#and then ILL feel bad for making THEM feel bad

[plethorawrites]

TW: Mentions of dub con/non consensual intimacy or coercion. (From his past lovers, not reader) (A/N this is my favorite thing I've ever writtenreader

TW: NSFW content.

2.5k word count

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Okay, this could be a bit of a hot take, but I am a firm believer in soft Jason Todd during sex.

Especially at the beginning of a relationship. He died young and his only sexual experiences were with Talia, who groomed him, Essence, who he believed betrayed him for the longest time and maybe Artemis, (Idk if that's canon? Can someone confirm or deny?) who was probably pretty rough given her arrogant, abrasive, and violent personality.

So, when he dates you, he's more than just hesitant. He's pretty much terrified. But he's used to hiding his feelings because they make him feel vulnerable and weak, which he hates. When you start tearing down his walls, he starts to panic. He likes spending time with you, thinking about you, kissing you. Especially that last part.

But it never goes very far because he always pulls away when things get more heated. Like, you in his lap, him nearly fully hard before quickly picking you up by your hips and moving you to the other side of the couch before standing up, clearing his throat and leaving.

It takes over two months before he feels comfortable enough to even tell you the reason he doesn't want to be intimate and the only reason he did is because you started to feel like he wasn't attracted to you or you had something wrong.

He rushed to reassure you that wasn't the case and finally told you the —partial— truth. He had scars he didn't want you seeing, he had bad prior experiences, he felt like he was being used almost every time he slept with someone and couldn't stand that feeling because it made him physically ill.

It took several weeks after that to slowly adapt to that realization and discuss how to make that feeling go away. Taking things slow, making it last, keeping it gentle, seemed to be the best way. And it was somehow perfect and tortuous all at once. He let you ride his thigh, at first. That was the first time he'd ever allowed any form of intimacy between you too. Partially because you looked desperate and he felt bad and partially because he genuinely wanted to see what you looked like while doing that.

Not to mention, he was still too afraid to be the one doing anything. So, it was best if he just helped.

His grip was firm, his eyes glued to you. You whispered more praise in those few minutes than he had heard from anyone in months all together, maybe even the year. He felt good. He was helping you. You appreciated it. You appreciated him. He was attractive. You were thanking him for giving this to you. Practically begging for his help.

And it made his heart clench, not to mention his teeth. There were other forms of physical intimacy after that, still only to you, because he didn't want to risk showing his scars or get that nausea in his stomach again during sex. You'd allow him pretty much anything and everything, if it meant he was more comfortable with you and your body. Sliding his hand under your shirt while you slept over (quite literally just falling asleep after eating dinner together) brushing his knuckles against your breasts, hesitant to touch them, but finding comfort in it all at once.

You assured him three different times—before he did it, when his hand was just barely under your shirt, and when his fingers first tugged at your nipples. It's when he's finally a bit more comfortable, pressing his lips to your shoulder blade that you hum and roll over. Your hair finds his hair, stroking it and he presses his lips to your neck, almost on instinct. You let him kiss lower and lower, gently guiding his head towards your breasts, all while repeating more and more praise, reminding him he's under no obligation to do anything, ever, if he doesn't feel comfortable.

But he does. With you, he does.

It leads to him kissing and sucking at your chest until he loses track of time and you're painfully wet. That was plenty, you promised. He doesn't need to do anymore than that. But he does, because he doesn't want to take his hands off your soft skin. So you gently drag his hand down, keeping the other firmly on his shoulder while you stare into his eyes, as his fingers slide through your slick. A sharp inhale makes him hold his breath. The other women he'd been with only ever wanted the most physical part of sex, never to do something like this. You were so soft and warm, assuring him he was doing fine while guiding his hand until you eventually couldn't keep looking at him and had to close your eyes. He liked that. A lot.

The way your hand moved, letting him do what he wanted while you gripped the sheets. He listened so well, trying to make you happy or just keep making those sounds—his name falling from your lips. If you wanted his fingers to move faster, they would. If you said deeper, they were. If you said to curl them, they'd curl. You were so... captivating, he had found. Usually, he was too in his head, so focused on how long until it was over that he never even considered being able to enjoy it.

But he wasn't rushing with you. He didn't want you to stop saying his name. When you finally came down from the high he'd brought you, your first words were a question, asking if he was alright. When he nodded, you started telling him how perfect he was, how good that felt. He liked that almost as much as your moans.

Yet, you felt guilty, never taking care of him. He never asked. In fact he repeatedly denied the offer until you chose to stop asking rather than upset him.

Until one day, when you were on the couch, leaning against him as he read, your hand perched on his thigh. He didn't know if it was the fact that you were wearing such a low cut tank top or how you'd been absent mindedly rubbing circles around his sweatpants while reading over his shoulder, but he was worked up. It took twice as long to finish a page with your motion making his mind go to places it shouldn't.

He was worried, about you rejecting his desires, or something like that. Something mocking or doing something that was uncomfortable. People had done that before, eliciting physical reactions he didn't want to feel. But he wanted to try, to feel you on him the way he'd felt you.

His hands grabbed yours and when you looked up in confusion, he just gently and silently slid your hand a bit further on his leg, towards his erection. He'd absolutely taken care of himself, and often, because it was a quick stress relief that left him tired before bed. But lately, the more he did it, the more his mind wandered to you and that, for some reason, made him finish a lot harder than usual.

Your hand brushed against it and you asked if he was sure before pressing a kiss to the side of his shoulder and sinking down to the carpet below, on your knees in between his legs. Running your hands up and down his thighs in a soothing sort of gesture both calmed him and felt like torture all at once. But it only lasted a little bit, while you promised him he was in control, because that's what he needed to hear.

That he could say no at any time if he was even the slightest bit uncomfortable. When you slid his boxers down, his heart jumped in panic. Of course you noticed the scars on his thighs instantly. But ignored them, because he still hardly ever showed them aside for occasionally wearing short sleeves. You were silent and he was scared but all you'd said at last, was that he was pretty.

"Pretty."

That word had never been used to describe him. Not before his death and certainly not after. Even the feeling of your gentle kiss on his skin and your thumb swiping over the top had him gripping the pillows, still stressed. Your hand took his, squeezing it when your lips finally enveloped him, his length disappearing into your mouth. His breaths were shaky, his hold on your hand getting painfully tight.

He felt like he was in pure bliss, his mouth falling open to pant as his head fell back against the couch practically begging you to keep going. The feeling of your hums had done him in. And his moans, loud and tough, getting whiny towards the end as the euphoria wore off assured you he was fine. He slid his boxers and sweats up quickly, his cheeks red, from the act not embarrassment (he'd say and lie) but you just laid your head on his knee, staring at him, asking how he was.

Good was an understatement. Great, too. Incredible. Amazing. None of those compliments came out. He couldn't speak, just looked back up at the ceiling as his breathing came back under control.

All you'd done in response was tell him he didn't have to say anything if he didn't want to, climbing back into the couch and wrapping your arms around his midsection, resting your head against him. You stayed like that—silent. The only question you dared to ask was if he'd want that again and his response was a kiss.

He realized after that, how truly deeply he loved you.

A feeling he was so unused to, he couldn't pinpoint it for the longest time. You felt safe. Maybe that's what made him want to finally seal the deal with you. Or maybe it was the way his body physically ached in a way that no amount of help from his own hand or your mouth could fix.

Something about it was missing.

He wanted the lights off. You had accepted that, but told him you'd really rather see him. He caved almost instantly, because as afraid he was of you seeing him, he wanted to see you too bad to care enough. You were undressed first, naturally. He'd seen that before, in bed while touching you, or just as you changed it got in the shower. He wasn't any less smitten, still obsessed with every inch of exposed skin. It took a few deep breaths and reassuring words before he was willing to unbutton his shirt.

In fact, he couldn't. He'd asked you to do it.

That felt oddly more intimate to him. Your fingers moved slowly, undoing them one by one, a bit more of his chest exposed with each button undone. You had seen a lot of his scars, after he got more comfortable wearing shorts or shirts that showed his arms. He still never revealed his chest and when you did, he looked away, his teeth sinking into the inside of his cheek to keep from tears brimming in his eyes as he heard the small gasp leave your lips.

He almost jumped when you touched one, your fingertips feeling light as a feather. Tears kept pricking but he refused to let them fall. He was being vulnerable but he couldn't allow himself to be that weak. Your other hand found his cheek, pulling his face to look at your face, brushing your thumb over his bottom lip as you pursed your own, tightly to keep from any strangled sounds escaping.

Your voice was equally as emotional when you eventually spoke, telling him in a shaky voice that he was still pretty. Those words or perhaps how your voice cracked when you said them, broke him. A tear slipped down his cheek and you were quick to brush it away with your thumb and kissed his cheek softly, confessing that you loved him.

He couldn't stand it anymore.

He wrapped his arms tightly around you, burying his face in your neck letting himself breathe for what felt like the first time all over again. A real breath. One without any heaviness attached to it because you'd stolen all the stones from his walls one by one. You repeated it, so he knew it wasn't a mistake or accident and he started peppering short kisses to your neck, all the way to your lips, which he kissed deeply, his bare chest pressed entirely around your own.

Your arms were around his neck, in his hair, pulling him closer and his hands started to wander, desperately craving to have you without any barriers anymore. He stared at you, or at least tried to, when he felt your velvety walls surround him, clenching tightly when his hips were finally flushed with yours. His jaw was locked tightly until you started running your hand up and down his spine, telling him he could take a moment, if he needed it.

He did.

Not because he was nervous, since for once, he wasn't, but because he wanted to stare at you in this state and revel in your feeling for a moment more. He did, until it became painful for both of you and every thrust he made was slow and deep, staring into each other's eyes, taking full breaths in at the same time for several moments until his pace was quick, along with your breathing.

Your praise never stopped, even when it wasn't fully coherent and ended in a moan or whine. His own praise for you wasn't lacking either, telling you how perfect you felt, how badly he wanted you, how much he appreciated you waiting on him because he really was enjoying it, probably more than he'd enjoyed anything in his entire life.

When you're both a mess, panting and quiet from the feelings that washed over you both, his body goes limp, laying on top of you. Your hands rub his shoulders reassuringly, although slowly and his hands hold either side of your head, fingers threaded into your hair as he pressed his forehead against yours, feeling your breath on him. It was silent, until he eventually lifted his head to admire you, your stray hairs sticking to your face, your puffy lips, your blown pupils.

He said it back, at that moment.

He loved you too and couldn't stand letting you think anything else for a single moment more.

You didn't respond, but your lips curled into a grin and a heavy sigh left your chest, your hands moving from his shoulders to cup his face and lean up to kiss him.

He rolled you over, causing a slight squeal from you, letting you lay on him so he wasn't crushing you any longer. You rested your head against his chest, silently tracing his scars as he messed with your hair, the moonlight streaming in through the window.

His voice eventually broke the comfortable silence when he whispered to you, asking you to "Say it again."

You didn't hesitate to tell him you'd "Say it as many times as he wanted to hear it."

With his lips twitching, the slight wit he always possessed came back, questioning what you'd do if he "Wanted to hear it forever."

Like before, your response was immediate when you replied, telling him you'd "Say it forever, then."

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

(genuine question sorry if it comes across as spam or trolling) is porn addiction not actually a thing? and how is it connected to terf stuff (again genuinely want to know so I don’t repeat the retoric)

No worries anon, I do not get enough asks for things to come across as spam or trolling.

But yeah no, porn addiction is not a thing. Over two decades of research has not proven a goddamn thing; rather, it's proven that it doesn't exist. [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] *note, some of these are more accessible than others and some are more specific

While those who believe in it will present what seems to be a mountain of evidence for it, their evidence is often unscientific or unreliable or uses flawed measures or uses incredibly small sample sizes, including a sample of 1 in some cases.

The actual scientific consensus is that while excessive watching of porn can be a bad habit and can negatively impact your life, you can't become addicted to it the way that you can with things like alcohol. Things like alcohol addiction or tobacco addiction are related to a significant change in the neuronal transmission in your brain. Like certain drugs mimic certain neurotransmitters and impact the neuro-receptors on either side of a synapse.

Porn doesn't do that. Or moreso, porn is not unique in how it can change your brain chemistry. Someone who spends twelve hours a day seven days a week watching reality TV doesn't have a habit inherently different to someone who spends the same amount of time watching porn.

Often excessive watching of porn is a symptom of a larger issue such as depression. Many of those who self-report as porn addicts match the primary diagnosis of depression.

Also, within research, it is often found that those who self-report a porn addiction watch the same amount of or less of porn as someone who doesn't report it, mostly because a lot of it is related to shame and guilt and not addictive behaviour.

Porn addiction as an idea is most often rooted in religiosity and not science.

It can also be rooted in terfism. Because terfs hate porn.

Their arguments against porn boil down to the idea that women cannot and should not have sexual autonomy. They dress it up obviously, but if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's a misogynist.

Almost any argument against porn they make can be easily countered by the fact that all their criticisms occur in every industry that exists currently, especially so in creative industries.

The porn industry is not uniquely exploitative. If people's labour is involved, it's probably being exploited or it has the potential to be exploited. Not knowing if the person on screen was treated well on set is not unique to porn, you know how many movies I can list that included actors being treated like shit? The porn industry does not have an issue with human trafficking that is unique to any other industry; it's a massive issue in industries with manual labour. etc.

Point is, it is not inherently evil. Terfs want you to think it is though because A) they hate women and B)

To them, porn equals predatory men (they include trans women in this) exploiting poor innocent women who cannot possibly consent.

The idea of women who actively partake in sex work and enjoy doing so is mind breaking for them; they often rationalise it as the women being mentally ill and being indoctrinated by porn. The idea of porn addiction suits them well because they believe porn is inherently evil like men are.

Terfs can't perceive any situation where women are not being actively victimised by men. They are always the victims and they always need protection from men who are inherently evil and inherently predatory.

They're misogynists and idiots (and very often very racist though that's not currently relevant).

I don't know how coherent this is. It is approaching the time I go to sleep so it might be very rambly. I hope it was helpful anyway. Feel free to ask for clarification that I'll reply to in the morning.

[charlott2n]

literally even nightmares are special. not that i really get them any more after a certain age. but sometimes ill have a dream that feels Evil and its like. god. wow. my mind was able to make me feel such a primal inner Evil and Fear and Bad. thats just so special to me. just to feel anything. its art its what ai people wish ai was. i think it only doesnt count as art because you cant share a dream. otherwise we'd have famous dreams and you could share a screening of a dream you had to your friends and neighbors. it would ruin it though. it needs to be kept special its the theater of the mind of your own personal inner self completely uncensored. its more intimate than sex and more beautiful. do you understand me.

[servantofthefates]

I have a huge problem with the Law of Attraction.

I use the term Law of Attraction a lot, because it’s the easiest way for me to convey to English speakers what I’m talking about.

But the law of attraction I believe in is not the same as the oversimplified version that the Western world is obsessed with.

According to them, our emotions dictate what we create. Whether good or bad, whatever happens in our life is something our emotions consciously or unconsciously made.

What then of children who were molested? Did their emotions somehow make that tragedy possible? What of people who were brutally violated and killed? Were they secretly wishing for it?

Their version, tied to the New Thought movement, only works for privileged people. Those who cannot even afford three meals a day cannot simply believe in their dreams, for the skies to open up and shower them with a college education and a brand-new Tesla.

This movement’s Bible, The Secret, also demands that you feel and stay happy every second of every day, because the world needs your joy. So how about someone who just got run over by a bus? Or somebody who was just diagnosed with a terminal illness? Should they smile 24/7 too?

To convey the version of the Law of Attraction that I believe in, I must share another philosophy from another part of the world.

Chinese metaphysics says there are three kinds of luck: heaven luck, earth luck and human luck.

Heaven luck is your fate. Your destiny. What the gods have planned for you, or what your soul agreed to accomplish in this life. It cannot be changed… for the most part. Earth luck is your environment. Whether the place you’re in is conducive for who you want to be. Is your home a sanctuary or a battlefield? Are you in the right job or not? Do the people around you support or belittle you? Human luck is your actions. Your choices. This is where my law of attraction comes in. Do you speak kindly to yourself? Do you think as positively as you can? Do you believe with every fiber of your being that you can achieve your dreams?

Your human luck is in your hands. It is how you manifest. It is how you lead a life that makes your younger self proud and your older self grateful.

But when shit happens, you mustn’t blame yourself. If a malicious person harms you, or if tragedy strikes out of the blue... that’s not your fault.

You did not attract that. You did not make that happen. You did not create your own pain. That is a result of the other two kinds of luck just doing their thing. That's life. Even Mother Earth knows it can't be summer all year long.

However, when you actively and consistently try to strengthen your human luck, it can influence your heaven luck and earth luck too. They could bend to your will if you can convince them. That is the law of attraction I believe in and speak about.

It's a long journey for us to be able to make that happen. So if you cannot do it just yet… go easy on yourself.

Keep trying. You'll get there.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

It’s okay if you still struggle with the „old stuff“. 

You know, it’s really amazing that a lot of prejudices are slowly turning from „some people say“ to „some people used to say“. Some people used to say gay marriage would be a slippery slope leading to old men marrying little boys. Some people used to say that normalizing gay relationships would normalize humans having sex with goats or dogs. Some people used to say homosexuality is an illness or maybe a psychiatric disorder stemming from childhood abuse. 

It’s progress, it’s a victory, that these horrendous beliefs are turning into a past tense - and it can also feel a bit alienating to see them used as a past tense when they’re not a past tense to you. 

Maybe you live in an environment where these beliefs are still alive and kicking, and you’re still being actively told those things. Or maybe you grew up with them and heard them for so long you sort of internalized them. Regardless of whether people around you still say them (and while you yourself obviously know you don’t want to have sex with goats), you may still feel like you need to defend yourself against the accusation. 

That’s painful to deal with. There’s the obvious pain from being exposed to these horrible and cruel and untrue beliefs - but there’s also the much less obvious pain that can come from this sort of mental disconnect, when you’re hurting from something in the present but you’re told it is a problem of the past. 

It can make you feel lonely and disconnected from your community. It can make you feel ashamed, like you’re the one who is backwards or like you’re just being overdramatic. It can also make you feel bitter towards younger gays who seem to have it so much easier. 

We could try to deeply analyze these feelings now - but that would kind of go against the topic of this letter, wouldn’t it? Because still struggling with the „old stuff“ can also mean you still need reassurance on the „basic“ things: 

Being gay is okay. It’s one of the multiple normal, natural, healthy ways to experience life. Homosexuality isn’t dirty. Homosexuality isn’t wrong or gross. You are not a pervert. You are not creepy or dangerous or a bad person. You were born this way and you were meant to be like this. You don’t need to (and can’t) change it. 

These statements may feel like obvious „surface level“ stuff to some - but that doesn’t make them meaningless. For many, it’s still vital and important to hear them because those worries are still present. 

It’s okay if that’s where you are. You don’t need a degree in gender studies to be part of the community. You are allowed to need reassurance on the „simple“ things, you are allowed to take time to unlearn those beliefs and learn to accept yourself the way you are. You deserve to be met with love and kindness right where you are today… and today you may just need to hear „hey, being gay is okay“. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[literaryvein-reblogs]

How do you write a positive character slowly being more and more pessimistic? Example: Character is a sunshine at the beginning of the series but after something happened, they became less and less positive. How does the process look like?

Writing Notes: Negative Character Arc

Character Arc - the path a character takes over the course of a story.

A character’s arc involves adversity and challenges, as well as some changes to the character, and ultimately leads to resolution.

Character arcs generally progress in tandem with traditional three-act story structure.

Most protagonist character arcs start with the inciting incident that sets up the stakes and central conflict facing this character.

The way the arc progresses from there depends on what sort of story you are telling and how the character functions.

Negative Change Arc: As the name implies, a negative change arc involves a character starting out as good or benevolent and descending into evil or ill fortune over the course of a story.

Some Related Tropes

Face–Heel Turn: A good guy turns bad.

Fallen Hero: Not all villains are born. Some are made, and none are more tragic than this trope. As the name implies, the Fallen Hero used to be a hero before turning bad. They may even have been an Ideal Hero or another equally optimistic archetype, up until the moment when they suffered something bad enough for them to lose all faith in good and idealism, be it the loss of a loved one, too many good deeds coming back to bite them hard, betrayal by someone they trusted the most, too much distrust from those who should have been allies, or some other faith-shattering event. It might even be a drawn out process of seduction to The Dark Side or fall from grace. What they choose to do about it determines what they become:

If they retreat into themselves and fight evil mercilessly to dull the pain, they become an Anti-Hero, though if this fight is motivated by vengeance, they may run the risk of becoming like the very monsters they have sworn to destroy.

If the loss of faith with humanity and/or society and government makes them decide to do something drastic to "fix" it, they become an Anti-Villain, most commonly a Knight Templar or Dark Messiah.

Alternately, if they just jump off the slippery slope and embrace chaos and the destruction of humanity as the only solution to their pain, they'll become a straight up cackling Card-Carrying Villain. Especially those who only became a hero for fame and glory, rather than for any good cause.

Or they'll be a fusion of the second and third examples and decide that killing/destroying everything is the ONLY way to save EVERYONE from the pain/pointlessness of existence, often becoming a Straw Nihilist and an Omnicidal Maniac.

They might withdraw from society, become a hermit or drunkard, and ignore the ongoing state of the world. If the current generation of heroes meets them, the fallen hero will mock how their deeds are useless. Most likely, however, they will help the new heroes in the hopes that they won't suffer the same fate.

Or they can ditch all of their once good qualities and become a Complete Monster.

The Tragic Hero: A longstanding literary concept, a character with a Fatal Flaw (like Pride, for example) who is doomed to fail in search of a Tragic Dream despite their best efforts and good intentions. This trope can work as a protagonist or an antagonist. As an antagonist, their goals are opposed to the protagonist's, but the audience still feels sympathetic towards them.

The Protagonist's Journey to Villain: A plot in which the protagonist, who starts out well-intentioned, turns into a monster.

Used to Be a Sweet Kid: This applies when a villain or other dark and troubled/troubling character was not so as a child.

Examples

The Shining. It starts off with Jack being a happy family man, albeit with a dark past, until the influence of the hotel drives him to madness and monstrosity.

The Lorax (2012): A good portion of the movie sees the Once-ler telling Ted his backstory, how he went from a kind-hearted, free-spirited inventor to a Corrupt Corporate Executive character trope who causes the extinction of trees due to his greed. However, the Once-ler in the present day really regrets his actions and sincerly helps Ted to restore the trees.

The title character in Carrie (1974, and its film adaptations) is a kind-hearted, but socially outcast teenage girl who spends the first half of the book getting slowly beaten down and pushed to her Rage Breaking Point by her classmates, the school faculty, and even her own mother. The second half is about the massacre she commits as a result when what happens at the Senior Prom makes her snap.

Alexandre Cabanel's The Fallen Angel: Lucifer, once God's brightest angel, lies defeated and resentful after his jealousy toward human beings and power-hungry tendencies drove him to fight (and lose) a war against Heaven.

Arguably the central plot of Breaking Bad, which follows the journey of Walter White across five seasons from sympathetic, kindhearted chemistry teacher and family man suffering from cancer to a fairly loathsome Villain Protagonist. Gets briefly paused halfway through the fifth season when Walt, having reached the top of his empire, having taken his operation global realizes that he has made more money than he could ever hope to spend and far more than he even set out for initially. This leads him to decide he is out of the game, make amends with his former business partner by giving him the money he's owed and try to start over fresh with his family. Then his DEA agent brother-in-law finally figures out he's a drug dealer, causing him to slip back into his criminal ways and his moral degradation resumes. Even if he won't physically harm them, he's perfectly willing to throw his family under the bus to save his own skin like making a false confession tape implicating Hank or in Jesse's case, teaming up with skinheads to have him killed when he becomes too much of a hassle.

The Favourite (2018): Arguably the case for Abigail. She starts out a kind-natured Fallen Princess after her father gambled away both the entire family fortune and herself, so she sets out to join her cousin Sarah at Queen Anne's court in hopes of getting it back. However, as she is sucked into the world of politics and abused consistently by everyone around her, Abigail adapts to their cruel, underhanded ways alarmingly quickly, playing nice around Queen Anne as an antidote to Sarah's personality, faking tears when people push her too far, drugging Sarah's tea, seducing a Lord, marrying him and then all but dumping him once she gets her title back. Her cruelty finally culminates in getting Sarah officially banished from Court and intercepting her letters to the Queen, leaving Anne heartbroken, blatantly cheating on her husband in front of him, and finally stomping on one of Queen Anne's beloved pet bunnies (whom she views as surrogate children) until she nearly kills it. Queen Anne is not amused.

Les Misérables: Inspector Javert is on the side of good and law, but he is so inflated with extreme self-righteousness that, when confronted with Valjean's nobility, he has no choice but to kill himself.

In The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Archdeacon Claude Frollo is a compassionate man in the beginning, but after seeing Esmerelda, he goes mad with lust and slowly becomes evil, desiring to either have her for his own or kill her if she won't become his.

The Percy Jackson and the Olympians short story "The Diary of Luke Castellan" shows this off with the titular Luke, a villain-turned-hero who used to be a very sweet kid. Or, as in this chapter of history, a sweet teenager. He's brave, protective, and caring towards his little adopted family, to the point that he closely resembles the later hero of the series, Percy.

In The Witcher as seen by the flashbacks to his childhood with his "Ma" Visenna in the finale episode of Season 1, Geralt was once an adorable little Momma's Boy full of optimism. Completely unlike The Stoic Deadpan Snarker Knight in Sour Armor character trope he is in the present.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

There are so many possible causes as well as directions you can take your story in with this idea. Choose which of these tropes you would like to incorporate into your writing, and also found some examples for inspiration. More information and examples in the links above, hope this helps!

[heaven-s-black-box]

Notes- Blabber Mouth Dendro Men

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Recovery date: February 2nd, 2025

Description: A Dendro version of Blabber Mouth

Notes: CW a few suprise/unplanned pregnancies Reader can carry children but no pronouns are used.

Hydro Dendro Cryo Pyro Anemo Electro Geo

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Tighnari

He knows before you, your kid doesn’t even need to tell you

He was the one to tell you you were probably pregnant the first time, he can just smell it

Your kid can also smell it, plus they have that weird sixth sense kids have

Tighnari, being as well studied as he is, knows this and doesn’t say anything

It drives him crazy, he can’t nuzzle against your stomach without letting the cat out of the bag but he also doesn’t want to take this away from your kid

Eventually he realizes that your kid has been telling you, you just haven’t realized

They’re cuddlier, like he’s trying not to be

Like tonight, when he comes back from patrol to find your kid curled up against your stomach

Like always… oh

So he coaxes the answer out of them, asking if they’re feeling okay because they’re so cuddly

That’s why they let it slip and you just look at Tighnari bewildered

He laughs and curls up next to you two, wrapping his tail around your kid and giving you a kiss

Al Haitham

He sees the signs, he didn’t jump to conclusions the first time but this time he knows

But, he decides how he feels before hand

Like he did with your first born, hopefully he doesn’t accidentally freak you out like last time

Kaveh and the others still give him shit for it

Your kid is really smart, and really likes learning things so they also kind of see the signs

But last time they assumed you were pregnant it was something else entirely, like you were sick or on your period or whatever

So, they take their theory to their father

And Al Haitham feels kind of bad that you’re the only one out of the loop, so he suggests they tell you their theory

You of course, agree with their conclusion but decide to play along

Your child excitedly exclaims they knew it and immediately turns to your belly and starts talking

You don’t say anything because it’s sweet, even if the baby can’t hear anything yet, and Al Haitham kisses your temple

It’s his way of saying he’s just as excited as your kid

Kaveh

He’s blindsided, and you were planning to visit Tighnari to find out

Look, your first was a surprise

Not unplanned, you knew you wanted kids and were working out a plan, but a surprise

And he had a lot of anxiety around that, his own dad died when he was young, he was always really busy

Baby number two was much more planned, you were actively trying

You just wanted to be sure before you told him, because Kaveh’s an emotional guy and you didn’t want to get him all excited

Your first kid beats you to it

You’re making dinner, waiting for Kaveh to come home and planning to tell him you’re taking your kid for a regular checkup with Tighnari

And your kid just comes over and kisses your belly

Then the door opens and they run off and you hear Kaveh pick them up and shower them in kisses

They loudly exclaim he has to go kiss their sibling too, and Kaveh nearly drops them

You just start laughing and he comes in with a silent question

You shrug, and he kneels down to kiss your stomach

Baizhu

I can really only see Baizhu with one kid, and I don't see you getting accidentally pregnant 

Also, you technically have two kids because Qiqi is basically your daughter

But I think your first was really stressful for Baizhu and he feels guilty about it

With his illness, taking care of the baby and the pharmacy is just too draining and he can't be the father/husband he wants to

But, if you two can work it out I think he’d be happy to have another kid

You find out first because Changsheng tastes it in the air, but your kid beats you to telling Baizhu

You're out picking herbs and flowers together and your kid says this one is for the baby

Baizhu is caught off guard and you just laugh, telling your kid you'll press it in a book when you get home

He's a little worried, more than the first time

When the baby comes he mostly handles your first born but he won't leave the newborn all to you

He's just very aware of his limits this time

Arguably makes everything go smoother because he doesn't overwork himself

Kinich

Having kids wasn’t something Kinich thought about before you

Relationships weren’t even on his mind until you

But once you were together, he was actually the first to bring up kids

Ajaw is such a pest, all of the attention meant for him goes to the kid and then he meets this kid and they’re… alright, he guesses

I think he definitely wants more than one, and he brings it up to you

It’s another long conversation, as an ancient name bearer he’s seen first hand the terror of the Abyss and it definitely influences his willingness to put a child in the middle of that

Post archon quest he’s basically begging for another kid, but pre archon quest he’s even more hesitant than with your first because he knows about Mavuika’s plan

Whatever the case, you talk about it but you still don’t expect it

It’s more of a, we’re kind of busy right now but if it happens it happens

You guys are visiting Mualani and your kid confidential says you can’t get in the hot spring

Mualani insists you take a test because if the kids right you aren’t a allowed in the hot spring and Kinich spend the whole time looming over your shoulder

He’s ecstatic, and you’re a bit annoyed about not being able to go in the hot spring while your kid is super excited to have a little sibling

[seasaltandwisdom]

tips for tired hellenic polytheists

new or old

when first researching where to start, it’s very overwhelming with everything you need to do. autism and chronic illness were and still are a major hindrance to everything i do, worship included, not to mention i am still worshipping in secrecy. i was put off from worshipping for a year or so because of this. it doesn’t have to be so daunting, the gods aren’t here to judge how efficient you are in your worship.

starting with altars, you don’t need one, especially not a big elaborate one. they’re gorgeous and one day i aspire to have one, but that’s not ideal or even possible at the moment. if you plan on giving libations you can have a small cup or glass to hold the offering and sit it next to you or in any empty space until you’re ready to discard. same with food items, a small platter works. it doesn’t have to be a dedicated space, they understand your circumstances.

another thing i struggled with was knowing which god or gods to worship. you don’t have to wait for a god to call to you. pray to who you want and who makes you feel comfort and happiness to think about. the gods aren’t going to turn you away. you can start with more than one too. there’s no ‘beginner’ gods, just who you want to start with!

giving offerings doesn’t have to be so complex, especially if you’re worshipping in secret. a big one i do is offer a portion of my food to the gods while i wait for it to cool or find a video to watch. i tell them i’ll eat after and the first bites goes to them. they know if you have limitations, they know i can’t give them food and let it sit and afford to not eat it myself and that’s okay. i also buy a lot of trinkets from various places, if it reminds me of the gods they get to keep it and when i look at it i’ll whisper a small hello.

devotional acts are easiest for me, it’s things i’m already doing or should be doing. taking my meditation/listening to music in honor of apollo. cooking/spending time with family in honor of hestia. watching ocean related videos for poseidon. if it pertains to the gods, devote the act to them and it keeps me on top of things i need to do if i know i devoted it to the gods.

this may be my most controversial section, i don’t do khernips! if you do, more power to you of course. i just don’t have the means, and don’t see much reason for that to stop me from worshipping. i will wash my hands with soap and water before giving an offering, but for regular prayer of just saying hi or talking about my day with the gods, which i usually do in bed or while out and about, i don’t worry about it. they know im human, they aren’t going to shut me down or out for being such. this stopped me for awhile, i couldn’t make khernips so of course i couldn’t worship but truthfully the gods are understanding. even somedays when im too tired, depressed or sick to do anything, i used to feel bad for not being my cleanest while talking to the gods but if i can’t pray when im at such a low point, when can i?

the gods aren’t going to be disrespected or angry at you for praying or offering whilst you’re on your period. yes, i’ve seen that debated. just be clean on human standards, when you can, and they will understand. they’re old and wise, they’ve seen it all.

i’m just rambling at this point so i’ll wrap up soon! coming from christianity, it’s hard to not fear the gods, i get it and most others do too. religious trauma is hard to overstep, if it’s something you struggle with the gods won’t mind if you have to do a few things differently. good luck on your journey, whether new or just continuing. i hope my yapping helped with anything. your faith is personal to you, don’t let others push you away from it. be kind to each other and yourself.

as always, feel free to dm or send an ask if you feel inclined to! my word is just that, don’t take what i say as law and if you do things differently, that’s okay. i’d love to hear about that too!

[sapphicsandman]

having too much fun imagining bill dickey drawing his friends + alice....

He would remove all his stupid imperfections but draw them on the rest LOL

ill add specific notes under the keep reading but its really not much

For Josh and anyone with Curly hair, Bill shades it in by just circles until hes satisfied, probably a lot neater than the execution here or whatever.

Pete is the most normal looking one (unless pissed Bill off in that particular entry), followed by Josh (Will draw pimples on, nose and the little baby twirl hair if hes feeling particularly mean), and then lastly Jerry, who's kind of hard to draw ugly? Like he's lanky, but that's just how he looks like, so Bill often adds stink lines and make him say something stupid and wrong.

He probably doesn't draw Alice like this always, but he definetely enjoys drawing Alice the most, even more than his perfect kinda sanitized self. He dedicates basically like 20 minutes to just shading her, and add his own thoughts about her hair, basically just make her pretty as hell regardless of what she looks like then at that moment. Not completely ditching what she actually looked like... but.. Basically, he's never letting go of this one design of her.

Im thinking of the Blog to be both open for requests of people wanting to be drawn in his style and then him giving a shitty caricature of their oc/sona LMAOO

Not tagging the other members because id feel bad...

[y-urios]

　 　　 　ℐ　　𓈒　　𝐹rayed 𝓃𝑜tes ♮f 𝑀us𝒾𝒸 　🎹 　𓏵 　　　　　　 　the results: 2.5k event special by @y-urios

ℐ　　𓈒　a　 quick　 foreword 　by　 evie 　𓏵

　𓈒　　HI IM NOT EVEN JOKIN GWHEN I SAY IVE BEEN PUTTING THIS OFF FOR SO LONG BC THERE ARE SO MANY FREAKING PRETTY ENTIRES IT HURTS ME TO PICK JUST 3... so i picked more than 3... the way i want to put everyone sin the mentions sighs.. laughs nervously.. uhm. its the fact that im almost at 3k and i still havent posted the reuslts for my 2.5K.. event.. realization hit!! 　𓈒　a big thank you to everyone who joined this event: @atsubie @n-americano @soulari @7kyujin @ningrlz @miujo @misodolls @galapogos @hypndiary @lvioung@beompercar @hourlyhoon @mminmgi 　𓈒　now ill shut the fuck up and announce the winners

ℐ　　𓈒　the　 winners　 & 　mentions　 　𓏵

ℐ　　𓈒　　1st place @lvioung + entry u dont know me well enough if you didnt expect me to at least place this moodboard to win.. THE FREAKING COLORS? THE STORY OH MY GOHS?? THE VIBE IS SO PRETTY OVERALL AND THE STORY ADDS SO MUCH TO IT I LOVE THIS SO MUCH suni u are just way too talented whether it's a 3x3 or a non 3x3, IU LIT LOOKS SO FRAEKING GORGEOUS omg i love this mb sm and u suni!! I LOWK STARED FOR SO LONG WHEN I SAW U POST THIS CS IT WAS DOWNRIGHT GORGEOUS. 𓏵　　𓈒　　2nd place @ningrlz + entry when i made this event i didnt expect anyone to post a moodboard with the misc instrumnts cs i thought it was pretty hard to do but you pretty much proved me wrong with this GORGEOUS moodboard. the colors and the warm vibes are so fucking pretty and i love how each color complements each other and overall its so freaking cute i love it ist just gorgeous idk how else teo describe it its just too freaking pretty ℐ　　𓈒　　3rd place @n-americano & @soulari entry + entry THESE WERE BOTH SO FREAKING PRETTY AND I SWEAR I COULDNT JUST PLACE ONE OF YOU GUYS AS THIRD OKAY I KEPT DEBATING BETWEEN THE TWO OF U AND DEICDE TO MAKE U GUYS SHARE 3RD PLACE!! both of ur moodboards are so freaking pretty, i love everything about them and the color match agh ari & zia are so frkaeing talented at color match its crazy , ari ur mb lit reminds me of an electric guitar and omg zia urs does too, but with this cozy warm feeling and its so YUMMY omg idk how else to describe it either but you guys did so frekaing well and u lowk deserve more than 3rd ☹️☹️ ℐ　𓈒　　honorable mentions @atsubie entry just freaking gorgeous i love this and im so sorry i coudlnt place u ☹️but the colors oh my oghs screams kicks my feet stares @miujo entry dan thisi s just outright pretty as fuck like all ur mbs, whenver i look at it i actually feel so freaking bad for only giving u an honourlbe mtnion when u desrve so much more for this entry u were so on point with the theme & the colors omg where d oi even start @hourlyhoon entry sososo cute omg!! i love the brass pictures you used too omg they fit so well in ur mb which is why im giving u this mention cs i love the ecolors you used for this entry & the overall feleing im getting from it is so welceoming and yummy HLEP, its so pretty and i love it smsm !!

ℐ　　𓈒　　　prizes!　 　𓏵

to the winners + mentions : please msg me to claim ur prizes!! (send the post(s) you would like me to reblog and gg idols you would like me to make a mb of!! (1-3 depending on prize heh) and if u want to try ur chances u can send some bg maybe idk!

ℐ　　𓈒　　1st place　　 follow if not already, 3 moodboards by me, 100 reblogs , shoutout on my pinned post for 1 month 𓏵　　𓈒　　2nd place　　 follow if not already, 2 moodboards by me, 75 reblogs, shoutout on my blog ℐ　　𓈒　　3rd place　　 follow if not already, 1 moodboard by me, 50 reblogs, shoutout on my blog can all be negotiable &　 ℐ　𓈒　　honorable mentions get 15 rblgs

[shakethediseeas]

ALIEN STAGE CHARACTERS WITH AN ALIEN READER

alien stage x reader

maybe ill make more (ivan, hyuna and sua)

CHAFACTERS: TILL, LUKA, MIZI

On your 15th birthday your parents decided to give you a planet as a gift, they took over and made a stage to keep you entertained! its so fun! its humans trying to survive by performing music you've never heard of before.

One day, you decide to visit the garden to take one for yourself and when you saw that figure running by, you knew you want that one.

heads turned at the sound of children going 'woah' as you twirl and walk past them, looking at them as if they were animals in a zoo. two aliens behind you as you keep searching and start getting frustrated-- no one was appealing for you.

just when you were about to turn and head home to complain you finally spot one. they were running after someone with flowers in their hand, and more kids chasing after them.

they stopped when the kid bumped into you, and it went silent. They fell to the floor as you brushed your outfit clean of their filth before pointing down at them.

"i want this one."

to take them of the joy and friends they had in here didnt really matter to you. to you its like picking an animal from a shelter, bringing them to a better home where the only one they would rely on would be you.

that smile you saw before you picked them no longer existed. They were quiet and nervous of getting any negative reaction out of you which only made you mad but you had to be patient with them in order for them to be happy!

'first few months'

how come these humans dont come with a manual because this human was shattering things in rage when they thought you werent home and they hide in a corner so they dont get caught.

You heard of their behavior problems before picking them up, but you didn't care as long as you got to see that smile they had—but since they weren't smiling, you'd have to fix that.

you took Till to visit the garden for a bit, even though your guards were against the idea but who were they to tell you what to do?

He was so happy—the happiest he's ever been since you took him away. When you came to pick him up, he shyly asked if he could ever visit again, to which you nodded.

'you werent THAT bad' is what he thought after you gifted him a custom guitar. you noticed he played with an imaginary one so you decided to build trust and gift him a fancy new electric guitar!

and you still took him constantly to see his friends even though he heard you being scolded for it, that fake argument made him feel more appreciated.

'a few years later'

he jumps to sit down on your bed before demanding to visit a friend who was with their owner, you half listen, too busy painting your nails and kicking your feet in concentration.

mid rant you push the nail polish to his face and say "paint my nails first then ill think about it"

and he does so with a red face.

'first few monthd'

you were pretty sure you were speaking their language so why the hell was this human just staring off into space while drool escaping its mouth. you recoil in disgust and start regretting your decision a bit.

it took you a lot of patience and time to figure out what he likes, you ended up spending a lot of coin on the human for him to at least look at you with stupid big eyes.

you had to spoon feed luka unless you wanted him to starve to death, he couldnt sleep or change properly without you there glaring at him before reluctantly helping him.

you suppose it was okay, if he relied on you too much that would mean he couldn't really leave you, you were in charge.

'.....' though you wished he was a bit more vocal, you thought about it for a long time, if he didnt have the brain capacity to say a nice thank you maybe he could sing for you.

so he did. you bought him whatever you deemed necessary, and he sometimes mentioned another small thing and u gave it to him.

'a few years later'

you dont know why he wanted to sing for anyone else other than you but you allowed it. ever since you took him to see the stage in the VIP section he finally voiced out 'i want to do this' well not really but his face said it.

you get back home, a bit tired and hes tailing behind you as always. you land on the bed exhausted before flicking your hand in the air to signal him 'sing me a song'

after hes done he asks if you requested anything else, noting how tired you looked. but you just shook your head and tell him do whatever you want.

what you didnt expect him to hug you from behind. you couldnt see his face but youd assume its that blank face as always. only he knew that you were wrong.

it was face of pure adoration, a face that said 'you will never leave me' and he held tighter before saying to himself 'im in charge'

oh how you jumped around excitedly at this well behaved human! so sweet, like a cherry, they tried to have a conversation with you by asking "do you like making flower crowns?"

of course you havent who those this human think you are? but instead of saying something like that you shake your head and deny, before asking if they would teach you.

you make flower crowns with Mizi. you demanded to your guards any flowers she would ask for and bring batches of them to her before saying 'where do we start?'

shes happy at first but then you notice that she starts looking a bit sad, you ask her whats wrong and she looks at you with big eyes and says "when will i see my friends again?"

oh well with that sweet face how could you not take her to see her friends every day. and with a big smile she cheers and every day she makes new flower crowns or crafts for them.

'a few years later'

you start thinking 'maybe i spoiled her too much. maybe listening to her every request was a bad idea' as you cross your arms, on your custom designed chair in the center of the audience, the VIP section.

you stare as shes almost shot down by soldiers. you stare as shes taken away from you. you stare at the 'MISSING' message with her face plastered on it.

of course, you knew where she was. you had a tracker on all your pets. but for some reason, you let her run around. it wont be long until she realizes she wont have anyone left anymore.

it wont be long till she realizes she has no one else but you.

[bambi-kinos]

Thank you for your refreshingly honest comments about Yoko Ono. I find people’s sycophancy towards her and refusal to examine her behaviour a bit sickening, to be honest. There’s clearly an unspoken rule that Yoko is off limits, which is very strange, given that no other person or subject is. Anyway, what I would like to ask you is this: to what extent, if any, do you think Yoko was herself a victim? Did she simply find herself surrounded by bad people who manipulated her (the Sams, John Green, Fred Seaman, etc), or did she seek those people out to do her bidding? From what we know of the plan she made at the start with Tony and the fact that Dan Richter (a very unsettling character in the whole sordid tale) was an old friend who she brought in as part of that plan, I think the latter. But most people on here think she’s great and that she couldn’t help being mentally ill, so hey, maybe it’s just me and my cynicism that says she’s every bit as wicked as her ex-employees claim. What do you think?

When it comes to how Yoko is treated, there's genuinely a lot of nasty history there so fans on tumblr try to tread carefully. It's not an exaggeration that Yoko faced a lot of horrible racism when she was with John and there were even moments when John had to shield her from physical harm. And she was a lightning rod of criticism for lots of other reasons. Once John died she was essentially put in the role of "grieving widow" and boy howdy she milked that forever but it also meant that people were suddenly less willing to criticize her because they didn't want to add to her troubles.

Not to mention John and Yoko worked very hard to network with up and comers once they realized old hands like Ray Connelly wasn't going to play ball with them since they were too experienced. They created a lot of journalistic careers by making the right friends in the 1970s. Many media personalities feel indebted to them and would happily throw themselves in front of a car if Mommy Yoko and Daddy John don't suffer even a whiff of a papercut. When you read Eliot Mintz's book you realize that John and Yoko very deliberately targeted emotionally vulnerable people with empty lives and no strong parental figures so that they could become a quasi-family to them. That's what happened to poor Mintz, John would scream racial slurs at him (because Mintz is Jewish) and Mintz would just kind of. Stand there and take it while John screeched and squalled trying to pretend he was still a bigshot and not a drunkard in his 30s abusing his personal assistant. So much of the public bubble you've noticed is a result of John and Yoko's recruiting tactics. Celebrities usually get a level of protection but John and Yoko cynically courted and elevated the right people to wrap themselves in adamantium.

Fans try too hard to handle her lightly as a result of all the heat she took after marrying John, especially since a bit more is now known about her life and how she grew up and how her dad didn't treat her very well. I also think that there's an element of disbelief, like Yoko's crimes are insane and outlandish, no one wants to believe that they are true. And I know from personal experience that if you try to bring outlandish but true things to someone's attention about their favorite celebrity, you immediately get screaming and hysterics. Cult think is strong.

I don't think Beatle fans on tumblr necessarily buy in to excuses about mental illness and trauma but I do think that they're scared of being criticized or being accused of racism if they're too hard on Yoko. Tumblr users are uniquely vulnerable to that sort of thing because of this website's history and demographics so they take the easy route. I don't really blame them tbh, you never know when something is going to blow up in your face and who wants to court that trouble? There's no benefit to talking about Yoko's problems and abuse of John and Sean in depth since most people are just here for the fanart.

But to move on to your question: I think Yoko was an experienced con artist and manipulator with a genuine artistic vision but I also think she got in way over her head. Yoko's thing appears to have been that she and Tony would scam John with art pieces and that's why they did insane shit like making a contract to split the earnings they got from John 50/50. Get him to buy some plastic crap (that was quite literally all the rage in the 60s "zomg plastic!!!!") and then take the money and run. But I think Yoko sensed early that John was an easy mark and that he was someone she could pump and dump. I think that Yoko started seeing dollar signs and pursued John to get a bigger and bigger payday, she was chasing that dragon.

When it comes to the people Yoko was surrounded by, it's another case of her walking in with her eyes wide open but not realizing how completely in over her head she was. She very deliberately surrounded herself with con artists just like her because she thought it would be easier to control John and fortify her power over him. There were outliers like John Green/Charlie Swan where she believed his bullshit (the man is a masterful con artist) but she was convinced that she was much smarter and savvier than she really was and that she would see through any scams. She was blinded by her pride and never realized just how many rides she was taken for. Like IIRC Charlie Swan helped someone fence a fake painting to her that she paid millions for lol. They realized that she was an easy mark specifically because of her conviction that she was a worldly and experience player. Reader, she is not.

You can see this mindset during her life with John, they were hiring people off the street to work for them and never noticed they were being robbed blind. Like she and John were hoarders to the Nth degree, they bought all those extra condos in the Dakota specifically so that had storage units for all the useless shit they bought. Hundreds maybe thousands of shirts, pants, dresses, coats, scarves, jewelry, never worn and never catalogued, never looked after. Paintings and ancient artifacts stolen from Egypt on the black market, Yoko may have purchased as many as two different Egyptian mummies. Those people that they brought in from the street learned quickly that they could steal whatever they wanted and John and Yoko would never notice. A few of them were caught but there was one case where someone lifted 5 Hermès scarves from Yoko and she didn't notice for over a month and then dragged her heels on filing the police report. Because the Hermès scarves were not actually important since she had dozens of them in the storage apartments. I imagine the staff that stayed on learned quickly that they could steal freely so long as they were smart about it. God knows that's what I would do lmao.

But the point is that Yoko knowingly took in people who were willing to steal from her because she thought she could outsmart or control them, she had no idea how to defend against complicated tactics like "I'll put this in my bag and walk out with it at the end of my shift." I have the feeling John took the theft a lot more seriously than she did. Not that he was willing to do his bit and look after their collection of high end junk, I can't imagine what all their expensive clothes looked like after 10 years in that storage unit since neither of them protected them from pests.

Yoko willingly took these people on and invited them into her home. She and John thought they could use the likes of Charlie Swan and Fred Seaman and the Sams the same way they used journalists like Jann Wenner. What John and Yoko did not realize is that journalism is Hollywood for ugly people, that journalists are uniquely deficient in character or backbone and that journalists are always on the look out for a new Daddy and Mommy to pat them on the head and say "good job son!" Journalists and Hollywood actors are the same, they have holes in their chests were Mom's love and Dad's pride should be.

The problem for Yoko is that the scam artists she hired were extremely skilled, experienced, and ice cold. I love Charlie Swan's book Dakota Days and I believe every word of it (I can repost my review of it if you like) but especially because he coldly shows how childish and self absorbed John and Yoko really were. While they were faffing around doing rich people shit like flying around to random cities based on one guy's bespoke numerology, Charlie Swan grew up having to work for a living before getting into the astrology business. He knew what it was like to work difficult jobs for little money and even attended university and earned a degree in a time before universities became diploma mills. He was savvy and educated and lived an entire life before meeting John and Yoko, got spiritual fulfillment and assurance from his magickal practice. Charlie Swan did not have a hole in his chest where Mom's love and Dad's pride should be. Which meant he simply could not be manipulated the way a journalist can be manipulated. And Yoko Ono could not comprehend this and could do nothing about it. Nothing she said or did had any power over Charlie. She couldn't do anything to him and he frequently scammed her out of millions all while laughing up his sleeve. She thought she could control him but the truth is he had her completely under his thumb. Kind of amazing actually.

The thing that has always baffled me about Yoko is how easy it is to kick her around and stand up to her. John Lennon too as a matter of fact, I don't understand this handwringing and moaning and fear around his "great wit." I grew up on 4chan, I know people who could turn John inside out with a well placed photoshop. It's genuinely baffling to me that Yoko and John were not savagely and relentlessly bullied. They should have been. It lead John and Yoko to develop inflated egos where they thought they were genuinely intimidating. They never realized how pathetic and easily taken in they were because everyone else found it more useful and lucrative to scam them. It's fascinating that Yoko willingly brought these people into her life with John and never once realized that there was a problem.

[mrs-starkgaryen]

Well, well, well, dissecting time just so I can remind Maggie that I am in her walls (thanks you've passed your illness onto me)

1. "Afterwards, Mason pulls his clothes back on as you are absentmindedly drawing stars in the steam on the windows of his Chevy Silverado."

A) Even at home, she's dreaming/ thinking about the stars (Hollywood stars)

2. "It was good, not that you finished; you didn’t say anything, he didn’t ask, but even if he had you would have told him not to worry about it. It can take forever, especially with an audience. You’d rather wait until you’re alone."

A) Don't worry baby girl, Aegon is gonna make you finish in front of him and I'll you'll love it

3. Mason smirks and taunts: “I don’t know, with the way you talk about him you sound kind of obsessed.”

A) we all are Mason, shut up

4. “You ever feel like people are the best versions of themselves before you really know them? Then you get too close and all the cracks start showing.”

A) well I didn't like that foreshadowing

B) she's gonna get close to Aegon and we know he's a messed up man 😭

C) I'll she'll still love him though

5. “And it’s only until the end of the year,” your father adds. “Then the vacation is over.” Then the meager allowance they are funneling to you will stop and you will be ordered to return home to pursue an honorable course of existence. You have six months to succeed in Hollywood, or the dream dies."

A) Or when Aegon dies...

B) Maggie, are you in my walls? This is my family 😭

6. “Well, regardless of whatever you have going on in California, you’ll either have to get them done now or after you have children,” Mom says. “I love you and Clara and Tripp, but you destroyed my body. At least doctors can repair breasts. My bladder is still useless."

A) mother? What you doing here, loca?

B) how Sunshine is so sunny, idk. I guess you have to have rain to appreciate the sun

C) no wonder she think she needs plastic surgery- not just for Hollywood but she probably feels like she needs to live up to her parents expectations somehow (cuz she feels like she is disappointing them with her choice of job?)

7. Outside the sun is setting, and you gaze westward as the aging daylight turns the tall green grass and silhouettes of horses to gold like the mines that first brought settlers to California. You slide your phone out of the pocket of your denim shorts and take a photo, then post it to your Instagram story with the caption Home and a smiley face emoji.

A) Sunshines reminder that social media is fake lmao

B) but this is a mood- it gives crying whilst doing a thumbs up picture 😭👍🤳

Also those dogs? I love dogs but these ones are scary! The family and the dogs seem to hate her?! My God. Are they picking up on the family hostility to her?

If they don't shape up, unlike the bats- I won't mind if Jace steps on one of these.. (jk)

8. A minute later, you receive a DM. Aegon has typed: This explains the big horse girl energy

A) Aegon ever heard of playing it cool?

B) damn he's down bad

9. You have just finished ringing up a Like It-sized Apple Pie A La Cold Stone when Josh says: “Hey, there’s an old guy asking for you."

A) oh an old man, imagine if he meant Aegon-

B) HE DID! Mf ain't old

C) I also squealed like she did when I recognised the shoes 🥰

10. When Aegon begins to pull it away, you grab his hand and don’t let go until you’ve licked the spoon clean. He laughs hysterically as he watches you. “I haven’t had strawberry ice cream in forever,” you say.

A) and if I say 👀

B) foreshadowing...

C) also hello Simon Bassett from Bridgerton?

11. “Don’t tell me you’re a vanilla girl.”

A) for now Aegon...

B) He will show her the different flavours

C) also could symbolise that she is kinda naive and then as the story progresses- she's not so sweet anymore 😀

13. “It’s small,” Aegon warns. “It’s an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.”

A) said every man ever 😉😂

B) ooh will she be in season 56, episode 28?

14. “Because once you begin to treat scalpels and needles as prescriptions for everything you don’t like about yourself—or everything that other people don’t like about you—..... that are carving away your humanity one incision at a time. I’ve seen it happen to more people than I could count, and I don’t want it to happen to you. Because you seem very, very human, and I’d like you to stay that way. Which means you don’t cut yourself up because some agent or producer or casting director told you to.” Then he adds, perhaps as an afterthought: “And anyway, you don’t need implants.”

A) did he have to do something to make people (or him) like himself more?

B) omg did his dad make or encourage his siblings/ family to change to become more famous, to carry on his legacy in Hollywood? Did Aemond try and change himself and now he's took a step back into scriptwriting cuz atleast then he can control his own story?

C) she's gonna lose or nearly lose her humanity in this industry, I can see it. It's gonna break her down and then Aegon and her have feel better sex..

15. “Always so agreeable,” Aegon muses. So desperate is more like it.

A).... need I say more

16. “The Chinese zodiac. You’re a horse. So you’re the only horse I like.”

A) you're killing me

B) she's gonna like riding this horse 😭 (I'll let myself out)

17. His face is some amalgamation of emotions you can’t read, and this is unusual.“Why do you think I paid in cash?”

A) either becca is crazy

B) or his family are and they'll update becca

C) or both. Like I said before- maybe they set him up wirh becca to calm him down, to make him (the targaryens) look good in the papers

18. “I got you a vanilla latte, vanilla girl.”

A) a possible other nickname?

B) all her nicknames are cute and sunny, like her until this industry snuffs it out 😀

19. Then you are in the scenes under intensely radiant artificial light, and just like it did in your roles back in Minnesota, the real world vanishes and all that exists are these characters, these moments, and your body and mind become theirs, and perhaps even your soul too. Your husband is handsome and kind, and here in this liminal fictional space you love him, and when the surgeons wheel him off to the operating room you are full of blind naïve surety. Then the doctors update you on his condition and you are still hopeful, but it becomes a fragile thing, like something that shatters when it’s dropped from a height. And then he is dead, he has been taken away from you, he has been stolen, and you are eclipsed by a blood-red wrath that is animalistic and unforgiving. After each take when you are ripped back through the veil and into reality, you can’t remember exactly what you did or said, and the director doesn’t have many critiques so you aren’t sure how it’s going.

A) This whole thing felt like a summary for the story

B) at first she's whisked away in a world of Hollywood: glitter and glammer. She's "full of blind naive surety"..

C) Then it's she's less so but she still tries to be optimistic? As she realises this is not what she signed up for

D) husband is dead, Aegon is dead? Then she's full of rage

E) under artificial light? The Hollywood spotlight..

F) she starts to give them her body (plastic surgery), her mind (she starts to doubt and panic in fame) and then her soul (Hollywood kills her optimism and dream)

Also- Are the eyeshadows representing things?

A) In the first chapter she had shimmery, pink, warm brown eyeshadow (showing that she is warm, positive and sparkling with a dream, it's all new).

B) when she's with Mason, it's sparkly black. Like she's not 100% with him but that's okay because she still has her dream that she's gonna be able to be an actress and subconsciously be with someone better...

C) in the ice cream shop, she has bright pink- so bright in optimism still and pink meaning flirtatious feelings for Aegon?

Idk, all this is my crazy mind and I love whatever you come out with!

A Curse [Chapter 2: Harbor Gateway]

A/N: Thank you for the warm welcome you have given this series!!! I am sick with bronchitis currently so this has been a big bright spot in an otherwise miserable week 😅 I can't wait to show you where this story is going, I hope you're ready for it 🥰💜

Series summary: You are an aspiring actress. Aegon is a washed-up and disenchanted agent...at least until he sees something special in you. But within paradisical seaside Los Angeles you find terrible dangers and temptations, secrets and lies. Maybe Aegon's right; maybe the City of Angels really is a curse.

Chapter warnings: Language, a tiny bit of sexual content (18+ readers only), age-gap relationship, entertainment industry misogyny, some body dissatisfaction/dysmorphia, ice cream, judgmental parents, aggressive Akitas, we're literally in Minnesota!!!

Word count: 6.1k

💜 All my writing can be found HERE! 💜

Tagging: @lauraneedstochill @mrs-starkgaryen @chattylurker @neithriddle @ecstaticactus, more in comments! 🥰

🏝️ Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist 🏝️

Afterwards, Mason pulls his clothes back on as you are absentmindedly drawing stars in the steam on the windows of his Chevy Silverado. On the other side of the glass is inky Minnesota night, a full moon dissolving away, glowing freckles of constellations. You’re staying with your parents and Mason has roommates, so the truck was the expedient choice. It was good, not that you finished; you didn’t say anything, he didn’t ask, but even if he had you would have told him not to worry about it. It can take forever, especially with an audience. You’d rather wait until you’re alone.

Mason glances down at the used condom on the floor of his Silverado, hastily discarded, viscerally slick in a way that becomes sickening in the letdown, as the endorphins and the adrenaline slip away and the blood pumps slow and unclouded. He smirks as he asks: “You sure you don’t want to get back on the pill?”

You sigh, drawing another star. You are still naked and sprawled across the back seat, glistening with sweat in the moonlight. “Well I tried three different prescriptions and had three miserable experiences, and I’m really not interested in playing side effect roulette again. And I can’t risk my skin going insane and random bleeding when I’m running around all over L.A. trying to get parts.”

“What about that little sperm assassin T-shaped thing?”

You look at him. “An IUD?”

“Yeah.”

You wince, engraving another star into the steam on the window. “I don’t think I like the idea of having a piece of metal shoved up inside me.”

He laughs. “But you’ll get silicone implants?”

You shrug; you can’t deny the irony. “I don’t need an IUD to be an actress.”

“Look, I’m not complaining about the tits thing,” Mason says, holding up his hands. “Obviously I’d enjoy them too. And you’d still have them when you move home, so it’s not a waste even if the acting thing doesn’t work out.”

You already know he feels this way, and yet still, it hurts. “When I move home?”

He smiles and crawls back on top of you, his Carleton College hoodie whispering against your belly and chest, soft royal blue cotton on damp skin. He had been a Political Science and International Relations major who took Theater Arts 195: Acting Shakespeare for an arts credit. He was beyond terrible and had no appreciation for the field whatsoever, but he was tall and strong and jolly, an earnest corn-fed Midwestern boy, and when one day after class he’d asked if he could take you to Culver’s for a burger and frozen custard, you’d said yes.

Here and now, in the back seat of his Chevy Silverado, Mason kisses your forehead. Then he ghosts his thumb over the ridge of your orbital socket and cheekbone, where your dark glittery eyeshadow has smudged like a spreading bruise: Galaxy by Anastasia Beverly Hills, Elysian by Natasha Denona. “I’m not saying you aren’t good. But how many people on this planet get to be movie stars? It’s just not realistic. And it’s about so much more than talent. It’s about who you know, and luck, and chemistry, and looks, and a bunch of other things that are mostly out of your control. You’re never going to be the type of girl who’s an influencer or winning Miss America, you’re just not. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t very, very pretty. And I loved you anyway.”

Loved, past tense. You and Mason stopped using that word a year ago; now the nostalgia is painting memories like the walls of an old house. His memories, anyway. You sit up and start yanking on your clothes: oversized yellow Santa Monica crewneck, black sweatpants with elastic cuffs at the ankles. “I think I’m going to get the gummy bear implants.”

Mason licks his lips. “Yum.”

“They’re a type of silicone, but they’re supposed to feel more natural and be less dangerous if they rupture.”

“Will you have scars?” he says as if the notion has just occurred to him, troubled, perhaps a little revolted.

“Well yeah, they have to end up under my skin somehow.”

Mason shudders, then he has another thought. “Who’s going to take care of you after surgery when you’re all sore and zonked out on opioids?”

“My roommate Baela said she would. She’s had friends who have gone through it already.”

“Okay, good. I wouldn’t want you to be alone out there.” Mason touches the back of your head, a quick fond gesture. He’s the only man you’ve ever been with, and even that took a while, months of trying to envision him undressing you before you were sure you could do it without flinching, without being afraid or shy or bewildered. But in the end it had been easy, always easy, which is why you keep coming back to him like a comet. Your elliptical orbit takes you far away and then close again, and such natural patterns are effortless to keep.

You say, the edges of your lips curling into a furtive smile: “I’m definitely not alone.”

Mason groans. “You’re going to hook up with that new agent guy, aren’t you?”

“What? No! No way, he has a fiancée.”

He rolls his eyes, but he’s more amused than annoyed. “Okay, whatever.”

“You know I don’t date anyone.” Which is why each time you’re home visiting, Mason gets a text: Want to get lunch at Culver’s? or Can you drive me to Target? or Pick me up around 9 p.m.?

Mason smirks and taunts: “I don’t know, with the way you talk about him you sound kind of obsessed.”

“I’m just grateful. Someone finally gave me a chance.” You look to the window; the steam and your hand-drawn stars have evaporated away. “And yeah, he’s interesting and he’s cute, and he’s kind of mean but then unexpectedly caring sometimes, and I think he’s one of those people who are really good at what they do but only when they’re inspired…but that doesn’t mean I’m into him romantically.” A pause. “And even if I was, there’s no harm in a super-secret, one-sided crush.”

“Okay. Have fun with all the adulterous sex.”

You chuckle. “Thanks, but that is not the plan.” You slip on your flip-flops, shimmy out of the back seat, and trot around the Silverado to the passenger’s door. Mason climbs into the driver’s seat and turns his key in the ignition. You ask: “What happened to that ballerina girl who was in your Instagram stories for a while?”

“Had to ghost her, she got super clingy and controlling. She was texting me at work all the time and got pissed off when I was putting a ton of hours into that election thing for CNN.” Mason is a political analyst. He turns to you. “You ever feel like people are the best versions of themselves before you really know them? Then you get too close and all the cracks start showing.”

“I think people are wonderful. You just have to find the ones you click with.”

“I should have figured you’d say something like that.” He steers his truck out of the otherwise empty parking lot in Lac Lavon Park. “I’m looking forward to you being home again.”

“I’m not.”

You both laugh, and then Mason drives you to your parents’ house.

At the dining room table, Mom and Clara are researching wedding venues, vast countryside estates and metropolitan historic hotels. Clara got engaged two weeks ago during a vacation to Turks and Caicos. In the living room, Dad and Tripp are watching commentary on the NBA Finals. Tripp’s name isn’t really Tripp; he is the third James in a row, named after your father and grandfather, and Tripp is short for triple. All over the house, there are Akitas lolling in plush dog beds and clicking around on Brazilian Cherry hardwood floors. They have faces like teddy bears, but their dark eyes track you mistrustfully, as if you are an intruder.

No one asks where you have been. They barely acknowledge that you are back. “Hello, dear,” your mother calls distractedly from the dining room, and that’s all. You jog upstairs to the bathroom you share with Clara before anyone can notice your smeared makeup and the unsavory post-car-sex sweat gleaming on your skin. You get into the shower, turn on water so hot it is nearly scalding, and close your eyes. With your back pressed to the jade green tiles, your hand wanders down over your belly and stops between your legs. Your mind cycles through fantasies, but nothing seems to be working.

It’s not real. It can’t hurt anybody.

You imagine that Aegon is the one touching you, and in under a minute it’s over.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I want there to be horses,” Clara says, scrolling through her phone and ignoring the food on her plate: roast chicken, homemade mashed potatoes, green beans sauteed in garlic and olive oil, panzanella salad. Mom prepared it all herself, not because there was no help available—your parents have a housekeeper named Angela who comes by several days per week—but to prove she could. In the living room are shelves heavy with books by Martha Stewart, Ina Garten, Cat Cora, Julia Child, Nigella Lawson. You hear echoes of ambient clicking, Akitas meandering down hallways and staircases.

“Horses?!” Tripp replies with a mouthful of mashed potatoes, gesturing to the sliding glass door. “Don’t you get enough horses in your everyday life? Don’t you have like five right out there?” Your parents’ house sits on ten acres of land, including a barn and several paddocks for Clara’s rescued Thoroughbreds.

“I want beautiful horses,” Clara insists. “Unusual, photogenic, so they can be in the background of all the photos. Maybe Friesians or Haflingers?”

“I’m not sure we can sort the venues by types of horses available, dear,” Mom says. All that’s on her own plate is a heap of green beans and a few pieces of skinless white meat chicken.

Clara moans and drops her face into her hands. “It’s so overwhelming!”

“You’ll find a place you like, Clara Bear,” Dad says mildly, painstakingly slicing meat off a drumstick with his fork and knife.

“And Owen is no help at all. Every time I ask for his opinion he just tells me to do whatever I think is best, but I don’t know what’s best, that’s why I’m asking him!”

Your mother pats Clara’s shoulder reassuringly. “Guys don’t care about weddings,” Tripp says, twisting around in his chair to see the television in the living room. On a rerun of E! News, the hosts are discussing Chris Hemsworth’s rigorous fitness regime and Meghan Trainor’s “mommy makeover.” You peek under the tablecloth. One of the Akitas, Yuki, is glaring as she waits for you to drop something for her to eat.

“You could do something like that,” Mom says to you, and you realize you haven’t been listening to the conversation.

“Sorry, do what?”

“You could be a wedding planner or a real estate agent. Those are actual careers, but there’s more creativity involved, isn’t there? And didn’t you take a design class in college? That would certainly come in handy.”

“Hm,” your father says with a frown, still dissecting his chicken. He would rather you go to law school like Tripp. You would rather lie down in traffic.

“I took a set design class, Mom. Because I was studying how to be an actress. And that’s what I’m doing right now in Los Angeles, trying to be an actress.”

“You could become an architect!” Mom bursts out with sudden enthusiasm. “Wouldn’t that be fun?”

You titter evasively. “I can’t draw, Mom. Or use the modeling software, or do math.”

“You know, you don’t need any specific degree to get into law school,” Tripp says, and your father gives him a nod of approval. “You could have majored in dance or bagpiping or Egyptology, it doesn’t matter. All they want is a high undergrad GPA and a 168+ LSAT score, and I bet you could get that if you studied. You can even retake the test a few times if you need to.”

“Why do you do that?” Clara snaps at him. You eat your panzanella salad and pretend not to be listening. Beneath the tablecloth, Yuki growls. You toss her a few cubes of Italian bread so she won’t bite you.

Tripp shovels mashed potatoes into his mouth. “Do what?”

“Why are you always wasting your time trying to convince her to grow up and get a real job? If she wants to embarrass herself, let her. I have problems that I’m trying to solve, so how about applying yourself to those instead?”

“Are you serious? You think I should be calling around to wedding venues asking about their selection of exotic draft horses?”

Clara aggressively stabs at her green beans with her fork. “Fuck off, Tripp.”

“Hey, hey, kids, no swearing,” your mother says. “It’s Father’s Day. Be respectful.”

Dad turns to you. “You could be an entertainment lawyer, how about that? You could work in intellectual property or negotiating contracts.”

You smile warily. “I’ll think about it, Dad.”

Clara says to your parents: “Well I hope all the money you’re throwing out the window to support her in California isn’t coming out of my wedding fund.”

You close your eyes and think: I can’t spend my life in a cubical. I can’t spend every minute of every day trying to forget who I am.

“Shh, shh,” your mother pleads, rubbing the back of Clara’s clenched hand. “You will get exactly what we promised you, that amount is still set aside for your wedding. Nothing she does affects you.”

“And it’s only until the end of the year,” your father adds. “Then the vacation is over.” Then the meager allowance they are funneling to you will stop and you will be ordered to return home to pursue an honorable course of existence. You have six months to succeed in Hollywood, or the dream dies.

Your father is now asking Tripp about his summer associate position at Latham & Watkins in Chicago. Your mother is advising Clara to get a wedding dress with a corset back so it can be adjusted in the event she gains or loses weight at the last minute. Underneath the table, Yuki is growling again; she noses your knees threateningly.

“I got an agent,” you say, and everyone looks at you.

“Really?” Mom asks, sounding a little perplexed.

“Who is it?” Dad says.

“Aegon Targaryen. He has a small office in Elysian Park.”

“Oh, I think I recognize the last name.”

“His family is in the industry.” You are beaming; you can feel the heat rising in your face. “But Aegon kind of does his own thing and tries to stay out of the limelight. He was an actor when he was my age. And I guess he thinks I can get roles, so that’s really exciting.”

Your mother seems concerned as she nibbles at a shred of white meat. “Is he an older man?”

“Not that much older. He’s thirty-five.”

“Well, be careful, darling,” your father says gravely. “Who knows what his intentions are.”

Clara evidently agrees. “Men can be so creepy. I had this one professor in pharmacy school who cheated on his wife with one student, then cheated on her six months later with a different student. And then he retired to Boca Raton and was never heard from again.”

“Oh, that reminds me!” Tripp says to your father. “We read about Clinton v. Jones in torts class, it was wild, I didn’t know he was such a freak even before the Monica Lewinsky thing…”

After dinner, while your father and Tripp are flipping through television channels in the living room and Clara is upstairs on the phone with Owen, you go to the kitchen where your mother is washing dishes in a bubble-filled sink. Again, she doesn’t have to do this; Angela will be here to clean the house tomorrow. But it’s part of being a perfect homemaker, and if she’s not good at this then she’s not good at anything.

She glances over when she hears you come in. “Did you get an appointment with one of the doctors your father recommended?”

“I did, yeah. I have a consultation on Friday.” You lean against the marble countertop and cross your arms so you don’t fidget nervously. From a dog bed on the floor, Mochi glowers at you. “Do you think I should get the surgery?”

She shrugs; you’re not certain if she is more indecisive or apathetic. “Your cousin Madison had a nose job the summer before college. Your old classmate Emma got a blepharoplasty and then met her husband three months later. Practically all of my friends have had breast augmentations, and I’ve certainly never regretted mine. I think if you’re going to get anything fixed, it makes sense to pick that.”

You try again to elicit a strong opinion, whether an endorsement or objection. “I don’t think I’d want to do it if I didn’t feel like it was necessary to be an actress.”

“Well, regardless of whatever you have going on in California, you’ll either have to get them done now or after you have children,” Mom says. “I love you and Clara and Tripp, but you destroyed my body. At least doctors can repair breasts. My bladder is still useless.”

You stare at Mochi distractedly. The dog huffs, unwelcoming. “What was the recovery like?”

“Oh, hell,” your mother says. “But once you heal up it’s worth it. I can wear square necklines and strapless dresses again.”

“Technically, you could have worn whatever you wanted.”

She gives you an impatient look, a you’re too old for that sort of frustration. “No one wants to see some sad flabby woman.” She is including your father in this statement. You remember being home for Thanksgiving Break during your freshman year at Carleton and inadvertently stumbling upon emails from one of the hospital interns when you used his laptop to buy movie tickets: indecent inuendoes, flirtatious photos, no smoking gun but certainly more than was appropriate between colleagues. You had tried to tell your mother, and she had deflected over and over again until you realized that she didn’t want to know; it was easier to be carried by the currents of momentum than to rock the boat until it sank. “This agent of yours…is he celebrating Father’s Day with his family?”

“No, Aegon lost his dad when he was in college.”

“That must have been difficult,” she says vaguely as she scrubs a pot with a green Scotch-Brite dish wand. Your parents are now at the age when their friends have begun to succumb to strokes and heart disease and cancers, and the lurking specter of mortality both horrifies and fascinates them. “What did he die of?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Mom?!” Clara shouts from upstairs. “Osaka is puking in the hallway!”

Your mother sighs and dries her hands on a dish towel, then leaves you alone in the kitchen. You linger there for a while, listening to the faint drone of CNN from the living room television, then leave the house through the sliding glass door in the dining room. Outside the sun is setting, and you gaze westward as the aging daylight turns the tall green grass and silhouettes of horses to gold like the mines that first brought settlers to California. You slide your phone out of the pocket of your denim shorts and take a photo, then post it to your Instagram story with the caption Home and a smiley face emoji.

A minute later, you receive a DM. Aegon has typed: This explains the big horse girl energy

You laugh and respond: They belong to my sister, I am personally very anti-horse

You hope he’ll continue the conversation. You don’t have to wait long. How’s Minnesota? Aegon asks.

You stop and consider how to answer, then decide not to overshare. Devoid of palm trees…but good!

There is a pause—perhaps thirty seconds—and then Aegon types: How’s the ex-boyfriend?

Is he curious or jealous? You smile. Still not standing in the way of anything :)

Aegon reacts with a heart emoji, then immediately switches it to a thumbs-up. You cannot ignore the wave of warmth and fondness and exhilaration that overwhelms you. Logically, you know he’s engaged to another woman. Emotionally, it doesn’t seem relevant.

You think: It’s just a crush. It can’t hurt anybody.

Then you remember what your mother asked, and as you stand outside in the fading dusk light you Google Aegon’s father Viserys Targaryen. He has his own Wikipedia page. You scroll to the bottom, where it reads in nondescript black letters: On October 27, 2009, Targaryen passed away at his Malibu residence after a long illness.

~~~~~~~~~~

You have just finished ringing up a Like It-sized Apple Pie A La Cold Stone when Josh says: “Hey, there’s an old guy asking for you.”

“What?” You look towards the ice cream freezer and there he is, dark jeans, green Nike Killshots, a yellow Hawaiian shirt that’s too big for him. “It’s my agent!” you shout as you rush over to meet him, loud enough that everyone in the shop turns to stare.

“Shh,” Aegon says, but he’s laughing.

“What are you doing here?” you ask from behind the counter.

“I got some good news, and I wanted to tell you in person.”

“Cool! Should I make you ice cream first?”

“Um, sure.” Aegon surveys the menu of Signature Creations. He seems overwhelmed; he actually looks a little panicked.

“Are you usually a chocolate or vanilla person? Or peanut butter, or coffee? Or mint?”

“Strawberry,” Aegon says.

“Strawberry,” you echo, surprised. “Okay, I think you’ll like Our Strawberry Blonde.”

“Neat.”

“Because, you know, it has strawberries and you’re blonde.”

“Sounds literally perfect for me,” Aegon says, smiling.

“What size?”

“Uh…” He reads the labels on the cups in the display case. “The big one.”

“No, you have to say the real name.”

He chuckles. His cheeks are pink, his turbulent blue eyes sparkling. “I’m not saying that.”

“Then I’m not making you ice cream!”

He groans. “I want an Our Strawberry Blonde in the size Gotta Have It.”

“Cup, cone, or waffle cone bowl?”

“Stop asking me questions or you’re fired.”

“Waffle cone bowl,” you decide. Aegon studies you as you work, his head tilted thoughtfully to the side: scraping a mound of strawberry ice cream out of the freezer with your metal spatulas, taking it to the cold countertop, and smashing in graham cracker pie crust, caramel, fluffy whipped topping, and fresh strawberries. You use one of the spatulas to expertly scoop the mixture into a waffle cone bowl, not spilling a drop. Then you hand Aegon his ice cream and ring him up at the cash register. He pays in cash.

You ask Josh, the manager on duty, if you can take your fifteen-minute break now. He frowns. “I thought you were going to refill the yellow cake and Oreo cookie mix-ins first.”

“Hey,” Aegon says. He waves a ten-dollar bill in the air to show it to Josh and then dunks it in the tip jar. “Do it yourself.”

“Fine,” Josh mutters to you. “But you don’t get a second over fifteen minutes.”

There’s no time to waste. You hurry to a small table by the window. It’s 8:30 p.m., and outside the world is indigo-dark and threaded with inorganic sparks of headlights, streetlights, kaleidoscopic neon signs. Your eyeshadow is vibrant and pink, because no one cares about that when you work at an ice cream shop: Push by Natasha Denona, Coax by Urban Decay.

Aegon takes his first taste of his ice cream as he sits down in the chair across from you. “You were right, this is delicious. A bop, not a flop.” Then he notices the bruise on your right wrist. “What the hell happened to your hand?”

“Oh. One of the Akitas bit me. Don’t worry, I can cover it up with concealer.”

Aegon is irritated. “Why is your mother letting her Akitas bite you?”

“It was my fault. I forgot that Oni doesn’t like when people pet his feet.”

Aegon sighs, stirring his Our Strawberry Blonde. “You want some of this?”

“I can’t,” you say reluctantly.

He raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean you can’t?”

“I already had a little cup when I got here this afternoon so I have regrettably hit my ice cream quota for the day.” And then, when Aegon clearly does not approve: “I try not to restrict too much but obviously staying the same size takes effort. That’s not a disorder, it’s just reality.”

Aegon seems to debate arguing, then instead scoops up a heaping spoonful of ice cream and holds it out across the table. “Come on. It doesn’t count if it’s on my spoon.”

You smile sheepishly and open your mouth for him. Your lips close around the plastic spoon: coldness, sweetness, the grit of pulverized graham cracker pie crust, the infinitesimal black seeds of strawberries that catch between your teeth. When Aegon begins to pull it away, you grab his hand and don’t let go until you’ve licked the spoon clean. He laughs hysterically as he watches you. “I haven’t had strawberry ice cream in forever,” you say.

“Don’t tell me you’re a vanilla girl.”

“I am,” you confess. “I know the joke. But I really do always get the vanilla-adjacent flavors. Cookie dough, French vanilla, sweet cream, cheesecake…”

Aegon smirks playfully. “Pathetic.”

“So you’re an enlightened being because you eat strawberry ice cream.”

“Boring people like vanilla. Kids like chocolate. Interesting adults like strawberry.”

“Do you actually have good news for me or did you just come here to be a ghoul?”

“I got you a part.”

“What?!” you squeal, and people are gawking again. This time, Aegon doesn’t tell you to be quiet. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” he replies, grinning like he can’t help it.

“A part in what?”

“It’s small,” Aegon warns. “It’s an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.”

You scream; Josh scowls at you from behind the counter. “Oh my God, no way, no way!”

“You’re going to be the wife of a guy the doctors kill with negligence. Three scenes, two are pretty short and unremarkable but then you get to yell at the surgeon in the last one. Gives you the opportunity to show some range and make an impression.”

You can’t believe this is happening. “They aren’t going to make me audition first?”

“Well…it’s very last-minute,” Aegon says. “The actress who was supposed to do it has a drug problem or something, I guess, so she ghosted and they were scrambling for a replacement. And I completely fabricated your credentials.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah, I typed up a resume and sent it over and they loved it. So try not to talk about your actual experience because none of it will match.”

You shake your head, stunned, amazed. “What if they try to contact one of my alleged former employers?”

“Then they’ll be talking to Aemond, and he will lie and say you were an absolute pleasure to work with.”

Aemond Targaryen: Aegon’s younger brother, a screenwriter, a philanthropist, a well-respected entity in Hollywood, and you know this from the Googling that preceded your first meeting with Aegon last week. “And Aemond doesn’t mind helping you commit fraud?”

“It’s not a favor I call in very often.” Aegon finishes his ice cream, then begins breaking apart the waffle cone bowl and shoving shard-like pieces into his mouth.

“When’s the shoot?”

“Very very early on Thursday, that’s the bad news.” Thursday is two days from now. “So I’ll have to pick you up at your apartment at like 5 a.m.”

“That’s fine. I’ll be ready.”

He smiles, gnawing on a chunk of his waffle cone bowl. “I figured.”

“You’re going too?” The hope is unmistakable in your voice.

“Of course I’m going.”

“I didn’t think agents usually went to film shoots.”

“Well, fortunately for you, your agent is imminently fleeing Los Angeles and has already parted ways with most of his clients and really has nothing else going on besides hiding in his office and playing a Nintendo 64, so I figured I could make it. And also if I’m going to be enthusiastically recommending you to people, I should probably see you work at some point.”

You wiggle your eyebrows flirtatiously. “Do I get to make out with my fake husband?”

Aegon is amused. “From what I understand, you get to chastely kiss him once. They’re sending the script over to my office first thing in the morning, so you’ll only have a day to learn your lines.”

“That’s enough time. I’ll make it work.”

“Always so agreeable,” Aegon muses. So desperate is more like it.

Thursday. “Is the shoot just one day?”

“Yeah, they should be able to get everything they need from you on Thursday morning. Why?”

“I have a doctor’s appointment on Friday and I was just wondering if I’d have to reschedule it.”

Aegon is immediately vigilant. “What kind of appointment?”

“Uh…” You smirk guiltily. “It’s just a consultation. No slicing yet.”

“And you’re going to cancel that,” Aegon says flatly.

“Seriously?”

“Do you want implants because you want them or because you think other people want you to have them?”

You hesitate. “Both.” That’s probably a lie.

Aegon leans back in his chair and studies you. “Yeah, you’re cancelling that appointment.”

“Why?”

“Because when I agreed to sign you, you told me that you’d do anything I say. And I’m telling you to cancel it.”

“But why don’t you want me to get implants? Everyone gets implants.”

“Because once you begin to treat scalpels and needles as prescriptions for everything you don’t like about yourself—or everything that other people don’t like about you—it’s very difficult to stop. First it’s your tits, then it’s your eyes and your nose, then it’s your chin and your cheeks and your neck and your ass, and it’s just this revolving door of painful, dangerous, unnecessary procedures that are condemning you for being mortal, that are carving away your humanity one incision at a time. I’ve seen it happen to more people than I could count, and I don’t want it to happen to you. Because you seem very, very human, and I’d like you to stay that way. Which means you don’t cut yourself up because some agent or producer or casting director told you to.” Then he adds, perhaps as an afterthought: “And anyway, you don’t need implants.”

You smile, then reply quietly: “You’ve never seen me.”

Aegon grins. “I don’t care if you have twelve nipples under there like a fucking beagle, you don’t need plastic surgery.”

You both laugh, and the tension evaporates, and even if you don’t cancel the appointment—Aegon is one person, the entertainment industry is omnipotent and eternal—you are glad he seems to like you the way you are. Behind the counter, Josh is waving manically to get your attention and summon you to return to work. You pretend not to see him.

Aegon asks: “Why don’t you like horses?”

“They freak me out. They’re all teeth and legs and they’re huge, I’m always scared they’ll step on me.”

“Your dad’s a doctor, right? I thought all rich girls had horses.”

“Where I’m from, a lot of women ride horses to distract themselves from the fact that their husbands are riding their receptionists or interns. I’d rather have no horse and no awful cheating husband.” And Aegon stares at you and turns serious, because perhaps you’ve inadvertently addressed the elephant in the room: he has a fiancée, and neither of you are acting like she exists. You swiftly pivot. “I’ll make an exception for you, though.”

He appears startled. “What?”

“The Chinese zodiac. You’re a horse. So you’re the only horse I like.”

“Oh, yeah. Right.” Aegon chuckles uneasily and gets up to throw his trash away, then stands under the florescent lights with his hands in his pockets, his blonde hair falling out of its gel and hanging over his forehead. He gazes down at you pensively; you are still seated at the table. “When does your shift end?”

“I’m closing tonight, so I’ll be done around 10:30 or 11.”

“Okay. Can I come back to pick you up and drive you home?”

You are puzzled. “Why?”

He gestures to the inky dark window, incredulous. “Because obviously you shouldn’t be walking alone in Harbor Gateway at midnight? You know there was a shooting a block from here last week. I looked it up.”

“I walk home all the time.”

“You really need to stop doing that.”

“You are being very dramatic for a non-actor.”

“Listen, I can’t go to my house and try to fall asleep while I’m wondering if you’re getting mugged or murdered.”

You look at Aegon. He does seem genuinely worried. “You can drive me home.”

“Great. See you in two hours.” He strides away and shoves open the glass door; the little metal bells hanging there jingle.

“Aegon?”

He halts mid-step and turns around. “Yeah?”

“Does Becca know where you are right now?”

His face is some amalgamation of emotions you can’t read, and this is unusual.“Why do you think I paid in cash?”

And before you can reply, he’s gone.

~~~~~~~~~~

On Thursday, June 19th, Aegon picks you up in his white Chrysler Sebring convertible while the city is still asleep. The sky is dark, the streetlights passing by overhead, infinite pinpoint supernovas. There are hardly any other cars on the road. Aegon’s hair is a mess and his eyes are bleary; he’s sipping a Starbucks coffee with one hand and holding the steering wheel with the other. He is wearing a suit, but he still manages to look unpolished, his white shirt half-untucked and his black tie too skinny. He sets his coffee down in one of the cup holders and passes you something venti-sized and iced.

“I got you a vanilla latte, vanilla girl.”

“Aw, thanks! Skim milk?”

“Nope,” he says, smiling. You smile back and take a gulp of it, cold and sweet and bracing. “What’s your hype song?”

“I can’t tell you,” you say, embarrassed.

“Why not?”

“You’re going to terrorize me.”

“Don’t Stop Believing? Don’t Stop Me Now? I Gotta Feeling?”

“Lose Yourself.”

Aegon throws back his head and cackles, his hair flying in the wind. “That’s definitely a fireable offense. I’m ditching you the second we finish this shoot.” But he taps around on his phone and plugs in the aux, and then Eminem is thudding through the speakers as the Sebring sails north and the red-gold dawn rises on the horizon, a celestial message from the East Coast, an omen from the future.

Aegon drives you to Prospect Studios in Los Feliz, just east of Hollywood. Filming will be indoors on a soundstage. You spend what feels like forever in hair and makeup, and the costume designer—who had prepared for a different actress—dresses and redresses you over and over again, frowning at your chest and waist and thighs, and you have a sudden pang of nauseating panic and dread: I don’t belong here. What the fuck was I thinking?

Then you are in the scenes under intensely radiant artificial light, and just like it did in your roles back in Minnesota, the real world vanishes and all that exists are these characters, these moments, and your body and mind become theirs, and perhaps even your soul too. Your husband is handsome and kind, and here in this liminal fictional space you love him, and when the surgeons wheel him off to the operating room you are full of blind naïve surety. Then the doctors update you on his condition and you are still hopeful, but it becomes a fragile thing, like something that shatters when it’s dropped from a height. And then he is dead, he has been taken away from you, he has been stolen, and you are eclipsed by a blood-red wrath that is animalistic and unforgiving. After each take when you are ripped back through the veil and into reality, you can’t remember exactly what you did or said, and the director doesn’t have many critiques so you aren’t sure how it’s going.

But when it’s over, while you are still standing on the soundstage with the other actors, Aegon puts on his sunglasses and smiles at you from across the room; and you remember what he said outside his office on the day you first met—you are so bright, sunshine—and you know you’ve done a good job.

[spinchip]

Never the dark 7, 10 [dareth x Cyrus, it's not a pairing I've seen before and it humors me in a good way], and 11?

[ask meme]

YAAAY THANK YOUUU

7: Where did the title come from?

Bury Me Low by 8 Graves! I was listening to this song a LOT when conceptualizing the fic and I feel like the whole thing kinda describes Zane in the fic. In retrospect, I do kinda wish I had named it something smoother, I had a few ideas for what I might change it to (Inside the Dark, Forsaken Dark, and [redacted because i might be using it for another project teehee]) but I do like Never the Dark and I think i'll keep it lol

the funniest thing about this song is that I played it so much I got sick of it and now I wont listen to it

If I die today, it won't be so bad I can escape all the nightmares I've had All of my angry and all of my sad Gone in the blink of an eye I've seen the devil. I've shaken his hand I've seen the evil that dwells in a man For all of my wisdom, I can't understand ...... If I die today, it won’t be so hard Everything scares me, but never the dark

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Polyninja because I love them and the fucked up relationship dynamic post zanedeath called to me.

Pixal/Skylor has always been awesome but I included it here specifically because of how I view their character actions in the three year time skip. Skylor joins the ninja a few month after Zane dies and despite the fact that they don't harbor any ill will towards her, Zanes absence is a fresh wound that it feels like she's trying to step into. It makes everyone bleed. No one is coping well and things get messy and tense between skylor, the ninja, and pixal until Skylor has a mental breakdown and removes herself from the team (trauma response due to the nature of how her father raised her.) Skylor was never part of the team- she's not been there from the beginning, so she's an outsider. And so is Pixal. (Not intentionally of course, but the others share a different kind of grief that the two don't.) Cyrus eventually convinced Pixal to go to therapy where she gets some clarity on things and reaches out to Sky to apologize again for any role she played in the teams tension with her. She invites Skylor over for dinner and they accidentally end up talking for 6 hours- and the rest is history

(Skylor IS on good terms with the ninja btw. they apologized and hashed things out- but she won't rejoin the team for a lot of different reasons.)

Coppershipping my beloved. new-ish in the ficverse! They were starting to be more friendly with eachother after zanedeath, and that progressed post s11. Dareth took his grief at losing Zane as motivation to get in better shape and actually try and train, so he hits the gym and puts on a lot of muscle. takes up boxing. He wants to be able to do more to help if something happens again. He ends up putting his new skills to use protecting Cyrus from something or another and Cyrus asks him to be his bodyguard. They spend a lot of time together and fall in love teeheehee

also, fun fact for you, Dareth handmade all the ninja suits they wear in NTD!

11: What do you like best about this fic?

oh man. Is it bad to say the fact that it's almost finished? I'm just really proud I've been able to stick with it and put in the time and effort. I've got a pretty spotty track record with chaptered work- i lose motivation and drop things a lot, unfortunately. But i'm still dedicated to finishing NTD!

and im really proud of the wordcount! 100k!!!!!!! WAOW

[sashaaababy]

Candy - Che Ecru

Authors Note: This is a Toji fanfic;) Ive been saying i was working on a fanfic so here it is? i hope its up to standards, and for all you horn balls ill highlight the first word of where the smut starts

Summary: Reader is a young and broke dropout who was offered a job as a bartender at a strip club since she was friends with the owner. toji is a divorced single alcoholic

Wc: 2,621

Cws: Oral, rough s*x, An*l, creamp!es, p in v, nsfw, smut, dacryphilia, doggy, age gap, spit, c*m play, tummy bulge, size kink, toji is BIG, daddy kink, headlock, biting, choking, slight p!ss, reader has daddy issues, Not proof read!!

Being a drop out college student meant being on bad terms with your family, not contacting them for months, and working as a bartender at a strip club. Which also meant dealing with creepy old men wanting to fuck you on the daily, but it was the only way for you to pay for your cheap lower class apartment. You had daddy issues mommy issues shit, all kinds of issues, you hated your life and would kill to change it. but you cant, so you get dressed putting on your work uniform (a skirt and white collard shirt) and look in the mirror straightening yourself up and brushing your hair, throwing on whatever makeup fixed your eye bags. You grab your keys and purse and walk out the front door, and down the stairs of your apartment, "y/nnnn i feel like i never see you, you work late yeah?" the creepy old man at the front desk always tried to make small talk with you and you always tried your best to ignore him and walk faster out the broken revolving doors that lead into the apartment complex. Once your out you scramble for your keys in your purse and unlock your car door.

The drive feels short but you wish it felt long, you dreaded work but once again the bills aren't going to pay there self. You get out of your car and walk to the more expensive revolving doors that lead into the strip club, unlike the ones to the apartment complex these one actually work. "y/n! omg i feel like i havent seen you in forever" one of the girls run up to you and give you a hug squeezing you so tight you feel like you actually cant breath "didnt you see me yesterday?"you let out a soft giggle patting her back slightly as she lets go of the tight hug she had on you "hmmph yesterday was a long time" she pouts "i have to get working ill see you later yeah"

you set your stuff in the employee locker room and walk out to the bar table serving people there drinks and receiving tips from people who are probably to drunk to even drive home but is it bad you couldn't care less? "can i get the cotton Candy margarita" you hear a deep raspy voice from behind you as you were putting away a few bottles you turn around and see the man who was talking to you, he looked like shit, i mean no he was attractive but he looked like he had just been through the worst moments of his life "you gonna get me my drink, sweets? or no" you scramble for your words "o-oh yeah sorry about that" you turn back around embarrassed for staring make him his drink and hand it to him and like every start of some cheesy romance show, your fingers brush and you try to think nothing of it until he try to make small talk with you "you look pretty young to be working here ma, how old are you?" you stare again, not because he looks like shit but because this guy is huge like muscles that could crush you on accident without even trying, "your staring" you snap out of your gaze "oh- uhm I'm sorry, I'm 22 recently- my friends owns the place so he gave me a job here since i was kind of looking for a job" you stop yourself before you go on a ramble about how your a drop out low class apartment living failure "ahhh i see" he takes a sip of his drink looking around the bar and back at you, this time up and down like he's checking you out, you look away and clean a cup to act like your distracted or busy. "do you dance?" your eyes snap back to him giving him your full attention "dance?", "yeah like on the poles and shit" of course he meant that, gosh you feel so stupid "oh- uhm no I've never tried it before, I'm to shy for that kind of stuff." your eyes go back down to the cup you were cleaning "thats a shame" thats a shame? what does he mean thats a shame? does he wanna see you half naked on a pole? no you don't even know the guy. thoughts rush through your mind completely distracted to the fact that the guy has already left and also, left a $100 bill on the counter, your a bit disapointed you didnt get to say bye but whatever.

You walk back to to the locker room to grab your stuff, you walk outside in the cold fresh air and get inside your car to drive home, but this drive felt long, unlike it was driving to work, driving home you couldn't stop thinking about the interaction with that man, yes yes you have spoken with many people at work serving them drinking, shit you even have regulars who come in everyday and speak to you, but this guy was oddly mysterious and come on the way he just left?the $100 tip? way weird. But before you can stop thinking about it, your already home stepping out of the car and into those broken revolving doors that you need to push to get past, luckily that weird creepy guy isn't on his shift and its a lady who's about to fall asleep, i mean it is roughly 2am so its completely valid, you take the elavator all the way up to your floor and walk down the eerily quiet hallway, you dig for your keys in your purse and unlock the door and sigh as you step into your sad embarassingly small apartment, you set your stuff on the counter and sit on your bed to count your tips, you go through them when you come across the $100 bill and see something on the back of it, his phone number, you look confused not knowing if this was an accident or he meant to do it. you ignore it and put the cash away in your nightstand and stand up to take a shower and get ready for bed you turn on the shower and strip off your work clothes waiting until the shower is warm enough to step in.

You step out of the steamy hot bathroom and dry your body off scrambling through your drawer to find some pj's, once you do you climb into bed and stare at your ceiling not able to get that man and the phone number off of your mind, you grab the $100 bill from your nightstand drawer and text the number, only to see if he meant to put it or if it was an accident of course, "hey, this is the girl from the strip club, the bartender who served you your drink, did you mean to put your number on the bill or?" send. you set your phone down not expecting him to respond to the text immediately since it is 2am at night, *ding* your phone goes off just as your about to close your eyes, you reach for your phone and see the number pop up as a message notification "Hey sweets, you can start by saying thank you for the tip" you read the message slightly annoyed "thank you." you type back and hit send before falling asleep not being able to stay up any longer.

You wake up to your alarm and check your phone to see no reply back from him, you notice you don't even know his name but you move on with your day as that was just a random thought, when the time arrives to get ready for work you do your usual routine and grab your keys having that creepy guys at the front desk try to make small talk while you quickly walk out, the get to work and start taking peoples orders, and it is BUSY your exhausted as the night drags on, but then that same man comes by "hey sweets" you look up at him "you didn't answer my text" you say in a softer voice than usual, you hate to admit you were a bit sad he didn't text you back, even though you didn't even know him or his name, your life was insanely boring and he made it slightly interesting "what was i supposed to say to a thank you?" he pouts and you almost believe he was actually sad you didn't start a real conversations, you change the subject "i don't even know your name" you say softly looking at the empty glass in your hand pretending to be occupied so you don't have to look him in the eye "Toji". "Toji" you repeat feeling the way it rolls of your tongue "it sounds nice coming from you sweets" he says resting his chin in the palm of his hand, and you cant help but feel your face heat up a bit "im y/n, your weirdly comfortable to someone you don't even know" you say with a smile finally making eye contact with him, "let me take you out" your face visibly heat up at the sudden ask, take you out? he doesn't even know you but how could you not, i mean look at him. "okay" you say acting unbothered trying to hide the fact your screaming inside "perfect, ill pick you up after your shift" he says it so calmly like none of this is new to him.

Next thing you know you're getting into a mans car you barely know, "you buckled up ma?" you nod nervous for what your getting yourself into "where are we even going, its super late i doubt anywhere is open." he shakes his head "don't worry that pretty little head of yours alright?" and you listen obediently sitting patiently in the passenger seat of his car. he pulls up to an expensive looking building and thats when you realize its a penthouse, your at his house, on the first time going out with him? i mean your already here and you cant change your mind now. He gets out and runs to the other side of the car to open the door for you before holding his hand out to help you out of the car, you look up at the building as you step out, you have butterflies swimming in your stomach, you hands are sweaty your scared if he can feel it, "cmon ma no need to be nervous" he kneels in front of you putting his face in your hand looking up at you "i have sum good food, games, i don't expect anything from you i just want you to have a good time ma" oh this man is down bad which is surprising for how scary and big he looks, but you give in feeling more comfortable and not as he gets up and leads you inside and into the elevator you both walk into his dimly lit penthouse and your shocked, food on the island table, a pool table, being a broke drop out you never thought you could ever step foot in a place like this or breath near a place like this, you look around fascinated and excited at the food "did you make this?" Toji wont lie to you he didn't make it, his house keeper did "hah, no i have a house keeper she's a great cook" you look around at all the sweets and eat a cupcake happily, he comes up behind you hugging your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder "is this okay ma?" you nod slowly shocked but comfortable having the man twice your size hold you like this, in some way you felt safe even though being here with a man you haven't even known for a week is probably insanely dangerous.

And it was, because next thing you know your getting your brains fucked out on the living room couch, he's putting you in doggy style forcing your back in a arch you didnt even know you could do, pounding his cock into your warm cunt, bullying your cervix with his fat tip kissing it and your g spot making you feel that deep stretch with his girth, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as wet *plap plap* noises fill the room while you gush all over his cock and balls, "f-fuck baby your pussy's so h-hah tight" he's digging his nails into your hips you swear it will leave marks in the morning, he leans forward putting his weight and chest on your back as his arm reaches around putting you in a headlock that makes your brain feel fuzzy and your vision go blurry, all you can feel is his cock drilling your pussy "h-hnngh T-toji s-stop -i need to -pee" he thrusts even faster you swear he's just being mean "h-hah i don't care" you whine and try to squirm away from his cock but the headlock he has on you keeps you in place "T-toji seriouslyyy" he uses his other hand that was on your hip to reach under you and push on your bladder "i s-said i don't care" you whine and piss on his cock and his thrusts only get faster "f-fuck your such a dirty fucking slut on my c-cock" he bites down on your neck trying to muffle his whimpers and grunts, he moves his hand towards your lower belly feeling the bulge in your tummy "f-fuck you f-feel that baby? thats d-daddys cock drillin your belly" you start crying from the overstimulation and the orgasms hes taken out of your body "f-fuck baby your so small compared to me, i don't even know how this small little hole is taking me s-so well- oh fuck!" you feel warm thick spurts of cum fill your hole shooting directly at your cervix as he pumps it deep into you with long slow thrusts making sure you get your fill, "fuckkk baby just like that- milk daddy's cock cmon sweets don't s-stop" he flips you over onto your back as he slips out of your gaping pussy so he can watch the mix of juices run out of your hole and onto the bed sheets "fuck baby your beautiful" he climbs closer to you hooking his arms under your legs spreading them wider as he settles his face between your thighs licking his dry lips before leaning in and looking up at you with his gorgeous eyes. Sucking on your clit flicking it with his tongue before giving your hole attention, sticking his two thumbs inside and spreading it wide so he can look inside, "fuck i filled you up good huh baby?" he sticks his tongue in fucking it in and out tasting the mix of you both combined spitting on your pussy and playing with it "fuck baby, tastes js like Candy" he uses 2 fingers sticking them inside while he sucks on your clit while your a crying whiney mess trying to push his head away but it just makes him flick his tongue faster on your clit, "T-toji s-stop it i cant-" tears stream down your face from the overstimulation "your so pretty when you cry baby, you have no idea" and once you cum one last time for him he kisses your clit before crawling back up to you and hugging your waist pulling you up close to him and kissing all over your neck before having you fall asleep on top of his massive body that you barely cover half of.

[goodlucksnez]

Hey look another Greek Snzology fic! this time with everyone favorite O/dy himself. I needed to make this man suffer (more) I mean 20 years on the sea is going to wreak your immune system right?

hahaha so enjoy this fic

(Do NOT reblog to non-kink blogs, THANKS!!!!)

Rays of light shined through the window on Odysseus’s face. The aging man stirred, and slowly his eyes opened. As soon as he did he wished he had not. The air was still cool, and reluctantly Odysseus rose from the simple, wool-filled mattress, stretching to shake off the remnants of sleep. The scent of olive oil and bread from the previous night's meal lingers faintly in the air. If only Odysseus could smell it. As he inhaled he heard the rasp of his lungs, a crackling and sickly sound and coughed harshly and loudly. The sound alerted his wife who was still entangled in the sheets.

“My darling love, are you alright?” She rose from the bed and wrapped the shawl tightly around her. She quickly rushed to his side, holding his face in her hands and studying his face.

 “My king are you ill?” Her eyes sparked with the morning light, filled with concern and empathy. She continued as his eyes glazed over. “Should I fetch a healer, after all this time I cannot lose you again.” A sadness washed over her face, and she kissed his cheek feeling the heat radiating from him. Odysseus smiled, a foreign expression, it had been many months since he felt this at home. As he spoke his voice was hoarse and raspy. “My eternal love, how could I be anything but at peace? After all these years I have you by my side. My quest is complete. It is time for a new adventure, and I want it to be with you.” His face unwashed and stained with age took on a dazed expression. Penelope furrowed her brow at the look.

 “Odysseus what’s wrong, please tell me.” She pleads with him. He shakes his head, his hair falling in front of his eyes. He tries to speak but no sound escapes his lips. Before Penelope can plead again Odysseus lurches forward, rocking his body against hers.

“Hut’SCHH’ihh! n’TSHCHH’hihehh!”

“Bless you, my king!” She blushed. Ever since their courting days, he had hidden his aliments from her. Even now after all these years, he was still trying to avoid conflict. She smiled her eyes softening.  “Odysseus after twenty years, you are still the same man, I fell in love with.” Grabbing his arm, she leads him to the bed. “You deserve to rest, you have had a long journey, and I can wait a little longer.”

He resists and pushes her away. “Penelope I am okay, I do not have time to- Snf- to get- sick…”

He hitches and holds up a hand between them. As a precaution or a warning, Penelope is not sure. She stands back as he continues to hitch. She is amazed about how he seems to fight the urge with every fiber of his being until he is left gasping for air as if it will run out, before being thrown forward harshly.

“Hut’SCHH’ihh! n’TSHCHH’hihehh!”

She starts but is cut off by another sharp inhale.

“Ahh’TTSChh’hIIEWW!!”

“And again, okay love I am sure the servants can hear you from downstairs, let’s get you back into bed.”  She leads the sniffling man back to the bed and wraps another cloth around him. She takes in his depleted form. The large circles under his eyes. The way his breath comes in short shallow gasps, indicating he cannot breathe through his nose. And speaking of his nose, it was already turning slightly pink and running. She wished more than anything that this would be over quickly. After all she had just gotten him back and there was a lot to catch up on and run a kingdom at the same time. Even queens and kings do not take sick days. As she thought to herself she heard steps approaching. Her hearing over the last few years has increased in case of any unforeseeable incidents. She recognized the pace of the footsteps and stood as their son entered the room, without knocking, a bad habit he had picked up.

“I have you told time and time again to knock Telemachus.”

“I know but I heard a loud sound, and I got worried are you alright mom?” He quickly crossed the room looking around the chamber for any signs of danger. Penelope had to laugh.

“Oh, my sweet boy, no there is no danger.” She smiled and placed a hand on the shoulder, a comforting sentiment.

“Then what was-” his thought was interrupted by a sharp inhale.

“Ahh’TTSChh’hIIEWW!!”

“That Telemachus is your father sneezing, much like you it can shake the castle. Your father has come down with a bad cold. Not surprising after the trials he went through but still, he needs rest. And the last thing you need is to catch a chill.”

Telemachus blushed but nodded and spoke softly. “I will see if the servants can make any of the herbal salve and bring it up, I hope you feel better-” he paused and took a shaky inhale. “Dad.” Before quickly turning on his heel and leaving, closing the door as he goes.

Odysseus who had been watching this exchange, sighed. It didn’t feel right. He felt like a spectator in his own home. As Penelope turned back she saw the man’s furrowed brow.

Odysseus spoke his voice raspy. “He still isn’t comfortable with me is he?” He said his voice was thick with congestion.

“It will take time, he loves you, I know he does just like I, it is just going to take some time. You are a stranger to him, but he will warm up to you” She assured him. Odysseus half smiled before coughing harshly into his hands. Penelope placed her hand on his back and more but for a moment he seemed to shudder away from the touch but still allowed her to rub his back.

“I love you, I have then, and I love you now.” She kissed him on the cheek and brushed the hair out of his face from where it was plastered with sweat. “Tell me please how you feel?”

Odysseus’ eyes, soft and warm, met Penelope’s, the distance between them filled with an unspoken connection. As she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, he couldn't help but smile at how her eyes sparkled like stars in the night sky.

 "My love” he began, his voice gravelly, "I've... caught a bad cold," he admitted, his eyes never leaving hers, searching for reassurance in those loving depths. She shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. "You silly man," she said affectionately. "You know I'd rather be here, taking care of you, than anywhere else."

Odysseus heart swelled with gratitude and love. He leaned in, their foreheads touching, and closed his eyes. "Thank you, love," he murmured. "For always being here."

“Thank you for returning.” Soon after he fell asleep, and she stayed next to him the whole time.

A few hours later, after she had returned from the well to fill a bucket with cool water, Odysseus woke up again.

Odysseus whined, sniffling hopelessly as his blocked-up nose whistled with congestion. He was more stuffed up than he’d have liked, and he couldn’t exactly sniffle it away.

“You sound congested,” she told him, a hint of worry coating her voice. She took note of his desperate, hitching breaths, quick to pull his face into her chest so they didn’t have to break position to find a handkerchief.

“I… ihh… huhhngh…” As Odysseus’s breath evened out through a deep, irritated sigh and wet sniffle, Penelope almost pulled away. But just as he finished considering it, suddenly- “Hut’SCHH’ihh! n’TSHCHH’hihehh! TScHHZHHHtT!!”

“Bless you,” Penelope offered, shifting so Odysseus looked up at her as she gently cupped his cheek. She managed to just reach far enough to grab a couple of spare cloths and press it to Odysseus’s face. “Blow.”

Odysseus quietly blew his nose, coughing quietly. He whimpered, the sound resembling a sick puppy, as he geared up for more congested sneezes. “Huh… TZSCHHH’ihh! Ahht’sCHH’hehhh!! hn’GCKSHHHH’ehh!!”

“Elch,” he sniffled hopelessly, the desperate, miserable action doing nothing but make his nose hurt. “I know love, just rest. Your body is fighting,” She chuckled “Just like you were.”

 He replied with his gravelly voice. “Well let’s hope I don’t have this for ten…oh fuck.”

She barely had time to move let alone protect herself from the spray before he was rocking forward.

“Ahh’TTSChh’hIIEWW!!”

He tried desperately to sniffle up the liquid seeping down onto his lip, to no avail. He wiped his nose on his wrist, sniffling again, which only caused a fit of miserably wet and chesty coughs.

“Ulchh… Ah’TschhHHH’uh! Hh’ahtSchHHuh! ‘TscHHHuhHh!!” He groaned, coughed and sniffled miserably.

“My love, you certainly have caught a bad cold. I mean the only other time I have seen you sneeze this much-.” She was interrupted by him.

 “Shhh my love doesn’t give my nose any ideas.”

She smiled and held him in a protective way cradling his head. He lay in repose his breath shallow and quiet. Penelope brushed the hair out of his face. A face she had missed for twenty years. It did not matter that he was sick, she loved him. More than anything, and after being apart so long, her heart ached with worry.

Now if only he could stop.

“Ahh’TscHHHI’Uew! ‘TtschHHUhh! ‘Hah’tSchHHih’hHEWW!!”

-sneezing.

“TschH’HIH’HEWW!! ah’TSCHhih’Heww!! ‘Ahh’TSCHhh’HIHh’uh!”

“Feel better?” She said after a few moments; the only sound was Odysseus sniffling.

Odysseus nodded, still trying to sniffle up the mess on his face. “It still itches.. it did’t… didhh.. he..hehhlp-TTschhHH’ihHEWW! Hah’Tschh’UHhew! Tsch’HUHEWW! Hah’TCHH’uiew!”

“Aw my love,” She muttered, biting her lip to stop herself from laughing at the wet and sticky mess on Odysseus’s face. “You look like you need some tissues,” she told him with a fond, yet worried smile.

Odysseus sniffled his thank you’s as she pressed a couple tissues to his uncomfortably wet face. He groaned after miserably blowing his nose, the sound almost as gross as it felt.

“Elchh…” Odysseus sniffled miserably as he geared up for another sneeze, squinting in anticipation.

“Odysseus?” Penelope frowned. “Are you gonna-”

“Tschh’HIEWW!! HAh’TSCHHiuh! Ahh’TSCHHuoo!”

Luckily, Penelope had his back, quickly throwing her hand in front of Odysseus’s face to cover his face with tissues after the first sneeze.

“Ugh,” he groaned, sniffling even after he miserably blew his nose again. “I hate this.”

“I know,” Penelope sighed. “But I’m here to help get you through it.

He smiled sheepishly for a moment. After all these years she was just as kind. Even if he was a completely different person then the one she knew. She still cared for him. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and went to speak but Penelope stopped him.

“Sneeze first then talk.” She warned. He raised his eyebrows in confusion before his breath hitched his throat.

"Hh'Ah'tSchh'hiHHEW! Ahh'TscHhh'iEWW!! 'Hh'TSCHHEWWww!! TtscHh'HOO!!" Odysseus sneezed into cupped hands, miserably trying to sniffle up the mess this made.

"Bless you..." she sighed, wrapping an arm around the shaking man.

"Ahh'TSCHhh'h!" He turned to her side with a wet sneeze that had her audibly and visibly shuddering.

“Bless you again love.”

He sniffed back congestion and sighed before laying down on the pillow. She hummed softly and before long he was snoring a sound she would never tire off.

-the end-