#and then just like. asking other opinions tbh. i dont KNOW whats stronger i need a second opinion
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queenerdloser · 1 month ago
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arggggggh so the writing sample i want to use for my grad school apps is a portion of one of my novels in progress except that it's a portion that's still VERY rough and part of a novel that's still being drafted and i've been having SO MUCH trouble writing this stupid thing. and i'm like. okay maybe i SHOULD just do short story excerpts like i have some fairly polished short stories that will probably be stronger works. but genuinely i'm a novelist at heart and i don't plan to write short stories, i plan to write. this novel. in grad school lol like this is what i want to write as a project there. but i'm worried i won't have enough time to refine the sample and i really don't want to submit something half-done arggggggh
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anxietyrobot · 2 years ago
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begging for odio facts for. no reason. (hiding my art supplies in my comically large pockets)
LMAOO
not sure what kind of odio facts youre looking for tbh
feel free to specify if nothing here is what youre looking for
also i got. carried away so warning for self hatred/body issues the further this goes on
he likes reading, especially audiobooks. heavy preference for nonfiction stuff. reads Adult books but refuses to let anyone know about it. wears reading glasses but hates being seen with them
he likes music
hes an awful balance of 'doesnt care what anyone thinks' and 'perpetually embarrassed about anyone finding out the Real Him'
yellow is kinda the only one that bothers to get to know odio, everyone else at best tolerates him. most think hes annoying as hell lmao
sometimes he'll deliberately be mean if he wants someone to leave him alone but other times when hes mean/rude he doesnt realize until ppl are pissed at him
no matter how much ppl hate him he'll always hate himself more : )
despite hating himself, he's not gonna let other ppl talk shit about him without a fight lmao. yes hes horrible and ugly and etc etc all those insecurities but like hell is he gonna agree when some annoying asshole says it lmaoooo
wears his jacket nonstop bc he too feels exposed without it
not into fashion at all. dont ask him his opinion on an outfit hes either gonna say its alright or awful and offer no help on fixing it alfjkdasldkjf
stronger than he looks mostly bc he lifts boxes full of books
just eats whatevers easiest to make most nights, which results in some interesting combos of ingredients lmao
also doesnt like eating while ppl watch him because he eats quite vigorously and its embarrassing when ppl comment on it
either too embarrassed to admit whenever he likes things or gets overly defensive
keeps trying to tell himself and everyone else that he doesnt need anyone else but craves approval even if he refuses to acknowledge it
uuuuuuuuh fun new fact for pride: hes trans masc and while he doesnt mind doing/wearing some feminine things and doesnt inherently have an issue with his body that way hes afraid of other ppl assuming hes a woman so hes preoccupied with avoiding things (in public) that would make ppl perceive him as such. like he doesnt have any issues with his chest when alone but he likes wearing baggier stuff/his jacket to try and obscure it
he doesnt really want to change his body for gender reasons but he does sometimes wish he looked like the 'proper' addisons with their long and slender limbs and thinner faces. he wishes he could stop feeling inadequate about this stuff but his ex friends filled his head with a lot of garbage that he wants to reject but cant help having been affected by
hes too embarrassed to say it but he loves it when yellow calls him a guy or man or dude or good boy lmaoo etc etc bc its gender affirming alkjfasdlkf
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kkgbutsane · 4 years ago
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The First Day of School
It was a dewy morning. Not too hot, not too cold, far too humid. It was the usual for Hyakkou High School, where students came to learn and excel in their studies while maintaining good social relationships. The school was usually filled with many different students. Any stereotype you could think of, Hyakkou had it. 
The students usually had fun. The Principal was quite lax when it came to certain things. All he asked of the students was to respect each other and respect the building. And to keep their grades up of course. They would be failing as a school if the students weren’t receiving the proper education!
And this is where their story begins.
“Ack. Hey! Mary!” Ryota called out from behind the blonde, who was currently looking down on her phone. The boy ran up to his best friend, hooking his arm around the back of her neck to bring her into a headlock. “Hey! Don’t mess up my hair you dork!” Mary growled, trying to wrestle her way out of Ryota’s lock.
The two continued their conundrum until they reached the gates of the school, where Mary finally got a good grip and threw her friend over her shoulder, thus leading to him falling on his backpack. “Ow…,” he muttered, smiling like an idiot.
Mary Saotome and Ryota Suzui had been friends since childhood. They were even neighbors, and she often came over to his house to play on his Wii with him. Their friendship had blossomed into a relationship.
Until they realized they were better off as best friends. In fact, after they had broken up and continued to be platonic, it seemed as though their friendship grew stronger.
“Hi guys!” The two heard a familiar voice, registering it as their other best friend, Yumeko Jabami. Yumeko had met them all in middle school, when she had moved here with her sister. The ravenette was one to take risks, and found pleasure in dangerous things. Of course, only in moderation. In reality, the only things she had taken much risk for was a move in a fighting game. Or a board game.
Her bubbly exterior was often in place of her mellow interior. She tended to keep to herself truly, unless with her friends.
“Yumeko!” Ryota yelled happily, jogging over and scooping the girl in a tight hug. Much to his delight, Yumeko returned the hug tenfold.
“ShiT, I can’t breaTHE-,” he barely managed, his face turning purple. He should have known, the girl was a strong hugger. “Oi, calm down you two, before I separate you guys for 10 minutes straight, and I know that will be a pain since you usually do homework together in the mornings,” Mary stated, crossing her arms. Yumeko finally relented, giving Ryota’s respiratory system some reprieve. Yumeko looked quite meek, but she could give hugs like no other.
“Mary!” Yumeko giggled, giving the blonde another one of her bone crushing hugs. “Sup, dumbass,” Mary replied, smiling softly at her friend’s gestures of affection. “Are you all ready for your first days of school!?” 
It was the start of junior year for the three, and boy were their classes packed. Ryota was taking a few classes on science and health, as well as a gym class to exercise and get fit. He wanted to be a firefighter, and such education was necessary to ensure he was a good candidate for the job.
“I have… Anatomy first period. Woohoo,” Mary sighed. She was actually quite excited, but decided not to show it in order to keep her cool exterior. The path she had chosen was Emergency Medical Services, and taking anatomy was the first step in her opinion.
“Oh? That’s so wonderful! I have Calculus for my first period. I wonder if Sayaka is going to be in that class!” Yumeko said eagerly. Sayaka was one of the other kids attending this school. The girl mainly kept to herself, but she had recently started acquainting herself with the ravenette.
“Gah! Sorry I’m late guys! I kinda missed my bus…” A ginger voice panted, revealed to be none other than Itsuki Sumeragi. The strawberry blonde had met the three last year when she was a sophomore. After transferring from a private school to Hyakkou, the tight-knit group had taken her in, welcoming her as one of their own. “Hey! I heard there’s gonna be a pair of new students! I hear they’re seniors,” Itsuki gossiped, taking out her Nintendo Switch and turning it on.
“Ooh, Smash? Let’s do this!” Ryota declared, taking his controller and setting it to his button map.
“So what about these new students? Do they seem weird or anything?” Mary inquired, picking her character, King K. Rool, and setting her button map. “Oh come on, why do you ALWAYS play heavies!?” Ryota complained, picking Marth as his character. “Because heavies are fucking goated, why else?” the blonde snarked back, a sly smirk on her face.
“I don’t know. But I heard they’re twins!” Itsuki giggled, sitting down to watch them play.
“Heya guys,” a shrill voice came out of nowhere. “You playin’ Smash? I’ll join!” it giggled. Runa had seemingly appeared out of nowhere in her oversized jacket. “Oh no…,” The entire group groaned.
“Runa, you’re cool and all, but whenever we play with you, you find a way to resize our assholes every match in different ways. I really don’t want to get 0-to-deathed consecutively while you stay on three stocks. Seriously, how the fuck do you even do it!?” Mary spoke, seemingly for the entire group. “I dunno, just practice TBH,” was all Runa said, picking up a controller. “And fuck you, I’m playing anyway.” 
The sound of groans could be heard around the courtyard after that statement.
Sayaka Igarashi, resident Valedictorian-to-be, had come over to the table with Midari Ikishima, who was dragging along a seemingly sleepy senior. “C’mon Yuriko. I know you have senioritis but our friends are here!” Midari grumbled, literally dragging Yuriko. Yuriko Nishinotounin had gotten a severe case of Senioritis, especially since most of her classes were a breeze this year. 
“Would you both calm down please!? They’re playing a game, and I’m trying to read!” Sayaka chided, mentally swearing at the rebel. “Chill out, Sayaka, Yuriko is already falling asleep on me and it’s not even 7:30!” Midari grumbled.
“I can’t wait for senior year to be over,” Yuriko yawned, sitting on the table everyone was at basically falling asleep.
“What the fu- NO!” Mary yelled, distracted by Yuriko long enough for Runa to get a move on her, resulting in her virtual demise. “Fuuuuck!” she sighed, hitting her head against the wooden table. “FUCK!” she repeated, after feeling the pain that came along with it. Ryota had already fallen out of the competition.
Please nerf Lucas.
Yumeko hummed happily to herself, reading some random tabloid article on her phone. As the bell rang, they all dispersed into their classes.
“See you guys later!” Ryota called, jogging over to the weight room for his first period.
The three girls had made their way over to the Portables, then separating into their classrooms. 
Sayaka practically dragged her two friends to their classes and then her own, all while keeping to the schedule. Anatomy was her first period, and she sat next to Mary. 
It wouldn’t be too bad of a year. Mary was a good student and wasn’t too hard to talk to. She just mostly liked to keep to herself.
“Good morning class! Welcome to Anatomy! You guys are obviously gonna be learning about the body, it’s functions, what is where and what goes where and woop dee dah, all the good stuff! Hopefully I can make learning about how food passes through the body actually entertaining for y’all, but first we have two new students with us today! They’ve recently transferred over, so let’s give ‘em a warm welcome to Hyakkou!” The teacher, Mrs. Murray, announced. She looked a bit older, with a tall figure and ginger hair in her face. Her glasses looked odd, but it added to her look.
People like Mrs. Murray because she was actually a good teacher. She cared about her students and actually helped them if they needed it.
“Ladies, if you would please introduce yourselves!” 
The entire class looked at the two, and for a moment they thought they saw double.
“Hello. My name is Kirari Momobami. I’m a senior here, and it’s a pleasure to meet you all. I hope we can get along,” The girl, now known as Kirari, had stated.
It seemed her sister’s turn was up next.
“Er.. I’m Ririka Momobami. We’re twins. I hope we can… have a good time!” Ririka muttered, almost too quietly for the class to hear.
Mrs. Murray smiled and beckoned them to take their seats.
Their seats were in front of both Sayaka and Mary, who seemed to be in a state of both ‘gay’ and ‘panic’.
The two twins looked vastly different, with Kirari’s hair done in twin loop braids and dressed in a rather classy manner, while Ririka’s hair was free to fall.
Wait.
Did Ririka have a sweatshirt that had the Poggers Man on it?
Mary internally laughed at that. It was adorable.
When class had dispersed to work in groups, Mary and Sayaka had picked each other on instinct, then looking for two more partners to start their work on.
“Sayaka!” Mary whisper-yelled, a small blush on her face. She then gestured to her phone to text the girl.
Mary S: HOLY SHIT IM GAY
Sayaka I: I am too. Which one are you gay for?
Mary S: Ririka.
Sayaka I: Oh. I like her too.
Mary glared at Sayaka for a moment.
Mary S: The one with the adorable hair and clothing?
The blonde mentally facepalmed, of course Sayaka would think that. No matter the twin.
Sayaka I: Yes. I love how her hair is done. Plus her shirt looks nice.
Mary S: Oh. So the one with the weird braids?
Sayaka I: Don’t call them weird.
Mary S: ok but dont worry cause im crushing on the other twin. I swear her sweatshirt is adorable.
Sayaka I: .
Sayaka I: poggers
Mary S: LMAO HOLD UP IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS ONE
Sayaka I: Be my guest.
The two had reluctantly come up to the twins.
“Hello! I am Sayaka Igarashi, and this is Mary Saotome. It seems you both don’t have another pair, so if you’d like, we can work with you,” Sayaka stated, trying to sound as polite as possible. Nothing could hide the blush on her face though.
“Sure, I would love to work with you both,” Kirari replied, a small smirk forming on her face.
Ririka just nodded with a small smile.
It was going to be a long year.
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espytalks · 3 years ago
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So. its that time of the whenever i feel like it where i decide to take a break from whatever game I'm playing and talk about it.
So anyways heres my thoughts on legends arceus so far
I've been a fan of pokeman for a long time, guys. Its been THE game ive played since pokeman crystal. Im very familiar with the franchise, and while nowadays i end up playing the games years after release, i usually do end up playing them at some point. Ive played at least one mainline game from every generation, aside from sword/shield.
Im not the best source to rely on to review any media, tbh, because i like what i like and i generally put up with subpar experiences because im a very simple person who's easy to please. I do have opinions, but with a franchise as simple as pokemans', there isnt a whole lot i can usually say about it. I have fun, because i simply love seeing funky little dudes i can befriend and pet in little minigames and such.
Which is why it came as a complete shock when i played Legends Arceus and really friggin enjoyed it.
Legends shakes up the gameplay of a traditional pokeman game on a fundamental level. Its fairly open world, allowing you to explore the game at your own pace. You can catch pokemen without even needing to battle, sneaking up and catching them unawares. Its encouraged, actually, because its one of the ways you get money in the game, and necessary to complete the pokedex.
Battling itself is changed, too. Not only are there variations in moves, called styles, which allow you to use moves stronger or weaker than normal, those styles alter the turn order of the battle, adding additional strategy to the game. Pokemen themselves also can spawn stronger versions of specific kinds, called alphas, which are challenging to capture or defeat even when under-leveled.
The game also takes place in the ancient sinnoh region, called hisui, and its just.. really cool to see this game and compare it to pokeman shining pearl, which im doing a challege run of alongside this. The terrain feels vast, and its fun to run around and explore. Early maps have additional secrets to explore after gaining movement upgrades via ride pokemen, and im still surprised by new discoveries as i take the time to fill out sidequests.
This game feels refreshing. Playing this alongside the gen 4 remakes makes it incredibly obvious how stale the gameplay of the original style games have gotten. The old style is nostalgic, sure, but i feel like legends marks a long needed change to the franchise, and im optimistic about the future if they continue to innovate on future games as much as this.
My only real criticism, aside from wanting some minor quality of life improvements, is that i dont think this game aesthetically is as good as it could be. Some textures are great, others only so-so, and overall the game isnt as bright and colorful as id like a pokeman game to be, instead having a more desaturated pallete. This is subjective, though. I asked a friend what he thought and he said that the colors of the game matched the tone of the game very well. To each their own, ya know. Its not enough to ruin the game, just a nitpick because im an artist who likes bright colors lol.
Tl;dr, i really like it! Its different, but it still feels like pokeman, and i think if you haven't kept up with the series in a while, its worth checking out.
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varusai · 4 years ago
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who do you think is the most dateable dark matter thief?? i know you have an opinion and i need to hear it
sorry for the late response anon i honestly had to think abt this one for a few days lmao, but yeah i have opinions. below the cut bc fr i have opinions, all of them have major pros and cons (based on my characterization at least) and really i just have to break it down for u
Boros, everyones obvious first choice, but certainly not mine.
Pros: rich, tall, pretty, fun af, passionate, will kill for you np, give you anything you want, literally anything.
cons: has a god complex, doesnt respect you, not his number one priority at all, will forget about you once its not interesting for him anymore, probably argumentative/combative af, is very very smart and has no problem manipulating you in all the worst ways, is very entitled so he will never feel bad about anything, cant win arguments either bc he’ll want to settle it with combat, will get offended over little things just to argue bc he thinks thats fun
this is a relationship you’d get into if you literally have nothing to lose and dont care about your mental health. like hes hot but this shit would be toxic af and he will ruin your life and leave you to go fuck around and fight someone on the other side of the universe. this will be the best of times and the worst of times for you and you will never be the same afterward mentally or emotionally. the only way i would even consider it is if i lost my damn mind. The only way a relationship with him would ever work long term is if you were physically stronger than him and were capable of putting him in his place OR you were smart enough, suicidal enough, and interesting enough to him to engage in some psychological warfare and reject him if he asked you. Make him chase you for years, say yes, then decide that /he’s/ boring /you/ and leave him for another member of the squad to just destroy their established hierarchy and humble him to the point that he’s obsessed with you.
i dont have the energy for all that, so i’ll just smash and pass.
0/10 completely undateable
Geryuganshoop, also a probable second choice for many:
pros: cute, nice, tentacle alien (obviously), will respect you np, will also give you anything you want, not antagonistic at all, telepathic communication so no risk of miscommunication, emotionally intelligent and available, loyal to a fault,
cons: horrible boss/best friend that you will have to listen to him vent about for at least 3 hours a day, complete yes man as well so he will not tell boros no or cut him off and you will be stuck dealing with this no matter what, severely mentally ill and wont go to therapy bc he thinks hes handling it well, workaholic, needs a lot, and i mean A LOT of attention
this relationship would be great if not for boros lol. boros sabotages his social and romantic life but geryu has been friends with him too long to either cut him off or establish boundaries. he has no backbone (figuratively and literally) and wouldnt even consider it. he’ll ignore you in favor of his job too, to a massive degree. also i think that while the telepathic communication would be a major plus in most cases, here i feel like i’d have no less than 16 different, never before seen on earth, mental illnesses projected right into my brain just from being within a certain radius of him.
im already fucked up enough in that sense so pass unfortunately.
it would be a yes without boros in the picture tho lmao
so prob like 4/10 iffy datablillity, 1 level increase with each decade of therapy he gets tho so a lot of potential :D
Groribas, my fav girl:
pros: straightforward, realistic, very clear expectations, will not fuck around with you whatsoever like there is no mind games or anything here, will kill for you, rich and non materialistic so she’ll basically just let you do whatever with her money since she doesn t care about it, cares about her job but like...a normal amount. she absolutely has a good work/life balance, highly organized so she will not forget important dates, loyal af and will defend your honor under any circumstances, mean but in a funny way, a ton of fun to hang out with if you’re into that, no eyes so i dont have to worry abt eye contact ever
cons: extremely high expectations, like exhaustingly high, and not even a bit of flexibility there, if you dont meet the cut its a no, she’ll let you know and leave same day, she will also bully you, you need a thick skin and great sense of humor to survive, bad at feelings if you need emotional support???? go elsewhere, shes mega emotionally unavailable, will probably want to share bodies as a form of intimacy
overall its a solid 6.5/10 dateability for me i love the directness and no bs approach, we would def get along well. however, while im not sensitive, shes def gonna hit on some insecurities at some point and it will cause an argument lol. but i mean whatever. it happens. the body sharing would be an issue though, same reason i wouldnt be chill with having a symbiote despite being a major venom fucker. i need my space i cant deal with that. so thats a possible deal breaker if she couldnt get over that lol. and she wont, so we wouldnt work out. i wish it fuckin would tho😭😭😭 i would take whatever crumbs of attention she would be willing to give me
Melzalgald, my fav they/them bastard:
pros: amorphous and shapeshifting aka extremely attractive according to my taste in monsters, tall af but could chose to be a more reasonable survivable size lol, self contained and self-entertaining so they dont need a ton of attention to be happy, funny af, rich, will give you whatever you want and probably a bunch of shit you didnt know you wanted, very fun, built in friend group if you didnt already have friends, extremely emotionally intelligent and great people skills due to living in a collective, stupid af by choice, like some of em are very smart, but they dont claim that, will say fuck work and tell boros to eat shit to spend time with you, will kill for you as well, but only if you ask them to bc their first inclination is to just bother someone to death, very loyal, once they like you they like you really forever, it would take some pretty extreme circumstances to make them dislike you
cons: annoying af and its unavoidable, will talk over you, all of them at once will talk over you and do so loudly, no respect for personal space, they dont even know what that is, will probably accidentally manhandle you, they act stupid but arent so they can be manipulative, even if it isnt bad and they dont really mean to be, impulsive, forgetful of the needs of organic creatures so they will bother you at all hours of the day and night if you arent firm with boundaries, disgustingly extroverted and will bring randoms to your place without asking, or just...make new cluster members and you have to roll with it, will eat or absorb literally anything you have, will antagonize and bother you for fun, major jump scare risk since sometimes the forms are....fleshy
this ones hard for me like theyre hot af and i feel like they’d be super fun and good partners, but god....the noise. idk how long i could deal with that lol i dont like people in my house. it would drive me up the wall, but then again...i can simply kick them out when ive had enough. they arent projecting mental illness directly into my brain or requiring me to share a body sintelligento major plus. creepy thing/symbiote style hot monster without any of the invasiveness so tbh 8/10 dateability
some people date loud annoying extroverts who dont understand personal space that /arent/ rich, loyal, or emotionally intellegent so i’d be winning on a few different fronts lmao
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neverdoingmuch · 4 years ago
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I just really love Two Person Love Triangles and Identity Porn. So, maybe a You've Got Mail AU? Or a superhero AU when one of them falls for both the masked hero and the secret identity?
because i love both of these aus i’ve written both!! but they’re pretty long bc i wouldn’t be me if i didn’t plot out an entire fic so the superhero au is here. 
as for the you’ve got mail au, i went off and watched the movie for the first time and i am delighted by your taste anon,,, the au works so well!! 
(okay for some reason tumblr won’t let me indent my bullets so idk how to fix that so big rip)
so we have lan & sons books, a company that prides itself on providing cheap books for everyone to read. think less evil corporation and more we wanted to provide easily accessible books for all people and ended up getting really rich off it
mr lan dadman was meant to be in charge but he ran off and lqr stepped up until lxc was old enough to take over and now lqr just kinda assists lxc when he needs help and does some other work
lqr is definitely the old guy who had a letter thing with this one woman who was enchanting but instead he was chatting to cssr and she was shameless 
anyway lwj works as *random high up job that joe fox has* and his best work friend (and real friend) is jin zixuan
jin zixuan is the heir to some coffee franchise and the two families have a deal which is why you have the cafe inside the bookstores
we gonna give lwj some friends
as for wwx, his mother owned a bookstore, the burial mounds (why did she name it that?? idk she probably told bssr that she wanted to call it that as a joke and bssr tried to call her bluff so she ended up having to call it that a la suibian)
anyway he grew up with his mother and grandmother and they left the store to him (idk what happened to them?? maybe they just retired and are now travelling the world while wwx gets to have the bookstore)
now for the actual plot!!
lwj and wwx met on omegle an instant messaging site and now exchange emails. wwx goes by yiling patriarch and lwj goes by hanguang-jun bc we want that flavour
so they’ve been emailing for years and they never share any personal information - wwx knows that hgj has a pet rabbit but not hgj’s name or his job
as for the significant others?? idk let’s pretend they don’t exist. 
wwx’s best friend nhs, who writes a column for so-and-so, always just comes over to his place and now he’s semi moved in and wwx isnt really sure why he’s here but he is. 
lwj just vibes bc i can’t see him putting up with a patricia unless his uncle  forced him to. even then he’d probably just be ~mysteriously~ gone while she’s home
maybe he has a really annoying pa who thinks its his job to come over and like make him breakfast. it’s su she,, it has to be
so wwx goes into work one morning and wen ning is waiting outside as he always is, ready for him to open and then like ten minutes later wen qing comes in and lastly granny wen comes in
why do they work together?? idk?? granny wen and bssr were close and so the wens and wwx kinda grew up as siblings? yeah i like that let’s go with that
so when cssr decided to go travelling wwx gets left with her store and he kinda knows how to run it but also he doesn’t have enough staff so he ends up hiring the wens (except granny who’s mostly there just to hang out with her family)
bonus: a-yuan always come to the shop after school and wwx gets to recreate the childhood he had with his mother with a-yuan. when the store closes wwx and a-yuan just twirl and twirl until they get too dizzy to stand up and then they lay on the floor and discuss their favourite book they’ve read this week. it’s very sweet
okay so the next day lwj gets to babysit his cousin/uncle/nephew/idk-how-they’re-related-person lan jingyi who is like eight or something?
they go out and hang at a festival and lwj does not buy him a goldfish bc i was very stressed by the way they treated the goldfish in the movie but he does get him balloons and a stuffed toy and plays all the games with him
eventually they’re walking back and see that the small bookstore near the new lan bookstore is hosting a story time so they go inside 
lwj walks in and he’s immediately taken by the atmosphere of the store bc that place was absolutely beautiful and then he hears this voice and follows it around to the back of the store to see the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen in his life sitting on a kinda too small chair with a princess hat? cone? thing on top of his head
he’d planned to stay for like one story and then take jingyi home but he ends up staying for the entire book and it’s definitely not because the guy reading the book smiled at him once or twice
after the story time ends, lwj is reluctant to leave so he ends up letting jingyi pick a bunch of books and looks at a few fancy first edition books with wen qing
and maybe his mother used to love collecting books - the old ones with the yellowed pages and beautiful pictures - and that’s why lwj helps out with his family business,, bc he wants everyone to be able to have books like that (never mind that all their books are like mass produced and lack any sentimentality & the staff dont actually care about the books)
anyway he sees wwx help jingyi pick out books and lets him borrow his handkerchief when he sneezes and lwj’s like oh nooo he’s good with kids too so now he has to talk to him 
so he goes up to buy the books and wwx’s telling jingyi about how much he likes daisies and lwj just blurts out “can i ask what your name is?” and wwx blinks but then smiles and is like i’m wei wuxian, but you can call me wei ying, and i own this store. what about you? and lwj is like wangji, you can call me wangji
wen qing takes one look at lwj and the way he’s staring at wwx and goes you’re going to come back aren’t you and lwj is trying so hard not to just run away so he just ignores her but then she mentions something about lan books and he’s Panicking and jingyi almost says that he’s a lan and lwj just kinda guides him over to a table and then goes back to flirt talk with wwx
anyway wwx ends up going on this big tangent about books and what they mean to people and the whole when you read a book as a child it becomes a part of your identity and who you’re going to become the way nothing else does (and lwj remembers his mother and her books) and then he apologises for going on and lwj is mentally going marry me, but he ends up calling wwx and his mother shameless
but it’s okay!! wwx & cssr are proud of it!
and then yada yada lwj buys the kinda expensive books and ends up awkwardly shepherding jingyi out of the store 
cut to the next day when the lan book store opens properly and lwj ends up telling lqr about how he met wwx and lqr is like >:/ the son of that shameless woman,, how terrible,, it’s okay he won’t be a problem for long bc they’ll be driven out of business. which isn’t the response lwj wanted but lxc seems supportive enough if a bit concerned about how it would work with them as business enemies 
business is already bad for wwx and it’s barely been a week since the lan store opened and he’s pretty bummed out but hopeful that maybe it’s a fluke
then nhs invites him to some fancy dinner with him bc wei-xiong they’re all so boring and smart and have opinions, please don’t make me have opinions so wwx gets dragged along
he ends up talking to lwj at the bar bc how could he not talk to the man who’s standing in front of all that fancy alcohol and getting some fruit juice. (he’d get water but lwj has had to put up with su she all evening so he needs something stronger)
anyway they chat and it’s pleasant but then after wwx gets approached by someone who’s like wow im surprised you’re talking to lan wangji and wwx is like lan?!
cue their passive aggressive argument around the food table complete with caviar and a turkey knife. 
now bc it’s lan wangji,, instead of making scathing comebacks he just makes like factual and to-the-point statements that end up being really bitchy (or does he intend them to be that way? it’s a mix of both of them tbh but in this case he’s definitely being bitchy on purpose) and wwx is spluttering bc that boy does not stand up well against hot and mad people
nhs ends up coming over and defusing the situation but wwx makes a point of stealing the rest of the caviar off lwj’s plate before leaving 
lwj ends up ducking out early as well to avoid su she and emails wwx that night at like 9:45 bc the guilt of being so rude kept him up late and yllz is like oh no that’s so sad ): but impressive! i wish i could zing people,, my brain just turns off the second i need to make a comeback
creative liberties,, wwx is good at teasing but not being genuinely mean? lets go with that
anyway now we get the delightful montage of wwx hiding behind cheese displays and lwj walking out of coffee stores with a newspaper covering his face as they try to avoid each other
when wwx gets in the wrong line at the supermarket lwj comes over and kinda glares the checkout woman into submission and gets her to let wwx use his card which wwx is really conflicted about bc why would he help me?? and once again angry lwj = hot lwj
a few weeks later wwx ends up asking hgj for help bc business isn’t getting any better but refuses to give any details and i refuse to have lwj watch the godfather so lwj just straight up messages him and is like tear that bitch apart
and so wwx decides to tear that bitch apart and asks nhs for help. nhs, fan of the arts and small businesses and local culture, is 100% down for it and writes a scathing article about lan books and how they’re destroying all the aforementioned things nhs cares about
it ends up getting a lot of traction and people show up to protest and wwx even goes on television
lwj ends up seeing the news coverage on the matter while he’s at the gym with jzx
jzx is 100% the guy who goes to the gym just to apathetically walk on the treadmill while lwj jogs
he sees the interview with wwx and lwj is like he’s not this nice in real life and jzx is like you met him?? and lwj is like mn. then jzx is like i bet he’s not as hot and lwj is completely silent but his ears are bright red and that’s how jzx knows that wwx is just that hot
also?? lwj goes on tv and says like three words and he’s kinda annoyed how the news decided to spin that but he also said like three words so what did he expect?
but, despite all the publicity, sales don’t get any better so wwx is like fine can we meet in person and lwj is like sure
he brings jzx along bc he doesn’t know the way there, it’s not because he’s nervous and kind of in love with yllz, it’s because he doesn’t know how to get to the cafe. (it’s two blocks from his apartment)
anyway jzx is like oof man it’s seems like yllz is wwx but he is that hot so not all is lost and lwj is like yikes no not happening im not going in but he also feels bad about standing wwx up so he ends up going in and sitting down in front of wwx
and lwj is like wei wuxian, all this publicity will do nothing to save your business and wwx is like lan wangji who do you think you are (or however that scene goes) but instead of lwj being asked to leave wwx decides he’s not gonna chicken out first so they end up spending like two hours having the most aggressive cup of coffee and chat he’s ever had
lwj is exhausted but he also refuses to give up
but then wwx spits something about how lwj is some cold, heartless suit who doesn’t actually care about or appreciate books so how can he possibly dare to think that he’s better than wwx and that hurts bc lwj had thought that he’d been doing exactly that so he leaves
anyway the next morning wwx is moping around the bookstore bc he didn’t get stood up, he swears. am i not cute enough he moans to wen qing and she’s like your hgj doesn’t know what you look like. but what about my personality? is that cute enough? and wen qing eventually manages to grit out that yes it is cute enough
wen ning comes in and is like are you okay? you got stood up? that’s good! your date might have been the rooftop killer xue yang! he got caught last night! and wwx is like i wish, i just got stood up like a chump
so they ignore each other for a few weeks bc wwx is very hurt and lwj doesn’t know what he’s going to say but wwx ends up caving and emails hgj about how guilty he feels and how even though wwx probably means nothing to lwj, he’s worried that maybe he did hurt lwj and also please hgj i still want to talk to you
now hgj never says a lot, he’s always really succinct and direct but this time he takes the time to write a proper apology. it’s not an explanation bc he doesn’t want to give this up, even if the yllz he thinks he loves is the wwx that he hates, but it is an apology
the next day wwx goes to lunch with granny wen and finally dares to ask her whether it would be okay to shut the store down. he doesn’t want, of course he doesn’t want to, but he doesn’t think he can afford to keep it open. granny just tells him that it’s okay and that if the time has come, the time has come
we don’t have to worry about wwx breaking up with anyone, so he just goes home and asks nhs if he can have some space and nhs quickly packs his stuff and goes home. as he stands in the doorway with his last box of stuff he tells wwx that he’s sorry and wishes he could help more and wwx sends him this tremulous smile but manages to hold it together until nhs leaves and then he cries and cries 
the next day he goes back to work and tries to stay bubbly and cheery even as he sees all of his shelves slowly being emptied and people who haven’t stepped foot in his store in six months are telling him what a shame it is and how they wish it didnt have to come to this and wwx is internally screaming
he manages to stave off any actual screaming but when he closes up that day he ends up going to the children’s section of lan bookstore and just as he had thought, none of the staff care about the books, none of them know any books and he ends up recommending a series to some young mother
lwj, who’d spotted wwx and come over to see if whether he was here to pick a fight, comes to the awful realisation that maybe wwx is right about his store lacking heart
he goes home that night and su she tags along even though lwj just wants space and the elevator breaks. he’s sitting there on the ground listening to his neighbour talk about reconnecting with family and the elevator button pressing dude talks about getting engaged and su she is just there whining about his job and the inconvenience and lwj goes fuck this. when the elevator starts working again he grabs his rabbit and goes back down to the ground floor, ignores su she’s shouts, and goes back to his childhood home
wwx gets stuck closing his store down. he looks around at the shelves and tables he’d grown up with and sees his childhood and a-yuan’s and countless moments he’s had with people he’s loved and realises he’s going to lose it all forever. he grabs the bell, the last thing he has left of the store and closes up for the very last time
in the meantime, lwj is living the high life. he hangs out with his bunny, gets to read pride and prejudice for fun and actually manages to get all the way through it and then his brother comes to visit
apparently he’d broken up with jgy bc he was gold digger-esque and had decided to run off with someone richer and lwj is like oh thats so sad ): anyway nmj is right there and he fills your heart with joy and lxc is like have you ever had someone like that? and lwj immediately thinks of wwx and is like fuck
his first order of business is to buy wwx’s shop bc it broke my heart that she didn’t get it back in the og movie and he starts filling it with books again. he buys ten copies of his mother’s favourite books and places them on the shelf by the door and then he sees a book that reminds him of jingyi so gets some of them and he sees a book covered in daisies and thinks of wwx. and slowly, slowly he’s building up his own library, his own store, and this time every single book means something and for once lwj looks out across the floor with pride and satisfaction
his second order of business is to apologise to wwx for being a dick. he buys some daisies and goes to his place and comes in and cooks soup for wwx. lwj apologises and tells him it wasn’t personal and wwx is like that’s not true, it was personal to me and it’s personal to a lot of people and lwj understands that now. he remembers the way he’d filled wwx’s store and left his own touch and bared his heart through each of those books and he understands. he doesn’t actually say this and just tells wwx that he wants to be friends 
lwj considers coming clean about being hgj but he knows now that he definitely loves wwx and knows that wwx currently hates him but damn is it hard not to say anything when wwx is telling him how much he loves hgj
anyway he’s like organise a meeting again with hgj 
i’d say it’s ooc for lwj not to come clean but this is the man who pined for x decades and just didnt tell wwx that his son was alive so like not ooc at all
so lwj decides he’s going to woo wwx as best as he can and organises to meet up with yllz and then goes and meets with wwx and they end up going to hang out and for some strange reason, even though wwx keeps getting stood up, he doesn’t seem to care too much. he keeps agreeing to meet hgj and when he doesn’t show is more than happy to spend the rest of his day with lwj
and slowly, they start to get closer. wwx takes a sip of lwj’s coffee and lwj buys him daisies. wwx brings him an interesting book and lwj tells him about his mother. they chat freely about hgj and lwj is happy for the first time in a long time
eventually lwj organises the final meeting. wwx is really confused about the place he picked but he’s hopeful that maybe this time hgj will show. after wwx and lwj’s farmers market date ends, lwj ends up asking wwx if he could love lwj and wwx is like you put me in such an uncomfortable situation. ie stammering and blushing and eventually going oh no ill be late and running off
anyway a couple hours later wwx finds himself standing outside his old bookstore and he refuses to look at it bc he doesn’t want to see what it’s become but then, through the open door of the store, a bunny hops out and over to wwx
lwj comes running out after it calling out its name (bichen?? flopsy?? rabbit?? one of them) and wwx looks up and is like oh,, it’s you, i’d hoped it was you and he’s all teary and lwj has a handkerchief that he’d embroidered himself (with gentians of course) and he’s like dont cry yllz and then they kiss and it’s beautiful
bonus: lwj takes wwx inside the store and shows him everything and explains the meaning behind every book that they’ve picked and then wwx does cry for real bc there is definitely an entire two walls dedicated just to wwx
do they open the store as a bookstore again and work together? does wwx end up writing books?? idk up to you. i like the idea that they open the store for story time and sell children’s books but lwj still works with lan & sons to get some heart in their stores and wwx works on his own books in his spare time
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all-hail-stevinel · 5 years ago
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the Connie character breakdown ask for @imlazyinlife!!
sry it took me a while to do this lol! enjoy!
How I feel about this character
Lol i actually really like Connie, tho i know a few stevinel shippers who don’t, which is understandable. Personally, i related to Connie in early seasons, escaping into fiction from overly strict and controlling parents hit deep, and all her expectations she had to deal with bruh i loved her So Much. then she learned to swordfight and became an epic badass and i just loved her even more (and i ship connverse too bc CUTE and also why limit myself lol)
But idk, as the seasons progressed she seems a bit more diluted and distant from steven to me. But in honesty, i see it more as Connie growing in a different direction than Steven bc of her stronger connection with earth culture and can't fault her for it
in fact even tho it broke my heart i was Super proud of Connie for telling steven to wait when he asked her to marry him bc idk i think ppl forget Connie is like 14/15. She's even younger than steven to consider such a commitment when shes still discovering herself and shouldn't have to be stevens “missing piece” or his reward/prize for when he starts getting help
All the people I ship romantically with this character
STEVEN and SPINEL bitches!!!!! I'm poly and i LOVE ot3’s and as a multishipper this is where im McFrickin THRIVE!!! I think they would all BE SO CUTE TOGTHERRRR! Its not going to happen in my double trouble au, but i AM workin on a separate fic that will be all three of them together (haven't decided if Universe will be there as welll...what do you guys think??)
My non-romantic OTP for this character
Muhahahahaha i love her with SPINEL obvi! I really want them to bond over their shared fighting skills and (in my fic) love of science and learning. I really want spinel to be protective of Connie and her right to learn who she is and travel where she wishes (ya’ dont haveta’ stand still for no one, dollface. Not me, not Stevie, not y’ur parents, nobody. Go whereva’ ya want.”) and Connie, after dealing with the mixed feelings of spinel and steven dating, is Hella Overprotective of this sweet pink bean who is touch starved and desperate for friends but trying so hard not to seem that way, once they get passed all the awkwardness these gals are pals for life i accept no other outcomes 
My unpopular opinion about this character
Lol please see: Connie deserves to be more than steven’s prize/savior. I think suf is handling pretty well right now tbh, even though i was upset that Connie left to study when it was clear that Steven wasn't okay. But honestly, I have mixed feelings bc it is up to steven to be honest about how he's feeling and not make the people around him try and guess, even though i do understand his desire to not let anyone know.
 its not that the ppl around him don't care/notice, its just that they trust him to be telling the truth when he says he's okay. And he's not!! Arghghghghgh the ANGST
So, on one hand, I get why she left (that had been so unexpected/hard/scary/awkward for her too) and she DID need to study and they probably both needed time apart (my mans cried in a ditch all night) but on the other I'm like CONNIE, studying can wait another hour gotdamn lmfao
But i am scared that if the corrupt!steven theory is true, the crew might choose the “romance saves all” plotline which...just isn't my cup of tea and not what i want for Connie tbh, and i fucking Love connverse
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
I wish that Connie's trauma gets addressed too because most of the stuff that happened to Steven happened to her too and she was two years younger than he was. Like if steven was Baby, she was Babi, you feel me? Like, she watched her best friend almost die so many times!!!! She almost died so many times!!! Almost starved to death in diamond jail!! The white diamond thing?? She had to watch that happen!! Give Connie therapy 2020
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polyamorous-mysme · 4 years ago
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What's your opinion on Jimin and V? They both infuriate me because of the way they handled things in the routes. I think Jimin gets a little bit better at the end of his route, but V doesn't seem too. He doesn't tell Saeyoung about his brother, just shows up one day Saeran in tow and is just like 'I'm back'. Even if Saeran didn't want to go back yet, he could at least told Saeyoung what was going on.
tbh most of my opinions on every mm character is that you just have to completely disregard how Normal ppl would act given that the plots of mm are so wild and unbelievable. on the other had though i get why people have qualms w certain characters for how they handle the plot. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ eso si que es
But. as far as jumins route goes i think they just fucking did him dirty w it. with the second bad end/chats leading to it especially. I know it sounds weird to say given that it's his route but those few days are so fucking OOC for jumin. i mean I'll find my own ways to rationalize it bc it Can be rationalized if you care to, but not everyone will. because its fucking weird. not even the end itself but jumin leading up to it.
that being said i LIKE jumin and i like his route save for that. jumins hidden or has Had to hide his emotions and opinions his whole life. his father frequently brings new women in and out of his life, one of the only two people hes ever been able to trust has just committed suicide and he feels like he doesnt even Know either of them anymore, and then MC comes along getting him to open up making him Trust them again and hes worried something similar is going to happen. yeah yeah cat ran away whatever but to ignore what its ACTUALLY about is impossible. rika was one one of the only people and the only Woman he really trusted wholeheartedly as an equal and shes dead the cat she gave him is missing and being overprotective of MC is his one way of gaining control again. if I couldn't rationalize that though it absolutely would have skeeved me out from the get-go, though. so im not surprised Or affronted by the fact that ppl find it irredeemable ig.
now V. V is an even weirder story. he clings to rika from the moment they first met because dont ask me why. i dont know why. is she supposed to remind him of his mother? weird. is he genuinely just that nice of a person? probably. and rika is fucked. rika is traumatized and has been since young childhood. she suffers from what someone who doesnt experience delusions thinks delusions are or how they feel. whatever. and V loves her So Much that if she wont GET help he wont force her so hes going to do whatever He can to help her. until it goes really fucking wrong.
and let's all just be honest and say everything about seven and saeran and especially their backstory doesnt make sense. it ABSOLUTELY hinges on suspension of disbelief. but there are some aspects that do make sense. the stronger older brother in an abusive household is trying to keep himself And his sickly younger brother safe and sane. stumbles across v and rika and we already know mm doesnt Quite take place in our world as we know it and i know fuck all about typical korean life and families so I couldnt tell you why they didnt report their home life to the authorities from the get go. also this whole thing doesnt fucking make sense bc seven and saeran look like MAYBE 10 at this point and V is only 5 years older than them max but him and rika have obviously been together for a while and are Adults here. doesnt track. timeline dont make sense. angway.
but the way I see it is rika had Already started to plot mint eye yadda yadda here and knew that if the boys were separated she could control seven publicly as the stronger twin in a way that makes it seem like they're helping and protecting them both, they just have to be separated. seven can roll w the loneliness and grief of having to leave his brother behind as long as it means hes safe. and w saeran, she can use that same grief and loneliness to manipulate him a different way. behind the scenes. create her perfect believer who will do Anything she says because she saved him, why shouldnt she save everyone else? and j think by the time V realized just how bad rikas mental state was it was too late to Fix it. but he loved her he loved the RFA and the RFA loved rika. he didnt want to taint or tarnish her image w the reality of who she is what shes been doing etc.
after that it's a series of unfortunate events and fucking stupid decisions v thinks hes making for the good and sanity of everyone else. hes given himself a "I'm not a hero i just Have to bear all this by myself forever and fix it alone with no help and save Everyone in the end" complex that sure is with great intentions but leads down a rabbit hole of hurt and fuckery that he cant fix. ever. and I think he was worried about telling seven about saeran because if he had he KNOWS seven would have gone after him alone. and he would have been hurt or killed or worse. he would have been. and V was still trying to save whoever he could. save rika and Hope he could save saeran? save saeran and Hope he could save rika? who knows. I dont. I think V had the BEST intentions. i do. i think he was just a bit of a Rudely untrusting dumbass carrying them out.
but that's what mm is. MC is the character that is meant to push the characters into healing from their fatal flaw. yoosung is slipping from success because up to that point hes hinged his entire future on his older cousin. zen. i dont remember. has to find a happy balance between shooting for the stars but not hiding himself or who he is while doing it? something gay like that. jaehee pushes herself too hard to be successful. to not be a burden. to be financially and socially stable and safe above her own happiness. jumin is cold and untrusting and hides himself because the last time he wasnt/didnt, he got Hurt. seven is the same gay shit as jumin and zen with the added bonus of needing to learn that mc can make their own decisions wrt danger. v needs to stop carrying the world on his shoulders. saeran . . . needs to heal. learn that his life is not intrinsically tied to the lives of others and he can still love people but be his Own person, whole and healed. whether or not you the individual player believe that by the end of the route theyve gotten their first real step in the right direction is up to you.
anyway stream room 206 ep by elah hale on spotify.
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lordeasriel · 5 years ago
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Ok, I’ve read chapters 1-11 of The Secret Commonwealth and this is my set of impressions so far. I’m using the audiobook, which is wonderful and I recommend it! Under the cut for spoilery reasons:
First and foremost, the audiobook: Michael Sheen is A-MA-ZING! And because he did La Belle Sauvage too, lots of voices are recognisable and I love it. Pan sounds a lot like young Malcolm, but less sweet and more sharp and snappish and it’s beautiful. Marcel has hints of Bonneville = Papadimitriou aka disgustingly smooth but scholary and witty. Lyra sounds amazing; Alice and Hannah have the same voices as they did in LBS (i love you michael for this). Malcolm has a mix of Coram’s voice and Asriel’s voice, he sounds worldly and sexy scholarly at the same time, I love it! Olivier sounds like a lil bitch.
I love the part where Lyra is telling Miriam about her origin story and it’s added that she wasn’t sure about the horse, but she liked it. She won’t give up on the romantic vibes of Asriel saving her, first the swordfight, now a horse lmao;
“I saw someone being mudered” Pantalaimon no chills lmao I love this adult Pan, he is so special to me, but then again I always loved him and his grumpy mood.
The Hyperchorasmians: this was such a wild moment, I laughed out loud and was like “is this a self meta?” but someone did brought to my attention it may be a self parody, I love it regardless.
Pantalaimon saying "I do exist (...) we exist” and so on, was really powerful, because it feels like a horrible existential crisis and I get his anger with Lyra and I feel his entitled to it. Right now, they’re struggling with their sense of self, yet they are one, and while Lyra finds that concept interesting, Pan is afraid because the same concept suggests he ain’t even real. In our world, our existential crisis consists of asking “do i exist or not?” but in Lyra’s world, is like asking if only a part of you is real and that’s bloody horrible to even think about.
I love how smoothly Pullman retconned Alice’s age, in “Lyra now thought she wasn’t as old as she first thought” like yeah my man, nice try, but I see through the lies of the jedi your retcon, yet I love it all the same lmao I’m glad she’s alive and well.
I love that remark of Lyra having learned how to charm people and manipulate information out of them with her wits and small talk. That’s such a Marisa trait, at least as I always perceived her and it really made be bubbly and cheerful as I noticed that.
I also noticed how Lyra refers to Asriel either by his name or as Lord Asriel, and she still refers to Marisa as Mrs. Coulter, although she acknowledges them as father and mother when other people refer to them that way. I’m a little sad she doesn’t refer to them as mom and dad, but then again i feel like they never earned that treatment from her and I get it.
Pan suggesting Malcolm and Alice may be lovers and Lyra stares at him then ignores him because the mere thought of it it’s inconceivable LMAO
Lyra remembering Asriel’s moonlight walk with her was too much for me, that’s as emotional as I’m gonna get. It really made me sad that Asriel was living hand to mouth and that he left her nothing; to think that his most recent luxury was his house arrest on Svalbard is, well, sad.
On a happier note, Dr Carne supporting Lyra is my favourite thing. He cared enough about her to actually give her a home and support, and I think people should respect him more. This guy is the father Lyra had, however quirky the entire situation was and I have an immense love for this character.
Oh my God, I cannot believe they kept Lyra in the dark for so long. She is so fucking clueless about everything! What is wrong with those people? Tell the girl everything for fuck’s sake! The moment she snapped I snapped too; for fuck’s sake, she should have known about that stuff the moment she came back from the other worlds. Also, the fact she does not know about Asriel and Marisa is infuriating, but that one I can forgive because they kinda did threw themselves into a fucking void and didn’t wanr anyone about it, so...
HOW THE FUCK IS THE MAGISTERIUM STILL STRONG???? I am so fucking angry! I can understand why it takes a long time for them to dissolve entirely, but they are still strong and influential and Asriel’s war was for absolutely nothing. He and Marisa died for nothing, everyone that died there died for nothing and I am so angry because I hate theocracies with every fiber of my fucking being and I AM SO FUCKING SMAD;
Lyra does mention “the witches of the north” and that got me thinking that there may be more types of witches around the world and that not all of them have split daemons. But I don’t know, just a thought.
I only read 11 chapters, but so far I am 95% percent sure Lyra and Olivier are going to end up together by the end of the third book. I will not elaborate on this now since I have very little to go on with, but I will speak more as I read more. I do not approve of this, but I fear this may be the route Sir Phil is going for. I hope I am wrong.
Malcolm’s description of his feelings for Lyra are creepy and cringe. If he only, I don’t know, “discovered” his feelings for her recently, I could overlook it with a certain frown, but he’s been having those weird ass feelings since she was his student and a minor and that’s creepy, to say the least. I know he acknowledges that what he felt wrong was wrong and weird, and wow, thank god, but the fact he indulges himself on those feelings now that she’s older is weird. I feel like Pullman is deceiving us, I’m just not sure. I love Malcolm, I do, and I am slightly attracted to him now lmaoooo but no, you see? No. Not okay, but as I said before, I don’t think they’re ending up together. I hope I am right.
Also the way Pullman describes it lmaoooo “Malcolm Polstead, age 31, was in love with Lyra” or something like that. It was so funny, I felt like I was read a very well-written fanfiction that suddenly the author had a stroke and wrote as if they’re 12 and in love. It was very cringe, I don’t know, I was embarassed on Malcolm’s behalf.
I really love that Oakley Street is still going strong, sort of lol and that Malcolm is now a member and I hope we get to see more of them. I love spies and I love Oakley Street and I’m sad Nugent is dead.
Makepeace referring to Pan as “my boy” warms my heart because it shows the daemons’ treatment we should see and treat them: they are people and they have feelings and they exist and should be acknowledged. I just cherish the whole conflict between Lyra and Pan because this is what it feels so far: the struggle of being who they are and the pain that comes with it.
I have an unpopular opinion here, but I love the relationship between Pan and Lyra; I love their banter, their fight, their anger with each other. It feels right, although I am sad that they are fighting a lot because of the existence business, I think Lyra is really being inconsiderate with Pan. But, I think their constant disagreement is in-character; they always disagreed with each other, they always were very different from each other, so I love that they struggle with that, it’s just sad that they’re bordering on self-loathing and they need to work on that. I want them to find the spark of love they had, but not to the point where they are clingy again; they’re people and they’re different and they are the same person, so they need to come to terms with that. It really hurt me when Pan had to yell that he exists, that hit so close to home and I don’t know, I felt speechless for a moment.
Pan saying: “You are in a world full of colour, and you wanna see it in black and white” was a powerful. I really appreciate how that argument was handled. It’s beautiful and sad and painful to listen, there’s so much emotion in Lyra.
Back to Malcolm, I think that Pullman is going for a weird route here, not gonna lie. But so far I think that Malcolm’s awareness of its weirdness is alright, I think and as long as he never acts on his feelings, we’re gonna be fine. I want Lyra to end her story alone and with a healthy relationship with Pantalaimon, because that’s what really matters in life.
Now, more Oakley Street: I’m sorry but Glenys Godwin is awesome and I am so happy that a woman is the head of my favourite spy organisation, thank you sir phil for this gift. I love her and her daemon, and that OS is a bit stronger than before. RIP Lord Nugent, thank you for your service, you ruthless bastard.
I do not trust that priest tho; I think it’s cool and stuff, but I just dont trust religious figures in general lmao i hope he is not a traitor.
I don’t know what is wrong with Marcel, but I like him cause he’s clever but I hate him cause he’s a Magisterium bitch. I had the spoiler that he is Seasea’s brother, I had this theory that maybe they’re twins, but so far it hasn’t been mentioned and I am horribly curious. I wonder, did he changed his name? Did Marisa change her name? I thought van zee was canon tbh
Giorgio Brabandt is a man, my friends, and what a man he is. He is AWESOME. I loved him immediately. I love the gyptians in general.
What the heck is happening to those roses?
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fandoms-keep-me-alive · 5 years ago
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Guys, I need Help. This is a convo between me and my boyfriend. after this, there was a phone call but I don't have the energy to add those details yet, but I need yall's opinion.
Its gonna be kinda long just warning you
Joseph, you are:
Kind
Always there to help others even at your own expense, considers it your calling in life.
Considerate
Favorite color is blue
From Texas
Understand the value of hard work
Have a near photographic memory
Curious
Seek out truth wherever you can find it
Good with kids
Creative
Thoughtful
Attentive
Open minded
Sarcastic
Dark humor
Supportive
Have thought provoking conversations/ideas
Make me feel wanted
Takes your hat with you everywhere
Are a little self conscious about your hair, but it's cute and wavy and fluffy and soft with a tinge of Chestnut red
Have an amazing beard
Culinary curious
Strong
Healthy
Squishy
Courteous
Understanding
Respectful
Gentle
Loving
Nerd
Inquisitive
Humble
Needs hugs
Deserves love
Have so much potential
Are an animal lover
Carnivore
Saved my Life at least once
And I love you for all of it.
After I sent that to him this is the conversation that followed 6/7/19:
SinToday at 5:27 AM
Thats really sweet emilie
Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:28 AM
I'm glad you like it
SinToday at 5:33 AM
... Tbh every nice thing you say makes it harder for when you leave on mission
X.x
Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:33 AM
I'm sorry
SinToday at 5:33 AM
... No you aren't
Sorry not sorry
Lol
Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:34 AM
I'm sorry that I'm making it hard for you
SinToday at 5:34 AM
Oh.. Well its more im making it hard on myself
Im still finding it really hard to emotionally attach
Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:35 AM
If it's make it easier I can try to dial it back some
SinToday at 5:35 AM
Because you know
The whole.. Away for a year and change.
Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:36 AM
I know I'm sorry
SinToday at 5:37 AM
Like.. I care and really do enjoy being with you, but... Pardon the extremely dark analogy.. But its like dating someone with the knowledge they wont be there in a few months due to a illness.
But you aren't ill and its not like you won't be around
....idk
Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:39 AM
I get it, it's painful
SinToday at 5:39 AM
It keeps me up at night. Worrying that we both will be hurt by this more severely if we keep on
Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:39 AM
I'm sorry
SinToday at 5:39 AM
Its not your fault
You've done nothing but be an amazing girlfriend
Meanwhile I've been nothing short of distant, cold, and a total jerk
Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:40 AM
No sweetheart
SinToday at 5:42 AM
I mean yes.. I have been. Its not fair to you and you deserve someone who is within your faith. Who can treat you like you deserve to be, and is perfect in all regards
Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:44 AM
First off I learned a long time ago that the perfect person doesn't exist second you've treated me wonderfully and you've just been doing what you can to keep yourself afloat which is more than I can say for myself
SinToday at 5:46 AM
Idk.. I think that the whole me being your boyfriend thing... While its nice.. And wonderful.. And i absolutely enjoy it.. Idk i just dont think it was wise of us to do it knowing that you'd only be here for 3 more months. Much less the fact that your feelings have only grown
-_-
I am hating myself for not being stronger.
I just DO NOT want to ever cause you so much pain that you'd end up hurt, devastated, and unable to fulfil the role of your faith that you were sent to do
And yet, im aware of my own flaws and self enough to know that one day i might do that. And you dont deserve that.
hugs you tightly
Im sorry for being a wreck
Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:52 AM
It's ok sweetie so am I
I just....
SinToday at 5:53 AM
Blehh... Ik this wasnt exactly the greatest time.. I was just suffering without saying anything and that super sweet and kind gesture kinda broke the dam
Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:53 AM
I understand
It's just, dating you has made me happier then I've been in a long time and I don't want it to stop any sooner then it has to.
I'm so sorry I've put you through this much termoil
SinToday at 5:55 AM
I know this is true.
And truly it has helped me realize my own self worth, and you have taught me and continue to teach me every day as to how to be a better person
Do not misunderstand the value you hold with me. You are truly a wonderful person and a treasure this world should have... But after being with you, knowing the love you can show, the blessings you bring to everyone around you, the kindness and gentleness of your heart... I would rather it end sooner rather than later so as to save you any excess grief while out on mission... That mission is truly important, to you, your faith, your family, and to higher powers. While what we share is wonderful.. And what we offer eachother is wholesome.. Ive asked for guidance... And the answer in my eyes was clear enough for me to reach a decision... While i care perhaps too deeply for you, i believe we shouldnt draw out what we have until the last minute...
For both your sake.. And for my own conscience/feelings.
That said...
I want to know your thoughts...
i want you to know these are my feelings laid bare. Ive thought long and hard regarding it.. And its unfair to you for me to be selfish and attempt to keep you for as long as possible, even if we both wish to be selfish
And im not yet breaking up with you
I just wanted my feelings, thoughts, what guidance I've been given, to be shared with you. As you 100% deserve to know
Secondly. Ill never text breakup with anyone
Mushroom Studio'sToday at 6:08 AM
Heh... Can I call?
SinToday at 6:08 AM
Yes.. Itll be loud
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sicaminion · 6 years ago
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//thg+mutant!AU no one really ask for (+my own spin off) i dont even think i have the energy and commitment to ever finish this but whatevaaaahhh for now. Let's just spam this new side blog of mine :))))
{prev.}
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That afternoon Shouyou gave Natsu the bento he promised, wrapped prettily in bunny printed cloth he'd made when working in the printing machine a month ago. Today was Natsu's birthday and as per routine, each year they spent it in the woods at the back of their house. There was a small clearing there, where patches of persistent daisies gathered, facing towards the cliff that looked upon forbidden forest and the endless cloudless sky. Like every afternoons they spend on Natsu's birthday the sky was vibrant with color that day too. Pink, and purple, but mostly orange the same shade of Shouyou's hair.
Hinatas were known for their bright ginger hairs but no one had seen anyone with hair like his before. His wasn't ginger, his was orange. Like orange's orange. Long ago because of his unnatural, striking hair color, when he was little and it's normal for kids to still be without any mutations, people would assumed that he'd be one of the most powerful gifted in history. Old folks said that people with the most powerful gifts were born with some unnatural condition in their body, like the legendary small giant of their district. He had unnatural pupils not unlike a crow, the story said.
Shouyou used to hate his hair because then people saw him differently. The adults were all talking behind his back. They'd whispered and shared conspiracy theories that made him sound like some kind of monster. The other children avoided him like he's a ticking time bomb. 'Mom said that Hinata was dangerous. On the day his gift given he might kill us in accident.’ There were talks like that that made him had no friends till the age of 9. That's when Kouji and Izumi moved in from district 11 to 12.
Kouji and Izumi were both a year younger than him but they already had their gifts present. Kouji could walk himself through any physical matters. That's how he could sneaked from one factory to another without alarming the guards and sometimes helped Shouyou with his tasks. It also helped that his parents worked in the post office so he was the less poorer than the three, thus, he had lesser workloads. Meanwhile, Izumi had the ability to made everything he touched with his two index fingers multiple times heavier (or the opposite if he used both of his pinkies.) The quiet boy would help him whenever they shared the same schedule at the warehouses.
Both Kouji and Izumi had been such great friends to him. Ever since the moment they moved in they'd never been ones to listen to bad rumors about Shouyou. They befriended him then and still did so even when he was declared officially giftless and people started to avoid Shouyou for completely different reasons. ‘That Hinata is giftless, don't come near him or he'll rub his weakness on us!’—other kids used to said to him. It made the quiet, ever polite Izumi rolled his eyes, and spit angry words that would had made Shouyou and Kouji laughed and teased Izumi for losing his coolness after that.
But even giftless as he was, people still sometimes looked at Shouyou's hair weirdly and it made him self-conscious and feeling down that even his friends couldn't cheer him up. Except Natsu, his dearest most precious little sister.
“Nii-san's hair is pretty,” she had once stated proudly in front of other children his age one day when Shouyou came to pick him up from the shabby warehouse where kind Shiba-grandma taught children to read every Mondays and Tuesdays, and they had looked at him weirdly. “Pretty like sunsets and sweet sweet orange! Natsu likes nii-san's hair!”
Shouyou remembered his sister bright smile and the look of adoration in her eyes. One that reserved for her one and only brother that wouldn't be affected by other people's opinions. Because theirs didn't matter. For Natsu, Shouyou's hair was pretty, and for Shouyou, as long as Natsu likes it then he would like it too.
.
“Nii-san here, today's thankyou-bite is katsu.” Shouyou smiled as Natsu prompted him to open his mouth. It was their family tradition—for every birthday, the one who celebrate it should give others a thankyou-bite from their meals. The richer kids probably cut their birthday cake and give it to their loved ones but not the Hinatas—they would make up whatever they could from their meager birthday meals.
“Thank you Natsu.” Shouyou brushed the younger's head affectionately. He made sure he chewed the small bite as long as he could and savored the taste to remember later. Today Natsu was 8 years old. Gradually his little sister would grow up, older and more until the day come when he won't get to call her ‘little’ anymore. Natsu was savoring the food too. Shouyou had seen her praying a bit longer than usual before she started eating. Today was absolutely important for both of them for more than one obvious reasons.
For a moment after Natsu finished the bento there was silence between them. When Natsu took his hand and gripped them between her chubby hands, Shouyou knew what was coming.
“Tomorrow is the day of the reaping,” Natsu started so softly, it almost sounded like she was whispering the words instead. “Nii-san is 15 now.”
“I am.” Shouyou squeezed his sister's hand. “You know what'll happen tomorrow right?”
Natsu nodded. She had her head bowed down that Shouyou couldn't see the look on her face. “They'll make people from the age of 15 to 22 to lined up in front of the podium. You'll be there.”
Shouyou heard the last part told with wavering voices. He lifted up her little sister's face by a tender touch on her chin. There he saw Natsu's eyes had already glistened with tears. “And you will stay with Kouji and Izumi and listen to what they said until I come back,” he told her.
But come back from what? And for how long? The most important questions left unasked and unanswered.
Natsu pulled him for a hug. Her tiny arms squeezed him as she cried quietly as if to hide it from her brother. “I love you nii-san,” she muttered. “I'll wait for you, so please come back.”
Shouyou pulled her in as tight as he could without hurting her. His eyes started to sting but he bit his lips and hold it in. (“You have to be stronger now Shou,” he remembered his mother told him before she disappeared forever, “for both you and her because from now on you two only have each other. Everything is gonna be so much harder but I always know I could lean on you. She would too.”)
There would be times for him to be afraid and scared, to worry and to cry as much as he needed to. Just not now, not in front of his little sister.
Later. He would let go later. Now though, now was for Natsu
.
“I will,” he promised both of them.
At night they presented the board and Shouyou was topping everyone with more than 500 points difference. He knew it already but that night he still went to the forbidden forest and cried. When he'd felt better and decided to went back, he arrived at home to Natsu, Kouji, and Izumi encouragements. They all supporting red eyes that night but smiles were shared and hugs were readily given when they gathered around the bonfire at the same clearing Shouyou and Natsu had spent time this afternoon.
Shouyou had also seen some other teenagers and young adults whose name displayed on the board after the announcement. If anyone felt confident they won't get pick after knowing Shouyou's predicament they didn't show it. What Shouyou had seen were grim eyes and sadness, lost and forced smile, shared among children and their parents, between couples, and among friends.
That night Shouyou was reminded once again how they're all just the same one way or another. Oppressed, miserable, helpless, under the tyrants who called themselves The World Government.
{next.}
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////alkdjfld this is like prologue leading to the selection and actual hunger games (of kids with supernatural abilities heck yea :) i still need to explain why people in the districts have these powers and shouldn't that made them feeling confident to do revolution anyway? But nah not really, they're oppressed for so so so sssoooo long. They haveave no combat training, they don't even have the number, the resources, or the willpower for that matter. That's also why the WG made these kids go to thg, so they could keep track on the kind of powers the next gen in the districts have and to level the possible threats. They'll sabotage the game anyway and make the most pliable champion win and then the winner of thg will be more or less the WG puppet (and human weapon but sssssshhhh ;)) /////also, aw poor Hinata going to be thrown up to join battle to the death between some questionable characters in the future, all alone giftless (but not helpless! Noooooo) //////THERE WILL BE KAGEHINA OF COURSE!!!!! BECAUSE OTP IS THE ONLY REASON I WANNA WRITE THIS TBH LOL but laterrrrrrr much much later orz
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onisionhurtspeople · 7 years ago
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Sorry I just ran into this blog, Lainey said on Twitter they're an ISFJ awhile back. I can see both them being an unhealthy INFP that thinks their Si is stronger than it actually is due to looping and them being an unhealthy ISFJ. They could be in an Si-Ti loop where they dont let new ideas in and believes their experience/conclusions are always correct without looking further than that for information. (1/3)
They’re also very tactful (auxiliary Fe) which makes them seem innocent and wanting group harmony instead of drama. An unhealthy Fe user sweeps issues under the rug to live in their ideal “peaceful” world. If an ISFJ is gripping, their inferior function is Ne. This may cause them to think of all the ways life could be and using it as an excuse that nothing could go wrong due to the likelihood (they think) of it in their life (ex. bringing 18-20 year olds into an unhealthy relationship, believing Onision didn’t cheat due to the fact many things could happen since there are infinite truths in the world and Si-Ti may think that their POV is the most correct from what they gathered). I can see INFP but I do want to see what you think of this. 
Sorry it took so long to respond! I knew this was going to be a long one, so I’ve been avoiding it because tbh you will never meet a lazier INTJ than me. I apologize in advance for the poor quality of this message, because my brain fog is really shitty today and I’m feeling not nearly as sharp as I usually am. My arguments will probably not be as convincing or wordy as they usually are.
Anyway, I believe she actually said she was INFJ. I remember because I was the one who asked her to take the quiz. >_> (Unless we’re thinking of two different incidences? This was, if I recall correctly, around the time that Billie had just left for the final time, so I want to say September or October of 2016.) Anyway–tbh, the fact that she got INFJ just confirmed to me more than anything else that she really was an INFP, because let’s be real, I’m pretty sure no INFP has ever existed who didn’t first mistype themselves as being an INFJ. (I’m mostly joking, but like.. only mostly.) Of course, ISFJs also frequently mistype as INFJs, so this is an idea worth exploring.
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Anyway, I shall try to explain why I see her as an INFP rather than as an ISFJ or INFJ. I apologize in advance if you’re an INFP; if I end up saying anything rude about them, please understand that I’m not making disparaging comments about INFPs in general - I’m just evaluating Lainey, who is (I believe) a very unhealthy version of her type.
So, first and foremost: Fi. Sooo much Fi. But Fi in the most unhealthy way possible: incredibly self-righteous and self-absorbed, and excessively concerned with interpreting and relaying her own individualistic, unique identity to the world. She needs to be acknowledged for her differences. If you look back at all of the arguments she’s ever had with Greg on social media (in other words, the times when he says something that aggrieves her enough that she’s actually willing to confront him over it), they all have the same theme in common: they’re always about her feeling affronted because he invalidated her values or sense of self somehow. For example: the last fight they got in was because Greg referred to himself as being in a straight relationship, which offended Lainey because she interpreted that as him undermining her gender. I can think of a few other examples of their arguments on social media off the top of my head, and they all follow that same theme: Greg being insulted that she was hero-worshiping a musician who didn’t like him (also an Fi user); Greg arguing with her about eating fish; Greg calling her filthy because her room was dirty and she hadn’t cleaned it; Greg insulting her family (especially her mother and sister). When Lainey gets involved in Greg’s debates or ongoing feuds with other content creators (Jaclyn Glenn, Joy Sparkle BS, Blaire White, etc), it’s never to weigh in with her opinion, and only ever to express her irritation over them misgendering her, either accidentally or on purpose. When she’s rude and condescending towards her fans, it’s typically because they questioned her sense of self somehow (usually in regards to her gender, internal motivations, or relationship with Greg). It’s rarely in defense of anybody else, which I feel like would happen more often if she really was an Fe user.
I think the tactfulness and willingness to sweep things under the rug that you’re interpreting as being aux Fe may actually be a combination of Fi seeking harmony in relationships (high Fi users can do this too, just like Fe users can; the difference mainly lies in when, and for what reason, their feeling function becomes triggered when somebody crosses the line. For Fi users, this tends to be when something strikes a personal nerve or attacks and invalidates their character or sense of self; for Fe users, this tends to be when somebody rejects, abuses, or takes advantage of their warmth and care, or when somebody expresses a lack of concern for the collective (family, friends, neighborhood, club, church group, society, etc) - other words, selfishness. If you dismiss their overtures of affection after they’ve put effort into displaying warmth and consideration, then they may become offended when that same person then takes advantage of those polite gestures, or refuses to reciprocate them), and also Lainey just generally not caring enough to say or do anything to counter Greg that might rock the boat in their private life. 
Secondly: Ne. In Lainey’s case, her Ne is not as overt as I’ve observed it in other INFPs, and I’m not sure why this is. I apologize if this comes off as rude (and it really kind of is, but I don’t know how else to say this in a non-offensive way), but I think it’s really just because Lainey is an INFP of average intelligence, whereas most INFPs (that I’ve encountered, anyway) are in the gifted range, and so their Ne is much more readily apparent. Ne and Se share many qualities (being that they’re both Pe functions), including that they both have a preference for wanting to live life by their own standards, a strong dislike of feeling constrained or held back, feeling compelled to seek novelty (Se in a more physical, concrete way, and Ne in a more abstract, conceptual way), and wanting to learn through experience. Se and Ne both feel driven to be seen as cool–but in different ways. Se wants to be seen as cool in a more physical and conventional sense - for example, by being entertaining, or by dressing in a manner that is immediately impactful in a sensory way. Ne, on the other hand, wants to be cool by being unique, different, iconoclastic - it wants to be regarded as quirky and iconoclastic, cool for being “uncool”, if that makes sense. And so many INFPs are drawn to countercultures (hipsters, for example) who are unconventional, but still have a certain mystique and draw to them; and I definitely think Lainey fulfills that aspect of Ne.
Ugh. I’m sorry, my brain power is running low. Brain fog is super bad today. I think we both see Si in her, so I don’t think I have to explain that. Mainly where I see Si in her (especially in the form of Fi-Si loops) is her inability to let go of people from her past. She even did it with Billie: brought her back over and over again because she would find herself looking back on the good times, and minimizing the bad ones. She makes the same mistakes repeatedly because she reviews her memories of them (memories which are attached to emotional experiences), and feels compelled to relive them, no matter how painful they were. 
Please don’t make me write something for Te. My Te is all pooped out today. :C
Anyway, it’s lovely running into somebody on here who’s knowledgeable about the cognitive functions! =O I’m guessing you’re an INFP as well? Sorry for this shitty argument, I  might try to redo it in a few days when my brain fog dissipates a little.
Edit: I just went back to the the post; and yeah, she scored as INFJ-T on the 16personalities test (admittedly shitty and has nothing to do with the cognitive functions). In the comment section, I left a link on how to differentiate between INFJ and INFP, lmao.
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Edit #2: Oh, one last thing: here’s a description of what a destructive INFP looks like from one of my favorite MBTI sites, Psychology Junkie. Doesn’t it remind you of Lainey?
Destructive INFPs are self-absorbed, self-righteous, and waver between being passive and extremely judgmental. They enjoy living in their fantasies, but care little for the practical realities of daily life. They may neglect their loved ones and family members and instead prefer to live in a world of their own making, in essence abandoning everyone who holds them dear. They may consider themselves more morally superior or “righteous” than others, married to their idealism to such an extent that any and everyone in the real world seems flawed and disappointing. They may retreat from the world and silently judge everyone they see. Over time, they may become increasingly harsh and condemning of people in their lives. They may become so obsessed with their own emotions and fantasies that they shun or berate anyone who tries to find a way into their hearts.
Healthy INFPs are extremely empathetic, gentle, and compassionate individuals. They care for the persecuted and marginalized people of the world, and strive to help them. They are honest and driven by their morals to live a life that adheres to their values. They are creative and insightful, slow to judge others yet holding themselves to a high standard.
Also, just for the keks, here’s the description of destructive ESTJs, the type that I suspect Greg is. (I do believe that he actually took an MBTI test and scored as ESTJ, which he hilariously tried to use to “prove” that he wasn’t a narcissist or psychopath. Really shows how much effort he puts into researching his “facts”.
Destructive ESTJs are dictatorial, aggressive, and controlling. They believe that they know what’s best for everyone, and that their way is the only way. They suppress their moral compass and disregard the feelings and values of other people in exchange for their own rigid views. They push forward to achieve their goals, but instead of taking time to reflect on their decisions, they steamroll over everyone in their path in order to accomplish tasks without considering alternate viewpoints or the moral implications of their actions. They may be loyal to a corrupt system or authority and suppress anyone who stands against that authority or questions it. They trust their own personal experience and disregard other people’s experience. They scoff at the emotions and values of others while they allow themselves to have their own temper tantrums and emotional overreactions.
Healthy ESTJs: Healthy ESTJs are hard-working, trustworthy, and loyal. They see the world logically and push themselves to live up to a high standard. They don’t ask other people to do things they wouldn’t do themselves, and they uphold traditions they see as morally right and effective. They are intellectual, practical, and usually outgoing. They are very supportive of their communities and families and want to make the world a better place.
(Source)
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flakandforay · 7 years ago
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바다 Analysis
this is the 2nd hidden track analysis for Love Yourself 承 Her album.
i will be analysing 2 components - music and lyrics
disclaimer: this is just my opinion, feel free to disagree. i would love to hear your opinions in my ask box.
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overall: so i was kinda anticipating this hidden track mainly because its been a while since bts actually did some hidden tracks and the fact that it was a song and skit this time round for the love yourself her album. 
and to think that namjoon produced this track and the other members such as Taehyung and Jimin have praised him for producing such a track. 
again, namjoon made this song into a hidden track because it’s meant for fans who knew their struggles especially in the beginning ———> therefore only those who bought the albums physically would have these hidden tracks.
to think that even until now despite all their success and progress, they remain humble still, namjoon remembering their debut still, all those struggles and worries if they could even last long in such a competitive industry as i had mentioned before in the previous hidden track analysis of their skit ( here ). they never forgot their roots and that’s important. success doesn’t come without any struggle or failure, it doesn’t come on a silver platter and bts knows that first hand.
this 5 minutes and 11 seconds song that namjoon has mentioned before that he wrote this to be part of his mixtape, RM but because the producer mentioned to him that it sounded childish, namjoon just left it aside until this Love Yourself album came around and the producer wanted to put this in.
this song talks about their struggles, especially their biggest concert of whether they could even debut, how a desert can eventually become a sea as long as they have hope. not to mention that bts comes from a relatively small company, and not from the big 3 ( YG, JYP or SM ), the uncertainty is even greater because the company isn’t as well recognized as the big3, getting the public to look even at their direction was hard. im sure all of the members could relate to this great anxiety that they had prior to their debut, the uncertainty of success despite working so hard. thank you namjoon for sharing your thoughts through this track and thank you to bts for this. thank you for shedding light in your past concerns and of the industry, I am so proud of how far you’ve come.
music: so the song is called 바다 = Sea, and it starts out with a short interlude of the sounds of waves rolling and hitting the shore, probably namjoon recording it first hand when he goes on walks just like how he recorded the sounds on Tukseom island for reflection. but I like how namjoon places this interlude at the beginning that lasts for 16 seconds ( with the sound of some of the water dripping ), literally setting the atmosphere to be peaceful and ready for what they have to say in this song. they are ready to be heard. at 0:16, the use of electrical guitar is finally used and only at 0:28 did jungkook’s adlibs come in with the use of a piano and at 0:35 with the use of those shakers to break the adlibs into parts with namjoon starting at 0:42.
however notice that throughout the first 42 seconds of the song, there’s no percussion at all, there wasn’t a need to have one in the first place, the beat sounded fine without one and the mood was already set.
namjoon rapping really slow, taking time to actually pause for the the woodblock sound to be heard after each and every line of his until hoseok comes in at 1:08 with namjoon giving a teaser of ‘i dont know’ to which hoseok continued onwards.
hoseok’s part was really addicting in this song, the repetition of ‘i dont know, i dont know’ together with how the rap this time round sounded much faster, a clear contrast between the styles of namjoon and hoseok but now theres the sound of the percussion at the 1st and 3rd count, and the more prominent sound of the guitar being used in hoseok’s part as compared to namjoon and then the prechorus comes in at 1:34 after hoseok’s ‘oh’ sung by jimin, in which the beat died down.
in a way during this prechorus, the percussion was cut off and the guitar strumming and woodblock sounds were more dominant coupled with jimin’s soft singing thats more of a whisper this time round with the percussion returning again with seokjin at 1:48 with his sweet voice mhmmmm.
but oh look at that turn at 2:00 with taehyung but the percussion has accelerated!! you could tell that the beat was going to drop in the direction of the song, in a way, the percussion sounded like muffled claps or just muffled percussion drum beats in general, but then that sudden switch to jungkook at 2:08 in this chorus now and ending it with ‘you know, you know’. but you know what’s interesting is the fact that actually, the pre chorus and chorus this time round is pretty much the same lyrics, just a slight change in the beat tbh. 
ah then we have the iconic yoongi after jungkook at 2:12 in which he said ‘suga’ first before starting his rap, just like how he did in pied piper, like a short intro that its his past starting now. but his rapping here is much more slowed down, just like how the beat reverted back to normal, with each of his line ending in time of the sound of the woodblock. but what i like about young’s parts are his adlibs in between, not to mention particularly at 2:40 with the ‘ah’ in which yoongi is sort of starting his next part of the song in time with how the beat picked up the pace with some light percussion, so like the 4th verse this time round. interestingly yoongi’s part takes up altogether the 3rd and 4th verse. for some reason, i feel like its to make up the lack of lines that yoongi has in other songs, not that I'm complaining of course but wow, you can hear how the vibe of the song is stronger now, the desperation and tiredness from yoongi’s rap especially at 2:54 when the beats died down, and his voice sounded more distant etc. to me, this part sounded a bit like reminders to them, the little voices in his head, especially in the way the lyrics are used, the dilemma he had upon training and practising for a future that wasn't guaranteed. but during this part, i like how the beat died down, to give more emphasis towards the lyrics and message that they want to convey etc, to show how much they're worth even though it was originally a desert.
then the pre chorus comes in again at 3:06 with jungkook, with the light strumming of guitar and woodblock sounds. again with taehyung coming in at 3:19 together with the percussions before the chorus comes in full swing with jimin at 3:32 and then with seokjin at 3:39. literally the pre chorus and chorus is being switched between the vocal line members, with a line each.
but whats interesting is that at 3:45, the beat died down to namjoon speaking, his narration comes into play again! for some reason, i just thought of blood, sweat and tears, but his narration is accompanied with his echoes and piano but at 3:58, the beat changes, with these guitar chords being used. but the beat of the song comes back in at 4:13 with taehyung. but to think that the narration to bring back the vibe of the song at its core for about 28 seconds. i feel like its a short reflection for namjoon, how everything has changed from being a desert to now an ocean.
but now straight away, taehyung comes in the coda with the accelerated percussion but it breaks down into rhythm for about 1-2 seconds at 4:23-4:25, together with jungkook’s adlibs harmonising the sounds. and at 4:27, the percussion stopped and seokjin’s vocals rise again!!! then jungkook and jimin to jungkook takes turns to sing a line before taehyung comes along to sum it all up with his low voice at 4:52.
particularly, he isn't technically singing, its like a mere whisper, but notice how low his voice has gotten this time round, not much effort is used to sing, it sounds more of a reminder especially when you take a look at the lyrics, and to think his lines were repeated again to ensure that the message was well conveyed overall.
lyrics: i think the message that they wanted to convey was crustal clear, talking about their struggles prior and after their debut etc. again, the industry is tough and competitive and has always been that way. 
어찌어찌 걸어 바다에 왔네 이 바다에서 나는 해변을 봐 무수한 모래알과 매섭고 거친 바람 여전히 나는 사막을 봐
=
I just started walking and ended up at the sea I’m looking at the coast from here There’s endless sand and the rough wind But I’m looking at a desert
how clearly, they were talking about the ocean and desert especially with namjoon’s opening rap.
I don’t know I don’t know 내가 지금 파도를 느끼고 있는지 yeah I don’t know I don’t know 아직도 모래바람에 쫓기고 있는지 yeah I don’t know I don’t know 바다인지 사막인지 희망인지 절망인지 진짜인지 가짜인지 shit
=
I don’t know, I don’t know Am I feeling the waves right now? Yeah I don’t know, I don’t know Am I being chased by the sand wind? Yeah I don’t know, I don’t know Is this the sea or the desert? Is this hope or despair? Is this real or fake? shit
in hoseok’s rap here, i find that he feels numb, in a way, he can sense it all, but he's still not grasping his surroundings, unable to distinguish whats happening, what is real, what is fake.
I know I know 지금 내 시련을 I know I know 이겨낼 것을
=
I know, I know, my hardship right now I know, I know, I’ll overcome
again with hoseok’s rap, how he's saying he knows he can do this, he's capable of overcoming obstacles, just like his struggles prior to debut.
희망이 있는 곳엔 반드시 시련이 있네
=
Where there is hope, there is always hardship
to think that the pre chorus was literally this line being repeated for 4 times, but its interesting, its a paradox, theres always the opposites. 
별거 엎는 중소아이돌이 두번째 이름이었어 방송에 짤리기는 뭐 부지기수 누구의 땜빵이 우리의 꿈 어떤 이들은 회사가 작아서 제대로 못 뜰거래 I know I know 나도 알어 한방에서 일곱이 잠을 청하던 시절도 잠이 들기전에 내일은 다를거란 믿음도
=
A medium-sized, ordinary idol was my second name Countless people get cut from broadcast But someone’s empty spot is our dream They say some of these kids can’t make it Cause their agency is too small I know, I know, I know too Times when the seven of us had to sleep in one room With foolish hope that tomorrow Will be different before we fell asleep
literally, yoongi’s rap explains bts’ struggles in great detail that even namjoon has said on a vapp broadcast that this might have been one of yoongi’s better rap verses. the way he chose his words and the flow of his whole rap, easily depicting bts in the beginning. this is especially so with how bts came from a rather small company etc that not many would pay attention to them and how all 7 of them had to sleep in one room in the beginning.
사막의 신기루 형태는 보이지만 잡히지는 않았고 끝이 없던 이 사막에서 살아남길 빌어 현실이 아니기를 빌어
결국 신기루는 잡히고 현실이 됐고 두렵던 사막은 우리의 피 땀 눈물로 채워 바다가 됐어 그런데 이 행복들 사이에 이 두려음 들은 뭘까 원래 이곳은 사막이란걸 우린 너무 잘 알아
=
We saw the mirage in the desert But we couldn’t grasp it Praying that we’ll remain in this desert till the end Praying that this isn’t truly our reality
In the end, we reached the mirage And it became our reality The scary desert Became the ocean with our blood, sweat and tears But why is there this fear In between the happiness? Because we know too well that this place is really a desert
continuing yoongi’s rap, oh my, this is beautiful. i really love how he brought up the mirage in a desert by saying that everything that they have now is sort of an illusion, their mind playing tricks on them, how they still cant grasp their success, thinking that their debut was an illusion etc. 
how he even said that the desert became an ocean with their hard work but yet underneath it all, that its still a desert in the end, how bts would eventually have to end in the future etc just like any other group, the fear of falling down etc as mentioned before in their hidden track skit of hesitation and fear. 
울고 싶지 않아 쉬고 싶지 않아 아니 조금만 쉬면 어때 아니 아니 아니 지고 싶지 않아 원래 사막이잖아 그럼 다 알려줬네 더 우울해야지 뭐
=
I don’t wanna cry I don’t wanna rest No, who cares if we rest a little? No no no I don’t wanna lose It’s always a desert I told you everything Then I’ll just be more depressed
and then this short interlude by yoongi, namjoon and hoseok, these thoughts that occurred to them during their pre debut and post debut. the stress that has incurred etc.
Ocean, desert, the world Everything is the same thing Different name I see ocean, I see desert, I see the world Everything is the same thing But with a different name It’s life again
and this narration, namjoon’s thoughts though. honestly, how everything changes with a debut. 
우린 절망해야해 그 모든 시련을 위해
=
We need to be in despair, for all our hardships
and this ending line, the fact that its a paradox, to say that its going to be worth it in the end. 
Reference: Colour Coded ©
overall thoughts: i like how namjoon chose the desert and sea metaphors inside this song. two contradicting places, one thats dry and one thats wet literally. one needs water, and one that is abundant in water. and to even the use the mirage, to say that its still a desert regardless, an illusion.
their struggles are something that many overlook because of their success, yet they choose to remember these painful hardships to show their rootedness in whatever they do. thank you always. to more happiness and turning deserts into oceans. 
[Photo Source] Bighit Entertainment  Credits: maxine ☕️ DO NOT REPOST ©
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flower-of-the-desert · 7 years ago
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“Does it really matter cause at this point canonically in the books and on the show, Alec is with and in love with Magnus and vice versa, regardless of who they loved or didn't love in the past, their past are part of who they are but it's the past as of right now, their with each other and love each other, have started a family together and are practically engaged in the books and yes Alec loves his family dearly but if your trying to tell  me most people don't have a stronger love for their significant other and children your seriously kidding yourself, most parents put their kids before anyone or anything else including parents and siblings and some people even put their significant others before parents or siblings depending on their feelings and love for them, so it's not impossible to think Alec may have a stronger love for Magnus and his kids than his parents and siblings although I personally don't think he does, I think he loves  Magnus and kids equally as much as he loves his parents and siblings but I think this argument continues to come up is cause some people want Alec to be in love with jace and cause they prefer jalec and some just think his love for Jace is stronger cause he's his brother, parabatai and best friend so he can't possibly love Magnus more although Jace would ditch Alec in a heartbeat for clary as far as how he's portrayed on the show which is not very loyal to Alec as Alec is to him but anyway, I think Alec loves Jace and Magnus but now that he's fallen in love for the first time (cause I don't think he's had past lovers but who knows) anyway maybe he does have stronger love for magnus idk but regardless jalec isn't happening romantically so I say enjoy their platonic bond they have onscreen and their past relationships and feelings, are just that, the past so I see no point in people arguing about it, malec are canonically in love and together book and show, that's it.”
@rosegoldgemini,
I hope it’s ok to answer like this cause tumblr is being stupid again and wont let me answer the usual way.
“Does it really matter cause at this point canonically in the books and on the show, Alec is with and in love with Magnus and vice versa, regardless of who they loved or didn't love in the past, their past are part of who they are but it's the past as of right now, their with each other and love each other, have started a family together and are practically engaged in the books”
Yes, that is what I was saying in my post. I dont understand why is should matter enough to people to feel threatened by a ship that has never been and will never be canon. M@lec shippers have pretty much gotten everything they’ve wanted from the show and will continue to get more so I dont understand what their issue with other ships, Jalec in particular, is. Apart from some kind of insecurity maybe? That’s the only answer that makes sense to me.
yes Alec loves his family dearly but if your trying to tell  me most people don't have a stronger love for their significant other and children your seriously kidding yourself, most parents put their kids before anyone or anything else including parents and siblings and some people even put their significant others before parents or siblings depending on their feelings and love for them, so it's not impossible to think Alec may have a stronger love for Magnus and his kids than his parents and siblings
That’s the opposite of what I’m sayng though. I dont think Alec loves Magnus more than his family. I think it’s less. And that’s one of the issues I have with the relationship. Going by Alec’s actions and expressions of emotions, you can easily see how much stronger they are when it concerns Jace and Izzy as opposite to Magnus. Alec is ready to move heaven and hell to get Izzy out of getting deruined or save Jace from Valentine but he cant be bothered to check if Magnus is suddenly in Valentine’s body? And then goes off and asks him for a DNA sample like it’s no biggie? And lies about the soul sword? There’s so much I can say here but I wont get into it now.
So it’s not so much people wanting Alec to love Jace more than Magnus but it’s more like the show has failed to convince me (at least for me it’s like that, dunno about others) that Alec doesnt love Jace more than Magnus. All you need to do is see the difference between Alec’s I cant live without him regarding Jace in 2x02 and then to Magnus in the last episode. Tell me then that it’s Magnus he loves more.
“but regardless jalec isn't happening romantically so I say enjoy their platonic bond they have onscreen and their past relationships and feelings, are just that, the past so I see no point in people arguing about it, malec are canonically in love and together book and show, that's it.”
Thanks for the permission I guess? In fact I dont really care for Alec’s relationship with Jace, platonically or otherwise. I dont like Alec enough to be concerned with any of that tbh. And you should maybe address this to the anon who send me the ask? I wasnt arguing anything about j@lec or any other ship being canon. I simply expressed my opinions on how I see those relationships portrayed on screen. Everyone else seems to have taken this as some kind of personal attack on m@lec and/or a call to arms to make j@lec canon or something?
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ovolette · 5 years ago
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My opinion for wonho's departure
Official Statement From Starship
Starship Entertainment released an official statement to the company’s Twitter account in 31th of October 2019.
“After a long discussion with Monsta X’s member Wonho, we have agreed that it’s best to part ways amicably at this point,” Starship Entertainment said in the statement.
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The statement continued, “We greatly respect Wonho’s decision who wants to make sure the recent chain of events doesn’t distract from all the exciting things that are happening for Monsta X now and what lies ahead in the future.”
Wonho also left a handwritten letter to his fan in the fancafe.
In his letter he apologized to both his fans and the monsta x members for the harm his caused and asked the fans to continue support monsta x as 6 members.
Accusations
All started when a South Korean TV personality Jung Da-eun asked Wonho via social media to give her money back.However Starship rejected it
Later Jung Da -eun accused Wonho that he steals many things till young age (unfortunately I don't know if there have been evidence or not).
He also had been accused that he smoked marijuana that he stealed with a female idol at the idol's home while a friend of hers visited her without noticing .Later it have been confirmed that the female idol was jung da eun and her friend was Jo . However it has been said that Jo caught wonho and the jung da eun smoking, because he wanted to lend him her Balmain belt and she gave him her house password.He agreed at the end to not go any further.You can see more about this here
My thoughts
Well if that was the first time that a member leaves I might believed that.
However I think that something stronger is behind all this.Firstly she can't accused him while she smoked with him ,this is ridiculous.But that wasn't what she asked ,she asked for her money back.So I'm asking my myself, can't he really gives her money back ? And what money ? How do we know that he stole money from her.And you know what? even with the drunks maybe he didn't steal it ,maybe he buy it ,he has money in the end tbh .He didn't want to tell her where he buy it from, maybe for other reasons.
Furthermore if he steals then why is only her that accuse him? More people should have accused him.I dont think he likes to steal only from her.
As for the drunk thing , yeah he isn't an angel we know that , but all famous people do tbh because of anxiety and the power that stage needs,tho that there should have been another way to solve this in my opinion. However the company could help with this situation than just fire idols or let them suffer until they leave by themselves.He sure didn't take drunks because he is happy.
I believe this is fake rumours and I hope he come back in stage one day without having any problems.
Do you guys know anything new about his departure?
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sage-nebula · 7 years ago
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honestly i love hearing ur headcanons and tidbits about champion alan and how he goes about his duties with the other champs n stuff. since he's such a reserved guy how do you reckon he bonds with the other champions when they're all together doing work n stuff? like he already is on good terms with steven and ash, yes, but what about the others. i like trying to imagine these dynamics dont mind me
I, too, love imagining these dynamics, so I will absolutely mind you in the sense that I will happily engage in this discussion, thank you for asking. :D
Anyway, as you said, Alan is already on good terms with Ash and Steven from the get-go, even before he becomes Champion. Honestly, Ash is probably his best human friend; I know some people might want to protest about Manon, but Manon is his little sister, not his best friend—there’s a difference in the type of relationship dynamic there. The bond between Alan and Ash was pretty much immediate from the time they met, and Ash is the only human whose company we’ve seen Alan seek out just because he knew that spending time (and battling) with Ash would make him happy (and it did, to the point where Manon herself thinks “I’ve never seen Alan smile like that” when she sees how he smiles at Ash during their battle, and to the point where Alan thanks Ash three separate times during that battle for letting him feel such happiness). With that being the case, I feel confident in saying that Ash is his best human friend.
With that said, yeah, Alan is closest to Ash out of all the other Champions, and probably closest to Steven after that. As such, whenever it comes to fun (but important!) partnerships and things that happen between the regions, Alan usually partners with one of them first. For instance, in that Champion Messenger post, Alan brings up a tournament agreement to Steven. That tournament is a tournament that is going to be held between Kalos and Hoenn, League-style. It’s not an official League—the winners don’t get Champion challenges—but anyone can participate so long as they qualify for at least one of the regional Leagues, and the tournament ends in a double battle against Steven and Alan both. (RIP to whoever faces them, tbh.) The idea is to foster more unity between Kalos and Hoenn, and the other Champions are carrying it out between their regions as well. Ash and Iris are doing one for Kanto and Unova, Hau and Casey are doing one for Alola and Johto, and so on and so forth. (The next ones will be Steven and Cynthia for Hoenn and Sinnoh, Ash and Alan for Kanto and Kalos, Casey and Iris for Johto and Unova, and on like that until all the regions team up at some point.) 
But even though that’s the case, he’s still on good terms with all the others! Part of it might be due to the fact that Ash already knew everyone else and thus could introduce Alan if necessary, and part of it might also be due to any big international meetings between the Champions (and one of their most trusted Elite) that take place. However, I think those meetings are probably rarer; they typically only need all of them to come together in the event of an international crisis, which I would hope wouldn’t happen too frequently. (Though I have a story idea for one that does, but that’s another story for another time. ;D) So what really helps, I think, is that Champion Messenger that Steven develops so that they all have a fast and (most importantly) secure way to communicate in case they need to. It is supposed to be for work; the idea is that it’s a private messenger that only they (not even their Elite!) know about and have access to, which means that it’s a much, much more secure method than e-mail or phone calls to pass information between them. Additionally, it’s instant and accessible via whatever mobile device they have, which means that they don’t have to worry about massive time delays, either. So it honestly was developed for responsible, serious reasons, and it was supposed to be for work … but, as that post shows, a lot of shenanigans happen as well. And the thing is, when you’re in a messenger room with six other people, it’s rather easy to get to know and bond with them in a way that doesn’t infringe on your own personal comfort or boundaries or anything like that. Provided it’s just shenanigans, Alan can always just sign out of the messenger for a while and go do something else if he wants. It’s perfect for an introvert like him. So with that in mind, even setting aside official business, the messenger has really helped foster his relationships with the rest of the Champions as well. I like to imagine that they really are a #squad.
So with that said, a bit more in-depth?
Ash: 
As I said, Ash is Alan’s best human friend. He’s someone that we’ve seen in canon that Alan feels comfortable confiding in, someone he feels comfortable relying on, someone who has helped Alan in the darkest times in his life. And you can trust me when I say that this bond does not diminish as they grow older. Rather, it grows stronger. Not only are Alan and Ash always more than ready to help each other out, team up, and rely on each other in times of crisis, but they enjoy spending time with and talking to each other as well. I like to think that they began exchanging letters pretty regularly after Ash left Kalos to return to Kanto (and then went on to Unova), and once Ash finally upgrades his life and gets a mobile device, they exchange numbers to keep in touch through calls and text messages as well (and of course the Champion Messenger, but that has everyone in it). They do eventually cash in on their promise to battle again someday years later at the Charicific Valley, but Ash immediately makes Alan promise to battle him again at a later date. (Alan’s doing much better by that point, and Ash can tell, and that’s why he allowed the battle to happen—but still. Better safe than sorry.) 
There’s not too much more to say here that isn’t immediately obvious, but the last thing I’ll add is that while it’s obvious that Ash is Alan’s best human friend, rest assured that Alan is one of Ash’s best human friends as well. I mean, to be honest, Ash has about six thousand people he’d call his best friend (well, not that many, but it’s a lot considering all the traveling companions and now classmates he has had in his life), but the special bond they have is definitely felt on Ash’s side as well. (I imagine that Alan meets Gary at some point and the two hit it off, and this makes Ash feel some kind of way, because even though his relationship with Gary improves drastically over the course of the OS, as we see in DP he can still get rather fired up over Gary sometimes, because old rivalries die hard. He starts feeling jealous over Alan because of a bit of insecurity he has over the fact that Alan and Gary can talk about scientific research things / bond over growing up homes that are half house, half lab, and that’s not a thing he can really share with Alan, and … well. Just trust me when I say that this best friendship goes both ways. They’re both immensely important to each other.)
Casey:
Casey is probably the fellow Champion that … well, one of the fellow Champions that Alan has the weakest bond with (there are two), simply because they don’t have very much in common. He likes Casey all right; their personalities aren’t incompatible or anything, particularly since there are times when Casey reminds him of both Ash and Manon are equal measure. But their interests are at very opposite ends of the scale, generally. Casey’s primary interest outside of battling is baseball (and specifically the Electabuzz team), and Alan just … doesn’t care about baseball, honestly, haha. He has pretty much no interest in that whatsoever. Casey doesn’t see how this is possible—how could someone not realize how amazing baseball (and especially the Electabuzz, despite how Ash’s horrible (in Casey’s opinion) taste in teams makes him blaspheme and say otherwise) is?! But Alan’s just not very interested, and likewise Casey doesn’t tend to be very interested in the books or research that captures Alan’s interest. As such, they don’t often have too many shared interests to talk about, even though they still get along well enough in the Messenger / when they’re working on official business.
(“This is what happens when a jock meets a nerd,” says Iris.)
All of that said, for her birthday one year Alan gives her Beedrillite so that she can mega evolve her beedrill. To say that she’s thrilled is an understatement.
Steven:
Like with Ash, we already know a lot about Alan’s relationship with Steven. To be honest, the two bicker-banter back and forth at least half the time, given how snarky and sassy they can both be—but it’s all in good humor, never serious. It’s just how they communicate / have fun with each other. Their relationship, as we know, was forged in the midst of TSME, when Steven witnessed firsthand what Lysandre was doing to Alan and then almost immediately tattled on Lysandre to Alan’s father. We see throughout TSME just how much Steven cares about him (and how gleeful he is to enact vengeance for him once the Flare arc hits—Steven went to the Fleur-De-Lis labs to attack people and he had such a good time), and that is part of what motivates Steven to encourage Alan to take the Champion challenge in the first place (despite how Steven truly likes Diantha a whole lot as well—they become good friends in my headcanon, #fashion buddies). I say “part” because Steven does earnestly believe everything he says. He genuinely believes that Alan would be an excellent Champion. But he also cares about Alan and wants him to do well and be okay, and in the Champion Messenger post I made, his little press of “just fine?” was actually his way of checking on Alan, versus continuing to rib him as he had before (“Not now, we’re discussing the merits of malasada cannibalism”). There’s a lot of care under all the teasing, just as Alan truly does care about and appreciate Steven under all the snark he tosses right back.
(That said, they do sometimes have escalating prank wars, which are usually instigated by Steven, and most often by Alan being teased about the big ol’ crush Steven has on Sycamore. Like, Steven is in a happy monogamous relationship with Wallace, and he knows that Sycamore is with Meyer, and so obviously it’s not going anywhere, but I felt some chemistry between them in the anime, and in my brain that translated into Steven thinking Sycamore is damn fine. So Steven will see fit to troll Alan about this sometimes, by asking him if Sycamore is single yet or mentioning about how Sycamore is a DILF (and how he wouldn’t mind being Alan’s stepdad, it’s not like they can’t both still work together as Champions et cetera), and of course Alan isn’t going to just take that lying down, so he finds some other way to strike back at him. Like, for instance, playing a game of telephone with Manon and her friends, which ends in Manon presenting Steven with a nice stone as a going-away present, at which point she announces to the entire airport that it’s because she heard about how much pleasure his rock fetish brings him and though that he’d be even more pleased than usual if he had a new rock for his fetish. This happens when Manon is still ten, and so honestly she has no idea what a fetish is, particularly since she heard about this from Bonnie, who heard about it from Serena, who heard about it from Shauna, who heard about it from Tierno and Trevor, who heard about it from Ash, who came up with the interpretation that “fetish” is just “cool thing I like a lot” because although he heard about this from Alan, Alan didn’t explain to him what that word meant. So then Steven has to stand there, kind of mortified, with Diantha, Sycamore, Bonnie, Manon, and a smirking Alan all watching him, and all he knows is that even though Manon says that she and Bonnie came up with the idea (and that Bonnie says it was Serena and Shauna that helped them), Alan has to be behind this somehow and Steven will get him back.
So sometimes they have escalating prank wars like that. It’s all in good fun, though. ;) )
Cynthia:
Once Alan and Cynthia hit it off, they end up getting along very well. To begin with, Cynthia kind of has a Cool Big Sis thing going on; she’s a very, sincerely nice person who cares about those around her, and likes to guide and offer advice to those around her when the situation arises. This is particularly true with those she can see a bit of herself in, and I think she would with Alan. In the anime, Cynthia mentions at one point that she always aimed to be the strongest when she was younger, and in the games, Cynthia’s entire team has perfect IVs and significant EV training. Cynthia takes training quite seriously and loves battling, and these are two things that she absolutely has in common with Alan. So I think that Cynthia would pick up on that, and would be interested and talking more with him, particularly when she learns that he was raised by Professor Sycamore and is a scholar like her …
… and that’s when they’d hit it off, because they’re both massive nerds. 
While Alan’s research into mega evolution tends to seem more scientific, it’s important to remember that his search for Key Stones and Mega Stones took him to a ton of ruins, and that he and Sycamore also spend a lot of time poring over ancient tablets and examining ancient scripts, et cetera. Meanwhile, Cynthia’s secondary job is as a researcher / archaeologist / myth/legend hunter. She, too, spends so much time spelunking in ruins, going over ancient texts, writing books about the various myths and legends about the world. There’s no way their research wouldn’t overlap at times, to the point where I’m sure there have been multiple times in the Champion Messenger where one of them brings up a new discovery and the two of them end up dominating the messenger nerding out about it until someone complains. So really, they have a ton in common and have a good relationship. They’re both Cool Older Sibling types to those around them (Cool Big Bro, Cool Big Sis), they’re both nerds with similar nerdy interests, and they both love battling and take training very seriously. The only additional thing to note about their dynamic is that Cynthia is decently older than Alan (I’d say she’s in her mid-to-late 20s), so she ends up being like a Cool Big Sis to him, at least from time to time. It’s a good relationship.
Iris:
Iris and Alan also get along pretty well! While Iris can be pretty energetic sometimes, she can also be pretty savvy and knows when to tone it down a notch (I mean, remember, she was the one always teasing Cilan about being a pain because of how Extra™ he is), so I don’t think that would cause many problems. Aside from that, once again, I think that Iris and Alan would find some pretty good common ground between them. They both love and have an affinity for dragons (Iris’ face when Alan tells her that charizard, in addition to being a dragon by species, can be a dragon-type when it mega evolves into its X form, after the brief Discourse™ she had with Ash about that very typing in BW); they were both orphaned at a young age and originally come from a far out village in the woods (though Iris’ time in the Dragon Village was far better than Alan’s time in Isolé); they’re both happily adopted, even if unofficially for a time (or at least Iris is in the games—I think Drayden also looks after her to an extent in the anime?); they both have a tendency to be rather blunt and honest (even if Iris actually voices her thoughts more than Alan does); they’ve both had difficulties socializing in the past (though they’re getting better!), and so on and so forth. (They’re also both unjustly despised by the vast majority of the fandom, but hEY …)
 I actually like to imagine that these two meet prior to either of them becoming Champions of their respective regions, and I really want to write this fic at some point. My thought is, well, the PokéAni writers denied Iris her cameo in Kalos, so what if I write one for her post-series? I’m still deciding on things, but my basic idea is that she ends up traveling to Kalos after her time in Hoenn, and runs into Alan in Lumiose City. They get to talking for some reason or another—it’s possible that Iris sees Lizardon and gets super excited over how cute he is (and let’s be honest, he’s adorable), or maybe Alan is out with both Lizardon and Gabrielle and, well, Iris can’t resist saying hi to even one dragon, much less two. So they get to talking, Alan tells Iris about how charizard can be dragon-types whey they mega evolve with Charizardite X (and Iris is all, “ooh, that kid! I should have known he didn’t have all the facts!!” though she means it all in good fun—she’s still going to write Ash a letter in short order to give him a teasing what-for, though), and it’s a good time.
But then some conflict happens (as it always does in these specials), and these two have to solve it together. At some point Alan offers to give her a ride on Lizardon, but Iris is just like, “Nah, I’ve got this” and calls out her dragonite, which Alan is quite impressed by, and they go and kick ass together, and that’s a good time, too.
By the end of it, Alan has seen that Iris has a bagon, because she caught a shelgon while in Hoenn (because remember, she went there chasing Rayquaza—and when Iris goes on about how she chased Rayquaza there, but yet lost track of it and thus missed the huge event that happened off Rustboro Bay and she’s super disappointed about it, Alan gets real quiet and his eyes go distant and she wonders at what’s wrong, but he won’t tell her … only for her to remember later that waIT, HE WAS THAT GUY ON TV, WASN’T HE?? and that’s a whole thing). Back at the lab he has used the machine Sycamore has to deduce that one of the Mega Stones he has is Salamencite, and so he gives that to her, and their bond is forged #forever.
(And honestly, I really waffled over this, because Mega Salamence is Zinnia’s signature ‘mon, and I really do not like to double-up on signatures like that. However, Iris has to have a dragon to mega evolve, she has a salamence as Champion in the games, and while she does have a gible in the anime, Mega Garchomp is already shared between Sycamore and Cynthia. Garchomp needs a rest, we don’t need another Mega Garchomp. That said, I did debate on giving Iris Mega Altaria, but aside from that also doubling up in my mind (with an OC, but still), I feel that salamence fits her better, especially since she has one in the games. So Mega Salamence will be shared between Iris and Zinnia, and no one else, just as Sycamore and Cynthia are the only two with Mega Garchomp. It is Law™.)
But while that’s their first meeting, of course they get along really well as Champions, too. There’s also the possibility that Iris could end up dating Manon at some point, so hey—maybe Iris eventually becomes Alan’s sister-in-law. It could happen.
Hau:
Hau is the other Champion (along with Casey as mentioned before) that Alan has the weakest relationship with, although they do still get along all right. Just like with Casey, Alan doesn’t have very much in common with Hau. Their attitudes toward training are markedly different (Hau is skilled enough to be Champion, but even then, a lot of the muscle work is left to Elite Four member Gladion, to be entirely honest, due to how lackadasical Hau can be about training), and they don’t have a lot of shared interests in common. So while they can get along well enough in conversation, if it’s just the two of them the conversation is going to die off into silence pretty quickly. And that’s fine by Alan, he doesn’t mind silence, but it tends to make Hau feel a bit awkward, particularly since Alan is really hard to read for him. (A problem that neither Ash nor Iris experience, since Ash has been able to see straight through to Alan’s heart from day one, and, well … Iris is the girl who knows the hearts of dragons, so. ;D) That said, again, their relationship is far from bad, especially when Hau wants to make sure that Alan doesn’t dislike him and so he makes him sweet malasadas as a “peace offering” (Gladion thinks that Hau should not waste his time baking anything for Alan, because even if To Devour the Sun isn’t canon in the prime universe I still cannot fucking help but imagining Alan’s and Gladion’s relationship as it is in that fic, which means that Gladion is always tsuntsun toward Alan in the extreme), and Alan, given his massive sweet tooth, appreciates this immensely even though it really wasn’t necessary to begin with. So there is that, at least, even if the two still aren’t very close.
(I do imagine that a conversation like this happens in the messenger at one point, though:
HAU: “btw alan gladion told me to tell u to tell manon to stop hitting on lillie”
CASEY: “don’t U want manon to stop hitting on lillie? aren’t u 2 dating or engaged or smth?”
HAU: “ya but i dont mind, lillie-bean would never cheat on me lol”
IRIS: “‘Lillie-bean’???”
ALAN: “Tell Gladion he can tell Manon himself. I’m not involved.”
CASEY: “omfg”
ALAN: “She doesn’t listen when I tell her not to do things anyway, so it isn’t like it’d do any good.”
HAU: “ok will do lol”
IRIS: “u gave up easily”
HAU: “like i said, i dont care either way”
HAU: “besides, alan is going to be the one getting all the angry messages from gladion lol so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”
CASEY: “srsly????”
ALAN: “Yeah. I’m used to it by now. I have a filter on his messages anyway, so I don’t even see them until I specifically go check, whenever I remember to.”
HAU: “LOL”
Note: Gladion does not know about the messenger, but he finds out that Hau is contact with Alan in some way (he figures e-mail) and that’s when / why he tells Hau to pass the message along.)
General:
As a few more notes about dynamics and interactions and such:
Alan, Ash, and Iris all end up going to that tournament in Oblivia that Ash mentioned in the Champion Messenger post together. Originally Hau was going to go with them, but something came up and he couldn’t. Regardless, Alan, Ash, and Iris all travel there together and have a fantastic time. In general, whenever the three travel / do something together, it’s generally a really good time. The fact that they’re all such good friends and get along so well certainly helps.
Alan has invited Cynthia to the lab in order to go over research things. Despite the fact that Alan is an older teenager, Cynthia is an adult, and they were going over ancient stone tablets and other research, this still (from an outsider’s perspective) does end up looking very much like a playdate. Sycamore joins them, and really it’s just a nice day / night of nerdy fun.
They also go spelunking in ancient ruins together sometimes.
Steven, on Diantha’s request, was the one who picked out what Alan wore to his Champion inauguration / induction ceremony. There is going to be a short fic about this.
I just realized that Hau and Alan do have something sort of in common, which is baking. Alan picks up baking as a hobby after the Flare arc, and at the very least Hau likes to bake malasadas. So on top of Hau baking Alan sweet malasadas, Hau ends up giving Alan the recipe and they can bond a little over that.
Alan does end up giving Ash a Key Stone and Charizardite Y (oh, and he obviously gave Key Stones to Casey and Iris as well). He’s just hooking everyone up with mega evolution, what a good mega evolutionist he is.
Alan likes to share pictures of Lizardon in the messenger. Iris loves this (CUTE DRAGON♥), and sometimes she’ll share pictures of her haxorus. So then Alan will show a picture of Lizardon and Gabrielle together, and Iris will share a picture of some of her other dragons, and they end up embarking on a Dragon Spam™ that only meets a combo breaker when Ash inserts a picture of Pikachu in the middle of it all.
Sometimes Alan asks Casey about the various ruins and such around Johto, but she honestly doesn’t know because history doesn’t interest her, and while he is disappointed at that, she’s disappointed that he doesn’t see what’s so great about the brand new baseball stadium that the Electabuzz got after they finally won a World Series—ALAN: “Why is it called the World Series if teams from Kanto and Johto are the only ones participating?”ASH: “ya ive always wondered that 2 lol”CASEY: “bc baseball is tHE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD”ASH: “not more important than catching pkmn :/”CASEY: “WAT IS WRONG W/ U 2?!?!?!”
Sometimes they all get together to have friendly battles (something Cynthia actually references in one of the games). They usually also turn these informal little tournaments into potlucks and it’s a good time (and yeah, their Elite—or at least certain members of their Elite—are of course invited).
You see my icon? So at one point that was Alan’s pic in the Champion Messenger, and Ash had a matching one where he, too, was wearing sunglasses. (The pictures might have even been taken on the same day, tbh—like maybe they were together when that happened.) Hau and Casey saw these pics, though they looked awesome, and took sunglasses selfies themselves to join in. Iris (good-naturedly!) teased a bit about this at first, but then joined in herself after some cajoling from Ash and Hau. Cynthia thought it all looked like good fun and so she joined in as well, and that just left Steven, who was convinced to join so he wouldn’t be the only one left out. And that was how they all ended up wearing sunglasses in their pics in the Champion Messenger for a time. Shenanigans. 
After Ash finally gets his growth spurt, he and Alan end up pretty close in height. This does lead to them swapping clothes (or at least Ash borrowing Alan’s clothes) as a battle strategy in the midst of a crisis at least once. (Because if Ash is wearing Alan’s clothes, and he’s flying on his charizard, then with his dark hair, who could tell the difference between them from way down on the ground? No one, that’s who. The enemy would be completely bamboozled.) 
But yeah, really, I just imagine them as a real #squad. They’re all good friends with each other (even if some bonds aren’t as strong as others), they’ve got each other’s backs, et cetera. They’re a real solid squad and even if the messenger is often filled with shenanigans, it does come in handy for serious business stuff as well.
Anyway, this might have been ten books longer than what you were hoping for, but! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I liked writing it! ♥
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