#and then i had to FIGHT FOR MY LIFE to center some images. ridiculous. probably i should figure out a non-jank way to do it
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erstwhilesparrow · 2 months ago
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hey seriously the electric zine maker is great. i made a thing!
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Here's Kazu! It's short for Kazuya, but nobody ever calls him that. He's Naoki's plush toy, and he's been with Naoki since he was little. Through some combination of Naoki having given him a rudimentary, if imaginary, personality, a bit of magic, and Naoki still perceiving him as a friend and having things like feelings and preferences, he's come to life and acts... well, I guess the closest term I can think of is that he's Naoki's familiar. I actually got the idea for Naoki & Kazu upon seeing something involving Etrian Odyssey - apparently there were ideas for one of the games to have a doll-based summoner-esque class, but it never got past the concept stage. The two are my take on a doll-based class - Kazu projects images around himself via magic and has a set number of things he can project, while Naoki fights with a pair of tonfa the two MUST be added to the party together - just one isn't allowed. My hypothetical game initially used a front and back row system, and all of them were designed with that in mind - some were front row exclusive, some were back row exclusive, and one could be used in either. The player could equip these different "Souls", as I call them (there's also a bit of XC3's Soulhacker class in here), to either a front row slot or a back row slot, and if Kazu changed rows mid-battle, he'd also change Souls. I'm going to have to rework that now, since I've decided to scrap the row system. The old ideas I had:
-A steampunk-themed two-handed sword user whose gimmick was gaining bonuses for landing critical hits, i.e. "gathering steam"
-Boxing gloves, a boxing helmet, wings, and talaria. These would've allowed him to fly and had him function by baiting attacks, dodging them, and then countering
-A typical Red Mage getup that allowed him to be - you guessed it - a Red Mage sort of class. This one was the one that could be used in either row
-A wild, ferocious-looking fox. This one would've had high HP and ridiculous physical damage, but would've drawn enemy attention (intentionally) and also needed constant healing (also intentionally)
-One where he just sits there glowing. It's based on the teddy bears from Earthbound - he would've dealt weak passive damage to every enemy at the end of the turn and had both ridiculous defenses and a ridiculous draw rate, but be unable to attack otherwise outside of a force boost and force break
-A completely normal (but really cute) fox, who would've played healer by being so adorable it actually heals people
-An elemental mage that would've had basic line-targeting spells, but counters for each element that could range from -2 to +2. This one would've centered around suppressing or widening the effects of the basic spells to either make them stronger but affect fewer enemies, or make them weaker but affect more enemies
-A bulletproof vest, a shield, a helmet, and a pistol. This one was a combo of Etrian Odyssey's Dragoon and Gunner, being focused on ranged physical damage, elemental access, a bit of healing, and occasionally nullifying attacks meant for the front line, with the shield bash skills from EO4's take on the Landsknecht class mixed in for good measure
-A combo of the Hexer and Nightseeker classes, again from Etrian, that would've combined ailments and debuffs with a physical skill that was weak on its own but scaled a TON if the target had debuffs and/or an ailment
But I'm going to have to rework these, unfortunately - I've completely removed the row system they were intended to work with, as well as evasion and dodging. Anyway...
I haven't drawn at all in a few days, so the sting of the art here being terrible is dulled a bit by my probably being out of practice. I also feel like I rushed it a bit, which may be true - I genuinely can't tell. Either way, could be better, but could be worse, and hey, I have an excuse - he's a plush toy. He's supposed to look simplistic. He's actually based on a real life plush toy I own:
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And here's that toy for reference. The only personality traits I've decided on are that he appears to be really rough and abrasive, but will usually act in the interest of his friends, and has a softer side that shows around Naoki. Also he swears a TON, because the mental image of a cute little fox plush swearing up a storm is funny to me.
Also I'm really really sorry for the monolithic wall of text that is this post
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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years ago
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While You Sleep
Epilogue (Chapter 20)
Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: N/A, mainly fluffy Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.
A/N: thank you all so much for reading! I’ve never really done such a full-length fic before so I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. I had so much fun writing it and I’m even working on a spin-off series centered around Steve. I’ll have links to that coming soon (I don’t think it will be available on Tumblr)
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
One Year Later
“I don’t know, doll, it seems a little small,” Bucky said as you two wandered around the two-story suburban. 
“Small?” You chuckled. “You got some big plans, Barnes?”
Bucky eyed you. “I got a few ideas, Mrs. Barnes.”
You held up your left hand, your engagement ring twinkled from the sunlight shining into the empty master bedroom. “Future Mrs. Barnes.”
“Close enough,” Bucky shrugged with a ridiculous smirk on his face. You pushed his shoulder lightly.
You two had made some major moves in the past year - you almost couldn’t figure out how you actually got here. It felt like just yesterday you were begging Bucky to retire and now here you two were looking at homes. Engaged. 
Bucky had even gotten a local construction job (they were quite impressed with how much he could carry) and, in a grand moment of impulsivity, cut his hair. He claimed it just made it easier with his job but you felt it held a bit more meaning to him than just that. 
But no matter the reason, you very much loved the shorter look, taking any chance you could to run your fingers through it. Including now, as you two looked around in one of the other rooms of the home. Your realtor had specifically called this one a children’s room. You and Bucky had pretended not to hear that.
“I don’t think it’s horrible,” you said and you did mean that. The home was fine. It was average, what could be expected for a house in the suburbs of the city. It wasn’t so far away that you were out of reach from the others but still gave you guys a fresh start.
Bucky sighed. “Yeah, but it’s not wowing you.”
You shook your head. “No, it’s not. Maybe we’ll have better luck with the next one.” Bucky agreed and you two descended the stairs meeting your realtor in the kitchen. That was probably the best part of the house and you hated to watch it go but you weren’t keen on buying an entire home for one room. You explained your situation to the realtor and she agreed. You planned to meet next week at another home she thinks you two would find to be much more suitable. 
You departed shortly after and decided on a little cafe to stop in at for lunch. You ate on their patio, looking out at the suburban landscape. There was a park not too far away completed with a baseball field and jungle gym. A Starbucks sat kiddie-corner from the cafe. It seemed like the perfect area for you two. 
“I can’t believe this,” you mumbled, a bit accidentally. Bucky didn’t miss it. His brows furrowed at your words.
“What can’t you believe?” He asked. “This lunch? The sandwich is really good.”
You smiled. “No, I meant I can’t believe… This. All this. We’re sitting here having lunch, engaged, after looking at a home. This is life right now.”
Bucky nodded, picking at the side salad he had got with his sandwich. “I didn’t expect to be here.”
You didn’t know what to say. He had expressed these beliefs vaguely before but you hadn’t pressed, maybe a little nervous for what he would say.
Bucky continued, “I- When we first started moving forward, I was convinced something would go wrong. It all seemed perfect, too perfect. I thought there was a way I would mess it up or you would realize I’m not actually what you want or - or just something. I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I never thought I’d have the guts to propose or you’d have any reason to say yes. I certainly didn’t think you’d want to move in with me permanently after…”
After everything you had seen. You didn’t need him to say anymore. You felt it, you knew it. You also had to admit, it had taken quite a few therapy trips for you to get more stable and confident in your newfound life. As for the dreams… They came and went. Sometimes they were normal, just depictions of Bucky in regular life, but any moment of distress would overshadow them. But it was nothing — absolutely nothing — compared to the violence you had once witnessed. You’d take these times of distress over it any day. You were happy you were getting along. Both you and Bucky had put in work and, so far, it was panning out.
“Bucky,” you said, “I couldn’t have imagined my life turning out any differently than this. This… This is perfect, in the best sense. You’re not going to mess anything up and, well, I guess if either of us does, we’ll get through it. I think we always do.”
Bucky’s eyes began to water but he ignored it and reached for your hands over the table. You allowed, holding him tightly.
“Thank you, doll,” he whispered, “so much.”
You chuckled a bit, fighting back the tears. “Gosh, we really a dramatic pair, aren’t we?”
Bucky matched your amusement, playfully rolling his eyes. “I guess so, but we work.”
“By some crazy, twisted Fate.”
Your soulmate hummed in agreement. “That’s definitely one way to describe it.”
You two shared a laugh then turned back to your meals. Where you two went from here was a bit uncertain. Would you find a home? When would you get married? Would little ones be on the horizon? You didn’t know the answers but you knew you two would figure it out. 
You had your soulmate and he was beyond anything you could’ve ever dreamed of.
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lubdubsworld · 4 years ago
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Change of heart (Chapter 7)
Chapter 1   Chapter 2    Chapter 3     Chapter 4     Chapter 5   Chapter 6
Summary : Times are changing. After years of being oppressed, werewolves are taking a stand against humans , demanding equal rights and fair treatment. Heading the movement is Kim Taehyung, the breathtaking heir to the Kim fortune and one of the few remaining Alpha werewolves in the country. His disdain for the human race is well known and well warranted. They killed his family after all….. He wants to change the world , to put humans in their place but when his five year old daughter takes a shine to their very human neighbor , maybe he has to start with a change of heart , first.
: Pairing : Taehyung x OC / Werewolf AU!!
Genre : Romance, Explicit Content.
Chapter 7
The incessant buzzing of his phone was what woke Taehyung up, his entire body aching something fierce. 
He groaned , spitting  what felt like damp hair out of his mouth, blinking against the shaft of sunlight pouring into the room through the slats of the large windows . His bedroom faced the river, and every morning the sun spilled right into his bed , lighting the room up . He loved waking up to warmth and sometimes it made up for the absence of a warm body next to him on the bed. 
But today, with her wrapped around him, he hated the intrusion....wanted nothing more than to burrow into the bed and stay there for the rest of the year. 
It took him a second to realize that Mirae was lying on top of him and he was still, technically inside her. He had been so completely gone the previous night that he could barely remember a thing. 
Other than the fact that he hadn’t had sex that good in his life. Ever. 
Cupping the back of her head gently and wrapping one arm around her waist, he carefully rolled over, laying her gently on the bed next to him. She whimpered when he slid out of her and he winced when a rush of fluids spilled out of her, drenching his thighs and the sheets. 
Bits of the night began to come back to him then. 
Vague memories of fucking her to within an inch of her life. 
Guilt began to coil around his insides as he pushed the hair of her face. She looked like she had been mauled by an animal. Hickeys bloomed all over her neck, her jaw and even on the fleshy curve of her cheeks. Her hair looked matted with sweat and damp and cum . He had a mental image of her then, weakly crawling away when he tried to push into her for the fifth time, and she had been too sore to take him , begging him to let her suck him off  instead  and he flinched when he remembered holding her down against the pillow and fucking her mouth.
He’d managed to keep his knot out of her mouth, but he’d also had a really fierce orgasm, and his release had pretty much ended up all over her. 
His phone was still ringing and he reached across the bed to grab it, answering the call before checking who it was.
“Taehyung...are you alright?” It’s Dr. Lee and Taehyung blinks, surprised.
“Oh..yes. Dr. Lee , is everything okay?”
“I was only calling to check up on you. My sister told me that you were taking Ms. Yoon home and it made me wonder. Are you alright?” 
“I’m fine, doc. In fact better than fine. My head is surprisingly clear. I was fully prepared for this thing to last like a week but I feel normal already.”
Dr. Lee laughed. 
“Perks of  biting your actual mate and not an impostor. How is she, by the way?”
Taehyung relaxed a bit, staring at the girl in his bed. He gently stroked the hair off her face, running the back of his fingers across the smooth skin of her cheeks. 
“She’s ... fine.” He said roughly, “ Or as fine as you’d expect her to be.” He added as an afterthought, remembering that she had tried to get up from the bed for a drink of water and her legs had given out almost at once.
“And the mating mark? Did you dress it up like I told you?”
“Yes... It wasn’t that deep but you should probably drop by tomorrow and take a look at it anyway. “ An incessant beeping told him he was getting another call and he quickly apologized and hung up on the doctor  taking the other call.
“Tae, the shipment isn’t here on time. We’ve been trying to find the CI who gave us the info and the fucker seems to have run aground. Either that or Yoon’s men got to him.... “ Seokjin’s voice trembled with frustration and anger.
“Oh...fuck hyung that’s bad. Okay, what does Namjoon think? “
“Namjoon says that we should go ahead with drilling that dude we caught during the raid last week, Jaehyun or whatever. He thinks he may have some clue because he was fucking one of the bigger suppliers’ daughter.” 
Taehyung groaned.
“What about the reports from the lab? Did they test positive for any other controlled substance? I know we’ve only focused on a couple of them ...I don’t want to be blindsided by anything. “
“That scientist dude is a pain in the ass, refuses to talk to anyone but you and definitely only in person. “ Seokjin scoffed.
“That’s fine.. I’ll be there in an hour. “ Taehyung said sharply.
Seokjin made a noise of disapproval.
“What? Namjoon told me you were with your mate.... You’re going to leave her?”
Taehyung rolled his eyes at that. 
“She’s not my actual mate hyung. As in... what we have isn’t like official or anything. She agreed to it because I asked her to help me out and she knows that this isn’t anything more than a business arrangement. I didn’t even want to do it but...sometimes you do things for the greater good....” 
He moved to get up out of the bed , levering himself up to stand. He felt better than he had in weeks, his body thrumming with vitality and his mind sharp and clear. 
“She’s human right? Is she actually okay?” 
Taehyung scoffed at the implication . 
“I’m not leaving her bleeding and unconscious, if that's’ what you’re wondering. I bought a bunch of pain stuff for her.... the kind humans use.” He felt that pang of disappointment again. 
She was incredible....beautiful and kind and full of heart, yeah but the fact that she was a human was ...... It was just cruel to her. 
. He had spouted some nonsense to her about wanting to do this everyday for the rest of their life but nothing could be farther from the truth than that.   The idea of having to handle his bedmate with kid gloves made him jittery and nervous. 
She was so fucking fragile and he had struggled so hard last night, holding back, over and over again and she had still come out of it completely wrecked.
If she were a wolf, she’d be perfectly fine by now. Healed and happy and probably even up for some morning sex.
And yes the last bit made him sound like a horny bastard but come on, he was a healthy young wolf and an Alpha at that and his libido had always been on the higher side.
He shook his head as though to clear the way his thoughts were heading. It was ridiculous that he was even thinking about this. It was over. He had claimed her. She was his. His wolf was calm now. He could go about his life without having to worry about going into rut or losing his mind at the thought of another wolf near her. 
And he would not feel guilty about it. 
there was something called the greater good. In the grand scheme of things, one night of discomfort would not cost her anything. But what he was doing was going to change the world for his people. 
Seokjin’s voice filtered in through his thoughts. 
“At least tell her before you leave, Taehyung. You’re literally the kind of bastard who would do something as insensitive as leave her after you mated her and then act like you did nothing wrong. ” 
Annoyed , Taehyung hung up without replying.
Glancing at her, he moved to touch her cheeks again. She was asleep. Sound asleep by the look of it. It would be far more insensitive to wake her up. He would go and meet the guy about the lab results and get back here before she was up. 
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“Ow.” 
 I groaned , muffling my agony against the white sheets as I tried to will myself to get up. Breathe through the pain, I told myself firmly. You do not want to spend the entire day like this. You need a shower, stat. 
 “Taehyung?” I called out weakly, for what felt like the tenth time. But the eerie stillness in the room told me I was alone in the apartment.
 I fumbled with my phone, fighting the urge to call him. If he had left, there had to have been a reason , a reason important enough for him to leave and it struck me again that I had been a little hasty, agreeing to this. 
Fueled entirely by my wish to get rid of the excess amount of cum all over me., I dug both my elbows into the bed, lifting my self up to my hand and knees. The pain radiating from my spine, settling deep in my center and the harsh abrasions on my insides.....all of it was a reminder that I had definitely bitten off more than I could chew. 
The first thing I did was grab the pain killers on the table, popping three of them into my mouth and dry swallowing. It was a little past eleven in the morning and I was starving. But I had to get a shower first. 
The trip to the bathroom was an ordeal and I had to fight tears, just to stand. 
Okay. Maybe a bath was in order than. 
I fumbled with the taps, watching warm water fill the ceramic tub, sweating a bit in the humid room. I glanced at my thighs, lightly stroking the bruises and watching them bloom purple under my fingertips. 
The pain was already ebbing, the tablets doing their thing and with my head a little clearer, my thoughts felt heavy. Regret churned, curdling in my gut and I could taste heartbreak on my tongue. 
Sleeping with him had been a mistake. 
A colossal fucking mistake, I thought desperately. I was already feeling abandoned and miserable. I wanted to throw on some clothes and go find him in his office . Wanted to curl into his lap and then refuse to leave. 
But mostly I wanted to kick myself for feeling that way. 
Taehyung wasn’t ..... available for any kind of relationship.
 He was an Alpha werewolf and important man. 
An important bureaucrat. Someone with power and responsibility. A man driven by his need to protect his kind and destroy anyone who meant him harm.  
A man who would do anything to get his way , even if it meant seducing a human he didn’t even like. 
And he had seduced me I thought , feeling unaccountably upset at myself. 
In the  vivid light of day, with my body aching so fierce and my head spinning , I could remember everything that happened the previous day with a sort of vivid clarity. And it was almost an out of body experience, like watching the whole thing happen to someone else. 
The way he had framed his words, the soothing comfort, the reassurances. That stupid fucking dance in the living room with the most cliché song in the world, it was like something straight out of a chick-lit novel. Something only a naïve, immature , desperate woman would fall for. 
What a cruel heartless bastard, I thought angrily. There was no way he didn’t know the effect of his words and actions on me. There was no way he didn’t know that he was purposely playing the part of a loving partner just to break down any defenses I may have put up. 
And like an idiot I had fallen for it. 
Staring around at the apartment and realizing he had just left me to fend for myself, without so much as a note....... After spouting all that nonsense about making sure I was comfortable. 
And I realized with a jolt that he really only meant it for the sex. All that affection, all that concern had been just for the few hours he had me in his bed. When he meant he wanted to make me feel me meant it only for when we were having sex. 
Now that he had got what he wanted , he was back to being the guy he actually was. 
A complete stranger. 
It made me  feel so incredibly foolish . 
Wetness spilled onto my foot and I realized the tub was overflowing. I closed the taps quickly before pulling the drain to lower the water level a bit. 
Climbing in, I settled back against the hard edge of the tub, letting my eyes flutter shut as the warm water soothed my sore muscles. 
“You’re up?” 
Jungkook’s voice startled me, and I nearly went under.
“Careful.” Fingers gripped my shoulder, pulling me back to stability and I gasped out, running a hand over my face to get rid of the water. 
“You... Where did you come from?” I stared at him , gripping the edges of the tub and watching him.
Jungkook looked like a breath of fresh air, hair slightly damp and clad in a white t shirt and blue jeans. He was grimacing a bit, eyebrows furrowed in evident annoyance.
“This entire room reeks.” He complained, turning on the ventilator in the corner of the bathroom. 
I groaned, settling back and just staring at him as he rummaged in the cupboard, pulling out a few bottles, a fresh wash clothe and bottle of body wash. 
My body hummed in delight at the thought of actually being cared for. 
“I’m not even kidding, is this what having a mate is like? You look like you were in a fight with a thorny hedgerow.” He commented, making his way over , but not before stripping out of his shirt and wiggling out of his jeans. 
I hummed, enjoying the view for a second as he finally settled on a small ottoman, right next to the tub. 
I gave him a sweet smile.
“Why are you here?” I whispered. He reached over to press a kiss to my forehead.
“Hyung told me to come. He got caught up with work and he feels bad about leaving you here all by yourself.” 
“Kim Taehyung....told you to come take care of me. Sounds fake but okay.” 
Jungkook laughed.
“To be fair he actually told your brother. But Yugyeom’s busy and he also doesn’t want to see you naked and so he gave me a call.” Jungkook carefully squeezed a dollop of body wash onto the cloth, before gently smoothing the soft linen against my skin. His gaze held mine as he carefully lathered up my shoulders, my collarbones and the curve of my neck. He took care not to touch the dressing on my neck, where Taehyung had bitten me. 
I smiled when one finger stretched out, tracing circles on my skin . Jungkook was too young to be subtle , and I felt a pang of guilt when I saw the very obvious look in his eye.
 Arousal looked so blatant on his handsome face, lips parted, slicked wet. Eyes heavy and intent as he gently rubbed the skin near my throat, thumb now curving around my neck , gently pressing in. 
His gaze met mine and I held it, feeling his hands move lower, fingers curling lightly on the curve of my breasts. When I felt the brush of his thumb on the hard peak of my nipple, I grabbed his wrist.
Tugging his hand away gently, I used my free hand to lightly flick his forehead.
“Behave.” I warned. 
His gaze turned pouty and he let out a breathy, “ Just wanted to make you feel good noona.” 
“You made me feel a billion times better just by showing up here today. But, I don’t want you to get mauled by Taehyung in case he’s feeling territorial again.  ”   I smiled, shaking my head. “ I’ll take it from here. Why don’t you go wait in the bedroom and I’ll call you when I’m done so you can help me out. of the tub.”
Which in itself , probably wouldn’t be necessary. The pills had done their trick and other than feeling well fucked, I didn’t particularly hurt. 
“He doesn’t deserve you.” Jungkook’s voice was petulant , eyes clearly showing how upset he was. He moved back a bit but made no other attempt to leave.
“I thought you liked him.” I chuckled lightly as he carefully arranged the body wash and the washcloths near the tub. I reached for it myself, carefully scrubbing over my skin, for now ignoring the way Jungkook kept his eyes trained on my body as I pulled my legs up to wash them. It was odd, how little his gaze affected me compared to how my body had reacted to Taehyung last night. 
With Jungkook it was...just physical. 
I liked being touched , so I enjoyed sex with Jungkook. 
With Taehyung it had been something so much more.
The very idea of Taehyung touching me, the idea of him wanting to touch me..that had been so overwhelming. 
And so sex with Taehyung had blown my mind. 
“What do you mean, like him? “ Jungkook frowned. 
“It was always Tae hyung, this and Tae hyung that...” I teased. “ You were never subtle about your little man crush on him.” 
I carefully grabbed the showerhead, wetting my hair gently. 
Jungkook scoffed.
“Of course I like him. You can’t be a wolf and not like Kim Taehyung. He’s done so much for us.” He grabbed the shampoo off the counter but before I could take it from him, he squeezed a bit of it into his palms and sank his fingers into my hair.
“Let me do this for you, noona.,” He muttered , voice deep and soothing and I couldn’t contain the moan that escaped, his fingers feeling like heaven as they carefully lathered up the damp strands, massaging my scalp till my eyes fluttered shut.
“Taehyung has things he needs to do and ...well, I agreed to this just so he could avoid any distractions.” I said gently, reaching out and lightly touching his arm.
“That doesn’t give him the right to hurt you though. “ 
I laughed despite myself.
“Why do you think he hurt me?” 
Jungkook stopped his ministrations.
“You wear your heart on your sleeve.” 
I felt my breath catch at that. This thing with Jungkook, it wasn’t exactly the sort of thing where I felt comfortable enough sharing my feelings for someone else with him. I felt awful, embarrassed and annoyed that  something I hadn’t even fully known myself was , apparently obvious to the world.  . 
Embarrassed because it would never be reciprocated. 
Annoyed because I should have nipped this thing in the bud. 
But I couldn’t talk about this now. 
“It’s not... “ I hesitated. “ It’s not going to be a problem. For me. I’m going to fix it. “  The dull throb of the bite on my neck mocked me, even as I said it. I had agreed to something momentous , something that carried a lot of consequences behind it, and I had done it on a whim. 
Taehyung with his honey dripping tongue and gentle but firm hands had made me dance to his tune so perfectly. But now that the act was over, I was definitely in danger of drowning. 
“ So, you’re just going to hang around while he does his own thing.” Jungkook frowned.
“Actually she’s free to walk out anytime she likes.”
Taehyung’s voice broke through the bathroom like a clanging cymbal and I jerked out of the tub in shock.
Jungkook startled too, eyes going wide as he scrambled to his feet. 
Taehyung looked like he had stepped right out of a magazine. 
He was wearing a perfectly pressed pinstriped white button down and teal green slacks , a slim patterned tie , in hues of green and red, perfectly knotted at the base of his throat and  he also had on a waistcoat, fitting him like a glove, setting off his broad shoulders and trim waist. 
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He had his hair styled into a perfect  part, the thick silky locks arching into perfect side bangs that fell into his eyes.
Eyes that held a whole lot of fury as they took in the sight of me, naked in his tub while an almost naked Jungkook had his fingers buried in my hair. 
“I thought you would still be sore from last night....but I suppose that isn’t true, if you felt the need to call for your fuck buddy so soon?” He drawled casually. 
I felt anger swell inside me.
“ Jungkook was kind enough to help me out because I couldn’t even move.” I gritted out. 
“A feat that required him to strip to his boxers?” 
“Hyung, just chill. If I fucked her you would be able to smell it. “ Jungkook snapped, moving to shrug his clothes back on. 
Taehyung ignored him , grabbing a pair of fluffy white towels from the linen closet.
He gave me a look.
“You done?” He asked shortly. 
And somehow, its the sheer disinterest in his tone, the gaze that may as well be directed at a stranger on the fucking road..... That is what really  stings.
I felt like the entire weight of every bad decision I had ever made in my life had just dropped on my head. Almost sagging from the sheer hurt permeating my entire body, I grabbed the edge of the tub and levered myself up, not even bothered that I was completely naked. 
I stepped right out of the tub, completely ignoring the way my limbs practically screamed in protest at the movement. 
I held my hand out for the towel, completely ignoring, Jungkook’s hasty, “ Fuck” or the way Taehyung’s eyes that had gone as wide as saucers. 
He held the towel out and I yanked it out of his grip, wrapping the fabric around my body. 
Taehyung let out a harsh, “ Get the fuck out of my house.” at Jungkook who quickly grabbed his jeans and stumbled out with a rushed.
“I’ll call you noona.” 
I glared at Taehyung, refusing to so much as acknowledge him as I pushed past him into the living room.
“Jungkook wait, I’m coming with you.” I called out angrily and the wolf stopped, looking surprised as he finished pulling his jeans on, fumbling with his buttons.
“Leave, Jungkook.” Taehyung snapped.
“Uh....” Jungkook stared between the two of us.
“Why the fuck are you still here?” This time Taehyung’s voice was louder, deeper, bordering on a true snarl and Jungkook recoiled.
“Fine. I’ll just get a cab then.” 
I turned to the bag with my clothes, grabbing the first thing I could get my hands on. 
Taehyung’s voice came from behind me , tired and weary.
“Please don’t leave.”
I stopped, closing my eyes and willing myself not to completely lose it.
“Please , just.... I know I shouldn’t be angry. This thing with us is ...nothing.” He said softly, which , fucking  ouch .  Having him actually say it was so much worse. 
But he wasn’t done.
  “  Its just a fucking favor you’re doing me, i know that is what it is. We don’t owe each other anything I know , but if you're gonna see Jungkook just... not in my house okay. I didn’t like him with you...in  my  house.”
I turned around to stare at him.
“What do you think I was doing with him in  your  house Taehyung? He came over to help because Yugyeom was busy. You were the one who asked him to check up on me....weren’t you?”
Taehyung ran his fingers through his hair. 
“I don’t fucking know...all I know is that my wolf smelled you and another alpha and-”
“You know you’re the only were who speaks like that...” I said angrily.
Taehyung blinked.
“Like what?”
“Like you and your wolf are two different entities. Like you can do any thing you want and then blame your damn wolf for it. And its beginning to piss me off.” 
Taehyung flinched at that.
“I’m just... I’m trying to do this in a way that our lives don’t get fucked up. I can’t... Your father....”
“I know. I know my fucking father is a scumbag and that he needs to rot in hell and I am willing to help you do it. But if only you could just.... give me a fucking break .,...” 
“I know...and I’m sorry. I just... I’m in a mess. Your father got rid of three of the dealers we could tie him to and it looks like there are other people involved in this whole thing. Other powerful men. I’m just... I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to do this without getting someone close to your father.”
I stared at him.
“Well, its not me. He hates my guts... He would never confide in me.”
“But he has a soft spot for a really close friend of mine....I believe you’ve met him....his name is Cha Eun Woo.”
I froze. 
“Taehyung....”  I groaned in disbelief. 
“I wanted to ask you if you would pretend to date Cha Eun Woo...”
I felt like my head was about to splinter in two. 
“Just long enough for me to get the info I need. Eun Woo is good at what he does and he can easily get into your father’s good graces, get him to confide in him and we could bring this entire fucking racket down...but the only way Eun woo could have access to your father would be through you.... “ 
Taehyung sounded desperate as he spoke, and I felt dangerously close to crying. 
“So it wasn’t enough that you got to fuck me? You’re just gonna pimp me out to your friends now...” I choked out.
“Fucking hell, Rae...That’s not what this is....This is for the...”
“Greater good.....yeah... I know.... I fucking heard you today morning on the fucking phone...Telling your friend how you had to suffer through a night with me for the greater good. And that's just perfectly fine....what I really don’t understand is why you had to fucking pretend like you actually gave a shit about me.... “ I  choked out , my eyes dampening against my wishes . 
Taehyung froze, eyes wide. 
Something awfully close to pity began to swim in them and I swallowed the bile rising up my throat. 
“Fine. Tell your fucking friend to come pick me up.” 
I couldn’t bring myself to even look at him. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s Note : Feedback is love.
Let me know what you guys thought. 
Taglist : @veronawrites
@ladyartemesia
@jincentvangogh
@bonyg
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paranaturalpop · 4 years ago
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I shoot awake some nights thinking about the brilliance of the hitball arc. It gets so increasingly absurd as it goes on. It has the pacing of the most over-the-top Shōnen sports manga. Alliances are formed, secrets are revealed, characters have entire emotional arcs after which they are fundamentally different. and ITS JUST A GAME OF DODGE BALL. The stakes are real, people actually get hurt, but the characters remain within the bounds of the rules of this game of dodge ball to the point of braking a kid's arm for it. The whole class cloud of turned on Hijack right away like they do at the end because of the golden switch, but they don’t, because their in that middle school mind set of not having ‘permission’. OF COURSE no one goes and gets a teacher (except violet). Of course everyone keeps following the rules. it’s ridiculous, its satire of itself.
and then, later, we learn why this all happened. The big bad, the ‘insidious infiltrator’… is a kid. He’s a kid too. He went along with this convoluted high-stakes game and broke Max’s arm because he’s a child. He didn’t know any better.
its the same story if you flip perspective from the activity club to hijack. Instead of this grand show of camaraderie against and intruder it becomes Hijack's big heroic solo showdown against a crew of bullies and their misguided enablers.
One of the things that's so great about Zack Morrison’s righting is that every character is a fully fleshed out individual with their own clear motivations. Every kid in that hittable arc is viewing themselves as the ‘hero’ of this story. Max, Dimitri and Izzy are fighting an ‘insidious’ paranormal intruder, Johnny and Cody are protecting their friends, the student council is upholding their duty to the school rules, and Hijack is on a super-secret mission to help his mom ‘save the world’. Everyone has good intentions, but they’re opposed anyway.
The hitball arc isn’t just satire of over-the top kids media, its very literal. These character’s immaturity and self-centered thinking leads to this real over-the-top ordeal that could have been prevented at anytime.
Its the same thing Isaac (who was conspicuously absent from this arc) struggles with all the time. He sees himself as a constantly victimized potential hero and is struggling to reconcile that self-image with his actual actions witch are… consistently less than heroic. He’s not the nicest person. He wants to be, but just like Hijack, he’s sees life as a TV show or comic where he’s the main character, and everyone else is with him or against him. It’s not a coincidence that Hijack and Isaac finally meeting was so climatic. They where both essentially at the same stage in their very similar arcs. They both hurt Isabel and Max specifically! Hijack and Isabel had their moment of understanding, followed by Isaac apologizing to max, and Isabel reaching out to Isaac. Everyone has to learn to see things from other’s perspective, witch may sound trite to adult readers, but be honest, how good where you at that in middle school? and you didn't even have to fight body-snatchers ever probably!
It was a perfect choice to leave the audience out of the loop on what Hijack’s ‘deal’ was. He looked and acted like a monster! We were all rooting for the characters we already knew and liked! We had to learn to step out of our main character centric thinking at the same time that the actual characters did.
oof this is all really rambley and i don’t think I’m even getting my point across. basically what i’m saying is:
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Disclaimer: Vice-principal is an exception to all of this. idk what the fudge her deal is and I hope I never know. A full adult watched all that hitball stuff happen and pretended to be a floating child the whole time instead of the authority figure she really is who could have just stopped it all immediately. She did this to get info on someone who might have done stunts on a bus???? NO layers JUST villainy.
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teatimecrumpetsandsugar · 4 years ago
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freefall (voltron; pidge/lance)
Heyo! This story is based on a request from @jabbloo​ !
Hi!! I'm not sure if this is the right place for it, but I couldn't find your ask box AJDKSKDS ; I'd like to request Pidge/Lance discovering a planet where it's very lush and green and full of plant life, and it turns out you can essentially snowboard on slippery algae hills, so they grab some boards and go at it!! :D thank you for your consideration!! ❤️❤️
I’m gonna write this to the best of my ability for you- thank you so much for making a request! for the record, if you don’t see an ask box anywhere it’s because I’m really new to Tumblr and have no idea how to do any of this- I set up the request post with the instruction of a friend, so I’m hoping I learn over time! Anyway, onto the story :D
Btw, feel free to let me know if I didn’t touch on the prompt the way you wanted and I’m happy to go back and rewrite it or make a part two- I actually had a ton of fun writing this and wouldn’t mind doing more of it!
/                                                                                                            \
“It’s really... green,” Pidge comments, grimacing at the monitor, “Are you sure anything sentient lives there? I’m not seeing any signs of manmade structures here.”
Allura tilts her head slowly, “Maybe we’re missing something? I mean, the beacon definitely came from here, so there has to be some kind of civilization...” She gestures her hand towards the surface uncertainly, “...Somewhere.”
Pidge glances back at the rest of the team, cocking an eyebrow, “Do we go?”
Most of the team seems just as unsure, but, when her gaze locks on Lance’s, she sees a sparkle in his cobalt blue irises. She heaves a sigh, fondly rolling her eyes at his exaggerated pout, “What do you think, Lance?”
A wide, toothy grin takes up residence on his face, and he turns to the rest of the Paladins with an enthusiasm she wishes he’d have for any other important discussions, “It’s so pretty there, you guys!” He pauses, seeming to realize that isn’t a valid argument, and tries again, “If there really is a community there asking to join the coalition and we don’t go, it wouldn’t look good for us. Plus, it’s gorgeous and wouldn’t be a bad place to see up close- please, please, please can we go?”
Pidge turns her gaze back to the monitor, taking in the thick foliage and sprawling canopies of leaves they can see just from a satellite image of the small planet- it is objectively pretty, and she can’t fight the smile that tugs at her lips as she imagines the delight on Lance’s face. One was arguably more beautiful than the other, but that was more a matter of opinion than anything else, really.
She turns to Allura, hesitant, but the older woman already has a pleased smile on her face, “Lance is right- we should go, just to make sure it’s really empty.”
/ /                                                                                                        \ \
It really is just as beautiful as it was on the monitor.
When the airlock opens, a burst of warm, sweet-smelling air hits her face, trees almost as big as the castle itself surrounding them. The warm orange light of the planet’s solar entity breaks through the thick canopy of leaves sparingly, forming cracks of blazing light on the forest floor, yet, somehow, there are flowers and grasses of all kind flourishing everywhere underfoot.
She can’t help but marvel as she realizes that all of these trees must be thousands- or perhaps even millions- of years old, small creatures nesting all along them and forming a glorious symphony of chirps, purrs, and soft buzzes of all kind around them.
She turns to look at Lance, marveling at the way the rich, blazing orange light hits his face, defining his each and every feature in a way that takes her breath away- the blue of his eyes is even more captivating than normal, twinkling with complete, blinding euphoria.
He smiles brightly, barking out a short, giddy laugh before snatching Pidge’s hand from her side and taking off running towards the trees. His excitement is contagious, even as she stumbles over her own feet trying to keep up with his long strides, and she finds herself laughing loudly as she follows after him.
It takes a while to weave completely through the trees, but, when they do, he stops suddenly, peering out over a vast cliff. She runs straight into his back from her own momentum, clinging to him in surprise when she realizes the ground is a lot more slippery here than it was in the woods. Curiously, she peaks around his tall, lean frame, a soft gasp pulling itself from her throat as she sees what’s on the other side.
The hill they stand on is steep, overlooking a vast basin and another sprawling forest, the orange sun shining high in the sky over the horizon and reflecting perfectly off of the shallow water in the center of the serene area. The shore is lush and green, dotted with colorful pinpricks Pidge can tell are flowers even from miles away, and the world seems to be at her fingertips, completely still and perfect in that moment.
She’s caught off-guard when the ground under their shoes begins to give under their combined weight, suddenly beginning to slide- Lance suddenly topples over, dragging her down with him with his grip on her hand, and the two of them soon find themselves sliding down the hill at a high speed. She cries out in surprise, followed by his hectic, raucous cackling as they plummet towards the ground at breakneck speeds, only to follow the hill’s gentle slope and slide to a stop on the basin’s shore.
For a moment, they’re both completely silent in surprise, laying on their backs with their gazes locked on the rich, pink-hued sky and rich violet water lapping gently at their ankles, breathing heavily from the sudden motion.
And then Pidge starts laughing. At first, they’re subdued little giggles, fits and spurts of amusement tickling at her throat, before she realizes how absurd it’d been and truly begins laughing, eyes crinkling at the corners and chest heaving, breath stuttering with each unceremonious snort that creeps in. Lance turns his face to the side to watch her in awe, a crooked grin slowly rising to meet his eyes and his own bright, delighted laugh breaking from his chest in a moment that’s truly absurdly them.
“It’s algae!” Pidge cries breathlessly, nose flushing pink from her stuttered breaths and warm brown eyes falling shut, “I was wondering why the grass got so slippery, but it was never grass at all! This body of water was probably formed by water running under the surface- it’s probably also why the grass and plants are surviving without enough sunlight!” She grins in realization, excited by the discovery, “This planet is at least 65% land-dwelling algae but it all looks so natural I didn’t even notice at first!”
She opens her eyes again, slowly turning to look at Lance, expecting to find him confused or asleep, but, to her surprise, he’s watching her with rapt attention. Her nose wrinkles in confusion, confused discomfort pressing against her chest, before he gives her a ridiculous smirk and says, “I love when you talk biology to me.”
She stifles a loud, surprised snort, laughing brightly until she registers the edge of honest reverence lurking just beneath it and her breath catches, “I like that you listen, even when you don’t get it.”
He pauses, unsure how to continue now that he’s gotten this far, before perking up suddenly, “You wanna go snowboarding on it, Pidge?” She squawks out a laugh, sitting up, “Would it even be snowboarding if it’s algae? Isn’t that just... algae-boarding?”
He pouts playfully, and she rolls her eyes fondly, “I’m just messing with you, Lance. We gotta find boards first, though...”
The pout is gone faster than it appeared, an excited smile taking its place as he shoots to his feet, pulling her up with him, “Come on! Come on, come on, come on- we gotta find something to use as a board, Pidge!”
She laughs again, letting him pull her along back towards the castle, knowing it’d only get more and more hectic as the day went on and looking forward to every second of it as long as he was by her side.
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cloudywriter · 4 years ago
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i never got to say i love you - 3
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honestly no idea how this actually worked out but i did find it in me to pick it up where i had left off. i’ll keep working on this story and see where it goes but i think i have a few ideas. it’s not very long but it’s a start ya know. it looks nice right now too but don’t worry the angst will be there soon. xoxo
masterlist, main masterlist, AO3
~~~
From that fateful night on, Feyre spent all of her free time in the art building’s studio not even returning to her dorm until long after dark. Quite frankly, she was a little embarrassed. She showed up outside of Mor’s door fully prepared to ask her to please quiet down only to be reminded of how ridiculously dressed she was and then to top it all off after that all she did was stare at Rhysand until she ran off stuttering like a fool which was so unlike her. 
She had a close call one afternoon in the dining hall but was able to make a speedy escape. 
Of course, the one time she decided she should work and study somewhere that wasn’t the art studio she ended up in the library. It had been fine until they strutted in, strolling down the center of the library as if it it was a catwalk. A group of girls next to her looked up at them, giggling and blushing, and quickly averted their gazes when Cassian shot them a swift wink. 
Feyre just kept her head down, trying to concentrate on the book of art history in front of her but just knowing he was in the same room as her, that she was in his vicinity had her mind unable to comprehend anything but that fact. Should she just stand up and leave? Would that draw more attention to herself? 
She quickly deduced she could not wiggle her way out of this one. 
Feyre propped up her textbook in hopes it would shield most of her face while she finished up the chapter and then she promised herself she could make her leave. 
The scraping of a chair across the tile floor informed her she was not going to be so lucky. She zoned in on the words in front of her, she was not going to look up.
“Art history,” a voice read aloud.
Feyre looked up and arched an eyebrow at the man in front of her. “Congrats, you can read.”
“Are you an art major?” He asked, leaning back in his chair.
“I could be or maybe I just enjoy a little art history. What are you majoring in making obvious observations?”
“Is that a new major? Because I’ll admit I’d love to take it up,” Cassian commented, crossing his arms and tucking his fist underneath his chin.
Feyre didn’t deign to respond instead she leaned further back in her chair once again focusing on the textbook. 
That was until the remaining members of the trio wandered up to Feyre’s table as well.
Cassian turned around a little and gestured to Feyre, “Hey guys, I’m just hanging with my girl, Fey. You know, the one who came to yell at us last week and then drooled over Rhys.”
Feyre slammed her book flat on the table, “I did not drool!”
Cassian shrugged, “I don’t know I think I had to whip up a few drops after you left.” 
Feyre just knew her bright red face betrayed her. 
Rhys only laughed, a deep, sultry laugh that sounded the way expensive velvet felt. “It’s alright Feyre, darling, I’m used to it obviously.”
“Oh, don’t call me darling,” Feyre sighed, burying her face in her hands. Rhysand only smirked in response, drumming his fingers on the edge of the desk. 
Azriel and Cassian were hunched over, studying something on Cassian’s phone while Feyre desperately tried to pretend they weren’t there. Rhys kept on drumming his fingers, completely disrupting Feyre, to be fair she was dyslexic and she required quiet in order to sit and read. 
Feyre reached out her hand, holding a pencil, and wacked Rhysand’s fingers. “Stop it!” She whisper-yelled at him. 
“Feyre, darling, you wound me,” he purred, leaning back to slip his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. On almost anyone else Feyre would’ve thought the leather jacket looked stupid but it just worked on Rhysand. 
Rhysand was quiet for a moment when he spoke back up, “What does one do with an art degree?” 
Feyre lifted her eyes from the page in front of her, “Gods, you sound like my sister.”
Rhys cracked a smile at that, “I don’t mean it in a negative way, of course, just curious.” 
“I just want to spend the rest of my life doing something I love and I happen to love painting. I know it's not the standard but I wouldn’t be happy in a 9 to 5 desk job,” Feyre explained. 
Rhys nodded, he looked as though that statement had resonated with him.
At that moment both Cassian and Azriel stood up, “Hey, Rhys, Mor is texting us that she wants to meet at Rita’s for lunch. You coming?” 
Feyre glanced up, making direct eye contact with Rhys, “No,” he says in a husky voice, still looking into her eyes, “I think I’ll stay.” Feyre concentrates on her book again, a small, secret smile poised on her lips. Cassian and Azriel make their exit with knowing glances passed between them. 
Cassian and Azriel had only been gone for around five minutes, Feyre was trying her hardest to appear unruffled by Rhysand’s presence, her eyes glued to her book though they weren’t reading a thing. Rhys then broke the silence, “Are you hungry?” 
Feyre raised an eyebrow, “Are you?”
“Famished.”
“Strange, pretty sure I saw you turn down an invite to lunch a few minutes ago,” she replied simply. 
“I go to lunch everyday with Az, Mor, and Cas, but I don’t go to lunch with you, Feyre, darling. I thought I might switch it up.”
Feyre gave him her best unimpressed expression even though her heart was pumping in her chest. “You’re a shameless flirt.” 
“Well, what do you say?”
Despite Feyre finding Rhysand annoyingly attractive she was hesitant to accept his invitation. She had just transferred schools, she was in the market for some friends, but the haunting memory of her failed relationship crept in like a spider knitting a web of doubt. 
Feyre banished that spider, “Fine.”
+++
Rhys had taken Feyre to a cute little coffee shop that served the best sandwiches in Prythian as Rhysand had claimed. Feyre didn’t have any room to disagree. Their conversation came easy, it felt natural, not stiff like the beginning of most budding friendships. They argued, joked, and even poked fun at each other the entire time. 
Rhysand continued with his brazen, flirty attitude and persistent usage of the endearment ‘darling’ much to Feyre’s dismay. It was irritating but charming, it just seemed to be wholly Rhys. 
Now, Rhys and Feyre were walking side by side back towards the dorm buildings. The conversation proceeded to flow easily. When they were about to enter the courtyard adjoining the separate dorm buildings, Rhys flopped onto a bench just a little ways off the sideway. Feyre raised her eyebrow at him. 
“Sit, darling. All this walking after eating and I’ll get a cramp,” he reasoned. 
Feyre rolled her eyes, it certainly wasn’t that but she entertained him. She took a spot a little bit down the bench from him and leaned her head back, staring up at the tree overhead and the afternoon sun beaming through its leaves. 
A question popped into Feyre’s mind and she pivoted towards Rhys, “What are you majoring in?”
Rhys’s beautiful face turned into a grimace as he turned his attention from the same tree back to her. 
“Business,” he finally supplied.
“You seem disappointed by that,” Feyre commented. Rhysand looked away as his head bobbed in a noncommittal yes. 
“I wanted to major in English, really. I love books, stories, even poetry as mind boggling as it may be sometimes,” Rhys let out a small chuckle, mostly to himself. “I love language too, the way you can manipulate and articulate it, it’s remarkable. I would be more than content to pour over books the rest of my life or share my passion for stories and language with others.”
“Then why do business?” Feyre knew she was probably prying but her curious nature always got the best of her. 
“My father,” Rhys admitted. “He’s a businessman you know, convinced it's always the way to go whether you truly enjoy it or not. Doesn’t matter if you’re happy if you have a stable job and are making good money in his eyes. Not to mention, he demands I work with him at his company after school. I lost the will to fight him on it, just easier to appease him at this point. Books will still be there.”
Feyre let the words hang in the air between them. She knew, of course, the feeling of being unsupported but still her family hadn’t forced her hand. Feyre reached out, resting her hand lightly over Rhysand’s in silent support while still giving him the option to pull away. 
He didn’t. He wrapped her small hand in his own and turned his head toward her. 
The wind tousled his black hair back and forth with each turn of its direction. In the sun’s light his eyes were bright, framed by thick lashes. Feyre wished she could freeze time and pull out her paints to capture the image. The overwhelming desire to do so took Feyre by surprise. Since leaving for Velaris that deep yearning to paint a particular scene, a moment of inspiration so strong it paralyzed her, hadn’t been prominent. Truly, it hadn’t been there for a while. She usually had to force out a drawing or painting for an assignment. 
Then Rhys gave her a gentle smile, it looked how Feyre imagined touching clouds would feel. It brought a funny feeling to her stomach. 
“Do what makes you happy, Rhys, always,” she added so quietly she thought her words might’ve been blown away by the breeze before they even reached his ears. 
Yet, Rhys squeezed her hand the smallest bit. 
~~~
well this is for you @maybekindasortaace​
let me know if you wanted to be added to my feysand taglist or my rowaelin taglist or both, ya know 
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rivalsforlife · 4 years ago
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thoughts on aai2?
oh no I don’t know if I’ll be able to think of anything mean to say because I love aai2 with all my heart, it makes me feel so much.
It really feels like a love letter to Miles Edgeworth’s character and really digs into him and his motivations and history and then centers an entire game around that. The central question of “should he be a defense attorney or stay as a prosecutor?” is one that’s probably been on a lot of people’s minds since the first game when he makes that comment to Phoenix, and even moreso after T&T where he pretends to be a defense attorney on Phoenix’s behalf. And aai2 not only comes up with an answer to that but also gives justification for that answer in a way that’s extremely heartwarming and absolutely fits Miles’ ideals of Truth And Justice, as well as showing how exactly he would NOT be fit to be a defense attorney (that one dialogue in the Imprisoned Turnabout where he’s talking about finding the truth of the case and then Kay jumps in and says “but Mr. Edgeworth, remember we’re not just doing this for the truth, we’re doing it to save Simon!” meanwhile Miles... completely forgot about that.)
I feel like anyone reading this should already know that I’m going to be getting into very spoilery territory with this and I will tag it accordingly, so I’m just gonna go for it: Simon Keyes. What a villain. Not only is he a surprise villain but one that you can sort of see coming, his motivations are sympathetic and he’s an excellent foil to Miles (which the game itself points out) plus he is so so so good at targeting everyone’s emotional weakness, which is like my favourite thing from a writing standpoint, when you get to see the villain talking and they make some comment and you shout “YEAH HE HAS A POINT” in the audience. The game tries to brush it over, but I hear you, Simon, and you’re so right. 
“You will focus on the truths most convenient to you to prove your argument?” That’s like basic human confirmation bias, but also something that the games tend to do a LOT, and Miles had done quite a bit of throughout the game. Kay’s found on the roof with all this evidence on her? It must be planted, there’s no way his dear little Kay could be a murderer. But once it turns against Simon, Miles isn’t as interested in saving him, he just needs to keep “turning things around” to fit his line of logic so far.
“You never really cared about saving me, you just wanted to pretend to be a defense attorney like your father?” Maybe Miles did care a bit about saving him, but it’s quite clear he’d completely abandon Simon and turn against him if it turned out the truth wasn’t on his side. Plus, he wanted to explore that history Gregory left him, the childhood dreams he’d been forced to abandon. But he has changed as a person, since then, and he can’t completely go back to the person he used to be, but he can still grow and escape the worst of himself, and take that trauma inflicted upon him and use it to fight against the corruption he was molded to perpetuate!! UGH it’s so good I am feeling things about Miles Edgeworth again.
The new characters are also excellent for developing his character. Ray is the connection to Gregory and as a result Miles’ childhood that Miles hasn’t had in such a long time, and is able to provide him with guidance on his past while challenging him on if he wants to pursue it. (Seriously, get rid of the creepy jokes and Ray would definitely be one of my favourite characters.) Justine is a parallel to AA1-Miles, still believing blindly in the system and thinking it will always dispense justice (just look at how the reveal that MvK forged evidence for a false verdict shakes her) -- she still has a strong sense of justice, but it’s restricted by her faith in the rule of law. Sebastian is like Bratworth, in a way, naïve and being used by a father-figure in order to enact their own agenda, and in the end, is forced to learn that person never had his best interests in heart and learn how to move on from that as a prosecutor, despite that person being the one who put them on the prosecutor’s path to begin with... pretty much figuring out how to reshape their destiny.
And the game doesn’t just focus on these characters, it focuses on all the bonds Miles has with these people, and also explores the various ways a parent-child bond can present itself (healthily, unhealthily, complicated or not so much, biological or adopted) and the influences of that on the children. From Miles+Greg to Sebastian+Blaise, even Franziska+MvK, Kate+Jeff, John+Justine, even Simon+Dogen vs Simon+Gustavia... the game spends so much time fleshing these out and their impacts on the people involved. It’s also just a game about human relationships in general. Miles learning how to express himself properly to say thanks, or say how much people mean to him. Miles showing actual respect for Gumshoe. Gumshoe finding his own reasons for being a detective that’s not just about helping Miles. Franziska learning how to move on from what her father did to decide her own path. Miles and Kay, I hope everyone knows how strongly I feel about Miles and Kay, that father-daughter type bond has a permanent place in my heart now. Kay, who is lost and clinging to this image of her father as a Great Thief and trying to follow in his footsteps to be a hero just like him, and then deciding in the end to make her own path in life. Sebastian feeling lost and alone and abandoned but finding the courage to stand up with the support of the people who care about him. Miles being a pillar of unwavering support for these two kids, who he can see so much of himself in, trying to set them on a better path in life. And I can’t forget Phoenix, who doesn’t ever appear and isn’t mentioned by name, but whose influence you can feel through all of Miles’ actions, as the man who saved him, who showed him the value of bonds between people, who, in essence, taught him how to love and be loved and open his heart to others again!
This game has so much love in it, it’s really about love -- platonic love, familial love, the absence of love and what affect that has on people like Simon, how love can save others from turning down darker paths, the extent that love can drive people to do ridiculous things to save those they care about, how love can change people for better or for worse, how it can be a vulnerability but also a strength. It has one of the things I really love about AA, this focus on bonds that aren’t romantic, because none of the major relationships focused on in the game are romantic but you can still feel so much love that all of these characters have for each other.
WOW this is going on a while I should probably stop. I have a lot of feelings about this game. I just wrote more instances of “love” than I ever think I have before. Um, in conclusion, I love this game? Like it has its flaws (pacing issues... all the jokes Ray makes...) but overall it’s probably the game that makes me feel the most, every single time I watch a playthrough or play it myself (totaling several times now) I just find more to love and it still always makes me feel things. I honestly don’t know if I can be objective about it haha. 
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five-rivers · 5 years ago
Text
Not the King
Danny isn't the Ghost King. Really, he isn't. He doesn't know what they've been telling you, but it's not true.  @imperfection-at-itsfinest
.
.
.
"I'm not the Ghost King," said Danny.
Danielle blinked up at him. "But-" she said.
"I'm not," insisted Danny, glaring at the two one-eyed ghosts that had brought her here. "I don't know what they told you, but I am not the Ghost King. I mean, I'm not even a full ghost. I'm still in high school. It would be ridiculous to make me Ghost King, right? It would be insane, right?"
"I-" said Dani, taking in her surroundings, the high ceilings, the dais, the green-burning torches on the wall, the green plush carpet on the floor beneath her feet. "Where are we?"
"Nowhere," said Danny, too quickly.
"The palace of the High King of All Ghosts," answered one of the eye ghosts.
Danny glared. "She wasn't asking you," he said.
"Well," said Dani, "it was more of a general question, honestly. So, you have a palace, now, huh?"
"It is not a palace. And I don't have it. This is just- just an administrative building."
"Danny, there's a throne."
"An administrative throne. It's kind of like the office chair of the Ghost Zone."
"Infinite Realms," corrected one of the eyeballs.
"This is like... A lobby. A reception lobby," continued Danny. "Completely normal, so you can go now."
"Is it normal to be chained to administrative thrones?" asked Dani. Because he was. Chained, that is. They were glowing green and probably phase proof both to humans and ghosts.
"Yes."
"So, you don't need to be rescued?"
"No, I'm fine. I always escape eventually. This is the fifth time."
One of the eyeball ghosts turned to Dani. "Please. We're begging you. Talk some sense into him."
Honestly, where were their mouths? Did they even have mouths?
"I'm perfectly full of sense, thanks. You're the ones who're nonsensical."
"He's been like this for months," said the other one-eyed ghost, mournfully.
Dani looked between Danny, chained to the throne, and the one-eyed ghosts. "Talk some sense into him about what?"
"About his kingship!" The ghost spread his hands wide.
"I'm not a king! I'm a C-average student from America and I'm not even dead yet!"
"Yes, you are! You died years ago! Why are you making this so difficult?" shouted one of the ghosts.
"Doesn't count! I came back!"
"You celebrated your deathday last year!"
"Danny," said Dani, cautiously, "you're wearing a crown."
"Isn't a crown," said Danny, shaking his head, furiously.
"Then what is it?" asked Dani, genuinely curious as to what he'd come up with, but also starting to be concerned.
A bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face. "It's, uh, it's a hat."
"Pretty fancy hat."
"Well, it is a ghost hat."
"It is not just a hat!" growled one of the eyeball ghosts. "It shows your position as-"
"Final dispute arbiter!" shouted Danny, drowning out the other ghost. "It's the ceremonial hat of the final dispute arbiter, but I really don't want the job. Too much paperwork. Too much, uh, reception work."
"Reception work where you're tied to a throne."
"Office chair, but yes. I keep telling them I don't want it. They won't listen."
Dani looked between Danny and the other ghosts once again.
"Can I have one of the rooms in your palace?"
.
"So, uh," said Dani, phasing through the wall into Jazz's room, "I heard that Danny is not the Ghost King."
"Yeah," said Jazz, not looking up from her formidable book, "we've all heard."
"What's up with that?"
"Oh, you know, just Danny being Danny, honestly." There was an edge of worry there.
"He doesn't actually believe all that about office chairs, does he?"
"If you're asking me if he's delusional, the answer is yes," said Jazz.
"Stop making fun of me!" yelled Danny from the other room.
"Stop eavesdropping on me with your super-hearing!" Jazz shouted back.
"It isn't my fault these walls are paper thin!"
Jazz rolled her eyes. "Anyway, he knows what's going on. He just doesn't want to know."
"Right. And for those of us who don't know?"
"Didn't the Observants tell you?"
"The who?" asked Dani.
"Eyeball ghosts. Very pushy."
"Oh. Yeah. Mostly they just yelled at Danny."
Jazz rolled her eyes and put aside her book. The title was Common Law in the Infinite Realms.
"The Ghost Zone needs a king," started Jazz.
Danny stuck his head through the wall. "It got along perfectly fine without one for hundreds of years."
Jazz, without taking her eyes off Dani, removed her shoe and threw it at Danny. It hit, dead center, and the ghost boy withdrew, shoe in his mouth.
"Nice aim," said Dani.
"Hey!" said Jazz. "Give me back my shoe!"
The offended article flew through the wall and landed neatly on Jazz's bed.
"Anyway," she said. "The Ghost Zone needs a king. Or wants a king. Or maybe it's just the Observants who want one. Either way, by ghost law, Danny's the rightful king because he beat Pariah Dark in single combat."
"Okay, that's cool. So, why doesn't he want to be Ghost King?"
"I think mainly he doesn't want to be responsible for a whole universe full of people."
Dani nodded. That would do it.
"So, he's in denial."
"Yeah. That, and I think he thinks that he can negotiate his title down if he tries hard enough. Of course, he won't talk to me about it, because he has an irrational fear that, if he acknowledges that it's happening, he'll be trapped."
"Well, I mean, that's reasonable," said Dani. "A lot of ghost things are actually like that."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Like, Danny and I are officially cousins, because that's what we said we are."
"Huh. I guess I hadn't gotten to that part yet," said Jazz, glaring at her book as though it had done her a great personal wrong.
"Maybe the crown thing also is supposed to do something," suggested Dani. "Like, if he says, 'okay, fine, I'm the Ghost King,' it binds to him or something? Like, maybe it melts on to his head, and he can't get it off? It is on fire."
"Wow. Thank you for that horrifying image that will never leave my brain," said Jazz. "Thankfully, that probably won't happen. Didn't happen to the last guy."
.
"If you're the king, does that mean I'm a princess?"
"I'm not a king," said Danny, glaring down at his homework. He furrowed his brow thoughtfully. "Technically, I'm a knight."
"What, really?" asked Dani, flipping herself so that she was sitting upright in the air. "Since when?"
"Dora knighted me. It was a while ago. I guess that'd make you a lady, then."
"Does that mean you can sword fight?" asked Dani.
"Yeah. She had one of her other knights teach me. I beat Vlad in a sword fight, a couple of times. He likes to think he's good, but he really isn't."
"Wow, you just described, like, fifty percent of his personality."
Danny snorted.
.
"I hear Danny has a new job," said Dani, squeezing in-between Tucker and Sam as they walked to school.
On the other side of Sam, Danny groaned loudly.
"Oh, yeah, we all know," said Tucker.
"We figure it's only a matter of time before ghosts start showing up at the school to congratulate him. Or, you know, fight him for the crown," said Sam.
Danny got a contemplative look on his face.
"Don't you dare lose on purpose," warned Sam.
"But, just imagine, the Box Ghost-"
"No. Remember Pandora's box?" asked Sam.
Danny deflated.
"You know," said Dani. "You probably won't even have to do anything. Like you said, there hasn't been a Ghost King in ages."
"You don't understand," said Danny. "The Observants hate me. The only reason they'd want me to do something like this is because there's baggage. Well, I'm not doing it."
"So, it isn't just because you think the title will do something to you?"
"Better safe than sorry, right?" said Danny. "If they are going to force me into... something, then I'm not getting extra supernatural hooks set into me because of the job title. Last thing I need is some kind of fine-print that means I have to let the Observants run my life. No way. They're not getting me like that."
A ghost portal opened up underneath Danny's feet, and he fell.
.
Dani found him tied to the throne again, crown floating over his hair. He looked absolutely livid. So did the several dozen Observants glaring at him.
"You must take up the title!" said one of the Observants, angrily.
"No," said Danny. "I'm not the Ghost King. I'm not going to be the Ghost King. Find someone who actually wants to do it!"
"There is no one else who can do it!"
Dani cleared her throat. All eyes turned to her.
"Look, have none of you people ever heard of a compromise?"
.
Sam, Tucker, and Jazz were waiting in front of the Fenton Portal when they got back. Danny had sulked the whole way.
"Well," said Jazz. "What happened?"
"I'm not the Ghost King," said Danny, sullenly. He flew up through the ceiling.
"You'd think he'd be happier about that," said Tucker, looking up.
"Is he king now, after all?" asked Sam.
"Nah," said Dani. "He's the Ghost Prince. I'm a princess, now, by the way, so you have to call me 'your highness.'"
"I'm not doing that," said Sam.
"That's fair."
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leatherbookmarking · 3 years ago
Text
fuck that ! im gonna talk about them deadboyz!! shame is for the WEAK
overall:
belong to a much less known subsidiary company of jinhit no jgs isn’t worth the joke entertainment. if they were in any other company they would be super rookies but jgs is keeping them in the basement and it’s not even his own basement
initially i think there were some high stakes in it for jgy...? something like ‘you produce the songs and make their chores and if you flop you’ll never be on stage again’ but?? i don’t know now tbh
would have been really popular (they are Good) but less known company, etc, and also some rumors around the time of their debut made it so they’re only knows because ‘they’re kinda good at dancing aren’t they’
general concept is uh... cool dudes, kinda fucky but not too much...? gotta think about the baby (a-yu)
THE MEMBERS: meng yao (leader, main dancer, vocalist), wen chao (oldest, main rapper), su she (main vocal, dancer), xue yang (rapper, dancer, unofficially: moodmaker, if by ‘mood’ you understand ‘horror at whatever has just come out of his hellish mouth), wen ning (dancer, vocalist, sometimes rapper), mo xuanyu (vocalist, the Baby™)
MENG YAO:
leader, single-handedly responsible for making these rowdy boys (wc&xy) stop wanting to kill each other
has probably auditioned for every single company there is. was in the nie company for a bit, but it was still a mess freshly after the previous owner, nmj’s father, has died, nmj has struggled (being a producer, not a businessman) so when it turned out they’d have to let some trainees go, the other trainees made it so meng yao was the one to leave. then he temporarily was at wrh’s company where he got kind-of-semi-famous as one of wen qing’s main back dancers (the one she’s interacted with the most) during her last performance. then the company went kaputt and jgs has snatched him off for himself, and then... put him... in the basement.... for two years... after which he gave him a chance, and voila
insanely hard-working. an all-rounder. mainly he excels at dancing, but his vocal and rap skills also Fuck. persona? impeccable. he’s learning to write and compose his own songs and he’s doing well, but he can’t even upload his stuff on soundcloud, because... you know why. has doubled as a manager in their early days. also, dimples.
the fans had tried to make a dad/mom dynamic with him and uh... wen chao...? since they were the oldest and pretty much the opposites, but quickly gave up and he’s now simply known as yao-ge due to his stern but loving persona. (yao-jie, sometimes)
DOES do the split. it was his rookie trick for a year after they debuted, but he simply is just like that. one show host asked him “is there definite proof that you have bones?“ and meng yao only shrugged humbly
WEN CHAO
oldest, has been a trainee for the longest time, hasn’t debuted because... well... he wasn’t good... and that was because he’s felt too safe in his dad’s company. WELL ABOUT THAT,
his older brother wen xu has debuted Long before him, but after a few years his group disbanded, he moved on to modeling and then stopped after a couple of years, too. (he got married.)
you know how i said their image is ‘cool, a bit fucky’? well, he’s 40% of that fuckiness. he’s been told again and again that idols aren’t supposed to date/have dating experience, but he still can’t get the hang of it
yes, he and jiaojiao were an item back in the wen days. she’s a trainee at some other company now but they still hook up sometimes
initially was intent on maintaining a cool, calm and collected image... then he met xue yang and threw that idea outta the window. paradoxically, they’re interesting together, not only as rappers but also as... high-energy, chaotic energy makers of the group...
this is a happy au, so: initially he’s thought everything is bullshit, these talentless fucks are dumb and he should already be a top idol. by the time of their debut, he agrees that meng yao is one crafty motherfucker. a year after their debut, if anything happened to any of his boys, yes even xue yang, he would kill everyone in the room, etc, etc BUT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT.
SU SHE
unfortunately, was added before their first comeback (second release) and therefore controversial. fortunately, his vocal completes the group’s image and musical flavour
was a trainee in yinshen ent where he really admired their top idol, lan wangji, until... he got to know him (?) when they were sent to compete in a survival show and decided lan wangji ain’t shit and is, in fact, a stuck-up self-centered bitch. the survival show crashed (unrelatedly), but still some serious words were exchanged. during Some Company Problems, quite a lot of trainees have left, but he was the one who left with a Bang.
joined that one subsidiary of jin ent because of meng yao, who, just like in canon, recognized him, said he loved him in (song he’s performed in the survival show) and with this he cemented his position as su she’s new Boy Who Makes Him Go !!!!.
slowly replaced meng yao as The Man Who Does This Face at the other lads’ rowdy behaviour.
fans remember he was :/ at lan wangji, so his persona wouldn’t work anyway, but he does make quite a convincing kind dude-next-door.
stubborn side of the fandom’s next candidate for the mom member, because... he’s ridiculously prepared and reliable. who carries hydrogen peroxide in their daily use backpack? this boy !
it used to be rubbing alcohol but i had too many reasons to apply it internally, he once says mournfully, and this is how xue yang discovers he has a sense of humor, sort of
unfortunately, has the juiciest ass in the group. unfortunately, because
XUE YANG
responsible for: being inappropriate. the other 60% of fuckiness, really enjoys getting into wen chao’s personal space (since wen chao is That straight dude) and just... doing whatever to make su she Scandalized.
but he’s so cute we’ll forgive him. at least until the next time he does a surprise butt grab
very agile! dance line along with meng yao and wen ning. apparently he was a stunt guy...? apparently the lived in the streets...? apparently he went to the same dance school as meng yao...? no one knows his past. no one has seen his kid photos. did he go by another name...? insert the what are birds gif but make it who is xue yang.
adds sound effects to real life. also in his raps, sometimes
started hugging and initiating physical contact with people to assert dominance to be annoying, but ended up actually liking it, even though the one he does it comfortably with is meng yao. just like... back hugs? resting his chin over a-yao’s shoulder? it’s neat. sometimes a-yao pats his hand or taps his nose absent-mindedly and it’s super neat. if he notices you noticing it, though, he will BITE
most popular member, but everyone likes him for different reasons and has a different uhhh headcanon about potentially dating him. bad boy xue yang/cute bratty didi xue yang/sweet boyfriend xue yang, etc, etc
no one knows how, but apparently he knows the iconic duo from a small company, xiao xingchen and song lan...? or rather, song lan pretends not to know or notice him, meanwhile xiao xingchen is very cute when they’re interacting, and basically it prompts a lot of dating rumors, especially since they’ve been spotted having hotpot.
WEN NING
su she was the one to join last, but actually it’s wen ning who’s the least popular member. i’m just so quiet that people don’t notice me, haha, he says while being 180cm tall and having killer charisma when he dances
seriously, what’s up with that? it’s almost like he’s a different person, a possessed one to add to that. huh!
in contrast, his voice is very gentle and even cute, and he often sings quietly to himself. sometimes to other members (there’s a video of him singing what seems to be a lullaby to mxy), sometimes to little animals (there’s a video of him singing to a tiny frog he’s found during a walk). gentle boyfriend wen ning but it’s CANON
in contrast to the contrast, he doesn’t rap often, but when he does, it’s like... who’s that?? another member??? dualism king
when wc/xy cause problems on purpose, he doesn’t react/allows them to tease him/slap his ass/bump into him when they’re fighting. he seems like a calm, gentle guy so when they’re in a variety show and it’s Time For A Punishment, of course he gets to decide/wield the squeaky hammer, WHEREUPON ‘yang-ge, three weeks ago you ate my yoghurt even though i specifically asked you not to, so...’ (whacks xy’s ass into next tuesday)
nice, sculpted shoulders make for very good pillows
MO XUANYU
a Baby, but watch out: a horny one. fully on board with xue yang’s Inappropriate Ideas Of Entertainment. there’s a video of them doing some Rather Dirty dance moves while meng yao and su she make pained faces in the bg
fashion king. make-up king. none of his selfies are bare-faced, he always has some red eye shadow/blue eyelashes/yellow blush/black lipstick going on. sometimes even at the same time. paints his nails and toenails as well. somehow yao-gege doing his make-up makes him fall asleep one minute in. (cute)
his sincere smile is a 100% foolproof way to just... melt everyone’s hearts. in wen ning’s case: with a smile as well. meng yao and su she: an eyeroll (fond). xue yang and wen chao: ‘oh, fuck you’. but it DOES
most of the time though when he does sajiao it’s totally weird. (on purpose, on purpose)
tiny boy. skinny boy. once he turned to the side and vanished. even though most of the time in videos the other members sooner or later end up giving him food! (at some point wen chao says ‘it’s so that you’d shut up’, causing a-yu to start talking animatedly, spitting crumbs into his tea. serves him right)
has a potential to end up as a vocal god. currently however his favourite method of doing things with his voice is SCREAM
famously examines what things are by putting them in his mouth/licking them. he is a little creacher. he cannot change this
bites
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ladyonfire28 · 4 years ago
Video
youtube
An interview of Adèle in Cannes in 2017 for 120 battements par minute. 
A couple of people have asked me to translate it so I did it. Besides, what Adèle says about the violence that oppressed people experience and how it’s necessary to protest and be violent sometimes to be heard feels very relevant today...
0:01
Interviewer : “Hello Adèle Haenel - Hello - Happy to see you again for this very beautiful film 120 BPM. I was born in 1980 so I was little during the Act Up period but I watched it on TV and my mom would complain and say « another violent thing ». There was that bad reputation that didn’t correspond to the real purpose and activism of Act Up, which is something that I realized when I watched the film. And I wanted to know if you also had a bad image of it because of the media.”
Adèle : “Well first of all I think it’s very upsetting that we would call « violent » people that are oppressed. Because we can’t see the violence of the powerful people but it’s always there, through the barriers they’re putting. So it bothers me when we blame people who can only express themselves and be heard this way. So when we tell them « there’s other ways to say this ». Well no actually. Because there are things, if we just talk about it and we tell each other « see you in a month »  well in the meantime people are dying, and have their lives destroyed.”
“So the violence of Act Up is a symbolic violence. And yes we can discuss it and it’s discussed in general meetings, we see it in the film. But it’s a symbolic violence against real violence that is done to people that are dying without knowing from what. So it's completely legitimate. And same gores for other issues.”
*noise in the back ground*
“I’m just waiting for this to be over” 
“yes I hear”
“It’s not an ideal place”
“Not it’s not. But anyway, I think it’s also because of the way it’s received. It’s just like when we talk about strikes, we always say « ugh they’re on strike again » , but from what I see and think, 90% of the time strikes are justified. If people are striking, there’s a reason, their life conditions are getting worse. Going on strike is a commitment, it’s not just people saying « well let’s in bed, I don’t care I don’t wanna work, I’m lazy. » That’s what media try to send as a message, that people who are politically committed are either violent or lazy because they’re rail workers who don’t wanna go to work”
“But we’re talking about a social fight, it’s very important for things to be spelled out. Because this is also a weapon: to divide all the people who could unite because we have a common interest; 90% of people have a common interest. Of course there are differences inside the group but there’s a shared interest for more equality. And there’s an interest that is not shared at all but that exists and it’s to divide to dissipate all the energy : « they have more of that, you have less of that, he’s a lazy person » etc. Those adjectives are very annoying.” 
« So anyway, I think Act Up’s operating modes at the time were completely justified and thought through. It’s not a violence that is useless. And even if it was the case, it wouldn’t matter. »
3:20
“Do you think that bad image comes from an homophobia that was quite present in France at the time, and even today. When we see what happened with gay marriage here, it’s quite hard to understand those reactions when we come from Belgium.”
“I don’t know. Yeah probably. And it’s one of the things that Act Up use to say : « we’re not sorry for being there, we’re not asking you to allow us to be there, we are there already. » So voilà, and yes homophobia… I always saw this as a form of cowardice. For me, one of the reasons that could explain homophobia is the fact that homophobes get together to say « we are not like that ». It’s a pretty coward move because it’s hard to define yourself or to take charge of your life and to hide in values that aren’t even ours. Maybe some are really convinced but I think for most people it’s cowardice.”
4:30
“I learned a lot thanks to the film and I did a lot of research after because I was so interested by it. And the goal of Act Up wasn’t just to say « we have HIV, we’re here, use condoms », but it was also very concrete actions with laboratories, it’s justice.”
“Yeah and we see this in the film. Act Up’s actions were very important. There was this prudery that was very present at the time that lead to people saying « woohoo be careful we’re going to have HIV if we make love », it’s ridiculous when we thing about it. How public authorities resisted prevention campaigns just because of prudery. They ignored everything and it was a disaster. So Act Up’s actions were salutary, necessary. Maybe shocking. I’m not necessarily for shocking people, it’s not the only way to change things but at some point it’s important to get out of that masquerade, because people’s lives are at stake. Voilà.”
5:38
“I love the structure of the film. At first I was a bit lost I wondered if it was going to be just people talking for two hours, I wasn't sure how it was going to progress, but then I thought it was smart to take off and go to the most intimate, the most personal side of the story. And I wanted to know if on set if it was different for you to be in that group movement and then to get closer.”
« Well I wasn’t the focus, it was really on Nahuel and Arnaud who are the main actors. I lived it as a collective shooting. We’re always around 25 people when I have a scene so voilà. And it’s one of the strengths of the film. Its strength is that on the one hand, when we hear about the film we’re like « so I’ll be able to have my own opinion about Act Up, to know if I agree with their operating mode, their strategies, their politics » which is also interesting. But at some point the film, without using fake emotions, becomes a groundswell, it sweeps us and it becomes warm. And we go from the strategical policy to the policy that was experienced and to the political movement. And the political movement is a redefinition of the self, and the connection of the self to the group, and to accept that you're not all of yourself but that you're a little bit of other people. And there’s something that runs through us, and it’s more lively than being self centered : « this is mine, it’s my body, my house, it’s my thought, it’s me etc. » We’re trying to destroy that, and we can feel that in political movements and it's galvanizing for the youth still today. We can see this with the protests we had in Paris that we can call violent. We can feel the influence of that experience, it’s not just me and you, we’re together and we’re doing something that is not well perceived by people but it’s lively.
7:50
“Yes it’s a very lively movie. That’s what I felt first, even if there’s a lot of sadness in the end. There’s that desire to live, to go to the beach barefoot and to dance because we’re in Cannes *laugh*”
“Let’s go dance ! *laugh*  No but I agree. People would say that it’s a weeping film etc. but to me it’s really not the case. Because the film doesn’t say « look, it’s heartbreaking, we’re dying » . It’s true it’s heartbreaking and we’re dying, and we can’t stop ourselves from crying but we’re crying because we’re alive, we don’t cry because we say « oh what a surprise, someone dies » , we cry because life is full of possibilities and death is an end to that. So its talks about life and death. It’s not death like.. I don’t know if you see what I mean. It makes us want to live and to get out of those false pretenses, of those wasted times, of those fake causes and fakes ideas. With things that don’t belong to us, that enslave us, causes we serve but that are enslaving us because we didn’t really think this through. It's the order in us that's settled, and want to blow everything up, to live for real. And I think that’s a huge fucking work. To take responsibility for our life.”
9:19
“There’s a lot of dignity in this film, there’s no violin like in Philadelphia with Tom Hanks”
“No there’s not and I like the fact that there’s that unmasking thing in those collective scenes. We see a character being too hysterical but we really see them becoming hysterical, and we also see them calming down, we see everything. That’s what is so great, through unmasking each other all the time, we get to a real sincerity that couldn’t have been possible with a single voice. This is where the film is really generous, it’s not unequivocal, it doesn’t say « we think this » it says « this is how different voices have been woven around the same idea, around the same necessity. Yes, they were excessive but they were more or less aware of it, unable to get rid of it » etc. So we don’t ask the audience to just stick to one idea. And I love that.”
10:24
“I found the group scenes very impressive, I imagine that there was a lot of rehearsals because it’s impossible to have those immediate responses from everyone.”
“There were a lot of cameras. It’s the first time that I shot a film with three cameras. You’re talking about the scenes in the amphitheater right ? The majority of the films are amphitheater scenes, movement scenes and club scenes. I think, what was important was to meet each other and decide who would talk, because it's very written actually. And then what’s important was the architecture of the group, and that nobody would step on somebody else saying « wait I’m gonna try to shine more ». Because I think people would have noticed that. In the film everyone respected the place they had without any pretense. The relationships we had were real, and we got along well.”
11:27
“What do you want the audience to keep in mind after watching the film ?”
“That we really need to live, this is what I would say, voilà. And it’s not important to  keep objects the way we saw them, it's important when they settle and decompose. They become us, it’s not just an object anymore but becomes a small humus somewhere in our head. Voilà.”
“Well it’s great Adèle, thank you so much, you’re perfect”
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thecaffeinebookwarrior · 5 years ago
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More Female Characters to Avoid in Your Writing
A long while back, I typed up some posts ranting about characters and tropes I disliked.  These were Male and Female Characters to Avoid in Your Writing, and they’ve become my most popular posts yet.  Recently, I was struck by some topical inspiration, and decided it was time for a sequel!  
One again, these are my personal, subjective opinions!  No one dictates your writing or portrayals but you, and no one can or should decide how you consume fiction.  Also, as you may notice, I actually like most of the ladies below;  I just don’t like certain aspects of their portrayal.
Enjoy, and happy writing everybody! 
1.  The Daenerys (i.e. the spontaneous war criminal)
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Who she is:
The formerly heroic Mother of Dragons, who randomly charbroiled a city full of innocent people.
Why it sucks:
I’m not even talking about this from a feminist standpoint, or how one of the most consistently heroic and powerful female characters took an abrupt and undignified backflip into the Dark Side.  I’m speaking from a writer’s standpoint.  
Regardless of whether you liked Daenerys, she was rivaled only by Jon and Brienne as the show’s most consistently heroic character  From locking away her dragon children to ensure the safety of her subjects, to freeing countless enslaved citizens, she’s spent a decade proving herself to be an altruistic and noble figure.  And then, in the final two episodes of the entire show, the writers dracarys-ed that shit.
For some comparison, just imagine how ridiculous it would be if Jon Snow suddenly went batshit and started hacking up citizens because he was feeling stressed.  That’s about as plausible as Dany’s sudden passion for genocide.
And for the record, I’m not opposed to Daenerys becoming Mad Queen.  If it was done properly. This would mean informing the actress far in advance so she could modify her portrayal accordingly (which they didn’t), and building up to it through foreshadowing and established attributes.  Not at the last fucking minute.
Honestly, the only characters who remained narratively consistent to the very end are Drogon and Ghost, who are both precious babies who did nothing wrong.  
How to avoid her:
Decide as early as possible where a character arc is going.  Contrary to what Game of Thrones seems to believe, the character arc is important.  It should have a beginning, challenges that incite development, and a satisfying conclusion that showcases how a character has changed and evolved.  
And if you didn’t decide early?  You still have to come up with a conclusion that makes sense for your character, and not slap on the most unexpected ending possible in the name of Subverting Expectations.
On that note?  Subverting expectations isn’t always a good thing, and a reader predicting your ending isn’t the worst possible outcome.  Focus on telling a good story.  
2.  The Rayon (i.e. the transgender stereotype)
Who she is:
A transgender woman (portrayed by the male, cisgender Jared Leto) dying slowly of AIDS in Dallas Buyer’s Club.  Her role in the narrative is to teach the supposedly heterosexual (more on that later) main character that queer people are human beings.  
Why it sucks:
Rayon is many things in Buyer’s Club, and most are firmly rooted in stereotypes.  She’s a sassy, flirtatious, clothing-obsessed, self-loathing, drug-addicted prostitute.   She’s hypersexual, but never treated as romantically desirable.  She’s tragic, but also one of the few consistently comedic characters in an otherwise bleak film. 
It’s her job to gently goad the main character into treating her with basic respect, but he never quite gets there.  He refers to her with male pronouns throughout the entire film, and never acknowledges her as a woman.  At one point, he aims a gun at her genitals and offers her a “sex change operation.”  Which, is supposed to be comedic.
This isn’t to say that there are no sassy, flirtatious, clothing-obsessed, self-loathing, drug-addicted transgender sex workers, nor is there anything wrong with “stereotypical” trans people.  It isn’t the job of the marginalized to dispel stereotypes.  And if real trans people had created and portrayed Rayon, she could have been a realistic, dynamic, and compelling character.
And I say “created” because Rayon is strictly fictional.  Outside of this film, she didn’t exist.  
“Well, at least they tried to offer representation!”  you protest.  “What else was it supposed to be about?  A straight dude in the AIDS epidemic?”
Well, no.  Though the main character, Ron Woodroof, is presented to us as a violently homophobic, transphobic, womanizing asshole, the real Woodroof was, by all accounts, kind-hearted, open-minded, and bisexual.  
What could have been a powerful story of a queer man defying his diagnosis, living joyfully and meaningfully, and helping to prolong the lives of countless AIDS-sufferers, was instead watered down to a story of a straight, pugnacious asshole and his stereotypical, long-suffering, transgender sidekick who dies to Teach Him Compassion.  
How to avoid her:
Read books by trans people.  Consume media they create or endorse.  
List of youtube channels created by trans people here, and 21 books for trans awareness month here.
Put out a special call for transgender beta readers to point out mistakes, misconceptions, and offer tips on an authentic portrayal.
Garner insight into their perspective and experiences, and give them personalities outside of being trans.  
3.  The Piper Chapman (i.e. the unflavored oatmeal)
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Who she is:
The “protagonist” of Orange is the New Black, and its least compelling character.  She and Larry are the sort of people who would ask me for a threesome on Tinder.  
Why it sucks:
Piper’s hook is that she’s a privileged, affluent white woman who unjustly finds herself in prison for -- well, for crimes she committed.  But expected to get away with, because, Privilege.
This isn’t to say Piper is boring.  She’s far from likable, but being likable and being boring aren’t the same thing.  In another series, watching a relatively cushioned, naive, bourgeoisie woman string along various significant others, thoughtlessly incite violence, and navigate an unfamiliar prison setting would make for thought-provoking and hilarious satire.  
But when compared to her charismatic supporting cast, with richly developed backstories, motivations, and relationships, she’s painfully bland.  I would much rather watch a series centered around Suzanne, Nikki, Taystee, Poussey, or even Pennsatucky.  They’re just more developed, opulent, enjoyable characters. 
It could be argued that Piper is the viewpoint character, whom the audience is supposed to relate to.  But I can assert that I don’t relate to Piper.  At all.  Her lack of empathy towards others -- such as leaving Alex after the death of her mother, cheating on her fiance, and inadvertently starting a *ahem* white power gang -- alienated me to her.  
Which might not be such a bad thing, but Piper is (supposedly) the protagonist.  We don’t need to like her, but we should probably be able to relate to her.
Or maybe I’m just jealous that hot women aren’t inexplicably fighting over me.
How to avoid her:
Your protagonist doesn’t have to be the most likable character in your story.  They don’t even necessarily have to be the most interesting character in your story.  And certainly not the most morally good, powerful, or knowledgeable.  But the viewpoint character is the character who we spend the most time with, and from whose eyes we perceive the story.  It’s important that we understand and relate to them emotionally.
Look at examples like BoJack Horseman, Holden Caulfield, Tony Soprano, Beatrix from Kill Bill, Mavis from Young Adult, Nadia from Russian Doll.  All are complex characters, with varying degrees of moral ambiguity.  Yet we can empathize with them emotionally and identify with them.  Even if we’ve never been in their situation, we see where they’re coming from.
4.  The Charlie (i.e. the dead lesbian)
Who she is:
One of the few recurring openly queer characters in the incredibly long-running Supernatural.  A lesbian who’s journey was (sort of) brought to an end when she was killed and dumped in a bathtub to incite drama.
Why it sucks:
I love Supernatural  but it can be remarkably tone deaf towards queer people, women, and marginalized groups.  Which, probably merits fixing, considering its following is largely comprised of queer people, women, and marginalized groups.  
I probably shouldn’t have to explain why killing off women and queer people for drama is Bad, but I’ll delve into its history a little:  from what I’ve read, censorship laws of the twentieth century forbade the portrayal of queer people unless they were ultimately killed or “reformed.”  This is why so much LGBTQ+ fiction is essentially gay tragedy porn, and why gays are so frequently buried to aid in the emotional narrative of their straight counterparts.  
That’s not to say queer people can never be killed off.  I might not have an issue with Charlie’s death (especially in a show as violent as Supernatural), if she weren’t the only openly queer character at the time.  
And there’s plenty of room for representation!  If Dean was openly bisexual, if angels were vocally confirmed to be nonbinary, and if there were more recurring, respectfully portrayed female and sapphic characters, Charlie’s death might not feel like such as slap in the face.  But as it is, it feels like a contribution to an ugly pattern.
In fairness, Supernatural has since improved in its portrayal of queer people:  two gay male hunters were introduced and given a happy ending, an alternate universe version of Charlie was introduced to the cast, and God is portrayed as a bisexual man.  
Yes.  All of that happened.  You have to see it to understand.
How to avoid her:
Educate yourself on the history of censorship in the LGBTQ+ community, as well as hate crimes and decreased life expectancy.  Make sure you aren’t contributing to the suffering of queer people.
If you have only one confirmed queer character in the midst of a very large cast, I’m inclined to think you need more.  You could say I’m BI-ased on the matter, though.
Look up “fridging,” and think about how many stories use the death of female characters to incite drama for men.
5.  The Allison (i.e. the reformed feminine)
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Who she is:
She’s one of the most interesting members of the Breakfast Club, and that’s saying something.  A self-proclaimed compulsive liar who will “do anything sexual” with or without the promise of a million dollars (as well as one of the most quotable characters in the film) she demonstrates the emotional pain and complexity that’s often ignored or shrugged off as teen angst.  
And then she gets a makeover and a hot boyfriend, and suddenly everything’s better.  
Why it sucks:
It would be one thing if Allison’s problem was that she didn’t feel pretty or desirable.  But she never (to my recollection) offers any indication of that, and that’s part of what makes her such a refreshing portrayal of insecurity.  She’s emotionally neglected by her parents, and that is appropriately treated as devastating.  
It’s a complex and beautifully-portrayed problem that deserved far more than such a superficial, slapped-on solution.
Similarly, there’s no reason why Allison is paired up with the jock at the end of the film.  Neither showed any romantic interest in one another until her unnecessary makeover.  
A much better ending to her arc would be her finding acceptance among her newfound friends, and finally garner the recognition and acknowledgement she never got from her parents. 
I was torn between using Allison for this example, or Sandy’s makeover from Grease.  In both, girls are encouraged to alter their appearances to solve plot-related problems.  And both were “fixed” to conform to some standard of femininity or feminine sexuality that they didn’t meet before.
How to avoid her:
If a character feels the need to change their appearance to accommodate others or be respected, that should probably be treated as a negative thing.
Your character’s appearance can be a good tool to represent emotional changes.  If they alter their appearance, there should be a meaningful reason behind it -- outside of fitting into societal norms or garnering the approval of others. 
A girl putting on makeup isn’t a groundbreaking plot point, and girls who don’t perform to standards of femininity aren’t broken or deficient.  They don’t need “correcting.”
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arllenn · 4 years ago
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METANOIA chapter 2
There’s only cannon typical violence in this chapter and it’s only described briefly so I think this should be ok for y’all. > AO3
Opening my eyes I was greeted by snow once again. Only this time there was much more than when I had last been awake. Hills of the fluffy white powder framed the landscape creating an eerily stunning image. I was facing downwards the snow taking up most of my vision with only a sliver of the sky making its way towards me and questioned just where I was. For a second I wondered why I was alone. Did the person from before go to get help? Did they get tired of watching me bleed out and leave, or was it all a hallucination?
It stopped snowing, the sun bleakly shining through the clouds, a ray of light burned into my eye sockets, having escaped through a small hole in the weather. I thought to raise my arm up for some type of relief before rembering that it most likely wasn’t possible. Both of my arms having been so damaged in the car accident. It was a wonder, I could no longer feel any pain only overwhelming numbness and the texture of the snow underneath my body. Again odd, how was I able to feel the snow so vividly through my clothes. I attempted to look down towards where my body should be but my eyes stuck firmly in place the effort only bringing rise to an uncomfortable grating feeling. I attempted to call out for help, my jaws feeling uncomfortable like I was grinding the top and lower together just to forcibly pull them apart seconds later, but the only noises that came out of my mouth were breathy huffs who lost their sound in the wind. Closing my mouth a resounding ‘clink’ came from it. It sounded a bit like glass and I assumed that it was just my teeth hitting one another, that wasn’t right it’s never sounded like that, however it also reminded me of the noises that the gems made when running in Houseki no Kuni. I loved that show back when I was younger, and still watched it for the nostalgia. It’s unfortunate that as it’s looking it be now I’ll never get to finish the manga or see season 2.
inwardly I sighed. Here I was who knows where with serious injuries that I could no longer feel with no idea how long it will be until my body gives out and I’m reminiscing about anime that I like. I’m ridiculous. I had to move, get out of here, do something! Clumsily I raised my arm towards where the window frame of the car should be. The feeling of my skin, or was it bone, grinding against itself was uncomfortable and a slight bit painful. I definitely should be worried that something as serious as my bones touching and grinding together is only a slightly painful but now wasn’t the time. I fumbled for where the window frame would be, it shouldn’t be this high up, it’s never been this high up, my arm felt like it was going to drop, until it felt lighter all of a sudden and something hard dropped down hitting my back before crushing something else.
I panicked. My arm just broke into two, it just broke, broken into halves like nothing! It didn’t even feel painful! I have to be dreaming, or having something like a full body hallucination right before death, because there’s no way in hell my arm just broke in half and I’m fine, hell I couldn’t even feel the blood gushing out that should’ve accompanied it! I tried to use my other hand to push me up so that I could find some way to help myself, rising on a single shaking arm that felt like it too could snap in any moment I noticed something. My arm, no not just my arm, the long hair that fell off my head too, was all a milky white with splotches of iridescent blue gemstone. I breathed out not believing what I was seeing when my other arm gave out leaving me lying completely on my side, face to face with a huge flat rock, or was it a mountain and the rest of what I presumed to be my body which also held the same bewitching shine as my arm and hair.
I don’t believe it, no I can’t believe it. My body had somehow turned into some type of wacky gemstone statue and there was no sign of the car that had killed me, nor the road that I had been flung off of. However just like before the teal shards were there. Only this time they took the remote shape of a person. Maybe it had been a statue? If so then was I still on the scene of the car crash, or did they get moved to where ever I had been moved as well? There were too many questions and not enough answers. So I decided to think my way through the situation I currently found myself in.
I had presumably died, or been severely injured. And transfered to somewhere unknown along with the statue from before. My body was made out of some type of stone, a gemstone most likely, and I am unable to speak or look around without risking snapping the remainder of my limbs off. Is this some kind of prank? Ridiculous I know but my only other theory was that this was my brains last parade before it shut down and I died. Or maybe I was in a coma, do people dream in their comas? It’s good to sort everything out even though I don’t have enough information to fully understand or even attempt to grasp the situation.
Pursing my lips, or just making the attempt to, I wasn’t sure of anything other than the feeling of my rough jaws pushing against each other, I looked at the statue infront of me. I studied the shape of what could possibly be a face, small and round with large eye sockets that were empty (did they get knocked out before I was here?) a nose that fit its face perfectly, small and button shaped. With hair that flew down in jagged layers looking a bit like leaves on trees at just the start of fall. It’s a bit funny I had just been thinking of Houseki no Kuni and now here I was staring at what could very well be a life sized Phosphophyllite, if only a bit younger than what they were shown to be in the begging of the story. Huh? A life sized Phos, a humongous rock that has bits of gemstones peaking out of its craggy surface, and a barren landscape with no signs of humanity. Not to mention the fact that I’ve literally become a gemstone as well! There’s no way it could be right?
‘Wait...’
’Don’t tell me...’
‘there’s no way in hell..’
Hah yeah right, the day I’m isekai’d is the day pigs fly and the moon explodes. Actually didn’t NASA find a crack in the moon? Off topic but the point still stands I’m jumping to conclusions way too far out of my league. There’s no way isekai is real, I’ll probably wake up in a hos-
THWACK
As if just taking off one of my legs wasn’t enough the arrow that was accompanied by an all too familiar sound track came and cracked through my denial, a second punishment for daring to doubt the universe I suppose.
Bad, bad, bad, this was bad, no more like horrible! I can’t move, my limbs being too splintery and uncontrollable to even attempt to run away, I lost half of an arm and my leg up to mid thigh, theres no way I’m moving myself. So unless by some miracle Phos lookalike, the real Phos, not just some lookalike, suddenly tripled in hardness and was able to move I’m done for. Isn’t this cheap? Dying before my life even begins! I’m not even a main character! There’s no plot armor to save me! Maybe Phos but not me! Is that why I don’t remeber a anyone that looks like this? Because they were so irrelevant that they were never mentioned or eluded to?
Desperatly trying to escape with only an arm on the brink of collapse and a leg that doesn’t want to even pretend to cooperate really makes your blood pressure skyrocket. Can I even say that anymore, it’s not like I have blood! My panic was accompanied by the sound of bows being drawn and the sound of arrows piercing through the air.
In a split second my torso was separated in two and my other arm shattered into bits along with the majority of my shoulder. Looking over to Phosphophyllite who had been shattered completely everywhere except for their head and legs carved a sense of desperation into me. There was nowhere for me to go and even if there was there was no way for me to get there. Resigning myself to a second death I stopped struggling and just laid there. Truly a blessing I was turned away from the lunarians so that I didn’t have to see the arrows and spears being flung at me. The strings were pulled back and...
Nothing but a spray of snow came. It threw me over forcing me to look at the lunarians and whatever had caused the snow to be so greatly disturbed. Slightly off to the left in my vision but at the center of my mind stood ANTARCTICITE? If the lunarians hadn’t convinced me of my situation then this certainly did. The arrows and spears all stuck into the snow having been slammed off course. They glanced back at Phos and I before readying themselves to go on offense. They took a running start and soared through the sky straight towards the lunarians. The anime could never compare to seeing it right infront of your eyes. The way they used their legs to make complicated twists and turns avoiding every attack while delivering one of their own was breath taking. They had cleared out the front of the float. There were only a few archers left on the float (ship? I forget the cannonical name for it) that was quickly disappearing the final blow haveing been delivered to the center just a few seconds ago. Fighting in what was essentially mid air they breezed through dodging arrows and pointed their sword at their final enemy. They twisted out of the way of the arrow being shot and plunged their blade straight through the lunarians neck. Of course knowing my luck, because I clearly being crushed by a car and almost being taken to the moon could never be enough, the arrow that Antarcticite had just dodged came flying at me. I felt it pierce through my nose and shatter my face. The last thing I saw was antarcticite running towards us as my world faded back into that inky black.
The next time I woke up was to a body that didn’t feel like hell when I moved it and eyes that roamed to where I told them to. The animation in Houseki no Kuni, I was IN Houseki no Kuni I’m a gemstone that lives and exists here, did the actual architecture of the school no justice what so ever. I remember hearing rumors on the internet that Ichikawa studied architecture before writing the manga and the fruits of her labor really showed through in person. The high ceiling met the archways perfectly and truly reminded me of the drawings and pictures one would see if an elegant civilization from back at humanities beginning. The wooden cot I was laying on didn’t seem worn out in the slightest despite the age of the gems and how often they had to be repaired.
i was yanked out of my thoughts by the voice I had heard during so many watch throughs, raising my eyes from the swirls in the wood that my fingers were tracing I looked up at Sensei.
“Hecatolite also that is your name. A hardness of six. You were born on the twentieth day of winter along side Phosphophyllite.”
I bit down on my bottom lip, while I was no expert of any kind on gemstones I had never even once heard of the name Hecatolite. Was it named after the goddess Hecate? In that case I don’t think the pale white and glimmering blue fit the name at all. Considering that Hecate was a goddess of the night.
As if he could read my thoughts Sensei, Adamant, whatever, told me something that I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at.
“Hecatolite also had the common name of moon stone long ago.”
I a human soul who should have realisticly been reborn into this world as a lunarian was a gem named after the moon, the place where I belonged. Honestly this kind of ironic situation is something I’d expect from a novel, not real life. Sensei was still looking at me and I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts for now so I nodded as best I could with my awkwardly stiff yet also too loose neck. Apparently satisfied he turned to Phos and began working on them.
I’ve really never thought of the idea of being isekai’d before. Sure most stories about the premace were fun to read but there’s no way on earth I ever would’ve thought that I of all people could ever be isekai’d but here I am, sitting in the gemstones infirmary that I’ve seen in every way possible watching Sensei, or adamant which should I call him , carve Phosphophyllite’s face, having just been told that I’m Moonstone Hecatolite or whatever and have a hardness of 6. My life would in no way be hard like Phos’ or Cinnabar’s due to my hardness, the only thing I could ever even imagine that would cause trouble is my name, but then again I could just go by Hecatolite and keep the moonstone part to myself. It’s not like Antarcticite knows, or maybe they do and I’m just assuming, they were rather close to Sensei before they died, Sensei doesn’t seem like the type to blab information like that and I’m not sure that Phos is awake right now.
‘Really’ I thought as I brought my knees up to my chest slowly hugging them tightly so that the wouldn’t fall that any point. Today, could this even be counted as just a day had been too much all at once. I had essentially flung myself off of the road, died after being crushed with some random stranger holding my hand. Upon arrival into this messed up world I had encountered lunarians earlier today and been saved by Antarcticite after almost being taken to the moon. This is, unbelievable, ridiculous, I just can’t seem to comprehend what the hell is happening right now! Even in the lore of Houseki no Kuni it was outright stated that humans souls became the lunarians and that the gems were their bones, my very existence went against the firmly set laws of this world! It made no sense when I first realized and it makes no sense now, in all honesty I’m sure that it will never make sense. But, here I am sitting watching Sensei, Adament, whatever, whoever, carving Phos like it was nothing.
To be fair to him it was probably nothing considering the fact that Phos is the youngest in a long line of gems, but it’s still unbelievable. To me a person who had been living in modern society and didn’t believe that magic or reincarnation was a thing possible being here right now just wasn’t something I could wrap my mind around currently. I put my head down into my knees and thought of my family, my life up until the crash and everything that I had ever done. I tightened my hold on my knees in an attempt to focus on something else. Gems didn’t cry instead when they had extreme emotions they cracked. I didn’t want to break my newly formed body already. Despite my best efforts a crack still formed. Luckily I wasn’t a soft gemstone and it was something minor that could be chalked up to me falling. I moved my hand up over to my shoulder to cover the shallow but midsized crack. My regrets, my wants and the moments I was proud of all came to the forefront of my mind.
I’m not sure what the measures of time are here but to me it felt like quite a few hours, however it was hard to accurately perceive time as I currently was and I had no intention of finding out how long it actually had been, seeing as to the fact that I wasn’t even sure that I could talk, or that the languages that I had knowledge of would translate or be understood. And even if they were only Sensei would be able to understand and that would likely bring up questions as to why I knew a dead language. So I kept quiet as I was led by Sensei alongside Phos to where I guessed our rooms were. It did make me wonder if gems were born understanding the language and unable to speak it or if this was a cheat granted to me by the universe as compensation for ending my life.
We were placed in rooms next to each other. The designs were simple and minimalistic. A single window a bed that was shoved into a crook in the wall that had a wooden frame, it really just looked like a stone box with a pile of sheets on it but I digress. Young Phosphophyllite was rather cute, it was a shame they’d go feral and lose their mind one day. I plopped down onto the bed only keeping on the button on shirt that came with the winter uniforms on. I know usually from what Sensei said that gems sleep with either everything off or with a uniform that they requested from red beryl but considering that it was winter and they were sleeping I would have to make do with this until they woke up. The idea of sleeping without anything on at all was just a bit too much for me as I currently am.
i looked out the window towards the moon that was high in the sky and allowed myself to play with the strands of my hair, funnily enough the weight was comfortable and from the way my hair fell it seemed like it was styled the same way as it was in my past life. Of course mirrors weren’t a thing currently, so it was just an assumption. Pulling the sheets up I resolved to not think for the rest of the night. Reliving my life for who knows how long was definitely draining.
A few minutes after I had laid down I heard shuffling around the doorway. Looking up I realized that Phos, who looked two steps from falling over was standing in the door way looking at me. I sat up and beckoned them over by waving my hand towards myself. For a second I got scared that they wouldn’t understand, after all they don’t know how to speak and i have no idea if this means something different to them, but cute innocent Phos stumbled over to my bed on legs that would make a newborn fawn jealous. It looked they they were going to fall midway so I sprung up tangled in my sheets to steady them. Luckily the sheets formed a barrier in between us that stopped me from cracking them but it was still nerve wracking. That matter aside I wasn’t sure why Phos was here or what I could do for them currently.
With their behavior matching their angelic face Phos didn’t leave me to silently wonder for too long before they pointed at the bed. Though vague I think I understand? Did they need help getting into their bed because of their hardness? I nodded and picked them up ready to take them to their room, however once I reached the door frame they reached out and pointed towards the bed again...
’I’m an idiot...’
Sighing I went back into my room and placed Phos down on my bed and put on the shorts that came along with the winter uniform. I didn’t want to risk grinding them into dust like I was Achema so I took precautions. I left the room to go and grab Phos’ sheets. I wrapped them up in mine as if they were a cat getting medication or a shot and used their sheets to put over the both of us. There was no way I was going to break Phos on my first day alive, or ever considering the story. A small smile played on their face and they fell asleep soon after.
Sighing I decided that sense it was like this I should just sleep for now. There was no point in staying up and thinking when the situation was like this. Though I am nervous about crushing Phos in my sleep I really don’t want to wake them up right now.
The sky was empty and without stars, a stark contrast to the night sky I was used to. The moon was the only source of light and all I could think about was the earth that I was used to before all of this.
That night I gained a few more cracks over my shoulders.
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skvaderarts · 3 years ago
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Hiraeth Chapter 35: Disquisition
Masterlist can be found Here!
Chapter Thirty-Five: Disquisition
Note: This was such a fun chapter to write. It feels good to be back in the swing of things. Sorry for the extended hiatus. I had a lot going on with my emotions and my computer. Life is just… life, you know? Anyway, thank you so much for all of the support while I was gone! I was worried I wouldn’t have anyone to come back to if I took too much longer! But onto the new chapter! And sorry it was so late! I slept until 7:40pm somehow… 
(-~-)
Most of the Ludwig manor was quiet, a serene landscape of lengthy halls, winding stairs, and large windows covered in thick curtains that blocked out most of the ambient light from outside. The only indication that there were people living here was the occasional passing by of a servant going about their daily tasks, and that was exceedingly infrequent by design. But even so, the library was a bastion of contemplation and peace, the only notable sounds being that of the turning of pages and the soft click of boots as the group navigated the vast array of books at their disposal. It was almost as if the room absorbed any and all outside noise to help facilitate a better reading environment. Truthfully, no one would be surprised if that was the case. There was a litany of supernatural energy in this house, more than any of them had an explanation for.
Dante sat at the other end of the long table that spanned the center of the room, flipping through some sort of book that had pictures in it. It seemed to be an encyclopedia of some sort that contained droves of information about demons and just about everything associated with them on a species level. Maybe it was more of a bestiary than anything else, but it was one of the few tomes that the youngest Son of Sparda had been able to locate that was actually in english. Okay, maybe not quite, but it was close.
“So what brought you here in the first place, Vergil? I feel like I'm missing a joke.” He said casually, flipping through the hand-illustrated novel to try and locate what he was looking for. In truth, he didn’t have anything in particular in mind, but he was still doing his best to try and help. Books like these were more Vergil’s jam than his, maybe even Nero’s to an extent. And V was a given. Dante was somewhat sure that his older nephew’s blood was actually ink at this point with how much he liked to read taken into account.
Vergil was flipping through an even larger less approachable book with such nonchalant ease that Dante was almost certain that his older twin was doing so just to make him feel more inferior than he already felt at the moment. When had Vergil learned to read this kind of stuff? Had he picked some of it up as a kid from all the time that he has spent with their father before his untimely disappearance? That seemed to be the most likely answer. Regardless, he was able to read it, and had been up until Dante had asked him that question, seemingly interrupting the flow of his train of thought. He clasped the book gently and laid it flat on the table, looking over out of the corner of his eye at his younger twin. It seemed that Dante was onto something.
Vergil casually gestured towards a bookcase on the other side of the room that was behind a locked metal door. None of them had even noticed the room until now, the other bookcases concealing it relatively well. Bars stretched from floor to ceiling, allowing the books to still be visible, but not accessible. The bookcase on the other side contained about a hundred thick books that seemed to be exceedingly old, and they were each locked inside of individualized cages with only their spines exposed. A chain attached to each book and the bookcase on the other end ensured that you wouldn’t be walking off with one.
“You are, Dante. I came here in search of a book in my youth. I… encountered more than I bargained for.” He said, seemingly almost embarrassed. He broke eye contact and returned to the book, not at all willing to elaborate.
Magnolia snickered slightly, taking a sip from the tray of tea that had been brought to them a short while ago. Normally people were not permitted to eat in the library, but they were all adults and could be trusted to not eat and then rub their hands all over everything without cleaning them off first. There was literally a washroom twenty feet from them, but the dining room was on the other side of the house and down a flight of stairs. No one felt like going that far just to drink a few sips of tea and enjoy a macaroon or an eclair. 
“What your twin brother is trying to say is that he absolutely tried to lift a book from our private collection while we were asleep one night, and he was caught. We have his assurances that he would have returned it, but I do believe he was smart enough to realize that he might have been in over his head.” She giggled a bit harder then, covering her hand in a polite attempt to not die laughing at something that only she and Vergil truly understood, given the circumstances and the context. Plus, they were in a library, after all. Best to keep it down. “He got more than he bargained for, indeed.”
Nero was not intrigued by what was going on, peeping over at them from a bookcase a few feet away. He seemed to consider yelling his question over to them before it occurred to him that he was in a library. He flinched, knowing that idea wouldn’t go over well before walking over to them with the book he had been examining and leaning over the table. Something told him that this was a story that might actually keep his interest for a moment, at least better than the book that he was trying to read that he barely understood. He was going to have to ask for an assist on this one. Time to go get V and pick his brain. It wasn’t that he couldn’t read it so much as he didn't understand the knowledge that was being imparted upon him. “Okay, so now you’ve got my attention. What did you do to him, Magnolia? I know it has to be something you did. You're barely holding it together.”
At that, she gave up and actually laughed, holding her hands over her face in order to try and stifle her laughter. There was no holding it back, but she could at least try to block the sound a little. The eldest Son of Sparda shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment as Magnolia tried to collect herself. It seemed that they were at two different ends of the spectrum in regards to the context of this memory. Now Dante was intrigued as well, waiting to hear the answer elaborated on.
“See, what Vergil forgot to say was that I snuck up on him, caught him, and used a relocation spell to drop him head first from the ceiling! He had no time to even try to react. He just hit the floor like a brick.” She pointed to the ceiling and shook her head, clearing her throat as she attempted to put herself back together. Her hair had fallen into her face, and she battled it out of the way, unwilling to allow it to stay there. “It was easily the most uncoordinated thing I've ever seen him do, and just recalling the totally flabbergasted look on his face is enough to make me choke. He lost a fight to a little fourteen year old girl, and he’s the one who brought a sword.”
Everyone looked over at Vergil in various states of disbelief. Surely Magnolia has to be exaggerating just a little bit? The mental image of the Darkslayer plummeting head first from the easily forty foot ceiling was just too improbable to believe. And the idea that he had been snuck up on? Vergil practically had radar built into his brain, at least from what they could tell. But the look on his face was all that it took to come to the conclusion that she wasn’t telling a tall tale. This had actually happened.
“Pardon my interruption, but did you say the ceiling?” A familiar voice inquired from above them on the balcony. It was V. He and Lucia had approached the edge of the railing, holding books from different ends of the bookcase that they had both been examining. The young summoner seemed more than a little bit amused by this turn of events. How on earth had she managed to drop Vergil from that kind of high head first and not kill him? Were his father’s bones made of titanium?
“Unfortunately, she did. Every word of that exceedingly unpleasant tale is factual. My neck and head still hurt just recalling it.” Vergil said grumpily, attempting to conceal the fact there was actually a part of him that was impressed by her aptitude at such a young age. It was slightly astounding to him that she had even managed to sneak up on him, even if he had been in a dark, unfamiliar space and his sole focus had been on the task at hand. It was a learning experience, to be sure. Never again would he drop his guard like that.” I suppose I am lucky to be able to heal at the rate that I do, as I am certain that I cracked my skull and, at the bare minimum, dislocated a vertebrae in my neck. If I’m being honest, I probably broke it.”
“I was trying to use a compressing spell to hold him in place, but I panicked when I saw Yamato, and the first thing that came to mind was a relocation hex. I tried to eject him from the property, but unfortunately for him my powers were unable to draw from a location that I couldn’t currently see, and I didn’t know how to make him pass through a solid object yet, so he just fell three stories from the ceiling.” Magnolia laughed nervously, clearly horrified by the fact that she “My parents were impressed, nonetheless, and I was rewarded for my “quick thinking” even though I was sure I had just killed another child. Those were high times.” She allowed a wistful smile to spread across her face, the warmth from the distant memory spreading through every extremity she possessed. Yes, that had been a fun occasion.
Lucia chuckled lightly under her breath. The history of Dante’s family was fascinating, if not tumultuous and filled with problems. But it seemed that their frankly ridiculous durability made from some extremely interesting situations at times. She was just glad that they always seemed to recover and no permanent damage was done. She had come to like Vergil during their short time together, and to say she was fond of Dante would be a bit of an understatement. He had always been a wonderful friend to her, and she wanted nothing more than the best for him, perhaps even a bit more.
As if he had sensed her thoughts, V pulled himself away from the scene below for a moment to look over at her, hoping that he had yet to give away his intentions in regards to speaking with her. He just had to get the nerve up to explain what he couldn’t quite put into words, but he had noticed that of the two of them, he was not the only one who seemed to possess this issue. He saw the quiet little moments that she spent thinking, normally looking over at Dante. At times she became flustered around him for no apparent reason, much as he did around ehr. He couldn’t help but wonder if she too was longing for something or someone that she knew she couldn’t have.
He wished her luck in that regard, realizing that this was something that had probably been in the works long before he had come into the picture. Had Dante noticed the way that she looked at him? Had Lucia noticed the way that V looked at her? It was hard to say, and he knew that at some point he would have to simply ask her what it was that she was after. Whatever answer she gave him, he would fully respect and accept, even if it wasn’t the one that he was hoping for. That was what a responsible adult did. But leave it to him to suddenly realize that perhase the only person he had ever felt remotely attracted to was interested in another member of his family. There had to be a certain irony in that. He just hoped that if that was what she wanted, her affections would be returned. 
Dante seemed to be the sort that was perpetually single by choice, never indulging in any of the impulses or desires that he might possess. Perhaps he felt that he was protecting those that he cared about by not becoming entangled with them? It was all that he could imagine. Dante was likeable enough and, at least to him, he seemed lonely. It wasn’t so much something that his uncle did as it was just a way that he was. He could see a little bit of himself in him at times in ways that he didn’t expect or wish, hoping to spare everyone that he knew and cared about the majority of the feelings that he kept bottled up and pushed back so deep within himself. But these were things that had been set in stone long before his arrival. He was simply witnessing the aftermath.
But maybe it didn’t have to be that way? After all, something was only set in stone when someone accepted that and didn’t choose to alter it. Even the hardest stone could be chiseled with the right tools. That was the nature of such things. Maybe there was something that he could do… 
Griffon cackled slightly from behind him, manifesting and landing on the railing between him and Lucia. The wiley bird shook his head for a moment before looking over at V, then looking down at Vergil from above. “Ya know, I make alotta jokes about Dante having brain damage, but maybe he’s not the only one. Maybe it runs in the family. A fall from a room this high? Yea, that’s gonna bruise your brain a little.”
While the rest of the inhabitants of the lower level of the library giggled, Vergil shot the demonic bird a hard to read look. She seemed to be considering saying something, but decided against it. V could only wonder what his father thought of Griffon and Shadow, considering the history he had with them and the nature of their creation. There had to be some hard feelings on his end, even if there didn’t seem to be any from theirs. Dante had some prior with their previous iterations it seemed, too. But unlike Vergil, he didn’t seem to care much about that. One could only imagine that his experience with them had either been shorter or less tragic than his father’s, and considering how little he knew about that experience aside from what he’d gleaned from Griffon, he knew that he wasn’t in a position to say literally anything about such matters. But he did hope that one day he would be able to make some sort of peace between them.
Just as was about to turn and head back over towards the balcony with the book that he had been holding, he looked over and noticed that Lucia wasn’t where she had been a moment earlier. Intrigued, he walked down several rows until he located her. She was leafing through some sort of book, a curious look on her face. She seemed to be having some sort of eureka moment, and he had no intention of interrupting, but he had to know if he could be of assistance.
“You seem preoccupied. Is something the matter?” He asked quietly, wanting to make his presence known, but having no desire to destroy her train of thought. She looked up, seemingly slightly startled, but making no physical indication of this knowin. It seemed that she had simply been so deep in thought that she hadn’t been able to sense his presence when he had approached.
“... Have you… is there a card sorting section in this library?” She asked, glancing between him and the book in her hand. If he didn’t know better, he’d say she looked almost concerned, and that in of itself was somewhat startling to him. He stepped back and turned to face the railing with her close behind him before taking the opportunity to turn towards the desk near the entrance. V gestured towards it before watching as she nodded politely and headed down towards it. Wondering what was going on, he took a moment to gently place the book back where it belonged before heading down to meet her, noticing that she was flipping through the cards on the table.
By the time he reached her, it became apparent that she had not located what she had been looking for. Her somewhat hurried and slightly alarmed minor threw him off as he contemplated if he should ask. She clearly noticed this, shaking her head slowly. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Forgive me. I found something troubling in this book, and it makes reference to a certain section “X” in this library that contains a book with the requisite information in it. But I don’t know where that section is, and I don’t see it anywhere in this guide.”
“That’s because no one goes in there, darling. Those texts are dangerous.”
Everyone in the room turned around, clearly alarmed by the presence of another individual that they had not noticed. Standing before them was a tall woman in a trailing black and silver dress with a gray hooded shawl over her head. Her face was exposed a moment later when she lowered the hood, revealing her to look very much like Magnolia and Luta. She was soaking wet, and none of them could find any indication that she particularly cared. A certain darkness almost seemed to radiate from her, making them all uneasy in different ways, specially Magnolia and Vergil, the pair seemingly recognizing her but alarmed by the state that she was in. Was something wrong with her aside from what was obvious to them? Because that was the only thing they could place.
Looking over at the two of them, the woman nodded for a moment before turning towards the stairs. She didn’t have to say that she would return. They could just feel it. And before long she vanished up the stairs, more than likely to change into something less saturated. V and Lucia both looked over Magnolia, clearly desiring an explanation as to who this absurdly unnerving woman was. Nero seemed to concur, slowly making his way over to the table and sitting down. He suddenly didn’t want to read anymore.
So… Who the hell is that?” He asked, his voice little more than a faint whisper. He didn’t seem scared so much as he was concerned, wanting to know if they were in any sort of danger. He had no idea what anyone in the Ludwig family was capable of, or if they were all on the same side. There had to be at least one outlier, didn't there?
Vergil and Magnolia shared a glance between one another as she nodded in response to her longtime friend’s unspoken question. Vergil almost seemed to pale slightly before leaning quietly on his elbow, thinking. But before any of them could inquire as to what was going on, Magnolia spoke. His voice was slightly shaky as she spoke.
“Section X is forbidden. It contains dark texts that you dare not view without the requisite knowledge. But if you must view them, that might be facilitated. And luckily for you, the only person with a key to it has just returned. Though she has changed significantly since I saw her last… ”
Making himself known for the first time in the better part of an hour, Sirrus came from behind a nearby bookcase and walked over to them before speaking quietly. He looked as though he had just seen a ghost, his normally pale complexion drained of all evidence that it had once contained blood or melanin. Magnolia’s youngest sister. Aluta. My father’s ex wife.”
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I literally stopped to order macarons when I wrote the part about them and the eclairs. Something about it just triggered my sugar tooth. I’ve literally never eaten a macaroon in my entire life. But they are just so pretty! So anyway… 
I hope you all had a great week! See you all in the comments, and on Wednesday with a new chapter! Gosh, it feels so great to say that again! I’ve missed you all! Things are about to get very interesting, and I can’t wait for you to be able to read them. I haven’t been this excited about the start of an arc since the flashback sequence!
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davidcxrenswet · 4 years ago
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“ i just want to hear your voice until i fall asleep … ”
He wasn’t present for most of the removal, and for good reason. If Mariana so much as shrieked or cried out once, he’d fight tooth and nail to stop the whole thing. Sure they had Bryce, a rugged brute, and Kaz the golden boy jock around, but Harvey was taller and quicker, and none of them would be able to hold him down. He’d stop the whole thing and drag Mariana away from there if she cried out for him to do so. So it was imperative he stayed away. He just didn’t get very far with that plan. Harvey had been pacing outside the house where they conducted the exorcism or whatever it was they were doing. He didn’t really know, and frankly he didn’t really care to know. The more details he had, the harder it would have been for him to be away. At the time he had only really understood a couple scattered facts: there was some shard inside Mariana which changed her genetic make up to the point that she needed to literally eat men in order to survive, the longer it was there the more feral she’d get, and that only the Murder Club could get it out of her. He didn’t like that last bit. No matter what, Harvey just didn’t trust that group of delinquents. And at that time he had to trust them with the most important person in his life.
It had nearly driven him mad, to the point where he just couldn’t stay away and finally gave into the urge to run to her. When he barreled down the stairs into the cellar where things were happening, he could only remember a handful of things. Mariana was chained down in the center of the room, her jaw unhinged in an inhuman way revealing rows of deadly sharp fangs. She didn’t look anything like the girl he cuddled up to almost nightly. It was hard to believe the flesh curling above those teeth were the lips he kissed so often. There was nothing recognizable in her frenzied eyes or shrieking voice. It was an image out of his worst nightmares, created from the girl of his dreams. He remembered the way his stomach flopped uncomfortably, the whirl of nausea that gripped him while his heart shattered at the sight. It was horrid and it was frightening and it gutted him to hear her scream like she did. Surely they were failing, there’s no way they could hold back that demonic thing. That’s what he thought, and it was probably true, but then there was a voice calling over the screaming and shouting — a voice Harvey thought may have been Violet Matthews but it had seemed unlikely. After all, none of them really cared if the former junior deputy didn’t survive this B-movie horror show they’d been dragged into — so whoever called out that staying this way could lead to his untimely demise was likely seeking the only trump card they could have against her in the situation.
The next events blurred together to the point where Harvey wasn’t sure exactly when they happened or how long it all took place, but eventually Mariana stopped fighting, and the whole weird ritual thing went on and a shard of glass was ripped out of her abdomen by some invisible force. It all happened so fast that whenever he tried to imagine it, he no longer felt scared of the memory. He was practically numb to it. What he recalled more clearly was Mariana passing out afterwards and everyone huddling close to her, until he’d shouldered past them, making his presence known, and carried her out of there. If any of them tried to protest, he didn’t care. He wasn’t leaving her with them after all that — somehow he knew deep down she didn’t want to wake up surrounded by their concerned expressions and probing questions. So he took her away, back to the loft apartment he’d kept above the old church. She was out cold the entire time, and he’d worried momentarily when he’d deposited her on the bed that maybe he shouldn’t have moved her. It was too late, though.
She was there, tucked gently under the covers of his bed after he’d put her in clean clothes, snoozing silently against the pillow. He hadn't fully registered what was going on until Sassy had placed his head on the edge of the bed and whimpered at the girl. “Ssh, quiet buddy,” he hummed to the dog, scratching behind his ears. “She needs some rest.” And boy did she rest. Harvey thought she’d be asleep for maybe five to eight hours, at least the length of a regular sleep. Surely once the sunlight flooded through the skylight she’d be roused awake. He didn’t feel bothered when Sasquatch jumped onto the empty space beside Mariana and curled up to sleep, occasionally poking his head up to observe her in hopes she’d wake. When Harvey pulled a chair next to the bed, popping in one AirPod and pulling up an audiobook to keep himself occupied while he waited, he’d expected to only be sitting there for a few hours.
So when nearly sixteen hours had passed and Mariana was still asleep and he’d had the worst ache in his joints from leaning forward on his elbows and watching her with deeply worried eyes… Harvey just wasn’t sure what was going on. He was beginning to fear the worst: that somehow the exorcism or ritual those stupid kids did put his girlfriend in a coma. He wondered if he should rush her to the hospital but then what would he tell them? “My girlfriend was a man eating demon because someone literally shoved a piece of glass into her stomach but it’s okay some hooligans from school read some Latin out loud and got it out of her but then she passed out and hasn’t woken up in like more than half a day, so I’m not sure what’s wrong but I think she’s at least human again.” Her mother, the hospital nurse, would surely love to hear that ridiculous story about her daughter from a coworker. Before Mariana even woke up, they’d send Harvey to the loony bin and toss out the key.
He was beginning to fear the worst but then it had finally happened — she woke. He imagined that moment a lot when he’d been sitting there, alternating in between listening to Stephen Fry narrating Harry Potter or Weezer crooning alt rock. He imagined the sharp inhale when she woke, the way her eyes would slowly and hazily open, looking around the room and trying to piece together where she was until her gaze landed on her dutiful boyfriend brooding in the chair next to her bed. And he wouldn’t notice her until she’d speak up, her voice soft and tired. And then he would jolt awake and jump to the bed where he’d shower her in soft kisses and practically weep over how happy he was she was okay… the thought went hazy there but he assumed he’d go make her breakfast and she’d walk around feeling totally normal and okay, like a healthy and happy teenage girl just waking up on a lazy Saturday morning. Maybe they’d go for a drive, or head to Marie’s because certainly she’d be ravenous. Normal. He’d suspected she’d wake up normal. What he got was a little different. She definitely seemed tired, and a little disoriented, and when Sassy leaned his massive head over and gently licked her hand and curled into her side, well he suspected she must have been happy to see her two boys first thing waking up after that horrific night. He hoped she was happy. But there was this edge in the air, something that told him that something was off.
This only became apparent in the way Mariana had acted since waking up. She was fatigued, understandably, but she was also quiet and distant. While she seemed mostly physically okay, there was definitely something going on with her, mentally or emotionally, that didn’t seem okay. Harvey tried to figure out how to change whatever was amiss, but as usual Mariana didn’t open up right away to him. She kept herself a bit closed off, kept her feelings mostly concealed. So he’d focused on taking care of her in other more obvious ways. He cooked nutritious meals for her, foods to help her get her strength back, and monitored her hydration, urging her to drink often. He’d hovered by her whenever she got up to move, making sure she didn’t stumble. He’d made sure she was always comfortable, put on her favorite programs to give her something to occupy herself with. He’d even made sure a whole load of his t-shirts was washed and folded, ready for her to swap out since he knew she liked wearing his clothes while lounging about. He’d offered to take her on drives to get some fresh air, let Sassy occupy Harvey’s usual spot on the bed in case she wanted puppy cuddles — just about anything he could think of that would make her happy. But she barely responded to his actions. The only times he thought she really reached out to him were when she wanted to curl up against him. He’d caught her doing that when they slept side by side, Sasquatch banished to his own doggy bed so Harvey didn’t spend another extended period sleeping upright in a chair. They usually spooned when she’d slept over before but when they’d slept next to each other during her recovery Harvey had made it a point to give her space in case she was in any physical pain. But he’d wake up in the middle of the night to her curled up against his side and he’d shift over to wrap his arm around her. He knew when he was being asked to hold her, and he knew it was best to comply.
After a couple days, Harvey began to feel a little useless. Eventually she was tending to her own needs, taking care of feeding herself etc. He still felt that she was distant, and he’d yet to try and broach the topic of what happened. He wasn’t sure if she was ready to talk, and given that she didn’t bring up what happened herself he figured it was going to be some time before she gave any indication she wanted to speak about it. So he bit back the questions, the lingering concern of the after effects. They weren’t back to a normal routine yet, which made him think she wasn’t exactly back to normal herself. And given she didn’t give him any ideas as far as what she needed from him, he was beginning to worry. He recalled that moment she gave in to the shard removal, the suggestion that had been made by one of the Murder Club kids. You’ll hurt Harvey. If that was the thought that clicked with her, that led her to give up her demonic powers… He was beginning to think that maybe the reason she wasn’t opening up to him about what had happened was because deep down she blamed him for it. What if she didn’t want to give it up? She did give them a fight at the end there… What if she regretted giving it up? And if he was the reason she did do that… Did she resent him for it? He hated admitting he was an insecure man, but late at night when he was alone to his thoughts and she felt like she was pulling even further away from him… It was all he could think about. What if she hates me now? Deep down he knew it was a stupid thought, but she wasn’t giving him a reason to think otherwise.
When they laid down the next evening, Harvey carefully moving in closer to her while still maintaining space between them, he’d found he had enough tip toeing around her and to point blank ask her what she wanted from him. So as Mariana settled into her pillow, he turned to look straight at her and abruptly asked, “Do you want me to spoon you?” He watched her brows knit in response to his random outburst and so he continued speaking. “I mean… Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and you’re sleeping against me and I realize when we go to bed I don’t, like, try to hold you or anything. I guess I’m asking if you want me to cuddle with you when we go to bed?” It felt so weird asking for clarification on something that was typically second nature for them. Dragging a hand through his curls, he slid his palm over his face and sighed deeply.
“I just… I don’t know what you need from me right now. Things have been kinda weird and I feel pretty nervous around you and I just… I’m worried I’m not giving you what you need right now. So I need you to tell me what it is that you need me to do, or want me to do to help you through whatever is going on in your head lately. I won’t push or ask you to open up to me if you’re not ready to do so. Even if you’re never ready… it’s fine, I’ll understand but I need you to tell me what I can do for you now to help make things okay again. I feel kinda useless which is fine most of the time but in the case of the girl I love, I - I just want to be able to do something for her. So please just… help me out a little. Give me something.” When she finally said something, Harvey was a bit surprised at what she said. He blinked a couple times before his gaze softened. He’d been an idiot. All this time he’d been working himself up feeling useless and he forgot one very simple fact about their relationship. Companionship. In its simplest form Mariana really just enjoyed his companionship. It took him a bit of time to realize that, pushing himself to the brink of insanity creating overly romantic moments filled with grand gestures when really all he needed to do was just be there and she seemed content.
Cheeks a bit pink with a slight blush, Harvey moved closer to her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to his chest, tangling his legs with hers under the covers as he weaved his fingers through her blonde hair. “You want to listen to me?” He asked quietly, awaiting her confirmation. “What should I do? Just say whatever? Tell a story or…?” His nerves were getting the better of him but he swallowed them back and cuddled her closer. She wasn’t asking for much, there was no sense complicating things. She probably just wanted to be held by her boyfriend and listen to his soft voice while she dozed off. How hard could that be? He pressed his lips to her forehead, and smiled when he swore she moved in closer. He could do this for her. He was pretty sure he’d do just about anything for her.
“Okay, I can talk. If that’s what you want, then I’ll just keep talking until you’re fast asleep. I, uh… I was looking at the calendar while cleaning the dishes earlier and I realized something. Prom is coming up. Yeah I started thinking about it, trying to remember where I packed my tux. You know, from things like debut. ‘A gentleman should always have a tuxedo in case the situation calls for it.’ That’s what Margaret used to say. Anyway, I started mentally tallying up the cost of everything. Limo, corsage… Thought that instead of taking you to the motel afterwards like a total cheapskate that we could ditch town and drive to the city and stay at a fancier place for a long weekend. Make a whole trip out of it. Didn’t you tell me that after prom it wasn’t a requirement to go to classes? I think you said that once. Like a year ago… Whoa, we’ve been dating for almost a year now. That’s pretty wild. I think after everything we’ve been through this year, we deserve to run off and ignore everyone for a few days.” He chuckled, “Not that I’m suggesting I should be your date to your Senior Prom. I mean I figured some of the football players and other guys in town will attempt to ask you, and I should at least give them the chance to try. We both know I can do a kickass promposal, but I’m kinda curious what the other kids in town may come up with. Who knows — Maybe one of them will woo you better than me. Then I can spend another prom night in my boxers watching Lord of the Rings. Just know it’d be your loss because I’m a great awkward slow dance partner. And I look good in a tux.”
Smiling, he pulled Mariana practically on top of him, curling both his arms around her and pressing kisses into her hair and onto her face. He wanted to give her some sense of normalcy, something that was a bit more like their usual routine. And cuddles and chaste kisses while he joked about prom and her many suitors seemed like a good start. A reminder that there was still so much to look forward to and that, shard or no shard, she was a gorgeous girl that boys tripped themselves over. She was still that girl that took his, and likely everyone’s, breath away.
“Whatever happens, just promise me this — no truth or dare with random kids you don’t recognize, okay?”
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adarlingwrites · 4 years ago
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Absolution
Summary:
noun: formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment
The Capital Wasteland lauded the Lone Wanderer as a hero, a Messiah, a savior who's willing to give her life for the Good Fight. Beyond the legends, the propaganda, and the mythification that surrounded her legacy, there is only one person who knew her bare soul. She gave him his absolution, and now he will fight for hers.
I
September 5, 2277.
That night was the night I learned her name.
Business was slow, with only a few customers dragging their feet in. Patchwork stumbles in and tries to get yet another drink. Ahzrukhal wasn’t amused in the slightest, not at all. Patchwork’s tab already exceeded what he deemed acceptable. So, he turned to me.
“Charon?”
“Yes.”
“Teach our friend Patchwork here a lesson.”
“As you command.”
The poor bastard tried to backpedal away when I advanced on him and grabbed him by the collar. I dragged him out the door, and without warning, threw him over the balcony. The ghouls beneath steered clear, knowing better than to intervene. As I went down the stairs to torment him further, he tried screaming for help, but nobody came. This is our normal.
As I walked over to break his fingers, a shout rang from Tulip’s shop. The voice isn’t a ghoul’s.
“Whoa, what the hell?!”
It’s Vaultie, holding a baseball bat and running towards us. The kid had stuck a few bits of armor over that stupid bright blue jumpsuit and a rusty assault rifle lie holstered on her back. She still hasn't discarded the bright red cap, though, and her dark hair was tied in a loose bun. Still a combat hazard.
“Smoothskin,” Tulip rasps, running after her. “Don’t. It’s better you stay out of it.”
She whirls to the ghoulette. “Why would I? You’re telling me you guys just let people get beaten up in the open around here?”
“Keep your voice down, Percy,” Tulip warns, placing a rotting hand on Vaultie’s forearm, and Vaultie didn’t flinch when the ghoulette touched her.
So, her name is Percy. Sounds right for a rough little tomboy like her, but I have no reason to say that out loud. I stayed silent.
“Charon doesn’t act on his own accord. He’s under Ahzrukhal’s orders.”
The kid brushes Tulip off, but the action is without malice or disgust. I was in the middle of pulling Patchwork’s middle finger off when she barged over. “Hey. What did he do to deserve that?”
“Not your business,” I grunted, dropping the finger to the ground. “Talk to Ahzrukhal.”
“Hhhrkn- I asked for ‘nother drink but I forgot I didn’t pay my tab,” Patchwork gurgles, limply hanging as my free hand held his arm up.
“All that for a bar tab?” Percy remarks, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the bat harder. “How much does he owe?”
“Ask Ahzrukhal.”
That bleeding heart of hers will get her killed one day, but I felt some relief as she ran up the stairs and into the Ninth Circle. I stopped beating up the sorry drunk and hauled him back up to the bar. Inside, Percy had her palms pressed against the bartop. Ahzrukhal has a smug look plastered on his face as he counts caps.
“Well ma’am, it’s certainly enough to cover Patchwork’s tab here, yes.”
Vaultie turns her back from the bastard and looks at Patchwork, then to me. “You heard him. I’ll take him to Doc Barrows.”
“Oh, and Charon?” Ahzrukhal rasped with that grin that I wanted to punch off of his damn face.
“Yes?”
“Give Patchwork a parting jab.”
"Very well."
I can’t disobey. My fist connected with the drunk’s face and the only satisfaction I can get out of it is from imagining it was Ahzrukhal’s. Percy, quick on her feet, caught him before his body could hit the floor, setting him on one of the chairs.
“You’re quite an ass, Mister Ahzrukhal, you know that?” The glare she was giving him made my fingers itch for my shotgun out of reflex. Ahzrukhal is my contract holder, so if Vaultie here rips his throat out with her teeth like the provoked animal that she looked like at the moment, I’d be forced to shoot her down.
“Miss, let me make some things clear here,” Ahzrukhal starts, holding a shiny cap against the light. “This is my bar, and I will do as I please to keep my establishment free from riffraff. Patchwork here is one of them, and I will utilize Charon if necessary to remind him that I do not tolerate such things. Perhaps this will serve as a lesson the next time he tries to drink without pay.”
The vaultie only scoffed in response and hauled the bleeding ghoul to his feet and supported him with one shoulder. How she could not gag after breathing in the combined smell of rot, blood, and alcohol from Patchwork is beyond me.
“Utilize? You make him sound like a… like a machine,” she mutters in disbelief. She doesn’t even flinch when Patchwork bleeds on her relatively clean jumpsuit; her eyes were trained on my employer.
“We are not having this conversation about Charon again, Miss.”
“Whatever. You’ll have your day of reckoning.”
Those words sounded like fucking music to my ears. Yes, he will, I thought to myself. Vaultie has guts, I’ll give her that.
It almost makes me want to like her.
As she left, I returned to my usual corner. “Feisty girl,” Ahzrukhal pipes up as he neatly lines up his caps in the cash register. “You know, Charon, that girl has been rooting around for information on how to obtain your contract.”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t feel the need to.
September 14, 2277.
Within the span of two weeks, Percy is becoming a regular sight in Underworld. I heard the patrons talking about how she would come to trade with Tulip with the items she scavenged from the Wasteland. How she can find all those supplies is a mystery. Maybe she’s just born lucky. At night, she spends an hour in the Ninth Circle despite her dislike for Ahzrukhal, smiles and waves at me as she leaves, but I don’t acknowledge her, and the little frown she makes when I ignore her tells me about her dismay.
Tonight, she walks in the Ninth Circle with new gear and a bag of caps. She finally got rid of that ridiculous blue jumpsuit and the red cap, switching to a dark, form-fitting armor. I can’t put my finger on it, but my brain itches further the more I look at her. Then I see it, the red star behind her nape against the black.
It stirs something in my decrepit mind.
Gunfire, smoke, powder. Snow. A foreign language I can’t understand-
A bark from Ahzrukhal snapped me out of my thoughts.
“Charon. Get your thumb of out your ass. I said, accompany Miss 101 out of Underworld.”
Percy is bristling at him, glasses sliding to the tip of her nose. “You said a thousand caps, you rat bastard.”
“I’m sorry ma’am, Charon’s contract is far more valuable to me than a thousand caps. Unless, you want to reconsider the offer I gave you previously?” the fucker rasped, mockery dripping from his voice.
“Screw you,” Percy spits at him, gathering her caps. She walks away, shoulders tense as I follow her out of the bar.
“No need to throw me over the balcony, big guy. I’m going,” she snaps at me. Big guy. That was the first time she used that nickname.
With her back turned on me, I follow the curve of her spine down to her legs with my eyes and regret doing so. The previous itch I had in my brain when I see her armor-clad body is replaced with something more primal. Fuck, how old is this kid? If there was any doubt on whether I was going to burn in hell, it’s gone.
Then, the conditioning kicks in, and I tear my eyes away from her. No time for thinking. No time for imagining. Follow your orders.
Flailing and cursing when I carried her over my shoulder, she uselessly beat my back with her fists as I started carrying her out of the city. The onlookers knew better than to get involved, as usual. Ironic, how she intervened on behalf the well-being of one of Underworld’s citizens, yet they didn’t grant her the same courtesy. Later, I’d learn that this is just the beginning of her tendency to get into one-sided dealings, where everyone else just takes from her.
“Hey! Get your hands off me, my legs still fucking work,” she growls, trying to break free from my grip.
“Can’t you hear me?” she asks again as we are halfway through the concourse. “Oh, right. Ahzrukhal doesn’t like you talking to us strangers. Figures.” She stopped beating my back and just pressed her elbow against my shoulder and propped her face up with her hand. From an outsider’s point of view, we probably looked amusing.
Willow, the city sentry, lets out a tut when I tossed Percy out the door like a ragdoll, and she landed on her ass.
“Pissed Ahzrukhal off, tourist?”
“Yep. I’ll be back,” Percy hisses, rubbing the sore spot on her body. Again, I regret looking. I should’ve just slammed the door right there. “I just need another thousand freakin’ caps.”
“Good luck with that,” Willow chuckles, and resumes her patrol.
With Vaultie gone, the usual peace and quiet came back, save for the crackle of the radio on Ahzrukhal’s bartop. The usual music ends, and a news broadcast comes in.
“Men and ladies, boys and girls, prepare to be astounded, bedazzled, and otherwise stupefied! I am Three Dog, your master of ceremonies! Seems we've got - dadadadada - a bit of news, Just listen to this!”
Just great. What settlement got fucked over by raiders now?
“Remember that kid from Vault 101? Apparently, she ran into some trouble with what little law they had in Megaton. The gal beat the proprietor of the local saloon, Colin Moriarty, to death, with a baseball bat. Whaaat?! But wasn’t this the same gal who deep-sixed the live atomic bomb in the center of town out of the kindness of her heart? Why did she murder one of the town’s residents? Well, here’s the catch! When town sheriff Lucas Simms came to apprehend her, the bar employees came to Miss 101’s defense and claimed she was protecting one of them from the owner’s brutal beating. Hey, you stepped in when you thought it was necessary, 101. Some folks would rather turn their heads away at the sight of injustice, but you didn’t. No judgment here. And now, for some music.”
Huh.
For the next few hours, images of her danced behind my eyes. I imagined Percy executing Ahzrukhal with a baseball bat, just like she did to that other bar owner in the news. Me putting a boot print on his face and Percy smashing his shelf of Centaur piss while the worm whined. Unloading shotgun shells into Ahzrukhal’s ugly mug as Percy poured alcohol all over the countertop and setting it on fire. All of it involves ending Ahzrukhal in a variety of satisfying ways with the vaultie at my side. It’s a dangerous pastime. I should not feel any attachment to anyone but my employer. The contract holder has my absolute loyalty, but she’s not that person.
I really want to like her.
September 16, 2277.
When she returned two days later with a thousand more caps, I decided that I do.
Percy, brimming with enthusiasm, walked over to my corner, and before I could dismiss her, she held out my contract, my paper soul, right in front of my eyes. Then, she speaks.
“Slow down, big guy,” she chuckled, smiling. That damn smile again.  “I have good news. I’m your new employer.”
It was good fucking news indeed.
“You purchased my contract from Ahzrukhal? So, I am no longer in his service. That is good to know,” I tell her, barely containing the relief in my voice.
“Please, wait here. I must take care of something.” A knowing smile spreads across my new employer’s lips as I whip out my shotgun.
“Ahzrukhal, I was told that I was no longer in your service,” I rasp, a pleasant sensation blooming in my chest.
“That’s right, Charon. Have you come to say goodbye?”
There it is again, the fucking mocking tone in his voice. Knowing how much he pissed Percy off, he’s probably planning something, the fucking cheat. My new employer would probably turn up dead and face first in the dirt as soon as I stopped watching her. I can’t let that happen.
“Yes.”
Two blows to the head. I unloaded two shells on that asshole, one to kill him, and one out of spite. It felt fantastic. My hands were still shaking when I returned my shotgun to its holster.
“Alright, let’s go.”
Percy saunters over, eyes wide, and takes in all the carnage before her. She whistled and pats my arm almost too affectionately.
“Wow. Remind me never to get on your bad side.”
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