#and then it occurs to us that surely one exists. and it doesnt. and then these things happen

[wutaijiemei]

you can put anything on the internet.

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

Me: *explaining why everyone in the movie is an idiot*

My dad, not hearing a single word I'm saying: that's nice honey

[uldahstreetrat]

Im trying to take note of real world influences in XIV for some projects going forward, like languages used in areas (French names in Ishgard, Roman terms in Garlemald) or like in aesthetics I suppose (like Radz-at-han in particular reminds me of Istanbul), and I'd like to hear others' thoughts about those kinds of influences that they've noticed

(little more context on things im working on under the cut)

right now this has a lot to do with things like stamps lmao I have in fact gotten kinda into stamp collecting now and I'd like to design some for XIV areas based on similar irl counterpart countries? like regular stamps and stuff like a sort of Garlean version of US postal war savings stamps? so having irl countries to reference for stamp styles would be helpful to like figure that stuff out

and honestly all of this is just part of making a physical copy of Q'ihnn's journal more complicated than it needs to be but never let it be said that I dont have a love of unnecessarily dense world building

plus by having a list of reference countries I can also build out other kinds of like, souvenirs? in the journal from the places visited across msq - a lot of things I see people keep in journals, especially travel ones, are stuff like wrappers or other packaging, pieces of maps, receipts (that's its own rabbit hole ive gone down), ticket stubs, and other various little paper things along with photos and drawings (which are much easier to manage in comparison)

cause a lot of this shit doesnt extensively exist within the game often beyond a mention in a stray line of dialogue or two so there's advantages to having irl cultural and historical reference to make something that feels real - plus im often off in lala fantasy land in my head because im stuck at home a lot, im not exactly well traveled, so im sure its easy for me to miss especially like language use in certain areas (I didnt even notice how French Ishgardian names were until someone else made a joke about it, it just doesnt occur to me)

like some of these influences are fairly obvious, right, like Doma and Kugane being Japanese inspired and Greek influence around Sharlayan (which the Greek/Roman dichotomy that Sharlayan and Garlemald have going on is its own whole thing I could go into btw they're so similar yet different in such interesting ways) - but places like Ul'dah?? not a clue. Ala Mhigo? no idea. The Crystarium and Eulmore in the first??? oh I'd put my head through a wall trying to thing of a real world counterpart for reference

granted now having said that someone is going to point out something obvious that I just entirely missed some way or another lmao but like that's why im asking, right? anyway if you have nerd ass thoughts too just hit me up

[itgomyway]

what the human condition is and how it involves the ego 🪐

who are you?

hi! my name is calypso :) the one who usually talks about non dualism. the one who just answered you is the ego. the ego is the FALSE sense of self. the idea that i am a girl teaching others about nd is false. the idea that i have a job is false. my name, age, religion, gender, financial status, beliefs, all of these are a part of the false sense of self. aka the ego. the ego is apart of you but since all of the aforementioned had to come to your awareness, its not actually real. its apart of the human condition.

my version of the human condition (this stems away from the general teachings of nd and go with how i decide the universe works) : we are “born” or land on this planet as beings of consciousness inhabiting human bodies. idk why we are here that doesnt really matter but the gag is, the more we identify with the false sense of self given when we land the less control we gain over our surroundings. also don’t know why this occurs but some of us are lucky to break free, most with the help of guides (astrology, tarot, loa, etc).

unfortunately growing up, a lot of us were taught by those who never broke free and are still under the human condition. i consider it the ego’s perception of life personified. example, if you hold the belief that you’re unlovable and you identify with this belief this is what youll experience in the human condition. this is also the 3d and 4d stuff with manifestation. manifestation is just consciousness identifying as the ego so it can understand its version of events. no events actually take place however.

so what now?

by default, our brains are more comfortable identifying as human. we could use conscious affirmations and repetition to change beliefs about being human. this makes ego identification easier. you could also just… not participate and exist as consciousness.

whats the difference?

ego identification means you are going to be human you want to manifest better jobs and relationships with others and connect meaningfully. you want to pursue passions and have an abundance of wealth. all beautiful things possible with loa 🫶

or you can do what i usually like to do which is remove the ego attachment from all of that. like sometimes i just want things not necessarily to improve my “life” but bc i just do. i have no plans for a future that doesnt exist. i live presently and accept what comes. i play the game of life but not as the victim as the maker and i create as it comes consciously all the time.

which one is right or wrong? which one is easier or harder? im not sure. thats entirely up to you. all you really need to know is that whether or not you decide to play the game, the game is gonna keep running. do what best suits you

© itgomyway

[fipindustries]

AIs dont understand the real world

a lot has been said over the fact that LLMs dont actually understand the real world, just the statistical relationship between empty tokens, empty words. i say "empty" because in the AI's mind those words dont actually connect to a real world understanding of what the words represent. the AI may understand that the collection of letters "D-O-G" may have some statistical connection to "T-A-I-L" and "F-U-R" and "P-O-O-D-L-E" but it doesnt actually know anything about what an actual Dog is or what is a Tail or actual Fur or real life Poodles.

and yet it seems to be capable of holding remarcably coherent conversations. it seems more and more, with each new model that comes out, to become better at answering questions, at reasoning, at creating original writing. if it doesnt truly understand the world it sure seems to get better at acting like it does with nothing but just a statistical understanding of how words are related to each other.

i guess the question ultimatly is "if you understand well enough the relationship between raw symbols could you have an understanding of the underlying relatonships between the things these symbols represent?"

now, let me take a small tangent towards human understanding. specifically towards what philosophy has to say about it.

one of the classic problems philosophers deal with is, how do we know the world is real. how do we know we can trust our senses, how do we know the truth? many argue that we cant. that we dont really percieve the true world out there beyond ourselves. all we can percieve is what our senses are telling us about the world.

lets think of sight.

if you think about it, we dont really "see" objects, right? we just see the light that bounces off those objects. and even then we dont really "see" the photons that collide with our eye, we see the images that our brain generates in our mind, presumably because the corresponding photons collided with our eye. but colorblind people and people who experience visual hallucinations have shown that what we see doesnt have to always correspond with actual phisical phenomena occuring in the real world.

we dont see the real world, we see referents to it. and from the relationships between these referents we start to infer the properties of the actual world out there. are the lights that hit our eye similar to the words that the LLM is trained on? only a referent whose understanding allows it to function in the real world, even if it cant actually "percieve" the "real" world.

but, one might say, we dont just have sight. we have other senses, we have smell and touch and taste and audition. all of these things allow us to form a much richer and multidimensional understanding of the world, even if by virtue of being human senses they have all the problems that sight has of being one step removed from the real world. so to this i will say that multimodal AIs also exist. AIs that can connect audio and visuals and words together and form relationships between all of this disparate data.

so then, can it be said that they understand the world? and if not yet, is that a cathegorical difference or merely a difference of degree. that is to say, not that they cathegorically cant understand the world but simply that they understand it less well than humans do.

[deusvervewrites]

Genome AU:

I like this au a lot and have been rotating it in my head for a bit now. specifically how the whole clone project gets revealed - in one of the asks, you mention that AFO/the doctor likely aren't actively scheming with it in mind, and given that it was canned approximately 10-15 years ago by the time canon rolls around and only a few clones were kept, the fact that the clone kids are then old enough to possibly be in UA would probably have not occurred to them.

But. while the project may not be on their minds, it most definitely had to have some sort of records of it taking place. the first thought that i had was that maybe the doctor kept notes/records of the process, along with files for specific clones, their "parents," where they were kept, and possibly even when or why they were dropped.

If those files didn't exist, whether due not being made in the first place or being lost/destroyed, there would most likely be suspicious holes in the clone kid's paperwork, or at least an absence of any record of former/possible parents. If i remember correctly, some of the nomu project was done inside/connected to the AFO orphanages - so if that was discovered, and the investigators noticed the link between the UA students who came from them and their lack of early life records, then a DNA test could be ordered and reveal their odd parentage. The whole "clone" thing would be more of a running theory than a definitively proven fact, but oh well.

Okay so im still thinking about this. Basically a continuation from my last ask about this. back to the clone project records - for this reveal to even come about, there would have to be a further investigation into the nomus/the doctor's work specifically, rather than just the broader lov. Im not sure if there were any given dates/approximate timeframes for the nomu project in canon, and i don't know for sure if the doctors work had any appearances in vigilantes that would date the creation of nomus/similar things to being active earlier than in the main series, but from what i can remember about the reaction to the USJ is that nomus and similar don't seem to have been encountered and thus recorded before its appearance at the USJ. (it also doesnt seem like people react to the idea of bioengineered weapons made from the corpses of missing people as like. a main concern and it was kind of brushed off in favor of focusing on shigaraki, which i get that he is far more important in the long run but was the entire task force really like "eh, whatever" about the fucked up frakenstein things???) take this with a grain of salt bc i havent reread this specific part in a while. But in this au, the doctor's work clearly goes back pretty damn far. they were advanced enough to make viable clones from multiple sources of DNA, and while the project was technically a failure, there would have been a lot more research into the mixing of quirks that could be repurposed for the nomu project, which would then have at least 10-15 years before canon to develop, possibly even more if it was running next to the original clone project while the latter was winding down in its last years. So. My thought was that if the project had far more time to develop, then the nomus used in canon would likely be far more powerful by the time the heros catch on to their existence, possibly matching the high-end nomus. Because of this, they'd be even more of a problem than in canon. The investigating heros would then dedicate a second team to focus on the origin of the nomus, eventually clueing them in to its predecessor in the clone project. Okay last ask bc i should sleep. still connected to my previous two but mercifully shorter. my bad for occasionally dropping huge asks onto your blog sometimes i have more thoughts than i thought i had. Anyways i think it would be fucked up if one of the clone kids was put onto the investigation team that dug up the files.

We do know that the Noumu specifically were canonically a recent development because the main antagonist of Vigilantes was the thing AFO tried before moving on to the Noumu project (specifically because of how Vigilantes played out for him), but I'm not sure whether that's the case here. (And, yes, Kurogiri was already around in Vigilantes)

The Noumu being stronger makes sense, considering what I have cooked up with the few clones that AFO kept, and they've also adapted the Noumu technology back to the clones for implanting new Quirks, so it all ties together for Garaki.

Finding records about that makes sense

[ambyandony]

Illuso monster au concept sketch (very very sketch quality)

Illuso (probably his first name but idk his last)

mirror ghost

presumably dead human - definitely dead (thats most ghosts most ghosts are dead. non-dead ghosts are classed under spirits) i've established that he's dead

COD unknown (he doesnt like to talk about it) (most ghosts do not like to talk about it. I recommend not asking ghosts about the circumstances of their deaths.)

whatever it was was probably fairly traumatic and he misses being alive. he is spiteful towards prosciutto, who is a lich (basically voluntarily zombified himself with necromancy in a bid to achieve immortality) LEARN TO DIE LIKE A REAL MAN FUCKHEAD I DIDNT DIE A GRUESOME DEATH TO SEE SOME PASTY-ASS BLOND FUCKER EVADE DEATH LIKE A FUCKING COWARD

He is only able to appear in mirrors / reflections. While he's able to be outside of mirrors, he is invisible / inaudible (unless under certain conditions). When seen inside of mirrors, his skin and particularly eyes appear to be shattered, so it's possible that when he manifests in a mirror, he's accompanied by a cracking noise when he moves as the mirror breaks. The mirrors only appear broken where he is, so they probably repair themselves when it comes to specifically this.

his fingers are often seen broken off in a jagged fashion, which makes his body appear to actually be glasslike or maybe statuesque. Which fingers are broken may not always be consistent, and the extent to which they are broken can differ, but his hands are never fully intact. Sometimes they are missing completely (though never both at once... at least hopefully, ‘cause that would fucking suck for the poor bitch).

other parts including his arms and legs (and maybe even his ponytails on rare occasion) can sometimes also be seen 'broken off'. whether this affects him directly in terms of him "actually" missing those parts is questionable. but if he's manifested and his leg appears damaged it does seem to impact his mobility, and its not entirely clear when or how these breakages occur / repair / change / etc

his ponytails also appear jagged somehow

illuso likely spends a lot of his time in the mirror world because it's the only place where he actually exists as a physical entity and can (possibly?) make physical contact with people. hes actually very lonely and really misses the ability to hug people under normal circumstances but of course he would never fucking admit that.

Being in the mirror world isn't necessarily the same as manifesting inside of the mirrors, though it appears similarly; when manifested inside of a mirror, he sort of becomes part of the mirror, whereas when in the mirror world, he can actually move around independently from where the mirror is despite being ‘inside’ the mirror still. In both cases, he is visible, but intangible outside of the mirror world itself, since he's inside of the mirror, and not just being seen reflected in the mirror. He can therefore be outside the mirror, wherein he's 'semicorporeal': he can kinda be made contact with, but is completely invisible and would mostly just get in the way, and only his reflection is actually being seen.

Sorbet's Stand (Super Trouper) has an ability that is light-based (it pretty much uses light to knock people out). This could be a bit troublesome considering Illuso has to be in a mirror to manifest which perhaps risks redirecting Super Trouper's light which was funny once (despite Gelato's rage) but problematic the second time

There's most likely at least one mirror in almost every room of La Squadra's Hideout, because Illuso would be unable to interact or communicate properly with the others otherwise. illuso everywhere system

Formaggio has used Little Feet to shrink down mirrors for easy illuso transportation and im not sure if theyve just forgotten that compact mirrors are a thing orrrr��…..

[n0bluev]

Somehow, im inspired to write that 'revision fic'. === (EDIT : u can skip but heres another snippet for u (3 separate bits that fit together nicely, actually haha) cuz hihi. THE AU: As i said, its a failed "3"rd regression context, where yjh is now in his "4"th round. The last memory he has of kdj is him dying, and to make things worse "In this round, that guy doesn't exist." is a thing, so yjh freaks out a bit but hes totally normal about this whole ordeal & the fact that he doesnt even remembers kdj's face now. Wdym! Hes fiiiiiine!

sorry lol back to the actual post : (,hope u enjoyed that little treat tho^^)) ===

!!THAT [Somehow, im inspired to write [...]] HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE!!. I always like. do an outline for the overall story and vibe, then flesh out the start or something and cook up a little 500 (probably unsatisfying) words for fun kind of as a bonus. Keep it mostly for my private enjoyment and move on before the story comes to life. And that's okay... Yes, it would be cooler to actually write the AU ideas i get in novel or comic form instead of having them stay at just the 'sketch' & 'idea/brainstorm' phase before i get another idea and leave them to dust up in the pile,,

But yeah, its okay.

In the few years since ive started getting ideas for more elaborate aus/fics, ive noticed that my ideas improved with time. (no shit, i know, but it makes me happy! i grew up!!! i can see it.) My planning methods are better too. So all of that unfinished or abandoned stuff is not at all useless work in my eyes. And who knows, maybe one day i'll bring them back.

--> as a plus, all my fandom brainrot experiences even get transferred into my OC stuff, and frl whenever i read my notes these days (or listen to my voice memos lol) and im just like "HOW DID I THINK OF THIS WOW" or "WHEN DID I PUT THIS LIKE THIS? IT WORKS!" (not to brag or anything but my oc lore goes hard ☝️)

BUT. NOW THIS IS UNEXPECTED.

I DID NO PLANNING. I just started writing for orv and its. Lowkey, good ???? Dont get me wrong i only have 1.5k right now and there are clear holes i have to fill and stuff but... CLEAR HOLES! CLEAR HOLES. Sure Im used to being like "something of the sort should go there..." BUT THIS TIME ITS "THIS SHOULD GO THERE, ILL WRITE IT LATER BUT THE IMAGE IS IN MY MIND, CLEAR AS WATER, AND ONCE I START PUTTING IT ON THE PAGE ISTG THOSE WORDS WILL STREAM OUT OF MY FINGERS AS IF IT WAS A NORMAL OCCURENCE FOR ME" ,,- !??? Yo!

Anyways. Point is that somehow theres interesting stuff going on in my gg doc and the more i write the more i know where i want to go, so that's cool, i feel all powerfull for once

idk if that ease is going to stay once im done with the first scenes (ughh!!! theres so much potential!!!!!!!!) but hopefully yes. either way ill probably post it so im not baiting yall with a "um actually im writing smt rn --- *never shares with the class*" --- either 1) things go well and i write a "real fic" (!? wtf that wasnt my plan!) --- or 2) i only post the finished version of what i have now (expect around 5k? (i have no idea actually)) and we wait together to see if i pick up the idea again haha. (i do wish to write it tho! im not a 'writer' writer but i want to be one, u get me?)

! thank u see u byebye

[fanartalchemist]

Something old, something new. I decided to draw flippy from a really, gruesome cartoon called happy tree friends, as a murder drone robot. (flippy is from a show i wouldnt recemend watching if you are sensitive to gore and blood. Viewer discretion for that scource is advised) art and story below:

In the MD universe, these robots live on a planet named planet M0ND02019. these groups of robots were tested upon for the posibility if robots can regenerate after damage beyound repair, which involves the absolute solver program. the drones there were prototypes , that was sadly canceled due to the issue with the program and its dangerous properties. this project, and the planet itself was abandoned by the humans, giving the drones freedom since they wernt shut doun property. this population of drones are not very good at self-preserverance, because they die almost every single day. that wasnt mutch of a problem, since after a day or two, they come back to life without memories of their demise, and the events that occured. since they were prototypes, some drones are unable to grow back some of their parts after regeneration from their self destruction. to list a few, handy doesnt have hands (ironically), mole's visual processors never work, russel not only has part of their visor not working, but cant regenerate both their legs anymore (they always have a fresh pair of prosthetic feet luckily), sniffles needs perscription, especially in his gas mask, so he can see, and mime is unable to speak. some even have scars at some point.

theres one perculiar drone that stands out from the rest: flippy. most drones dont remember the events that occur after regeneration, but flippy remembers one specific event: a war he had with a rogue drone that turned into a dissasembly drone. serial designation T plotted to murder all drones, but Flippy and his team went to stop him. this didnt go well, since flippy ended up accidentally backfired his whole mission (harming his teammates in the process), and T was able to make sure his team was destroyed for good. this traumatic event caused Flippy's solver to activate, acting as a self-defense mode that he is unable to controll. his alter ego programing was able to kill T, and using what he did with his teammates to make sure he is gone for good. this is how his alter ego, Fliqpy, was brought into existence.

because of this programing, he becomes a deadly weapon that activates when the robot equivilant to PDSD kicks in. If there is a sound, smell, or anything that reminds hom of that war, the program activates, and he will have a thirst for oil from evryone in its sights. these episodes end with regret and guilt when he snaps ot of his programing. makes you feel a bit sory for him, dosnt it?

[danidoesathing]

hey bestie. wanna trade infodumps again. whats your favorite theory about lord huron, doesnt have to necessarily be the most correct it can also just be the funniest

YES ABSOLUTELY

ive talked about the lonesome dreams time loop theory already so. in honor of it being vide noir day ive got. a theory

i think Buck did actually die from getting blackbrained. he injested a lot of vide noir and like. it probably should've killed him. it probably did him, but god knows the dead dont tend to stay in this universe, so it aint out of the question that the lyrics in back from the edge were more. literal than we thought. i have no idea if this makes him one of the undead or inhuman or if he's just got some insane cosmic luck but he was dead for a couple of minutes at least.

and you know. thanks to dying on vide noir, you know, a drug that notoriously break space and time, it had. repercussions. that echoed out in all directions. jumps in space time entirely unrelated to him but still places and moments that actually occurred (ie the whole frozen pines moment). awareness of certain things he probably shouldn't be aware of (how the fuck does he know about the balancer's eye hello. how and when the fuck does he find out that exists). general sensitivity/draw towards the supernatural (found three separate supernatural beings in one night by complete accident. sure)

and like. the whole "being able to see ghosts thing" might come from the fact he died and came back thanks to the fucked up space goo. he doesn't really seem. bothered by the fact that he's talking to dead people so i assume he's been doing this a while. then theres his fucked up relationship with death in general. his indifference towards life. consistently using death as a metaphor and having repeatedly writing stories/songs where he dies. and he's just got weird perspectives on life and death in general. soooo

i have no proof and no real reason to believe this. its more likely his cosmic bullshit luck saved his ass and he lived through the overdose but you know. you asked for my stupid theories you get them. you can't prove me wrong either way

[bridgyrose]

An AU where Ruby and Yang are full blooded siblings, but Ruby took after their mother more so grows up living in their shadow (in both a good and bad way)

Ruby took aim at a grimm and aimed down the sights, closing one red eye as she took a breath to steady herself and pulled down on the trigger. A smile crossed her lips as the grimm went down in one shot. She pressed a finger to her ear and spoke through the earpiece she wore. “Alright Yang, you’re up.” 

“Are you sure about this?” Yang asked over the earpiece. “I know you dont trust Ozpin-” 

“He’s hiding something and I need to find out what.” 

“Why? What will that change for you?” 

Ruby sighed and looked down at her tattered red and black cloak. It had never occurred to her what would change if she found out. Sure, it would give her a reason to be right about not trusting Ozpin, and it would prove her mother right, but in the end, what exactly would it prove? “I… I need to know, Yang. He’s been throwing us into mission after mission with our team time and time again… arent you at all a little curious about why? Why our family seems to be so important to him or why he keeps a close eye on us?” 

“Maybe because we seem to stumble into everything.” 

“Or there’s something else. Mother told me-” 

“When did you speak to our mother?” 

“That doesnt matter. What does is that she told me that Ozpin has a secret that he’s keeping from us, one that will get us in trouble.” 

“And if it turns out to be nothing?” 

“Then that will be a bridge we cross later.” 

“...alright, but I dont promise anything.” 

Ruby sighed and turned her earpiece off for a moment as she looked down at her scroll. She scrolled through her notes she took with every meeting with Ozpin, everything from when she was first offered a spot at Beacon early to the last mission she took for him involving searching for a missing girl from Mistral. Her ears caught the sound of wings flapping over her and then stopping. “Mother, I know you’re there.” 

“Still having learned anything from what I told you, have you?” Raven asked as she climbed down a few branches. ”You’re still not asking the right questions.” 

“And what questions am I supposed to be asking?” Ruby put her scroll away and leaned back against the trunk of the tree. “Are you ever going to tell me what he’s hiding?” 

“I’ve shown you, havent I? Both you and Yang know magic exists-” 

“And that doesnt prove what he’s hiding. Besides, you havent exactly been as open about it either. So, I’m finding answers on my own. Just like you told me to.” 

Raven smirked a bit. “Because you dont trust him.” 

Ruby sighed. “Because I worry about Yang and my team. We keep getting dragged into stealth missions and information gathering, but no one is telling us why. And the way he keeps comparing us to you and mom… something just doesnt feel right.” 

“At least one of you listened to me.” 

“So… what exactly did you come to me for? You’re not one to drop by just to say hi.” 

Raven nodded and dropped a small note into her daughter’s lap. “I think this will help you with a few questions you have.”

Ruby took the note and slowly opened it. “Jinn? What does this have to do with Ozpin?” 

“More than you know.” 

Ruby rolled her eyes as she watched Raven open a portal and step through. “Helpful as ever, mother..” She turned her earpiece on and folded up the note. “Yang, its time we pull out and regroup.” 

There was a pause on the line. “Why? What’s going on?” 

“I think we’re looking in the wrong place.” 

“And what makes you think that?” 

“A little birdie told me. Meet back at the apartment? I’m going to grab some food on the way back.” 

“Make sure to grab enough for Weiss and Blake. They’re supposed to be coming around today, remember?” 

“Dont worry, I didnt forget.” Ruby turned her earpiece off once more and stashed it into her pocket. She looked up at the sky and sighed. “Alright mother, what do you know that Ozpin doesnt want to tell me?” 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You sound just like your mother,” Ozpin said as he put a book away.

“This isnt about her.” Ruby took a breath and sighed. “Can you tell me why you’ve been singling out my team? Why we’re looking for a single missing girl?” 

“I already told you, I cant tell you everything-” 

“Who is Jinn?” 

Ozpin sighed and looked over at Ruby. “Where did you hear that?” 

“I… found it in a note.” Ruby dug through her pockets and pulled out the note that Raven handed her. “Who is Jinn?” 

Ozpin took the note and sighed. “Someone I havent thought of for years. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow.” 

Ruby nodded and turned to walk away. “You better.” 

“Oh and be careful. You dont want to turn out how your mother did.” 

Ruby paused. “And what do you mean by that?” 

Ozpin took a sip of his hot chocolate. “Untrusting of everyone around her. Get some rest, bring your team to me early tomorrow. I’ll tell all of you everything and what’s really going on. Afterwards, you’ll have a choice to make and I’m sure you’ll make the right one.” 

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi Sex Witch, just wanted to ask a sex ed Q if that's ok! I recently started working out after years of being pretty inactive - I walk places and my job is more physical but no real exercise - and since I've started I noticed I had some spotting in my underwear immediately after working out. I havent changed BC or anything and havent had any of the kinds of sex that could cause any vaginal tears. I'm not really worried about it, but I just wanted to check this wasnt something I should bring up with a doctor, unless maybe it doesnt go away after a while? Thanks!

hi anon,

this is an interesting one for sure.

there's a link between physical activity and the hymen tearing, but that tends to happen at a much younger age than you presumably are if you have a job. (if you're some kind of child laborer, my condolences.)

I know some people are probably immediately balking at my mention of the hymen at all, since I've dedicated a not inconsiderable amount of my time both irl and online to talking about how the hymen is mostly bullshit and not a reliable indicator of sexual activity, and those things are true - but it is a real membrane that partially - keyword, partially - cover the vaginal opening at birth. it doesn't so much shatter upon first contact with a sexual apparatus, as many people seem to thing, as pretty gradually wear away and widen over the early years of a person's life, aided by ordinary physical activity. aside from rare cases of imperforate hymens, there's generally no drastic intervention required.

a tangent that I find interesting: historically there's been some real concern surrounding vagina-having young ladies taking part in certain activities for fear that those activities might endanger the hymen. bicycles were considered devastatingly unladylike, because they not only threatened the hymen but also allowed women to go places unsupervised like a bunch of harlots and seemed like they could, maybe, be putting pressure on the clitoris or otherwise simulating sex, which absolutely couldn't happen. there's also a probably apocryphal idea floating around, which I think may have genuinely been popularized by A Song of Ice and Fire, that horseback riding could "break" a hymen and therefore noblewomen were less likely to bleed on their wedding night because they'd grown up on horseback. like many things in Game of Thrones, that one's bullshit.

POINT BEING, there's definitely like.... a connection between spotting and physical activity that exists, but it would be slightly irregular at this phase of your life. (again, unless you're a child who's been put to work in a mine or something, in which case you have bigger problems.) note that irregular doesn't necessarily mean "dangerous" - I honestly love that you're not panicking about this - but if you're bleeding it's usually a sign that something is amiss.

if you're sure it's not a birth control situation or one where bleeding could be caused by sex, it could mean there's some kind of friction or irritation occurring in your vaginal region when you're exercising that's causing a little light bloodshed. there's also a chance that your new workout regiment is causing some kind of hormonal fluctuation in your body - possible, especially if this is something you're still getting used to! this is an especially common stress response if you've got a very low level of body fat and/or you aren't taking in as much food as your body would like; exercise puts a lot of strain on a body that isn't properly nourished!

overall, I would agree with your assessment that this is only something that you need to bring up with a doctor if it doesn't naturally stop - or, of course, if the bleeding suddenly starts getting much heavier or painful.

[hurrakka]

oh man. theoretically in a l4d au luis would've helped develop the green flu yeah? sure it's a naturally occurring virus in l4d canon (maybe. we're not really sure where it comes from cus ceda doesnt say shit but ellis mentions the government using bio-bombs in one of his keith stories so it could be a bioweapon?) but this is an au we can do what we want.

anygays im just imagining leon getting infected. we know better-safe-than-sorry-guy (i call him scout cus his va is the same as scout from tf2) is human when we first find him but experiencing extreme paranoia and some compulsions then a few minutes later he fully turns, going from able to speak and function to choking and growling and fully mutated (either into a hunter, boomer, or smoker) so there's always the possibility of a rapid transformation too. im thinking leon falling behind a bit while theyre walking because he's coughing and chokin and shit n he falls to his knees and luis is all like "bro whats wrong!!" and he gets to watch as leon Turns Before His Eyes. even better if he turns into a hunter cus if you look closely at their models they don't have eyes. we can't be exactly sure what Happens to their eyes when they turn but the two most popular headcanons are both equally brutal-- either Luis has to watch Leon's eyes quite literally melt out of his skull or he gets to watch him claw his own eyes out. Fun!

BUT there's graffiti in one of the safe rooms arguing over how long it actually takes to turn-- whether it's 20 minutes, 2 hours, overnight, or some other wacky chunk of time. so there's also the thought of Leon turning slowly. progressively becoming irritable and irrational and confused and him slipping in and out of conciousness for days until Luis goes to check his temp one day and he fucking Lunges.

and if leon turns and luis makes it out alive imagine the Guilt. he feels awful enough in re4 canon when there's a cure,,, but the green flu mutates too often to develop a proper cure for it. if leon gets infected and he isnt immune then he's just. done. theres nothing that can help him at that point. and luis already feels so goddamn guilty about the millions of people he's killed and now leon's gone too and he cant help but visualize every single person who had somebody ripped from them by his hands.

oh man and if luis has to put leon down? its joever. that man would Never recover. i dont even know if he'd keep trying to survive at that point. maybe just for that shred of hope of developing a cure (even though he knows it'd be damn-near impossible but it's the only thing hes got, dammit) and stopping this whole disaster.

coughs. sorry for the rambling i simply have been obsessed with l4d for going on 12 years now so <3

I had to lay down for a moment bc of the feels and potential outcomes in the event luis lives on while leon well...yeah (thinkin abt how buddy from re damnation would jus turn as well since leon is no longer there and that made me big sad dgkrnekhbfgnjklh) Since the re verse has like morbillion viruses, the green flu existing would be plausible so its just another stonks moment for umbrella lol. But yeah luis would absolutely be devastated. He probably doesnt have the guts to pull the trigger, least he can do is to restrain leon for a while and tries to find whatever humanity he has left in his nonexistent eyes. Tho in my witch!leon hc I think luis may have a chance to keep leon around??? Since witches seem to have the most humanity among the infected (and thats not saying much) he could probs observe him a lil bit without getting eaten right away. It would just be a warm bodies scenario ngl (i just watched that movie recently so this is huge copium dksfghbshgndfh) Honestly Im glad l4d fandom still alive after all these years. That game will always be goated and it was one of my high-school obsessions. I used to do crossover stuff back then and Im back to doing it now. Time rly do be a flat circle

[freebooter4ever]

how's the job hunt going? would you ever relocate for a job love?

Oh wow what a question lol! Honestly i dont expect to be able to find anything new till this strike is over, the competition is insane right now. In the meantime my plan is to teach myself faster hard surface sculpting in z*brush using hockey gear \o/ mostly because i dont want to pay the $150 a month for maya, that shits insane. Like a fucking health insurance payment.

For the second question - i dont think i've ever experienced love like that. I think it would take a lot of devotion and sacrifice to give up your dreams for someone else. Admirable, for sure. And also a sacrifice that historically women are the ones expected to make. Every time. :( For a job? Lol, i would move in a heartbeat. I stayed in pittsburgh 6 years after college for my dream job - i only left when i lost it. Knew the next dream job wasnt going to be there, so made my way to LA. And now im having to come to terms with the idea that the dream job doesnt exist as i imagined it - or only exists for a very VERY select few.

And actually, thats not totally true about me and love. I think if i thought for one second that nick could love me back like i diid him, id already be in new england. When i applied to this one job, that sounded like a dream come true it listed the salary, and brian and i just read it and gaped. We looked at each other and i was like i dont even know what the fuck i would DO with all that. And of course the first thing that popped into my mind was i could buy that sailboat nick always talked about. When i was writing my programming textbook a decade ago, and really going through it, and nick and i were up until 3 or 4am every night painting theater sets, he'd talk about his sailing adventures, teach me rope knots, that sort of thing, basically a mental escape. And so last week i texted him like 'hey no promises but what if im suddenly actually making good money. Do you still want that boat?' Because, nick's worked so long and so hard and all he's gotten to is the point of still working on boats other people own, and its just not fair how devalued physical labor is, you know? And his immediate reaction was to launch into our very old daydream - the whole 'yes and you're coming with me, sail off into the sunset' stuff. And that hadnt occured to me - my idea was just- id give him the boat, and he'd fix it up, and id maybe demand photos or a visit or two every so often. Because i think finally -finally- im at a point in my life where being in love isnt enough - i want the other person to love me back. And lol definitely not someone who declares love one minute and then stops talking to me for weeks or months, and the cycle repeats over and over. I think its possible to love someone enough that you recognize you arent the one for them, but still want them to be happy? Happier than you could make them.

So long answer is yes, i would relocate for love, but i have learned the hard way to know when i shouldn't.

[pesterloglog]

Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Swifer Eggmop

Candy, page 8

ROSE: Did you hear that Jane had been intending to run for president?

KANAYA: Yes She In Fact Asked Me To Serve A Position In Her Cabinet

KANAYA: On The “Board Of Responsible Troll Reproduction”

ROSE: Oh dear. What did you tell her?

KANAYA: Well Not In So Many Words

KANAYA: But I Told Her To Kindly Fuck Off

ROSE: That bad, huh?

KANAYA: She Was Already Talking About Regulating Troll Reproduction

KANAYA: With Great Confidence I Might Add As If She Had Already Been Elected

ROSE: Very presumptuous of her.

KANAYA: Well I Suppose Her Confidence Was Not Unearned

KANAYA: Who Was Going To Run Against Her

KANAYA: Karkat?

ROSE: I don’t think Karkat would be such a bad candidate actually. Depending on certain factors I mean.

ROSE: I’m assuming that in this theoretical scenario, Dave is handling the economy.

KANAYA: Oh Of Course

ROSE: Ok. In that case it might have all worked out in the end.

KANAYA: Doubtlessly

KANAYA: I Have Great Faith In Karkat And Always Have

KANAYA: However I Also Am Not Certain That He Could Step Out Of His Hive Without Catching On Fi–

KANAYA: Swifer Could You Not Swiff The Mother Grub So Vigorously

SWIFER: Oh, sorry ma’am!

SWIFER: Just tryin’ to get her nice and clean! I heard the New Prospit Hornographer’s coming by later to scope out some pics!

ROSE: What’s this about the Hornographer?

ROSE: Since when has the press taken in interest in our activities down here?

KANAYA: Oh Yes You Were Busy Dying When I Set All Of That Up

KANAYA: The Mother Grub Is Mature Enough This Year To Process Inseminated Slurry For The First Time In Our History

KANAYA: If The Government Gives Us The Go Ahead We Can Begin Breeding Trolls The Natural Way Next Month

KANAYA: I Arranged The Newspaper Story When...

ROSE: When Jane asked you to sit on the “Board for Responsible Troll Reproduction”?

KANAYA: Yes The First Thing I Did Immediately After Screaming Into A Pillow Was To Call My Acquaintance At The Paper

KANAYA: Now That She Isnt Running It Doesnt Seem Very Important However

KANAYA: Actually Im Not Terribly Interested In Politics At All

KANAYA: Without Anger Motivating Me I Began To Think About How Its Probably Very Irresponsible For Any Of Us To Use Our Influence In Such A Way

ROSE: I agree. In fact, I’d just assumed that most of us had arrived at such a conclusion.

KANAYA: Not Jane Apparently

ROSE: Or Dave, I’m sorry to say.

KANAYA: Well Whatever Inconvenient Party Ruining Opinions Dave and Jane Might Have About The Economic Future Of Our Planet Its All In The Past

KANAYA: I Have A Very Good Feeling About Where Things Are Going Now

ROSE: I see. So are you the Seer now?

KANAYA: No

KANAYA: But I Can Make Predictions Based On Existing Evidence

KANAYA: And If I Can Spend Every Day Like This Doing The Work That I Was Born To Do With The Person I Am Most Fond Of In The World By My Side

KANAYA: I Believe That I Can Handle Anything

ROSE: Hmm... Did you really use dialogue like that to win my heart, or are we getting complacent and incredibly uncool in our old age?

KANAYA: I Convinced You To Marry Me I Dont Think That I Am Obligated To Be Cool Anymore

ROSE: Kanaya, you’re the “coolest chick” I know.

KANAYA: What

KANAYA: Are You Doing With Your Hands

ROSE: Oh, you know. Just one of these...

KANAYA: Please Dont Tell Me Youre Attempting To Do The Strider Thing

KANAYA: That Thing He Does Where He Pretends To Operate An Invisible Record Player

ROSE: B)

KANAYA: God

ROSE: Who’s the cool one now?

KANAYA: Well

KANAYA: It Sure Isnt You

SWIFER: Ma’am and Ma’am’s wife! Bank’s closed, ladies!

SWIFER: The first egg is hatchin’ already!

SWIFER: Golly gee oh my. This part always makes me tear up.

KANAYA: Rose Look

ROSE: ...

ROSE: Vriska?

KANAYA: Pretty Close

KANAYA: A Reasonable Genetic Approximation

KANAYA: This Brood Has Been Utilizing A Slurry Consisting Of Genes From Our Original Group Of Twelve Trolls

KANAYA: Mostly This Results In Unique Individuals

KANAYA: But Sometimes Very Close Copies Occur

KANAYA: As With The case Of Ancestral Descendancy

ROSE: So... Vriska would be this troll’s ancestor?

KANAYA: Yes

ROSE: Wow.

KANAYA: Rose I Think This Is A Sign

ROSE: A sign of what?

KANAYA: Havent We Been Talking About Adopting A Grub

ROSE: Eventually, yes. But a natural-born grub. Don’t you think it will be somewhat... awkward, us raising a clone of your sort-of ex?

ROSE: What happens when Vriska comes back? What do we say to her?

KANAYA: Rose Vriska Is Dead So It Doesnt Really Matter

ROSE: Is she dead, though?

KANAYA: Absolutely

KANAYA: There Are Two Things Of Which I Have No Doubt

KANAYA: That You And I Are Going To Be Happy For The Rest Of Our Lives

KANAYA: And That We Are Never Ever Going To See Vriska Again

ROSE: Oh Kanaya, you’re right.

ROSE: We are going to be so astonishingly happy!

[cassyapper]

I know you haven't asked for noritaro thoughts for a while but I wanted to throw one at you anyways. Hope that's ok.

Jotaro seems like the kind of guy to keep pictures of the closest people in his life in his wallet when he gets older, so what I'm saying is that he has the most UNFLATTERING picture of Kakyoin in his wallet. Just. The absolute worst picture. It's one of his most prized possessions (along with the other pictures there) and part of the reason he carries it in his wallet is bc if Kakyoin ever got his hands on it (or even knew Jotaro had this), he'd destroy it in a heartbeat. He can't just leave something like that lying around, so he hides it in his wallet.

Jotaro gets the most ridiculously fond look on his face when he looks at it (along with the pictures of Jolyne he has in there).

anon it is ALWAYS okay to send noritaro thoughts to me ok please always always always feel free to send some my way

anyway this is SOOOOOOOOO REAL i can see this so plainly in my mind's eye. i can't even add anything to it it's just so real to me

okay so i feel like jotaro wakes up before kakyoin commonly cause with kakyoin's back and associated issues i think he sleeps a lot more and a lot heavier than he used to meanwhile jotaro needs to get up when low tide occurs which means he could be up at 4 am some days. so i bet one day he wakes up before kakyoin and kakyoin's hair is a mess and he's drooling and he fell asleep with his glasses on (rookie mistake i used to make all the time) so theyre bent all crookedly and he's splayed like a fucking weirdo and i think jotaro is like "god this fucking guy is so weird" he like immediately takes a picture of him as the sun starts streaming in and the light transitions from blue to warm yellow and jotaro immediately goes to have it printed. doesnt even have to think about it. it is next to a photo of young jolyne with strap-on butterfly wings and glittery little kid make up very excitedly throwing the middle finger up at the camera. kakyoin never finds out the image exists (no one else does either) and jotaro intends on keeping it that way

(he fails; later down the line they order take out and kakyoin is being a bit of a Character that day so he swipes jotaro's wallet to use jotaro's card to pay for it and he finds this pic and he is so mad but also he's kinda speechless that jotaro kept some dumb shit like this like it's just so very sentimental and he teases jotaro ruthlessly about it (rookie mistake cause now jotaro knows he knows). jotaro of course snatches the wallet back and it becomes a game baout him moving the picture to make sure kakyoin can't find it but he can still access it when he pleases (at some point he gets a pin that can open and tucks it in there and it takes kakyoin years before he finds it). kakyoin bemoans about how ugly he looks in the pic and insists jotaro use a better picture of him as a keepsake "you old stupid sap" and jotaor is just like "you wouldnt get it" but kakyoin never tells jotaro to throw away the pic and jotaro never shows anyone else and hajdjdk;s;)