#and then i forgot my water bottle

[frostleni]

Hurry... he has to go play mermaids

[atlaese]

did i come online just to reblog one gifset of matt murdock in a flannel? yes, of course.

will i go back to screaming because my life is so busy and I'm hanging on by a thread? also yes.

[heaven-helpus]

holy water jupmpscare

[suappang]

first day of grad school and i survived ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )

[detentiontrack]

I wish Adderall was like birth control implants where you get it placed once and it lasts for 5 years so you don't have to remember to take it every day

[asexualasshat]

Okay I’m envisioning this as platonic but hear me out but what if back when Jonathan is just a little 14 year old and it’s a few months into high school. Kids who were his friends in middle school now avoid him like the plague. It makes sense why he got less and less calls to hang out over the summer. The only person who’s remotely near his orbit is Nancy wheeler, but they only talk when it comes to their bothers, which isn’t often these days since Nancy doesn’t spend much time with Mike. So he’s alone. But he’s fine, he’s mostly content with himself.

He’s usually busy with his brother, anyway. A few years back Will and his friends started playing dnd. And Will loves it. It’s one of the few things that really gets him talking these days. So Jonathan has heard quite a lot about it. Right now, Will is planning his first campaign. And Will is wonderfully creative, but he’s also painfully insecure. So he’s struggling. He’s always asked to pass his chance to dm before because he didn’t feel it would be nice enough. But Mike gave him a pep talk, so he’s doing it. But the first session is next week and he’s getting nowhere.

So he and Jonathan talk about it. They figure out some minor details, but little else. Still, Jonathan jots down some notes so he can try and percolate on it.

And a day or two laters he’s hiding outside at the back of the school at lunch. And who walks by but this guy he knows from his math class with hair awkwardly to his chin. Eddie Munson. And usually he doesn’t say anything, actually he’s never said a word to Eddie. But Jonathan knows that last year, someone started a DND club at school. And Eddie? In it.

So Jonathan flags him down. And Eddie was expecting Jonathan to be buying, since he’d picked up a dealing gig over the summer. But no. Instead Jonathan whips out his notebook. Explains that his kid brother is trying to dm but he’s stuck and could use some advice. So Eddie’s a bit shook. But then he’s Eddie so he’s like ‘hit me’

And he spitballs a few ideas. Gives some dming advice. It’s maybe a ten minute conversation. And then they part ways cordially.

Will already knows about the highschool club, Jonathan had excitedly told him weeks ago. But now he tells Will he talked to a guy there and got some advice. Will takes it into consideration. Some ideas he rolls with. Others aren’t quite right, but it usually sets him off with another idea. The advice seems to help. Rather than dejectedly staring at his books, he’s making little bullet point notes and reading paragraphs rapidly.

The first few sessions go well. A few weeks later, he’s approached by Eddie at lunch again. They talk about it. Jonathan honestly can’t keep up with details much, but relays what he knows. Eddie talks about though how he has been a dm before, he’s being allowed to run a one shot for the club for the first time. So he gets the nerves.

Again, the conversation is short.

They rarely talk. Only in these bursts every month or two. It’s unclear why they can’t mesh the friendship gap. Maybe because they’re both broke freaks, you’d think they’d be a perfect match. But for some reason they never bridge the gap. They almost exclusively talk about whatever campaign Will kid is involved with, be it dming or playing.

So when it’s time for the kids freshman year, Eddie is looking out. He knows Jonathan’s brother won’t be there, that he’d moved. But he knows his friends are here. He figures out who they are pretty much right away. And sure, maybe it makes him latch on a little extra since Jonathan talked so fondly about them.

Time passes and spring break is over. And everyone is back in hawkins and moods are low. But Jonathan has been given the rundown on everything Eddie did to help. And how he almost died but sure didn’t.

For the record, Max is also fine and is just down the hall. She’s recovering and taking a pleasant nap from which she’ll awake within a few hours.

So Eddie’s in his hospital bed and will comes in with the kids, on a visiting rotation kinda thing. And they’re taking. And then Jonathan is like “oh, hey will. Remember the guy from school I’d asked dnd questions to? That’s Eddie.”

And everyone’s eyes light up. They all knew Will had gotten big kid advice. Over the years, every now and then one of them would pester Jonathan to go get answers. And occasionally, Jonathan obliged. He’d not wanted to bother Eddie too often.

And Eddie is also still really excited that he’s meeting will the wise, in the flesh, even though they’d met for the first time a few days before. And so he’s like “you know, Will. Every one of these morons in here won’t shut up about you.”

And will is blushing but everyone is having a great time. And they’re tentatively planning a one shot for once they’re discharged.

And Eddie and Jonathan talk more in coming times. About how they’d each been too oddly nervous to approach the other for actual friendship. Jonathan had seemed to look like he’d rather be alone. And Eddie had seemed to look like he’d leave Jonathan behind. Neither true, but the feelings were valid. But they’re kinda bonded now.

Maybe even to the extent that Jonathan might try playing again

[aria0fgold]

Drinking water the way that I do is like orz... Why'd I have to get used to drinking water like this, water just went down my shirt AUGH

[mindofeloquence]

-

[bangcakes]

.

[misanaco]

love is in all the places you forget to look at, and all the places you remember to.

i always believed loving was the act of reciprocation. the kind of love where iron rots away underneath the weight of our molars and we lose six of our teeth to look like the little children from seven years ago. in my head, my friends loved me, which is to say, i loved them. i always believed loving was the act of reciprocation, four years later, when i was no longer eleven and my friends laughed at me until i started to look like i would snitch to the teacher. but i would never. i bite love under my teeth to be a good friend.

and i would always believe love was a damaged bullet. sometimes it took it four years to hit an empty shell.

and richocet.

it took us six months to do away with my feet, where my bones crumbled under the weight of looking at you one by one; and we would stop talking only to meet each other again and fall in love in a boring month. when i told my best friend about it, she thought i seemed too serious for it to be a real thing and we laughed it off as a joke. and three months in you would say you loved me almost too much for it to exist in this world, and because love was an act of reciprocation; my sincerity had gotten to you. i used to believe love was a damaged bullet, and it would almost always crash before hitting the target, which is to say we would never make it but we meant to.

what does it take for a broken arrow to miss its target and return to the archer; i found out broken things never knew to richocet. and i save recordings on my phone until it's out of storage right back from the day you leave and the love is still there. too much of it. i have always been at war with myself since the day you left, and i have been looking for peace only to end up with martyrs, and a doomed hometown.

and then, i associate love with vision; maybe god created me first when he built these eyeballs, and i look at you down to the folds of skin underneath yours. and then, loving is the act of looking.

maybe as much as i long to see you again, i also dread it; because i would eat away my tongue for the loss of language. maybe i would simply look at you then. and love is the act of looking. maybe love is not reciprocation because i did not stop loving you long after you left too, and i am looking at you constantly and there is just about enough love in this world. i think the thing about love is that it comes in places where it is useless. maybe that is why i am the only one looking.

because if you looked back, we could make so much use out of it.

two weeks into being heartbroken over our breakup, my mother would say God is everywhere, with so much conviction in her words that i almost end up looking at God, with my hands in my lap - useless and empty, and wondering how to catch him. a week later i would walk upto her and ask her where that is and she would look at me in disbelief as if i could not see something so obvious for myself - but to see, you must first love. she would then drag me out of the house and tell me the sky is blue over houses where children starve to death and become orphans, their mothers constantly begging god to fix their cursed fate, and she tells me if they looked up, they would realise there is so much life in them. and the act of looking is as useless as the act of loving - because the two are the same - because you could just choose where to lay your eyes.

maybe you would be crying and your eyes would be fixed at the turn of the wall of the room, your knees bent at the floor like the world were crumbling and then, you would just be looking. maybe you could see the weeds blooming out of the iron odour of filthy blood. she would say love is in every place you forget to look at, and in every place you remember to. she means to talk about God, but everytime she talks of religion it is almost hard to not talk about love.

i also wonder if love is also as omnipresent as God, and why the two are so hard to find. and then i wake up at 6am but there is the crisp odour of burnt charcoal and a little, little sound of death, and i almost feel nice because everyone is just sleeping soundly beside each other - before i realise how fucked everything is. maybe death is such a curse because there is love. maybe we are scared of war more for this love than the dead bodies. and then, you.

maybe i am still alive even though you do not love me back, and the weight of this love is almost making me uglier, but i am glad i love you like this. i am glad i am looking for god in everything you left behind that you deemed useless, and in the soil that i chew so i can do away with the sound of war, and in the trees and in 6am, everywhere. which is to say i am glad i am looking for love everywhere. and loving is the act of looking. i believe i have almost never realised how there is so much i could take for myself, and be the lover of- because loving is the act of looking. and as long as i can deem myself the lover of everything, they could take away my eyeballs too - and i would still find god at the tips of your fingertips. they are almost too heavenly, too gorgeous and there are heartbeats in my throat. maybe i could survive this apocalypse for you. maybe loving is not the act of reciprocation like i used to think. it's vision.

and i am glad you could almost never take away my vision. and love is in all the places you forgot to look at, and all the places you remembered to. maybe love is not inside me and i am inside love, and my mother is tugging at my sleeves and pushing me to look at the photograph she received of me before she went through the labor of giving birth to me. and she says i look like her before placing her lips at the top of my forehead (she looks like the last person to like herself). and she is placing a photograph into my palms of my father holding me almost too tender and i realise i am not so damaged - after losing you. maybe he has always held me this tender, even when he makes me cry. and i despise cruelty, but i see mother laughing her flesh out - heartily - looking at the old sd card she looks almost too happy about finding while cleaning the house. look.

sd card. no memory of you. and i almost feel blind.

[werewolf-transgenderism]

HEARTBREAKING: sleepy cozy warm person had to briefly leave the cozy warmth of their bed

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I am like, VIVIDLY dehydrated right now

[okcoolthanks]

IIIIIIII LEFT MY WATER BOTTLE AT HOMMMEEE

[diamondnokouzai]

Think I May Have Just Been Hungry + Thirsty.

[spooked-skull-studios]

silas on his way to go sleep at 3am and wake up early 3 days in a row (is he stupid?)

[complexedandfruity]

ok i think the lactose intolerance is real bc the airport iced chai i had like 2 hours ago is kicking my entire ass rn