#and then it's an entreaty and a prayer: i need your *love*. i *need* your love. godspeed your love to me.
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Daily Devotionals for June 16, 2023
Proverbs: God's Wisdom for Daily Living
Devotional Scripture:
Proverbs 18:23-24(KJV): 23 The poor useth entreaties; but the rich answereth roughly. 24 A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and a friend sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:23-24(Amp): 23 The poor use entreaties, but the rich answer roughly. 24 The man of many friends (a friend to all the world) will prove himself a bad friend, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Thought for the Day
Verse 23 - Proverbs addresses many relationship issues: how most poor people approach things, as opposed to how some rich people would respond in those circumstances. If a poor man needs something from a rich man, he does so in a nice way, pleading earnestly. If he were to demand or raise his voice, he would stand a chance of being denied. A man whose only recourse is to appeal to the compassion of others is desperate. He has nothing to offer, nothing to give him dignity. His situation has robbed him of confidence and shattered his pride. Most rich people are at ease, and they do not know what it is like to be humbled by desperation. Since they have money and power, they feel that they can get away with answering roughly or unkindly. They believe that their position entitles them to have an unpleasant attitude whenever they feel like it.
Christians are in the world, but not of the world. "I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world" (John 17:14-17). We are called to a higher way; to love all men (1 Corinthians 12:31; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Love is courteous, regardless of our position or another's position. If God has promoted us to positions of influence or given us wealth, we must not think more highly of ourselves than we ought. Impolite answers are demeaning. We must retain a basic respect for all people because they are made in God's image and Christ loves and died for each one of them.
Verse 24 - A man who is friendly with the whole world does not make a good friend. He can only be everyone's friend by either having no convictions or by having only superficial friendships. The Bible warns us to choose our friends carefully because they will influence us. We should not choose as a friend, someone who is "everyone's friend," a wicked person, or someone who worships other gods (Deuteronomy 13:6-8). Those who are close to us; whether family or friends are in a position to influence us, often without saying anything. Consciously or unconsciously, we all want to imitate those we love and admire. This is why we must choose our friends carefully.
There is a friend that "sticks closer than a brother." That friend is Jesus. If we commit ourselves to God, He can lead us to Christian brothers and sisters who will be true friends to us. Best of all, we can rest in the assurance that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Jesus is the Friend and Brother who never fails. He is always with us to help and guide us (Hebrews 13:5).
Prayer Devotional for the Day
Dear heavenly Father, we are thankful for Your love and friendship. Truly, you are that friend that sticks closer than a brother. You are always there for us. Father, help us to be good friends to those whom You have joined us in friendship. We always want to be loving, kind and faithful friend. We need Your kind of love to do this. Fill us with Your Spirit today so that we will be a blessing to all that we meet. Lord, may we not roughly answer people. Help us to always be kind and patient in our dealings with people everywhere as a witness of Your love. Also, Lord, thank you for all the wonderful friends You have given us. Bless each of them today. I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen. From: Steven P. Miller, @ParkermillerQ, Founder of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups Friday, June 16, 2023, Jacksonville, Florida., Duval County, USA. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Sparkermiller.JAX.FL.USA, https://www.facebook.com/StevenParkerMillerQ Instagram: steven_parker_miller_1956, Twitter: @GatekeeperWatchman1, @ParkermillerQ, https://twitter.com/StevenPMiller6 Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/gatekeeperwatchman, https://www.tumblr.com/gatekeeper-watchman, https://www.pinterest.com/GatekeeperWatchman1/ #GWIG, #GWIN, #GWINGO, #Ephraim1, #IAM, #Sparkermiller, #Eldermiller1981
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On this felicitous day, I extend to you the warmest and most exuberant of felicitations. As the chronicles of your existence unfold with each passing year, the magnificence of your journey becomes increasingly apparent. Your presence, a symphony of resplendence, has enriched everyone surround you upon life beyond measure. As you celebrate another year of life, I am filled with overwhelming admiration and thankfulness for the remarkable individual you have. Words cannot delineate the profundity of my gratitude for your presence here: I’ve always been fascinated by your character and how you present yourself to the world. Lot of things might have occurred in your life that you didn’t expect to change bizarrely. But you’ve managed to conquer every single obstacles one by one upon your path, and I believe that you will strive more to courageously nail it again even by the new beginning of your new age. “[...] May, 19 | Thank you for remaining a resilient individual up to this point, Ethaniel. I am surely beyond grateful to know you. I will always take pride in the person you have become and I hope you continue to grow stronger, ready to face any challenges that lie ahead.” Today heralds a momentous occasion to revel in the splendor of your life and the extraordinary milestones you’ve attained. I beseech everlasting felicity, a life enriched with triumph, and bountiful blessings bestowed upon you henceforth. May this occasion be a jubilant celebration imbued with effervescent mirth, where laughter cascades like stardust and joy resonates through the celestial spheres. My prayers extend to everlasting happiness, a thriving life, and the multitude of good things the world can bestow upon you from today onward.
I wish to celebrate your accomplishments, your journey, and the wonderful person you’ve become. May you keep shining brightly, just like the wonderful person you are. May your days be bedecked with serendipitous moments and the ineffable beauty that only you can conjure. As my pen dances across these pages, I am enamored by the singular essence of your being. With utmost earnestness, I assure you that greatness awaits you, you are deeply cherished and loved profoundly. You are truly one of the greatest blessings in everyone’s life, and celebrating this day with you brings me immense joy. May your study and all the things you need to finish academically will be successful, may you will be bequeathed with health and wealth. Take heed, for God holds the most auspicious designs for your trajectory, and the most resplendent moments have yet to unfurl. May the benevolent pronouncements bestowed upon you on this day be extended not merely to this individual solar year, but for manifold cycles to follow. My endearment and entreaties shall perpetually be voiced in your favor.
Sincerely written, Carl Serafin.
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17th March >> Mass Readings (Except USA)
Saint Patrick, Bishop, Missionary - Solemnity (Ireland)
and
Fifth Sunday of Lent - Proper Readings
and
Fifth Sunday of Lent - Lazarus
Saint Patrick, Bishop, Missionary - Solemnity (Ireland)
(Liturgical Colour: White. Year: B(II).
First Reading
Jeremiah 31:31-34
I will write my Law in their hearts.
See, the days are coming – it is the Lord who speaks – when I will make a new covenant with the House of Israel (and the House of Judah), but not a covenant like the one I made with their ancestors on the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt. They broke that covenant of mine, so I had to show them who was master. It is the Lord who speaks. No, this is the covenant I will make with the House of Israel when those days arrive – it is the Lord who speaks. Deep within them I will plant my Law, writing it on their hearts. Then I will be their God and they shall be my people. There will be no further need for neighbour to try to teach neighbour, or brother to say to brother, ‘Learn to know the Lord!’ No, they will all know me, the least no less than the greatest – it is the Lord who speaks – since I will forgive their iniquity and never call their sin to mind.
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
Responsorial Psalm
Psalm 50(51):3-4,12-15
R/ A pure heart create for me, O God.
Have mercy on me, God, in your kindness.
In your compassion blot out my offence.
O wash me more and more from my guilt
and cleanse me from my sin.
R/ A pure heart create for me, O God.
A pure heart create for me, O God,
put a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from your presence,
nor deprive me of your holy spirit.
R/ A pure heart create for me, O God.
Give me again the joy of your help;
with a spirit of fervour sustain me,
that I may teach transgressors your ways
and sinners may return to you.
R/ A pure heart create for me, O God.
Second Reading
Hebrews 5:7-9
He learned to obey and he became the source of eternal salvation.
During his life on earth, Christ offered up prayer and entreaty, aloud and in silent tears, to the one who had the power to save him out of death, and he submitted so humbly that his prayer was heard. Although he was Son, he learnt to obey through suffering; but having been made perfect, he became for all who obey him the source of eternal salvation.
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
Gospel Acclamation
John 12:26
Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God!
Whoever serves me must follow me, says the Lord;
and where I am, there also will my servant be.
Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God!
Gospel
John 12:20-33
If a grain of wheat falls on the ground and dies, it yields a rich harvest.
Among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. These approached Philip, who came from Bethsaida in Galilee, and put this request to him, ‘Sir, we should like to see Jesus.’ Philip went to tell Andrew, and Andrew and Philip together went to tell Jesus. Jesus replied to them:
‘Now the hour has come
for the Son of Man to be glorified.
I tell you, most solemnly,
unless a wheat grain falls on the ground and dies,
it remains only a single grain;
but if it dies,
it yields a rich harvest.
Anyone who loves his life loses it;
anyone who hates his life in this world
will keep it for the eternal life.
If a man serves me, he must follow me,
wherever I am, my servant will be there too.
If anyone serves me, my Father will honour him.
Now my soul is troubled.
What shall I say:
Father, save me from this hour?
But it was for this very reason that I have come to this hour.
Father, glorify your name!’
A voice came from heaven, ‘I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.’ People standing by, who heard this, said it was a clap of thunder; others said, ‘It was an angel speaking to him.’ Jesus answered, ‘It was not for my sake that this voice came, but for yours.
‘Now sentence is being passed on this world;
now the prince of this world is to be overthrown.
And when I am lifted up from the earth,
I shall draw all men to myself.’
By these words he indicated the kind of death he would die.
The Gospel of the Lord
R/ Praise to you. Lord Jesus Christ.
---------------------------------------
Fifth Sunday of Lent - Proper Readings
(see also Lazarus)
(Liturgical Colour: Violet: B (2))
First Reading Jeremiah 31:31-34 I will write my Law in their hearts.
See, the days are coming – it is the Lord who speaks – when I will make a new covenant with the House of Israel (and the House of Judah), but not a covenant like the one I made with their ancestors on the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt. They broke that covenant of mine, so I had to show them who was master. It is the Lord who speaks. No, this is the covenant I will make with the House of Israel when those days arrive – it is the Lord who speaks. Deep within them I will plant my Law, writing it on their hearts. Then I will be their God and they shall be my people. There will be no further need for neighbour to try to teach neighbour, or brother to say to brother, ‘Learn to know the Lord!’ No, they will all know me, the least no less than the greatest – it is the Lord who speaks – since I will forgive their iniquity and never call their sin to mind.
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 50(51):3-4,12-15
R/ A pure heart create for me, O God.
Have mercy on me, God, in your kindness. In your compassion blot out my offence. O wash me more and more from my guilt and cleanse me from my sin.
R/ A pure heart create for me, O God.
A pure heart create for me, O God, put a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, nor deprive me of your holy spirit.
R/ A pure heart create for me, O God.
Give me again the joy of your help; with a spirit of fervour sustain me, that I may teach transgressors your ways and sinners may return to you.
R/ A pure heart create for me, O God.
Second Reading Hebrews 5:7-9 He learned to obey and he became the source of eternal salvation.
During his life on earth, Christ offered up prayer and entreaty, aloud and in silent tears, to the one who had the power to save him out of death, and he submitted so humbly that his prayer was heard. Although he was Son, he learnt to obey through suffering; but having been made perfect, he became for all who obey him the source of eternal salvation.
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
Gospel Acclamation John 12:26
Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God! Whoever serves me must follow me, says the Lord; and where I am, there also will my servant be. Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God!
Gospel John 12:20-33 If a grain of wheat falls on the ground and dies, it yields a rich harvest.
Among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. These approached Philip, who came from Bethsaida in Galilee, and put this request to him, ‘Sir, we should like to see Jesus.’ Philip went to tell Andrew, and Andrew and Philip together went to tell Jesus. Jesus replied to them:
‘Now the hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you, most solemnly, unless a wheat grain falls on the ground and dies, it remains only a single grain; but if it dies, it yields a rich harvest. Anyone who loves his life loses it; anyone who hates his life in this world will keep it for the eternal life. If a man serves me, he must follow me, wherever I am, my servant will be there too. If anyone serves me, my Father will honour him. Now my soul is troubled. What shall I say: Father, save me from this hour? But it was for this very reason that I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name!’
A voice came from heaven, ‘I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.’ People standing by, who heard this, said it was a clap of thunder; others said, ‘It was an angel speaking to him.’ Jesus answered, ‘It was not for my sake that this voice came, but for yours.
‘Now sentence is being passed on this world; now the prince of this world is to be overthrown. And when I am lifted up from the earth, I shall draw all men to myself.’
By these words he indicated the kind of death he would die.
The Gospel of the Lord
R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
------------------------------
Fifth Sunday of Lent - Lazarus
(Liturgical Colour: Violet: (2))
First Reading Ezekiel 37:12-14 I shall put my spirit in you, and you will live.
The Lord says this: I am now going to open your graves; I mean to raise you from your graves, my people, and lead you back to the soil of Israel. And you will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and raise you from your graves, my people. And I shall put my spirit in you, and you will live, and I shall resettle you on your own soil; and you will know that I, the Lord, have said and done this – it is the Lord who speaks.
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 129(130)
R/ With the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption.
Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord, Lord, hear my voice! O let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleading.
R/ With the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption.
If you, O Lord, should mark our guilt, Lord, who would survive? But with you is found forgiveness: for this we revere you.
R/ With the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption.
My soul is waiting for the Lord. I count on his word. My soul is longing for the Lord more than watchman for daybreak. (Let the watchman count on daybreak and Israel on the Lord.)
R/ With the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption.
Because with the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption, Israel indeed he will redeem from all its iniquity.
R/ With the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption.
Second Reading Romans 8:8-11 The Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you.
People who are interested only in unspiritual things can never be pleasing to God. Your interests, however, are not in the unspiritual, but in the spiritual, since the Spirit of God has made his home in you. In fact, unless you possessed the Spirit of Christ you would not belong to him. Though your body may be dead it is because of sin, but if Christ is in you then your spirit is life itself because you have been justified; and if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, then he who raised Jesus from the dead will give life to your own mortal bodies through his Spirit living in you.
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
Gospel Acclamation John 11:25, 26
Glory and praise to you, O Christ! I am the resurrection and the life, says the Lord; whoever believes in me will never die. Glory and praise to you, O Christ!
Either:
Gospel John 11:1-45 I am the resurrection and the life.
There was a man named Lazarus who lived in the village of Bethany with the two sisters, Mary and Martha, and he was ill. It was the same Mary, the sister of the sick man Lazarus, who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair. The sisters sent this message to Jesus, ‘Lord, the man you love is ill.’ On receiving the message, Jesus said, ‘This sickness will end not in death but in God’s glory, and through it the Son of God will be glorified.’
Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, yet when he heard that Lazarus was ill he stayed where he was for two more days before saying to the disciples, ‘Let us go to Judaea.’ The disciples said, ‘Rabbi, it is not long since the Jews wanted to stone you; are you going back again?’ Jesus replied:
‘Are there not twelve hours in the day? A man can walk in the daytime without stumbling because he has the light of this world to see by; but if he walks at night he stumbles, because there is no light to guide him.’
He said that and then added, ‘Our friend Lazarus is resting, I am going to wake him.’ The disciples said to him, ‘Lord, if he is able to rest he is sure to get better.’ The phrase Jesus used referred to the death of Lazarus, but they thought that by ‘rest’ he meant ‘sleep’, so Jesus put it plainly, ‘Lazarus is dead; and for your sake I am glad I was not there because now you will believe. But let us go to him.’ Then Thomas – known as the Twin – said to the other disciples, ‘Let us go too, and die with him.’
On arriving, Jesus found that Lazarus had been in the tomb for four days already. Bethany is only about two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to sympathise with them over their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus had come she went to meet him. Mary remained sitting in the house. Martha said to Jesus, ‘If you had been here, my brother would not have died, but I know that, even now, whatever you ask of God, he will grant you.’ ‘Your brother’ said Jesus to her ‘will rise again.’ Martha said, ‘I know he will rise again at the resurrection on the last day.’ Jesus said:
‘I am the resurrection and the life. If anyone believes in me, even though he dies he will live, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?’
‘Yes, Lord,’ she said ‘I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the one who was to come into this world.’
When she had said this, she went and called her sister Mary, saying in a low voice, ‘The Master is here and wants to see you.’ Hearing this, Mary got up quickly and went to him. Jesus had not yet come into the village; he was still at the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who were in the house sympathising with Mary saw her get up so quickly and go out, they followed her, thinking that she was going to the tomb to weep there.
Mary went to Jesus, and as soon as she saw him she threw herself at his feet, saying, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.’ At the sight of her tears, and those of the Jews who followed her, Jesus said in great distress, with a sigh that came straight from the heart, ‘Where have you put him?’ They said, ‘Lord, come and see.’ Jesus wept; and the Jews said, ‘See how much he loved him!’ But there were some who remarked, ‘He opened the eyes of the blind man, could he not have prevented this man’s death?’ Still sighing, Jesus reached the tomb: it was a cave with a stone to close the opening. Jesus said, ‘Take the stone away.’ Martha said to him, ‘Lord, by now he will smell; this is the fourth day.’ Jesus replied, ‘Have I not told you that if you believe you will see the glory of God?’ So they took away the stone. Then Jesus lifted up his eyes and said:
‘Father, I thank you for hearing my prayer. I knew indeed that you always hear me, but I speak for the sake of all these who stand round me, so that they may believe it was you who sent me.’
When he had said this, he cried in a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, here! Come out!’ The dead man came out, his feet and hands bound with bands of stuff and a cloth round his face. Jesus said to them, ‘Unbind him, let him go free.’ Many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary and had seen what he did believed in him.
The Gospel of the Lord
R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
Or:
Gospel John 11:3-7,17,20-27,33-45 I am the resurrection and the life.
Mary and Martha sent this message to Jesus, ‘Lord, the man you love is ill.’ On receiving the message, Jesus said, ‘This sickness will end not in death but in God’s glory, and through it the Son of God will be glorified.’
Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, yet when he heard that Lazarus was ill he stayed where he was for two more days before saying to the disciples, ‘Let us go to Judaea.’
On arriving, Jesus found that Lazarus had been in the tomb for four days already. When Martha heard that Jesus had come she went to meet him. Mary remained sitting in the house. Martha said to Jesus, ‘If you had been here, my brother would not have died, but I know that, even now, whatever you ask of God, he will grant you.’ ‘Your brother’ said Jesus to her ‘will rise again.’ Martha said, ‘I know he will rise again at the resurrection on the last day.’ Jesus said:
‘I am the resurrection and the life. If anyone believes in me, even though he dies he will live, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?’
‘Yes, Lord,’ she said ‘I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the one who was to come into this world.’
Jesus said in great distress, with a sigh that came straight from the heart, ‘Where have you put him?’ They said, ‘Lord, come and see.’ Jesus wept; and the Jews said, ‘See how much he loved him!’ But there were some who remarked, ‘He opened the eyes of the blind man, could he not have prevented this man’s death?’ Still sighing, Jesus reached the tomb: it was a cave with a stone to close the opening. Jesus said, ‘Take the stone away.’ Martha said to him, ‘Lord, by now he will smell; this is the fourth day.’ Jesus replied, ‘Have I not told you that if you believe you will see the glory of God?’ So they took away the stone. Then Jesus lifted up his eyes and said:
‘Father, I thank you for hearing my prayer. I knew indeed that you always hear me, but I speak for the sake of all these who stand round me, so that they may believe it was you who sent me.’
When he had said this, he cried in a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, here! Come out!’ The dead man came out, his feet and hands bound with bands of stuff and a cloth round his face. Jesus said to them, ‘Unbind him, let him go free.’ Many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary and had seen what he did believed in him.
The Gospel of the Lord
R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
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I misread the last ask and made Emily fall instead of Sera. Derp. But maybe my brain needed to give her the right motivation, 'cause she is not happy after what the elders did.
"Please, your excellencies! My lords, hear my prayers and reconsider! Emily's intentions are pure and holy! She did not mean to abandon her post! It's my fault, for always putting so much pressure on her! She only wanted to help human souls who have lost their way! I plead with you to let her come back!"
Sera kneels before the council of elders, mere days after Emily had been cast out for good. She has not eaten or slept during any of that time, weeping and mourning the sister she will never see in the flesh again. She'd tried to call Lucifer...but he'd informed her Emily wanted nothing to do with her.
Emily thinks the meeting had all been a setup...that Sera had been trying to undermine and humiliate her. Helping them with the perfect presentation, to put on a show, expose her heart and the depth of her feelings for Charlie's redemption plan, before the elders had made a spectacle of her, and then forced her down into the depths. Emily had walked right into a trap, and Sera had helped set it, as far as she is aware.
That had been Sera's breaking point. Even the small comfort she might have had communicating with Emily through the sphere, to be able to keep in touch with her that way...all her hope had all been dashed to pieces on the rocks. Now she stands before her superiors, begging for Emily's redemption. Pleading with them for her own forgiveness, by proxy.
As long as Emily considers her the enemy, Sera will never forgive herself. If Emily can't forgive her, why should she? Sera is nothing without her.
"We hear your entreaties, High Seraphim," one of the elders responds, looking down at Sera like she is but a lowly worm squirming along in the dirt. They are so much more powerful than her. They could wink her out of existence with a thought. So she grovels before them, appealing to their egos in hopes that they'll take pity.
"But we cannot abide a traitor. Will not," another elders chimes in. "Our decisions are absolute. Our words are final. We speak it into law. And we do not make mistakes."
Sera bends down to the floor, lower than she's ever felt before. Her forehead meets the cold, alabaster stone of the council hall. She weeps into the ground, unable to stand or even lift her head under the weight of so much grief. What has she left to live for now? What happiness is there to be found? There is none. Her life as she knows it is over.
So then...what else is there to do? Her only reason for being is in Hell...there is nothing else for her in Heaven...could she?...
"What about me?" Sera asks, lifting her head to look at the smallest elder, who is still much more gargantuan and imposing than any other angel she's ever met. They are all so much larger than life. "Can it be me? Can I trade my place for hers?"
The elders seem...taken aback by this question. No one has ever proposed something so desperate, so unorthodox, so ridiculous to them before. Who would willingly enter Hell for someone else? They seem unable to respond, and just whisper among themselves, as if weighing the question, deciding what to do.
"You'd give yourself over to eternal damnation for a traitor?" one of them asks. Sera nods. It's not even a question, to her. There is no other way. "Why?"
"Because I love my sister. She is everything to me. I would face the fires a thousand times over if it meant saving her. I never trusted her enough...and she's shown me the character of her heart, the shape of her soul, is far more worthy of Heaven than mine. I doubted her. I'll not make that mistake again. She deserves to be here, not me."
The elders are quiet again for several moments. Then all of a sudden, they seem to come back to life, not talking quietly among themselves anymore, but hotly debating and contesting one another, speaking over each other in turn. Sera can't make out what exactly they're saying...but honestly, she doesn't care. She's said her piece. Her soul is on the table, for lack of a better metaphor. Her fate is in their ancient hands.
No, that's not right...her fate is in her own hands. She's already made her decision. Felt it in inside. She is just waiting on them now, to help her see it through.
Which is why she's not surprised, when the largest, oldest of the elders looks down at her, with all the judgement and derision of an ageless being whose authority is being tested, and holds up his hand to point down at her.
"Our decisions are absolute. Our words are final. We speak it into law. And we do not make mistakes. If your heart is with your sister, then your body shall join her in the pit."
Sera sighs. The relief is immediate. Even as the hot, stinging air of the flames surround her after the portal is opened, Sera of the High Seraphim is at peace with her choices, for possibly the first time in her life. As she is shoved into an inferno, and as the pit swallows her up, the only emotion she feels now is acceptance, like she's finally going home.
Sera falling in the Emily sated Vaggie au?
Sera meets with Charlie and Sera, and even Vaggie, several times over Lucifer's sphere in the coming days. She had managed to get the elders to agree to an audience with Emily and Charlie. All four of them have planned, concocted, rehearsed, and poured over what they want to say, multiple times, spending so many sleepless hours devising the perfect plan to convince the elders that Charlie's redemption program is a good one. That it will help people.
And most importantly, that it will allow Emily to pass through Heaven and Hell freely, and give her the chance to make a difference. Heaven is down to only one Seraphim, since she vowed to stay in Hell. Surely, Emily thought, the elders will see reason. They'll let her stay in Hell, and continue her duties as Seraphim...they have to.
Right?
Emily had gotten through to her sister. And now Sera loves Charlie, just as she had also loved Vaggie when they were all together back in Heaven. She's given Emily her blessing to be with them both. The only thing that matters now is for Emily and Charlie to prove themselves to Sera's superiors, and bridge the gap between Heaven and Hell, once and for all.
Emily and Charlie are allowed to enter Hell for a single day. A single hour, in fact. To do their presentation, and make their case. As hopefully future ambassador, Emily does most of the talking directly to the elders. They know her...know her heart. If anyone should glean that her intentions are good, it should be them. Then Charlie does her presentation, emulating Emily's tone and stage presence as much as possible; highlighting her program, telling them about the Sinners who are already volunteering, and cluing them in on every other detail they might find pertinent.
The council of elders sits there, quietly, not speaking, through the entire ordeal, watching the two women divest their hearts and souls into this promising endeavor. They appear to be deeply in thought. However, when Charlie and Emily are done, the two stand in awkward silence as the elder angels watch them, emanating light all around, and staring down with so many judgmental eyes, it's almost impossible to count them all.
Eventually, one of them speaks, and Emily can tell the moment before the elder has even completed his first sentence, that she's already failed.
It's like they hadn't been paying attention at all. Nothing Charlie or Emily ever said was going to matter. This was all a ruse. A mistake. A lie. That much is clear, when the elder immediately bypasses the presentation, and Emily is suddenly in shackles, unable to move away or fly away from Charlie, held down to her podium.
"Emily of the Seraphim. You came here today to speak of redemption, and we find your proposition unmoving. You have chosen to abandon your station as a High Seraphim of this realm, and forego any former protections you once succored. The Exorcist Vaggie, your partner, was cast out for betraying our mandate. And thus you will also be cast out, for following her lead. This body knows you hoped to provide relief to Sinners...we cannot abide this wish. But we hope you find respite among them, as your chosen people now. Begone with her!"
Suddenly, a fiery portal opens behind Emily and Charlie, and Emily is dragged by her chains toward the opening, hot air and wind hitting at her back as she is forced through. She flaps her wings vigorously, but the unseen force pulling at her bonds is too strong. Charlie screams her name, and doesn't hesitate even a second, before following the former Seraphim through the portal.
"Emily!"
Sera watches on in...shock and grief aren't even adequate words to describe her feelings at the sight. The portal closes, and Emily and Charlie are both gone, as if they'd never been there. All the hopes she'd had at the beginning of the meeting are gone with them. All the confidence, all the hours she'd put in to help them...all of it had been for nothing.
And since this audience had been her doing, Sera realizes, everything that had just happened is all her fault. The embarrassment Emily had faced. The disgust and anger behind Charlie's eyes...all of it is because of her.
Sera is almost glad Emily is where she wants to be...in Hell. Because she doesn't think she'd ever be able to look at her sister's face again. She will live with this pain, grief, and shame, for the rest of her days.
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As the frost covers the ground and the last of the leaves have long since fallen, I awaken early to the cold sun casting gold across the freezing land. The snows cannot seem to get started this year and I am sadder for it.
In my hands a rosary of hawthorn and rowan berries strung upon the waxy red thread; a cross of thorns graces the end of this charm. Crafted with care by a dear friend whose words give voice to my utter love and devotion for Her. My voice is rough as I work the rosary, but the prayers fall with ease and soon I am lost in the trance and the cold wind of the coming winter.
The Queen is coming, riding silent and sure on the dapple grey horse. Her velvet cloak dusts the ground and leaves snow in its wake and her hammer strikes the branches and biting their skin with ice.
She is blue, my transfixed and transformed Queen. Silent and watchful, she carries the countenance of one of the dead in their soft repose. They alight behind her, a court of corpses and Fae creatures - roused from sleep in the cool earth while they waited patiently for the blistering heat of the summer to fall away.
Upon each Rowan berry, another prayer and a call. She is listening, she hears every word. And like breaking branches, I begin to hear her in return.
Upon each Hawthorn berry, an entreaty. Hear me, dance with me, I am yours. I give of myself freely and take what is offered, and at the last recitation, I am blinded and breathless. I cannot see, and fumbling, I reach for pen and paper to scrawl her whispered words:
A lady came walking from the watery west A pale sun at Her brow and moonlight at Her breast She wore a mantle made of stars And flowers bloomed at Her behest
Her steps put sound to storms One of many of Her shifting forms. And everywhere that She would fly, Her ghastly horde was seen close by.
She poured the water into the well With ink to make Her mirror black She knew all between the heavens and hell She gazed into the mirror and She saw me looking back.
She saw me in Her looking glass And took my hand in Hers And from out my mouth my soul did pass To join Her in the Sabbat Dance.
My deepest gratitude goes out to Mahigan, who created the breathtaking rosary and set of prayers dedicated to the Queen of Winter. And while I cannot share the rosary prayers here with you - some things need to be experienced in person - this tool and prayer set is a complete act of devotion to Winter’s Maiden and every word ring out with the weight of her presence. I cannot thank you enough for this, my dear friend.
Mahigan’s brilliant work can be found at www.kitchentoad.com and you can find them on Instagram @kitchentoad.
#traditionalwitchcraft#witchcraft#tradcraft#fairy faith#faery faith#queen of elphame#wren rambles#under the roses#ophelia drowning#the fair folk#nicneven#nicnevin#folk magic#veneration
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Te Amo {Songfic} Carlos Oliveira x Reader
This was a request from @ch1ld0fth3un1v3rs3. I’m sorry this took so long to be posted. It had been a tough month for me last month so I couldn’t really post any of the requests fast enough. I hope you enjoy this though :).
Song: Te Amo by Rihanna
Warning(s): Angst
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You would never forget the day Carlos Oliveira, your boyfriend for three years, broke your heart.
Three years of love and companionship down the drain because of those four words that left his quivering lips that night before he went to a mission.
“Carlos, please, don’t leave! I love you!” You cried out, your hands tightly grasping onto his forearms while your knees dug unto the cold and hard floor below you, your mouth releasing a bunch of entreaties to convince him to stay. But even when he saw the river of tears that trickled against your cheek and dropped to wherever they desired to land and melt away, he still wouldn’t stay.
Te amo, te amo, she say’s to me I hear the pain in her voice That’s when I saw it in her eyes, it’s over
With the little hope inside you, you continued to plead and even kissed the skin of his exposed thigh, planning to continue where you left off before he said the words ‘it’s over’.
You didn’t want to let him go. Not like that. You never had a reason to and he never had any either so why let each other go when all that you felt when you were with each other were happiness and warmth? Why was it so sudden? Why?
She’s begging me and asking why it’s over
Your lips were still parting and meeting as you sobbed out questions and reasons as to why he should stay, occasional touching his naked body in hopes of getting him to give up on his plan of leaving you.
You didn’t want to be left. It would only cause you to crumble and fall into the abyss full of nothing but broken hearts. It would only cause you to become the cold-hearted person you once were before you met Carlos. It would only cause you to be trapped into a cage full of monsters that would rip your heart out until you collapse and bleed to death. And you didn’t want…need…that.
However, as much as Carlos didn’t want to leave your side, he knew he had to…for your sake…so he only replied with his last four words before he finally gathered his clothes and exited through the door of your once shared home, leaving you alone crying on the floor with no hopes of fixing yourself up.
“I never loved you”
It had been a week since then but you still hadn’t managed to get him out of your already broken heart. You still cried against his favorite pillow that he purposefully left every time you lay down on your bed, yearning and craving for his presence, praying to the heavens above to bring him back and forget about the night he broke your heart and fed you to the wildest beasts.
A lot of questions left unanswered. A lot of prayers still neglected. The tiny hope inside you slowly beginning to fade away together with your faith.
All that was left were the rotting remnants of yourself.
You were beginning to shrink away from the world, physically and mentally, until you noticed a piece of paper peeking through the thin gap underneath your door.
Dear Y/N,
I know what I did to you that night hurt you and broke you and I just wanna say…I’m sorry.
I just…I was scared. The mission that had been assigned to us was dangerous and there was a 90% chance that we wouldn’t survive the incident and…I didn’t want you to cry over my death if that did happen, though, I guess I only made you cry by making you think I didn’t love you.
I’m sorry, I ‘m not really good with letters but I just wanna let you know…te amo.
Love, Carlos
Don’t it mean I love you
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I’m sorry. I just wrote whatever came into my mind. I hope yall like it though
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She often wondered if this man knew exactly the kind of reaction he elicited out of her, or if he was merely winging it. It didn’t take much to get her fired up for him, and he damn well knew it. She had never thought that she would kneel before any man, but she found that they took turns on the prayer pillow. He hadn’t been the first man that had been able to turn her head, but he HAD been the first to keep it turned. She had a keen, morbid fascination over him, and the possessive streak she hadn’t known that she had reared its head like a slithering snake from the abyss over any… person… that deemed to get to close to someone that was the closest to holiness as she would ever come to—yet was by far nowhere near the pearly gates. She would have cast them to flame as well, if they sought to take him from her.
She had investigated his face, and where some might have seen a monster, she saw the other half of his soul, embedded so deeply within her that there was no way you could get him out of her. Try too hard, and she would crumble in their bare hands. There was absolutely no way of separating them. At one time she would tell others that she was bad at love and relationships took more work that she was willing to expend, but here she was, kneeling before the man that she loved in devout hymns to worship on his body. Or at least, that’s what she was confessing in her head—of all the delicious sinning they would be doing as dusk turned into dawn.
She had never been so caught up in her whole life of twenty-two going on twenty-three years. And she wasn’t about to have that stop now. She found that she couldn’t keep her hands off him, much less dissuade her desires of him. They had to be fully satisfied, or they’d be even worse the next go around. Find they were practically mauling at each other like ravenous, bloodthirsty dogs. She could sense him from a mile away, knew his thoughts, his presence, and it dominated her. She needed, yearned for someone that could match her in her measure of avid brutality and conquering. He was her conquistador.
She could not help her distracted thoughts; nor could she keep her mind calm. They were pooling, brimming with desire for him, and it wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. If she took his hand, dug her nails in to make him bleed, could he then feel just how she absolutely did not want to be in this damn class today? It would be enough to grab his attention, and it wasn’t like it had been the first time they had found ways of excusing themselves and no other had been none the wiser for it. Kol Mikaelson was the habit, the obsession she was fixated on, and she knew eventually it would take her out of this world one day. But for the time being, she was going to ride the wave of entreaty that encompassed all of her.
She had the end of her pencil crammed into her mouth, the little eraser on the end of the number two practically wasted away to the metallic component. He was luring her in, enticing her in one of the many ways she knew, that he knew how.
I am going to get you, Kol Mikaelson. I am going to have you by the end of this class, and you won’t know what your face or your name is by the end of it. Concentrate on me. I am your instructor, your assignment, your homework, and I want all your devotion homed in on the prize. Take me to the desk and compel these people to keep their faces forward. I am at your mercy to have as you please, all you must do is simply want it.
It was that last part of his telepathy that she could not respond to—because she felt it more than saw it through his mind. It could be felt as though it were happening; the world faded away and it truly was the two of them, and he was devouring her in the way that she knew that he could, and would.
God damn him, she thought, not allowing THAT thought out of her bubble for him to get to. If they were playing a game, he was assuredly winning.
She did her utmost to keep her face concentrated forward, even if her entire body, every atom and cell, begged for her to turn around to move her eyes to focus on him. Nononononono. He wasn’t going to get the best of her… right? She asked the question more to herself than anything else—
And then the damn scent came. He knew what his scent did to her, how it lured her instantly to him that was the equivalent of Aphrodite’s Girdle or the most potent love elixir. It instantly brought her back to That Night, and it was something she wouldn’t ever be able to unravel herself from.
He knew exactly what he was doing.
She slowly turned into her chair, until her full body was trained on him, her dark chocolate locks splayed over her arm and dangling nearly to the floor. ❛ Oh, yes. Everything is just fine, ❜ she pursed her lips, and squinted her violet eyes as they homed in on his. Before she knew it, she had abandoned her desk, her chair, her belongings, and was quick to fall into his lap, craning over him to attack his face, his throat.
❛ If you wanted me this badly all you had to do was ask, mi amor. ❜ She whispered and attached her lips and teeth gently to the shell of his sensitive ear. ❛ Homework is most definitely out, and so is everything else for the rest of the day. ❜
@wickedslip, nausicaä thorn gave kol the permission to choose from this meme so, kolnausi got : 15) for sender to lick receiver’s cheek in a possessive and lustful way. ( aka, drabble time with this couple of hell. )
she was everything to him. if someone had told him one day, that he would fall for the first girl who would dare to look at him for who he was, he would have laughed at people's faces. because it was not something he would allow himself to do. far from it. he was more of the type to hit her and eat, but something about this goddess he called girlfriend had completely hypnotized him. maybe it was the first look she had given him? that enamored look where deep down, he knew that he would no longer be himself in her presence.
did he like it? of course he did. especially when the feeling was mutual. how can it not be mutuals when she, just as him, couldn't help but stay away from each other. magnet, that's what they both were. two magnets that attracted each other every time their eyes met, every time they spoke, every time they communicated through minds, every time she was mentioned, he couldn't help but look around, as if he knew she wasn't far away, and that was indeed the case.
the thoughts he had at the moment, well, all he wanted was to be with her and not have to leave her for the rest of the day. she had become an addiction. worse than blood. and yet, blood was something he was crazy about, but nausicaä, nausicaä was a whole kind of drug. a drug he wouldn't want to get rid of anytime soon.
that's why, while he tried to stay focused on the little assignment he had to finish, the vampire couldn't help but smile as he tried to distract her with thoughts that could make her go crazy. { if only it was just us in this room, mia cara. do you think this furniture would stay as put as they are now? the way i would move those table and actually have you as my perfect desert. although, we could cast a spell. i mean, don't you want that? don't you want me, at your mercy right now? on my knees while i'm lapping every inch of your body until you squirm underneath me? oh, such a nasty mind, nausicaä, baby, beloved. let our bodies talk, right? }
a smile appeared on his lips again as another idea came to his mind. he know this one could actually end the little tension that was here, in the room. kol knew that his everyday scent had an effect on nausicaä. he remembers one night, where she didn't want to let go of him because he dared to wear the perfume she had given him. a pure delight to remember that and how the evening had ended. the two of them under the sheets.
looking into his backpack, he smiled mischievously as he picked up the bottle of perfume that bore his name, and sprayed some of the nectar on his skin. trying to act like an innocent boy, who doesn't just tell her how he wanted to be on his knees and worship her, he tried to be studyious as he smirked at the sight of seeing her turn around. he couldn't help but smile as he looked into her eyes, faining innocence. " everything okay? " he asked as he sat back down comfortably on the office chair, a little excited at the thought of what she could do to get revenge for his little evil plan.
evil plan that allowed him to see that his girlfriend was completely gone when she clung to him and kissed his cheek, lustfully and bitting it like she hadn't done it in a long time. tilting his face to the side, he couldn't help but let out a moan of pleasure, as he gently carried her and put her on his lap.
" i guess homework is forgotten now, eh? "
#bloodwr4th#dyn :: bloodwr4th / kol : 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝗯𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻.#「 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒅. ⛧ ❛ sowing the seeds of discontent. ❜ 」
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We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:
Tu’er Shen, the Rabbit God of LGBTQIA+ Relations, whose origins stem from Ancient China. He is currently unemployed.
FC NAME/GROUP: Lee Hoseok/Wonho - Soloist GOD NAME: Tu'er Shen / Tu Shen (Leveret Spirit / Rabbit God). He is the patron deity and safeguarder of LGBTQIA+ relations. IC NAME: Hu Tianbao PANTHEON: Chinese OCCUPATION: undecided DEFINING FEATURES: upturned rabbit-like nose
PERSONALITY: Ironically, Tian has grown a lot since his untimely death. However, he is still very much the same lovestruck young man that he was before his rise to divinity. Go figure that losing your life would give you a passion for living, right? He tries to experience new things whenever he can and not set limits on himself. This extends into his relationships with others as well. He has a big heart and cares very much for the people around him, the amount of which is always increasing because he's outgoing. Surprisingly, in spite of being a God who is known to help others find love, he isn't actually known for being monogamous. Part of his reasoning had been that he wasn't settled anywhere in the past, but nothing has changed now that he has put roots down in Mount Phoenix. Tian believes that he has a lot of love to give and that there is no reason it should be restricted to one person.
HISTORY: Many stories over the course of history have romanticized the act of sacrificing oneself for true love. Hu Tianbao doesn't really consider himself any different. A young soldier from the time of the Qing Dynasty, Tian found himself in quite the predicament when he fell for a man serving as a government official.
While bonds between men weren't unheard of in the province of Fujian, they were often concealed as a brotherly sort of relationship. The elder man, known as the qixiong (adoptive older brother) would pay what was essentially a bride price to the parents of the younger man, who would become known as the qidi (adoptive younger brother). They would even host a ceremony just like a formal wedding, after which the qidi would move into the qixiong's home and serve as the equivalent of a wife. Eventually, both men would be expected to marry women and procreate, but some of their partnerships could last up to twenty years before they separated to fulfill their "husbandly duties."
It was risky thinking that perhaps the man he desired would engage in such a deceptive partnership. The official was from another province and it was unlikely that their practices were the same, but Tian couldn't help how smitten he was. They'd met in passing, but he might as well have been invisible to the official, just another lowly commoner. Even so, he'd find himself longingly watching the man as he went about his duties and found it harder to keep his growing affections to himself. Could such a beautiful feeling truly be immoral? Unbeknownst to Tian, the official had noticed him hanging around and had grown suspicious of his intentions. He'd assumed he was a spy or some other shady criminal, but his attention had been harmless enough that the official couldn't make an accusation. The day came that Tian could no longer keep his feelings to himself, though, and he ventured to the bathhouse he knew the official frequented, hoping to catch him alone so he could tell him. He'd very nearly backed out, but the official saw him before he could and immediately questioned why Tian would invade his privacy. In a fit of nervous emotion, Tian confessed his love, saying that he knew it was wrong and that he was unworthy of a man of his stature, but that he couldn't help his heart's desire.
The official would have probably been less disgusted if Tian had confessed to murder. In a fit of rage, he dragged Tian out of the bathhouse and had his guards beat him to death, leaving his body beneath a dead tree. Tian journeyed to the Underworld, where the Lord of the Afterlife recognized his love had been true and granted him the title of the Rabbit God, so that he may oversee and protect the affairs of people like himself. With his newfound purpose, Tian returned to the mortal realm and appeared in the dream of a villager, telling him to build a temple where those in need could seek his aid.
For nine years, Tian blessed many relationships who would otherwise be shunned by the powers that be. In 1765, however, a new official named Zhu Gui came to Fujian. On the surface, he seemed like a true servant of the people, but his ultimate goal was the expansion of Confusian principles. He would create and enforce the first law in China to ban homosexual relations and so began his crusade against what he deemed as the "Cult of Hu Tianbao." Zhu Gui accused the Rabbit God's followers of being lewd individuals who prayed in secret for assistance in corrupting the youth to share in their depraved desires. It didn't take much convincing for him to receive government support to destroy their places of worship.
Tu'er Shen's temples were razed to the ground. His idols were smashed to pieces and scattered into the river to never be recovered. Like the forgotten bits sinking into the dark depths, those who worshipped and found comfort in the controversial God were forced to do so in secret. They would erect small, unmarked shrines that only they knew the true purpose for and couldn't even tell the tale of the unfortunate Hu Tianbao without the fear of retribution. Yet the shunned God still listened to the pleas of those who felt misunderstood and oppressed simply for who they loved. He only wished that he could reach out to more of the community that had no other Gods to turn to who understood their plight.
For nearly two centuries, the government's persecution of his followers had left Tu'er Shen's already discrete temples abandoned. If anyone happened across it, there wasn't even any sign that it belonged to the Rabbit God, except for the coincidental presence of bunnies that could occasionally be caught scurrying away into the foliage. He would go years before he would hear the whispers of someone's prayers... So it was with great sorrow that Tu'er Shen left Fujian. The harsh reality was that he couldn't do much for people who didn't know he even existed. A forgotten God was powerless... Yet as the civil rights movement for the LGBTQIA+ community grew in fervor, he realized that he could do so much more as just a man.
Tianbao traveled the world, finding the little pockets of people willing to fight for the freedom to love who they wanted without the fear of suffering the same grim fate as so many others. It wasn't until the 20th century that the movement truly started gaining traction and was able to make legal leaps and bounds to decriminalize same-sex partnerships. Seeing the progress that humans made, without having to entreaty the aid of a higher power, really astounded Tianbao. He would have never thought in his wildest dreams that any of what he'd witnessed would ever be possible. A once silent community had found its own voice and fought against all odds to make sure they were heard.
While Western nations were making more progress, though, Tian wasn't ignorant to the seemingly insurmountable oppression that was still going on in his homeland. In 2006, he found himself called back when a priest in Taiwan built the first temple dedicated to The Leveret Spirit in nearly two centuries. Even though he had been fighting for civil rights alongside mortals for many years, there had always been a sense that something was missing. Hearing the prayers of those who felt alone and reminding them that they were not fulfilled a purpose he had all but forgotten. During his years spent in Taiwan, Tian had crossed paths with a few Gods and Goddesses from an island out in the sea that mere mortals couldn't find. It wasn't until 2019, when same-sex marriages were legalized in Taiwan, that Tian decided to go check out this island for himself and he has remained there ever since.
POWERS: in his myth, Tu'er Shen can enter dreams and interact with the dreamer. But when going to his temple, people pray to him to find love and for blessings/good fortune in same-sex relationships. Usually at the temple, they ask for talismans or blessings on things like skin care products to hopefully attract a partner. So I was thinking his powers would be the ability to walk in dreams and influence the dreamer, momentarily increasing the luck or allure of someone carrying a blessed item, and minor wish granting.
STRENGTHS: confident, assertive, observant, instinctive, friendly WEAKNESSES: single minded, overly emotional, blames himself for things he can't control, overly protective of his children, cannot swim
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November 1 - Today is the Feast of All Saints’ (Latin Calendar Reflection)
The Church day by day gives special veneration to one or more of the holy men and women who have helped to establish it by their blood, develop it by their labors, or edify it by their virtues. But, in addition to those whom the Church honors by special designation or has inscribed in her calendar, how many martyrs are there whose names are not recorded! How many humble virgins and holy penitents! How many unknown anchorites and monks, Christian fathers and mothers, young children snatched away in their innocence! How many courageous Christians, whose merits are known only to God and His heavenly court!
Should we forget those who remember us in their intercession? Are not some among them our ancestors? members of our immediate family? our friends and fellow-Christians, with whom we have lived in daily companionship? In fact, all of Heaven is but one family — Our Lord’s, as He Himself said: Who is My mother and who are My brethren? And stretching forth His hand towards His disciples, He said, Behold My mother and My brethren! For whoever does the Will of My Father in heaven, is My brother and sister and mother. Today we have the opportunity to thank God, if at other times we forget, for their aid and their love. And today we adore Him with them, for the grace which raised them to their present joy. The Church requires this homage of us, by making this day a holy day of obligation for all. Our place, too, is awaiting us in this home of eternal light, peace and love, if we persevere to the end in the fulfillment of God’s holy Will.
by Father Francis Xavier Weninger, 1876
The Catholic Church, which, every day in the year, places some Saints before our eyes to honor and imitate, represents them all to us today; hence today’s festival is called: The Feast of All Saints. The origin of it was as follows : There was, at Rome, a magnificent temple, which had been built before Christ, by Marcus Agrippa, and was called the Pantheon or Temple of all the gods, because they were all worshiped therein. This idolatrous temple had not been torn down like many others, but Pope Boniface IV. consecrated it according to Catholic usage, to the Virgin Mother and all the Saints. To the greater edification of the people, he had many relics of holy Martyrs placed in it with due magnificence, whence this Church received the name of the Church of the holy Martyrs.
In after years, it was ordered by Pope Gregory IV. that, not only the festival of the holy Martyrs, but also that of all other Saints, should be celebrated in the above mentioned Church and in all Christendom. The reasons for instituting this festival were the following: First, it cannot be doubted that the number of Saints who reign with Christ in heaven is very large. “I saw so large a number,” says St. John, ” that nobody could count them.” To speak only of those who became martyrs for Christ’s sake, they, according to authentic historians, already in the first centuries of the Church, numbered 17 millions. Who can count the other Saints, as well of the Clergy as the laity, who served God faithfully and died in His grace? The number of the Saints is very great, but most of them are unknown to us. We know the names of the holy Apostles, of many apostolic men, many founders of religious orders, many popes, bishops, religious, hermits, virgins, widows, married people, nobles, princes, kings and emperors; but there is a number far exceeding these, whose very names are unknown to us. And as it is but just that we, who are yet in the Church Militant and are united by the bond of charity with the Saints, should honor them duly, as they are honored as true servants and friends by the Almighty Himself, the holy Church has appointed this day for honoring them all together, as it is not possible to consecrate a separate day to each of them.
The second reason is contained in the prayer which the Church on this day recites in Holy Mass: “That on account of the great number of our intercessors, God may bestow on us, more abundantly, the desired gifts of His liberality.” No Catholic doubts that the Saints in heaven, because they enjoy the favor of the Almighty, can obtain for us by their intercession many graces, of which we are not worthy, on account of our sins. For, it is known that, while they were still living on earth, they not only averted much evil from mankind by their intercession, but also drew down many benefits upon them. That we may therefore obtain more surely all that we need or that is useful for our salvation, the holy Church has ordered that we shall today call upon all the Saints as our intercessors, trusting implicitly that the Most High will not disregard the entreaties of so many of His friends.
The third reason is as follows: The Church according to St. Bernard, represents to us so many Saints, in every station in life, to encourage us so that we may not only venerate them, but also imitate their virtues; and that as we call them blessed, so we too should strive after that salvation which they have already attained. Hence, also, the Gospel of the Eight Beatitudes is read today; as in it the road is pointed out and explained, by which the Saints have reached heaven; a road which we too must walk, if we wish to join them in heaven. We will now explain, in few words, three other points, namely; what we ought especially to meditate upon, to learn and to do, on this day. In regard to the first of these points, we ought to meditate on the happiness of the Saints in heaven, and on the way they walked, or the means they employed to attain their blessedness. This blessedness, to say much in few words, is so great, that it can neither be described nor comprehended. “We can obtain it,” says St. Augustine, “but cannot esteem it too highly. No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and it has not entered into the heart of man, what God has prepared for those that love Him,” that is, for the Saints in heaven.
The happiness of the least Saint in heaven is inexpressibly greater than the most perfect happiness on earth. We esteem those on earth happy, who are not persecuted, nor poor, nor sick, nor despised; but who are distinguished by their high rank, and are honored by all; who enjoy health, and possess a superfluity of riches and pleasures. And yet, how few ever attain such temporal happiness, and when they have attained it, how uncertain they are in its possession! But the happiness of the Saints is true, real happiness; for, nothing is wanted to make it most perfect. They are free from everything that could in the least sadden them; they possess all that can make them glad, all that they can desire, nay, much more than they can desire. They are surrounded by joys, they swim in happiness. Therefore it is written: ” Enter into the joys of the Lord!” The happiness of the Saints is a secure happiness; for they have nothing to fear. No one can disturb their joy; no one can lessen it; no one can take it away from them. But what increases the bliss of the Saints most is the thought that it shall last eternally.
The Saints are in glory, and for evermore. They are filled with joys for evermore, for all eternity. They possess all honor and wealth, and all without end, without interruption. Oh! how great a bliss! But how have the Saints attained it? By the use of those means which God has left in His Church, by true faith; by holy baptism; by observing the Commandments, by avoiding sin, by practicing good works, by patience in crosses and sufferings. They walked in the path which Christ shows us in His holy Gospel, the path of innocence, or the path of penance. They served God faithfully and constantly while they were on earth; they earnestly worked for the salvation of their souls; they either committed no sin, or did true penance. When God sent them poverty, sickness, or other adversity, they bore it with Christian patience. In this manner, they attained to such great and eternal felicity. From all this you will doubtless be able to draw the lessons which today’s festival offers. I will here give them to you in still shorter form.
Learn, firstly, how true to His promise God is and how richly He recompenses His servants. He leaves not the least good unrewarded, and the recompense He gives is great and eternal. For short labor and suffering, He gives great and everlasting joys. Who would not willingly serve so liberal a Master? Who would not gladly labor and suffer for Him? Who, that longs so ardently for the possession of mere temporal happiness, can hesitate to aim, with all the powers of his mind, at the eternal bliss prepared for the servants of the Most High? Should not every one be animated by the thought of eternal felicity, faithfully and zealously to serve the Lord?
Learn, secondly, that we can gain Heaven in any station of life; for in any station, we can make use of those means which God has given us to work out our salvation. In Heaven there are Saints of all ranks and conditions; emperors and empresses; kings and queens; princes and princesses; nobles and plebeians; learned men and unlettered men; poor and rich; officers and soldiers; magistrates, artisans and peasants; man-servants and maid-servants; unmarried and married persons; widowers and widows; youths, maidens and children. Many Saints lived in the same station in which you live; from it, they went to heaven; and so may you. You have only to live in your station as they did and use the means for your salvation as they used them.
Learn, thirdly, that you will have only yourself to blame, if you do not go to heaven to join the Saints; for, God asks no more from you than from them, and gives you the same means for salvation that He gave to them. The Saints were like you, human beings; like you, they lived in dangers and temptations; like you, they suffered and struggled; and yet they served God and went to heaven. Are you unable to do what they did? You are certainly able, if you have but a true and earnest desire to succeed. If you have it not, the fault is entirely your own. The example of so many Saints, who lived in your station, will convict you of falsehood, if you say that your station prevents you from gaining life everlasting.
All that now remains is to consider what must be done to celebrate today’s festival worthily. A few words will teach you this. If you desire to attain the end and aim of this feast, endeavor according to the instructions of holy Church to honor the Saints of the Almighty and invoke them as powerful intercessors at His throne. They are true servants and friends of God, and they are honored by Him. Their intercession is all-powerful with the Almighty. While still on earth, they obtained for others great gifts from God; why then should they not be able to do so now that they are in heaven? To say that the Saints know nothing of us or of our prayers, is a sign of ignorance, and is against Holy Writ; for, we are assured therein that the Saints are equal to the Angels, and we can not doubt that these have knowledge of us and of our prayers. The Gospel tells us that they rejoice when a sinner does penance; and St. John says that they offer our prayers to God. Hence, call on the Saints with confidence, that, through the merits of Christ, they would obtain for you the grace to live so that you may one day join them. But above all, endeavor to imitate the virtues of the Saints, as this is the best way to honor them. Each Saint calls from Heaven to us, in the words that St. Paul wrote to the Corinthians: ” Be my followers,” imitate my example. This is especially the call of those Saints, who lived in your station.
If you would enjoy their society in heaven, you must live as they lived on earth. To live as those lived who are in hell, and yet to hope to go, after this life, where they are whom we venerate as Saints, is senseless. Live as the Saints lived, and you will go to heaven as they did. Walk in their footsteps. No one ever obtained life everlasting without the true faith. No one was saved by faith alone. The Saints labored and suffered for heaven. You too must labor and suffer; heaven is worth it.
Feast of All Saints’
by Abbot Gueranger
The Feast of All Saints’ — November 1
In the evening of the 31st of October, the bells ring out as joyously as on the brightest days. They announce the great solemnity of the closing liturgical cycle: the Feast which shows us time stamped with the impress of eternity, and God taking possession of the declining year and gathering in its harvest. At the sound of their triumphant and harmonious peals, the Church, prostrate and fasting since morning, raises Her brow to the light. Guided by St. John, She penetrates the secrets of Heaven; and the words of the beloved disciple, uttered now by Her lips as She begins First Vespers, assume a tone of incomparable enthusiasm. This feast is truly the triumph of Her motherhood; for the great crowd of the Blessed before the throne of the Lamb are the sons and daughters She alone has given to the Lord: I saw a great multitude which no man could number, of all nations, standing before the throne.
When Rome had completed the conquest of the world, she dedicated to all the gods, in token of her gratitude, the Pantheon, the most durable monument of her power. But when she herself had been conquered by Christ, and invested by Him with the empire over souls, she withdrew her homage from vain idols and offered it to the martyrs; for they, praying for her as she slew them, had rendered her truly eternal. To the martyrs, then, and to Mary their Queen, she consecrated forever, on the morrow of her merciful chastisement, the now purified Pantheon.
Come forth from your dwellings, ye Saints of God; hasten to the place prepared for you (Ritual for the Dedication of a Church). For three centuries the catacombs were the resting-place of Our Lord’s athletes, when they were borne from the arena. These valiant warriors deserved the honors of a triumph far better than did the great victors of old. In 312, however, Rome, disarmed but not yet changed in heart, was not at all disposed to applaud the men who had conquered the gods of Olympus and of the Capitol. While the Cross surmounted her ramparts, the white-robed army still lay entrenched in the subterranean crypts that surrounded the city like so many outworks. Three centuries more were granted to Rome, that she might make satisfaction to God’s justice, and take full cognizance of the salvation reserved for her by His mercy. In 609 the patient work of grace was completed; the Sovereign Pontiff Boniface IV uttered the word for the sacred crypts to yield up their treasures. It was a solemn moment, a forerunner of that wherein the angel’s trumpet-call shall sound over the sepulchers of the world. The Successor of St. Peter, in all his apostolic majesty and surrounded by an immense crowd, presented himself at the entrance of the catacombs. He was attended by eighteen chariots magnificently adorned for the conveyance of the martyrs. The ancient triumphal way was opened before the Saints; the sons of the Quirites sang in their honor: You shall come with joy and proceed with gladness; for behold, the mountains and the hills exult, awaiting you with joy. Arise, ye Saints of God, come forth from your hiding places; enter into Rome, which is now the holy city; bless the Roman people following you to the temple of the false gods, which is now dedicated as your own church, there to adore together with you the majesty of the Lord (Ritual for the Dedication of a Church).
Thus after six centuries of persecution and destruction, the martyrs had the last word; and it was a word of blessing, a signal of grace for the great city hitherto drunk with the blood of Christians. More than rehabilitated by the reception she was giving to the witnesses of Christ, she was now not merely Rome, but the new Sion, the privileged city of the Lord. She now burned before the Saints the incense they had refused to offer to her idols; their blood had flowed before the very altar on which she now invited them to rest, since the usurpers had been hurled back into the abyss. It was a happy inspiration that induced her, when she dedicated to the holy martyrs the temple built by Marcus Agrippa and restored by Severus Augustus, to leave upon its pediment the names of its original constructors and the title they had given it; for then only did the famous monument truly merit its name, when Christian Rome could apply to the new inhabitants of the Pantheon those words of the 81st Psalm: I have said, you are gods. May 13th was the day of their triumphant installation.
Every dedication on earth reminds the Church, as She Herself tells us, of the assembly of the Saints, the living stones of the eternal dwelling which God is building for Himself in Heaven. It is not astonishing, then, that the dedication of Agrippa’s Pantheon, under the above-mentioned circumstances, should have originated the Feast of All Saints. Its anniversary, recalling the Church’s desire of honoring year by year all Her blessed sons who had died for the Lord; for, at an early date it became impossible to celebrate each of them on the day of his glorious death. In the age of peace there was added to the veneration of the martyrs that of the other just, who daily sanctified themselves in all the paths of heroism opened out to Christian courage. The thought of uniting these with the former in one common solemnity, which would supply for the unavoidable omission of many of them, followed naturally upon the initiative given by Boniface IV.
In 732, in the first half of that 8th century which was such a grand age for the Church, Gregory III dedicated, at St. Peter’s on the Vatican, an oratory in honor ‘of the Savior, of His Blessed Mother, of the holy Apostles, of all the holy Martyrs, Confessors, and perfect just, who repose throughout the world.’ A dedication under so extensive a title did not, it is true, imply the establishment of our Feast of All Saints by the illustrious Pontiff; yet from this period it began to be celebrated by divers churches, and that, too, on November 1, as is attested, with regard to England, by Venerable Bede’s martyrology and the pontifical of Egbert of York. It was far, however, from being universal, when in the year 835 Louis the Pious, son of St. Karl the Great, at the request of Gregory IV, and with the consent of all the bishops of his realm, made its celebration obligatory by law. This decree was welcomed by the whole Church and adopted as Her own, says Ado, with reverence and love.
The councils of Spain and Gaul, as early as the 6th century, mention a custom then existing, of sanctifying the commencement of November by three days of penance and litanies, like the Rogation days which precede the Feast of Our Lord’s Ascension. The fast on the Vigil of All Saints is the only remaining vestige of this custom of our forefathers, who, after the institution of the Feast, advanced the triduum of penance, so as to make it a preparation for the solemnity itself. “Let our devotion be complete,” is the recommendation of Alcuin, a contemporaneous author; “let us prepare ourselves for the most holy Solemnity by three days of fasting, prayer and almsdeeds.”
When extended to the entire world, the Feast became complete; it was made equal to the greatest solemnities, and widened its horizon till it reached the infinite, embracing uncreated as well as created sanctity. Its object was now, not only Mary and the Martyrs; not only all the just children of Adam; but, moreover, the nine choirs of Angels, and above all the Holy Trinity Itself, God Who is the King of kings — that is, of the Saints. Hear how the Church awakes Her children on this day: Come let us adore the Lord, the King of kings, for He is the Crown of all the Saints.
In many churches the ancient Office of the Feast, up to the 16th century, had this peculiarity: that at the Nocturns, the first antiphon, the first blessing, the first lesson and the first responsory, treated of the Blessed Trinity; the second of these respective pieces spoke of Our Lady; the third of the Angels; the fourth of the Patriarchs; the fifth of the Apostles; the sixth of the Martyrs; the seventh of the Confessors; the eighth of the Virgins; the ninth of all the Saints. On this account the first lesson, contrary to the custom of the rest of the year, was given to the highest dignitary of the choir, and the first responsory to the first cantors. The rest followed in order down to the children, one of whom sang the lesson of the Virgins, and five others, clothed in white and holding lighted tapers in the hands in memory of the five wise virgins, sang the eighth responsory before Our Lady’s altar. The ninth lesson and responsory were again chanted by the priests. All, or nearly all, of these customs have been successively modified; but the arrangement of the responsories remains the same.
Ancient documents referring to this day inform us that on the 1st of November the same eagerness was shown as at Christmas to assist at the Holy Sacrifice. However general the Feast was, or rather because of its universality, was it not the special joy of everyone, and the honor of Christian families? Taking a holy pride in the persons whose virtues they handed down to posterity, they considered the Heavenly glory of the ancestors, who had perhaps been unknown in the world, to be a higher nobility than any earthly dignity.
Faith was lively in those days; and Christians seized the opportunity of this Feast to make amends for the neglect, voluntary or involuntary, suffered during the year by the Blessed inscribed on the general Calendar. In the famous Bull Transiturus de hoc mundo, by which he established the Feast of Corpus Christi, Pope Urban IV mentions this as one of the motives that had led to the prior institution of All Saints; and expresses a hope that the new Solemnity may in like manner compensate for the distractions and coldness of the rest of the year towards this divine Sacrament, wherein He resides Who is the Crown and Glory of all Saints.
The Introit antiphon resembles one read on some Feasts of Our Lady. This Feast is indeed a sequel to Mary’s triumph. As Our Lord’s Ascension called for His Mother’s Assumption, both required for their completion the universal glorification of the human race which provides Heaven with its King and Queen. Joy, then, on earth, which continues thus magnificently to give its fruit! Joy among the Angels, who see their vacant thrones filled up! Joy, says the Verse, to all the blessed who are receiving the congratulations of Heaven and earth! Let us all rejoice in the Lord, celebrating a festival day in honor of all the Saints: at whose solemnity the Angels rejoice and give praise to the Son of God.
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Okay, soooo.. your new prompt generator gives me life! =) I'm usually superbad at thinking of prompts, so this is helpful. How about quiet cool dark early mornings for my girl Maggie Paquin?
"Wouldn't have taken you for an early bird, Paquin."
Maggie jumped a little, hardly realizing that she'd have company. She'd thought it would just be her, out here admiring the sunrise, but here was Lieutenant Warren, jogging up in her PT clothes and admiring the view. She knew that the Lieutenant was an early riser, and that sometimes Hannah would join her for her customary morning run - but her friend wasn't anywhere to be seen. Maggie tried not to stare at the great mass of scar tissue on the lieutenant's leg, peeking out from her PT shorts, but the Lieutenant hadn’t noticed the staring - she was too busy catching her breath and admiring the view. "Sorry about that," she added, after a while, looking over at Maggie. "Didn't mean to startle you."
"No, ma'am, it's just - I think you're the only one who can say my name," Maggie said. "Everyone else just calls me Packin."
"All that French I learned for lettering dinner menus is finally paying off," the Lieutenant replied with a wry smile. "I don't think all of that's just mispronouncing your name, though. Doris tells me some of that's from being a fine shot - that it's just as much 'packing heat' as Paquin." Maggie allowed herself a brief moment of wonder to realize her sergeant had been talking about her (and her shooting!) to her Lieutenant - and that the Lieutenant thought enough of her to remember it. "It's nice to have a nickname," Warren went on. "Means you've been here long enough for people to care about you. You've heard mine, I'm sure."
"I've heard Sergeant Gordon call you Joanie, ma'am."
She snorted. "Well, that is one, but no - when I first joined up, I was Saint Joan."
Now, there was a name that Maggie knew all too well. Impossible to grow up a girl with French speaking parents and not know her - her mother had nearly made her make Jeanne her confirmation name. She couldn't count the number of prayer cards she'd gotten before she shipped out with the Maid of Orleans on them and earnest entreaties in the mother tongue on the back. "Because you were going to save France, ma'am?"
"Because I was a stuck-up prig who didn't know how to have fun on a Friday," the lieutenant replied flatly, her smile admitting that some of that just might have been true. "And the name fit. The France bit came later. But now I don't hate hearing it. Anyone who calls me that usually does so with some love. Helps that it's not all the time now, though. Now, the Pershing Princess - that can go crawl in a hole and die," she added, still deadpan, "But I'll keep Saint Joan a while. And I'll keep Packin', too, if I can. I need every good shot I can get."
"Absolutely, ma'am," Maggie replied, loving the nickname even more.
"Enjoy the rest of your morning, Maggie," the Lieutenant said, stepping off back down the road and leaving Maggie alone with the chill of the morning and a lot to think about, about nicknames, and belonging, and her next letter home to her mother. Would she take her daughter’s war any better if she told her she was following Saint Joan?
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Daily Devotionals for June 16, 2024
Proverbs: God's Wisdom for Daily Living
Devotional Scripture:
Proverbs 18:23-24(KJV): 23 The poor useth entreaties; but the rich answereth roughly. 24 A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and a friend sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:23-24(Amp): 23 The poor use entreaties, but the rich answer roughly. 24 The man of many friends (a friend to all the world) will prove himself a bad friend, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Thought for the Day
Verse 23 - Proverbs addresses many relationship issues: how most poor people approach things, as opposed to how some rich people would respond in those circumstances. If a poor man needs something from a rich man, he does so in a nice way, pleading earnestly. If he were to demand or raise his voice he would stand a chance of being denied. A man whose only recourse is to appeal to the compassion of others is desperate. He has nothing to offer, nothing to give him dignity. His situation has robbed him of confidence and shattered his pride. Most rich people are at ease, and they do not know what it is like to be humbled by desperation. Since they have money and power, they feel that they can get away with answering roughly or unkindly. They believe that their position entitles them to have an unpleasant attitude whenever they feel like it.
Christians are in the world, but not of the world. "I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world" (John 17:14-17). We are called to a higher way; to love all men (1 Corinthians 12:31; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Love is courteous, no matter what our position or another's position is. If God has promoted us to positions of influence or given us wealth, we must not think more highly of ourselves than we ought. Impolite answers are demeaning. We must retain a basic respect for all people because they are made in God's image and Christ loves and died for each one of them.
Verse 24 - A man who is friendly with the whole world does not make a good friend. He can only be everyone's friend by either having no convictions or by having only superficial friendships. The Bible warns us to choose our friends carefully because they will influence us. We should not choose as a friend, someone who is "everyone's friend," a wicked person, or someone who worships other gods (Deuteronomy 13:6-8). Those who are close to us; whether family or friends are in a position to influence us, often without saying anything. Consciously or unconsciously, we all want to imitate those we love and admire. This is why we must choose our friends carefully.
There is a friend that "sticks closer than a brother." That friend is Jesus. If we commit ourselves to God, He can lead us to Christian brothers and sisters who will be true friends to us. Best of all, we can rest in the assurance that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Jesus is the Friend and Brother who never fails. He is always with us to help and guide us (Hebrews 13:5).
Prayer Devotional for the Day
Dear heavenly Father, I am thankful for Your love and friendship. Truly, You are that friend that sticks closer than a brother. You are always there for us. Father, help me to be a good friend to those whom You have joined me in friendship. I always want to be a loving, kind, and faithful friend. I need Your kind of love to do this. Fill me with Your Spirit today so that I will be a blessing to all that I meet. Lord, may I not roughly answer people. Help me to always be kind and patient in my dealings with people everywhere as a witness of Your love. Also, Lord, thank you for all the wonderful friends You have given me. Bless each of them today. I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen. From: Steven P. Miller @ParkermillerQ, gatekeeperwatchman.org Saturday, June 15, 2024, Jacksonville, Florida., USA. Founder and Administrator of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups X ... @ParkermillerQ #GWIG, #GWIN, #GWINGO, #Ephraim1, #IAM, #Sparkermiller, #Eldermiller1981 Https://gatekeeperwatchman.org/post/751889961062744064/daily-devotionals-for-may-30-2024-proverbs-gods? MY GROUP ON FACEBOOK/META: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Sparkermiller.JAX.FL.USA
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Saints&Reading: Thu., Dec., 31 2020
Commemorated on December 18_ by the new calendar
The Holy Martyr Sebastian (305)
The Holy Martyr Sebastian was born in the city of Narbonum (in Gaul, modernday France), and he received his education at Mediolanum (now city of Milan in Italy). Under the co-reigning emperors Diocletian and Maximian (284-305) he occupied the position of head of the imperial guards. Saint Sebastian was respected for his authority and with the love of the soldiers and those at court: he was a brave man, filled with wisdom, his word was honest, his judgement just, insightful in advice, faithful in his service and in everything entrusted him. But being himself a secret Christ, he much aided his brethren in the faith. The Christian brothers Marcellinus and Mark had been locked up in prison, and at first they firmly confessed the true faith. But under the influence of the tearful entreaties of the pagan-parents (the father Tranquillinus and mother Marcia), and also their own wives and children, they wavered in their intent to suffer for Christ. Saint Sebastian went to the imperial treasurer, at whose house Marcellinus and Mark were held in confinement, and uttered a rousing speech. "O ye valiant warriors of Christ! Cast not away the standards of your victory on account of womanly tears nor let up upon the enemy cast down beneathe your feet, wherein he, in regaining strength would again renew the struggle with you. Over every earthly impulse raise up the glorious banner of your deed. If those, whom ye see weeping should know that there be another life – bereft of death and ill, in the which doth reign unceasing bliss, then assuredly they would wish to enter into it with you, and contemning temporal life, they would instead strive to receive the eternal. For he that desireth not to be servant of life eternal, doth indeed perish in this temporal life in vain". Saint Sebastian thus persuaded the brothers to go through with their act of martyrdom. His speech stirred everyone present. They beheld, how the very face of the saint did shine like that of an angel, and they saw how seven Angels did attire him radiant garb, and a fair Youth did bless the orator and say: "Always shalt thou be with Me". The wife of the imperial treasurer Nicostratus, named Zoa, had lost the ability to speak 6 years previously, and she fell down at the feet of Saint Sebastian, with her gestures imploring him to heal her. The saint made the Sign of the Cross over the woman, and she immediately began to speak and she glorified the Lord Jesus Christ. She said that she had seen an Angel with an open book, from which Saint Sebastian did read his preaching. Thereupon all present came to be believers in the Saviour of the world. Nicostratus removed the chains from Marcellinus and Mark and offered to hide them, but the brothers refused. Mark said: "Let them rend our bodies with cruel torments; they can kill the body, but the soul, warring for the faith, is not to be conquered by them". Nicostratus and his wife asked for Baptism. Saint Sebastian advised Nicostratus to arrange matters such, that Baptism might be made over possibly a large number of people. Nicostratus then requested the Roman prison-head Claudius to send to him all the imprisoned. Conversing with the prisoners, Sebastian became convinced that they were all worthy of Baptism, and he summoned the presbyter Polycarp, who prepared them for the mystery with a catechetical talk, he instructed them to fast, having set for evening time the making of the sacrament. During this while Claudius informed Nicostratus, that the Roman eparch named Arestius Chromatus was pressing him for an explanation as to why the prisoners were gathered at his house. Nicostratus told Claudius about the healing of his wife, and Claudius in turn led to Saint Sebastian his own sick sons, Symphorian and Felix. In the evening the priest Polycarp baptised Tranquillinus with his kin and friends, and Nicostratus and all his family, Claudius and his sons, and likewise 16 condemned prisoners. The newly-baptised numbered 64 in all. Appearing before the eparch Chromatus, Nicostratus told him how Saint Sebastian had converted them to the Christian faith and healed many from sickness. The words of Nicostratus persuaded the eparch. He summoned to him Saint Sebastian and the presbyter Polycarp, being enlightened by them and became a believer in Christ. Together with Chromatus, his son Tiburtius and all his household accepted holy Baptism. The number of the newly-enlightened increased to 1400. In consideration of being a Christian, Chromatus resigned his office of eparch. During this time the bishop at Rome was Saint Caius (afterwards Pope of Rome from 283-296, Comm. 11 August). Saint Caius gave blessing to Chromatus to go to his estates in Southern Italy together with the presbyter Polycarp. Christians unable to undergo the suffering of martyrdom went with them. The priest Polycarp had been dispatched for strengthening the newly-converted in the faith and for making the sacraments. Tiburtius, the son of Chromatus, desired to accept martyrdom and he remained in Rome with Saint Sebastian. Of those remaining, Saint Caius ordained Tranquillinus to the dignity of presbyter, his sons Marcellinus and Mark were ordained deacons, and there remained also Nicostratus, his wife Zoa and brother Castorius, and Claudius, his son Symphorian and brother Victorinus. They gathered at the court of the emperor together with a secret Christian, the dignitary Castulus, but soon the time began for them to suffer for the faith. The pagans arrested Saint Zoa first, praying at the grave of the Apostle Peter. At the trial she bravely confessed her faith in Christ and she died, hung by her hair over rotting refuse; her body then was thrown into the River Tiber. Appearing in a vision to Saint Sebastian, she told him about her death. Presbyter Tranquillinus was the next after her to suffer: pagans pelted him with stones at the grave of the holy Apostle Peter, and his body was likewise thrown into the Tiber. Saints Nicostratus, Castorius, Claudius, Victorinus and Symphorian were seized at the riverbank, when they were pulling out the bodies of the martyrs. They led them to the eparch, and the saints refused his command to offer sacrifice to idols. They tied stones to the necks of the martyrs and then drowned them in the sea. The false-Christian Torquatus betrayed Saint Tiburtius. But not gaining a renunciation of Christ from him, the trial-court gave orders to put young Tiburtius on red-hot coals, but the Lord preserved him: Tiburtius walked through the burning coals, not feeling the heat. The torturers then beheaded Saint Tiburtius. Unknown Christians then buried the saint. Torquatus betrayed also the holy Deacons Marcellinus and Mark, and the dignitary Saint Castulus. After torture they threw Castulus into a pit and buried him alive, but Marcellinus and Mark had their feet nailed to stumps of wood. They stood all night in prayer, and in the morning they were pierced with spears. Saint Sebastian was the final one taken off to torture. The emperor Diocletian personally interrogated him, and persuading himself of the resoluteness of the holy martyr, he ordered him taken out beyond the city, tied to a tree and shot with arrows. The wife of the dignitary Saint Castulus, Irene, went at night in order to bury Saint Sebastian, but found him alive and took him to her home. Saint Sebastian soon recovered from his wounds. Christians urged him to leave Rome, but he refused. Coming nearby a pagan temple, the saint saw the emperors approaching there and he publicly denounced them for their impiety. Diocletian gave orders to remove the holy martyr to the Hippodrome (Coliseum) and there execute him. They killed Saint Sebastian, and cast his body upon the rubbish heap. The holy martyr appeared to the Christian Saint Lucina (Lucy) in a dream vision, and bid her take his body and bury it in the catacombs. And thus the pious Christian buried the body of the saint.
© 1996-2001 by translator Fr. S. Janos.
Mark 9:10-16
10So they kept this word to themselves, questioning what the rising from the dead meant. 11 And they asked Him, saying, "Why do the scribes say that Elijah must come first?" 12 Then He answered and told them, "Indeed, Elijah is coming first and restores all things. And how is it written concerning the Son of Man, that He must suffer many things and be treated with contempt? 13 But I say to you that Elijah has also come, and they did to him whatever they wished, as it is written of him. 14 And when He came to the disciples, He saw a great multitude around them, and scribes disputing with them. 15 Immediately, when they saw Him, all the people were greatly amazed, and running to Him, greeted Him. 16 And He asked the scribes, "What are you discussing with them?"
Hebrews 10:35-11:7
35Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. 36 For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise: 37 For yet a little while, And He who is coming will come and will not tarry. 38 Now the just shall live by faith; But if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him." 39 But we are not of those who draw back to perdition, but of those who believe to the saving of the soul.
1Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 2 For by it the elders obtained a good testimony. 3 By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible. 4By faith Abel offered to God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts; and through it he being dead still speaks. 5 By faith Enoch was taken away so that he did not see death, "and was not found, because God had taken him"; for before he was taken he had this testimony, that he pleased God. 6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. 7 By faith Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household, by which he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness which is according to faith.
#orthodoxy#orthodoxchristianity#ancientchristianity#originofchristianity#spirituality#holyscriptures#gospel#sacredtexts#wisdom
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2nd April >> Mass Readings (Except USA)
Good Friday
(Liturgical Colour: Red)
(There is no Mass today. The readings given here are used in the afternoon celebration of the Lord's Passion)
First Reading
Isaiah 52:13-53:12
The servant of the Lord, an expiatory Sacrifice
See, my servant will prosper, he shall be lifted up, exalted, rise to great heights.
As the crowds were appalled on seeing him – so disfigured did he look that he seemed no longer human – so will the crowds be astonished at him, and kings stand speechless before him; for they shall see something never told and witness something never heard before: ‘Who could believe what we have heard, and to whom has the power of the Lord been revealed?’
Like a sapling he grew up in front of us, like a root in arid ground. Without beauty, without majesty we saw him, no looks to attract our eyes; a thing despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering, a man to make people screen their faces; he was despised and we took no account of him.
And yet ours were the sufferings he bore, ours the sorrows he carried. But we, we thought of him as someone punished, struck by God, and brought low. Yet he was pierced through for our faults, crushed for our sins. On him lies a punishment that brings us peace, and through his wounds we are healed.
We had all gone astray like sheep, each taking his own way, and the Lord burdened him with the sins of all of us. Harshly dealt with, he bore it humbly, he never opened his mouth, like a lamb that is led to the slaughter-house, like a sheep that is dumb before its shearers never opening its mouth.
By force and by law he was taken; would anyone plead his cause? Yes, he was torn away from the land of the living; for our faults struck down in death. They gave him a grave with the wicked, a tomb with the rich, though he had done no wrong and there had been no perjury in his mouth.
The Lord has been pleased to crush him with suffering. If he offers his life in atonement, he shall see his heirs, he shall have a long life and through him what the Lord wishes will be done.
His soul’s anguish over he shall see the light and be content. By his sufferings shall my servant justify many, taking their faults on himself.
Hence I will grant whole hordes for his tribute, he shall divide the spoil with the mighty, for surrendering himself to death and letting himself be taken for a sinner, while he was bearing the faults of many and praying all the time for sinners.
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
Responsorial Psalm
Psalm 30(31):2,6,12-13,15-17,25
R/ Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.
In you, O Lord, I take refuge. Let me never be put to shame. In your justice, set me free, Into your hands I commend my spirit. It is you who will redeem me, Lord.
R/ Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.
In the face of all my foes I am a reproach, an object of scorn to my neighbours and of fear to my friends.
R/ Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.
Those who see me in the street run far away from me. I am like a dead man, forgotten in men’s hearts, like a thing thrown away.
R/ Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.
But as for me, I trust in you, Lord; I say: ‘You are my God. My life is in your hands, deliver me from the hands of those who hate me.
R/ Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.
Let your face shine on your servant. Save me in your love.’ Be strong, let your heart take courage, all who hope in the Lord.
R/ Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.
Second Reading
Hebrews 4:14-16,5:7-9
The Lord burdened him with the sins of all of us
Since in Jesus, the Son of God, we have the supreme high priest who has gone through to the highest heaven, we must never let go of the faith that we have professed. For it is not as if we had a high priest who was incapable of feeling our weaknesses with us; but we have one who has been tempted in every way that we are, though he is without sin. Let us be confident, then, in approaching the throne of grace, that we shall have mercy from him and find grace when we are in need of help.
During his life on earth, he offered up prayer and entreaty, aloud and in silent tears, to the one who had the power to save him out of death, and he submitted so humbly that his prayer was heard. Although he was Son, he learnt to obey through suffering; but having been made perfect, he became for all who obey him the source of eternal salvation.
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
Gospel Acclamation
Philippians 2:8-9
Glory and praise to you, O Christ! Christ was humbler yet, even to accepting death, death on a cross. But God raised him high and gave him the name which is above all names. Glory and praise to you, O Christ!
Gospel
John 18:1-19:42
The Passion of our Lord Jesus Christ
Key: N. Narrator. ✠ Jesus. O. Other single speaker. C. Crowd, or more than one speaker.
N. Jesus left with his disciples and crossed the Kedron valley. There was a garden there, and he went into it with his disciples. Judas the traitor knew the place well, since Jesus had often met his disciples there, and he brought the cohort to this place together with a detachment of guards sent by the chief priests and the Pharisees, all with lanterns and torches and weapons. Knowing everything that was going to happen to him, Jesus then came forward and said, ✠ Who are you looking for? N. They answered, C. Jesus the Nazarene. N. He said, ✠ I am he. N. Now Judas the traitor was standing among them. When Jesus said, ‘I am he’, they moved back and fell to the ground. He asked them a second time, ✠ Who are you looking for? N. They said, C. Jesus the Nazarene. N. Jesus replied, ✠ I have told you that I am he. If I am the one you are looking for, let these others go. N. This was to fulfil the words he had spoken, ‘Not one of those you gave me have I lost.’ Simon Peter, who carried a sword, drew it and wounded the high priest’s servant, cutting off his right ear. The servant’s name was Malchus. Jesus said to Peter, ✠ Put your sword back in its scabbard; am I not to drink the cup that the Father has given me? N. The cohort and its captain and the Jewish guards seized Jesus and bound him. They took him first to Annas, because Annas was the father-in-law of Caiaphas, who was high priest that year. It was Caiaphas who had suggested to the Jews, ‘It is better for one man to die for the people.’ Simon Peter, with another disciple, followed Jesus. This disciple, who was known to the high priest, went with Jesus into the high priest’s palace, but Peter stayed outside the door. So the other disciple, the one known to the high priest, went out, spoke to the woman who was keeping the door and brought Peter in. The maid on duty at the door said to Peter, O. Aren’t you another of that man’s disciples? N. He answered, O. I am not. N. Now it was cold, and the servants and guards had lit a charcoal fire and were standing there warming themselves; so Peter stood there too, warming himself with the others. The high priest questioned Jesus about his disciples and his teaching. Jesus answered, ✠ I have spoken openly for all the world to hear; I have always taught in the synagogue and in the Temple where all the Jews meet together: I have said nothing in secret. But why ask me? Ask my hearers what I taught: they know what I said. N. At these words, one of the guards standing by gave Jesus a slap in the face, saying, O. Is that the way to answer the high priest? N. Jesus replied, ✠ If there is something wrong in what I said, point it out; but if there is no offence in it, why do you strike me? N. Then Annas sent him, still bound, to Caiaphas the high priest. As Simon Peter stood there warming himself, someone said to him, O. Aren’t you another of his disciples? N. He denied it, saying, O. I am not. N. One of the high priest’s servants, a relation of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, said, O. Didn’t I see you in the garden with him? N. Again Peter denied it; and at once a cock crew. They then led Jesus from the house of Caiaphas to the Praetorium. It was now morning. They did not go into the Praetorium themselves or they would be defiled and unable to eat the passover. So Pilate came outside to them and said, O. What charge do you bring against this man? N. They replied, C. If he were not a criminal, we should not be handing him over to you. N. Pilate said, O. Take him yourselves, and try him by your own Law. N. The Jews answered, C. We are not allowed to put a man to death. N. This was to fulfil the words Jesus had spoken indicating the way he was going to die. So Pilate went back into the Praetorium and called Jesus to him, and asked, O. Are you the king of the Jews? N. Jesus replied, ✠ Do you ask this of your own accord, or have others spoken to you about me? N. Pilate answered, O. Am I a Jew? It is your own people and the chief priests who have handed you over to me: what have you done? N. Jesus replied, ✠ Mine is not a kingdom of this world; if my kingdom were of this world, my men would have fought to prevent my being surrendered to the Jews. But my kingdom is not of this kind. N. Pilate said, O. So you are a king, then? N. Jesus answered, ✠ It is you who say it. Yes, I am a king. I was born for this, I came into the world for this: to bear witness to the truth; and all who are on the side of truth listen to my voice. N. Pilate said, O. Truth? What is that? N. and with that he went out again to the Jews and said, O. I find no case against him. But according to a custom of yours I should release one prisoner at the Passover; would you like me, then, to release the king of the Jews? N. At this they shouted: C. Not this man, but Barabbas. N. Barabbas was a brigand. Pilate then had Jesus taken away and scourged; and after this, the soldiers twisted some thorns into a crown and put it on his head, and dressed him in a purple robe. They kept coming up to him and saying, C. Hail, king of the Jews! N. and they slapped him in the face. Pilate came outside again and said to them, O. Look, I am going to bring him out to you to let you see that I find no case. N. Jesus then came out wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. Pilate said, O. Here is the man. N. When they saw him the chief priests and the guards shouted, C. Crucify him! Crucify him! N. Pilate said, O. Take him yourselves and crucify him: I can find no case against him. N. The Jews replied, C. We have a Law, and according to that Law he ought to die, because he has claimed to be the Son of God. N. When Pilate heard them say this his fears increased. Re-entering the Praetorium, he said to Jesus O. Where do you come from? N. But Jesus made no answer. Pilate then said to him, O. Are you refusing to speak to me? Surely you know I have power to release you and I have power to crucify you? N. Jesus replied, ✠ You would have no power over me if it had not been given you from above; that is why the one who handed me over to you has the greater guilt. N. From that moment Pilate was anxious to set him free, but the Jews shouted, C. If you set him free you are no friend of Caesar’s; anyone who makes himself king is defying Caesar. N. Hearing these words, Pilate had Jesus brought out, and seated himself on the chair of judgement at a place called the Pavement, in Hebrew Gabbatha. It was Passover Preparation Day, about the sixth hour. Pilate said to the Jews, O. Here is your king. N. They said, C. Take him away, take him away! Crucify him! N. Pilate said, O. Do you want me to crucify your king? N. The chief priests answered, C. We have no king except Caesar. N. So in the end Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified. They then took charge of Jesus, and carrying his own cross he went out of the city to the place of the skull or, as it was called in Hebrew, Golgotha, where they crucified him with two others, one on either side with Jesus in the middle. Pilate wrote out a notice and had it fixed to the cross; it ran: ‘Jesus the Nazarene, King of the Jews.’ This notice was read by many of the Jews, because the place where Jesus was crucified was not far from the city, and the writing was in Hebrew, Latin and Greek. So the Jewish chief priests said to Pilate, C. You should not write ‘King of the Jews,’ but ‘This man said: “I am King of the Jews.”’ N. Pilate answered, O. What I have written, I have written. N. When the soldiers had finished crucifying Jesus they took his clothing and divided it into four shares, one for each soldier. His undergarment was seamless, woven in one piece from neck to hem; so they said to one another, C. Instead of tearing it, let’s throw dice to decide who is to have it. N. In this way the words of scripture were fulfilled:
They shared out my clothing among them. They cast lots for my clothes.
This is exactly what the soldiers did. Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala. Seeing his mother and the disciple he loved standing near her, Jesus said to his mother, ✠ Woman, this is your son. N. Then to the disciple he said, ✠ This is your mother. N. And from that moment the disciple made a place for her in his home. After this, Jesus knew that everything had now been completed, and to fulfil the scripture perfectly he said: ✠ I am thirsty. N. A jar full of vinegar stood there, so putting a sponge soaked in the vinegar on a hyssop stick they held it up to his mouth. After Jesus had taken the vinegar he said, ✠ It is accomplished; N. and bowing his head he gave up his spirit.
(Here all kneel and pause for a short time)
It was Preparation Day, and to prevent the bodies remaining on the cross during the sabbath – since that sabbath was a day of special solemnity – the Jews asked Pilate to have the legs broken and the bodies taken away. Consequently the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first man who had been crucified with him and then of the other. When they came to Jesus, they found he was already dead, and so instead of breaking his legs one of the soldiers pierced his side with a lance; and immediately there came out blood and water. This is the evidence of one who saw it – trustworthy evidence, and he knows he speaks the truth – and he gives it so that you may believe as well. Because all this happened to fulfil the words of scripture:
Not one bone of his will be broken;
and again, in another place scripture says:
They will look on the one whom they have pierced.
After this, Joseph of Arimathaea, who was a disciple of Jesus – though a secret one because he was afraid of the Jews – asked Pilate to let him remove the body of Jesus. Pilate gave permission, so they came and took it away. Nicodemus came as well – the same one who had first come to Jesus at night-time – and he brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, weighing about a hundred pounds. They took the body of Jesus and wrapped it with the spices in linen cloths, following the Jewish burial custom. At the place where he had been crucified there was a garden, and in this garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been buried. Since it was the Jewish Day of Preparation and the tomb was near at hand, they laid Jesus there.
The Gospel of the Lord
R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
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LIVING IN THE HOLY SPIRIT POWER AND HIS WORD
Our present situation in life whether filled with pains/sorrows/pleasures always remains the reason why we need to study God's word more so that we can connect to the word which the Holy Spirit will give us that will break this burden and limitations over our lives according to the correct interpretations and applications of the effect of Jesus death on the Cross and Resurrection in our lives as believers.
Let us not feel that we are offending anybody who encourages us to study our holy bible daily and engage the Holy Spirit in a quiet-time/prayers when we do not engage in this each day, we are not discouraged that you are not reading your bible, meditating upon it, believing it, applying it and using it because it is for your own primary benefit before it can benefit any other human being but only concerned that you might be presuming it is not the will of God for your present situation to be transformed to a higher degree of glory in Christ Jesus or blaming God for not answering your prayers while you have not made yourself available to the letters of the Word through which the Holy Spirit brings about His manifestations at His own appointed time thus
“But when He, the Spirit of Truth (the Truth-giving Spirit) comes, He will guide you into all the Truth (the whole, full Truth). For He will not speak His own message [on His own authority]; but He will tell whatever He hears [from the Father; He will give the message that has been given to Him], and He will announce and declare to you the things that are to come [that will happen in the future].
14 He will honor and glorify Me, because He will take of (receive, draw upon) what is Mine and will reveal (declare, disclose, transmit) it to you.” (John 16:13-14 ampc)
It is the word of God that you have studied that the Holy Spirit *uses effortlessly to disclose His revelations to our hearts* which releases POWER and INNER STRENGTH such that we engage in prayers and other activities of our lives with the CONFIDENCE AND CONVICTIONS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT not just mere human logical or intellectual reasoning.
OR
you have not learned to patiently and positively wait upon His own appointed time rather than *yielding your heart to grumbling and quarreling with GOD* thus
“Even youths(strongest/most-intelligent people in each society) shall faint and be weary, and [selected] young men shall feebly stumble and fall exhausted;
31 But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.” (Isaiah 40:30-31 ampc)
Cry out to God and ask HIM to *fill you afresh with the Power of the HOLY SPIRIT* like He poured out upon the 120 disciples on the day of Pentecost each second/moment/day/phase of your life because *it does not take a normal human spirit/reasoning to operate in faith based upon the finished works of Jesus Christ in this chaotic world filled with distractions and the influences of evil principalities and powers in the heavenly sphere* thus
“But you shall receive power (ability, efficiency, and might) when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you shall be My witnesses in Jerusalem and all Judea and Samaria and to the ends (the very bounds) of the earth.” (Acts. 1:8 ampc)
“And afterward I will pour out My Spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions.
29 Even upon the menservants and upon the maidservants in those days will I pour out My Spirit.
30 And I will show signs and wonders in the heavens, and on the earth, blood and fire and columns of smoke.
31 The sun shall be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the great and terrible day of the Lord comes.
32 And whoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be delivered and saved, for in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be those who escape, as the Lord has said, and among the remnant [of survivors] shall be those whom the Lord calls.”
(Joel 2:28-32 ampc)
“Hold fast and follow the pattern of wholesome and sound teaching which you have heard from me, in [all] the faith and love which are [for us] in Christ Jesus.
14 *Guard and keep [with the greatest care] the precious and excellently adapted [Truth] which has been entrusted [to you], by the [help of the] Holy Spirit Who makes His home in us*.” (2 Timothy 1:13-14 ampc)
It is only by the Power of the Holy Spirit which is also called anointing(filled with the mercy, grace, love and salvation) that we use to live by faith in Jesus Christ Crucified on this earth each second.
“In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides].
11 Put on God’s whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil.
12 For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere.
13 Therefore put on God’s complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place].
14 Stand therefore [hold your ground], having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God,
15 And having shod your feet in preparation [to face the enemy with the firm-footed stability, the promptness, and the readiness produced by the good news] of the Gospel of peace.
16 Lift up over all the [covering] shield of saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one].
17 And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit wields, which is the Word of God.
18 Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding on behalf of all the saints (God’s consecrated people).
19 And [pray] also for me, that [freedom of] utterance may be given me, that I may open my mouth to proclaim boldly the mystery of the good news (the Gospel),
20 For which I am an ambassador in a coupling chain [in prison. Pray] that I may declare it boldly and courageously, as I ought to do.” (Ephesians 6:10-20 ampc)
"For though we walk (live) in the flesh(human body), we are not carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using mere human weapons.
4 For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds,
5 [Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One),
6 Being in readiness to punish every [insubordinate for his] disobedience, when your own submission and obedience [as a church] are fully secured and complete." (2 Corinthians 10:3-6 ampc)
Great Grace Brethren!!!
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Wednesdays were her favorite.
The reveille rang loud for devotion. Definitive loud strikes of an iron rod on the rim of a car tyre by 5:30 every morning. The Christians amongst the girls had to fly out of bed and run out to the devotion ground for prayers. The matron, Mrs. Ajayi never missed the ringing of the reveille even by a minute and five minutes later, she would go around the dorm rooms waking with her switch those the reveille could not.
Ajoke was never a heavy sleeper. Most times, she woke up before the reveille sounded. She would say she was just wired that way but once or twice she had been awakened by the matron's switch.
Today, she was awake before the reveille sounded. She had had a nightmare. A hooded figure had tried to grab her. When it was time for devotion, she went out with the other light sleepers in her room to the devotion ground and sat on one of the pavements on the side of the ground before Mrs. Ajayi would come around with her switch. Her yawn was loud. She had not slept enough. Today was a Wednesday and she couldn't possibly go for Physical Education class feeling tired. She needed a cool bath.
Worship songs were led by two girls from SS2. Ajoke thought their singing was beautiful. Why not? They were both in the school choir. She sang along. Worship songs were the best thing about being a Christian in her opinion. She needed to pee. Her bladder was burning, but she could not bear to leave the singing behind.
The bathroom was dark and eerily quiet. The sound of her urine hitting the floor was like that of a broken tap. Ajoke kept looking downwards, her eyes following the trail of her urine flowing into the hole of the latrine. This kept the dream off her mind for a while. Strangely, she felt like eyes were focused on her neck. She looked up quickly. She saw the hem of a cloak float past the open door of the bathroom. She got up quickly to see whatever it was, but she saw nothing.
Back at the devotion ground, Ajoke was able to catch up with the last of the worship songs. Mrs. Ajayi then climbed the podium to pray. After the prayer, the reveille was struck again to signal that the few Muslim girls and those of other religions who would be through with their morning prayers, could join the others for announcements. All the girls would stand to face her to listen.
Mrs. Ajayi's announcement started with the usual "Girls of Imole Ayo Girls School, welcome to a new day. I hope you have all slept well? Today..."
The matron's voice became mute to Ajoke's ears. She had slapped a mosquito sucking blood from her calf and as she rose back up, she felt the urge to turn and look behind her. In the darkness, Ajoke saw a figure with a cloak that reached down to the ankles and a hood over its head, going into her dorm room. It looked very much like a human being, but she could not be sure.
Ajoke squeezed her way through the gathering and headed to her dorm room. "What could that be?" she said out loud to herself. "Is it the same thing I saw in the toilet?"
She entered the room, the pounding of her scared heart audibly echoing in it. Or was it just to her ears? The hooded figure was gone. Nowhere to be found.
She made the sign of the cross and began to pray. "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For thou art with me, Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me..." As she turned to go back to the gathering of the girls, she heard her name. She turned sharply like a springbuck taking a bend to escape a cheetah hunting it. No one was there but she could swear she had heard her name. It was like whoever or whatever had called her name had put it on a zephyr and pushed it past her ear.
"Ajoke". She heard her name again. This time around, it was louder than the first and she could swear the voice came from her corner of the room. She walked quickly towards her bed and saw a person seated on her bed. The cloak on the person seemed like it was floating and the hood was floating too but it covered the person's face completely.
"Excuse me please", She said with uncertainty in her voice. The figure turned to face her but there was no face under the hood. Where there was supposed to be a face, there was an empty pitch black space like a moonless midnight sky. It did not talk, it did not move anymore, the hooded cloak on it kept rippling on it's human shaped body like it had its own wind around it. From beneath the hood shone two bright lights the size of human eyeballs, in the place where eyes should have been.
Her roommates returned to the room noisily. Startled by their chatter, Ajoke turned to see her classmates come in. When she turned back to face her bed, the figure was gone. Where had it gone to? What was it? Had anyone else seen it? Why did it vanish when others came into the room?
* * * *
Ajoke wore her sport wear shirt while gyrating her hips and singing along to Angelique Kidjo's "Agolo" with her roommates on top of her voice. Her red and silver sport wear complemented her espresso brown skin perfectly. Her head was clear. Music was her best medicine.
She was always the last to leave the room. She was the room head and had the key in her possession so she had to leave last in order to lock the door.
At 7:25, she was the only remaining person in the room. Ajoke sat on one of the beds in the center of the room to tie the lace of her sneakers. As she bent to stretch her fingers to the laces, from thin air appeared ten mangled skeleton fingers which grabbed them before she could. She was jolted by the sudden appearance and when she looked up, it was the figure again.
"Let me help you with this" it said in a most terrible voice. It tied the laces into a knot and two loops, exactly the way Ajoke tied her laces into bows. She could not place its voice. It sounded like a man or a woman, more like both and then neither at once. It was terrifying.
Ajoke drew back with a loud exhale. The thing she had seen in her dream, the thing in the bathroom, the thing on her bed, there it was right in front of her.
She stood up and the figure straightened up from its bent position. It looked a little over seven feet tall and the cloak and hood it wore rippled around it gently. Its feet were not touching the floor, they were floating three inches above it and when Ajoke looked closely, she saw mangled skeleton feet where flesh was supposed to be. It still had the pitch black space under the hood and two bright dots she assumed were its eyes.
It hovered in front of her like an helicopter performing a drop off of soldiers. She tried to speak but the words seized in her chest, held up by invisible hands. Her mind was swirling and working as fast as it could to try to understand what was going on. "What is this thing? Why have I been seeing it?" she asked in her mind, which seemed like the only place at the moment where her voice could function. Her throat was dry and itchy and no matter how much she tried, no sound came forth from it.
"I get that most times" said the figure to her. Her face looked even more bewildered to hear the unplaceable voice once again. "Yes that look on your face, I always get that wherever I go. I guess the Creator made me like this to highlight the situation of my appearance". Ajoke's mystified face deepened and her eyes began to water from the effort to force her throat to create sound. "Oh! Your voice. I can handle that".
The figure raised its hand up making its cloak to drop to its elbow. Where there would have been an arm, she saw bones wearing oddly grey and badly decayed flesh which kept falling off from the bones. The skin however fell off but hovered close to the bones, then reattached itself back and continued the cycle. It stretched the decaying hand which surprisingly had no smell at all, towards her throat and gave a gentle wave.
Ajoke felt a rush of wind leave her chest through her throat, forcibly escaping through her open mouth. Her chest was hot and she felt steam flowing up through her throat. She coughed as though to test her vocality and sound finally came forth loud and clear.
"What are you?" she asked. It was the first question she could find after vigorously searching her brain.
"It is a question of what or who" it said, making one of the dots beneath its hood seem to go a little bit higher and grow slightly bigger than the other. She had the feeling that this thing, whatever it was, had raised its eyebrow to her - if it had any.
"Who are you?" she then asked.
"I am a personification. I am what people of your tribe call Iku. I am the personification of death."
Ajoke's eyes rolled furiously in their sockets. She felt like her brain was short circuiting at hearing such an incredulous claim. She had read myths and legends of various cultures and loved them all. From reading these myths, she had come across several mythical beings in whose existence she believed and marveled about. But why was a figure that matched the description of the creature that she had read of called the grim reaper - except that this one did not have a scythe, a face and smooth bare bones under its cloak - doing in her dorm room?
She drew back from the figure once more and this time, it did not bother to close the gap. She looked at it and saw that the place where a head would have been was slighty bent to the side like that of a person having deep thoughts. She tried to think of what this thing in her presence could possibly be thinking of - if it had a mind at all.
"Have a seat, Ajoke Ojokogun Oluwadamida" the figure said, gently and with the voice of a lover whispering entreaties to his lover. Ajoke sat on the bed closest to her and stared intently at the figure floating towards her. It floated closer and then bent to sit on the bed opposite hers. It however did not touch the bed, but appeared to be in a sitting position, still hovering.
Ajoke opened her mouth to speak, but "I know you have questions. It's almost time so now is the only opportunity you have to ask" the figure said before she could produce sound. Its voice was soft and friendly and had a great effect on Ajoke's tense body, making her to become calm even if she was unwilling.
She drew a deep breath, squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again. "Tell me the truth of whom or what you are. Who are you?"
"I am death. The personification of the entire idea of death you humans hold in fearful sentiment. " It said in its still still voice, unmoved.
"But how? How are you that?"
"Ajoke why do I taste fear and a little disbelief in your voice? How have you believed the myths and legends of this world and now try hard to disbelief when the truth has appeared before you?"
"No. I just... But I..." she struggled to answer.
"You do not have to answer Ajoke. Your fear, your fight or flight response to try to disbelief, it is all part of your being human. You humans believe in the unbelievable to find escape, but when faced with the truth and you find the truth scary and hard, you try so hard to forget that you believe. I do not blame you Ajoke". It said in a reassuring voice, surprisingly even more gentle than how it had been speaking.
"I just can't bring myself to believe that you are real, that this, this is real. It's unnerving."
"I understand Ajoke, I do."
"What exactly are you even? A man? A woman? Just a soulless being?" She asked, feeling surprisingly freer as the minutes passed.
"I am without a soul, both a man and a woman and neither of both. Even I cannot explain how this works to you. Only the Creator can. He made me."
"So the Creator, when you say Creator do you mean God?"
"Yes! The Creator is the God and maker of this universe. He made me, you, and all things here, therein and without."
"So you are a being without a soul, made by the Creator and given form to what? Harvest souls? Announce date dates? Transport the dead to the hereafter?"
"Well, that sums it up when you say it like that."
She wiped her now sweating forehead with the back of her hand. This information she was getting was too much for her to take in. Why would death come to visit her now? She was just sixteen, she had not lived a life yet, she had had sex only about five times. Why now? Why this early? Life was not supposed to be this cruel. Was this why her mother named her Ojokogun; the day is not long?
"What are you thinking?" the figure's genteel voice spoke and snapped her from her thought.
"Let me ask you this straight. You are here to take me aren't you?" she asked in a voice that sounded calm but still showed obvious signs of terrible fear and disappointment.
"Yes."
"Is that why my family named me Ojokogun? They knew I wouldn't last long?"
"Yes. Ojokogun, meaning the day is not long. It was a very brave thing for your parents to do. At your birth there was a speculation that you would die when you are sixteen and they accepted their fate and gave you that name. Very brave people i tell you, even if they secretly hope that it won't stand."
"And you are here now for me?"
"Yes."
"But I could almost swear that you sound disappointed to take me. The way you talk about how brave my parents have been, your gentle disposition, do you really want to take me?"
"This is the hardest part of my being; taking the young. It's never easy taking a child's soul. They haven't had a life yet and their time is already up. I may be death in person but taking the life of children, children who haven't even lived life at all is hard."
Ajoke thought she heard pain in its voice. The heat in her chest cooled down almost immediately. It didn't mean to come for her. It wasn't its choice. It had come because it had to. Because fate, nature and the creator had made it so. She would die at sixteen, die without having lived a life, die a child.
There was no turning back. Except by some heavenly intervention, her time was up. She had to accept this. Had her parents not accepted her fate from the beginning? Nothing could be done. Not now. This was how it had been written that she'd go. Visited by death and told straight to her face 'you die now'. The only thing that could be done now was to accept. To go without resistance.
She drew a long deep breath and closed her eyes. "So, I die now. I die today. Will it at least be painless? Will it be quick?"
"Yours will be like a long long sleep. You would not even notice."
"I feel at peace. Am I already dead?"
"Not yet, but soon."
"Alright then."
* * * *
She was laid on a bed, white and soft like fresh bread from the oven. The window was slighty open and the curtain fluttered noiselessly on the wall. The sun had risen and a few rays fell on her face through the window. If this was the afterlife, it seemed peaceful enough. Dying was not too bad after all.
"How is she now Nurse Chisom?"
That was unmistakably Matron Ajayi's voice. What was she doing here too? Had she been visited by death and brought to the afterlife too? And did the afterlife need matrons to watch over the younger dead?
"She'll be fine. She has stopped muttering incoherently in her sleep for now at least. She should be up any moment from now. But we should give her time" She heard Nurse Chisom say and then heard feet leaving the room or wherever it was that she was.
What was happening? That was the school nurse, Nurse Chisom's voice. What was she also doing here? Dead too? How would the school handle three deaths in a single day? But she had heard Nurse Chisom say she was muttering in her sleep. Sleep? She can't have been sleeping. She was dead. Visited by death and...
Wait! What had happened after her conversation with Death? Everything went black and she didn't feel a thing. It had promised her that dying would be painless and she wouldn't even notice. But she truly didn't notice anything from the moment their conversation ended. It felt strange. The afterlife felt strange.
"Look she's stirring. I think she's awake." It was Nurse Chisom's voice still saying she was sleeping. Didn't she not know the difference between sleeping and death?
"Hello Ajoke, how are you? How are you feeling?" Nurse Chisom who now appeared beside her bed, asked gently.
Ajoke turned to look at the face speaking to her. It was Nurse Chisom's face she was looking at. Strange. Beyond the face was the exact replica of the school clinic; neatly laid beds, the smell of disinfectant, various charts on the walls, a cabinet that held medications, three chairs and a desk.
"Where am I? Is this the afterlife?" Ajoke asked dreamily.
"The afterlife? What are you talking about? This is the school clinic my love, not the afterlife. Why would you think it's the afterlife?" Nurse Chisom asked perplexed.
"How did I get here?"
"Your roommates rushed you here immediately after devotion this morning. Apparently you screamed words they couldn't understand just before you fell to the floor and fainted. On getting here you were very still, lifeless even. If it wasn't for a steady thumping of your heart in your chest, you could have passed for a dead person. Your skin later became hot like something on fire and you kept muttering incomprehensibly in your sleep. But you're fine now. I need to go and inform the matron, she has been very worried."
The nurse left the clinic and shut the door behind her. Ajoke was alone in the room. This all felt wrong. If the nurse was correct, she had fainted after seeing the figure on her bed and was interrupted by her returning roommates. But she had seen the figure again, talked to it even. It was real. It felt real without doubt. It had said she'd die today. But if this wasn't the afterlife what did it all mean?
She rose up to sit. As she straightened up and faced the opposite side of the bed, her heart almost failed her as shock engulfed her entire body, crippling her with fear where she sat. There it was, the figure was hovering by the bed opposite hers and the two bright dots under its hood stared at her intently. She knew it. She was dead and this was just a confirmation. The nurse was wrong.
"Hello again Ajoke."
"Hello. It is you again. Is this the afterlife?"
"No it isn't Ajoke. This is your school clinic and no place different."
"How is that possible?" she asked, forehead furrowed and truly confused. "We had a talk. You said I'd die, that my time was up. How come I am still here? Did I die?"
"You will die Ajoke, just not today anymore. A day will come inevitable and irrevocable when you will surely die but for today, you are not dead and will not die." It spoke in a reassuring voice.
"But you sounded sure about it before. You were sure you had come for me."
"Ajoke, the ways of the Creator is that of never ending surprises. He does what He wants, when He wants, because He can. And today, He doesn't want you to die no more. You will have a life and die at a different time. Just not today."
Ajoke's body relaxed. The fear was gone. She wasn't dead. The air she breathed in seemed to taste like pineapples at the back of her throat. Someone had increased the quality of her vision in that she saw everything around her more clearly, in higher resolution. She gripped the bed and her finger sunk into its softeness like a knife sliding into butter. Being alive was sweet and she was truly glad to be alive.
"So I was dreaming when we had that conversation?" she asked, breaking the silence.
"You were here and there; the in-between. You were not dreaming. You were in the space between here and the hereafter." it said matter-of-factly.
"So I get to live a life?"
"Yes, you do."
"I'd see you later then." She said in a thankful tone.
"Yes, we will see later."
It floated closer to her and stretched its hand towards her. The terrible motion of falling and reattaching dead skin on its bones was still happening but she wasn't scared this time. It put its hand on her head and ran its hand through her braids like one would do a child. Her eyes were closed while it ran its hand through her hair. It was soothing.
"I'll see you later Ajoke."
She felt its hand leave her head and when she opened her eyes, it was gone. She felt good. The world around her was brighter. She would die but not today. She had a chance to live a life. She would start it by changing that strange name her parents had given her. This day would be a long one. Her day would be long and full.
The rays of the sun were even more soothing now. She could hear the ringing of the bell for assembly from a distance. The smile on her face was as full as a clear star studded midnight sky. This life was her gift and she'd live it fully.
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Omg HRH. Is it too soon to beg for another chapter? I mean I can get on my hands and knees. I need to know what Jamie does after that speech almost more than I need the next episode of outlander. Amazing writing as always.
I owe everyone who has kept up with this story a huge thank you for staying with me. The messages and comments about the last few parts have been absolutely incredible. Your love has been overwhelming and I can’t say enough how much I appreciate you.
Many thanks to @notevenjokingfic and @balfeheughlywed for all of their help with getting this world in order for Part XI. They helped me figure out what needed to happen for me to fall in love with this part. I hope you love it as much as I do. 💜 xx. K
Previously:
Part I: The Crown Equerry | Part II: An Accidental Queen | Part III: Just Claire | Part IV: Foal | Part V: A Deal | Part VI: Vibrations | Part VII: Magnolias | Part VIII: Schoolmates | Part IX: A Queen’s Speech | Part X: Rare
Her Royal Highness (H.R.H.)Part XI: Watched
Jamie Fraser was sure that he was breaking at least a dozen laws and workplace protocols by slipping out of the banquet hall, past a series of closed doors, and into the wing of the palace that contained the Queen’s private living quarters. But in that moment, buzzing from the exhilaration of her speech and that faint tip of her head, he would have happily spent a night or two (or a hundred) in some damp, drafty Scottish jail. If only to say that he had tried.
With a furtive look over his shoulder, he slowed his walk and began to test doorknobs. He searched for the slivers of light that indicated the existence of life behind closed doors.
He had collected the moments in which she was stripped bare (her admission that she wanted to touch him), felt the vibration filling his chest brought about by the mere nearness of her (the unique markers of their time together), and catalogued one of her breathy admissions (that she wanted his kiss, but only if he did it properly).
He needed more. Still. Even more so now having heard her address a room full of people about finding something rare.
He muttered to himself, his palms beginning to sweat as the end of the hallway came into sight.
Curses (ifrinn). Prayers (the ones he only said when he was in a bind, recalled from childhood).
But still more locked doors, more silence, unrelenting darkness.
In the end, Claire was tucked away at the end of the hall. Hidden in a room with the door partly ajar. He stood, grasping the doorframe and watching her, the relief of having found her making him woozy.
The notion occurred to him that it felt as though at least a year had passed since the lost moment they shared in the stables.
An opportunity that misfired. A faltering separation that felt like an untimely goodbye.
He had not really seen her since then.
Of course, he had just seen her at the dinner. He had played witness to her dressing down of Frank Randall and the finale of the part of her life that contained her engagement. Her speech, delivered to a room full of people, had been layered. Despite the presence of an audience, her confessions had been deeply personal (as if she unzipped her own skin at the centerline and crawled out of herself, glowing). It had been raw in a way that he was not sure anyone else there had grasped. But it had also been a message. An entreaty to him (James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser) to have hope. That all was not lost in the stable hay. That what it was between them had not dissolved into daylight at their parting. The message had dispatched with the slight tilt of her chin. In acknowledgment of its receipt, he tilted his head back.
And the change in her face (the firmness in the set of her lips slipping, the relief of exhaling a long-held breath) had been remarkable. That softness in her expression, as fleeting as it had been, had rekindled in him a dream that he had placed on a shelf in the back of his mind.
Her. Him. Them.
And then there she was in that dark room at the end of the hall.
And Christ was she ever beautiful –– her dark head bowed just slightly, arms spread wide to brace herself against the window sill, shoes abandoned and one bare foot peeking out from beneath her dress. Her back arched as she inhaled. The sound she made was deep, from her belly.
Relief tempered by exhaustion.
He was made a voyeur by the mere fact that he was frozen –– yearning to keep this moment for himself forever.
She rose to full height, eyes affixed on some unidentified point outside the window and beyond the horizon. She removed her rings, the frothy blushed champagne layers of her dress whispering over one another as she moved.
Every meaningless platitude (love will overcome) and canned speech (an expression of love) that he had written in his head fell away.
Claire. Just Claire.
One ring and then the other.
She turned from the window just slightly as she grimaced, twisting the ring on her left ring finger.
The newspapers had a field day when the Queen (the People’s Accidental Queen) deigned to wear a ring upon her engagement to Frank Randall. Royals did not belong to someone, the papers cried, with photographs of the ring peppering printing after printing. Now those some newspapers would undoubtedly have a tantrum in equal measure over the fact that she no longer wore that ring. They would smear her –– the end of an engagement, the flippant and foolish Queen.
Something told him that she no longer cared.
Her profile was illuminated with a halo of bluish silver –– her lower lip tucked between her teeth and her brow furrowed.
If there were words to describe her, he could not call them to mind in any language he knew.
English. Gaelic. French. Russian.
All of the pre-packaged sentiments with their practiced syllables were inadequate for her.
“Fuck,” she muttered. Something about her muttered profanity made him smile. She was unguarded, unaware. She was just being.
The ring finally slipping over her knuckle and off her finger, landing on the windowsill with a sharp clang. She sighed, turning back to face out of the window, her narrow shoulders folding in as she bowed her head again.
“Claire?” he started.
He had expected her to to startle (a small jump, a profane expression) at his unannounced appearance. Instead, she turned with wide eyes and whispered, “Fraser.”
A moment and then another.
He did not wait for an invitation before stepping into the room and drawing the door closed behind him.
“Jamie,” she said quietly, taking a single step towards him, pausing, and then taking another step. “I…” Her voice faded away, her lips melting into the slightest of smiles. “You came.”
“Of course I came.”
They each took another step closer, closing the space between them. He was close enough to see the lift of the tiny hairs on her forearms, the goosebumps, the rise of the delicate lines of her collarbones as she attempted to control her breathing, the layers of transparent fabric that laid one over another just just so that her dress was not sheer.
“I wanted you to come,” she confessed.
“I kent ye did.”
“I was worried that it was too late. That I had spoiled everything. That I––”
(he interrupted her –– Claire, not the Queen) ––
“and it’s no’ too late.”
It was a balm on her worry, but it did nothing to slow her pounding heart or even her breathing. Even if she had wanted to, she no longer had any capacity to choose to control herself around him. She had given that up with her confession, with her decision to rededicate (or to dedicate anew) herself to a life beyond the gilt cage in which her days had been structured by someone else on her behalf.
Suddenly, she needed him to know. To lay herself bare to him –– the messy parts and all. “The nights we have spent together have changed me. Fundamentally.”
“Aye. As they have me,” he responded quietly, fingers drumming a loose rhythm against his thigh.
To touch her, not to touch her. A wispy tendril that had loosened itself from her perfectly coiffed updo, hovering just over her temple. It curled around her face. The deep v of her dress ending between her breasts. A touch to interrupt the soft, pale skin of her mostly bared back. Testing the fluttering, diaphanous fabric covering her shoulders and arms. To find that her skin was his addiction, a habit to take up and let consume hime.
“You have changed me. Or perhaps you gave me the push I needed to find and prioritize certain parts of me.”
‘Touch her, you fool,’ his mind directed him.
He reached for the curl. Claire’s breath hitched, her breasts rising just slightly as she inhaled. One. Two. She held the breath in her lungs until it burned. Three. Four. His fingers moved down her jaw and she put her tiny fists to his waist, balling into the fabric of his kilt and drawing him closer. He resisted the urge to tell her that she was the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen.
Claire drew another breath and another, quivering as she fought the urge to turn into James Fraser’s hand, to let her eyes close and kiss his palm. “I did what I did, said what I said, not for you, but for us.”
A pause, her eyes on his. A breath and another. The vibration. It was not even close to last in the litany of admissions she had stored for this moment. She was stripping herself bare for him.
“I need to know what it is between us, Jamie. I have never…” Her fingers moved up his hip and she laid her palms flat against his stomach. “I have never felt this way before. And waiting here. Wondering if you would want me…”
“Would I want ye?” It came from his lips in a near bark, his surprise palpable. Her eyes widened, earnest and searching.
“Yes.”
“Claire, I dinna want ye. I need ye. I’ve never needed anyone before.”
She licked her lips and he saw her tears swell along her lower lash line. “It is not too late, then?”
In her adult life, her voice had never been as small as it was then. The question placed her dreams in the palm of his hand. (Those did not belong anywhere else, to anybody else; they were home now.)
He drew a breath at her question. He smiled with his answer. “No, it isna too late, and I’d still verra much like to kiss ye.”
Her reactions to his admission filled pages in a book (a memoir with chapters yet to be written) –– the tremble of her lips, the hitch in her breath, the way her eyes took on a glassy, aroused sheen. Light swirled like a whirlpool in her mind.
“Do it properly,” she mumbled, a slight smile touching her lips at the recreation of the moment in the stables. The words had run through her head a million times –– her response in the stables. They had run through his head at least as many.
His tongue was slow, sweeping his lower lip as his eyes focused on the top of her head. At his touch (an unexpected brush of fingertips over the backs of the hands that she had knotted into the front of his shirt), she let loose a quiet sigh and tilted her head to the side. Anticipating his mouth. A ghosted touch traveled over her narrow wrists, bare arms, the sloped curve of her shoulders, her throat, and jaw.
“This, though, willna do.” Her head pitched to the right as he removed the first pin from the careful assemblage of her chignon. The pin fell to the floor with a hollow ping. Her eyes fluttered closed, the moment blurring and becoming dreamlike. When he at least drew the lynchpin of the chignon, her hair tumbled down over her shoulders. “Mo nighean donn.”
“What?” she slurred, her eyes becoming slits just to look at him.
He captured a single loose curl and pushed it over her shoulder. “Basically it means ‘my brown-haired lass.’”
His gaze, blue and intent, made her skin feel too small to contain the feeling in her belly. He had peeled clean away the outermost protective layer of herself.
Armor, discarded to nothing. He would be her protection now, covering the parts of her that were vulnerable.
Disconcerted, she whispered, “I have always thought it was a dull color brown. My mom, my sister, my uncle… they were so blonde.”
“Not dull at all. Like the water in a burn.” Warm, his touch expanded across the bare skin of her upper back, drawing goosebumps to the surface everywhere. His head tilted ever so slightly to the side, fingers tangling in the curls at the nape of her neck. “Where it ruffles over the stones. Dark in the wavy spots, but with bits of auburn where the moonlight catches it.”
Her chin dipped ever so slightly, but he captured it between his thumb and forefinger.
Guiding her gaze back, he softly said, “Look at me.”
And she did.
For the first time, they were both entirely unguarded and unburdened. He could see her then. Her eyes were sweet, fragrant honeycomb cutting through biting, perfectly aged, oaky whisky. An amber pool in which he would gladly drown.
Unsayable things came to him. Things that he worried would frighten her off. (Now, forever, us, a dhia. Mo chridhe, my lass, my love, my life.)
Instead of speaking the endearments into existence, he allowed his lips to curve up. A smile. “In about a moment’s time, ye ken that we’ll no’ be able to go back to the way things were, Claire.”
The tremble in her lip. The little twitch at the corner of her mouth. The dart of pink tongue as she drew an anticipatory breath. The gentle arch of her body towards him.
“Yes, Jamie. I know.”
His name. It was as though he had never heard it before he heard it in that moment. The sweet cadence of her voice massaged it until it became neither a name nor a word, but a calling.
She continued, “I know, and I need never to go back there.”
It was as though the very crust of the earth vibrated beneath their feet then.
His fingers moved to the intricate lines of her delicate tiara as she readjusted just enough to hold onto his hips. Diamonds and sapphires caught light as he brought his fingers beneath the circlet in her hair. In the low light, prismatic shapes skipped and fell over wallpaper, danced down the front of her dress, and juddered over the narrow sliver of carpet between their feet.
She stepped forward just enough, her sigh was quiet and the catch in her breath signaling their joint tumble over the precipice. In his guts, he wondered if he was about to stop breathing altogether at the sight of her. Like she needed air, she needed his acknowledgment that things were going to be different. A huskiness overtook her voice as she recognized again the solemnity of the moment with a mumbled, “Of course you know that this will change everything, too, Jamie.”
“Aye, I ken, but I need it, too. Just as ye said. I canna go back to the way things were.”
And with that, he lifted the tiara fully from the tangle of her curls. His removal of the weight of it allowed her to take her first fully-formed breath of the evening. Eyes raked down her body as she took the tiara from him, discarding it to the floor.
“I’ve heard every word ye said tonight, Claire…” His voice trailed off, though he willed himself to speak again. “And when I kiss kiss ye, ken that I’m kissing you. Not the Queen.”
“Good.”
Neither would ever be able to identify who finally closed the gap. It was as it was meant to be. Neither made the choice. The universe did.
Bodies connected, his belly was warm against hers. The seam of them (the soft curve of her against the hard line of him) drew them closer than they had been before. The slight press of his arousal against her pinked her cheeks a glorious, springtime blossom of a color. He was unabashed, prepared for her to know everything of him. Everything that she made him feel –– in his heart, his head, his body. He tested the color with his fingers, basking in her reaction to him.
“I’m in love wi’ ye, Claire. Madly.”
He inhabited her space entirely, his hand on the fabric over her hip and his thumb inadvertently finding the soft swell of flesh there. The tip of his nose ran along her cheekbone and she felt everything but the mingling heat of their bodies dematerialize. On the tail end of a sharp breath, she confided, “I am in love with you, too. Irrevocably so.”
His left hand found her cheek, his wide palm along her jawline, angling her and urging her towards him.
Skin like pearl.
Her eyes closed, though she wanted to watch him. He was drinking her in, a storm darkening his eyes. She wanted to memorize every moment.
After only a shared breath more, her lips parted and his mouth was on hers. At first, the touch of his lips was a mere nuzzle. (Enough that she recognized that the wine on his lips and his tongue was the same that lingered on her own palate. Enough that her entire body responded to him.)
Rising onto tiptoes, her fingers curled into fabric and her body pressed into the hard curve of his chest.
Up, up, up.
Her calves ached as she arched herself higher as his hand found its way to her lower back, drawing her closer and closer. His mouth moved with certainty, as though it had been constructed from his flesh solely to kiss her.
She needed more of him.
His taste. His breath. His touch. His reactions.
She was alive and under a spell.
Needy, desperate. Dwelling in the conflagration. Burning, piercing need. Eternal.
She became liquid against him at the first swipe of his tongue –– sure, firm. Her heart went mad in her chest and she only faintly recognized the roar of thunder somewhere far in the distance. The sound that came from him met the thunder, magnified it, and made her belly clench. He tasted like rain that had not yet fallen and an entire future of doors to open. Together.
Her fingers found the soft skin beneath his jaw, holding his face gently as he eased back only slightly.
When she inhaled she felt at once young and ancient.
Carefree but knowing. Senseless and conscious of everything (all of his breaths and the guttural sound as he slows the kiss, the hammering of their pulses like the flicker of hummingbird wings just beneath the surface).
A moan rose in her, vibrating into the recesses of his mouth. He smiled again, mouth slowing as it curved against hers. Flat and unyielding, his tongue traveled one final time over hers. When their lips separated with a soft, wet smack, she kept her eyes closed. She could not force them to open. Frozen in place, she was woozy and painfully aching with the need for more.
To kiss him again. To have his hands explore with her dress and his kilt puddled at their feet.
“Ye look like ye’ve been stung by a bee,” he whispered before drawing her lower lip into his mouth. She would take more and more still.
And when they parted for the night with a promise to meet the next evening at the stables, she realized that the universe had been made for their eyes alone.
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