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glowingbadger · 3 years ago

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The Sylvain and Dimitri arranged marriage stuff made me think of a claude version of it. Maybe an AU where Claude never came to fodlan and reader has to marry the prince/king of Almyra to improve countries relationships. Anyway seriously love your stuff thank you so much for the content!!

Oh hoo Anon, this is a wonderful take on the concept. Let's see what I can whip up for us~

((side note I feel like we never learn whether Almyra speaks a different language from Fodlan?? But being multi-lingual is sexy so idgaf))

((And also I used Bengali for Almyran because I have Bengali family and the language is so beautiful even though the english alphabet phonetic spellings are weird af))

Claude x Reader - Arranged Marriage

NSFW 18+ (like only towards the end tho idk)

Overall, you do what you can to stay out of the way. You'd been sent to Almyra as a symbol- a token, more than anything else. Now that you were in King Khalid's possession, very few throughout the castle paid you any particular mind. You were provided for, of course. Anything you cared to ask for was given. But you didn't speak a word of the Almyran language, and those who bothered to use what they knew of Fodlan's to communicate with you seemed to view you as a pet to be kept safe and healthy, and little else.

By week's end, there was to be a lavish banquet in honor of your union with the King- though of course, your input on the proceedings is entirely unwanted. In some ways, Almyra is quite similar to Fodlan. Court life is much the same. As you wander through the royal gardens, wondering at a range of colorful and exotic flowers you'd never heard of, let alone seen, a voice speaks smoothly behind you.

"Did you know you can actually eat the petals of this particular flower? They're very sweet."

You whirl around and nearly bump into King Khalid. You're about to stammer out an apology, but he reaches out and plucks a single white petal and holds it before your lips.

"Go on, I think you'll like it."

Whatever possesses you to eat a flower petal from this man's hand is something you'd rather leave unexamined for the time being- but he is right about the flavor. It's sweet, but not overly so, and quite pleasant.

"Hm! Yeah, it's nice," you say, then glance up at him as another thought occurs to you that you'd considered once or twice before, "You speak the language of Fodlan very well, my Lord."

"I'm flattered," he says with a disarmingly handsome smile, "and please, just Khalid. I don't think I could bear to have my own wife stand on such formality with me."

He says it so naturally, as if you'd been planning this union for years. Though, once again, he's right. This is only perhaps the dozenth time you've exchanged words, but you are wed, and you ought to get used to addressing him as your husband.

"Khalid..." you say tentatively, "Did- did you need something from me? I hope I wasn't too much trouble to find."

"Not when you find such pleasant places to hide," he replies, still wearing that easy smile, "but to be honest, I was actually hoping you'd accompany me for the day. I can finally afford to take a bit of time away from the castle, and I think you and I both would appreciate some space to breathe. What do you say?"

Correct once again. You nod, and take the arm he offers you. As he leads you out from the gardens, he points out a few more plants native to your new homeland. They're incredibly varied, each more strange and vibrant than the last. All the while, he's somehow made you feel as though you're chatting with an old friend. You leave the gardens and wander towards the area you vaguely recall to be designated for horse stables and wyvern stalls.

From there, a few things happen in sequence. Khalid asks if you're afraid of flying. He asks if you trust him to hold on to you. He helps you up onto the saddle that seems impossibly high up on its own right, and then, you're propelled into the air with a force your body has never felt before. You tense and shrink back against his chest, clinging to whatever part of the saddle you can find purchase on for dear life. Up here, it's difficult to pick up, but you feel your husband laugh behind you, then his strong arm wrap around your waist.

"Relax, I won't let anything happen to you," he says against your ear, his voice sure and steady, "I've got you."

And it takes a few miles of flying and a lot of Khalid distracting you by pointing out different buildings and shops along the streets below, but eventually, you do manage to relax- at least a little.

The castle town is positively buzzing with activity. Even from your distance in the sky above, you can see clusters of people moving around each other like fish up stream, and even hear the faint echoes of a merchant advertising goods.

"It doesn't seem at all like the Almyra we're taught about in Fodlan."

"Oh, it is," Khalid assures you with a bemused chuckle, "But it's also much more. I imagine it's the same for your people. There's a lot we can learn from one another, I think."

By the time the sun is high in the sky, you've passed the most densely settled part of town and are gliding over farmland and the occasional pocket of forest and rivers that split and cross through the earth like veins. Though, the warmer climate of Almyra will still take some getting used to, and it seems your husband considers this.

"Let's land for a bit and find some shade,"

You nod, and he directs his wyvern to begin a slow descent.

The King had thought of everything for this little day-trip, it seemed. Having evidently packed everything you'd need in the saddlebags on his steed, you now recline beside him on a plush blanket in a clearing amidst the trees. A small brook bubbles down from stone to stone in small waterfalls beside you, and the air feels positively alive with birdsong and rustling leaves, all foreign to you and all part of your new home. And so is he, you think as you glance over at the handsome figure of your husband beside you.

You'd been sitting in a comfortable quiet, munching on a couple of very dense pastries which Khalid had told you incorporated an extract of the flower you'd sampled earlier. He gives a satisfied sigh as he finishes his first and lies back on the blanket, taking in and savoring a deep breath. As you finish the last bites of your own treat, you reflect on the day thus far. You'd learned much about the locals and their daily lives by observation and Khalid's description in such a short time, and he'd even taught you a hand full of basic words and phrases in Almyran.

"Uhm, Khalid?"

He opens one eye and gives you a sideways glance.

"It was... dhonnobad, right? Thank you?"

His smile his open and warm, his eyes practically shimmering in the reflected sunlight from the nearby brook.

"Well, we'll have to work on your pronunciation, but I'm impressed you remembered," he beckons you down onto the blanket beside him, and you follow, lying on your side as he turns towards you. You're closer than you'd anticipated, even given the limited realestate of the blanket, and you internally scold yourself for being shy about something so silly- like some naive adolescent.

"Let's try a couple more words, since you've been such a diligent student."

"Okay," you say with a smile, "try me, I'll do my best."

"Hmm..." he looks around your private clearing, then gestures towards the brook and says, "Jala"

"Jala," you repeat slowly. He nods,

"Right- that's 'water'. And, uhm..." he points toward a patch of wildflowers at the edge of the brook, "Phula. That's 'flower'."

Again, you repeat as best you can, and though you know your pronunciation must be off, he's encouraging nonetheless. Then, he leans in towards you, and brings his free hand to your cheek, his fingertips brushing your skin lightly.

"Now try sundara."

"... Sundara?" you make an attempt, and you're sure you got something about that 's' sound mixed up, but Khalid just gives you a slanted smile. He doesn't clarify at first, so you ask, "What does that one mean?"

His fingers slowly weave back into your hair, and his voice is low and soothing as he replies,

"That means 'beautiful'."

Your face warms immediately, but you hardly have a moment to feel bashful about it before he presses his lips to yours, kissing you slow and deep. His movements are effortlessly sensual, pulling you towards him and sending your pulse pounding through your veins. You part your lips to him almost instinctively, and the way he uses his tongue is sparing, but oh-so effective. When he finally pulls away, your head is spinning and it's all you can do to meet his gaze.

"So... that's how they kiss in Almyra." you say, barely above a whisper. Khalid smirks and turns you onto your back, sliding an arm around your waist.

"Oh, no- there's no tradition in this, only skill."

Goddess- if they'd warned you of the King's supernatural charms, you wouldn't have believed them. But now his lips are on yours once again, and he's holding your body to his, and you can't think of anything else. Your arms drape across his shoulders, and faster than you can track, your bodies have met in a tangled, impassioned embrace. It was hard to imagine that mere kissing could feel so erotic, but something about his pace, about how his lips and hands move in tandem, about how thorough he is in exploring you, makes you feel like it would be only natural to give yourself over to him completely.

His kiss travels along your jawline up to the shell of your ear, where he nips briefly, then murmurs,

"I was hoping to apologize for how little time we've had to get to know each other before today," you bite at your bottom lip as his hand slides down to the curve of your hip, "if that would be pleasing to you, my dearest wife."

"Ye- yes..." you sigh into the open air as his lips reach your neck. The single word is all either of you need. He never stops pressing lavish kisses to your lips and neck as he pulls your clothing out of his way. By the time he's satisfied, your clothes are draped off your arms and pooling around you on the blanket- and he doesn't seem to care to remove them entirely. He has a goal in mind.

Slowly, painstakingly, he makes his way down your body. You feel him everywhere- hands tracing and memorizing your frame, breath hot across your skin as his lips spoil you with adoring kisses. Soon enough, he's kissed his way to your lower stomach, and he urges your thighs apart beneath him. You suppress the instinctive wave of embarrassment at being exposed to him for the first time- he is your husband and your King, afterall- but then, his head dips down towards your plump lower lips, and your mind goes white.

"Khalid-!" you gasp out as his tongue trails coyly up the crease of your folds. He hums contentedly, and places a disarmingly chaste kiss to the soft skin. Then, his thumbs gently spread you open for him, and your entire body burns while he takes a moment to merely admire you- your pretty little hole already wet, your clit already hard and flushed dark. When his head lowers once more, his green eyes meet yours steadily, as though to promise without words to be good to you.

And in a moment, his mouth begins to gently tease your clit, and your head tilts back on the blanket. Your hips jerk just a bit with each pass of his tongue across the sensitive bundle, and occasionally you can't hold in a gasp or whimper of pleasure. This only encourages him, of course. The more you moan and sigh, the more dedicated he becomes to your body. He presses himself more firmly to you, his lips surrounding your clit and the surrounding tender flesh, and he suckles on you, licks you, kisses you. You don't know when it happened, but your hands are at the back of his head, fists tangled in thick brown hair as he diligently works.

The unbearable tension is winding tight and anxious in your lower body- you know he'll drive you to climax before long, and the mere thought feels like falling in love. And then Khalid moves lower, and his tongue dips inside of your entrance. You gasp and unwittingly tug on his hair- but he certainly doesn't seem to mind. With a lustful groan, he presses more firmly to you, truly buried against your body as his dexterous tongue curls upward, stroking the vulnerable spot behind the nerves of your clit.

"Khalid!" this time it's nearly a scream, and you're grateful that your voice is lost in the surrounding foliage. Your thighs begin to shake, and your hands release him to instead clutch the blanket behind you. And at last, with a whimper in a voice you hardly recognize, your lower body floods with soaked warmth as your orgasm sweeps through you. Panting, twitching, you moan out for your husband over and over, until finally, the wave begins to subside, and Khalid pulls away to position himself above you on all fours.

"That's a nice expression..." he says with a grin, directing you to look at him with a hand at your chin, "I hope I'll get to see it often."

When your eyes finally refocus, you look up at him somewhat apologetically,

"I should... attend to you."

He laughs and kisses your forehead,

"There will be time for that tonight, don't you think? Once we're a bit more... put together," he says with a glance at your bare form, "we should head back to our ride. I'll bring you back to the castle, and we'll get the cooks to prepare something very 'Almyran' for you."

You nod- it probably wouldn't do for the first time with your Lord Husband to be mid-day in the woods. Though he'd certainly failed to make it seem unappealing.

"And then," he goes on, bringing a finger to trace the curve of your bottom lip, "Well, maybe we'll excuse ourselves to our bedchamber a bit early this evening, and we can continue this little... cultural exchange."

#why do these always end up so long urg #claude von reigen #fe3h #claude x reader #fire emblem smut #fire emblem x reader #fire emblem #feh #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem imagines #x reader #claude fire emblem #not sfw writing

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thinkingofsimpyboisinc · 3 years ago

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Ok so in another dsmp x reader blog that i also follow they have this Origins smp Isekai reader and I love Isekai reader stories and So- maybe one of the Simpy bois sees a mysterious object that suddenly fell from the heavens and when they go check out to see what the hell was that thing that fell down from the sky and then they found the darling

For Simpza i think he'll immediately take them home and try to treat their injuries if they have injuries from the fall and when the darling wakes up they'll be probably be freaked out cuz oh shit did they died and got sent to bleach!? (Idk much about the anime but i do know that Philza's skin is a character from bleach-) oh wait nO- it's just Philza... Wait-

And so Philza (imma call him Phil cuz he isn't a simp- yet ) is all curious to how in the name of DreamXD did they fall from the sky?

And the darling is also confused cuz last thing they remembered is a truck hitting them- oh well- that kinda explains why they got there

And so the darling spills everything to Philza on how they died and they know where they are and stuff cuz- Come on it's The Philza Minecraft the nicest person in the server how could you not trust him?

And yeah- Philza let's them stay at his place and since the darling is from a different world they might be like him and have one Canon life which makes them fragile at least in his eyes and tries to keep them from going out and stuff- (idk that's only what I thought of for Simpza if the darling was Isekaied into the Dsmp)

Ok so let's go to Simpbur

This could vary from what arc did the darling gets Isekaied tho but-! I can imagine Wilbur thinking that the darling is a fallen Angel or a gift from the heavens or a fallen star or something- and the darling would be very very hesitant to tell him information on where are they from since well- ya know

I may or may not add a second part for Simpinnit and Simpnoblade cuz it's 1 am rn and I'm tired lol- but y'all could just add in your own stuff to add in the Isekaied darling thing if I can't do the part or I'll probably just forget cuz my cousin made me play COD with her lol ^^;;

(also eyy look at me using my two Brain cells to think! :D)

-🌻

ill wrote something for simpinnit and simpnoblade cause uou got the other two covered!!! ^^

im gonna assume this happens during his second exile so all he has is dream and ghostbur. but then you fall out of the sky and he makes sure he gets to you before dream. at first your very confused and freaked out but tommy manages to calm you down. a part of him believes that you were sent down to be something good to finally happen to him. youre someone whos never supposed to leave his side.

for simpnoblade, i dont really see how it could fall into any arc. it just doesnt make sense, so lets say this is a time where he isnt at war and phil doesnt live with him. anywho, he hears you before he sees you. hes farming and hears carl neigh loudly as well as a huge thump. thinking that his horse is hurt, he goes to check it out. imagine his surprise when he sees a hole in the stables roof as well as an unconscious darling. techno originally was planning to leave you there, if not just kill you, but then his mind processes that you fell through the roof. therefore you fell from the sky. huh. he thinks that youre some sort of angel sent to make him become better, so he just sighs and bring you inside to warm you up.

#thinking of simpinnit #thinking of simpnoblade #//simpinnit #//simpnoblade #//🌻 anon #//anon thoughts #platonic tommy x reader #technoblade x reader

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purplesurveys · 2 years ago

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1501

1. What was the last thing you had the urge to do? I wanted to try this trending coffee shop in UP that mainly had an al fresco area, but the rain got so bad that I ended up on the other side of campus and got food from this burger place instead. With the change of plans, I maximized my me time and had a solo ~picnic in my car while it rained outside :) I watched a couple episodes of Run BTS while eating my burger and fries.

2. Is there anyone you feel that takes you for granted? Fortunately I do not feel treated this way by anyone.

3. What is the last thing you had a craving for? Continued from who knows. Last Sunday? KOREAN FOOD. I haven’t had it in so long. But I’m planning to get some delivered tomorrow in time for when my sister and I watch the new In the Soop series :) I’m gonna get Korean fried chicken and gimbap, and I know Nina’s favorite is tteokbokki so I’ll get that too. 4. Do you ever read the comments on social media posts? Not always but sometimes I do wanna see the general reception to certain posts.

5. What was the last thing you felt like you wasted money on? I dunno. Maybe the extra burger I bought from ^ said burger place. The cashier didn’t have change for me but she said it would help if I bought one more item, which led me to buy an extra burger just to get it over with lol. There aren’t a lot of open spots in UP so I didn’t have other options; anyway, I ended up giving it to my mom when I got back home.

6. What’s the last thing you had stuck in your head? Beyoncé’s Break My Soul.

7. What was the last “good” thing to happen to you? Getting past the megabitch that was Level 758 on In the Seom. Hahahaha.

8. Last awkward situation you were in? Probably one of my work meetings wherein nobody really knew how to end the call. Those meetings with painfully long and awkward silences will sometimes happen lol and my teammates and I will typically poke fun at it within our own group chat.

9. Think of the last time you were sick – what were you sick with? I had a fever two weekends ago and it was a side effect of my booster shot. That was...a ridiculously uncomfortable experience. I didn’t just have the chills – I also felt like my skin and my entire body was glass and it hurt to move and it hurt the moment I slightly hit anything.

10. How do you think your life would change without social media? It would just be a little quieter; I wouldn’t call it boring, just quiet and uneventful. I go through social media hiatuses from time to time anyway so I have a pretty good idea of what it’s like.

11. What was the last thing you wanted to buy, but couldn’t afford? The loft bed I’ve been envisioning all year but just never pushes through, lol.

12. What is a recipe you’d like to try to make for yourself? My grandma’s kare-kare recipe, but I know mine will never come remotely close to the way she makes it.

13. What goes through your mind when you look back at old photographs of yourself? Happy that I’m no longer there knowing that mental health ate up most, if not all, my younger years.

14. What was the subject matter of the last email you sent? Ugh, idk man. It’s definitely work, but I don’t want to check/think about that right now just to answer this. 15. Would you say your emotions are fairly stable and predictable throughout a week’s time, or not so much? Yeah, for the most part. I’ll feel waves of sadness though, and it’s been happening more frequently these days; but I’ve been better at managing those moments.

16. Are you friends with your family members on any social media platforms? Yes. I don’t hesitate from unfriending if their opinions get too annoying though.

17. How do you get your news? Social media, and occasionally, the TV.

18. How often do you drive? At least once a week, for various reasons but mostly for work or errands.

19. If you had to go (back) to school and completely change your career path, what would you choose to study/pursue? History. But I’m also fine with my current degree (journalism).

20. Are there any TV shows you constantly quote or know almost every line to? I don’t quote Friends all that much but I do have so many episodes memorized.

21. What do you think about lizards? I don’t have a strong opinion on them.

22. Is there anything that people assume about you that isn’t true, and that you find very irritating? When surveys ask me about stuff that can only be answered by someone who lives in the US or on the other side of the world. Like questions about Thanksgiving, Walmart, winter, etc.

23. How would you rate your “detective” skills? Like on social media? Probably an 8. I’m pretty good, but Angela is so much better than I am lol she can find anyone in a matter of minutes.

24. Have you ever done consumer testing (testing products before they come out on the market)? If not, would you ever want to? Yeah. That’ll sometimes come out in my work, especially with accounts that involve food.

25. How do you feel if you are late arriving to meet someone? How about if someone is late meeting you? If it’s someone I don’t know all that well, I’d find it embarrassing. I’m usually late when meeting up with friends though – only because I know they’d end up being late too hahaha. Filipino time does that.

#survey #surveys

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krreader · 5 years ago

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tears of gold.

pairing: min yoongi x reader fandom: bts warnings: language ; no happy ending genre: angst word count: 1.9k+

summary: one moment. one decision. that’s all it took to ruin his future. yoongi always thought that if that ever happened it would have something to do with his career.. but no.. his career was fine. the rest of his life was what was broken now.

a/n: idk man, every time it’s a vague angst request like this I go off. not sure if that’s good or bad lol. anyways, I really hope you like it bb. (+ title inspired by this beauty)

Despite him sitting right next to you on the bed, you've never felt more alone in your life than right now.

Despite him having told you that he loved you just last night, you've never felt more unloved than right now.

Despite him wanting you to trust him completely, you've never felt more backstabbed by him than right now.

“You have to understand me, (Y/N),” is what he said, like that's what would make any of this any better, “How am I supposed to do this right now? Or.. anytime soon? I'm going on tour in less than a month and won't be back for a while and then when I'm finally back, I'll maybe have a break for a week or two before going back to work. How do you.. expect me to..-” Yoongi let out a frustrated sigh and put his face in his hands, his elbows on his knees.

You haven't said a word during all this, just looked at him in disbelief, disappointment, frustration.. sadness.

This wasn't how you had imagined your life to go either, this wasn't on your agenda anytime soon either, but it had happened and now you had to deal with the consequences.

Both of you.

The positive pregnancy test in your shaking hands was the proof of that.

“I'm sorry,” he finally said again and straightened his back as he shook his head, “I can't do it.”

The chances of becoming pregnant when taking the pill perfectly were so slim.. so why did it have to happen to him and you? Why did it have to happen to someone who really couldn't handle a child right now, who couldn't be a father and.. quite frankly.. didn't want to be a father right now.

But Yoongi was selfish in this moment and he didn't even realize it.

All he thought about was the child and himself.

He not once thought about you. About what this meant for you.

Because he wasn't the only one with a career.

You had worked your ass off these last years to achieve your goals and dreams and were finally at a point in life that you were happy with.. well.. everything. A stable job, a stable – or at least you thought – relationship and amazing chances of your life getting even better with the years to come.

But none of that seemed to matter to him, in that moment, he only cared about himself.

Suddenly, he got up and wanted to make his way out of your bedroom like it was easy for him to walk away from this.

However, he stopped when you finally spoke, for the first time since you told him you were expecting his baby.

“You walk out of this door, Yoongi, I'm never going to give you a second chance. You leave me alone with this child and I promise you, you will never be a father for this baby,” your hands trembled, but your voice was firm because you meant it. You were scared shitless, but you’d rather be raising this child on your own than with someone who didn’t want it in the first place.

You had hoped this little speech might change his mind.. after all, you've been with each other for almost four years now and he had more often than not told you that he wanted this to last forever.

But the idea of a child right then and there scared him so much that he just ignored your words, maybe even thought you weren’t serious, but god, you were.

“I'm sorry,” he repeated once again, looking at you from over his shoulder, “I really am,” his voice broke.

And then he left.

And all you could do was stare after the closed door before you completely broke down, allowing yourself to be vulnerable once he was gone and lying back down on your bed, clutching the pregnancy test against your chest while tears streamed down your cheek.

You were alone in this.

Completely and utterly alone.

And that scared the living shit out of you, even if you wanted and tried to be strong.

Single mother before the baby was even born.. wonderful.

Yoongi watched the rain drops run down the window of the car as they were driving to the venue, his fingertips tracing them like he was mesmerized by them, lost in his own little world in that moment

“So, hyung,” Jimin said with a huge smile, leaning forward a little to talk to the driver, “I heard your wife had her baby?”

Yoongi instantly looked up, ripped from his daydream when he heard that sentence.

“Yeah,” the driver grinned happily from ear to ear, like he was the proudest man on this planet. It hurt Yoongi. Badly, “It's a girl! Can you believe it? I have a baby girl now!”

Everyone in the car congratulated him, told him how happy they were for him..

..all but Yoongi.

He could just stare at the driver through the rear-view mirror, before looking down at his phone and opening his KakaoTalk, scrolling down until he could find your chat.

He gulped down hard as he scrolled up and up and up.. only to read his own messages again like so many days before.

“Please talk to me, (Y/N). I know I made a mistake..”

“Can you please call me? Just call me, whenever you can.”

“Can you at least tell me if you and the baby are okay? Please..”

“I regret it.. so much, (Y/N). If I could turn back time, I would. I shouldn't have left you alone, I shouldn't have abandoned you. I'm sorry..”

“You moved.. I went to your place, but your landlord said you moved. Can you please tell me your new address? I want to send you some stuff.. that's the least I can do. Money, clothes, whatever you need..”

“It’s been nine months now.. please say something, (Y/N). Tell me you’re both okay..”

None of these were ever answered or read and they were only a few of the thousand that he had sent over the course of the last year.

At this point, he knew that he was a father too.. but nobody else knew that.

He hadn't told any of his members, anyone from his company or anyone from his family.

Why?

Because he was ashamed of himself.

Ashamed of how he just left you in a moment such as this one, how he completely spit on the relationship and trust that you had built in all these years and how he just didn’t take responsibility for something that he had a part in as well.

If he told anyone, especially his parents, they’d never call him their son again.

“I hope I'll be a dad too eventually,” Namjoon said with a happy smile as he looked at Yoongi, “What about you, hyung? You never really talk about having kids..”

Yoongi quickly turned his phone around, then looked at Namjoon, only to open and close his mouth again.

What answer should he even give him?

No, he had never really thought about having kids, not before you told him that you were pregnant. Then, right after, he had thought he had done the right choice. He truly thought that he didn't want to have children. But the more time passed, the more he yearned for that life. The more he wished he had done things differently.. if so, he would now have a wife and child at home waiting for him.

Instead, he'd come home from this world tour to an empty house full of regrets.

A grim future..

“We're here.. come on boys, let's go,” the manager said once the car stopped, Yoongi being eternally grateful for the arrival, so that he didn't have to answer Namjoon's question.

Hoseok had watched the conversation quietly from the back of the car, his eyes never leaving Yoongi's back as he walked into the venue with slumped shoulders.

Everyone else was running inside because of the rain but him.

He got completely soaked, yet it seemed like he didn't even care, like he didn't even process it. Like his mind was somewhere else completely.

Hoseok didn't know why now, why today, but maybe it was the conversation with the driver that made him think about the whole thing again.

The thing that Yoongi thought nobody knew about.

“Hyung.. can we talk?” Yoongi looked up at Hoseok with furrowed brows, but then got out of the make-up chair and followed the younger member.

He led him into an empty room, a meeting room from the looks of it and then closed the door behind him once Yoongi was inside.

“Sit.”

“What is this?” Yoongi snorted, “Whatever it is you want to say, we could have just talked in front of the others.”

Nothing had happened between Hoseok and Yoongi, so he must have assumed that whatever it was that Hoseok wanted to say to him wouldn’t be serious.

When Yoongi didn't want to sit, Hoseok just leaned against the table and crossed his arms in front of his chest, lowering his head a little, “I didn't know whether or not I should tell you about this in the first place, since I figured that it was none of my business, but I see you with this look on this face more and more so.. I need to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

Hoseok looked out the window for a moment, then he looked into Yoongi's eyes, “I ran into (Y/N) right before we left for tour.”

Yoongi instantly froze.

Thousands of thoughts and questions shot into his mind. Why did he see you? Did he talk to you? Did you two meet up? Did he see the baby?

“Imagine how surprised I was when she stood there with a baby stroller. You never told us why you two broke up, so I just imagined that maybe you didn't want to tell us about it because you were ashamed. When I saw her with the baby I thought she cheated and ended up pregnant,” Hoseok cocked his head to the side, “But you’ve been acting weird and it all started when you two broke up. You see a child and you get all sad, you hear someone mention their child, you get lost in thought. So, hyung.. be honest,” Hoseok took a step forward, then another, getting so close that Yoongi had to lower his head because of how ashamed he became, “Fuck.. it’s your baby, isn’t it?”

Yoongi's jaw began to clench, suddenly feeling like Hoseok was putting him on the spot, like he was blaming him just like Yoongi was blaming himself.

“Yeah.. I figured. Makes sense now.. why you were so depressed again after you’ve worked so hard on overcoming it. Why you felt so bad about yourself. Why you become sad every time you see a child. Jesus, hyung..”

Hoseok didn't know what else to say to him, he was so disappointed in him that he would do this to you that he just wanted to leave right then and there. It was almost as if looking at him repulsed him.

But Yoongi had one question before he could do so.

“Is it.. a boy or a girl?” his eyes were wide when he turned around to look at Hoseok.

“A girl. It's a girl,” he said without looking at him.

But before his hand could even reach the handle, the door got opened.

“There you are,” their manager was suddenly standing in the door way, looking completely out of breath, “What the hell are you doing in here? We need to get you ready, come on!”

Yoongi didn't have a lot of time to think about it after that, make-up and hair took a while and before he knew it, he was already on stage again, performing in front of thousands like he usually did.

He was keeping it together and was actually rather doing a good job at it because his mind couldn’t focus on what it wanted to focus on.

He was caught up in the screams and cheers and for a moment it seemed like everything was fine again.

But once the concert was over and once they started waving their goodbye's to ARMY's and his eyes fell onto Hoseok, it all came flooding back.

“A girl. It's a girl,” it echoed in his ears.

Yoongi had a daughter. A beautiful baby girl that he didn’t know anything about. Was she healthy? What eye color did she have? Did she have a lot of hair? Was she eating enough? Sleeping enough?

And what about you? Were you okay? Did you manage with her on your own? Were you happy nowadays? Stressed or anxious?

Yoongi had no answer to these questions, because he abandoned both of you when he had the chance to still be with you.

And once again, he blamed himself for everything.

And then in front of hundreds of thousands, he broke down. Fully. He was on his knees, sobbing his eyes out and wishing he could turn back time.

He wished he could change how he had reacted. That he had just pulled you close when you were so scared about the baby and told you that everything would be okay and that you'd be in this together. That he’d be by your side throughout everything and that whatever obstacles you would face, you would face together.

He wished he had been there when you had gone into labor and that he could have held his newborn daughter. He wished he had been able to smile at you and tell you that he loved you and was proud of you.

But this wasn’t a Disney movie and wishes didn’t suddenly become true just because you really wanted them to.

This was reality.

And the reality was that he’d never get a second chance.

He fucked up.. and there was no going back.

#bts imagine #bts x reader #min yoongi x reader #suga x reader #min yoongi imagine #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #suga imagine #bangtan boys #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #min yoongi #suga #yoongi #reader #requests

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koreanmadeingreece · 4 years ago

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Why, why, why (10)

University student!Yuta x reader

Genre: slight enemies to lovers au, a bit of angst, a lot of fluff, and several mixups

Summary: You just got into uni and decided to move in with your childhood friend!Taeyong at the city where you are going to study. As you’re about to start your new, adult life, you meet his friends, and you realize that not everyone likes you. Nakamoto Yuta in particular almost seems like he hates you.

A/N: In this fic, Jonghyun from NU’EST appears for a while (just to avoid confusion). Also we’re so close to the end guyyyyys!!!!

Warnings: Some making out hiiihihihiihihi (also I think some fu and shi words?)

Word count: 1.7K

Part 10/11 (I think) First / Previous / Next

Taglist: @melitadala @chxotickpoptrash @aiforyuu @fineapplehoe (let me know if you’d like to be tagged!) (also idk a friend informed me that my tags weren't working so I'm redoing all of them in all my posts sorry about thaaat)

During the next few days, you barely went to your classes. You didn’t want to see anyone. You didn’t even spend much time with Taeyong, as he reminded you of what had happened. You took a few days to yourself, just to let yourself calm down after the storm. After about a week, you were ready to come back in touch with the rest of the world.

On Monday, first thing in the morning, you stopped by the café where Jonghyun worked, and got your regular coffee. By some sort of miracle, there wasn’t much work, so he was able to steal a few minutes for you.

“Jonghyun,” you said.

“Yeah,” he replied, noticing how you got all serious.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For disappearing this week.”

“It’s okay. It happens. I just need you to be okay and to tell me if there’s anything I can do to help.” He was reassuring towards you, even though you had practically ghosted him all this time. Sure, you texted a few times, but you were never actually there.

“Can you be any more perfect than you already are?” you joked.

“Only when I’m with you.”

It was true that you were dating for almost three months and things had started to get more serious as time went by. For the next few weeks, you tried to spend more time with him, inviting him over to your house when you knew Taeyong wouldn’t be there. Thankfully for you, he had a busy schedule as a third year. Sometimes you knew he went out on purpose, just to leave the house for you. He was the perfect friend.

At the same time, you had started seeing Yuta less and less. You tried not to be home when you knew he’d be there but tried not to be entirely rude and saw him every now and then at uni or sometimes you stopped by when the guys were out. You kept your distance, to keep things from going the wrong way.

You knew that Yuta probably wondered why you stopped seeing him so suddenly. You trusted that it would be forgotten as time went by, and that you’d eventually find a way to casually coexist around each other without fighting or disrupting your well-being. Because that’s what it was, a disruption. Before you even came, he was fine, and you were too. Before you decided to get to know him, things were quiet. Sure, you fought sometimes, but nothing happened.

You had fucked up, and you knew it pretty well. Sometimes you’d see Yuta around uni, talking to his friends or heading to a class, and he’d steal glances from you. He’d slow down his walk to see if you’d talk to him, but you rarely did. You noticed how every time he waited for you, but you never gave him any attention. You hated to do this. You didn’t want to avoid him either. But, with the way things had turned out, you didn’t have any choice.

A few days later, you finished class earlier than usual and found Jonghyun at uni. His classes were over for the day, and you decided to spend some time together. You invited him over, as you knew Taeyong had at least one more class before he headed home. In that way, you’d spend about three hours alone and you’d have the house to yourselves. Both of you wanted some alone time, considering that your relationship was more stable than ever. Jonghyun was happy to follow you home. You opened the windows to get some light in and brought him a cup of his favorite tea. You sat for a while, discussing how your day was, when he decided to put some music on. It was a relaxing playlist with artists that both of you liked.

You sat next to each other on the couch, your legs on top of his lap. When his hands started caressing your legs, you knew it was time for more. In a quick movement, you climbed on top of him, spreading your legs on each of his sides. You placed your lips against his, slowly luring him into your mood.

“Wait, what about Taeyong?” he asked, as you were in the living room.

“His classes end at 8PM. Don’t worry about it.” You continued kissing him and started to grind on his crotch.

He was eager to respond, slowly starting to suck your neck. “I want you, Y/N.” You loved how his voice sounded when he whispered to you. You felt wanted, desired.

You didn’t waste any time and unbuttoned his shirt, seeing his bare body underneath you. You loved the sight of him desperately wanting you, panting from the excitement. You let him take off your shirt as well, and briefly got up to take off your pants as well, staying in your underwear. You sat on top of him again, somehow embarrassed by the way he was looking at you. He glided his hand from your chest to your stomach, admiring how you looked, then went lower, getting it inside your panties. You wanted him, and moaned his name as his body touched yours, his fingers inside you. His lips went from your neck to your chest, sucking your skin. You were ready, and you wanted him. For the next few seconds, all you wanted was him.

~ ☼ ~

Taeyong decided to skip his last class and head home early to rest. “Yuta, are you coming?”

“Sure.” And so, the guys headed home in Yuta’s car, since Taeyong asked him to help with some stuff he needed to carry. Yuta parked in front of the house and got out of the house to help Taeyong.

“I’ll bring the stuff. Can you go unlock the door for me?” Taeyong asked, giving Yuta the keys.

Yuta went ahead and unlocked the entrance door, then went up to your apartment. When he realized what was going on in the living room, it was too late.

~ ☼ ~

You moaned Jonghyun’s name, as his fingers worked magic inside you.

“Y/N are those-” Jonghyun had heard the keys on the door, but the damage was already done. Yuta had walked in, seeing you on top of Jonghyun, him sucking your breasts. He froze. He looked you dead in the eye for a second that seemed like eternity, and walked out of the door, closing it behind him. You immediately got up and put your clothes back on, leaving Jonghyun alone to get dressed too. You stormed out of your apartment, only taking your keys with you.

“Taeyong,” you said as you saw him at the entrance, “where’s Yuta?”

“Y/N what happened? I sent him to help me, and he came back running. He didn’t take his car. I think he left.”

“Fuck, Taeyong.” You went towards the street to find him, but he had already disappeared.

“Y/N, tell me.” Taeyong approached you.

“I screwed up. He saw us, Taeyong.”

“You mean, like, walked in on you?” he asked.

“Yeah. I thought you’d finish at 8. Fuck. I should have asked.”

“Whatever’s done is done now. Go to Jonghyun and I’ll find him, don’t worry,” Taeyong said, giving you his stuff. At that moment, you knew you’d have to give Jonghyun an explanation. You didn’t know what to say though. Why did you storm out? Why did Yuta run off and why did you chase him? Suddenly, it hit you. You were wrong all this time. Jonghyun wasn’t the one who you wanted to spend more time with. Jonghyun wasn’t the man you actually wanted.

You went back inside, determined to clear it all up. It was your fault for not seeing this earlier anyway. “Jonghyun, I need to talk to you.”

“I was wondering how long it’d take you. Apparently around three months.”

“What?” you asked, surprised.

“At first I didn’t know, I noticed it at the movie night, but I wasn’t sure.” He paused. “I brushed it off. I thought I was just misreading things. When you stormed out right now, that couldn’t be my misinterpretation.” He grabbed his jacket and headed to the door.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“It was amazing while it lasted.”

“Yes, it was. You are perfect, Jonghyun, but I’m not the one you should be with.”

He smiled at you. “I know. I just would have appreciated it if you had told me sooner.” He was right, and he had every reason to hate you.

“I didn’t know myself.”

“More like you didn’t want to admit it.”

“Yeah, that too.” You paused. “I’m sorry. Again.”

“Yeah.” With that word, he left you alone in the living room. You hoped he’d called you names, cursed at you, but he didn’t. That was partly the reason you were more certain than ever about your choices. You weren’t madly in love with each other, and no matter how perfect your relationship was, you couldn’t have stayed together for much longer.

You grabbed your phone. You called him, but he wasn’t answering. You called Taeyong. “Where are you?”

“I went over to Yuta’s. He’s not here.”

“Fuck. I called him and he’s not answering either.”

“I know. I called him too. Don’t call him for a while, and maybe he’ll reach out to me. I’m coming back in a few minutes.”

Taeyong opened the door and found you crying on the couch, waiting for him. “I fucked up, Taeyong.”

“No, don’t cry. We’ll find him and we’ll settle it, okay?” he wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m a horrible person. And stupid. It was him I liked all along and I blew my chance.” You leaned on his shoulder and stayed like this until you calmed down.

The next morning found both of you sleeping together on your bed, just so you had company to get through the night. You opened your eyes, your head hurt from all the tears you shed the previous day, and you knew that Yuta would be in a similar state if not worse. You were determined to end this once and for all.

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introverted-explorer · 4 years ago

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Will You Marry Me (For Financial Aid)

Summary:

The fake dating/real feelings college au no one asked for. Based on that text exchange between two friends in college wanting a better FAFSA Application.

Notes: Major credit to @labelma (AKA Leilah) for betaing this and for encouraging me to post it.

I wrote this about a year ago and got distracted by life. Decided I would put it out into the world for other people to enjoy as a little birthday present for myself, enjoy!

David - italicized Patrick - bold Stevie - both

You wouldn’t expect David Rose to be friends with someone like Patrick Brewer. Not only was he a business major, but also a huge sports fan and equally versed in the arts, which David certainly didn’t mind. Patrick was liked by everyone he met and no one really understood how he could be friends with someone as abrasive and standoffish as David. And somehow they were best friends.

Stevie simultaneously regrets, is overly enthused, and is extremely amused by their friendship and takes full credit for the dynamic of their tiny but mighty friend group. She and David had met during orientation their freshman year of college, bonding over their shared disdain for their overly peppy orientation leaders. They quickly became inseparable, spending the majority of their down time together. A few weeks into school Stevie showed up with this average looking guy she had met in her Intro to Business course to their weekly dinner. Patrick had woven his way into their little duo with a few little teasing jabs at David to which David made complaints of an ‘unbalanced social dynamic’ but loved nonetheless.

Nothing has really changed after two years of friendship. They would do pretty much everything together; homework, meals, vacations (thanks to David’s parents), you name it, they were probably doing it together. Even a few classes, obviously with a lot of pushing on Stevie and Patrick’s end and reluctance on David’s. David mostly stuck to his art classes but was convinced that a few business classes would help if he ever wanted to manage a gallery, good business acumen ran in the family after all.

David came from money, but that money was almost never of conversation and often forgotten all together. It only came up when he casually name dropped or mentioned his designer and high end products. That was until they lost it all. Thankfully school and his apartment were already paid for through the year but it left David questioning his very near future plans. He worried if he would be able to finish out his schooling and where he would live once school was over. By some small miracle, his parents and younger sister found themselves moved to a town that they had bought as a joke at the pinnacle of his family’s financial success. Even better was the fact they were now living in the motel that Stevie’s family owned.

After a long night of anxiety and research on financial aid for the next year, he discovered there were certain situations in which he could receive more aid. David never had to worry about filling out a FAFSA application when he still had money, it was never an issue if he received aid or not, but now it was the most important thing for his life to stay somewhat stable. His anxiety got the better of him and decided to decompress with the little bit of the weed he had left.

Once he got a nice buzz going, he grabbed his phone to come up with a plan to get some of that aid. His finger hovered over his conversations with Patrick and Stevie. He thought Stevie would go along with his plan but would ridicule him to no end and decided that Patrick was probably the safer bet in this particular scenario.

Can you marry me?

The rational part of his brain told him Patrick was likely at one of his many clubs or doing homework or maybe even doing something only good people do. But the rational part of his brain was not steering the ship. The part in control kept yelling at him that Patrick was mad at him for coming on like that and he had ruined the friendship with just four words.

I just looked at the financial aid website and it said I cannot get any aid except for unsubsidized loans unless I have a child, get married or turn 24, so I have to get married

It didn’t take long for Patrick to respond. He would do pretty much anything for his friends and it’s not like it was actually a real marriage and could benefit himself.

Yeah, okay. I’ll marry you. I need a better fafsa application too

That certainly wasn’t the response David had expected and certainly not that fast. David was used to people letting him down even though Patrick, and more often than not Stevie, had proven that people won’t always do that.

Wait. Seriously?

Would you really do it?

I’m going to do actual research on this.

‘After I sober’ up David said to his phone after he sent that final text.

Are we doing this?

It would have to happen like lightning fast. I’ve never had to do one of those applications aren’t they due soon?

Patrick knew David was likely either high or drunk, he hadn’t been dealing with the complete upheaval of his life all that well, and figured he would do all of the specific research as he enjoyed it and was painfully aware of the application and financial aid process. He felt the tiniest bit of disbelief pass through his brain as he started looking into this particular part of the process. Whether this was the idea of marrying David or marrying David to benefit their financial aid packages. He never really thought of his best friend like that before but it felt like a tiny part of his brain was saying this was a good thing. He shut that voice down and focused on his research instead.

Okay.

We’d need to get a marriage license which can be up to $300 depending on where we get it, and then we need to file for a marriage certificate.

I’m an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate

During all of the craziness that had been the last hour and asking Patrick to marry him, he totally forgot that Stevie was coming over.

“David?” she called out opening the door and approached his bedroom.

“You smoked without me? You suck.”

David stilled. He had his phone still in his hand and a small smile on his face. As soon as he saw Stevie in the doorway his smile twisted to the side of his face.

“David.”

“Stevie.”

“You never smile like that. What bit of celebrity gossip are you hiding on your phone?” She asked, grabbing the phone from his hands with little protest as David’s reaction time was slowed by his now depleting high.

“What is this?” She paused to read the conversation. “You’re marrying Patrick? And for financial aid? I don’t know if I should be offended you didn’t ask me or not.”

“I thought about it! I thought you would make fun of me for it. I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine. I’m ordained by the way.”

David gave her a confused look questioning her random fact.

“I was bored in high school one day and did it online after I finished the assignment we were doing. It took like 15 minutes and now I can marry people.” She shrugged it off as if it were nothing.

“And you’re telling me this because..” David trailed off trying to follow the conversation.

“Because I can marry you and Patrick if you need me to.”

Finally David was caught up on the conversation. He took his phone back from Stevie wanting to tell Patrick. He couldn’t help the smile that came back on his face as hard as he tried to hide it.

Stevie’s ordained and said she can marry us. So one problem down!

“I like this for you.”

“Like what? There’s nothing to like!” David shrieked.

David went back to his laptop to do further research into the actual benefits of marrying Patrick. Stevie nodded and pulled out her own phone. She figured if David was going to be preoccupied she could at least have some fun.

So I hear you’re going to marry David?

And you’re officiating?

You’re not mad he asked me and not you right? I don't want this to put a strain on our friendship.

Stevie laughed. She had secretly hoped they would end up together. She loved David but she couldn’t ever marry him, not even a staged marriage.

I may have offered my services, yes.

And absolutely not. He’s all yours.

The extra financial aid would have been nice but I could never marry David.

Fake marry.

Okay, fine. Fake marry. Either way I am NOT interested.

She looked back up to see David’s face now buried in his phone. He had to be texting Patrick.

It’s possible that I can get fafsa to pay for an entire apartment!

Where you would live with me obviously

David stopped and looked up at Stevie nervously.

“I think I just asked Patrick to move in with me.”

I mean only if you want. You have no obligations to do that.

You probably don’t. I mean bringing home a girl would be weird or whatever.

Patrick had left his phone playing music on the counter as he made himself dinner. He didn’t think to check it until he was back in front of his computer with his dinner. He opened his messages to see four new messages from David.

He can’t say he’s not surprised to see David spiraling after those first two messages. He still never understood why David thought Patrick would reject him as he had never shown signs of that during their friendship. He felt a certain sadness for his best friend.

Of course I’d live with you.

The thought of living with David didn’t scare him as much as it should. He knows David is high maintenance. He’s shared spaces with him during vacations. It’s not really something that bothers him. If anything he finds David endearing, especially when he’s a little frazzled making this encounter all the more fun.

Think they would go for a nice little two bedroom apartment?

The relief David feels seeing that first response doesn’t last long. He doesn’t know why he feels a sense of sadness when Patrick mentions a two bedroom. They’re friends. A couple of bros getting married. Just for financial aid purposes.

Do you think we could convince them for two baths? I’ve shared a bathroom with you. You don’t have much but what you do is wildly incorrect and I’d rather not ruin our friendship with that.

Marriage is a compromise David. You’ll just have to deal with my incorrect bathroom products.

We’re really doing this.

Yes we are.

Can we talk more about this tomorrow? I need to get some work done tonight.

We can talk about this whenever you want.

Just

Preferably not before 10 AM.

Never. I know you David. Lunch after my class tomorrow? Just us?

Stevie hates that we’re ditching her.

But, yes. Lunch sounds great.

“So you’re marrying Patrick and ditching me to go on dates with him?” Stevie remarked after reading their exchange.

David seemed shocked but hummed shaking his head in some sort of hybrid of no and yes. He stood up and shook his arms out. Stevie knew he was getting flustered proving that this might just be more than just an easy way to get some help with tuition.

#david x patrick #schitt's creek #first fic #there is a second chapter to this #they sorta go on a date?#let me know if I should post it

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tellywoodtrash · 4 years ago

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immj2 13 + 14.11.20 lbs

13.11.20

i’m just gonna skim through this one, coz i don’t wanna dwell on the death and maatam and all.

hahahahahahahahaha riddhima is screaming at god for letting this happen and kabir is like “bhagwaan ko beech mein kyun laa rahi ho, mujhe bhi toh credit do!” i truly love this crazyass fucker.

riddhima continuing to scream at god about vansh jissne “KOI KABHI BURA KAAM NAHI KIYA HAI” ?!?!?!!?!?!?!? sis what the fuck???? first of all, none of us over the age of like...... 7, are truly sinless. and THIS MAN PARALYZED AND THREATENED TO KILL YOU MULTIPLE TIMES, FFS.

KABIR IS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I AM KABIR

now she trying to throw herself off the cliff and for some reason i cannot understand, kabir is holding her back????? literally why, my bro????? let her die, saaari musibatein khatam. ugh, you still have some kinda residual feelings for her from your not-that-kameena days, don’t you?

asalkdjaldkjsaldkjsalkdjl riddhima ke andar OG prerna ka bhoot chadh gaya, she hitting kabir with danda the way Mother India did dhulaayi of yudi in the disco (still one of the most iconic scenes of tellywood for me, istg)

dude, idk if it’s just ego waale possesive issues or he still has feelings for her, but kabir def wants riddhima to be “his girl”. even after danda beating he’s trying to help her as she stumbles around in sadma.

anyway she sauntered off rubbing that stupid muffler of vansh’s on her face. SIS YOU GONNA BREAK OUT IF YOU RUB SUCH GANDA KAPDA ON YOUR FACE.

5 min of flashbacks of vansh. fwding.

family (dadi, chanchal, and all the rest of the riff-raff) has come back home and ghar is all dark.

weird how angre is also with them. i woulda thought he’d be on whatever tasks vansh set him on, instead of doing mandir yatras with these assholes.

mummy has decided to break news in most non-tactful way ever. wearing all white and has set up photu with haar already.

yeah, requisite screaming and crying blah blah. nahi dekhna.

i’m only here for ishani and angre’s reactions. bechaare look genuinely devastated. i mean dadi does too, but bohut hi zyaaaada overdramatic and i’m getting uncomfortable.

riddhima has returned.

to her surprise everyone already knows. zara dimaag lagao behen, how they even found out before you reached??? (ok no i understand you’re numb from trauma rn and can’t think of all this, but i hope your idiot brain thinks of it later.)

WHY THE FUCK IS DADI YELLING AT RIDDHIMA KI TERE HOTE HUE KAISE HUA YEHHHHHH, WHO THE FUCK IS SHE TO TAALOFY GIANT COSMIC DECISIONS LIKE LIFE AND DEATH????? isse apni khud ki jaan nahi sambhali jaati, let alone someone else’s.

holy shit she’s actually saying, “tu toh uski dhaal thi, uske liye tuney goli khaayi thi, iss baar kaise chook gayi????” MAN, FAMILIES OF DESI BOYS REALLY BE FUCKIN WILDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WITH THEIR EXPECTATIONS FROM BAHUS. one time she took a bullet for him wasn’t enough????? you want her to actually fucking die before something happens to him. god forgive me but i really wanna slap this dadi rn.

mummy cooking up some fucking ridiculousssssss story about gunde in the house and how vansh was chasing them and gaadi khaayi mein gir gayi and god knows whatttt

ok she’s saying siya got the call about it and she was running down the stairs while in shock and now whoopsie daisy, she’s in critical condition (probably in a coma or some shit.)

aryan looks sad at the siya news. thank god this mummy ka niyana has basic consideration for someone else other than himself and his mother.

mummy ka rona dhona drama fwding.

ishani is now yelling at angre. which..... kinda deserved. you’re his safety person dude.

ok too much crying. fwding.

riddhima asking mummy why you lie to family about how he died. mummy like how tf i tell them police dragged him out and he died in an encounter for trying to escape. it’s better for them to not know the truth. which.............. ok fair, but coming from this shadyassss woman......

god this mummy ka ainvayi praising vansh waala scene is going on too long. fwding.

riddhima back to room. some more flashbacks. OUFF. FWDING.

obligatory kamre ka tod-phod scene. FWDING!!!!!!!!!!

fell asleep crying and holding one of his coats.

LMAO ISHANI KA MANN NAHI BHARAA GHAR KE ITNE CASUALTIES SE............ SHE’S LIKE WHAT’S ONE MORE????

dadi slapping ishani for doing what any one of us would do, honestly, so.... whatever. fuck off dadi.

ishani telling 100% truth ki jabse this useless b has entered my bhai’s life, his problems have been never ending, i’m fucking sureeeeeeeeee she’s the reason he’s dead. the only voice of reason in this show, truly.

dadi all WOH EK HAADSAAAA THAAAA, NOONE CAN CONTROLLLL THOSEEEE, oh yeah, not the sentiment that you were expressing to riddhima when she walked in, you stupid old bat. whatever, i’m fwding this scene.

kabir and mishra have entered house. coz they are awwal no. ke sadists. need to get off on watching this family cry and suffer.

LMAO THE LOOK RIDDHIMA GAVE KABIR. HE’S LEGIT SCARED OF HER.

angre bhi staring daggers at kabir. chal hatt, i know for sure you’re behind saving vansh and stashing him somewhere to crawl out whenever it’s the right time.

body nahi mili blah blah blah

lol this one’s face clearly says milegi bhi kaise, main tum logon ki tarah nikamma nahi hoon. i have 16% success rate. it’s low but it’s more than y’all 0%.

lmaoooooo oh DOW DIGGY DIGGY DOW DIGGY DOW DOW, i love you sooooooooo much.

ALSO WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY TO MAAROFY THE PUN KI “MAINE VANSH KE VANSH KO MITAAAAA DIYAAAAAAAA” severely disappointed in you, kabir.

yup. appropriate response. to just generally all the men in your life.

lmao riddhima like you arrested vansh ONLY COZ I LOVEDDDDDDD HIMMMMMMMMMMMM. lol the amount of self delusion. sis, his feelings for vansh were faaaaaaar more powerful and intense than anything he ever felt for your dumb ass.

kabir saying there’s nothing left for you here, why don’t you come back to me and lmao............... he tried.

“riddhima nahi. riddhima vansh raisinghania.”

ok whatever you say, sis. i’m just grateful to god this manhoos episode is finally over.

———————————————————————

14.11.20

redo of last scene.

lmao kabir is like I HATED VANSH WAAAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOUR DUMB ASS FELL FOR HIM. YEAH I DON’T LIKE THAT YOU PICKED HIM OVER ME, BUT I’M NOT SO BAD THAT I’D TAKE REVENGE FROM HIM FOR THAT. yeah, dude. he just wanted his money; not youuuuuu. like..... chillll. kahaan se aata hai logon ko itnaaaaa confidence khud pe???

kabir saying i had proof vansh killed ragini, i found his watch there next to the body. she’s like i had it, i took it to repair it, and ragini died in front of me. vansh wasn’t anywhere near there.

lmao she’s back to shoving him around. what an annoying bitch she is.

kabir like did you SEE who shot ragini? no????????? then it could very well have been vansh, right????? plus i got that footage from 3 years ago.

she’s like hein hein heinnnnn where you get it from when i burnt that chip????????? OH NOW SHE’S USING HER BRAINNNNN. SO WAS VANSH THE ONE RENDERING HER SO FUCKING STUPID? NOW HE’S NOT ADDLING HER BRAIN WITH LUST HORMONES, HER 3 BRAIN CELLS ARE FINALLY WORKING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! take this as proof, ladies. MEN MAKE YOU FUCKING DUMB AS SHIT BY JUST MAKING YOU BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS THEM.

kabir saying someone from inside the house probably saved it and sent it. and that vansh made all this happen by taking mishra’s gunnnn and forcing them to take the sunsaaaan paaath and he tried to runnn and blah blah blah.

again he’s asking her to come be with him and she’s like gtfo i don’t wanna see your cuteass face anymore, you’re dead to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok she didn’t say the cute bit, i did. i think y’all already knew that. but how to resist??? he sho cute!!!!!!

mishra like this b kuch zyaada nahi bol gayi????

“dil par jo chot lagti hai, woh nazar nahi aati, but ghaav bohut gehra hota hai. yeh dard maine bhi mehsoos kiya tha, jab riddhima mujhe chod ke chali gayi thi vansh ke paas.” heinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn? now he suddenly is/was truly in love with her again???? bhai, tu decide karle, ki if she’s just a pawn to you or something more. ainvayi jhool raha hai idhar udhar.

mishra like, ok whatever, but where vansh’s body tho???

clearly not him. the head shape alllllll different.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS THEY FINALLY PUT RRAHUL’S FINE ASS IN JEANS!!!!!!

again, no wedding ring. dead body is not vansh.

“bhagwaan jaane kahaan chali gayi uski laash.” lmao i really loled the way he delivered the line. i really love him the mostttttttttt.

kabir you are honestly suchhhhhhhhhhhhhh an idiot, if you think not getting his body is a good thing. DON’T YOU KNOW HIM AT ALL??????? AT ALLLLLLLL????? NO BODY MEANS HE’S STILL OUT THERE, BIDING HIS TIME TO FUCKING COME GET YOUUUUUU.

he’s like good, vansh didn’t even get antim sanskaaaar. who knew kabir was sooooo religious??????

vansh so efficient and independent ki khud ka kriyakaram kar raha hai. aatmanirbhar ho toh aise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not before he maarofied his own pocket tho.

“bohut jald iss VR mansion ke aage KR mansion ka signboard hoga.” hein???????? the R in there is for RAISINGHANIA. why the hell would you add one random surname to your name??????

YEAH. I KNOW THOSE CHITTAAA-ASSS EARSSSSSSS.

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG BHAGWAAAAAAN NE MERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SUNNNNNNNNNNN LIIIIIIIIII THEY MADE HIM SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE ASALKJDLKJDSLAKJDLASKAS

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG THE DUMBASS FAKE DEEEP VOICE IS GONE TOOOOOOOOO ALKSDJSALKDJLASKJDLSAKJDLASKJDLASKJDLKJLKS I JUST

styling also EXAAAAAAACTLY HOW I LIKE IT.

helllllllllllllllllllllllo hunny. NOW YOU’VE MADE THIS SHOW FINALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY WORTH WATCHING. bas thodaaaa saa tharakkkkk ka maska i need to make my tellywood viewing experience sooooooo much easier. AUR WOH MUJHE AAAAAAJ SE MIL GAYAAAAAAAAAAA.

ok 13 days later.

bitch looks better after going through life-altering trauma than i do on my most stable mental health days.

talking to portrait about how the misery is unending, etc. etc.

kabir still calling her. WHY??????? dude just take the L and move the fuck on.

lmaooooooo mummy is like 13 din rone ki acting kar karke aankhon ki band baj gayiiiiii.

standard mwahahahahaha we succedded bufoonery from too complacent evil ppl. dumb dumb dumbbbbb!

but let’s admire this evil cutie bean.

riddhima’s mangalsutra which she justttttt set down on that bureau missing. she in a panic.

ofc these two are behind it.

ishani wants the truth about that dayyyyyyy and aryan jumping in about how riddhima never loved vansh and just always doubted him and blah blah.

my question is since when aryan loves vansh bhaiiiiiii so much huh???????

anyway. this happens. and those two are left plotting some more about getting the truth out.

VIHAAAAAAAAAAAN is the new name.

seeeeee????? i knew his ass had some lucrative skill in the current economy. he some tech bro types.

CAN YOU BELIEVEEEEEEEEE THEY HID THAT FUCKING JAWLINE AND THOSE DIMPLES UNDER THAT BEARD FOR 5 WHOLE MONTHSSSSSSSSS. FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS CRIMEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

unf, boy got cake. that ass just needed shirali to stay tf away from it.

also askdjalskjdlsakdjlaskjdlkj they turned ragini’s container waala room into his hacker man cave. what a wonderfully multipurpose room!

honestly, i’m just soooooooooo relieved i can just watch this show for eyecandy now. kaleje ko suchhhhhhhh thandak, yougaizzzzz.

banda khud vansh ke net worth (5000 cr.) ko dekh kar hairaan pareshaan. yeah, this much wealth accumulation is fucking immoral, asshole. you vansh did deserve to get thrown off a fucking cliff.

show laaaaaaaaaakh convince karne ki koshish karle ki yeh koi aur hai, my bullshit meter says it’s vansh vansh and no one else but vansh.

unrealistic af, someone PRINTING photos out in this day and age. what kinda tech person are you???????

lmao he’s checking out each photo for each family member and the commentssssssss.....

rudra chacha and chanchal chachi: “kaafi expressive faces! koshish bhi kare chupaane ki toh bhi chupaa nahi paa rahe ke lomdiii hain yeh ghar ke.”

aslkdjaslkdjlsakjdlskjdlksj i already like him better than old vansh.

aryan: “doosron ke bharose jeene waala.”

ishani: “raisinghania hone ka bohut ghamand hai, magar bechaari ki shaadi angre se ho gayi.”

how he know that if he not vansh????? angre not even in this set of pics.

siya: “kehte hain jo chal nahi sakte, unka wifi network bohut strong hota hai..... kab, kahaan, kya pakad le, koi nahi jaanta.”

“aur yeh hai....... RIDDHIMAAAAA....... iss parivaar ka most special aur khoobsoorat member.”

“moh aur maaya...... dono ka mel [...]”

yup, i definitely like this cheeky and cheesy persona better than the murder-threatening-paralyzing shit we had to put up with earlier. happy days, you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

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deerheadlights · 5 years ago

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Chapter 6 feat. 2 symposiums

The whole voyage to the Piraeus had been a marvel for Glaukos. He’d sat alongside professional rowers, sampled some of the vintages in the cargo hold, and had listened to the captain talk about naval stories he could have only dreamed about a few days ago. Every word out of his mouth had been some sort of question. As they were unloading onto the dock, saying good-bye to the sailors he felt fast friends with, he had some more for Tydeus.

“Why did you bring the horse?” Piling the leggy creature onto the boat had been a feat in itself, though it didn’t try to launch itself into the sea like Glaukos had feared. “I learned a long time ago from an old Persian, people take you a lot more seriously when you’re on top of a big horse.” Xanthe seemed happy to be on dry land, judging from her swishing tail. Or maybe she just had to poop again.

“Also I didn’t want to walk from the Piraeus to Athens again. She should be able to hold both of us for that short ride.” he casually vaulted onto the saddle. “Get on.” Glaukos looked at the horse. In his hamlet, only the richest man in town had a horse, and that one looked more like a large dog compared to this Persian beast. So although Glaukos had groomed a horse a few times, he’d never actually ridden one, much less jumped onto one’s back. “Yeah sure, let me just…” He tried to get his leg over its back, but he could only get up to the calf and had no leverage. “Never ridden a horse before?” Tydeus sighed, “I really should have seen that coming.” He turned around and pulled him on.

“Just hold onto my belt, and don’t just sit flat or you’ll be in a world of hurt.” What other way is there to sit? Xanthe started moving right after Tydeus gave her reins a snap. She didn’t even walk, just moved straight to a high-kneed trot. Doesn’t hurt at all, it’s smoother than a boat ride! Tydeus whistled. “Well would you look at that, here I was thinking Persians just trained their horses to lift their knees like that for show! Instead they’ve got them giving rides smoother than butter.” “How do you know so much about Persians?” asked Glaukos. Secretly, he had been worrying that Tydeus had been some sort of mercenary for the Great King. “I was in the interior of Ionia with my friend, Alkyone’s father. His father had some shipping interests there, and well, you can’t really get along there unless you know Persian. And there may have been some political interests there, too.”

“So you weren’t exiled for being a mercenary?”

“Perish the thought. I’m exiled because every Theban is an exile now.” Glaukos gasped. He had heard about the destruction of the city of Thebes. Even in his sleepy village there had been arguments, that Thebes was one of the most ancient cities of the Hellenes, but it had aided the Persians during the previous wars and couldn’t be trusted. No wonder they had had “political interests.”

“So you’re--”

“Now that we’re nearing the city I’d rather not talk about such sensitive topics. Your job is to pack away my things and keep your ears open for, the mood of the city, threats… anything that seems important.” He took out a discrete pouch, Glaukos held back a gasp when he opened it. There were dozens more plaques and some gold Darics. He felt a bit resentful, compared to all this, what Tydeus had given his father was a pittance.

“This should be enough if you feel the need to grease anyone’s palm” Tydeus counted out three of the gold coins, stamped with a golden profile and narrow wedges of the Persian alphabet. “I’ll be going through the front of the house, you’ll have to go out back with the horse.”

---

It feels so good to be back in a civilized place, Alkyone reflected as a cosmetic slave put the finishing touches on her hair. After a bone deep warm bath and massage, she felt alive again. They had taken Marduniya to a separate part of the house, obviously he couldn’t be allowed in the women’s quarters. She found herself hoping the Persian was being treated well, almost dying twice in a fortnight was something to be pitied.

She hadn’t met with her host yet, but she was invited to the beginning of his dinner. Usually men and women dining together would be a breach of etiquette, but it was the feast of [idk]. A translucent scarlet cochineal veil was pinned in place over her bun, so that the color mingled with her bright yellow crocus dyed chiton. Sandals with gilding on the edges provided the finishing touch.

She allowed herself to be led through the narrow hallway to the lush courtyard. The klines had been arranged around an eel pond with white egrets stalking amongst them. She could see Nothon sharing a kline with the man who she presumed was Lethos, a woman seated by herself and another man opposite them. Hadn’t Tydeus called him a thug in Tyrian purple? The man was squat, with the kind of lumpy swollen ears you would find on a boxer. And he had on a white robe with wide purple stripes. He leaned forward as he saw her approaching, “Nothon, please introduce us to this sweet dove you’ve had the good fortune to travel with!”

“Lethos, Alketas, Phanessa, this is dear Alkyone, who has so patiently and good-naturedly persevered with the terrible hand dealt to her by exile.” His speech has really shaped up in front of “the boss.” The woman, Phanessa, smiled, “I’m so happy to be the one to tell you that you can make your home here, my dear.”

“You have already been so kind to me, Despoina, I cannot thank you enough,” Alkyone inclined her head.

“The pleasure is ours, Alkyone, daughter of Podaleirus. The families of great patriots should not be allowed to be cast out by the tyrannical regime.” said Lethos, lifting his arm in a magnanimous gesture.

“Now please, if you would share a kline with my wife and drink with us.” Usually ladies of good stature would leave just before the first drinks were served, but Alkyone had heard that those kinds of things were looser the further you got from the mainland. She climbed onto the kline, and Phanessa gave her a motherly squeeze on the shoulder. A large, tattooed Thracian appeared to hand her a full cup. She was surprised, men like that were usually sent to work in mines, or at their most domestic worked as stable grooms, not household staff due to their dangerous nature. This one seemed demure enough though, his eyes were downcast but he didn’t spill a drop. “To the continued health of Alkyone Podaleirid and democracy,” Lethos raised his cup.

“Also, might I add, to the continued good health of Tydeus son of Medon” Alkyone raised hers in turn. “Of course!” Alkyone took a deep sip. Oh my, some eastern vintage, and unwatered at that! Perhaps this wasn’t civilized country after all. The other man, Alketas, still hadn’t spoken, but she didn’t want to appear too forward by addressing him, but Lethos spoke to him next. “It seems King Alexander has, if inadvertently, struck a blow for democracy by freeing Sardis, now that he has defeated the Great King at Issus, who knows what will happen.”

“I doubt very much it was inadvertent, he has said from the first that he wishes to free the Greek cities of Asia from barbaric despotism.” Alketas had a smooth voice, but what he was saying struck Alkyone as unpleasant.

“Ironic that he should make such a claim after putting the Greek cities of Greece under fear of destruction unless they submit to him,” Alkyone sniffed. Usually she wouldn’t have been so forward, but she felt safe in the present company… it also could have been the wine. It was truly excellent, she took another sip. Alketas looked at her with cold blue eyes, “Alas, but did not Thebes fight against Ionian independence in the Persian Wars? If the King of the Macedonians wants to right the wrongs of that time, perhaps his strategy was part of that.”

“Oh, well how should Macedon be punished under his grand plan, did they not send a contingent to fight with the Great King as their loyal vassals?” Alkyone shot back and took another draught to punctuate her point. It was definitely the wine.

“What gives Macedonians the right to be saviours of the Hellenes? They were just some hill tribe, basically Illyrians until that King Philip was educated in Thebes. And even so he still had 7 wives like a barbarian.” Alketas’s nostrils flared, but his voice stayed cold and smooth, “The Macedonians are as Hellene as you or I. Hercules fathered their line of kings.”

“Didn’t he father the Scythian tribes as well? I don’t hear anyone calling them our fellow Hellenes. He even left those sons a belt and a bow, maybe he thought them more legitimate.”

“I see you are still distraught over the regrettable loss of Thebes.” He looked down his nose at her.

“Yes dear, your nerves must be so frayed, Nothon told us about that awful shipwreck you were in. It was just nearing time to retire anyhow.” Phanessa’s hand gripped like a claw, but as she tried to get up, she felt her head spin. Wine was wine, but this sort of effect seemed excessive. Phanessa was right next to her but she could barely hear her when she said “Nothon, take her to bed.” The last thing she felt were Nothon’s arms around her as she slipped off to sleep.

#333 bc #alkyone

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lizzybeth1986 · 5 years ago

Text

Quick Thoughts on TRR Book 1 Chapter 7

• So! Chapter 7. So little yet so much happens in this chapter.

• I usually don't place a General Thoughts section on my TRR QTs, but there's enough, I think, to warrant one on both this one and the next for now.

• It's very well-constructed, there are all sorts of interesting contrasts and dynamics to it. In hindsight seeing as Olivia and Drake are such popular characters now, it's nice to see the beginnings of those shifts here.

• Hana also has a very important role in this chapter, and there are shifts here too. Not a lot will be said about this here, because I've got a full essay on her Cordonian Waltz scene that deals with a lot of its major themes. This scene is not my favourite Hana scene though - that honour will always belong to the piano scene in Chapter 8 😍

• THIS CHAPTER, my friends, is also where Drake's use of our surname begins. So I'm guessing our little tally for his use of our first name may just stop at 4 (he does say your first name sometime in the meteor shower scene, so that should be 5).

• Title: Fire and Ice.

Kinda fitting, no? We're staying in Olivia's wintry home, but there are a whole bunch of tensions bubbling under the surface.

I mean, look at the lines of the Robert Frost poem they borrowed this title from:

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I’ve tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

I mean you have Olivia, who loves the cold and admires the frozen splendor of the Alps, and whose mockery of Savannah included claiming she was "the sensitive sort" who wouldn't "last long here". And who hates the MC enough at this point that the moment she gets the tiniest amount of power, she will leave no stone unturned to let the her know she is not welcome.

And then you have Drake, who has begun to thaw towards the MC, and Hana, who is now opening up to her. Both experience the first stirrings of desire for her in these chapters. You get romance points for just being nice to Drake in both this chapter and the next one, and Hana is flustered by the attention you could optionally give her during the waltz.

• The narrative describes Lythikos as being situated at the Alps, and Maxwell tells us that Olivia is primarily at "Lythikos Hall, which is further south" but she will be hosting the court at her chateau instead. Hana tells us that since Lythikos is her domain, Olivia would have the upper hand, but we will really only understand the importance of that advantage at the ball in the next chapter.

• Bertrand is missing, and on one of his many trips to figure out estate stuff. Drake complains about the others discussing Bertrand, and Hana (like a normal person) complains about the cold. Which leads us to our OOTD!

• Our rooms are pretty much a modified, simpler version of the Lykos Castle bedroom, where Val once reluctantly pretended to be Zenobia's handmaiden, and where Annelyse and Kenna could sneak in for a rendezvous at the end of Book 2. I like it. It's purple 😁

Me Back Then: That outfit is terrible! It's the ugliest fucking thing I've ever seen and I've seen Bluebelle. The other option must be a basic sweater or something right? Right??

Me Back Then (after seeing the second option):

Me Now: If our MC needs more motivation to freeze to death in Lythikos, the ugly coat opens up to a free Drake scene.

Me Back Then: Okay. Okay. I guess I feel better about turning into an icicle now.

• This, and the Beach Bae outfit, are the only ones in this book that unlock extra scenes with the outfit purchase alone in Book 1. Buying Marabelle's Dream in Chapter 13 also works on a similar principle, but as far as outfits go these two are the only ones this book.

• If there are two basic things canon will give us about our MC this chapter, it's that she's learned ice-skating before (how good she is at it depends on you), and she's gone for soccer and basketball practice as a child.

• Maxwell plays matchmaker by distracting Olivia to buy us time with Liam. Kinda reminds me of that scene in the Fox Hunt chapter where he tries showing Constantine dance videos so we get extra time with Liam at the stables 😂

• These dialogues below get unlocked only if you show interest in hearing more about Olivia from him:

Liam and Olivia were such cute fucking friends and I find it sad that we rarely get to see much of that. Liam is protective of her, trusts her to the point of believing she is innocent when (optionally) no one else might in Book 3, concerned when she looks distressed and respects her.

• One thing that changed along the way in Olivia's story was who Lucretia was in relation to her. In this scene Liam calls Lucretia her great-aunt (although she isn't mentioned by name here), in Book 3 she is confirmed to be her mother's sister.

• I think the most heartbreaking bit is where Liam speaks about walking into the sight of Olivia crying into her mother's gown, and holding her until she cries herself to sleep. To think...that's the child Constantine was so desperate to leave broken and powerless.

• This tender backstory informs your choice to be good to her. You get to compliment her duchy, which, again, takes her by surprise.

• Hana comes up next, skating circles around every person in that court. Kiara, Penelope and Tariq are shown as struggling with skating - first as a set up to speaking about Hana's talent in this area, and second to show us just how much her parents had prepared her for a life in the nobility. Not only is she made to learn the life and rules and negotiations that govern noble/royal life - they've also pushed her into learning (and being good at) skills that would either help her in domestic/court life, or would make her desirable to her suitors. The courtly ladies who have grown up here know what's needed and know their strengths (at least some of them). A foreigner like Hana probably has to jump through more hoops to be seen, so her parents sent her to learn everything possible thing they could think of.

• Tariq is shown complaining about how his fancy skates are too expensive for skating...so yeah, another point on the "Tariq's Shoe Obsession" tally.

• Here is Hana speaking about ice skating with the same lack of interest Drake employs around fancy wine and good food.

That last line. It killed me. There's such a sense of resignation in the way she says it.

• This may seem like a slight build up to Hana's Cordonian Waltz scene (and that scene does reference this dialogue), but I honestly believe it's meant to be more of precursor to her Piano Parlour scene in Chapter 8.

That scene was all about something she loved and enjoyed, ruined by her parents' desire to reduce it to just another skill for them to parade around. There is a real fire and anger about the way she speaks of how she fiercely guarded it, and I believe this scene - where she talks of ice skating with such a lack of interest that even a stranger can see it - is the perfect contrast.

• We now meet Drake, who has suddenly and without cause begun to call us by our surnames. We will only get to find out why towards the end of Book 2.

• There's also a funny dialogue the MC makes about wanting to see Drake in a tutu, to which he replies that some images aren't worth the effort - back from the good ol' days of his macho posturing. It's even more funny given that the writers are trying really really hard now to retcon that completely, by having him claim in TRH he would dress up in a tutu if his wife claimed to have a thing for the sugar fairy 🤣

(Screenshots for the first option from the Parvez Kanok YouTube Channel)

More relationship points opportunities for Drake! You get to choose where your MC stands in her relationship with Drake now - does she like him? Is she friendly but cautious? Is she upfront that she can't stand him? The last option doesn't yield relationship points obviously, but he tells that MC that it's a good thing she refuses to trust him ("you shouldn't have faith in anyone out here, and certainly not me").

• We now have a skiing race down the slopes with Drake, where you can beat him at his own game and maybe show off to Liam and Olivia while they're on the slopes (Liam very adorably cries "Go MC!" in this option 😂). Orrr you can land on your butt while Drake laughs at you.

• Drake tries really hard to argue that he's won even in the option where you do everything right, which is another earlier indicator (besides the betting scene at the Derby) of his competitive spirit.

• Okay so this confuses me - Drake is the first one to tell you about the Cordonian Waltz being the main dance at the ball, has probably heard about it even with his lack of interest in all things courtly. But Maxwell is our sponsor, and in Bertrand's absence he should have at least been asking around if he had forgotten the message. I like Maxwell but the lack of forethought and concern for a foreigner that he's brought here is...not a great look on him on replays.

• We're now back at Olivia's lodge, enjoying a cup of hot chocolate (with marshmallows that Drake is pretending not to fanboy over)

• It feels so strange now to be in Lythijos and have something that's not Lythikos Nog.

• So here is where Olivia mentions Savannah, to get back at Drake for being Not Impressed™ (careful Drake the Leona side of your genetics is showing) with her "spectacular hosting". IDK Olivia if you're the only one patting yourself on the back for the hosting...then you're probably not that good at hosting.

• In any case, she pushes every possible button marked sensitive on Drake, and you can tell she knows how much Savannah's departure affected him ("wait, Drake, dear! Come back! I wasn't finished with you!") and is enjoying sinking that knife into him. From her we get to know that Savannah worked hard on fitting in, was a sensitive girl, and struggled to fit in. She also remarks on the suddenness of Savannah's departure.

• What baffles me though is that either Olivia was decent to Savannah's face during her time in court, or they simply retconned the fact that Olivia looked down on her. Because by Book 3, Olivia acts pretty normal around her and is even planning a gift for her in TRH in the middle of really important work. There is a possibility that she probably resorted to these tactics only during the social season but didn't have to do so once she'd withdrawn...but still. You'd think there would be some reference to her attitude in the first book. My guess is they backtracked with that part of the story because they were invested in making Olivia look better.

• The options to respond to Olivia include threatening to slap her, being dismissive about his pain, and simply asking about Savannah. The second one was way too insensitive for me and the third one seemed pretty invasive (why tf would I ask Olivia about Savannah when I could simply ask Drake), so I tried the first one...only to get a romance point. That's not going to be the last time I get a romance point just for being nice to Drake.

•

Me Back Then: Aww Maxwell. Such a good friend.

Me After Book 2: This is so sad Alexa play Liar by Queen

Me After TRH: When was the last time you met her Maxwell? Two months ago??

• Drake's Meteor Shower scene is actually pretty short, and there's not a lot going on in hindsight. But because it comes from a character who is already so closed off - the amount of information is just right. It's just enough to create a shift.

- You start off by surprising Drake with your arrival. Now for most of Book 1, Drake is pretty talented at shoving his foot in his mouth, which is exactly what he does in this sequence if you're concerned about him. He's also apparently not a very easy scare.

- As with the scene that built this one up, Drake proves to be far more comfortable when you show a lack of trust in him than when you show concern - for it is the second option that sparks a knee-jerk, defensive reaction that he needs to then apologize for (rather similar in fact to the scene at the stables, where he gets straight to the point if you're suspicious, and makes smart-alec comments if you're grateful). You get a couple chances here and there to figure out how your MC will respond to him.

- It...kinda makes sense, because mistrust and suspicion is something he seems to expect. Genuine kindness and concern isn't.

- The other interesting thing are the parallels the story creates between the MC and the perception of Savannah especially in this book. Right from the MC's first special moment with Drake watching the shooting stars, the way Savannah used to when they were kids. The image Drake conjures of the MC being an innocent gazelle walking into a trap. The fact that if you're romantically involved with him, you share your first kiss in the same office where Bertrand and Savannah...I'm not finishing that sentence. The comparisons he makes between Savannah on her last day in Cordonia, and the MC at the Coronation Ball - right before events that will change their futures.

(Screenshots taken from the Parvez Kanok YouTube Channel)

I still wonder if things changed along the way, because the tone of Drake's early scenes about Savannah sounded so...ominous, so scary. I think many of us (before they started dropping heavy hints about the Beaumont connection) suspected her departure was plot-related and she'd discovered something terrifying...except it all turned out to be one big misunderstanding between two people who would anyway be awful together.

- I think Drake makes a pretty huge leap in terms of trust here: at the end of the scene if you ask him whether he trusts you, he tells you that if he ever had to start trusting anyone, he would start with you.

- For the Drake stan there are a couple cute moments: him asking you if you trust him before shoving you to the ground so you can stargaze, the actual stargazing, and holding his hand on the way back to the Chateau.

• Poor Hana (if you've gone with him) is up all night waiting for the MC and Drake to return, worried sick about them being in the middle of a possible storm.

• Hana's Cordonian Waltz scene. Now that one I've played numerous times - maybe too often to count. I've written an essay about it too, so I won't be going into a lot of detail here. (for anyone interested in reading it, just search for #cordonian waltz on my blog. The essay on the Cordonian Waltz scene should be the first thing you see on that tag in my blog). I will talk about two things though - the personal impact of this scene, and Hana being valued for her skills more than for who she is.

- This scene is in a lot of ways the followup to our first scene with her, where we comfort her and give her advice on dealing with people like Olivia. If you bought that scene...she returns this favour as a gesture of gratitude (if not she does it is only because she's a marvellous human being and way too good for us). It also gives us more insight into why her engagement broke, why winning Prince Liam's hand matters so much even though she only sees him as a friend.

- Let's be honest - without Hana this story would look...quite different. She is our guide, our protector, someone who eases us into the routine of the court. She is also someone who is aware of Cordonia's ways and traditions, but in her own way is still a foreigner, still someone who might have to work far harder for the same amount of respect. She is someone with a foot each in both worlds.

- In a way, her knowledge is important to us, but her foreignness makes her relatable. It makes her acutely aware of our struggles in a way that a Liam or a Maxwell or even another lady of the court wouldn't, since they spent their lives in Cordonia and therefore may not fully understand the nuances of the MC's assimilation or exactly how much she may have to adjust to fit in.

- And I think this is exactly where the writers failed her. They made her the foreign woman with Cordonian heritage, who knew a lot about Cordonia...and then refused to explore the heritage and life she grew up with when the chance was clearly there. In Book 2, we wound up spending more time in Shanghai with the guys than we ever really did with her.

- Hana's skill based scenes often tend to go beyond the immediate task at hand and delve into the nuances - so that we can see the beauty of what she is teaching. Take this scene for example. Can we perform the Cordonian Waltz without a hitch if we don't buy this scene? Sure we can! But the beauty of this waltz, its value as a courtship dance, is only barely apparant if you don't buy it.

- Hana's general attitude to teaching a bad dancer an intricate waltz is "bitch if I can teach my dad's favourite hunting dog to learn a box step on his hind legs then I can do anything. Don't try me." But said, like, super super politely.

- The Cordonian Waltz seems to have the elements of a traditional waltz, I think, with the 'Cordonian' element being the courtship aspect of it. From what I can make of Book 1's exploration of social mores, the expectation seems to be to pursue whatever relationships you want to, but to keep those displays of affection largely private. A courtship dance giving the noble/royal a small leeway to flirt kind of works with that general logic.

A little story here: this sequence was in some ways the reason I started taking interest in Hana at first. Part of that was because I related so heavily to a lot of what she was saying in this sequence.

I've lived with controlling parents. I've had family who insisted their way of thinking was the best, and who wouldn't even realize at times that they were not giving me a chance to voice my opinion. There's a lot of messages within that kind of upbringing that you absorb when you're young - the biggest of them being that they're all you have, and even genuine frustration at their worst behaviour can be wrong and will result in them reminding you of every single thing you've done for them.

It's not all doom and gloom...it's not either all subservience or all I-hate-my-parents either. It's often a very complicated, messy mix of things. There's good stuff and happy memories, but there are also things that seem normal and then niggle at you, before they explode and you see them for the big problems that they are. You value and respect those parents, but at the same time you can't always place what is it about their behaviour that makes you feel strange and stifled. You want to rebel sometimes, but some of that rebellion comes with a creeping sense of guilt, like you're doing something wrong. You know sometimes that staying away is healthier for you and them than staying with...but you can't bear to break off that relationship yet. And in a lot of ways Hana encapsulates - within the miniscule space the writers chose to give her - a lot of the mess that comes with complicated, controlling relationships like that.

I've seen people call Hana weak and passive, see her only for her tragedies, stay blind to the individuality that she does possess, stay blind to all the small ways she does push back. I've seen people who will without a moment's hesitation put her down to praise an Olivia - never mind that even an Olivia had some support somewhere, never mind that her homeplace Lythikos has vastly different rules and norms that she upholds, that she has grown up learning and still follows. Context matters.

- The other thing that is so striking is how she compares what she has grown up with to what Peter had grown up with:

When you're brought up believing that you don't exactly have a say in who you marry, even romance of the kind Peter seemed to be envisioning seems like a privilege to you. Even on the basic level of 'I have a say in the kind of person I want to spend the rest of my life with'. Sometimes you just know when what you want doesn't exactly count (I mean...we are talking about the woman who had 200 PinStop boards on her future wedding yet believed she didn't have a say in how it would look).

This is further complicated by the fact that the narrative alludes to her upbringing by placing an emphasis on heteronormativity - her parents constantly push her towards men, a lot of the skills they have her pick up (including fringe ones like fainting to show how fragile she is???) are openly mentioned as being there to appeal to men, Xinghai is shocked when Hana tells him that she cares for the MC romantically. It's not said in so many words, but the overall impression you get is that she's never really had the opportunity to discover what she wants, probably never had the space to even think about it. I kinda really feel that on some level.

I grew up in an environment where a lot of things were taboo - including discussions on sexuality or even sex itself. Our parents were tight lipped, other adults skirted around it, and in our churches and schools kids had the most skewed ideas of a gay/lesbian/bi/trans/nonbinary people. I spent almost a decade in the closet, half of which involved me being in very very deep denial.

It's only in retrospect that I recognize that a number of relationships that I saw as 'very close friendships" were actually crushes - it didn't even occur to me to call it anything else. It took me until after I got married to fully come out and understand who I was.

(Screenshots from Abhirio's YouTube channel)

Hana's clumsy fumblings towards expressing her feelings must stem from a similar place. What she is feeling is so different from everything she has learned and experienced so far that she takes the entire social season to emotionally adjust. But doing the romantic, sensual Cordonian Waltz with a woman she's beginning to feel more than friendship for? That's a good start.

- There's also the factor of her parents convincing her to maintain her friendship for personal gain (Hana also briefly speaks of this kind of strategy in her Book 3 Snow Angel scene at Lythikos), but at this point she is so devoted and invested in the MC that she doesn't mind going above and beyond to make her succeed. She pretty much saves our asses for two whole books.

- Gosh I spent a lot of time on this scene didn't I (esp for someone who has done an entire essay on it before). But I've gone through two books since, and a lot of people tend to forget/dismiss/minimize Hana's particular set of situations in their desire to push forward a more shallow view of her.

- This scene is a good example of the mix between skill-teaching and personal history for Hana. As the story progresses, the writers will focus far less on the personal, on the struggles of her own journey, and more on the skills she can impart to the MC. And that's the tragedy of her writing: that the writers are some point were only willing to give her space, when the MC had something to benefit from it, when it was centered around the MC rather than her. When the MC either got the advantage of Hana's expertise, or when there is an opportunity that centers around the MC and places her in a pedestal. Towards the end of this series, Hana's friendship with the MC seemed very imbalanced - mostly because any opportunity to expand on what Hana was going through or feeling was often taken by other characters, or overshadowed by the MC's needs at the time.

General Thoughts:

• So...the next chapter is one of my favourites - because it is the dynamics of this chapter increased and expanded tenfold. The tension between Liam and Olivia as grownups who were childhood friends, Olivia's fear of losing him to the MC, Drake and Hana's trust in her, Liam's confusion over his feelings for her, how the ladies view this situation. There's so much going on next chapter, and this chapter is pretty good buildup to that.

• The 8th chapter esp in Books 1 and 2 of the series tended to provide significant changes in terms of relationship dynamics - and their dynamics in those chapters were often based on the theme of trust. But more on that in that chapter.

• Ngl, I'm also excited about that chapter because there's a spotlight on Kiara AND my all-time favourite Hana scene xD

• Admittedly...there's not a lot of Persephone (the MC of my failplay) in this QT - partly because I have only a ten-pic limit, and mostly because this chapter is pretty much like a short holiday from the court and the events.

• This is the kind of chapter that is light on the events and activities but heavy on the personal relationships. Plus, even though I wanted her to dance with Hana, I didn't want her to have any advantages going in to the ball - and even though you could still screw up it could still come with its own set of advantages. Besides, I knew a really good scene was coming up the next chapter.

• I found it easier as a Hana romancer to choose like this in Book 1, because even if I didn't take a scene I knew there would be a good one coming up in the next chapter, or in a couple chapters at least. By Book 2, I had very few good options (that didn't come with an automatic advantage) to choose from, so Persephone ended up taking crappy ones like the fashion show scene in Paris because I knew the next good Hana scene would take a while. It's...not a good feeling.

• What especially worked for this chapter were the contrasts. You have a gruff, guarded Drake who takes the chance to open up to you if you give it to him, and you have the vulnerable child-Olivia, juxtaposed with the very tough, very aggressive adult-Olivia.

• You were confronted with a very different Olivia in Liam's memories, to the one you see now, but at the same time reminded that she is indeed a very different person in the present. It was like you'd be tempted to thaw a little but the narrative would say "no, not yet".

• And it worked. Because you were eased into the nuances of that character, not having the better parts of her pushed in your face while you were still wary.

• Olivia's scene with Drake has a few parallels with a scene in a corresponding chapter in Book 2: Madeleine's treatment of Hana. Not on the scale of what they did (you can't really even compare Olivia's mockery of Savannah to Madeleine's obvious abuse of power), but on the setup the narrative was giving you. Here are the similarities:

1. Both chapters begin with the MC viewing Olivia/Madeleine as a rival of sorts, and her initial views on them are largely negative.

2. The MC witnesses moments of nuance that allow her to see that character in a different light. (Liam's story of Olivia's parents' deaths/Madeleine calling out the press on their sexism re: the Tariq situation, then the MC discovering to her surprise that Madeleine was never involved in the conspiracy against her).

3. While the MC is still attempting to take in this new information, the character does something that will confirm her initial thoughts about them. It will take a while before she manages to change her mind.

For me, the differences lie both in scale, and in the way the LI is treated. Olivia is cruel, she enjoys insulting Savannah and upsetting Drake - but the space isn't one where his position or his staying at the court is threatened. Besides this, the MC is allowed to push back at Olivia (aggressively, if she chooses to) and support Drake, as do Hana and Maxwell when Olivia leaves. Drake has the space to be upset about it, he has the space to lash out. His pain is validated and he is allowed his mistrust and anger at Olivia even into Book 2 when she is offering help.

Madeleine on the other hand threatens Hana's place at court and uses her newfound authority to harm her - and fully intends to continue doing so until she breaks. Hana is pushed by the narrative into a position of powerlessness - one that wasn't even necessary (she isn't even allowed to know about Madeleine's plan to break her nor is she given the space to push back against her). Even the diamond scene following Madeleine's threats revolved around every other character besides her.

I personally feel like the writing team chose this route for Madeleine in Book 2, because it seemed to work well enough with Olivia...but they'd gone too far, and in a way that Madeleine couldn't exactly come back from as easily as Olivia could. The strategy worked for Olivia, and backfired quite a bit for Madeleine.

• The irony of this chapter is that in TRH 7, Savannah herself speaks about not being able to fit in, and being happy she has friends among the ladies of the court now, and Olivia seems pretty alright with her by then. As I mentioned earlier this could be because the Olivia we're seeing now is doing everything she can to hold on to Liam, and it's making her act in ways that would only defeat her purpose, rather than help her.

• Drake's diamond scene in a lot of ways is necessary buildup for his whiskey scene in the next chapter. He spends a lot of time talking about what it's like to be in court there, but with our knowledge that his sister has disappeared and the (optional) assumption that the court was a poisonous place that drove her away from Cordonia altogether - he can (in his Whiskey diamond scene) expand on why it's better to not trust anyone, and warn her at the same time. The fact that he has now reached the point of wanting to tell her these things (even the things he says about Savannah in the meteor shower scene, are things he admits not having told anyone) is pretty major at this point.

• That's it for this week folks! Sorry for the longer-than-usual post 😅 I feel like the next one might be wayyy longer because I love that chapter.

• Tally Counts:

Number of Times Drake has Called Esther/Persy by Their First Names: 5

Number of Times Tariq Has Mentioned His Shoes: 2

Number of Times Drake Has Taken An Alcoholic Drink that’s Not Whiskey: 1

Number of Times Someone Has Called A Reigning Monarch 'Your Highness’: 2

Number of Times You Can Leave Hana Shook. SHOOK I TELLS YA: 3

Number of Times We See Penelope’s Angryface: 2

#long post #trr quick thoughts #trr qts #the royal romance #hana lee #king liam #olivia nevrakis #drake walker #maxwell beaumont

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naeshitsherlock · 5 years ago

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I would put this under a read more under the cut or whatever but I’m on mobile and I don’t think I can so basically I just need to dump this here to put it in my diary tag for future reference and posterity etc

So I’ve been back to watching crazy ex gf on Netflix after a long break (watching too much at once makes my own personality go a little crazy so I gotta be careful) and it helped me realise the context of my brain a little better. Unfortunately I can’t find the exact scene on YouTube so I gotta send the script quote instead which has less impact

...so I can’t even find the quote so maybe I paraphrased it in my dream idk. But anyway, not the point. So Rebecca has an emotional collapse and just... gives up. Like wholly and completely. Overdosed on antianxiety pills and gets sent to hospital for a psych evaluation bc clearly she’s not right

And this new doctor comes along and tells her he’s talked to her therapist and checked out her symptoms and thinks he’s maybe got a real accurate diagnosis for her

And it suddenly fills her with so much hope, and she sings this incredible song that might stay in my heart forever

https://youtu.be/nK2DlLmVc20

“Fake it til you make it” is my absolute motto I live by bc I always felt like I don’t feel like other people do. If I get caught up in the moment of something then I can have fun, sure, but generally? Day to day? I mostly just exist inside my own violet thoughts

Everything is just a hazy dark purple

So she sings this song about finally, _*finally*_ having hope that somebody can tell her why she feels how she feels and that there’s a way to cure it

And she’s looking at people who have mental illnesses and says ‘perfect they’re not but at least they know who they are’ (I’ll come back to this part later for another reason)

And that hit me like a ton of bricks

So I’ve been on antidepressants now for three years, but over those years I’ve tested a whole bunch and different concentrations (wait, doses? Science brain takes over sometimes) and even though the one I’m on now makes me feel... I guess stable, I still don’t feel... good

And every time I see my doctor she asks if it could be better

And it’s so hard to remember what I was like _before_ I started taking meds, but then I saw this episode and it just smacked me up the head

Like if you go from having long hair to bald, it’s an easy comparison, yeah? But what if you just chop centimetres at a time until there’s nothing left

It’s so hard to compare between what it was and what it now is

Just sort of realising that knowing what your problem is is a huge weight off your shoulders and I realised how different I am now from me back then

And then I was watching this and Rebecca was like ‘it’s too much effort to do things or see people or go outside or even just exist’ in the most heartbreaking voice, like completely not a deadpan joke, just absolutely broken down and reduced to basal nothingness, and I got like a sudden timetravel moment back to those feelings

When I was in high school I couldn’t hang out with my friends bc of anxiety. My mum forced me into the car to drop me off once and she had to drive me home after I couldn’t stop sobbing in front of my friends for 10 minutes telling them that I really wanted to hang out with them but I felt physically atrocious and was about to throw up my entire gastroinstestinal system

Realistically, one of my biggest issues is that I haven’t even been diagnosed with depression. I’m taking antidepressants but my doctor has never outright stated that I have depression

And even though I’m rational and I know the symptoms add up, there’s still this really quiet voice in the smallest corner of my brain rejecting it

Even back last year when I was in a flat by myself and not working bc I couldn’t find a job, I had... at least two absolutely gut wrenching breakdowns

I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe, like a goddamn baby who can’t use their words to convey their feelings

And it sucked even more bc I CAN use words and I SHOULD be able to convey my feelings, and I just can’t

I cried for almost two hours

It was an awful wail/shriek and once I stopped hyperventillating it would start again

I’ve had anxiety literally as long as I can remember. I was never able to hang out with friends or go to a bathroom without my mum in a restaurant or even just go to a shop and buy something at the checkout until I started uni, and even then it was such a struggle getting through that

I still have that anxiety but now I’m able to boss it around better, but even then I shit myself when I have to go to a shop alone or just... have a professional opinion? Because I feel like an absolute fake

My entire being is just consumed by ennui (the most accurate definition being ‘a crippling listlessness’)

Even going to the doctor, I know it helps, but every month I get anxiety over making the appt, getting the train, seeing the receptionist, talking to the doctor, filling the prescription, making a future appt for the next month, getting the train back, and getting back to my flat

And the whole thing takes ~2h a month but it absolutely destroys me bc it’s not... I guess it’s not enough

I’ve never been seriously suicidal and I hope I never will be, but at the same time one of the reasons is... you have to have an actual desire to kill yourself

I don’t know the last desire I ever had

When I was in high school and my sister almost died in hospital from anorexia I had a complete break, bc my parents just went distant and I probably saw my mother... less than an hour a day. While I was 16. Once I woke her up to tell her I was going to school and instead of saying morning she said ‘I think your sister is going to die’

8am that happened at

I had to then deal with the anxiety of ‘how do I deal with going from being the older sister to the only sister’

If I could pinpoint a moment where I broke? That would be it

...getting back to your original point about how nice it would be to _live_?

I’ve never lived

Not once in my life

That’s why i was trying so hard with online dating even though I hate it so much, because I just want to figure out who the fuck I am and maybe that’ll help me live

It’s similar to the depression - I’ve never had the label so I don’t feel comfortable knowing what’s wrong

I can’t say ‘oh I have the flu, that’s why I feel shitty so it’s ok’

I’m never ok with feeling shitty just _because_, there’s almost always a reason

‘Perfect they’re not but at least they know who they are’ is the one thing keeping me going, that maybe if I work out who/what I am then I’ll start enjoying my existence

I have no major problems, nothing financial or emotional or physical, I’m privileged and surrounded by a support system I guess but I’ve still always felt an extreme detatchmebt

Recently I’ve found myself being super bitter and jealous towards things like the LGBT community bc it’s people celebrating their identity, and I feel like I don’t have one

And yeah ok I can tell myself things like ‘it’s fine to not have a plan’, ‘it’s ok to not know who you are you just need to find yourself’, ‘it’s alright not to get married and be in a committed relationship’, but there’s always part of me that can’t accept those things

youtube

#text #im v much not expecting anybody to read this but if you do pls dont judge me #i just needed to be honest with myself for once and get things off my chest #the most accurate words i use to describe me general basal feelings and emotions are very blue #melancholy ennui and just plain ol morose

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dear--charlie · 6 years ago

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Dear Charlie,

Guess who’s back - and with a bang? Like actually a bang. My lovely roomate is back home and yes, with a bang. I don’t get it, why didn’t she just move in with her boyfriend? He seem to be here all the fucking time either way.

That was not even why I wanted to write to you. I’ve tried composing a letter for like two days now, but the words dosn’t seem to get right. I just have alot on my mind and I’m so up and down. One day I’m happy and the next I’m so sad and just want to die. I’m confusing myself tbh, and I just don’t get it. I don’t know, it feels like i’m faking everything, or that is a dream. Somtimes I just “wake up” and i’m like wtf, do I actually live here, what am I doing? I’m not ready for stuff you know? Also I can’t stop living in the past, like I revisit memories from like 5 years ago all the time, and it’s just ugh, why can’t I move on from shit? I want to tell you so much about my past and about everything but I don’t know how to. My brain won’t work like it should and it’s frustrating. And I feel like im failing school. I got so much schoolwork and I just procrastinate it and we recently did an interview thing - the one I told you about - and it turned out so ugly and idk, I just want a new start again, but I can’t keep moving away as soon as stuff gets rough, right? I feel presured for alot of reasons. Both of my brothers are doing good. One has a stable girlfriend and just a nice life and the other is really succesful and gets really good work-oppertunites all the time, and im jealous. Sure I’m the youngest, but I still feel like I should have accomplished more than I have. I can’t even get a boyfriend you know?

Or like, the people I like, don’t like me back. I often think that people never like me, in that way you know, but these past few years I kind of realize that it’s a lie. Let’s go through the people I know had had a crush on me - just to boost my confidece, shall we? First, there was G. This was really just a crush, because we didn’t know eachother at all. He was in the year over me, and you know, somepeople you just flirt with. I often found him staring at me, and I remember this one time, he was walking past me, up the stairs, with his friends, and time just stopped. As he walked he turned around and looked at me. And lit truly felt like time stood still. Then his friends grabbed his shoulder and pulled him away. After G, there was O. O and I were in the same class, but completly opposite groups. I was the awkward, quiet one, that nobody really knew, and he was more like the “popular” crew. He was the only one shorter than me. We talked a bit, nothing to much, and then one day, his friends just started to joke with him whenever I was around or telling me that he thought I was pretty. Anyway, let’s move on to D. D is amazing and i’ve had a crush on him too, but that was never anything speciall. We cuddeld a bit and walked home togheter. It was sweet and innocent. And then there was M. This is a bit of a weird one. M is older than me, by quite a bit. He was the one I saw as an older brother for alot of the time, until one day. I had been on like a gamenight, and it was only him and we left. And I don’t know how we got to that point, but we were spooning on a couch, and just like talked for hours. After that he drove me home and, instead of getting out of the car, we talked some more. This was like 5 years ago and we kind of drifted apart, but just a few months ago, we met at a wedding and he asked me about my boyfriend and stuff like that, mind you, i’m single. It was kind of awkward but he looked happy when I said it. Then there’s B. B is just an awkward story of one of those times you just are nice to someone and they take it the wrong way. He was were obvious and just cringey. He asked me to prom and I said no. And then there’s H. I told you about him before - the one that got away before it even was something - yeah him. At some point, we basically were togheter and then it never happened. I’m probably gonna rant more about him some other day. Last one for today must be C. C is the guy I probably should have gone with. He is perfect (H is perfect too but eh). First time I really connected with C, I’ve mentioned before. We had had one thing before that, I once spent the night with him. Nothing much, we just spooned and that was it. Then there was the time where everyone thought I was sick, but he saw that I really just was feeling shit. So he took me for a walk, brought blankets, and we sat by the waters for hours. He talked on and on and then asked me how I was. And I just broke down and I could not stop crying and he said the rigth things and kept asking what was wrong even though I said nothing. “nobody cries that much for no reason”. And he kept me company and just talked with me. The day after, he sent me a message “I truly ment what I said yesterday, I am here if you ever need to talk. I just want you to be happy”. And we chatted for a bit. He invited me to his birthday, with loads of his family there and it was fun. He came to visit me anothertime and it was perfect. We cooked togheter, took care of the dishes togheter, watched a movie, showed eachother bad youtubeclips. We went for a walk and sat by the lake for hours. He wanted us to skinnydip, but me, being way to selfconsius, said no. And it started raining, so by the time we got home, we were soking wet. And we shared bed, we spooned and cuddeld. I could feel that he wanted more, but I was being a coward again. The next morning he baked scones for breakfast, and we ate in bed. He took a shower and casually walked into my room with only a towell around his waist. And a few weeks after he wrote to me again, wanted to check up on me, and wondered if I was okay with us sleeping togheter/all that. He was just sweet and actually seemed to care. Maybe he was the one that got away.

Anyway, that must be it for today. I really got to sleep now, but thank you for being here as always. I don’t know what I would do without you. Also, thanks for letting me rant about boys.

Love, Milla

#dear charlie #milla

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years ago

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Survey #204

“welcome to the gospel of dismay.”

Have you ever started reading a book and wondered if you’d read it before? I don't believe so. What has been bothering you a lot lately? Just job stuff... My VR coach and I are having difficulty finding something suitable for me (or something I'm even qualified for) to the point it's looking like I have no choice but to reach out of my comfort zone quite a bit. Thankfully, whatever I do, she goes to work with me and my case isn't closed until I feel totally comfortable at the job, but I just don't want to hop around five times until I find something that fits. I'm just ready to be settled into a job that's not torture for me. What (or who) have you been missing lately? I've been missing Sara really, really badly. My friend Alex, too. It's seemed lately that I only matter when she wants to talk, solely about her boyfriend. As for what, motivation... It's been running low low low lately. Miss having the drive to write like I used to. Miss hobbies. I miss doing things. Are you trustworthy? Yes. Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? In few situations, such as not to hurt other's feelings. Have you ever hallucinated? When coming off of a medication, yes. I saw moving shadows. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Open. Roman would neeeever let me sleep with it closed, but even then, I prefer not to have it closed. My mom sleeps right outside my room on the couch, and even though we're sleeping, it gives me a natural sense of security to be able to see her. I'm such an infant. By God, do I need to loosen up on my attachment to her. What flags do you have in your room, if any? None. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? Recovery is the best thing, as for who, Sara. Although in some ways you could say Jason just because of how he changed me to an incredible degree and brought about the development of a lot of strength and less naivety, plus a LOT of self-discovery. I guess it depends on how you look at the question. What is the worst decision you ever made? Essentially turning Jason into a god. Letting my life depend on him loving me. Do you miss college? Jfc, I miss school PERIOD. I don't need to give the sob story about how I'm like a prisoner to my house again and how I don't really have friends. I miss having a purpose, and I neeeeed to be exposed to strangers again for social exercise, as well as hopefully to make friends. I just want something to do and work towards my career. I stg my fucking old college better get their shit together so I can go next semester. I will actually lose my shit otherwise. Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? I think I have by accident before. I still call an old teacher that's now a family friend "2nd Mom" sometimes. What is your favorite arcade game? Idk what are "normal" ones. Oh, well, do crane machines count? So rigged, but they're fun. Do you feel neglected? No, for the most part. Those most important in my life are doing everything to make sure I can handle the "real" world one day. What school subject(s) are/were your best? English, art, and science. Are you allergic to grass? No. Do you remember to water plants? I don't have any. What season is your birthday in? Winter. Name 3 creative people you know. Sara, Connie, and Emma to name just a few. Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. Markiplier for work ethic, creativity, compassion, wisdom, determination, etc. etc. etfuckingc., Shane Dawson for kindness, aaaaand uhhhh Arin Hanson for how down-to-earth and chill he is behind his goofy exterior. What color was your first car? Haven't had my first one yet. What year did you graduate? 2014. When was the last time you saw the person you currently have feelings for? Not since early February. Have you ever been scammed? Ummmm idk, maybe? Are you allergic to pollen? Yes. What style of wedding dress do you like best? Ballgown. Are you over your first love? Yes. Do you talk on the phone a lot? No. Would you rather call or text? Text, big time. Do you always answer your phone? Most times. When was the last time you went to a party? Nicole didn't really have a "party," nor did Sara, so technically my nephew's birthday in August. What was the last thing you ate? A bagel. What’s the last book you checked out from the library? I couldn't tell you. Do you have a twitter? Yeah, but I post nothing. It only exists to like Mark's shit lmao. If so, what was the last thing you tweeted? ^ Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mom. What’s the last thing you cooked on the stove? Scrambled eggs eons ago. What color is the cover of the last notebook you used? Hot pink. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Alex. Who sent the last e-mail you got? Mad Ethel's tattoo parlor. I was talking with them about enhancing my tat I got in tribute to Mark; I don't think it looks spacey enough at all, so I'm going to a more professional artist. I mean I like what it is now, but I want to love it. I got a price estimate, aaand it's probably gonna be a while. What song is currently stuck in your head? "Legs Up" by Jeffree Star bye I'mma go jump off a bridge. Do you have a favorite shape? Of basic shapes, circles. What color are the sheets on your bed? White, which I hate; between Roman and Teddy, you can tell it needs to be changed desperately. What time do you usually go to bed? It can range from very rarely as early as 7:00 (I have to be having a baaaaad day) to as late as midnight. Yeah. Do you ever use coloring books? Not anymore. Are you planning on watching the Olympics? I never do. Do you pronounce the word "often" with or without a "t" in the middle? With. Have you ever been on a trapeze? No. Do you enjoy popping bubble wrap? Omfg GIMME. Are there any waterfalls near where you live? No. Do you like seafood? No, solely shrimp prepared in certain ways. Have you ever had to wear a uniform for anything? In middle school. Then at my two jobs. If so, what did it look like? Middle school was khaki pants with plain tops of only certain colors, like white or light blue (those may have been the only options, even). I don't remember the work ones, I was there so briefly. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? No. Do you own a Polaroid camera? No. Do you enjoy baking? I don't enjoy cooking period. What’s your favorite type of flower? Orchids. Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? Back home from Illinois. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Sara. What is something you think is underrated? Hm. Probably certain shows or movies that aren't coming to mind. Ah, "The Cat in the Hat" with Mike Myers is certainly one for me. It's such a meme that it's awful, but I love that movie. Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? Like 65*F. In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? I BETTER have a stable job. How often do you travel outside of the state/province you live in? Not often at all. What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? Sigh, reading. That hobby died at the hospital, when all I had to do was read and color all day every day because the mental institutions here are godawful. I really do miss reading. What has been your favorite job you’ve had so far? Ha. What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? Just the normal spicy kind. Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? I don’t have a car. Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? Michigan. Farthest south? Florida. East? Well, here in NC. West? Illinois. How often do you run the dishwasher? We don't have one. Do you wash your face at the sink or in the shower? Sink. Name a stereotype about your gender that you don’t fit. I have no desire for kids, I hate shopping, I have no interest in fashion... Name a stereotype about your age that you don’t fit. I still don't want kids/don't have any kids. Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? Not really, but I suppose you could say my late grampa's old "cowboy" hat with feather tassels hanging on the wall is? It's aaaalways been on the walls in all our houses. Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? I dunno. I don't use any. What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? Mom majors in social work; Dad never went. Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? No. What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? I don't remember. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? Idr. How old were you when you learned how to swim? Again, idr. How do you react when someone is rude to you? I get really embarrassed for whatever reason and also verbally impulsive; you don't know what's gonna come out of my mouth. Have you ever had a friend who was too clingy? No, but then again, I don't know if "too clingy" exists for me. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? It's too goddamn hot and humid as FUCK and all the insects are out. Do you have a Netflix account? Yes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Where is your favorite place to go on vacation? Honestly, I can't even tell you. I've been on so, so few vacations, and those I have are almost exclusively to the beach, which I don't like. How long does it take to get there? The beach is ~2+ hours depending on which one we're going to. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? When I fully let Jason go, I guess. I don't think I've had a massive change since then. What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? I never go into my sister's old room. What is the last random act of kindness you did? Don't drag me for playing WoW please okay. But anyway me and another player were heading to an old raid, and I flew to the spawn point of an incredibly rare mob that drops a mount to see if it was up; he was, and the guy was super thankful I checked for him (I already had it, so it wasn't for my own benefit). Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? I do the opposite, really... as much as I hate that. I learned to finally keep the lights on in the room I'm in to combat depression, and after finding that it truly works well (if you have depression, seriously, LIGHT THAT ROOM UP), if it's even SLIGHTLY darker without it, that ceiling light's going on. Then at night, Mom likes me to keep the living room light on so it looks like more people are home (it's for safety). Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? Nooooooo. Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? I LAAAAAAAAAHV them! Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? "I’ve had sex dreams but they weren’t kinky." <<<<<<<<<< Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? I have been craaaazy about Caleb Hyles covers lately. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? Yes. That's when I finally ended the "thing" with Joel, I think. If your Facebook status doesn’t get any likes/comments, does it bother you? If it's something I actually wrote instead of something I shared (which is almost exclusively what I do), I get really self-conscious and automatically embarrassed because my head screams "NOBODY CARES." Which friend do you confide in most? Easily Sara. Do you wear a cross? No. What is your opinion on Arby's? Ew. When you have your own kitchen, how will it be done? I don't know. Haven't really thought about it, and besides, I think it'd depend on the layout. What is your favorite doughnut? Glazed. Closely followed by classic/cake. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? HA bitch we're poor. Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? Didn't read the books or watch the movies. What is your favorite party game? Mario Kart. Do you or your parents rake your yard? No. Were you pro-Obama? I was indifferent considering I didn't know enough about him. What is your favorite scent from Bath & Body Works? *shrugs* What was the last illegal thing you did? Downloaded music. Who did you last go to the movies with? Ummm... Mom, I think? What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. Do you have any family members in the military right now? No. Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? No. When was the last time you wished time would move faster? Like... every day for a long, long time now. I just want to have a job or be in school. I want to make progress towards a successful future. I know that's an extremely unhealthy desire to want to zoom through each day, but it's hard to cherish every, identical day lately. Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? No. Have you ever heard voices? Audibly? I don't think so. Do you believe in angels and demons? I don't really know. I know there's life after death, but like, I don't know if your soul is "categorized." Who is the worst neighbor you have ever had? I can't really get into that as I don't know the full story... Dad was good friends with them, but Mom got along with them too, and came divorce time, they turned evil to Mom. I don't know things that were said. Did your Barbies go on dates? I don't remember. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. She's the one who talked me through the revelation. Where did you meet your first crush? We went to the same school. Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? No. Do you ever go places with wet hair? Yeah. Who is your favorite little girl? My niece. What do you want the most in life? Happiness. What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? Letting Jason become everything. Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? I wonder quite a bit who I'd be if the breakup never happened. When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? No. Even when someone is home, I keep it cracked so it doesn't get so humid. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? Uhhhhh would any female not choose Amy Lee. What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Metal, rock, indie. Where did you buy your dishes from? I have NO idea. We've had the same fancy-ish dishes my entire life. Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? In my lifetime, no. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? I have no clue. What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? I also don't know. Have you ever been on a ship? No, just boats. Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? No. Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? David. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? I'd have to think way too long on this. ACTUALLY. Maybe the Cheshire cat, off the top of my head. What’s a class you did not take in school, but now wish you had? None. Have you ever been to either of your parents’ workplaces? Yeah. What do you think of the ‘Healthy At Every Size’ movement/philosophy? ACTUALLY fuck off. Coming from someone who is overweight, get out of here with that shit. Don't normalize an unhealthy body. Have you ever been bitten so hard that their teeth marks were there after? Uh, other than in a sexual context, I don't think so, no. WAIT NO I bit my sister's back so hard as a kid that she bled, so probably. Ever been given a hickey? (Love bite) Well read above. Ever gave one? Yeah. Are you more of an outgoing type or shy type? I'm shy as fuck. Do you think it's weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? If you do think it is, I want nothing to do with your ass. It's 2019. Are you self conscious? If so what are you self conscious about? More than words can explain. My awkwardness, stuttering, lack of comfort with eye contact, and my body. Are you flirty at all? In certain instances with an s/o. Are you racist at all? No. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) It depends on the disability. With my own issues, I need to be able to handle theirs. If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do? Call the police. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? If I was to have kids, I'd rather them be my own or wife's if I'm with a woman. But again, I don't want kids period. What would you class as cheating on someone? As soon as you're hiding shit regarding another person from your partner. Do you try to be politically correct? Only to a certain degree. What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? That's hard. I love seahorses, sea turtles, jellyfish, dolphins, whales... Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? I don't think so. As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? Studs. Do you find P.E. humiliating, or think schools shouldn’t teach it? It wasn't humiliating, at least back then when I had a healthy body. I have mixed emotions about its mandatory status... Like, exercise should absolutely be encouraged, but P.E. classes tend to be entirely inflexible in regards to accommodating different people's limits and conditions. Do you recycle? Sadly no. We have to drive to the dump in order to, and Mom got tired of it. Are you interested in current world issues? Not even nearly as much as I should. Do you think you are mature, or immature? It depends on the situation. What kind of career are you interested in? It'd be great if I could survive just off of photography, but odds are I won't be able to. So I'm trying to go back to college and major in zoology to be an out-on-the-field zoologist. Do you own a pair of sunglasses? No. Do you use bobby pins, hair clips, or elastic hair ties? Which? None; my hair is really short. When it was long, I used hair ties. How badly do you get acne? (If at all) I don't anymore, just the occasional pimple usually around that time of the month. What’s the best way to cope with a breakup? YOU ARE ASKING THE WRONG PERSON. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? For those who don't know me thoroughly, I wouldn't be even remotely surprised if someone thought I was a lazy freeloader going nowhere. I feel like most people think that anyway because I'm going through hell to get a job, don't have friends, and am not back in school yet. How many text messages do you have in your inbox atm? No unread ones. When was the last time you had a difficult decision to make? Last week or so when I deeply debated on whether or not to get rid of Kaiju (my juvenile don't-touch-me iguana). In school, what subjects do/did you find the most difficult? Math and economics. Do you still speak to the person you had your first kiss with? No. Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? I believe that was my VR coach? Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? My old high school friend Robert. This dude's working at NASA while I'm at home every day at my laptop. I'm an adult. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? My mom. What does your handwriting look like? It's a mix of (mostly) cursive and print, and I'm usually told it's "too" fancy and hard to read. Do you use any products on your hair, other than shampoo and conditioner? No. Who were your best friends in primary school? Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Do you still speak to any of them? No. What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? Probably a drink. I don't remember the last time I used one. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. What type of shoes do you find the most comfortable? Maybe Vans? Are you more masculine or feminine? Idk. If you could design your own mug, what would you put on it? Idk. Rainbow meerkat pawprints going up in a spiral around the cup? First thing that came to mind. What is the best beach you’ve been to? I've only been to two (I think), and I don't care enough about beaches or remember well enough to answer this. What is one thing you physically can’t do? There is no way in Heaven or Hell I could clean up vomit without hurling myself. Have you ever been to a funeral? Yes. Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? No. Have you ever visited your nation’s capitol building? No. Do/did you have a favorite seat in church? No. What is your favorite park? Disney World, of course. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No. Do you chew gum regularly? No. Where did you go on your first train ride? N/A Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship? Most likely. What sports teams do you root for, if any? (Extra points for Boston fans.) None, really. I grew up automatically biased to the Carolina Hurricanes in hockey thanks to Dad, but I don't actually care. Do you dunk your cookies in milk? Oreos, preferably. Others, sometimes. What is something you are confident about? My knowledge of meerkats. Have you ever been physically addicted to a substance? What? I don't really know if this "counts" as it was the product of severe anxiety over vomiting, but in middle school, I would constantly think I was going to be sick and took one Peptobismol literally everyday at school, usually in I think second period when my anxiety was bad enough. It finally ended when we ran out and I had to go without it and I saw I was okay. I was so happy when that shit ended. How do you feel about needles? Eh. The feeling is obviously unpleasant, but they don't bother me much; not at all for tattoos. Getting shots or blood drawn is a bit more "ew" because of the needle's length. But anyway, in general, needles are okay. What is your favorite accent to listen to? Maybe French for women, British for men. Or British for both, idk. What was the reason you last got dressed up? Went job hunting with my VR coach. Have you ever been the subject of cruel rumors? Not really cruel, no. ^ What were they? N/A Do you prefer loose or form-fitting clothing? A bit loose. ^ What about on your preferred gender? I like both men and women, so. I tend to like more form-fitting on women and looser on men. Maybe. Idk actually. But pants. Give me skinny jeans on everyone. What do you do when you are really, really mad? Be WAY too impulsive about what comes out of my mouth. And I cry. Would you rather go naked than wear fur? Omfg don't do this. I guess wear fur. I hate my body too much. But I'd feel absolutely godawful. Do you put a line through your 7's? Yes. ^ What about your Z's? Yes. What is one thing that someone could do to you that is unforgivable? More than anything else, rape. Are you able to forgive and forget? It's rare I'm unable to forgive, but forget? Nope. Do you like cold pizza? Yeah. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries. Kiwi, too. What about your favorite fruit juice, if it differs from solid fruit? Peach/mango mix. Do you like broccoli and cheese? Oh my god in Heaven, yes. What about potatoes and cheese? Yeah. Have you written a letter by hand, lately? To whom? Not lately. Toaster or toaster oven? I've only ever had a toaster oven. I like how you can see if something is starting to burn, anyway. What are you most known for? Likes meerkats more than she likes 99% of the human population. I keep my worship of Mark Fischfuckface on the down low irl so meerkats win overall. Do you have any reputations? What are they? I don't think so. Do you wear band shirts? Yeah. ^ What band was on the last one you wore? Uh... shit. I think Metallica? It's rare I have to put on "real" clothes now (yes, I stay in pjs all day bc I never leave the house), so idrk. Do you own any hats? Describe them. No. What about masks, you got any? Describe those. No. What was the last thing to leave you speechless? Watching the spire of the Cathedral collapse yesterday. That whole thing broke my heart. I know the serious valuables were saved, but still, there was so much damage to 800 years of incredible art and history. Do your parents like your friends? If they don’t, why not? I have like... one irl, serious friend. They both love him. Have you been called a bad influence? Yes. As if she wasn't an awful one. Describe your favorite pair of socks. They're covered in meerkats. :'D Thanks, big sister. Have you experienced any life-changing news, events, etc, lately? No. Have any self-done piercings? No, not doing that shit. I'm too serious about piercings being done well and in the most hygienic manner. Ever pierced someone else? No, for the same reasons as above. Do you get distracted easily? Holy shit, yes. Is talking to strangers enjoyable for you, or stressful? It's anxiety-inducing as hell. How do you feel about getting new neighbors? Idc. How many ceiling fans are in your home? None. Do you tweet your life away? I don't use it. How do you feel about shameless self promoting? Ever since actually trying to get out in the freelance photography world, I get it, as uncomfortable as it is. HOWEVER, there are absolutely places where doing it is inappropriate. When reading words. like. this. do. you always pause after the periods? Yeah. What about screaming when reading something IN ALL CAPS? Yeah.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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notesofarichlycolorednight · 6 years ago

Note

What do you think about the opinion that Luke could've just left Kronos when he asked Annabeth to go with him,instead of just giving his body? Do you agree with it?

not really bc the fact that he went to annabeth instead of just leaving communicates that he couldn’t leave kronos without annabeth at his side

idk if he meant literally, or not, but i reckon that it’s more emotional and psychological than anything else

i think symbolically, luke going to annabeth and begging her to come with him after learning about what kronos planned to do, is luke reaching for his old life, for his past, when it was just him, thalia, and annabeth as a family, on the run. in his most desperate hour, he fell back onto the only life that felt stable (ironically enough)

he never considered his house with his mom a home. and he never truly considered chb a home bc of what happened to thalia, and then when he was issued his own quest and what happened during that

i mean, i think logically and rationally, luke could’ve been like, “fuck that” and left kronos, yeah. but the context surrounding his decision is important to the decision he made

was it shitty of him to put that kind of weight on annabeth’s shoulders? yeah, of course. but i don’t think this was a logical or rational decision on his part, at all.

even tho luke is older, the context in which he’s grown up has not taught him healthy ways of dealing with his emotions. so he may as well have the emotionally maturity of a 14-15 year old, maybe even younger, bc he grew up in such an abusive household (now i know that may had no control over what the oracle’s curse did to her, but for one, she did have control over deciding to take on the oracle when she had a baby to take care of, and for two, regardless of what happened to her, neglect is abuse, plain and simple)

so bc of that, and finding out what kronos was actually going to do, he made the only decision that felt safe for him–going to annabeth (since thalia was with the hunters at that point)

without annabeth, even if he had gone off on his own, i don’t think he would’ve lasted. he was at his lowest low when going to annabeth, and probably fell lower than he thought he could when she rejected him.

so if he had left kronos then, in such a state, without anyone else to go to, without any place to call home, and without healthy coping mechanisms bc of his upbringing, and everything that happened afterward (can i get a run-on sentence for 500 alex?) he most likely would’ve killed himself. that, or let the monsters kronos sent to hunt him down kill him (or smth like that, since he’d taken on the curse of achilles by that point)

if someone (like a demigod) found him before that, i think that he maybe would’ve made it. maybe smth similar would have happened like if he had survived the second titan war

but it’s really hard to say.

it’s reasonable enough to assume that if i think he would’ve killed himself had he gone off on his own, without annabeth, he maybe would have killed himself instead of going back to kronos, skipping over the going off by himself part. but i think after she rejected him he turned back to his bitterness and hatred, rather than developing suicidal thoughts

let me explain,

when he made the decision to go ask annabeth to run away with him, i think he saw a glimmer of hope for his future, his fate that his mom went on and on abt, that he had to endure hearing abt for 9 years

but when she rejected him, the glimmer of hope disappeared and he felt he was only left with one option–fulfilling the prophecy, walking toward his fate, and becoming kronos. again, he wasn’t thinking rationally or logically at that point. there were definitely other options, but more often than not, even when we’re not under that kind of pressure, we’re good at boxing ourselves in to the illusion that we only have two options

and luke did that to the extreme

like, yes, i think he may try to kill himself, but only if he decided to go off on his own--not with annabeth and not back to kronos. bc then he would be at his lowest point, without anyone to pull him back from the precipice. he would have time to think and mull over everything he’d done, etc.

but i don’t think he considered it an alternative option in that moment annabeth rejected him. and it was no longer an option once he was back in kronos’s clutches

i hope that answered your question! and i hope that last part made sense. i have never been suicidal, so if something seems off abt my explanation, feel free to tell me and i’ll discuss it with you/change stuff to clarify what i mean

thanks for sending this in!! sorry it got really dark at the end there

to the last anon who sent in luke/tori stuff, i will try my damnedest to get to it, but i’m running out of steam for today XP i just want you to know i haven’t been ignoring you; i promise i’ll get to your ask as soon as i can. thanks for your patience T_T

FEED ME SEYMOUR

#oh god for shame! i do not even know your name #notesofananonymousnight #asked and answered #suicide tw #luke castellan #pjo meta #annabeth chase

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kpopfanfictrash · 7 years ago

Text

Cordially, Jimin

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jimin

Rating: R (mentions of sex)

Word Count: 6,175

Summary: When you start work in your new office, the last thing you expect is a distraction. Especially not one as cute, witty and impossible to handle as Park Jimin. A story told through correspondence. (fluff + humor)

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [10:23 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

Hey, Joon! I was thinking about the spreadsheet you sent over this morning. Do you think we should add some sort of documentation to it regarding the employee’s training status? Just in case there’s overlap between the sessions. Let me know what you think but otherwise, I agree with your changes.

PS, are we still on for lunch?

All the best,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [10:45 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

‘Sup, Park.

Yeah, throw the training into the excel spreadsheet. The executives will likely want to know.

Lunch is good, but I can only do a half hour. I’m leaving early to take the girlfriend out to dinner.

Fondly,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [10:59 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

“’Sup, Park”? Dude, at least try to keep things professional. Who knows what HR monitors in our email.

... and is tonight the night you and Fal finally... you know?

Sincerest wishes,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [11:15 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

I just leaned over to ask HR and Kim’s response was: “f*** no, I don’t monitor your email. What do you think I’m made out of, free time?” Then she threw up the middle finger.

Also, shut your pie hole about me and Fal. Talk about inappropriate work conversation.

Warmest thoughts,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [11:21 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

Why’d you use asterisks if they’re not monitoring our emails?

Hugs and kisses,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [11:29 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

Oh, right. Swearing is monitored. It sends a warning to IT, which sends an email to your manager. This is also triggered by writing s*x, pen15, or the jolly, green giant’s name.

Steer clear of those, Jiminie and you’ll be fine.

Ardently yours,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [11:34 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

I thought you were the jolly, green giant? Tall, relatively new to the office (green). It fits. Ha!

Anyways, for lunch I thought we could meet – oh, sweet lord. Who is that?

F***. Got to go.

Cordially,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [11:37 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

What? What?? JIMIN. You can’t just leave me hanging. Who did you see? What did you see? Was it something outside of your office window? Is the Avengers finally happening? Is the city under attack?

... I’m going to k*ll you at lunch.

Impatiently yours,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

Tuesday, October 10th [11:45 AM]

Jimin: sorry, man. I just saw the most beautiful girl in the world. You know how my office overlooks the street and sees into the building next door?

Namjoon: you little sack of fungus. How dare you leave me hanging like that

Namjoon: … but yes, I do know. Go on.

Jimin: cool. So, there I was sitting in my office. Contemplating world peace, the usual.

Namjoon: translation – thinking about jacking off when you get home

Jimin: sometimes your words hurt, you know

Namjoon: apologies, jimini muffin

Jimin: I swear to god.

Namjoon: ok, ok – sorry. Tell me about this girl

Jimin: you mean tell you about my future wife?

Namjoon: you use that phrase too liberally, Jimin. Your dog walker is not your future wife. Your florist is not your future wife. This random chick across the street is not your future wife.

Jimin: no, Peaches’ dog walker is not my future wife; no, Fran is not my future wife. But this random girl is – LISTEN. She’s exactly my type, Joon. She looks smart. You think that she’s smart?

Namjoon: Is she wearing glasses?

Jimin: no

Namjoon: Then, no.

Jimin: she could be wearing contacts

Namjoon: Then, yes.

Jimin: okay, I’ll cave. Why are you basing her intelligence off whether or not she wears glasses?

Namjoon: wearing glasses implies she stayed up late reading in her youth, subsequently ruining her vision

Jimin: or… she didn’t eat enough carrots

Namjoon: or that

Jimin: I think that she’s new there – she must be; she looks really worried. It’s adorable, she keeps on biting her bottom lip. I think the Angry, Red-Haired Woman Who Yells a Lot is her boss because she keeps stopping by her cubicle to talk.

Namjoon: Big Red is her boss? Damn. Good luck to your future wife

Jimin: omg she has Gudetama pencils. Namjoon

Namjoon: Marry her, Jimin. Okay, enough creeping – let’s go and get lunch. I’m starving.

Tuesday, October 10th

Hello. I am typing. Typing, typing, typing.

Just typing on my brand-new LAPTOP the company PROVIDED for me! Granted, it’s to do my work, I know but it’s just so SHINY and NEW. Catherine even gave me a welcome package of office supplies when I got here. It has paper, pens (not as good as my Gudetama ones), a notepad, post-it notes. It’s adorable. Everyone has been so welcoming today – though the guy in the mail room did warn me that Catherine spits when she yells.

I’m not sure what to do with that information.

How do I shield myself from spit-yelling? Gah, I feel stupid for writing this note diary-format. I’m trying to pretend like I’m busy, since I haven’t been given any official work yet. Oh, wait! Catherine just sent over training for this afternoon. Perfect.

Hm. What now. What now, what now, what – OH.

Oh, god. Oh, yikes. HELP.

I am… looking at my laptop. I am looking at my laptop and concentrating on writing. I am not making eye contact with the very handsome man across the street.

Listen. You don’t know me, Laptop but I swear I’m usually a very level headed individual. It’s one of my best qualities – Y/N, the stable, the realistic. I don’t typically subscribe to the notion that looks make a person. But Laptop, wow. This guy. He’s – how do I describe? He’s got blondish hair. On the shorter side. I didn’t get a great look at his face, but from what I did see, he looked – kind? Is that a weird thing to say? His face looked kind.

I don’t know how else to describe him. He was stretching, arms overhead and I swear, Laptop, I don’t normally say things like this but – WHAT. AN. ASS. ON. THAT. MAN.

WOW. You could bounce a quarter off that thing.

Oh my god. What am I doing??

Okay. Okay. Catherine is here, we’re going to lunch. I –

Thursday, October 12th [3:45 PM]

Office Instant Message [3:47 PM]

Min, Yoongi: hey

Office Instant Message [3:48 PM]

Park, Jimin: hello, sunshine

Office Instant Message [3:49 PM]

Min, Yoongi: gag me. Listen, you want to shoot hoops after work?

Office Instant Message [3:51 PM]

Park, Jimin: yeah! Where?

Office Instant Message [3:52 PM]

Min, Yoongi: Bryant Park. I’ll drop a pin to your cell. John Cook is coming, so bring your A-game

Office Instant Message [3:53 PM]

Park, Jimin: … who?

Office Instant Message [3:53 PM]

Park, Jimin: wtf? Do you mean Jungkook?

Office Instant Message [3:54 PM]

Min, Yoongi: yeah, that’s what I said

Office Instant Message [3:55 PM]

Park, Jimin: you’re one weird dude, Yoongi. But sure, see you then

“Hey, sis, it’s me. Sorry, I’m leaving you a voice note – I know you hate those – but I’m currently walking with both hands full, so it couldn’t be helped. Now you can’t say I never call you back! Because here I am, calling you back! Anyways, the third day went well. A lot of training, some overly wordy manuals – you know, the fun stuff. I have my own cubicle though, which is exciting and I have a window. It overlooks – well, the street and an office building. Actually… there’s this really cute guy in that building, Megan. I know – it’s totally creepy to spy on him, but I can’t help it! He’s right there! And he has the most amazing smile, I – wait, oh my god. It’s him. It’s him, Megan, the guy from the window! He’s playing basketball in Bryant Park, along with a bunch of other guys and I, OOF –"

Thursday, October 12th [8:35 PM]

Namjoon: how’s that egg on your face?

Jimin: how’s that who on my what now

Namjoon: Egg on your face. It’s what you say when someone looks foolish or embarrassed. You, I imagine, look both right now

Jimin: choke on a dick

Namjoon: is that what you say to your friend who loves you

Jimin: to my friend who loves torturing me, yeah

Namjoon: I just keep on seeing your FACE, man. You just whammed that poor girl smack in the stomach hahaha

Jimin: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Jimin: fuck

Jimin: I didn’t mean to :(

Jimin: I was trying to throw the ball to Yoongi… and she was so pretty… and my hand slipped. THE BALL WAS POSSESSED

Namjoon: … you done?

Jimin: with living? Yes. With this conversation? Also yes.

Namjoon: cheer up, man. She seemed fine after

Jimin: god

Namjoon: Jungkook helped her off the court, it’s all good

Jimin: fucking John Cook

Namjoon: what

Jimin: nothing

Jimin: … do you think she was into him?

Namjoon: oh my god. Are you serious?

Jimin: no

Jimin: maybe

Jimin: fuck, what am I doing?

Namjoon: idk man, go to sleep

Jimin: it’s not even nine

Namjoon: shhhhh

Jimin: … ok, fine I’ll go to sleep

Saturday, October 14th [11:10 AM]

Jungkook: hey, Jimin

Jimin: hey, what’s up Jeon

Jungkook: not much

Jungkook: listen, you know that girl you hit with the ball on Thursday?

Jimin: … yeah

Jungkook: lol that was embarrassing

Jimin: do you have a point

Jungkook: she was pretty cute, right?

Jimin: yeah, pretty cute

Jimin: why are you telling me this, anyways? Is it sharing hour?

Jungkook: damn, man. Can’t I let my feelings out? Anyways – we’ve been texting and I was thinking about asking her out. Her name is Y/N, she works in the building across the street from yours!

Jimin: ok

Jimin: ... again, why are you telling me this?

Jungkook. Getting to that. When I told Namjoon, he said you have dibs

Jimin: what?? On Y/N?

Jungkook: did the two of you like, hook up or something

*Jimin has added Namjoon to the chat*

Jimin: Joon, wtf are you telling Jungkook about me

Namjoon: ‘sup, peons

Namjoon: nothing

Namjoon: just that you’re in love with a girl you’ve never met

Jungkook: wait, they’ve never met? Idk if that constitutes dibs, man

Namjoon: yes, it does. Dibs is granted unto whichever gentleman doth see the lady first

Jungkook: whoa, sees? That’s implied dibs! That goes against the whole spirit of the idea! You must call dibs, in order to have it

Jimin: this is the stupidest argument we’ve ever had

Jungkook: Agreed. No dibs

Namjoon: Jimin, what do you think?

Jungkook: Jimin, just let me bang her. Once. You can have her after that

*Jimin has left the chat*

Namjoon: don’t do it, bro. He really likes her

Jungkook: he’s never even TALKED to her!

Namjoon: respect the code, bro. Respect the code.

Namjoon: besides don’t you have like, a list of girls you can call

Jungkook: 😉

Namjoon: gross

Monday, October 16th

Week two at the office.

Everything is going well. No major screw-ups, which is good and I completed my first Excel assignment, so basically... I’m on the road to success. Who knew there were so many ways you can add? It’s hard to type though, since I screwed up my pinky finger. Well – I didn’t screw up my finger. I was walking home from work and this guy pummeled me with a basketball.

Okay, but get this – the guy who hit me? THE SAME ONE FROM THE WINDOW, LAPTOP. The guy I wrote you about on my first day! He’s even cuter in person but... ah, I don’t think he likes me. After the whole Basketball Incident, he barely even looked my way. It was his friend who helped me off the court – Jungkook is his name – he even gave me a band-aid and apologized for his friend.

Jungkook’s cute. He’s nice, I gave him my number and we talked a bit. But Window guy, Laptop. Window guy’s cheeks turned bright red haha it was adorable, I – oh, shit.

Don’t look now, Laptop (I SAID, DON’T LOOK!) but it’s him. Window guy is back. He’s standing in the middle of his office and stretching his arms. He’s lowering himself to the desk and holy shit.................. he’s doing push-ups. PUSH-UPS.

What did I do to deserve this?!

I – I’ll be back, Laptop.

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:11 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

She has peonies on her desk. They’re pink.

Kind regards,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:24 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

… are you kidding me? You can’t title the email important and then say that.

Your ex-friend,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:28 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

That was important.

Thank you,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:32 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

Remind me to get you a dictionary for your birthday. That’s not what the word important means. So, does this mean you’re back to liking her? I thought you told Jungkook to have at her.

Cheers,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:40 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

Listen. I have no claim upon this woman. I do not own the beautiful, wonderful Window girl. She is a person unto herself, master of her own fate! If she wants to date Jeon Jungkook, so be it.

She should know though, that his feet smell.

xoxo,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:46 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

Ah, the high road. What’s it like up there? Lofty? Breezy?

As a gift, I found something for you: www.instagram.com/peoniesandparkas

Enjoy,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:50 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

What. Namjoon, how did you find this?

Where did you – oh, god. She’s adorable. She has a puppy, she likes chocolate. I like chocolate. Namjoon, its fate, its kismet, its meant to be. Our children would be so chubby.

Why did you send me this??

Pissed off and in love,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

Wednesday, October 18th [10:42 AM]

Megan: how’s the finger?

Y/N: not broken! 100% doctor confirmed, it’s just a mild sprain. Should be okay in a few weeks.

Megan: did the delinquent ever apologize?

Y/N: Megan!

Y/N: I told you yesterday, he did apologize. He just, you know… ran away after

Megan: like I said – idiot

Y/N: I doubt he’s an idiot, Megan. I can see into his office and he wears suits to work. That’s the indicator of a very important person.

Megan: wow.

Megan: I can’t believe you’re crushing on the guy who sprained your finger

Y/N: I AM NOT CRUSHING ON HIM

Megan: I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of your love

Y/N: fight me

Y/N: I’m sorry, that was uncalled for

Megan: lolol

Megan: so, he works in the office next door?

Y/N: yeah

Y/N: sorry, was multitasking.

Megan: No problem. Have you ever thought about looking the guy up?

Y/N: what? Look him up where?

Megan: On LinkedIn. You already know his company, his face. Just… browse their list of current employees

Y/N: omg what!! That’s so fucking creepy

Megan: You’re right. Much less creepy to watch him do push-ups in his office

Y/N: … I told you that in confidence

Y/N: so much for sisterly love

Megan: dooooooo it

Y/N: … already am

Megan: YSE!

Megan: *YES!

Y/N: *drumroll please*

Y/N: Park Jimin, 24 years old. Senior Analyst of Internal Audit, joined the company two years ago. Is proficient in English, Korean and Microsoft Office 2013. Hobbies include: cooking, chasing his dog in the park for exercise and anime.

Megan: wow, what a dork

Y/N: You wouldn’t think that if you saw his ass.

Megan: omg

Megan: you love him so much

Y/N: asldfkajskldfa

Y/N: I DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM

Thursday, October 19th [1:00 PM]

Office Instant Message [1:01 PM]

Park, Jimin: well, Namjoon. It finally happened.

Office Instant Message [1:03 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: You finally got that growth spurt you’ve been hoping for?

Office Instant Message [1:04 PM]

Park, Jimin: I’m small but I’m feisty. I’d kick your a$$ in a fight

Office Instant Message [1:05 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: lol, no need for that. What happened?

Office Instant Message [1:06 PM]

Park, Jimin: I talked to her.

Office Instant Message [1:07 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: holy f*** WHAT?! When?

Office Instant Message [1:07 PM]

Park, Jimin: just now, over lunch. I went to that deli, you know the one?

Office Instant Message [1:08 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: the one with the cashier, Taehyung, who sings?

Office Instant Message [1:09 PM]

Park, Jimin: that’s the one. So, I walk in and she’s standing by the door. Confused as hell by Taehyung’s rendition of Take Me to Lunch (a poignant rendition of Hozier’s Take Me to Church)

Office Instant Message [1:10 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: well, sure. Who isn’t confused by that. Anyways, what did you say??

Office Instant Message [1:11 PM]

Park, Jimin: I apologized for hitting her, like twelve times. She sprained her pinky finger – can you believe that? I felt like complete shit when she told me

Office Instant Message [1:12 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: Wow. You are an idiot. What did you do next? What did you say?

Office Instant Message [1:14 PM]

Park, Jimin: God, I don’t even remember. It happened so fast. I just – she’s so pretty, Namjoon. Not in a cheesy, movie-star way but in an everything-she-does-is-real way. You know? God, I don’t even know. I just keep picturing her in my room… my car… my jacket

Office Instant Message [1:15 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: I thought you said not cheesy

Office Instant Message [1:16 PM]

Park, Jimin: shut up

Office Instant Message [1:17 PM]

Park, Jimin: I can’t stop smiling

Office Instant Message [1:25 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: Sorry, the boss stopped by my desk. Did you ask her out?

Office Instant Message [1:26 PM]

Park, Jimin: no

Office Instant Message [1:27 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: you’re the worst

Office Instant Message [1:28 PM]

Park, Jimin: I know this

From: Jordan, Elizabeth

To: Y/L/N, Y/N

Subject: Apologies

Monday, October 23rd [4:06 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

Hi Y/N,

I’m the one who messed up that PO form. It was my fault, but when Catherine asked who did it, I just froze. I couldn’t think, let alone speak and I know she blamed you for the mistake; I heard her yelling over in your cubicle. If you’d like, I can set things straight with her.

I’ll fix it; I promise to tell Catherine it was my fault.

I am so unbelievably sorry.

Thank you,

Liz

Analyst, Purchasing

555-1114

From: Y/L/N, Y/N

To: Jordan, Elizabeth

Subject: Re: Apologies

Monday, October 23rd [4:35 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

Hi Liz,

I appreciate the apology. I know last week was stressful and busy for everyone – a lot of things slipped through the cracks. I’d like to just let this go, but if something like it happens again – I’d appreciate the clarification. Here’s hoping for a better week, huh?

Best,

Y/N

Analyst, Training

555-0821

From: Park, Jimin

To: 9th Street Florist

Subject: Urgent Order

Monday, October 23rd [5:30 PM]

Non-Confidential, External

Hello Fran,

I’d like to place an order: one (1) bouquet of blush pink peonies, please.

Recipient name: Y/N

Address: 1010 LaSalle Street, Floor 16

Timing: Lunchtime, around noon if possible

You can just add this to my account. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: 9th Street Florist

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Urgent Order

Monday, October 23rd [6:30 PM]

Jimin!

You adorable angel, of course! What would you like the card to say, dear? Oh, you know what – I’ll just give you a ring on your mobile.

Kisses,

Fran

555-8934

Co-Owner of 9th Street Florist

Tuesday, October 24th [5:42 PM]

Y/N: Megan, you’re not going to believe what happened today

Megan: What?

Y/N: Someone sent me flowers

Megan: Flowers??

Y/N: FLOWERS

Megan: But who??

Y/N: Idk. There’s no card.

Y/N: Wait, there is a card!

Megan: What does it say??

Y/N: It reads, “Here’s hoping your week gets better.”

Megan: … that’s all?

Y/N: It’s a very short card.

Megan: No name?

Y/N: No name. I have no idea who sent them?

Megan: Hm

Megan: Maybe from that Jungkook guy? You two were texting, right?

Y/N: yeah, but then he just stopped

Y/N: Asshole. I doubt it was him lol

Megan: What about hot window guy? Did you guys ever talk after that one day at the deli?

Y/N: No :( Idk, I thought our conversation was nice… but maybe I was boring.

Megan: Shut up. I hate it when you repeat anything that stupid, nincompoop ex-boyfriend of yours used to say. He’s a fucking turd. You’re amazing.

Y/N: Gah. Thanks, sis

Y/N: Either way, I doubt it was him

Megan: Maybe they’re from Mom. Did you tell her about your shit day yesterday?

Y/N: oh.

Y/N: you’re right. They’re probably from Mom

Megan: You sound disappointed. Who did you think they were from?

Y/N: nothing

Y/N: no one

Wednesday, October 25th [8:35 AM]

Office Instant Message [8:35 AM]

Park, Jimin: oh my god, I’m so stupid

Office Instant Message [8:40 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: sure

Office Instant Message [8:40 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: but why this time?

Office Instant Message [8:41 AM]

Park, Jimin: I forgot to put my name on the card

Office Instant Message [8:43 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: Wow.

Office Instant Message [8:44 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: You are stupid. How do you get out of bed in the morning without a map?

Office Instant Message [8:45 AM]

Park, Jimin: shut up

Office Instant Message [8:45 AM]

Park, Jimin: … very carefully

From: Wine, Fallon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Life Advice

Thursday, October 26th [11:40 AM]

Jimin!

I’ve been thinking about what Joonie said to me last night.

He explained about your Window girl and Jiminie, you just need to talk to her! I know you did that one time in the deli – or was it two times? – but listen to me!

You! Are! Cute! As! A! Button! Any girl would be lucky to have you. I mean, half of my friends do want you, but that’s beside the point. You need to get over whatever this insecure nonsense is and just ask her out.

That’s all.

Love,

Fallon

PS, has she worn that coat from Instagram into the office yet? Is it really that bright shade of red?

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: What is wrong with you

Thursday, October 26th [1:15 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

You told Fal?? You showed her Y/N’s INSTAGRAM??

Whatever happened to boundaries

The opposite-of-warm wishes,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: What is wrong with you

Thursday, October 26th [1:31 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

Boundaries? Oh, the irony. Have you peeped through any good windows lately?

Devotedly,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: What is wrong with you

Thursday, October 26th [1:40 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

… I hate when my past wrongs come back to haunt me.

Embarrassedly,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

Thursday, October 26th [5:10 PM]

“Hey, Megan! It’s me, Y/N. Sorry to leave you another voice note, but I’m carrying home these peonies and my hands are full. Anyways, I was just – oh, hey!’

‘Hi.’

‘Uh, what are you doing here? It’s Jimin, right?’

‘Yeah, Jimin. Y/N, right?’

‘Right.’

‘I, uh – I’m here because I’m waiting for a friend who works in this building. His name is Hoseok, do you know him?’

‘Can’t say that I do, but then again – I’m new. He could just work on a different floor.’

‘Ah, right. What floor are you on?’

‘Sixteen.’

‘Gotcha. Hoseok is on ten – but that’s funny.’

‘What is?’

‘Well, I work over in that building.’

‘That one on the corner?’

‘That’s it! I also work on the sixteenth floor. What are the odds? What side do you face?’

‘Right over… there.’

‘No way. Haha, my office is right … there.’

‘So close! I bet that if you looked, you could see me.’

‘I bet that I could. Maybe I’ll look for you tomorrow.’

‘That would be nice. I – uh, is your friend coming down, or…?’

‘Ah, right. Yeah, Hoseok shouldn’t be more than a few minutes. There’s this dog store by his place I’ve been meaning to go to.’

‘Dog store? You have a dog?’

‘Yeah, her name is – ah, this is embarrassing. Her name is Peaches.’

‘Peaches?’

‘Don’t laugh! Haha but yeah, Peaches. My friend’s girlfriend kept on calling her that as a joke and it kind of stuck.’

‘Ah... your friend’s girlfriend? Not yours?’

‘Nope. Me, I’m hopelessly single.’

‘Except for Peaches.’

‘Well, sure. Except for Peaches.’

‘Interesting.’

‘Yeah… those flowers are pretty. Peonies, right?’

‘Right… yes. Peonies. Thank you – they were a gift.’

‘Really? From your boyfriend?’

‘Nope. I think from my Mom.’

‘You think? Haha, isn’t that something you should know?’

‘Well, she keeps saying she didn’t send them – but come on. Who else would send me flowers?’

‘Well, I – ’

‘Jimin!’

‘Hey… Hoseok.’

‘Oh, shit! I’m still recording, how embar – ’

Friday, October 27th [9:37 AM]

Jimin: Namjoon. She left me a post-it note message.

Namjoon: a… what?

Jimin: A post-it note message. A message written entirely in post-it notes on her window.

Namjoon: what

Namjoon: what does the message say?

Jimin: “can you see this?”

Jimin: I can

Jimin: I can see it, Namjoon

Namjoon: oh my god, she’s just as dorky as you are

Namjoon: also, did I miss something? Since when do you two converse?

Jimin: since I took Fal’s advice and went to see her

Namjoon: you WHAT?

Namjoon: … there’ll be no living with her after this.

Jimin: Yeah, I went. I told her about Peaches and then chickened out before I could tell her about the flowers

Namjoon: wow

Namjoon: you’re still an idiot. But maybe only half of one

Jimin: thx man, I’m gonna cry

Jimin: … she left me a message

Jimin: 😊😊

Monday, October 30th [10:37 AM]

Office Instant Message [10:37 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: hey, Y/N! Coffee last week was fun. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to make it a daily thing?

Office Instant Message [10:39 AM]

Y//L/N, Y/N: yes, of course! Sounds perfect :)

Office Instant Message [10:40 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: amazing.

Office Instant Message [10:40 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: on a side note, have you looked out the window today?

Office Instant Message [10:41 AM]

Y//L/N, Y/N: not today, no – why?

Office Instant Message [10:43 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: ohh haha okay, long story. So, there’s this super-hot guy in the building next door that we all creep on. Today he’s wearing some sort of fuzzy yellow blanket and put this message in post-it notes on the window?? It’s the oddest thing

Office Instant Message [10:44 AM]

Y//L/N, Y/N: omg. Gudetama!! It’s a Gudetama blanket!

Office Instant Message [10:45 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: Gude-what now?

Office Instant Message [10:46 AM]

Y//L/N, Y/N: it’s hard to explain lol

Office Instant Message [10:47 AM]

Y//L/N, Y/N: it’s this beloved, depressed, Japanese egg

Office Instant Message [10:48 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: uh haha okay

Office Instant Message [10:49 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: what about his message? What do you think it means?

Office Instant Message [10:49 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: “I like your pens.”

Office Instant Message [10:51 AM]

Y//L/N, Y/N: asldkfjalskdjaf

“Hello, this is Kim Seokjin. You have reached the front desk of Bangtan Incorporated. For quality assurance purposes, the following phone call will be recorded and monitored. How may I help you today?”

“Hi, there! I need to speak to Park Jimin. He’s the Senior Analyst of Internal Audit for Bangtan Incorporated.”

“Absolutely, ma’am. To what should I say this is referring?”

“Gudetama.”

“Like – the egg?”

“Yes, Seokjin. Like the egg. Tell him that it’s very important.”

“I – uh, sure. I mean, wonderful – your happiness is our top priority. Connecting you to Mr. Park now.”

Monday, November 6th [9:30 AM]

Office Instant Message [9:30 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: why did you text Fal, asking her what kind of coffee girls drink

Office Instant Message [9:32 AM]

Park, Jimin: why do you and Fal tell each other EVERYTHING

Office Instant Message [9:33 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: get your own damn girlfriend if you want to keep secrets

Office Instant Message [9:34 AM]

Park, Jimin: I just wanted to know for science

Office Instant Message [9:35 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: I know you’re not seeing anyone right now, Jimin but you have met a girl, right? Get her normal coffee.

Office Instant Message [9:37 AM]

Park, Jimin: just… have Fal answer me, okay?

Office Instant Message [9:39 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: she says get her plain coffee but buy different creamers/sugar so she can make her own

Office Instant Message [9:40 AM]

Park, Jimin: brilliant. Give Fal the good lovin’ tonight, Joon

Office Instant Message [9:42 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: I’m going to kill you

Office Instant Message [9:43 AM]

Park, Jimin: Got to catch me first. I’m quick

From: Park, Jimin

To: Jung, Hoseok

Subject: Question

Monday, November 6th [6:50 PM]

Non-Confidential, External

Hey, Hoseok!

I was wondering if you could do me a favor. I need to drop something off at a friend’s desk in your building. Could you let me in tomorrow morning?

Sincerely,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Jung, Hoseok

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Question

Monday, November 6th [7:05 PM]

Non-Confidential, External

Sure thing! Just let me know the time.

Side note – Yoongi keeps asking when we’re playing ball again. Are you and Jungkook over your little spat yet?

Regards,

Hoseok

Lead, IT Security

555-0218

Tuesday, November 7th

Laptop – he left me coffee.

He keeps on denying it. I called him earlier (that Kim Seokjin at reception is such a sweetheart) and he said it wasn’t him – but Laptop, I could see him laughing through the window! He was grinning that stupid handsome smile, so I know it was him. I mentioned to him last week that my building was cold and what was his response? Drink more coffee.

I know it was Jimin – that’s his name, Laptop, Jimin – I just know it.

Laptop. I think I might be falling for him.

Wednesday, November 8th [3:01 PM]

Office Instant Message [3:01 PM]

Park, Jimin: I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m going crazy

Office Instant Message [3:02 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: then ask her the f*** out and stop bothering me

Office Instant Message [3:03 PM]

Park, Jimin: what if she doesn’t like me though

Office Instant Message [3:05 PM]

Park, Jimin: what if she just puts up with me because the flirting is funny, but when I ask her out – it becomes too real and she bails

Office Instant Message [3:06 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: Jimin

Office Instant Message [3:07 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: I am only going to say this once, so listen

Office Instant Message [3:08 PM]

Park, Jimin: okay, listening

Office Instant Message [3:10 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: You’re an amazing guy. This girl has been flirting with you for weeks. You like her, right? Even if she doesn’t like you – which is dumb, because she does – do you really want to live the rest of your life watching her from behind glass?

Office Instant Message [3:12 PM]

Park, Jimin: huh

Office Instant Message [3:14 PM]

Park, Jimin: for being such a dick, you’re surprisingly insightful

Office Instant Message [3:15 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: annnd the moment’s over

Office Instant Message [3:15 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: go get laid

From: Min, Yoongi

To: Y/L/N, Y/N

Subject: Idk what to title this

Thursday, November 9th [4:00 PM]

Non-Confidential, External

Hi Y/N,

Listen. This is probably weird, since we’ve barely spoken. I got your email address from Namjoon, who got it from Hoseok – and now I’m realizing you might not know who either of those people are. Well. I’m sending this as a formal request to please ask out Park Jimin. He’s madly in love with you, and the stress is really throwing off his basketball game.

I need to win these games, Y/N. If we lose, the youth win.

Don’t let the youth win.

In summary: ask out Jimin, save my game. Oh, yeah – and have a good day

Best,

Yoongi

Manager, HR

555-0309

From: Y/L/N, Y/N

To: 9th Street Florist

Subject: Order

Thursday, November 9th [5:40 PM]

Non-Confidential, External

Hi there!

I’d like to place an order for one (1) bouquet of peach-colored daisies. I would like this order sent to Park Jimin, Bangtan Incorporated at 1011 LaSalle Street, Floor 16. I’ll stop by after work to pay. If the card could read, “I really loved the peonies,” that would be great.

Thank you!

Best,

Y/N

Analyst, Training

555-0821

Friday, November 10th [5:20 PM]

“Hi, you’ve reached Jimin. Leave a message after the beep. BEEEE – hahaha just kidding – ”

BEEEEEEP.

“Hey, it’s Namjoon. If you don’t change that annoying-ass voicemail of yours, I’m going to throttle you. I’m calling because we were supposed to leave for Seokjin’s happy hour together. Well, I’m in your office now – and surprise, surprise, you’re not here. Damn, your laptop and bag are gone, too! Did you just leave without me – oh! Shit! I just looked out your window. Oh my god, is that you? Is this it? Are you finally doing it? I see you – listen, Jimin, you should really trim your hair – but oh my god, you’re running. YOU’RE RUNNING – that’s her! That’s Y/N! You’re … tapping her on the shoulder! Oh crap, you scared her. You’re – YES, JIMIN! YES! FUCK, YES! Wow, man. That is some kiss. That’s Notebook-level shit, right there. Okay. You can stop. Fuck, man – are you scared she’s going off to war? I – oh. Alright. I see how it is. Nice, man. Ve-ry nice. I’m going to hang up now, because I feel super creepy watching this. Bye.”

Monday, November 13th

Hey, Laptop.

He got the flowers I sent him.

We kissed.

I – we’re dating.

😊😊

From: Wine, Fallon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Life Advice 2

Friday, December 15th [4:16 PM]

Jimin, dear. What kind of wine does Y/N drink? I’m going to the store after work and need your input. Red would probably go better with the pasta, but what kind of red?

Love,

Fallon

Friday, December 15th [4:34 PM]

Office Instant Message [4:34 PM]

Park, Jimin: tell your fiancée to stop emailing my work email

Office Instant Message [4:36 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: oh, please

Office Instant Message [4:37 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: I’ve seen the stuff you and Y/N send. You two think you’re sooo clever.

Office Instant Message [4:38 PM]

Park, Jimin: point taken

Friday, December 15th [4:42 PM]

Jimin: hey babe, what kind of wine do you want? Xx

Y/N: dry, sarcastic, red as blood

Jimin: cool. Totally normal, not at all scary

Y/N: lol tell Fal whatever wine she has is perfect

Jimin: that’s what I said! I told her you’re a lush and will drink anything in front of you

Y/N: yes, I will 😉

Jimin: holy fuck, I choked

Y/N: 😉

Jimin: babe! You can’t be dirtier than me, it’s not allowed

Jimin: god, when will today be over

Jimin: can you leave early?

Jimin: please. I need to be inside you at least once before tonight

Y/N: jimin!!

Y/N: … twice, if you’re lucky

Y/N: leaving work now

Jimin: good. I missed you

Y/N: haha I just saw you at lunch

Jimin: I’m not a logical man

Y/N: I accept all your shortcomings and love you despite them 😊

Jimin: I love you too, babe

Jimin: a lot 😊

Author’s Note: Hi. I hope you enjoyed :)) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIMIN!

#noonanet #kwriterskollection #kpoptrashtag #jimin fanfiction #jimin fluff #jimin one shot #jimin fantasy #jimin au #jimin #park jimin #bts jimin #q: jimin tag

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