#and then id be like hold on its english why are you Speaking english so id stare at his mouth and it wasnt moving?
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unrelatedly.... Refreshing pickled ginger palette cleanser bc as Ive said Lev uses my english and habits for writing a lot of the time (and im heavily influenced by him lately), and lately ive been like "ugh god i dont know if im just not getting him across..." no lmfao, looking at how Hermes speaks in that last piece YEAH NO IM NOT CRAZY
#if I sit and watch lev which. i dont usually do when hes in my body bc it interrupts the brain sync shit. ive seen him a couple times#or more than a couple like hehe let me have fun with how you write bc its (autistic lbr)#i THINK you can still tell the difference but its hard for me to see beyond the similarities. like. i think im just used to the fact that#the last spirit ie my ex that i channelled for years before he got booted was very distinct to my style at concurrent time?#his blog is still up though do NOT listen to what the fuck hes saying because its confirmed 100% with everyone i know now#that he was lying he is NOT a pc pagan spirit... but if youre curious about his writing style his blog was cosmicallynightmarish#mathi didnt really talk much on her blog so i wont link that but. yeah no tldr i think lev has a distinct style but its subtle and he#majorly just speaks through my head. which. is a fun experience in the astral actually#God its so fascinating like last night i was just hearing his voice and i was like damn. wow. love this. you never speak so low or. rarely.#and then id be like hold on its english why are you Speaking english so id stare at his mouth and it wasnt moving?#i was like bruh. NOT AS IF I HAVENT NOTICED THIS A BUNCH BEFORE but it was so wild to be HEARING his voice so vividly#and its. projected in my head using MY language?? im like. woah. eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji#ramblings //#leviathan //#BC LIKE. im in my body - i hear him vividly in the astral - i look in the astral - hes not talking in the astral but in my mind. like it#was a bit of a mindfuck to be receiving astral impulses from the mind of my body in the astral
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entanglement | T.S
previous part | next part
or check out the series masterlist
summary ; your fate is now sealed
warnings ; arranged marriage trope, slow burn? , typos (english isn't my first language) , tommy being the babygirl that he is.
a/n ; i have beef with this secretary idk why. thank you guys for the support! id love to know what you guys think of this part<333
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you look out the window as he drives, trying to ignore the awkwardness between you two. your heart is almost beating out of your chest.
he glances at you as he drives, "who were the friends ya had over?"
you turn to look at him "huh?", it seems like no matter how often you talk to him, his voice still makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up
"the friends, the company ya had over this mornin' , who were they?" he repeats, a little slower this time
"oh my friends madeline and fiona, why?"
"do they know about this?" he glances at you again
"of course they do" you look at him even when he looks away, your mind starts to wander "are you... ashamed ?" you try not to sound too offended.
his brows pinch together in confusion, and you see it from his side profile "what?"
"of this, of me." you're still staring at him "is that why you don't want people to know about this? 'cause you're ashamed?"
"why would i be ashamed ?"
"i don't know, tommy. why would you?" your attitude seeped into your words , unfortunately.
"i'm not" he adds with a small chuckle
"is it cause my dad is a farmer?"
he turns to look at you for a second, with an almost amused expression "i don't care that your dad is a farmer."
"then why are you so secretive about it?" you ask again, casually. you needed to know why
"i just didn't think ya would want anyone to know, i'm giving ya chance to reconsider this before anything official 'appens."
you raise a brow at him "so this isn't official then?"
"i meant an engagement party, a public announcement. an entanglement that everyone will know about that ya wouldn't be able to escape."
"ya still think i'm being forced into this..." your voice is soft ,its almost a whisper as you connected the dots, your eyes roaming his face.
he doesn't respond back, he just takes a breath and keeps on driving.
"my father gave me a way out of this," you speak again, "i've had multiple chances to end this... entanglement or whatever the fuck ya want to call it. but i didnt take them."
"why not?" he asks almost immediately after, his eyes on you again
"because i didnt want to."
his eyes go back to the road , the rest of the drive is silent and you don't mind it. frankly you didn't know what other uncomfortable conversations you'd have if either one of you spoke again.
you don't wait for him to open the passenger door, you do it yourself. you two walk in and you groan internally, resisting the overwhelming desire to roll your eyes at the sight of the blonde secretary. her eyes lit up when she spots him and you could see her practically deflate as she saw you walk in with him.
"good mornin' , mr shleby." her voice is sweet, overly sweet you think you might gag at the sound of it.
he doesn't acknowledge her as he walks towards his office but only stops to turn, waiting for you to catch up. you walk and you both enter the office through the glass door, he leans down to whisper in your ear , not too close but close enough to make the air around you feel non-existent as you hold your breath.
"i'm still not fucking 'er , by the way."
it wasn't just the hairs on the back of your neck that stood, your whole body was now covered in goosebumps. you hold back the shudder that almost escaped you. he wasn't even that close but the sound of his voice, so near. the proximity, he's standing so close to you. you can almost physically feel the secretary staring, as if she wanted you to drop dead on the spot.
you let out a small chuckle, you hope that it masked the reaction that his words caused "you're not?" you don't move though, you're too scared. maybe you didn't want to ruin the moment
"i'm not."
you nod as you lean back and look at him, your nod is slow "i believe you" you say softly before taking a seat on that same chair
he takes his coat off and hangs it, then walks and heads for his chair "your only condition to our marriage is for your parents to be financially supported, correct?"
you nod again "correct."
he rereads a paper that he grabbed , before handing it to you "you wanted it in writing."
you hesitate before grabbing the paper yourself, your eyes skim through the black ink. you lick your lips as you see the word 'marriage' and see both of your names and then see his signature on the bottom. and an empty spot for your signature, he hands you a pen
"ya still 'ave one more chance."
your eyes snap up at him, before you grab the pen, you put the paper back on the desk and then sign it.
"and now i don't"
you two don't take your eyes off eachother, as you both acknowledged what just happened, that your fate was now sealed
"an engagement party is in order now, aye?"
you huff a small laugh "yeah, and it'll be fucking grand."
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taglist ; @tardisloverz , @optimisticsandwichgladiator , @theshelbyslimited , @illuminwtesz , @goldensunflowe-r , @gruffle1 ,
#kadwrites#tommy shelby x reader#thomas shelby x reader#thomas shelby imagine#tommy shelby imagine#peaky blinders imagine#peaky blinders fanfiction#tommy shelby fanfiction#thomas shelby fanfiction
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PENGIE’S ROMANCE : UNTOLD REVIEW !!!!
this is me dancing to album of the year BTW.
moonstruck — IM CRAZY. OH MY HOD. GHIS IS MY DAMN SONH. im speechless its so good … PLEEK INJECT INTO MY VEINS 10/10
xo (only if you say yes) — OH MY GOD..??? hello. why did the music stop that scared me so bad. EVERYTHING IS COMING OUT OF THEIR HANDS??? chloe reveal pleek i wanna know if i want her too. THE WINGS?? peng just died BTW. JORTS !!! OMG!! ok wow super bop. WHY WAS IT SO SHORT THO !? T^T guys bring back 3 min songs i beg. 8/10 FOR NOW BECOZ NO BRIDGE N SHORT 😓
your eyes only — this is so glitter gel pen of them oh my gosh !!!! what i’m lit in love!!! WE CAN INDEED SUGAR TALK WUTTTT !!! this reminds me of twice formula of love era is this too niche?? 9/10 TEW SHORT.
hundred broken hearts — oh my god. i keep saying oh my god but OH MY GOD. THE VOCALS PLEEK SEDATE ME. i am holding my super not broken heart becuz jay said so. this is so yukika coded (dont ask why) this sounds like city pop i might be wrong tho?! 10/10 WOWOWOW
brought the heat back — IM JUMPINH AROUND N BOUNCINH OFF THE WALLS!!! OKAY FSOS !!!!!!!! wahooooooo YAS U R BRINGING THAT HEAT BACK!! JAY VOCALSSSSSS 9/10
paranormal — anna’s song!!! okay pinkpantheress ❤️ I LOVE THE BEAT HELLOOOOOOO? let me die rn! GUYS IM DANCING!!! 8.5/10 OH MY GOODNESS
royalty — this is summer happy time me at the beach (i hate the beach but id go for them) THIS IS SO HAPPY I AM SO HAPPY RN!!! this is so teenage girl montage coded!! 10 more seconds and it could have been 3 mins sobs 10/10
highway 1009 — this is me and imaginary bf song i thinks !! wow i need this at my wedding i think 🙁❤️ ME AND MY FAKE BOYFRIEND R DANCING TO THIS AS WE SPEAK 10/10 im so happy rn
xo ft jvke — THE ENGLISH LYRICS ATE WAHOOOO 10/10
highway 1009 (narr ver) — i couldnt find the track yet becoz only on cd BUT OYY PHILIPPINES!!! 😭😭❤️❤️ omg so many languages :3 this is awesome guys i hope your lang 10/10
ok guys now i need to sleep. THIS IS SO GLITTER GEL PEN GIRL GROUP CODED OKAY!!!!!!!!!!! ENHA BRINGING BACK REAL MUSIC ❤️ BRING BACK 3 MINUTE SONGS.
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Oh no! I want the next part of Namjoon with his hybrid...😭
"There you go." The elderly woman says in broken english, as she sets down two cups of tea on the table. Namjoon is still completely out of it- unsure if this is some cruel bad joke from the universe to actually show him how much better you have it.
But it doesn't seem like that's quite what it is- because the woman is not your owner. The other hybrids aren't owned either. You've simply gone back to a care center- but across the border, far away from him. It's no surprise he never found you.
"How are you?" He asks after a while, and you seem rather timid in answering- rather holding onto your hot cup of tea to warm your hands, shifting a bit in your seat. He remembers you being a lot more comfortable with the to him unfamiliar woman, the caretaker cleaning up your knees and helping you, while he has to watch from the sidelines, unable to get any closer. You seem wary of him now- and in a way, he can understand that. He didn't expect you to come running into his arms first thing.
You stay quiet and just nod as an answer to his question, staying quiet and detached it seems. "I.. hope you know I'm sorry." He says, and you nod- though with a somber smile.
"It's okay." You answer. "At least.. the company made sure I was sent to a place where I could be happy after you gave up." You tell him, making him confused. "Although I don't really speak the language well.." You admit sheepishly.
"How- I never 'gave up'. What are you talking about?" He asks, and you look at him with a bit of suspicion now.
"You couldn't handle me anymore." You explain what the managers had told you back then. "It got too much- and that's fine, I know that hybrids can be a lot, and I-" You try and tell him, but he shakes his head, leaning forward with a desperate look on his face.
This hurts a lot more than just the fact that you were taken away. You were obviously lied to, you thought he had given you away with no regards for your feelings, as if you both didn't have something special. It's true that he had never had the chance to tell you that he adores you as more than just a simple hybrid or even friend- but still. To think that you must've thought he had no interest in you any longer, which couldn't be further from the truth.
"That's completely false." He tells you, trying to calm himself down. "I asked them if they could help me figure something out while I went on tour, just like I told you-" He explains. "-and they said they would simply pay for a care spot at Jeju's Hybrid health center. And I agreed! You know, because you enjoyed it so much there when you were recovering from pneumonia, remember?" he says, becoming a bit choked up as he watches you clearly remembering what he's talking about. "But when I came back, and I asked when I could pick you up-" He takes a deep breath, recollecting himself so he doesn't potentially scare you by getting so emotional. "-they simply told me 'never'. That was the answer I got." He tells you defeated.
You watch him for a moment, before you adjust your position on the chair again. The small kitchen space is empty apart from you both, a stark contrast to the usually busy life whenever it's meal time. You wouldn't say its a bad place to live- the caretaker is doing very well to provide the best care for everyone, but it's still not a home. It's just another spot to reside at until someone decides to take you with them. His story makes more sense than him simply giving you up for no reason- especially considering that you were just.. so sure that he really cared for you.
You also don't have to ask why he never searched for you, considering that you received a new ID after crossing the border, and that Namjoon possibly didn't even know where they had taken you.
"I'm sorry that they've done this to you. I'm sorry I didn't just.. think of something different." He sighs.
"There wasn't really anything different though." You shrug.
"There was." He shakes his head. "I could've.. Jungkook, he has a hybrid. He's bringing her to work every day, you know? He fought for her. Said he'd refuse to continue his career if they wouldn't have let him keep her." He chuckles. "I should've been like that."
"It was a different time though." You admit. "You were.. not as big as you were today." You remind him. "You didn't have that much freedom yet."
"Still." He states. "I should've tried harder." He emphasizes, looking down onto the table.
"…Joon.?" You ask, and he instantly looks up at that nickname, nodding. "Can I hug you?" You ask, and he clenches his jaw.
"That.. might not be a good idea." He tells you, watching with a painful heart how your ears droop down in disappointment. "I might just create more pain like this, considering that.. the situation we're in right now." He explains.
"So, we're not going home?" You ask, and he feels his heart clench. It must be intimidating to be in a country you don't even understand the language of, let alone know your way around.
"I can ask to have you swapped into a carecenter back in korea if you'd like." he asks, but you shake your head.
"No, I mean home as in-" You seem to become restless in your seat- something he remembers you doing often. "home with you. You're home." You tell him.
"Would you.. like to go home with me? Even after all of this?" He questions, and your eyes glaze over as you nod with unshed tears. And in that moment, he knows what he needs to do. He knows what's on the line, and he's not going to let it be ruined ever again.
So he opens his arms for you, inviting you to come back as he silently promises close to your ear, his hold tight and secure with you on his lap, tail slowly wagging. "Then I'll take you home. Promise."
#bts imagine#bts x reader#namjoon imagine#namjoon x reader#ki#kim namjoon imagine#bts namjoon imagine#hybrid imagine
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Yknow it feels kinda messed up to say that United Staters dont have culture cause are we going to convieniently forget the fact that the us is influenced by several cultures? Like do you know how much black people contributed to US culture? How about the fact that many people immigrate here and all of their cultures are part of the US too? They are US citizens too and also there are americans whos families werent born in america too and theres families who have been in america for several generations and they all contribute to the culture in the US? (Also the fact that people convieniently forget that if you are white and a united stater then your ancestors were most likely settlers and participated in colonization of the US.) and lets not forget Native Americans. All these people are rightfully united staters if they choose to call themselves that.
Its not just white people here yknow? And we White people do have a culture doesn't make it necessarily good i know theres so much wrong with it. But you will literally hear things used that quite literally describe US culture. For instance individualism is a very big aspect of US culture. You can look at definitions of culture and realize quite easily that the US has a culture. It also has a wide range of different cultures. Western united staters are going to act different and hold differing values and belief systems compared to thhe pacific northwest. You can experience culture shock just by moving to different parts of the us.
This isn't denying the fact that white us culture has a lot of very messed up foundations but this is calling out the fact that 1. White people do have a culture and MOST IMPORTANTLY 2. NOT EVERYONE IN AMERICA HAS THE SAME CULTURE BEING WHITE AMERICAN CULTURE
Honestly this is probabaly because things are so white and americanized due to things like colonalism that my culture is seen as the normal standard. Because my culture is shoved in peoples faces. Which is also probably why these diverse cultures and experiences in the us are overshadowed by white americans. When i go to school I see so many different people. Look at a hollywood film or any "american" thing and that gets reduced to all english speaking majority white people.
So yeah correct me if you think im wrong because I am by no means perfect and would like to know if I mess up and we can talk about it but id rather say something on this than leave it because I see it a lot.
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Signed programme from the London concert of Death Note the Musical ^.^ It reads right-to-left so this is the front cover!
[ID: a black programme which reads Death Note the Musical In Concert above the show's logo of an apple resting on an open Death Note. Ryuk's silhouette can be seen in a reflection on the apple and while the writing in the notebook isn't fully legible, one can tell it's the rules of using the Death Note. At the very bottom in small text it says copyright Tsugumi Ohba, Takeshi Obata Shueisha, Horipro. There are five autographs in golden sharpie. End ID]
They started selling autographed programmes on Saturday at the Lyric for not much more than the non-signed ones. I can't read the handwriting very well but I'm pretty sure they're signed by Light/Joaquin Pedro Valdes, Rem/Aimee Atkinson, Ryuk/George Maguire, and Misa/Jessica Lee. This particular programme is also signed by Sayu/Rachel Clare Chan, as I met her at stage door and she happened to have a pen. :) I really wish I'd thought to bring one so I could have gotten L/Dean John Wilson's autograph as well (I'm not sure why he didn't sign the programmes - maybe because Carl Mann also performed the role?) but you can't win them all I guess.
More described images of the programme and commentary below the cut. I am only including the "articles" so to speak and excluding the actor bios/ad pages because I don't have it in me to type up every bit of information in here. If you would like to see the extra pages and are willing to write image descriptions, DM me.
[ID: a text box that says "Welcome to Death Note: the Musical at the London Palladium! Tonight, we invite you to immerse yourself in the gripping world of Death Note, a story that has captivated hearts globally. With mesmerizing music, stunning performances and thought-provoking themes, our talented cast and creative team will lead you through a thrilling journey of morality, power and justice.
"As we make history at the iconic London Palladium with what will be the first ever English language performance of Death Note, we thank you for joining us on this unforgettable adventure.
"Prepare to be spellbound as the curtain rises, the music swells and Death Note unfolds before your eyes. . .
"Enjoy the show!
"Carter Dixon McGill Productions"
After the text box is a rehearsal picture. Light sings wearing a backpack and two femme actors who are also singing stand in profile next to him, holding books and wearing backpacks as well. Someone stands behind JPV almost completely blocked by him. End ID]
Two things to note here: the use of the manga font and the welcome message that specifies the Palladium. The rest of the programme mentions both the Lyric and the Palladium, so I'm not sure if the absence of the Lyric here is a mistake or if they wanted to preserve the original intent of the message, which is that the first performances at the Palladium were a really big deal.
[ID: A rehearsal pic of Light holding up the Death Note while L, Ryuk, and other cast members look on. A text box says " A message from Horipro, the original producers of Death Note: The Musical.
"The project to adapt the internationally acclaimed manga Death Note, published by Shueisha and created by Tsugumi Ohba (original story) and Takeshi Obata (illustrations), into a musical, began in 2011. Composed by Frank Wildhorn, who has collaborated with our company on numerous productions since Jekyll & Hyde in Tokyo in 2001, and directed by the renowned Japanese director Tamiya Kuriyama, Death Note: The Musical had its world premiere in Tokyo in 2015. Since then, it has garnered passionate, enthusiastic fans and has been performed multiple times in Japan and South Korea.
"Currently, HoriPro is presenting Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and School of Rock in Tokyo. Over the years we have had the pleasure of bringing numerous wonderful works born in London, such as Mary Poppins, Matilda and Billy Elliot, to Japan. It brings us immeasurable joy to now introduce a production originating from Japan to audiences in London.
"To everyone witnessing the start of Death Note: The musical as it ventures into the world, we express our heartfelt gratitude.
"We hope you enjoy the show!
"Yoshitaka Hori, HoriPro Group Chairman, President & CEO" End ID]
[ID: the panel from the manga of Light's heart attack. Text box that says, "Death Note Between Entertainment and Culture by Filippo Cervelli
"When Death Note originally appeared as a manga in 2003, it took its audience by surprise. The story of the genius high-school student Light Yagami chancing upon the magic titular Death Note, giving him the power to kill everyone on the planet just by writing their name on its pages, was a compelling tale interweaving magic with the urban Tokyo everyday environment. Dissatisfied with the judicial system, Light takes the matters of justice into his own hands, placing himself above the law and embarking on a journey to purge the world of evildoers. From this enticing premise Death Note then evolves into a psychological thriller, epitomised by Light's cat-and-mouse battle with his main antagonist, the brilliant and mysterious detective L. The numerous panels alternating the two characters playing mind games against each other, brilliantly written by Tsugumi Ohba and vividly drawn by artist Takeshi Obata, have left a long-lasting impression on the manga's readers. And yet, together with the compelling drama and carefully crafted dialogues, Death Note also struck a powerful chord in its audience, because no reader could remain insensitive to the simple yet fundamental question it asked: "What would you do if you had the power to change the world?" end ID]
[ID: the manga panel where Soichiro has just fired an empty gun at Light in the car and Misa and Light both look terrified but relieved. There are two pull-out quotes that say "Death Note has sold more than 30 million copies worldwide, making it one of the bestselling manga of all time" and "Death Note has successfully shown that manga aimed at 'kids' can treat very serious matters, too." The rest of the article reads: "Not only was Death Note a successful story, the context of its publication was conducive to its great impact. Japan's comics industry is heavily focused on serialisations in dedicated magazines, of which there exist a plethora, divided by frequency of publication (weekly, biweekly, monthly, etc.) and genre. Death Note was in fact published in weekly instalments in Shonen Jump, Japan's most popular and iconic manga magazine which, in its 55 years of history, has published global hits such as Jojo's Bizarre Adventures (1987-2004), Dragonball (1984-1995) and the more recent Demon Slayer (2016-2020) and One Piece (1997-). While the popularity of Shonen Jump contributed to the visibility of Death Note, it also placed the story in an unusual context. As the above examples show, Shonen Jump is famous for action, comedy and sports manga catered to an audience of mainly adolescent boys. Although the categorisation does not of course preclude readers outside of this demographic, Japanese magazines do take their target audiences into serious consideration when choosing their contents. It was therefore striking that a manga not based on humour, romance or battles, which focused instead on murder and psychological thrills, could find a space among the pages of Jump. However, this supposed misplacement worked in the manga's favour, inducing in readers a sense of wonder and curiosity towards a new publication that seemed so different from its neighbours. In the end, with a serialised run of three years (2003-2006), later collected in twelve volumes (plus one with extra contents), Death Note has sold more than 30 million copies worldwide, making it one of the bestselling manga of all time. It has successfully shown that manga aimed at 'kids' can treat very serious matters, too.
"Beyond the numbers, Death Note has left an indelible mark on contemporary Japanese culture. Its great success solidified the reputation of Oba and Obata as one of manga's most appreciated duos, who later produced other hits such as Bakuman (2008-2012), which takes an insider's look into the world of manga publiishing in Japan, and Platinum End (2015-2021), a fantasy manga following the stories a group of contenders who are granted angelic powers in a race to become the next God. Death Note proposes a protagonist who chooses to fight for his values in a society that does not seem to give any solid models of prosperity and fails to ensure individual happiness. While Light's motives might be despicable, his actions ask fundamental questions about right and wrong and about what justice really means, which may not find immediate answers. This is possibly Death Note's deepest strength.
"All these factors have assured Death Note's success. While the original manga is read avidly around the world even today, 20 years after its original serialisation began, the story has also been expanded and adapted into various media. Together with the animated series following the original story, a live-action film version was released shortly after the manga's conclusion in 2006. Split into two parts, the films starred internationally renowned Tatsuya (Battle Royale) and Ken'ichi Matsuyama (Norwegian Wood, Gantz) as Light and L, respectively. The films, featuring a different ending from the manga version, enjoyed such popularity that they spawned a spin-off film in 2008, L Change the WorLd, focusing on the titular awkward and brilliant detective. In 2016, another spin-off film was released. Titled Death Note: Light Up the New World and set ten years after the confrontation between Light and L, it imagines a new case in which six new death notes have appeared. Filmic adaptations have also crossed Japanese borders, with a US-produced film released by Netflix in 2017. The film transposes the story to an American high school setting, changing characters' names accordingly. The TV format has also proved particularly fruitful for Death Note, with the story adapted into a series of 11 episodes in 2015, featuring in the role of L Kento Yamazaki, known to Western audiences as the lead in the Netflix show Alice in Borderland.
"With countless adaptations to other media, including novels, videogames and trading card games, Death Note's cultural impact is still strong. Together with reading the original manga and watching the various cinematic versions, London audiences now have the possibility to enjoy the musical adaptation of the manga series, adding another precious layer to the multimedia experience of this staple of contemporary Japanese creativity.
"Filippo Cervelli is a Lecturer in Modern and Contemporary Japanese Literature at SOAS University of London." End ID]
This is all I can manage tonight. . . I'll be back with more later.
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Its getting like increasingly harder for me to form proper sentences and actually capture what i mean and feel
I feel like everything i say or write always misses the point of what i essentially wanted to convey
I know its partially because i barely read proper books anymore and that at least my vocabulary would greatly benefit from being able to read again
But its also just brain fog and ability loss due to burnout and continuous stress and survival mode in life and im just so tired because its again taking me further and further from how i was and how I liked myself
I was never great with words or a great writer, thats why i did comics, not fics or novels, but watching it getting worse is just so sad and looking into peoples faces while you try to explain something and watching them get frustrated or laugh and resign from the conversation because you're unable to hold a conversation that makes sense is soul crushing and frankly traumatizing, making me want to shut up for ever
Whenever i read a post or watch a video of someone using language so well and having a big and very expressive vocabulary that enables them to properly frame what they mean i get so jealous and sad and i feel so stupid
When I talk my sentences are all over the place and i constantly forget words or rely on the other person to know what I mean or to finish my thought.. and i don't even want to get into what a mess english makes of my german because i spend most of my day online in english spaces. Talking about politics and the genocide in Gaza is absolutely impossible to me in german which makes me so mad because if i would be i may be getting through to my family about the whole issue
Maybe i would be able to advocate for myself more. In front of family, doctors, social workers. I wish i didn't forget what i was talking about mid sentence or all the important parts that need to be said to properly portray my situation. Maybe id still have friends if i was able to say what i wanted to say without my whole system going into fight or flight and then shutting down
Maybe I'd be able to speak better if i had someone to talk to irl who isn't my cat but this is just another thing that makes me so insecure that i shut myself off even more
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Jake English, Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider
Meat, page 30
JAKE: Ah chaps dont you love to take a rigorous jaunt about the wilds first thing in the morning, middle thing in the day, and last thing in the evening?
KARKAT: NO
JAKE: By jove karkat that you are so winded by such little activity is truly alarming!
KARKAT: WE’VE BEEN HIKING FOR A FUCKING HOUR, DIPSHIT.
KARKAT: I CAN ALREADY FEEL MY LEGS STARTING TO LOCK UP. I THINK THEY’RE GETTING A HEAD START ON THE RIGOR MORTIS!
KARKAT: BECAUSE YOU’RE FUCKING KILLING ME, IS WHAT I’M SAYING. BY MAKING ME HIKE THROUGH NATURE IN A FUCKING SUIT.
KARKAT: GREAT WORK EVERYONE. YOU’LL BE OFFERING UP A PRE-ASSASSINATED PRESIDENT TO A FRENZIED ELECTORATE. AWESOME STRATEGY!
JAKE: Perhaps you need a better calisthenics routine. I can suggest several alterations to your morning workout and even give you a lesson or two myself!
KARKAT: MY MORNING WORKOUT??
KARKAT: I COULDN’T THINK OF A MORE OFFENSIVELY PRESUMPTUOUS PHRASE IF I TRIED.
KARKAT: ALSO, WHAT THE FUCK IS A CALISTHENIC?
KARKAT: IS THAT THE NAME OF YOUR FAN CHERUB??
DAVE: hey jake were cool on the whole cardio program or whatever
DAVE: karkats not really what id call a kinesthetic learner
KARKAT: HEY!
KARKAT: I CAN HOLD MY OWN IN A THRESHING MATCH BETTER THAN 99% OF THE SQUISHY, PLACID HUMAN POPULATION ON THIS PLANET.
KARKAT: I WAS LITERALLY TRAINING TO BE A COMBAT SPECIALIST ON ALTERNIA.
KARKAT: MAYBE WE SHOULD SOMETIMES TRY TO REMEMBER AND *FUCKING RESPECT* THAT FACT ABOUT ME???
DAVE: hm
DAVE: gonna make another mental note about which material to avoid when writing your campaign speeches
DAVE: like
DAVE: dude is nuts with a sickle
DAVE: can carve a bloody arc through a surrounding circle of gathered squishy humans
DAVE: watch their guts spill on the floor while he roars at the sky in honor of his genocidal ancestors
DAVE: were kinda trying to downplay the idea that trolls are naturally good at violence and shit here?
DAVE: hey speaking of which
DAVE: jake you wanna back karkat in this election or what
JAKE: Uhhh...
JAKE: Ah i see. That was your purpose in coming out here.
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: that IS basically the only reason either of us would waste time climbing a mountain instead of like
DAVE: almost perfectly replicating the experience by checking out sweet stock photos of a mountain on the crockernet image search while spraying our hive with air freshener or something
DAVE: oh hey wait that reminds me
DAVE: isnt it fucked up how jane literally owns the internet??
JAKE: Id never really thought about it i admit.
DAVE: its pretty fucked up trust me
DAVE: like she already owns the major method of information dissemination and now she wants to be the one ultimately in control of what information gets disseminated
DAVE: do you really think one person should have all that power
JAKE: Hmmmmmmmmm.
KARKAT: THE ANSWER IS NO, IDIOT.
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: which is why you should back us and our campaign
DAVE: our campaign slogan for the purpose of this conversation only is “hey isnt it cool how were not jane and also we dont want to own everything”
DAVE: and also... man
DAVE: on a more personal note
DAVE: i mean have you even SEEN the shit janes been saying about you in the media
JAKE: Ive seen the shit YOUVE been saying about HER!
JAKE: Your poorly optimized billboards about “huge dunks” on the economy and “neoliberal austerity measures” tumbling down geometrically improbable staircases have made quite a stir in the neighborhood.
JAKE: These advertisements play at all hours of the night my good man. One can hardly get a wink of sleep!
DAVE: yeah but at least we paid for it out of campaign dollars instead of spinelessly setting up super pacs to spew out propaganda for us
JAKE: Super pacs??
DAVE: oh yeah
DAVE: listen to this bullshit
DAVE: so theyre technically expenditure independent committees meaning they can allocate unlimited funding for...
KARKAT: LOOK, DAVE. JAKE REALLY DOESN’T CARE WHAT A SUPER PAC IS.
KARKAT: I DON’T THINK ANYONE CARES ABOUT FUCKING SUPER PACS??
KARKAT: I KNOW YOU PUT A LOT OF WORK INTO YOUR SPIEL ABOUT IT, ESPECIALLY THE RAPPED SEQUENCE.
KARKAT: BUT YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO GET ANYBODY TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THIS STUFF MAN, I’M SORRY.
DAVE: mmff noomph
KARKAT: JAKE, THE POINT IS THIS.
KARKAT: JANE IS HAVING YOU SMEARED INDIRECTLY.
JAKE: Well that would be the way to do it i suppose if you wished to keep clean hands in an inherently dirty business.
DAVE: ok but thats partially my point
DAVE: were doing all our propaganda in house instead of outsourcing to unscrupulous shadow networks with deep money pockets
KARKAT: FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE.
DAVE: what does that mean
KARKAT: AS MUCH AS I APPRECIATE YOUR “ARTISTIC VISION” DAVE, I THINK THAT YOUR POLITICAL ADS ARE LARGELY GOING OVER PEOPLE’S HEADS.
KARKAT: THEY’RE KIND OF...
DAVE: bold?
KARKAT: NO
DAVE: oh you mean avant garde
DAVE: well yeah
DAVE: everyone knows that
KARKAT: NOT REALLY HOW I WOULD PUT IT EITHER.
DAVE: nuanced
DAVE: oh wait
DAVE: visionary
DAVE: you think theyre visionary as fuck
DAVE: ok yeah you got me
DAVE: im a forward thinker karkat
DAVE: this is just what life is like in the dave lane
DAVE: buckle the fuck up
KARKAT: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
KARKAT: I’M GOING TO SAY THIS FOR THE LAST TIME.
KARKAT: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS SUBJECT MATTER FOR PRODUCING CAMPAIGN ADS!
KARKAT: NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, OR WHAT POINTS YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE!
DAVE: yeah its awesome
KARKAT: YOU’RE WASTING CAMPAIGN MONEY!!!
DAVE: were fucking trillionaires dude
JAKE: Willickers dave has anyone ever told you that you have an uncanny talent for cutting straight and incisively to the point without sweating any of the bullshit.
JAKE: Youre rather like dirk in that way actually.
DAVE: i... what
KARKAT: HAHAHA. *DAVE* IS GOOD AT CUTTING THROUGH *BULLSHIT*??
KARKAT: STRIDER IS A FOG MACHINE OF *PURE* BULLSHIT.
KARKAT: THERE IS NOTHING THAT COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH THAT IS *NOT BULLSHIT*.
DAVE: thats basically true
KARKAT: AND I’M PRETTY SURE DIRK MIGHT BE EVEN WORSE?!
DAVE: yeah pretty much
KARKAT: SORRY JAKE. I KNOW WE’RE SOLICITING YOU FOR THE SWAY YOUR HOT POPULAR ASS HAS OVER THE PEOPLE, AND NOT EXACTLY YOUR BRAINPOWER, SO MAYBE THIS IS SOMEWHAT UNFAIR, BUT...
KARKAT: THAT MAY HAVE BEEN THE WORST TAKE I’VE EVER FUCKING HEARD IN MY LIFE?
DAVE: whoa chill out man
DAVE: remember were trying to woo this guy onto our side
DAVE: can you maybe go at least a solid minute without forgetting youre a fuckin politician now?
DAVE: that means you should try not to insult everybody you meet multiple times per sentence
KARKAT: FUCK!!
KARKAT: YEAH, I KNOW.
KARKAT: I’M FUCKING SORRY JAKE. FOR IMPLYING THAT YOU HAVE SLIGHTLY LESS CEREBRAL PROCESSING POWER THAN THE SWEATY WEDGIE THIS FUCKING SUIT IS GIVING MY THROBBING, HIKE-SORE ASS.
DAVE: hmm
DAVE: nope that still sucks
DAVE: you suck dude
KARKAT: YEAH, WELL CHEW ON THIS, “MASTER STRATEGIST.” MAYBE YOU TELLING ME I SUCK IS ACTUALLY THE SMARTEST THING YOU’VE EVER FUCKING SAID!
JAKE: Gentlemen!!!
JAKE: Jeepers fucking christmas.
JAKE: I was just trying to pay mr strider a gracious compliment not every little pleasantry need be taken with such blasted literalism!
JAKE: And i appreciate that youre trying to sway my political favor into your bungalow with a bit of the old elbow grease and cajolery even if your methods are wont to veer into full throated invective in virtually every single exchange no matter how harmless the topic.
JAKE: And i truly mean it when i say i DO appreciate the effort. Both at the brownnosing as well as the dubious restraint when it comes to impugning my noodle.
JAKE: But all this is adding up to make me wonder...
JAKE: Why should i side with either of you?
JAKE: Flattery is all well and good but i hardly think i would bother casting my knickers in with anyones lot based on the quality of praise or for that matter withholding them due to having my ego bruised from a verbal drubbing.
JAKE: Im not entirely ignorant of the rules of this jamboree. I understand that whoever i endorse will have a good chance of winning on nothing but my good word.
JAKE: So why should i trust ANYONE trying to win my favor right now? Do you have ANY case to make which does not involve glowing accounts of my muscular bottom???
DAVE: ok yeah we can do that
DAVE: you mean like
DAVE: an actual pitch?
DAVE: on policy or shit
DAVE: or vision for the world
DAVE: we can set you up bro
DAVE: or i mean this guy can
DAVE: thats what he was made for
DAVE: born fuckin leader right here
KARKAT: WHAT?
DAVE: take it away man
DAVE: our boy jake here wants to be goddamn dazzled
KARKAT: LOOK, JAKE.
KARKAT: I’M NOT GOING TO TRY TO SELL YOU SOME LUDICROUS STORY ABOUT HOW I’M THE BEST CANDIDATE EARTH C HAS EVER SEEN OR ANYTHING.
KARKAT: I’M NOT GOING TO BE THAT ARROGANT, ESPECIALLY SINCE MY ARM HAD TO BE TWISTED RIGHT OUT OF ITS SOCKET TO GET ME TO EVEN RUN.
KARKAT: BUT AT LEAST WE’RE NOT HIDING OUR INTENTIONS.
KARKAT: AT THIS POINT, IT’S NOT A POLICY BEEF THAT I HAVE WITH JANE CROCKER.
DAVE: yeah im the one with the policy beef
DAVE: corporate welfare destroys public infrastructure
KARKAT: SHUT UP, I’M TALKING.
DAVE: word
KARKAT: WE’RE STILL LIVING ON AN INCREDIBLY YOUNG PLANET. LET’S BE REAL. EVERY PRESIDENT UP UNTIL NOW HAS JUST BEEN SOME BOZO BASICALLY PLAYACTING AT BEING IN CHARGE.
KARKAT: BECAUSE THIS WHOLE TIME EVERYONE’S BEEN HOLDING THEIR BREATH WAITING FOR ONE OF *US* TO RUN.
KARKAT: WHOEVER WINS, ME OR JANE, WILL SET THE TONE FOR SUBSEQUENT ADMINISTRATIONS FOR WHO KNOWS HOW FUCKING LONG.
KARKAT: IT’S ENTIRELY POSSIBLE THAT JANE WILL PROVE TO BE A COMPETENT PRESIDENT. I HAVE NO DOUBTS ON HER ADMINISTRATIVE ACUMEN, CONSIDERING THAT’S PROBABLY THE ONLY FUCKING THING SHE HAS GOING FOR HER, BESIDES A SERIES OF PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES WHICH I KEEP BEING TOLD AREN’T TOO HARD ON THE EYES, BUT FRANKLY, I STILL DON’T KNOW IF I’M SEEING IT?
KARKAT: I MEAN, SHE’S LIKE... *ALRIGHT*? I FUCKING *GUESS*??
JAKE: Now lets not be too unfair old chap...
KARKAT: I THINK I’M ALLOWED TO BE *UNFAIR* WHEN SHE’S HOLDING THE REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS OF MY ENTIRE SPECIES HOSTAGE.
JAKE: Ah. Point well met.
KARKAT: JAKE, SHE WILL SET A HORRIBLE PRECEDENT.
KARKAT: SHE’S INDIRECT. SHE’S PRIVILEGED. SHE’S CONCERNED WITH HOW THINGS *LOOK* RATHER THAN HOW THINGS *ARE*.
KARKAT: NO MATTER HOW NICE SHE WAS WHEN YOU WERE KIDS, HER DEDICATION TO THE APPEARANCE OF THAT “NICENESS” HAS ALREADY LED HER DOWN A PATH OF CORRUPTION AND DUPLICITY.
KARKAT: BECAUSE WHEN YOU LIVE INSIDE A SKIN THAT’S A LIE, YOU’LL EITHER GROW TO FIT IT, OR COLLAPSE UNDER THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF YOUR OWN SHIT-SPEWING COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.
KARKAT: TRUST ME, I FUCKING KNOW, BECAUSE I USED TO SPEW AN UNTOLD AMOUNT OF SHIT.
DAVE: (yeah... “used to”)
KARKAT: DUDE!
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!
KARKAT: GET OFF MY BULGE.
KARKAT: YOU WANTED ME TO SPIN SOME FUCKING GOLD? TO BUST OUT THE *GOOD SHIT*??
KARKAT: THERE! I SAID IT! THAT WAS THE ***GOOD SHIT***!
KARKAT: I’M DONE! I DID MY THING! THIS MINCING HALFWIT IN THE TINY SHORTS CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS NOW!
DAVE: (no no that was good man)
DAVE: (i was just messin with you)
DAVE: (great job dude i love it)
JAKE: Well dash my wig!
JAKE: Ill do it!
KARKAT: DASH YOUR WHAT?
DAVE: fuck yeah
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One Thousand Followers Celebration
okay I’m honestly kind of shook that we’re even here but thank you to everyone who’s a part of our little corner of the fandom. I love you all so so much and I’m so happy to be here ❤️ most people requested something cute and fluffy so here’s Cassian being drunk and and Nesta comes to get him. I hope you all enjoy!! 💘💘💘
feel free to read it on AO3 here too!
word count: 2975
—————
Nesta was halfway through her latest read when her phone started buzzing incessantly. It was just getting to the good part, where the main couple started to realize maybe there was something more between them than burning hatred, and she didn’t want to put it down. Frankly, it reminded her of her own love story, but she’d never admit that to anyone out loud.
She was forced to look away when her phone was vibrating so constantly with texts she thought someone was calling her. Sighing, she reached for her phone, unlocking it only to see her husband had sent her almost twenty messages.
Cassian, 11:52 PM
Nesta
Nes
I love yiu sooooo muche
Youe so pretty
I weish u were here
everyons laufghint at me but i miss u
wyd
nesssssssssss
are u ignoringme for a book agwain
:(
Swethearft<3
did i tell u i luv u td
wait its ok I ddid
i want a kiss when i see u ok
The remaining messages were a jumble of Spanish and English words mixed together, and while she had a working knowledge of Spanish, she didn’t know it well enough to even attempt to decipher what he was trying to tell her. Still, she couldn’t help but smile as she read through them all, affection blooming in her chest for her favorite person in the world.
Cassian, Rhys, and Azriel had gone out to their favorite bar for guys night, and Cassian was clearly drunk off his ass. It was really hard to keep a straight face with him normally, but when he was drunk, she thought it was one of the most adorable things she’d ever seen.
Nesta, 12:01 AM
I love you too, you big goofball
I’ll give you a kiss and a hug when I see you how’s that
Her phone was ringing within seconds, a picture of Cassian filling her screen before she answered.
“Hello?” she said, marking her page with a bookmark before closing it.
“Nesta!” Cassian exclaimed. She had to pull her phone from her ear for a moment, but she smiled again anyways.
“Hi, Cassian,” she replied, trying not to laugh. He was just so cute. “Are you having a good time?”
“Leave me alone, I’m talking to my wife,” he said, his voice sounding slightly further away. He must have been talking to Rhys or Azriel, but the way referred to her made her want to melt. They’d been together for years and married for just over one, but it still sent a thrill through her to hear him claim her out loud.
“Nes?” he said, his voice back to normal volume.
“I’m here,” she said, getting off the bed to begin looking for her shoes. He normally called her and started getting ridiculously affectionate when it was getting close for him to come home, so it was only a matter of time before he asked her to come get him.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Looking for my shoes,” she replied, spotting her boots on the floor. Leaning her phone against her ear, she bent down and put them on over her leggings before walking back to her dresser.
“Are you coming to find me?” he asked. She couldn’t help but smile at how excited he sounded by the prospect.
“Yes, baby.” Nesta hit speaker and put the phone down on their dresser as she took off the oversized shirt that she’d borrowed from him, slid a sports bra on, and put on a plain tee shirt over it.
“Oh thank God,” he said, and then dropped his voice to a loud whisper. “You’re much more fun than the dumbasses I’m with.”
She’d opened her mouth to reply, but then Cassian began talking to someone else nearby. “Tarquin! Fancy seeing you here! Are you still mad about your windows? Nes, I gotta go. Love you.”
It was a cool September evening, so Nesta grabbed a denim jacket before throwing her hair up into a bun and leaving their apartment. Once she got to her car, it was a short fifteen minutes to get to The Sidra. Thankfully there was ample street parking around the corner, and the bouncer let her in with a quick flash of her ID.
Nesta walked inside, spotting her husband and his friends immediately. They took up a ridiculous amount of space in one of the booths, and she couldn’t resist smiling as Cassian visibly brightened by her appearance.
“Nesta!” he shouted, grinning widely as she got closer. So much for subtlety, she supposed. She offered repeated apologies as she walked over to where he was sitting, but thankfully most of the people there seemed to think his behavior was too cute to be a serious nuisance.
Once she was next to the side of the booth he was sitting on, he pulled her in for a hug, wrapping his muscular arms around her waist and laying his head on her chest.
“Cassian,” she said at a normal volume, endlessly amused as he snuggled into her. She leaned down to press a kiss to the top of his head before turning to greet Rhys and Azriel, both of whom looked seconds away from breaking out laughing.
“Don’t you dare,” she told them, tightening her arms around Cassian as she gave his friends a look. They both hold their hands up in surrender, Azriel raising his beer at her before turning back to Rhys.
“I missed you,” Cassian said against her chest, his voice muffled. “So much.”
“Every minute without you was excruciating,” Nesta said, playing along. He looked up at her with a pout.
“Stop teasing me,” he told her. He was frowning slightly now. “I did miss you a lot, you know.”
“I’m sorry. You’re just so cute like this, it’s hard not to tease you a little bit.”
“Not as cute as you.” Cassian smiled up at her, pleased with himself. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes good-naturedly and let him tug her into his lap.
“Sorry to crash your guys’ night,” she said to Rhys and Azriel now that she was facing them.
“He’s not as much fun when he gets like this anyway,” Azriel replied, chuckling. “In his old age, he’s turned into a sappy drunk.”
“Hey! We’re the same age!” Cassian protested from behind her, tightening his grip around her waist. Azriel and Cassian had both turned thirty earlier this year, while Rhys’ birthday wasn’t until November. Nesta had turned twenty-eight back in April.
“Good thing I like sappy drunks,” she said, twisting around to face him. He gave his friends a smug look as she pressed a kiss to his warm cheek, his stubble scratching her face in a way she loved.
“You two are the worst,” Rhys groaned.
“Like you and my sister are any better,” Nesta shot back as she turned around. Feyre and Rhys had been together since their college days and had tied the knot once they’d both graduated.
“Speaking of her, I’d love to get back home to her,” he replied. He pulled out his phone and began texting, and Nesta guessed he was asking if she was still awake.
“I guess that’s it then, huh?” Azriel asked, raising an eyebrow at Nesta.
“I’m sure Gwyn is dying to see you too,” she teased, smiling softly at him. She and Emerie had colluded with Cassian and Rhys to set the pair up on a blind date last year, and everyone had been thrilled when they’d agreed to keep seeing each other.
“She has a performance tomorrow, so she’s probably already asleep,” Azriel answered, raising a hand to catch the closest server’s attention.
“I told you my wife was hot as fuck,” Cassian said suddenly, shifting to point wildly at Nesta as their server – a young woman named Nuala – came by to bring them the check.
“I’m thrilled,” she replied dryly, raising an eyebrow as she looked at Nesta. “He hasn’t shut up about you for the last half an hour, you know. Thank God he wasn’t making you up.”
“Thanks,” Nesta said, her lips twitching from trying to hold in her laughter. Rhys put down his card to pay for all of them, waving off Cassian and Azriel’s attempts to give him money for their share of the check. Within a few minutes, the four of them were getting out of their booth and beginning the walk to the exit.
Cassian immediately went for Nesta’s hand, intertwining their fingers before bringing their hands to his mouth so he could kiss the back of hers.
“That is so unhygienic,” she said, exasperated. “I haven’t washed my hands since I left our place.”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” he said, grinning at her. He kissed the back of her hand one more time before lowering their hands to swing them between the two of them as they kept walking.
“Who’s that guy glaring at you?” Nesta asked, noticing a tall Black guy staring Cassian down from a booth near the door. He had silver curls that stood out brightly against his dark skin, but he couldn’t have been much older than any of them. It had to have been natural, since his eyebrows and lashes were the same color.
“Oh, that’s Tarquin,” he replied, waving at Tarquin with a sheepish grin from where they stood. Tarquin flipped him off before turning back to his companions, who both shared the same dark skin and silvery hair.
“Why is he glaring at you? Do I need to talk to him?” Nesta asked, frowning. She was the only one allowed to glare at her husband like that.
“No sweetheart, it’s fine,” Cassian replied, laughing as they walked by the table. “It’s our inside joke. He threw a party senior year of college and I might have gotten drunk and broken a few windows in his house.”
“You what? Cassian, that’s not an inside joke.”
“It’s fine, Nes. I paid him back for it, but his parents were pissed. I’m banned from his neighborhood, actually.”
“That is not fine.”
“I might be drunk, but I know when I’m right,” Cassian said, just before walking right into the door. Azriel had accidentally let it swing behind him and Cassian hadn’t grabbed it in time, and it got him right in the face.
Nesta burst out laughing before she clapped her free hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. Are you okay?”
“The love of my life just laughed at my pain,” he whined, yanking open the door. Azriel and Rhys were absolutely losing it on the other side, making it hard for Nesta to keep her composure in solidarity with Cassian.
“Let me see it,” she said once they were outside. Cassian had pressed his hand to the side of his face, but Nesta got him to move it with her free one. His cheek was red from the impact, but she was sure it’d be fine with some ice once they got back to their place.
“It’s not so bad,” she reassured him. It was hard to keep a straight face with his friends – mostly Rhys – still howling in the background, but she got on her toes to give him a kiss on his face.
“It still hurts,” he said, pouting at her. “Can I get another kiss?”
“You big baby,” she said, but she leaned in and kissed his cheek again. “That’s all you’re getting. When we get home, I’m putting ice on that.”
“I love it when you boss me around,” he said dreamily, letting her tug him past his friends. “It does things to me.”
“Please take him home,” Rhys called from behind them. Nesta flipped him off before Cassian could, earning another wide grin from him as they walked towards her car.
“Thanks for the best thing I’ve ever seen!” Azriel added, both of their laughter fading the farther Nesta and Cassian walked.
“They’re so mean,” Cassian grumbled as she dug into her pocket for the keys.
“You want me to yell at them? Hurt their feelings a little?” she offered, unlocking the doors.
“No,” he said, pouting again. He got into the passenger seat as Nesta walked around to the driver’s side, and he immediately reached for her hand once she sat down.
“I’d do it if you wanted me to,” she told him, shooting him an amused look before starting the car.
“Maybe a real kiss would make me feel better,” he suggested, leaning towards her and puckering his lips.
Nesta leaned in and brushed her lips against his, but he wasn’t having it. He cupped the back of her head as he deepened their kiss, warming her up inside from the cool September air.
“Come on, let’s go home,” Nesta said, pulling away even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. He huffed and pouted but thankfully put his seatbelt on.
It was a quick ride back to their building, and thankfully Cassian managed not to walk into any more doors on their way upstairs. He wrapped his arm around her as they got off the elevator, which Nesta thought was as much for balance as it was to hold her close.
“Thank you for coming to get me,” he said once they were back in their apartment. He immediately walked into the bedroom and flopped on their bed, somehow managing not to knock anything over or hit Nesta’s book.
“You’re welcome,” Nesta said back, taking the time to take off her jacket and shoes before walking to the freezer to grab a bag of frozen peas. She wrapped it in a paper towel before coming to lay next to him, taking down her bun so that her hair was down around her.
“Can I tell you a secret?” he whispered, turning to look at her. His eyes lit up when he noticed her hair was down, and he reached over to play with it. She handed him the peas instead, making sure he pressed them to the side of his face.
“I thought I knew all your secrets,” she whispered back, smiling softly as she indulged him. She loved that she was the one who got to see him like this, that she was the first person he saw in the mornings and the last person he saw when he closed his eyes at night.
“You do,” he confirmed, pulling the peas away to smile at her. She gave him a disapproving look and he quickly put them back before continuing. “I love nights like these.”
“Why’s that?” she asked. She reached out to brush some of his loose waves away from his face so they didn’t get in the way of the peas.
“I never thought I would be as happy as I am right now,” Cassian said seriously. His other eye was blocked from the position of the peas, so Nesta just held the gaze of the one she could see as he moved his hand to cup her face.
Sometimes he would say things like this that made her feel like her heart was going to burst from how sweet he was. “Really?”
“Yeah.” He shifted closer to her, and Nesta inhaled deeply at the lingering scent of his cologne. “I remember when you wouldn’t even say my name out loud. Now you’re here with me and my peas.”
She laughed before answering. “It was the peas that really sold me, you know. I should have written them into my vows.”
“And you’re telling jokes? Tonight must be my lucky night.”
“Shut up before I take the peas from you, Cassian.”
“You love me too much to do that, Nes.”
“Stop using my love for you against me. It’s unfair and you know it.”
“Never,” he said, running his thumb across her cheek. “I love you too much not to use every advantage I can get.”
“I taught you too well,” she said, smiling softly at him. “Come on, let’s get ready for bed.”
She turned to kiss his palm, as unhygienic as it was, and then got up and started changing into pajamas. He groaned as he rolled off the bed, stretching as he stood up to reveal a strip of golden-brown skin at his abdomen before walking towards their bathroom.
Nesta joined him to brush her teeth in another one of his oversized shirts and no pants. He finished first, squeezing her hip as he walked by her and went back into their bedroom. She quickly brushed through her hair and pulled it into a loose braid for sleep before turning off the light.
Cassian was waiting for her under the covers, laughing as he examined the back of her book. “Is there smut in this one?”
She rolled her eyes before grabbing it from him. “You’re insufferable.”
“That’s a yes, then,” he said, grinning. She turned the lights off and put the book on her nightstand before she slid under the covers, snuggling up next to him anyway.
“I’ll let you know when I get to the juicy parts,” she grumbled eventually. He laughed under his breath, pulling her tighter against him as he maneuvered them so her back was to his chest as usual. His heart was beating its usual steady rhythm against her, a familiar baseline that let her know she was safe and everything was right in the world as long as she could curl up next to him every night.
“I love you,” she whispered, not sure if he was asleep yet. He could fall asleep anywhere, and ridiculously quickly at that; she wasn’t too proud to admit she was jealous.
“I love you, too,” he replied, tangling their legs together.
It didn’t take long for either of them to fall asleep after that.
tag list (lmk if you want to be added/removed): @live-the-fangirl-life | @nessiansimp | @bookologist | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @sayosdreams | @dealingdifferentdevils | @rowaelinismyotp | @arinbelle | @swankii-art-teacher | @angelicvoice19 | @teagoddess99 | @dontgetsalmonella | @champanheandluxxury | @chloepereyra | @bookstantrash | @houseofcalores | @lysakirova | @generalnesta | @gwynberdara | @sv0430 | @catplayinvioline | @julemmaes | @secretlovelybeauty | @flora-shadowshine | @imsointobooks | @sophilightwood | @lemonade-coolattas |
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room 657. ⤑ jjk + kth ☏︎
⟶ 𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 : you didn't even realise you were calling a hotline. you're best friend jimin gave you a random number. he said it was a surprise ? well you're in for one.
♡︎ 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 : sexhotline!au, worker!taehyung, worker!jungkook, student!reader
♡︎ 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 : ∝ filthy smut if you squint there’s fluff
♡︎ : 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 : sorry i fr forgot to do the word count !!
⟶ 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 : stressed reader, soft!dom jungkook, harddom!tae , big cock!tae, bigcock!jungkook, size kink??, sub!reader, pussy eating, dirty talk, face riding, hair pulling, fingering, cum eating, praise kinda?? unprotected sex, roughsex, multiple orgasms, heavy heavy dom sub themes, brat!reader , dom/sub themes, pet names, daddy!kink, threesome, dirty talk, cunnilingus, orgasm denial, begging, humiliation, creampie, intense orgasms(?), multiple orgasms, cum eating, insecurities, derogatory language, sexual face-slapping, punishments, dumbification, overstimulation, basically pwp.
let's go!
you sighed heavily as your boots clicked along the laminated floor of your university.
today so far had been a hassle. traffic kept you 2 hours late from school you were earlier fired from your job. your ex boyfriend had recently been stalking you and to top it off there was no hot water this morning.
you were beyond stressed.
most of the time you could deal with it you had thousands of stress relieving techniques. but this time you were all types of frustrated, with school, your job, sexually, friendships, family. you sighed heavily as you dragged yourself inside your classroom.
the bright walls of your university aided in your pounding headache. the distinct smell of coffee and muffins flooded your nose as you blinked slowly.
the tall dark bookcases shielding you from the sunlight as you sluggishly made your way to your seat.
you slumped down on your chair as you massaged your temples in effort to calm your self down. your headache clouded your vision immensely you hastily downed your water and some paracetamol nursing your forehead throughout.
you hadn’t been out on a real date in months. it seemed like the universe didn’t want you on dates, you rarely ever found yourself being okay with that fact.
whilst in a trance your best friend jimin walked excitedly into the classroom.
he constantly and i mean constantly reminded you off the things you were missing out on but it wasn’t like you didn’t want to go out but the issue was you were way too busy.
being an english, law and history major meant that you were constantly studying literally.
you did love him though he always tried for you.
"_____ !! " your friend jimin called out to you. you grumbled in annoyance as you turned your neck towards him.
"what." you sighed out tiredly.
" what the- what's wrong with you ______ ?!" he exclaimed loudly.
" jimin... why are you so loud. " you whine loudly.
“ shut up ___ im literally your only friend.” he said nonchalantly.
“ stopppp!” you whined with a breathy giggle.
“ anyways what are you doing here you have biology?” you asked innocently wiping your exhausted eyes.
“ uhhh... well..”
“ spit it outtt.” you say , head tilting slightly.
" sorry _____ i just- i have a number to give you and i don't call it until you get home! trust me you'll thank me later!!”
0800-765-877
it looked like a legit number so you decided to trust him this one time.
"come on ____ class ended 20 minutes ago wake up." he whined loudly.
" what.....? " you yawned as you groggily wiped your eyes.
jimin let out an exasperated sigh as he dragged you out of class and to your apartment.
" i love you but sometimes i feel like stabbing you. " he says plainly.
" sorry chim, ive just been really stressed lately. i'll make it up to you i promise."
"you can make it up to me by calling that number, it'll solve all your problems i promise."
" jimin... did you connect me to a sugar daddy or something? " you asked as you flopped down onto your sofa
" something like that." he said grinning
" okay well you can go home now . " you muttered yawning
" promise me you'll call them? "
" okay, okay now you can go. "
as jimin left you groaned into your pillow did you have to call them it wasn't really gonna change anything. but at the same time jimin would do the same for you.
your home was simple, minimalistic but you loved it your soft grey sofa in the corner. your small tv playing comfort noise in the background.
you fought your tiredness to finish your essay due for next week. you ached in places you didn't even know you had the most you were aching was down there.
you hadn't had any sexual action in weeks even months.
you decided to go up to your room to try and relive yourself.
you sighed as your hands hovered over the pulsating area.
as a finger trailed it's way up your slit you involuntarily whined as you got tired of the foreplay you plunged a finger inside your soppy cunt.
your plush walls also fighting to relish your much needed orgasm as you groaned into your pillow.
you moaned, whined, groaned and breathed heavily as you desperately tried to reach your high.
you angrily quickened your pace. you were trying so hard yet you still weren't feeling anything.
in a huff you decided to stop trying to reach your endless high.
in the corner of your eye you saw the number jimin had left you.
it wouldn't hurt to call right?
it wasn't gonna be anything weird..... right ?
you took a small breathe as your fingered trembled attempting to type in the numbers.
1 ring
2 rings
3 rings
......
" h-hello? " you whispered out meekly
" hey honey, why don't you speak up for us?" the man on the other end spoke in a deep voice
" im sorry i- i don't know what this- is r-really for?" you spoke slightly louder as you stumbled over your words
"it's a sexhotline darling? "
" i- i well oh...” you huffed out , eyes widening softly you were lost in a trance of thought.
you were suddenly put on hold.
your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you gave yourself time to think.
it wouldn’t hurt right?
you were basically an adult, you felt like a teenage girl again.
so you decided.
Putting a client on hold was a part of their fun. It allows the person to wait and to draw out the anticipation. however in this case you were just confused.
you’ve been pacing back and forth inside your bedroom for minutes it was half eleven in the night , and you certainly didn’t think that your attention would be on this instead of your essay.
suddenly you heard another 'hello' erupt from the phone quickly you grabbed your device breathing heavily you gulped and mustered up your voice.
" h- hi i just want you to know that y-you can carry on I've been- struggling and i- need some just some help?" you say whispering the last part.
" you want us to help you cum bun? " another voice said this time it was lighter, kinder in a way.
“don’t make us talk to ourselves, darling.” the other man snarls.
a gasp emits from your dry lips when the tone of his voice turns firm. there was a strict, domineering tinge in his speech that made you sit still. you were too shocked to reply as your mind tried to comprehend the situation that you got yourself into.
“I-I…” you stuttered completely, wanting to smack yourself in the face. the pet names, their voices it was all over whelming you too much.
you let out a needy whine, both of the men groaned quietly into the phone.
" how old are you baby ? " baby. they called you baby.
" i-im 19? "
" fuck, will you be okay with this?" they ask to make sure
jungkook can’t help the soft growl escape his lips. It has been so rare for him to receive callers who aren’t twenty-five and above, and you might be his first time.
“Ohh, baby girl,” he bites his lip, “I think you’re the first client I’ve had who’s so young.” jungkook says to you
“ is that okay , i-im sorry- "
“Oh, its more than okay , baby. You still wanna continue? I can make you feel so…” he pauses, groaning quietly to himself, “so good.”
your pussy clenches around nothing as you felt yourself getting wetter by the second
" yes daddy. " you say nodding to yourself. you suddenly froze as you realised the contents of your words
taehyung's eyes widen in shock, his mouth agape, certainly not expecting that sudden word to come out of your lips. He throws his head back, closing his eyes for a brief moment as he feels his dick harden.
It was so difficult for him to hold himself back because all he wanted to do was to say the dirtiest, nastiest things that he wants to do to you in your ear. but he had to slow down.
“daddy? Oh, what makes you call me that, hm? baby?”
you feel your throat go dry, your eyes wide in shock. You didn’t know what to respond without being so shocked with yourself.
" i-i just really need you please please please i need it. " you let it all out, you couldn't be bothered to hide it anymore.
“don’t be a brat kitten.“ taehyung snarled into the phone.
“ b-but daddy! please i- i need it so so bad it’s not fair!“ you whined softly as your fingers ghosted your aching, soppy cunt.
they both groaned loudly, as jungkook conversed with taehyung
" kook, fuck i need to do her in real life she's making this so hard for me."
" same here let's just go for it here she's going to make me cum in my pants." he sighed as he palmed himself to your weak whimpers.
" darling, me and tae were wondering if you wanted to do this in real life- we'd fuck you so good honey, you'd become our little cum dump id love to see your body tremble to the force of my cock. " taehyung said interrupting jungkook.
" yes.. please you said as you moaned quietly to their words
" okay bun, we'll text you where to meet us." jungkook breathed out.
the atmosphere was dripping with heavy lust your eyes shut right as you relished their deep gutural voices.
“ i can’t cum daddy please help me cum pleas-“ you begged in frustration
“oh honey, it’s okay sh- sh it’s ok ill help you just be patient okay? you can do that for me right?” jungkook said in a calm tone
" what's your name by the way."
" it's ____." you say meekly
" ____ edge yourself, fuck yourself just do not cum. "
and with that in the call ended
you sighed loudly grinning slightly, you were gonna get your brains done out by two sexy sounding men.
you smiled to yourself giddily as you finally got some sleep.
________________
the next morning you got up and did your daily routine entirely different you waxed everywhere, shaved, exfoliated, moisturised, basically every strawberry flavoured you had in your bathroom.
it was a Saturday, you had time to spare you texted jimin to meet him before you went to meet 'kook' and the other guy.
not to mention you were frustrated beyond belief you had done what they asked you to do and you half hate half love them for it.
on one hand you could cum from any suggestive touch you were given.
on the other hand you couldn't help but want to thank them you felt so ready for them.
you walked to the cafe.
the soft brown walls encompanied the mahogany floors and the cascade of plants across the room as you happily walked into the bustling cafe.
" what's got you so excited." he said grinning like the Cheshire cat
" uh nothing i just had some good sleep last night. " a lie.
" oh really? "
" yeah i even finished my essay!" not true but not false at the same time.
" wow! " jimin looked at you shocked
" jimin do you really have that little faith in me. " you say annoyed
" to be honest no. " he said chuckling
" jiminnn, well i have to be going now i have an appointment soon. " you explain pouting
" an appointment where? "
" somewhere special ? " you say in attempt to hide
" if you say so. " he uttered playfully and he watches you walk away
you stared at the building in front of you as you checked the address again and again it was a massive condo.
you rang the bell of the apartment square and dialled in the number seconds later you were buzzed in.
you took the elevator and anxiously played with your fingers you finally reached the floor you were headed to and walked into room 657 .
" h-hello i-im here it's ______ " you say confused you really made a large mistake.
suddenly turning around, you were pulled into a sloppy kiss. You immediately relaxed into it, wrapping your arms around his neck the deeper it went. Before it could go on too long, he pulled away.
Pressed between both of their bodies, you could help the way your body reacted. Your lips met Taehyung's again and you whimpered.
Jungkook took the opportunity to press his lips against your neck, skimming them over the collar now around your neck.
He hands gripped your waist, pulling your shirt up ever so slightly to touch the skin that became exposed.
Goosebumps across your skin and you gasped into Taehyung's mouth. The elder chuckled, reaching down to where Jungkook's deft fingers explored to tug up the hem of your shirt.
you gasped loudly as you tensed under their touch.
Already, you could feel your mind turning fuzzy, falling into your submissive roll to let them mold you how they wanted.
Jungkook chuckled as you lifted your arms, allowing Taehyung to pull your shirt off. Left in your bra, you couldn't help but cover your chest as vulnerability set in.
"None of that, bun," Jungkook growled softly, ripping your arms away from your chest. "You wanna be a good girl for us right? Let us take care of you?"
"Y-Yes..." You whined, whining when Taehyung leaned down pressing kisses against your chest above the seam of your bra. Gasping, you pushed your chest out to get more of the feeling.
"What a good girl," Taehyung cooed, falling to his knees in front of you.
You leaned back, using Jungkook as support to help Taehyung pull your jeans off completely. He tossed them away in a heap nearby and without wasting a second, his mouth was on your core.
The fabric of your panties put on the side, feeling his mouth on you fully but as he slid his tongue over your slit and caught your clit, you let out a soft moan.
"What a good kitten for us," Jungkook groaned, hands still cupping your breasts. He pinched your nipples, making your back arch as you cried out.
“Is that pretty pussy wet, Princess? Does your cunt ache to be filled by my cock?” jungkook coaxes
The filth of his words doesn’t surprise you, Under his teasing words, you feel yourself grow wet, your lust-filled desire mingling with the humiliation that flutters through you.
"Aw, your pussy that sensitive, baby?" Taehyung cooed pressing his middle finger to glide directly over the patch where your clit was, making your hips curve inwards as the intensity was blare enough to startle you.
He chuckled deeply at that, kind of sounding like a purr and just when you didn't think he could fuck with your sanity anymore than he was already doing, he turned his head to the side and lapped his wet muscle along your jugular vein before enclosing his lips area the area for harsh suck.
you moaned loudly as you arched your back against jungkook. taehyung put one leg over his shoulder to go deeper.
"Daddy!" You cried as his tongue slid through your folds. He moaned at the unimpeded taste of your cunt. Circling your entrance, he eagerly tasted everything you had to offer.
" don't take it all tae, shit she looks hot." jungkook groaned into your neck, biting licking and sucking against your sweet spot.
you whined as you trembled against the two men. you felt hot.
"Fuck!" You shrieked, spasming when he gave you a slap against your sodden folds . " I—!"
" be careful girl." jungkook growled into your ear
you moaned apologies left right and centre as he continued to abuse your aching clit.
suddenly you were harshly pulled away from taehyung's hot wet muscle and pushed into the soft plush bed.
you whined in protest at your denied orgasm.
" now, you're going to choose. me or tae." jungkook questioned sadistically
" i...i can't choose that i okay um jungkook?" you said in a small voice.
" good decision honey, now lie back let me take care of you." he cooed kindly
taehyung scoffed as he sat back
you were more than happy like this, but when you shifted your hips to grind your centre against his, you both groaned open-mouthed into the kiss.
You could feel that he was already hard in his boxers. Knowing that his willing cock was so close to your needy core erased your mind of any thoughts that weren't of him.
When you dragged your clit against him again you keened, the pleasure incredible despite the barriers between you.
he felt so big as you continued your actions
suddenly you felt his large and literally massive cock push into your plush soppy cunt.
you moaned loudly as jungkook groaned.
taehyung smirked as he shook his head.
" get moving i wanna see her squirt."
jungkook rocked back and forth at a steady pace it was amazing don't get me wrong but you wanted more you needed more.
"more! more please harder jungkook please! " you begged.
" princess, don't beg for things you can't keep up with." he chuckled
there was an animalistic gaze in his eye as he started plunging into your pussy, taehyung mouth open jerking himself off at the sight, your open lie open as he ground his fat cock into you.
you felt hot and euphoric and couldn't help but let moans continuously fall out of your mouth.
suddenly you felt a harsh slap on your face. you felt tears well up in your eyes.
Without warning, his cock was rammed inside you. Raw and hard with the way your pussy was soaking wet from your denied orgasm , he began to relentlessly fuck into you.
tears began spilling out of your eyes continuously and your moans became pornographic.
as if he couldn't go any faster he began to drill inside you, your body shook in ecstasy as his fat cock was pistoned into you.
you felt your high approaching, you panicked and begged for them to let you come.
" please! please let me cum ! ill be good , ill be a good girl ! " you cried out towards them
jungkook craned himself to be face to face with you, as he stared at you with his dark and lustful. his wet lips capture yours into a sloppy kiss .
he forced your mouth open and let his tongue glide upon yours. he sucked on the wet muscle softly as you cried out.
everything felt so good, too good.
you came 3 times alone with jungkook and felt overstimulated beyond belief.
" now it's my turn . " taehyung dead panned
" w-what i can't take anymore ill just su- "
" i said. it's my turn. " he uttered in a harsh tone
you wailed in frustration as your body writhed in defeat .
" you're gonna take it . that's what you asked for . " he spat at you.
observing the way your eyes darken, turning neediness, and the way your chest heaves in short breaths, Taehyung’s jaw flexes.
He pressed the tip against your hole, seeing you tense up almost immediately. taehyung rubbed the end of his cock along your wet cunt before sinking himself into you.
" d-daddy ple- ! " you body spasmed against the head board as taehyung suddenly slammed his body into you continuously.
“ you’re such an eager little whore, aren’t you?” he purrs, condescension laced in his tone.
you tightly held onto the relentless man as you felt your high approaching once more.
taehyung’s thrusts became sloppy as he grunted against your neck.
you felt your body swirl and turn around you and you finally came.
hours later
you groggily woke up as you felt your body give out into the bed.
“ hel- hello? ” you said wearily
“ hi princess.” taehyung smirked
“ round 5?” jungkook asked
you sighed as you submitted to them in their bed
here we go again.
5 missed calls from jimin
#jungkook#taehyung smut#jungkook smut#bts smut#maknae line#jungkook x reader#taehyung x reader#networkbangtan#bts x reader#bts jungkook#bts taehyung#bangtanarmynet#bangtan#bts network#bts au#smut#jungkook au#taehyung au
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with your story, Mixtape, i loved it. so much lmao it was so angsty and sweet and i like how you do miscommunication. i normally hate when characters dont "just talk to each other", but you make it unannoying and understandable, even with your shorter works. i love it lmao
me being me though, i do want to add what Mixtape made me think of. and thats, arrogantly enough, me. bc. y/n. of course. buT STILL, hold my hand, listen to me-- i got this thing right, called an Auditory Processing Disorder. its part of the D/HoH. (actually, i have a lot of processing disorders, probably, but Mixtape made me think of that one) its where your ears are fine, but your brain has problems processing language. so a lot of the time, if you arent reading lips (their back is to you, theyre in the other room, or theyre a recording on a mixtape), or if theres competing sounds (like the melody can make lyrics hard to hear), if there's an accent, or if youre just having a bad processing moment-- people sound like theyre speaking Simlish. they sound like the Peanuts parents. theyre suddenly speaking a foreign language you dont know, and maybe you can catch onto the meaning via context clues and pass by the "i heard your voice but didnt hear a word you just said" moment. other times you have to ask people to repeat themselves (and sometimes you process belatedly and realize what they said in the middle of their repetition, meaning the repetition was useless, its annoying). it's like,you can hear a car door slam down the street just fine, you can hear the faucet dripping in the other room-- but trying to hear your bud that's driving while youre in the backseat?? with their face away from you, the sounds of the car itself moving and the sounds of traffic, god forbid if any music is playing or multiple people in the car are talking at once-- you cant hear a thing anyone is saying. its all gibberish
i have a point to this, promise. the end result is cute, i just have to explain a lot about this disorder first because idk if you know it already or not, and yeah
growing up, i couldnt figure out what the fuck people were saying while they were singing because of this disorder. the melody was competiting with the singer, i could hear the singer's voice but none of the lyrics. so what i always had to do was search youtube for the lyric videos or try to find the lyrics online. because if i couldnt do either (and i very often couldnt growing up. i generally can now, but every once in a while, i still google it and come up with zilch), and i had no lyrics to reference, then that meant looping the song until i could "get" what they were saying. and very, VERY often?? id get like. two or three lines of every other verse, and the rest was a garbled mess of English-ish words and im just sitting there going "i guess i'll never know"
now. call me crazy. i was born in 1997, idk what tech was available in the 80s. but i know youtube was NOT, and im pretty fucking positive googling song lyrics was also not something one could do. youd have to find the album's song books somewhere or hope the lyrics were printed on the vinyl case (idk if cassette tapes also sometimes had that, idk). a mixtape?? you definitely dont get the lyrics printed anywhere. buying several albums of song books for a single mixtape of miscellaneous songs is just expensive
actually, as a genuine ABBA fan, the fact that rheir voices are never comepting with the melody (the voices are always SIGNIFICANTLY louder than rhe melody) and they ennuciate well, shit sounds crystal clear, i dont have to look up lyrics usually. same thing with musicals, they usually have to put a lot of focus in vocal clarity since not everyone can see the actor's face on stage, so that's part of why im a musical nerd. its easier to process
so. im here. just sitting. imagining my y/n with their auditory processing disorder, wincing at eddie and going "I'm taking it slow. I've been re-listening to the songs until I can actually process what the singer is saying. It's hard to, like, hear the words. I haven't let myself move onto the next song until I figure it out. Because. Y'know. You made it for me, and I want to appreciate it and understand what you've made me."
"Oh. That's right, your brain-language thing. Uh. Well, how far have you gone?"
"I've been on the first track all week, actually. But I promise I'm trying! Really! I do like how it sounds, I just want to get what the guy's actually saying before moving on to the next one, y'know? I'm sorry."
and i say this because. god. eddie probably knoes all the songs. and i dont think hed like sernade someone who he wasnt dating, bUT
the idea of eddie having to "make it physical", like, him having to hand-write the lyrics for y/n (he knows the songs afterall, hes probably nemorized them or at least can re-listen and pause the song to write the next bit down bc he can hear better than them) so they can read the lyrics while listening, him having to take this ethereal concept of trying to communicate his feelings and WRITING IT DOWN, knowing y/n will have his heart in his hands (as opposed to the slight distance of putting a cassette in a player, no longer touching skin) and see all the mispellings and scribbles and smudges, and just. god. the fear of what if your handwriting betrays what youre feeling. the addition of paper and pen makes the will they/wont they get it, get me, get what im saying mystery of a mixtape feel even more like a love letter now, aw fuck. poor eddie. he already went through the nervousness of handing them the cassette, now this is like the sequel and he still has no emptional pay-off from the first one yet on if this is just him or what
ugh. i just thought thatd be so fucking cute. him writing down the lyrics for them. god
i cant write a fic, i dont have the time, but i thought youd like this vague outline of one in return for the gift of what you crafted and polished so well. thank you for it. again, shit really tugged at my heart strings, i love the angst and pining of it all. i hope this attempt of a return gift made you at least smile. i know it doesnt parallel with your AUDACIOUSLY wonderful idea of "i cant listen to this tape because i love you", but it still was an idea generated because of you. and i just love the tenderness of eddie doing the Love As An Act Of Service in it, and i hope that you end up enjoying at that aspect of it too. again, what youve done is an utter delight, and i hope this outline gives you a fraction of the leg-kicking squeals kinda feelings you gave me. thank you again. good luck to you in all you do ♡
Hey friend!!
I'm so glad you liked Mixtape! I actually also have auditory processing disorder (because of ADHD) and I totally get what you mean about not understanding lyrics. Thank god for google 🙌🏼
Also, I do think the idea of Eddie writing out the lyrics would be pretty cute—going through half a notebook of paper because his handwriting looks like shit or he keeps misspelling words. And then he knows that you'll look at it, see the lyrics written out and how scary that would be for him.
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Odi et Amo I
Odi et amo. Quare id faciam fortasse requiris? nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior
Catullus, 85
After a few years of working in the USA for Disney and playing the role of The White Fox in Marvel Cinematic Universe you came back to your motherland - Korea only to be greeted with hatred and contempt. To make things harder for you the universe sends you the most irritating neighbour ™. Will you be able to find your happiness and accomplish your dream of becoming loved actress in Korea without complying with standards of patriarchal society?
pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader
genre: actor au
warnings: angst, foul language (please don’t read it if you’re not old enough)
words: 5582
A/N: Hi this is my first fanfic ever, and so there are few things I have to say before you hopefully enjoy reading it. 1. English is not my first language so there may be some grammatical errors. I’m sorry, perhaps in the future there will be someone to proofread my works. 2. I’m terribly sorry for my interpunction :( for some reason they don’t teach it here and so it may be terrible. I am reading about it more but it’s not easy for me as I haven’t practiced enough. I’m really sorry if it’s awkward. 3. This was supposed to be long oneshot, but I was told not all people enjoy long reads on tumblr like I do, so I decided to make a miniseries out of it. Let me know if you enjoyed it and if you want me to write some scenarios, or post more of my works (i have a lot of them in the depths of my drive lol). Love, thatgirlwritingficsatnight.
***
You sat in spacious sofa in your old apartment in Korea. A sigh leaving your lips as you looked through the headlines.
"The black sheep of Korean show biz comes back after four years in USA"
"Whose heart will she eat now? National heartbreaker came back to Korea"
"Go back to USA you wh*re! - internet went wild over L/N Y/N"
"L/N Y/N comes back in outrageous style"
Most of them were a summary or perhaps a reminder for k-netizens why they should hate you; it's because you dated who you wanted to and for how long you wanted to, it's because this one time in the talk show you told off male host when he kept asking about your private life and because the other time you told another one to stop giving you all the questions about clothes and make up while your male co-star got to answer some deep questions about character development and that's to name the few reasons that came instantly to your mind. Of course some articles had to focus on your airport fashion too. The conservative Korean society had a problem with your bra, or rather a lack of thereof under your designer t-shirt. You left out an irritated groan as you scrolled to the comments. They were vicious and vulgar, you don't know what else did you expect honestly. You tossed the phone and buried your face in your hands fighting the urge to tweet something about the nasty people and how they should keep their antediluvian opinions to themselves. You sighed again perhaps if you were in a different country you'd do that, but here with systematic misogyny, where women were supposed to always smile and nod their heads, here where they got paid 60% of men's pay... you'd most likely be crucified. Then again who if not you would come to your defense? You knew the answer — no one, that realization was enough to anger you even more. The blood was boiling inside you as you snatched your phone back and went into Twitter silently mouthing apologies to your manager who'd be blowing your phone in just a few minutes.
"Yes, I don't wear bras. No, it's not a topic for your article nor your problem. I also know it may shock some people but my dating life is not a topic for your entertainment either."
"It baffles me how Korean society thinks its country is in the group of one of the most civilized ones but still treats women as if we were stuck in 50s."
Your phone was already blowing with notifications, you could see some new articles already popping and soon after that it buzzed as your manager tried to reach you. You silenced your phone and left it on the coffee table while you moved to the kitchen. You got yourself a lamp of wine and watched always busy streets of Seoul from a window. It was already dark and it looked like rivers of light with cars and street lights constantly illuminating them. You were deep in your thoughts as you pondered if you made a good decision. You had a good life in California. You had your best friend there, a house with a pool and many good opportunities for roles you declined. In those four years you became an international star after your role as Marvel's White Fox — a gumiho superhero. You knew in a year or two Disney would ask you to come back to make more movies and most likely you would but you couldn't stay in the USA any longer. Somehow, even though it seemed illogical considering the warm welcome you've got, you still missed your home. You missed Korea the country that loved to hate you. You weren't exaggerating when you said they loved to hate you, for instance you always played villains in Korean films and dramas and the Korean audience loved it. They loved to hate your characters and so every time you tried to audition for a role that would be first or second lead you'd always be cast as the villain. The very first time you played a good character was when you portrayed the White Fox for Marvel, they chose you because you were half American (on your father's side) and because you used to play femme fatales and that was kinda the character. You accepted the role secretly hoping that it would change the way Korea has seen you. It didn't. They said you were too Westernised and that you weren't true Korean and had their own perfect casting with actresses that weren't as scandalous as you. Well, at least the rest of the world loved you. Nonetheless, you came back. You still weren't sure if it was a good idea or for how long, or even if you'd work here or just relax; you were just happy you could eat unhealthy convenience store food whenever you felt like and that kimchi was a standard and not something you'd only find in specific shops. Speaking of, you craved some ramyun with cheese and perhaps some yakult as well. You changed your clothes into a pair of black sweats and a black hoodie and chose to wear a black cap and face mask as well. You checked yourself in a huge mirror in the corridor. Your outfit screamed two things: first was "I am a crazy murderer from drama" and and second "look at me I'm a celebrity". You sighed. Honestly what else could you wear? You decided not to change and went out to the nearest convenience store.
You walked slowly taking your time to get to the store while listening to Def Soul hoping lazy beats would calm your nerves. You bopped your head to the rhythm as you entered the store and went straight into ramyun section. You picked your favourite spicy one and grabbed some cheese, yakult and cherry coke. The girl working there seemed really young and you caught her yawning. She apologized and you smiled warmly although she probably couldn't see it through the mask.
"Don't worry about it I'm tired today as well." you said, and she smiled. You paid with a card and regretted not withdrawing any money so that you could tip her. You remember when you were just a bit younger than her, working in similar way but back in the USA; she’d appreciate extra cash. You took the ramyun to prepare it and hummed as you waited for the noodles to get soft. Food always got you to feel better. You were spreading cheese on your noodles when middle-aged men entered the shop. Soon you'd believe it's not your night or perhaps that you got some bad karma, or that you were just cursed. The men came up to the cashier and asked for a pack of cigarettes. You were about to slurp the first noodles when he spoke.
"When will you finish your shift cutie maybe I can pick you up?" He chuckled and the girl tried to smile politely although anyone with eyes could see how uncomfortable she felt. She tried to decline his advances with a small scared voice clearly she was too young to feel comfortable enough to just curse him out.
"You sluts are always the same. You smile at me flirt with me and then act all fucking.."
"Aish!" you didn't let him finish. And he turned your way surprised someone else was in the store. "I lost all appetite," you dropped the chopsticks next to the bowl and moved your gaze at the male: disgust was rolling off from you in waves, and he flinched upon meeting your eyes, "then again who wouldn't if they had to eat in the presence of trash?" You watched as his face got all red and furious, it seemed almost twisted now. "How dare you speak like that to me, you bi..." once again he couldn't finish his sentence this time you silenced him with your swift actions. You closed the distance between the two of you and grabbed his hand firmly. Then you put it behind his back and twisted it painfully enough for him to groan.
"Call me a bitch, I dare you." you said quietly, but he didn't respond, he just jerked trying to escape your hold. He smelled like tobacco, digested alcohol and grease. You scrunched your nose and took him out of the store. You pushed him lightly, and yet he still lost balance and fell. He shot you a glare full of hate and fury while you tried to remain calm. Truth to be told you were scared, yes you jumped in to help the girl, and successfully silenced him, but that was most likely only because he wasn't sober. You were silently asking universe to help you out as you mustered your courage and played your part of "fearless Y/N”.
"Leave or I'll call the police and tell them you harassed both me and the girl." He stood up and spit under your legs before he left. You sighed, a tight knot unravelling itself finally in your belly, adrenaline that was brought up with the surge of fury disappearing now, leaving you bit wobbly. You made mental note to thank the director of The White Fox for making you take those material arts classes, they came in handy. You came back to the store, you didn’t pay attention to the girl that watched you in awe. You just wanted to enjoy your noodles. Finally, able to take the bite you let out disgusted groan they got too soft. Letting out resigned sigh you opened the yakult.
"Miss Y/N.." small voice started next to you. The girl was blushing and smiling. She was cute, had long brown hair and a mole just under her left eye. You smiled back and it seemed to encourage her. "Thank you. You are like the coolest unnie ever. I will always support you and fight anyone that calls you names and.." You chuckled at her eagerness and sudden flood of words. "Thanks kid. What's your name? "Kim Seoyun." "Nice to meet you Kim Seoyun. I'm L/N Y/N." you said with a smile, and she blushed even more. You looked through the window and bit the inside of your cheek. What if he comes back when you're gone, you couldn’t risk it. "Tell me Seoyun when do you end your shift?" She took out a phone from her pocket. "Oh, in ten minutes." "Great I'll wait for you and order you a taxi." "Ah, unnie you don't have to… you already helped me enough and.." "Nonsense", you cut her off "he may come back and I'll sleep better knowing you are safe at home."
She nodded and came back to work. Leaving you with your soggy and lukewarm noodles. You thought about throwing it out but you hated wasting food and so you made yourself eat at least a bit although now it was cold and awfully soft. Ten minutes passed rather quickly and soon you found yourself standing next to the taxi with Seoyun. You gestured her to get in, but she stood in front of you and suddenly bowed deeply while extending her hands in front of you. Much to your surprise she was giving you a popsicle.
"Y/N-unnie I know it's not much but I wanted to thank you..."
You grinned at her while taking the gift. You quickly unwrapped it and tried it, it was strawberry flavoured.
"Thank you. It's the best popsicle I've ever had." You said honestly. Seoyun blushed and entered the car but before the taxi took off she lowered the car window and screamed.
"Y/N-unnie from today I'm your biggest fan! Unnie fighting!" You laughed.
"Mmm. Thank you!" After that car took off and you happily walked back home. Earphones in, phone in your hand as you decided to order some food since the ramyun sadly haven't been quite satisfying. You slurped at the popsicle even though it was the time of year when nights got colder. The taste of strawberries melted on your tongue. It was the first time someone in Korea told you they were your fan, it was also the first time a Korean fan gave you a gift. Despite the chilly air, and cold ice against your lips you felt warmth spreading from your chest. Grinning to yourself, you scrolled through different restaurants still thinking of what should you eat and then you bumped into someone or rather someone bumped into you. Popsicle fell to the ground and so did your phone with earphones brutally torn out from your ears. The man who bumped into you was in a very similar attire as your own he even wore a mask and a cap. You frowned upon realizing the gift from your first Korean fan was melting next to you. You were however about to apologize before he spoke in irritated tone while collecting some boxes scattered around you two.
"Next time watch where you're going." The blood inside you boiled the third time this evening and you snapped back at him before he could add anything else.
"Maybe you should watch where you're going." your tone was so aggressive it was clear all of the frustrations from today's evening build up in you. You gathered your things quickly.
"Excuse me..." he said straightening as he glared at you. His tone was promising a fight or a lecture at least. You didn't feel like any of that so once again today you didn't let someone finish their sentence, a habit of yours as it seems.
"Apologies accepted, asshole." you said fiercely and left him standing there with his stupid boxes in a state of shock. You got into the elevator and decided not to pay anyone any more of your thoughts tonight. You smiled at wooden popsicle stick and quickly forgot about the man downstairs.
Jinyoung was still shocked but also amused by your witty comeback. He knew he reacted upon his emotions when he was rude to you. He was just angry that he had to move the second time in the last two months. Sasaengs somehow found out about his last apartment in which he lived for only two weeks and just started feeling at home. Few days ago they found him, and he was harassed once again. Tired and angry he acted without thinking when you bumped into him and his belongings scattered. He wanted to apologize right away but you growled back at him, and he got irritated, so he wanted to lecture you or at least tell you not to interrupt other people when they are speaking, but you did just that and in very smart matter at that as well. Now Jinyoung was riding an elevator trying to pinpoint your face, he was sure he had seen you somewhere already. He entered his flat and sighed as he realized he had to unpack once again. He decided it could wait till morning.
You were woken up by both pounding and drilling in the wall behind your head. With long groan you pulled a pillow over your head but it didn't help much. You checked the time on your phone. It was seven thirty in the morning and you couldn't fall asleep till three - courtesy of your jet lag. You tried to ignore it hoping that you were sleepy and tired enough to fall asleep, unfortunately to no avail.
"Who the hell does the renovation on Saturday morning?" you asked your own walls with furious tone. You left the bed deciding to speak with the person next door. You didn't even bother to change from your PJ or brush your teeth, or hair, or even to throw something over yourself. You left your apartment in your bunny pyjama set, a gift from your best friend. Soon you were pounding angrily at the door. It took quite some time before the drilling inside stopped and someone opened the door. The man who opened seized you up and down with his eyes and coughed in his fist diverting his gaze somewhere else.
"Can I help you?" he asked his voice was a bit distressed. "I sure hope you can. It's Saturday seven in the morning." you were fuming, and he finally looked at you although he kept his eyes stuck to your face. "Ah... thank you for informing me. Are you working as personal calendar and clock for all of your neighbours or am I on some special treatment?" he asked sarcastically and smirked which made you: first bewildered and second even more mad if that's possible. "Let me rephrase that for you: it's Saturday, early morning and you are drilling in a wall." "Well, technically it was Mr Ahn who was drilling, I was enjoying myself with a book." He clearly enjoyed teasing you, there was this gleam in his eyes. "Don't you think that's a bit too early for a renovation?" your voice was seething with venom although you tried to keep your cool. "Quite contrary. I checked with the building manager, and I am only supposed to keep quiet between ten p.m and seven a.m. as you can see I even waited thirty minutes." He smiled at you and in that second you hated him, his stupid brown hair, strangely symmetrical face, weirdly tight cardigan and the fact that you couldn't do much since he was in the right. You just turned on your heels ready to storm off back to your flat when he spoke again. "Ah, and might I add I just love your fashion sense." he raised one brow and his eyes once again travelled through your body. "Excuse me?"
"Apologies accepted." Your face went from frowned and angry to shocked in a second, and he laughed at your reaction before closing the doors and leaving you cursing yourself, your luck and your best friend who thought it would be cute to buy you pyjama set which contained of hoodie with ears and a bunny tail and some shorts.
You entered your apartment, deep red setted on your face from both anger and embarrassment. As soon as you closed the doors the drilling continued. You cursed under the breath and went to shower. You stood long under the stream letting the water wash away both dirt and emotions. Once you were clean and ready for the day you’ve decided to ditch your flat for now since it was too loud for you anyway. This time you went for less sporty look but still all black. It was a turtleneck, slacks, martens and a beret. Chic and comfortable. You did your makeup and hair and went out for breakfast. The car was already waiting for you when you got downstairs. You pulled a black mask over your face and greeted the driver who didn't talk much and so you didn't have to worry about the small talk. You scrolled through your phone checking the messages you got from your manager — there was about twenty of them and somehow each was written with different emotion: rage, irritation, sadness, hopelessness and so on. You sighed knowing that you should probably apologize for the troubles you caused him. Then again what were you supposed to do, not react when half of this country is calling you names? You signed back in your Twitter only to be greeted by thousands of notifications. Most of which were trolls and haters commenting on your tweets with occasional death threats in your DMs. You tried your very best not to read each and every comment knowing that even though you were strong it still affected you. You were; however, positively surprised when you found some supporting voices. There was your best friend (obviously) who fiercely defended you and called out everyone on their bull, he even threatened legal action and you smiled brightly at his tweets, but there were also few Korean celebrities who took your side and defended you as well. Most importantly there were few normal people, fans perhaps, who applauded you and thanked for speaking out. You smiled when you saw user "Y/NUnnieFandomPresidentSeoyun" somewhere in your notifications. Somehow traffic was still bad even on weekend and it took you forty minutes to get to the café you had in mind. Once you got there however you didn't regret time spend on travel. It was café in quiet part of town, it wasn't very popular since it wasn't in Gangnam but because of that it was one of your favourites. No paparazzi, no dispatch, no other celebrities.
The place itself wasn't very big but it had huge windows and was located in front of the park so you could easily grab a coffee and go for a walk or just stay inside and watch people and kids spending their time at the park. The interior wasn't anything special either, it wasn't one of those Instagram worthy cafés. It had simple modern style. You came in and ordered coffee and some toasts and sat in front of the window. There were few people inside so you sat without your mask freely and wondered if your friend was already sleeping. It was around nine here so in Los Angeles it was probably midnight. You texted him asking if he's sleeping, and he just responded by facetiming you right away. His black hair was still wet from shower, and he wasn't wearing any shirt.
"Yah! Y/N-ah!" he scolded you immediately. "How dare you not text or call your best friend for over a day. Do you know how worried I was?" You rolled your eyes at him.
"It's not like you contacted me either. And put some clothes on Tuan."
"Never. I know you secretly love watching my chest."
"Gross. Anyway.. I haven't called because I was tired yesterday, you know jet lag and all of that, so don't get mad at me."
"How are you now?" His playfulness was replaced by concern and it was clear he wasn't really asking about the quality of your sleep which was in fact terrible thanks to your lovely neighbour.
"I'm fine." He gave you the look. "Really. Honestly I didn't expect anything better from what I got, so I'm fine Mark."
"I shouldn't have let you go. You know what? Those people don't deserve you. Come back to the USA and let's live together again I'll even cook. Or I can come to you I'll fight them and keep you company. I'm can easily stream from there.." You giggled at him and he grinned. "You know I'm serious though you can come back I already miss you anyway. God, I should have married you maybe you wouldn't leave me Y/N-ah..." he was whiny again and you laughed. It was an inside joke between you. Both yours and his parents would always tell you to just marry already but neither of you felt anything romantic towards the other one. You'd known each other since you were two and both of you had treated each other like siblings ever since.
"You should have and now it's too late. I'll find myself new victim and feast on their heart like a true gumiho I am." you said in theatrical manner while munching on your toast.
"Honestly who the fuck writes those articles?"
"I don't know but I'm pretty sure... Oh my god. You've got to be kidding me." you said and tried to lower your face down so that the person passing in front of the window you've been sitting by couldn't see you.
"What? What? Is that paparazzi? Your ex? Is that paparazzi rented by your ex?" You frowned at your friend.
"What? No? It's my asshole neighbour." "Never heard of him. Why are we hiding anyway? You can just tell him to back off. Last time I checked you were great at that." He showed you two thumbs up and smiled broadly. "I'm hiding because I'm embarrassed and I don't want to talk to him." "Why?" he laughed. "What did you do?" "I didn't do anything it was that stupid PJ you got me..." you whispered at him while trying to make yourself as small as possible. "Oh my god. One day in Korea and you already got yourself a one-night stand. This is not how I raised you. What would your mother say?" he teased you and giggled. "For the love of... it's not like that." you said angrily a bit too loud perhaps since the men in question who was just ordering by the counter turned around and looked you dead in the eyes. His neutral expression changing to surprised before it transformed to smirk. You cursed yourself and Mark and bowed your head slightly and awkwardly before you turned around to face your now laughing friend.
"You should see your face."
"Shut up. I hate you."
"You love me."
"What a surprise." Third voice spoke up by your side and you cringed a little before you put on your cold mask on.
"A surprise indeed." You said, your neighbour moved his eyes from your face to the screen of your phone carefully placed against the glass. Mark was still there, still half naked and smirking at you.
"Am I interrupting something?"
"Yes."
"No." you and Mark said at the same time and you send him death glare regretting that you couldn't kick him right now. "I was about to go to sleep anyway. Love you."
He disappeared without waiting for your response. You let out soft sigh and reach out for phone.
"Do you mind if I join you?" The man was already sitting next to you. He was smiling at you and perhaps any other person would say it was a warm type of smile but you felt like he was mocking you. Constantly. You straightened up in your seat and eyed him closely. He was wearing the same tight cardigan, it was accentuating his broad frame and muscles hidden underneath soft, brown cashmere and simple but well fitted blue jeans. You had to admit he was handsome and had somehow angelic face which only made you cringe once you compared it to his personality or at least to what he showed you already. "I don't think that's a good idea." You said after a pause, his expression didn't change for a second, and he sipped on coffee that blushing waitress brought a few seconds ago. "How so?" His voice was sweet and melodic, it irritated you even more. "I am a celebrity, there might be an article about me having coffee with you tomorrow." You kept your tone intentionally bored as you played with the spoon. He laughed and you changed your mind his speaking voice couldn't be called melodic when his laughter sounded so beautifully.
"That's funny. I'm celebrity as well I think I'll survive." It wasn't surprising at all, he was too good-looking to not be an idol, a model or an actor perhaps. You held back another sigh. You could already see the headlines "Y/N attacks again will this man keep up with her appetite" or perhaps "One day in Korea, and she already dates — check out Y/N and her new boy toy". "Yeah I doubt it." you said but quickly added. "Weren't you supposed to renovate your apartment anyway?" "I left it to Mr Ahn it got too loud for me to read in peace."
"I can imagine." Sarcasm was basically dripping from your tongue which only seemed to amuse him even more. His eyes were now twinkling and you thought that he must be a devil in disguise. "I must say it's very lucky that I met you here. What are the odds, right?" "Ah I wouldn't call it lucky, that's for sure." You were currently planning how to escape from this conversation. "So how about we get to know each other a bit better?" He proposed with a warm smile. "I don't think so. I don't even know you." "Oh. That's harsh you do know me. I'm your neighbour and this is our third meeting." He placed a hand over his heart and frowned in pain and you wondered how can one still look handsome while frowning before he continued. "Besides I can fix that. I'm Park Jinyoung nice to meet you. See now we know each other." You fought and urge to roll your eyes and you summoned the most polite looking smile you had in your arsenal. Your phone rang before you could say anything and you've never been more happy to see your manager's face appearing on your screen.
"I'm sorry I have to take it." you said politely, and he just nodded. "Oh I wasn't expecting you to pick up." "Ah manager-nim don't be like that I haven't been picking up only for one day." "Why are you so polite are you with someone?" "Yes." You glared at Jinyoung, he was watching you with a smile with coffee in his hand. "Ok, I can call later." "No!" you almost screamed and cleared your throat trying to remain composure. "No, it's fine." "O-ok. Do you have time today? We should meet and talk I just got something that may interest you. It's really nice drama. I know you said you don't want to play in any of those romantic stories but hear me out this one is..." you'd roll your eyes if not for your neighbour's curious eyes. "Of course when and where will we meet?" You decided to cut off his rumbling. "Really? Before departure, you said you won't play in any stupid drama again." "Ah, I see. I did say that. We should meet today, text me the address then." Hanging up on him, you hoped he got the brains to follow up with text. He thankfully did and your phone barked. Jinyoung laughed again and you gave him confused look. "Did your phone just bark at you?" You blushed against yourself. Was it so weird to have a dog's bark as your message sound? "Ah... yes. I like dogs." You cringed on yourself. Somehow today in front of this man you were constantly losing your cool. He either irritated you or made you flustered enough to forget any eloquent comebacks or eloquence at all. "Anyway it was nice meeting you Jinyoung-ssi but I have to meet up with my manager."
"Oh you're leaving without even properly introducing yourself?" He cocked a brow on you and smirked. You stood up and looked at him coldly. "I'm sorry I don't feel the need." You were about to leave before he spoke again. "Ah… running already... startled... like a true bunny. Come to think of it... it does have a nice ring into it, doesn't it? Bunny. It suits you and you even have a costume already." His voice was so extremely mocking that you felt the irritation buzzing in you like electricity. Not to mention he spoke so loudly the waitress that was blushing at him before now listened carefully. You groaned internally. What if she writes about it somewhere. Media won't let you live especially that he is your neighbour they'd say he is already in love with you. And "bunny" was such a couple pet name. You were in the midst of your internal crisis before he decided to speak again.
"Have nice day bun.." You reacted before you thought, your hand slapped against his mouth before he could say anything more. His eyes got bigger, he was clearly shocked that you were so close to him, that you touched him and that you didn't really care about your language. You on the other had were fuming. You've met your fair share of fuckboys, assholes and idiots but not one of them that had similar status to yours acted with such insolence in public where other people could see you. Well, almost none, perhaps your ex was the only one. You kept your voice quiet, loud enough only for him to hear.
"Shut up. And watch your tongue before I pull it out because the universe be my witness I will and I'll do it with pleasure. My name is not kitten, bunny or any other pet name your buffoon head comes up with. It's Y/N. My name is bloody Y/N." You hissed out and his hand reach out to yours. It was hot from coffee and soft even though his grasp was firm. He took your hand of his mouth and smiled.
"Nice to meet you."
You took a step back and send him the look that must have looked like you were trying to shoot daggers at him.
"I'm sure it is. Now if you excuse me. I don't want to be late."
You rushed to counter to pay only to find out it was already taken care of by Jinyoung. You furrowed your brows and wanted to give him his money back instantly but your phone buzzed and it was your cue to leave. The driver was here.
To Mark 🐰 💙 : One day Tuan... you'll pay for this betrayal
From Mark 🐰 💙 : ILY 2 good night. P.S. He seemed hot 👀
You rolled your eyes how hot was he didn't matter if his sole personality drove you crazy only after three brief meetings. You sighed. This was not how you wanted to spend this day: enraged twice and on your way to see your manager.
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Oikawa x reader ch. 12
Sorry for the angst this chapter 🤭 Hope you still enjoy though!
Kuroo flicked me hard on the cheek. “Wrong again! Damn, this isn’t that hard.”
I groaned, burying my face in my hands. “Chemistry is so boring!”
Kenma looked up from across the table briefly from his game. “I wouldn’t say that, Y/n-san. Kuroo is a chemistry nerd. He loves it.”
Bokuto laughed loudly in agreement, Akaashi snapping at him to get back to work.
It was Sunday afternoon, and I sat at Kenma’s dining room table with Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kenma. Exams were coming up, and all of us were cramming as much studying in as possible. I had decided to tag along with the captains and setters of Fukurodani and Nekoma, knowing that they could help me with some of my work.
I let out a pathetic moan, shoving my science homework aside. “I can’t! My brain is fried, it’s too much!”
“Take a break,” Akaashi suggested. “Come back to it later.”
I sighed, sliding out of my chair. “How about I don’t come back to it later?”
Kuroo chuckled. “I hope you know you’re never going to pass your chemistry exam, sorry.”
I flipped him off, turning to Kenma. “Wanna play Mario Kart?”
The Nekoma setter glanced up from his game, eyeing me. “Really?”
“Dude I love Mario Kart, why wouldn’t I want to play?” The long haired boy moved faster than I had ever seen. “Ok, I’ll set it up.”
Bokuto whined. “Akaaashiiii please let me play? I don’t want to write this anymore.”
Akaashi sighed. “Bokuto-san, you’re failing English. You need to study if you’re going to pass.”
“But--!”
“Fine, but only twenty minutes.”
Bokuto whooped, and I covered my mouth to hide my smile. I noticed red staining Akaashi’s cheeks, and I glanced at Kuroo. The black haired captain was smirking as he surveyed the two Fukurodani players, and I resolved to ask him about it later.
Bokuto and I raced to the living room, where Kenma sat cross legged on the rug. A few controls were already laid out, and I positioned myself next to Kenma.
As we played, we got insanely loud, even Kenma. The short boy won every round, but I got kind of close on our third game, which caused him to start shouting louder than I had ever heard. Bokuto was the worst, flipping off the road more than actually driving and laughing giddily as he collided with other cars.
After our fifth round playing, I threw down my control in defeat. “Dammit Kenma, can’t you just let me win one??” He smiled a little. “No, definitely not.”
“Are you guys done?” Kuroo called from the kitchen.
I scrambled from my spot on the floor, grabbing Bokuto’s arm. “Time to get back to work!”
The Fukurodani captain groaned but followed me back into the kitchen, Kenma trailing behind.
As I took a seat at the table, my phone dinged. I pulled it from my pocket, feeling my stomach leap as I saw Oikawa’s name across the screen. I opened the message, smiling a little as I read it.
Oikawa
Hey Y/n-chan! R u free this saturday?
Y/n
Ya why?
Oikawa
There’s apparently a big volleyball club party happening in the city
Y/n
Oh cool with all the local teams?
Oikawa
Yeah, and its at this big club 😱
Y/n
Sure ill come :)
Oikawa
Do you have a ride? I can drive you
Y/n
R u sure? I can drive myself
Oikawa
No I want to drive u
Y/n
Haha ok if you say so
Oikawa
🤩
Ill pick you up at 6 on saturday
I laughed a little, setting my phone down, only to find everyone at the table staring at me.
“What?” I asked.
“Who were you just texting?” Kuroo asked, and I blushed furiously.
“No one.”
“Hm...right.”
Before I could blink, Bokuto snatched my phone off the table, clicking the screen and reading the last text from Oikawa.
“OHOHOOOO, Mr. Pretty Boy from the beach!” He yelled.
“Seijoh’s captain?” Kuroo asked.
I groaned. “Stoppppp, he was just asking about a party this weekend.”
“Then why are you blushing so much, Y/n-san?”
Everyone at the table laughed and I buried my burning face in my hands.
✨✨✨✨
Apparently the party at the club was going to be huge, even bigger than the beach one. Karasuno was going, as well as Nekoma and Fukurodani.
I debated for way too long on what I should wear, eventually facetiming Kiyoko for support. She was wearing a glittery gold cocktail dress, so I didn’t feel bad about wearing my skin tight black body con dress.
I usually didn’t wear much makeup, but I ended up putting on shimmery eyeshadow, eyeliner, and lip gloss, dressing the whole look down by wearing my adidas sneakers.
At 5:46, I was so nervous, I felt like I was going to puke. I paced around my room, tugging on my dress and second guessing everything I was doing. God, I needed to calm the fuck down. It was just Oikawa, and it wasn’t even like we were going alone.
I looped my bag over my shoulder, jogging down the stairs. I snatched my phone from the charger on the kitchen table and scrolled through my snapchat. Kiyoko was already at the club, proven by a video on her story of Tanaka and Nishinoya dancing together in the middle of a crowd, lights flashing different colors in a confusing blur.
As I clicked over to instagram, I heard a knock on the door and froze. I practically fell out of my chair as I scrambled over to the door, flinging it open.
Oikawa leaned against the side of the house, dressed in jeans, black shirt with a matching black bomber jacket, a pair of glasses sliding down his nose. My heart thumped, and I pressed my hands together to keep them from shaking.
“Hey,” I said, smiling.
Oikawa looked up and froze, eyes wide. “Y-You-” His gaze moved down my body, his lips partying slightly as he let out a breath. “You look great.”
I bit my lip and laughed a little. “Thanks. You do too.”
He raked his hand through his hair, looking slightly flustered. Clearing his throat, he smiled radiantly. “Are you ready?”
“Yup! How long is the drive?” We walked together to the car, and he opened the door to the passenger side for me. I tugged down my dress as I slid onto his leather seat, and Oikawa set up directions on his phone to the club.
“How is the rest of the team getting there?” I asked.
Oikawa shrugged. “No clue. I think most of them are hitching Ubers so they don’t have to worry about getting drunk.”
“Very responsible,” I grinned.
“Speaking of responsibility…” he whipped a joint and passed it to me with a lighter. I took it, sticking the end in my mouth, lighting it, and taking a large hit. “Hey save some for me!” He cried.
As we drove, top down, we blasted Harry Styles at full volume. I stood up with my hands in the air, the night air whipping across my skin and making me feel like I was flying.
It was a way shorter drive than I expected, but parking took forever. Cars were lined up all down all the surrounding blocks, and we had to find a spot a few blocks away. As we walked, Oikawa smoked the remainder of the joint and we poked fun at each other.
As we approached the club, there was a line of people out the door and down the block. I groaned when I saw it, but Oikawa spotted Iwaizumi and a few other Seijoh players closer to the door, so we slid down the line to be with them.
“Woah, Y/n, you’re looking fine as hell!” Yuda smirked. I felt Oikawa stiffen beside me, but I laughed out loud.
“Thanks Yuda, that means a lot.”
As we got closer to the doors, music echoed into the night, practically shaking the sidewalk. My adrenaline was spiking, and I bounced on my heels in excitement.
Iwaizumi looked a bit more stoic, and I leaned over to him to whisper in his ear. “Hey Iwa, how are you doing? Is your mom ok?”
Iwaizumi smiled and touched my arm, nodding. “Yeah, thanks for asking. She got back from the hospital yesterday, and she’s doing a lot better.”
“Oh that’s great to hear!”
He nodded, and I looped one of my arms with his, the other with Oikawa on the other side. “I’m glad you guys are here with me,” I said, smiling. “I’m glad I met you.”
“Aw, chibi-chan, no need to get so sentimental,” Oikawa smirked, poking my shoulder.
I pushed him lightly, but sighed. “I’m serious. I really thought that Aoba Johsai was going to be a terrible fit, but I’m so lucky to have you guys as friends.”
I didn’t notice the slightly pained expression on Oikawa’s face, or the pitying one Iwa shot his friend, practically screaming friendzoned.
Iwaizumi ruffled my hair. “I’m happy you ended up coming to Seijoh and becoming our manager too. I wish you had joined earlier so we could have spent more time with you in high school.”
Oikawa opened his mouth to add something, but we reached the front of the line. By that point, the music was so loud that we had to shout to be heard over it. The bouncers at the front waved us through after we showed our student IDs, marking us as part of a local volleyball team. Apparently one of the local players had rented out the entire club for this party.
As I entered the club with Iwaizumi and Oikawa on either side, I was momentarily overwhelmed. The huge dance floor was covered with people, colored lights flashing wildly across their writhing figures, smoke hovering in a cloud over the entire scene. The music pounded so hard, it was like I was feeling it in my chest.
My body automatically began to move, dragging me towards the mass of people. I grabbed Oikawa’s hand, pulling him along behind me as we entered the chaos.
“Call on Me” by Starley and Ryan Riback began to pound through the speakers, and I jumped up and down wildly, holding Oikawa’s hands and laughing until I was practically wheezing.
“Y/n-chan?!” I looked over to see Daichi and Suga emerging from the crowd, both of them looking a little breathless. I laughed giddily and hugged both of them, still dancing to the music. Oikawa also reintroduced himself, which was a little awkward over the volume of the music, but they were all civil.
“There’s a karaoke bar downstairs!” Suga yelled over the music, having to repeat himself a few times for me to finally hear him.
“Karaoke? Ooooh, fun. Oikawa, wanna go?”
“Yeah sure, and I can show you my amazing singing skills!”
“You’ve already shown me, and they were terrible, Oikawa-chan.”
“So mean!”
We made our way out of the crowd together, wandering through some twisting hallways and getting lost multiple times before we finally found the stairs. A huge group of people were gathered down by the karaoke machine, and I spotted Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Hinata among them.
“Hey guys!” I cried, joining them. Hinata glared at Oikawa when he noticed him, but for once I was glad Kageyama wasn’t with him. At least that tension could be avoided for the time being.
“Y/n-chan!” Bokuto crushed me in a hug. “You ready for some karaoke?”
I smirked, tossing my hair. “Of course! Not to brag, but I’m a pretty good singer.” It was partially the truth; my mom had forced me to take singing lessons throughout junior high, and I had kept it up a bit in high school, so my voice was decent. Definitely not what could be considered very good though.
Bokuto ended up singing a slow Adele song to Akaashi, completely wrecking it with his horrendous voice. The Fukurodani setter seemed touched though, so I didn’t make fun of the captain that much.
I didn’t notice Oikawa disappear from beside me as a few more songs went by, but he reappeared after only a few minutes, grabbing my arm and tugging me to his chest.
“Wanna do a duet?”
I laughed. “Of what song?”
“Juice, by Lizzo,” he smirked. “Basically describes me, so it’s perfect!”
“But that’s not a duet--!”
I heard the beginning of the song starting on the speakers, and my eyes went wide as saucers. “You already requested it?!”
He shrugged. “Yup! Now let's go!”
He practically dragged me to the front, where we were handed two microphones. Oikawa began to sing almost immediately, his confidence making up for his horrible voice. The ridiculous way he wriggled around made me instantly more comfortable, so I threw caution to the wind and became his backup singer.
“If I’m shining everybody wanna shine…” He belted out.
“Yeah I’m goals!” I screamed.
“I was born like this, don't even gotta try--” “Now you know!”
“I'm like chardonnay, get better over time.”
“So you know!”
“Heard you say I'm not the baddest, bitch, you lied!”
The song ended, and I wrapped an arm around his waist to keep from collapsing from laughter. We stumbled off the stage together, making our way back to Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Hinata, who all applauded us as we approached.
“I have to send you this video, Y/n-chan! It’s classic,” Kuroo said, gesturing to his phone, where a video of Oikawa and I’s performance played.
“HA! Please do.”
Oikawa turned to me, checking his phone. “Iwa is wondering where I am, so I’m going to try and find him. Want to come?”
I nodded. “Yeah, just one sec. Can I meet you up there? I’ll call if I can’t find you.”
Oikawa nodded, flicking me on the nose. “Don’t get lost, chibi-chan.”
I ended up staying with Kuroo, Bokuto, and Akaashi for another ten minutes. Kenma had apparently flat out refused to go to the club, and Kuroo had decided not to force him. Akaashi handed me a few different drinks as I talked to them, so when I finally decided to head back upstairs, I was walking a little crookedly.
Miraculously, I found Iwaizumi almost the instant I got to the second floor. “Heyyy, Iwa!”
“Y/n-chan, there you are! Oikawa was just going to look for you,” he grabbed my arm so I wouldn’t stumble. “Damn, you’re wasted.”
“Do you know where Oikawa went? I-I want to find him--”
Iwaizumi gave me a knowing look, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah, he went that way. Just try not to say or do anything you’ll regret tomorrow. ”
I giggled, face flushing. “I’ll tryyy.”
Iwaizumi patted me on the head, pointing towards the crowd again. “He’s somewhere over that way. If you can’t find him after a few minutes, come back. I’ll be waiting right here, got it?”
I nodded, already turning away. All my fog filled brain could think of was finding Oikawa and telling him...something. Did I really want to confess how I felt? My sober brain screamed absolutely not, but my drunken head said YES.
The second I entered the crowd, it was like entering utter chaos. I was bumped from all sides by dancers who paid me no attention, the smoke in the air making everything hazy, the smell of sweat and marijuana reeking from everything. I could barely make out the faces of the people around me because of the darkness, the only lumination coming from the colored flashing lights above our heads.
I pushed on, not paying any attention to the people around me. My eyes scanned the dark shadows for a familiar figure, but it was too confusing to be able to tell who was who.
“Y/n!” I whirled around to see Kiyoko squeezing between two people, her gold dress flashing as she moved. She gripped my hands, a wide smile on her face. “I’m so glad I found you!”
“Kiyoko, how are you doing!”
“Good! This is hella fun!” Her usually reserved way of being had been completely overturned, probably by alcohol.
“I know right? Hey, have you seen Oikawa?”
Kiyoko’s glasses flashed. “Oh my god, yeah actually! He was just looking for you!” “Really? Which way did he go?”
She pointed, and I hugged her tightly. “Thanks! I’ll try and find you later, ok?”
She nodded, and I moved in the direction she had indicated. “Gas Pedal” by Sage the Gemini came on, and I laughed out loud as girls all around me began shaking their asses.
I pushed past a line of four people grinding on each other, and my heart leapt as I finally found Oikawa. He had ditched his jacket somewhere, and his hair was pushed back and messy as he danced. Iwaizumi and Kiyoko had said he was looking for me but…
I felt all the blood drain from my face as I watched a tall, skinny girl with long black hair wrap her arms around his neck, one of her hands trailing down his chest. He smirked down at her, eyes dark and greedy, and I took a step back. I suddenly felt cold stone sober, and my hands began to shake.
As I watched, unable to tear my eyes away, as the girl turned around and began grinding her ass against Oikawa, and he grabbed her hips.
The music pounded through my brain and I finally forced myself to move. Whirling around, I almost fell as I crashed into another person.
“Oh-sorry,” I gasped, looking up and blinking in surprise.
“Hello again.” The guy from the beach, with the serious expression and olive hair looked down at me. “Are you ok?” I swallowed, forcing back tears as I focused on the guy in front of me. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m so sorry, I think we’ve met but I don’t remember your name.”
“It’s Wakatoshi Ushijima.”
“Right! I’m Y/n L/n. It’s good to see you again, Ushijima.”
He nodded, eyes sweeping down my short dress, and he tilted his head. “Do you want to get out of this crowd?”
I paused, feeling something in my chest tighten. No, I wanted to turn around and smack the girl Oikawa was with in the face. I wanted to shake my captain and ask him why didn’t he look at me like that?
But there was another attractive guy right in front of me, and he was looking at me with a slightly glazed expression. I smiled up at him through my lashes, licking my lips and nodding. “Let’s go.” Ushijima’s hand was fucking gigantic as I pulled him through the crowd, keeping my head down so hopefully no one I knew would recognize me.
I noticed Iwaizumi by the wall where I left him, and I walked by quickly, praying he didn’t see me with Ushijima. I told myself it didn’t matter even if he did; I was allowed to have as much fun as I wanted. I had no obligations to anyone.
It didn’t take very long to find a hallway away from the party where no one was, and I glanced up at Ushijima. He stared down at me, his eyes intense, and I leaned toward him, my hands going to his chest.
The second I moved, his broad hands wrapped around my waist and pushed me up against the wall. I gasped as his mouth crashed against mine, and I squeezed my eyes shut, hands running through his hair. I shoved all thoughts of Oikawa from my mind and let myself get swept away.
Oikawa POV:
I moved through the crowd of people, eyes scanning for Y/n. I hadn’t seen her in awhile, and I was suddenly worried.
The tall girl with the black hair tugged on my arm. “Baby, I’m not done with you,” she purred.
I gave her a death glare, tugging out of her grip. “Fuck off, that was a mistake. I’m looking for someone right now.”
She pouted, but I was already moving away. I spotted Iwa by the wall, and sauntered over to him. “Iwa-chan! You don’t look like you’re having much fun--” “Oikawa, did Y/n find you?” He said, eyes serious.
“Huh? No, I was looking for her…” “She came up here asking about you, so I pointed her in the right direction.” “I haven’t seen her, but she’s probably around here somewhere.” I could see clearly something else was on his mind. “What’s wrong?”
“She walked by just a second ago. She looked upset and....she was with Ushijima.”
I felt my stomach drop. Oh god no.
“Which way did they go?” I said, by voice completely blank of emotion.
Iwaizumi pointed, and I began to move quickly, shoving people out of the way in my haste.
I ran down a hallway, turning the corner and feeling my entire body go completely numb as I finally spotted her.
She was pushed up against the wall, hands running through his hair as she kissed fucking Ushijima. The tall ace of Shiritorizawa had one hand on her waist, the other running along her ass as he let out a low groan.
I moved without thinking, so angry I could barely see. I ripped Ushijima off of Y/n, shoving him as hard as I could, so he stumbled backward. He was bigger and stronger than me, but I had the element of surprise. While he was still off balance, I charged him, knocking him on his back and punching him as hard as I could in the face. He grunted, and I felt something crack under my knuckles.
Y/n was screaming behind me, trying to pull me off, but it just made me more furious. Was she trying to defend him?
Ushijima was attempting to cover his face, but I began to slam his head into the floor over and over.
“Stop Oikawa, you’re going to kill him!!!” I felt a pair of strong arms grab me around the neck in a chokehold, dragging me off of Ushijima and throwing me against the wall. Iwaizumi pounded me on the chest, his eyes furious. “Look what you’re doing, Shittykawa! You’re scaring her.”
My eyes moved to Y/n, her eyes filled with tears and her hands over her mouth in horror. Ushijima lay on the ground a few feet away, face covered in blood. All I could see was him kissing her.
Iwaizumi let go of me, and I slammed my fist into the wall as hard as I could, feeling my skin tear and knuckles crack. Y/n let out a sob, and I turned and strode away down the hall. I was too angry to be here anymore.
As I walked away, I heard Iwaizumi behind me. “I’ll take care of Ushiwaka. You go stop Oikawa before he does something else completely stupid.”
Y/n POV:
What had I done? Ushijima lay on the ground, his face completely fucked up, and Oikawa stalked away down the hall, blood dripping from his knuckles. It was utterly my fault.
I was terrified, but not of Oikawa. No matter how angry he was, I didn’t think he would do anything to hurt me. I decided not to second guess that assumption as I spirited down the hall after him. Now was not the time to be afraid.
“Oikawa!” I yelled, but he didn’t pause. “Oikawa, stop!” I grabbed his wrist, and he whirled around, eyes furious.
“Get the fuck off me,” he snarled.
“No! What the hell is wrong with you?”
“With me?” His eyes were wild as he raked his hands violently through his hair. “You’re the one who was about to fuck Ushijima!”
I gaped at him. “I wasn’t...wait, you know him?”
“He’s the captain of Shiratorizawa!” He yelled and I felt my stomach drop. Oh god, I didn’t know…
“I-I didn’t--” “Who gives a fuck! Who it was doesn’t matter anyway!” “Then why do you care so much if I kissed him?” I shouted, clenching my fists. “You don’t give a fuck about me, so why the hell did you have to beat the shit out of him if it wasn’t because of who he is?”
“I don’t give a fuck about you?” Rage was boiling beneath every word.
“No! Go back to that dumb bitch you were with before if you want to feel better about youself!”
“What the fuck are you even talking about?” He snarled. Realization suddenly dawned in his eyes, almost instantly replaced with fury. “Maybe I will! Even she’s not as much of a whore as you.”
I felt like I had been slapped. A whore? That’s what he thought of me? Tears pricked behind my eyes. “You fucking asshole.” I stepped back. “You act like you’re better than everyone all the time, like you’re so perfect, but really you’re just a piece of shit!”
“God, you couldn’t possibly be any worse,” he hissed, eyes dark.
Tears spilled over my cheeks, and took another step back. “I-I am done with you. Stay the fuck out of my life.”
I whirled around, not looking back as I ran down the hall.
The rest of the night passed in a blur. I somehow found Kiyoko and Daichi, but I was crying too hard to explain exactly what had happened. Apparently, Karasuno had been about to leave anyway, so I left with an entourage of tall, angry boys surrounding me like bodyguards. Yamaguchi held my hand tightly, and Kageyama looked like he was about to murder whoever had made me cry.
I noticed Suga talking to Iwa as we left, and an ambulance pulled up in front of the club. Hopefully Ushijima was ok. I couldn’t find it in myself to care very much.
Asahi drove Kiyoko, Tsukki, Yamaguchi, Tanaka, Nishinoya and I home, but I was silent the whole ride back, entering some form of shock.
Kiyoko walked me up to my house when we got dropped off, holding my hand so tightly it hurt. “Y/n, Suga told me what happened. Breathe ok? I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.”
I felt my body begin to shake. “K-Kiyoko...I think I just…” I clamped a hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t throw up. “I think I just completely ruined my friendship with the guy I’m in love with.”
My friend looked momentarily shocked, but she began to shake her head. “No, no, that’s not true, Y/n-chan. He’ll forgive you.”
“No,” I began to sob. “He thinks I’m some sort of horrible slut. Oh god, he hates me.”
Kiyoko hugged me tightly, quickly opening the door to my house and pulling me inside. “Ok, ok, it’s ok just get it out.”
She led me upstairs, helping me strip out of my party clothes, washing off my face and gently brushing out my hair. For once, I was happy that my parents were so busy most nights.
It was 4 in the morning by the time she ushered me into my bed, curling up next to me and hugging my tightly. I fell asleep to her murmuring in my ear, but I couldn’t help but think how much better it would feel if Oikawa was there instead.
Chapter 11
#oikawa#oikawa tooru#haikyuu oikawa#oikawa fic#oikawa tōru#fanfiction#fandom#fanfic#anime#haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyu x reader#xreader#angst#oikawa fluff
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Funny Drabble Game
Drabble Prompts; fluff | angst | funny (when requesting PLEASE add which prompt list it is from)
Can have up to 3 prompts per request + can send multiple requests.
They will all be written for fem reader. I’m very sorry about this, it is just because of what I know/have experience in writing.
Please format requests as follows; funny member prompt # or #s.
ex. funny member #12 + #15
ex. funny florist!member x student!reader #14
Send your requests/asks: here
~ prompts under the cut ~
crossed out = don’t request, usually for when I’ve gotten tired of a specific prompt coming up too often or I don’t like it
Drabble Prompts [credit; https://justforshitsandcackles.tumblr.com ]
“You’re such a fun drunk.”
“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”
“Tell them to fuck off.”
“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”
“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”
“Could you not suck for five minutes?”
“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”
“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”
“You’re seriously like a man-child.”
“Well thats tragic.”
“I’m too sober for this.”
“You are actually insane!”
“I think you’re actually satan.”
“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”
“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”
“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”
“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”
“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”
“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”
“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”
“Don’t kink shame me.”
“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”
“I just cleaned that!”
“Don’t get sassy with me!”
“What do you have behind your back?”
“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”
“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”
“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”
“Bite me.” “If you insist.”
“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”
“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”
“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”
“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”
“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”
“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”
“I locked the keys in the car.”
“This is why we can’t have nice things.”
“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”
“Define normal.”
“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”
“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”
“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”
“And you wonder why you’re single.”
“Remind me to kill you. Please.”
“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”
“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”
“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”
“My middle finger salutes you.”
“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”
“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”
“Somebodys cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”
“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”
“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”
“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”
“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”
“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”
“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”
“You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”
“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”
“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”
“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”
“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”
“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”
“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”
“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”
“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”
“Why should we date?” “Because we’re attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”
“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”
“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”
“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”
“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”
“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”
“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”
“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”
“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”
“I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. give me a drink.”
“Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”
“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but…no.”
“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”
“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”
“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”
“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”
“Such big evil in such a little thing.”
“For the love of fuck.” “Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”
“Are you ready to go?” “Yeah. let me grab my machete.” “We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”
Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”
“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”
“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”
“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”
“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”
“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”
“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”
“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”
“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”
“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”
“You’re blocking the view.” “I am the view.”
“Why are you on the floor?” “Tying my shoe.” “You’re wearing rain-boots.”
“Cant stop me from slaying!”
“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”
“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”
“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”
“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”
“Why are you holding your boobs?”
“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”
“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”
“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”
“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”
“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”
“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”
“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”
“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”
“I need a date to my relatives wedding, and i’ve already asked literally everyone else i know, so i know you probably hate me, but please say yes. Otherwise they’ll try to set me up with someone, and they have awful taste.”
“One more sound and i swear to-”
“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”
“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”
“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”
“Please, never have children.”
“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”
“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.
“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”
“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”
“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”
“What is this shit…i’m just trying to graduate.”
“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”
“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“
“I’m gonna strangle you.” “Is that a threat or a promise?”
“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”
“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”
“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.” “well i mean-” “whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”
#seventeen scenarios#seventeen imagines#seventeen drabbles#seventeen drabble game#seventeen funny#seventeen fanfic#seventeen#svt#seventeen requests
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im here to clear up some things.
edit: just scroll to the bottom for the tl;dr cause this is a lot but i think its necessary so it doesnt seem half assed or glossed over.
if you can’t tell by the perpetual lowercase here, its mod galen! i figured i should address the drama coming on here from a different perspective. no, this isn’t mod atlas dumping all her problems on me, she’s already tried talking abt it herself - its me deciding to speak up on my own accord after seeing the shitfest my dash has become.
keep in mind - i will be happy to discuss any of this with you guys civilly, but im not going to be kind to nasty anon hate. dm us, or just send us a polite ask, and we can sort things out! if we’ve done something ignorant, i promise you we will educate ourselves and apologise sincerely.
the galen thing
first and foremost - i saw some people saying its sus that i, an nb mod, was added to the blog right after the galen debacle. it was not to save face or hide behind me! ironically, the reason i got added now of all times was because mod atlas and i were discussing what was going on, i gave my thoughts on the matter, she asked me if id be interested in being a mod!
mod atlas then thanked me for my insight and educated her on the issue and figured it would be a good idea to actually have someone in the lgbt+ community on the blog - that way, these silly ignorant mistakes will not happen again. i wont let it happen. not to mention she’s getting pretty busy in her personal life so she thought itd be a good idea to bring someone else on board.
i believe that people can learn from their mistakes - i was also hurt by that misgendering galen post. i bitched about it too. but i saw that everyone involved apologised, genuinely didn’t mean it, and promised to do better. and i’ll hold them to that! but im not gonna start talking trash abt them on other peoples blogs just bc they made a rly ignorant post. if you’re cis, i really don’t want you speaking up on this matter anymore. its not your fight. youre not in the position to forgive nor condemn any of these people. trans folk, im not going to tell you that anyone deserves your forgiveness, that’s up to you, but what they do deserve is your decent respect. unless they say theyre blatantly against trans people - aka make a deliberately transphobic statement rather than one made out of pure ignorance - in that case, all bets are off lmfao. i dont take that shit lightly and ill come for you too.
to the person who made the misgendering galen post - you know who you are, i dont want to send you any more hate than you’ve already been getting so im not going to @ you, but please. reupload your apology about the post, cause i scrolled through your blog for ages and didn’t find it - if i didn’t see it reblogged on this blog, i wouldn’t have known you apologised. i wouldn’t have felt like your blog is a safe space for nonbinary folk. its important you own up to mistakes and keep the apology there.
the nahara thing
look. im poc. im also straight up sick and tired of lovestruck’s mistreatment of dark-skinned characters, especially black characters (why do half of them look like recoloured white people....?) like nahara. its important for our representation that she does well! that way, we can get more diverse li’s on our roster in the future instead of every skinny white person getting the spotlight and 9238428903 seasons. (i love you onyx and juliette, but what the fuck.)
that being said - i dont think what mod atlas said was that bad, especially considering it wasn’t here on fansofvow, the only thing reblogged onto here being her english lesson on galen’s route with a relieved comment abt how thats a series started right.
please understand - we’ve been afraid of the new characters’ routes ever since the strike. a lot of writers left, a lot are likely to be leaving, and we’re concerned about the status of the app. this wasn’t to shoot down nahara, but out of pure relief that we’re not seeing a downwards spike in the writing quality post-strike.
that being said - if you think nahara’s route is well written, and great - thats awesome! please give her all the love for us, cause we do want her to do well. she’s just not our cup of tea. can we please respect that instead of slamming this blog’s name? nahara is still doing well, im seeing hype for her everywhere- one or two negative opinions wont change that. we’re not even going to a leave a review in-app, which is the most important form of community feedback to lovestruck.
the posts have been deleted. please, give it a rest. keep loving nahara. quit the drama.
the nikolai’s route in school thing
all the students that saw the screenshots were 18+, and none of the examples were sexual in nature. teenagers get shown romeo and juliet in school, a play ending in a double suicide, but showing adults a few lines of good writing from a 17+ app is bad? its not like she showed them a scene from a straight up porno, its just a story that happens to have sexual themes in it. its up to the students whether they read the whole story or not, and they’re mature enough to handle it. that’s all im going to say abt the matter, cause im no teacher,
and lastly...
i see a lot of people saying that we, fansofvow, need to “set an example” cause we think we’re a “fandom leader” or somehow think we’re on some high horse cause of clout? i have no idea where this started because ik for a fact mod atlas has never referred to herself as a “fandom leader” or anything like that, and guys, we’re not that up ourselves. we don’t even have tons of followers! we’re just doing our thing to support VOW. please don’t put words in our mouths.
with all that out of the way, i hope we can move on and make the community a happier place for everyone.
-mod galen
tl;dr: people make ignorant mistakes sometimes. mod atlas has apologised for reblogging the post abt misgendering galen, wants nahara to do well, only showed non-sexual writing examples of nikolai to 18+ students and never called herself a “fandom leader.”
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my detectives (part 1)
kjahfjhsj i can have a little infodumping... as a treat... anyway this was originally gonna be 1 post but then i got carried away so part 1 in the series of me ranting abt my detectives!
Kira Isabella Song
Romances N, F, or M
Age: 25 at the start of book 1, currently 26
Birthday: February 7
Star sign: Aquarius sun, Taurus moon, Scorpio rising
Height: 5’7”
Hair: Short, ash blonde, a little longer than chin length
Eyes: dark brown
Race/ethnicity: Korean-American
Other appearance details: Several beauty marks on face and body. a few subtle scars on face/legs from falling out of trees, etc. fingers are callused from band practice and left hand fingers are a little crooked from being broken.
Languages: English, Spanish, a few basic phrases in some other languages
Stats:
Charming/Intimidating
Impulsive/Cautious
Sarcastic/Genuine
Friendly/Stoic
Easygoing/Stubborn
Heart/Mind (equal)
Optimist/Pessimist
Team player/Independent
Primary skills: Science & combat
Strengths: Trustworthy, strong, courageous, calm under pressure, compassionate, thorough, clever, good intuition, self-sufficient, sure of herself
Weaknesses: Petty, caustic, distrustful, secretive, lackadaisical, insubordinate, emotionally unintelligent, can be disdainful, uncommunicative, contrary
Personal:
overall body language is casual and unbothered, lowkey her posture is kind of yikes RIP but she has a very fluid way of moving
her voice is smooth and somewhat low in pitch, very even in tone
Loud and/or jumbled sounds sometimes overwhelm her; she usually has noise cancelling headphones with her just in case
Rebellious as a teenager; she started skipping school and getting into fights, did some graffiti and one time she stole a street sign that she may or may not still have
When she wasn’t breaking rules, etc. she was taking boxing lessons, chilling in the library, going on runs, or playing bass guitar in her band
Wanted to get out of Wayhaven as soon as possible after college but was arrested after she came back because she was selling fake IDs and stole a car; absolutely did not want to be law enforcement but Rebecca and the captain essentially made her
The deal was that she would work at the station for 5 years and if she did well/stayed out of trouble she could then quit- she's 3 years into it
deep down if she wasnt a detective she would want to be a paramedic
She shares a lot of mannerisms with Rebecca and they’re way more similar than she’d like to admit
Birds FREAK her out seriously; she’ll deny that she’s afraid of them but she���ll cross the street to get away from them, also hates crowded places and deep water
Scary resting face and has a habit of just... eerily staring at people who are bothering her until they get spooked, but she's not actually that angry or grouchy, she's really just Vibing u know? she's not gonna correct anyone's impression though or they might start like... Talking to her :/
Loves any book/movie/show with a secret society or spy element and stories about a Hero and their Journey, also loves angsty philosophy books; her favorite movies are cheesy but feel-good (The Mummy, Pacific Rim, anything with big CGI monsters)
Doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth but would kill someone for strong coffee; if she’s really tired you can catch her drinking it cold straight from the pot with a straw
Emo/pop punk teen and she definitely cried when MCR broke up, she also listens to a lot of Dixie Chicks, Johnny Cash, Dottie West, Patsy Cline, etc
She’s been drawing since she was a kid- mainly works with charcoal and sometimes pastels. her sketchbooks are like her diaries and she’s never shown them to Anyone Ever
In her spare time, she still plays some guitar, draws, or reads; her library is extensive because she keeps every book she’s ever read or intends to read (it’s one of the few things she’ll drop real money on)
Very tactile person and fussy about textures, she prefers ultra soft blankets/pillows and her bed is basically a nest
Practical, efficient, frugal- she doesn’t necessarily find joy in cooking or anything but she can do it well enough, quick showers, uses cheap soap/shampoo, cuts her own hair
Her hands get super dry/chapped in the winter and it hurts very much :(
Never yells; when she gets angry she’s very cold & will Not hold back; every word is designed to hurt bc she’s purposefully poking at things she knows are sore spots
At the start of the books, she’s kind of... sleepwalking through life? like, she was in a not-great place mentally for most of her teens and didn’t really have a plan for the future but law enforcement was definitely not it? She isn’t feeling super passionate about what she’s doing and it kind of sucks to not have joy in purpose :( luckily that’s changing and is gonna be a significant part of her journey through the series!
Her apartment is cluttered but clean and she knows where everything is, if someone moved one of her things she would not be able to find it and it would bother her until she located it
She’s not stubborn exactly? Like she’ll concede an argument if it’s not super important to her and has no problem with losing or backing down in many cases; she’s pretty open minded in that respect, but if something is central to her values then she will Die before she backs down
On that note she’s overall a very logical person but when it comes down to it she'll follow her heart/first instinct
Does not care about rules or procedures At All, she'll follow them if it suits her end goal but otherwise... nope
Lowkey she… did not care about the reveal? it was a surprise but not her first priority in the moment- she kind of already thought UB was sketchy and didn’t trust them, so mainly she was pissed off that Rebecca had sent them to babysit her instead of actually help solve the murders
Speaking of Rebecca their relationship is kind of yikes. Kira isn’t exactly mad that Rebecca was gone so often, but she does think that she kind of forfeited her parenting rights and was annoyed that Rebecca was interfering with her life; first by getting her on the force and then by dropping UB on her. So now it’s Very Awkward between them because Kira doesn’t want to be like… mean but honestly what is there to say?? They’re trying but neither of them like to share personal information so it’s rough
On the subject of sharing, she just… genuinely doesn’t like to open up. Like, it doesn’t come naturally and in her mind it’s just… nobody else’s business what she’s feeling/what’s going on in her life
Genuinely does not realize that people care about her unless they openly tell her lmao... sad hours but at this point in the story she honestly doesnt think that any of UB cares abt her beyond their job besides the one she's dating :(
"Everyone should be allowed to feel things and rely on the support of the people around them, their emotions are Valid. not me though, this is my personal problem and as such its dumb so i have to get over it alone"
Her primary love language is acts of service, she wants the people she loves to have everything they might need; she’s Soft and really just wants snuggles but also she does not want to address it out loud
Her way of asking for affection is to just... stand/sit there and occasionally glance at the person... hovers like a sad ghost until she gets a hug... literally like 🥺👉👈 sjdhdkn Clown girl
She’s sarcastic and makes a lot of snarky comments, but generally she’s pretty honest unless she doesn’t want to talk about something (in which case she’ll brush it off and deflect or change subjects) which is why it annoys her so much when people are willfully dishonest or conniving
Pretty adaptable and capable of rolling with the punches but she generally dislikes surprises and being the center of attention
genuinely she's pretty chill! and a Huge enabler of chaos as well, like unless it's specifically bothering her she's gonna let it happen and mostly she thinks it's pretty funny to watch from the sidelines
in short she's basically like a feral cat who stares suspiciously at everyone from a distance until they successfully pspspsps their way into her heart and then she would die for them <3 but if she's mad she will make direct eye contact while shoving glasses off the counter
ahdgsksg ok last one i swear she Cannot Sit Properly, always has to be some flavor of lounging or leaning or sitting twisted into a pretzel
#my eternal love for u if u made it thru this whole post <3#lowkey these are gonna double as my writing notes which are currently scattered between 5 million notes on my phone#ANYWAY#twc
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