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wonwoonlight · 4 years ago

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📣: Idol!Vernon // fluff // tiny bit of angst (insecurity) // 1065 words

A/N: got a bit carried away with this hahah kinda wanna ask you guys, though. tbh as I write these reqs I try to make them under 1k bc initially in my mind these are drabble reqs and I’m not sure if all of you are expecting something longer...? so at times it’s just up to my brain whether a certain work is longer or shorter than the other. hopefully, it’s okay. but pls do tell me your thoughts about it!

Being Hansol’s close friend is both good and bad. On the good side, you get to spend your time closely near him: getting the honor of seeing him work firsthand in his studio, back stages pass, and being able to take care of him without anyone suspecting you about your feeling towards the guy.

On another side, Hansol has always been someone who takes care of his friends well. Maybe even a little too well for your liking. There’d be times when you’re just confused with the way he’s treating you; you’re not sure if you’re reading into things, he’s sending you mixed signals, or that’s just the way Hansol is.

It’s a bit hard to compare because there’s no female friend of his who, you think, is on the same ‘level’ as yours. The other female friends that he’s close to are: his cousin, so of course you can’t perceive the way he’s treating you by comparing his treatment towards her, and a childhood friend that he’s known for more than half of his life now.

So, you have no idea if the way Hansol always replies to the stupid Instagram stories on your private account which always turns into a full-blown conversation (or sometimes a phone call) until one of you fall asleep means something. You have no idea if the way his hand lingers on your shoulder for a moment too long is normal. You have no idea if the way he scolds you for getting sick is something that he does to everyone he cares about.

It’s frustrating.

Yet you don’t have it in you to confront him about it, nor to put a distance between you and him because, at the end of the day, you just want to be close to him. Even if there’s a big chance you’ll get heartbroken in the end, you decide you’re just going to enjoy the time Hansol cares about you instead of fussing about the mixed signals.

“What do you think about this?” he calls to you, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Huh?” You blink at him, responding a second too late before you drag your chair closer to the computer. “Oh, let me see.”

Hansol looks at you weirdly as your eyes scan through the lyrics he’s typed in the monitor. He rolls his chair to you a little, the hand rest of his chair hitting yours. “Are you okay?”

You turn to him, eyes wide and heart beating too fast for no reason at all. It’s not like he can hear to your thoughts earlier, but why does it feel like he’s caught you thinking about something you shouldn’t?

“Just slept a bit too late.” It’s not a lie, you did sleep somewhere near 3 in the morning, your mind running about Hansol and his mixed signal yet again after a talk with your friend who’s much too frustrated with your relationship with the guy.

“Oh?” he frowns, eyes scanning your face. “You should’ve told me. I wouldn’t have made you come here if I knew you need rest.”

“It’s fine, Sol,” you smile at him, shaking your head. “I want to come, anyway. Just one of those nights.”

His hand reaches up to your head, ruffling your hair softly. “Something bothering you?”

“Something like that.” You bite the inside of your cheek, wondering if Hansol will catch on it if you try to be subtle. Should you gamble and go for it anyway?”

“Wanna talk about it?” of course he’s giving you a choice, and for a moment there you consider on brushing it off; but when else would you get the chance to talk about it with him if not now?

“I’m in a bit of… situation,” you start, playing with your fingers. “There’s this guy? I guess?”

You don’t notice the way Hansol tense a little at that, his face dropping before he quickly asks you to continue. “I’m… not sure if the way he’s treating me is because he has feelings for me? or that’s just the way he treats his friends?”

“Do you like him?”

“Umm…” Is it okay to say yes? Why does it feel like you’re confessing to him when he doesn’t even know you’re talking about him? “I… guess? I mean, I like the way he’s paying attention to me. Makes me feel desirable, I guess?”

“What do you mean ‘makes you feel desirable’?” he frowns, his hands holding on to your chair’s hand rest so you’ll stay still in front of him. “Do you think you’re not desirable?”

You shrug, trying to play it cool. “Well, there must be a reason why it’s been years since my last boyfriend.”

“You do know I like you, right?” he says as if it’s the most obvious thing on earth, shocking you speechless.

You open your mouth to say something—anything. But you’re just blinking owlishly at him; you must’ve heard wrong, right?

“Wait, you don’t know?” he asks again, scratching his head. “Uh… this is awkward, then. I wouldn’t have confessed to you like this.”

“You… like me?” you manage to let out, your ears getting warm at the words.

“I hope this doesn’t strain our friendship,” he sighs, beating up himself for blurting out words without thinking. “But, I… thought I was being obvious about it. Even the hyungs said there’s no way you don’t know already.”

“But… why?”

Hansol sits straight, frowning at you. “What do you mean why?”

“Why would you like me?” you ask, and you’re not sure if your voice is small or it’s just your heartbeat beating too loud in your ears.

“Why would I not?” he asks back, unamused with your insecurity. “I’m sure the guy you’re talking about likes you that way, too. I’ll beat him up if he dares send you mixed signal only to leave you behind.”

You let out a smile at that, looking down as you chew on your bottom lip to stop yourself from grinning too wide. “Would you really?”

“Yes,” he nods seriously as if he hasn’t just confessed to you out of nowhere. Can this guy be anymore charming? “You know I’ve been working out a lot these days, right?”

“That wouldn’t be necessary, I think,” you tell him, and you can see his face turning in confusion. “Let’s just say it wasn’t mixed signals after all.”

#seventeen fluff #vernon fluff #vernon scenarios #vernon scenario #chwe vernon #hansol fluff #hansol scenarios #w-w: req #seventeen scenarios #seventeen oneshot #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenario #seventeen imagine #seventeen fic #hansol fic #vernon fic #wwreq

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furiousgoldfish · 3 years ago

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Thank you SO much for this blog, it’s seriously helped me a ton <333

I’m sorry if you’ve answered stuff like this before, I couldn’t really find it, but I’m just… conflicted I guess?

Both of my parents were abused growing up, my dad was more “textbook” and he knew it and my mom thinks hers was perfect even though she was forced to grow up early and went through a lot of traumatic things, both in her childhood and due to my dad. They both abuse my siblings and I, and I thought my mom at least was realizing and accepting it, but on Christmas I realized that she just learned how to deflect and ignore us in more subtle ways.

I just… she refuses therapy for herself bc she thinks it’s a waste of time and that there’s no point if she already messed us up, and I’m happy that she allows us to do therapy, but I’m *so* frustrated. (And I won’t even dare bring up the topic of abuse with my dad)

I don’t know what to feel about my parents. I want to cut contact but I feel so bad for them because they put so much time and energy into us only for it to not work out. They’re both so toxic and I can’t have an opinion that goes against either of them otherwise I’m being too much or being manipulated by someone that disagrees. (They mostly bad talk each other but my mom is convinced my elder siblings manipulated me bc I wasn’t on her side when she was being super close minded and pretty bigoted to us, and she started sending mixed signals abt how I should feel about my dad, smth my dad does with me as well when it comes to my mom)

I just feel bad for them and it’s making me confused about my feelings and their manipulation sure isn’t helping. Idk. They’ve caused me pain in different ways literally all my life and have affected my relationships with others negatively but I feel like I can’t show that bc they spent over a decade, even two raising me and my siblings. It’s like a waste and I don’t want them to feel like failures even if they did fail.

At this point I’m rambling, sorry, and it’s fine if you don’t feel like answering! Thank you for taking the time to read <333 Once again, I love this blog so much!

I am so sorry, it sounds like no matter how you try to figure out what is happening, you are stopped by this compulsion to put your parent's feeling first, to think of their lives and their effort from raising you. It must be very confusing and hard to find your way out of this situation where you get hurt, but leaving feels too forbidden or inconsiderate or ungrateful.

Raising kids is something people do when they want to help another human being grow. It's not done to ensure debt, gratitude, unconditional love, future services, or someone to keep stuck at home. If your parents expect you to forever be of service, then they shouldn't have raised a kid, but hired a maid. It's not on you if they completely mis-purposed raising a kid into 'raising a little servant who isn't allowed to leave even if they're abused and at most we will allow therapy but the abuse will never stop'. That is a ridiculous expectation of you!

It also sounds like they spent a great amount of raising you on just abusing you, then covering up abuse, then pretending they didn't know they were hurting you. I don't think they deserve that much credit if they couldn't even raise you healthily – it's you who will forever suffer the consequences of their neglect, lack of care, deflecting abuse, not being interested in therapy, or flatly being dangerous if abuse is ever brought up. Your parents sound dangerous. You don't owe anyone to spend your life in contact with dangerous people.

Their attitude towards you also doesn't show love 'oh it's too late i've already messed you up', or finding ways to deflect and ignore you, that is the attitude of people who don't care what you're going thru. They're invested to control your opinions and their perception of you, but never how you're feeling, if you're okay, if you need more care and kindness than this. If they raised you with the same or worse attitude, you don't have to give them any credit. You were 'raised' on abuse and grooming. You missed out on the actual experience of a healthy, happy childhood. They took from you a lot more than they gave. They act all entitled and like you should feel bad for them, but it's them who deserve to feel ashamed.

I don't want to put any pressure on you, it's okay to do whatever you feel the most comfortable with, but all the guilt, and debt you feel about being raised, needs to come off of your shoulders. You ddn't cause that, you didn't do anything to cause getting born to people who would hold it against you. You deserve to choose freely.

#ask #furiousgoldfish #abusive parents #emotional manpulation #lack of accountabilitz #dismissing abuse

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konaizumi · 4 years ago

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So I was rewatching the first few episodes of manner of death and I guess I kinda forgot because their dynamic changes so much after the murder, but like, bun was originally pretty into tan. He flirted with him and he was visibly upset when he thought that tan and jane were dating, so au where none of the murders an corruptions and shady stuff is going on in viangpha mork and tanbun’s relationship develops naturally:

- basically everything that happens in the first ep stays the same except for the murder

- little bit of retcon, jane and pued broke up but just for regular relationship reasons and not because he sold her to corrupt gov’t officials

- bun goes to eat lunch with jane at school one day and jane gets tan to join them and then this turns into a regular thing and bun comes to each lunch with them 2-3 times a week

- jane and pued don’t really talk about each other bc the break up was kind of rough for both of them and since bun didn’t know anything anyway neither really felt the need to talk about it, so bun doesn’t know about them

- jane and tan never clarify their relationship but they seem pretty close so bun is still under the assumption that they’re dating

- tan flirts with bun, but he keeps it kinda lowkey bc this is jane’s close friend and he doesn’t want to come on too strong and seem like a creep

- this confuses bun greatly bc he can’t tell if tan is actually flirting with him or if he’s just flirty by nature

- bun lowkey flirts back but then also sometimes pulls himself back bc it’s jane’s boyfriend and basically sends poor tan a lot of mixed signals

- anyway, the lunches go on for almost a month and at this point bun has a pretty big crush on tan (he’s not willing to say that it’s more than a crush)

- bun and pued go drinking one night and pued gets pretty drunk and starts talking about jane

- i can’t remember if the show gave a specific date of their break up so I’m just say it was a little less than a month before bun arrived, so at this point it’s been almost two months since the break up

- pued is def not over jane and bun hears the whole story now and is very shocked that his two close friends were dating and he didn’t find out until now

- a few days later bun and jane are out for dinner together and bun asks jane about pued and she’s a little hesitant at first but he tells her that he’s already heard everything from pued so she tells her side of the story

- While jane is talking it’s pretty evident that she’s also not really over pued and bun suddenly connects the dots that tan and jane probably aren’t dating

- he asks jane about this and she confirms that no, they aren’t dating all while laughing at bun bc she knows bun has a huge crush on tan

- now with this misunderstanding out of the way bun can finally pursue tan

- only, he doesn’t quite know how to do this after a month of sorta flirting with tan while under the assumption that tan was unavailable and he’s too embarrassed to just ask tan out even though tan doesn’t know he thought he and jane were dating

- so he kinda just keeps doing what he was doing only now he always flirts back at tan and is just kinda hoping that tan will make the first move

- tan is confused but pleased that bun is, seemingly out of nowhere, definitely flirting back with him

- tan figures that bun is probably just shy with this stuff and just needed time to warm up to tan, so he decides that he’s going to let bun make the first move and they’ll go at bun’s pace so he’s comfortable

- so now they’re stuck in this holding pattern where they’re both pretty sure the other one likes them but they’re both waiting for the other to make the first move so neither is making the first move and neither quite knows what to do about it

- good thing jane is their friend and their biggest shipper

- after clearing up the confusion with bun and realizing why he wasn’t making a move on tan, it is her mission to make sure her friends get together

- so they all go out to the bar and have a good time and jane makes tan the designated driver

- after dropping jane back at home she sends them off, telling tan to make sure that bun, who is more than tipsy but not raging drunk or anything, gets home safely

- they get to bun’s house and tan helps bun inside

- bun is, at this point, mostly just tipsy

- bun invites him to stay for bit so they settle on the couch to talk (a la that scene in whatever ep where they’re sitting really close and talking to each other and bun kisses him)

- it’s more or less a repeat of that, but it doesn’t end with just the one chaste kiss, they end up making out a bit

- they don’t go any farther than that but bun tells tan to just stay the night bc it’s late and they share the bed, they don’t really talk about what just happened

- they get up in the morning and bun makes them both breakfast and they do their whole domestic routine with a few more kisses sneaked in, then bun drops tan off at work (and jane doesn’t miss the chance to tease bun about tan staying the night)

- they still never really talk about the change in their relationship (the same way they never really define it in the show)

- their relationship continues and despite not having an unsolved murder forcing them together, they get domestic really fast

- like two weeks in and bun is spending more nights at tan’s house than his own, they have exchanged the cactus and the chilly plant, bun is cooking most of their meals now

- I don’t really have a definitive ending for this au, just tanbun being sickeningly domestic for the rest of their lives, they become the old married couple in their friend group, Jane moves on from pued and starts dating dr fai, tanbun still adopts sorawit and that at some point

#manner of death #tanbun #tanbunn #mod #tanbunn au #manner of death au

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scandeniall · 4 years ago

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Let’s Make a Song

Pairing: rnbsinger!atsumu x rnbsinger!reader

Summary/warnings: ur long term on again off again bf Atsumu wants to do your first song together. Thing is you’re currently off/honestly just cursing. 1 tiny implied nsfw sentence. Literally 1

the 2nd piece in rnb!haikyuu bc why tf not. Other

a/n: The song that’s written is change by Arin Ray & Kehlani (that’s also the cover art mentioned later)

Wc: 2.8K

When your manager relayed the invitation to collaborate with Atsumu you were rather surprised. He didn’t do many new collaborations, reserving those for people he’d worked with in the past. Then there was the fact that he hadn’t asked you personally. The two of you were more than acquainted and he definitely had your phone number. But then again it’d been months since you’d last had any contact.

The two of you had been on and off again for the larger part of your careers, meeting in high school and building a friendship for years. A year after graduation you’d decided to make the switch from friendship to relationship. And it worked. The two of you both wanted to pursue music and understood one another. You were one another’s number one fan, muse, and confidant as you grew in popularity.

He’d gotten signed before you but neither of you thought it would change things. Then he started being around less and less getting busy recording his first studio album while you continued to work independently. He’d still come back to you at the end of the night. However that was short lived thus bringing about the first of many splits over the years. It was mutual—things were too busy to give the love someone deserved.

During that first split you’d ended up getting signed yourself. In only a few months you were immediately thrusted into the same professional world as Atsumu and that brought the two of you back together. He’d seen the announcement post on social media and paraded over to yours that night rambling about the betrayal of you not telling him you were in talks with a label. He’d bought over dinner and the two of you got back to talking consistently and rekindled in mere weeks.

That had been at 19. Now at 23 the two of you were still a roller coaster. You’d broken up for a number of reasons over the years. Busy schedules, his ego, your attitude, internet rumors mixed with poor communication, poor timing, you name it. Yet the two of you always found your way back like magnets.

You weren’t quite sure what you expected when you agreed to doing a song with Atsumu, who you were currently off with. In all your years, the two of you had never done a song together. Sure you’d fucked around with writing a few times but neither of you ever used any of those songs. You two had different styles, him focusing more on heavy bass, and reminiscent on the SoundCloud style. Meanwhile you were more soulful and melodic.

You hadn’t even so much as texted atsumu in like three months So of course it was a surprise when you made your way to his for a writing session to see the lyrics he’d already come up with. Lyrics that just by the way he read them to you, were clearly about you.

you’ve got me all in my feelings And I know you get tired of running You stole my heart and I mean it When we break up, can’t wait to make up

“That’s all I got so far,” he sighed leaning back on the couch next to you. “What do ya think”

“It’s different from your usual shit. It’s softer.” You ignore the scoff he sends you and sit back on the couch before he starts complaining. “But I like it. What was the inspiration.” You’re not even sure why you asked. Maybe it was the desire to have confirmation that you really have been the one all these years. There was still a chance it could’ve been someone else

“And you say yer the smart one between us,” is all he says before grabbing his laptop off the coffee table. “I got this beat too. Suna sent it over this morning and I think I wanna use it.” You choose to ignore his confirmation as you begin to get comfortable against the couch. He plays the instrumental and it only further surprises you from just how different it was from his usual. It was undoubtedly more your style and you're almost offended that your friend hadn’t sent you the beat instead. “Ya like it?”

“Could you play it back.” You begin to hum along a few nonsensical words to yourself and you’re aware of Atsumu’s eyes on you. He watches as you hit the voice record on your phone, already aware that you do that in case you say something that you like. You try to think back to what he started with and He moves his notebook closer to you so you can get a better view of the words messily scribbled.

You can’t keep coming and going In and out of my life please make up your fucking mind I give you time and you kill it

Immediately after that he pauses much to your annoyance and ignores your complaint. “I like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Sounds like yer replying back. Like a conversation,” he nods. “Is that really how ya feel about me?” You don’t miss the way he tries to subtly put his arm around the back of the couch and subsequently you. And your laugh.

“God you’re annoying Atsumu.” You end up caving, moving the laptop back to the table in front of you and moving under his waiting arm. You can’t even deny the way you like it either, comforted by the way his hand rubs up and down your arm. “Is that how you feel about us,” you challenge referring to the lyrics he’d come up with

“Course. I look forward to making up ya know.” He chuckles and the look of faux disgust you send him before continuing. “But I mean it. Ya got my heart and have for years.” The words are paired with a kiss to your temple.

You two sit in silence for a few moments before you break it with a sigh. “I’m tired of this shit Tsumu. It’s been years of us and this and the older I get, the more draining it is. I wonder all the time if I should stay or just leave for good.” It’s the first time you’ve ever admitted it to anyone other than yourself, and it’s to the person that has the power to break your heart at any given moment. The only small comfort is that you know it’s mutual and that you hold his as well.

“If you’re tired then write it out (Y/N). It’s part of the reason I asked ya to do a song.” He nudges you to sit up and catches your eye. “I think about ya way too fucking much and I’ve thought about if shit between us was worth it too.” He looks like he’s in through for a moment before quickly grabbing his notebook scribbling for a minute before showing you.

thinking of you is all I do honestly I might go insane cause when we break up can’t wait to make up Some things will never change

He’s playing the instrumental before you can say anything waiting until a certain part and signaling for you to just wait. Then his voice softly fills your ears as he goes into the words and points at you to follow up with what you’d sung before. As you near the end you gesture for him not to stop it yet

It’s very personal to me That you give it everything Should I stay? Should I go? Should I leave? I don't know.

After that your mind blanks and you reach over to pause the track. It felt good. Really good. “I think I have my verse,” you exclaim. “And what if we repeat your part. Maybe starting from thinking of you” you half mumble the words already writing away at your own notebook. You don’t even notice the look Atsumus giving you until you look back up minutes later after humming along and trying to string the words together. “What”

“It’s nothin. Just love watching ya write that’s all.” You end up shooting him a soft smile before focusing back on the words in front of you. “Actually, this beat is more you than me so did ya wanna do the bridge”

That causes you to look up in confusion. “Are you sure? It’s your song. It’d be weird for me to have a bigger part?” Atsumu is brushing off the question of you asking him to be serious. You didn’t want to step on any toes or offend anyone.

“If it’s that big a deal to ya we can go back n forth or somthin’.” His eyes question yours for a moment before smiling in victory at your agreeing. “Besides, Suna was gonna send it to ya anyways. Paid him to let me have it instead. Didn’t take much just-Ow!” HES quickly cut off by your fist coming into contact with his shoulder. “Why’d ya-“

“You’re an ass, did you know that,” you roll your eyes in response. No wonder the beat was so different from his usual. Because the track wasn’t meant for him. You’d have to bitch at Suna later for giving the track to Atsumu of all people. And for who knows what kind of lowball offer it was. “Wanna tell me why you did that. Or I can leave. Your choice” you’re closing your notebook at this point shifting away from him a bit.

“I missed ya.” It’s the only thing he says before your scoffing and getting off the couch and starting to gather your things. “I’m serious (Y/N).” The feeling of his hand grabbing at yours causes you to stop. “I kept thinking about us and couldn’t Bring myself to text. I got Suna to give me the track cause I wanted to see ya and talk.”

“Why couldn’t you just text?”

“I can say it better in a song. And I know you can too. Now c’mon don’t go alright?” You allow him to tug you back down onto the couch with a sigh. He wasn’t necessarily wrong. You’d wanted to settle things between you both once and for all for a while now. He just provided the opportunity. You both needed to know if you were just wasting time.

“Listen. If ya wanna talk about it outside of the song let’s go for a drive then.”

“First you steal my beat to get me to come over, now you wanna trap me in a car with you?” Atsumu only looks at you unbothered before you sigh. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”

“If it’s that bad, you know how to tuck and roll. I might slow down enough.” —-

“Atsumu what are we doing,”

He doesn’t even spare you a glance before responding. “Driving.” When you don’t reply he lets out a sigh before giving a real answer. “Do you still love me?”

“Yes,” it’s like you answer before your brain even ponders the question. “Do you still love me?”

“Wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t.” His words are just as confident. He shoots you a quick glance before continuing. “I wanna get back together. For good this time. Heard about yer date with that Semi guy.”

Your breath hitches for a moment. While you’re not surprised that he knew about the date last month, you didn’t think he’d mention it. You’d woken up the morning after notifications crazy. Pictures of the two of you filled them and many of the tweets had actually tagged Atsumu as well.

“We weren’t together so ya don’t have to go explaining anything,” he stops you from your attempt at an apology. “Of course i'm not sure what ya saw in that guy. But it made me realize that yer the one I want. Always been the one.” He shrugs before the hand closest to you comes to rest on your thigh. “And I’ve always been the one for you too right?”

“Are you serious about wanting to make us work this time?” His hand leaves your leg for the wheel again and you watch in confusion as he makes a few sudden turns. He mutters something about giving him a few minutes before pulling into a random parking lot. He shuts the car off before unbuckling so he can turn his entire body to face you. “What are you doing Atsumu?”

“Move in with me.” You’re looking at him like he’s grown another head before he continues. “My lease with Samu is almost up and he’s been wanting to move closer to his shop and I wanna be closer to a studio. I’m serious about us and I just think-“

“Would you actually help with boxes or just sit on your ass and watch?”

The questions cause him to frown a bit in thought and you can’t help but laugh as he actually interprets the words and what they really mean. You could tell the exact moment he gets it and a lazy smirk settles on his face instead. “No promises babe. I kinda like watching ya walk away.”

The way his face eased closer to yours had you following his lead until your lips met. You can feel yourself smiling as one of his hands comes to cup your jaw. The kiss is sweet, lips moving slowly against yours in a reunion of sorts. “Stay over tonight we can work on the song again tomorrow.” He pulls away just enough to insist, resting his forehead against yours.

“Already told Samu so he’s bringing enough dinner home. And I got a new toothbrush in the bathroom.”You lean to peck his lips before sitting back in the seat. “You knew this would happen didn’t you.” Despite the accusation you find yourself agreeing with no hesitation.

“I hoped. It’s a difference babe. If not, more food for me” his hand quickly grabs yours to place a kiss on your own before settling back on the wheel. “Let’s get back I’m starvin”

—— “Are yer eyes closed? Are you sure? Don’t peek-“

“Hurry up Atsumu,” you groan as you allow him to lead you to god knows where. The song you’d guys finished a few weeks ago was set to release in a few hours and Atsumu refused to let you see the song cover. It was a surprise, or so he told you every time you tried to ask. Even in his new song tease on twitter he just posted blank images. New song with a surprise guest coming soon ;)

He’d had you meet him at his label and jumped on you the second you stepped into the building blindfold in hand and stupid grin on his face. “Don’t act like this is a new thing for ya,” he’d whisper in your ear as he tied the blindfold and laughed when you attempted to hit at him and miss.

“Stop complaining before I make you wait until the songs officially out. We’re almost there” you feel his hand leave yours before it’s placed on your back. You can hear a door open before he instructs you in. “Small step up.” With your restricted sight your hearing has seemed to increase tenfold. You can hear the sound of blinds opening and him moving around. “One second babe.”

After a few more moments and complaints for him to hurry up a pair of arms wrap around your waist. Leaning into the warmth you feel his lips kiss up your neck before stopping. “You can look now.”

It takes a moment for your eyes to spot it. First your eyes dart around the room to see nothing out of the ordinary save for a table with a champagne bottle. Then one of his arms points toward the window and you freeze in shock. “Atsumu is this?” You turn to look at him expectedly as he nods and pushes you near it. From the window of the building you see the cover art plastered on a billboard.

“Where did you find that?”

Atsumu’s voice grows closer as he stops next to you. “Our mom came down a while ago. Had some shit to deliver and brought some scrapbooks. It was in there.” You nod in understanding before he continues. “Ya like it?”

The picture was one from years ago. He’d just gotten signed and that weekend you and a few friends went on a road trip to celebrate. That particular picture had been taken on a Polaroid as you two were outside supposedly star gazing. On the mountain of blankets it was clear that his attention was more on you than the sky. It was one of your favorite pictures for a while then eventually you had broken up (for the first time) and it was long forgotten.

“Love it. Brings back memories you know?” You don’t even notice he’d gone to pour you a glass before he's dangling off in front of your face.

“Here’s to our first song together babe”

bonus things

yall actually filmed a music vid (this isnt included bc i am only now finding out theres a mv despite having this song in my music for a year)

he tweets the song link with “decided to stay”

atsumu ends up buying suna a ps5 game he wanted as a thank you (not w/o complaining though)

ppl on the internet arent even surprised that yall are back together (theyre tired too tf)

atsumu ends up putting that polaroid in his clear phone case <3

this is yall 6th time getting back together (yall keep trying HUH lmfao. but yall never actually ended on bad terms and always stayed friend)

you end tweeting a joke “ok last time yall i promise LMFAO”

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu imagines #hq imagines #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #rnb!hq #im starting a tag for it i guess LMFAO #its almost 3 am time for my usual post and dip mwah see yall next year #atsumu imagine

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petersasteria · 4 years ago

Note

🛍 - “It's sexier when a girl is flirty but she doesn't do anything.” and Haz O. Also, I love the barbie theme!

Thank you! I really love this theme and I’m really proud of it. I’m so sorry this took forever sksks

🛍 FANCY… send me your favorite Paris Hilton quote and your fave boy (Tommy H, Harry H, Haz O, Peter P, Arvin R [it prolly doesn’t fit the theme, but imma make it work for Arvin]) and I’ll write smth about it

Osterfield!Reader bc we need more of this shit.

“I just don’t get it, Y/N. Does she like me or not? Her signals are mixed. It’s sexier when a girl is flirty, but she doesn’t do anything.” Harrison huffed before downing his shot.

“It’s weird how you’re the one coming to ME for relationship advice. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? You’re my older brother for Pete’s sake.” You chuckled and sipped on your drink. Harrison frowned at you and you rolled your eyes.

“Fine. Tell me again.” You lifted your right hand and moved it in a circular motion, gesturing for him to repeat the story.

“Okay so, I asked her out. Of course, we went on a date and during the date, I kept making things flirty, but she totally dismisses it!” Harrison said.

“But you said she was giving you signals?” You were now confused. “What kind of signals was she giving?”

“Well, she was eyeing me up and down and then when the date ended, she said that it was nice to meet me and that she’ll call me.” Harrison said. “It’s been a week now and she still hasn’t called.”

You pursed your lips and nodded, “Yeah, she won’t call you.”

“Until when?”

“Hm, lemme see... until- FOREVER.” You exclaimed. “She doesn’t like you, Haz. Girls say that all the time. I know that because I’ve done it to everyone. Guys say that shit too. We always tell the other that we’d call, but we won’t. It’s kind of like applying for a job or going to an audition.”

“You thought you’ve given your all, but at the end, they’ll say shit like ‘thanks for coming in! We’ll call you.’ and that’s fancy talk for ‘you’re not fit for this part and we’ll call you never’.” You explained.

“What? That’s not true.” Harrison shook his head.

“Really? Have you ever been told that after an audition?” You asked.

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“Did you get the part?”

“No.”

“See? It’s the same with dating. If they say that they’ll call you, they most likely won’t. If they really like you, they’d do something about it.” You said.

“Or what if she’s waiting for me to call her?” Harrison asked.

“Trust me, she’s not waiting for your call.” You chuckled.

“Then why is my phone vibrating? It’s her!” Harrison showed you his phone and sure enough, the girl’s caller ID was there.

“That’s a butt-dial.”

“What if it’s not?”

“Wanna bet? Loser has to buy the next round.” You challenged.

“Fine.” He said and quickly answered and put it on speaker. “Hey, Amber! I was waiting for your ca-”

“Oh, fuck! Right there!” A girl moaned.

“Shit, Amber. I’m close.” A guy said.

Harrison looked at you and you were holding back your laughter. He hung up the phone and wordlessly ordered the next round of drinks.

“She’s just not into you, that’s all. You’re not her type and this is a good thing! You didn’t waste your time by going on another date.” You shrugged and pat his back.

“That’s true.” He sighed and drank his beer.

“You’ll find another girl soon. There are tons of girls out there.” You smiled at him.

“You’re right.” Harrison smiled too. “Besides, I have you, mum, and Charlotte. You ladies are enough for me for now.”

“You’re so fucking cheesy.”

“Love you too sis.”

* * * *

𝐇𝐀𝐙 𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland @silencetheslaves @imeanlifesabitshit @joyleenl @hjoficrecs @blueleatherbag @poguesholland @harryismysunflower @lonikje @lizzyosterfield @turtoix @badreputationlove @starlight-starks @swiftmind @sovereignparker @pearce14 @justanamesstuff @chewymoustachio @cocoamoonmalfoy @hazmyheart @euphorichxlland

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell @justasmisunderstoodasloki @rubberducky-jrr @petersholland @osterfieldnholland @miraclesoflove @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @perspectiveparker @hollands-weasley @itstaskeen @call-me-baby-gir1 @the-panwitch @iamaunicorn4704 @chloecreatesfictions @holland-styles @halfblood-princess-505 @spidey-reids-2003 @whatthefuckimbisexual @justanothermarvelmaniac @unsaidholland @musicalkeys @lost-in-the-stars03 @hufflepuffprincess24 @hollanddolanfangirl @parkerpeter24 @bellelittleoff @agentnataliahofferson

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daesungindistress · 4 years ago

Note

i left bb behind quite a bit ago, but i was a fan for so long that i kind of sub consciously think of them. so when i saw that shinee announced a comeback so soon after enlistment i couldnt help but think oh... they did it just like That. how come bb couldnt comeback as well? why do they have to rely on concerts n coachella n all those sorts of things. other groups have been coming back as normal during covid so... it's not that. but now ive seen this gd post n ive read what youve written and i think they really must be waiting for s****ri and for a space to open up where mostly international vip are. ot5 bb won't survive in korea and bc of the pandemic thats really the only option they have in terms of promotions/concerts rn. it might also be that theyre just trying to figure it out amongst themselves. like what Do they want to do. do they hope if they wait long enough he may be cleared n they can get the max amount of fans still being around? are they afraid of the public? are they just as confused as we are? are they themselves split by who still supports him and who doesn't? i imagine it can't be an easy.

I’ve had the same thoughts re: their inactivity, however, keep in mind Shinee didn’t go through what Big Bang did during their enlistment. I mean... yes, they lost a member in 2017, I’m aware of that, but that was... different, and tragic in its own way. It didn’t send the public’s or their fans’ perception of them down the drain, didn’t fill the people who needed to be there for them when/if they came back with disgust and distrust the way Big Bang’s scandals have. Case in point: about two months after the last of the BB members were discharged from the army, Youngbae was the first to give a public sit-down interview and was told straight-up by the interviewer that the general opinion of the group was “It’s too soon [for a comeback].”

This came up as they were discussing Coachella. Coachella. To be invited was an honor. BB should have been elated by the opportunity to represent their country on one of the world’s biggest stages, and from Youngbae’s words it sounded like they wanted to be. Prior to enlistment and the series of scandals that followed I have no doubt Korea would have stood behind them with enthusiasm. Yet there he was, facing resistance from his own people who weren’t ready to receive them -- or from someone speaking on their behalf, anyway. Talk about taking the wind out of one’s sails.

Reminder: Youngbae was under the impression that they were invited to perform at Coachella under the theme reunion. And they accepted. As four.

When COVID happened and Coachella did not, that didn’t really leave Big Bang anywhere to go. I truly believe that was supposed to be their big break. Their new debut, if you will. It was their best chance to break back onto the music scene in a huge way people couldn’t help but be impressed by. The surest road back to something resembling respect for a group so in shambles. Add to that their status as one of YG’s “event groups,” utilized every time in true go-big-or-go-home fashion, until Big Bang can arrange something else of a similar scale the lack of a schedule throughout 2020, a year in which they couldn’t hold a single concert with a crowd, makes perfect sense to me.

I am not upset with BB personally for still being on hiatus. YG manages their public affairs, not their private ones, and we are of course still in the grip of a global pandemic. Never forget Daesung’s comment during his Dome Tour (this may not be verbatim but it’s close): “I don't decide when I come back, the company does.” What I’m upset about is the way they’ve been so ghostly quiet in the absence of a schedule. It’s how they’ve all but acted like the group doesn’t exist, even on their own time. Again, YG manages their public affairs, not their private ones. So why the silence?

But then, when they don’t have new content to share (or do have it but aren’t allowed to share it yet), and when sharing anything from the past sends all manner of mixed signals and provokes mixed reactions... you’re right about one thing. It can’t be easy.

So yeah, your concerns are valid and sometimes I too start feeling a little weak and fall prey to the same doubts. But then I review everything that’s led to where we are now and I’m not convinced that the lack of official group activity can be reasonably viewed as evidence of waiting for you-know-who. And I don’t think it’s right to compare them to other groups. Within Big Bang everyone except Youngbae has been embroiled in heavy controversy while they were enlisted from 2017-2019. So consider Burning Sun and the loss of a member of 12 years the proverbial nail in the coffin, and even as four, a Big Bang comeback was always going to be like making their way back from the dead, out of a swamp, up a cliff, through a minefield, and... well. You get the picture.

#ask #anon #bigbang

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ncityislove · 4 years ago

Text

The Jury is Out Ch. 3

➳Pairing: Renjun x Reader x Jeno (ft a few other Dreamies)

➳Genre: Angsty fluff but mostly angst lol basically enemies to lovers

➳Word Count:4.6k

Hiiii guys! It’s been over a year since I started this series and this has taught me so many things. Mainly, how much I can not be trusted to start and finish a series lol. The last two chapters will be out soon. I really mean it this time.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

There's an awful pounding in your head from the looming headache you didn't see going away anytime soon. Your over-bearing thoughts being added into the mix is plain unbearable as you wait for your first class to start and your sour mood only worsens when you recall the unfolding of yesterday's events. The strong sense of shame was overwhelming like a dark cloud hanging over your head. How did you get here? Your biggest mistake was letting your guard down to the likes of Renjun. That's where it all went wrong. You try telling yourself you don't need him as a friend. You have Jeno. But you can't silence the desire in your heart to have something more than a partnership. You'd gotten a taste of what's it like to be under the warm rays of his kindness after being on the receiving end of the endless blizzard of the cold reign he had over you and the entire school. That wasn't something you could just forget.

When Renjun arrives, he takes his place right next to you, unpacking his items as if it were the most normal thing in the world. You don't know why he isn't sitting in his usual seat when you didn't have a lab today. You frown but silently remove your bag from the chair next you, nonetheless.

He sits down eagerly, glancing at you a moment longer than socially acceptable. "I like your hair."

Your hands immediately grip the strands. After the party, you decided to forgoes the ponytail and headband combo that you'd been sporting for so long. "Oh, um, thanks."

Was that a compliment just now?

"Where were you yesterday, by the way?"

"I was sick, so I missed first period," he states, not even missing a beat.

Unbelievable. He's lying straight to your face. You frown distastefully.

"That's not what Chenle had to say."

"Hm? Chenle? He's always pulling pranks—I wouldn't buy anything that comes out of his mouth," he laughs.

You glare at him for a moment. "You didn't get my texts messages?"

He smiles sheepishly. "Oh...sorry about that. I was...um...busy?"

You turn the other way to discretely roll your eyes. "Are you okay at least?"

"Yeah, never better!"

You shake your head, not wanting to seem like you actually cared despite the fact that deep down you knew you did. It's crazy that all it took was one little afternoon alone together and suddenly Renjun matters to you. All those years of being at each other's throats out the window. Just like that. It was different now. You were more mindful of each other's feelings and it's even gotten to the point where you're receiving compliments. It was a change that you still hadn't adjusted to but maybe it wasn't as lousy as you made it seem. The horrible excuses and lies weren't something you were fond of but it's not like you were friends so you kept that to yourself. You just wished he'd tell you the truth or even hearing that he didn't want to talk about it would've been fine. You didn't see why he had to lie...

You had to remind yourself that you shouldn't be so concerned with Renjun. It was weirding you out that you were thinking about him so much lately. As much as you hated to admit it, you might've maybe felt something for him in that teeny split second after you made up on the field. You never really noticed how funny he was bc you were always the butt of the joke but it turns out he was pretty hilarious. And his voice was so sweet and calming you could probably listen to it forever. But whatever it was—that moment your heart skipped a beat— was gone. It was crazy to even think—there was no way you'd ever say that out loud. Clearly, Renjun would never reciprocate.

If only Haven could see you now.

Renjun turns his body toward you, giving you his full attention. "Are we meeting at the track after school?"

"I have volleyball practice but we can meet after, if you want."

"Yeah, cool," he says, looking pleased.

"Are you sure you're okay though?"

The question had been on your mind since yesterday. Maybe something happened with his dad and he didn't want to say anything. According to Jeno, he didn't talk about that stuff much but you still wanted to make sure he was okay.

"Huh?" he looks at you strange. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Are you sure? I mean, you can tell me if you're not." You regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth.

He snickers, his face glowing with a big smile. "Are you worried about me?"

You scowl to hide your panic. What was happening to you? "As if," you scoff.

"Aww, you care about me! Who knew the coldest person in the world had a heart?" he pinches your cheek.

You violently slap his hand away and he jerks back.

"Don't!" you point a finger in his face. "touch me. Never again. Got it?"

"Alright," Renjun chuckles lightly. "My bad. Whatever you say."

When class starts, the teacher pulls up her usual PowerPoint and you begin messily jotting down the first slide. She seems to be in a rush as she breezes over every slide, making it difficult to write down everything in time.

Renjun nudges your arm. You look to see him offering you a piece of gum. You reject it, mouthing a 'no thanks' with a polite smile and scramble to write down the rest of the slide. He purses his lips, taking a piece for himself, leisurely writing his notes.

A few minutes later, he nudges your arm again. "You got any led?"

Your nostrils flare as you let out a sigh, pulling out your pencil pouch for him to find the kind of led he needs. You pick your pencil back up to continue your notes.

"Thanks," he whispers. "Hey, did you get that last slide?"

"Oh my god, no, Renjun!" you whisper-shout at him. "How could I have gotten the last slide when you keep distracting me??"

He starts to giggle and it you get even more heated that he found pleasure in this. You're just to about to curse him out in every language known to man when Mrs. Brookes stops her lesson.

"What's going on back there?" she peers down her bi-focals to stare you down. "__, would you like to tell me what the main parts of the brain are?"

"Umm," you hesitate, your eyes scanning over the board. It must I've been on the last slide--which you didn't get the chance to copy thanks to Renjun.

Mrs. Brooks looks at you impatiently and the class turns to look at you as well when you take too long to answer.

"Cerebellum, frontal lobe, parietal lobe, cerebrum, and the thalamus," Renjun answers, ultimately saving your ass.

"Very good! Thank you, Renjun. Now, as I was saying..." Mrs. Brookes turns back to the whiteboard and continues rambling on about the brain.

"I thought you didn't get the last slide?" you whisper.

"Just because I didn't write it down doesn't mean I wasn't paying attention."

You stare at the side of his face in disbelief and you can tell by the way his cheeks were lifted he was smiling.

Renjun sits with you again in third period. You scoot your stuff over, once again saying nothing. This was getting a little too odd. If you weren't friends why did he keep sitting next to you? You weren't friends, were you? You decide not to ask. Sadie seemed like the right person to confide this type of stuff into. Your desks were too close together which made Renjun's knee touch yours. You wouldn't have noticed any other time but this time in particular it was hard to not to.

"You should sit with me at lunch from now on."

Definitely getting mixed signals here.

"Why?"

"We're partners. It only makes sense, you know?"

"But we've been partners for years," you interject.

He opens his mouth then closes it. "Well, yeah that's true...but you still should. I won't force you to but I'll be really upset if you don't."

"Upset?" you repeat with a tilt of your head. In what universe would he get upset over anything you did that didn't have to do with you scoring higher than him on an assignment? You didn't understand why he was acting so weird today.

"Yeah and if I get upset, I won't be able to focus on the booth." his tone is sad and it tugs at your heart for some reason.

"Well...if that's the case, I'll do it. For the sake of the booth."

He smiles triumphantly. "Right. For the booth."

The kid who usually sits next to you walks over and stands there awkwardly before he finds an empty seat somewhere else. You try not to laugh at how uncomfortable Renjun looks. Class goes by smoothly this time, Renjun only bugging you every once in a while to compare answers on your worksheet. When the bell rings, you and Renjun walk to lunch together. He's talking to you about the Pythagorean theorem but you keep getting distracted by the odd looks people keep giving you in the hall. You weren't used to getting this much attention. You're existence was pretty much irrelevant unless something happened with your rivalry and it was usually only gossip worthy if he had done something incredibly embarrassing to you. Renjun, being the top of the class and being friends with almost all the members in the the school sports teams on the other hand, was very popular. You couldn't begin to imagine the confusion you two were causing just by walking to into the cafeteria together. He was always the center of attention and much like Sadie, he was born likeable. It was easy for him to make friends and juggle the delicate balance of having a social life and performing well academically. You were a nobody compared to him and up until now you were fine with that. It was easier to focus on your studies without the distractions from others and what drama friendships with others would bring but you had to admit having someone to walk to lunch with was strangely nice. Jisung is the first person to see you coming, a look of recognition crossing his face. Chenle was next; he smiles sending you a friendly wave. You say hello, sitting your tray down next to Jeno and Renjun sits on the other side of you.

"Hey, beautiful, what're you doing here?" Jeno asks.

You flush at the pet name. "I think as Renjun's partner, we should take advantage of the free time we have to work together."

"Oh god, you two are so much alike," Haechan groans.

"I think it's cute," Chenle beams.

Jaemin fake gags and everyone bursts into laughter except for you who didn't find it all that funny.

The laughter dies down.

"Will you be spending all of your free time with Renjun?" Jeno asks.

"Of course not," you wrinkle your nose at the silly question.

"In that case, would you like to go out on a date? How's tonight?"

You drop your carton of milk on the table that thankfully you hadn't opened it yet. You must've misheard him. You know the words he said to you and yet, you couldn't believe they were meant for you. Your stammer for words. Any words. But they don't come and the whole table is staring at you in anticipation.

"I...can't. I have practice after school and then I have to work on the booth. I'm sorry."

The boys "ooh" in unison like a bunch of fifth graders.

"It's not like that!" you scramble to fix your words. "We can go another day?"

Jeno's eyes disappear as he gives you the most heartwarming smile. You can't help but smile back at him.

Chenle clears his throat. "What do you think about that, Renjun?"

Renjun's picking at the edge of his foam tray when he shrugs. "I couldn't care less."

Chenle gives him a glare as if he's trying to convey some message to him but Renjun doesn't meet his eyes so he elbows the crap out of him.

"Argh!" he rubs his arm. "Fine. I admit I don't approve."

The table gets quiet. You and Jeno share the same expression of surprise.

Jeno juts out his chin. "Why not? And don't say she's too good for me."

"Renjun clenches his fists. "It'll distract __ from school and I don't think that's what she wants."

Jeno snorts. "It's just one date. I think she'll be fine. And when we do become a couple—which we will, I'll make sure of that—I won't distract from her school work."

"Yeah, but I don't think—"

"Plus, you used to have a girlfriend—what's the difference?"

The atmosphere tenses at the mention of Haven and Jeno looks sorrowful as the boys send him ferocious looks.

"Shit...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"When does practice end?" Renjun changes the subject.

You're still confused as to what's going on. "Who? Me?"

"Yes, you, dummy," he grins.

You ignore the fact that he just called you a dummy. "It ends at four but I can leave early."

"Mind if I come and watch?" Jeno asks.

"Sure!" you get excited at the thought of Jeno watching you play.

"No fair! I wanna come too!" Jisung exclaims.

Jaemin reaches out to pat him on the shoulder. "Absolutely not. You're not going anywhere near those girls, you pervert."

You crack up at the two, unaware of the concerned look Chenle's giving Renjun as he silently scribbles dark circles in his notebook.

You arrive to the school gym, hauling the equipment the coach had you fetch. The girls are all huddled in a circle, gossiping most likely. You set up the net and clear the court of the smelly matts that were left behind from a previous class. You could ask for help but you were sure no one wanted to.

You break up their little party after you get another text of instructions from the coach.

"Ladies, coach says she's not coming until the end of practice so we're starting without her. Let's start stretching, okay?"

The girls spread out and begin to warm up and you join them. Everyone's following instructions except for Haven, who's still standing in the same spot.

"Haven," you say in a warning tone.

"Why can't we just hang out until coach gets here? She doesn't have to know."

Her smile is innocent but you know there's nothing innocent about the girl.

Everyone agrees, the room filling with murmurs.

You already sense anger rising in your body. It seems like every time Haven opened her mouth, it was always to go against you. Maybe her and Renjun were the perfect couple after all.

"Guys, c'mon. If we slack off, we'll throw the next game and lose our winning streak."

"No way, skipping one day of practice won't cost us some measly game. You're being a little dramatic, don't 'ya think?"

"Some measly game?" you repeat.

"You don't even care about winning. Haven, you don't care about this team at all—why should any of us listen to you? I am captain of this team, in case you've forgotten."

"Oh god here we go again," she sighs. "That's just a title. That doesn't make you the boss of me."

"Oh, yes it does. I can get your ass kicked off the team with one word. Coach trusts me, all I have to do is say it. Should I have a chat with her when gets here?"

Haven gets as red as a tomato, her lips poking out in an ugly pout. You almost laugh at how childish she is. It was a mystery how people adore her so much when she's got such an ugly attitude.

"Since you all agree with Haven, let's do ten laps. C'mon."

Everyone gives Haven dirty looks as they get up and start their laps.

"Let's go girls, I'd like to get this over with so we can start practice." you clap your hands to speed them up. "And Haven? You get an extra ten laps."

Haven flips you off before she runs off but you don't really care. At least, she was listening to you for once. You hear a door slam upstairs and Jeno struts in, taking a seat at the back of the bleachers. He's smiling as he waves to you, giving you a thumbs up. You can't help but match his smile as you wave back.

When everyone's finished their laps and done their stretches, you split them into two teams. You're opposing Haven's team and boy, do they suck. They're losing embarrassingly bad and you're not even the one who's hitting the ball. One of your best players, Sana, was dragging the other team through the mud. Mina and Momo always made sure the ball got passed to her and when she swung her fists, the ball connected with the ground every time. Haven hated lots of things but you knew most of all, she hated to lose. This was the only reason you haven't kicked her off yet. She wasn't the best player—not even close—but she did like to win. You don't know what made her join the team in the first place but she did and she always tried to win when it really came down to it.

You switch positions on both sides, you serving the ball this time. You throw the ball up high, spreading your fingers apart as you raise your hand and slam your palm against it so hard, there's a loud thud that echoes through the gym. The other team throws themselves to save the ball but their efforts are in vain. The ball is too fast for them. Applause comes from the top right corner of the room and everyone turns to look at Jeno. You pretend you don't notice him, calling the ball back but your flushed face exposes you anyway.

Jeno whoops and cheers every time you scored a point, and let's be real, with the skills you have, that means it happens a lot. You never had someone who wasn't your parents or your coach cheer you on like this and it was something you found you really enjoy. You could get used to this. For a moment you let yourself imagine him attending your future games. Your stomach fills with butterflies and you could almost hear him calling your name when you dive to save the ball.

"Why's Jeno here?" Haven whispers to to one of her friends. "Since when was __ close to Jeno?"

You smirk, waving Jeno over after letting everyone take a short break. The two of you laugh and talk for a bit, ignoring the cold stare Haven's giving you in the distance. She was in a bitchy mood today and you weren't going to let that ruin your time with Jeno. Her witchy attitude has peaked since the first time Renjun invited you to his table. Maybe she was jealous. She probably was still hurting from the break up you assumed but that had nothing to do with you.

Jeno walks you to the track field where you find Renjun, who's already gotten a head start. His jacket is thrown over his bookbag and you take notice for the first time how toned his arms are with his sleeves rolled up. He looks up when hears your footsteps, the smile on his face slowly fading when he notices Jeno next to you.

"Oh great. What are you doing here?"

You laugh at his displeased expression. "He's just leaving, calm down."

"Actually," he interjects. "since I'm here, why don't I stay and help out?" Jeno proposes.

"Oh!" you let out an excited squeal you didn't know you were capable of. "That's great idea! Yes!"

"Absolutely not!" Renjun rolls his eyes. "Go home, Jeno. You'll just get in the way."

Jeno juts his bottom lip out and you have to keep yourself from swooning at how adorable he looks.

"Renjunie!" he whines. "I promise not to get in the way. Let me help?"

You give him pleading eyes behind Jeno's back. Renjun looks at you and grunts, muttering something inaudible as he starting hammering away at a slab of wood a little too hard.

"Yes!" Jeno takes off his jacket and gets to work.

"This is a one-time thing," Renjun declares, his back turned to the both of you.

"Right, right, got it," Jeno quickly agrees. "Let me help you with that," he runs over to carry the bucket of paint you were holding.

You watch him lug the heavy object to the table. "Oh, thanks, but I had it."

Renjun rolls his eyes again.

You find him repeatedly trying to get Jeno to go home as you work. Each and every time Jeno would laugh it off, calling him grumpy. You could tell his mood was off but you didn't want to bother him by asking why. He never told you those kinds of things anyway so why go through the trouble of asking? He never laughs when Jeno makes one of his famous jokes and he doesn't look at you when you speak to him. You wish he wouldn't be such a fun killer but he was almost always like this—even at parties, you've come to find out.

When you start to lose daylight, you decide to call it quits for the day.

"I think we can wrap up for now," you beam. "We're nearly finished thanks to Jeno."

Renjun's bag is already slung over his shoulder by the time you finish your sentence. "See ya."

"Yeah...I'll see you," you trail off as he sprints down the field.

"What's his problem?" Jeno asks aloud.

You shrug just as your phone starts to jingle that annoying ringtone you set it to over a year ago. You dig it out of your back pocket and read the caller ID. It's Sadie.

"Hello?'

"Hey! Listen, I'm so, so, sorry, I totally spaced about picking you up after school. I'm out with Jodie right now."

You can't help the displeased noise that comes from you at the sound of Jodie's name. "That's cool, I guess. I can just walk like I usually do."

"Are you sure? We can come and get you in about twenty minutes."

"We? Yeah, no thanks. I promise, I'll be fine."

"I promised mom and dad I'd pick you--hold on. Jodie, I'm on the phone...what?"

There's whispering then a short silence on the other line and you give Jeno an awkward smile.

"Um, okay, be safe walking. Sorry again! Bye!"

Click.

"So, you're walking home today."

"Yep. My sister conveniently forgot about my existence, so yeah, I'm walking."

Jeno's eyes light up. "Do you live close by? I can walk you home."

Your chest fills with warmth at the gesture. Lee Jeno. You had Lee Jeno offering to take you home. Renjun's bad attitude had left a nasty taste in your mouth but hanging out with Jeno sweetened your day just like that.

Renjun had a way of hurting you in ways no one else could. You didn't know why what he thought of you was so important to you, or why everything he had to say held such a huge weight. He wasn't exactly someone you were very fond of so who cares what he had to say? But Jeno. Jeno always had kind and encouraging words. He was the safe band-aid you needed after being cut by Renjun's blunt words. His razor sharp tongue and eyes for daggers always stung but Jeno protected you. He defended you.

So you say yes to his offer and you make the bold move of linking your elbows which Jeno reacts with a subtle pink tint in his cheeks. Your pace is slow to lengthen the journey, allowing you a chance to get to know each other a bit more.

As time progresses, you realize you had liked Jeno more than you initially thought you did. School had always kept you from exploring your feelings for him. Now, it was clear as ever how you felt about him. You'd turn into a bashful mess at every single flirty comment he'd make, which would only fuel him to flirt harder. He made good company and you wished you hadn't have waited so long to speak to Jeno. You couldn't remember the last time you were this engaged in a conversation with someone--disregarding the one time with Renjun because he's a jerk.

If this is what it's like to have a friend, you had been missing out all these years. He made you feel warm inside like those cheesy rom-coms Sadie loved so much.

His arm was tucked snugly into yours, your steps matching in pace as you neared the street you lived on. You could smell the pleasant fragrance Jeno wore from the close proximity and it brought you back to the night you were drunkenly dancing together. You still couldn't believe you drank alcohol but then again, who lives by a code of conduct in high school? Who was going to punish you for acting your age for once? On second thought your parents would probably ground you for life but that's not the point. The point is you're starting to learn what fun is. If you can't be the best then what's stopping you from enjoying life while you're still young? Looking at Jeno in the stark red haze the sky is dawning on him made you want to do just that. He made you want to live a normal life.

You playfully bump each other, cracking jokes until you reach the driveway of your residence with hesitance. You weren't ready to depart just yet.

"Well," you remove your arm from his. "This is me."

"Aww," he sigh a little. "Well it was nice walking with you."

"Yeah, you too. I'd invite you inside but no one's home and my parents would crucify me if I let you in."

You hadn't realized it but in the few seconds you had looked away, Jeno had gotten closer. Really close. You feel a rapid heat spread all over and you struggle to keep a normal expression.

Jeno smiles before grabbing your elbow to yank you even nearer, his eyes studying yours as he speaks his next words to you carefully.

"Do you wanna kiss me?"

Your mouth goes dry and all you could do is nod, numbly.

He cracks another smile and you were instantly mesmerized by the way his lips curls over his teeth and the thought of how his lips would feel on yours. Your heart stills for a moment. You shut your eyes with baited breath as his lips gets closer to yours.

Slowly, very slowly he kisses you. It was an odd but welcoming feeling, kissing a boy. But you liked it. And you liked Jeno.

Jeno removes himself from you after a few amazing seconds. You're still incredibly close to him and you can tell he's tempted to kiss you again but he holds himself back.

"Text me?"

You nod, maybe a little too eagerly but you didn't care. The hot temperature of his lips left a lingering impression on you and you had a feeling you won't ever be able to rid yourself of the memory.

He holds up a hand before he jogs off down the pale path of the sidewalk, unintentionally leaving you with a mass of confused and excited thought and a small voice in the back of your brain that wouldn't shut up about Renjun and his recent odd behavior.

#nct renjun #renjun fluff #huang renjun fluff #renjun fanfic #huang renjun #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #renjun angst #nct dream reactions #nct dream angst #nct dream #NCT #lee jeno #nct jeno fluff

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bigbrotherlouis · 4 years ago

Note

the bag of chips scene from 'i ate you up the day we first spoke' for the director's cut meme!

whoohoo i actually loved writing this scene and i’m so glad someone asked about it yeeee

(director’s cut meme)

everything eases back into normal. tk picks nolan up for practice, because nolan’s car is inexplicably always out of gas, (this is true, i read an article about it somewhere) and ties nolan’s ties for him on game days, and follows him into his living room to eat all the good snacks nolan hides on increasingly higher shelves.

“how did you even get those?” he asks when he comes out of the washroom and finds travis eating illegal all-dressed his mom had sent down in his last care package. he’s pretty sure they were hidden, like, on top of the cupboards this time. he literally had to throw them up there. (food, when you move countries, is a really big deal. i always want to keep the mutlicultural aspect of a lot of hockey players in mind, because i was a young multicutural person in the united states, and home foods is usually a good way to do it. all-dressed are pretty distinctly canadian, and my cousin gets her parents to send them to her in california, so i borrowed that from her. also i liked the image of TK climbing on the counters to try and get at a bag of chips.)

tk shrugs and crams a handful of chips into his mouth. “smart thinking.”

“those are mine.”

“i don’t see you eating them,” tk says smugly and nolan thinks about it for precisely point two seconds before he launches himself at the sofa. (no thoughts, head empty)

it’s a familiar ritual, this one. tk cackles, going limp so he can noodle off the cushions onto the floor, the bag still clamped in his hand. he scrabbles backwards until he’s out of reach of nolan’s admittedly long arms.

“sucks to suck, babe,” he gloats, except nolan is not emphatically giving up, those are his chips, and he’s not going to let his idiot of a best friend eat them all. tk grunts when nolan lands on his lower half, hard, and pins down his legs so he can’t escape. he sits on tk’s knees and ignores the yelling. (travis “has never shut up once in his life” konecny strikes again)

“mine,” he says savagely, snatching the bag out of his hands. tk huffs, shoving at his legs.

“it’s rude— not to— share— fuck, patty, what are you doing in the gym?”

“some of us don’t skip leg day.”

“yeah, well, some of us aren’t built like a fuckin’ ox,” tk complains, as if he’s not just as in shape as nolan is. “i can’t even fuckin’ pinch you because you’re wearing jeans.”

“now who’s the smart think— fuck!” (not you, pat. not tk either but still not you.) he shouts, flinching and rubbing at his side. that pinch is definitely going to bruise. tk uses it as a distraction to roll them, nolan’s shoulders thudding painfully against the floor, and straddles nolan’s stomach with his thighs. there’s another struggle but tk gets hold of nolan’s arms, pins them under his knees so nolan’s fists are at his sides. he’s effectively trapped. (too many nolans but what do you do when writing m/m. also this isn’t specific to this scene, but especially in hockey with all its nicknames, i like to write people’s internal narrative with whatever name they probably think of themselves as. that’s why nolan isn’t pat/patty here, and why tk is usually not travis)

“still me,” tk says, grinning at him with undisguised glee. he works the chips free and sits up, putting his weight just under nolan’s ribs so all the breath gets knocked out of him for a second.

“fucker,” nolan hisses, trying and failing to wriggle his way out. “what the fuck, teeks?”

“that’s what you get for not growing up with brothers, bro. gotta fight to survive. survival skills.”

“bud, you don’t even know. sisters have nails and they’re not fucking afraid to use them,” nolan says, his best murder glare in effect. he probably still has the scars in some places. (i know i do) tk snorts.

“sorry, i don’t see you scratching me here,” he says.

“let me go and i’ll scratch you up real good,” he threatens and then his brain catches up with his mouth, his face going red as he realises what he’s maybe implied. “uh.”

tk doesn’t take the obvious chirp, just raises an eyebrow. there’s a considering look on his face, one that makes nolan want to squirm more and it settles somewhere down deep in his stomach. (so i wrote this scene because i needed a turn for both of them, relationship-wise. iirc, there’s been a few places where tk’s interest might be noticeable, but nothing super concrete for pat or for the reader. meanwhile, on tk’s side, he needed clear signals that pat’s into him before he tries to tell him again.)

“uh,” he says again because his brain is just fucking offline and his arms are still locked under travis’ legs and travis burns hot because nolan can feel it against his skin, through his t-shirt, and this is all going to get incredibly, incredibly awkward in about three seconds. (unfortunately, i love a good run-on sentence to build tension) he’s pretty sure popping a boner because a teammate is sitting on you is, like, not something you can get away with by laughing.

tk shifts, sitting up the tiniest bit, and reaches out the hand that’s not currently occupied with the fuckin’ chips— probably all crushed to hell now, anyway (foreshadowing!! also strategic last mention here so we know that tk is still holding them, and then they aren’t mentioned until the shoe drops for optimal dramatic effect) — and brushes his fingers against nolan’s cheek. he traces the blush from his cheekbone carefully down his neck, pausing to thumb at his jaw, and then bumps his fingers against his collar, where it disappears down into his shirt. (i really liked building the tension here. also this is fully just projection bc i would love to touch patty’s blush once in my life)

“you’re glowing, pat,” he says, so soft, and it makes nolan go redder. he glowers at a spot by tk’s ear, unwilling to look him in the face and see whatever is written there. (would tk actually tell nolan he’s glowing? probably not, but fictionally it gives the reader a good picture of what nolan looks like to someone else. i didn’t want to overuse red-- which didn’t quite feel like a strong enough word-- or blush, so glowing it was.) tk hooks his index into the collar and there’s a moment when nolan thinks he’s going to pull it down, see if his blush goes all the way down his chest— it does, if he’s embarrassed enough. it’s fucking terrible— and he turns his head away, dragging in a breath through his nose. he’s, like, so incredibly fucked that he can’t even think about it without going dizzy. (you’ll probably see this a lot if you look for it in my writing, but i like to add in a “like” or something similarly bro-ish when things get particularly emotionally fraught, to keep it more realistic. also i think it’s funny. anyway, i like the contrast of tk not being able to take his eyes away from something he wanted and nolan not being able to look at it. characterisation, wahey!) it’s better to just not look.

of course, it’s the exact opposite of what tk wants.

“hey,” he says. “look at me.”

nolan refuses, a muscle ticking in his jaw. (this is hot to me idc) tk lets go of his collar to pull on his hair instead, just a little tug of a piece by his ear, and nolan can’t quite bite back the punched-out sound that he lets out. (also hot.)

“look at me,” tk says again, an edge to his voice, and nolan does. tk won’t stop until he does, he knows that well enough. (another look at their dynamic and how well they know each other) he lifts his chin, just a tiny bit, because he’s not going to do anything without a fight. tk’s hand tightens in his hair and it keeps him in place, nailed— ha— to the floor. (i write for the people whose brains make inappropriate jokes at the wrong moments) he couldn’t move if he wanted to, watches helplessly as tk leans down.

the hope in his chest is so thick, nolan thinks it might actually smother him, stop his heart. he’s breathing fast and shallow, almost on the verge of panting, and jesus fuck, isn’t that embarrassing. he’s so desperate, he could squirm with it and he briefly remembers travis months ago, writhing on his very rug and how much nolan wanted to help. he can smell snow again, sharp in the back of his nose. (this does the double work of calling back to an earlier scene-- ya girl loves a good callback-- and also building the anticipation some more. the snow reference reminds the reader that this is still a werewolf au, even in the midst of this. also, once when i was like fifteen, i read something about how to write kisses/romance and it talked about picking one or two aspects of the kiss to focus on-- breathing, hands, the feeling of someone’s mouth, etc. i still use that advice.)

tk shifts his weight and nolan has enough time to think holy fuck, is this happening? before travis fucking konecny upends the bag of all dressed-flavoured crumbs all over his face. (OKAY a lot going on here! it’s one of my favourite moments, really. first of all, here’s the resolution of all the chips talk! sure, i could’ve just abandoned them, but the subverting of expectations was a lot more fun and the story still wasn’t quite ready for them to kiss yet. second, this is tk chickening out. he had two choices and he chose violence. or, like, the buddies option, which is amusing to me because this is not buddies, boys. finally, the full name was necessary to convey nolan’s disappointment and anger, as was the full description of the chips. nolan is upset, and he’s going to notice these things, and that shows up in his internal narrative.)

“got ‘em,” he crows over nolan’s sputtering, letting himself get bucked off onto the floor. nolan wipes furiously at his face, all his feelings a confusing mix of horny and angry and confused, all with the thick overtone of humiliation.

“you’re a fucking dick,” he says and it’s flat, but tk is gloating too much to care. (he’s not, he’s trying to cover, but nolan’s too embarrassed to realise)

“you should’ve seen your face, pat.”

nolan glares daggers at the carpet, the chips spread out everywhere. it’s going to be a bitch to clean up. tk had better help. (makes sure the punch landed, and to give a final resolution.)

he leans against the sofa and waits for tk to tire himself out, listening to the laughter and trying not to get too angry or, like, cry. his neck feels hot, prickling uneasily. he rubs at it with his hand, startles when tk kicks him gently in the ankle. (in order for tk to not come out of this looking like an asshole, i needed him to make up his obliviousness by being observant in other times. and in order for tk to notice patty being mad, i needed to give patty actions that could be noticed, like not laughing along with the joke)

“sorry if i made you mad,” tk says quietly, all the giggles finally worked out of him. “you looked tense (no shit bud) and i thought it would make you laugh.”

it’s not tk’s fault nolan thought he was gonna, like, kiss him. (”like” again, to break up a too-honest moment) it was a dick move but tk doesn't have a cruel bone in his body, so: “it’s fine,” he mumbles and shrugs his shoulder. “it was funny.”

tk preens for a second. “i know.”

“you owe me a bag now.”

“i’ll buy you a family-sized pack. i’m sure they’ll ship it down here, amazon or ups or somethin’.” (patty’s attempting to be normal and tk is attempting to make amends.)

nolan nods and scratches at his face, tipping his head against the couch cushions. (little motions like him scratching his face aren’t super necessary for like plot or development, but it helps humanize characters and i like to add them in whenever i can, as long as it’s not overkill. they can also be helpful in pointing to emotional state without directly saying it.) it’s quiet for a few seconds, just the sound of them breathing heavier than usual, and it would be so normal. should be normal, by all counts, but nolan still kind of wants to crawl into a hole for while. wants to push tk out of the apartment and eat ice cream and google ‘how to stop a crush,’ like his sisters used to do when they were upset. he’s already googled it, a few days ago, and there was nothing but maybe someone’s offered good advice since then. (people make an impact on you, and family even more so, and i always like reminders of how close nolan seems to be with his sisters. also, it’s funny.)

tk flicks him on the wrist. (this is something that tk does consistently through the story, and even though it’s not super important to this scene, it establishes a behaviour in the larger story. that’s important too!)

“pat,” he says and it sounds it’s not the first time. nolan blinks.

“yeah?”

“i just asked you if you were hungry.”

“oh. uh. no, not really,” he answers truthfully. tk wrinkles his nose.

“do you, like, have anything in your fridge to eat?”

“mm, probably not.”

“typical,” tk mutters under his breath, as if he ever has anything regularly stocked besides protein powder and bacon. (protein rich foods that are easy to eat after a full moon, or after a workout) at least nolan has eggs pretty consistently. (also a protein rich food that’s less easy to eat after a full moon, but are easy to make when you aren’t a werewolf) “wanna go get sushi?”

nolan thinks about it. shoves his sweaty hair behind his ear and considers going out to their favourite place and pretending he’s not still fucking mortified. and, like, a little turned on. it makes him nauseous. (i get such physical reactions to emotional things that i write everyone into having them)

“no,” he says. he’s not facing tk but he can still see him deflate, his shoulders hunching over. “i don’t— no.”

“okay. that’s… okay.”

“i think i’m getting a migraine,” lies nolan. “think i’m just gonna lay down.”

“do you need me to stay with you? keep you company?”

nolan’s shaking his head before tk even finishes the thought. “no, trav. i’m fine, i promise.” (the trav here works as a signal that something isn’t right! it’s why tk looks at him for so long in the next line.)

tk studies him for a long minute, his eyes searching the side of patty’s face presented to him. nolan keeps his expression as blank as possible and stares hard at his feet.

“text me if you need anything,” he says finally, the words coming out slow and gentle. it’s a lot to handle. “i’ll come back.”

“i know. i will.” he won’t, but that’s not for tk to know. he doesn’t move when tk goes out the door, squeezes his eyes shut when the door doesn’t slam into its frame, (tk’s taking care of him, still!) and decides to leave the pile of crumbs to deal with later. (the climax of this scene happened a while ago so this is another little reminder of what happened, just so it’s solidified in the reader’s head after the longish comedown. i end scenes a LOT like this-- two actions, and then a callback-- because they’re simple and effective, and usually sound great!) /fin

ahh thank you so much for asking!! this was really fun to, like, process through and remember my logic for! i was actually really nervous writing this scene, because i knew the tension and the break had to be PERFECT for it to land right. but i do like how it turned out so at least there’s that. ily!!

#it took longer to write but i had fun!!#thank you caitlyn!!!!!!#fic talk #hockey rpf #hockey bros #my fic #hockey #tk/patty #idiots to lovers #cactusandfir #long post

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