#and then octavia burns the farm down and she picks back up. she gets back to work.

[lingeringscars]

The thing with harper is that...she's a good soldier. She'll do what needs to be done, and she won't complain. She'll do what she can and do her duty to help as many people as she can. But if given the choice between duty and peace, she will choose peace. She will choose to grasp at the moments where she can live in that peace, comfort, and safety for just a little while longer.

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

Banished (Part 47)

~Banished Master~

Paring: Bellamy Blake x Reader

Word Count: 11K (heh... how long does this take y’all to read, I stg)

~Master~

*Based off episode 4x02 of the 100, Heavy lies the Crown*

Bold Italics are Trig

Previously...

As for Praimfaya, its already making its way across the globe. A couple, man and woman crossing the desert in Europe, found it out the hard way. Their bodies were covered in burns, as they tried to find sanctuary. The man collapsed, his partner falling with him as she panted, trying to get him to respond to her but he wouldn’t answer. She let out a sob, barely able to make a sound from her dried throat. At an odd sound, she pulled herself up, trudging atop a sand dune to look upon pyramids.

But along with the structures a wave of radiation came upon her. She let out a scream as the radiation took her over, her skin burning off as she fell to her knees and her body was swept away.

6 months, starting now.

ALIE’s chip had made its way from Polis before you managed to destroy her. One victim, Ilian, living with his family on a farm, introduced a new level of pain to his family. He wasn’t in control of himself, ALIE in his head and working him like another one of her puppets. His mother sat tied, tired and bleeding against the sheep’s corral, her arms drawn apart like she was on a cross. Her ragged breathing was worsened as she looked up to Ilian approaching her.

She tried to speak. “Demon…” She muttered as her voice tore through her throat. “Where’s my son?”

Ilian paid no mind to her question as he held out a chip for her, barely a smile on his face to offer comfort. “Take it mother.” The woman’s cried out as Ilian pulled the chip away and kept it in his fist. He left his mother, heading to a boy, his brother, kneeling as his mind explored the City of Light. Ilian’s mother begged him, pleading for him to spare the life of his brother, but ALIE wouldn’t allow it. A knife was pressed to the boy’s throat by Ilian’s hand. “I’ll stop when you take the key.”

ALIE stood next to him, watching the scene carefully. “Do it. She’ll break.” Without another plead, Ilian cut his brother’s throat, gasps for air and one last breath came from the brother before he fell to the ground.

His mother cried out for the loss of her family. “He’s with father in the City of Light.” Ilian assured her as she looked to her husband, his life taken just minutes ago much like his sons had. “Take it mother.”

Another refusal.

ALIE had one last trick up her AI sleeve. “Put the knife to your own throat.” Ilian followed her instructions, his mother starting to thrash about as she begged for Ilian to lower the knife. Just before ALIE was to tell Ilian to slice his throat, she was distracted. “Y/N. Don’t.” She flickered away, leaving Ilian standing there, waiting for a command. The moments passed, his face stoic as his mother tried to get him to come back.

“You don’t ease pain. You overcome it. And we always will.” Without a moment’s hesitation, you grabbed the kill switch, pulling it and ending it all. No more ALIE.

Ilian let out a gasp as the knife was pulled from his throat, his heart racing at the thought of what might’ve happened. He looked down at the blade, his brother and fathers blood stained the metal as he looked to his mother, her head falling to the side as he rushed over.

“Mother!” He yelled and used the knife to cut her bonds. Her eyelids felt heavy, too much of her strength been used for sobbing and she barely had any left to live. “Help!” Ilian screamed. ���Help!” He’s screams were for naught as the only ones around were his family, his brother and father both lying dead in their field and his mother joining them slowly.

“Ilian.” His mother mumbled, placing a hand on his cheek to pull his face to look down. “Avenge me.”

Ilian cried as his mother took her last breath and he pulled her into his chest, kissing her forehead as tears fell down his face. He tried to hold himself, losing his entire family broke him and he let it out, his scream ringing through the air as he clutched the useless key, vowing revenge on those who brought the City of Light to them: Skaikru.

In Polis, a week after ALIE’s demise, Kane and Abby were enjoying the simple things. They laid in bed together, post coital bliss etched on their faces as they panted.

“You are a terrible influence.” Abby whispered to Kane, moving her head to look at the man next to her. She rolled on top of him, her fingers tracing over his bare chest. “Roan is expecting me.” Kane nodded and Abby kissed him before grabbing her shirt and throwing it on. He watched with a smile as a different form of happiness than he felt 5 minutes ago took over his body. Abby removed her wedding ring from where she placed it for safe keeping, hesitating while holding the band that tied her to her deceased husband.

“Abby.” Kane whispered, putting his arms around her shoulders. She leaned back against his body. “Jake is a part of you.” He reminded her, taking the necklace from her hands and putting it back around her neck where it belonged. They smiled at each other, Abby leaning over to give him one last kiss before she had to leave. “Go. The King’s waiting but be careful. The tower’s safe, but we’re in dangerous ground here.” Abby nodded, pushing some of Kane’s hair out of his face before leaving the room to attend to Roan.

On the ground, outside the tower, a group of Trishanakru men sat together around a table, Ilian sat with them, his face stone as he stared at the wood in front of him. “The king protects Skaikru. Why?” He asked the ambassador next to him, Rafel.

“Because he is their puppet, Ilian.” Rafel told Ilian, getting the boy to turn his head and listen. “And anyone who protects the people who did this are as guilty as they are. Roan of Azgeda will hear me. As your ambassador, I have the right to challenge him. Single Combat.”

Octavia stood hidden in the shadows, listening as Rafel promising revenge on Skaikru and the king.

“I want justice, Skaikru did this, not the king.” Ilian told him, his jaw clenching in disgust at the mention of Skaikru.

“Do you want revenge for your family? When Trishanakru controls Polis, you will have it.” Rafel held a cup up in cheers, Ilian and the other men slowly following. “I promise when the King’s head falls, Skaikru falls with it.”

The doors to the throne room opened and Roan was led inside, his head picking up as he looked upon the throne and Echo standing to the side.

“Welcome to your throne room, my King.” She greeted. Roan didn’t say anything, walking past her as he looked about the room. “Now since the lift’s been repaired, I’ve doubled the guards on every floor.”

“Expecting trouble?” Roan stopped her, raising a brow.

Echo sighed. “I trust only Azgeda. Your mother taught me that, the people loved her for it.”

Roan stood in front the throne and turned to face the spy. “Our people feared her.”

“Because she was fierce and ambitious.”

Slowly taking a seat, Roan shook his head. “My mother’s ambition and her disregard for Lexa’s alliance got her killed.”

“If I may, why do you insist on ruling as Lexa did if its not the best for our people?” Echo asked. Roan hesitated. He couldn’t tell her of the world’s destruction, who knows what a spy would do with that information. “At least tell me there’s a reason.”

He didn’t get a response formed before the door to throne room opened and Kane and Octavia pushed themselves inside. “Forgive the intrusion, your highness. May we have a word?” Kane asked, glancing to Echo who narrowed her eyes. “Privately.”

“You can wait, just like all the other ambassadors.” She spat at Kane.

“Echo.” Roan caught her attention. “Leave us.” She spun around to look at him, confused as to why Skaikru would be given the special treatment. “Please.” She followed the order of her king, leaving Kane and Octavia alone with Roan.

“You were right to be concerned about Trishanakru.” Kane told him once the room was cleared. “Rafel is gonna challenge for your control.”

“Bold move for a new ambassador.” Roan pointed out, knowing Trishanakru isn’t fond of him as King. “Let him come.”

“With respect, you’re still recovering.”

“The law says you can choose someone to fight in your place.”

“No.” Roan shot Octavia’s idea down. “The clans would never accept someone who hides behind the law or someone else’s blade.”

“You’ll lose.” Octavia said simply, gesturing to the wound. “Lexa kicked your ass without a bullet hole in your chest.”

“We should cancel the gathering.” Kane stepped in, sending a look of disapproval to Octavia. “Delay it until you’re strong enough.”

“No.” Roan objected, leaving the duo to silently bicker as he walked away. “Letting the clans have a voice keeps the peace here. Azgeda holds this city through force alone, and the flame won’t keep the clans at bay forever.” He sat into the throne, showing his power over the Skaikru ambassadors. “If they unite against us, we could lose, and if we lose-“

“They come for Skaikru.” Octavia finished Kane gulped quietly.

“And the radiation will come for us all.”

Kane shook his head. “No one has to die. The point of our arrangement is to give us time to find a solution that will save everyone.”

“And how is that solution coming?”

“We’re working on it.” Kane assured him, having no clue of your advancements towards a proper solution. “In the meantime, I’m here to keep you in power. Let me talk to the ambassador.”

“Go ahead. Talk.” Roan allowed Kane. Kane turned around, beginning to walk towards the door before Roan’s voice stopped him. “But if you fail, I’ll have no choice but to fight.” Kane hesitated before nodding, sparing Octavia a look before leaving and heading to the Trishanakru ambassador.

Things in Arkadia weren’t going as well as you hoped. You, Bellamy, Raven, Clarke, and Monty were held up in a room, racking your brains to come up with a solution. You leaned against the window, staring at the falling rain, thunder and lightning accompanying it. It was hard to believe in a few months, this very rain could kill you.

“We’ve been at this for two days. There has to be something we’re not thinking of.” Bellamy groaned, moving from the drawing board over to you. You hadn’t pulled yourself away from the window for almost twenty minutes. He’d be more worried if he didn’t know how stressful this was. Bellamy leaned against the wall and you could see him from the corner of your eye, but you made no indication. He sighed, running a hand over his face. “What if we could reach the nearest nuclear reactor?”

Raven scoffed at his idea. “I told you the meltdown started months ago. There’s no magic button to turn them off. Today isn’t the black rain but it will be soon.” Clarke looked to the window, Bellamy and you perched in front of it. She caught Bellamy’s eyes before looking at you, your eyes unmoving from the rain. Water dripped in through the seals as Monty glanced to the ceiling. “That’s why we need to focus on riding out the radiation, finding someplace safe and big enough for all 500 of us.”

Her words brought you out of your rain watching and you narrowed your eyes to her. “And what about everyone else? I made a promise to Roan. We save everyone.”

“That’s why we need to tell everyone!” Raven stressed as she took a step closer to you, Bellamy and Clarke, trying to get her point across. “Crowdsource it. The grounders might know if there’s another Mount Weather out there.”

Bellamy looked to you, his voice softer than before as he watched you lean back on the window, tilting your head upon it. “You think they’d tell us?” He asks you, knowing that if they grounders knew anything, you’d be the one who’d be aware.

“I doubt it. We tell them that they’re dead if we don’t figure this out then the coalition is over, Roan falls and we’ll be dealing with grounders at our gate.” You told them all, firmly believing destruction will only come from crowdsourcing.

“Then just tell our people.” Raven argued. “I need more minds on this problem.” You held your head in your hands, hiding a yawn as you rubbed from your eyes to your temples. “On the ark, people volunteered for the culling because they were told the truth and given a choice.” Monty turned around, bracing himself against the table as he watched water drop into a bucket he placed earlier. Raven turned to Clarke. “A choice your dad died for.”

Clarke furrowed her brows and clenched her jaw. “You think I’ve forgotten that?” She spat.

“Okay, we’ll tell everybody the truth,” Bellamy broke the tension between the two girls. “as soon as we find a viable solution. Without it, it’ll cause a panic.”

“That’s it!” Monty yelled out as everyone turned to him, you even pushing yourself into the group as Monty spoke. “Alpha station survived in space for 97 years through elevated radiation levels and extreme temperature fluctuations. Sound familiar?” He asked you all rhetorically. “All we have to do is patch up the ship.”

A silence fell around the group as Bellamy and you exchanged a glance. “What are you saying?” you asked Monty, wanting to make sure you were understanding what he was getting at.

He looked to you, a small smile making way on his face. “I’m saying, we’re standing in our viable solution.” You all looked around the room, your viable solution sounding more and more better as each moment passed.

“Alright then.” Raven grinned, nodding to Monty. “Let’s get to work.” They started on what was needed, making a list of things to fix as you sighed in relief, moving back to look out the window.

You were going to do this. This was going to work.  

“Hey.” Bellamy whispered as he joined you at the window, much closer than he was before. You didn’t mind though, feeling him glance at you. Bellamy didn’t have to look long to notice the bags under your eyes and the way your shoulders drooped. “When was the last time you had slept?”

You chuckled under your breath, looking at him with a smile. “I think I got a few minutes in last night.” You said honestly. You barely have gotten more than a few hours since that day you went in the City of Light, the stress of everything piling on your plate just kept you up and as much as you tried, you couldn’t sleep for long.

“Y/N.”

You shook your head at Bellamy, knowing the talk about needing to sleep was coming. “I’m fine, I really am. We have our solution. Let’s just make sure it works, then I’ll sleep.” He looked just as tired as you when you took a second to study his features. “Besides Bellamy, you look like you need it just as much as I do.”

“How about, we both get some shut eye.” You both glanced back, seeing Monty and Raven working as Clarke stood next to them, watching over their work and providing a voice on occasion.

“I think we’re supposed to be helping.” You told him, bumping his shoulder with yours. He frowned as you tried to hide another yawn.

“Y/N-“

“Get some sleep.” Monty’s voice called over to you and Bellamy. You both turned, seeing the three of them watching you with knowing smiles. “You both need it.”

Bellamy looked at you, raising a brow as you rolled your eyes. “You sure you don’t need our help?” You asked, hating that you were leaving them to all the work.

Raven nodded. “We’re sure. You’re no use to us tomorrow if you pass out from sleep exhaustion.”

“Tomorrow?” Bellamy questioned.

“Yeah, tomorrow.” Monty nodded. “We need a working hydro-generator to store water and the only working hydro-generator is in Farm Station.”

“And that’s where Bellamy and I come in?” You understood. Farm Station landed in Ice Nation territory, getting there without running into said Ice Nation is a mission all on its own. You needed to be awake, not worrying about whether you had enough strength to aim your bow. You bit your lip, to try not to yawn, giving up when it proved a struggle. “Fine. Sleep it is.” You relented.

Bellamy smiled when you gave in, both of you saying goodnight to your friends before leaving. The halls were quiet, most Arkers fast asleep as you headed to your room. “You think this is going to work?” You asked Bellamy.

He didn’t say anything before sighing. “Monty and Raven know what they’re doing.”

You stopped walking, grabbing his hand to get him to join you. “But do you think this is going to work?” You looked into his eyes. Bellamy didn’t know what to say. You wanted to know if he thought there was a chance you’d all survive. He didn’t say anything though, and you got your answer. He didn’t know. You looked down the hall, seeing your door as you took a breath. “Goodnight Bellamy.” You whispered, letting go of his hand. Bellamy looked down to his hand, immediately feeling the loss of your touch before looking up and seeing you walk away.

“Goodnight Y/N.” he mumbled after you, staying in that spot as you disappeared behind the door. He half contemplated turning back to help the others, content with getting you to sleep, but you wanted him to sleep too. It was only fair. He headed straight to his room, groaning at the sight of his bed. He didn’t bother turning the light on as he pulled his shirt off and fell onto the mattress to try and get some sleep.

You were exhausted as you laid in bed, barely bothering to change out of your jeans but putting a tank top on instead of the long sleeve shirt and jacket you wore. You could hear the rain outside your window, the constant pounding slowly lulling you to sleep.

Your eyes flickered closed in the darkness, and the rain started to disappear, the sound instead replaced by a faint whispering.

“Y/N…” it said quietly. You stirred in your sleep, hearing it again. “Y/N…” Its breathy voice repeated in your head, getting louder and louder until it was screaming. “Skaikiler!”

You bolted awake, throwing yourself to sit up as your breathing become frantic and heavy. You turned your bed lamp on, glancing around the room for the cause of the voice. Your room was empty, you were completely alone and the only sound you could hear was the rain once again.

“What the hell?” You mumbled, trying to calm yourself. The voice was gone, and you tried to think back on it, but it didn’t sound like anyone you knew before. You tried to ignore it, turning off the light and burying yourself in the blanket, but you couldn’t close your eyes, the thought that the voice would return was unsettling. You groaned, throwing your legs over the side of the bed and grabbing your jacket. You covered yourself before walking out of your room, your door slamming behind you as you froze.

You knew you needed to sleep, Bellamy told you that much. You’d go outside for a breather, but it was raining, and raining and tired doesn’t usually make for a great mission the next day. You started walking, your feet taking you wherever they wanted and soon enough you ended at Bellamy’s door. If he was asleep, knocking on the door might be mean, he did need sleep too. Before you could even consider another option, you were knocking. You scolded yourself, hoping Bellamy wasn’t in there sleeping.

Bellamy was struggling to get to sleep as well, every time he tried his mind wanders, often coming to you. He tried to empty his mind, but it was no use, no matter what his thoughts remained. The knock on his door made him awake fully, not having expected anyone to come this late at night. He assumed it was Clarke to tell them they needed him for something. He groaned, pushing himself off his bed, turning on his lamp on the way up. His feet padded silently against the ground as he opened the door, not expecting to see you on the other side.

Your eyes were wide as the door was pulled open, a shirtless Bellamy in front of you as you looked away, feeling like you shouldn’t have just checked him out. When you finally looked back at him, you thanked that he hadn’t caught you, a yawn escaping him. “Y/N?”

“Sorry. I uh…” You stopped yourself. What were you doing here?

“You couldn’t sleep either?” He asked as you shook your head, happy to know it wasn’t just you. Although something tells you that he didn’t have voices in his head. “Come in.” He nodded towards his bed and stepped aside, letting you into his room. You stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do as Bellamy fell back into bed. He looked at you, raising a brow. “Come on, you still need to get some sleep.” You laughed, chewing on your lip and walking over to the bed. You were about to climb in before you remembered your jacket, pausing and turning off the light before pulling your jacket off. Bellamy didn’t say anything, watching your figure in the dark before you started to climb in. You laid on your side, facing away from Bellamy. You could feel him behind you, you knew he was staring at the back of your head.

He scooted closer to you, you doing the same and moving backwards until his body pressed against yours, more warmth coming from his chest than a blanket ever could’ve provided. His arm began to encircle your waist before slowly pulling away. Bellamy wasn’t sure if it was welcomed, he didn’t know if he already over stepped with sharing a bed. You didn’t say anything and grabbed Bellamy’s hand, bringing his arm back around your stomach. He grinned and pulled you even closer. Suddenly his thoughts stopped taking over his brain, the feeling of you next to him was enough for Bellamy to fall asleep comfortably. You fell asleep too not long after, hearing Bellamy’s breathing in your ear and the voice didn’t make another appearance that night.

Morning came faster than you thought as the morning sun came though Bellamy’s window. You moved in your sleep, now laying on Bellamy’s chest with his arms around you. You didn’t know if Bellamy was awake, picking your head up and placing your chin on his chest. He woke up a few minutes ago, watching you sleep peacefully. You didn’t look nearly as tired as you had last night, the extra hours you had spent with Bellamy asleep doing you both favors. You gave him a lazy smile, receiving one in return from him.

“Morning.” He spoke, his voice deeper and gravelly in the morning, obvious he slept well.

“Morning.” You whispered, stretching out your legs. They hit Bellamy’s and neither of you stopped them from getting tangled together. “How long were we asleep for?” you asked, hearing the days chatter begin outside Bellamy’s room.

Bellamy shrugged, not pulling his eyes off you. His eyes moved down from your face, seeing the scars on your body. There was a familiarity in this moment, the last time you and Bellamy woke like this you had just had sex for the first time. He left you for Pike. He wasn’t going to do that this time.

You caught his eyes moving to your scar on your shoulder, that one from the panther as you shifted. You reached over for your jacket, thrown on his bedside table and pulled it on. When you broke the comfort between you two, Bellamy was confused and wanting to stay a little longer with you, but when you grabbed your jacket, he knew what was wrong.

“Hey.” He said, pushing himself up to sit against the wall. You paused and looked him before slowly pulling your jacket the rest of the way on. “You don’t have to hide them from me.” He told you, reaching out to grab your hand. You swallowed, pulling your hand away before he could reach. He furrowed his brows. “Y/N?”

“It’s not you.” You admitted, refusing to look at him.

He waited for you to go on, but you hadn’t said more. “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, offering a smile. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“No. Something’s on your mind, the same something that made you grab your jacket.” He reached for your hand once more, this time you allowed him to grab it. “Talk to me.”

You took a second, trying to find the words. “It’s dumb. I’ve lived with my scars for years, but when I was in the City of Light…” you stopped yourself, letting your eyes closed as you thought back to the City, staring at yourself in the building once again. Your scars were gone, you looked… normal. You opened your eyes again, blinking away the thoughts as you realized Bellamy had gotten closer, an arm pulled around your back as you both sat with your legs off the edge of the bed. “They weren’t there.” You blurted out.

Was it wrong to want to look like that again?

“I told you it’s dumb. Especially with everything that’s going on. My problems are-“

“Important.” Bellamy cut you off. He squeezed your hand. “Your problems are important Y/N and I promise you, we’ll get through this. We’ll survive.”

You smiled at him, feeling your cheeks heat up as he rubbed your back. “I’m holding you to that.” You both chuckled. “We should probably get going before someone files a missing people report.” You joked as Bellamy chuckled and both of you slowly got out of the bed.  

Checking in with Clarke, Raven and Monty, they explained the plan of retrieving the hydro-generator, you and Bellamy bringing along a group, specifically Monty, Harper, Miller, Bryan, and you two. It was yours and Bellamy’s job to bring Miller and Bryan up too speed and after a good 10 minutes, you were getting somewhere.

“Raven says we can get it sealed in a month.” Bellamy told them, your head nodding as he spoke. “The Ark is our Ark.”

“I get it.” Miller stopped him, processing the plan. “So, we freeze dry the meat until we can grow our own food, oxygen scrubbers, but how do we store enough water for 500 people?”

Bellamy looked to you, offering you the next explanation. “We don’t.” you took over. “That’s why we’re heading to Farm Station.”

Miller scoffed and knotted his brows. “Why the hell would we do that? That’s in Ice Nation, you know that better than anyone.”

Bryan groaned in pain as he stood up, the three of you looking at him in concern. “You just said it. We need a hydro-generator and Farm Station has one for crops.”

“Think you can get us there?” Bellamy asked Bryan before Miller interrupted.

“No way. Find another machine.”

“There aren’t any, Miller. Without it we’d barely, last a year. 5 would be impossible.” You told him, running a hand over your face. Miller considered it, looking in between you and Bellamy.

“Fine. I’m in, but Bryan stays here. His leg’s still healing.”

You looked at Bryan seeing him send a look to Miller before addressing Bellamy and you. “I’m in too.”

You knew he was only going because he wanted to prove he could, but that was only more dangerous. “Good. We leave in an hour.” Bellamy said as Miller scoffed, wondering why he even tries with his boyfriend. You followed Bellamy out of the room.

As soon as you both were gone, Miller grabbed Bryan’s attention. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Yeah I do.” Bryan told him, shaking his head. “Since Octavia murdered Pike, I’m the only one left who knows where it is.”

“Why are you defending him? Pike was a dictator!”

“He was elected chancellor, and if you don’t care about that, he kept me alive for three months.”

“Then why did you help us turn him over to the grounders?”

Bryan stared at Miller; the answer obvious in Bryan’s head. “To save you, Nate.”

Miller didn’t say anything, his arguments falling short knowing Bryan sacrificed Pike because he loved Miller. Miller pulled him in for a long loving hug, whispering sorry in his ear.

Monty went looking for his best friend, checking his room, the dining hall and the hangar bay before walking outside, the sound of pitchy singing coming from the middle of the camp. Monty grew confused, following the sound before seeing Jasper in the shower, scrubbing his body and singing along to the song stark naked in the camp, his only covering being a curtain surrounded the shower. Monty put his hands on his hips, watching his friend from afar before coming forward.

“Woah.” Monty said as he got closer, discovering Jasper’s naked body with a hand placed to hide Jasper. “Nice cap.” Monty called out, his hand still up and remaining up until Jasper was wearing clothes again. “You know you’re wasting our drinking water, right?”

Jasper just chuckled, continuing to use the loofah on his body. “You know we’re all going to die in 6 months, right?” he retorted, running the water over his face.

“Not if we find what we’re looking for today.” Monty tried to sound confident, knowing that finding the hydro-generator was huge.

Jasper scoffed, continuing on with his shower. “Oh please. Tell me about another pointless task Clarke has roped you into doing. Or better yet, don’t. I don’t want to keep anymore of her secrets.”

“We’re going back to Farm Station.” Monty moved on. “Why don’t you come with us.”

Jasper shook his head and turned off the water. “Monty.” He said and held his hands out. “Look at me.”

Monty turned away, using his hand once again to not see Jasper’s nakedness. “I’m really trying not to.”

“I’m fine. I’m having fun.” When Monty interrupted him, Jasper sighed. “I’m not going to kill myself.” He assured his best friend. “What’s the point?” He grabbed his towel, wrapping it around his body and smirked. “But if you want to cheer me up, while you’re at Farm Station, get that weed we stashed? Behind the wall of your old room?” He smiled at Monty, holding up his hand. “Come on. Don’t leave me hanging!”

Monty held up his own hand, both of them bringing their other hands up to high five themselves, their own special high five. Monty tried to hide his own smile as he pointed at Jasper and walked away, headed to meet you all at the hangar bay.

“Hey, you want a hug?” Jasper called out jokingly as Monty chuckled.

You lifted up a backpack, tossing it to Miller who put it in the rover, getting ready for your Ice Nation trip. You hoped that it would be a clean trip, but things don’t usually go your way.

“Battery’s full.” Bellamy said and you turned around to see Clarke walking over. “If we’re lucky, we won’t have to stop to discharge.”

Clarke nodded, pulling out Roan’s Ice Nation seal. “If Roan’s seal works the way it’s supposed to, we’ll be even luckier.” She muttered and handed it over to Bellamy. “If you get in trouble, just show this.”

You tapped Miller’s leg, telling him you’re going over as he nodded. “You can still come with us.” You told Clarke who shook her head.

“I can’t. Arkadia is just plan B. We need to find a solution that saves both us and the grounders.” You knew she was right. You promised Roan his people would be safe and protecting just your people wasn’t the way to do that.

“We save who we can save today.” Bellamy said, looking more at you than Clarke. He knew if anything went wrong for the grounders, you’d blame yourself. You were the one who made a promise to Roan.

“We should get going.” You reminded them. Bellamy nodded telling the others to load up.

“Hey, be careful, okay?” You nodded at Clarke’s words before heading to the rover, sending patting the side of it before climbing into the front seat. Bellamy joined you, sliding into the front seat and away to Ice Nation you went.

Bellamy parked far from the fallen ship, up on the hill as you all clambered out of the rover. “This is as far as we can get.” He called out as everyone approached the ledge, looking out at Farm Station. “From here we go on foot.”

“We get the hydro-generator and get out.” Miller instructed. “We don’t want to stay any longer than we need.” The ship was daunting, just like Alpha Station but covered in snow. Miller looked into his binoculars, his face falling instantly. “Guys, we have a problem.” Bellamy brought his gun up, looking into the scope as you all crouched down.

“What is it?” you asked, not able to see that far without help.

“The barn’s not empty.” Miller muttered over to you as your head dropped. Of course, it’s not empty, that would make this a million times easier.

“They moved in.” Bryan spoke in disbelief. “If it’s the same guys who attacked us, with our guns, we could take them.”

“We’re not here to fight them.” You said looking down at the Station. “We need the machine, if we don’t then Ice Nation will be the least of our troubles.”

“Guys?”

You picked your head up, turning to see Harper with an arrow drawn to her back. You aimed your own bow as Ice Nation grounders came out from the trees, all aiming their weapons at you and your friends.

“Weapons down. Now.” Bellamy told you all as he lowered his gun, Monty and Harper following. You and Miller hesitated but ultimately listened, leaving Bryan with his gun up.

“Bryan now.” You told him, placing your hand on the barrel gently, the boy allowed you to bring his gun down, watching the woman in front of you stare at you.

Bellamy pulled out the seal, showing it to the woman. “King Roan of Azgeda sent us.” The woman took the seal out of Bellamy’s hands, looking it over. Bellamy and you exchanged glances, but once Bellamy was looking away, the woman used the seal, hitting Bellamy in the head with it.

“Bellamy!” you yelled as he hit the ground unconscious. You were by his side, turning him in your lap to see him unconscious. You brushed his hair out of the way, checking for any injuries.

“Take their weapons. Let’s introduce them to the chief.”

A bow was placed to your head, stopping your movements. “Get up.”  A man said, nudging your head. You looked up at him, slowly moving Bellamy off your lap. He was staring to wake up, groaning as you shifted and stood up, raising your hands in the air.

The grounders tied everyone’s hands in front of them, leading you all into the Farm Station. You and Bellamy walked side by side, grounders grabbing your shoulders and shoving you and your friends to the ground. The seal was presented in front of you and Bellamy.

“Where did you get this?” The Ice Nation Chief asked Bellamy. You stayed quiet, glancing back at all your friends and seeing their equally pissed off and scared faces.

“King Roan. Skaikru and Azgeda are allies. He sent us to get a part of the ship, a machine.” Bellamy explained to him. The grounders obviously didn’t believe him as the Chief turned to the woman who knocked Bellamy out.

“King Roan hasn’t returned to Ice Nation in 3 years. The Banished Prince is not my king.” She told the Chief who pocketed the seal.

“You know Queen Nia is dead.”  You spoke harshly. They looked at you, narrowing their eyes. “That ‘Banished Prince’ is the rightful ruler of Ice Nation. Whether you like it or not.”  The chief pulled out his knife, making you realize no matter what you said about Roan being king, it wouldn’t be enough. “Look, if we were coming to take this place back, we’d of brought more people. You know that.”

Bellamy watched you, only understanding bits of what you were saying. The Chief came to you with the knife, tucking it under your chin and pulling your head up. “Just because you speak our language, doesn’t make you one of us, Skaikiler.”

Why did they always assume you wanted to be like one of them?

“Let’s get this over with, Davika.” The chief spoke to the woman before yanking you to your feet, cutting the rope binding your hands before doing the same to Bellamy.

“Release them.” He told his people who listened, all cutting your friends loose. Bellamy stepped closer to you, looking at you to make sure you were fine, and you nodded. “Where is this machine for the king?”

At Arkadia, Raven managed to get a few people to help with the ships repair, telling them that they need to get the ship ready for the winter, not for the worlds end. She sent the workers on their way. She looked up, seeing Clarke walking her way and shook her head. “There is so much work to do and I get a total of 5 volunteers to help me?”

“It’s a start.”

“I can’t run this repair on my own Clarke!” She tried not to yell and alert the others. “Even if I had complete mobility, or even if Sinclair was still alive.” Her voice dropped at the mention of her mentor. “Who the hell am I to give them orders? I’m not the chief engineer.”

“And I’m not the chancellor.” Clarke shook her head slowly, shrugging her shoulders. “Yet, here we are. For what it’s worth, there’s nobody I trust more to do this than you.” Raven looked up, taking in Clarke’s words. “As soon as Bellamy and Y/N get back with the machine, we go public and get you the help you need.”

“Am I interrupting?” Jaha spoke to the girls as they turned around, seeing the man join in on their conversation. They looked at each other before Jaha spoke up again. “I used to be an engineer. I supervised the redesign of sector 5.”

“And how many people died in sector 5 during the culling when you sucked the air out of their lungs?”

“42.” Jaha said quickly, not taking Raven’s spite. “Would you like to know their names?” Raven scoffed and stormed off, leaving Jaha and Clarke to talk before Clarke stopped her.

“Raven, we could use the help.” She reminded the engineer who stopped herself, turning around with crossed arms.

“You know he made me cut my wrists to force your mom to take the chip, right?” Raven recapped. “He searched for the City of Light. He brought ALIE here. He showed her how to overcome free will.”

“Yes.” Jaha knew what he had done. “Those are my sins and I have to live with them.”

Raven scoffed. “You wanna help? Go sort the scraps.” Jaha nodded as Raven finished her storming off, glancing at Clarke before following the Reyes instruction.

The chief led you through the halls of the Farm Station in a line. “Since when does a grounder know how to power on a spaceship?” Monty pointed out as you overheard. He had a point, grounders wouldn’t know that.

“No talking.” Dakiva said as she shoved Monty forward on her order. You were stopped at the end of the hallway, the door leading into the engine room closed as you waited. Bellamy reached behind himself for your hand and you took a step forward, hiding your joined hands between your bodies.

The door was opened, and you were led inside. “Slaves!” The chief shouted. “Eyes down.”

Your breath was caught, staring out amongst the Ice Nation’s slaves. They were Farm Station.

“What is this?” You muttered to the Chief who just sent you a glare.

“Do what you came here to do.” Your eyes landed on a little girl, her face covered in grime and you started forwards, wanting to check on her but Bellamy stopped you, shaking his head. You looked back at her, her eyes locking on yours.

He was going to leave them? He couldn’t just leave them. There were kids here! Teenagers! They don’t deserve this.

Monty pointed out the generator for all of you and Chief began bringing you up. The stairs.

“Riley?” Bryan’s voice caused you to turn around, seeing him look at a ‘slave’ down the line. Riley turned back around, his back to Bryan as Bryan approached him. “Riley! We thought you were dead.”

“Bryan, don’t!” Bellamy yelled as the two of you rushed back down the stairs. The chief pushed himself between Bryan and Riley and you grabbed Bryan, stepping in front of him as Bellamy stood next to you.

“Only the machine. The rest is ours.” Their chief told you. You felt Bryan move from behind you as you stopped him, staring down the Chief before Bellamy pulled your elbow and you all went for the machine.

Roan grunted as he swung at Echo with his sword, dodging swings of her own as they sparred. He slid on the ground to avoid a strike, rising to his feet and kicking her knee out. But when he raised his arm in the air to swing down at her one final time, he groaned out in pain, his bullet wound stopping him from delivering the blow. He leaned forward, supporting himself on the sword before Echo kicked the sword out and held hers against his neck.

“Damn it.” He groaned, pushing Echo away.

Abby called out from the side of the room, stepping forwards. “Let me take a look.” She pulled down Roan’s shirt, looking at the scarred skin. “It’s healing but you need more time.”

“I don’t have time.”

“Why did you accept this challenge? You’re a king, make your own rules.” Echo told Roan as she watched him pick up his sword, groaning as he bent over.

“I told you. I won’t be that kind of king.” She swung her sword, engaging in their match again until Roan strained his chest again. He moved his sword to his right hand, using that arm instead to attack back on Echo. Echo had the upper hand as she struck Roan in the shoulder, kicking his stomach and sending him the floor in pain. He clutched his injury, gasping as Echo stood over him.

“I would be honored to take your place in this fight.” She extended a hand to him, but Roan pushed himself up without the help.

“I will not run from this fight.”

“Echo’s right.” Abby said, putting her opinion in. “I didn’t save your life so you could tear yourself apart again.

Roan narrowed his eyes at the women. “Since when are you two on the same side? If you can’t help me, then why the hell are you still here?”

Abby didn’t say anything, instead choosing to leave like he wanted. “This fight can still be avoided.” Echo said once Abby was gone. “Protecting Skaikru gives the other clans an excuse to challenge you. Let me care of it. Let me do what your mother would’ve done.” She started her attack again as Roan ducked, yelling no to her. “Then please, tell me what Skaikiler could’ve offered you. What deal could she offer be worth losing the fate of your people?”

“A chance to survive the end of the world.” Roan finally told her. “That’s what they’re offering to us. Soon Praimfaya will come again and destroy everything. Skaikru is trying to stop it.”  

Echo’s face fell. “My king, they’re lying to you. They’d say anything to save themselves.” Roan shook his head, wanting to believe his trust in you was rightfully placed. “Let me prove it to you. Send me to Arkadia.”

“Your only concern now should be helping me win. Once I do, you may go to Arkadia. Prove my trust in Y/N is deserved.”

Echo quirked her brow. “Y/N?” she questioned her kings use of your name.

Roan paused. “Skaikiler.” He corrected himself before swinging his sword, not letting Echo get another word in before they were sparring again.

Rafel and Ilian and their men sat around again, Rafel sharpening a knife as he spoke. “Once I have accused Roan of crimes against our people for protecting Skaikru, he’ll demand proof. Ilian will be out first witness.” At Rafel’s words, Ilian looked to him, seeing Kane and Octavia walk their way over Rafel’s shoulder.

He pushed himself out of his chair, the other men doing so as well. Ilian held his knife behind him. “Ambassador, may we speak in private? We know you’re planning on challenging King Roan.”

Everyone was watching, even those not previously involved in the conversation. “Leave us.” He told everyone. “Ilian, stay.” Kane and Ilian both took a seat, Octavia staying for Kane’s protection.

“I’d like to ask you to reconsider.” Kane started, using his kindest tone.

Rafel laughed in his face. “Ask? After everything your people have done, you expect diplomacy?”

“Skaikru is not your enemy.”

Ilian slammed his hand down on the table, removing it to the show the chip laying upon the surface. “Skaikru made me murder my entire family. I have no one left.”

Kane offered an apologetic frown. “I’m sorry for your loss, but the chip technology affected every clan. You blame Skaikru for the City of Light, but shouldn’t you credit us for destroying it as well? After everything we’ve suffered, why should we spill more blood?”

Rafel smirked as he looked towards the younger boy. “You see Ilian. The King can’t fight. Otherwise his minions wouldn’t be trying to stop us.”

Octavia stepped in, leaning forward and towering over Ilian. “If the King wasn’t hurt, do you really think this coward would give a crap about your family?”

“Since you landed here, your people have done nothing but rip our world apart!” Rafel shouted, stopping Octavia from saying the obvious truth. He looked to Kane with a scowl. “Reap what you sow, ambassador. The time of Skaikru is over.”

He walked off and Ilian stood up, grabbing the chip and following behind him. “Well.” Octavia frowned watching the two walk away. “That went well.” Kane scoffed, leaving as well as Octavia glared at Rafel, knowing what she had to do.

Clarke was struggling. Plan B was a great plan if the hydro-generator pulled through, but to save everyone like you promised Roan? That was seeming to be impossible. There were just too many people.

“Damn it!” Clarke yelled, swiping her work off the table and burying her head in her hands. She was trying to focus, really just clearing her head in hopes it helps, but she couldn’t as music started getting louder from somewhere in the ark.

She knotted her brows, taking a look at the population sheet she had before needing to find the source. She stormed around the ark, heading outside and seeing a mess of kids, all of them standing around, drinking, or kicking a ball. Clarke was stunned, walking through the masses and arriving at Jasper, hanging onto a rover with the music on the highest volume.

“Can we talk?” Clarke called up at him, getting the boys attention as he stopped singing along to the music.

“Sure.” Jasper told her, jumping on the rover and following her. “I’ve got about 6 months. What’s up?”

“I’m trying to make sure we get more than 6 months, which is why these people need to get back to work.”

“I didn’t force them to stop. I guess they think it’s the end of the day, not end of days.” He took a sip of his drink, Clarke shaking her head in disbelief.

“Don’t you want us to survive, Jasper?”

“No, I don’t want us to survive.” Jasper said simply. “I want us to live.”

“If we don’t repair the ship, none of us will get that chance.” Clarke spoke quieter, trying to get her point across.

“And what about free will? That’s why Y/N destroyed ALIE, right? So why don’t you tell them all the truth?” Jasper gestured to the people, his voice getting louder as Clarke shushed him. “Let them decide what they want to do with their last 6 months. What are you so afraid of?”

“We can’t just go to them with no solution. People will Panic.”

Jasper nodded and faked a laugh. “Spoken like the council that sent 100 kids to die on the ground.” He backed away from Clarke, talking a sip of his drink and singing along to the music, leaving Clarke figure out a solution by herself.

Moral at the Farm Station was down as you all worked on removing the hydro-generator. Well, Bellamy and you stood off to the side, while everyone else who knew what they were doing was working.

“We can’t just leave them.” Bryan muttered, the 6 of you keeping your voices quiet to not raise suspicion and have grounders overhear.

“We’re in the collation, Y/N do you think the King would free them?” Harper asked, glancing out of the corner of her eye.

You bit your lip, thinking about it. “Roan’s people don’t respect him, but it’s our best bet.”

“They’re right.” Bellamy agreed, stepping closer to the group. “We try diplomacy first. If that doesn’t work, we come with reinforcements for the slaves.” He looked at Bryan, knowing he disagreed with the plan that put his friend at risk. “After we take home the machine, right?” Everyone nodded their heads.

The little girl who you wanted to help earlier walked in between you and Bellamy carrying a pitcher of water. As soon as she passed you, she dropped a cloth onto the ground and kept walking. You looked around, trying not to get caught as you stepped on it moving it towards Bellamy to hide it.

“Bell, look down.” You whispered in his ear, pretending like you were helping with the machine. He looked at you in confusion before glancing to the ground, seeing you remove your foot and uncover the note. He didn’t waste a second to crouch down at pick it up, reading it quickly.

“They’re moving them tomorrow.” Bellamy read from the note and stood up, looking back to see you hide your worries.

“We can’t wait.” You told them. If you didn’t get these people out of here, who knows what would happen to them.

“Are there any other exits?” Bellamy asked.

Bryan shook his head. “No. It’s completely sealed. Came down from space in here because it’s the most secure room in the ship.

“It’s designed that way in case the hydrazine blew.” Monty added. Bellamy’s eyes widened.

“What?” You asked, trying to figure out if you missed something.

“We have a bomb.” He whispered, realization dawning on all your faces.

Miller was the first one to speak up, opposed to the idea. “The end of the world is coming, and you want to use our one chance of our people’s survival as a bomb?”

“Not all our people.” Bryan pointed out, glancing at his brother in disbelief. “Riley?”

“I vote take it home.” Miller argued with his boyfriend.

“No, we blow it up.”

“I’m with Bryan.” Harper agreed and sides were beginning to take place. “I know what it’s like to be locked up and afraid. You didn’t leave us in Mount Weather, and we can’t leave them here.”

“Can we build another machine?” You asked Monty, knowing soon a decision was going to come and despite the outcome, people will die.

“Are you kidding? The techs way too advanced.” Monty shot your idea down. You groaned quietly, trying to think of anything.

Bellamy grabbed your hand and squeezed before releasing it. “We have 6 months. You’re telling me Raven can’t figure out another way to make water?”

“Yes.” Monty pressed. You looked around slowly, hoping you all weren’t drawing eyes. Monty sighed. “Look I know you want to make up for the things you done, we all do, but we need to think big picture here. We’re talking about the human race. We need to get this machine back to Arkadia. It’s the only way.”

“It’s two-two, guys. Bellamy? Y/N?”

Your eyes fell on the little girl before you saw Bellamy looking at you. “There are kids here, Bellamy. She can’t be any older than I what I was. I can’t leave them.” Bellamy nodded, grabbing your hand once again and telling the group the plan to save them all.

As soon as the Hydro-generator was free, Monty, Bellamy, Harper, and Bellamy carried the hydro-generator out of the room. Each of them had a hand on it as you passed by the Farm Station people. They looked broken, everyone watching you all, but you kept your head down, looking up only as you passed by the girl once again.

The door closed as you exited walking behind everyone next to Bryan. You heard it shut before Miller lost his hold the generator. “Watch it Miller!” Bryan shouted ahead.

“Wait, wait! Just set it down here!” Monty instructed as the other three listened, letting the generator onto the floor. He bent down, activating the bomb as you and Bellamy locked eyes, preparing for the next few seconds. “Now!”

You turned to the grounder next to you, the same one who held a bow to your head earlier and threw your fist into his face, sending him to the floor in one swing. You were about to run before another came behind you, grabbing your fist to keep from you punching him but you threw your elbow up, hitting him in the nose and sending him backwards.

“Y/N!” Bellamy shouted as you looked up, seeing everyone run back into the other room. You jumped over the bomb, grabbing Bellamy’s hand as the bomb started ticking.

“Kill them!” Dakiva shouted as Bellamy and you grabbed the door, pushing it closed together.

The bomb exploded, taking out most of the ship except the room you were in. The Chief didn’t waste a second before coming after your friends and you, swinging his axe at Miller before Bellamy body checked him. The chief groaned out in pain as Bellamy and Miller started beating him together.

“Stop! Stop!” Bryan shouted as he pulled Miller off. You thought he wanted him to die, that was the plan. Harper kicked the man in the head, and you had to admit, it was a nice kick. “This isn’t your kill! This is Monty’s kill!”

Everyone fell silent, looking at Bryan. “What are you talking about?” Monty asked, stepping out from behind Harper.

“This is the man who killed your father.” You were all in shock. This was Monty’s kill.

He picked up the chief’s axe, holding it his hand as he tried to control his anger.

“Monty, you don’t have to do this.” Bellamy tried getting Monty to listen, but you grabbed his arm, pulling Bellamy back next to you.

Monty didn’t even look at him. “Yeah, I do.” He lifted the axe above his head, grunting in anger as he repeatedly drove the axe into the chains next to him, freeing the slaves. You were proud of him, he didn’t need to kill his father’s killer. Instead, he let Farm Station do it. They needed their revenge more than he did.

Clarke walked into Raven’s workshop, looking around for said engineer. “Raven?” She called out, not receiving any response from Raven, but from Jaha.

“Polyethylene silicon elastomers.” He said, pointing to the barrels next to him. “We don’t need that to survive winter or a grounder attack. What are we really preparing Alpha Station for?” Clarke didn’t say anything, unsure how to approach this. Jaha chuckled, tossing his tools down. “Heavy lies the crown.” He told her. “I know the burden of keeping a secret you think is going to destroy your people.”

“You locked me up.” She stopped him. “You floated my father.”

“Now you understand why. No leader starts out wanting to lie, imprison or execute their people. The decisions you face whittle you down piece by piece.”

Clarke didn’t want to admit it, but Jaha knew what he was talking about. “What do I do?” She asks, needing any advice.

“I’ll tell you what I told your mother after the culling. We make the best decisions that we can with the information that we have, then hope that there's a forgiving god.” Clarke listened, but she knew you all needed more than a forgiving god.

Abby stood by her window, looking down at the city of Polis as her door opened and in walked Kane.

“Can Roan fight?” He asked her, needing to know how much trouble they were in.

Abby shook her head. “It’s too soon.” Based on today’s events, Roan was in no condition to fight anyone.

Kane groaned, letting his head fall. “One simple task and I’m failing.”

Abby comforted him, caressing his cheek. “No. You’ll figure it out.” She assured him, but Kane saw past Abby’s confidence.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his turn to comfort him.

Abby shook her head, pausing before answering him. “There’s nothing more that I can do for Roan.”

Kane nodded as he understood. “You need to go back to Arkadia and Clarke.” It hurt him, but he knew Abby needed to leave. He caught sigh of her bare neck as he pushed the hair of his way, furrowing his brows. “Your necklace?” Jakes ring no longer sat upon Abby’s neck. Kane pulled Abby into him, kissing her goodbye as he held her.

Octavia walked in the dead of night wearing a black cloak to hide herself amongst the grounders. She took a look around her, making sure she wouldn’t be caught as she walked into Rafel’s home.

“It’s about time, pour the wine.” Rafel told her, unknown to who it really was in his house as he ate. When no wine was poured, he looked up surprised to see Octavia standing there. “What the hell do you want?”

“I’m here to ask you one last time to back down.”

He kept eating his food, picking it apart. “Are you trying to frighten me, little girl?”

Octavia walked around the table, coming closer to him. “If your problem is really with Skaikru, not Roan, challenge me instead.”

“You’re not worthy of my blade.” He laughed at her.

“I came here to change your mind.”

“You can’t. Trishanakru will have its justice.” Octavia picked up the long skinny dagger on the table, twisting it in her hand before forcing it through Rafel’s ear. Rafel’s speak was cut immediately, his head falling onto the table as he died.

“Long live the king.” She said and pulled the weapon out of his ear, cleaning up the blood on the dagger as well as the blood dripping from his ear, leaving no trace this was a murder. She pulled her hood back on, walking out of the deceased ambassador’s home.

The 13 clans met the next day, Rafel’s threat of a challenge looming over Kane and Roan’s head. Kane and the other ambassadors entered the throne room and Kane approached Roan right away. “Please, it’s not too late to cancel.”

“You failed.” Roan said as he sat upon the throne. “We do this Azgeda’s way. Single Combat. Take your seat, ambassador.” Kane wanted to say more but decided against it, moving back into his seat. Roan looked around the room, his eyes falling upon an empty seat for the ambassador. “Where is Rafel kom Trishanakru?” No one answered but the door opened to Echo, marching to Roan and whispering in his ear. He nodded as she stepped away. Roan glanced at a confused Kane before standing up. “The Ambassador was found dead this morning.” Gasps went around the room as Roan went on. “His heart stopped.” Everyone bowed their heads along with Roan. “May the spirits of the commanders guide him safely home.” Kane looked towards Octavia, not needing much to go on to know she killed Rafel. “Let us begin.”

Ilian turned his head, looking to Octavia behind him. “You going to kill me, too?” He asked her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Octavia played dumb, making Ilian mad as he turned back face front. She extended an arm forward, putting it on his shoulder. “I’m sorry about your family.” She told him before pulling away and leaving the clan meeting.

The ride back to Arkadia was rough, the back of the rover filled to the brim with people as you sat up front with Bellamy and bags on your lap. Bellamy came to a stop as you all climbed out, not saying a word about the mission. Miller and Bryan were already out when you managed, overhearing a bit of their conversation of whether or not Miller thought it was worth saving them. You moved around to the back of the rover, helping people alongside Bellamy. Seeing Alpha Station was a shock to them, they probably hadn’t seen much being in chains.

Bellamy and you helped Riley down, watching his hip as he clutched it in pain. “Riley?” Clarke called out as she approached, confused as to where all these people were coming from.

“Clarke.” Riley whispered before they hugged.

“I can’t believe you’re alive.” She told him, pulling away to look at him.

“I am now.” He turned around, both of them watching you and Bellamy help the little girl and a woman out of the rover.

The little girl clutched the back of Bellamy’s jacket after he helped her down. “Get Riley and the others to the med bay. Tell them we’ll take them to their villages in the morning.” Bellamy told Monty. He started to lead the girl to Riley who stuck out his hand, but she pulled away and ran to you.

You gasped in surprise as she wrapped her arms around your waist, hugging you tightly. You stood there, unsure as what to do before slowly hugging her back. The look of shock on your face remained when she pulled away, letting Riley lead her away.

You hadn’t seen Raven approach, too caught up in your hug before she spoke. “Where is it?” She questioned, not seeing the hydro-generator in the rover.

“We didn’t get the machine.” Bellamy told her, sparing you a glance.

“It didn’t survive the landing?”

“No, it did.” You jumped in. “But we had a choice. Bring the machine or save them.”

“Oh, we are so screwed.” Raven muttered shaking her head.

“We have time. We’ll figure it out, but I’m not sacrificing any more innocent lives.” Bellamy defended himself.

“You just did.”

“I made the call, and I’ll live with it.

Raven scoffed. “Yeah, and you’re not the only one who has to live with your call, as usual.”

You stepped up, tired of this conversation. “Stop! Both of you! You weren’t there. This wasn’t just Bellamy’s call, it mine too. Do you wanna look that kid in the eyes? Go tell Riley that you think we should’ve left them for dead.” You pointed off in the direction Riley and the girl left.

The three of them looking at you in shock as Clarke nodded. “Ok.” She turned to Raven, her voice lowering. “How many of us will the ship sustain without a hydro-generator?” You felt Bellamy’s hand on your back as Raven answered, telling her not more than a hundred. You all sighed, looking out at the people you and Bellamy saved and the people that needed to be saved. “What am I supposed to tell the people now?”

“How about the truth?” Raven suggested, unsure as to why this was even a question. “Crowdsource it, like we talked about.”

Clarke looked to you and you nodded. “Call for a general meeting.” She told Raven who took off. You and Bellamy stayed back with her.

“What are you going to do?” Bellamy asked.

Clarke paused, thinking back on the advice Jaha gave her. “Hope that there’s a forgiving god.”

The meeting was started as soon as everyone was rounded up, Clarke stepping up to address everyone as you stood off to the side with Bellamy and Raven.

Clarke explained everything, all about what ALIE showed you and everything about Praimfaya. “So now you know the truth.” She told them. “I know you’re afraid. I know you’re angry, but when Y/N shut down ALIE, she knew there would a way to get through this together.” Heads turned to look at you, but you didn’t stare back, choosing instead to focus on Clarke’s speech. “Alpha Station is that way. Every single one of us will survive on this ship.”

Your mouth fell open a little. “She didn’t just…” you whispered, looking at Bellamy who nodded. You should’ve known Clarke wouldn’t tell the truth.

She finished up her speech, asking for volunteers and promising them they’ll survive.  She left her spot, joining the three of you.

“Nice Speech.” Sarcasm obviously came from Raven’s voice as Clarke took a deep breath.

“Sometimes hope is more important than truth.”

“Your dad would be so proud.” Raven scoffed at her.

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “You wanted workers. You got them.” Clarke was right, there was a bunch of people who were now volunteering to help. Raven sent her a glare before leaving, leading the volunteers to the hangar bay. The three of you watched her leave.

“We save who can save today.” Bellamy told you both, repeating his words from earlier. You looked up at him, giving him a thin smile before looking to the rover. Your stomach as you caught sight of someone standing there next to it, someone who definitely shouldn’t be there.

Lexa?

You couldn’t believe your eyes and you shouldn’t have because the moment you blinked, she was gone. No one else having seen anything. You cleared your throat, blinking your eyes a few times more as you looked around, your sights landing on the rover in hopes of what? That your deceased friend would be there?

Clarke and Bellamy started walking away but your feet were planted in place. Bellamy paused, seeing you not move. “You coming?”

You looked at him, nodding your head. “Yeah… yeah, I’ll catch up.” You told him. He didn’t say anything as he kept walking taking glances back at you.

You brought your hand up to the back of your neck, feeling the spot where the flame was inserted. The flame? Lexa? The voice?

What the hell?

A/N: Well it’s been a while! Feedback is greatly appreciated and yeah, especially since it’s been a few weeks since I posted Banished. 

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[myhiraeth]

GINA A. MARTIN. / DOSSIER

TAGS. /

                             iisms || headcanons || aesthetics || visage || wishlist

GENERAL. / all verses

name: Gina Aylin Martin dob: sep 26 (libra)  orientation: bisexual / biromantic traits:        + Compassionate, Diplomatic, Practical, Resilient, Tactful        - Dissatisfied, Passive, Predictable, Smug, Worrier

notable connections: Craig Martin (father), Megan Martin (mother), Bellamy Blake ( friends, former classmates, briefly dated ) , Octavia Blake ( love-hate, plotted with @headstrongblake​​ and open to interpretation ) , Raven Reyes ( friends ) ,

BIO. / t100 verse

affiliation: Ark -> Factory Station (former) , Earth (former) , Sanctum (current as of s7) notable features: multiple stab scars around her ribs and midsection, 3rd degree burns on right side of body ( lower neck, shoulder, upper back, midback )

BACKGROUND:

Born in Factory Station, Gina longed to be a teacher from a young age. She studied to be a teacher on the Ark and worked part time as a research assistant on Go-Sci in the meantime to bring in income to her family. The Martins were not well off- as weren’t most families in Factory Station- but they were an affectionate family, and while Gina occasionally wanted for non-necessities, she didn’t lack love or attention, and in her younger years her apartment was often open to her friends to spend time in as her parents worked opposite shifts.

Gina lost both her parents to the culling, when they volunteered in order to give her more time to hopefully reach Earth. With no family, recently certified to teach, quick to pick up little details, sharp without being disrespectful, and a determination to succeed, Gina was given a spot on Alpha Station when it came down and thus survived the landing and helped put together Camp Jaha / Arkadia. You’ll often find her on supply runs and in the mess hall where she keeps up with the running of the food and water storage while trying to talk the powers-that-be into setting up classes for the kids on Earth.

MOUNT WEATHER EXPLOSION:

Stabbed three times in Mount Weather, the assassin misses any vital organs or blood vessels and once he’s gone Gina radios to Raven and Sinclair as canon. Suffering from blood loss and not thinking clearly, she tries to stumble toward the mess hall, realizing less than a minute is a dangerous amount of time to have to take out a grounder, and thinks she can warn the others.

She’s by the door outside when she hears the explosion set and dives out the door and around the corner of it, hoping to avoid the worst of the blast, saving herself and leaving the Farm Station residents to die in the mountain. The instinctive choice still haunts her. She’s thrown with the blast, sustaining 3rd degree burns and falling unconscious into a coma that will last 14 days and she will wake up the day Lincoln is executed and Bellamy is taken to The Cave with the resistance.

SEASON BREAKDOWN:

SEASON 4 / BUNKER - Gina is part of the teams helping Raven, and is aware of the 6-month time frame and keeps that information to herself despite her and Raven’s better judgement.

Gina stays behind with Octavia when Bellamy and Clarke go looking for Raven. It’s a tough choice, but she trusts Bellamy to not leave her friend behind, and she promises to watch out for Octavia in his absence.

Gina finally becomes a teacher in the bunker, helping organize the teachers of the clans to ensure that no one’s culture is erased and all the children get equal teaching.

SEASON 5 - Gina is released with the remaining Bunker residents, but errs on the side of caution in both the war between Wonkru and Eligius and the brewing tensions between Wonkru and Spacekru. Gina’s main concern in this time are the children she’s spent the last 6 years teaching and getting to know, many of whom no longer have their parents through either initial sacrifice to enter the bunker or the fighting pit.

SEASONS 6/7 - in progress.

BIO. / modern verse 

occupation: bartender / student  major: business management 

BACKGROUND: 

• Gina's parents own a local bar, Martins that her great-grandfather started and had been family owned and operated for over 70 years.

• Gina as her parent's only child has been expected to take over the bar when she's older, and she's always been content with this future. She currently bartends at Martins as she's finishing up school with a business degree.

• Gina likes the bar, she likes getting to know people, likes being the sterotypical helpful bartender that people tell their problems to, she likes the logic and technicalities of actually running a bar, and she likes having a place where she can offer part time jobs to the various kids she semi-adopts.

• If asked, she wouldn't be able to tell you she loved the idea of being tied to the bar in the town where she grew up, but she also wouldn't be able to tell you what she'd rather do instead. If pressed, she'd eventually come to the conclusion that she'd like to teach in third world countries. See the world, help some children. That's her dream.

• She has a spare room in the house she's renting, and anyone that needs a place to stay overnight or for a few nights are always welcome to one of the two twin beds in that spare room. She has a bit of a problem unofficially adopting the delinquents and making sure they’re all taken care of. 

[atmyhiraeth]

Gina A. Martin. / DOSSIER 

name: Gina Aylin Martin  dob: sep 26 orientation: bisexual / biromantic  affiliation: Ark -> Factory Station (former) , Earth (former) , Sanctum (current as of s7)  notable features: multiple stab scars around her ribs and midsection, 3rd degree burns on right side of body ( lower neck, shoulder, upper back, midback )  traits:           + Compassionate, Diplomatic, Practical, Resilient, Tactful           - Dissatisfied, Passive, Predictable, Smug, Worrier  notable connections: Bellamy Blake ( friends, former classmates, briefly dated ) , Octavia Blake ( love-hate, plotted with @headstrongblake​ and open to interpretation ) , Raven Reyes ( friends ) , Jacapo Sinclair ( friends )

BACKGROUND: 

Born in Factory Station, Gina longed to be a teacher from a young age. She studied to be a teacher on the Ark and worked part time as a research assistant on Go-Sci in the meantime to bring in income to her family. The Martins were not well off- as weren’t most families in Factory Station- but they were an affectionate family, and while Gina occasionally wanted for non-necessities, she didn’t lack love or attention, and in her younger years her apartment was often open to her friends to spend time in as her parents worked opposite shifts. 

Gina lost both her parents to the culling, when they volunteered in order to give her more time to hopefully reach Earth. With no family, recently certified to teach, quick to pick up little details, sharp without being disrespectful, and a determination to succeed, Gina was given a spot on Alpha Station when it came down and thus survived the landing and helped put together Camp Jaha / Arkadia. You’ll often find her on supply runs and in the mess hall where she keeps up with the running of the food and water storage while trying to talk the powers-that-be into setting up classes for the kids on Earth. 

MOUNT WEATHER EXPLOSION:

Stabbed three times in Mount Weather, the assassin misses any vital organs or blood vessels and once he’s gone Gina radios to Raven and Sinclair as canon. Suffering from blood loss and not thinking clearly, she tries to stumble toward the mess hall, realizing less than a minute is a dangerous amount of time to have to take out a grounder, and thinks she can warn the others. 

She’s by the door outside when she hears the explosion set and dives out the door and around the corner of it, hoping to avoid the worst of the blast, saving herself and leaving the Farm Station residents to die in the mountain. The instinctive choice still haunts her. She’s thrown with the blast, sustaining 3rd degree burns and falling unconscious into a coma that will last 14 days and she will wake up the day Lincoln is executed and Bellamy is taken to The Cave with the resistance. 

SEASON BREAKDOWN: 

SEASON 4 / BUNKER - Gina is part of the teams helping Raven, and is aware of the 6-month time frame and keeps that information to herself despite her and Raven's better judgement.

 Gina stays behind with Octavia when Bellamy and Clarke go looking for Raven. It's a tough choice, but she trusts Bellamy to not leave her friend behind, and she promises to watch out for Octavia in his absence.

Gina finally becomes a teacher in the bunker, helping organize the teachers of the clans to ensure that no one's culture is erased and all the children get equal teaching.

SEASON 5 - Gina is released with the remaining Bunker residents, but errs on the side of caution in both the war between Wonkru and Eligius and the brewing tensions between Wonkru and Spacekru. Gina’s main concern in this time are the children she’s spent the last 6 years teaching and getting to know, many of whom no longer have their parents through either initial sacrifice to enter the bunker or the fighting pit. 

SEASONS 6/7 - in progress.

[callieshipman]

For the ship asks - not EXACTLY a ship question (unless you ship it?), but I know you love Monty and I was wondering what you thought about his interactions with Octavia. Do you think they could have been good friends if they had more interaction, or were they destined to be adversaries? Who would influence who and how so? Gimme your thoughts on this underappreciated dynamic! xoxo PS - just in case I haven't mentioned it today, I love Murven.

luckily you had mentioned you love murven today or i might have forgotten!

As for Monty and Octavia, there’s a LOT to say. Look, I’m even being grammatically correct for this one! Under the cut, because it gets loooong.

They have a really lovely dynamic in Season 1. There’s some light teasing (maybe something close to flirting?) in the pilot when Monty says “note to self: next time save the girl” and she laughs, as well as him picking the poison sumac out of her hair. But I think for the most part, Monty has seen that Jasper has a crush on Octavia, so he’s not really going there. She’s also the first person he opens up to about Jasper (”He’s not my real brother, but he’s always been there”) and they have a sweet bonding moment there.

Typing this up makes me wonder if part of their bonding was over living in people’s shadows? Octavia is looking for an identity outside being the girl under the floor and Bellamy Blake’s brother, Monty is living in Jasper’s shadow, a plot which continues to develop through the season. They’re both in codependent relationships that are good and bad for them.

They’re also both blunt people with a tendency to call out behaviour they aren’t impressed with- particularly in Bellamy and Clarke. I think both of them serve quite moral roles in early seasons, wanting to save lives, be honest with their people, and trust in the good in people. 

Unfortunately, Octavia goes off in the opposite direction whilst Monty stays on that track. Monty somewhat lampshaded that when he asked her why she wasn’t a total basket case, so I think the conclusion is that the difference between them stems from the fact that Octavia is already an unstable and stunted person who grew up in a limited social context, whereas Monty presumably had quite a secure childhood (my thoughts on his mother are a WHOLE separate post). Additionally, Monty seems to form other secure relationships in Jasper’s absence from s3 onwards, but Octavia falls apart when her brother does.

Despite that, Monty brings Octavia back into the fold in Season 3, with the “You’re one of the 100” speech and killing his mother for her. There’s definitely a real fondness between them, even though Octavia is withdrawn and angry, and Monty is clearly impatient and prickly. Interestingly, Octavia seems better at empathetic connections than Monty does, but he is more balanced.

Monty attempts to bring her back again in Season 4, trying to stop her execution of Ilian and telling her this isn’t who she is. Whatever he says to people, he tends to maintain faith in them for a long time. 

They’re not as friendly in Season 5. Monty calls her a dictator, she tells him that farmers can’t save the world. They are trying to solve the same problem, but Octavia is traumatised and trapped in a leadership position, and Monty has found peace and self-acceptance and has never been made to be a leader. Or has he never been allowed to be a leader? No one listened to his ideas until he was dead! I also don’t believe he was actively threatening Octavia’s life in the “Let’s kill Octavia,” scene as much as he was calling Clarke and Bellamy out on their hypocrisy again. Octavia calls them out too, though she’s notably more hostile. “Traitor who you love”, anyone?

The burning of the algae farm is a point of no return for their relationship. He literally offers her flowers, and she burns down the whole thing. Mockingly calls him and Harper “Adam and Eve”. Octavia, at this point, rejects the Garden of Eden as a paradise, because she no longer believes in it and Monty still does. He never gets to properly confront her about this, but he’s clearly devastated. 

Octavia takes away the choice, and Monty makes another one. He gives up his life with his friends, and dies to take them somewhere else, picking a third option. It’s a choice that Octavia would not, at that point, have been able to make. Her identity is too fractured and hinged on other people to live out the rest of her life alone. Monty had enough peace, security in his family, and belief in himself and humanity to make his choice.

And Octavia calls him a coward. Granted, she’s only trying to goad Jordan into killing her, which doesn’t work because just like his dad, he won’t give up on people. Ultimately, it shows the crucial difference between them- Monty wanted peace, Octavia wanted to win.

I think she’s taken that on board this season. She was given a second chance twice- once by Monty, once by the anomaly. She’s had a lovely redemption arc, and is taking her lessons onboard. She even tells Bellamy and Clarke that if they can save innocent lives, they should, and risks her life to follow through on that. It can’t all be the anomaly. I think she’s allowed Monty to bring her back from the brink one more time.

So to answer your question (finally!) I don’t think they were ever adversaries. They didn’t hate each other as people, just each other’s means to an end. And they have a lot in common, they gel well, and bring out fun, honesty, and goodness in each other. They could have been good friends, but circumstances and their different approaches to coping pushed them apart each time. In the wake of Monty’s death, I think she looks back on him with affection and considers him a friend, and I think he must have thought the same of her when he told them to do better, and be the good guys.

I haven’t proofread this, it might be bullshit! But thank you for asking, it gave me a lot to think about and I love getting to talk about Monty and Octavia.

[sometimesrosy]

The 100 s5 rewatch, 5.01 Eden

Hey guys. I don’t know how these are going to turn out. The last time i did a liveblog of my rewatch it was 1-2-3. I’m not sure I have more insight to add, but my enjoyment. I am bellarke focused, but not solely bellarke, and I’m looking for things I’ve missed before. 

I also haven’t been participating in bellarkefamselfienight for various reasons, but mostly because every time I try, my icloud is not cooperating and it’s this whole big hassle and nah. So I thought I’d push to get this out for bfsn. If there are a lot of typos it’s because i’m a crap typist and I’m trying to write as I watch. So. be forewarned.

If you want me to tag you drop me a note. Or removed from the tags. :) I like liveblogs and rewatches and new watcher reactions so if you do it you can tag me too.

@captainwilldameron @kizo2703 @levivlio @kickthatassgirl @jeanie205 @starboybellamy @ezraewrites @alightinadarkland  @emmyisgrey @irisouy

  Here we go

First shot it the ring and then it slides through and down to earth, with Clarke digging out of the lab to a desolate land. Her outfit is good though. She hikes across the dry ocean bed, back to the spot where flokru left their stone markers and she digs up the rover. 210 miles to Polis but it’s nothing but a wasteland and the tower is down. She’s trying to dig the bunker out by hand. Screaming for her mom and telling her she’s here and eating tiny bits of ration bars. Ooh she finds the throne, is that he CL theme? Ooo but she collapses the whole tower from trying to get that staff out of the throne.

Oh voiceover. Who are you talking to Clarke? Who? Oh that’s right. Bellamy. 2 months alone, the tower collapsed, she heads to Arcadia and it’s the first time she feels alone. Maya’s iPod, Jasper’s goggles MOnty’s note. Poor Clarke. Now we see the voiceover is a call on the radio. Static. “Anyway I doubt you can hear me on this piece of crap radio… but please don’t feel bad about leaving me here. You did what you had to do. I’m proud of you.” Definitely to Bellamy.

Finally rain. She hasn’t had water in days. Now that she’s had water she seems much better. Eating bugs off the windshield. I LOVE when she digs the bugs off the grate and scarfs them down like they are delicious. Lol. But uh oh. We have a dangerous storm coming and she’s got to cover up from the elements too late for the solar panels. CLose the windows Clarke. Save yourself. Was that one of the glass storms? Ahh she’s heading for Farm Station and then the Solar Fields to get new solar panels for the rover. That’s when she dares the earth to kill her. And it almost does.

Dropping Lxa’s staff. Dropping Jaspers goggles. Dropping her coat and pack and falling to her knees in the desert. Now just falling. The vulture is trying to EAT her, and then she’s like wait It’s ALIVE. The first thing she sees is more desert, and then tumbles down the dune. Screaming Clarke.

“I”ve lost everything I”ve lost my friends, my father my mother. I’ve got nothing left!” Crying. Heading for the gun. And putting it to her head but there’s the vulture again. Follow it Clarke follow it.

There’s Eden. Heavenly music. “Thank You,” She says to the vulture and then shoots it.

That’s so Clarke.

Here’s Clarke eating in Eden. More voiceover. This one’s important to the whole season I think, and perhaps leads her, later, to  deciding to be the good guy. It’s showing how much she’s changed from the first Clarke, in season 1.

--I used to think life was about more than just surviving, but I’m not so sure anymore. Animals don’t feel guilty when they kill, they just do it. They kill or they get killed.

I tell myself that every life I took was for a reason. But the truth is the other side had reasons too. The grounders, the mountain men, even ALIE, their reasons to want us dead were the same as ours. It was us or them. Kill or be killed. Simple as that. So what now? What becomes of the commander of death when there is nothing left to kill. I guess we’ll find out now, because my fight is over. The question is, who am I now?”

She’s in the river, swimming. Being washed clean….

So that voiceover. That was talking to Bellamy, wasn’t it? She was having her moral dilemma to Bellamy.

She finds the village.

--Wait til you see this place. It’s like the death wave jumped over the entire valley. Unfortunately the radiation didn’t. “

Dead kids. Dead bodies. Just like in Mount Weather. Eerie

--I’ve lost track of how many bodies we’ve burned since reaching the ground. God this would be so much easier if I knew you were alive. If I knew I was going to see you again. Positive thoughts, Clarke.”

We see her sitting at a table now, her tone of voice much happier. The radio is back.  Joking about how the algae must suck but she found berries. Just talking to Bellamy. When you realize she’s just talking to him, and you know it lasts for 2199 days, it seems so sad and lonely. Oh look, she’s drawing the rocket taking off right now. So she’s thinking about when they left her and talking to them. Wait no. She sees a person. Madi.

Madi is a little hell child. Running from her. THen Clarke steps in the bear trap and Madi tells the fleimkepa to die and stabs her until she realizes she’s a night blood too and runs away. Hell child.

Clarke limps back to the cafe to sew her leg back up. I think I heard that they actually made that a lot less gory than they were going to. Poor Clarke, sweating and panting and now she’s asleep and Madi steals all her damn stuff! Hell child!

But she gets better, now limping around on Lxa’s staff and watching Madi spear fish.

“Last two people on earth and one of them happens to be the child from hell.

But there she is drawing a picture of Madi by the water. Clever Clarke lures her in with a picture of herself. And leaves. Madi comes closer and the music is suddenly soft and gentle.

Cut to grown Madi getting out of the rover and Clarke having caught fish. They’re going to get hair dye. Now the hair dying. Madi is talking about Clarke’s stories and her heroes, especially Octavia. Clarke says she’s not sorry they left without her because if she was with them she never would have met her.

“What about them? DO you think they’ll come back too?” Clarke says. The music changes to something longing and the camera pans up to Bellamy in the ring staring out the window looking at Eden. No words.

Echo and Raven sparring. Monty calling dinner and Raven using the distraction to get Echo.

“This isn’t eating it’s surviving,” harper said.

Ahh spacerkru. Eden is still just a dot and Raven and Bellamy are fighting over radiation, radios and living on earth while drinking green swill.

Emori likes spacewalks and likes to play outside in the void. While Bellamy is hassling Raven about not getting them to earth for 6 years and 7 days. They said they wouldn’t talk about it and Bellamy says sorry, and takes his punishment to check on Murphy.

Murphy jumps on his back, the troll. And Bellamy just rolls with it. He wants Murphy to come back to the others if he wins their sparring and Murphy says no because there’s no one to disappoint here, then he sucker punches Bellamy. They are so cute together. I mean they’re fighting but they’re not angry.

“You know what your problem is? You like being a hero. Except up here, there are no heroes.” I like the character development of s1 asshole murphy missing being the hero. Outcast murphy being DECLARED a hero. He just wanted to belong, and now he does...only he has problems with that, belonging. And Bellamy’s trying to force him to love himself. 

SO like down on Eden, we’ve got Clarke saying the good guys and bad guys are the same and life is just about survival, because that way she doesn’t feel guilt. And up there in space, Bellamy is saying there are no heroes and Murphy is afraid to be useless again. Then they spar and Bellamy pins him, “You’re not worthless, Murphy,” and he sees the Eligius. Immediately they’re back as a team, even if they don’t agree about communicating with Eligius. Murphy just wants to get to the ground and Bellamy wants to find out who they are first.

That clip of Clarke and Madi seeing the Eligius is a clip from s4. It’s the other actress that played Madi but you don’t see her face.

THERE’S the real Madi.  THey’re running from the Eligius, and Madi want to think that they are good guys but Clarke isn’t taking any chances. She’s going to be the girl under the floor.

Diyoza in armor and a mask revealed to be a pretty lady. She thinks it’s all clear when she’s got Wanheda scoping her. Oh the prisoners are just swarming. There’s shaw who looks dashing, and McCreary who looks like some sort of dangerous scorpion. “Non violent offenders with me?” Shaw says. “Yeah both of them.”

“You’re still my favorite mass murderer,” she says to McCreary. That’s just because she hasn’t met OUR mass murderers.

I love her little journal of their weapons, just like Lincoln had.

Except she hears then and comes running because some prisoner is going to shoot Madi. While the other guy is like leave the little kid aloe. Then Clarke shoots him and goes after the other one. Oh nope. Madi takes out the other prisoner. Her first kill.

Madi tries to keep Clarke from killing the other prisoner because she thinks he’s one of the good guys, and Clarke says, “There are no good guys.”

That’s important. The idea of good guys, heroes, who are they now?

Back to spacekru and Monty doesn’t want to go because they’ve been safe for 6 years. He doesn’t want to take the risk.

He doesn’t want to do it again, to have to be so strong. “No one should have to be that strong.”

Emori doesn’t want anything to do with Murphy and he packed her pack for her. Raven says he blew a good thing, because she’s annoyed about having a roommate for 6 months. He says it’s because she couldn’t get them back to the ground.

Bellamy’s final sweep to pick up Echo. “What are we gonna be now, Bellamy?”

“Nothing is gonna change on the ground.”

“I wish that were true.

“Oh I know it is.We kept each other alive. We’re family and nothing can change that.”

He thinks Octavia will understand, but then panics about her not being okay. Because she’ll forgive her too. “Bellamy, it took you three years.”

“Well I’m more stubborn than she is. Whatever it is down there Octavia will be the least of our worries.”

Smash cut to Octavia leading her death cult.

Oh Bellamy. That is like one full minute of famous lasts words, buddy.

[dimpledsarcasm]

Little Text I wrote waaaay back when they released the teaser pics (you know the one of them around the campfire?)

Clarke you didn’t kill him. You didn’t kill him. Is all that was going through my head as my eyes flitted to Bellamy beside me. He was next to me, but so so so far.

Although it happened 125 years ago I still couldn’t get over it. Ha you’re hilarious I snorted to myself.

Apparently Bellamy couldn’t get over it too. Yeah that’s why he held you when Jordan played us Monty’s video.

My eyes flitted to him again, but he wasn’t staring at me, he wasn’t even staring at the fire and was instead looking out at the landscape. What I would give to know what was going on in his head… There was a time when I used to know exactly what he was thinking, but that phase was long past.

My eyes raked over his side profile. The beard he grew in the years we were apart, the fire cast shadows on his face, but his freckles were ever more prominent. God I had forgotten how many freckles he has. His unruly brown hair, that was currently being stroked by Echo. My eyes moved to her, only to realize she was already staring at me. The hatred in her eyes was unmistakable. I couldn’t blame her, I had left the guy she loved for dead.

My eyes moved back to the fire. Never in a million years did I think I would let Bellamy die.  I had let a village be bombed for him, I couldn’t even kill him to save the human race. Damn I’m pathetic… and a horrible person. I added as an afterthought.

I wonder what would’ve happened if he had never opened that door 131 years ago, if I had shot him. The Blakes would both be dead. I’d be a pariah and heartbroken— yeah as though you aren’t that now. But, I wouldn’t have been separated from my mom, “Wonkru” would never have happened, nor the cannabilism… But I wouldn’t have met Madi. I wouldn’t be a mom.

My head had gone through all of those scenarios in the 6 year period where it was just me and Madi on the surface of the earth. What if the shot hadn’t killed him, but just disabled him. He never would have forgiven me for Octavia’s death, but… No Madi, remember Madi Clarke.

I sighed. At least he was alive. That’s all I could tell myself. I looked at him again, Echo be damned, at least he was alive.

I still couldn’t get over the beard. He looked like a man now, no longer the reckless man-child, all heart and no brain, he’d been way back when. No, now he was a mature, self-assured individual and I’m sure the woman holding him is what led to that.  

I closed my eyes and looked at the ground. Damn I miss the days where I could suppress my feelings, where they didn’t affect everything I did. Didn’t they though Clarke?  

For once, I could utterly disagree with my internal voice. No, they didn’t. Even when I was with Lexa, she encouraged me to think with my head. My heart twinged. Her face flashed before my eyes, hair to the side, brown eyes wide filled with happiness and… love, lips parted in lust. How self-assured she’d become in bed. I smirked.

Then her face flashed before my eyes again, but this time dark blood pouring out of her mouth, eyes wide in shock and lungs heaving up in down, taking in her last breaths. I closed my eyes tighter, forcing the image out of my head. It’d taken me a long time for that not to be the thing I saw whenever I closed my eyes— well whenever I closed my eyes other images flashed by; the expanding bloodstain on FInn’s shirt when I stabbed him, Well’s makeshift grave, Anya’s mud-spattered face as she died, Jasper cradling Maya’s radiation-destroyed body, my dad’s face filling up the screens of the Ark knowing he’d be sentenced to death, the—

“Clarke?” I snapped out of my reverie.

“What?” I asked breathless

“We’ve been trying to talk to you for the past couple minutes,” Echo said with an edge to her voice,  “If you’re not alert Clarke you’ll put us all in danger.” I looked at her. There were so many things I wanted to say and even though my eyes flashed in anger, I exercised master restraint.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” I said, trying my best to keep any anger out of my voice. She wasn’t worth it. I would not let her get the best of me. Not to mention, she was also right, we were on a foreign planet with who knows what out there and I couldn’t afford to be off my game… Man, what a familiar feeling, I snorted.

“Clarke?!” Echo said.

“Yes, yes, what were you talking about?” Shaw chuckled and I ignored Bellamy’s concerned eyes, I could feel his stare burning into my skin and I felt a blush rising to my cheeks, thank god I could blame it on the fire.

“Well, we were discussing as to where we should be headed tomorrow, downstream or upstream the river.” Miller said. I glanced at him.

“Wouldn’t upstream be best? There’s an advantage to higher ground.” I replied automatically.

“Yes, but as I was saying, downstream obviously will bring us to a larger body of water and that’ll be important for farming, not to mention that if we need to get away or cover our tracks we can just hope in and float or hike down.” She explained.

“While that might be true, we still don’t know if the water is drinkable, not to mention what’s the weather on this planet? If it’s flashfloods, we’ll be grateful for the higher ground.” I retorted.

“Bellamy already said that.” Echo say flatly.

“Oh. Well, then I agree with him.” I replied feeling my cheeks heat up. My eyes flickered to Bellamy to see him staring at me intensely. There was a flash of a smirk on his face and I looked away, the blush creeping up my neck.

“Figures.” Muttered Echo.

“Okay well let’s put it to a vote. Upstream?” Jackson said looking around. I raised my hand, so did Bellamy, Shaw and Miller. He paused, “I guess it’s decided.”

“Whatever.” Echo huffed and went back to stroking Bellamy’s hair.

~~~~~~~

While being alone with Madi and my radio it had seemed simple.

We woke up in the morning and gather berries from the surrounding area, in later years, we’d make jam and spread it on edible bark. Once we’d had our breakfast, I’d teach Madi some theory, we’d go through English, history, science… all of the things I learnt on the Ark, I tried to teach her. Next, Wwed go swimming then we would dry off and have a quick lunch of smoked meat (whatever we caught the night before would have been stewing till we ate it).

In the afternoon, I’d move on to practical training, fighting skills, weapon making, sewing wounds, hunting and later, driving. Madi’s village was a peaceful refuge for vegetarians, from what I could deduce, so Madi knew a few things— mostly what she had learned on her own before I showed up. She was a star pupil, or maybe I was a good teacher? I think it was a bit of both.

In late afternoon, we’d set up camp, initially Madi would collect wood and eventually we’d start taking turns making food, we’d sharpen and clean our weapons and I would sneak off with my radio to chat with Bellamy. It didn’t take long for Madi to deduce what I was doing so this was unofficially declared the moment in the day for alone time.

For supper we’d eat a mix of the meat or fish we caught and some random vegetables that Madi had dubbed yellow strings. And then we’d get ready for bed. I would draw a bit, Madi would practice her writing as well as drawing the star maps I taught her and we’d end the night with my telling her stories about my friends. It was our quiet peaceful routine.

Quiet. Simple. Easy.

It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. On the ark, although I’d had a pretty sheltered childhood, it was always about rationing, best behaviour at all times and a lot of wondering what earth was like. Not to mention the grief. The grief when my friends’ parents were sentenced to treason and got floated, grief for the nonstop bullying Wells and I got, grief for my dad getting floated, grief because I thought I was going to be floated…

When I finally made it to earth, the grief didn’t change. It became tenfold and next came stress, survival stress. Basically it was do or die. I ended up taking charge. I guess I had been bred for it. But, that’s essentially what happened. Of course Bellamy and I butt heads initially due to it. He was the de facto leader and I, princess (god I hate that nickname), swooped in to challenge his every move. Of course, it wasn’t my fault his every move was the opposite of what I thought needed to be done…

But then people started dropping like flies, we were picked off by the grounders one by one and our morals were questioned to the point that even calling them morals is a hoax you used to sleep at night.  Of course I also fell in love and had sex, etc.

Then our ‘reinforcements’ came and that ended up being a mess as well. I ended up killing the boy I loved and would later murder an entire mountain full of people.

I fell in love again and then watched that person die too. Then I had to worry about a stupid crazy homicidal robot starting a cult ridding people of free will.

And the last couple months before the Earth went to hell was spent on figuring out how to save the human race. Saving the human race was the mantra that had been ingrained in me from the very beginning. On the Ark, I learnt that nothing really mattered a part from saving the human race. Nothing else.

So when primfaya happened and I was the only person left on the surface of the earth (everyone else was either underground or in space)… Well, thank god for Madi because otherwise, I definitely wouldn’t of made it. My mentality of saving the human race transferred onto Madi. I became her default mom, and her, my daughter and she was all that mattered. Still talking to a preteen girl for 6 years wasn’t exactly socializing in my opinion.

Which is why it wasn’t only Madi and I. It was Madi, I and Bellamy, or rather a radio, but I just maintained the idea that he could hear me and couldn’t respond. I knew that was total bullshit, you don’t hang out with Raven Rayes for ages and not realize that the radio waves would not be making it past the radiation clouding the earth, let alone through space to the revived Ark.

Yeah no way he even knew I was alive. But, I pretended anyway, because the alternative— the idea that I truly was alone and couldn’t talk to Bellamy, or worse that Bellamy and the others hadn’t actually made it to safety— well there’s only so much a person can take before going insane. So, I spoke to my radio. I told Bellamy all of my fears, all of the little victories, like when Madi wrote her first English sentence or when I found the edible bark, I told him about the new discoveries and my theories on what to do next. I spoke to him about Lexa, and Finn, and Wells. I told him everything. In one of my loneliest (horniest) moments I told him the fact that I missed having sex, masturbation just wasn’t cutting it anymore (that was never mentioned again)…

So, seeing him again, after speaking to him everyday for 6 years? Well, that was a pretty massive shock to my system, not to mention that he had gotten even hotter during that time.

Those 6 years had given me plenty of time to deal with Lexa’s death and realize I was completely and utterly in love with Bellamy. Of course I also acknowledged that it was the Clarke of 6 years ago that was in love with the Bellamy of 6 years ago… Somehow that didn’t translate into my brain when I first saw him. Instead all I wanted to do was discreetly pinch myself, because there was no way he was here with me. The second was, this must be true because even my imagination wouldn’t have been able to fathom how hot he’d be with a beard. And we fell back into this routine of Clarke and Bellamy.

Quiet. Simple. Easy.

Granted we were also dealing with his sister, Octavia, turned overzealous-dictator, a shitton of ex-felons and a war on the last survivable place on earth… But it didn’t matter because it was Bellamy and I and we could do this.

At least I thought we could. That is until I saw Echo run into his arms for a PG13 make out session, that is until he called ‘spacecru’ his family and didn’t include me, that is until he betrayed me by turning my daughter into a weapon… putting her directly in the bloodthirsty vision of Octavia who’s homicidal tendencies seemed to have gone on steroids since having last encountered her above ground.

So I left him to die.

Alright I know, stupid move, clearly turning Madi into the head of Wonkru was the best, most nondestructive choice at the time, but I didn’t see it that way and I reacted brashly. I still needed to apologize for that I guess. It was interesting that he had forgiven me so quickly though, blaming it on my “mama bear instincts” (he finally recognized what Madi meant to me). The speed in which he had been quick to lose that grudge really proved to me that he definitely was no longer my Bellamy. He seemed to be a mature, level-headed, amazing man that I no longer knew. We are strangers. And that probably broke my heart more than seeing him with Echo did.

I removed my eyes from the fire and looked around me. Actually all of these people were strangers now and for the quadrillionth time since primfaya I felt like bawling my eyes out.

That was something I discovered during those 6 years—how utterly emotive I could be. Jeez the emotion oozing out of me disgusted me. But, because I was able to focus it on Madi all this time it was okay. Except Madi was still in cryosleep and I was here with a guy I might possibly still love, his girlfriend (who hated me), a random-ass stranger that was cool, and just an overall blast from the past couple of friends, not too mention I had just found out that two of my closest friends had lived an entire life together filled with happiness and a peaceful ending so that we could live, so that the human race could survive.

Yeah my poor isolated self could not keep up with the varying situations.

I got up, feeling angsty. I definitely needed to loosen some of the tension I felt building up.

[truthbeetoldmedia]

The 100 6x09 "What You Take With You" Review

Episode 6x09 of The 100, “What You Take With You,” written by Nikki Goldwaser and directed by Marshall Virtue, saw the return of Clarke, Octavia finally starting down the path to redemption, the return of some old friends, and a farewell to another. Without further ado, let’s dive in! 

After Octavia came sprinting back out of the anomaly at the end of the last episode, Gabriel desperately wanted to know what happened in there. He’s been waiting 150 years for someone to go into the anomaly and tell him what it’s like (why doesn’t he just… go into it himself?) and Octavia is the first person to ever come back out of it. But she can’t remember anything. Gabriel has an idea — a concentrated form of the red sun toxin that they have used in the past to uncover hidden memories. He mixes up a concoction to inject into her arm, and Octavia slips into a spiritual journey. 

She finds herself alone in his hut, faced with two glowing boxes. The green one has angelic music, voices whispering her name. Then the glowing red box appears, rattling, angry voices emanating from within. We also distinctly see a photo of Josephine on the same table as that box. Octavia has to choose: green for the anomaly, or red for the Red Queen? The sounds coming from the red box definitely bring back images of the fighting pit Octavia ruled over, which makes me wonder if the gentle sounds coming from the green box are also associated with a period in her past, a period of time in the anomaly that she found peace. She opens the red box and a swarm of red, glowing butterflies pour out, reminding us of the innocent moment in Season 1 where Octavia followed glowing blue butterflies. When the butterflies clear, Octavia is standing in the fighting arena, angry members of Wonkru shouting and beating on the fences, Blodreina looking down on her. We also see a large strip of cloth covered in symbols that are familiar to us — we see them in the new opening sequence — but not to Octavia. She flashes back to moments in the bunker, and then further, as she stabs Pike through the gut, as she sentences Bellamy to fight in the pit, as she kills her own people to make them eat human flesh, as she leads them into the gorge to be slaughtered. Octavia tries to flee the pit, but finds herself chained down, and instead collapses into the fetal position and sobs.

After what seems like a long time, the door to the arena swings open, and in walks Pike. Their conversation was so poignant that I just have to share the whole thing here. He tells Octavia that they have unfinished business, and she denies it, simplifying their story to: “You killed Lincoln, and you died for it. End of story.” 

“Was it? You think murdering someone in cold blood, even someone you have reason to hate, is justifiable?” “Yes.”

“And yet, it turned you into this.” [He gestures at the pit]

“Think what you want, I’m not here for you.”

“No. You’re here because of me. The path to the future goes through the past, Miss Blake. Psychology 101. We are what we’ve done and what’s been done to us. Now, you’ve had a rough go, I’ll give you that. And it’s made your dark side strong. I suppose you needed that, to protect yourself under the floor. But what about now? Who are you now? What do you want, Octavia?”

“I want you gone.”

“You tried that; it didn’t take. It has to be something else.”

“I want to know what happened inside the anomaly. That’s why I’m here.” “Maybe nothing happened. Or maybe you’re not supposed to know! They don’t call it the anomaly for nothing. What I know is, you chose the red box, so stop wasting my time and answer my damn question! What do you want? … Okay. Because class is in session, allow me to facilitate the discussion. How does it feel to know that… everyone hates you, everyone you care about, even your brother?”

“Not good.”

“Oh, I expect not. But that’s not the worst part, is it? You hate yourself too.”

[Octavia starts crying]

“Good. One more time. What do you want?” “Forgiveness.” “Deeper. Much, much deeper. Forgiveness is for minor offenses. You murdered people to get them to eat their friends and families. And then you burned the farm to get them to march, because you couldn’t live with the idea of not getting to that valley, even when there was another way! You got 400 people killed in that gorge! You caused the world to be destroyed! What you want needs to be earned! Now SAY IT!”

“Redemption.” “What’s that? I can’t hear you.”

“Redemption!”

“Ding ding ding! A gold star for Miss Blake. I was trying to earn mine when you put a sword through me. Which brings us to big question number 2. What are you willing to do to get it?” “What if I don’t deserve it?” “Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.”

Now Blodreina enters the conversation — “Shut up, Pike.” She strides into the arena, and suddenly Pike is in chains too, and there’s a sword at Octavia’s feet. She orders Octavia to kill Pike. “Here we go again,” says Pike. “Doing the same thing and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. Einstein said that.” Pike and Blodreina argue, the angel and devil on her shoulders, and Octavia crumbles to the ground, whispering her old mantra: “I’m not afraid.” Blodreina holds her sword at Pike’s throat. “Charles Pike of Farm Station,” she begins, and Octavia flashes to a memory of Lincoln on his knees in the mud. “You have been sentenced to death in accordance to the laws of Wonkru,” Blodreina continues. Octavia flashes again to Pike saying a very similar thing as he prepares to execute Lincoln. “Any last words?” Blodreina asks. “Not for you,” reply Lincoln and Pike. Pike looks at Octavia and repeats Lincoln’s last words; “May we meet again” in Trigedasleng. Octavia tearfully leaps to her feet and blocks Blodreina from executing Pike, and in doing so, she breaks the cycle. Pike vanishes, and Blodreina charges Octavia. The two even fight differently now; Blodreina wild and reckless, Octavia careful and guarded. The fight ultimately ends with Octavia stabbing Blodreina through the heart and saying in Trig, “Blodreina no more.” She then wakes up on the table in Gabriel’s hut, a tear leaking from her eye.

Octavia has been one of my least favorite characters for several years, and the deciding factor was when she beat Bellamy bloody while he was chained to a rock. Then in Season 4, they teetered on the edge of making her an antagonist, but didn’t have the courage to pull the trigger. Finally, in Season 5, they went full villain with her, which was the most interesting she’d been to me in 2 seasons. But in Season 6, they looked to be trying to start up a redemption arc, but didn’t start with the most important thing: making amends. Octavia justifies why she turned the fighting pit into a source of entertainment, she justifies why she burned down the algae farm and forced her people into an ambush that killed hundreds, she justifies her abuse of people she loves. And then she demands they wipe the slate clean and pretend it never happened — without so much as an apology. Now, finally, finally, we’re seeing Octavia actually work toward redemption. I’m not gonna lie; seeing Pike rip into Octavia like that, exposing her entitled, selfish nature and listing out all the awful things she’s done was one of the most gratifying scenes of television I’ve seen recently. I want to like Octavia again. I’m invested in this redemption story, to see if she actually learns from her drug-induced spiritual journey and does better and works on her problems. (Can you tell I’m all about Monty’s admonition to “do better here”?) The one thing I would have preferred in Octavia’s breaking the cycle would have been for her to just walk out of that fighting pit. I wanted them to show that she doesn’t always have to kill something or someone. They could have had her leave Blodreina to be miserable and fester in her fighting pit, and walk out and be free to start her journey of redemption.

So, what are we thinking about the anomaly? Any theories? Before the season started, I thought the anomaly could be a temporal rift, a place where two universes were touching. That would explain the showdowns between two versions of Octavia we saw in the trailer, and why some dead characters were coming back. Of course, we now know the reasons for both of those, but still aren’t sure what the anomaly is. It definitely seems that time moves differently there; Octavia ran into it with ratty hair and an old lady arm, and came back seconds later completely normal. But it seemed more time had passed for her, though she doesn’t remember what happened in it. I also have a feeling that Diyoza might not come back out, or if she does, she’ll be much older (hence the kid she saw, Hope). Also, I know this connection has been made a million times, but — the anomaly eats up radio messages and spits them back out at random. Can you think of any other important radio calls that went unanswered but have been referenced several times throughout the season? I will eat my hat if Bellamy doesn’t hear Clarke’s radio messages to him at some point here. 

I know a lot of people have picked up on the chemistry between Gabriel and Octavia, I’m not super here for The 100 throwing another love interest at Octavia. She needs to be single and alone and work through her issues because she consistently abuses the people closest to her, who often happen to be people of color — Bellamy, Lincoln, Indra, and likely now Gabriel.

Back in the woods, Bellamy hauls a handcuffed Josephine along to find the Children of Gabriel. Josephine insists that they need to turn back, because they’ll kill her if they find out she’s a Prime, but Bellamy vows he won’t let that happen. And we get yet another instance of a character calling Bellamy or Clarke out on their feelings for each other. “The people you care about are in trouble. I guess you just care about her more,” Josephine accuses him. Bellamy succeeds in finding the Children of Gabriel, but even though they don’t know Josephine is a prime, they still take the two captive and chain them up in a cave that we definitely haven’t seen used before for every cave on Earth. Bellamy tries to tell them that he has information Gabriel needs to know, but the Children don’t seem convinced. While they wait for their fate to be decided, Josephine commiserates with Bellamy about having been in love with and pining for someone for hundreds of years, very clearly implying a parallel with him and Clarke. “What, are we gonna be friends now?” she snarks. “Doubtful,” Bellamy fires back, a clear parallel to him telling Echo that he’d never trust her in Season 4. This clearly means that Bellamy and Josephine are gonna date, right?

And as Josephine tells Bellamy about having been in love with Gabriel for all those years, and how he’s been trying to kill her for the last 70, Clarke taps out through Josephine’s finger in Morse code: B-O-O  H-O-O. Bellamy realizes that Clarke can hear them, and Josephine tells him that means the wall separating their minds is almost gone. Which means Clarke will die soon, and Josephine will download back into her mind drive. Bellamy asks Josephine to let him talk to Clarke, but she refuses, saying she’d have to give over control to do that. But she tells him that since Clarke can hear him, “just say what you want to say.” The Bellarke theme swells as Bellamy looks at her, hope and heartbreak evident in his eyes. “I won’t let you die,” he vows, then turns away before tears can spill over.

“My father was a fool for letting you people stay. All that time spent building a sanctuary for the human race, and he destroys it because of the most human thing of all — love.” She looks at Bellamy and adds, “One look at you — he should have known how this would end.” She’s right; Bellamy is going to tear Sanctum down to save Clarke.

“I guess I’m just saying all this because I know so much about you now.”

“Hmm, you do, huh?”

“Mm-hmm. Take you and Clarke, for instance. Now that’s a weird relationship, isn’t it? First you want to kill her to save your own ass, even though it means the genocide of your own people on the Ark, and then you become besties, bonding over the actual genocide at Mount Weather. ‘Together.’ You lock her up, she locks you up, you leave her on Earth, she leaves you to die in the fighting pits. I mean, it’s exhausting, frankly.”

“Tell me about it.” (And all the Bellarke shippers watching yelled, “RIGHT?!”)

Their captors come back into the cave and prepare Bellamy and Josephine to be moved, saying that the Sanctum riders are coming. Josephine struggles against the man moving her, earning a shove for her trouble. The man picks her back up, but a blonde woman notices a trickle of black blood from her lip. The Children of Gabriel prepare to execute her, despite Bellamy’s frantic pleas. As Bellamy tries to convince them to let her live, Josephine closes her eyes, and when she opens them, we can tell that Clarke is back in control. “Wait!” she calls out, head still on a stone to be beheaded. “Gabriel loves her. Is this what he would want?” The man swings his sword down at her neck, but she kicks his knee and quickly kills or incapacitates the group of people in the cave. Bellamy, eyes shining, can tell Clarke is back in control, and Clarke tells him that Josephine knew she had to give control back to Clarke or get her head cut off. Clarke tries to free Bellamy from the chains still holding him to the cave wall, but more Children of Gabriel approach, and Bellamy tells her to run. She refuses to leave him at first, but he insists, so she dashes off, but not before giving him the key to his cuffs. (Can we just take a second to appreciate Eliza? I know I’m always singing her praises, but she makes a distinct difference between Clarke and Josephine, from her voice to her body language, and it’s so cool to watch.)

Clarke sprints through the woods away from the Children of Gabriel, following the sounds of motorbikes. She manages to flag down the Sanctum riders, who recognize her as Josephine, and take care of her pursuers. Most of the riders take off after the rest of the Children, but Jade stays to get Josephine back to Sanctum. But Clarke hits her over the head with a rock and takes her motorbike for herself. But she’s startled to find Josephine 1.0 standing next to the bike, admonishing her for knocking Jade out. Things are getting worse, Josephine explains, and Clarke needs to give back control. Josephine will just take it back when Clarke falls asleep, anyway. But Clarke grabs Jade’s radio and says, “Gabriel, my name is Clarke Griffin. Josephine Lightbourne is in my head. If you can hear this, we’re coming to you.” When Josephine sees that Clarke isn’t going to go back to Sanctum, she offers to drive the motorbike — but Clarke will have to give over control. But with a smirk, Clarke straddles the bike and starts it. Josephine realizes that, just like she got knowledge from Clarke, Clarke got some of her knowledge. “Sucks, doesn’t it,” Clarke says to her in Mandarin, then puts the helmet on and roars off through the woods. 

After Octavia wakes up, she makes a beeline to one of the motorbikes she and Diyoza left outside Gabriel’s hut. He follows her, asking what she saw in the anomaly, but she still doesn’t know, but she does know what she has to do now. The anomaly gave her a second chance, and now she has to earn it. The two shake hands as Octavia prepares to leave, but then a radio message comes in, one of the Children of Gabriel telling him that they have a prisoner that claims Primes can now make hosts. Then Clarke’s message comes through, and Octavia decides to stay there and wait for Clarke.

On the Eligius ship, Kane is having trouble adjusting to his new life. He looks at his new body, unsettled by not bearing the marks of his past life, but Abby says that he doesn’t ever have to worry about “that” (being killed or nearly killed) ever again. So she’s definitely not gonna be satisfied giving him this one life; she will try to make him live forever and likely do the same herself. I wonder if they gave Abby a lineup to choose from for Kane’s new body, because he sure is hot, and she’s taking every opportunity to get her hands and mouth on him, to the point where I was howling with laughter during a solemn scene. This is how I imagine the scene where Abby picked a new body for Kane playing out (slight NSFW warning for butts):

Also, Marcus “Known Cannibal” Kane telling Abby she tastes different is hilarious considering, you know, “The Dark Year.” There’s also an interesting parallel (or lack thereof?) in one of his conversations with Abby. Bellamy told Echo in the beginning of Season 5 “Nothing is going to change on the ground,” and Abby tells Kane here, “Things will be different on the ground.”

Raven confronts Abby about killing Gavin so Kane can live. She asks Kane if he’s okay with this, but before he can answer, Simone and a group of guards walk in. As Simone and Abby discuss getting the rest of the nightblood serum down to Sanctum so they can make more hosts, Kane notices one of the guards looking at him strangely. “You knew him,” he says to the woman, who tells him that Gavin was her husband. Kane is already horrified, but then the woman asks him to pass a message on to her husband, and Kane realizes the Primes have been lying to the people. The woman leaves to get the shuttle ready to go down to Sanctum, and Kane confronts Simone, despite Abby’s attempts to quiet him. The confrontation was so “Kane” that I’m half convinced they just put prosthetics on HIC’s face to make him look different! After Kane storms off, Raven gives Abby a self-righteous look and says, “I’m not sure it was worth it to him.”

Raven and Kane wake up Indra (!!!!) and she instantly knows something is afoot. Her suspicions are confirmed when Kane 2.0 warmly greets her in Trigedasleng. We later see Indra looking out the window of the ship onto the planet, while Raven and Kane argue. Raven says that she didn’t know until they got to the Eligius ship what Abby was planning, otherwise she wouldn’t have flown the shuttle, and tells Kane that she tried to talk Abby out of it. “Not hard enough,” he replies, much like his response to Bellamy in Season 2 when Bellamy told him that he’d done his best to protect the delinquents against the grounders. Kane can’t believe what Abby has done, and doesn’t understand why, but Indra tells him it’s because Abby loves him. Kane can’t believe that Indra could be okay with this, but as she points out, “On the Ark, you floated people for stealing food. On the ground, my people cheered as children fought to the death to lead us. Is this so much worse?” She suggests that this might be what they need to do to survive, just like those other scenarios. “What I know is that I am looking at my once crucified, resurrected friend, and I can see why some might think that’s a miracle.” (Side note, does this imply that the grounders do have records/knowledge of religions before the apocalypse? Or that Skaikru told them about Jesus while they were in the bunker?)

Kane tells Indra why the whole hosts and Primes thing is bad, and Raven tells Kane that this is why they need him. This exchange annoyed me, because obviously Indra can tell that murdering innocent people and lying about their deaths is bad, and they don’t need Kane to tell them that. Kane then tells Raven that she’s always known what’s right. I’ll admit I laughed here, because if that’s true, that means that Raven has consciously made the wrong decision time and time again. She tortured Lincoln, she tried to turn Murphy in for Finn’s massacre, she refused to help Luna and her people when they were suffering from radiation sickness. The show and the fandom often try to prop Raven up as this paragon of right and goodness, but the truth is, she’s done just as many terrible things as the rest of them, and is by no means a good moral compass. 

Raven, Abby, and the Sanctum delegation, along with the container of nightblood serum, prepare to go down to Sanctum, waiting for Kane to join them. But suddenly Indra, Niylah, and several other members of Wonkru burst through the shuttle doors with guns, and Raven grabs the nightblood serum from Simone and hands it over. Indra leaves with it, while Abby and Simone demand to know what’s happening. Raven tells Abby that Kane told them to keep her there, and when Abby tries to push past Niylah, Niylah tells her that she doesn’t want to see this. Abby pleads with Raven to let her go, and Raven relents and takes her to the airlock. In yet another parallel to Abby’s losing another man she loved via floating, Indra tries to hold her back from the airlock, telling her she shouldn’t be there, but Raven tells Indra she deserves a chance to say goodbye. Abby, sobbing, begs Kane through the airlock door not to do this, and as the camera focuses on their nearly-touching hands, then pans up to Kane’s face, we see the crucifixion scars on his wrist, the symbol of the coalition on his forearm, and Henry Ian Cusick’s familiar face once more. He tells Abby that this was wrong, but that if he’d been in the same position, he probably would have done the same to get her back. But he won’t be able to live with himself, and neither will she. Abby insists that they can make a new life, they can start over. But Kane tells her that he’s doing what she always said she would do — making sure they deserved to survive. But I can’t for the life of me see how killing himself after a stranger sacrificed his life for him is what makes them deserve to survive. Kane tells Abby that she’s strong, much stronger than him, and thanks her for all the times she’s saved him— not just his life, but him. He tells her that if he doesn’t do this now, they’ll both live to regret it, and so many more innocent lives will be lost (again… how?). After all the times Abby has said, “first we survive, then we find our humanity again,” this is how they get their humanity back. Abby breaks down in sobs, and Indra starts to recite the Travelers’ Blessing, with Raven joining in. “May we meet again,” Indra tells him in Trigedasleng, then steels herself and opens the airlock. Raven catches Abby as she collapses, and we see Kane fly out into the vacuum of space.

This show has always had trouble distinguishing between true self-sacrifice and suicide. Within the first few episodes of the show, a young girl threw herself off a cliff to escape the consequences of murdering someone. It was portrayed as heartbreaking, but ultimately the only solution. A few episodes later, when it became public knowledge that the Ark was failing, 320 members of the Ark sacrificed their lives so that their children and the rest of the Ark inhabitants could survive long enough to find a solution. I would argue that this was in fact noble self-sacrifice, albeit unnecessary, as we found out at the end of the episode. In Season 2, after Finn suffered a mental break and slaughtered a village of grounders, rather than deal with what he had done, he sacrificed himself to the grounders to be tortured to death. Now, he was undeniably in a nigh-impossible situation, with Lexa calling for his death, but the Sky People were willing to work towards a solution. Nonetheless, again, his suicide was the only way he could fix things. 

In Season 4, Raven and Clarke both acted self-sacrificially — Raven by straining herself to find a solution to save her people, even though she knew it would likely ultimately fry her brain, and Clarke by climbing the tower to align the satellite so that Bellamy, Raven, Harper, Monty, Emori, Murphy, and Echo could get to the Ark in space, even though she stood a better chance of surviving inside Becca’s lab, and very little chance of surviving at all. Again, I would classify those things as selfless acts to save their friends. There have been plenty of others, from Jaha staying on the Ring to get the Ark back to Earth, to Clarke telling Roan she’ll go peacefully with him (to her death, as far as she knows) if he spares Bellamy. But there have also been instances of straight-up suicide portrayed in, if not a fully positive light, at least a neutral light. Finn didn’t know how to deal with what he’d done, so he killed himself. Charlotte didn’t know how to deal with what she’d done, so she killed herself. Jasper and most of the delinquents committed mass suicide because they couldn’t deal with life on the ground. Octavia tried to get McCreary’s men to kill her in the gorge so she wouldn’t have to do the hard work of being better. And Kane threw himself out an airlock because he didn’t know how to deal with what Abby had done. 

I understand that Henry Ian Cusick got another, larger role in a different show, so they had to write him out of The 100, but Greyston Holt did a fantastic job as Kane, so much so that I almost believed he truly was Kane. How much more interesting would it have been if Kane had decided to take Monty’s words to heart and do better, instead of just giving lectures on morality like he’s been doing in the last couple seasons? They definitely needed to destroy the nightblood serum that Abby had made so that the Primes couldn’t make more hosts and kill more innocent people to continue living forever, but it was absolutely unnecessary for Kane to die. Clarke has synthetic nightblood too; does she need to die? Yet the show completely framed it as Kane sacrificing himself for the greater good. I mean, at least with Finn’s sacrifice, his death accomplished something. But with Kane it’s like when King David from the Bible, while on the run for his life, wished for some water from his well in Bethlehem, then when some of his men risked their lives to get it for him, poured it all on the ground. Kane killing himself didn’t bring Gavin back, nor was it necessary to keep the Primes from making nightblood, it just spat in the face of the sacrifice Gavin made and was solely because Kane couldn’t accept it. If they really wanted to be done with Kane, and wanted his death to be a heroic sacrifice, it would have been more interesting and heroic for him to somehow sacrifice his own life to let the host, Gavin, continue to live. I mean, Abby can totally fish Kane’s body out of space, take out his Mind Drive, and plug him into a new body! And who’s to say they can’t get the nightblood serum while they’re out there? While Kane’s death was executed (no pun intended) beautifully, the absolute unnecessity of it just left it feeling a little bit hollow. 

Michaela’s episode rating: ��🐝🐝🐝

The 100 airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on the CW.

[myrish-lace-love]

Our world on a string (bellarke, alternate 5x05)

Bellamy uses a story about a lost necklace as a way to get through to Clarke. 

***

Echo broke up with Bellamy as soon as she learned Clarke was alive. He’d pleaded with her to stay, even though deep down he knew she was right.

Clarke had avoided him ever since. He thought he’d be able to steal a moment with Clarke after they evacuated the bunker. He’d asked her how she’d survived alone, as they sat together by the fire. He’d hoped to get a glimpse into how she was feeling. But she’d only talked about Madi and turned in early for the night.

He hefted the rations she’d left him in his hands. He smiled despite himself. Almost exactly as much food as it’d cost him to buy her necklace. Two copper circles joined together, side by side, on a leather string. He’d traded the last of his food for it, years ago. He’d never been able to bring himself to give her the gift.

It’s gone, he thought. I lost it, Just like I lost her. He was about to head to his tent when he heard Clarke crying. He took a deep breath, walked over, and opened the flap. Clarke was curled up on a pile of blankets. Madi slept beside her.

“Clarke?”

Clarke sat up and turned away quickly. When she looked at him again her eyes were dry. She gave him a small, trembling smile.

“What is it, Bellamy?”

“I...we need to talk,” he said.

Clarke glanced at Madi. She tucked the covers tighter around her daughter’s shoulders. “Okay. Let’s go outside though, all right?”

They headed back to the spot by the fire. The field was deserted. Clarke sat down next to him on the log. She crossed her arms. The fire had burned down to embers, and the air was cool.  

Bellamy cleared his throat. Tell her. You have to tell her. You have to try.

“I meant to give you something before we left Earth,” he said. “Six years ago, after we learned about Praimfaya, I traded for a necklace at a grounder market. Two copper circles joined together. It was a reminder of the life we might have when we got to space.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I kept it zipped in my jacket pocket. When we were facing the end of the world, I could close my eyes and imagine the moment I’d give it to you.”

Clarke’s eyes were wide. Bellamy pushed forward. He’d started the story. He had no choice now but to finish it.

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“We’d make it back to the Ring, and I’d take you to the window. I’d-“ He blushed, and was grateful for the dark. “I’d ask you to close your eyes. I imagined fastening it around your neck, if you said yes. Whispering in your ear how long I’d wanted this, a life with you. A chance to take our time.”

He picked a blade of grass and rolled it between his fingers.

“The worst part was starting to forget your face,” he said. “How blue your eyes were, the way you’d tilt your head when you concentrated....I held on that necklace tighter as you started to slip away. Then one day a control panel shorted out. It regulated the water flow to Monty’s algae farm. Raven was frustrated, desperate to fix it. We had to eat, right?”

Clarke moved closer to him, quick to catch on as always. “And Raven needed copper.”

Bellamy nodded. “So I gave her your necklace. She melted it down for wires. That was the day I buried you,” he whispered. He snapped the blade of grass in half. “Buried you for real. But Clarke…” His voice shook. “If I’d known you were alive down here, I’d have that necklace with me right now. I’d pull it out of my pocket. Raven would’ve had to find another way.”

“I wouldn’t have wanted you to wait,” she said faintly. “You and Ech-“

He cut her off. He wasn’t sure how to explain, about him, and Echo, about how he’d slowly forgiven her and opened his heart after a long, long time. Only because Clarke was gone.

Except she’d never been lost to him.

"Well it wouldn’t have been up to you, would it?” He smiled at her. “I’d have kept it, and brought it to Earth, and given it to you, along…along with my heart, Clarke, at least then you’d know you had my heart all along.” He cracked, flooded with the memory of all the nights he’d cried himself to sleep. “I dreamed of saving you. Asking Raven to wait, pleading with her. I’d think of some last minute maneuver that gave you more time. Every night, I saved you. Except the night that counted.”

“You did save me,” Clarke murmured. She leaned into him. "You asked me how I survived. I had Madi, but I also had you.  I called you on the radio, every day. It helped, thinking you might have been listening up there in space.”

“I would have, Clarke, if I could. I would have tried to make you laugh and bitched about the food and…” His throat closed.

“You could have met Madi too,” Clarke said. She rested her head on his shoulder. “Madi loved the stories about you.”

“She liked the ones about Octavia better though, right?” He tried to tread lightly. They both knew Octavia posed a threat to Madi.

“It’s hard to meet your heroes.”

Bellamy swallowed. “Clarke…would you have liked it? The necklace?”

“I would have closed my eyes,” she said. “I would have been nervous, maybe shaking a little, because part of me wouldn’t have believed it, that you felt the same way I did.”

Bellamy took her hand, afraid to speak. Clarke laced their fingers together. “I would have held my breath while you put it on. I wouldn’t have let you finish your speech though,” she teased.

“No?”

“I would have kissed you right away. I wouldn’t have wanted to waste any more time.” She looked up at him, her blue eyes shining. She was real and whole and alive and here, right in front of him.

“So let’s not,” he murmured, before he cupped her face and lowered his mouth to hers.

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 9: The 100 2x01, The 48

Okay, settling down to rewatch 2x01, the start of my favorite season...

I love this Clarke so much. Badass Clarke, sneaky Clarke, a Clarke who will fearlessly do what she has to in order to escape and to get to her friends. A Clarke with convictions and guts.

How DO they know everyone’s names lol? Is that ever explained? (ETA: Monty was obviously the informant.)

Mount Weather is one of my favorite parts of this show, honestly. I love that their mission is in part to preserve the beautiful things humanity created, like art; they gave their prisoner Starry Night. The ORIGINAL Starry Night. I just find that very moving. All of these non-essential parts of being human... the show has abandoned them and that’s part of why it’s so hollow for me now, I think.

Level 5: where it all begins and it all ends.

The Clarke/Maya relationship could have been so much more, tbh. Like they had their good moments, like threatening to kill each other etc., but they could have gone deeper.

Surprise! Underground executive branch family dinner! This is the sort of twist I can get behind.

Haha remember when actual delinquents still existed? I joke but truly the later canon has ruined parts of this show for me.

I forgot Tristan survived into 2x01. Not for long. Such Grounder hypocrisy: “That’s one. I lost 300.” He makes it sound as if Finn marched into a village and killed 300 people--they were fucking soldiers on the attack you dum-dum.

“Only our warriors speaking English.” Well that sounds like bullshit based on literally everything we see after this point.

The statue of Lincoln is “the place we go to settle disputes.” First, please don’t say they settle disputes to the death or some nonsense, and second, that’s his namesake... Significant? I mean, objectively, no, but can I make something out of it somehow?

I disliked Luna but she COULD have been so interesting and she and Lincoln COULD have had quite a dynamic. I headcanon them as exes. I want to know their whole backstory tbh. When they met. How. If he wanted to go with her to the sea. If he did perhaps and then came back.

Drink every time someone cauterizes a wound.

You know what else they should have done? Story line about the meeting of Grounder and Sky People medicine. Oh wait that would have taken away from the repetitive war story lines never mind.

That dropship is so fucking impressive. WHERE ARE THE AWARDS FOR THE SET PEOPLE?

And the costume people for those awesome masks.

Am I supposed to feel bad for this Grounder and his charred friend? I do not. Next time, don’t attack the children for no reason and you won’t get burned to a crisp. Easy.

The thing is I can never get behind the Raven + Murphy friendship 100% even though their S5 dynamic looked interesting because he literally fucking shot her and that’s just not a bygones are bygones thing. But they do have personalities that mesh well together so in that way it’s sort of a shame. Also he 10000000000000% had a crush on her don’t even try to argue.

She fired that gun at him. I forgot that. She fired but was out of bullets, that’s the only reason he didn’t die right there. “Yeah I would have shot me too.”

I’m p. sure that’s the real Mount Weather?

I know the Mount Weather people have no leg to stand on when it comes to the Grounders and that they’re...pretty obviously racist, but in their defense--the Grounders were written to be pretty savage, so “savages,” while unforgivably racially tinged, is a fair descriptor of them.

I know I’ve harped on this before but Mount Weather has a judicial system of some sort and it’s possible to press charges there. Somehow. The world building on this show sucks balls.

“They also said you were their leader” is like some retconning, okay. Because you will not convince me that for most of S1 BELLAMY wasn’t the leader in the eyes of the delinquents.

“Kiddo.”

Fucking love Dante. Where are my Dante + Clarke mentor/mentee or ex-mentor/mentee or different-gen-rivals fics?

“We prioritize safety over sentimentality.” As Maya takes blood she absolutely doesn’t need but is having just in case and that she knows comes from someone else’s tortured body because she’s accepted this as something they do, because she’s not sentimental. But she already feels guilty.

Clarke is already using the word “capture.” I had a discussion with someone once about Clarke’s vision of Mount Weather versus, say, Jasper’s, and why it was different and I said some poorly phrased stuff that didn’t really reflect my thoughts and opinions and it still haunts me but I feel like this is...relevant to that. How she immediately feels ‘captured,’ trapped.

Clarke’s devotion to her friends and her people was still so pure and right here.

Dante really does believe he “saved” them. I wonder what his thought process was... I really hate the “savages” so I must save these children? These children look interesting, let’s meet some new friends? She’s right of course that if they were really guests, they could leave.

Multiple crash sites over 100 square miles = I should go on google maps to confirm my Pennsylvania/Farm Station theory but I’m too lazy.

GOD THOSE CLOTHES. I love that Clarke picks the pants and the high heel shiv.

There’s no way there’s actually time for natural selection to work that fast in 97 years and also I’m pretty sure the Sky People are genetically modified because their original pool was way too small for the process Dante is describing but whatever this show is all la-di-da science.

Also: this is how you run an underground Bunker OCTAVIA.

Dante was the only rival/antagonist/whatever Clarke has ever had that rivals her instincts and intelligence yeah I said it; fight me. I know she needed to be on the outside for this season to work but he should have been her mentor. He basically set her up to be mentored and then she ran off and into L who basically destroyed her and she’s never recovered.

THAT REUNION. Heartwarming. Though hard to watch too because this show did both Jasper and Monty so dirty. (Yeah I said that too WHAT OF IT.)

“Dying. Same as you.” Murphy gets all the good lines. That’s why people like him, forget this “redemption arc.”

The Grounder Raven killed was Murphy’s guard and honestly--hilarious. He abandons his post, realizes all his friends are skeletons, pickpockets one, then is shot by what he must initially assume is a dead body. Better character than almost anyone introduced from S3 on.

This cake scene is the most iconic. Jonty were scene stealers stfu. They’re children--basically. They get to act their age. They get to be happy and silly and they loved each other so much.

“Pretend like you’re happy to see me.” / “We are happy to see you.” See? Adorable. I know he’s no cinnamon roll but gosh, adorable.

And then Clarke comes in like secret espionage time and they just look so Tired TM.

I feel like Monty knew, or suspected on some level, that Jasper wasn’t just ‘bummed out’ by Clarke’s suspicions, he was panicking a little.

I can’t believe Jasper and Maya have known each other for like 10 seconds and she’s already seen his O face.

“Clarke’s the only reason we survived.” Um ex-CUSE me but I know you didn’t forget Bellamy’s existence, Jasper.

Clarke’s so smart!

Maya brings out the big guns, literally.

“I’m the one who fired the rockets. Should I not have done that?” is so heartbreaking. Mostly because of the delivery. I love this entire scene. There are like 8 different scenes I love in this episode, like whole-heartedly and truly love.

Clarke’s suspicions really do look like paranoia. Like I see what she’s picking up on, saw it even the first time I watched this ep, but there’s a sense in which she does appear irrational.

There’s actually something kinda funny about Bellamy running out with a spear in one scene, looking around blankly, and then getting chained up as a prisoner in the next scene. At least he inspired his little protege Monroe. Scenes like this are the reason she joined Pike in S3.

Tristan’s like “Who are these fucking children running at me and screaming?” Then he gets shot in the head. Goodbye Tristan you won’t be missed.

“We’re here now. Everything’s going to be okay.” This sounds like Kane playing out a hero fantasy he’s had since he was a child. Except he’s talking to two mud-stained kids who are looking at him skeptically instead of, like, a captured heroine or something.

I feel like they set up this conflict where the adults/Sky People elite come in and, like Kane says explicitly, assume they’re in charge and everyone will fall in line, but then the delinquents don’t see it that way or want that: they have their own priorities (their friends) and their own relationships (Finn and Bell don’t even LIKE each other but they’re still communicating by look) and their own knowledge (the pipes that allow them to move through the dropship camp quickly and without permission). But then... it sort of plays into the rest of the season...but not that much?? Not as much as I would like.

“You are not animals. There are rules. Laws. You are not in control here anymore.”

This show sacrificed a lot of complex relationships to just either make people buddy-buddy who had no reason to be or just arbitrarily assign relationships to scenes or episodes without regard for continuity at all.

Raven took Jasper’s goggles.... never over this.

How was bringing Octavia to TonDC faster than collecting some beetles for her to eat?

“Loss, pain, regret. Time eases these things.” I’d say this is the sort of line the show should be repeating but God when it gets a line in its teeth it never lets the fuck go so I guess it’s better this one remains pristine.

I find Dante very sympathetic but also so creepy.

They weren’t really patrolling for other people, were they? Because like...surely they would have found them. They’re at the dropship and close by. He was just bullshitting here. But why don’t they want to make even more new friends?

Dante’s stationery is presidential themed lol. Glad we stocked up the bunkers properly with the important stuff.

The crashed Alpha Station is beautiful. I believe this was the first time it was shown on the show? Ugh, this whole sequence with the music, it’s perfect and so touching.

Jaha is the most tragic and heartbreaking figure on this show. He also doesn’t get the appreciation he deserves. Just...the image of a man alone in space, talking to his loved ones, hoping they can hear them, not knowing if they can... I almost can’t handle it. I used to be very unsure if I liked where his story line went after this (seeing it in its entirety, I defend it) but surely he could not have died this way.

....I really gotta sleep now.

[reyskyber]

Love isn't all that it seems (I did you wrong).

I’m not entirely sure where this came from?  I had my writing playlist on shuffle and a song called “Burning House” by Cam came on.  I thought nothing of it, then last night while I was trying to sleep this idea got stuck in my head.  So, here we are.  I’m taking this as one of my last chances to write my post S4 angst stuff that’s been going around my mind. (Title and lyrics taken from Burning House by Cam)

I had a dream about a burning house,

You were stuck inside I couldn’t get you out.

 The world had ended.  Again. Now that they’d had time to stop and actually catch their breath (for what felt like the first time in months), Bellamy actually had time to think everything over.  

The ring was the perfect place to do so.  It was quiet save for the low machine hum; familiar and nostalgic, but also unwelcome and different all at once.  He’d grown used to the loud clanging of broken parts on factory station, and then to the quiet chirping of birds and other animals on the ground.  Until they’d all stopped.

The chatter dies away as he extracts himself from the group. Obviously overjoyed about surviving, their excitement was too much for Bellamy at that moment.

He wanders around the ring for a while, not really focussing on where it is he’s going, just walking.  It was something he’d always done, even in the tiny room he shared with his mother and Octavia.  Pacing and walking to clear his mind.  Except now, he can’t clear his mind at all.

Thoughts race through his mind, all of them bringing up mixed emotions. Relief that they made it; it’s short lived and is soon followed by a ripping pain and grief that feels like his heart is being ripped apart and forcing itself up his chest.  Tears burn his eyes and he blinks them away, stopping his pacing.

He opens his eyes and feels a bitter laugh rise through his chest.  Of all the places to stop, here he is at the window that faces the burning Earth.  The same burning Earth that holds Clarke.  He tries to bat the thoughts away but they creep into the back of his mind; images of Clarke running from the death wave, the radiation soaking its way through the suit, her face when-

He clenches his fists and bites his lip, hard.  He tastes the familiar metallic tang of blood, and feels his injured wrists cry out in agony, but it’s still not enough to dull the pain in his chest, not enough at all.

He looks down and sees a bottle.  He frowns and picks it up.  As he looks back up he takes the time to actually look at the ground now.  He tries to make out the patch of Earth that they landed on, somewhere in North America, he knows.  But the entire world is aflame, everything is fire and ash and he can’t tell where the oceans start and stop, never mind the separate countries.

“She saved us again,” comes a quiet voice to his left.  He snaps his attention over to see Raven staring out at the burning world too.  

He wants to say something, anything.  But his throat feels like it’s closing in and each breath feels like shards of glass making their way down to his chest.  Instead, he clenches his jaw and nods.  He can see the orange fires reflected in Raven’s eyes, tears welling in hers too.  He turns his attention back to the burning ground, back to Clarke.  His heart burns painfully at the thought.

“You think we can do this without her?”  Raven voices quietly, her voice thick form the unshed tears.  Bellamy stops for a moment.  It’s a thought that’s been on his mind since they, no he, decided to leave her behind.  Hell, it was racing through his mind before that, when she told him he’d have to use his head if anything happened to her.  She was right, he thinks to himself.  His heart stutters painfully and he steels himself, willing his voice to work.

“If we don’t,” he begins.  His voice sounds faraway, like he isn’t really aware of what he’s saying.  “She died in vain.”  Tears well in his eyes again and pain ripples through his chest at the admission that yes, Clarke is gone.  No, not gone, dead.  

“And I’m not gonna let that happen.”  He stares out at the burning Earth but isn’t really seeing it.  His mind is running in a million different directions and he can’t stop the tightening feelings in his chest.  Raven has stayed quiet, letting him finish.

“You with me?”  He asks, turning his head towards her.  He can see tears building up in her eyes, the same as his own.  She steels herself before turning to him.

“Always.”  

 ***

 I’ll stay here with you until this dream is gone.

It’s the only place that I can hold you tight.

 He’s not sure when it became a habit, sitting by the window.  Back on the Ark, there was always work to be done, or something to do for Octavia, or a “random” inspection to prepare for.  But now, on the ring, there was nothing to do. They’d rationed the food and Monty had started the algae farm up.  Bellamy had always seen himself as somewhat of a leader on the ground, but he’d always had Clarke.

Up here, he was alone.

Raven took over most of the delegation of tasks, keeping everyone (except him) busy.  They seemed to have an unspoken agreement that he needed more than just something to keep his mind off everything.  Most days he’d walk around the ring, keeping out of the others’ way.  He’d join them for dinner, but found it difficult to engage in conversation with the group.

Eventually, he’d given up entirely.  Resorting to half conversations about simple things like what was for dinner (likely algae), some days even that was too much.  He avoids looking out of the windows as much as possible, not wanting to see the only place that had felt like home to him gone in a wave of fire and death.  

He muses over that sometimes, how a camp of a hundred kids and wooden fence poles had felt more like home than four solid metal walls ever did.  It was the freedom, he supposes.  But deep down he knows that it was them that made it, the hundred, they made him feel wanted, not just needed for once.  

Some days are worse than others, he knows this.  If being on the ground had taught him anything, it was that loss and grief were a turbulent whirlwind of a combination; constantly moving, changing, and never still.  He knew this even before landing on the ground.  

 That’s probably how he ends up staring out of the window that faces the ground.  On his bad days he stares out at it, thinking everything over.  The ash has settled, the fire has stopped.  Nothing remains of the home he treasured so dearly. Everything is coated in grey and red from what he can see all the way up in space.  Sometimes, he thinks he can see a patch of green off in the distance through the ash cloud, but the cloud shifts again and then it’s gone.  It’s wishful thinking, he knows, to think that there is one strip of land for them to go back to.  

Other days, he thinks of the conversations he’d have with the people he’s lost.  There’s not much to do up in space, after all; no wars to fight, no elections to hold, no prisoners to break out.  Just the long expanse of time and nothing but his own thoughts to fill it with.

Somehow, no matter what he starts thinking about, his thoughts always drift back to Clarke.

It starts with his mother, the first person he lost.  He’d like to tell Aurora about the hundred kids with the same Ark-issued boots with rips in the clothes and fire in their eyes.  Bellamy likes to think he’d tell her about the good stuff – the teamwork of building the walls, of the hunting parties that were just like the ones from the old stories she used to tell him.  And, of course, he’d tell her about the bad stuff too – about throwing out Raven’s radio, about Charlotte and his erroneous advice.  

He’d tell her about Clarke, of course.  Of how this stuck-up, self-righteous Princess got under his skin from day one. His mother would raise an eyebrow at him and give him a knowing smile and he’d scowl back at her with a barely concealed smile of his own.  He doesn’t even know where he’d begin to explain Clarke to his mother.  She’d love Clarke, he knows, it was difficult not to, really.  But how could he explain how she worked her way under his skin?  Entirely by accident, and without him noticing at all, until he could turn to her once day and know in his heart that that’s my person.  

He takes a breath and leans forward, resting his forehead on the cool glass. Hot tears well up in his eyes and he blinks them out.  Salty tears track down his face but he can’t even gather the energy to lift his hand to wipe them away.  

He’s so exhausted, from everything.  From trying to survive on the Ark, to surviving on the ground, to fighting for his life, to leaving the ground again and leaving Clarke behind.  

Now, with nothing to fill his days, it’s like every wrong decision he made over the past year has caught up on him, weighing heavy in his chest and on his shoulders.  Nothing seems to make the load lighter, the pain bubbles up and over some days and he finds himself curled up, unable to feel anything and feeling everything all at once.  He lets the tides wash over him, let the pain drown him.  It feels right, he thinks, he deserves this after everything he has done.

I left her behind.  The thought races through his mind over and over, and he can’t stop it.  He feels darkness settle on the edge of his vision.  When was the last time he slept?  He doesn’t know anymore, everything blurs into one and he lets the pull of sleep take over.  In his last few shards of consciousness he sees wisps of blonde hair and burning, bright, red-hot fire.

He doesn’t sleep easily anymore.

 ***

 I'll stay here with you

Until this dream is gone

 He tries to pull himself together, knowing Clarke would want him to lead their friends in her place.  His chest still hurts, but it’s more of a dull ache now than a constant stabbing.

After six months on the ring, things are starting to improve.  Monty has the algae farm working – it tastes worse than the rations on the ark and the jobi nuts on the ground, but it’s food. Now there’s more to do; different kinds of algae to try and grow, improvements to the ring to be done, inventory to be carried out.  Bellamy tries to help more now, feeling he can face the day a little easier.

If anyone has anything to say about Bellamy’s absence from the group over the past six months, they don’t say it to his face; for that, he is grateful.

Some days are still worse than others.  Some days, he still finds himself staring out at the window, wishing he could hear Clarke’s voice.  Hoping he’ll hear that she’s proud of him, that he’s doing okay.  

It’s what she would have wanted.

[ellanainthetardis]

Here’s the second entry in this series, some good old flirting ;)

[ff] and [AO3]

A Spring To His Steps

4 Weeks, 1 Day

Medical is busy and Marcus slips between two injured Grounders – Trishanakru if he gets the tattoos right, which means they are likely assigned to the hydroponic farms and that there will be an accident report on his desk by the end of the day. It’s the problem with so many people not used to working with machinery, they get hurt – which results in both him trying to find better solutions and Abby getting less free time. Jackson catches his eyes from where he is standing, tending to a burn on a young woman’s hand and nods toward the office at the back of the big examination room.

He’s a bit surprised she’s not out there given that there are people not currently being seen too despite Jackson’s and the Grounders’ healers’ best attempts but he reaches the open door of the office. He leans against the doorframe to better watch her, amused by the way she is furiously scribbling on a piece of paper.

Something in his chest aches with how beautiful she looks.

Her hair is gathered in a messy ponytail that falls over one shoulder, her brow is furrowed in concentration and the fingers that aren’t holding the pen are drumming against the table in clear annoyance. She’s not even sitting properly, she’s half out of her seat, bowed over the desk in a way that makes him want to just…

He clears his throat before he can entertain any real inappropriate thought about her and the desk.

She glances up, her face lighting up in surprise when she spots him. “Hey.”

“Hey.” he answers with a smile and then clears his throat up again because, wow, they sure are being eloquent people. “Are you done with the inventory?”

Her lips twitch. “You’re the Chancellor, don’t you have people to fetch reports? I did.”

“I sent them all to the other departments.” he shrugs, walking in and closing the door for good measure. “It seems like as good an excuse as any to visit.”

He drops in one of the two chairs in front of the desk and takes the file she hands him.

“For the record, I didn’t miss paperwork.” she sighs and walks around the desk to sit in the other chair, facing him. Their knees bump together and he relaxes for the first time that day.

They’ve been doing better, the two of them. Their relationship feels less… strained than right after Praimfaya. He’s not sure they’re back to the easiness they used to share, not yet, but they’re on the right track. She’s making efforts and he’s refusing to let her pull away again.

“We need paperwork if we want to run this thing.” he chides her.

It’s not that he’s a real fan of reports and forms himself but that’s how they used to do on the Ark and that’s how they need to do it down here. He has problems enough trying to make Octavia and Indra see that. They need to keep on top of everything.

“You just love lurking in people’s office to make them nervous when they owe you reports.” she teases.

It’s a gibe about who he used to be on the Ark, he figures, and she’s not that wrong. He used to enjoy letting people know he was in charge.

It isn’t about that now though.

“We need to organize.” he insists, rubbing his forehead before passing a hand in front of his mouth. It’s been more or less on the go for the last three weeks and he’s been pressing Octavia to get the Grounders to submit to the system because that’s the only way they are going to make it. People can’t just show up where they feel like working that day, mostly because there are things they can’t leave to chance. The farms, the aquifer filtration system, the oxygen and air scrubbers… They’ve been trying to assign krus to the department they would be best suited but that’s not working out so well. The fact that the hierarchy isn’t clear isn’t helping any and the idea that each clan leader is responsible for their people with Octavia at the top of the food chain won’t hold long now. People are starting to settle in this new life, it’s not easy, particularly for Grounders. “Octavia officially put Indra in charge of the guard this morning.”

That’s at least something, he supposes, even if he hopes Indra will show restrain. There’s unrest between clans and that’s only to be expected. If they start stabbing everyone who try to pick up a fight… He trusts his friend though. And he hopes that patrols of an identified guard corps composed of members of all clans will help settle things even more.

Octavia’s Wonkru idea is a nice one but it won’t happen in one day.

“What does that make you?” Abby asks.

“Her chamberlain?” he jokes. It earns him a smile and another bump of her knee against his. “I don’t know, we didn’t really discuss it. Aside from you and Jaha, I’m the only one with enough experience to run a place like this. I guess that’s what it makes me.”

Abby has never expressed any interest in taking a more active role in the leadership department, not since the lottery. She seems satisfied with running Medical for now and he doesn’t want to push her too much. She advises him when he asks and for now it would have to be enough.

“Don’t let Thelonious take over.” she warns, her smile turning serious. “That’s what he did with Clarke, you know…”

He shakes his head. “It won’t happen with Octavia.”

The girl doesn’t like the former Chancellor and Marcus hasn’t tried to convince her otherwise. He still considers Jaha a friend but he is also aware of the man’s flaws. Thelonious is used to being in charge, to making decisions, the former Chancellor likes power and he doesn’t like the fact that Marcus and Abby supplanted him.

He’s not sure he deserves the right to call right from wrong but he doesn’t like Jaha’s methods, not anymore.

“I hope so.” she offers, reaching on the desk to grab the piece of paper she has been writing on. “I have the list of people I want to keep full time.” He skims it over, not surprised to find Jackson and Niylah at the top of the list. The other names, he doesn’t really recognize. There are fifteen in all. She sighs. “I need more trained staff.”

“Says you and Jaha and pretty much everyone else…” he snorts with no real amusement. “Is there someone from the Boudalankru on your list?”

“I don’t think so, why?” Abby frowns.

“Because their leader believes Skaikru is conspiring to take over the bunker.” he explains. “And Indra thinks his son has a thing for botanic, that might soften him up a little.”

“Send him over.” she nods. “I can always use someone who knows medicinal plants.”

He places the paper on top of the inventory file, short of excuses to linger longer. “I should go back to work.”

She bumps her knee against his leg for the third time, prompting him to look up at her. “Kom osir hit op nodotaim.”

Until we meet again.

He smiles, eyes twinkling at her terrible accent. She’s had so many difficulties taking up Trigedasleng though… “You’re making progress.”

“I think I need more private lessons.” she grins.  

“I’m always happy to provide.” he retorts, leaving the chair to step into her space, leaning down when she stretches her neck to receive the kiss. He doesn’t allow himself to get carried away though. He still needs to stop by engineering and the prospect of listening to Jaha complain about everything that goes wrong in the bunker takes the fun out of everything. “Ai hod yu in.”

“I love you too.” she whispers against his lips. “We meet for dinner?”

“I’ll stop by to get you on my way there.” he promises and, with a last kiss, he tears himself away from her.

Medical is even busier when he walks out of her office.

Still, there is a spring to his step that wasn’t there before as he strides down the corridors to his next destination.

It feels like hope.

[theafictionados]

A The 100 Character For Every Twenty One Pilots Song

Hello there!

Are you a fan of The 100? How about twenty one pilots? I have good news: you don’t need to be either to listen to twenty one pilots songs. But it helps! However, to get the most out of this article, I would advise that you be a fan of the CW show The 100 because this list contains spoilers up to Season 4 Episode 8! (And was written before Episode 9 so if anything crazy happens that contradicts everything I’ve said, NOT MY FAULT)

Now: to begin at the beginning. Let me start by introducing myself in case you are a person who is unfamiliar with my ridiculous life.

My name is Robyn Jeffrey and I’m a co-host with The Afictionados Podcast Network. (website, twitter, soundcloud) We do podcasts about your favorite tv shows including AND TOTALLY LIMITED TO AT THIS POINT, The 100, Riverdale, and LOST (my personal favorite). You can find us by searching “Afictionados” in Soundcloud or iTunes!

Something that I really love about TOP is that you can listen to their songs and there is nary a swear. I’m one of those people who get kind of taken out of things where there’s too much profanity. I also love that when they sing love songs, they hardly ever use gendered pronouns. Not all of them, but most of their love songs could be sung to any gender. And that makes writing this a little easier.

Ever since I became a fan of twenty one pilots, my sister and I have played this game where we choose a The 100 character that is best represented by each song. When I was at Unity Days in January, I shared this fact with a few friends and they wanted more!

I have tried my best to do this with every single TOP song. However, I tried very hard to not overlap or give multiple songs to one character, even though many of these songs could refer to Jasper or Murphy and so on. That’s why I’ll have a section at the bottom of the song with alternate characters that might also work. If you have a suggestion for a character that I don’t have already, let me know and I’ll add it with full credit!

Although Vessel was released first, I will begin with Blurryface, for my sister and I began with Blurryface. I’m aware that they also released a self-titled album in 2009 but I only just realized that you can buy that on iTunes and I’m not familiar with it at all so we’re only doing the last two albums OKAY? Here we go!

Blurryface

Heavydirtysoul – Octavia Blake

“Gangsters don’t cry.”

Originally, this song was Jasper’s song but with the addition of my rule of only one per customer, I felt that a different song described him better (or possibly, he was the only one to fit that song). And thus I came to the conclusion that this was an Octavia Blake song if I ever heard one; especially if you take the last season into consideration.

“There’s an infestation in my mind’s imagination.

I hope that they choke on smoke ‘cause I’m smoking them out the basement.

This is not rap. This is not hip-hip.

It’s just another attempt to make the voices stop.”

“Can you save my heavy, dirty, soul?”

Alternate: Jasper Jordan, Clarke Griffin, John Murphy, etc.

Stressed Out – All

“We would build a rocket ship and then we’d fly it far away.”

I felt that this song could refer to so many characters that I decided to make it a song for everyone. I think you could find a piece of whoever you wanted in this song.

“Wish we could turn back time to the good old days,

When our momma sang us to sleep but now we’re stressed out.”

Ride – Jasper Jordan

“I’m falling so I’m taking my time on my ride.”

Jasper is found in so many of these songs that it was hard to pick one for him. I found that this was a song that fit him best especially taking Season 4 into account. He knows that he won’t make it and so he’s just having fun with the time that he still has.

“Yeah, I think about the end just way too much

But it’s fun to fantasize.”

“I’ve been thinking too much. Help me.”

 Fairly Local – Roan

“I’m fairly local. I’ve been around. I’ve seen the streets you’re walking down.”

This song was originally Lincoln but since I found a better fit for him, I switched it to Roan and I think I like it even better! This song is reminiscent of when new people show up, like Skaikru, and try and take over.

“Yo, you, bulletproof in black like a funeral.

The world around us is burning but we’re so cold.

It’s the few, the proud, and the emotional.”

“I’m not evil to the core.

What I shouldn’t do I will fight.

I know I’m emotional.

What I wanna save I will try.”

Alternate: Lincoln, Indra, any grounder pick one

 Tear in my Heart – Finn Collins

“She’s the tear in my heart, I’m on fire.”

If this isn’t the most Finn Collins song you’ve ever heard, you’re wrong. This is one of the first songs that we assigned to a character. This is so Finn it’s incredible. Think season 2 Finn looking for Clarke. Like that Finn. It’s ridiculous. My favorite part of the song is that it literally says “I’m on fire” and isn’t that just brutal? It literally talks about her stabbing him HAHA

“Sometimes you’ve gotta bleed to know,

That you’re alive and have a soul.

But it takes someone to come around to show you how.”

“She’s a butcher with a smile, cut me farther than I’ve ever been.”

 Lane Boy – Nathan Miller

“They say ‘stay in your lane, boy’… but we go where we want to.”

This was kind of a hard one to choose. But I’m happy with the conclusion that I came to and I think it actually fits really well. This is one of my favorite songs on Blurryface. Also I <3 Miller. That is all.

“Who would live and die for on that list?

But the problem is,

There’s another list that exists and no one really wants to think about this.”

“If you get in between someone I love and me,

You’re gonna feel the heat of my cavalry.

All these songs I’m hearing are so heartless.

Don’t trust a perfect person and don’t trust a song that’s flawless.”

 The Judge – Thelonius Jaha

“You’re the judge, oh no, set me free.”

The way I’m choosing to look at this one is that Jaha is calling ALIE the judge. He wants ALIE to take him into the City of Light and away from all of the pain of his life. It also shows Jaha’s soft side when he’s always making sacrifices for others. I think.

“When the leader of the bad guys sang,

Something soft and soaked in pain,

I heard the echo from his secret hideaway.”

“I know my soul’s freezing.

Hell’s hot for good reason so please take me.”

 Doubt – Wells Jaha

“Don’t forget about me.”

Okay check it out. Not only is this super literal because Jaha actually forgot Wells in Season 3, but it’s also totally relevant to the 4 episodes he was in regarding Clarke and such.

“Even when I doubt you,

I’m no good without you.”

“Fear might be the death of me,

Fear leads to anxiety.

Don’t know what’s inside of me.”

Alternate: Monty Green

 Polarize – Bellamy Blake

“My friends and I, we’ve got a lot of problems.”

This was the one of the first songs that we assigned a character to and yeah maybe it started only with “better brother, better son” but if you look at the whole song it actually works quite well.

“It’s deciding where to die and deciding where to fight.

Deny, deny, denial.”

“I wanted to be a better brother, better son.

Wanted to be a better adversary to the evil I have done.

I have none to show to the one I love.”

 We Don’t Believe What’s On TV – Lexa

“We have all learned to kill our dreams.”

This was a really hard one to choose. I felt that many of the people that I could possibly give it to, already had a song. And although it could fit Lexa and Clarke’s relationship better, I’m pleased with my choice.

“I used to say, ‘I wanna die before I’m old’,

But because of you I might think twice.”

“I need to know that when I fail, you’ll still be here.”

Alternate: Finn Collins, John Murphy, Marcus Kane, who’s in love?

 Message Man – Clarke Griffin

“You don’t know what I’ve done. I’m wanted and on the run.”

This song was a Murphy song for such a long time until I realized, after the premiere of Season 3, that this works even better for Clarke than it does for Murphy. Clarke’s a major badass.

“A loser hides behind a mask of my disguise.

And who I am today is worse than other times.”

“You don’t know my brain the way you know my name.

And you don’t know my heart the way you know my face.”

Alternate: John Murphy

 Hometown – Maya Vie

“Take me home and show me the sun.”

Listen up. I had the hardest time figuring this one out but then my mother suggested Maya / Mount Weather in general and it’s absolutely perfect. I couldn’t think of anything else ever again. Now this song will haunt your dreams as a Mount Weather song.

“Where we’re from, there’s no sun.

Our hometown’s in the dark.”

“We don’t know, we don’t know,

How to put back the power in our soul.

We don’t know, we don’t know,

Where to find what once was in our bones.”

Alternate: Bryan, Charles Pike, peeps from farm station, Ilian

 Not Today – Charles Pike

“Heard your voice. There’s no choice.”

This was another difficult one. I want to dedicate this choice to my girls Sarah and Claire (aka the #1 Pike apologists).

“You are out of my mind, you aren’t seeing my side.

You spend all this time trying to get to me.”

“Don’t you test me though, just because I play the piano,

Doesn’t mean I am not willing to take you down. I’m sorry.”

 Goner – Lincoln

“I’m a goner. Somebody catch my breath.”

This one hurts. But it’s just so perfect. And don’t just look at the lyrics to this one. It’s the real musical genius of the finale of Blurryface that encapsulates Lincoln so perfectly. The soft, quiet beginning, into the loud, angry ending. It all works.

“Though I’m weak and beaten down,

I’ll slip away into the sound.

The ghost of you is close to me.

I’m inside out. You’re underneath.”

 Vessel

Ode to Sleep – Ilian

“I’m not free, I asked forgiveness three times.”

Some songs and this album were much harder to figure out than others. I knew that I wanted an Ilian song and this one fit the best out of what was left. It works with the fact that he blew up Arkadia and that he feels terrible about what he did in the City of Light.

“Please tell them you have no plans for me.

I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?”

“I swear I heard demons yelling,

Those crazy words they were spelling.

They told me I was gone.”

 Holding Onto You – Marcus Kane

“You should take my life, you should take my soul.”

This song was the Lincoln and Octavia song for a really long time. The second verse is one of my favorite verses of all of TOP’s discography. I think it’s just beautiful. But it works very well with Kane and Abby as well.

“Fight it.

Take the pain, ignite it.

Tie a noose around your mind,

Loose enough to breathe fine and tie it,

To a tree, tell it ‘you belong to me.

This ain’t a noose, this is a leash.

And I have news for you.

You must obey me.’”

Alternate: Lincoln

 Migraine – Raven Reyes

“Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat?”

How perfect is it that Raven had migraines this season and they have a song called Migraine? It’s perfect. I’m really pleased with this pairing. I think that Migraine is one of their best songs. It’s sometimes hard to catch all of the beautiful lyrics so I recommend looking them up because they work so well.

“…It is a door that holds back contents,

That make Pandora’s box contents look non-violent.

Behind my eyelids are islands of violence.

My mind’s ship-wrecked.

This is the only land my mind could find.”

“And I will say that we should take a day to break away

From all the pain our brain has made.

The game is not played alone.”

 House of Gold – Monty Green

“We’ll make pretend that you and me lived ever after happily.”

Sure. Maybe this song was given to Monty because he’s the only one that really got to talk with his Mom other than Clarke. But if you think about it, you could maybe think of it as CoL Hannah talking to Monty and trying to persuade him into joining her. And his father is even mentioned in the song. It works!

“She asked me, ‘Son, when I grow old,

Will you buy me a house of gold?

And when your father turns to stone,

Will you take care of me?’”

“And since we know that dreams are dead,

And life turns plans up on their head.

I will plan to be a bum.

So I just might become someone.”

 Car Radio – Luna

“Peace will win and fear will lose.”

This song is incredible. It has some of the cleverest lyrics I have ever heard. I really think it could fit with just about any character that is truly haunted by something that they’ve done. It really fits with Luna because of what happened on her little island and how she promotes peace over violence.

“Sometimes quiet is violent.

My pride is no longer inside.

It’s on my sleeve. My skin will scream.

Reminding me of who I killed.”

“I find over the course of our human existence,

One thing consists of consistence

And it’s that we’re all battling fear.

Oh dear, I don’t know if we know why we’re here.”

Alternate: Raven Reyes, Monty Green, Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake

 Semi-Automatic – John Murphy

“I’m semi-automatic. My prayer’s schizophrenic. But I’ll live on.”

This song has been the Murphy song for years. The real Murphy song. It speaks for itself.

“I’m never what I like,

I’m double-sided, and I just can’t hide,

I kinda like it when I make you cry,

‘Cause I’m twisted up, I’m twisted up inside.”

“The horrors of the night melt away,

Under the warm glow of survival of the day,

Then we move on.”

 Screen – Emori

“We’re broken people.”

We found that this song worked really well with Emori. Sometimes she’s talking about herself, then herself and Murphy, and maybe even sometimes herself and Otan. It’s however you like to interpret it that makes it so fun.

“I do not know why I would go

In front of you and hide my soul

‘Cause you’re the only one who knows it.”

“While you’re doing fine, there’s some people and I

Who have a really tough time getting through this life

So excuse up while we sing to the sky.”

 The Run & Go – Abby Griffin

“Cerebral thunder in one way conversations.”

I remember the day that I realized that this could be an Abby song. I remembered the person that she shot at the end of Season 3 and then listening to the chorus, I found that it fit all of this radio stuff that Abby and Kane are dealing with lately.

“I have killed a man and all I know

Is I am on the Run and Go.”

“Don’t wanna call you in the night time.

Don’t wanna give you all my pieces.

Don’t wanna hand you all my trouble.

Don’t wanna give you all my demons.

You’ll have to watch me struggle

From several rooms away.

But tonight, I’ll need you to stay.”

 Fake You Out – Harper McIntyre

“Silence gives you space.”

I made this a Harper song as soon as I saw God Complex and the “If you come back” debacle. Put DNR into this context and it works nicely. She’s feeling farther away from Monty than usual.

“I’ll never be, be what you see inside.

You say I’m not alone, but I am petrified.

You say that you are close, is close the closest star?

You just feel twice as far.”

“They feel they have no control over their prisoner’s cell.

And if you’re one of them then you’re one of me.

And you would do almost anything just to feel free.”

 Guns for Hands – Eric Jackson

“You all have guns, but you never put the safety on.”

I had this song for Indra originally. But after hearing Sachin’s interview with Meta Station, I definitely felt that Jackson would be the one most hoping that everyone would stop shooting each other. He just wants everyone to be healthy. Is that too much to ask???

“I’m trying, I’m trying to sleep.

But I can’t, but I can’t when you all have

Guns for hands.”

“But there’s hope out the window.

So that’s where we’ll go.

Let’s go outside and all join hands

But until then, you’ll never understand.”

 Trees – Indra & Gaia

“I know where you stand, silent in the trees.”

This song doesn’t have a whole lot of words. It’s a slow long with the same lyrics over and over again. And we had a really hard time deciphering who this would go to but in the end we assigned it to 2 characters. The relationship between Indra and Gaia. Indra wanting her to be a warrior and Gaia choosing to stay peaceful.

“I want to know you.

I want to see.

I want to say hello.”

“Why won’t you speak

Where I happen to be?

Silent in the trees.

Standing cowardly.”

 Truce – ALIE

“You will die but now your life is free.”

This is another one of those songs that doesn’t have a whole lot of lyrics. But I took it to mean ALIE’s downfall. She’s about to go to sleep after Clarke pulled the lever and is now just reflecting?

“Now the night is coming to an end,

The sun will rise and we will try again.”

“I will fear the night again,

I hope I’m not my only friend.”

 BONUS

Heathens – Echo

“All my friends are heathens, take it slow.”

I was thinking that I’d really love to have Heathens on this list and I looked at the other list of characters that I hadn’t used and thought that Echo would be a good one. Then I listened to the song again with an Echo lens and realised that it was perfect. Think Mount Weather Grounder Gang.

“Welcome to the room of people who have rooms of people

That they love one day, locked away.

Just because we check the guns at the door,

Doesn’t mean our brains will change from hand grenades.”

“You’ll never know the psychopath sitting next to you.

You’ll never know the murderer sitting next to you.

You’ll think ‘how’d I get here, sitting next to you?’”

THANKS FOR READING!

Tell me your thoughts on Twitter! @RobynEJeffrey

[hermionegranger]

What if this Storm Ends part 9

Chapter 7 | FF.net | AO3

Relationship: Bellarke

Summary: Picking up where season 4 left off, the penal colony has just landed on Earth, but the prisoners that exit the ship are not who Clarke expected…

A/N: This originally was going to be a one shot, but it got enough positive feedback that I decided to keep it going. Comments always appreciated! I’m also posting on Fanfiction.net& AO3.

Warnings: None.

Words: 11,427 (total)

The plan was stupid, if not a death wish.

But Murphy knew the ship like the back of his hand after living on it for three years, and better yet, the fools had begun to drag out the equipment that lived on the ship into their new makeshift tents in the glen.

Their plan was simple, survey the glen for days, steering clear of any patrols sent out into the woods, and watch for the removal of weapons and equipment from the ship.

The colony had increased their security after Murphy disappeared along with some of their guards. Luckily, they had not found the bodies yet, but it was only a matter of time, and Clarke knew it.

"We don't have much time," she had said, instructing Madi and Murphy, "we have to scout the camp and find our target as soon as possible. Any day now they could find the bodies and it will put them on high alert."

Clarke didn't mention her fear for Bellamy's safety, as she hadn't seen him, but it was another reason for the time constraint. She had ask Murphy about him when they were alone later that first night, after Madi had fallen asleep in the back of the rover.

Murphy and Clarke sat next to each other, in front of a dying fire they had used to cook the rabbits they had hunted for dinner.

She broke the silence first, "what happened?" was all she said, holding the bones and thin meet of a rabbit on a stick in front of her.

Murphy shrugged, pulling the last bite of meat off the dead animal with his teeth and throwing the remains into the fire.

"We were up there for three years, got everything working fine. We had water, food. It was hard work, but it worked, which was most important. It was hell to be stuck with the same group of people for that entire time but... I would have rather had that for another three years than what we got."

Clarke threw the remains of her food onto the fire and tugged her knees to her chest, "What... did you get?" she asked slowly.

"The colony," Murphy said flatly. "They raided the Arc, took us as their own prisoners, expecting us to know everything that happened to Earth. Needless to say, it took a long time, but they finally got us to talk." He rubbed a scar around his wrist in memory, but Clarke didn't know if it was a scar from the Grounders or the Colonists.

"But you lied," she explained for him.

"Well, we didn't know if the people in the bunker had survived, and we sure as hell didn't think you were alive, so I'm not sure if we lied or just stretched the truth... No one told them the possibilities of the bunker surviving. We hoped when we came back to Earth, they'd be here to save us. But we also expected the worst," he shrugged again.

Clarke took a deep breath, swallowing all the new information.

"So they tortured you all, but you didn't tell them about the bunker?" she asked.

Murphy just shook his head. No.

"How is..." she hesitated, and took another breath, "how was Bellamy? With it all..."

Murphy leaned back from the fire and locked eyes with her, "not well, at first."

She felt her gut drop through her feet, as if she was made of stone and feathers.

She swallowed, "at first?" she asked.

Murphy ran a hand through his hair, as he always had. For a moment she felt like the past six years hadn't existed.

"He was... grieving you, Clarke," Murphy said simply. "He didn't want to be the leader. He could hardly function. He didn't leave his room for days. If it wasn't for Raven and Murphy I don't think we would have survived."

Clarke felt the rage of tears burning behind her eyes, threatening to spill. She stared at the fire, remaining silent.

"He survived, but he didn't care, he just wanted the rest of us to survive," Murphy went on, "everyone he cared about was on Earth. You, Octavia, Kane... I'm surprised he even got on the rocket in the first place."

Clarke smiled to herself. "He had to," she explained, "he had to use his head."

Murphy hesitated and then said, "don't suppose you have any alcohol?" he asked, rubbing his arms.

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "In that flask over there," she pointed to a bag beside to rover. "Monty taught me a thing or two."

Murphy smirked and got up, retrieving the flagon. He took a large swig and sat back down, offering it to Clarke. She took it and took two large gulps and passed it back, enjoying the burn in her throat.

"What was it like?" he asked, without meeting her eyes "being alone?"

Clarke felt wave of emotions pour over her at the thought, remembering the first months alone. It wasn't days she liked to remember.

"I didn't know if you all had made it to the Arc," she said flatly."I didn't know if the bunker had survived. I suppose I still don't." She reached out for the flagon again, and Murphy obliged, handing it over. She took a large swig and kept it in her hands.

"I thought I might be the last person alive," she said a loud for the first time. She'd never expressed her fears to Madi when she found her, she didn't see a reason to. "So I used the radio. Everyday. I tried to reach you guys on the Arc. Eventually I tried to bang on the hatch of the bunker for some response, but the Deathwave had caused a huge collapse of buildings in Polis and I couldn't reach them." She took another swig and let the alcohol warm her belly before she said, "all I had was the hope that you had made it to the Arc, that I had turned on the Comms in time, and that the Bunker was sealed."

Murphy didn't say anything, just stared into the fire and reach his hand out for the flagon.

Clarke handed to him and continued, "I was alone for a long time, and I didn't think I would be able to last five years, but then I found Madi." She glanced to the sleeping hump of a girl in the back of the rover. "She's the only reason I kept living, Murphy."

Murphy glanced up and caught her gaze, boring his gaze into her as if he could read her mind.

Clarke looked back at the fire. "I thought of all the ways to kill myself," she said quietly. "I had found one gun that worked. A rifle. I thought about shooting myself with that. I thought about jumping of a cliff, like Charlotte. I thought about letting some feral animal that hard survive finish me off." The words were spilling from her mouth faster than she could think.

Murphy took another large gulp of the flagon. "Yeah. I know the feeling," was all he said.

Clarke glanced at the rover again, "but then I found her, and... suddenly I had hope that you all had survived. In the Arc. In the bunker. If she could survive, why couldn't everyone else?"

Murphy handed her the flagon. "He was a mess without you, Clarke."

Clarke accepted the drink, but only held in it in her hands, feeling her fingers constrict around the flagon. "Who?" she asked, knowing the answer.

Murphy cocked his head knowingly, "you know, Clarke. Bellamy. He wasn't himself for months. He stayed in his room. Wouldn't help us, couldn't help us. We got the algae farm up and running ourselves, like everything else."

Clarke felt her heart breaking, but she refused to let Murphy see it.

"He was broken without you, Clarke." Murphy said bluntly.

Something broke in her chest and she bit back a sob.

They sat in silence for a few moments as Clarke collected herself. Then she broke the silence, "we have to rescue them, and everyone in the bunker."

Murphy nodded, "Yeah. We do. They have Emori. They have everyone. We need to break them." There was an edge of malice in his voice.

"Then we need a plan," she began, but Murphy cut her off.

"I already have one," he said.

[voldemortstolemyass-blog]

Emotionless- part 3- the 100

Talia Kings POV

Clarke, Wells and I had just come out of the drop ship, Clarke couldn't find anything to sew my wrist up with so she said she would suture it later, when everyone was not as shocked from being on the ground and would help her, instead she tightly bandaged it up.

Everyone was surrounding John Murphy and Finn, John Murphy started to step closer to him, when Octavia Came forwards "Hey Spacewalker," She stopped behind Finn who turned around to face her, "rescue me next." Finn smiled at her.

Clarke and I walked forward as Murphy grabbed Miller. Bellamy was next to Octavia before we got to her."What?" Octavia questioned. "He's cute."

Bellamy glanced back before saying "He's a criminal."

Octavia leaned closer "They're all criminals."

"O, I came down here to protect you." He walked off and grabbed her wrist, causing Octavia to follow closely.

"I don't need protecting," Octavia yanked her wrist out of his hand, "I have been locked up all my life, in some way or other, I am done following orders." Bellamy looked down, "I need to have fun Bell," Bell must be his nickname. "I need to do something crazy just because I can, and no one is -including you- is going to stop me."

"I can't stay with mom" Bellamy started.

"Now what are you talking about," Octavia sighed.

"I did something okay?" Bellamy checked over his shoulder and looked at me where I was with Clarke, before pulling Octavia away, "To get you on the dropship, something they will kill me for when they come down, I can't say what it is just yet but you have to trust me,"He paused as Octavia looked away, "You do still trust me don't you." 

Octavia nodded. "Yeah."

Clarke and I was trying to bring back those who died, and I was eavesdropping into Bellamy and Octavias conversation. Finn walked up, "So, Mount Weather, when do we leave?" Clarke stared up while I was busy tilting his head back and keeping his mouth open, as Clarke Instructed.

Wells glared at Finn, stopping helping me, Clarke got up. "Right now," She turned around to Wells and I, "We'll be back tomorrow with food."

"How are the two of you going to carry food for a hundred," I could tell Wells didn't want Finn and Clarke alone, and as he was nice to me I decided I would volunteer to go in a while.

Finn turned around and dragged two others to us one wore goggles on his head and the other had a maroon jacket. They both looked confused. "Four of us," Finn spoke, "Can we go now?"

"Sounds like a party," Octavia walked over to us. "Make it five."

"Hey what the hell are you doing," Bellamy walked over.

"Going for a walk." The way she put it made it sound like a question.

"Nope."I said, but when I was about to finish my sentence he cut in.

He said, "See, even she agrees."

Bellamy Blake POV

"I exist as well you know, Its six." Talia said and Clarke turned to her, and shook her head.

"Talia," she spoke, "you can hardly walk, stay here. You are less likely to get hurt here." Truth I agreed, I had hardly known her a day, but she had already grown on me, She was like Octavia, someone I needed to protect, but this kind of Octavia was different, I knew that already, Not only did I not want to let her get hurt, I also wanted to kiss her.

Talia King POV 

"Hey," Clarke said stepping forward and grabbed Finns wrist, were his wristband is, "Were you trying to take this off," I looked closer at it and accidently bumping into Octavia with my wrist bashing onto her side, the one with a cut on it. 

"Sorry," I hissed in slight pain, glancing up at her slightly, she smiled down at me as I was a few inches shorter, I would say about five maybe four inches shorter.

I heard Finn saying "yeah" in the background so I turned back around, but not before seeing Bellamy stare at me, probably checking I didn't hurt Octavia. "So?"

"So? This wristband sends vital signals to the ark!" Clarke stared at him, "take it off and they'll think your dead."

"Should I care?" Finn rolled his eyes.

"Well I dunno, do you want the people you love to think your dead?" Clarke said, before I stepped in.

"The vital signs will help the ark with determining how much radiation is left down here, besides we will not survive easily if there is to much radiation." I piped up from beside Octavia.

"Do you want them to follow you down here in two months? Cause they won't if they think we're dying." Clarke mentioned. Finn looked down slightly, "Okay, now lets go."

We all started walking, and I realised Octavia wasn't with us yet so I looked back and saw her jogging up to meet us. 

Octavia started to walk with Clarke and I, "Before you get any ideas Finns mine." Octavia told Clarke.

"Before you get any ideas," Clarke paused, "I don't care."

I decided I didn't want to put up with their 'girl talk' so I caught up with Jasper, Monty and Finn.

Finn walked ahead because Octavia was ahead of him, He picked a purple flower and lifted up her hair and put the flower above her ear. "Now that my friend is game," Jasper said to Monty.

"Now that my friend is poison sumac," Monty said loud enough for Octavia to hear.

"Octavia hand went up to the flower in her hair. "What it is?" Octavia ripped it out from behind her ear.

"Relax," I said walking to beside her grabbing one of the last petals in her hair, "It has poison in all parts of the plant contain a resin called Urushiol that only causes skin and mucous membrane irritation to humans. Besides, It's not being burnt." 

"What happens when it's burnt?" Octavia turned to look at me.

"When the plant is burned, inhalation of the smoke may cause the rash to appear on the lining of the lungs, causing extreme pain and possibly fatal respiratory difficulty." I told her. "That's right, right Monty?" Monty Nodded.

"How do you know all this? I never saw you around farm station." Monty stared at me and Octavia and Jasper did the same.

"They had to provide me with learning, They stopped after they thought I wasn't listening ever lesson as I never reacted like the other kids." I told them.

"What do you mean?" One of them asked, "Reacted like the other kids? and what station are you from?"

I turned round quickly and looked at all three of them. "I mean I,didn't react at all to anything, I just sat there listening, not moving, not squirming when they went onto the more gruesome stuff. I was just there, a physical being, no more, no less." I ignored there questioning looks as if they was begging me to continue, and walked ahead of them, "Oh and I don't know what station I'm from," I said spinning round to look at them and walked backwards.

I bumped into Clarke as I was walking backwards. "Sorry" I muttered.

"Hey guys," Clarke nodded at me then looked back up to the group." Would you try and keep up?"

"Clarke, How do you block all this out?" Finn walked towards her.

"Well," Clarke started, "It's simple, I wonder why haven't seen an animals? Maybe its cause there are none. Maybe we've already been exposed to enough radiation to kill us. Sure is pretty though."

Clarke turned around and I decided I would walk with Octavia. "Alright I gotta know what you three did to get busted." Finn told us.

"Well poison Sumac isn't the only herb in the garden if you know what I mean." Monty hinted.

"Someone forgot to replace what they took." Jasper said clearly hinting at Monty.

"Someone's apologised like a thousand times," Monty continued walking.

"How about you Octavia?" Jasper asked her, "What did they get you for?"

"Being born," Octavia walked slightly ahead of the group and next to me. 

"Octavia?" Octavia glared at me slightly thing as if I was going to insult her but i wouldn't insult her. "I am in a similar boat to you." she looked questioningly at me "I was born to a guy with another child, a girl, whos also down here, The girl doesn't know but my mother was floated and my father as well, I never even got to meet my father, and I have no memories of my mother except for one."

Octavia stopped, "whos your half sister?" by now the boys had caught up.

"The only other girl in this group besides us." I told her hoping the boys wouldn't hear.

"Clarke." she muttered and continued walking up to her.

[the100fanfictionandimagines]

Emotionless -the 100 Part 3

Talia Kings POV

Clarke, Wells and I had just come out of the drop ship, Clarke couldn't find anything to sew my wrist up with so she said she would suture it later, when everyone was not as shocked from being on the ground and would help her, instead she tightly bandaged it up.

Everyone was surrounding John Murphy and Finn, John Murphy started to step closer to him, when Octavia Came forwards "Hey Spacewalker," She stopped behind Finn who turned around to face her, "rescue me next." Finn smiled at her.

Clarke and I walked forward as Murphy grabbed Miller. Bellamy was next to Octavia before we got to her."What?" Octavia questioned. "He's cute."

Bellamy glanced back before saying "He's a criminal."

Octavia leaned closer "They're all criminals."

"O, I came down here to protect you." He walked off and grabbed her wrist, causing Octavia to follow closely.

"I don't need protecting," Octavia yanked her wrist out of his hand, "I have been locked up all my life, in some way or other, I am done following orders." Bellamy looked down, "I need to have fun Bell," Bell must be his nickname. "I need to do something crazy just because I can, and no one is -including you- is going to stop me."

"I can't stay with mom" Bellamy started.

"Now what are you talking about," Octavia sighed.

"I did something okay?" Bellamy checked over his shoulder and looked at me where I was with Clarke, before pulling Octavia away, "To get you on the dropship, something they will kill me for when they come down, I can't say what it is just yet but you have to trust me,"He paused as Octavia looked away, "You do still trust me don't you." 

Octavia nodded. "Yeah."

Clarke and I was trying to bring back those who died, and I was eavesdropping into Bellamy and Octavias conversation. Finn walked up, "So, Mount Weather, when do we leave?" Clarke stared up while I was busy tilting his head back and keeping his mouth open, as Clarke Instructed.

Wells glared at Finn, stopping helping me, Clarke got up. "Right now," She turned around to Wells and I, "We'll be back tomorrow with food."

"How are the two of you going to carry food for a hundred," I could tell Wells didn't want Finn and Clarke alone, and as he was nice to me I decided I would volunteer to go in a while.

Finn turned around and dragged two others to us one wore goggles on his head and the other had a maroon jacket. They both looked confused. "Four of us," Finn spoke, "Can we go now?"

"Sounds like a party," Octavia walked over to us. "Make it five."

"Hey what the hell are you doing," Bellamy walked over.

"Going for a walk." The way she put it made it sound like a question.

"Nope."I said, but when I was about to finish my sentence he cut in.

He said, "See, even she agrees."

Bellamy Blake POV

"I exist as well you know, Its six." Talia said and Clarke turned to her, and shook her head.

"Talia," she spoke, "you can hardly walk, stay here. You are less likely to get hurt here." Truth I agreed, I had hardly known her a day, but she had already grown on me, She was like Octavia, someone I needed to protect, but this kind of Octavia was different, I knew that already, Not only did I not want to let her get hurt, I also wanted to kiss her.

Talia King POV 

"Hey," Clarke said stepping forward and grabbed Finns wrist, were his wristband is, "Were you trying to take this off," I looked closer at it and accidently bumping into Octavia with my wrist bashing onto her side, the one with a cut on it. 

"Sorry," I hissed in slight pain, glancing up at her slightly, she smiled down at me as I was a few inches shorter, I would say about five maybe four inches shorter.

I heard Finn saying "yeah" in the background so I turned back around, but not before seeing Bellamy stare at me, probably checking I didn't hurt Octavia. "So?"

"So? This wristband sends vital signals to the ark!" Clarke stared at him, "take it off and they'll think your dead."

"Should I care?" Finn rolled his eyes.

"Well I dunno, do you want the people you love to think your dead?" Clarke said, before I stepped in.

"The vital signs will help the ark with determining how much radiation is left down here, besides we will not survive easily if there is to much radiation." I piped up from beside Octavia.

"Do you want them to follow you down here in two months? Cause they won't if they think we're dying." Clarke mentioned. Finn looked down slightly, "Okay, now lets go."

We all started walking, and I realised Octavia wasn't with us yet so I looked back and saw her jogging up to meet us. 

Octavia started to walk with Clarke and I, "Before you get any ideas Finns mine." Octavia told Clarke.

"Before you get any ideas," Clarke paused, "I don't care."

I decided I didn't want to put up with their 'girl talk' so I caught up with Jasper, Monty and Finn.

Finn walked ahead because Octavia was ahead of him, He picked a purple flower and lifted up her hair and put the flower above her ear. "Now that my friend is game," Jasper said to Monty.

"Now that my friend is poison sumac," Monty said loud enough for Octavia to hear.

"Octavia hand went up to the flower in her hair. "What it is?" Octavia ripped it out from behind her ear.

"Relax," I said walking to beside her grabbing one of the last petals in her hair, "It has poison in all parts of the plant contain a resin called Urushiol that only causes skin and mucous membrane irritation to humans. Besides, It's not being burnt." 

"What happens when it's burnt?" Octavia turned to look at me.

"When the plant is burned, inhalation of the smoke may cause the rash to appear on the lining of the lungs, causing extreme pain and possibly fatal respiratory difficulty." I told her. "That's right, right Monty?" Monty Nodded.

"How do you know all this? I never saw you around farm station." Monty stared at me and Octavia and Jasper did the same.

"They had to provide me with learning, They stopped after they thought I wasn't listening ever lesson as I never reacted like the other kids." I told them.

"What do you mean?" One of them asked, "Reacted like the other kids? and what station are you from?"

I turned round quickly and looked at all three of them. "I mean I,didn't react at all to anything, I just sat there listening, not moving, not squirming when they went onto the more gruesome stuff. I was just there, a physical being, no more, no less." I ignored there questioning looks as if they was begging me to continue, and walked ahead of them, "Oh and I don't know what station I'm from," I said spinning round to look at them and walked backwards.

I bumped into Clarke as I was walking backwards. "Sorry" I muttered.

"Hey guys," Clarke nodded at me then looked back up to the group." Would you try and keep up?"

"Clarke, How do you block all this out?" Finn walked towards her.

"Well," Clarke started, "It's simple, I wonder why haven't seen an animals? Maybe its cause there are none. Maybe we've already been exposed to enough radiation to kill us. Sure is pretty though."

Clarke turned around and I decided I would walk with Octavia. "Alright I gotta know what you three did to get busted." Finn told us.

"Well poison Sumac isn't the only herb in the garden if you know what I mean." Monty hinted.

"Someone forgot to replace what they took." Jasper said clearly hinting at Monty.

"Someone's apologised like a thousand times," Monty continued walking.

"How about you Octavia?" Jasper asked her, "What did they get you for?"

"Being born," Octavia walked slightly ahead of the group and next to me. 

"Octavia?" Octavia glared at me slightly thing as if I was going to insult her but i wouldn't insult her. "I am in a similar boat to you." she looked questioningly at me "I was born to a guy with another child, a girl, whos also down here, The girl doesn't know but my mother was floated and my father as well, I never even got to meet my father, and I have no memories of my mother except for one."

Octavia stopped, "whos your half sister?" by now the boys had caught up.

"The only other girl in this group besides us." I told her hoping the boys wouldn't hear.

"Clarke." she muttered and continued walking up to her.