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lovemesomeeddiemunson · 5 months ago

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The Proposal - Part 5

Summary: When Steve Harrington is threatened with deportation, he blackmails his long suffering assistant, Eddie Munson, into marrying him. Steddie! The Proposal Au, Part 5 of 7. 4232 Words

Series Warnings: Blackmail. Food mentions. Mentions of unhealthy relationship with food. Cursing. Self harm (by means of tattooing.) Homophobia. Death of a parent. Abandonment by parents. Shitty parents. Homophobic parents. Parents with entitlement. Classism. Eventual sexual situations (no actual smut!) Brief allusion to a panic attack.

Authors Note: We're almost to the end here y'all! How we doing? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

“So, uh, you’re a Junior?” Steve’s words break the silence.

Eddie, who is laid out flat on his back, staring at the ceiling flinches in answer, his voice small. “No, I’m not.” Not technically.

“Oh, I just, I thought…” Steve tries to press, but Eddie cuts him off. He doesn't want to hear it. “It’s just a nickname.”

“Just a nickname.” Steve repeats, voice laced with doubt.

“They don’t have those in Italy?” Eddie cuttingly replies.

At which point Steve sits up and turns to glare at Eddie. “What’s your problem, man?”

Eddie shrinks under his gaze, frowning unhappily as he mutters back. “Nothing.” Unconvincingly.

Steve purses his lips at that, and presses on. “Did I strike a nerve? Is it a sore spot for you?”

“Ohhhhh. I’m sorry. That question is not in the binder.” Eddie replies with a halfhearted little chuckle.

“Oh, really? I thought you were the one that said we needed to learn everything about—“ Steve starts but Eddie shakes his head. “Not about that I didn’t.”

“But-“ Steve protests.

“Not about that, Steve. Good night.” He snaps. Regrets it when Steve flinches.

Unsure how to fix it, he stews in silence, breathing deeply, trying to come up with something. Thoughts going around and around.

He’s properly kicked himself for the whole interaction at least four times by the time Steve speaks again, his voice timid, words totally unexpected as they break the silence that had settled awkwardly over the two men sharing a bed.

“I like watching The Real Housewives.” He volunteers quietly, interrupting Eddie’s thoughts with his unprompted reveal.

“Huh?” Eddie answers in confusion, eyes still fixated upwards.

“Not in the ‘haha, isn’t that funny, he likes that trash’ kind of way. I actually quite enjoy it.” Steve murmurs back, fiddling with the blanket pulled up to his chest.

Still confused, Eddie takes it in as Steve continues, “I took ballroom dance lessons in the sixth grade…My first concert was Bob Seger and the Silver bullets…”

Clears his throat. “I think Kirk Hammett is sexy…My first kiss with a girl was with Carol Perkins when I was thirteen. Later that same year I also kissed Tommy Hagan. They’re married now.”

Eddie laughs in bewilderment.

“Never had a pet.” Steve glances at Eddie, who isn’t looking back at him, which makes it easier for him to say what he wants to say next. ”The tattoo I wanted to remove?” He asks, humming, “I got it on my ribs because I wanted it to hurt. It’s in Italian - verso cose più grandi. It means ‘Toward greater things.’ I got it after my parents disowned me.”

There’s another silent pause before he continues “I haven’t…slept with anyone in…over a year and a half. And uh…I went to the bathroom and cried after Billy suggested that I was going to die alone.”

Eddie pulls the blanket tighter around him, the statement unexpectedly tearing straight to his heart when Steve adds. “That’s my biggest fear. Or, it was.” He stammers. “Lately I’ve been much more afraid of-” he cuts himself off. Squeezes his eyes shut. Leaving the words unspoken.

“Doesn’t matter.” He whispers. A few more beats go by.

Eddie thinks he may be all out of revelations, until, in the softest voice possible, he whispers another confession that shocks Eddie to his core. “I’m uh, I’m losing my hearing.”

To which Eddie’s head finally shoots over to look at him, his jaw slack.

“I haven’t told anyone that. For obvious reasons.” Not meeting his eye, Steve clears his throat.

“Steve,” Eddie’s voice breaks. He had been coordinating this man’s entire life and he’d had no idea. None.

“It’s been gradual but - yeah. Too many concussions.” He explains with a dry chuckle. “I’ve had it checked out. Gotten a second and third opinion. It’s not a matter of if at this point, uh, it’s just a matter of when.”

He glances at the ceiling. “I guess you didn’t know. I thought you might suspect…all the emailing lately. The transcriptions I have you write up of my meetings…And then, there’s been a difference in the music. Comments you’ve made on the stuff I used to produce. How it was good. Past tense. I had more confidence in my abilities then…I didn’t rely so heavily on projections and numbers and all that bullshit that spells sales, yes, but good music?” He almost smiles. “It’s not the same. You’re right. Try as I might to fill in the gaps - experiencing the way the music feels…”

He gives a little shake of his head. “It’s not the same. And still, I couldn't do a thing without you. You, who are so loud about your opinions of the demos that artists send me when they’re worthwhile, or they’re garbage and I - I trust you.” He admits, the most damning admittance of all.

“You um. You know good music. And you know me. You’ve always been able to see me more clearly than I - than I’ve liked.” He stops. Swallows thickly, voice low again, and reserved. “I’m sure there are many, many, other things, but that’s all I can come up with right now.”

Eddie rolls back over in the bed, and clenches his eyes closed as Steve finishes.

It’s silent for a bit.

“Eddie?” Steve broaches finally, his shaky voice attributing to his vulnerability in the moment they’re sharing. “You, uh, you there?”

“I’m here.” Eddie promises softly, “Just - just processing.”

That was one way of explaining it. How his world has been tilted off of its axis. Left him fumbling for his footing, unsure.

This was unexpected.

Even Steve, as he’d clearly hated opening up to Eddie, he’d done so. Given him much more to work with than the surface level things Eddie already knew. This was a deeper intimacy than just knowing if his stove was gas or electric, and Eddie is…lost with it.

Still, he knows how to ease the tension, if nothing else. He slowly starts to smile, probing, “You really haven’t slept with anyone in almost two years?”

Steve snorts. “That’s what you got out of all of that?”

“That’s a long time.” Eddie defends himself.

“Yeah, well, firstly, you’re rounding up, and secondly, I’ve been a little busy.” Steve sarcastically answers.

Eddie chuckles, and then there’s silence again between them.

It’s comfortable, until, “Who’s Bob Seger?” Eddie suddenly asks. Steve sits up in his bed like a vampire exiting a coffin.

“Who’s Bob Seger?” Steve questions. “You - you know.” He starts singing in a surprisingly good voice, “You take those old records off the shelf - I’ll sit and listen to ‘em by myself. Today's music ain't got the same soul. I like that old time rock 'n' roll.” Steve grimaces. “You’re telling me that you work in the music industry, and you don’t know who Bob Seger is?”

Eddie’s smiling. “I was kidding…I just wanted to hear you sing.”

Steve whacks him with a pillow, both of them giggling until they settle back into the bed, silence filling the room once again.

“Steve?” Eddie asks him.

“Yes?” He replies.

Eddie gives it a beat - then changes his mind. “Thank you, for telling me.”

Steve lets out a little laugh through his nose. “Yeah…well.”

Eddie figures he owes him his truth, for the interview if nothing else. “And for what it’s worth…They call me Junior for my dad, Al…Spitting image, you know? Chip off the old block…The acorn that didn’t fall far or whatever it is you want to call it.” He chuckles humorlessly.

Goes on, “I’d never really liked it when they said that but, uh, less so now.” Steve listens, lets Eddie talk, watching his lips move. Eddie is louder than he probably needs to be, out of consideration for Steve. “A couple years back he cooked up this scheme - I should have known better, really, but what he promised it was just - so tempting. So I got involved and it - it got real dicey. People got hurt. The house burned down, all mom’s records just - gone.” Eddie exhales. “He took off to save his own ass and uh, I haven’t seen him since. He didn’t bother coming back for me.”

Steve’s heart breaks for Eddie - who continues on with his explanation like it’s all well and good now, like it didn’t permanently alter him and his own personal Munson Doctrine. “I was supposed to move to California, but after the fallout, I had to stay a bit. After everything I put Wayne through, I had to stay a bit. And he - Al - he knew how to find me in California so I…I moved to New York instead, and now, here we are.”

“Here we are.” Steve chuckles. Thinking about the insanity of it all.

But, he also knows how to ease the tension. “None of that was on your job application, by the way.” He teases.

Eddie chortles. “Steve, you have to know by now that everyone lies on their resume.”

Steve glares at him. “You had glowing references!”

“I found those names and phone numbers online, sans the proper extensions, and figured you’d probably never actually bother to call them.” He snickers.

Steve gives a faux gasp. “You lured me in under false pretenses.”

“Sure did. And now you’re marrying me. Sucker.” Eddie laughs. Steve laughs too, feeling a slight hitch in his throat.

“I…I don’t know if I properly apologized for that yet.” Steve supplies, ruining the light jovial moment with harsh realities.

Eddie winces. “No need.”

“There is a need though. Trapping you in this marriage I…I wish I hadn’t been so careless to let it come to this.” He sighs. Eddie sighs too, and doesn't berate Steve for his own negligence and mistakes. Which Steve appreciates.

“Well, it’s like you said, I’m yours now. Come hell or high water, til quickie divorce do us part.” He smiles, like Steve isn’t laying here trying to recover from Eddie calling himself his.

“Sure.” Steve says weakly, and Eddie gives him a little nudge with his foot.

“What’s done is done…and you know, for what it’s worth, I’m actually getting a pretty good deal out of this. A record deal. With a hot albeit temporary husband to parade around town, so…”

And Steve knows he’s attractive. He does. Has never doubted it, but to hear it from Eddie, when he’s complacent in all of their scheming…It messes him up a little. He gives a weak laugh at Eddie’s words, because it’s what’s expected of him, even as he’s reeling.

“Get some sleep,” Eddie says then, like it was nothing. “We’ll talk tomorrow. I want to see how your studying is going.”

Right. Studying. For the interview. An impending deadline they were steadily marching towards, and their true goal, regardless of whatever…this was.

Steve nods, and Eddie says, “Night, Steve.” softly.

Steve’s answering voice is hollow. “Buona notte, Eddie.”

Upon their return to New York, Steve is feeling deeply unsettled.

Not because of the ruse - that, in itself, remains as solid as ever.

Through a warm goodbye with Wayne and a cozy plane ride home, Eddie had played the part perfectly. A doting fiancé who wore his love on the outskirts of his sleeve.

But now, they were back, the honeymoon was over, so to speak, and Eddie was already back to himself again. A doting employee.

He runs over the list of things Steve needs to know for work the next day, and asks Steve what he needs from him, willing to give and give and give.

Steve tries not to wince. “You’re off the clock for now.” He tells him, to Eddie’s utter confusion. “Seriously.” He swears. “Get some rest. There’s nothing so important we can’t tackle tomorrow morning.”

So Eddie, in his cute band shirt and dark wash jeans, had taken his own car home. Probably unpacked. Probably ate something without guilt, played his guitar, took a nap - something fucking normal, while Steve went home, to his big empty apartment, alone.

Well not, totally empty.

“Dingus.” A female voice calls out affectionately as he walks through the door.

Rather than being disturbed by the intruder in his home, Steve’s shoulders slump in relief.

Robin Buckley - his best friend, wielder of a spare key, and the only person in the world who was privy to the inner workings of Steve’s mind - somehow always knows when he needs her.

She’s dressed well, smiling from the bar stool at his kitchen island with one of his fancy waters to sip on as his doorman deposits his bags inside, Steve passing him some cash before he goes.

As soon as he has that business settled, he’s falling into Robin's arms, almost crushing her in his encompassing hug.

“Woah!” She laughs. “It hasn’t been that long. Just a week.” Referring of course to her own trip - the one she’d disappeared on before this whole mess had gotten underway.

Steve gives a head shake in any case. “That’s like forever,” he whined as she laughed some more, ruffling his hair. Giving him a once over.

Clocking immediately that something is wrong. “Why the dark cloud, Stevie?”

He makes a face. Trying not to cry. She gets a brief flicker of panic across her face. “Oh no.” She says immediately. “Who do I need to kill?”

He wheezes out a laugh, and then, against his better judgment - involves Robin in his crimes as well. Because why not her too, on top of Eddie? Why not ruin everything he touches, like he always has. Because he’s bullshit - his love is bullshit - he…

“So…you like him. Your assistant.” Robin says finally, before he can fully spiral.

Steve nods pitifully.

“But you can’t tell him, because of the…current arrangement. And the blackmail, not to mention the work relationship you have - holy shit Steve this is so inappropriate-” she rambles.

Steve moans. “I know.”

“Well, does he like you back?” Robin suddenly asks. Steve glares at her. “Robin, please, be serious.”

“I am serious!” She defends. “You said things changed while you were out there, right? What if it wasn’t just one sided.”

“That could never happen.” Steve bites.

Robin huffs. “Why not?”

“Because he’s…good, Rob. He’s so fucking good, and sweet…And fucking, down to earth. And I’m…not.” His lip quivers.

Robin grasps his hand. “Steve…”

“There’s no way he could ever like me. This is just a…a helpless situation I’ve put him in, that he’s making the best of.” He leaves no room for argument. “I just…I had to tell you. Had to hear you say all of that. To remind me. You’re right. You’re right, and it’s fine. It’s just a stupid crush. I’ll get over it.”

Robin doesn’t look like she believe him. Which is…fair. What she says next is not.

“Or…” she starts. Steve raises an eyebrow. “Or?” He presses.

She sort of smiles, “Or you could…woo him.”

“Woo him?” Steve gapes.

“Well yeah!” She defends. “So long as your plan is to end this boss-employee dynamic, why not try and keep him? You’re pretty likable when you’re not a raging bitch. I don’t see why he would be impervious to your…charms.” She snickers.

Steve squeezes his eyes shut, tries to keep her words from invading his brain. “That’s insane.”

“Why? Because you might actually end up being happy?” She stares him down. “You deserve to be happy, Steve.”

“Not like this. Not at his expense.” Steve argues firmly.

Robin only sighs. “Just think about it, will you? Start small. Get to know him. Treat him like a person, instead of…whatever it is you do.”

Steve grimaces. Robin sits back in her seat, swinging her legs, casually adding, “I can’t wait to meet him.”

Steve looks at her funny. “Meet him?” He asks.

She rolls her eyes. “Yes, Steve. That’s how this works - you meet his family - he meets yours - or has it been so long since you’ve done this that you forgot?”

He swats at her. “Shut up.”

She laughs, “I’m serious! He sounds wonderful, and he’s going to be Mrs. Harrington - we need his blessing to continue our Bitchin’ Brunches, and oh! Do you think he’ll do the marathon with us? It’s still pretty far out, we can get him a shirt made-”

Steve lets her go, talking aloud in circles while he gives responses where appropriate. Once they’re mercifully done discussing the whole thing with Eddie, they move on to her latest field research trip, and other important topics they’ve had stirring around in their brains while they’ve been apart.

It feels good, like he’s truly come home, a feeling Steve didn’t have when he thought he was returning to an empty apartment.

And with Robin in his corner, it feels like everything else will work itself out.

Steve approaches the subject of ‘Robin’ one morning a few days later while Eddie hands him an expense report.

He presents her as a fact of his life - nonnegotiable. Eddie isn’t nearly as perturbed as some of his romantic partners have been in the past - but then again, he and Eddie weren’t really romantic partners.

“Looking forward to meeting her.” Eddie replies. And Steve kinda hates that. How easily Eddie agrees to anything he asks. And it’s not Eddie’s fault, it’s his job, it’s why he was hired, but…

Steve would be lying if he said he hadn’t spent way too much time dwelling on Robin’s words.

And he yearns.

“Oh, and uh, one more thing…she knows.” Steve adds.

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “She knows.” He repeats. Steve doesn’t like the look on his face, like he’s done something wrong.

“I…she saw right through me. In two seconds. I couldn’t lie to her. I can never lie to her…And it helps, kind of? She’ll corroborate our story. Someone in our lives had to have known, right? Even if it was a secret?” He rationalizes.

Eddie’s face is blank. “I guess.”

Steve is frustrated. “Why are you upset?”

“I’m not.” He lies. Steve glares. His expression cracks. Eddie sighs, walking on eggshells and oh Steve hates that even more.

“It’s just…we laid the groundwork, swore no one knew and now there’s another layer to it. Another person whose answers need to match, more of this I need to coordinate and I just…it’s a lot.”

Steve deflates a bit. Want to apologize but instead offers a flat, “I get that.”

Eddie exaggeratedly perks up, handing him his highlighter, “Don’t worry about it, Steve. I will figure it out.”

He goes to exit the office. Steve feels like shit, calls out. “Eddie?”

The other man stops and turns around. Steve sighs. “I’m really sorry but, I need you this afternoon, after my meeting. We have to go to my apartment.”

Eddie doesn’t mind, he had to work this afternoon anyways. Nods dutifully. “Course,’ whatever you need.”

He heads out. Steve drops his head onto the desk, feeling pain starting behind his eyes, spreadsheets forgotten.

Eddie gets back to his work day - thinking nothing of Steve’s latest request for his time.

Since the engagement, Eddie has been pulled to and fro by him in a whirlwind, always insisting on Eddie being clocked in for it, even if their business is dubious at best.

The other day he’d spent the morning with Steve at the bank and they opened a joint bank account, Steve flirting with him the whole time they were under the scrutiny of the tellers, crooning about how what was his was now Eddie’s too. Something that made Eddie’s eye twitch if he thought about it too hard.

Today it seems it will be more of the same.

As instructed, after his boss’ noon meeting, Eddie finishes up everything he needs to do and meets Steve at his apartment.

Arriving promptly, he takes the elevator up to his floor, where Steve lets him in, greeting him warmly, as if this afternoon is a distant memory - and maybe it is, but still Eddie is wary - until he sees that they aren’t alone.

He looks at Steve for clarification as to why there’s another man here, and he doesn’t miss a beat, diplomatically introducing. “Eddie, this is Johnathan. Nancy’s boyfriend.”

Eddie does a double take. “Nancy as in, Nancy Wheeler?” He asks.

Steve doesn’t sound happy about it, although he’s smiling. “Yes.”

Eddie glances back at the other man, telling him. “Um, hello.” So as not to be rude.

“Hi.” Johnathan gives an awkward wave with one hand, his other setting down a mug of coffee onto a coaster that rests on Steve’s expensive coffee table.

Then Johnathan stands. “Now that you’re here, I’m gonna go finalize the set-up.” He disappears from the living room at his words, heading to another area of the penthouse.

Eddie watches him go before glancing at Steve with concern and asking “Why is your ex’s girlfriend’s boyfriend here, and what is he setting up?”

“Johnathan’s a photographer.” Steve explains to him, begrudgingly admitting. “The best, actually.”

Then his voice lowers as he continues. “He’s also discreet. No investigative prodding like you might get with his romantic counterpart.” The jab comes so naturally even as he bulldozes past it.

“I figured, since we needed to take some pictures, that he would be a good bet.” Steve rubs the back of his neck.

“Pictures.” Eddie repeats.

“For the engagement announcement. Or…whatever else we might need them for.” He looks meaningfully at Eddie. “I thought we’d start with some formal staged pictures here? And then get some candid photos at our usual date spots?”

Oh.

Eddie understands. “Right. Of course. And Johnathan is the best. Makes sense.”

Steve briefly looks exhausted before he carefully smoothes his face over. “I-I didn’t hear what you said. But, nod? If we’re good?”

Eddie nods.

Steve nods too. “Okay. Good. Uh, come with me, please.”

Eddie can’t remember the last time Steve said ‘please’ to him…Actually, well, he’d gotten a sarcastic one with his proposal…but a genuine please? It’s…strange.

Nonetheless Eddie follows as Steve leads him to his office. Inside there are three racks of clothes tucked to the side. When Eddie goes to peruse through them, he’s surprised. “These are mine.” He says in confusion.

Steve nods. “Your bandmate Gareth had a spare key.” Steve had made some calls. Some assumptions too, figuring if his best friend had full access, that maybe… “I though that authentic would be better.”

Eddie takes him in for the first time then - his soft looking yellow pullover and jeans. Is this who he is? Authentically?

“I’ll make sure you have one of your own. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.” Eddie tells him. Simple enough. This was the man he was supposed to marry - and if nothing else, con aside, there was trust between them. Steve had admitted that he trusted Eddie, and Eddie, in his own way, trusted Steve too.

Not to mention that Eddie had had unfettered access to Steve’s apartment for years. What was a little reciprocation, in light of that?

Eddie leaves it at that, attention elsewhere as he starts combing through the racks, sweetened by his getting to choose. Eventually he decides he wants to dress up, just a little bit.

Settling on black once again, it’s a softer version of his usual style.

A nice belt with a simple silver buckle, to accompany a pair of high waisted jeans that are free of rips or blemishes, and a shirt with a low cut that exposes his collarbones and some of the skin of his chest, a peak of a tattoo, the black fabric interrupted by an occasional floral pattern or rose composed of an orangish-red or cream color.

Satisfied with his find - Eddie disappears to go change, before rejoining Steve, his hands fidgeting with his hair.

“Up or down?” He asks, and Steve, who had been staring at him - lips parted - seems to snap out of it. Gesturing for Eddie to stay still before he steps into his personal bubble.

Hello.

He gently takes a handful of Eddie’s hair, winding and unwinding and unraveling it in and around his palms - before he manipulates it into a makeshift hairdo, trying to get a feel for whether it should be pulled out of Eddie’s face or left down.

“Hm…up. You have such a pretty neck.” Steve’s lips are hinting at a smile, and Eddie wishes he had chosen for him to leave it down - because said neck is currently flushing at the compliment and Eddie knows Steve can see it.

What the hell?

Then Eddie notices Johnathan, lingering in the doorway and pretending to still be adjusting his camera settings, and he feels as though he’s had his veins dipped in ice water.

Right. This wasn’t real. Steve didn’t really like his neck or find him pretty. It was all a performance.

And Eddie’s a performer. He can do this. Playing along, he grins back at Steve, showing too much teeth. “You know your sweet talking gets me all riled up, big boy.”

Steve looks…elated. “You promise?”

Jesus H. Christ.

A weak chuckle, and Eddie bats him away before gathering his hair in his own hands, pulling it up high, trying to sort the smaller pieces into something artfully messy.

Steve lingers, fingers twitching like he wants to intervene, but lets him be, still looking at Eddie even as he angles his body and asks Johnathan, “Where do you want us?”

Series Masterlist Next Part: Part 6 Previous Part: Part 4

#eddie munson #stranger things #eddie stranger things #eddie munson fic #steve harrington #steddie #robin buckley #stranger things fic #the proposal steddie #steddie au #platonic stobin #hard of hearing steve harrington #johnathan byers #nancy wheeler #steve and eddie #steddie fic #the proposal au

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milliesfishes · 1 month ago

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౨ৎTBOSAS Notes (Ch 1-7)꣑ৎ

Is a bit long I'm sorry hehe (also a some of the things I wrote down are potentially to remember for later for connections)

꣑ৎ he cries over the picture books oh baby :(

꣑ৎ Interesting that his family was slave in a way to the wealthy with Tigris's situation

꣑ৎ "His mind could fixate on a problem like that- anything really- and not let go. As if controlling one element of his world would keep him from ruin. It was a bad habit that blinded him to other things that could harm him." His anxiety is so heartbreaking to me especially in his current situation. I think this is part of what drew me to the character- the painful relatability and anger at yourself for having it to begin with :(

꣑ৎ "He loved her but she'd lost touch with reality years ago." Love the choice to have a character who represents what once was through Grandma'am. Coryo always has a reminder of the past through her and it is amplified because she's family.

꣑ৎ His family saying he'd be president someday...it's an obvious foreshadowing but it brings new light to his destiny and his goals, even if he disregarded it at first.

꣑ৎ Pressure on him as the last son- he has so much responsibility on him and he's so young oh poor baby. His mindset really shows how determined he is to fix everything and there's definitely a man of the house mentality in that.

꣑ৎ Tired of people saying he never loved Tigris- he absolutely did. The way he asks about the shirt details because he knows she wants to talk about it and listens to her and looks to her for guidance...he did love her a lot and that makes her future so much more heartbreaking.

꣑ৎ "...his only real currency was charm..."

꣑ৎ There's such an interesting connection between the Plinths and the Snows- both made their money through investments but one thrived off the others failure unintentionally. Coryo's feelings toward Sejanus would be more justifiable if he'd never met him. Still, it's understandable to have some bitterness because Sejanus brushes off his place while Coryo would give anything to be in it.

꣑ৎ Part of the reason Coryo is drawn to Lucy Gray at first is because her dress reminds him of pre-war times :( which incidentally end up being times they both long for, when they had parents.

꣑ৎ Sejanus was the first one to catch that the Reaping was rigged for Lucy Gray

꣑ৎ Coryo's relationship with food is nawwt talked about enough (I will probably have more to say about it as I read further). And the connection of wartime rationing to the name of the Hunger Games is SO GOOD. "Amid the violence of the Games, there was a silent agony that everyone in Panem had experienced, the desperation for enough sustenance to bring you to the following sunrise." OHHHHH

꣑ৎ Dean Highbottom calling him out in public...and with Coryo's preoccupation with status...his grudge against Coryo is so unreasonable. And in the end one could say that he turned out to be right but maybe if he'd never had the grudge things wouldn't have ended how they did. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy in a way.

꣑ৎ "Everyone knew what happened if you went to the districts. You were written off. Forgotten. In the eyes of the Capitol you were basically dead." Oh the foreshadowing

꣑ৎ Talking about the gamemaker in training (more foreshadowing) "...paid just enough and provided a stepping-stone to the future."

꣑ৎ Connects the train whistle signaling Lucy Gray's arrival to his father's death. Interesting when at the end of this story, he is essentially rebirthed more alike to his father.

꣑ৎ "He again had the impression that he was witnessing a performance, but a private one this time." Oh Lucy Gray the woman you are

꣑ৎ He goes to catch up with her when he thinks she might think he’s useless 😭😭loser I love him (and he doesn’t want her to think he’s a coward hehe)

꣑ৎ “Didn’t they have jobs? Shouldn’t the children be in school? No wonder the country was such a mess.” I love him 😭

꣑ৎ In a way she teaches him to perform as she does

꣑ৎ Love the Roman origin of so many of these names

꣑ৎ “People were easy to manipulate when it came to their children.” Hunger Games tribute reasoning as well

꣑ৎ I love that he loved the fluffy white cat oh 😭

꣑ৎ There’s something about how he wins Gaul over by finishing a children’s rhyme…stay tuned

꣑ৎ The contrast between how Sejanus brushes off the press after feeding tributes and how Coryo caters to them…

꣑ৎ It’s so interesting how Lucy Gray takes the things she says and weaves them into her songs word for word

꣑ৎ Interesting how Lucy Gray refuses to be associated with District Twelve, making her even more mysterious in the decades to follow

꣑ৎ Her song reminding him of his mother :((

꣑ৎ Sejanus’ empathy and defiance against the games is truly unmatched- he’s the only one unafraid to go all the way and openly defy authority. But his family’s money probably also gives him more room to do so whether he realizes it or not.

꣑ৎ Coriolanus keeps Lucy Gray both because he wants to spite Sejanus and because if she wins it would make him look better…hmm

꣑ৎ It’s hard for him to talk about his mother still oh :((

꣑ৎ Interesting how Gaul encourages Sejanus to share his opposing views openly in class

꣑ৎ Coryo hating group projects is the realest thing

꣑ৎ “Sure would have been nice to meet you under different circumstances.” :((

꣑ৎ Coryo in these chapters is hard for me not to relate to because he’s just so anxious. He’s definitely a product of his circumstances- the post-war obsession with status and appearance really got to him.

꣑ৎ Arachne’s death is a sort of turning point- he was so young with his mother and father. But his reaction was intriguing- he cried over it and thought about it quite a bit but I think even though this death is different he’s very desensitized to it.

꣑ৎ He hates Livia so much it’s kinda funny

꣑ৎ Interesting that he’s being praised for what Lucy Gray urged him to do- go to Arachne and try to save her. That probably draws him to Lucy Gray even more and helps him start to trust her.

꣑ৎ He feels safer underground- nothing can get to him...District 13 being underground...eventually destroys him...ohhh

꣑ৎ Also on that note District 13 was associated with his downfall two times in his life. With his family's fortunes and with he himself.

꣑ৎ Gaul being associated with nearly killing one of his closest friends- keep it in mind.

If you read this far I love you and I’m sorry this got so wordy hehe 🫶🫶🫶

#coriolanus snow #milliesfishes coryo #tbosas #tbosas notes #president snow #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg tbosas #millie reads: tbosas

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earlgreytea68 · 1 year ago

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Hello there! I hope you don't mind me bothering you, but I was just pondering a line from GINASFS:

"It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you"

At first, I took it to be a purely romantic line, that Pete feels he was always destined to be with the person in every universe, and that it was only a matter of time until they found each other. But then again, it also feels like it's sort of talking about a relationship built purely out of obligation. Everyone thinks we're supposed to be together, so I guess I have no choice but to stay with this person, even if it makes me unhappy.

Maybe a bit of both?

You're way more eloquent than I am when it comes to analyzing FOB lyrics, so if you'd be willing, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Okay, I am always saying that Pete Wentz is a genius with packing simple words with multiple meanings, like, every time you turn around you uncover a new meaning to what he's saying, I totally get why Patrick says he's still discovering them even years later. He is seriously SO GOOD at this and he's got SUCH a light touch, like, it's hard to do and he really does make it look so easy (doing something so hard, etc.) and I think that's why he seldom gets the credit for how smart he is as a writer, because he's SO good at it that it's easy to dismiss it as an accident, a mistake, unintentional, he didn't see all those meanings, he didn't mean to do that, he just happened into it.

Except nobody happens into so much poetry so consistently.

(and it's true he cultivates the impression by always being so "aw shucks does this even make any sense I have no idea what they're about" about his own lyrics)

ANYWAY. That introduction is my way of saying that yessssss, this is one of my favorite examples of how brilliant Pete is at saying two things at once (or more than two even).

Like, it's funny, this is like a Rorshach test, I always read the line as: "I know I'm SUPPOSED to love you, so I guess I'll pretend that I do," like, to me this is a line all about, tbh, not fitting into a heteronormative role, knowing that you're SUPPOSED to love this other person but it doesn't feel right. And it was only later that I realized the reading that you had first: Ohhhhh, it could also be I'm supposed to love you, like, you're my destiny.

And I just love so much that it works perfectly on both levels at the same time, like, this song is about what you think it's about, basically, and that is just such genius of Pete Wentz packing in those layers. I think you can listen to G.I.N.A.S.F.S. and think, "Oh, this is about a guy falling in love with a girl who's his destiny, how sweet," like, certainly that would be the reading of the guy who wrote the Fall Out Boy autobiography.

Or you could listen to G.I.N.A.S.F.S. and be like, Oh, this is about a guy who's in love with his best friend and actually can't get himself to fit into the expectations of the world at large. He's SUPPOSED (expected) to love the girl. But, wait, he's SUPPOSED (destined) to love the guy. IT'S BOTH AT THE SAME TIME. IT'S JUST SO SMART THIS WAY hahahaha. I will just cherish this reading for all time because it's just so good. And the ambiguity is in the entire song. There is literally nothing in that song that would lead you to believe in any way that it's about a heterosexual relationship. To be fair, there's also nothing that flashes it's about a homosexual relationship (other than maybe the title being a hint tbh). But Pete's songs are always like that. They're only about heterosexual relationships if that's what you bring to them, because he usually writes too ambiguously for that (or Patrick adds a hetero detail in). He walks through the house in your shoes -- that's a line that actually makes more sense if you think the song is addressed to a guy, because probably he's not the same size foot as a woman, although maybe.

But anyway: yeah. That line is honestly everything.

#peterick #fall out boy #fob

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bitchsister · 7 months ago

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i need more of bucky punishing curtie for being a brat, maybe throw in some other mota characters like dickie or something? curtie flirting with his college friend to make a very busy bucky jealous cause he's not getting enough attention/sex lol

Pt. 2 from anon: a continuation from my ask abt more bucky punishing curt, what if this time bucky asks gale to do it for him instead, like he dictates everything, and gale may or may not be reluctant at first but succumb to his own horniness in the end 😈

Once again I had to force myself not to write 5 chapters of this.

Summer Project on Ao3

🚩Don’t read if you’re not down with: spanking, daddy is used once, sharing, kinda poly?

special mentions:

Anonymous asked:

thinking about curtbucky (or curtbuckygale) and spanking. that’s all!

Anonymous asked:

Ohhhhh we need more of Curt’s punishments omgggg

“And you saw Pompeii?” Gale asked, sat at their usual spot in Bucky’s study, Curt lounging near his window seat as he flipped through a magazine, still looking jet lagged a week later with a European tan.

“Mhm.” Curt nodded slowly, his eyes peeking over at Gale from behind the magazine in his lap, his calf resting against the top of his bent knee, slouched against a decorative pillow. “Turned ‘em poor guys into ceramics.”

Bucky practically choked, spluttering coffee onto the case papers in front of him, groaning when he wiped the mess away with his sleeve. “Curtis.” He murmured, “Jesus.”

Gale smirked, leaning back in his chair as he eyed the two of them with his hands clasped over his abdomen, one leg crossed over the other.

“What?” Curt piped up, brows furrowed at Bucky. “Is it too soon, or somethin’?” He waved a hand at John and shook his head before turning his attention back to the magazine he flipped through, “Be forreal.”

Curt had been spending more time in the study with them lately because it seemed these days it was the only way he’d see Bucky awake, or at the very least, not half asleep .

He understood, but that was because he had to.

He supported Bucky, but he’d been feeling a little unimportant

Eventually, Gale and Bucky had taken a break from their papers for cigarettes and coffee in the garden while Curt laid on a lounger by the pool, talking loudly on FaceTime with one of his campus friends called Rosie.

It wasn’t until Curt propped his phone up against his big clunky water bottle covered in stickers that Bucky had turned to watch, his sights narrowed in behind his sunglasses.

“Thought Rosie was a girl.” Gale murmured, hearing a man’s voice on the other end of the line from the phone Curt had been showing off his swim trunks in front of, and his tan line by pulling them down below his hip bones.

“Me too.” Bucky huffed through the puff of smoke he blew into the sky like some kind of fuming dragon.

You like ‘em?

Oh, shut up, Rosie.

Nah, nah. You got better ones than me!

Oh, fuckin’ stop.

Gales eyes darted around anxiously as he fought the incessant urge to chew his nails to the bone — Curt was up to no good, and Bucky was on his case like the goddamn ambulance chaser he used to be fresh out of law school.

“Are we seeing the same thing?” Bucky asked the ether, his sunglasses lowered on the bridge of his nose as he watched — Gale hardly wanted to answer, but even he would admit he was almost impressed by Curt’s ballsiness.

“I think so.”

Curt was giggling, kicking his feet, belly laughing, speaking through fingertips he chewed on, just playing coy.

“You gonna do somethin’?” Gale whispered, eyeing Bucky who always kept his composure, though through the years Gale had been able to pick up on his few little tells that indicated he was seething or just plain fed up.

“Mm,” Bucky held his cigarette between his teeth. “No. But you will.”

“What?”

“Well, I can’t always be the one keeping ‘em in check.” Bucky grinned, though every word he uttered was laden with some serious venom that Gale was afraid to touch, but he’d already been bitten. “He’s being bad, isn’t he?”

Gale rolled his neck, unsure of exactly what to say next, but still he spoke. “He’s being a brat. What’s new, John? He’s a diva.” He wiggled in his chair, leaning back further in it to force his body to relax. “We all know this.”

Bucky straightened his back and whistled to get Curt’s attention. “Hey!” he called, watching Curt snap upright to peek his head over a rose bush near the pool.

“What?”

“C’mere.” Bucky’s tone was ridged and it seemed Curt knew exactly what that meant.

Gotta go, Rosie.

No, no, no. We’re still on for tomorrow.

Yeah, five is fine.

Eventually, Curt lazily strode over to the table beneath the cabana and plucked a few strawberries from the center, sucking the juice from them until they were nothing but tiny green nubs. “What?” He asked again, his lips tugged into a smirk.

“What are you guys doing tomorrow?” Bucky asked casually, eyeing Curt up and down like a snake ready to strike a baby bird from its nest. “Big plans?”

Curt rolled his eyes and draped himself over Gale, slotting his bottom between his thighs and wrapping his arms around his shoulders, like he’d save him from the onslaught. “We’re working on our project, Bucky.” He reached up to push Gales blonde hair away from his eyes, watching him melt when he did.

“Summer project, hm?”

Curt’s cheeks turned red, his nose buried in Gales neck.

Curt was loyal to Bucky. And he always would be. But Rosie seemed fun, and at the very least enjoyed giving Curt some attention when Bucky was too busy to look at him in swim trunks, and Gale was right there beside him with his nose in paperwork most days.

Bucky eyed Gale who’d instinctively wrapped his arms around Curt’s little body to hold him closer, his chin resting on his warm shoulder. “He’s lying to us now, Gale.” He clicked his tongue. “That’s not what good boys do, hm?”

Gale had gone quiet like he was protecting a puppy who’d eaten their case files from a harsh scolding, lips tugged into a straight line when he sighed through his nose.

Bucky had realized that after their trip he’d been spending far more time with Gale in his study than anywhere else with Curt — but he’d made it clear to him that their time away would mean he’d have to play catch up once they got back home.

Neither of them seemed to realize it would be so much, though.

“It’s summer. I’m so bored.” Curt sighed heavily and turned in Gales lap so he was facing Bucky, “You’ve hardly looked at me in a week.” He then turned his head to look at Gale. “Both of you.”

Well, that was a twist of the knife.

Gale and Bucky locked eyes for a moment, the papers in front of them long forgotten now with a needy and deserving Curtis in front of them. Bucky remembered how much Curt liked the spanking he got when he was bent over the leather seats of their rental Audi, the one Bucky had such a horrendous time parting with on their last day of vacation.

“You want some attention, Curt?” Bucky stubbed his cigarette out in an ashtray, his sunglasses pushed up into his brown curls as he watched Curtis feverishly nod his head, body wiggling against the lump already forming in Gales denim.

“Bend over for Galey, then.”

Gales cheeks immediately went pink, his blue eyes going round once he saw Curt immediately scramble to obey, so very giddy to be the center of attention again — so much so, he’d completely forgotten about Rosie’s existence.

Bucky rose a brow at Gale when he didn’t make any moves, frozen in place instead with his hands picking at his hangnails in his lap. “Pull his trunks down, Cleven.” He murmured, rising to circle the table and stand behind Gale who sat nervously. “Don’t be a pussy.” He leant down and whispered in his ear. “He can smell fear.”

Gale reached forward eventually and pulled Curt’s tight trunks down to his ankles where they were almost immediately kicked away, thighs spread apart a few inches and his back curved to perk his ass up at Gale who could hardly believe his eyes.

He knew eventually they’d need to have a talk.

One that would make his heart flutter and his eye twitch, but one that would be needed, nonetheless.

What am I?

What is this ?

What are we?

Is it anything?

Fuck.

“He lied to us, remember?” Bucky leaned over the cushioned patio chair, palms flattening over Gales heaving chest to soothe him before he reached forward and landed a heavy handed crack over Curt’s ass, a little jump and a big moan squeezed out of him.

“Ow.” Curt whimpered, laying his head over the table he was bent over. “Y’ain’t gonna spank me, are you, Galey?” He planted his feet even further apart, cheeks spread enough to put himself on display. “You won’t hurt me, will you?”

Bucky nipped at Gales ear before he whispered again, “Don’t let ‘em get in your head.” He knew exactly the little game Curt was playing and how it’d effect Gale, who walked around ant hills because they worked so hard on them, or scooped spiders into glasses and took them outside because it’s not their fault they came to the wrong place at the wrong time. “C’mon, Cleven. Show ‘em he’s your boy, too.”

Gale swallowed the lump in his throat, his fingers tingling and his cock throbbing against layers of cotton and denim restriction that felt more like a raging fire burning in his loins — he wanted to use his tongue, his lips, his fingers, so unfamiliar with the prospect of giving pleasure through pain.

He rose his hand eventually, smacking his hand down over the same pink handprint Bucky had left on Curt’s skin who giggled into his hands, “Gonna have to try harder than that if you’re gonna teach me a lesson, Gale.” He grabbed a strawberry and shoved it into his mouth, murmuring around it. “Light work.”

He yawned.

He fucking yawned.

That must have struck a chord because Gale was reaching out again to reposition Curt’s hips just right, trying his hand once more over the welt that was forming on Curt’s right cheek that stung that time, a hiss sucked through his teeth when he jumped again at the radiating heat that climbed up his back and surged through his spine. “Ouch, Galey.” He whined, sporting a fake pout through the smirk covered in strawberry juice.

Then came another.

And another.

Harder and harder each time.

Eventually, Gale was panting, pulling Curt closer by his hips and pressing kisses to the bottom of his spine while he whimpered and whined, reaching backward for a hand that Bucky had given him to hold. “All eyes on you, baby.” He murmured as he reached forward to touch the warm welts on his cheeks. “This what you wanted?”

Curt nodded, blinking away the tears in his eyes as he rocked his hips against the table he laid over, his cock pressed between the cloth draped over it and his belly. “Yes, Daddy. Yes.” He was still panting, still so so whiney.

“Galey is so nice to you, darlin’. He’s kissing you all better.”

#💌#yoyo writes #Curtbuckygale #mota #masters of the air #lcau

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nalyra-dreaming · 5 months ago

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Hi!

I never get tired of talking about Loustat, Lestat or Louis😀

I adore Lestat’s mistakes and fumbles and flaws, making him more human than immortal. I like the fact that Sam adores Lestat but also sees him as a clown—Lelio, on stage, performing. Lestat can be so much fun with his failure to recognize what he’s doing sometimes and asking quite perplexed, “Why are they mad at me?” This trait can be adorable and frustrating.him, once again I adore that about him.

To me Louis is his grounding point. Oh, the love these two have for each other is, need I say it, EPIC ❤️

We are so lucky that Rolin Jones respects the material. I’ve seen adaptations from books that are unrecognizable. May AMC never switch show runners. (I’m thinking of the debacle of tv show “Sleepy Hollow” which started out in its first season a treasure then a new show runner and it became nearly unwatchable.)

But back to IWTV—YES—almost perfect😀

Ha, yeah, no I never get tired of talking about them either^^

I also love Lestat sometimes being somewhat perplexed, but I adore that in later books he is aware of the why... and just accepts it. Takes responsibility, too, but he also accepts himself and his traits more fully there.^^

And Louis. Louis is the anchor. He and Lestat are what the chronicles are built on, and I know I said it before, but I love that we get to see their arcs closed, an arc that took 50 (book) years?! How amazing is that????

Ohhhhh and I remember Sleepy Hollow! I did not know that the show runner had changed - and we were totally perplexed at the tone change back then when we watched it (I believe that was season 3 though?), and it was just a catastrophe. What a shame btw, I really loved the first seasons!!!

Luckily it seems as if this won't happen to us, given that Rolin signed a multi year contract with AMC and said he'd only be doing IWTV :))) I seriously cannot wait to see what he cooks up :)

I am so excited to see what or who will be announced at SDCC tbh. Knowing they are doing something (once more) is so exciting!! Last year's "Street of Immortality" was such a cool idea, I hope they do something like that again! And what if we get casting announcements?!??!!!

#chryed3 #ask nalyra #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire

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salty-dracon · 2 months ago

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hsr 2.5 quest yeeeeeee

feixiao is fun, she's chill but not in a boring way. she's chill in a fun way

marchieeee you've gotta do important thingsssss

love how jing yuan hears lingsha spouting some shit and gives lingsha basically a giant ap xianzhou history lesson on what politics actually went down

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY???

jiaoqiu: listen guys I can't just give you drugs and call it a day. I gotta do this shit to you link breath of the wild tears of the kingdom style.

jdjskdghddhkd jiaoqiu's two options were 'taunt them' and 'turn them against each other'

game be like IF YOU ASK FOR HELP YOU WILL DIE DONT ASK FOR HELP YOUR ENSLAVERS WILL KILL YOU

this guy sucks. I hope he gets bodied in a really boring way. by a foxian. I hope yukong hits him with the homegoods concrete brick.

writers be like "we're gonna psychologocally torture this fox guy because we really need the fandom to like him"

hey what are you doing? hsr characters can't climb trees! that's illegal!

feixiao is so epic lmao

LET HIM COOK (LET HIS ENGLISH VA COOK!)

also shoutout to hoolay's VA because his work is unique in these sorts of games and it fucks severely

they got coca cola ads in the wardance ring LMAO

I wish feixiao's battle intro was longer and had more oomph to it lol (2seconds later) LMAO HER TECHNIQUE

ngl I kind of find the xianzhou generals' similarities a little boring. "they're good leaders with high respect for the chain of command but they're a little bit silly" gets boring after a while. need more random weirdos from this locale who have nothing to do with the military or government. need xianzhou sampo. the independent unlicensed dentist

feixiao wields awesome power and she keeps showing it off in funnier and funnier ways

dude you cannot bring American capitalism into this. the coca cola ads are just gonna be "limited wolf edition"

I knew the moment they announced owlbert was here that hoolay would arrive in 0.9 seconds. he doesn't have an ingame model, if he did it would have been leaked weeks ago

xianzhou stories be like: and actually jing yuan thought of everything and this went all according to his plan because he's so good at this (both affectionate and derogatory)

and so the fate of the xianzhou lies in the palms of two fifteen year olds and the nineteen year old cousin they taught swordfighting to last month

I want my gender to be big werewolf with sword so bad. AND his animations are insane

HEY DOES HE DIE??? DID HE PUT POISON INSIDE HIS OWN BODY AND LET THE GUY EAT HIM. IS THAT WHAT HE DID. THEY MISTRANSLATED PEPPERS AS CHILIS

YANQING I KNEW YOU WEREN'T COMPLETE TRASH

oh. oh that's not good. that's not good. I think that's not good at all. how did you fit a whole moon in your chest

oh okay she's got some kind of divine beast in her body. that's unreasonably cool

ohhhhh she's a boss fight. that's hot

yeah I figured this out once he did the crimson moon trick. if feixiao has borisin blood and she eats his heart, she'll become a new warhead, similar to the line of succession in laceron

hoolay: foxian and borisin are just labels, be who you want!

feixiao: then why do you keep calling people slurs

KILL THE MONSTER WITHIN YOURSELF BE THE HUNTER EARN THE GAZE OF A GOD YOOOOO

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waterfire1848 · 1 year ago

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Could you do something where Zuko and Azula are banished from the Fire Nation together/Azula goes with Zuko when he is banished please? 😊

Thanks for the ask!!!

Ohhhhh….I really like this. Tell me if you were looking for something else.

I think for this you’d have to do Azula getting banished as well because I can’t see canon Azula going with Zuko and away from her father, the person she wants to impress more than anything. As for why she’s banished though, I can see Ozai banishing her because he believes she’s too powerful or maybe he’s worried that she’s been too influenced by her mother.

While Zuko is recovering from his burn, Azula would be recovering from being away from the palace for the first time. She’s eleven and is leaving home, to never return, for the first time. I have no trouble believing that this would cause her some panic. She spends the first few days having to get used to sailor food, not having servants and not having Ozai around all the time.

When Zuko does wake up, the two can at least bond over wanting to prove themselves to their father. Zuko still wants to go after the Avatar and Azula is stuck between knowing that isn’t a possibility and wanting to as well because she knows it’s their only chance to go home. Zuko and Azula then spend the next three years sailing the EK and Fire Nation and looking for Aang. Azula cuts her hair as well into bob haircut that goes to her shoulders.

There's a really good fic called Book 1: Release (Air) by alligator_writes that has Azula getting banished with Zuko

Small scene below

Azula couldn’t sleep. The waves were bad tonight and it was hard for her to go to bed when the ship kept tossing and turning. After about two hours of attempting to sleep, Azula glared at the ceiling and decided to leave. She'd only been on the ship for a week now but she knew how to get to the room she wanted to go to. Slowly, so as not to wake her uncle, she made her way to her brother's room. He was still pretty much out of it but his eye did open when Azula came in.

"Azula?" He groaned.

"Shut up. I can't sleep so now you can't sleep."

"What are you doing?" He asked as Azula grabbed a chair then came to his side of the bed.

"I told you. I can't sleep, so now I'm going to stay here."

"Oh. Sorry about getting you banished."

Azula looked away, "You should be. If you had just kept your mouth shut at that meeting none of this would be happening."

"I know."

Azula didn't like this. He wasn't supposed to just agree with her without a fight. He was supposed to argue then she'd argue back and they'd both declare that the other was stupid and make up two hours later. She didn't like this Zuko that just agreed with her.

"Can you pass me the medicine?" Zuko asked.

Azula grabbed the medicine and passed it to her brother. The healer on their ship wasn't the bed and the medicine wasn't great. On their first day at sea, Azula had heard Zuko screaming in pain and all the healer could do was put medicine on his wound. She had also heard the healer say that there was a good chance of infection. Azula really didn't want to think about what would happen if Zuko's burn got infected.

For now, she just gave him the medicine so he could get back to bed. Whenever he had it, he usually got tired a few minutes later. While he took his medicine, Azula grabbed a nearby book to read for her long night. A few minutes later, she could hear her brother snoring.

"It's not your fault." Azula whispered, "Just-Just get better, dum-dum. I can't be banished by myself. Please don't make me do it alone." After a few seconds of listening to her brother snore and the waves crash against the ship, Azula returned to her book.

She swears, even if Zuko has no memory of saying it, that she heard Zuko say, "I'll be there, Lala."

#ask #azula #zuko #azula banished with zuko #avatar the last airbender

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 10 months ago

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Ohhh heheheeeeeHEHEEHHEEEEE giggles and rubs my hands together evilly. so we’ve had cult leader!geto and you who’s mad at him… and we’ve also had you who’s slowly accepting loving him…. But what about cult leader!geto and reader that’s just. Moved on. Accepted it when he left because of the understanding that it’s just the way life goes. Doesn’t mean to say that you didn’t miss him, that you still don’t, it just means that you understand that there’s no point being angry about things you can’t change, so you let it go. Obviously, it’s sugu. There’s no replacing him. But you don’t try to replace him, you just carry on with life. You find other people who are special to you and you don’t try to fill the hole he left in your heart, you accept it, heal it, and work around it. He sees you again years later and he excepts you to be angry at him — wishes that you’d be angry at him — but you’re not, you just smile at him. There’s no anger in your eyes, no bared teeth or quips of bitterness, just a soft kind of understanding that you can forgive him and carry on with your life without allowing him back in. IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE PLEASE…. It’s not quite you forgiving him and loving him, moreso just understanding and accepting that he was someone very special, but just not accepting him into your life again. He can’t exactly tame you because you’re not angry. There’s no storm to wait out, there’s no rage for him to soothe. Nonchalance and acceptance I think is the best way to combat him methinks… :333 OMGGG think of that beabadoobee song “the way things go” ohhhhh..

“Passed your house when I was on the train, in my mind you’ll always stay the same.” “And there’s so much left to say, I guess I’m just the bigger guy.” “A distant memory I used to know, oh I guess that’s just the way things go.” SCREAMS!!!! AUGGHHH IM SORRY THIS IS WAY TOO LONG BUT. AUGHH I could scream ab sugu forever…. <333 — stsg anon !!

STSG ANON i need you to know that this broke me. gutted me. i feel numb inside THIS IS SUCH A TASTY SCENARIO I’M SCREAMING

okay so. just putting this out there; i think this would break him. lmao. this is the cruelest thing you could do to him because it’ll hurt him like nothing else. and he deserves it!! this is the best possible scenario for you, but the worst for him. and that’s just….. soooo bittersweet.

He sees you again years later and he excepts you to be angry at him — wishes that you’d be angry at him — but you’re not, you just smile at him. There’s no anger in your eyes, no bared teeth or quips of bitterness, just a soft kind of understanding that you can forgive him and carry on with your life without allowing him back in.

goshhhh stsg anon…………. the way you wrote this…………. :(((( i’m in awe of you always. this made me so so emotional i’m just ……… hhhhhhh…… my heart is crumbling a tiny bit but i’m gonna try to be coherent…… T_T

i think geto would be happy for you. i think that despite his own feelings, he’d ultimately make the painful choice to respect your wishes and stay out of your life. it hurts him but there’s also this sense of inevitability — this is the natural consequence of his actions. he was a fool for expecting anything else, hoping for anything else. but a part of him always wished that you could be together again; and i think that wish hurts him more than anything.

geto really is just a lonely guy at the end of the day, and the thing about his ideal world is that it doesn’t even just boil down to a world without non-sorcerers — to geto, it boils down to a world where i don’t have to see my loved ones suffer. that’s what he wants more than anything!! and i think that even though he knows it’s unrealistic, even impossible, a part of him was always hoping that you’d wait for him to create that world for you. that you could one day go back to the way things were.

so meeting you again, and being forced to accept that it just won’t happen… that he’s just a person of your past and nothing else…. yeahhhh. it breaks him a little. then again, he always wished for your forgiveness; at least he has that. at least he knows you don’t hate him. there’s a kind of comfort in that, even though he probably would’ve preferred feelings of hatred to no feelings at all. :(

no but this is genuinely heartbreaking from geto’s pov and it’s even worse because you’re just doing what’s best for you!!! there’s no anger, no hard feelings, and it irks him because there’s nothing he can do!! you’re so right stsg anon!!! there’s no storm to wait out, there’s no rage for him to soothe….. there’s nothing he can do to change your mind. it just is what it is.

i also think this forces him into unveiling himself. this is just my own take but my interpretation of cult leader!geto is that he’s pretending to be something he’s not like . 80% of the time…. i think he copes by creating all these new personas, silly and overbearing and cruel, when deep down he’s still just sad and a little bit lost. a little lonely. it’s very telling that he felt the need to create a new family, because that’s just the kind of guy he is — he needs to have people around him to protect and cherish. very similar to gojo (stsg soulmatism strikes again)…. when he meets gojo in jjk 0 he feigns nonchalance, but later, when he’s watching the sunset and thinking about their history, he just looks sad. resigned. there’s a softness he’s trying to hide, but it never quite leaves him.

and i think that with you being so open, so sincere, he really wouldn’t have any choice but to meet that with a sincerity of his own. i can see him giving you one last sad smile, and honestly telling you that he’s happy for you. that he wishes you nothing but the best. and he truly means it. he wants you to be happy more than anything; it’s fine if he can’t be there to see it.

it’s a shame, but he’ll learn to live with it — for you.

so anyway this made me cry AND THEN YOU TOP IT OFF WITH BEABADOBEE????????? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME????????? THAT SONGGGGG STOP STOP PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 it’s so geto i’m abt to throw up blood

can’t remember how to say your name // let alone count all the freckles on your face // a distant memory i used to know // oh, i guess that's just the way things go // oh, i guess that's just the way things go

can’t remember when you said you called // miles away, and it was still my fault // the love you said you had, it sometime showed // oh, i guess that's just the way things go // oh, i guess that's just the way things go

passed your house when i was on a train // in my mind, you'll always stay the same // i’m happy now, i ought to let you know // but i guess that's just the way things go // oh, i guess that's just the way things go // and i don’t mind that that's the way things go.

:(((((( stsg anon i’m not even joking this made me tear up …… he’s just so lonely. you’ll always be you, and he’ll always be suguru. i don’t think he could ever stop being fond of you, even if you were to forget him one day. in my mind, you’ll always stay the same………….. sniffle. he’ll always, always remember you.

#if u listen closely u will hear the sound of me sobbing . pls ignore this #STSG ANON WHEN I CATCH UUUUUUUUUU #ALSO pls plspls never worry about ur asks being too long THEYRE NEVER TOO LONG!! i love reading them sm!!!!!#feel free to drop a whole fic in here ill eat it up happily #TYSM FOR UR THOUGHTS <333333 every time i get an ask from u it’s like opening my fridge and finding a fresh treat :33 ily!!!#no but pairing this w a beabadoobee song is genuinely so evil i cried real tears he’s sooo beabadobee coded … so mitski coded …..#wahhhhhh i miss him :((((((( i wanna give him a big hug.#ask tag ✩#stsg anon !! ✩

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lesbiandarvey · 5 months ago

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could donna and harvey do iconic sports night fics

sorry this post is just for me dont worry about it

a form in wax: yes yes yes!!!! literally a form in wax is basically season 5 of suits -> danny leaving for la triggering casey’s problems with his father and going to therapy about it… so like donna leaves and goes to work for louis harvey starts having panic attacks and seeing paula about it to talk about his shitty relationship with his mother and it ends with him going to donnas’ friends art gallery opening and saying what do i want from you? i figured it out. i finally fucking figured it out… i want you to marry me

small town: yes! oh fuck yeah okay thomas would be the bobby bernstein so like donna and harvey have lived together as roommates for years in a small town in nova scotia working at a boutique law firm when thomas comes back into donnas life and asks her to come work with him -> the “im leaving you harvey” moment is her going to work with thomas and harvey freaks out

like sailing and home runs: ohhhhh okay ohmygod so in this harvey is the danny character. so his mom has a heart attack and his has to run to boston despite not speaking to her for years and right before he leaves he kisses donna in his office cus shes good and he needs just a little bit of that goodness in his life and then pulls back and leaves. and hes in the hospital all day surrounded by his dysfunctional family trying to make it through the fucking day and donna follows him to boston cus she knows he needs her. and she’s waiting in his hotel room after and he kisses her and things are happening and then he has a panic attack cus its just too much all at once and he calls paula saying “guy freaks out after kissing his best friend after his mom almost dies. not exactly the best romance novel of all time” and then the rest of the fic is harvey working through his guilt over kissing donna and how angry he is with his mother and how donna says that she thought… she thought that when harvey kissed her in new york she thought it meant he was ready and he wanted her to follow him and then they have That conversation im not explaining it well but its good in the fic

first base: OOOHHHH . i dont know??? maybe! maybe… like donna and harvey have this Thing in their 20s this half affair thing oh okay i think harvey is the danny here? where donnas married to . NO WAIT donna and harvey are the SECOND HALF of first base and CAMERON and harvey are the first half dancing in the kitchen in the refrigerator light and it messes him up for a long time until he finally is ready to be with someone again and he and donna finally get together after years and then get married like a week later. ok okay so the scarf moment is like right after he leaves cameron, he goes to donnas place and they spend the night together and he accidentally left his tie there and she kept it this whole time

even sugar peas run of out snap: no sorry . sugar peas really has to be two men. maybe maaaaybe if donna and harvey were lesbians in 1999 they could do sugar peas but also the whole point of sugar peas is that it ends in tragedy and darvey is about the fact they fall in love for the last time and its permanent. plus like the whole thing about sugar peas is about their role as Performers as Guys On Television like they have to be famous and closeted so donnaharvey doesn’t really work

whats that one called thats from january 1999 and its the first ever recorded dancasey fic where they sleep together in the office and wake up the next morning on the couch together and have to spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what to do next…. no i dont think donna and harvey would do that. its less fun when its about a guy and his secretary in the office together than two men who are partners. altho i am thinking now how crazy it would be if 8x16 happened in the office rather than her apartment. like it would be bad obviously but still i am thinking about it

WAIT VOICE IN THE WILDERNESS CATWALKSALONE how could i have forgotten voice in the wilderness but i dont think donnaharvey could do voice in the wilderness cus the whole point is about dan getting over his internalized homophobia BUT! catwalksalones other fic i love dearly is the chutes and ladders fic where “that night in minneapolis with the jäegermeister” they slept together and never mentioned it again and dan ever since has wondered about that and how everytime they get close it ends with casey pulling away -> so like after that night in the other time donna has always wondered what could have happened and how every time she and harvey get close to Something happening harvey pulls away and donna is desperately trying to figure out what the fuck is going on

#don’t even worry about it #amanda.doc #darvey

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m00ngbin · 7 days ago

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ok if not im like 10 million years late to the fandom ask game but could i get some find us alive opinions :]

AHHHHHHHHH FIND US ALIVE HI HI YOU ARE NOT LATE. NOT LATE AT ALL. SNILES SO HARD I LOVE FIND US ALIVE

My favorite female character: I would be HARD-PRESSED to find a character I find more interesting than Alves. And the thing is that I also do not like her. But I love her. She's so interesting and complex and her inability to accept change for a very long time and her love for everyone around her has compelled me. She's miserable because she feels like she has to be miserable. She would sacrifice herself for everyone around her (and she does), but she would and does also sacrifice everyone around her for the world. And she thinks that's the right thing to do. My girl is so repressed and she pushes her emotion so far down and then either doesn't notice or beats herself up about the fact that it seeps through the cracks regardless. As if emotion is not a very normal and very human and often times very good thing. She RUNS from pain and suffering but she is SURROUNDED by it. And also later she tries to ruin their chances of reuniting to keep any sense of control that she can. Control is SOOOO important to her. If she doesn't have that, what DOES she have? She can't help people without it. She's so interesting and everything about her breaks my heart and also makes me mad and I love her so much. Also all of the other female characters are my 2nd favorites, it was SO hard to choose

My favorite male character: Harley. He's pitiful. OK NO IM JUST KIDDING. HE IS KIND OF PITIFUL SOMETIMES BUT THATS NOT WHY. He does so much good for the site, he's so useful and helpful and essential and he just doesn't see it. He CANT see it. And then when he understands that he IS important, it's not as great as he thought it would feel. And the whole thing with learning to deal with what happened with Lancaster and how to forgive Lancaster AND himself for not seeing what was happening has compelled me. It's killing me. Still. MONTHS after I got to that part it's killing me. AND HE WASNT SPECIFICALLY ANGRY WITH LANCASTER FOR CUTTING HIS ARM OPEN, HE WAS MAD BECAUSE THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE BEST FRIENDS. THEYRE SUPPOSED TO TALK. AND IDK. IDK MAN HARLEY IS SO INTERESTING TO ME FOR SO MANY REASONS AND HE DRIVES ME ACTUALLY NUTS. Also miserable radio operator is just a character description that is fun to me. Not fun for him, but fun for me. And also miserable. 2nd favorite is obviously Lancaster

My favorite episode: SOOOO so difficult. Uhhhh!!!! THE "BEACH" EPISODE. EVERYTHING IS SO GOOD AND IT ALSO EVERYTHING IS SO BAD AND NOBODY KNOWS IT. NOBODY AT ALL. SAME THING WITH THE EPISODE WHERE LANCASTER GETS BITTEN. EVERYTHING IS SO GOOD AND SO BAD AT THE SAME TIME AND NOBODY KNOWS IT. The beginning of disaster. ANOTHER disaster

My favorite. Moment? Yeah: Lancaster getting bitten by the ant. I heard that and I was like ohhhhh. Oh nooooo. NOOOOOOO NONONO SOMETHING SO BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN. AT THE VERY LEAST ITS GOING TO GET INFECTED BUT ITS GOING TO BE SO MUCH WORSE. A devastating day for me and everyone on planet earth I believe. ALSO IT DID GET INFECTED TOO. SO BAM.

My favorite cast member: I LOVEEEE LOVE LOVE LOVE'S VA. I LOVE LOVE HERSELF SOOOOO SO MUCH AND I LOVE LOVE'S VA TO DEATH, THEY DID SUCH A GOOD JOB WITH HER AND URGHHHGDJFKDLDOFNFKD

My favorite ship: RADDLOVE. THERES JUST SO MUCH ABOUT THEM, ANNA MAGUIRE SPENT SOOO SO LONG BUILDING UP TO EVERYTHING AND WATCHING RADDAGHER AND LOVE START TO FIGURE EVERYTHING OUT WAS SO CUTE AND IT DROVE ME CRAZY. YOU WOULD KNOW. THEYRE LIKE ACTUALLY FLESHED OUT AND COMPLEX AND EVEN AND ESPECIALLY THEIR COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONSHIP AFTER LOVE'S ANEURYSM WAS SO IMPORTANT TO ME. SOOOO SO IMPORTANT TO ME. They're just important to me in general. AND THE WAY THINGS START WITH JUST TOLERATING EACH OTHER TO WHAT WE HAVE NOW?? ARGAHHAHDKDKSJGKDSKCK

A character I'd die defending: Alves. SHE DID SO MUCH BAD AND THATS NOT EXCUSABLE BUT I WILL STAND ON MY ALVES HILL FOREVER JUST BECAUSE OF HER MOTIVATIONS AND EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT. But your honor SHE LOVES EVERYONE ON SITE SO MUCH AND SHES REACTING THE ONLY WAY SHE REALLY BELIEVES WORKS. even though shes seen otherwise

A character I just can't sympathize with: THE NEBULOUS, ANONYMOUS BODY THAT IS THE VERY FOUNDATION ITSELF. I HATE THEM TO DEATH. DEATH!!!!!!! And it's not even a single character, it's a bunch of unnamed people that I CANNOT STAND

A character I grew to love: Alves. I will admit that I did not like her back when she first showed up, but that's when we didn't know practically ANYTHING about her and we only knew things that were said by the Unreliable Narrator Five

My anti otp: I don't really think I have one. I'm trying to think and there's stuff that ANNOYS ME TO DEATH, but they don't make it to exactly an antiotp. Like shipping love or raddagher with anyone else ANNOYS THE SHIT OUT OF ME, but it's not the end of the world. Just quite. Also I LOVE Klein and Alves but just as divorcees. I don't see them working out in any world, I need them to be doomed in the most mundane of ways. I don't think that qualifies though

Specially mention to dumptruck, the most important person on planet earth

#if i got anything wrong you can just kill me on the spot #BAHAHAHSKFKRJCLFK this was a LOT of yelling sndkfjsldkfn #FUA MY BELOVED. MY DEAREST #THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS AGAHHSHDKDKFKSLSJFNSKF #asks #i love Love #very fun to type over and over. love doesnt look like a word #anymore

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fuck-you-upmusicbracket · 1 year ago

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Pale Green Things (The Mountain Goats)

You parked behind the paddock/Cracking asphalt underfoot/Coming up through the cracks/Pale green things/Pale green things

"The culmination of an album about songwriter John Darnielle's traumatic adolescence, "Pale Green Things" describes one of the few happy memories he has of his abusive stepfather and then, years later, his reaction to his stepfather's death, when he thinks back on that same memory. While previous songs on the album that touched on his stepfather's abuse were overtly angry or defiant, "Pale Green Things" is subdued and contemplative. It leaves a lot of things unsaid, instead allowing the narrator's feelings to be implied through his descriptions of the two scenes. There is no direct depiction of abuse, instead focusing on a moment of tentative hope and peace, a moment made simultaneously more painful and more precious by the revelation that it was a rare and temporary reprieve. The focus of "Pale Green Things" is not the pain caused directly by instances of abuse, but rather the absence of a positive relationship, and the complicated feelings that come from the glimpses of what that better relationship could have been like. Although finally free of his abuser, the narrator will continue to live with the pain his abuser caused him. But, he isn't trapped in that pain anymore, and he can also remember the good times they spent together, however rare and fleeting they were. The titular "pale green things" can only grow in the cracks of the asphalt parking lot, but their presence proves that the asphalt couldn't kill them all completely. As someone who has a complex and sometimes painful relationship with their own parents, "Pale Green Things" hits hard. I think for anyone who's been in a similar situation, of trying to sort through their feelings toward someone who hurt them badly but wasn't "all bad", it's a very powerful song. Even without knowing the context of the rest of the album, or of how the song related to the songwriter's real life, listening to it for the first time felt like getting hit by a truck. 10/10"

Second suite in F: mvt. 4 Fantasia on the Dargason (Gustav Holst)

Alas, my love, you do me wrong/To cast me off discourteously/For I have loved you oh, so long/Delighting in your company

"Ok so it's a setting of an English folk song right, it's got an ostinato that goes throughout the entire thing like a passacaglia, and that theme is just so joyous AND THEN YOU GET GREENSLEEVES AS WELL like ohhhhh my god the INSTRUMENTATION the ORCHESTRATION the way he uses the lower brass is just fucking phenomenal oh my godddddd. I know this won't get through but please consider classical also fucks me up worse than any other music. The blorbo I project it onto is Percy Grainger, an Australian composer, a contemporary of Holst, and like it really just gives vibes of his entire life like you have the chromatic scale building to the FF hits which are him whipping his wife, then the Greensleeves is his lament at his mother's suicide like yeah it's so relevant to everything"

Second suite submitted by @srijellyfishtempura

#fuck you up bracket #tournament #polls #the mountain goats #gustav holst

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vro0m · 1 year ago

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vro0m's rewatch - 172/332

2016 Spanish GP

(Hindsight note : ooooh boy.)

Okay round 5. So far not so good for Lewis. Can’t believe he hasn’t won once yet.

Oh ho, but this time around he's on pole! For some reason it's Will Buxton on the drivers truck and he asks if he likes to keep to himself before a race. Lewis says he's just here to do one thing. It's a great feeling being back on pole. He's grateful for the team working so hard and he hopes he can convert it. At some point he also interrupted the interview to wave to a little girl in the crowd.

Anyway the top 10 spots of the grid go as such : Lewis, Nico, Ricciardo, Verstappen oh wait. Oh. Verstappen has been promoted to RedBull. Mhmh. Anyway. Raikkonen, Seb, Valtteri, Sainz, Perez, Alonso.

Apparently Nico was quick to point out Lewis hasn't had the best starts this year so. I guess he's not too happy about Lewis being ahead of him on that grid. Max is veeery confident and relaxed about being in a RedBull obviously. Remember when I talked about his debuts VS Lewis' at the end of the 2015 season? It resonates. And everybody is excited for the merc fight.

On the other hand I'm not a Kvyat fan obvi but the way he didn't see the blow coming is kinda pitiful. Of course they set up the press conference so he'd be sitting next to Max. Of course it has factually nothing to do with it but you could write fics about Kvyat colliding with Seb in two races, Seb going to Horner to complain, and Kvyat getting suddenly sacked before the next race comes.

Anyway. Time for the race. Formation lap.

And they're racing!

Lewis keeps the lead but Nico is close and aggressive. And he overtakes him! Easily! Meanwhile Seb is ahead of Max in P4 but Max overtakes him back shortly after. OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD. OHHHHH. MYYYYY. GOOOOOD.

Listen.

I knew it was coming.

But still.

I'm just. Rewinding and watching it over and over again. Right at the exit of the corner, we’re facing the cars. Lewis is trying to take the inside of Nico, but Nico defends. Aggressively. Until Lewis is on the grass.

You can tell he was flooring it. The car bounces rapidly and goes sideways. Right into Nico.

Taking them both out into the gravel trap on the other side of the next corner.

As his car comes to a stop, Lewis is hiding his face behind his hands. And that’s it. That’s the end of the race for them both. On the replays, we see Lewis throwing away his steering wheel.

As the safety car comes in, we start lap 4 with the following order : Ricciardo, Verstappen, Sainz, Seb, Raikkonen, Valtteri, Perez, Jenson, Alonso, Grosjean.

Niki calls it completely unnecessary, a disaster, and unacceptable. He takes Nico's side, when pushed. Lewis was too aggressive, and why should Nico have given him room, he was in the lead? He says he blames Lewis more than Nico. Crofty agrees with Niki, Brundle doesn't.

Meanwhile nothing has happened but now Seb attacks Sainz for P3 and overtakes him. Of course. Raikkonen tries to follow him a bit later but he has to cut a corner and can't make it.

It's lap 10. Ricciardo, Verstappen, Seb, Raikkonen, Sainz, Valtteri, Jenson, Alonso, Grosjean, Hulkenberg. Ricciardo pits. It's honestly boring and it's not even because the Mercs aren't there. There's just nothing happening. We watch Lewis and Nico make it into the Merc paddock with their helmets still on. That's not gonna be a good time. Verstappen pits. Anthony Davidson has reviewed the start and agrees with Brundle that Nico is more at fault. He says Nico moved without looking to the inside and was "all over his steering wheel". Now we see Paddy and Toto get up the stairs as well. Seb pits. Niki is heading to the yelling room as well. Brundle is saying he thinks it's a defining moment like it's not fucking glaringly obvious.

In the meantime it's lap 20 and things are getting more complicated than I initially thought. Ricciardo is still in the lead ahead of Max and Seb, but Seb is closing quickly on the RedBulls. He's only a second away. Behind them it's Raikkonen, about 5 seconds down, then Valtteri, 7 seconds further, Sainz, Perez, Jenson, Alonso and Massa. And Hulkenberg reports a smoking engine. He's told to stop near a fire marshal. And so he does.

Toto Wolff is out of the office. And apparently, Crofty now reports, the big boss of Mercedes confirmed to a magazine that Nico would stay with them in 2017……….. Jesus. This whole race. I'm screaming. Toto speaks to the press. He says they spoke with both drivers and it's not clear cut. It's difficult because they lost 43 points after putting in so much work in the last couple of weeks. He says they let their drivers race and sometimes it happens. The stewards will make their own decision, but from their point of view it's not one specific driver's fault. Ted is always sharp : "Niki was blaming Lewis though, Toto." Toto says Niki is speaking from his driver's perspective and his instinct. How's the mood between the drivers? Everybody is bringing up Spa 2014. Toto reiterates it's a difficult situation and they're both upset. They'll need to talk to them again and look at the images and the data to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Back to the race, Max is closing on Ricciardo now. Ricciardo pits. He's out in P4. Seb pits, while Max stays out, which makes him the youngest driver to ever lead a race.

It's lap 30. Max in the lead then, followed by Raikkonen, Ricciardo, Seb, Valtteri, Sainz, Perez, Jenson, Alonso, and idk who's P10 because someone pits and I can't see the rest. We're halfway through the race. Seb is closing on Ricciardo. Verstappen pits. He's out in P4, behind Seb. Then Raikkonen pits. Oh… And Seb? No. They're going back in. We thought for a moment they might pit Seb again. Oh he does! He does! Huh. Daring strategy. He only did 8 laps on his tyres. He's out in P4, behind Raikkonen. Ted thinks it doesn't make sense.

It's lap 40. Daniel is back in the lead, followed by Max, who's 10 seconds behind, then Raikkonen, 2.3 behind. And Seb, 5.7 behind but on faster new tyres at this point. Behind them it's Valtteri, Massa, Alonso, Sainz, Perez and Gutierrez in the points. Valtteri pits. Massa pits. Ricciardo pits. Careful now… He's out in P4. Can Ferrari win this on strategy? That would be unheard of…

20 laps to go. Raikkonen is not far from Max. Oh and Alonso is out. He's stopped by the side, reporting a loss of power. Oh and Ricciardo is closing very very fast on Seb… And Raikkonen has DRS over Max! It's lap 50, Max is in the lead for now, just ahead of Raikkonen, 8 seconds safe from Seb, Ricciardo now 2 seconds away from the podium. Valtteri is still P5, ahead of Sainz, Perez, Gutierrez, Kvyat, and Massa. Raikkonen can't seem to make it past Max. He gets close but not close enough. But he gets closer and closer every lap. And Ricciardo gets DRS over Seb! Seb gained 2 seconds on Raikkonen as well. On top of it, lapped Kvyat is essentially on Ricciardo's heels as well.

10 laps to go. Ricciardo is now half a second away from Seb. It's tense! OH MY GOD HE ATTACKS HE ALMOST TOUCHED HIM BUT HE'S GOING TOO FAST AND HE HAS TO GO WIDE AND REJOIN. Seb keeps position! Seb is yelling on radio again. Grosjean retires but who cares. It's lap 60. Max, Raikkonen +0.7, Seb +5.4, Ricciardo +0.5. Then Valtteri, Sainz, Perez, Massa, Gutierrez and Jenson. Ricciardo tries again but locks up.

5 laps to go. Seb is still closing on Raikkonen. Oh no! Seb made a mistake and Ricciardo is right on him while they're stuck in traffic! But Seb gets away and gets ahead of the backmarker that slows Ricciardo down a bit. BUT HE ATTACKS AGAIN! But it still doesn't work. And Kvyat is looking at him as well. Finally Ricciardo lets him ahead. It's true he's also fighting for points, being P10. It looks like team orders, the commentators say, but then Daniel is slow… He has a puncture!

It's the end of the race!

Max is the youngest GP winner in history! He wins ahead of Raikkonen and Seb!

In the cool down room, he's just a boy. Raikkonen shakes his hand, touches his shoulder. "Congratulations," he says. "Thank you," Max answers with a humble voice. Seb's isn't that solemn, they lock hands, he hugs him. Max chuckles. They're speaking German, unfortunately. All of them.

Seriously. Max on the podium. It's a CHILD. It's almost shocking.

Listen before we get into the post race. There's so many Narratives™ moments here :

Obviously the Nico-Lewis situation : how it happened just as Lewis is on pole again after it was Nico twice and Lewis had such bad races? Also the whole thing about Toto switching the mechanics around!

The fact that Kvyat rammed into Seb 3 times in 2 races, and then golden boy Seb went to daddy horner to complain, and Kvyat was sacked? Yeah yeah it's supposedly not related but you know?

The fact that Max's first podium was a win. The fact it happened when Lewis and Nico took each other out. The fact it happened during his first grown up race aka first race in RedBull.

The fact that he overpowered Daniel in his first race. And symbolically I mean. He got there and Daniel got a puncture.

The fact that he stood on the podium with OG golden boy Seb as Akira calls him. Insane. The fact that Daniel thought he'd be the new Seb and then Max arrived and stood on that podium with Seb and he wasn't there!

Oh my god. So Daniel is unhappy obvi and then we cut from his interview straight to Jos and Horner and they talk about max max max and then Horner says like an afterthought it's a shame for RiCHIardo like. He forgot his name.

We're told Lewis and Nico won't talk to the media until they're done with the stewards. In the meantime, Anthony Davidson talks us through the start, step by step. Nico gets the better start. He gets the slipstream and goes around the outside and takes the lead. But then, Anthony claims, something goes wrong. He shows us from Lewis on-board Nico's red light flashing : harvesting mode. On Nico's on-board, we see him fidgeting with the steering wheel, in answer to the light being on. When he looks in the mirror to see where Lewis is, he's already making his move, front wheels next to his rear wheels. He's still going towards the right side of the track and that's how Lewis ends up on the grass. From Anthony's point of view, by the time he starts closing the space on Lewis, it's too late. From Daniel's on-board, we can see that Lewis' car isn't on harvest mode, as there's no red light flashing. That's why Lewis was able to come up on him so fast. Anthony thinks Lewis reacted to the red light. He hadn't planned to try a move at that point but he saw the light, knew that meant Nico would be slower, and went for it at the last second. Indeed when you look at it from the start, Lewis was holding the outside line, nice and smooth, and made the move towards the inside when he saw the light and then the gap. He didn't make a move towards the outside, he was just holding the line, and when the moment came to choose, he went for the inside. But by the time he catches up with Nico, there's already nowhere to go anymore, and his front right is on the grass.

But as Anthony points out, the question then is : why was Nico's car harvesting energy right then and there, and Lewis' wasn't? I like him because he's thorough. He went back to Russia and looked at the ANGLE at which the strategy mode wheels (like, the knobs on the steering wheels) were set on both cars. That's my type of nosy. Lewis' is pointing to the right and Nico's to the left. What it shows is that they aren't in the same modes. And Nico's might be wrong. Remember that at that point, the engineers aren't allowed to tell them what mode to use for the start anymore. The driver has to do that on his own. Then right here in Spain, it's the opposite : Lewis' is pointing to the left and Nico's to the right. That's what Nico was changing while he was fidgeting with the steering wheel. Afterwards, it's pointing at the same angle as Lewis'. Anthony thinks he was distracted and lost spatial awareness.

I just wanna suggest something while I’m at it. The modes seem to be related to the starting position rather than being a mistake on Nico's part. Both in Russia and Spain, the driver on pole had his wheel pointing towards the left. The one chasing had his wheel pointing towards the right. If I were to talk a wild guess given I'm not quite sure that's how it works, I'd say the one chasing is using the additional power from the battery at the start to try to keep up with the one on pole. That's what allowed Nico to overtake Lewis. But then the battery is drained so the car goes into harvesting mode, and because Nico then was ahead, he had to change back to something that didn't reduce his speed too much, aka the mode that the one on pole is usually using? Anyway that doesn't change anything to the incident itself and it’s just a hypothesis from me.

We see from replays how they avoided each other and didn't talk in the gravel trap, and the stern faces in the garage. We can also see Niki and Spinz talking in a corner of the pitlane. Hill emits a similar hypothesis to mine, that Nico's initial mode was intended for chasing and he didn't expect to find himself ahead of Lewis and that's why he had to switch it. He also points out that if that's the case and he knows he's having issues at that point with his mode, then he's in no position to defend the way he did. We hear what Niki and Toto had to say about it earlier again.

The commentators are reading articles from the regs trying to speculate what the outcome is gonna be. During Jenson's interview we see Nico heading to the stewards.

There's rumours as well about Lewis taking a sabbatical during the next year. That Lewis denied obviously but why would they listen to him right?

Sir Jackie Stewart thinks Lewis was too hot headed and could have waited to make his move. Brundle thinks it was motivated by the anger of being overtaken first. I think the move only looks hot headed because as he was doing it Nico unexpectedly closed the door on him. I do also think Lewis took the chance because he wouldn't let Nico be ahead of him one more corner than necessary.

Now we see images of Lewis going to the stewards as well.

In the meantime we hear Max reminding the journalists that Raikkonen raced with his father lol. Crazy tbh.

During Ted's notebook, there's a ribbon at the bottom of the screen like these breaking news type things saying Nico and Lewis are still with the stewards. Also Ted says in the press con Max was asked what he owed his success to, and he apparently said "between the ages of 4 to 16, really my dad" and Seb asked what about from 0 to 4 and he answered "well my mom, obviously" which is kinda cute tbh.

And as we watch Max take photos with his team, we hear the stewards made their decision : no penalties. Which. They really decided they didn't wanna touch that hornets’ nest with a ten foot pole. More seriously it really was difficult to decide who was at fault there. Just like everything else between them it just seems like the unavoidable result of a hundred small mundane things.

But here's Lewis. He apologises to the team. The entire team. He says his heart sank thinking about them when he stopped. He got a good start, got overtaken, coming through turn 3 he saw Nico was in the wrong engine mode as we thought, he lost 180 brake horsepower (don't ask me what that is).

He says Nico wasn't exactly on the race line but one step to the right of it so the gap to the left was smaller than the one to the right "There was a gap there and as a racing driver when you're going 17k (?) faster you go for the gap, which I did." big inhale

"I got my wing and wheel alongside but I had to avoid collision." The journalist tells him about Anthony's on-board analysis and Nico correcting his mode mistake and not looking where he was until it was too late. "So do you lay any blame anywhere?" Another, shorter inhale. He looks away. He shrugs and shakes his head slightly. "I'm not gonna get into it," he smiles.

"As I said huge apologies to the team I'm just gonna try and move forward and try and uh… Let the team know that I'll do everything again to make sure it doesn't happen again." She says he had a good weekend until then does he feel good going into Monaco? (Oh no… Next GP is Monaco :( ) He says naturally he can't feel good right now, but they'll recover. She asks about Max as well. Big congratulations, he answers decisively. "Amazing drive, didn't make any mistake while he was in the lead. Hat off to him. He had an opportunity and grabbed it with both hands and that's what we all should do."

Pretty crazy how much he's grown since Belgium 2014. Didn't see that coming tbh. However his explanation makes no sense because if Nico was one step to the right from the racing line that would put him closer to the right than usual and that would leave LESS space to the right than the left, as opposed to what he said?

Nico denies he was distracted. He says he was aware of the situation. He saw Lewis coming and went for the "usual racing driver action of closing the inside line", "as early as he could". He says he was very surprised to see him go for the gap anyway. (Uh? He was going for the gap before you started closing my guy? Like I agree the blame is shared for sure but you're not using the correct arguments to defend yourself there.) About the stewards ruling it a racing incident he says "you know, we have to accept like that" which makes me think he thought it wasn't a racing incident which I believe is bold because I'm pretty sure he'd have received the penalty if there had been one but hey. He says overall he's just extremely gutted, "it was my race to win out there–" then he corrects himself "OUR race to win, for all of us, I'm very very gutted also for all my colleagues," he adds to the camera, "all of you watching, I'm well aware of all the work, all the hard work that you've put into these two cars and for us to end in the sand trap like that is, that's as bad as it gets." The journalist smartly picks up on the fact he doesn't seem to agree with the stewards. (He's managed this in a less clever way than Lewis did this time.) She asks if he wasn't in the wrong mode and not doing something with the steering wheel, and he saw Lewis with plenty of time? "Uh, the stewards' decision uh, is the stewards decision," he says with his usual flat tone. "And we will just leave it at that, that's the verdict." He says he was definitely in the incorrect mode. They still need to figure out why that was the case. She says Lewis said there was more space to the right so he went for it because he had more power, "you lay the blame to his door basically." (He really set the trap for himself in this interview. I'm surprised. I feel like all this time he's usually been more able to control his emotions than Lewis in these interviews but he's derailing now.) Pause. "I didn't say that." He's annoyed. He's studying her face, frowning, his own face closed up. "So what are you saying, that it was a racing incident, from your point of view?" Pause. He's so annoyed. "I'm saying that I will go with the verdict of the stewards." He lightens his tone towards the end of the sentence. But it's too late. Lewis won this one. She says he still has a 43 points advantage over Lewis going to Monaco so it could have been worse. He says he's not thinking about that, he came to win, he was ecstatic about overtaking Lewis who was on pole and he's gutted. She asks how his relationship to Lewis is now. "Same as usual." No hint of any change in his face or tone.

#f1 #lewis hamilton #vro0m's race reviews #2016 #2016 spanish gp

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