#and then immediately slept for 2 hours bc it took so much out of me
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my dr was like "expect days 2-4 to be the worst for pain and fatigue" and i was like "okay" but in reality i wasn't actually in pain or exhausted until, like, saturday or sunday. like i'm sleeping 20 hours a day and this shit is starting to hurt, but only in the last 48 hours. so weird.
#i have paradoxical responses to a lot of things tho#and i metabolize things at a fucked up rate#so maybe the anesthesia took a minute to wear off#i'm still only at like a 5 MAX when it hurts big which isn't bad at all like my caffeine withdrawal headaches r worse#but it's a different type of hurt that i'm not used to#and i have hotspots on my back and legs from sitting/laying all day and i'm struggling to stand now#and i'm starting to get the Wet Lungs feeling i had when i first stopped smoking#i'm not coughing or anything and when i try there's nothing that comes up#and i don't have leg pain or anything#god i just hate being in a new type of unwell. i know what to do during a migraine flare i know what to do during a cardiac event but#i don't know what to do right now and that's got me all kinds of fucked up#my arm is starting to improve though i did some nerve flossing exercises#and then immediately slept for 2 hours bc it took so much out of me#my post#recovery documentation
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yandere! re2 leon kennedy x reader
✰ warnings: stalking, sub leon, slightly nsfw but not smut, leon is a creepy masochist, kidnapping, no use of y/n or name, gender neutral reader, not proofread bc it's 2 am for me rn
✰ summary: you were never very close to leon, but you harbored some feelings for him. but your entire view on him changes when you get invited to his place and you find out how he truly feels about you...
✰ a/n: remember when i used to be a havik account? good times. also i still *only* take reqs for mk1 characters. ik i wrote genshin and now i'm writing resident evil, but i am not entirely comfortable with taking reqs for them yet soooo here's me just dipping my toes into the waters of those fandoms. still sticking to mk1 tho. for now. also it's been a hot minute since i played re2 so if it's ooc i apologize.
leon thought you looked so pretty in your sleep. you looked completely peaceful and unbothered. your bedsheets covered your entire body except for your ethereal face, which he could stare at all day. the moon provided a dim glow through your window, giving leon a clear view of your entire bedroom while you slept. sure it may be creepy or a bit stalker-ish of leon to watch you sleep, but he couldn't help it! you were just so irresistible. if only you knew how much he loved you, and how he was capable of protecting and providing for you. he has the potential to be the best boyfriend to you. but you didn't even know him that well, and he was fully aware of that fact. so that's why he suddenly got an idea while he watched you sleep that night. it was a brilliant idea. he could invite you to his place and gain your trust! leon didn't want to waste any time, so he would immediately ask you first thing in the morning.
when you woke up that morning, you got a call from leon a few minutes after you got out of bed.
"i know it's a bit early in the morning, i hope you weren't sleeping... if so, i'm really sorry. i mean, i didn't know when to call you because i didn't want to bother you but at the same time i just really wanted to ask you something." leon rambled.
"no worries, leon. you could never bother me. besides, i just got out of bed. this was so perfectly timed, it's almost as if you memorized my sleep schedule." you joked.
"oh, yeah, that's crazy. imagine that," leon chuckled nervously. "um, anyway, i was just thinking... would you like to come over to my place later? i just thought that we know each other a little bit, but i'd like to get to know you more, since i think you're pretty cool and stuff, so, uh, yeah..." he trailed off, waiting for an answer.
upon hearing his proposal, you lit up in excitement. you always thought he was cute and wanted to get to know him, but you were too nervous to make the first move. this was a great opportunity.
leon was nervously fiddling with his fingers as he waited for your response. the longer you took to respond, the more his anxiety grew. he could feel the sweat forming on his skin and his chest tighten. what if you weren't interested in him in that way? was he being too forward? were you too busy?
you took a deep breath before you finally responded, mustering up the courage to say something. "i'll visit in a couple hours. i'll see you then, leon." you responded quickly, hanging up the phone and getting ready to see him.
leon's heart almost jumped out of his chest when you finally responded. he dropped his phone and immediately got to work, cleaning his place and hiding the pictures of you sleeping and your old clothes in a box under his couch.
he worked very hard to tidy everything up, wanting it to be perfect for you. only the best for you.
when he finished cleaning, he sat on the floor in front of his door like a puppy waiting for its owner. he patiently waited for you to knock on the door and come in, even though it would be a couple more hours until you arrived.
after a few hours of leon not moving a single inch, you finally arrived. as soon as your knuckles grazed the door to knock, leon swung it open with superhuman speed.
"thanks for coming! i hope the weather wasn't too harsh on you." leon greeted, stepping aside to let you in. he didn't actually know if the weather was harsh or not, he just said the first thing that came to his mind to start a conversation with you.
"thanks... and uh, the weather isn't bad at all. it's just a bit windy." you responded, awkwardly standing by the door.
leon was trying his hardest to act calm, but his heart was racing and he could feel his palms getting sweatier and sweatier. you were standing right next to him! and you were alone together! he could've just died right then and there. instead of watching you through your window, you're right in front of him! instead of breaking into your house and stealing and sniffing your clothes, he can just smell you right by him! he was in heaven.
for a couple hours, you both spent time together by watching movies and chatting, getting to know each other more and more. leon even ordered dinner for you both, and somehow he got your favorite food, and he claimed it was just intuition. it didn't even feel like hours had passed, since you were both enjoying yourselves.
"so, uh, do you like this movie?" leon awkwardly spoke up, as you both sat on the couch in front of his tv. you simply smiled and nodded, too tired to respond. it was a random film that you weren't familiar with, and you watched it in silence next to him. you were both clearly tired after that long day, but leon didn't want you to leave just yet. so he started awkwardly starting new conversations or asking you questions, hoping to keep your attention on him. he loved the amount of attention you already gave him that day, and he was still giddy that you agreed to visit him in the first place. all he needs to stay happy is for you to look at him. but you were literally sitting on his couch and spending time with him, and it just made him so overwhelmed with joy. it gave him hope that you could work as a couple someday, and you would never know about his unorthodox antics to get to this point.
or at least that's what he thought.
at some point, leon excused himself to the restroom and left you boredly swinging your legs back and forth on the couch. but you felt your leg kick something hard underneath the couch. when you decided to investigate, you found a hidden box. curious as to why it was hidden, you decided to open it and look inside.
big mistake.
you found some old clothes and underwear that you thought you lost, pieces of your hair, various pictures of you sleeping, a few grocery lists and paperwork that you thought you threw away, and even pages ripped out of leon's journal describing his dark fantasies of you. some of it had some mysterious white stains on it. it was disgusting, and it made you sick to look through it. you thought leon was just a cute sweetheart, but it turned out he was a stalker and a creep. you were so shocked, that you didn't know what to do. should you run? call someone? but it was unsafe, because he clearly knew your address and a lot of your personal information. you had no idea what to do, so you stayed frozen in shock.
when leon returned, he saw the horrified look on your face and saw the box in your hands. his heart dropped. you knew his secret.
"shit. oh my god, uh, it's not what you think. i swear, i just, uh, fuck..." leon stammered, dropping down to his knees in shame.
"what the fuck is this? how long have you been stalking me, you fucking creep?" you yelled, standing over his shaking form.
"haah.. i... uh.." leon seemed to be breathing weirdly, and you weren't sure if it was out of anxiety or pleasure.
"and this," you picked up one of the pages from his journal and waved it in front of his face. "what the fuck is this? you are so fucked up... are you in love with me or something? or is it just some weird ass sexual obsession?"
"i.. i do love you! of course i do! this isn't how i wanted you to find out, but i really do love you! please don't take it the wrong way. i don't want to hurt you, i just want to be with you. i want to feel you and- and spend every waking moment of my life with you.. please don't hate me." leon begged, grasping onto your leg pathetically.
"you're sick in the head. and you're nothing but a pathetic stalker." you scoffed. all the trust and affection you had for him went out the window after you opened that box. there was no way he can get your trust back. hell, you were willing to cut contact with him and move to another country at that point.
"fuck... okay, maybe i am.. but, uh... shit." leon struggled to get his words out, as he felt aroused by your degradation. he never thought it would feel so good to have you yell at him. he could barely even speak, it just felt euphoric for you to scold him for his actions. you expected him to panic, but he seemed to have mixed feelings about the situation. he was still horrified that you discovered his dirty secret, but he had stars in his eyes the more you screamed at him.
"oh my god... you're a masochistic freak, huh? you like it when i yell at you? god, you're so fucked up." you spat, grabbing his collar and lifting him up to your level.
leon whimpered at the sudden contact, not responding to your degredation and simply squirming at your touch.
you sighed. "are you going to explain yourself? or are you just going to keep babbling nonsense?"
after getting no response, you dropped him and started to grab your things and leave.
"i.. i love you so much!" leon blurted out. "please don't leave! i promise, i can make it up to you! i'll do whatever you want! i can uh... i can provide for you! you won't have to lift a single finger for the rest of your life! and uh... i can cook and clean! sort of. i'll learn how to take care of you. i'll show you that i can be a good boyfriend if you let me! please, just love me! i did all these things for you and i promise i will stop if you want me to! please, don't leave."
leon stood in front of the door and desperately held you in place, not wanting to let you leave.
if you chose to stay, leon would be overjoyed. he would keep his promise and make it up to you, spending the rest of his life protecting you from harm and doing anything to keep you happy. your well-being is his number one priority, he'd make himself look like a fool if it meant getting a smile out of you. just let him love you. you don't need to give him anything in return!
if you chose to leave, leon would be a sobbing, sulking mess for about an hour or two before he decided on what to do. he still had all of your information. he knew pretty much everything about you. he would probably do something to force you into being with him, such as faking your death and kidnapping you. you have nobody else now. you have to be with leon now. he is the only one that still loves you and will keep you happy. even if you're mad at him now, he has hope that someday you will warm up to him and be willing to have a relationship with him. he'll wait patiently for that day to come.
#resident evil#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy#re2 leon#yandere resident evil#yandere leon kennedy#yandere leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy x y/n#resident evil 2#yandere#sub yandere#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#resident evil x reader#leon x reader
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PART 2 of
things that happened so far in my first bg3 playthrough ever that I found so funny that I put them in my notes (now proper spoilers below)
defeated Ketheric Thorm in no less than 4 attempts
freed Mizora from one of the mindflayer pods, regretted it immediately because I hate the woman
got annoyed at missing so much companion banter, caved and got the companion limit begone mod
am now running around with all the origin companions, left the druids at camp to not be toooo overpowered (luckily I'm so bad at the game that it doesn't make a huge difference anyway)
there is someone named Orpheus and eithin seconds I had the Wedding Song from Hadestown stuck in my head
reached Baldur's Gate! my 200€ pc is Suffering
slept with the emperor to get the 'Mind Blown' achievement only for my mum to walk in in the middle of it to ask me for a hairclip
needless to say she was concerned and I had to explain myself (she stayed concerned but also found it funny)
snuck into Cazadors home and met someone named Sebastian, bawled my eyes out at his and Astarion's conversation
killed Cazador!! (fuck that guy)
went through the entirety of the sewers to find Minsc because what Jaheira says is law and the quest markers in my game are buggy as hell
on a sidenote, I godamn LOVE Minsc and Jaheira as a duo they are the best
recruited Minsc obviously, also took me two attempts because just knocking him out while he was under a 'Hold Person' spell counted as killing to Jaheira :(
met Dammon again! Karlach was thrilled and so was I
talked to Gortash (he's meh) and he told me to kill Orin
talked to Orin (I hate her with all I have and more) and she told me to kill Gortash
OH I ALMOST FORGOT
Remember how I left the druids at camp? Orin snuck in and took Halsin, pretended to be him and had me almost crying
but rage prevailed, so I went around the city for about 19 years to figure out how to get into Baahls temple (I had only knocked out someone instead of killing them, making the amulet you need for it not spawn in their inventory)
finally figured it out, went in, and immediately found a clowns head from about 20 hours playtime ago
killed Orin (and got the achievement), it was great fun bc as mentioned before, I despise her
Halsin was so thankful I'd saved him that he immediately went "haha tysm for not leaving me, wanna fuck?"
so I left Wyll for him (with lots of pain in my heart, the things we do for the plot istg)
have not played since, but my most recent savefile is called "the wicked bitch is dead, long live the druids"
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 tav#ketheric thorm#mizora#the emperor#mind blown#cazador szarr#bg3 sebastian#jaheira#minsc#boo#minsc and boo#bg3 dammon#karlach#enver gortash#orin the red#halsin#wyll ravengard#astarion#laezel#gale of waterdeep#hadestown#orpheus#bela rambles
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I'm 1 week post op!
I had top surgery last week aaaaaaaaah!!!! FINALLY! It took so many years, so many delays, so many disasters that it felt like it would never happen. But I fucking made it! I got double incision mastectomy with nipple grafts. Gonna document the recovery a bit too if it's helpful to anyone c: So this is how the first week went:
Day 1
The most pain I had was immediately upon waking up, but after a while the nurses gave me more morphine and it was chill. I'd still rate the pain around like badly twisted ankle level pain, not too bad
Extremely sleepy, couldn't keep my eyes open for more than a few moments and slept pretty much the whole day
Got discharged from the clinic 3 ish hours after surgery
I didn't have drains, just a tight compression wrap around my chest
Day 2
Pain level was still very chill as long as I took my painkillers regularly
Biggest challenge was doing stuff without using my chest muscles or extending my arms much, going to the bathroom was the most difficult
Used both morphine and paracetamol this day
Eating and drinking was fine, just smaller portions at a time
Day 3-7
By far the worst days of recovery so far
Back and neck pain from weird sleeping positions was becoming more annoying and bothersome than the actual surgery wounds
I had some bleeding on day 3, the left nipple bled through the bandages and all the way to the compression wrap. I contacted the clinic but it wasn't a concerning amount of blood and it stopped on its own pretty quickly
I stopped with the morphine and just took paracetamol, which I decreased over the days as the pain levels went down
By the end of the week I started to get a tiny bit more movement in my upper body, still not extending my arms but things didn't feel as tight immediately when moving and doing stuff with my arms
Turns out I was allergic to the antibiotics they gave me, so I dealt with some horrible symptoms these days. It's not usually part of recovery but good to look out for in case it happens to anyone else too. I got very sleep deprived, could't sleep more than 1-2 hours at a time. I would wake up feeling extremely warm (but no fever), really nauseous, weak, heart beating fast and hard, terrible headache, sometimes feeling like I couldn't breathe properly. I only slept 3-4 hours per day. Also had some diarrhea and acid reflux. I was very weak and shaky, getting weaker and more dizzy as the days went on instead of getting better. Luckily I could stop taking them on day 7, which is when I learned I was allergic to them lol
Day 7
I had my one week appointment where they took off the innermost bandages and removed the sticthes keeping the gauze stuck to my nipples. Nurse said things were healing well, some swelling but not too much. My left nipple had gotten a bit less bloodflow and looked much darker, like a burned pepperoni. Nurse said it's not unusual and it still looks okay, it should regain bloodflow and improve on its own in the coming days
Got to take a full shower for the first time after this. It was terrifying af to have water and soap run over my very fragile looking newborn nipples lol, but it felt so fucking good to be clean
I could also take off the compression wrap and clean it which was a blessing bc that thing was disgusting by this time. I have to keep wearing it 24/7 for the first month but can take it off briefly to clean it
Despite the terrible antibiotics reaction, the recovery has been less difficult than I thought tbh. I expected worse. By far the most challenging thing for me personally is having to ask for help with every tiny little thing ^^' But already seeing such a flat look with my shirt on in the mirror is amazing!
#transition#transmasc#top surgery#elfy thoughts#i should have suspected something was off when the headaches were way more painful than the actual open wounds on my body lol#anyway im slowly feeling better now#it's only gonna get better and better from now on!#probably not gonna document every moment but just the most eventful parts#man i can't wait to do so much swimming in the furute :')#about me
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ok wait now i wanna talk abt weird/interesting things from my experience getting top surgery. ive seen other ppl talk abt some of these things b4 but not all of em
i thought my surgeon was gonna do the incision, like, underneath the curve of my tiddies?? he ended up kinda slicing thru the middle of them, so my scars run over the middle of my pecs, not underneath them
speaking of; ig my pecs are more developed than i thought since my chest isnt like perfectly flat but rather both my pecs have a layer of fat/flesh on them and i can feel the muscle underneath
also the dip/space inbetween from when i had tiddies looks p much exactly the same, my surgeon said sometimes it ends up buldging out and a revision is needed but thankfully that didnt happen to me
the discharge nurse let me know afterwards that my tits were 11 kilograms (right 6kg and left 5kg) like no fucking wonder i have back pain at the tender age of 19
so yknow how pain raises ur body temp and makes u sweat?? immediately upon waking up i was so warm and damp i told a nurse id soiled myself and needed a change of underwear, i hadnt! i was just really fucking sweaty lol
i also threw up twice after waking up (fortunately into containers both times), turns out anesthetic doesnt agree w/ me, also it was like a dark bottle green?? since id been fasting from the night b4 ig i was bringing up nothing but bile
pre-surgery they cldnt get the IV in my left hand and had to switch to my right and ig that made my heart rate pick up bc one of the asistants immediately came by my head and talked to me to calm me down, he was rlly nice :)
im p sure i conked out within seconds of them getting the IV in and starting up the anesthetic too, none of that 'count back from 10' shit, i took like 2 and a half deep breathes and was OUT
from a combination of the iodine and natural swelling/bruising my chest looked REALLY yellow for like 3 weeks after surgery
i got sent home the same day i got my surgery, they keep some ppl over night if theres complications but apparantly i was all good to go after resting in the post-op ward for few hours
speaking of, i woke up, puked, got some water, dicked around on tumblr, called my mum, took an 'i lived bitch' selfie, slept for a few hours, woke up, went on tumblr again, got dressed w/ some help from a nurse, pissed (by myself, woo!), and then got discharged
my scars are uneven! my left incision goes further under my armpit than my right one, and my scars vary in thickness, it actually looks kinda like ive got two scars on my left side bc it thins out so much in the middle for a few milimeters
my nipples are also a lil uneven and they ended up puckering up as they healed so i kinda looks like ive always got stiff nips oops, also theyre more brown than pink
apparantly that might be bc they took the nipple graft from my areaola bc they werent able to graft the actual nipple, idk ¯_(ツ)_/¯, obvi it doesnt look perfectly like a cis guy's nipples but i knew the chances of achieving that were relatively small + p dependent on how i healed so like im not too bothered by it
my surgeon used dissolvable stitches and one of em ended up poking out thru my scar a lil b4 it disolved, which was weird
showering w/ a plastic sandwich bag duct taped to ur chest so u dont get ur scars and nips wet is An Experience TM i'll tell u that
my scars stretched!! it happens!! esp if u raise ur arms, which u will inevitably have to do eventually, idk if they'll ever fade on their own or if i'll need scar revision treatment in the future but fortunately they didnt go keloid
my surgeon used what he called crosshatched stitching rather than drains so that saved me a lot of discomfort, i DID get a slight build up of like, i think around 40ish mls of fluid in my left side a few weeks after surgery, but my surgeon dealt w/ it by p much just poking it w/ a syringe and draining it out lol
which i didnt even feel him do at the time bc of the nerve damage lmao, which was weird asf since i could very much SEE him sticking the needle in but couldnt feel it at all
i regained my mobility like, straight away?? my surgeon said bc im young + relatively healthy it was likely that id bounce back from surgery quick but like,, i had none of the exhaustion, pain, or immobility ive seen ppl describe??
i couldnt lift my arms very high for a while obvi but like i was fine dressing myself and even washing my own hair if i just leaned over
having to sleep upright for a few weeks after surgery was v annoying since i usually rotate like a shawarma trying to find a comfy sleeping position
the post-op chest binder was sensory hell bc it was scratchy and it kept slipping down my back since it had no shoulder straps, also i accidentally bruised my ribs a lil bit by wearing it too tight oops, the fuckin relief i felt when they told me i cld stop wearing it
the post-op 'please wear these at all times so u dont get thrombosis' socks were p comfy tho, idk why they didnt cover my toes tho
regaining the sensation around ur scars is weird! my right side's been completely fine but ig bc my left scar is thicker + longer ive been getting some pain n tightness, its not a persistent issue or anything but its just kind weird bc ive never had any surgeries or major injuries to heal from before this one
u will have to get ur boobs felt up and examined probaby multiple times b4 surgery, this will feel very different from touching ur own boobs and, in my case, was ticklish??
my posture has improved somewhat since getting top surgey, what not having 11kg of weight hanging off ur chest and compressing it in towards ur ribs/spine for roughly 9 hours a day will do to a mf ig
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YES MAAM STORYTIME
SAY LESS. also warnings: i’m gonna mention alcohol and a house fire so read w caution 🫶😀
okay so the story takes place late july, around the time of my birthday. backstory for context: my first love from hs came to my birthday party my friends threw for me at my house and we were drinking (i’m of age but DRINK RESPONSIBLY!!) and mind you he has a gf and we went to his car where he kissed me and blah blah we hate state named boy. anyway so the next day after my party this ex of mine from hs and i were texting and im obv sober now and i’m like do you wanna talk about it?? bc yk he has a gf and he told me i’m pretty much forgetful 😀 and yeah that was my final straw being sorry for myself (context: up until that point 15 y/o me was still in love w who he was when we were kids and seeing him after so long showed me who he is now and respectfully,, i hate him.) anyway,, so i was like i’m gonna download a dating app to get over myself bc who wants to be sad over some douche bag who cheats on his gf just to kiss his hs sweetheart??
and i did just that and at the time where i was living i had roommates that i was close w one was a childhood friend (who i now know was obsessed w me and is insane) and they were hyping me up yk? so i made my profile and he (my bf) was one of the first 3 people to message me and i kid you not his first message (mind you i put in my bio i’m a mom bc i’m being up front) was ‘you got kids?’ I WAS LIKE WHO TF SAYS THAT 😭😭 nevertheless we chatted and he asked me what i wanted here and i sent a whole mf paragraph about what i was looking for and this man said “so fwb?” I WAS LIKE CAN HE NOT READ?? and then he told me he wanted something more serious and i was like okay?? doesn’t pertain to me?? and he send me his snap but told me to find where that goes and ofc i go to insta bc that’s what i use the most and ofc i was wrong so i added him on snap and HE CALLED ME I WAS SPOOKED WHO TF CALLS SOMEONE ON SNAP YOU HAVENT MET?? this man of mine i tell you.
so he calls me and he’s on his way over and i shower and i stay on call w him till he arrives and he gets out his car and i’m like DEAR LORD HES SO FUCKING CUTE maybe i was touch deprived but i was giggling. GIGGLING. and we go to my room and watch the nun (he’s scared of scary moves and those are my jam so we laughed about that and we watched the movie and the first fire alarm goes off so i go to check tf was happening and 2/3 roomies said there was a small fire they put out in the garage (i’m not gonna explain rn bc its too much to type 😭) and then i go back to my room and we watch the movie and the second one goes off and my roommate who was childhood bestie said get out the house so we do so and my garage was ablaze i tell you 😃
so i tell him if he wants to leave he can bc this doesn’t happen everyday and he said i kid you not ‘rn i’m more worried about you so i’ll stay to make sure you’re okay’ HELLO I WAS DOWN IMMEDIATELY. he moved his car and i leaned against it and he held my hand and rubbed my back while i was shaking crying and after the fire department left we all went back inside and it was a mess there was ash and soot everywhere and i took another shower and since he worked that same morning. IN A FEW HOURS he stayed over and i didn’t sleep til he left, we finished the movie and he slept maybe a hour and a half and i bid him goodbye and i went to sleep. HE CALLS ME ON HIS LUNCH BREAK I KID YOU NOT and it woke me up so i answered and he was w a coworker and asked me what i was doing for the day. i was like. cleaning up my house 😭so he said if i get an break from cleaning up if i wanted to go to a movie w him?? HELLO?? FIRST DATE MUST BE ROMANTIC RIGHT??
so it was so last minute so we went to see Oppenheimer and i didn’t know anything about the movie but i’m a history nerd so we get there and we’re in the front row like where handicap seats are for those who need them. that’s where we at 😭but it was just us two and a bunch of space so like an hour in he’s gone,, snoozing w his head on my shoulder 🥹 and yeah bc i was confused as to what timeline we were in around ww1 and 2 so i took a 30 min nap MAX and woke up and tried to watch the rest of the movie and the power went out. AT THE NEAR WND OF THE MOVIE IT WENT OHT. our movie started at 7,, power went out 10 minutes after 10pm. THE WHOLE THEATER WAS PISSED so i woke him up and we went back to my house and he waited 3 weeks of basically spending every night at my house to ask me out,, but he met my kid the day of his birthday (the baby’s birthday) and that night after midnight we drove to the beach and he took a polaroid pic of us and wrote it i’d date him on it 🥹 and we had gotten ice cream and soda to make floats and candy and we were listening to music in my car and there’s a song i played for him and told him this particular part reminded me of him and it’s this is how you fall in love by jeremy tucker & chelsea cutler and it’s her opening verse where she says ‘what’s easy is right, my mothers advice, you are the reason i never think twice’ and THIS MAN SEARCHED UP THE LYRICS ON GOOGLE. HIGHLIGHTED IT AND TOOK A SC. i wanted to cry,, i wanted to marry him then and there. and now i have two polaroids in my car, one of my first day back to work after the garage fire bc it was only slightly damaged and no one was physically harmed so work had to be done and as i’m leaving he says “wait, smile!” and i was like 🙂 and he took a pic and i wrote on it “his name pov : smile!” and the one of us the night he asked me out. so if you really think about it august is important for me bc it’s loki day on one day, the next is esa day, the next is baby day and the next is his day w me 🥹
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October 16, 2023
The past few weeks have felt like a whirlwind. While I’ve been on my phone constantly the past few weeks it was almost exclusively to take photos and communicate immediately with folks to coordinate meetups. I barely looked at insta or my emails. It was seriously wonderful. Today I went through my photo album of the past few weeks and it doesn’t feel like there are enough photos. I legit feel like there should be more based on how full the trip felt.
I’m not even going to attempt to summarize the trip. I’ll just jot down a few thoughts.
1. Even though we were with the kids 24/7 and they were driving us crazy at times, now that I have to leave them I feel really sad and I miss them so much. I really do just love our family. Same goes for extended family too. After my mom/bro/sil/Shiloh departed, it felt like we weren’t whole without them. We could feel the lack of their presence. My mom is also seriously so clutch. She came to our house before we landed, made bap and miyukgook, and then picked us up from the airport. The miyukgook sVed our lives. We ate it for dinner and then as a post sleep meal when the girls were up in the wee hours of the morning. And then for breakfast the next day lol. She’s also coming tomorrow to take the girls to school because Jason has an important meeting. I would want to pay it forward for our kids but I’m generally assuming they won’t have kids (bc of climate change).
2. Adjusting to time zone changes is a bitch. The kids were waking up super early and sleeping very little when we went. And adults got virtually no sleep in the plane ride over. The girls slept fairly well but they were really squished lying next to each other on the seats. I actually got sick on the second day in and I think it was mostly from extreme sleep exhaustion (because we were already deprived from the sleep training saga and nerves not being able to sleep from starting a new job). It felt pretty miserable those first few days but thankfully the whole fam was there to watch the kids so I could get some rest. Now coming back we’re also getting terrible sleep and the kids have been awake anywhere from 11 to 4 am but I actually feel like I’m still sleeping better this time around. Today the girls slept in until noon and then I took them to school at around 2 just so they could play for a few hours. Hopefully they wake up earlier tomorrow and can actually go to school on a relatively normal schedule. Godspeed to my mom.
3. My grandma is so old. Like seriously. She was sooo happy to see us she was trying her best to keep up with us. She was actually walking so fast I was shocked. But she said she didnt care if she died she was going to walk as fast as she could so she could hang with us and not be seen as a burden. I could tell she really enjoyed herself and she bonded a lot with Dani. Jason’s grandma is much older than my grandma (I think by 10 years) but she’s still soooo healthy. She walks with a cane now but I love how social she is. We told her we’d come by to hang out the next day but she said she couldn’t because she was busy with her friends 😂. When we hung out w Jason’s family they took us to their local gogi jib (one we went to years ago too) and wansun Emo made me drink w her so I drank a bottle of soju and she drank a bottle of makgeoli lol. It was a lot of fun and the girls were thankfully well behaved.
4. Overall the kids really seemed to love Korea and want to go back. I fell in love with jejudo and seriously want to go back to the same hotel. But if we did go I wonder if it would be nearly as magical without the whole friend group there 🧐. I suspect not but there’s a different kind of fun just being with family too.
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Okay, so it’s about 2:30pm now but…
My horrible ass slept until 7pm yesterday, understandably I was up all night. Would’ve been fine except I’ve been dealing with a headache for 100000 years now. So I can’t sleep when I want to bc I know I need to bc my head hurts.
Cut forward, 7am. …I’m in the kitchen, eating some pizza rolls, drinking some water, trying to help myself, Yknow? So I decide, after these pizza rolls I’m gonna take some headache medicine and try to sleep. If I can’t sleep by 8am, then I’ll drug myself with zzzyquil. So I’m going about my business, eating and finishing. I decide to grab an ice pack that is also a sleeping mask bc duh. It feels nice :)
I take two of my generic headache meds as is standard for me. I head back to my room. Almost immediately, after ice gel pack and headache meds, gone.
Wow, I think, these headache meds are doing great this morning. WRONG
I’m starting to get sleepy pretty fast, which, whatever. But then; my fingers get all tingly and I think, oh fuck did I fuck up???? Noooo that can’t be possible these were in my headache meds bottle…ALSO WRONG
I managed to take two fucking hydrocodone!!! I decide that I will double check the pills in the bottle bc I can tell the difference between excedrin and hydros. Before I even get the chance my bitch ass is passed out at like 740 which is wild. I wake back up sound 830 so almost an hour and..I’m dizzy and my hands tingle and I’m nauseous. Gee, I wonder why. I decide that even tho I KNOW I tucked up bc all the evidence supports it, I will go check.
So I go out to the living, dogs barking, head kinda burning and confirm what I knew. I saw this to my mother but I believe she’s still half asleep even with all 3 days barking at me.
Loverboy is awake so I text him to let him know, just in case. Immediately he’s freaking, I try to calm him bc I’ve been through this similarly in the past. We’re talking and I explain I will barf at some point and it’ll be all better, that it is currently not Barf Time. Two minute pass and he says “hope it’s not messy” and IMMEDIATELY after replying with “it won’t be” I am overwhelmed and rush to go throw up lol. Not messy but weird bc it tasted like pizza rolls.
Immediately after barf I feel so much better, especially bc the door to the bathroom and douchebag’s door we’re both open and I know for a fact he was eating when I barfed all loud and icky. Lmao I feel much better now this
My goal was to be awake no later than 3pm which it is now bc I fell asleep writing this for a sec. But I wanna stay awake to adjust a a schedule for sleep but I accidentally took two heavy pain meds so I’m kinda zonked.
I keep falling back asleep during this post and it’s 4pm now 😒
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Woah! It's been a while :0
life has been saur busy BUT! let's pick up where i left off :D here are all my daily entries since 10/27 to 11/16
Thursday, 10/27/22
9:00am - i woke up and finished up my studying for my eebio100 midterm, which was at 12:30pm. i told my prof about my covid scare situation but he said to come in person to take the test anyways and i was like :D sir... and then he was like yea either that or u can sit with me for 2 hours for an oral exam... yeah no so i finished up my studying, printed out my cheat sheet, and hauled my butt to rolfe
12:30pm - i took my midterm! honestly not too bad (well, i thought i did terrible in the moment but after getting my mc score back it was all okay :D) it was a lil tricky though bc they had scientific names of animals and species even though they said not to worry about it T_T lied straight to my face man. still waiting on my free responses to me graded
1:45pm - i got out of my midterm and headed back to the dorm. i had some more work to do so i was working in my dorm for a while. i think i got food at a food truck, but i dont remember which one.
4pm - i texted pauline that i was feeling a bit drowsy and sick, because we had planned to meet up and hangout for a bit. she told me not to worry about it and to rest, but i was determined to meet w her via zoom or call at least! i told her i would take a nap and see if i felt better when i woke up
5:45pm - i woke up from my nap with a slight headache, a fever, and was feeling very sluggish. i was so exhausted. i texted pauline that i wasnt feeling well and she completely understood, in fact was happy that i wasnt gonna push myself to meet with her. i appreciate her sm ;-; we decided to reschedule for a different time, and i went back to sleep before my meeting
7pm - i had a meeting that i attended virtually. after the meeting, my vision started looking like a kaleidoscope, it was so trippy. turns out i had a ocular migraine or something like that.
9pm - i think i got the tomato basil soup from bcafe for dinner this day, and it was pretty bad. never getting it again. i think i did work for the rest of the night before calling it a day and heading to sleep.
Friday, 10/28/22
okay in all honestly i dont remember this day too well other than the fact that it was PAINFUL i was dying my head was hurting so much and i ended up having migraines this day. i was feeling super sick, my temp kept fluctuating and i didnt wanna move. i dont remember what i ate other than clam chowder, bc i had to ask my friend cristian to deliver it for me (which he immediately did, he is so sweet i appreciate him a lot :( ). i also remember he got me a ton of honey and pepper and tea, it was pretty funny. i think i just slept a lot this day. i also got my pcr test results back on this day and i was negative! but still dying though and i had no idea what was happening (i would later find out i had sinus infection)
Saturday, 10/29/22
i slept until 11am, i think. i had an event at 2pm that i felt good enough to head out to. still a little bit groggy and my head hurt a little bit, but it wasn't unbearable. i met up with a few friends at de neve turnaround before heading out to chick-fil-a. i got the chicken nuggets there, the chick-fil-a sauce goes so hard. fun fact, when i was younger my god family in menifee used to have me dress up like a cow for every summer i came to visit them bc there's a certain day where you get free food at chick-fil-a if you dress like a cow LOL
i went to ralphs w claire and jshyu after to help jshyu transport pumpkins and supplies to our little sleepover event at a friend's apartment
when we arrived, we started our event! we played a lot of games like we're not really strangers, sang karaoke, cooked, carved pumpkins, and more. we ate spaghetti for dinner! it was a pretty good night until i came down with a splitting migraine and had to sleep.
i dont remember exactly what happened, but i do remember coming out of the room asking dylan for help bc i fr thought i was dying. almost asked him to call 911 ngl. but he immediately helped me out and gave me thermaflu (which almost made me throw up). more friends wrapped me up in a blanket and put a cold towel on my head and i ended up sleeping throughout the night. more friends came to take care of me, but i dont recall who. i just know bc they told me that they did after i was feeling better. i appreciate them <3
Sunday, 10/30/22
i was feeling a lot better when i woke up. i ate a bagel with cream cheese, caught up with some friends on what they did throughout the night, and was just socializing. we ended up carving pumpkins and that was super fun! jshyu and i made our pumpkin look like mike wasowski and he even had cute little pumpkin horns that stuck out of the pumpkin. i went with annie and jshyu to target to grab cleaning supplies to help clean up annie's apartment, and then she drove me back home. i was still feeling super exhausted so i think i slept for a bit longer as soon as i came back to my dorm.
when i woke up, i was feeling a lot better. i washed up, met up with some friends for dinner, and did work for the rest of the night. i ate the chicken sandwich + elote from the flamin hot chicken truck for the first time and it's so GAS can't believe ive been hating on this for the longest time when it's actually so good
Monday, 10/31/22
happy halloweenie!
was supposed to have festivities like carve pumpkin and have horror night but boybae felt too sick later in the night
ate chicken curry from 8e8 and watched coraline instead
had a mini photoshoot w my best friend klaribae
Tuesday, 11/1/22
went to ee biol lec, i do not like the knew professor but it is okay we'll manage
i dont remember if i ate or what i ate
hung out at kerck for a bit before going to a zoom meeting that i did inside of kerck
wednesday, 11/2/22
went to lecture, i had a midterm today for ls30b
i thought i studied really freaking well and understood the material but the actual test kicked me in the butt and im nervous for my results
thursday 11/3/22
went to eebiol lecture again, she didn't know how to use the mic and it cut out mid lecture
had a picnic with tas and professors it was very nice
studied and hung out at fireside, ending up spending the night there
friday, 11/4/22
i went to my lab and lecture for ls30b from 12pm-3pm
i had a meeting where i was exposed to what it would be like being a responder for a suicide/crisis hotline at 4pm
i had dinner with adiline at rende west at 7pm
saturday, 11/5/22
i got cpr certified this morning! i was trained in bls and cpr fro 9am to 12pm, it was very interesting and im very happy i was able to take the course. i also got 100% on the test!
i ate at bplate with some friends before meeting at the study with joseph. i swiped him some food and swiped myself a decaf white chocolate mocha iced coffee and an opera cake. it was a really good time talking to him
i met with brandon, steven, hailey, and josh ji to go to costco and pick up supplies for our hangout. it was pretty fun, but hailey's driving is a little questionable when it comes to speed bumps.
we had our hangout from 5pm-9pm at sunset village and it was pretty fun! i had some pizza and drank some caprisun, i mainly socialized with our friends there before heading back to my dorm to work on some assignments
sunday, 11/6/22
i woke up pretty late this day and had hurriedly gotten food and headed out to my photoshoot for vcn. i grabbed a steak quesadilla from rende west before meeting vcn drama cast at anderson steps. it was really nice seeing the drama cast, as it was my first time seeing everyone in person since my role is so small that they did not need me for many of our rehearsals
after the photoshoot and runthrough, i had a professional photoshoot with some friends at royce. we all looked so nice and so pretty, except i felt like my face was a little poofy this day so i think my photo came out looking a little bit different to how i actually look but it's all good. i've never taken professional photo of myself before, so i really loved the photos that came out from this photoshoot
i met with clarice at 7pm, we went to ralphs for a grocery and snack run. it was a great time hanging out with her, and she even put me on ralph's sushi. ive been avoiding ralph's sushi for the longest because i was always so scared of it but.... it's honestly not too bad! LOL
i met with my alumni mentor at 8pm to catch up and see how we were doing. it was really nice talking to him, i really love how down to earth and straightforward he is. it seems that he is doing great right now which i am so happy to hear, and it was overall such a great time just unwinding and delving into what's been going on in our lives recently.
i met with marykate at 9pm via zoom to check in and chat for a bit too. i think she is so sweet, and i always love every chance i get to talk to her.
10pm i met with alan to go grab dinner at ami sushi in westwood. it was a really great time and i think it was very sweet how he would always make sure that i was walking on the inside of the sidewalk. we had a great conversation over some great food, i had a bulgogi and rice stone pot with salad and miso soup.
monday 11/7/22
i went to my eeb discussion before heading out to ackerman to meet with some friends and chat and study. it was raining this day and it was so freaking cold.
i met up with johnny, he met me inside ackerman and we left to go get food at rende on the hill. i didn't eat with him though because i already planned to eat with amanda at 1pm before my lecture at 2pm. so i just swiped him food and we had a great conversation at rende west. i think it was a bit surreal to finally talk to him, as i've known him by association for a while but never directly talked to him one on one before this
i went back to my dorm after johnny finished eating to unpack somethings and put on more layers of clothing. then i headed out to meet amanda at the bomb shelter, where we both got food from yoshinoya's which was expensive as heck i did not know it was more than $9 for a bowl dayum. but we had a great time, i really loved talking to amanda and hearing about her dog rigby.
i then left amanda to go to my ls30b lecture at 2pm. honestly i dont know what the heck is happening in the class at this point
after class, i think i came back to my dorm and worked up until my meeting at 8pm
tuesday, 11/8/22
election day!!! very stressful, i remember asking around if ppl were going out to vote today lol
i went to my eeb100 lecture and i think this was the day where my professor's mic cut out and we couldn't hear her for like half of lecture rip
i dont remember what i ate
i just remember i had so much to do today and a paper to write that was actually do a week before, but my professor had only let me know that i was able to have an extension to the end of the night so that was stressful sobs
wednesday, 11/9/22
i woke up and asked hannah if she wanted to grab brunch at bplate with me. we ended going to bplate at 12:30 and it was a really great time talking to her over brunch.
i headed out for my ls30b lecture at 2pm, again had no idea what the heck is going on in the class. i was able to grasp onto the content a little bit but i definitely need to go back and review the material sobs
i dont remember what else i did or ate this day as i dont have anymore notes in my google calendar about it :(
thursday, 11/10/12
my last day taking antibiotics for my sinus infection slay!!
i kinda dont remember what i did, i think i went to lecture and mainly just did work and met up to hangout with people during this day. i met up with bryan and edmond at 4pm and we hungout for a bit, he's a very nice and funny guy to talk to.
i met up with gabi and pari at 6pm, we drove around westwood because traffic was pretty bad and there was no parking space available, so gabi ended up dropping me, pari, and karis off at diddy reise to get cookies for everyone. i got the candy chocolate chip cookie idk ive never really liked it before but i've been craving m&ms recently LOL. after we got our cookies, we were chilling in gabi's car jsut hanging out and talking for a bit before her volleyball game. then pari and gabi left and karis and i sat in mr. noodle waiting on karis's food.
robin picked karis and i up from mr. noodle and he dropped karis off at hedrick summit. he also picked up three other people who were going to sawtelle, since we were also headed to sawtelle for dinner. after dropping them off at tsujita, robin and i ate at sushi stop. it was my first time eating there so i was super excited. the food was actually SO good and im so happy he recommended the place. 10/10 would come again. it was also such a fun time talking and hanging out with robin :)
friday, 11/11/22
the cursed day. we'll get to why we call it the cursed day.
it actually started off pretty great! i woke up and went on a picnic with juliet and some friends at tongva steps. she brought us all sorts of goodies and bagels and breakfast foods and it was really really good
after our picnic, i went back to my dorm to get ready to meet with pauline! we went to a cafe in westwood and she treated us to some delicious drinks. she got an americano and i got matcha latte. it was soooo good. we had such a great conversation too, and i felt the same surreal feeling in that i always knew of pauline prior to coming to college but never thought that i would ever talk to her or hangout with her one on one like this. it was super fun and she is so sweet to talk to. we were able to find some seating inside where we started doing some work. we also ran into kadee and her sister, and they sat next to us to do some work too.
at 4pm, pauline and i left the cafe and headed to the bruin bear to meet with selene. there, we all walked back up the hill and pauline went back to her dorm. selene and i went to her dorm to pick up something and then we went to my dorm to hangout. i really loved talking to selene and can find myself relating a lot to her. she is super sweet and im very grateful that i've had the opportunity to get to know her more on a deeper level
then i went out to get dinner with jason and a lot of friends! i forgot what the kbbq place was called but it was so freaking GOOD oh my gosh i was so happy. it was such a good dinner, it really tied up how well everything else was going in my day
and that's when the day becomes cursed. long story short, i ended up drinking so much to the point where i blacked out and remember absolutely nothing. it was awful and i am still traumatized by how much i drank.
saturday, 11/12/22
i woke up very confused at jason's apartment. i didn't remember how i got there or when i got there or anything. i felt so sick and was terribly hungover, the worst hangover i've had in my life so far. next to me was josh ji which was even more confusing but i was happy that i wasnt alone. josh ji called charlotte to ask what the heck happened, and charlotte was giving us bits and pieces from what she remembered. it made me feel even more sick as she was recounting what went on during the night. i yakked a lot, jason made me noodles but i couldn't stomach it, and i ended up just resting for a long time on the couch. i did get to see poppy (jason's cat) she is so adorable i love her.
jason drove me back to grab my backpack from kelvin's apt and then he drove me back to my dorm and made sure that i was feeling okay enough to get back to my dorm safely. as soon as i came back to my dorm, i immediately went to the floor and knocked out. my roommate was there and i was telling her how sick i felt before i knocked out, so she was taking care of me and gave me a yak bag and helped me throw up. i was in and out of sleep, only waking up to throw up and then pass out again. it was so bad.
my roommate left for work at 6pm and called my boyfriend to come to my dorm to take care of me. my boyfriend ended up staying with me the entire time, helping me get water in my system and tried giving me some vitamin c too. when i took the vitamin c pill and water throw i immediately through it all back up and it was awful. he left to get me some hot water to see if that was easier to stomach and also some birria ramen from the taco cartel truck. that ramen is actually the best hangover food ong it had noodles to soak up anything + protein + lime my god it was so gas. i couldnt finish it, but i made sure to eat all the meat. my boyfriend stayed by my side and helped me eat. he watched rick and morty with me until we both fell asleep again
vanna and josh ji came by my dorm to drop off powerade which i was very thankful for. they also jsut checked in on me and made sure that i was okay
my roommate came back around 12am and that's when my boyfriend and i woke up. im very grateful that she was okay with him staying the night and sleeping over to continue taking care of me, and i am very grateful that my roommate and my boyfriend r my best friends i love them both very much
sunday, 11/13/22
i felt soooo much better when i woke up on sunday, i actually felt reborn. everytime i was sent a video or photo of myself from friday night though i felt nauseous and thinking about that night still makes me nauseous
my mom came up which was really nice. i ate an acai bowl before she arrived and i swiped her a salad that she really likes from the study.
we went to griffith observatory, paid $10 for parking, and then couldnt even get into the observatory bc my mom isn't vaccinated and neither of us knew that they checked for vax cards. instead, we ended up hiking on the griffith observatory trail and that was really nice. we sat on a bench for a while watching the sunset and talking and adoring the cute dogs all around us
after griffith, we headed out to a japanese bbq restaurant. i think it was called tokyo kalbi, but im also not too sure. i just know that it was really good. on the way there, i was also on call with kristina and brooke for a bit, and it was really nice talking to them.
we ate at the jbbq place and it was actually so good. their cut of meat was so good but that also made it so expensive and i felt guilty eating tbh but my mom insisted that i ate until i was full. we had a good time chatting over dinner, she was telling me all about her bumble stories and interactions and at this point i just accept it
after dinner, she took me back home to my dorm. she gave me a bag with goodies and things i needed from home, along with some motivational messages taped to the goodies reminding myself to take care of myself. i love my mom, she is the best.
i met with tyler at 9pm and we had a great time talking in de neve. i swiped him some chicken tendies before heading out to fireside
at fireside, i was hanging out with some friends until i started having a really bad cough and felt a sore throat coming. i ended up going back to my dorm and taking a rapid test, it came back with a faint line :( so i took a pcr test and waited for my results to come back
monday, 11/14/22
i woke up super freaking sick. it was insane. i had a bit of a cough from hanging out with my mom but i thought i was just choking on dust or water or something, it wasnt too bad. but this morning i was dying.
i dont remember what i ate and i went to lecture online
my enrollment time was at 5:30pm, i didn't get physics 5a which i really needed T_T
i was mainly working up until my meeting at 8pm
after the meeting i broke down lol i was really really out of it and feeling super sick. my temp kept fluctuating and my throat hurt so badly i couldnt even speak without wincing
after calming down by talking to a few people about how i was feeling, i headed out to a hangout that my friends and i planned for the night. just crazy college things to make memories, yk? it was super fun except i got more sick afterwards sobs. edmond gave me nyquil when we got back to our dorm and a ton of vitamin c which i am super grateful for.
i didnt sleep until 4am i think and then at 5am the water boiler broke in my building and bc im on the 9th floor we were closest to it. it was a LOUD banging, i woke up thinking that smoeone was trying to break into our room through our window. some rooms got flooded apparently, but luckily not ours.
tuesday 11/15/22
i woke up feeling a bit worse but i was still able to function. my sore throat had lessened, i was mainly just feeling dizzy and my body had felt so heavy. i took another rapid and this time it was fully negative, no faint line. my pcr also returned and it was negative slay. i think im just dealing with a bad cold or sinus infection again
i had to get up at 1:30pm to get ready for my hiring paperwork appointment at 2pm. i finally got hired at the study slayyy!! i got my uniform and filled out the identification forms and everything, but honestly HR and the whole hiring process is still pretty unorganized.
after my appointment, i grabbed food at rende west and ran into yasmine. we talked for a bit before she returned to her dorm. i got a steak burrito. i was feeling too dizzy to continue being outside and went back to my dorm to rest and do some work
at 8pm, i went out to watch my friends play capture the flag. it was pretty fun watching them, but it was also super cold. i remember being so cold that my feet felt so numb to the point where i thought they were going to fall off.
i walked back to the dorm with pauline afterwards and put on more layers of clothing.
i choreographed a dance to a part of CPR by cupcakke, i really love femme dancing
i headed out to fireside to hangout with my friends and help choreograph some more dances, and ended up working until 4:20am.
i headed back to my dorm, gave my boyfriend a goodnight hug because he was still awake studying for his midterm, and then crashed in my bed
Wednesday, 11/16/22
i woke up today DYING. i woke up at 7:30am from a coughing fit that just would not end. i felt like i was sweating but so cold at the same time and that the world was slightly rocking. i ended up going in and out of sleep just coughing and rolling and coughing some more and trying to breathe without it hurting. i ended up having to cancel all my plans for today and was bedridden
my boyfriend came by my dorm to drop off some dayquil, which helped a lot with my coughs. i went back to sleep and woke up around 4pm.
at 4pm, i went to go shower to see if it would help make me feel better. it did make me feel better, but i accidentally was showering in too hot water and i almost fainted from the steam i think. i felt a lot better after showering though, but i was still having trouble breathing and coughing like crazy so i went back to my dorm to rest and do any work i can online.
my boyfriend dropped off food for me at 5:30pm, i ate spicy tuna poke bowl from the aloha fridays food truck. this was the first thing i ate today.
i called some friends and my mom to see how they were doing and it was nice talking to them. jason called me to see how i was feeling and came by to drop off some medicine for me which i am very grateful for, he is truly da best
i've been doing work since from my bed. my boyfriend finished his scrimms at 9pm and is going to drop off food for me soon. i asked him to get me a sandwich from the study. in fact, he just gave it to me rn at 10:57pm i love my boybae <3
after i eat, im just going to keep working and getting as many things done as possible until i cant handle staying awake anymore.
overall, today was a 2/10 bc health was dookey but i am happy that i am surrounded by such nice people
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Hybrid!AU Wolf!Bakugou Katsuki HCs Part 2.
Summary: Part 2 is here! While in part 1 it was mostly adoption and how he'd behave with you as a roommate, part two is him ✨ realizing things ✨ followed by how he'd be in a romantic relationship.
Word Count: 2k words [ oops, I did it again ]
Notes: So I said it'll be out in a few days but three [3] people asked me for part 2 and I'm a sucker soooooooo!! I could've just written a long ass fic but whatever, I thought I'd make it shorter in headcanons... hah lol right. Enjoy!
Part 1 here!
× he's a wild wolf so he's very active; like you need to understand he needs to go outside if not he'd get impatient, more aggressive, snappy, so once you took him on an easy hiking trail near your house and he loved it so once or twice a month you both go together to different places [ he demands it ]
× it's hard to keep up with him bc he's literally genetically engineered to be better than any very fit human being but he slows down for you
× morning runs at 5 a.m. bc he's insane
× is also a grandpa
× watched all documentaries on any streaming platform you could provide to him, also loves reading
× as months pass and you start to have your routine in order, word comes to you that an acquaintance is looking for a security guard at his mechanical shop two streets away from your house
× you casually mentioned it to Bakugou because he was starting to act anxious whenever you'd leave the house, so you assumed he was extra bored
× seriously, the house was spotlessly cleaned, he cooked amazingly and was occupied with your old laptop and going around the city to explore, but you guessed he wanted more independence?
× little did you know you were right but so wrong lol
× so Bakugou stared at you intensely and asked "Where?"
× it was as easy as telling him the location, him nodding and you thought he'd consider it; you didn't put any pressure on him because he already did so much to help around anyway
× well guess what bitch, next day he comes up to you saying you gotta co-sign his contract [cuz fuck society] meaning he got the job
× he was perfect for it because tall, intimidating, muscular wolf guy? who'd even mess with him? do they have a death wish?
× well, even before this he started to be... soft
× but once you really did show him you support whatever he wants to do, you give him his freedom and liberty of choice, he just reaaally changes, man
× he gets touchy, like his hands stay one second longer on your skin, he uses any excuse to have them on you, even his eyes follow you everywhere
× like c'mon, it's obvious but you didn't wanna put too much thought into it because we're respectful here
× not like you had a big fat crush on him and slowly started to realize it too
× sike bitch he knows
× you think his super-hearing didn't catch the way your heartbeat spikes up every single time he touches you? *please*
× i think he knows before you know
× meanwhile he is working to discover his feelings too
× so your relationship slowly turns into a couple's like relationship but without anything official and of course no kissing or such [ sadly ]
× would get jealous easily
× basically because nothing is talked between you two and deep down is insecure
× why the hell do you smell like other people? was it just a hug or something else? hell, why would you even hug people when he's right there??? just ask and don't touch some extras????
× another thing he does is getting very close to you while you talk to somebody else; scoffs and glares at them too
× ok so!! gifts! he really appreciates any gift you give him but scolds you if you do because you genuinely don't need to do that
× of course he just scolds you and calls you an idiot so I do hope you already learned his language
× it basically means that you shouldn't have done it, he's really grateful but seriously you shouldn't have
× like that one time you saved up money to get him a good computer and he forgot how to speak for like an hour
× the softest thank you ever afterwards
× still sounded rough but he was shocked as fuck
× one thing that remained in your brain were his friends, as sometimes he'd mention them
× so you took it upon yourself to find them, of course with his permission
× gets genuinely overwhelmed and plays it off saying he wouldn't mind knowing where those idiots ended but you didn't miss the way his voice trembled
× for you to find them you needed names and any information he could provide so that's when he, after a long silence and a mesmerized look on his face, started really talking about his life
× which was fucked; won't get much into detail but he was indeed in a fighting ring, people came and bet on whoever was stronger, he even had to fight his friends, everything was filled with abuse and their conditions were subhuman...
× just overall awful
× you couldn't help but hug him tight, feeling him shake in your arms
× with a hesitant voice he asked if you really did think there was a chance to find them
× just couldn't believe how amazing he felt in your arms
× or how your determination that night made his heart clench and took a big weight off his shoulders
× anywho;;;; after his first paycheck he takes you out on cute dates
× never calls them that, just demands you dress up [helps you out cuz boy got style] and takes you to a nice coffee shop or something
× AND on your fifth not date cuz you're not official but there's this weird tension between you date he finally kinda s n a p s
× you honestly didn't expect the waiter to flirt with you, he came out as very pushy and even if you were a lil uncomfortable you smiled and brushed it off
× when the waiter suggested giving you his number the sandy blond hybrid growled
× which i shit you not made the whole coffee shop freeze
× and you froze too
× but neither of you could say anything because the oblivious fuck kept talking
× basically joking about how you should keep your pet in a leash, to which you got up, threw some money on the table, grabbed Bakugou by the hand and leave before he'd rip someone's head off
× it only took you to touch Bakugou's arm to calm him down as he followed behind you wordlessly
× so you stood outside, angry, deep red eyes on your figure
× and silence
× his hand still in yours
× it was warm and amazing and you felt angry but your heart was beating loudly; angry at the waiter that you wanted to go full Karen on and get fired but excited because that growl shook you to the core, as if you could tell it was territorial and it was because of that pig flirting with you and did Bakugou Katsuki just lace his fingers with you?!
× "Oi." he interrupted your thoughts
× he turned your frame towards him and pulled you [kinda harshly] into him
× you'd make a comment about it but brain empty, just Bakugou Katsuki blushing
× "You're mine, you get it?"
× skdjflglykshs
× it sounded like he asked but it was a demand so oops you're his now ok bye
× like I said, boy isn't dumb so he lowkey knew you felt something too
× legit from there on he's just soft as fuck
× has a hard time opening up but visibly tries for you
× still continues to be a pain in the ass, Bakugou Style, but with a loving teasing attitude behind it
× his eyes give him away all the time
× they shine whenever you're in his field of view so congrats because, and this is the best part:
× WOLVES MATE FOREVER 💕💓💞💗💝💟
× oh yeah, he's yours, no takebacks
× he isn't one to half-ass the relationship; you're his now and he'll do anything for you
× big time touch starved it hurts
× because he is shy
× so whenever you introduce him to hand holding and cuddles, he can't get enough
× not big on PDA [ and not recommended since human-hybrid relationships are kiiiinda frowned upon but it's getting better ]
× although at home it's another deal
× seriously cuddle him; he's big into the protector vibe so he's a big spoon almost exclusively unless it's to sleep on top of you
× speaking of! accept that even if your relationship isn't that intimate, he'd still hint about sleeping together in the same bed
× so you better catch on when he does because he'll just click his tongue and call you needy
× while dragging you to bed
× sleeps holding you, his nose in your hair or in the crook of your neck
× unless it's summer then stay on your side 💅
× you know those kisses that just scream "I can't get enough of you"? that's his whole kissing vibe in a sentence
× hell, even the gentlest kiss gives that vibe away and it'll 100% leave you breathless
× doesn't have experience but is a very fast learner
× pays very close attention to your body language
× really into biting your skin enough to leave marks
× wear his hoodies
× no, I'm fucking serious, wear them now
× his chest puffs and he turns into a blushing mess when you do it the first times because his scent is on you
× scenting is a big thing for him so of course he's gonna love it
× 10x more territorial because now he has a mate to protect
× jealous but trusts you
× still very jealous though
× let's all pretend he is definitely not scenting you before you go out because it's in his nature and it is embarrassing
× the first time he tells you he loves you it's when he's feeling vulnerable
× the search for his friends is still on-going, he feels less than adequate as a providing mate, is pissed at the world for treating him like an inferior animal when they created him, everything is piled on his shoulders and whenever than happens he closes off
× you notice immediately
× will not tell you at first
× it's only when you go to bed and he turns his back to you when you really know it's bad
× even if you fought before, he'd angrily snuggle you at night-time
× now it's so different
× hug him, whisper sweet nothings in his ear, pull a blanket all over you both and big spoon him, he'd start shaking and talking in no time
× will hide his tears from you but you'd know
× "You're the best fucking thing that happened to me, [Y/N]... I—... Shit... I love you so much."
× neither of you slept that night
× excuse you? drink some water and pray to jesus;;; you talked about feelings, ok? communication is key in a relationship, puh-lease
× [ i have this whole nsfw hcs post already cookin in my brain so maybe I'll make it happen cuz y'all know he has a mating season and all that comes with it 👀 ]
× back to being children of jesus here
× thanks the moon, the heavens and all the gods for putting you in his life; boy didn't believe in destiny but deep down he thinks you were meant to be
× you still better wash the dishes or you'll get your ass kicked.
Extra:
× you did find some of his friends, little by little, and even if he acted nonchalant, like k das cool, it was obvious he was extremely happy
× so they did get adopted too
× you got in contact with them on social media and they were all very excited about meeting
× so it was a chaotic meeting with a dog hybrid called Kirishima and a mouse like vibrat yellow guy called Kaminari
× they all were looking for Bakugou too since they were very worried about where he ended
× Kirishima shed manly tears when seeing Bakugou
× as they instantly welcomed you in their small group, they informed you both that the majority of the squad was adopted and they're in contact, while they're still actively looking for the others
× cue to the softest expression you've seen on Bakugou in public followed by "That's good"
× silence
× shock and silence
× Kaminari turning to you and whispering "You did this" with a hand on his heart, lips trembling as he wiped an imaginary tear
× insert instantly snappy Bakugou
× when everyone laughed and continued to make plans to meet up with the others, he just looked at you conversing with them, soft expression again on his features and his chest warming
× "Oh! Look, he's doing it again! Quick, take a pictur—"
× "SHINE!"
#bakugou katsuki x reader#noirewrites#hybrid!bakugou#hybrid!au#bakugou x reader#bakugou headcanons#bnha x reader
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Whumptober Day 28: Anger Born of Worry, Headache (Twilight)
AO3 link. This was born only bc I wanted more Malon and I didn't have any other ideas XD. Continuation of Day 6: Screams Across the Hall (Legend, Four, Time).
Part 2/3. Part 1. Part 3.
“I’m coming with you.”
“Absolutely not,” Warriors replied immediately. Malon crossed her arms and shifted her weight to one foot.
“Do you know the quickest path to Kakariko? Or where to cross the river?” She asked. Warriors opened his mouth, but couldn’t find the words and quickly shut it again.
“Has Link shown you the way to Death Mountain?” Malon asked, tilting her head to the side with a dangerous look on his face. Twilight felt the pounding in his head increase, and he brought a hand up to rub his forehead.
“She’s right, we’re going in blind,” Twilight said.
Warriors shook his head. “We’ve faced worse odds. Time would never forgive us if something happened to you.”
“He might not be around to forgive you if we don’t go soon,” Malon argued. She stepped up to the table and pointed to a path. “We can go on horses, at least to Kakariko.”
“We need to be focused, we can’t be worried about protecting you,” Warriors argued. Twilight leaned forward, elbows on the table and head in his hands.
“Link taught me to fight, I know my way around a sword.”
“The more the merrier,” Wild piped up from the corner.
“Thank you, Wild,” Malon said, just as Warriors said, “You don’t get a say in this.”
Twilight felt his patience splinter. He pushed his chair back and rose to his feet, sending Warriors a harsh glare.
“We’re wasting time,” Twilight said. “We’ve been standing around arguing for hours, while Hylia knows what is happening to them.”
“We’re planning-”
“We haven’t come up with anything! We’re grasping at strings. We need to go out there and find them.”
The others stared at him in shock. Twilight so rarely raised his voice, and he knew how to use that to his advantage.
Malon cleared her throat. “I’ll lead you there, then stay with the horses.”
“We need as much help as we can get,” Twilight said, locking eyes with Warriors. He knew Warriors would take it as a challenge, but Twilight couldn’t bring himself to care.
Warriors sighed, and rubbed a hand across his face. “Alright, fine. But when Time finds out about this, you’re taking the blame. We leave in an hour.” Warriors stalked out of the room. The others followed in a tense silence.
Twilight let out a long breath then fell back into the chair. His head was pounding, and he hadn’t slept since they found out Legend, Four, and Time were missing. It was catching up to him.
“Twilight?” Malon asked in a soft voice. It took Twilight a lot of effort to drag his eyes up to meet hers.
“Why don’t you get a little bit of rest before we go?” Malon asked. Twilight shook his head.
“No, I’ve got to make sure the others are ready to go,” Twilight said, and pushed himself up to his feet. He couldn’t stop for comfort, not when the others were captured and suffering. Not when he had seen them mere minutes before they were taken, and done nothing.
“You don’t look well,” Malon said, and placed a gentle hand on his arm.
Twilight shook it off. “I’m fine. I’ll rest when they’re back.”
Malon gave him a look he didn’t have the energy to decipher. Twilight shook his head and brushed past her. She called after him, but Twilight didn’t listen.
To be continued :)
#whumptober2022#no.28#anger born of worry#headache#linked universe#fic#linkeduniverse#lu fic#linked universe fic#lu twilight#lu malon#lu warriors#ace writes#twi doesn't really like being in charge
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Manager!Seijoh Part 4
a/n: I LIVE FOR THESE MANAGER SEIJOH ASKS LIKE BLS TAKE OVER MY LIFE
(i originally planned to write the other schools for the manager scenario like theyre already in my drafts with plans and partly written out but like seijoh is my TOP PRIORITY (sorry pls dont hate me) BC THEY ARE MY BOIS)
also, most of my ask box is all for a kyoken ending and kyoken fluff and aoba johsai fluff and im quaking bc this is spurring me to create more aoba johsai imagines and my love for the other schools is just like being overshadowed by our little plant babies :’)
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
anon request: Im the anon who mentioned the chaos about the dating and can I say I love it!!! 🙏🙏 i kinda have this hc for the boys that they fight whenever they go on bus rides, just because they want yn to sit next to them. But she usually sits next to the calmer members?? The reason the boys fight?? She may or may not have fallen asleep a few times, her head on kyo/iwa shoulder. 🥺🥺
LMAO THAT PART JUST REEKED CHAOTIC ENERGY AND SHE WOULD TOTALLY SIT NEXT TO THEM JUST TO SPITE THE OTHERS AND I LOVE THE IRONY LIKE THE MOST AGGRESSIVE LOOKING ARE THE SOFTEST AND CALMEST TOWARDS HER LIKE PLEASE KYOKEN AND IWA ARE JUST LITTLE SOFT BEANS AND DESERVE THE WORLD
(bruh im so soft for iwa and kyo like my best bois and i must write them out IMMEDIATELY bc theyre so uggghhhhhh!!!!!!!)
MY TWO MEN IN ONE GIF GOD HAS BLESSED ME-
oh dear
bus rides,,,,, yep here we go
the team is usually peaceful and civil w each other (minus iwa literally beating oiks up but thats irrelevant information)
like they dont really have fights or have any arguments bc they meet up every saturday to talk about the week and if anybody had any concerns or anything they were mad about since it was like a family meeting
but boy oh boy
when you entered this family,,, arguments and misunderstandings happened once a week
‘no! y/n-chan said she was going to go shopping with me!’
‘um, she already agreed to go to to the arcade w me’
‘wait, she told me we were going to go visit that cafe!’
yes you agreed to do those things w them but you never assigned a date
your attention was something that these boys were always wanting since they only see you during club hours and practices
their jealousy gets really ugly sometimes and the two first years actually get all smug about it
‘hm, y/n, we still up for studying later?’
you ruffled his hair and smiled up at him
‘yep! we need to set an alarm though or else i’d end up staying after 1 in the morning again’
‘great. cant wait’
kunimi rarely shows any emotion towards his senpais but they couldnt miss the smug smirk that made oikawa grip the volleyball and mattsun holding him back
god hes such a little shite
everyone knows that the first years have a upperhand than them bc of your same grade so the upperclassmen were much more sensitive to spending time with you outside of practice
and they liked to spend that time wisely
when the time for away games come, you weren’t that worried about it
i mean,, why would you when boarding the bus is going to be so early in the morning at like 4 in the morning and theyd be sleeping the whole time so you get peace and quiet
in fact, you were looking forward!
but nope!
jesus took the wheel and said no
instead, you were watching the team members shouting and yelling at each other at the asscrack of dawn
say sike rn
the 2 coaches were actually not there yet so they werent able to help you and whip the boys to order so here you were, bleary eyed and clearly still tired, sighing and rolling your eyes at the fight
‘SHE SITS WITH ME! IM TEAM CAPTAIN! I GET DIBS!’
‘NO! YOU DROOL ON HER AND MESS UP HER CLOTHES! YOU LIKE MAKKI-SENPAI MORE, RIGHT, Y/N-CHAN?!’
now you might be asking me, ‘author-chan, why are they fighting so hard for something as simple as a bus ride?’
well, my young grasshoppers, this is not just a simple bus ride
you are infamous in the team to be a sleeper
no matter what form of transportation, bus, car, any surface, you found yourself in dream land
yall i wish i was like that
the sleep paralysis demon beside my bed says otherwise
they freak out and fight over even a simple touch of affection from you, do you really think they wouldnt fight tooth and nail to being your pillow and freely watching your adorable sleeping face?
these men are fighting as if they were fighting something serious like a world war
lmao with how intensely theyre fighting, it practically is
but there were two players who actually didnt care either way since they only wanted you to be the most comfortable and they werent exactly the most squishiest members
in fact, they were basically all muscle and probably not the most comfortable
NOPE I BELIEVE THAT IWA IS IN FACT ONE OF THE MOST COMFIEST AND BEST PILLOWS IN THE ENTIRE HAIKYUU UNIVERSE
totally not my bias talking or anything
so it was no surprise when they didnt get themselves involved
iwa was already done w them and goes in the bus because mom deserves a nap
naturally, kyo follows the leader and boards the bus after him, leaving the others to fight it out in the school parking lot
you were happy that they were too distracted that they wouldnt notice you sneaking away into the bus and you were slightly disappointed that out of all the seats, kyo had to sit in the one-seater by the front
so you immediately went over to the other person, who was iwa-san, and he was just settling in, pulling out his teal blanket
you blinked at him when he caught you stare but he gently smiled before opening the blanket
‘i was never a fan of window seats anyways’
you happily bounced over to him and you placed your bag at the overhead compartment bc seijoh is bougee and can afford everything before you climbed over him to the seat next to the window
iwaizumi tried to make you as comfortable as he can so he kept the seat divider thing yanno what im talking about? between you
but his eyes widened when you casually pulled it up and snuggled closer to him
youve done this before so he opened his right arm for you to cuddle closer but he was still surprised
meanwhile,,,
you just closed your eyes with a smile as you pulled the blanket to your chin and practically glomped yourself to iwa
ugh im so jealous of you!!!!!!!!!!
‘hmmmm, youre so warm iwa-san. youre like,,,,, jacob from twilight’
his eyebrow quirked and he smiled, wrapping his arm around you and tightly holding you close
‘oh? the werewolf?’
he felt your head nod
‘mhm. so warm, and strong, yet so gentle and soft’
by now, both your legs were already swung over his lap and head on his chest as you sat sideways
his fingers traced circles around your middle as his other hand was fiddling with your fingers
‘didnt he like mark a little girl?’
‘iwa-san dont talk about that!’
his laugh grumbled his chest and you giggled, trying to become even closer towards his naturally warm chest and inhale his scent
lavender mixed with peppermint
it was such an odd combination from the people you knew and you were immediately drawn to it
thats why you usually wore his jacket rather than your own
he always gets confused as to where it is but you steal it and watch him look for it
you didnt hear that from me though
it didnt take a long time for you to fall asleep and by the time the 2 coaches finally arrived and yelled at the players, they were already late
‘oikawa, i thought youd handle this properly!’
oiks whimpered from the coach’s scolding but apologized then pushed everyone in
the sight in front of them made them both boil in jealousy and squeal in uwus
you, the softest and sweetest and kindest little flower human being, being cuddled up to iwaizumi, the brute and bara arms and the ultra macho strong man, who had his head on top of you
KYAAAAAAAA
even though they knew you were a heavy sleeper and iwa slept like a rock, they still quieted down and silently walked over to their seats, hissing and shushing at anyone who even made the slightest bit of noise
rustle of the bags?
SSSSHHHHHH
seat creaking as they sit down?
SSSHHHHHHHH
they only let this slide bc your sleeping face was just so cute and they didnt have the heart to wake you up
and also face the wrath of titan iwa and be thrown into the atlantic ocean like oikawa did one time
when you finally arrived at the stadium, they waited for a rough 10 minutes just to figure out how to wake you up
they didnt want to wake up iwa first and have him yell at them but they didnt want to wake you up first either
but kyo didnt understand the dilemma and instead just goes to the back where yall were at and he goes to the seat behind you so he could reach you easily and tickles your cheek
the team is just like 👁️👄👁️
your nose scrunches at this tingling sensation until it continues so you open your eyes and finds kyo just smiling down at you
oiks is literally shaking bc he could see the smallest smile on kyo’s face
‘wake up’
with his gruff voice, it sounded like he was ordering you around but you knew he couldnt help it and blinked tiredly at him, giving him a smile of your own
‘hm, hi kyo-san’
you winced at the sudden appearance of the sunlight and that made you fully wake up before flinched at the eyes of the other players
‘hello, everyone’
you said slowly and you sat up, noticing iwa still sleeping
oiks held his breath bc hes been friends w iwa since he was still a baby and he knows that its like waking up a sleeping dragon
‘wait y/n-chan-’
but you didnt listen and poked his nose
‘iwa-san? iwa-san, we’re here’
you cooed and the poking made his eyes flutter open and with his head still tilted to the side, he swore he saw an angel by the way the sunlight hit the back of your head giving you a smiling angel effect
hm, i could get used to seeing this when i wake up
you grinned and when he finally stretched, you sat up stright, waiting for iwa to get up so you could slide out
but kyo was an impatient little bean and just hoisted you out of there and towards him behind the seat
‘come on. i got your bag’
he mumbled and you nodded, letting him hold your hand
lmao wait i forgot the time this is set
this is set during the 2nd inter-high okay? okay
oiks was still complaining at kyo and iwa hogging you but you didnt listen and continued walking towards the entrance, glancing around at the other teams
as usual, oiks and iwa were walking to the front bc yanno, captain and vice-captain, while you and kyo walked at the back, mainly bc you didnt want any player to stray off like kindaichi did last time and look for him for hours
kyo gripped your hand and you turned your head to look at him to see his eyes glaring at anything
you chuckled which made him look down at you, the glare slowly disappearing
‘hm, kyo-san, you should really invest in contacts. it doesnt matter if wearing glasses makes you feel like a nerd bc you still need it to see’
he scrunched his nose when you scolded him and he was about to retort when him and the team caught the whisperings of the nearby teams
‘oh my god, seijoh and the beautiful manager’
‘how old is she? i hope shes at least a second year’
‘ngh id tap that’
IM BLEEHHHHH
‘is he her boyfriend? if so, the competition isnt that hard then’
kyo growled and was about to lunge at the yellow jacketed boy but you held him back, also worriedly looking at your boys
‘seijoh, down’
you ordered and they shrunk back, opting to just glaring heatedly at the other teams
you could still feel kyo shaking at rage to them sexualizing you but your hands squeezing him and the other hand rubbing his arm helped him control it
‘dont make a scene, kyo-san. its your first competition since your suspension, right? and you love volleyball so please keep it in. i can protect myself’
you whispered but he let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close and continuing to glare at everyone as if he was asserting dominance
‘if they touch you-’
‘ill kick them between the legs, i know. you told me already’
you teased and he hummed in agreement
when they played, they were at ease bc the two coaches were there and they were also protective of you like their own so they wouldnt have to worry about someone to go after you
however,,
as they were warming up for the second game, you had to quickly fill up their water bottles bc they were already tired and dehydrated so you needed to fill them up
and they were all busy and you didnt want to bother them and you were going to be quick anyways so you just took the case of bottles and ran to the nearby water fountain
you were hurriedly filling them up and at your last bottle, you were about to cap it when you felt a presence behind you
he stood close and his arms snaked around your waist but you hurriedly tightened the lid and whacked him at the head with the heavy bottle
you continuously hit him and kicked him between the legs before hitting him again
‘DONT TOUCH ME AGAIN!’
you shouted and iwa and kyo were watching from the end of the hallway, panting from running so fast since they heard your shouts
okay a little flashback,
kyo was watching you from his perepharal vision and when he went up to spike, he took his eyes off of you for ONE DAMN SECOND and you nyoomed out of there
when he didnt see you anywhere, he wildly looked around and this caught the attention of the vice-captain
‘oi! kyotani! whats wrong?’
‘y/n. where is she?’
they took off running and the team was just like what
then they heard shouts and kyo knew it was you
his mad dog senses
hehe get it
he as about to tackle the guy but he saw you beat him with a water bottle and eventually taking another bottle and kicking him and hitting him with the two waters
the player cowered and scrambled to get away bc wow this girl was psycho
um no sir, she was protecting herself from hormonal testosterone filled children like you
‘YEA GO RUNNING! COME TO ME AGAIN AND ILL BEAT YOU UP HARDER! DISGUSTING! TRASH! GROSS! SCUM!’
maybe it was because the last time you were touched without consent was when you got bullied but you were definitely fighting harder and more aggressive at protecting yourself
you turned around and the rage from your eyes disappeared when you saw the two boys there
‘hey iwa-san! kyo-san! sorry, i needed to fill the water bottles!’
you grinned and placed the bottles back to the case before lugging it up
my god their eyes were shining
yep, thats my girl
when their games were over for the day, they made their way to the exit where the bus was at and you and kyo stayed behind again
you caught the eye of the guy and his team and you and kyo glared at him, both wearing a sadistic smile
UGH YALL ARE COUPLE GOALS I SWEAR
kyo even went up to him and the team shrunk leaving the guy standing there in fear at the look on his face
‘listen, i dont like it when my baby girl gets touched by filthy shite like you. so do it again, and ill chop those damn fingers of yours, got it?’
lmao he’ll come for your ankles
the guy just nodded in fear while his team were cowering at the back
you chuckled and pulled kyo to go bc as much as you liked watching this, you needed to go to the bus to go home
‘cmon, kyo, i want to go. im getting a headache from the smell of garbage’
he shifted his gaze to you and sent you a soft smile
‘okay. lets go’
hah you thought it ends there?
kyo is a dramatic little shite so he made a show of grabbing your waist and kissing your temple before flashing them a finger
oiks was tapping his foot impatiently at the bus and when you and kyo emerged from the entrace, he was about to snatch you up but kyo stood in front of you
‘EH?! KYOKEN-CHAN, I WANT TO SIT WITH Y/N-CHAN!’
‘no’
he said and didnt say anything else as he pulled you to the bus and into a two seater where you sat at the window again and he sat on the outside
‘hah? you want to sit next to me, kyo-san?’
you teased but he flushed red, hurriedly hiding in your neck
you laughed and brought a hand up to caress his nape
‘mhm’
he mumbled and you pursed your lips to hide the squeal
‘youre so cute, kyo-san’
‘not cute’
‘very cute’
‘no’
‘AM I CUTE Y/N-CHAN?’
‘SHUT UP SHITTYKAWA’
kyoken got away from your neck and went to hit the captain
oikawa screamed
a/n: my first week of school was so weird bc we only have like 2 days and the other days are just free days bc we havent really done anything except talk about our classes but im just hating this system like ugh i actually want to go to school bc ya girl is going to a tech school and this 2-day a week is not the vibe
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!! imagines#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!! headcanons#aoba johsai#aoba johsai x reader#aoba josai x reader#aoba josai#seijoh#aoba johsai imagines#aoba josai imagines#seijoh imagines#seijoh manager#haikyuu manager#haikyuu!! manager#aoba johsai manager#aoba josai manager#seijoh x reader#aoba johsai headcanons#aoba josai headcanons#seijoh headcanons#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu!! fluff#aoba johsai fluff#aoba josai fluff#oikawa tooru
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comethru
Pairing: Bokuto x F!Reader
Summary: In which you’ve been going through a rough time, and Bokuto comes through when you need him.
Words: 1.3k
Warnings: Very sappy self-indulgent writing, angst, one (1) Shrek reference (I’m so sorry), Bokuto might be ooc (hopefully not in a bad way)? Idk if I’m great at writing him bc it’s very soft and ik that’s not usually his personality, I just like the idea of soft Bo...
A/N: Oops another songfic (welcome to my blog, it’s going to be a common theme). This one is based on the song comethru by Jeremy Zucker. I didn’t plan for this to be a songfic, but it just fit really well with what I wanted to write, and also I love this song and it makes me cry. I bolded the lyrics I included :) I hope that this might make at least one person feel a little better if you’re having a rough time, I want you to know that you’ve got this <3
“Hey, Bo,” you said, giving him a weak smile as you answered the door.
He looked different than he normally did, but so did you. His broad shoulders drooped sleepily and his hair fell in front of his eyes instead of being gelled up like usual, but what else could you expect at 2 am? He still had his signature grin on his face, and his presence enveloped you in a relaxed atmosphere.
“Hey,” he hummed, and you could hear that his voice was thick with sleep. It made you feel a bit guilty—you had woken him up, something you feared might happen when you had debated whether to text him or deal with this on your own. The grin quickly fell from his face as he took you in. Your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes, your shoulders were slumped and the dark circles beneath your eyes gave away the fact that you’d barely slept in days. “What’s wrong?”
You stared at him for a few moments, chest aching as you tried to find the words to say. “Everything,” you finally whispered, and as soon as the word left your lips, he was pulling you into a hug before the first sob could escape you. Tears began to roll down your cheeks, wetting his shirt as you clung to him.
“Let’s walk,” he suggested quietly, knowing that was one of the things you liked to do to clear your head. You nodded, and when you began to pull away, he gently grasped your wrist. You looked up at him, cheeks wet with tears, and he reached up to wipe them away. He held out a sweatshirt to you that you hadn’t even noticed him holding, and your heart jumped when you took it. It was his favorite sweatshirt, one he’d only let you wear once out of fear you’d never return it to him, and he’d only relented after what felt like an hour of begging and promising him that you would give it back, as much as you didn’t want to.
“Thank you,” you whispered as you pulled it on, and he smiled down at you before taking your hand in his. You let the door close behind the two of you and you began to walk through your neighborhood. You kept your head down, watching your feet, while Bokuto kept his up, looking at the stars. His thumb rubbed over your knuckles, his other hand stuffed into his pocket. After you’d walked a few blocks or so he looked down at you and pursed his lips when he noticed your gaze was fixed on your shoes. He gave you a gentle nudge with his elbow.
“Hey,” he whispered, “the stars are really pretty tonight, don’t you think?” Your gaze lifted to the sky only for a moment before you nodded, looking back down at the cracks in the pavement. He frowned. “It’s gonna be okay. I’m here. I’ll always be here when you need me.”
Before you knew it, you were crying again, causing Bokuto’s eyes to widen in panic. He stopped walking, pulling you to him and hugging you tight to his chest.
“You’re shaking,” he said quietly, causing you to sniffle.
“I’m s-sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
You hiccupped and wrapped your arms around him. “These last few weeks have been exhausting.”
Frowning, he leaned his cheek against the top of your head. “I know,” he whispered, rubbing slow circles on your back. He knew you were going through a lot, and he was glad he could be here for you when you needed him. It made his heart soar to know he was the one you wanted with you, but it also hurt to see you feeling so broken. “But everything is going to be okay. It’s alright to not be fine on your own. I’ll always come when you need me.”
You two stayed like that for a while, you pressed against his chest, his cheek nuzzled into your hair and his promise hanging in the air like his breath that he watched fog up in front of him under the soft glow of a street lamp that buzzed over your heads. You looked up at him when you began to shiver from the cold, and he was sure it was the moonlight that was making your wet cheeks sparkle. “C-Can we go back now?” you asked meekly.
He nodded, unwrapping his arms from you and then taking your hand again. “You’re cold,” he observed, and you made a quiet noise of agreement. He pulled you closer, taking your clasped hands and putting them in the pocket of his sweats as the two of you retreated to your house. Blushing, you tucked your other hand away in the pocket of his hoodie that was far too big on you and walked beside him in a comfortable silence. When you finally reached your door you squeezed his hand, looking up at him pleadingly. “Stay with me,” you whispered, “please.”
Your heart fluttered at the gentle smile he gave you. “’M not going anywhere.” He squeezed your hand in return and let you lead him inside. The two of you removed your shoes, and then he was lifting you up before you could realize it was happening. He let you rest your head on his shoulder and wrap your arms and legs around his broad frame as he carried to your room. He kicked the door shut behind him and then set you on your bed before squatting down and taking your hands in his. “Did you drink enough water today? Do you need to take a shower?” he asked, golden eyes boring into yours in a way that made you feel both incredibly safe and vulnerable at the same time. Maybe it was okay to be both, as long as it was with him. “Tell me what you need to make you feel better.”
You blushed again, and this time there was no hiding the pink in your cheeks, no cold night air to blame it on. “Just need you, Bo,” you whispered. “Jus’ wanna cuddle. Wanna sleep.”
He nodded and gave you a sleepy smile. You didn’t need to ask him twice. He moved slowly and removed the hoodie he was wearing before laying down with you. He ran warm, and he knew you liked to be able to warm your hands up against his skin when the two of you cuddled. You immediately snuggled up to him, fingers sneaking beneath his shirt to allow your palms to press against his back, and he draped an arm across you which provided a comforting weight and helped you relax. “Everything will be okay,” he repeated as he started slowly carding his fingers through your hair. “I’ll always come through when you need me.”
You let out a hum, and he could tell by the tone that it was a happy one. It made him smile.
“Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up,” he promised. “And in the morning, I’m makin’ waffles.”
You giggled, causing him to grin. Leave it to him to find somewhere to slip in a joke even in a situation like this.
“There she is,” he cooed, and you nuzzled your face into his chest shyly.
You slowly began to relax in his arms, feeling the tension in your body slowly fade away to make way for a comfort you hadn’t felt in a long time.
He watched you, only allowing himself to close his eyes once he heard the change in your breathing that signaled you were finally slipping into the best sleep you’d had in weeks. Something about it relaxed him too, and he held you even closer as he fell asleep. Yeah, he would always come through when you needed him.
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#bokuto x reader#bokuto koutarou x reader#bokuto x reader fluff#fluff#angst#my writing
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better than this (dad!chris evans)
summary: a little insight into life as a parent with chris throughout the years
warnings: talk of preterm labor but nothing graphic or major
word count: 2,250
A/N: okay so like this idea came to me at 2 am and wrote it till about 5 in the morning and im crying at the softness. totally unedited and posted bc im so obsessed with it. i havent written in this kind of format before but i loved loved loved it. i was also thinking while writing this to do this but for steve rogers and i swear i lost my mind. if you guys are interested in something like that id love to write this but for steve <3
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After meeting through some mutual friends you fell in love with each other. Chris swore he would have married you after your first date. A ring came about a year and a half later, Chris not wanting to call you anything but his wife for any longer. One dream wedding and a month-long honeymoon around the world, you were Mrs. Y/N Evans.
The conversation about kids came fairly early in the relationship. Him coming from a big family, he wanted the same for himself. He wanted a big house in the Massachusetts suburbs, the white picket fence, a couple of dogs, and the kids. He wanted to come home from work being attacked by a couple of kids and seeing you walking towards him barefoot and pregnant.
You were an only child to divorced parents, growing up mostly on your own. You never saw yourself as a mom, but always loved the idea of running after a couple of kids. Never wanting to bring a child into the kind of world you grew up in. The sad and lonely kind of world you endured most of your life. After meeting his family after a couple of months of dating and seeing the way he interacted with his nieces and nephews, you couldn’t help but hope to see yourself raising some kids with him.
He loved the idea of raising a family with you.
Grayson Christopher Evans
You brought your first child into the world not too long after your wedding.
You were in labor for about 16 hours before you were met with the screams of a baby boy.
Your baby boy.
He cried and cried until his skin met yours, calming him down almost instantly. Looking over at Chris who was at an absolute loss for words at the little person calming himself with the sound of your heartbeat. He looked at you for a while before looking back at his baby boy.
Chris couldn’t quite process the feelings he felt that night his son was born. He knew how much he loved you. You knew how much you loved him. But having this little person as a tangible expression of your love and commitment for each other was just beyond him. It was beyond anyone.
Grayson was just like his dad. Almost an exact copy of him if you were being honest. The same big blue eyes. The same soft brown hair. The same everything. Lisa often said how much Grayson was just like Chris was when he was a kid. There was little of you visible in him. Maybe he had the curve of your nose and the shape of your lips. But he was all Chris.
His little personality bubbling since day one. You couldn't have asked for a more perfect baby. He giggled as much as he could and played until he fell asleep with a toy in his hand. You were so lucky to have been gifted this little boy as your first baby. Chris had been struggling to balance work and his responsibility to you and Grayson but never failed to make sure you knew how loved you both were, even from thousands of miles apart.
Eleanor Olivia Evans
After another long labor, you welcomed a little girl into your new family of 4. A tiny little girl who, just like your boy once did, calmed themselves down at the sound of your heart and the warmth from your body. Chris once again sat there just absolutely beside himself at the sight of the love of his life with his little girl on your chest.
Introducing Eleanor, or Ellie, to Grayson was probably one of the greatest moments of your life. Chris walked in with Grayson in his arms telling him that we needed to use our indoor voices when talking to mommy and the baby. Grayson quickly climbed to sit right next to you, not bearing even 1 day away from you. You hugged your little boy and talked to him about meeting his sister. Grayson ran his little hands running along Eleanor’s cheeks as you sat there crying at the moment they were having with each other.
Now with a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old life couldn’t have been sweeter. You had hardly been working while pregnant with Ellie, still having to keep up with a rambunctious toddler. Before kids, you were doing some writing for all sorts of movies and TV shows. After kids, you took fewer jobs that require travel and stayed mostly local.
Chris not wanting to leave you at home with a toddler and a newborn had made sure his work kept him close or allowed you and the kids to go with him. You both wanted to make sure you were there when Grayson and Ellie needed you.
If Grayson was a mama’s boy, Ellie was 1000% a daddy’s girl. She refused to let Chris out of her sight if she could help it. She refused to sleep most nights without hearing the sound of her dad’s voice and would cry and cry if he didn’t sing her to sleep. When Chris was pulled away for a week for work you were losing your mind trying to get her to sleep.
After a mild breakdown, you gave in and called Chris knowing even hearing his voice over the phone would calm the baby down. He sat there on the phone and just talked to her. She fell asleep almost immediately and slept through most of the night. You thanked Chris and ended up asking him for voice recordings of him talking and singing so you could play them in case he was pulled away again.
Charlotte Rose Evans
Charlotte, or Charlie as she's been nicknamed by her siblings, came into the world with a crew waiting so patiently for her arrival. By far the most painful and complicated birth you have had, she had quite dramatically made her entrance into the Evans family.
You had been monitored closely the last couple of months of your pregnancy as Miss Charlie tried to make an appearance early. You had some complications about halfway through and your midwife had been worried about possible preterm labor. You had started to have what you knew were contractions at 30 weeks and were immediately rushed into the hospital to try and halt the contractions and luckily succeeding.
You were placed on strict bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy, not even allowed to stand at the stove making dinner, only getting up to use the bathroom and move from the bed to the couch.
It didn’t make your life with an overactive 4 and 2-year-old easy at all. Chris stayed home 24/7 to take care of you and his mom and sisters rotating taking the time to stay with you to help with the kids.
When Charlie did make her debut both of you were as healthy as you could be. Once again, bringing Chris to tears as another baby made their way into your family. He didn’t know he was capable of loving this much. He thought he had reached capacity after Ellie but the love he had for you and his kids just kept growing as you kept adding on.
If Grayson was all Chris, Charlie was all you. Except for her blue eye, which you figured would be a pattern with your kids. She was a copy of you and Chris ate it up. Eleanor is a perfect combination of the two of you. You could see the traits of you as well as the traits of Chris throughout her. But Charlie was completely you.
Grayson fit right into his role as big brother and protector of the Evans girls. He made sure every night he said goodnight to his sisters and told them he loved them with a kiss on their foreheads.
Ellie was excited that she no longer had to share her dolls with Grayson and would finally have a girl to play with. Charlie looked up to her big sister, seeing her as the most amazing person she has ever met.
Grayson, however, felt like he needed another sibling, specifically a boy sibling, and constantly asked you for a brother. He said to you over and over again that his friends at school had brothers and he needed one so very bad. You and Chris had agreed to stop at 3 but had given into the idea of having 1 more to try and even out the numbers. With Grayson in 2nd grade, Ellie in kindergarten, and Charlie starting Pre-K soon, having another wouldn’t be impossible.
Declan Robert Evans
The 2nd boy and the 4th and final child Chris and Y/N had brought into their world. Another perfect mix of Chris and Y/N.
His birth being the last time you would be in the hospital having a baby made it just that more emotional. You soaked in the first moments of his life just a little bit more. Chris cried just a couple more tears, seeing that angel on your chest for the first time. You admired the father of your children just a little more seeing him introduce the addition to the family to your other kids. Adoring the look on Grayson’s face when you set Declan on his lap, finally meeting the little brother he’d been wanting. Asking you if he could take him to class to show off to all his friends.
Walking around your house Declan’s first day home was more emotional than you had thought it would be. You brought every single one of your babies right through your front door. You had pictures littered around the house of moments in your life you were lucky to have immortalized forever. Knowing you had started your family here made you love everything just that much more.
Declan now 5 years old, Charlotte 8 years old, Eleanor 10 years old and Grayson at 12 years old you couldn’t imagine life any differently. You and Chris celebrated 13 years of marriage and almost 15 years together surrounded by the physical representations of the love you two shared for each other was unexplainable.
You had slowly started to get back into the work you loved doing so much after Declan started school. You were able to work on projects offered to you with Chris and had become an unstoppable duo professionally and personally.
Even having the amazing opportunities to do something you loved to do, nothing would ever beat sitting around a table listening to your kids talk about everything and anything that came to mind. Listening to them talk about what happened at school or about upcoming events they want to participate in was the highlight of your day.
Grayson had been playing with a football the moment he could pick one up. Chris nearly cried when Grayson had approached you guys about doing little league football at the rec center. Chris had been watching Patriot's games with Grayson since the day he was born. Taking him to games with Scott whenever they had the chance. The love for football ran in his blood and when he found out he could play on a team he took the chance as soon as it presented himself.
Eleanor had found a love for music and performing, just like her dad. She had picked up music and singing at a very young age, which probably came from her dad's love of performing. You encouraged her to pursue her love for music by telling her stories of when her daddy was young and used to stand on stage before he started doing big movies. She loved looking at pictures and watching old videos of Chris performing in high school whenever she'd visit Grandma Lisa.
Charlotte had picked up your love of reading and writing as soon as she could. Her favorite day of the week is when her class gets to spend time at the library finding new things to read and learn about. So far a running theme with her is books about nature and animals. She loves sitting down with you in the afternoon and telling you about what she learned in the science portion of her day. She had learned about how plants and animals interact and how important they are for all humans. She told you that when she's big she wants to make sure no one ever hurts plants and animals since they are so important for us.
Declan hadn't quite developed a love for something like his siblings had. All he cares about right now is the kind of snacks his mom packs for him and superheroes. You and Chris had introduced him to the world of superheroes recently, knowing that being in school someone was bound to mention to him about seeing his dad on a movie they watched. He was obsessed with the fact that his dad was a superhero once upon a time. He loved watching Chris' movies and would always ask to watch them whenever Chris wasn't home.
You looked at Chris from across the table as Grayson talked to him about football tryouts and asking him if they could practice after dinner. He felt your eyes on him and looked at you with a smirk and a wink thrown at you before giving Grayson his attention again.
You sat back a little to look around at this family surrounding you, knowing there was nothing better than this.
#dad!chris evans#dad!chris#Chris Evans#chris evans x reader#christopher evans#chris evans imagine#chris evans oneshot#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans x fem!reader#chris evans smut#chris evans x pregnant!reader#chris evans blurb#chris evans x reader smut#chris evans x you#chris evans x female reader#Chris Evans x y/n#steve rogers x y/n#frank adler fanfiction#frank adler imagine#frank adler x reader#frank adler x you
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Would you mind sharing your thoughts about vex and Beau being cross campaign foils?
so!!!! first things first: apologies for taking weeks to answer this, finals + having adhd sometimes makes my brain turn to mush and forget every ask ive ever recieved. second of all, i’m assuming you sent me this bc of what i said in my vm vs. m9 how they view the world meta. and i’ll be real with you. i have exactly 0 memory of what was going through my head when i wrote that line, so i am simply going to type out a bunch of thoughts that i have on the similarities and differences between beau and vex and i hope that lives up to what you were expecting jsdflksjdksld
I'll detail some specifics in a moment, but overall, I think beau and vex share a very similar kind of trauma of exclusion in their formative years, that's caused them to have a lot of similar traits that manifest in different ways - for vex, she maintains control through her material posessions and beau finds an emotional control in her asshole-ness. I've broken this down into 5 points on which I think comparing the two really emphasizes that claim:
1. daddy issues: both beau and vex have awful no good terrible very bad dads. both syldor and thoreau can suck my ass. they both raised their kids with little love and impossible-to-meet expectations, alientating them and leaving them with lifelong feelings of inferiority and unbelonging. If beau and vex were to meet, i think they would have a very friendly toast to shitty dads, and then have a good drunk vent about it an hour later.
but, at the same time, the actual minutae of their trauma and the ways it manifests are nearly polar opposites. syldor wanted nothing to do with vex, or else wanted her to somehow become a full elf. her issue was that she would never be able to belong, despite her desire to, and as she grew up it lead to her being overly protective and even possessive of the people she found who DID accept her as she was.
With beau, rather than exclusion, her father created an environment of toxic inclusion. He created a role for beau to belong in, disregarding her distate for actually fulfilling it. And, as such, she ended up making herself into someone who could have no expectations and pushed away anyone who tried to set them up for her. In the end, they both came to love themselves by abandoning the woman their father wanted them to be but for vex it was the laying down of an impossible dream and for beau it was the picking up of a mantle she had feared to wear.
2. brothers: now, on the topic of family, I also think its really interesting how their interactions with their brothers play out. We've got vex and vax, tied at the hip til the very end and then some; and then we've got beau and TJ - decades apart and with beau barely acknolwedging TJ's existence. But, even that distance between beau and TJ didn't stop her caring for him when they actually met. She gave him lucky Jade, and she entertained the idea of kidnapping him to get him away from her stinko dad.
And I'd espeically like to talk about what she said outside the hag's hut - "I think Luc and TJ could be best friends", in comparison to the way Vex reacted when Vax told her was going to Zephrah with Keyleth for the year break. There's an aspect to the way they interact with their brothers that lets them slip back into those bad habits they formed growing up (NOT that i'm claiming vex and vax were like toxic for each other. but even good relationships can have unhealthy moments).
With Beau, when she offers to give her happiness so TJ can grow up safe, she's trying to take on the role she's ""supposed"" to fill - the big sister, the protector - because she failed to fill the one her father set out. And with Vex, when she grows jealous of Vax, it's because she's afraid that his leaving with keyleth is a sign that she no longer belongs in his inner circle, and she falls back on that childish, desperate desire to do anything to be accepted unconditionally.
3. romance: spoilers for 5 or so most recent m9 eps (115-120) if you haven't watched them ahead!!!! at this point, both vex and beau have an endgame romance - percy and yasha respectively. Obviously as the m9's campaign is still playing out, that could change, but like. yasha wrote her a love letter and they're officially going on a date so i'm counting that as at least endgame-track rather than just random flirting. What's interesting to me is that they both seem to flip between the SAME roles between their (in-game) general perception and their actual pursual of romance.
Vex gets characterized as a pretty big flirt, right? She's got the winks, the casual "darling". She's flashed grog her boobs on multiple instances with little prompting. Beau, similarly, has easily the most game out of anyone in the m9. She's slept with two guest characters and at least one more npc in the events of the game. Caleb made her a fuck mirror in her room in the mansion. And yet, in both of their actual romantic endeavors, they became the shy, uncertain type.
Vex only confessed her feelings when Percy was laying dead before her, and not an hour of game play before percy kissed her in the woods, she had a talk with vax about how she was pretty sure he didn't like her that way and she didn't want to pursue it. Beau, similarly, spent a very long time convinced that yasha wasn't looking for love after zuala, especially not in anyone like her, asked everyone in the party if they thought yasha ACTUALLY liked her, just to be safe, and then still terrified to ask her out after recieving a literal love letter. I'd argue this shift comes from that same sense of unbelonging - they're very good at pretending they fit a role but doubt their actual right to take it when the opportunity is presented. This time, the role is the lover rather than the daughter.
4. authority: Both vex and beau grew up shunned by the upper crust of society, and grew to mistrust those kinds of people. And yet, both of their arcs result in them assuming such a position. Vex, thrown out of high society gets her place as a baronness, and Beau, running from leadership of her father's business ends up a top member of the Cobalt Soul. There's not a lot here, but I find it interesting how both of their stories involve them shedding their baggage regarding authority and power and assuming it in a way that they feel comfortable in - invitation by someone she trusts for vex, and a promise of freedom of will and control for beau.
5. their deadliest sins: this is the point at which their similarities culminate and transform to a fundamental difference. despite everything they share - shitty childhoods, the small piece of family that's still good, flirtiness masking shy love, and a mistrust of those in power - vex and beau are such different characters because of their biggest vices. Vex, both in game and out, is "the greedy one". She's stingy with money, she haggles for everything, she mourns the loss of physical objects. Beau is "the mean one". She cares little for people's feelings if they're not in her immediate circle, she focuses on her tough guy image, she laughs at things she knows she shouldn't.
And, over the course of the campaign, as they find unconditional acceptance, they grow away from these traits (I won't say they grow out of them) because they heal from the things causing these vices to begin with. I've always been vocal about vex's greed being a manifestation of her class insecurity, and beau's asshole-ness stemming from her fear of being forced back into another position of complacency. And I stand by that now - all the similarities in their backstories are what tally up to these different women.
Despite her careful tally of party funds and her reflexive bargaining, vex is not cruel. she is not angry on her own behalf. She saves two boys from the market in the city of brass at great personal cost, she relinquishes an entire dragon's hoard to the devastated city of Westruun, she took the time to save a baby bear from a cage when she could have just cut and run after escaping her own. She's the first one most people go to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and she's devastated when they don't (thinkin about when Scanlan left). She carved "forgiveness" into the bow she stole from a man after killing him by proclaiming how much she loved someone, because she knew anger had no place in her heart.
And Beau, Beau is a bitch and she's harsh, but she doesn't hoard or protect like vex did. she spends her money without much of a second thought. She pitches in to help her friends buy a ton of glowsticks, and she loves to indulge in material desires like drink and good food and the nicer inn room. She's a member of an organization that's about making knowledge public rather than guarding it. And, though this may be controversial, I think her position with bowlgate of "its not our problem what cali wants to do with it", her long-standing mistrust of their alliance with the bright queen and and more recently with the tomb takers of "i want to go in and talk, rather than assuming they're antagonistic, even if it puts us at a disadvantage" are both examples of this non-possessiveness too - she has no need or desire to get involved in controlling what other people are doing.
so, i guess the general conclusion here is: vex struggles to let go of things, of money, of people. beau struggles to let herself be known in case she gets wrongly interpreted again. they both fight feelings of inadequacy, they both fight the feelings of not belonging, of 'doing it wrong', they fight the perception of them as shitty people because of the shells they hide in despite their absolute hearts of gold. but at the end of the day, vex's story is one of having to lay down what could never be hers so she can carry what is, and beau's story is one of allowing herself to be known so a place can be made for her.
#hope this is what you and that other anon were looking for jdsflkdsajfsaldfsa#critical role#vexahlia#beauregard#long post
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Update on my obnoxious evening last night
So after my bed collapsed at like 9pmish, I had to rearrange a lot of shit in my room including doing a ton of laundry bc there was no room for my hamper with the mattress on the ground. Then I moved the beanbag chair that used to be under the loft bed, to be resting on top of the bedframe, so I could put the mattress on the floor where the beanbag used to be (at a 90 degree angle from the bedframe so that my legs were sticking out). This was super difficult esp bc my neck still hurt from trying to sit in the collapsed mattress like a comfy chair for like an hour. Then I tried to rest on the mattress and briefly sat up while I was at an especially hard part in a switch touhou fangame, and luckily the suspended beanbag chose that moment to fall, so it only fell on my fat ass instead of directly on top of my whole self. Still then I had to rearrange more shit to make room for the beanbag on the floor, so now my room has basically zero floorspace.
Also around this point my mom came in to tell me that she'd just gotten off the phone with my aunt, and my barely-16yo cousin is in big trouble bc he's been scammed by a bookie doing sports gambling, and owes this asshole 400$ he doesn't have, and even now that he's been caught he isn't admitting he did anything wrong and is trying to convince my aunt to let him keep going because he'll break even after a few good turns, and that he doesn't need to get an actual job because he can use his sports smarts to make money gambling instead. And apparently this dude told him that he'd take 25$ off his debt for every friend he refers to him, and my cousin still thinks this is a great opportunity to make money so he's been totally roping his friends into it 🤪
Then once it was quiet I noticed that Winry (one of the guinea pigs) had audible rales (clicking sounds with breathing), and I could hear them even when she was in a pigloo and I was across the room. I took her out, listened a bit, and weighed her (she hadn't lost any weight) and then put her back and gave her some food, and her appetite and energy level seemed normal. That morning she'd briefly had a severe case of hiccups seemingly after swallowing sth wrong, so I was hoping she'd just inhaled some water and would feel better naturally soon. So I set my alarm for 7:45am, so I could check on her in the morning and try to get a same-day vet appt if she wasn't any better. However now it was like 2:30am so even though I wasn't really sleepy I took my usual sleeping meds plus the muscle relaxant so I could try to be up before 8.
Of course it was at this point my brother who had gone to sleep at like 5pm woke up and was all wanting to know everything that had happened so then I was like trying to explain to him even tho I was all woozy from meds but eventually I did fall asleep
So then my alarm woke me up and I picked up Winry and listened to her breathing again and she sounded normal and fine thank G-d, so I went back to sleep, and then slept until FOUR PM, had a dream that I got bottom surgery, and then woke up really sad that it was a dream, and really confused by it being sunset, with a headache, and also in a ton of neck and back pain. I'm not sure if it's bc of how much furniture moving I did, sleeping on the floor, stress, etc but holy shit I feel 70 yrs old.
Plus my brother was going to bed right at that time, and my mom was leaving for a dinner date, so I basically missed everyone and was immediately put in charge of the puppy, who wanted to play at first and I was like Oh No but now he's actually fallen asleep on my legs so that's not so bad.
So anyway how are you all?
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