#i feel so stupid rn i even told me friend omg i have to include this i havent watched sens8 but its canom right?

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

can we do propaganda for ships that weren't included? because i'm kinda feeling like sharing rajan/kala/wolgang and lito/hernando/daniela from sense8 propaganda

that's right! TWO canon (or canon-ish depending on who you ask) polyam ships in the same show! i love them so much and i can't believe they weren't included,,, (i'm not blaming you for that and i love what you do, to be clear, i just want to share the love)

GOD DAMMIT I WAS GONNA INCLUDE RAJAN/KALA/WOLFGANG AND I FORGOT IM SO STUPID

this is my formal apology to the sens8 fandom for what my empty brain did. also yeah u can share the love it makes me happy to see ppl excited about what they're passionate about

[t4llhum4n]

👀 pleaaaaase talk about vega i wanna hear everything you have to say about him 🙏🏻❤️

OMG, YES THANK YOU. YOU'RE A GODSEND <3

Vega is my favorite character from a writing perspective. Full stop. Both Prime and Imp!Vega are such interesting character studies for me it's unreal. Imp!Vega is a whole 'nother can of worms though, so I'll save that for another day.

Gonna cut because I can already tell that this is gonna be long.

So, what's so interesting about Vega for me? Firstly, I ADORE the way that Erik approaches "morally grey" with him. Like, I love grey morals, but I really don't like it when a character is just mysterious for mystery's sake, y'know? But with Vega? There are REASONS.

Reason one: He's old as fuck. No but fr, I LOVE this example of immortality and living for millennia. We always talk about how being immortal would kinda suck because all of our friends and loved ones would die and all that. This guy? He's been there, done that. Vega has existed for so long; it makes so much sense that he's disillusioned to stuff like death or suffering. Which brings me to my next point..

Reason two: Not only is he old -- he's an old sadism demon. So, not only has this dude witnessed people dying and suffering, he's BEEN THERE. Hell, he's probably been causing it for thousands of years. I mean, everybody's gotta eat, right? Which, when you think about it, would make the outcome of the Cacophony so much worse for him. For all we know, the Vega that coalesced ages ago was a kind and gentle daemon, but when they imprisoned the Sovereigns, and he found out that he had to feed on the worst kinds of feelings? He would've had to bury that part of himself to SURVIVE. It's crazy man.

Another thing, the way this man plays manipulator is so insane. Like, he doesn't outright lie, he just tells the truth when and where it suits him. And he never makes himself out to be a victim or a good person. He gives explanations for his actions (sometimes), but never full-on excuses. That line about "Warden" being complicit in his actions after he told them that he was going to hurt people? If they didn't go to the Department, then yeah, they would be complicit. Speaking of the Department..

HE'S GIVES PEOPLE AN OUT. And it's in a VERY manipulative way (because I'm only talking about Prime rn). He keeps an air of mystery around "Warden" to draw them in. He knew that they were curious about him, like genuinely curious, and he played on that BIG TIME. He made a whole big deal out of his plans and kept them vague so Warden would naturally be curious about them. Then, and ONLY then, is when he reminded them that they "could leave at any time." Motherfucker KNEW that Warden would not leave his side.

And the indications of his character? He's said that everything he does is in service of his plans. So like, did that include getting caught? Was he aware of "Warden's" existence beforehand? Is he just using them? And that's the best part: WE DON'T FUCKING KNOW! Vega's manipulation is written so well that even we, as listeners, have no idea if he's truly opening up to "Warden" or not. Unreal.

Anyway, that's getting into theory territory, and I'm not about to open that box (yet). Focusing on canon stuff again, he's powerful as hell but is so subdued about it. He doesn't flaunt it beyond saying things like, "If I wanted, I could have you curled up at my feet like a dutiful puppy." And that's just.. true. No hubris on this man whatsoever. He knows his strength, and he isn't going to play it up. That'd be stupid. He might play it down though but once again that's theory territory.

And, to address the elephant in the room, the VOICE?! So so pretty. I literally get lost in how smooth it is. I made a post when Vega's new audio came out about how I had to relisten to it because his voice was so pretty it was distracting, and I just want you all to know that that is a very common occurrence for me. It's so pleasant to listen to, and part of me wonders if that's part of his manipulation as well. Like, he purposefully trained his voice like that so that it was pleasing to hear, and it made people more willing to listen? Either way though, easily one of my favorite voices on the channel (Anton's climbing quickly tho).

The fact that he's SUCH a manipulator makes him such a good character to reveal lore and foreshadowing through. Because guess what? You bet your ASS that there's gonna be some doubt there. This man has ONE audio that doesn't have either a [gaslighting], [manipulation], or [threatening harm] tag. ONE! So of course we're gonna doubt it. That means more mystery for us and more theory fodder for people like me who read way too deep into things.

..also thank you @fluffsoo for the ask!

Edit starts here!

Okay, we're back. And funny enough, I just had an in-depth conversation with a friend about a character in a book we're reading for class that we see as irredeemable. So, now I feel like talking about redemption, and along that line, how interesting it is that Vega doesn't care about being redeemed.

I love characters that are set in their goals. Vega is one driven son of a bitch -- he has his plans and fuck is he gonna see them through. And the sentiment of "no matter what it takes" is so much more interesting here. As I mentioned above, he's been exposed to the worst aspects of human emotion since the Cacophony, which explains why he's so numb to the pain of others. It's been part of his daily existence for thousands of years. So, what does he care if he has to break a few eggs to make an omelet? It's nothing new to him, and as far as he's concerned, humans do it to each other all the time. He's seen it happen millions of times over the years. Why should he care about hurting them if they don't seem to care about doing it to each other?

And his disinterest in redemption is only further shown by him not really caring that humanity will benefit if his plans come to fruition. His only focus is how it will benefit his people, who he knows have suffered for millenia longer than any human ever could. It's as he says, "The long run is the only thing that matters to [him]." Vega has no care for humans at all. He has no qualms about using them, in whatever way he must, to reach his goal.

HOWEVER, that's all his cruelty toward any human ever is. It isn't born out of hatred or disgust; what's the point in hating a being that's so much weaker than you are? He doesn't hold grudges because grudges slow progress. He doesn't seek vengeance because that would get him sidetracked. Nothing he does to humans is ever truly personal, and that's such a fascinating thing to dive into. Every cruel and vile thing he does is in service of his plans -- making him single-minded, but in an infinitely interesting way. The reason why he's so quick to jump to violent measures is because, like it or not, that's the quickest way to ensure that you get what you want. He doesn't care that it's wrong. It's efficient. That's all that matters.

Anyway, I could go on forever about this. Vega is genuinely such a well-written villain (with a voice that's pleasing as fuck to match), and I really love looking into all of the complex characters in the Redacted lore. I could write essays upon essays about characters like Regulus, Blake, Morgan, "Cutie" etc., and y'know, I just might :D

[beeindaclouds]

Hey Bee! So i kinda disappeared for a bit and haven't asked anything in a while so you probably don't remember me, but, hi!

Anyways, a little angsty hurt comfort blurb for Sapnap is honestly what I need rn. Idk if you do prompts but i saw one: "They say distance makes the heart grow fonder." And i'm missing my girlfriend a lot so a friends to lovers thing?

He\him pronouns if possible and have fun with this if you decide to write it!-♈

Hallooo, welcome back!

Idk why y'all like to make me suffer with angst, but here it is T^T

Hope you enjoy <3

The Distance

Includes: Sapnap

Click Here before requesting, please ^^

Reader: He/Him

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder

If you would have told 7 year old you that, he would have probably laughed at you

He had no time for silly things as love

He had Minecraft to play with his best friend, Pandas

Oh if he only knew that his friend was also the cause of this desperate feeling he now had

You and Sapnap had been inseparable since elementary, nothing ever got in the way of your friendship

Not the stupid fights you had over killing eachother's Minecraft animals, not both of you getting jealous because you were hanging out more with other people and definetly not your 5 minute girlfriend in middle school

Only once you grew up realising what you actually felt for your friend that destiny decided it was time to ruin everything

You parents had told you that you were all moving to Florida before highschool started

And unfortunately that meant leaving Sapnap right as you discovered what you truely felt for him

And now here you were, complaining to your mutual friend, Dream, about how much you missed him and how he didn't know how you felt and how it would never happen anyway

You were hopeless. There was no hope in your heart that Sapnap would've ever liked you back

Even with all the calls and texts, that to Dream and George were obviously ways of the texan to keep you as close to him as possible, you felt like you had absolutely no chance in the world

But while you've been crying your poor heart out about your, totally not obvious, crush, Dream was planning on helping Sapnap move to his house

The two had obviously told you nothing, an idea of Sapnap because he too had been in the same position has you

He discovered his feelings much later than you, but once he came to terms with it, is where he knew that he couldn't really stay away from you any longer

You didn't suspect anything when the masked man had invited you to his house; it was normal of him to do so once in a while

Suprise hit you when you opened the door and, instead of being met with the tall blonde man you were used to see for the past few years, you were met with Sapnap's bashful face

Without a second thought you tackled the texan to the ground, tears forming at the corner of your eyes

"You stupid f*uck- when did you plan this?!"

"A few months ago, I'm moving in with Dream, we don't have to be a part anymore"

"OMG I f*ucking love you-"

...well sh*t

"...not the confession I was expecting, but I missed you too much to complain. Love you to"

"Good... wait, what-"

"Can you love birds get off my front door?"

[kpophubb]

Hii it's me!

Your Hee anonie~ ☆

I'm back and ready to spam you with love. However, this message won't be any soft hour or imagine :O !

Firstly, seeing your response makes me giggle and my friends actually suspected for like 2 weeks that I actually had a crush on someone. As if law school gives time for that. ANYWAY after much confrontation I told them that it's me reading your response to my asks hehehe

Secondly, soooooooo I am huge reader and I mainly love to read classics, mysteries and legal thrillers (whodunit!!!) And there was book fair in my campus!! 60% off 😲 SO OFC I WENT and I was picking up classics, some textbooks etc. And I passed by romance section. Now I am not a romance reader (I have read a few which I LOVE) anyway but I love looking at what's new or what's currently hot in each genre. And suddenly I get surrounded by like 8 girls who are simultaneously going "NO PLS YOU GOTTA READ THIS ILL GIVE MY FIRST BORN IF YOU DO" "it's so good" "you'll cry" "you jaw will be hanging open" blah blah etc etc and help I didn't even know like 3 of them 😭

Guess which book of them were talking about ??

Coolen Hoover's It Ends With Us. And ngl I am kinda hesitant about romance genre itself but also a little to try books from Katie Roberts, Colleen Hoover, Jenny Han etc. Because I just feel like I will be disappointed and there will be a lot of "oh they're teenagers, they're growing they make stupid mistakes" kinda things idk if I am able to explain it nicely. Just hesitant that I might invest time into a book only to get irritated at tbe actions of the characters. And while I do understand that there won't be any drama if the characters were completely rational and fine, it just gets under my nerves when they make stupid decisions like getting back with someone who cheated on them, parents being useless, doing drugs at parties etc. IK I SOUND LIKE A STUCK UP RN BUT PLS I JUST WANT A BOOK WITH RATIONAL AND NORMAL PEOPLE. anyway point is I was like ??? Is this a cult ??? Anyway I ended up getting the book because well they were like "we'll pay for it !!" And how can I say no to my bestie spending money 🤨🤨 true friendship right there.

And then I OPEN TUMBLR AND SEE COLLEEN HOOVER IN YOUR ACC ?? IS THIS A CULT ?

Also here are the romance books I have read AND really loved :

1. House in the Cerulean Sea (ok not really romance but ?? It's still fluff and has romance and found family)

2. Red, white and Royal Blue

3. The Kiss Quotient

4. The Lovely War

Pls I will FRAME THIS BOOK. MAKE A SHRINE. SO GOOD. help.

Anyway do tell me your thoughts on your fav books if you read !! And hehehe pls 🙏 saw your masterlist 😟 I am stunned 🤐 speechless 🤯 masterpieces 💫 I gotta binge read everything now ig I have no other choice.

ALSO YES THIS IS WHAT I ACTUALLY STARTED WRITING THIS ASk FOR.

Are you up for some angst too? Like I have some angsty thoughts if you want. Ofc with enha AlSo may include some SKZ members idk I am not telling 😚

Anyway stay hydrated !! Byeeeee ♡☆♡☆♡

Also yes I manifest Jake hoon live everytime I send you an ask hehe

Hello and welcome my hee anonie 🥺🫶🏻 (I just saw your ask a while ago and I DASHED to get all my work done so I could sit down and reply nicely to you that’s how much attention you deserve from me and everyone) FIRST AND FOREMOST, HAPPY HEESEUNG DAY!🖤

Aaaaaah I love this kinda gossip!! You don’t even have to come up with imagines all the time trust me I love it sm when ppl fill me up with their random thoughts and what they did throughout the day cause it’s so adorable to me!! You can always go upto someone and send them fanfics, but only ppl who care for u and love u truly will sit down and listen to you rant and find you cute for it! For me you’re like that ♡ and ugh omg!😭 if they suspected that, then that means my asks must have made you SMILE REALLY BIG!🥺 that makes me so flattered and smiley you have no idea xhdndjdndj yaay achievement unlocked!😘 (ikr how do people even date when they’re law or med students but FIRST, how do people even date when they Stan enha istg I can’t find anyone else attractive irl my brain has smh registered jake as my real love lmao anyway)

Now I’ll be real honest with you. I’d give it ends with us a 7.5/10 and not really recommend it for someone like you who’s really busy and looking for a 11/10 experience, without any disappointments. I read the book when I was 16 y/o and I remember finding it so touching and good but when I reread the book again once I turned 18, I realized there are so many things wrong with that book? So many mistakes and messed up situations and most importantly, so many triggering themes with no warnings like- childhood trauma, death of a loved one, abusive parents, rape etc. etc. it’s a real bad buzz if you have any one of these traumas as it might inflict unwanted pain inside your heart for no reason. On the other hand, I’d really suggest you “twisted love.” It’s an adult romance book, it’s for mature adult readers, has twists and smut too, friendships, family and it’s really an ♾️/10 for me. :’) <3 and about your Recs??! I’d definitely check them out baby I’m a big bookaholic!

Aww thank you so so much?🥹 I really like editing pics and videos as a free time hobby and since I didn’t have access to internet for 2 hours I edited all the layouts and pics for my masterlist! Thank u so much for showering my works with love. :’) and pls I love angst? Angst is so so underrated in my opinion. Everywhere is fluff and smut but my fav genre is angst tbh. I have a request to you, in your free time, PLS READ MY FIC “but were you mine?” Part 1 is attached to it read it first it’s a small drabble and I also attached and made a video with the title to double the heartbreak effect lol. It was really personal, the dialogues really reflected the insides of my heart a lot, unrequited love and I go hand in hand and that fic I wrote is the most special and closest to my heart. So I’d be so honoured if you read the 2 series drabble and lmk your thoughts. And, I’ll also be up for your angsty imagines ugh I’ll be waiting!!

You take care too bubs!! Ikr I hope so too jakehoon always come live when we talk? That would be so cool!😭 it’s already so cool that you found my book ask after you bought it, see everything you do brings you back to me tehee <3 🙈 now time for my unnecessary tmis that you didn’t ask for. OKAY SO remember how I told you I wanted to make a collector enha ig account? I FINALLY MADE IT! aah so so happy I’ve always found them so aesthetic I can’t believe I made one for me. 🥹 I’ll be posting reels someday too over there hehe! I also feel very relaxed recently cause I wrote poetry in my journal and decorated it with my feelings so AAAH! Since this got quite long anyway, I’ll end this but let you know first that- YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE AMAZING, YOU ARE APPRECIATED, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH! 🤍🤍

[azucanela]

Dating korra would include

BEING KORRA’S S/O[GENDER NEUTRAL]

BEING ZUKO’S S/O | BEING SOKKA’S S/O

SUMMARY: life with korra from confession to marriage

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

WARNINGS: no major spoilers 

A/N: SOMEONE WITH T A S T E, i hope you don’t mind but i kinda just did the same thing i did for my zuko headcannons so feel free to scroll straight to the during the relationship bit if you just want dating korra h/c :D 

also i have 300 followers now what, i literally had 200 like yesterday hi everyone <3 um i really need to start pulling out all the stops

GETTING INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

she’s a simp.

that’s it. thats the headcannon. she has literally liked you since she met you and has said nothing, but you probably know since she’s so damn OBVIOUS ABOUT IT

korra is very in tuned with her emotions so when she realizes she likes you she’s pretty okay with it, a little more flustered during your interactions, but after a while her goal is to make you feel how she feel which is flustered.

she has no shame though, she knows she is hot and she wants you to know she thinks you are hot

lots of flirting on her end, so naturally you kinda begin to think she is joking and think nothing of it

this was not her intent, and now that you are desensitized to her flirting and not reacting flustered like you did when she first started she is frustrated™

you were not understanding that she very much likes you

stupid

she hasn’t said anything outright to you about it though, which is the main reason you are like lol this is a joke, my crush fake flirts with me i am okay

spoiler alert: you are not okay with this it hurts ow

so now shes getting ridiculously affectionate with you, which, tbh, she always was, but not its RIDICULOUS, korra is out here throwing an arm around your shoulder, randomly grabbing your hand, kissing your cheek

shes trying really hard to get her point across like really really hard

like painfully hard

if she likes you its probably because your fun, like you really spice up her life and introduce her to new things and go on really dumb adventures and really important missions with her and you put up with her and wow now korra is simping oops

you’re also probably forcing her to stay healthy, since i honestly think that despite having such an appetite, korra will forget to eat and take care of herself sometimes.

she is so bad at drinking water i swear to goD

there are two situations here

situation one is where korra finally realizes that you CANNOT READ SIGNALS AT ALL and decides she going to be upfront with you about her feelings

she’s either going to just flat out kiss you next time she sees you or spill all her emotions, of both in no particular order

you’re like reading in your room in the air temple, just vibing, and you see her coming towards you with a determined look on her face and you’re like ??? lol okay

you go back to reading only to have her hand reach under you jaw and she brings you into a kiss and now you’re like LOL OKAY

you honestly think that this is just another one of her stunts to get you flustered and means nothing

stoopid

and then she pulls apart and just starts spilling her feelings and you’re like :O omg me too 

and she’s like, “great, we’re dating now.” and suddenly she’s kissing you again, and between kisses you’re like, “im sorry what?”

“you heard me. do you have a problem with that?”

you just kiss her again

situation two is where you get sick of her and realize woah she may or may not be in love with you and so you confront her, and now there is a lot of yelling because you are frustrated™ and like screw you korra

you honestly think she is either madly in love with you and just doing this as a joke, and you genuinely think the latter is more like so you lowkey start crying and korra immediately begins to panic

she’s like, “why would i ever joke about that! i’ve literally been trying to get that through your thick skull this whole time!”

this time you kiss her first and korra is throwing a party in her head but she also feels really bad for making you cry oops

DURING THE RELATIONSHIP

okay so korra happens to be very much a simp

and you happen to be very much the mom friend™ it doesn’t matter if you are a boy girl or none of the above, that is your trademark my friend

she’s very affectionate and now that the two of you are dating she is at a whole new level.

important meeting? you are in her lap she does not care. war meeting? she is cuddling you as you explain the plans of attack and DAMN DO YOU LOOK GOOD DOING it

since being the avatar is MUCH more a political position now though, she does try to keep your relationship slightly on the down low, even before you were dating, you both had reporters constantly asking about your relationship and she doesn’t really like that

they are nosy and she does not approve. korra understands wanting to know about her avatar duties, but anything outside of that in regards to her personal life annoys her

loves kissing you, and when she does it tends to be intense and passionate. after a particularly tough day though, her kisses can either be slow and sensual because she just wants to have a nice soft and domestic day with you

OR

they can be harsh and almost brutish, she will get rough with you because she is highkey pissed at everything that day and making out you with is her stress reliever

really likes cuddling and anything domestic in general. she’s really happy with you, and she kinda has all the love languages

she seeks validation when the press is particularly harsh since being the avatar is HARD and as much as she wants to, she cannot please anyone, so please tell her she is doing amazing

so many acts of service up in here, she will randomly do stuff for you, spontaneity is kinda her vibe ya know

very vocal and expressive about her feelings, communication is key with her

arguments aren’t a rarity tbh, but when they do happen they tend to be more of debates over little things like what’s better, pineapple pizza or no?

major fights tend to end poorly since she can be a little stubborn when it comes to such things, but she will admit she was wrong and apologize IF she was wrong

if she wasn’t wrong but the argument got out of hand, she’ll apologize for that but will affirm her correctness

kiss her scars, she has them, and she is proud of them but 

support her at her pro bending matches and she will DIE, so happy, literally sososososososo happy, hugs you, loves you, yes

treats you as an equal no matter what, even if people think that as the avatar she should see herself as something more than

very protective of you.

like if someone flirts with you, she is clingy x10. if someone hits on you despite your protests, she HITS them. if someone threatens to hurt you, she promises to end them. 

MARRIAGE N STUFF

WELP

she’s gonna realize she wants to propose when she almost loses you, or in the middle of a battle. when the reality of potentially losing you hits her she is gonna realize she wants to live out the rest of her life by your side, protecting you

situation one is where she literally, in the MIDDLE OF BATTLE, without a ring, just proposes. you are being a baddie, bending if you are a bender, fighting the opposing enemy, looking MIGHTY FINE while doing it

“marry me.”

you falter, nearly getting hit as your head whips over to her and you’re like, “ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

and she throws a giant rock at the opposition, temporarily indisposing them, “yes?? why wouldn’t i be.”

Someone comes up behind you and you elbow them in the face and ram your foot into their knee, knocking them down, “RIGHT NOW?” 

she throws a whip of water in your direction and you dodge it, allowing her to take out the enemy behind you, and you throw a whole dagger at her to do the same. “that was close.” she narrows her eyes at you bc you lowkey look like you wanna kill her rn as you two hide behind a barricade for cover and an explosion washes over it, “you could’ve killed me.”

“you just about gave me a heart attack when you PROPOSED two minutes ago, need i remind you.”

korra raised a brow at you, “is that a no...?”

“do you even have a ring?”

korra gives you a look that gives you the answer and you groan, “i cannot believe you.”

“you really should’ve expected this.”

“i know.”

“i get to pick the ring then?”

“you’re probably going to plan the whole wedding.”

“alright.”

theres a boom from beyond the barricade you two have hidden behind as korra looks to you, “alright?”

“i’ll marry you.” you elaborate, giving her a bright smile.

situation two is more depressing lol

you have been SHOT oops, don’t die pls because korra CANNOT handle it after everything that has happened to her, so if you die she’s done

she’s kinda just sitting at your bed side and it hits her that you could die basically any day now, and she would have so many regrets

she wished she kissed you more, told you she loved you more, held you longer, spent more mornings with you and your bedhead, she wished she learnt to cook so that she could surprise you with a meal when you get home from a long day of work, she wishes she did a lot of things

she wishes you two were married.

korra is now having an existential crisis, and everyone is telling her that she has to go home, get some rest, you’ll wake up eventually, you’ll get better, but you don’t wanna wake up to korra being a mess

she knew they were right, you always scolded her for not taking care of herself, so she decided to follow some of their wishes

Korra cannot bring herself to go home, there are so many reminders of you that it hurts, and she kinda just decides she’ll stay in a hotel and wash up and such.

besides, you are her home.

after leaving the hotel, she ends up going the jeweler and buying the ring she believes screams you

when korra returns to the hospital, she contemplated proposing right then and there, before realizing that you’d probably yell at her for choosing such a ridiculous time and you already had a lot on your plate

once the two of you return home and you are in the midst of recovery, she did learn to cook, so you wouldn’t feel the need to do so, and given your situation she fears you’ll injure yourself further in the process.

you two are eating dinner and you’re babbling on about something you’d read, and she suddenly decides to get up and walk over to you, leaving you like ???

then she gets down on one knee and you are like :O

she’s like, “marry me.”

naturally, you start crying and nodding because wow this is such an intimate moment and just happiness

kissinggggg after that 

the wedding is, under NO CIRCUMSTANCE public, the most private and intimate wedding ever. korra hates reporters after her life as the avatar, she doesnt want strangers at her wedding.

any and everyone she has ever fought beside is there though, its wholesome and nice

definitely cries when she sees you at the altar

her vows are MASTERFUL AND TEARJERKING 

its a pretty basic wedding though, unless you prefer something over the top, the food is nice a mix of both your cultures and favorite things and there’s beautiful lighting

definitely done on air temple island, and tbh tenzin would probably walk you down the aisle because i said so

married life with her is even better, she lives for he domesticity of it all, especially lazy sunday mornings with the light filtering in and you just looking all pretty and having a lil fun

iykyk

honeymoon in the spirit word lads

bolin is your number one supporter

life with korra is a 10/10 i do recommend it

A/N: im kinda in love with korra lol this requests made me happy

[boognish-worshipper]

Remember the Rain

praying this is the final part of “Sunrise, Sunset” by the time i’m done omg ,, lamar finally talks it out with frank. i was tryna keep the titles consistent with a sky theme? wasn’t sure what to name this one at first, but i settled on naming it after a i song that i felt was sorta fitting lol ,, also lamar’s dramatic when drunk, that’s jus how it’s gonna be

oh and i included one last convo w/ that psychic lady bc each character got three opportunities to speak to her lol

//

The night Franklin and him fought was the third night in a row Lamar couldn’t sleep right. Then it became four. Then five. Six. He had hoped after the first couple days of Franklin being mad, that it’d all blow over and things would go back to normal. That he wouldn’t ever have to say anything about what he felt deep down. Even though he told himself he had to, he wouldn’t. He waited it out, and still hoped it would all just fucking blow over. That wasn’t what happened of course.

An overcast sky was spread over LS, light rain tapping against Lamar’s window. As cheesy as it was, it reflected how he felt. Another day had passed. Franklin wasn’t picking up, not even reading his texts, nothing. He called a couple times at first when the fourth day of the silent treatment occurred, then tried a few more times to contact him in the following days. It had grown into a long and sad string of texts.

franklin.

dog

plz

pick up

answer me

plz?

c’mon frank i told you i have nothin goin on with yo auntie

i wanna talk things out with you.

u ain’t let me finish explaining

text me when u read this. plz bro

He sighed. This was hopeless. He set his phone aside, still laying awake. A buzz came right after. Fucking finally, something.

fuck you

we got nothin to discuss

He didn’t know how to feel. This was fucking him up and he couldn’t think straight. He tried calling him once more, the ringing as he waited for a pick up mocking him. Voicemail yet again. How many messages had he tried leaving at this point?

for fucks sake frank pick up

u ain’t doin this to me rn

jus let me explain myself

He stared at the ceiling yet again, like it would have all the answers sprawled out for him. As he did, he focused on how the rain had picked up, coming down harder. Then he felt his phone buzz.

no

now stop blowing my phone up

i’m tryna sleep

Lamar was never one to be sensitive, but he felt so crushed right now that all he could do was cry silently to himself. He didn’t even have Chop around anymore to comfort him like he normally would whenever Lamar was going through something. Would he even see him again? He lived over at Frank’s now. Fuck. Did this mean they’d have to share custody now? If he wasn’t so upset, he most likely would’ve laughed at the idea of it. He was letting bad thoughts consume him, turning to a last minute resort of drinking to try stopping it. This kind of thing rarely happened to him, these kind of feelings weren’t common. He knew no other method of trying to stuff bad feelings down, working through a 6 pack of beer on his own, followed by a bottle of some type of random liquor. Anything to stifle the pain in his chest, although it didn’t accomplish much other than making him feel even more queasy. He left one last voicemail, choking back a sob. Or what he had thought would be the last one. He lost count.

“Franklin. Please jus’ talk to me already man. You- you believin’ what you wanna believe right now, you ain’t even givin’ me a chance. You my best fuckin’ friend, don’t that mean shit to you anymore? We.. homies n shit.” He sniffled, cringing to himself when he said the words “best friend”. Franklin was so much more than that to him.

“Ion… Ion think I can live without you in my life. You can’t hate me man that shit.. that’s fucked. This is fucked. I’m fucked.”

A strong feeling of humiliation hung around him for many reasons, one being that he was fully crying now, over the phone. He couldn’t get any lower.

“You jus’ mad right now. But you.. you won’t be, eventually. Right? Please get back to me soon. Please. I’d rather fuckin’.. die or sum’ than have you hatin’ me n shit. At this point I might as well.”

After hanging up, he decided to visit that site one last time. His tears blurred his vision, making it harder to type. The shit in his system didn’t help either.

lady

i fuckef up

thsi is yo faukt

What now? Why are you back?

frankljn hates me

He does? That’s not right.

damn straighy it fuckign isnt

No, I mean that’s not correct.

There’s no way that he could, even if it seems like it right now.

jus fuckin tell me whst to do

That’s out of my hands.

is not u fuckin wirch

*withc

*witch

Look, I really don’t know how else to help you. I don’t have any other visions to offer. You’re on your own.

They do say though, that dreams are visions themselves.

dont fukcin speak in riddles rn

Precognition, Lamar. Just have faith

prewhatnow

n yeah. faith. bc that helps so fuckn much

All I can say to you is good luck - it’s all coming together. Just wait.

th fuck does that mean?

It means that you’re stressing too much - you better sleep it off. Farewell Lamar. You’re gonna have a killer hangover you know…

SERVICE UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

The notification did nothing but make him more upset. He calmed down eventually, the crying and alcohol tiring him out. He blacked out soon after, not remembering when he fell asleep.

For the first time in a while, he dreamt about the two of them. The start of the dream showed a radiant sight before them, the sky lit up in a million shades. Chop was laying beside Franklin, head on his thigh. All three of them sat on a grassy knoll, a soft breeze blowing through each blade. Franklin turned, Lamar not taking his eyes off him since the dream started. He only noticed the sky’s wide color palette because the intensity struck Franklin’s face just right. He looked right into Lamar’s eyes, speaking softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“What?”

“You had so many opportunities. So many times, I thought that you would. I got my hopes up, you know. I waited. When Tanisha left.. I only had you.”

“Tanisha..”

“I still love her. I.. I think apart of me always will, but I love you just the same. Even if you drive me up a Goddamn wall sometimes. You both mean the world to me.”

Franklin looked back at the view ahead. A heavenly indigo replaced the vivid hues from before.

“But she’s gone now. Shit ain’t the same. All I know is you stayed when she didn’t. Even when she got pulled outta the hood and made some kinda new life for herself, you never left my side. Never changed yo loyalties.”

He turned back to face Lamar again. His eyes were glassy, the glow of the midnight sky reflecting in them.

“So why didn’t you say somethin’ sooner?”

“Franklin.. I ain’t deduce that shit ‘til now.“

“You really didn’t know?”

Even in the dream he could feel that previous frustration occur in his mind. Was he hiding in a glass closet or something? He could only let out a wry laugh.

“Yeah man. I was a fuckin’ fool, jus’ like you always said.”

“Damn straight.” He chuckled, and Lamar came to the conclusion that he could listen to that laugh forever. Franklin’s face then fell solemn.

“Y’know I really thought that.. I really thought that you jus’ got with someone else. Not even jus’ my Aunt. I saw how you wanted to get away from me, and I thought…” He stopped himself, petting Chop’s head.

“I.. wanted to be happy if you was, but the thought of that at all bothered me.”

“Why?”

“Cuz you were all I had, dog. Mike n Trevor, they have their own lives, their own history n shit. I can’t always rely on them. Denise don’t give a fuck what happen to me. You my lifeline dog, I’ve known you for years. I didn’t want you to forget me over a chick or sum’. That day you acted all different n shit, it worried me.”

“Hey man, y’know I ain’t ever gon pull that shit on you. I’m with you for life.”

“Then don’t pull other kinda stupid shit on me.”

“Whatchu mean?”

“You can’t ever die on me bro. That ain’t how this shit works.”

“Ay man, I don’t plan on dying jus’ yet. Not unless yo ass by my side. Not ‘til I tell you I…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

Franklin got closer to his face, cupping his cheek. His eyes shone as the stars around them fell from the sky, akin to raindrops, hitting them. Everything about him was flooding Lamar’s senses, and it felt surreal, between his aroma and all the other things he loved about Franklin. Golden flecks covered them both, and the stars continued to crash down. The sky was growing darker than before.

“Just say the words Lamar. Say them and this shit’ll be over.”

“How?”

“Well first you need to wake yo ass up.”

“Huh?”

“I said wake up, fool!”

Lamar’s blissful dream had been interrupted by an unknown figure shaking him, literal raindrops hitting his face. He was still bleary eyed, only seeing a vague silhouette in front of him. A wet slap to the face rattled his brain around, the hangover settling in. Shit, was he still drunk? What time was it?

“Lamar! Get up!”

“Oh.. Th’fuck? Who- who that is?” He grunted out.

“It’s me you fuckin’ clown!”

“Frank?”

“Who the fuck else?”

“Why are you-”

He was abruptly yanked out of bed, thudding to the floor with a small “oof”.

“Get up you punk bitch!”

“Franklin what the fuck-”

He was grabbed again, tossed back onto his bed. Franklin straddled him, shaking Lamar by the collar.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He said, Lamar getting another slap to the face.

“What in the fresh fuck is you talkin’-” Another slap.

“15 fuckin’ missed phone calls! 15! Are you fuckin’ nuts?!”

Lamar’s eyes practically popped out of his head. 15? What the fuck did he say to him?

“I did what-”

Franklin shook him even harder by his shirt, stretching the material out. He was straining his voice now.

“You had me worried like fuckin’ crazy! I thought you was in some sorta fuckin’ trouble again! You blew my phone up when I told yo ass not to, and then didn’t fuckin’ pick up after I heard the first couple special messages you left me!”

Oh God. This was it. He told Franklin everything, didn’t he? The color drained from his face.

“Oh fuck me..” He mumbled, putting a hand over his eyes.

“What?!” Franklin yelled, shaking him again. Lamar’s head was pounding.

“Franklin.. what.. what I say on there? I barely remember a thing, let alone callin’ yo ass.”

“You seriously don’t fuckin’ remember?!”

“Yeah. Seriously, man.”

Franklin slid off of him, putting a palm to his face. He breathed through his nose hard, trying to calm down. Lamar realized he was drenched from the small downpour outside. Pellets of rain thumped against the window as a reminder that the storm never went away.

“You.. fuck, man. You started sayin’ all this shit about how bad a fuckin’ friend you was. That you, you was hidin’ all this shit and couldn’t live another day without tellin’ me.”

Okay. Good. He didn’t tell him the truth.

“You told me you wanted to die dog. Didn’t realize yo dumbass was safe n sound asleep in yo fuckin’ bed.”

“Oh.”

“…’Oh’? Is that really all you have to say?!”

“F, I was jus’ drunk. It was dumb of me, I know, but I.. It’s nothing, okay?”

“Don’t do this shit to me man! I’ve already dealt with enough of yo fuckin’ schemes n shit-”

“Frank.”

“It’s 3 am! You had Chop barkin’ his Goddamn head off the whole night!”

“Franklin.”

“Then I race my ass over here to find yo drunkass self passed out in bed-”

“Franklin.”

“What! What?! You finally gonna put yo two cents in for once?”

“Stop yelling. My head hurts like a bitch right now.”

“Good! I’m fuckin’ glad because I know mine does as well you fuckin’ asshole!”

Lamar looked pathetically up at him. This was getting out of hand. He let it go on for too long.

“Why did you come here then?” He croaked.

“Because you were fuckin’ sobbin’ into the phone! All I heard was you cryin’ like mad fuckin’ crazy and it scared me. You don’t ever do that shit, not even when you fucked up.”

“How much I say?”

“I got the first message pretty fuckin’ clear, the rest was jus’ incoherent bullshit. I barely got through the second one before speedin’ on over. You sounded hurt n shit, I thought something happened. I thought you was a goner.”

“No weird shit though right? I ain’t say nothin’ bad?”

“What? Lamar, what the fuck are you on about? I just told you what yo ass cried out to me! I couldn’t even understand any of the other messages!”

“Okay, okay. That’s.. good I guess.”

“That’s good? Fuckin’ hell, why did I come here? You- ugh!”

“Franklin. Can you jus’ sit down before you pop a fuckin’ blood vessel? You stressin’ for nothin’.”

If anything, Lamar should be the one stressing right now. He had been so close to confessing without knowing. Franklin sat next to him, arms crossed.

“Franklin.”

“What.”

“I’m sorry that I scared you. I didn’t mean to.”

“Well good fuckin’ job, you accomplished that real well didn’t you.” He said, sarcastically applauding him.

“I thought you were cutting me off for good homie. You think I was gon’ let that happen?”

“Lamar, that still ain’t a good reason to freak me out like that in the middle of the night.”

“It’s only cuz you hadn’t been listenin’ to me bro. I’ve been wanting to tell you somethin’ so badly lately and I never.. got the chance.”

“Then do pray fuckin’ tell LD, what the fuck is so important that you had to do this shit to me at 3 AM!”

“Franklin man, c’mon-”

“No! Don’t start!”

Franklin stood, heading for the door as he spoke. He stopped in the threshold.

“Tell me what the fuck is goin’ on with you, or I’m leavin’ yo sad ass here to wallow. I mean it L.”

“Don’t be like that. Please man. I want to, but I-”

“Jus’ fuckin’ tell me! Why won’t you tell me?!”

“Frank-”

“I dragged my ass all the way over here for nothin’ didn’t I? You ain’t dead, you ain’t sayin’ shit, you jus’ bein’ so- ugh! Fuck!” He threw his hands up, exiting Lamar’s bedroom.

“I’m done man, fuck this.”

“Franklin wait- don’t go-” He pleaded.

Franklin did nothing but leave him stranded again, thunder rolling far in the distance. Lamar ran after him as he walked out the door, hearing the rain heavily hit the pavement. His mind was racing far ahead of him. Franklin was leaving, he was leaving for good, and he couldn’t. He can’t. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Franklin can’t do that, he can’t-

His mind had gone so far away, that he didn’t even realize that he had tackled Franklin to the ground. The two of them fell to the ground with a loud splat, followed by sounds of pain.

“Lamar what the fuck?!”

“Don’t go! Fuckin’ hell, I gotta chase yo ass and for what?!”

“Get off me dog!”

“No!” Franklin was pinned beneath him. The raindrops that rolled off of Lamar hit him in the face.

It reminded Lamar of when they were younger, playing football or whatever sport they could outside even as the deluge soaked them both to the bone. The roles had been reversed, with Franklin constantly knocking him down onto the grassy sludge. They got quite an earful from Lamar’s mom as they tracked mud in the house upon returning. It was a memory amongst many that stuck with him like glue. Those memories couldn’t go away. Franklin couldn’t go away.

Tears mixed in with the rain as he yelled out to him.

“You fuckin’ idiot! Why you makin’ this shit so hard for me?! You keep leavin’ before I can even finish!”

Franklin struggled to break free from Lamar’s grip on his wrists, huffing as he looked away.

“Look at me!” Lamar shouted, grabbing his face with a free hand.

“I didn’t wanna fuckin’ tell you like this, but Jesus Christ! For fucks sake you stubborn asshole-”

He was doing it. He bit the fucking bullet.

“You know how we got into that fuckin’ argument last week? When I told you that I was dealin’ with that whole love thing, I wasn’t talkin’ about yo Aunt, a hoe, nobody else! I was talkin’ about you!”

Lamar threw himself off of him, stumbling backwards. Franklin propped himself onto his elbows. He finally said it. He said it, and he was far from finished.

“But you didn’t wanna fuckin’ listen! And now I’ve fucked our friendship over for a second time! All because of you! This whole thing has been drivin’ me fuckin’ insane lately, and I couldn’t do shit about it! I tried so, so hard to avoid this, but nothin’ ever goes my way, huh?! Every time I think a plan of mine’ll work, it doesn’t! You know why?!”

Opening his arms wide, he spoke loud and clear, finishing his rant.

“Lemme remind you: I’m Lamar fuckin’ Davis! The biggest fuckin’ fool, fuckin’ clown, fuckin’ whatever you wanna call me! Lamar Davis, the most naïve bitch on the planet! Fuck me for thinking that this would ever go well!”

Now it was his turn to leave. But he didn’t go back into his house. His legs moved for him, walking in no particular direction. He just needed to get away from Franklin, not caring about how damp his clothes were now. He was shaking, and he didn’t know if it was from the rain or the range of emotions he was flying through.

He could hear a pair of sneakers squishing behind him. Franklin was running, and he was catching up fast.

“Ay Lamar! Get back here!”

Oh fuck. He was chasing after him now. That’s not good. Lamar started running himself, not caring about possibly slipping and falling on his ass. Only a few hours ago, he had told himself he couldn’t be without Franklin. Now all he wanted to do was run away.

“Lamar!”

Fuck fuck fuck.

He wasn’t fast enough. The second time they hit the ground, Lamar had the wind knocked right out of him, the duo splashing right into a puddle. Hands gripped his shoulders, flipping him around.

“Lamar!”

There were only a few instances in his life where Lamar felt small. He’d always been big in character, big in height, and according to him, big in other ways. But this was one of those moments where he couldn’t help but flinch, wanting to collapse in on himself. He was so tired.

“If you gon’ beat my ass or somethin’ jus’ get it over with.” He sighed, shutting his eyes tight.

When he felt nothing but raindrops touch his face, he opened his eyes slowly. His heart sank when he did. Franklin was visibly upset, guilt in his eyes.

“Lamar. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

A wave of déjà vu washed over him. Oh. So that’s what precognition meant. Motherfucking psychic lady.

“You should’ve jus’ told me man.”

“I tried dog. You wouldn’t hear me out.”

“Cuz I.. I thought you got with someone. I didn’t wanna hear it straight from yo mouth if you was.”

He shifted up, Frank sitting in his lap.

“Y’know I always thought that.. Part of me jus’ kinda thought that it’d always be the two of us. I’m never gonna get Tanisha back.. but you..”

Franklin looked away.

“You a crazy ass loyal motherfucker man. You stuck by my side no matter what, and some dumbass part of me was convinced that you… I mean fuck, so many times I thought you would jus’ flat out say something. Somethin’ so I could stop waiting for the one other person I had known forever to just say that they fuckin’ loved me like that.”

Lamar blinked, rainwater getting into his eyes. It wasn’t quite as serene as his dream had been, nor was it verbatim, but Lamar didn’t care. There was something about the way the water droplets sat along Franklin’s face, highlighted by a streetlight behind him that made him look angelic.

“When you started actin’ all weird it jus’.. made me so fuckin’ mad man. I thought you was gon’ pick someone else over me. Jus’ like Tanisha did.”

“Franklin..”

“So why didn’t you jus’ say somethin’ sooner? I waited. Hell, I don’t even know why I did at first.”

“Franklin.”

“But now I’m realizin’ you must not have even noticed yoself what you was feelin’, when I fuckin’ did. I noticed and you didn’t and-”

Lamar grabbed him by the face, grip surprisingly strong after being in the rain.

“How many times do I gotta say yo name for you to hear me?”

The rain kept falling, never slowing for either one of them. Yet, it felt like time stopped. Lamar chuckled lightly.

“Franklin Clinton and Lamar Davis. Two of the dumbest motherfuckers in LS. Homies for life.”

“Yeah. Homies for life.”

His hands never left Franklin’s face. He pressed their foreheads together, lowering his voice.

“I love you, bum ass bitch.”

“Yeah yeah. I love you too.”

He kissed the top of his head, moving his hands down to embrace him in a tight hug. When was the last time they did this? As he thought it over, he could hear Franklin’s voice muffled against his chest.

“Don’t scare me like that again. Next time save us both the trouble n jus’ spill yo heart out. Dramatic motherfucker.”

The words had no malice in them, Lamar feeling him smile as he said it. He kissed him once more, and they just sat in the rain, feeling it bathe them in fond memories.

//plz listen to remember the rain by 21st century it’s so good 💔😭 anyway ya i decided to end it on a sorta happy note !!!!! franklin is a stubborn guy smh,, sorry for any typos lol also i rlly had no idea where i wanted to go with this so sorry if it’s weird or whatever

[mousehole5000]

wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142

i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng  back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon

pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that? xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?

“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse! Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.

okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights

“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen

Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit. “DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now

“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!” “I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh

i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit

“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.”  CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad

shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting

“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity

“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...

also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!

“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17

“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY

“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on

didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on

The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something

quan yizhen..... i get u

lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well.  okay now to my current notes

“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic

“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…” Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:

“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken

“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS. “I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo

“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???

and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny

“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values

“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho

*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD

mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back

“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent

“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;

“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical

also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....

also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....

xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help

“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3

waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her

“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!

okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature

this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do

amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on

“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ” “...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.” “After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart” “Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...

oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think

[readingisthenewcool]

A mutuals (<3) masterlist (aka: I rant about my mutuals for way too long)

Definitely follow of of these blogs because they are almost as amazing as the people that run them!! I have so many amazing mutuals but these are just the ones that I have talked to the most and for the longest, sorry if I missed you, know that I still love you the same <<33

@a-stitch-in-timey-wimey - PROBABLY MY BEST FRIEND ON HERE, SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO FUNNY AND I CAN TELL HER LITERALLY ANYTHING. She's such a babe, I met her through one of my posts I made agesssss ago (yeah that’s right, she’s and OG) where I was like "like and reblog this post if you like any of these fandoms and I'll dm you" and our friendship grew from there!! We both love Voltron, Klance and pasta and one of our first interactions and inside jokes was when she told me when she dropped toothpaste down her sock lol cause how do you even manage to do that (do you even remember that jess???) and idk it’s just such a fond memory even though it’s so random. I fucking live for when she rants/tells me stories on snapchat, I was actually watching one of her ‘storytime’ vids that she sent me and like 5 minutes into her story (when we were getting the climax!!) my phone died and now I’m stuck on this cliffhanger until my phone recharges (so imma write all this while I wait lol). She also didn’t murder me when I broke our 105 day streak (I”M SORRY) in fact she wasn’t even mad!! If that’s not the sign of a true goddess I don’t know what is! ALSO, she's SUPER pretty and inspired me to cut my hair, I'd been think about cutting my hair short(er) for a while and after she cut hers and I saw how pretty she looked, I thought I must do it I must be like Jess. I love her so much from the bottom of my heart and I'm so glad that we're friends <3

@galacticpandasstuff - JADEEEEEE MY SWEET BBY I HOPE YOU GET SOME SLEEP. I always love my deep chats with Jade, we've been mutuals for a while but didn't start talking until recently, we often talk in the afternoon for me and when it's like 4am for her. She def needs to sleep more but we all still love her anyway! Despite her not sleeping that much, she’s still drop dead gorgeous and handles tough situations like a fucking champ wtf, I wish I was even just half as strong as her. I’m very proud that my networking skills have really risen up to the challenge and have paid off because and I’ve connected Jade to a couple of my mutuals and they all love her nearly as much as I do!! She's always so kind to me and I'm sure she'll be kind to you too, she has a relatively small blog and it definitely should be bigger so highkey recommend giving her a follow and maybe even a dm too because she's v nice!!

@repetitive-tautology - JAMES OMG WHAT A FUNNY GUY HE’S AND ACTUAL LAD OMG. I actually love James so much and despite me always feeling inferior to his Top Notch (TM) wittiness and intellect, we manage to have an excellent friendship. We also met through that post I made (about liking certain fandoms and then I would dm you!!) but we never really ended up talking about any of the fandoms lol, our conversation (and friendship!!) just immediately took off. I absolutely love his blog and he's such a funny guy, I've met a lot of great mutuals and friends from him (vague crusade!!!). We unfortunately don’t talk as much as we used to (I’M SORRY BUT DISCORD REALLY SCARES ME, OKAY) and I hope that after this post is... posted it’ll prompt us to talk again! He's one of the actual OG's of my blog and played a vital role in my pasta brand becoming a thing! He also came up with funky spaghet and sinful noodle (if you remember those names lol). Anyway, if you're looking for a laugh, definitely hit him up and follow his blog!!

@raging-chaotic-bisexual - DFGHJKLLKJHGFDSDFGH SOHIE AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY!! Half of our interactions are are sdfghjkjgfd I love *insert something* so much dfghjhgfdedfgh. Yep, we use keysmashes arguably too much but I literally don’t even care. I can talk to Sophie about whatever I’m excited and no matter what the subject is, she’ll match my enthusiasm and that’s one of my favourite things about her. She’s excellent if you wanna talk about literally whatever you want and I feel as if she’d be an amazing hype woman. (also another one of my Australian bby’s!!)

@hudusello - Dakota is the motorbike bitch (well, more cars now lol) and a future lesbian biker gang member. I always feel hella stupid talking to Dakota cause shes got a shit ton of knowledge on pretty much all mechanical vehicles and before we met I knew approximately zero (0) things about cars and stuff and despite feeling like the inside of my skull feeling as empty as the middle of a balloon, I love learning all this cool new stuff that she teaches me! I love having a good old chat no matter the subject and Dakota is such an OG on my blog. Despite having lots of different interests, I’m really glad that we bonded over a few things that we have in common (like she-ra and minecraft!! [WHICH I WILL REDOWNLOAD SOON AHHHHH]) cause I really enjoy talking. So definitely follow Dakota cause once again, a relatively small blog and also great for a fun chat if you like cars and/or are willing to learn about them 

@carry-on-wayward-birbs - I LOVE THIS DUDE OML WE ALWAYS CHAT ABOUT WHERE THEY’RE UP TO ON BROOKLYN NINE-NINE CAUSE THEY’RE SUPER BEHIND BUT I LOVE HEARING THEIR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING LOL. Even though our chats are almost strictly b99 related, we do get personal sometimes and I’m very glad that we can balance out our good and bad experiences in our friendship and help and support each other but also get so fucking pumped over brooklyn nine nine too. But yeah we have great chats and would definitely would recommend giving their blog a look  <3 (ALSO THEY ALSO SEEM EQUALLY CONFUSED ABOUT THE CONCEPT OF TIME AND THE YEARS THAT PASS AND THAT’S GOOD (kinda??) CAUSE THAT MEANS THAT I’M NOT ALONE AND I’M VERY GRATEFUL FOR THAT)

@everyoneprotector - mm yes, Alex, my dude you’re such a legend, you’re my aussie mate!! Very cool spider person ::::) and I enjoy our food debates (whether they’re civil or it’s just us screaming at each other in the reblogs for like an hour). You’re an ace-mazing legend that we all stan, I’m very glad we starting interacting, my only regret is that we didn’t start sooner!! 100% recommend Alex’s blog if you’re Ausralian cause they’ve got some top notch Australian content (They’re posting about the election rn lol) but even if you’re not Australian, you can still enjoy their posts cause they’ve got a bunch of funny stuff on there (including funny fandom stuff!! I’m not even in a lot of the fandoms that Alex posts about BUT THE POSTS ARE STILL GREAT)

@ihateitwhenyourejustvague - ABSOLOUTELY WONDERFUL AND BRITISH. Peppa pig wishes she was vague. Our vague crusade champion queen, all hail vague. I actually had to leave the group discord cause the power from it was too strong for my poor mortal body to handle (nah, it was actually because I’m really scared of discord and being in a voice chat with more than one person is so frightening but IT’S NOT ABOUT ME IT’S ABOUT SPREADING THE LOVE) So definitely go follow vague!! They’re the best!! Also!! A very good writer!! I always reblog the writing posts but I highly recommend asking to be added to the writing tag list so that you make sure you see every single writing post!

@bakugou-klancey-lance - We pretty much never talk but they add a cheeky lil “uwuuuuu <3” in my inbox every now and again and I think that that’s really sweet (also very funny blog!! 10/10 would recommend!!) 

I WOULD DO MORE OF MY MUTUALS BUT I HAVE TO DO SOME MATHEMATICAL METHODS HOMEWORK ::::(((((( 

probs won’t do it lol but I’ll damn well try

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: [When the first snap] Janis: what the fuck Grace: my reaction to you being in my inbox rn tbh babes Janis: what the hell are you doing Grace: none of your business ever Janis: it's everyone's business now don't you know Grace: & that's the only reason that you care Grace: whatever I told him not to post it Janis: are you for real Janis: yeah, he tends not to listen, did you not get that memo either Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: we ALL got it, hun Janis: evidently not Grace: oh you wish Grace: he told me everything so Janis: I bet Janis: for your own sake get over how much you hate me and love yourself a bit Janis: this is pathetic, even for you Grace: get over yourself Grace: nothing I do is about you Janis: this isn't about you Janis: and you know it Janis: come on Grace, fucking hell Grace: like I said, you wish Grace: you think I'm pathetic but what's thinking everyone's obsessed with you? Janis: get a grip Janis: he's vile and this all started because I really did not wish Janis: realistic Janis: is what it is right now Grace: OMG Grace: you first Grace: suddenly you care, I think not Grace: leave me alone, I really was living for it Janis: Yeah I care that you don't make an absolute joke out of yourself Grace: welcome to my world for like years, bitch Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: whatever, I'm not engaging in this with you Janis: I would never do this, none of us would Grace: sure Grace: that's so believable Janis: you're cracked Janis: whatever we might reckon about this family you were raised to have more self-respect than this, it's bullshit Grace: ugh shut up Grace: you're so full of it Janis: full of what Grace: I'm the family disappointment all of a sudden, okay Grace: get real Janis: did I say that Janis: don't feel sorry for yourself when you're the only one who can do something about it Grace: I don't Grace: you're the one trying to make me go there Grace: it's honestly so cringe Janis: Go where Grace: oh please Grace: you're trying to make me feel bad Grace: duh Grace: it's your thing Janis: feel bad because you're letting yourself be used and for literally the most ridiculous reason Janis: yeah, I do Janis: the fact you don't is worrying Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: you should feel bad that you're thinking so much about him when you literally have a boyfriend Grace: but sure keeping telling yourself it's about you though, babes Grace: bet the barista loves that Janis: thinking so much about him? Janis: fuck you he literally publically shamed me, not to mention the fact he lied Janis: it is about me, no matter how many times you tell yourself otherwise Grace: he shouldn't have posted the pic, he feels bad about it Grace: & he got beat up so it's not like he hasn't suffered Grace: it's gone now Grace: obvs it's shaming when lads out you Grace: but not my fault or my problem Janis: no he doesn't, Grace Janis: and shames me for what? I haven't done anything wrong Janis: it's fucked he'd do it even if I had done what he claimed but I literally haven't so that's 10x worse than it already was Grace: whatever you say, babes Grace: literally didn't ask Grace: keep your protests for your man Janis: fuck this Janis: go ahead, they're already laughing so why not Grace: thanks so much Grace: didn't need your permission though, never have Janis: yeah, you're really showing me Janis: that's what it is then, yeah Janis: think I actually like him 💔 Grace: It couldn't be less about you Grace: & I know you don't like him Grace: I'm not that stupid Janis: as I said, not about you so Janis: give him all the attention 'cos I ain't rising to it Grace: I meant what I'm doing isn't about you, bitch Grace: not thinking about you at all rn Grace: sorry about it Janis: devestating Janis: I don't care, Grace Janis: sort yourself out, that's all I'm interested in Grace: obvs Grace: keep away from me, that's all I'm interested in Grace: there's no need for us to be having this convo Grace: or any Janis: there's every need Grace: no Grace: there isn't Janis: yes, there is Janis: this is fucked and you're a mess Grace: according to you that's me true to form Grace: so like I said, stop wasting your time & mine Janis: no Grace: ugh Grace: just go away Janis: again Janis: no Grace: what are you even trying to do? Grace: other than cluttering up my inbox just like before Janis: knock some sense into you Janis: everyone is laughing at you, Grace Janis: do you want me to send you the screenshots, and this is after one stupid picture Grace: yeah obvs I want that Grace: don't be stupid Janis: you need to know Janis: imagine how bad it's going to be at School Janis: it isn't worth it Grace: like I don't Grace: like it isn't really bad at school anyway Janis: so you need to make it worse Janis: hand them more ammunition Grace: I already told you, I told him not to post the pic, okay Grace: god Janis: why did you even talk to him Janis: never mind go meet him Grace: to get him to take the picture of you down, duh Grace: but then he talked to me so Janis: and told you what you want to hear Janis: you aren't an idiot, you know it's not true Grace: am I not? since when Grace: that's all I am to you Grace: you're the one telling me what you think I wanna hear rn Janis: this isn't about what's been said between us Janis: you know it isn't Janis: it's not real Grace: this is the first time you've spoken to me since then Grace: you don't get to go back on it like that Grace: that's not real Janis: you haven't spoken to me either Janis: it can all stand if you want, I told you, I don't care Janis: I told you, this isn't about you and me Grace: why do you think I haven't spoken to you, babes Grace: you don't care Grace: acting like you do so you can get what you want isn't gonna work Grace: awks I know Janis: what I want Janis: I have nothing to gain from this Janis: it's you that'll lose everyone's respect, never mind your own Grace: then literally stop talking to me about it OMG Grace: I can't lose what I never had, can I, hun? So whatever Janis: no Janis: come on, that shit matters to you Grace: you have no idea what matters to me Janis: and this is it, is it Janis: not your family or friends, your youtube, nothing like that Janis: this random dickhead who wants to fuck me Janis: that's the hill to live and die on Janis: very convincing Grace: he only wants to cos you won't Grace: if I turned down lads for that there'd be nobody left Janis: you could turn down lads for not having a shred of decency Grace: then who's left? Grace: your boyfriend Janis: plenty of lads Janis: they don't have to be perfect or the love of your life or anything reaching Janis: but you don't have to settle for being part of some stupid fucked up attention grab Grace: stop Janis: you need to hear this Grace: I don't need anything from you Grace: & I don't want to talk to you Janis: I don't care and it isn't from me Janis: it's facts, the truth Janis: you don't get to ignore it, you can't Grace: OMG Grace: I can't keep telling you that I can literally do whatever I want Grace: get over it Janis: why do you want to do this then Grace: why would I ever tell you Janis: you don't need to, I know why Janis: ask yourself, think about it Grace: sure Janis: just sort it out Janis: alright Grace: just leave me alone Grace: go back to that Janis: whatever you want Grace: 👌👌👌 Grace: bye Janis: later Janis: [after the tattoo] Janis: get your friendship goals touched up whilst you were there too? Grace: obvs Grace: try to be home as little as possible ever duh Janis: sure Janis: if you're gonna make everyone as uncomfortable as you made Igs then probably for the best rn isn't it Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: you're the only allowed to be OTT with your PDA in the kitchen, I know Janis: yeah, 'cos Iggy is such a prude Janis: more the fact your 'boyfriend' is a horrible person with no respect for you Janis: so yeah, that was nice, put him in that position 'cos you know Mum would never sign off on that Grace: there's no respect for me anywhere Grace: soooo tragic Grace: ugh, get a hobby babes Grace: he offered when Harry got all highkey about my touch up Grace: there was no drama Janis: you first Janis: namely one that doesn't include permanently scarring your body for people who don't care about you Janis: there is drama, you ain't here Grace: & now you care Grace: cos its my drama Grace: you couldn't care less about the amount you caused when you left Grace: honestly such a hypocrite Janis: I still don't Janis: it's you that does Janis: or has always claimed to Janis: so you'll be wanting to fix this Grace: mum knows how to get a hold of me if she wants to go off Grace: be even more hypocritical than you but anyways Janis: none of them want to go off on you Janis: much as that would vindicate you, clearly Janis: they're just really sad for you Grace: sure Grace: excuse me if I don't rush home for that Janis: you love a pity party Janis: and it's all for you, no sharing Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: well I'm busy so Janis: no you ain't Grace: rude Grace: & untrue Janis: you never are these days Janis: aimless Janis: again, sad Grace: go ahead & cry about it if you want, babes Janis: she already has, like Grace: stop trying to guilt me Grace: you're the literal worst Janis: it's nothing but the truth Grace: oh sure Grace: there's nothing to cry about Grace: unlike when you disappeared Janis: yeah, probably have that talk with ma Janis: she disagrees Janis: Ri's here, sure she'll bullet point their stance for you Grace: like I said, they know how to get hold of me Janis: do they Janis: 'cos it ain't connecting, is it Grace: ugh Grace: stop talking Janis: ugh Janis: start listening Janis: and thinking Grace: listening to what? Grace: everyone thinking I'm so stupid & so tragic Grace: why would I? Janis: reason, for one Grace: no thanks Janis: not an option Grace: you don't get to tell me my options so Janis: yeah, I do Janis: unless you're clinically braindead, it isn't an option Janis: again, just facts Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what is it Janis: not got enough attention yet Grace: I've had enough of yours Grace: but you never take the hint do you Janis: nah Janis: you ain't though Janis: you do know he's still messaging me, yeah Grace: how would I know that? Grace: I'm not going through his phone Grace: stalk much Janis: you should be Janis: highly doubt I'm the only one Janis: might want to check your friends whilst you're at it Janis: [screenshots 'cos duh] Grace: thanks yeah Janis: 👍 just doing my bit Grace: v appreciated obvs Janis: know it's not a shock but Janis: you going to dump him when you find out he's physically cheating too or is that all chill too Grace: but you had your �� like Grace: so sorry I'm not 💔 Janis: yeah Janis: wouldn't hate snapping you out of this shit Grace: well I would so Janis: fairytale, is it? Janis: your family pitying you and worried to death, your friends all laughing behind your back whilst contemplating letting him get them on theirs Janis: the Gracie dream, yeah Janis: show me how right I had you pegged when I said all that shit I shouldn't have Janis: that's winning Grace: for you & the barista sure thing 💘💘💘 Grace: I don't get one Grace: & defs not with him Grace: so the fam can be as extra as they want & the girls can be as slaggy as they want Janis: this is self-imposed Janis: the martyr look doesn't suit Grace: IKR Grace: I'm exactly where I wanna be, babes Janis: no, you're not Janis: and no one is buying it Janis: not him Janis: not you Grace: it was his idea to get the tat not mine so Grace: he's obvs hating every moment Janis: nah, he's loving it Janis: the more needy he can make you look, the more points he gets Grace: good luck to the boy Janis: are you joking Janis: obviously Janis: you're aware how pathetic you look because you're doing it on purpose Janis: every post Janis: reading like satire but your audience don't know what that means Grace: sure Grace: this is literally so boring Grace: just make your point so someone else can have their turn Janis: ooh to have an inbox full of #concern Janis: keep it up Janis: might earn the intervention they never bothered having for edie Janis: that'll be nice for everyone Grace: 🤞🤞 Grace: I'll stop short of running away or trying meth though, obvs Janis: nothing #obvs about it Janis: more like her with every new boy and new ink Janis: it's uncanny, really Grace: oh please Janis: I mean it Grace: yeah, you always do Janis: what, you think you're better than her now? Grace: why can't I? you think you're better than me Grace: you didn't fuck him, well done Grace: I did & it was pretty good actually so Janis: fuck who you like Janis: don't marry them and let them treat you like shit for the world to see Grace: I wasn't planning on it but thanks for the tips Janis: you already are Janis: say to little too late but you were warned Grace: get a grip Grace: I am not Grace: we hang out & hook up it's not that deep Janis: you get matching tattoos and wax on about how goals he is like you've got something to prove Janis: not that deep Janis: you're exactly like her Janis: maybe that's what it is Janis: nice to fit in with the 'I don't fit in' crowd, yeah Janis: interesting Grace: OMG I told you that was his idea Grace: & it's how people talk Grace: I'm not like her Grace: shut up Janis: and you therefore HAD to do it Janis: you know, reckon Da's probably a bit TOO nice Janis: can still make a case for why it's okay to have all these daddy issues Janis: the real #goals Grace: seriously STOP it Janis: you Grace: it's not about dad or you or Edie Grace: god Grace: why does it have to be about everyone else Janis: that's what I'm telling you Janis: it's all about you Grace: then stop talking about them Grace: you said that you never get to have anything, that you just wanted one thing Grace: him Grace: why can't I? Grace: why can't I just do something cos I want to Janis: 'cos it's a fucked thing to want Janis: Eds really wanted to do meth and whatever she wanted all the time and guess what Janis: they all let her and she ended up fucked up and then dead Janis: family doesn't let family do that Grace: like you said, they did Janis: like I've said, they were bad parents Janis: I reckon they still are but you can disagree Grace: & you're a bad sister Grace: so am I Janis: Undoubtedly Grace: literally then what does it matter Grace: we're not a family Janis: we are Janis: like it or not Grace: no, we're not Grace: it's too late to act like it now Grace: & you're not a part of it even if we all did Janis: you ain't dead yet Janis: and I am, sorry Grace: I fucking thought you were Grace: do you know that Janis: how would I Janis: you've not spoken to me Grace: cos I can't Janis: you haven't tried Grace: bitch I've tried for years Grace: you don't want to be my sister Grace: you don't even want to be in the same room as me Janis: as I said, we unavoidably are Grace: that literally makes it worse not better Janis: do you want me to apologize for being born? Grace: I want you to stop being such a bitch all the time but it's obvs not ever happening Janis: so you do Janis: alright Janis: I'm really sorry for being born, Grace Grace: apology not accepted, babes Grace: you weren't born like this Janis: neither were you Janis: but I'm not asking you to be sorry Janis: just do better Grace: ugh here we go Grace: every convo is about how much I need to change or do better Grace: you think mum and dad are shit, doesn't mean you have to do their job, hun Janis: clearly, it does Janis: and this one, and most of them actually, is about how you need to not let people treat you like shit Grace: sure Grace: except when it's you Grace: that just needs to happen Janis: can't pick your family Janis: you treat me just as bad Janis: but as I said, don't care if we never talk again Grace: I literally do not Grace: but whatever, if you don't care, go away Grace: I'm not doing this with you, I told you before Janis: sort it out and I will Grace: there's nothing to sort out Janis: not true Grace: true as far as what you want me to do Janis: no Grace: I'm too busy for this Janis: still no Grace: just shut up OMG Janis: no Grace: Janis, seriously Grace: talking to you is like Gus & Diego on their worst days Grace: stop Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: You're the one who doesn't seem to grasp the point here Janis: no Janis: non Janis: nein Janis: nyet Janis: etc Grace: grow up Janis: see above Grace: fine I'll mute you again Grace: have fun Grace: go off Janis: aw Janis: grow up Grace: I'm not the one being childish af Grace: you wish Janis: better than what you are being Janis: so yeah Grace: I'm so sure Grace: whatever Grace: like I said, have fun being ignored Janis: from what you reckon, I won't Janis: but you already knew that Grace: from what everyone reckons, you don't care Grace: you included Grace: honestly over it Grace: that's why I haven't tried Grace: you're literally exhausting Grace: get more back from a convo with any of the cats Janis: Nah, you aren't trying because you don't wanna hear this Janis: at least be honest Grace: I don't wanna hear every mean thought that you have about me Grace: I'm not trying cos you're such a bitch Janis: I've not said anything mean about you this entire time Grace: comparing me to her is a horrible thing to do Janis: only because you think she was a bad person or something Grace: yeah I do Janis: how's that working out for you Janis: we're all so horrible and mean and wrong Janis: does it help Janis: don't think so Grace: obvs not Grace: but she still was & you still are Janis: and what does that make you then Grace: I'm the worse, duh Grace: you've already listed all my flaws off enough times babe Grace: can't not listen to that Janis: so, you are like her Janis: what's the problem Grace: according to you yeah Janis: according to yourself Janis: sit here and tell me you think any differently Janis: if you did you wouldn't let him treat you like this, or them, and then we wouldn't need to have this conversation Grace: Not liking myself doesn't make me her, she doesn't own it Janis: like her Janis: and yes it does Grace: no it doesn't Grace: it's different Janis: how? Grace: it's not about dad for me, for one thing Grace: & my boyfriend is nothing like any of hers Grace: he's not even my boyfriend anyway Janis: what difference does that make Janis: it's all excuses Janis: she didn't like herself and looked in all the wrong places for validation Janis: you do exactly the same Grace: whatever Grace: you've got your heart set on us being so alike, enjoy it babes Janis: no Janis: like I said Janis: it's really sad Grace: not for you, you don't have any feelings about anything ever Grace: just your barista boyfriend Grace: so leave me alone Janis: yeah? Janis: if that makes you feel better, have it on me Grace: it literally makes me feel worse Grace: every time I try & talk to you for you just to say you don't care Grace: but that's how it is, babes so Janis: like I said, you aren't dense Janis: so don't act like you reckon I'd be bothering if I didn't care Grace: you don't care about me Grace: it's not about me, yeah? Grace: I'm so cringe that's as far as you're bothered Grace: Mum's so sad & Rio's actually shown her face for the first time since when Janis: Jesus Janis: firstly, no one BUT you is describing anything as cringe, ever Janis: and secondly, yeah Janis: give a shit about them if you don't me Grace: I do Grace: It was me there when you left & mum and dad were freaking out Grace: taking all the blame for being a bitch so they don't have to hear that you couldn't care less how they feel ever Grace: & you don't wanna be here Janis: so Janis: come sort this then Grace: how Grace: I can't wash the tattoo off Janis: tell them you'll stop seeing him and then do it Janis: for a start Janis: it ain't that deep so what do you care Janis: you care about them, don't you? Janis: prove it Grace: you know what he's like Grace: I can't just stop Grace: he could do worse to me than he's ever done to you Janis: he won't Grace: I don't have another boy waiting to beat him up for me Janis: I'll do it Grace: UM be serious Janis: I am Grace: I would actually have to die Grace: like I need you to fight my battles for me Janis: okay then do it yourself Janis: you don't need a lad to Janis: he's a pussy Grace: you don't Grace: I do Grace: I can't fight anyone Janis: he's not that much of a cunt, he's not gonna fight back Grace: OMG stop I'm not fighting him Grace: this is stupid Janis: I will then Janis: you can't stop me anyways so Grace: can you not Grace: literally just don't Janis: then don't let it come to that Janis: you're not staying because you know what he's like, that's insanity Grace: like its not insanity to dump someone the day you get a matching tattoo with them Grace: okay sure Janis: that's gonna be insanity no matter when you do it Janis: it looks stupid if you get divorced after 25 years Grace: ugh Grace: I'll just stay until he cheats on me then Janis: no that's worse Janis: can't you put one of your friends to use Janis: honeytrap him Janis: they get to pretend to be a decent friend, you have an excuse and you don't look like a fool because you were in on it Grace: okay that's actually not a bad idea Janis: thank you Janis: you have my screenshots so you don't even look paranoid Janis: he isn't subtle or slick so Grace: did he say anything about me? Janis: it doesn't matter what he said, or says Janis: it's all just a game to him, isn't it Grace: you've said everything else you think I need to hear Grace: just tell me, okay Janis: he was just Janis: you know, what you'd expect he'd think I wanted to hear Janis: he's an idiot Grace: duh he obvs slagged me off but what did he say Grace: I need to know Janis: okay Janis: mainly how he was just doing it to make me jealous back and Janis: for an excuse to be around me still Janis: talk about pathetic lengths to go to Janis: but that's the fun for boys like that ain't it, the chase Janis: like you said, if and once I did it we'd both be out so Janis: don't worry about it, like Grace: ew Grace: dad made him dinner and everything that's so rude Grace: did he say I was a crap shag cos that's really not true Grace: & I will have to fight him when I'm done dying Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm sorry but Janis: priorities Grace: did he though Grace: it's more important Grace: I already know he wants to hook up with you, that's not news Grace: !!! Janis: 'course he did Janis: anything to get my pants off Janis: it was almost funny how hard he was trying Grace: I'm not laughing but you do you, babe Janis: well no Janis: who knows what he meant or didn't Janis: it's all bollocks Grace: that he's gonna tell everyone & they are gonna believe Grace: he's a player & I'm a slut it doesn't matter what I do Janis: he won't Janis: 'cause you're gonna catch him out so he's just a cheater then Janis: can't defend that and tear you down Grace: but who am I even gonna ask to do this Grace: literally kill me before I ask Mia Grace: I'm actually gonna be sick thinking about it Janis: definitely not Mia Janis: take the assignment too serious and bae him herself Janis: you need him gone not on the guest list Janis: who's the least shit Grace: she can have him & his shit tattoo ideas Grace: but yeah I'll figure it out Janis: get Sophie to do it Janis: she would and wouldn't be a sly bitch about it either Grace: do you think she would, like seriously? Janis: 'course Grace: ugh okay Grace: do you want me to add you to the convo? it was your idea Janis: that's alright, you've got this Janis: just make him look like the shit he is Grace: duh Grace: thanks Grace: for like Grace: thinking of something Janis: been known to happen sometimes Janis: don't mention it Grace: I really did start talking to him to try & get him to take the picture down Grace: that wasn't a lie Janis: it's alright Janis: you aren't the only one who believed him Janis: I did mess around with him for quite a while Janis: but not as far as he said and not since Jim so Grace: well duh he does have some uses obvs Grace: if he was this cocky with nothing going on nobody would go there Grace: I knew you'd never cheat on barista boy it's ridiculous how much you're into him Grace: just like I knew you were a virgin, excuse you Janis: not good enough to warrant how much of a prick he is Janis: okay, we're done talking about that now Grace: boys are Grace: that's just 99% Grace: if I'd waited for the 1% like you, I'd still be Janis: stop tarring all lads with that brush when you only ever go for that one type Janis: you act like that's such a tragedy, we're 15, over half our year still is Janis: it ain't the norm to be in double digits like Mia Grace: cos I know where I am with that type thank you Grace: & if I have to tell you how good sex is, you're doing it wrong, babes Janis: 🙄 Janis: you could go fuck yourself, literally Janis: like I said, he ain't that good Grace: that's so pre-teen Grace: but if the choice is him or going back to that then sure Janis: yeah no one over the age of 12 wanks Grace: I'm just saying, it's more fun with someone else Grace: you're lying if you disagree Janis: depends on the person Grace: maybe I'm just bored of myself Grace: idk Janis: yeah Janis: well good luck Grace: thanks Grace: I better go home before I do anything 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: joy of joys Janis: least you have something to tell them Grace: did she really cry or did you just wanna hurt me Janis: she did Janis: but it's just about all of us really Janis: like you said, we're not a family anymore Grace: can you remember if we ever were? Grace: I don't think I can Grace: genuinely Grace: not trying to be a bitch Janis: yeah Janis: 'course Grace: ugh obvs he wants to come home with me Grace: please tell him you aren't there 🙄 Janis: are you serious Janis: god Grace: duh Grace: I've been at his this whole time Janis: how have you managed that Grace: not as stupid as you think Grace: & it's not like planned to dump him today so Janis: yeah but are you a psycho how have you sat there with him after hearing all that Grace: I obvs made him go out and get... I can't even remember what now Grace: when you wouldn't take I'm busy for an answer Janis: good Grace: except now he's back Grace: call me & pretend to be mum Grace: you love shouting at me Janis: alright 👍 Grace: thank god boys never notice literally anything Janis: he's quite thick Janis: too many rugby balls to the head Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: is he actually any good? Grace: you'd know Janis: yeah Janis: ain't gonna play for the country or nothing but could probably cruise through a shit uni with it Janis: that's the plan, obvs Grace: Bitch you could've lied! Grace: 💔 Janis: 🙄 Janis: it doesn't make him a good boyfriend Grace: yeah but I'm not going to uni, am I? Janis: you could Janis: do you want to Grace: oh please Grace: I'd never get in Janis: 'course you could Janis: not saying you try for Oxford or nothing Grace: just not that smart, babes Grace: get over it Grace: I don't get to be like Edie that way Janis: okay, will do Janis: pick up your phone Grace: [does] Grace: 👌 v convincing Grace: I'm out Janis: 👍 stuff Janis: you're welcome Grace: IOU Janis: if you wanna, just be happy to see the back of him Grace: whatever Grace: your choice, hun Janis: no doubt if I think of something worth it I'll remember this Grace: sure Janis: talked to Soph yet? Grace: she'll do it Grace: she just got back to me Janis: no doubt be really into that if he realizes we're related Janis: ugh Grace: ew Grace: but yeah Grace: & she's a virgin too so Janis: doublepoints Grace: catch me wishing I was gay again Grace: ugh Janis: true enough, girls aren't as interested in virgins Janis: give you that Grace: boys are OBSESSED Grace: it's so stupid Janis: hoping inexperience covers insecurity in skill Grace: there's literally nothing hot about the freak outs I had when the first few times, sorry about it, boys Grace: but you do you Janis: were you really that scared Grace: duh Grace: I still get them now Grace: I'm just better at hiding it thank god Janis: why Janis: I mean Janis: what freaks you out so so much Grace: I told you, boys are the WORST Grace: they want you to look, sound & feel like a porn star all the time Grace: it's a lot Janis: I've seen the lads you've slept with Janis: they ain't putting in or needing that much effort in return Grace: they don't have to Grace: who's judging them Grace: they get patted on the back just for hooking up Janis: you Janis: there's only you and them actually there during Janis: presumably Janis: why should they not try and impress you too Grace: cos if they disappoint me, they'll try again with someone else Grace: & so will I Janis: exactly, nothing lost Grace: I wish Grace: how they rate me can lose me plenty Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what about how you rate them, like you said Janis: no one is going there if you get that rep Grace: it's not the same Grace: cos I can be clingy or desperate or a slut or anything else negative they want to cancel out what I might say Janis: idk why you're sleeping with dickheads like that Grace: like I said, I know where I am with them Grace: what they want from me & what they don't Janis: doesn't sound very good Grace: it is what it is Janis: but if its shit and it freaks you out ??? Grace: you told me not to tar them all the same so Grace: it depends on the boy Grace: & me freaking out depends on me Grace: it's like shopping or filming or school or whatever Janis: alright then Janis: guess so Grace: if I'm not #feelingmyself 🙄 then I'm not Grace: can't shade the boys for it Janis: yeah but not gonna sit here and saint 'em unduly either Grace: 😂😂 literally don't Grace: exes for a reason, babes Janis: mhmm Janis: how do you Janis: he's not even a proper ex and it makes my skin crawl that I ever Janis: ugh Grace: like you said, I don't get to martyr myself Janis: but it's Grace: ?? Janis: I wish I'd never done it Grace: obvs Grace: I wish I'd never done him either Grace: at least you didn't Janis: you didn't waste much time though Janis: it must've been years Grace: we hooked up a lot though Grace: & I'm not getting any of my time back Janis: didn't need to know Grace: 🤷 Janis: gross Grace: DUH Grace: I literally wanna throw myself in traffic Janis: probably don't Janis: you want Ma to stop crying, remember Grace: IKR Grace: so unfair Grace: but sure I'll 😭😭😭 instead Grace: it's chill Janis: not over him Janis: you didn't like him did you Grace: ew no Grace: I'm not crying over him Grace: just me Janis: I guess you know where you stand with that too Grace: mhmm Grace: the white girl tattoo is a new thing to devastate me though Janis: at least it ain't your first Janis: or his name or something Janis: then you really would have to die Grace: OMG DON'T 😱😱😱 Grace: he'd have never let me though Grace: not that into me Janis: shoulda faked that Janis: he'd have shat himself Grace: now you tell me Grace: 💔💔 too little too late bitch Janis: nah, you could defs amp it up whilst soph is working on him Grace: true Janis: 😂 instead of 😭 Grace: already did the 😭 but sure Grace: let's pretend I didn't Grace: he didn't see it so it didn't happen Janis: I didn't either so Janis: no harm no foul Grace: 👌👌 Grace: are you gonna beat me up cos you don't get to hit him or? Janis: I can still hit him, unrelated to this Janis: he still fucked me over Janis: tried to Grace: yeah Grace: but it has been a while now babes Grace: not saying get over it but like Grace: maybe don't just randomly hit him?? Janis: we'll see Grace: how do you Grace: like I could never hit him Janis: it ain't that hard, I promise Janis: make a fist, and swing, try not to break your hand 'cos that'd be embarrassing Grace: or a nail OMG he's not worth that thanks Grace: & okay but hit him hard though, if you're going to Janis: 😏 Janis: 'course, not planning on tickling him Grace: or letting your boyfriend do it better, duh Grace: I know Janis: look, I can't help being so hard, alright Grace: 😂😂 Janis: do you reckon he'll get the hint this time Grace: maybe when you fight him Janis: yeah Janis: 'cos don't need to hide on the coach every time we have to play their school really Janis: or have all the girls from this school 🔪🔪🔪 Grace: get a restraining order, what else is Buster even good for tbh Janis: 😂😂 Janis: bring it up with Ri when you talk to her, yeah? Grace: oh god Grace: do you think she'll still be there Grace: actually worse than mum Janis: she ain't leaving, she's on one about this tattoo Janis: which is hypocritical but I probably wouldn't start with pointing that out Grace: I won't mention his name on her, like Grace: we get it you're 💍 Janis: you know she won't hear it Janis: they're special, can do what they like Janis: namely each other Grace: gross Grace: I won't point out that I also didn't do it the night we met, mum & dad Grace: you were at school together sure that does not count Janis: 🙄 Janis: and you wanna say I weren't born like this Janis: mess 'fore any of us got here Janis: no hope, babe Grace: I'll use that for my excuse when Ri starts then, yeah? Grace: just come & kill me thanks Janis: she's lucky her kids don't have webbed feet so Janis: bigger problems Janis: get some perspective, sis Janis: definitely traumatizing how often we all heard and saw 'em so kinda her fault, why not eh Grace: is that a thing? 😱😱😱 little like 🦆 babies Grace: awkward Janis: mhmm Janis: all sorts can go wrong Janis: its why the royal family look so weird, they're inbred as fuck Grace: I hate this family so much Grace: ugh Grace: & why do we have to live so far away Grace: just trying to get home OMG Janis: same, I been preaching since day 1 Janis: free house, tah gus snr Grace: 🙏🙏 okay you can be right about it if you hush Grace: v annoying Grace: having good ideas & not being wrong Grace: ew Janis: I know Janis: good at everything and you hate me for it, I remember it's all good Grace: yeah Grace: I'm sorry for the girl code violation though Grace: sooooooo rude Janis: least I didn't actually like him Janis: have to flagellate yourself or something Grace: that'd be okay, Mia takes boys I like all the time Grace: what he did to you was like Grace: & it makes what I did worse so Janis: she just needs to drink their blood, probably nothing personal Janis: and you know, you hate me, got no reason to stick to girl code when you don't for your besties even Grace: but I don't wanna be a bad sister Grace: or like her Grace: even if I do hate you Grace: cos I do stick to girl code, it's Mia who doesn't cos she believes she's a law onto herself Janis: be a good one then, if you must Janis: the others will probably appreciate, I'll try to keep complaints to a minimum Grace: what's that for you though, like don't fuck your boyfriend or straighten your hair? idk Janis: neither of those are ever happening so Janis: yeah Janis: how straightforward is that Janis: you're welcome Grace: thanks so much Grace: good talk, babes Grace: you're okay, you & him Janis: 👍 Janis: leave us the review, some people still don't believe it Grace: I mean, are you? Grace: that wouldn't be my review & you know it, bitch Janis: bit rude Janis: 'course, why wouldn't we be Grace: cos an obsessive fuckboy is literally still in your inbox daily? Grace: just maybe Janis: not like I sit there and chat w him Janis: just tell him to fuck off, more or less Grace: 👌👌 Grace: it'd just be the worst if he'd ruined it, that's all I'm saying Janis: no chance Janis: like you said, been a while Janis: and Jim always believed me so Grace: how is he so cute & so not also a twat Grace: literally never happens Janis: I dunno Janis: he's a bit of a twat Janis: works 'cos I'm such a bitch Grace: oh & I'm a worst bitch so I attract worst twats OMG Grace: I've solved it Grace: maybe I'm not thick Janis: maybe Janis: pretty solid theory Grace: won't get me into uni but still yay Janis: I mean it's just Newton's third law but in relationships, init, don't think you're getting that past plagiarism as your own Grace: but is there any way I can hit up one of my exes tonight & get it past Harry? Grace: you're full of good ideas Janis: say you want a threesome and then make him watch from the wardrobe Janis: idk Grace: sadly none of my exes are girls so I don't think he'd be into it Janis: leave that bit out Grace: also lowkey don't want him to watch me or look at me ever again but Janis: shouldn't be hard actually though Janis: just pie him off and have someone else 'round Janis: you have so much homework, you got your period etc he's not gonna insist Grace: the period thing always works Grace: but it's more can any of my exes keep me off snapchat cos he didn't & that worked out SO great Janis: unless he's that dirty of a bastard and that's an awkward way to find out Janis: oh to be a teenage boy who needs to prove he's getting laid Janis: can't you hookup with a random instead Janis: what the apps are for Grace: I'm trying to feel better not worse Grace: that's just asking for me to freakout Janis: hmm Janis: glory hole it is then Grace: you're so gross Grace: & weird Janis: it's been said Janis: by you, a lot Janis: could keep the pillow over your face but fucked yourself with the tats haven't you Grace: STOP Janis: I'm brainstorming Grace: can you not in your head? Grace: & I'm the dumb one okay Janis: just getting your input, babe Janis: surely one of your exes can keep a secret Grace: I'm 🤔🤔 Grace: but when they're all lowkey or highkey versions of the same boy well Janis: oh lord Janis: just have a wank okay Janis: so much easier Grace: yeah really wanna be alone with myself Grace: love that Janis: sure you and your mates don't circle jerk Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: like no Mia YOU look most like you're dying Grace: shut up Janis: 😩🍆👌😩 Grace: I hate you Janis: yeah Janis: I know Grace: how did I get here? Grace: & I don't mean this bus stop which is a hell of its own making Grace: ugh Janis: shit happens Grace: I'm so calling one of my intervention team to come get me Grace: public transport brings out my acne Janis: may as well Janis: use the attention to your advantage Grace: is dad there? Grace: he'll do it Janis: yeah Janis: can ask him if you want Grace: sure Grace: but why are you there? Grace: you never are Janis: oh yeah, he's actually left me and taken the kids Janis: got to move back in disgraced Grace: v hilarious babes Janis: glad my tragedy got you like that Janis: just happen to be about Grace: is your boyfriend Grace: cos if he witnesses my lecture Grace: how embarrassing Janis: he's seen the post babe Janis: damage done Janis: but won't let him watch, don't worry Grace: but he hasn't heard Ri moming me & being soooo disappointed Janis: we're in my room, you know,not thick enough or a total virgin, to let him 'round her Janis: rule #1 Grace: ugh truly Grace: mum's bad enough Grace: I fucking hate yoga okay Janis: may as well be cracking out the kama sutra on the lawn Janis: it's not sneaky, ma Janis: we get it, you've got 10 kids, you get laid Grace: & you still look good somehow 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: all the fucking obvs Grace: when I have a kid there's no way I'm springing back Grace: I don't go to the gym for like a day & it's like I was never there Janis: let yourself go, way God intended Grace: maybe I will now Grace: then he'll dump me I don't have to get Soph involved Janis: we'd have to put a feeding tube down your throat for them kinda results Janis: effort Grace: oh please Janis: what, how else you getting fat overnight Grace: like I don't know how to binge Grace: get real Janis: you aren't gonna eat 15lbs worth of chocolate in a night Janis: you'd go into a coma before you got fat, sadly Grace: it doesn't have to be overnight, the period excuse is good for days Grace: I've used it more often than I really get mine Janis: you also wanna get laid in that time Janis: you gonna make your ex stop off at maccies on the way 'round Grace: we already worked out my exes are a no-go Grace: unless I wanna be the cheater Janis: 👎 Janis: just stick with the burgers, like Janis: dependable Grace: obvs Janis: get us some nuggets Grace: you're making me hungry rn don't Grace: 😱😱😱 Janis: eat up Janis: got loads to put on Grace: ughhhhhhh Grace: as if Mia isn't gonna be enough of a bitch about this Grace: no thanks Janis: when is she not Janis: be a bitch about you wearing a different shade of lipstick so Grace: mhmm Grace: but obvs she like LOVES me & him as a couple Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: duh Janis: she couldn't have masterminded it better herself Janis: though she tried Grace: so over it Janis: mhmm Grace: I need to break up with her too Grace: but him first Janis: just don't keep going back to him like you do her Grace: don't keep making me hate you Janis: what? Grace: you left Grace: that's why I went back Janis: okay so it's my fault Grace: no, cos it's my fault you ran away Grace: she just knows when I feel bad idk Janis: it's her lifeblood Grace: yeah Janis: have her and the other skinny one got a death pact though actually Grace: the goal isn't death Grace: she'd actually love to live forever duh Janis: I bet they egg each other on though Grace: obvs Grace: she does that with all of us Janis: it's fucked Janis: some of the rest are bitches too but none are as bad as her Grace: that's why she's 👑 babes 🙄🙄 Janis: 🙄 Grace: I just don't eat in front of her & avoid the shade, that part's easy Janis: ever? Grace: of course ever Janis: what about sleepovers Grace: like when she's asleep maybe Janis: actual midnight snacking Janis: that's mental Grace: lowkey motivating Grace: never been so thin 🙏 Janis: fucked, is what it is Grace: not like it's the most fucked thing about being in her squad Grace: like you said, she's the WORST Grace: 🤷🤷🤷 Janis: yep Grace: & if I'm worried about what a 💔 boy could do to me Grace: it's literally nothing compared to what she could or would Janis: you know her secrets too though Grace: I'm not that bitch Grace: I don't wanna be Janis: nah but just saying Grace: that's the thing though, she knows I'm not Grace: like he does Grace: ugh Janis: sometimes you have to Grace: I can't Grace: I'm not strong like you are Janis: sometimes it's the right thing to do Janis: don't have to smack her down Janis: though it would be class Grace: you know what I mean Janis: yeah Janis: where does it end Janis: what's your limit Janis: she can't cheat on you but she's done much worse already Grace: maybe I don't have one idk Grace: too done with myself Grace: it's not like I don't deserve friends like that so Janis: no one deserves friends like that Janis: they aren't even friends it's a stupid thing to call them Grace: I'm not calling them frenemies or whatever Grace: I'm not 12 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: it's just shorthand anyway, like I call him bae but he isn't Grace: they're my boyfriend but none of them are, same difference Janis: call 'em what they are Janis: cunts Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: right, Dad is en-route, had to finish whatever the fuck he was making as per Grace: sure Grace: at least I can have some Janis: probably made Ri's fave 'cos he's blatant Grace: well duh Grace: does he even know what our faves are? 🤔🤔 hmmm? see you dad Janis: tbf you ain't eating and when you do it's gotta be #whitegirlsafe so Janis: pains him greatly, I'm sure 😏 Grace: UM excuse you no Grace: that's just how I drink Grace: & I can't help that okay Janis: 😂 Grace: maybe I'll just strut in & start making cocktails Grace: that's a mood Janis: yeah 'cos Ri ain't gonna take over and show-off her skills on that one too Grace: distraction duh Janis: worth a shot Janis: good news anyway though Grace: has she left cos that'd be the BEST news 🙏🙏🙏 Janis: nope Janis: last I heard he was on the phone though so who knows Janis: if anyone can convince her to piss off Grace: booty call or babysitting emergency, either way, come through please Janis: 🤞 Janis: not sticking around to find out, tah Grace: he'll probably just come over & dad at me too like Grace: thanks so much boy bye Janis: 😂 Janis: like they ain't only 7 years older Janis: just 'cos you popped out kids, don't make you grown Janis: @maandpa Grace: & just cos he put a 💍 on it doesn't make you ULTIMATE GOALS Grace: ugh Janis: 🙄 Janis: shame there's no hot cousins left Janis: do it just to fuck 'em off Janis: you ain't special, lads, soz Grace: ewww Grace: I'm so sick of her & mum acting like they don't have the worst taste in men just cos they found one who stayed around OMG Grace: actually stop judging me Janis: and did dad really stick around or did you trap him 🤔🤔 Grace: truly Grace: we can all get pregnant okay Janis: I better not be able to tah Janis: not having that thing shoved up there for nowt Grace: but like technically Grace: if we weren't on all the conception on earth Janis: maybe none of us since Billie are actually his Janis: she just got way better at cheating #keepitblack Grace: maybe you're not but I literally look like avó soooooooo 🤷🤷 Grace: love what she's done for the bi stereotype though Janis: can that happen Janis: like cat litters Janis: Iggy is his clone so that's another one for him Janis: get in, boy Grace: Diego's on my team too tbh so Janis: done alright then Janis: I just look like if nan got a tan and a perm so deffo none of him to be seen Grace: 😂😂 Grace: that's why you're her fave, babes Janis: right? Janis: both such self-obsessed bitches Grace: & you just wanna hit everyone obvs Grace: loves that Janis: alright, just 'cos I said you're like Edie Janis: drag me Grace: duh Grace: never over it Janis: worked though Grace: I seriously hate you Grace: 👌👌 Grace: you also said you want me to die & I'm still here, bitch Grace: sorry about it Janis: can't win 'em all Janis: even if you're me shh don't tell Grace: literally gonna broadcast it, bye Janis: don't think peeps will believe you but never know Janis: very ready to believe I was a massive slag Grace: honey, nobody ever believes me Grace: it's fine Janis: guilty by association Grace: at least you aren't actually a massive slag Janis: 🙌🙏 Janis: still getting into heaven Grace: duh Jesus loves you, babes Grace: his foot fetish might be devastated that you aren't a slag though Janis: 💔 our lord and saviour is all in a days work for me Grace: just tell him to wait for me Grace: I've got your back, girl Janis: 👌 appreciate it Grace: 💜💜💜 Janis: you'll be glad to know we're off out so less audience 👍 Grace: 🙌🙏 Grace: are you coming back though? Janis: most likely Janis: his dad still hates me so Grace: family dinner didn't change his mind? how rude Grace: I told you to play the race card babes Janis: nah that never happened Grace: awks Grace: did he get dumped? Janis: probably Janis: I wouldn't go out with him if I were a lady of a certain age Grace: so I shouldn't hit him up tonight Grace: tragic but sure Janis: 🤢 Janis: not unless you want your daddy issues to get real Grace: OMG I don't have any Grace: stop saying it Janis: calm down 😂 Janis: you who wanna pipe Jimmy's dad all of a sudden Janis: not his winning personality, I promise you Grace: I've literally never seen him Grace: not that slaggy thank you Janis: 😏 ain't missing much Grace: & with a son like that Grace: awks Janis: Hmm Janis: I know Grace: 💔💔💔 Janis: that's the gist Janis: sure you ain't met him? Grace: men are just grown boys, babe Grace: of course I have Janis: okay you and your infinite boy wisdom 😏 Grace: ugh I wish Grace: me & my infinite boy regrets Janis: 💔 Janis: could be worse Janis: could be pregnant Grace: oh please Grace: not that stupid Janis: please don't Janis: always surrounded by fucking kids as is Grace: I'd kms before I had his baby thanks Janis: 👍 Grace: whatever Grace: I'm done thinking or talking about him Janis: sounds good to me Janis: later then yeah Grace: 👌👌 sure Grace: have fun Grace: I obvs will be living for this intervention so Grace: & I'll tell my exes you say 👋 too Janis: 'course Janis: fill in the appropriate name 'cos all the same Grace: I won't say it too highkey so they don't hit up your inbox as well Grace: v popular these days Janis: 😂 Janis: gutted Janis: such catches, each and every one Grace: mhmm Grace: why I don't need the competition from you duh Grace: already so many girls coming through Janis: yeah, and gotta hang on to Janis: kyle you dumped 3 months ago Janis: obvs Grace: exactly Grace: where are you going? pass my number out to the hottest & worst behaved, yeah? Janis: nowhere you'd be seen dead, I'm sure Janis: but you changing type now? so proud 💕 Grace: my type are everywhere, babes Grace: no need to change Grace: but ILY 💜💜 Janis: I meant they'd never been hot but Janis: backatcha ✌ out 😘 Grace: UM rude Grace: they at least had that going for them Grace: excuse you for stealing the best looking boy in our school for yourself Janis: 😂 Grace: not funny Grace: actually v offensive Janis: take it up with him Janis: not actually kidnapped him, believe it or not Grace: I've had enough rejection for one day thanks so much Janis: I mean Janis: actual rejection was ages ago really babe Grace: IS THAT MEANT TO BE COMFORTING Grace: & my exes are rn so Janis: comforting or rejecting Grace: rejecting obvs Grace: when have they ever been comforting? please Janis: damn they all actually got girlfriends rn Janis: inconsiderate Grace: not even Grace: I'm just that undesirable Janis: probably let yourself calm down first Janis: you'll be coming off batshit rn Grace: mhmm really calming going home to whatever this is Grace: dad is literally being so Grace: just drive OMG Janis: I hate it when he talks Grace: there's no english Grace: I really am getting a talk Janis: 🙄 Janis: just pretend you don't understand Janis: that really winds him up Grace: does the entire fam think this boy is the love of my life or just dad? Grace: ughhhh Janis: I mean we know his concept is a little outta whack Janis: but you did just get matching tattoos so Grace: that'll last like 6 months at most Grace: I didn't put it over my heart, did I? Janis: probably assuming the boy was meant to last at least as long then Grace: 😂😂 Grace: maybe he's forgotten which daughter I am Grace: he lasted longer than 6 days sure but Janis: only you know why but Janis: 👏 Grace: you said you know Grace: was that like a shameless lie Janis: I got my theories, duh Grace: take Em to Di, always some conspiracy with that boy Grace: *them Janis: or you could just 🗣 Grace: what does that even mean?? Janis: tell me Grace: you've got somewhere to be & so have I so Janis: 🤷 Janis: okay Grace: I'm literally talking to you now cos its this or dad Grace: no offense Janis: none taken Grace: 👌👌 Janis: we all would Grace: talk to anyone but dad Grace: yeah sure Janis: anyone is a stretch but you know Grace: not v much Grace: literally idk what to even say to him Grace: any of them Janis: what they wanna hear Grace: you make it sound so simple Janis: it is Janis: you're not with him no more Janis: you never were Janis: you were just hyperbolic on social media 'cos ?? Grace: yeah okay Grace: I can do that Janis: exactly Janis: just get off the defensive, let 'em lecture you, it'll be over quicker Grace: & if I cry Ri can't be that mad at me Grace: it's fine Janis: you'd know if that works Janis: always assumed so or why bother Grace: it works on like everyone Grace: teachers even Janis: yeah, know that Janis: skiver Grace: says you Grace: you literally never go to lessons anymore Janis: well I'm allowed, they were talking about me Janis: bit of a cheek, get your own scandals Grace: well I have now Grace: you're welcome Janis: you've piggybacked off my latest but um Janis: go off Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: 😏 Grace: can I like ask you something without you being so weird about it or? Janis: charming proposal as always Janis: but go on Grace: you said you're going nowhere I'd be seen dead which means none of them would obvs Grace: so like where can I go if I don't want them to find me Janis: and stayinghome is out of the question, yeah Grace: obvs Janis: Hmm Janis: idk Janis: any pub Janis: lbr Grace: except one 🙄🙄 I don't need nan & granddad coming at me with their opinions Janis: well no Janis: it's a big enough town, you can probably still do something you'd wanna and not see them Grace: yeah Janis: can't really do it with a place in mind, if that's what you're asking Janis: you just have to go Grace: okay Janis: but you gotta work out if away is worse 'cos tbh you'd probably have a shit time in some dive so it ain't a cure-all Grace: duh Grace: but its not as if anywhere that isn't is gonna let me in Janis: 🤷 sorry Janis: you've said many times, I don't have no hobbies Janis: probably not the erson to ask Janis: p Grace: 🤷🤷🤷 Janis: can't you just stay home Janis: do your nails, take a bath, all that shit you usually do Grace: sure Grace: but I don't want to Janis: what do you wanna do then Grace: not be alone Grace: not be me for a hot sec Grace: idk Janis: get white girl wasted then Grace: 😂😂 Grace: thanks babes Janis: well that'll do the trick Grace: lowkey already the plan but glad it's endorsed Grace: love that Janis: could be worse, could be meth Grace: if I can't handle spirits I'm not going to do well on hard drugs Grace: sorry I can't go that hard with my comparison for you Janis: 💔 Grace: v tragic Janis: truly Grace: I have to go get lectured now so you do you Janis: 👌 Janis: enjoy Grace: 👌👌

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #190

“i haven’t slept since i woke up.”

Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short. It's annoying how long ones tap when I type and such. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? Cool as shit. What are your thoughts on gun control? Don't outlaw them, but make them much harder to obtain. Have you ever had an exotic pet? Do snakes and lizards count? Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? Yes. What kind of socks do you prefer to wear? (Crew, ankle, knee, etc) Idk, the normal ones. Are you friends with anybody you didn’t like at first? I'm dating her lmao. What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Don't play it. Have you dyed your hair more than once (and different colors)? Yup. Which hair color you’ve had has been your favorite? Red or purple. Your favorite place to be aside from your home? Sara's house. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? Omg no. Did you ever sit alone at lunch in school? I did that a lot. Did random people come sit with you to try to be nice? I don't believe so. Do you know anybody who puts ketchup on their mac n cheese? Probably, and they need to be arrested. What is your least favorite beverage? Out of everything I've ever tasted, some kind of white wine. Any old home remedies you use when you’re sick? The classic sipping on ginger ale. When was the last time you wore a full face of makeup? Forever ago for a picture. Do you own an iPad? No. What’s the most hours you’ve worked in a week? N/A Do you believe in karma? No. What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? See great improvement in the health of the ozone and see the work put towards conservation beginning to show well. Do you have a difficult time relating to other’s emotions? NOPE. Have you ever bathed in a river or a lake? No. Have you ever had a dream in which you died? Yes. What was your favorite school subject when you were in middle school? Science. Do you wish vampires existed? um no the fuck At the moment what is your favorite song? I'm on a "Stressed Out" by TOP thing. Have you ever been pantsed? No. Do you keep up with pop culture? No. Did you ever like barbies? Do you currently like barbies? Not especially, but I played with them if my sis or friends wanted to. I've no interest in them now. What turns you off in the opposite sex? Everyone fancies the opposing sex??????????? That's news to me. But whatever, arrogance, for one. What kind of gum do you chew most often? Your favorite flavor? Probably uh... really idk. I don't buy it and will just take what someone offers. My fave flavor is watermelon or strawberry. What’s your favorite hit song right now? I have noooo clue what's hot rn. Well, I heard "High Hopes" by P!atD on the radio not too long ago, which I adore. Do you ever ask random questions to see people’s reactions? No. Do you like to people watch? Not particularly. Are you a very patient type of person? NO. NO. N-O. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. What’s your favorite element? (fire, water, air) Fireee. Do you have a Zwinky? IMVU? No. Have you ever had a Neopets? Yesssss, my computer addiction began there lmao. When you were younger didn’t you just love Pokemon? ADDICT. Do you currently love Pokemon? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Have you ever been to a wild party? No. How many friends do you have on Myspace? Hell if I know. Are you one of those people who get car sick? No. Have you ever gotten sea sick? No, but I've never been out on the ocean for long. Do you put on a robe when it’s cold? Don't have one. Has anyone ever told you that you & your significant other could be siblings? Have they ever assumed you were siblings? Mom's called us twins like a million times. Idk if anyone's assumed that. Have you ever attempted origami? Are you good at it? Do you enjoy it? What’s your favorite origami to make? No. Are you more likely to like someone before you really know them, or do you feel you like them more after you know a lot about them? Hmmmm, I suppose this depends on what I learn about the person. Do you buy people cards on special occasions, or do you prefer to make your own? WELP I don't make my own money and tbh I'm too much of a lazy shit to make them. Don’t you hate when people say that you & them should get together, but they don’t even make the effort to? I can't speak here, I do it too. Social anxiety holds me back from trying to plan things. Where on your body was the last cramp you had? Why did you have this cramp? Uhhhh probably my lower abdomen because female with a sadly operating uterus. Do you get embarrassed when people hear you sing/compliment you on your singing ability? If so, why is that? YES. Idk why. Do you own one of those singing fish? Do you think they are silly or funny? No, but they make me chuckle now bc of that video of a broken one channeling Satan. Have you ever caught someone stealing from you? Did you confront them? No. When was the last time you prepared extensively for something? Did your preparation pay off? Ha, first trip to Sara's... I WAY overpacked. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher/professor? Did you act on your feelings? No. Have you ever experienced culture shock? Not seriously. Going to Illinois, Chicago in specific, was incredibly different for me, but I wouldn't classify it as "shock." How did you discover your greatest passion? Y'know I'm not even totally sure what my greatest one is. Do you believe that all art is political? No????? Have you ever had a conversation with a cab driver? Never even been in a cab. Do you have any shirts from vacation/tourist locations? Not anymore. Do you know anyone who has never read the HP books? Who? *cautiously raises hand* Do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? Doesn't have one. Our mall is literal shit. If you lost the use of your limbs, would you still want to live? NOPE please fucking kill me. Not even an exaggeration. What’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? M-M-M-Mark. :') Though odds are I'd be shy talking about him because I am quite obviously not just a "yeah he's cool" fan okay I get self-conscious. What is your least favorite topic to discuss? Economics. What is your opinion on psychics? Real, or fake? Fake. How would you rank your “class participation” in school? Normal? I asked questions if I really needed help, I'd sometimes answer questions or help read aloud, stuff like that. Have you ever cut your own hair? How about anyone else’s? No to both. What is the last thing you asked your parents to purchase for you? Fast food lunch. What is your favorite kind of lunch meat? Ham. Have you ever been confined to a wheelchair? No, thankfully. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? N/A Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? Very few things. Were your parents born in the same country they now live in? Yes. How many living grandparents do you still have? One. Have you ever heard people having sex in the next room? Yes, or at least pretty sure. Have you ever been on a strict diet and exercise regime? Diet, no, but I stuck to a serious exercise plan during one summer. Do you have a favorite author? No. How long do you usually take in the shower? Not even ten minutes. Get my shit done and get out. Have you ever worked in an office? No. What is your favorite way to eat rice? Fried. Have you ever been in serious trouble at work or school? No. Have you ever kissed anyone under the mistletoe? Yes. What’s one unusual little thing that you really enjoy? Uhhhh. What’s the biggest bruise you’ve ever had? Not sure. Is there anything that people always tell you that you should do? Become an artist or publish writings. Have you ever broken up with someone and then regretted it later? No. What’s the background picture on your phone? Do you change it a lot? Lock screen is meerkat pups cuddling, home screen is Sara kissing my cheek. :') Have you ever taken someone back, who ended up just hurting you again? Not in a romantic sense. How do you feel about shaved pubes? No opinion. Can young people fall in love? If not, why not? Absolutely, I did. What’s your opinion on masturbation? Do it if you so feel the need, but not at all for me. Those experiences are exclusive to me and my partner. What is your favorite Queen song? ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM obviously "Bohemian Rhapsody"??????????????? Have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via Twitter? No. Do you eat cereal bars? No. Do you know any immigrants? Off the top of my head, only an illegal family. Have you ever lived in university or college accommodation before? No. If you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? If you have, do you like it? I'm both nervous but keen to. Do you know how to look after yourself away from home? (budget, pay bills, feed yourself, cook, clean, do laundry etc.) ^ this is why I'm nervous lmao. If you could only eat one vegetable for a year (not including potatoes) what would it be? Broccoli. Do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? What is it? Shave, wash hair, use my facial scrub, and then body wash. Do you prefer chicken burgers or beef burgers? Beef. Would you ever eat kangaroo steak? No. What’s the weirdest meat you’ve ever eaten? Nothing too odd. Is there a chalkboard or whiteboard anywhere in your house? There's a whiteboard in the kitchen. Do you like dried fruit at all? What’s your favorite type? NO. Who lives across the street from you? Nobody; there's a field there. When you were in college, where was the coolest place to hang out? N/A Who did you go to prom with? Jason. What was your first vehicle’s name? Never had my own car, wouldn't name it either. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? Dylan. I thought he was cool and funny and at that age found him god-tier hot lmao. What do you think you cook or bake the best? Just scrambled eggs. Have you considered running for president? Definitely not. How old is the most expired item in your fridge? Idk??? If I was aware something in there was expired, I'd throw it out. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard? "Hurt." Johnny Cash's cover absolutely ramps up the emotional aura to it tenfold. How about the sweetest song? "Here For You" by Ozzy Osbourne. How many bones have you broken? None. Have you ever won anything? Big or small? Yeah. Small things, but I consider the SH:R things to be pretty damn big personally. If you could buy one material thing, and money was not an issue, what would it be? Front row tickets for Mom to Metallica. Concert is the end of this month, and after seeing her lose her fucking mind in ecstatic tears upon finding out they were coming, I'm legitimately depressed for her that we're missing it. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Sashimi. What’s the best way to comfort you when you’re having a really terrible day? Watch some of my favorite Mark videos, listen to the SOTC or SH2 soundtracks, bring me my favorite Reese's bar, ha. Has anything/anyone ever saved your life before? Yes. Jason first, then the partial hospitalization program as a whole, Mom, and two of my medications. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? Hm. I guess a vibrator lmao. What is the most important memory you have and why? Realizing I could live *happily* without Jason. Obvious why that's important. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? Shane Dawson is my Dad. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? To certain people. Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos? I literally only remember liking one lmao. Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? Mom and Dad both. Do you think dimples are cute? YEAH What’s something you used to collect when you were younger? Stickers, then to a less degree seashells. At one point of your life, have you been obsessed with dinosaurs or robots? I was craaaaaaaazy about dinosaurs as a kid. I still love them. What was the last thing you cooked on the stove? Scrambled eggs back when Sara was here in June... lmao. Have you ever not canceled plans and wished you had? Probably. What is something you were scared of as a kid? Animatronics. Still not a fan. Would you rather write a story or a poem? I'll actually finish a poem. But I mean our RP is a really just a big-ass story and I write for it way more than anything. Are you moving soon? No. Do you get nervous around the opposite gender? Always. This fear of men thing's gotta go. Did you ever have a ‘security blanket’ when you were younger? Yes, a stuffed bunny hugging a little polka-dot blanket. What is your lucky charm? Don't have one. What time does your dad usually wake up in the morning? Well, I don't live with him. But he's a mailman, and if his schedule's the same as it was when my parents were together, early. Name the craziest moment of your life: I guess it depends on your definition of "crazy." But I suppose the night of the breakup when I left the house in the dead of night to walk to his house to talk as Mom wouldn't take me. It's a seven minute drive so would've taken a long time to get there, but I didn't care. Mom eventually went after me and kept cutting my path off with the car until I just collapsed sobbing. That was a fucking ordeal. I wouldn't wish that night on anyone. Do you want to travel? YES. Do you plan on having children? No. Who did you last say I love you to? Sara. Do your parents actually knock on your door before entering your room? Mom, no. Dad did. What can’t you wait for? "Can't wait," idk, but I'm looking forward to my birthday. Do you have a bad temper? No. It's hard to make me mad. What brand of digital camera do you own? Nikon. Have you ever seen a Broadway show in New York? No. Are you listening to music right now? "Angel Eyes" by New Years Day ft. Chris Motionless. When was the last time you were told you were cute? I have no clue. Have you ever wished to be an Internet celebrity? How about a ‘real’ one? No. Have you ever been kayaking? No. Do you care overly about other people? Some. What is your favorite family tradition? We don't even have any anymore, it seems. Do you make friends easily? No; I'm way, way too reserved and shy. Do you make enemies easily? Or do you not have any enemies at all? I'd like to think I don't have any. Do you think its likely that humans will go extinct in the next 1000 years? No. Eh, maybe, if we do nothing about royally fucking up the environment. If you have tattoos, how long have you had them? Uhhhh I got my first for my 18th birthday, idr how old my second is, "ohana" is like, two years old or something, my fourth is a year old, Sara's tattoo is from last June, and my latest one was a good few months ago. How old are your next-door neighbors? All I know is elderly. I've never even seen the ones on the other side of us. What did your family usually do for Easter when you were a kid? Easter egg baskets, the egg hunt, and church. What’s the largest bug you’ve ever found in your house? Omg probably this long-ass centipede that was on my door at our old house. Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? BITCH you bet I will be decked the fuck out when I have my own source of income. I never ask on Christmas or my birthday 'cuz it's embarrassing lmao. Pick a flavor: pumpkin or apple? Apple. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? I only eat it with milk. It sucks with water. What is the best type of donut? Glazed or original. Have you ever left a note in a library book? No. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Night. If you go to church, what is your favorite thing about it? N/A ^and what is your least favorite thing about it? Literally almost all preachers whose services I've been to like yell. Chill. You can be passionate without screaming and scaring me. Would you ever film a YouTube video with no make-up on and messy hair? Messy hair, no, but maybe no makeup. What’s your favorite movie that you remember seeing in the theater? Silent Hill: Revelation 'cuz it was the only movie I've ever watched it 3D. Have you ever had a pet rock? HAHA YES. Do you own a bobblehead? No. What is your favorite tattoo that you’ve seen? OH MAN DON'T ASK ME THIS. I absolutely adore those by Brando Chiesa, tho. Determined to have one by him one day aaaahhhh. What is something you have too many of? T-shirts. Do you have any disabilities? No. What are five of your favorite stores at the mall? Hot Topic, Spencer's, one would be Victoria's Secret if I actually FIT IN THEY CUTE-ASS SHIT, and uh. That's like it. When was the last time you went to Michael’s? Foreeeeeeeeever ago. Ours closed years ago. What is your least favorite chore? Washing dishes. Do you organize your clothes by color? No. What was the last thing you made with your own hands? Does a drawing count?? Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? No. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? Maybe donate a shitload of my hair to charity. I really did almost become teary-eyed when I learned it was truly used. What holiday should exist but doesn’t? It'd be nice to have a day centered around learning about mental illnesses and celebrating survivors of them more than usual, I just don't really know how. What holiday shouldn’t exist but does? Idk. I have holidays where I'm bothered that the meaning was warped, but. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? The North Pole. What do you think makes someone a hero? People looking up to you for doing genuine good. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? Pokemon. Are you a coupon clipper? Mom is for food. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? REESE'S HUNNY What are your parents interested in? Mom: Surgeries/medical operations and bodily stuff, art, helping people (children in particular), psychology, etc. Dad: Hockey, football, golf, fishing, that kinda stuff. Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal? No. When do you feel your life energy the strongest? "Life energy?" Not too sure what that means. I guess I feel most "alive" when I'm out in nature witnessing natural beauties, like waterfalls or shooting stars, or driving through the mountains. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring? My cell phone (but keep it off unless needed), a knife, and... I'm not sure. I would say camera or book, but seeing as I'm there at night... OH. DUH. A flashlight so I wouldn't drain my phone's battery using its.

[7teentexts]

Long-Distance Relationship with Vernon

tbh i don’t really like how this turned out (i don’t hate it tho) but I can’t really think of how else could I write this. It’s the first time I post an angst scenario (with a happy ending!) in this blog and I’m sad that it didn’t turn out as good as it could have (since angst if actually one of my favorite things to write and I know I can do better than this)

But as most of you know, I’m going through writer’s block and I’m trying to write the ideas I get. I’ve been trying to finish this request for so long, and I finally did it! It’s not my best, I know, but in this condition, I tried my best, so I hope you all like it

My semi-hiatus is not over, and some things are going on in my life that don’t really make me want to do anything at all, including writing, but I’ll keep working on requests when I have time and ideas.

Thanks to everyone for reading and supporting me!! 

When you woke up and turned on your phone, the first message you were expecting to find was a good morning from your boyfriend

even though he lived very far away from you, he always took one or two minutes once in a while to let you know he was thinking of you and that he missed you

what a sweetheart, i’m soft

however, when all the notifications started appearing on the screen of your phone, you saw something that caught your attention

sure, the message from your boyfriend was still there

a cute “good morning” with a few heart emojis right next to the greeting

but a few messages from your friend sent an one hour before your boyfriend had messaged you caught your eye

so you decided to reply to her before texting Hansol

“(Y/N) did you read the article????

i can’t believe it, like- it might not be true, but the pictures-

omg if it’s true i’m going to kill him for doing this to you

(Y/N)??? are you asleep???

then you probably haven’t read it yet

you wouldn’t sleep peacefully knowing about that

(Y/N) pls wake up”

You were starting to worry a little about whatever she was talking about

she was right, you hadn’t read any articles about anything lately

so no, there wasn’t anything that could have made you feel anxious enough to not let you sleep

“What are you talking about? I didn’t read anything” you texted her

and not even one minute after sending it, she replied

“there’s an article about Vernon dating!!!”

an article about him dating???

did they find out about your relationship???

but how? you two lived very far away and hadn’t seen each for… 5 months?

and at that time you two didn’t even go out, because you were too tired from the long trip to go to South Korea

so

if it couldn’t be a rumor of vernon dating you……..

……

“send me the link of the article rn.

also, tell me it’s from a trustworthy website and not one of those random clickbait articles from soompi or something like that”

“iT’S NOT SOOMPI AND IT IS TRUSTWORTHY

i think

see it for yourself”

so you opened the link she sent you and were greeted by the title “SEVENTEEN’S VERNON WAS SEEN IN A DATE WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND?”

even while scrolling down and reading the article, you didn’t want to believe it, but that didn’t stop a feeling of uneasiness from clouding your mind

and the pictures of him with a girl in different parts of a city and even different stores didn’t really help

‘ok, i should talk to hansol about this’

but guess what

you don’t

you start writing your “good morning” to reply to his message and start a conversation before bringing it up

but then you delete it and lock your phone

you can’t help but feel scared

you trust hansol

if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be with him even when you could only visit him once in a while when you saved enough money

and he couldn’t really visit you because as an idol, he couldn’t just travel to where you were on his few days off

so

after being apart for so long

what if, even if you trusted him and didn’t want to believe that, he just didn’t feel as attached to you as he did before

you loved him so much, maybe after all he didn’t want to hurt you and that’s why he didn’t want to break up with you

‘that’s stupid, right?’ you asked yourself in your mind

and it is stupid tbh, very stupid, silly u

but you still felt anxious and didn’t feel like you could talk to him, at least not at that moment

you got ready to go out and get some fresh air, thinking it’d help you calm down and try to forget about the idea you just came up with

you know, the one about hansol not being in love with you anymore

so once you were ready, you just put your phone inside your purse and then went out of your house

but

it didn’t really help

when you got home, you were less anxious, and that feeling of tightness inside your chest was almost gone

you were almost sure it’d come back later, since after all, you weren’t able to get rid of the idea of him falling in love with someone else 

someone who, even tho he might not see everyday, at least wouldn’t be so far away and make it so hard to see each other without videocalls

you got more messages from him

asking how you were

asking if you had eaten yet a while after the hour you usually have lunch at

asking if you were busy after you read his messages and you didn’t reply

and after more hours of you basically ignoring his messages, he asked if you were okay and if you wanted to talk

still, you didn’t respond and told yourself that you’d talk to him the next day

the next morning, you didn’t have any new messages from him

and you knew why 

he always gave you some space to be alone when you were upset and didn’t want to talk about it

and probably, even at that moment when you were doubting if your relationship could keep going like this

he was still considering your feelings and didn’t want to send you more messages to not make you feel as if he’s putting pressure on you to make you talk

you took a deep breath and finally started typing a message

“i’m sorry that i ignored you”

you waited for more or less 5 minutes, but he wasn’t online

and you didn’t feel like waiting

if you did, you migh back out and you wanted to talk to him about it

and if what you feared was actually true

then, because you truly did love him, you’d let him go

you were sure he’d do the same if he were in your position

“i read the article, and saw the pictures”

in case he hadn’t seen it himself, you sent him the link of the article you had read the previous day

“it’s okay, i’m not really angry”

you weren’t lying when you said you weren’t mad, you weren’t disappointed either

your image of him wouldn’t change if everything turned out to be true

but you were just sad and scared of getting your heart broken

he could have fallen out of love, but you hadn’t

“you don’t have to be afraid of telling me if you want to break up. You know I’ll respect your decision

Just please, if this is all true, you don’t have to hide it from me, that will only make things worse for me, because I do love you with all my heart

So please, just tell me”

Another 5 minutes passed, and you know it was a short time and shouldn’t expect a response so soon, but you were so nervous and your heart was beating so fast that you wished he’d reply right after you sent the last message

But he didn’t, so you had to get up from your bed and try to do something until he finally read your messages

You didn’t have time to do much before the door bell rang

You just showered, brushed your teeth after eating breakfast and put on some clothes to go grocery shopping

Apparently, for the person behind the door, you were taking too long to answer or open the door, so they rang the door bell again and again

“I’m coming! Just give me a second!” You yelled as you made your way from the living room to the entrance, grabbing a jacket before opening the door (since you were still planning to go shopping after taking care of whatever this person needed

you knew it wasn’t your friends because they would have contacted you first (or you hoped they would)

but when you opened the door, you weren’t expect to see hansol standing right in front of you

he looked serious and he didn’t move even after you opened the door

he didn’t say anything either

‘am i dreaming?’ you thought and rubbed your eyes slightly, blinking a few times after that

but he was still there

and before you could say anything, he took you in his arms and hugged you tightly

“Hansol…?” You called his name in a whisper, but he still took a few seconds to finally answer 

“I’m sorry”

You didn’t say anything and just wrapped your arms around him, hugging him back

“It’s okay, I told you” you said, refering to your messages

“It’s not okay” he responded

“I’m not going to leave you, I guess that’s what you thought after seeing that, but I haven’t stopped loving you, I can only love you”

After hearing that, you slowly pulled away to look into his eyes and saw that they were shining

but not in their usual way, when he’d smile looking at you and his eyes had their own special spark

instead, they were full of tears

Seeing him like that made you tear up too, but you didn’t want to cry

If you did, he would cry too, and you didn’t want to see him cry

once again, you know he’d do the same for you if he were in your position

“What are you doing here? When did you get here?”

“We’re going to record some things for our next come back here.”

you felt so bad with yourself

it was all a misunderstanding, he didn’t need to say anything else to let you know that

but still, in just 2 days, you let the idea you got in the heat of the moment after reading the article get to your head and almost destroy your relationship with him

“How did you know how to get to my house?”

“I didn’t know”

you tilted your head to the side slightly, looking at him in confusion

the tears in his eyes were slowly drying as things calmed down and so were yours

“I was looking around the city trying to find the street where you lived reading your address on that letter you sent me when you moved here. I didn’t want to ask you because I wanted to surprise you, but not like this.”

“I’m so sorry, Hansol, I shouldn’t have assumed anything just from that article-”

“No, don’t apologize, because maybe I would have done the same. I understand how you feel.”

You looked away from him after hearing that

Even if he said he wasn’t upset and understood what made you think of that, you still weren’t convinced and still felt bad about yourself

“It’s because we love each other that we worry about possible chances of one of us falling in love with someone else, and it’s even worse being in a long-distance relationship, where you just can’t know what’s happening until I tell you”

He grabbed your hands and your eyes met his again

“Then… Who was that girl? What about the pictures inside some shops?”

You were doubting him anymore, but those two details were still a little unclear to you

“She’s a staff member. There were others around here, and Seungkwan was around there with us too. And, I was looking for something in those shops.”

After saying that, he let go of your hands and took a small box out of the bag he had hung from one of his shoulders

when he opened it and showed its contents to you, you saw two beautiful rings inside

“They’re promise rings.”

After hearing those words, your first reaction was to cover your face with your hands and close your eyes to stop the new tears forming in your eyes from rolling down your cheeks

But soon, Hansol was pulling your hands away from your face and sliding one of the rings on your ring finger, before giving you the other one so you could put it on his ring finger

“I’m sorry, Hansol” you said one last time before sliding the ring on his finger, but he was still smiling at you as he shook his head slightly

“Don’t be. I told you, I know it must have been hard. I know you were just worried and scared. I know you too much.

And I love you too much too, but too much is not enough.”

After hearing his last words, you giggled a little, and blinked a few times to try and get rid of the tears still in your eyes

“You’re so cheesy” you said, letting him embrace you again while chuckling at your response

“Aren’t you going to say you love me too?”

“I love you too, too much.”

there were a few seconds of silence, of you just enjoying being in each other’s arms, of thinking of the promise you just made to each other with those rings

“We might be separated now, but our hearts are one.

One day, we will meet again, and then we will never be apart again

Until that day, always know that I will love you.”

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 11 | “You let me like a parasite leach into this game and I will not be going anywhere”- Ali

Alright, so now it's my time to either put up or shut up. This is the round I really need to make this move in order to put myself in a much better spot moving forward. Either Ali or Autumn need to go this round, and I need to figure out how in the hell I can make this work. I know me, Devon, and the three Beauties are in for this plan, but I'm really concerned about Jakey this round. For some reason he's not being fully forthcoming about his thoughts about this vote, and with someone telling me that him and Ali might be close, I'm really concerned that he may go and ruin this plan. I don't want to think he'd do that - he should know I have had his back since Day 1 and I still think he has mine - but like... this ain't a fun spot to be in. Part of me wants to stack on Autumn and pretend like it's supposed to be a split vote to get Ali to use his idol if Jakey does tell him, but it would be worthless, but I don't even know if that would work. So I think I really need to figure out what Jakey is ok with here and then figure out how I can guarantee the heat doesn't come on me if this plan is found out.

I- just... you think you know people. Me and Adam rn https://media.tenor.com/images/ad6bd858d5371eb4ad2755d4a11bc748/tenor.gif but also me and Adam rn https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b8/d0/26/b8d026447effad19676de7e8ccc05c6f.gif Not Adam calling me at midnight to tell me that the whole ass tribe is planning to blindside Ali. I can't even get into the tea fully cause I'm in my bag now that I know 6 people think so little of me and will to lie to my face all day tomorrow but like it's fine. They will be dealt with, Adam is a king, we will get our Emmy's tomorrow for bamboozling everyone back, and I will 100% get Ali to play the idol he (probably?) has when I lay all the cards at 7 pm EST tomorrow lmao. And I'm really gonna get Jakey and Deovn's double agent asses- THAT I do know! Just you wait cause like I said before: name an ally I won't kill

to THINK, to literally THINK i wanted adam out at a point in this game. adam is literally the only person i trust in this game, i will be the kingmaker for him to get the win he deserves. what a genuinely lovely man, im so glad we are both still here. it sounds like there is a blindside being cooked up for little old me this round and for what...i'm borderline inactive, i cant connect with anyone in this game like... voting me for what... for literally what. also if jake is voting for me i will literally scream into the void this is so stupid for him. i am literally so far up his ass in this game all season and yet he wants to send me packing and for what. adam literally is my god send, as is devon's inability to keep literally anything a secret? like i trusted devon... so much?! and yet he literally threw me so far under the bus my squished up corpse is a 2D shape. i'm so... shook?! and also i still cant decide if i think jake is in on this, but if he is... im screaming? what a clown decision. but literally i cant believe this. im so excited to idol out one of the generic men in this game out tomorrow, they can all literally suck it up i cant wait. i want to be the kingslayer, i want to be the person who votes out amir for the first time in tumblr survivor. screw keeping big threats around, fuck that noise. i'm going to literally go through metamorphosis and become alyssa this season. i will be the mother hen who takes the bullet for my allies moving forwards, adam/autumn will make it further and further (plus jake if he is proven innocent and not a snake) anyway cast assessment: augusto - he can have such empty conversations for hours?! like this tribe confuses talking lots with social game. but like with him its a real i don't love your excess energy, go girl give us too much... would love to see him do literal anything beyond just having nothingy conversations... that does not a winner make amir - WOW his galaxy brain is so big. honestly i have to be impressed with amir, the fact he has this tribe misted that he is not the mastermind he is... a testament to his skill. i want to idol him out tomorrow adam - literally my jesus. i owe him my life in this game and i will stay true to that. i cant believe i didnt trust him at first wow... i hope adam gets the win this season autumn - my other goddess.. the literal love of my life, i want her and adam in the f3 this season if i cant make it. i want an autumn hill two time winner yes please and thank you devon - okay devon remains SUCH a sweet guy but oh my god does he play like a snake HELLO. he literally pumped me full of hot air for literally nothing wow woww wowww. he has lied to me for rounds and rounds for literally nothing... am ready to get that snake caught in a trap jake - i think the man who i was willing to give up my entire game for has been lying to me, i feel the exact same way i felt when my boyfriend cheated on me like this feels so personal... and i dont even see the endgame for jake with this hello!? my heart is broken, i literally watched sharifa play in sequester for HOURS with that man and for what?! for WHAT kendall - a literal sweetheart, never dissed. hope she goes far the only non-fraudulent one of the bunch tj -askjdlfsa he is so... stale jKLJKASDFAS like as a player go girl give us nothing. i wish he was being deadass when he said we were gonna squash our beef but i guess not huh? clownery from me i see anyway its almost 8am i need bed. im fueled by rage and im ending the generic men. adam and autumn are the loves of my life, brain, brawn and beauty are linking UP.

GORL yall better hold onto your britches this is gonna be a LONG one, so immunity happens, a music challenge, which i knew was right up my alley, i was confident going into it and tbh i had no idea what was gonna happen this round, so i decided to take a risk and use my challenge advantage, WHICH PAID OFF BECAUSE BITCH I AM T H E SONGSTRESS, DO RE MI FA SO LA TI DA UP OUT MY FACE BECAUSE YALL CANT GET ME THIS ROUND. who would've thought little old me would end up winning not one, but TWO individual immunities in a single season! im always dragging myself but for once im so PROUD of myself because with my last one there really wasnt anything to brag about, it was handed to me, which kinda did feel nice in a sense considering i know no one trusts me yet they wanted to still keep me around, but like this one was M Y own WIN like on my own merit. I'm an aries, dont ever count me out because i will deliver all the gags and all the goops so after my win, i know im 100% safe, so i start to think... hmm well idk who i want to go so i guess ill see and wait if anyone says anything to me, and then DEVON calls me and we're having a convo when all the sudden he gets real coy.... and starts going "OMG ADAM UGHHH I DONT KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU THIS OR IF I CAN OR CANT" meanwhile, obviously i wanna know the tea so im like well bitch! spill! and he tells ME that apparently, him, jakey, tj, amir, and augusto have all allegedly been in talks and want to BLINDSIDE ALI THIS ROUND because they think he has the idol...and purposely leave me and autumn out? ill get to the THOUGHTS i have on that soon, because oh, i have SEVERAL thoughts, but as he tells me this he's basically just saying OMG PLEASE IM TAKING A HUGE RISK TELLING YOU THIS DONT TELL ANYONE ELSE, which, i DO trust devon slightly, but here's where the problems began and im gonna break it down for yall, 1) ONCE AGAIN, THE BIGGEST PHONYS IN THE GAME FAKE 1 AND FAKE 2 AMIR AND AUGUSTO LMAO LIKE .... DID WE NOT JUST END THE BEEF WE HAD WITH EACH OTHER BECAUSE YALL WANTED TO GO BEHIND MY BACK AND NOT INCLUDE ME IN THE PLANS, ONLY FOR YOU TO DO THE SAME THING YET AGAIN??????? 2) Devon also TOLD me straight up and he was kinda laughing when he said it "im gonna be straight up no one trusts you in this game but i do and thats why im telling you", because AMIR/AUGUSTO ARE TELLING EVERYONE I HAVE THE IDOL FROM BEAUTY. WHY WILL NO ONE BELIEVE ME AND WHY ARE THEY BELIEVING THEM I DONT HAVE IT. LIKE I CAN OWN MY GAME AND MY MISTAKES AND THE ONLY THING IVE DONE TO DESERVE DOUBT WAS MY STUPID LIE ABOUT THE AUCTION BUT E V E R Y O N E LIED LIKE WHY AM I ALWAYS THE BAD GUY? YALL WANT ME TO BE THE BAD GUY, CHUN LI? BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, I CAN BE. ive been playing this game with ONE mindset only. I'll be semi honest with everyone, but lie to me and then you can no longer believe a word i say.... and 3) devon also told me, while he trusts me and wants to go far with me, everyone else doesnt want to take me out this round, next round, or even 7, theyre planning to go for me around like final 6......ok so what im hearing is people are ALREADY trying to plan when to take me out and while he may trust me, i basically would have no way to play the game other than with him??? which why would i just sit there and accept that fate...OH AND ALSO 4) him and everyone else really just expects me to sit back and knowingly vote against kendall, who WOULDNT be going home so they can blindside ali...... so id literally lose a friend in this and gain an enemy? do i have idiot plastered on my forehead??? well, i guess they were right not to tell me about the plan because BITCH I RAN RIGHT TO ALI. Like honestly, screw all those people, i feel like ive done NOTHING so horrible to make people dislike or distrust me so severely so i feel like i dont owe anyone a damn thing. why would i just sit complacently waiting to get picked off at 5/6 and put all my eggs in one basket when i single handedly can change the whole game right now, and thats exactly what i plan on doing. At this point im TIRED of people overlooking me and thinking they can play this game around me and get away with it, but whatever, YALL WANTED GOOD TV, YALL WANTED A SHOW WELL BUCKLE UP BECAUSE YALL MAY BE GOOD AT THIS GAME AND GOOD AT BEING FAKE, BUT YALL DONT KNOW WHAT YOU GOT YOURSELVES INTO WITH ME, IN THE WISE WORDS OF TAMMIE BROWN, YOU WANTED CRAZY, WELL YOU GOT IT NOW ali was SHOOK when i spilled the beans to him, and i told him like look this is me giving you my trust because he's the only person who's shown me respect besides autumn and even if he wasnt being genuine, at least he's being SMART AND GUESS WHAT IT'S GONNA SAVE HIS GAME BECAUSE BITCH HE TOLD ME HOW HE HAS THE IDOL- NOT JUST ONE, BUTTWO OF THEM FJADHSKJFH GORL FIRST OF ALL im so happy i can STOP PLAYING 2048 THAT DAMN GAME WAS GOING TO BE MY UNDOING, SECOND OF ALL I LITERALLY CACKLED ON CALL WHEN HE TOLD ME, I KNEW I COULD TRUST MY GUT ABOUT HIM, OH AND IT GETS EVEN BETTER HE ALSO HAS THE IDOL NULLIFIER EFSDKAJH WHICH MEANS....if we play our cards right......we can take out whoever we want, maybe everyone was right to be scared of us. I'd be scared, i think they should all be scared, yall wanted to say fuck my drag time and time again, well watch me bring it to the runway now. we also agreed we need to let autumn in on this, which could be either the BEST or WORST move....i really THINK i can trust autumn, her and ali are hands down my #1/2 in the game, and devon right behind, although if we pull this off, i told them both i dont want to get devon since he let me know this, i think even if i blindside him and dont let him know, i can at least justify myself enough to him and let him know him going home was still never an option, but i called autumn right after ali and told her all the same tea and at first she was kinda hesitant about it all, but i knew her and jakey had a good relationship so the hardest part for me i think was making her really believe he's against her which i think i did a good job of making her believe because she SPILLED the tea to me about how her/ali/jakey had an alliance, and i absolutely did just kick him out and take his place oop, which i dont trust jake at all because something about him/amir/augusto is so shady, you mean to tell me they voted you out and he hasnt tried to go for them or vice versa this whole time.... my gut is telling me they're in kahoots, and would 100% be a solid 3 against me down the line... my whole game rn hinges on autumn believing me because its the TRUTH i just told her what i was told but clearly i painted it a little more my way oops, so as of now the plan is autumn and me will both keep playing dumb tomorrow, then around 7 pm we're gonna "tell ali" the plan (which i already told him) but autumn doesnt know he has the idol yet, so ali will confirm it to her, and we'll make our move. I'm going to push for it to be amir, i want him OUT OF THIS GAME. im SICK of him and augusto prancing around like the wicked step sisters and treating me like cinderella. but who knows, maybe devon telling me was strategy on his part so i tell ali and we flush the idol and they vote autumn, but i have to hope that all those people are good enough with autumn that they dont want to do that just yet... but i mean, ali does have 2 so we already said if we feel like we need to use both, one for him and one for autumn, it's an option. Also if any of them have the idol ... this could become a mess if someone plays one right after ali, this could also just fall apart if they split the votes 3/3 sedkfha the odds of me actually getting my way....are feeling slim, but im gonna be hopeful because it's all i got, if this works, it could be my winning move, but if it fails, and there's a high chance it fails.... im gone next round... but with ali staying i dont think thatll happen, he's a shield for me and someone i can trust, im taking a page from the michele winners at war book, and he's my jeremy. I trust him, and i need him in this game for at least a few more rounds or im just gonna be dragged along and disposed of at some point. And if i leave then whatever at least i can say i caused chaos, which im always down for.

So I think Ali is getting sketched out by this vote, so now I am working with Jakey and Devon to figure out a plan to make Ali feel safe and not play an idol. But I'm like... oh dear... this could really blow up in our faces if this doesn't work. And I'm over here trying to communicate now to everyone what is going on so that they don't panic and I'm like... wasn't I just on the bottom? Now I feel like I have some kind of power again? I like this feeling, but also, it be scary as fuck.

If last round was the calm before the storm, this round is a full on hurricane of a vote. I have spent the past round or so trying to rally the troops against Ali and I think it can finally happen? He has two idols, a vote reveal, a idol blocker, and a killer social game so these people need to smell the roses and get him out. I really hope I don’t leave but if this is my undoing, at least I tried to make a move! 

tribal is in a few hours and i have a WHOLE ass headache because i dont know what's gonna happen....so last night devon LITERALLY told me everyone but me/autumn were gonna be in the vote against ali... but then today he's telling me jake doesnt know he thinks......am i crazy? did i mishear?? or is he trying to gaslight me.....because i KNOW what i heard and i literally led this whole jake slander campaign to autumn and ali, autumn doesnt think we can trust jakey because i can see devon feeling nervous after telling me that and then they try to tell jake to get in good with us so he knows our plan, but it also doesnt really make sense if jakey works with them unless my conspiracy about him/amir being in kahoots makes sense....so i dont fucking know what's happening, if it were up to me this would stay between me/autumn/ali and we'll ask for forgiveness rather than permission on the next day... autumn/ali are on call rn and theyre supposed to let me know after because autumn is supposed to "spill" the tea to ali (which i already spilled last night) and then we'll go from there because since he does have the idol we just need to place our votes very carefully in conclusion; there's gonna be some angry gays one way or another after tribal (and a few confused heteros)

I don’t think anyone respects me... which is annoying because I am currently playing a social game. But even more annoying because nobody listens to me!!!!!! Like literally all we have to do is switch to Autumn!!!! Switch to Autumn and everything will be fine and no one is willing to do that. Ugghhhhhhh god damnit I’m going to lose my mind.

I WILL CONFESS LATER BUT WE ARE SENDING DEVON OUT 4-3 AND IM GONNA IDOL MYSELF BECAUSE IM SCARED... IM READY TO BE IN FINAL EIGHT AND IM READY TO FIGHT.

Fucking THIS AND ALL THESE FKING PEOPLE IM SO DONE, I literally have no course of action, I’ve went through every single plan in my mind and every single one reaches a dead end, I don’t know the details of how the idol block and vote reveal work I can’t switch the vote to jakey, because Ali will vote reveal and then idol jakey and then I’m left with 4 people who want me dead and jakey blowing up my game I can’t split on autumn and Ali because we don’t have the votes without jakey I can’t fucking do anything at all I have to be passive, but I have to be alert Ali isn’t gonna go, jakey isn’t gonna go, autumn won’t, and adam wont It’s going to be me or my allies So I just have to try and make it not me at this point 

I think devon is about to leave and like, that is okay, just be who you are 

[commando-rogers]

I'm just like.... excited fam

like yeah stressful things are happening like socially and shit but also so many GOOD THINGS are happening

like I was cast in a student film, and our first read through is in less than a week!!! finally!!! (and I'm not sure but I think my character might be the lead???? like???? what????)

and like I've got auditions coming up for next semester's mainstage shows and odds are I'm gonna get exactly zero callbacks but I also know that's what I'm here to do so like I'll fuckin deal with it

I'm taking voice lessons for the first time in my life and guess what!!!! they're hard as fucking shit!!!! it's so hard!!!! and so stressful!!!!! but last week I had a really good lesson!!!! and I'm starting to break old habits and relearn certain skills and I'm slowly gaining more control over my body!!!!! yay!!!!!

like I went and saw my school's musical last week with my mom, and my friend and her mom, and during intermission we were talking about how incredible the leads were and my friends mom was like "and that could be you!!!" and they all agreed and I was like... haha.... we'll see...., and inside I'm like are you fucking stupid????? no way!!!! like yeah maybe I'm not shit but I'm not NEARLY at that level!!!!!! but like I'm having little breakthroughs and tiny victories and it's really helping to boost my confidence

I just had my first choir concert!!! and our director is a DOLL I adore him. and like I botched my solo auditions straight up but he asked me to be part of this smaller segment of a song with only a few other people just bc.... he trusted me??? idk!!!! but like I'm one of the section leaders!!!! I have responsibility!!!!! I'm involved!!!! it's great!!!!

and guess what???? pretty soon I'm gonna officially declare a major!!!! exciting!!!! for a while I thought I was just gonna do theatre but I officially decided a few weeks ago to double major theatre and music and I'm excited!!!!!

and like.... yeah classwork sucks and I do need to get my shit together because deadlines are gonna sneak the FUCK up on me like I've got a six page paper AND a 15-ish page play both due in less than two weeks and I have no progress on either but it's okay I know ill get them done!!!!

that's another thing!!!! I'm writing a play!!!!! I'm excited!!!! and I'm really fucking stumped rn tbh but that's okay because like I know it HAS to get done so therefore it WILL get done!!!! maybe it'll suck ass but tbh who cares

like tbh the worst aspect of my life rn is just socially. like. I'm SICK of my friends. SICK of them. they're great and I love them but it's literally the same four people I've spent every waking day with and NEVER ANYONE ELSE. and like I don't think they get that we should have other friends. I need other friends. I'm dying. I've been irritable with them lately and one of my friends told my that my roommate said she was afraid I was "branching out". and we were both like. bitch. I'm not locked in. it's p sad you think you should only ever interact with these same four people and never meet anyone else.

like I wanna go out and get drunk!!! I have yet to fucking get drunk!!!! or party!!!!! because guess what!!!!! they never wanna go out!!!! my roommate hates parties!!! and that's fine!!! I'm not a huge fan either!!!! but guess what!!!! I still wanna!!!!!! but I feel like I can't because I'd be leaving her behind and also WHO ELSE WOULD I GO WITH CONSIDERING I HAVE NO OTHER FRIENDS. but that's okay I know other people who said I can go out with them anytime so I'll probably hit them up this weekend bc they know how to have a good time.

but yeah so that's the only thing in my life that really fucking sucks right now. but guess what!!! that's okay!!!! because in less than a week this movie finally starts and then that's a whole new group of friends!!!! new people!!! and then I can party with them!!!!! and hang out with them!!!!! and not spend my time shut in my room when everyone else isn't!!!! and this weekend I'm gonna go out!!!! and if my roommate doesn't wanna, she doesn't have to!!!!! because we shouldn't be attached at the fucking hip 24/7!!!!! even though she thinks we should!!!!! I'm tired of my only friends being either in my room or right across the hall!!!! it's unhealthy to think we're locked into this!!! I'm allowed to branch out!!!!! goodbye!!!!!!

but yeah life's pretty good rn fam I'm having fun nothings too stressful good things are happening my grades are good I'm making new friends (including one girl who's kinda cute idk if she likes girls tho) like there are friends everywhere!!! friends in class!!!! friends in choir!!!! other friends that I should hang out with more because it's stupid to just hang out with the same people!!!!!

but yeah I think I mainly just started this post because I got cast in the movie like over a week ago and now the read through is finally in less than a week and I can't wait to get started I'm so excited so so so excited omg

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 11 - “i am the balrog elder gay” - Kait

i am the balrog elder gay 

Losing Chloe BROKE ME. listning to Bye Bye mariah carey and crying!!! this is for the people who just lost somebody... SHOOT. I wanted her to blurt out more of her votes in tribe chats. RIP. a fallen Goddess...

SWEET BABY JESUS I GET A SECOND LIFE IN THIS GAME!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! OMG I LOVE THE LAGOON RN! BUT HOPEFULLY I CAN MAKE IT TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN RETURN BECAUSE I HAVE A FEW PEOPLE TO STRIKE BACK AT.

I’m so dumb, completely missed the voting deadline, in my defense i was teaching, but still. Never again, its merge (maybe) and im not gonna jeopardise my game like that.

I'm glad we merged but two people are returning to the game? This has been the most cracked game I have ever played.

Renee and Chips have a chance to return. Between the both I hope Renee comes back. She was an ally for me and most probably work together again.

Go rennee!

---

boo chips

MERGEMERGEMERGEMERGE!!!! glad my zodiac sign is known for being loyal cause I sure ain’t. 

This challenge is always weird but i think if people tell me the truth i may have cancelled out some of my stuff im getting. M&M&M are good standings hopefully. I also trust kait thomas and timmy. Hopefully i can make itndeep in the game.

---

This challenge was a total meh i guess this works. Hopefully i win immunity. If not hopefully im not a target. My relationship with Madison may be rocky right now cuz i blindsided her tribe friend in another game. So im kinda nervous. Hopefully she doesnt pass it her vengence here and tries to take me out.  Im slightly worried a but for this tc.

This merge is a little different from my norm game, I usually have 2-4 alliance chats going but I don't have a single one so far this game.  All my deals have been side deals so far, I do not know if that is a good or bad thing as of this moment in time.  Corey did fill me in that there was an alliance being formed that included him, at least it's indicative of him wanting "The Bull and the Lion" to continue to work. I am also way to mentally drained to give a damn, I just needed to make a confessional to not strike. I worked for 14 hours today but I made 325 dollars and now only owe 4k on my student loans.  Thassss a win in my book even if I get voted out, I'm just gonna drink some beer, hold Jenifer and go to bed.  Good night Moon.

THANK GOD I WON IMMUNITY. You have no idea how good it feels to not have to stress out too much this round. Considering there are 14 of us, really anything could happen, but it's great to know that I will make it through at least one more round. The only key here is just making sure that I stay on the right side of the numbers. The line will most likely be drawn in the sand, so it's important that I stay on the right side of it. So far, I think the people that trust me the most are Ian, Corey, and Matt. I talk to them the most out of everyone, and I do trust them all to an extent, Corey and Ian the most. I would love to find a way to get all three of them on the same page, but I know that will be a heard feat. Next in line would probably be Maynor, Madison, and Kait. I talk to these three a good amount, but for some reason I am having a hard time putting my full faith into them. I talk to Owen a good amount too, but he is a MAJOR threat, and someone that I do not want to be in the game for too much longer if I'm going to have a chance to win. For this round, in an ideal world, Thomas would go home. But that seems too easy. I am hoping someone starts throwing names around, but if not, I guess it will have to be me.

WHY DOES MATT HATE ME SO MUCH?!?!  I genuinely wanted to work with him after first impressions, I bet he was the one who voted Taurus now.  My idol now has a name attached to it, so thanks for that Matt.  In a way, I guess you did end up working with me in some fashion.  Ideally this round goes down with a clear majority on Stephan and Corey can get his save a vote activated and I play the slow burn on good ole Matteo, I wanted to butt heads with Owen at merge, but Owen has been a delight while Matteo has been nothing but a thorn in my side.  

Phew child this merge! 14 people is so so so many and I did in fact vote out Adrian and Chloe, both people who I’ve worked with. I’m left in a really interesting spot because of the warzones it’s still hard to see who has a pattern of voting together. I feel that I’ve positioned myself to be in a lot of threesomes, and hopefully nobody really catches on to that? I know Kait is my number one currently and I have trust with Madison and Devon and Corey. But I’m also fully aware that everyone is a huge threat, and I have to downplay myself as one as well. Hopefully a stepehen vote will provide me with good positioning, as we’re removing someone I personally can’t reallt work with, and lessening the numbers. I also wanna really work with chips but I’m sure everyone was chomping at that bit! Who doesn’t want a bite of chips!

I wish I could put an image in this form bc the joke I’m about to make is so funny Anyways lol I told Kait about the idol I felt like I had to or else I’d break her trust if I ever used it. But THEN LOL SHE TOLD ME THAT matt also has one LMAO THAY HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT!!!! So that meme I linked above is literally me and matt with our idols Here’s my prob tho I like l.... I have to tell matt bc he knows I guess the coordinate. So I guess that’s a thing that’ll happen

Finally have an alliance chat with Kait and Owen...it’s been so many rounds in the making tbh, it just needed to actually be made. I feel safer having that as well as us going to make one with Matt and Maynor as well, making sure that Matt is okay with it...Maynor already seems to be on board. The only name that’s been going around is Stephen so that kind of sucks because I wanted to work with him, but he isn’t around enough to try and rock the boat for in this game unfortunately. 

I found a hidden immunity idol which is awesome! Also, everyone has been silent this round after we decided on Stephen so that’s a bit suspicious 

This is a really hard round because I really like everyone. If any good came from it, it's that I solidified myself into a strong alliance that should be able to keep me safe for at least a few rounds. Corey did not seem to bite on my idea to vote out Owen. Matt says he is most threatened by Ian and Timmy. And everyone just seems to want to vote Stephen. I think this round will be pretty easy, but from this point on it just gets harder. I assume that Chips is in a bad spot and most likely will go next. But at final 12, it's going to be a doozy to see who can stay on top of the vote.

So thisrounf there is an alliance of 6 however I have 0 faith in Thomas. He is a wild card and will be hard to judge and work with. No idea what’s going to happen tonight. 

Aight a lot happening this merge!!! Fourteen people we losin our minds. First of all let me say half these ppl were kinda boring to talk to but I’m liking it a little better today. I came in wanting Stephen GONE because I lied to him during the taylor vote and we haven’t clicked since and I promised I would get out whoever lied to me in this food challenge and his bitch ass didn’t submit so I didn’t get my perfect ZERO!!!! So I was all ready to press him but suddenly Devon had already thrown out his name! Easy as pie. I rlly trust Kait and her and corey get along. I was branching out to some others too like madison is bae, Devon is fun, I like talking to Ian. My FAVORITE is Maynor I rlly like him but I’m scared matt has a hold on him. Anyways I helped set up some alliances today that I hope are solid. One is me Kait madison corey and then they wanted to add Devon and tommy which is cool. Still kinda pressed at Thomas because yesterday I said ily to him and he replied with lol but other than that it’s a good group. But then suddenly Timmy wanted something with Kait and I so I took that as an opportunity to solidify something with Maynor! Precious angel. Kait and I are worried because the tension between corey and matt lmao which is honestly kinda stupid. Matt was sus about corey after he spearheaded the renee vote which like I understand. And I stirrred the pot a little because I told corey that matt was after him lmao. But for now I’m rlly working hard to keep them from targeting each other and so is Kait. Idk how long that can last tho. Ummmm trace’s THOT HOE ASS told corey he wanted me out?!!! So he gotta GO! And Kait and matt think Ian is dangerous which I’m like ok maybe..., sure. Ummm Cullan is just mind boggling. He ate tater tots for breakfast who does that. But he’s sweet I guess. Id prefer him and Ian and trace gone soon but corey likes all those people oop. I rlly think Kait wants to stick with going to the end with me and matt which like.... I rlly will keep allegiance to Kait but matt? Idk. He kept his idol secret from me and it’s clear he doesn’t trust me as much which is fine, I wasbsure Stephen would target me tonight but apparently now he’s going for Thomas. Hopefully it’s an easy vote and Stephen goes and I get what I want and next round I’ll figure out what to do when it gets harder

Well. Tonight the vote is Stephen. Well, for the majority of us. For little young me, I will be voting for nobody! We acquiring a save vote. Hopefully, at our next tribal, Timmy leaves! Woo! I am in 2 alliances: Mighty Happy Meal (Owen, Kait, Madison, Devon, Thomas) and Queer Eye-ish (Madison, Matt, Trace). Period... I am loyal to my own people. Madison, Owen, Ian, Devon. Kait too, to an extent. The rest need to go at their time. I do what I can. Matt is a priority for me to get rid of. Unless Timmy wants Matt gone, I want him gone too for next time. x

Ep 11: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-fEEBtT8R4hk_587qknbxwLmB8yhN_lt/view?usp=drivesdk

This is my placeholder confession for until I am at a computer and able to type something out. I got back in the game!

alyssa said put ep 11: just a quick recap bc i have to play this silly flash game now before i pass out - corey and matt allegedly not liking each other is still a problem - owen found an idol - i told owen matt has an idol bc i have a big mouth - corey told owen all this shit about the vote and idk just other game sensitive stuff and not me and - there's an aliens of trace, matt, madison, and corey that trace allegedly made. this is a big question mark bc either it's just really random and people that trace wants to work with despite what they said or this beef??? between matt and corey is fake which i wouldn't be too surprised by - corey told all of this to owen before tribal but told him that he was going to wait until after tribal to tell me like.... i don't appreciate that. - i think that kind of solidifies that if/when corey v matt happens and i have to pick a side i wanna go with my matt. - im sure i will think of more tomorrow oh also i want ian to get deleted from skype thx

EP 11 Confessional: I got an idol this round which is cool. I heard the vote was stephen however it’s been kinda quiet. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 

Aight a lot happening this merge!!! Fourteen people we losin our minds. First of all let me say half these ppl were kinda boring to talk to but I’m liking it a little better today. I came in wanting Stephen GONE because I lied to him during the taylor vote and we haven’t clicked since and I promised I would get out whoever lied to me in this food challenge and his bitch ass didn’t submit so I didn’t get my perfect ZERO!!!! So I was all ready to press him but suddenly Devon had already thrown out his name! Easy as pie. I rlly trust Kait and her and corey get along. I was branching out to some others too like madison is bae, Devon is fun, I like talking to Ian. My FAVORITE is Maynor I rlly like him but I’m scared matt has a hold on him. Anyways I helped set up some alliances today that I hope are solid. One is me Kait madison corey and then they wanted to add Devon and tommy which is cool. Still kinda pressed at Thomas because yesterday I said ily to him and he replied with lol but other than that it’s a good group. But then suddenly Timmy wanted something with Kait and I so I took that as an opportunity to solidify something with Maynor! Precious angel. Kait and I are worried because the tension between corey and matt lmao which is honestly kinda stupid. Matt was sus about corey after he spearheaded the renee vote which like I understand. And I stirrred the pot a little because I told corey that matt was after him lmao. But for now I’m rlly working hard to keep them from targeting each other and so is Kait. Idk how long that can last tho. Ummmm trace’s THOT HOE ASS told corey he wanted me out?!!! So he gotta GO! And Kait and matt think Ian is dangerous which I’m like ok maybe..., sure. Ummm Cullan is just mind boggling. He ate tater tots for breakfast who does that. But he’s sweet I guess. Id prefer him and Ian and trace gone soon but corey likes all those people oop. I rlly think Kait wants to stick with going to the end with me and matt which like.... I rlly will keep allegiance to Kait but matt? Idk. He kept his idol secret from me and it’s clear he doesn’t trust me as much which is fine, I wasbsure Stephen would target me tonight but apparently now he’s going for Thomas. Hopefully it’s an easy vote and Stephen goes and I get what I want and next round I’ll figure out what to do when it gets harder

[decaynow]

∞

SHDHDHHSHD DOES THIS MEAN YOU WANT ME TO ANSWER WHICHEVER ONES I WANT OR ALL OF THEM??? Fuck it, I’m done with stuff at this job so. I’ll do them all. Why not

1. What is you middle name?

Gerard

2. How old are you?

20

3. When is your birthday?

June 20th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Geminiii

5. What is your favorite color?

RED but i also love black

6. What’s your lucky number?

6!!! I like this question’s placement. 6 because Grimmjow but also because HAIL SATAN 666 AAAAAA

7. Do you have any pets?

I have a lil’ black pitbull named Trixie!!!

8. Where are you from?

Georgia the state

9. How tall are you?

5’3

10. What shoe size are you?

uhhh i actually do not know my size in men’s I think it’s like a 5??? Technically in women’s I’m a 7.5 but I tend to buy a half size up A. because doc martens doesn’t do half sizes and B. i dont really like for my shoes to be tight

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

... a lot. I have a shoe fetish ngl.

12. What was your last dream about?

I think I had a dream last night..? About Invader Zim maybe???

13. What talents do you have?

I CAN SING LIKE ANY TWENTY ONE PILOTS SONG, i can touch my tongue to my nose, I have a pretty decent Kermit the frog impression, and I have other weird flexes but I cant remember them rn because my memory sucks

14. Are you psychic in any way?

Idk, sometimes I can predict what song will play next but I think I’m just lucky.

15. Favorite song?

Hhh this is so hard to answer bc I wanna pick something metal but tbh... Holding On To You by Twenty One Pilots

16. Favorite movie?

Either Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron (I know the whole movie by heart and all the songs)

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

HBNGFHBB,, i dont know I thirst after many celebrities and fictional characters and they’re all kind of different. I guess someone who won’t make me be someone I’m not. Obviously my lack of adult qualities probably isn’t endearing but idk, someone who’s willing to let me be a lil’ childish. I’d like someone who takes the reigns when it comes to adult stuff, I wanna be a stay at home dad and manage our place and kids or pets and stuff. I like kinda being left to my own devices. That will include me constantly wanting to be in ur space LOL

18. Do you want children?

YEAH... REALLY BADLY... but idk if I’ll ever get to have any bc I dont think anyone would want to date me and marry me and have them LMAO so I dont think I should be trying ever

19. Do you want a church wedding?

My ideal wedding is in a graveyard, on October 31st, at sundown, we are being married on an altar of black candles and jack-o-lanters, the autumn colours are flourishing, and I am carried out to the walkway down to the altar in a casket. Everyone is required to wear black except for our bestmen/bridesmaids and me or whoever I marry. If they aren’t dressed like it’s a funeral I’m kicking them out. Deadass. I want the gothest wedding imaginable.

20. Are you religious?

I do kinda believe in stuff but I’m not a fan of organized religion. I mean, I’m a fan as in, the aesthetic and idea of organized religion is majorly sexy, but i feel like religion is really personal and not a public thing for me. Also 666 hail sa-

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Nope!!! Never broken a bone or had any kind of emergency LOL

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

ONCE I GOT PULLED OVER FOR ROLLING THRU A STOP SIGN AND I CRIED

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I’VE MET HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD TWICE!!! And I’ve met Norman Reedus too. I also went to school with Chandler Riggs (not to put my location on blast HDYDUFHDGDGDD) uhhh I can’t think of anyone else if I have I’d probAOH. Shannon whatever her name is from Stranger Things. She was at my last TØP concert and I asked her for a picture bc my friends were too shy to say anything but since idk her i didnt care LOL

24. Baths or showers?

I like both but I take showers more often

25. What color socks are you wearing?

One is The Scream by Edvard Munch and one is The Kiss by Gustav Klimt

26. Have you ever been famous?

Not like BIG famous but like, people in my school all knew me basically because I was always Doing Shit

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Maybe??? Part of me doesnt want all my shit on blast but at the same time idgaf

28. What type of music do you like?

E... everything... i lean towards punk, pop punk, rock, metal, alternative and whatever but i will literally go from Hannah Montana to Dethklok to Twenty One Pilots to Ghost to Katy Perry don’t test me

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

NO and idk if i want to i dont like to be naked

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

I have 7 but i usually have 8. I like a lot of pillows. I want more.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

... ur asking an active sleeper that question. I don’t even know what position i wake up in.

32. How big is your house?

Normal sized I guess???

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I DONT EAT IT BECAUSE I DONT WAKE UP IN THE MORNING

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

I think my dad let me once when I was a kid but that’s because he’s a bad father

35. Have you ever tried archery?

YEAH i sucked at it but in my head i imagine being good at it lol

36. Favorite clean word?

Salutations, Shenanigans or Hold

37. Favorite swear word?

hmmm would go with your classic fuck but tbh i LOVE to lengthen it to motherfucker. Think in terms of most used though, God Damnit.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Maybe two days?

39. Do you have any scars?

:/ I have a lot. Some are from me being dumb (the scar on my leg from melting tape) and some are from me being really dumb (scars on my wrist and arm and thigh) but I’m not ashamed of them, in fact I like scars and bruises. I just hate when people randomly ask about them in person (ie “omg what happened!?!?”) because it’s like... self harm scars are pretty obvious about what’s going on so when you ask like that... idk wtf to say.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

PROBABLY??? But im oblivious.

41. Are you a good liar?

Hhjfguvghhh maybe sometimes??? I try not to lie though and i think its impossible bc im a gemini so there’s a little truth in everything I say

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO IM STUPID

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

NOOOOOOO i can do Kermit the Frog and thats it

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I’m southern so yes

45. What is your favorite accent?

I LOVE YOU SWEDISH PEOPLE... also love irish accents but also i cant understand anything bc my ears are stupid

46. What is your personality type?

Rambunctious

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I have a $100 Ghost hoodie but I think my Big Boots were $148

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yas

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Inward belly buttons or perish

50. Left or right handed?

LEFT LEFT LEFT

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Hmhnghhhhnnnn depends, usually

52. Favorite food?

PASTAAA

53. Favorite foreign food?

I fucking LOVE udon

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I am a messy person doing my absolute best to be clean

55. Most used phrased?

like ever? I start most sentences with “you know what i hate?” But mostly i tend to parrot memes. If I think something is funny I repeat it to myself over and over until it isn’t.

56. Most used word?

Probably “I” because I cant ever stop talking about my damn self

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

... i dont wanna talk about it (a while)

58. Do you have much of an ego?

... I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT (i simultaneuosly... hate myself but also think im the best)

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

SUCK WHO IS BITING THEM???

60. Do you talk to yourself?

SO FUCKING MUCH

61. Do you sing to yourself?

OBVIOUSLY

62. Are you a good singer?

... no but it doesnt stop me

63. Biggest Fear?

I HATE MIRRORS I HATE BATHROOM MIRRORS IN THE DARK THAT STUPID FUCKING CHANT I HATE IT I CANT SAY IT EVER ITS MY FEAR

64. Are you a gossip?

I dont want to be but I’m a gemini so it just HAPPENS

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

Man i dont even know just go watch Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I prefer to have mine long but i kinda wanna cut it, i LOOOVE guys with long hair

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Oh definitely Not

68. Favorite school subject?

ART or biology

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Nope!

71. What makes you nervous?

LOTS OF SHIT GOD BUT I HATE DOING A BAD JOB OR MAKING MISTAKES

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Sometimes, it just depends

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Hhhffudhdhhh only if I know I wont come off condescending

74. Are you ticklish?

YEAH BUT DONT TICKLE ME I KICKED MY CHUCKLEFUCK EX IN THE DICK ONCE FOR TICKLING ME, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT BUT U SHOULD STILL BE WARNED

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Dont think so

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Sometimes I told groups in school to just let me do all the work because I didn’t trust them with my grade.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

... like a few days ago but tbh alcohol is disgusting and i only wanna drink banana liquor or else i dont drink at all bc its gross

78. Have you ever done drugs?

I desperately wish i had more drugs in my life but i dont wanna come off as a crackhead

79. Who was your first real crush?

EITHER SPIDER-MAN OR YUGI MUTO

80. How many piercings do you have?

I WISH I HAD MY NIPPLE PIERCED SO BADLY... also if i HAD A DICK god nerf’d me I WOULD GET PIERCINGS UP MY DICK... also my (expensive) dream is to get like subdermal/metadermal? implants on my forehead and get devil horns

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Yep

82. How fast can you type?

I type... so fast

83. How fast can you run?

Maybe kinda fast but not for long

84. What color is your hair?

Naturally its brown but the bottom half is bleached and one side is yellow and the other is green

85. What color is your eyes?

Bluuue

86. What are you allergic to?

FIRE ANT BITES AND AMOXICILLIN AND I HAVE HAD HORRIBLE EXPERIENCES WITH BOTH

87. Do you keep a journal?

Kind of??? I have a poetry journal and I write dreams down sometimes.

88. What do your parents do?

My mom does like marketing and my dad does carpet cleaning

89. Do you like your age?

No I wanted to die at 12 and I wanna die now. The difference is I didn’t think I’d live this long so now I have no idea what I’m doing.

90. What makes you angry?

FUCKING EVERYTHING IF YOU DATE ME OR BEFRIEND ME YOU NEED TO KNOW I WILL RAGE ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING AND U CANNOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN LEST I FOAM AT THE MOUTH

91. Do you like your own name?

YEAH I PICKED IT!!! But i also wanna change it but i kinda cant bc Johnny from HU called me Reimond and they all know me as Reimond. But also I wanna be Lucifer Slade Solo.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

TOBIAS JEREMY AND EMELE CECILIA

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I’d be fine with either but tbh!!! Probably a boy.

94. What are you strengths?

HDHDUFHHH,, I NEVER TRULY GIVE UP I JUST GET ANGRIER. I’M INDEFATIGABLE

95. What are your weaknesses?

yelling. if you yell at me i will get upset. if im yelling its fine but if you yell i’ll cry. also roaches.

96. How did you get your name?

Well i consider Reimond the “masculine” version of my deadname!!! Technically there’s Racheal but it’d just get pronounced the same and I still have to correct people on Reimond (EVERYONE KEEPS THINKING IM SAYING RAYMAN) and Gerard is my middle name bc MCR, and I would love to change my last name lol.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not that I know of

98. Do you have any scars?

U ASKED THIS ALREADY

99. Color of your bedspread?

I have Star Wars sheets with Kylo Ren and storm troopers! I also have Spider-Man sheets.

100. Color of your room?

It’s like painted like a beige colour but most of my stuff is dark lol

[survivormontenegro]

Jury Rites of Passage

Before we wrap up this season, here’s what the final 4 had to say about our lovely jury.

Ali -  Alex, you were someone who from the cast reveal of this season I was honestly terrified of lowkey. You just give off such a smart, strategic energy that makes you someone who is very daunting to play against, particularly since we didn’t meet till merge and I had just heard stories about your influence from OG Durmitors. While I stand by the necessity of voting you out, in that you held a lot of sway over the tribe, and were seemingly tight with Jones and Mo, I genuinely was so sorry to see how upset you got in the aftermath of your vote. I felt like the move needed to be swift and clean to remove such a threat from the game, but I apologise, a move so brutal and so blindisde-y would’ve been rough to be apart of, and for that I’m really sorry.

Benj - You were one of the first people to make me feel welcome when we swapped together thank u for always being so open to things and ur passion for the game was undeniable.

Caeleb - I can’t tell if Alex is gonna hate me or respect me. Regardless, I had to vote him off because he was too strong of a player. Everyone was just waiting for his command and then running with it, and I didn’t want to play that game. Plus, I didn’t think that Alex was alwaysss being truthful with me and just pulling me along until he was done, so I kinda felt like we had a little showdown. It was either him or me, and while he’s a sweetheart and a really amazing guy, I kinda consider him my TS rival. Love ya. I’m glad we were able to crush butt with our Grandma’s Boys in the premerge.

Tom - oh boy big boy Alex you are a killa of a game player I must say going against you really spooked me because you had a solid group of people but I’m sorry it had to be done :(

Ali -  oh my god. When I saw that THE Jules was cast for this season, I can’t even describe how excited I was to play with you. Playing and working with you was everything I could’ve hoped for and more, you are smart, savvy and just a joy to talk to at all times, and we vibed on SO much this game. While I think your robbery was disgusting, I understand why others did it, your savvyness and strategic mind speak for themselves and you were of course a major threat. It’s been a pleasure to work with you and to be able to call you my friend.

Benj - LEGEND!!! When I saw you on the cast reveal I was actually shaking bc as u already know my friends who played almia with you said u were such a queen and so nice and they weren’t wrong!! It was a pleasure to get to play with you even though it was so short, and it was sad that we never really got to strategize and work together game wise but I enjoyed all of our talks sm!

Caeleb - Jules was always fun to talk to. She was super sweet and very good at figuring out where the majority was gonna be in the votes. I was really surprised that she cursed me because while I did tell her that I was gonna vote with her, I didn’t message her for a couple of hours before tribal so I didn’t think I was even being very believable. Overall tho Jules was sweet, fun, a bundle of astrology knowledge, and threw in a little bit of sass to make things lively and interesting.

Tom - wowee Jules you social butterfly icon. I’m sad you were eliminated and that I literally did not help at all by saving you I was in my inactive stage. I commend you on how bloody open you are about your sexuality and gender I guess you really are something special and this is not just because you’re on the jury I love how passionate you are about astrology and hopefully one day you can make something out of it

Ali -  I love you and stan you unapologetically. We had a bumpy ride this season, and my one regret from this season, was not telling you about the Alex vote. I’m sure you would’ve been down, and it burned a bridge for me with someone I genuinely trusted and had a lot of time for. While I think your blow-up was ill advised, given that me/Tom/Jason were angling to save you, I can’t fault you for distrusting me after the Alex vote. I felt awful voting you out but once you set my game on fire, with the choice being you vs Tom, I had to side with who had my back and I felt would be a consistent ally moving forwards, so kept Tom and voted for you. You were also apart of some of my highlights from this season, like calling to work through JJ’s… JJness or drinking white wine on the tribe call. I know you’ve now hexed me three times, but I’ll take being hexed a fourth time, if it means we can be friends after this.

Benj - I have never met anyone quite like you before in an org and even though we didn’t talk much your presence in the game was so fun from calls to call outs. Icon! My FB org friends stan u

Caeleb - Easily, the person I talked to the least in the merge, Ian included. For some reason, Julia didn’t want to talk game with me ever, even though we would vote the same. Every conversation we had would kinda trail off with her failing to respond. I know she was active in calls, and since I wasn’t I think that made her write me off. I kinda wish things were different and we could’ve had a different demeanor throughout the season. Who knows maybe we could’ve made something actually happen.

Tom - lol

Ali -  MY SON. The Nemo to my Marlin. While we like… never voted together from jury onwards, I am genuinely proud of you this season. We didn’t particularly vibe as players, and I don’t think I ever got the chance to see your strategic mind in action, but you played a great game this season, and I’m super proud of you. You kick-started some of the key debates of the season, like this stupid mountain llama mess, but you also kept the mood light and had a consistent positive impact on the season as a whole.

Benj - (El)MO! You were really nice in the game and we got along well on swapped tribe but didn’t have the best connection at merge so sadly ended up on the opposites sides a lot but I think u played a good game! I loved how happy u were to be here

Caeleb - A hero. I have such a tumultuous relationship now with Grandma’s Boys because I had to vote off Alex first, switch and vote Mo in the revote, and then fail to save Jones in F6. I think they might think I am a little bit scheming and never really was working with them, but honestly, I voted with Mo and Jones post Alex because they both were easily the most fun to talk to in the tribe. Mo was hilarious, a true king, and loyal to a fault. When Benj told me that he was voting Mo, I had a sinking feeling that Mo was gonna leave that day, but I held on hope that Ali would still vote Tom. I’m sorry that didn’t happen Mo.

Tom - this is a shame this one we got along quite well on durmitor then the tribe swap really uhm separated us literally. Two seperate bridges that just never came together unfortunately. Good luck and stay safe on that grindr game u play

Ali -  Okay… of all people this season, we have had the most rollercoaster ride I think possible. Whether you know it or not, from me almost voting you out prejury, to voting you publicly at F10, to us somehow working together moving forwards. While I knew you needed to go around the time you were idoled out, I was genuinely so sad to see you go home, because I think you played one of, if not the strongest game this season. You took my vote for you in your stride, and being on calls with you and our weird fake rivalry was so much fun. We were on the first cast reveal together, and I hope we can be friends after this season is all done.

Benj - omg MITCHHHH I wish you had stuck with my plan otherwise you prob would have stayed LOL. King you were one of my favs from the first tribe and we stuck it out thru the swap and kept working together for basically every vote until you left! It was so fun to play w you. Ps… I was the 2nd vote for you when Jared left LMAO… I ofc never wanted u gone but me and Ali didn’t want Jared blowing up the fact we were allies so had one of us randomly vote with him.

Caeleb - The strongest player in this season imo. Like everyone talks about Ali being the favored to win rn because of his immunity run and his social butterfly nature. Mitch was stronger strategically by far. His moves were calculated and always put him in a better spot than he was in before, while also never putting a target on his back. I had my eye on voting him for awhile, and when Jones wanted to idol him out it was like some ESP type shit. He was so strong, and also funny, this season would not have been what it was without him.

Tom - mmmmm big ol mitchy boi is it toiLET or toilet that’s the true question, an amazing ally friend and strategist who was skeptical of everything but had good intentions thank you for saving my ass in this game multiple times because I wouldn’t be here without you

Ali -  when people google robbery, if your picture is not the top result, i will SCREAM. It says a lot that we literally never voted together during merge, and yet I stanned for you with my whole heart, and would’ve voted for you in the end. You have this raw likability, that makes you the best ever, but also SUCH a threat in these games, and after your iconic idol play, it was incredibly clear that you were the biggest threat and so critically needed to be voted out. You are such a joy, and I hope we can be friends after the season.

Benj - JONES!!!!!!!!!! Omg I was gagged when I saw that you were playing this season I had heard a lot about you but never met you until now and I was sooooo excited when we got swapped together!! Joining your side back then was such a good decision and ty for making it so easy to accept me and I loved talking to u throughout the whole game even if we were basically on diff sides most of merge! You would have wiped the floor against anyone at the end and I know one day u will get ur win! ILY

Caeleb - My true Grandmother. Honestly, I hope that post-game we can rekindle and be harmonious because I TRULY thought that Jones was one of the friendliest, kind, and joyous people. I worked to get people to switch their votes from Jones in F6, but I kinda expected that it wouldn’t happen because even I recognized that no one could beat Jones in a FTC. I felt like Sierra voting off her mother in BvW. It was truly my saddest day in Montenegro BY FAR.

Tom - I’m sorry Tunnel vision really got you good, You played such an amazing game and honestly to get to final 6 the way you did you should be so proud, you were by far the biggest jury threat because everyone absolutely loved your personality including myself. I really hope we can keep talking on the outside and your artistry takes you amazing places

Ali -  I spent 40 days on a tribe with you, and I want to say it was a pleasure throughout. From talking about Big Little Lies to bonding over our warped sleeping patterns, we genuinely really vibed as people. One thing I loved about our relationship, was our ability to be rational and logical, even when we voted against each other, after the Jules and Ian votes particularly. I genuinely had so much respect for you as a player and your attitude after the Ian vote, and it was something I attempted to mirror after the Jules vote. You had to go at F5, because you played a phenomenal game, surviving being one vote from going home at merge, and it was for that reason I had to vote you out, but it’s been a pleasure, all fourty days of it.

Benj - We had the most up and down relation probably of anyone LOL from me voting you 4 times to us working together for the rest, it really was a ride and even tho we weren’t the most connected im so glad u had such a great season to return to after so long !

Caeleb - Omg go get ur Donna Summer record. Jason was probably the person I talked to a bunch but barely talked game with. We were always on differing sides of the vote, and kinda to my own demise for many of those, but as a result we talked about different things like eggs and records and gay stereotypes. It was a bold and profitable move when we talked post-Ian vote and set us both up for success for the rest of merge. Let's talk soon :)

Tom - Ahhhhhhh my closest ally in this game, i am so proud of the way we survived this game. I was really skeptical about working with you on budva but i am so glad i stuck to my gut of working with you and ian. Round 1 of merge we got absolutely blindsided and destroyed and every since then we had to fight so damn hard every single round to survive together. We were arguably the tightest duo in the game, we voted together every single round , 23 votes combined 8 tribal councils we were targeted at yet we made final 5 together. Through the dark times we stayed loyal to each other and got ourselves in such an amazing position in this game by getting with mitch and ali whilst also working caeleb. We truly went from the bottom to the fucking top and as much as i dont think i can pull this one out for us, i will give it my best shot. It was an amazing experience with you through all of our paranoia and stress that people were going to split us apart. Lets hope lightning strikes twice and i can pull out this win for you and ian because you both deserve to be right next to me <3 <3 Luv you mountain llama <3 <3