#and then decided I am not hungry enough for that every time
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lyraeon · 1 year ago
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holy fuck I want to write so bad I am ready to gnaw on a wooden railing
but I can't get any words to brain
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rafesangelita · 6 days ago
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⊹₊⟡⋆♡ oh, nothing! just bitchy!kook!reader walking around the house in nothing but rafe’s favorite heels after he decides talking on the phone with his friends is more important than paying attention to his girl..
warnings: bratty behavior, rafe being sexually frustrated lol, groping, heavy teasing, suggestive ending
a/n: just a little something on the shorter side because these 2k+ wc fics have done their number on me lol
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you rolled your eyes, an exasperated sigh leaving your lips as rafe’s laughter echoed from upstairs. he has been on a three way call with kelce and topper for going on an hour now, and while you usually didn’t care, he had you waiting for him downstairs in full glam and an empty tummy. this is what you get when you try to play nice and put your catty attitude to the side for one night; a negligent boyfriend who had no care for anything else in the world except for what him and his idiot friends were rambling on about. your impatience is what lead you to be in the position you were in right now; naked and ignoring rafe as he followed you around the house, begging you to give him the slightest amount of attention.
“we can go get dinner now, okay?! i was just listening to topper vent about ruthie, i swear i wasn’t ignoring you!” he refrained from stopping you in your tracks, his cock stirring in his pants when he watched the way your hips swayed with every step. “oh, really?” you spun around, your boyfriend’s eyes falling down to your bare chest, “not responding to me when i called you downstairs like a thousand times wasn’t you ignoring me?” rafe opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when you walked away from him again. this time he watched you round the corner of the hallway, making your way into the kitchen before cursing under his breath.
you could tell you were driving rafe insane by the way he was gripping the kitchen island, his knuckles white with tension. “so, what? you’re just going to walk around like that?” he asked, his eyes burning into your skin. you shrugged, bending over the counter with a look in your eyes that made him want to wrap a fist in your hair and take you right there. “too bad you were busy with your friends earlier.. i actually wanted to be the sweet girlfriend tonight and give you dessert after dinner. oh well..” you pouted, walking past him as you flipped your hair over your shoulder. why were you like this? toxic, bitchy, mean, but still irresistible, sexy, and perfect?
“it won’t happen again, i promise.” rafe was hypnotized as he watched you walk into the living room, your heels clicking against the floor as your boyfriend pleaded with you to let him take you upstairs. “maybe the neighbors would appreciate the view a lot more than you do—” you barely touched the curtains before your boyfriend snatched you away from the large window. “that’s enough.” he said through gritted teeth, his gruff voice just right below your ear. suppressing the butterflies from fluttering in your tummy, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “that poor excuse of an apology isn’t gonna get you anywhere.” rafe chuckled, his hands feeling like fire on your hips.
“let me show you how sorry i am..” he turned you around, his cock aching as he could now feel your tits pressing against him through his shirt. he was making it really hard for you to keep up your act. “acting like a little brat, i know exactly what you need right now.” you gasped when you felt him take a handful of your ass, his bruising grip only exciting you further. “and what is that?” you leaned in, feeling the last of your resolve crumble when he took your hand to feel him through the denim of his jeans. “it’s so hard for you, baby,” he nearly moaned, lowering his tone, “and i’m still so hungry..”
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crushmeeren · 1 year ago
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♡ Todoroki/Fem Reader
♡ Master List Link
⇢ Everyone involved in this fic is aged up/18+.
⇢ Warnings; cursing, making out, dirty talk, Shouto is a champ at eating pussy/ass, fingering, vaginal sex, Shouto is a little subby in this
♡ Authors Note; I had to complete the headcannons for my favorite three MHA boys sooner rather than later. I love Shouto, he deserves all the good things and a lot of hugs.
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Shouto who comes off as cold, uninterested, a giant dick — but who is so sweet and so loving it makes your teeth ache. Who is the kind of person that writes down facts about you so he doesn’t forget — you accidentally stumbled upon the list in his notes app and promptly cried.
Shouto who never ceases to buy extra of what he’s eating so you can have some too, even if you weren’t hungry in the first place.
Shouto who doesn’t understand social cues very well. Who tilts his head adorably when he’s confused. Who wears a blank, spaced out expression on his face often when he’s unsure of what’s going on.
Shouto who lets you teach him how to read the room a bit easier, to understand body language and tone. Whose pretty smile could melt icy glaciers with its tender warmth. Who is so comfortable with you he makes all sorts of facial expression, which you take as a triumphant win.
Shouto who you met in high school but didn’t date until after graduation. Who you crossed paths with while battling a villain and you caught mid air as he was nose diving from the top of a building. Who was probably a bit delirious because he swears he saw you with a halo, because he “fell in love with an Angel that day.”
Shouto who loves to drink strawberry milk. Who has so many cartons cluttering the fridge in your home it drives you nuts. Who compulsively brings you a glass when he’s drinking some because he’s learned he can show you he loves you by sharing what enjoys. It’s so cute when you get a glass out of nowhere.
Shouto who decides to be a bit “rebellious” after he gets out of high school. Who decides to cut his hair shaggy and short. Who gets a nose ring, pierces his ears and acquires a tongue ring. Who is with you when you get your own body modifications, and often wears jewelry that reminds him of you.
Shouto who claims his absolute favorite thing in the world is to snuggle up with you on the couch. Especially when it’s raining and the two of you are wrapped up in a fluffy blanket burrito, watching movies and napping. If it turns X rated, well who can blame you?
Shouto who is a dry texter. We’re talking Sahara Desert dry. Who does still take the time to send you pictures of things you love while he’s out on patrol, especially of dogs that he encounters. Who gets so happy when you respond in kind, forming your own language with one another.
Shouto who tends to wear a streetwear style when he’s not working. Who likes to wear matching clothes with you. Who even bought you both a pair of matching underwear with your faces on them. You’re unable to resist, you’re technically sitting on his face all day… right??
Shouto who is terrible at almost every video game, but who can annihilate anyone at Mario Kart. You’re definitely not bitter about that. Funnily enough, the best part of game night when everyone is over is watching Bakugou lose his mind when Sho decimates repeatedly.
Shouto who has remained tight knit with Midoriya. Who considers the man as his brother by extension, and who you’ve grown close to as well. Who goes to the #1 hero for help planning you a surprise party by sending Midoriya a series of increasingly concerning emojis until he agrees.
Shouto who loves to eat peach gummy rings. Who you have, on more than one occasion, woken up to eating the candy at 2:00 am. Who offers you one, which you casually eat and go back to bed. Who memorizes your favorite candy and leaves it for you to find everywhere.
Shouto who has told you the story of how he got his burn scar. About his father, his brother and all the horrors of his past. Who opened up to you, willingly sharing a side of himself others don’t get the privilege to see.
Shouto who has taken you to meet his family, to meet his mother. Who added you to the group chat with all his siblings, which is unbelievably entertaining. Who tries to fit his face with more than one expression when he meets your parents, but you make sure he knows he’s perfect for you just the way he is.
Shouto who loves you unconditionally. Who is your soul mate, your best friend. Whose love for you has grown bigger than a California Redwood tree. Who becomes your husband, who you love more than life itself. You’d start a goddamn war for this man.
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Shouto who enjoys kissing. Who loves to lazily make out with you. Whose cock starts twitching in his briefs when the kiss turns messy. Whose lips get slick and puffy as they press together consistently with yours. Who eagerly slips his tongue into your mouth, sucking on it and sinking his teeth into your bottom lip so roughly it stings.
Shouto who likes to spread you out on your back in bed, stripping you until your only in one of his large T-shirts. Who leers at you when he pushes it up your belly, gently letting it catch on your tits until he can watch them fall and bounce. Who makes you keep the shirt up around your collarbone when he sucks on your nipples.
Shouto who bites the skin on your sternum, plush lips tickling your belly as he makes his way to your pussy. Who grips the bottoms of your thighs and presses them backwards to your chest. Who stares at you with heavy lidded eyes as he licks from your pussy to your clit, making sure to swirl the cold metal of his tongue ring around it.
Shouto whose eyes flutter closed while he eats you out. Who makes you cry out when he sucks your clit, tongue ring passing over it with each methodical swipe of his tongue. Who praises you murmuring “your pussy is amazing angel, will you let me eat your ass? pretty please?”
Shouto who strips you both. Whose flushed cock stands full and heavy when you see it. Who flips you, yanking your ass in the air and shoving your face into the sheets. Who spanks you unforgivingly and grips the thick flesh of your ass to spread you open. Who chills his tongue ring even more and kitten licks at your rim until you want to scream.
Shouto who shoves two fingers in your pussy without warning. Who curls and thrusts them as he sucks on your rim until you cum so hard you see stars. Who pulls away from you, stroking himself for relief and speaks with a wrecked voice pleading “I want to put my cock in you so badly, can I please princess?”
Shouto who is aware you’re a pillow princess, but has hearts in his eyes, cheeks flushing bubblegum pink when you tell him you’ll ride him for a bit. Who props his back up against the headboard with a couple pillows, allowing you to flip around so your back faces him. Who holds your wrists behind your back as you ride him, letting out delicate and whiny moans while you make his toes curl.
Shouto who spreads you with his free hand, eyes glued as his cock disappears into your pussy while you bounce in his lap. Whose dick throbs, breathing hitching when you throw your head back and you moan “fuck Shouto, your cock is so good, you’re gonna make me cum!”
Shouto who reaches his limit, pushing you off his cock and onto your back whispering filthy praise in your ear. Who grips his shaft, teasing your clit with the tip before slipping his dick all the way back inside with one fluid roll of his hips.
Shouto who bends you in half, hooking your knees over his shoulders and folding you into a mating press. Who fucks you roughly, hips curling up with the intention to bully your g-spot. Who makes sure you feel each drag of his cock, coaxing you into cumming with a handful of strokes. Who gets you to cum over and over, little water balloons of warm pleasure popping and coursing through you.
Shouto who produces low moans when your pussy squeezes his cock. Who desperately pleads with you to cum one more time because he can’t hold on for much longer.
Shouto who makes you feel dizzy as you chase your pleasure once more while folded as a pretzel. Who cums instantly when your sweet cries hit his ears, praising and encouraging him all at once. Who pushes into the hilt, grinding against you as he bursts at the seams, panting to catch his breath.
Shouto who giggles with you as he untangles your limbs. Who flops down beside you, lacing your fingers together as you enjoy the leftover bliss.
Shouto who eventually gets up to clean you both. Who finds the shirt you were previously wearing and some clean panties for you to wear. Who pulls you into a hug, murmuring how much he loves you, planting kisses all over your face. Shouto who then goes to the kitchen and brings you a glass of strawberry milk.
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chelseeebe · 3 months ago
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moth to a flame
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18+. mdni. smut. king!steve x kinda alt fem!reader. mentions of alcohol and drugs throughout. no ud so steve never gets the opportunity to develop from his jackass high school self. both he and tommy are kinda mean to poor old reader but he makes up for it in the end i promise.
a/n: there's something about lil stevie at the moment.. i think it's because i neglected him for so long that now i'm overcompensating lol. more eddie is coming tho i swear<3 so in my head r is like alt though descriptions don't really go past anything vague.
‎⋆⭒˚。⋆
steve wasn’t really ever that choosy with his women. he didn’t have to be. 
they’d throw themselves at him, from the start of high school right through to college. by some grace of god, meaning his dad and his endless wallet, he’d made it into the university of chicago. 
partying his way through his studies with a plethora of women and friends who really only saw him as an open wallet. 
that’s where he’d met you. 
you weren’t a regular, that’s for sure. 
your hair dyed, clothes torn purposely and thick, dark rings of black around your eyes. 
he hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off of you all night. watching as you’d ducked outside just after midnight, deciding to follow you, muttering something about a cigarette to tommy without a second thought. 
he’d found you around the empty side of the house smoking and stuck his tongue down your throat. 
with permission, of course. 
he’d seen you in there with the guy with the long hair, steve recognised him as someone he bought weed off occasionally. “he your boyfriend?”
relief washing over him when you’d shook your head no, “i can’t get you a discount if that’s what you’re asking.”
his shoulder had bumped against the hard brick in an attempt to nonchalantly lean against it, “noo.. i was just hoping you were single.” 
your smile grows though steve didn’t pick up on the sarcastic twang about it until after, “is that right?” 
“you don’t believe me?” 
“hmm not really,” stubbing the cigarette out on the side of the house. 
“but you are single, right?” deploying that trademark harrington grin, ever unfailing in his entire career. 
“i am.” 
“so why don’t you wanna make out with me?” reverse psychology, another never faltering technique. 
your eyes had narrowed, “i didn’t say that,” he’d known he was in from then on out, putty in his hands just the way he’d hoped. 
and thus, birthed this. whatever this is. 
-
steve waits rather impatiently for the party to die down enough to sneak out of here and get you into the back of his bmw. he hadn’t drank, swerving tommy’s attempts at getting him to drink with some vague, mumbly excuse. 
your meetings weren’t exactly tasteful, usually entailing some dark corner of the town and the leather of his backseat. 
you don’t speak outside of this, maybe a quick glance if he ever saw you outside of the parties but never anything substantial. 
but you’d gotten wise to his signals, you were usually found outside with that long-haired boy smoking which meant he had also began to get wise. 
steve would drop a cup and glance quickly in your direction or he’d loudly say his goodbyes before slipping out of the door. earning a groan or a roll of the eyes from your friend. 
steve’s grateful though, because he knows you’ll only be a few minutes behind. shuffling down the street to his beemer. 
tonight, you’d taken longer than usual. sighing as you slid into the passenger seat, steve’s gaze immediately falling to your chest, hungry as ever. 
“what’s wrong?” he asks, putting the car into drive before anyone had the opportunity to catch you. 
you shake your head, buckling in as the car speeds off, “it’s nothing,” settling yourself in the seat. 
“didn’t sound like nothing,” he’s not sure why he’s prying so much, you didn’t owe him any explanation. 
“it’s just..” debating whether to divulge, “eddie feels the need to tell me how much he hates you, every single time. it’s boring, you know?” 
oh. 
steve wasn’t quite expecting that. 
sure, he wasn’t the most likeable person ever but hate? 
“right,” he nods, unsure of where to go from here, “well.. i’m sure if he knew me, he’d think differently,” though even steve doesn’t quite believe that himself.
you hum in response, staring out at the disappearing road ahead. 
the car pulls in to it’s usual saturday night spot, overlooking the city on some disused street. quiet and calm but not for long. 
it’s the same foolproof routine every single week, you’ll sit and talk for a minute until one or the other gets fed up and pulls the other into the backseat. 
this week it takes a little longer for either of you to crack. you’re still pissed off by whatever eddie had said and he was desperate to try and break through your hardened exterior. 
he didn’t want to be hated by anyone, let alone your friends. 
perhaps it was fear. scared of eddie revealing the truth about your little rendezvous’ or maybe he really did want to know more about you. he’d been inside of you more than he’d ever asked about your day. 
steve had once thought the only people that had tattoos were freaks and criminals, but he doesn’t suppose you’re either of the two. 
he loves the way they look on your skin, adorning your arms like they were there before you were born. 
“why’d you get that one?” pointing to the flower on your wrist. 
you tut, “d’you wanna talk about my tattoos or d’you wanna have sex?” becoming annoyed with his attempts to close the bridge between you. 
“why not both?” he didn’t know a thing about you besides your name and how hard you liked his palm against your ass. maybe you really were a freak. 
“because you don’t care, not really,” shrugging at him from the passenger seat, “you don’t have to pretend y’know?”
“i’m not pretending,” steve frowns, “i wanna know about your tattoos and i wanna have sex with you, is that crazy?” 
you chuckle, turning in your seat to face him, “a little, yeah. i don’t believe that steve harrington cares about my tattoos at all.” 
fuck, he wishes this was normal, that you were normal and he could just take you out like he would any other girl. 
he doesn’t have a reply, sighing quietly to himself instead. 
your hand reaches over, cupping his chin in your palm and gently tilting it upward til he meets your eye again, “so.. sex?” 
steve nods, blinking rapidly as you shift over into his lap. if you weren’t going to indulge him then the least he could do was give you what you wanted. 
you keep your hand firmly on his chin, locking your lips as your hips move forward, grinding against his jeans, his hands coming to meet your waist. 
frantic in the way he grabs at your skin, needing you closer than his car allowed. 
what had really shocked him most about you, was the fact that your nipples were pierced. he’d never seen it before, not in real life anyway. but now he couldn’t imagine ever having another boob in his mouth that didn’t taste slightly of metal. 
he claws at your shirt, yanking it higher for access to your chest, pulling your bra down enough to reveal your tit, palming at the flesh before locking his lips around the sensitive skin. 
your skirt ends up above your waist, his hands roaming the fleshy area, grinding down against his stiff cock with an insatiable hunger. rutting until you’re moaning into the cramped car, his tongue still swirling around your nipple. 
“c’mon,” instructing him breathlessly, “need you now stevie,” your hands firm on his shoulders, praying he won’t make you wait any longer. 
he nods, letting your breast fall from his lips, gripping your waist to allow himself the space to wiggle his jeans down enough, his boxers following closely. your eyes roll at the sight of his cock springing out, already glistening with pre-cum from your incessant rutting. 
you’re already raring to go, sodden panties held to the side as he lines his tip with your soaked entrance, gazing up at you with wondrous lust. 
“fuck,” whispering harshly when you lower yourself onto him, his fingers leaving heavy marks on your hips. 
you take a moment to adjust, biting down onto your lip as your eyes reopen, meeting his before you begin moving. slow at first, thick thighs enveloping his waist. he wants to gnaw on them, leave purple markings all along the doughy skin. 
steve knows he has a big cock, he’s not stupid. it had been a thing to marvel throughout high school, in locker rooms and after hooking up with whoever. everyone had known. 
it doesn’t seem to phase you, bouncing up and down as your skin slaps together. he’s always found it hot, that two bodies could make such a sexy sound but with you it’s better. 
“that’s it,” you whine, melodically breathing in time with your body bouncing. 
your hand creeps away from his shoulder, hanging loosely around his neck, too scared to place any real pressure until he nods enthusiastically, placing a harsh hand to your ass, a clear cut green flag. 
you practically growl in response, tightening your grip on his neck, the seats of his car squeak and groan underneath your bodies as the car rocks on the wheels. 
keeping one hand on your ass and the other now nestling between your thighs, fingers perched on your soft stomach as his thumb finds your clit. 
“oh fuck,” you whine, enthusiastically moving up and down, squeezing his neck just enough to make his eyes roll back. 
steve tightens his grip on your ass, losing grip of his throat to slam your palm against the foggy window when his hips thrust upward, moving with yours in perfect harmony. 
he wants to swallow you whole, entranced by the sheer pleasure on your face, eyelashes fluttering and your lips parted to allow your melodic mewls to flow freely. 
“oh honey,” he moans, slamming into your dripping cunt. an insatiable urge to stay inside of you forever, “fucking.. shit, you feel so fucking good,” eye contact intensely heavy, dripping in pure unadulterated lust. “d-do that again,” referring to your palm around his neck. 
“you like that? hmm?” leaving steve to hold you upright, enveloping his jugular with a comfortable squeeze. 
no one had ever touched him like that, nor had he ever thought to ask anyone to touch him like that. sex had been a mostly placid affair before he met you, a couple positions if he was feeling crazy but nothing compared to the lewd shit you got up to. 
he can’t speak, his balls slapping against your thighs in a maniacal rhythm, relishing the feel of your cunt dripping down his cock onto his boxers. 
the car is stuffy, suffocating almost. the fluidity of your two bodies moving against each other only makes it worse. your skin sticks to his, chest clammy and slick. steve loves it, the messiness, the sheer animalistic need for one another. 
he grunts into the air, weaving his fingers through your untamed hair, a palm flat to your cheek as he finds your lips in a fumbling haze. 
your fingers leave his neck to trail down his chest, clawing at his shirt, desperately rutting your hips as you chase your orgasm. it all becomes sloppy when you begin to pant into his mouth, barely able to keep up the rhythm. 
“oh god,” whimpering between his parted lips, “fuck,” your thighs begin to shake, trembling uncontrollably as steve continues to thrust upwards, unrelenting though he’s teetering over the edge himself. 
your lips graze against his chin, mewling loudly while you come undone. a trembling mess, relying on his arms to keep your body upright. 
he can’t take anymore, your cunt squeezing and clenching around him, driving him completely insane. there's no way in hell that he could ever possibly imagine having sex with anyone else for the rest of his measly life.
“are you cumming?” you ask, holding onto the back of his clammy neck with a panicked look in your eye. 
steve nods quickly, using the last of his energy to thrust upwards one final time, uncaring of the consequences. or quite honestly not even considering what cumming inside of you could mean.
his hips stutter, the back of his head hitting the headrest as he grunts and groans, filthy words filling the warm car. 
he’s still inside of you when you look down, only allowing him a short moment to gather himself before you frown, “steve,” using your finger to flick his ear. 
“shit,” the threat of a child dawns on him, realising how much he shouldn’t have done that, “i’ll pay for.. whatever you need, fuck- i’m sorry,” keeping a firm hand on your waist, pleading for forgiveness. 
if you could feel what he felt, he thinks you’d understand. 
“you’re so lucky i’m on birth control.. idiot,” climbing off of him to rest on his thighs instead, readjusting your underwear as his release threatens to leak out. 
steve clears his throat, a little embarrassed to have lost all self control over your pussy. he's never been overly enthusiastic about the thought of having children but for a split second there, he had truly contemplated how bad it could be.
clearing the awkward silence with a quiet chuckle, raising his chin to meet your gaze, "sorry."
your glossy lips pout, gaze scanning his face before you hum, "you're forgiven."
-
tommy had dragged him out despite it being a tuesday night, knowing full well he’d be skipping his 9am class tomorrow. he had been really trying to make more of an effort with school lately.
you'd made a passing comment, something you'd definitely have forgotten by now but steve hadn't quite been able to shake it.
your dad's money won't last forever, you know?
it wasn't incorrect by any means, he just hadn't expected the wake up call to come from you.
obviously tommy hadn't got the memo, egging him on to ditch the books to get plastered.
the bar is packed for a weekday evening although steve recognises no one, mostly older folk with a lot of tattoos, eyeing steve’s nervous exterior. 
“get me a beer, i need a piss,” tommy hollers into his ear before disappearing off to the bathroom. ever the charming gentleman. 
steve goes stiff, wondering if he’d seen a ghost. 
you’d materialised behind the bar, looking disinterested in whatever the man in front was jabbering about. 
why are you here? 
he’s never asked what you do for work, never felt the need to. though he wishes he’d asked now. there’s no chance he can collect himself enough to speak to you. 
what if you gave it all away? what if tommy saw? oh fuck. 
steve’s never had a panic attack before but he feels mighty close now. 
he wipes his palms indiscreetly down his jeans, attempting to slow his breathing before he reaches the bar. why did tommy have to be such a jackass? they could’ve been at home tonight. he wouldn’t be having a fucking heart attack if they were. 
the person before him clears off, leaving a space for him to quietly shuffle into. you turn around, eyes locking with his but only letting the corner of your mouth twitch a tiny inch. 
your tongue clicks against your teeth, “what can i get ya?” playing along just as he’d hoped. 
“two.. uh, two uhm, coors.. please,” dropping his gaze as he pleads with god to let the world swallow him up.  
clearing your throat before getting the bottles from the fridge, sliding them across the bar with a sigh, “didn’t think this would be your scene to be honest,” stifling your laugh as the other patrons eye his sweater and too-tight jeans. 
steve gets it. 
the bar was crawling with people with piercings, ripped clothes and an overall disdain for the status quo. 
tommy fit in, he was loud and sweary just as they were but steve, he stuck out like a sore thumb. 
“it’s not.. really, tommy said it was cool.. i dunno,” he hated the fumbling mess you made him, he couldn’t ever understand it. 
you stare back at the disaster you’d created, running your tongue along your top teeth before tapping the bar, “seven bucks, please,” palm outstretched beside him. 
he shoves a ten into your hand, “keep the change,” grabbing the bottles before elbowing his way back to tommy. 
“what the hell took you so long?” 
“there was a line, dumbass,” rolling his eyes, passing off one of the bottles to his friend. 
“don’t lie,” tommy’s elbow jabs steve harshly in the ribs, “i saw you talking to that girl,” steve freezes, terrified of what tommy might say next.  “she’s hot,” tommy leers, “y’know in like a freak sorta way,” laughing obnoxiously loud for such a small bar. “you at least get her number?”
he just glares back, unsure of whether tommy knows more than he’s letting on or just being his usual ignorant self. 
“i could fuck the freak outta’ her, trust me,” the drunk continues, only serving to anger steve further. he didn’t want anyone to speak about you like that, much less tommy fucking hagan. 
“don’t say shit like that,” steve scolds, like he’s some petulant child who needs punishment. 
“what? like you care,” blowing raspberries with his mouth, “c’mon, loads of weird broads in here i can help instead,” walking off into the crowd with a mission. 
he glances over at you smiling with some customer, his stomach churning with unfathomable jealousy. he had no right to feel that way, in fact, he probably deserved it.
-
tommy’s in one of his unbearable moods again, bouncing around the party, antagonising any and every one who even attempts to get him to stop. 
steve doesn’t really care, nervously eyeing the door, confused by your absence. you hadn’t told him you were coming, but then you also hadn’t told him that you weren’t coming. 
had he done something wrong? the last time you’d spoken was when he and tommy had crashed your shift, only muttering a few nervous words about beer. he’s pathetic. you’d made him pathetic. 
an arm latches around his shoulder harshly, almost knocking the drink from his hand, “stop watching the door, she’s not coming,” tommy slurs, laughing cruelly in his face. 
“what?” steve’s body tenses, trying to shake off the drunkard. 
“your little girlfriend,” clarifying exactly what steve had thought he was saying. tommy clocks steve’s gawping mouth, his heightened breaths, “what?” chuckling loudly, “you think i don’t know? everyone fucking knows dude, you can cut the shit.”
he wriggles free from his grasp, “the fuck are you talking about?” it’s not as if playing dumb would help him now but he’d at least give it a shot. 
“fuck off man,” tommy shoves him backwards, “that’s why you’re acting like a little pussy at the moment,” spitting in his face, belligerent and arrogant, “steve fucks the weird girl and now he pretends to give a fuck about feelings and shit,” drawing the attention of the entire party. 
if it really had been that obvious, they’d all already know about it anyway. 
“you’re an asshole, you know that right?” steve fumes, shoving tommy back into the counter before grabbing the container of vodka behind, walking off into the party with his head held high. 
people eye him as he goes, sure they all knew. they’d all heard what tommy was screaming about, hell, they’d probably seen the two of you sneaking about for months. 
why did he care so? why didn’t he care more? 
-
steve’s hopeless, completely and utterly tragic. 
deserting the party after an hour of his ‘friends’ dancing around him and girls completely dodging his advances. 
he didn’t want them, not really. he just needed to fill a you shaped hole. 
the only place his intoxicated brain can conjure up to go is your house. his feet carrying him out of the door and across the large campus without much thought to it. 
it’s only when he reaches the small row of houses that he realises where he is. looking up at the quaint house he’d dropped you off at tens of times. 
he can’t go in, can’t go back to the party either. 
stuck between a rock and a hard place because no matter what, he’d come off pretty badly. 
“what’re you doing?” a girl he’s never seen before speaks from the shadows, a certain look of disgust on her features. 
steve stops his aimless pacing, realising just how weird he looked. how could he ever begin to explain himself? 
the girl i have sex with sometimes lives here and i’m here because my best friend found out about it and i don’t really know how to feel about that. 
though he opts for something a little easier to digest, “i’m just.. walking.”
the girl narrows her eyes, “i know who you are, steve harrington,” full disgust in her voice, “i don’t know if she’s home,” putting her key into the door. 
of course. the roommate you’d mentioned. robin or something like that. he’s not sure why he hadn’t thought of it. 
“can you.. can you check?” relieved to not have been the one knocking on the door. 
“well duh,” she scowls, opening the door and disappearing into the hall. 
thankfully, she doesn’t reemerge. unsure of how much he could take tonight without bursting into tears. 
you do though, peeking out of the door with a small frown, opening the door wider when you see his frame lingering. 
“steve?” confusion echoing, “what the hell are you doing here?” 
“hey,” steve waves, watching his fingers wiggle and immediately regretting it. the realisation creeping in that he was lurking around your house like a complete weirdo. 
“you’re drunk,” you state plainly, opening the door wider to reveal your heart-adorned pyjama shorts and fuzzy slippers. 
his eyes fall immediately, still desperate to suffocate himself between your thighs. 
“yup,” hiccuping through the dark. 
you sigh, you do that a lot when you’re talking to him, “jesus christ.. come in,” ushering him inside. 
he stumbles through the door, hazy eyes looking at your house, the decorations that littered the place. 
it’s so.. you. 
different and spunky, a guitar leant against the couch, banners and posters and pictures of you and your friends beaming plaster the walls. he can’t help but think about how much his mother would detest it all. wouldn’t fit her cookie-cutter world view, neither would you, really. 
is that why he liked you?
some repressed act of defiance against his mother? 
no, no he really doesn’t think so. 
“okay,” your hand finds his back, “upstairs now,” flashing a look to robin that he can’t distinguish between confusion and maybe slight fear. 
steve lets you guide him, appreciating the gentle hand, only wishing it hadn’t taken half a quart of vodka to get him here into your room. 
he flops onto the bed with a sigh, still too intoxicated to feel any real shame yet though he’s sure it’ll inevitably sneak in at some point. 
“what’re you doing?” pity addling your voice as you come to sit on the bed, desperate to not let his eyes trail down to your legs. 
“i wanted to see you,” murmuring his words, “you didn’t come tonight.. i missed you,” letting the spirit speak for him. 
you stare at him for a second, figuring out how to approach his fragile state, “didn’t think you’d want me there after the bar.” 
“why wouldn’t i?” 
you scoff, “you couldn’t even look me in the eye,” reinvigorating that twinge of guilt in his chest, “you were terrified of tommy finding out you even knew me,” you must really pity him. letting him into your house after he’d acted like you simply didn’t exist just a few weeks ago. 
“tommy knows anyway.. none of it even mattered,” steve sighs, rubbing his temple as the headache kicks in. 
“i know, steve,” offering little remorse. your eyes roll back, sighing softly, “he came by the bar a few days ago, he was drunk, trying to.. it doesn’t matter. i know he knows, i don’t really care,” shrugging as if you couldn’t understand why he did. 
maybe rather selfishly steve had assumed that you were also somewhat ashamed of this arrangement. it hadn’t occurred to him that only he felt so pathetically guilty and oddly protective over your relationship. 
he wanted you to himself and at the same time wanted absolutely no one to know about it. 
“but i care,” it sounding even worse out loud than it did in his head. 
yet he means it. he just can’t really understand why. 
your eyes lower, shifting uncomfortably on your bed as your smile grows sadder, “you don’t want anyone to know that you fuck the freak, right?” a glum, melancholic tone to your words that makes his heart ache. 
“yes- no, i don’t really know,” shoulders slumping, giving up all hope of ever understanding the things he was feeling. 
your lips purse, the mattress dipping as you stand, unwilling to give any more energy to the conversation. “why don’t you sleep it off here?” still refusing to re-meet his eye, “i’ll take the couch, alright? you just.. get some sleep,” slinking off to the door before he can protest. 
“wai-,” but you’re gone.  
left on his own in your room. 
he can’t help but think that you should be here too, the first time he’d gathered enough courage to come to your house and he’d pissed you off that badly, you had to sleep on the couch. 
all he wants is for this to be normal. to take you out like he did the other girls, show you off to his friends and be proud of it too. 
steve wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want that, but he wanted to at least tell you.
screw tommy hagan and anyone else that had anything to say about it. 
he stumbles out of your bedroom, trying to remember which way to go to reach the steep stairs. god he hopes robin isn't down there with you. they'd interacted for no more than five minutes and yet he could already sense her general distaste for him.
the floorboards creak under his weight, dragging his uncoordinated feet down until he hits the floor with a thud, missing the last few steps completely.
your head pokes out of the closed door, with what he hopes is worry on your face. "what the fuck? are you okay?" rushing over to his crumpled body. this would all be highly entertaining if he weren't in the midst of an identity crisis.
"i'm good, i'm okay," clinging onto your arm. rather than standing to get to your level, he decides that dragging you down onto the floor with him is the best way to confess. ignoring your shrieks of complaint as you land harshly on his lap.
"what are you doing?" unable to hold back the maniacal cackle any longer.
"i'm trying to tell you something," steve mumbles, pressing his forehead against yours in hopes the words would somehow telepathically absorb through your skin.
they don't, obviously. because that's not how this works.
"i think that i," he hiccups,, sliding his hand down your arm to grasp your hand, "i think i really, really like you," stammering through his half-assed confession. on further thought, he probably should've waited until morning before deciding to unleash this unto you. "and i think that i've been an asshole to you," swallowing the gargantuan lump in his throat, "and i want to- only if you want to," earnestly gazing into your eyes, his thumb tracing your soft knuckle.
"want to what, steve?"
"i want to be with you, like.. dating or- or your boyfriend," hoping that now you’d understand his stammering, incoherent words.
your face displays something he can’t place, twisting the knife in his chest completely to only ease up when your lips twitch, “i think you’re drunk,” brushing off his confession.
steve wants to scream, he’d laid himself bare for you and while he probably didn’t deserve to call you his girlfriend, he also didn’t deserve to never get the chance to ask.
“i am,” admitting to his sins, “but i mean it,” nodding his head against yours, putting your hand to his chest, “i want it, i want you.”
your lips purse, he hates it when you do that. still unable to get through that mysterious shell you’re clinging onto, leaving him to try and guess what you’re thinking. most girls were fairly obvious in the way they treated steve. either fawning over him or they’d argue until he’d hate it and ghost them.
“even if everyone knows?” slowly opening up to the idea of you two. or at least he hopes so.
“especially if everyone knows.”
it’s a stark contrast from the embarrassingly nervous wreck he was at the bar, too terrified to even look you in the eye. he’d decided that it just wasn’t him. you deserved better and steve couldn’t stand to watch anyone other than himself give you that.
“..okay,” you blink, lashes brushing against his skin as they flutter, “but i’m gonna ask you again in the morning,” narrowing your eyes, ever the voice of caution.
steve just grins, morning couldn’t come soon enough if that was all it’d take to get you to believe him.
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husbandhoshi · 1 year ago
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title: eat. play. love.
pairing: seungcheol x f!reader
wc: 19.4k
summary: being one of new york's top food critics comes with a lot of perks: free dinners, nice awards, and a linkedin profile your parents could be proud of. that doesn't stop you from wanting a lofty promotion to editor, and the only person standing in your way is choi seungcheol. just one problem: his romance column has half of new york under his grimy little thumb. that, and you hate him.
in which your love language is food. seungcheol doesn't have one.
notes: romcom with mild angst, coworkers!au, slow burn enemies to lovers, playboy!cheol, suggestive (one moment in particular) + mentions of sex (otherwise sfw), swearing, lots of alcohol, also you will probably get hungry reading this. extra special thanks a million times over to my fav person @wuahae for bearing with me through literally all 20k words of this. i love you:')
It's underneath a layer of paper-thin egg yolk pasta where you think you see god.
Spoon meets whipped ricotta, white truffle, sage oil. A sip of 1979 cabernet, punishing and oaky. Rinse and repeat.
None of these words are in the Bible, yet you are having nothing short of a religious experience.
"Well, this seems like good news for the place," Jeonghan says. "Wine's tasty. Three stars?"
At this point, you're fairly sure Jeonghan has tuned the explanation of your elaborate rating process out (he's there for the wine, anyway), so instead you top him up and help yourself to a generous portion of his pappardelle.
"Four, then?" He leans forward on his elbows. "Or critic's choice?"
Candied lemon, pecorino, garlic. Derivative, but it's a good bite.
"You're distracting me." You point your fork at him. "You're like 80% alcohol, anyway. Bad opinions."
"Sue me," he laughs. "I would take a client here, is all I'm saying."
You pass on the opportunity to bring up that Jeonghan once brought a client to a Bubba Gump because he was craving coconut shrimp. But Jeonghan isn't a food critic—he's a business analyst and your best friend from college, back when all you cared about was Friday's house party and writing pizza joint reviews for the university paper.
It's a good arrangement. You appreciate his company, and he's never one to turn down a free meal. The both of you keep a small circle—such is the price of discernment.
There aren't many things that can come between you and a delicious meal. But, you have notifications turned on for just three things (all work-related) and you both watch the linen tablecloth light up under your face-down phone in true horror-movie fashion.
Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. "Popular on a Saturday night," he jokes. "Copy on your ass again?"
"Nothing's in production," you reply, letting the evil claws of your terrible work-life balance encircle you once again as you open your email.
URGENT: LIFESTYLE EDITOR TRANSITIONAL PLANS, it reads. It's from Wonwoo, your editor in chief, who has sent it with priority, as if the caps lock wasn't scary enough.
"So Joshua decided to quit. Just like you said," Jeonghan says, but it's like he's speaking to you through a wet paper bag because it takes every working brain cell of yours to read the email.
As you may know, Joshua has decided to step down from his position as our current Lifestyle editor.
Not a surprise, given his wife is having a kid. You had called it six months ago over the paper's Christmas dinner at Eleven Madison Park, when Joshua spent half of it outside on a phone call and the other half browsing the Baby Gap website.
I have decided to hire internally to fill his position. I and upper management believe you would be a good fit for the position. Please plan for a meeting 9 AM Monday to discuss transitional plans.
It's that part that you have to read over three times. And then you read it over a fourth, just for good measure.
"You're starting to scare me." Jeonghan puts down his glass, which is something akin to a baby separating from their bottle.
Sometimes you need a dictionary to understand Wonwoo, but the email seems clear as day to you. Good fit. Transitional plans. Suddenly you wish Jeonghan hadn't had so much of the wine because you're in desperate need of a drink.
"I-I think…I think I'm getting promoted."
How funny to think your lifelong dream would be realized over a 40 dollar plate of pasta. You want to cry and hug the maître d' and eat the entire complimentary bread basket.
"It's about time." The glass finds his relieved hand again. "You breathe journalism. I'm afraid one day you'll text me in AP style."
You read over all of it again, trying to memorialize the words that undoubtedly will launch your wonderful and long career in the upper echelons of media.
Looking forward to talking with the two of you.
Wait—two?
Then the proverbial cherry on top, the laughably convenient other thing your eyes had glazed over before.
CC: Choi Seungcheol.
"Choi Seungcheol?!"
Nothing is ever that easy and it then dawns on you that this is a competition type thing because never in the history of the printing press has there been two editors for a section.
Jeonghan stares at you blankly. It would be funny if you didn't feel like you were being double deep-fried like terrible fair food, all the thrill and elation of the moment boiled down to lead in your chest.
"I—he," you stammer.
Jeonghan mouths check to the poor waiter assigned to watch your table. God bless him.
"Words," he tells you. "You went to journalism school."
You take a syrupy breath that sits in your lungs unhappily. Your food is cold. This is a disaster.
"Well, actually, I'm not getting promoted."
Jeonghan's eyes soften, just enough without making you pity yourself more.
"There's this guy," you start. "He's the love and relationships columnist, the one I complain about all the time." Jeonghan makes a small ahh sound, your predicament finally dawning on him. "I guess we're both under consideration for the position. I didn't-I didn't even think of him. I—"
You slump into your seat, the arancini your only solace despite your complaint that the breading was too salty earlier.
"So? I bet you're a way better fit than him. It'll be a shoe-in. Easy decision."
Jeonghan's confidence in you makes you want to cry.
The problem is that Seungcheol is the human equivalent of Cosmopolitan Magazine. You can't recall the last time he walked into the office with a fully buttoned up shirt. You also can't recall the last time one of his advice columns wasn't in the end of quarter recap for popularity.
It's not in you to explain this debacle to Jeonghan. This whole situation is so cosmically awful that all you can do is ask for dessert in a takeout box and watch Jeonghan calculate tip without a calculator because that's all you learn in business school.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Jeonghan asks when you're both in the Uber.
"Yeah." You have a headache. You also can't decide whether or not to give the restaurant three or four stars, and you always know by the time you're out the door. "It's fine."
The tiramisu is cold in your lap. Jeonghan squeezes your shoulder. You refresh your email.
Choi Seungcheol's name stares back at you.
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The meeting goes exactly how you would expect.
Wonwoo, in his lanky taupe sweater vest, says that Joshua is leaving and you and Seungcheol are standing toe-to-toe in the space left behind.
"I'm sure you two are well-acquainted," he begins.
You stifle a laugh, but Seungcheol's cat-like grimace says more than enough. Neither of you have the heart to tell Wonwoo that your very first impression of Seungcheol was that he tried to hit on you at the new recruit party, or that Joshua probably deserves reparations for how often he mediated fights between the two of you during weekly meetings. (Maybe not reparations, but at least an Edible Arrangements.)
For better or for worse, Wonwoo's genius does not extend to social cues, and he follows with a blithe, "Therefore, I hope you two will treat this as a friendly competition between equals."
You almost laugh again, but this time it's because you need the promotion more than you need air, and you cannot allow some Buzzfeed reject with the face of a model take that from you. And you don't doubt Seungcheol wants it as bad as you do, considering how often you've seen him try to schmooze his way up the ranks.
He may have become a columnist by rubbing elbows with the right people, but you'll never forget the late nights you spent sifting through hours of interview transcripts, on the grueling climb up the totem pole to earn your position.
"We'll evaluate an article of your own submission at the end of the month before we decide. Best of luck."
At least Wonwoo knows to quit while he's ahead—he closes the meeting with a succinct nod before returning to his seemingly infinite unread emails.
"Exciting," Seungcheol says. He claps his hands together, Rolex gaudy under the office lights, and sends a nauseating smile your way. "May the best writer win."
He offers you a handshake. You think he has real life cooties, so instead you close your planner and shoot him a very pointed look.
"There's only one writer here. Thrilled to read your next thinkpiece on how men should spend more time on Tinder and not therapy."
That earns you a chuckle from Wonwoo, but Seungcheol is not easily fazed.
Instead he rushes to hold the door open for you on your way out, likely his favorite piece of advice to give his poor, indolent readers.
"I'll book a table for us at Avra next month," Seungcheol gloats. "Consider it a gift from your future boss."
"They don't have a kids menu, you know."
"No problem. I'll have my darling food critic order for me." He places a wicked hand over his polyester covered heart. "Ending misogyny in one fell swoop, huh?"
You wait for the door to Wonwoo's office to close before looking at him right in his wet, cow eyes with the most malice you can possibly muster. You feel it collect in your bones, enough to feel like you can physically hack it up and hurl it at him.
"You have no clue what you're talking about, huh? Do you actually attract women with that attitude? Or are you just a really good liar?"
You are so close to him, you could kiss him if you wanted—luckily for the both of you, you would rather die a thousand fiery, terrible deaths, and then die all over again. Instead, you watch his pout unravel into a grin from hell, and he leans in closer, the scent of Old Spice and break room coffee heavy on him. This morning's matcha latte churns in your stomach, and you wonder if you should have gotten oatmilk instead of dairy.
Up close, he's worse. His hair reminds you of the sad, tired swoop of the washed-up lead of a daytime soap opera. And he has no pores, which is deeply upsetting because he looks like the type to wash his face with Palmolive and a prayer.
"You know what?"
His breath hits your lips and your skin prickles like you have an allergy.
"What?"
"You just gave me the winning idea for my next column." No way, you think. Mind games. Classy. "See you at dinner, sweetheart. Looking forward to it."
The pet name makes you seethe. There are a million things you want to say, all colorful and none workplace appropriate.
"I'd rather starve."
"Better not let Wonwoo hear you with that bad attitude. I'm sure management loves a team player." His cheshire grin somehow gets bigger, all white teeth and pink lip. "Try to smile a little, huh? Have fun writing about snails and black garlic and cwa-ssants, or whatever it is that you do."
you watch all the laminated syllables of croissant go through his paper shredder smile and you think you black out.
He spins on his heel triumphantly, almost bowling over Minghao from Arts & Entertainment, who is undoubtedly wondering if you did, in fact, kiss.
Seungcheol laughs as he walks away, linebacker shoulders rippling under his one size too small shirt.
The metal-red knot of anger swells in your gut as you watch his perfect silhouette and his tiny little waist disappear into the staff room. Then you realize what you've been looking at and let yourself get mad all over again.
He does have a nice ass, though. You'll give him that.
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"You'll never guess what I have."
"Is it better than this lox bagel?" You answer, mouth unattractively full.
Seungkwan's answer is the sound of a straw hitting the bottom of an empty cup and the grating jostle of ice. Phone calls with him are like ASMR because he's always doing a million things at once, but you wouldn't have it any other way.
"Infinitely," he finally says, after procuring the last milliliter of what's likely his second coffee of the day. "Besides, we all know pesto is way better."
"Wrong, but okay," you reply. "What is it?"
"You're not gonna thank me for being the best friend in the world? Me, an editor, keeping nepotism alive for you? A mere columnist?"
"Senior columnist," you laugh between bites. "You need me. Who else would you text during content meetings?"
"Whatever." His eye roll is audible. "I guess I won't tell you."
He shakes his cup again, all ice and no patience.
"Fine! I owe you. My career and my life."
"And a seat at Momofuku."
"And that."
You take another greedy bite, letting the everything on an everything bagel get all over your chin. You love dressing up and going to restaurants that cost more than both of your kidneys, but there's something sacred about eating a $10 bagel behind the shield of your computer screen at a cafe where no one knows you.
There's someone laughing really loudly somewhere, and if you weren't otherwise preoccupied, you would look for the offender and give them a hard glare. You don't know what could possibly be that funny at 9 AM, but, then again, you never were a morning person.
"So, I have intel. About Seungcheol." You can picture the glint in Seungkwan's eyes, glittery and caramel. Unfortunately, the news that it's related to your worst enemy makes you sit up a little straighter. "At today's content meeting, Joshua said that he's working on some kind of challenge to go on as many dates as possible. He might make it a series."
"How tacky," you say, but the information clanks around in your brain like shoes in a washing machine. The indulgent, clickbaity headline just falls together perfectly—I Went On 50 First Dates So You Don't Have To. Exactly the kind of article your mom sees on Facebook and sends to you.
"You have to admit it's a decent idea. Not as good as yours, but it'll get engagement," is Seungkwan's reply, but you can barely hear it over the swell of another sitcom-esque laugh, this time, from a woman. "The other editors are very invested in this whole thing, by the way. Of course, I'm betting on you."
You're about to very openly stress about people gambling on your success when your eyes wander to the backside of the Sports Illustrated model getting napkins at the counter. Not bad at all, you think. It may be too early for the comedy club, but appreciating the male figure has no schedule.
And then he turns around, and you're able to see past the curly hair, muscle tee, beauty pageant smile—it's none other than Choi Seungcheol, fully outfitted with the audacity to trespass on your bagel place. You have never been more disgusted by your heterosexuality.
You hide behind your computer screen.
"Helloooo?" comes Seungkwan on the line. "Are you making out with your breakfast or something?"
"Seungkwan, I gotta go," you hiss. Your eyes follow Seungcheol as he makes his way back to his table. "There's a…situation."
You watch him sit across from a beautiful girl in a sundress and Prada sunglasses, and her lips tumble into a brilliant red smile.
It would be really fucking funny if he was on a date, you think, but then you see him make the kind of eyes you last saw in the deepest, stickiest recesses of a frat house on thirsty Thursday. Then you realize he is on a date, that he's been on a date, and it's his laugh that is equally annoying as it is loud.
Seungkwan works hard, but the devil always works harder.
"Ok, talk to you later. Bye!" You can hear the beginning of one of Seungkwan's protests, but you hang up before he's able to properly complain. Maybe you'll have to do a little better than Momofuku—that's a problem for later.
Over the rim of your laptop, you catch glimpses of their conversation. You notice Seungcheol talks a lot with his hands, and you wonder if that's another one of his tips or if that's just him. Him and those big clown hands, illustrating a story that you're unfortunately too far away to hear.
But you can hear her laugh again, and you try to guess what he's talking about. His childhood dog. The insurmountable burden of being prom king and captain of the football team. This little not-competition and this little not-rivalry between the two of you. How the PB&J bagel is the best thing on the menu (it's not, but you see the berry compote all over his fingers and you know that's the hill he's dying on).
No matter how you spin it, it's a hard pill to swallow. Choi Seungcheol is good at what he does, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
You hear the careening lilt of what seems to be Seungcheol whining, and there's a brief flash of something like endearment in your stomach before the repulsion sets in.
Nothing you can do to stop him, huh?
The question, sinister and burning, writhes in your brain as you chew on the ice from your coffee and stare at a blank Word document, the cursor blinking like a heartbeat.
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Beware the wrath of a woman scorned.
It's number 3 on Seungcheol's article titled Revenge and Other Stories. Unsurprisingly, he must not practice what he preaches, because you currently have all nine circles of Dante's Inferno inside you right now.
Play nice, Jeonghan had told you. Looks better to upper management.
And you did, until one of your photo requests mysteriously got deleted. Then Joshua told you to cut 500 words from this week's column because Seungcheol's just "happened" to be a little longer this time.
The knockout punch was yesterday when Seungcheol told you he was using your January critic's choice pick to take Wonwoo out for a friendly dinner, his treat. If you had known, you would've called ahead and told them to poison the hamachi. (No matter. Any foodie worth their salt knows Thursday is the worst day for sushi).
Now you sit on the C train, dressed to the nines, because you have a date with destiny at Nai. Sometimes destiny is a big pan of paella for one, but this time, it's Seungcheol and his next victim on date night.
Getting him there was so easy, it was almost criminal. An obnoxiously loud elevator phone call in which you name dropped the executive chef, a friend of yours, at least four times. Seungkwan very strategically asking you if a press pass can bypass reservations for a booked-out restaurant. Gossip in the break room with the intentional use of "intimate," "sangria drunk," and "affordable."
Affordable was a lie, but you're learning quickly that a hungry fish will take any bait. And seeing Seungcheol's face is never a joy, but you're not opposed to watching him open the menu for the first time.
"I have a killer Spanish accent," Seungcheol told you on the way out today.
Hook, line, and sinker.
The subway car rumbles under you. You're almost in East Village. You don't normally spend your Friday nights crashing dates—you actually don't really spend them outside your apartment at all, but Seungcheol is the exception to the rule and you're making a lot of them for him. A small price to pay for the glory of dethroning Casanova.
The plan is to "accidentally" run into Seungcheol and his Friday night exploit, and then to casually, non-bitterly mention a, that she is about to become a statistic, b, that his idea of chivalry was birthed in the basement of the Alpha Omega house, and c, that you're surprised he's still single because you always happen to catch him on dates. Something like that.
This is admittedly the best you could come up with. Like you said, you don't really crash dates. You don't really sabotage people either, but Seungcheol declared war the minute his Folgers breath hit your face outside Wonwoo's office.
Then you think of all the ways things can absolutely backfire. Seungcheol's warm, carefree whirl of laughter when he explains you're office rivals, or worse, lies and says you're nothing but a jilted, jealous ex. Or this whole thing could simply be immortalized in his winning article as a jaunty sentence about making the most out of a bad situation, yada yada yada.
You picture watching another girl, spellbound, as you dig into your table-for-one paella.
In your mind's eye, she laughs, floaty like his date at the bagel place, and for a moment you understand what it might feel like to want Choi Seungcheol.
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Friday night at Nai is red and glittering and heady with saffron.
You remember when you first ate here, two weekends after the soft open, early in your career at the paper. After a three hour conversation over wine and octopus with the owner, you wrote the restaurant a glowing review that, to your surprise, helped land it several ritzy awards. Now the dining room is never empty, but they always find space for you.
That was the first time you learned that all of this work meant something. Yeah, you loved an excuse to stuff your face and get paid for it, but what was even better was the chance to tell the stories of a working father's hand-pulled noodles, the drunk, midnight origins of a tasting menu, the caramel-greedy fingers of a well-loved childhood.
This is the long way of explaining how you bypass the two hour standby wait time, and how you walk in on a first name basis with the manager.
You're fully prepared to see Seungcheol mid-churro, perhaps four pick-up lines deep and wondering if he still has a condom in his wallet.
That's why you almost miss him on your way to your table. His is empty, other than a lonely, watered down martini on the rocks and two menus.
"Seungcheol?"
He looks up at you, and something like genuine surprise melts into relief, then intrigue.
"Look at who crawled out of her dungeon," he chuckles. "You clean up good."
Whatever pity you may have felt for him vaporizes instantly. Although, when he beckons for you to sit in the empty seat across from him, you do take the bait—you're not about to pass up a good opportunity to humble your least formidable foe.
"Refreshing to see that our love guru isn't above dining solo," you reply. "I have to admit, your acting is impressive. What an elaborate ruse to get another poor, single diner to pity you enough to sit with you."
"It worked, didn't it?" He takes a sip of his cocktail, which is almost a brand new drink because it's 90% water, 10% martini by now.
"I'm no expert, but pretending to get stood up is not a tip I would give the general public."
"Who said I was pretending?"
No fucking way. Your jaw drops. It's too unreal to believe. Even if the slutty cut of Seungcheol's shirt wasn't persuasive enough, surely the prospect of enjoying a free Michelin star dinner would warrant an appearance, even for you. Breaking News: New York's Hottest Bachelor Ghosted at Top Restaurant. If only that were as wonderful to the average reader as it is to you.
Because waiters are trained to enter conversations at the best possible time, you're forced to pause and order a wine for the table and some tapas. (No paella for one? Seungcheol asks, and you try to reconcile your annoyance with the fact that one, he's read your review of this place, and two, that he looks mildly turned on that you can pronounce all the menu items. You tell the waiter to add a paella.)
"You got stood up?" You cross your arms over your chest. "You may think I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb."
"You have no idea how flattering your reaction is." He laughs, and the air shifts around him, drawing you further into his eyes, inky under the lowlight. "I understand you think I'm irresistible, but, alas, not everyone shares your opinion."
"I never said that."
You hate how easy it is for him to push your buttons. You hate how in control he is, and you hate how he's looking at you like you're on the menu.
The waiter returns with the wine, and you decide you're feeling equally as terrible.
"Truly, you can't be that irresistible. After all this time writing about relationships, you would think you'd actually be in one."
Touché, you think. Normally, it would be too low a blow, even for you, except that his column-related debauchery is one of the four thrilling conversation topics he subjects you to at the office. And who are you to bury the lede?
"Coaches don't play," Seungcheol says, leaning back and popping the martini olive in his mouth offensively, as if he's not at a restaurant that takes months to get a good table at.
"Bullshit." You lean forward and chase his gaze. He doesn't shy away; rather, he meets you with an appraising raise of an eyebrow. "Coaches should at least know how to throw the ball."
"What do you think we're doing right now?"
"Oh, please." Your wrist twitches as you fight the urge to down your entire glass of merlot in a single gulp. You picture the title of his next article: Top 10 Ways To Get A Woman Drunk. And then the oh so charming punchline: 1. Be so insufferable she cannot last a conversation without her real life partner, wine.
"See? I've already got you laughing." He notices the generous sip missing from your glass and tops you up.
"No, you do not get to make this about me."
Somehow, you are laughing, but you chalk it up to the spiteful little man in your brain writing headlines for Seungcheol's column.
How To Antagonize Your Date In 5 Easy Steps.
"Need I remind you I'm only here because your actual date stood you up? Too soon?"
"I prefer you anyway," he answers, his expression half-challenge, half-something else that you don't really want to think about.
"Crazy, because I'd rather be literally anywhere else."
Signs You Are In A Hostage Situation, Not A Date.
"You should stick to food. You're a bad liar." He cocks his head to the empty table next to him. "It's still open if you want it."
"I'm no quitter."
Maybe The Male Gaze Isn't So Bad: A Thinkpiece.
Definitely not that one.
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"So, before I try anything," Seungcheol says, leaning across the table. "Teach me how to be a food critic."
"Why, so you can steal my job?"
"You can keep it," he laughs. "I'm gonna be your boss, not your replacement."
You notice he'll linger on the tail end of his sentences, betting on the response you haven't even come up with yet. He's picking apart the furrow of your brow, the marrow of your brain. It's like one drawn out interview, but you suppose that's all dating really is. Maybe your journalism degree wasn't a waste of money after all.
You won't give him the satisfaction of a fight (plus, you don't want the food to get cold), so you change the subject.
"Well, I take pictures first," you say, waving away his overeager fork.
"Genius. They really scammed you out of your Pulitzer, huh?"
You ignore him in lieu of repositioning the chorizo. Unfortunately, Seungcheol is unrelenting. You hear the snap of his phone camera, clearly taking a photo of you and not the meal—clever, but you won't bite.
"Wanna be in my story? I can tag you."
In your periphery hovers his wry, wanting smile.
"Sure. So the world can know I'm a charity worker too."
He whistles, clutching his heart. If he weren't so annoying, you would find him a little cute. Just a little. You blame the kitchen for whatever aphrodisiac is in the food today.
"Live update: date with food critic going about as well as an episode of Hell's Kitchen."
He says this leaning forward, elbows on the table, so close to you that your knees might touch. You tense at the thought.
"Any date of mine would be on better behavior."
"So you're admitting this is a date?"
"This," you wave your hand over the table. "This is not a date. This is me regretting ever pitying you."
"Well, pity looks good on you."
And there it is again, that accursed, perfect smile. This time, it works, and you fight the losing battle of the wine flush undoubtedly all over your face. It bothers you that there's a little part of you that enjoys this, but that's a confession you plan on taking to the grave.
"Enjoy it while it lasts, because you're not getting any again."
"Fine. I'm still waiting for your grand secret," he says, now biting the tines of his fork like an untrained dog. No rest for the weary, you suppose. "Food is food. Prove me wrong."
Despite the betrayal of your basal human instincts, you're determined to make this a bad encounter. Maybe you hadn't anticipated the full force of Seungcheol's overgrown fratboy persona, but you came here for a reason and you do plan to see it through.
"There is no secret." You split apart an empanada, the guts steaming and fragrant. "You eat."
"Like this?" He crams an entire piece in his mouth, and you watch him recoil and huff the heat out. "Mmm, 's pretty good, though."
Your eyes almost roll back far enough to see the wrinkles of your brain. Of course he wouldn't get it, but you don't know what you were expecting from a guy who thinks Hot Pockets are fine dining.
You put on your most pretentious food critic face. "Eating is about respect. Storytelling. He's retelling the first time someone made him this dish. The ingredients—they're words on a page. An autobiography." Your hand finds your chest and you sigh, a final touch to your Oscar winning melodrama that would certainly annoy anyone with even half a brain.
"Huh. Poetic," he says. He's still fanning his (very full) mouth, but he chews a little more slowly. "I'm respecting. I'm taking it in."
You don't know if he's actually doing any of that, but, when he takes his next bite he asks about what's in it (tomato, raisin, egg) and if someone really made the chef an empanada when he was younger (yes, on the flour-printed counter, every Sunday morning).
You press on. It shouldn't take much to bore him, but with every question, food-related factoid, and snide comment you have, he matches you with genuine curiosity. Either he's an excellent actor or he's secretly culinary school-bound, because you can't actually imagine anyone putting up with any of that, nonetheless I like dick jokes and football Choi Seungcheol.
You spend the rest of the evening like this, spoon to heart to cherry mouth. The wine is abundant, and Seungcheol spends more time listening than talking, which he admits is a first for him.
"You really know a lot about food," he says, likely fighting the urge to use his finger to get the last of the chocolate sauce off the churro plate. "I like that."
It's a cheap compliment in a game of low blows, but it sits warm and content in your chest. You have to force yourself back to the night you met him, when he was all cognac and one-liners and he gave you his spare hotel room key. A good reminder of his true nature, you think, despite the fact that he just listened to you talk about all the different grains of rice, ad nauseum.
"It's my job," is your reply, adequately distant for your liking.
"Fair. You gonna ask me about mine?"
"What more is there to know?" You hold up the check. "You're paying, right? Chivalry and all that?"
You're waiting for him to mention the company card, the only one allocated to your section that Seungcheol couldn't possibly have because it's sitting snug in your purse. The one you'll say you conveniently forgot so you get to see a grown man squirm at paying the bill.
"Already did. Gave the host my card when I got here. You're holding the customer copy." His chuckle disappears under the lip of his wine glass. "Bet you were excited to use the company card, huh?"
If shame were a physical object, you feel like your own personal Atlas. Your only option is to stare at the wasteland of empty plates before you and wonder how deep Seungcheol's pockets really are.
"Hardly. More excited that I burned a hole in your wallet." You click your tongue, out of options on how to ruin Seungcheol's night. You would spill wine on him but there's none left. "Anyway, I'm heading out."
"Running away?"
"Bored," you lie.
He calls you a taxi, and you walk out together, night heavy with the rhinestone glare of Friday night traffic.
"I actually had a nice time tonight," Seungcheol says, emphasis on the actually.
"Unfortunate."
"How do you think I feel?"
The taxi pulls to the curb, and he sighs, weighty with exaggerated relief. You can't even take it seriously because he's looking right at you and badly failing to push down the smile at the corners of his mouth.
It's only now that you notice his eyes are really brown, like he's from a cartoon or something. Worse, you'd daresay they're nice, less menacing, when they're tempered by a good meal and semi-public humiliation.
"Text me when you get back to your villain lair."
"If I were a real villain, you would have a lot more to worry about."
Seungcheol opens the cab door for you, and you catch a whiff of the cologne he undoubtedly smeared on in the toothpaste-streaked mirror of his five by five studio bathroom. Pine, leather, and citrus, which is the most pedestrian combination of smells to exist and yet you doubt it hasn't done him any favors.
"I'm terrified. Shaking." You clamber into the backseat, and he smiles at you again, as if you've forgotten what all his other ones looked like. "By the way—"
You have half a mind to shut the door in his face, but you can't find it within you—maybe it's the wine, or perhaps pure defeat. Probably the former.
"This job. It's—" He clicks his tongue and looks at the tops of his leather shoes. He's actually thinking, and you don't like it. "Never mind. See you Monday."
And then the words are gone. He shuts the cab door, and they're left in a plume of exhaust and Seungcheol's tiny waving figure in the rearview mirror.
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"So you're telling me you went on a date with your worst enemy."
It's 8 AM, and Jeonghan isn't pulling punches. Even through the phone, you can see his lazy grin, the pen he's flipping in his hand, the green ribbon of the Dow Jones on his desktop.
The newsroom is refreshingly near empty, except for Joshua, who hovers around the water cooler like a fly on the wall, if flies wore Armani ties and cigarette jeans.
"It wasn't a date, and I wanted to ruin it so he would have nothing to write about."
"No one goes on a date to ruin it. You could have just left."
"Clearly you haven't seen How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days."
"Are you serious." Jeonghan laughs, crackly and bright. "Care to tell me how that movie ends?"
"Except he isn't Matthew Mcconaughey. He says spaghetti like pah-scetti and doesn't use Oxford commas."
Mid-laugh, you endure another beat of extended eye contact with your editor until he beckons you over. He'd likely been waiting for the perfect time to interrupt the conversation he was so subtly eavesdropping on—oh, how you love a newsroom with an "open floor plan" to "facilitate communication." Sometimes you think the reason Joshua's stuck around this long is because reporters can't stay away from drama, especially if they're not the ones reporting it.
"I gotta go," you tell Jeonghan, whose version of a goodbye is a triumphant cackle.
You find Joshua putzing around, plastic water cup incriminatingly full.
"I take it you had an enjoyable weekend?" he asks, eyes sequined with all the secrets they hold.
"Yup. Just working on that Dining Through The Years article." Not entirely a lie—you are hedging your bets on this story, one where you revisit the restaurants you wrote about when you first got your start at the paper (Nai included, although admittedly yesterday's food was the least of your concerns). "You needed me?"
"Glad to see New York's finest chefs are well-versed in Kate Hudson's filmography," he says, grinning something beastly. If he weren't your boss, you'd knock that little water cup clean out of his hand. "Anyway, if your interview is over, I need you to go on a field trip."
"Field trip?"
Surely you're better than a task for the interns. You wonder if they're off fighting their own demons, seeing as you missed the circus in the elevator this morning, the usual juggle of hazelnut lattes and lemon poppyseed muffins for the higher-ups.
"Wonwoo needs you to help pick out catering for the corporate event later next week." Joshua tips his head back at Wonwoo's glass-plated office, where you see him redoing his tie in the reflection of his computer monitor. "My guess is that Yerim is going to be there, and he wants to make a good impression. Like an 'I consulted a food expert' impression."
Classic gossip queen Hong Joshua, always with the unnecessary but incredibly cogent commentary on office politics. You think you're actually going to miss the bastard.
"Flattered," you remark dryly. "Catering from where?"
"That's the thing. It's from this Thai place like two hours out from the city."
Two hours: code for an all day endeavor. He wasn't kidding when he said field trip.
You graciously resist the urge to groan out loud. No one told you taking the high road is one big slog through the mud, but here you are. You tell yourself this will help your campaign to be editor—the stinky, dirt-smeared silver lining.
"Before you ask—yes, I know you cannot take the subway there." You blink at him, wondering why this all feels like the set-up to a terrible joke. "Luckily, as you probably know, Seungcheol drives here every day and has offered to help."
Ah. There it is. You look for the blinking applause sign hanging above your head and the chorus of riotous Seungcheols making up your own personal laugh track.
"Only back to the office, though—" Joshua adds, as if that provides you any solace. "There's a one-way bus going up there at noon."
"N-not both ways?" you croak.
"Something about funds," he replies, shrugging. "Hey, don't shoot the messenger."
"You're not the one I'm thinking of shooting."
"Who knows? Maybe he is Matthew McConaughey." And when your glare turns sharp as the edge of a santoku knife, he holds his hands up like he's getting arrested. "I'm just saying. As your friend, not your editor."
Whatever.
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You have to admit, Wonwoo does have impeccable taste in Thai food.
Three noodle dishes, two curries, and the best mango sticky rice you've ever had: that's what it took for you to finally say "not all men." Certainly not Wonwoo, who's in deep enough to send his goons cross-state for a girl he's tried to woo for almost a whole year now.
A tamarind sunset blankets the countryside in milk and honey. You're sitting on a bench, ridiculously full with leftovers to spare, waiting for your chauffeur from hell.
Two years and you still don't know what car Seungcheol drives. Your last memory of it is it being flashy, impractical, and loud, much like him.
You know this, and yet you are still surprised when a gnat of a BMW rips into the curb in front of you. The passenger window crawls down, and Seungcheol has the gall to whistle at you.
For someone so predictable, he sure does manage to find new ways to piss you off. Unfortunately, on brand— according to him, Consistency Is Key (number 2 on Keeping the Spark Alive, August 2022 issue). You've done your reading.
"You're welcome," is the first thing Seungcheol says to you after cranking down the volume of the radio and watching you fumble with the seatbelt.
"You really didn't have to." You look at the array of gas station snacks bubbling out of the cupholders—Sour Patch Kids, a Big Gulp, and Flamin’ Hot Fritos. You didn't even know they sold Sour Patch Kids to full grown adults.
Still, you do feel a little bad. You can count on one hand the amount of people you would do this for and still have one or two cheese-dusted fingers left.
"But, thank you."
"Joshua made me," he says, and what happened this morning starts to make a lot more sense. "Plus, I was a little jealous. I would kill for a day frolicking in the sun, eating delicious food, far, far away from the big city. Not trapped like me in the newsroom, exhausted, toiling away on my magnum opus."
The sigh that crawls from his chapped lips practically shakes the car.
"I'm retracting my thank you."
"I'm devastated. Really."
You choose to watch the strip of shitty New York highway unravel through the greasy passenger window. No point in picking a fight when you're in a leather quilted jail cell for the foreseeable future.
It's at the thirty minute mark where Seungcheol casts the first stone of terrible, stilted small talk.
"Why'd you get sent all the way out here anyway?"
The red taillight flush of rush hour floods the car, an unpleasant reminder of the real sunset left far behind you.
"Thought you knew it was Wonwoo."
"Yeah, but why?"
Why does it matter? Is your first thought, but you realize he's attempting to actually have a genuine conversation with you, which you suppose is better than him flinging around another rude remark. Either that, or he's falling asleep, and you'd rather not have the last moments of your life be in Seungcheol's chick magnet car.
"Joshua thinks it's because he wants to impress Yerim at the corporate meeting this week. I guess she likes Thai."
Traffic is slow enough for him to turn to look at you, really look at you.
"Come on, he can't like her that much."
"Yes, he can." you try to read his expression, neon-glossy. "This isn't even that much effort."
"Nah," he shrugs. "There's gotta be some kind of ulterior motive. Maybe he wants to move into corporate."
"Hot take for a romantic." You frown. "Not everything people do is a career move, you know."
You omit the unlike you that sits heavy in the back of your throat, although, his cavalier approach to relationships is starting to make a little more sense. You wonder if this whole thing—the dates, the watch, the Invisalign smiles—is just a long, drawn-out joke to him.
"Seems like a lot of effort to go through for an office crush." His gaze drifts back to the road. "The extravagant birthday present. Always having her favorite flowers in the office. That one cringe voicemail we all heard him re-record ten times. No one likes anyone that much. Come on. Her dad is the CEO of the company."
Suddenly his winning smile doesn't seem so triumphant. It almost feels like a betrayal, but you don't know why.
"Maybe he just likes her," you reply. "I dunno. I choose to believe that. I think it's sweet."
"Maybe you're the romantic." The words come out like an accusation; Seungcheol laughs, but all the joy's been sucked out of it.
"Who hurt you?"
"No one did. I'm just being honest."
You would laugh at the irony if it didn't feel like there was a vine wrapped round your throat. Life is funny, but never so funny as to curse New York's favorite romance writer with cynicism and a lying streak.
"Controversial, but I actually want to do nice things for the person I like."
"And when was the last time that happened?" He's deflecting, which is predictably on brand for him. His grin, now playful, is propped up by a pair of frustratingly well-formed dimples.
You can't even find it within you to protest because he's right—you haven't dated in a long time. Joshua stopped asking if you were bringing a plus one to office parties ages ago.
But it's not that you can't—in fact, the last time you did, you think it broke you a little inside. It's certainly not a story Seungcheol's privy to, though. You already feel strange, cut-open, trying to convince him that people are capable of meaningful relationships.
Childishly, there's also a part of you chasing the truth about him because it takes him further and further away from you. So you do what you do best and deflect again. Two can play at that game.
"Not taking criticism from a guy who's dated half of the city and has nothing to show for it."
"I wouldn't say nothing."
He opens his mouth then closes it again, as if he's revising the words on his tongue. Journalist behavior, which you didn't even know he could still exhibit.
Now you're really thinking. Who hurt him, and how? The development that Seungcheol is more than the playboy slime haunting page 3 intrigues you more than you'd care to admit.
Before you can pry, Seungcheol's stomach growls, almost offensively loud.
"Sorry," he says. "Who would've thunk that corn chips aren't a balanced meal?"
You stare at the takeout boxes snug in your lap. There is a cosmic message being sent right now.
Seungcheol's sad, Frito-filled belly. Fresh noodle that won't keep well in the fridge. Tax and tip for a four hour car ride back to the city. Expanding your repertoire of blackmail so that you can claim your rightful helm at the paper.
These are all the reasons you give yourself for what you ask next.
"You in a rush?"
"How could I be—do you see the blinding speed we're driving at?" He laughs at his own incredibly unfunny attempt at a joke. "No, I'm not."
"I may or may not have an actual balanced meal for you."
That’s how you end up in the parking lot of a random 7/11 off the freeway. In any other circumstances, it would be a cruel and unusual punishment, but you've already been whittled down enough to actually care about Seungcheol, even if just a little.
That's what you tell yourself, anyway, as you watch him finish the last of the takeout.
"So I'm bad at food, and you're bad at love. Why the fuck did Wonwoo even think of promoting either of us?" Seungcheol kicks his shoes off and props his feet up on the dashboard. You notice his socks have dogs on them, little linty brown ones, and you feel a little worse about openly bullying him about his fashion taste in front of the entirety of copy staff.
"I may be bad at love, but you're worse. Especially for someone who does it for a living," you retort. "Don't think I forgot our earlier conversation."
You try to read the tiny text on a receipt he's got stashed in the center console, among his graveyard of snack wrappers. (2) CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH…8.78. (1) M MT DEW BAJA BLAST…1.00.
Definitely bad at food, you muse to yourself.
"You think I'm not kicking myself right now? That I have a beautiful girl in my car right now, and all we do is argue?"
Now that—nothing could have prepared you for that.
It gets awfully quiet. The noise of the freeway seems to screech to a fever pitch, all horns and the thrum of the asphalt. You wish anything but John Mayer was playing on the radio.
You will the headlines man in your head to make you laugh. Instead, your brain presses the word beautiful into your neurons and you feel all the heat in your body float to your face, traitorously, dizzyingly. John Mayer croons, your body is a wonderland and your stomach knots into itself over and over again.
"Stop that."
"What?" Seungcheol's head lolls to his shoulder so he can look at you from the corner of his eye. " 's not a big deal. Never been called beautiful?"
A grin plays on his lips, expression dancing on something grim, like he's spoken his final words.
"I'm serious! Stop trying to get me to like you." You huff and cross your arms over your chest, like it'll somehow make you feel more normal. "I'm not some experiment for your column."
"Is it working?"
You don't answer. How can you? There's a yes resting on the roof of your mouth, surely the product of the handful of real, actual moments you've now had with him—far too many for your liking. This whole charade has been a balancing act on the razor edge between rivals and something else, and now you're feeling the sting.
"For the record, I have been called beautiful before."
"And for the record, you're not an experiment for my column. You never were."
There's a relief that pulses through your chest, a breathless, wonderful kind of dizziness. You grab hold of it as soon as it's reared its ugly head. You're flying way too close to the sun, chasing cheap validation from the same guy who ate your lunch out of the fridge last week.
He's no better—he looks like the vulnerability cracked him open a little, and you're the one holding the hammer. It makes for a grubby, unflattering portrait of two emotionally inept people trying to play feelings.
However, much like all other things Seungcheol, any glimpse of something real is gone before you know it. He takes a loud, noisy pull of Diet Coke, and the spell is broken.
"Want any?" And when you shake your head, grateful to swallow the words pressed to your tongue, he says, "Should we wait out traffic here?"
This is an easier yes. You tell yourself you're getting sick of brake lights and reading the license plates on the back of other people's cars. Certainly that makes Seungcheol's gaze, lingering and moonlight-warmed, a little more tolerable.
For once, you don't talk about Wonwoo or your job. You don't talk about love, either.
Maybe this is the reason the next few hours slip through your fingers. Three folded takeout pagodas and a secret—somehow this is all it takes for you to hate Seungcheol just a little less.
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Usually, a good eggs benedict can solve the majority of your problems. Today seems to be the exception. The hollandaise is broken, Jeonghan is already laughing at you, and nothing will ever erase the fact that Seungcheol drove you home last night and now he knows where you live. If you wake up one morning and see a sniper laser pointed at your forehead, you have no one to blame but yourself.
"You look exhausted." An eighth of a buckwheat pancake disappears into Jeonghan's mouth. "You literally eat for a living. There is no reason for them to keep you late."
Jeonghan has a funny way of caring about you, but he's right. You did get home at 2 AM yesterday, but that was on you, not Wonwoo.
"I'm not going to let a corporate slug tell me what is and isn't a real job," you sigh, taking a swig of your half-flat mimosa and reminding yourself to figure out which staff writer gave this place 4 stars in last week's paper.
"Says the girl who needs the company card to afford bottomless brunch," Jeonghan replies.
"At least I'm not a slave to my career."
"What do you call this whole thing with your coworker then, huh? It's all you text me about." The smirk on Jeonghan's face is miserably, tragically righteous, and you can't even be mad about it.
"Seungcheol is my enemy, remember?"
"You sent me a five minute voice memo the other day ranting about how he went on a date with another girl." And just like the little shit he is, he even pulls up your mile-long text history, just to rub it in your face a little harder.
"Am I not allowed to wish for his demise? Since when were you the mature one?"
"I wouldn't call keeping track of his whereabouts wishing for his demise." Jeonghan takes a well-timed bite of your hashbrowns. "Something tells me you're wishing for something a little different."
You almost choke on a blueberry.
"Absolutely not."
You watch Jeonghan power down another mimosa, half-fascinated, half-appalled he would even dream of suggesting something so vile.
The memory of Seungcheol, leant back in the driver’s seat, lowering greasy spools of rice noodles into his mouth, crosses your mind. He had laughed until he cried when he asked you if a pineapple had really fried this rice. That was the kind of man you were dealing with. You can't believe you laughed with him.
"I think it'll be good for you to get back into dating again. Mingyu was, what, three years ago?"
And that's the chocolate chip studded, syrup-covered nail in your coffin. Of course all roads had to lead back to you and your relationship trauma Jeonghan considered unresolved.
You had dated Mingyu when you were younger, softer. It was a love of firsts, of sun-washed mornings and farmer's market Sundays, of raw, black currant midnights and whatever long-winded conversation you had spent all day on.
Mingyu was a chef. His hands, his lips, his eyes—that's how you fell in love with food. Strawberry kisses into fresh pasta into the first time someone had ever cooked for you. What a wonderful, terrible thing to see all your history on a plate, the I could never eat peas, the once I ate mangos till I was sick, the guilty spoon in the vanilla ice cream after a bad day and the dark chocolate you keep in your purse. He remembered that you like your noodles just a little bit overcooked, and you don't even think you told him that.
Food, like some shitty piece of home decor would say in that swirling, curly font, really is some window to the soul. It didn't fully hit you until, one day, you were at the grocery store alone, and somehow you knew exactly what brand of everything Mingyu liked.
You opened a restaurant together after you graduated from college. Then it closed, and you lost Mingyu to Naples or New Orleans or Seoul—somewhere, anywhere to escape the corner of 5th and 40th, the December-pleated memory of his hands in yours and a promise you could never keep.
You're sure you're over it by now, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't look for him in a bowl of his favorite ramyun, the one you could never replicate even though he insisted he just added hot water (Food tastes best when it's a gift, he'd say. You never understood until now.).
Jeonghan doesn't believe you because every time you try explaining this to him, you end up sounding like the most chronically lonely person on planet Earth.
"That is the wrong guy to suggest then," you instead reply, feeling all the food dry up in your mouth.
"I'm running out of options."
"Don't you have a hot coworker or something?"
You shut your eyes, pushing Mingyu back to recall literally any face from one of the many swanky corporate parties Jeonghan bullied you into attending. The only person coming to mind is Lee Chan, and even more than his face, you remember the fat platinum band around his ring finger (Better luck next time, Jeonghan had said, mid-cheese cube).
Worse, amidst all the fuzz, a grainy recollection of Seungcheol's wet cow eyes washes up against your eyelids, and it's not going away this time.
"I thought we were all corporate slugs," Jeonghan replies, enjoying the way you glower at him over your fork. "I was kidding, anyway. Relax."
Your entire body heaves with the sigh that escapes you.
You thank god that Jeonghan is never serious, because otherwise you'd have to consider the fact that he really thought you should date Seungcheol. Jeonghan, who knows the pizza column you, the Mingyu you, and now the you that works late because there's nothing else left to do, really might have thought you should date grifter by day, con artist by night Seungcheol.
The fluorescent glaze of the gas station lights. Seungcheol's hand on the gear stick. His voice, warm and gauzy. It's like there's a flash drive of last night plugged into your head, and you can't take it out.
The stem of the champagne glass finds your hand, and you down the whole thing.
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Monday is uneventful. So is Tuesday, and you wonder what good deed you'd done to deserve such a blessing.
Wednesday, you realize you're just three interviews away from what could possibly be the best article of your life. Unfortunately, two of those won't pick up the phone and the third keeps rescheduling on you.
That's fine—Rome wasn't built in a day, and the same hopefully applies to your future noodle empire.
You're using your lunch break to write an email to number two when you notice Seungcheol hovering around your desk, a plastic straw in his mouth and evil in his eyes.
He's taken to publicly annoying you at work more than usual—Progress, Joshua had told you in the elevator this morning. Towards what? you had asked. He shrugged, letting his crafty, knowing look do all the talking.
"Me, you, and date number two?" is today's opening line. Before you can peel yourself away from your computer and give him a good lashing for whatever the fuck he just said to you, he continues with, "How's that for a follow-up text to my speakeasy date?"
"Lame," you reply, hackles still raised but now re-reading your email for typos.
"Wrong. You were supposed to say incredibly romantic, extremely witty, and unfairly charming." He perches his baseball player ass on the corner of your desk, waiting to be humbled. This is the usual order of things, which has shockingly become more of a familiarity than anything else.
"Do you even have a romantic bone in your body?"
Seungcheol raises an eyebrow. "Just one, but it's the only one that matters."
"Ew. Gross." You wrinkle your nose and attempt to soothe your temper with a sip of the terrible protein shake you got for lunch. "No wonder your column sucks."
"If mine sucks, I'd hate to see what people are saying about yours." And when your reply is a tired, hungry swig of your sad drink, he says, "No lunch today? Even I had something better."
"Lucky you."
The bigger truth is that that the deadline for your article, looming before you, is getting to you more than you'd care to admit. Seungcheol isn't helping, not with his bottomless magic hat of date stories that seems to only grow deeper by the day. Now you're forgetting to pack a lunch, and the highlight of your day has been reduced to punching numbers into a vending machine.
Things are bad, but you'll never say that aloud, especially not to the guy who'll spend the next five years dunking on you if you keep this up.
You stare down the lip of your bottle at the faux-chocolate dregs streaking the bottom.
The month before Mingyu opened his restaurant, you were so preoccupied with making sure everything was just right that you also forgot to eat. One day, leftovers from his work started magically appearing in your fridge. Chow fun (miss you!), salt and pepper shrimp (don't forget to drink water!), a gargantuan vat of hot and sour soup (love you most!).
It was a perfect coincidence until you realized there was no way Chinese takeout was coming out of a very French restaurant, and it was then you learned that love is never really a coincidence.
Now you have no coincidences, mapo tofu, or romance. Just muscle milk and a front row view of the struggling inseam of a man who must shrink his pants in the dryer.
He's peeling a tangerine. Your worst confession to date is that it's easy on the eyes. For once, his hands, always made busy with some scheme, now still over the rind, steady, practiced. Plus, it looks like a marble in his huge hands, which is unfortunately both funny and a little hot.
"Stare any longer, and I'm gonna forget how to peel this."
"Don’t flatter yourself. Just hungry," you half-lie.
Hungry, Stressed, And Delusional—The New Holy Trinity.
It's a catchy headline, but not a great look for you. Never in your life did you think you'd be ogling a man peeling an orange. He even takes all the pith off, and you don't have the heart to tell him that's where all the nutrients are.
"Exactly," he replies. Then he plops the naked, shiny fruit right on your bare desk. "Here. Eat."
You’re so taken aback, all you can do is stare. First at the orange, then at Seungcheol, who suddenly cannot make eye contact with you. Instead, he stacks the peel in his hands, dimpled piece over piece.
"Payback for the, uh, Thai," he says, and although you wouldn't equate a tangerine to James Beard awarded pad kee mao, all you can think of is an lime green sticky note in your fridge and a smile.
A gift. A pithless, wrinkly one.
The idea that Seungcheol was capable of being genuinely nice to anyone, nonetheless, you—probably the most undeserving person of it in the world—makes you feel something close to guilt.
You push through the feeling, instead taking the fruit in your hand and splitting it between your thumbs. The flesh caves so easily, and it's then you remember that food, unlike people, doesn't have to be complicated.
You can feel a better person somewhere inside you, someone easier to care for and with less of a bad attitude. You're not there yet, but there's a dark, satisfying comfort in not being good enough for the indulgence of that kind of intimacy. An arm's length was never too far away for you, except now there's someone sitting on your desk and they gave you lunch. Worst of all, you don't think you mind.
You hold out the half—sticky, guilty fingers and all.
Seungcheol wordlessly accepts it. There's no surprise or confusion—he smiles, you say cheers, and you both take a bite.
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On weekends, the Korean place down the street from your college apartment sold corn dogs until 3 AM. That was when words came easy and love came easier.
It was with sugar all over your nose, eyes pressed to the once forgiving half-moon, where you told Mingyu you would become a writer.
The thing about youth is that it can float anything, no matter how holey, desperate it was. So you sailed through college, that gasping hope wound tight in your fist. Then you started freelancing, just in time for Mingyu’s soft open. You wanted to write, but more importantly, you wanted some way, any way to be useful to the person who had given you so much.
In retrospect, there was no way your crude attempts at actual journalism could ever generate real publicity for him. Not in the heart of New York, where a new restaurant opened every two days and someone wanted to get published every three.
So you eventually sank, and so did Mingyu, leaving you with all this creased, no good love in your chest to shrivel up with nowhere to go.
All of that landed you here. A degree, a dream job, and a laundry list of accolades, but the fruit of that love still hangs heavy and joy-rot on the vine, as you wait for it to be good enough for the taking.
Ironically, it reminded you of cooking. No one ever teaches you when to stop, and now every other joint has dry-aged steak and some version of a three-day demi glacé. But at least demi glacé tastes good—you don't even know what the fuck you're doing some days, and the feeling's never been worse than now, waiting on a call you were supposed to get two days ago.
The phone rings, just in time to distract you from the top button of Seungcheol's fitted shirt, which looks like it's holding on for dear life. He's currently deep in conversation with Mina from design, but every so often, he'll glance your way to see if you're just free enough to be bothered.
The unspoken perils of working late—less people around to pester on Wonwoo's dime.
Mina stuffs her laptop in her bag and checks her watch. Strike three for Seungcheol.
Working Hard Or Hardly Working: A Guide To Office Romances. You're surprised he hasn't written that one yet. Maybe Joshua shot it down.
"Hello?" The dial tone breaks into the warm, risen-bread voice of the woman you know to be the owner of one of your favorite hole-in-the-wall noodle spots. The Friday night after your review was published, there was a line out the door. It honestly felt like a no-brainer to you, and you had no hesitation telling the owner that you were sure her place would become a local mainstay. You watched her crow-footed eyes go moony and you couldn't help but picture the day your yellowed newspaper would be posted up on the wall, framed and prophetic.
You're ready to profusely apologize for not stopping by—truthfully, no bone broth has come close to hers. Instead, she apologizes to you, which you aren't sure is flattering or a sign something terrible has happened.
You hope it's the former, but you should have known that hoping has never been enough.
She tells you that she closed the doors to her restaurant yesterday. It all comes spilling out, one gut punch after the other, the bills and the empty tables and how things just weren't the same the year after your review was published. She thanks you for your time, your writing, and your belief, and then she hangs up.
Not a thing in your body feels capable of moving. All the phone static passes right through you until the week's canned up dread balls up in your throat and some darker-than-black feeling swallows you whole.
The fluorescent ceiling lights sear into you. You think you're going to cry, and that's the last thing you want.
To anyone else, it wouldn't be that serious. Restaurants close all the time, and you know an entry in your silly little column is a far cry from a Hail Mary. But all you can think of is Mingyu’s neon sign on 5th and 40th and the two pairs of hands that had to take it down. You think your fingerprints are still on it, right over the blue shock of the I and the N.
One more dream taking on water, and once again, you're at the sad, cruel center of it.
You try to imagine the gumpaste walls, bumpy and water-stained. Maybe a pale square where your review used to hang.
No, you're definitely going to cry.
Fuck this, fuck work, fuck the article. And fuck Seungcheol, who's packing up his annoying, jingly messenger bag and is the only thing standing between you and an empty office to lose your shit in.
You squeeze your eyes shut and try to remember if you're wearing waterproof mascara today. Unfortunately, the cowbell of Seungcheol's bag sounds like it's catching up to you, and, like it or not, you are two shaky breaths away from breaking down in front of the last person in the world you want to see.
"Final touches on another titillating piece about pineapple on pizza?"
You have no stomach for yelling at him. You can't even look at him. Instead, you bury your head in your hands and tell him to never use the word titillating again.
"A little too soon to play editor, in my humble opinion."
You don't reply. You're trying to scare him off without really scaring him off because god knows you've done that with enough people. Either way, he's calling you a crazy bitch at the next holiday party. You can just hear it.
But you should've known Seungcheol, of all people, doesn't flinch at a little silence. You still feel him hovering behind you, probably wondering if it's the half-full vanilla protein shake on your desk that's turned you sour. Or if you'll really make good on your threat to shank him with the plastic knife you keep in your top drawer.
Just walk away, you think. Go the fuck home.
Seungcheol, who gets paid to play cupid like it's fantasy football, would never understand that bite of the dial tone. Not like that. Half an orange is a hell of a toll to pay for your unfortunate work-related trauma.
You count the seconds till he walks away.
One. Two. Three.
Four is cut short because instead of doing what he should have done and left, he places a hesitant hand at the base of your neck, between your shoulder blades.
"Hey, you ok?"
Easy, noncommittal words, but something in you cracks. You don't know what it is—maybe it's because it's late and you're running on nothing, maybe it's because you can't remember the last time a hand was so warm.
And so, against your better judgment, you lift your streaky, raccoon-eyed face (definitely didn't use waterproof today) from your hands to look at the same eyes you looked at not more than a month ago and swore at.
You're glad you have no idea what you look like, because it's bad enough that all the corners of Seungcheol's face fall.
"Whoa," he breathes.
Now he'll know when to leave me alone, you think, but then that hand slides to your shoulder and his expression becomes impossibly soft and what you thought was confusion, pity even, dips into affection, stinging and raw.
"Listen, I—," he clears his throat nervously. Perhaps he's running through his repertoire of Wikihow phrases to say to a sad person, but you, inexplicably, don't believe that. "I don't know what's going on, but if you, you know, ever needed to talk…" Then he points to himself because that's probably the longest he's gone without attempting to tell a joke.
You're two and a half shaky breaths into this conversation, and the likelihood you will start crying has not changed. If anything, the odds have gotten much worse because the stubbornness of Seungcheol's expression is fooling you into thinking he actually cares. The illusion is comforting—after all the fighting and sabotage and inconveniences, he's still made space for you. That, or he's keeping his enemies close.
Then his thumb rubs over the plane of your collarbone, and all the little walls and hurdles and dams and shields in you drop.
Close friends, closer enemies, and the infinitesimal space between you and Seungcheol.
You'll blame your sorry state of mind for what you're about to do because you can't really cope with any other explanation. That's a tomorrow problem.
Today, you trust Seungcheol. Today, you tell him not everything, but enough.
"Forgive yourself," he says. And before you protest and tell him, through the waves of tears and snot and lightheadedness, that your heart has yet to catch up to the rest of you, he interrupts you before you even start. "I get it. Just try."
You’re all too familiar with his sugar-floss, candy-coated platitudes that make everything seem so simple, but he looks you in the eye, or somewhere even deeper than that, with so much belief, it's contagious.
The words are ripped out from under you. All you can do is what you wanted to do in the first place. So you cry, and when Seungcheol takes you into his arms, at first tentatively and then all at once, you cry even harder.
"Is this ok?" he asks, so quietly, you almost don't hear him.
"Yeah, I-I think so."
You let him hold you, and all the noise and the heat and the static fades into a hum. His chin finds the top of your head and you let him do that too.
Neither of you say anything more. You don't need to.
All that matters is the welcome sound of someone else's heartbeat, a kind hand in your hair, and Seungcheol, with none of the charms and boasts and failed, half-baked insults he hides behind.
Just him, and you decide you like this version best.
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The emotional hangover you wake up with rivals that of every vodka-flavored morning you had when you were in college, plus another two shots.
There is nothing worse than the aftermath of a particularly bad episode of oversharing. There's a reason you don't talk about your personal life at all, but something about Seungcheol makes every single thing claw its way back up your throat.
A need to prove yourself. A tiny, whispering hope that if you give a little, you'll get a little in return. Or your pride, the familiar knife you keep wedged into your side. A million excuses rattle around in your head, but nothing will ever take away the fact that it felt good.
Shields down, heart bleeding—never did you think that's how you would find yourself in a state where you actually liked Seungcheol. It felt good to be taken seriously, to say that all the talk about foie gras and peppercorns and microgreens was just tableside service for a great love and an even greater apology. And you'd like to think somewhere between the tears and the linen of his shirt, you were finally understood.
Just try. The words, sun-warmed stones, float in the hollow of your chest. It felt a little more possible, coming out of Seungcheol's mouth, with that dumb, resolute expression of his.
You don't even know if you would do the same for him. If he came to you, rosy-eyed and breakdown-adjacent, would you drop everything and listen to him? Clearly his problems ran deeper than a pretty girl not calling him back, but you had never really cared to listen.
And that's something you'll give Seungcheol credit for—he puts up with you, with everything, really, albeit with clumsy hands and the mask of reluctance.
You roll onto your side to reach for your phone. There's a text from Jeonghan asking if you're still up for grabbing drinks this evening. (Always). You have your final interview at 2. (Thank god).
And no text from Seungcheol. (Damn.)
Somehow this is disappointing, which makes your day that much worse. Maybe the runny mascara wasn't as flattering as you thought.
8 Totally Normal Texts To Send When You're Overthinking.
Not a good headline for a worse situation. Honestly, you shouldn't care, but now you're here, staring at your phone and undecided on if you even want Monday to come or not.
You'll order one (or three) margaritas tonight. You'll ask Jeonghan about his upcoming trip to Seoul. You'll make your favorite overnight oats and you'll go to sleep and Sunday will pass just the same.
You won't think about Seungcheol's arms around you or his head on top of yours or the way he insisted he would drive you to the subway so you didn't have to walk. You almost brushed against his hand on the gear stick and the nearness made you want to throw up.
But you're not thinking about it. You can't. Not without falling in love just a little.
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"Here. Drink."
You set two cups on the table before sitting face-to-face with Seungcheol, who decided to roll up to a coffee date in a somehow flattering polo and slacks.
But it's not a date—you're just talking. It's a meet-up. Not a hangout, which sounds too familiar, and definitely not a date.
Yesterday did not go as planned. Margarita-buzzed and under Jeonghan's terrible influence, you texted Seungcheol. Just to clear up some stuff, you told yourself. Friday night's like a scab, and you just can't help coming back to it.
"So, you're a coffee connoisseur too, huh?" Seungcheol says, tipping his head to the side.
"Not nearly," you reply. "Just wanted to pay for something for once. I'm pretty sure I owe you at least fifty of these."
"I'll hold you to it." He's doing that thing where it's like he stares past you. It's the most impressive eye contact on the planet, and it's making you nervous.
Then the silence, once welcome, becomes awkward—the air turns stiff, clinging to all the things you haven't said yet.
You play chicken with the idea of being an emotionally intelligent person and just talking about what most certainly is on everyone's mind right now. The cup between your hands is burning your palms. Seungcheol smiles.
"I'm—" The exact moment you start, the words crinkle up on your tongue and all the walls come back up again. It's a terrible, inevitable instinct. "I'm sorry. For Friday."
"For…what?" Seungcheol pauses mid-sip to say this. "Also, this coffee is really good."
Arabica, orange, and honey, you want to say. But you can't deflect this time. Somehow Seungcheol has cornered you into this tiny cafe chair with that disarming grin and an overabundance of patience.
"Everything, I guess. You were just trying to leave."
"No, I wasn't." And he laughs, which makes your stomach fold over trying to figure out what there possibly is to laugh at. "I actually liked getting to know you. You…care a lot. And I didn't expect that."
Seungcheol's sincerity staggers you. You could ask what the hell he just meant by all of that, but you decide to take him for his word. You think you've experienced the most honesty from him in the past three days than you have in the entire span of time you've known him, and it almost feels like a privilege.
"Thanks…?"
"Don’t let it go to your head, though," he adds, as if to erase what he just said. "Can't have you walking around the office with a bigger stick in your ass."
"Poetic." You sigh. Once again, the illusion is shattered. You wonder if his kindness has a time limit. "How's your article coming along?"
"Nice try," he replies. "I'm not that easy."
"You're literally the definition of easy."
"Is that a compliment?" There's that challenge in his eyes again, that same look that he gave you outside Wonwoo's office. "You did ask me out on a date, despite saying that you'd rather eat glass. So I guess either there's a half-eaten plate in your trash or you've finally come to your senses."
"This is not a date. Dream on."
"You're right. This isn't a date." He leans forward on his elbows. "Just like our dinner date wasn't a date."
"It wasn't."
"Of course. If it was, I'd be asking stuff like…Where you're from. But I already know—h, e, double hockey—"
"Chicago."
"Same difference."
Your conversation continues as such.
Not a date, but where'd you go to college? Not a date, but do you have a pet? Not a date, but can I walk you home?
You realize your talk in his car two weeks ago involved everything but your pasts, but you suppose neither of you are the type to unwrap old wounds. Sometimes the bandaid is better on, but, in your case, there's really nothing left to tell.
You divulge that you went to Northwestern for journalism. You have a family tabby, and no, you wouldn't mind being walked home.
You also realize before today, you knew less about Seungcheol than you thought, but there's some give to his secrecy. He went to USC because his parents wanted him to. Played football for half of it until he tore his ACL and got adopted by the sports section of the school paper. He even captained the advice column for three semesters—something he wants to return to, but you're happy to tell him you wouldn't trust his advice as far as you could throw him. (What was your alias? Samuel. Sounds kinda like Seungcheol, huh? You say no. He laughs.)
After circling the same park three times, you reach the doorstep of your apartment building. You cycle through some one-liners to end on a high note, but none of them seem quite right.
It's not a date, but you've noticed Seungcheol keeps glancing at your lips, and it almost seems like one.
It's not a date, but Seungcheol asks some stupid question about if coffee could be considered tea, which you start to answer before you are rudely interrupted.
First, the bump of his nose against yours, then his lips, slow, insistent, dizzying. Your heart jumps all the way to your throat and you think there's so much heat in your cheeks that he can feel it.
It's not a date, but Seungcheol just kissed you and you liked it.
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The next time you see Seungcheol is in the elevator to the newsroom on Monday.
He sticks his dumb, big arm out of the cabin to hold the door open for you, and his smile bruises your overripe heart.
"Hi," he says, sneaking a glance like a guilty child.
"Hi."
The floor indicators flicker like fireflies, one by one. He sidesteps toward you so that your shoulders touch. You watch the 4 crawl to 5. The air in the cabin is sticky, electric.
And as if taking a great big dive, you kiss him, a fleeting, tender thing that you rolled around in your head for a good thirty minutes earlier this morning—and you never thought the fruit of overthinking could be so sweet.
The elevator dings.
Before the doors open to your floor, Seungcheol slams the close button, takes your face in his hands, and kisses you again.
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You have three reasons to get drunk.
1. It's Friday.
2. You finished your article.
3. You and Seungcheol are no longer mortal enemies, but now you don't know what you are.
(The other day, you both worked late, and he ordered takeout to the office. You sat crosslegged on his desk as he tried to explain what a touchdown was and why he was obsessed with the Steelers. Normally a two hour long conversation about football would be a punishable offense, but that night he made you laugh so hard your stomach hurt the next day.)
After Wonwoo's dinner with corporate, he went to the market across the street and picked up a few handles of soju and the fattest bottle of cheap vodka you've ever seen.
You're all getting a raise—you guess the Thai must have worked out well, although Wonwoo must have struck out with Yerim since he's spending his Friday night drinking with you guys instead.
So you get drunk.
Drunk enough to tune out of Jihyo from Sports giving Wonwoo dating advice—riveting, if not for your near double vision—and follow Seungcheol to the staff bathroom.
"Anyone—," you manage. His lips are hot on your neck, and every dizzy neuron in your body seems to be reaching, grasping for him. "Anyone ever tell you that your forearms look really good when you roll up your sleeves?"
"All the time," he replies, and he swallows the laugh right off of your tongue.
"You are so annoying." Your palm finds his heartbeat, and you revel in how it leaps towards your skin every hurried beat. You don't want to think about how many girls came before you, leant back against the bathroom counter just like this, but having a body against yours never felt so good. You guess that's what a three year hiatus will do to you. "Bet you hear that one a lot too, huh?"
"You got that right."
Another kiss, just a nudge of his nose and you're leaning up to him; your lips feel swollen and warm and somehow they still crave the feeling.
"How is it that we still bump noses," you ask, half words, half air. Seungcheol's hands, skin-greedy, skim over the back of your thighs like they're water and find the swell of your ass.
"You make me impatient." Cheshire grin across heart lips and you're toast. "Anyone tell you that you have a great ass?"
"All the time," you squeak out. It's a lie and a half but who cares. His fingers drag under the seam of your underwear and you've never been so thankful you forgot to wear shorts under your dress.
"Need you," he says, lips flush to the skin behind your ear, and your lower half would give out if you weren't propped against the sink.
The idea of Seungcheol on his knees, your thigh hiked over his shoulder, crosses your mind. He'd probably be really good at head, and that makes you dizzier than any ungodly combination of alcohol would. Or would he press you against the mirror, want your skirt pushed to your waist so he could fuck you from behind?
Anticipation tumbles into anxiety into some primordial, horrible shyness because you haven't had sex in years. You feel hot and damp and sweaty and you can't remember if you shaved or not. Plus, you're already seizing in his arms and he hasn't even touched you for real yet.
"H-home," you breathe. "Let's go home."
"Hm?" His hand slows in the dip between your thighs. "You wanna stop? We can stop."
"No, I just…I just thought it would be better if we went home. To…you know."
"Yours or mine?"
"Mine’s closer," you answer after a considerable amount of mental gymnastics trying to figure out if you're both drunk enough to not mind the mess.
You know your apartment and you know your bed and you know where the bathroom is in case you have to pee. There's a box of condoms under the sink. You have an extra toothbrush for him. Less variables to worry about because nothing else has really gone to plan. You watch Seungcheol misbutton the top two buttons on his shirt and all the fondness in your heart feels like a welcome stranger in your body.
How To Ruin The Moment In One Easy Step!
You feel incredibly horny and guilty all at once, but Seungcheol kisses your cheek on the way out and it's like you're able to breathe again.
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It seems that the car ride to your place sucks all the sobriety back into the both of you.
You're lying stomach-down on your bed, Seungcheol against the headboard with his shirt undone. You're in your bra and your still sticky underwear, and somehow, despite being ready to break your three-year spell, you like this much better.
"Imagine if someone needed to piss," Seungcheol groans. "I think we would have gotten fired. Lifestyle would have no editor."
"I honestly think that's why Seungkwan was standing outside for so long."
Upon hearing this, Seungcheol's eyes shoot open. If your phone wasn't charging, you would take a picture. He fell asleep on your shoulder in the car, and now, even with all the affection you can muster, you can only describe his hair as broom-adjacent. Einstein-core. How far you've fallen from grace.
"Don't worry, he won't say anything." And as you watch the color return to his face, you add, "Also, it's not that I didn't want to have sex, I just…" you trail off, hoping he'll get it even though you're making no sense.
"No, it was the right call. I wanna do it when we're both sober."
It smooths your frayed-out nerves knowing that none of this was a performance or a test, just two shy, touch-starved people stumbling in the dark.
"Lemme guess—this is just a typical Friday night for you."
"Flattering but no," Seungcheol replies, grinning something stupid. "Do you always spend this much time wondering what I'm doing?"
"No!" His hands, once busy with scrunching up the fabric of your bedsheets, now find yours, and he runs a careful thumb over your knuckles. You notice he has the care-worn hands of a line chef, or maybe even a baker, which is funny because you don't even think the man knows how to turn on an oven. "I dunno. You just seem so experienced. What about all of those other girls?"
He flips your hand over, tracing the creases of your palm.
"Just dates. Nothing serious."
You want to ask—What about us? Are we serious? But you swallow it all down. You watch Seungcheol's eyes, midnight-weary, fall back upon you, and it feels like he's trusted you with something important.
"Don’t get it twisted, though," he adds, before yawning big and wide without covering his mouth. "I'm a loser, not a virgin. Definitely not."
You bite back a laugh. Killer journalist bio, but that's something to pitch next content meeting.
"Definitely a loser. I think you make me a loser by association."
"Good. So we're both losers. I like that." He smiles at you with so much warmth, it makes your heart physically hurt. Then he clamps down another yawn. "God, I'm exhausted. I think if we fucked in the bathroom, I'd have passed out. Or pulled my back."
"Then sleep," you chide, shucking a pillow at him. "Also take your shirt off. I don't like outside clothes on the bed."
"Say less," Seungcheol says. "I’ll blow your back out another day. Save the date." Between your almost audible gulp and his unfortunately attractive physique, you almost forget the place you're in-between.
Did everyone fit into his arms? Did he lift a hand for just anyone? Two silhouettes in the lamplight—was that how every day with him ended? Or just you, the only other person competing with him for his dream job? The convenient reality scares you.
The thought never seems to cross Seungcheol's mind. His head hits the pillow, and he's out like a light. But not without a not-so-subtle scoot to your side of the bed, near enough that the heat of his skin plays off yours.
You lean into it, liking how your skin buzzes with the closeness.
You're lulled by the sway of Seungcheol's breathing behind you—probably the most quiet he'll ever be. The moonlight oozes into the room; sleep comes over you like water, a slow, gentle wash.
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You can't remember the last time you cooked for two.
You open your fridge, and the hollow insides stare back at you. Rows of condiments and two water bottles. You have finally reached K-drama CEO status.
"Is this the part where I get kicked out?" Seungcheol says, shrugging his shirt back on as he walks out of the bedroom.
"This is the part where I cook breakfast for you."
"Really? You don't have to." He sounds genuinely surprised, which tips your heart a little off-axis.
"I want to," you reply, double checking the fridge as if opening it a second time would repopulate it. "That's what people do when they care about each other."
"Or if they're trying to poison you."
"Will you just let me do something nice for you?" You yank your head out to glare at him, and he looks stung.
"Thanks." He says it after so much pause that you wonder if this is the first time someone has done this for him. You wish you had a better offering, but surely the man with the worst palate in the world could spare his judgment for one meal. "No really, 'cause I am starving."
You let him bask in the rare glory of the unobstructed refrigerator light while you rummage through the pantry for a plan B.
"Holy shit. You live like this?"
"Not always. It's been…a week." All you have is the ramyun Mingyu likes, which feels like a weird, culinary betrayal. But you're hungry, and Seungcheol is eyeing a strange bag in the freezer that you don't even remember putting there. "You good with ramyun?"
"Honestly, I'll eat anything," he whines, gnawing on the ice straight from the freezer drawer.
At least he's self-aware. But he makes all the spaces Mingyu left behind seem a little less empty, and you can't find it in you to be mad at that.
You wait for the water to boil and Seungcheol finds a seat at your tiny dinner table, a misaligned, wobbly product of Mingyu’s inability to read an Ikea manual.
"I'm hoping your week got better?" Seungcheol asks, referring to your capital W week.
You tentatively nod before dropping the noodles in.
"Of course it did—you woke up to me in your bed. Can't get better than that."
"Actually, it's because I finished my article yesterday."
Seungcheol pauses before laughing to himself. "Congrats," he replies, now wiggling the table on its bad leg. "Can't say the same for myself."
you watch the starch-foam wash over the mouth of the pot, precariously close to the edge. You overfilled it, which mildly surprises you until you consider that you're cooking double the food.
There's a stretchy, anxious tumble in your stomach. It's not like you were expecting him to cheer or anything, but it just reminds you that you are, still in fact, competitors. When all of this is said and done, one of you is losing, and from every angle, it seems like quite the death knell for whatever you've got going on now.
It's a pity because you actually kind of like this arrangement. If Seungcheol was in your banged-up flea market chair next Saturday morning, you wouldn't be mad. Maybe you would even make him waffles. From scratch, even.
"What, too many dates to cover?"
He laughs again, somehow to no one in particular. "Something like that."
Past the bruising swell of his smile is the much sharper, more unforgiving edge of an unspoken hurt that you're neither trusted with nor owed, and yet you refuse to drop it. What about me? It feels like you're almost there, wrapped around something bigger, a scoop you can't pull your stubborn teeth out of.
"Is there a reason none of those were serious? Come on."
"What's so wrong with that?" And when you don't say anything, he says, "Trust me, it is never that serious."
His voice ticks up at the end like a teenager trying to play cool and the noodle water boils up around your chopsticks as you try to get your portion cooked through.
You won't—can't—turn to face him. You committed to the line, and now you must see it through, no matter how bad an idea it may be.
"That's not true," you finally squeeze out, finding the right footing for your voice. "It was serious for me. I'm sorry it wasn’t for you."
The table stops rocking.
"I'm glad. Really." He claps his hands together like a cruel punctuation mark, and it's then you remember that the only person as ill-tempered as you happens to be sitting two feet away.
Like an injured animal, your heart wants to cower back into your chest. You knew this was a mistake—this being everything—but an open wound can't help but bleed and your pride can't do without seeing the knife.
"Look, I don't know what your problem is." The pot hisses, astringent and pleading, beneath your fist. "I don't know what happened with your love life, but don't take it out on me."
"You asked."
"Yeah? Well, what is this?" You turn to face him, feeling the air between you tense, pulled like a rubber band. "You can't sit in my kitchen and tell me you don't care about whatever this is."
After all of the terse meetings, elevator spats, and foul-mouthed encounters in the parking lot, you can now recognize the fresh twist of Seungcheol's mouth and the livewire of a temper you've become so familiar with.
"Who said I didn't care? I'm just tired of you trying to lecture me about my life. I—"
"I'm not lecturing you, I just know you can't really believe what you're saying." Every word stumbles out, trembling and doe-legged, barely audible over his attempts to interrupt you. "There's nothing wrong with admitting you were in love with someone. And if you can't, I just feel really fucking sorry for you."
There’s an incredulous look in Seungcheol's eyes. But it's the worse part of you, ruthless and hungry for acceptance, that makes you say, "Maybe the fact that nothing lasts is your fault."
"Oh, really?" Seungcheol's voice, half-laugh with none of the warmth, rips through you. "You're really gonna act like you're better than me? As if you don't write in your pretentious little column every week, just waiting for your ex to read it and decide he wants you back again?"
There’s a red hot flash behind your eyes and everything inside you feels like it breaks at once.
"You know, at least I had someone who cared about me. Can't say the same about your miserable, sorry ass. Now get the fuck out of my apartment."
"Wh—"
he stands up, table croaking underneath his fists, and you realize you've crossed a bridge that can never be uncrossed.
"Get. Out."
It feels like a stitch in you has come undone. The water has long boiled over the pot and there's no joy to be found in watching Seungcheol stumble over his pant legs on the way to the door.
"I didn't want Mingyu. I wanted you."
it's not an apology, nor is it an indictment. You don't know why you say it, and you guess Seungcheol doesn't either. The door slams behind him, and all you're left with is a bloated pot of ramyun you never really wanted anyway.
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Celery. Red wine. Short rib.
If you had one day left on earth, you think you would go grocery shopping. It was like a prayer to you—you could close your eyes and know exactly what aisle had the beef broth, or feel the stone weight of a can of San Marzano tomato paste.
That's one thing you can thank Mingyu for—it's true that you don't love him like you used to, but you refuse to believe that any love worth having is also worth leaving behind.
Fingerling potatoes, the red ones. A Vidalia onion.
You recite your shopping list, slowly, quietly, a rosary.
Baguette is the next item, with a question mark next to it because sometimes your local bakery sells out after 3.
You pass by, expecting to see the shop window cleared out. Instead you see a familiar crown of cowlicked black hair and a horribly well-worn grin that only looks good because it's on Choi Seungcheol's face.
He's paying for a pretty girl's sourdough, and thyme, rosemary gets washed out by a dizzying riptide of heartache.
It was never personal, you tell yourself. Just another date. That's the angle.
You think it hurts a little less, knowing that it all was a business transaction. A long interview.
The thyme is next to the dill. The rosemary is next to the chives, at the end of the shelf.
You watch Seungcheol lean over the tiny cafe table to take a sip of his date's Americano. Did he always laugh like that? Were you really any different?
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Monday feels tilted.
There's the usual gust of cinnamon sugar and cold brew—today's offering from the interns, who have begun to master the art of pressing the elevator buttons with full hands. Wonwoo is wearing his Monday outfit, a wrinkled cream button up under a navy blue sweater vest. Your cubicle is empty, just the way you like it, save for the ass-shaped spot cleared off on the desk edge.
You like days like this, except today you don't and you know exactly why.
"Today's the day," Joshua says, nose buried in a bakery-style muffin, the top pillowing out of the wrapper.
He stares over your shoulder at your article, locked and loaded for submission to copy.
You are not exaggerating when you say you would die for these four thousand words. You ate and cried and argued for them in what you can only describe as the worst literary coliseum of your life, and now their (and your) fate rests in Joshua’s massive Mickey Mouse hands and Wonwoo's bespectacled whimsy.
"Well, don't let me stop you." He laughs and then totters away, sucking a crumb off a finger. Just another Monday.
Your cursor hovers over the SUBMIT button. You've always been a little scared of it—unsurprising, since you're also the type to triple read an email before sending it—but there's a new kind of fear boxed in those little pixels.
Last night, you emptied out your freezer. Stuck on the back wall was a neon green sticky note, behind all the bags. See you when you get home, it said. You laughed and then you cried and then you ripped it up because that's probably what Seungcheol was looking at the morning you chewed him out.
All of that heartache must have been good for something. To say you wasted it on a no-love situationship wouldn't do any of it justice, not when all that's left is most definitely a crude shoutout on Seungcheol's next listicle. If you weren't already getting one earlier, you sure are now.
You wonder what you'll be:
10 Signs She Is Clinically Insane.
It's Not You, It's Them!
Help! My Friend With Benefits Isn't A Friend Or A Benefit!
At least that one is funny, although if it's the winning line, you don't think you can ever show your face in the office again.
The beginning and the end and the muddy in-between. Entrenched in all of it was this article and this job, and you'll be damned if you let your misplaced faith get co-opted by a sweaty-palmed Casanova.
(8:19 AM; the smell of summer and dried-down cologne. A hand on your ribcage, just beneath your heart. Good morning, Seungcheol says, as if emerging from a long, wonderful dream.)
You picture the byline with editor tacked next to your name. To run your finger over the ink spackled serif of a paper hot off the press, as if somehow it would radiate the misery you had to endure.
(11:41 PM; jajangmyeon and a pack of rice crackers. Seungcheol had given you his chopsticks because you dropped yours. The hum of the broken light outside Wonwoo's office sings in the silence of an empty newsroom. Your eyes meet, and you don't look away.)
There's a sinking feeling in your chest. You close your eyes and hit submit.
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Ask Samuel!
It's 6 PM on a Thursday and if you weren't already on your last thread, you are now. The angry red of the Daily Trojan website glares back at you from your phone as you step into the elevator with none other than your editor-in-chief.
You've resorted to reading Seungcheol's old advice columns. Not because you miss him, but because you want to know if he was ever a competent writer capable of talking about something other than how to score on a second date.
That's the only way he's beating you.
(There's also no way you miss him. The thought would make you laugh out loud if you weren't standing next to your boss).
One column became four became ten. After thirteen you concluded Seungcheol must have sustained a head injury some time before starting his job here—you can find no other explanation for how someone so generous and intuitive could've gotten lost in the chaff of articles with more pictures than words.
"Congrats," Wonwoo says, seemingly speaking into the void.
"Pardon?" You close out a particularly riveting query about estranged childhood friends to look up at him.
"Congrats."
"F-for what?" You get that head rush again, the same one you got a month ago at the Italian restaurant with Jeonghan.
"The job. You got the position." Wonwoo clears his throat calmly, as if he's not delivering the most important news of your life. "I wanted to let you know in person before we sent out Monday’s email."
For once, you have no words. In a wonderful instant, they are all zapped out of your brain. You feel hot and clammy and anxious all at once and you half expect to close your eyes and see either god or the flare of a hospital light, waking you up from an impossible coma.
"Holy shit," the primordial ooze inside you says instead. "T-thank you."
"No need."
"What about Seungcheol? Does he know?"
"I haven't told him yet, but he should be aware." Wonwoo pauses. "He didn't submit anything."
"What?!"
There are only so many surprises your body can handle. You feel like you are being held together by a fast-unraveling string on a poorly made sweater. Your stomach is somewhere in your feet and you don't even know where your heart is. Part of you is waiting for the elevator to stop so the entire office can jump out of the walls and laugh at you.
"I too was surprised," Wonwoo says, now checking his smartwatch for messages. "He must have changed his mind. No matter—I'm confident you will be an excellent fit."
The elevator jerks to a stop at the first floor. You feel boneless, like a can of cranberry sauce.
"Forgive me, I have a dinner appointment." Wonwoo ends the conversation the best way he can—with his trademark parentheses smile and a nod of the head—and leaves you in the elevator cabin alone.
All the times you've dreamed of this moment, you're tear-dizzy, joyous, fumbling with your phone to call your parents.
Instead you stand motionless, waiting, emptied.
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To make croissants, you fold a slab of butter into a square of yeasted dough. You roll it out thin and then fold it into itself before leaving it to rest in the fridge. Then you take it out again, roll it, and fold it. You do this until you've forgotten how many times you folded it and you no longer crave croissants.
When you were five, you pressed your nose to the window of your favorite patisserie and decided this is how your mind works.
You've had ample time now to flatten out Saturday morning, to watch all the little layers of doubt and loathing form, and now you're sick of it. It's not often you're star witness to your own unhappiness, but, as if you were called to the stand, you can easily play back the moment you lit the match and then watched everything explode.
You're not sure what either of you were expecting. A playboy and you, who loves so insistently, almost as if out of spite—there is truly no reality in which it makes sense. The fact that you fought over a literal pot of ramyun only proves this.
And now he's saddled you with the final blow. The position of your dreams with none of the glory because he gave up.
He gave up.
None of this should matter to you.
You're standing outside the office, waiting for your ride to your celebratory dinner (this time, on Jeonghan). The little headline man in your brain is silent for once. Instead, you try to enjoy the breeze, honeyed with late June, and not dwell on the horrible twist in your stomach every time you think about your new position. It's been 24 hours since you found out but it is no less raw.
It's then that you catch Seungcheol, creeping out the double doors of the office like some sort of criminal. You're not sure if it's the plod of his Sasquatch feet or that bag you hate so dearly, but you could recognize that walk from anywhere.
His pace quickens when you turn to face him—he's running away. You won't grant him the satisfaction. Not when he's fucked up what little you had left, and then some.
"You're an idiot, Seungcheol."
That does the trick.
"Funny way of saying hi," he responds, bracing himself on the sidewalk as if you're about to hit him.
"Why didn't you submit anything? What the fuck were you thinking?"
"What does it matter to you? You got the position."
"Look, I—" You shut your eyes, feeling the frenetic ice-cream churn of your brain try to put together a million broken up words. "I'm sorry for Saturday. But I never wanted to scare you off from the job. You deserve it as much as I do, and, as much as I hate to say it, I care about you too fucking much to watch you throw away your shot."
Saying the words is like cutting something loose from your chest, a million strings coming undone.
Seungcheol takes a deep, unsteady breath. You watch the crest and fall of his shoulders and the inescapable tar pits he calls eyes get big and shiny.
"No, I—" He pulls himself from your gaze. "I'm sorry. I should have never said that to you. And I should have never treated you like that."
The silence between you ripples, as if after a long rain.
"I was scared. A long time ago, I threw myself into a relationship. I thought we had something really, really good, and then I found out she was also seeing someone else."
Being right never felt so bad. It's even worse that something you would look forward to—the I told you so, the jokes really write themselves—no longer holds any satisfaction, only a sense of loss and a terrible urge to make it right again.
"And it's not right, but I decided that it was a mistake to take chances like that again. And it was fine, fun even, going on all of these casual dates and getting paid for it. Then you just had to mess it up."
"H-how?"
"You were so dead-set on convincing me otherwise. You wouldn't let it go, not with your weird sayings and the way you talked about your ex and when you told me you were making me breakfast. I started believing you, and it really fucking scared me."
There's a sharp pain in your head. It feels like, at once, you were skinned like a fruit. Like the interlude between dream and waking, all the sheets of sleep yanked from your person.
"What…what about the article?" you ask, scrambling. You don't really want to contend with what he just told you. You don't think you can.
"You deserved it more. And you really love what you do. I used to think it was all bullshit, but I was wrong."
You take a hard swallow. The image of Seungcheol, head bowed, a nervous hand on the back of his neck, swims in front of your eyes.
"Whatever. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore," he laughs, mirthless.
"No, wait," you say. "I-I also…never took you seriously, not even when I should've. You know, I read your advice columns. Crazy, I know."
"I do have to say that is one of your more insane claims."
"No, I thought, they were actually, you know…really good." You watch him blink, mouth already twisting up as he fights a smile. "What I'm trying to say is that I think we messed up. In a lot of ways. But I want to be friends again. Or at least not enemies."
Seungcheol takes a long pause before he sticks his hand out.
"Choi Seungcheol. Writer. It's nice to meet you."
Some force, as if you had always been connected, pulls your skin to his. You shake his hand for the very first time, and starting over never felt so good.
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"You're booking Eleven Madison for the office dinner again, right?"
Wonwoo pops his head into your office, his Monday uniform now festive with a holiday tie. Today, it's snowmen with glasses.
"Naturally," you reply. "Unless you have plans on that Friday."
You're referring to last week, when Wonwoo took a call in the middle of a staff meeting and revealed that yes, he would most definitely be available for drinks with Yerim that evening. He ended the meeting thirty short seconds later, and you think you saw him skip to the elevator.
He laughs, deep and caramel. "Not this time. Also—don't forget to review those job applications. Sent them to your email."
Before you can tease him again, he leaves, and you are forced to look at your teeming inbox, the only unfortunate side effect of your new position. But you've never been happier, and a hundred new unread emails never seemed so wonderful. The first time Jeonghan saw you in your new office, you were so giddy he thought you were coming down with something.
You take a hefty sip of today's coffee (ginger, molasses, cinnamon). On the side of the cup, the one you keep facing away from the door, reads SEUNGCHEOL and OAT, in loopy marker letters.
After you shook hands in the parking lot, you agreed to take it slow. You thought bringing everything to a simmer would cure you of your affection, but it wasn't even a month before Seungcheol was back in that same seat in your kitchen, eating the blueberry waffles you promised him.
But if slow meant long phone calls and the nervous twine of your hands after an ice cream date, then you think you like slow. You could do slow for a while.
He's taken to bringing you coffee in the morning. He claims it's your editorial right, but you think he just likes having an excuse to barge into your office. (And close the door behind him. And kiss you. But that's aside the point.)
Plus, Seungcheol's had plenty of legitimate reasons to be in your office. The newest one is the launch of Ask Sunny! , which you think is the best idea he's had since deciding to get you coffee every day. He spent the last few days campaigning to reuse his old alias, but you're pretty sure he was just looking for reasons to argue with you.
"Afternoon, boss."
Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. You always seem to learn the hard way with Seungcheol.
He swaggers in, ear-to-ear smile on his face, before taking a seat at the designated corner of your table.
"I think I like this desk better," he says, folding at the waist so he can lean close to you. Instead of reminding him it's the same desk, you just choose to make space for him, you let him press his nose to yours.
"Friendly reminder we're at work."
"Everyone's at lunch, genius."
He interrupts you with just a touch of his lips, which should be considered no less than a war crime by now.
"You are the worst."
"Not what you said last night. Not even close." He places another wet kiss on your nose before sliding off the table edge to his feet. There's a horrible warmth in his eyes as he watches you very clearly remember what exactly he's referring to. (A wandering hand. A cherry. Dark hair, wound through your fingers). "Anyway, I've got serious problems to solve. Or should I say Sunny? I still think we should have gone with Samuel."
"Executive decision," you tease. "Now if you don't need anything, scram. Out of my office."
"Just wanted to remind you I made reservations for us at Avra today," Seungcheol says, lingering in the doorframe with the shit-eating grin he tends to sport nowadays. "I'll even let you order."
There's no fighting the familiar bloom of laughter in your chest. It boils up, sparkling and citrusy, as you roll your eyes and watch Seungcheol return to his desk no less starry-eyed than how he walked in.
If cooking is a language, then love is the words, and you finally think you're learning to speak them.
You open the email at the top of your inbox: Seungcheol's last draft of the article he never published. You urged him to let you consider it for the next issue, and he finally caved (although you're learning that he really doesn't take much convincing when it comes to you).
Eat, Play, Love: A Guide.
Maybe you'd put it through. Maybe.
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luveline · 5 months ago
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HI!!! so i am obsessed with your reader x coworker james first kiss fic. can we maybe get something about what came after? like how were the interactions the day or week after, how did they behave around each other, did james tell the boys or was he too nervous?
—you and James maintain a facade that Remus sees through
James wheels his chair to be as far from you as possible. He leans back, turns his monitor. Through the gap, he has a perfect window of your face without it being obvious that he’s staring. Well, sort of. 
Stop staring. 
James reads Remus’ slack message in surprise. He glances at you, finds you still snacking on chocolate covered somethings less covertly than you mean to be, and decides to grace his friend with a message back. 
Nope 
James, Remus messages. 
I’m not really staring 
You’re staring. She can definitely tell 
James looks back to you, hoping to prove Remus wrong, but you’re staring straight at him. He has the instinct to look away and the sense not to, charmed into grinning when you squint at him, your mock suspiciousness adorable. 
“James,” Remus says, clearing his throat. 
James pulls his gaze away reluctantly. “What?” 
“Can you answer my email?” 
The email isn’t an email, but another slack message. Are you serious right now? You couldn’t be more obvious if you tried 
James flicks a pen lid at him. “Obvious about what?” he mouths. 
You get up and stretch, tactically failing to meet anyone’s eyes as you pick up your empty glass of water and leave. 
“James, what’s going on?” 
“What ever could you mean, my love?” 
Remus rolls his chair toward. “Don’t flirt with me. I’m serious, what the hell is going on with you? You’re supposed to hate the girl.” 
“Hate is such a strong word.”
“Well, you’re being a bit much no matter what.” 
James bites his cheek in a hurry to straighten up. “You think so?” 
Remus just stares at him.
James has done a fantastic job at keeping your kiss a secret. He doesn’t know how, mind you —you kissed him, you kissed him, you asked if you could and you kissed him like a sweetheart with the softest mouth he’s ever had the fortune to feel pressed against his own. 
Since your kiss, he’s been feeling weirdly poetic. He totally gets all those Carol Ann Duffy poems they made him read at school now. 
One day without telling anybody is impressive, at least to his own standards. “I know what I’m doing,” he says. 
Remus frowns. “I’d love to be informed on what exactly that is.” 
“Certain events have transpired and convinced me that I was quite wrong to have judged our girl so harshly.”
“Certain events?” 
“I’m allowed some mystery,” James says, before smiling so hard it makes him squint and his cheeks apple. He rubs at his face roughly in an attempt to move forward, but he remembers the way your kiss had melded from soft and shy to hungry. Fuck, he loved it. He needs another one. He has no idea how to get it. “Ugh, I’m gonna go get my lunch from the fridge.” 
“Sure you are. Alright, well, I’m gonna find Sirius and maybe he can convince you to start acting normal again.”
James goes to the kitchen first but abandons his charade when you aren’t there. He grabs his lunch, tucking it under his arm as he makes his way through to the break room. You’re thankfully, blissfully, sitting by the open window with a shop-bought salad. 
He nods at the chair across from you. “Can I sit?” 
“Yes.” 
“That’s all you're eating?” he asks. A little tray of salad is hardly enough to keep you going until the end of the day. “I have gyoza chilli noodle soup, it’s amazing.” 
“You’re gonna eat it cold?” you ask. 
He leans forward, elbows on the table, holding your gaze. “No, but I’m busy right now.” He needs time to look you over. Every time he realises how pretty you are is like another beat of his capering pulse. 
“Don’t harass me.” 
“I’m not harassing you.” 
“What would you call this?” You stab a few pieces of lettuce onto your fork. “I can’t have much more for dinner, I just had half a packet of chocolate covered strawberries.” 
“Don’t say that, like some snacks and a salad are more than you’re allowed. Here, I'll warm this up and you can share. You’ll really like it, the gyoza are amazing.” 
“So what, you’re gonna take care of me now?” you ask. You’re teasing, but there’s a slight edge of bitterness to it like you believe what you’re saying. James is swift to set that right, though he stays speaking in tongues with you.
“I’ve been trying to.” James can hear footsteps at the doorway, and besides, you’re right, he’s being too nice. He sucks in an unbothered breath. “Whatever, loser, stick to your sad salad.” 
Your eyes widen. “I don’t want your cold soup, you idiot.” 
Sirius and Remus filter in with one of your coworkers just behind them. “I thought you said he was being weird?” Sirius asks. “He seems pretty normal to me.” 
Remus sighs forlornly, prompting a side hug from his boyfriend as he shepherds him to the table where you and James are sitting.
“He’s always being weird,” you say. 
James kicks your foot gently. You pick through your salad with a poorly concealed smile. 
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bluesidez · 4 months ago
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Gym Rat Miguel Part 11 | chapter on AO3 for easier scrolling
content warning: fluff, some hurt/comfort?? angst??? bittersweet moments???, recreational use of zaza, some nerd talk, 18+ so MDNI, p in v sex (first time 😗)
word count: 10.1k, halfway proofread (don't ask me NOTHING...)
shout out to @hyjionie and @hwasoup for one of the ideas here! 😗 you guys will know it when you see it!
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GymRat!Miguel whose mom was driving him crazy. The flight for New York was at 7 am and somehow she was up running around the house at 2 am.
“Miguel! Get up, we have to go. Now!”
“Ma, no one is even driving on the road right at this hour. There's no traffic."
"Which is why you need to get up and move. You know Gabriel takes forever. Get up!"
GymRat!Miguel who groggily put on his clothes. It was the hoodie you got for him for Christmas with the doodle of the two of you on the front. If he was going to be stuck in the airport for hours, he might as well be comfortable.
GymRat!Miguel who looked made sure that his laptop was loaded with things to do.
He could catch up on shows he knew you watched so that you could have someone to rant to about them. He could listen to that one podcast you mentioned just because you mentioned it. He could read that one manga you were raving about because he was not going to compete with fictional men, and maybe, he could steal ideas from it.
GymRat!Miguel who went to wake up Gabriel before their mom's voice pierced both of their ears again.
He opened the door to see Gabriel staring bug-eyed at his wall while he ate a bowl of cereal.
“Did you go to sleep?” Miguel asked, closing the door and walking closer.
“No,” Gabriel said. “Couldn’t sleep.”
Miguel ran his hand over his hair, curly strands bouncing back, “Promise me you’ll try to sleep on the plane?”
Gabriel took his bowl to his mouth, slurping up the last drops, “Only if the voices let me.”
“Right,” Miguel says then takes his bowl from him. “Maybe you can have a conversation with them right now.”
“And maybe I will!”
GymRat!Miguel who stares at the bags his dad has stuffed into the trunk with awe. 
“Pa, you know we’ll only be there for three days, right?”
George presses against the trunk with a little more force than needed, “You never know what could happen, mijo.”
GymRat!Miguel whose bones shake with exhaustion as he stares out the window on the way to the airport. Maybe it’s due to the lack of sun, but he’s never felt a cold summer night. 
GymRat!Miguel who sighs as his dad argues with the staff over a suitcase that Miguel knew would be too heavy. He’s not even sure what his dad has in there.
GymRat!Miguel who thinks that TSA is having a field day despite his family being one of the few coming in at this hour. 
The man in front of him was taking way too long to pat him down and he got the hint was Miguel scowled at him.
GymRat!Miguel who had about four hours to kill before the plane came, so he decided to walk around the airport with Gabriel and pretend like they were a spoiled set of twins shopping casually in France.
“What do you think about this, Mimi? A little chic, no?” Gabriel held up a Gucci scarf to his green hoodie. 
Miguel stuck his nose up, “No, Bribri, it’s so yesterday.”
“Ugh,” Gabriel put the scarf back like it was on fire, “You’re so right. Thank god you’re here or I’d be so lost!”
GymRat!Miguel who feels like he’s back at home with Gabriel as they try their best to avoid the luxury brand store staff. Every time one would get close, they would giggle and rush out of the store. 
GymRat!Miguel and Gabriel who crash back at their terminal with enough food to feed a family of five. 
“What is all of this?” Conchata asks as Miguel hands her a coffee, a frustrated look on her face.
“Ma, it’s almost the crack of dawn and we’re hungry. Big boys gotta eat,” Gabriel said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
George reached in one of the bags and grabbed a sausage sandwich, “He’s right, Conchata. We can’t survive on two bites.”
Conchata eyed her three boys with her arms crossed, “All of it better be finished and I don’t want to hear one complaint about your stomachs.”
Miguel just snickered. It’s not like she bought the food anyway.
GymRat!Miguel who is watching an older couple meditate at his terminal as the sun begins to rise. 
“Yo,” Gabriel says. “That looks relaxing as hell. I’ma join them.”
GymRat!Miguel who is wheezing as he watches Gabriel plant himself between them to spread his arms and breathe at deep paces.
GymRat!Miguel who is thankful that his parents bought better-than-Economy seats, but that still didn’t stop any of the O’Hara boys from feeling like they were in one of those miniature museums. 
Both his dad and Gabriel were already tall, but Miguel was more than tall with a heavier body to match. If another compartment almost smacks him in the face, he might lose it.
GymRat!Miguel who takes off his headphones when Gabriel grips his arm.
“The voices,” Gabriel whispers. “The voices are here.”
“Are we doing this the whole flight?”
“Miguel, what if they tell me to do something drastic?”
Miguel looked to the window next to Gabriel and then up to the ceiling, “Three hours.”
“Three hours in which my brain could be infiltrated!”
“I’m closing my eyes, Gabri.”
“But-”
“Closing!”
GymRat!Miguel who used the flight to catch up on sleep and listen to the playlist you made for him. You gifted it to him earlier this month and said it would grow more and more. Miguel loved it because it showed that you were thinking about him, daydreaming about him. It also meant that he could connect to you more. 
No sound of crying babies, no smell of the artificial air packed tight, no light from overhead, just you and him in his mind, dancing on clouds. 
His heart felt like it followed the tempo of each song that played, the words and melodies taking over his mind. 
GymRat!Miguel whose mind wanders by the time the second half of the playlist starts. It was sensual and intimate in a way that passed the sticky sweetness of the first half. 
He was thinking about the nights when it was just the two of you and a bed. He could feel your body tangled with his in the sheets and your eyes piercing his skin. He could see you in front of him as the music played, the words glowing on your skin and the harmonies bounding you to him.
GymRat!Miguel who is yanked out of his fantasy of him pressing you up against a wall when his body jerks from the turbulence. 
He opens his eyes to see Gabriel knocked out and not a clue in the world.
GymRat!Miguel who is always reminded how idiotic people can be at the airport. 
Standing in the aisles is not going to make the people in the front move any faster.
GymRat!Miguel who could finally stretch his legs once he exits the terminal.
“If I get on another plane where a kids stares back at me the entire flight again, I’m going to spin my head like an owl,” Gabriel mumbles as he cracks his neck.
GymRat!Miguel who has a time laughing at his dad slowly losing his mind. 
First, he complained because his fabric luggage was lopsided and twisted from its buckled components, extra bag barely hanging on. 
Second, a wheel on his luggage was a few more spins from giving out. Every time the bag would skirt across the shining floors of the airport, George would grunt in frustration and yank it back. Gabriel almost pissed himself leaning onto Miguel from laughing. 
Third, the ride to the hotel almost gave him a heart attack. The cabs in New York were fast and no-nonsense when it came to getting people to their destinations. The cab drivers were also known to bob and weave into lanes like it was nothing. At every switch of a lane, George was mumbling prayers into the air. 
Conchata kept a hand on his shoulder as best as she could from the middle back seat, but George’s grip on the handle was turning white as he tried his best not to yell into the driver’s ear. Gabriel was filming him from the left side, wheezing like it was the funniest thing in the world. 
GymRat!Miguel who dropped his stuff off, took a nap, and used the rest of the afternoon to walk around Times Square. 
“You refused to go to a Broadway show with me but mark my words, you’re going to one with me before the year is over,” Gabriel pointed his finger at Miguel. 
“Unfortunately.”
GymRat!Miguel who watches as Gabriel dance battles with the random people in costumes in Times Square when they try to heckle him. 
At first, Miguel was worried for him trying to navigate such a bustling place, but there are moments like this that show him that his little brother has always been quick on his feet. His little brother was light years ahead of him in so many aspects and he couldn’t be prouder. 
GymRat!Miguel who probably filled his phone with more pictures and videos of Gabriel experiencing New York for the first time than were necessary. 
He couldn’t help it. His baby brother was soaring.
GymRat!Miguel who sends you places that he wants to visit with you. 
Envisioning you in his hoodie or with a fluffy, long scarf and walking down the sidewalk hand-in-hand with you had him excited to see you again. You would shine so brightly under the Christmas lights.
GymRat!Miguel who didn’t get back to the hotel with Gabriel until the evening. His parents both snoring in the room across the hall. 
GymRat!Miguel who still manages to get up early enough to hit the hotel gym before he and his family go tackle Gabriel’s dorm room. 
GymRat!Miguel who feels like the only other lady in the gym is trying her best to follow everything that he does. 
So much room in the tiny cube of a gym that they’re in and she moves to wherever he is after five minutes. 
GymRat!Miguel who is annoyed when she taps him in the middle of his set. He removes one ear of his headphones and tries his best to stop the disgusted look on his face from forming. 
“Hey! Sorry, I was wondering if I could use this machine! I’m kind of in a hurry.”
“After I finish this set,” she jerks back at that. “I’m using it right now.”
“Well, I just thought that-”
“Ma’am.”
“I’m 22! Don’t call me ma’am.”
Miguel’s eyebrows went up. He could hear Gabriel in the center of his mind calling her a “hard 22,” so he just put his headphones back on and continued to work through his set. 
GymRat!Miguel who thinks that interaction ruined the girl’s mood but he really didn’t have the energy to be concerned. 
He had to freshen up for breakfast. 
GymRat!Miguel who feels absolutely cramped when he steps into Gabriel’s dorm. 
“It’s not bad!” Conchata rubs Gabriel’s back as he looks around with his mouth in the shape of a line. “Once we clean it and set up your things, it’ll be just like home.”
Gabriel puts his hands on his hips, “Home doesn’t look like cell block 1.”
“At least the window overlooks the city,” Miguel says. 
The door behind them opens with George poking head inside. 
“Mijo, we need to set some ground rules. Your suitemates have no idea how to organize.”
“Did you go in their rooms?” Gabriel asked in disbelief. 
“It’s not my fault they left the door open!” George puts his hands up. 
GymRat!Miguel who works harder than he did for his own dorm. Every piece of clothing was in its rightful place, every surface was sparkling clean, the bed was made with minimal pillows and a giant RJ churro plushie, and there was an odd-shaped humidifier plugged up on his desk. 
“I’m putting your cleaning supplies in the corner of your closet, so this room should stay clean,” Miguel grumbled as he stuck a mini vacuum against the wall.
“Whatever, mom,” Gabriel replied.
“Gabriel,” Conchata had a hand on her hip and a finger pointed at her son. “Don’t whatever him. He’s right. There’s no excuse for this room to be a mess.”
Miguel and Gabriel stood in shock at Conchata’s quick defense.
“Are we in the twilight zone?” Gabriel asks out the side of his mouth.
“Maybe it’s the air pressure,” Miguel whispers back.
GymRat!Miguel who equates Conchata’s growing softness to the fact that not one, but two of her boys will be leaving the nest. 
The sentiment is sweet, but by the fourth time she just lets him and Gabriel roam the busy streets, he’s internally freaking out. 
It was far different from the woman who pinched their ears when they tried to sneak sweets into the shopping carts or the woman who had her shoe locked and loaded for when one of them did anything to annoy her. 
GymRat!Miguel who stays up late to talk all night with Gabriel about anything and everything.
“Which one of these do you think is better?”
Gabriel reaced into his backpack to unfold two flags, one with Jungkook over the Mexican flag and a Weenie Hut Jr. sign.
“Well, I definitely feel like there’s a clear answer.”
“You’re so right,” Gabriel says and folds up the Spongebob sign. “It’s better to represent.”
Miguel only sighed, “If that’s what you insist, Gabri.”
GymRat!Miguel who hugs Gabriel tight as their parents pack the cab back to the airport.
They’ve dropped Gabriel back at his school and said their goodbyes all morning. Miguel feels like he’s fading away. He bites his lips in order not to cry, but it’s hard when Gabriel's hands grip his hoodie like a lifeline. 
“Knock em’ dead, baby bro.”
Gabriel leans back with a wet laugh, “They won’t see me coming.”
GymRat!Miguel who waves out the window as the cab drives off. Gabriel waves back with both hands and a smile on his face. 
Miguel keeps looking back and Gabriel is still standing there. He wants to tell the cab to turn around.
After the fourth look, Gabriel is no longer looking at the direction the cab went but to a girl who also seems to have said goodbye to her family. He’s talking animatedly, arms moving as fast as the words fly out of his mouth. 
Miguel turns back around and pulls the strings on his hoodie hard, eyes welling up with tears. 
“Ay, pobrecito,” Conchata pulls Miguel into her arms, kissing the top of his covered head. “I know, it’s ok.”
Miguel’s lungs take in chopped breaths, hands never moving from the strings. He doesn’t know how to stop the tears from falling. 
“George, you too?”
To Conchata’s other side, George was looking out of the window, sniffling with a fist covering his mouth. 
“It feels like just yesterday I was teaching him how to kick a ball!”
Miguel blew out some air, “That probably was yesterday. He sucks at soccer. And football. And kickball.”
“How did he ever make the basketball team?” George says, voice riddled with sorrow. 
“His height, pa,” Miguel’s throat was tight again. “I didn’t call him beanstalk for nothing.”
The two of them lean onto Conchata, snot and tears crowding their faces. 
“Lose one baby and I gain two more,” Conchata sighed as she rubbed their backs, barely space in the little cab. 
GymRat!Miguel whose eyes remained puffy and swollen the whole trip back home. 
GymRat!Miguel who had to go back to school as soon as possible. 
He loved his parents, but being in the house without Gabriel took a lot more patience than he was willing to give. 
GymRat!Miguel who doesn’t see you coming while he's looking for you around the Student Center. 
The campus feels a little different since he’s become more familiar with it. Now he’s got shortcuts and pathways down. He knows more places to hide away in and he carries more tips to survive than he did his freshman year. 
A tap on his shoulder has him turning around. He spins, looks down, and his mood immediately lifts. 
You’re standing there with a pretty smile on your face in the midst of the bustling crowd. Miguel bends down to pick you up, arms wrapping around your thighs, mindful of your skirt. You laugh his name out as you cling to his shoulders. 
He kisses your lips, mouth warm and cozy like the sun shining through the window in a cool room. 
“I missed you so much,” he breathes after two heavy pecks. He moved to the corner of your mouth to your nose to your cheek. “‘M happy to see you.”
“I’m happy to see you, too,” you run a hand through his hair and cradle his face, looking into his eyes. “Are you alright?”
Miguel puts you down, knowing your limit for periodic PDA was nearing its end. 
“Better with you here.”
“Really?” You lean into his chin on his chest with hearts in your eyes. 
“Absolutely,” he plants his arms around you. “Been replaying your playlist for me. You want me to be your good boy?”
Your eyes get wider and you bury your face in his chest. 
“Why are you hiding? You should have known I was going to ask about it,” Miguel chuckles as you groan. 
“You’re using it against me.”
“No, I just want to confirm!”
The irritated face you gave him was too much, he had to tease you more. 
“Just say the word.”
“Hmph,” you lean back as Miguel grins. “Well, be a good boy and help me find our friends.”
Miguel let you pull him, smile loopy, “Whatever you say, baby.”
GymRat!Miguel who is glad to see his friends again. Peter, MJ, Jess, and Ben are sitting at one of the high tables and they all greet you both with smiles. 
“The lovebirds are here!” Peter reached to shake Miguel by the shoulders. “Good to see you both alive.”
“Never better,” Miguel replied, holding the seat out for you to sit on. 
“Look at him,” Jess snickered. “His eyes are practically shaped like hearts.”
“It’s ok to look away from her Miguel,” Ben said. “She’s not going to disappear.”
“C’mon guys, leave them alone. Haven’t you ever had someone you’re head over heels about?” MJ asks.
“No,” Ben and Jess say in a monotone voice.
“I’m sure you’ll find someone someday,” Peter quips as he wraps his arm around MJ. “Someone to stare at like they’re the only ones at the table.”
Everyone looked at Miguel talking to you as you tapped on your phone. He would whisper something in your ear and you would push him back with a shy laugh. His hands rubbed on your shoulders and your thighs. 
“Movie night might be insufferable,” Ben sighed.
Jess leaned back, “A girlfriend or boyfriend would suffice. I’m not picky!”
“I am,” Ben says with raised eyebrows. “I need someone to acknowledge my beauty.”
GymRat!Miguel who does in fact become insufferable during movie night. 
Flashing bright colors are painting the white dorm walls, lighting up the room, and the two of you are cuddled together on his bed. It’s way too cramped and Miguel could barely fit on the thing by himself, but somehow, he has you laid in his arms, a blanket covering you both. 
He’s not even sure what movie is playing on the projector because his mind is too focused on you. His hands keep wandering your body under the thick blue fluff. He’s watching you body jump and listening to your breath hitch as he kneads your thighs, your sides, your stomach, your chest. 
He really did miss you and he wanted to take this time to become acquainted with your body again.
But you would kill him if he let his thoughts take over and sink his hands under your clothes. 
So he settled with touching you and kissing your neck occasionally, your mind to preoccupied with the movie before you. 
GymRat!Miguel who insists on a snack run and makes you tag along. 
Does he want snacks? Not really.
Does he use it as an opportunity to make out with you on the outside of his car? Absolutely.
“Mig, mm-” you melt into him as he pries your mouth open. “I thought you said you wanted milkshakes.”
Miguel cages you against the car, pans down to your chest, then back up to your eyes, “My milkshake is right here, though.”
You scoff, hit his chest, and push his arms to walk around to the passenger seat.
GymRat!Miguel who has milkshakes ready for everyone on their way out to their own dorms. He spent way too long playing with you in the privacy of his car.
GymRat!Miguel who by his second day of classes thinks he has the ideal fall semester schedule planned.
He’s still blocking things out on his calendar, but his classes are a bit more spread out this time, which means more time to be with you. 
With your stacked studio classes, he was going to take every opportunity he could to see you. 
GymRat!Miguel who wanted to take up a basic game programming class as an elective. What better way to nerd out than to get insight on how his favorite games worked?
Learning C++ and Python, breaking down the technical side of things, making his own small games through engines; Miguel was beyond excited, to say the least.
He walked into the empty lab, scoping the classroom out for the best seat. The perks of being early. 
GymRat!Miguel who is scrolling through his watch later list while he waits for class to start. Maybe he could finally watch the Let’s Plays he’s been piling up. Maybe character builds would be better. 
“Hare-Hare, is that you?”
Miguel stopped, that nickname something he hadn’t heard in forever. 
He turned to his right with a smile on his face, “Xina?”
“It is you!” 
Miguel stood to hug her, his body rocking from the weight of her, almost knocking him over. 
“It’s been so long,” she breathes out. Her hands slide down his arms. “Have you gotten even bigger?”
Miguel laughed, “Probably.”
Xina’s eyes flitted over his body and back to his face. 
Miguel sat back down, “You look different, too. Is that a tattoo?”
“Y-yeah! You like it?”
It was some computer code in a spiral shape on her arm. It was really different for her. A far cry from the conservative, shy girl who left the South. 
In fact, the outfit she had on was something she would never wear. It looked like something that Lyla or Tempest would throw on. No collared dresses or long socks over stockings, just low-cut skirts and flowy-sleeved tops. 
“It’s pretty cool. Do your parents know you have it?” 
She shuffled the sleeves of her shirt back down, “They weren’t too fond of it, but what can they do now.”
Miguel smiled softly, “Lyla told me you were coming down here. I guess I just didn’t believe it until I saw you. How have you been?”
“I’ve been pretty good. Just trying to readjust. It’s a lot different here.”
Miguel raised his eyebrow, “From China or from up north?”
“Um, from up north. It’s a lot slower.”
“Really?” Miguel watched as she picked at the mountain of bracelets on her arm. “Hopefully not too much slower. I want you to enjoy your time here.”
More people started to fill up the lab, dropping their backpacks and pecking on their phones. 
Miguel rolled his chair closer to Xina, “What happened up there? Is everything ok?”
Her eyes shifted nervously, voice tight, “Lyla didn’t already tell you?”
“She can say a lot of things, but I’d rather hear it from you.”
Her shoulders dropped and whatever thoughts that were clouding her mind disappeared. 
“I’ll-” the professor heads to the front of the class. “I’ll tell you one day.”
Miguel nods, dropping the subject. 
GymRat!Miguel who is really excited about the future of the class after the first initial day. 
The professor seemed to have a lot of knowledge involving the industry, and even if Miguel couldn’t see himself really tapping into the industry, he enjoyed the banter. 
“Class seems like it’s going to be fun,” Xina says as she walks next to him, bag patting against her hip. 
“That’s a sentence I’ve heard no one ever say.” 
“Oh, shut up,” Xina pushes his shoulder and Miguel fakes being knocked over. “This is coming from the man who got excited about encyclopedias being available for checkout.”
“There was good stuff in there! Not my fault that others didn’t catch on.”
GymRat!Miguel who chats with Xina like old times. 
She looked different, but the core of her was still there. Still the sweet, reserved girl that he remembers. 
“Ah,” Xina looks down at her phone. “I gotta go. Me and my roommates are having a house meeting.”
“You got a quad suite?”
“An apartment! You should come over sometime. We’re going to have a little housewarming party soon.”
“Cool, I’ll be there. See you Thursday?”
Xina grinned wide, hands folding together in front of her, “See you Thursday.”
GymRat!Miguel whose time with you during the day was limited to lunch time. Your studios were stacked along with some general ed classes and he hated it. 
“Miguel, stop pouting, I’m here now!”
“That’s until you have to go mix your paints with others and cut floorboards.”
“I’m not mixing paint with others,” you reach to wipe some salad dressing off of his lip. “I’m mixing paints with other paints. And mineral spirits. And turpenoid.”
Miguel slumped down his chair, petulant. 
“Why can’t I just sit next to you and encourage you?” Call you pretty, stare at you, hold you. 
“Because it’s a college course just like any other class. I just can’t just walk into your labs unannounced.”
“If it were one of my lectures, you probably could.”
You left out a soft breath through your nose, “True. Too bad my classes are three hours long, babe.”
Miguel groaned, “I should have switched my bio class to yours.”
“So you and I both could be distracted all day? Not a chance.”
“No,” Miguel held out the vowel. “I wouldn’t get distracted, I swear! We’d sit at the front of the class to ensure it.”
“And somehow, you’d still find a way to distract yourself.”
Miguel puffed and folded his arms.
“How so?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” you shake your cup, seeing if you had any drink left. “Writing me messages on your notes app, spamming emojis, sending naughty pictures in the middle of class.”
“That was one time.”
“One time that my professor almost saw the hairs leading to your-”
“So what you're saying is, you don’t want my chest in your phone?”
“No! I never said that!” 
Miguel smirks and you fall back into your chair with your heart pounding. 
“You’re so mean, I’m going to class early.”
“Baby, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
Miguel held your hand to stop you from leaving the table, pulling you to his side. 
“Let go, I’m going to class.”
“Let me walk you there at least?”
Miguel wrapped his arms around you and moved his head wherever your gaze went. 
“Fine, hurry up.”
GymRat!Miguel who finished his lunch in two bites and reached for your portfolio. 
GymRat!Miguel whose heart swelled as you swung his hand on the walk to class. 
“I think we can still make more time for just us. There’s the weekends, your birthday, fall break, winter break, our anniversary,” you sang as you looked up at him. 
“You excited?”
“To spend time with you? Always.”
Miguel felt his cheeks warm at the simple statement. 
“Are you?”
“If I’m not excited to be with you, you’ll know I’m being kidnapped.”
“Stop,” you giggle. 
“It’s true!”
GymRat!Miguel who lingers in the art building while you wait for class to start. 
“Is there anything in particular that you wanted to do for our anniversary?”
You fan your eyes up, “Hm. I’m not picky. As long as it’s close to school. We can save the bigger trips for the future or holidays.”
So no sporadic trips across the country. He can check that off his list. 
“Your face is telling me that you were thinking of something else.”
“No…”
GymRat!Miguel who after two weeks of class could definitely say that his elective was taking more brain power than his science classes combined. 
It was fun, but god, he didn’t understand the point of his professor insisting that they learn C#. 
“This is so stupid,” Miguel grumbled after the third failed attempt to get his program to run. “I think I’m in hell.”
“With me here? No way,” Xina snickered beside him. 
“Yeah, you’re right. Still doesn’t change the fact that this is a program that is completely useless to not only me but the rest of this course.”
“It literally can’t be that bad”
“Look!”
Miguel showed Xina his code and the lack of progress that it seems like he made. 
“That’s ‘cause your lines are wrong, silly.”
She leaned over him, tapping at his computer. Miguel noticed that her tattoo was on display today despite the cool chills coming in as fall approached. 
“There. That should fix it.”
Miguel ran his program again and was filled with relief when it actually did what it was supposed to do. 
“You’re a lifesaver.” 
“Anytime,” she beamed and fanned absentmindedly. “I’m always here to help. I definitely need your guidance for quantum physics.”
“What do you need that class for?”
“My advisor suggested it, but I’m starting to regret it and I can’t afford to drop it.”
“Tell you what, you help me with coding and I’ll help you with physics. Fair trade?”
“Plenty equal to me.”
GymRat!Miguel who smells Xina’s perfume as she helps him for the third time that class. 
It’s sweet and earthy. It reminds him of the time you fed him ice cream on a campus bench not too long ago. 
“What is that? It smells good.”
“Really?” Xina looks over to Miguel with a smile. She leans back and twirls the black strands of her hair. “You like it?”
“Yeah, it’s nice.”
“Thank you.”
GymRat!Miguel who gets invited to Xina’s apartment-warming party. 
“It’s pretty small, and I’ve only made a few friends here so far, but I would love for you to come.”
“For sure, for sure. Should I bring something?”
“No, just you and your body will suffice.”
GymRat!Miguel who laughs with Xina as they exit the class. 
“I’m just saying that if you have time to make merch for your games immediately after the first patch of it does numbers, then you have enough time to improve it and make other parts faster.”
“Game developers have families to feed, ya know?” Xina states. “They can’t just sit at a screen all day, they need quick money like the rest of us.”
“So you sell plushies instead? Whatever happened to ‘hi, hello’ or ‘this is how progress is going this month.’”
“Miguel!”
He turned to where he heard his name, that voice like music to his ears. 
“Bebé!”
GymRat!Miguel who runs to you and spins you around like he hasn’t seen you in years. You squeal into his neck, excited because he’s so excited. 
He puts you down and stands in shock, checking his watch, “I thought you had studio right now?”
“Critique ended super early, so I wanted to surprise you!”
“So the rest of your day is free?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
Miguel would punch the air with glee if he wasn’t in public. 
GymRat!Miguel who turns when you peek your head past him to see Xina standing with a small smile on her face. 
He slots his hand into yours and pulls you over. 
“Xina, meet my girlfriend. Bebé, meet Xina.”
You reach your right hand out, introducing yourself. Xina takes your hand with a grip like a blood pressure machine and a quick introduction. 
When you take your hand back, your eyes do a double take between the two, Miguel oblivious to what just took place. 
You clear your throat, “Do you guys take the same class?”
“Yep, we-”
“We go way, way back,” Xina grins. “Like trading silly bandz and Pokemon cards back.”
“Oh shit, really? So you saw Miguel in his baby days. What was he like?”
“Please don’t say anything embarrassing,” Miguel groans out. 
“Yeah, tell me something good. Something juicy.”
“Hm,” Xina tapped her chin. 
Miguel shook his head behind you, hands clasping together in a pleading motion. 
“Miguel had a crush on me.”
That’s not what he expected Xina to say and from the raised eyebrows on your face, neither did you.
“That’s,” you rock on your feet and adjust your backpack, “definitely something.”
“Yeah! He was so cute running around handing me flowers with the roots still attached. I was too busy trying to be the best ballerina around, though. Right, Hare-Hare?”
“Right,” Miguel looked to the door. “Uh, we’ll see you around Xina.”
“Yeah, see you soon,” her fingers twinkled, chains on her nails dangling. 
GymRat!Miguel who kept waiting for you to say something as you both walked to his car. 
He was excited to eat dinner with you for once, but your silence was scaring him. 
“What’s wrong?” He breaks, sick of his aimless thoughts. 
“I don’t know, Hare-Hare, you tell me.”
“Amor, don’t be upset. It was such a long time ago.”
“That’s fine, I don’t care about that. Why would she bring it up in the first place? I don’t even know her like that.”
“I think she was just nervous, she’s not usually like that.”
“Compared to…?”
“Compared to the kind person I know her to be. Look,” Miguel reached for your hand, voice steady. “I’m sure she’ll open up to you as I’m sure you will to her, ok?”
You blew out a deep breath, “Ok.”
“Trust me?”
“I trust you.”
“Good,” he pecked your lips. “Now let’s go get pizza. I’m starving.”
GymRat!Miguel who still brought a gift to the apartment warming. It felt rude to not show up with something. 
You had recommended a candle, so Miguel went and got something that smelled similar to Xina’s perfume plus a candle warmer in the shape of a flower. 
He knocked on the door, a gift bag in his hand.
After a few seconds, it swung open with a guy who he didn’t have to bend down to look at. 
“Woah,” he said. “You’re huge.”
“Uh, thanks? Is Xina here?”
The guy was brushed to the side to reveal a frazzled Xina. 
“H-hey, Miguel! You came!” Xina clung to him, fingers clammy and breath burning through his shirt. 
“Yeah, of course. Was this the wrong day?”
“No! No, no. You’re right, come on in.”
GymRat!Miguel who felt that the apartment was really nice and Xina’s roommates were a rambunctious bunch. 
Although, he expected the event to be a bit more relaxed. There were people crowded together in the living room, some screaming at a game on the TV, some making their mark on the couch, others dancing out on the balcony. 
Miguel was anxious to say the least. 
GymRat!Miguel who was pulled into Xina’s bedroom, the stench of that sticky, sweet perfume filling his nostrils. 
“Sorry about that, I didn’t know it would get this wild.”
“It’s fine,” Miguel shuffles the bag into her hands. “I just wanted to give you this, then I’ll be on my way.”
“Aw, so soon?”
“Yeah, I’ve got some stuff to catch up on.”
He wanted to get out of here. 
His eyes panned around her room, the style of it matching more to her past self. White lace, lilac and soft pink bows, tiny bunny and hamster families sitting on a shelf above her desk. 
A poster from a franchise that she swore she hated but he loved. Funny. 
Xina dug into the bag pulling out the candle warmer, “Miguel, this is so cu-ute! It’ll be perfect on my desk.”
“I thought you would like it.”
“You do know me very well,” she pulls out the candle and holds it to her nose for cartoonishly amount of time. “This smells fucking amazing. It’s like, like the inside of an ice cream bucket. But in a jar.”
“Xina,” Miguel sits the candle down before she moves the wicks up her nose. “Are you high?”
“Only a little…un poco,” she holds her fingers in a pinch. 
He pushed her hand away from his face. 
“They’re not making you take anything, right?” He pointed back to the door. 
“No, I wanted it to. It’s nice. You should try it sometime. Relax a little.”
Miguel watched Xina’s eyes for a moment, searching for anything, something about how she really felt. For the moment, they were only cloudy and unphased. Miguel supposes that he should be like that too. 
“Maybe another time. I think I’m gonna go.”
“If you must,” she pouted and hung on to his shoulder until they reached the door. 
GymRat!Miguel who finally breathed easier once he was in his car. 
He wondered what to get a person to help them come down from a high easier. 
GymRat!Miguel who didn’t care what Lyla had to say, the arcade was a great idea for the 1st Anniversary date. 
He had it all planned out: pick you up at your dorm door, drive you out, about an hour to the closest city, spend the rest of the night exploring the city, come back to the hotel, breakfast in bed, an afternoon at an art class because you wanted to see him paint, an evening at the arcade, and a night to complete out his Mission B: Virgin No More. 
It was perfect. Immaculate. Sublime. 
GymRat!Miguel who took the term passenger princess more seriously than he needed to. 
“You sure you don’t want me to drive?”
“Nope. Just sit there and look pretty.”
“I might fall asleep.”
“You’ll still be pretty either way.”
GymRat!Miguel who has the most fun going to random stores with you. Sure, there were some boutiques where the owners looked at you both like extra heads were sticking out of your necks, but there were also stores that were cozy and warm. 
You both stayed in the nooks and crannies of stores looking at trinkets, jewelry, books, anything. 
“Miguel, look!” you hold up the tiniest pair of baby shoes he’s ever seen. “How precious is that?”
“Put those down, I don’t need any new ideas.”
“You had old ones?”
GymRat!Miguel who buys a giant puzzle for you both to complete together. It’s a watercolor painting of the night sky and the bright day blending together. 
It was the two of you together in one piece, he had to get it. 
GymRat!Miguel who is giddy that you bought a set of matching silk pajamas for you both to wear. 
He knew you were definitely going to get hot in them, but what are hotels for if not turning up the A/C and cuddling together under the thick, starchy comforters? 
GymRat!Miguel who keeps staring at you through the mirror as you brush your teeth. There’s a fluffy headband keeping your hair out of your face, and you’re only wearing the top of your pajama set. 
He’s no better, only rocking the pants. 
“What?” you say with foamy toothpaste flooding your mouth. 
“Nothing. You’re cute.”
You spit out the toothpaste, “You’re cute!”
GymRat!Miguel who holds you close as you take a bunch of mirror selfies before you both head to sleep. 
GynRat!Miguel who knew this day was starting off right when you came out of the bathroom with your stomach showing. The shirt is like a blessing, mesmerizing in multiple areas, hugging your skin tight but loose enough for him to stick his hands under it. 
“Amor, I don’t know if you know this, but,” Miguel pulls you in between his legs. “We’re supposed to actually make it out of the hotel room today.”
“And we will,” your eyes sparkled. “So until we get back, be good.”
Miguel groaned and peppered searing kisses across your skin, hands hot on the pocket of skin he could see, squeezing and gripping. 
“Do I get a reward?”
You lean and whisper in his ear, breath tickling his skin, “A really, really hot one.”
Miguel's eyes are opened wider when you stand back, neck burning. 
“You’re killing me.”
GymRat!Miguel who really sucks at painting. 
“I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong.”
“Well, to start off, your brush isn’t even clean.”
You guide his hand to his water cup with a giggle, “None of your colors are going to show up if you keep dipping them willy-nilly.”
“Ok, but how come your hearts are so much better than mine? We both followed the teacher.”
Your eyes looked from your uniformed artwork, colors tangling together intricately and shapes flowy to Miguel’s canvas that had dripping paint, a bad mix of oversaturation, and wobbly shapes. 
“You know, I’m not completely sure how you managed that, babe. What matters is that you did it with love,” you say noticing both of your initials in one of the best hearts on the page. 
“Maybe you’ll be better at pottery? Mosaic?”
“I think you just enjoy laughing at my expense.”
GymRat!Miguel who rolled the sleeves of his sweater up when it was time to play arcade games. 
He had to look good, show off, and earn prizes. 
You watched with heavy eyes as he geared up to play the boxing game. 
He made the boyfriend outfit look even more yummy, with his button-down peeking from under his blue sweater to match your outfit and his big jeans hugging his waist. 
With a heavy swing, the machine seemed like it lifted off the ground with the force he gave it. His face was so serious as he waited for the score and you were inching closer to insanity. 
The machine faltered, red dashes dancing across the screen. 
“Did you break it?”
“Uh. I hope not.”
After what felt like a moment in which you both probably should have run away or called a worker, the machine blinks back to life. 
“No way.”
A max score of 999 stared back at you both and the card machine lit up with rainbow colors. 
You held his hand in yours, looking at his knuckles for any bruises or blemishes. When you stared up at Miguel incredulously, he had a goofy smile on his face. 
GymRat!Miguel who may have been more competitive than he needed to be. 
You yelled as his score kept inching away from yours on the basketball arcade game. 
“You’re, like, as tall as the machine! You’re cheating!”
“It has nothing to do with height, chiquita.”
You groan out a sound of frustration as you miss your shots, messing up your streak. 
The timer goes out, Miguel winning by a landslide. 
You push your head back as Miguel celebrates. 
GymRat!Miguel who keeps this song-and-dance up for the rest of the night. Sometimes you would win, sometimes he would win. 
His final strike was when you both were in one of those FPS games that required you both to be crammed inside of a dark box. 
“Miguel, stop taking my fucking shots!”
“Oo, she’s getting feisty with me now.”
You thought quickly and leaned over. With an eye on the screen and the intention to rile him up, you moan his name right in his ear, breath needy and warm. You lick at his jaw to seal the deal and turn back. 
Like paper, Miguel folds, and his aim becomes absolutely terrible. 
“W-why would you do that?”
You couldn’t bring yourself to feel that bad as “Player 1: Bunny WINS” and “Player 2: Bear LOSES” jumped across the screen. 
You kiss Miguel on his cheek as he readjusts his pants with a frown on his face. 
GymRat!Miguel who could hear his heartbeat in his ears on the elevator ride back up to the room. 
You were holding onto the giant plushie he gave blood, sweat, and tears to earn, saying that it reminded you of him. 
Miguel, on the other hand, was digging his nails into his palm and opening the collar of his sweater sporadically. 
“You alright?” you say, placing a hand on his elbow.
“I might pass out.”
“Miguel,” you hold him close as you both walk to the door. “You gotta calm down.”
“I am! I’m just nervous.”
“You’re shaking.”
Miguel’s hands tremored as he ran the key card over the censor.
GymRat!Miguel who let you hold his hands as you kissed over his wrists. 
He was so dear to you. His presence, like a beautiful spark.
“You’re so sweet.” A kiss to his palm. “The sweetest there is. I adore you.”
Miguel took a shuddered breath as he watched you, heart rushing to his ears.
GymRat!Miguel who is more calm when you both start to remove your clothes. It wasn’t steamy and desperate like he imagined. It was slow, intimate, and quiet. 
It was like seeing you all over again for the first time when he helped you take off your shirt. It was like stepping into new territory when you held his jeans so he could step out of them. You both took turns taking off an article of clothing, savoring the moment. 
Miguel fumbled a bit when he was met with you the clasps of your bra, fingers knocking against each other.
When the time comes, after what was an hour or so of touching, feeling, and existing within each other, your hands fumble with the condom.
Miguel feels out of his body as you slide it down with care, hands moving as if you were molding clay. 
It wasn’t until he was on top of you that he felt that this was really happening. The foreplay between you a spot of comfort and habit.
After so long, he finally slid in deep, the pit of his stomach quivering. You were so unbearably tight.
“Y-you ok?” Miguel squeezed onto your hand, watching your eyebrows knit together. 
“Yeah, it’s just,” you chuckle, breath almost gone from the feeling of him. “You’re really big.”
Miguel’s face shifted from worried to shocked. 
“Oh! Well, I guess that’s a good thing?”
“You don’t have to guess, I can feel it.”
Miguel twitched and jolted involuntarily, causing you to whimper, your words going straight south. 
“Miguel! Stop moving.”
“Sorry! You’re really tight right now and I’m trying to focus.” 
“God,” you sigh and let your head drop to your pillow. “Are we even doing this right?”
“No clue.”
Miguel kissed your collarbone as you wrapped your arms under his. He continued to kiss across your shoulders, lips light and airy. Up your neck to your jaw, he could feel you relax and breathe a little easier. 
He grazes his mouth to your cheeks, humming as you move them closer to his lips. He kisses your temple, your eyebrows, your forehead. At your nose, you start to giggle, Miguel’s kisses leaving flutters on your skin. 
Miguel joins in on your joy, grinning as you try to return the pecks. 
“Ok,” you whisper. “I think I’m ready. You can move now.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. I want you to make me feel good. I want you to feel good.”
Miguel looked at your eyes, waiting, wanting, open. He couldn’t help but to think how lucky he was to have a girl like you who was just so beautiful and lovely. 
His body is pressed against yours, the plush of your chest molding onto his. Your legs were wrapped around his thighs and your fingers danced across his back. 
He takes a hand to hold the side of your face while the other one is pressing you even closer to him. He moves out as best as he can, the warmth of you an addicting feeling, and slides back in slowly, a shallow thrust to start off. 
Your breath was hot against his mouth as you shuddered. Miguel groaned, feeling the heat of you through the thin condom. 
He moved again, watching as your face twisted and turned. Your hands are pressed against his back, palms applying pressure until the feeling stretches to your fingertips. The pricks of your nails dig softly into Miguel’s skin, muscles moving as he tucks your hair away from your face. 
By the third thrust, Miguel is moaning out, overwhelmed with you everywhere. When he breathes, you breathe. When he tightens his hand on your back, you tighten yours. When the feeling of you becomes too much to bear, you’re right there with him, eyes heavy and wet. 
Everything was heightened, from the sound of the bed squeaking as Miguel’s hips moved, to the little sounds you made when he inched in deeper. He’s scared he might shout in your face due to how good you feel so he presses against your lips, grunts coming out with each thrust. 
You take him with stride, hands balling up to fists as he gets deeper and deeper. 
His name from your lips is broken down from two syllables to four, enunciation clear enough for Miguel to know that he’s doing something right. 
“Don’t stop,” you plead, gaze reaching Miguel’s soul. “Please.”
“I won’t.” He would never leave if he had the choice. “Am I, shit, am I doing good? Do you feel alright?”
He shifts back to see your face and his heart speeds up watching you under him. Your arms fall to the bed and your mouth stutters open as Miguel continues. 
Your eyes drip as you let out staccato moans and Miguel leans down to kiss away your tears. 
“C’mon, bebé, let me know.”
You nod your head and cry out when Miguel goes even deeper. He hums against your mouth as a thank you. 
“Miggy, I,” you stop as you take a breath. 
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
A rush of heat from top to bottom filled Miguel’s core. The air left his lungs swiftly and came back in twice as fast. His back shook, nerves like a spring. All he could hear was your breaths, all he could smell was your warm skin, all he could taste was the lingering touch of your tongue, all could feel was the hot valley of you, all he could see was you.
He dies and comes back to life, sight piecing together that the stars and hearts were not part of you but they were just his muddled brain taking you in like the first day he met you. His throat burns like he swallowed hot coal. 
Your mouth is moving but he still can’t connect the words yet. He feels himself floating away. 
“Baby?” the way that your hands grip his body ground him. “Can you hear me?”
“Yes,” Miguel nods, eyes blinking fast. “What just happened.”
“I think you came?”
Miguel looked down, and sure enough, you were right. 
He doesn’t remember you getting any relief. 
“Can I-” he groans as you clamp down on him when tries to pull out. “Can we do that again?”
You nod your head, “Please.” 
GymRat!Miguel who, after a brand new condom and a clearer mind, realizes that he has a lot of work to do. 
He knew that you were his everything, but he couldn’t deny that he was a little embarrassed. You swore to him that it was ok, flattering even, but Miguel isn’t buying it. 
Your legs were bent at his sides as he lifted your hips off the mattress. He held them up as he stroked deep and focused on the sound of your breaths. 
“B-baby,” your voice is stunted as Miguel keeps a steady tempo. “Look at me”
Miguel groans into your neck, shuddering from the sound of your voice and your hands rubbing his sides. Your moans were high in your throat, breaking as Miguel’s hands pushed and pulled at your skin. 
“I can’t.”
“Why,” your words fizzle as Miguel hits a sweet spot. “Why not?”
“If I look at you, I’m gonna cum.”
Miguel goes faster as he feels you constrict against him. The bed creaks as the sound of him delving into you gets louder and louder. 
“Oh,” your nails scratch his back. Miguel matches your voice, desperate to please you. 
You open your mouth again, a three-letter phrase ghosting your tongue. 
“D-don’t,” Miguel’s hips freeze and unfreeze as he hears the first vowel leave your mouth.
“I wanna see you.”
Miguel shifts, eyes finding yours, and he knows he won’t make it. 
He tells you just as much and you pull him closer. 
“Te amo, mi luna.”
Miguel cries as he feels the air leaving him. He reaches down to touch you, your body jolting when his fingers graze your clit. 
You cum around him and he pushed through, waiting until you were shaking to let go. 
“You,” Miguel leans his forehead on yours. Both of you are shaking, blood pumping with adrenaline. “Play so unfair.”
“But you love me?”
He cuddles into your thumbs wiping at his eyes, “So much. I love you so, so much.”
You kiss him, feeling warm and satisfied, sighing as he melts on top of you. You run your fingers through his wild hair and scratch at his name. 
After a while, Miguel perks up, eyes sparkly and big like a little puppy. 
“A-again.”
“What?”
GymRat!Miguel who pulls you to the edge of the bed by your legs. You yelp at his strength and the icy pricks of the hotel A/C coating your overheating skin. 
Miguel slides back in with a practiced ease, the angle different, but not unfamiliar. 
He held your legs and hips from the bed, watching as your body moved from the faster momentum he produced. 
Your voice reaches the ceiling as your hands grip for anything. Seeing your reaction, Miguel grips your hips and your stomach, angling even deeper. It was fulfilling until your hands landed on your chest, stopping them from jerking so.
Miguel pulled your wrists together and down, watching as your arms framed your chest. He moans out your name, eyes stuck on the picture presented before him. 
How could anyone ever believe you were not beautiful? 
GymRat!Miguel who can’t help but to ask for one more round. In your disheveled state, you tell him it’s the last one. 
The sounds leaving your bodies were enough to make the bed blush. It was something so perfect about the whispers you mewled into each other's skin contrasting the wet sound of Miguel slapping into your wet entrance. 
Somehow you were nearly bent in half, knees almost next to your ears, as Miguel’s feet were planted on the bed. You didn’t even know your body could do that. 
At every smack of skin, Miguel was moaning your name louder and louder, mind completely gone. 
“I’m, ngh, gonna cum!” Your voice comes out at a volume that matches his. 
Miguel nods, encouraging you to release, kissing along your skin. 
You shout as he swerves his hips, melting your cour as he slides along your sweet spots. 
“So good,” Miguel says, balls twitching against you as crumbles to the bed. “So amazing. Mi luz, mi sol.”
The two of you catch your breath in the dim hotel lighting, jolting with aftershocks of your anniversary. 
GymRat!Miguel who held you on his chest as you slept, lips pressed against the top of your head. He checked his phone before going to sleep, wanting to set a timer for the morning. 
A Game Exchange’s Worst Nightmare
Miggy Mig MC: I did it
Winner-Winner: ???
Ly(ability)la: Only you would announce losing your virginity like that
Tempie: omg
You’re not a baby anymore 🥺
What am I gonna do
Winner-Winner: WAIT
LESGOOOO
Tempie: I never thought this day would come
Winner-Winner: you was tearing it up wasn’t you? 🤪
Ly(ability)la: you’re so annoying
Tempie: like I didn’t prepare fast enough
I
I WASNT READY
Winner-Winner: I hope you did that trick I taught you
It gets em every time
Guaranteed banger
Tempie: This actually ruined my night
Ly(ability)la: Temp is losing it and so is Wins
Congrats to you ig
Winner-Winner: I bet she’s KNOCKED OUUOOT
Ly(ability)la: is being normal like not in your cards or…
Tempie: I think I’m sick
Miggy Mig MC: .....
Gabri 🤏🏽🤡:
“I did it”
“No fucking way"
"NO FUCKING WAY"
"AND? AND SO?"
“It was just as good as you say. That’s all I’m saying.”
"I feel like I need to throw something on the grill"
“Not too much Gabri”
GymRat!Miguel who wrapped his arms around you as you fixed up something the next morning. 
“G’morning,” you say to a heavy Miguel leaning down on you. 
“Super good morning,” his hands reach to cup your left breast and your stomach under your robe. He left a long kiss on your shoulder. “Whatcha doing?”
“‘M getting your gift together.”
“Another one?”
“Mm-hm.”
“Well, let me step up my game.’
GymRat!Miguel who sits with you on the bed as you both trade gifts.
“Aw, Miguel! How am I supposed to eat these? You look so cute here,” you took a piece of candy in your hand and looked his face planted on it. 
“Like this,” Miguel takes your hand and guides the candy to his mouth. 
You smile watching him, body warm. 
GymRat!Miguel who watches your eyes glow when you see the dolphin charm with the date that you two took our first date. 
“Put it on me?”
Miguel slid the jewelry over your skin, watching as gold danced against your skin.
GymRat!Miguel who feels like crying when flipped through the scrapbook you made. Each section matched a song in the playlist you made for him. 
It was so thoroughly crafted and thought out that Miguel couldn’t stop the waterworks. 
“Why did I think that outfit was cool?” Miguel laughed wetly as he saw a picture of you both at a pumpkin patch.
“You look adorable,” you catch his tear on your thumb and hug his side.
GymRat!Miguel who drops you off at your dorm with kiss after kiss to your lips. 
Jess opens the door with a dramatic sigh, “The two of you are glowing. How cute.”
GymRat!Miguel who reaches back to his night with you every time he’s sick of the class he’s in. 
A little bit dangerous when it comes to his labs, but everything is reminding him of you. He can’t even look at his blanket without thinking about the way your shirt draped your body. 
Maybe he should make love to you with it next time.
GymRat!Miguel who is in a daze during his programming lab. 
“Earth to Miguel. Did you finish the mini code?”
“Uh, yeah,” Miguel replied to Xina. 
“Good, because I need you to check this equation really quick. I need to turn it in later this week.”
Miguel leaned over to Xina’s laptop, arm reaching across her. 
“So,” she slides her nails up his arm. “What do you think?”
“It’s fine. This part is very wrong, though.”
She squeezes at his muscle, chest pressing on him.
“Are you cold or something?”
“No, why do you ask?”
“Because,” Miguel slides her laptop in front of him. “You’re really touchy today.”
“Miguel, I’m always touchy.”
She puts an arm on the back of her rolling chair and leans on her wrist. 
“True.”
“Is there a problem with friendly touches?”
“No, Xina. I’m not like that.”
“Ok,” she holds her hands up in defense. “I’m just trying to understand.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“That,” Miguel says turning to her, “Being weird. Overstepping.”
Xina folds her arms and nods her head, “I got it.”
GymRat!Miguel whose time with you dwindles within the next couple of weeks. If it’s not studying, it’s the robotics team. If it’s not the robotics team, it’s his class schedule never matching yours. If it’s not your studios, it’s his study sessions with Xina. 
Currently, she was sitting beside him on the first floor of the library, head on his shoulder as she sighed over a new formula. 
“This is so gross,” she said, wiping away eraser shavings.
“Did you even try?”
“Like, once. That was enough.”
GymRat!Miguel who gets your text and looks up to where he knew you’d come from. He felt like he could feel you close, but the entrance was so far away he couldn’t see. 
He got up for a second, turning and standing tall to catch a glimpse. 
“I know you’re not about to give up this. You said it was easy! That’s not the Miguel I know,” Xina grabbed his wrist, hands unbearably hot. 
His phone buzzed again. You said you were going back to your studio. 
He sighed and sat back down, mind foggy.
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divider by: @thecutestgrotto + @adornedwithlight 🩵
a/n: Y'all know that gif with the smoking duck? I feel like that but I would replace the cigarette with an Icee or something.
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endless-ineffabilities · 6 months ago
Text
The Bolter (part six) (18+)
Steve Rogers x f!reader / Bucky Barnes x f!reader
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synopsis : Steve carries out his decision to return to Peggy, aiming to live out the rest of his days with her. But this means he's leaving everything behind - he's leaving you. Did he make the right choice? Will there be anything left with you to come back to?
in this chapter : Bucky and the reader finally give in to their desires. In 2018, after the battle in Wakanda, Steve Rogers decides to be selfish and takes what he deserves (also known as, smut-filled self-indulgent chronicles with our super soldiers) + in the 1950s, Steve is greeted with the most unexpected of visitors
themes/warnings : language, smut ahead! 18+ - minors dni
word count : 4.3k
main masterlist ▪︎ series masterlist
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2024, seven months after Steve's departure
It felt strange at first, feeling Bucky's lips against yours.
He's gentle, each kiss punctuated by a pause, like he's savouring each one.
He's worried that you might not kiss him back and that you don't feel the same.
But how could you not feel the same? How could this not feel right?
He pulls back for a second, and he takes you in. Your eyes blinking at him, lips left parted with a wet sheen over it.
He smiles. You mirror his gesture.
It's okay, he tells himself as he presses his forehead to yours, I am not alone in this.
He looks on as his warm-blooded hand grazes down to your collarbones, snakes above your ribs, then halts by the curve of your hips, gripping with a bit more strength, his reservations easing.
He wants more. His deep blue eyes beg the question.
That blue reminds you of someone else's for a split second, ones you would recognize anywhere, ocean eyes that you think you would love for all time.
Or so you thought.
Kissing Bucky feels like waking up from a drawn-out fever dream. All your life, you've been on the run, never quite finding a haven. Save for that cabin, many years ago.
But now, you could have this, and this something - someone - could actually be just yours.
You pull him back in, giving in, shivers running down your spine when his tongue snakes past your lips and dances with your own. His hands cup your backside, then lifts you up to wrap your legs to around his waist.
He slams you back against the wall as a result, and Bucky is quick to appraise you, asking, "Is this okay?"
Letting out a shaky breath, you affirm, "Bucky, this is more than fucking okay."
His body slumps in relief against you, and he nuzzles your neck, breaking into a grin, and god help you if he doesn't feel better than the warmth of sunlight after an endless winter.
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He kisses you again, messily sucking at your bottom lip as he deftly carries you over to your kitchen island. You feel flushed when he pulls back to admire you, his pupils dilated, and says, "You taste so good, doll."
"Bucky," you pant, your fingers curling at the back of his neck.
"So good," he repeats. "I bet you taste good all over, too."
You're suddenly grateful to be wearing only teensy pajama shorts, feeling the rough pads of his fingertips pressing against your skin. The ridges of his bionic arm leaving tingles in their wake.
He lowers himself, until his face is level with your regrettably still-clothed crotch. His every breath gusts between your inner thighs, and when he bites his lip and slowly pulls your shorts and underwear down, down, until they slide off your ankles, the hungry look that forms on his face is almost enough to make you explode.
"You don't know how much I've wanted this," he whispers, lips gliding along your upper thigh, until it lands at the crest of your labia, where he places the softest, open-mouthed kisses. Your ass presses against the cold tile on your kitchen counter instinctively, your tight-knuckled hands bracing at your sides.
Maybe this is all a damn good dream. Maybe you imbibed yourself to sweet slumber, white wine bottle rolling empty by your bedside table.
Bucky licks a stripe along your cunt, before eagerly sucking at your throbbing opening. He uses his bionic fingers to stretch you open, sliding in and out, as his tongue plunges just above. After a while, he looks up at you for assurance.
Yes, god yes.
He's real and he's warm and he's here.
"Say you're mine, doll," he says. It's a command, but it comes across almost pleading. You can't exactly fault Bucky for having his fair share of doubts and insecurity. Steve Rogers has a light that is hard to eclipse, even in memory.
But that's all he is now. A memory.
There are voices in the back of Bucky's mind that taunt him, saying, she'll never be yours. Not really. How could she, when you don't hold a candle to her former lover? The hero, the soldier, the Avenger.
But he drowns them all out, even just for tonight. One look at you falling apart from his touch is enough to quell all of his worries. I deserve this, he thinks. Steve left to get what he truly wants. Who's to stop me from doing the same?
"All yours," you say. "I'm all yours."
His heart soars, and his lips stretch out in a smile, glistening from the juices of your cunt.
He stands, his face levelling with yours, and his mouth gravitating towards your own. Your hands find purchase in his hair, holding him ever closer, fingernails massaging his scalp.
He groans in pleasure at the sensation and against your lips, he admits, half-muffled, "I could kiss you forever."
"Good thing you super soldiers live quite long then."
"Hmm," he agrees, then adds breathlessly, his blue eyes burning into you, "I wanna... wanna fuck you, doll. Would you let me have you?"
By his tone, you almost wonder how he held himself back from adding please at the end.
"Bucky," you can't help but smile, "do you even have to ask?"
And it's a goddamn blissful whirlwind from there.
He pulls you from the kitchen island, and you land clumsily on his shoes, tripping into his arms in the process. He laughs, jokily saying, "My girl right here..."
"Yeah," you wag your eyebrows, "I am so smooth."
"It's almost impressive," he responds, both hands framing your face, about to lean in.
"Almost?" you reach up and trace his lips.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were some secret agent or something," he makes a suspicious face, and it's all so silly that you break out into a giggle.
"Oh yeah?" you play along, while you two sway aimlessly, arms wrapped around each other.
"Yeah," he nods, then says, "come here and kiss me already."
"Just a kiss then?"
"A kiss," he nips at your earlobes, "then y'know, maybe we can make love and all that," then he pecks at the corner of your lips, "maybe... I dunno... you'll finally let me fuck you senseless." He shrugs at that, as if it was the most obvious thing.
You come to realise that Bucky Barnes has perhaps always been this charming. Was he like this in the 40s - a smooth talker, perennial ladies magnet? You remind yourself to ask him about it later.
But now... now the two of you stumble into your bedroom, in a flurry of kisses and the rest of your clothes haphazardly thrown on the floor.
Taking him in, you see how Bucky is undeniably well-built, his every muscle defined and trained to perfection. He makes a sound of appreciation when the last article of clothing is stripped from your body, his hands grabbing on the closest patch of skin he can find. "You're so beautiful," he preens, squeezing at the mounds of your breasts. He then guides you down on your bed, his mouth latching onto your nipple, sucking and gently nipping at the flesh.
"Are you kidding," you can barely speak, eyes shut in pleasure, when he plunges his fingers back into your soaked cunt. "Have you seen you?"
He merely continues, watching as you grip his wrist and beg, "Just like that, Buck... so good... faster...."
Adding a third finger in, he whispers in your ear, "You gonna come for me, doll?"
"Y-yes... keep going..."
"So damn perfect," he purrs, fingers making hook motions inside of you, speeding up the pace.
He alternates between kissing you full on the mouth, and nipping at your neck, letting you take grateful breaths of air. Your chest rises and falls almost in sync with his fingers audibly slopping in and out of your cunt.
Bucky can't seem to take it any longer when straddles you, lining up with your entrance. His sucks your pre-cum from his fingers before giving his taut cock a few strokes for good measure. He tilts his pelvis forward, his tip pressing right against your opening. Keeping it in position, he half-crawls up to you, until his forearms brace by the sides of your face.
His pupils are blown out and his eyes appear entirely darkened when they meet yours. You nod once, biting your lip in anticipation.
His cock enters you, stretching you out wide. It's a familiar kind of pain, one that's most welcome. He watches in awe as your eyes roll to the back of your head as he slides in, inch by inch, until he's fully sheathed.
He lets out a deep exhale, partially in relief. He's here, you've accepted him and you're only his for tonight.
You catch him smiling to himself, and ask, "Amused, Buck?"
"Oh, it's nothing," he replies. He slides out of you just so, before burying himself back in, right to the hilt. A moan bubbles out of you throat.
"Just thinkin' about how lucky I am," he rasps through another quick snap of his pelvis. "Thinkin' about how damn perfect you sound, taking my cock in so well like that."
"Mmmphh," is all you can manage, when he picks up the pace, slamming into you with every thrust, his balls slapping against your ass. He sits back, lifting your legs over his shoulders.
The new angle allows him to plunge in deeper, hitting that one sweet aching spot each time.
"Bucky," you moan, hands reaching to steady yourself using the headboard, greedily looking to where his body connects with yours. To where his thick cock disappears inside your pussy, again and again.
It turns sloppy, frantic, your legs freely extending to the sides. Beads of sweat forming by his brows, grunts freely emanating from his lips. He falls forward, and you wrap your arms around him, nails scratching his back.
"Oh yeah, doll," he would say, "...feel so good... so good..." until the words are no longer coherent, his pelvis jackrabbiting with no rhythm.
"Bucky," you moan, feeling your release nearing, getting hotter and hotter.
His forehead connects with yours, and with one wet all-tongue kiss, you feel him convulse inside of you, filling your insides with his cum.
He makes sure to keep moving, to keep kissing you all over, until you follow not long after.
Hands gripping the sheets, you're overwhelmed with bliss. It's all pleasure, all warmth, all Bucky.
He collapses next to you after a moment, breathless. The two of you share the smile of satisfied lovers, and he wants to say more. He wants to say it, but the confession isn't fully formed.
Not yet.
For now, this is enough.
You lean in and press a gentle kiss on his lips.
Oh yeah, he thinks. This is more than enough.
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2018, two nights after the battle in Wakanda
Once it started, it was like dominoes cascading right into place.
There was no stopping it - you and Steve definitely had no desire to stop.
He appeared in the doorway of your quarters just after midnight, the Avengers compound somber and silent. Once he spoke your name in that low voice, you knew what he wanted.
You wanted it too. Needed it even.
You both did everything you could, put it all on the line and it was all lost in a single second. With just a mere snap.
You were still trying to process the depth of your loss, still haven't reached out to your friends to check if they still existed. You didn't want to face the possibility of calls unanswered, no one left on the other line.
Steve was the same, but he bore it harder than you. In that moment, he hated himself - the so-called leader of the Avengers, ever the figurehead of guidance and hope. Everyone always looked on him to be perfect and dominant and steadfast.
He knew none of that would ease up anytime soon. And to the rest of the world, he would have to be Captain America. They would look to him for answers, and advice on how to proceed. He would be expected to carry everyone through their pain, and he would.
But who was ever there for him? When will he ever be allowed to just be Steve, and to show that he also feels completely vulnerable, especially in that time?
He whispered your name, just the once, and that was all it took.
America's Golden Boy had been holding everything in ever since they got him out of the ice. That night, you allowed him to release it all, and the two of you collided in a frenzy of lust and longing, frustration and defeat.
And unbridled love.
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Steve kissed you hungrily, much harder than he did right after the battle, if that were even possible.
That kiss had been bruising, but this was uninhibited.
No, there was nothing unsure in his movements. There was no doubt of what he wanted when he picked you up bridal-style, biting at your neck.
He gracelessly plops you down on your bed, and you bite your lip at the sight of him. He'd shaved again, so it was easy for you to spot the fleck of fresh blood on his lips.
He took notice, and he carelessly ran his thumb over it.
"You bit me," he said, "you fucking minx."
Steve Rogers sure had a mouth on him when he wanted to.
Getting on your knees, you pull his hand to your lips and suck the red spot off his thumb.
"Goddamn it, angel," he whispers huskily, eyes glazing over in lust.
Angel. You felt your warmth pooling down below.
He hurriedly stripped off his white shirt and stepped out of his navy sweatpants, then beckoned to you with a tilt of his jaw, "C'mere."
Standing upright by the foot of the bed, he simply watched as you crawled closer to him.
You knelt on the bed, palms pressed against his bare chest. Even at that height, he was still angled at almost a foot taller than you.
"What do you want?" he asked, his fingers tilting your face up at him. "Use your words, angel."
Tell me you want me.
"Steve," you started to say, but your words fumble when he started peppering soft kisses on your neck.
"Mmm," he purred against your skin, "what was that?"
"I... I want you."
His stony mask fell, but it was short-lived. His lips curled right back into that imperious smirk.
He then bunched his fists in the neckline of your shirt, then rips it down the middle, like it was nothing but paper.
Your torso left bare to him, he cast a hungry look over the curve of your breasts, before his eyes met yours again.
"Off," his fingers ran along the waistband of your trousers, drifting against your skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake. "unless you want me to rip it apart, too."
His commanding voice made you scramble to follow, shakily pulling your trousers off and pushing them off the bed.
"All of it," he impatiently added. So you complied.
Aye, Captain.
Your underwear landed atop your trousers on the floor. You were exposed to him, fully, cold air making your nipples rise on attention. He shamelessly took you in, but he does not make a move just yet.
He made it known that you should follow his orders. "Well?" he said. "What are you waiting for?" His eyes lower to the shape of his cock straining against his boxers, then back to you.
Licking your lips, you lowered the cotton, until his erect manhood was revealed to you in all its glory, glistening at the tip. You'd imagined it, many times before, wondering whether the serum also made this part of him enhanced.
And it did. God, it did.
Or maybe Steve Rogers has always been this blessed.
Your eyes flit to him for permission, and he just looked amused. Gripping at base of his length, you angled your head forward, and let your saliva drip down on it. You use the wetness from your spit and his pre-cum to give his cock several, good strokes, making it twitch in the process.
He hummed, the sound deep in his chest. "Good girl," he praised you, making your whole body feel like fucking jelly, "don't keep me waiting, now."
Your mouth formed an O-shape, sliding down on his cock, and you take him in fully until his tip touched the back of your throat. He fucking moans, the sound so lewd to your ears, disjointed by his little shaky breaths.
"That's my... good... girl," he praised, when you moved your head up and back down, lips gliding smooth on the thick girth of his soaked cock. He pressed his palm on the back of your head, guiding you, making you suck him a faster pace.
It's too much - your own increasing pleasure, and the sensation of his cock repeatedly hitting the back of your throat - that errant tears escape the corners of your eyes.
"Shhh, my angel," he purred. "I'm coming... just you wait..."
"Mmm," you could barely make a sound, only glancing up to appreciate him. His eyebrows are ruffled, maroon lips parted and panting, his head tilted to see his good girl at a better angle.
His moaned loudly, almost growled, the sound rumbling in his chest. "Fuck, fuck," he curses, "I'm so close..."
You slid him in deep one last time, before he pulled out of your mouth suddenly, pushing you to your back. He clambered onto the sheets in a flourish, before releasing streams of hot milky cum on your chest.
His fingers squeezed his cock, as he emptied himself onto you, watching as the rivulets stream from your nipples down to your bedsheets.
"Steve," you watched in amazement, entranced by the sheer pleasure in his expression. "Take me."
"Oh I will," he promised, still stroking himself at the sight of you. He's hard again, and you just laid there, aching to be filled.
He positioned himself, darkened gaze greedily taking you in, pleased by the unabashed desire on your face. He doesn't break eye contact as he mercilessly pushed his cock inside you in one fell swoop. The sheer size of it gave rise to a slightly painful sensation, and you bit your tongue to keep from screaming his name.
He didn't like that, didn't take to the idea that you were holding back.
"Scream my name, angel," he prodded. "You know you want to."
And scream his name you did. You couldn't help it, repeatedly exclaiming, "Fuck yes, Steve," as he pounded into you without abandon. He gave it everything, let go of it all, with each relentless thrust.
Your eyes were closed in sheer pleasure when suddenly he deftly twists your body over, his cock never leaving the slick warmth of your pussy.
The sudden change in position rendered you alert for a moment, your hands out reaching out to brace yourself.
You're left on all fours, hands gripping the sheets, as Steve kept slamming into your dripping cunt. He kept a tight hold on you, squeezing your raised ass, using it to bury himself even deeper.
He made you see stars with every sharp snap of his hips, made you moan his name again and again. Your cunt getting slicker, the warmth in your belly spreading each time he praised you with, "My good girl," or, "You take me so well, angel."
He soon released again inside of you, then pulled out, your pussy dripping with his cum. But he wasn't finished just yet. He effortlessly carried you over to one side of your room, your back pressed against his chest.
You immediately realised what he wanted to do, when he stopped right in front of the full-length mirror, and bid you with a stern, "Hands up."
You braced your palms against the glass, catching his eyes in the reflection which were clouded over in sheer lust. He pressed his palm on your lower belly and takes you in from behind, his cock sliding right back into your cunt. The pleasure of it hit so damn good, that you knees almost gave way.
"Look at how good you take me," he groaned from behind you. "Look at how beautiful you are, angel."
Your moans melded with his, along with the slick constant sound of his cock plunging into your sore pussy.
At some point, you fell forward and the motion made him follow. Your breasts pressed against the mirror, and he tilted your head back to sloppily kiss you, one hand applying pressure on your neck. He left bites on your neck and shoulders, his sharp teeth sinking into the skin to muffle his moans.
He fucked you wildly, drunk on the sight of your blissed-out face in the reflection. When your release came, it fell almost in sync with his, cum spilling down your thighs.
It took a long while to come down from such a high, and you lay in bed, letting everything sink in. You watched as he retrieved a wet towel from your bathroom and cleaned you up promptly.
When he joined you a moment later, he encased you with his entire body, legs entwined with yours, face nuzzled against your neck.
You felt tiredness quickly setting in, as you stroked his face, lovingly whispering, "How about we just go back to our cabin, hmm?"
That was just a dream, and you both knew it. The world just wasn't in the habit of allowing you two to simply be happy.
In that moment, Steve wanted to cry. Because you were perfect, just so perfect, and he wasn't.
He could never be good enough, never be the Steve you thought he was. Your Steve. All he was is a man out of time, a man who can never come home from the war.
He was broken, and all he had left was the last truth he held onto, the one thing he could give you.
"I love you," he whispered as you drifted to sleep.
He wouldn't be there when you woke in the morning. But you would remember everything, and like a resounding echo, his words would never leave you.
I love you.
If only that was enough. If only that made him stay.
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2024, seven months after Steve's departure
Bucky stays over for the night, and you wake up in his arms.
It's a lazy day, no routine in place, the two of you falling in and out of sleep, talking nonsense and sharing food. Smiling against kisses. Having to bite your lip at the sensation of his metal fingers pleasuring you over again.
At some point in the early evening, you decide to wash up and get dressed. You settle on the couch in your living room, as he takes it upon himself to make sandwiches in the kitchen.
You switch the TV on and the main news channel appears, the sound lowered as you watch Bucky find his way around your cupboards.
"Need any help?"
He winks at you, funnily waving a piece of toast up, "I got it, doll."
Then something flashes from the corner of your eye, that metallic red, white, and blue.
It's on the screen - that shield - being paraded around by some stranger.
Your heart pounding, you increase the volume to the maximum, and Bucky's attention is immediately piqued.
The sounds of a full marching band erupt in your apartment, theme music being played in what looks like a high school football field.
Bucky is now at your side, his work in the kitchen forgotten.
John Walker is our nation's new Captain America, the screen reads.
"What the fuck?" you exclaim.
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The 1950s, seven months after Steve's arrival
The visitors at the door render Steve alert, the sight an immediate wake-up call to his senses.
Nothing ever happens in his life in this time. There is no reason to look out for danger in his calm piece of suburbia.
Steve doesn't understand why it feels like he all but welcomed the presence of a threat, his neurons finally firing back up, all of his senses heightened.
"Loki," he greets coldly.
"Right," Loki says, then turns to his companion, "I told you he wouldn't be too eager to see me."
"Come on now, what do you mean?" the man responds. "This is Steve Rogers, he's possibly the most polite person of his time."
"Okay, but even this dutiful soldier would surely punch me in the face after what I tried to do to his world - "
"Well, you were being plain ridiculous when you made everyone kneel," the man says, without missing a beat, like he was simply talking about something regular that occurred over lunch.
"I know, I know," Loki shakes his head. "Can't we just forget about that?"
"Stop," Steve snaps, and the two visitors fall silent. He addresses Loki, "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Oh," the man smiles, "Language, Cap."
He's met with an impatient glare from Steve who towers over him.
The man balks, "Hmm, isn't that a thing you say to - "
Loki only shakes his head at him.
"Well," the man straightens, "it's a pleasure to meet you, Captain," he offers his hand, "My name is Mobius and I work for the TVA."
Steve reluctantly shakes his hand, while routinely keeping watch on Loki.
Mobius, aware that Steve's sense of suspicion has no chance of easing, goes straight to the point.
"Steve, we're here because... well... you're not supposed to be here."
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Read part seven here ~
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I know what you're thinking - how can Steve still leave after ALL THAT???? Well, he's a complicated man, darlings. And he'll battle his fair share of self-loathing and depression in the years prior to Endgame. Love is brutal sometimes, and Steve just won't be able to allow himself to succumb to it when he's not at peace :(
Also - I wanted to reverse the usual theme of Steve being the gentle lover, and Bucky being darker and self-assured. But I wanted it to still make sense - here Steve was rough because he's using it as a form of release, after all the trauma he went through. And sweet Bucky was understandably a bit reluctant because he doesn't trust himself completely yet.
you get the gist ;) I've loved each and every one of your comments/messages etc. Stay tuned for more of our beloved bolters 💙
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mochie85 · 1 year ago
Text
Never Enough
One-Shot Masterlist | Complete Masterlist
Summary: Loki tests your limits as he tries one last time to make you scream. Word Count: 1.9K Pairing: Loki x Female Reader Warnings: Explicit. Smut. It's mostly filth with a fluff ending. Pleasure Dom! Loki, bondage, rough oral, use of toys, edging. P in V. Aftercare.
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The air was hot and humid from hours of heavy panting. The once cool satin sheets were sweltering against your skin. They no longer held the cold comforts to ease the fire crawling through you.
Loki sat on the settee, facing you as you writhed on his bed. He sat with his legs crossed, an ankle above his other knee. One hand settled on the back of the chaise. The other nursed a hundred-year-old scotch. You could hear the ice-sphere clink with the glass whenever he held it up to his lips for a sip. He looked like an emperor watching a match, a favorite pastime of entertainment, as you battled with your wits to survive his night of debauchery.  
How many climaxes has it been? Three? Five? You lost count after Loki decided to suspend your arms above you and tie them to the posts of his bed.
“You look so lovely like this. Do you think you can give me one more, pet?” he growled as he turned the vibrator up using the remote control he had.
With each orgasm, your sensitivity rose. But so did the intensity of his toy. A sweet torture that you agreed to. One that you are now questioning. “I- I don’t…unnhh…” you moaned, arching your back and pulling on the restraints.
“Oh, but I love to see you unravel. Every. Time. You sing so beautifully for me.” Loki said taking another sip of his scotch. His eyes roamed your body. You could feel his stare caressing every inch of your skin. But it wasn’t enough.
“I…I need you, please,” you begged. You needed him to touch you. You needed his firm grip on your body to keep you tethered to this world. Otherwise, you would lose yourself in the haze of lust he was designing. Soft prayers escaped your lips to the god you hoped would hear them. You needed to feel something. Anything other than the soaked sheets beneath you and the unrelenting vibration of his device in between you.
Loki waved his hands and the bindings around your wrist disappeared. The slight rope burn stinging on your wrists. The vibration in between your legs stopped and soon you felt its absence as you pressed your legs together for release.
“I just don’t know what to do with you, bunny,” he admonished you. He stood up slowly, making his way over to the edge of the bed. He placed his hands inside his pockets as the light from the lone lamp behind him outlined his silhouette in rich gold. His hair fell across his face. His tongue roamed over his teeth and lips as he appraised your body. As if you were a morsel of decadence ready to be devoured.
Your eyes raked over him. From his hungry stare to his broad shoulders, down to the growing bulge tightening his pants. You were glad to know that you had affected him somehow.
“I’m sorry,” you apologized, feeling sheepish at the unknown slight you seemed to have caused. You arched your back off the bed, moaning, tempting him for a closer look. Touch me please, you thought as you conveyed your cravings in silence.
“Here I am giving you exactly what you wanted. Exactly what you asked for,” he cooed, crawling over your spent body on the bed. “And yet you still ask for more…you greedy girl.” He caged your head in between his arms. Your eyes followed the veins that flowed from his wrists up to where they hid underneath his rolled sleeves. But he did not stop crawling over you till your head was nestled in between his thighs.
You felt the heat and warmth in between his legs. Your hands involuntarily ran over his steel thighs, feeling the rough texture of his dark jeans. The quick intake of his breath betrayed the cool demeanor he was trying to portray. His hooded eyes and his sharp jaw looked down at you from up above, savoring the view of you underneath and in between him.
“You little minx. Did I say you can touch me?” His thighs closed in on your head below. You placed your hands to your side as you donned your best cherubic look for him.
“I’m sorry, sir,” you apologized biting your lip. Loki pinched his thumb onto your chin and pulled your lip from your bite. He ran his thumb gently over your swollen lips as he unbuttoned his jeans. Your eyes watched his fingers pull his zipper down and your mouth went slack as he stroked himself in front of you. Drool escaped the side of your mouth as your tongue darted forward trying to catch the precum beading off his tip.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Loki smiled. He sat on his knees, dominating over your wrecked body, not wanting to crush you underneath his godly thighs. You wouldn’t mind though.  
“You are so desperate. So hungry and greedy for more. Hence, I’m going to use that eager little mouth of yours…” Loki tilted his head to the side. The view of his neck straining to keep control, the tightness in his jaw, made you ball your fist and clench your thighs.
“My greedy little girl.” His voice was low and smooth like the scotch he was drinking. It resonated deep within you, holding you as a captive listener. “I always take care of you. Don’t I?”
“Yes, sir,” you moaned impatiently.
“I spoil you too much. But don’t worry, darling. I’ll feed your greed- inch by inch. You’re going to take me and you’re going to show me how much you want me. Is that understood?”
“Yes, sir.” You said meekly, grabbing the sides of the sheets.
“Open.” He commanded and you obliged. He sank himself inside your hot mouth. Slowly at first, savoring the heat and tightness of your lips around him. You twirled your tongue around the best you could given his girth and the restrictions of your head.
“That’s my good little whore,” he praised. His words made you suck harder. It made you want to please him even more. Loki started to dive deeper and deeper towards the back of your throat. The gasping, choking sounds you made only spurred him to go faster.
You squeezed your legs together and held on to the bed beneath you. You were at the mercy of the god who could easily crush you- and it thrilled you. You grabbed a hold of the back of his hips and pushed him further into your throat. Loki whimpered your name and you held onto him tighter, your nails leaving red welts upon his silken skin. Your mouth pulled on his cock harder and he couldn’t stop moaning.
He grabbed the headboard, leaning down for support. His knees had gone weak and his whole body shook with desire. Loki continued to thrust down onto your face, pinning you in between his sharp hips and the firm mattress below. He balled his fists and screamed out your name.
Loki couldn’t take it any longer. His hips thrusted into your tight wet lips. With each pull, with each drag, he would lose a small piece of his sanity- almost bringing him to the brink of his powerful release.
“Stop,” he panted. “Stop!” he commanded himself. He willed himself to stay still. His breath was heavy. His lungs burned. His thick cock was still inside your mouth as he looked down at you.
You had tears running down your red eyes. Sweat plastered tendrils of your hair onto your slick skin. Loki pulled out cautiously and rested his heavy cock on your neck. You took a gasp of air which stung your throat. “You look ruined,” he smiled grabbing your chin and shaking your head left and right.
Loki began crawling backward, dragging his length down your deprived body. Your saliva coating his dick smeared a trail in between your heaving breast and past your navel.
“Still wet, bunny?” He asked as he swiped his fingers in between your pussy. He maneuvered himself in between your legs “I’m going to have fun ruining the rest of your body too.”
“Loki, please…” you continued to beg.
“Awe don’t worry, darling. I know…shh…I know…” he tutted gently. He placed his tip inside your wet folds, stretching you further than his toy did earlier. “Beautiful…” he grunted as he sunk deeper inside of you. Loki watched as you moaned and arched your back. Your beautiful face contorted into a sinful orgasm.
He was close as well. He was edging himself to get there but waiting for you to come again. You felt his thick cock penetrate you completely. “I…don’t know if I can…” you whined in pleasure. You were drained. You didn’t know if you had it in you to give your love another climax.
“Yes, you can. I know you can, pet,” he encouraged. He started drilling faster. Trying to keep his climax on the verge of release. He leaned over you again, trapping your head in between his arms. “I worked this pussy too well. Your next orgasm is mine. Do you understand me?” he grabbed your face to look straight at him. He pushed himself deep into you, “mineee…” he growled onto your quivering lips.
You squeezed around him. Pushing him further and deeper into the haze of bliss. “B-bunny…give it to…fuck…give it to me…” You wrapped your arms around him. Scratches and claw marks littered his back. He reciprocated your passion with bruises from his fingertips and lips.  
You looked down to where you both collided and screamed your release. “…Loki…” The sight of his godly cock entering your tight folds… repeatedly… rhythmically… made you give in to his claim. Your body exploded. You felt weightless and heavy at the same time as you yelled his name with the last breath in your lungs.
Loki soon followed. You could feel his thighs shaking in between your legs. He cried your name in a litany, along with Asgardian phrases and degrading curses.
“Oh, fuck,” he repeated as he continued thrusting inside your slick walls eventually slowing down.  His teeth grazed against your cheek, whispering sordid words and promises you couldn’t understand.
Panting and drained, Loki dismounted and laid next to you in bed. He watched you breathe deeply and lose yourself in post-coital ecstasy. “Love,” he called out to you.
You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t move.
“Love, can you hear me?” he asked amused. You could only nod your head as you closed your eyes and let weariness take you. You felt a warm towel caress your face and wipe the tears from your eyes. He continued in between your legs massaging life back into your muscles. With a snap of his fingers, you felt the sheets beneath you change into cool Egyptian cotton.
“I think I may have driven you too hard tonight, bunny,” he said with chagrin. You shook your head to try and protest, catching his lips in the process.
“More,” you grumbled. “Never enough…” you nuzzled into his neck, letting his steady heartbeat guide you into slumber.
“My greedy girl. How blessed I am to have an insatiable woman,” he laughed.
“I’ll always want you,” you whispered. Loki smiled at your confession as he pulled you closer and wrapped both of you in a plush duvet.
“Rest then, my love. And when you wake, we can talk about more.”
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One-Shot Masterlist | Complete Masterlist
🏷️ @emarich7 @michelleleewise @coldnique @psychospore @lokisgoodgirl @silverfire475 @fictive-sl0th @springdandelixn @wheredafandomat @goldencherriess @peaches1958 @salempoe @thomase1 @kkdvkyya @a-witch-with-words @mischief2sarawr @sarawr-reads @vbecker10 @peachymallow @irishhappiness @cakesandtom @simplyholl @here4thefanfics @tallseaweed @holdmytesseract @immersed-in-mischief @joyful-enchantress @lokisninerealms @kikster606 @glitterylokislut @loz-3 @slytherclaw1227 @chantsdemarins @the-lady-amphitrite @eleniblue @km-ffluv @lokidokieokie @n3rdybirdee @melsunshine @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokischambermaid @cjand10 @asgards-princess-of-mischief
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foulphantomllama · 5 months ago
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My Secret Desire | AESPA Winter x Male Reader
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I decided to post the new chapter today because I was supposed to post something else today. But as you can guess, I did not liked it enough to post it. So enjoy the new chapter!
4. The Package
She send me a pair of her underwear. With a little note on them saying “Make good use of them until i come back and get them.” And she drew a little emoji winking at the end.
But she wasn’t coming over. Neither to school nor my house. She was barely texting me. And when she does, she only makes me horny and disappear completely. I asked about her to one of her friends but they were in it too. I all got for a response was to wait. So I waited. After nearly a week and a half later, my door was knocking. It was her. I looked at the peekhole. I opened the door. She went straight in. Saying nothing. She took off her shoes and jumped to my bed. Getting ready to take a nap. I closed the door and started watching her. After a moment of silence I wanted to check on her. She was sleeping. She literally was gone for nearly two weeks and now she is back sleeping in my room.
But no. This was my time to act. I couldn’t just let her win every time. I sit beside her and woke her up. “What?” she asked me. Her attitude was making me angry. This attitude of her was the main reason I hate her as much as I love her. “What do you mean “What?”!” “You come into my house, crying. You’re not saying a single word. We fuck, you disappear for nearly two weeks. Than you sending me your panties. And after a few days later you appear on my doorstep and pretending none of this happened?” She looked at me. Holding her laugh. “Yes.” She said. Then burst into laughing.
I hold her arms. I mean, I hold them pretty tight. Her laugh was disappearing quickly. She realized that I’m really angry now. But she was not holding back either. “Come on big boy, what do you have in mind?”
I knew her intention. She wants sex again. But no. She needs to know that she does not always get what she wants from me. We fuck when I want to fuck. She grabbed my cock. But my cock was not hard this time. Because I was furious. “Come on, stop resisting. I know you want me.” She was thigtening her grab as she talks to me. I pushed her to the bed. “Okay, now we’re talking.” She said. But the following event was not someting that she would expect. I dressed up, took the keys and locked her inside my apartment. She has no other option to wait for me. My apartment was pretty high up so she couldn’t use the balcony to run away. But also, I had zero worries that she wants to escape. I was confident that she will wait for me. No matter how long I took to come back to my apartment.
I grabbed some ramen from my favourite store. It was just around the corner of my apartment. Then I rented a film from one of the stores that is not far from my apartment. Then I go to my apartment. Opened the door. There she was. Sitting on the toilet without closing the toilets door. “You should at least close the door.” I said to her. She rolled her eyes and answered. “You should be grateful that I did not pissed on to your carpet. You dick.” She was acting just like I imagined she would. “I am hungry. You did get something to eat, right?” I showed her the ramen I bought. “You’re the best boyfriend in the world.” Then she added. “Probably.” I asked her while I put the ramens on the kitchen counter. “What do you mean boyfriend?” She got up and came towards me. “Duh, dude you fucked me and cum into my throat. And I fucking swallowed it. What do you think we are? Study buddies?”
“So, you loved me from the beggining.” I asked. “Both.” She answered. “I fucking love you so much and I hate you so fucking much.” She also said. I can take that. “I love you because you’re the most precious person ever. I hate you because you’re too precious to be real. That you will gone to your own country an forgot about me.”
Her words hurt me a lot. But not in a bad way. I was hurt because I did not see it before. She was never bullying me. She just wanted my attention. Because she was thinking that I will leave her because she was not clever enough. What a bad way to think about yourself. And this was the exact reason I hated her to my guts. She was so hard to get along with. She was meaning the world to me. Yet, whenever I tried to show her this, she accused me by being delusional. Saying she is not enough for me or so. I may be too harsh to say I hated her just for this, trust me this kind of toxicity can kill. But my love for her was always getting the spotlight. It was the same for her too.
“I am so sorry If I ever hurt you with my words. I was never a bully. I just wanted your attention. And you weren’t giving me.” She hit me with your little fist as she talks. I hugged her. “No, I won’t be going anywhere. Not now at least.” She showed me her middle finger. And then she realized the film I rented. She took the dvd and started inspecting it. “I heard that this one is so shit.” She said. “It is pure shit.” I answered. Her response was hilarious, and expected. “Then why the fuck you rented this?” It turns out that this was just the way she communicates. Not exactly helping her with the social life but, kind of makes her hot and cute. Or I was just obsessed with her.
I prepared the ramen and we started eating. “Put the film on.” She said. I put the film on. In under ten minutes our meals were finished. She paused the film and said “Okay let’s agree on something.” I said go on. “If i get bored in the next ten minutes, we fuck. If I don’t we don’t fuck.” I was confused a little. “Why do I get punished for choosing I film that you probably like?” I asked. “Haha. That is how I work, honey.”
She watched that entire film. I can realize that she wasn’t really liked it. But she did it because she wanted to annoy me. But I wanted her. So I started to kiss her neck. “No hickeys.” She said. “My mother will fucking kill me.” Of course I was going to give her a hickey. “If you’re going to give me a hickey just do it on a place my mother wouldn’t be able to see.” She said. I took of her tshirt. I left a hickey on her left shoulder. “Your mother wouldn’t see that, I think.” I said. She mimics me. Then laughs. “You ruined the ending.” She said. “Come on! It was already shit how I could possibly ruined the ending.” I answered. She nodded.
“I’m just going to give you a blowjob, and get the hell out of here. I’m already late. I was gone to buy some rice. My mother still waiting me to bring rice.” She said. “I have an unopened package of rice. You can take it on your way out.” She gave me a thumbs up. Then took off my pyjamas. She was on her knees. She licked my cock over my underwear. Then she took of my underwear. Took my cock inside her mouth. Her mouth was so warm. And I already knew that she is very skilled when it comes to sucking cock. But she was too shy to make eye contact. I did not pushed her to her limits just yet. I just let her give me head peacefully, in her own terms. “Are you going to swallow it again?” I asked. She took it off from her mouth to answer me. “Well, i want to but you bought me a gigantic ramen. I don’t want to throw up the first meal you bought me.” She started sucking it again. I asked her to look into my eyes. She started to look up. She was looking so good with my cock in her mouth. I mean, she was probably the cutest girl I’ve ever seen. And she was my girlfriend.
“I’m going to swallow it.” She said. “Do not pull it out when you’re about to cum.” I pulled my cock out. “What makes you change your mind.” I asked her. “You forgot to buy me beverage. Can I please finish it and go???” “Okay, okay sorry.” I answered. “All yours.” She got faster and faster. Then I came into her mouth. First she showed me her mouth full of my cum. Then she swallowed it and showed me her empty mouth. I pull her closer to me and kissed her lips. “You just kissed your own cum.” She laughed. “But off your mouth.” I answered. “But it makes you gay.” She answered. I looked at her face laughing. “Okay, I’m going. Give me the rice.” I give her the rice I bought the other day. “Hey, mom! I just blowed my boyfriend and he give me a packet of rice.” She was laughing out loud while saying that. “At least you keep the money.” I said.  “You’re so very right sir. Goodbye.” She saluted me and went out the door. I followed her. “No kiss goodbye?” She came closer, I was taller than her. She signalizes me to bow down. I did. She put her middle finger into my mouth. “Here’s your kiss.”
God I love her.
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forever-rogue · 6 months ago
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i saw you wanted tasm Peter requests and I’m here to provide! 😭✨💕
how about a fake dating-ish meet cute where you feel scared walking home bc of some sketchy looking people following you and you grab Peter’s (who lives in the same building as you) hand and ask him to pretend to be your boyfriend and he readily goes along with it bc he’s always had a crush on you. I just think he would be so sweet and worried later when you get home bc you’d looked super scared
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AN | No but I love this idea!! It’s sort of a meet-cute!❤️
Pairing | tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader
Warnings | mild language
Word Count | 2.5k
Masterlist | Main | Peter
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You weren't drunk.
Not drunk-drunk anyway but mildly tipsy. Or wholly tipsy if you were being completely honest with yourself. 
Anyways, that wasn't the problem, at least not entirely. Walking home through New York, late at night and tipsy by yourself, a young woman on her own, probably wasn't the best idea. But the party had dragged on and on and your friends had already left with their…friends for the night, and you were tired, hungry, and bored.
So you decided to walk home. You somehow managed to convince yourself that brisk evening stroll would make you feel better. You hadn't been wrong for the most part but as once you got closer to your apartment building, an uneasy feeling started settling into your stomach. 
You looked around, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, but you could see that there were two guys that seemed to be watching you. You ignored it for a bit, but when you noticed that they seemed to cross every street that you could, and turned all the same corners, you grew worried. 
Trying to keep the panic at bay and act normal proved to be difficult. You thought for a moment that you might have been paranoid or overreacting but you'd seen enough true crime documents to know that it was better to be safe than sorry.
Your salvation came in the form of the man that lived in the apartment across from you. 
You vaguely knew him and were almost positive his name was Peter Parker. You just hoped right now that he'd help. 
Speeding up, you caught up to him a few moments, quickly reaching for his arm and stepping in front of him. 
“Hi, hi,” your eyes were wide and he immediately grew concerned, “I know we don't really know each but we live in the same building, you're actually across the hall from me. I - this is - can you please pretend to be my boyfriend? Just for a little bit? There's these two guys that have been following me for a while now and I'm-”
“It’s okay,” he whispered, gently cutting you off as he instinctively reached for your hand. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted as you laced your fingers through his and fell into step with him, “I'll take care of you.”
You squeezed his arm, “thank you.”
He nodded and turned around a corner to see the men you were referring to. When he spotted the duo that you had to be talking about, he shot them a warning glare. At a few moments, he could see realization cross their features before they seemingly altered their path.
He made sure to keep an eye out on the rest of the way back to the building. Luckily he didn't see them again. He hoped that they hadn't decided to go and find someone else. 
It felt like you could breathe again as you pulled your hand from his and turned to face him. You were taken aback for a moment by how beautiful he was. Sure, you'd been him around the building plenty of times before but you'd never gotten to look at him this closely. 
“Thank you,” your voice was soft - gentle - was you offered him a small smile, “I thought that maybe I was going crazy for a bit and then I kept seeing them. I just didn't want anything to happen. Thank you for probably saving me from them. It's, sorry, you're Peter, right?”
“I am,” he nodded as you offered him your hand for a proper shake and introduction. He said your name and you looked at him in surprise, “we've been neighbors a while and I just…caught it sometime. I'm glad I found you too. Are you sure you're okay?”
“I'm cold, hungry, and slightly buzzed but I'm alright,” you promised, “thanks to you. I swear I owe you big time.”
“You don't owe me anything,” he insisted as he started to shrug off his zip-up sweater. He'd noticed the dress you were wearing and wondered if you'd been cold. He held it out to you, causing you to look at him with sweet eyes, “take it. I don't want you to be cold.”
You already knew better than to argue with him so you gratefully it took and slipped it on, immediately overwhelmed by his delicious scent, “thank you, Peter.”
“Do you want to get something to eat?” He wasn't entirely sure if he'd meant to ask, but it just sort of blurted out, “I-I was thinking about ordering some pizza.”
Liar. He was a damned dirty liar. He hadn't thought about pizza but he also hadn't wanted to let you just leave to go to your apartment. Not now, not yet.
“Yeah?” Your face lit up and he nodded shyly. He'd order the whole pizzeria if you wanted just from that smile alone, “that sounds good.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Realistically, you probably shouldn't have just trusted Peter so readily, especially since you'd just had the run-in with the creeps on your walk home. But there was something about Peter that told you that he was trustworthy. 
So you didn't hesitate to follow him up the stairs to the floor where both of your apartments were. You stopped instinctively at your door and Peter paused for a moment.
“Listen, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything,” you appreciated the fact that he seemed to be able to read your mind, “do you want to meet on the fire escape once the pizza's here?”
“Yeah,” you nodded softly, “I'll see you in a little bit.”
“Sounds good,” he started to open his door but quickly turned around, “wait! I didn't even ask you what kind of pizza you like.”
Your laugh was pretty as you turned and gave him your requests. He offered you a small salute before both of you went into your respective apartments. You closed the door gently and leaned against it, letting out a small sigh.
This evening had definitely taken a turn that you hadn't been expecting. But somehow, it turned out a lot better than you had imagined. Plus, you finally got to really meet and speak to the cute boy next door. He'd caught your eye from the moment he'd moved into the building, but you'd never quite managed to work up the courage to say anything besides the neighborly hello here and there. And now…now you were wearing his sweater and going to have pizza with him.
You almost danced to your bedroom and spent entirely too much time trying to pick out something comfortable but cute. You wanted to be warm and cozy but didn't want to look like you were trying too hard.
You ended up settling on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, but pulled Peter's sweater back on. You wanted to hang onto it for as long as possible. You managed to slide on your slippers as you heard a knock on your door.
“Pull yourself together,” you hissed at your reflection, “and act normal…somewhat normal.”
Slowing your walk to the door, you opened it in an attempt to look casual. Peter had the same idea and had changed into a pair of gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. You almost choked on your spit at the sight. What a bastard.
“Ready for some pizza?” You nodded as you followed him towards the fire escape at the end of the hall. He slid open the window and stepped out, offering you his hand to help you. You didn't hesitate to take his hand, trying not think too much about his large his hand was compared to yours, “nice sweater by the way.”
“You better watch it or I'm going to steal it forever,” Peter really liked the sound of your laugh. He wanted to bottle it up and keep it with him forever. 
“Keep it,” he insisted sweetly, “looks better on you anyway.”
“Stop,” you groaned as you sat down, gently pushing his side, “that's how you get a girl to call in love with you.”
“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow as his cheeks pinked, “is it working then?”
He didn't know why he felt so bold or what had gotten into him but he was feeling something. Maybe it was just your magnetic presence but there was something about you that made him feel so warm and comfortable.
“Peter,” you weren't about to admit that the answer was yes so you just scoffed and rolled your eyes playfully, “I should have said makes all other girls fall in love.”
“Mhmm,” he opened the pizza box and nudged angled it towards you, “dig in. I hope you like it because it's from one of my favorite places.”
“It better be good then or I'm afraid I'll never speak to you again,” you teased, grabbing a slice and taking a big bite. Peter watched you with an amused as you quickly realized that this was indeed delicious pizza. You quickly finished the rest of the slice before offering him a nod, “alright you've passed this test. The pizza is delicious.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“It's getting pretty late,” you said softly as you looked at the softly glowing screen of your phone. It was a lot later than you had realized; the two of you had ended up talking for hours, the pizza all but gone, “we should probably head inside.”
“Yeah,” he agreed reluctantly, “you're right.”
“I had a good time though,” you promised as he nodded shyly, “thanks for saving me tonight…and all of this. It's times like this that remind me that not all people are terrible.”
“It's no problem,” he insisted, “I'm glad I was there when you needed me. I had a good time tonight, regardless of how we got here.”
“Me too,” you offered his shoulder a squeeze before heading back inside and waiting for him to do the same, “I'll see you around, Peter.”
“See you around,” the two of you went into your respective apartments and you quietly shut the door, trying to hold in your sounds of excitement. Your night had taken a complete 180 but you weren't complaining. You'd been wanting to meet the boy for the last couple of years and now that you'd gotten to spend some time with him, you only wanted more.
The question then was - how do you spend more time with Peter Parker without making it obvious you might have fallen in love with him?
You’d figured that out sometime later. Right now you were going to soak all of the good feelings you had into your body as you went to bed.
Little did you know that just across the hall, Peter was doing the exact thing. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You tried to run into Peter after that evening whenever you could. You would slowly leave for work in the morning and then take your sweet time coming home in the hopes that you would run into him somewhere in the building. But over the next couple of weeks, you managed to have no luck. It suddenly seemed like he had an opposite schedule of yours. For a moment you wondered if it was on purpose, but you knew that he wouldn’t do that.
Peter was hoping for the same thing; work and his…extracurricular activities kept him busier than ever. He had to be at the lab early in the mornings and often wasn’t coming home till the midnights hours. There were a few times when he’d contemplated knocking on your door, even if he just got to see your pretty face for a few moments. But he didn’t want to disturb you so he kept on waiting for the right moment to see you again. 
It turned out that the right moment happened to be when you were getting ready to go out with some friends one evening and Peter was coming home, looking run down and tired. His face and entire being lit up at the sight of you. Your heart was beating so fast that you were sure that he would be able to hear it (unbeknownst to you, he definitely heard it) or it would burst out of your chest. 
“Hey-”
“Hi-” the two of you spoke at the same time before looking at each other sheepishly. You felt like your entire face was on fire as you looked at your feet for a moment to study your nerves, “hey Peter. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
“I know,” he tried to contain his excitement when he realized that you had been missing him as well, “I can’t believe our luck. For years we saw each other all the time and now…nothing. Kind of feels like the universe is laughing at us.”
“I thought about coming over,” you admittedly sheepishly, “but I didn’t want to bug you. I wasn’t sure how you late you were working or…yeah.”
“I thought about the same thing,” he confessed as you grinned at him, “but I’ve been working longer hours so I’d get home late and didn’t want to bother you.”
“You wouldn’t have been a bother,” you shrugged it off, trying to make it seem like no big deal when in fact it was a huge deal.
“Good to know,” he huffed a small laugh before clearing his throat, “I should, ugh, let you go. I don’t want to keep you from your date or whatever plans you have.”
“It’s not a date,” you said quickly, wanting to shut that train of thinking down right away, “I was just going to meet a few friends for dinner and drinks.”
“Cool,” he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t relieved to hear that, “I hope you have fun.”
“Unless you’re not busy and want to get dinner,” you only had a bit of courage left as you got the words, wondering how he’d react, “like together I mean.”
“I’m not busy, I’m free,” his stomach felt like it was doing backflips, “but are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’ll just text my friends,” you waved your hand dismissively as you pulled out your phone, “they won’t mind. Trust me.”
They really wouldn’t. They’d been hoping and rooting for you to get with the pretty boy next door for some time now. 
“Cool,” that was an understatement, “let me just go and change and then we can go. I’ll come to yours in a few minutes.
“Okay,” you breathed nervously, unable to hide the smile on your face.
“Okay,” he agreed softly, his eyes and smile big and pretty, “luckily this time it’ll only be a few minutes and not weeks.”
“It was too long.”
“Definitely.”
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madamechrissy · 5 days ago
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Gojo can't stop thinking about fucking Geto's girl
MDNI- Explicit Yandere Gojo jerks off thinking about you, Geto's girlfriend, yandere Suguru decides he'll share you once. Warnings: (yandere Geto and Gojo vibes, oral sex -f recieving, weed smoking, them being slutty lmao)
Part One Part Two
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Part Three
Suguru Geto is inhaling a joint, blowing the smoke out as Satoru hungrily devours you with his azure gaze, you're now just in a lacy black bra and panties, he drinks in every bit of your curves, your lines, your skin. Fuck you're perfect and Suguru just gets to have you, all to himself!? That's just not going to work, he'll have you see by the time he's done with you.
How many nights has he imagined being between your thighs?
Suguru hands you the joint now, and you take it carefully, inhaling lightly looking at Satoru then. "Blow it in his mouth, Princess."
You look a little shy, aren't you cute? You nervously take another hit, stepping up to him, and he leans down, cupping the back of your neck, your lips meeting. And when your lips met in that car, it took everything for Satoru not to devour you then, he's sure by the end of this Suguru may kill him.
Worth it though.
You're blowing weed smoke into his mouth, and he's sucking it down his throat, feeling it warm and foggy, expanding into his lungs. He leans back, exhaling, and you exhale too, before running your hands on his dress shirt, slowly. He notices your own gaze drinking him in, your beautiful eyes dilating from the hit, from desire, you're licking your lip, tempting him to no end.
"So, we doing a threesome or you just letting me fuck her?" Satoru asks, and Suguru chuckles again, taking the joint back and inhaling deep, coming to stand behind you, kissing down your neck, down your shoulder. Satoru pictures his lips there, his lips everywhere, stepping in front of you, pressing you between them both.
"How about you fuck her, I'll tell you what she likes, then we'll do one if you can make her cum enough." Suguru brushes your hair back now, exposing your delicate collar bone, more of your pretty breasts, Satoru is throbbing now.
He smirks. "If I can? You challenging me, Sugu?"
"Maybe I am." He says with a glint in his eyes, and now Satoru is trailing a hand down your cheek, tilting your chin up, sliding his other across the side of your breast, making you cry out so sexy. He watches your nipples perk up in your bra.
"I'll make her cum so much she'll be crying." Satoru says then, and your breath catches at his tone, Suguru's big hands are trailing down your body, down your back, pressing into the dimples above your ass, making your breath catch.
"She's pretty when she cries." Suguru whispers, putting his joint out now, unsnapping your bra then, letting it fall to the floor, for Satoru's hungry azure gaze to drink you in, his snowy lashes lowering, full lips parted.
"Oh fuck, even more perfect in person." Satoru's gripping your breasts, as you're pressed between both of them, the familiar hands of Suguru on your waist, the new hands of Satoru squishing your breasts now. You cry out, head falling to the side for Suguru's kisses, then Satoru is kissing you once more, devouring your lips.
"Feel how wet she is, Satoru." Suguru says, and you know then they've done this before, they bounce off each other like a yin and yang, Suguru is running circles on your clit, the damp panties clinging to your pussy lips. You're shifting, heart pounding in your ears. "Want Satoru to touch you, princess?"
You nod weakly.
"Use your words." They say, simultaneously, your moth drops open, while Satoru is slipping your panties down his thighs.
"You two are ridiculous. Mmm!" Suguru is rubbing circles on your clit, Satoru has slid a finger in your soppy entrance. You're clinging to Satoru's strong arms, leaning back on Suguru's strong body.
"Is she talking shit, Sugu?" Satoru huffs, as you weakly whine out, he's fucking into you so good with that long finger. "Fuck, you're so wet baby."
"Stupid wet. Slutty little pussy." Suguru huffs those words now, and they do nothing but make you wetter.
"You're both slutty." You whisper, earning their deep chuckles, both sets of hands all over every inch of you they can touch, big hands taking over your waist, your breasts, while their other hands focus on your pussy. It's as if they telepathically know where to press, where to push, to make you a dripping mess. "Fuck."
"Lemme taste her."
"You'll get addicted." Suguru warns, Satoru slides his fingers out, sucking you off him now, he moans as his cheeks hollow, Suguru shoves his two fingers in now, and you're gushing down them.
"Oh my fuck... Let me eat her out." He whispers, mad look in his eyes now, so intense it's difficult to look at, they're both so all over you it's hard to breathe, their scents mixing with the sweet arousal in the room.
"Come on, Princess. Be a good girl for him?" You nod shyly now, how can you not be a little shy when your gorgeous boyfriend and his gorgeous best friend want to share you. Suguru sits down on the couch now, re lighting up his joint, as Satoru comes to spread your thighs, and he hands it to Satoru with a smirk.
"You're not really gonna blow smoke on it!" You say with wide eyes, and they laugh at you again, like you're their little toy.
"Just sit back, pretty." Satoru says, Suguru has your thighs held up, wrapping an arm around your waist and gripping a breast, Satoru takes a deep hit, sucking up thick smoke, then he's holding your puffy lips apart, blowing that smoke on your pussy, you gasp at the insane sensations, shaking your thighs, cumming just from that, and Satoru moans as he watches you. "Fuck you're pretty."
"Beautiful, isn't she." Suguru agrees, taking the joint back, another hit in his lungs, he grips your chin and blows in your mouth, you suck in the hit, making you lightheaded and fuzzy, then Satoru Gojo's flicking his wet tongue on your clit.
"Mmm!" You cry out as Suguru's sliding his tongue in and out of your mouth, pinching your nipple, and Satoru's lavishing your little clit, which twitches under the caress. Suguru turns your face gently, one of your hands are gripping Satoru's silky white hair, the other clutching Suguru's thigh.
"Look how much he loves your pussy, hmm?" Suguru says, his words tickling your ear, you're soaking Satoru's pretty face, he is looking at you with those insane eyes, lapping you up, until you're about to cum again, your pussy drooling all over. He's drinking you up, his big hands pressing into your hips, holding you there. Your head falls back, eyes fluttering shit, feeling so good you can't take it.
"Oh my... f-fuck!" You scream out, cumming all over Satoru again, pussy clenching around nothing, arousal dripping down Suguru's thighs and Satoru's chin. He peeks up at you, smirking, his chin covered in you, licking his lips as he stares at you from between your thighs.
"I think she likes you, Satoru, even if you're a psycho." Suguru says, kissing down your neck, biting hard, causing pain to prick you, but it only enhances how good you fucking feel, letting out a hoarse moan.
"Suguru, you act as if you didn't stalk her on IG first." You blink a bit, looking at Suguru, who's glaring.
"Fuck you, Satoru. No more. My turn." They switch places, now Satoru is behind you, holding your thighs up, hand wrapping your throat. "You can't choke her if she doesn't want."
"Wait, you both stalk me!?" You demand, they just laugh softly, then Suguru's tongue ring is hitting your clit, and Satoru's whispering in your ear, his long fingers pressing against your throat.
"Just sit here and be pretty. Pretty neck, want me to choke you?" He asks, you want to be affronted, want to tell him he's a dick, and Suguru's flicking his tongue on your clit again, violet eyes glittering. But you can't stand it, you feel too fucking good, so you just nod weakly, and Satoru moans softly. "Good Girl, we're gonna have so much fun with you."
Your heart is pounding in your ears when Satoru's hand tightens on your throat, and Suguru's fingers slip in you, you wonder what you're in for.
Comment for pt 4 aha, lmk if you wanna get tagged!
Taglist: @kakashixhatakesxwhore @sweetthingssourpeople @sylussss7 @teacupwaifu @nanasukii28 @haruhatake @bunheadusa @inthedarkshadows000 @cybernutbasement @aldebrana @queenkrul @megamumi @morikasan @melancholyyme @victoria1676 @seeing-stars-alt @73923 @misshat
Full Gojo fics of mine: Cruel Duke Gojo story here - Sweet Lawyer Gojo here -Psycho Yandere Gojo here - Cocky CEO Gojo here - Gojo Drabbles
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achilles-rage · 3 months ago
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Eager to Please
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summary: buck has had you on edge all day, and when you finally get back to his place, it's time for your reward
word count: 2.7k
request: Could you write Buck being a munch with fem reader? I feel like he’s definitely eager to please and it would turn him on majorly
A/N: i am a munch!buck truther first and a person second. thank you to the person that requested this, it was fun! enjoy<33
warnings: smut, no use of y/n, plus size!reader, fem!reader, race inclusive!reader
MDNI- 18+ only!
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You never knew it was possible for a man to be so eager to please until you met Evan Buckley. Sure, guys might go down on you sometimes, but you can always feel the clear difference between wanting to do it, and feeling obligated.
Evan Buckley was not one of those men; he would spend hours with his mouth latched to your clit, adding his fingers every now and then to really make you scream.
You first noticed the first time you had sex. He was quick to strip you of your clothes, and then he laid you down on his bed with a hungry look in his eyes. He insisted that he wanted to watch you fall apart on his tongue before he even thought about fucking you, and you knew you were done for.
Today, he’s been teasing you since you both woke up; bringing you in for a hot kiss as you lay beside him, running his hands along your curves and down to your pubic bone, but never quite to where you want him. He gets up abruptly when he hears his phone ring, and the dejected look on your face has his mind racing with ideas.
It’s one of those rare days that you both have off, and he decides to take full advantage of it. First, he makes you breakfast, making sure to keep his chest and back bare so you could take it in. He’s always known how much you like his chest, and his tummy, and his broad back, so he uses this to his advantage. He sees the look of desire in your eyes as he sets your plate down in front of you and smirks to himself, knowing his plan is already working.
After breakfast, he tells you that he wants to take you out for the day. He brings you to the mall first, then to get coffee at a small café, then for a walk along the boardwalk, then out for an early dinner at a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try for ages. He makes sure to keep his hands on you the entire time. They’re just innocent touches: on the small of your back to guide you, on your waist as you look out at the ocean, rubbing his thumb along the back of your hand as you walk. But it’s enough.
By the time you get to the restaurant, you’re aching for him. He’s wearing a shirt that stretches tightly across his chest and arms, and your eyes have been wandering down to his biceps all day. He keeps giving you those eyes at the restaurant, making you bite your lip as his eyes trail down your plush figure.
By the time both get into his jeep, your mind is so clouded with desire that his hand on your upper thigh makes you spread your legs instinctively. You don’t even notice at first, but Buck does. He smirks to himself and keeps his hand on you the entire way home, moving up an inch or two every few minutes, which keeps you on edge.
By the time you’re home, you’re speed walking to the door, ready to pounce on him the second you’re both inside his apartment.
He chuckles when you finally launch yourself at him, returning your hungry kiss slowly, keeping his hands on your cheeks to guide you.
“Slower.” he whispers against your lips. He pulls your head away for a second to force you to stop, then leans back in, moving his lips slowly against yours to make you match his pace. It takes a few more whispers, but you finally move at the same speed as him, keeping your hands wrapped around his wrists as you push against him.
“God, you’re gorgeous.” he mumbles against your lips, tutting softly as your hands claw at his shirt, desperate for more of him.
“You’ve been so good all day, waiting so patiently. Think you deserve a reward.” he tells you in a gentle tone, looking down at your blown pupils and heaving chest. He chuckles when you nod eagerly, a breathy whimper escaping your lips.
He picks you up in one swift motion, fingers digging into the back of your thick thighs as he makes his way to the kitchen counter. You’re so needy for him; he doesn’t think you can wait any longer, but neither can he.
Once you’re on the counter, he pulls your panties down your legs, tossing them carelessly behind him, and lifts your dress up around your waist. He leans down and his lips cover your inner thighs with featherlight kisses, working his way slowly up to your dripping core while his arms loop around your thighs. He almost loves this as much as actually being able to taste you; he loves seeing how whiny and needy you get for his mouth.
Your hands are gripping the counter hard as you watch him move closer to where you want him the most, and it’s not until you let out a breathy “Buck, please” that he finally ducks down to your heat, licking a firm strip through your folds. You whine softly at the contact, and throw your head back when he buries his face into your slick, beginning to lick and suck urgently.
One of your hands moves to his hair as his lips wrap around your clit, and you whine loudly, which makes him chuckle against you. The vibrations add to the pleasure, and a string of “yes, yes, yes” make their way out of your mouth.
He unloops one of his arms and trails it up your plush tummy to your breast under your dress, which makes you lay back on the counter, and when he squeezes your breast roughly over your bra, you arch your back. His hand continues to explore your soft curves, ghosting over stretch marks and scars littered across your body, and he moans at the feeling. He loves having you like this; moaning and writhing underneath him as your arousal drips down his chin.
He darts his tongue in and out of your desperate hole as soft whimpers escape your throat, fingers pulling on his hair slightly. He groans as you pull his hair particularly hard, and he knows you’re getting close. He wants to make you come at least once with just his tongue before he uses his fingers, so he continues, spelling his name and circling your clit with his tongue as he sucks gently.
“You gonna come for me, baby?” he murmurs against your folds, and smiles as you nod quickly, a soft “please” escaping your lips. “Come for me, pretty girl. Let me taste you.”
His words are all it takes for you to fall over the edge, your other hand moving to the back of his head as he continues his attack on your core, working you through your orgasm and lapping up all of your juices.
He slows his movements, and finally pulls his head away to look up at your face. He smirks as he sees you panting, head tilted back slightly as you come down from your high with hooded eyes.
He barely gives you a minute to recover before he pulls you into a sitting position and picks you up again, your panties left to find later as he brings you upstairs.
He sets you down on the bed, your head landing on his pillow, and then he pulls away just long enough to rid himself of his pants and shirt. You sit up on your elbows as you watch him, mouth watering as your eyes dart to the tent in his boxers, but he’s not even thinking about himself right now.
He’s back on you quickly, finally pulling your dress off before he kisses down your neck to your chest, hips grinding against yours as his lips move. He slides down you slowly, making sure to stop at your tummy as he presses hungry kisses across your skin, his lips and tongue ghosting over stretch marks as he goes.
He finally brings his head between your thighs again, his dick twitching as it makes contact with the bed beneath him.
He doesn’t tease you this time, instead, he nuzzles into your warm cunt, nose nudging your clit as his tongue works its way through your folds again. You let out a loud whimper at the feeling of his nose, and your hands grip the sheets in an attempt to ground yourself.
You’ve just barely come down from your high, and the way he’s working your center has you squirming against his grip on your thighs.
He pulls away just long enough to push two fingers into you, moving in and out a few times before he curls his fingers upwards. You’re practically seeing stars at this point, and you can barely get any words out except incoherent babbling. His tongue is back on you, sucking and nipping at your sensitive clit, and you can’t help but buck your hips as he quickens the pace.
You’re too distracted to notice, but he’s started to grind his hips against the mattress below him, his low groans sending vibrations up your spine and making you shudder and whimper. His length is achingly hard as he ruts against the bed, but he keeps his focus on the way you taste, and the way you mumble his name like a prayer.
It’s not long before you’re coming again with a loud cry, and he continues to hit that spot with his fingers as you squirm and whimper for him.
Feeling you clenching around his fingers is all it takes for him to let go as well, hot come filling his boxers as he continues to rut against the mattress. He mumbles a quick “good girl” against you, reveling in your juices covering his face, dripping down onto the sheets as he tries to lick you clean.
He moves back up your body until his head is leveled with yours, leaving soft kisses along your hot skin as he does.
“You like that, baby?” he murmurs once he makes eye contact with you, licking his lips as he takes in your blissed out state. He leans down to kiss you softly, and you moan against his mouth as you taste yourself on his tongue.
“Wanna try something.” he whispers against your lips. He pulls back and urges you up onto your knees. He then lays on the bed where you had just been, with his head on the pillow.
Your eyes travel down to the wet spot on his boxers, and you bite your lip. You fight back a moan at the thought that he was so turned on by your pleasure, that he came without you even touching him.
You look back up into his eyes, brows furrowed as you whisper a quiet “what?”
“Just come up here. Want you to sit on my face.” he tells you with a smirk, one hand still in yours as he pulls you up to him. You bite your lip nervously, but let him pull you up.
Honestly, you’re a little surprised he’s never asked before, and although you’re a little nervous, the idea excites you.
“Right now?” you ask in slight disbelief. Your legs still feel weak at your previous orgasms, and you really don’t think you can do another.
“Of course. Come on, pretty girl. Let me feel you.” he purrs, eyes trailing down to your pulsing core as you oblige. You’re kneeling beside his head, and he pats one of your thighs, urging you to swing it over his head.
You sigh, hesitating for a moment before you finally do what he wants. His arms are quick to loop around your thighs, growling softly as he sees that you’re not lowering yourself down onto his awaiting mouth.
“All the way down, baby. Come here.” he tells you sternly, and when you don’t immediately do it, he pulls you down harshly.
You let out a soft moan as his tongue makes its way through your folds again, and you tilt your head back. You’re still sensitive from him, so you grip his headboard tightly as your hips squirm slightly, which makes him tighten his grip on your thighs.
He can barely breathe, but he doesn’t care, he thinks this is the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Your thick thighs draped across his head, your dripping heat against his tongue. He can just see your head over your plush tummy, and he groans at the sight. He loves your tummy, and if he weren’t so preoccupied, his hands would be touching and squeezing the flesh with his fingers.
You can’t help but buck your hips against his mouth, of both overstimulation and intense pleasure, and he groans as he feels your weight on him. He bucks his hips up as he sucks on your clit, already growing hard again as he pulls louder and louder whines and moans from your pretty lips.
As your third high approaches, you feel yourself trying to pull away from his mouth, the overstimulation becoming overwhelming. Your hands have moved from his headboard to his hair, and you try to pull his head away from your slick folds with a soft “too much.”
He shakes his head as much as he can, growling as he holds you down firmly. He moves his tongue faster in and out of your desperate hole, once again using his nose to nudge at your clit.
With a few more thrusts of his tongue, you’re coming so hard that you can barely see. Your body goes taut as you come on his tongue yet again, and your hands are firmly weaved through his hair, keeping his head in place as he slows his tongue.
He pats your thighs gently once he’s worked you through your orgasm, silently telling you to raise your hips. You oblige and swing one leg back over his head, then collapse onto the bed beside him, breathing heavily.
He moves so he’s lying beside you, pressing soft kisses to your forehead, then your cheek, then your collarbone. He pulls you so you’re lying on your side beside him, resting your cheek against his chest as he stays on his back.
“Is that it?” you ask through shaky breaths, and he raises a brow with a small smirk.
“Was three not enough?” he asks in slight disbelief, but his eyes cloud with desire again at the idea of making you fall over the edge for a fourth time. You shake your head, closing your eyes for a moment.
“What about you?” you ask in a soft voice, struggling to keep your eyes open. It’s his turn to shake his head, and he shushes you softly.
“I don’t need anything, baby. Watching you was enough. And I already took care of myself.” He finishes with a soft chuckle, and you bite your lip as you remember that he had come in his boxers already.
You nod, breathing finally going back to normal as you rest against him, listening to his heartbeat. He kisses the top of your head as you lay there, his thumb gently rubbing circles on your shoulder as he keeps his arm around your shoulder.
After a few minutes, he breaks the silence, looking down at the top of your head.
“You wanna have a bath?” His voice is just above a whisper, and you smile softly as you raise your head to look up at him.
“Yes please.” you whisper back, your cheeks growing hot at the idea, as if a bath is the most intimate thing you have done today.
He leads you to the bathroom, and strips your bra from your body as the bath fills up. He guides you in to sit back against his chest, and he wraps his arms around your waist, sighing happily.
He may love watching you fall apart on his tongue, but he loves this just as much. Sitting in silence and holding you close as the warm water soothes your muscles and makes your eyes grow heavy.
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notes: likes/comments/reblogs would be much appreciated if you liked this<33
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yanderefarm · 7 days ago
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I need me a silivan request, like vampire reader is at one of those vampires parties, silvan was sitting on reader’s lap all dolled and pretty, and then one of a high statue vampire would be memrized by silivan and would ask reader to buy silivan fron him, and at that time reader was getting confused by his feeling, he got attached to his pet, and acted jealous on the other vampire.
cw;; dehumanization, fluff,
this is such a cute idea. thats your pet!!!
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this was your first party with silvan as your pet after centuries of seemingly looking down on the practice of pet humans. you still weren't sure about keeping him, he seemed fragile and delicate and stupid. even now at a party where he should be passed around and adored by every hungry horny vampire in the place he was clinging to you. his little hand gripped the back of your shirt tightly like a child afraid of getting lost. was it cute? maybe.
you decided to be generous to the frightened human and grant him permission to sit with you while you talked about work. he sat in the chair next to you and you pulled him back up immediately.
"humans don't sit there."
"im sorry... where do i sit, sir?"
that's how he ended up in your lap. it attracted many eyes to you but they still kept to themselves. they were smart.
the bold idiot who approached you wasn't.
you were minding your own business when this fool came up to you. you recognized him as someone who had recently came into ownership of a large human farm, he was still only a baron though. he smiled at you and then even wider at the pretty thing on your lap.
"did you get a pet, my lord?"
you let out a heavy sigh. "i haven't decided yet."
"how much would you sell it for?" the other vampire reached out and grabbed one of silvan's curls. silvan tried his best not to move but he pulled back into your chest slightly.
".... i don't know."
"it looks pretty high quality! where did you get it?"
this guy's voice was uniquely grating on your nerves. how he kept referring to silvan as an it, how he looked at him like an object. there was this feeling in your stomach that he wasn't just seeing silvan as an object but as an object that would increase his own value. he didn't even like silvan properly! he only cared because silvan was with you.
"i had him bred specifically to be beautiful. if he were for sale I'm sure he would be worth more than anything you own."
you could tell you hurt his pride with that. "that's... I'll have you know I've come into a lot of wealth recently, my lord!"
"oh?" you feigned ignorance. "oh i did hear about you acquiring some land."
"the 5th largest farm in your territory and 3rd in quality." he puffed out his chest in pride. like you don't own number one on both of those lists. god this guy is annoying.
"then you can have him if i can have that." you smiled smugly watching his face immediately falter.
"h-huh? but that's..."
"you don't want my specially bred pet?"
"he-he's certainly beautiful!! if-if you get into the breeding market you should let me know first thing!!!" he scurried off.
you hugged silvan's small frame tight against your body without thinking, wrapping yourself around him like a protective blanket. the silver haired boy was blushing in your arms his entire face red while you were pouting.
"sir... are.. am i.. yours..?" silvan asked tepidly his voice just loud enough for you to hear.
you felt his warmth from his embarrassment seeping into your body and you held him even tighter. your cold heart yearned to beat.
"yes. you're mine. no one else can have you."
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imaginaryf1shots · 3 months ago
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Good Enough | Fernando Alonso
WC: 1.7K
Fernando x GF!Reader
Summery: "I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love me." + "Am I interrupting something?" "No." "Yes."
Warning: Self doubt, insecurities
Part of the 1K Celebration
Masterlist
Fernando Masterlist
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This wasn't the plan, it just kind of happened, how did you get here? That's the million dollar question. You're just a normal girl, living a normal life, working a normal job in retail. But somehow, somewhere you met Fernando, and asked you out on a date, you said yes. I mean who wouldn't. You found out who he is a couple of dates in and told yourself that it wasn't a big deal. Since then you've been having this feeling that maybe it's best you end the relationship now. Yet every time you see him, you can't bring yourself to do it. You tried to do it over the phone and even that failed, just hearing him call you amor or princesa was enough for you to change your mind. For a moment. So here you are now, happy when you're with him but unhappy the moment you get a moment to think too much.
Fernando is a loving guy, he's had many relationships in his life. The feeling he got when he first saw you was different from what he's felt before. It's more intense, more consuming, more... forever? He feels like you're in an endgame and maybe the relationship is too new for him to say that but he's old enough to know what's real and what he's made up in his mind. And when Fernando loves, he really loves, he just wants to take care of you, love you and never see you sad.
So you can understand why seeing you frown as you were alone waiting for him to come back from the bathroom in the restaurant, makes his heart clench. The switch that happens when your eyes fall on him is startling. The smile looks genuine, real.
"Are you alright?" Fernando asked once he's back sitting in front of you, you raise an eyebrow in question, confused. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, why?" You take a sip from your drink, Fernando shrugs.
"Just making sure." You take his hand and give it a squeeze, he knows you're not telling the truth but decides to just let it go for now. Maybe it's a one time thing, or he's thinking too much about it.
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"- and then I told her it was not happening." You and Fernando laugh as you finish telling him a story about one of your customers. You're at his house enjoying a day in, having the complete privacy to be yourselves. Just relaxing, in your lounge clothes, the movie you had on the TV paused as you started talking mid-way through it. The doorbell rings, bringing the moment to an end.
"Must be the food." Fernando says and goes to open the door. You lean back in the sofa and sigh, feeling happy, before your thoughts take the usual turn and it begins to wonder, Fernando and you are still private, and rightfully so, your relationship is still young. But it didn't stop the dread that always creeps in when you're least expecting it, as if your relationship that barely just started is about to end, like it's inevitable. You bit your bottom lip and your brows quirk a bit.
"y/n." You look and see Fernando frowning as he looks at you.
"Yes." You answer with a smile, all your thoughts are gone right now, you're back to your happy self. Fernando was calling you for a while before you heard him, he placed the food on the coffee table. “I was calling you."
“Sorry, I was lost in thought." You said and opened the bags taking the food out, setting it down. "This smells so good."
Fernando sits next to you and stops your hands from moving, taking them in his, you look up confused. "What's up?"
"Are you okay?" Fernando asks, taking every part of you in.
"Yeah, I'm alright, super hungry though." You give him one of your smiles that melts his heart and confuses him at the same time.
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Fernando finally manages to convince you to go to a race with him, it took him a long time for you to agree to let him fly you out, you'll be staying in his hotel room so no extra cost there. Just the cost for the flight had you worried. But Fernando is persistent, when he wants something he sure does everything he can to get it.
The hotel Aston Martin booked in for the week had most of the grid booked in. It was filled with drivers, wherever you turned you saw one, it was all so new to you, so you stuck with Fernando the whole time, as much as you could anyway.
It was Thursday night, you and Fernando were back from a team dinner. In the lobby he was pulled to the side by a team member, you sat on one of the comfy chairs they had placed there. Looking around at the lavish hotel, it makes you feel even worse. You're not made for this lifestyle, it was hard getting two days off to come to the race, and it'll only become harder. But how can the relationship develop more if you don't meet.
"Amor." Fernando sits next to you, you blink and look at him, seeing the look on his face, your smile that you just plastered falls.
"What? Is something wrong?"
"Yes."
"What? What's wrong? Did something happen." Your eyes are filled with worry, as you take the man you're grown attached to with attentive eyes, your heart dropped, thinking that maybe you were right after all, and that Fernando also agrees with it, and that he's about to break up with you. he too thinks that you're not good enough, that you're merely a-
"You tell me." You blink at his words confused, as he brings you out of your thoughts, did you miss something he said?
"W-What?"
"You tell me what's wrong." Fernando explains and you grow even more perplexed.
"Nando." You say dragging the 'O' a bit. "I don't understand."
"You're upset." He says simply.
"No, I'm not." You say with a bit of agitation in your voice.
"Amor, I see when you're sitting alone, you're always frowning. Something is bothering you and you've been hiding it from me." Fernando says and it dawns on you, he's talking about all the times you got lost in thought. Guilt starts eating at you, here he is caring about you and you're thinking about him leaving you. Maybe you should leave him, you're already causing trouble and it's not even a year yet. "y/n, please, just talk to me."
"I'm sorry." Your voice sounds so small even to your ears, tears gather in your eyes, Fernando sighs and pulls on your hands, wanting to bring you close.
"I don't want you to apologise, I just want to know what's wrong, so I can help you." Fernando whispers and you open your mouth ready to say that nothing is wrong. "Don't just say what you think I want to hear, tell me the truth, what you're really feeling."
"Nando." You mumble his tone and look up at him, your shoulders sagging, your lips quiver, Fernando cups your face, his hand providing you with comfort that you desperately needed right now.
"Come on." He pulls you up, and looks around before he pulls you into the emergency stairwell, where you'll have more privacy. "Now please just tell me."
"I uh, I just, I don't." You try to say but the words aren't coming out, Fernando gives your hand a squeeze, taking a deep breath you say. "I just feel like maybe you're better off with someone else, like maybe- no, I know I'm not good enough for you, that you'll get bored of me easily, I haven't lived the life you did, haven't done half of what you've done, I've barely been out of the country. It all scares me."
"Why does it scare you?" Fernando lets you say what you want then he'll circle back and talk you through all your thoughts.
"I'm scared because I like you, and I'm getting more attached to you, and when you leave me I'll be alone." You mumble your eyes not meeting his as you expose your inner thoughts to him, the thoughts that have been plaguing your thoughts for so long.
"And believe me when I say, I'm also very attached to you." Fernando says pointedly, he hates the thought of you doubting him, doubting this relationship. It kills him inside, he thought you had a good thing going on. "I find you incredibly smart, sweet, the kindest person I have ever met and unbelievably attractive."
"But-"
"I'm not done yet." Fernando says and puts a finger on your lips to stop you from talking. "Have I done anything that would make you believe I don't care about you?" You shake your head no. "Have I said anything?" Again no. "Okay so that means I feel like we're a good fit, y/n, amor, please believe me when I say I don't care, I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love me... do you?"
"What?" Your eyes are wide as you stare at Fernando, you've moved closer, when? You don't know. You're both standing chest to chest, only a small space between the two of you.
"Do you love me? Like I love you." Your eyes welled up and you nod.
"Yes, I love you so much Fernando, so much." You say and Fernando smiles before he leans in and presses his lips to yours. You gasp which gives him access to your mouth, you moan lightly and wrap your arms around his neck. Just as you were getting more into it the door opened and you both pulled away, if it wasn't obvious what was going on the blush on your face is a clear indication.
"Sorry, am I interrupting something?" A smirking Lewis says.
"No." "Yes." You and Fernando say at the same time, you look at each other before you look back at the Mercedes driver.
"Well, since this one is occupied I'll go find another one." Lewis says and it's only then that you notice he has a woman with him, he sends you both one last knowing and smug look before he leaves.
"That was... something." You say and run your hand through your hair, trying to gather yourself.
"It was, don't bother with your hair, it'll only get wilder." Fernando said and pulled you out of the stairwell and to the elevator, his hands were all over you. By the time you reach your room, you're a giggling, hot mess.
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caitified · 8 days ago
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meeting caity at a gay bar in indy while she’s trying to be dl???? smut???
nobody knows
caitlin clark x reader
warnings: part one, there will be a smut part 2 this is just the build up. NOT PROOF READ
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you’re sipping on your drink, comfortably settled against the bar, when you catch her glancing your way. she’s gorgeous, no doubt about it. she isn’t your usual type, but something is drawing you to her. luckily, she feels the same. there’s a slight hesitation in her step, but something compels her forward, bringing her closer until she’s only a couple of feet away.
she’s trying to play it cool, but there’s a subtle nervousness in her eyes as she leans in, voice low, like she’s hoping no one else will hear. “hey,” she says, glancing around the room, “do you… come here often?”
you give her a once-over, intrigued by her nervous nature. “only every now and then. but i think i’d remember if i’d seen you here before.” you smile, watching her cheeks flush as she ducks her head for a second.
she shifts, looking down at her drink. “i’m kind of new to this scene… well, not exactly new, just…” she falters, and you can tell there’s a story behind her words, something she’s holding back.
you tilt your head, encouraging her without pushing. “i get it. this place isn’t for everyone. takes a certain level of comfort to be here.”
her eyes dart up, and she gives you a faint smile. “yeah, i’m working on that.”
for a moment, she just stares at you, lips parted like she’s about to say something, then stops. finally, she says, “you probably know who i am, don’t you?”
“maybe,” you reply, giving her a teasing grin. “i’ll keep your secret safe, though.”
her shoulders visibly relax at that, and she steps a little closer, her gaze flickering over you like she’s taking you in properly for the first time. “thanks. i… i don’t usually do this. i have a boyfriend, actually.”
there’s something in her tone that makes you think she’s explaining it as much to herself as she is to you. you nod, not wanting to push her, but there’s undeniable tension between you two — a tension she’s clearly fighting against but failing.
“fair enough,” you say softly, not stepping back, just letting her linger in your space. “i won’t judge if you just want some company tonight. whatever that means.”
she bites her lip, hesitating, and you can almost see her weighing out her options in her mind. but then, something in her shifts, as if she’s decided to let go of the weight of those thoughts, at least for tonight.
“maybe i don’t want to just stay here tonight,” she murmurs, voice barely above a whisper.
your heart skips a beat, but you keep your cool, nodding. “then let’s get out of here.”
she follows you outside, the air wrapping around you both as you step out of the bar. you walk side by side in silence, and finally, she looks over at you, her guard completely down for the first time. she reaches for your hand, squeezing it, almost like she needs the reassurance.
you smile, giving her fingers a soft squeeze back. she’s still nervous, but you can feel her growing comfort as you make your way back to your place, anticipation building between you two.
once inside, the tension is almost unbearable. she hesitates for a fraction of a second before finally closing the distance between you, her lips capturing yours in a kiss that’s both hesitant and hungry. you feel her let go, surrendering to this moment she’s been trying to fight……
to be continued…if you want this to go a certain way or have certain things involved, let me know.
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