#and then I'll wake up every few hours and never feel rested

[flowersforbucky]

by the end of the night

logan howlett x reader - 7.2k words

summary: reader is a mutant with emotional regulation and healing powers, who frequently helps logan through nightmares - without him even knowing. what happens one night when he wakes to find you in his room?

warnings: 18+only mdni, smut, ptsd, nightmares, friends to lovers, unprotected p in v, oral, fingering, pet names, language, reader is afab, no use of y/n, slightly angst but mostly fluff! implied age gap as logan calls reader "kid" but reader is 21+

a/n: written with worst!logan in mind. reader lives in the x-mansion and is a long time friend of wade's who let's logan, laura and wade move in when al's place gets too cramped.

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You had lost track of how long you had been standing under the hot, harsh stream of the showerhead. You had yet to wash your hair or scrub the sweat and grime from your skin, allowing yourself the well-earned luxury of letting the water beat down on the aching muscles of your back while you rest your forehead against the emerald colored porcelain tiles. By the time you've finally finished rinsing the last two days down the drain, the water runs cold.

You secure a towel around your midsection and swipe the side of your hand across the foggy bathroom mirror to take in your appearance. Hollow, peaked eyes and more fine lines than usual - you definitely need the full twelve hours of sleep that calls your name.

You brush your teeth with one hand and pick up your phone with the other, checking the time - 11:22 pm. You probably have a few hours to get some shut eye before –

A distinct, deep roar interrupts the midnight silence and echoes off the walls of the mansion, startling you. Your phone falls out of your hand, bouncing off of the linoleum flooring.

Before that.

It would be your luck for it to happen hours earlier than usual tonight, of all nights. When you’ve just got off of a seven hour flight from Ontario, after two days of helping people who had been wounded in severe flash floods. Not only healing their physical injuries, but calming their nerves with your powers. And, of course, when you’re fresh out of a shower, naked except for the large, white fabric that covers the middle part of your body.

You don't even bother to pick your phone up before you're stepping out of the bathroom, clutching the towel to your chest. The door to the room directly across the hallway opens, revealing a wide-eyed Laura, donning pajamas and sleep-ruffled hair.

“You're back,” she exhales. The relief she feels at the realization that you're home radiates from her from across the hallway. “Good. Last night was–”

Another guttural yell pierces the air, silencing her.

“I can imagine,” you sigh, staring in the direction of Logan's room. “I'll take care of him,” you assure her, knowing all too well how badly she worries for him every night. “Get some sleep,” you tell her gently. You start to walk toward the sound of his pained cries, when Laura calls your name. You look back at her over your shoulder.

“You're.. only wearing a towel,” she states softly. You glance down, pulling the towel even tighter around yourself. Your bedroom is just on the opposite end of the hallway, but by the time you dress yourself and make it back to Logan’s room, he could hurt himself.

“I’ve been helping him without waking him up for months now,” you remind her. “Let’s just cross our fingers that this time isn’t any different.” She gives you an uncertain nod, and reluctantly retreats back into her room.

You proceed towards Logan's door, turning the handle as quietly as you can. Thankfully, he never locks it. You're good with picking locks, but it's not something you want to waste time with in these instances.

Your heart cracks and simultaneously sinks to your stomach as you click the door shut behind you. He's visible in the pale yellow glow of an old table lamp that he’d left on.

You don't think that seeing him like this will ever get easier - so helpless and vulnerable, not in control of his own mind or body. Before you've even reached his bedside, you're hit with a ripple of panic and despair. You may not be able to see the visions that torment his mind, but his emotions that wash into you paint a vivid enough picture.

He lays flat on his back, his arms at his sides with his fully-extended claws sunk into the fitted sheet and his comforter thrown onto the floor next to the bed. You briefly wonder how many sets of sheets he has had to toss out and replace in the last few months.

His head jerks violently from side to side, as if he’s trying to get away from something that you’re unable to see. “No, no, no,” he grunts through gritted teeth.

You’re silent. It’s best this way - you, Wade, and Laura all agree on this. Everyone who has slept within the same building as Logan is privy to the nightmares that plague him, and the three of you agree that the best way to help him is without him knowing about it. As if the man isn’t already riddled with enough self-loathing for things that had happened in another timeline, the last thing he needs is to feel guilty and embarrassed for waking up his closest friends and loved ones nearly every night. So, as badly as you’d like to comfort him with your words and tell him that he’s okay, he’s safe, he’s just having a bad dream and he’s here in the mansion with you, and Laura, Wade, and the rest of your friends - you don’t.

Instead, you slowly bring your palm to his bicep, mentally conjuring the essence of your powers to flow through your skin and into his body. You feel the surge as the energy breaks through the barrier of your palm and begins to radiate across the flesh of Logan's exposed arm. Usually, he begins to still right away - the loud, angry yelling will dwindle to pained moans that soon cease to silence as he slips back into a calm and dreamless sleep.

This time, however, the groans don't quiet and the sharp thrashes don't still. Your brows furrow together in concentration, forcing more of your energy into his being.

He yells out something unintelligible, digging his claws deeper into the mattress, stuffing falling out around his hands. You try not to panic, growing increasingly confused as to why your powers don't seem to be helping. It's never taken this long to calm him. Normally, placing one hand on him is enough to ease his mind.

His skin is clammy and flushed beet red with thick beads of sweat forming across his forehead and neck. Knowing that you need to force more of your energy upon him, you lean against the edge of his bed so that you can reach across him and place your free hand on his opposite bicep. Just as your palm is about to make contact with his skin, his eyes shoot open.

You yank your hands away from his body, prepared to step back and give him space when he quickly raises off his pillow, his right hand darting towards your face. You instinctively flinch away as the tip of the metal talon between his index and middle finger lands directly across the pulse point of your throat. Your breath hitches in your throat, completely opposite of how his chest heaves up and down with ragged breaths. You're frozen beneath his claws as you wait for him to take in the scene before him.

“You're okay,” you manage to squeak out. “You were having–”

“What the fuck,” he grumbles, his voice raspy from yelling. His eyes dart from your face down to your lower half, lingering for a moment longer than necessary as he takes in your current attire - or lack thereof. His eyebrow shoots up in confusion and he retracts his claws back inside his hands.

“I had just got out of the shower when I heard you yelling.” The words spew out of your mouth like vomit. His gaze moves from you to his mattress, noticing all of the foam that he had ripped out while unconscious. “I was just trying to–”

“Trying to what?” he snaps, interrupting you again. He looks back at you, a mixture of anger and frustration now blooming on his features. “Get your jugular sliced? What were you thinking?” His words are laced with a venom that you've heard directed at Wade many times over the course of the last few months when they're at each other's throats over God knows what - but never, ever has that tone been directed towards you.

“I was thinking that you were screaming loudly enough to wake the whole mansion,” you bite back, crossing your arms over your chest. His harsh stare makes you feel even more exposed than you are. You can tell that your words hit a nerve by the way that he purses his lips together.

“I'm sorry for disturbing the peace, kid,” he spits with a sarcastic huff. The condescending pet name makes your blood boil. “If it happens again, save yourself the hassle and send Wade to risk getting stabbed.”

“It's not a hassle–” you start and then throw your hands up in surrender. It's late, and you're exhausted, and you don't trust yourself to not throw it in his face that it's you who has been soothing him through these nightmares for the last three months, not Wade, and nevermind the fact that you have regenerative powers too, so even if he accidentally did stab you -

He's looking at you expectantly in the thick silence.

“You know what? You’re right,” you give an exasperated shrug, trying to keep your voice even so it isn't obvious that his reaction has hurt your feelings. “It won't happen again.”

He looks as if he’s going to speak, but you are already turning on your heel and stomping out of his room, slamming his door closed behind you.

You retrieve your cell phone from the bathroom floor and start to head to your room, when Laura peeks her head out of her doorway. You pause, quickly trying to conceal any signs of frustration from your expression.

Given the look on her face, you can tell that she overheard the interaction.

“He's just embarrassed,” she whispers sympathetically. You're hit with a wave of her emotions - worry, helplessness, uncertainty. You don't mean to pry. In fact, you usually do everything in your power to keep other's emotions out, but sometimes people feel so many things at once that those feelings just pour into you against your will. “He’s doesn't know how to accept help without feeling like a bur-”

“It’s okay, Laura,” you interrupt her softly. “We knew this is how he would react.”

“I could try to talk to him about it,” she offers, leaning against the doorframe. “Once he calms down some. Explain how you've helped–”

“You don't have to do that,” you assure her. You don't know why it was so difficult to settle Logan's nightmare tonight, or why he woke up this time after months of successfully soothing him, but despite his harsh reaction and telling him that it wouldn't happen again, you were still hopeful that you'd be able to continue to help him. You also wanted to save him the further embarrassment of knowing that this was far from the first occurrence.

“Let's just call it a night and I'll deal with it tomorrow, okay?”

She opens her mouth to respond, but you end the conversation with a quick goodnight and hurry onto your room.

Behind the confines of your bedroom walls, you unhook the towel from around your chest and let it drop to the floor before belly-flopping onto the cool velvet fabric of your duvet. You release a muffled groan into the bed before rolling over and staring up at your ceiling. You hope that no one needs you for the duration of the night, because you are too physically exhausted to walk five feet away to get pajamas from your dresser.

Despite feeling frustrated and hurt at how the interaction with Logan had just gone, you worry for him. You worry that he'll have another nightmare tonight, or that he'll keep himself awake out of fear that he'll have another one. You worry that the friendship that you've developed over the course of the last few months will be affected by tonight's encounter, and as silly as it may be - you worry that he'll feel weird around you after waking up to find you in his bedroom in only a towel in the middle of the night.

The last thing you remember thinking before finally falling asleep is that you wish you could use your powers on yourself to ease your own anxiety.

••••••

The next morning, you smell coffee and hints of vanilla and cinnamon before you're halfway to the kitchen.

This is surprising to you for two reasons - one being that you're typically the one who brews the coffee and starts breakfast. Two being that you expected an empty house this morning. Colossus is usually out with the trainees on Friday mornings, and Wade had told you right before you left for Ontario a few days ago that he, Laura and Logan would be visiting their old roommate - Althea, or Blind Al, as Wade so lovingly calls her - today.

You come to a halt when you enter the kitchen and see who's responsible for the aroma.

With his back turned to you as he pulls a dish out of the oven, you instinctively pull the plush robe that you wear tighter around you as you are hit with the memory of what you wore in his bedroom last night all over again.

“Good morning,” you greet him in a neutral tone as you pull your favorite mug from the cabinet. “Smells good,” you add lightheartedly, not looking in his direction as you pour yourself some coffee.

“Yeah, well,” Logan starts with an awkward clear of his throat. “They're for you.”

Your head snaps to where he's leaning against the kitchen island, next to a circular glass dish filled with fresh cinnamon rolls. It's not as if it's some grand declaration of love - but it turns your stomach into a butterfly garden all the same.

“They're just from a can,” he shrugs, staring down at the pastries to avoid your gaze that's now locked on him. “Probably can't compare to the ones you bake from scratch. It's definitely no steak and eggs like you made for us last weekend–”

“Thank you,” you interrupt him to stop his rambling. You don't need to seek his emotions to know that he is nervous - it's apparent in both his voice and his posture. In fact, you don't think you've seen Logan as visibly on edge since you met him. “This is very thoughtful of you. I woke up starving this morning.”

“I figured you would be after your late night.” He opens a cabinet and pulls out two small plates. “And I just wanted to apologize for.. that.” Waves of embarrassment wash from where he stands just a few feet from you.

You take a step closer to him as he extends a plate to you. “You don't have to apologize, Logan,” you assure him in a gentle voice as you accept the ceramic plate and turn back to the cinnamon rolls. “There's nothing to be sorry for.”

“There is, though. You were only trying to help me and I snapped at you. You didn't deserve that, sweetheart.”

“Well, no,” you shrug with a mouthful of bread and icing, hoping that he couldn’t detect the way your heart skipped a beat at the pet name. “I didn’t. But you were startled, and confused. You woke up from a horrible nightmare and the first thing you saw was me hovering over you. I don’t blame you for reacting poorly.”

He takes a step closer to you, digging into the dish to serve himself. There's still mild undertones of embarrassment breaking through the barrier of his emotions, but the main thing that you're feeling from him is relief.

“I talked to Laura before she left this morning,” he says with a fresh hint of nervousness. “She told me what you've been doing for me for the last few months,” he confesses, pausing for your response. You would feel nervous yourself, if it weren't for your ability to know that he isn't feeling any kind of anger.

You're surprisingly relieved that Laura had filled him in on what had become your nightly routine. You knew from the beginning that it was only a matter of how and when he'd realize what was going on. You didn’t like feeling like you were hiding something so intimate from him.

“I'm sorry we didn't tell you,” you sigh. “We just.. didn't want you to feel bad. And we were worried that you would–”

“React exactly how I did?”

You exhale a small laugh through your nose. “Yeah,” you admit. “Something like that.”

“I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. For all of it. For waking you up every night, for snapping at you, for–”

“Logan, really,” you stop him, setting your cup of coffee down to bring your hand to where his is gripping onto the edge of the marble countertop. You give it a reassuring squeeze, and don't pull away as you look up at him. “Please don't apologize. I wanted to help you. It's what people do when they care about you, you know? And you deserve a peaceful night's sleep as much as the rest of us do.”

“If you won't let me apologize, will you at least let me say thank you?”

You smile up at him, reluctantly pulling your hand away from his. You can't help but notice a small note of disappointment emanating from him when your skin breaks contact with him.

“You don't need to thank me either, but..” you hesitate, suddenly feeling a pit of anxiousness in your stomach at what you're about to ask him next. “Now that you know what's been going on the last few months, maybe there’s something you'd be willing to let me try?”

“And what would that be, sweetheart?”

••••••

Later that evening, after the sun has set and your friends have all retired to their private spaces for the night, you make your way to Logan's bedroom under much different circumstances than the previous night.

Tonight, if all goes well, you won't have to worry about startling him from a night terror ridden slumber. Tonight, you are going to attempt to prevent the bad dreams before they can begin tormenting him in the first place.

You were pleasantly surprised when he agreed to your idea as soon as you suggested it. You expected him to reject the offer of help - as he is so naturally prone to doing. You thought that you'd have to try to convince him that he's worthy of this effort. Although he seemed uncertain that this would work, he was willing to give it a shot because he trusts you.

You hesitate for a moment before working up the courage to give a soft knock to his bedroom door. He opens up almost instantly, revealing himself in dark gray sweatpants and a loose white t-shirt with hair that still glistens wet from a recent shower.

You'd be lying if you said the sight didn't make your stomach do somersaults, but you quickly clear your throat, reminding yourself why you're here.

He seems to take in your appearance, too - his eyes trailing from your painted white toenails that peak out from your fuzzy slippers and up to your matching black pajama shorts and tank top.

“Well, you look quite a bit different than you did the last time you were here,” he observes with the kind of smile that brings out the laugh lines around his eyes. He opens the door further, allowing you to walk past him and into the cozy yet minimally decorated space.

“Thought I'd spare you the shock of the towel this time,” you retort, your cheeks heating at the memory. He closes the door behind him and follows you into the room. “So uh, how exactly are you proposing that we go about this?”

You take in the state of his bed - you would never guess that his claws had shredded multiple large gashes down it less than twenty-four hours ago. He must have flipped it over and hoped for the best. You take an apprehensive seat on the edge of the mattress, nervously wringing your hands together.

“Well,” you begin as he takes a seat next to you at the end of the bed. His body is angled so that his knee brushes the skin of yours ever so lightly. “Last night proved that for whatever reason, your nightmares are becoming harder for me to get under control. Maybe with my powers, I can help you relax enough so that you don’t have those kinds of dreams at all.”

You can’t help but doubt yourself - you’ve never done anything like this before, and you truly have no idea if it will be effective. You’re worried that you’ll disappoint yourself and Logan both. Earlier, he seemed apprehensive, too - but sitting here with him now, you’re not feeling any sense of uncertainty from him. Only from yourself.

As if he can feel your hesitation, he takes your hand in his and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “Just tell me whatever you need me to do, and I’ll do it.”

You nod, pushing down the feelings that flood through you at the knowledge that not only does he trust you, but he believes in you - enough to help him with such a vulnerable part of himself.

“Okay,” you say, reluctantly pulling your hand from him as you begin to scoot up his bed, so that you’re in the middle of the mattress. You cross your legs at the ankles, and motion for him to follow your lead. He moves to sit directly in front of you, copying your position and sitting so that both of his knees touch yours. You hold out your hands, palms up, and he takes them in his own. You can’t help but think that if any of your friends were to walk in, it would look like the two of you were performing a seance.

“We can stop anytime that you want to,” you remind him. “If at any point you’re uncomfortable and you want to stop, just say the word.” He gives you a small nod and another reassuring squeeze to each hand as your sign to continue.

“I’d like you to start by thinking of whatever it is that you’ve been seeing in your nightmares. You don’t have to talk about it,” you assure him quickly when you feel a spark of anxiety flicker where your hands rest in his. You notice that his jaw clenches at the notion of dwelling on what torments him in his sleep. “Just replay some key images in your head, and leave the rest to me. I’m going to read your emotions and attempt to use my powers to alter them to something more positive. It may take a few sessions of practicing this for it to be effective, but I’m hopeful that we can train your brain to not panic at what you’re seeing in your nightmares.” You pause, giving him a chance to ask questions - or tell you to get lost and forget it.

“Replace panic with peace. Got it.”

“Close your eyes,” you instruct him gently. He obeys without hesitation, though you can't help but notice the small surge of unease that begins to flow from his palms into yours. You counteract the feeling right away, sending back a wave of calm in its place. You watch as he unclenches his jaw and unforrows his brows - a clear indication that he's feeling the energy that you're emitting.

“Now think about your nightmares. Start with your most recent one. Try to remember as many details as possible. I'll be right here, holding your hand and helping you through it,” you encourage him in a soft voice, tightening your hold on his hands.

You begin to release a slow, steady stream of tranquility that flows from your fingertips and into his body. You know that he's doing as you have asked him to do - you can tell he's replaying the images of his latest nightmare by the way it feels as if something is pushing back against your powers.

Guilt, fear, and hopelessness - all push back against their counterparts that you try to instill in him. He grips your hands tighter, the hold on them borderline uncomfortable, but you keep still and allow him to anchor himself to you.

You find yourself thankful that you can't physically see the images that he's working through. The negative emotions that accompany the thoughts is enough for you to know that whatever he's seeing, it's far from pretty.

“You're doing good, Logan,” you offer in a small whisper. You're not even sure if he hears you - he's focused, his teeth digging into his bottom lip. You send a more powerful wave of energy to him and watch as his shoulders slouch in relaxation. You can still feel the pain that radiates beneath your power as it flows through his being - but it’s dull; muted.

“We’re going to switch it up now,” you say louder. “I’m going to continue exactly what I’m doing, but instead of thinking of your nightmares, I want you to think of something happy. Your favorite place, your friends, a good memory - anything that makes you happy.”

His eyes stay closed, but he gives a small nod of his head to let you know that he’s hearing you.

There’s a noticeable shift in the emotional energy that courses through him. His fear fades to joy, dread is replaced with hope. With the positive emotions being amplified by your powers, a faint smile grows across his face and a hint of rosy pink blooms on the apples of his cheeks. Now, you wish you could see whatever it is he's thinking of.

You can't help the smile that forms on your own face, soaking in the moment where he's possibly the most carefree that you've ever seen him.

“I'm going to pull away now,” you tell him gently. You feel a pang of disappointment - it's hard to tell who it comes from. His feelings have bled so thoroughly into your own.

You slowly pull your hands away from his and his eyes snap open at the loss of your emotional influence.

“What do you think?” You almost ask him how he feels - but you stop yourself, already knowing the answer to that.

“I think that you're fucking incredible,” he answers bluntly, his hazel eyes staring at you in awe. You feel your cheeks warm at the compliment, hoping that he didn't hear the way your heart all but stopped in your chest. “I've never felt anything quite like that. Even if I do still have a nightmare tonight.. It was nice to feel so at peace, even just temporarily.”

You’re taken aback by the sincerity of his words. “It’s okay if it doesn't work,” you tell him. “We can try again tomorrow. And I'll be right down the hall if you need me tonight. Okay?” You uncross your legs, hopping off of his bed. You start to wish him goodnight when he grabs your hand in his once more. It feels different than just a moment ago - more intimate.

“Thank you,” he tells you before reluctantly dropping your hand. “For doing this for me - for trying.”

“Of course,” you murmur. You feel lightheaded - you don’t know if it’s from exerting so much of your powers, his words, or the feeling of his hand in yours, but the air in his room feels suffocating and your skin feels flushed. “Goodnight, Logan.”

You give him a soft smile, and then dash out of his room before he can say anything else, closing his door behind you.

After you’ve power walked back to your own room, you spend a while decompressing before even trying to fall asleep - Logan’s words, feelings, and touch replaying through your mind on an infinite loop.

You don’t know exactly how long you spend tossing and turning beneath your sheets before your brain finally gives into sleep. When you wake up, you’re not sure what time it is - your room is dark except for the moonlight that trickles in through your window. You sit up and look around your room, confused as to what woke you up in the first place when a gentle knock sounds from the other side of your door. The soft call of your name from a voice that you recognize right away has you throwing your covers back and all but jumping out of your bed to go open your door.

“Logan,” you exhale in a sleep-ridden voice, eyeing him from head to toe as if to make sure he’s okay. He stands before you in the same sweatpants and t-shirt as earlier, though his hair looks far more ruffled than when you saw him just before bed. “I'm sorry, I didn't hear you wake up. I'm normally a light sleep–”

“I think what we did earlier is helping,” he interrupts you. That's when you notice it - there's no fear radiating from him. Instead, you feel a prickle of hope. “I did start to have a nightmare,” he continues. “But I didn't… I didn't feel trapped in it. I was able to pull myself out of it before it escalated.”

You take a step forward, raising your arms to him and pulling him towards you by his shoulders. It takes him a second to process what is happening, but then he wraps his arms around your waist and returns your embrace in a tight hold, nearly lifting you off the ground.

“That's amazing, Logan. I'm so glad,” you murmur next to his ear. You don't even care that it's the middle of the night. After how many times you've woken up to the sound of his tortured screams, you're happy to instead wake up to him standing at your bedroom door with good news.

He pulls his head back enough to look down at you, but doesn't release his hold around you. Your face is so close to his that you can make out your reflection in his eyes. Your gaze flickers to his lips for a split-second before his voice snaps you back to reality.

“I'm sorry,” he says, suddenly overcome with a rush of embarrassment. “I shouldn't have woken you up for that,” he all but whispers. “I was just having a hard time falling back asleep and I selfishly wanted to see–”

“Do you want to come lie down with me?”

You can tell the question takes him by surprise. His hazel eyes widen and you can feel the shock that surges through him at the proposal. “No big deal if not,” you add quickly. “I could try to help you fall back asleep.”

His hold on you tightens, and you're hit with a wave of different emotions that answer before he can reply.

“Yeah, sweetheart,” he grins down at you. “Yeah, I'd like that.”

Before your nerves can get the better of you, you grab him by the hand and pull him through the doorway. He pulls it shut on his way in - the click of the bolt making reality set in.

You don't let go of his hand as you guide him to your bed through the darkness of your room. You crawl onto the mattress and scoot to the opposite side, letting him take the spot where you'd previously been asleep. You hold your comforter open for him as he crawls in next to you. Your king size bed, which normally feels ginormous with only you to occupy it, suddenly feels less than half its actual size. He's not even touching you and you can feel the heat radiate from Logan's body underneath the blanket that you now share.

You're torn. On one hand, you want nothing more than to sink into that warmth and feel him pressed against you as you lull him back to sleep. On the other hand, you don't want to cross any boundaries that can't be uncrossed.

“How do you want me?”

Goddamn. As if your heart isn't already beating a mile a minute, he has to phrase it like that?

You turn away from him, hoping you won’t be able to smell the intoxicating hints of his Old Spice deodorant if you face the opposite direction of him.

“However you're comfortable,” you whisper to conceal any strain in your voice. “Just give me your hand,” you instruct as you reach a hand over your side to where he's nestled behind you. He rolls onto his side so that his chest is a mere few inches from pressing against your back. His large hand clasps around yours.

Forget skipping a beat - your heart all but stops in your chest at what washes over you.

It's faint - as if he's trying his hardest to push it down so that you won't realize that it's there.

Longing.

He exhales, his breath fanning across the exposed skin of your shoulder, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

“I thought of you, you know.”

“What?” You lift your head off of the pillow, turning back to look at him in the illumination of the full moon that pours into your room from your open curtains. His face is just inches away from yours from where he lays behind you. “What do you mean?”

“When you asked me to think of something that makes me happy. Every happy memory that flashed through my mind, they were all from the last few months. And they all involved you.” He pauses, rubbing circles across the side of your hand with his thumb.

Longing. Desire. Yearning. They all bubble over and bleed together - his, and your own.

“I thought of the first time we showed up here and you took us in with open arms. I thought of the time I walked into the living room to find you teaching Laura to braid her hair.. and all of the times that you've cooked for us. I could've picked any moment, really. Any moment with you since I met you would've worked.”

“Logan,” you breathe in an almost whiney voice. “Logan, I–”

“Tell me how I'm feeling right now, sweetheart.”

You turn over to your other side so that you're facing him. You prop your head up in one hand, and bring your other to his face that still rests on your pillow. You cradle his jaw in your palm, grazing his cheekbone with the pad of your thumb.

“You feel the same way that I do.”

You're not sure if you lean down to him, or if he raises his head to meet yours - all you know is that his lips are moving with yours and his hand is on your lower back, pulling you flush against him and closing what little space is left between your bodies.

He kisses you hungrily, a mess of tongue and teeth that makes your brain turn to static. His beard and mustache tickles the soft skin of your face in a way that leaves you wanting more, more, more.

He hooks his hand under the curve of your ass and hikes your thigh over his own, maneuvering you over his body while keeping his lips locked with yours. With both of his hands planted firmly on your hips, you're now straddling him and feel the evident bulge of an erection through the thin material of his sweatpants and your pajama shorts.

He breaks the kiss, leaving you wanting and breathless above him.

“We can stop right now, if that's what you want,” he whispers - his voice sounds strained, as if the thought alone pains him. “We don't have to go any fur–”

“I don't want to stop.” And to reinforce that sentiment, you grind your core down against his hard length. He releases a noise that’s akin to a growl, sounding from deep in his chest. He grabs you by the shoulders as he raises off of the pillow, shooting into a sitting position and crushing his lips to yours again.

Even with you straddling his lap and your tongues taking turns exploring each other's mouths, you still need him closer - need to feel more of him. You snake your hands between your bodies, gripping onto the hem of his t-shirt and tugging upwards. You break your lips away from his to pull the fabric over his head. As soon as you've tossed the shirt across the room, he's copying the exact motions on you, discarding your tank top.

He grasps a breast in one hand, roughly palming it as he takes the other in his mouth. He tugs your nipple between his teeth, hardening it before soothing it over with his tongue. You encourage him with soft rolls of your hips over the bulge in his pants.

Logan lifts you off of his lap, flipping the two of you over so that you now lay flat against the mattress, underneath him. He hooks his fingers into both the waistband of your pajama bottoms and panties and begins to ease them down your thighs.

“Gotta get you out of these little shorts,” he murmurs, pulling them over your ankles and leaving you completely bare for him.

“Logan, please,” you whimper. You don't even quite know what you're begging for - but he does. He reads you like an open book.

“I know, sweetheart. ‘M gonna take care of you.”

His words send an intense gush of arousal to your core. He pushes your thighs apart at the knees and nestles himself between them, bringing his face level with your pussy.

Your hands fly to his head as his tongue makes contact with your clit. You weave your fingers through the short tufts of his hair, clenching your thighs around the sides of his head as he works the swollen nub with his mouth.

He licks lazy strips from your clit down to your hole and then brings his middle finger to your entrance, swirling it around in your slick before easing it inside you. He groans at your taste and the feeling of your walls constricting around his finger, sending vibrations through your body.

He increases the speed at which he pumps his long finger into your cunt, each time drawing a more sinful moan from you. You buck your hips to meet the thrusts of his finger, chasing the building warmth in your lower belly as it builds and builds.

His tongue laps through your folds and he adds a second finger to his movements. Maybe it's due to the fact that you can feel waves of his arousal in addition to your own and it's amplifying your pleasure, or maybe he's just that fucking good with his fingers and tongue - but you can feel yourself soaking the sheets beneath you. The room is filled with the wet echoes of your walls gushing around his fingers in the silence of the night, and you find yourself thankful that there's several empty rooms in between yours and the other people that you share this mansion with.

He brings his free hand up to your breast and rolls your nipple between his fingers and it sends you crashing around him. The white hot coil in your belly snaps and you cum around his face with a low cry of his name.

He sits up on his knees when you've stopped writhing above him, yanking his sweatpants and boxers down. He pumps his length in his hand that's soaked with your juices, lubricating himself with your essence before he's even inside you.

“Sweet girl,” he coos as he stares down at you in the limited view of the moonlight. “Taste how sweet you are.”

Hovering above you, he props himself up on his forearm and brings his free hand to your chin, tugging on your bottom lip with his thumb.

“Open your mouth for me.”

Feeling drunk in your post-orgasm haze, you don't hesitate to do exactly as he asks of you. You eagerly part your lips wide for him and he hums in satisfaction before releasing a thick drop of his spit from his mouth into yours. It falls on your tongue and you close your mouth, reveling in the flavor of your juices mixed with the flavor of him. You groan at the taste and pull him back down to you by the back of his neck, molding your lips to his.

His cock juts against your folds, torturously teasing you before finally sinking his head past your entrance. You gasp into the kiss as he buries himself to the hilt, stilling momentarily to let you adjust to his size.

“Fuck, Logan,” you groan into his mouth when he begins to move again, pulling half of his length out before easing back in at a steady pace. “So big. Don't know if I can–”

“You can,” he interrupts, and to prove his point he fills you all the way up again. His head rams against your cervix and takes your breath away. “See? You're doing such a good job, honey.”

You've never felt so full before. You swear you can feel him in your stomach. He starts to rock in and out of you, slowly as you acclimate to the fullness of him. He kisses you through it, drinking in each whimper and moan that he draws from you.

“So tight and wet for me,” he grunts when he pulls away from your mouth. He brings one of his hands down to where your body meets his, placing his thumb directly over your swollen clit and begins to rub you with fast, pressured circles that have your cunt clenching around him.

“Close,” you grunt out in between moans of his name. “I'm so close.” He rocks into you harder, making you see stars when he hits that sweet spot just right.

“Gonna cum around my cock?” He mutters between gritted teeth as your walls flutter around him. “Yeah, you are. I can feel it.”

His thrusts become erratic and you know he's right behind you. A few more hard thrusts that have your headboard slamming against the wall and you're cumming around him as he spills into you.

He goes still inside you as you both regain a normal pattern of breathing. He gives you one, two, three wet, open-mouth kisses down your throat before pulling out of you. You whimper at the sudden lack of fullness, already missing the way he fits inside you.

He flops down beside you on the mattress and tugs you into his side, your head coming to rest just above his rapidly beating heart.

“I think I should be able to sleep just fine after that,” he exhales. He trails his fingertips down the exposed skin of your arm. You grab his other hand in yours and pull it up to your mouth, where you plant kisses on each of his knuckles.

“Probably,” you whisper with a laugh. “I think you should probably stay here with me, though. Just in case.” You don't have to look up to know that he's smirking down at you - you can tell by the way he's feeling.

Light. Carefree. Happy. Loved.

“I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart.”

♡♡♡♡♡

thanks for reading!!! as always comments & reblogs are so appreciated 🫶🏻

[running-in-the-dark]

.

[anothermonikan]

Would it have hurt less if at the end of everything I was lowered into those rose bushes, to my bloody painful end, I miss her everyday, would it have been different.

[interstellarrisa]

Some subconscious fun

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You might've heard people saying that are our brain is amazing and capable of astounding things and well they're not wrong. Your brain is the most complex organ in the body with billions of neurons that have trillions of connections called synapses that makes it able to communicate, with this information how can we say that it's not amazing?

Our consciousness is thought to sit at the cerebral cortex and is said to have three levels to it. The conscious, subconscious and unconscious. They're all tasked with different things. I'll explain them all...

The conscious: This is the part that we have control over, our thoughts, feelings, decisions and acknowledgement are all made here. It's what you're using right now to read this post and also where the awareness of you reading this post is. Basically thoughts, feelings and awareness.

The subconscious: It's not in the current focus of our awareness hence called the subconscious mind. It's a barrier that's put up by our mind so that we don't become overwhelmed by all the information that we get when we interact with this world. For example our nose in the center of our vision, the feeling of our clothes or our tongue resting on the roof of our mouth. Because of this barrier we're allowed to focus our awareness on more important decision making and cognitive tasks without getting overwhelmed. This can be noticed when we decide (conscious) to pick up a new skill which can be hard to learn and do before we become a natural at it which then makes it an automatic (subconscious) skill.

The unconscious: It's perhaps the most mysterious form of consciousness since it's not available for introspection or analysis. We do know that it's a hoard of feelings, thoughts and memories lost from our conscious mind, it contains the painful past that we might simply want to forget about. Some people say that we never forget and that it just get's buried deep down within our mind and with the right signals we can recover the forgotten memories.

Now to the fun part. It's a small "experiment" that you can do every night just to see how amazing your subconscious mind truly is. Firstly I haven't found any article's stating that this is your subconscious minds doing, some say it might be your circadian rhythm (internal body clock) but I personally assume that it's your subconscious and if you know loa let's just go with it.

The experiment is you controlling when you wake up. You might go "really, that's it?" but when you first do it and it works it'll feel a bit 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, anyways here's what to do.

Go to bed. Doesn't need to be nighttime you just need to go to sleep for this.

While falling asleep tell yourself that you'll wake up in xxx hours/minutes. For example you go to bed at 00:00 and want to wake up in 8 hours, naturally that would be 08:00 so just affirm "I will wake up in 8 hours." or "I will wake up at 08:00"

Drift off to sleep~

Wake up and check the time and it should be the designated time.

This is actually a technique used a lot in lucid dreaming method's and could also be used in shifting/manifesting/void method's. Since the brain is just like a sponge when you wake up it absorbs any kind of information presented it with and sometimes induces "hallucinations". I'd recommend shorting the time you sleep if you're gonna use it as a method though. It's also pretty similar if not the same to SATS.

This has worked for me on multiple occasions and if you wake up and the time doesn't match when you wanted to wake up it might be because you already woke up earlier and just went back to sleep and forgot about it later, happened with me a few times but because of signals I remembered. I even got rid of my alarm for school because of this and I still woke up in time for school.

warning: if this post does NOT resonate with you or your beliefs feel free to ignore it, you don't need to send hate or make posts on how stupid this is or that it's wrong. some might misunderstand this post (like the last one) and make misguided comments, please think a little before you open your mouth :). yapping session is cause i'm really interested in this topic lol.

[lina-lovebug]

I'd Fight The Devil

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, FINALE

Background: The future heir of Hell is on the way! Alastor has his doubts about being a good father and Lucifer is losing his mind.

_ _ _

(Y/N) Morningstar is due any day now!

That dreaded due date was getting closer and closer and honestly, Alastor didn't know how to handle it.

Of course, he was happy when he found out that his beloved was pregnant. From what he knew, sinners couldn't reproduce! But from a brief (while crying) explanation from Lucifer, (Y/N) is extremely fertile and this could continue happening or just be a one time thing.

Honestly, it broke Alastor seeing her miserable. Her swollen hoofs, going days without sleep because of their spawn kicking up a storm, and not to mention the crying. It didn't bother him that she became much needier, as he was happy to give her all the hoof rubs and cravings she desired.

Alastor felt bad because he hears her confide in Charlie, "honestly, I'm not sure I want to do this again. It feels like my body doesn't belong to me."

He's heard that some pregnant women feel that way, but the way her voice broke when she said it.

He'd never touch her again if she asked.

"Need anything, mon cher?" Alastor asked as she waddled to the bathroom.

"No, but thank you," She smiled. He had been so attentive and it made this pregnancy a bit more enjoyable.

(Y/N) hated herself. Not because she hated their child, no, but because she hated how she felt. She hated that she wasn't enjoying her pregnancy like so many other mothers, and hated how she felt like a prisoner in her own body.

But today: she'd be free.

"ALASTOR!"

A scream awoke the half asleep Radio Demon and he instantly appeared by her side, "what happened?! Are you okay?!"

"I think my water broke last nigh-ah! I'm having contractions!"

The baby was coming.

THE FUCKING BABY WAS COMING.

He instantly got them to the hospital, all while waking up the entire hotel. Vaggie shook Charlie awake, Husker threw a bottle at Angel Dust, and Niffty was frantically killing any bug she saw.

"MY BABY! WHERE'S MY LITTLE PUMPKIN?!"

Lucifer was panicking more than Alastor.

"Oh, my sweet pumpkin!" Lucifer ran to her side as she groaned at the contractions, her horns peaking in and out every time pain lashed through her body.

"Dad, it hurts."

"Where are the scrubs?! I need-!"

"Dad, isn't it the father who's supposed to get scrubs?" Charlie questioned nervously.

"But my baby needs me!"

"What I need is everyone to get the fuck out!" (Y/N) screamed, completely overwhelmed by all of it. Charlie dragged their dad out of the room, and Alastor stayed.

"I'm sorry," She began to cry, feeling horrible about yelling at him.

"You have nothing to apologize for, my sweet girl," His radio voice broke momentarily as he held her hand, "all this pain will be over and we can finally hold our child."

"I already feel like such a bad mom," She cried, "I'm supposed to love being pregnant, but I fucking hate it."

His heart ached for his sweet love. She was in constant pain but hated herself for it.

"I'd never lay another hand on you if it meant you'd never feel like this again," He confessed.

"I'll cut off anyone's hands who touch you."

She smiled at that, "I think. . .I think I'm done after this little one. Definitely need to find out if I can stop being so fertile."

But just as things were calming down, her hand tightened his, and another wave of contractions came. It continued like this for an hour, and with a few more pushes, their child was born.

And even though Lucifer tried breaking into the room, he kept away for a little while longer.

"It's a girl?" Alastor asked.

"Yes. Congratulations!"

"Oh, she's so precious," (Y/N) looked at their daughter, now resting in her arms. She had two small deer horns poking out of her soft head, a ruffle of red hair to go along with it.

"I will give you all the demon meat you desire," Alastor felt satisfied when he looked at his daughter, and felt a pang of happiness within him.

"I think I know what her name is, Alastor," she had been snooping around and found a name from his past, which would make her future husband all the more joyful.

"And what's that, my dear?"

"Manon," His smile faltered.

It was his mother's name.

He looked upon his daughter as she handed him over, her eyes opening to see the Radio Demon - her father.

"It's perfect," He smiled.

"Manon Morningstar."

When Alastor looked at her, all his doubts faded. He remembered how his mother doted on him, loving him and always being his number one supporter and just new that he would do the same for her.

"Can we come in?" Charlie asked carefully with Lucifer peaking in.

(Y/N) nodded and in came Vaggie, Charlie and Lucifer. Lucifer held two giant bouquets of roses, setting them on a table.

"Oh, she's adorable!" Charlie grinned.

"Would you like to hold her?" (Y/N) asked, and her sister happily accepted. The small demon wasn't fussy about being in her arms, just staring with curious eyes.

"Vaggie?"

Her eyes widened, "oh? Me? Uh, I mean, I don't know, I've never-"

"You'll be fine," before she could contest any further, Vaggie was holding Manon. Manon babbled at her, spit dribbling from her mouth as her hand reached up and pulled her hair.

"Okay! My turn!" Lucifer snatched his granddaughter away, staring at the baby with a happy-go-lucky smile.

"Oh you're so precious! I think you'll love duck's! In fact, it's your first toy," He squeaked a small rubber duck with wings in her face, and she began to cry.

"No, no, no, no! Please don't hate me! I love you!"

"I think mommy needs some rest, and Manon is hungry," Alastor scooped back his daughter, and Vaggie dragged Lucifer out as he cried over the fact that he is convinced his granddaughter hates him.

"She's perfect," (Y/N) sighed as she begun to feed upon her, and Alastor gave them both a kiss on their foreheads.

"You're perfect."

[sturniolohouse]

Do Not Wait - M.S

a/n: this got heavier than i planned initially but i just leaned into wherever the story took me. it's also very reader focused, which i realized way too late. but, do not fret, matt is still in it :) lmk if you'd like me to continue this as a series... i hope yall like it, im proud of it.

summary: while matt is away, reader learns and struggles with some unexpected news that will change both their lives forever.

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, vomit, blood, death, grief, panic attacks, cursing. (no use of y/n)

word count: 11.7k

song: do not wait - wallows

"And it gets worse before it gets better That's one thing that I have come to know Just so you know"

“I hate to leave you like this,” Matt sighs, pushing my hair out of my face as his dark silhouette sits beside me on the bed.

I lay curled up in a ball after spending majority of the night sick. I feel terrible because I kept Matt up when he had to be up early for his flight to Chicago today.

Despite my attempts to avoid disturbing him, he spent most of the night beside me, rubbing my back while I hunched over the toilet and bringing me water.

I toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position as my restlessness and nausea worsen by the second.

Matt’s hand touches my forehead, gently pushing my hair back and mindlessly scratching my head. I sit up as another wave of nausea twists my stomach, and I take a deep breath, hoping to suppress it. Matt sits up behind me, his hand now rubbing my back as I lean over the side of the bed with my head between my knees.

Thankfully, a moment later the wave of sickness passes and I sit up straight with a small groan as my body aches.

“I’m going to sleep on the couch. I don’t want to get you sick, and you have to be up in a few hours,” I croak, but he protests, gently pulling me back into bed.

"I don't give a fuck. I'll sleep on the plane, you're staying right here,"

As the morning light begins to filter through the curtains, Matt’s alarm goes off. By then, we had maybe collectively slept an hour and I knew he must have been exhausted. He got ready quietly trying his best not to disturb me, but I was already awake.

I don’t think sleep is in the cards for me tonight.

He places the back of his hand on my forehead, then my cheek, his touch gentle and searching.

“You still don’t have a fever...I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” He sighs, his fingers sifting through my hair with a tenderness that makes my heart ache.

Even with the faint light of dawn as our only source, I can still make out his concerned expression as he scans my face.

“I've never been this sick before. It must be a bug,” My voice is hoarse from repeatedly throwing up.

“Please, stay here with Nick while I’m gone so you have someone to look after you. I’m gonna text him now so he sees it when he wakes up. God, I don’t even want to go anymore,” He wipes his hand down his face in stress and I shake my head.

“No, stop, don’t worry about me. I’m gonna be fine. I’ll stay here with Nick. Please don’t be late for your flight,” I insist, gripping his hand weakly. “I’m going to make some tea and try to get some rest.” I go to get up but he puts his hand on my shoulder.

“I’ll make you tea, while we wait for the Uber. What do you want, mint?” He asks softly, his hand rubbing up and down my hip.

I nod weakly, thanking him.

I doze off a bit while he goes to make my tea, the repercussion of not sleeping catching up to me. When I open my eyes again, he’s setting my steaming mug on the bedside shelf carefully and placing two advils next to it.

“Text me when you wake up? And let me know if you have to go to urgent care, I’ll send you an Uber.” He tells me softly, his voice trembling with an emotion he’s trying to hide.

His reluctance to leave is evident in every line of his face.

I nod tiredly, “Mm, text me when you and Chris land. Have fun in Chicago. I love you.”

“I love you,” He kisses my forehead, before grabbing his suitcase by his bedroom door and leaving.

I was able to sleep a couple of more hours before I woke up again, dry heaving into the toilet because I quite literally had nothing left in my stomach.

I showered, brushed my teeth and went into the kitchen, searching for something bland to settle my stomach. I had decided to grab a rice cake and made more mint tea before I sprawled out on the couch in one of Matt’s hoodies.

It’s not the first time he’s been away, but this time, I miss him more than I anticipated. Even the scent of his hoodie brings a wave of emotion that catches me off guard.

We’ve never been one of those couples that spends every second of every day together anyway. Not even when we first started dating. We’ve always given each other the space we need.

But I must admit I could go for one of his hugs right now.

It’s around 10 AM when Nick comes down stairs and his face tells me everything I need to know about my appearance.

“I know, I look like shit.” I deadpan and he covers his mouth with wide eyes.

“I got Matt’s texts...I thought that motherfucker was being dramatic. Are you feeling any better?” He asks with a hand on his chest.

“Well, I haven’t thrown up in three hours, so that’s a new record. Your poor brother, I kept him up all night,”

“He'll live, do you want to go to urgent care?”

“No, I’ll wait it out. It’s gotta pass and I was able to keep my breakfast down.” I wave a hand.

Nick goes to make his own breakfast, slicing an apple before coming over to sit on the couch with me.

“Apple?” He offers me, munching on his own bite.

I decline shaking my head with a frown.

Nick wanted to watch Love Island, so I let him change the TV, feeling my eyelids grow heavy. As the sounds of the show filled the room, I found myself dozing off, giving in to the rest my body needs.

When I wake up, I have a blanket over me and Nick is editing on his laptop.

He notices me move and takes his headphones off one ear.

“Hey, you feeling better? Matt keeps pestering me for updates,” He shows me his phone with messages from a worried Matt.

I sigh, “Jesus...I’ll call him. But yes, I feel better now that I've gotten some sleep.” I get up and stretch my body, wincing at my achy muscles.

“How long was I out?” I ask grabbing my phone to see my own set of messages from Matt.

Kid worries too much.

“About 3 hours, you were knocked out. I’m gonna order food, are you hungry for anything?” He asks and my stomach rumbles at the thought of one food.

“I could fuck up some tacos right now,” I raise an eyebrow at him at my suggestion.

“I like the way you’re thinking.” He snaps his fingers pointing at me in agreement.

“Birria tacos for me and a Diet Coke. I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go call your brother before he has a heart attack.” I say walking to Matt’s room and calling him.

He picks up on the first ring.

“Hey,” He breaths out, his voice soft.

“What did I tell you about worrying about me?” I tease him and he laughs, sounding relieved.

"Hi!" I heard Chris shout in the background, before I heard a door close and Matt sigh. I'm guessing he went into a separate room.

“If you saw the state you were in before I left this morning, you’d be worried too. I take it you’re feeling better? Heard you napped,” He speaks up again, talking at a normal volume now.

“I was physically feeling the state I was in. But, yeah, a little better after my nap. How was your flight?” I ask, playing with the trinkets on his shelves.

“Besides me worrying the entire flight about you dehydrating and dying? Fine. A little turbulence, but nothing crazy.”

“Okay, drama, relax. I’m staying hydrated, I’ve napped, Nick and I are about to order some tacos. It must have just been a bug. I must admit, you're very cute when you worry about me though.” I smile and he hums shly.

A beat of silence goes by and I look at the photobooth picture of Matt and I on his wall.

“I miss you,” I admit to him, leaning down to inhale the collar of his sweatshirt on me.

“I miss you too. You know I haven't even been gone 12 hours though,” He reminds me, sounding amused at my unexpected sappyness.

I sigh, “I know,”

Suddenly I have a lump of emotion in my throat and he automatically hears the switch of my tone.

“Hey woah, what happened? Why are you upset?” He sounds panicked.

“Oh my god, sorry. I don’t know. I’m not even sad,” I choke back my tears.

“Doesn’t sound like it.." He doesn't sound convinced. "Do I need to come home?" He says next and I'm immediately objecting.

“What! No. Matt, I promise I’m fine.” I tell him quickly, taking off my hoodie as I begin to overheat.

“I love you... I’ll be back before you know it, okay? S'nothing we haven’t done before.” He reminds me softly and my bottom lip wobbles.

“Mhm,” I manage to get out and he sighs again.

“Sweetheart... You’re telling me not to be worried, but I’m beyond worried. Can you please tell me what’s wrong?” He pleads and I shake my head even though he can't see me.

“I honestly couldn’t tell you...I-i think I just needed to cry, and missing you isn’t helping because I wish I could hug you but you’re so f-far,” I hiccup.

“Okay, deep breaths, how about you take a nice hot shower–maybe a bath. Use Nick’s bath and when you’re done, you can eat your tacos and you’ll feel better. Okay? Listen, Chris and I are about to leave for dinner, are you going to be alright?” He checks in, sounding hesitant to hang up.

“Yes, I’m fine. Seriously. I’m sorry. I must be starting my period soon.” I compose myself, trying to ignore the sudden ache in my heart.

“It’s okay,” he says softly, his voice gentle and sweet.

Any other time, he’d be teasing me for being a crybaby—lovingly, of course—but I think he senses that my emotions are genuinely beyond my control right now.

“I love you,” he says again with emphasis, wanting to hear me say it back.

“I love you, so much," I say weakly, "Have fun at dinner and tell Chris I said hi.” I tell him, wiping my eyes.

“Will do. I’ll call you when we get back.” He says goodbye, hanging up.

I take a deep breath and I shake my head, feeling frustrated with my poorly-timed emotions. I feel terrible for worrying him more, I wanted this trip for him to be fun. Chris had really been looking forward to going with Matt—it had become a sort of tradition for the two of them. I need to get my emotions under control.

I wince again as I feel the heaviness and soreness in my breasts. Sighing, I go to my phone and check my period app to see when this torture will be over.

My stomach drops when I open the app and see I'm 13 days late.

My head feels dizzy suddenly and I pinch my eyes closed as the pit in my stomach spurs on more nausea. I lay back and put my arm over my eyes and take deep breaths.

My mind races, but I can’t seem to focus on one thought.

No, I can’t be.

I’m just stressed, that’s all.

I have an IUD, it's not possible.

But everything's adding up; the nausea, heightened emotions, late period...

I sit up slowly, feeling the weight of the realization settle on me. My heart pounds in my chest and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the flood of emotions threatening to drown me. But there’s no escaping this.

With trembling hands, I go to call Matt back, my thumb hovers over the call button but I stop myself. He’s going to dinner right now, on the opposite side of the country.

I can't burden him with this, not when I don’t even know for sure.

Dropping my phone onto the bed beside me, I try to self soothe, taking deep breaths to steady myself, but the anxiety is relentless.

I walk out of the room and Nick is asking me what kind of salsa I want with my tacos before he looks up at me. He immediately furrows his brows in worry.

“Hey–what's going on, are you okay?” He sits up and places his laptop on the coffee table.

“I-I can't breath,” I gasp, reaching out for him, feeling like a little kid.

He instantly stands up, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

“What’s happened? Deep breaths, big deep breaths. There you go,” He rubs my back and I breath deeply with him.

My cheek smushed into his chest as I listen to the beating of his heart to help ground me. I pull away, still trembling and shake my head, unsure if I should even be telling Nick this.

This should be Matt.

Nick's eyes search mine, sensing my hesitancy. “You don’t have to talk if you’re not ready,” he says softly, his hands rubbing my shoulders.

I bite my lip, feeling a mix of guilt and desperation.

I don’t want to drag Nick into something so personal, but this is too overwhelming to keep bottled up.

“I… I think I might be pregnant,” I finally whisper, the words barely escaping my lips.

Saying it out loud makes it feel all the more real, and the weight of it presses down on me like a ton of bricks.

Nick’s expression shifts from worry to shock, his mouth falling agape and silence ringing between us. Once he hears me whimper, he snaps out of it and brings me back into a bone crushing hug.

"Shh, okay–it's okay, um…” His voice wavers, and I can feel his heart racing against my cheek.

For a moment, it seems like he’s trying to find the right words, but all that comes out is a nervous laugh.

“This is… wow, this is big. I'm sorry– I don't know what else to say right now,” His voice high pitched and shaky.

I can’t help but let out a shaky laugh with him, even through my anxiety.

“Yeah, big,” I agree, my voice barely above a whisper.

Nick pulls back just enough to look at me, his uncertainty showing in the way his eyes dart around, trying to process everything at once.

“I mean, I’m no expert on this—obviously—but we'll figure this out. You're gonna be okay, everything's gonna be okay.”

His reassurance is genuine, but I can see he's trying to convince himself too; a flicker of doubt in his eyes.

This is uncharted territory for both of us.

Nick and I had decided to order the tests along with the food, killing two birds with one stone. He’s doing his best to stay calm for my sake, but the trembling of his hands as he places the order is hard to miss.

"Okay, tacos and tests are on the way. I got, well, all of them because I don't know which one is best. I even got ice cream. Fuck, when did it get so hot in here? I'm overheating–are you overheating?" He says, his words moving a mile a minute as he fans himself with his shirt.

I can't help but to laugh as his nerves show and he shakes his head.

"I'm sorry, I know you're the one potentially knocked up by my idiot brother but I'm just so nervous. I'm sweating like a monster," His voice cracks.

"Do you mind if I use your bath?" I ask and he nods right away.

“Are you kidding? Of course, go ahead. Someone has to use it. I’m gonna…Well, I’ll just wait out here and try to chill.” He gives me a quick, reassuring smile, though it’s clear he’s still on edge.

I head to his bathroom and try to forget about my racing thoughts.

I turn the faucet on and put in some bath salts, checking the temperature before I step over to the vanity mirror. I take a look at my appearance and notice the puffiness in my face right away. My cheeks are flushed and my eyes are bloodshot.

I blow out a raspberry as I undress and get into the hot water.

The heat soothes my aching muscles and clears my mind. I soaked for a while, even draining a bit of the water and refilling the tub with more hot water. Once I feel myself pruning, I decide it's time I get out.

As I dry myself off, I notice light blood on the towel. My heart races, and I quickly check again—I'm bleeding. Very lightly, but there’s blood.

Relief floods through me, and I almost cry again, this time from the emotional whiplash. My legs feel shaky, so I sit down on the edge of the tub to steady myself, my breath coming out in shaky bursts.

Clutching the towel to my chest, I close my eyes and let out a long, relieved sigh.

“Thank God,” I whisper, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes.

I try not to dwell on the small part of me that almost wanted to feel disappointed. Maybe even mourning the part of me that might have embraced being pregnant–excited, even.

Instead, I focus on center of my emotions, the part where a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Eventually, I pull myself together, cleaning myself up and getting dressed.

When I step out of the bathroom, Nick is on his bed, clearly trying to keep himself distracted. My eyes go to the food and the tests at the foot of the bed.

As soon as he sees me, he shoots up, his expression immediately shifting to one of concern.

“You okay?” he asks, his voice soft. I nod, a small smile breaking through the lingering anxiety.

“I’m okay,” I say, my voice a little shaky. “I uh…I got my period, I think,”

Nick’s face lights up with relief, his shoulders visibly relaxing. “Oh, thank God,” he shouts, “This is great fucking news—right?” He checks in and I nod.

“Yeah,” I agree, feeling a little dazed by how quickly everything has turned around. “I think we’re in the clear. We won't be needing those tests, I'll pay you back for them,"

Nick ignores me, pulling me into a bear hug, his arms so tight around me, I can barely breath.

“Shut up I don't care,” he says, “You don't have a parasite in you!" He cheers, jumping us up and down.

We both let out laughs, the tension that had been looming over us now replaced with a lightness.

“Let’s eat,” I suggest, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Nick nods, "Couldn't agree more,"

We sit on his bed and for the first time all day, I feel like I can actually breathe.

As we dig into the tacos, Nick puts Love Island back on and we rot in bed for a few hours.

But even as we talk and laugh, there's still a pit in my stomach. A small portion of me can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t over yet.

Yeah, there's was blood. But it was different than my normal period. It was lighter.

I try not to panic, but I can't help but feel like my intuition is trying to tell me something. For now, I push my thoughts aside, focusing on Nick beside me yelling at the annoying horny people on his TV.

Nick offered for me to sleep in his room but I declined, wanting to sleep in Matt's bed.

Matt never called me, but he texted me apologizing and checking in on me. I listened to a voice memo he sent me of all they did today and I was genuinely glad he was having fun, so I didn't mind him not calling.

Plus, I'm not entirely sure I'm in the right state of mind to have a conversation with him right now. I wouldn't be able to keep today's events to myself.

I know I can’t keep him in the dark—I need to tell him what’s going on.

I glance at the stack of tests on his dresser and sigh. The bleeding from earlier has stopped, leaving me with a pit in my stomach.

I know I’ll have to take those tests, even if only for clarity. But for now, I’m going to force myself to sleep.

I find myself in a place that feels both familiar and strange. It's warm, the sun showering the garden and I immediately know I'm in my grandmother's backyard.

The breeze picks up, carrying the scent of blooming flowers—lilies, hyacinths, peonies, and marigolds—enveloping me in a peacefulness that feels like a comforting blanket.

I walk along the familiar stone path, my fingers grazing the soft petals of the flowers. Each step feeling like a compelling, magnetic pull, guiding me deeper into the garden.

I see her then–my grandmother, seated on a wooden bench beneath the shade of the large oak tree I used to climb as a child.

My breath hitches, she doesn't look sick. Her smile is lively, her cheeks rosy and the green in her eyes vibrant.

But there’s something else different, a kind of ethereal glow about her that sends a chill down my spine.

“Come here, my girl,” she says, her voice soft and inviting.

I walk over to her, feeling a strange mix of emotions: comfort, longing, and an inexplicable sadness.

I sit down beside her and she takes my hand in hers, her touch warm and reassuring.

“I’ve missed you,” I say, my voice thick with emotion, unable to fathom her not sick in a hospital bed.

She smiles, her eyes full of love. “I haven't gone anywhere."

There’s a pause as I try to process her words, but then she looks at me knowingly, another shiver down my spine.

"You're glowing," She hums, tucking my hair behind my ear.

I look at her confused until she places a hand to my stomach. My breath hitches and I can't control the tear that rolls down my cheek.

I shake my head in disbelief, "How...d-do you know?" I whisper, my voice getting lost in the intoxicating breeze.

It's then that I feel a deep flutter in my stomach, one that I can't describe.

I place my hand over my grandmother's that still rests on my stomach. The flutter intensifies, my heart mimicking the pattern as warmth blooms in my chest. The feeling is overwhelming.

An unexpected, joyous sob escapes my lips before I can stop it, tears blurring my vision.

“You're both going to be okay,” My grandmother says softly, gently wiping away my tears.

My lip wobbles and I let out a shaky breath before she speaks up again.

“She’s strong too, just like you.”

“She..?” I squeak. My grandmother’s smile returns, softer this time and she nods.

A wave of shock and confusion washes over me, but before I can ask more, the garden begins to fade. The colors bleeding into each other until everything is a swirl of light.

Her voice echoes as the dream dissolves, “Don't be afraid, Petal.”

I shoot up, my heart racing, my face soaked in tears and my body covered in a cold sweat. I feel disoriented as I take in my surroundings and my mind tries to grasp the remnants of the dream.

My grandmother’s face, her words, the fluttering in my stomach. But now, that fluttering has turned into a twisting feeling in my gut.

Something was wrong.

My phone buzzes, startling me out of my tangled, fuzzy thoughts. My hands tremble slightly as I reach for my phone.

It’s my mom.

“Hello?” I answer, my voice thick with sleep and confusion.

There’s a pause on the other end, and then my mom’s voice comes through, shaky and heavy with emotion.

“Honey...I'm sorry I'm calling you so early, but it’s Grandma....Sh-she passed in her sleep early this morning.”

The words hit me like a punch in the gut, and for a moment, I can’t breathe. She continues to talk but I can't hear her, my ears ring and time slows down.

A flood of emotions overcome me.

Grief, shock, and the strange sense that the dream was more than just a figment of my imagination.

As the reality of her passing sinks in, I’m left with the weight of her final words to me. She was telling me something important, something I can’t ignore anymore.

My stomach twists again and I bolt to the bathroom where I throw up until I'm dry heaving into the toilet.

-

I'm not even shocked when the test immediately shows up positive. I stare blankly at the two pink lines, the only hint of emotion is the tremor in my hand as I grab the test and chuck it into the trash can.

I feel numb.

Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I see the emptiness in my eyes, the darkness encasing them. The person staring back is a stranger.

I'm pregnant.

I should be feeling joy, maybe even excitement—I want to at least, but all I feel is nothing. My experience overshadowed by my grief. By the anomaly of this situation, how this could have happened.

I have an IUD, I was bleeding, but here we are.

I wanted Matt to be the first to know, to share in that moment with him, but now everything feels wrong, out of order.

I feel robbed of the happiness I should be feeling.

I step into the shower and let the scalding hot water claw at my skin. I finally let myself break down, grief rattling through me and slicing me open.

My dream replays in my mind over and over again. My grandmother's eyes, her warmth, her words, her hand on my stomach.

“You’re both going to be okay,”

My hand instinctively goes to my stomach. I press my palm into my abdomen, expecting to feel that flutter, desperate to feel any sort of connection with the life that's there–to cling to the intense joy from my dream...but there's nothing.

It was ripped away from me from the moment I woke up.

“She’s strong too, just like you,”

I whimper, the sound dissolving into the rush of the water.

I don’t feel strong. I feel weak.

My grandmother told me not to be afraid, but I can’t escape this overwhelming anxiety, the suffocating uncertainty that engulfs me.

The tightness in my chest, the heaviness in my heart, the deep-seated guilt that festers within me.

I cry and cry and cry until I can’t anymore, until the tears run dry, leaving only the ache in my chest.

When the water turns cold and the sun fully rises, is when I finally get out. My feet drag beneath me as I walk back into Matt's room and get dressed.

I pull on one of Matt's crewnecks and some sweats before I go into the kitchen to make a tea.

I make myself an Earl Grey, my grandmother's favorite.

I sit down at the dining table and book the first flight back home to Maine, which is tomorrow morning. My mom and I spoke again and she told me the funeral isn't until next week, but I wanted to be there for her. I couldn’t stay here right now.

My stomach growls loudly and I press my palms into my eye sockets. I suppose I should really eat something with substance, especially now.

I grab the berries from the fridge that are in their last leg, washing them before forcing myself to eat. The tartness of the blueberries sparks a memory of helping my grandmother make blueberry pancakes on Sunday mornings. I smile sadly at the fond memory of being her little sous chef.

When 7 AM rolls around, restlessness overtakes me and I step outside, sitting in the front stoop before calling Matt.

"You're up early," His voice thick with sleep as he greets me through the line.

"Hey," I say weakly, letting out a sigh as I gaze up at the clear sky. There's not a single cloud in sight.

"What's wrong?" His tone immediately shifts to concern.

"Matt... my grandma passed this morning," I start, my voice trembling slightly.

I omit the dream and the positive pregnancy test in his bathroom, grateful that he can't see my face.

There's a heavy sigh on the other end. "I'm so sorry. I know she was sick for a while... Are you doing okay? How's your mom?"

"I'm... managing. And my mom, she's actually doing okay. I think we're all relieved in a way, you know? It was only a matter of time. I'm just glad she's not suffering anymore," I navigate my feelings about her passing, my voice surprisingly steady.

"Of course," His voice is so soft, fueling my longing for his touch.

"Do you think…there's any way you can change your flight on Tuesday to go to Maine? The funeral isn’t until next Thursday, but I’m getting there tomorrow afternoon." I ask, playing with a loose string on my sweatpants.

"Of course, I'll look at flights right now," he responds without hesitation.

"Thank you, I just....I need you there," I tell him, feeling a tightness in my chest when I avoid mentioning the conversation we need to have.

"I'll be there. I found a flight that will get me there tomorrow night."

"Matt–" I start to protest.

"I already changed it. No refunds," He cuts me off, his voice firm. "Sweetheart, you need me, I'm not going to make you wait until fucking Tuesday."

"What about the rest of your trip? You'll miss the rest of the festival, and Chris–" I try and reason with him.

"Listen to me carefully...I don't give a fuck about the festival. You need me there, and I'm going to be there. Chris will be fine, he's a big boy. He has Sam here with him and they'll fly back to LA together," His tone leaving no room for argument, his mind was made up.

A small, grateful smile tugs at my lips as tears well up in my eyes.

"I love you," I manage to say, my voice trembles with emotion.

"I love you, so much it hurts. I wish I could hug you right now but I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I’m gonna go talk to Chris, text me or call me if you need me. I mean it, kid."

“I will,” I promise, ending the call and looking up at the sky again, wrapping my arms around myself as the cool morning air brushes against my skin.

I take a deep breath, the air filling my lungs grounding me. As I exhale, I try to focus on the one thing I know for sure—I may not feel strong, but I need to be and not just for myself, but for the life growing inside of me.

My grandmother's words echo in my mind.

"Don't be afraid, Petal."

–

Nick wakes up shortly after, only taking one look at me before I’m breaking down again—the weight of everything crashing down on me like another tidal wave.

I tell him everything, my dream, my grandmother's passing, I show him the positive pregnancy test.

I cry into his chest, feeling overwhelmed.

"I'm just s-so confused," I manage to say between sobs. "In my dream, I was so happy... everything felt right. I felt connected with..." My words trail off, dissolving into incoherent blubbering.

Nick just listens, rubbing my back in slow, soothing circles.

"Listen," he begins softly, "your body is under a lot of stress right now. You just found out about your grandma, and then this very unexpected news on top of it… Every single emotion you’re feeling is normal, and 100 percent valid. But you have so many people by your side who love you and will help you through this, no matter what you decide..."

I sniffle, trying to regulate my breathing as I take in his words.

"I'm angry, too," I admit, my voice cracking with the strain of holding it all in. "This is so unfair. The timing of this couldn't be worse... I can't even talk to Matt and I feel awful keeping this from him. He shouldn't have to find out like this."

"Everything is going to be okay, deep breaths," Nick repeats, his voice calm as he helps me process the flood of emotions.

I blow out a raspberry, pulling back and running my hands down my face in frustration. When I look at him, he's watching me cautiously, trying to read my expression.

"I'm pregnant," I say softly, the words finally leaving my lips for the first time.

A mix of emotions swirls in my chest and stomach—fear, uncertainty, a strange kind of acceptance.

Nick nods slowly, his eyes still scanning my face, and for a moment, I find myself imagining if this was me telling Matt.

More dread fills me.

How will he react? Will he be the support I need?

We’ve talked about having kids before. They were always in the cards for us, but never this soon.

We only just started to discuss getting our own place and now our lives are going to be changing forever.

Nick helped me pack as I tried to arrange a last-minute appointment to confirm my pregnancy, which proved to be quite the ordeal.

The receptionists initially inform me that they didn't have any openings for weeks. However, when I mention the IUD and a positive pregnancy test, the urgency in their voice shifted dramatically.

They told me to come in right away.

The urgency in the receptionists voice on the phone didn’t help my nerves. Neither when they took me straight into an examination room the minute I told them my name.

They take my vitals, draw my blood and give me a cup to pee in.

I left Nick in the waiting room, dressing down into the gown they placed neatly on the exam chair. I look around at the diagrams of the fetuses and the posters of the development. I’ve seen these countless times and never thought twice, but this time I feel unsettled.

I swallow thickly and sit on the loud crinkly paper with the anticipation of the doctor coming in soon.

There’s a soft double knock on the door before a head of wild, curly hair peeks in.

“Hello, hello. I’m Dr. Sullivan,” She says washing her hands and sitting down on the swivel stool next to the examination chair.

The woman has a mane of big, unruly curls that frame her face, with chunky black square-framed glasses perched on her slightly humped nose, drawing attention to her bright hazel eyes. A wide smile, complete with a distinctive gap between her two front teeth, radiates warmth and adds to her quirky charm. She almost seems like a character out of a cartoon—lanky, with an energetic, bouncy stride that matches her bubbly personality. She can't be much older than my mother.

"So, you are in fact pregnant. The lab results confirmed the presence of HCG, which is the hormone produced during pregnancy. "

“Do you have any idea how this happened? I mean, obviously I know how it happened but, I have an IUD.” I say, still trying to wrap my head around the situation.

She nods dramatically, her lips pressing into a line as she listens to my concerns.

“Unfortunately, no birth control is 100 percent effective. In most cases, the IUD might have been displaced, or in some instances, the body rejects the device without you knowing. I actually would like to get clarity on that with an ultrasound, but I think it’s important for you to know the risks of this scenario here.” She says, turning slightly more serious.

“Risks?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes,” she says softly, “There is a possibility that, due to you having an IUD, this pregnancy may not be viable. Having an IUD increases the risk of what we call an ectopic pregnancy... are you familiar with that term?” Her hazel eyes lock onto mine and I shake my head, my heart starting to pound.

“Well, because you have a contraceptive device in the space where a fetus would normally develop, there's a risk that the pregnancy could occur outside the uterus. Typically the egg will implant itself in the fallopian tubes, which cannot host a safe or viable pregnancy...And if not treated immediately, the tube can rupture and cause internal hemorrhaging," She explains gently, carefully choosing her words to convey the seriousness of the situation.

I feel my heartbeat in my ears now as I process her words.

"So you're saying, this can be life threatening...for me and the..." My throat closes up and I can't finish my sentence.

She must take notice of the panic in my face, her round eyes widening slightly.

"If it goes untreated, yes. But I don't say this to make you panic, you're in good hands and whatever happens, we will take the next steps together." She places a hand on my knee, giving the tissue box so I can dry my uncontrollable tears.

"Based on your last period, you should be about seven weeks along. This ultrasound will confirm that and also ensure the pregnancy is positioned in the uterus. Before we proceed, I'd like to ask you a few questions... do you need a minute?" she asks gently, noticing my unease.

I hiccup and shake my head. "N-no, I'll be okay. Sorry," I mumble, wiping my nose.

"Don't apologize," she says kindly, giving me a moment to collect myself anyway, which I appreciate.

For a moment, I consider calling Nick in, but I decide against it. Even though we're close, this may be a little too personal, even for him and I.

"Have you been experiencing any cramping or discomfort in your back or abdomen?" She asks and typing my answer into the computer as I tell her no.

"Any spotting or bleeding?"

"I had some light bleeding last night, it only lasted maybe an hour... I had thought it was my period, but I knew something was off." I explain to her and she nods.

"That was most likely implantation bleeding, which is normal. It can be light spotting of blood, or some women experience heavy bleeding, similar to a period." She continues to take her notes before looking to me again, "Any tenderness in your breasts?"

"Oh, for sure. My breasts have been very sore the past few days,"

"Any nausea or vomiting?"

"Yes, the last couple of days–especially at night, I've been vomiting. I haven't really been sleeping well because of it."

"Yeah, the term 'morning sickness' is misleading... It can happen any time of day, you seem to be experiencing yours during the evening. Any other symptoms you've noticed that you'd like to note?" She asks and I try to think of some things.

"Uhh, I guess I've been more tired than usual, but I chalked that up to being up all night sick...I've also been getting hot flashes recently and I've definitely been more emotional,"

"These are all good to note, thank you very much," She pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose before typing again.

She swivels herself back towards me, smiling warmly.

"We'll go ahead with the ultrasound now. But to get an accurate picture, we're going to do a transvaginal ultrasound, if that's okay with you."

"Okay, that's fine," I say, shakily.

She pulls the ultrasound cart to toward her before standing to move the stirrups into place so I can place my feet into them. She places a privacy cloth over me and I take a deep breath.

She puts a covering on the sheath of the ultrasound wand and places lubricant on the top of it. She taps a few buttons on the computer, calibrating the machine before turning towards me with a reassuring smile.

"So this will feel cold and you might feel a little pressure but if you feel any discomfort don't be afraid to tell me." She informs before placing the device inside to create the image.

I try not to wince and try to relax as much as possible. I go to look toward the screen but she has it faced towards her, so I opt to reading her facial expressions.

Dr. Sullivan adjusts her glasses by putting them on the tip of her nose and tilting her head back to get a better view.

She's quite animated with her expressions, her mouth opening slightly in concentration as she looks over the screen.

Although I can't see what she's looking at, she seems pleased, which is a relief.

"Okay, so good sign so far, I see your IUD," Dr. Sullivan says, leaning forward and pointing to the screen. "I can clearly see that it's sitting at the top of your cervix. It’s shifted down and away from your uterus. Do you happen to experience heavy cramping during your cycle?" she asks, her fingers tapping some buttons on the monitor.

"Yes, I do," I reply, the worry still gnawing at me.

She nods thoughtfully. "That could explain the displacement. Sometimes, intense cramping can cause the IUD to shift from its original position. It’s not common, but it does happen. It’s good that we’ve caught it now."

"I see the embryonic sac in, from what I can tell, a great spot. You're measuring at about 6 or 7 weeks along. Size of a blueberry." She says and I stop breathing.

I don't even hesitate to say yes as she asks if I would like to see.

My eyes are glued to the screen as I follow where her finger points, focusing on the grainy image. There it is—a tiny black oval with an even tinier dot in the middle. It's so small, I almost think I'm looking at the wrong thing.

“That’s... them?” I whisper, my voice barely audible as I try to comprehend the sight in front of me.

Dr. Sullivan nods, her expression tender. "That's your baby. It's early, but everything looks promising..."

"Really?" I squeak, still in disbelief, my throat tightening with sudden emotion as more tears fall down my face.

Relief— as she nods in confirmation, handing me the tissue box again.

Hope— as she zooms in, showing me the flickering of the heartbeat.

Joy—as I hear the heartbeat, feeling it sync with the thumping of my own.

For the first time since my dream, I feel joy, something beyond the crippling dread that had loomed over me all day. My heart swells and then bursts as I continue to stare at the flickering dot on the screen, blinking away the tears that blur my vision.

I breathe in shakily before a laugh escapes through a sob.

"Nice strong heartbeat, everything looks as it should... this looks like a healthy pregnancy," Dr. Sullivan announces, gently removing the ultrasound wand but keeping a looped video on the screen, allowing me a few more moments to take it all in.

"She's strong too, just like you,"

"So, the next step—for your safety—would be to remove the IUD today," she continues, her tone calm yet serious. "We can also discuss your options moving forward, including your decision on whether or not you would like to continue with the pregnancy. It's important to weigh all the possibilities and make the choice that's right for you."

"I-I'm gonna continue the pregnancy. It was in no way planned, but–"

"You don't need to explain...I had a feeling" She dismisses me gently, giving me a knowing smile, "I guess this calls for a congratulations,"

"Thank you," I say just above my breath, warmth still blooming through my chest.

After Dr. Sullivan removes my IUD, she tells me to dress while she steps out to calculate my due date.

I stare at the printed ultrasound picture, my heart swelling with a fierce protectiveness. I’m not worried about the complications or uncertainties ahead right now. All that matters is this life inside me.

I feel much stronger than I did merely hours ago.

My due date was February 7th, the same as my grandmother’s birthday.

–

I had landed in Maine a few hours ago, my mom and I were organizing all of my grandma's belongings. We spent the afternoon together, grabbing lunch before heading over to my grandmother's house.

The house always felt like a time capsule, preserving every memory. The duck wallpaper in the dining room, the scent of pine and clove, the worn couch cushions, her miniature schnauzer figurine collection, and the framed pressed flowers from her children’s weddings—everything was always in its rightful place. It always looked the same.

Memories of me and my siblings spending weekends here whirling behind my eyelids as I inhale the familiar scent.

It evokes a bittersweet feeling.

We keep the mood light, sharing stories with each memory we packed away. I still saw the flicker of sadness in my mom's eyes, even through her laughter as we reminisced.

Sitting on the carpet in the living room, we go through the boxes full of pictures to put together a collage for the funeral. I come across a picture of my mother pregnant with my older brother.

It's a candid photo in the kitchen of my grandmother's house, her hand resting on her swollen belly that pokes out the bottom of her blue shirt, a soft smile on her face. My grandmother is beside her, beaming with pride, tying an apron around her waist.

My mother looked so young, her freckles prominent on her flushed cheeks and her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes.

I was always told I looked more like my dad, but seeing her like this, so close to my own age now, I can't help but notice the resemblance.

My mom notices my pause and looks over my shoulder. "That was just a few weeks before your brother was born," she says softly, her voice laced with nostalgia. "Your grandmother knew we were having a boy from the moment we told her,"

Her words send a chill down my spine.

I linger on the photo, feeling a wave of emotion rise up at the mention of my grandmother as the weight of my own news presses heavier on my chest.

"Were you really sick, when you were pregnant?" I ask, lowly.

She hums in thought, "With your brother? Only for maybe the first few weeks. With you though? Forget about it, I was sick everyday for months."

I stay silent for a moment, studying another photo of my mom and dad in the hospital room with my brother the day he was born. My mom is in the hospital bed, looking tired but radiant, while my dad is crouched next to her, gently cradling my brother in his arms.

"He was so bald," I laugh softly, and my mom chuckles beside me.

"His hair was so blonde, it was practically see-through. Your father called him 'egghead' for the first two months of his life," she says, shaking her head and rolling her eyes with a smile.

I look at the photo again, my gaze lingering on my mom's face. Her expression is filled with such warmth and love as she looks at my dad.

"How did you tell dad? You guys were both pretty young," I ask and she stifles a laugh.

"We actually found out together in a gas station bathroom..." She starts off with a slightly shameful smile, "I had been so sick on our camping trip with your aunt and uncle, so I decided on our way back home to take a test. We were shocked to say the least, but we were happy," She shrugs casually.

I think about how I was alone when I found out I was pregnant. Matt wasn't there, and it wasn't his fault, but the last 36 hours of keeping this from him has been torture.

The moment I saw the second line show up with fresh cold sweat still rolling down my neck, I had to bottle up this relentless guilt.

I feel guilt. It wasn't anyone's fault. This is the most serendipitous situation I've ever been in, but I put the blame on me. I have a choice and I'm choosing the route that will completely flip our already hectic lives upside down.

Tethering us together for life.

Even if this decision it feels right, it still carries an enormous weight. It’s not just my life that’s about to change—it's Matt’s too.

I have no doubt Matt will be supportive, but when you're left alone with your thoughts long enough, you can convince yourself of anything.

I've spent every waking minute wondering how he'll react, imagining every possible scenario, from the worst to the best. It's been an endless loop of 'what ifs,' and it’s taken everything in me not to just blurt it out over the phone.

"Were you scared at all? I mean, weren't you like 20?" I press, searching for reassurance in her response.

Her eyes widen before nodding, "Oh, we were scared shitless. Your father almost passed out. We had no idea what we were doing, but hey, we survived. For better or for worse,"

I nod, looking down at my lap and fidgeting with my fingers. My chest feels tight, and the weight of everything becomes almost unbearable.

"Mom, there's something I need to tell you... I–"

"I know," She looks at me with a small smile, her green eyes glistening with tears.

My brows furrow together, giving her a confused look.

"You do?" I ask, my voice trembling.

She shrugs, "I know everything, I'm your mom... Plus, you gagged at the smell of chicken today, that was a dead giveaway." She bites back a smirk and I cover my face, laughing through some tears before looking at her again.

"I guess I’m not as good at hiding things as I thought."

"You never were," She says softly as she scoots closer to me, bringing me into her warm embrace.

I sigh deeply into her, squeezing her tight and breathing in her comforting scent.

"How are you feeling?" she asks, still holding onto me.

"Scared shitless..." I joke and we share a laugh before she pulls back to wipe the tears that escaped against my will, "But I'm happy," I admit, scanning my mother's face for any sign of judgement.

There was none.

She wipes her own few tears, looking at me with only love in her eyes.

"My baby's having a baby,"

"I think grandma sent me this baby," I whisper, allowing my emotions to come through.

My mom tucks my hair behind my ear with her gentle, comforting touch and she listens intently as I tell her my dream. We hold onto each other and cry. I then show her the ultrasound pictures and we talk until the sun disappears.

My phone buzzes softly and I check the message to find Matt’s text that he’s landed and on his way. The reality of his imminent arrival causes a mixed-wave of nausea and guilt to wash over me.

My mom looks at me with a reassuring smile.

"I'll leave you two be so you can talk. I'll see you in the morning, my love." She tells me softly, kissing my cheek and hugging me tight.

Matt and I were gonna stay here during our time in Maine. It's best right now that we have our own space, especially since my brother and his girlfriend are staying by my parents house.

As she heads out, I take a deep breath and text Matt to let him know the door is unlocked. I slip into the shower, trying to calm my racing thoughts and steady my nerves. The warm water helps, but my mind keeps racing as I mentally prepare for the conversation ahead.

Wrapped in a towel, I check my reflection in the mirror, trying to see if I look any more put together than before.

I think this is the best we're going to get.

I jump when I here the front door open and shut, then some feet shuffling. My heart skips a beat.

Matt's here.

"It's just me," I hear him call out as well as more shuffling and a paper bag crinkling.

"Hey! I-I'll be right out!" I call back out, my heart picking up again but I take a deep breath.

I quickly get dressed in a tank top and shorts; there's a heat wave here, and I can't figure out how to adjust the thermostat.

I step out of the bathroom to see Matt standing at the kitchen island, unpacking burgers and fries onto the counter. The aroma of it makes my stomach growl and I realize I hadn't eaten anything since lunch.

I admire him for a second; he's wearing pink sweatpants, a black hoodie and a backwards fitted hat.

He turns at the sound of my presence and his face softens. I'm trembling when he steps forward to embrace me into a tight hug. He buries his face into my neck before giving me a few kisses there.

"Hi," I breath out, my voice shaky.

I was so nervous.

"Hey, you okay?" His voice is so soft, my heart aches. He pulls away, rubbing his hands up and down my arms while scanning my face.

"You're shaking. What's going on?" He presses.

He knows something is up, he can see it all over my face. I shake my head, brushing it off to have one more minute with him.

I pull him back to me, wrapping my arms around his neck this time and locking him against me. He bends down a bit to accommodate but doesn't question it, just hugging me back. His arms wrapping around my waist and pressing our stomachs together.

My heart is slamming against my ribcage and I know he can feel it, his thumb rubbing my hip soothingly tells me he does.

"How are you doing?" His voice is muffled with his face buried into my neck.

"I'm okay, better now that you're here. I missed you," I mumble, kissing the side of his neck and running my hand down between his shoulder blades.

I breath him in, noting the warmth of him and the solidness of his body against me.

"I missed you... I brought us food. I don't know about you, but I'm fucking starving," He puts his hands on my hips to pull back from the hug, but I stay put.

He chuckles, giving me one more squeeze.

I pull back just enough to line our faces up and give him a kiss, which he eagerly returns.

"Thank you for being here, it means a lot," I say against his lips and he pulls back slightly to push my hair out of my face.

"I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else." He hums into another kiss, then places three quick pecks before giving my butt a light tap, signaling that it’s time to let him go.

I finally release him and head to the food on the counter.

"I passed a Five Guys on the way here, so I hope that's good for you," He grabs a handful of fries before munching on them.

As I reach the counter, the smell of the burgers makes my mouth water, and I can’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness.

“Five Guys is perfect, thank you,” I say, grabbing a fry from the bag and tasting its salty warmth.

Matt grins, clearly pleased with himself. “Good, because I was too hungry to think of anything else,” he jokes, unwrapping one of the burgers and handing it to me.

I take it, thanking him quietly, my fingers brushing against his. For a moment, I just look at him.

He’s here, and I should be telling him I’m pregnant with his child, but instead, we’re standing in the kitchen eating burgers. As if I’m trying to cling to this last bit of normalcy before everything changes.

I force myself to take a bite of my burger, moaning at the greasy, savory goodness. Matt smirks at me, taking a hearty bite of his own burger.

“S’good?” he asks through his bite, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

I nod, moaning again in response, savoring the taste as it temporarily distracts me from everything else.

Matt takes a sip of his drink before bringing a napkin to my face and wiping the corner of my mouth and chin.

"Wipe ya lip, kid," He teases and I roll my eyes, grabbing the napkin from him.

Matt inhales another large bite of his burger, and we slip into our familiar rhythm.

He tells me about his brief trip to Chicago, and I’m relieved to hear he managed to gather a few funny stories and catch at least one day of the festival. He’s notably enthusiastic while he talks, and I can’t help but smile at his excitement.

He also reassured me that Chris wasn't upset at all, which I already knew from the sweet text he sent me this morning.

“Well, I’m glad you had fun,” I say, trying to match his enthusiasm.

I then give him the rundown for the next few days while we prepare for the funeral and memorial.

We continue eating, the conversation shifting to lighter topics as we enjoy the burgers and each other’s company.

It feels so easy, so light. It always is with us. But underneath the surface, the words I need to say weigh heavy on my mind, threatening to break the easy rhythm.

Matt watches me closely, his own burger forgotten for the moment as he sees me disappear inside my head again.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks again, his eyes look between mine. “You seem… I don’t know, you're acting weird.” He tries to find the right words.

"Matt..." I go to dismiss him, getting up slowly but he cuts me off, standing up too.

"No, I'm serious. You've been acting weird for days, and I'm no longer 2000 miles away for you to push me away or avoid me." He steps closer to me, trapping me against the counter with his arms on either side of me.

"Is it your about grandma? Did something else happen while I was gone?" He throws out, looking between my eyes.

"I–" I try to speak up but my voice gets caught in my throat and I get lost in the icy storm of his relentless gaze.

"It's not just my grandma," I manage to say, the admission causing him to soften slightly, a glimmer of relief at the small breakthrough.

"Okay, so talk to me, sweetheart. Please, I've been worried sick about you. You have no idea," he pleads, his breath brushing against my skin.

"I didn't know how to tell you..." I try to put together my words but I feel like I'm making it all worse.

I watch as his eyebrows pinch together and he leans down more so he's eye level with me instead towering over me.

"Tell me what, kid. I'm not a mind reader," His voice strains, frustration evident in his face.

When I try to break eye contact with him he pulls my chin to align our eyes again.

"What, d'you crash my car?" he guesses, clearly joking, his eyebrows raising playfully.

I can't help but smile and snort at his attempt to ease the tension.

"No, it’s not that," I say, my voice cracking slightly. "It's much bigger than that," I trail off and he waits expectantly.

"I uh– I went to the doctor yesterday," I pause and study his face, which drops ever so slightly, seeming to be bracing himself.

He stays silent, whether it was out of patience or fear, nothing could have prepared for my next sentence.

"I went to confirm that I was pregnant," I finally blurt out, my voice shaky, and he freezes.

Not one muscle moves in his face or his body.

"You're..." His voice cracks and he clears his dry throat, hitting his chest, "Are you serious?"

"I'm seven weeks, or a month and a half," I stammer, my voice wavering. "I don't really know how to—"

"Seven..." He whispers in disbelief, the shock settling in and I nod. "Y-you were on birth control– you have that AED–"

"IUD, yes, I did. It still happened, that shit is useless if it moves out of place," I explain and he looks down between us.

"A-and everything's okay, you're okay?" He looks up at me again, holding onto my face.

I take hold of his wrists, rubbing my thumb over his skin.

"I'm fine, the baby's fine..." I say softly and his eyes widen in realization as he pales.

"Oh my fucking god," He pulls back, cupping his hands over his mouth. "I need to sit down."

"Okay, okay. Do you want water?" I panic, hoping he doesn't pass out or puke.

He takes a seat at the dining table, shaking his head before taking off his hat and leaning his elbows on his knees.

"Oh my god, I thought I was crazy..." He says, his voice cracking with nerves as he presses his palms into his eye sockets.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"I had a feeling all fucking week," he says, his voice still shaky, and my brows knit together.

"I knew something was up. You were acting different. You were moodier than usual, you were napping all the time—and you never nap... and your tits are huge," he adds, and I roll my eyes.

"Sorry, that’s beside the point," he continues quickly, "I just couldn’t shake the feeling that you could be... I think I was trying to convince myself you weren't, but then you were so sick before I left," he rambles, staring blankly at the wall.

"It's a lot to take in, I know." I swallow thickly as I watch him process everything.

"You're pregnant," he says finally, looking at me again, this time with tears brimming his eyes. "And you were dealing with all of this by yourself," His voice is low and I shake my head, moving to stand between his legs, cupping his face gently.

"Hey, no. None of that... How could you have known?" I shush him and pull his head towards my chest.

His hands rest behind my thighs, his thumb lightly stroking my right leg. I run my fingers through his hair, comforting him as much as he's comforting me.

"I've been so scared to tell you..." I confess softly and he pulls back slightly, looking up at me with his brows furrowed.

"I know this wasn't part of our plan...at least not for a while. But before I took a test, the night my grandma passed, I had a dream. I was here, in my grandmother's garden... and she told me I was pregnant. Matt, the feeling I had," I pause, struggling to find the right words.

"It was the most intense, pure form of happiness I've ever felt. I can't even describe it to you..." I trail off.

I shake my head, "I know, I sound crazy. But I think this was meant to happen." I whisper, heat creeping up my neck at the admission.

He’s silent for a moment, absorbing my words. Then, a slow smirk carves a crease into the side of his mouth. "You are fucking crazy…" he murmurs, his playful tone breaking the tension as his smile lines deepen.

I huff a breathy laugh, the sound catching in my throat as my emotions take over again. Tears blur my vision, and I can’t hold them back any longer.

"Are you mad?" I squeak, letting my fear slip through the dam I built up.

He's immediately shaking his head, his eyes widen with sincerity, "Mad? Of course not. I mean, I thought we'd maybe get a cat first but..." He says, quirking his lip and I can't help the laugh that escapes through a sob.

I was the definition of an emotional wreck.

He gently squeezes my hips as I tip my head back to collect myself.

"Look at me," he says firmly, and I sniffle and hiccup before forcing myself to look at him. "Am I surprised? Yes. Terrified? Definitely. But, not even close to mad."

He wipes my tears tenderly, "We're going to be okay. Take it easy, alright? Deep breaths," His tone gentle but assertive, dragging me out of the pit of my dark thoughts.

I sigh as his thumbs draw circles on the exposed skin on my hips.

"I'm sorry," I say and he pulls me to sit sideways on his lap this time.

"Why are you sorry?" he asks softly, intertwining our fingers and bringing my hand to his mouth for a kiss.

"Our lives are going to change and I feel like it's my fault,"

"C'mere," He pulls me in fully, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I love you, and we're going to get through this... We were gonna do it anyway; we're just getting a headstart, yeah? Everything is going to work out," He tells me softly and I can tell he means every word.

Matt never says anything he doesn't mean.

"Also, don't say stupid shit like this is your fault. Last time I checked, it takes two to tango," He says firmly, lightly slapping my hip.

I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat as I lean into him completely, resting my head on his shoulder. His hand rubs gentle circles on my back, and I close my eyes, letting myself soak in the comfort of his presence.

"I missed you so much," I whisper, my voice muffled against his shirt. "I've been so sick, this kid might be trying to kill me," I try to joke, and he breathes a laugh into my shoulder.

A few beats of silence pass, broken only by the distant sound of crickets outside and the occasional creak of the old house settling.

"We're having a kid," He speaks up, realization laced in his voice and I hum against him. "Maybe we're both fucking crazy,"

I stifle a laugh and pull back to look at him, "D'wanna see it?" I ask, getting up from his lap and he looks to my stomach with a raised brow.

"Kid, you're not showing yet," he says, leaning back into the chair with his arms crossed, a playful smirk on his face and I roll my eyes.

"No, the ultrasound. Hold on," I say as I head to the counter to grab the pictures from my bag.

I pull out the strip of photos, and when I turn back, I see Matt standing up and stretching. He takes off his sweatshirt and his shirt riding up slightly, exposing a sliver of his stomach. Heat rises to my face but I can't stare too long though because he's walking towards me to look over my shoulder.

"Okay, what am I lookin' at?" He stands behind me, his hands on his hips as his head tilts in concentration.

"You see this black circle here?" I point to the sonogram, and he leans in closer, his breath warm against my neck as he grabs hold of the paper to steady it.

"Yeah, that's it?" He asks, narrowing his eyes and I giggle.

"No, do you see the tinier white blob inside it? That's the baby." I explain and his face scrunches for a second, looking at the picture again.

"No fucking way," he says in disbelief, a wide smile breaking across his face. "That tiny thing?" His voice raises a pitch as he looks at me, eyes wide with awe, "Can barely fucking see that," He says playfully before rubbing his eyes.

"Mhm," I can't help but giggle as he wraps an arm around me, pulling me in and placing a kiss to my temple. "Just wait til you hear it, the heartbeat was insane. It was so fast," I add and he freezes.

The realization in his face settles in even deeper as I tell him that, his soft smile returning.

"You heard the heartbeat?" He whispers, looking between my eyes and I nod.

"Yeah, yesterday. They emailed me the video of it, I'll show you in a bit if you want," I tell him and he kisses me then like he can't help himself.

"That's fucking nuts... do you feel pregnant?" he asks, his voice curious and his eyes slowly lowering to my stomach peaking out of my tank top.

I shake my head, "Not at all. I just feel like shit... and constantly bloated," I admit, laughing softly.

He lightly chuckles himself, a charmed smile on his face as he reaches to rubs my stomach a couple times.

"We're really gonna have to lock in, kid." He moves around me to pull me into a full hug, pressing our stomachs together.

"Okay, gamer, acting like this is a video game..." I scoff teasingly and he bends down, laughing into my neck.

"Well, what else do you want me to say? We're leveling up..." he continues the joke and I jab his side with my finger.

"Ow," he fake-cries, clutching his side with exaggerated pain before breaking into a fit of giggles.

"Stop saying corny shit, you goof," I warn, though his laughter makes it impossible not to smile.

I bury my face in his chest, my ear pressed against his heart as we settle into a comfortable silence.

"Now we really gotta get our own place," He says and I can hear his smirk.

"I don't know…" I shrug slightly, considering. "Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to stick around for a bit. It might be nice to have the extra help before we go completely on our own."

He pulls back slightly to look at me, tilting his head with an inquisitive expression. "You really think my brothers will be any help? They don’t know anything about babies."

I snort. “Probably not, but neither do we." I reason and his mouth shrugs in defeat.

"Good point... I guess we can wait it out, we're not in a rush. It'll definitely give us more time to research where would want to be somewhat permanently," He points out.

I hum into him and try not stress about that. The reality is we'd be putting ourselves in a tough spot—both our families are here on the East Coast, but our jobs and lives are rooted in LA.

It's easy to go back and forth when it was just us, but now we're gonna have a kid.

"I already hear your mind racing," his voice breaks me out of my thoughts as he rubs my back. "Don't worry, we'll figure it out..." he says softly, and I sigh deeply.

My stomach turns when I get a whiff of the food still laid out on the table.

"Matt," I say, pulling back slowly, holding my stomach.

"Mm?" he hums, looking at me with concern as I put my hand over my mouth.

"The smell of those burgers is making me sick now," I try not to laugh, and he shakes his head, immediately tossing all the trash into the large paper bag it came in.

"Alright, where's the incinerator?"

[entitled-fangirl]

Manhood. (P2)

Cregan Stark x wife!reader

SMUT

Summary: it's the morning after they consummated their marriage.

Part 1

Masterlist

A/n: Dare I say this could even have a part 3 cause I still have ideas for it???

.................................

The next morning, she was the one to wake up first. 

She yawned and stretched, the light from outside barely lighting up the room, signifying that it was still too early to begin the day.

She turned to Cregan who still laid fast asleep. His hair was a mess, a reminder of what they had done the night before.

Only then did she feel the dull ache between her legs. 

She sighed lightly and shuffled closer to the man. She gently brushed her lips against his. 

She let out a surprised squeak when Cregan kissed her back. 

The woman pulled away to see Cregan's lips pull into a wide grin, his eyes still closed. 

"Cregan…." She lightly reprimanded.

A soft chuckled rose from his throat and his arm reached out blindly until it found her waist and he pulled her as close to him as he could. "You'll have to forgive me, my love," he huskily whispered into her ear, "I'm only now recalling our late night adventure."

She hummed lightly, her cheek against his throat, "You recall it fondly, I hope?"

His grip on her waist tightened, "Very fondly."

She giggled and began to kiss his jaw.

He let out a small groan as the rest of his body began to stir awake at her touch and he finally opened his eyes, "So eager to go again?"

"I'd never leave this bed if we didn't have to," she admitted as she nipped at his ear. 

He pulled his head away to look at her, "we've a few hours at least. Let us use them wisely."

"You've grown rather bold overnight, my lord husband," she teased. "What happened to the meek man I slept with only yesterday?"

He chuckled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "He now knows how pleasureful laying with his wife can be, and he's eager for more."

Her cheeks flushed a deep red, "Is that so?"

His eyes took in her flushed state, "Only if you'll have me."

She was taken aback by his words, only to have it grow a boldness within her, "Gods, I'll have you in every lifetime, Cregan Stark."

He brushed his lips against hers, and the kiss grew hungry. 

Cregan reached down below the blankets with a steady hand and she gasps when his fingers brush against his clit. 

She pushed her upper body away from him, "Evil man…"

His thumb continued its movement against her, "Tell me what you want."

She swung a leg over his body and she forced herself on top of him. His grin only widened as she did so.

Once comfortable, Cregan began his movements again. She let out a curse under her breath at the feeling.

His other hand found her waist, rubbing soothing circles against her skin. "Taking me like this, sweet woman?"

"I intend to try," she finally admitted as she willed herself to do so.

She reached down and lined his thick cock up to her body, and began to lower her hips.

She lets out a small whimper and the new sensation, "It's too much. It's too much… I can't…"

The hands on Cregan's chest are trembling even though they don't hold any of her weight.

She's never been on top before, and it's getting to her.

Cregan reaches up and grabs her jaw, pulling her face down to his gently. His voice was a calm reassurance,"It's not. Look at me."

He waits until she does, "You know you can take it. You've taken it before. You're just panicking. Take a breath."

He watches her chest expand and contrast with a shaky breath. 

"Do it again."

He makes her continue this until he can feel her walls relax around him. 

"Good. You're doing good, sweet girl."

His hands go to her hips and gently push her further down on him more.

This time a moan leaves her lips instead. "Oh, gods…"

A string of groans leaves Cregan's lips when she begins to roll her hips. 

Judging by the confidence she just gained, they'll be doing this position more often.

"You complete me, my girl," he finally moans out as his hand moves to her clit again. 

The two move in tandem, as if they were truly made for one another. 

Completely drunk on pleasure, she lowers her upper body to his, desperately trying to capture his lips with hers.

He is quick to give in, letting her take anything she wanted. 

The kiss is messy and unorganized, gasps and moans interrupting it consistently, but the two didn't care. 

This new feeling was worth it.

"Only one w…" Cregan let out a stiff whine when she rolled her hips just right, "w… one woman for me, and it's you… gods, it's you."

He didn't last long, and neither did she, the two making a mess of the furs on their bedspread. 

She collapsed onto him, not bothering to pull herself off of him completely. He brushed a hand up and down her back comfortingly.

Once the two caught their breath, she interrupted the silence. "We still have time…"

......................................

Taglist: @twinkletwinklenotastar, @kidd3ath,@yujyujj, @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @8812-342, @thorins-queen-of-erebor, @kingdomzeldaquest @nyxbranwenn, @callsignwidow, @a1lexh-blog, @alyssa-dayne, @ethereal-athalia, @ashovertheriver

[cloudzoro]

Hello!! Could you do Sanji and 22, perhaps? (I also just adore your writing and eagerly await each new post, it’s so lovely and well done <3)

hiiii!!! thank you so much for enjoying my writing 😭💕 I get excited when you reblog my fics bc your tags always make me giggle ♡

(22 - sleepy domestic sex)

cw: smut, soft sanji, fem!reader

Breakfast | Black Leg Sanji ♡

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You wake up before Sanji, something that almost never happens. You observe him at peace for a few minutes, then his sixth sense kicks in, and he wakes up as he feels you staring.

“Good morning, My Love,” he says, sleep lingering in his voice. “I had a dream about you,” he says, grabbing your arm and pulling your leg up to rest on his waist. He's touchy with you at all times, hands squeezing your ass and smoothing over your skin. Sanji is always ready to fuck; he can't help himself when he has you in arms reach.

“Oh yeah? Was it a nice dream?” you tease, not showing him how affected you are by his wandering hands. He reaches to twirl your hair around his finger. His cheeks are dusted pink, and he nods bashfully. “Maybe you should show me what we were doing in your dream”.

Sanji rolls the pair of you so that he's hovering over you. He kisses your neck. Your hands rest on the back of his shoulders. He's glad you both slept naked. It makes it so much easier to trail his lips down your body. His tongue makes patterns all over the skin on your stomach. You can hear him quietly whispering love confessions into your skin.

Despite being tired, he's eager when he spreads your legs open. He laps at your pussy. He's messy as he devours his breakfast, moaning against your clit as he flicks his tongue over it. The sound of his name on your lips fuels him. He's nothing if not a devoted lover. He grinds against the bed sheets as he works you towards an orgasm. He adds his fingers to the mix, easing two fingers into your pussy. He thrusts and curls his fingers as he suctions his mouth around your swollen clit. You're practically thrown over the edge. Sanji doesn't bother to push apart your thighs as they clamp shut around his head. He's more than happy just to have your warm legs wrapped around his head on what is otherwise a rather chilly morning. The lazy morning atmosphere has both of your guards down.

Sanji lets you calm down before pulling away and slipping his fingers out of you. He lays next to you, fully intent on drifting back to sleep and enjoying a rare lazy morning with you, but you have other plans. You roll onto your side, and Sanji eagerly follows, not wanting to miss out on your body heat and comfort. With your back to his chest, you push your ass against his cock.

“Oh baby, you don't have to do that,” he says, wrapping his arms around you to still you.

“I know, but I want to”, you whine. “if we do it like this, we don't have to move much,” you say, turning your head to the side so he can lean over and give you a kiss much softer than his usual affection.

“only if you want it”, he reiterates, and you reach behind you to grab his cock, lifting your leg and guiding him to your entrance. Sanji quickly shoos your hand away, grabbing for himself. “I'll do all the work, sweet girl. You just lie there and feel good.”

He presses his cock between your legs at first, coating in your juices before finally pushing it inside you. He groans deep in his throat. It's a noise you don't hear from him all too often. He gently rocks his hips, whispering about his love for you as he fucks you deep. Sanji's mind usually goes blank once he's inside you, but this morning, he's surprisingly alert; maybe it's because you're the sleepy one with a foggy mind, and he's taking care of you.

You're quieter than usual, perhaps due to it being the early hours of the morning, but Sanji still treasures every stunted gasp and shaky moan that he can catch falling from your lips. His hips work slowly as he builds your orgasm. He slips one of the arms he has wrapped around you to your clit, adding more stimulation as his cock drags against the wall.

You cum with a strained whimper of his name, pussy squeezing around his cock. Sanji coos words of encouragement, keeping his fingers moving as you release around him. He thanks you for letting him touch you and please you and for giving him your cum. You let out a tired laugh and kiss him to cut off his rambling. He sees that this morning session has tired you out again and readjusts you against his chest, keeping his cock buried inside you.

“You get some rest, beautiful. I'll make your favourite breakfast later.”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

thank you so much for reading!

general tag list and character specific tag lists are always open!

tag list: @bloodfixnd @sexysapphicshopowner @beachaddict48 @lem-hhn @operationroots

[yamikawas]

hey. ⚡️Yoomtah has been busy. Even though my circuits can run dry you’re the only thing on my mind. Your life sustains me, darling. And I can tire myself out and recharge in your arms. Zzt! I have all of you to myself already. So tonight I’ll rest in your arms. 🌸

AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOOMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ;///; PLS COME RECHARGE IN MY ARMS AS MUCH AS U WANT I'LL HUG U SO TIGHT AND KISS U ON UR HEAD I LOVE U SO MUCH CMERE<3<3<3MAKING GRABBY HANDS AT U RN I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I L O V E Y O U

[homestylehughes]

reading interruptions

pairing(s): quinn hughes x fem!reader

summary: when yn gets interrupted by quinn and his dirty mouth, while reading on the boat.

warning(s): plot with porn, smut 18+, oral fem!receiving, dirty talk, cussing. quinn has a dirty mouth in this. fluff, cute reader and quinn.

wc: 2.8k

an: hiiiii!!! new quinn ficcccc. i will never leave my quinn era. ever. recently ive been in a summer mood, first with sundresses and now with boats idk whats going on LOL. i honestly dont know where this idea came from, and for some reason i think it's bad? idk maybe ive just been looking at it too long i couldnt tell you LOL. so let me know if you guys like it or not. anyways!! i'll stop yapping now. i hope you guys enjoyyyy, like and reblog if you do! as always much love <3

happy reading <3

The morning sun comes through the window, peeking through everglow slightly illuminating the room, casting a light glow over the walls and a sleeping quinn. Quinns body lays partially over mine, our legs intertwined together. his face nuzzled into my neck, soft snores leave his mouth as he sleeps soundly against me.

There weren't many days where I'd wake up before Quinn, his schedule keeping and waking him up at the early hours of the day. Ever since the hockey season ended in a heartbreaking loss in the playoffs, he'd been sleeping more, getting the much deserved rest he’s needed. Quinn wanted away from hockey, from Vancouver, so he decided heading to the lake house earlier than usual to get away from everyone would be the fix. 

Which leads us to the position we're in now, my hands moving slowly up and down his back as he still sleeps soundly against me. Quinn always looks the most peaceful when he’s sleeping, so at peace and calm.

I feel quinns body shift slightly besides me, feeling him roll away from me, my body already feeling cold without his warmth beside me. I sit up in the bed, watching Quinn stretch and yawn himself awake, rubbing his eyes like a little kid before he turns to me with a soft smile on his face.

“Good morning” he says, his voice thick with sleep. 

“Good morning handsome” I smile back “sleep well?” 

“Mhm” he mumbles out as he makes his way to me from across the bed, grabbing my thighs pulling me on top of him. 

“Hi” i giggle from above him 

“Hi baby” he grins at me, his hands finding my neck pulling me down into a sweet kiss. My hands lay flat against his chest as I melt into the kiss. After a few moments I pull away to catch my breath, and to get a better look at him. The glow of the sun now being at its brightest, covering most of the room. Highlighting Quinn's body, his golden brown locks and blue eyes shining brightly in the glow. 

“You look so pretty” I say, as I bring my hands to his cheeks, running my fingers over his jaw, over every scar. Tracing and taking in everything part of him, memorizing every line like I've never seen them before. Quinn blushes at my complement, nuzzling his face into my hand, a smile breaking through on his features as he does so.

“Thank you baby” he says, bringing his head back to lay against the pillow looking back at me. “What do you want to do today?” his hands running across my bare thighs, his touch spreading warmth throughout my body. 

“Could we go on the boat?” i ask

“Is that what you want to do?” he asks me again.

“Mhm, yes. I even brought a new book to read to you, just for this, " I say with a smile.

 Quinn loves when i read to him, the peaceful feeling of being on the boat, the waves flowing beneath would be the perfect setting. 

“Alright you've convinced me, maybe we could even have lunch on the boat too? If you're up for that?” 

“That's fine with me, just want to be around you” I say before dropping my head into his neck, breathing in his scent, his arms circling around my waist pulling my body flush against his. 

“Okay baby” he says into my hair

 “Okay come on, let's get up. '' I said, lifting myself from him, patting his chest before swinging my legs off of him getting out of bed.

“I'm cominggggg” Quinn says from the bed, as I make my way to the bathroom, turning back around to see him lying face down in the middle of the bed, his arms and legs fanning out across the bed. 

Giggles rip through my body as I look at his childlike state, shaking my head as I take another glance at him before turning around heading to the bathroom to start getting ready for my day.

Taking a quick shower, throwing on a random swimsuit, before heading down stairs to start making lunch for myself and Quinn to take on the boat. 

Deciding on sandwiches and chips, with some fruit would be the best option for lunch. Just as I'm packing everything up I see Quinn coming down the stairs, in a pair of black swim trunks and a Canucks shirt. 

'What did you pack for lunch?’ he asks, pressing a kiss to the side of my head, walking behind me to the fridge to grab bottles of water before turning back the counter, putting the bottles of water in the cooler.

“Sandwiches, chips and fruit, is that okay with you?” I say as I place the food into the cooler along with the water, closing the top before looking up at quinn. 

“Yeah that's fine with me baby, perfect” he says leaning in for a quick kiss

“Do you have everything you need?” he says while grabbing the cooler from the counter walking towards the back door

“Yes I think so, let me go grab my bag from the couch then I'm ready” I say smiling at him, making my way to the living room grabbing my bag that has my book, sunglasses and other things in it, pulling it over my shoulder before following Quinn out the back door.

Following him down the dock towards the boat, reaching the boat, Quinn got on first placing the cooler down before turning around offering me his hand, helping me step on the boat. 

Walking over, placing my things on one of the seats, turning around, taking a look at the lake, the site never fails to take my breath away. I feel Quinn's arms circle my waist, pulling my body against his. 

“Where do you wanna go today?” he asks me, his chin resting on my shoulder as he looks out at the lake. 

“Doesn't matter me” i say turning around wrapping my arms around his neck, “take us where the wind takes you” 

“That was so corny” he laughs 

“Yeah it sounded better in my head..” i say laughing along with him

“It was still cute” he says, giving a kiss to my forehead, turning around making his way to the dock, untying the boat from the dock. 

“Okay ma'am we’re about to take off, all passengers please remain in your seats” he says with a smile spreading along his features. 

“Yes caption” I say, saluting him, taking a seat on the boat.

Making his way to the cockpit sitting down, turning on the boat before taking off along the water, the wind blowing in my hair as we ride across the lake

The boat rocks gently to the calm waves that run through the lake, Quinn docking the boat, now at a standstill in the middle of the lake. The bright summer sun beating on our skin, the warmth casting over my body as I grab my book, before settling back in my seat. Moving a pillow to rest under my neck and part of my upper back, laying down to rest myself against it, pulling my knees up, so i can rest my book on my thighs opening it book, i begin reading,

The romance novel pulls me into an alternate reality so deep that  I forget that I'm even on the boat with Quinn until his voice breaks through the silence. 

“I missed it out here” he says his eyes looking around the lake taking in it like it's his first time seeing it, “i forgot how peaceful it is out here” he continues.

“ It's so peaceful out here, it's nice to see you so relaxed” I say to Quinn, looking at him above the pages of my book.

“I thought you were supposed to read to me baby?” he asks

“Come over here” I say with a smile, opening my legs so he can rest in between them. his footsteps padding across the boat, as he lays himself between my legs, his warm skin laying against mine, his arms circling around my waist as he pulls himself closer to me. 

“Comfortable?” I say looking down at him, his head resting against my stomach, Quinn shaking his head up and down in response. 

“Good. okay, now where was I?” my eyes searched for where I left off on my page, finding my spot again, taking a deep breath before I began reading. My eyes glance down every few minutes to see if Quinn is asleep or not, occasionally feeling his fingers trace down my sides, as I continue to read to him. Just as I'm getting to an interesting part in my chapter, I feel Quinn's body move lower against mine, not thinking anything of his movement. I continue reading. 

Pausing to take a deep breath before reading the next line, I feel a warm kiss being placed right below my belly button, causing me to stop reading, lifting the book up, looking down at Quinn whose face is right in front of my covered core, his eyes locked with mine. 

“What are you doing?” I ask slightly confused at his actions

“Nothing, just wanted to lay down here, keep reading for me baby” 

“Okay” I say before licking my lips, picking up on the unread line. 

I don't even make it through half the page before I feel Quinn pressing more kisses across my lower stomach, kissing all along the top of my bottoms. His fingers sliding under the ties on the slides pulling down slightly, rubbing his fingers along the skin under. 

Clearing my throat before starting again, my brain struggling to register the words I'm reading, all of my focus on the man between my legs. My brain goes completely to mush, when I feel quinn pressed kisses against my covered core, my breath immediately hitching at the sudden touch. 

“Quinn, i'm trying to read '' my eyes locking with his, a small smirk dances along his face. 

“No ones stopping you from reading baby” he says, his fingers moving under the sides of my bottoms. 

His hands move to pull on one of the strings that hold the left side of my bottom together, pulling it apart with one tug, repeating the same action on the other side, his eyes still locked with mine. 

“Quinn '' my breath hitching, as he moved his thumbs under the now loosened fabric, peeling it back, exposing my bare cunt, the wind casting a slight breeze causing me to shutter when it hits my exposed center. 

“Quinn” I say again, my voice slightly higher than the previous attempt, trying to get his attention. 

“Yes?” 

“What are you doing? I thought you wanted me to read to you?” 

“I did, but now I want to hear that pretty mouth make some other noises,” he says, before grabbing the loosened bottoms from my body, throwing them somewhere on the boat. Grabbing the book out of my hands, closing it, throwing it in the same direction. 

“Quinn, are you serious, I was reading!” I am slightly annoyed but turned on at the sudden change of Quinn's intentions.

“Shhhhhh, lay back and let me have a taste” his eyes locked with mine as he began tracing random shapes on the insides of my thighs, his hand inching closer and closer to my exposed cunt. 

I couldn't help but comply with his words, his face inching closer and closer to my center, I felt his warm breath against my folds. His tongue darted out, licking a stripe down my center. My head falls back against the pillow, as he begins to lick at my folds. his hands pulling my thighs apart, gaining better access to my cunt. 

His tongue finds my clit as he begins to run his tongue along the bud, my jaw falling slack as my hands grab his hair, needing something to stabilize myself with. As he continues to lap up my clit, like a popsicle on a hot summer day. 

“Quinn, fuck” I moan out from above him, his movements never slowing running his tounge over every part of my cunt. The sound of him sucking up everybit of my wetness, is like music to my ears.

“Taste so good baby” he mutters against my cunt, before diving back in, his hands pulling my thighs further apart as he continues to devour my cunt. 

“Quinn don't stop please” my chest rising and falling quickly as I struggle to catch my breath. My body feels like it's on fire, not just from the heat of the sun on my skin but from the feeling of Quinn’s burning touch.

His tongue continues to thrust in and out of my weeping hole, my moans growing louder and louder as I feel myself getting closer to my peak. 

“Fuck look at you baby” pulling his face away from my cunt, bringing two of his fingers dragging them through my cunt, my wetness coating his fingers. 

“Look at that baby” he says now looking up at me, holding the two fingers in front of him, “do you wanna taste?” he asks me 

Nodding my head in a yes, Quinn brings his fingers to my mouth pushing my lips apart, shoving them into my mouth slowly. My tongue swirls around the digits, the taste of my cunt wrapping around each of my taste buds. 

My eyes are locked with Quinn’s as I continue to suck on his fingers, his eyes hooded with mine, blown with lust and he looks up at me. He slowly pulls the fingers out of my mouth, a string of saliva following them. Tracing his fingers down my stomach down to my core, before running them across my cunt, my body itching around nothing from the action. 

“Quinn” i whine

“What baby?” he says as continues to run his fingers along my cunt. 

“Do you want my fingers? Is that what you want?” 

“Yes fuck please” i whine again, my hands finding his hair again pulling it, hoping that, that will urge him along. 

“So needy baby” he says laughing against my cunt, placing a kiss to my slit before pushing two fingers into my cunt. 

My head dropping back instantly, my body feeling full, as he starts thrusting his fingers in and out. Broken moans are falling from my lips, my eyes closed as my body moves against his. Moving my hips to help meet his thrusts. 

“Right there right there” I moaned, my legs beginning to shake as I felt myself about to come. 

“Quinn” i whine out, as he attaches his mouth to my clit, rolling his tongue over it, as his fingers continue to fuck me. 

“Please dont stop fuck” lifting my head to look at quinn, the sight of him inbetween my legs, mouth wrapped around my clit, as i watch his fingers thrust in and out me, takes my breath away. 

Quinn's eyes looking up, locking them with mine, his movements never stilling. My hips continue to move against his, the burning feeling in the pit of my stomach continues to grow with every touch, thrust, everything setting my body a blaze. 

One last curl of his fingers sends me into a frenzy, my head dropping back against the pillow, my month agape but no words are coming out. My legs shaking as I come, my hands still in Quinn's hair pulling the locks so hard that it probably hurts. My vision clouds over as my orgasm takes over my body. 

I don't even realize Quinn's fingers have left my body, until I feel him pressing kisses along my neck. My eyes opened slowly, my chest still rising and falling, struggling to catch my breath and find my words. 

“Are you with me, pretty girl?” Quinn says, looking down at me, pushing hair that's fallen into my face back. 

“Yeah i think so” bringing my hands to his face, pulling him down into a kiss. 

“Did so good for me” he says once he pulls back, “always so good to me” he says peppering kisses all over my face. 

“I love you” i mumble to him

“I love you more” rubbing small circles on my sides, as he looks at me, a wide smile on his face. 

“Can you go grab my book?” I ask him with a small pout on my lips

“Oh im not done with you yet” quinn says with a smirk playing his face, before flipping us over, my hips now straddling his lap. 

“I think this is next to go” pulling at my top, undoing the strings in the back pulling it from my body tossing it somewhere in the boat, my top now completely bare to him. 

“Now where was i?” he says licking his lips, before crashing ours together. 

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Coming Out

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: some explicit language, mention of an unsub hurting Emily 😱, vague insinuations of homophobia, mostly fluff on fluff, feat. loyal himbo Derek Morgan Word Count: 2k

Summary: Emily gets injured on the job, and all she really wants is you, her girlfriend. But she's not out to the rest of the team yet. Can she be vulnerable enough to share that part of herself with the team? Can she be vulnerable enough to let you take care of her? Takes place at the end of S3.E2.

Emily dabbed at her head and winced, checking her watch to see if it had been long enough to take more pain medication. But despite getting clocked with a plank of wood, she was glad to be on the jet, glad to be back with her team because they really were starting to feel like her team. Who was she kidding? She loved her job.

According to the pilot, the team would be landing at Quantico in a little over an hour. Emily grabbed her phone, discreetly shoving it into her pocket, before heading to the back of the plane. She needed to call you, but the rest of the team didn't know about you yet. Hell, the rest of the team didn't even know she was gay. It felt too personal, and she'd been hurt by people's reactions–people she loved and trusted deeply–too many times. She played her relationships and her sexuality close to the vest.

Reid tapped Emily's arm as she passed by.

"Oh! Are you going all the way to the back?"

Emily tensed. "Yep."

"Could you bring me a Sprite?"

She felt her shoulders relax, and she patted Reid on the arm. "Sure."

After knocking on the bathroom door to make sure that truly no one was around, she called you, her voice hushed as she rifled through tiny airplane soda cans, looking for Reid's Sprite.

"Hey, Em," you said, your voice bright.

"Hey," she said, a goofy smile spreading across her face. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing much. Saw a street rat earlier. I named him Guillermo. I think he's on the prowl for a girlfriend."

Emily laughed, covering her mouth.

"How was Milwaukee?" you asked.

"Good. Really good. We got the guy. We're on the plane now."

She could nearly hear how smug you were through the phone.

"You're glad you went back," you snickered, relishing in being right. She'd sworn that it wasn't a big deal, that it'd be easy to get another good job, but you knew her heart was with the BAU.

Emily sighed. "I am. You were right."

"You're gonna stay?"

"Looks that way."

"I knew it!" you crowed. "I'm glad. You're too good at your job to quit it."

"Thanks, love. Listen, Y/N, can I ask you a favor?"

"Of course! Anything."

Emily winced, touching the swollen bump on her head. "We land in about an hour. Can you pick me up and stay at my place tonight?"

"Wow." You drew out the vowel, milking the fact that Emily needed you for once. "You missed me that much, huh?"

"Well, yes, of course, but... I, uh... I kind of have a concussion?"

Your tone shifted immediately from smug to concerned. "What?! Why?! What happened!?"

"Unsub hit me with a plank of wood," she admitted reluctantly.

"Jesus Christ, Em! Are you okay!?"

"I'm fine, baby, I promise," she reassured you. "I just got a little banged up, that's all. But I'll need you to wake me up every few hours and make sure I'm cognizant."

"I think I have some soup in the freezer," you observed, your voice far away. You'd put her on speakerphone to rifle through the cabinets. "And I have a thermometer. I don't know, do concussions cause fevers? I've never had one."

Emily shook her head, smiling. She loved that your first response, always, was to take care of her. Emily was not used to being taken care of, and she didn't let many people do it. She certainly wouldn't let many people see it either. But she let you.

"No thermometers needed. Just you and your car and more you when we get home."

"You got it. When did you say you land?"

"In about an hour."

"Okay. I'll leave in a few."

"Oh," Emily added quickly. "And you're cleared to drive into Quantico. They know the car you drive and they've got your ID on file. Just show it to them at the gate."

You paused. "Well, that's a little Big Brother of them."

"I gave it to them a few months ago. Just in case you ever needed to come by. Sorry, I should've told you."

"It's okay," you decided, pulling on a jacket and a beanie. "It feels kind of badass to be on Quantico's list."

Emily laughed, almost excited to have a concussion because it meant you'd be snuggled right up to next to her for however long it took to get better. 48 hours at least.

"Alright, baby," she finished, Reid's Sprite in hand. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Bye, love."

Emily wiped the grin off her face before returning to the cabin with Reid's Sprite–it'd look suspicious if she was too happy coming back.

An hour later, the team was going their separate ways in the parking lot, waving goodbyes and slamming car doors under the buzzing lights.

Emily leaned on the wall outside the building entrance, relishing the crisp night air.

"You need a ride, Prentiss?" Morgan asked as he walked out, used go-bag slung over his shoulder. "You shouldn't be driving" He pointed to her head.

"No, that's okay," Emily waved him off. "I've got– uh... someone's... picking me up."

Fuck, she thought. The concussion was not helping her ability to lie well.

Morgan stared at her suspiciously.

"What?" Emily laughed, trying to act normal.

"Why are you acting shifty?"

"I'm not!" she protested.

Morgan smirked and waggled his eyebrows. "Do you have a secret boyfriend?"

"What?" Emily said, laughing a little too forcefully. "No!"

He crossed his arms and waited. "You're seriously not gonna tell me?"

Emily leaned against the brick wall, rubbing her forehead. On the one hand, she was tired of keeping you–and herself–a secret. And if anyone was going to be supportive of someone on the team getting laid, it would be Morgan. But on the other, did she really know that much about him? She didn't know his religious background. Sure, he'd defend a gay victim, but that was his job. This was personal.

Emily sighed before replying. "I have... I have a secret girlfriend."

The silence felt like it lasted hours, stretching between them until Emily was sure the chasm would never close again, and that with just a few words, just by being herself, she'd ruined any chance of a friendship with Derek Morgan. It wouldn't be the first time. It probably wouldn't be the last.

Morgan seemed to think deeply before leaning against the wall next to Emily, turning to look her in the eye.

"Prentiss, why didn't you tell us you were gay?"

Emily was afraid to look at him, but when she did, her heart soared. He looked at her with nothing but love and respect and appreciation, no hint of hatred or disgust. If anything, he looked sad that she'd waited so long to tell him.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I don't always get a good reaction."

"Well, you know nobody on this team would have a problem with that, right? Hell, Garcia'd probably hang pride flags everywhere."

"I know," Emily nodded. "I just... I don't think I'm ready yet. For everyone to know. Soon, though."

Morgan nodded, then thought for a few minutes before asking, "Is it serious?"

Emily chuckled. "Being gay? Yeah, I'd say so."

Morgan shoved her shoulder gently, mindful of the day's injuries. "No! The girl! How long have you been seeing her?"

"A little over six months."

"So, it's serious."

Emily grinned. She was glad to have someone to talk to about this. She'd held it so close for so long. She wasn't used to having anyone to tell about you. Maybe Morgan could be that person.

"Promise not to tell the others?"

Morgan put his hand over his heart. "Promise."

"I'd marry her tomorrow if she'd let me."

"Wow." Morgan raised his eyebrows, smiling lightly. "Prentiss is in love," he said, teasing her.

Emily fought a wide smile, but lost in the end. "Oh, shut up. And don't tell anyone. Especially her."

"Your secret's safe with me," Morgan reassured her. And she could tell he meant it. Emily trusted him, she realized. She trusted him to be a good friend, to keep her secrets. She trusted him not to out her to the rest of the team. He'd let her go at her own pace when it came to telling the others.

"She better be amazing," Morgan added. "I don't know how anyone could be good enough for you."

Just at that moment, a pair of headlights crept slowly into the parking lot, hesitant and unsure. It had to be you. Emily stepped forward and waved a bit, then turned to Morgan.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow?" she said.

"Not with that head, you won't," Morgan observed.

You put the car in park next to the curb and leapt out of the driver's seat, hurrying over to Emily.

"Oh my god!" you exclaimed, anger and concern washing over you. "I thought you you said you were fine!"

You gingerly touched Emily's face and pulled her head down to examine the butterfly bandage above her eyebrow.

"Look at this," you grumbled, more to yourself than anyone else. "It's already bruising." You glared at the butterfly bandage. "Did a doctor do this or you? If it was you, I think we should clean it with rubbing alcohol at home."

Morgan looked absolutely delighted, both because you seemed like a delightful person and because Emily was beet red at being observed with you.

"Y/N, I'm fine," Emily said firmly, grasping your fingers in hers and removing them from her face. "This is my colleague Derek Morgan. Morgan, my girlfriend, Y/N."

You looked Morgan over and immediately decided you liked him. Mostly because you could tell that he really cared about Emily. But also because he looked mischievous, like he'd tease her. And if there was anything you loved, it was teasing Emily. You shook his hand enthusiastically. "It's really nice to meet you," you said. And you meant it.

But you didn't have time to chat with Morgan tonight. You were too worried about Emily.

"You don't look fine," you argued, looking to Morgan for backup. "Does she look fine to you?"

Morgan grinned at Emily, raising his eyebrows. "She definitely looks like she could use some TLC."

"Oh, and she'll get it alright," you assured him, opening the passenger door for Emily. "Shall we?"

Emily bent gingerly to get into the car, and you were careful to guard her head from the ceiling.

"Derek, it was really nice to meet you," you said, shaking his hand one more time for good measure as Emily rolled down the window, staring bullets at Morgan.

"You too, Y/N," he said, looking over your shoulder at Emily. "I hope you all have a very marry evening."

Emily pointed at him aggressively behind your back, mouthing, "SHUT. UP."

"See you, Prentiss," he called as you pulled away. He laughed and called out, "I hope it's a real honeymoon from work!"

Emily's hand shot out the window, flipping him off.

Later that night, your alarm buzzed and you blinked awake. You forgot for a moment that you were at Emily's, but her strong arms wrapped protectively around your waist were enough to remind you where you were.

You turned slowly to face a sleeping Emily, brushing her hair out of her face.

"Em. Hey. You gotta wake up, honey."

She groaned, placing a hand on her head.

"Sorry," you grimaced. "Gotta make sure your brain's alright."

"My brain is fine," she growled.

"Oh, yeah?" you joked, checking the time before shaking a few pills into your hand from the pill bottle on the nightstand. "Who am I, then?"

"The love of my life, Whitney Houston."

You laughed, which made Emily laugh, too. But she quickly doubled over in pain, groaning.

"Here, take these," you said gently, handing her the pills and a glass of water. "It'll help."

She took the pills obediently and lay back down.

"You know," you said, pulling up the blankets to make sure they covered Emily's shoulders. "I may not be Whitney Houston..." You wrapped your arms around her and drew her to you, and she burrowed her head into the space between your neck and your collarbone.

"But I think I'm a close second," you finished, running your fingers rhythmically through Emily's hair.

She sighed contentedly, pressing into you, then moving one of your arms to wrap it more tightly around her.

"Why are you so good to me?" she asked, quiet. You couldn't quite tell if it was a joke or serious, but you'd reply the same either way.

"Because I love you, you nerd."

She leaned up, planting a kiss underneath your chin. "I love you, too."

Within minutes she was conked out again, and you were setting another alarm, ready to do it all over again in a few hours.

[blueeyedgirll]

shark week surprise - spencer reid x f!reader

spencer reid x f!reader on her period

this fic includes: fluff, descriptions of bad periods and period paraphernalia, spencer being a sweetie pie and doting on you, established relationship, non-bau reader, pet names, early seasons spencer, use of midol, no use of y/n, unrealistic depiction of spencer's job, reader being shorter than spencer

word count: 1,053

a/n: you'll never guess what time of the month it is for me ;) im testing out using gifs on my fics so tell me what you think my lovely returning readers!

"It hurts," you say into your phone.

"I know it does, honey. I'm sorry. I'm sure a heating pad and some medicine can help with your cramps," Spencer responds sympathetically, recalling all of the period remedies he had learned.

"I took some Midol about an hour ago and I have the heating pad on right now. It's not helping much."

"Hmm..." Spencer pauses for a moment. "I've read that light exercise and hot tea or water can help. Are you feeling well enough to talk to the kitchen and make some tea? I think there's still some of the chamomile and honey tea I bought you in the pantry, and the walking might help."

"I should be alright. Will you stay on the phone with me?" you plead.

"Of course I will. Luckily, I'm in my hotel room for the night, so I have as much time as you need."

"Thank you, Spence."

"You're welcome, love."

You hobble to your kitchen, phone in hand, and start to make yourself a cup of chamomile tea.

The few minutes it took for the kettle to boil felt excruciatingly long, but having Spencer on the phone to distract you helped.

"I was reading an article about Spanish idioms, and I saw one I thought you would like," Spencer prompts.

"Yeah? What's that?" You say, leaning against your kitchen counter.

"Well, it literally means 'Thinking about the immortality of the crab,' but it's a way to say that instead of just sitting idly, you were engaged in active thought or daydreaming. Kind of like saying you're just letting your mind wander," Spencer says, his voice growing more excited as he elaborates.

"I think about the immortality of the crab a lot, then," You joke.

"I know. That's why I thought you would like it."

You scoff and bring your now finished cup of tea back into your bedroom, where you had been hibernating amidst every fuzzy blanket you could find.

You pull the heating pad back over your lap and get as cozy as you can with your hellish cramps. As nice as your bedspread may be, however, you know that you would be a lot more comfortable with Spencer cuddled up next to you.

"When are you gonna be back home, Spencer?" You ask.

"Well, we haven't gotten very many good leads, so we're a little stuck right now. It might be a few more days. I'm sorry, honey," He responds apologetically.

"Oh... That's okay. I get it."

You did get it. It wasn't uncommon for Spencer to be gone for days, sometimes a few weeks at a time. But the searing pain and high estrogen levels just made you want him near you even more.

"I'm sorry. You know I would so much rather be taking care of you right now," Spencer follows.

"Ain't no rest for the wicked."

"Exactly." Spencer pauses for a moment, lets out a sigh, and shuffles around in his room. "You should get some rest. You may feel better tomorrow as your hormones decrease."

"I know. I love you, Spence."

"I love you too, darling. I'll see you soon. Hang in there."

"I will. Bye."

You hang up the phone and sigh dramatically. It was only Friday night, and without work to prepare for or Spencer to spend time with, you were forced to entertain yourself for the weekend.

You start by putting on an older show to rewatch, but don't make it through much before you fall into an uncomfortable sleep.

You wake up the next morning to your phone ringing. Rubbing your dry eyes, you pick up your phone and see Spencer's contact flash across your screen. You pick up, clearing your throat before you speak.

"Morning, love."

"It's eleven AM, darling. But good morning to you, too," Spencer responds. In the background of the call, you hear what sounds like a turn signal.

"Whatever. Where are you?"

"I'm in the car," He says uninformatively.

"Okay, then where are you heading?"

"To my destination."

What a turd. You groan in exasperation.

"If it makes you feel better, I have something for you,' Spencer tells you.

"Like what?"

"It should be arriving just about now, actually."

"What do you mean?" You question.

Before you could ask him anything else, you hear a knock at your door.

"Hang on, Spence. Someone's at the door," You say, placing your eye to the peephole.

To your great surprise, you see a tiny image of Spencer smiling outside your door with his phone up to his ear. You fling the door open and affirm that he is, in fact, at your door.

"Spencer!" You exclaim. He greets you as he throws his arms around you, lightly squishing you against his chest.

"I thought you weren't gonna be home for a few more days. What changed?" You ask, pulling away from his embrace to look up into his sweet brown eyes.

"The unsub basically turned himself in, so we all got to go home early. I would have came here earlier, but I had to make a stop," He says, gesturing to his right hand.

You look down to see a shopping bag. He smiles and walks into your living room, urging you to follow.

He slowly unpacks the bag, announcing every item as it appears.

"An array of candy -- fruit flavored as well as chocolate --, electrolyte drinks to keep you hydrated, a new bottle of Midol to help with the pain, and..." Out of a separate bag you hadn't noticed before, he pulls out a bouquet of fresh flowers. "Flowers because I thought you would like them."

He hands you the flowers and you smile up at him before enclosing him in another hug.

"Thank you, Spencer. You're so sweet."

"I'm just trying to make you feel better," He says, placing a kiss on your forehead.

"You're doing great."

He smiles into your hair before pulling away.

"What do you want to do? We can watch movies in bed, I can draw you a bath, we can go for a walk..." He trails off, looking to your for an answer.

"Let's go watch movies. We can find that new one we wanted to watch."

"Sounds good to me, love," He says, following you into the bedroom, snacks in hand.

[surielstea]

Simple Needs

Based on this request

Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: Azriel can’t keep his hands to himself

Warnings: Handsy Azriel | groping | suggestive

2.3k words

My eyes flutter open, slowly waking up, warm light seeps past the curtains as birds sing outside the window and bathe in the summer air.

My mates chest is pressed flush against my back, his wing draped over me as he places gentle kisses on my bare shoulder. I breathe in contentedly, picking up the scent of night chilled mist and cedar. I reach my hand back and weave my fingers through his hair.

"Good morning Az." I murmur. "Morning my love." His voice is deeper than usual, sleep still evident in his tone. I smile at the sound of it, pulling the blankets up higher— not planning to leave the warm bed anytime soon.

"Do you have assignments today?" I ask and he replies softly, "Just a few hours of paperwork. No missions." I nod and allow myself to burrow into him deeper, relishing in the feeling of his scarred hand traveling farther up my waist, to my ribs. "I think you should take the day off." I say, continuing to comb my fingers through his hair. "We could just lay here all day." I persuade and I think for a moment that I've got him convinced until he grunts out a curse and pulls me closer. "It's only a few hours, how about you go back to sleep, I'll be done by the time you wake up." He suggests and I shake my head no. "I can wait." I murmur. "I'll make some coffee." I offer and he hums in agreement before pulling me closer. "Just five more minutes." My mate mumbles into my skin and who was I to decline?

His hand goes higher, scars and callouses cupping over my breast and I allow it. He squeezes it slightly and a small smile spreads over my features. I stroke up and down his forearm with my freehand, savoring every moment as he just holds me close to him. He presses a soft kiss to the back of my neck, trailing it toward my jaw. I flip onto my back to peer up at him in a tangle of limbs and bedsheets. "Do you want pancakes?" I offer and he gives me a loving smile before dipping down and pressing his lips to mine for the first time today, his forehead coming down to rest against my own as he pulls away. "Just coffee's fine." He says and I nod, not wanting him to pull away. "But," He pecks my lips between words. "That's very kind of you." He whispers, his thumb brushing over the peak of my breast. "If we don't get up now it might never happen." I reason with him and he only grins. "Sounds like a plan to me." He hums, leaning down yet again to have my mouth against his. The intimacy was so casual, so normal for us. It takes me a moment to remember how we got here, that it wasn't always like this and I must've been the luckiest female in the world to get this every morning.

"C'mon." I flip out of the bedsheets. "Only a few hours, you said it yourself." I reprimand and he groans, his wing unfurling from around my body and tucking behind his back. I roll over him then off the bed, clumsily landing on my feet as I stumbled towards the armoire. He watches me shamelessly, eyes raking over every inch of my bare skin simply because he could.

I pulled one of Azriel's black shirts over my frame, the hem falling down to my upper thighs, just past the curve of my ass. He stares as I pick out a pair of panties, shuffling through the lacy underthings before finding a comfortable cotton thong and stepping into it, hiking it up my thighs before snapping the elastic to my hips.

I glance to him, his eyes already all over me. I doubt wearing shorts would change the way he stared so heedlessly so I opt out of any more clothing and walk towards him, hands on my hips as I reach the beside. "Are you going to get up or are you content on watching me?" I tilt my head. He doesn't reply but instead flips the covers off of him and stands. He grabs me, throwing me over his shoulder and I squeal.

His arm locks around the backs of my thighs as I hang upside down with a giggle. His other hand comes up to my ass for support, gripping it occasionally when I squirmed too much. "Put me down!" I whine but he doesn't do as I say, just continues stalking down the hallway until reaching the stairs. I pound against his back lightly as he descends the steps.

It's only when arriving in the kitchen does he place me back down onto my feet, slightly wobbly from the sudden change of weight. I look up at him slightly annoyed, he gives me a cheeky smile and I can't help but let that irritation fizzle away. I turn around towards the stove and open the cabinet to my right, spotting the coffee grounds on the very top shelf. I wasn't short by any means, Azriel was just freakishly tall and managed to make that fact blatantly clear every chance he got. "Do you have to put everything up so gods’ damned high?" I grumble as I hoist myself up onto the counter, rising onto my knees as I reach for the coffee transported here from the dawn court.

He doesn't offer to help but instead stands behind me, his hands coming to my exposed ass due to my reaching, kneading the plush skin and pressing a kiss to the small of my back. I manage to get the glass jar and as soon as I do his scarred hands wrap around my waist, then he guides me back to the floor.

I put a pot full of water onto the stove, watching the still liquid as I wait for it to boil. His abdomen pressed against my back as his chin propped up onto my head, draping over me in an attempt to get as close as possible.

"I'm a blanket." He breathlessly snickers, his hands slyly finding their way under my shirt, slipping past my middle and cupping my breasts yet again. I roll my eyes and incline my head up, at the action he tilts his head down at me. "Blankets don't have hands." I tease, he shrugs and squeezes my boobs without hesitation. "I'm new and improved." He flashes me a grin. I lift onto my toes and press a kiss to his lips from upside down.

"You're awfully handsy this morning." I murmur as he pulls back. "I have simple needs." He flicks his thumbs over the peaks of my breasts and I shiver at the awfully arousing feeling.

"Why don't you go get some work done?" I suggest. "I'll bring you your coffee." I say with a gentle smile but he frowns, clearly not wanting to leave my side. "The sooner you get to it the sooner you'll be done." I say matter of factly and he clicks his tongue, knowing I'm right. I bring my hands up to his, slowly pulling them out from my shirt. "And then I'll let you touch me wherever you want." I taunt. His eyes glow with lust and he nods, pecking my forehead before leaving my side, the warmth of his hands lingering across my skin.

Shadows stayed behind as I waited for the water to boil, the dark tendrils swishing around me as I begin humming a soft tune while making the coffee, pouring the rich brown liquid into two separate mugs. One gets a hefty amount of creamer and at least a tablespoon of sugar, the other remaining utterly plain and bitter. I can't help but smile at the dynamic of it, how it seems like a metaphor for who we are as people.

I pick both the mugs up by their handles, the liquid still steaming. I'm careful as I walk up the stairs, trying not to spill any on myself or the floor. Fortunately I make it to the landing without so much as a drop over the cups rim. The door to Azriel’s study was wide open for my entrance. As I walk in he doesn't look up from whatever paper he was writing on but more shadows wrap around me, excited for my returned presence.

I place the dark cup of coffee in front of him, my own now in my hands and warming me to my very bones as I take my first sip. "It's hot, alright?" I say, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his temple. He nods and I continue standing over him, watching as he worked. I marveled at all the tabs he kept on so many different people, folders thick and thin depending on the suspect.

Some part of me wondered if I had my own folder— my thoughts slipped away from me as a scarred hand curves around the back of my leg, finding purchase high up my inner thigh and gripping the area tightly, massaging the flesh and leaning his head onto my side.

He grabs his mug and sips from it leisurely as he reads over a report sent from Nuala. I didn't intervene, never understanding his spy work. I was utterly clumsy and horribly loud when trying to be quiet. I can still remember the sheer embarrassment I felt when Azriel tried to teach me how to walk silently on my feet. I sounded like an elephant compared to him.

He didn't mind, always said it gave his shadows so much to cling to, that he liked being next to someone who was the always life of the party, took the attention away from him and I quickly became one of the best distractions for spy work.

“I'm going to go read, come find me when you're done alright?" I run my hand through his hair. "Will you read in here?" He looks up at me with hopeful eyes. A smile tugs at my lips at the devotion in his gentle voice and I nod before leaning down and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

I saunter over to the floor to ceiling shelves full of Azriel's favorite books, I run my fingertips along the colorful, used spines until finding the small section at the right, full of romance novels my mate would never read but were solely there for me. I twist my lips to the side and decide on a clothbound book, its cover an intricately designed pattern of golds and greys, stark against the navy background.

I waltz over to a large leather chair in the corner, settling down into it and allowing it to swallow me whole. I place my mug on the side table and crack the book open.

The moment is peaceful, my mate and I doing our separate tasks in the comfort of each other's silence. The softness of it has my stomach fluttering with butterflies and the warmth that blooms in my chest felt like pure sunshine.

I was nearly halfway through the novel in my hands when Azriel turns in his stool and his eyes lay upon me. My mug has been empty for quite awhile now but I stayed in my spot because he asked me to, legs tucked to my chest and chin propped on my knees as I read. He gets up from his seat but I don't stir, only continue finishing up my chapter as he approaches my side. His hands stroke up my calves in a feeble attempt at getting my attention. "My love." He calls, I don't look up from the page I was on but I do reply with a soft, "hm?"

"I'm done working." He prompts, his hands now stroking up and down my thighs. "That's great, honey." I mumble incoherently, too sucked into the novel in my hands to even register what he said. He huffs in annoyance and picks me up from my comfortable position. I protest but he doesn't listen, stealing my seat on the comfortable chair then settling me down onto his lap. My objections stop at the new found position.

He chuckles as I snuggle into his bare chest, cracking my book open again and continuing where I left off. He slips his hands beneath my shirt yet again, in need of that skin to skin contact he often craved. One of his hands rest on my breast, per usual, but his other splayed across my hip, two of his fingers beneath my pantie’s waistband. Not doing anything arousing, just in need of feeling me without the restriction of any clothes. I melt into him as I flipped page, after page, my mind completely consumed by the book in my hands while his is consumed entirely by me, my scent, my body.

I finished the long chapter and flip to the next page, he flicks the peak of my breast in warning and a knowing smile curves my lips, I close the book and place it on the arm rest. I stretch my limbs out before cuddling back into him, settling my head back on his collar bone as I allow his hands to grope and roam wherever they wished.

"What are you thinking for lunch?" I ask with a soft yawn. "Is it too early in the day to say you?" He asks and I roll my eyes despite the way his comment makes my stomach flip. "If that's what you really want then I'm not going to stop you." I state, then adding, "however, I do wish to eat actual food at some point today."

"That can be arranged." He presses a hard kiss to my temple, then his hand massages my breast in a way that has my back arching. "You'll just have to be my dessert then."

Taglist: @fxckmiup @olive-main @iluvyewman-blog @gaymistakeboi @glam-targaryen @going-through-shit @fauxdette @amara-moonlight

Comment a “💙” to be added to the taglist!

[arkhammaid]

— ˚₊‧⁺˖THE LIGHTNING ON TRACK | THE GRID'S REACTION

fandom. formula one & mcu

about. the grid reacts to the news!

content warnings. some drivers are acting like assholes, some cursewords, 23!grid

notes. have another reaction chapter hehe

daniel ricciardo Guys

Guys wake up

IT'S IMPORTANT

lando norris ???

daniel it's 5am, why are you spamming rn

carlos sainz It's summer break, why can't you all shut up for once

daniel ricciardo Did no one see the news? Stark is coming to F1

carlos sainz To a race?

daniel ricciardo No you shithead, he's making a team

charles leclerc !!!!

lando norris at this point you'll never win monaco (because once stark joins, there no longer will BE monaco) charles leclerc Fuck you, nowins

daniel ricciardo This is serious... Tony fucking Stark wants to create an F1 team for the next season. @/max verstappen your winning streak will be over

charles leclerc Next season??? I thought for 26?

lewis hamilton Of course he would do that

charles leclerc Lewis, explain?? daniel ricciardo Yeah Lewis, please explain?

lewis hamilton Did any of you ever meet Tony? He will probably see the next season as test for the 2026 season. To train his mechanics and engineers and go all out. I bet many are saying it's a waste of money

carlos sainz It is a waste of money.

daniel ricciardo Yeah, they do. Reactions vary but 'experts' are saying that Tony is just wasting his time and should properly prepare for 26

lewis hamilton Knowing him, he already has a fully built car for 2026 and it's a beast.

fernando alonso Only the best for his daughter!

charles leclerc What. lando norris wdym his daughter??

george russell Why are you all awake at this bloody hour?

kevin magnussen Read the room. Everyone is in schock.

sergio perez Stupid. She will fail like every woman in motorsport with a rich father. Too dramatic.

lando norris i'm still confused???

oscar piastri Tony Stark has three children. Harley Keener-Stark, Y/n L/n-Stark, Peter Parker-Stark. Y/n is his only biological child and currently racing in Formula 3. She won Formula 4 last year.

charles leclerc I thought he only had sons?? When did Y/n appear? oscar piastri She 'appeared' the first time in January this year as Tony's daughter, no one knew before. lando norris how did you know? oscar piastri Google exists.

carlos sainz So daddy's money... great.

max verstappen I swear to god I will leave this chat the next time you all decide to fucking gossip at 6am like old women

daniel ricciardo It's important news!

max verstappen No it's not. Stark will be in F1 for a few years maximum and then leave again. It will pass

daniel ricciardo @/lewis hamilton you here? Don't you have anything else to add??

Fine, I'll guess I just ask the rest of the grid, you fucking bore.

daniel ricciardo @/everyone wakey wakey, it's time to wake up and talk!

mick schumacher Daniel? What's up?

george russell Ignore him. He has been annoying us because Tony Stark is coming to F1 and no one really cares. charles leclerc Lies and slander! I care!! lando norris yeah! me as well, idk what you're yapping abt

carlos sainz It's bullshit.

arthur leclerc Why do I have a bad feeling about Monaco...

ollie bearman THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING bianca bustamante It will be something for sure

lance stroll Well, I'm just happy to see another friendly face at the paddock :)

carlos sainz Of course you know Stark.

lance stroll You're just jealous esteban ocon As am I??? I'm your best friend AND MY BEST FRIEND HAS THE POTENTIAL OF KNOWING SPIDER-MAN???? AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME???????

daniel ricciardo I want everyone who knows anything related to Stark to immediately share with us because Lewis is ignoring me and I need to know. The only info we have right now, is that Stark will make a F1 team and that's it. I refuse to believe that's it. So, @/mick schumacher @/lance stroll spill the beans.

mick schumacher He didn't say anything last time I saw him, so I can't help you much.

lance stroll I know nothing, ask my dad.

daniel ricciardo I don't believe you.

pato o'ward If they say they don't know anything, then they don't? I don't know what's the problem, just wait for the next press release

max verstappen Do you even know Daniel. He's unable to wait for gossip. And he classifies this as gossip

daniel ricciardo Gee, thanks, feeling the love here

nico hülkenberg I wake up to 100+ notifications, why are you all like this?

kevin magnussen They're all idiots.

kevin magnussen @/tony stark could you please speed up with the press release? Daniel is setting all grid chats on fire and it's not funny anymore.

y/n stark ha, weak ass bitch kevin magnussen Watch your mouth missy

tony stark Should I tag Seb in a Tweet to announce it?

peter stark do it y/n stark do it harley stark do it

pepper potts-stark Don't do it. We will proceed with the plan. No matter how annoying the people in your private life are.

kevin magnussen Yes, ma'am, sorry for asking.

sebastian vettel I deserve more than a Tweet at 10am.

y/n stark speak your truth king peter stark sorry for suggesting otherwise (@/yn stark stop being such an attention seeker, we all know seb loves charles the most) y/n stark but charles is not here rn is he?

daniel ricciardo @/kevin magnussen EXPLAIN YOURSELF?!

carlos sainz What is going on now...

charles leclerc KMAG FOR STARK???? I didn't put this on my bingo card, now I lost 100 bucks. Fuck you Kevin

arthur leclerc Pay up bitch

oscar piastri Well done, man

nico hülkenberg And so he leaves he burning, ever sinking ship... the true hero- sorry, I meant coward

daniel ricciardo @/kevin magnussen I KNOW YOU'RE ONLINE YOU COWARD, COME HERE

I just want to talk to you

kevin magnussen No.

*kevin magnussen has left the chat*

fernando alonso There is your answer

several people are typing...

taglist. @lilypadlover , @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie , @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel, @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @akiraquote , @kiiyoooo , @nichmeddar , @nothingfuninthislife , @minkyungseokie , @fionaschicken , @lyrasconstellation , @spideybv28 , @keii134 , @starssfall , @tpwkstiles, @fangirl-dot-com , @nichmeddar , @lady-laura-speaks , @nikfigueiredo , @hinamesgigantica , @brakingboundaries , @almostjollypizza , @yoremins , @raizelchrysanderoctavius , @celesteblack08 , @watermelon-sugars-things , @lighttsoutlewis , @radiantdanvers , @vellicora, @sterredem , @hiireadstuff , @jolixtreesunn , @mypage-myfandoms , @nelly187 @greeneyesandsunshine , @fulla02 , @welovediaaxx , @whyamireadingthis , @67-angelofthelordme-67 , @blueberry64857959 , @winchesterwife27 , @six-call , @skywalker1dream , @mellowarcadefun , @cherry-piee , @peterholland04 , @motorsportloverf1 , @renarots , @msbyjackal , @woozarts , @leclucklerc , @yl90

crossed off tags mean i can't tag you!

DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE SERIES TAGLIST? please leave a comment on this post or send a non anonymous ask!

ARKHAM MAID 2024

[hughjackmansbicep]

The Seamstress

Contains: Logan Howlett X F!Reader

Summary: Youre a seamstress and he seems to have an endless supply of holey clothes....

Wordcount: 1.2k

Warnings: None :D

a/n: haiiiiii ive always loved this trope in fics !!! tehe!! srry for not writing much recently i got fired from my job LOL anywayssss... i was listening to the smiths writing this unrelated but related.

Most days bled together, the same mundane routine playing out in front of you each day. Wake up, go to work, go home, eat takeout, and pass out to some soap opera. Currently, the highlight of your life was finding out what was going to happen next on The Days of Our Lives. You were a seamstress in the middle of Manhattan; you owned a small shop off 64th, and although you were living out your dream, nothing excited you anymore. Every task felt exhausting; you couldn't even find passion in sewing anymore. That was until he stumbled into your shop.

“Hi, yeah, I was wondering if you'd be able to sew this up for me.” He grumbled, holding up what appeared to be some yellow and blue jumpsuit. You'd almost forgotten to respond, completely captivated by his sheer beauty. His gorgeous face, chiseled body, kitty-like hair, and you can't forget the unusual yet totally working for him mutton chops. “U-um, ahem, yeah, I totally could.” You manage to choke out, reaching for the clothing item. “How long do you reckon it'll take?” You examine the clothing carefully; it's decorated with rips and holes everywhere. He's lucky if I can get this finished by the end of the week, “Tomorrow.” Your mouth moves quicker than your brain can. “Cool, I'll come by at 10? Is that alright?” He asks, slowly backing out of the shop, his eyes never leaving you. ‘10am? I can't begin to do that either; I mean, I wouldn't get to sleep tonight’. “Yep! See you at 10!” Cure that mouth of yours; you give him a smile and an awkward wave as he makes his way out the door.

You blow your breath out as if you'd been holding it the entire time, sinking down into your chair. You silently cursed at yourself for agreeing to such a stupid timeframe, but this meant you could binge Days of Our Lives tonight, so maybe it wasn't half bad.

The rest of the day went just as you expected. A couple hems, a few cinches—nothing out of the ordinary apart from the comic book cosplay you agreed to revive back to life. It was currently 3 o’clock in the morning; you'd been sitting there sewing the garment for 7 hours. Honestly, you'd been making great time; you were so close to finishing, maybe 20 stitches left total. Somewhere between the last stitch and a doctor getting slapped, you'd passed out on your living room floor.

You'd awoken to the feeling of your feline licking your cheek, causing you to immediately shoot up off the floor. Your eyes frantically searching for a clock, the power Must’ve gone out sometime around 5 in the morning because that's all you saw flashing back at you on the stove. In a frenzy, you started throwing random clothes on, praying they'd match, shoving the costume in a garment bag, and running out the door. Thats when you finally looked down at your phone, seeing the time read 10:03, “God damnit.” You whined under your breath. Your shop was only a couple blocks away, but that was still a 15-minute walk, so you sprinted. You probably looked like a complete lunatic, but you couldn't care less right now. The incredibly hot customer probably waiting outside your doors was the utmost important thing on your mind.

Dripping in sweat and hyperventilating as you turned the corner to where your shop was, you saw him just as you thought you would. Leaning up against the door, one arm crossed over his torso as he took a drag from his cigar with his other. God, he looked heavenly, and you... Well, maybe not your best day, but definitely not your worst. “Hey, sorry I'm late.” You breathed out, hands resting on your knees as you caught your breath. “But I've got your thingy.” You hold the garment bag up; he just furrows his eyebrows at you, cocking his head to the side. His silence makes you feel more embarrassed than you already do. You get up to unlock your doors, ushering him to follow you inside.

You check him out at the register; the only words being exchanged were the cost of the repairs and where he can tap his card. He walked out with a smile and a nod, a soft ‘Thanks’ escaping his lips before the door shut. You throw your head in your hands, feeling shame wash over you. You were hoping and praying he was going to leave his number on the receipt, but obviously he did not. I mean, why would you have had him waiting and showed up looking like a complete mess? Not very good looks. You simply had to chop it up as a loss and return back to the mundaneness of your life.

The very next morning, though, he was here again, this time holding an old brown jacket. He'd said there was a small hole in the pocket he wanted fixed. This time it only took you all 20 minutes. You asked him to wait upfront as you brought the jacket to the back to repair it. When you returned, you checked him out the same as before, and he left exactly the same as before. This became an everyday routine for the two of you. Every day he'd walk in with some worn-out article of clothing asking you to stitch it up; you always obliged, even if the clothes looked and smelled like they came from 1987. You always did wonder how this guy had so many ripped-up clothes just lying around, and why wouldn't he just bring them in all at once?

This charade had been going on for 2 weeks now when you finally decided to break from your usual script of ‘thank you, come again’. “Why is everything you own torn apart? Is everything okay back home?” You asked as he slipped his card into the machine. You could see the heat rising to his cheeks as he tried to hide a smirk creeping its way on his face. “You want me to be honest with you?” He looked up at you, pursing his lips together in a thin line. You nodded your head, waiting for him to continue, “I honestly thought you were gorgeous when I first walked into your shop.” Now your cheeks started burning red as your eyes went wide. “So every day since then I head into Goodwill and find anything I can with a hole in it so I can find an excuse to come see you.” This was the first time you'd ever seen this man avoid eye contact with you. You couldn't find your words as your throat had gone dry. He was into you??? And here you were this whole time thinking you ruined your shot (and that he was homeless, but you weren't going to tell him that). 

"Well, say something.” He exasperated, snapping you out of your daze. “I honestly don't know what to say; I’m shocked. I get off at 6 if y’know... You wanted to grab something to eat?” You offer awkwardly, smiling through the pain of how anxious you sounded. He looks up to you finally meeting your gaze, a soft smile painted on his lips. “Ill be here to pick you up at 6 doll.” He grabs your hand, planting a gentle kiss on your knuckle. He walked out the door, leaving you in utter shock and denial for the rest of your shift.

hi ps u can always request me shtuff to write! :3

[qtboni]

Hey there! ☺️ I've been loving your writing lately and wanted to make a request for a new piece. What about writing about Soldier!Reader and König falling asleep on each other on their way back to base after a mission? I think it would be a sweet moment of intimacy after all the dangers and stress they've been through together. No pressure though, just thought I'd throw it out there! :)

HI, LOVIE! thanks for this request,, this was undeniably the cutest thing I have ever written!! i used gtranslate for the german phrases cz idk any german huhu. anyw, i hope u wd love this, anon <//3

PAIRING: König X Gn!Reader

OVERVIEW: König letting you rest on his shoulder, and him also resting on top of your head <//3

C/W: Everything is fluff.

As you sat in the back of the military vehicle, you felt your shoulders droop as you fought to stay awake. Your mind was fogged from fatigue, and every minute felt like an eternity.

But as your eyes began to flutter closed, you made one last effort, shifting slightly in your seat to avoid dozing off.

You and your team had just completed a long and arduous mission, and you all were tired and eager to get back to base. You looked over at König who was seated next to you in the military vehicle. He looked just as exhausted as you felt, his face lined with the strain of the past few hours.

König, watching over you as he always did on missions, noticed the tell-tale signs of you about to fall asleep. Instead of calling you out, however, he silently watched with concern.

He knew how grueling the mission had been, and he did not want to see you hurt yourself by staying up any longer.

As you continued to struggle to keep your eyes open, your focus began to slip, your head slowly drooping. You didn't even realize it, but eventually your head came to rest on König's shoulder, your breathing growing more and more steady with each passing moment.

König noticed the change in your demeanor immediately, and he watched your face as it relaxed into a peaceful slumber. He knew your exhaustion well, and he saw it as a sign that you had finally reached your limit.

His rough, low voice was warm and comforting as he whispered words to you so softly that you almost didn't catch it, but you felt their meaning deep in your heart.

"Ich bin so stolz auf dich," he murmured, his voice low and steady, "Du bist so mutig und stark."

His whispers continued as you slept, caressing your right arm gently as he does so. "Ich liebe dich..." he murmured softly, sounding almost hesitant. "Du bist meine Welt, meine Liebe."

König knows that you would not be able to understand them, so he lets himself freely express his love and care for you in his mother tongue.

König then adjusted his seat to accommodate you and let you rest against him. Nevertheless, you still slept soundly in his right shoulder, the warmth of his body providing a sense of comfort and security that you desperately needed.

A few hours later, you awoke to the sound of König's snores. He had leaned his head on top of yours, and the sound of his breathing was rhythmic and soothing. Despite the uncomfortable position, you felt a sense of calm wash over you, and you drifted off once more.

As the hours passed, the warmth of his body seept into yours, and your consciousness began to fade. You were lost in a dreamless, restful sleep, feeling safe and protected by his presence.

Finally, the sun began to set, and the military vehicle came to a stop outside the base. You stirred from your slumber, feeling refreshed and ready to face whatever might come next. You opened your eyes to find König still sound asleep, his head resting on top of yours.

You sighed softly, trying not to disturb him. You carefully shifted your position and leaned over to whisper in his ear, "König... Wake up."

He stirred slightly, cracking open one eye to look at you. "Gott sei Dank..." His voice was low and hoarse from exhaustion, but there was a smile in his eyes. "I'll never complain about a nap again."

You giggled quietly, feeling a sudden surge of affection for him. "You'll never complain about anything again," you murmured, reaching up to prepare your stuff and fix your vest.

"Ja," König replied, his eyes gentle as ever as he looked at you. "Thanks for your shoulder, schatz. Sorry for if ever, um, it was uncomfortable."

"Oh?" You smiled softly at him.

"You know, given by your smaller than me, maus."

"Well," you chucked as you leaned over at him once more. "It was actually one of the best and comfortable sleep I have ever encountered in this.. kind of scenario."

König felt a warm sensation sweep over his cheeks as he blushed, clearing his throat nervously. "Is that so? Well, I'm glad."

"Actually, I should have been the one thank you. So, thanks. I really needed that nap." You patted his shoulder, where you previously had slept on.

König felt a nervous jolt run through his body as he realized his blush must have been noticed, even with the mask on, when your smile seems to expand more cheekily.

He doesn't trust his words, fear striking in him if he's going to let out stuttering phrases. So, he instead nodded at you, averting his gaze once again.

You knew that there were plenty of things he couldn't express with his mask on, but you could still tell that he appreciated your gesture. And you were glad to have been there for him, just as he had been there for you.