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lyinginbedmon · 2 years ago

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What the hell I’m in a lot of pain tonight with lots still to do and feeling punchy.

Adult Human Female.

The quintessential transphobe’s response to the nonsense question of what constitutes a woman. I’m about to break this buzzphrase like a caped crusader’s spine over a luchador’s knee.

Adult - What is an adult? Are we going by a legal definition, in which case it’s purely arbitrary and also allows the law the theoretical power of nullifying your status as “a woman” AND BOY WOULDN’T THAT BE UNPLEASANT HUH, or are we going by some biological definition? In which case, what are we saying defines adulthood? Is it reproductive capacity, in which case we’re starting at teenagers and ending at menopause, IF THAT. Is it bones fusing, hormonal systems, some kind of physiological flux that we’re going to call puberty, absolutely NONE of which happens in the same reliable time frame for every single human being or even most of them? This is a ridiculous phrase upon which to base a concrete definition of someone’s identity, but that’s about to be the strongest in the lot.

Female - I’m out of sequence but believe me it’ll be worth it. The hell is “female” supposed to mean? Are we talking social expectations, in which case your definition of woman is whoever cooks dinner, cleans the house, raises the children, and does so all whilst looking unrealistically attractive in a very narrow line. Or are we going to be more biological, in which case we’re back at having to pin down some kind of distinct biological characteristic that is not only highly flexible but also entirely subject to things like diet, illness, psychology, etc. etc. I’m betting they want me to say anyone born with a uterus but we all know that’s not the case for a great many women and even more don’t have one that works through most of their life if it exists at all.

So hey, the final curtain: What in the Arnold Schwarzenegger Appears In Jingle All The Way is a “human” supposed to be? Because outside of a Farmyard Animals picture book, the biological concept of a species is EXTREMELY vague. We try to draw the line by saying that a human being is a bipedal viviparous mammal with 4 extremities each with 5 digits and an expressive face capable of high-level cognition and language, but do you have any idea how many people don’t meet that definition and, moreover, how many other species Do? We can try to draw lines by saying that two animals that can breed non-sterile children are the same species, but then things like ligers and tigons waltz over the horizon. In reality, there’s not a single thing in your body that plainly declares that you are human, it’s all just comparisons to a baseline that is broad, vague, and ever-changing.

And under no circumstances do you want to get a legal definition involved here.

For the victory lap, chromosomes. Humans have 46 of them on average, plus a few hundred copies of the entire mitochondrial genome, and transphobes love to cite 2 of them at the most. Of those 2, they love to pick on the itty-bitty Y chromosome, with its 200 individual genes. Meanwhile, the X chromosome has another 800 out of the grand total of TWENTY ONE THOUSAND. That is one 46th of the chromosomes, holding less than a single percent of the total genetic makeup in your body.

And that’s assuming that everything works the way they think it does, which it doesn’t.

There’s no singular gene that describes how your organs are positioned, how your pelvis is shaped, what hormonal cycles your hypothalamus runs, and so on and so on. But what there is is a complex interconnected web of genes that result in all of those things, at which you might say “wait a minute, don’t they still result in broadly similar results?” to which I would say YES, because if an organism keeled over dead from any casual genetic error we wouldn’t get very far up the evolutionary ladder.

Evolution is extremely fixated on managing things so that any particular hiccup doesn’t wipe things out, because it is Incredibly Easy for that to happen. It’s not perfect, because nature never is, but it’s gotten pretty good at compensating, and as a result there’s a lot of different genetic differences that result in something that looks, on the face of it, largely the same. There’s lots of different paths it can take to the same basic destination. But underneath the hood is a whole host of differences that most people spend their lives totally unaware of until somebody needs to actually look closer at their genome. Evolution absolutely despises definitions, because the more tightly constrained an organism’s makeup is, the more vulnerable and fragile it becomes.

We are a loose bag of chemicals flying through space, what the hell kind of certainty did you expect trying to pin a single concrete definition on a living population of over 8 billion specimens.

#lgbt #lying rants #long post

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thekawaiibutterflygirl · 2 years ago

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honestly the mcu died when the stories only got wider, not deeper. I prefer when they do little stuff, little stories about things, and not this big interconnected web. I don't necessarily want everything connected, only in fan theories and stories written by fans. I would much rather it to have been vaguely hinted at than something like infinity war existing. It feels like a fanfiction and not an actual thing.

mcu spiderman would've worked if it was just a fun thing about spiderman, but without the avengers, without the big interconnected story, mcu spiderman holds up to nothing and it shows.

the more i think about mcu spider-man the more i don’t like mcu spider-man

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mccdreamys-writes · 8 months ago

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smiles for miles – 17. days of haze

sometimes i look in her eyes and that's where i find a glimpse of us. - Joji, Glimpse of Us

S E P T E M B E R 1 9 T H 2 0 1 1

In the haze of my mind, distant voices floated toward me like whispers carried on a gentle breeze. They were like echoes from another world, their origins elusive as they danced at the edges of my awareness.

Struggling to make sense of the voices, my thoughts became tangled in a web of confusion. Each attempt to grasp their meaning only seemed to push them further away, leaving me lost in a fog of uncertainty.

Then, amidst the jumble of sounds, a voice cut through the confusion like a beacon in the night. It was a voice I recognized immediately, stirring memories that lay dormant within me for too long.

"Alex," I whispered to myself, the sound of her name lingering on my lips like a whispered prayer to some distant force. Yet, even as I called out to her in my thoughts, doubts began to creep in, casting shadows of uncertainty over my perception.

Was she truly here, or was she merely a creation of my mind, a figment born from the depths of my imagination? The question lingered, haunting the corners of my consciousness like a ghost.

In the tangled maze of my thoughts, memories and fantasies intertwined, blurring the lines between reality and illusion. The uncertainty weighed heavy on me, casting a veil of doubt over the landscape of my mind.

Memories of past dreams, strange and vivid, lingered in my mind like echoes from a distant realm. Among them, one encounter stood out—the surreal journey where I faced the devil himself, a vision so vivid it felt almost real, yet too fantastical to believe.

But as I revisited these memories, doubts crept in like shadows creeping across a dimly lit room. Was it all just a creation of my imagination, a concoction born from the depths of my subconscious? The line between reality and illusion blurred, leaving me questioning the nature of my experiences.

In my contemplation, I found myself pondering the elusive boundary between dreams and reality. Were they truly separate realms, or were they interconnected, sharing threads that wove through the fabric of my existence? The questions swirled in my mind, like leaves caught in a whirlwind, as I searched for answers in the depths of my consciousness.

As I grappled with these deep questions about existence, a heavy sense of unease settled upon me, weighing down my thoughts like a suffocating blanket. I knew that once I opened my eyes, I would face the harsh truth of my solitude, confronted by the empty expanse of my room, as desolate as ever.

But then, there was also the possibility of waking up in my father's old shed, surrounded by the peculiar characters I'd encountered there—James and Ira. However, even as I entertained these potential realities, they seemed to blend and merge in my mind, their distinctions fading into a murky haze.

A profound sense of confusion washed over me, like being caught in the grip of a glitch that disrupted the very fabric of reality. My mind felt trapped in a relentless cycle, endlessly churning through fragments of thoughts and memories, each one disjointed and elusive, with no clear path forward.

With a cautious flutter, I slowly opened my heavy eyelids, unsure of what awaited me as I emerged from the depths of sleep. Through the haze of drowsiness, shapes began to form, gradually morphing into vague outlines of figures that seemed to linger just beyond the reach of my awareness.

Despite my best efforts to bring the scene into focus, a heavy sense of fatigue weighed me down, making clarity feel like an elusive dream. My eyelids, burdened by exhaustion, threatened to close once more, tempting me back into the comforting embrace of slumber.

Yet, amidst the fog of semi-consciousness, a sensation stirred within me—a gentle pressure against my hand, as if seeking connection in the dimly lit room. Another hand, warm and familiar, intertwined with mine, offering a sense of comfort and security in the midst of the uncertain haze.

Though my eyelids clung tightly shut, the touch stirred something deep within me, awakening memories that had long lain dormant. It was a touch that seemed to bridge the gap between past and present, evoking a sense of familiarity that resonated in the depths of my soul.

Summoning every ounce of determination, I fought against the heaviness that weighed upon my eyelids, urging them to relent and allow me to see. Gradually, as if under a spell, my eyelids relented, parting to reveal the dimly lit room that surrounded me.

Through the haze of sleep, a voice, soft yet unmistakably familiar, reached me, cutting through the fog of confusion that clouded my mind. "Hey, Smiles," it whispered, the words carrying a warmth and tenderness that enveloped me like a comforting embrace. In that moment, the fog began to lift, and clarity washed over me like a wave, bringing with it a sense of peace and understanding.

The recognition that Alex was actually there flooded through me like a rush of comfort, washing away the lingering uncertainties that had clouded my thoughts. It felt like a beam of light breaking through the darkness, a moment of clarity in the midst of confusion, reassuring me that I hadn't completely lost myself in the maze of my mind.

With cautious certainty, I felt the muscles around my mouth twitch, hinting at the emergence of a smile, however faint. It was a tiny spark of happiness amid the swirling doubts that clouded my mind. But even as I savored this brief connection, I remained acutely aware of the tenuous grasp I had on reality.

As if pulled by some invisible hand, my eyelids were yanked open by a blinding glare that sliced through the darkness like a bolt of lightning. The sudden onslaught stunned me, a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings crashing in its wake.

'Jesus,' I muttered to myself, a hint of irony lacing my thoughts. 'Are you serious? After just chatting with Lucifer?' It was a strange moment of dark humor amidst the chaos, a sardonic nod to the bizarre nature of my situation.

With a groan, I shut my eyes tight again, craving shelter from the overwhelming brightness threatening to swallow me whole. In the darkness, I found a brief sanctuary, a fleeting escape from the relentless assault on my senses.

Then, as suddenly as it had vanished, the light flooded back, casting a gentle radiance over my surroundings. Within the luminous haze, a familiar sound reached my ears—a laugh, airy and contagious, drifting from my right.

It was Alex's laughter, a melody I hadn't heard in what felt like ages. In that instant, uncertainty melted away, replaced by a comforting sense of closeness and familiarity.

"Alex," I murmured, my voice hoarse and feeble, the word slipping past my dry lips like a fragile breath. Amidst the fog of confusion clouding my mind, it was the only coherent thought.

It wasn't just my eyes that felt heavy; every part of me was weighed down by an oppressive fatigue, as if my entire being had been enveloped in a heavy blanket of exhaustion.

In the murky haze of my consciousness, her hand found mine, a source of comfort in the gloom threatening to swallow me whole. With delicate movements, she ran her fingers through my hair, each touch a gentle reminder of the bond we'd shared since childhood. It was a familiar gesture, bringing a sense of warmth and security even in the dimness.

She was pulling me back from the edge, urging me to emerge from the depths of unconsciousness into the uncertain realm of wakefulness. And somehow, against all odds, she succeeded.

"I'm here," her voice cut through the fog, a steady presence in the midst of confusion, grounding me in the here and now. In her words, I found a brief respite, a moment of clarity amid the swirling chaos of my mind.

A gentle smile curved my lips, a silent testament to the comfort I found in her company. In that fleeting moment, a profound realization dawned upon me—I was in love with her. It was a revelation that swept over me like a gentle breeze, calming the tumult within my soul.

'I love Alex,' the thought reverberated in my mind, a quiet admission that harmonized with the pulsing rhythm of my heart. It was a truth I had concealed for so long, buried beneath layers of hesitation and fear. But now, in the clarity of that moment, I embraced the depth of my feelings for her without reservation.

And then, like a distant echo from another time, I recalled the last words she had spoken before darkness claimed me—a tender declaration that had clung to the edges of my fading awareness, a fragile lifeline in the sea of darkness.

'I love you,' her voice had murmured, gentle yet unwavering, as I slipped into the abyss of unconsciousness. In those words, there was solace, a balm for the turmoil within me, but also a perplexing uncertainty. For while her love brought warmth to my soul, I grappled with the complexity of my own emotions, unsure of how to navigate the depths of my heart.

Even as I grappled with uncertainty, a glimmer of hope persisted within me, whispering that maybe, just maybe, this time it was real. The nagging question of my surroundings—was I in a shed?—briefly crossed my mind, but I pushed it aside, focusing instead on the reassuring touch of her hand and the soothing sound of her voice, pulling me back from the brink of darkness.

Yet, amidst the swirling doubts, a persistent sense of unease took root in the depths of my mind, like a shadow stubbornly lingering in the corners. It cast doubt upon my experiences, questioning whether what I felt and heard was genuine.

Perhaps, I mused, it was merely a longing so profound that it conjured illusions in my mind. Like a mirage in the desert, her presence might have been a figment of my desperate desire for companionship, woven from memories and fantasies to fill the void of loneliness.

I remembered the first time I caught a glimpse of her, like a fleeting shadow darting through the corridors of my mind. In the quiet recesses of solitude, I brushed it off as a trick of my weary imagination, grasping at illusions in the darkness of despair.

Why would she be here, in Alabama? The question echoed in my thoughts, unanswered and perplexing. She had no connections to this place, no reason to appear out of thin air. Yet, despite the logical doubts, the ghostly impression of her presence lingered, teasing me with its elusive nature.

It happened a few more times afterward, each encounter more elusive than the last. With every passing moment, I retreated deeper into skepticism, convincing myself it was nothing but a figment of my longing, a fanciful dream born from the depths of my yearning.

A single tear trickled down my cheek, tracing a silent path that echoed the storm of emotions raging within me. It carried with it a mix of feelings — was it sorrow for what might have been lost, or joy for the unexpected reunion with someone so dear?

The uncertainty of my feelings mirrored the confusion of my surroundings. Where was I, and why had she sought me out here? These questions lingered, casting doubt over the fragile hope budding in my heart.

Yet, through the haze of uncertainty, a gentle touch brushed my cheek, wiping away the tear with a tenderness that spoke volumes. In that brief moment, as her touch enveloped me in warmth and comfort, I felt a certainty that defied logic — it had to be her.

"I love you, Alex," the words slipped from my lips, carrying with them the weight of years of longing and dreams. It was a confession that echoed through the depths of my being, the culmination of a love that had endured through time's trials.

She was my constant, my anchor in every storm life had thrown my way. Her presence illuminated even the darkest corners of my existence, even when she hadn't actually been there for any of those storms. With those words, I hoped to convey the depth of my feelings, the devotion that had sustained me through every trial.

As I felt her draw closer, her breath brushing against my skin, a rush of emotions surged within me. Each beat of my heart echoed loudly, a testament to the intensity of my affection for her. It was a feeling I had suppressed for too long, now bursting forth with renewed vigor in her presence.

"I love you too, my beautiful girl," her whispered response was a melody to my ears, confirming a truth I had scarcely allowed myself to hope for. In that moment, surrounded by her warmth, I felt a sense of completeness wash over me, as if every piece of my being had finally found its rightful place.

Summoning every ounce of determination within me, I mustered the strength to pry open my heavy eyelids. It felt like an arduous task, a feat requiring Herculean effort, but the thought of glimpsing her face again fueled my resolve.

As my eyes slowly parted, they were met with a blur of tears that obscured my vision. Each droplet was a reflection of the tumultuous emotions raging within me. It was as though a dam had burst, unleashing a flood of feelings that had been suppressed for far too long.

In that moment of vulnerability, I came to understand that this outpouring of tears was an integral part of the journey. Each tear shed was a testament to the depth of my love for her, a reminder of the profound impact she had on my life. Despite the blurred vision, my heart remained steadfast, illuminated by the radiant glow of her affection.

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mitigatedai · 1 year ago

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Summarizing 'The Big One'

Speaking of the mitigatedchaos fantasy country, which we will refer to as ARJ ("Alternate Reality Japan"), it's a very rich information source in LLM terms. You can think of it as a 32,000-word post crossing an #augmented reality break with a mitigatedchaos political theory post.

In fact, the 32k word post is too large for my RAM, so I spent three days summarizing it down to 12.7k words using Nous Capybara 34b. This was also too large, but a 6k hand-made summary from an old version was small enough to work.

Nous Capybara 34b was asked to write a brief report on ARJ, including an Overview, Government, Culture, and Economy, and then asked to assess ARJ's likely military strength.

Nous Capybara was then asked additional questions about a hypothetical conflict over Hawaiian separatism, including one essentially using the "pro-war power coalition" theory in just a sentence or two, from this post. Its answers were good, but not necessarily all that deep.

However, with this context, Capybara provided almost textbook-level definitions of "power coalition" (which it was asked to contrast with an "electoral coalition") and "political constellation":

Definitions

Power Coalition Definition: A power coalition refers to a group of political actors within a state who have significant influence or control over the decision-making process, particularly during times of conflict. These coalitions can consist of various organizations such as political parties, media outlets, think tanks, and other influential groups that work together to shape public opinion, set policy priorities, and support military actions. An electoral coalition refers to an alliance between two or more political parties for the purpose of winning elections. In this context, a power coalition may consist of members from multiple political parties that have formed an electoral coalition, but it also includes other influential actors beyond just those involved in politics, such as media organizations or think tanks. Political Constellation Definition: A political constellation is a broader term that encompasses the entire set of political institutions, organizations, and individuals within a state that shape its political landscape. This includes not only elected officials and their political parties but also other influential actors such as media outlets, universities, interest groups, and various non-governmental organizations (NGOs). In the context of a conflict, a political constellation can be thought of as the interconnected web of power relationships that determine the course of events within a state. The different factions within this constellation may have varying levels of influence over policy decisions, public opinion, and resource allocation, which can impact the outcome of a particular conflict or war. In summary, while an electoral coalition focuses on political parties working together to win elections, a power coalition represents a broader set of influential actors shaping decision-making during conflicts. A political constellation encompasses the entire range of political institutions and individuals within a state that influence its political landscape, including those involved in power coalitions and electoral alliances.

Its definitions without this context were kinda correct, but too vague to be useful.

What were the key two sentences?

"States, including their extended constellation of supporting organizations such as media, universities, and political parties, are never entirely unified. During each conflict, there will be a pro-war power coalition and an anti-war power coalition."

This is one of those "what you put in is what you get out" things - those two sentences are pretty conceptually dense. The possibility was there within the vague definitions, but required additional context to shape.

Summarizing

The 12.7k word summary turned out fairly well, even though I wasn't able to use it. I broke it down into about 20 sections and summarized each individually. The process still went faster than doing it by hand, partly because it would've been a tough decision to decide what to cut.

Summarizing usually took a best-of-3 approach, first boiling it down to a list of "Key Points," and then telling the LLM to use that to write the summary. Sometimes 1-2 sentences would be edited - about half the time, this was done in the key points list, which would contribute to the summary, and about half the time it was done in the summary itself.

List the 12-15 most important ideas or insights in the following passage, with a one sentence description of each. ----------- Original Passage ===========

The passage would be placed under here.

Key Points =======

The first pass would then generate the key point list. Without this, summaries tended to be too short - even when asked to write 600 words, Nous Capybara would usually write around 300 instead.

Summarize the Original Passage in 600 words. Use the Key Points as a guide. Give priority to the most important ideas or insights. Write from the author's perspective. Summary =======

Capitalizing "Original Passage" also seemed to make a difference. Using LLMs is more art than science. "Write from the author's perspective" seemed more vibes-based, and didn't reliably prevent writing things like, "the passage describes," and so on.

#ai_tag #ai_log

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googledocsdyke · 4 years ago

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WHAT are you writing i love the bit you posted can we read more pretty please

omg THANK u :”) i’m working on a collection of short stories (medium stories? they’re all like 10k+ words lol) all set in my hometown in late 2009/early 2010, and literalising the idea of queer childhood as a kind of haunting. in that queer childhood & the traumas that are often enmeshed w it involve so much fragmentation of time, so many ruptured milestones and unexpected temporal progressions and haunting “happens in a place stained by time” (to quote mark fisher) and run thru the most unexpected places! and i thought i’d play w that!

so all the stories are vaguely temporally/interpersonally interconnected and take place in the same universe/social web but they have different premises: two elementary schooler best friends caught up in an increasingly disturbing game of lunchtime truth or dare accidentally summon the ghost of avril lavigne, though she isn’t dead; a high schooler gets a cashier job at a grocery store that sells discontinued products to nostalgic ghosts; his classmate who just went through a breakup with her kind of-girlfriend discovers that time becomes sticky and she can revisit moments of their relationship when she listens to the right cds; a middle schooler at a hockey tournament does.... Something i’m not quite sure what i’m only on the second story atm! i might post a snippet every now & then to motivate myself, i’m trying to do 1k a day but turns out this is hard when my brain is often melting like a cutting board in the oven

#answered #untitled #HOPE this makes sense likely doesn't xoxo #Anonymous

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sesquipedalian-aficionado · 4 years ago

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Ok so. I have a thought on the Magnus Archives.

I think Jon is going to go through the rift with the fears, or (possibly worse) PART of him will.

Reasons:

The ending of the Magnus Archives seems (from my perspective) to be slanting in a meta direction. The whole “let’s send the fears into other dimensions”? While WE listen (and shudder) to a podcast spreading that fear?? Other people have made this meta concept already, and better than I could do it here.

Jon doesn’t want to leave all the universes receiving the fears to just deal with the same things their universe has been through. His main argument was ‘someday someone is going to do what I did and the apocalypse will happen again’. This is the main reason (I think) why he’s uncomfortable with the plan as it stands. He is clearly willing to sacrifice himself so the apocalypse doesn’t happen again somewhere else.

Jonny Sims, bless his heart, named his main character after himself. This means that all OUR information on the TMA universe is coming from ‘a’ Jon Sims, if not ‘the’ Jon Sims. This could be relevant if they are going in a meta direction.

Based on these points above, I was expecting someone in episode 199 to come to the conclusion ‘let’s send a warning along with the fears, so each universe will get them but also our story, so they can prepare and understand and be better off than us’. I was expecting that to be the bow on everything: we got the fears but Jon also sent through some form of warning through the Jon Sims of the multiverse, so we could be better off than he was. This warning turned into TMA, bing bang boom, nice wrap-up of everything.

But they didn’t. No one got to that suggestion, which means that if I’m picking up correctly on the groundwork that the TMA team has been laying so far, and it’s heading in that direction, then this is going to be either an accident or (again, worse:) a last-minute decision. My next points:

Annabelle said “Jon will lose [...] the parts of him that are The Eye.” Well that’s...concerningly vague. What, of his fear experiences and observations, ISN’T the Eye at this point?? He’s been giving all of those memories and experiences to the Eye since before he even knew that’s what he was doing. More recently, he’s been using his Eye powers to even get those statements in the first place.

Also!! Annabelle talked extensively about how they used his voice, his statements, everything the tape recorders got, to pull open the rift and set this whole thing up! Will all those recordings get sucked in, too? What would that do to Jon?

Annabelle said that Jon post-fears would be alive still, though I believe her exact words were “he will remain as he believes himself to be” which is about as ominous as it gets. Jon’s not coming out of this the same person as he is in ep 199. Some part of him is going out with the fears, but how much of him will they take? He’s given so much of himself to the Eye (coerced, via statements) and the Web (unintentional, via recorders), not to mention the other fears and his experiences with them. What of him, really, is left untouched by that? How deep is that connection?

And finally, my wrap-up point:

The Magnus Archives is a Tragedy.

I’m not sure exactly what that means to Jonny and the TMA team, but here’s the thing: this outcome has a TON of potential for Maximum Pain. This provides chances for the following (the following points are not quite evidence of my theory, but merely predictions on what they could do with this path)

Jon, deciding that he can’t live with himself without at least warning the other universes about the fears, decides at the last minute to throw himself into the mix. (Worst case scenario: he does this in front of a Martin unable to stop him due to preoccupation or incapacitation.)

Jon’s knowledge of the fears, his experiences with them, his own fear? All sucked through the rift. This could be EXTREMELY painful in combination with that thing Martin said in 199 about how they wouldn’t have ever found each other and fallen in love without the Fears and the Archives. Y’all remember Jon at Salesa’s? Not remembering things? Not knowing things? Confusion? Hey guys. Hey guys. What if he forgets everything he went through. He wouldn’t remember caring about Martin. They wouldn’t fit together any more but also - there would be a somewhat detraumatized, living (kind of?) Jon! Happy ending right? Except clearly not? Sounds tragic huh

Alternatively, Jon just dives right in. He’s not a fear, so he gets fractured throughout the multiverse. Each iteration holds just enough memory to write stories and warn their worlds about the fears, without knowing the truth of it or what he left behind. Meanwhile........Martin is left alone in their world. Thanks, I Hate It

Anyway that’s all the big evidence I could think of but here’s a couple points to add on:

Meta Bonus Points: this would be a fantastic, dare I say, web of interconnected hints about meta and touching universes and the origins of the TMA podcast within its own universe.

Jon gave Georgie the lighter. JON GAVE GEORGIE THE LIGHTER. This means that, if he did decide to do this, the Web (who admittedly is pretty against Potential Victims Knowing About Them) might not be able to see or stop him from doing it.

Jon had a goodbye with both Basira and Georgie. This doesn’t bode well for his chances. He didn’t have one with Melanie, but did we really expect one? Their exchange was fitting for both of them. (Or, if you disagree, maybe she’ll say goodbye at the beginning of the next ep).

#my credentials for this? I’m minorly obsessed with stories and I’m good at picking up narrative patterns and predictions #if I’m totally wrong I’m sure the TMA team will make an amazing ending in a different direction #but my STARS this would be exquisite angst and a fantastic plot tie-up to boot #anyway only one week left and I’m terrified #quip has things to say #tma annabelle #the magnus archives podcast #tma jon #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #jonny sims #TMA #tma predictions #tma theory #tma finale #long post #fan theory

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emmalenalouisaellis · 4 years ago

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Dear Diary ~ Reflecting on Personal and Public Scribbles

“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

I preface this by saying this is not a complaint against computers. I have one, and for much of my adult life, I have worked on a computer.

Typing is faster, smoother, and even though it's not foolproof, it has some form of spell-check. Or, since Word isn't always a comprehensive lexicon - something that can be found in a Google search or too - it is much easier to look through than an extensive, cumbersome dictionary. Simply put, having a laptop is the ideal solution for a dyslexic writer like myself who has to sometimes wade through dozens of notebooks and character sheets, plot points and extended drafts to ensure that I can bash out something vaguely resembling a novel.

But, ever since I was a little girl, I have always looked forward to Christmas time. Because amongst the assortment of brightly and delicately wrapped gifts, I find myself with a brand new and unmarked diary. Every time, I feel the crisp, clean pages on my fingers, the soft, secure spine, where the neatly cut ribbon falls in matching or contrasting colours. I take up my favourite pen and write my name, neatly as I can on the front page. This, more than any other present, belongs to me. It will become my secret, my confidant, in a way that still charms me. A perfectly imperfect, personal collection of handwritten scribbles. A permanent memento of me that will still exist despite the ever-growing digital age.

And with the pandemic showing it isn't "over yet", One might think that even here, as I write my thoughts over the internet, such things are archaic and cumbersome. Because as time goes on, more and more of us are clustering around screens to stay connected with loved ones or work colleagues - the world' Zoom'ing by as we are encouraged to remain apart, at home and sensible.

But to me, there still needs to be a balance. We can choose to broadcast everything - some of us do: posting publically to our friends we've met online and face to face through the years - using social media.

As one of my public faces, even my Tumblr has been meticulously polished, written and rewritten in a bid to be 'likeable' or 'relatable'. This is partly because I love receiving comments and recommendations here, and seeing someone gave it a note makes me feel like my words are validated. (For all those that do - old and new: Thank you).

The whole thing is very much a viewing platform and snapshots I feel noteworthy and vital enough to broadcast in many ways. It’s the sitcom of my life and that of others, and all of it plays out from the comfort of our own homes to keep others from worry and concern, all whilst sparking general curiosity. Talking points.

Ida Lupino (c. 1952). Courtesy Film Forum via Photofest

Whereas, in contrast, writing a diary feels more individual. Here I can rant and cry or smile and sigh without judgement and filters, simply recording my own reflections on the page without an audience. And there is something so aesthetically pleasing about it that you can't get from a typed out document. Sometimes there is blood from papercuts, ink splatters where I scribbled too fast, dried tears and smudges from my hand - but all of it is raw, personal and mine.

As someone with learning disabilities, I find it difficult sometimes to open up to others. But my diary is somewhere just for me, and very often, the words flow.

A diary is a beautiful expression of self-love, sometimes loathing by me and for me.

If we choose to share it, it reflects trust and openness, which I suppose is why there are so many cliché moments in teen dramas of girls feeling violated when they have their diary snatched and read by their peers.

But that’s the problem and the wonderful appeal of books: they can quickly transport us to another world.

When I was younger, I was by chance glancing over my Granny’s bookshelves when I found what would become one of my favourite books ‘The Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady' by Edith Holden.

Since its first publication in 1906, the book has charmed many with its beautiful drawings of wild and garden flowers and a hint of charming recordings and recolections in words and paintings the flora and fauna of the British countryside in the four beautiful seasons.

Much like her work - little stories and poems in my own diaries. I fill them with recipes, pressed flowers, autumn leaves and ticket stubs or add poems I’ve also fallen in love with when writer’s block strikes.

When I can, I love to write in fountain pen with flowing blue or green ink, or make more occasional, frantic scribbles in pencil. In contrast to my organised, documents and manuscripts, I am confident there are many spelling mistakes littering the pages. But that’s part of the charm.

And the internet can often help enhance these futher. You only have to go on Pinterest to find beautiful pictures to print out or post in virtual corkboards and scrapbooks. Thanks to the interconnected world wide web, there are plenty of poems I can search for and add into my diaries to compliment my own ideas. For example on the blog by Bella’s Rose Cottage I came across this beautiful little poem:

“The kind of flowers,

I find to be the workhorse of my cottage garden…

the self seeders,

who behave a bit naughty…

the sort of flowers that give the garden

that lived in look,

like the magic of finding a secret garden,

wild around the edges…

flowers to press in the pages of a book,

to remind you of a lazy summers day…

tucked into a little nook to sip quietly…

watch the puppies frolic…

a day to maybe,

use long seedpods of the Toadflax,

as a book mark…

and enjoy a nap…..”

- Bella Rogers

It was so pretty, that it helped inspire me to write this post. Spring is now upon us and with it a chance to reflect and enjoy new beginnings - and opportunities. It’s nearly the weekend and now with renewed inspiration, the words are once more flowing freely from my fingers as the creative itch begins as always with those magical words:

'Dear Diary,'

I wonder what I shall write about today…

Have a beautiful day

x Emmalena

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bewaretheidesofmarchyall · 4 years ago

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To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before AU (Sanders Sides Style)

I have decided that I am going to write a fic from my prompt list!

I was thinking that I would write a To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before AU.

But who was to be the protagonist?

Who is multishipped?

Who is a hopeless romantic?

Who is a total dumbass?

Ah. There’s the protagonist.

But what is his characterization besides the letters?

-Has probably been to many, many ren fairs.

-Seriously. His cosplay game is superb.

-Theater kid disaster trying his best.

-How many trees has this kid fallen out of? How many cliffs? He is great at climbing stuff, and terrible at getting down from them (and generally good at getting into situations and not knowing what to do next).

-Has watched the Princess Bride 500,689 times.

-Not exactly drastically unpopular but a bit too odd to be capital p Popular? Roman is like terms and conditions. Always accepted, but ignored.

-Does he have all the confidence or none of it? Find out at 7.

-Secretly likes the idea of having a crush more than the prospect of an actual relationship.

So, Roman writes letters whenever he falls in love. As in TATBILB fashion, he’s written five so far, all of them hidden away.

But will they ever be [gasp] sent? Take a wild fricking guess.

But whoever would do something so chaotic?

Remus. How could you. Such betrayal.

-Remus is a band kid. Trust me on this one.

-He’s probably on this hellsite.

-Honestly all the Dark Sides would be on the hellsite, whether through emo-ness, wanting to fist fight the government, or just sheer chaotic energy.

-He can always find a way to light something on fire. He doesn’t even have matches. The stuff is just On Fire and no one knows how to stop him.

-You want to hear some serial killer trivia? No? TOO BAD!

-Would just randomly post this picture to the Dark Sides group chat:

Alongside the words, “Ever wondered why people fear geese?”

(Virgil: WHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCK Janus: Well, I can cross “staring death in the eyes and screaming” off of my bucket list.)

-Could win Jeopardy if the theme was “trivia facts that have made the school counselor quit”

-Positive attention, negative attention, hey, people are acknowledging his existence!

But we need more people in this fic. For starters, who have these letters been to?

Introducing, These Poor Fools!

Okay, so Patton isn’t actually one of Roman’s love interests. There hasn’t been any romantic feelings between them since 5th grade. Roman would have trashed the letter by now, but it’s nostalgic and funny at this point.

But they are best friends!

They’re both Terms And Conditions, plus they support each other’s weird hobbies, be it ren fairs or increasingly convulsed plans to break into the local shelters and steal all of the dogs and cats.

Oh, yeah.

-Patton’s grand ambition is to break into the local shelters and steal all of the dogs and cats.

-It’s mostly a joke, but he has the blueprints of every building.

-SWEATERS!!!

-He has been told he’s a great baker. This is because he is too endearing to tell him that he is a terrible baker. In truth, he can make toast. Barely.

-Probably listens to ABBA music.

-WHY DO SPIDERS EXIST??? HE KNOWS THAT HE LOVES ALL ANIMALS IN THEORY, BUT HECKING SPIDERS

-Very, very opinionated, while looking like someone who has no opinions on much of anything.

-Why isn’t there anyone in his life who isn’t having a crisis right now including him? Are all senior years like this, or is his especially chaotic?

-Emile

-Isn’t

-Really

-In

-This

-Fic

-Beyond

-A

-Few

-Mentions

Remy!

-“I couldn’t care less”, he says while getting too invested in the drama.

-”Why can’t you people leave me alone”, he says while trying to discreetly match-make.

-”All of this pointless drama”, he says while making like half of it.

-His sunglasses will remain on his face at all times or the universe explodes.

Logan!

-ACTUALLY didn’t intend to be in the drama

-SERIOUSLY EMOTIONS HAVE RUDELY ENTERED THE BUILDING AND IT’S ALL HE CAN DO TO BEAT THEM BACK WITH A BROOM

-JUST...HIT YOUR EMOTIONS. WITH A BROOM. IT’LL WORK, RIGHT?

-On the debate team and great at it.

-You can Ethos, Logos, Pathos your way into asking someone out. This is going to work!

-BUT WHAT IF IT DOESN’T THERE ARE NO RULES OR JUDGES TO SOCIAL ENCOUNTERS JUST COLD HARD FAILURE

-Almost got a B+ once. The memory haunts him.

-Doesn’t know anyone else in this fic. Everyone else has like vaguely met, or at least know of the other’s existence. But Logan doesn't knows who the hell any of these people are, just that they are screaming messes.

-Sherlock fan. Doctor Who fan. Has probably gone to many a comic con.

-Knows all the words to In The Heights and can probably rap Guns And Ships flawlessly.

And finally, Janus, Roman’s latest crush!

-Also a theater kid disaster

-Is technically the head of the Dark Sides (they won’t be called the dark sides in the fic, of course), but, like...he shouldn’t be in charge of anything?

-He’s the most responsible one out of the friend group, but that’s because that particular bar was laying on the ground. No. Six feet under the ground. So he’s the “responsible one” but compared to a normal human he is not responsible AT ALL.

-”I know what I’m doing!” Narrator voice: He did not, nor will he likely ever know what he’s doing.

-Will physically fight the government if given half a chance

-Is his brain an interconnected web of genius or a broken compter with a post-it note saying, “Give Em’ The Old Razzle-Dazzle” on it? Nobody knows.

-Chicago. It’s memorized. All of Chicago is memorized.

-Slytherin, but in a good way.

-Conspiracy theories galore.

-Plays piano

And there you have it! Everyone Roman sent a letter to!

What’s this?

You’re saying I forgot someone?

I assure you, I did not.

VIRGIL!!!

-What are his thoughts on everything? Well,

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-HE JUST WANTED TO BE LEFT TO THE GLORY OF MCR’S RETURN IN PEACE AND NOW EVERYTHING IS THIS MAMMA MIA HELLSCAPE

-Stupid love pentagons. Stupid high school. Stupid Roman...

-He and Roman are kind of nemeses, but it’s not like he’s Princey’s only nemesis or anything. This guy goes through nemeses like crushes.

-🎶Everything is chaos! Everything is chaos! Everything is chaos and he’s going to scream!🎶

-Panic!, yet nary a disco in sight

-Let’s play the game of, “where can Virgil sit that is not a chair?”

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-He’s fine.

Hopefully this fic will turn out okay, or even just kind of get completed!

Wish me all the luck

Here’s a John Mulaney GIF for the long post:

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #to all the boys i've loved before #long post #writing #fan fiction #headcanon #high school au #roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #emile sanders #remy sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #but which ship will prevail? Find out next time on: my fan fic ideas

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russellacali · 4 years ago

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What is Empowerment Technologies?

This blog, Empowerment Technologies, is an insight into what I have learned on our lessons about Empowerment Technologies: ICT for Professional Tracks, for 11th grade, under the teaching of Miss Shaira Denise Dela Cruz. The goal of this blog is to promote ICT and give you some insight into ICT

The first lesson that was discussed was, what is ICT? ICT is the abbreviation for Information and Communication Technologies. It refers to technologies that provide access to information through telecommunications such as mobile phones, wireless networks, telephones, and other communication mediums. The current state of ICT is WWW or World Wide Web.

The World Wide Web(WWW), commonly known as the Web, is an information system where documents and other web resources are identified by Uniform Resource Locators, which may be interlinked by hypertext, and are accessible over the Internet. It has three versions which are Web 1.0, Web 2.0, and Web 3.0. Web 1.0 is the first version and most web pages were static or “read-only web.”

The second and most used is Web 2.0, which allows users to interact and contribute with the page instead of just reading a page, the users are able to create a user account. Web 2.0 offers us five features: Folksonomy, Rich User Experience, Long Tail, User Participation, and software as a service.

The last is Web 3.0. Its aim is to have machines understand the user’s preference to be able to deliver web content specifically targeting the user. Web 3.0 hasn’t released yet as it still has some problems. Those problems are compatibility, security, vastness, vagueness, and logic.

Moving on to the next lesson which is all about ‘Online Saftey, security, ethics, and etiquette.’

The Internet consists of tens of thousands of interconnected networks run by service providers, individual companies, universities, and governments. It is defined as an information highway, which means anyone can access any information through the internet. That is why the internet is one of the most dangerous places, the reason why it is important how to keep yourself and your personal information safe. Some of the information that is in rick when spoiled on the internet are names of your immediate family, address, phone or home number, birthday, email address, your full name, and your previous and current school. It is important to keep this information top secret as cyber-creeps can use these to find you.

To keep yourself safe:

Be mindful of what you share online.

Do not just accept terms and conditions, read it.

Keep your passwords to yourself, and make sure your password is long, strong, and unique.

Do not talk or meet up with someone you don’t know.

Never post anything about a future vacation. This can signal some robbers about which date they can come and rob your house. It is better to post about your vacation when you got home already.

Add friends you know in real life, don’t accept someone you barely know or met.

Avoid visiting or downloading anything from an untrusted website, make sure to check the icon beside the search box. *picture* According to DigiCert Blog, “How to Know if a Website is Secure?”, Look at the URL of the website. If it begins with “https” instead of “http” it means the site is secured using an SSL certificate (the s stands for secure). SSL certificates secure all of your data as it is passed from your browser to the website’s server.

Make your home wifi private by adding a password.

Make sure to install and update antivirus software on your computer.

Do not reply or check links from suspicious emails as it can lead you to an untrusted site and can hack your laptop or social media.

To give you more information, here are some of the internet threats that we need to be aware of and try to avoid:

The Malware, stands for malicious software. It includes virus, worm, trojan, spyware, adware, and ransomware. The virus is the most common malware. It is a malicious program designed to replicate itself and transfer from one computer to another (internet, local networks, FDs, CDs,etc.). Worms is a standalone piece of malicious software that reproduces itself and spreads from computer to computer. The trojan is a malicious program that disguises as a useful program but once downloaded or installed, leaves your PC unprotected and allows hackers to get your information. Spyware is defined by Webroot Cybersecurity as "malware used for the purpose of secretly gathering data on an unsuspecting user." It is a program that runs in the background and spies your behavior as you are on your computer. Adware is malware that forces your browser to redirect to web advertisements, which often themselves seek to download further, even more, malicious software. Lastly, Ransomware, also known as scareware. This is a type of malicious software from cryptovirology that threatens to publish the victim’s data or perpetually block access to it unless a ransom is paid.

The Spam, this is any kind of unwanted, unsolicited digital communication, often an email, that gets sent out in bulk.

The Phishing, is a cybercrime in which a target/s are contacted by someone posing as a legitimate institution to lure individuals into providing sensitive data such as personally identifiable information, banking and credit card details, and passwords.

Lastly, before we move to the next lesson it is important to know ‘The Core Rules of Netiquette’ are excerpted from the book Netiquette by Virginia Shea.

First, Remember the Human.When communicating online, practice the Golden rule: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Remember that your written works or messages are read by real people, therefore you should ask yourself, "Would I be okay with this if someone else had written it?" before sending it.

Second, Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life. It is a must that your best to act within the laws and ethical manners of society whenever you inhabit "cyberspace." Standards of behavior may be different in some areas of cyberspace, but they are not lower than in real life. Be ethical. Don't believe anyone who says, "The only ethics out there are what you can get away with."

Third, Know where you are in cyberspace. What's perfectly acceptable in one area may be dreadfully rude in another. And because Netiquette is different in different places, it's important to know where you are. Thus the next corollary: Lurk before you leap.

Fourth, Respect other people’s time and bandwidth. Online communication takes time: time to read and time in which to respond. Most people today lead busy lives, just like you do, and don't have time to read or respond to frivolous emails or discussion posts. It's your responsibility to ensure that the time they spend reading your posting isn't wasted.

Fifth, Make yourself look good online. One of the best things about the virtual world is the lack of judgment associated with your physical appearance, the sound of your voice, or the clothes you wear. However, you will be judged by the quality of your writing so keep in mind the following tips: (1)Always check for spelling and grammar errors, (2) Know what you're talking about and state it clearly

Sixth, Share expert knowledge. The reason for asking questions online works is that a lot of knowledgeable people are reading the questions. And if even a few of them offer intelligent answers, the sum total of world knowledge increases. The Internet itself was founded and grew because scientists wanted to share information. Gradually, the rest of us got in on the act. So do your part. Despite the long lists of no-no's in this book, you do have something to offer. Don't be afraid to share what you know.

Seventh, Help keep flame wars under control. "Flaming" is what people do when they express a strongly held opinion without holding back any emotion.g. While "flaming" is not necessarily forbidden in virtual communication, "flame wars," when two or three people exchange angry posts between one another, must be controlled or the camaraderie of the group could be compromised. Don't feed the flames; extinguish them by guiding the discussion back to a more productive direction.

Eighth, Respect other people’s privacy. Depending on what you are reading in the virtual world, be it an online class discussion forum, Facebook page, or an email, you may be exposed to some private or personal information that needs to be handled with care. Thus, Just as you expect others to respect your privacy, so should you respect the privacy of others. Be sure to err on the side of caution when deciding to discuss or not to discuss virtual communication.

Ninth, Don’t abuse your power. Some people in cyberspace have more power than others. There are wizards in MUDs (multi-user dungeons), experts in every office, and system administrators in every system. Knowing more than others, or having more power than they do, does not give you the right to take advantage of them. For example, sysadmins should never read private emails.

Tenth, Be forgiving of other people’s mistakes. Everyone was a network newbie once. So when someone makes a mistake, whether it's a spelling error or a spelling flame, a stupid question or an unnecessarily long answer, be kind about it. If you do decide to inform someone of a mistake, point it out politely, and preferably by private email rather than in public. Give people the benefit of the doubt; assume they just don't know any better.

The last lesson that was taught to us is ‘Advanced Word Processing Skill’. This lesson focuses on the software word processor the ‘Microsoft Word.’

A Word Processor is an electronic device or computer software application that performs the task of composing, editing, formatting, and printing of documents.

Microsoft Word is a word processor developed by Microsoft and the first released on October 25, 1983. Microsoft Word has features and functions which are not mostly known by others. These are the Auto-Correct, Grammar Checker, Read Aloud, Template, Thesaurus, Mail Merge, and Text Wrap.

Advance Features of Microsoft Word are discussed. Beginning with the kinds of Materials we can have in Microsoft Word.

The first is Pictures. Generally, these are electronic or digital pictures or photographs you have saved on any local storage device. There are three file formats that pictures have which are JPEG or Joint Photographic Expert Group, this can support 16.7 million colors so that it is suitable for use when working with full-color photographic images, GIF or Graphics Interchange Format, this is used for computer-generated images that support animation, can only support up to 256 colors., lastly, PNG or Portable Network Graphics, this is similar to GIF except it has smaller file size but does not support animation, it can display up to 16 million colors and allows the control of the transparency level or opacity of images.

The second material is Clip Art. This is generally a GIF type; line art drawings or images used as a generic representation for ideas and objects that you might want to integrate into your document.

The third is Shapes. These are printable objects or materials that you can integrate in your document to enhance its appearance or to allow you to have some tools to use for composing and representing ideas or messages. The fourth is Smart Art. Generally, these are predefined sets of different shapes grouped together to form ideas that are organizational or structural in nature.

The fifth is Chart. Another type of material that you can integrate into your Word document that allows you to represent data characteristics and trends.

The sixth is Screenshot. Sometimes, creating reports or manuals for training or procedure will require the integration of a more realistic image of what you are discussing on your report or manual.

Moving on to the most focused part of the lesson which is the Mail Merge. Mail Merge is a useful tool that allows you to produce multiple letters, labels, envelopes, name tags, and more using information stored in a list, database, or spreadsheet. When these two documents are combined (merged), each document includes the individual names and addresses you need to send it to. The two components of Mail Merge are the Form Document, this contains the main body of the message we want to convey or send., and the List or Data File, This is where the individual information or data that needs to be plugged in (merged) to our form document is placed and maintained.

It was demonstrated to us, how to use and make mail merge, and here’s mine:

Before ending this blog, I would like to show you some of my modules for the subject Empowerment Technologies(ETech): ICT for Professional Track.

First, the open forum about the “How can you promote Netiquette?”

Second, an assignment about “Cyberspace: Share an experience that you have always tend to do but later did you discover that it is not a standard of ONLINE SAFETY, SECURITY, ETHICS, AND ETIQUETTE. “

Third, another open forum about “What is the importance of Microsoft office in your education?”

Lastly is another assignment, making an Infographic: Promoting your specific track/strand. My infographic is a promotion of my strand, STEM or Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics.

Hope you learn a lot from this blog as I learn a lot from my subject teacher for Empowerment Technologies(ETech): ICT for Professional Track.

Let this day be filled with success in all the ventures you make today. Have a great day!

Photo Credits:

https://curatti.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/WWW-Image-1.jpg

https://go4customer.com/articleimages/1581925569Safety_Internet_Day.png

https://futureofsourcing.com/sites/default/files/articles/internet_attacks.jpg

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fc/37/e1/fc37e162244d19115d88ab58e07ccc2b.png

https://cdn.guidingtech.com/imager/assets/2019/05/226896/Image-Best-Microsoft-Word-Online-Tips-and-Tricks 2_4d470f76dc99e18ad75087b1b8410ea9.png?1558678050

#ICT Performance_Task

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tlbodine · 5 years ago

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Self-Talk

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_monologue

It has recently come to my attention that there are a lot of people out there who don’t think in words but rather in images, numbers, abstract sensations, etc. Obviously I knew this was the case for some folks, but I always kind of assumed that inner speech was the “common” or “default” for neurotypicals and I’m sort of shocked to discover that apparently it’s not? Like different things I’ve been reading today suggest that it’s more of a 50/50 split or even 40/60 in favor of images.

This blows my mind.

I am super deeply curious what in the world the inside of other people’s brains are like! So please! PLEASE! Come here and tell me all about what goes on inside your head and what the shape of your thoughts are and how you engage with life on a day-by-day!

For me, personally...well! Rambling under the cut! Brains are neat!

First off, there is always a song playing in there somewhere. I think most people get earworms, but I’m not sure if they’re constant? For me they are. I can sometimes change the song, a little bit like a jukebox, but it’s always there. Right now it’s “Home for the Holidays” for some reason I cannot begin to fathom. I can shut up the song in my head by playing actual music out loud, which is one reason why I prefer to work with music.

I have inner speech running ALL the time. I also sub-vocalize when I read (ie, read each word aloud in my brain). The voice I read in is the same as the voice I think in. That voice doesn’t exactly sound like my real voice when I speak aloud. But that voice is “me.” That’s the “me” part of my brain. The “me” part of my brain is always talking. It’s usually delivering a lecture of some sort -- a lot of my thoughts sound exactly like Tumblr posts or articles. If it’s not lecturing, it’s instructing in some way, like it’s verbally giving orders or directing my meat-vessel to do various things. I think through to-do lists and plans a lot. I give a lot of internal commentary to the things I experience.

The “me” voice always speaks as though it has an audience even though it’s just in my head. (When I was a child, I often imagined myself as the host of an educational TV show, delivering my thoughts to the audience. As an adult, well, the internet exists, so I don’t have to pretend, I can just word-spew at you folks. You’re welcome?)

I can visualize things, and am actually pretty good at it. Like, I can look at an object and sort of turn it around in my brain to see what it would look like from different angles (like, I could match a puzzle piece with an empty space by looking at it, even if it was upside down). But the images are rarely more than flashes unless I put a LOT of effort into concentrating and imagining them. Like if you tell me to imagine an elephant, I’ll see it in my brain in a series of glimpses that all kind of piece together to illustrate the concept of “elephant.” I can’t hold the whole image in my brain at the same time without concentrating VERY hard.

Oddly, obtrusive thoughts are always images.

They show up out of nowhere, unbidden and very vivid. If the “me” voice is quiet, the images are more likely to rise up. This is probably why I keep that internal chatter and song running 24/7 -- a sort of defense against the image-part of my brain that does things I can’t control. I have mental compulsions where I have to consciously think certain things in order to drown out the other thing.

Sometimes OCD brain also serves up doubts. The doubt is not an image or a thought in words, it’s just a sort of feeling or sensation that questions whatever “me” brain is saying. Kind of like how when you’re talking to someone and you can see from their expression that they’re skeptical even though they don’t say anything? When the doubts happen, “me” brain starts trying harder to justify itself, thinking around in circles. That’s when I get worked up and basically gas-light myself. When this happens I call it “getting too deep in my own head.”

Sometimes the doubts come in the form of OTHER people’s voices, and “me” brain argues with them. Sometimes that gets very upsetting because it feels exactly like actually arguing with them, and it’s very easy to forget that the version of people that lives in my brain is not, in fact, the real person. (More often than not, the person I argue with in my brain is my mother. But sometimes it’s my husband, my boss, random people on social media, etc.)

Curiously, ideas come as images, from the same place as the obtrusive thoughts. They just show up. While this is happening, I am usually vaguely aware of a background process where some part of my brain is cross-referencing and connecting things. It spots patterns and generates metaphors. I don’t think them up with “me” brain, they just sort of bubble up and I translate them into words. This is an almost-physical sensation. I can sort of guide the process into happening, but I don’t really control it.

In practice, this means that ideas (like for stories) show up as very brief flashes of image + a sort of ephemeral web of feeling and interconnected ideas. There is the feeling that this is a brief glimpse at something that exists whole and finished and fully realized....somewhere else, in some place I can’t access. The whole process of writing is exploring the idea, visualizing it, and then translating it into words. It is EXHAUSTING until I can manage to slip into flow and cut out all the conscious thought processes between brain and keyboard.

This is also why I can’t outline. Outlines are created by that talking, thinking, “me” brain. Those stories aren’t good. The good ones are the ones that bubble up from wherever the pictures come from.

....huh. I just learned a bunch of stuff about myself in the process of thinking that though. That’s kinda neat.

How bout you though? How does YOUR brain work?

#psychology #brains are weird #actually OCD #thinking about this is wild #I'd love for the voice in my head to stfu #but I'm also scared of what happens when it does #hmm

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androgynous-barbie · 1 year ago

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(saw this late so sorry) that is literally EXACTLY what happened with Universal. They were totally on board until he said ‘and then she begins to fall for him’ 😂😂😂😂😂😂

without giving spoilers, there’s actually a plan GDT came up with that made it into the NEW haunted mansion’s final product and I hope he’s being compensated for that at least. Funny enough to me it sounded dumb as hell when GDT proposed it cuz it sounded like it made no sense but if what made it into the movie is what he meant it makes perfect sense and was executed wonderfully nope. too vague. spoilers under the cut if you care (kinda minor tho... kinda)

Del Toro’s plan was to have The Hatbox Ghost be ‘in the center of a web of interconnected haunted mansions’.... like.......... huh? like he’s the common link of a bunch of haunted mansions/houses? based on different versions of Disney Park spooky rides? (would he be able to just leave gracey manor and go to Ravenswood manor? mystic manor too? tokyo?) in the movie we DID get, the hatbox ghost in life owned his own mansion that resembles the Florida version and then later purchased Gracey Manor

so even tho Crump Manor (the florida-resembling one) isn’t huanted like gracey is.... the link is still there.... yeah?

(and also since the idea was executed so well, it goes to show that even when IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII doubt a plan of his, it eventually comes out perfect so SERIOUSLY studio execs, LET THE MAN HAVE HIS WAY. it benefits EVERYONE)

but yeah the web thing and ryan gosling as hattie were all we knew of his plans. i doubt there would’ve been gore and even impliiiiiied incest (but i could be wrong, who knows what he hoped he could get away with? haha) but like....... i just know in my heart that hatchets and axes would have been swung and thrown probably with reckless abandon and im DAMN sure there wouldve been a long haired, white dressed, candelabra wielding maiden in a flowy dress 😂😂😂😂

This may be a hot take, but I consider Crimson Peak (2015) a *very* unofficial Haunted Mansion adaptation. It's by Guillermo del Toro, involves a haunted mansion infested with ghosts and twisted family history (including both variations on a murdering bride AND the Bluebeard myth), has a "corridor of doors" scene...and even has a cameo from actual Haunted Mansion wallpaper! (It's the foyer pattern, not the eyes, but still, that HAS to be deliberate!)

#maybe a hide and seek-esque killer family or pair of sibs

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martenantonwolters · 4 years ago

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10 RULES FOR LIFE Realize that nobody cares, and if they do, you shouldn't care that they care. Got a new car? Nobody cares. You'll get some gawkers for a couple of weeks—they don't care. They're curious. Three weeks in it'll be just another shiny blob among all the thousands of others crawling down the freeway and sitting in garages and driveways up and down your street. People will care about your car just as much as you care about all of those. Got a new gewgaw? New wardrobe? Went to a swanky restaurant? Exotic vacation? Nobody cares. Don't base your happiness on people caring, because they won't. And if they do, they either want your stuff or hate you for it.

Some rulebreakers will break rule number one. Occasionally, people in your life will defy the odds and actually care about you. Still not your stuff, sorry. But if they value you, they'll value that you value it, and they'll listen. When you talk about all of those things that nobody else cares about, they will look into your eyes and consume your words, and in that moment you will know that every part of them is there with you.

Spend your life with rulebreakers. Marry them. Befriend them. Work with them. Spend weekends with them. No matter how much power you become possessed of, you'll never be able to make someone care—so gather close the caring.

Money is cheap. I mean, there's a lot of it—about forty thousand billion dollars floating around the world, largely made up of cash whose value is made up and ascribed to it, anyway. Don't engineer your life around getting a slightly less tiny portion of this pile, and make your spirit of generosity reflect this principle. I knew a man who became driven by the desire to amass six figures in savings, so he worked and scrimped and sacrificed to get there. And he did... right before he died of cancer. I'm sure his wife's new husband appreciated his diligence.

Money is expensive. I mean, it's difficult to get your hands on sometimes—and you never know when someone's going to pull the floorboards out from under you—so don't be stupid with it. Avoid debt on depreciating assets, and never incur debt in order to assuage your vanity (see rule number one). Debt has become normative, but don't blithely accept it as a rite of passage into adulthood—debt represents imbalance and, in some sense, often a resignation of control. Student loan debt isn't always unavoidable, but it isn't a given—my wife and I completed a combined ten years of college with zero debt between us. If you can't avoid it, though, make sure that your degree is an investment rather than a liability—I mourn a bit for all of the people going tens of thousands of dollars in debt in pursuit of vague liberal arts degrees with no idea of what they want out of life. If you're just dropping tuition dollars for lack of a better idea at the moment, just withdraw and go wander around Europe for a few weeks—I guarantee you'll spend less and learn more in the process.

Learn the ancient art of rhetoric. The elements of rhetoric, in all of their forms, are what make the world go around—because they are what prompt the decisions people make. If you develop an understanding of how they work, while everyone else is frightened by flames and booming voices, you will be able to see behind veils of communication and see what levers little men are pulling. Not only will you develop immunity from all manner of commercials, marketing, hucksters and salesmen, to the beautiful speeches of liars and thieves, you'll also find yourself able to craft your speech in ways that influence people. When you know how to speak in order to change someone's mind, to instill confidence in someone, to quiet the fears of a child, then you will know this power firsthand. However, bear in mind as you use it that your opponent in any debate is not the other person, but ignorance.

You are responsible to everyone, but you're responsible for yourself. I believe we're responsible to everyone for something, even if it's something as basic as an affirmation of their humanity. However, it should most often go far beyond that and manifest itself in service to others, to being a voice for the voiceless. If you're reading this, there are those around you who toil under burdens larger than yours, who stand in need of touch and respect and chances. Conversely, though, you're responsible for yourself. Nobody else is going to find success for you, and nobody else is going to instill happiness into you from the outside. That's on you.

Learn to see reality in terms of systems. When you understand the world around you as a massive web of interconnected, largely interdependent systems, things get much less mystifying—and the less we either ascribe to magic or allow to exist behind a fog, the less susceptible we'll be to all manner of being taken advantage of. However:

Account for the threat of black swan events. Sometimes chaos consumes the most meticulous of plans, and if you live life with no margins in a financial, emotional, or any other sense, you will be subject to its whims. Take risks, but backstop them with something—I strongly suspect these people who say having a Plan B is a sign of weak commitment aren't living hand to mouth. Do what you need to in order to keep your footing.

You both need and don't need other people. You need others in a sense that you need to be part of a community—there's a reason we reflexively pity hermits. Regardless of your theory of anthropogenesis, it's hard to deny that we are built for community, and that 'we' is always more than 'me.' However, you don't need another person in order for your life to have meaning—this idea that Disney has shoved through our eyeballs, that there's someone out there for all of us if we'll just believe hard enough and never stop searching, is hokum... because of arithmetic, if nothing else. Establish your own life—then, if there's a particular person that you can't help but integrate, believe me, you'll know.

Always give more than is required of you.

#rules for life #lifehack #life advice #text #self care #self help

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christiancomputerstudent · 6 years ago

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Tim Berners-Lee on 30 years of the world wide web: 'We can get the web we want' //cool article, Tim Berners-Lee father of the world wide web talks about his creation

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/mar/12/tim-berners-lee-on-30-years-of-the-web-if-we-dream-a-little-we-can-get-the-web-we-want

”What started out as an idea for a way scientists could share information went on to change the world. Three decades later, its founder reflects on his creation

Thirty years ago, Tim Berners-Lee, then a fellow at the physics research laboratory Cern on the French-Swiss border, sent his boss a document labelled Information Management: A Proposal. The memo suggested a system with which physicists at the centre could share “general information about accelerators and experiments”.

“Many of the discussions of the future at Cern and the LHC era end with the question: ‘Yes, but how will we ever keep track of such a large project?’” wrote Berners-Lee. “This proposal provides an answer to such questions.”

His solution was a system called, initially, Mesh. It would combine a nascent field of technology called hypertext that allowed for human-readable documents to be linked together, with a distributed architecture that would see those documents stored on multiple servers, controlled by different people, and interconnected.

It didn’t really go anywhere. Berners-Lee’s boss, Mike Sendall, took the memo and jotted down a note on top: “Vague but exciting …” But that was it. It took another year, until 1990, for Berners-Lee to start actually writing code. In that time, the project had taken on a new name. Berners-Lee now called it the World Wide Web.

Thirty years on, and Berners-Lee’s invention has more than justified the lofty goals implied by its name. But with that scale has come a host of troubles, ones that he could never have predicted when he was building a system for sharing data about physics experiments.

Some are simple enough. “Every time I hear that somebody has managed to acquire the [domain] name of their new enterprise for $50,000 (£38,500) instead of $500, I sigh, and feel that money’s not going to a good cause,” Berners-Lee tells me when we speak on the eve of the anniversary.

It is a minor regret, but one he has had for years about the way he decided to “bootstrap” the web up to something that could handle a lot of users very quickly: by building on the pre-existing service for assigning internet addresses, the domain name system (DNS), he gave up the chance to build something better. “You wanted a name for your website, you’d go and ask [American computer scientist] Jon Postel, you know, back in the day, and he would give you a name.

“At the time that seemed like a good idea, but it relied on it being managed benevolently.” Today, that benevolent management is no longer something that can be assumed. “There are plenty of domain names to go around, but the way people have invested, in buying up domains that they think entrepreneurs or organisations will use – even trying to build AI that would guess what names people will want for their organisations, grabbing the domain name and then selling it to them for a ridiculous amount of money – that’s a breakage.”

It sounds minor, but the problems with DNS can stand in for a whole host of difficulties the web has faced as it has grown. A quick fix, built to let something scale up rapidly, that turns out to provide perverse incentives once it is used by millions of people and is so embedded that it is nearly impossible to change course.

But nearly impossible is not actually impossible. That is the thrust of the message Berners-Lee is aiming to spread. Every year, on the anniversary of his creation, he publishes an open letter on his vision for the future of the web. This year’s letter, given the importance of the anniversary, is broader in scope than most – and expresses a rare level of concern about the direction in which the web is moving.

“While the web has created opportunity, given marginalised groups a voice and made our daily lives easier,” he writes, “it has also created opportunity for scammers, given a voice to those who spread hatred and made all kinds of crime easier to commit.

“It’s understandable that many people feel afraid and unsure if the web is really a force for good. But given how much the web has changed in the past 30 years, it would be defeatist and unimaginative to assume that the web as we know it can’t be changed for the better in the next 30. If we give up on building a better web now, then the web will not have failed us. We will have failed the web.”

Berners-Lee breaks down the problems the web now faces into three categories. The first is what occupies most of the column inches in the press, but is the least intrinsic to the technology itself: “deliberate, malicious intent, such as state-sponsored hacking and attacks, criminal behaviour and online harassment”.

He believes this makes the system fragile. “It’s amazing how clever people can be, but when you build a new system it is very, very hard to imagine the ways in which it can be attacked.”

At the same time, while criminal intentions may be the scariest for many, they aren’t new to the web. They are “impossible to eradicate completely”, he writes, but can be controlled with “both laws and code to minimise this behaviour, just as we have always done offline”.

More concerning are the other two sources of dysfunction affecting the web. The second is when a system built on top of Berners-Lee’s creation introduces “perverse incentives” that encourage others to sacrifice users’ interests, “such as ad-based revenue models that commercially reward clickbait and the viral spread of misinformation”. And the third is more diffuse still: those systems and services that, thoughtfully and benevolently created, still result in negative outcomes, “such as the outraged and polarised tone and quality of online discourse”.

The problem is that it is hard to tell what the outcomes of a system you build are going to be. “Given there are more webpages than there are neurons in your brain, it’s a complicated thing. You build Reddit, and people on it behave in a particular way. For a while they all behave in a very positive, constructive way. And then you find a subreddit in which they behave in a nasty way.

“Or, for example, when you build a system such as Twitter, it becomes wildly, wildly effective. And when the ‘Arab Spring’ – I will never say that without the quotes – happens, you’re tempted to claim that Twitter is a great force for good because it allowed people to react against the oppressive regime.

“But then pretty soon people are contacting you about cyberbullying and saying their lives are miserable on Twitter because of the way that works. And then another few iterations of the Earth going around the sun, and you find that the oppressive regimes are using social networks in order to spy on and crack down on dissidents before the dissidents could even get round to organising.”

In conclusion, he says, “You can’t generalise. You can’t say, you know, social networks tend to be bad, tend to be nasty.”

For a creation entering its fourth decade, we still know remarkably little about how the web works. The technical details, sure: they are all laid out there, in that initial document presented to Cern, and in the many updates that Berners-Lee, and the World Wide Web Consortium he founded to succeed him, have approved.

But the social dynamics built on top of that technical underpinning are changing so rapidly and are so unstable that every year we need to reassess its legacy. “Are we now in a stable position where we can look back and decide this is the legacy of the web? Nooooope,” he says, with a chuckle. Which means we are running a never-ending race, trying to work out the effects of new platforms and systems even as competitors launch their eventual replacements.

Berners-Lee’s solution is radical: a sort of refoundation of the web, creating a fresh set of rules, both legal and technical, to unite the world behind a process that can avoid some of the missteps of the past 30 years.

Calling it the “contract for the web”, he first suggested it last November at the Web Summit in Lisbon. “At pivotal moments,” he says, “generations before us have stepped up to work together for a better future. With the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, diverse groups of people have been able to agree on essential principles. With the Law of Sea and the Outer Space Treaty, we have preserved new frontiers for the common good. Now too, as the web reshapes our world, we have a responsibility to make sure it is recognised as a human right and built for the public good.”

This is a push for legislation, yes. “Governments must translate laws and regulations for the digital age. They must ensure markets remain competitive, innovative and open. And they have a responsibility to protect people’s rights and freedoms online.”

But it is equally important, he says, for companies to join in and for the big tech firms to do more to ensure their pursuit of short-term profit is not at the expense of human rights, democracy, scientific fact or public safety. “This year, we’ve seen a number of tech employees stand up and demand better business practices. We need to encourage that spirit.”

But even if we could fix the web, might it be too late for that to fix the world? Berners-Lee’s invention has waxed and waned in its role in the wider digital society. For years, the web was the internet, with only a tiny portion of hardcore nerds doing anything online that wasn’t mediated through a webpage.

But in the past decade, that trend has reversed: the rise of the app economy fundamentally bypasses the web, and all the principles associated with it, of openness, interoperability and ease of access. In theory, any webpage should be accessible from any device with a web browser, be that an iPhone, a Windows PC or an internet-enabled fridge. The same is not true for content and services locked inside apps, where the distributor has absolute power over where and how users can interact with their platforms.

In fact, the day before I speak to Berners-Lee, Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg published his own letter on the future of the internet, describing his goal of reshaping Facebook into a “privacy-focused social network”. It had a radically different set of aims: pulling users into a fundamentally closed network, where not only can you only get in touch with Facebook users from other Facebook products, but even the very idea of accessing core swathes of Facebook’s platform from a web browser was deprioritised, in favour of the extreme privacy provided by universal end-to-end encryption.

For Berners-Lee, these shifts are concerning, but represent the strengths as well as the weaknesses of his creation. “The crucial thing is the URL. The crucial thing is that you can link to anything.

“The web platform [the bundle of technologies that underpin the web] is always, at every moment, getting more and more powerful. The good news is that because the web platform is so powerful, a lot of the apps which are actually built, are built using the web platform and then cranked out using the various frameworks which allow you to generate an app or something from it.” All the installable applications that run on smartphones and tablets work in this way, with the app acting as little more than a wrapper for a web page.

“So there’s web technology inside, but what we’re saying is if, from the user’s point of view, there’s no URL, then we’ve lost.”

In some cases, that battle really has been lost. Apple runs an entire media operation inside its app store that can’t be read in normal browsers, and has a news app that spits out links that do not open if Apple News has been uninstalled.

But in many more, the same viral mechanics that allow platforms to grow to a scale that allow them to consider breaking from the web ultimately keep them tied to the openness that the platform embodies. Facebook posts still have permanent links buried in the system, as do tweets and Instagrams. Even the hot new thing, viral video app TikTok, lets users send URLs to each other: how else to encourage new users to hop on board?

It may be too glib to say, as the early Netscape executive Ram Shriram once did, that “open always wins out” – tech is littered with examples where a closed technology was the ultimate victor – but the web’s greatest strength over the past 30 years has always been the ability of anyone to build anything on top of it, without needing permission from Berners-Lee or anyone else.

But for that freedom to stick around for another 30 years – long enough to get the 50% of the world that isn’t online connected, long enough to see the next generation of startups grow to maturity – it requires others to join Berners-Lee in the fight. “The web is for everyone,” he says, “and collectively we hold the power to change it. It won’t be easy. But if we dream a little and work a lot, we can get the web we want”

#technology #internet #world wide web

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