#and then only write books I hate

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!

[tiger-moran]

Also there's this post going round where someone who I already had blocked for reasons I don't remember though maybe it was that post that made me block them who knows anyway it's them basically mocking people for not reading loads of books per year and saying essentially anyone who doesn't read many books per year, their opinions on everything are uninformed and worthless, and it pisses me off no end.

I mean not only is it condescending as hell

and absurd to make it sound as if reading books is the only possible way to get information and a broader viewpoint on things

it's also basically ableist as fuck too to expect everyone to be able to read countless books

and it's ignoring the fact that many people can't afford to read countless books (and sorry but 'free ebooks and libraries exist' does not solve that problem, there are loads of reasons why both those options are useless for many people, especially many disabled and poor people)

And I am just... I am sick of wasting my time and money getting and reading books that I turn out to hate. Like even only within the past two or three years, just off the top of my head there's been Caroline Akrill's fourth book in the eventing 'trilogy', a series I loved as a child and still liked when I reread it as an adult but I hated the fourth book, it was like she'd forgotten anything and everything which made the original series engaging (possibly not surprising when she wrote it like 30 years later (and it really really showed, despite it being supposedly set right after the original series) and I really genuinely wish she hadn't bothered); Lights of Prague which was so, so boring; some Sherlock Holmes anthology, I don't know which it was since I sold it months ago, which I didn't give a damn about no not even the story involving Moriarty and Moran because it was the standard 'they are awful people and we have to defeat them' shit and despite how other people made it sound they were barely in it anyway while it was mostly about Mycroft, a character I really don't care about; Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell or whatever it's called which had the distinction of being the first book I ever managed to fall asleep while sitting up in the middle of the day reading it because I found it so tedious; the Frey and McGray series which I stuck with despite not liking a lot of elements but I did at least like the main characters (or at least I liked them when they weren't drugged and being horrible to each other) but I enjoyed the last book in the series so little I've now put the entire series in my 'to sell' box; The Magpie Lord which was just awful anyway and contained a relationship dynamic I really dislike as well. There were probably others I've repressed all memory of. Even some other stuff I liked, it kind of... degenerated for me the further it went. Like for example I did quite like most of Caroline Graham's Inspector Barnaby series but I really didn't like the last one, I didn't like a lot of it anyway and then by the end it went way too weird as well.

I am genuinely at the stage now where I just... don't dare risk buying (and therefore reading) any more books because this keeps happening, so many of the ones I do risk buying I do not like at all, but I am sick of there being nothing I want to read, of every single list of 'recommended books' being lists of stuff I haven't got the slightest interest in reading not least because so, so much now seems to be 'young adult' stuff. I do not want to read about children! I do not want to read about teenagers! And I certainly do not want to read about teenagers and their romantic relationships (or usually, it seems, ~love triangle~ shit)! (What happened to books about adults? Because going by most of the lists I've seen unless you want ~classic literature~ books about adults over the age of about 20 barely exist any more)

I'm sick of it being impossible to find anything else I want to read because nobody is writing it or publishing it, stories with the type of characters and relationships and other things I have an interest in... they do not exist. I have searched time and time again and I am not finding anything.

And if I ask anywhere for recommendations mostly all I seem to get is people recommending me stuff that bears no resemblance to what I'm actually asking for (post-WWII is not Victorian!) and where people seem to assume a book simply being ~diverse~ in some way somehow automatically makes it an amazing flawless book that I'm going to absolutely love every moment of reading, also very often all they recommend are ebooks I can't read anyway and/or books that cost like £15 each which I can't afford.

And then those shits start ridiculing and demeaning people who don't read many books.

[shinynewmemories]

Listen to me Suzanne Collins did not have to give Katniss and Peeta a history before the games. She did NOT have to do that. She could have just had their story begin when Peeta's name was called. She could have had them be total strangers until the moment of the reaping.

Like: "And the boy tribute is... Peeta Mellark!" Katniss: Who's that? Or she could have made them vaguely familiar with each other! Peeta's name is called and Katniss just thinks, Oh, I know that name! He's in my class, actually. Poor boy... Anyway!

Either way, SC could have written the rest of the story exactly the same! I think many authors would have done that! Because if Peeta's purpose in the book was to be Gale's competition, to be one of the 3 corners of a love triangle, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE WAY TO DO IT!! But that's NOT how she did it because that's NOT what Peeta is.

And who is he? To Katniss, Peeta's someone who saved her and her family and received nothing in return except a beating. Peeta's someone she has had her eye on but has never worked up the courage to talk to. Peeta's someone she associates with kindness and hope. And all this before the start of the events of the book! Just because WE, the READERS, met Gale before Peeta and immediately felt a connection with him does NOT mean that was Katniss's experience! And that's what SC is trying to tell us!

To dismiss Katniss and Peeta's past as unimportant or inconsequential compared to whatever Katniss and Gale have in the present is to fundamentally misunderstand Katniss as a character and, as a result, condemn oneself to never fully understand the choices she makes in the future.

Suzanne Collins wrote it that way on purpose because she had something to say. And no one will ever be able to convince me that something wasn't "It was always going to be Peeta".

[withonly-sweetheart]

hear me out. nsfw mentions ahead

<><><><>

re6 leon in which the events of re2 never happen, he doesn't become a police officer until chris recommends it to get over a break up, smth abt finding your purpose or fuck tht

he's got no idea what he's doing in the goddamn room, six months of training later, but theres a shiny new badge on his chest and a can do attitude that disappears as soon as he twists over his shoulder to check out his t.o.

shit, you must be at least, what, a decade younger than him? he has to hold back a scoff when sergeant dismisses the room, and suddenly he's left alone with your silent, wide eyes looking up at him.

you keep him behind you in your quick, clicking steps, allowing little time for the questions he asks, trying to pry that little shell of yours open. but you're unrelenting, in the way that he is, in your serious posture and his amused demeanor.

a demeanor that "has no place on the force", you tell him a week later, just after he's turned the corner and tripped over the felony you handcuffed just seconds ago.

he huffs and puffs on the ground, but he knows that you're the big bad wolf in his story. and he's not about to swap roles to become little red riding hood.

so after crashing at chris' penthouse with a cooler full of cold beer, a recovering heart and heavy thoughts, he realizes that he can do so much better. become what you expect.

and the man that walks in the day after? well, he's not the same old man whose back you were snickering behind when he got the captain's office and the locker room mixed up, courtesy of your fellow cops.

you feel more like a cheetah around its prey than a partner to him, especially with the snarky banter that flows easily, the subtly thrown smiles and winks during an ambush, his awkward yet sweetly charming demeanor.

and guess who can really judge a book by its cover? well, in this case, you suppose by its age.

to be honest, the only thing stopping you from pouncing is the number printed next to his name on the file that's two months late, sending all you've known about him into a loophole.

it appears that sometimes, the force of objects thrust into motion cant be stopped, and the events that ensure one night during a late night study of the rook book ends up with a pair of boots tangled in his sheets.

the thrill of getting caught is delicious, hell, its the reason you became a goddamned cop. but you've been denied that thrill all your life, and when it finally comes to you in the form of this glorious man, you should've realized there would've been some kind of problem.

your crazy big hint was the sun-crinkled eyes, salt and pepper stubble and old man advice, but that's hard to think about when his mouth is buried between your thighs, and even harder is to remember the question he asked beforehand, now somehow expecting an answer as he smothers your hips in wet, sticky kisses. blissfully broken and gazing at the book with glazed eyes.

because how the fuck are you supposed to memorize how to identify a gun when that was the best head you've gotten in years? but when he finally sinks into you with a groan, you realize that there is one gun you will always be able to identify on sight.

better pray that doesn't show up on the quiz though.

series masterlist

[tacroyy]

LMAO YELLING!!! this is from diana wynne jones to her editor—

Dear Miriam, I have been on the phone to Terry Pratchett who sent me a rough draft of a story which is going to be very good, but he is very anxious to know at what stage in the process he actually gets the money.

[ganondoodle]

been sitting at my desk for 3 hours just trying to decide if it would be better to draw or to write on the totk rant document, not doing either

[fallloverfic]

I love singNsong again reminding people in Side Story that Dokja wanted other people to read TWSA (he wrote reviews and comments! It was his first wish), and he only stopped bothering because people harassed him for it. He didn't gate-keep the story. When he's avoiding talking to Sangah about it at the beginning of ORV, it's because he knows what happens when he tells people about the story, not because he's gate-keeping it from her. He notes he's not proud of his hobby (likely because he's been bullied all through his life, including for reading the thing he loves): he finds it embarrassing to talk about, and better respects her studying Spanish in her free time (learning another language is a generally accepted thing in society). He assumes she won't care or will look at him funny (or worse) for when she learns about the novel he's into.

Basically anyone writing "let's gatekeep ORV" posts because of the anime announcement or because they dislike the manhwa or some other weirdness, y'all are the villains in the scenario.

The literal climax of the story is about sharing ORV with as many people as possible. What story were y'all reading?

[old-skyguy]

Look.

Ace Attorney fandom.

I know why people don't like Turnabout Bigtop. I am among the people who dislike Turnabout Bigtop.

But I GET why people like the case. I'm not going to be one of those annoying people who just blindly dump on it because I hate those mfs too.

Thing about Bigtop isn't that it sucks. Thing isn't the weird grooming stuff (though that is a huge part of it). It's not that it could've been good.

It's that - in my personal OPINION - it could have been *great*.

I think it had the potential to be one of the best third cases in the trilogy. It had everything; a fun and goofy setting fit for a pretty dang goofy lawyer game - where the environment itself had jokes and quips and one-liners and mishaps and tomfoolery written all over it, it had the previous case introducing a very interesting and important plotline that gave background for one of the more well-loved characters while also introducing an equally fucked up and lovable new one who was a child forced into a shit childhood of naivete in a CIRCUS with another character who was very naive and childish - whose interactions could have been funny and cute and reflective of said shit from the previous case (seriously she becomes such an important character in the 4th case, WHY would they not include her in this one for some character development? How did they fuck up letting a CHILD explore a CIRCUS?? That would have made the interactions flow MUCH better).

They had a pretty good, sympathetic killer imo, a morally dubious victim, an asshole of a client (who was pretty flat admittedly in-game, but I like his weird, topsy-turvy reasoning for it in the anime. Also, I think Max being kinda a dick would have bode well for the themes of Farewell since most of his clients up to this point have been like...nice? Not nice, but sympathetic, but him having to defend someone who's innocent but a prick would have shown him that just because someone is an asshole, doesn't mean they deserve to suffer for it and that they have the potential to grow as people, which is almost a complete foil to what Matt was. Ultimately, I would have loved the contrast of them as clients and I think it would have also served as character development for Phoenix, especially with his low-empathy tendencies).

They just didn't think that far ahead. They just didn't execute it well enough. They just decided to make three of the adult characters fight for the hand in marriage of a teenage girl. (Bat's part of the story was actually kinda good if he was just YOUNGER, I think him doing that for Regina would have been a stupid thing someone in the circus would do to impress their crush. Damn you Ace Attorney and your weird treatment of underage girls!!)

It just flopped and that's ok.

Even though it kinda sucked, it can still mean something to me.

Also I'm a Moe Curls apologist. I liked him, shut up.

[skunkes]

[paldogangsaan]

the most frustrating part abt the scene with alicent and rhaenyra (other than it being ridiculous) is the attempt at portraying alicent as a passive victim with zero agency (TO BE CLEAR she's a victim of both otto and viserys, that's not a question, she had no choice there. she did, however, have a choice in other moments and those are what i'm talking abt in this post). the writers essentially made her go "oh i thought he was talking about MY aegon. well, it's too late. i am a tragic figure who never wanted war. oh no" like ?? some of us have eyes and can see that alicent has been actively trying to gain power, undermine rhaenyra, and divide the family even before the time skip. she shows up to rhaenyra's wedding late and wearing green, she sows discord between their kids, spreads rumors of rhaenyra's children being bastards despite knowing it could get them killed (+ in the book the only ppl yapping abt them being bastards were alicent and criston cole bc the point of spreading rumors was to undermine and hurt both them and rhaenyra, if it was true or not was irrelevant), and she literally hits aegon and insists that rhaenyra will kill him to cement her claim to the throne even when there's been no indication that she would. alicent did not have to do any of those things, she actively chose to

and rhaenyra was willing to leave all that in the past by marrying helaena and jace thus ending the (then metaphorical) war between their sides of the family, but alicent refused bc she wanted power and for rhaenyra to not have any, so she made active choices to ensure that, and didn't care for the consequences. now her son is the king, she never prepared him for it so he's shit at it, she can't control him, she has no power, and the only person surprised is her (and otto). but again, these are choices SHE made or helped make. making an enemy of rhaenyra, and everything that came bc of that, was a choice. she would've helped put aegon on the throne whether viserys quoted the prophecy to her or not, be it usurpation (which it was) or not. that was a choice alicent made. stop portraying her as a passive victim of the dance when that role belongs to helaena

[conqueenror]

People often forget the fact that the main character/cast in the story doesn't have to believe in the right thing. They can be very wrong, they can die while believing in something very wrong. And it's not just the "tragic" very wrong, nor the "badass villain" very wrong, it is actually something disgusting and inhumane, that makes people feel terrible knowing that in some story, the main cast can have awful morals. In some stories, no character, not the main cast nor the villain, may have the right insight on something. And people will automatically assume that the story and the author are terrible, because everything is so bad in the story. Except, this makes people ignore said story itself. The right belief may actually be hidden, and only uncovered by seeing what these characters, main cast or villains, get in the end. You can't know that running wild on the rocky ground is a bad idea, until you fall, or hear it from someone else.

[thewingedwolf]

luther: the golden child

diego: the mastermind

allison: the peace keeper

klaus: the clown / mascot

five: the rebel / truth teller

ben: the lost child

viktor: the scapegoat

is this something i think this is something

[konigceo]

modern booktok romance books SUCK and i'll leave it at that

[ungodlysaltyinfrastructure]

As determined by the poll.

The Iris Analysis. Uncut, since I am not revising this monster word count of an analysis.

Now with A DLC111!1!1!!11!!! (I added new thoughts :p)

[Warning, this post deals with a pretty heavy and uncomfortable topic. If you don't like mentions or implications of SA or Sexual/Romantic Manipulation, heed this warning.]

“Your eyes are so pretty and unique, I don't think I've ever seen anybody with mismatched eyes like that.”

So about Iris…

Character Analysis time !!!1!1+!+1+1

Author's Note: I heavily debated making and posting this analysis because of the topic at hand, but I want to say, this analysis helped me realize how strong of a character Iris is, and can be. The more I think about her, the more she's becoming my favorite.

We are first introduced to Iris in ep 5, "Iris" (fitting)

As Alux is done talking to the Guard and is leaving, he finds Iris being berated by two people.

"What are you doing here, freak? I thought I told you to get lost."

"Sigh, I'm just here to get my stuff for my travels, so back off.”

"Or what? You'll beat us up again? You know how that ended last time."

"Yeah, poor little Oddy ( or Oddie) ended up in jail all night. Not only is she a freak, but a criminal too.”

"Just shove off and leave me alone."

"Or what? You gonna cry?"

Pause

"Or what? You'll beat us up again? You know how that ended last time."

We know Iris is a bit of a fighter as she's defensive, but, Iris beating up people?

What for?

I know we shouldn't take the bullies by their word, but the implications of Iris getting into a fight with them is... concerning, to say the least.

I'm just worried that this "fight" may have, possibly, not been of Iris' making.

Call it a hunch, but I feel like any altercation Iris would have with the bullies would've been in self-defense. (You'll see why I think that after a few paragraphs.)

The next conversation we see Iris have is with Alux after her attackers are gone.

"Are you okay, Miss?- Ouch! What- was that for?"

"I can handle myself, you know."

"I never said you couldn't."

"Look, if you're trying to get something out of saving me, then you're mistaken.”

"I don't want anything."

"Yeah, suure... wait, are you... serious?"

"Yeah, I'm serious. I just wanted to help.”

"But... why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you help me?"

"Well, you looked like you were in trouble. You needed help, so I helped!"

"But you don't even know who I am! I could be a criminal, for all you know."

"-And I still would've helped you."

"Wow. You'd be the first one.

Pause

"Look, if you're trying to get something out of saving me, then you're mistaken."

That… is a VERY concerning thing to say to a man who just defended you, for no apparent reason as you would see it, as a woman who was just being targeted and harassed.

To put it lightly, I smell trauma.

We know AR doesn't shy away from rather uncomfortable topics like Sexual Harassment and Physical Violence.

When Alux gives this kind gesture to Iris, the first thing she does is assert that she doesn't need Alux to stand up for her. That she didn't need a man to defend her. She can get by, all on her own.

Iris even assumed that the only reason Alux would even be "saving" her is to get something from or out of her. When she realizes that Alux is being genuine, she gets... confused. It's obvious that she doesn't get this kind of kindness from strangers unless they had an ulterior motive pertaining to her. Her difference in eye colors is most likely why she was and is treated differently by many people. So when she meets someone who is unbiased and non-judgmental about a person's physical appearance, it's strange to her.

Then, we get to the second portion of the conversation

"Then I'm happy to be the first. I'm Alux by the way."

"I'm Iris."

"Pleasure to meet you. Your eyes are so pretty and unique, I don't think I've ever seen anybody with mismatched eyes like that.”

"You really think so?"

"Of course!- OUCH!”

"Stop trying to sweet talk me you jerk!"

"S-sweet Talk? What does that even mean?”

"You know? 'sweet talk', 'flirting', 'being overly nice for some reason'?"

"Uhh, I'm confused..." (this is where I got the Aro Alux headcanon from ^^^^)

"So..., you're seriously just being genuine?"

"Yeah... is that a bad thing or something...?”

"No, it's... just different, that all..."

Pause

…

*Deep inhale*

Iris taking Alux's compliment on her eyes as a sight of "sweet talking/flirting" is very alarming.

The fact that she views sweet talking akin to FLIRTING is a really bad sign for her!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The definition of "sweet talking" is

"insincerely praise (someone) in order to persuade them to do something."

The definition of flirting is

“behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.”

Flirting can be serious and unserious depending on what the person who's flirting means.

But sweet talk under the guise of flirting is more akin to manipulation than it is flirting, as the sweet talk is used to make someone do something, while having the flirting being the reason why the person sweet talking wants you to do something. But because sweet talking is insincere praise, the flirting then becomes THE insincere praise given.

Iris thought Alux's actions of defending and complimenting her were insincere, ("stop trying to sweet talk me you jerk!") And that he was only doing it to get something from her. ("Look, if you're trying to get something out of saving me, then you're mistaken.")

Iris was so quick to assume such a thing from Alux, and was so quick to get defensive about herself and her ability to self-defend.

Remember when I said I think that the "fight" Iris had with the bullies was actually self-defense? Yea well, the reason I think that is because Iris is very vulnerable, trying to put up a tough facade. She has a target on her back and is often bullied for her uniqueness. With how snarky and vindictive the bullies act towards her, I wouldn't be surprised if one of them put their hands on her.

And here is where we get into the not so fun part of this Analysis.

Here is where I would usher you to click out of this post if you feel uncomfortable with discussions of Sexual Harassment/Assault and or Sexual/Romantic Maniputation. (When I first made this realization of Iris, it was not fun for me)

-------------------------------------------------

As I've said, AR doesn't shy away from uncomfortable topics, and is a bit of a more mature series. Fully displaying one of the many awful things some girls go through. (The Clark and Mae interaction.)

Now, I want you to understand the implications of Iris thinking sweet talking is akin to flirting, and how she thought Alux had originally wanted something out of her when he "saved" her.

…

Did you let it sit and sink in? Because when I did, I was mortified.

Iris is pretty and different and vulnerable because she's different. She may even be insecure about it. Maybe that's why she blushes when Alux compliments her on her eyes.

She's quick to snap at Alux because of her assumptions. Why would she even make the assumptions in the first place?

-----------------------------------------------

I believe that, unfortunately, at some point in her life, Iris had been taken advantage of.

She was in danger, and someone helped her. She thanked them and was about to set off until they stopped her, and started to press her. "Well, I did something for you, why don't you do something for me as repayment?"

They sweet talked her into giving in. Using her eyes as a means to make her vulnerable. Convincing her they were flirting with her. Making her believe they were interested in her. Only to leave her alone and scared.

-------------------------------------------------

It's a sad thought and realization to have. The degree of which the action was is, I feel, is for the best, to be up to interpretation. It's not nice to think about these things, but this makes Iris a very complex and deep character, and I feel that she deserves to be talked about more.

With how she persists and how confident she can be, it's clear she's grown past any harm done to her. It's just this defensiveness manifested to protect herself from any more harm similar.

(Note: This is NOT a confirmed backstory or any confirmed history about Iris. She may as well have a completely different reason for why she was so defensive and closed off at first. Maybe fake friends or a fake crush. Something a little more lighter as implications of SA or anything similar is hard to stomach.)

Ok old analysis over.

Time for thoughts.

Now that we have more Iris content, I'm actually really glad I made this. Iris’ potential abuse is very subtle and is not a focus point, and I think that was a good choice to have.

It's not a defining character trait for her. It's her light rudeness and presenting rough exterior that makes her, well, her! And that very well can be a result of her past. Another thing I didn't notice before is that she always seems to be on edge. She always has her guard up. And she's quick to act on something.

And the most interesting part about this? Later, like in this most recent ep, she doesn't know what to do with these feelings. It's like she's conflicted. She knows it's silly and nonsensical that she developed this crush so soon, but she can't help but feel this way.

And another thing is that these feelings are only seen with her.

Her possible previous experience was not ideal, and as it may have been her first or one of her first, she wouldn't have properly known what a good start to a relationship would look like. And this time with Alux, it's now her first proper time where she can fully digest these feelings.

Now, I haven't really experienced “romantic attraction” in my 15 years on this earth, but from accounts of other people, I would surmise that feelings like these are inescapable for some. Consuming you every time you look at your crush. To a point where some would go to drastic measures to satisfy any desire pertaining to the crush. (Every time girls at my school talk about relationships, it's always either about an insane guy or them doing the most out of pocket thing to get their crush to notice them) so I would assume at least that these feelings are intense, and that they're not by choice by Iris. (It's choice by the writers lol)

And it's the whole thing about the fact that the romance aspect of the series is presented through Iris. We don't see any hints of crushes or romantic endeavors from anyone else.

Ok except maybe Petro and Mark but that's doomed yaoi-

And we don't see it in Alux, we only see it in the fact that IRIS is the one who has a crush. Not Alux.

When we focus on Alux, it's more about his secret identity of being a prince, and trying to find his true self and what his past really was before returning to Cozen. Not about his love life or romantic endeavors. (He does have one or pursue any LOL)

But with the presumidly main romance arc being presented through Iris, it may be about her learning how to deal with her own feelings, others feelings, and her relationship to romantic and platonic dynamics throughout the series.

How will that turn out? I have no idea. But I doubt it will be successful with Alux. He has bigger fish to fry.

I just wanted to express my feelings and thoughts about this aspect of Iris. She is a character that is becoming more developed, like with Alux, it's just slower due to the runtime of each episode. And I found her character intriguing, so I just kept thinking about her until I couldn't. 🥴

[shorlinesorrows]

every once and a while I think about how the narrative / characters in stormlight archive canon actively denied and downplayed kaladin’s experiences with oppression the second he became a radiant and a “light eyes” and the way that people in real life treat people that “pass” as white and “pass” as cis and “pass” as abled

sometimes I think about how shallans experiences as a light eyed woman led to her directly press on those wounds, about how she told kaladin he was wrong to be angry or distrustful of her, and how the narrative agreed with her. because even if it wasn’t directly her fault, shallan is a member of an oppressive class that quite literally forced kaladin to fight in pointless wars of pride and enslaved him, who were ultimately responsible for his brothers death, because to them tien was not a child. he was expendable.

shallan did not do bad things to kaladin directly, but the narrative treats his distrust and anger at light eyes as irrational when it is anything but. of course kaladin doesn’t trust her. of course kaladin is angry. she is not trying to be cruel, but sometimes ignorance feels a lot like cruelty.

sometimes I think about how the narrative and the people in it try to separate kaladin from his identity when he becomes a radiant. About how they say he is a lighteyes now, about how those around him try to tell him it doesn’t matter anymore. what happened to him doesn't matter. what happened to his family doesn’t matter. about how, potentially for the rest of his life, kaladin is going to have to sit in conversations with privileged people and listen to words that cut the wrong places, rub old wounds, but it’s okay, don’t be so dramatic, that’s not even you anymore, why are you so angry it was just a joke

I'm thinking about how they act like he isn't darkeyed, when that part of his identity will always be there, and about how it was stolen from him. about how the narrative says "you are now in a position of privilege, so you are not allowed to be angry that the color of your eyes determines what these people think you're worth"

I'm thinking about how he may not have dark eyes anymore, but he is still seen as 'less than' in some respects, about how he's treated like either a weapon or someone to be discarded, about how his life didn't matter to the people above them until he had something to give them. Until he was interesting enough.

I’m thinking about how the narrative tries to sterilize, steal, his identity and his anger and says those things are wrong.

And it makes me want to scream.