#and then it’s on to Jamie haunting the fuck out of his dad

[jamiesfootball]

I demand WIP quotes!

Here is a snippet from the next part of the loosely an AU horror fic, this part starring Sam:

I hope that when I am able to leave this place, you can meet my friend. I have been practicing your recipes, but it is not the same. I miss cooking with you, Daddy, and I would like my friend to believe me for once when I tell him that your cooking is not just better—it is worth living for.

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

I'm wondering if you would write either a Roy Kent x reader where they go to NY or Disney? I'm a big MT fan and a big Disney World/Disneyland fan

The Happiest Place on Earth

Roy Kent x Reader 1.5k words Warnings: Language

Ahh this was such a cute request! Roy at Disneyland would be the cutest, funniest thing. (And if there's any artists out there, I am begging someone to draw that grumpy man in some Mickey ears!!!)

I hope you like it! ❤️❤️

~

“Where the fuck are we going now?”

You rolled your eyes and grabbed Roy’s hand. “Small World. It’s got a short line right now,” you explained, weaving through the crowd. “And stop having such a good time, it’s embarrassing.”

A bunch of the staff and players for A.F.C. Richmond had decided to spend some of their off-season at Disneyland, and you’d somehow managed to convince Roy that it would be fun. However, you were pretty sure he only agreed to go because you were so excited and that the allure of Mickey Mouse and princesses and Star Wars had absolutely nothing to do with it.

“If that fucking song gets stuck in my head, you’re going to have to perform a lobotomy,” he muttered, earning himself a sharp look from you. “Sorry, sorry. Look, we’re having fun, whee.” He offered a smile that was really more than a grimace as you approached the ride.

You wrapped your arms around his middle, gazing up at him, all grizzled and handsome and brooding- and wearing a pair of Mickey ears he’d reluctantly let you pick out for him when you bought your Minnie Mouse ones. It was a nice sight- or at least it would be if he was smiling. His signature glower would probably scare more kids than any ride on the Haunted Mansion could.

With a sigh, you tugged on his leather jacket. “Aren’t you hot in this thing?”

Finally, a smirk. “You tell me.”

“Just get on the damn boat.” You chuckled as you approached the front of the line, which was even shorter than you’d expected.

The two of you settled into the back row of the little boat, joined by a father and son duo. The dad’s eyes lit up at the sight of Roy, and he leaned down to whisper something in his son’s ear. The little boy turned around, mouth wide, and waved at Roy, who gave a little growl of acknowledgement. The boy didn’t falter; instead, his smile widened, and he and his father exchanged high-fives.

As the little boat traveled around the world, you bounced your head from side to side and hummed along, enjoying the familiar warmth of Roy’s arm draped around your shoulders. When you snuck a glance at him, your heart melted a little when you noticed the corner of his mouth moving ever-so-slightly along to the words of the song.

Once the boat finished making its way through the tunnels, Roy nearly jumped out of the boat, turning around to offer you his hand as you climbed out. You glanced at your phone, debating what to do next. With a grunt, Roy nudged you. You followed his gaze to a passing princess.

“Hi, Snow!” you called good-naturedly, not caring that you sounded like a child and not an adult woman.

Snow White paused, smiling at you. “Hello there!” Her voice was high and sweet, like cotton candy to your ears. She pointed to Roy. “Oh dear, is something wrong?”

Roy’s face bore the same expression he wore anytime someone called Jamie his best friend. “What? No.” He was clearly holding back a “fuck” somewhere in there.

You giggled and nudged Roy. “That’s just his face.”

“Ohhh,” Snow White responded, nodding in understanding. “He’s like my friend Grumpy!” she chirped with a giggle. “He always makes a face like that too!”

Roy’s frown deepened as you laughed.

“Could we get a picture?” you asked, pulling out your phone.

Snow White turned to the cast member that stood next to her, who shrugged in response. “Absolutely!” she answered, fluffing out her yellow skirt.

You handed your mobile to Roy, who quickly snapped a picture of you and the princess. After he handed the phone back to you, you nodded to him.

“No fu-” He stopped as a small child crossed between you. “No,” he grumbled.

“Roy, are you going to disappoint a princess?” you reasoned, nodding at Snow White, who was ready for another pose.

With a heaving sigh, he went and stood next to Snow, looking more like an inmate on death row than a man on vacation. After a quirked eyebrow from you, however, he smiled- at least, his version of a smile.

“Have a beautiful day!” Snow White called over her shoulder as she continued on her way, probably heading to a well-earned break after walking around wearing that dress in the Anaheim heat.

You showed Roy the pictures and smirked. “So, all it took to get you to take a damn picture was mentioning the beautiful princess, hmm?”

Another one of those grumbling sighs escaped his lips. “I didn’t do it for fucking Snow White.” He placed his hand firmly on your waist. “Did it for you. ’Cause you’re my princess, or some shit like that.” His cheeks were tinted pink, a telling sign of his embarrassment.

Standing on tiptoe, you kissed one of those warm cheeks. “Well, guess that makes you more like Prince Charming than Grumpy, hmm?”

He gazed down at you with a smile- a real one this time- and shrugged. “Are princes allowed to be grouchy?” he teased.

You took his hand and continued your walk. “Oh sure. Haven’t you ever seen Beauty and the Beast?”

“So, I’m a beast now? Fucking thanks,” he muttered, kissing the top of your head.

“Hey, if it makes you feel better, I think the whole ‘giving her the library’ thing is like the hottest thing any Disney character has ever done.”

Roy rolled his eyes as Sam and Jamie walked by, leading a group of Greyhounds wearing Disney spirit jerseys and waving to us enthusiastically. “Your standards are far too high to be dating me,” he mumbled, greeting the guys with a nod.

You shrugged. “Guess you gotta step it up, Kent,” you shot back.

The two of you made your way to Space Mountain, the only ride Roy had named when you’d asked him what he wanted to do that day. As you waited in the futuristic hallways, you felt a pair of arms wrap around you from behind.

“Careful, my boyfriend used to be a professional footballer,” you joked, looking up and seeing Roy gazing down at you tenderly.

“Oh yeah? Is he big and strong?” he played along, his mouth ticking upwards.

You twisted around to face him, wrinkling your nose. “I guess. But you could probably outrun him, he’s got shit knees.”

Roy rolled his eyes. “I see he’s got a very supportive girlfriend.” He tilted his head down and kissed your lips gently. “Lucky bastard.”

With an eyeroll, you playfully shoved Roy away. “Alright, relax, there’s kids around, Kent.”

“One more.” He ducked his head again and pressed one more kiss to your lips. “You having a good time?” he asked, shifting to keep one arm around your waist as the two of you shuffled with the moving line.

“I am,” you assured him. “Not sure if you are though,” you admitted.

His thick brows furrowed. “What makes you say that?”

You shrugged, a little embarrassed. “I mean, you’re hard to read sometimes.” You reached up and used your finger to push up the corner of his mouth. “The whole brooding scowling thing is sexy and all, but it’d be nice to be able to see that you’re having a good time,” you joked.

“Hmmf.” Roy gave your hip a small squeeze but didn’t say much else for the rest of the wait.

As the two of you climbed into the rocket ship, you turned to face him. “You mad at me?”

He made a face and shook his head as he took off his ears. “You’re fine,” he said, his gruff tone assuring. He shot you a wink before you turned around to make sure your things were secure.

As the ride shot through the dark, you couldn’t help but hear something familiar over the music: Roy’s laughter. The sound was different than his usual snickers at Jamie’s expense or the huff of air he’d let out when watching Step Brothers. This laugh was loud and gruff, sounding like it came from the depth of his lungs. It was punctuated by a few hoots and hollers when the ride picked up speed or took particularly sharp turns. By the time you returned to the start of the ride, you couldn’t tell if your heart was racing from the ride or from how happy Roy sounded.

Just like with Small World, Roy quickly got out and reached down to help you exit the ride. He gripped your hand tightly as you walked away from the ride. Though you intended to keep walking past the ride photos, Roy tugged your hand, pulling you towards the screens.

“Roy?”

He jerked his head up towards the pictures. “Want me to buy you one?”

You looked up and stifled a giggle at what you saw. There you were, gripping the rail in front of you tightly, mouth wide open in a scream. More importantly, behind you was Roy, hands in the air and a giant smile filling his bearded face. It made your heart burst to see him so full of… joy.

When you looked back at him, he was putting his ears back on, smirking at you. “There. Can you tell I’m happy now?”

“Yeah,” you answered softly, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Absolutely. Now, can you go buy one? I’m putting that on my Christmas card."

[ojcobsessed]

Few actors have endured as fraught a journey as Oliver Jackson-Cohen. Few actors are more in demand than the star of The Haunting of Hill House and Jackdaw

by Maeve Ryan

OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN HAS been doing this a while. He decided to act at the age of six. Joined a theatre troupe and began to climb. He continued until university but didn’t get into any drama schools. Throughout our conversation, he tells me there were no signs pointing him in this direction, no surefire chance at success. But he’s found it, and then some.

He rose to prominence with his highly acclaimed portrayal of Luke Crain in Mike Flanagan’s The Haunting of Hill House. 

A character that battled a heroin addiction to cope with past traumas, though addiction was the least interesting thing about him. The show featured stars of the past, and launched new ones into the present, Oliver Jackson-Cohen being one of them. The role of Luke changed the course of his life – for more reasons than one. 

It was the first time in his life he no longer had to hide, he tells me. “I could be as fragile as I felt.” He took his newfound Netflix fame and began to carve a path that finally aligned with who he was, not who the world wanted him to be.

Now, he takes centre stage in Jamie Dobb’s new film Jackdaw. When he read the script, he thought he was the last man for the job. When Dobb explained the hyper masculine lead needed someone to bring softness behind it, he signed on.

Jackson-Cohen’s career, and presence, proves that the strength of a man lies in his ability to go beyond society’s standards. He breaks the stereotypes like bread over a long conversation in Soho. We discuss his entrance into the industry, facing traumas, and finding a safe place to land.

sm: What was the first movie you ever saw that made you want to act?

o-jc: Home Alone. I remember seeing that film and saying, oh whoa, so a kid can do this? I remember telling my dad, ‘I think I want to do that.’ I was six or seven. 

But it gets dark. So, my mum and dad’s house had a bay window that was on the street. And when I came home from school for a week, I just sat in the window thinking, any minute now, someone from Home Alone is going to walk past, and go, there’s a kid! Let’s get him! I was willingly wanting to get kidnapped. Which is so fucked. My dad came home and was like, ‘What are you doing?’ And then he was like, ‘Yeah, that’s not how that works.’

We found a theatre program – I started going there when I was eight. I was never the golden kid. In the drama clubs, I was always like the snake in the background. Or just the scenery. We used to put on terrible plays. I was such an insular kid. I found a safe place to feel where it’s real, but it’s not. So you can experience it all. I did that for three years, and then I was kicked out.

sm: What! Why?

oj-c: I had an attitude or something like that. I got suspended so many times. I genuinely was not looking for trouble. I was always the one to get caught. Like, I was the kid who someone handed the knife to, and I’d be standing above the dead body, and then the next thing I knew it was 20 years in prison. It was always stuff like that. But it was time to move on anyway.

I found this drama school at Riverside Studios. It was a small group, maybe eight or nine people. It was so interesting, because I’m going to do a gross name drop, but in the group was Carey Mulligan and Imogen Poots. It was incredible.

sm: Those were the kids that were just there? Did you have to audition?

oj-c: No, but I did a trial. It was a lot of devised stuff, like improv. A guy named Andrew Bradford ran it. He really supported kids. It was all day Saturday. We were all teenagers. It felt like another life. It grew and grew and by the time I left I was 17 or 18. It wasn’t one of those places that you were beaten down. No fake bullshit. It was a safe place to try stuff. We’d put on plays and we all got agents from that as kids.

sm: Is that the moment you look back on and think of as the beginning?

oj-c: I think so. But it was such a long period of time. Career wise, it was quite stagnant. I did one job when I was 15 that was some late night soap. Then I didn’t do anything until I was 18. I wasn’t like this is real until later. It started to snowball when I finished school. I went to get a French lit degree, hated it, dropped out, and applied to drama school. I didn’t get in anywhere.

In the meantime, there was a job at the BBC for a silly period drama. I did that, took the money, and went to do a foundation in New York at Strasberg.

sm: Tell me about the audition for drama school. You didn’t get in anywhere?

oj-c: Yes. I’m telling you there were no signs that pointed to me saying, yeah, you’re quite good at this. It felt like everyone was saying, ‘don’t do it.’ Which is a really interesting place to start from. If no one around me believes in me, how do I? And I just keep going? It was a mix of delusion and stupidity.

sm: Did you think about doing something else?

oj-c: When I was still in high school, I worked as a runner on productions, mainly at the BBC. I was revolving through that so when I finished school, that was kinda my job.. I got to see the inner workings of how sets worked, rehearsal periods. I got to see the writers and the actors, how they would construct a joke, and adjust things.

When I was 17, I started doing the European Music Awards. I would go and work in the costume department, I didn’t fucking know anything about how to sew on a bun but it was amazing. I got such a solid understanding of how a production office works, how a schedule works.

Tragically, you see a lot of how an actor is a small cog in this machine. Everyone is working so diligently. This whole idea of superiority that can go on, it was important for me to witness early on. Because when you go onto set and someone says five minutes, it actually means five minutes. But it was also hard because I was watching people do what I love. I didn’t get into school, so I said fuck it, I’m gonna do a foundation for a year and reapply to drama school from New York.

sm: Why choose the Strasberg program?

oj-c: Someone told me about it. I thought I needed to go do something that gives me a playground, a space in the meantime. But when I got there, I was with this small agency, and they started sending me out on auditions. The first or second one I went on, they flew me to LA to do a screen test and I got it. This was six weeks into the program. I was like: what do I do?

sm: What did you decide?

oj-c: There were three or four movies I got, but then the financial crash happened and it all fell apart. So I went back to New York to continue with the program. But meanwhile, I had been signed to WME and my agents were like, let’s go down the studio route because that’s going to be fun. I got an audition for this Drew Barrymore movie, got that, and then I dropped out. Then got another job that moved me to LA. I was there for a year shooting and doing the prep for that.

The whole idea was that I’d do that and reapply to drama school. Then I kept on booking. It’s only in the past couple years I was like, thank fuck I didn’t stop. There were moments that I thought I needed to stop and do three years of training.

sm: Did you feel like you were missing something that other people had?

oj-c: I felt like I was back-footed. Like I had no idea what I was doing, then I realised no one does. There is no arrival point where you’re like, ‘I know how to act!’ A lot of it was becoming comfortable with learning and making mistakes. Some will hurt and some don’t matter.

sm: So you start booking jobs, and then it just keeps going? No break?

oj-c: There’s obviously periods where you’re out of work. Or you really want a job and you do 50 auditions for it and you don’t get it. A lot of that went on. But I was 22. I ended up staying in New York until I was 28. I felt like a deer in the headlights. I was just so grateful that I was working and that people wanted to hire me that I never stopped to ask if it was actually fulfilling.

I listened to a lot of people early on. I needed guidance. I needed someone to say, do this job, this will lead to this, or it’s important you work with this person. Then I woke up one day and was like, is there anything here that I’m actually proud of?

That comes with experience and maybe a little bit of delusional confidence where you go, I think I want to try and do something here that is more aligned with me. It was a weird time to be in LA. I’m six foot three. I look a certain way. People wanted the product. I thought that was how I’d get there. I’ll pretend to be confident, I’ll be a version of what these people want. Keep my mouth shut and pretend. I reached a point where I was like, I cannot keep going this way.

sm: Did you feel that you’d abandoned yourself? Or was it a slow realisation?

oj-c: It became harder and harder to pretend to be this chill guy. I’m not chill. But when you’re handed something, you go, this is fun. Then the more you read and become accustomed to the environment you’re in, you start to feel entitled to have an opinion. To feel entitled enough to say: I actually don’t like this, I actually find this quite soul destroying. Having to make myself small, or block myself off and not be as vulnerable as I feel. To not show that.

It was an interesting time – in the late 2000s, men were men and what I was being asked to do was be an idea of what a tall, white, masculine man was that sort of never really sat. I actually feel really fragile. So I took a break for six months. I was like, I’m just going to say no now and try to re-shape the direction of what I want to do. Then The Haunting of Hill House came along.

sm: How did that audition happen?

oj-c: I’d done a film with the producer before. They sent me a conversation that happens in the show between Luke and his twin sister, it was him asking her to get him drugs. They asked me to read that and literally the following day, they called me and were like yep, you.

means something to people. It was an amazing thing to be a part of.

sm: Did you immediately recognise that Luke was the kind of character you were looking to play on the page?

oj-c: Sort of. If I’m honest, I did quite a lot with the role. Mike was very open to collaborating. I put a lot of stuff in there that wasn’t necessarily there originally.

All of the siblings were there but they were sort of blank canvases for anyone to put whatever they needed to put in it. We all came in and made bigger choices to create this family dynamic. They brought on this incredible writer, Scott Kosar, who wrote The Machinist, to tackle the Luke character because he was in recovery at the time.

sm: The writer was in recovery?

oj-c: Yes. He tackled all those monologues about staying clean and everything. That was him. You know, you’re talking about a family that lived in a haunted house, that’s sort of a silly premise but all the substitutions that everyone did, it was all about trauma. Living and being followed by things unless you face them. 

sm: What did you bring to the Luke character that wouldn’t have been there if somebody else played it?

oj-c: Someone else would have brought something amazing to it. But Mike Flanagan had so many tapes come through of people playing the addiction, and you can’t play the addiction. When I first looked at Luke I was like, okay, he’s a heroin addict, but then I was like, actually, to put a label on that, to label him, does such a disservice.

So it became about what he was running from, and what was terrorising him. For me, it became about childhood sexual abuse. How do you escape this thing you don’t want to feel? And if you can’t keep it at bay, it will take over. It became about that struggle, not ‘I need my fix.’ It became about this terrorising thing that’s always present, which translates into the show. We all have things that follow us. It became about trying to humanise it and make it real by using that as a way in.

sm: You’ve been open on social media about the sexual abuse you faced as a child. How did you navigate acting something so close to home?

oj-c: I’m of the school of thought: use whatever is real for you. That’s why I do the job. A lot of us use our own personal experience, but we bring it to a safe space where it’s okay for us to experience it. In a way it calls for that, and it felt important to do for the show.

I come back to this idea of needing to stop and reassess what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, and what I wanted to say in the work that I do. I felt like I couldn’t keep hiding. We’re all complicated, we’ve all had complicated upbringings. That’s just part of life. It’s unfortunate, but it’s sort of always going to be a mess. I needed to put everything that I felt into something. I do that all the time.

We use the parts of yourselves. Including the darker parts, and some of the stuff we don’t want to look at. I’ve never been one of those people to go half on something. You either do it or you don’t. There’s no middle ground. I’m not going to half step in, or pretend.

sm: Did you have any practices while filming to help you not carry the hurt from that world into your own?

oj-c: What was interesting was that all of that sadness was in there anyway. I wasn’t generating any of it, I was just opening it up. I didn’t whip myself up into a frenzy. It just felt like I didn’t have to hide, or pretend it wasn’t there.

sm: Would you say acting has been healing for you?

oj-c: I don’t think the word healing is correct. But it’s been incredibly helpful in helping me understand myself better. It’s probably not the healthiest but I’ve said this before, I feel like I need the job to lay out all my neuroses and vulnerability. I keep myself so closed off in real life. It’s an outlet that feels necessary. That’s why I go off to work every couple days.

sm: You are cast in a lot of thrillers and horrors. Why do you think you mesh well with that genre as an actor?

oj-c: You know, after I did Haunting of Hill House, it was sort of this big thing where the amount of horror scripts that came through was crazy. The amount of, ‘do you want to play a drug addict?’ It’s incredible how desperate people are to put us into boxes.

After Hill House, I did The Invisible Man. That was a horror but the messaging - we’re talking about gaslighting, we’re talking about toxic relationships to an extreme. It was so much more than a scary film. It felt like it had something to say. That’s the thing about horror. When it’s done well, it’s incredibly impactful.

sm: After Hill House, did you feel you had agency when choosing your roles?

oj-c: To a certain extent. But no matter where you’re at: the job you want, they don’t want you. You can be Julianne Moore, but they’d rather have someone else. It’s constant. But it did change quite a lot. In terms of becoming Netflix famous, which is the strangest, most intense thing ever because you’re the most famous person on the planet and then something else comes out. I felt like I was in a fortunate space where I could choose more, but there were films that I really wanted that I didn’t get.

sm: I heard that when you first read the Jackdaw script, you didn’t think you were right for the role?

oj-c: Yes. I called the director Jamie Childs and told him he was nuts. Because again, here’s this hyper masculine man that felt quite robotic on the page. I met Jamie on the set of Wilderness. He was telling me, ‘I’ve written this movie. I’d love to get your feedback on it.’ So I read it. It was still an early draft. Then he said, ‘Do you want to do it?’ I genuinely thought I wasn’t the right fit. I thought it was just out of convenience that he wanted me.

He said to me, ‘It needs someone to come in and make it human. To give it vulnerability.’ He said the film is about how this man readjusts his life following the death of his mum, and I was like, sold! You need some tears? I’ll bring you tears! I’m never leaving my sad boy era. It happened so quickly. We wrapped Wilderness, and then started filming three and a half weeks later. We were up north in January.

sm: You go swimming in the North Sea quite a bit in the film…

oj-c: Oh yeah. It got to like minus nine. It ended with me getting hypothermia. I think I’m a bit too delicate, that’s why. I had this amazing stunt guy called Jamie Dobbs who’s this gold motor-cross champion, and we had to shoot all this stuff of us in the night. They’d get me on a rig, and then they’d get Jamie and it got to minus 12. He got frostbite on his face. It was unbelievable. It was all night shoots. I am so surprised we all made it out alive.

sm: Had you ever cold plunged before?

oj-c: Not at all. I’m one of those people in August that’s like, I don’t know if I want to go in the sea, it looks a bit cold. We did three days on the water. Some of it was in a kayak. The underwater stuff, that’s where it got brutal. We were all eating every 25 minutes because we were so cold. There was a boat just for food. I couldn’t name one thing we ate. It was just fuel. We were going to work at 5pm, and then wrapping in the morning.

sm: Do you often try new things on film sets that you’d never do otherwise?

oj-c: Yes, all the time! That’s part of the allure of it. You get to learn all these weird things that you’d never do. You get to experience these amazing things. I’ve been doing this for so long, because I’m 150 years old, and someone will bring something up and I’ll be like, oh I’ve done that! But then I’m like wait no I didn’t, the character did.

sm: Was there anything else you learned on the set of Jackdaw? Motorcross?

oj-c: Yes! I fucking loved it. If I’m honest, a lot of it is me jumping on and starting up and then getting out of frame. Insurance-wise, I couldn’t do any of the jumps or anything. But it is so great. There is nothing quite like it.

sm: Do you ever think you’ll get into the writing side of film?

oj-c: I have. I just don’t know what I have to say yet. Everyone reaches a point where they think, I don’t want to forever be a product. It would be nice to be part of the creative. I have a lot of opinions.

You go into a job with the best intentions. This is what they’ve told us, this is what’s been sold and then you’ll see the final product and be like: that’s not at all what I thought it would be. The more you do it, the more you feel like you know what you actually like and what you want to be part of. I’ll get to it at some point.

Jackdaw is in cinemas now.

[babytarttdoodoo]

kind of a rouge prompt idea but “i just told a story at work about my childhood that i thought was really funny but now everyone is super quiet and someone said i’m so sorry” but it’s jamie + the team edition. like he talks about a traumatising James Thing and has no idea how horrifying it is until they’re all like …… wtf

love your writing! <3

Thanks for the prompt (and the lovely compliment)!

I’ll preface this by saying I have next to no knowledge of dentistry and you should not assume any medical assertions made here are correct.

((I also feel like I should add that I finished this one off while more than a little tipsy.))

Enjoy the himbo chaos.

(Prompt Fill Masterpost)

—

“Ay, dios mio, it was terrifying.” Dani put an emphatic hand to his chest. “Earl. He still haunts me.”

“Thought you were over that, bruv.” Isaac frowned up at him from his usual spot on the locker bench.

“On the pitch, yes. But at night…” Dani shook his head mournfully. “I have dreams of being chased in the dark. I know it is him.”

“I used to have dreams like that.” Colin piped up, pausing in tying his laces and looking haunted. “‘Cept it was my nana chasing me, on her mobility scooter.”

A few people sniggered and Isaac clapped Colin’s shoulder. “That’s fucked up.”

“I never remember my dreams,” Sam mused. “But I have always been a very deep sleeper. My father says I was the envy of all other parents when I was a baby.”

“I have only ever had one nightmare.” Richard declared. “All of my beautiful little teeth fell out of my mouth and I was ugly. Who will kiss me if I have no teeth?”

“Who’s losing teeth?” Jamie asked, joining the conversation from the doorway with a furrowed brow.

“We are discussing nightmares,” Jan explained matter-of-factly, then turned back to Richard. “Dreams about losing teeth are commonly attributed to stress.”

Jamie shook his head, still looking confused.

“Nah, don’t get that one, mate. Your dentist can just stick ‘em right back in, can’t they?”

That sparked a round of horrified protests and Jamie flapped his hands like a conductor to quiet the rabble.

“Eh, eh, I’m right!”

“Actually…” Sam held up his phone, open on an NHS webpage. “Jamie is correct.”

The locker room erupted into disgust and outrage while Jamie grinned smugly and tipped his I,COG cap to Sam for the assist.

“Hold on, how did you know that?” Isaac demanded, staring at Jamie like he had two heads. That quietened the team a little as heads swivelled in Jamie’s direction.

“Knocked two of ‘em out when I were, like, 10.” He shrugged and tapped a fingernail against one of his front teeth in demonstration. “Mum’s friend were a dental nurse. Told her to put them in some milk and take me to hospital.”

“You were very lucky.” Sam commented, still scrolling through the information he had found. “A significant gap in your teeth can lead to premature ageing.”

“And what a tragedy that would have been, eh?” Jamie beamed, gesturing to his face. “To think I might have deprived the world of this top tier mug.”

Other players groaned and laughed, a few tossing socks or discarded shirts in Jamie’s direction while he ducked, sniggering.

“How do you know they gave you your real teeth back?” Bumbercatch questioned, with an air that suggested great suspicion of the dentistry profession as a whole.

Jamie considered that. “Fair point,” he conceded. “They feel like mine, though.”

“Wait, how do you even manage to lose two teeth at once?” Colin interjected, muffled by his fingers as he prodded his own mouth in confusion. “I’ve never lost any after my baby teeth.”

“Took a snooker cue to the face.” The team winced as a collective and Jamie nodded sagely. “Were pretty grim. Blood all over the pub floor and everything.”

“You were 10?” Thierry clarified, face scrunched up. “Do kids normally get into bar fights here?”

“Well, yeah, s’pose not.” Jamie shuffled in place, suddenly looking a bit uncomfortable. “Weren’t a fight so much. Dad took me in to watch a match and it all kicked off a bit.”

An uneasy quiet overtook the general hubbub and more than one face went stony at that revelation.

“Mate.” Jeff looked like he’d rather not be the one probing further, but had bitten the bullet anyway. “Your, uh, your dad wasn’t the one with the pool cue, was he?”

“Eh…” Jamie glanced around the room before answering. “Well, yeah. He was. But I’m, like, 90% sure it were an accident.”

Chaos detonated like a bomb.

Isaac and Richard jumped to their feet, one cursing in French, the other demanding to know how long it would take to get to Manchester. Colin seemed to be googling train times.

Dani had taken to rifling through his bag, looking for god knows what, and Thierry was strapping on his mask like it was war paint (he didn’t even need it anymore, he just liked looking scary).

Jan was a terrifyingly silent pillar in the middle of the storm and Sam… Well, Sam looked like he had been gutted.

“OI!” Roy’s bellow commanded immediate silence, players freezing mid-shout. He was framed by the door to the coaches’ office, arms crossed and typical glare set in place. “What the fuck is going on out here?”

“Close ranks!” Jamie all but squeaked, invoking a hallowed, sacred vow from the team to collectively shut the fuck up.

All eyes turned to Issac who, as captain, had the final say.

On balance, he decided it was probably best that their new manager didn’t get arrested for murder before the season even got underway.

“Agreed.” he finally acquiesced and the whole room affirmed their compliance sullenly. It just wasn’t worth the forfeit to cave in under Roy’s (very effective) glare.

“... right then.” Roy finally allowed, still looking at them all suspiciously. “Then get out on the pitch and stop wasting our time.”

Everyone clamoured towards the tunnel, eager to escape the intense atmosphere. All except Jamie, who was still hurriedly pulling on his kit.

He tried not to seize up when Roy sidled over.

“You’ll tell me later.”

It wasn’t phrased as a question and Jamie knew better than to take it as one. He slumped in defeat.

“Yeah. Probably.”

[artsninspo]

“RESENTMENT”

Summary: Jamie needs a favour from his ex-girlfriend while in a pinch. What follows is angst and a conversation governed by history and bittersweet memories.

Author's Note: Original angsty piece for Jamie and the reader.

Pairing: Jamie (Topboy) X Reader

TW: Mentions of miscarriage

Word Count: 1.5K

Being the missus of a roadman is a rewardless position. The lies and cheating aren't even the worst of it. You live under constant threat because of your connection to a man that isn’t even around that often. If the threat to your own person isn’t peril enough, the threat of losing the man you love to the violence of the roads is sure enough. It does something to you, and it isn't nice. It's like every argument, every issue, every boundary is thwarted because time is limited. Because you're haunted by the what if. What if tonight's the night he doesn't come home. It's even harder because this was never Jamie's future plan. He wanted to continue studying business - legitimately. He never wanted to carry weapons, sell drugs and take lives. But somehow the memory of the fun loving boy could no longer keep you. As he got deeper into the game, you found yourself drifting further and further away. Then sex was the only way you found yourselves connecting, everything else was arguments. When you ended things at first he laughed vowing to give you time. Then after two weeks of fortitude he grew resentful and started acting like a single man. It was the last straw and the final nail in your relationship's coffin.

You squint at the security monitor as you see Jamie outside, you check your phone to see five missed calls and roll your chair back. You lock your workstation and head out to the main entrance, your heels clicking against the tiled floor. Pulling your blazer closed you push open the office's side doors. Your brows ask him what he’s doing here before you even speak. His eyes scan your pencil skirt, blouse and blazer. He smirks in spite of his stress.

“I need you to look after Stefan, Aaron’s studying and I’m afraid Stef’s going down the wrong path.” he states and it's your turn to look him over. He’s visibly exhausted and by the swelling of his brow he’s been in some kind of altercation.

“For how long?”

“What do you have visitors coming by? Stef will cramp your style?” Jamie snaps being confrontational.

“I’ll need to pick him up from school won't I, and drop him off - I’ll need to make arrangements at work” you explain not opting to argue.

“Y/N?” he starts 

“Jamie, whatever it is, sort it out. I want no involvement” you sigh wishing things were different.

“I have a storage unit, where I kept the things of my parents I couldn't throw out. There's an old canvas bag in the large purple luggage. It has fifty bags. If anything happens to me take care of my brothers with that” his words cause overwhelm. You can feel your face grow hot and tears threaten to well. 

“Is there a key or something?” you swallow determined not to break.

“Code, it's your birthday - day, month, year” he reasons like it's supposed to mean something. Like it's supposed to mean as much as him leaving the life. You fill your lungs with a deep breath wondering when love  stopped being enough.

“Fifty bags is enough to start fresh” you mutter. “You could go abroad and finish your degree with all your experience and you would be so successful. You could keep your brothers safe on your own and live a good life without looking over your shoulder” You repeat the same plea that has fallen on deaf ears so many times before.

“I can’t run,” he responds again.

“So what are you going to do risk your life, hide your wealth, stress, fuck around and piss your brothers off for the rest of your life?” you ask.

“What are you gonna do? Keep pretending that you don't love me? Work long hours for modest pay. Date respectable lads that mum and dad approve of, but bore you half to death and repeat the monotony until you're old and grey?” he retorts.

“YN?” you hear and turn to see Ray, one of your colleagues in the doorway looking concerned. He’s something of a work husband. Older, maybe near forty, fit, handsome and charming but not in a sleazy way. “You alright?” he asks.

“She wouldn't be out here if she didn't know me or want to talk to me” Jamie says with cheek.

“I’m fine Ray” You nod, giving him a smile that is returned as he heads back in.

“Ten days, I need you to watch them for ten days” Jamie clarifies finally after too much irrelevant chatter.

“That's fine”

“Thank you” he says, strained.

“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for them” you specify and Jamie swallows.

“Maybe you can save one of us,”  he nods, pulling on his hood as he walks back to his car. You have half the heart to follow him in to try to convince him there's better for him. You curse yourself as you step forward pulling your jacket closed to weather the wind as you make it to his car. You get in the passenger seat and Jamie's eyes are exhausted.

“You don't get to just come here and dump the possibility of you dying on me. You can't just leave me with the responsibility of your brothers” You snap and he shakes his head.

“You’re the only person I know that can do it properly and that Stef and Aaron love and respect” he snaps.

“Jamie” you whisper as your head and heart battle between leaving and trying to reason with him. “You would never let me go if I did what you're doing now” you reason and he sighs putting his head back against the seat in frustration. “You’re enough, we’re enough we have enough” you snap as the tears begin to stream down your cheeks. “Don't you think we deserve more than you leaving us. Especially Stef and Aaron they’ve already survived enough”

“Y/N I should have left when you asked me the first time. There’s no running now. I can’t run from it”

“Jamie, I was pregnant. I was pregnant and I lost the baby because of the stress. That day I went to the hospital for bad cramps. That's what they told me happened.” you sniffle and his eyes go to your stomach. He’s him again and not hard and detached. The emotions roll in fast. He nods looking straight ahead as tears well into his eyes. A few fall before he wipes them away.

“Why didn't you tell me?” he sniffles.

“I lost faith in you, in us … I wanted to be angry. I wanted an out” you whisper. “I knew if I told you, you’d be there for me and I’d be in it. But it wouldn't last. God forbid it happened again.” you confess as his tears subside. He looks you over with red eyes and resentment. We watch each other like strangers for what feels like minutes in silence, trying to make sense of the people in front of us - so far from who we once were.

“Maybe everyone is better off if I’m gone then” he mutters.

You look him over drawing in a deep breath, you'd beg if you believed it’d have some kind of impact.

“I’ll look after Stef and Aaron” you concede reaching to unlock his door.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m sorry about our baby” he apologises. You’ve already had your time to reconcile your loss and the reality of losing Jamie in your life as a friend, partner and eventual father of your children.

“Jamie, you know what I pray for?” you ask, turning back to him. He holds your gaze but doesn't respond, too raw with emotion to welcome more revelations. “I pray that in like sixty years I’m somewhere with other really old people and you're there” your voice cracks as tears well. “And you're fat, wrinkly, grey and balding” you pause trying to contain your emotions. “And you have kids and grandkids and you’re happy and you’ve had a full life” you break. When the tears have stopped clouding your vision you see Jamie’s broken too.

He resents you for leaving, for starting a life without him and not looking back, for dreaming of a future without him when he starts every day with regret the moment he opens his eyes and your side of the bed is empty. He’d never pray for sixty more years of life without you.

“I have to go,” he says finally. You force your heart to accept the absence. To accept the reality that this could be the last time you see him. You steel yourself against breaking and falling back into old patterns.

“Take care” you sigh.

“‘I love you,” he says, choosing truth over resentment. It's a hallmark of growth.

“I love you too Jamie” you respond, making him smile. It's been months since you've said those words.

You'll always love him.

_______________

PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO LIKE, COMMENT AND REBLOG. Let me know if you enjoyed this piece :)

[hopefulromances]

maybe prompt 43 “You always come here when you’re upset.” with jamie? like him and reader have known each other for a long time and she follows him throughout his career and he goes to one of their favorite places maybe either after jamie has his encounter with his dad or something that happened to the reader and she goes that somewhere instead? (and my pronouns are she/her) also i love your writing so much it’s amazing

Thank you so much <3. I think I know what you're asking for! I hope you enjoy!

Also I cannot stop myself from putting Taylor Swift references into everything I write I'm sorry.

43. “You always come here when you’re upset.”

You kicked the grass in the open field, aluminated by the tall stadium lights in the corners of the field. It'd been a while and you weren't sure if Jamie would show up. It had been a few years since you'd seem him last.

You grew up in Manchester, just down the street from Jamie's house. You'd been there for him everytime his parent's fought or his dad came home drunk. At one point, you'd even convinced him that his house was haunted, and that was why his dad was always mad. The two of you would hide in the closet and pretend to fly away to India or some other country that seemed so far away when you were young.

As you grew up, you remained close and soon found a place outside of the house to run to when something happened. An old abandoned pitch just a few miles from town. It hadn't been used in at least a decade but the lights still turned on every night for the ghosts of football games that came to life under the stars.

But Jamie was different recently. He had been since he'd been picked up at Manchester City. He'd gotten arrogant and rude. He was acting just like his father. And you'd told him as such two years ago. That was the last time he'd talked to you. But you'd read the news. He was being sent back to Manchester from Richmond, where he'd been playing on loan for a while.

Ted Lasso. Who knew someone so different could make such an impact on a team. But he was the first person to bench Jamie since... well maybe ever. Something had to have shifted in him. But being sent back to Manchester. Back to his father. It had to have hurt him. If your intution was right, and you hoped it was, he would make his way back here tonight.

It was getting late, and you were chilly. You were about to give up when you saw the headlights you'd been waiting for all night. Jamie got out of the car and leaned against it.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets.

You shrugged, approaching him slowly. "You always come here when you're upset"

He scoffed at you. "You think you know me?"

"I think I do," You shot back. "I think you're afraid to go back to Manchester. Cause your dad is going to be sitting there waiting for you."

He snapped his head over towards you. He was angry. Angry at you, angry at his dad, angry at the world.

"Oh, fuck off," he spat, pushing himself off the car and turning on you. "I'm pissed off, cause I played Lasso's stupid game, burnt my mum's boots, and actually felt like I was making a difference at Richmond and what the fuck did it do?" I didn't really know what he was talking about but I didn't care, at least he was talking. "It did fuck all. He still sent me away. Just like everyone else in my life."

You let the statement hang in the air for a second. Waiting to see if he would continue or say anything else.

"I didn't send you away," you said quietly. "You left me... if you'll remember."

"Yeah, fucked that up too, didn't I?" he muttered.

Against your own will, you felt your feet moving you forward, lurching in Jamie's direction. When you reached him, you took his face in your hands.

"You didn't fuck that up? Okay," You shook his head gently, making your point. "You didn't fuck that up. I'm here, Jamie." He grabbed onto you, wrapping himself around you tightly. "You didn't fuck that up." You kept repeating that, over and over, as he held onto you like a lifeline. "I'm here, Jamie... I'm here."

[thetarttfuldickhead]

I'm torn between wanting Jamie to stand up to his dad and tell him to stay out of his life (although the Wembley ep was sort of that and I think that no matter how much he has come on as a person, I think it would be too hard for Jamie to actually face his dad down and say that too him), and wanting James Tartt Sr to try something to hurt his son again and a vengeful Roy Kent come swinging out of nowhere to turn his face to jam.

Hiya, sweet nonny!

Though I certainly get the desire to have Jaime stand up to his dad in a more comprehensive and verbal kind of way, and in a moment when he’s no longer cowed by his father but faces him head held high, I think I’d rather not have another full on confrontation between the two of them. Partly because we’ve (sort of) been there, done that, partly because I just really think Jamie deserves never to have to deal with that prick ever again.

Then again, Jamie is clearly haunted by his old man still, not here but still kind of there, and perhaps the catharsis he needs is to let his dad know once and for all what he thinks of him, and that they’re done.

Only…

Only, most of the time, in most of our lives, there is no catharsis; not one single moment of great release than leaves us cleansed and ready to tackle the world anew without the burden of what came before and hurt us. Most of the time, I think, we just learn to live with the pain; blunt it, too, with time or experience or forgetfulness.

And love.

See, I don’t think that James Tartt, as we’ve seen him, will ever be able to give Jamie what he needs. There’ll be no reasoning, no realization of guilt, apologies, or amends. A confrontation will only ever lead to spluttering defiance and challenges. So what then if Jamie dismisses him with one hell of a zinger? Does that soothe the ache of a young boy who just wanted a father? Does that lessen the trauma of a fourteen year old brought to a brothel? Does it in any way make up for the times he was met with scorn when he should have been cherished?

(This is not an argument that you should never forgive because harm done cannot be undone; it’s an argument that James Tartt Sr. is unable and/or unwilling to participate in any attempts of reconciliation and is therefor best ignored.)

To me, the way Jamie gets over his father – slowly, painfully, and probably never completey – is by… just not giving it any more time that he absolutely has to (those ghosts in his brain, they’re still there). There’ll be times when he needs to grieve or rage or fall apart, and that’s fine; the rest of the time, his father is best forgotten and ignored in favour of the people that love Jamie, and that he loves in turn.

This doesn’t heal all aches either, of course. The damage done by his dad lingers. We do all of us learn to live with the scars.

I get that this is not as dramatic and immediately satisfying resolution as Jamie asking his dad to fuck off (even if they’re not actually mutually exclusive), but to me it just seems truer and in keeping with a series that had Jamie punching his dad be a heartbreaking moment rather than a triumphant one.

Roy now… Well, Roy really needs to learn to solve his and everybody else’s problem with something other than his fists and shouting so I can’t fully get behind him physically assaulting Tartt Sr. (sexy a thought as it might be), but I am exceedingly keen on the notion of him being protective over Jamie when it comes to this. Like, I dream about him stomping into Ted’s office and going what are you going to do about Jamie’s fucking dad?

“Well, Roy,” Ted begins, but Roy cuts him right off:

“Man City match is coming up and you know the piece of shit is going to be there.”

“Jamie told you he’s worried?”

And Roy hesitates. “No, but… “

He doesn’t say: No, but I watch him.

No, but I see the look on his face when he doesn’t know anyone’s looking.

No, but I know him, and I know the way he hunches his shoulders when he’s feeling down, I know that wide smirk flashing by when he doesn’t want you to notice his eyes.

I know his sharp tongue twisting round his mouth as it shies away from the words he’d rather not say.

Roy says, “He shouldn’t have to deal with that shit.” And he adds, as if needing to add justification (for himself, for the other coaches), “It won’t be good for his play if he’s distracted.”

“Mhm.” Ted nods, but nods in that carefully friendly neutral way that makes it damned clear he’s not fooled. “Well, what do you think we should do, Roy?”

Bring the paint, I’ll bring the ropes, Roy doesn’t say. “Can you make sure he’s not allowed into the stadium?” he asks Higgins.

And Higgins nods, yes, of course, and he’s off to make the phone calls, and Ted’s still looking at Roy with that infuriating understanding in his eyes.

“You think he might try something outside?” Ted asks, and it’s so matter-of-fact, such a straight fucking question for a situation as tangled as they come.  

“Maybe.” Roy’s face is a mask, is stone. He is already moving towards the door. “I’ll fucking sort it.”

Jamie might not have a father worth shit but he’s got a team and he’s got Roy, and that will be plenty.

[chucktaylorupset]

9 People to Get to Know Better (Tag Game)

tagged by @immortaljailor thanks for tossing me a free one, badumtss

3 ships you like:

Kabru x Laius Touden (Dungeon Meshi) Autistic narrative foils who fuck. One is a blond bombshell of a knight and the other is a short king (well, not literally, but). I love ships where one is like, internally tearing apart their mental furniture about their dick getting them into this situation, and the other one is like hee hoo i love you!

Keeley Jones x Roy Kent x Jamie Tartt (Ted Lasso) Everyone here is hot and prone to hilarious stupidity. Roy is almost definitely internally screeching about willingly sticking his dick in Jamie.

Louis de Pointe du Lac x Daniel Molloy (Interview With the Vampire (TV)) Listen. Listen I know the entire point of this show is that Louis does not get better with every old man he hooks up with. I know that. But hear me out: third try's the charm

First ship ever:

This memory could not be retrieved. If you go in my blog archive, Cassian Andor x Bodhi Rook (Rogue One) is there pretty early tho

Last song you heard:

all eyes on me - bo burnham transposed to his original voice the way this hits different than the original haunts me

Favorite childhood book:

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Waterson I don't know which volume, we owned a lot when I was growing up, but my dad would read them to me and my sister, and he would do voices. It made reading the hamster huey and the gooey kablooey comic very meta. The irony is I was very much a Susie growing up, and now I am nearly ideologically identical to Calvin. I did like the jokes, but also I just really liked Hobbes because he was a tiger.

Currently reading:

TCGF book 1 recommended by @sidecharactersdomatter, just want to be able to hang out in the same fandom/narrative spaces Babel by R.F. Kuang, given to me by a friend

Currently consuming:

Dungeon meshi anime, the magnus protocol kinda? I'm behind on both. I have a bunch of series I have ADHD wandered away from like the Bear s2, despite it being very good. I have entered the workforce and the things I do has decreased to focus on facillitating that. It is very sad.

Currently craving:

More Labru. More blonde bombshell knight bottoming. I know the labru fandom has mercifully universally agreed that the tall one gets to be the bottom this time, but I need more! (i have more, i just lack the mood and the willpower to write. i should probably post the concepts as bullet fics)

we're going to my extended family's soon for a belated lunar new year and i wanna eat my ba ngoais curry and the family egg rolls. let's GOOO

my mood's been in a gully lately but i wanna get back to the part where i'm ENERGIZED and DOING THINGS and it's not SO FUCKING COLD OUTSIDE

Tagging:

@sidecharactersdomatter, @fratgrl, @unbenchthekench @captainjonnitkessler @liesmyth @belovedblabber @professorsparklepants @twyrrinren @dabidagoose and anyone else who wants to join in!

[t1erradelfuego]

good evening. it is 22:18 pm. my flight leaves in 14 hours. i spoke 2 the moon today and she said that i can't start packing until i get rid of the worms in my brains and the narratives in my heart in the form of ao3 formatted fic ideas that rotate in my mind at the speed of light.

broken window serenade [matthew tkachuk/leon draisaitl] alternate universe - yellowstone fusion, childhood friends to enemies to lovers, internalized homophobia, cowboys & ranch hands Everyone knows the Tkachuks around here. They own the biggest ranch south of Montana, hundreds of hectares of grazing land nestled on the border in between Missouri and Nebraska. Leon's been a part of the ranch since before he could even ride a horse. He knows this place better than the back of his hand, knows his way around the business and the politics that come with being Keith Tkachuk's right-hand man and the leader of the ranch hands. So it's not a problem at all when Keith falls ill and the ranch is left to Brady and him in the meantime. Not a problem at all, when Matthew shows up for the first time in eleven years, like Leon hadn't spent the same amount of time convincing himself that Matthew was a figment of his imagination. That he didn't leave him in the middle of the night, didn't ruin everything and everyone else for Leon after that.

more notes: my toxic white middle age conservative trait is that i love yellowstone. look the show is Not The Best but WHATEVER i fucking love cowboy hats so much and i think for the benefit of my health i need to imagine leon draisaitl on a horse. anyways leon is a poor little canadian-german orphan (do NOT ask me how he got to missouri) who has been a part of the ranch since he was young, growing up with matthew as their friendship turned from deeply codependent childhood besties into fucking around together. and then matthew leaves one morning after he comes out to his dad and disappears for the next 11 years which ruins leon. and now keith's in the hospital with a stroke and matthew's back and leon just wants to run him over with a horse! something about the sincerity of childhood relationships and also the first bond you make in a new and strange place and the idea of being each other's comfort. and having that all taken away from you without a choice. and having it walk back into your life dressed in a business casual suit. there is also the version of this that exists. from matthew's perspective but like. always more narratively interesting to dig into the one who got left behind.

so good at being trouble [jack hughes/nico hischier] rule 63, alternate universe - celebrity, jack hughes is not a hockey player, getting together, secret relationship, mixed media, outsider POV, Pop Base @popbase Jack Hughes spotted with Nico Hischier, captain of the New Jersey Devils (NHL), at dinner in Los Angeles.

more notes: i'm not even a swiftie but the travis kelce and taylor swift of it all REALLY got to me. and then trevor's whole thing with the tiktok influencer and getting publicized via alex's ig is sooooo. and the wag christmas pics. i'm in shambles island over here. i'm gnawing on a bone that is pop star/professional athlete of it all. i want jack to show up slyly in the pictures and nobody knows if she's there because of luke or because of nico. i thought this would be full pov fic but it is so much more tastier as a mixed media/snippets in between type of fic because i want nothing more than to lean into the media machine that haunts their relationship. also luke having a meltdown that his captain and his sister are dating.

love is no island [trevor zegras/jamie drysdale], alternate universe - not a hockey player, love island fusion, getting together, no shirts no shoes but trevor still gets service, It was a joke, but it wasn't really a joke, because Trevor had been single for too long when he saw a post advertising Love Island applications appear on his phone. He's never been out of luck before, doesn't really know what to do without something to occupy his time and his hands. Even his social media algorithm knows this. It had been the best idea of his life. Then again, everything sounds like the best idea of his life after six shots and a fruity cocktail on an empty stomach.

more notes: ok i binged love island s6 throughout thanksgiving break and i've been thinking about the similarity of being put in a high-stakes fast paced environment and the semblance of intimacy that it creates in hockey and in love island. i'm thinking very deeply of trevor who can't sort his private vs public feelings and is also scared that this means nothing to jamie, whose friends signed him up on a lark and doesn't actually want to be here. nothing much to do but to fall in love and it feels a little too inevitable and maybe too easy. they sweep the voting and win the grand prize and fly back and go. oh. now what.

like the best that you've had [trevor zegras/jamie drysdale] rule 63, women in the NHL, 2023-2024 NHL season, getting together, "So like," Mason starts, having slowly skated his way over to Jamie as they're doing cool down laps. Practice ended an hour ago, but Trevor wanted extra reps at defending and to torture Mason for whatever reason, and it turned into keep and chase that ended with Trevor straddling Jamie, trying to face wash him on the ice. "You and Trevor a thing, huh?" They weren't particularly subtle if Mason's figured it out in his first practice with the team. Jamie blushes. "Oh. Good luck." Mason nods sagely, patting Jamie on the back before skating away quickly.

more notes: girl trevor is a female coyote who's ready to EAT. deeply inspired by top dog by magdalena bay. i've been thinking about the dynamics of women in the nhl (see: bingo board) for a long time and trevor would make the best girl in the game, so deeply sure about herself, loudly wants and hasn't ever felt shy a day in her life. i keep thinking about how jamie would go insane. specifically i wanna pick away at the dynamic that is being deeply in love with someone that everyone keeps telling you not to fall in love with. not that there's anything wrong with girl trevor but she looks like she chews on boys' heart for fun and spits them out clean as a whistle after. and she does! the first three months of living together, jamie runs into way too many guys that look heartbroken while getting kicked out like!

call this place my home [matthew tkachuk/leon draisaitl/connor mcdavid] rule 63, accidental pregnancy, developing relationship, polyamorous relationship, alternate universe, 2022-2023 NHL season Leon and Connor have been tied on the leaderboard for the past week, like they can't figure out who should win the Art Ross trophy this season, passing the puck back and forth in between them on the way to the net. They did the same to Matthew during Toronto, because they always liked sharing everything. Now she's staring at a positive pregnancy test. Go figure.

more notes: saving the best for last because THIS IS SO FUCK NASTY AND INDULGENT, i am not above this apparently. look i keep thinking about matthew getting pregnant and deciding to keep it and not knowing who's the father is and haha well the three of them have been. sort of a thing anyways. for the past year so maybe they should just? not figure out? and she's going to miss the rest of the season anyways so she might as well stay in edmonton. the baby's got to have canadian citizenship. surely. also german citizenship. the baby will play for team usa though. i think there are a lot of fun questions to explore like how do you acknowledge you are in a deeply committed polyamorous relationship and also how does having a kid change that. also how does having a kid change YOU and your own definition of love. how do you learn to put faith and hope into the wide changing world and trust that you will be okay no matter what happens. the pregnancy is actually a metaphor, you see,

[thisliminalspacedaydreams]

uno reverse: what’s the jegulus fic YOU would like to write but never will for reasons?

God I have this insane idea. I have a Notion page for it and everything. I look at it sometimes and think... damn that would slap so hard. I have a title(s) and a concept and everything.

Timelines We Mend / The Second Law of Regulus (?)

Second Law of Thermodynamics → entropy & the inevitable direction of time. James is constantly fighting this inevitability, trying to reverse Regulus’ fate.

The start of each chapter is an excerpt about a book about how everything that happens in any universe is bound to reproduce at some point and anything that happens is always going to happen no matter what.

Haunted by Regulus’ death in his own universe, James (almost-canon universe, age 30, Harry's dad) lands in the past through a Time Turner (maybe accident, I think on purpose, he fucks around and finds out. Blind faith he’ll be able to find or create Harry, ever optimistic, even if not in the universe he’s currently in (if he turns back time, Harry might never be born)), finds himself in a timeline where younger Regulus is hurtling toward destruction (aka same universe 15 years earlier where James couldn’t help Reg).

James disguises himself as a teacher and goes on to try and fix what he wasn’t able to fix in his own timeline (Regulus’ death Eater path, + his death) knowing what he knows now by helping his younger self, and younger Regulus.

Double-mission for Jamie:

Save Regulus.

Ensure Harry is born—again.

Two James Potters, only one Regulus Black left.

it has physics and philosophy concepts :

Nietzsche’s eternal Recurrence → the universe and all events within it will repeat infinitely across time.

Poincaré Recurrence Theorem → In a closed system with finite energy and particles, the system will return to a state close to (same as?) its original state.

Block Universe Theory (relativity where past, present, & future all exist simultaneously, ie time doesn’t “pass” but is a static dimension → everything that can happen already exists in some form.

Like I don't know I just love love this concept but I don't think I'll ever write it. It might pop into an original work one day, I don't know.

And of course there's the Reg2.0 that's @roadsidehorror and I are vaguely writing that's so so so close to my heart but that might only be a few chapters out and the rest in our hearts. We've both moved from the marauders so it's kind of unlikely that Robot Reg will ever live to see the light of day, but I CHERISH the concept and green and I had so much fun planning what we wanted for it and writing what we did.

[the-lil-exorcist]

Letters to the Wind; Solo

Timing: Recent Location: Ballard Home Summary: Jamie suggest that Lil write a letter to her sister to get out some angst. For once, Lil does what Jamie suggests. Warnings: Sibling Death tw, vague/illusions domestic violence tw (thanks Jacob)

“Just write it and then burn it,” Jamie said pushing the notepad to Lil,“It’ll help trust me.” His hand was firm handing the pen to her and she sighed knowing that he was about as stubborn as she was. She wanted to protest it, after all it didn’t feel like it would help. 

She’d much rather find her sister then write letters to burn, but well it wasn’t as if she was doing well on that front either, so taking the pad and slipping outside she started to write the words first coming out shaky - more stream of consciousness than anything else. 

Jane, 

Fuck I don’t know how to start this. I’ve never known how to talk to you after everything that happened. I thought when we were older we’d figure it out. That we’d have one of those stupid hallmark movie moments where you admitted you were wrong and I’d admit that I was a little wobbly. 

But I don’t think we’re going to have that moment are we, Sis? I don’t think we’re going to have that. Part of me is sad, and regrets standing my ground even now but most of me is still mad at you. 

I was a kid. I was a kid and you tried to make me a soldier, and you should have stepped in and helped. For a long time I honestly held that in my heart you know. I kinda resented you and Jude for not stepping in with dad. You were always so strong and I looked up to you. I really thought you were going to come back, and help. You just didn’t. It hurt. It hurt you didn’t choose to side with me. It hurt that you went along with him instead of me. You knew I was scared, you knew I didn't want to be a demonologist. You knew and you didn't step in.

Then it struck me yesterday that you were a kid. It struck me that no one was there for you when the training first started, and that maybe you were as scared as me.  Maybe there was something I didn’t know, and maybe you were keeping Jonas and I out of it.  Now I’m sitting here writing a stupid letter you’re never going to read because I can’t talk to Jonas about this. He misses you so badly too. I can see it on how he looks around corners. I think he’s looking for you and Jude and Mom and I don’t know how we’re gonna get past this. 

Your haunting me and your shoes are to fucking big to fill. Jonas and I shouldn’t have ever been put in this position. 

Damn it. 

I want to talk to you. I want that stupid talk we should have had years ago trying to figure out what happened. I want to feel like I know you again. 

I want my sister back, and I don’t think I’ll ever get you back. I want to tell you that I want to understand you, I want to know why you’ve done what you’ve done. I want to sit in front of you again and have you braid my hair and giggle about those stupid tv shows we watched. 

I want to feel safe again, and I don’t think I ever will. 

I love you. I’m so sorry. Please, please forgive me. Please come back. Haunt me please. I can’t do this alone, It hurts I’m sorry come back -  

Lil paused for a moment her hands shaking with a rage and held fear she didn’t know how to deal with. She was pleading for a sister that couldn’t come back to her. If she could have, she would have. Even now Lil knew that. Jane Ballard would have crawled home if she had too. 

It meant Lil and Jonas were alone, and she was going to have to deal with it. 

After she calmed down, Lil couldn’t sign her name instead ripping the page out and burning it unsigned, not taking ownership of it.

[mr-ghost-face]

taylor swift songs (or parts of) that remind me of ted lasso characters

@antitheticallyargumentative made a post about this so here are my thoughts and additions

rebecca is mad woman, ive said it before ill say it again, just listen to the song, its so perfect for her

jamie is mastermind bridge "no one wanted to play with me as a little kid, so ive been scheming like a criminal ever since, to make them love me and make it seem effortless, this is the first time ive felt the need to confess", this is so jamie opening up to people (especially roy) and feeling like he has never been wholey loved by anyone without strings attached (his father with football, relationships with sex, the team with his goals scoring ability)

seven is also so jamie but its people coming to realise what his father is like and not knowing what to do (not doing anything but thats a rant for another time) "ive been meaning to tell you, i think you house is haunted, your dad is always mad and that must be why"

OK HEAR ME OUT champagne problems as roy about his relationship with keeley and feeling like he was going to fuck it up eventually and like he wasnt enough "i never was ready, so i watch you go" " but you'll find the real thing instead, she'll patch up your tapestry that I shred, and hold your hand while dancing, never leave you standing, crestfallen on the landing with champagne problems"

ted as tolerate it especially with his ex wife "if it's all in my head, tell me now tell me i've got it wrong somehow, i know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it" SOB

ill probs do more later

[jamiesfootball]

the snippet you shared of the dark-but-not-really fic is SO interesting. if you're okay with sharing, what's the story about?

I hate spoiling things but decided for this one, yeah, I’m gonna-

Jamie haunts the fuck out of his dad

Thematically what’s it about? Comeuppance.

*Jamie’s not dead or anything (it’ll make sense later)

[longeyelashedtragedy]

⭐^⭐

⭐ ⭐ both below the cut!

first, let's do: something from the unpublished fic colloquially known as "Jamie did a bad bad thing." I guess the working title is "red red red." it's too disjointed to have a proper title yet--

“I’ll just be honest, Jamie.  Some of my friends think you’re gay.”

Jamie’s heart is instantly pounding so much he feels like he can’t breathe. “Who does?  Which friends?”

“Does it matter?”

"Of course it fucking matters. I want to know who's saying that kind of shit about me."

"As if being gay was the worst thing in the world, Jamie. Jesus Christ."

Jamie thinks he should have a good, snappy response, to show Louise just how wrong she was, but he comes up so blank that she just snorts out of some kind of disgust, shakes her head, and turns away from him.

What was bad about it? Well...the things Dad and Uncle Frank always said, for one. 

He feels stupid not having a proper answer for Louise. And for his only answer to be something about his Dad and his uncle, like he wasn't a full-grown adult. 

He closes his eyes he doesn’t want to see Louise he doesn’t want to think about her but when he closes his eyes—

Red red red on the pink lips.  The hand that haunts him (all those movies he was so scared of back then were just a preview…) The chubby hand that haunts him, a little damp from the sweat of Ayia Napa nights, a little sticky.  Hitting at his arms kind of uselessly.  Sloppy.  Jamie Jamie Jamie Jamie.  What kind of hand was it? 

--throughout this fic, Jamie has to encounter a few things over and over that haunt him, and one of them is his own learned homophobia vs his obvious wanting of another, uh, man. I was thinking about how hate and bigotry are just such pathetic, empty concepts. like, if you stop to break it down for a second--unless you're some kind of leviticus bible thumper, there is literally nothing wrong with being gay, and if you only think so cause you grew up hearing it from adults, that's extremely pathetic, and could be embarrassing to be caught in by someone who thinks your homophobia is ridiculous. I know that not everyone is gonna think like this--trust me, i've experienced homophobia of my own--but themes of infantilization kind of run throughout the Lampardverse and i like the idea of jamie's own issues getting thrust back in his face to make him feel even more pathetic and insecure. (I also experienced something like this in real life--a person trying to make a homophobic remark who got shut down by everyone else around him making him feel like shit about it, and it was kind of epic ngl). But then also we have Jamie--canonically insanely anxious and fearful and haunted Jamie--getting drawn away from reality by the disjointedly remembered nightmare of his Past Actions.

the next one: from the Christmas Chapter (TM, 'tis the season!) of Dangerous AU. warnings: being a little gross with blood, gratuitious mention of Killing. it's dangerous AU, you know! blunt but pulpy and silly.

“This blood is very sexy on you. Let me take a picture.”  And Granit pulls out his phone.  “This will be very nice to have when you’re not with me, you know.”

Mikel barely thinks about what Granit means.  He leans back down and takes another taste. 

“Hey, hey, what the fuck!”  Granit’s hand grips his arm too hard and pulls him up to his feet.  “What are you doing?”

“This is part of what I do.”

“But—you—”  Granit is confused, and Mikel can practically see his mind working and fail to make sense of it.  No one could possibly.  “You’re—But aren’t you going to get sick?”

“I haven’t yet. But if I do…I do. Does it matter?” Who would even care, he’s always wondered, if he was gone? His family, sure. But they’d never known the real Mikel; they’d be mourning someone else. So would it even matter?

“Yes it does. Of course it matters.”  Granit is angry at him.  “What about your Granit? Do you think he wants to lose you?”

Granit places his hand over Mikel’s fast-beating heart. “Don’t—don’t be stupid. Okay? Kill them as much as you want, you deserve to have some fun, maybe I can watch again someday. I hope I can.  But don’t be stupid.”

There’s so much Granit still doesn’t know. 

“Okay, shpirti im?”

Mikel just nods. There’s no need to argue this right now. 

He wraps his arms around Granit and presses his forehead, where no blood is, against Granit’s heartbeat. 

They are still singing in the church. He used to like midnight mass—the songs, the incense and shadows and mystery. 

This is better. 

Here we get a little glimpse into serial killer Mikel's, uh, behaviors. i haven't figured out when in the trajectory of this fic this chapter happens, but by the time it does, the reader will know plenty about mikel's behaviors after he murders and why he does. however, this'll be granit's first time seeing it, and he's kind of horrified. remember, of course, that granit is a murder machine and a sadist who kills for fun in a way that mikel does not, but--BUT!

this is one of my favorite parts of writing dangerous au, see, it's over the top and silly, and a recurring theme is that both of them are often on a kind of moral high horse about their own killing methods and motivations. for example, granit--and Taulant when he finally shows up (who, in canon, mikel is slightly afraid of) and all of his people think the concept of serial killing is weird and disturbing, while mikel thinks granit & co are slightly unnerving and deranged. this is FUNNY (to me, because i have a dreadful sense of humor) because obviously neither of them has ANY place to judge. also what's important here is the running theme of granit sincerely believing mikel has so much worth and having a huge heart of gold--in his very own way--when it comes to him. in fact, granit loves and values mikel so much that mikel's lack of self-worth makes hm rather angry!

[regrettablemeasure]

what's going on in your hunter the vigil game?

oh god, so much.

Our characters were called to help out some mutual friends regarding missing and murdered hunters in a small town near a Canadian national park. People assumed werewolves, but our main contact (the sick af hairless cat monster guy in the picture i posted, actually, he's a changeling) said it was too violent and weird to be a werewolf. Especially because there's a well-behaved clan in the area that doesn't have a history of it, and there's other odd clues that don't add up.

So we've got a cranky semi-retired veteran hunter (Jamie) who's the bane of a lot of supernaturals in the area, but some of this weird stuff might involve his deceased sister (and our contact's wife) so ofc he wants to know what's happening. He's fae cursed to turn into a monstrous wolf once a month and the clock is ticking.

Then there's a much younger hunter (Adrian) who's well experienced BUT he's never been allowed to go on a hunt "unsupervised" and generally isn't allowed "out" much, period. He can see supernatural signs that are usually invisible to the naked eye due to his LITERALLY CURSED eye, that he got after being subject to a horrible cult ritual at a haunted hotel when he was only a child. He got adopted by the hunters that ended up raising him. The murders might be related TO that cult, though...which is the double worrying part for him. His dad's older brother even died back when he was rescued.

My pc (Nancy) is a conspiracy-theorist computer nerd that used to be a reporter. She at the start thought she had ZERO connection to the case at all besides being a good friend of the contact, but turns out the weird dreams she's had ever since she was a kid are of the hotel where the cult ritual took place, and she's actually a Time Mage that erased her own memory. She's also kind of co-habitating souls with the wolf-guy's deceased sister because they were best friends, she (and everyone else) just forgot.

There's this one nasty demon that hates ALL THREE OF US and really wants us to do his bidding. Nancy has already betrayed him in the past (and had to cause a paradox to be free of him for a while), the betrayal was due to wanting to save Jamie and our contact from being hunted by fae, and the demon straight up wants to fully possess Adrian because his birth family intended for him to be explicitly for that purpose. It's a race against the clock as we try to sabotage the demon and the fae hunters he's allied with before things get REALLY BAD and it esp sounds like he wants to use Jamie to open a portal to the shadow plane and Adrian as it's own personal host to start fucking with reality.

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED but defacto the coolest moment was my PC and Adrian interrogating a girl possessed BY that demon after it kind of crashed us trying to take a breather and eat some dinner. It didn't want all three of us in there at once so Jamie waited outside with his shotgun near the door, and when we weren't getting anything else out of her Adrian called for him saying "Anna's hungry". Then he broke down the door and got her ass LOL

Also there was a demon (ADRIANS TWIN!!) that we were supposed to have a boss battle with but we adopted him instead and he's our son now. He tried to eat a granola bar with the wrapper still on.

[hopefulromances]

24, Roy/Keely/Jamie

#24 Kicking Up The Lights - JOSEPH

"Then the same bad dream, I've been here before I feel it taking over, so I try to run for cover Then I see light bleed from underneath the door Gotta step into the open, run, so I don't get pulled under"

Jamie woke with a start. It was dark, the whole room still in the early hours of the morning. Took a moment to catch his breath, rubbing a hand over his head as he looked around the room. He was in bed, in his home, miles away from Manchester. He wasn't hiding in the kitchen in his mum's arms while his dad pounded on the door, screaming for him to open it.

He looked over the bed and saw Keeley and Roy still sleeping soundly in each others arms. As much as he wanted to wake them and have them hold him, he didn't want to disturb them. He'd disturbed them enough already this week, having the same stupid nightmare every night.

Instead, he slid out of bed and walked downstairs, away from sleep and the dreams that haunted him. He leaned over the counter as flashes of his nightmare bombarded his head.

It was always bad this time of year. The anniversary of Man City, punching his dad, watching him getting dragged away hurling insults and threats while his teammates watched on. He hated that he was still effected by his father so much. He was safe, he was safe, he was safe.

Suddenly, a light flicked on at the top of the stairs.

"Jamie?" Keeley's voice called out.

Fuck. He'd woken them up. "I'm down here, babe." He splashed some water in his face and turned just as Roy turned the light on in the kitchen. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"Jamie, what's going on?" Keeley walked over and took his hands. Jamie looked down at his feet, feeling fucking annoyed at himself for this stupid night. "You had me worried sick."

Roy appeared next to them, wrapped an arm around Jamie's shoulders. Jamie refused to let himself melt into the two of them. He mumbled an apology to the floor but Keeley wasn't having it. He tilted his head up towards her.

"Jamie, baby, c'mon, talk to us," she insisted, worry deep in her eyes.

"Was it the nightmare again?" Roy asked, rubbing his hand over Jamie's back.

Jamie nodded minutely. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, babe," Keeley murmured, rubbing Jamie's cheek. "Why didn't you wake us?" Jamie shrugged still feeling the guilt settling deep in his stomach.

Keeley glanced over at Roy who nodded, leaving them to grab some mugs. Keeley lead Jamie to the couch, guiding him to sit next to her, keeping their hands clutched together.

"'m fine, really," Jamie insisted, looking over at Keeley. "Just didn't want to wake you over nothin'."

"It's not nothing," Keeley reminded him. "Do you know how worried I was when I woke up and didn't see you there?"

"She practically ripped my arm hair off," Roy called from the kitchen.

"Well, you got plenty more of it, don't you," Jamie called back, smiling smally. Roy rolled his eyes as he brought three mugs of tea into the room.

"He's fine," Roy grumbled as he handed Jamie a mug. "Drink up, it's your mum's recipe."

Jamie's eyes widened, his mums tea. He took a sip and was bombarded with warm memories of cookies and laughter in the good times.

"Thank you." Jamie took another long drink of tea, settling between the warm bodies on either side of him. "He was at the door. Yelling and screaming." Jamie stared at the liquid in the mug, the little bubbles and swirls keeping him mesmerized. "It was just me, hearing him break down the door, tell me he was going to get me back for Wembley."

Roy tensed next to him, a low growl coming from his throat.

"Oh, Jamie," Keeley cooed, pulling him to lean in her shoulder. Jamie burrowed his head into her neck, as Roy reached around to hug them both. "You're safe, yeah? Roy and I won't let him hurt you, ever."

"I'll fucking murder 'im if he comes anywhere near you," Roy agreed, his beard tickling the back of Jamie's neck. He pressed his lips to Jamie's shoulder. "You're always gonna be safe with me around."

"Oi! Me too!" Keeley piped up. "These little arms are surprisingly strong." Jamie chuckled, feeling a smile come on. "No seriously, I'm like, jacked."

Jamie could hear Roy roll his eyes. "The point is, you're safe."

Jamie nodded. He wrapped his arms around Keeley's waist, and let himself melt. He felt surrounded by warmth and love from the two people who meant the most to him. Roy wrapped both of them up in his arms resting his head on top of Jamie's.

"Thank you," Jamie muttered. Keeley squeezed him extra tights, kissing his forehead.

Jamie was a lucky son of a bitch, that was for sure.