#and then also CONSTANTLY hearing about how fucking hard it is to actually consistently get

[blujayonthewing]

people on the internet every single day: I got diagnosed with adhd and I'm on meds and holy shit I feel like I'm a functional person for the very first time in my entire life, this is incredible, I'm crying

me: god maybe I should look into treatment

also people on the internet every single day: my adhd meds are backlogged again my prescription got held up I've had to make 15 phonecalls to doctors and pharmacies while unmedicated and I'm suffering and I'm dying

me: ..... or. maybe not

[fryingpan1234567]

some CHB headcanons

every cabin has LEDs around the inside, but there’s a constant battle over what color they are

Percy has his rippling back and forth from teal to blue and it looks like light dancing through water all over his walls and floor

the Apollo cabin can usually settle for orange and yellow as a common ground

the Aphrodite kids have a different color for each time of day and sleep with pink on the lowest brightness setting

the Hermes cabin has like ten different strips and they’re all constantly shifting

Demeter cabin’s shifts with the seasons

ANYWAYS MOVING AWAY FROM THE LEDS

they have movie nights, which I will talk about in a different post

before everybody goes back to school, the Aphrodite and Hecate cabins have a massive salon at the end of the summer with new haircuts and magic hair dye and outfit recommendations and fake but enchanted sturdy nails and a whole bunch of other stuff and basically it’s a week straight of spilling hot tea between everyone in camp

if someone asks where a camper got their hair done when they get back to school they just go “oh, um… summer camp.” and their friends will snort and be like bro isn’t summer camp the opposite of a makeover?? but they get no argument, just a shrug and a half smile

when I tell you pride month over there is a fucking riot

because Mr. D is in on it, right?? because he’s the god of gender?? and Chiron is aroace and has been raising dumbass gay heroes for literal centuries?? PLUS the sheer fucking amount of queer peeps up in there?? dude yeah

cabins competing for who shows the most pride

Demeter’s roof is covered in rainbow flowers

Hecate’s is enchanted to emit actual light in whatever flag colors of whoever uses the front door, even when they’re straight (it’s just a rainbow)

Percy collects a bunch of shed scales from the hippocampi at the bottom of the lake and then puts them all over his cabin

I could make a whole post about CHB pride but

every single Apollo kid is also a theater kid fight me

Rachel Elizabeth Dare painted a skateboard for Percy’s birthday and he brings it everywhere now, it even sits in his backpack at school

Leo, Annabeth, Percy, and Piper fucking love horror movies. Frank, Hazel, and Jason fucking hate them. They watch through their fingers, if at all

Piper loves the band Surfaces with all her heart, but she also is a die hard Green Day and P!ATD fan

Jake Mason is covered in burn scars up to his neck, just like Deadpool, just not bald lol

Hephaestus and Apollo kids faintly radiate warmth (like more so than a normal person)

the Stolls sometimes stay at camp year-round because their mom is off on international missions that are too high-risk for them to help with

the seven are AVID Smash Bros players

really everyone but

not as many people go to the Athena campers for help with homework as you might think, but whenever anyone does, they’re happy to help

the sun chariot blasts music at a frequency only the Apollo kids can hear, so their life kind of has a shitty soundtrack that consists of a mix of Broadway, Queen, modern stuff, and random bits of Beethoven every now and then

the Romans swear on few occasions

the Greeks know when to swear and when to be polite

the Valhalla peeps swear unbridled and all the time

the Egyptians never swear (in English)

for the longest time, Will Solace thinks the only gift from his dad is his healing prowess— which is obviously great, but he expresses being upset over the fact that he’s not very good at archery

well, considering this is the dumbass who didn’t bring a weapon to actual fucking Tartarus, Nico drags him to the weapon shack thing immediately afterwards and made him pick something out

he's immediately drawn to the Celestial Bronze shotgun.

Nico’s just like “what in the redneck shit did you just pick up” and Will jokingly aims it at his chest and grins and says “you know I’m from Texas, right?”

that’s how they find out Will is one of the damn best marksmen in Greek demigod history

some of the Disney nerds in the Apollo cabin sing What Once Was Mine to the little ones who need bandaids for knee scrapes and give them lollipops afterwards

Percy Jackson absolutely used to make poverty and struggle meal jokes all the time, but he got weird and concerned looks for it at CHB, so he kind of just stopped. But one day, aboard the Argo II, the PERFECT opportunity came up and he just HAD TO and as per usual— everyone else looked at him like he’s crazy— but Leo laughed so hard chocolate milk came out of his nose and that’s the story of how the two of them became Best Friends

[inkskinned]

something that stuck with me once, way back in middle school when i was still learning how to write - my teacher said "writing shock and tragedy is easy, it's humor that's the hardest."

i have been up and down the halls of academia. i have the fancy degree and the experience in publishing. i think i paved most of my own road with the little bricks of sorrow i had stored inside of me. i know i did it mostly with works that are blisteringly lonely. i know why we write like that. it's lifesaving.

but yeah, i mean. i also know how much people think that "sad" media is the same thing as "good" media. our human desire to connect is so hard-pressed that we immediately latch onto any broken themes. the bullied kids and the tales of inspiration. people keep saying things like "glass onion" and "everything everywhere" weren't actually good. because, you know, they're. happy. or happy-ish. happy enough. and we only value art if it's grimdark-adjacent.

do you know - people still consistently whine at me that my writing would be so good if i just capitalized things. i used to flinch. i get kind of a weird, vindictive little rush these days - i get to say thank you for the comment! i have chronic pain and this is how i conserve my hands so i can write more during the day :) grammar isn't real anyway! and now they're trapped in the room with me, you know? i get to pull out my map and show them how grammar is not the same thing as good writing.

writers have this thing. we scratch at our insides, constantly, prying our lives apart into splinters. prying the splinters apart into atoms. when we combust something into poetry, we control it. it cannot hurt us if it exists outside of us rather than burning a hole through the bottom of our lungs. it's not a wonder to me that so much of what i make comes out like a death gasp. i spent a long time at the bottom. i keep going back, too. when you're down there for so long, the only thing you can exhale is fumes.

but humor is hard. humor needs timing; which i can't promise in a paragraph. i can kind-of force it through careful spacing, but i have no idea how fast you're reading these things. humor needs a somewhat awareness of your audience, when really - anybody could be looking. humor needs us to understand what the joke is, why it's a joke, and to think - ha! that is funny. in tragedy, everyone understands the metaphor of a kicked puppy. in humor, you need to introduce them to the concept of a dog.

and forget about positivity. forget about anything not made for adults explicitly. every time i see a well-made children's media piece, i feel fucking horrible for the creators. most of the time, people see children's media as being sort of "not worth" applause, even though i'm pretty sure they have to work twice as hard. i have no idea how hard it must be to not be able to have your character just say. "well, fuck." something about a message of peace or friendship or caring - for some reason, that makes the media not for adults. like, okay. i'm pretty sure my father actually, out of all of us, could use a good book on how to control his temper and talk about his feelings.

but whatever. i write a short story about my ocd, and how it's fucking killing me. it gets an award. it gets published. i write a short story about my ocd, and how i'm overcoming it, and how my days are getting lighter and starting to flourish. i keep getting ghosted. no response. it just is lacking... something.

is this it, forever? you can be an artist, okay. but the trade off is that the things you make - if they're happy? if they're joyful? people will say it's stupid and pandering. you bite your nails off. you file your teeth. you hear something inside of you breaking.

the other day in a writing group, someone i'd thought of as a friend said: "you write so much better these days! i love what you make when you'd rather be dead."

[sil3ntfr34k]

***Minors dni this Adult™️ stuff***

Postal Dude 2 NSFW Headcanons

Postal Dude is very experienced with sex. Having traveled basically everywhere and living all kinds of life’s, he’s fucked all kinds of people

Definitely had gay sex at some point, just to try. He’s been both top and bottom,,,

Dude’s dick is probably a little above average and he most definitely lets this get to his head.

When soft he’s like 3 inches, and it looks kinda cute (don’t tell him that), but when he’s hard he can grow up to 6 1/2 inches. Fully believes he could be a pornstar with that

His dick is about 2 shades darker than his body but at least it’s pretty! It stands up tall and has a good shape, veins popping out slightly when he’s about to cum

He can last pretty long before he cums, a strong 20 minutes💪 also his cum is yellow. Nothings wrong with him or anything, it’s just yellow for some reason.

Sadly, he is not a cum fountain… He could fill up about half a shot glass, but that’s it :((

Dude’s current mood entirely depends on how you will be fucked. He’s angry? You’re not walking tomorrow. He’s sleepy? He’s actually gentle! He’s high? It’s about to get reaallll passionate in here.

The first time you guys had sex he had to constantly remind you to relax. “Listen babe, you gotta relax down here if you don’t want it to hurt.” all while he uses his fingers to get you used to the feeling

For pussy havers, he likes to slide his fingers up and down your vagina, playing with your clit a little to get you nice and wet

For dick havers, he focuses mainly on your tip, dragging his fingers over the slit and jerking it ever so slightly before dipping down and fingering your hole

For both, he will be sucking on your nipples. Has an oral fixation and enjoys having anything in his mouth, pussy or dick, as long as he can lick and suck it.

Dude’s thrusts are pretty hard and consistent at least, almost fully taking out his dick before slamming it back in. Probably likes to hear the wet sound and slapping, makes him feel like he’s doing a good job

Makes little noise other than the occasional grunt and groan. Born to cry during sex, forced to shut the fuck up; unless you tell him you like his noises. He will be all up in your ear sounding like that turtle (you know which one)

I’ll add more if I can think of any :p

[moonlightdancer26]

I'd love to hear your thoughts about Percy! What is your opinion on him in general? Do you like how his character arc was handled by JKR? What are your thoughts on popular fandom takes about Percy (him being a terrible disgrace to the Weasley family for siding with the Ministry/Voldemort; him being a secret hero of the rebellion who deserved better; etc)? And your thoughts on Percy ships? Who, if anyone, do you ship him with?

I think he’s wicked awesome and way too hated, I will genuinely defend him with my life. If my family treated me that badly I’d tell them to fuck off too, he was literally so excluded from his family because he wasn’t some Quidditch-loving jock and actually preferred to study and stay indoors. And he got mocked consistently just because he wanted a bright future. Sure he may appear a bit stuck-up to those who don’t know him well, but his family?? Plus after he legitimately got the job of his dreams, his father’s immediate reaction was to tell him he didn’t actually earn it and that it was all just a ploy. I would actually be so hurt. Like sure Arthur did end up being right, BUT YOU COULD’VE SAID IT A BIT DIFFERENTLY?? A simple “you earned it anyway, son” or “I’m proud of you” would’ve sufficed, alongside an explanation of why Percy MIGHT have gotten the job. He went about it way too harshly, if I got shut down like that after getting the job I’ve been working for my whole life, I’d have done a lot worse.

And I totally get Percy’s resentment, he felt as though his father wasn’t reaching his full potential due to his proud showcase of Muggle-fangirling. And since he (Arthur) was basically the sole provider in a large family that lived in poverty, I can see why Percy would feel frustration towards his father. Plus why do people act as if Percy was always “so horrible” even before he “abandoned” his family? He literally went RUSHING to Ronald when he got out of the lake in GoF and refused to let go of him, and he loved Ginny to death. He was protective of his younger siblings and was pretty funny imo, it’s hard not to sympathise with him when he has siblings like Fred and George.

He genuinely deserved so much better, he was constantly shut down for his accomplishments and cared so much for his siblings despite their mocking, plus he still came back to apologise to them and then proceeded to see his baby brother die in front of him????? How could you hate him after DH?? I don’t think he’s a disgrace to his family at all, sure he was shitty to Molly but, with what he must’ve been going through at the time, I get it. And any resentment he felt towards his family was completely and utterly justified. Plus he literally apologised, so even if you disagree with what I’m saying and think he’s scum or whatever, he legit still apologised to them? He still redeemed himself? Whatever he’s supposedly done that you hate him for, he redeemed himself for it. And I feel like people forget how young Percy was when all this happened? He’s only like 4 years older than Harry and was still 18/19 when all the family drama occurred, and he held a huge responsibility in the ministry. And having grown up as the lone middle child with the burden of knowing his family isn’t respected much must’ve had a tremendous influence on someone as ambitious as Perce. People should really see things from his perspective sometimes. Imo the only genuinely shitty things he’s done is 1. his treatment of Molly 2. his letter to Ron about Harry (but even then, I completely understand why Percy said what he said), anything other than that is usually just exaggerated by his haters.

One character he’s always reminded me of is Alex Dunphy from Modern Family (*tries to summon Modern Family fans*), she was also the odd one out in her family because she was super studious and introverted. And she had a desperate need to prove herself and was very ambitious, much like Perce. Her meltdowns and extreme studying was treated as a joke to the viewers and her sister Haley constantly made fun of her for it. She reminds me a lot of him tbh, which is why I love both characters so much.

lol this was supposed to be a quick short ask explaining why I love him and who I ship him with, and it resulted in a whole rant 😭 that’s usually how I get whenever his name gets brought up. Also Nonnie, I ship Percy with Oliver :D and I think he and Penelope Clearwater really deserved more screentime, they were such a delightful couple imo.

And thanks for the ask btw, I missed talking about him!!

[revehae]

i meant the bbl messages but we would like headcanons too me thinks

i’m gonna leave the bbl at that because if i continue i’m gonna go on 500 different tangents about how sm doesn’t protect their artists, and i’m sure not all of you would hate that BUT i would and i need to shut up bad. but as for GENERAL HEADCANONS!!!!!!!! sure why not tw // noncon, kidnapping, mentions of stalking

i’m going to start this off very normally. my belief with renjun is that he is never running low on fantasies and if he has someone he likes, he will be constantly imagining them in different… positions, sometimes literally. but he’s a sensual partner who is devoted to your needs and desires. he is also ridiculously horny, but he gets off from feeling not just wanted, but needed. i don’t see him as someone who is into one-offs and i think he is even traditional. blah blah blah, main takeaways from my thoughts on him are batshit crazy sex drive, possible submission, and prioritization of intimacy.

now to translate that into dark!renjun which is what you probably really want to hear… upon my strengthening interest in nct dream i have determined that he is another victim of my increasingly long delusional!member line. but in a kind of pragmatic way. in fact i know we all love the stalker trope but of the dreamies, i think he’s (and admittedly mark) actually the most apt for the role? because if you think about it, consistent stalking requires so much effort. i think haechan would get bored if nothing is escalating quickly enough. jeno could do it if he set his mind to it. i don’t think jisung is patient enough. but renjun? absolutely and i will briefly explain why (1/354).

i think if you want someone enough to stalk them, you have to have created an entire fantasy surrounding them. like i said, renjun’s never short on fantasies. he’s like that in the sense that he dreams big, but only of things he knows are tangible or attainable. and you? well… whether it’s by will or by force, he knows he can have you. i think he fits the best friend trope or something that allows him to otherwise be close to you, but not as close as a boyfriend. hell, you might even already have a boyfriend. that way he has mildly easy access to you and gets to admire you. i believe he’s content with just that for a while, not in any particular rush. owning you could even be years in the making.

and when it does happen? he’s committed to making you love him. he knows and understands that you don’t right now, he’s not that delusional. but he believes that over time you will grow to love him back and he actually takes very good care of you. like, he’s going to fuck you no matter you want or not, but he at least does try to make it easier for you and get you off. in fact now that i think about it i could also include him in apologetic!rapist line. it has to feel like it’s something happening out of passion. if he’s out shopping he asks what you want, tries to make your favorite things for dinner every now and then, he wants you to forgive him even though he knows it will be hard.

now if you’re a sub!renjun enthusiast… i think it’s worth mentioning that i don’t necessarily think the above scenario requires him being very dominant and especially not in sex. he might be horny, but in a very you-centered way where he kind of wants you to do onto him. he probably even begs you to do things to him soon enough! begs you to stroke his dick, begs you to say you love him while doing it. i think he can be a bit pathetic. i would continue but unfortunately my attention span has run out

[mushroomnoodles]

its no problem at all- i quite love your comments! this does, however, make me want to go into some further detail on simon's journey and emotional state and just.. events during his pregnancy with morrigan. granted, i'm no writer- i'm much more of an artist, but i guess this kinda stuff has me thinking a lot? so sorry if it's weird.

tw for the sfw and non kink mpreg talk ofc, also i touch on simon being depressed and feeling like a burden again. but there's fluff in there too i swear! not tagging this under art because.. i didn't actually draw anything but myself. lol

i think something i find really fascinating, especially from personal experience, is how hard it is to change your frame of mind. it takes long, consistent effort, and you generally have to want to do it. simon becomes pregnant with morrigan, oh.. i don't know, 6-10 months after the events of F + C? he's 60 years old, physically at least. he's going to therapy and staying away from the bar, he's going outside for walks to get that sunlight and appreciate nature.

then GOLBetty dumps a baby in him. simon isn't instantly attached to the baby yet- this whole thing is sudden and terrifying. his mind is racing with thoughts of some terrifying chaos entity inside him, because god knows it's not a normal child with the way pb's equipment has been literally blown to smithereens at the mere attempt to monitor the fetus.

but he's refusing to terminate the pregnancy, because betty had to have wanted this for him if she did it. they wanted kids before everything happened, and she did so much for him- gave up her ambitions, her body, her humanity- she was asking this one thing from him, and it was the absolute least he could do in return.

also.. betty's not coming back. ever. not as his betty. this is a piece of her she's given to him. a parting gift. how could he ever let that go?

even at risk of death or worse, he couldn't bring himself to do it. and simon starts to struggle again, even if he tries to resume his life- he's so hyperaware of this thing growing inside him, and because of its mother he doesn't dare say or announce anything. he agrees with pb on that part- carrying a child of GOLB(etty) is definitely not something any of them want to make public.

he refuses minervabot's therapy in fear she'll detect his pregnancy, or worse, fucking explode.

simon's so guilty and yet so determined by his sense of duty to betty- betty wouldn't do this if she knew it would destroy ooo, he rationalizes, she wouldn't do this if it would kill him, surely? (golbaby, aware unbeknownst to simon, hears his fretting and decides to take a form that closely resembles his own, because they don't want to scare him.)

but simon's a dad at heart. of course he's going to warm up to the baby. and subconsciously, constantly defending betty's decision (to the girls and in his mind) slowly wears down his apprehension, too. and then he finally feels golbaby kick and it's scary because it's new but it's nothing like he thought it was going to be if he was carrying some.. inherently evil chaos entity his deepest fears (and pb, gently) were telling him it was. (not that he wouldn't have loved it in some degree anyway. look at him.) it was more.. just like a gentle reminder that the thing in him is, y'know, alive. like.. alive. it's just a little guy. huh.

and suddenly it's not really about betty's wish as much, it's about.. like.. getting ready to be a parent to this little guy inside him! and there is so much to do and prepare for. even with golbaby's powers sparking up and effecting the world around him in bizarre ways, simon is more and more convinced that it's just.. a baby. a baby what, he had no clue, but it was a baby, and it was going to be his.

but simon is still shutting down his life around him, because he has to. he's getting bigger and he can't really hide his pregnancy constantly anymore. he shuts down his exhibit and has to go out hunched over in his big ass bulky coat, and it's not too long before he simply leaves the human city altogether, because golbaby is fucking with any machine he passes by. and he's not about to be like, "oh no, i'm not trying to break your stuff, i'm just pregnant with the offspring of the most powerful cosmic entity known and it's an unfortunate side effect. sorry"

being alone is hard! especially when the pregnancy symptoms got worse he just found himself missing betty, not just in the normal way but the, yknow, you knocked me up and i could really use some emotional support way. but also in the please god i just wanna be a little spoon rn way. marceline was there for him (assured him he could call her anytime, too) but he wasn't calling her as much as he should. he didn't want to bug her too much. he knew the whole ordeal was freaking her out anyway, and he tended to keep his innermost thoughts to himself when she'd take him out to see pb. pb wasn't helping either, and neither was constantly seeing the effect the baby had on her equipment.

seeing yourself as something other than a burden and an outcast is a hard thing to get rid of, and sometimes he'd just cling to that idea of pushing onwards because somebody is relying on him now- even when the depression had its really bad point simon was pushing himself to take care of himself because golbaby was depending on him to. he still dragged himself to the store to buy groceries and shit, just for his kiddo. this idealogy didn't last- that he was simply going on because his baby needed him to, but it was a good way to keep his head above the water. simon feeling as though he has a purpose keeps him going through extremely difficult times.

things look up again when unexpectedly fionna and cake pay a visit to his new place in the woods. he tries to hide that he's pregnant- he has been since the start, but it doesn't work in person. he kinda breaks down and has a heart to heart with fionna, and they just sort of end up having tv dinners while sitting on the kitchen floor with cake as a pillow.

it gives him some time out of his head. helps him remember all that stuff minerva told him about handling his feelings and coping with them. he goes back to his walks (and getting that sweet sunshine) and i particularly enjoy imagining him awkwardly asking marceline if she wants to come over for dinner.. he has this board game he wants to try and he needs two people..

he finally says yes to the clothes shopping offer too after a while, and fionna keeps in close touch with him to make sure he's doing ok! simon loves listening to her stories and whatever is happening in his little brain universe. plus, he actually goes out and eats or shops sometimes! wow! he bought a lava lamp! cool!

and even when pb ends up placing that seal on him, he keeps his head up and focuses on those things to keep his mood and social life up because he's not about to let himself go back to that state of being again. you got this dr petrikov.

plus, when pb finally builds a machine that can handle golbaby's power and he finally, finally gets to hear their little, very much human heartbeat? he is over the fucking moon. getting to see that ever so fuzzy outline of the baby on the sonogram? serotonin +10000. there it is! simon doesn't happy cry often but he was happy bawling holding that little picture like a lifeline.

(side note, fionna is very entertained by how sassy he gets during the last few months of his pregnancy when golbaby is sealed. simon's filter is slacking. marceline's pretty amused, too.)

he feels like he can hold his own again, sort of, i guess? and golbaby is very much still his purpose, but he knows just being alive is good enough. maybe he still doesn't entirely believe it yet, but he keeps saying it aloud and in his brain so eventually he will.

uh, i was a human being who also felt like i had to have purpose to justify living. soo.. the ups and downs of the journey are important to me, cause i had them too! i'm still growing and learning (and i have a lot of work to do, i'm pretty young) but. idk. shakes simon around like a chew toy

[northropi]

So I Think I Might Be Narcoleptic And My Psychiatrist Does Too

This has been going on for a while. Things got to a head when I was actually fired for a job due to constantly winking in and out of sleep, and it's still a considerable problem in my life because a lot of long drives (including, incidentally, my daily commute to work) are immensely risky, because no matter how much sleep I get, I just can't keep my eyes open. I was having trouble staying awake in classes as early as high school, and in retrospect I actually have a lot of secondary symptoms that point to it too.

One that's sort of a dead giveaway, albeit mild enough that it's hard to tell if it's intense enough to qualify, is that I seem to have cataplexy. It becomes hard to move, or even hold my arms up, when hit with a wave of sleepiness or intense emotion- which, you might be thinking, "well yeah you're fatigued," but it's a very different feeling than just having a tired limb and comes on very suddenly. My hands start to slip down the wheel while driving, my elbows can't stay straight, so on and so forth- if that is cataplexy, that's, like, 95% chance to be concurrent with narcolepsy, to my understanding, and a previous test that didn't diagnose me was taken under the presumption I didn't have those symptoms (and, also, an environment I apparently found very overstimulating, as I actually didn't get a wink of sleep that entire time, even over the night I stayed- my psych immediately considered this grounds for a second opinion given everything else). I also seem to have the diagnostic quality of tending to pass directly into REM sleep when hit with a sleep attack, which, frankly, makes it a lot worse. It can be hard to tell that I did pass out. In mild cases I'll see or hear someone standing next to me, blurry, mumbling something unintelligibly as I try and fail to look back up at them and answer. Less mild, I'll wink out for a minute, dream that I read something, and then wake up very, very, very confused if it's true or not, which probably is going to hamper my ability to do research in the future. Most concerningly, of course, I once almost went off an overpass because in my dream I was driving, in actuality I was very much not, and what woke me up was when I realized the sona of my internet friend should not in fact be chatting with me from the passenger seat.

Most recently was, well, not having, it's been a while, but realizing that a set of distinct memories I had were probably due to, sleep paralysis. At first I blew the idea that I had it off, but only recently have I connected the dots. What was happening was that from, like, Middle to High school, I had recurring episodes of, like... So I'd be sleeping on my belly, covers mostly over my head, and I'd feel sort of the weight of three steps landing next to me on the mattress, walking up along my body in a sequence. Initially, I assumed it was a cat. Then I started sleeping with my door closed. "Okay," I thought, "shit's haunted." It was a pretty horrifying experience even before I realized it couldn't have been the cats- I'd always just lock up in fear, in what I assumed was just some kind of instinctual, voluntary reaction, but also it seemed equally because I, you know, couldn't move. I wouldn't see anything in those situations because I generally covered my eyes under the covers, but the sensation was distinct and consistent between episodes. Bringing it up to the doctor while scheduling my new referral for another study (hopefully this one being closer to home won't make me all hyper-aware like I was for the first one), she certainly seemed to think it fit the bill, though I also don't know much about the phenomenon overall. Still, I guess that's another check mark on that list.

This leaves me in a pretty fucked up spot if true. The freeway I drive to work isn't just long, it's fucking dangerous. In a three-month period we had about as many fatal accidents, and the road is littered with car parts, not just little fragments of bumpers, like, fucking axels, just sticking up from the ground tossed to the side. It goes over a good amount of hills, big overpasses, lots of situations where I wouldn't just lightly tap a guardrail and be jolted awake, I'd go off the side and into some fuckin warehouse like the F-16C we had go down not too long ago. And here I am sometimes blinking and waking up two lanes over. Great. Job only offers semi-remote positions at most by the way, and I'm really not looking forward to gambling with other places because as much as the job itself beats me up on top of that they're actually decently nice to me there (granted i'm staying closeted lol) and simply put I don't know that better jobs exist.

beyond all that, eh, fuck it, i'll put some tags on this. interested in opinions i guess, if it sounds at a glance like it's the case or if i just have some confirmation bias going on. i actually get decent sleep at night so i don't think it's just fatigue- part of the reason i'm writing this is because i remembered the ridiculous level of recline my chair has can actually be restricted and this has really helped me not constantly fall asleep at the computer.

[rottenbrainstuff]

Pointless personal whining:

Whining: you know who I’d love to be able to talk to right now, is my mom. Well not MY mom. But a proper maternal figure. I’d like to be able to say “haha hey you know everything’s not good right now actually, if I’m being honest I’m actually really struggling. I’m suddenly only just making ends meet and that makes me feel stressed because if anything more happens, I’m going to drown, and if THAT happens, I have no one to help me. I feel like I’ve worked hard to better my situation after my divorce ten years ago, and now I’m suddenly right back to where I started from, except this time there are no next steps where I can go from here, I literally don’t know how to fix this anymore and that makes me feel scared.”

And she could say “I know you feel like you have no next steps, but have you thought of x y or z? I could even help you with a b or c.”

Or not even that, not even that, even if she just said “I’m so sad to hear that and I’m always here to listen.”

If she said “I’m proud of you for how hard you’ve worked, even if you feel like you’re stuck right now” I would probably burst into tears.

Just fucking anything. ANYTHING.

But that’s not what my mom does. The last time I tried to talk to her was three years ago when I had just had an important relationship end and I was having an emotional crisis. Her support consisted of, “I always kind of thought things would end like that” and, “I don’t know too much about the finances stuff, you should make an appointment with your bank.” That was it. That was all we talked about. Thanks mom. Thanks for absolutely fucking nothing at all. As always.

I am also estranged from my dad, for different reasons. It’s so bizarre to me to hear people say like… “oh you should get back in contact with him, you’ll regret it someday” You know what hurts more than being estranged from a parent? Not being estranged from a parent, being around them regularly, and just constantly wishing you had something even approaching a normal relationship with them, wondering why they don’t care, wondering if it’s something you did and you deserve it, constantly. That’s worse.

Ugh! Feeling very crabby and sorry for myself today. Pathetic. /whining

[teasinterests]

Because i’m bored.. here’s a list of pairings / ships I enjoy!

I definitely plan to write for most if not all of these sometime!

( beware I have the most.. cracked ships ever.. )

—————————————————————————

- TatsuHime: This is a given.. I love them. HiMERU being all grumpy & hateful towards Tatsumi, just to eventually begin falling for him. Whilst Tatsumi deeply admires HiMERU, and believes to have admired him for a long time. Although this pairing is pretty messed up, I love it. 🥹 I cannot put into words how much I wanna go OFF about these two..

- KanaTatsu: No, not Kanata.. KanaME! I HAAARD hc that Kaname was Tatsumi’s first ever crush after entering public school. Same going for Kaname.. Kaname is so… (deep inhale..) I literally cannot fit how I feel about him in 1 paragraph but hoo boy.. these two are so in love..

- TatsuEi: I fucking ADORE these two together. I have a whole headcanon about what happened n shit during Tatsumi’s hospitalization, and how he ended up just?? Dropping off the face of the earth?! He canonly met Eichi during his (what I assume to be) first hospitalization as a highschooler. ( if you don’t know, Tatsumi was hospitalized twice during his period at Reimei. ) I have so so many ideas & hcs for these two I genuinely love them sm..

- Watatsu: Rubbing my hands together.. yes.. Wataru & Tatsumi.. this is actually such a crack ship based on some rps I had with a friend.. and I genuinely enjoy them? Just pure fun, and someone who is willing to give attention, patience, and care for Tatsumi. It’s just something he genuinely needs, and they’re very adorable together..

- Watatsuei: …. do I need to explain this? Just the 3 of them. Together… chefs kiss 😌

- TatsuRei: …. Priest x Vampire trope. That’s all i’m saying.

- TatsuMayoi: Shockingly!! I’m not suuper huge on TatsuMayoi but I do think they can be pretty cute at times. I don’t have a huge input on them, since they’re truthfully over shadowed by my other interests.. sorry Mayoi.. 😭

- TatsuMama: …. Slowly turns to the camera.. hear me out, ok? Hear me out!!!! Mama, right?! And also.. Papa Tatsu?! Come on.. they could be so soft n cute I swear…

- TatsuRinne: Idek how to explain this one.. this is just so catered towards me & the fact that I love Rinne & also Tatsu. I do love the fact that Tatsumi was one of the first people to psychoanalyze Rinne since Tatsumi just relates to him on a certain level. I can also dump my hcs abt these two as well bc.. sighs.. 💕

( ok enough Tatsu im sorry 🥹 )

- Wataei: This ones pretty obvious!! I love them, and their development of a relationship.. they have to be canon. Theres just no way..? Eichi is in need of someone who cares for him, and loves him, and Wataru is his newfound bluebird of happiness. 💙

- ReiChi: I actually don’t know a whole lot about Rei? Buut I do like this pairing as a duo, they’re funny, and are constantly bickering like children. The sillies!!

- MamaEi: Ok… i’m very much on the fence about this ship bc they HATE each other.. but HiMERU also rlly hates Tatsu so.. yk, enemies to lovers. ☺️❤️

- ChiaEi: Childhood friends.. 1 going 100mph and the other just vibing. They’re so silly, Chiaki definitely nuzzles Eichi so hard his hair gets poofy from static electricity. 🥹

- ChiaKuro: Theyre so… OINGY BOINGY!! The mippys.. honestly I love these two also.. I don’t have a huge opinion or analysis on them, but the fanart I see and context alone is so cute. Chiaki & Kuro are genuinely close, and its another instance where Kuro’s just vibing and Chiaki is bouncing off the walls at all times.

- ChiaKaoru: These two are so soft.. and.. once again.. another take of Kaoru just vibing and Chiaki running all over the room. Chiaki just needs a babysitter really. 😌

- MamaRei: I’ve never seen anyone mention this ship before..? I feel like they could have some chemistry, esp since Rei is always reaching out to Mama for assistance. Though Mama knows not to consistently rely on Rei. Their bond is so vague to me though I only partly know their story, but the idea of them together is cute…

- MamaLeo: Bruh… these two? Are so very cute. I also think their relationship is a bit sad in a way? Mama’s whole deal is sad, I think any relationship with him could be angsty, but the fact that Mama is more out of tune than Leo just says something there. Seeing Leo so confused and concerned over Mama is just.. 🥹 Not to mention Leo is one of the few people that id genuinely close with Mama. He loves and wants to protect Leo as much as he possibly can..

- RinHime: Sighhh.. Rinne & HiMERU.. bats my eyes.. these two would fight to the death if they could. Though I think Rinne would ultimately win, I think HiMERU could put up a decent fight as well. These two are just aggressive on aggressive and would constantly pick on each other. Though behind closed doors and in a relationship? I can definitely see Rinne cuddling up to HiMERU while he gently pets Rinne’s hair.. I fucking LOVE Rinne & HiMERU 🥹🥹

- HiiAi: My sons, my children.. as a TatsuP I have to love my babies. Hiiro & Aira are absolutely adorable together. I just wanna skimsh their faces.. 🥹

- AiHaku: THESE TWO?! Adorable… Literally online friends meeting irl?! They date.. my lil skimpys.. 🥹🥹

- NaruMika: So.. I will never write anything with Valkyrie as a heads up.. BUT I do very much like this ship. Arashi is so caring & loving towards Mika, and Mika returns those feelings just as much and.. wah.. they’re so so soft…

- NatsuMugi: I don’t have a HUGE opinion on these two as I do like them but they’re not a big fav fav.. tho their interactions are very funny together

- IbaYuzu: These two need to like, be put in a room with pillows and fight each other. They’re so funny idek how to describe this ship off the bat..

—————————————————————————

Ok I think thats just about my list for now.. it’s quite repetitive since I hyperfixate on my favorite characters the most.. but theres also some characters that I also like and just don’t have any ships for them yet! ✨

In addition.. just because a ship isn’t on here doesn’t mean i’d be opposed to writing it! Just as long as it’s age appropriate!! ❤️

[mirrorofprinces]

ao3 wrapped ask: 3, 5, 6, 12, 17, 18, 19, 20, 28, 29, 30!

answered 17, 28, 29 <3

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? i thinkkkk i can't stop and look the other way. i knew for sure i wanted to play with infidelity kink (and my original idea was actually for the infidelity to be real lol) but i chickened out and just made it a roleplay, and even clearly tagged it as such, but i'm proud of how i pulled it off in a way that a bunch of people commented saying they forgot or didn't realize it was roleplay hehe. maybe i'll write actual infidelity one day! who knows

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? god, that's gotta be give it to ya like you never had it. i truly didn't expect the response it's gotten because there was already a super popular pornstar AU fic, so i knew my second cake would just be a humble offering in comparison, but i think a lot of people really liked the way i wrote them here where i had fun exploring their personalities outside of mafia canon.

6. Favorite title you used? oh, i hate all my titles, i literally don't think of a title until 30 seconds before posting, and then i end up using whatever song i was listening to while writing...

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? jesus christ. you don't wanna know. it's in the double digits for sure lmao ><

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? i don't know that it's been one character consistently in my posted fics, but i can admit that the "character" in my rpf WIPs that's been giving me hell is apo. he is so hard to write!

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? i guess i can technically say mileapo since i haven't finished or posted any mileapo fics yet. but another kp ship i want to try is (unpopular opinion alert) vegasporsche. hear me out!! they might suck together in the series, but they have a different dynamic in the novel, and their relationship is more genuine (not FULLY genuine but like, more than in the show lol, like they become friends and vegas develops actual feelings for porsche and everything). but i just don't know if i'll ever actually write them because i would need the perfect idea or AU and it hasn't come to me yet.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most? probably down like my head on your chest, because i THINK it's my fav la fortissimo fic. i'm just really happy with the scenes i chose to hornify, plus the hallway-semi-public-masturbation bit was a huge turning point for porsche where he was given full control of the situation for once and he still chose to submit. you don't really get this because it's in porsche pov, but from that point on in the series, you notice kinn ends up "playing with porsche's emotions" a lot more (ie. having him drive his twinks home, fucking a lot more escorts, shutting down conversations about their feelings) and that's actually kinn poorly coping with porsche's unwavering trust by trying to prove to himself that he doesn't feel anything for porsche, which we all know is a BIG FAT LIE. but anyways. no one reads into the story this deeply, i know you're all just here for the smut <3

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year? my biggest surprise is that i can write again LMAO. before kp brainrot, i went like a full 2 calendar years without writing anything because i was so uninspired, plus constantly comparing myself to the thousands of better writers in the huge fandom i was in at the time. kp also has incredible writers but it's a much smaller fandom and i feel a lot less self-conscious posting here. i remember in my old fandom, i literally couldn't even tweet about an idea i had that i wanted to write without getting a dozen replies from people saying "there's already a fic like that", which is like, ok, i know none of my ideas were especially original, but getting that response constantly made me feel like my writing just wasn't welcome. oh well. with kp being a new and small fandom, nothing feels "overdone" yet, so i'm having a lot of fun in this playground!

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Wednesday Nov 8th

I need to start journaling again consistently.

Think about how badly you want to go home right now. When you get home, let yourself actually rest.

When I get home, go in the bedroom and close the door, the cats can wait.

Take off all clothes. Put on a big t shirt and nothing else.

Take 2 benadryl and put them somewhere in plain sight to remember to take them. Take 2 aspirin and do the same.

Go to the bathroom, but don't stay too long, no picking/ scratching/ etc.

Take a nap, put on something just so you don't hear Barrel but keep it quiet, low, just audible enough.

No phone, no timer, just sleeping.

Noises are giving me so much anxiety today I feel like I just want silence. I am so overstimulated.

2pm

I knew my question for verbal defense today. My normal self wants to chalk it up to "good luck". But what I really want to tell myself is that I'm proud of me for trying to read this book, even though I only read 2/4 chapters. I got asked a question from the first chapter. What if I really didn't gaf and had not read any of the book? I would have been fucked them I would have blamed it 100% on me. It's not like I would have blamed it on "bad luck", so why blame my good results on "good luck" instead of the work I actually did and put time into? Just something to think about. The work I did was clearly better than doing no work at all. ❤️ Reward your hard work and be grateful, be proud and happy for yourself.

3pm

Holy shit my ass hurts from fucking sitting for so long this class is making me want to die. I'm so fucking bored. Also, I don't think anyone is gonna jump my ass for the SOAP note, just stay positive. I literally feel like I'm going to have a fucking embolism from these tight pants and uncomfortable ass chair. 😒

330pm

Yay they cancelled my stupid fucking meeting tonight so I DON'T have to feel guilty about skipping it :')

I really want to stop buying food/ meals and replace it with other habits like buying beverages/ vitamins/ diet things/ foods/ ice. I miss my ice habit.

6pm

Ok learning so much about mental health has made me really want to explore seeking help for my GAD. On the other hand it's constantly triggering to have to keep "learning" about anxiety and realizing more and more that these patient cases and guidelines are literally describing me, and why has nobody ever tried to help me or point this out to me before. It's just sad bc all I've ever tried to do is help ppl but I have really let myself and my mental health go :(

Hopefully I can get help soon, really want to try telehealth.

9pm

Yay done with my work for today and I'm really proud of myself :) got some taco bell for dinner and it smells amazing. Amen 🙏🙌

[raviollies]

My Full Thoughts since I remember people following me for NG art [ spoilers for the game & ending ] :

I may be biased as I wasn't the biggest fan of Death Mark 1 either - and I very much love love love Spirit Hunter NG - but this game felt...rushed?

I'll start with things I liked cause it's Unfortunately Smaller Than What I Disliked:

I liked the final Departed design! I think overall I actually enjoyed the Departed more than Mary and Kakuya, along with the folklore of Mushikabi, and the ancient rituals for old gods, it felt like my alley of horror. Mold and Insects are kind of generally overlooked in horror, so it was real neat. Kakuya had that flavour too, and Mary....I found Mary's final form bad. Sorry.

The environments are super pretty, and I particularly liked the Fox Forest a lot. Fox Laccata made for a very eerie backdrop to a lot of the scares

I didn't quite expect it but the game takes a very mature and hard stance on student/teacher relationships and explains very well why it's inappropriate. After so many VNs just casually having them, it was surprising to see. Good for them!

Horror atmosphere is good as usual - they have really good grasp of how to describe things in a really creepy and unsettling way. Just reading some of the shit made my skin crawl.

THE SOUND DESIGN....my god the ambience and the noises the ghosts make are fucking horrific in a good way. It gives such an unsettling feeling to hear the spirits voices, I wish more games went with the kind of distortion they go for.

Michiho's room being untouched since August after the clocktower incident. I think it's a great story telling beat, I just wish it came earlier and was a little more subtle. Overall I think it's an excellent way to show someone's is being possessed.

The horror of interacting with two girls only to find out they're literally just flesh piloted by an angry spirit.

Now things I Disliked:

First of all - it relied extremely heavily on you caring for the characters from the first one. It didn't develop or flesh them out at all, and considering it's been some time since Death Mark 1, I hand on heart didn't remember a lot of them. Spirit Hunter solved this by having a consistent cast that stayed with you the entire game and that's why you felt...compelled to save them. They're your friends. You KNOW Hazuki, and Amanome! That and well - the obvious of the cast being way too fucking big. Like physically what was the purpose of Abe, aside an extra name????

I know the game wanted you to develop a fondness for Michiho and Himeko, but i forreal just felt uncomfortable with them, especially with constant pushing of their company onto a Grown Man that very much told them in plain text "you make me uncomfortable. Stop it." It's extra bad because the game takes a hard stance on their relationship to Yashiki, and he constantly tells them no, and it just felt...icky. I KNOW they're possessed by the spooky ghost, but it just makes me so confused when the game tries to pull 'their innocent smiles ...their gentle reassurance' on you, like I'm sorry we talking about Mrs. Harassment over here?

Speaking of the girls but my god was it obvious. Guys. Come on - you're better than this. It was so obvious they might as well have worn a stamp on their forehead saying 'IM THE DEPARTED'

This leads me to the...fanservice....It's bad. I don't think I need to expand on this... It's bizarre how bad it is considering NG took a massive step back from it. I don't know why they reverted back to it in full force.

The ghosts were also...underwhelming to put it mildly - and plain goofy to be frank. Again I hate to keep comparing to NG but....bro. I genuinely don't like a single spirit design from the main ones except the Departed.

The end felt weirdly rushed with how quickly we found out everything about the Departed in 1 chapter while doing fuckall for the previous 6. I think getting teeny hints through out the entire game would have been more satisfying in solving the mystery...that and I wish it wasn't LITERALLY SPELLED OUT FOR YOU.

The true end is bad. There. I said it. I hate how it brings back the girls with all their creepiness (derogatory), it cheapens the horror of interacting with a corpse, and kind of is just...bizarre. The normal good end is the best one and fits the tone of the series. I can tell the girls were the writers favourites and Its So Unfortunate When You Don't Like Them.

Anyway play Spirit Hunter NG. Death Mark 2 isn't bad because I do still enjoy the series, but I think it's a downgrade from the second one. I'd put it around the same as Death mark 1, with maybe slightly above because I did like the atmosphere and the Departed, might draw them. Spirit Hunter NG still sweeps.

Finished Manlys run of Death Mark ii and man I love this VN series...it's a shame that their marketing is almost entirely Japan exclusive, I wanna buy merch 😔

[noitscooldw]

sexting m!kylar hcs

hello everyone!! how do you do! im alli! long time fan first time writer (о´∀`о)

i got inspired by @inkyquince 's sexting w kylar hcs and couldn’tttt help but add on my own h0rny ramblings

so without further adieu, this is ifdolhadcellphones!au

warning: adult content! (obv), afab!pc, breeding and impeg mention

sending

alright so i don't think kylar would send nudes very often but when he does oh boy are they good

gets so hard just thinking abt showing you how much he needs you rn

he wants to prove his love for u and show u how crazy u make him

vids consist of him rubbing himself over his boxers, letting his precum stain and make a mess inside

all you can hear is his sweet little whimpers and mumbling, his breath hot and heavy. he gets a lil too close to the mic sometimes and he almost sounds in pain

lifting up the waistband to reveal his throbbing hard cock, standing up at attention so cute and pathetically

“i-i’ve had this all day..” you can hear him whisper, “all day…”

the camera gets so shaky as he starts desperately pulling on his cock, fucking his precum-covered fist, his small hips moving with the momentum

all he needs to think abt is fucking your sweet little pussy and he’s gone, bursting loads of cum into his hand, imagining going inside your womb

just thinking about cumming in you gets him so riled up, most of his fantasies consist of that anyway but that's a rant for another day :p

but yea, most videos usually end with him moaning your name loudly and cumming all over himself, just for you <3

in terms of d!ck pics, his most common poses are him just holding himself, feeling the weight and heat of his arousal. kinda showcasing his length heh heh (big d kylar supremacy)

also loves to send you pics of the hard ons he gets throughout the day thinking of you, you’re on his mind constantly and he can’t help but get excited, needy in fact

you’ll be at work at the cafe or sumn and get sent a pic of him pulling down his sweats, hard cock straining against his underwear, head leaking through the fabric

“i miss you sooooomuch. when are you going to be home??? i need to see you”

normally would not be so comfortable showing their genitals especially online where anything can get hacked but with you he feels no shame

after all, his body is yours anyways :)

cum pics lovesss sending pics of his cum and how much he came for u “it’s a shame this is going to waste hehe”

makes sure he brings himself right to the brink before he takes a pic so he can look extra needy for u

hands and phone are always sticky

waits on the edge of his seat waiting for u to text back

lowkey regretting it when anxiety hits; what if u don’t like it, what if u find him disgusting and call him a pervert, a freak? maybe he shouldn’t be so forward like this…

but as soon as he hears a ping! and see ur name pop up alongside a sexy pic in return, all his worries wash away

you really are made for him

receiving

kylar is so grateful for modern technology just so you're able to send him nudes

screenshots every single pic you’ve ever sent to him, so you already know he has a whole folder of all ur nudies

definitely password protected and encrypted so no one will ever find them, not on his watch. would go actually insane if that happened.

but you can bet every night he lays down in bed, goes through his favorites (all of them) and just goes to town

definitely cums on his screen to your selfies or any pic of you rlly, like those weird cum tributes on reddit 😭😭

like i said, his phone is very icky and sticky

frothing at the mouth when he gets a sexy pic from you, and always says thank you <3

spends about the next hour and a half furiously jerking off to said pic, whether it’s in the park bathroom or at home in his bed

he just can’t believe he has this in his possession…you’re not sending these to anyone else right???? no no of course not hahha why would you..

still, even the thought of you willingly sending these photos…wanting him to see your body, to see you in such a vulnerable, private state….

ok back to the bathroom

tittie pics has him droooling, he can just feeeel how soft they are through the screen, how sweet they’d taste

“BBEAUTIFUL”

“you lookso amazing my darling!!!!!

“so pretty and perfect and alllll mine”

“cant imgaine how theyd look nice and full of milk…..”

“i want th em in my mouth…please....”

pussy pics have his mouth salivating and his dick trying to escape out of his pants

"FFFGFHFJ Mmmlslfkfkfkfkffiuu"

“holyyyyshitttt hhaaha omgggg!!!!”

“all miNe to Breeed all mine onlyy mine!”

“DONOT show this to anyone okay???????”

"iloveyousofuckingmuch"

[gallusrostromegalus]

If you ever want to do a "Top 10 home gardening tomato cultivars" segment, I'm here for it. (My folks mostly plant Early Girls, but they have a ridiculously short growing season up there. I grow Sweet 100s, because they taste good enough and I gave up on growing anything other than cherries due to bastard squirrels who like to take exactly one bite out of larger tomatoes.)

OH

IT IS NOW TIME TO INFO DUMP

CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED

Ok so the actual thing with tomatoes is there are- checks google- about 10,000 tomato cultivars out there and every single one of them is different, so you should tailor your tomato breeds to what you actually want to do with them.  10K is a lot a breeds to break down, but fortunately, there are ways to Do That:

1. Determinate vs. Indeterminate 

Determinate tomatoes grow to a genetically predetermined size and start fruiting.  Pros: Tends to have a short time between planting and fruiting, don’t get bigger than a certain size if you only have so much space. Cons: Once they’re done fruiting, that’s it. you really only get the one crop out of them.  Also tend to have sad, watered-down flavor.

Indeterminate tomatoes grow as big as the space will let them, and start fruting when they get around to it. Pros: Maximum Plant for minimum investment, which can be like 10x as big as a determinate plant. Will KEEP fruiting until it gets too cold, so if you can get it in a pot you can move inside you could potentially still be harvesting tomatoes after thanksgiving like my MIL was this year.  If you live somewhere warm like SoCal or AZ, you could keep it alive all year. Cons: MUCH longer time between planting and fruiting.  Indeterminate tomates Get there when they get there. Also may be more prone to disease and pests than the more-modified determinate plants.

There are determinate and indeterminate tomatoes in all 5 of the Greater Tomato Archetypes.  Speaking of:

2. The 5 Tomato Archetypes

I’m so good at segues! 

So tomatoes come in 5 basic types, each which is generally better for something culinary than the others.  You CAN substitute different types of tomato but your food generally doesn’t come out as good.

1. Cherry: Cherry tomatoes produce fruits that are about the size of cherries.  Some people put Grape and Saladette tomatoes in here but they are WRONG, both of those belong in the “Round/All-Purpose” group because Cherry tomatoes specifically have thinner skins, more soluable pectin, and more dissolved glutemates, which means they cook VERY differently.  Cherry tomatoes also produce a shitload of fruits at a time and might be some of the heaviest producers.  Tend to be more heat-tolerant. Good For:  Fresh tomato sauces (i.e. takes less than 20 minutes to make), salads, snacking on directly off the vine like you are a small tarsier discovering a hidden bounty of fruit.

Top reccomendations are: -Indigo Cherry or Dwarf Black Krim if you can find it. I always reccomend dark-pigmented tomatoes as I find they have better flavor, pest resistence and UV tolerance. Taste fruity but not over-sweet and Very Tomato-y.  -Sweet 100/Super-Sweet 100/Sweet Millions: All varietals of the same mass-producing Cherry Tomato. Makes absolute buckets of Tomatoes, sweeter and more fruity than the Indigo cherry, good disease resistence and long growing season.

2. Paste: Paste tomatoes are thin-skinned, meaty and soft tomatoes that... well, they make good tomato paste, the basis for all long-cooking tomato sauces and recipies. They tend to be kind of Oblong and sometimes grow in fun extras like lil tomato “dicks” or weird cthulian shapes, but this doesn’t effect the flavor or nutrition There’s a shitload of great varietals in this category, I’ve yet to hear of a Bad Paste Tomato, just Less Excellent ones.   Good For: Long-cooking Tomato-based dishes like: Bolognese, chili, ketchup, BBQ etc.  Also can and freeze well.

Top Reccomendations are: -Amish Paste: MEATY, and well-suited for growing in a variety of conditions.  Paste is smooth and velvety.  Good for Chili, BBQ and Bolognese. -Opalka tomato: Russian Tomato, little more on the acidic side, grows well in places prone to surprise late frosts.  Paste isn’t as smooth but very thick. makes great ketchup. -San Marzano: THE tomato for making Marinara Sauce (also does good bolognese). Sweeter and lighter, with a slightly runnier paste that clings well to pasta. cans and freezes excellently, does well in places with HOT summers.

3. Beef: Beef tomatoes are BIG motherfuckers that kind of take a long time to grow but are very rewarding.  Beef tomatoes are firm, have a very solid meat and are best eaten raw, typically sliced onto a sandwich or seared under a broiler for a NZ Mousetrap. Not only are the fruits big but so are the Plants, so they take a long time to reach maturity and the fruit takes FOREVER to ripen but if you like a sandwich, they can’t be beat.  Also they look hella impressive on instagram. They also tend to be more prone to Blossom End Rot (which is just a calcium deficiency- just make sure to fertilize with some eggshells and don’t over-water them), and despite the size, don’t tolerate cold well. Good for: Slicing on sandwiches, eating raw like you’re biting into the still-beating heart of your nemesis and enjoying that sweet, sweet revenge, searing quickly under a broiler or putting on a Kabob.

Top Reccomendations Are: -Brandywine: Hefty, great fresh tomato flavor, and PINK.  -Big Zac: Goddamn Massive Tomato. A Real Heckin’ Chonker. meatier flavor and lots of firm flesh with few seeds. -Beefmaster: One problem with Beef tomatoes is that a lot of them are heirloom varietals that aren’t as widely available. Of the ones that are easy to get your hands on, Beefmaster is the best, but it lacks the flavor punch of Brandywine or Big Zac, but it’s not a BAD tomato.

4. Round/Early/All-Purpose: The Workhorse of Tomatoes, the Round Tomato does it all- sauces, salsa, sandwiches, salads, and snacks.  But it doesn’t do them quite as well as the other, more specialized tomatoes.  Also, some of these tomatoes have been Over-Worked and bred to fruit early and transport well, at the expense of it’s Flavor.  I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU, EARLY GIRL AND BETTER BOY, YOU FLAVORLESS TENNIS BALLS, YOU INSULTS TO THE MIGHTY HOUSE OF NIGHTSHADES. Love yourself, don’t get Early Girl or Better Boy. If your season is too short for anything but the earliest of tomatoes, it may be better to grow Something Else than put all that effort in for Disappointment. That said, there are many types of Round/All-Purpose tomatoes that haven’t been overbred into corporate blandness, and I can reccomend them in good concisence if you’re not totally sure what you want to do with your tomatoes: Good For: Indecisive people, people just learning how to grow plants, using one plant for a variety of purposes, people who are not yet prepared to enter the world of Tomato Opinions. Top reccomendations are: -If you really must have an early-fruiting tomato, the Wayahead is an heirloom that people swear comes in early with good size, flavor and firm structure.  I have not personally tied this varietal but people I trust like it. -Black Krim: GOD-TIER TOMATO. It’s got it all- flavor, high yields, firm structure, pest and disease resistence, fucking purple stripes. Cans Well, Freezes well, seeds well and breeds true. Fuck yes. Other tomatoes fucking WISH they had what this Hot Bitch has. -Invincible is a damn-hard-to-kill tomato that isn’t very large but fruits reliably and preforms well all around.  it also ripens 3 fruits at a time so you’re not constantly overburdened with Tomato.  Probably my top pick for beginners that need an Emotional Support Crop.

5. Fun: This is not, strictly speaking, a traditional type of tomato, but I feel like it’s an important category for people who want to do something different or really enjoy all Tomatoes have to offer. Good For: Trying new things, taunting the garden gods with my hubris, showing off at the garden FB group, discovering new flavors of plant.

Top Reccomendations: -Mr. Stripey:  it has a goofy name, it’s yellow-and-pink striped, and it smells and tastes almost exactly like pineapple, but it doesn’t try to digest you back.  I love it. -Japanese Truffle: Dark Brown tomato that looks like someone tried to make ferro rochers at home and bungled it, and has a LONG maturation time, BUT it’s got a chocolately flavor and even at maturity has green insides which give it this. Lightness?  it’s hard to describe but it’s a fascinating flavor. The plant also is more branched and elegant than most tomatoes. Very different, very cool. -I have not personally tried Cherokee Purple but I have heard good things about it. We’ll see how it does in the garden this year. -Tomatillos and Ground Cherries:  Not actually tomatoes, but closely related. Neat herbaceous sort of flavor, like thyme but to the left.  Also comes in a fun Organic wrapping paper. -Ketchup ‘n’ Fries: a Sweet 100 tomato top grafted onto Kennebec Potato rootstock, so it grows both tomato AND potato!  Grafting was invented prbably about a week after the concept of agriculture was, and consists of taking two or more closely related plants and taping a cutting of oone into a hole in the other until the plants heal together.  Like that one gorilla-dude from Umbrella academy, but without the angst.  You can get them pre-made or attempt to make them at home if you’re feeling adventurous and are OK with potentially killing a bunch of starts while you learn.

Good Luck and Happy Gardening!

[thunderheadfred]

💥Bakugou HC's💥

Aged-up pro hero Katsuki for all of these. Some NSFW beneath the cut. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

General

He’s scary good at everything he tries. Every. Single. Fucking. Thing. It’s infuriating. Has zero patience when other people can’t immediately master a skill. Never let him teach you anything. Not that he’d offer, nerd.

He WILL offer, though. A lot. He can’t believe you still can’t Do That Thing. Tsh. Like THIS. You're gonna hurt yourself, Dummy.

But hold on. Of course you have unique skills of your own. You work hard to improve yourself. Trust me, he's the first person to notice. He doesn't praise anyone lightly, so when he raises his eyebrows and whispers he's impressed, your heart will go thermonuclear.

Perfect spelling and fully punctuated texts. Never uses abbreviations. Employs a grand total of four emojis, all of them angry faces. Constantly leaves you on read. He's busy, dammit.

Doesn’t smile or laugh in public (except sarcastically). His real smile is a crooked, fragile thing. Never make him feel self-conscious about it, or you might not see it again for weeks.

He does not talk about his private life to the press. Ever. Will K.O. rookie reporters who can't keep their big mouths shut.

HOweVER: he's intensely kind to his fans. There is a whole photographic sub-genre of little girls in cosplay hugging Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight like he's a Disney Princess.

Too smart for his own good. Emotionally hyper-vigilant. Overthinks every interaction to hell and back. Will act like he's not listening but actually hears every single word in a ten-block radius.

INSECURE AF. 110% convinced he will never be good enough. Terrified of his loved ones leaving him behind. Does he do anything to assuage his fears? Like... talk to anyone about it? Hell no. That would require admitting he has fears to begin with.

Seeing people upset makes him upset, especially if he doesn't know how to fix it.

The epitome of being mean because he cares. He genuinely does not seem to comprehend that monosyllabic grunts and lopsided shrugs are not actually that comforting.

Because he was such a brat growing up, he wants to make up for it now. Sort of. In his own way. Look, he's trying, okay?

He smells - so - good. Obscenely good. He doesn't wear cologne; are you joking? There's the burnt-sugar caramel candy smell of his quirk, for starters. And since he sweats deadly ammunition, he showers and wipes himself down almost constantly. He always smells clean. Like a fucking meadow.

Never got that growth spurt he was hoping for. He’s a short man - not even THAT short - but he has a Napoleon complex anyway. If you’re taller than him, the collars of your shirts will all be stretched out. He’s constantly dragging you down to his level. He will assert himself all the fucking time; the pissing contest is never-ending. Don’t wear tall shoes unless you want him to drag you around on a leash. If you’re shorter than him, that’s good. That’s very good. He likes that.

He’s an incredible cook, but everything he makes is a nuclear fire challenge. Adapt or starve.

- - - - -

Dating

Makes artisanal, nutritionally flawless bento lunches for both of you. When people assume his S.O. makes them, he gets fucking pissed. Damn right your co-workers are jealous of my cooking.

Your pet name is Dummy. Don’t like it? Fine. You can be dumbass.

There will be zero PDA in this relationship. His hands are shoved so deep in his pockets you can’t even try.

Intensely private with the press. But with his friends, he will brag about you nonstop. Bakugou Katsuki has the most talented and attractive and intelligent S.O., and anyone who doesn't recognize that is blind. Were you assholes even listening?

A mutual buddy definitely recorded one of these drunken brag-rants and sent it to you for safekeeping. Do not let Katsuki find out about it, unless you enjoy having an ash pile for a phone.

Gets jealous about everything, at least at the start. He calms down eventually. Kinda. He stops saying shit to you about it, anyway, because he learns to trust you. But anyone who so much as looks at you in a too-friendly manner will get the death stare of a lifetime.

He’ll throw all kinds of temper tantrums and the two of you will argue about every tiny fucking thing. He’ll scream out car windows, he’ll ball up his shirt and gnash on it. But he will never raise his voice at you. He’d rather die than make you feel unsafe.

Honestly, the constant bickering is really just... uhh... passionate communication. Eventually you both hash out the important things. You'll learn how to step around his landmines and actually make your points, and he'll learn to open up. A little.

Once you meet his mom, Katsuki starts to make a lot more sense. His family just... emotes like that. Eventually, you and his dad form a spousal support group consisting of exactly two lifetime members. He teaches you the Bakugou family semaphore you need to survive a long-term relationship.

Katsuki can dish it out but absolutely cannot take it. The only person who can level with him about serious issues without explosive fallout is his dad. Or, on a lucky day, Kirishima.

If you give him a legitimate criticism (even gently!) he will take it about as gracefully as a knife to the gut, because it confirms everything he hates about himself.

To your never-ending shock, you’ve made him cry. Yes, CRY! You monster! More than once! His lip gets all *trembly* and his eyes get all *watery* and all you want to do is hug him, but. No. He’ll storm out and wander around for a few hours before coming back with the problem perfectly solved.

He always takes your advice to heart. No, he will NOT talk about it, stop asking.

Gets mad if you don’t snuggle him on the regular. Will drag you into his lap with a pissy little grunt. There might be two seats on this couch but you will not be needing both of them.

Takes pictures of you while you sleep.

Takes even more pictures of you when you're awake but think he's out of the room.

He looks at all these pictures when he's away on high-stakes jobs. He gets all bleary eyed and sleeps in a salty puddle without you. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

You don’t have to meet him at the door or anything, but when he says “I’m home,” you’d better answer fast. If he doesn’t know your precise location in 0.05 seconds, he will assume you’ve been kidnapped. He never checks the fridge for notes. Never assumes you've gone down to the konbini for a snack. No, it’s kidnapping every time.

A terrrrrrible bed partner. He goes to bed at senior citizen hours and will never fuck you after sundown. He snores SO loud. Runs hot and sweats through the sheets. Slaps and elbows you in his sleep and aggressively spoons you with his loud, sweaty body. You WILL want to suffocate him. Separate bedrooms aren’t such a horrible idea......

BUT HANG ON, because in the morning he transforms into an honest-to-god angel. He's half awake, his guard is non-existent. Morning Katsuki is a doting kissy-faced marshmallow man.

If you can wake up before the ass-crack of dawn, he will pamper the fuck out of you. You are royalty for one (1) hour only, and he is your bleary-eyed slave. You want a cuddlefuck? You got it. Hugs? Kisses? Take as many as you need. You want a perfect, fluffy, NON-SPICY omelette with a heart drawn in ketchup? Here it is, gorgeous.

Then he gets in the shower and the spell is broken.

- - - - -

💥bang BANG💥

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: this here is an ASS. MAN. He'll spank you with his quirk; doesn’t matter if you’ve been good or bad. Wants to see you wince when you sit down later.

Likes pounding you face down with a vice grip on your waist.

Unfortunately, even with all that said... he doesn't exactly have the feral beast sex drive you were expecting. He’s married to his work and has the fuddy-duddy habits of a once and future valedictorian. Only fucks you when he has the time and energy to fully dedicate himself to it.

But ohhhh. Shit. When it's time? It's TIME. The man will rush for nothing. Stamina for days. Making you cum as many times as possible is a point of pride. Yeah, you passed out once.

You’re gonna need those days off when he’s done with you.

That dick THICC.

Sends unsolicited dick pics. Only after you’ve been dating a good long while - he doesn't show that shit to just anyone. But yeah, don’t check your phone at work. He won't cum without you; those pictures and videos are time bombs. You better get home. Now.

Physically dominant as FUCK, but won’t verbally degrade you unless you ask. Well, let’s be honest. Unless you beg.

Praise him and reap the rewards. A long hard ego stroking will get him off more than touching his cock ever will.

Will grab your hair and fuck your throat. Will also stop immediately if you need him to.

The two of you have safe words and gestures. Even for vanilla stuff. He’s paranoid about scaring or hurting you. He insisted you both sign a color-coded ‘love contract’ that he meticulously formatted in a word processor. When you gave him guff about it, his blush was the darkest crimson you’d ever seen.

Coin-flip: he will sometimes be unbelievably gentle in bed. Doting and affectionate, taking perfect care of you. Like, it’s baffling. There’s no warning, the switch just flips. When you want him to be extra-rough and mean, he’ll sweetly worship you instead. For hours.

Bonus: he likes being penetrated. But of course he’s got a complex about that too. Super intense power bottom. You will never fuck him hard enough. He’d like to see you try. Hit his prostate just right and he might literally explode.

You'll live happily ever after but he will say he loves you out loud exactly once. Maybe. If you're lucky. And you're both about to die.