#and then i cough like a bitch cause i dont smoke

[yokakaiju]

i got bored and made a tierlist based off who smokes the most weed

justifications under cut

so like i made this cause its funny first and foremost, but i did put like somewhat actual thought into this. not much, but synapses were firing in my brain putting this together

also im not tagging everyone, ill just like pick 2 or whatevs

okay so first up is chidaruma. dude prolly invented weed ngl. you know he's smoked everyway imaginable: blunt, pipe, bong, can, apple, vape, synthesized, edible, hotbox, blower; you name it, he's done it. he's kinda over it, but he's still up there just cause like... idk he is and won't take criticism

haru is a beautiful weed smoking gf thats literally it

13's entire schedule is probably wake up, smoke, jerk off, sleep, eat, smoke, jerk off, eat, smoke, repeat. he also would probably kin jesse pinkman

ton is a bitch and smokes all the cross-eye commanders weed. like they'll save up for MONTHS to get like 5oz (one for each of them :3) and he'll be like, "woah! a bag of weed!" and smoke it ALLLLLL in like an hour. he's like a truffle pig for weed, they can try to hide it but his ass always finds it and smokes it all. he would prolly also call it za or skunk or some shit like that

ebisu isn't quite in the high 24/7 catagory, but she could be. dawg loves weed, like she is also 100% a fucking master at rolling blunts she rivals chidaruma at it. rolling blunts is like a sport for her tbh

aikawa's gotta cope dawg. like if he aint at school or currently being possed by demons his ass is smokin that shit bruh he needs a minute to chill. also he's got crazy money (kai's money but shhh) so he might as well spend it on his pookie <3 (risu)

noi may be controversial being up so high, but hear me out. weed smoking gf? i think yes B) mogs at you

asuka also has to cope, but its cause shes a blackpilled femcel (her own words i stg)

chota would smoke, but he hates the smell and doesn't want it to ruin his clothes and shit. he prolly wears like silk gowns and dances around to madonna while trippin off like 10g. he's livin the life tbh

OKAY HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT johnston. fucking johnston is only i repeat ONLY UP HERE‼️ because kasukabe gives him those little non thc thc pills people give to dogs with anxiety and agression issues to keep him calm

poor dokuga cant share with his besties so he's been condemed to eating edibles alone... also smoking/inhaling smoke makes him drool a bit so like a bit deadly for everyone around him to even try. i like, debated on putting him in never, but tetsujo prolly cooks smth up for him so he doesn't feel left out <3

natsuki is only at the top of sometimes because she probably would more if she had money. also she sucks in a blunt rotation cause her ass ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL tries to hold it in and always coughs like a mfer and taps out after like one hit

vaux just makes sense. he looks like an average 30-40smth nu metal oldhead, theres no way he DOESNT smoke at least a little. id put him in 100% but he's also a fairly responsible doctor so liek idk

kasukabe doesnt as much anymore, mostly only when he's with haru, but he still does sometimes for funsies cause he's just chiil like that :3

tetsujo doesn't thattt much cause it fucks with his already dog shit depth perception super bad, but sometimes if ton or the others dont find it he shares it with dokuga and they like yuri pose and eat edibles together or smth idk

ik kaiman is gonna be controversial being so low, but listen. 1) his ass is too focused on socerers and shit to care 2) he's dirt poor. he simply cannot afford it 3) how tf is he gonna smoke with no lips? that blunt would just get chewed to shit. like genuinely he would maybe get one singular edible if nikaido or vaux were feeling nice, but other than that its like, idk almost never for him

i would but shin in never, but ik noi is like "boss!!!! come take hits off this bong with me!! its gonna be so sick omg you HAVE to come smoke with me RN!!!!" and he'd be like "sighhhhhh... anything for my weed smoking gf ig..."

ushishimada is only so low cause i feel like he's too mothery to smoke a lot? like, he's too responsible, but not responsible enough to outright say no. also they're poor asf and ton always smokes it all

fukuyama would get his ass kicked by tanba if he found out, but ik dawgs gotta take a load off sometimes tbh

now again, controversial take but i have reasons. risu is so fucking poor. like, genuinely he is too worried about his tuition, bills, and groceries to give af about it (also cause aikawa is a bitch and makes him pay for everything cause "i forgot my wallet oopsie :3c"). now aikawa does supply him tho and he hooks him up with the primo shit ong. so at least when he does smoke he smokes that good shit (also they yuri pose as well while they smoke)

again, saji is too mommy to smoke that much weed (also another case of being too poor). bro doesn't want his clothes and needlework to smell like shit, which i respect

ai 100% would if his ass wasnt so busy with his damn self expiramentation bs. like, he wants to smoke so bad tbh, but he's like "sigh i gotta work on my plans to rebuild my body from the ground up.. maybe tomorrow" stares longingly out the window imagining how cool smoking weed is

again, kai's over here fuckin "i have to go to work" like he genuinely just doesn't care or have time. he's never even thought about it tbh, like you're tellin me this mfer has had a single thought outside of total domination in his entire existance??? HELL NAH HIS ASS DOES NOT THINK HE HAS ZERO THOUGHTS IN HIS HEAD I STG

now this may also be controversial. why isn't by beautiful coquette cottagecore angelcore babe out there rolling and smoking the fattest blunts known to man? turkey just like doesnt feel it. its not for her tbh. she tried smoking, she tried edibles. she just wasnt a fan tbh. like, she'll cook up some of the tastiest edibles you've ever had if you ask, but she just aint a fan

kirion also just doesn't feel it tbh. again, its not for her and thats alright

wow surprise surprise another controversial take. like, before you get mad just think abt it for a sec. like, she's so fucking business first and always has been that i think she would just see it as a major hinderance on her job performance, as well as the performance of her employees later down the line. now im not saying she's a narc or hardass about it, im saying she just doesn't feel it. the high she gets from people enjoying her food and making money is enough for her tbh. also she does do edibles sometimes, but mostly like when it rains in hole to make it a little less miserable and painful

en is about the same. like, he def has. he's just like, idk. he doesnt wanna. its not for him anymore. he doesn't care if anyone in the family does it, but they better not sacrifice the quality of their work for it. like if he catches you high on the job its prolly like some sort of repremanding, but off the clock he dont gaf

genuinely copy paste nikaidos shit for tanba. he's too worried about his business to even consider smoking weed

now... kawajiri is a fucking narc and a half. his ass would be like "erm ☝️🤓 well actually" and then give a big long speech about how weed is bad blah blah blah whatever no one cares dawg stop fuckin yappin. but like, he's just pissed cause no one will smoke with him or share their weed with him cause he's such a hardass

fujita is kinda weed smoking gf coded, but like ik his ass would be like "EN! EN! I SAW EBISU SMOKING A BLUNT THE SIZE OF HER OWN FOREARM AND TRYING TO SHARE IT WITH KIKURAGE!!! YOU NEED TO STOP HER RN!!!!" but hes only like this cause when he was in a blunt roation with shin, noi, and ebisu they all told him holding it in made you higher, but he ended up puking and they all laughed at him and made fun of him for it because hes a fucking idiot. so now he's an evil little narc who squeals to en when he even catches a whiff of a skunk like scent

curse is a bitch and ik his ass is like "RAAAHHHH‼️ I GOTTA GO KILL THE CROSS-EYES BOSS RAHHH‼️ I NEED TO SEEK REVENEGE FOR MY MURDER RAHHHHHH‼️" like dawg chill tf out be so real rn. he's too focused on revenge and shit to smoke and like, i think if he did smoke and kai also smoked they'd have beautiful hot sexy yaoi, thats just me tho

oh my god shou is such a bitch about it. like sure kawajiri gives lectures about the "scary true reality of weed" and fujita is a narc, but this guy. oh my god this mfer. THIS IS THE REAL REASON EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT HIM ITS CAUSE THEY KNOW HIS ASS IS GONNA WHINE AND BITCH AND MAKE YOU GO TO LIKE AA OR NA OR WHATEVER FOR IT!!!! HE'LL START CALLIN YOI AND ADDICT AND SAYIN ITS A GATEWAY AND SHIT AND HOW THE DEVILS WILL IMMEDIATLY DRAG YOI TO HELL AND TORTURE YOU FOREVER IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT OH MY BALLS

kikurage is literally just a dog dawg. her ass dont even know what weed is

store crow mauler is like... idk man. idk how it would smoke weed or if it even knows or cares what weed is. whatever, its kinds like a pet so whatevs

[sommerregenjuniluft]

lune baby i want to hear ALL about your saphic bartylily, bartylus, bartyregulily. please please please 🙏

royal hi ily i booted my laptop back up to answer this cause i have Things to say:

starting with sapphic bartylily this goes famously well along with this post i made a while a go with mtf barty. i just see them sitting on a roof of the school, smoking together, maybe even sharing one and just,, b noticing the look lily gets in her eyes, like she wants to kiss, and she's immediately closing off, playful razer sharp smile fading away and she goes "I'm not a boy." and lily looks her right in the eyes responding "I know," and then puts her face right in front of bee's....... like it's salvation and utter ruin all in one for b to experience someone truly seeing her and wanting her despite of everything and because she is the way she is. like,,,,, i'm so insane about this. and they won't last. and while lily might not, b knows it. she's going to show lily a new side of herself, help her overcome the struggles of feeling like she has to fit in because she's likeable enough and fills the criteria. they will go on adventures adn they will have fun and they will grow close. they will intertwine and then lily will grow farther. she will move on and bee will stay there because that's what b does. she doesn't really have the ambition to get somewhere and no matter how hard lily tries and fights to show b that in return, that she deserves to dream of something bigger and strive for more, she leaves unsuccessfully. all the conselation lily gets, is knowing she made b's life easier even if just for a while. and that bee will carry that around with herself forever with a genuine smile tugging at her lips. big fan of bee calling lily red as a nickname in that one. (love me a lily with truly dark red, auburn hair)

for bartylus i'm refering you to this microfic. there's not a lot of difference to mlm bartylus to me. they're still a secret third thing and inexplicably linked. mentally, physically, in their soul. barty still likes poking fun at regulus but will always, always protect her tooth and nail. they're probably more bad for each other than they are good but they need each other still. barty is comfort for regulus, she is distraction and whiplash and the adrenaline rush in regulus' blood stream. she's what keeps reg going and vise versa. barty lives to protect and entertain regulus and let herself be reigned back in by her. they're guard dog and owner. they're god and a person kneeling in the pew (cough mitski reference). they're worsties. they're each other's most important person.

last but not least bartyregulily. actually have not thought about these as a dynamic together so far so this will be a little rougher probably. regardless of whatever they are, i just know barty is constantly in heaven. she is absolutely just thriving. just two cute little things on either arm at all times. she's won the lottery. she's ascended, she's in heaven. dont call dont text she is probably busy eating pussy as we speak. barty probably first takes notice of lily because of regulus bitching about her and noticing the small notes of intrigue in her condescending tone. probably starts bothering lily from then on all the time, getting on her nerves and in her way on purpose and regulus always hangs around with, throwing in one or two snide remarks, reitering what barty's doing and only driving lily up the wall more. but then some times barty and reg will just plop down next to lily at lunch or in the library and actually be kind of funny and entertaining and cute when they're not actively trying to make lily's daily life a misery. all that probably ends with barty shoving herself into a cleaning closet behind reg and lily as they bicker and demand they stfu and kiss about it. like,, literally tuck a piece of lily hair behind her ear and whisper all close, taking one of regulus' hands and setting it on lily's jaw. shuffling up behind her and pulling reg closer by the hips until lily and reg are just a hair width apart. then barty makes out with reg over lilys shoulder which is all kinds of world altering and panties wetting and exciting. yeah idk i will report back with more thoughts on them probably fkfjlsdf

[vesicapiscean]

I dont hate my room mate but I really wish I didn't live with him anymore. he left weed brownies on the counter the other day and my dog ate them. he's an alcoholic so we can't keep anything in the house that we want o keep for ourselves cause it'll legit just be gone within a few days with no comment. he's messy af and forgetful and leaves shit out for days. weeks even if we dont make it apparent that shit needs to be cleaned. doesn't take care of himself and is always smoking/drinking and coughing like he's going to hack up a lung or otherwise waking up at 3pm puking LUOUDLY and disgustingly for the whole house to hear. and to top it all off he has this annoying as fuck mean ass BITCH normie of a girlfriend who's always here and always being loud as fuck about how she's hungover, wants to go drink, craving a mimosa, failing her classes, fighting with her friends. they are both so s o so so so fucking annoying and by no means people I would want in my life if the circumstances allowed for it but him living here makes our rent only like $350 but honestly I dont really care about that and I want him GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[nuka-rockit]

If you could change anything about the family (the mutant blood cannibals living under the meresti station jic you forgot) what would it be

make em live up to their theme. everyone gets a cloak and has to hiss at the sun

[dmc-tings]

Sooooo, what about a child who’s a vessel from hollow knight and they have a shy and nervous personality about the outside and how would they react to the 4 lords? (Or maybe get adopted)

Not very familiar with the actual lore of Hollow Knight, so I looked up a little bit of what it was. Still confused, I'm trying.

Hollow Knight Vessel and the Four Lords

Alcina Dimitrescu

"What a ghastly little thing."

Where the first words you heard from Lady Dimitrescu

You looked at your feet... or nubs

This woman was mean...

She bent down to get a better look at you

"What, pray tell, is your business here?"

A plume of smoke hitting your face

Coughing and waving the smoke away, you still didn't look up

"I... i..." You where lost

"Hummm." She straightened up

Bela spoke up, "can we keep it, Mother?"

The Lady looked down at you, then plucked you up by the nape of your neck

Gently she held you, inspecting you with a black eye

"It will stay here... and not be harmed."

You sore you saw some empathy in her eyes

Her tone said otherwise, though

She put you on her shoulder

This started a trend, you always on her shoulder

You even went to meetings with her, due to your quiet nature, she forgot you were there

You didn't mind though, it was nice for the large lady to keep you around

Alcina understood your body language, to her surprise

And you were comforted by her large stature

Despite her strict and ferocious disposition, you knew she had adopted you as her own

Angie and Donna Beneviento

Donna found you in the garden

You were shivering and almost unconscious

She wrapped you up in her dress, trying to warm you

Angie watched over you as you recovered, making sure you kept warm

It was several days before you came to

When you did, you were met with "Hey! What are you!?"

Shocked and scared, backing away into the corner of the wall

You shook with fear, nearly crying

Donna gently pulled you to her side

Comforting you, which worked, and you looked at the woman and doll

"Again. I ask, what are you? Your not a doll... or a human..." Angie mused, looking you over

You just pushed your head into Donna's side again

"Angie. Leave them alone." Donna whimpered, not wanting to upset you further

"Im... im lost..." You murmured

It was true, you were hit with a bright light and found yourself in this frozen land

Afraid and tired, you collapsed in the garden

Donna and Angie cared for you, which gave you a little bit of trust in them

For the following months, the pair kept you in and around the estate

Not letting you out of their sight, and tending to your needs

Comfortable with the two, you rarely left their side

Angie, being the most rambunctious of the pair, kept you entertained

And Donna, though quiet, made you feel safe and protected

Your shy nature, intrigued them

It was your silence that made them keep you

It was nice

And you appreciated being around them

Salvatore Moreau

You ran, at first

Moreau spotted you hopping from rock to rock

When he called out to you, you rushed away

He followed

Squeezing into the smallest crevice you could find you, nearly, escaped his grasp

"C-come out... little thing... I shall not harm you." He promised

You cautiously stepped out, him stepping back to look at you

You looked up at him, and he down at you

"Curious little thing..." he mumbled

You looked up, as he spoke

"H-hello..."

He was surprised that you didn't run away from him, or scream

He leaned down, offering his hand to you

You obliged by stepping on to it

He lifted you up to his eye level

Studying you for a moment

"Are you alright?"

You nodded your response

"Not hurt?" He looked you over once again

You let him, seeing as that he wasn't harming you

"I... im... I dont..." You struggled to say

He gently hushed you, soothing you a little bit

He took you to his reservoir, into his humble abode

He made you a small bed on his table

And gently sat you on your temporary home

"Hungry?" He offered you an odd looking pie

Which you gratefully took, digging in

It didn't look delicious, but it was quite yummy!

And it satisfied your hunger

This started a new friendship

Moreau enjoying your comfortable silence

And you enjoying his ramblings about his family and his experiments

Eventually you got brave enough to ask him about helping

Which he joyfully accepted

You started to be come his apprentice

To your delight you liked

Karl Heisenberg

Karl made a face at you

Had he made you?

Naw... he wouldn't make something so... small...

You were itty-bitty..

You looked at him, fear in your round eyes

A giant, (to you) with a GIANT hammer!

He sighed, throwing his cigar to the side, he bent down, kneeling infront of you

"Look, kid... thing... whatever you are, I aint gonna hurt you." He spoke, as softly as he could

You shuffled away from him as he did so

Karl knew he was intimidating, but not THAT intimidating, the giant bitch was more so, in his opinion

"You wanna come with me? You could get trampled by the lycans out here." He waved his hand to the surroundings

You looked around, not saying anything but nodding at him

Taking that as an ok, he plucked you up, by the small cape your wore around your shoulders

Then placed you in his shoulder, due to him really not wanting to carry you

He took you back to the Factory, right into his quarters

You felt safe next to the man, seeing as how you saw some of the monsters around the place

"And you can stay here, while you figure yourself out." He pointed at a small box, that had some rags he had gathered together

You cautiously touched the rags, then buried yourself in them

It wasn't home, but it was comfortable

You murmured your thanks as you fell asleep

This continued for a few days

Him coming and going, and you looking around the room he left you in

Eventually you got a bit bolder, crawling into his pockets and staying there as he walked around

He forgot your presence, and lit a cigar

Causing you to cough, to which he promptly put it out

"Sorry, kid."

Like Alcina, he would bring you to the "family" meetings

And due to being in his pocket, you were easily hidden

You practically became his kid

And seeing as he called you such, it fit

[santacarlasweetheart]

Back Door Man

hi! this is the first fic i have EVER written ! based on my honey @theyreonlynoodlesmike ‘s hc (that cracks me up every time) that Paul has a thing for married for women <3

Warnings: swearing, discussions of sex, paul being gross 

------------------------------------------------

An unmistakable howling laugh echoed off the walls of the cave. 

David looked up from the book in his lap to see the tall, slender blonde bounding down the entry stairs. “Do I even wanna know what kinda trouble you just caused?”

Paul laughed, tossing his head back as he rocked on his heels “Oh man you guys are gonna flip-”

“At this point you couldn’t surprise us if you tried Paul.” Dwayne hadn’t turned to look away from the crate that held a portion of their vinyl collection. Kneeled down next to it and flipping through records, he was seemingly uninterested in the other man’s antics. His indifference was simply an act though, he was always willing to hear about his friends’ escapades.

“Nah nah nah, this is a new one.” Paul had made his way over to one of the couches by now, opening up the large steamer trunk that acted as both storage and a makeshift coffee table. “So,” he spoke as he dug around in the trunk, looking for his pot stash to roll himself his usual post romp joint. “I was with that babe from the diner, ya know-”

“Wow, never heard this one before.” Marko commented from beside him on the couch, cutting Paul off before he could even name the woman in question.

“Wouldya shut up and let me tell my story! Jeez, anyway,” He was bent over his rolling tray now, nimble fingers quickly moving through long practiced motions. “She takes me home. It’s this real nice place in the suburbs, cute lil’ house. So, we’re gettin’ down to business,” He wiggles his eyebrows, mostly to himself, but also on the off chance one of his friends might actually be paying attention to him “Right on the living room couch dude, she didn’t even bother to take me to the bedroom.”

“Nice.” Marko says and at the same time David sighs out “Gross.”

“Yo, Dwayne you want me to roll you one before I put this shit away?” Paul paused his story, he might have been Santa Carla’s biggest sleaze but he always had manners when it came to his friends.

“Yes please.” The brunette responded as he finally settled on a record, standing up from where he'd been crouching. “Might make your grossness a little easier to stomach.” A smile tugged at his lips as he turned to join them in the sitting area.

“So,” Paul huffed out a laugh, both at Dwayne’s response and the direction his story was going in. “I’m like, straight up goin’ to town on her,” He leans back in his seat, tipping his head back as he raises his voice for emphasis. “She’s screaming, clawin’ at my back and shit. Like a damn cat in heat. And then.” He pauses to lick the joint between his fingers and pass it to Dwayne. David rolled his eyes at the lull. He thought after sixty-something years he’d be used to Paul’s inability to smoothly tell a story, but that day was yet to come. “And then I hear somethin’, sounds like a car pulling up in front of the house. I dont really think anything of it because fuck if I care right?” He pauses yet again to put his own joint into his mouth, light it and take his first hit. “I keep goin’. I’m tryna get my rocks off after all. She’s tugging at my hair and shit. She's got this absolute vice grip on my-”

“PLEASE don’t say dick.”

“My waist, you fuckin’ pervert,” And if that wasn’t the pot calling the kettle black. “Absolutely screaming my name, the neighbors could probably hear.” 

“Paul,” Marko said, turning in his seat on the couch so he could look at his best friend. “This sounds exactly like every other sexcapde you’ve ever told us about.”  As Marko was chastising him, Paul had started to shrug out of his jacket, and that’s when the dark brown splotch on the shoulder of his white shirt came into view. “Is that fucking blood!?” Marko was painfully aware of the way his voice came out almost like a screech.

David’s head actually snapped up at that, tossing his book into his chair and moving to sit on the arm of the sofa in one fluid motion. “Jesus Christ, Paul.” 

Dwayne looked over at the three blondes, his brown eyes gone wide and his brows knitted together in concern.

Paul barked out a laugh, “I'm getting there you dipshits! Also, I’m obviously fine, creature of the night just like you three. Remember?” His companions relaxed slightly, he did have a point after all. However, he now had their full attention. “Where was I? Oh yeah yeah, I’m nailing her and suddenly. The fuckin’ front door opens.” 

David pinches the bridge of his nose.

Marko’s eyes widened slightly, his eyebrows shooting up towards his hairline. He was pretty sure he knew where this story was going. 

“Oh man!” Dwayne was starting to giggle as he leaned back into his chair.

“It’s her god damn husband,” Pauls talking with his hands now, the way he always does when he starts getting to the good part of his stories. As he gestures, Marko plucks the joint from between his fingers and takes a drag. “Not boyfriend, not fiancé. Husband. He was supposed to be on a business trip or some shit I don’t know. Point is, he was home early and he was pissed.” 

“He walked in on you screwing his wife,” David interjected as he slid his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. “Of course he’s pissed.” The other three men snickered at his remark.

“Dude starts screaming. At me, at her, oh my god it was madness. I’ve never pulled out so fast in my life.” 

Dwayne chokes on the smoke he had been pulling into his lungs and doubles over, laughing between coughs. “Ya know what,” He says as he rests his cheek against his knee, “For some reason I believe you.”

“He got outta that pussy at warp speed.” Marko giggled quietly. 

“Hey, hey hey!” Paul said as he turned to Marko, taking the last hit off the joint. “It’s my story, I’m the one with the jokes here.”

“Can we please get to why you're bleeding.” David said, gesturing at Paul’s shoulder. 

“Yeah yeah, grouchy bitch.” He drops the roach into the closest ashtray, settling into the couch to finish the rest of his story. “I grab my shit and I’m tryna get outta there. Zero interest in being in the middle of the start of the divorce-”

“Like you’re not the reason for the divorce.”

“Pants on, shoes on, shirt halfway on, jackets in my hand. There was no way in hell I was gonna get between them, so I turned my happy ass around, go to the kitchen. Hopin’ and prayin’ this place has a back door-” Paul’s abruptly cut off by Marko barking out a laugh.

“I’m a back door man!” The smallest blonde belts out, poorly and off key.

“Imma. Back. Door. Man!” Dwayne joins in, tilting his head back with his eyes shut. Like he’s singing to the ceiling of the cave.

David can’t help the little smirk that forms on his face, hearing his friends poorly belting out The Doors’ version of what they had decided was Paul’s song. Paul is currently grinning like a maniac and isn't bothered by yet another interruption of his story. “Okay, okay. Get on with it.” 

“Right yeah, we’re comin’ to the end here. Thank the lord in Heaven, there was in fact a back door. A screen backdoor that slammed behind me, you guys know how fucking loud those things are.” Paul sighs. “I take off, climb the fence, but “Mr. Can’t Satisfy His Wife” comes out behind me, onto the porch. Next thing I know, I hear a gunshot.”

“Sweet Christ.” David mumbles.

“He fucking shot you Paul?” Marko practically growls. Paul looks over at him nonchalantly and nods, smirking ever so slightly at Marko’s protective rage. 

“Dude.” Dwayne says as he adjusts himself in his chair yet again, “You gotta stop sleeping with married women.”

“Not a chance in hell Dwayne-O.” Paul says, his face splitting into a full grin, like he's the cat that got the cream. 

[brelione]

Protect You (JJ Maybank X Reader)

Warnings:Domestic Violence,blood

Request:Hi! can you write a jj maybank fic with prompt #10, y/n is friends with the pogues and just recently broke up with her kook boyfriend. She starts getting closer with Jj and then her ex wants to get back together, she doesn’t so he chokes her and punches her. She tries to hide it from the pogues but jj thinks the bruises on her neck are hickies and gets defensive. Y/n continues to lie but then JJ makes her cry and she tells the truth ?? (Love ur blog v much❤️💕💖)

So this isnt exactly what you wanted but I tried so I hope you still like it <3

Loose long sleeve shirts,baggy sweatpants and high top sneaks.You were limping ever so slightly,thinking that none of them had noticed.You had been alarmingly quiet and smoking weed pretty much every 20 minutes.Nobody asked you why you were acting this way.Kie had just thought you were on your period,sharing the information with the boys,You had been staying at John.B’s and refusing to go back to your house in case he showed up there.

It was somewhere around 7 in the morning when JJ woke up,going to the porch to smoke.You were already there.Your hood was up,hair in a messy know on top of your head.You had a few dark bruises on your neck,the fake metal chain you owned dangling off your neck.You were leaning on the railing,blunt between your lips and your eyes closed as you tried to calm your thoughts with the drug.The small scar on your cheekbone had become irritated as it always did when you had cried.Being in this state meant that you hadnt noticed JJ’s tall figure yet.You let out a sigh,a small cloud of white smoke leaving your mouth.JJ came up behind you quite. 

“Morning.”His voice whispered groggily.You pulled up your hood so the fabric covered your neck,the material stopping behind your bun. “Morning.”You answered quietly,wincing as his arms wrapped around your waist and his chin rested on your shoulder. “Are you okay,sunshine?”She asked.You took the blunt back between your lips,nodding slowly. “You’ve been smoking a lot lately.”He observed,sliding his hands under your hoodie and onto your hips.You grabbed his wrists tightly,pulling them off your body.He frowned.

 “What’s wrong?”He repeated his previous question,sounding more serious this time. “I dont like when people touch me.”You answered as smore crawled out of your mouth and into the air.He slid between you and the railing. “You love hugs and cuddles.You always have.Im gonna ask one more time.What’s wrong?”He asked again.Worry and anger course through his veins.He hadnt really seen sunshine in three days.He had seen (Y/N) but not his sunshine that he had known and loved since seventh grade.

You sighed,avoiding his eyes as you exhaled smoke,the cloud hitting his clothed chest.You went to take another hit but he took it from your hand,making your eyes widen. “What the hell,JJ?”You asked,tears beginning to form in your bloodshot eyes.He sighed,looking down at you.You were silent as you thought about what you could possibly say,what excuse you could make.You held the bottom of your hoodie,thinking about what you were about to do. “Don't tell anyone.If you tell anyone ill kill you.”You told him.He nodded nervously. “Im serious,not even John.B”You spoke softly,worried that someone would hear you even though you were ten feet away from the house.He nodded again.

You hesitated,pulling off the hoodie with a small hiss.His heart dropped,feeling sick.Yellow and black bruises cover your torso,scratches and scabs and cuts all over your ribs and stomach.You pulled at the drawstrings of your pants,letting them fall into the grass.Your knee cap looked out of place,a large cut across your thigh.He couldn't say anything,tears coming from his eyes as his jaw fell. “Dont cry,im fine.”You forced a grin on your face.His fists clecnched. “Who the fuck did this?”He demanded,hand going to the gun in the waistband of his jeans.You sighed,shaking your head. 

“This is why I didn't want to tell you.”You mumbled. “Dammit!What the fuck does that mean?You cant just let me fucking protect you!Ill go to fucking prison!Doesn't matter if you tell me or not ill blow that son of a bitches brain out!”He shouted as you took steps backwards.Tears were going down his face.Someone had hurt his sunshine,ruined you.No one could make bruises like that with just their fists which meant whoever done this had a weapon.

 “JJ,just listen to me.Im fine.I had an accident and it was my fault.I feel fine.Everything is fine.”You spoke softly,trying to calm him. “Bullshit!”He shouted.Pope and Kiara came down the back steps quietly,trying to figure out what was going on.Kiara screamed when she saw you,causing you to turn around and see what she was screaming for.Now JJ could see the long cut across your back,the moon shaped cuts on your neck and the little bruises all over your shoulders. 

“Kie-im fine.Im fine-just go back inside.”You squeaked out,becoming overwhelmed with everything going on.JJ held his gun tighter. “JJ look at me.Im breathing and standing.Im fine.”You spoke,voice becoming shaky as you spoke to the blonde. “Shit,(Y/N).I think you need stitches for that.”Pope stared at the deep cut.You quickly shook your head,trying to gain control over the situation again. “No-no,Pope thats stupid!Im fine.Go back inside.”You spoke desperately,tears rolling down your face and neck.

JJ looked at the bruises one more time before slamming his hand against the railing.You sand to the ground,head in your hands as John B started shouting for all of you to go to the hospital.You hadnt even noticed him come outside.Kiara was crying,Pope was about to vomit,John.B was panicking and JJ had kneeled down in front of you,trying to talk.You couldn't hear anything he was saying,any sounds except for your heart beating and your sobs.He needed you to go to the hospital,desperately trying to get through to you.He gently lifted your chin up so you’d look at him properly. “Sunshine,you need to get in the van so we can take you to the hospital.”He spoke gently,his fingers tracing lines along your temple and jawline gently. 

“Im fine.”You insisted,trying not to cough. “You’re not fine-your knee is fucking twisted,your back is slashed and youre covered in bruises!You’re not fine!”John B shouted,completely losing his cool.You huffed at the commotion,ignoring the hot tears and the pounding in your head. “You’re so fucking dramatic.”You tried pulled the hoodie from under JJ’s knee. “You cant just put your hoodie back on and pretend everything is fine.”He refused to move.You looked up at him,offering a small smile. “Everything is fine.”You repeated again.His jaw clenched.

 “What the actual fuck?Come on,you know you're not fine!You know you’re not!Just let someone help you for once in your damn life-its either you get in the van and you let us take you to the hospital or I will hunt down whoever did this and shoot them in the fucking face.What’s it gonna be?”He asked.You just shook your head,more tears coming from your eyes.Someone else always got gurt,why>Kiara slowly came up to you,kneeling down and letting you cry into her shirt.You just kept apologizing,crying.POpe ran inside,coming out with a first aid kit and a rag,yelling for John.B to get rubbing alcohol and ice. “Hey,hey you gotta let us help you.”The dark skinned boy spoke quietly,sitting by you.

You let out a loud sob,JJ bit down hard on his lip and tried not to cry too.Everything was a blur as a rag got put in your mouth while Kiara held you tight.Pope was trying to clean the slash on your back with rubbing alcohol,your screams and sobs muffled by the rag. “Guys!Give her a minute!”JJ shouted.Pope took the blood stained,alcohol drenched towel and tossed it onto the porch.Kiara slowly let go of you,allowing you to lean forward.It was unspoken as JJ opened his arms and you wrapped your arms around him as you cried until you couldn't anymore,your eyes puffy.He didn't touch you at all,not wanting to hurt you and remembering you saying that you didn't want to be touched. “Was it...was it Lucas?”He asked.You gave him a weak nod,breaths still shallow from crying so hard.His hands became fists but he tried not to get angry again for your sake.

He made quick eye contact with John.B.They would go to his house and beat the devil out of him later.He rested his head against your shoulder,kissing your collarbone lightly. “Did he hit your head?”He asked.You just held onto him tighter.What a fucking mess this was.You sighed,moving away from him. “How long has this been going on?”John.B asked,sitting down. “A couple months.”You answered,finally coming clean. “Jesus,sunny,why didn't you tell any of us?”He asked.You shrugged,wincing at the pain.

 “Thought you guys would be mad at me.”You mumbled,causing the group to go silent. “You should come inside and shower.”Kiara suggested.She held her hand out to you,you got up with a low groan as your knee made a cracking sound.You pulled your clothes out from underneath JJ,limping back inside with Kie.She turned on the shower for you while you stared at your body in the mirror. “It doesn't hurt...he didn't hit me that hard.”You ran your fingers along the bruises. “He could've killed you.”Kie reminded you. “Its fine,Kie.I bruise easy anyways.You should see Lucas,I kneed him right in the dick.”You gave her a small smile before hesitantly stepping under the hot,flowing water.

You let out a sharp squeak as the blood hit the water,coloring the floor a faded murky red. “Im going to grab you some clothes.Will you let me bandage you up later?”Kie asked.You nodded,watching the blood go down the drain and try not to get your ahir wet.You heard the door open around two minutes later,too tired to open your eyes.Everything just felt heavy. “Why didn't you tell us?”A masculine voice asked.You could identify the voice as JJ’s.You opened your eyes partly,looking over to see him leaning against the sink with clothes under one arm and a towel under the other.

 “You never asked.”Was all you could think of,hand shaking as you turned off the water.You held onto the wall for support,shocked at how weak you were.You felt JJ wrap the towel around your shoulders,holding his arm out for support.You held on tight to his for arm as his other hand went to your waist,ready to catch you if you fell.You were trembling slightly,gripping his arm so hard that it was beginning to lose color. “I've got you baby girl.Take your time.”He spoke softly.You nearly fell as you stepped onto the small rag on the tile floor.The towel still hung on your shoulders,covering your breasts.

He slowly dragged the towel down your body,careful as the material grazed your injured thigh,dragging it back up to pat your neck dry.He kissed your forehead lightly,letting your naked body lean against him.In any other situation it would be all of his dreams and fantasies come true but he couldn't think about anything sexual in this moment.He was helping you,comforting you. “Baby.”He mumbled quietly.Neither of you really knew why he called you that,it just came more naturally than your name.He called you by Baby,Babygirl,Sunshine.Pretty much anything but your name.You could realate.You had nicknames for the others,words you would use instead of their names.

Pumpkin,Sweetheart,Darling,Love.But only JJ got to be called Love.It was something special for only him.You hummed quietly,listening to him. “I’ll hurt him,if you want.”He offered,waiting for your answer.You shook your head,moving his chin so he was forced to look at you. “Don't be so angry,Love.Karma will get him eventually.”You answered softly,pulling him down so you could kiss his nose. “I just wish I could protect you from everything.”He sighed,his bottom lip quivering.You pulled him closer,pressing a gentle kiss on his lips. 

“I know.But you cant and thats okay.”You replied before pulling the clothes from the bathroom counter,trying to figure out how you could slip on the shorts without making your thigh cut bleed again.He noticed your struggle,taking the shorts from you and assisting in pulling them up your legs,helping you with the T Shirt as well. “I love you.”He whispered.You nodded,squeezing his hand. “I love you too.”You answered.

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[clearlyshyobservation]

Kokichi is dying (V3 chatfic, no particular ship)

TW: Infers abuse, talks about ableism, neglect, panic attack pretty much, depression, self loathing. never being good enough

i am so sorry but vr au's need to be sad, love yall :)

(Background info: This is set in a vr au, they are not with their fake memory parents (Ie; kaito's kind grandparents) but rather why they really have)

(Also i have no fucking clue what ship i was going for???? pretty sure they are all on the table, and kokichi talks like an idiot in this and i love it. Gonta's writing is based off of his Japanese talking style, so no more caveman talking).

USERNAMES:

(Space monkey: Kaito, Detective pikachu: shuichi, Elton john: kaede, Antman: gonta, Mr. Gonstealyoman: korekiyo, Atua's bitch: angie, emoboi: ryoma, be-boop: kiibo, bread roll: Maki, cum dumpster: miu, mommy: kirumi, Gremlin: Kokichi)

TLDR: Chaos ensues, slight angst

Gremlin: omfg im fucking sicK im gonna fucking die i bet this was kaitos bitch ass fault for coughing on me with his tuberculosis headass gROSSSSS I HATE EVERYTHINGGG

Space Monkey: i-

Space monkey: I didn't get you sick dumbass,,,, my tb is fugckin cured bi-

Bread roll: he's dramatic and gross dont believe him

Gremlin: yall mean for what?

Gremlin: i have a life taking disease and yall laughing i- 

Gremlin: see you at my funeral bitch

Detective pikachu: What are you sick with then

Gremlin: anythong bitch, im the universe

Antman: He sounds delusional, thats not good

Detective pikachu: He's always delusional, he's Kokichi

Mr. gonstealyoman: I guess this name is better than my old one

Mr. gonstealyoman: thank you kokichi :) I am glad we have come to an understanding

Gremlin: kay sexy

Gremlin: IGNRE WHAT I JUST SENT

Gremlin: IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE ITTTTT

Antman: who was that for???

Gremlin: NO ONE,,, 

Gremlin: Okay,,, maybe sexy tall men in general lowkey

Gremlin: okay,,,, maybe anyone over 6 feet 

Detective pikachu: i feel excluded

Detective pikachu: good, i don't like you kokichi, your an ass

Gremlin: u sound jelly shumaiiiiii

be-boop: perhaps he is telling the truth, you know,

be-boop: according to my data, in chapter four Shuichi stated that you will never have friends, and no one will ever like you

Gremlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL BADBSKVKHDVKDSKJV

Antman: do you need me to come over? I can make you tea?

mommy: Do you know how to do that, Gonta? I can teach you?

Antman: Gonta does know, thank you very much. 

Antman: Gonta is not a child, Tojo-chan, please don't regard me as one

Antman: Gonta can cook, can clean, can be gentle, and has his own mind

Space monkey: but we're just making sure man, cuz, you know,,,, chapter 4

Antman: I am capable of things just like you!!!!!

Antman: Gonta doesn't know why you guys treat me like a child :(

Gremlin: yeah, hot stuff over there is basically a prodigy homies

Antman: Gonta is dumb though, don't say that.

Antman: Gonta is no prodigy, in fact, he is below average in everything

Gremlin: Whats ur test scores bitch

Antman: Gonta got a 98 on my english test,, but i wanted a 100, which would make Gonta actually smart :( 

Antman: Gonta is not good enough to be friends with you all

Antman: I can do basic stuff like tojo said...

Antman: maybe i do need help?

Antman: im not sure anymore:((((

Gremlin: THEY ARE ABLEIST GONTA,,, THEY FEEL SUPERIOR FOR TREATING UUUUU LIKE A CHILD

Detective pikachu: You sound really delusional Kokichi, maybe you should get sleep

Gremlin: S T F U, IM SPITTING ST8 FACTS BITCH

Detective pikachu: Sure you are. Now get some rest. 

Gremlin: GRRRR WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOTS??

Bread roll: Cause your stupid and aggressive

Gremlin: your personality, basically?

Bread roll: shut up at least i have a boyfriend

Gremlin: Technically, you just stole my frienemy 

Gremlin: Yall do be avoiding each other doe

Space Monkey: WE ARE NOT

Gremlin: Yeah yeah

Gremlin: yesterday i saw you to enter the same cafe by accident, duck your heads, then sit across the cafe from each other, all while  avoiding eye contact

Gremlin: Soooo,,, things not going well in paradise?

Detective pikachu: you're nosy

Gremlin: says the literal detective 

Space monkey: everythings fine your just a dickkkk

Gremlin: "oooo! Im momo-chan, i say bad word and go brrrrr"

Space monkey: im going to fucking stab him 

Gremlin: You cant, ive already enslaved you with my chaotic, yet cute hijinks, havent i~

Space monkey: STOP STOP NO NOT THE SQUIGLY

Gremlin: is it the sex? WHY DONT YOU MAKE EYE CNOTACT WITH UR LADY NO MORE 

Space monkey: ITS NOT THE SEX I HATE YOU

Gremlin: im free by the way at 8 ;)

Bread roll: STOP trying to steal my boyfriend kokichi, ive told you this before

Bread roll: NO

Bread roll: BODY

Antman: Gonta interrupts to say, Gonta loves you kokichi, and we should get flowers together, than maybe we can prank some people :D 

Bread roll: Ive never wanted to stab you more, gonta

Gremlin: I'd enjoy that very much, fine fellow ;)

Gremlin: but idk,,,, can you like take care of me first, cuz IM SICK BECAUSE OF KAITO TUBERCULOSIS ASS

Space monkey: I DONT HAVE TB ANYMORE

Gremlin: SURE YOU DONT 

Space monkey: I DONT

Gremlin:  BUT GUESS WHAT

Gremlin: YOU STILL SMOKE DUMBASS AND THATS NOT GOOD FOR U OR YOUR TUBERCULOSIS

Detective pikachu: He smokes?

Atua's bitch: he does, i walked in on him in the bathroom lmao

Atua's bitch: he was scared shitless and threw it out the window, needless to say atua does nt approve

Gremlin: DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE VACCINE????

Space monkey: Uh,,, i was taught vaccines were bad, so no i don't have the vaccine

Gremlin: I HATE OLD PEOPLE

Gremlin: ABOLISH OLD PEOPLEEEE

Gremlin: THEY SPREAD MISINFORMATION AND IT PHISCALLY HURTS ME TO SEEEEEE

Space monkey: your dramatic, it cant be that bad

Gremlin: say that when you catch it again

Gremlin: i swear you coughed on me like,,,, 5 weeks ago tho

Antman: OOOO! Fun fact: Tuberculosis can lay dormant from 3 months to a few years! 

Space monkey: u guys are just trying to scare me

Bread roll: Just checked the chat after using the br and,,m YOUDONT HAVE YOU VACCINES???

Detective pikachu: Im sorry, but kaito, please,,,,, for the love of god get vaccines

Space monkey: alright alright, ill do it cuz you guys are all on my case and i don't like being the villain :(

Gremlin: Im so happy i have gonta with me rn, he is making me tea while yall rot in your distant ass relationship (THIS IS FOR YOU KAITO)

Space monkey: Im going to destroy your bloodline in about three seconds if you dont stfu right fucking now

Gremlin: Hhehe i have an inaprwopwiate joke uwu

emoboi: STOP PLEASE DEAR GOD

cum dumpster: wHAt Is iT YOU WHORE

Gremlin: i was gonna say wouldn't he need to like,,,, have sex with my family to weed out my bloodline or something??

cum dumpster: i-

cum dumpster: Why am i acting surprised, ive watched porn with more extravagant plots than this

cum dumpster: ie; are you guys FUCKING? RIGHT INFRONT OF MY SALAD??? is one i will cherish with my soul

emoboi: hehe why did she point out the salad

Space monkey: I hate u kokichi, i truly do

Gremlin: I bet if you got the chance u would kiss me space boy :P

Bread roll has left the chat

Space monkey: o god is she ddoing one of those bf loyalty tests or smthing???

Space monkey: now im nervous lmao

Gremlin: why you so nervous stupid~~~~

Gremlin: It not like ur cheating on her homie

Space monkey: It's just a placebo effect

Gremlin: My brain feels fried Momo-chan,, i don't understand big boy words right now

Space monkey: Basically, if you take a pill that doesn't do anything but you don't know that and believe it does, you will scientifically start to feel better

Gremlin: first and only time saying this, but thank you 

Space monkey: HEHEHEB YOU SAID THANK YOU YOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOU

Gremlin: Kaito,,, imma need you to do me a favor and look up on your ceiling

Space monkey: i hate you, idk what it is, but i hte you

Gremlin: good <3

Space monkey: HE REPLACED ALL MY THE STARS ON MY CELING WITH FUCKIBG DICKSSS

Space monkey: THIS IS THE LST FUCKING STRAW IM GONNA LOSE IT

Space monkey: IF MY GRANDPARENTS SEE THIS BULLSHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME, SLAP ME, MAYBE BREAK MY NECK AND DESTROY MEE

Space monkey: Im GENUINLEY panicing HOW TF am i gona get this off my wal???? They are going to bbat me senselpess help me shUichi

Detective pikachu: o god, i can sense the sheer pain and scaredness in  that tet, 

Detective pikachu: are you for real gong to get hurt or are you pulling a kokichi?

Space monkey: FUCKING HELP ME IM NOT FUCKING JOKINGKABKCB HELP THEY ARE NOT HOME RN THEY ARE LIKEE,,,, 40 MINUTES AWAY PLEASEE 

Gremlin: okay,,, maybe this wasn't the best prank.,,, i guess i'll help clean up cuz im not that much of a sociopath

Gremlin: tbh my parents can go shove it too lowkey terrible 0/10 

Space monkey: AHHHH IM SO SCARED PLS PSL GET HERE FAST

be-boop: Of course, i will come, i will survey the outside of the house

Antman: Gonta is coming too! We will get this done in under 40 minutes!

Space monkey: OKAY

Gremlin: Lowkey, if i cough on you ignore it bitch your the one who made me like this

Space monkey: W HA TDONT COUGH ON ME IM NOT SICK ANYMORE

Gremlin: I will give you TB again just cuz your making me suffer

Space monkey: Suffer what??? putting dicks on my FUCKING WALL???

Gremlin: Guilt, idiot, im feeling guilty. 

cum dumpster: oof thats new

emoboi: yeah i wasn't expecting it

Mr.gonstealyoman: Me neither. It is rather peculiar seeing it being texted by him because he is always feels not guilty of his bad actions.

be-boop: I do believe he means it, though...

emoboi: impossible.

cum dumpster: i agree, literally impossible.

Gremlin: I HAVE A FUCKIBG SOUL YOU CRazY CONSPIRACISTS

Antman: Quick question, shuichi can i stay with you again? It'll be dark when i get home and gonta can't do that so,,, please help

Detective pikachu: my parents are like blank slates, who eat slowly, watch tv slowly, and never look at me. Im sure they wouldn't mind :P

Antman: ALRIGHT! :D LETS GET MISSION: MR. MOMOTA ROOM REPAIR DONE!

Gremlin: ooo! I like the name! IM INNNN! 

Detective pikachu: On it!

be-boop: Ready for look out!

Space monkey: I love you guys :)

AN: Im lowkey sorry i ended this chaotic mess with angst,,,, but like fr i love it i love angst,, i hate reading it but love writing it

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

Prompt request

Obispo “Bishop” Losa x Reader

Anon asked: 43 and 44 with bishop, angst and fluffy : you lost the bet / stop calling me Im busy

Word Count: 1.2k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. The gif isn’t mine.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @chibsytelford @dazzledamazon @mara-mpou @sammskellington @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines @briana-mishell24 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

“Stop calling me, I'm busy, Obispo”. You mutter with anger and the phone on your left ear.

“Then forgive me”.

“Fuc' off! You don't fuckin' deserve anything from me”.

“It was a bet!”

“Yeah', you lost a bet, and also me”. Without giving him the opportunity to reply, you hung up with a bitter snort.

You had been working for almost twelve hours at the hospital, from dusk till dawn. Two long surgeries, three car accidents and some fake emergencies of people who visit it because some coughs. You didn't even have time to eat, other than a few bites of a cold sandwich. So, when you finished your turn, the only thing you wanted to do was go to the clubhouse and have a beer between your man's arms. But when you arrived and saw one of Vicki's girl on his lap serving tequila directly in his mouth, the hell burned like never before. It has been three infernal days since then, with a lot of Bishop's calls and texts begging you to forgive him.

Keeping your phone in the pocket of your doctor's gown, you walk towards the locker room to change your clothes. Resting your forehead against your box-office, with an angry tear running down your cheek. It's not like he's cheating on you, but disrespecting whatever it supposed you two have together. Maybe you don't have the right to reproach him for anything, 'cause you're not his Old Lady, but you have the right to cut everything with him after feeling so humiliated.

Your phone dings with a notification, when you're trying to figure out where are your car keys, supporting your waist against one of the doors. Unknown number. You roll your eyes opening the text.

📨: hi, im shara, im sorry about what happened with bishop. we were just having fun, i dont want anything with him and i also know he loves you. i never wanted to bother you and im so sorry. hes always talking about you and its amazing the way he does. please talk with him, vicki told us hes fucking bad

Rubbing the bridge of your nose, you lock the phone to put it inside your bag. After finding the keys, you drive your way back home. You don't want to talk with him, not even if you have read the message. What happened hurt you, hurt your ego and feed your insecurities. And it's not going to be easy to recover.

The headlights of your car illuminate the facade of your house, spotting Bishop sitting by your door and smoking a cigar almost consumed. He looks tired, with dark circles under her eyes and a sloppy beard covering his jaw. He throws the cigarette away, getting up and placing both hands by his back, with the head down. He doesn't know what more can say to you.

You keep silent, passing him away to open the door, closing it without letting him come in. Through the peephole you can see how he sits again, rubbing his nape with a hand. A sigh escapes from your lips, turning around to walk towards your room. Leaving your stuff on the unmade bed and getting undressed, you go to the shower taking your time in under the water, until your fingertips are wrinkled.

Wrapping your body with a long towel and your hair in another, you come back to the main room, to wear some comfy clothes and find something to eat in the kitchen. Your fridge is empty, 'cause you forgot shopping for food, so you need to order something. But before doing it, you walk next to the front door having another look by the peephole to see that Bishop still there. Sitting in silence with his locked phone in his hands, like if you were gonna text him or something. Opening the door, he turns a little towards you.

“I'm gonna order some food, you wan'?” He shakes his head and, by the way you opened the door, he knows he can't come in.

You nod with pursed lips, closing it again and pressing the button to make the order. If he's trying to make you feel sorry, he's doing it pretty well, but then you remember what happened and you forget how he feels.

The night passes and when you're about to sleep, you walk outside one last time, opening the door and supporting your body against the frame.

“Are you gonna sleep there...?”

“Yes”.

“It's cold, Bishop. Go home”.

“If I've to die tonight, I'll do it waiting for you to forgive me”.

“Sounds like a bad movie on Netflix...” You sigh rolling your eyes a little desperate.

“I'm sorry, (Y/N). I didn't mean to hurt you. You're my girl, my one and only, my Old Lady, and I wa—”.

“No, I'm not”. You interrupt him, getting up of the door frame, with a confused gesture on your face. “You didn't propose me, nor ask me, nor introduce me to the club, even if they also know me”.

“I was about to do it”.

“When? Before or after drinking the tequila with that bitch on top of you, uh? I don't know too much about the MCs, but I'm sure it's not the way to introduce your girlfriend to them”.

Bishop, snortling and placing both hands on his head, sinks his face between his knees.

“Go home, Obispo. It's late and you look like shit... We will talk... tomorrow”.

Then, he turns at you getting up and holding his helmet from the floor.

“You promise?”

“Jesus Christ, Bishop... Go home”.

“No, no, no. Promise me. Promise me we're gonna talk tomorrow”. He says walking next to you.

“Yea', Bishop, sure... I promise”.

A soft smile is drawing in his lips, putting a hand on your left cheek, to leave a kiss on the right. You hold his hands, closing your eyes and enjoying the nearest. You miss him. Every touch, every word, every kiss. And you fall again, wrapping his back with your arms. He hugs you back, tightly, leaving some kisses on your head.

“You can... sleep on my sofa”. You whispers, pulling him away some inches. “It's late and... you look tired. You shouldn' drive”.

“You sure, querida...?”

You nod one time. With an arm on your shoulders, he guides you through the door, closing it after coming in. He leaves his vest and the helmet on the table in the living room, while you go to your room to find a blanket. When you come back he's already lying there, with the boots on a side of the floor and an arm covering his eyes. You sigh for a second, offering him.

“Thank you”. He says grabbing your wrist to pull you closer.

He knows he doesn't deserve to sleep in your bed tonight, but he really wants to sleep with you and the sofa is pretty huge for both. You let him lay you down next to him, tangling your legs with his and sinking your face on his neck, taking a deep breath of his scent. Bishop wraps your body with his arms, getting comfortable by your side.

“You have to shave tomorrow, please”.

“I will, but let me sleep all day. I need it”.

“I need it too”.

[suupernovalight]

Addictive Drug

Ushijima W. x Reader

Masterlist || Previous || Next

9) Trapped In

Warning: mention of attempted suicide, gun violence, and torture

The Day Before

“Sir!” A truck driver said. “There’s something I need you to inspect”

A man with blonde hair and a cigarette groaned and got up from sitting. He then walked up to the truck driver and grabbed him by the collar.

“You know not to annoy me while I’m taking a smoke.” The man then blew the cigarette smoke into the truck drivers face. “You know what happens when I inform Tadashi about your disturbance”

“Boss” the truck driver said. “Please, just listen to me for once” he coughed.

The blonde haired man dropped the driver and turned around. He was waiting for the driver to talk.

“There’s something unusual that I found on my truck. I need you to come look” the driver said regaining his breathing.

The man nodded and watched as the driver left the room. When he was alone, he dropped and put out his cigarette with a sigh.

“Tadashi... why would you put me, Haruki Hadeiko in charge of this drug dump?”

~~~

When Haruki got out of his office to see what the driver was talking about, he immediately went to the truck to inspect it.

After checking for anything unusual, he found it. There sat a small but noticeable black... tracker? Could it be that the driver was followed?

“Driver 086” Haruki said.

“Yes sir?” The driver replied stepping up.

Haruki looked back at the tracker, then at Haruki. “Were you followed?”

The driver gulped in fear. “I don’t... I don’t know sir.”

Haruki squinted his eyes in annoyance. He then turned back at the tracker and tried to pull off the tracker. When it wouldn’t budge, Haruki got mad and kicked the truck.

“086, let me ask you again...” Haruki’s voice booming. “Were... you followed?”

The poor driver knew he was dead. “I heard someone around my truck but I dismissed it thinking it was nothing but an animal”

“Why didn’t you go check?” Haruki asked walking up to him.

“I-“ the driver stuttered. “I did check sir... nothing was there...” the driver backed up a few. “It was dark and I couldn’t see”

Haruki laughed a bit then reached into his suit to grab something. The other drivers listening quickly minded their business in fear that they would be next.

“Y’know 086... I actually kinda liked you.” Haruki said putting his hand on the drivers cheek. His eyes then grew dark. “But you’re the reason for this mess”

Haruki then quickly got out his gun and shot the driver. Dead right in the center of his forehead. The bang rang through the other drivers ears. As 086 got shot, he fell to the floor dead.

“Everyone else, you better clean up this mess and get back to work” Haruki said blowing his gun. “Or all of you will be next”

Present Day (from the last chapter)

“Ushijima...” you whispered while looking around. Not planning to take your eyes off of the many men pointing guns at you and your partner.

“Y/n...” Ushijima replied.

After some silence, you broke it. “We are so fucked.” You then smirked. “Might as well make the best of it” you said reaching into your suit and grabbing something.

You then threw it on the ground very quickly. Everything around you and Ushijima turned smoky. You heard many people coughing around you. You quickly grabbed Ushijima’s hand and brought him to a place to hide for a bit so they can make a plan.

“How did you have a smoke bomb on hand?” Ushijima asked you.

You dusted off your suit and smiled. “I keep some around me sometimes, it’s like a plan B” you then looked at your gun. “We gotta kill these men, we are dancing with the reaper”

“Dancing with the reaper?” Ushijima repeated.

“Just follow my lead” you winked while getting up and shooting at the men who were oddly confused with the smoke.

Ushijima also did the same, he wasn’t to sure of your plan though. Anything could go wrong. You on the other hand, was overly confident. You were sure that your plan would work.

Bang.... bang... bang

The shots of the guns were getting louder and more faster. You were slowly falling behind in your rhythm of “dancing”. That was until Ushijima stepped up.

He grabbed your hand and looked into your eyes. You looked back and saw how they sparkled. This isn’t a fairy tale though.

“Get down!” Ushijima yelled pushing you behind a metal pillar in the facility.

“Ow bitch.” You groaned. “That hurt?” You said looking at him. He was on top of you. His knees held him up still. You could feel your cheeks heating up and butterflies forming in your stomach.

“I’m sorry y/n” Ushijima said looking at you. “You were about to get hit” Ushijima then got up from being on top of you and shot at the workers.

You were still kind of shocked about what just happened. This didn’t change the fact that you were in battle right now though. When you snapped out of your love trance, you connected with Tendō from your ear piece.

“Tendō... can you hear me?” You said over the ear piece.

“Loud and clear y/n, why are there gun shots?” Tendō responded worridly.

“They are shooting at me and Ushijima. I need you to drive to the nearest exit and wait there. Me and Ushijima will try to be there as soon as possible.” You said shooting your gun at the workers.

“Got you ma’am, I’ll be waiting” Tendō said cutting off.

As you and Ushijima shot one worker down, 2 more would replace that dead one. Bullet after bullet came after you guys. You wouldn’t be surprised if you got hit.

The smoke around you and everyone else was clearing up. This was a bad sign because the workers could get an open shot on you. Even worse, they could be getting Ushijima.

You reached for another smoke bomb and was about to throw it when Ushijima stopped you.

“That isn’t necessary. They are almost already gone. Some flee’d others stayed to die” Ushijima said. “I promise we will make it out of here safe.”

You gulped and nodded. You then put back the smoke bomb and continue shooting.

“KILL THEM YOU FAILURES!” The man you were trying to capture said. “I CAN NOT LET TADASHI KNOW ABOUT THIS...”

You stopped. The name Tadashi made you. You hated that name. He was part of the reason why you are here today.

“Tadashi...” you mumbled. “TADASHII” you yelled getting out from your hiding spot and shooting at every darn worker you saw.

“Y/N CONTAIN YOURSELF” Ushijima yelled backing you up.

The more anger that surged in you, the more workers that died. Ushijima was slightly terrified of you. It was like you lost control.

“Tadashi... Tadashi... TADASHI” you yelled as you continued to shoot.

The final of the workers dropped dead to the ground. Now that was only left was the man that caused this chaos. The man who was pointing a gun towards...

...his head.

Your eyes widened in shock. You were about to run towards him to make him stop but Ushijima was up ahead of you. He punched the guy making him loose grasp of the gun towards his head.

“What are you thinking!?” Ushijima yelled.

Finally, you could see the man’s features. He had blonde hair, his eyes were a glossy blue color. You blinked a few times then ran towards the guy.

“Tadashi...” you mumbled. “What do you know about him?” You asked the blonde haired guy.

“Why... why do you want to know...” the blonde haired said trying to grab his gun but Ushijima stepped on his hand.

“Tadashi... Hayashi... are they... your boss?” You asked kneeling down to see the man’s eyes.

“Why yes now let me go and pass on because I can’t bare to go through their torture again!” The man wailed.

Your eyes widened. “Torture...” you repeated. “What’s your name?”

The blonde haired guy squirmed but answered. “Haruki... Hadeiko”

You scoffed. “They used you...” you whispered standing up and grabbing the gun Haruki once had.

“Y/n... who are you talking about?” Ushijima asked.

You looked at Ushijima. “I’ll tell you soon... for now, let’s arrest this man.” You said looking at Haruki.

Haruki smirked. He then looked behind you. You quickly turned around to see someone holding what seemed to be a bottle.

“Y/N” Ushijima yelled grabbing you and covering you with his body.

The sound of glass shattering filled your ears. It was then followed by smoke. Was it your smoke bomb? You didn’t know because Ushijima put his hand over your nose and mouth.

“Dont... breathe in...” Ushijima coughed while shooting at the guy who dropped the bottle. “Go towards the exit... I’ll get Haruki.”

“Ushijima what about-“ you were then cut off by Ushijima yelling at you to go.

You nodded and ran towards the exit, as you escaped, you saw Tendō waiting outside.

“We got the culprit. Start the car” you said.

Tendō nodded and did as you say. Meanwhile, Ushijima grabbed Haruki who was again, trying to commit. Ushijima thankfully knocked out Haruki before he could though. More smoke surrounded him. Ushijima quickly grabbed Haruki and ran out of the exit with him.

As he saw Tendō in the car, Ushijima quickly ran towards the trunk and put Haruki inside. As that happened, Ushijima went into the drivers seat to drive.

“I’ll be driving y/n’s motorcycle. She says she feel tired” Tendō said getting out. “I’ll meet you guys back at the agency” he said getting on the motorcycle and driving away.

You got into Ushijima’s car and buckled yourself up. You had a bunch of scratches on your face and arms but you didn’t care.

“Drive.” You said. Ushijima did as you ordered.

~~~

As you two drove back to the agency, the ride back was very quiet. 4 hours of this made you not want to be with him.

“Listen... I-“ you tried saying but Ushijima cut you off.

“Who is Tadashi?” Ushijima asked.

You looked out the window. “It’s none of your business”

Ushijima’s eye brows lifted a bit. “It’s my business when you go crazy with bloodlust yelling his name.”

You blushed in embarrassment. “Listen it’s nothing. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

“Ok...” Ushijima started. “What about that news paper I showed you.”

Your eyes widened. “The... news paper?”

Ushijima nodded. “I have it in my pocket. I brought it with us so we could talk-“

“It’s my info. It’s none of yours” you cut in. “I’ll tell you when I’m ready.” You said sighing. “Just drive back.”

Ushijima groaned but did as you say.

~~~

You guys were now almost there. Ever since bringing up Tadashi, you’ve been cautious of what you were saying.

“That smoke...” you said.

Ushijima looked at you. “What about it.”

“Why did you cover my nose and mouth back there” you said looking into his eyes.

Ushijima quickly looked away. “It could have been harmful and... I didn’t want you to breathe it in.”

You nodded. “Thanks for that...” you said smiling.

“No... problem...” Ushijima mumbled.

He then looked into your eyes. You guys were now at the agency. As Ushijima parked his car, he was becoming odd.

“Y/n... I-“ Ushijima was then stopped by him groaning in pain.

“Ushijima??” You said grabbing his arm. “Are you okay?”

No answer. You only earned more groans from Ushijima. This worried you deeply.

“USHIJIMA?” You said shaking him. “Hold on! I’ll get you to your apartment”

Taglist:

@toaster-stick @ashydoesdumbstuff

Taglist is open

[jungnoir]

𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡!𝐛𝐭𝐬;

bts but as witches in a coven. discuss

𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤𝐣𝐢𝐧: the supreme

ok not quite but he’s the most experienced in magic out of all the boys

his mother was a witch and she taught him everything he needed to know from birth to adulthood

his whole family is blessed with magic save for a few who didn’t get the gene but every family reunion they all dote on jin and talk about how powerful he’s become and how proud they are of him

the coven house where all of the boys stay is actually jin’s ancestor’s home from a long time ago

the place has brought up witches of all generations and jin was very eager to inherit it

while there’s definitely a lack of witches he’s been able to recruit, he loves his family of six so it doesn’t really bother him

he acts like he’s all serious but in reality he’s always casting spells on the youngins as tests (read: for fun)

jimin: why tf did you give me green skin

jin: if you had been paying attention during lessons you would know how to fix it :)

has definitely said this out of context more than once: ”any witch worth a broom handle knows how to get rid of poisonous snakes! you know back in my day…”

wears the flashiest outfits, but little do people know that they’re all homemade. he has a serious creative eye and seeks to make what simple human designers wish they could (taehyung is very eager to learn this talent from him)

goes all out on halloween with this talent too, creating uber realistic costumes

no he didn’t make a costume out of real human bones that year he went as a scarily realistic skeleton what are you talking about

no graves were robbed in the making of this outfit

if you couldn’t tell, his specialty is in glamours

honestly the guy should just tattoo “i’m a witch” across his forehead, he makes it so damn obvious

he openly practices magic too like it gives yoongi stress pains bc!! there’s still ppl who would very much like to burn witches still to this day!!! where is the self-preservation!!

jin doesn’t care. he’ll burn them right back. checkmate bitch

honestly charms anyone that comes in contact with him which is one of the things he never has to try at

the guys think he uses magic to do it but he’s honestly just, as jin would say, “born with it”

𝐲𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢: the right hand man

*namjoon voice* and who do we got here right now??? ˢᵘᵍᵃ!!!

when it comes to magic, yoongi is pretty neutral

an awfully interesting feeling to have given that seokjin has appointed him the heir of the coven in case anything happens to him

he’s not obsessed with magic like tae, hobi or kook

he doesn’t spend his time learning everything about it like namjoon

and he’s not playful with it like jimin and jin

yoongi just… acknowledges it. its like it exists as something he can do and he’s proud but he doesn’t really care if that makes sense

most of his friends outside of the coven are human too and he has no reservations about telling them what he is bc if they cause trouble he is more than prepared to take care of it

they’re usually like “wow so cool! i wish i was a witch” but yoongi really doesn’t care lmao

with or without magic, yoongi is the same: he loves music, he loves making music, and he loves being a musician

yoongi, however, is guilty of having used magic to make his music just right before

sometimes a note just doesn’t sit with him right and it’s driving him insane

or maybe the bass doesn’t hit hard enough

he charms his music in a way that when one listens to it, they feel exactly what yoongi wants them to feel

people are always telling him he has a real gift in music and while he most certainly does, he feels he has to give credit to his magic for helping him along sometimes

but then seokjin will be like “isn’t magic your talent too? aren’t you just exercising it when you charm your music? it’s not like you can only make music well. you should give yourself props for your magic too”

it’s just. weird to him because he’s seen how much magic can corrupt people in much higher positions than himself and it’s Terrifying

he wants to know that no matter what he makes, it’s his and his alone, not attributed to any otherworldly advantage

this just kind of contributes to his need to be as detached from magic as possible

he’s too cheap to buy one of those coffee makers that automatically start brewing at a certain time in the morning and just uses magic to do it instead

“yoongi do you want me to buy you a new coffee maker for your birthday? they have ones that do all the work for you now-” “no”

he has to be extra, okay namjoon

jimin teases him sometimes but yoongi knows it’s all out of love

jimin understands yoongi in a way, and while the others are always like “yoongi you should have more fun with your magic!” jimin is always like “no no no, let him be”

besides yoongi could probably smoke all of them in a battle of magic if it came down to it lol

𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤: the perfectionist

HERE HE IS!!! ITS HE

hoseok is probably one of the most talented witches in the coven

hoseok is a perfectionist to a t so if he feels insecure about how he’s doing a certain spell he will do it over and over and over until he’s got it right which makes him a pretty formidable opponent

like even the boys wouldn’t go up against him bc they know they’re just gonna get their ass handed to them

he’s a sweetie tho and very light-hearted and he never lets his power get to his head

he mainly uses it to bother the others tbh

also uses magic to give himself and the boys cool ass hair colors

currently he’s obsessed with this orange he’s got going on

calls it “pumpkin spice” bc it angers yoongi

“it really brings out the burnt sunset hues of a pumpkin ya know? or like a mix of changing fall colors, like golden crisp and warm crimson” “it’s fucking orange” yoongi can be heard chiming in from somewhere else in the house

but don’t get me wrong, hoseok loves himself some yoongi and vice versa

yoongi taught hoseok directly bc yoongi was the one that found hoseok

he was just an average college student and wasn’t really finding a will to live outside of paying off his student debts

he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life and was pretty dead inside, working at a cafe and serving coffee to other dead inside college students when yoongi came in and sensed his strong magical aura

yoongi kinda forced hoseok’s magic out of him by tossing a cup of steaming hot coffee to the floor, causing hoseok to freeze the entire cafe in time, save for the two of them. yoongi told him what he was and the rest was history

now that it’s been so long hoseok still gets upset that yoongi was willing to break one of the cafe’s mugs to prove a point

because of course, when time unfroze, the mug fuckin shattered all over the place what a fuckin jerk guess who’s going to have to clean that up does he really have no respect for retail workers seriou

seokjin also was opposed to yoongi’s method but since it resulted in hobi joining their coven, he can’t be too mad

it was hoseok’s natural ability that yoongi was able to help hone, and when hoseok found a love for it, he took it upon himself to be the absolute best witch he could be

hoseok’s power of stopping time is uniquely his own and he’s worked hard to perfect it

sometimes he just stops time to stop it

hob: *freezes a movie theater right before something dramatic happens on screen* hold on yall I gotta piss real quick

freezing time is also super helpful during *cough* stressful exams* cough*

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧: the scholar

he knows…. everything

not only did he do the reading, he did an 8 page analysis on it and corrected a few mistakes too

namjoon was aware of his witchy nature even from the moment he was a little kid, and his parents were both human and a bit scared for him since they didn’t know how to handle it, but they gave him the option of pursuing magic or not. they made sure to do all their own research into where witches could go to hone their craft just in case

in the end, namjoon grew curious and started reading books about magic and magical things

tho he didn’t actually start using his power until his mid teens

by then he was a bit shaky with it, but he knew a lot and was very determined so he got the hang of it very quickly

rarely uses his magic outside of it being necessary tho bc he’s gone so long without having to use it that he doesn’t rely on it for anything

he also likes to be independent from his magic in a way

while magic is very much a part of him and his being, he doesn’t want it to be like a crutch, you know? his biggest fear is losing his magic, bc he’s heard it can happen

he’s also aware that some witches lose important life skills and miss out on opportunities to build their character bc they’re so used to being able to just magic their way out of a situation

went from student to teacher real quick

teaches the other boys how to properly say incantations

“its levios-ah not levios-ar”

actually?? a pretty scary dude when it comes to using his magic for real

don’t put him in a situation where someone is getting hurt because he will not go easy on the aggressor. the other boys can attest to this too, having been saved by him far too many times than is acceptable in namjoon’s eyes

basically dont fuck with namjoon’s boys or u gon die

does cute things for the boys on their birthdays with magic

one time taehyung was sad that it wasn’t snowing on his birthday so namjoon made it snow for hours

may have fucked up the climate a lil bit

yoongi almost lost a toe

namjoon frequents a library and whenever a lil kid is struggling to reach a book he uses his magic to drift the book down to the little kid and when the kid looks at him in awe he just presses his finger to his lips and winks at them

flirts using his extreme wicca knowledge, of which is either a major turn off or a major turn on. you decide

𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧: the reluctant

jimin loves magic, but it wasn’t always like that

jimin kinda struggled with accepting his magical abilities at a young age bc he was really confused

like why wasn’t he just like everyone else? why did he have to be a witch? why did he have to have magic when he could’ve just been normal?

he often rejected it, never bothering to learn anything even to impress the family at reunions

but as he grew older, his parents grew worried he’d hate his magic and never use it again, putting him in a vulnerable position if his magic were ever to just come out when jimin isn’t in a place to control it, so they let him meet a slightly older witch that could help mentor him

his parents would’ve done it but jimin hardly ever listened to his parents about magic and they wanted to show him there were witches his age that were amazing people and embraced it, that it didn’t take away from jimin’s life but in fact added to it

in comes yoongi

yoongi, at first, really pities jimin

he understands the struggle between wanting to be normal and dealing with a part of his identity that won’t ever go away

where yoongi is concerned, that struggle for him was that he wanted to be himself regardless of being talented in magic. jimin... just hates it

but then jimin starts bashing magic and witches and he’s about to get angry at his parents for trying to force him into being a witch when yoongi just,,, slaps him upside the head

jimin’s shocked and yoongi is just like “respect your parents kid, they’re looking out for you. just because you don’t use your magic doesn’t mean people won’t know you’re a witch. its dangerous for a witch to go around with magic and not know how to use it”

jimin is shocked. he never thought of it that way

jimin feels embarrassed all of a sudden and apologizes and then yoongi cracks a smile and he’s like “no biggie kid, i’m just here to teach you the basics of magic and then i’ll be out of your hair”

jimin finds that learning magic with yoongi is really fun and soon he’s asking to be apart of the coven and embracing being a witch

he becomes carefree with it, like it’s another part of him, and he’s still kinda inexperienced, but he’s learning a lot from yoongi and namjoon

loves playing with temperature

the boys make him freeze their drinks for him, or ask him to heat up some popcorn while they’re all sprawled out on the couch on movie night bc no one feels like waiting two minutes for it to cook in the microwave

makes the water in the shower cold whenever one of the boys is taking way too fucking long in there which is Everyday

also jimin: *hitting on someone at the bar* *makes the room slightly warmer* “is it hot in here or is it just you?”

relates everything he learns back to naruto in some way, much to everyone’s complete and utter confusion

he just really kins the guy i guess

100% owns every single witch pun shirt known to man

“witch please” “witches do it better” “this is my resting witch face”

jungkook: by all means jimin why don’t you just burn us all at the stake yourself

it’s ok tho bc it’s his own little way of owning his identity, and if you want to avoid having your fingers frozen off, you’ll be sure not to step to him any kind of way

𝐭𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠: the transcendent 

my favorite witch!!! i wrote this whole thing for him

tae is like jin in that his whole family is magical and he grew up surrounded by magic his whole life

in fact, he’s so familiar with magic that he’s kind of sick of it (no he isn’t (most of the time))

taehyung is unique with his magic bc he’s actually able to transcend realms oooh~

the information on how many realms and parallel universes and such are limited as hell so taehyung actively helps broaden that knowledge as he travels, a very Dangerous and Scary job to anybody else

but to him he’s like!! fuck yeah astral projection!

basically, he’s able to put himself into a deep sleep where he moves through different realms, some more or less magical than the others

he’s so good at it that he can project himself into someone else’s dreams too

he’s basically capable of seeing more than most magical beings, and he can perceive spirits easily, as well as being able to actually see a magical aura around someone

so for instance, if a witch who didn’t know they were a witch walked into a bar, he’d know what they were instantly. besides the general intuitive feeling that most witches get, he can see the auras physically, like swarming tendrils of smoke unique to every person

each aura feels and looks different than others which makes it easy for him to point out shape shifters and vampires and werewolves and all the other guys pretty easily

bc of this ability, taehyung also likes to mess with the boys like everyone else lol

“tae, i just saw the most beautiful-” “they’re actually an ogre in disguise” “WHAT”

“man my english teacher is a witch” “she actually is”

in case you couldn’t tell tae’s favorite victim is jungkook

casually tells people he’s a witch just for the #reactions

if you’re wondering, no. nobody in this coven cares about keeping this shit a secret

since he’s more sensitive to dreaming, a lot of his dreams leave him incredibly emotional because sometimes he really is there

he once had a dream where all magical beings were universally accepted in the world and were loved and happy and woke up sobbing into jimin’s lap

also nightmares take a HUGE toll on him so his sleep pattern is fucked for real

usually ends up eating cake with jin in the dining room at four am and talking about life together to get the nightmares off tae’s mind

tae uses his magic on humans in a different way. like he doesn’t prank them that much, but rather manipulates their moods. he tries to charm anyone he comes in contact with to make them happy or to make them giggly

he wants to use his magic for good, because it often leaves a very painful burden on him in turn

𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤: the prodigy

honestly i feel like if jungkook was a witch he’d probably be an underdeveloped one, you feel?

he finds out his power late bc either his family didn’t know (they’re all human) or they just didn’t tell him in hopes of him never becoming one

but jungkook is being bullied by some guys in his grade and they corner him after school one day and jungkook gets so frustrated that he just,,, makes them all start uncontrollably burping

as dumb as it is, those kids never bother jungkook again

when he does get a hang of it, jungkook probably uses his magic for fun more often than not

jungkook is recruited by jin for this very reason. he catches jungkook messing with old people at the park on his afternoon runs and he’s like this kid is such a brat. i want him

jungkook is SUCH a fast learner holy shit

he goes to namjoon for every little question, to the point where namjoon is positive he’s become a better witch simply because jungkook has prepared him for any fuckin scenario known to man

he also makes himself float upside down in the kitchen at night so when hoseok comes down for a glass of water he almost pisses himself

“haha did i scare you” 

cue hoseok making jungkook fall down as he mumbles “little shit” under his breath

halloween is his favorite time of year and he likes to pull harmless pranks on the kiddies while scaring the mean teenagers ruining all of the children’s fun

like he sees this guy in a deformed mask holding a plastic knife about to scare a little boy so Jungkook just gives the dude a wedgie with his magic

all the kids are laughing at him and jungkook just smirks

honestly he doesn’t like reading about magic as much as he likes just doing it from intuition/namjoon’s instruction. he’s a lot like hoseok in that he has a lot of natural talent but not a lot of proper training when he first starts honing his ability

since jin yoongi and namjoon are in charge of teaching magic they all hound on him like “did u do the reading”

jungkook maybe glosses over everything and then just over-performs as compensation

they get on him abt it but there’s no lying about it, jungkook is a strong witch on his own

he hasn’t gotten a special manifestation of his magic Just Yet but he only gets stronger as he goes. the more he applies himself, the stronger he grows

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “goodbye”. 23 years ago. The afternoon after the isle was set up. Olympus. Zeus is milling about the throne room excessively drinking in celebration. The marble floor cracks. From them vines fly out and form a Venus fly trap. The mouth opens and out steps a figure in a dark verdant hooded cloak. They send vines in Zeus’s direction which wrap around neck)

Zeus: WHO ARE YOU!!!!

Persephone (removing the cloak): who the fuck do you think it is your “majesty”

Zeus: eurghooh uh. Lady Persephone. To what do I owe the pleasure

Persephone: oh stuff it you old sot. You know what you did!!!!

Zeus: I assure you. I have no idea whatsoever as to what you mean

Persephone: my husband and my two week son where missing when I woke up this morning.

Zeus (feigning concern): really? That’s horrible

Persephone: he did it didn’t he? Adam. He set that, that horrible god awful prison up

Zeus (dropping all pretences): I’m happy to say he did. Now all of those, ahem, people, for want of a better word, are where they belong and can no longer harm us. Oh don’t look at me like that my girl. This is a good thing. Now you’re no longer bound by that pissy little contract he forced you into. You can rejoin your mother here on Olympus and all is as it was a should be before my idiot little destroyed your life

Persephone: if he destroyed my life I wouldn’t be here defending him you stupid slut. Nobody gets it. Nobody has ever seemed to have gotten it. I went through that fissure. I approached the skull throne. I threw myself at him. Being up here was a fucking snooze fest of banality. So I took the first out I could find. And I could not have been happier of what my life has become. The only reason the contract exists is because my mother threatened humanity’s livelihood should I stay there. If it were up to me I would’ve never have come back. I had to sign that to save the mortals

Zeus: how can you possibly be happy in the worlds basement

Persephone: hades is a good husband and provider. He respects my boundaries. He’s never strayed without my consent. And unlike you. He’s never purposefully killed anyone.

Zeus: and what of what he did to my son?

Persephone: ok. I shan’t defend him for that. Because he doesn’t defend himself for it either. He knows he did something disreputable. But he’s more then made up for it. Among other things he paid for and officiated the boys wedding

Zeus: where the Helios was I in all this?

Persephone: you were wine drunk, literally swanning about and harassing anyone and all naiads that stayed still long enough for you to approach them

Zeus (fondly): ah yes, good times, good times. Wait. Where are you going

Persephone: I’m going back home. Pain and Panic are good babysitters. But when Persey cries she tends to burn their limbs

Zeus: who cares. They’re the help

Persephone: they’re family.

(She leaves the way she arrived. On the isle. It’s dark, cold and barren. Hades (John Barrowman) is unconscious. There’s a large green and yellow bruise on his left temple. He’s woken up by the sound of crying)

Hades: hey kiddo. It’s alright. We’ll be ok. I tbini. We just have to get to shelter

(A very large very angry dragon jumps out of the fog. End of flashback. Underworld. Present day. Persephone is at her desk on her laptop)

Persey: see ya ma! I’m going out

Persephone: goodbye dear. Wait. Where are you going?

Persey: Auradon. Don’t tell me you haven’t heard? Chad Charming’s gone postal, stole Verna’s wand. Ben’s missing and Lonnie just sent out the batsignal.

Persephone: oh my goodness. Wow. Do you need me to help?

Persey: just look after our home.

(They disappear a wisp of steel grey fire. Outskirts of Auradon. Elsa’s unconscious on the ground. The girls have found her)

Lonnie: oh my god

Jane: your majesty

Dizzy: we’re off to a great start

Jane: your majesty wake up. Please wake up

Dizzy: the bazooka use the bazooka

Jane: right yes of course

(She squirts ends with the bazooka which instantly wakes her up)

Elsa: ouch. Use that sparingly dear. We may need it more than you think. Could somebody help me up please. Thank you Lonnie

Lonnie: what happened?

Elsa: I teleported here and then I hit something

Jane: it’s a barrier. She put up a barrier around Auradon

Dizzy: ohhhh she’s good. I mean she’s an evil psychopathic bitch. But she’s clever

Lonnie: how do we get inside?

Elsa: Jane?

(Jane makes confused questioning noises)

Elsa: if you would be so kind as to assist me in getting past the barrier?

Jane: ohhhh. Yeah sure let’s do it

(The ice queen and light fairy use magic to create a hole in the barrier. As they do so a flaming comet zooms down and crash a few feet away from them)

Elsa: what the hell

Barrowman!Hades: Name's Hades, Lord of the dead. Hi, how ya doin'?

Jane: fuck

(Elsewhere in Auradon on the school grounds Mal and the others have just touched ground. Mal’s a human again doubled over in pain)

Mal (groaning painfully): urgh. FuckDAMMIT!!!! Jesus I’m not made for this

Hadie (worriedly): are you alright

Mal: I will be. A minivan I am not.

Hadie: was this the first time you’ve carried this many people?

Mal: yeah. Normally it’s just Ben. And even then it’s only if he asks.

Hadie: really.

Jay: let’s just say he wouldn’t watch GOT for the political intrigue

Carlos: or HYTTD for the animation

Evie: or merlin for the story line

Hadie (knowledgeably): ahhh, he’s a scaly

Core four: yep

Harry: can you let me go now?

Jay: uhhhh. Nah

Harry: why?

Mal: because we may yet need a human sacrifice. And you’re the only schmo who fits the bill.

Harry: huh?

Carlos: Gil and I are loved by everyone. I’m the kings adoptive son. He’s the kings brother. You’re the ground people use to scrape gum off their shoes

Evie: that’s an insult to shoes gum and ground. And scraping

Carlos: my apologies. To shoes gum ground and scraping

Harry: I hate you all.

Jay: don’t expect us to lose sleep over it

Harry: besides. I’m the last person who should be a sacrifice

Evie: that specific criteria has been discontinued

Harry: huh

Jay: people like you can be scarified now

Harry: shit

Mal: oh no. Oh no no no no no. This is not good

Evie: they’re all asleep. DOUG

Mal: BEN

Gil: LONNIE

Evie: please pickup please please please pickup.

Mal: nonononononono. Gah. I miss you

Gil: please be safe

Jay: Jane isn’t answering either.

Mal: ok ok ok. So. The king. His major-domo/regent. And both their regents are missing. All the remaining students are asleep. It’s only half past two in the afternoon but I already want to take a brandy bath. Because Auradon has no leader. So we’re all screwed to fuckery

Jay: well that’s not entirely true is it. Hadie could you summon the three little bitches. Cause I really really want them to see this

(Hadie makes Uma, Harriet and Cj appear via grey smoke)

Uma: what the hell’a going on?

Harriet (very confused): we were still on the bridge and what’s all that funny coloureds stuf on the ground?

Jay: you three are gonna hate this. You, Uma, especially are gonna hate it. (In his announcer voice) NOW PRESENTING. MALEFICENT BERTHA. THE ACTING QUEEN OF AURADON

(He bows to Mal, closely floored by Carlos Celia Gil and Hadie. Evie is pulled to her knees by Carlos. Mal looks like she was just clipped by a car)

Uma: what?

Jay: well after the wedding she’ll be queen legally. But for now she’s just the regent. It’s wonderful don’t ya think?

Hadie: it’s marvellous. Now bow heathens

Harriet: fat fucking chance.

Jay: oh but Harry’s bowing to the one true queen

Harry: Celia bent my spine

Celia: it was my pleasure

Uma: I am not bowing to that.

Jay: oh you act as if you have a choice

(He uses magic to make the three pirates kowtow to the dark fairy)

Jay: there ya go. Isn’t that better?

(Mal takes a swig of her hipflask and disappears into purple smoke. Everyone stands up again)

Gil: where did mal go?

Jay: I think I know

Evie: then tell us ohhhh. Yeah. Sounds about right

Hadie: where is she. I’ll go to her. Me Evie and Harry

Harry: I don’t fucking think so

Hadie: she’s family. We have to help her

Harry: I’ll bring the coughing

Evie: if that’s going with you then mal will probably commit a sin on sacred ground

Hadie: where is it that she’s gone to?

Jay: you’ll see

(He moves his lower arm around creating a cloud of gold smoke that surrounds Evie and Hadie. When it clears they’ve disappeared. The smoke deposits them on stone steps. Hadie’s clutching Harry’s arm)

Harry: I hate you. I honest to mmmmother hate you

Evie: feelings mutual. Come on let’s go

Hadie: where are we Evie

Evie: where the king was crowned a year and a half ago

(They enter the cathedral . Only Mal is now where to be seen)

Harry: well she’s not here let’s go

Evie: up bup bup. There is one way to lure her out of hiding. Hadie the dagger please

Harry (having flashbacks to when he was 14): no Nono don’t you dare dont you fucking think about it. FUUUUUUCK! She did it

(Evie uses the dagger to slash Harry’s shin. He falls down in pain. Mal pops up from behind the pulpit)

Mal: I heard Scottish screaming (realises she was played) aw crap I shoulda known. I hate it when you do that

Evie: it’s a tested tried and true method. Plus it’s fun to maim him

Mal: yeah...(she heaves a sigh and sits down heavily on the stage) I’m queen. “Yay” I want Ben. Is that pathetic? It sounds pathetic

Evie (sitting down next to her): no. I want Doug. Does that make me ok pathetic?

Mal: no. It’s a change though. Did you ever think two years ago we’d be wanting our boyfriends here protecting us?

Evie: two years ago I wanted to sink my claws into a prince. Now I have the perfect man

Mal: no, the perfect man bypassed you and asked me out. But Doug’s a close second though

Evie (cackling): bitch

Mal: sister. Older by a day

Hadie: May I scoot in if we’re sharing things?

Mal (making a space for him between her and Evie): sure. What do you want to talk about?

Hadie: I never knew my mother. And before you say “don’t rub it in”. I wasn’t born on the island. I’m an Olympian by birth. But when Adam set the isl...you know what, let’s just call it what it is. When Adam created the prison he convinced our beloved uncle Zeus to put our dad there first. Theory was that if Satan could be subdued by a human. Then other “undesirables” would be easier to round up. So when I was two weeks old, Zeus and Hypnos used their combined magic to put him and I there. I have never known anything else. And the next year Hook uh “hooked up” with a street walker, Harriet. And uh

Evie: not a lot stuff to do over there

Mal: well you know except

Evie: don’t. Please. Don’t. It’s bad enough I’m related to that thing on the floor. But having to imagine THAT happening. Gah...it crosses a line

Mal: thanks for the nightmares

Evie: you started it.

Hadie: I’m a hedonist. A disciple of Dionysus to be precise

(Evie looks at him with her mouth agape)

Evie: well that took a turn

Mal: what is a “disciple of Dionysus”?

Evie: it’s basically some sort of cult. Mostly guys. Girls are there as well. I had the unfortunate honour of delivering a flyer to one of their clubhouses last month

Hadie: sorry about that. I told them to be a little bit more discreet after that

Mal (overjoyed): no

Evie (slightly sick): it can’t be

Hadie: I was eighteen and bored. What else was there to do but set up a club

Evie: try to find us.

Hadie: whenever I wasn’t with my friends or our dad I checked up on you. One time you were trying to puncture the barrier with magic. And another you were crying in an alleyway Mal. I even tried to make a wig for you when you were in the market place with a buzzcut Evie.

Mal: that’s actually quite sweet.

Hadie: I just want to tell my mother “don’t worry. My life wasn’t completely terrible. I’m happy”.

Mal: when this is over I wanna tell Maleficent “fuck you, you giant living accessory, fuck you”

Evie: I want to tell Grimhilde. “You were wrong. Princes are not for me, Doug is perfect for me and I eat what I want when I want”

Hadie (wistfully) and Mal and Evie (vengefully): I cant wait to see the look on her face

(This is when “hey look ma, I made it happens. At the school Gil has a peace offering)

Uma: what the hell are these?

Gil: berries. They’re amazing. Blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, fun fact, never get in a strawberry eating contest with Mal. You will lose. And need your stomach pumped

Uma: this is this supposed to make up for what you did? You betrayed me. Abandoned me for this. No amount of whatever this shit is is gonna erase that

Gil: I didn’t leave because I wanted to hurt you Uma. I left because it was best for me. You know as well as anyone that the island is an awful place for people like us. So, yeah, I left. But that’s what you wanted. I did what you wanted. Just not how you wanted it to happen. The fact of the matter is Uma, you scare me. I still love you. But you scare me. All I could think of at the dance when you were attacking the ship was “this is what I get for trying to be happy”. I still have nightmares about it. If you care so much about getting kids off the island why were you so mad that I left. Irrespective of who I left with. Shouldn’t you be happy I got away at all?

Uma (standing up to her full height which just barely reaches Gil’s chin): you left me. To go galavanting off with them. You may not think it. But a lot of sins are never forgiven. So no. I’m not “happy that you got away” because you betrayed my loyalty to do so

Jay: Gil, buddy, leave her to stew. She’s not worth it.

(Gil leaves heartbroken and joins Carlos and Celia near some of the sleeping students)

Uma: lemme guess. You’re his bit on the side? Or is he your chippy?

Jay (chuckling sarcastically): oh Uma. He’s with Lonnie. I’m with Carlos. He and I are not together. But he’s done so well here. He’s great at chess and tourney and R.O.A.R. He’s set up a book club. Every month he goes to the isle and hands out flyers and food and blankets and weathers the hate he for it. He’s a good guy. And him “disrespecting you” wasn’t malicious. Because here’s the thing. You seem to be belabouring under the impression that this is your story. It’s not. It’s ours. It’s always been our story. Mal and me and Carlos and Evie. You don’t even get a look in until way way after this whole thing started. It is not about you. It has never been about you. I’m just sorry you still think that after all these years.

Uma: you don’t deserve to have people celebrate you after what you did.

Jay: what about what you did. You set Harry on Carlos five years ago. You kidnapped Ben and tried to murder him to get under Mal’s skin. Face it “Captain”, you say that what you do is for the island but it’s not. It never has been. What you did was for you. To make yourself feel less worthless than you are

Uma: so what now? You gonna kill me?

Jay: no. Not today. Not while Mal still feels guilty about the shrimpy incident. But I want you to know something. I would’ve done it you know. I would have murdered you if you murdered Mal and Ben. And neither Evie Doug Carlos or Dizzy could have stopped me. Because that is what you get when you mess with my family. And I would’ve made that thing that follows you around like a fixed mutt clean up your remains. Just bear that in mind next time you try to wrest control from my queen

(At the cathedral Harry’s trying to bandage his leg. Hadie sits down next to him and heals him with magic)

Hadie: there you go. All better

Harry: I guess I should say thank you.

Hadie: nah. Don’t expect you to. But I do wanna show you something.

Harry: what?

(Hadie flicks his wrist and there in a darkened bedroom. A baby’s bedroom. It’s filled with roughshod burlap sack stuffed toys hand stitched and fraying. A makeshift mobile of various coloured glass hangs above a safe looking but old crib)

Harry: where are we.

Hadie: where you should’ve been for the past nineteen years if I hadn’t panicked and took you to the Jolly Roger.

Harry: this is my room? At the wherever it’s was you lived.

Hadie: our room. At the lair.

Harry: holy shit. You two. You two wanted to

Hadie: yeah. Dad wanted to keep you. But I was four. You got stuck on the way out. I thought I broke you.

Harry: yeah well, a lot of people would say that there is as nuffink you coulda done

Hadie: I could d waited for dad to wake up. I could’ve asked her what to do.

Harry: like you said you four. When I was four I went down to the docks to try and get rid of ol leftie here. Thought it’d get dad to like me

Hadie: I know. I heard the story. Tick-Tock wouldn’t go for it.

Harry: why settle for the after mint when you can have the rotting steak? You can still see the scar. Look.

Hadie: is that why you carry the...

Harry: the hook? Yeah. That and added protection. For some reason people don’t really like me. Might be the skull face. I dunno

(Hadie laughs. Evie enters the illusion)

Evie (drolly): how sentimental

Hadie (brightly): hey sis

Evie: I mean I haven’t been this choked up since got a chunk of moussaka caught in my throat

Mal (also crashing the conversation): Doug made her laugh at a state dinner eight months ago.

Harry: well I’ve seen him. He doesn’t have to do much.

Evie: have you ever had a telekinetic wedgie?

Harry: no

Evie: oh. Then we’ll be in for a treat then

(Her eyes glow briefly, the illusion breaks and Harry’s lifted ten feet in the the air by the back of his underwear yelling in pain all the while)

Evie: you know, I’ve been thinking. The ember is defunct because calamari thee it in the bay. So we need to reignite it. And correct me of I’m wrong but hades has a massive temper problem?

Hadie: not for years but yes.

Evie: and Hook is the angriest person I know. So. If he by some twisted non miracle gets his hair set on fire while he’s holding the ember then it can work again.

Hadie: don’t appreciate the word phrasing. But I understand the general idea

Harry (bored): so how’re you gonna do it. Beat me up. Conjure up my worst fears.

Evie: talk to you. I’m just gonna talk to you. Believe me. It’s gonna hurt me a lot more then it hurts you. At least not physically

Harry: like I give a shit. Just get on with it so it can be over. Who’s got the pebble

(It conks him on the side of his head)

Mal (sarcastically): oops

Harry: ok first off. I hate you and your carcass needs to be burned with you still breathing.

Mal: immune to fire.

Harry: I meant iron.

(Mal lunges are him it Hadie holds her back)

Evie: now where was I? Oh yes. Breaking your spirit. You realise of course everyone hates you. Your father, us, Jay, Carlos, Ben. Hell. Even Gil only hung around with you out of pity. And Uma. The first chance she got she dumped you like yesterday’s trash. Because that’s what you are Hook. Trash. Useless rotting disgusting trash. Nobody loves. Nobody cares about you. Nobody wants you around.

Harry (nervously): Uma

Evie: threw you away and branded you traitor the minute you questioned her judgement. She never wanted a first mate or a, whatever it was you were to her, she wanted an easily malleable, easily swayed, lapdog. That’s all you were to her “Icarus”.

Harry (voice brittle): Harriet

Evie: lied to you for nineteen years. To save her own skin.

Harry (weakly): stop. Please. Stop

Evie: sorry for what I’m about to say Mal but it’s necessary. (Turning back to Harry). Did you stop when Carlos begged you to stop chasing him in the market that day. Did you stop when dizzy asked you taking all the money from the till? No? Then why the hell should I stop now? Face it Icarus. Nobody wants you. Nobody likes you. Nobody loves you! You mean nothing to anyone. You were born useless. You will die useless. So stop wasting everybody’s time and just do it. Die like the dog you are!

(Harry roars and lunges at her. She evades him easily and he crashes into the stage. He stands up. The verbal beat down worked. His eyes are glowing blood red. His hair on fire in the same colour. The ember has reactivated)

Harry: now it’s your turn

(He shoves his palm out and Evie’s thrown into the wall. Brass candle stands wrap around her neck and starts to dig into her skin. Evie screams hits and kicks at the air. Mal calmly walks up to Harry, uses the sceptre to stab him in the back and pulls out his heart)

Mal: put her down gently. Good. Now lie down like the bitch you are. (She notices Hadie looking at her in horror) what? Did you really expect me to touch him with my bare hands? Here you go (she swings the aorta over to him). You can put it back. You alright E?

Evie: yeah I’m ok. I’m just going to stomp on his face with SPIKED CLEATS!

Hadie: that horrible experience worked. Now we gotta try to make it work for all of us

Mal: how. And don’t say what I think you’re gonna say because I am not working with him

Hadie (sane time as her): we need to work together as a family

Evie: fuck

Mal: how’d you propose we do this then.

Hadie: friction. I think. When I got us out of the isle I rubbed the ember

Harry: and covered it in your own blood

Hadie: yes. So if we replicate that. Then maybe. Just maybe. We’ll all be able to use it.

Evie: good plan. But again. How do we all do it. Cause in case you haven’t noticed. There’s three of us. And one ember.

Hadie: Harry’s here as well

Evie: I know. I intentionally left him out. To me he doesn’t count.

Hadie: well dear you’re going to have to get into his headspace.

Mal: my Scottish accent is legally classed as offensive

Evie: it’s true. Absolutely fucking horrendous

Hadie: heh?

Mal: one time in class we had to put ourselves in the shoes of evil we hate most.

Evie: all four of us chose Harry.

Harry: now ya see what I gotta put up with?

Hadie: indeed I do.

Mal: gargh! Fine. We’ll do what you think is right. But only because I need to stop Maleficent. Ok.

Hadie (smoking giddily): ok

Evie: urgh fine.

Harry: whatever it takes for me to get away from these two twigs

(This is when “friction” happens)

[dying-mall-rat]

I got nothin better to do so story time!

So this was about September of my 8th grade year. My freind, well not really my freind but this girl who I knew who also let me hit her njoy during lunch. Anyways she heard a rumor that the vice principle was searching kids again. Wich by the way she isnt supposed to do but whatever. Anyways my freind knew she was gonna get searched cause they always search the popular kids, and she asked me to hold her shit for her and I was like yeah sure whatever. She only had her njoy on her that day so I only had that with me. But she gave it to me during homeroom (we were in the same homeroom) and I kinda didnt really have a good place to hide it besides my chest binder so I had it stuffed in the side. What she didnt tell me however was that she first off had the grossest pod flavor that day, I'm pritty sure her pod was burnt cause it tasted like shit, but anyways it was a really noticable smell. 2nd off her pod was also broken so I had a leaking pod that also smelled of burnt fruit stuffed in my binder. I know that most teacher dont give a shit and only really tell if they see you with shit but I was still on edge anyways. But it went smooth till lunch. We had agreed that I'd give it back to her at lunch cause she got searched during like 3rd period but I didnt have a chance to get it out and give it to her so lunch. Anyways I was waiting in the bathroom for her before lunch and she gets there I give it to her it all goes fine until we leave the bathroom. She gets about 2 feet out the bathroom when the vice principle stops her. This bitch starts asking questions like she knows what's happening( she didnt) but she couldnt get up to say shit so then we just went back to lunch. But we have this time where we can go into the parking lot of the school after we eat and so we were out there and I wasnt hanging out with the girl but her group was next to mine and some people were passing around the vape, and I was telling my freinds about the whole thing when this girl who, idrk who she is, takes a hit only to start visibly coughing up smoke and every body freezes. And I mean everybody. I'm not sure how but the principle didnt notice or just didnt care but half my grade was talking ab it for like a week after lol .

[rickiedevron]

“The Fuck?”

Selection Line: “Hah. You look like a fuckin’ fool, but... Eh. Its kinda cute. I'll humor this shit for a hot minute."

Class: Adventurer / Jill of All Trades.

Weapons: Pistols, short swords, hidden daggers, embellished brass knuckles and fists.

AI Behavior: Dirty fighting is Rickie's style. She has a keen eye for kinks, quirks or weak spots in someone's armor and expertly (if not happily) exploits it for her advantage. If disarmed or out of ammo she'll start to use the setting against her opponent. She values her speed and dexterity above brute strength. But in the off chance all else fails, she'll turn into a bit of a savage. Biting throats, claws eyeing and breaking limbs.

Battle Lines:

"Y'know, I wonder how you'll cope after I mop you with the fucking floor. But uhm.. Dont really care," Rickie grins, her knuckles cracking beneath the pressure of her palms as she popped the bones in both hands.

"Ah--! Ah! Aha! Y-You sure got me there," Rickie groans, trying to breathe through the dizzying pain whilst separating her feet to match the width of her shoulders for sturdier foundation whilst trying to regain her full senses.

With a swift glance around the last few individuals remaining standing, her heart hammering in her ears as she breathed deeply to try and calm herself. Swiftly, with a glance to her fallen teammates, she swiftly readjusts her grips on her swords before swinging them around between her fingers. "Aight boys," she gruffly remarks, adjusting her stance for a more defensive posture, poising her swords to strike whilst , "Lets dance."

“Aha!" Rickie snickers, "Aren't you just pleased as punch?" And with this, after having effectively blinding the opponent, Rickie swiftly sucker punches the being before they could blink away the sand from their gaze.

Disguised in her masculine clothing and painted up to resemble her manly persona Ricardo, Rickie wears a most dashing smile, her dominance reeking from her posture whilst confidently swaggering into the room. She quickly adjusts her leather jacket before huffing out in a gruff, "Well... Its a party now that I'm here."

Cooldowns:

“Wait!” Rickie hollers, taking but a moment to reload her pistol during the short hesitation from her foes, their shock from her cry leaving them dazed and confused. Until Rickie cocks her gun and raises it, remarking an, “Unpause!” Before shooting.

“Oh, fuck me righ’ in the ass,” Rickie groans, ducking and dodging the pursuing strikes of her foe, unable to retaliate quite yet given the exhaustion of her muscles. They’d been at this for too long, “You wanna slow down bub?!” She gripes, “If you fuck like you fight you’ll kill a bitch with how slow this is taking! I mean gotdamn!”

Exiting Battle:

“Please tell me someone saw that?” Rickie boasts, her eyes and lips sharing in a large smile as she jogs closer to the group, “Cause that was fucking awesome, and I’ma be tellin’ it around the bar for a while so I need my witness!”

“Shit!” Rickie scrambled, rifling through her trousers deep pockets, “Where’s my bullets?!” She begins to panic, watching as her opponents crept closer and closer Awh fuck it!” In one swift motion Rickie chucks her empty pistol at the head of the nearest offender before high tailing it.

“No no, wait! Wait! Lemme find a fucking hair tie, hot as fuckin’ balls--,” Rickie whines, rummaging in her pockets a moment, effectively causing a confusion to grow in the minds of her opponents as she flippantly and carelessly risks her life with such a tricky action, though as she pulls her hand from her pocket she’d conjure a smoke bomb. She’d flash a final smirk before throwing the bomb on the ground at her feet.

KO’d:

”I’ll get up eventually,” Rickie’s trembling breaths were only so from the immense pain, trying her best to control the quiver in her voice as she refused to succumb to her injuries before she gave her final warning, “And once I do you’ll be meat for the hogs.”

Resurrected:

“Gods,” Rickie groans, rolling onto her side to begin coughing into the ground, her exhaustion and aches not doing much to subside the truest pangs of agony she’d ever felt, and quickly RIckie voices her discomfort: “I’m so fucking hungry... Lets get some burgers after this.”

“Welp,” Rickie sighs, “I’ma definitely need a full body shower after this.”

I’m late as fuck with this, but... Tada. Tagged by: Someone? I cant remember who...  Tagging: Annnnyone.

[ella--cooper]

Big & Little Bear | Self - Para

[mentions: @annccoopcr @jennaxcooper @madisonharrow @franmellina @evieblmnt]

“How’d I know I’d find you here, hm?” Hector smirked as he held up the twenty four pack in his hand and patted his pocket where she knew he’d have a few bigass blunts for the two of them. “Some things never change, I guess.”

Ella smiled when she heard the sound of Hector’s voice, part of her feeling like tonight would be the night he finally showed up. It was their favorite spot by the water, the one they’d come to after he’d buy her a snack to make her feel better or rather the place he had first caught her smoking and had taken the time to teach her how instead of letting her cough her lungs out. “I’m a creature of habit, hermano,” she replied with a soft laugh before moving to make room for him to sit with her. 

“Yeah no shit, it’s nice though. Lot of years I came here without you. Wasn’t the same though.” Despite all the shit going on for both of them, Hector felt at home sitting next to Ella, cracking open a beer for her before he did the same for himself. He could still remember the night she couldn’t stop playing with the label on her soda can, desperate to find a way to tell him she was gay. And when she did, he only smiled and hugged her and told her he’d give her some tips on how to hit on girls. It had never occurred to him to be anything other than loving. The Cooper sisters were his family, there was no doubt about that. 

But still the heaviness weight in between them. The reality that Evie was pregnant, that Hector already had a grown daughter, all of the past things they had tried to bury suddenly unearthing itself in time for the two of the to be in great need of a chance to breathe. So they sat there in silence at first, the only sound that could be heard was the opening of the cans or the click of the lighter. They passed it back and forth, watching their smoke in the sky, their bodies finally relaxing back against the hard rocks. Their thoughts still as chaotic but it a bit more filtered, slightly subdued. 

“El, I..” Hector started, but wasn’t sure where to even start, his voice caught in his throat as he tried to express everything on his mind. 

“Evie told me,” she said instead, figuring he might not be able to talk without knowing what she knew. “Think she told me before she told you actually which is not..me trying to be petty I just,” she finally looked at him as she flicked some ash off the end of blunt and handed it back to him. “And it’s fucking weird, dude. I mean, you’re the love of my life’s baby daddy that’s some serious days of our lives shit,” she told hi, but there wasn’t anger in her voice. “Then again, I suppose if someone was going to be a sperm donor, it’s good that it’s you, at least the kid won’t be ugly,” she added and nudged him. 

Her words actually caused a loud laugh to leave his mouth and he remembered why it was that he and Ella got along the way the day. Remembered the ways he had seen himself in her and she had picked up so many of his habits. Luckily she had a much better head on her shoulders and would never make some of the same mistakes he did. “She and I were just messing around, you know? I..I still don’t know what we’re gonna do but you know, let’s be real here, that kid is just as much yours as it is mine. It’s not like she wants to raise a kid with me but if we keep the baby then you know I’m there. I’m gonna be there.” 

Ella nodded along, knowing he was speaking the truth but the situation was still weird. “I guess,” she started and made sure he was smoking as she spoke so he was a bit relaxed. “I guess now would be a good time to tell you I’ve been hooking up with Frankie. And before you say anything..it took me a minute to figure out who she was.” 

Hector’s expression clearly changed at the mention of Fran but all he could do was let out a laugh. “For fucking real? Jesus, El, you really don’t give these ladies a chance.” He let out another laugh that only grew when their eyes met and next thing they knew they were both cracking up. Until Hector stopped and looked at her. “Wait, does that mean you knew Bree was my kid?”

Ella almost spit out the blunt when he spoke, her eyes widening. “Wait what the fuck? You’re Bree’s dad? Nah dude if I knew that you know I would’ve told you ASAP. I mean shit, now it kind of makes sense, like if you look at her for long you can see the resemblance but I just thought that meant Fran had a thing for latinx dudes. Shit, oh shit! So wait, you’re a double dad? Oh damn, dude, drink that beer, I’ll light up my joint,” she told him and did just that, reaching out a hand to give his shoulder a squeeze. “You alright?”

Hector took a breath, grateful that they could just be real with each other and getting a kick out of how they were able to navigate these complex emotions with such ease. “Yeah so I guess we fucked each other’s person, huh? That’s something. And yeah, she’s my kid. Fran kind of told me because she had to. I ran into them at the supermarket. We got into this big ass fight but I’m supposed to see Bree soon. You spent time with her already? I mean I’m alright. My heads all sorts of fucked up, you know? I mean I kind of thought Fran would never come back and not did she only come back but she’s back with a ten year old who’s life I missed out on. It feels fucked up and i dont know how to not be fucking pissed off but also like..shit, am I ready to be a dad? To Bree and to this potential kid? Hell fucking no,” he admitted and took a long drag. “But I’m going to. I ain’t no fucked up dad, I’m gonna be there for her as much as I can. I’m just..fucking terrified to fuck up.”

Ella nodded along, finishing off her first beer before going for the second. She loved when Hector bought the cans and they could just easily drink their way through the pack. “Dude, I’m not even gonna try to act like I have some sage wisdom around this,you know how I feel about kids. But I mean you’re a good fucking person. I know you don’t think that because you like to get all broody and introspective. But compared to a lot of people in this world? You’re good to people. And yeah, I’ve spent some time with Bree. She’s a good kid. Kind of sarcastic and curious like us. Definitely a product of you and Fran. Speaking of are you two...cause if you are then I officially feel weird about still fucking her, cause i mean, you know you’re my guy.”

Hector laughed softly and drank some of his own beer as he thought about it. “I don’t know what she and I are. I mean when we fought she said all this shit and we talked on the phone and it was just, real talk? It’s fucking scary, E. I mean, ten years I spent convincing myself that she just..threw me away, you know? That she woke up one day and just stopped wanting me. And I didn’t blame her. Cause I never thought much of myself. But it thought it would be different with her, things would be different and then they weren’t. Come to find out she had all these like real logical reasons and a daughter and all of these things that turn reality or what I thought was reality just on it’s ass and I’m suppose dto what? Just go with the flow and trust the process and shit? I’m fucking terrified. I mean what if, god what if it starts to get real good and then she decides nah, shit’s too unsafe, I gotta move again and next thing I know, my daughter is gone and Fran is gone and...I can’t just jump back into what we were you know? I’m not 22 anymore. I got shit I need to do, commitments and everything and I don’t know. I dont think she even wants me like that no more. I think she thinks she does because she still sees me as that guy who picked her up for the carnival on our second date and I see myself as...

“A piece of shit? You love calling yourself that,” she told him and cut him off, putting another beer in his hand. “I got tough news for you Hec. You’re not a piece of shit. yeah, you’ve done some..questionable shit, but that doesn’t make you the devil. I mean honestly, I’m too fucking high to give you a pep talk and I know that’s not what you need. So like you’d say to me, nut up or fuck off. You got a daughter, a baby on the way, but at least you got your life and a job, a working car, running water. You got everything you need to give those babies a good life. You can’t keep living with your head in the past or what Fran might or might not think. I mean shit, if you love her, you go with what you feel and i know im not the one to be giving love advice because me and Evie,” she took a breath. “I dont’ know that shit is complicated too but what I do know is that I’ll be by her side however she needs it. Because she’s my girl, always will be.” 

Hector stayed quiet and sipped his beer as she spoke, knowing she was right. “Damn, how’d you get so good at this, little bear?”

Ella let out a loud laugh and shook her head. “Oh my god you haven’t called me that in the longest. Jesus, what a throwback.” Ella shook her head as she laughed before scooting over so she could put her head on his shoulder. “For the record, I’m happy you’re alive, big bear. This life would be pretty shitty without you. You’re one of the reasons Im happy I came home even if I’m still committed to finally getting to you to New York one day. I know you’d love it,” she assured him before passing the joint, watching their smoke disappear over the water. “And I don’t know if I’m good at this, I just talk out of my ass. I learned from the best,” she told him and tapped his side lightly which only made him laugh. 

She wasn’t lying when she said she was grateful for him. After her parents passed, Hector and Kit were really the only two male figures she had any respect for and could actually get through to her. Hector had always been patient, even when she was a little bitch and swore she didn’t need anyone’s help. But he had let her scream, even let her hit him once and only had given her advice on how to pack a bigger punch. He was the brother she had never had and never knew she needed. The person who’d believe in her no matter what, the way Anna did but also wasn’t afraid to be a little honest with her, to see her with more of her flaws. Hector was her family, without a doubt, and he always would be. 

Hector eventually moved his arm to wrap around Ella’s shoulders, smiling softly as he thought about how far they had come. How he had known her since she was born and he couldn’t be more proud. How even though he felt like a fuck up, he knew he would be a good dad because of the way he had been with Ella and Jenna, the platonic partnership he and Anna had over the years. The Cooper girls were his family, without a doubt and always would be. 

“So you know I met Madison, though I like to call her angel, she saved my ass the other night. Got her drunk off lime a ritas and shit,” he told Ella with a laugh. “I shouldn’t be surprised you already on that buts he seems a little heart eyes and shit, you feel the same?” 

Ella laughed softly and nodded, taking the joint from his fingers. “I do. I think I kind of fell half in love with her already,” she admitted and exhaled. “She is an angel. Heaven sent for sure. I mean I’d say I’m unworthy but...I think she and I are going to be exactly what we’re meant to be. Plus, eventually she’ll realize what she really wants it some dick but we’ll always have something special. In the meantime though. I’m going to enjoy those sweet angel lips and that cute as fuck smile. It’s funny though, you know, everyone, even my sisters act like I have all this power. Like Madison is this innocent little thing. But she could just as easily break my heart and she just might but I’m okay with that. I’d love to get my heart broken by her as ass backwards as it sounds. But I know you've seen what I’ve seen. She’s a fighter, got this little fire in her, you know?”

Hector nodded along, knowing exactly what she meant. “Well then protect your heart as much as you can, alright? I mean enjoy the ride and all of that but still, you deserve all that good shit too. Even if you think you’re too smart for it to happen sometimes.” 

She laughed softly and nodded, appreciating the way he said it. She wanted to tell him about Jenna and about Anna and Jared, she wanted so badly to but she knew he was dealing with a lot and in the end, despite how stubborn she was, it wasn’t her place to tell. She just hoped her sisters would feel the trust she had in him, hope they knew that he was someone to lean on, someone who would always protect them. 

“It’s all kind of fucked up, isn’t it? The webs we weave. How connected you and I are. But I guess I wouldn’t want to be fucked up with anyone else, you know?”

Hector laughed softly, “Yeah I know what you mean. Fucked up together,” he told her with a laugh and knocked his can against hers lightly. “You and me, Little B, we gotta keep our fam together, you know? Plus, Tia Ella ain’t so bad, right?” He smiled sweetly and leaned over to press his lips to the side of her head, laughing as she pretended to swat him off. 

“Yeah, yeah, I love you too, Big Bear. I’m gonna get Bree to start calling you that and hey,” she told him and pushed at his head lightly, “You’re gonna be a great fucking dad. I know you will so stop second guessing yourself so much. That shit is lame, alright?”

Hector nodded and held his fist out for her to bump before they did their little handshake. “Big bear and little bear for life, right?”

Ella let out a loud laugh and nodded, “For better or for worse, dude, big bear and little bear for life.” 

[bowsersrighthandwoman]

Therapeutic Friendships

Takes place after 'Stage Fright?'

Saihara has friends too guys

I kno people like to brotp iruma and ouma (same thooooo) but imagine this

Akamatsu and Iruma as the lesbian angel and devil on Saihara's shoulders

@owoanonchan

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Loud laughter filled the house.

Saihara laid on the couch as he stared up at the ceiling, his fingers intertwined with each other on top of his chest. He held a blank expression on his face as the laughter went on and on and on.

Honestly, she wasn't who he wanted to talk to. He wanted to talk to her girlfriend and his best friend but she was out at work and he really needed to talk to someone. And its not like Iruma was a bad person... she was just... incredibly vulgar.

He glanced at the blond inventor when he heard a wheeze.

"You done yet Miu," he deadpanned.

"Ahahahahah!!!!! w a it," a cough, "ok, ok," Iruma took a deep breath then sighed and gave the man a level look. "What's the problem again?"

Saihara sighed. "The problem," he stressed, "is that i shouldn't have let things escalate like that. He's my client."

Iruma stared then raised an eyebrow, the metaphorical question mark popping up over her head. "And?"

Ugh, maybe he should've just waited for Akamatsu...

"My uncle always told me to never have personal relationships with clients. It can make you vulnerable and you need to be an unmoveable object in this line of work."

Iruma snorted. "Ok, lets get one thing straight here," she said holding up a finger. "You may be the softest, most naive man I've ever met and you thinking for one second you can be as 'stick up my ass' as your uncle is the dumbest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth"

"Thanks Miu."

"You're welcome," she replied. "Now then, I still dont see what the fuckin' problem is. Who honestly gives a fuck if your fuckin' your client? Like... it's not like its anyones business anyways? And you do like the little twink right?"

Saihara blinked twice. "Y-yeah... But I shouldn't..."

"Yeah yeah 'cause he's your client but, like.... He's still a person and you 2 apparently got it real hot for each other." Iruma snickered while Saihara blushed deeply.

"Besides! You gotta stop trying to hide in your uncle's shadow! Get the fuck out and into your own spotlight you emo bitch!"

Saihara gave Iruma an unimpressed look. "He's the one who taught me everything i know"

"So?? That don't mean you gotta follow everything he does! You're Saihara Shuichi not Saihara Tetsuo!" Iruma crossed her arms and frowned. "You need to chill out, smoke some weed or somethin'. Like, you got a whole ass twink that you actually like throwing himself at you and you're worried about the fact that you're his manager!?!"

"....I should've waited for Kaede," he groaned.

Iruma sighed then leaned forward a bit. "Alright alright, forget that for a moment. You do like him right?"

"....Yeah"

"And you had fun with him that day right?"

"It was the most exciting thing I've ever done in my life," he said truthfully then looked a little sheepish. "Dont tell Kaede i said that..."

"Oh, don't worry, she has way more excitement with me then she ever did with you too so it's a'ight."

"Thanks Miu."

Iruma grinned then winked. "But, seriously, you're stessin' yourself out over nothin'. You both like each other, you both want each other, just embrace your feeling ya dip"

That sounded awfully familiar... Before Saihara could respond, Iruma continued.

"Then grab him, bend him over, and RAIL HIS ASS TIL HE FORGETS HIS OWN NAME!!"

His face immediantly flamed up. He grabbed a pillow and held it over his own face before screaming, "MIU PLEASE!!!" tho it was slightly muffled

Miu cackled.

Bonus!!

"Don't get me wrong, his music is bangin' but I.D.K what the fuck you see in him. Then again im, like, Tenko levels of gay for my piano nerd so maybe that's why."

"M-maybe..."

"I mean, even i can tell he's a devious lil'shit i mean look at him. Bang, Bang THOT ALERT"

"Yeah. Pretty sure he was acting scared so i can let my guard down and give him the chance to seduce me."

"To be fair, if he went up to you and said 'Fuck me' you'd back peddle real quick and come up with like, 87 different excuses so good on him honestly."

"....Thanks Miu."

"You're welcome u vu"

"You 2 would get along."

"You think so emo boy?"

"Yes."