#and then i fucking forgot and ended up picking a different ship

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

can we do propaganda for ships that weren't included? because i'm kinda feeling like sharing rajan/kala/wolgang and lito/hernando/daniela from sense8 propaganda

that's right! TWO canon (or canon-ish depending on who you ask) polyam ships in the same show! i love them so much and i can't believe they weren't included,,, (i'm not blaming you for that and i love what you do, to be clear, i just want to share the love)

GOD DAMMIT I WAS GONNA INCLUDE RAJAN/KALA/WOLFGANG AND I FORGOT IM SO STUPID

this is my formal apology to the sens8 fandom for what my empty brain did. also yeah u can share the love it makes me happy to see ppl excited about what they're passionate about

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Sugar Rush

Family is More Than Blood Masterlist

Summary: Carol needs advice on how to ask you on a date.

Warning: fluff, some amount of angst, mention of past abuse from the Red Room and Dreykov, Val is a good friend, everyone loves to tease the reader, gay panic

Word Count: 5.3k

Maybe Carol was overthinking it. This wasn’t foreign territory to her. It was easy for her to get a girl into bed with her. Yes, it built her a reputation as a playboy, but no one got hurt. In her eyes, she was entitled to a bit of fun after all the hell she’s been through. But you were different, so Carol needed to be different. Carol found you attractive. She believed anybody was an idiot if they failed to see your physical beauty. However, it was your heart that drew her in.

Her time was between patrolling the stars and helping the Avengers on Earth. Somehow, you were all Yelena talked about when she was at the compound. Since the fall of the Accords, Yelena has painted this picture of you. Her older sister gave herself up to Dreykov, so she and Natasha could be free. Carol was intrigued by you. She wondered how someone who was captured by the darkness so young and for so long was good.

It was easy for you to capture Carol on your web; she knew you had no idea what you were doing. At first, it was the way she caught you staring at her when she got done meeting with Steve. The blush on your cheek was Carol’s new favorite color. Then, it was the way you confronted the Widow after exposing her to the red dust. You opened your arms to her without hesitation. You comforted her and reassured her that it was not her fault.

At the bar, where you thankfully agreed to get a drink, it was your smile as you tried to hide it. The way your eyes lit up when you talked about your sisters. Even when she spoke of her life, you hung on every word she said.

What she told your sisters was true. She wanted to be your friend. If it led to more (which she hopped), then she would be grateful. But it would be on your timeline; she wouldn’t force you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with.

So here she was, on her ship and lost on what to do. You were visiting the compound for a few days, and it linked up to when Carol was coming back to Earth. Your friendship was growing through text messages or short phone calls. Carol wanted to plan something fun to do together. She called Valkyrie for help. Was it wise to call her ex-girlfriend and her first girlfriend since Monica? Unsure, but there weren’t other people she could ask. Besides, she and Val ended things on good terms; they were better off as friends. “Oh captain, my captain,” Val teased when the call connected and her hologram came up. “What do I owe the pleasure?” Carol rolled her eyes.

“Am I interrupting?”

“Oh, you are, but being a king is trying work,” she sighed dramatically. “What do you need? You never call.” She winced and made a mental note to be better at that.

“I need advice.”

“Is this about the Black Widow you fancy?” Val asked.

“I don’t fancy her,” she stood up from her bed and moved around her ship. “Also, who says fancy anymore?” Val laughed. “But yes, it’s about her,” she picked up a toy for Goose and threw it. The flerken ran after it. “I want to plan something but don’t know what to do.” Val hummed.

“Is the endgame to sleep with her?” Carol slapped her hand against her forehead. “What?” Val asked while laughing. “It’s a valid question, and depending on the answer, I could give different options,” Carol sighed, picked up the toy Goose brought back, and threw it again.

“Yes,” she admitted. “But not right away. She’s special, Val, and I don’t want to fuck this up like I normally do. If I do, I will have two very pissed-off Black Widows after me,” Carol paused. “3 if her mother decides to join in on the hunt,” Val laughed so hard, she almost fell out of her chair. The sound made Carol smile. Val was a pain in her ass sometimes, but she was grateful for her.

“Goodness, I forgot how funny you are.” Carol wasn’t sure if that was a compliment, so she kept her comments to herself. “So we want friendship to possible lovers’ date ideas, right?”

“Yes,” Carol sighed, shaking her head. She was starting to regret asking Val.

“And she’s the one who gave herself up for her sisters,” Carol hummed. “Heroic,” Val was silent beside the click of her pen, and she leaned back in her chair. So Carol kept throwing the toy for Goose. “Take her to an arcade.”

“An arcade?” Carol questioned, froze mid-throw, and looked at Val’s hologram. The flerken yelled at her, so she threw it at him. Val was leaning on her desk with her hands crossed.

“Yeah, she’s probably never been to one. You guys can be all cute and competitive; then you can woo her by winning her a prize.”

“I hate you,” Carol deadpanned, but it wasn’t a bad idea.

“No, you don’t, or you wouldn’t have called me,” she had a point. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Thanks, Val,” Carol smiled. “I’ll come visit soon.”

“Bring the new boo thang,” Carol hung up before Val could say anything. Sighing, she sat down in her chair with her hands over her eyes. She felt a little silly, acting like a teenager with a crush. But she was nervous and a little anxious, and these were feelings she wasn’t used to. Goose ran over and jumped on her lap, rubbing his head against her hand to get the captain to pet him. Carol smiled.

“Maybe I should take you with me. She does want to meet you,” the flerken meowed. “Do you promise not to eat any of them?” Immediately, Goose jumped off her lap. “That does not provide me with any confidence.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“Hey stranger,” you turned around from your spot in the kitchen to see Carol. While you were in Russia, you missed your sisters. You missed spending time with Wanda, but you missed Carol the most. These feelings were something you were still trying to understand. While apart, your friendship was forged over text messages and phone calls. You worried your friendship wasn’t going to work in person.

“Did you bring him?” You asked. Carol shook her head but chuckled at your frown.

“Stark doesn’t like Goose,” she said and took half of the sandwich you made. You could give two fucks about Stark’s feelings. You wanted to meet the cat or Flerken or whatever. “Goose tried to eat him last time.”

“Good,” you shrugged. “He probably deserved it.” Carol laughed and took a bite. “Is it good?” The captain nodded with a smile. You rolled your eyes and took a bite of your half. She was right. It was good. Another thing about the compound is that your food was never safe.

“Do you have plans for tonight?” Usually, you would spend it with whoever wanted to watch a movie or play video games.

“Nope,” you said. “Do you want to do something?” You watched her smile grow, and you enjoyed it.

This is the first time you’ve done this. You only looked at someone and enjoyed their mannerisms by analyzing every detail for a mission. Slowly, you were unlearning those behaviors while leaving with the Avengers. Wanda liked tea before she went to bed. Steve always had a sketchbook next to him. When Yelena was nervous or anxious, she played with the rings on her fingers.

You liked learning about Carol. When she was reading over a mission report, she was spinning a pen between her fingers. Her eyes would light up when she was asked about Monica or Goose because she loved them both. She was playful, snarky, and wasn’t afraid to tease your sisters or Tony. “Do you want to go somewhere with me?” She asked.

“Do I get to know where we are going?” you countered. Carol shook her head. “It sounds like you are kidnapping me,” the captain smirked.

“Do you think I could kidnap you and get away with it?” You shrugged. It would be a challenge, but it would be fun. Besides, she could not get very far. Carol laughed.

“Do you trust me?” It went against your training to trust anyone, but you wanted to trust her.

“Yes,” you answered.

“Good, wear something casual, and I’ll pick you up at 5,” she winked at you, leaving you alone in the kitchen. You shook your head with a smile and ignored the way her playful gesture filled your stomach with butterflies. Instead of focusing on the upcoming hang-out with Carol, you began to clean the kitchen. It was a simple task that kept your mind busy and present. You were so distracted that you didn’t realize someone else entered the kitchen.

“Why are you cleaning?” You jumped at the sound of Wanda’s voice. “I am going to brag for years that I was able to sneak up on you,” you rolled your eyes at the witch and splashed water at her before drying your hand. “That was uncalled for.”

“Are you hungry? I can make you something quick,” you said, ignoring her question by opening the fridge and pretending to look through it. But you felt her eyes on your back. “Stop that,” you said.

“Then answer my question,” you sighed and closed the fridge. Wanda sat on a chair, and you leaned against the counter. Thankfully, Wanda gave you time to collect your thoughts. It seemed wild that these people cared about you when you hadn’t been in the compound for long. It was a feeling you were getting used to. You’ve been on your own for so many years. Sighing, you twisted the ring your sisters gave you for your birthday.

“Carol asked if I wanted to hang out tonight, and I said yes,” you said slowly.

“You guys hand out all the time,” Wanda said with a slight tilt of her head. That was true. If you weren’t with Wanda or your sisters, you were with Carol.

“Her asking me felt different,” you told her. “I think she asked me on a date.” A smile grew on the witch’s face.

“Finally!” She threw her arms in the air. “I’ve been so tired of listening to her thoughts whenever you guys are in the same room.” You felt your body heat up.

“She thinks about me?” You questioned.

“All the time,” she answered honestly. “Some thoughts aren’t very PG,” you groaned and snapped a towel at her. Wanda laughed and took your weapon of choice. “I will be fine,” she said. “Besides, she is in your mind just as much, if not more.” You flipped Wanda off as she took an orange from the fruit bowl and left.

You tried to keep your thoughts at bay around Wanda. Yelena told you the story of how they met the witch. You trusted her, especially since your sisters did, but your mind was filled with so much bloodshed you caused that you did not want to subject her to that. Of course, she was right. Carol always seemed to be on your mind. Maybe it wasn’t a bad thing after all.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“An arcade?” you questioned and looked at Carol. You stood at the entrance, amazed by the sounds and lights.

“Yeah, I thought it would be fun and a little competitive.” Carol walked over to the counter and bought two game cards from the high schooler. You were busy looking at the lights flashing and the sounds of the games. “Is this okay?” she asked and handed you a card that looked like an ID.

“I’ve never been to one,” you followed her to where the prizes were. They had candy, stuffed animals, and fidget toys. Above everything else were the more expensive prizes like game consoles and household products. You weren’t sure what a kid would do with an air fryer. “There was one in the mall in Ohio, but I wasn’t allowed to go in.” You were so jealous of the kids that were running around being kids.

“Is this okay?” Her question snapped you of your thoughts. She looked concerned.

“I’m gonna kick your ass in that shooting game I saw.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You won the shooting game, but she got more tickets than you. Combined, you had enough for a small teddy bear that she gave to you, and after the arcade, she took you to dinner for food. You had a great time. Not that you feared you wouldn’t, but this felt different. You weren’t afraid to hide your glances at her as you watched her concentrate on the silly games. She was adorable, and the smile on your face hurt your cheeks.

“Hey,” Carol’s gentle voice pulled you out of sleep. “We are back at the compound.” You opened your eyes and blinked away the sleep.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” you rubbed your eyes and Carol smiled.

“It’s fine,” she said and turned off the car. You looked cute.” It was reflexes when you punched her arm softly, but you felt your body heat up at the compliment. Her laughter followed you as you exited the car with her teddy bear in hand. Out of the car, you heard the weather—the pounding of the rain against the walls. There was the distinct sound of thunder.

“It’s raining,” you said.

“Yup,” Carol closed the door of the car. “We seemed to have followed the storm.” A smile grew on your face. “Why are you smiling?” You loved the rain. You loved laying in bed and listening to the weather back in Ohio. Sooner rather than later, Yelena would end up in your but that moment of peace you cherished. Without answering, you placed your prize on the car’s roof and walked to the garage door. The hum of the garage opener filled the silence. Then, the smell of petrichor filled your lungs. “What are you doing?”

You glanced over your shoulder with a mile and walked up the driveway. Immediately, the rain soaked your clothes. A gasp left your lips as the temperature of the rain startled you. Soon, your body got used to the cold. “You are going to get sick,” Carol said with a smile and crossed arms.

“I can’t get sick,” it was a half-truth. It was more challenging for you to get sick. “You can come keep me warm,” you smirked. You held your breath as you watched Carol think it over. Maybe you were being too forward. Perhaps all she wanted was to be friends. The captain shook her head. With a smile, she ran up the ramp and into you. You laughed as you wrapped your arms around her neck, and she spun you in a circle. Carol placed you on the ground. Your laughter died down, and you stared at her lips.

You couldn’t remember your first kiss. It was before Ohio, you thought - a short kiss between you and another Window. As you got older, kissing was used as a tool. You would make out with a target and slip a sedative in their drink. Now you wanted to kiss someone and have it mean something. That scared you. Would kissing her change what you already had? You would rather stay friends than ruin it.

“Tag your it,” you said, tagged the Avenger, and ran off. Running seemed like the more straightforward thing to do.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Carol sighed and stepped out of the bathroom. Her hair was still wet from the shower, but she had time to dry and style it. Her phone rang when she changed into gray pants and a white sports bra. “Hey Val,” she said, placing the phone on speaker. “I find it rude that you aren’t at this party.” Val laughed.

“Maybe Stark shouldn’t plan something so last minute,” Val had a point. “Turn on your camera. Let me see what you are wearing.” Carol rolled her eyes and placed her phone against the lamp to turn on the camera. She was finishing buttoning her white shirt when her friend’s face appeared on the phone. “I like the gray suit,” she wiggled her eyebrows. “Is she going to be there?”

“Not sure,” Carol stood in the bathroom to dry her hair and brushed it out. “She’s returning from a mission. Nat isn’t sure if she’ll be back.”

“But you are still trying to look hot,” Carol shrugged.

“Always good to be prepared,” she returned to the closest to put on her gray vest. It was more than just looking good. She felt confident in this suit. After the almost kiss in the raid, she needed all the confidence she could get.

“What’s wrong?” Val asked. “If you keep frowning like that, you will get more wrinkles.” The captain flipped her friend off. “So what’s the matter?” Carol sighed.

“We almost kissed last week, and we haven’t hung out since then,” she told her. “I don’t want to force her into something she isn’t ready for. I’d rather be friends than lose her.” Val was watching her closely.

“You aren’t forcing her, Carol,” she said. “If she did not like you, she wouldn’t hang out with you. " That was true, but Carol was worried. She is her own person.” You were, and Carol was lucky to see glimpses of the person you were becoming. “Goodness, you have it bad for her.”

“Shut up,” Carol mumbled, but she did not deny it. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Let me know how it goes!” Carol waved and ended the call. She had it bad for you, and it was so worth it.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“There she is!” Yelena cheered. Carol watched the blonde run over to you. Something short-circuited in Carol’s brain. It wasn’t her proudest moment; the way her jaw dropped, a bit of her drink fell down her chin.

“Damn, you got it bad, Danvers,” Steve laughed and handed her a napkin. Carol snatched it out of his hand.

“Language, soldier,” but he wasn’t wrong. It was hard not to look at you. She saw the politicians glance your way. The red dress highlighted your figure with a thigh slight and spaghetti straps. She could tell you were wearing little makeup, but you never needed it, in her opinion. Steve chuckled.

“Maybe you should tell her how you feel,” he said. “You never know what could happen”. Carol looked at Steve and then back at you. Natasha and Maria joined the small group around you. You caught her looking, and you waved. She raised her glass to you with a smile. It was embarrassing how often she thought about kissing you or holding you in her arms. But she promised your sisters and herself she would take it slow and not force you.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Maybe you’re right.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

God, you hated parties with politicians. The dress wasn’t helping your situation, but when Sonya discovered your slight crush on Carol, she suggested the red dress. It was working. Her eyes were on you as soon as you arrived, but she hadn’t moved toward you. You sat at the table with your back to the wall, nursing a rum and coke. Yelena was with Sam and Wanda. Natasha was talking with some politicians whose names you couldn’t remember. You weren’t worried. She could handle herself around men like this. Men who valued power over personal values. It was hard to find a good politician these days. Maria and Steve were with her.

Honestly, you were so exhausted - mind, body, and soul - which wasn’t helping your mood. The past three days were late nights chasing down Widows, exposing them to the red dust, and then helping them settle. All you wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for a week, but luck was not on your side. Tony was having a party with a few politicians. You could have gone back to Russia, but it was packed with Widows, and you would get no rest with Alexei being annoying. So, the compound was the best option. Even though Yelena wanted to see you at the party. “Well, well, well,” a man said, walking over to you. He was drinking an old fashion. “Mind if I join you?”

“It’s all yours, sir. " He smiled and took the empty seat. I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.”

“David Palmer,” he extended his hand for you to shake. Before you could introduce yourself, he cut you off. “I know who you are,” you said, keeping your smile on your face and tapping into your training. To everyone here, you were a businesswoman from Boston. The fewer people who knew you were with the Avengers, the better.

“Who am I, Mr. Palmer?” You asked and sipped on your drink. You saw Carol looking at you over the man’s shoulder.

“You are Dreykov’s spider,” he whispered as if he were telling you a secret. You felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, but you kept on smiling. It was only a matter of time before you ran into someone who knew your past. You wished it wasn’t happening here. You circled the liquid in your glass and leaned back in the chair with your right leg crossed over your left. His eyes trailed up and down your body.

“If I am who you think I am,” you said. “What will you do with that information, Mr. Palmer?” He sipped on his drink and looked around the party.

“Do they know?” He questioned. “Do they know everything you did for him?” Natasha and Yelena knew a fraction of what occurred between you and Dreykov. But you wanted to keep that a secret for the others, especially Carol. “I’m guessing they don’t because you are among the heroes here.”

“What do you want, Palmer?” You asked. You were done with being nice. He wanted something. It was the only reason he was here. David placed a hand on your thigh. You fought your instincts not to break every one of his fingers. You hated the way his hand felt on you.

“Just one night with you,” he said. “Or I won’t go to the press. No one will know that the Avengers are harboring a killer.” His hands squeezed the flesh of your thigh. “You can imagine how bad that would look for them.”

They would lose their credibility with the public. Everything would be questioned. As for you, well, you could not care. You had to protect them, but you hated the idea of sleeping around to keep a secret. “Thank you, Mr. Palmer, but I’d have to decline your very generous offer.” You removed his hand and stood up. Before you could walk away, he grabbed your hand and pulled you back, flesh to his chest.

“Do you think you are better than us, slut?” He asked. You’ve dealt with men like this before. Men that weren’t used to hearing no. “You are a nobody without the men that made you. So get on your knees and start serving me.”

Before you reconnected with your sisters, you would have done it. You would have gotten on your knees and pleased him because that was how you were trained. You were different now. Your life was different, and you hated the way this man touched you. You twisted out of his hold and grabbed a pressure point on his wrist. The man crumbled to his knees. The irony. “It’s not nice to grab someone if they don’t want to be touched.” You felt the eyes of everyone at the party. You were causing a scene.

You quickly turned around, put your half-finished drink on the bar, and walked to the stairs to the roof. Even with the Red Room gone, that place was still haunting you.

You liked the way the cold weather felt on her arms. It was like a gentle embrace, a crisp and refreshing touch that awakened your senses. The air’s chill contrasted with your skin’s warmth, creating a delightful shiver. There was a sense of tranquility in the coolness, a quiet calm that settled over everything. Each breath you took felt clearer and purer. “What did he say to you?” Carol asked, walking up behind you.

“Nothing, I haven’t heard before,” you answered, not looking at her. Even when she stood next to you.

“You can tell me if it would make you feel better.” You shook your head.

“I don’t want you to look at me differently,” you admitted. She was quiet as you both stared into the vast darkness.

“I could never,” you glanced at her, and she looked at you. “Do you need a hug?” she asked. You nodded, and she was quick to pull you into a hug. Her warmth was intoxicating. Your body relaxed, and muscles loosened as if you had shredded a heavyweight. Her hug felt safe, a sanctuary where you could feel relaxed and at ease. “I almost punched him,” she broke the beat of silence that passed between you and her.

“Better you than me. He’s a slimy piece of shit,” her chest vibrated as she laughed.

“Oh, I know. I hated how he looked at you,” so did you. It was like you were a piece of meat to him. Then again, it wasn’t a look you were unfamiliar with. You pulled out of the hug to look at her better. “You do look stunning in this dress, by the way,” you smiled and fixed her tie and gray vest that you had messed up from the hug.

“You don’t look half bad yourself, Captain.” You liked the way her cheeks blushed. “I wore this for you, by the way,” you walked away, fingers running across the metal railing. You felt her eyes on your back.

“Wait, wait,” she jogged to catch up. “What did you mean by that?” You shrugged as she gently grabbed your wrist but immediately let go of you. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have grabbed you.” You frowned at her statement. You offered her your hand, and she took it. “Why did you wear this dress for me?” She asked. You concentrated on the way your hand felt against hers. Her hand was rough but warm. It showed years of hard work.

“I wanted you to notice me,” you whispered.

“Notice you?” Carol questioned. “I am always noticing you. I can’t keep my eyes off of you,” a small squeak left the back of your throat. Carol smiled. “Do you want to go on a date?”

“Like a date-date?” You questioned. “Not as friends, but maybe as something more.”

“Do you want to be something more?” The question stumped you. But Carol was patient and played with the ring your sisters gave you on your finger. Did you want more? Did you want to go on dates? To fall asleep in her arms? To wake up to the feeling of her lifts on your skin? The idea terrified you. Before Carol, you ‘dated’ two other people. One was a girl in your class in Ohio. You both were too young to understand what it meant. The second person was a Red Room guard who trusted the man’s loyalty. He failed, so he was killed. There was a brief moment when you thought you were in love with the Winter Solider, but Carol could be different.

She would be someone without the influence of the Red Room, someone who understood a life of fighting, someone who could like you and look based on the scars on your body and the blood on your hands. “Yes,” you finally said. “But I’m not sure if I’ll be good at this,” Carol smiled and hugged you again. Immediately, you slummed into her warmth.

“I’m in the same boat,” she chuckled. “We can learn together.” Her lips briefly touched your forehead. The spot tingled, and it made you smile.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Your eyes closed as soon as your back hit your bed. Carol walked you to your room, kissed you on the cheek, and wished you a good night. You were frozen to the spot for a split second, and touched your cheek. Finally, you entered your room, showered, changed, and flopped onto the bed. The exhaustion of the past few days was catching up to you. But your eyes were forced open when there was rapid knocking on your door. “Come in,” you called out. The door opened. Suddenly, a body jumped on you, and blonde hair covered your vision. You groaned. “Get your fat ass off of me,” you pushed your sister off, and she fell onto the floor with a grunt.

“First of all, I am not fat,” she stood up. “Second, you are just jealous of this ass.” You rolled your eyes, and she sat next to you. “We wanted to make sure you are okay.” You pushed yourself up to your elbows and saw Natasha. Your sisters were changed and freshly showered.

“Stark threw that jackass out, and Maria is working on getting him removed from office,” it was a start, and you were grateful they were taking it seriously. But you knew it was only a matter of time before another dirty politician took his place.

“I’m okay,” you told your sisters. You watched Natasha close the door and sit down next to you. “What he said to me is stuff I’ll always hear.” You were numb to all of it. You’ve been called a monster, a slut, a killer. Everything from A to Z was thrown at you. It was something you were used to.

“I thought Carol was going to kill him,” Yelena said. “Steve had to stop her.” The mention of Carol made you smile, biting your lip, which Natasha noticed.

“What happened on the roof?” You shrugged, but the smile gave you away. Natasha nudged your shoulder with hers. “Come on, tell us.”

“She asked me on a date,” you said slowly. “And I said yes.”

“You said yes?” Yelena questioned. You nodded. There was silence before Yelena squealed and put her arms around you. She shook you from side to side.

“You and Natasha could go on double dates,” Honestly, that was the last thing you wanted to do. You pushed Yelena to the floor again. “Stop doing that!” You laughed and looked at the redhead. You weren’t sure why you looked for Natasha’s approval.

“I’m so happy for you,” she squished your cheeks. “Look at you dating. I love seeing you all happy,” you pushed her hands away and glared at her. That was payback for your teasing with Maria.

“I hate you,” you deadpanned. Natasha smiled. She stood up and moved to the top of your bed. “What are you doing?” You asked.

“You need sleep,” she answered. “Melina said it had been a long few days.”

“Alright, Mom,” you crawled up to the headboard. “Are you going to tuck me in?” She flicked your forehead. “Fuck off!” You said and rubbed the spot she flicked.

“Move over,” Yelena said, pushing you to the bed’s edge.

“I’m gonna need some room, too,” Natasha added. Yelena pushed closer to you, and Natasha laid down next to her. “You need a bigger bed.”

“I wasn’t expecting sleepovers all the time,” you said, closing your eyes and slowly falling asleep to the steady beat of Yelena’s heart. Then you felt Natasha’s hand on your shoulder. You opened your eyes to see Natasha looking at you.

“I hope you know we don’t think you are any of those things that man called you,” she whispered. “No one here does.” You forced a smile.

“Thank you, Nat,” you whispered. “Now go to sleep,” she chuckled, and you closed your eyes. It did not matter what they thought of you. You knew who you were. You knew you were a killer. The blood on your hands runs deep. No matter how often you tried washing your hands, the blood remained.

[goldflinches]

the same difference (snippet)

Summary: A friend is a friend, even a few realities removed.

(or: Hob meets a different Dream. He deals with it with as much grace as he can. Which is to say, not much at all.)

---

Square/Prompt: B3 - Obsession | @dreamlingbingo

Rating: Teen

Ship(s): Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling

Additional Notes & Warnings: Show!Hob meets Comic!Dream and Comic!Hob meets Show!Dream (Yes, Based On That Fanart by Alexxuun), First Meetings (Sort Of), Matthew Being A Menace

---

Hob’s day starts with a rude bird.

Matthew, the aforementioned rude bird, announces his surprise visit with a loud “INCOMING!” All before swooping into Hob’s small apartment through the open window, honing in on his toast, landing, and then tearing into it with gusto.

It’s six thirty-nine on another gray, drizzly morning. Hob is still groggy and his lukewarm coffee is mostly on the floor, partially on his shirt. A talking raven is eating his breakfast. Surely, this has to be some sort of ominous thing and not just the actual baseline mundanity of his life. Talking ravens have to be harbingers of…something. Lost breakfasts. Crumbs. Friends who haven’t been in touch for the past three weeks and five days—okay no, it’s too early and he’s too caffeine-deficient for that train of thought right now. Sighing, he tries to pick at the piece of toast Matthew hasn’t devoured yet, only to be met with a quick snap of a beak. “Good morning to you too,” grumbles Hob as he gets up to make his breakfast. Again.

In the kitchen, he hears the telltale susurration of sand from behind him. Hob feels a smile steal across his face immediately, then bites it back almost just as fast. He continues making his second breakfast. As he’s adding another piece of bread to the to-be-toasted pile, he says over his shoulder, “Dream, your bird is eating me out of house and—“ "Oh fuck," croaks Matthew suddenly, “Shit, I forgot—“ Alarmed, Hob whirls around, butter knife and Dream’s favorite brand of strawberry jam at the ready. And he comes face to face with his friend. Or at least, some version of Dream. One with wilder hair and sharper angles, drawn like dancing shadows of tree branches. This Dream smiles with more fang in tooth when he greets Hob with a familiar, resonant tone. “Hello, Hob Gadling.” Hob drops the jam jar.

---

Hob’s day ends with a rude bird.

It had been a long day in a long line of long days and all Hob wanted to do was enjoy a nightcap before sleeping the weekend away. The loud, insistent tapping on the door was not part of the plan. Even as he’s standing in front of the door, Hob contemplates just pretending to not be at home. The hammering on the door gets more intense, almost as if sensing his thoughts. With a defeated sigh, Hob opens a door. And of all things, a raven swoops right in.

It flies down the hall, towards the rest of his condominium with a battle caw, doing a sweep of the space as Hob trails a few paces behind it, utterly bewildered. Ravens are…omens aren’t they? Bad luck or some shoddy housekeeping in this case. He wonders what his old friend would have to say about that, might bring it up next time he deigned to drop by—no, not something worth contemplating right now. At least without a good amount of alcohol in his system.

By now, the bird has perched on his leather sofa, making its mark on the upholstery. Hob slowly approaches it when it opens its beak and, in a clearly American accent, announces, “ALL CLEAR BOSS!” Another layer of confusion is added when Hob hears a deep sigh from the entryway. The raven continues on, “C’mon Boss, you know I had to vet this rando—,” and Hob cannot believe he left the door open. He tunes out the talkative raven as he makes his way down the hallway. On the way, he grabs an…umbrella. It has some heft at least but he’s definitely had to make do with less in the past. Twisting it around in his hands, Hob starts thinking about different scenarios and exit strategies and how he is not in the mood to move on to a new life, whoever is at the door better be ready for his ferocious umbrella backhand— At the doorway stands his friend. Or some other form of his friend. One with a softer lines and sleek planes, like a reflection on the surface of a still, fathomless lake. This version of his friend smiles with only a small curl of his lips, greeting Hob with a voice he misses despite himself.

“Hello, Hob.” Hob grips the umbrella tighter.

[miley1442111]

down bad- jj maybank

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: yes, i am a swifty- sorry lmao. I was thinking of doing a story for every track but we'll see how that ends up lol.

intended for fem!reader

summary: based off of down bad by taylor swift

pairings: jj maybank x fem!reader, (platonic) rafe cameron x adopted sister

warnings: break-ups, no happy ending

Did you really beam me up

In a cloud of sparkling dust

Just to do experiments on

Tell me I was the chosen one

Show me that this world is bigger than us

Then send me back where I came from?

It was another party and another useless attempt at calling Jj. You sat in the corner, exhaustion pulling at your eyelids, yet you stayed. You stayed for the small chance that Jj might come. It might’ve been your birthday, but you’d never been less merry in your life.

For a moment, I knew cosmic love

What happened? You two had been the pogue couple. You two were perfect for each other, his teenage petulance, your logical mindset. You were going to college on the mainland, you’d probably bring him with you. At least, that’s what the entire island thought. 

You were his sense. You were his saviour. You stopped his excessive drinking and smoking. You were there for him every time he stood up to his father. You helped him with schoolwork when everyone else had given up on him. You stayed by his side, always. 

And he discarded you. 

Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym (Cryin' at the gym)

Everything comes out teenage petulance

Fuck it if I can't have him (Fuck it if I can't have him)

I might just die, it would make no difference

Down bad, wakin' up in blood (Wakin' up in blood)

Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up

Fuck it if I can't have us

I might just not get up, I might stay

You sat there all night, waiting for a sign of him. He didn’t show. He forgot your birthday. He must’ve really been done with you. 

As you swept up the remnants of a party you didn’t want, a familiar voice rang through the house. 

“You alright?” Rafe, your brother. You wanted to scream, but you took a deep breath instead, a pleasant smile on your tear-stained face. 

“Fine,” you lied. “How are you?”

“I heard Jj left you,” he sighed. “I’m sorry-”

“If you’re here to gloat Rafe, I’m not in the mood,” you sighed. “Just go.”

He didn’t move. “I’m sorry-”

You rolled your eyes and pulled his hand off you. “Leave me alone.”

“I’m here for you, you know that, right?” 

You didn’t want Rafe to be there for you, you wanted Jj to be there for you. You hadn’t felt rejection and devastation like this break-up. Jj was your first love, your first everything. Every time you closed your eyes you felt his hands on your body, his whispers in your ear, his smile on your skin. 

Down bad (Like I lost my twin)

Fuck it if I can't have him (Down bad)

Down bad (Wavin' at the ship)

Fuck it if I can't have him

“You’re my everything,” he whispered, a hand dusting your waist. “We don’t have to do anything.”

You shook your head. “I want to,” you promised. 

“You sure princess?” he smiled. You nodded. 

I loved your hostile take-overs

Encounters closer and closer

All your indecent exposures

How dare you say that it's?

I'll build you a fort on some planet

Where they can all understand it

How dare you think it's romantic

Leaving me safe and stranded?

'Cause fuck it, I was in love

So fuck you if I can't have us

(Ah)

'Cause fuck it, I was in love

You opened your eyes again, tears spilling freely. “Get out Rafe.”

“I don’t think you want that.”

“I do,” You sobbed. “I want you and everyone else on this shitty island out of my fucking life! I can’t fucking wait to get out of here, away from you and fucking away from Jj! I hate you Rafe, truthfully, I do. But I hate Jj even more, and you’re just here because your dad asked you to be and we both know it, so if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to be left alone.”

Jj stilled, the flowers in his hand falling to the floor. You turned at the sound and another choked sob left your throat. 

“Get out of my life!” You shouted, running up the stairs to your bedroom. 

Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym (Cryin' at the gym)

Everything comes out teenage petulance

Fuck it if I can't have him (Can't have him)

I might just die, it would make no difference

Down bad, wakin' up in blood (Wakin' up in blood)

Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up

Fuck it if I can't have us

I might just not get up,I might stay

Rafe sighed and looked at Jj. “What the fuck are you doing here man?”

“I wanted to see her,” he mumbled.

“You fucked her up, get out,” Rafe was baring his teeth. “I’m not telling you twice.”

“Please-” he tried but Rafe just sighed. 

Down bad (Like I lost my twin)

Fuck it if I can't have him (I'm down bad)

Down bad (Wavin' at the ship)

Fuck it if I can't have him

The summer months passed, you went to the mainland for an internship and slowly tried to forget about Jj. He forgot about you. You dreamt of him every night, wished for him every day.You left thousands of messages. 

He didn’t read them.

Like I lost my twin

Fuck it if I can't have him

Down bad (Wavin' at the ship)

Fuck it if I can't have him

[alwayssassydreamer]

I Hate Myself For Loving You

Day 15 of Kikitober (sorry i wrote a wrong prompt down for day 15 so this doesn't quite fit but I'm still posting it hope it's ok)

A/N: someone (I forgot who - sorry) gave me this idea and it turned out kinda weird as i was trying to think of an interrogation tactic that would not involve physical and not too much emotional pain. But in the end Kid is just a big softie. As always not proofread

Plot: you're after a treasure but got caught by pirates who try to make you give up the location of it, things get even more complicated when Kid arrives and demands answers but not about the treasure

Warnings: mention of torture, maybe hurt?, reader is a captive, i seriously have no idea what to put here, MDNI

Characters: Kid x F!Reader

You thought it would be easy here, meeting this man who could help you with the map that was leading to a hidden treasure, talk to him, thank him for taking his time and then get the fuck out without anybody noticing that you were even there.

But you were not expecting this pirate crew.

Bound to a chair in a dimly lit room on an enemies ship. That's not quite how you pictured this to turn out.

"Tell me dear, someone told me that you might know where the treasure is, is that true?" a rather old man with a brown beard you guessed to be the captain, asked you.

"Treasure? What kind of treasure? Never heard of a treasure here. but If you find it I'd like to have a share of it." you said looking him dead in the eye.

He stroked his beard a crooked grin on his face before he moved closer grabbing your face squeezing your cheeks.

"You think I'm an idiot?" Well yeah, that's what you were thinking.

"Someone told me that you were asking questions about a specific map and I come to think that this map might be the one leading to the gold" he hissed squeezing even harder. Damn that was getting really uncomfortable.

"Come on sweetheart tell us about the map" a tall and bulky man shouted.

"Why should I tell a pathetic pirate crew like yours anything" you snapped trying to get his hand off your face.

The crew erupted in laughter, confusing you.

"Well I guess we'll have to show you what this pathetic pirate crew is capable of. Maybe then you will talk to us" he threatened a mischievous grin on his face.

You had to admit you were a little scared now. Pissing them off was a rather stupid idea after all.

"Get me my interrogation box" the captain ordered and you swallowed hard.

Having something that's called an interrogation box did not sound good - not at all.

The captain took a chair and sat down in front of you placing the box on his lap. In it a lot of different knives, some sharp some seemed kinda blunt, varying in size and something that looked like a hammer.

The little scared feeling turned now into a big scared feeling not going unnoticed by the captain.

"What's wrong dear, fear sinking in. Not so tough anymore aren't you" he taunted as his fingers gliding over his tools.

"That should do for the warm up" he said picking a smaller knife with a clean and sharp looking blade.

Wavering it in front of you he moved closer to your arm. Just as he was about to cut you with it a man of his crew rushed towards him whispering in his ear.

The captain looked well different. Whatever the man told him it made the him get up. His face a mix of fear and frustration.

"I'll be right back. In the meantime how about you entertain our little prisoner" he said in a threatening way.

His men nodded and smiled a devilish smile at you.

Ok maybe the captain wasn't that bad after all. The fact that you were being held in this room tied to a chair surrounded by men who already undressed you with their eyes made your stomach twist.

The first one approached you moving a finger from your arm up to your neck.

"Fuck off" you yelled trying to wiggle away.

"There's no going anywhere darling, you're stuck with us, the pathetic pirate crew." a man with a scar running down his chest taunted.

"If you touch me I'm going to cut your fucking hands off" you said desperately but this only made the men laugh at you.

"Such a feisty one. I think we're gonna have a lot of fun with you" the tall man with the beard growled as his thumb brushed over your lips.

You had to think - fast if you wanted to get out of here in one piece.

"Let's see what you're hiding underneath" a third man with sleek dark hair laughed as he grabbed your shirt ripping it open leaving you in your bra as the shirt hung loosely over your shoulders.

"What a nice view" he mocked liking his lips as the other two took a step back to let the sight sink in. His hands were moving closer trying to touch your skin when the door to the room suddenly swung open.

"What's going on here" a deep voice shouted behind you.

The men were startled, fear across their faces.

"I'm sorry sir we were just havin some fun" the dark haired man apologized with a shaky voice.

You heard heavy footsteps moving closer.

"Look who we have here" the strangly familiar sounding voice said as the footsteps stopped in front of you.

"Oh fucking hell, no" you said as you looked right into Kid's eyes.

"Oh yes." he mocked with a smugly grin. He looked you up and down smiling at your demise.

"I've been told that you were messing with my subordinate crew about some treasure and I've gotta admit I love the sight of you bound to a chair unable to get away" he continued making fun of you as his huge frame hovered above you.

"Fuck off, asshole"

Kid's eyes wandered to the interrogation box.

"What's with that. Were you about to torture her" he asked pointing at the box.

"She wouldn't tell where we can find it, so we decided to help her talk" the captain said as his crew chuckled.

"You think you could get her to talk with that. She's tougher than that and too stubborn to give in believe me" Kid stated looking at you.

"But sir I'm-"

"Shut the fuck up." Kid yelled as he leaned forward his face close to yours.

"Funny how things worked out, huh? Here we are again. You, me, and some unfinished business" he almost whispered. You tensed not knowing where this was going.

"Get the fuck out of here" he suddenly shouted not removing his eyes from you.

You heard some shifting around you and then the pirates leaving while you were unable to avoid Kid's gaze.

"What's with this treasure" he asked his voice low and dangerous.

"I have no idea why everyone believes I know something about it" you said trying to be convincing.

Kid placed his flesh hand on your thigh and his metal hand on the chairs armrest as he leaned even closer trapping you beneath him and whispering in your ear. "I know you're lying. I know you better than anyone else" His lips brush against your ear his hot breath tickling you.

He moved a little to look you in the eyes before flashing a small smile.

The moment the pirates left was the moment the tension shifted. You weren't scared of getting physically hurt you knew Kid would never do that to you. Though you were still a little anxious. Kid had other ways to get what he wanted.

"What now" you asked nervously.

"Now I'm going to continue the interrogation my way, unless you want to talk to me" he growled evilly.

"Wait what-" Panic was rising inside you.

"Yeah I will have you answer every question I ask" he taunted as he dragged a finger from your collarbone between your boobs and down to your belly button, sending shivers down your spine, knowing exactly what he's doing.

He kept staring at his finger which still rested on your skin before he lifted his head.

"Now let the fun begin. The first question is easy. What's with this whole treasure thing?"

You sighed as he leaned back on the chair arms crossed.

"I might have found a map to a hidden treasure and a man on this island helped me reading it as I tried to leave your friends caught me" you explained.

"Where is the map"

"Like hell I tell you that's my treasure" you complained.

"That's not the correct answer" he smirked as he got off the chair to crouch down right before you. He grabbed one of your legs lifted it up and attacked your inner thigh with his mouth.

You gasped out of surprise cursing the shorts you wore. A small moan escaping your lips as you could feel him smile into your skin.

"Fuck stop that" you whined. He stopped but didn't let go of your leg.

"Then answer my question" he demanded

"It's in my boot. The one on the leg you're holding"

Gentle fingertips moved along your leg to your boot before pulling the map out.

"Good girl" he teased as he put your leg down and took his seat again.

"That was the easy part, now it will get tough"

"Great" you said as you tried to think of a way out.

He hesitated and suddenly something in his demenour changed.

"Why did you leave" he asked catching you off guard.

Suddenly the tension in the room became unbearable. You wanted out right now. The memory of the day you left him was too painful and you didn't want to think about it. Seeing him there right in front of you was already hard enough.

You lowered your head and he knew you wouldn't say a word. He got angry. He wanted, no he nedded to know why.

"You don’t want to talk about it?" Kid tilted his head, eyes glinting with a predatory gleam. "Fine. I’ll just have to get my answers" he snapped before attacking you again this time his mouth made contact with the tender flesh of your belly. He started biting, sucking and pulling on it - probably leaving marks.

"Kid" you stuttered voice shaky.

"Don't 'Kid' me now. What was it? Was I not enough? Did you find someone better?" he asked angrily as his mouth kept roughly devouring you. Knowing that this would get to you, it always did.

How you had missed this. How you were craving for his lips all over your body. But you couldn't let this happen. No. You left him almost a year ago, determined to never meet him again - the memories of your time together too painful.

He stopped his assault and instead placed small kisses from your waistline up to your chest before moving to your neck.

"You changed" you hitched as the sensation of him sucking on your neck became too much. He stopped, letting go of you.

You took a deep breath. "You changed - not for the good."

"What do you mean?" he asked and you were sure you could hear anger in his voice.

"You've become ruthless, and you pushed me away because you became obssessed with power and revenge and I couldn't take it anymore" you continued biting back a tear .

For a moment he stood there saying nothing but you could see his jaw clenching.

"You couldn't take it! Did you ever wonder what it was like for me when you just left" he shouted, now making you angry too.

"For fuck's sake I was constantly worried about you" you almost screamed. Kid blinked, taken aback by what you just said, though he tried not to show it outright. "You started to throw yourself into danger almost like you were on a suicide mission, like your life doesn't matter" you continued as the anger slowly subdued.

Kid stared at you for a long moment clenching his fist. "And all this time, you never thought to tell me this"

"What should I have said. Oh love please stop being a fucking menace because I'm terrified that you could die. Would you have listened to me?" and there was the anger again.

He said nothing knowing that you made a point. He would have listened to you but he probably would have brushed your concerns off.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The tension between you simmered, heavy with unresolved feelings.

"Do you still love me?" he asked looking at you intensely as you couldn't stop a tear from rolling down your face.

"You know the answer" you mumbled.

This moment, this vulnerability in your gaze reminded him of the times you've spent together. He started to realize that he missed you more than he wanted to admit.

"Last question before the games' over" he said his voice a mixture of anger, frustration and fear.

"Would you give me a second chance"

"I...." you paused not knowing what to say. Part of you wanted to scream yes but another part reminded you of why you left him.

"Forget it this whole thing was stupid from the start" he got up angrily and frustrated knocking the chair down in the process before aggressivly freeing you from your restraints.

"You're free to go better take the opportunity" he growled as you rubbed your wrists. You got up and moved towards the door hand already on the handle when you stopped and turned to look at him.

"What were you doing on this ship?" you asked eyes narrowing.

"None of your business" he snapped avoiding your gaze, muscles tensing.

You stepped closer stopping in front of him. "Funny that a treasure map that so many would like to have in their hands ends up in mine." you started observing him closely. "Now that I think about it what's even funnier is that on this whole treasure hunt I not once had to fight off someone or even got in trouble"

He tensed his jaw clenching, eyes focused on the ground.

"Why" you asked softly.

Your words hit a nerve, and Kid finally looked at you, his expression torn between anger and frustration.

"You think I let you run around chasing this treasure knowing how many other pirates are after it without keeping an eye on you."

You looked at him confused

"I had someone slip you the map, I remembered how your eyes gleamed everytime we went on a treasure hunt. So I made sure you got it, but then I found out that this was a map a lot of people wanted and i got worried." he continued his explanation

"You should never find out but who would have guessed that I had to jump in against my own subordinates." He mutters almost ashamed.

"You protected me the whole time?" you hadn’t expected this, heart racing as you tried to process the revelation.

Kid scoffed trying to hide his emotions. Secretly hoping that this might bring you back to him. Even though he knew better.

"Softie" you teased with a small laugh.

He stepped closer to you. "If you keep mocking me I'll tie you back down" he growled making you raise your hands in defense.

"And now go, before I change my mind and drag you back into this mess." he muttered. You could almost see his heart ache, no matter how hard he tried to hide it he didn't want you to go.

Once again you hesitated it was as if your head was already out the door but your heart couldn't move.

"Why are you doing this to me? To you? You should have let me go." You said close to tears.

"You think I can just turn it off? That I can forget everything we had? I may not be good at this 'feelings' crap, but even I know when I’m not ready to let go" he scoffed, his lips curling into a bitter smirk.

"There was not a day I wasn't thinking about you" you almost whispered as you closed your eyes the truth weighing heavily on your chest

Kid froze not quite believing what he just heard. He swallowed hard running his hand through his hair. You had meant to keep your feelings buried, to shield you from the pain.

"Even after everything?" He asked his voice unusally calm.

"I did, even when I shouldn’t have. I thought about all the things we shared, the way it ended… everything"

Kid’s expression softened, the corners of his mouth tugging into a small smile. You felt heat rise to your cheeks.

"I thought about you too, every damn day. But it was easier to pretend I didn’t." He replied.

KId's vulnerability was raw and that's why you appreciated this so much. The fact that he let you see this side of him meant more than anything to you.

But it also made everything so much more complicated.

"What now?" You asked fumbling nervously with your fingers.

"You leave but the map remains with me" he said coldly, trying to convince himself that this was the best for both of you.

"Seriously! That's my map and my treasure. And i won't let you take it from me" you shouted a mix of anger and boldness in your voice.

He looked at you and laughed devilish.

"Keep on dreaming mouse, the map is mine and now you better leave" he said dangerously as he waved the map before you.

You tried to grab for it but he just lifted it over your head . You lunged forward trying to reach for it until he wrapped his metallic arm around your waist.

The heat of his body causing your cheeks to flush. A shiver running down your spine as his muscular body was pressed against yours.

This was wrong you shouldn't enjoy it yet you did.

You looked at him leaning closer your lips mere inches from his. Both of your hearts were racing. You wanted to kiss him so badly but then you snatched the map out of his hand, wirggled out of his grasp and made for the door.

"Better hurry big boy otherwise you might lose sight of me" you teased as your ran out of the door smiling.

He stood there for a moment dumbstruck before an evilly smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. The thrill of the chase stirred something primal in him, and he couldn’t help but enjoy it.

"You can run all you want, but you know I love a good chase" he shouted after you.

[ryuichirou]

EEEEEE I love Idia’s bday groovy so much!!! Happy birthday to him!! But on that note, who do you think would treat him and ‘treat’ him (wink wink) the best out of your ships for him? Any notable presents or experiences?

Now that it’s been like two weeks since Idia’s birthday, and Lilia’s birthday is almost here, it’s time for me to write this reply! Sorry for being late as always… And thank you for this question! Idia’s bday groovy is wonderful, even after staring at it for this entire time I am not over it. It’s so good…

Anyways! I think everyone treated him well, wink wink~ But in all honestly, this ended up being a much more wholesome reply that I expected it to be, even though I’m ending it on a spicier note lol

Azul’s go-to is to get Idia some game, but it’s not too unique of a present, is it? Not to mention, Idia buys all the games he wants for himself anyway, so it’s difficult to pick something new for him. So I think Azul is going to end up giving him a gift of “we can play whatever you want today”, which would result in Idia setting up all the games Azul refused to play anymore… he can’t say no now… he’ll break the fucking table because of his poor luck, and Idia will laugh….truly, an amazing gift. Azul doesn’t understand why Idia is so excited to see him seething and malding.

Floyd is going to bring him a bunch of clothes! Did he go out and buy it specifically for Idia or did he just find something that he bought and forgot about? Anyways, somehow all of it suits Idia so nicely: a hoodie, a bunch of oversized tshirts, knee-long shorts, a bag, a hat and of course a pair of sneakers… Idia feels weird wearing it, but Floyd wouldn’t leave until Idia tried all of it on. I guess it doesn’t look that bad… huh…

Jade is going to bring Idia some homemade treats, and he’ll say that this is a thank you for that time when Idia gifted him a chocolate bar for his birthday… you know, when Jade saw him near the wending machine and basically bullied him into giving him candy? Yes, that one. Jade remembers <3 This is why he kindly made delicious stuff for Idia in return! It didn’t even taste weird, but… it was kind of salty, Idia expected it to be sweet…

Lilia could actually gift him a sleepover party~ for the two of them, of course. He’ll bring a lot of snacks, energy drinks and a huge pile of homemade…whatever that was (Idia couldn’t even look at it, maybe it was supposed to be a birthday cake), and they’ll spend the entire time playing all kinds of games. But they won’t just play throughout the entire night, of course Lilia will start kissing the birthday boy at some point… Idia will be tired and sore the next day…

You know what Ortho is going to get him? You know you know? >:3 He is going to bring him to an escape room! With a bunch of friends! Since I’m biased, it’s going to be Azul + the Tweels! They’ll go through several quests, and Idia would have to team up with each and every single one of them at some point! Ortho planned EVERYTHING, he is actually the quest master, but that’s a big se-cret~.

But worry not, because after Idia survives this whole ordeal, Ortho will gift him a chance to stay in his room without interacting with anyone for a whole week. He deserved it.

… in all honesty, I think all of them should gift Idia a good ol’ orgy, and cosplay characters from different games for him while doing it. Make his brains melt, make him believe like he is in some kind of messed up dating simulator. Jade, bring the mushrooms, make this hallucination more believable..!!

[cheese-ducks]

TWRP ORIGINS

Chapter 13: New Perspectives

Previous chapter

Main Masterlist

August 7th, 2007

It's been forever since I've used this thing. I honestly thought I threw it out. Mom bought me this notebook assuming I'd use it for songs and feelings or shit like that. Instead I found my old angsty poetry and a bunch of dick drawings. Why did I expect nothing less? Anyway, Sung is probably the reason I’m writing this down. He seems like the type of nerd to journal. Speaking of Sung, I actually took his advice and started working on No Pants Dance again. It’s actually sounding pretty rad if I do say so myself. I’m still kind of embarrassed about showing it off, though. Mom came in earlier today while I was working on it, and I totally freaked out. Luckily, (I think??) she noticed the random traffic cone Sung had brought home from the Atomic Hawk. He said he needed to "study it further". I just hope the construction guys he took it from didn't notice. He better help me think of an explanation for why I have it. I think Mom is genuinely starting to worry about me, even more than usual.

Ship's log 08-87007

The findings from Mission Atomicawk were a total success. I don’t care if that is not the name of the food place, the human said it was close enough. From my observations humans have stricter social habits than I initially realized. Honoring Stone's request, I did as his brother would do. I stayed silent, and did not speak unless spoken to, or if it wouldn’t listen laughter from the group. It’s strange to me, how those were. The only times the human feels qualified to speak. It continued like that throughout the night. According to Stone that is a common occurrence on earth. Fascinating. I need to conduct additional research and what better subjects than my own bandmates? I will report my findings as ASAP as possible. The human taught me that.

August 11th, 2007

Sung and I are freaking the fuck out at the moment. I mean, changing emotionally is one thing, but we did something NUTS today. Even he was confused. At what he called "musical combat training", it was going pretty well. I was having fun playing, the guys thought I was funny, Stan even complimented me directly, instead of referring to the group and tacking me on at the end. Everything was fine until I went to tuck my hair behind my ear. It was more pointy than usual. I booked it to Andy’s bathroom and sure enough, they were Sung's ears, alright. I had no clue what to do, but luckily Sung reminded me about the disguise from the other night. Thank God I forgot to take it out of my backpack. I put them on and no one noticed until dad picked us up. The second I got in the van he asked about it. I told him I was trying something new, and he didn’t believe that for a second. I should feel more freaked out about this, but honestly, the fact that Sung is nervous about this, too, is kind of comforting.

Ship's log 08-81200727

Holy shit, I have a ton of findings to report! First, I inquired about my colleagues pasts which led to interesting results. Lord Phobos informed me he felt a similar way to the human. The key difference being that while his choices were made for him, the human chooses not to make a choice. Both circumstances seem to have left them with profound levels of anxiety and loneliness. Commander Meouch me was slightly harder to crack. He wouldn’t tell me anything directly, but I did overhear a conversation between him and Lord Phobos. Apparently, his rose exterior is a defense mechanism developed over his time with those brutish smugglers. To take his words, when the smugglers hit him around, he hit them right back, even harder. Havve's story was quite similar. Deemed unworthy of artificial life, he was tossed aside at the first imperfection. It was strange hearing these stories. My empathetic inclination acted in a way I’d never felt before. I was genuinely sad for them, independent of influence, coming from deep within my being. It was unexpected. Just like the accident at the human's musical combat training. I needed to know why. For the first time in my life I wondered what exactly I was. I didn’t find anything definitive, but I didn’t find a damn close match in a study on agent galactic beings. I found this description of a being made of star dust and soundwaves, that was traditionally solitary, and could perceive the emotional energies of lifeforms around them. The most damming piece of evidence came from the last sidings of these beings; 13 billion years ago. I read the rest of the study, completely engrossed, finding similarities between myself and the descriptions. Suddenly I found the explanation for the unique incident:

"I theorize that due to their impermanent, genetic makeup, if the species were to take a host for an extended period of time, eventually the two beings would fuse into one. Each retaining half their genetic makeup, but still remaining whole. They would live as a fully new, being, not remembering their separation." - Prof. Rakken Heliat.

I must tell the human at once. As much as I’d love to test the theory, I fear it may be permanent. I couldn’t do that to either of us. I have a mission, a noble purpose. He has a life, a loving family. I couldn’t selfishly take that from either of us. I’ll discuss it nonetheless.

August 19th, 2007

Holy shit, I think they’re onto me!! Mom and dad have noticed for sure!!! Last night while Sung(who has been weirdly quiet recently) and I were trying to sneak out, we heard them talking about me. They heard on the news that if your kid is super distant and weird they're probably on drugs. They don't genuinely believe that shit, RIGHT?? To be fair I am writing this in my room with my disguise on. I somehow woke up with Sung's eyes and ears so I’ve been in here all day. Sung won’t answer me. I KNOW YOU'RE THERE ASSHOL

.........................................................................................

"Hey, pal."

Jack jolted at the sudden sight of his dad, standing in the doorway with the dad look that Jack knew anywhere.

"Whatcha up to, bud?"

"J-just writing." He adjusted the sunglasses in case his dad could see the cosmic horror that lie beneath, but it only made him more suspicious.

"Ok, kid. Cut the bull. What's going on with you?"

"Uh, I..." His mind begged for Sung's help, but he still didn't answer. "Come on, man!" He muttered.

"Alright, take off the sunglasses"

"What? I can't!"

"Take em off or I'll take em, your choice, kid." Curt ordered.

"I really can't. You just have to trust me on this one, dad." The panic in his voice was barely hidden. Either he let his parents think he was on drugs or he let his parents think he'd gone insane. Both were terrible options to be fair.

"Please, dad. Trust me."

Curt paused for a moment before backing away from the door.

"Ally!"

"No! Please don't tell mom!"

Ally dashed up the stairs to see her husband and son pulling the bedroom door open and shut, specifically Jack nearly pulling the doorknob off.

"Jack! What is going on?" She scolded.

Jack paused to come up with a plan. He couldn’t lie to his Mom. He couldn’t lie to either of his parents. What was the alternative? Reveal his recent disfigurement and scared of the hell out of them. What would they say? How would they react? The fear he felt while telling Stone was tripled in this moment, he felt paralyzed.

Curt ripped the hat and sunglasses from Jack's head, expecting to find large pupils or red eyes. Both parents screamed upon seeing their son's face. Fortunately, Jack wasn't there to see it.

"The initial state of bewilderment will pass I assure you."

The parents stood in shock, unsure what to make of this situation. Sung sighed as he took a step forward, but the adults recoiled in response.

"Greetings. I did not anticipate we'd meet this way. I sincerely apologize for any terror and apprehension I have caused."

"What the hell have you done to my son?" Ally demanded.

"I was just getting to that. I-"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW, STANLEY?" Curt shouted into his cellphone.

[nowoyas]

Boiling Point 2: A Watched Pot - Miguel O'Hara/Reader (NSFW)

First - Next - M.list - Ao3

A/N: yeehaw I didn't forget

Summary: The game is on, and you begin your very important training.

Warnings: masturbation, strong language

Word count: ~3400 words

It is the evening you have decided to re-train your discipline, with or without a dominant partner, and you need to figure out what the fuck you're thinking.

I mean, sure, it's perfectly fine to tell yourself that you'll get your discipline back and posture in the general direction of the source of your recent car crash into hornytown, but you do need to ask yourself what any of that actually means. Yeah, you were disciplined before. If the guy you were with told you not to touch yourself, you didn't touch yourself. But you had no problems doing that because—and this part is key—you really didn't feel like it all that much.

So, really, the issue was never that you were disciplined and now you're not, it's that you never needed to be disciplined before and now you don't know what the fuck to do with yourself.

The obvious answer is this: set ground rules. Set some sort of challenge for yourself so that you know where to begin and what to do to train yourself so you stop wrecking your shit and doing stupid things, like overheating your entire vibrator collection and letting some totally original asswipe of a villain punch you through a wall just to feel something.

So you sit down with a pen and a notebook and you brainstorm until you come away with a list of restrictions and a purpose. You debate on keeping the list itself with you, as a reminder, and eventually decide that, no, you’ll write it up on your whiteboard. A nice little reminder. You need to be able to see what you’re doing, after all. Wouldn’t very well do if you forgot, would it?

When it’s written up, you step back and give it a glance-over, nodding to yourself in satisfaction.

Estimated delivery date for new toy: ??? end of next week? The site said 7-10 days from date of shipping, but it doesn’t ship immediately. We’ll go two weeks from today’s date to be safe.

- no orgasms until the new vibe arrives

- touching, playing, thinking, etc. allowed IF not to completion

- you do NOT need a dom to discipline you. literally just stop being so fucking horny.

- suffer.

For good measure, you add a line a few inches down and sign your name in big, flourishing swoops, as though that's sealing a contract with yourself. Stupid, there's no witnesses. This would never hold up in a court of law.

...actually, the exhibitionist in you kind of wants to know how that would work out.

Besides, from time to time you like to think that the spider that made you is carried with you. She's done enough for you, anyway. Probably definitely died by now. You don't think spiders live that long. Either way, she’s your witness.

So you cap your dry erase marker and close up your notebook and neatly slide it back into its place on your bookshelf. Luckily, you don't ever have people over, so it's not like anyone will be seeing your totally innocent contract. Maybe you should have worded it in such a way that you can spin a different web about it, just in case.

...nah. You'll leave it just like that. When you get your toy and emerge triumphant from two weeks of self-imposed orgasm denial knowing that you do NOT need any extra discipline, thank you very much Mister Miguel O'Hara, middle manager of worlds, you'll take it down and put some over-inspiring quote up in its place or something.

You scroll down the tab opened to a new toy shop you're trying out, seeing as your previous go-to sold you a nearly two hundred dollar vibrator that barely made it through one rough month with you (you should really follow up with them on a refund or a replacement or something, actually) and take your pick of their wares. Maybe this site will have vibrators that aren't made for weak vanilla bitches who only need to cum once to the thought of their boss before they're satisfied. Couldn't be you.

Hey, maybe you'll call in sick to work and have a marathon once you've kicked this challenge's ass!

...nah. Better not. Miguel would catch word that you're off work and somehow find an anomaly to sic you on. Not to mention, you’d probably fucking break the new one again at that rate.

Once you've placed your order, you update the contract with estimated delivery dates, and settle in for a nice night in.

Let the games begin.

~

It is day one of your new lease on your sex life, and this shit's easy.

Who ever thought this would be difficult? Just don't masturbate. Do something else instead. Scroll social media or something. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am, you're so fucking disciplined it's unreal. Who needs to prove anything to anyone? You certainly don't.

This morning, you took out the trash and said farewell to the final remnants of your last toy lost to Miguel O'Hara's unfair physiology. You went to work, did your job perfectly fine, and went out to patrol the streets. When you returned, you returned to find that the garbage pickers had come and taken the bags away. Good riddance.

(You didn't hear this from me, but you only checked your email twice today for a shipping confirmation from the shop. You're so fucking good at this.)

~

It is day two of enacting a contract with yourself to be more disciplined and less horny, and your toy still has not shipped.

I mean, it's not really a big deal. You've got shit to do and all. It's now the weekend, but crime doesn't actually stop regardless of when you clock in and out of work, a fact which you're honestly very happy with. I mean, imagine if you never got to close down shop for an hour while someone beat the shit out of some comic book wannabe in the streets outside your office? Unsustainable, to say the least. And sometimes, you get to go beat someone up directly after a really obnoxious phone call, and honestly? That may be the only reason you haven't been fired yet.

So, you spend the morning chilling out, get lunch, and just as you've finished getting ready to head out for a neat little patrol, someone drawn in a suspiciously out-of-place art style launches past your window.

Perfectly punctual! This is great! You slide out your fire escape and give chase, launching yourself anomaly-ways with a hoot. It's only after you're already face-to-face with the guy that you think to let someone know what's up, but then you're being launched backwards so you don't really have the chance. Dammit.

Anyways, you've got this, so you really just need Miguel to take him back once you've kicked his ass, and—

Oh, speak of the devil. There he is launching through a portal directly at the guy, and there's you following up to join him.

It's practically a dance by now—you swing to catch up, use a web to pull this abstract motherfucker up and prevent him from causing issues with traffic. It takes precious little time to deal with him, and once he's sent back, you resign yourself to being dragged back to HQ to report in and probably hear something about how you should have called HQ to let them know about the anomaly.

"Did you plan on calling in the anomaly, or were you just going to try to handle everything yourself?" Miguel asks you the second the problem is dealt with.

Fucking called it.

"I literally had my hand on my wristband when you showed up."

"I didn't see it." He shrugs.

You can't help but roll your eyes. Part of you wants to be a brat. You gently remind yourself that being a brat only works if you're actually with a brat tamer, and you have no confirmation that Miguel would. You know, as if you had a chance with him anyway. He's married to his screens. (It’s a really good setup, so you don’t blame him.) "I did, though. He just kind of showed up outside my apartment, so I followed. Best to reduce collateral first, right?"

He sighs. He does that around you a lot. "Right."

See, this shit's easy. He's right in front of you, and you're telling him about the two minutes you had with the villain before he showed up, and your mind is on the topic at hand. You are present, and you are disciplined. You took no stupid hits during that fight. You're fucking fantastic.

...he's really pretty, though. Effortlessly, even. You think it’s the way he carries himself.

"So, hey, I already ate, but do you want me to bring you something to eat? I know that was like, more sunlight than you've gotten in the past month."

He raises an eyebrow at you. He does that around you a lot. "I do eat on occasion, you know."

"I do know! That's why I'm offering to bring you something. You're busy a lot and should probably eat more than you do."

"I'm fine," he says finally.

You quirk a little smile and turn to leave. "Fine, fine. I'll surprise you, then. See you in a few! Thanks for the assist!"

Okay, so maybe bringing him food is, among other things, an excuse to leave the room right now immediately and also a reason to come back, once you've wound down from the adrenaline of the fight.

But, consider this: shut up.

You return with a box of food for him, quietly leave it on his desk just out of his immediate line of sight, and sneak out of the room before he can tell you no.

When you're home, you decide that you owe it to yourself to chill out a little more. You did good! You got the guy! You did a nice thing for the very attractive person at HQ! Your mind only wandered a little! You didn't even let your voice kink take over your brain when he spoke to you!

So, you scroll mindlessly. A nice, restorative pastime that only has positive effects on your mental health.

And goddammit, your mutual put porn on your dash again.

You sigh, you stare at it too long, and you try to keep your mind off it. You really, really do.

~

It is day four of the contract, and your new vibrator has finally shipped.

Great, too, because it was definitely not starting to get difficult. You usually hang around HQ on Sundays, if nothing's going on in your own dimension. You like being helpful, so you keep yourself on standby.

Standby is a nice thing to be on. You get to hang out with other Spiders, learn from the others at HQ. Sometimes they've got cool tricks to show you, or you run into less experienced Spiders and get to teach them something fucked up they can do with their webs. Rarely, Miguel actually leaves his little Spider-cave for food or to track someone down. More rarely, you actually catch glimpses of him when he does, which is how you find yourself chilling out with one of your favored Peters and pretending like you're not looking at his ass.

What? It's a nice ass.

...you wonder what he'd do if you just grabbed his ass one day. You're kind of tempted to try.

(Probably have to punish you. Probably growl a little bit. Probably bend you over and—)

Anyway, this shit's easy. Looking at a hot guy's ass does not break your rules, so you let yourself peek when he walks by and play it off when you get called out on it by a teasing Peter. I mean, it doesn't exactly work, but at least playing it off looks better than openly staring at your collective boss's ass and not even pretending you weren't.

Keep telling yourself that, anyway.

~

It is day five of your quest to be more horny and less disciplined, and—wait, that's not right.

It is day five of your quest to be more disciplined and less horny, and your dreaming brain has fucking betrayed you.

You dreamed that you actually grabbed his ass. You dreamed that he turned on you.

You dreamed of Miguel taking you back to his cave with him, and demanding answers for your behavior, and you dreamed of pushing him over the edge until he yanked you over with a well-placed web and spanked you back into your place. You’re not usually that into spanking, but that did not stop you from waking up with a damp heat between your legs and the urge to do something about it. You indulged yourself, in the time it took you to wake up, and then, by the time you were really conscious, you had to rip your hand out of your sleep shorts, lest you prove Miguel right. And you’ll be fucked if you ever prove Miguel right.

…wait.

Okay, so look. You stopped. You didn’t cum. You’re doing a good job. You wash your hands, get ready for work, carefully adjust your suit underneath your work clothes, and get through the day.

~

It is day seven of this bullshit, and you are starting to get tired of this story format.

More than that, you’re tired of this story. You tried to distract yourself with reading, only all your books are about vampires, so that only got you thinking even more because the POV character got bit by a vampire and it was so well-described and so horny and you’re very horny and moderately-described now.

You get called in, because of course you do, and you see his stupid face, because of course you do, and you’re desperately torn between pissing him off to get him to flash his fangs your way and being relieved that he’s not angry enough to speak clearly.

You are decidedly not relieved. The knowledge that they are there is enough, and you have every intent to hump your pillow when you get home like some fucking teenager, knowing damn well that it’s never enough for you.

Sleep-deprived, and you move to leave, but no, it never works that way, does it?

“[name]. A moment.”

Fuck.

You dally a bit with a sigh. “You’ve got to have better things to do with your time than badger me for details I already gave you.”

“You’re going to be off for the next few days.”

That’s worse, actually. Your hackles raise on instinct, and you turn to glare at him. “What? No! I’ve been doing a good job, haven’t I?”

You hate the stern way he looks at you. He’s an enigma, one you’re still trying to learn when you’re not too busy being infatuated with him on every other front. It’s difficult to tell what’s stern and what’s just his beautiful resting bitch face, but you’re leaning more towards stern. “You’re doing too good. It’s concerning.”

You are floored. You are aghast. You are fucking flabbergasted.

“You told me to be more disciplined?”

“Is this discipline?”

He’s hard to piss off. Not for anyone else—he has firm opinions and knows what’s best, and you never really want to piss him off for any reason beyond seeing him go a little feral at you, so you take extra care to actually just listen to him, aside from the small quips and quibbles of the day-to-day. Right now, though, you want to piss him off. You are vibrating with horny energy and affronted energy and genuinely just Energy, so with your fists clenched, you turn up your nose at him. "I don't know, you tell me." Okay, that's good. It's mildly flirty. You are winning at Being a Brat.

"I'm sure you do know. Discipline is not what I would call throwing a fit at being ordered to take care of yourself. It's definitely not stomping your feet at being told no."

"I am taking care of myself! I am balancing work, sleep, eating regularly, bouncing around the multiverse and my own dimension, and I'm not even complaining about anything!"

"You are actively complaining. To me. Right now."

"Because I don't understand why you're punishing me for doing a good job!"

"Trust me, you don't want to know what an actual punishment would look like from me."

Oh.

You quite do, actually.

You are grateful for the dim lighting Miguel keeps, grateful that he's not likely to notice the sudden flush to your cheeks. If he does, he's more likely to take it as anger, anyhow.

"Go home. Get some rest. It's obvious you haven't been sleeping enough."

"T-that is really rich, coming from you!"

"And just what is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean that the only proof I have that you ever eat or leave this room is sometimes I bring you food and it gets eaten. You take care of yourself, and I'll gladly take care of myself."

"Are you trying to strike up a deal with me?"

"Is it working?"

"No."

You hum, feeling the thrill of gaining ground. He's turned away from you, proving that you're right.

"Look, Miguel, we'll both get dinner and get some sleep, and tomorrow morning, the multiverse will still be here, intact, because you are not the only person who can handle yourself and I am not the only person who can handle mine, and—"

"If you would please shut up, I will go eat food."

"Good."

He scoffs. "Already blowing it."

Infuriated, you open your mouth in retort, then slam it shut. You turn, and you leave, and try not to let his voice echo around inside your empty head like a Windows screensaver.

~

Miguel's voice echoes around inside your empty head like a Windows screensaver, because Miguel’s voice does not care what you are or are not trying to do for your sanity. Every time it hits a corner, you switch between scrolling your phone in frustration, fingering yourself in frustration, and refreshing your package tracker in frustration. Nothing moves or changes, and you are still thinking about his threats to punish you, still thinking about whether he's actually getting good rest, still considering the idea that maybe as part of his you-mandated self care routine tonight, he has gotten food, gone to wherever his bedroom is (likely somewhere hidden in the depths of HQ), and also resorted to lazy masturbation.

You know better to do more than dream, though, so you are stuck with the knowledge that he is not, that, knowing him, he probably waited for you to leave HQ and immediately turned back around to go back to his comfortable dark room, his comfortable monitors, and his comfortable total lack of self-care.

Still, a Spider can dream, and right now, you are dreaming of his cock.

You are rubbing small, slow circles into your clit, two-fingered, and you imagine what he must look like. Healthy fantasies dictate that he's probably only a little above average, so that's what you try to imagine when you think of what he must look like fisting his cock. Your mind conjures the sound of him groaning quietly into a too-large room, the sight of his face, flush with desire that only darkens his handsome features.

It is only a daydream in spite of the late hour, and your imagination can only wander so far, but you allow yourself to think of his fangs flashing as he sighs into the motion, allow yourself to speed up a bit as you imagine him doing the same. He'd be thick, he'd work himself up to an inadvisable pace that you can barely match. He rarely cares for himself, and you imagine that'd translate well—not to desperation, but to desire that bleeds into demand.

It is, after all, quite difficult to tell when a request is an order when it comes to him.

Your body sings as you get close, and then you open your eyes just a little bit, and you see it. The fucking whiteboard.

Mournful, you yank your hand away and slam your face into your pillow.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory @roxannarichie @vegas-writing-den @cooch1ecruncher @bluepeanutharmony @yohoe-hoe

If you’d like to be added to the taglist, shoot me an ask or let me know in the notes what you’d like to be tagged in! (All content, all nsfw content, all content for a specific character, all content for a specific fandom, etc.)

[kimwexlers-brownhair]

Omg its literally been ages since I checked in with you. My favorite Meg x Erik shipper. Some questions for you from a fellow Merik fan.

Do you think we've evolved over the years as shippers? In the sense that maybe our perception of the ship evolved or has it stayed the same.

If Hollywood did a modern remake of the phantom of the Opera musical (like they did with Wicked). Who would be your fancast and would you want some more Merik undertones in the new movie or is it good just as it is?

Do you think Erik and Meg would have a chance if they lived in the modern world? What would that look like?

Ahh hi buddy! Thank you so much for dropping by! The following got super duper long and probably a little off topic, oops!

So first thing, I'm going to answer your second question first:

HOLLYWOOD REMAKE! I'm going to do different eras, because I can:

1920s/1930s -

Meg: Jean Harlow

Erik: Bela Lugosi (RIP Lon)

Christine: Mary Astor

Raoul: Leslie Howard

Madame Giry: Judith Anderson

90s (Aka, closer to the Phantom's original run)

Meg: Brittany Murphy

Erik: Michael Crawford

Christine: Jean Louisa Kelly

Raoul: Ewan McGregor

Madame Giry: Donna Murphy (ooh, same last name as Brittany! Perfect!)

Today:

Meg: Fernanda Muniz

Erik: Lucas Steele

Christine: Denee Benton

Raoul: Leslie Odom Jr

Madame Giry: Tais Viera

I know they're too old now and not famous enough for a Hollywood movie, but down with Hollywood's obsession with extreme youth and established movie stars in every musical role!

Hm, I don't think I would put any Erik/Meg slant per se into the movie, but maybe just put extra emphasis on her picking up his mask at the end, and maybe when she's screaming "He's Here!" We could see her looking into the rafters and staring straight at him. Just little hints there may be something kind of sexy in the fear. (Meg's fucked up like that, poor kid, more on that below.)

As for your evolution question - this gets long.

Very interesting question. I can't speak for the Merik fandom as a whole, but I can definitely answer for me. Yes, I think I've evolved in my perception of Merik. It's easy to spot if you go from my first Merik fic Yellow Rose to my current (somewhat of a trainwreck) fic The First Movie Star.

I've become more compelled by the potential darker shades of the pairing without going down the exact route of Love Never Dies. I'm enamored with the idea of an incredibly resistant Erik, someone who's made his obsession with Christine his identity, so when he feels Meg threaten that by revealing her feelings, he turns against her for a long time before even considering the possibility he might feel something for someone not Christine.

There would also be a fair amount of self-loathing for him to contend with about the very idea of anyone actually developing feelings for him. Even Christine he tried to keep from knowing the true Erik; first there was the guise of the Angel but even when he revealed that falsehood he still hid his face. In the musical specifically, he goes out of his way to wow her into believing him some dangerous but sexy godlike figure, a lustful Hades with her as Persephone. Erik has always been more comfortable in fantasy than in reality, which is very understandable given his past.

Here's how I put it in Ch 6 of TFM:

Many years would pass until a great twentieth century philosopher refused to belong in any club that would have him as a member. Yet that same sentiment of intense self-loathing projecting out on others beat now in Erik’s heart. Although all his life he’d yearned for love, to the point of kidnapping and terrorizing the woman who rejected him, there was something in him that was repulsed by the idea now. He was appalled, disbelieving. He deliberately dismissed Meg the helper, Meg the business associate, Meg the friend. He forgot how vital she was in researching the different beaches at Coney Island when they first arrived, scouting out the perfect location for the Phantasma. He forgot her gathering for him the requested blueprints and designs of nearby theaters, so that he could build the exact opposite. He discarded those memories and in his horror at her confession, constructed a new Meg Giry. Well, several new Meg Girys, that is, as he formulated different theories as to why she would have said what she did.

So whereas once I was definitely more on the fluff side of the Merik fence, I've found myself in a darker but frankly more intriguing place with them. Trope wise, I'm at a weird combo of (Relative) Strangers to Friends, then once Meg confesses her feelings, Friends to Enemies to Eventual Lovers.

Now pair this conflict with a Meg I headcanon fiercely as becoming a 19th century It Girl, the equivalent of Clara Bow or Jean Harlow, and you have a big LND reversal and the potential for Erik to convince himself he hates Meg because she's stolen Christine's rightful place as world famous star. He has to contend with the fact Christine's career goes the same path as Evelyn Nesbit after the strange scandal of the Phantom of the Opera, and it is because of him his protegee, his Galatea, has to flee the spotlight.

(So do I still have a tendency to Mary Sue Meg a little bit? I mean, Clara Bow and Jean Harlow...calm down, me...still, I like to take this opportunity to explore the downsides of that kind of fame, and how it tests Meg's ultimate good character.)

With all this, it might be hard to see how Merik could be endgame, but here's where the unrealistic romantic in me comes out. Detesting Meg from afar is problematic, sure, but Erik is still healing from a lifetime of trauma. He's projected so much onto Christine that any perceived attack on her is a personal attack to him. He never thought he'd fall in love; he never thought he'd be kissed or wept over. Then came Christine. A lifetime of fear and hatred, and then this angel shows him kindness.

It's understandable with the fragile state he's in emotionally, he wouldn't be able to handle another pretty girl showing him the same kindness, and this time out of actual romantic feelings for him. That tarnishes it, in his mind. That's not how his life's opera should end. It should end with the kiss; end in a bittersweet tragedy of lost chances.

And now here's this other girl, who may be pretty and charming in her way, but she is a very human girl. Where Christine was ethereally beautiful, this one is merely very cute. While Christine sang with the voice of an angel, this one squeaks like a mouse. Where Christine was dignified and angelic, this one traipsed around in nothing more than a leotard and occasional tutu, and didn't mind revealing more onstage. She's not the one to make his song take light. So why is she setting the world on fire? Why does the public obsess over someone so...commonplace?

Here's where I crucially differ with Meg going down the LND hole. Meg may adore Erik with all her heart, but she's not going to let his contempt ruin her life. She has plans, ambition, and talent, even though she struggles to find herself with Madame Giry controlling her career (I still worship Madame G, but I've taken to exploring her potential darker shades as a character, as well).

Meg might just well end up in some form of sex work (I explore photography in TFM, but I can also see her as an escort). But Madame Giry, I headcanon, has lived her life trying to shield Meg from that, as she's internalized a lot of anti-sex work bias from her days working in a carnival, having to dodge that reputation to become ballet mistress. And so I actually see that as a potential conflict between mother and daughter, where Madame Giry is firmly opposed to sex work and Meg being like wtf is the big deal, I don't care about going topless, I don't like wearing clothes anyway (Jean Harlow is really influencing my conception of Meg these days).

(I also headcanon Meg as developing Imposter Syndrome when she comes to terms with being a nepo baby at the opera house).

So I don't see her where she is mentally at the end of LND, with that being a version of Meg that Erik merely builds up in his head. Especially as her fame grows and he starts to miss her being a ballet rat frightened of him, he casts her as someone degraded and pathetic at best, and homicidal at worst.

Yet as Erik continues to sort out his personal issues, would he be able to overcome that image, and trust that Meg's love for him is a good thing, a very good thing indeed? That's the dynamic I'm interested in, even if it's far more intense and unhealthy than what I explored in Yellow Rose.

Wow, okay. That went on.

Question three: I absolutely think they would have a much better chance in modern times! The world is far from a perfect place, but we do have better language now and knowledge, and maybe Erik could have had a better life or at least access to mental healthcare. That would definitely make him at a better place mentally for a potential romance, and I think he'd be more accepting of affection if he saw that there were indeed girls out there into him, he'd just never heard of Monster Fuckers in the 19th century.

Meg? She's a monster fucker.

She's like poor Tina Belcher sexually. Her fear of Erik bled into her sexual awakening and so like Tina with zombies, she has the hots for and fear of the Opera Ghost.

[gwyns]

E/riel’s acting like lust equals love is so funny to me. You can have a crush on someone or be sexually attracted to a person without it being deep. And that spark, that glow, Azriel felt in his chest where he tucked it down (he literally kept it next to his heart) at the thought of Gwyn’s smile has more importance than Azriel wanting to eat Elain’s cunt, fuck her, and kiss her. I’m not going to blame Elain for this. It’s not her fault.

I never picked up on anything romantic between them. In Frost & Starlight all I got was that maybe (a very very small maybe) that Elain has a tiny crush on Az, but nothing deep. I was taken aback in Silver Flames at the sudden tone change in his bonus chapter. There’s nothing wrong with the sexualness, but the fact the at E/riel’s claim Azriel likes/is in love with Elain, but we didn’t get any romantic feelings from him is a problem. He literally spent a year planning for a damn snowball fight, but couldn’t think beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to. If he defined his feelings to Rhys, or said he wasn’t in love with Mor anymore, or gave a small hint of romance and not just lust/jealousy, then I would feel different.

Also, there were people who did actually ship E/riel, but after reading that chapter, they hopped off that ship because it gave them the ick. I think it’s very telling if a lot of people in the fandom got uncomfortable/the ick from that bonus chapter, especially from those who use to ship them. There wasn’t even anything kinky about the chapter either, but E/riel’s blame that we can’t handle the “kinkiness.” like no, we can’t handle how potent the jealousy coming from Azriel was. All he thought about was sex and how much he wanted a mate of his own. It wouldn’t have been that hard to add a sentence or even a few words that showed he had romantic feelings for her, but nope. And that’s because it was a mistake.

that's the thing like... even if elain and azriel loved each other (they don't) that ultimately doesn't mean anything. feyre loved tamlin. aelin loved chaol. they ended up not being right for each other and that was it lol. sex means next to nothing in sjm novels, what matters is if they truly see their love interest, and if they push and encourage them. if they want books where sex is the endgame indicator, there are plenty out there! but you're not getting it here

that too, how are they just ok with az thinking of another woman that fondly? that beautifully? oh riiiiight because gwyn is secretly evil and made az feel an emotion for once in his life. i forgot

oh no elain is not at fault at all in my opinion, girlie just wanted a night to let off some steam and instead she got made to feel even worse. like have you ever felt that hot, rush of arousal, you're attracted to this person and they're attracted to you and god you want it so badly but then they had to say something so wrong that it made you feel less than and hurt your feelings and that instantly made all of your previous emotions evaporate like someone threw a bucket of cold water all over you? yeah. i've been there elain and it sucks lol. sorry but as a woman you don't easily get over a guy saying "this was a mistake" in reference to anything. that's a huge romance killer. there's no coming back from that in my opinion

acofas is a bit weird for me, i don't really see their interactions as romantic, it's like there's something... off about them. they're kinda cute at best but it wasn't love, elain has canonically only recently stopped crying over graysen and az was still looking at mor with hunger or whatever in acofas. how is that love on either end? it's kinda sad that e/riels have such a distorted image of it

i love e/riels' arguments against his planning. apparently, in their eyes, he didn't even stop for a second or two to consider a future with the woman he's soooo in love with because he knew he wouldn't be able to have her and it caused him so much pain so he just doesn't think about her at all. poor baby 😩

as someone who has feelings of love, you think about them constantly. even if you feel like you're not worthy of them or that it won't work out. your mind is your safe space to think about the things you truly want, no matter how unrealistic. so the fact that azriel could take a whole year to plan a snowball fight but couldn't spare 5 minutes for elain is... not the romantic declaration they make it seem, i promise you lol

the "you just can't handle kinks!!!" argument is so funny because... do you know what kinks are? they're certainly not the self loathing, jealousy and entitlement az displayed! i've seen multiple e/riels say they couldn't ship it anymore because of how wrong that chapter felt. i even followed a multi shipper and they just straight up said they were over e/riel after that chapter dropped, like it's so evident what sjm was doing, but of course they have their bread and roses blinders on

i saw one reply to bloomsbury uk's acotar tweet earlier today with something like "can't wait for news on e/riel's book!!!!" and i just sat there thinking, "damn. you're going to be waiting a loooonnnggg time"

[whovianwatchingstartrek]

A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 101 - Rescue Sarek!

Star Trek: Discovery - Season 1 Episode 6 - Lethe

We open with Sarek and the Vulcans testing their own mission, but his mission is sabotaged, by a supposedly isolationist radical group of Vulcans that wish to withdraw from the federation. Last time a Rogue Vulcan faction showed up, they ended up being the good guys, but this group definitely aren't the pacifists that the Syrranites were, I'm curious to find out exactly what their deal is.

We then see Sylvia and Michael doing laps through Discovery's headquarters. I would have imagined these more advanced ships would have had a proper gym like the NX-01 Enterprise had, but apparently not. It definitely seems that Michael is pushing her too far out of her comfort zone,

Lorca and his buddy he picked up from the Prison, Ash Tyler, are also running some combat drills on a Holodeck. I know from cultural Osmosis that Holodecks are big part Star Trek, but this is the first time I've seen one since the MPreg Episode all the way back in Season 1 of Enterprise, so it's nice to see it here, even if it's only briefly. Apparently, he has been instantly promoted to Chief of Security, a role that I forgot recently became vacant.

In the Mess, Michael and Sylvia encounter Ash, and sit down to get to know our new Security Chief. There is some initial friction between Michael and Ash, but introductions are cut short when Michael receives a message through Sarek's Katra. Sarek gives her a flashback to before she was transferred to Star Fleet. Apparently Michael was removed from the Vulcan fleet for being too emotional, among other reasons, and I love that we're finally digging into how fucked up it is to raise someone in the Vulcan way, and seeing the younger Michael be gaslit into thinking she's the problem is heartbreaking. Sarek notices Michael's presence in the dream however, and kicks her out, back into the real world.

Michael wakes up in Sickbay. Apparently the same rogue faction of Vulcans were also responsible for the attack on the Learning Center when Michael was a child. Discovery goes on route to rescue Sarek.

Unfortunately once Discovery arrives at the relevant nebula, there is trouble. Firstly, we have no idea where in the Nebula Sarek is, and secondly, Discovery cant enter the Nebula without the gasses causing the Spore Drive the explode. Michael comes up with a plan to use the Katra to find him, and gets a shuttle team together, meanwhile Starfleet Command starts to chew out Lorca for going on this mission against orders.

Michael puts her plan into motion, and we get a really cool fist fight between Sarek and Michael in Sarek's mind. And at the same time we get a really interesting conversation between Lorca and one of the Starfleet Amirals who he's had kind of a thing with throughout, that really starts to dive into Lorca's psychology. His previous ship was mentioned last episode, but here we find out that after making that sacrifice, he changed a lot as a person. Wild traumatic events will do that to you, and I kind of want to find out how his command style differed before. Was he just as the Ends Justify the Means as he is now, or did he change in different ways? We also see him have an absolutely terrifying Trauma response when she touches one of his Scars. I want to know more about his character development, I can't wait for the show to explore whatever happened on that ship to shake him so much!

Delving deeper into Sareks backstory in the flashback scene it's mentioned that Sarek is actually Spock's dad, which wasn't something I expected to hear. Either way, it's revealed that Michael was rejected from the Vulcan fleet because Sarek was asked to choose between Michael and Spock, but in the end neither ended up in the Vulcan fleet. But, Michael manages to break through Sarek's shame and locates shocks him awake to signal out his location, and the the rescue mission is a success. Sarek's own mission is left more open ended, however. The Admiral that was visiting Lorca goes to complete it, but the whole thing was an ambush, and the admiral is taken prisoner by the Klingons, as our cliffhanger. Lorca gives the command to wait for Starfleet's orders, which either means this is him taking her advice to heart, or a petty display of "I'm right your wrong", and I love that I can't tell which it is.

This was a good episode, I am absolutely fascinated by the Characterisation of Captain Lorca, and the details on Michael's backstory and her relationship to Sarek are really interesting too.

[evolvingchaoswitch]

Comprehensive Guide to your Traumatized Partner

Summary:

Reader and Rocket have agreed that their both shit at taking care of themselves and have decided to take care of one another. Follow them on the difficult journey of putting those words into action and figuring out what it really means to care for one another. And whatever intergalactic bullshit that the universe throws at them to make things harder than it needs to be.

Notes:

This is the same Reader from my previous Rocket x Reader fanfics, so if you need context I'd suggest giving those a read. To my Readers that have been following this chain of stories I hope you enjoy the ride, sidenote this is my first time writing since I've been medicated for my ADHD for the first time in my life, and I would love to hear in the comments if you notice a difference in quality levels. I was able to write this in two days rather than it taking a whole week to get half this chapter done and I'm really happy. Enjoy :D Just realized I forgot to put my fics up on Tumblr for my non Ao3 friends

Chapter 1: Jealously

Chapter Text

It had been a few days since your injury and for the most part your fellow Guardians were pretty chill over the fact that you weren’t ready to explain why you had wanted to leave. Today you finally bit the bullet and explained what had been going on in your head before that point with mixed reactions; you didn’t tell them about the hardcore fucking with Rocket or the deal the two of you had made. As per usual it was uncomfortable to try to be vulnerable in any way given your past history, you fought yourself against the urge to pinch or scratch yourself as a way of introducing pain to help you self regulate. You didn’t notice that Rocket was taking stock of your body language as if he was trying to build an internal database of some of your more subtle distress signals to look out for later.

You gave the cliff notes version of your personal history opting out of the gritter sections of your childhood, with Peter having such a close relationship to his Mother you couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t encourage you to reconnect with yours; though you didn’t use that word for her. You could tell that Mantis knew a bit more about what was going on about your general energy in the moment but seemed to understand the look you gave a moment ago. The clear look that any further interference with your emotional state would be taken as some major boundary stomping and to say you’d react poorly was a gross understatement. Drax placed a firm hand on your shoulder to give a comforting squeeze, it was usually the people that were good parents that picked up on some of your tone and language surrounding your biological ties.

Rocket stayed off to the side observing you before speaking “Ar’ight leave them alone that’s enough chit chat bout their personal stuff”

Could Rocket tell you were getting overwhelmed with the conversation or was he just sick of the conversation? Rocket wasn’t the best person at fully processing through his own trauma, maybe he thought it was better to shove the incident into the back of everyone’s minds rather than go through the uncomfortable emotions. You needed to have them understand one clear boundary before this conversation ended. You took a deep breath before letting your mask slide down a bit to deliver the most honest version of yourself for this sentence.

“I’m going to be writing in my journal again, and if any one on this ship even Groot reads through my personal thoughts and feelings without my consent there will be issues”

The calm coldness of your voice made a few of your shipmates very unused to that tone step back slightly.

“Issues?” Peter echoed the phrase back to you voice tinged with a nervousness that wasn’t there before.

You continued in the same frigid saccharine tone that you had used before “I’m a nice person till I’m not and when I’m not”

You stepped forward delighting in the fact that he instinctively stepped back trying to edge away from the energy you were putting off. He was frightened. Good. Afterall he was one of the ones that started the trend of thieving the journal from you before you had abandoned it.

“And when I’m not I tend to get spiteful” The slow foxlike smirk slowly painted itself over your lips.

“What happens when you get spiteful?” You could see the lesson was sinking into Peter's head rapidly but you needed to make sure they all had a good idea of what you actually were capable of.

“I get creative” You let the dangerous connotations of the phrase hang in the air before continuing.

“Couple that with the fact I have a particular skill at gathering personal information about the people around me due to being one of those quiet observers types I tend to get a lot of material to work with and you all know my thoughts about wasted resources”

You might not be top tier with your ability to outshine any of them physically but psychological warfare was your bread and butter. Being raised in such a toxic homelife had sharpened your senses and your ability to hurt people by exploiting their subtle vulnerabilities, you didn’t like to use the skill but no matter how much time passes between your use of it you could still wield it as masterfully as a maestro at their instrument.

“You do understand what I mean don’t you all” You slowly turned in place so that you made eye contact with each and every one of them with the same bite that you were giving Peter so they fully understood; even Rocket. You didn’t even speak that loudly but you knew that every one of them heard what you said and it was written all over their faces.

You tilted your head to the side, scrunching your face up in the same cute passive aggressive smile that you had perfected over the years “Fantastic” before letting the energy return to your usual chill state.

You decided to head back to your room to let the message fully sink in and to let the racing of your heart settle down. It wasn’t easy to let your mask down to show the uglier sides of your personality but it needed to be done. You needed something soft to cuddle and for a moment you thought about how snuggling with Rocket would be amazing. Either curling him into your body as he took the position of the little spoon, letting your energies soak into one another and drawing comfort from each other's presence. Maybe he’d try to be the big spoon letting you feel as small as you felt inside but from a point of safety for once, perhaps he’d even stroke behind your ear in the way that you loved; though that seemed impossible he didn’t even know about that spot.

Both scenarios felt unlikely after all it was clear to anyone that had eyes that Rocket’s experience in being touch starved led him to being touch adverse outside of sexual touches which wasn’t the headspace you needed to be in. You both needed to sit down to talk about what taking care of one another meant in practice, what the boundaries that needed to be respected and a bunch of other phrases that you had learned during your time in therapy but that could wait till after your nap. Reaching into a bag that you had hidden under the bed ages ago you pulled out Judy, your rainbow fox squishmellow to cuddle as you slept. You kept her out of sight to avoid her being messed with like your former journal was, and you really didn’t need to hear anyone raz on you for your comfort item. As your eyes drifted shut you made a note to journal when you woke up next to get a better idea of what to do with Rocket next.

Rocket had watched on the sidelines as you gave the gist around why you had wanted to leave earlier this week. He glared at each one of his crew mates as you spoke to ensure they kept their traps shut till you were done talking, judging by the way your hands were fidgeting Rocket figured this was hard for you. He was fucking awful at reaching out for help, being honest with his feelings and all that other mushy stuff for himself so he got how hard it was. Honestly he admired your bravery but he could also see how the conversation took its toll on you before you shifted topics.

Then the energy in the room altered as your voice had suddenly shifted to a tone he had never heard from you before which was both unnerving and sexy as flark. Somehow his Kit had managed to terrify every single one in that room for a moment and they didn’t even raise their voice. Every syllable that left your lips had this perplexing blend of syrupy sweetness and bitter cold that had managed to raise his hackles up; as well as his cock which twitched with excitement. Rocket knew that there was some type of edge to your personality that he was attracted to, and he was enjoying witnessing it. It was good for you to start acting like who you really were rather than faking it. He had been more than ready to start ribbing on Quill when your eyes turned on him as they did everyone else in the room individually and he swallowed whatever comment he was going to say.

Your eyes were practically slitted alight with a predatory glint that Rocket had only seen twice before and both had been while he was buried deep within those warm tight walls of yours. He was somewhat glad that you had left the room quickly before he ended up stripping you of your pants and pounding you rotten in front of everyone. You two were still figuring shit out and you didn’t need those morons making it any harder for the both of you. Rocket wasn’t quite sure where to start in that talking thing you both planned to do about your new situation but he did have an idea of how to keep everyone's mitts of your journal; even his.

Rifling through his tools he got to work on putting a lock on your journal that only your biometrics could open, and would record the last person who handled the book if it wasn’t you. You had explained to him earlier that keeping all your thoughts swirling in your head made you feel anxious and put you in a bad way. He was hoping this would help and show you that he was sorry for messing with your journal without having to say it out loud; he still wasn’t great with giving apologies.

Rocket got up off of his work station after he had finished the lock to go track down where you had made your way off to. Rocket wasn’t a fan of how much you holed yourself up in your room but he couldn’t say anything. Something told him that being hypocritical would do him no favors, and he was really hoping to get back into bed with you again. A delightful shiver trickled down his spine as memories of the last encounter flooded his cerebellum, his mouth watered remembering how good you tasted quivering under his tongue.

Rocket entered your room after knocking only to be greeted with the sight of you sleeping back to the door. He watched as you rolled over in your sleep clutching some fat rainbow animal thing that you were squeezing tightly to yourself, burying your face in what looked like soft material. Intellectually Rocket understood that this had to be one of those Terran comfort items that both you and Quill had tried to explain to him when you first joined the crew. What Rocket couldn’t understand was why he felt so annoyed at the mere existence of the thing. Made no flarkin sense since there was no contest between him and it as to who was better after all he was real.

Rocket heard you made out a little whimper in your sleep, most likely from a nightmare judging by the microexpressions that spread across your face signaling your distress. Rocket didn’t like what he saw, it made something in his chest clench uncomfortably that had nothing to do with his forced enhancements, the feeling only got stronger when he could smell the scent of tears. He instinctively raised his paw to wipe the few tears that had escaped, as soon as you felt the warmth he watched as you moved your head towards his touch and your face started to relax a little.

It was taking Rocket a moment to catch up to the fact that his touch soothed you in some way, and he wondered what would happen if he gave you some more access to his touch. Edging the rainbow thing out of your arms slowly so as not to disturb you, he slipped into the space that it had previously occupied settling into the crook of your neck. Rocket figured that he owed you some cuddling to make up for not doing any the first time you two had sex and sending you on that downward spiral that almost had you; Rocket couldn’t finish the sentence.

He felt as your arms adjusted around him pulling him closer as you breathed in his scent before a calm smile slowly spread across your face replacing the frown that had been there seconds ago. Rocket usually didn’t like cuddling, it made him feel claustrophobic being forced into such close proximity to others like he was in one of those prison sleep piles but something about this was nice. At first he was sure you were confusing him for that squishy thing that you were holding earlier then he felt you nuzzle the top of his head and mumbled “Rocket snuggles” in a contented murmur.

Rocket couldn’t tell you at what point he had drifted off to better sleep than he had gotten in the last while but if he had to hazard a guess it had to be shortly after that.

You had thought you had woken up from your rest but there was no way that Rocket was cuddling you in every way you wished he had before and have it not be a dream. You took a moment to adjust to your waking state before confirming that yes it was Rocket curled into your side, gently purring up a storm in his sleep as your hand had unconsciously started stroking his head at some point. You bent your head down to place a soft kiss on the top of his head, giving a little bit of extra love to where he needed it most. You could feel him start to stir as he slowly woke up. Your eyes drifted over to where Judy had been unceremoniously tossed across the room further away from you than if you had dropped her in your sleep.

You found yourself looking down at his beautiful maroon colored eyes before you made the connection that he was awake.

“Hey” You said as gently as you could, taking into consideration how close your mouth was to his ear. You watched as he gave out a long yawn before he spoke “Hey” . You noticed that he didn’t do anything to remove himself from your arms immediately which made your heart skip with joy.

“Don’t remember falling asleep embracing you but I’m not unhappy with the update, though why does it look like Judy was thrown across the room?”

“Is tat what it’s name is?” You could see Rocket narrow his eyes at your squishmellow like she had wronged him somehow, then an insane concept crossed your mind.

“Rocket, did you yeet Judy across the room to take her place?” You watched as his ears twitched in slight annoyance at the mention of her again.

“Don’t know whatcha talkin about” You could feel him blushing through his fur as he tried to deny it, you couldn’t help but pull him in for a hug without saying anything further, you didn’t want to mess up the moment.

“What brought you to my room for a visit? Usually you’re tinkering on something by now” You pressed into him further hoping to convey that you enjoyed his presence in your arms.

Rocket gestured over to your table where some new invention of his laid “Made you that, it’ll keep your journal locked up an safe from prying eyes once you equip it” he snickered “It’ll even take a recording of who dicked with it so you can shame em later for it” Of course Rocket would build in a punishment that was so on brand for him.

You smiled down at him “Well thank you, I love it” You placed a gentle kiss on the tip of his maw enjoying the smile that spread on his face. Gifts were most definitely his love language. You opened your arms to let him escape from your grip, you didn’t want to push any of his boundaries by holding onto him too tightly. You felt as he corrected your arms to wrap around him again much to your delight “I ain’t movin unless you want me to” The second part of the sentence was said surprisingly softly compared to his usual brash tone.

You looked down at him sheepishly “I just know you don’t like being touched that much for non sexy things, so I didn’t want to push for more but I love this so much” You were trying to fight your blush down but were failing spectacularly.

“I like your touch, it’s calming” He said so softly that you almost missed it “And both of us touch starved schmucks need it more than that thing does” He gestured over at Judy who was smiling from her position on the floor.

You dismissed the idea of giving him some good natured teasing and opted instead to remove his top then yours. He looked confused till you brought him back in the snuggling position you had been before, now nestled skin to fur, and you were certain he didn’t hear the contented trilling noise he had made but you were going to keep that in your mind forever.

Nothing more needed to be said at the moment, not aloud at the very least, it could all wait till later. For now nothing in the galaxy existed but you and him; and that was all that mattered.

Chapter Management

Edit Chapter

Chapter 2: University Major

Summary:

Rocket has new tech that has an effect on his relationship with the Reader, and Reader has some feelings about this new piece of tech. Throw in a trip to one of the hottest dance clubs in the galaxy? Well you're in for a good time or are you?

Notes:

Note: References to pro-Cannabis use and call out to an OC of a friend of mine Mr.Cosmic intergalactic DJ and weed connoisseur, whose tokes are literally out of this world. I hope you enjoy looking forward to see any comments left and till next time :)

Chapter Text

Something was going to change about your current situation before the end of the night or you were going to SNAP, CRACKLE and POP! At the beginning of last week you had finally thought that Rocket was finally in a good enough place for the two of you to finally define what taking care of one another meant, neither one of you was fantastic with trying to explain what you needed from another person, so the conversation was going to be a doozy. Then on the last mission Rocket managed to get his delightfully devious paws around a new piece of technology that he had become completely obsessive over. Trying to get his attention was impossible. He was completely bewitched by his new toy and you were completely pissed that he went from being jealous of your Squishmellow cuddling you to falling asleep at his work bench instead of spending the night with you.

You were also beginning to feel that twisting ball of nerves that clenched painfully in your stomach every time Rocket brushed you off, maybe the two of you weren’t right for each other. Afterall Rocket got what he really wanted out of you during the interaction that started it all, he hadn’t approached you for any more sex; was this his way of ghosting you? You shoved your Bluetooth earphones in and started blasting a song into your cerebellum to distract from your thoughts. You ended up listening to Fixer Upper by Chandler Leighton on repeat in a delightful bout of echolalia before finally feeling good enough to join the others in one of the many hangout spots on the Milano.

You stepped into the edges of the conversation that was already in progress to get an idea of what everyone was talking about so excitedly. Apparently the Milano was headed to the hottest club in the galaxy run by the man that brought the chill to every event, Mr.Cosmic. The club was called The Blazing Place which housed one of the biggest dance floors on that side of the galaxy, including designated places on the dance floor that left space for people to add floor work to their dancing. There was also a gambling floor for people to enjoy their hands at lady luck, you could hear Rocket boasting about how many suckers he planned to target at the poker tables. You swallowed down a bitter lump of disappointment. He wasn't even going to ask if you might want to do something with him, so fuck him then.

You were smart enough to read the writing on the wall when it came to determining if someone was actually into you and whatever that moment you both had was now over. So now to get over him, maybe try to get a one night stand for the evening. It had never been your usual style but maybe it was time to try to venture out of your comfort zone. Some booze, some Terran dance music ; the club's specialty; and the decent chance that at least one being might find you attractive enough to invest some time into. You were not going to let another persons problems with commitment roped you into staying in a situation longer than was healthy to; fuck that!

You had taken a little longer to get ready than the rest of the group but you knew where they were going so you had told them to go on ahead. You pulled on your favorite black crop top with a deep v-cut in the front that clung to you like a second skin preventing your chest from going anywhere when you dance but still providing some delightfully saucy levels of cleavage. A pair of black leather like pants that gave your tiny tush the type of lift that made your legs look like they went on forever, thick heeled metal accented boots served two purposes of fulfilling your aesthetic needs and being safe to dance in without breaking your ankle.

You clipped in a few extensions into your hair to give it a bit more length to flip around on the dance floor, you did love some good hairography to go along with whatever string of moves you put together. You went sultry with your makeup extending your eyeliner into sharper points in both corners of your eyes, and it would be blasphemy to not pair the look with your favorite shade of red lipstick aptly named I am Fierce. What other shade of color could be more perfect. Pulling on your favorite spiked choker that proudly read CHAOS and slid your litany of mismatching earrings into your many piercings you headed into the club.

The club was filled with splotches of green and blue on its walls that really reminded you of fruit gushers for some reason that escaped you. It was a pleasing array of shades to look at coupled with the different levels of flashing lights towards the dance floor that beckoned to you but something ended up stopping you from immediately heading over to the dance floor, someone was calling your name. You turned to see who it was because it didn’t sound like any of your crewmates and to your astonishment it was your old roommate from university Stacy.

In the standard way of two neurodivergent friends that hadn’t seen each other in a few years the two of you circled around each other like excited dogs and asked rapid fire questions to catch up. Like what the fuck she was doing in space; tourism apparently; and what the fuck you were doing in space ; helping your crew. You two linked arms heading to the bar to get something to drink before heading to one of the floor work safe areas both agreeing to split the cost of the floorspace for the next three hours. You had donated many hours to dancing with her at clubs to help her pick up some one night stands so it was time for Stacy to return the favor and if you weren’t able to get anyone that you felt safe with you’d go bang it out with her. Just like the old days.

To your delight the both of you danced just as well as you did  back when you were on the same dance team, this club wasn’t ready for this pair of dance majors that was for damn sure.

Rocket was grinning behind his glass of Delorian whiskey as he watched some other poor sucker lose money to his superior gambling skills at the table he was playing at. Quill had been right, the trip to the club was what the crew needed. Each one of them wandered their way to the part of the club that suited their entertainment needs and each one seemed to be having a good time. Rocket briefly wondered what the newest member of the crew was up to, he wasn’t expecting the wave of guilt that accompanied the thought, he hadn’t paid a lot of attention to them in the last week. Too wrapped up in that sexy piece of tech he managed to get his hands on, he didn’t even realize it had been a week since he went to see them and he was really hoping the outing he planned for the two of you with all the money he just won would make up for it.

Rocket decided to go sit down with Quill to see whatever the twat was so obsessed with watching on the multiple screens littered in different lounge set ups in the club.

“Whatcha watching Quill?” He figured just asking outright would be the best course of action.

Peter took another swallow of his own drink before turning to Rocket “ It’s footage from the dance floor, you can vote for your favorite section of the floor  if you really like someone dancing or if it’s so bad you want to enjoy watching the person fuck up”

Rocket was about to ask Pete if he saw anything from the dance floor concerning their newest crew member when a voice rang through the comm system of the club.

“THIS IS MR.COSMIC SHOUTING OUT FROM THE DANCE FLOOR, WHERE TWO DANCE MAJORS ARE PUTTING ON ONE HELL OF A SHOW ! TUNE INTO SCREEN 6 TO WATCH AND ENJOY THE VIBES PARTY PEOPLE!!!”

Rocket got his answer as to where you went as he watched the screen switch to footage from the dance floor to where the object of his affection was enjoying themselves, looking sexier than he had ever seen them. The blonde dancing with them wasn’t hard on the eyes by any measure but he wasn’t comfortable with the amount of familiarity each showed when touching each other's bodies, though he couldn’t bring himself to move from his seat staring at the screen.

Tell me what you want, what you like, it's okay

I'm a little curious too

Each dancer walked towards the other slowly before meeting in the middle tentatively cupping each other's face in a shy but gently teasing manner.

Tell me if it's wrong, if it's right, I don't care

I can keep a secret, can you?

Both dragged a finger over their lips before slowly pointing at each other with a playful flirtation behind the flourishes of the hand movement.

Got my mind on your body and your body on my mind

Got a taste for the cherry, I just need to take a bite

 Their respective hands dragged their way from the head tapping it gently before sliding sensually down the torso before reversing the action back up the body. Licking the lower lip as if to get the traces of cherry off the lip before nipping at the air in front of them.

Don't tell your mother

Kiss one another

Die for each other

We're cool for the summer

Each leaned in close ghosting lips over one another before clawing down the column of each other's throats, leaving angry red marks trailing down the opposite side of each throat. Suddenly both broke apart to strut to opposite sides of the rented space.

Rocket’s breath caught in his throat when the two almost kissed, and then had to push down the feelings of possessiveness when he saw the welt on the side of your neck. Who was that blonde bitch that thought she had the right to leave marks on his Kit and before he could ruminate on the thought further his jaw dropped at the energy behind the strut. The look in their eyes when they strutted clearly spelt out the message bitches bow down; they were taking what they wanted with  full unabashed  confidence; Rocket hoped he got to be bitches in this situation.

Take me down into your paradise

Don't be scared, 'cause I'm your body type

Just something that we wanna try

'Cause you and I, we're cool for the summer

Sliding hands down over the crotch to give clear indication to what paradise was , rolling the bodies down slowly before snapping their heads up into a well timed hair flip with the music. Rapid small movements showing the control each dancer had over their abdominal muscles, coupled with rolling hips and arm movements that flowed in time with the beat occasionally slowing down for emphasis. 

The lyrics faded out to Rocket for a moment as he focused on the way Kits body responded to the mystery blonde, was she an old lover or someone looking to become a new lover? He watched as the blonde splayed themselves down on the floor, arms above her head ,legs open wide as Kit slid over their body grinding before rolling their body against  the woman then guiding her back up onto her feet and into the next set of moves for their dance.

Rocket had always been impressed by the way his Kit had moved even before he tied them to the bed. He had loved watching them scale buildings and whatever was in the way really during missions, the level of trust they had in themselves to make each jump astounded him. The dark corners of Rockets mind reached out to coax him into remembering why you had taken up the hobby you had at that level, it was his Kits version of an indirect suicide attempt each time they jumped or climbed something before he forcibly put some safety tech in their gear. For once the darkness in his mind was unable to take root this evening because Rocket was too entranced by the swinging hips of his darling Kit.

We're cool for the summer

We're cool for the summer

The next strut across the dance floor had both dancers give their breasts a quick grab in an aggressive but suggestive way, licking their lips as they did so, before dropping their hips down and rocking them side to side.

Shh, don't tell your mother

Got my mind on your body and your body on my mind

Got a taste for the cherry, I just need to take a bite

(Take me down)

Rocket watched as you slid in front of the mystery blonde only to have hands heavy over your body directing where your body needed to move to make it look like you were seeking the blondes touch. Rocket couldn’t help but let out a small growl as he watched as the two nearly kissed again before losing the sound to the echoing of his own dropped jaw. Kit had gone from standing on two feet to moving into a perfectly timed body roll right against the floor, before just as quickly moving into the next series of moves.

“Goddamn they are good at floorwork” 

Rocket for the first time since the dancing started remembered Quill was sitting right next to him and he did not appreciate that leering look he was giving them. Peter looked at the glare Rocket gave him before quirking his head to the side in confusion.

“What I can enjoy the view, it’s not like they’re with anyone and they are clearly looking for some fun tonight. If not with the smoking hot blonde then with someone else” 

Peter turned to look at his clearly aggravated friend with more attention than he had previously been giving to ask the question that had been stuck on his mind for the last while and it would clear up whether or not he should go join you on the dancefloor. One thing was certain at the end of the night was that the newest crewmate was going to officially be the one they ended any dance battles with; you were a goddamn assassin on the dance floor.

“What’s going on with you two? Thought you both were a thing, especially seeing all the marks you left on them but in the last week especially you’ve been ignoring them and every attempt they made to get your attention in favor of playing with the new tech you got your hands on instead. You ghosting them or something because I know I’ve been guilty of it in the past but dude not cool if you are”

Rocket’s ears flattened to his head, he’d known he had failed to pay attention to his Kit in the last week but he didn’t realize how many times they had tried to initiate during that week. He thought they were just really happy he had something to play with, and didn’t even think to look closer into the situation to see if his assumption was based in fact. Flark he was an asshole.

“What the flark is ghosting?”  Rocket tried to pull some of the self loathing into aggression in his voice instead, after all Pete was contemplating shooting his shot and he needed to shut that shit down asap.

Even he recognized when he spoke that his voice failed to have the level of bite he wanted from it.

“It’s when you start shutting down communication with a person somewhat abruptly, I mean it’s not entirely the same since it’s pretty obvious what your time is going to, but it is kinda similar”

Peter took another gulp of his drink “Look whatever issues you two got going on, you both need to figure that shit out, before”  He started to trail off not knowing how to finish the sentence off without potentially pissing Rocket off.

“Before?”  Rocket didn’t like the mixture of emotions on Peter’s face.

“Before our darling crewmate decides that the lack of clarification from your end means that you’re no longer interested in pursuing anything further with them”

Rocket watched as Peter’s eyes trailed back to the screen again before pointing at it “Afterall an outfit with dance moves like that? That’s someone putting the clear vibe out that they want to be seen as attractive and would like some attention”

Rocket looked up at the screen himself to see what the dance moves that Peter was trying to call attention to.

Gotta be compatible

Takes me to my limits

Girl, when I break you off

I promise that you won't want to get off

If you're horny, let's do it

Ride it, my pony

My saddle's waitin'

Come and jump on it

The variety of different moves that you were able to pull off while having your knees on the dancefloor both impressed and aroused him. Rocket downed his drink quickly before heading down to the dance floor, as he had some misunderstandings to clear up before he had to shove his blaster up the nostrils of some misinformed dumbass that tried to touch you. He waved Quill off as he told him good luck, he didn’t need it after all he was damn good at getting the results he wanted when he put his mind to it.

You were having a blast dancing with Stacy, spinning around each other just like old times, and judging by the amount of eyes on you during your dancing it was safe to say it wouldn’t be hard to find a partner to lick your wounds with. You headed over to the bathrooms opting to wait outside for her to finish when you felt someone grab your hand, in a grip that you were very familiar with.

“Can we talk?” You looked down to lock eyes with Rocket's dark whiskey colored eyes, you could see the jealousy he was trying to squash down and the gruffness of his voice did nothing to disguise that the question was more of a demand than request.

You snatched your hand back “I don’t know Rocket you seem to be far happier when I’m not talking to you” You glowered at him not bothering to hide the hostility in your eyes, you were sick of feeling like you were just an afterthought, it just re-enforced to you the belief that you were too much for anyone in a relationship to handle.

“I just wanna talk to yeah, Kit” He shouted over the music more aggressively than he had meant to, he wasn’t used to you being so pissed at him and he wasn’t responding well to it at all.

Rocket watched as your face glowed with rage, a  vicious scowl cutting across your lips, eyes filled with a fury he wasn’t used to being directed at him and he could see your hands clench having the nails bite into the skin.

“YOU DON’T GET TO USE PET NAMES WHEN YOU’VE BEEN IGNORING ME FOR A WEEK! IF I’M NOT WORTH INVESTING ATTENTION IN JUST TELL ME AND I CAN MOVE ON YOU FUCKING COWARD!!”

Your face was flushed a deep red, your breathing coming into your lungs in quick frenzied breaths, and your entire body trembling with rage. How fucking dare he! You were going to tear him a new orifice but then suddenly you heard a voice interrupt the blossoming fight.

“Hello Friends, I get that you’re trying to sort some shit out but we don’t need you killing everyone's vibes. So here is a private room for you to hash it out in. Peace Bitches!!”

All you remember was seeing the swirl of the galaxy before finding yourself with Rocket in a very comfy pale blue room accented with an array of lush plants and plush looking furniture in shades of dark oak brown.

“Did I just see the entirety of the galaxy or did the entirety of the galaxy see me?”  You plopped down on the couch taking note of how comfortable it felt as you reoriented yourself with reality.

“I have no idea” Rocket inhaled for the joint that was already lit in his mouth “When the flark did I get a joint?”

You shook your head and rolled your eyes “Mr.Cosmic, duh”  You took a drag from your  joint that you forgot you were smoking. Where did I?  You already answered your own question.

Rocket took another draw of the joint exhaling it through his muzzle “I didn’t realize that I was ignoring you right away and I didn’t want to approach you till I had planned some grand event to make it up to you. Guess I screwed the pooch with that huh?”

Your shoulder slumps as you leaned forward “Always the engineer eh Rocket? Can’t show someone a solution till it’s finished. I would have just preferred if you went to bed with me yesterday” You took a harsh inhale of the joint “I even made a big production of dragging Judy around near you announcing like a git that it was bedtime and I was going to enjoy a nice cuddle that night and no reaction from you at all”

Rocket wanted to smack himself on the forehead,  thinking back that must have been why Gamora suggested that he go to bed last night instead of falling asleep at his work bench again. 

“Why didn’t you just snatch the ting out of my hands if you wanted my attention?” Rocket’s voice was low, he couldn’t understand why you didn’t just snatch the item out of his paws if you wanted attention. Others have done it before so why didn’t you?

A hollow chuckle escaped your lips “Like that wouldn’t have gotten me bitten”

“I wouldn’t have bitten you” Rocket could feel his hackles start to raise as he snapped out the phrase harsher than he meant to.

Irritation slipped into your voice with every syllable “You bit Mantis twice a month ago for doing the same thing you’re suggesting and it clearly bothers you when people do that Rocket. I’d never disrespect such a clear and obvious boundary that you were presenting!” 

Rocket didn’t know what to say he wasn’t that great at the emotional talkin stuff, getting people over their rock bottom moments he could flarkin do that no damn problem but trying to do the same about current issues, that was hard for him.

“I wouldn’t have bitten you” He placed a paw on your shoulder only to have you shrug it off and turn away from him, slowly curling into yourself as the last wisps of the joint slipped out of your mouth.

“Of course you wouldn’t have” The bitterness in your voice surprised Rocket “You haven’t approached me for sex at all” You turned to look at Rocket hating that there was no way that he couldn’t see the tears threatening to escape from the edges of your eyes “If I was some curiosity you sated and decided it wasn’t good enough fucking tell me!!”  You turned your head away “Don’t fucking lead me on and hope that finally someone might want to deal with my damage enough to actually put the effort in” 

You were fully crying though not facing Rocket.

Rocket couldn’t believe what he was hearing! Did you not remember how he responded to you the first time you both slept together? How completely enthralled he was with every reaction he was able to pull from your incredibly responsive body?  He didn’t want to scare you with his libido, with how he wanted to feel your skin on his fur, how much he wanted to sleep with you still buried deep into that delightful pussy of yours just so he could go to bed feeling as connected to a person as closely as physically possible.

“I can’t deal with another person saying that they want to put in the effort to know my damage, to want to help with it and then silently reneging on the offer without giving me the update. Leaving me to keep hoping that maybe this time I’m enough, that this time someone is going to say something and mean it. That I’m not going to be abandoned just like the stray I am once the novelty of me has worn off to then”

Your body shook with sobs.

“I just can’t” The sentence was broken up through shaky inhales of breath and tears.

Rocket was floored to hear what had just come out of your mouth, it would seem that his Kit had just as shitty an inner voice as he did. He also wanted to hunt down every asshat that had made you feel that way but right now you needed assurance and he was going to give it to you but he knew he needed to show through actions as talk was cheap to you.

Rocket leaned over your hunched form, nuzzling at your tear streaked face and started to lick away at the tears which caused you to turn your head confused. He took the opportunity offered to get his head under your chin to start purring underneath it hoping the vibrations would soothe you. You weren’t shoving him away so that had to be a good sign right? He gently pushed you down on the plush couch while pushing himself further into your torso, trying to get as much skin to fur as he could get. He removed his top before continuing with what he had started.

He hoped that this would work.

He heard the quick inhale of breath when one of his fangs nipped under your chin as he was giving it soft reassuring licks and he couldn’t help himself but he nibbled again. He continued to kiss the column of your throat, leaving small occasional nips just to keep hearing the delightful sound you made every time he did. He was elated in how you moved your body so responsively to his touch, arcing your torso towards him making it easy to start slowly dragging his paw over the tops of your breasts. He kissed the small bit of skin behind your ear that he had unintentionally ignored during your last physical tryst, and instantly regretted not capitalizing on the bundle of nerves sooner because the noises you made were downright criminal in all the best ways.

Taking both hands off of your breasts for a moment, Rocket cupped your face drawing you into a long sensual kiss. You felt as he left several small kisses on your lips as if to leave his mark on every section before sliding his tongue into your mouth.

Rocket felt so relieved when you kissed back, the feeling of your arms wrapping his torso gave him the confidence to keep going as he reached down to unclip your top. He smiled into the kiss as he felt the warmth of each exposed breast against his torso, feeling as each nipple started to harden in response to the sensation of his fur against them. He could already smell evidence of your arousal currently pooling within your underwear as you both kissed, and he didn’t think he could get harder but there you were making him surprise himself.

He broke the kiss to continue nipping at your neck with added pressure, addicted to getting to hear those sounds come out of your mouth again, and they only got better when he got his deft fingers around those pert nipples of yours. Enjoying every second of listening to you lose control over your vocal capabilities as he lightly tortured each nipple, gently scraping his claw over each. Kissing down your torso he could feel your hands stroke the top of his head as he kissed over the tops of each freed breast, enjoying the combination of scents that was currently soaking your body, the lingering smells of the dance floor, the smoke from the joint you just smoked and all the enticing smells that peaked out from your lower half.

“R…ock…et” 

Was all that was able to slip out of your mouth once Rocket got his jaw around one of your tasty mounds, tongue spoiling the delicate areola with tender sensation. 

Rocket grinned at the eager response as his other paw busied itself kneading the other breast so that it didn’t feel neglected, before switching breasts lavishing the right with just as much enthusiasm as he did the left.

Your head felt dizzy with sensation as your body was painfully sensitive to his touch and some small part of your brain reminded you that solving communication issues with sex is what started this all but you were unable to focus once he slid off your pants.

Rocket’s mouth watered in anticipation as he was staring at your sopping wet mewling quim, flushed with arousal, your clitoris peaking out erect begging for attention. He took a second to let his hot breath wash over the delicate flesh watching in delight as it trembled in response before getting his tongue around his new favorite snack. Rocket quickly went to work reacquainting himself with every contour of your labia, sucking on each gently relishing in each moan that you let out before securing his maw against your clit. Rocket made sure he had good suction around the delectable nub that he was about to torture, as he lazily stroked the clit in small circles before alternating to bigger ones. He loved how your thighs trembled on either side of his head as he sucked the clit directly keeping it lightly trapped between two of his fangs. He switched to a rapid flicking of his tongue vertically as he switched tempo between soft and hard sucking, you came seconds later.

Rocket didn’t stop there fully intent to flood your body with so much dopamine and serotonin that you wouldn’t be able to entertain such stupid thoughts when you two finally got to the talking aspects of the issues you were having but for now this time was for your pleasure.

Rocket’s tongue stroked each inner wall of your cunt like he was trying to make his own 3-D model of it in his head. It didn't take long for him to find the location of the small ridged section of your velvety walls that marked the sensitive bundle of nerves that was your g-spot nor did it take him long to start manipulating said bundle of nerves to the point that your knees turned to jelly. Rocket continued to thrust his tongue at a pistons speed not content with the few orgasms that he had already coaxed from your willing body already, no he wanted to make sure you were thoroughly lubricated when he finally slid in. Though the pre-cum leaking from his fully erect cock was sure to help ease himself into you.

Rocket pulled away once he felt that he was satisfied with his work and judging by the lustful glaze that clouded your pretty irises he had a right to be proud. He smirked at the whimper you made as he rubbed the head of his cock up and down the soaked labia that he had just had his tongue around before slowly sinking into his favorite type of warmth. He rolled his hips into yours slowly enjoying the gasp you made as he did, he was even more enthused to watch the hips that had tormented him on the dance floor, roll to meet his with a degree of urgency that made him feel real good about himself.

Rocket kept his pace slow, deliberate so that you could feel every point of contact from each other whenever he thrust in, all you could do was chant his name like a prayer or a curse before wrapping your legs around him to bring him closer. You needed him closer.

Rocket busied himself groping your breasts as he continued to thrust, he would have preferred to take things slower but he just couldn’t. He needed to feel this closeness with you if the communication problem was ever going to be fixed. Rocket bit into the side of your neck as he came, lightly panting from the exertion and you could hear a few quiet contented trills as Rocket enjoyed the aftermath of his orgasm.

You were expecting him to slide out, and put distance between the both of you like the last time but to your surprise Rocket made no moves to get up.

“I wanna be close with you like this all the time, but it’s not something we could pull off living and working on a ship. And I didn’t want to scare you off with how much I like touchin yah”

You looked down at Rocket sighing lightly to yourself, you were both a pair of idiots that liked to assume what the other was thinking and the meaning behind each action.

“We need to have that actual talk, Rocket, we can’t keep doing this back and forth dance of assuming what the other is up to then getting it wrong. I can’t handle the emotional whiplash”

Your eyes were begging him to agree.

Rocket looked up at you “You’re right” he paused before an idea crossed his mind “Maybe we can go on a trip just the two of us to hash this all out without our idiot crewmates making commentary?”

He was trying so hard, and it did sound like a good idea for you both “Alright Rocket, that sounds great”

The smile that he gave you in response was infectious and you couldn’t help but smile back as well.

Though neither of you meant to, the both of you fell asleep in the private room of The Blazing Place but woke up in your room on the Milano with a few pre-rolled joints on your bedside table and a note that read: Glad you two were able to work things out. Enjoy these joints to help you both keep up with the new better vibes!Come back anytime!

Mr.Cosmic

You decided to fall back asleep in Rocket's arms dreaming of quality time spent on the vacation you had yet to plan but things were looking up. @raccoonfallsharder @watchersclaws-blog

[ofaflower]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐎𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 - 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐖𝐈𝐅𝐓

The following are lyric based starters from Taylor Swift's eleventh studio album, The Tortured Poets Department (Standard Version). Mature subjects implied within, so please use with caution. Feel free to change pronoun usage as needed. Minor edits may appear to sound more natural for dialogue. Link to 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘.

FORTNIGHT (FT. POST MALONE)

i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me

i was a functioning alcoholic

nobody noticed my new aesthetic

all of this to say, i hope you're okay

you're the reason

no one here's to blame

what about your quiet treason?

we were forever

your wife waters flowers

i wanna kill her

i took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary

i love you, it's ruining my life

my husband is cheating, i wanna kill him

it won't start up

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

you left your typewriter at my apartment

straight from the tortured poets department

who uses typewriters anyway?

you're in self sabotage mode

i've seen this episode, still i love the show

who else decodes you?

who's gonna hold you like me?

who's gonna know you, if not me?

you're not dylan thomas, i'm not patti smith

this ain't the chelsea hotel

we're modern idiots

nobody, no fucking body

i chose this cyclone with you

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me

you told lucy you'd kill yourself if i ever leave

i felt seen

everyone we know understands why we're meant to be - cause we're crazy

you took my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on - and that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding

MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVOURITE TOYS

oh, here we go again...

the voices in his head called the rain to end our days of wild

you should've seen him when he first got me

my boy only breaks his favourite toys

i'm queen of sandcastles he destroys

i should've known it was a matter of time

there was a litany of reasons why we could've played for keeps this time

i know i'm just repeating myself

he runs because he loves me

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me

just say when, i'd play again

you were my best friend

you told me i'm better off, but i'm not

DOWN BAD

did you really beam me up, in a cloud of sparkling dust, just to do experiments on?

you told me i was the chosen one

you showed me this world was bigger than us, then sent me back where i came from

for a moment, i new cosmic love

fuck it if i can't have him

i might just die, it would make no difference

come back and pick me up

fuck it if i can't have us

i might just not get up, i might stay down bad

did you take all my old clothes?

my same old town, somehow feels so hollow now

they'll say i'm nuts if i talk about the existence of you

for a moment i was heaven struck

i loved your hostile takeovers

how can you say that it's over?

how dare you think it's romantic, leaving me safe and stranded

fuck it, i was in love

fuck you if i can't have us

SO LONG, LONDON

so long, london

i saw, in my mind, fairy lights through the mist

i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift

i pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away

i stopped trying to make you laugh

how much sad did you think i had in me?

oh, the tragedy

you'll find someone

i didn't opt in to be your odd man out

i founded the club you've heard great things about

i left all i knew, then you left me at the house by the heath

i stopped cpr, after all it's no use

i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

i'll find someone

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it with my white knuckle iron grip holding tight to your quiet resentment

it isn't right to be scared everyday of a love affair

every breath feels like rarest air when you're unsure if he wants to be there

just how long did you think i'd go before i self-implode and have to go free?

you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?

i died on the alter waiting

you sacrificed us to the blue of your darkest days

i'm just getting colour back into my face

i'm just mad as hell cause i loved this place for so long

we had a good run

a moment of sun

i'm not the one

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

i forget how the west was won

i forget if this was ever fun

i just learned these people only raise you to cage you

what a mess

these people try and "save you", cause they hate you

they slammed the door on my whole world and the one thing i wanted

but daddy i love him

i'm having his baby - no i'm not, but you should see your faces

i'm having his baby

floor it through the fences

no, i'm not "coming to my senses"

i know he's crazy but he's the one i want

all my plans were laid

growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all

stay away from her

i'll tell you something right now, i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning

let me tell you about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace

i dont' cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing

god save the most judgmental creeps

you ain't gotta pray for me

fuck 'em - it's over

time, doesn't it give some perspective?

no, you can't come to the wedding

FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER

now pretty baby, i'm running back home to you

fresh out the slammer, i know who my first call will be to

he don't understand me

you were with me in dreams

it's gonna be alright, i did my time

i was handcuffed to the spell i was under

now i know better and i'll never lose my baby again

all those nights, you kept me going

you weaved me into all of your poems

no matter what i've done - it wouldn't matter away

ain't no way i'm gonna screw up now that i know what's at stake here

FLORIDA!!! (FEAT. FLORENCE + THE MACHINE)

you can beat the heat if you beat the charges too

they said i was cheat, so i guess it must be true

my friends all smell like weed or little babies

the city reeks of driving myself crazy

little did you know, your home's really only a town you're just a guest in

packed my life away just stay in a timeshare down in destin, florida

florida is one hell of a drug

florida will use you up

i got drunk and dared it wash me away

me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time

yes, i'm haunted but i'm feeling just fine

all of my girls have got their lace and their crimes

your cheating husband disappeared?

well, no one asks any questions here

i did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that'd ever been on my body where in my mind they sink into the swamp

is that a bad thing to say in a song?

i need to forget

take me to florida

i've got some regrets, i'll bury them in florida

tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable

at least the dolls were beautiful

fuck me up, florida

GUILTY AS SIN?

he sent me "downtown lights", i hadn't heard it in a while

my boredom's bone deep

this cage was once just fine

am i allowed to cry?

i dream of cracking locks and throwing my life to the wolves - or the ocean rocks

i'm seeing visions

am i bad or mad or wise?

what if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh, only in my mind?

oh, what a way to die

i keep recalling things we never did

how i long for our tryst

without ever touching your skin, how can i be guilty as sin?

i keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault

someone told me: there's no such thing as bad thoughts - only your actions talk

we've already done it in my head

if it's make believe, why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

my bedsheets were ablaze, i screamed your name

what if i roll the stone away?

they're gonna crucify me anyway?

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

if long suffering propriety is what they want from me, they don't know how you've haunted me so suddenly

i choose you and me, religiously

WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?

the who's who of "who's that?" - is poised for the attack

my bare hands paved their path

you don't get to tell me about sad

if you wanted me dead, you should've just said

nothing makes me feel more alive

she'll leap from the gallows and levitate down our street

who's afraid of little old me?

the scandal was contained

the bullet had just grazed

at all costs, keep your good name

you don't get to tell me you feel bad

is it a wonder i broke? let's hear one more joke then we can all just laugh until i cry

i was tame, i was gentle til the circus life made me mean

don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth

who's afraid of little old me? you should be

so tell me everything is not about me - but what if it is?

they say they didn't do it to hurt me - but what if they did?

i wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

all your kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs

i'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all say?

i'll sue you if you step on my lawn

i'm fearsome, and i'm wretched, and i'm wrong

i put narcotics into all of my songs, that's why you're still singing along

you lured me, you caged me, and you taught me

you caged me then called me crazy

i am what i am cause you trained me

who's afraid of me?

I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY, I CAN)

the jokes he told across the bar were revolting and way too loud

god help her

he's my man

but your good lord doesn't need to lift a finger

i can i fix him, no really - i can

the dopamine raced through his brain on a six-lane texas highway

i could see it from a mile away

you're a perfect case for my certain skill set

he had a halo of the highest grade

he just hadn't met me yet

i can fix him

only i can

good boy, that's right - come close

i'll show you heaven if you'll be an angel all night

trust me, i can handle me a dangerous man

whoa, maybe i can't...

loml

who's gonna stop us from falling back into rekindled flames if we know the steps anyway?

we embroidered memories of my time away, stitching "we were just kids babe"

i don't mind, it takes time

thought that i was better safe than starry-eyed

i felt aglow like this - never before and never since

if you know it in one glimpses, it's legendary

you and i went from one kiss to getting married

you low down boy, you stand up guy

you told me i'm the love of your life about a million times

who's gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate, saying i had reformed you?

your impressionist paintings of us turned out to be fakes

well, you dragged me to hell too

a con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme

i felt a hole, like this - never before and ever since

what we thought was for all time, was temporary

mister "steal your girl, and make her cry"

you said i'm the love of your life

you shit talked me under tables, talking rings and talking cradles

i wish i could un-recall how we almost had it all

are they second-hand embarrassed?

i can't get out of bed cause something counterfeit's dead

it was legendary

it was momentary

it was unnecessary

should've let us stay buried

what a valiant roar

what a bland goodbye

the coward claimed he was a lion

i'll never leave

never mind

i'll still see it til i die

you're the loss of my life

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

i can read your mind

she's having the time of her life

in her glittering prime the light refracts sequin stars off her silhouette every night

i can show you lies

i'm a real tough kid

i can handle my shit

they said "fake it til you make it", and i did

lights, camera, bitch, smile - even when you wanna die

he said he'd love me all his life - but that life was quite short

all the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting more

i can do it with a broken heart

i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday everyday

i'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague

i cry alot, but i am so productive - it's an art

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart

i can hold my breath, i've been doing it since you left

i'm sure i can pass this test

he said he'd love me for all time but that time was quite short

i'm miserable and nobody even knows!

THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED

was any of it true?

gazing at me starry-eyed in your jehovah's witness suit, who the fuck was that guy?

he tried to buy some pills from a friend of friends of mine

they just ghosted you, now you know what it feels like

i don't even want you back, i just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal?

i don't miss what we had but could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived?

you hung me on your wall, stacked me with your push pins where in public you showed me off - then sank to stoned oblivion

once your queen had come, you treat her like an also-ran

you didn't measure up in any measure of a man

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

were you writing a book?

were you a sleeper cell spy?

in fifty years, will all this be declassified and you'll confess why you did it

good riddance

it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden

i would have died for your sins, instead i just died inside

you deserve prison but you won't get time

you'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars

you crashed my party and your rental car

you said normal girls were boring, but you were gone by the morning

in plain sight you hid

you are what you did

i'll forget you but i'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived

THE ALCHEMY

this happens once every few lifetimes

what if i told you i'm back?

the hospital was a drag, worst sleep that i ever had

i haven't come around in so long, but i'm coming back so strong

so when i touch down, call the amateurs and cut them from the team

ditch the clowns, get the crown

baby, i'm the one to beat

the sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me

honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

hey you, what if i told you we're cool? that child's play back in school is forgiven under my rule

i'm making a comeback to where i belong

these blokes warm the benches

we've been on a winning streak

he jokes that it's "heroin", but this time with an "E"

there's no chance try to beat the greatest in the league?

where's the trophy?

CLARA BOW

you look like clara bow in this light, remarkable

all your life, did you know you'd be picked, like a rose?

i'm not trying to exaggerate - but i think i might die if it happened to me

no one in my small town thought i'd see the lights of manhattan

this town is fake, but you're the real thing

a breath of fresh air through smoke rings

take the glory

give everything

promise to be dazzling

you look like stevie nicks in '75, the hair and lips

the crowd goes wild at your fingertips

i think i might if i made it

no one in my small town thought i'd meet these suits in L.A.

beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours demanding more

only when your girlish glow flickers just so, do they let you know

it's hell on earth to be heavenly

them's the breaks they don't come gently

you look like taylor swift in this light, we're loving it

you've got edge, she never did

the future's bright

dazzling

[kirkypet]

six favorite fics meme

Thanks @thebyrchentwigges for tagging me!

I haven’t been writing very long (certainly not compared to some 😄), but I’m coming up to my 8th writing birthday so it’s long enough to have gathered up six favourite fics and have a reasonable amount of difficulty about it

I’ve written for two main fandoms: Mad Max Fury Road, and American Gods (tv), so I’ll be picking from them. Let’s say three from each:

Fury Road

I had to work my way through my in-canon headcanon, if that makes sense, before I found my fun place in this fandom - AUs. What can I say, I’m not outdoorsy, gritty or action-driven enough to do justice to the Wasteland proper. But AUs have a bit more room for manoeuvre.

I’m still not clear what’s the proper definition of Fury Road characters in another fandom’s universe is, but that’s what these first two are.

A Bladerunner take on Citadel life, transplanted to Los Angeles with cyberpunk Many Mothers and a Very Special Max.

💡 What made me think of it? I plotted it out while being bored by Bladerunner 2049

📚 What It Taught Me: that I don’t need to be scared of writing action

🎶 The Song: Do You Know The Way To San Jose? (Dionne Warwick) … thump thump thump

Rebel smugglers and elite sex workers in space! This is an extended retelling of the quite comical Firefly episode ‘Our Mrs Reynolds’, with a sequel thrown in because this story spawned a delightful villain and an unexpected ship.

💡 What made me think of it? A tumblr prompt post doing the rounds - something about a Wild West brothel Fury Road AU idea

📚 What It Taught Me? That it’s a joy to get comments where people are YELLING. Incoherently yelling.

🎶 The Song That Makes Me Think Of This Fic: Delta Dawn (Skeewiff)

This is actually my most popular Fury Road fic, in terms of kudos. More straightforward this one - it’s not a crossover or mashup, but a simple fairground AU. Byrch gave me tarot advice for this, for which I’m eternally grateful.

💡 What made me think of it? Listening to Fortune Teller (Benny Spellman)

📚 What It Taught Me: That you can get a whole plot from a single song (more or less)

🎶 The Song that Makes Me Think Of This Fic: Going to have to say Sweet Caroline (Neil Diamond) makes me want to cry a little now

American Gods

For me, this fandom’s fic was all about FIXING IT. Fixing the end of season 2, to be more specific. Hence, my first two favourite AG fics are two different flavours of Laura Resurrects Sweeney. They’re both technically series, each consisting of one Resurrection fic, one very short follow-up, and one What Happens Next.

This is the first in the Stir Crazy series, a shutdown-era fic with themes of marriage, belief and shortsighted schemes that have unforeseen consequences. Salim’s in this one - and they’re detectives! (nearly forgot to mention that)

💡 What Made Me Think Of It? The devastation of the end of s2. Simple. The detectives bit to be honest I can’t remember where that came from.

📚 What It Taught Me? I don’t need to be afraid of writing smut (I tackle it in much the same way as I do action)

🎶 The Song That Makes Me Think Of This Fic: Promised Land (by any of the artists who recorded that song BUT name checking Chuck Berry who wrote it)

The first in the I Can Fix Him series. Laura goes to Ireland! Shadow does some self-reflection! Themes include the Geography of Gods (I guess you could say that gods, like grapes, are very sensitive to their terroir), polyamory and everyone acknowledging that they fucked up and being better for it

💡 What Made Me Think Of It? A tumblr picture of a portal tomb in Ireland somewhere, can’t remember the specifics but it was the start of the idea

📚 What It Taught Me: It confirmed that flying from Dublin to the US involves way more liminal spaces than any other international travel

🎶 The Song That Makes Me Think Of This Fic: it’s a toss up between Alive And Kicking (Simple Minds) and Gettin’ Happy (Dolly Parton) - I couldn’t fit it in, but that’s the middle Zorya sister’s song. She deserved some good lovin’

This isn’t a fix-it fic (I’d got those out of my system by then), but was inspired by Boss Level, a movie that improves with every watch. Simple premise stolen from that film - assassination mark gets stuck in a timeloop and starts over every time they get killed. Laura of course is the assassins’ mark - and there are several gods queuing up to take her out. Sweeney included, but his definition of ‘take her out’ is a little unclear.

💡 What Made Me Think Of It: Boss Level, as mentioned

📚 What It Taught Me: it’s a joy to get fanart

🎶 The Song That Makes Me Think Of This Fic: Joy Division Oven Gloves (Half Man Half Biscuit). The line ‘talk to the hands’, specifically

Thanks for asking!

Tagging @evilasiangenius @bethagain @lurkinghistoric and the very lovely @jandjsalmon whom I’ve only just now looked up on tumblr (I see you recc’d one of these - thankyouuu 💚💚💚). Btw this was just my way of answering the ‘what are your 6 favourite fics that you’ve written’ question - do it however you like

[bythenineshards]

Omg what was up with that Feysand stan on ur post????? ITS JUST A THEORY. (Not to mention a MUCH better pairing) and lol if Feysand was always endgame why in the fck does Rhysie SA Feyre??? Did Sjm do that to build sexual tension (cause Feyre says in Acomaf she had "wanted him even then") AND THAT'S INFINITELY WORSE!!

Lmao they tried to fire up on one of my posts too and I immediately blocked them. Seen them one too many times fighting about posts that's none of their business. Like life is so empty u need to fight with strangers on the internet to feel something. I am literally so mad not them saying Tamlin Apologists deserve to be bullied?!?!? For liking a fictional character????!!

I took personal offence to that

Ha! See! I told you I would respond today. I totally didn't get sucked into Skyrim and my writing and nearly forgot.

Idk what their problem was. They blocked me like the first week I was on here so I didn't think much of them. I knew about them because there would be discourse on posts and an invisible opponent. So I guess they unblocked me to stir shit and idk, get more traffic to their blog? They rebranded with a name that is clearly meant to draw in Antis of Feysand. I think they're like 15 and so I guess they're in their "I'm edgy look at me phase" where they want to pick fights because they think they're always right and special. I'm so glad I didn't grow up with my cringe behavior on the internet.This is why we don't sell erotica or "dark romance" to children. They can't handle speculation or discussions. I bet they cry over Marvel's What If... series because it's not Canon. Like... the post that had them all fired up was speculation about something we have receipts for. And a lot of people liked the idea. All they do is make the books look worse.

And the way they talk about Feyre vs. Nesta is like they think they're written by two different people. This isn't Harry Potter (fuck you Rowling) vs. Twilight (fuck you Meyers). I don't think Feyre gets a free pass to transform into a person of another race just cuz Nesta and Gwyn modelled their stuff after the Valkyries. I think both are bad and icky because the same author wrote both and clearly doesn't see how offensive that could be. I do, however, think that there's a difference between what Feyre did and the Blood Rite. Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie were kidnapped and forced into the Blood Rite. They didn't actually choose to.

Side note though: Valkyries are from Norse mythology. It does chap me that she couldn't use a mythology or create something new for her Illyrians to flesh out their culture. She just used a primarily white culture for her non-white character's culture.

Sorry to rant about that. It just irked me.

I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would ship Feysand the way it's written in Canon. I can with 100% confidence say I've never written a romance that involved anyone SAing anyone. Hell, I don't feature SA at all really. I don't want it in my fantasy. I want people to find peace and love in my books. Men have written enough SA in fantasy, it doesn't need any from me.

But like... if you look at their posts, the reason I don't like Feyre is because I wanted "my fav" to end up with Rhys. They can't fathom that I don't like Rhys at all. I don't like any of her men. They don't appeal to me at all. The only one I might’ve had any inkling of interest in is Kallias but I'm sure if we spent more than a handful of pages with him, I'd hate him too. I think she'd eventually change all of them regardless of appearance to something shallow and toxic.The Bat Boys specifically are boring to me. Their designs suck, their personalities suck and the way they treat their women sucks. Nothing I see in her books is what I would classify as love. Her books aren't about love. They're about sex with hot dudes. But you know what? Other books do romance, love and even just sex better.

I'm glad you blocked them. Just know, they still spy on us.

Thank you for your ask. I hope you're doing well.

[wilted-yellow-flowers]

two and a half weeks before Easter I had to fly to Taipei from Lower Matecumbe through Key West and San Francisco for family reasons. because of a key lime pie, some very aggressive desire to not impose, and a sword shaped key chain, along with a whole bunch of other mistakes, I didn't get to the airport far enough ahead of time and missed my flight. I then had to be driven from Key West to Fort Lauderdale, spend the night in tht brightest and noisiest airport on the face of the fucking planet,

slept face down on my backpack on some chairs and woke up with the zipper pressed into my face.

I flew to San Francisco from Fort Lauderdale and wandered into a Sunglasses Hut, thinking,

"I wear my sunglasses all the time now, living in the Keys. I haven't had much money because of my shit, absolutely garbage job that doesn't pay me, plus missing this flight cost me a lot, and it's kind of expensive to have to fly to Taipei, better just try on."

I walk in and don't like any of the ones the saleswoman is giving me to try on. I want mirrored aviators. Ray-Bans. she clearly disagrees with the ones I want but reminds me that the second pair is $60 off with their current promotion. I tell her,

"hey thanks for showing me around I'm just going to order these online by myself"

and she hands me an ipad. "you want custom ones right?"

I don't see a way out and I think I've actually forgotten I was trying to escape? or probably I forgot I was trying to escape in order to save money. I remembered I wanted to leave and it seemed like the fastest way to get to leave the store was to just buy some sunglasses?

I don't remember why but she said some kind of customization wasn't available on the frames I chose but! the second pair is $60 off! so I could get a SECOND pair with a different frame but that customization it would be perfect. I remember tapping through the customization screen. I remember there was a couple in there looking at Gucci sunglasses with the other attendant. I remember waving my phone over the credit card reader? and almost leaving without my receipt.

I walk all the way to the curb and was ordering a Lyft home when I get a phone call? from the sunglasses hut. dazed, I pick up,

"hello?"

"hey this is Brenda from Sunglasses hut, ummm you live in San Francisco right, maybe I could ship your luggage to you?"

"oh, no, I'm still at the airport. I'm just outside, let me head towards the security gate so you can hand it to me"

"what?"

"you can just bring my suitcase to me, I'm still at the airport"

"oh okay good, you didn't leave because you knew you left your luggage right?"

"uh actually no, I didn't know at all"

"what the heck. you. you didn't know?

okay where are you? oh I see you I'll bring it out"

I'm like standing on the other side of the glass waving at her store and the security guy already glared at me once and barked, "hey no reentry"

she brought out my luggage and was so confused why I wasn't panicking or super grateful or anything. mostly I was tired as hell. at this point it had been well over 24 hours since I had left my bed in Lower Matecumbe.

I wandered around the underground parking garage for a little while, with my suitcase. frustrated that I couldn't find the designated share ride pickup area. turns out I went down instead of up at one point and ended up at the right place but four floors down.

The driver tries to make small talk with me and I decline. I tell my discord friends I may have accidentally spent $435 on two pairs of sunglasses that will arrive in my house in the Bay Area when I am still in Taipei.

the lyft takes over an hour to get to my house from the airport, I don't live in San Fransisco. I spend one nice day at home and then I take another Lyft back to the airport, and after a 12 hour flight, I have to deal with my family in Taiwan.

I don't want to talk about that part much. it was pretty harrowing. it was Good to see family I haven't seen in a really really long time. I was going to go back in 2021 but there was a travel restriction for Americans because we were handling the pandemic so badly.

I wasn't there for good reasons, really. but it was good to get a chance to say hi. I leave my electric toothbrush at the resort we stayed at. I call them and my aunt gives them her phone number and address so that she can mail it to California when they find it.

after 9 days it is a 10 hour flight home, and then one night sleeping at home, (I retrieve my sunglasses from the porch) and then a 4 hour flight to Houston. My flight to Key West gets delayed. I buy Starbucks for breakfast. its an hour late. the Starbucks at the airport is full of teenagers. there must be a field trip. they are out of oat milk and I settle for almond. 2 and a half hour flight to Key West. my friend finds me and then it's a 1 hour drive to the camp where my they work. I can cook and eat dinner, and another hour drive from there to where I work and sleep.

the guy who can drive me to where we work is still working so I hang around waiting for him to finish working and then he drives me back and on the way back, I realize that oh fuck the full moon isn't on Easter. it's tonight! I'm tired as hell but I've got to do it, I've got the wine and the candle and a lighter. I've never been to that beach at night but I can do it today.