#and then he finds out hes gonna lose his job anyways because the company hes working for is going under

[scarycranegame]

I think you and others are making me shift my attitude about Jimmy. True, he ain’t no Ellen Ripley, and he’s even more of an ass than Rigby, but now I’m thinking about softening up a bit on him.

yessss hahahahaha YESSSSS..... THE YIMPY RENAISSANCE IS UPON US!!!!! join us in our yimpy cult :DDDD

[two-white-butterflies]

parallel lines | d. targaryen | part eight

Description: An ordinary middle school teacher moves to a desolate town with her fiancee. After suffering episodes of vivid nightmares, she realizes that his uncle looks exactly like the man in her dreams.

Pairings: daemon targaryen/reader, aemond targaryen/reader

Trope: Reincarnation

TW: Murder. Non-Con.

series masterlist |

"If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary You and I go from one kiss to gettin married." - loml, Taylor Swift.

(TARGARYEN RESIDENCE. 2008)

It was a hail mary from the beginning. Two people who had everything to lose, plotting to have more than they could handle. "She must've known." Alicent breathes, playing with the rosary-styled bracelet on her left wrist. "- I told you not to cheap out on the assassins. We'll get the money back anyways." she scolded.

Her grip on the bracelet tightened. Viserys' took a deep breath.

"I did not hire mediocre mercenaries. It was a recommendation from the goddamn Governor of Texas. If you're searching for good mercenaries, you're not gonna find them because people who kill people for a living don't have a moral compass." he gritted his teeth. His anger doubling at every second he spent in his wife's presence.

"I couldn't care less about their moral compass. You should've hired someone who had a follow through." she hissed, glaring at him. "I'm sorry but I'm not the one who wanted Olivia L/N dead." he groaned, standing up and attempting to exit the door.

She stares at the side, the sight of a crucifix snapping her back into reality. "I don't like the role that you're giving me, Viserys." her voice cracked, her fingers dancing along every bead. Along every Hail Mary. Her breath hitched for a second.

Fearing the person that she's become.

He made her this way. He manipulated her, made her believe that the love that they shared was true. He made her fight for every scrap of his love. He made her a monster. Now, she was finally thirty, fifteen would never cross her mind. "You're the one who wanted to give your children part of Aemma's company. I was following your wishes." he tried to flip the table at her.

Our children. She wanted to correct him.

It might've been her idea, but he didn't give her a choice. Her children would live in poverty without the money that Aemma provided. Alicent didn't have a job. She didn't even finish High School, and it was obvious that Viserys wasn't going to be around for long.

"Don't worry about Olivia. She doesn't have the guts to sue us. I hope that you learn to be content with what you've been provided. Not everything has to be handed on a silver spoon." Viserys remarked.

Aemond breathes. "They're fighting again." he spoke through the landline. Fighting was a normal occurrence in the Targaryen Household, it was always about the inheritance.

"Mom ought to accept that the old man isn't gonna leave us a single dime." Aegon chuckled. His older brother long accepted the fact that Viserys hated all his children from his second-marriage.

"- Rhaenyra has always been the golden child. I don't know why we bother." he added with an eye-roll.

Aemond pressed his lips closer to the microphone. "Dad hired someone to kill Aunt Olivia." he dropped the bomb, and the other line answered with silence. "- Mom figured that if Aunt Olivia died, then all the shares would go to Dad, and there'll be enough for us." he whispered, careful not to be heard.

"He'd rather have someone murdered than give us a tiny piece of Rhaenyra's billion dollar inheritance? I study in New York. I should kill Aunt Olive, make Mom proud for once." his lips pressed into a thin line, seriously considering that random thought.

The younger brother responds with a chuckle.

"You won't do that Aegon. You're not actually a murderer." he laughed, thinking that it was his older brother's way of making a joke. Aegon licks his lips. Right, not a murderer.

OLIVIA L/N FOUND DEAD IN AN NYC APARTMENT WITH NO CURRENT SUSPECTS, POLICE SOURCES SAY.

NEW YORK -- Police sources are revealing more details about a murder in Manhattan. They say that the New York City Police Department is currently conducting investigations about possible motives for the crime.

It happened in Upper Manhattan, sources say that the first person that found the body was Ms. Olivia L/N's daughter, then a neighbor that chooses to remain anonymous.

Olivia L/N is the co-founder of Dragonpine Brewery, which has now expanded into different industries including real estate, technology, and pharmaceuticals. She currently owns 49% of Dragonpine Brewery, but all shares are expected to return to Viserys Targaryen, who too, owns 49% of the company.

The medical examiner ruled her death a homicide due to the blunt force trauma to the head, and stab wounds on her stomach.

Anyone with any information is asked to call the NYPD's Crime Stoppers hotline at 1-***-***-TIPS. ALL CALLS ARE KEPT CONFIDENTIAL.

(PRESENT)

Daemon couldn't stop pacing and forth. Luckily, the bullet didn't hit anything important. You could still use your ankle normally in the future, but it would take time to heal.

"It's a medical miracle. It's the first time I've seen it happen." he remarks, trying to calm himself down.

The entire thing was difficult to process. He found it hard to believe that Aemond suddenly lost all semblance of normalcy and broke. "The gun wasn't registered. He could face charges, unless Alicent drives by with her golden chariot and bribes the judge again." he rolled his eyes, unwilling to let his nephew live scot-free.

"I told her about Aemond's past, the case with the girl and Nick. She could've confronted him about it, brought memories that he couldn't handle. He could've been guilty." Rhaenyra suggested, shaking her head. "Where is he?" Daemon's eyes narrowed.

He peeked through the halls, searching for his nephew's familiar silver-gold locks. "Down at the police station. Jace tells me that Aemond's shaken. Unable to form any statement." she adds with a deep breath. Aware that the story was reaching its climax.

"Alicent won't let him speak anyways. Where's Helaena?" he paused, reminded of his youngest niece. "She's babysitting the kids. Daemon, role-calling everyone won't be enough to distract you from Y/N. She's a wall away, I can hear her heart monitor from here." she pointed out.

Clearly as nervous as he was.

"I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe that we're given a second chance at everything, but we're still making the same mistakes." he sat down on the bench beside her.

He wanted to be a better person. Make his life worthwhile, but with the people around him repeating the same mistakes over and over. "I feel like I'm trapped inside a paradox. We'll die, then we'll get reborn and repeat everything again. It's like that show we watched. Are we in the Bad Place?" his eyebrows merged together.

"I don't know, Daemon. It feels like hell, but then I see my sons and I wouldn't trade this life for anything else." she had a bitter smile on her face. A nurse steps out of your room.

Daemon rises to his feet.

"Is she awake?" he inquired.

"No. I don't think that I'm at liberty to say this but - being unconscious for this long isn't normal. They'll do some tests, but I'm sure she'll be fine." the nurse felt inclined to speak out, seeing Daemon's worried face.

"Are you her boyfriend?" the nurse asked.

Rhaenyra's face softened. "It's complicated." she bit her lower lip.

(HARRENHAL.)

TW: NON CON SCENE (WILL STATE WHEN IT'S OVER SO YOU CAN SCROLL DOWN TO IT)

You breathe in the smell of smoke. Harrenhal was a curse.

"You will die here." you whispered, the prophetic visions finally finding solace inside of you, like they've found solace in Alys.

"You dampen the mood." Aemond pours himself a goblet of wine. "- it will not stop me from having my way." he reminded.

"I know." you whispered.

"We won't be needing this," he stated, cutting swiftly through your gown. He was staring at your body with the intensity of a thousand stars - you could've sworn that it was love - but it was not. "Why are you doing this?" you whisper, covering your breasts.

He does not acknowledge the use of your tongue. He ignores you. He presses a kiss to your jaw, inhaling the scent of your jasmine perfume. A prisoner has never lived more lavishly than you. "Riñītsos," he answered, hands trailing down to pull yours away.

"You sleep beside my sister knowing such stain is upon your honor." you gritted your teeth.

"Stomach up." he commanded - eyes twinkling with lust. "Legs open," he added - seeing you in the vulnerable position.

You couldn't remember anything that happened afterwards.

(NON-CON SCENE OVER)

"I care not about what he's done to your husband. I care more about what you had to go through." Alys looked at you in a crestfallen way. She vowed to protect you, but her visions clouded her judgement. Made her believe that Aemond was their savior.

"It'll be the same tomorrow, Alys, unless you can remedy this curse then rid yourself. Leave my presence." you pleaded, unable to stare into her eyes. The same eyes that you looked at in the mirror. "You may think me cold, that all I've ever grown to love is him. I thought that I could control him, but he is like the wind." she shook her head.

"You cannot catch the wind, sister." your breath quivered.

"What I've done is payment for my sins," she started.

You snap out of the trance. Eyes finally meeting hers.

"What did you do?" you asked.

"I killed him." Alys admitted, only then did you realize the streak of blood of her cheek. "I'm sorry." she apologized, falling to the floor.

"I forgive you." you bite the insides of your cheeks.

You've watched your sister hold the enemy softer than she's ever held you. You watch her let peace slip through her fingers. You watch her betray you and you forgive her, because this is the role she must play. You cannot resent the dancer for the actions of the song.

"There will be a boat going to an island near the Ghiscari Empire. I hope that you find peace there." she handed you three dragons. "What about you?" you tilted her head, feeling the tears trickle down your cheeks. "I must stay." she reminded.

It was the last winter that you'd spend with this body. You lived sixty more years without your husband. Now, you were old and frail - there were lines on the sides of your eyes. Wrinkles that weren't there when your husband was still alive.

"Have some tea." Serenei's daughter beckoned.

You complied.

Feeling every bit of your consciousness slip away.

You had a vision the night before, that this would be your last life. You already broke the karmic chains and learnt all your lessons. There was no need to restart the pain and suffering.

But you sharply argued with the gods.

Told them that you had to be reborn. You needed to see Daemon. You needed a life where you could be with him longer, and happier.

The gods granted you that gift.

And thus, here you are again.

Your throat felt dry; like you haven't drank water in a thousand years. You hear the machine beeping beside you. A feeling of someone's hand on top of yours.

You opened your eyes.

"Daemon," you whispered.

"I remember."

next chapter>>

OK THIS LINE

You've watched your sister hold the enemy softer than she's ever held you. You watch her let peace slip through her fingers. You watch her betray you and you forgive her, because this is the role she must play. You cannot resent the dancer for the actions of the song.

WAS COPIED FROM @faiIwife on twitter. IT MADE MY LIFE IM SORRY.

[zaebeecee]

Helluva Boss Full Moon Episode Analysis 🌕 ✨

My very long and detailed personal analysis of the scene we were all waiting for below the cut. Spoilers, obviously, so don’t click if you don’t wanna see that. Also, this is just my own opinion, it’s cool if you don’t agree.

Also, I took all these screenshots on my phone because it’s all I have, so I apologize for the constant presence of the “hey you wanna change apps now or something” bar at the bottom of the screen.

tl;dr: Both Stolas and Blitzø are at fault here, and that’s the point of the episode.

So, I’m gonna start right after Stolas requests his book back and informs Blitzø that he needs it permanently.

Blitzø argues that he needs the book for his job. And that’s true, Moxxie already spelled that out earlier in the episode. But we have seen Blitzø trying to persuade Stolas before, and this is not how he does it. Whenever he persuades Stolas for something that is based in purely selfish reasons, he leans on his sexuality and on Stolas’ desire, not on straight up begging. All day, he has been plagued by Loona’s words that Stolas has been getting bored of him, and the fact that the first thing Stolas does is request his grimoire back is proof that she was right.

But Blitzø, being Blitzø, can’t just say that he’s scared Stolas has gotten bored of him, so he goes back to the thing Stolas already knows: he needs the book for his job.

Stolas, of course, was anticipating this. That’s why he has the Asmodean crystal prepared and within reach to give to Blitzø in exchange, probably to assuage his fears about the future of his company. He genuinely cares about Blitzø’s passions, and because of that, he is genuinely invested in his work and wants to do whatever he can to help him. Additionally, not only will the crystal end the transactional nature of their relationship, it will free Blitzø—and his employees—of the burden of being held accountable for law breaking.

Blitzø, on the other hand, wasn’t expecting anything like this. He has known from day one that if Stolas ever takes his book back, that���s the end of I.M.P. For Stolas to then turn around and tell him that he got a crystal for him (and advocated to Asmodeus on Blitzø’s behalf, no less) is something he probably never imagined would happen, much less anticipated.

For Stolas, a member of demonic royalty and of a privileged class of demon, this isn’t that big of a gesture. It’s big, of course—Stolas isn’t stupid, he knows how difficult it is for a non-Lust demon to acquire one of these crystals and is aware that his connections are the reason he was able to do this at all—but to him, it’s something of a no-brainer.

Stolas could not imagine a reality where he denied Blitzø anything, at least not right now. So, in his desire to end the transaction, it’s only natural to him that he would find another way for Blitzø to do his job, one where he doesn’t have to rely on anyone but himself. And in a rational situation, Stolas would be entirely right.

But this isn’t a rational situation. Blitzø doesn’t hear that he’s not beholden to anyone anymore, what he hears is that his excuse to see Stolas and pretend that it isn’t emotional has been taken away from him. That’s why he says they can just keep doing things the old way: he’s so emotionally constipated that if he loses the book, he either has to confront his feelings for Stolas or never see him again. And it might not matter anyway, because if Blitzø believes that Stolas only wants sex and has grown bored of him, this is simply a very expensive way to say “I don’t need you anymore”.

I think Stolas placing the stone on Blitzø’s bracer is a very important detail for the way things go in both of their minds, and it is very different:

For Stolas, he has proven to Blitzø that he is serious in his offer, and that this crystal belongs to him. He knows Blitzø is suspicious and untrusting, and by fastening it to him in a way that means Stolas himself cannot take it back, it shows Blitzø that Stolas truly means what he’s saying. It’s a display of selfless sincerity, and of trust, because if Blitzø took off that moment, there would be nothing Stolas could really do about it.

However, for Blitzø, Stolas has just taken away his autonomy and made the decision for him. Before he even had a chance to parse his thoughts on what’s happening, Stolas places the crystal on him, even though the only answer he has given is a fairly explicit “but I don’t want this”.

When Stolas tells Blitzø that he doesn’t have to stay, but that Stolas wants him to, he is showing an emotionally vulnerable side of himself that he only ever lets Octavia see. He is bearing his soul to Blitzø, because he wants to make it perfectly clear what he wants. And it’s so very important to emphasize that Stolas is very clear and direct in what he wants, because he doesn’t want to accidentally give Blitzø the wrong impression. He’s put a lot of thought into this, primarily because he’s been obsessing over what he was going to say ever since he went to ask Asmodeus for the crystal in the first place.

However, it’s also important to remember that Stolas is the one who prepared himself for this conversation. Of course he has a beautiful speech prepared and has reasoned out his arguments and knows exactly what he plans to do.

Blitzø is not prepared for this, however. Blitzø, who has convinced himself that a prince could never actually want an imp (especially one like him), who has spent all day telling himself that he isn’t feeling emotional over this and running all over town to acquire as much as possible because he’s afraid Stolas is getting bored, is completely blindsided by the sudden deluge of real emotion that’s pouring out of Stolas. Blitzø is already exceedingly bad with words, and because of his self-hate, he leans on the idea that it’s a kinky roleplay because that’s so much easier for him to believe.

Stolas, of course, has no reason to know any of this. To his eye, he just presented his heart to Blitzø on a platter, and Blitzø immediately turned flippant and dismissive, an obvious rejection of what he just metaphorically gutted himself over. To him, Blitzø has just affirmed that he doesn’t take this seriously, isn’t anywhere near as invested in it as Stolas is himself, and doesn’t actually want him.

To Stolas, this is the end of the conversation. He ended the transaction, he asked Blitzø for a real relationship, and Blitzø said no. With nothing else to discuss, Stolas leaves the room, probably assuming Blitzø will leave the way he came in. I would imagine that, after living with Stella for so long, the best way to deal with an awkward situation has always been to remove himself from that situation entirely. For him, this is a kindness, because otherwise the room is about to get very uncomfortable.

To Blitzø, this is a dismissal that Stolas would give to a servant or someone else he deems as lesser. He even asks if Stolas was serious in a disbelieving manner, because the idea of everything Stolas said being genuine is too alien for him. When he runs after Stolas, he clearly still doesn’t even know what he’s going to say, because things are moving too fast for him to process.

Stolas is, in my opinion, completely justified in his feelings. He’s hurt, because he’s cared so much for Blitzø for so long, and he tells him as much because Stolas is still trying to be fully upfront and honest. He believes he received Blitzø’s answer, as well as confirmation that everything has always been about sex.

I think it’s this, in particular, that sets Blitzø off. The transactional relationship was Stolas’s idea. Stolas spent every moment they were together, especially early S1, doing nothing but hitting on Blitzø. He even tells Stolas, in his mind, that he knows he only wants sex after the disaster at Ozzie’s, which was also the last time they talked in person. Blitzø is hearing his own words being used against him, realizing how much it hurts, and lashing out because anger is how he responds to strong emotion. (This is a bad thing, by the way. I’m not condoning it, just making an observation.)

Because he’s lashing out, Blitzø proceeds to verbally dump on Stolas, but he says something very important: he tells Stolas he needs a minute to think.

Blitzø was, again, blindsided by this conversation. He was then put on the spot and made to give an answer immediately, and when he wasn’t able to provide an in-depth, soul-searching, thoroughly considered answer off the cuff, he lost any opportunity to even attempt to recover the situation. And in my opinion, this is the most unfair thing Stolas does this entire scene. He seems to have completely forgotten that Blitzø isn’t prepared, and expects him to be as ready for this as he is himself.

When Blitzø tears into Stolas about his station, and about how the rich treat people like him, it’s clearly something he’s been wanting to say for quite some time. But he’s emotional, he’s not thinking straight, and he says things far harsher than he means to (which I’ll expound on in a moment). One of Blitzø’s flaws is saying things without thinking them through, and it definitely fucks him over right here.

Blitzø has no way of knowing that what he just said to Stolas is almost identical to what Striker said when he kidnapped and almost killed Stolas. But it is: both of them directly state that Stolas uses people beneath him because he can. Just like Blitzø didn’t hear Stolas’s sincerity, Stolas isn’t hearing Blitzø’s turmoil. Instead, he hears that the man he loves has the same opinion of him as someone who tried to kill him multiple times. That has to be a heartbreaking feeling, especially since Stolas seems to have been actively working to not be like his fellow royals, and it hurts him that Blitzø doesn’t see that.

Blitzø doesn’t just feel bad when he sees Stolas crying. When he hears Stolas’s words, he realizes what it was that he just said and that he didn’t mean it. He even tries to apologize; when he reaches out, he’s halfway through “I’m sorry” once he realizes he’s been teleported outside. And Blitzø never apologizes, not so directly, which means he knows that he hurt Stolas and he knows that Stolas didn’t deserve it.

I also think so much of his frustration stems from the fact that he wasn’t given an opportunity to explain himself. It was explaining that started healing his relationship with Fizzarolli, after all, and not having the same chance here was clearly fucking him up.

Here’s my takeaway from this episode: this argument needed to happen if their relationship was going to evolve in a healthy way. Both of them had put too much baggage into what they currently had, and the only way to fix that was to dump it out on the proverbial table the way they did. And, because they needed to dump their baggage, it makes sense that it ended with both of them wounded.

Both of them need time to work things out, be alone with their thoughts, and try to get over their own bullshit.

Blitzø needs to learn how to let himself open up to emotion, even just a little bit, and how to express himself without sarcasm, anger, or tears.

Stolas needs to learn how to actually listen to others (which we know is a problem from the time he took Via to Loo Loo Land after being told point blank she didn’t want to go).

Both of them did things wrong. And both of them did things right: Stolas was so honest and straightforward, and Blitzø immediately realized a place he had fucked up and tried to fix it immediately. And I think this argument needed to be both of their fault, ultimately, because something on this scale would be almost impossible to come back from otherwise.

Painful, but necessary. And it’ll just mean their making up will be that much more satisfying.

[phantoms-autistic-hands]

HERE'S THE OUTLINE ABOUT THIS BRAINWORM

i haven't rly thought of a name for my OC so i'm just gonna use the placeholder name jean for now [after Jean Vic. don't @ me on this]. he might not even end up french tho we'll see…… anyway he was a sailor (don't ask me for further details, it's blurry. it's Real blurry) and he just got back from a voyage but he was discharged from the navy.

what happened during the voyage was he got into a relationship with a higher ranking officer and they were close but was pursuing their relationship knowing that when they get to land they won't be able to continue it (not if the officer wanted to stay in his social circles) buuut it was kind of an open secret on the ship. then there was an Accident, in which the higher ranking officer died (yes i'm going down the dead lover cliche pathway--shhh it's for the plot later). so when the higher ups were looking into the death, they found out about their relationship, which is why the discharge from the navy [[listen. i think at this point france has decriminalized homosexuality but i have no clue what it's like in the navy. so i'm assuming it's the don't ask don't tell thing. so don't @ me on this. or do, i would Love to know if anyone knows]]

so heartbroken and out of a job jean found a job vacancy of being a stagehand at the opera house. his job would be way down below the stage or way up above stage, and the job requirements reminds him of finding his way on a ship, so he's doing just fine with this. he does his job well enough, keeps his head down, tries to be friendly when he can.

after a while of doing bits and pieces here and there and he's established himself, the new chief stagehand gives him the main job of maintaining the area on the mezzanine floor where joseph buquet was killed (i'm smooshing leroux canon and alw canon together here btw. canon is toy blocks for me to pick and choose) since a lot of stagehands avoid that place like a plague. it's not out of malice, it's just that they all realize that jean doesn't rly believe in superstitions or ghosts so they're all like why not? he's knows about the stories but since he doesn't believe in ghosts (and thinks that anything about phantom as an actual dude is an exaggeration of events to attract patrons) he's like eh, alright.

all this happens while jean suspects that he's definitely traumatized by the events that happened during his voyage, obviously. he knows of stories of what happens to people who's traumatized enough. at this point in time he's given in to talking out loud to his dead lover when he's alone, so this is how one day erik heard him through that trapdoor into his home (/torture chamber). when erik tries to scare him off by speaking to him in a disembodied voice, jean Naturally thought that his trauma has given him auditory hallucinations. he at first breaks down about this because he thought he was doing better mentally, but this is a sure sign he isn't doing that great actually.

erik, absolutely confused about this reaction, decides to show himself physically after some time, just to prove to jean that he's not Actually having auditory hallucinations. but jean first mistook him for a lost patron, and is like sir u can't be here without supervision?? and jean's worried he'd lose his job if someone catches a patron wandering down here with only jean watching him bc he sure as hell ain't qualified to give patrons a tour below stage. but erik would mysteriously disappear any time anyone comes close to them. cue a whole bunch of meetings like this bc erik's lonely and this man new to the opera thinks he's a patron and treats him like a normal man and he's been starved of company ever since christine left and the mob hunted him done and he stopped bothering the opera

so they get closer. jean's half worried that erik's a hallucination, since he disappears a lot and is never seen by anybody else but jean, but he seems so real……

they get to a point where erik tells jean of christine and they bond over having lost someone they loved. erik speaks longingly of his dreams of being married and having a wife to go on sunday walks with

at this time jean is a little (a Lot) in love with him and gets his heart shattered into pieces bc god damn it he wants a wife Of Course he'd want a Wife...........

and then somehow erik finds out that jean is in love with Someone and he asks about it (somehow feeling something like Rage and Something Else because jean? in love? WHO WOULD CAPTURE THIS MAN'S ATTENTION? WHO DARES? WHO DESERVES IT?) and jean is like its of no matter (because he thinks erik wouldn't reciprocate. he's not the exactly right gender)

then jean spends a long time thinking it over and realizes that even if erik doesn't return his feelings, erik seems like someone who would benefit from being told that in this world Someone does loves him, even if he [erik] doesn't love jean back. so he tells him and it takes a while to convince erik of it but then erik remembers that jean said his love for erik is "no matter" and goes batshit about it bc does this mean he doesn't matter to jean????

and jean tells erik that it does matter. it matters to him a lot. erik matters to him a lot. but he can't give erik what he wants, their relationship would not exactly be an open one. it would be some secret thing, at the very least half hidden from society. he won't impose that on erik when he knows erik wants his little walks in the park with his lover........ erik's showing the 404 error code.

anyways idk how it goes from here but they'll get together. i swear

[ooooshetriesss]

Announcement/Update Cat parents of MALE CATS SPECIFICALLY! If their under 8 &/or u’ve yet to learn about ‘the possibility of obstruction (something that CAN & WILL happen to certain genetically predisposed cats; swap them to wet food for their safety & PLEASE READ)

Hey guys💔 Todays rope had to be canceled. I had to rush one of my boys to ER. It was pretty serious, pretty scary & after 2 days I was finally able to bring him home but, I’m gonna have to keep an eye on him.Because of his size & the meds he needed; they hit him heavy so, he needs help going to the bathroom & using the water bowl.

Thank you to everyone whose reached out via IG as this was going down; if I didn’t get back to you, my apologies; it’s been a bit hectic but Im sincerely grateful for everyone’s concern.

IF U HAVE MALE CATS; SWAP THEM TO WET FOOD FOR THEIR SAFETY if u wanna spare a 1k vet bill,

(I was so shocked to hear both the vet & a lot of my fellow cat owners say “yeah it’s common, most ppl just don’t find out their cats intolerant till the worst happens; & because cats mask so well; at that point, it can truly be serious…)

I know Miami is densely populated but not everyone is 10 mins away from a vet. Also times are tough; I cannot stomach the idea of someone losing their cat cause they didn’t have 1000$ on standby (which who the fk has that these days)

I want to make this last part exceptionally clear..,

I am someone who has had a job since before I was legally allowed to obtain one… I’m one of millions of Americans who couldn’t afford college nor qualify for financial aid… I have worked to the BONE In everything from service industry, to blue collar, to maintenance(both in terms of house keeping & even assembling & maintenance of salt water aquariums..was even a groutsmith) like most Americans, I’ve never had insurance & lived paycheck to paycheck + have made just enough to get by since I was 15.

I didn’t have ‘luxurious purchases’ I had medical bills I couldn’t even afford a regular minimum payment on… I didn’t save for ‘exuberant trips’ … I saved to get a weeks worth of groceries…

I never bought a car..: but some days I spent just as much as I made just to get to work ..(& while the men were praised for riding their bikes & showing “that type of initiative…” I was berated for showing up to work “in such a condition” “It doesn’t matter u come in early /before we open to “fix urself up”

When YOU WALK IN THRU THAT DOOR, U WALK/TALK/COME IN LIKE UR ALREADY ON THE CLOCK… U SHOULD BE COMING IN EARLY ANYWAY (just for them to yell at u for actually coming in early)

The ONLY REASON, I (someone who would literally run into a burning building & d*e for their animals; for animals who weren’t even mine) someone who would miss meals so they could eat THE best food…someone who LOVES & is DEDICATED to their creatures, who would do ANYTHING for them, & MOST importantly..

Someone who was DUMB/NAIVE ENOUGH to be ‘the hardest worker in the room for souless companies/selfish ppl for 30+ yrs was ONLY CAPABLE of getting my baby THAT care NOT because of a “traditional (what yall call ‘honest days work’) IT WAS BECAUSE OF WHAT IS CONSIDERED SW. full fucking stop.

& because I had a women who had both a virtually non interest credit card AND my back♥️ (I’ve told u once, I’ll say it again; Grandmas a gangster)

I know SM likes to frame SW as an option for women who “don’t feel like working/ want expensive luxuries things & are looking for a free ride..”

What we’re lookin for is a career that allows us to still man the ship the way we need to, we’ve been expected to..

It allows us not just means for survival, but the capacity to do so WHILE we continue to be the caretakers of our family & (for some particularly exceptional women) the caretakers of our community…

I wanna make it SO clear this is NOT A DIG to ANYONE, ESPECIALLY the vet& staff that helped us & are appreciated SOOO DEEPLY. These are ppl who are overwhelmed, burnt out like the rest of us, expect unlike nurses, they usually aren’t given a 1/4 of the respect other medical professionals are. PLEASE be kind to them. (I know it’s difficult when emotions are high)

But while this was not my regular content, I know ALOT animal lovers on here… times are tough, there only gonnna get tougher… information is invaluable..

1 week before this happened; 1 woman made a video sharing how she JUST lost her MALE CAT (due to this)

Because of THAT video, I was aware this could even happen…

Because of a incredible vet & her team who TRUSTED me when I said “I will figure out the money, u have my WORD” my boy is safe & while expensive; they made it as affordable as possible…

And because of another woman who had my back w/a piece of plastic at the drop of a hat, I was able to bring him home.

And because of some incredible supporters & community like yall who like my content & share it, push it into the algo, find me on other platforms s & interact, even if they can’t financially contribute.. because of being lucky enough to be supported; I was able to make that happen for my boy. Every single variable is what came together to keep him here today & my heart… can’t even think of how to properly thank you all.

The community looked out for me.. & while this post may be all I have to give back ATM.. it’s what I got..

MALE CATS=WET FOOD TO BE SAFE!!!

(Also, CONSTANT FRESH WATER SOURCE BOTH BY & away from their food ; by their food so they have some to access while eating & some away so it stays fresh & can help them pass more easily.)

Love u guys xoxoxo.

We’ll be resuming to our regular scheduled content next week lol

Till then, xoxoox - hummingbird + ‘Fil’ @ooooshetriesss

[declanscunt]

do you have any headcanons about kenstewy post-finale?

BOY DO I‼️‼️‼️ THANK U FOR ASKING STRAP IN

okay. in alignment with the shows values and characterization (as in, if we continued observing these characters post gojo sale), i think stewy would fully ignore kendall until he called. he might text him a couple times to make sure he was alive or whatever but he’s gonna be partying and living his best life. also, to stewy this is the best outcome ever. he gets his money (i don’t know enough about business to know if he stays on as a shareholder but either way i think he doesn’t lose anything from this. except for a few years of his life thanks to roy shenanigans) and KENDALL GETS OUT. which is what he asked him to do way back in season 1. stewys so happy and content post-finale literally cat that got the cream. AND he didn’t alienate kendall bc he still voted with him. anyways, kendall’s gonna ghost (schrödinger’s suicide) and go off the rails! for sure!! because this is not something he can come back from, there’s no more pretend demons to fight—logan’s dead and the company’s out of family hands forever there isn’t anything he can do. but colin is not letting another roy die on his watch no way so unfortunately for kendall he’s gonna live. and eventually he will find his way back to stewy and stewy will offer him sex drugs whatever to fill his time and the logan shaped hole inside of him. the end.

alternatively. NOT in alignment with jesse armstrongs vision. kendall goes to stewys place immediately after the events of the finale and becomes his best boyfriend whose new purpose is to make stewy feel good forever and ever and ever. they go on vacation and make pancakes and waffles and kissssssss. kendall and stewy sitting in a tree. k i s s i n g.

my personal headcanons include: they get caught out by paparazzi who have lots of fun speculating about them until they literally just start making out alll over the place which ppl r into for a very short period of time before they get annoyed. and then mostly nobody cares anymore except a subsection of insane gay people who wanna see old men yaoi as they should. i think kendall starts up a flop rap career which stewy wholeheartedly supports and indulges, and then he starts a record label and signs a billion flop acts but somehow lucks out with one really talented musician who manages to boost kendall’s reputation even though his job at the label is literally Do Not Do Anything Or Say Anything Or Touch Anything just let the professionals work Please. eventually a producer convinces him to record and release L to the OG which blows up. kendall records an album that’s mostly covers with some originals (that are actually kind of good) and goes on tour. the tour flops because he runs out of steam halfway through and becomes manic again but we can’t have it all. stewy is there the whole time enabling him of course.

also i wanna believe kendall would patch things up with his kids and they all hang out with him and stewy. my pipe dream headcanon is that sophie and iverson somehow become radicalized and vow to give away all their generational wealth and become nepo baby activists or whatever. all the roy children turn out to be gay. etc. this got away from me it was meant to be kenstewy whoops

[jaimeshonorhardon]

ned/jaime fic concept

modern au jaime post figuring out his trauma works at an animal shelter for dogs

Single dad Ned finds a bunch of “puppies” by the road and is like idk what kind these are and takes them to get checked and vetted up before taking them home and he goes to jaimes shelter and like he doesn’t expect him there and Jaime leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth but like his kids will love these puppies and is like hey can u tell me what these are and give them their shots so I can go and jaimes just like u dumb sexy idiot I have bad history with these are WOLVES how did you find theses?????? U were gonna give them to children ?????? Jaime instantly needing to have sex with this fucking idiot. Post cersei he hasn’t been with anyone in years due to insecurities/major blows to his confidence (cersei trauma and no hand trauma) and the lack of practice in genuine flirting besides a little thing he had with his bestie (brienne) but they were both going thru some shit and are just family now but he literally hasn’t been interested in anyone either (demisexual jaime rights) so he literally is just stumbling and blushing and then just blatantly flirting but ned thinks that’s just how he’s always been but maybe a little more nervous than usual so doesn’t really get it

But also later for jaime truly falling for him it’s because ned is just such a good dad (obviously ruggedly hot but that’s besides the point) with a heart of gold like he’s a single dad of fucking 6 plus Theon so 7 and is super busy with his company but makes time for all of those fucking kids and all of their activities and for ned—ned is just like wow Jaime is really good with these dogs they really like him animals know best plus he’s very very good at his job just something about an efficient man that animals like he seems changed and a good person now plus he’s gorgeous and my kids don’t mind him I’ll let myself love him :)

but Jaime at first is just purely horny for ned (that’s just what he tells himself) and then eventually is like oh no��..I am in love with this old caring father while said father at first had no idea what was going on but after they fuck he immediately and silently in his head decides he’s romantically seeing where things go and falls in love gradually and naturally compared to jaimes bomb of a realization one day as he has no practice in this besides having always been “in love” (imagine post trauma Jaime also air quoting) with cersei and ned was fully married and in love before

FUCK and of course Jaime has to go over periodically to check on the wolves growth and behavior cuz like that’s what ALL vets do right …right??!!?? He tells himself yes of course 😅 I’m not being too secretly crazy in love I’m just being helpful! He won’t catch on! Ned goes from oblivous to begrudgingly accepting into making it apart of his life and something to look forward to with Jaime in their initial stages of romance while jaime is just internally screaming that he hopes ned doesn’t catch onto his feelings and how much he needs ned in his life and cares and if he rejects him cuz cersei never gave a single shit about any of his true feelings and he cannot handle losing the best man he’s ever met even as a kind of friend he’s fucking and helping taking care of his wolves and kids (jaime is their second dad at this point he’s the only one who doesn’t know)

He also thinks ned doesn’t know what to do with all these dogs anyway he’s a busy man with 7 kids he needs help these poor wolves probably aren’t getting proper care and the children need rides to school which is on his way to work (jaime is the one not getting proper care and ned can tell the man is low key struggling on his own why not just add another one into the pack more the merrier)

And of course ned has a huge property and one of the pups gets lost late at night and he calls Jaime to help and they get snowed in at some cabin at the end of the property where the little pup took shelter (probs ghost bc he’s harder to find and quiet so it would take until nightfall) and ya know ~things~ happen between the two men

I need those two mfs to be locked in a cabin so bad idk …

[malboraslihan]

hello friends <3 it's been a while since i posted a plotting call / interest post so i finally sat down today and wrote (more like assembled) plots / threads ideas i've been wanting to do. if you're interested in any of those LIKE THIS POST and i'll send you a message. just an important observation: we don't need to actually plot out most of these (some require working out details but that's it), if you want to write that plot with me just tell me which one and which muse you're interested and i'll write you a starter! so yeah basically, if you like any of those: * like the post * tell me which plot and which muse you want me to use (or which muse you think would work from your end so i can figure out who to use!) * i'll write you that starter

some need to knows... ig?

please do not worry about "making it fair" or anything like that, most of these plots are for my males and they're actual muses i want to develop so don't feel pressured to only choose one or all that.

on that same note, do not ask for a plot with one my girls just because you want one from my men. i honestly prepfer you pick plots you actually want to do instead of doubling threads and shit like that.

i'm open to plotting! but if we're gonna do it, i'd prefer we do it on discord cause the tumblr ims are always glitching to me and i keep losing tracks of things. so, if you wanna talk about things AND I'D LOVE TO, just lmk and i'll message you / give you my discord as well. (also, if we rp on discord and you wanna write some of these there, i'm obvs open<3)

these plots do not all need to be f/m ! i'm very open to make most of them f/f and while i'm a little more selective with who i write m/m plots, i'm willing to work things out if you have an idea :)

the bianchi reign

you're dating the mob boss / you're his sister / daughter and i'm his second in command but i can't stay away from you and you quickly realize it and we're flirting but if anyone finds out i'm dead

i'm infiltrating your gang to try and destroy it but we started sleeping together and it turns out there's feelings now but i just got an order to murder / kidnap you so now what

we were never close, i always thought you were annoying and now you fucked up big time on a mission and my father who's your boss wants to kill you but i marry you to stop him (insp)

i faked my own death to protect you/stop people from killing me/save our people and now three years later i send you a text asking you to meet me and at first you think it's a joke but then you come anyway and hi i'm alive (for noah!!!)

“we got framed for a crime we didn’t commit so now we’re on the run and having to kill and steal to survive and avoid arrest and now we really are dangerous criminals” au (maybe the crime was actually a fuck up inside the gang so now they're wanted <3) (for lorenzo or hazel)

the hawthorne family

you're dating my brother but he's constantly leaving you alone during events or even family trips to kiss my dad's ass and try to maintain his job so i keep you company until we're both drunk one night and i let it slip that i would love to kiss you

a plot where he’s a little too old for her but she doesn’t care. he thinks she’s immature and too reckless with her behavior. but she’s hellbent on proving him otherwise. so she applies for the position of his new personal assistant and he can’t help but appreciate her determination. of course he hires her but he does nothing short of giving her a hard time because this is her first job and she has no idea what she’s doing. but crap he finds her crying in the bathroom and his first instinct is to hold her and comfort her. he can’t believe he’s the cause of this and wises up fast. also maybe it has to do with his now urge to protect her. (for arthur)

not another rockstar by maisie peters.. just that toxic good old fangirl x stupid rockstar dynamic (for jean/hunter)

“you read one of my thirst tweets on a talk show and now my thirst is a minor internet sensation, so thanks for that” au (for hunter, jean)

‘we had a one night stand a couple of weekends ago and i really didn’t think i’d ever see you again but wow, now i’m sitting in your office interviewing for a job but all i can think about is the incredible s3x we had’ (for adam or arthur)

rich kids

a poly relationship, could someone who is just as rich as them or someone who isn't and they're spoiling the fuck out of them... someone who worked for one of them before or a friend idk (mostly for gigi, hunter and sara) (insp)

since i’m on a sugar baby phase imagine a plot where a college student is absolutely pampered by annoymous guy. all he asks in return is to be remained mysterious, occasion nudes, and all the attention he craves. she’s all too willing to give it for the pretty penny he’s offering. but her birthday comes around and he surprises her with a trip to see her favorite singer / actor with vip access / meet & oh hold a second, how does he know my name ? (for jean or hunter / hae park (nicha yontararak fc) / angel)

someone give me a thread where this rich dude falls for the normal down to earth girl nd introduces her to his world full of private jets nd yachts nd all that stuff and yES PLEASE

acotar/royal

we're fighting in different sides of a war and when we meet during a negotiation we find out we're mated

stuck in a mission together and we've always hated each other but then it's freezing cold and we have only one bed in this shitty cabin we're staying for the night so we should cuddle

you are supposed to get married to make peace between our countries/courts but we hate each other and we're constantly bickering and fighting and i think you might have actually tried to kill me once or twice (insp)

harbor springs

a plot based on ‘tis the damn season…. small town, childhood friends, one stayed put and the other moved away for college… now comes back for the holidays ten years later… pls

based on stick season by noah kahan: we were best friend since day one, dated during high school and broke up because you left for college / pursue your dreams and i stayed behind but one day i get a notification from you that you liked a photo or you shared a by pic and i liked and we just go back to talking and we're getting close again until you invite me to spend summer with you wherever you are and i actually been saving up money to leave town so i go and when i see you again i know i'm definitely still in love with you (for videl, keegan, ivy, patrick, angel, rani)

sports themed

(the nationals + tobias + gregory)

based on the trade by ki stephens: the hockey team has a tradition of trading dates during the end of season dinner and i invite you and make my best friend invite your roommate cause i wanna get with her but we actually start getting close and i fall in love with you but at the night of the dinner one of the guy spills everything (for benny or gael)

based on the deal by elle kennedy: i'll pretend i'm your boyfriend if you agree to tutor me and of course we fall in love (for benny, keegan or dane)

based on icebreaker by hannah grace: you hate hockey players and you say that to my face after i make a move on you so now i have to prove you wrong (bonus points if she's a figure skater and he has to help her after her partner bails or smt) (bonus points if they share the same rink so they're always bickering about late practices and shit) (for benny, keegan or gael)

he left his hometown to play professional and ended up breaking up with high school sweetheart because the distance and the busy schedule was just too much but a few years later he's won the superbowl and he's miserable and he meets her at some random party in his new town and wait she's engaged to someone else (for tobias, greg, benny, keegan)

plot where muse a is a star athlete on a professional team, and they go to a bar/pub after a great victory, where they meet muse b - a very attractive, bitter stranger wearing a fan jersey from the rival team.

 a frat boy who’s like every normal frat boy. he drinks too much, he parties, and he sleeps with random girls but everything changes when he’s around the girl from back home. the girl that really matters to him. he doesn’t want to admit that he likes her a lot but, that’s what it comes down to when one of the guys in his frat house wants to hook up with her and she’s perfectly willing. (for benny or keegan)

horror plots

some spooky muses i made <3

muse a and muse b get stranded on a roadtrip and are offered a place to stay by a friendly looking local, only to find out they’re a serial killer looking to make them their next two victims. ( + bonus points if they’re exes who literally just broke up minutes before their car broke down??? the drama )

based on x, we're renting a farm house to film a college project / independent horror film / porn and one of our friends disappears on the first day and then our car disappears and now we don't know what to do cause there's no one around and the nearest stop was a forty minutes car drive away

i made you join a cult with me (recruited you / joined with you / made you join whatever) but now shit is happening and you're miserable and i can't bear to see you like this cause i actually grew too fond of you so i don't know what to do but i keep protecting you a little too much and people are going to realize at some point (for ubon or milo)

misc

popular girl x her best friend.. bonus points if the popular girl has a boyfriend or is constantly hooking up with different people (for ivy, giovana, madeline, rani)

church girl + unholy bf (for rani) and the opposite church boy + unholy gf (for jacob, videl)

lacy by olivia rodrigo: you're dating my ex boyfriend but i'm actually obsessed with you and not really sorry that i lost him. (bonus points if they're in the same friend group) (for giovana, madeline, anastasia, grace, hazal, saja)

i really want a plot based two weeks ago by maisie peters.. the whole vibe of being in love with someone and have it finally happen before they need to get on a plane and go somewhere else? really want to explore the long distance relationship situation with all the jealousy and missed calls, timezones that don’t match (for literally anyone.. but some that i could see this working with are: jacob, videl, benny thompson, gigi, rani, ivy, pinar)

i'm pretty sure my husband/boyfriend is cheating on me so i go out to do the same but i can't just sleep with a random but then i meet you, my long time friend and we end up talking and laughing until i kiss you and we hook up but now i'm trying to work things out with my husband/boyfriend but i can't stop thinking about you (insp) (for anastasia, fatma, grace, nari / arthur, finnley, keegan, tobias)

“your ex hired me to make you fall in love with me then break your heart but oops i think i fell in love and now i’m conflicted what the fuck is happening i’m supposed to hurt you ow what am i sUPPOSED TO DO” (for gigi, gael, theo hughes (kaden h fc))

he fucked up big time but he never forgot about her and was constantly trying to fix their relationship until at some point he gives up and that's when she finally texts back / shows up at his door (for jacob, patrick, videl, arthur / hazal, verda) insp

a nice, shy, nerdy boy who literally no one pays attention to asks the popular, outgoing, ray of sunshine out and she was so confused and didn’t think he meant it at first but she agrees anyway because she doesn’t want him to feel bad because she sees that he really tried so hard to ask her out? and maybe it didn’t work out so well at first but he tries again anyway? it doesn’t work a few times because of her schedule but he’s really sweet so she agrees to another more because it wouldn’t hurt and by the end of the date he works up the courage to ask if he could kiss her and she reluctantly says okay - and completely underestimates him but holy shit that wasn’t a chaste kiss? and before she knows it her clothes are on the floor and he’s fucking her like a whore but she’s so intO IT? (for sebastian aka my luke hemmings fc muse)

accidentally swapped phones with someone at a party and don’t realize until their mom calls in the morning and you spend like three hours talking to this hilarious woman about life and when you go to her house to return her kid’s phone wow the kid is the really good kisser from the party last night au (for maddie, videl, benny, aurora, tobias)

we dated in high school, i wrote a book about you five years later and now you’re at a fan event asking for an autograph.. (for the writer: maddie / for the ex: benny, benny hawthorne, tobias, videl)

“i’ve lost my memory and idk who you are but i just have this feeling that i’m supposed to trust you” (for arthur, videl, jacob)

“i’m in love with you and i just watched you get proposed to by your boyfriend right before my eyes and now i’m upset”  (for jacob, patrick, keegan)

before trilogy inspired: we were the only ones waiting for a train but it was delayed for twelve hours / our next flight connection is not until tomorrow and we just decide to walk around the city and we end up kissing, i like you too much and i don't wanna lose this but it's time to go and we make a pact to come back here next month but we never actually do for different reasons and then 3/5/10 years later we meet again somewhere else.. (for ivy, rani, hunter or saja)

[lucassinclaer-archive]

i only need super minimal encouragement to talk about this soooooo ty @freetobeeyouandme lmao. been thinking about stranger things heist au again. and it got long into brainstorming territory so just... (waves hand vaguely) thoughts continue under the cut.

legacy families like the byers who never pulled high-end jobs, content in their little pond being small-time crooks incapable of understanding why jonathan, with all his flawless lifts and situational awareness, would try to reach above and start in on the big jobs.

joyce who met lonnie on a job and joyce and jonathan who protect will from lonnie's frustration when will turns out to be an awful thief who doesn't enjoy crime the littlest bit. (he does turn out to be quite the forger when the time comes, though.)

contrast with that the wheelers who are an all-american halfway happy law-abiding family whose eldest, nancy, walks eyes front into a life of crime to protect her friend and finds that it becomes inevitable, a sort of ceaseless need to keep going. who never wanted her little brother involved.

but apparently the wheeler siblings have some sort of crime beacon on them because of course nancy quite literally crashes into her brother trying to take down the same scumbag two towns over she is, although he looks at her like she's crazy when she lays out her plan and man, what her little brother has planned is actually pretty clever and much more subtle than the approach she was gonna take. they have ground rules, but she doesn't try to keep him from pulling jobs. she knows it'd be useless.

dustin is an incredibly bright kid with what may be a slight tendency to go overboard in the name of Science. he loves blowing stuff up every now and again, okay?! and also it's just criminal (heh) what some pharma companies do so he might be breaking into their headquarters and screwing with their formulas and contaminating their experiments until he figures out how to take them down permanently. sue him! (but please don't actually sue him, he hasn't found a great lawyer yet.)

lucas on the other hand was dragged into crime kicking and screaming. not something he ever wanted to do. (will will understand but then lucas kind of loses him when he did it anyway.) mike and dustin sort of kidnapped him into it, basically, when they were all still strangers, dustin and mike barely partners on this one con, and they'd needed a patsy who worked for the corporation they're stealing from. unfortunately they were still young and dumb enough to pick someone actually smart who trapped them in an office until they copped to their scheme at which point lucas demanded proof of their accusations which coincidentally was exactly what mike anf dustin were after. after that they can’t really seem to separate. he's turned into a jack of all trades, lucas sinclair - grifter, thief, hitter... even the occasional hacker. not the greatest at any, but good at all.

(we don't talk about erica who will one day give him a heart attack blowing up his whole carefully crafted alibi.)

steve, the getaway driver who hates his fucking job and is in it only bc there was p much nothing else to do until he finds people who show him there's a way to do it that brings him joy, when he knows what he's fighting for.

robin's a strange sort of grifter, not someone who immediately charms everyone in a room, but who knows how to make herself either invaluable or severely underestimated. she speaks like every language under the sun. like steve she has a certain aimlessness at first but unlike steve it's not due to having no ideas but more of a thing of having no options. until they're offered to her. then she's unstoppable.

max is out there somewhere being a thief different from jonathan, self-made and scared and on the west coast. but if they were to meet jonathan would recognize those gritted teeth and the hard work. it's not natural talent that made her so good at what she does but pure stubbornness.

el, on the other hand, is all raw talent and exploited for it for a long time when she's a kid. it's will who meets her first, who gives her an out, but when it lands him in trouble it's the other criminals who help her get him out. joyce, mike and jonathan develop an instantaneous protective streak for her. lucas isn't sold and dustin is mostly in love with her demolitions capabilities and nancy is hungry for the dirt she has on various government agencies.

[tinylilvalery]

It's interesting in the Succ podcast Matt says that Tom has been working tirelessly in regards to the election so he's exhausted as a result, and on top of that he's been trying to find angles for how to keep his job for the past few episodes. So the tiredness was genuine exhaustion as a result of doing all he can to keep his job. Matt also says that when Tom isn't actively scheming for his job, he's treading water. So Tom staying employed is this constant fight for his life, that's how it's described. And so he gets back with Shiv and it woulda felt like a relief. He's still working his ass off and he's not getting much sleep cos on top of all his work at Waystar he's back in a relationship with Shiv and isn't getting much sleep cos they're up having lots of sex. But there's the job security thing with Shiv, so therefore it's worth getting back into a shitty relationship.

But then it was the final straw when he found out Shiv was going around the party telling a whole lot of professionals he was gonna be fired. They're not even in a bad place when she's doing this. So all this fight for his job and now this? What's even the point of being with her? He'd have less trouble without her than with her. Getting back with her has actually proven detrimental to his career and he loses it cos he's just so exhausted by it all and she's still trying to ruin all that he has.

And she plays it off as a joke because it can be for her, she's a big player in a company that was her dad's only because she's a Nepo Baby. She doesn't understand how difficult it actually is to claw up the ladder. She can fall back on family business in a way Tom never could.

And so when he loses it at her for once there's no holding back, no diplomacy, no rolling over and letting her have the last say, because what's the point to that anymore? In the past he was submissive so he wouldn't get punished like how she's punishing him now, but she did it anyway despite them being in a good place, in a little honeymoon period. And now it's over.

Maybe Tom knows there's really nothing to gain from being with her: no corporate prestige, no safety, no warmth, no love, no commitment. And maybe now he knows for certain that the sad he'd be without Shiv is less than the sad he gets from being with her.

[dufferpuffer]

Thank you for the Snack reply

I liked your thoughts on all of it but especially the teen snack with Slytherin Sirius is something that really intrigued me.

I never read a fic where Slytherin Sirius is friends with Snape. Most times he is a loner and only regulus keeps him company, though I don't think this guy has in him to just be on his own. He is a dog so obviously he is gonna make friends....

And I mean he would maybe not run away if snape and him become friends because with James his views are skewed when it comes to dark magic. So maybe he can find a neutral ground with his family.

Thanks again....

Also wanted to mention how gr8 it is that you like canon lupin character without mollycoddling him. Salute to you for that. Because I myself fall in the category that I like to stay away from any fics where he is shown as a major character, irrespective if it is his canonic version or fanon version.

I am just totally irked with all the subtle ways he is being uplifted rather than keeping him an average character he is.

I mean lupin in hp world is a mirror image of average real human. We are mostly average in look, personality, income, luck etc. We are not prone to becoming vilian like Peter on the drop of hat, we are nit super loyal like Sirius, we are not extremely charismatic like James. Major people are average.

But fanon has made be totally turned off by this character.

Also I don't like him because I think I myself won't want to be in company of someone who is a pro gaslighter and manipulator. In these two situation he strays away from average human because general people are not so scared that they will do anything to protect themselves from smallest inconvenience.

Anyways, apologies that I went into my super unimportant rant.

This is not me bashing him.... This is me telling my reasons for disliking him and appreciating your ability to announce that yes you like him but you like him with flaws and all and not not the whitewashed version of him....

So kudos for being canon remus fanon....

You don't gotta like Remus, im not trying to change your mind or something I'm just gonna use this ask to blab about something I love about him B^) No need for apologies. I appreciate it and liked reading it :) I also don't like most fanon Remus'. He is either a soft little angel who is always nice and sweet - or he is... a tough, grumpy badass??? huh?? You are right in that he is more of a reflection of an 'average person', rather than having a more extreme personality trait. He is a normal guy... dealing with a chronic illness. A disability. A really fucking brutal one. + It is incurable + Children learn how to identify people with this disability - and how to kill them. + It's expensive (and near impossible) to treat - and the treatment mainly just makes it safer for other people rather than helping HIM not suffer. It sedates him - it doesn't help him feel better. + It is debilitating beyond the Full Moon. Days before the full moon he gets pale, sweaty, irritable... days after the full moon he is exhausted, torn up, healing... The rest of the month he has to deal with poverty and a lack of good meals or shelter. Even if he was allowed to have most jobs like normal Wizards, even if that were legal - he is sick. He struggles to do the work. Being trapped by that sickness, having to struggle, having the threat of everything being taken from you by other people who don't get it... The reality of managing your own body along with surviving homelessness and an utter lack of sympathy or support...

...It has made him not a very nice person sometimes. It has made him defensive, selfish, cowardly, paranoid, desperate, untrusting... And I love that. So, SO much. I LOVE HIM (Disability drabble below, sorta poorly thought out, I'm tired today)

It is rare to see characters with invisible disabilities, like severe mental illness - or fatigue and chronic pain. ...and every month loses his mind to 'the delusion of being a wolf.' Most stories cut off a characters limb and that's it. They get a 'better than flesh' replacement. Their disability becomes their best, strongest, coolest aspect. Why doesn't everyone cut their arm off...? But disabilities aren't cool. Us disabled people don't want to see someone like us that's 'all fixed' physically and mentally.

We want to see how being disabled has changed them. The struggles they go through to manage it. How they have learned to cope - and maybe even thrive.

On the flip side - characters with scars, disfigurements or disabilities are often villains. 'Ugly is evil', or 'I am different so now I am bad' Disabled characters aren't often allowed to just... have problems.

Either their disability isn't disabling or it defines their evil.

There are lots of mentally, invisibly or physically disabled people in Harry Potter - and the way they are portrayed is so... gritty and cool. One day I'll blab about how the series treats disability... One day.

I appreciate that Remus can be disabled and also flawed, toxic, struggling, misunderstood by everyone... but be good, too. He tries, so hard, and struggles to find people who can understand. It's a complex mix of his own problems and societies problems.

We see him tell children who love him that he is sick - and they have a flash of disgust, of mistrust, of cruelty. But he understands. Hes seen it so many times before. He is strong. He is forgiving. It has never killed his compassionate heart - nor his drive to nurture, to be helpful. But it HAS still hurt him. Broken him. It isn't 'okay'.

Remus is a lovely, soft man trapped within complex layers of different types of suffering - some of which he's done to himself, some were inflicted upon him... and some of which are unfixable. His story isn't one about getting better or being cured - it's about learning healthier ways to cope. Getting support. Unpicking the unhealthy coping strategies he has weaved for himself. That is interesting, deep, complex - and cathartic, as someone who has chronic health issues, too. My body attacks itself, too. The coping strategies I have learned aren't the same as Remus', but many of them aren't healthy. We are different... but it feels nice to see a character who goes through similar things - and not perfectly. Remus isn't trying to offer me answers to my problems, like 'just try harder' or 'get help'. Remus understands those things don't work. I just can't relate to able-bodied characters as much.

[normal-thoughts-official]

This feels like the mortifying of being known, except I'm still mostly unknown, but desperate times (replaying ilitw) require desperate measures, ajsjsjdhjs I'm Identity Thief Anon (and Chilenon but I already told you that i think)

Anyways I NEED more thoughts on ilitw (if you can, if you already got too tired of it obviously you dont need to answer or anything)

I JUST REALIZED IN THE "INTRO" OF EACH CHAPTER MR RED MAKES THE SCREEN DARK WITH HIS "HAND" I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T CAUGHT IT BEFORE !!

Also I think there are plotholes about Ava ? But maybe not, pls tell me if you have any idea of her timeline being friends or friend-ish with the group, because she didn't know or didn't remember mr red but she was in the woods a few times? Idk maybe I got confused

And what do you think of Lucas's mom, like we barely get info on her but do you have any thoughts? (I still think the teacher was a jerk and Im glad the snake bite him ajsjs)

Also I do have the choices app hacked now (not sure if I told you or not before sorry) and I need to know

Do you get all the weapons / info / pet companies when you play?

Because when I first played I did but now I'm not sure if I want Everything-Everything because I want a bit more of pressure ? Like to feel even more concern for everyone, but also it feels like a waste not getting everything and I do want all the info so maybe not just all the weapons ? Idk, so I was wondering how did you played

And I was curiously if you ever ended up playing Perfect Match?

Okay, that's everything I think, sorry if this is like creepy or anything (?)

♡♡♡

Also Andy is still the funniest guy

[ID: Andy from ILITW smiling and saying, "Yeah, I know. I don't mind that you're Asian, either". End ID]

You had NOT told me that you're chilenon, although you did tell me that chilenon and identity thief anon were the same person. Hello! It's nice to see you. I've missed you a lot, I even thought of turning anon back on for you but unfortunately people are unbearable and turning off anon improved my mental health and general tumblr experience SO much

It's been a hot sec since I last replayed ILITW but from what I remember Ava does remember Mr Red? She even tells Stacy "you know damn well he wasn't imaginary" when she calls Mr Red their imaginary friend.

As for Lucas' mom... Now that's an interesting question. Again it's been a hot second, but I did rewatch the scene where MC finds out about Lucas' pills on youtube, which I'm pretty sure is the only scene where he talks about it in depth, and I think she has the potential to be pretty interesting

Like... The whole "she came to the US as a kid, was poor, worked 3 jobs, built herself from the ground up" story sounds pretty fucking traumatic to me, and I think it'd be interesting if that was the root of her.............. shortcomings as a mother

Lucas says that his parents "can't hide how disappointed they are" in him, but I'm not gonna take that at face value because we never see them interact except for a one-sided phone conversation. I'm not saying he's lying or making shit up or exaggerating to be clear, I just don't think Lucas is in the best place to evaluate his worth and the perception other people have of him right now. We know what anxiety is like, you assume everything means people are judging you, and you are actively turning whatever you see into proof of that

Not that she didn't push him very hard. She obviously did and it was traumatic as fuck and just, what the fuck, lady. I just think he may be misinterpreting her reasons for it. His mom had to suffer a lot to be able to survive, nevermind thrive, especially considering that she was a brown immigrant woman in the US. And I think she's kind of scared that she could lose what she built at any time, because it still feels so precarious, like if she ever took a break from all her stuff she'd be back to square 1. And I think she knows that, as a brown queer kid, Lucas will have to work twice as hard to get half the recognition, and I think that prospect scares her

Which is why I think that she pushes him so hard - because she wholeheartedly believes that he needs to if he's ever going to "make it". Unsure what "make it" means to her, but the truth is that in her experience she only had two things: horrifying poverty and back-breakingly hard work. So... I think that, in her head, if Lucas is not killing himself studying, he's gonna end up like she was at the beginning. And with him being a brown man there are other worries associated with that, like racial profiling with the police and etc (not that non-men don't have to worry about that, it's just more common among them)

In short, I think this might be coming from a genuine place of love and caring and just... Unprocessed trauma leading her to think this is the only way to make sure her son has a good life. And I think she could be a very interesting character to explore in that sense. Just... Pushing herself so hard because she feels like she's in a constant race against poverty, always looking behind her back, never truly believing that she can keep the good things she's earned

With that being said... Girl, go to therapy. She's rich as shit now so she can afford it. You're ruining a perfectly good Lucas. Look at him, he's got a pill addiction

In short, Lucas deserves better, but I like to believe that this is coming from a place of genuine love and care for him, especially because I think that's more interesting than just pushing him super hard for no reason. #Lucas'MomGoToTherapy2023

As for the weapons and info... The first time I played, yeah, because I wanted to have all the information possible, you know? Like I wanted to enjoy everything there is to enjoy about the story. But when choices matter I do always make a playthrough later where I make the same choices but without any diamond ones, just to see if I would still get a good result. I'm competitive :p and then if it doesn't matter I just get the ones I really want to or am curious to do. Like I'm not gonna go on the Connor dates cuz I don't give a fuck. But if I want to do something I see no reason not to, unless it's to test myself

I'd say just do what you want, tbh. There's no reason to feel like you "should" get everything, and it's fun to have a bit more pressure as you said. It's kind of sad that Choices keeps making diamond choices have a massive impact on the characters' wellbeing because it's frustrating both from the side where you don't use them (cuz you know... fuck you) and on the side where you DO (because I want to date Lucas but I also want to feel like I EARNED my good ending).

And I did end up playing Perfect Match! I can't believe I hadn't mentioned that to you before. I really liked it. Polyamory rights. Sloane is the best. I had fun daiuhsaiudhaiudash

And it's not creepy, I'm happy to have you <3

(And yes, Andy is perfect. But I'm biased)

[awkwardwithapause263]

Spoilers for Episode 7 of Mayfair Witches if you haven’t watched.

I was right when I said his boss was involved and many someones were right when they voted yes on the poll about whether Rowan was pregnant.

Is Lasher going to possess Rowan’s baby? Is the ancient prophecy to bring forth him in a physical body? What’s gonna happen to her once she fulfills this prophecy? Will Lasher let her be killed like he did with Antha and Deirdre? Will he kill her?

I’m sorry but I still wouldn’t summon Lasher to avenge Tessa. She got herself into that situation and I wouldn’t condemn myself to whatever Lasher has planned.

But I guess Rowan feels responsible because she didn’t wait for everyone else like she was suppose to(effectively getting herself into the situation she’s now in and the consequences that’ll no doubt follow.) and she didn’t killed them all when she did go in(also I feel like she couldn’t wait because they were about to burn Tessa alive.)

I hope the family realizes Lasher sacrificed Tessa for his end goal(as he has no doubt sacrificed many over the centuries.)

What was that lady talking about woman to woman? I know Tessa said it first, but she’s a kid and did that woman really think killing her would do any real damage to the Mayfairs? They’d still have money and influence (the very thing that caused that woman to lose her job). If anything killing her would turn all that money and influence toward them in a worst way and anyways losing her job and her insurance was greed not witchcraft

I hope Keith is running in fear for his life. I was like good that’s what you get bitch. I wouldn’t want to be him when Rowan catches up to him.

It looks like Ciprien is going to touch the mask from episode one. Maybe we’ll finally see what happened. What Cortland did and how Patrick died.

Is Ciprien going to be wiped from the record? Or did they splice the scenes of the blind secretary and Odette together to make it seem like it’s something it’s not?

Seems like Jojo is going to find out what’s up with Cortland and maybe what’s going on overall.

I wouldn’t take Lasher’s hand if it was the only way out of any situation. I mean like him but I also wouldn’t I want anyone to go with him.

Maybe add more.

Don’t like the fact Dolly Jean told Cortland Rowan’s pregnant. That wasn’t her business.

I find the fact Cortland keeps calling Rowan cher aggravating. 

If Arlo had survived he would have gotten a rude awakening when he found out law enforcement and other companies/corporations/entities use witches. Even if they don’t and woman still succeed it just means they more than likely put in 3x the more/better work than their male counterparts.

Do you call the corners? Motherfucker was talking about the craft.

Does Lasher carry out Rowan’s wishes, will or desire? Because they keep switching terminology.

When Lasher says she let you go because you served your purpose he makes it sound like Rowan knew what would happen with the whole pregnancy thing which she certainly did not.

Ciprien should have been really concerned when his boss started talking about past chapters killing agents that intervened. He should have flung himself out the the passenger side. I don’t think he would have gotten too hurt according to him they weren’t going that fast.

His boss is a hypocrite.

Did Rowan mess with Cortland’s ALS? Because if she did that would parallel with Louis messing with Daniel’s Parkinson’s

[lorlorblue]

DB: Circus (CHAPTER 1 - How everything started.)

life is beautiful, people around the world go to their jobs, or schools. Life can sometimes be boring, heartbreaking even. But everything heals with time. you can hang out with friends, play games or find a lover! Life is so beautiful- BEEP! Well, maybe if alarms didn't exist- BEEP! " AUGH, SHUT UP! " He picked the alarm and threw it against the wall, breaking it before he goes back to his slumber,  shutting his eyes. It obviously didn't work. He sighed heavily before he sat on his bed, his flame like black hair was a disaster, he massaged the bridge of his nose " I hate school. " he muttered to himself before stepping out of the bed, he was wearing black boxers. He yawned and rubbed his tired eyes, he was still sleepy, he always was. He headed to the bathroom to start his routine. After that he went to drink his morning brew, he checked his phone. It was 6:45 A.M. His friend sent him a message, he even called when the other was in the bathroom to check on him, sometimes he doesn't show up, because he overslept. "hey, geets! Are you awake?" he simply reacted with a thumbs up, smiling, he left the phone and went to wear the uniform. Now it was 7:53 A.M. because of his damned hair. after that, he went to his high-school. Entering the already starting math lesson, oh my god, having math as the first lesson is like hell. Thankfully, it went fast.

It's launch time now, he went to the table, waiting for his friend. His only friend. No one talked to him, they saw him..weird, an angry short guy who did nothing but scream. He was almost thinking deeply about it until he heard his friend shouting " Vegeta! " he smiled.

His friend was tall, he had this weird black hair too, and he had a rather softer face than his friend. He sat beside him. " how are you?! " he asked, kindly.

" bad. " vegeta simply replied, " who gets math as their first lesson? That's bullshit. " he continued.

" whoa tough guy, how are you gonna make your own company without being educated? "

" I know! But it's annoying! " vegeta said, frustrated.

" yeah, but it's necessary "

"..wanna hang out today? " vegeta suggested.

" sure, why not? " He smiled

Goku, was vegeta's only friend. He was the entertainment for him. He couldn't imagine losing him. He can't, why would he anyway? They both promised each other not to split until finishing high-school at least. And they were one year close to go to college. Life was fun, it was full of happiness! Until he heard these shocking news..

Vegeta was trembling, eyes wide,  mouth gaping at the view in front of him. His friend's house was burning. Fire was eating it. Everyone survived with little injuries, except for him. Firefighters were there, the ambulance too. They were out with a clothed figure, with white and red stains. He knew it was his friend. He fell to his knees. He couldn't accept it.

Vegeta didn't arrive at goku's funeral. He didn't arrive at anything, in fact, he didn't get out of his room. he was sleeping more than ever, he wasn't going to school, he wasn't eating. It was rare when he gets out of his room, and when he does, no one talks to him. He was always shouting or screaming or even destroying. He couldn't move on.

His family started to worry about him, it's why they started to bring him his favorite food, new console or device, Go out with him. Eventually, he got better, at least he was eating.

He was also getting messages wrote by hands, gifts and snacks. He didn't know where it was coming from, but it was appreciated.

On the other hand, goku's family. His father sasaki, and his younger brother kakarot. neither of them moved on. They couldn't. It was hard. Kakarot was 4 years old, he already was trying to move on from his mother's death two years ago, now his brother. Meanwhile, sasaki was trying to revive his son, it was impossible, but he just couldn't give up. It is why he hired professional scientists. They secretly worked for him. But they needed a subject to test on, a human. It is why sasaki kidnapped goku's only friend who knew about his death. It was how..it started.

Hi! This is a dragon ball x fnaf story. I'll turn it into a game and a manga, I'll hopefully succeed! Original story is from fnaf, this is inspired of fnaf. Characters are NOT mine, they're from akira toriyama sensei ( rip) .

I'M NO NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER, I'M STILL LEARNING!

[brummiereader]

@emotionalcadaver eeek...Lucy 😬🙈!

I had a feeling this was gonna happen 😬. Something was gonna push her to the point of making a decision out of anger. I don't know why I feel so nervous about this, but I do. I've only seen her take someone out with Tommy next to her. I have faith in her, but not in anyone that works at the midland, especially this Maria and her mischievous eyes 🧐.

Ooh, quick question! I may have missed it in previous chapters but. Do Tommy and Lucy wear wedding type rings or commitment rings, or are her rings something completely different?

When she was sure that he was out of earshot, she turned to Tommy, and was promptly met with stern eyes and pursed lips. “No.”

“You haven’t even heard what I’ve got to say yet!” she protested. Well, we all knew that was going to be his reaction 😂. He's not doing himself any favours here. I know he's scared of losing her, but she doesn't seem like the kind of woman that is happy being kept away from things. She wants to be in the thick of it.

Her lips parted, stuttering slightly at the realization that she did not actually have a good answer for him. I think her inner thoughts after this part describe exactly why she wants to do this. Every single one of them. And I think ultimately, it's who she is. She's an assassin.

“Miss. Winters,” Aberama greeted in that slow drawl of his, AHHH 😍❤️❤️!! I literally squealed when Aberama made an appearance. I love his character so much! And you did an incredible job at portraying his mannerisms and way of speaking.

I loved their whole conversation. It felt so warm and cosy, when he reminded of her life before on the road. And even though Lucy herself said that it didn't feel like home, you could feel that traveller spirit awaken in her after talking with Aberama.

Aberama took a step towards her. “There’s something you ought to know…” 🧐🧐?? What was that Aberama?? Hun, you can't just leave this one unanswered 😩😭!

“Fuck the betting shop!” Linda cut him off, and the whole room went dead silent. Linda 🤦🏼‍♀️. You've gotta give it to her, she has no problem standing up to Tommy. It's just the way she goes about it, and the fact that she doesn't give any consideration to who Arthur is and the world he's lived his entire life in. He's a gangster for fuck sake 😂!

I mean, what do you even do for this company, anyway? Other than follow Thomas around like a lost little puppy all day.” urgh, I found her so irritating in this part. And as for her insulting Lucy...🙄😤. What annoys me the most with her and what you did a fantastic job with, is the hypocrisy. She's the first to point fingers on her high stool of morals, but she's just as manipulative as the rest of them. I'm not surprised Lucy stormed out, she was already annoyed about Tommy, Linda was the final push. I always feel a little sorry for Lucy, I get the impression she constantly feels like an outsider, no matter what she does for them or how hard she tries. It's like she'll never be enough for them 😩.

Fuck it,” she mumbled under her breath, and started to climb the steps of the Midland hotel. Shit 😬. I just knew she would want to prove to herself and them that she was more than what they think of her after that.

“Okay. Grab me that wig, over there.” Is she about to go incognito as a prostitute?? I mean, I'm all for seeing Lucy put on a clever show and then taking them out 👌. But I'm so nervous they're gonna find out before it happens or there's gonna more men present than she can handle by herself. Like I said at the beginning, this may be because I've not seen her fight by herself yet. But I dunno, I have a bad feeling 😬. Tommy is gonna be pacing the floors, wondering where's she's gone 😳!

Can't wait to see how everything unfolds! Another amazing chapter, Laur ❤️!

Part 21: The Shadow of the Abattoir

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: Lucy's usefulness to the company is called into question.

Word Count: 3,587

Notes: Warnings for depictions of slut shaming (sort of).

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Chapter 11: Useful

Her fingers twitched, thumb rubbing idly at her rings while she listened to Isiah brief them on what their boys had found during their stakeouts of the flat where Clara had told them some of the Italians were hiding out.

“It’s Alessio. We’ve seen him come in and out a couple of times. From what we can gather, it looks like he has two guards with him. His wife stays there too, but on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, she leaves from eleven in the morning to three in the afternoon to have lunch with friends, go to the salon, and help facilitate this book and knitting club she’s a part of. That’s when Alessio and the boys will call on Elizabeth or other whores and have them come over to the flat.”

“Are there any children?” Lucy asked, gaze focused on the opposite wall of the office. Today was a Wednesday. It was a little past noon. 

“No. Alessio and his wife don’t have any. Not so sure about the guards, but if they do, they aren’t staying with them.”

“And the wife leaves at those same times? Every day?” Tommy prompted. 

“Yes.”

“Good,” Lucy could already feel the beginnings of a plan forming in her mind. “Well done, Isiah, you’ve done a good job here.”

Tommy jerked his chin towards the door. “You can go.”

Isiah nodded to them both. “Family meeting in ten minutes, right?”

“Yeah, we’ll be gathering in the kitchen. Feel free to put some tea on, while you wait,” Lucy stood from where she’d been leaning with her back propped up against her desk, arms crossed over her chest.

“Thanks.”

“And don’t mention this to anyone else yet!” Tommy called after him. 

She watched the kid duck out the door, weaving around the desks in the betting shop to make his way towards the kitchen. When she was sure that he was out of earshot, she turned to Tommy, and was promptly met with stern eyes and pursed lips. 

“No.”

“You haven’t even heard what I’ve got to say yet!” she protested. He sighed, pulling off his glasses and tossing them onto the pile of papers atop his desk, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. “Tommy,” she strode towards him, placing both palms flat on the smooth wood surface, leaning forward across it. With her standing and him still seated in his chair, she was actually taller than him for once. “This is part of what you hired me for in the first place.”

“That was before we had others who can do the killings for us. Besides,” he folded his hands together. “I usually only sent you after ordinary people, not trained soldiers of the Sicilian mafia.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You think that I can’t handle them?”

“It’s not a problem of if you can handle them or not, love,” he said quietly, and when he looked up, she was struck by the look in his eyes, teetering on pleading. “I can’t lose you.”

She took a deep breath, trying hard to remember Grace’s words from her dream:

The idea of losing you is probably terrifying.

“I know,” she said, gently as she could, reaching across the desk to take his face in her hands. “I know you worry, but I will be fine. I promise. I’ll take some of our boys with me, if that’ll make you feel better, just please…please let me do this, Tommy. There’s only three of them. If I leave now, I could be done with all of them maybe even before the family meeting is over.”

“Why?” Tommy asked, voice hoarse, staring up at her destitutely. “There’s no reason that it has to be you. The Golds can deal with them just as easily.”

Her lips parted, stuttering slightly at the realization that she did not actually have a good answer for him. She couldn’t say why it was so important that she be the one to go after Alessio. Or who it was exactly she was trying to prove something too. Maybe herself. Maybe the rest of the family. Maybe it was just her fucking pride getting in the way of things; insisting that she was still top-dog when it came to this kind of work, even though she hardly actually partook in it anymore. An insistence to prove that she wasn’t rusty–which she wasn’t, by the way. She still kept up with sparring and shooting and throwing knives. She was just as tough and capable as all the rest of them. Even Aberama Gold and his far-reaching reputation for savagery. 

Before she could even begin to think of an answer, she heard the doors bang open and then the loud hum of boisterous discussion as people started to arrive. She pulled back, away from the desk, looking over her shoulder to see Aberama and Bonnie walking side by side towards the kitchen, chatting to each other while Polly and Ada trailed in behind them. She looked back at Tommy.

“We’ll talk about it later.”

He must have heard the dejection in her voice, because he looked up sharpy, brows drawing together. “Lucy…”

But she was already making for the door, yanking it open with perhaps a little more force than necessary. Behind her, she heard him sigh, chair scraping against the floorboards as he pushed it back to stand and follow her. 

She went directly to the kitchen, giving a small nod to Polly and Ada as a hello. Isiah and Bonnie were talking by the window, and she had to sidestep around Aberama to grab a teacup to fill from the kettle Isiah had already made up. 

“Miss. Winters,” Aberama greeted in that slow drawl of his, watching her as she poured the tea, swirling it idly in her cup and blowing on it before taking a sip. 

“Mr. Gold,” she acknowledged politely.

He shifted, leaning an arm against the counter. Turning, she spotted Tommy talking with Polly and Ada near the door to his office, hands shoved deep into his pockets. When his eyes darted to hers, she looked hastily away. 

She wasn’t mad at him, not really. Just…put out. 

Okay, fine. She was mad at him. But only a little. 

“You wouldn’t happen to be related to Miri and Mercy Lovell, would you?” Aberama asked, pulling her from her musings. She started at the names. It had been a long time since she’d heard either of them. He smiled at her kindly, cocking his head. “I ask because you look like them. Similar shade of hair, petite…”

“Miri is my aunt.”

He nodded. “I thought as much. You’re Genevieve’s daughter, aren’t you?”

Lucy frowned, putting down her teacup. “You knew my mother?”

“Not really. Her family and mine would often bump into each other at the fairs when we were in Wales. And then she left, off into the city with your father. I still see Miri every once in a while.”

“How is she?”

“She’s alright. Mercy’s become quite impressive. She’s got to be one of the best marksmen I’ve ever seen. Does a whole show around it at the fairs.”

“Good aim runs in the family,” she murmured, suddenly swept up in memories of summers spent with Miri and her cousins in the countryside, Mercy teaching her to shoot a revolver and throw knives with near-flawless accuracy. Her and Mercy teaming up in boxing matches against Mercy’s brothers. It was always her favorite time of the year, and while she’d adored all of her cousins, Mercy had always been the one she was closest with. 

An ache pinched deeply in her chest, not quite homesickness–the caravans had never been her home, after all–but close.

“Did you ever work in the fairs?” Aberama asked curiously. A few more people were starting to filter in, Jeremiah stepped inside, moving to talk with Isiah where Finn had already joined him and Bonnie. Johnny Dogs’s voice boomed from the doorway as he greeted Tommy enthusiastically. 

“Sometimes. Fortune telling, mostly. I wanted to be a contortionist, was practicing for a whole damn year to be one, actually, but Mum said no after I almost broke my neck.”

He chuckled. “Pity. I hear from Miri that the contortionists are some of the most popular acts at the moment.”

She shrugged. “It wasn’t all a waste. I’m still quite flexible. It’s come in handy from time to time.”

Aberama chuckled. “I’m sure it does,” he eyed her for a moment. “You look so much like her, in the right light.”

“Who?”

“Your mother.”

She looked down. It hadn’t been an uncommon statement, when she was younger. All the women in her family on her mother’s side looked the same: dark red, curly hair, big eyes, and petite, curvy figures. Her mother had been prettier than her, though. For one, she hadn’t been covered neck to toe in faded scars, and for another, she had a mane of deep red curls that fell to the small of her back, and big, doe brown eyes. She didn’t smile often, but when she did, dimples appeared in her cheeks.

Aberama took a step towards her. “There’s something you ought to know…”

“Right!” Tommy’s voice booming throughout the kitchen had everyone, even Aberama, silencing and turning their attention to him. Polly, Ada, Linda, and Arthur all took seats at the table while everyone else gathered in close in the cramped space. Glasses of whiskey were passed around. Lucy took the one Ada offered her thankfully, shooting one last curious look at Aberama, making a mental note to enquire further about what he had been meaning to tell her after the meeting was over.

 Tommy’s eyes swooped across everyone, taking mental tally and ensuring that all were present. “Lizzie’s not here; Ada tells me that she’s dealing with some sort of paperwork disaster over at the other office and won’t be making it, so we’ll continue without her. First off, a commendation, for Arthur. He killed two Changretta men who broke into one of our factories. Every life taken by us from the enemy side should be considered a victory. So I propose, to start off this meeting, that we drink a toast, to Arthur and his good fortune.”

Everyone raised their glass while Arthur mumbled bashfully. Tommy stared at him intensely, the entire operation clearly an attempt to extend an olive branch regarding the recent conflict over opening up the hit on Luca. It certainly seemed to achieve its goal in getting him at least partially back in Arthur’s good graces, based on the way he smiled slightly at him.

“Next item of business, after a vote taken during a meeting of the board members, we have agreed to put out an official bounty for Luca Changretta. I want word to go out today. This bounty would be up for collection for you as well, Mr. Gold,” he addressed Aberama directly, reaching into his pocket. “Should you or your son deliver Luca dead or alive to us, you will be rewarded,” he passed to Aberama the enlarged photograph of Luca from Alessio’s wedding pictures. Lucy watched Arthur from the corner of her eye; he was looking down at the table and scowling, Linda’s hand curling around his shoulder. Her self-righteous face was tight with anger, though Lucy couldn’t imagine what she had to be upset about regarding the bounty being extended to Bonnie and Aberama.

“Item number three: the betting shop needs–”

“Fuck the betting shop!” Linda cut him off, and the whole room went dead silent. Arthur’s head snapped up from where it had been bowed, eyes staring at his wife in wide shock. 

“I want to know what you’re planning to do about the man who gave Arthur up at the factory,” she demanded, back straight, head tilted up in that stuck-up way that pointed her nose at an angle towards the ceiling. She met Tommy’s icy-cold gaze straight on, fearless. 

She had balls, Lucy could at least give her that. 

Tommy wetted his lips, taking his time in answering Linda’s question. Lucy suspected that the delay in him speaking was half out of pettiness, and half because her outburst had genuinely surprised him.

“We are still conducting an investigation into who may have been responsible for letting the Italians into the factory. We’ve eliminated a number of suspects, so far, but until we are sure who it was–”

“Nothing!” Linda flung her hands up into the air, looking around as if expecting others to back her up. “You mean that you are going to do nothing about the man who set my husband up to die–”

Tommy’s eyes narrowed. “That is not what I said, Linda.”

“But it’s what’s happening, isn’t it!?” she screeched, yanking her arm away from Arthur when he tried to grab it in an attempt to get her to calm down, rising to her feet. “Too busy chasing after the big prize of Luca Changretta’s head on a fucking platter, too busy making sure that your precious company doesn’t lose a single pound in profits to worry all too much about the fact that the man who set up your brother to be murdered is still walking around and could come for him again at any moment!” Her lips curled back from her teeth in a snarl. “But I suppose it doesn’t matter, right? You’ve already gotten one brother killed, so what’s another one to add to the pile, right?”

Tommy flinched, a movement so small Lucy doubted that it was noticed by anyone but her; and yet it was there, as was the flicker of deep grief, guilt, and hurt that swirled up past the layers of his armor in his eyes. It was only there for but a microsecond, but she saw it. And its presence caused protectiveness to flare within her. 

“Linda, sit down,” Lucy ordered, taking a step forward.

Linda rounded on her, eyes alight with fury. The cross on the chain around her neck swayed against her chest with the movement, light reflecting off of it, and Lucy fought back the urge to cringe away and hiss at the sight of it. 

“Nobody asked for your opinion, you…you slut!”

Lucy’s brows flew up at the insult. Not that she didn’t already know what Linda thought about her, but she hadn’t exactly expected her to verbalize it at a meeting with everyone present. But then again, she hadn’t expected her to start in on a verbal attack of Tommy, either. 

“Hey!” Tommy barked, voice so loud it made Ada cringe uncomfortably in her seat. But not Linda. No, Linda kept her eyes focused solely on Lucy, her attention diverted momentarily away from Tommy and onto her. 

“I mean, what do you even do for this company, anyway? Other than follow Thomas around like a lost little puppy all day.”

“Linda, that’s enough,” Tommy growled, voice low and dangerous. 

“Linda, please,” Arthur said gruffly, still trying to pull her back down into her seat.   

Lucy stared into her challenging eyes, fighting back the sudden urge to slap her. Stupid woman; she’d spent, what? One day in the betting shop, and now thought that she understood how everything was run? Fucking hell. 

With a shake of her head, she slammed her glass of whiskey down onto the counter and made for the door, the others that were in her way shuffling hastily to let her shoulder past them. She heard Tommy call her name, but ignored him. She had promised him that she would try her best to play nice, and if she stayed there much longer, she was more and more likely to break that promise. 

Her footsteps thundered down the street, boots clicking audibly against the cobblestones while she walked. A particularly dark look must have found its way onto her face, because several people hurried to get out of her way as she passed. 

Her foul mood was not helped by the acknowledgement that at least a large chunk of her anger stemmed from the fact that Linda wasn’t entirely wrong. 

Sometimes it did feel like all she did was follow Tommy around. Yes, she helped to keep track of things, helped with paperwork, took notes on all his meetings–which, by the way, they didn’t use all that often because Tommy had the memory of a fucking elephant–and offered insight and ideas, but there were times when she couldn’t help but think that, at least without factoring in Tommy’s emotions towards her, the company would be fully capable of functioning just fine without her. 

Sighing, she pulled her cap out of her pocket, pulling it on over her hair. Stuffing her hands deep into her pockets, she kept her head lowered as she walked, so it wouldn’t be too obvious to anyone that passed her by that she was sulking. 

When she got to her destination, she hesitated momentarily. Tommy would be upset with her, if she stepped past the threshold of the doors she was currently staring at. After all, she had said they’d talk about it more later. He’d probably be agitated that she just went off without any backup and not even the go-ahead from him. 

What do you even do for this company, anyway?

“Fuck it,” she mumbled under her breath, and started to climb the steps of the Midland hotel. 

“Can I help you?” the receptionist smiled sweetly, when she approached the counter. 

“I need to speak with Billy. Immediately,” Lucy kept her voice low, pulling out a cigarette while she waited. He came bustling down hastily but a few moments after the receptionist called for him, a little out of breath.

“Miss. Winters, my apologies, we weren’t expecting you–”

“I need to speak with Clara,” she said, pulling her watch from her pocket to check the time. Almost one. 

“She just got in, but I was about to send her off to work…”

“This won’t take long.”

“Alright, I’ll send her up to your room–”

“No, I won’t be staying. Take me down to where the girls get ready.”

Billy’s face went a little ashen. “We don’t normally allow clients into that part of the hotel.”

“Billy, you are testing my fucking patience,” she snapped, and he winced, looking around the lobby anxiously. 

“Very well. This way.”

She followed him through a side door and down a winding set of stairs, suppressing a chill as they traveled lower and lower into the bowels of the hotel. When they finally got to the end of the stairs, they were greeted by a narrow hallway. Billy took her to a door labeled with a placard reading: Dressing Room. Shooting her a nervous glance over his shoulder, he knocked once. 

“Ladies?” he called. There was movement on the other side of the door, and then it opened with a creak of complaint. 

“Yes, Billy?” Maria poked her dark head of hair out, brow raised curiously. She had a forever enduring sparkle of mischief in her eyes, and lips that seemed to always be settled into a small, knowing smile. 

“Maria, is Clara still there?”

Maria opened her mouth to answer, but a softer voice spoke up behind her.

“Yes?” a moment later, Clara had appeared behind Maria’s shoulder, a tube of lipstick clutched in her hands. Billy looked at Lucy. 

“Leave us.”

He hesitated, and she rolled her eyes, reaching into her coat and holding out a roll of bills to him. He took it tentatively, pocketing it with a small nod.

“Girls,” he said to Clara and Maria. “Miss. Winters,” he smiled at her uncomfortably. She waited until he was climbing the stairs, and then turned to the girls.

“Can I come in?” 

They looked at each other, then Maria stepped aside, holding the door open for her. She stepped in, glancing around while Maria shut the door behind her. 

Small vanities were lined against the right and left walls. Some were neat and spotless in their organization, while others were messy and chaotic, nearly spilling over onto the vanities next to it. Makeup and hair-styling products were stored on most of them, and several racks, nearly bursting with clothing, were pushed up against the wall opposite the door. 

“Which one is Elizabeth’s?” Lucy asked. Clara pointed to one of the messier vanities. Lucy went over to it, picking up a palette of makeup that rested atop the general chaos of items tossed upon the vanity. She set it back down, checking her watch again. 

One-thirty.

“Is Elizabeth working today?”

“Yes. She’s upstairs with a client now,” Maria said.

“You’re sure she’s upstairs?”

They both nodded.

Turning back to Elizabeth’s vanity, Lucy touched the coat hanging off the back of the chair lightly. It would be a little big on her, but that would be to her advantage. Her eyes skimmed around the dressing room, taking in the wigs stored on mannequin heads on a shelf. She reached into her coat pocket, drawing out another wad of bills, counting them out and then splitting them between Maria and Clara. 

“I’m going to need you two to help me with some things. And then I’m going to need you to keep Elizabeth away from that flat for the rest of the day. Alright?”

Clara’s eyes widened a small fraction. They nodded. Lucy turned back to the vanity, pulling off her cap and brushing a few locks of her distinctive red hair off of her forehead. 

“Okay. Grab me that wig, over there.” 

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Custom Toonami Block Week 122 Rundown

Inuyasha: So now that the Band of Seven arc is finally over and the filler arc is all done, Naraku finally makes his reappearance after what’s been about 40+ episodes, for perspective Inuyasha as a whole is about 200 episodes long so that’s like 20% of the series the main villain just dipped out of. But yeah now he’s got his big final form and everyone makes a big deal of how much stronger he’s gotten but dude still has no attacks like his only attack is deflecting Inuyasha’s attack. You’d expect after several months of becoming a mountain of demons incarnate he’d be able to do an energy blast or some shit but Naraku never really gets a good attack move which is funny when you get into fighting games and his moves are like… just roots and shit from the first couple episodes. Anyway for some reason Inuyasha doesn’t even try the Red Tessaiga even though Naraku clearly has his barrier up and he just spins the Wind Scar around the mountain hoping it’ll cut up Inuyasha and company like a demon-powered feudal era blender. He’s about to do the Bond Villain thing and be like ‘well my trap’ll surely kill you so I’mma just leave’ when Kagome comes out swinging and shoots his feet to detach Koga and his jewel shards from Naraku… eating him with his feet or something idk. Which it’s probably a really good thing she did this because if Naraku just had Koga’s shards at this point he’d probably have taken Kohaku’s shard back earlier before he rebels and would just have the whole jewel early. Kikyo tries to stop Kagura from taking the Boss Baby away from the mountain and preventing a third movie but Sacred Arrows are kind of an all or nothing thing and she rolled Snake Eyes. Anyway Naraku’s running away again because he’s a Legendary Pokemon with a bunch of stall moves and is gonna go kill Kikyo because it’s the classic story of a nasty breakup so you have to hide in a mountain to several months to get over her and hire seven zombie mercenaries to be your bodyguards so you can get mentally well enough and expel all human emotions to kill your ex, normal stuff.

Yu Yu Hakusho: We continue the Stand Users arc and I’m just kinda realizing how much the Fullbringers arc of Bleach rips from this like we legit just have the weird base level humans with powers AND they’re led by the dude that had the job that the main character has before him. Anyway because of shenanigans Kuwabara and Botan quickly lose the taboo game, like Kuwabara’s a phonetics trick and Botan’s just a dumbass which you’d expect those roles to be reverse but idk. Anyway Kurama’s like ‘well you know both of us are too smart to walk around one taboo word forever so how about an extreme version that takes forty-five minutes and if time’s up I’ll just give you my soul’ and Kaito agrees. And this game is really interesting especially with the little overlay they give for every time one of them speaks. Basically every minute and a half or so they cross another character out of the Japanese alphabet starting from the back and working front, the dub dialogue basically makes a direct transplant for the American alphabet which is clearly not what they’re doing but it would’ve been exceedingly hard to explain that to American kids in the 90s so I can’t really blame them for the simplified explanation since even now I don’t know enough about Japanese to really check the facts on this one. But yeah either of them could just be silent the whole time and Kurama loses but they’re both genius egotistical assholes so they make a game of still talking every now and then just to flex on the other. Kaito gets up to pee and finds his guard’s been knocked out and his room is now a forest with Kurama lying in wait to ambush him to make a sound when there’s no available letters left. My question is… what would Kurama have done if Kaito didn’t have to pee? Like I guess he could’ve still made the forest, just doing it while he’s not around makes for a better effect but like idk I feel like him having to pee was out of Kurama’s control and was a decently important part of how this plan shakes out so to speak. Anyway anyway Kurama ambushes him and baas in his ear like a sheep to surprise him but it doesn’t work and he catches Kaito off-guard when he thinks he’s won by making a dumb meme face which would definitely be a meme or reaction image by now if they ever showed it but not showing it does drive people all the more crazy. So now the guys are back from the Shadow Ralm and they’re ready to do their next Stand User.

Fate/Apocrypha: So this is kind of the ‘okay where the fuck we at’ episode since like half the Servants are dead and a bunch of people switched sides so we gotta still fucking take stock. Team Yggy now has Mordred, Chiron, Astolfo, Sieg and Jeanne as well as technically the defunct Jack the Ripper. Team Shirou is now Atalante, Semiramis, Karna, Achilles, Shakespeare and technically Shirou himself so we’re about at six to six though a lot of those have huge fucking asterisks beside them. Jeanne’s all ‘hey main character guy be careful because your last transformation didn’t take a Command Seal and that’s bad for some reason’ and Chiron’s upset because wheelchair girl is the leader of Team Yggy now and he doesn’t think Mrs. Doc Ock Jr. has what it takes to kill someone and we get some backstory on her and some character development for some other Team Yggy members in a vain attempt to get me to stop calling them Team Babyeater in my head. They’re still kinda like ‘Shirou wants to HELP people? The fuck’s with that?’ but since this is the Monkey’s Paw Grail it’ll probably ‘save’ everyone but killing everyone, idk I guess Angry Manlet’s still in there being an angry manlet in this timeline. Lion dude’s backstory gets around and he tells Mordred that his ancestor made a contract that made them super powerful necromancers but it casts the magicial equivalent of small your dick and now they can’t do the magical equivalent of making magical babies anymore and if they try to do any found family shenanigans it kills the kid so he’s gonna steal the Grail while the other two teams are fighting and get to have kids or something I guess idk. I feel like that’s easier said than done because if there was just a way to walk past both teams while they’re fighting then one of the other teams would’ve done it already.

Speed Grapher: This is kind of a really sad episode, Saiga’s on edge after getting Kagura back and is kinda short with her but apologetic about it and they talk a little about the actual story of the Little Mermaid who was ironically the same age as Kagura when she went to the surface and fell in love which may or may not be trying to justify the potential romantic relationship wit Saiga idk we’re still kind of zig-zagging on whether this relationship is romantic or paternal. Anyway by complete coincidence the new Euphoric is a mute lady who had her mom continually try to die by walking into the ocean and often taking the girl with her until finally the mom DID die but she didn’t and now her Euphoric power controls water and turns her into both a monstrous mermaid and a normal one depending on how she’s feeling. It’s kind of awkward since she’s mute we have to have Tsujido kinda explain her backstory to everyone and we don’t really get her thoughts on it until the end which feels like her end comes out of nowhere. But yeah this is the lady that killed Kagura’s mom’s financial planner and now she makes a living as a hitman and life insurance frauder by dragging men into the sea with her which Tsujido posits is survivor’s guilt for living when her mom died. Funnily enough she’s also an actress and played a mute ghost in exactly one movie which Saiga actually saw which makes it kind of hilarious when she starts attacking them in a similar way to her appearance in the movie and he’s like ‘wait a minute I’ve seen this movie’. Weird that she finds them so quick despite Tsujido having the nose of a bloodhound but water shenanigans I guess. She tries to play possum with Saiga but he’s kind of in a hurry since Kagura’s getting more sick so she skips to trying to drown Saiga and with all the fog and shit it’s hard to actually use his cameras against her. Though it seems when she sees Kagura dive in after Saiga to save him we learn she actually asked her suicidal mother to take her with her when she died and seeing Saiga has someone else that wants him to live instead makes her let go of him and evaporate into mist and turn into rainfall which Tsujido says smells just like her, revealing that the wish she wanted was to be killed and she was able to use enough of her Euphoric powers that her body did end up breaking down in the end and she gets to be with her mother. Kind of a weird message and I do feel like suicide prevention guidelines would be not okay with this one today but it is a nice melancholy story and gives Kagura the chance to be more active against a Euphoric so it’s a good break after the mini-arc with Kagura being re-captured.

Durararax2: It’s the Penultimate episode of Durarara!! And man after seeing the first season on Adult Swim years ago and finding out there was a second season they never aired it feels weird to almost be finished with this series after so long. Mikado reveals his grand plan and it’s… kind incoherent ngl but it’s partially because he’s really torn on what he wants to do and he admits he’s not exactly playing 3D chess here he’s kinda just setting the board on fire and hoping for the best (ironic parallel to Izaya and shit inserted here) Shizuo is still chasing Izaya through the streets and Izaya despite looking half dead last episode is parkouring over cars surprisingly well for getting bunted through a building with a steel girder. It’s really kinda funny cause Shizuo’s just wielding a huge awning with the series name plastered across it and Izaya has a tiny knife and I’m just imagining the Amazing Spider-man scene where Shizuo admits tiny knives are his weakness. Kadota’s group meets back up with Erika and they get jumped by Izumii and luckily Walker is not done clowning Izumii about getting his face burned off and rigs a fire extinguisher to be a fire un-extinguisher… somehow to let Saki and Anri get out and let the rest of Kadota’s crew take down Izumii. Chikage’s still fighting Aoba’s Blue Squares but since they’re just dudes they’re getting their asses kicked. Erika warns Kasane about Takashi’s Saika Zombie army and she agrees to go stop them, meanwhile Takashi sees Shizuo and is shitting his pants and is forcing his zombies to go grab Tom to blackmail Shizuo with. Meanwhile meanwhile, lots of Toradora and other gang members pull up and turns out they’re all Dollars now because Mikado blackmailed them to join so he can flex on Masaomi and Anri that he ratio’d the whole city and he’s definitely not a boring main character kid, he’s worse. His whole plan is picking a fight with the real mafia so he’ll nuke the Dollars’ reputation and make everyone quit to not be a target of the actual fucking mob and let the Dollars turn into an urban legend that builds and spreads until it’s exactly what he wanted it to be because the only way to have a perfect group where no one does anything bad is to not have that group exist at all which is a very interesting take after all this. This is of course a power play by some of the mobsters to kill Mikado and take over his networks to carve a niche for them but thanks to Mr. Akabayashi things will be going down a somewhat more diplomatic route. Shinra and Kasane confront each other again and Kasane admits she was jealous of Celty since Shinra can love a literal mythological creature but no one’s ever loved her despite her only being POSSESED by a mythological creature. Shinra’s just like ‘bro Celty’s defined my entire life so anything you like about me is because of her’ which is true but it’s weird when you put it that way. He gives her a kind of ‘you’ll find someone’ speech but it’s nice that he also says it’s important to love someone even if it’s not a romantic partner, whether it’s a family, a friend, or yourself and as a lonely heart myself I am a sucker for these kinds of speeches. Masaomi calls Mikado out on his bullshit and luckily Mikado doesn’t know shit about firing a gun so they just get into a fistfight and Masaomi pounds his ass until Mikado reveals the gun he used wasn’t the one given to him but a tiny one he made himself that works basically by punching things to fire bullets into them. At this point Mikado is torn between his lust for excitement and his self-loathing and his plan is end it all and let god sort it out. He claims if he keeps living his endless drive for new and exciting things will make him do anything to seek out the thrill and if he is capable of shooting his best friend over it then there’s nothing he won’t do and his own drive sickens him enough where he’s going to use the finger gun on himself, end of episode.