#and then i said well is harry quarantined with you and he said no i haven't seen him in 3 weeks and i miss him but he wanted to do something

[avatar-anna]

After reading Harry and Julian’s relationship I can’t even image how Harry would be on his first day of school. I would love to see how Harry would react to each of his babies first days of school

Young Dad! Harry x Young Mom! Reader

"Chin up, love, you're gonna make your old man cry."

Julian's little bottom lip wobbled as he tried to take a deep breath through his sniffly nose. His eyes were lined with a fresh wave of tears, his chubby cheeks ruddy from the ones he shed on the car ride to school. With a shaky voice, the cutest and most heartbreaking it had ever been, Harry thought, Jules said, "I'm s—sorry, Daddy."

"It's okay, JuJu," Harry promised, ignoring the bite of the cold tile floor on his knee as he knelt in front of his son. "Today is going to be so much fun, and it'll go so fast."

"But why can't you stay?" Julian asked, his big eyes pleading.

Those were the eyes that typically had his son getting his way without fail. Harry could never resist that particular look, especially when Julian's lips were pouted just so. My sweet boy, Harry thought. All grown up.

"Because this is school, bubbie. This is where kids go to learn."

"But you and Mommy help me learn," Julian reasoned.

"You've got an answer for everything," Harry murmured. "School is a place for learning and making friends JuJu. And to take art class and read stories and play on the playground. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Harry and Y/n had similar conversations with their son since they told him and Maeve they were going to school. For preschool, Y/n had taken on educating the twins, with Harry helping where he could. It was more manageable when they were quarantined, but now that life was returning to normal and the kids were getting older, there was only so much Y/n could manage on her own. Enrolling the kids in school seemed like the logical next step, and although some of them were excited by the new adventure, others were more apprehensive.

"Tell you what," Harry said when he realized selling the joys of school wasn't working on Julian. "When mum and I pick you and your sisters up today, we'll go get ice cream, how about that?"

"And we can feed the ducks too?" Jules asked, a hint of a smile appearing on his face.

Harry grinned. "Yep. We can go to the park and feed the ducks too. But you have to go to school first."

Julian's curls bounced on his forehead as he nodded. "Okay."

"Now dry your tears, bubbie. You're gonna have the best day ever," Harry said as he stood up.

"And you will dry your tears too, Daddy?"

Chuckling to himself, Harry wiped the corner of his eye. "Yes, JuJu. See? All gone."

Harry held his son's hand as they walked into the classroom together. Maeve was already inside, playing with a set of building blocks that were on a colorful carpet. From there, the transition was a little easier, though Harry shared a tearful goodbye with the twins when it was finally time for class to begin. He was the last parent to leave, and the teacher had to gently but firmly usher him out of the room so class could start. He stayed out in the hall for a few minutes, watching Julian to make sure he didn't burst into tears the second Harry left. Maeve was thankfully sat at the same table with two other children, and things seemed to be going well.

Before Julian noticed him in the hall, Harry left for the parking lot, wiping away the few tears that escaped yet again as he walked away from his babies. Y/n was in the car, Geneva and Natalia already in their car seats and ready for the drive home.

"How was it?" she asked.

"As expected. I had to cut a deal with Julian to get him to actually go into the classroom. Minimal tears."

"From you or from our son?"

Harry cut a glance at his wife, whose eyes were on the road in front of her as she drove away from the school. His heart clenched at the thought of leaving his children behind, but he tried not to show it. "Ha ha. Very funny."

"You were very brave," Y/n continued to tease.

Harry only hummed, glancing sidelong at his wife before saying, "Your mascara's running by the way."

"It is not."

"It is. You look like a raccoon. A very cute raccoon."

"Whatever," Y/n mumbled, subtly wiping beneath her eyes. Then, promptly changing the subject, she asked, "What did you have to promise Jules?"

"The usual. Ice cream and a trip to the park."

Y/n smiled. "Good. I was worried you were going to bribe him with a trip to his favorite candy store in New York."

"That was one time."

Y/n laughed as she turned into their neighborhood, her eyes softening as they slowly approached their empty house. It was definitely odd to only have two children with them at home, having gotten used to the usual chaos of wrangling seven children at once. Y/n and Harry had been reassuring each other for weeks that this was a good idea, promising themselves all the things they would get to do with a little more peace and quiet in the house.

When they got inside, Natalia in Harry's arms and GiGi on Y/n's hip, it was eerily quiet. No sounds of television shows, no arguing, no sounds of little feet running around. It was too quiet.

"You know, I forgot to pack the twins a snack this morning," Harry said suddenly. "They have a lunch and a snack time, don't they?"

"Yeah, but they can just—Oh. H, you're not serious."

Harry was in fact dead serious. "What will all their friends think if they have to eat a snack from their lunch box? It's inconceivable!"

Y/n leveled her husband with a look, making sure she knew his antics were a lot, even for him. Harry just stared back insistently, not willing to change his mind.

"You know you're crazy, right? Like this is crazy, even for you."

Ignoring her jab, Harry said to Geneva, "You want to go on another car ride?"

"Yeah!"

"Then it's settled. As soon as I put their snacks together, we'll go."

Y/n rolled her eyes at Harry, but couldn't deny wanting to see her kids one last time before they really had to be left alone so they could learn and adapt. Once they were back in the car and headed back to the school, Y/n rested her hand over her husband's.

"You know this can't be a thing, though, right?"

Harry shrugged, now behind the wheel. "We'll see. I'm a very forgetful person."

[sitp-recs]

omg love the water recs you shared!!! what a good idea for how to make a list. what about fics set in gardens or featuring gardening? recs from followers welcome too! thank u livvvyyyyy

I’m so happy that you enjoyed the water-centric recs. And thank you for the excellent prompt! I’ve really enjoyed these, most involve gardening and a couple feature gardens in a special way even if it’s not the focus, so I thought I’d include them too🪴

I Fall On Grass by @tackytigerfic (T, 3k)

Harry loves his garden, and he loves his sons, and he also loves— Well, he definitely feels something for Draco, who is currently distractingly topless under a pear tree. The language of flowers isn't much good when it comes to big declarations, though; Harry needs to find the words to tell Draco just exactly what he's been feeling all these years.

To the Rhythm of the Waves by @tsauergrass (G, 3k)

They found a lot of things together: the cottage, the garden, their lives, each other. Then one day, Harry finds a hammock.

In the Garden After Dark by @the-starryknight (M, 3.5k)

Unspeakables work in teams of three, but when Draco and Harry lost their third, Draco left too. Now he's back, Illusion magic stronger than ever, and Harry is less lonely in his arms.

Harry, Harry, Quite Contrary by @maesterchill (T, 4k)

It's almost Midsummer, and that can only mean one thing! Time for Upper Itchington's annual Tidy Streets contest. Draco Malfoy is supremely confident his street will retain the title. It just takes one contrary neighbour to bollocks things up: a certain Mr Harry Potter.

Garden War by @cibeewastaken (T, 5k)

Harry and Draco are quarantined in their houses, a lake across from one another. What better ways to spend this time than to annoy each other with letters and attempts to prove that their garden is better ?

This Delicious Solitude by Omi_Ohmy (M, 17k)

Draco is sent to investigate Harry’s extraordinary carrots for the Prophet after whispers of cheating rock the world of competitive vegetable cultivation. But how’s he meant to get anywhere when Harry won’t even let him past the garden gate?

A Ghost in the Garden by thistle_verse (E, 27k)

Harry and Draco are thrown together on an investigation into a sinister political movement.

Orbit by HenryMercury (E, 52k)

They don't like each other. They're not friends. There's not even a ceasefire of any sort because they're fighting as much as ever—but there's definitely something different about it. An added layer of self-awareness they don't dare identify, but which colours every Scared, Potter? and Do your worst; each You wouldn't dare and Then prove it.

along each garden wall by @oflights (E, 61k)

Draco has to have a baby (or have one on the way) at the time of his fast-approaching 35th birthday, or he's going to lose his home to his vile cousin. Harry offers to help, but their complex past—even beyond Hogwarts—prompts Draco to set out on a long journey of friendship, kittens, gardens, motorbike rides, and more.

That Old Black Magic by bixgirl1 (E, 77k)

Centuries ago, marriage contracts were the norm — ready-made alliances between families, expected and complied with, without complaint. But norms have a way of changing, and when a long-dormant contract flares to life, Harry has to navigate an unexpected splintering of the path he'd thought would be easy after the war... with Draco Malfoy.

Wild, orphaned (E, 92k)

“No,” Harry said, by way of greeting. Malfoy’s blonde head rose slowly, carelessly. “Get out.” “I feel as though we’ve already established this, Potter,” Malfoy responded. “And I feel that what we established was that you telling me to get out of places really doesn’t make me more likely to vacate them.”

Dronarry:

Trillium by @wolfpants (E, 13k)

Harry and Draco are shagging. Ron’s got a hunch, and the only way to find out is to volunteer his services alongside Harry’s in the Big Malfoy Manor Cleanup of 2010. What could possibly go wrong?

Silhouettes by @sweet-s0rr0w (E, 17k)

Draco's trying to fix the Burrow, Ron's trying to grieve, and Harry... well, just what is Harry actually doing, anyway? A tale of grief, gardening, and ghouls, bad memories, bad puns, and bad flirting, and nudity both accidental and very, very deliberate.

[blouisparadise]

Today we have the fifth part of our short fic rec list! All of the fics on this list are a nice quick read that is less than 10k. If you missed the other parts to this rec list, you can find part one here, part two here, part three here, and part four here. Happy reading!

1) Shut Your Mouth, Baby | Explicit | 3,028 words

While fooling around in a closet at a New Year’s Eve party, Louis can’t seem to keep quiet. All he needs to do is hold off until midnight, when Harry will finally uncover his mouth and let him come at full volume.

2) Heaven In These Sheets | Explicit | 3,557 words

Bunny Hybrid Louis has it out for his boyfriend’s phone.

3) Tide’s Deathless Death | Explicit | 4,350 words

The Red Serpent gleamed in all of her marvellous glory from where she was anchored a meagre few miles away from the land. Her flag waving proudly in the afternoon sun. The image was certainly memorable, of the flag, that is; a serpent coiled viciously around a human heart, fangs sunken into the organ and blood oozing from the very spot. If not for the ship herself, the flag had its own repute of conveying the message that the captain was not to be trifled with. There was no single man who had survived after taking up arms against the captain. Well, there was one man, but including him amongst the hoard of common faces would be a foolishness on the feared-by-all captain’s part. That man currently stood silently staring after the captain, palm curled around the handle of his blade, and teeth clenched in anger. He was certainly going to relieve all the navies of their plight by taking down the captain. At least then, in his relatively newfound life of piracy, he would have done one good deed.

4) Always Tell The Truth | Not Rated | 5,027 words

Harry is Louis’ dentist and getting a wisdom tooth removed shouldn’t be the end of the world.

5) I Knew It From The Start | Explicit | 5,233 words

Louis starts calling Harry ‘daddy’. Consequently, Harry discovers that he has a daddy kink.

6) Spaces Between Us, Hold All Our Secrets | Not Rated | 6,441 words

The thing about Harry is, is that he is the most wonderful guy you´ll ever meet. He is kind, compliments you on things you are usually insecure about, which shows he truly pays attention to who you are as a person. And he befriends everyone. Except Louis.

7) Outline Of My Sins | Explicit | 6,551 words

Prompt 453: AU where alpha Harry is an art student who is taking a figure drawing class and omega Louis is the nude model. In the many years that Harry has taken art classes, he has never been more hot and bothered than now, having to stare at a beautiful nude omega model for hours.

8) Shouldn’t Cry (But I Love It) | Explicit | 6,586 words

They're roommates. They're quarantined. There's a small problem coming up.

9) Your Name Is Tattooed To The Bottom Of My Heart | Explicit | 6,613 words

Prompt 114: a PWP where Louis gets an arse tattoo with Harry’s name for his birthday.

10) Leave Like The Summer Breeze | Explicit | 6,551 words

When Louis and Zayn are stranded in Alabama, a farmer offers them shelter. He just asks for one thing in return.

11) Smile for the Camera for It Knows Everything, Hollywood Star| Mature | 6,676 words

Prompt 132- The story of Nancy Reagan being called the blowjob queen of Hollywood but it’s Louis.

12) The Writing On the Wall | Explicit | 6,705 words

When BookToker Louis receives a gift basket filled with all his favorite sweets, wines, and stuffed animals alongside the new Harry Styles book, he’s shocked at the story he finds in the pages.

13) Muffins & Cigarettes| Mature | 7,591 words

Louis pouts. “You can’t pout your way into this, Louis”, Harry said as he was fixing his tie, watch and rings glinting against the soft sunlight filtering through the window. “Of course, I can. Watch me.”

14) The Knothead Neighbor| Mature | 8,058 words

Prompt 3: Neighbors AU, preferably ABO! Harry works evenings/nights (maybe like a surgeon something that requires him to be gone for long hours) and has a cat. The cat has a little kitty door at the back so that it can explore and such. Louis just moved next door and the cat seems to always end up at his door. Eventually, Louis lets the cat in, as he’s new and he’s feeling quite lonely. They become fast friends, so much so that the cat prefers to stay with Louis rather than go home. Harry gets concerned that the cat starts to stay out all day/night so he eventually leaves a note attached to the cat’s collar with its name and phone number. Louis texts him telling him he’s his neighbor and not to worry, the cat just likes to hang with him as it might be lonely. Harry gets pissed that this stranger is stealing his cat so he goes to confront Louis and tell him to stop stealing his cat. Of course, as soon as he sees Louis, he falls in love with him and the rest is history. (If ABO could be cute that both Harry and Louis like to cuddle with the cat because it holds the other’s scent)

15) Kiss It Better | Explicit | 8,080 words

Harry shakes his head with a light laugh and leans down to kiss him again which Louis happily accepts even if he is a little confused by the reaction. "Baby, not a night has gone by that I haven't thought about you in my bed, naked, and begging for my cock." Blinking up at him with wide eyes, Louis opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. While they did flirt a lot over the last few weeks, Harry had never said anything like that. It shocks him as much as it turns him on. "News to me." "I won't lie and say I like random hookups or casual sex, but to me this isn't what that is." Louis swallows thickly, unsure of what to say to that but once again Harry gives him an out. "So, If you want we can stay up here and I can show you all the things I've thought about doing to you." Another kiss, quick and sweet. "Or, we can go back downstairs and we'll dance all night."

16) Could Start A Cult | Explicit | 8,750 words

He lowers down the top that Louis is wearing, successfully unclasping his nursing bra as well, letting Louis’ tits bounce at the sudden movement. Harry massages both breasts to stimulate the milk flow, and he can feel his cock hardening inside his pants.

17) Should Be, Meant To Be | Explicit | 9,174 words

Prompt #65: Louis signs up for a Sugar Daddy dating website on a drunken dare. He forgets for a while, until one night he gets a notification for a message request from none other than his really hot (really rich) boss, Harry Styles.

18) Into It | Explicit | 9,197 words

Louis meets Harry. They hit it off.

19) Something To Prove | Explicit | 9,425 words

Louis is the first and only omega to work at Red Valley Medical Center. Despite being more than qualified, he still faces prejudice for his career choice everyday. From patients refusing his treatment to condescending alpha doctors intervening with his work, practicing medicine in Boston is more challenging than Louis had ever thought it would be.

20) Sugar Water | Explicit | 9,454 words

When his most familiar begins to feel all too unfamiliar, Harry finds out what it means to love like real people do.

21) Hook You Up (Charm You Down) | Explicit | 9,600 words

Swiftly, Harry raises his right hand to his head. Bringing two ringed fingers up, he touches the brown hat sitting on his head, tipping it with a raise of eyebrows in the direction of Peter Pan. He punctuates the whole action with his signature smirk. The reaction is almost immediate. Like Harry hoped it’d be. Though he expected the grin he received, he can’t say he directly expected the man to come forward his way. But he surely isn’t going to complain. “Captain! Fancy seeing you there,” Peter Pan says when he reaches Harry’s space. And wow. Seeing it from up close, Niall was right. Face of an angel, totally Harry’s type and all that. 

22) Poppies In May | Mature | 9,603 words

And maybe he deserves it, Louis thinks bitterly. His hand curls around the fence tightly, and he feels like if he lets go he’ll slid onto the cold ground and never fucking get up again. Maybe standing here, staring at Harry’s hunched over, retreating back is what he deserves.

23) Wanna Do Nothing With You | Explicit | 9,606 words

The accident happens in the stupidest way possible. One minute Louis is demonstrating a skateboard trick he’d just learned for Lottie, the next he’s waking up in a hospital. He’s told that he wasn’t unconscious the entire ride, but he has absolutely no recollection of it. One second he’s fucking around in his own garden and the next he’s being assaulted with the strong sterile scent of a hospital. So. There’s that.

24) Hello, My Name is Louis | Explicit | 9,686 words

Louis hurried to hang up the phone and take off his headset, throwing it away as if it was burning hot. He hugged himself by the shoulders and hid his face in his knees, sitting in his desk chair like a swimmer ready to dip into a pool, a pool of embarrassment. Not many people got past "Hello, my name is… " and even fewer engaged in a full conversation with him. And if they did, it usually went better than this.

25) Got It Right Such A Long Time Ago | Explicit | 9,699 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

There are a lot of people Harry might expect to find on his doorstep at three o’clock in the afternoon these days. It could be the delivery man, come to drop off the pair of boots Harry impulsively ordered online last week. It could be one of his neighbors, dropping by to complain about how a party he’d thrown weeks ago had clogged up the street. It could also be any number of his friends in L.A., who stop by unannounced most days to mooch off Harry’s food or whisk him away to try some new yogurt shop.    As a rule, it definitely cannot be Louis Tomlinson, although Harry’s blinked at least three times now, and it’s still Louis standing there, a backpack slung over his shoulder and a duffel bag at his feet.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Chapter 5

Series Summary: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she knows for a fact that anything involving Harry gets messy.

Chapter Summary: Things are changing, for the entire world, so Harry and Cassidy navigate their friendship through the new situation that everyone now finds themselves in. Will things ever be the same as they were?

Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language, Covid-19, lockdowns & quarantines, mild injury, potential jealousy, wine consumption

[ present - March 2020 ]

With her phone held in front of her face, Cassidy quickly scans the vicinity of the room, through the door frame, making sure Cecelia is not within earshot.

"At least half of the country is on edge." She states quietly, eyes still glancing around to look out for her toddler. The little one doesn't need to hear or sense any concern that is present in their current conversation.

"It's the same here. The new travel ban isn't helping." Harry replies, sighing as he dips his head down. "It's the uncertainty of things. No one knows what's going to happen. It's as if the future is hazy."

"Hopefully it's nothing to be too concerned with." She responds, yet feeling a mild tightness in her chest. Just like Harry said, it's the uncertainty that worries her.

"On to a more positive subject, if things settle down, are you doing anything for Mother's Day? It's in a few weeks, yeah?"

Cassidy's shoulders raise in a shrug, an odd and solemn feeling rushing over her. She's never truly celebrated the holiday. When she was younger, her father obviously never did anything for her mum. Not anything good, anyway. Cassidy tried to do fun things with her, but it wasn't much. When she became a mum herself, there wasn't another person in the home besides her baby girl, so no one else was there to share in the traditional festivities of the day. Not that she wanted a big fuss anyway. Besides, this is the first year that Cecelia is even remotely aware that there is anything special about it. Needless to say, it has yet to be anything but another day of the week up until this point, so she hasn't thought to do anything specific.

"I don't know. It's like Valentine's Day, we'll probably just keep it simple."

"Nope." Harry states with a strong shake of his head. "I'm texting my mum."

"Don't you dare, Harry!" Cassidy exclaims, wishing she could reach through the screen to stop his plan from going any further, whatever it may be.

"You can't just do nothing for Mother's Day, Cass! You're a good mum! You should do something!"

"Harry, I swear to god-"

"Too late!" He proclaims triumphantly, that smug little smirk appearing immediately. Cassidy gives him the most intense glare she possibly can, hoping he can feel it somehow on the other end of the video chat.

"I hate you."

"That's not very nice…" He pouts, causing him to receive an eye roll of an unamused nature. "May I please talk to Cece? She's much more pleasant."

"Yeah, well, that's because she actually likes you." Cassidy quips, mimicking his mischievous smirk to add to her sarcastic insult.

"Hey…" Harry states. "Bloody hell. You're a grump today…"

Cassidy chews on the corner of her bottom lip. She knows she's being a bit too snappy. She isn't meaning to. All the talk, and worry, about this new virus that is spreading rapidly, it's getting to her a bit more than she expected. It doesn't help that she just started her menstrual cycle, and that Cecelia woke up multiple times during the night with a sudden onset of bad dreams.

"Sorry about that." She sighs, looking up to her phone, finding Harry's eyes attempting to flicker over her features through the video call. "It's just that things aren't really going very well today."

"Do you… you don't have to… but do you want to talk about it?"

Much to her annoyance, Cassidy cannot help the small flutter in her stomach at his concern and willingness to help. It hasn't even been that long but he really has become one of her closest friends.

"It's…" She chuckles, feeling just slightly awkward enough to stop herself before talking to him about her physical female issues. "Woman stuff."

"Ah. Okay." Harry responds, nodding as if he understands exactly what she means. Though, he might. He grew up with two women in the household, and has obviously dated a number of them too. Even still, it's not something she's willing to go into detail about.

"Also, Cece didn't sleep well last night." Her lips tense together in an awkward smile, and Harry presents a more sincere pout at the new information.

"That's no good." He replies, a slightly sad tone to his words.

"I'm sure she really would love to talk to you, actually." She admits, no longer with her comical demeanor.

"Alright. Send me over to her." He smiles, causing Cassidy to do the same.

She gets up from the edge of her bed, walking into the living room where she, of course, finds her daughter colouring across multiple pages of paper.

"Hey Bug, Harry wants to say hi."

Cecelia immediately drops her crayons and bounces in her place on the floor, waiting for her mum to bring over the phone. Cassidy giggles at her daughter's excitement and looks at her phone to switch the camera view for Harry to see the little girl's anticipation.

Suddenly, she is halted and instantly feels a shooting pain through her foot, originating from her pinky toe. Her hands fly up and she turns around to watch in agony as her phone lifts into the air and then falls onto the floor, smacking down against the tile in the kitchen.

"Oh for fu-... for crying out loud!" She shouts, holding back the true words she wants to release, for the sake of setting a good example for her daughter.

"Umm… hello? What happened? It's dark over here." She hears Harry say as she wobbles over and retrieves her device. "Are… are you alright?"

"I stubbed my damn toe." She growls, turning it over to find the back camera cracked all the way through. Shattered would be a better description. "And the camera is broken."

"Is it salvageable?"

"I doubt it. I can't do much about it anyway. I don't have the time right now to get a new one. Figures." She sighs, grinding her teeth down enough to feel pain in her jaw. She is usually better at handling or at least hiding her frustration, but her hormones and lack of sleep, as well as everything going on in the world, have just built up inside and this was the thing to tip her over. "Nothing is going my way today."

For some reason, she brushes off the phone, as if the dusting off would solve her problems, and then walks back over to Cecelia, whose eyes are wide open, clearly trying to use her three year old brain power to understand what just unfolded in front of her.

"Is Harry still on da phone?" Cecelia asks, her face changing to one ready for disappointment.

"Yes he is." Her mum replies, flipping the camera view back to face her, handing the device over to her daughter, and plopping down onto the sofa behind her.

"Harry!"

"Hello Cece!" He exclaims back, with just as much enthusiasm as he received. "What are you doing today?"

As Cecelia lifts up each of her drawings to proudly show them off, Cassidy examines her now throbbing toe, discovering the nail half snapped off, and she grimaces at the pain.

She leans forward and rests her elbows on her thighs, pinching her nose between her finger and thumb, squeezing her eyes shut. This isn't the worst thing to happen to her, and it isn't the worst day she's ever had. Not even close. Quite a few from her childhood could easily win that title. But, the sense of feeling overwhelmed still manages to hit her hard, and tears begin to sit on her lower lash line.

"Yeah, but Mummy helped-ed me when I had da bad d'eams."

"You have a very good mum." Harry states, causing Cassidy's head to snap up, seeing his gaze switch between her and Cecelia. His subtle smile pulls her out from the downward spiral of negativity, just enough to straighten her posture.

"She's da best mummy ever!" Her daughter exclaims, and Cassidy's eyes begin to water again, forming out of gratitude now instead of helplessness.

"Could you give the phone back to your mum, please?"

"Yeah, 'kay. Buh-bye Harry!" Cecelia waves to the forward facing camera, thankfully still working for this interaction, and hands the phone back to Cassidy. She quickly swipes a finger over each cheek, clears her throat, and lifts up the device to be in full view of the man on the other end.

"Cass, are you sure you're okay?" He asks, so much compassion in his voice that even the hardest of hearts would not be able to reject it. She's almost positive that statement would have changed her mind about him when they were younger. Possibly.

"I'll be alright." She replies, unsure of the honesty behind her answer, but certain that she does not want to burden him with any of these minimal problems.

"I'm here to help if you need me, okay? Well, I'm here, in Los Angeles, but the sentiment still remains." He chuckles, and Cassidy cannot hold back the small laugh she instinctively lets out.

"Thank you." She replies, knowing his generous heart, and not being one to hold back from doing what he can for a friend.

"No problem. But I should get going, and get a bit of sleep."

"Wait… what time is it there…?"

Harry pulls his lips inward, tightly, and closes his eyes, being accompanied by a subtle shake of his head.

"Harry…"

"It's 1 in the morning." He utters, scrunching up his face with the admission.

"Oh my god, Harry! We wouldn't have rung if we knew what time it was there! Why did you answer the phone in the middle of the night?"

"I couldn't ignore a call from one of my best friends, and her mum!"

"Piss off. You're horrible!"

"And you're still a grump. G'night!"

Cassidy rolls her eyes and watches Harry give a quick wink before reaching in front of him and ending the call. She locks the screen and reaches to place it in her pocket when she feels a notification cause her phone to buzz. She brings it back around and opens her messages to see a couple of texts from Anne.

🗨️ Anne: come over on mother's day

🗨️ Anne: and that's non-negotiable

"Oh for fucks sake." She whispers. "I'm going to kill him."

•••

Curled up on the couch in a blanket, fingers tapping away on the laptop sitting on her thighs, Cassidy groans at the sudden rapping at the front door. The thought crosses her mind to ignore the stranger on the other side, but the knocking continues, so she figures an answer to their persistence will shut it down sooner.

She angrily swings the door open, ready to scowl at the intrusion, when she is halted by the sight of her best friend.

"Bloody hell, CJ!" Gemma exclaims, her eyes wide. "Why weren't you answering the door?"

"I was trying to avoid the annoying person who was interrupting my day." Cassidy chuckles, feeling thankful it was simply her friend, and slightly guilty that she didn't respond to her sooner.

"Annoying?" Her friend drops her jaw in disbelief. "Bit rude considering I brought you some coffee!"

Cassidy's eyes travel down to the to-go cups in her friend's hands, and can already feel the warmth of the drink inside.

"Just let me in and then drink this immediately, for fucks sake." Gemma adds, bringing Cassidy's eyes back up as she opens the door.

Gemma makes her way in and directly over to the sofa, instantly settling herself in as Cassidy takes a seat to the side of her.

"So, what's up?" She asks, taking a sip of beverage she has just been handed.

"I can't just visit my best friend?" Gemma replies.

Cassidy immediately lets out a laugh. Despite loving to spend as much time together as they can, and do, she knows her friend too well to ignore the expression all over her features.

"Not when your face looks like that!" Cassidy points out. Gemma opens her mouth in dramatic fashion, attempting to portray offense at Cassidy's assumption of ulterior motives.

"Fine. I heard that you're spending Mother's Day with me and Mum…" Gemma states. Cassidy subtly grumbles at Harry's sneaky plan to get her to celebrate the holiday. She definitely plans to give him a few words about inconveniencing his own family, just to get her out of the house. "I was hoping you could help me figure out what I can get for her."

"Shit." She responds, thankful that her daughter is currently at daycare and not within earshot of the curse words that just have, and will most likely continue, to be uttered during their conversation.

"Right? Why is she so difficult to buy for?" Gemma whines, pouting as if she were a toddler herself, again.

"She's just always so fucking generous that she never wants or asks for anything for herself."

The pair laugh at the notion of complaining about how selfless Anne is, though they love her for it. Cassidy likes to think that Cecelia's contentment for anything and everything she receives has come from the influence of that wonderful woman. Neither Anne nor Cecelia care too much about what they have or are doing, as long as it's with the people closest to them, which sparks a small idea.

"Why don't we treat her to a fancy afternoon tea time somewhere?" Cassidy perks up with excitement, one she can actually get on board with if the celebration must include herself. "She's always wanted to go to Claridge's, right?"

"Yes! That's perfect!" Gemma exclaims, pulling her phone out swiftly and bringing it in front of her. "I'm going to tell Harry so he can pitch in."

"You're making him contribute? He's not even here." Cassidy chuckles.

"So? She is his mum too… and I'm pretty sure his bank account can handle it."

Her statement is true, and Cassidy is once again reminded of just how big a star her friend Harry is. It boggles her mind that she grew up with him, that she actually grew up with the now famous Harry Styles, because she still doesn't really think of him that way unless and until it's brought to her attention in certain situations. But, she realizes that as his career continues growing, his celebrity status is a fact that is becoming more and more prominent to her.

Cassidy takes another sip of her coffee and a sudden knock at the door causes both of them to immediately snap their attention towards that direction.

"I have no idea who that could be…" She states, turning back to her friend as if Gemma would have more of a clue.

"So then answer the bloody door, CJ." Gemma chuckles, rolling her eyes as her thumbs type out a message on her phone.

She gets up, hastily making her way over, and opens the door to find a man standing in front of her with a decent sized box in his hands.

"Miss James? Miss Cassidy James?" The man asks, and as she looks over his attire, she notices that he doesn't appear as someone who usually makes deliveries.

"Umm… yes, that's me…" She responds timidly, only leaving the door open enough to view the stranger on the other side.

"Excellent. I have a package here for you from Mr. Styles." He explains, lifting the box in full view with a pleased smile on his face.

"I'm sorry, what?"

The man looks down to the object in his hands, glancing over the information typed out on the printed label.

"Mr. Styles asked me to deliver this to you as soon as it arrived." The man clears his throat, which causes Cassidy to shift in place. "He said that he didn't want just anyone to bring it to you and to personally make sure you received it."

Her mouth opens slightly but her brain seems to be unable to form words. Without her ability to function normally, she gives the man a simple nod to thank him, retrieving the box through the doorway.

"Have a good day, miss." He states, responding with his own nod and a smile as he walks away, and Cassidy closes the door behind him.

As she makes her way back to the sofa, her expression immediately turns into confusion, and her curiosity begins to heighten. She is completely unsure as to what Harry could have sent her way, especially considering he is held up in an entirely different country.

"What in the-?"

"Just open it! I want to know what's inside!" Gemma squeals, bouncing in her spot much like something Cecelia does quite often when she is excited.

"You don't know?"

A simple head shake from her friend gives her the boost of interest to grab the mysterious package and pull it into her lap.

She looks to the small table to the side of the couch, quickly finding a pair of scissors that are just sharp enough to cut the tape. A few snips and the box is free to reveal what's inside. Cassidy gives a quick look to her friend, finding comedy in the giddiness they both suddenly begin to feel.

She pries open the top, reaching in and pulling out a box of chocolates. It's not something that needed to be sent to her or delivered by a man in a nice coat, but nonetheless, she won't complain.

The sweets are set next to her as she brings her attention to something else she seems to have been gifted. As her eyes meet the item inside, shock takes over the function of her body, as well as inhibiting any words to leave her lips, yet again.

"Well…?" Gemma asks impatiently, leaning forward and peering to get a view for herself. "A phone? Why did he send you a phone?"

Cassidy's focus shoots over to a paper flush against the side and pulls it out to find a note from the man in question.

CHOCOLATES TO FIX THE ATTITUDE PROBLEM AND A NEW PHONE TO FIX THE CAMERA ISSUE.

- H

"I'm seriously going to kill him." She whispers to herself, not knowing if Gemma was aware of the sentence she just spoke.

"I agree with the attitude problem. You've been quite moody. I suppose that's understandable though." Gemma jokes, pushing her shoulder against Cassidy. "But what's wrong with your phone?"

She lifts herself enough to pull the device out of her pocket, handing it over as she continues to glance over the new one now in her hands, removing the plastic from the outside container.

"Yeah, this camera is done for." Gemma states, placing the broken phone into the box in replace of the updated version. "How did Harry know that you needed a new one?"

Cassidy suddenly feels a miniscule version of something she experienced a long time ago. Something she felt after both times that she and Harry had sex. Nerves. And a dose of guilt. Yet, it's a ridiculous thing to be feeling. This is not the same situation in the slightest. She and Harry are friends, and that's all. And what's more, Gemma knows they are friends. Unlike her lack of awareness of the other incidents. It has to be residual effects from the past, because there is absolutely nothing for her to be worried about.

"We were on a video call when it happened." She replies, finally taking her eyes from her gift and landing them on her best friend, being met with a mildly inquisitive, raised brow.

"Oh, okay." Gemma plainly responds, her simple answer reassuring Cassidy.

"Yeah, me and Cece. I hurt my foot and dropped my phone." She shakes her head in remembrance of the event that felt so tragic when she was in the middle of it. "I told him I couldn't get a new one yet. Apparently he took it upon himself to do just that."

"He's that kind of guy." Her friend explains with a shrug, as if it's something Cassidy should automatically know. But then again, that's all she has been experiencing from him since their friendship started, so she truthfully shouldn't be surprised.

"He didn't need to do this." She utters, still having the instinct to turn down the kind gesture.

"He knows that. But it's not going to stop him. He takes care of his friends and family."

"I'm becoming very aware of that fact." Cassidy exhales with a single, subtle sound of a laugh.

"I'm just glad you two are finally getting along."

The surprise of the comment causes Cassidy's heart to stop along with her breath.

"What?"

Gemma turns her body towards her, rolling her eyes at the question she was just asked, as if the answer should be obvious.

"You two were insufferable around each other when we were kids."

"Well, I mean, he-"

"Oh, don't get me wrong, Harry was definitely a major pest, still is at times to be honest. But, come on, you were exactly the nicest to him either." Gemma explains, and Cassidy can all but keep from readjusting in her seat. "I guess I just thought you both would grow up and grow out of it, and end up… ummm, you know, being friends. Eventually. Or at least not hating each other!"

Flashbacks flood Cassidy's mind as she remembers back to their childhood. Not once did she think that her friend felt anything but the same annoyance that she herself felt.

"Shit. I'm sorry, Gem."

Her friend raises a hand to wave off the apology, as if it wasn't needed, though Cassidy feels otherwise.

"Yeah, well. It was only torture for me, for about twenty years…" She thankfully giggles, helping Cassidy's sudden guilt to lessen in intensity. "So just stay friends for an equal amount of time, at least, and we will call it even."

The thought of being Harry's friend for that long causes Cassidy's stomach to tighten and her lungs to inhale a deep breath. It's a reaction she wasn't prepared for, and one that's indiscernible at the moment. Although, she can acknowledge that it isn't of a negative nature.

"Be around Harry for that long?" She smirks, looking back down to the new phone just gifted to her by the man himself. "I can't make any promises. I already want to clobber him for this!"

•••

The bouncing of her leg does not help the impatience she feels as she waits for the call to be answered from the other end. She double checks the time, hoping that her calculations are correct, and that she can catch Harry as his morning begins.

Suddenly, the ringtone from the video call disappears and her gaze is met by a tousle-haired Harry.

"Oh my god. Did I wake you up?" She immediately questions, her heart racing with worry that she may have disrupted his sleep.

"No. Not at all." He chuckles, a coffee mug being brought up to his lips, covering up the small smile that has appeared at her exasperated question. "And good morning…"

"Good morning." She replies with a sigh of relief, and she notices the smile still stuck on his face when it is revealed to her again. "Umm… I wanted to give you a quick ring to thank you."

"No problem." He quickly states, with a raise of his eyebrow immediately following his words. "Wait, thank me for what?"

Cassidy can't tell if he truly doesn't understand what she is referring to, or if he is arrogantly playing dumb to get her to elaborate, but either way she feels a mild sense of embarrassment creep out onto her cheeks.

"For the chocolates, of course." She jokes, holding up the box that already has half of it's contents consumed. "But mostly for the phone. Harry, you-"

"I'm going to stop you right there." He interrupts, sternly but somehow also sweetly.

"Right. I know. You like doing things for your friends. But come on, Harry. This is not the same as just cooking dinner for us…"

"You needed a new phone, Cass." He states, with a sincere yet still stern tone. "How else was I going to talk to Cece?"

"It was only that back camera that was broken."

"Not just that. Your phone was like one thousand years old. You needed an upgrade." He exclaims with a smirk.

"Coming from the guy who doesn't even use emojis." She jokingly scoffs, drawing out a loud laugh from the man on the other side of her screen.

"Fair enough." He simply replies, being followed by a poking out of his tongue. "Does it work, though? Do you like it?"

Cassidy blinks her eyes as if in disbelief at herself, truly realizing that she has only questioned his generosity, despite ringing to express her gratitude. But also disbelief due to his apparent insecurity about the gesture. Not only does he want to do this for her, but he also wants to make sure she's happy with it, and it's fully taken care of.

"It's great, Harry. Truly. Thank you so much." She responds, a warmth traveling up her neck. "The camera on this one is really good! I've taken so many photos of Cece already!"

Harry's expression brightens at her answer and the heat creeps further up to her face. It's the fact that he helped her, and her thankfulness, that are creating this reaction. As much as she's working on accepting all of this, it's still all new to them.

"You'll have to send me some." He mutters.

"Sure."

A silence falls upon them for a moment, a bit of flickering of their gazes from each person.

"So… do you have anything planned for the day?" Cassidy asks.

She notices him play with his bottom lip, and a more serious expression rapidly displaying across his face.

"Harry…?"

"Umm… yeah, I've got a meeting." He quietly states, and Cassidy senses a sadness in his tone. "Bit worried that I won't be able to tour this year…"

"Oh shit." Cassidy instantly feels her heart hurt for him. She's always known how much he loves that part of his job, and to potentially not be able to do it must be painting him more than he is showing. "I'm so sorry. I know how much touring means to you."

"It's not-..." He sighs, his fingers combing through his hair more than once. "It's not even about me. It's all the people who buy tickets… and flights… and hotel rooms to come see me. It's not fair to them."

Cassidy stays silent as she watches his gaze drop down in a preemptive defeat. She knows there is nothing she can really say to ease his worries. But he's there for her, and she'll be there for him. And if that means sitting in silence on the other end of a video call, that's what she will do. She'll be there for her friend.

•••

She doesn't know if she's ever been more grateful to have a new phone. With the new nationwide, and seemingly worldwide, lockdowns now in place due to the coronavirus, Cassidy has never felt more alone. Besides Cecelia, but there's only so much she can talk about with a 3 year old.

Needless to say, she has already used her phone more than ever before, especially for video chats with her friends. Particularly Harry. Because it seems that not even miles of separation nor a pandemic can break the bond he and Cecelia share.

"I wan' say g'night to Harry…" Cecelia pouts, as she nuzzles into her bed and under her quilt. Her little hands lift up to rub her eyes, deceitfully reassuring Cassidy of her daughter's need for slumber.

"I know, Bug. But it's very late at night for him. He's sleeping."

"M'kay…" The little girl mumbles, the sadness so evident in her tone that it tugs at her mother's heart.

"How about we send him a message, yeah? So he can wake up to it in the morning."

Cecelia's eyes light up as much as possible with the heaviness of the day, and Cassidy props herself up against the headboard.

🗨️ Cassidy: sorry about this being so late… cece wanted to ring you before bed but i told her we would message you to say goodnight… so, goodnight from cece.

"Okay. I told him." Cassidy simply states, locking her screen as she looks down to her daughter, stroking the girl's long locks.

"I miss Harry."

Cassidy's eyes instantly widen at Cecelia's words. She knows the bond they have, but it still manages to catch her off guard at random moments. Not in a negative way, just in how tight that bond is.

"I know you do. He's your friend." Cassidy replies.

"He's my best friend!" She explains, even with her sweetly sleepy voice. "Well, you first. And Emily at school. Harry is after. But… don' say dat part!"

Cassidy can't help but chuckle.

"Okay." She smiles, giving Cecelia one final kiss on her forehead and moving towards the bedroom door. "I won't. Goodnight Bug."

"G'night Mummy. Love you." A little, relaxed sigh leaves her lips.

"I love you, too."

Cassidy closes the door and makes her way back to the living room. She plops down and grabs the remote, letting her body sink into the couch cushions. She smiles as a thought crosses her mind. Despite the horrible things happening in the world, and the chaos that quarantine creates, she still has things to be thankful for. Things that aren't seeming to be affected by any of that negativity. Those things bring her comfort, which is more than welcome these days.

•••

With the sound from a rerun of 'The Great British Bake-off' playing in the background, Cassidy scrolls mindlessly on her phone, attempting to wind down from the day. A sudden buzz causes the device to drop into her lap from surprise, and as she picks it up, she is even more shocked to see that the vibrations are due to a phone call from Harry.

"Good morning!" He states as soon as she answers, not even waiting for her to speak. "Oh. Wait… guess it should be more of a 'good evening' greeting for you…"

"Yes." She quickly pulls the phone back from her ear and checks the time. "It's 9pm here.

"Shit. I'm sorry. Were you asleep?" He asks, his voice going quiet, as if he isn't thousands of miles away in a different country.

"No, no. Just watching the telly." She replies, swearing she can hear his relieved exhale on the other end of the line. "What time is it there?"

"Umm… let me see… it's 5 in the morning."

"Since when do you get up that early?" Cassidy laughs, covering her mouth immediately in hopes that she didn't wake Cecelia. She skipped her nap and really needs her sleep.

There's a pause in the conversation, and Cassidy looks at her screen once again, checking if the call has disconnected, only to find that he is still on the line.

"I haven't been sleeping the best, to be honest. Lockdown has that all out of whack." He mumbles, and it squeezes her chest tight. Everyone has been out of sorts these days. Quarantine is hard on each person in their own way.

"Hey, it's your X-Factor audition anniversary today, isn't it?" She asks, hoping to take him out of the negativity she can tell that he is sitting in. Maybe a good memory will do the trick.

"Umm... yes, it is... how do you remember that?"

Cassidy unintentionally lets out another loud laugh, bending over at her waist at the amount of comedy behind Harry's question, and the certainty of her impending answer.

"Are you joking?" She asks, doing her best to regain control of her breathing, and stay quiet for the sleeping toddler in the other room. "I think that date is ingrained in my brain forever! You wouldn't shut up about it after Anne signed you up!"

[ flashback - March 2010 ]

For the past several years of her childhood, Cassidy has been subjected to Harry's increasing levels of annoyingness. However, today she feels as if he may have reached his peak.

If she hadn't already heard the news from Gemma herself, it wouldn't have taken long for the information of Harry's upcoming X-Factor audition to be brought to her attention. It felt as if the entire school knew within a matter of minutes.

"Hey, Cass!" Harry shouts out from behind her, causing her to internally cringe at the sound of her name coming from his mouth. It can't mean anything good, at least not for her. It never does.

She stops in her tracks and twists around to find the young lad jogging up to her with a wide grin stretching across his face.

"Did you hear?"

"Hear what?" She asks, playing dumb, though quickly realizing it just creates the opportunity for him to brag, and she internally scolds herself.

"I'm gonna be famous!" He exclaims, and the arrogant statement causes Cassidy to unintentionally scoff. "Hey…"

"You don't even know if you'll be on camera." She replies, knowing full well that the crew will inevitably be drawn to his irritating charm that everyone seems to fall for.

"So you did hear…" His grin widens. "I don't care. I get to sing!"

"You sing all the bloody time!" She reminds him.

"Right. Exactly. People seem to like it. So, I want to see if the judges do too."

"I don't like your singing." She blurts out, not meaning to let her annoyance with him get the best of her and her words. Especially considering the statement wasn't exactly true, though she'd never openly admit that to him.

"That's rubbish… you sing along any time White Eskimo plays..."

"That's because I like the actual songs."

"You can come along… if you want…"

"What?"

"To my audition. You can come along if you want. Robin, Mum, and Gemma will be there."

Cassidy opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. Is he really inviting her? There's absolutely no reason for her to go, and definitely no reason for him to want her there. Unless it's to feed his growing ego. Maybe even use it as a way to 'prove' to his schoolmates that she 'loves' him, like he continues to lie about. The realization hits and manifests into a strong furrow of her brow.

"March 27th? I think I'll be busy that day."

"Marked it on your calendar already, did you?" His arrogant smirk immediately pulls his left dimple inward. "Might be the last time you get to see me…"

Cassidy cannot help the rolling of her eyes, even if the idea is quite shocking to think about. As her gaze focuses back on him, and sees his smug face, her desire to sass him back quickly reappears.

"Don't get my hopes up Harry."

[ present - March 2020 ]

"Hey, I was excited!" Harry exclaims, almost as if to verbally pout, as Cassidy chuckles at the memory.

"But I'm pretty sure you weren't supposed to tell anyone at that point. At least not the whole town!" Cassidy pulls her lips inward to hold back another loud laugh threatening to push out.

"I didn't ring you to be teased." He responds, a clear lightness to his tone.

"You should know better by now…" She teases again. "Why did you ring then?"

"I was told someone wanted to talk to me. But… I didn't realize what time it was for you."

Cassidy feels a little smile form with her mouth at the fact that he is so thoughtful to call Cecelia back, yet missing the slightly important detail of what time it is on the other side of the world.

"She just wanted to say goodnight to you."

"I miss that little one." He confesses, and she feels a warmth build up inside her chest. "I miss both of you, I suppose. When you aren't being a bully."

"First off…" Cassidy begins, letting out an amused exhale. "No, that's fair… but you're not missing anything. It's only been a couple of days since we've all talked."

"I'm aware. But I enjoy our chats. They're keeping me sane." Harry replies, and she can practically feel the sincerity to his statement.

"You don't feel sane?" She asks with a small laugh, though genuinely understanding his meaning.

"I just miss everyone. I miss home. Feels a bit lonely over here."

"Aren't you living with a bunch of people right now?"

"That's… yes. But that's not what I mean." He sighs, and she can hear a mild pain in his exhale. "Los Angeles isn't home. Not truly."

"Right. It will be nice to have you around again." Cassidy admits, sensing the mild desire to have had this be a video call, for the sake of displaying a reassuring expression to ease him.

"Did I just hear that correctly? You actually like having me around?"

"Shut up, you twit." Cassidy scolds with a chuckle. "But, it's honestly not the same without you here."

There's a silence that falls between, and Cassidy feels that light comfortability she is becoming accustomed to feeling when she dwells on the good things she still has to keep her going. These talks, and this friendship with Harry, are definitely one of them.

Her attention turns back to him as she hears the clearing of his throat, and she reverts back to being grateful that this call is not a video, as she senses a pink hue rushing to her cheeks.

"I just think that, when I'm finally home in London again, it'll feel like things are getting back to normal."

•••

[ present - June 2020 ]

As nice as it's been to work completely from home for the past few months, and spend more quality time with Cecelia, there is only a certain amount of sanity that someone can maintain while quarantining in general, let alone with an energetic toddler. So, Cassidy jumped at the chance to accept Anne's invite to her home, especially giving her daughter some freedom to go off and play while she chats face to face with another adult.

However, as she sits across from the woman who basically helped raise her, she can sense an awkward nervousness coming from Anne as she strums her fingers on the tea cup.

"I'm still sorry about Mother's Day being canceled." Anne expresses, slightly throwing Cassidy off that her anxiousness seems to be based off of the uncontrollable situation.

"It's not your fault. We went into lockdown!" She giggles, hoping her easy going demeanor helps to ease the unnecessary guilt Anne seems to be feeling.

"I know. It just would've been nice to have one last outing before everything shut down." Anne smiles, small but sweet.

Cassidy stays silent, gazing down to her beverage, the two seemingly understanding the nonverbal agreement. It hasn't been easy, for anyone, despite the rules of lockdown beginning to ease up. She's never been more grateful for open coffee shops and food delivery services, even if masks are required.

"Have you been out much now that we can, you know, go out a bit?" Anne asks.

Cassidy shakes her head slightly and she swallows her sip of tea.

"Haven't had much of a reason to go anywhere, besides the shops, for groceries."

"Oh." Cassidy hears the short reply.

As her eyes gaze back up to Anne, she is met with an unexpected expression, though one she had just been witnessing. The anxiousness has returned, or is still there, she isn't sure which one.

"Is… is there something else bothering you?"

"No, no. Not bothering…"

"But there is something." Cassidy replies, her eyebrow raising immediately.

"Well… it's just that, if you did want a reason to go out… there's this very nice guy, the son of a friend I have, and I thought-"

"Oh, so this was an ambush!" Cassidy states with amusement, but also a little frustration. She knows Anne means well, but she isn't even sure if she's ready for anything like a set up, and certainly wasn't expecting it to come from Anne.

"No, darling! No. I just… you're just a wonderful girl. And from what I know, he seems like a good guy. I just thought you two would have a nice time together…"

"I just don't know if I'm ready to date." Cassidy replies, the truth to her answer apparent to her in the way the thought of such a thing chaotically swirls around in her mind.

"Not ready? I can't even remember the last time you went on one! You definitely haven't since Cece was born!" Anne exclaims, snapping her mouth shut once the words come out, her features filled with regret. "I'm sorry. It's not my place."

"It's okay, Anne." Cassidy places her own hand over Anne's, waiting until their gazes meet.

"I just want you to be happy, CJ."

"I am happy." She reassures her.

"But you deserve to be loved. You deserve someone who absolutely adores you. Who, umm, who thinks the world of you, and never stops feeling that way. Who loves you through anything and everything life has and will put you through."

"Well, I have Cece…" Cassidy giggles, trying to divert the conversation to a more comfortable topic of discussion.

"You deserve someone who will love you both that way." Anne states, and Cassidy can see the emotion manifesting itself as tears form in the corners of her eyes. "I'm surprised you're still single, to be honest. But, if nobody… has tried… that's their loss. It's not as though you need it. A woman doesn't have to have a man to be happy. But, darling, you both deserve all the love in the world."

Anne's beautiful words and pure-hearted expression cause Cassidy's heart to melt. There isn't a sneaky or malicious bone in that woman's body, and she knows Anne is only doing it out of genuine love of her own.

"It doesn't have to be a commitment. Just a date. Or even just a… hang out of sorts." Anne adds, and Cassidy realizes she doesn't think she can reject Anne's offer. Or suggestion. Or whatever it is. She sighs, partially from gratitude but also defeat, and squeezes the hand she's holding.

"Alright." She agrees, watching as Anne tries to hide the way her face wants to light up.

"Alright?"

"I'll meet him." She concedes, every fiber of her body pricked with anxiety.

"Are you sure?" Anne asks, suddenly displaying more timidity than moments before.

Cassidy nods, mostly out of instinct. Anne has the best intentions, but bringing a guy into her life is not as simple as a casual 'hang out'. She has Cecelia. Not every man is open to being in a relationship with someone who already has a child. And Cassidy is more than a little cautious about who she brings into their dynamic. However, she knows that Anne is onto something. Even though she is perfectly content with it being her and Cecelia together, she can admit to herself that having someone else join their little unit wouldn't be the worst thing ever. As long as it's the right person. And she can't know if someone is the right person unless she gets to know them. So she might as well start somewhere, with someone. And if Anne knows this man, that's certainly not a bad place to begin.

•••

Derek is nice.

As planned by Anne, he and Cassidy first met up outside a small cafe, taking caution by social distancing from others, and enjoying the company together outdoors.

He is nice. Smart, successful, good looking, and seemingly uncomplicated.

The last part could be most important, considering that, as a single mother, her life can be the opposite at times.

Though, he seems to be very fond of her. He immediately made his intentions known that he won't see anyone else while they get to know each other. Again, uncomplicated. And any free moment she has, he wants to spend with her.

Which is why they are walking down the corridor to her flat, after he treated her to a very posh picnic in the park.

He guides her to the front door, a warm and strong palm placed on the small of her back, and stops behind her as they reach it.

She spins around, causing his hand to glide to her hip, and she swallows the lump in the throat that developed from the motion. It's been quite a long time since she's been touched like that, in that way.

"Thank you for today." She states quietly, some nerves seemingly getting the best of her.

"I'd like to do something with you tomorrow." He replies, a subtle squeeze of her hip accompanying his statement.

"Oh. I… I have some work to do, unfortunately." Her gaze drops out of unexpected shyness. It's not a lie, she does need to complete a few things, but she always finds herself in a daze after being with him. Dating feels new to her, all over again, and she always feels as if she needs to process their time together. Process the feelings.

His disappointed sigh is halted as the sound of the elevator rings out. They both turn their heads to see the doors open, and watch as Harry walks through them, his head down and his hands behind his back.

His pace slows as he gets halfway down, gazing up to meet the eyes of Cassidy, then shooting them over to the man beside her.

She looks over to Derek, whose expression matches that of her friend's.

"Harry? Harry Styles?"

"Yes…" Harry answers with hesitancy, and Cassidy concludes that he may be nervous about an awkward interaction with a fan.

"It's Derek. Derek Mills." He exclaims, raising his hand to his chest as if to provide visual proof of who he is. As if his identity should be obvious to the other man. "Holmes Chapel Comprehensive!"

Cassidy watches as Harry's eyes widen, flickering between her and the man he has now, apparently, been reintroduced to.

"Derek. Right. How's it going mate?" He asks, giving a blank stare and similarly neutral tone.

"It's going well. Yeah, I'm doing really, really well." Derek replies, giving a smile as his gaze moves to Cassidy before returning to her friend. Potentially his own old friend, though she can't quite be sure.

"Wonderful." Harry states, providing no emotion in his statement. He looks down to his hands after bringing them in front of him, showcasing a beautiful arrangement of flowers that she had somehow missed when the interaction began.

"I didn't realize you two knew each other. Especially considering, you know…" Derek points in Harry's direction. "He's famous."

"Oh, well-"

"We're good friends." Harry interjects. "We've known each other since we were kids."

An uncomfortable silence falls between the three of them, with only the jingling of Cassidy's keys sounding down the corridor.

"Those are nice." Derek states plainly, pointing to the bouquet, matching the tone he has been receiving thus far.

"Oh, right. I, umm, brought these over… for Cece." Harry replies, now keeping his gaze fixated on Cassidy. "Can I give them-"

"Oh." She responds quietly, suddenly feeling a tidal wave of tension filing the space around her. "She's having a little afternoon nap."

"Of course." Harry nods, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I should've remembered it was her nap time. I'm sorry."

"That's okay!" She instantly responds. She waves her finger between herself and the other man beside her. "We were just… saying goodbye. So I can take them inside."

She turns to Derek, being met with pure confusion. Not that it wasn't clear he wasn't being invited inside. That's something Cassidy put a boundary on as soon as he asked to see her again after that first date. So the confusion is most likely regarding this uncomfortable interaction between the three of them.

He gives Cassidy a nod and a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Message me tonight." He states, turning away from her and moving closer to Harry. "Nice to see you again, Harry."

"You too." He utters in reply, not giving the man much acknowledgement as he walks closer to Cassidy, and Derek walks further away.

Harry looks back at the now empty hall, and turns around to meet her stare.

"I didn't know you were… dating anyone…" He states softly, with a familiar timidity that she hasn't heard in a while.

"We've been on a few dates. Nothing too serious right now." She shrugs, rummaging through the bag she has hanging from her shoulder.

"Right. Well, that's… nice..."

"What's with the tone?" She asks, a sternness beginning to attach to her own tone. What reason can he have to be snarky with her?

"I'm a bit surprised that you didn't tell me about this."

As much as Cassidy was just questioning his current, negative demeanor, she didn't expect a real answer. Certainly not that answer.

"I didn't realize it's something you would even want to know…"

"I'm your friend! Of course I want-... I mean… we talked a lot while I was away. Seems like this would be something that came up in conversation…"

She studies his face, watching with uncertainty as he expresses the same sentiment.

"Your mum only introduced us a couple of weeks ago and-"

"My mum set this up?" Harry's eyes widen, just enough for Cassidy to pick up on the movement of his features.

"Yeah…" She replies, still sensing a sliver of the snarky tone he had used moments before. "She thinks I'm not happy. Or… wants me to be happier, at least. She wants me to have more love in my life."

"Love?" Harry immediately straightens his posture and his eyes widen with, what looks like, a curious shock.

"Well, god, one step at a time please…"

"So, do you like him?" He utters, a volume that almost caused Cassidy to miss his question.

"I suppose so." She shrugs. Her answer would truthfully be that she does, but that suddenly feels as if it would be a troublesome response to give at this moment.

"You suppose so?"

"He's a nice guy."

"Did you even know him in school?" He asks, passive aggressively at best.

"No… he was in the year ahead of mine. What's that got to do with-"

"I just don't remember him being a nice guy."

"In school? Harry, that was ages ago." She chuckles, trying to ignore the once familiar frustration making itself known. "I don't particularly remember you being at your best back then either."

"Yes, but that's-... it's just that, I-" He stutters, swallowing harshly and running his fingers through his hair as he clears his throat. "You're right. I wasn't."

"And look at you now. Bloody hell, look at us both now! I hang out with the biggest pop star in the world!" Cassidy exclaims, delighting in the comedic truth to the statement, even if it's not the real heart of their reconciliation. "But, moreso, I'm your friend. We are friends. People change, Harry."

"True." He utters in response. "I just… I'm looking out for you."

"I appreciate it. But you don't need to worry about me, I can handle myself." She smiles, standing up straighter to further display her confidence. "I'd like to think I have a good judge of character."

Harry opens his mouth, but quickly closes it, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

"So… did you only come over to bring Cece some flowers?" Cassidy gives a small smile, still feeling an odd, mild tension in the air, but hoping the change of subject eases it away.

"Well, no. Since I just got back into town, I was going to invite you both over to my place." He returns her smile with one of his own, but the attempt still doesn't give her the reassurance she needs. "But since Cece's asleep, maybe another day then."

"Sure! Tomorrow?"

He hands over the bouquet and brings one hand up to fiddle with his lower lip, crossing the other around his waist, and furrowing his brow in thought.

"Yes. Tomorrow afternoon will work just fine."

Harry gives her a slight nod, along with a matching smile, and turns back to walk down the corridor. Cassidy watches as he gets back on the lift, his expression still seeming to be one of deep concentration on whatever his mind is dwelling on, and she begins to feel an uneasiness in her chest that she wasn't expecting to materialize between the two of them.

[ flashback - July 2014 ]

Dragged to yet another One Direction concert in London. That's where Cassidy finds herself with Gemma. It's annoying, at this point, that she so easily caves to her best friend's request of joining her, when she never wants to attend any of their shows. Not fully anyway.

And this time is worse, because Gemma managed to convince Cassidy to hang out backstage before the show, rather than after when she can use exhaustion as an excuse to get out of there quickly.

"So, what's new?" Niall asks her, scooting closer to her as they both lean against one of the dressing room walls.

"Not much really." She shrugs, considering the fact that her life is nowhere near as exciting as the one they lead.

"She's being modest." She hears coming from her right, feeling her friend nudge her with an elbow as Gemma walks up beside her. "She's finishing up at uni and then doing an internship for a place in Manchester!"

"That's amazing, Cassidy!" Niall exclaims, giving her a cheeky wink.

She simply shrugs, still highly aware of the company this news is being given to, knowing that this megastar's reaction is out of politeness.

"And she started seeing someone…" Gemma adds, causing Cassidy to shoot a strong, scolding glare in that direction.

"You're dating? Who are you dating?" A voice asks, and Cassidy turns her gaze to see Harry walking over from the other side of Niall, leaning one shoulder against the wall with his arms crossed over his body.

Who does he think he is to assume he has the right to even know the details of the new relationship she is in?

"You don't know him." She growls through her teeth.

"I might…"

"You don't."

She watches Harry look over to his sister, and out of the corner of her eye, sees the confirmation Gemma gives him. As if Cassidy's answer wasn't enough, or wasn't the truth. As if he knew better than to take her word for it. That arrogant prick.

"Does he know you know me?" His annoyingly famous smirk immediately appears after his words come out.

"Why would I tell him that?"

"Just don't want him to get jealous." He states, tapping Niall on the shoulder, obviously looking for someone to agree with his comedic statement, but only, and thankfully for Cassidy, receiving a shake of Niall's head.

"There's nothing to be jealous of."

[ present - June 2020 ]

The sound of chopping can instantly be heard as Cassidy and Cecelia enter through the front doors to Harry's house.

"In here!" They hear coming from the kitchen, and as they turn the corner, Cassidy is met with the view of Harry busying himself around the room.

"Can I go ou'side?" Cecelia asks, looking between her mother and their host.

"Of course!" Harry immediately exclaims, not bothering to check with Cassidy, even though her answer would be the same. She smiles at the comfort and normality of it all now, and realizes that it may never cease to cause her heart to fill up with so many good feelings. Happiness qand gratitude being the main emotions. "I could use your help picking some pretty flowers to put on the center of my dining table…"

The little girl's eyes light up, nodding at the suggestion and skipping her way outside.

"What have you got going on over here?" Cassidy asks as she turns back to Harry and moves into the kitchen, finding different foods sprawled out across the counter.

"Just… a small charcuterie selection…" He replies, laying cheese slices on the middle of the board.

"You didn't hav-... it looks delicious, Harry!" She states. Clearly she is still learning to accept his generous gestures, though that is one thing she may never get used to. She has spent so many years having to do anything and everything herself, that it is still doesn't feel entirely normal for her to have someone else do something for her.

"I have some wine over there if you'd like to pour yourself a glass." He gestures behind him, not taking his focus away from the food in front of him.

Cassidy walks over to the opposite counter of where he stands, picking up the one bottle he has pulled from his collection, and reading over the very intricate label.

"Are you sure you want to open this one? It looks pretty fancy."

"It's just a bottle of red wine, Cass."

"It's a 1982. That's older than me! And it says 'rouge'… I consider that pretty fancy. But then again, I'm not the famous Harry Styles. I usually just go for the cheap Zinfandel or a pink Moscato." Cassidy giggles, looking up from the bottle in her hand to find Harry lacking the amusement that she herself is finding in her statement.

"Oh I'm aware." He replies, rolling his eyes in a very sarcastic nature.

"But maybe this pinot will wash away your 'grumpy old man' mood…"

Harry's gaze shoots up from his task, displaying wide eyes, as if he hadn't been clueless of his previous, serious expression, or the sourness in his tone. Although, she is almost positive that he knows.

"What?"

Cassidy scoffs out a laugh and shakes her head, choosing to move past his clear pout over her beverage commentary.

"Nothing. I just think you should save this one for another time. A better occasion."

He shrugs. Simply shrugs, and arranges the final few strawberries with the other fruits, as Cassidy finds a less extravagant wine for the both of them to consume. One that is more relatable to her more normal lifestyle.

"Shall we?" He asks, nodding in the direction of beautiful back doors, leading out to an even more beautiful backyard.

Cassidy grabs the glasses and they exit, each finding a comfortable spot on his patio furniture, both close enough to the outside table and within reach of the lovely food spread he has created.

"So, catch me up. What's… what's new in your life?" Harry asks, taking his glass and then a sip of wine, seemingly hiding his expectant expression, though failing to keep it from Cassidy.

"Well, considering we saw each other yesterday…" She giggles mildy. "Nothing."

"Right." He scoffs within a chuckle of his own. "But it wasn't much of a conversation, and I have been away…"

"We also talked multiple times a week, you pest. Besides not actually being around, and considering we couldn't do much anyway, you didn't miss anything."

"Don't know, it feels like I did." He mumbles. "With… with everyone."

Her gaze flickers over to him, noticing the way he has begun to run his teeth along his bottom lip, staring out to the backyard view.

"I bet it feels good to finally be back home then, yeah?"

"It does. Yes." He utters in response, a quietness that feels a little surprising to Cassidy, considering how desperate he seemed to leave Los Angeles and return to London. "I won't be able to settle in too much though."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm… I'm actually headed to Italy soon."

"That sounds amazing! How soon?"

"Umm…" He runs his fingers through his hair and his gaze drops as he swirls the beverage around in his glass. "I'm leaving next week."

"Next week?" She exclaims, turning to face him completely. "Wow. I feel like you just got back home."

"I know." He softly states, giving nothing more than that simple response.

"What are you going for?" She feels her brow furrow slightly, the expression caused by the confusion she feels throughout herself. However, she lightens her features, even if just to ease her own mind. "Finding even more pretentious wine?"

"Of course." He replies with a simple smile, very unlike his usual grin, or smirk. "And, umm, I guess to also figure out what I want to do next. Maybe write a song or two, if inspiration strikes."

"And you can't do that here? At home?"

"I need a clear head. Free from distractions."

The confusion grows and a worry begins to build alongside it, though she isn't quite sure why. He's a grown man. He can do whatever and go wherever he wants to, it doesn't affect or involve her in any way. Except that, to an extent, it does.

She looks over to Cecelia, who is completely comfortable at Harry's home, and completely content digging around in the garden outside.

Her gaze quickly shoots down to her fingers as they begin to fidget with the stem of her wine glass, then slowly moves back over to him.

A realization falls over her. She's a bit sad. For Cecelia, who just got her best friend back, but also for herself. She just got her friend back too. Her other best friend. Now he's headed off again, and another realization hits her. Their lives are so different. As much as she sees him as the Harry she knew as a kid, he is not just that. And for the first time since they became friends, she worries that it could change things. Change what they now have.

"Right." She utters, still caught up in her thoughts. "Free from distractions."

Series Masterlist

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[stellarboystyles]

hiiii hope you’re well! Will we ever get a part 2 to right where you left me?? That cliffhanger gets me on edge every time I re read it lol

Harry's never endured a more torturously long trip inside a vehicle quite like this ambulance ride. The hospital was 5 bloody minutes out and it felt like fifty, clutching his wife's hand like it was the last time he ever could where she was clutching back. He'll never forget the look in her eyes that night.

"I don't wanna die."

Her cries crushed his soul. The look on her face and the quivering in her voice was enough send him into a coma. We're talking about the girl that Harry knew he was going to marry by the middle of their second date.

"M'gonna marry you."

Nora hides a giggle behind the wine glass in her hand.

"You're drunk."

When people ask Harry when he knew she was the one, he tells this story every time.

Seeing this gorgeous girl—who's warm and kind and...real, tipsy off some cheap wine and giggling at his jokes that he knows aren't really that funny at all—was unbelievable to him.

"M'not drunk, m'serious." Harry scoffs playfully, waving his hand dismissively. "And maybe a little drunk, but that's not even relevant."

"Mhm." she nods, trying to stifle another laugh. "We'll see if your mind changes in the morning."

The eye contact between the two of them never stifled, a defining moment for Nora and Harry. It was a scene out of a Netflix original. John B and Sarah Cameron level shit.

"It won't."

The girl he used to take on secret sushi dates away from any cameras.

“I’ve never met someone who likes poke as much as I do.”

“My mom grew up in China, so this is what I grew up eating.” She laughs.

“I thought sushi was from Japan?”

Nora giggles, giving Harry the impression that he just fucked up royally.

“M’sorry—”

“Harry, didn’t you know that sushi actually originated in China?”

“I—I didn’t.”

“No one really does.” she giggles. “It’s ok.”

“See, when we get married,” she starts, making Harry nearly choke on his water as she’s nonchalantly picking up another sashimi with her chopsticks. “I can make you any kind of sushi you want, like a pro.”

He’s in awe of her. Her charm and her wit, it’s something you can’t fake and he can’t stop smiling.

“Mm, can’t wait.”

The girl that said “okay?!” when he proposed.

The girl that pulled all the strings to make his birthday special during quarantine.

The girl who went to every show of his that she could to support him.

The girl that makes him homemade gifts because she knows they mean more to him that some $11k pair of Gucci boots.

That girl. His forever. His baby. The one he could never live without, even if he tried.

“We’re going to Trauma One.”

“Page OB.”

“Can we get Respiratory in here, please?!”

Harry waits in the waiting room for an eternity. He’s either sitting down in one of the chairs bouncing his leg or pacing back and forth to pass the time. Finally, the door from the waiting room to the ER buzzes open and Harry pushes himself out of the chair to meet the nurse that’s walking out. He knows she’s out here for him, the hospital was a ghost town tonight. No one in the waiting room but him.

“Are you husband?”

“Yes.” He nods.

“What’s her name and birthday?”

“Nora Styles, 1/16/97.”

“Alright, she's up in OB now, 3rd floor. I'll walk you up.”

He’s walking with the nurse as she begins filling him in.

“She's stable now, mum and baby's oxygen levels and heart rate are normal, but her blood pressure is very high, too high for us to be comfortable with letting this go, so the doctor will probably want an emergency c-section.”

The nurse took notice of the worry on Harry's face and attempted to put him at ease.

"It sounds scary, but their number one priority is a healthy and happy mom and baby. And in this case that means getting your baby out as soon as possible."

They reach the unit doors, and she buzzes him in.

"She's in 14B, just down that hall and her room is on the left."

Harry thanks her again and hurries down the hall. His nerves spike approaching the door.

He was almost afraid to see her. He'll never get that image out of his head. Her laying on the fucking pavement, all bloodied and bruised. Probably a scene that could haunt him forever.

“Love?”

Slowly walking in, he sees his wife asleep on the bed. Her arm is bruised pretty badly, marked with purplish blue bruises on her hand.

“Oh, babe.”

He sits down in the chair next to her, and takes her hand in his.

“You’re gonna be okay.” He whispers, kissing her hand before the tears start rolling.

“I love you so much.”

He’s choking back cries, and tilts his head towards the ceiling.

“Don’t let her fucking die, please.”

to be continued

[notoriousbeb]

The My Tears Ricochet Deep Dive

While this song obviously has a clear reference to Taylor’s masters being sold to Scooter Braun in November 2019, I don’t think that’s the full story being told here.

When she released Folklore, Taylor shared via Instagram that “My Tears Ricochet” is about an “embittered tormentor showing up at the funeral of his fallen object of obsession.”

Now, why is she fallen? Because her work has been taken from her. Okay, one question answered. ✅

Now, who is the “embittered tormentor obsessed” with Taylor? Scooter Braun, of course…But see, I actually don’t think it’s that simple. I get why that’s the obvious first choice, though.

(Back story for new kids who don’t know why Scoots is trash: In July 2016, Taylor was outcast and called a snake due to a leaked phone call by Kim Kardashian and her then-husband Kanye West. Scooter was Kanye’s manager. Then Kanye put out the video of the song in question from the call—featuring a naked Taylor lookalike. Then Justin Bieber posted that video to Instagram with a photo showing him on a video call with Scooter and Kanye. The caption said, “Taylor Swift what up.” So, they’re all three supreme douche-canoes of the highest order).

However, I think Scooter’s top priority (as always) in buying Taylor’s masters was simply to make money. And if he pissed her off while doing so, that was probably a delightful bonus. But I wouldn’t say he bought her masters because he was obsessed with her. This deal was nearly three years later, and nothing had popped off between the camps in the interim.

I have more on this tormentor/obsessor/muse, concept; but first, back to Folklore. Upon its release, Taylor also revealed in a YouTube livechat that it was the first song she wrote for the album. And that leads me into a bit of timing discussion.

I think Folklore was the result of a few seismic events in Taylor’s life: a run-in with Harry at Ed’s wedding in December 2018 (which I think helped to spawn his second solo album, Fine Line); followed by talking to him during early quarantine in March 2020 in Los Angeles when the Lover tour got postponed and then cancelled; the pandemic itself pushing her, like many of us, into some serious introspection; and, of course, the sale of her masters to Scooter in 2019.

Since this is the very first song Taylor wrote that ended up on Folklore, my speculation is that perhaps it was penned in those first couple of days of the pandemic, before she reconnected with Harry in LA.

Fine Line would have been newly released—just three months prior—and on her birthday no less.

Which leads me back to the tormentor and obsessor. You know what I might find tormenting, if I were Taylor? If I’d been waiting for this one guy to grow the fuck up for years and then (perhaps after we ran into each other at our good friends’ wedding?), he confessed to me that he still wanted me but, even at 25, he still didn’t have his shit together (please see, “Renegade,” “To Be So Lonely,” and “Peter”).

Then, after I piece myself back together following snake gate, some epic twat who bullied me online back then buys my work out from under me from the guy I thought I had a good working relationship with (Scott Borchetta) and while I’m dealing with that bullshit my ex I’m still pining for releases album on my birthday with songs seemingly about us and how he still wants me.

Yeah, that’d have me plenty tormented. And feeling like, since his first album was also quite “a tip of the cap” to me (his words) as well that, yeah, someone was a little obsessed with me.

So, anyway, the lyrics:

We gather here, we line up, weepin' in a sunlit room And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too

We open at the funeral Taylor told us about. Then referencing a potential cremation. If she’s burning, so is he. Because they’re twin flames? Because they’re so close?

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you ‘Til my dying day

Does this sound like someone talking to either a bully or a former business associate? To me it sounds like a very messy, very difficult, former lover.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And you're the hero flying around, saving face And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

I can see how people could think this was about Scott, but not Scooter. But T herself said this whole thing was about one muse: The embittered obsessor attending her funeral.

Anyway, my take: it’s a lover she couldn’t let go of easily, so it ended messy.

And now he’s out promoting an album full of songs about them, pretending it’s not, because he’s a gentleman. But while he’s acting like she’s nothing to him, they both know what he said to her in private, and what those songs are really about, and no matter how much she cries and waits and wants him to grow up and come get her he just can’t — or won’t.

We gather stones, never knowing what they'll means Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring

This is a Biblical allusion to Ecclesiastes 3:5: “A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.” I think she’s referring here to an idea revisited again in “loml,” that she thought she’d be safer and maybe get the life she wanted with someone more stable, versus being in a relationship that left her starry eyed, like she was with Harry…and that’s how she wound up with Joe for six years.

You know I didn't want to have to haunt you But what a ghostly scene

Ah, would it really be a Haylor lyric breakdown if we weren’t talking about ghosts and haunting at some point? ���� They obviously haunt one another because they can’t shut up about each other. (Not that I’m complaining!)

Two Ghosts: “We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty.” ....Ready for it?: “Wonder how many girls he loved and left haunted.” Cardigan: “I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs.”

You wear the same jewels that I gave you As you bury me

Even while doing the press for Fine Line, H was wearing her ring. Should we talk some more about the Haylor ring? Or burying and graves? Nah. I think these posts sum it up very well.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

I think these lines could be a reference both to things he’s said to her and in his songs about her, particularly the pointed ones. “Lights Up,” for one, which to me, reads like an argumentative back-and-forth about why must things change in a relationship against the backdrop of fame. It also seems to include a tie to “Peter” with “I’m never coming back down,” as compared to “I didn’t want to come down.”

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones

And where is home in this case—and so many others? Each other.

And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies

I imagine this is her picturing him listening to her old albums, as she hadn’t done her rerecords yet. Also, again, doesn’t this all seem a bit…intimate and dramatic for a business relationship? Like, picture this moment in the Eras Tour in your mind, please, and tell me with a straight face that you’d sing like this for your former boss. It certainly doesn’t seem like anything you’d say to someone like Scooter. Why would she ever want to talk to him at all?

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same Cursing my name, wishing I stayed You turned into your worst fears And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain Crossing out the good years And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

So, this is where we get into the “embittered” part of Taylor’s original description of the song’s muse—the person visiting her funeral. Why is he bitter? Because he lost her. She didn’t stay. Perhaps because his own bad behavior pushed her away. “All the light couldn’t put out the dark running through my heart?” “I know you were way too bright for me. I’m hopeless, broken.” Also, and again, please see, “Renegade,” and “To Be So Lonely,” and “Peter” and also “Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus.”

[blood-darkened-moon]

Isolation

Chapter 3

December 23

Something frightened the dogs this morning. Marcus was about to feed them when he saw that they were all huddled together in the far corner of their kennel. With their tails tucked between their legs, they were yelping and whining. It took him quite a while to calm them down to some extent. Fortunately, they were not injured. After the dogs were taken care of, he first searched the area himself to find out what the cause was before he asked us for help. Lots of snow falls quickly, and the wind does its bit, not to mention the very limited visibility. Any remaining tracks shouldn’t be swallowed up by the snow. None of us noticed anything. The storm is quite loud, so you can hardly hear any noise that doesn’t come from the immediate vicinity of the building you’re in.

It can’t really have been wild animals. There are no animals here that are big enough to scare the dogs like that. Therefore, our first thought was that someone else from the Umbrella facility had shown up. So we mainly looked for vehicle tracks and also for footprints leading into or out of the research station, in case they had parked the vehicles outside. The search lasted over an hour and a half. We looked inside and about 100 meters around the station, but we found nothing, no vehicle tracks, no footprints. We were just about to stop when John discovered something we had not paid attention to before. A large amount of snow had fallen from one of the buildings, exposing the roof. It was slightly odd despite the strong wind, as the snow on the roofs is usually a bit icy and not so easy to move. There were also markings that looked like claw marks in several places on the roof and at the top of the wall, always two long, almost parallel lines. Marcus said that perhaps there were larger pieces of ice in the pile of snow that had left the patterns as they slid down. The noise this made may also have frightened the dogs. Nobody was really satisfied with the explanation, not even Marcus himself. Wouldn’t chunks of ice be more likely to create irregular scratch marks? Would a pile of falling snow really scare all the dogs? However, none of us had any better explanations. Judging by the size of the scratches, the animal should have been about the size of a human. Also, there didn’t seem to be any footprints leading to or away from the spot, as far as anyone could tell. It must have had wings to get onto the roof and away. That makes even less sense.

As for Dr. Edwards, I tried to ask Isaac about her, but he just said he wasn’t allowed to talk about his patients. She’s not really his patient, though. He hasn’t examined her due to the risk of infection, and unless she gets sick, it will probably stay that way. Moreover, her condition concerns us all. Fortunately, Harry is more talkative. I’ll just stick to him from now on. He said she was still doing well. She has a healthy appetite and has asked if she can have more food. Harry wants to ask about that, even though we don’t have that much leeway when it comes to food portion sizes. She gets the same amount as the rest of us and is already an extra mouth to feed. I’m sure AAD won’t be happy if they have to deliver unscheduled supplies. Otherwise, she seems to have taken a liking to the Gameboy. Harry has now got her rechargeable batteries and a charger, so she doesn’t use up all our batteries. She said she played until the batteries ran out. Quarantine must be really boring.

As she doesn’t seem to know anything about current events or has any hobbies, Harry tried small talk about her life this time. He said he wasn’t intrusive and also told her a few things about himself. Nevertheless, she wasn’t really talkative about it. In the beginning, she answered, albeit somewhat short, but later, she avoided some questions or simply ignored them before she wanted to change the subject. She didn’t say exactly where she came from, only that she was from England. From a small town that Harry wouldn’t know anyway. Her father is dead, she doesn’t know where her mother is. Apart from that, she has a twin brother with whom she gets along well. Harry asked her if we should contact him when communication is back on track, but she said she’d rather tell him everything in person when this is over. She was privately tutored as a child, and her studies were primarily distance learning. However, she didn’t want to say where she studied. That’s strange. I can somewhat understand her keeping quiet about things that have to do with her work, but something like this? Is she afraid we’ll check her statements? If only it were that simple. I would check her background if I could. I just don’t think she’s telling us the whole truth, at least she’s hiding something.

She was more talkative when it came to traveling. As a child, she had once spent a week in London and a few days in Edinburgh. Apart from that, her father took her on business trips to various countries from time to time. However, she either had to go along to the business meetings or stay in a hotel. She didn’t see much of the places they visited. Her father must have been quite a workaholic if he never went anywhere with his children when it wasn’t for business trips. As a teenager and during her studies, she never traveled and only focused on her career. Maybe that’s why she’s the way she is. It’s kind of sad if you never see the world during your youth. A lack of money was apparently not an issue in her case. Besides, she was very interested in what Harry told her about his trips to Indonesia, Thailand, Brazil, Mexico, and New Zealand. He had to describe everything down to the smallest detail, at least as far as he could remember. Harry also offered her to visit him when he is back home in Brisbane. He would show her around the city. They could also go on trips to other cities, or spend a few days in the Outback. She said maybe she would really do that if her brother could come with her. I wonder if her brother is as weird as she is.

Start/←Prev/Next (continues on AO3)→

[queenie-jinny]

Erised fic claim: Lethe

Lethe by @QueenieJinny for @slythercrux

Explicit, 70k

Summary: A new form of vanishing sickness is sweeping across Britain. Healers Harry Potter and Hermione Granger are on the case. When Draco Malfoy is admitted to the isolation ward, Harry never imagines falling in love with him will be the easiest thing he’s ever done – and watching him fade away to nothing will be the hardest.

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Temporary Character Death, Dubious Consent, Doctor/Patient, Blood and Injury, Scars, Mysterious illness, Disability, Ableist Language, Slurs, Implied/Referenced Assault, Pandemics, Quarantine, Terminal Illnesses, mild body horror, Pregnant Minor Character(s), Smoking, Brief suicide ideation, Memory Loss, Patient Neglect, Withholding Information from a Patient, brief discussion of self-harm, implied/referenced drinking, Angst with a Happy Ending, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Sexual Tension, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Enemies to Lovers, Pining, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, Mild Sexual Content, Non-Linear Narrative, Illustrations, Art, Mixed Media, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, H/D Erised 2023, Minor Astoria Greengrass/Ginny Weasley, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, POV Multiple, Nightmares, Demisexual Harry Potter, Comes Back Wrong, Resurrection, Magical Tattoos, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Touch-Starved Harry Potter, Healer Harry Potter, Bathing/Washing, Poetry, St Mungo's Hospital (Harry Potter), Underworld 

Huge thanks to my beta @citrusses without whom I would be lost

a tiny excerpt ^.^

“Aren’t you supposed to be taking notes already?” he said slowly, seductively, while sliding his trousers down the length of his legs, until they dropped to the floor with a soft thump.

He didn’t miss Potter’s worried wince at the translucent line across his hip and right leg, which had continued to expand during his absence. The guilty act. Draco had learnt to recognise it well.

He hitched his bad leg up on the sofa. To rest it – of course.

Potter’s eyes looked like they were about to burst out of their sockets. He was putting on a valiant fight but clearly failing at the sight of Draco’s crotch and long legs on display. Draco knew his best assets well.

“Are you doing that on purpose?” Potter asked dumbly.

Draco smirked. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“But… why? Are you enjoying torturing me?”

He looked so defeated, Draco almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

He raised an eyebrow and smirked at him. “When did I ever not?”

[cottonraincoat]

Five Fandoms, Five Ships!!

Get to know the blogger, via five different ships from five different fandoms!

thank youuu for the tag @sky-kenobye xx

gotta be honest for the majority of my life my hyperfixations have not been fictional media lmao (unless math is fiction and that's actually not an indefensible view) and when they are it rarely hops around so I have not made it up to 5, but alas!

1. Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars) binge rewatching the prequels + watching owk last year sent me straight to the ao3 tag and the rest is history. I don't think I've encountered another set of characters that have made their entire lives about each other and then made the whole galaxy about them. although it is also for sure the people & the stories we tell each other that's kept me around, and I feel very lucky that I get to clown around with you talented people :)

2. Remus Lupin/Sirius Black (Harry Potter) what can I say I do like my gently depressed mentor types and their mentally unstable goth boyfriends. this was the quarantine rabbit hole & the one that really got me into writing fic & there's still that time travel epic I'm trying to write. (I'll give myself another three years)

3. Marvin/Whizzer (Falsettos) the musical. another pair of gay people being unhealthily obsessed with each other as the world fell apart around them, and finally learning to love each other just as it killed them, this time in 70s/80s nyc! admittedly this is 1. in the context of being in love with the musical as a whole and 2. correlated with the inexplicable and slightly embarrassing obsession with Andrew Rannells (the actor who played Whizzer) I had back in school. ah well!

4. Richard Wagner and Friedrich Nietzsche (19th century Germany) for the record this is a JOKE. although nietzsche was really properly obsessed with wagner okay. properly thought he embodied the spirit of civilization and dedicated whole books to him, and then coming to hate him at the end just as much he'd loved him (thought he embodied the sickness of civilization and dedicated whole books against him). I would say nietzsche's rolling in his grave but he probably already has been for all the stuff people think he said. god okay. see this is what happens when you try to philosophy but don't understand it because you end up shitposting about them on a fabricated dimension that's still comprehensible. well that made me sad. sigh.

5. me and my bed okay I'm getting myself out of here. goodbye!!

this has been going around the dash and I technically only had 3 sooo @heretolurkandnothingmore @usakostar @deathbyobiwan if you want and haven't done it!

[seldnei]

Re: that last gif set …

I remember reading an intro to one of the Sandman collections where I thought “Seriously, Neil?” about something childcare related. Then he and his first wife got divorced and there was something there that bothered me. But: parasocial relationship, not anyone I actually know, whatever.

Then the whole mess with Covid and him going to Scotland while Amanda and their son were in NZ, and how he broke quarantine rules, and I was like … ok, parasocial relationship, but Jesus Christ, dude, what the fuck?

But. Neil Gaiman. He seemed like a decent person, a person trying to do good things, so okay, Neil can have one major fuckup as a treat, yeah? We’re all human and Covid traumatized everyone. But I remember thinking, “Yowza, what a trainwreck, esp. when it comes to relationships, damn.”

And now, I have read all the things about the podcast, the accusations, the whisper network, the fucking Clarion rule, and yeah, I believe the women. (I believed *something* happened from the start, but it’s Neil Gaiman, surely he should get a little grace—oh. Well. Never mind. Fucking hell.) I am so incredibly disappointed in this person I have never met but thought was a decent person—and honestly? I don’t necessarily think he’s *not* a progressive, allied person who cares about refugees and trans rights and LGBTQ+ issues and, god help me, feminist issues. I think human beings can be scummy af and also have excellent ratings from the Human Rights Campaign. It’s cognitively dissonant, but it’s true.

With that said: He hurt people. That is not okay. And I really hope those people get the help and support that they need to cope with what happened.

When it comes to his work—well, I can’t read Orson Scott Card anymore, and I can’t read Harry Potter anymore (that one really hurts; y’all know I read those to Z when he was little before she admitted she was a transphobe). But I can watch Buffy. Because Buffy is more than Joss Whedon—Buffy is Marti Noxon and Jane Espensen and Sarah Michelle Gellar. And I think (I hope) I can still watch/read Good Omens and Sandman for the same reasons.

(Gonna be honest, I’m not sure losing the novels is upsetting me? *That’s* interesting. How much of what I love about Neil Gaiman’s work is due to his collaborators? Hmmm.)

So, anyway, those are my thoughts there, if anyone was wondering. I usually tag stuff with titles (I hate it when I see a gif set that’s interesting and then it’s not labeled with the title of the thing, so I do always try to make sure the title is somewhere), so block as you need to. And again, I believe the women.

[twopoppies]

Hi Gina. What do you think about this TikTok? I've had to edit the link so I can send it. Do you agree? Do you think Harry is stuck with the Azoffs because if he left them it would ruin his career? tiktok.com/@tpwknr/video/7189851363604532522

Hi love. I agree with a lot of what they talk about, but no. I don’t think he’s “stuck” with the Azoffs. I think he very likely knew their reputation and what he needed behind him in order to move from being Harry Styles boyband member, beloved by teenage girls (according to the media) who signed his life away to Syco/Sony at age 16, to Harry Styles solo superstar at the top of the charts, making millions upon millions, winning Grammys, and making the music he wants to make. Obviously not without concessions and missteps here and there along the way, but he needed a powerhouse on his side to negotiate for him and steer his career.

So, no. I don’t think he’s stuck. I do think he’s very aware that Sony and the Azoffs play dirty (even I know that) and that at the end of the day, they’re their own number 1 priority. But a lot of people in the fandom seem to think there’s some dream management team or dream label that they hope H moves on to. There isn’t. Everyone in that industry is corrupt to varying levels. If Harry were to leave either Sony or the Azoffs on bad terms, I wouldn’t be surprised if they retaliated. But I really don’t think that’s why he’d be resigning. I think he’s most likely to get the best deal for himself resigning with them.

As for being overworked, I think there’s a lot of exaggeration and assumption going on in the fandom. We really don’t know how Harry feels about the schedule he’s working. He’s said himself when talking about the hiatus after the band, that he doesn’t do well not having the structure of working and traveling (I forget his exact words, but basically that he’s not good at doing nothing). When quarantine hit, Tom and Tyler said Harry was ready to get back in the studio well before anyone else was even thinking about it. His mom might think he’s working too much, but that doesn’t mean Harry feels that way. And some of the pressure could be coming from his label (I don’t think he was thrilled with the set up of the 2021 tour, for example), but I think he understands the business and understands that this isn’t the time to take a year or two off. He mentioned in the Zane Lowe interview for Harry’s House about wanting to be at the stage where he could disappear for a while and then come back and continue more or less where he left off. You have to get to a certain level of “icon” to do that without people just moving on to the next hot thing.

With what I see happening, I think he’s putting the work in now, to be able to have that later. I’m always reevaluating as we get more info, but that’s how I see things at the moment. I know lots of people disagree, but that’s how its always going to be when none of us actually know anything.

[whatiwillsay]

hi cam! before i say something i just want you to know i absolutely adore your blog and pod and all the work you put in it! i have recently come across it in the past months while deepdiving gaylor and its been a wonderful experience(your blog is the most level headed and rational + well researched) so thank you for making the experience so nice!!!

while i was looking at all the tswift posts i realized you do more than just gaylor takes, it's a lot of popculture so out of curiosity i searched up larry on your blog. i was a tiny bit deflated to see you don't believe in it despite all your researching and that's okay! we all have different opinions! (im a hardcore larry truther though) i know you've said you've researched larry to the bone but i've also seen that you're always open to a different pov and change in opinion so maybeee :D im not here to ruthlessly convert you but i just wanted to drop a suggestion! if you ever have the time, please check out cosmicleeds larry timelines on youtube! they are just like your timelines, well researched, debunking of the over the top things, and very comprehensive, backed with solid proof! a lot of larry stuff is hard to believe when you weren't personally there but arden does it very well! there's also other videos on them for more context and debunks so just watch them see what happens, give it one more shot who knows? :D otherwise, happy gayloring and camcaking!

i'm glad you enjoy the pod and community! i have researched larry extensively and also talked to a lot of people in the industry that have worked with harry and the other 1d guys, my girlfriend is even friendly with lottie (they collabed on something once i believe) and never in my life have i heard anyone with any connections ever say larry was real.

i put most of my thoughts on the matter into this episode:

long story short larry is probably never something i'd believe in unless harry and louis told me to my face they were together. could i see a crush on harry's part? maybe! i do know he's queer. could there have been some experimentation when they were young? yes definitely possible.

but as far as i know, louis and harry weren't even friends anymore by the end of 1d and certainly were never boyfriends and most of what larries have as evidence is coincidences, fan service from the guys, and harry's expressions of his own queerness that had nothing to do with louis.

i have seen just about every larry video on youtube (me and @thatskepticalbitchcara use to watch them when we were losing it in the depth of quarantine) and have seen a lot of cosmicleeds' stuff.

no hate tho, i know how enticing ships can be. larry will never be that ship for me though i know too many people who have debunked it to me.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Fics w/ 15k Words Masterlist

all i want (ao3) - lourrygum michael/luke, calum/ashton E

Summary: Luke is a camboy and Michael has to have normal conversations with him like he didn't watch him come untouched just last night

Or, Lush isn't Luke's only place of employment, Calum is falling in love with the curly haired dork that comes in to his coffee shop on a daily basis and Michael's going to stop watching Luke's videos soon, he swears.

desert sunrise (ao3) - citiesbelow michael/calum, past michael/crystal E

Summary: AU in which Michael ends up single early in quarantine and Calum has been pining for him for years, but even when they get to Joshua Tree, he’s determined not to say anything out of fear of ruining their friendship. He can’t keep a secret forever, however, especially not from his best friends.

Life-Size Luke (ao3) - plushyluke luke/ashton E

Summary: ashton is a sex store employee when the new adult, collector dolls hit the shelves. he's had enough of these "lukey dolls," when one night everything changes, and his life becomes lukalicious.

Matchmaker Matchmaker, Make Me a Match (ao3) - FayeHunter luke/calum, michael/ashton T

Summary: Luke has the bright idea to matchmake his two best friends. Calum’s just along for the ride

morphine lover, make me numb (ao3) - swiefts luke/ashton E

Summary: He knew what the ancients said about the butterflies but right now there were planets colliding with one another inside his stomach, inevitably exploding. Feeding him with irrevocable lust. Crushing his bones and stealing his oxygen.

That’s what Luke does to him.

Maybe Ashton’s not a derailed comet. Maybe he’s a fucking shooting star, because he was falling. Falling for Luke.

Or the one where Luke is maybe more than just Ashton's fuck buddy. And Ashton may be falling for him.

my heart radio is set to explode (ao3) - horriblekids luke/calum, michael/ashton T

Summary: Five times everyone thought Luke and Calum were dating and then one time where they actually are.

Luke puts up an ad for a roommate-slash-bandmate online and Calum's the only one who responds. He turns out not to be a serial killer, though.

Sippin' On Moonlight, Drinking Champagne (ao3) - fourdrunksluts michael/calum E

Summary: There have been many times that he’s considered approaching Michael about his feelings and putting everything on the line. He’s no stranger to wearing his heart on his sleeve. Every time though, he’s stopped by a pop of the hip, a flick of the fringe, or those goddamn clear glasses, worn only to make Calum constantly hard.

It’s not that Calum doesn’t believe their relationship would be amazing, because it would be. It’s just, for all that they blend together perfectly, Calum isn’t sure that they’d be sexually compatible. Because while Calum loves to be held down and man-handled, Michael, well…

Michael is a twink.

-

Or the one where Calum moves in with Michael and doesn't know how to take a hint.

somehow you kicked all my walls in (ao3) - estrella30 michael/harry E

Summary: Enough time passes between the last Manchester show and the next time he sees Harry that Michael thinks he probably imagined everything that had happened between the two of them.

or, Harry and Michael hook up a lot over the course of the tour

Starting Over (ao3) - orphan_account luke/ashton M, 15k

Summary: Luke Hemmings is the new kid at school. Shy, self conscious and nervous, he (literally) bumps into Ashton Irwin, the most popular kid at school. It's time for starting over.

This Was Unforeseeable, Aching To Be Near You (ao3) - reversecow calum/ashton E

Summary: Ashton crosses the room, ready to fall into his own bed and sleep for as long as possible when he hears Calum sniffle and let out a quiet sigh

“You’re never gonna love me.” ---

The night of Calum's 23rd birthday, he accidentally tells Ashton more than he ever planned to about his feelings. Ashton looks back at the last eight years and does some soul searching.

throw on a jersey, no one gets hurt (ao3) - orphan_account luke/ashton T

Summary: Ashton knew he wasn't normal okay, he fucking knew it, he didn't need his father reminding him of that every goddamn day. He knew it wasn't normal to like wearing girl's clothes and makeup and just feeling pretty, but it was like an itch under his skin - he needed it, just like he needed the sharp blade in his drawer.

Maybe that was why he was close to just ending it all.

Thunderstorm (ao3) - outlawofideal michael/luke, minor calum/ashton M

Summary: Or the one Luke loses his hope of his swimming career, Calum is a impeccable medley racer, Ashton and Michael are really close friends.

Too Young, Too Dumb (ao3) - orphan_account luke/calum N/R

Summary: Calum has to find a way to pull his band back together or jump ship himself before he drowns along with Luke.

You'll Be Stuck On It Cause My Love's So Good (ao3) - senioritastyles luke/ashton E

Summary: "How was it? How was it, Ash? Was it fun? Did you throw the ball? Was it awesome? Did they-"

"Lu, too many questions." Ashton chuckles, petting at Luke's hair as he moves his awkwardly growing fourteen year old body towards the backyard with his twelve year old best friend and neighbor close behind him.

Ashton sits on the warm grass, tossing his shoulder pads and helmet to the side and kicking his muddy cleats off, turning to look at Luke's tanned face and they way it makes his eyes look an even brighter blue than normal. Luke looks anxious to know about Ashton's first football practice, brimming with so many questions that they'd probably be here all night if Ashton let Luke keep asking, and he knows it's only because this is the first thing that Ashton's done without Luke in pretty much forever and that Luke's curious because he wants to play football too. Luke isn't old enough for the town league yet though, and he won't be for two more years so right now he's stuck with living vicariously through Ashton.

Or: Luke and Ashton are football buddies until they're not and then they are again and then they're not and---okay, you get it.

you own me, you rattle my bones (ao3) - iambic_pulse michael/luke/ashton E

Summary: Kink meme prompt: Luke wants to be used, roughed up and degraded but he also wants to be caressed and comforted and told how beautiful and good and perfect he is. At the same time. That's how he ends up with two doms: Ashton to treat him rough and Michael to comfort and encourage him with gentle kisses and sweet nothings.

you're lucky if your memory remains (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum, minor luke/ashton E

Summary: "Calum's frame is so small and frail, Michael feels like he might turn to dust if touched. His usually amber brown skin is now pale and ghostly, wrapping around his bones like a thin sheet of snow. He reminds Michael of the paper flower he gave the boy when they were younger; fragile, crumpled, and barely holding himself together."   Calum's gone, and Michael can't forget him even if he tried.

[joannaturnbullofficial]

This was my response to #StephenKing on X/twitter - https://x.com/DomainofHorror/status/1832819696627851561. If I vote for #VPHarris and #OrangeBottom wins I'll be considered a traitor. If VP Harris wins I'll still be recognized, if found out, to be a back stabber to my own political party. Well I'm putting country before party. Because I will not live 4yrs with Project 2025 changing everything our forefathers fault for to make this nation perfect the way it is. And, and to live with a Narcissistic Supremacist Dictator running this country with military enforcement to make sure we all stay in line. He himself said "It's going to be a BLOOD BATH!". Good we can call it 'The TRUMP BLOOD BATH of 2025'. Because if friendly fire is accidentally used I would quarantine he will pass the blame to the military he has referred to as "Suckers and Losers". Think before you vote, because the next movie could cost you big time.

[leclerc-s]

the blue - part three

masterlist previous next

i think i like her...

WOAH!

WHAT?

WHO?

forget i said anything

NO! WE ARE NOT FORGETTING THIS SHIT!

OSCAR JACK PIASTRI YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!

WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

amelia.

OH I FUCKING KNEW IT! DANIEL OWES ME SO MANY STROOPWAFELS!

you bet on this? what are you twelve?

on a scale of 1-10, yes.

forget i said anything, it'll go away.

oscar

besides it's not like she isn't in love with harrison.

but harrison's a dick, you aren't. she can't like him!

oh, but she does. i can tell by the way she talks about him.

well, we better get to work in convincing her to like you. because personally i will be rooting for oscmelia? amscar? what's the ship name? hiastri? hoastri? polland?

read 19:23

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON

ameliaholland seattle you've been awesome! santa clara, you're next. i can't believe this is almost over.

p.s. mum, i'm so sorry for what i've done. but they do say hair holds memories.

view all comments

tomholland2013 WHAT DID YOU DO? GET IT BACK!

samholland1999 EXCUSE ME? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?

paddyholland2004 you look like a boy now.

harryholland64 ignore them. i think you look great

↳ ameliaholland this is why you're my favorite brother harry ❤️

username sam and tom losing their shit over amelia's hair is hilarious

username paddy is giving typical little brother behavior.

landonorris it's giving me when i went bald during quarantine

↳ ameliaholland BALDO WAS A THING? I THOUGHT DANNY WAS LYING?

↳ danielricciardo i would never lie about baldo

↳ username lando getting called baldo is hilarious.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA

ameliaholland it's over? and i'm crying like a baby. i can't believe i got to perform on the same stage as THE taylor swift. swifties, thank you for all the love and support you've given me. taylor, thank you so much for giving me this opportunity and performing i miss you, i'm sorry with me. little amelia would be screaming in joy at this opportunity.

tagged: taylorswift

view all comments

tomholland2013 i'm so proud? and i'm crying? what the hell?

↳ ameliaholland you love me, that's why.

hazosterfield you killed it amelia. so proud of you.

landonorris YOU KILLED IT BEST FRIEND!

↳ ameliaholland THANK YOU BEST FRIEND! YOU OWE ME A VACATION!

danielricciardo you never answered my question amelia

↳ ameliaholland the answer is no

↳ username what was the question??

taylor swift thank you for joining me. it's been a pleasure getting to know you 🩵

↳ ameliaholland MOTHER! thank you for having me 🩵

oscarpiastri so are we finally getting breakfast or what?

↳ ameliaholland if you can get out of bed on time.

↳ username is he flirting? is this ship sailing?

↳ username i was rooting for her and lando

↳ username they're just friends

lilymhe can't wait to met you!

↳ ameliaholland so excited!

she found herself in front of harrison, the older boy having corned her as soon as she was left alone. amelia had resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the sight of him. his girlfriend was around the club somewhere. tom had been insistent on celebrating her arrival as soon as she was home. he had even given lando and oscar a heads up so they could be there. she was waiting for their arrival, she had missed the two mclaren boys, even if they had only hung out once, they had become her closest friends.

harrison looked at her, "have i done something to upset you?"

amelia scoffed, "have you done something to upset me? are you stupid?"

harrison looked surprised, "so i did do something. what was it? how can i fix it?"

"you can't fix it, besides i'm just your best mate's sister and that's all i'll ever be." recognition flashed across his eyes and amelia was hurt, "so you do remember. do me a favor harrison, leave me alone."

"stop writing songs about me."

she scoffed once again, "i'll stop when i stop feeling hurt by your actions. you strung me along, for over a year. and somehow you managed to get a girlfriend and just decided, 'hey, little amelia likes me, i'll emotionally cheat on my girlfriend with her.' this isn't something you can fix harrison, not anymore."

"what about you and piastri? anything there?"

"why do you care? we're nothing, we never have been. stop being a dick to me and go find your girlfriend."

harrison looked taken aback and opened his mouth to reply when amelia felt an arm land across her shoulders, "baby holland! you're back home!"

amelia turned and was met with the sight of daniel ricciardo. she smiled brightly at him forgetting all about harrison. daniel turned to harrison, acknowledging him for the first time, "i'm daniel and you are?"

"harrison," he replied, "i should go find my girlfriend."

"fucking dick," daniel muttered.

"what are you doing here?" amelia questioned the older australian. daniel smiled at her, "we're also on break for the moment."

"have you seen oscar? is he here?"

"oh yeah, he's been excited to see you. lando too. he invited a few of the guys who wanted to meet you. maxie wanted to know all about the girl who replaced him as lando's best friend."

"please don't tell me max verstappen hates me."

"oh no, maxie's a big softie when you get to know him. i also think this was pierre's excuse to get drunk and nando's."

"fernando alonso is here? oh my god. the fernando alonso?"

“wow, i don’t think you were this excited when we first met.”

“technically, this is our first time officially meeting,” amelia reminded him, “and you’re also not fernando alonso.”

“amelia!” lando shouted as he spotted the brunette. he approached her with oscar and max verstappen behind him. once she was closer lando ran to her, hugging her, “you’re back!”

“really? i thought i was still in la,” she joked. daniel and max laughed. amelia turned to oscar, pulling him into hug, “you okay?”

oscar nodded, “daniel got the worst of it,” amelia looked at him in the eyes. brown met brown and she knew he wasn’t lying. not that it mattered if he lied, they were just friends. not that she wanted to be anything else, but she had learned to value genuine friendships. especially friendships in hollywood, because there you didn’t who was truly your friend or who simply wanted to gain something from you.

max coughed, “max verstappen,” he said holding his hand out. amelia rolled her eyes pulling him into a hug, “i’m a hugger, i also know who you are. i’m amelia holland.”

“oh i know, i’ve heard all about you from lando.”

“jealous?”

“of a pre-teen? no fucking way.”

“i’m 21!” she exclaimed. max laughed, “you don’t look it.”

amelia laughed, "well thank you for coming. enjoy your night, drinks are on my brother. i have to go get ready."

"ready?" oscar questioned, "ready for what?"

"you didn't think i wouldn't be singing at my welcome home party did you?"

before anyone could answer, a very excited logan sargeant bumped into oscar, "dude, i just met zendaya, she's so cool. i think esteban almost fainted at the sight of tom," he noticed the girl with them, "oh, hello. logan sargeant."

"oscar's best friend," she remembered, "amelia holland."

"oh, i get it now."

"get what?"

"nothing, what's this i head about a song?" logan said, "are we getting serenaded by THE amelia holland?"

amelia laughed again, she liked these guys. they all made her laugh like no one else ever had. when she had gone to monaco she assumed all the guys would be stuck up like most celebrities and influencers she had met before. but all of the guys she had met were down to earth and genuine guys.

"i really have to go now," amelia said, pulling away from daniel, "hope you guys enjoy the new songs!" she shouted behind her. lando gasped, grabbing max and oscar and pulling them to the front of the crowd that was in front of the stage.

amelia stepped up on the stage, grabbing a guitar, before sitting down, "hello, i'm amelia, as you know. first off, i want to thank you all for coming tonight, it means so much that all of you care this much about me. second, i um wrote a couple of songs that i wanted all of you to hear first before i put them out to the world," the crowd cheered and amelia blushed, "the first one i wrote a few months ago when i was in a bad place so this is lacy."

oscar watched mesmerized as the girl sang. he noticed the blonde beside him who looked enamoured with amelia but ignored it. besides the guy was holding hands with a girl, there was no way he was being that bold in front of his girlfriend. as the song came to an end lando began screaming like a goat, making max and oscar cringe, while others laughed at him.

amelia cleared her throat, "this next one was written around the same time and it's a very emotional song so i apologize in advance if i cry," the crowd laughed, "i would also like to invite a specific person on stage to play the piano. we met back in monaco and decided to write a song together. charles, please join me on stage."

pierre cheered loudly as he pushed his best friend on stage. charles smiled at the crowd before sitting down in front of the piano. amelia put her guitar down, moving to stand in front of the piano. she nodded at charles and began playing the opening chords to the song. it was a beautifully tragic song, a song that seemed to encapture amelia and charles. the tears made her eyes shine and charles nodded to the empty seat next to him, amelia sat next to him, still singing while laying her head on his shoulder. when the song came to an end charles stood and amelia hugged him, he wrapped his arms around her and whispered something. she nodded before letting him go.

amelia took a deep breath, "this last one was written on my final night of the eras tour and the flight back home. it's also the closing song to this little trilogy. i hope you enjoy it. this is love is embarrassing."

as the song came to a close the blonde next to oscar turned away and left. his girlfriend went after him, looking confused as lando and danny burst into laughter. oscar smiled at her as she ended her performance, around them people laughed and cheered for her. she bowed at the crowd before jumping off stage into her brothers arms.

oscar turned to lando, “who was the guy? the one who left?” daniel who stood behind them laughed, “oh that guy? i’m guessing he’s the weird second string loser not worth mentioning, aka harrison.”

“that guy?” lando questioned, “well, he’s got nothing on oscar.”

“lando!”

“pay up verstappen!” daniel shouted, “i fucking told you!”

max grumbled something under his breath before pulling out a few bills and slapping them on daniel’s hand, daniel shouted in glee. amelia approached them, interrupting daniel from further celebrating and teasing oscar. oscar rolled his eyes and walked away towards the bar, he was going to need a drink or five if he was going to get through the night with his coworkers. he wasn't sure if all of them were his friends yet, but he was sure logan and lando could be called his friends.

“baby holland! you fucking killed it!” daniel exclaimed, “really loved that last song. ballsy singing it in front of the inspiration.”

amelia cringed but was interrupted by lando, “you and charles? why wasn’t i informed of this? i’m your best friend! how did you two even meet?”

“he was near the red bull garage when i got lost,” amelia answered, "we started talking about music and we exchanged numbers in case we ever wanted to work together."

"so, you and him. not again?" logan questioned. amelia shook her head, "no fucking way."

"good," lando said, "he never deserved you. speaking of, where's oscar?"

amelia looked around, spotting the australian by the bar, cornered by her brothers, "oh no. i have to go rescue him."

oscar found himself cornered by the three holland brothers at the bar. sam and tom tried looking menacing but they couldn't pull it off, they looked like upset puppies. harry simply looked amused at his brothers actions. tom was the first one to break the silence, "what are your intentions with our sister?"

"i'm sorry?" oscar questioned.

"you heard him, what are your intentions with our sister?" sam questioned.

"are they being serious?" oscar asked harry. harry nodded, "they're overprotective, especially considering what the last one did to her. just don't hurt her, please. i've learned that lia does whatever lia wants, if she wants to be with you, she'll be with you."

before oscar could reply or the other two holland boys could protest amelia approached them, "hey, what's going on?"

"nothing," all four boys replied. amelia gave them a look but they all stuck to their story, nothing had happened. amelia shrugged before dragging oscar away from her brothers. the three of them watched her walk away as oscar looked down at her, nothing but adoration in his eyes. the two of them joined a group full of oscar's coworkers, amelia looking happy to be with them.

"she'll be fine," harry assured his brother, "i think he really cares about her."

"we thought harrison did too," sam pointed out.

"he's not harrison," harry defended, "she'll be fine. stop being idiots and let her live her life."

ameliaholland love is embarrassing, the ep. out now.

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landonorris AMELIA MIDDLE NAME HOLLAND HOW DARE YOU KEEP THIS FROM US??

↳ ameliaholland oh shut up, you heard the majority of this before anyone else did, only one song is new to you.

↳ landonorris yeah and it's the best one?

username SHE'S IN HER RED ERA!!

username CHARLES? CHARLES WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

username favorite lyric, i'll start first, 'just watch as i crucify myself for some weird second string loser not worth mentioning.

↳ username 'and i despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you'

↳ danielricciardo ALL OF IS IT OVER NOW!!

↳ oscarpiastri the bridge in logical

↳ landonorris EVERYTHING! I LOVE EVERYTHING!

↳ username holy shit

maxverstappen1 it's an okay ep. i could've done better

↳ ameliaholland as if, i bet i could drive your silly little car but you could never write a bridge like me

↳ maxverstappen1 i'd like to see you try

↳ ameliaholland you're just bitter because i'm lando's best friend.

i think i like him...

¡leclerc-s speaks! ooh, what's this, mutual pining? also i have an issue in making charles be the one playing the piano in my ocs songs. this is not the first time it has happened but i love him and i can't help it.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[labwebs]

"Well, I don't know if that's something you can apply to for starters," Peter laughed- not quite expecting that question of all the possible questions. His plate done, he sat down at the table opposite Harry- still moving carefully- and poured a decent helping of maple syrup on his own wheat cakes. "And I'd be lying if I said it wasn't something I'd thought about especially when I first started doing all of this. I mean I'd thought they were cool even way before that spider bit me."

He paused for a moment, shoving a forkful of food into his mouth to give himself a moment to think about how to answer. "But... I like being able to help the city. To make the place I grew up better if I can. And I'm not saying that they don't help out New York on occasion, but I like being here. Plus if something happened in like... I don't know, Oklahoma or something I don't know how much help I'd be," he chuckled.

And it wasn't something he'd bring up in front of Harry, but there was a certain level of frustration he had with the group after everything that'd happened around Devil's Breath. Sure, there'd been a city-wide quarantine but they had their headquarters here for crying out loud. But none of them had been here. Or, to his knowldge, even tried to get in. Juggling the Demons, escaped convicts, Sable, and five of his worst enemies being broken out of the Raft by the man he'd looked up to... it'd been a lot. It would've been nice to have at least some help.

"And... and yeah," he said after a few moments, circling back to what Harry'd said earlier. "There's things that're easier and things that are harder or just... different, I guess. One of the less-fun ones being the absolute migraine that early spring can be when people start getting all that preventative insect spray out."

He wasn't that sure he'd call it okay, of all things, when he was all but fond of the way his... enhancements showed up in some facets of his life even when he didn't want them to, but it was not a point worth arguing. Not when he was getting more and more used to it, and he didn't want to dwell on the topic. Not when things seemed to be on the mend, just slightly.

Still, Peter's words, unwelcome reminder of the secret that had sat there for so long as they were, had him frown.

"Even after so long?" He asked, part worry, part disquiet. Because of course, their situations were very different, and the telltale instinct towards violence the moment Peter flinched was nothing but the proof of it, but it was the closest thing he had to a point of comparison, as much as he disliked that.

And did he have questions? That was something he could answer easily, for all that his snort was only partly amused.

"Far, far too many." But the vast majority of them were questions he would not answer, if Peter were to ask them of him.

"But given the way so much of you makes sense now, there's little point in most of them." He added, and managed to keep his tone even. "And I won't insult you with the scientific questions."

Because Peter would not answer them, and Harry didn't expect him to.

"So I'm mostly curious about why you haven't joined the Avengers." He admitted.