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aricarianis · 3 months ago

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Mask and Mirror | AO3 Simon "Ghost" Riley / Female Character Rape/Non-con, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Predator/Prey, Stalking, Violence, Aggression, Choking.

THIS IS A HORROR STORY. Chapter 1: The Stranger In The Shadows Estimated reading time: 19 minutes.

There are only two rules on Halloween: have fun, and watch out for the freaks.

When an unassuming girl tries to lose the masked stranger stalking her on Halloween night, a spine-chilling game of cat and mouse begins. Each encounter grows more dangerous and intimate, blurring the lines between predator and prey. As tension and terror build, it’s only a matter of time before one of them is forced to surrender—if they make it out at all.

The last autumn breeze brushed past a face that dared to be uncovered on All Hallow’s Eve.

It was cold enough to signal the onset of the darkest season, but not quite enough to force girls into warm clothing. Halloween was the one night where inhibitions faded and impulses ruled. For her, it was also the last chance to have some fun—pull a trick, take home a treat.

Confined in the soft cage of her mermaid costume, she made her best effort to walk quickly, scanning the crowd for familiar faces. Partygoers brushed past in waves of theatrical ensembles. In the flashing lights and dark street corners, it was too easy to lose sight of someone. Which pair of wings or which set of bunny ears belongs to whom is anyone’s guess.

She, on the other hand, was hard to lose sight of. Being a mermaid for Halloween was hardly a groundbreaking idea, but the looks of disgust directed at her spoke for themselves. Most mermaids weren’t pallid, perpetually damp and slimy. Their costumes weren’t covered in a mucuous dark liquid that spread to their skin like a filthy sea rash. Their hair wasn’t tangled like seaweed, with nails as sharp as broken shells.

If philosophers who believe humans are inherently bad are correct, and goodness is just a layer people wear each day, then stripping that layer away should keep others at bay. No one should want to come close to something that looks deliberately sickly and unnerving.

No one but the man that kept trailing her, ignoring the warning signs.

Some might argue that being chased by a freak is part of the Halloween experience. After all, it’s the night when masks allow people to wear their ugliness openly, when the veil between real and imaginary gets a little too thin. Good people feel free to be a little bad, and bad people feel free to make the night of horrors live up to its name.

There’s a strange type of comfort about being at a Halloween parade, with celebrations and bonfires that have existed long before our time. The fake blood, the rusty houses, the dirty streets; air heavy with possibility. Any shoulder bumped against could open a door to the unknown. The music—too loud to let screams through. The people—too drunk to perceive danger before it’s too late. Anyone running past could be having fun or could be in genuine danger. Nothing seems safe, and that liminal space of perception, that limbo between bliss and horror that permeates every corner of Halloween night, is what keeps us coming back to celebrate death—as a reminder we’re alive.

Experiencing that limbo is Halloween’s ultimate allure. But sometimes the fantasy breaks, the veil lifts, and you realize that the danger isn’t imaginary.

The burn she felt in her legs as she tried to lose him in the crowd was real enough.

He stayed close despite the ever growing mob.

She grabbed her phone to call her friends once again. It seemed futile with all the noise, yet she tried. After a few minutes, a familiar voice cut through the buzz and made its way to her.

“Mae!” Her friend’s wings bounced as she waved enthusiastically.

Mae pushed through the crowd to get to her newfound safe haven.

“I told you not to call me that in public.”

“It’s short for mermaid—”

“No, it isn’t.”

“And… it’s just for tonight. It’s not safe to give our real names to strangers, you know that. Tonight, you’re Mae and I’m… Fae.”

Mae gave a light chuckle and nodded in agreement.

“Fake names aren’t much of a safety guarantee, I tell you that,” she said while looking around, but there was no sign of the man. She leaned in, close enough for her words to be just between them.

“I saw him.”

Fae turned to look at Mae, the gleam in her eyes matching the glitter on her lids. “Are you sure? There are a lot of masked people here.”

“I’d recognize that skull mask anywhere.”

A loud smash rang out, and the sharp echo of broken glass traveled the air alongside slurred insults—a brewing brawl. Suddenly, bodies pushed against one another like schooling fish. Mae grabbed onto Fae’s wrist, and as Fae’s eyes trailed up, Mae knew whose hand lay on her stomach. She felt the warmth of a body pressing against her, solid and unyielding; his form swallowing hers completely.

For a second, time stopped. She lifted her head, glancing over her shoulder to meet his eyes—dark as the night sky behind him. Her jaw clenched, anger bubbling up at her own vulnerability. She could’ve sworn she saw a movement, a slight raise of his cheeks behind the mask. Time resumed. A change of position, an unknown push, Fae’s other arm finding hers. Gone.

A man his size shouldn’t be able to vanish so easily.

“We need to get the others! Where’s your phone? Mine's in Jennifer’s purse.” Fae raised her voice as the agitated horde pushed them to the sidewalk.

“Jennifer doesn’t get a fake name?” The confusion in Mae’s tone turned to heaviness as she searched her purse.

“My creativity only goes so far,” Fae replied. “Come on, give it to me.”

“It’s not here.”

“What do you mean? You just had it.”

“Yeah, I did, but I-I can’t find it. I swear, it was right here, it must’ve…” Mae trailed off, scanning the ground, hoping her phone would somehow be there, though deep down, she already knew it wouldn’t.

Their eyes met. The knowing exchange spoke before they could.

“The girls were at the bar at the end of the street when I left to look for you,” Fae said first, nodding toward the direction. “We can start there.”

“We have to get my phone back.”

“It could be just some creep trying to get your attention—”

“Now he has it.” Mae’s anger simmered back up.

“Or... it could be someone trying to hurt you,” Fae said softly, as if assessing her friend’s next step. “You've never had to deal with one like him before.”

“Well… I’ve always loved first times.”

Mae grabbed Fae’s wrist and led the way, her grip tightening as they squeezed through the last of the crowd toward the bar. The quick steps confined in her costume made her legs burn again—a sensation she now knew all too well, and only because of him.

Costumed folks packed the bar, as the air hung thick with booze and bad decisions. In their corner, Mae stared blankly at the far wall, hardly listening as Fae recounted the story. Something in Fae’s tone—how she spun it like a fairytale rather than the gruesome folk legend it truly was—kept Mae’s anger simmering beneath the surface.

“AGAIN?” Tammie’s disbelief pulled Mae back into the moment. Jennifer signaled for her to keep it down, holding the phone to her ear. Tammie leaned in, repeating more quietly, “Again? How many times now, three?”

“Five,” Mae snapped, her voice tight with frustration. “Son of a bitch has followed me five times in three weeks.”

“Not used to a little attention, huh?” Jennifer smirked, clearly savoring the drama. “I told you to do something about it on the third time.”

Mae rolled her eyes. “I didn’t think it’d go this far, Jen. The guy just seemed like a random creep, not a—”

“Stalker?” Tammie finished, crossing her arms. Her usual easygoing demeanor shifted to one of concern.

Silence settled around them, despite the rowdy bar.

“Nothing?” Tammie asked Jennifer, signaling toward the phone.

Jennifer shook her head, the phone still glued to her ear.

“It’s not too late to let it go, babe,” Fae’s soft tone came back as she caressed Mae’s arm. “You’re the last person to go into things without a plan.”

Mae clenched her jaw. “You know damn well he can’t keep that phone—“

“Hello?” Jennifer blurted, eyes wide. “Can you hear me?”

The girls all turned to her, holding their breaths expectantly. Jennifer furrowed her brows as she turned to look at Mae, sharing a glance of mutual confusion before passing the phone to her.

“Hello?” Mae’s voice grew tense, eyes narrowing. “Yes, yes I understand—”

The girls scanned Mae’s face for some hint of explanation, but got nothing. They couldn’t find reassurance in each others’ worried expressions either.

“Why are you…” Her expression shifted from disbelief to irritation. “I understand… Simon.”

Mae handed the phone back, feeling discomfort permeate her body, and watching the girls’ faces contort with anger as they reacted to what she’d just heard.

The Haunted House. Fifteen minutes. Alone.

Despite their protests, the girls reluctantly agreed to let Mae go. It was a public space, after all, and he’d never tried anything dangerous while in a crowd. Maybe it’d be a simple exchange, a creepy way to ask for her number. But what were the odds?

Something weird happens once, it’s an accident. Twice, a coincidence. Three times, a pattern. By the fifth time, it’s hard not to think of it as a threat.

Simon didn’t mind to be seen as a threat; he’d learned early that his quiet intensity threw people off. The way he scanned the most unassuming places, how his every step was measured, balanced; movements so controlled they felt artistic—a dancer gliding across a shadowed ballroom.

Big guys like him were supposed to soften the edges, to show their faces, smile, make themselves smaller. But that wasn’t his training. That wasn’t who he was. Each time he chose not to wear the layers people expected, it was as if they could smell the blood on him, no matter how long it had been washed off. He’d made a living off of realizing his threats, and he was one of the best.

Of course, his nature became a hindrance when he craved human contact, which is why dating was off the table. He fulfilled his desires on other bodies, but never looked for love in them. Love is the most volatile element in any situation, and to be as good as him, you have to give up anything uncertain. In his line of work, predictability is the key between life and death.

He spent most of his free time roaming around the towns his team was stationed at, not only scanning places but people. How they moved, how they talked. The joyful screams of kids when their fathers picked them up. The wrinkles deepening on old ladies’ faces as their husbands repeated the same old stories. How deep a lass bit into the caramel apple she shared with her friend. The way her lips moved and gleamed. How the wind carried the earthy aroma of the forest, the sweet scent of the treat, and her. How she strangely caught his gaze and stared back, longer than anyone would, waving slowly as her sharp nails cut through the air.

There was something off about her, something under the surface. Like touching a wall warmed by the day's sun, even though night has fallen. Or standing outside a seemingly calm room, only to hear faint screaming as a prisoner denies information. Things you’d only catch if you’re watching closely. Attention you only pay to what you’re familiar with.

He trailed her for the first time after she went back for a second caramel apple. The second time was at the local mini-market, her cart stocked with an expensive brand of wine. The third time, he saw her loading luggage into the boot of her car at two in the morning. The fourth was at a restaurant, where she laughed with a group of men, and he sent a bottle of that same wine to her table. The fifth time, he stepped in between her and a street brawl, adrenaline rushing through his veins like a long-lost pulse. His grip on her wasn’t protective; it was a taste of control.

He stared at her phone, patiently counting down the fifteen minutes. Strange how her entire world was just a numerical combination away. Each time the screen lit up with the names of other men, something in him twisted tight. None of them knew her like he did. Did they see how the light made her caramel-stained lips glisten? Taste the remnants of expensive wine lingering on her tongue? Feel the sting of her sharp nails as they left marks that only he could reciprocate?

On that first night, he stared into the void, and the void didn’t flinch—it stared harder and waved back. Unbroken. Defiant. He can’t afford to crave affection, so he made it his mission to watch her surrender. The quiet command in her eyes fueled the mad man within, and he’d treat her like any opponent: study her, approach her, break her.

The most quiet houses often turn out to be the scariest. They look mundane, traditional—the kind of place where a family would lead a regular life. Yet, that façade can be enough to hide the horror inside. Domestic privacy becomes the foundation for a certain brand evil, one that allows fear to fester like mold. Modest walls turn into breeding grounds for monstrosity. Haunted houses, then, are symbols of honesty, of all the decay and abandonment humans are capable of creating.

There’s not a more honest month than October. As Mae entered the local honesty spot, cobwebs danced to the sounds of wood groaning against wind. Plastic spiders and makeshift ghosts welcomed passersby as the flickering jack-o’-lanterns showed them the way. The man inside might as well be another haunted attraction.

The draped black cloth on the walls served as a backdrop for the fake fog swirling at ankle height, forcing Mae to watch her every step. She carefully navigated each room, searching for the skull mask she now knew too well, and the man behind it. The loud whirrs of animatronic witches and the sudden clatter of popping skeletons set her nerves on edge, as if warning her about the last room in the upstairs hallway.

The sign on the door made it clear—that place wasn’t part of the attraction. It was a makeshift storage room for personal belongings, a reminder that the house wasn’t haunted for eleven months of the year. As she peeked inside, her gaze swept across the room until she made out his form. He was staring at a portrait cramped on top of a dresser, next to other family items. A man, a woman, two happy girls and a dog. Normal, certain—an unusual type of predictability for him. He seemed at ease, peaceful. For a moment, his imposing frame and odd behavior seemed almost misunderstood. A view shaped by a pessimism she knew too well.

That feeling lasted until he looked over his shoulder and met her eyes. The way the light seemed to retreat from his gaze as it bore into her soul meant, this time, she was right to assume the worst.

“Give it back.” She stood on the doorway, palm open in demand.

He remained in place as if he were part of the furniture.

“Look,” her sharp gaze signaling an anger that never went away “I don’t know who you are or what you want. If you’re just some weirdo freak who doesn’t know how to ask a girl out, fine.”

She gave him a split second to react, to show that she had read him right. He was stone.

“But if you’re here because you think you can intimidate me—”

His arm shot out, slamming the door behind her. Right hand digging into her jaw; the left tangled in her hair. Her skull met the door with a sharp crack, and the room spun in the echo of her interrupted words. Yet the weight of his body wasn’t enough to crush her defiance.

“—means you haven’t learned anything from all the stalking.” Her voice barely cut through the ringing in her ears. Pain seared through her head, but she clenched her jaw, forcing herself to hold his gaze.

His hot breath cut through the cold air in shallow bursts—not from exertion, but from something raw and primal: rage fused with obsession and desire. He tightened the grip on her hair as his right hand slid to her throat, squeezing just enough to make it clear she was not in charge. Her eyes widened, a short gasp escaping her lips, and he took her parted mouth as an invitation to close in, their lips brushing against the rough texture of the mask.

“I learned that this,” he spoke into her mouth, his grip tightening around her throat, “is what you needed. You needed someone to control your disobedience.”

Mae furrowed her eyebrows in complete confusion. The weight of Simon’s words twisted something in her stomach, making each exhale heavier than the inhale that preceded it. Nausea creeped in and she felt a wave of tingles on her nose—a sign that his twisted reasoning was taking root.

As the first tears welled in her eyes, he let out an amused chuckle and released her throat. The sudden rush of air into her lungs stung, and she gasped sharply, a sound that turned into an unsteady wail as she noticed his gaze dropping lower. A chill surged through her before she even registered his free, rock hard member pressing against her stomach. It was as if the room itself contracted around her, suffocating with its silence. The veil had lifted—this horror was real.

Her body jerked reflexively, muscles going taut as a wire. Simon’s free hand moved down her skirt, fingers searching for her entrance with a methodical, invasive precision that made her skin crawl. Jackpot. He stroked over her folds, rubbing rough circles on her clit to get her body to react as it would if she were a willing player in this scenario. Her mind raced in an attempt to pinpoint what she could have done to deserve this. But she knew better. This wasn’t her fault, even if the terror whispered otherwise. This was what happened when you brushed too close to people like Simon—quiet beasts that reeked of blood.

“S-Stop, please, Simon, I—“

“Are so wet f’me,” a smug tone on his voice. “Gonna say you don’t want this, luv? Cunt dripping all over my hand and you’re gonna lie?”

Even overwhelmed, Mae’s mind searched for options. She was the last person to go into things without a plan. The first step was to slow down her breath—hard to do when Simon was already using her wetness to bully his thick digits into her; each stroke drawing a hum of approval from him. He rested his head in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent as if to answer one of the many questions he had about her. His hot breath, the weight of his body, his rough movements—all filled her senses. Yet she had to find ways to ground herself in the bleak present, to craft the perfect opportunity for an escape.

Mae shifted slightly, feeling the solid surface of the door pressing into her back. The faint steps of the last visitors leaving the house echoed from somewhere distant, signaling that they were alone. She closed her eyes briefly, recalling the layout of the house from her earlier tour. If she timed it right, there was still a chance.

Drawing a breath, she softened her expression, letting her hands move to Simon’s hips. His eyes lit up with a twisted satisfaction as she began to trace her fingers around his cock. “See?” he murmured, his voice low and triumphant. “Just needed some obedience fucked into you.”

But the look in her eyes was anything but submissive. In a sudden, decisive move, Mae clamped her teeth down on the exposed skin of his neck while her nails—sharp as broken shells—raked into his balls. Simon's eyes widened in shock, his grip faltering just enough for her to push her full weight against him. She managed to break the distance between them, the momentum sending him stumbling backward.

The reprieve was brief. He swung back with a brutal slap that cracked like thunder against her face, the force disorienting her and leaving a burning trail of pain that echoed through her skull. She staggered, vision blurring and darkness creeping at the edges, but she didn't let the agony stop her. Mae bolted for the hallway, every muscle straining as she tore through the space and spotted the back door.

Simon’s roar followed, along with the heavy thud of his boots closing in as he wiped the blood dripping from the bite. But she was already out, sprinting toward the woods, the cool night air biting at her skin while an all too familiar burn crept back up her legs.

Trees blurred past in quick flashes, yet Simon’s footsteps were nearly soundless. His breath was steady, pulse in perfect control. The forest was his ballroom, and he moved like a seasoned dancer, leaving no trail behind him despite the thrill of the hunt. Twigs snapped nearby, a deep rustle to his left, a faint crunch to his right. Probably a deer, maybe a bear. To an untrained ear, the woods were brown noise; to him, an orchestra conducting his every step.

The darkness had no effect on him; his trained instincts led the way with ease. He paused, sensing her movements through the undergrowth—chaotic, erratic. Naive girls who think they can escape if they draw a little blood. He knew exactly where she was headed; her scent lingered in his system. He tilted his head to the left, eyes tracking to the right. A footfall right ahead. Jackpot.

Her messy disposition blended seamlessly with the chaos of the woodland. Breathless, disheveled, defeated—a creature in unfamiliar territory. Fish out of water.

She stood a few feet away, slightly hunched in surrender, a stark contrast to her usual proud self. Too easy. A faint prick of unease nudged at the back of Simon’s mind; after all, she had drawn blood the last time he got too close. Still, he pushed forward. He couldn’t have misjudged a simple chase. He was too skilled, too well-trained. One of the best.

He moved patiently over the foliage, cautious as if not to startle a wild animal. She remained still, vulnerable, accepting whatever fate Simon had prepared for her. One step, not too far. Another, closing in. Third step. Loud woosh. Acute pain. A bear trap. Suddenly, a fierce electric sting shot through his limbs, his own body turning against him. A taser. Muscles locked, forcing him into uncontrollable spasms. His back scraped against the rough ground as disorientation set in, making him oblivious to the shadows slipping into his blind spot.

Before he could react, his arms were forced back, wrists bound tightly together. The harsh scratch against his skin warned him of how little time he had before he was fully restrained. He struggled against the bear trap clamping his leg—a painful inconvenience—while the bindings around his wrists constricted further, vertical loops added to prevent any twisting escape. Smart.

Without wasting a moment, they secured his wrists to his waist and loosely bound his elbows, preventing any upward movement even if he managed to wriggle. With his limited upper body strength, finding leverage seemed impossible. The bear trap made it easier for them to restrain his legs, rope wrapping tightly around his lower thighs and knees. To finish the job, they pushed him against a tree, encircling his torso with the final length of rope, fully immobilizing him. As they stood at his feet, admiring their handiwork, a sinking realization settled in—he recognized the three familiar faces. Loyal friends she has.

“Should we get it out?” Jennifer asked, panting lightly as she examined the extent of his leg injury, her expression focused.

“I’m not done with him yet,” Mae retorted, monotone as she bore into his eyes.

“What are you gonna do, babe?” Fae interjected, concern etched across her face, but it wasn’t enough to sway Mae’s resolve.

“Nothing he hasn’t done first.”

Simon watched as the women faded into the forest, leaving him at Mae’s mercy. His uneven breath and racing pulse revealed his disbelief, body heating with the anger of being caught in this situation.

“Good show, lass. Am I bear snack now?” Simon scoffed, his need to regain the upper hand surfacing, even if it was futile.

“Was that your plan for me?”

“Yeah… and I was the bear.”

Mae nudged the trap with her foot, drawing a low grunt from Simon. “You were.”

“You’re a proper nutter, you know that?” His breaths grew shallow and rapid, betraying his frustration.

Mae bent at the waist, lowering herself until her face was just inches away from his. Her gaze steady and unyielding. The void staring back. "Birds of a feather, aren’t we?"

With a swift motion, she tore his mask off and stuffed it into his mouth. Shallow and deep scars littered his face, moonlight glinting over each mark. His nose was crooked, broken one too many times. His eyes—dark, bottomless—widened as he watched her slowly remove her costume, piece by piece. Confusion and dread seeped into him as he struggled to anticipate her next move, to guess what trick she’d pull.

The light traced her form, hugging the curves and lines of her body. Soft yet firm, peaks and valleys of pure poetry that relaxed him at the sight—first time in too long.

She leaned down, straddling his lap, her hands slipping between them as they stared into each other’s eyes. Simon furrowed his brows as he felt a pull on his hips. He dropped his gaze to see his pants halfway down his thighs, his member firmly in her hand. She began to stroke it, slowly, feeling the pull of his skin under her touch. “Is this what you wanted?”

Simon grunted, unintelligible, as the mask suffocated his words, his forehead creased in confusion. His body reacted as if it had disconnected from his mind, unaware that this was not how it was supposed to happen.

“I thought you wanted to control me,” Mae sneered as she picked up speed. “You can’t even control yourself.”

Simon took a deep breath as he felt his cock swell under the friction. He struggled to regain composure, to remind himself who was in charge. This was a game—a game he could easily win if he could keep his impulses in check. Keeping his cool under life-threatening situations was part of his job; this should be no different. He was too skilled, too well-trained. One of the bes—

“Open your eyes,” Mae commanded, and Simon obliged, not even realizing when he had closed them. With practiced ease, she pooled saliva at the back of her throat, letting it gather at the tip of her tongue before she opened her mouth—thick strand glistening in the light before landing on the tip of his cock.

Simon could only respond with deep, muffled groans, his face contorted in rage. This was not how it was supposed to go. Veins bulged along his member, which at this point was fully engaged. Precum leaked as he shook his head in frustration, ashamed at how his body betrayed him, welcoming the assault even as his mind rebelled.

Mae raised herself slightly, adjusting his angry red tip right at her entrance, still wet from the earlier invasion. With a slow, methodical movement, she crouched down, easing his thickness into her cunt—tight and fluttering at the incursion. It was massive, almost impossible, the type of weapon used to bring more harm than peace. She shuddered at the thought of how things might have played out were she still under Simon’s reign, yet she remained impassive. “Control yourself.”

Simon’s brows furrowed in plea as he struggled against the ropes—desperate, confused, guilty. He was overwhelmed at the detachment, at how all the physical sensations were there but his mind couldn’t enjoy it. He just wanted out.

Mae picked up the pace as she squatted on his lap, walls spasming at the forced entrance. She could feel him in her bones, splitting her open, invading even when he was out of control. It wasn’t as comfortable as it could be, but it was worth it for his look of terror alone.

He felt dizzy as she fucked him so hard his back scorched against the tree. His pulse pounded in his ears, her warmth and slick mirroring the heat pooling in places he wished it wouldn’t. Simon squirmed, his eyes pleading with Mae to stop as he teetered on the edge of orgasm.

“Control your fucking self!” Mae shouted, her voice brimming with rage. “This is your fault. This is what you made me do!”

Her hands clamped around his throat, surgical, cutting off just enough airflow to push him toward unconsciousness. To Simon, her intentions seemed far more sinister. He let out a hoarse scream, overwhelmed by a surge of anxiety, shame, and a fear he hadn’t felt in years. Her hips plunged, the familiar burn creeping up on her legs as her cunt choked him—violent thrusts sprinting towards the end, demanding. Shockwave. He twitched and grunted as the climax spread across his body, the impact reverberating through them both. His cum leaked from her pussy as the realization dawned—he had severely underestimated his opponent.

As Mae’s movements slowed, her grip around his throat tightened. She watched as his eyes grew heavy, each blink longer than the last, while a disorienting fog clouded his mind.

“Do you know why people wear masks on Halloween?” Mae asked, her voice as calm as rocks in a seastorm.

Simon squinted in confusion, his body going slack beneath her hold. A tremor rippled through his limbs, marking the last moments of resistance before surrender.

“They believed the line between the world of the living and the dead blurred, and that spirits could walk the earth. They started wearing masks because they thought they could protect themselves from evil by blending in,” she continued, her tone hypnotic. “But, you see, we don’t know what evil looks like.”

His eyes fluttered, unfocused, a final shudder running through him as he hovered at the edge of darkness. The moment hung suspended, enough for Mae’s voice to cut through one last time before he slipped entirely into the void.

“Would you be scared of the boogeyman if he looked like me?”

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auspicioustidings · 6 months ago

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mhairi i’m so sorry i just can’t stop thinking of good boy and good girl cause like

she finally returns for a “visit” with Ale and Rudy and the boys getting excited to see her and she just can’t interact with any of them without Ale or Rudy around.

Soap tried to corner her to play and she just flinches away and bawls because she thinks he’s gonna punish her

she even flinches away from good boy, asking Ale and Rudy if she really has to let him breed her

Gaz’s heart just breaks because as much as they didn’t want you, he knows they were horrid. it’s just not the same anymore, and they regret taking you to begin with because you’re just not the same person anymore

YOU GET BACK HERE! GOD I LOVE DARK CONCEPTS THAT TURN INTO ANGSTTTTT!

The worst part of it is Ale and Rudy may be "nice" but they're not. Like these are men who used the reward of "letting you be a girl" to get a collar on you. Yes they never punished you the way the likes of Ghost or Price did, but they are way better at emotional manipulation and gaslighting. Given the choice you would not be on their beautiful ranch living some half life where you need to be a kitten when they want you to and wear what they want and eat what they want, but they've made you so dependent on them that you're scared of your own damn shadow when they're not around.

Ale and Rudy were not like the 141, they didn't meet you before you were broken. They've never really met the bright and brilliant person you were, but they've seen glimpses. They've seen enough that they break their own rules sometimes, maybe ease up a little too much on the love bombing because they are curious about the person these glimpses show them.

The thing about it is that all these men care for you in their own way. You don't see that, deep down you know they are monsters. They must be right? There can't be any real feelings there for men like that. You've gotten to a state where you can't even believe good boy likes you, not as much as he likes his masters. God, maybe you're the one that's wrong somehow.

Ale and Rudy try to talk with Gaz because they know they've fucked it up, they see that they've manipulated you into just as bad a space as you were with the 141. You had pockets of joy at the start but now you're so skittish. You don't even want to go on trips anymore, no interest in going to do human things because they've made you too paranoid.

Unfortunately, you overhear them and misunderstand. You think they are going to punish you. You run. On the one hand, Price chipped you right at the start so they can track you. On the other hand, all chips for pets can also be tracked by the pound and they're real curious about this pet that got the 141 all riled up. Guess it's just who gets there first.

#mhairianswers #mhairi's good boy bad girl

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b0amagination · 4 months ago

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Tastes of Whumptober: Day 10

Is it anything novel? No. But did I fist fight the prompt today? Yes. This is what happened and sometimes you gotta embrace the traditional.

Passing out from Pain

“What was that?”

“Aaaaaagh!!!”

“Use your words, scum!”

Blurred vision could hardly make out the man across the table before another blow came from behind. The stool tilted when they fell to the side, but strong hands forced them back upright and steady. Just minutes ago this had been a sane conversation.

“I don’t know, I don’t-hhhhhhh-” The sound of cane against bone was sickening.

“Your own little investigation? You don’t know who helped you?” He tapped a pen against the wooden desk. Impatient. But held up a hand to stop the barrage from his assistant. “Take a look at this.”

Shuddering breaths ghosted over the desk. Their desk. They duly noted that their head was in their hands. Then there was a hand, gripping onto short strands of hair, and pulling them back up.

In his hand was a USB drive that brought their heart to their throat.

“You see, we may not have told you the entire truth earlier. We know exactly what you’ve gathered. And we know a conspirator leaked this to you. All I need is your help in figuring out who that was, and then you can go free. After I smash this drive, of course.”

“Fucking bastard- AAAAHH!” A rib snapped loud enough for the entire room to hear, even over their scream.

“Oh, do that again. I had no idea you cried so nicely.” They couldn’t believe their boss was speaking to them like this, after years of working under him completely unaware… And now to be interrogated and tortured in their own office, their blood probably splattered all across the floor, the order to cause that pain again!

“Get- get away from me!” Running hadn’t worked before and there was no escape with the handcuffs around their wrists, but they couldn’t take that all over again.

A smashed fibula had them on the floor, writhing on their hands.

“Fuck! No-!” A foot on their back now and their broken rib creaked under the pressure. “You’re just going to torture them too!”

“You silly thing.” He wasn’t stepping on them, but his voice came from above. “I’m not going to torture them. I’m going to kill them.”

More weight, they could’ve sworn they felt another rib crack.

“I-I can’t even think, please, I couldn’t- nnhhhhhh- I couldn’t answer you if I wanted!” A bold-faced fucking lie: that name was the only thing on their mind right now. Seven letters. First and last name. And it would be over.

The cane on their leg again. Shattering the break. Life faded out of focus.

“Oh, you don’t want to pass out. We’d have to keep you here with us.”

“It hurts- it-”

“And you can stop that. We’ve had you for, what, an hour now? Look at yourself. You’ll never walk right again, for one.”

A violent sob wracked them. It wasn’t true, he couldn’t do that in one night, he just wanted them scared enough to say- they forced their lips shut. It almost fell out then at the mere thought.

The foot fell away from their back and they gasped in relief.

“I know you can’t see it right now, my little wreck.” The tone was detached, despite the words. “But my assistant has their foot over that precious leg of yours. Imagine what damage that could do if you refuse me yet again.”

The rule of sealed lips didn’t exist when cold panic flooded their heart, labored breathing turning short and desperate. Their head was shaking in disbelief.

“No? Don’t say I never warned you.”

White hot agony, screaming, then nothing.

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karlachismylife · 3 months ago

Note

How do you think the 141 feels about weed?

Oh buddy, I'm sure there are people on this site that can give you a better answer, cuz weed is very much illegal in my country, and I fumbled my two-three chances to get in on the fun cuz I have actually quite the law-abiding friend circle (meaning I am the only one who ever got arrested and that was for protesting, yeah), so I actually have very limited understanding what's it like. But I do have internet and I am watching media, so I'll try to think about it.

CW: weed smoking, just in case, mentions of addiction

I feel like Ghost would actually benefit from it a lot. Once he gets stabilized without it and stops seeing nightmares every night, he can actually enjoy the relaxed state it puts him in, all the yelling in his brain dumbed down to a white noise static. It's not a reliable treatment for PTSD, but it works to just slow him down and get him out of the constant sympathetic nervous system response. He would be wary of the negative effects though, cuz even one bad sesh can fuck him up BAD. And also he probably has a few tons of baggage about any drug use considering his backstory, but I like a "actually got a grip on it and not falling apart anymore" Ghost, so he's worked through the most painfull issues already. So yeah, Ghost - sometimes smoking for medical reasons (maybe he even thinks it's better than taking too many pills). And he mostly just gets eepy from it.

Price one hundred percent smoked when he was younger. Probably with Nikolai, lol, that man just saw this green Lieutenant with the weight of the whole world on his shoulders and decided to help poor baby John out by loosening him up a bit. That came out wrong, but also right, oops. It's totally about that fucking stress of constant responsibility, the heaviness of allllll the decisions he had to make, and the never-ending grind to be even better. Now, I think, he's not too keen on it, cuz it just leaves him sloppier, all that filtration system in his body working a little worse (probably from all the times he got toxins in his system and nearly overdosed on pills to keep himself in working condition instead of taking a break), so it just has too long of an effect to his liking. He's relaxing with a normal cigar and whiskey or a pint now, it just more controllable for him. But if you manage to get him on vacation or something, he won't refuse probably. Might actually just fall asleep, but mostly it has effect on his body, it just visibly relaxes. Probably takes off some of that back pain too.

Gaz would be on the fence morally about it, cuz he just has the strictest moral code out of them all in my opinion, in the sense that he doesn't want to bend his own rules (but he totally can bend someone else's). So he might've been apprehensive about weed at first, but once he built a more nuanced worldview, he probably started considering it not that big of a deal, maybe not evil at all. Probably not embracing it to the point of regularly having, but if you're having fun, he'll have fun too. I also love rave scene Gaz, so when he's on leave he's probably even more chill about it. I do think he would prefer edibles though. Ohhh bake him some special brownies! That's what he can't say no to. He's even more fun when he's high, but sometimes a switch clicks and he gets into some deep philosophical shit (that actually makes sense, because he's too smart). Talks for three hours straight, gets his throat sore and tongue dry, makes references to ancient greek phlosophers, marxism and Albert Camu. Probably ends up making out with someone who didn't get half of what that man just said, but wow, how did he say that...

Soap is the one who should NEVER have access to weed, but you look away for a moment and he's chewing on an edible. His ADHD gets horrible under influence, he can't keep a train of thought even for two minutes, his body isn't hyperactive, but his mind is just a whirlwind of colours, sounds, impulses and sensations. He's the "show him a finger and watch him laugh to tears for fifteen minutes straigt " type, but if he keeps adding more on top of what he consumed just now, he might actually harm himself. He'll just lose control and spiral with all the impulsiveness and confusion of an uninhibited ADHD brain, and he knows that, so he's never doing it alone just to be safe, poor baby. Draws A LOT while he's high, actually, and it looks different from his usual sketches. He might actually like the weed ones more, so it's a possible incentive for him to keep consuming. I wouldn't say he's addicted or anything, but he has obvious troubles with self-control.

#juju's replies #task force 141 #cod headcanons #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #captain john price #price cod #gaz cod #kyle gaz garrick #john soap mactavish #soap cod #call of duty #cod

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kentai345 · 2 years ago

Text

East Highland's Notorious

AO3

Fezco x reader

Warnings: It's a euphoria fic, so just like the TV show warning.

18+, drug use, foul language, no smut yet mostly fluff for now.

Can be read here or on ao3. More chapters on ao3

Summary: You never proclaimed yourself to be a nice person or good girl because no one expected you to be one. If someone perceived you as one that was their fault. Life wasn't easy but Fez made it bearable.

Chapter 1

*Rue narration is in italics*

If there’s one thing no one understood about (Y/N) Stone, it was why she was friends with Nate Jacobs. Why would such a chill and down-to-earth girl be friends with a guy like him? Simple, they didn’t know the real her. The ones who were unfortunate enough to piss her off and face her wrath gave her the infamous nickname stone cold bitch. She had to be because it made her life easier. And you didn’t hear it from me but when she and Nate were together people called them the East Highland Notorious cause nothing good ever happens when those two were around.

(Y/N)’s parents were addicts. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her parents sober. Its why she tolerates all my bullshit and why she and Nate were so close. She loved wreaking havoc and creating chaos probably cause she couldn’t control the chaos that was her life. But with Nate, she knew just how to pull his strings and make him do most of the work for her while she just sit back and watch.

They also both understand each other’s hatred for their parents but (Y/N) had one nice thing to come out of her parent's addiction. Fezco. Cause of them she got to meet Fez and his grandmother. Her parents sometimes made her go get drugs for them and she would buy them from Fez himself or his grandmother.

They became so close that when his grandmother got sick and he had to drop out she was there for him and helped him out at the gas station. It gave her a break from her life. Not having to listen to Maddy complain about Nate, watching Nate be a dick, and from the waitress job that she hated. At some point when I was in rehab Fez and (Y/N) had grown even closer that she was staying at his place from time to time and her parents wouldn’t even notice. It was like this unspoken rule that she was his and no girl would be stupid enough to get too friendly with Fez knowing what (Y/N) was capable of. However, (Y/N) would never label it, believe it or not as ruthless as she was, she was shy around guys she truly liked and the fear of rejection was keeping her from defining the relationship.

I sat outside the gas station with Fez as he smoked a blunt with my legs laying across his lap. He exhales smoke in my direction with a smirk and I playfully hit his arm. “Stop.” I whine fanning the smoke out of my face. He takes my hand into his planting a kiss on it and I smile shyly. We hear footsteps coming toward us and I slip my hand from his hold and look up to see Rue standing in front of us.

“Thanks a lot, you gave me a secondhand high, and now I’m seeing ghost.” I said as I moved my legs from Fez’s lap.

“I’m not a ghost, dick.” Rue said with a laugh and I shrug. I go on my phone to find out where Nate is while Fez tells Rue about this new girl we’ve been seeing around and how Rue would get along with her.

“So like how are you feelin?” He asked.

“I mean, ever since I gave my life over to my lord and Savior Jesus Christ, things have been, like, really good.” Rue said and I laugh.

“Word? That's what's up.”

“I'm fucking with you. It was a joke.” Rue said with a laugh. “But low-key, is Ashtray in the back?”

“Are you serious?” Fez asked in disbelief.

“What, you think cause I went to Rehab I stayed clean.” She said and I shake my head.

“Well that is the point of rehab.” I said not surprised. I went inside the store and headed to the back. Rue couldn’t function without drugs in her system she was just like my parents. I fucking hate my parents.

“I thought your ass was dead.” Ash said as Rue walked in and she looked at me. “I didn’t start that rumor.” I shrugged.

“Don’t matter y’all come and go I’m just tryna stack my cash and pay my mortgage. So what the fuck you want?” Ash said listing off what he had.

“I’m sorry I have zero fucking idea what you just said.” Rue said. “Yeah, no one does. Just give her the one that’s similar to LSD.” I told Ash.

“Ok.” Rue agrees and Ash tells her it's 120. “Oh, Fez said he'd spot me.” She said and we call bullshit as she leaves.

“Fezco don't spot nobody.” Ash said.

“Yeah, well, it's a post-rehab discount, so you should ask him.” Rue said and I follow her. “I will go ask him, 'cause I know you're full of shit.” Ash said as we leave the back.

“What are you doing after this?” Rue asked me and I shrug. “Waiting on Nate to give me a ride to Maddy’s to get ready for this summer bash that Mckay’s throwing, everyone is supposed to be there.”

“Cool.” She said as we went back outside and see Fez selling to Nate.

“About time, thought you died in a five-car pile-up.” I said to him. “You wish get in the fucking truck.” He said walking back to his truck. “I didn’t hear a please.”

“Yeah right.” He said as I followed him. “I’ll see you guys later.” I said to Rue and Fez before getting in the backseat. “Yo, I’d do it for Rue.” Nate yells to Rue as he pulls off and Mckay shakes his head.

I listen to him and Nate go back and forth about the party and his mom being particular and blah blah. I become interested when Mckay brings up Maddy and if she and Nate were together.

“Cause she’s crazy, I don’t want her to come and burn my house down.” Mckay warns.

“I hope she does burn your house down, then your party will be remembered forever…as the guy who got his house burned down.” I said laughing and Nate joined. “This is exactly what I’m talking about.” Nate said focusing on a blonde girl that Fez and I had been seeing around town riding her bike. Nate slows the truck to her speed and rolls down Mckay’s window “Right here.” He calls.

“How ‘bout you come and ride on this dick.” He says and she flips him off in return. She loses her balance and falls off her bike as Nate speeds away laughing and I just roll my eyes at his antics used to his behavior.

People question how I’m even friends with Nate with all the shit he pulls but I don’t have the answer he’s just always there. Plus some of the shit he does is entertaining and yeah he was an asshole to me too but he was always a person I could call when my parents lock me out of the house or forget to stock the fridge. His family, no matter how fucking picture-perfectly annoying they are helped me out. Hell, the only thing I regret is setting Maddy up with him. I knew what Nate liked in a girl and Maddy knew I could get Nate on her radar, so I did her favor. Believe me, I tried to warn her about Nate’s temper but she swore she could handle him. Although, sometimes I believe she doesn’t know what she got herself into.

Nate drops me off a block away from Maddy’s house not wanting to come into contact with her at all and I greet her parents when they let me in. I go to her room seeing Kat and BB as well saying hi to everyone until Maddy faces me showing me her breast.

“Do my areoles look weird?”

At first I just look at her thinking she’s joking but realizing she’s not I glance down at her boobs. “They look like areoles.” I comment and she rolls my eyes not liking my answer putting her shirt back on.

“I literally look disgusting. Nate’s totally ruined my confidence.” She says.

“Nate’s a loser who cares?” Kat says.

“He’s not a loser he’s a dick.” Maddy corrects.

“Bottom line, y’all need to walk into this party like your pussy costs a million dollars.” BB said as she goes through Maddy’s closet.

“I’d settle for like four Corona Lights and some non-rapey affection.” Kat answers. “That’s kind of depressing.” BB says waving me over to sit down at the vanity to do my makeup.

“You know when somebody just constantly criticizes like everything about you?” Maddy says going off about Nate.

“Like every guy?” I answer.

“You just need to catch a dick and forget about your troubles.” Kat advises and we all look at her. “Shouldn’t you catch a dick first before telling other people to do it?” I said.

“Seriously, the best thing after a breakup is to fuck someone new and then move on.” Kat continues.

“Remind me again how many guys have you fucked? And cat-fishing don’t count.” BB says and I laugh. “Speaking of someone new, (Y/N)?” BB says and I raise an eyebrow at her as she does my eye shadow.

“What?”

“Bitch, come on we know you’ve been all boo’d up this summer with Fez.” Maddy says.

“We’re just friends.”

“Save the bullshit.” BB said finishing up my makeup. “Ok, so I'm testing the waters. Besides he hasn’t defined what we are and we all know I’m not gonna do it.” I said looking at my makeup in the mirror.

“You’ve been testing the waters for months. Quit being scared and claim your man already.” BB said. “Seriously, it's obvious he likes you stop being stubborn.” Maddy said and I look at her through the mirror. “Why don’t you stop being stubborn and take Nate back already, we all know you’re gonna do it.”

“Bitch, don’t even go there.” She warned ending the conversation in a stalemate.

We finish getting ready and get in Maddy’s car to go to the party. Now I may have seemed like a dick but I hated telling other people my business except for Nate and Fez. Sometimes Maddy depending on what it is. I avoided relationships at all costs cause the guys here are fucking idiots and it wasn’t hard with Nate around keeping them away. Fez was the only exception as he was my distraction from the shitty parts of my life, kind of I mean sometimes I have to buy from him for my parents. I know Fez likes me but I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship if we break up and end up with just Nate to confide in.

We finish getting ready and get in Maddy’s car to go to Mckay’s and on the way we see Rue walking down the street. “Slow down.” I tell Maddy and point to Rue.

“Wait didn’t Rue, like die?” Maddy said and I look at her confused. “Why does everyone think I started that rumor?” I asked.

“Oh my god, I hate ghosts.” BB said as Maddy pulled over.

“Yo, Casper you want a ride?” Kat asked. “Why, thank you.” Rue answers. I could tell just by looking at her that she was on drugs as she gets in the backseat with Kat and BB.

Arriving at the party Kat and Rue wander off who knows where and the rest of us go to grab drinks. I scope the party for Nate but my eyes land on a blonde guy staring at us more specifically Maddy. Smirking I get Maddy’s attention and casually gesture with my shoulder to the blonde and she gives him an uninterested look. “Don’t you wanna piss off Nate?” I suggest and she smiles deviously giving me the go-ahead. I go over to the blonde greeting him with a smile.

“My friend and I thought you looked lonely. Wanna dance with us?” I asked touching his arm in a flirtatious manner. When he agrees I take his hand guiding him toward Maddy and BB who were already dancing. “Oh, my god I completely forgot to ask for your name.” I said in a dimwitted tone

“Tyler.” He introduces looking directly at Maddy. “Hi.” Maddy says and grabs his hand pulling him towards her. BB and I dance around them and I feel a pair of hands grab my waist making me into contact with someone’s chest. I look over and see the owner of the hand to be Fez. “Been lookin’ for you.” He says into my ear so I could hear him over the music.

“You found me. Now what?” I said turning in his arms to face him and he smiles at my words. “Yo friends don’t mind if I take you away then?” He asked looking over to Maddy and BB who waves us off insisting it was fine. BB sends us suggestive looks as Fez takes my hand and I roll my eyes at her. He leads me outside to the backyard and has a seat on an unoccupied couch pulling me onto his lap.

Straddling his lap he connects our lips in a quick kiss before he looks down admiring my outfit consisting of a halter top and jeans. “Shit, look at you lookin all good.” He kissed my jaw trailing to my neck and I hum in pleasure at the feeling. I reconnect our lips, running my hands along his chest but our actions come to a stop feeling the couch shift as someone plops down next to us.

“Oh, hey Rue.” I greet.

“Hey, don’t mind me keep doing what you’re doing.” She says sounding out of it.

“Come on now bruh, you owe me 120 bucks.” Fez said and I reposition myself in his lap as we were obviously not gonna continue our previous engagement anytime soon.

“Man sorry, I forgot.”

“To be honest, with you, your whole drug shit got me feeling kind of uneasy.” Fez said. “Come on don’t go soft on me, Fez.” Rue said not taking his words seriously.

“I’m not. It’s just that... I like you. And I missed you, bruh. That shit at the beginning of summer had me scared as fuck.”

“Yeah, you and everybody else. Well except for (Y/N).” She said and I nodded my head. “Duh, you’re like a cockroach, you always come back.” I joked. I was scared for Rue after hearing about her overdose but I also didn’t let that shit consume my thoughts. There’s no point in worrying about someone who doesn’t want the help or maybe I’m just a pessimistic dick.

“At least someone had faith in me.” She said with a smile. As she continued talking to Fez I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and went onto Instagram to see if I could find this Tyler guy as I had never seen him around school before. However, as I am I hear a commotion coming from the pool, and giving Fez a quick kiss on the cheek I go over to see. I come to find Maddy and Tyler in the pool making out and Nate watching.

“Yeah that's real classy you fucking whore.” Nate says to her.

“Suck my dick.” Maddy responds making the crowd around react in her favor. I never meant for the plan to go this far but knowing Maddy I should’ve seen it coming. I hear Nate going off in the kitchen and go back inside to see him breaking shit in the kitchen. The girl who was riding her bike earlier was in the kitchen while others were clearing out of Nate’s warpath. “Hey man what’s going on?” Rue asked suddenly appearing next to me.

“The usual Nate’s pissed and he’s about to take it out on the new girl.” I said already filming on my phone. Rue nods her head and like everyone else nearby we watch as Nate starts yelling at the girl getting in her face before she suddenly pulls a kitchen knife on him making Nate back down. “Fuck, new girls got balls. Too bad she doesn’t know what she’s getting into.” I comment.

“Put the fucking knife down! It was a joke!” Nate yells and looks to me for help but I look around wondering why he’s looking to me for help. “The fuck you want me to do? Bitch has a knife and I’m not a hostage negotiator.” I said still filming.

She takes the knife suddenly cutting herself yelling “I’m fucking invincible.” Before backing away from Nate and throws the knife down. “By the way, I’m Jules. I just moved here.”

“Hi Jules.” I say as she leaves the kitchen. “Take back what Fez and I said, that bitch is insane.” I told Rue as I end the video and I go check on Nate.

“You sure know how to pick a fight.” I said and he glares at me. “Shut the fuck up.” He growls shoving past me harshly and past Fez who was coming toward me. “You alright?” He asks me glaring back at Nate before looking back at me.

“I’m fine its normal.” I reassure and pull him into a hug. “Besides you know I love chaos.”

“A lil too much. So like what's your home situation tonight?” He asked me stroking my arm checking if I was gonna go back home or not. “Sleeping over at Maddy’s but I’ll probably go home Sunday. You leaving?”

“Not yet still more money to make and I gotta make sure you leave safely with yo friends.” He guides me backward to lean against the kitchen counter. “You don’t have to do that.” I say kissing him. Our kiss started slow before his tongue slips between my lips and my hands tighten on his shirt bringing him impossibly closer. We pull apart catching our breaths and I stare at him entranced by how handsome he is but I am drawn out by BB calling for me.

“What?” I asked looking over at her and Kat. “We about to go, you leaving with us?”

“Yeah.” I sigh reluctantly not ready to leave Fez’s arms. “I’ll see you later.” He says kissing me one last time before disappearing into the party. I leave with BB, Maddy and Kat going back to Maddy’s. As we’re getting ready to go to bed I get a goodnight text from Fez and can’t help but smile.

I had to wake up around 6 in the morning to leave Maddy’s house and walk home to get ready for work, clean up whatever mess my house was gonna be in, and then get to work on time at 9. I was dreading going home knowing that the house would be trashed or my dad’s junky friends would be there. To my surprise the front door was unlocked when I got home and was repulsed by the smell coming from inside finding it to be spoiled food in the kitchen, while my parents were passed out on the couch, I think. I sigh annoyed and go into my room to grab my uniform and go take a shower.

Before leaving I pack a bag of clothes just in case I decide I don’t want to sleep here tonight, clean up the kitchen, and leave two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my parents when they wake up. I look over at them once more checking if they were actually breathing before stealing my mom’s car keys and leave for work.

Now I hated working not because I was lazy or hated my coworkers, I hate the fact that because my parents couldn’t take care of themselves or me that I had to choose between sports or having a meal to eat. It was thanks to Nate that I got this job as his family eats here a lot like they have a usual table a lot. Clocking in I immediately get to work taking on as many tables as I can to get more tips and hopefully make the end of my shift come faster. During my shift, Nate came by the restaurant and asked to be sat in my section and I raise an eyebrow at him when I notice him.

“What do you want?”

“Who was the guy with Maddy at the party.”

“You gonna order something with that?” I ask and he sighed annoyed. “And it can’t be water.”

“What about a trip to the mall, didn’t you say you wanted a new wardrobe?” He offers. “Deal. His name’s Tyler doesn’t go to our school or if he does, I’ve never seen him but I found his Instagram. There’s nothing interesting. Hell, he might be in college.” I shrugged.

“That's good enough, what’s his-” He stops talking looking behind me and I turn to see who was there. I roll my eyes seeing one of my coworkers who was this annoying older lady, who for some reason couldn’t go one shift without having something to say to me.

“Can I help you, Susan?” I asked annoyed as I glared at her.

“It’s just really unprofessional to have your friends come by while you’re working and not or-”

“And it's really unprofessional to interrupt someone when they’re in the middle of a conversation. And you're not a fucking manager so walk away.” I said scaring her off. “I can’t fucking stand that bitch.”

After giving Nate Tyler’s social, he leaves and I finish up the rest of my shift clocking out. I count out my tips getting over 100$ which was pretty good for a Sunday. Reluctantly I head home to return the car and probably have to make my parents dinner. “Hey, (Y/N) how was school?” My dad asked from the couch as he watched TV. “It's summer break.” I sigh annoyed putting the keys back. “Right, right hey your uncle Bruce gave us a tip. My parole officer is coming by this week can you help me out?”

“Yeah. Just tell me when.” I said softly, wishing I was somewhere else. They could go weeks without noticing if I’m here or not but when it's time to pee in a cup or go on a drug run all of a sudden they remember they have a kid again. I don’t know when exactly my parents became like this I’m just surprised I made this far in life with their parenting. I order two pizzas for the night for my parents so they could have something to eat in the morning and after paying for the delivery head to the bathroom to shower. As I’m getting ready for bed I get a call from Fez.

“Hey Fez, what’s up?”

“Checkin up on you, hadn’t heard from you. Wanted to know if you want to come over, watch a movie or sumthin?”

“Or something?” I repeated teasingly. “I can’t, had a long day and I gotta be here in the morning for my dad. I would’ve loved to though.”

“What does your dad got you doing?”

“Oh you know the usual, gotta pee in a cup for his parole officer. Plus school starts tomorrow and my house is closer than yours.”

“Then let me drive you.” He offered. "No need to go out of your way for me. I’ll be fine.”

“Nah its nothing, let-” He starts but I interrupt.

“Seriously Fez, it's alright. I can take care of myself. Goodnight.” I hang up not waiting for him to respond. I didn’t want to sound rude but I stayed over with Fez a lot this summer and with school starting again I had to get back to my old routine and not depend on him so much.

Before leaving for school I hand my dad my bottle of pee and in an attempt at affection, he pats my head as he thanks me. I mumble a goodbye to him and my mom before leaving out and I come to the stop in my driveway seeing Fez parked outside waiting for me.

“Hey.” I said getting in his car. “Hey, pretty girl.” He responds.

“Shut up.” I said shyly as I looked out the window as he drove me to school. “I told you, you didn’t have to drive me.”

“I know but sometimes your stubborn ass needs to accept help when it's offered.”

“If you keep this up you’ll make me keep depending on you more.” I said as he parked outside the school. “That’s the point.” He answered taking my hand in his.

“Then I guess you’re never getting rid of me.” I said leaning in to kiss him. “I’ll talk to you later. Tell your grandma hi for me.” After getting out I meet up with Maddy and BB eventually running into Cassie.

“Oh, shit that's the girl who tried to commit suicide at Mckay’s.” BB said as we walked past Jules and Rue. “What?” Cassie asked.

“That is not what happened.” I said.

“Oh yeah I forgot, you guys was both fucking.” She pointed to Cassie and Maddy.

“Why does everybody think we fucked?” Maddy stops to say but we keep walking ignoring her. “Alcohol is not good for me.” She said when she caught back up with us.

“So you did fuck him.” BB said.

“Honestly, I think I blacked out.” She said. While the others look at her worried I gave her a side-eye. We run into Kat and I pull Maddy to the side while Cassie and BB talk to Kat.

“Being I’m the only one who knows better we both know you’re lying and did what you did to get back at Nate. So why are we lying to them?” I gestured to the others.

“Cause you're the only one I trust to keep this between us and from Nate.”

“You’re glad I fucking love you 'cause this shit might blow up in your face.” I said wondering how Nate’s gonna react if he believes that Maddy blacked out, especially with how overprotective he is. Deciding it wasn’t my problem we go over to Kat and Maddy hugs her congratulating her on losing her virginity.

“Damn, did everybody have sex at the party?” I asked holding a finger up to Maddy to silence whatever in-denial BS she was gonna say.

After catching up we head to class and I get a text from Nate telling me he was going to skip today and that he wanted to pay me back for that information I found on Tyler for him. The power of teenagers and social media.

I was hiding out in the bathroom sitting on the counter while waiting for Nate to come get me and when people would come in I would make them get lost, so I could be alone. “Find another bathroom.” I said when I heard someone rush inside and I look up to see Rue who freezes at my words. “Oh hey, Rue don’t mind me just killing time.” I said letting her come in.

“Keep a lookout.” She said going into a stall. “Got it.” I reassured. Not a minute later I hear someone walking in and warn Rue. “Hurry up, someone’s coming.”

“Shit, fuck it.” I hear Rue say before flushing the toilet.

“Rue?” We hear Lexi say as she enters the bathroom. “Never mind it's just Howard.” I said and Rue came out of the stall pissed.

“Are you okay?” Lexi asked Rue. “You are so fucking stupid, Lexi.” She answered.

“Why?”

“Cause I already flushed everything.” She said frustrated. “Damn, what a waste.” I said sarcastically still chilling on my phone.

“I just came to check on you.” Lexi explains. “I don’t want you fucking checking on me, what difference are you going to make? Gonna give me life advice? You gonna fucking help me?” Rue rants.

“Well, you’re one of my best friends.” She says and I try not to laugh at this pathetic scene. Lexi just couldn’t accept that the Rue she used to know is gone. I mean I guess it's sweet she doesn’t want to give up on her but I knew firsthand what a waste of time that was.

“You say all this but what happens when you knock on my door asking me to piss in some Tylenol bottle?” She said.

“Then you piss in the bottle. Cause that’s what friends do. They borrow each other’s pee so they can pass a drug test. At least that's how my family works.” I said as I got down from the counter. “Or learn how to say no for once.” Those are my last words before I leave to go meet Nate and head to the mall.

The mall wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be as Nate was constantly texting someone on his phone. Then he disappeared as soon we got there giving me some cash. I found him on the second floor leaning against the railing staring down at the first floor. Approaching him I match my line of sight with his to see who he was staring at and I see Tyler working at a kiosk. “So this is why you brought me here.” I said setting my bags down to lean against the railing. “What’s your plan to watch him until he gets off?” He nods his head eyes not moving from Tyler. “You’re insane.” I said with a sigh. “Watch my stuff.”

“Where are you going?” He asks.

“You’ll see.” I said and get on the escalator to go down to the first floor. I head toward the kiosk approaching Tyler with a flirtatious smile. “Oh my gosh, hi Tyler. (Y/N) you probably remember my friend more than me.”

“Hey, of course, I remember you, you introduced me to her.”

“Really?” I said in a faux bashful tone. “Then what time do you get out of here?”

“Not for another 4 hours.” He said and I pout at his answer. A customer wanting assistance comes up to the counter and I take this as my chance to leave.

“Maybe I’ll see you later then.” I said leaving before he answered. I take the escalator back upstairs to Nate and my stuff.

“What did you just do?” He asked annoyed. “Helped you out he gets off in 4 hours so it's enough time for you to drop me off and come back to continue your stalking.” I answered picking up my bags and head back to Nate’s truck. On the way to the truck, I noticed he started texting someone again and when we got in the truck I asked, “Who are you texting? I know it's not Maddy since she fucked Tyler.” He glares at me. “Allegedly.”

He shows me his screen of some type of dating app and I see his messages between Jules and shyguy118. “Are you catfishing the new girl?” I asked amused.

“Payback for the shit she pulled at the party.” He said starting the truck to take me to Fez’s gas station. “I don’t know if I would consider catfishing equivalent to pulling a knife on you as payback.”

“It’ll all come together eventually.” He said ominously leaving me intrigued. So I left it at that. Since I saw no point in going back to school for the day I plan to stop by to see Fez and head to work early to not waste the day. I saw Fez chilling behind the counter and he smiles upon seeing me and I smile in return as I lean on the counter across from him. “Thought you was at school?” He asked tucking my hair behind my ear.

“I was but Nate hit me up and we skipped so he could take me shopping in return for a favor I did for him.” I explained and his smile dropped at the mention of Nate. I knew Fez wasn’t a big fan of Nate but he was dealing with it as I was friends with Nate for a long time.

“Next time ask me, I’ll gladly spoil you with a trip to the mall.” He said and I smile shyly.

“Then what would I keep Nate around for?” I joked and outside Nate honks the horn as a message to hurry up and I roll my eyes. “And speak of the devil. Anyway, I just wanted to stop by since I’m going straight to work from here.”

“How’s it going at home?” He asked.

“Besides the empty fridge not the worse, didn’t even know I was gone for the half summer. Or that it was summer vacation at all.”

“Then if you want, you should come over tomorrow night or even stay over again if you want, if that's cool with you.” He offered.

“How’d you know I was missing you already.” I said kissing him. “It's tempting but I don’t wanna bur-”

“You not a burden.” He interrupts. “You been sayin' that all summer and I swear you ain’t. Just let me take care of you.” I can’t help the way my heart races at his words and it makes me wanna scream that he won’t make it official.

“Keep talking like that I’m gonna start calling you my bo-” Nate honks the horn again but this time holding it longer interrupting me.

“What was you sayin?” Fez asked after he stopped and I shake my head.

“Nothing important. Yeah, I’ll come over tomorrow, also I’m gonna get a bag of chips, so I can at least show I thought about him.” I said leaving cash on the counter and grabbing a random bag of chips I go back to Nate’s truck pissed that when I finally had the courage to try and define the relationship he fucked it up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After work when I get back home I go through my messages and an acquaintance from the cheer team before I had to quit sent me a video link telling me it's Kat in the video. I click on the link and it takes me to pornhub and I start to roll my eyes annoyed thinking I was getting fucked with before the video shows a girl getting fucked from the back. The girl being Kat or someone who looks like- Oh who am I kidding of course it's her don’t even have to see her face to know. I sent the video to Maddy asking her if she’s seen it and she sent it to Kat but she denies that it was her. All I can say is that with this video, Jules threatening Nate with a knife, Nate catfishing Jules in retaliation, and the Maddy and Tyler mess the school year was off to a chaotic start. I love it.

The next morning after getting ready I packed a bag for Fez’s place and made sure I took the cash I had earned throughout the summer with me as my parents sometimes went through my stuff looking for money when I’m not here. I put my stuff in the backseat of the car and went to school. After school, I walked out with Maddy, BB, and Cassie heading to my car but Nate and Mckay were outside waiting on them. So BB and I split from them talking for a while before I went to work. After work, I head to Fez’s house in the rain, and while I’m grabbing my bag from the backseat Rue arrives on her bike soaked. “You came all the way here in the rain.” I said shaking my head and she goes up to Fez’s door knocking constantly flipping off the cameras they had above the door.

“Hey open the door!”

“What do you want?” Ash asked still not opening the door.

“Ash let us in, Rue’s soaked.” I said and going through my bag to give her some dry socks or something as he opened the door. “Yo, who is it, man?” Fez asked. Rue goes in walking straight past him to his room and I give him a wave and sit on the couch.

“Hold on, hold on, you can’t be in here right now.” Fez told Rue and I wondered why it was a big deal she was here.

“I need some, some OCs and some socks.” She said coming out of his room and sits down on the couch.

“I offered you some socks when we were outside.” I remind. “No, you didn’t.” She corrects.

“Damn. You know, I thought about it, I just didn’t say it.” I said putting my bag down on the floor to look for a pair of socks again.

“Rue, I ain’t fuckin’ playing with you. Come on you can’t be in here.” Fez said interrupting our conversation.

“Look Fez, I’m fucking drenched. Okay? And uh… I’m out of drugs. So don’t be a dick.” She says making what she thinks are valid points.

“That’s not my fucking problem. You gotta get up out of my house before these motherfuckers come through.” He explained and I realized why he was acting like this. His supplier guy was on the way and when he came around I stayed hidden in his room but I don’t think Rue could stay quiet until they were gone like me especially when she wanted drugs.

“All I need is a couple OC’s and some Xannies. And why just me? You're not kicking (Y/N) out.”

“Maybe 'cause I was invited.” I said dryly. “Where are your pants?” I asked just realizing that she wasn’t wearing anyway.

“Look that’s all I need and I can be gone.” She begs.

“Yo, I’m trying to tell you, I don’t got shit right now. Like… Come back in a few hours, I got you, whatever you need.” He said but Rue still puts up a fight and they continue going back and forth.

“My guy’s about to come through here. I don’t want you here when he gets here, you understand?”

“That scary-looking guy right? I know the drill.” I said standing up to go to his room attempting to make Rue come with me but it was too late. His phone rings on the table and he looks from it to Rue pissed.

“Rue I could fucking kill you right now. Yo, Ash, they’re here. Look I’m serious, Rue just stay right there keep your mouth shut, and be cool.” He ordered. “These dudes ain’t fucking around.” He pulls his gun out from in between the couch cushions that Rue and I were seated on checking his bullets before returning back to its hidden spot. Rue and I sit back down and I glance over at her seeing a hint of fear as she realizes how serious Fez was when Mouse and his associate I always forgot the name of came in. And as they came in Fez sits on the couch across from us and Mouse’s attention immediately fell on us sitting next to Rue.

“So these your little bitches.” He said and I bite my tongue not to say something smart. “Nah bruh, they’re my little sisters.” He said and I looked to my lap to hide my disappointment at his words.

“Well, hello there lil sisters.” Mouse said holding his hand out to us. Rue gives him her hand and he kisses it doing the same to mind and I begin to bounce my leg nervous. “Yo, Custer toss me that bag.” He starts to tell Fez everything he has which piques Rue’s interest and I nudge her foot with mine shaking my head. Custer runs him the numbers giving Fez the total he has to pay.

“Sure you don’t want no Fentanyl?” Mouse asks.

“Nah, man I’m cool off that shit. There's too many ODs and I don’t want the heat.”

“How about the little sisters? You ever try Fentanyl?” Mouse asked turning his attention back to us.

“I’m a high schooler with a C- average, I can’t even spell Fentanyl.” I said monotone getting my usual courage back and Mouse laughs.

“I see lil sis has a sense of humor.” He turns his attention to Rue. “What about you lil sis?”

“No.” She answers.

“No, she’s good, bruh.” Fez answers for her. “Gonna let big brother talk for you?” Mouse instigates getting irritated.

“I don’t know.” Rue says looking at Fez. “Don’t look at him. Look at me.” Mouse orders putting a sample of it on a blade. “You ever try it?”

“Yo, for real, bruh. I don’t want her fucking with that shit.” Fez tries again to intervene. “I’m, I’m good actually.” Rue said.

“What don’t trust me?” He said and Fez again tries to intervene. “Shut the fuck up, bitch. Ain’t nobody talkin’ to you. Tell your big brother I’m not talking to him right now.” He said and brought the blade of Fentanyl closer to Rue’s lips. “Don’t be scared. It’s not gonna bite you.” Rue looks to Fez who shakes his head and I slightly nudge her hoping to convince her to say no again but in the end takes the drug which works pretty fast. She starts to lay down laying her head in my lap.

“You like the way that feels? You want a couple of patches, girl?” Mouse asks her.

“Okay.” Rue agrees and I look at her worried as he tucks the patches into her shorts placing her leg atop his lap. “It's gonna cost you 300.” Mouse said.

“I only have two dollars.” She mumbles and I look at her like she’s crazy. “Who comes with only two dollars to b-” I catch myself. “Not important.”

“I said 300.” He repeated starting to stroke her leg.

“Where are my pants?” She mumbles. “You took them off.” I whispered to her.

“I’ll just, just give it back.” She said but Mouse didn’t like her answer.

“I got a strict no-return policy.” He placed his hand on Rue’s leg. “Yo, Mouse let me pay for it, man.” Fez said.

“I thought you was too good for Fentanyl. What is it? Everybody’s changing their motherfucking minds on me? If she can’t afford it, she gonna have to find another way of paying me.” Mouse said sliding his hand further up her leg and I roll my eyes to reach for my bag.

“I’ll pay for it.” I said bringing his attention to me, thankfully causing his hand to freeze. “Nah, let me pay for it.” Fez said trying to stop me but I shake my head. “I got it.” I pull out the 300 handing it to Mouse.

“Dang. Your sister must love you. It's gonna cost 600 now.” He told me after counting the money. I roll my eyes again go back into my bag and give him basically all the tip money I earned over the summer. “You got a reliable little sister.” He said to Fez and removes his hand from Rue’s leg and finally leaves along with Custard. After they leave I go to grab the Narcan while Fez and Ash flush the Fentanyl. I put a blanket over Rue and grab her phone trying to figure out where to take Rue as she couldn’t stay here or at mine as both places were stocked with drugs. She can’t go home as her mom would probably kill her and Lexi wasn’t an option as her mom would probably tell Rue’s mom.

“I’m so happy.” Rue says although I could barely hear her.

“Well at least one of us is.” I said annoyed.

“You alright?” Fez asked me when he came back and I nod my head. “Just pissed I just lost a summer’s worth of hard work. I’ll have to survive off my paycheck… Again.”

“Let me pay you back.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’ll just be more money Rue owes you. And I’ll survive. I always do.” I said with a sigh as I kept scrolling through Rue’s phone till I saw Jules and called her. “Hey um this is (Y/N), I’m a friend of Rue’s” I explained to her that Rue was basically incapacitated and needed somewhere to stay as her mom would kill her and Jules agrees to let her stay with her.

“After I drop Rue off I’m gonna head home. I’ll stay another time maybe.” I said ready for this shitty night to end.

“Ar-”

“After what just happened I kinda just wanna be alone.” I explained interrupting him. “Can you help me with her?”

Not pushing it further he helps me carry Rue to my car while I go get her clothes from his room. He lays her down in the backseat and goes to give me a kiss on the cheek but I pull away remembering how Fez doesn’t see me as anything but a friend and get in the car without another word.

#euphoria #fezco fanfic #fezco x reader #fez x y/n #fezco x you #fez x reader #nate jacobs #maddy perez #rue euphoria

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florashifting · 4 months ago

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Marvel dr incorrect quotes (eternals edition)

Makkari: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Jaz: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Thena walks in*

Jaz: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

Jaz: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

Sersi : Are you a masochist or a sadist?

Druig, deadpan: I’m a Taurus.

Sersi : Do you even know what an amulet is?

Jaz: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions!

Sersi : Jaz, those are omelettes.

Jaz: Oh. Then I’ve got nothing.

Jaz: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Ikaris : What changed your mind?

Jaz: Oh, now I know that you’re a fake bitch. Why do you ask?

Jaz: You can address me as Eagle One.

Jaz: From now on we will be using code names.

Jaz: Druig is “been there done that”.

Jaz: Ikaris is “currently doing that”.

Jaz: Gilgamesh is “it happened once in a dream”.

Jaz: Ajak is “if I had to pick a dude/gal/enby”.

Jaz: And Sersi is..

Jaz: Eagle Two

Sersi : Oh thank god.

Jaz: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you.

Jaz: Ask me to kill for you.

Thena: ...First of all, calm down-

Jaz: I may be antisocial and unattractive.

Sersi : ...but?

Jaz: That's all.

*The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting*

Jaz: *walks in and sits on Thena’s lap*

The Squad: …

Kingo: Why are you sitting there?

Jaz: There’s no free seats!

Kingo: But we made sure there was enough room for-

Thena: *hugs Jaz tightly* There are no free seats.

Jaz: I never tell people off the bat that I'm queer. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm queer right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Ikaris :

Ikaris : I like you.

Jaz: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Gilgamesh, used to Jaz being dumb: Sure...

Jaz: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Gilgamesh: Okay?

Jaz: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Gilgamesh:

Jaz: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Gilgamesh: Jesus, that one is a little-

Makkari, interested: No, no, Jaz, keep going.

Jaz: We need to open this locked door. Druig, give me your credit card.

Druig: Here.

Jaz, pocketing it: Thanks. Thena, break down the door.

Makkari: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate?

Ikaris : I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

Jaz: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life.

Sersi : Please never become a surgeon.

Sersi : Treat spiders the way you want to be treated!

Jaz: Killed without hesitation.

Jaz: But that place is haunted.

Sersi : Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident!

Jaz, marching into the haunted house: I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!

Jaz: You... you said I could trust you!!

Jaz: You said you were a GAMER!!!

Sersi : Jaz... I only play mobile games.

Jaz: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Ajak: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

Jaz, wiping tears from their eyes: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it’s meant to be…

Ikaris : I’m literally just going to the store.

Druig: *Gets down on one knee*

Jaz: Oh my god! It’s finally happening! Druig: *Collapses* Jaz: The poison’s kicking in!

Jaz: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.

Ikaris : Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

Ikaris : Life could be worse, Jaz.

Jaz: Life could be a lot better too!

#reality shifting #shifting #desired reality #shiftinconsciousness #reality shift #shifting consciousness #shifting realities #shifter #marvel dr

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literary-illuminati · 1 year ago

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2024 Book Review #3 – Monstress Volume One: Awakening by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda

Monstress is one of about three comics I’ve ever considered myself an unequivocal fan of. I, alas, lost track of things during a hiatus a while back, and got to the point where I barely remembered where I was or what was happening. So, as a palate cleanser between longer books, I’m making it a project for the first chunk of the year to reread this from the start until I’m caught up again.

This is a very high concept series – a matriarchal dieselpunk fantasy world vaguely inspired by 1920s/30s East Asia with a strong art deco aesthetic. The world is divided between the Arcanic Courts – kingdoms ruled by the animalistic ‘Ancients’ and populated by the Arcanic descendants of their half-human children – and the Federation – a human nation-state dominated by witch-nuns who derive their influence from being able to render down the corpses of said Arcanics into magically potent ‘lilium’. Also there are insubstantial projections/ghosts of titanic tentacle-ey monsters that wander across the landscape sometimes. And a genocidal war ended in a stalemate a decade ago after a city was destroyed by something that no one on either side understands. Oh an in addition to the anthromorphic animal Ancients there’s also just normal cats, except they’re sapient and capable of speech and also necromancy. The book really throws you into things and a decent chunk of the first volume is just introducing and establishing the rules of the world.

The actual plot follows Maika Halfwold, an Arcanic who can pass for human except for the giant occult tattoo on her chest. The story follows her abandoning her girlfriend and voluntarily getting herself enslaved and brought to the mansion/mad science laboratory of a powerful witch-nun so she can break out, fight her way through it, and interrogate her at gunpoint for information about the giant gaps in her memory of when as a child her mother worked with the witch on an archaeological dig. Things escalate from there due to a shard of an enchanted mask and an eldritch abomination that had been slumbering with Maika’s body who is awoken by it. The balance of the volume is spent with her, an incredibly untrustworthy cat, and a vulpine arcanic child who she more or less accidentally rescued from slavery as they try to escape the manhunt after them.

So there’s a lot here, and I really do love almost all of it. Most obviously, the art is just gorgeous – I mean, I’m an easy sell on dieselpunk/fantasy 20s stuff, but genre trappings aside the detail and use of colour is just incredible, and even the less detailed panels do an amazing job capturing expressions and emotion. Basically every aspect of character and environmental design is just very deliberate as well – aesthetics reflect character, and scenes are full of little background details that help sell and fill in the world. But fundamentally just very pretty, an aesthetic pleasure to behold.

Of course, one of the things a whole page of artistic flourishing is devoted to is a flashback of Maika – a starving enslaved orphan during the war – eating the stomach of another child who’d died before her to keep herself going. This is a book that just about exults in brutality and brokenness – ‘there is more hunger in the world than love’ is basically the tagline of the entire volume. This is a world on the verge of a genocidal total war, rife with slavery and human sacrifice, and it pulls absolutely no punches about depicting that (so, so many dead children). With, like, one-three exceptions everyone is flawed and compromised and betrays something they care about when their backs are against the wall. You really and truly can’t trust anyone.

You can see this clearly with Maika herself. She’s just, genuinely an incredibly unpleasant person to be around. Responds to feeling unsure or anxious by lashing out, all but incapable of showing affection in any legible way, too wrapped up in her own mountains of bullshit to even notice what anyone around her has going on until it’s shoved right in her face, paranoid and suspicious and more comfortable with violence than uncertainty, has 100% gotten people killed multiple times due to lack of ability to get over her own (mountains, abyssal, soul-crushing) trauma – really the list just goes on. In her defence basically everyone is actually out to get her (sadly the paranoia and suspicion do not in any way actually make her more difficult to deceive or betray). Anyway, I obviously love her, and the supporting cast is very nearly as good.

Just, generally this is not a series where suffering is ennobling – fear and shame and trauma and a desperate need to cling onto what power or privilege you can drive people as much or more as sympathy for or solidarity with others going through the same things they have. The fact that the Federation is run by a bunch of genocidal religious fanatics doesn’t mean the Ancients ruling the Arcanic Courts are good, or even necessarily that they care about the lives of their subjects beyond their own power and pleasure. It could easily tip over the edge into monochrome nihilism, but it actually manages to toe the line very well.

Though like, despite everything I just said, it does do the oddly common modern genre fic thing where there’s brutal unsparing depictions of colonial plunder and oppression but also everyone’s an intersectional feminist. Not as much as some, but the race-war is between humans and arcanics with no one seeming to care on whit about intraspecies ethnicity or race, and the setting is matriarchal in the modern implicit glass ceiling way a modern American corporation is patriarchal, not the way a midcentury warlord state or fascist empire is patriarchal (not that this means there aren’t graphic threats of rape or depictions of what’s clearly sex slavery just that being the one holding the lash isn’t really gendered).

So yeah, overall happy to report that the first volume of this still absolutely and entirely holds up – and considered as a work on its own the first volume really coheres far better than I’d realized when I was first reading this in one mad rush. Very much looking forward to continuing on to volume 2.

#book review #monstress #comic #sff #lesbian space atrocities #Marjorie Liu #Sana Takeda

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theplottdump · 10 months ago

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Any tips for making a legacy, for lack of a better term, weirder? I've worked pretty much every occult possible into the family tree but I feel like I get too focused on just maintaining needs and normal daily family life for them, especially since I prefer to keep everyone more or less happy (i.e. no tragic early deaths). The most exciting things I've really done are turn one sim into a Global Superstar and marry off another one to the Grim Reaper, and sometimes I pause aging for a bit to spend more time on certain plots. Your legacy is obviously pretty wild so I wondered how you go about coming up with ideas like Michael Bublé Christmas Getaways and Charlie's Angels Spy Squads haha

This is a great question!! Let me see if I can dig up a good enough answer for it 😂

And I'll include pictures to break up the massive wall of text.

The reason Gens 1-3 are barely mentioned on here is because in reality there wasn't really anything interesting that happened in them. I wanted to hide away from the stress of a worldwide pandemic and watch my sims garden for a while. No real rules, just something to relax.

Gen 4 was a slight departure since I was getting a little tired of my sims doing the same thing over and over, and I decided to do the opposite and move them to a penthouse in the city as a refreshing change.

And as I started playing with more gameplay mods that added extra moodlets- the chance of hysterical death rose exponentially. My Gen 4 heir died when my Gen 5 heir, Hinoki was just a kid. So I decided to keep him around as a ghost while my Gen 3 heir worked on grinding out the ingredients for Ambrosia and Reed (Gen 4) continued to follow his political aspirations to become the first Ghost President of Simerica.

And this is where we find the nexus point of weird. And here's the biggest (not so secret) secret to it. The beginning of Gen 5 is when I started actually sharing my gameplay.

Not publicly, but with a small group of friends and simmers on a discord, like I've mentioned before here. Suddenly I wasn't just playing for myself, I was very slowly starting to play to make my friends laugh- to see how they reacted whenever I would leave little updates. And I found I really enjoyed that!

I started contriving little scenarios- what if Hinoki slept with her husband's band mate and had a secret child. And then someone would pop in and say she might have to run away for a while to Tartosa to have a baby. This independent toddler trait gives baby Val such a stink face- oh you should put him in a tiny leopard print robe to match. And it became this back and forth of - you know what would be funny?

I was started going off the rule from my friend @anotherplumbob that my first born would be the heir, so i had the fun task of figuring out how to get from point A to point B with Valerian, and what the hell point B even looked like.

We knew he was evil- he killed his dad as a toddler, and was just a full creep through his entire childhood- and so I started asking, what story do I want to tell my friends? I love romcoms, I love spy movies- what would be fun for me?

We're all influenced by our environments, the art, media, and music we consume, and that's all directly reflected into what we decide to put back out into the world.

And through exploring those characters, through playing the game, through my friends throwing the weirdest suggestions at me - what if he made a robot copy of his childhood Nanny? Okay, what mods can I use to reflect that in my gameplay? - What if he 3D printed a baby? - What if the Volcano gave them another baby? (this one is never happening shooby) - The whole thing spiraled out of control 😂

SO TDLR- How can you make your legacy weirder?

Find a community or even a couple trusted friends to bounce ideas off of. The amount of time I've spent conniving and scheming with @doctorsimcraft should honestly be studied. Write for yourself and like the 4 people you care most about. Enthusiasm is infectious. Find some good gameplay mods to add color to your gameplay- More Personality Please is an absolute game changer. Wicked Whims and Lumpinou's RPO are also fantastic additions if that's your style. Hopefully the game throws you some fun curveballs. Adversity and conflict breed interesting story - or something like that. Think about the types of stories that you would be excited to tell- really lean into your favorite tropes and themes. It's not a checklist, it's just like - I really love campy spies, I really love enemies to lovers - what do I do in game to make this happen. Find your story and let drive your gameplay- not the other way around. Or find a good balance and see what happens.

And to be honest I've very much lost that balance and fallen into a total rut of letting the story overtake the gameplay. So whenever I get too overwhelmed by my stupid large ambitions I just sit down and play and see where the game takes me.

I hope I can get back to not posing every single scene out for Gen 7 but I also love making poses, and breaking my game in every way to be able to tell the stories I want to!

It's why I'm so comically slow now. But I guess that just means we get to spend more time getting to know our characters, which I do genuinely enjoy.

I don't know if that was helpful or incredibly unhelpful- but it's what I got. Good luck! And above all have fun- in whatever shape that may take. (Hopefully it's a weird one)

xo, Anne

#mailbox #Anonymous

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sequinsmile-x · 10 months ago

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The Games We Play - Chapter 2

She’d survived the very worst a person could, lived through things that still kept her up at night, the screams of other innocent people ringing in her head as sleep evaded her.

She’d survived so much, but she didn’t think she’d survive leading him to his death.

A Hunger Games AU

-x-

Hi friends,

Thanks so much for the reaction to chapter 1 <3

AU's in general are always nerve wracking, but this one feels even more so because I am aware it's a little bit of an out-there idea. I really appreciate the support on this unhinged little fic, and I really hope you like this chapter.

Please let me know what you think!

-x-

Words: 4.6k

A full list of warnings can be found on the series master list

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

She seeks him out on the train.

He’d left the dining carriage not long after they left the district, and at first, she leaves him to it, giving him the space she remembers needing herself. It was strange to leave home, the only place you’d ever been, and not know if you’d be coming alive or in a body bag. Not everyone even got that, the brutality that the tributes sometimes showed each other beyond imagination, as if the Capitol had truly won in convincing them all that they were each other's enemies. Their gaze and anger turned inwards, instead of all of them looking out to see who was using them like chess pieces.

She goes looking for him for a couple of hours, Kate’s crying eventually getting to her, too many memories of other tributes who hadn’t come home haunting her. The ghosts of children whose faces she’d never forget in every reflective surface she walked past.

She finds him at the back of the train looking out of the large window, scenery they’d otherwise never get to see speeding past them, hints of life and freedom in the birds that flew between the trees. She clears her throat as she steps into the carriage and he looks up at her, his smile tight as their eyes meet.

“Want me to leave you alone?” She asks, not stepping any closer to him and he shakes his head.

“No,” he replies, “I wouldn’t mind the company.”

She nods and walks towards him, revealing that she has two glasses of scotch behind her back, smiling wryly as she tries to hand him one, “Here, I brought you this.”

He frowns, the smell from the glass familiar, the scent of alcohol something he thinks he might always associate with his father, “We’re not ol-”

“We’re old enough to die for a TV show,” she says, pressing the drink into his hand before she sits next to him, “I think we’re old enough to have a drink.”

He pauses for a moment and considers arguing with her. He thinks about putting the drink down, ignoring that she’d brought it to him, but he doesn’t. There was something about it pulling him in, the chance to break the rules, to do something he’d never done before, tempting as he thinks about the fact his days are numbered. He nods and takes a sip, something simmering in his gut when she smiles widely at him.

He’d never been able to say no to her anyway.

She laughs at him when he grimaces at the taste, at the burn in the back of his throat, and for a moment they are children again, playing in her mother’s house with no regard for anything other than the fun they were having. The train jolts and pulls them out of it, bringing them back to the harsh reality they were in.

“Can I ask you something?” She asks, and he nods in response, “What happened with you and Haley?”

He smiles sadly, scratching the back of his head as he thinks of his ex-girlfriend, the woman he thought he’d one day marry, “We talked about the future. She wanted kids. I don’t,” he sighs and shakes his head, “I can’t imagine bringing a child into this world and then potentially sending them into this.”

Emily nods even though he’s not looking at her, blowing out a steady breath, “I know what you mean. Especially now I’m a victor.”

He looks up at her, his eyebrows knitting together with curiosity. He’s so close she could reach out and touch the line it creates between his eyebrows, press her thumb into the ravine that she’s sure would get so much deeper as he got older.

If he ever got older.

“Why?”

She smiles sadly, “The kid of a victor would almost be guaranteed to go in the games,” she says her lips pressed together as she shrugs, “It makes good TV. It would show even the strongest of us aren’t protected.”

There’s a pause, and it stretches out between them. Tied together with threads of their separate histories, tattered edges knotting together to create a morbid tapestry.

“What about you and that guy from District One?” He asks, breaking the silence, his voice soft, as if he was afraid to ask.

She smiles wryly, “Ian?” She says and he nods, making her chuckle, “Don’t believe everything you read, Aaron. He’s just a guy who won’t take no for an answer.”

He isn’t sure what to say to that, how to feel about the wave of protectiveness that washes over him, so he clenches his teeth and decides to move the conversation on.

“Where’s Kate?” He asks, looking at the amber liquid in his glass before he takes another sip, this one going down easier than the first.

“Dave’s comforting her,” she replies, looking out the window, her gaze fixed on the trees, “She’s upset,” she says, even though it’s obvious. She looks at him and takes a moment to study him as he continues to look at his drink. He was handsome, he always had been, but the boyishness that had once been in his features had faded away. Sharp features had replaced once rounder ones as if they’d cut through from underneath, pushing away innocence and childhood with the harsh realities of life. He looks up at her and she clears her throat, pushing down the embarrassment that she feels at being caught staring at him, “What you did was really brave.”

He laughs wryly and nods, blowing out a slow breath before he finishes his drink. It was objectively brave, he knew that, if he’d seen anyone else do it he’d think the same thing, but he didn’t feel brave. He couldn’t have let his brother do this, couldn’t let him march towards certain death when he could help.

He wasn’t sure it counted as bravery when it was his only option.

“He’s my brother,” he says simply, “I only did what was right,” he says as he puts down his empty glass. He can see her start to argue with him, the pinch between her brows something he’d seen countless times before, so he cuts her off before she can, “So, how does this work? Do you and Dave train us both? Do we have a mentor each?”

She sighs at the change of subject but lets it slide, well aware that he needed to deal with this in the way he needed to, that her feelings weren’t important in any of this, “One each - I’ll be working with you, Dave will be with Kate.”

He frowns, “I saw you with Tara last year,” he says, feeling momentarily regretful when she flinches for a second, a brief reaction she can’t control at the mention of the female tribute from the year before. She’d almost made it, survived until the final three, and then was killed by a career tribute from District One, “Don’t you usually work with the female tribute?”

She nods, pressing her lips together to gather herself, “Yes but, because we’re friends Dave suggested I work with you,” she says, the lie slipping past her lips easily.

She used to hate lying, used to think the truth was always the better option no matter what, but one thing she’d learnt since leaving the arena was that lying was the way to keep everyone she cared about safe. She’d asked Dave if she could work with Aaron and had ignored his concern. Selfishly, she wanted to spend as much time with Aaron as she could, so if she did lose him, if she had to watch him die helplessly and keep a straight face, she would be able to tell herself that she’d done her very best to help him.

He chuckles wryly, “Friends? Em, we’ve barely spoken since I started to date…” he drifts off and shakes his head, cut off by the look of hurt that flashes across her face, guilt sparking in his gut, and the thought of his ex-girlfriend, her name turning to ash on his tongue at the thought of how she must be feeling about all of this. He sighs, “Look, that wasn’t fair. I’m-”

“No,” she says, tucking her loose hair behind her ear, “You’re right. I haven’t…” she sighs and a humourless laugh escapes her, “It’s not been an easy few years.”

The guilt in his belly catches fire, spreading through his blood as he reaches out and places his hand on her arm. It’s only when he does it that he realises it’s been years since he’d touched her, and he feels like an addict, the desire to never let go forcing him to do just that, his hand springing back like he’d been burned.

“I am sorry, Em,” he says, smiling tightly at her, “I can’t imagine how you’ve felt since you came back.”

She looks down at her arm where he touched her, his warmth lingering where his palm had been. She knows she’ll inspect her skin later, that she’ll check to see if he’d left a mark behind, if he’d somehow branded her with a simple touch because she can almost feel it burn. She looks up at him and smiles, and she shrugs half-heartedly.

“Well, in a few weeks when we’re back on this train, you’ll know.”

It’s false optimism neither of them buy into, but he can’t help but smile back at her, “Yeah,” he replies, “I will.”

___

She’s running.

Her lugs hurt, her feet her almost numb with pain, a dampness in her shoes she knows is blood and not water, but she can’t stop running.

Her life depends on it.

“You can run, but you can’t hide pretty. The things I’ll do to you when I catch you.”

She’s only forced further forward by Karl’s words, by the foul implication dripping from them. She’d seen what he’d done to some of the other girls, and had seen the joy he’d derived from it. Emily wasn’t going to give him the pleasure of killing her, she was going to outlive him or she was going out on her own terms.

She curses as she realises she’s run into a dead end, her feet just touching the cliff edge as she comes to a stop. She can hear him gaining on her, his thundering footsteps getting louder, and she closes her eyes, giving herself a second, one final moment of peace, but when she opens her eyes she sees a shimmer in the sky. It’s almost discernible from the blue of the fake sky in above her but she sees it. She chuckles as she remembers what Dave had told her about the forcefield, about the edge of the arena, and she pulls her knife out of her pocket. She looks over her shoulder and sees that Karl is right behind her, a smirk on his face as if he had won already. She looks straight ahead and she throws the knife, immediately ducking as it hits the forcefield and bounces back. She’s knocked to the ground by the force of the soundwaves that echo around her, her hand automatically covering her ears as she tries to protect them.

Everything goes eerily silent, everything overwhelmingly quiet after so much nose, and her hands shake as she removes them from her ears. Her arms are unsteady as she pushes herself up off the ground. She walks over to where Karl is lying, the same smirk still painted on his face, a grim flash burn of the last moment of his life, and her knife planted firmly in the centre of his chest.

She jumps when the canon goes off, half convinced until that moment she’d lost her hearing, and she looks up at the sky, Karl’s face briefly emblazoned on it, before the disembodied voice of the game maker fills the arena.

“Ladies and Gentleman, the winner of this year's Hunger Games - Emily Prentiss.”

___

Aaron was exhausted.

No matter how much training they did, how much preparation Emily had put him through the last few days, he couldn’t sleep. It alluded him, forever out of reach as he slept in a bedroom bigger than his childhood home.

He’s walking around the apartment they’d been assigned when he hears her scream, the sound of it pulling him towards her room immediately. When he walks in she’s wrapped up in the bed sheets, twisting in the bed as if she’s trying to escape from something he can’t see. He runs over and sits on the edge of Emily’s bed, placing his hand on her sheet-covered knee and squeezing as he says her name.

“Em,” he says, quietly at first, not wanting to startle her, “Em, you need to wake up,” he says, shifting closer, his hand skating up her side as it lands on her shoulder. He turns her towards him and the look on her face, the devastation she couldn’t escape even in her sleep, makes him ache, “Sweetheart, please,” he says, the nickname slipping out of nowhere as he begs her to come back to him, “Wake up.”

She sits up so fast that their foreheads would have collided if he hadn’t moved, a gasp loud enough to shake the walls escaping her as she looks at him, her eyes wide. She tries to shift away, as if she doesn’t recognise him, still half asleep as she tries to shake the rest of the nightmare off.

“Emily, it’s me. It’s Aaron.”

She breathes heavily, her chest rapidly moving up and down as she frowns at him, recognition finally seeping into her eyes, “Aaron?”

“Yeah,” he says, smiling encouragingly as he rests his hand on her shoulder again, grateful when she doesn’t flinch, “It’s me. I was walking past and I heard you.”

She frowns, “Heard me what?”

He presses his lips together briefly as he weighs up his options, but he knows she needs the truth, “I heard you scream.”

“Oh,” she says, clearing her throat, her cheeks burning with embarrassment, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” he says, smiling softly at her. His gaze drifts to his hand on her shoulder and he lets it drop to the mattress, “Were you dreaming about the games?”

She nods, her hand pressed against her chest as her heart still hammers at her rib cage, the beat of it so hard she thinks her ribs might crack, that the places the Capitol doctors had put her back together would slowly unravel.

“Yeah,” she says, her nerves too shot from the nightmare to deny it, “It’s always the same moment.”

He’d watched her games, and had felt relief when she’d won. It was the only one he remembers all the details of, the names of the other tributes forever burned into his memory.

They were people he’d prayed would die so the girl he loved would win.

“What moment?” He asks without thinking, his eyes going wide as he realises what he’s said, “You don’t have to-”

“When I won,” she says, cutting over him, feeling a strange sense of relief in finally saying this to someone. She was under no illusion that her mother hadn’t heard her screams. Elizabeth made her coffee on the mornings after the worst nights, or sent for her favourite bread from the bakery. A silent apology that would have to do, because Emily knew if her mother asked about it, if she acknowledged what her daughter had gone through, the house of cards they’d built around themselves stuck together with half-truths and platitudes would come crumbling down, “It’s always the moment when I won.”

He nods, “The knife and the forcefield,” he says, “I didn’t know what you were doing at first.”

She hums sadly, shaking her head she repeats the words she’d heard again and again anytime she saw footage of any of the games - hers included.

“The moment a tribute becomes a Victor,” she says, doing an impersonation of Penelope that gets a smile out of him that she matches, “Not that there are any Victors,” she says, her smile fading, “Just survivors.”

Her words are heavy in the air, laying like a cloying blanket over them, an acknowledgement that even if he won that he’d never be free trapping them in place. He eventually clears his throat and starts to stand up.

“Well, I should go back-”

“Please stay,” she says, reaching out and grabbing his wrist before she can stop herself, her basic instinct to keep him close winning out over everything else, “I…please stay.”

He doesn’t have to think about it, he simply nods and climbs into bed next to her, careful to make sure he’s on the other side of the mattress from her, their bodies not touching as they lay next to each other. For a moment it’s awkward but he turns his head to look at her, a half smile on his face as her eyes meet his.

“I think this bed is bigger than my bedroom at home.”

She chuckles and rests her head back on her pillow, “I will give the Capitol one thing,” she says, blowing out a shaky breath, “They sure know how to make a mattress.”

When they wake up in the morning they are tangled together on his side of the bed, wrapped up like vines that had grown side by side, destined to become indistinguishable from one another.

___

“He needs to smile more.”

Emily doesn’t look at Dave, doesn’t tear her eyes from the screen as she slaps his chest with one hand, the other by her mouth as she bites her cuticles, “He’s doing fine.”

“He’s lucky he has the whole volunteering for his brother thing on his side,” Dave says as he steps closer to the TV, Aaron’s one-on-one interview with Jason Gideon, the host of the games, happening live in front of them, “Let’s be honest, not a lot of star power on that screen right now.”

“Shut up Dave,” she says, finally turning from the screen and looking at him, “He’s doing his best. I didn’t do great either.”

He nods thoughtfully, “True. I think that was the first time they’d ever had to censor a 15-year-old on the show before.”

She chuckles and looks back at the screen, blowing out a slow breath as she looks at the other tributes sitting behind Aaron as he speaks to Gideon, her gaze fixed on one of them in particular, “I don’t like the look of him.”

Dave frowns as he leans in and gets a closer look, “Oh, that intense guy from four? What was his name…”

“George Foyet,” she says, turning to look at him, “He reminds me of Karl. I think he’ll get a kick out of it all.”

“He does have that look about him,” Dave replies, watching her carefully, concern washing over him. She was clearly close to Aaron, or had been at some point, and he was worried she was setting herself up to get hurt. It hadn’t escaped his notice that Aaron’s room had been untouched for days and that Emily wasn’t screaming in the middle of the night anymore. “Bella, are you-”

“Shh,” she says, tuning back into what was being said, aware that the conversation was wrapping up.

“So, do you have a special lady waiting back home?” Gideon asks and Aaron looks down at his hands before he looks at the camera and he shakes his head.

“No, I used to but…” he trails off and shakes his head, “We broke up.”

“That’s a shame,” Gideon replies, leaning forward in his chair towards Aaron, “There must be someone else though, someone else you’ve had your eye on.”

Aaron sighs and Emily swears she can see his thought process, can see him physically weighing up the pros and cons of what he was about to say, “Well, there is someone. I’ve loved her for as long as I can remember” he says, his smile tight, “But it won’t ever work.”

“Why not?”

Aaron looks down the camera, an intensity in his eyes that, for a moment, makes Emily feel like he’s talking directly to her, “Because I came here with her.”

She feels her breath catch in her chest as she flicks her gaze to where Kate is sitting on the stage, any vague hope she’d felt the last few days, waking up in his arms even when they fell asleep on separate parts of the bed, gone in an instant.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Dave says, shaking his head, “Maybe he does have it in him.”

“Yeah,” Emily says, swallowing thickly, “Maybe he does.”

___

She avoids him after the interviews, purposely changing the habits she’d formed in the time they’d been in the Capitol, and it takes him a while to find her using the tactics she’d taught him on how to track someone against her.

He finds her on the roof of the building, her elbows resting on the edge as she looks out over the city. The fireworks going off in the distance make him feel sick, the celebratory feeling in the air more akin to that of a festival rather than marking the start of the death match between children that would begin in the morning.

“Emily?”

She turns to look at him, her smile fake, the one she always wore in front of her mother or the cameras, as their eyes meet, “Aaron, what are you doing up here?”

“Looking for you,” he replies, walking over to join her, “You disappeared.”

“I don’t have the privilege of being able to disappear,” she says, her grip on the wall in front of her tightening as the smell of him washes over her. He smelt different here, clean and fresh in a way that wasn’t always possible at home, the Capitol’s array of soaps something that had surprised even her and her relative privilege when she first came here. He smelt different, but there was something that was still him sneaking out from underneath, “Don’t you want to spend the evening with Kate?”

She regrets it as soon as she asks it, pettiness winning out for a second. It could be his last night in some sense of normality before he died and she was upset because her feelings had been hurt, her unrequited love for him that had followed her everywhere her whole life making itself known at the worst possible time. She looks up at him, expecting to see the sting of her words on his face, but she’s only met with confusion.

“Kate?” He asks, and then it clicks into place, the assumption she must have made when he was speaking to Gideon, trying to win some kind of favour with the audience. He’d thought about his literature class at school, how the teacher had always told them that a love story pulled people in, and he’d thought of Emily. Thought of how her seat had been empty during that class because she’d been here in the Capitol, ready to fight for her life. He’d loved her for so long that it had felt good to admit it, even if it wasn’t the whole truth, “Oh, no. Em-”

“I’m sorry,” she says, turning to walk away, “I think I’m just tired-” she’s stopped as he grabs her shoulders and turns her to look at him, his expression intense, a hint of fierceness to it that makes her breath catch in her throat, “What-”

He cuts her off, his words falling free before he can even think about stopping them. He could be brave now.

He might not have many chances left,

“I wasn’t talking about her,” he says, dropping his hands from her shoulders, both of them frozen in place, “I was talking about you.”

It’s everything she’s ever wanted to hear at the worst possible time, and her chest shudders as she lets out a choked noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob, “Me?”

“Well, I wasn’t talking about Dave,” he says, offering her a half smile that fades as she doesn’t respond to the joke, “Em-”

“Why did you never say anything?”

“You stopped talking to me,” he says, no malice in his voice, only confusion that somehow made him seem younger.

“I was protecting you,” she says quietly, “President Barnes, she…well let's just say, the people close to Victor’s don’t always have the longest life expectancy. The entire time I was in that arena I told myself if I lived I’d tell you. I’d admit what I’d always been too scared to…but I wanted you to live and be happy,” she laughs bitterly, “Even if it was with someone else.”

He knows her well enough to read between the lines and he steps closer, the space between them so small now he can feel her breath skip across his face, “Are you saying…”

She nods, her eyes boring straight into his, an intensity in the darkness of them he’d never seen before, “I love you too.”

Everything shifts, everything he thought he knew suddenly different, and the lingering fear he’d felt for days about what he was about to do disappears. For a moment he feels nothing but love for her. He leans in to kiss her, drawn in by the way she’s looking at him, but she stops him, her fingers pressed against his lips as she shakes her head desperately. It physically hurts to stop him but she can’t let herself have this, can’t have a taste of him when he might die tomorrow.

“No,” she says, the word catching in her throat, “I can’t. You’re…I’ve dreamt of this for years and I don’t think one kiss, one evening would ever be enough,” she says, her thumb still resting against his lower lip, her entire body aching to lean forward to kiss him, “I can’t spend the rest of my life desperately trying to remember what it was like to kiss you.”

He wishes he could pretend that he didn’t understand, but he does. Any amount of time with her would never be enough. Whether it was one night or a lifetime, and if he was her, if he was the one sending her off to what could end up being her death, he knew he couldn’t do it either. That the unknown was better, that it would allow her imagination to live on after him. He tightens his hold on her, pulling her into a fierce hug so he doesn’t go against her wishes, settling for kissing the top of her head instead, for smelling her hair and the shampoo that had always been too nice for where they came from.

“How about,” he says, a hand on either side of her face as he pulls back to look at her, his thumbs catching tears as they land on her cheeks, “ If I live, I’ll take you on a date when I get back?”

She chokes out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob and she shakes her head as she presses her forehead against his, “Aaron…”

He cups the back of her head and encourages her backwards again, the same smile she’d fallen in love with when she was too young to understand what it meant painted across his face, “Come on,” he says encouragingly, “Give a man going off to his death something to live for.”

She has to bite back the tears, not wanting his last memory of her to be one full of sorrow. She blows out a shaky breath before she nods. She smiles shakily at him and wipes a tear from his face as she does so, pushing it away trying to commit the feel of his skin against hers to her memory.

“Okay,” she says, nodding, an edge of desperation to it, “It’s a date.”

-x-

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