#and then I think I just decide I like eating them like that and it's fun and ends up becoming a habit even though originally it was
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Man, it's cool and all if you see a metaphor for marginalisation in the monstrous, and if you want the power fantasy of 'what if you could just eat anybody who threatened you/pissed you off'. Me too.
However, as soon as you start saying 'no, these monsters are a 1:1 on Specific Marginalised Group, and you have to treat them in the fiction like they are directly representative of real human members of the marginalised group', BUT you also, in the fiction, make them hurt/kill/eat humans? And then try to shame me, your audience, for noticing or engaging with the bit where they kill people, because you made them directly representative of a real-world marginalised group? You have lost me, and also, I think, the plot.
#hear yourself. for the love of whatever you cherish.#'but they only kill bigots so ACTUALLY they're the GOOD GUYS -' your metaphor of monstrosity is entirely premised on the question of#'what if what you went around righteously killing; believing your actions to be justified;#were actually people and it was not in fact righteous or justified to just kill them'#'what if the world isn't neatly split into 'good guys' and 'bad guys'#who gets to decide who or what is 'bad'? because that's the original problem of monstrosity-as-metaphor-for-marginalisation#(if as a creator you say 'oh my intention with this was X' cool!#if instead you go with something like. well.#'well in this setting monsters are so rare it doesn't matter that they kill people and you'd have to be a homicidal sadistic psychopath >#< to hunt them; but sure I guess if you want to play a Bad Person' well I might have#but if you're going to explicitly judge me for wanting to engage with the moral question of 'how justified is this and who would do it#versus how justified are these monsters if they do have to harm or kill people to continue to exist'#then maybe I just don't want to play your game at all)#anyway I'm sick to death of poor uwu cozy vampires who are SO marginalised so I'm not Allowed to care about all the people they murder#it being fucked up is what's fun about it! do all the other shit but let me take the murders seriously!#and inb4 someone accuses me of being a bigot for saying 'actually I don't think you get a free pass to kill and eat people if you're gay'#remember when the CW's famously reactionary and conservative Supernatural tried to just gloss over the part where every time its heroes >#< killed a demon with a magic knife it also killed the person the demon was possessing#and say 'oh no it's fine we don't care about those killings; they don't matter; don't bother caring about them either'#but they were doing it to glorify exactly the kind of people that these 'monster as metaphor' stories are trying to cast as expendable?#I have other examples that are like. real dramas. but That Paranormal Show is the one that's in the same niche that I'm talking about here#it feels more insidious when it comes through a fantasy show where there are monsters involved#so you can say 'no it's not real so it doesn't matter'#but then ALL of it is equally not real. and vampires are not actually an oppressed group. because they don't exist.#you can say 'these vampires are a metaphor for an oppressed group so this fiction matters in real life'#or you can say 'don't care about the murders because they weren't actually real'#but you can't say both and then get mad at ME for treating the murders as seriously as the vampires#let me engage with your premise and don't waste my fucking time#or just set your fluff in the Sesame Street universe where vampires drink cherry Kool-Aid and help kids learn to count
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M.I.L.F. (Make It Last Forever) â L.DH
Haechan, a favorite among classy wives to hire during the hot summer season for a nice, thorough pool cleaning, seems to have a favorite wife of his own. You. Or the one where Haechan was the pain-in-your-ass son of the family you used to babysit for, but now heâs making it his mission to be the pain-in-your-ass pretend husband that you never asked for, but very clearly need.Â
minors dniÂ
PAIRING â lee haechan x afab milf!reader Â
WORDCOUNTâ 18.9k
CONTENTâ Â age gap: reader is 31Â and haechan is 24, milf trope/single mother reader, college pool boy haechan (turned part time babysitter), reader has 1 kid and haechan really wants to give her another, reader has morals!! haechan just doesnât see it as a moral issue, he is actually very sweetÂ
!WARNINGS! â Â age gap, haechan is somewhat of a manipulator, heâs gentle but wonât take no for an answer. dub-con in one instance. major breeding kink and kind of a mommy and daddy kink (domesticity), angst regarding reader and her ex husband, reader has huge titsÂ
NOTE â this was written for jay from enhypen over on my other blog, but i am gifting it to you guys here as well! I WROTE THEM BOTH!!!! NOT PROOF READ.
nsfw tags under cut
nsfw tagsâ thick big dick haechan, small instant dubious consent, tit obsessed haechan, groping and grinding, mommy/daddy kink, breeding kink, unprotected sex, cum stuffing-ish,pussy eating, fingering, basically itâs haechan doing stuff to you, this ainât smut this is making love, also reader doesnât shave her coochie and haechan fucking loves it.
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Having a stray eye isnât typically something you afford yourself when it comes to men. Things tend to change with time though, that much you know is true.Â
It was proven to you for the first time when your ex husband decided to up and leave you three weeks before your due date for a womanâwell, girl, fresh out of highschool. Years of trust and promises crushed with just a single sentence and a slam of the door. Time mustâve changed you for him to leave so heartlessly. Time mustâve changed him to become so cold.Â
 It was proven again when you were able to heal despite never believing you could. Seconds of pain turned to minutes, to hours. Days. weeks. Months. Years of pain before being able to wake up and feel somewhat numb to it all. Like a flip switch in your head that told you that you can be happy now even if as a single mother. After all, the hard part was over.Â
It took some four to five years, but it did happen. Time did change you, it healed you, it matured you. As your child grew, so did you. And for the better, you think. You count your blessings of living a life far more lavish than you ever could have anticipated given the circumstances that had been thrown at you. Even to the point of nesting, wanting another child, wanting a big and happy family. But alas, your ex husband had better things to do.Â
At the end of the day, youâd never be able to call this home yours if you had stayed with your ex husband. He didnât like this kind of âflashyâ lifestyle, and to him, everything you wanted seemed too flashy for him. Perhaps he was right to some extent, as you recognize the brand name goods you now own, solely because you had promised yourself in the depths of your despair that youâll get to a point in life where you can buy yourself everything you not only need, but want. So, here you are, owning an expensive home, in a nice neighborhood, with a nice car and a nice pool.Â
Your daughter has everything she could want and need too, aside from a sibling, itâs certainly still more than what you had growing up and itâs all because of you. A fully decorated bedroom drenched in glitter, purples, creams, yellows, and pink, her favorite color. All sorts of play houses, costumes, dolls, a few lego sets, and even some plastic swords and knives for the days she wants to pretend to be her favorite movie characters. Clothes she can grow into, and a nice little fund building up for her as she grows up. Her first car, college, help for a downpayment on her own first house.Â
Both of you have everything you could ever want or need and for that, youâre so proud. Especially knowing your husband would have never believed you could make it this far without him. Still, despite having everything you could ever ask for, thereâs something in you that feels empty.
Time changes things.Â
Time changes a lot of things, you note more than usual, as the man youâve been ogling for the past three weeks makes himself far more known to you than you ever wished he would.
The interaction with him was always so quick before today and given the fact that he was a complete stranger, you never quite invited him into your home consideringâyou know, small child and all. You had hired him over text. Haechan, your neighbor said his name was. His handsome features didnât offer you anything more than a clean pool and a wandering eye.Â
Your neighbor apparently has a friend who has a cousin that has an even nicer pool than you do. Given, itâs only a nicer pool due to the fact that this young man, Haechan, tended to it weekly and made damn sure it could be drunk out of if a person had a craving for chlorine.Â
You feel like an idiot now that it didnât dawn on you quick enough. Sure, he looked a bit familiar to you but who doesnât when youâre always out and about seeing so many different faces on a daily basis? His name, Haechan, didnât ring any bells. Now though, the shame of staring at his sweaty pecs and biceps came crashing down the moment you realized who Haechan actually is.Â
He didnât do a damn thing to remind you either, if anything, all he did was walk around all sweaty in the afternoon heat with his tank top either sticking to him, or off entirely. It appears that you had just been too busy running errands with your child, considering his shifts were always when you were home. Too busy cooking, cleaning, reading, lounging. Too busy looking atâŠwell, not his face.Â
Too busy to give the man a glance more than that of a slice of pie behind a bakery window.Â
Haechan.Â
Since fucking when was that his name?
âLee Donghyuck.â You whimper near mortified, three weeks too late as you hand him his pay with nervous hands. âSpray-cheese in my hair Donghyuck?âÂ
âAh, was wondering when youâd pick up on that.â He smiles at you with that crooked grin, a knowing look that any man at a bar would give you if he had caught you checking him out. Then, he pockets the hefty amount of cash that you hand to him. âI go by Haechan more often these days.â He trails off, an amused smirk half-falling as he looks at your expression of realization. âYou can call me whatever you want though.â
Heâs well aware of how often youâve checked him out since he started intentionally taking his clothes off. After all, itâs mid-july by this point and the sun baring down on him doesnât quite call for a fucking turtle neck sweater. Or a T-shirt, or a tank top, for that matter. It calls for all skin baby, beautifully tanned and toned for you and any of your neighbors to look at if they so wanted to.Â
Haechan doesnât work out for nothing, after all. Summer after summer, heâs found himself to be quite fond of the rich women that hire him for their pool services. Always wanting an attractive young man to wander around half naked and satiate their lack of sex life with their husbands, or boytoys, or what have you. He knows all that extra pay isnât because he does a good job either. Heâs gotten winks, small comments, even a few offers of his body for more pay.
Heâs turned them all down, of course. For a full-on affair, anyway. Haechan has gotten a few blow jobs and quickies as a tip before though, and a lot of that is why he keeps getting referred to more women. Richer women. Never single women.Â
Until you.Â
He quite enjoyed catching you looking at him. Especially given the fact that he knew exactly who you were when you introduced yourself to him via text. That little childhood crush on you came back within an instant upon actually seeing you again. Truly, he had forgotten all about you up until that fateful day three weeks ago.Â
If heâs being honest, heâs been pining something fierce since he first stepped foot on your property. Excitement swelled inside of him just to see you again. To see if youâre still hot, to see how youâre doing, what youâre doing. How your life is going.
 He knew you didnât recognize his nickname through text, and he definitely knew you didnât recognize him to be eating him up with those eyes of yours either. So, he played along, enjoying it while he could before it would inevitably dawn on you. Still, he remembers you so well from back then. Crazy to know that he rarely thought of you for the past twelve years or so, and how all those little butterflies of his came back in a far more mature way. He was only twelve back then, but heâs a man now.Â
Twenty four and perfectly sound as a man who knows what he likes. The fact that you happen to fall into that category is no fault of his own, honestly. Itâs your fault if anyoneâs at all. Haechan is a man that likes a specific type of woman too. Woman. Not a girl, not a young lady, not a free spirit, nor a prude. He is drawn to the idea of experience, to the idea of settling down. Itâs not easy to find that at his age, in college, surrounded by party girls and casual drug use.Â
And, well, imagine his smile upon seeing your lovely, lavish home with the large pool, no ring on your finger, a whole fucking child, and your motherly instincts when you buckle her into the car for an errand. Oh and the broken fence in the far back of your yard.
Youâre a single mom.Â
A hot single mom who lives lavishly. One who could probably use a manâs help around your house.
He half expected you to be able to recognize him when he appeared for work the first time. He even had a monologue in his head on what to say to you, and how to present himself. You didnât seem to take notice though, introducing yourself to him as if you hadnât spent all that time in his childhood home when you were a teenager. Like you never mothered him, or put him to sleep with the soft stories when you let him watch all those scary movies before bed. Even at twelve, he was a scaredy cat.
 Clearly youâre too busy experiencing life to notice the way he fawns over you too. Hating how youâre more reserved than the other lavish, fixed-up women. You seem to have standards, or maybe itâs just priorities ... that's so hot. Truly, it only makes him want you more because by now, the other women would already be rubbing all over him. The ones who shouldnât be wanting him the way they do. So, yes, heâs always stealing glances at you with sparkling dark eyes, fantasizing in his head that this pool is his to clean now, because thatâs what a good man would do for you, right? With him around servicing your pool and lawn, youâd never need to hire or spend money on another broke ass college student again.
Yes. Thatâs how quickly he fell into this infatuation solely because you looked at him like you want it without realizing who he was. Hell, without realizing how perfect you are in terms of what he wants.
God, how are you still single?Â
Like, why do you have a child and a house so beautiful without a man wandering around doing all of this work for you? Not that you couldnât do it on your own, itâs just, you clearly have the means to make a man do as you please. Why havenât you?
You happen to fall almost perfectly into the categories of what heâs looking for. Save for the fact that now you recognize him as that kid you used to babysit rather than the man who tries to be sexy while cleaning your pool. Which is a fucking shame, if heâs being honest, to be written off as that same ten year old child rather than a fucking man who very clearly has needs and desires.Â
The point isâ Haechan wants you and he parades around your pool for you to look at him. So what if you used to babysit him? Itâs not like youâre an old swamp-hag trying to lure him with candy. Youâre justâŠa woman. And heâs just a man.Â
âWell, thank you for cleaning again,â You trail off in an awkward tone, shifting your eyes to anywhere but him. He watches you though, smiling a smile you know all too well from his childhood antics. It must mean something different now, or maybe not. âI guess Iâll see you next week?âÂ
âWell, actually,â Haechan offers, âWould you be opposed toââ You cut him off instantly with an awkward wave of your hand.
You donât know why you make assumptions, maybe from that damned smile on his face, but you do recall your ex husband reminding you time and time again that itâs one of the things he hated about you.Â
Assumptions. Always thinking the worst, or perhaps the most filthy of situations and expressions. To be fair, you feel guilty about how youâve been looking at him, you canât help but panic trying to pretend like it never happened, and that he never saw it happen.
âIâm not interested, Donghyuck.â You respond hastily, pressing your thumb to your bottom lip to bite the skin on it, keeping your eyes away from him with the awkward words. After all, he knew who you were this whole time and paraded around like that?Â
Even before recognizing him yourself, you know men well enough to know when theyâre trying to flaunt. Is it so wrong to assume?
âInterested in what?â Haechan tilts his head knowingly, seeing the way you buckle under the guilt of staring at the very man you used to tuck into bed every night. He can see the way you try to push those sexual thoughts you had away in the quick rejection to a simple assumption.Â
 âI was just going to ask if you want me to fix your fence.âÂ
Ah, you did get ahead of yourself through the guilt, and youâre far too aware of it as you draw your eyes back to him and note the expression on his face. Amused, maybe a bit of concern in his eyes, even?Â
âAh, umââ You start, trailing your eyes down your fence line never once noticing a break in it. Haechan is quick to point though, leaning to you with a whisper of âright there.â And well, you did not need to hear that tone in his voice the way you just did.
God, itâs so awkward.
âWell, how much would that cost me?â You question with an empty voice, staring at the broken fence.Â
âFree.â He uses the same tone, leaning away from you now and smiling wide. âThat is, if you provide lunch.âÂ
Well, despite the awkwardness, that break over there would cost you a pretty penny to fix, and your daughter needs the safety of playing in her own yard without random animals or worse, people, making their way in. Plus, youâre quite fond of saving money. How else would you be here if you werenât good at it? And now, given that youâre most definitely not interested in Haechan, what's the harm in making a few sandwiches for someone you already know well enough? Itâs not like youâve never made him lunch before.
The awkwardness will pass and your guilt will subside. You both will laugh at it over a cold glass of iced lemonade, surely. Itâs not like you realized who he was anyway, itâs not like youâre just gonna keep looking at him like that. You should just push forward and itâll all be fine.Â
âHell, Iâd even watch the kiddo so you can have a break every now and then.â He watches your reaction, wanting to ask so many questions about why youâre single, who the father is, where he is, why he isnât here. âAfter all, I learned quite a bit from you.âÂ
For a second you consider that too.
And thereâs three reasons as to why you should. The first being that you were literally just looking for a new child care facility due to learning of the staff coming to work while sick. Your poor daughter came home with a fever just last week, and youâve had little luck in finding a place with the same educational benefits for her.Â
The second being that, well, while youâre not hurting for cash or anything, it wouldnât hurt to be able to put a little more back for her college fund. Or for fun little vacations.Â
And lastly, despite your guilt of lusting over someone you shouldnât have, you know Donghyuck and you know his family even better. No background check would be needed, your daughter could be in the comfort of her own home rather than a classroom setting that sheâs sure to see for at least twenty years of her life in the future.Â
So, yes. You consider it instantly, and Haechan sees it.Â
You only know of the childhood version of him and, well, the slutty pool-side version of him apparently. If only you knew of that other side of him and how fond he is of watching his own younger cousins. How good he is with children, and how much he clings to the idea of being a father one day.
Haechan is great with kids, with or without them having a hot mom.
And well, he knows that heâs fond of looking at you at least. Besides, as long as you can work with his class schedules, heâd be willing to do just about anything to play pretend-husband, even if youâre unaware of it.Â
âIs that so?â You finally ask, curious eyes looking at him with a furrowed brow. âShouldnât you be out living the life? College parties and such?â You add, wondering why such a great deal has managed to flop down on your lap. The idea of even cheaper childcare without the risk of unvaccinated children, and sick caretakers being far too good of a deal to pass up.Â
âWell, yeah I guess.â He shrugs, leaning backwards to stretch and roll his shoulders. âNot really my scene though. I have classes Monday and Wednesday all day, Tuesday and Thursdays my classes are online. If you can work around that, Iâd rather just be making money and chilling.âÂ
You think about it just for a second more when he continues.Â
âI can be here on weekends too. Maybe you should be the one out relaxing and having some drinks.âÂ
âWell, I donât quite need that, or for you to be here on weekends.â You think as you say it, knowing you have given up on going out to try and meet men two years ago. âI could pay you though, letâs say, thirty an hour?âÂ
Well, shit, thatâs not too bad at all, especially considering heâs about to give up on cleaning the pools of a few women in his contacts for this. Itâs a major pay cut, but still enough to get by comfortably if youâll have him multiple times a week. That plus the pool cleaning money? And free lunch?Â
âOh, you donât go out at all? I donât see why not, could probably get a man in no timeââ Haechan ignores the wage offer and pushes to note the singlehood he had been noticing for the past three weeks. âand the pay is fine.âÂ
âAh, well, the dating pool isnât so great in this neck of the woods.â You scratch the back of your neck when you say it. âThat aside, I'll have her in day care on the days you canât be here, but it really would be a big help. Thank you for the offer, Donghyuck. And for the fence too.âÂ
He watches you with a firm nod, shoving his hands into the pockets of his basketball shorts, still entirely shirtless in front of you.Â
âAnd the pool.â You add quietly after a moment.Â
âI think youâd be surprised about the dating pool.â He smiles as he pushes the subject back to what you had previously said, hoping you believe those words before continuing. âSo, when do you want me to start?âÂ
âIs tomorrow too soon? Youâre okay to set up here with your online classes?â
âTomorrow is perfect.â He smiles.
âIâm sure she would be so happy knowing she wonât be going to daycareââ You clap, feeling a bit less awkward despite the boldness of the man in front of you. Youâre sure heâs just teasing you for knowing you checked him out. âI know I am.âÂ
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Itâs a little too perfect, actually.
After that first day of watching your child and making a lazy attempt at âfixing your fence,â heâs settled in like itâs home. He wishes it was, with the lavish lifestyle in a house far too pretty compared to his own living space with piles upon piles of laundry heâs too lazy to pick up for himself.Â
Itâs different for you though. Different when heâs here.
Truly, he feels like heâs living the life after a couple of weeks with decent pay and a comfy space to do his homework. He watches your child, which is arguably the hardest part of the job but sheâs well behaved for him. In fact, she seems to have taken a shine to him.
Heâs starting to be very intentional with taking far too long to work on your fence too, and still maintaining your pool. Heâs trying to drag this out for as long as he can. Even if just to see if you still look at him when you come home the same way you did before recognizing him. You never do though. When his shirt is off and heâs wiping his forehead in the sun, you donât look at him anymore.
Hell, heâs even considered breaking things in your home just to give himself more jobs to do. More things that make him feel needed, like a husband. More things that you thank him for fixing, even if it breaks again two days later.
And ah, the food in your fridge is always free reign to him, that large television in the living room too. God, sometimes he dreads going home, and by sometimes, he means all the time. Who in their right mind would ever fucking want to live outside of this lifestyle? He really canât believe youâre single, nor can he believe that he has the opportunity to be in your home, close to you. It shouldnât take too long now to convince you, right? That you donât necessarily have to be single? That you need him around to live even more comfortably?
In short, Haechan is in his head about how heâs practically just roleplaying as your stay-at-home husband before having to go back to his shitty little apartment and remind himself that heâs just a fucking college student with no interest in the people on campus. And like, even with the way you come home from work, all groggy and exhausted on the days heâs there, you always thank him before giving him his pay. What he likes best about those nights is when youâre too exhausted to even pay him and you promise to do it next time.
In his mind, thatâs you promising to see him again.Â
He could give less of a shit about the pay at this point, as long as he gets to be in this house, smelling your favorite candles and dish detergents, seeing you, being a semi-father to a child who deserves more love than the two of you combined can giveâŠheâll fucking do anything you want for free.Â
Itâs difficult sometimes, like he really canât help it. Some days wandering around this house and imagining how the two of you could have landed on buying it together. How the rooms would be organized if he were here from the start. Claiming his spot on your couch like any dad would. Playing dolls with your daughter, laughing with her, letting her paint his nails and put his hair in little pigtails. He even cleans your pool as if it were his own, meaning, he genuinely cleans it.Â
He has taken it upon himself to mow your lawn, confusing the yard workers that you apparently hired years ago. Did he accidentally fire them? Maybe, but any good husband would save you money, right? He checks your mail, waves to your neighbors and lets them make assumptions.Â
And every single fucking night itâs harder and harder to go back home.
Especially after a full day of playing dad then seeing you come back so tired. Turning off that switch in his head isnât easy. He wants to greet you like the husband you donât have. He wants to ease your hard days in so many ways. Tell you heâs proud of you, that you still look so pretty after an exhausting shift of whatever the fuck you do. He wants to serve you dinner, run you a bath, fix your hair, lay you downâ oh, heâs fantasizing again. Unfortunately, he has to settle with seeing the relief on your face when he lets you know in a soft voice that heâs cooked dinner and he will heat it up for you before leaving, kiddo is in her room sleeping, no dishes in the sink, and laundry is folded and put away.Â
He loves the appreciation in your eyes, and sometimes even sees a glint of sadness. He can tell you wish you had this from a person who isnât here for pay. Someone who loves you, and loves your child, and feels joy in making your life easier.Â
Fuck, if only you knew.Â
And youâd be lying if you tried to say Haechan isnât a godsend to you on the days he babysits. Many times you find yourself wishing heâd just move in and do everything that you canât do. Youâd pay him well, give him a guest room, whatever. But itâs justâŠnot viable to support a full time employee like that, nor is it fair to your daughter.Â
She needs a parent, not a paid college student who needs some extra cash. You have to be that parent, you have to make time for her and witness all of her joys in life. You have to protect her and never bring in faces of men who claim to want to be a father, only to run and break her heart more than your own.Â
For now, you settle with this godsend of a little shit you used to babysit. Still you can barely believe thatâs the same person, but againâŠtime changes things. And thankfully, the awkwardness of what you did has died down drastically.
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Today, youâre more thankful for Haechan than you have been previously. After a heavy workload has been lifted off your back with the approval of this project, you need a night out. For the first time in years, youâre giving yourself a night out, all because you have someone you can trust to be here for your daughter.
He was so understanding when you called, happy to come over right then and there to put her to bed and mostly just house-sit for the night. Even without an end time for him, and even without asking for extra pay, he justâŠaccepted with an understanding tone and that stupid breathy chuckle he gives to you when you ask for favors. âWhat? You need me there right now? Iâm putting on my shoes.â He had said.
Itâs the fact that now, as he sits on your couch looking at you in your chosen outfitâ he seems a little off. Maybe itâs because you asked him where the best spots in town are because itâs been so long since youâve gone out, or maybe he just feels awkward seeing so much skin on your body.Â
To be fair, he didnât realize you were going out out. He thought that maybe you were gonna go stay with a friend to celebrate and have a drink or two.Â
In reality though, heâs just awestruck. Already you look great even after your busy days at work butâŠthis is a different level. The way your tits look in that push-up bra and tiny ass top, when heâs used to seeing you head out in some sort of business casual outfit without an ounce of skin showing save for your ankles or wristsâŠjesus. Heâs struggling more than usual to keep himself calm around you, hopping up on one leg when you walk away to try and adjust the chub in his pants, and releasing a small sigh before youâre looking at him again.
His skin feels like itâs on fire knowing youâre going out looking like that.
âYou sure you're okay to sleep over? I figure itâll be easier since Iâm not sure when Iâll come home, or if I come home.â You smile with a wink, your stomach in knots over the two shots youâve taken for the first time in years. âI can call my friends and tell them not to come if youâd rather focus on your studies.âÂ
Haechan shakes his head, waving his hands in defense for you as if he didnât just see the way your tits bounce and squish against your shirt with each move you make.Â
âNo, no! Go on, have fun.â He says, encouraging you to go out despite hoping you come home with no luck of finding a man out there.Â
Just, look at you. Fuck, heâs staring again. He hates knowing that he could be one of the guys at whatever bar or club youâre landing on tonight. He could be the person that makes sure you donât come home, getting to plant his face right there. He could be whatever you want him to be if youâre looking like that.Â
But no, he has to play husband again, which is normally something heâs all too excited to do. Tonight though, he feels like a fucking cuckold. After everything he does for you, after not mentioning how youâve skipped a few of his payments, after slaving away for hours over your pool, your household chores, fixing and breaking that fucking dishwasher, cooking you dinner every single night heâs here just to make sure you have a meal when you get off of workâŠyou imply you may not come home tonight?
And youâre dressed like that?
And youâreâŠ
God, you just look so good right now. It pains him to know you didnât dress like this for him, the only man who cares enough to make your life easy. Heâs not mad at you, per se, but heâs pissed that you donât see him as an option despite showing you time and time again that not only is he an option, but the right choice.Â
This is what you look like when you want to impress a man? This is how you act? How you talk? Fuck, god, fuckâ maybe heâs just too deep in his one-sided roleplay but it really, really fucking feels like heâs watching his woman go off and look for someone else to fuck.
âThank you, Donghyuck,â You smile, walking over to him with a saunter in your step and a gentle smile across your lips.Â
Heâs never heard you speak his name so sensually, the way his cock twitches forces him to wince away from you. Heâs never even seen you saunter before. Fucking hell, somehow it feels worse seeing you act like this after how many times heâs imagined it, all alone in his room.Â
A slow walk from you, with the strap of your shirt slipping off your shoulder, fat tits threatening to spill out, lifting the hem of your skirt, or dress, or whatever youâre wearing in his fantasy at that point. Your voice, so soft, so sexy. And youâre practically bringing his fantasy to life right now, except he knows youâre going to fucking walk away from him like this. Into the fucking arms of some random dude at a club.Â
Probably some loser heâs seen on campus too.
âIt means a lot.â You add, popping a quick, platonic kiss to the top of his forehead.Â
Ah, lip gloss. That little kiss on him is enough to ignite him to the point of no return. He almost wants to skip the part of asking you not to go and straight up just beg that you pick him, that you choose him. Itâs not just your home, or the luxuries that come with it. Itâs you that he wants. Youâre the fucking luxury and youâre just gonna go to some sticky-floored club and pretend heâs not clearly checking you the fuck out right now? Like heâs not about three seconds from dropping to his knees just to see you from the angle you deserve?!Â
âItâs no problem.â Haechan relents, dropping himself onto your couch instead and adjusting his body to sink deep into the cushions just to keep himself from arguing against everything heâs giving you permission to do right now.Â
Hah. Permission.
âBe safe.â He adds in an even more monotone voice. âIâll be here when you get back.âÂ
And god, he seethes in his thoughts after you close that door and hop into the car with your friends. You donât look like a mother tonight, and he wonders if youâll be upfront and forward with anyone you intend to hit on too. Probably not. Heâs well aware of the men in this city, after all, heâs one of them.
Itâs really not something he can control after seeing you like that either. Your child is already in bed and heâs just sitting here on your couch with a throbbing, fucking weeping cock thinking about you. Whatâs stopping him from taking care of it? Youâre not here, after all.Â
Youâre not fucking here. But everything about you is.Â
And thatâs how he finds himself in your bedroom for the first time, barely making it a foot into the room before closing the door and dropping to the floor. The scent in your room is different. Itâs feminine, gentle, like the energy is kissing him all over and sending goosebumps straight to the head of his cock. He couldnât even pull it out, already holding his breath with his hand down his pants, vigorously trying to get what he wants so badly yet knowing that his hand will never compare to you.Â
And itâs here where he feels like a husband. Spilling against his pants with a silent, choked back sob as he stares forward at your bed, and the way you didnât make it this morning. Itâs messy, and he wants to be in that mess of sheets with you more than anything.Â
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Haechan hates that heâs now forced to get used to your late night ventures. Every weekend now. Every. Fucking. Weekend. Â You ask if heâs willing to stay over so you can go unwind, and despite his better (or worse) judgment, he accepts. The only solace he finds in these ventures is knowing you consistently come back home right after usual closing times, and youâre mostly sober. Sometimes a bit whiny that youâre not lucking out, worrying that maybe youâre too old now, or maybe youâre just not as desirable. There have even been a few times where youâve exposed your ex husband during your rants, giving Haechan little hints to follow as to why youâre single, and how he left you.Â
Still, he knows in your tipsy state that you usually wouldnât talk about these things with him, but heâs all too happy to get the details once you come home. Mostly because it calms his rising rage at how youâre doing this to not only him, but yourself. Itâs mostly because youâre technically coming home to him though.Â
And every single time, you go back to your bedroom to grab his payment even though it could wait until morning, considering heâs been sleeping in the guest roomâ all he can think about is how heâs been in your room. Heâs gotten off countless times by now by the smell of your room alone, still barely able to even reach your bed to lay in it himself for a better experience. God, heâs probably memorized each little fray in your carpeted bedroom floor by now with how much heâs zoned out on it mid-jerk off session right there on his knees at your door.Â
Heâs truly pathetic for you.Â
This time thoughâŠthree in the morning has passed and normally youâd have been stumbling through the door an hour ago. Normally, heâd be fighting back the need to tell you that youâre beautiful, not too old, and entirely desirable. Normally, he would be fisting his cock again in your guest room before sleep, getting off on the idea that he can cum in a house that you live in, smothered by the sheets you meticulously picked out to match the walls of the room. Moaning for you, practically crying for you to let him do it all.Â
Have you really done it this time? Gone off with some man? Are you getting railed right now in some hotel, or car, or someoneâs shitty man-cave? God, his mind is racing, both aroused at the fact that you must be horny to be constantly wanting to go out like this, but equally as devastated because likeâŠheâs right here.
Who the fuck cares if you babysat him? Heâs a man. No longer that child who sprayed cheese in your hair or dumped salt into the bag of sugar. Heâs a fucking man, cooking you dinner when you work, parenting your child, cleaning your house, maintaining your pool and fenceâŠ.He does everything for you, why the fuck donât you see it?!
Click.
Haechanâs ears perk up instantly at the sound. He sits up on the couch from his depressed slump of scrolling through his phone, quickly fixing his hair and clearing his throat.Â
In you stumble, right into the little entryway table with a whisper-scream of âShit, fuckââ
Haechan looks at your state before standing to his feet and rushing to you, helping you balance on your feet despite your footing not quite being grounded even with his help. You lean on him closely, letting out an alcohol scented sigh.Â
His nostrils flare as he holds his breath, feeling your tit press against his arm, smelling the drinks, the sweat, and the dulled perfume on you. Then, a hint of something else. Musk.Â
Youâve been with a man.Â
He holds back a gesture at the way you lean on him. Nothing more he could want at this moment but to hold you tightly and tell you that heâs got you, despite the panic in his stomach at the way he sniffs out another man. Out of lust, love, desperation, frustration. This is the closest youâve been to him for this long. You feel clammy and cold, a clear indication that you drank far, far too much. Your tank top is sticking to you, your eyes are a bit glassyâ
âYouâre late.â He says shortly.
âLate?!â You raise your voice before looking at him with drowsy eyes, furrowing your brow. âI donât have a curfe-â
âShhââ He shushes you, helping you get to the living room. âSheâs sleeping and youâre going to have her make a fuss about waking up.â
You giggle to yourself as he drops you onto the couch, now aware that yes, you are not a single college student anymore. Youâre a single woman. A fucking mother.Â
You shouldâve just gotten a hotel for the night and slept there to dream a little longer.Â
âRight.â You laugh, slouching, spreading out wide against the couch and trying to fix your gaze on him. âWhyâre you still awake?âÂ
Haechan fixes his eyes on you, swallowing around a lump in his throat. The way youâre slouchingâŠseemingly forgetting that youâre wearing a skirt and basically flashing your panties at him. God, the things could do to you right now. The things he could get away with if he wanted to. He tries to shake those thoughts for now, and instead, inspects you from head to toe.
Heâs never seen you look so relaxed. Chest raising and falling with each breath, hair a little messy, lipstick stains smeared on the outsides of your lip line. He chooses to ignore the faint swell against your neck indicating someone has been sucking on you. But, well, he canât ignore it. Both his cock and heart aches at the very thought.
âYouâve been kissing?â Haechan tries to ask nonchalantly.Â
âA lot more than thatââ You smile, feeling a flush cross your cheeks before the disappointment hits you square in the gut.Â
Haechan watches your face fall, and he mimics it by falling onto the couch and sitting by your headâŠyou know, allowing you to lay your head on him if you want to. Youâd probably not notice his arousal anyway, given your state.Â
âOh?â He asks gently, the disappointment now showing plainly on not just your face, but his own.
âThought I was gonna go home with him, turns out he decided to be done after a blowjob in the parking lot.â
Oh, the way his blood boils. Not for the fact that you were used or rejected, but for the fact that you found someone that you were interested in and genuinely intended to leave your home life in his hands for however fucking long. Really? Just gonna leave him here all alone? Like he couldnât do better for you?
âItâs for the betterââ Haechan says as he shivers with irritation, struggling to keep his facade up. Itâs definitely not what you wanted to hear, and definitely not what youâd have expected to hear from a college guy at all either.
âThis happened last time too, except he didnât even get me to the parking lot.â You huff, unaware of how much youâre sharing right now.Â
He bites back the anger yet again, inhaling deeply before releasing a calming breath through his nose just to contain it. SoâŠit has happened more than once?Â
âWhy donât you let me take you out someday?â He says suddenly, well aware that youâll probably never remember he said it in the first place.Â
If anything, heâs testing the waters for his own sake. Heâd hate himself forever if he didnât at least take advantage of this moment a little bit.Â
âThen who will watch my daughter?â You respond in slurred speech, not even comprehending who it is thatâs asking you this question right now. Not even thinking about your history with him, or the family ties.Â
He, on the other hand, is quite entertained by the way you donât bring the history up like he expected. His cock twitches at it, bumping your head just a bit, not enough for you to notice apparently. Fuck, it would be so easy for him to pull it out right now, and justâŠtap your lips with it.Â
Maybe youâd even open your mouth for him.Â
âIâll skip class on a Wednesday, we can go while sheâs still in daycare.â He continues through an almost-moan, encouraging the conversation to stay positive.
âDonghyuckââ You slur before clearing your throat and sitting back up in a dizzy show of how drunk you are. âYou know I canât do that. Itâs too weird.âÂ
In all fairness, you know he has likeâŠa thing for you. After all, why else would a college dude be spending his weekends here babysitting your kid? Itâs not like you havenât noticed the way he checks you out before you go out for the night. Why would he do all of this if he didnât have some sort of attraction to you? Sure, youâre taking advantage of it as best as you can despite how you didnât recognize him at first.Â
Despite how deep down, you very well know how attracted to him you are too.Â
âOnly because you make it weird.â Haechan rolls his eyes as he looks at you, spreading his legs out to adjust his comfort, noting the way you glance down to his lap and see it. âIâm a grown manââ He starts, spreading his legs wider, pressing his cock against his pants to the point you can practically see the outline.âyou know this.â He continues, trying to be bold now by reaching forward and moving a strand of your hair from your cheek.Â
âYouâve seen it.â
You freeze, suddenly feeling entirely too sober to be talking about this kind of thing with him. With Donghyuck. God, his mother would fucking kill you if she found out heâs in your house while youâre out trying to get fucked by whoever is willing to love you temporarily.Â
Haechan sees you thinking though, and continues to take the advantage now that heâs feeling brave. Now that youâve seen the twitch in his pants and havenât moved off the couch, or told him to go home.Â
âI saw you watching me when I was cleaning your pool, multiple times.â He whispers snidely. âYou stopped when you realized who I am. Why?â
âDonghyuââŠâ You trail off. âYou know this isnât okay. What would people think of me? There are rules, and I will not go down this route with you.â
A rush of air hits your face and suddenly, warmth hits your cheek. You feel him so close, closer than ever before. Itâs dizzying. Haechan is over you, hovering with one hand ghosting over your hip.Â
âYou want to though, donât you?â He gets even closer now, darting his eyes down at your chest and unable to pull them away. âKnowing how good I am with your daughter? How well I clean up? How strong I can beââ
You swallow hard. For a moment, you almost lean into him. You almost melt right then and there, the need for intimacy so heavy inside of you after being left high and dry, knowing that youâd accept it from just about anyone at this point. Butâ this is Donghyuck. You canât.Â
You really, really, canât.Â
The look of disappointment in his eyes kind of hurts when youâre pushing him away. That playful smirk falling faster than you think your sanity did the day your ex husband left you.Â
âThisââ You pause, realizing all too well how heâs used your drunken state against you for this conversation. âThis is your last paycheck.â
âI donât think so.â The smirk is back now, exceptâŠitâs different. âYou know I promised her a Barbie dream house next weekend.â He smiles fully now. âSheâs a bit attached, you know, even called me dad by accident the other day.âÂ
Youâre shocked.Â
âSheâŠwhat?â
âYou know sheâs attached to me already, donât be selfish.â Haechan shrugs at you while rolling his eyes, leaning against the couch again and turning his head to look at you. You try to pretend that you donât see his hand slightly groping himself. âGuess she misses having a father around. Canât be too easy for her, especially with her mom going out every weekend trying to fuck guys who would run the second they learn about her.â He ticks his tongue now, as if heâs pitying you more than your daughter.Â
âDonghyuck, thatâs notââ
âThatâs not, what?â
âThatâs not what Iâm doingâŠâ You lower your voice to a near whisper, upset that you couldnât even enjoy the drunken state you came home in, now feeling entirely too sober, and a little sick in the stomach.Â
âOh, so you havenât gotten laid since Iâve been hereââ He leans closer again now, trying to resume what he was going to do just moments ago. âThey havenât even touched you, have they?â His hands move to your thigh and presses down as if to hold you in place. âWhy?â
âI try not to just sleep with anyone.â You lie, knowing youâd sleep with anyone just to feel wanted for once. And youâre trying to ignore his hands on you right now, trying desperately not to like it. Itâs the first time a man has touched you in this house since your husband left you. As expected, you almost feel your knees buckle despite sitting comfortably. âI have to be careful, you know?â
âMm, I know more than you think.â He leans into you, hovering yet again with his upper half over you as he whispers it. âDonât need to be careful around me though.â He adds, this time trailing his voice right against your jaw, up to your ear. âYou must be so frustrated.â He ghosts his lips there for a moment, waiting for you to push him away, or say something, anything, really.Â
âWhy would I be frustrated?â You lend the smallest of whispers, feeling the goosebumps against your skin rising at the mere thought of giving in just this once.
âNot having anyone to please you.â He adds now, landing a very slight kiss right under your lobe. âAlways being used for someone elseâs pleasure, maybe?â
You almost nod, feeling weak in your state and thoughts swimming with what ifâs, morals, and anxieties. Youâre frozen in place despite knowing a simple push would create the distance you need to breathe.Â
âYour fingers will never be enough, will they?â He continues, essentially chaining you to this couch with his words alone. You canât help the fight in your head, you need to feel wanted, and you want so badly to feel needed. âI bet you wish someone would love you for all that you are, not all that you have.âÂ
Itâs silent as you feel his lips press down again, this time moving his body over you almost entirely. You can feel the couch dip a bit as he places all of his weight on a knee, moving his other leg to stand between yours.
âYou must need someone to fill that hole in you by now, right? That pussy of yours?â He continues, his tone a bit more snide now as you give in to his hold with shaky breaths.Â
And truthfully, Haechan has never let himself come on this strong towards someone before. Usually the wives are doing this to him. Theyâre trying to convince him, encourage him. Heâs so fucking horny right now though, with that daze in your eye, your legs spread around his knee, blinking up at him like a cheating wife. As if you want to apologize, as if you need him to forgive you. Need him to make everything better.
âI heard you the other day, you know, talking to your momââ He smiles, tilting his head to look into your eyes, seeing a small shine in them. âYou want another, donât you?â He continues, moving his lips now just over yours as he, now, presses you firmly against the couch. âYou must hate knowing that Iâm the only person who can do that for you.âÂ
âGod, Haechan.â You immediately buckle, not realizing how suddenly heâs not Donghyuck at this moment. Heâs someone else. Heâs Haechan.
âWhy donât you go for girls on campus?! Donât you have parties to be attending on the weekends instead of being here, trying to parent my chilââ
âLower that voice of yours,â He whispers, eyes now hooded as he looks at you. âYou know sheâs asleep.â
God, heâs right.Â
âBesides, why would I want them when I have you right here under meââ He tilts his head. âLooking so disappointed that you like it, too.âÂ
Right then, your moral code shines into the front of your mind at the consideration of giving in.
A weight on one shoulder chanting, âNo! What would people say?! What would people think?!â, and then little to no weight on the other shoulder, echoing in a sweet song of âFinally! Someone who will love you! Finally! Someone! Finally!!! Finally!âÂ
You pause, not knowing at all what to do. Your body wants to push him away, even your mind and soul wants you to push him away. But you know deep down, youâd only push him away to see if he will try again. No man has ever tried for you like this, and you need more of it.Â
To feel desired after so long of neglecting this side of yourself, itâs enough to make a person lose their footing in reality. To give in to just about anyone willing to look at you the way he is right now. Itâs the fact that you go out to try and find it, and even with this alone, Haechan has satisfied you more than any stranger promising to make you cum.
âIâŠdonât know what to sayââ You stutter. âI donât know what to do.â
âI do.â Haechan smiles, glancing at your lips before meeting your eye again. âWhy not hand over the reins and relax for aââ His hand dips under your skirt, cupping your sensitive cunt in one hand alone. âAh, I knew it.â Then, his other hand finds purchase on your chest, lifting your heavy breast in his hand with a blatant, hard squeeze.
After a sharp inhale you look away from him in shame, afraid to admit it despite the truth of it leaking through your panties and onto his palm.
âWet.â He smiles, no longer looking at you but flicking his eyes back and forth from between your legs, and to your chest. Still, he fumbles around the wet spot, wanting so badly to lift these fingers to his mouth and taste. Heâs fantasized about it, about how youâd taste, how warm it would be, what your pussy would feel like against his fingersâ
And just as heâs pushing your panties to the side, pads of his fingers touching right where you need them with his eyes hooded and watching you closely, something snaps.
You push his hand away, only to feel him push back, holding you down with more force, gripping your tit tighter, sliding his fingers in before massaging the slit with a blatant moan on his lips. Then, you try again, shoving him back only to hear him chuckle and continue his antics untilâ you jump to your feet. It felt too good, too grounding to have him touching you like this. You nearly stumble back over the coffee table, but you manage to stand tall and firm despite the fact that even though your mind feels sober, your body is fucking wasted.
âDonghyuck.â You argue immediately, using his name the same way you did when he was a child. âStop.âÂ
He throws his hands up in defense, raising his brows in surprise.Â
âIââ He pauses, staring at you. âI thought you were enjoying it, my mistake.âÂ
Itâs the fact that you were. You were enjoying it too much, and there would have been no defending your actions if you had given in to the feeling.Â
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Stupid. Stupid, stupid, fucking stupid. Thatâs what you are.Â
Your ex husband was right all along. Out of everything youâve accomplished since your heart was shattered, ripped to shreds, stomped on, youâd think it would take a lot more to break you.Â
âYou ask for too much.â Your ex husband had said once. âYou canât even stand to be alone for one day.â He had said a year or so later. Small digs on who you are and what you need sprinkled into small arguments, only to come more and more from the lips that you kissed and promised to kiss until you die. Until all of his words were to make you feel inadequate. Until everything he said to you stuck with you, forcing your confidence to bury itself six feet under.Â
Are you to blame? As it stands, maybe. Why else would you be allowing yourself to consider it? Consider Donghyuck, you mean. Never in your life would you have considered him of all people to be the one that you need.Â
Never in your life would you have thought heâd be interested in a woman like you, in a situation like yours, with a child. Why did that night with him stick in your head more than every single mean thing your ex husband said to you? Why did his words seem more believable?Â
Because you were drunk at the time? Wet, neglected, and drunk?Â
Then why is it that youâre sitting here on your day off with your beautiful, bright-eyed daughter rummaging through your purse for whatever catches her eyeâŠ.and youâre thinking about him? About what he's doing right now, how heâs feeling, if heâs eaten.Â
Why is it that youâve gone the entire week ignoring his texts, asking if you need him to come resume his job as babysitter? Why the fuck do you want to accept after how he took advantage of your state of mind? After he came onto you and tried to manipulate you?Â
Despite all of his words ringing true in the back of your head. That was a dirty tactic he pulled on you. Yet, stillâŠyou want him back, and god fucking dammit you could cry knowing your daughter called him âdad.â You hadnât believed him at first, but after this week alone it slipped from her mouth several times.Â
âHeâs not your dad, baby, thatâs just Donghyuck.â You remember correcting her more than once, and all she responded to you with was a confused expression.Â
âWhy not?â Is what her little voice gave back to you after her child-like brain decided it was fed up with you correcting her very right assumption of the guy who promised her the Barbie Dream House.Â
Why not?
Why not?
Well, if you could have an adult conversation with a five year old it would be much easier to answer that. Because he sprayed cheese in your hair. Because you were seventeen and his babysitter when he was twelve years old. Because you ogled him without recognizing him as your pool boy. Because of a lot of things.
âUncle Donghyuck.â You finally corrected her again.Â
She shook her head, and continued doing and saying as her little mind pleased. It made you miss having a father around for her though. You think she needs it more than you do.Â
And that fucking Barbie Dream house is what brings Haechan back.Â
Right at your doorstep today, with a gentle knock to the door and a timid smile on his face. He doesnât even look at you when you open the door, instead he crouches down in front of you with the big, flashy box. He ignores you, tilting himself to look past you and straight at your daughter.Â
You hold your breath when she runs to Haechan, arms spread open and laughter shrieking in your ears. Your heart aches so much at this moment.Â
Given your work schedule, youâd never gotten to see them interact much. He always came over as she was eating her breakfast, and you always came home after she was put to bed. You guess itâs fair that they have a bond now. She doesnât even run at you like she does for Haechan. In fact, the only time she ever does is when she had a bad day at daycare or had a tummy ache.Â
She runs to you when she needs you, but she runs to Haechan like she wants to. Like she genuinely is attached to him, and his kind smile, and his eyes, and probably that warm embrace that youâve never let yourself experience.
You watch them, not allowing yourself to melt at the moment because you did not invite him over, nor did you give consent to bring that fucking doll house here. But you canât say no now, as she clings to his leg when he stands up and looks at you with an almost irritated glint in his eye.Â
His eyes trail all over you briefly too, as if checking for any new spots or marks that a man could have put on you. You feel seen, dipping your head to not meet his eye and scratching your neck as if to hide a spot there. There isnât a mark, itâs justâŠfear? nervousness? anxiety?Â
And then he hauls the box in for her without saying a word to you. You watch him hard now that his back is turned. His voice sounds so loving when he speaks to your child as if sheâs an equal. Plopping down on your living room floor with her and opening the large box.Â
He Oooâs and Aahhhâs with her as he pulls each piece out, connecting the walls, the doors, handing her little things to help him with. And both of them are so focused on the task at hand to create a safe space for all of her abused barbie dolls that⊠you feel invisible.
For the first time ever in front of them both, you feel like you are nothing but a ghost. That he is the single parent. As if youâre forgotten, less loved, not wanted, not even needed.Â
Thereâs a bubbling in your gut when you tear up, reminding yourself that what Haechan did that night was probably just, well, heâs a man. Men aim to fuck at all times usually, and you guess you should have expected it at one point from him because, again, youâre aware that heâs attracted to you. Even more aware now.Â
But the way you feel right now outshines that. Heâs ignoring you to keep your child happy. She is ignoring you because it seems Haechan does a better job at it than you do.Â
And, well, heâs not holding you down, whispering things in your ear, letting out frustrated little sighs at your drunken or drowsy words now. So, you say nothing. All you can do is go to the kitchen and prepare a snack, trying to force the tears to stay inside of you with quiet sniffles, hoping you can join their little picture perfect moment so that you can be helpful too.Â
Your heart swells when they both look at you as you present a plate of snacks. You have to hold back tears again at the way their eyes shine, thanking you for the snacks. Haechanâs eyes stay on you a bit longer though, as if saying âSee? See what youâre making her go without?âÂ
You do see it.Â
ButâŠit canât be him. As much as you wish it could be, you just canât. There has to be another man out there just like him, one that doesnât have a history with you that would cause whispers and questions. There has to be.Â
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That moment you witnessed seems to have solidified Haechanâs place in your home. Whether it be for babysitting or simply so your child can see him when sheâs asking for him (which is often.) Itâs kind of an issue, actually, because now the choice isnât yours anymore and it appears Haechan knows that.
You hate that youâre forced to see him for what he is now. How he proves himself over and over again to be the man you need. The issue is that you still donât want it to be him. The bigger issue is that heâs breaking down your walls, doing little things for you, looking at you with those dark eyesâ your resolve cracks and reminds you every time heâs here that maybe it could work. Maybe youâll give him a chance. Maybe you wonât have to go out anymore looking to fill a void that no one else fits into.Â
Itâs the way that now, you canât help but to compare him to your ex husband. The man who you loved for so long, who you genuinely thought youâd spend your life with happily and safely. Now, compared to Haechan, your ex seems likeâŠnothing. Like a little crack in your resolve. He was older than you by just two years, took care of you for so long, impregnated you, and slowly but surely throughout all that time grew to resent you too.
You still donât know why, but perhaps itâs just because you were growing into your own. You were becoming more independent, though he never had the capability to realize just how much you depended on him during the very time he left you.Â
âI just donât want to do this anymore.â Your ex had said to you on that fateful morning.Â
Your belly was big as you tried to waddle up to him when he said that. You canât help but think back now and wonder how pathetic you must have seemed when he yanked his arm from your grip, especially due to the difficulty of your pregnancy already. You were sick through most of it, only having a few good days here or there where that pregnancy glow would make your ex husband second-guess himself.Â
The slam of the door after that was more exhausting than the months of pregnancy youâd gone through. It felt loud, so loud you could hear it vibrate throughout your whole body. You recall falling to the floor and carefully holding your stomach. Itâs like all of the heartbreak pooled there. The loss of your husband three weeks before he got to meet the child he was supposed to love. Her little heart must have been breaking inside of you too.Â
Double the pain.
And then you were mending yourself on your own. Going into labor early from stress, your family helped take care of you more than her. You were needier. You were broken.Â
And never, fucking ever, did you think youâd find yourself sitting comfortable in your lavish home realizing that your ex-husband didnât deserve all of that pain from you. He left you for that girl, and not two months later did she leave him.Â
Never did you think youâd find yourself thinking about Haechan as a replacement either. Well, not a replacement, but like, maybe justâŠheâs the idea of a perfect dad if you pay attention to how your child talks about him. How they act together. How she cries for him before bed when heâs not there, asking you why you donât read to her the way Haechan does. Why don't you sing to her the way he does? Why don't you use the same voices for her dolls? Why you donât cut her food like he does, why you donât do this or that.
Thatâs what makes it click the most you think. The fact that Haechan has given her something you never can. The love of a father. It doesnât even feel like heâs babysitting at this point, heâs parenting, teaching her lessons, bandaging small boo-boos, fixing her hair,âŠcooking dinner, cleaningâŠexisting here like he belongs.
Haechan has done more for your daughter than your ex husband ever could have, more than you could have done for her too, you think.Â
Even now, as you come home night after night and see him, you struggle to see him as anyone that isnât who your daughter needs. Maybe who you need.Â
His summer semester is coming to an end too, and itâs hard to see him as a college student now. He really does coursework and everything that needs to be done at your home all within a single work day? With no complaints at all? Lately, youâve noticed that heâs been more focused on studying when he babysits too, but still your daughter listens to him better than she listens to you.Â
Yet, still, itâs like youâre avoiding each other as you go through the motions, but you notice him more. You feel more discomfort because of it, mostly because you know your resolve about this is breaking. Thereâs a fear inside of you that revolves around him.
What if you missed your chance?Â
What if it does end up being a mistake if he still wants you?
You donât know what to do, but you know you want him.Â
Some nights, Haechan does sleep over due to exhaustion and you donât even ask him to leave because you know heâs not doing it to try anything. The avoidance is loud. Lately, you come home from work and there he is, sitting up with his laptop on his lap but sound asleep, softly snoring. Each time, you remind yourself of how heâs sacrificing his study time to babysit. You know your child can be distracting and needy when she wants something too, but he doesnât complain even a little bit. The least you could have done was bring him a blanket, which you did. And you woke the next morning to find him curled up on the same couch, laptop toppled over onto the floor.
Small, gentle acts of kindness towards each other but never face to face. Youâve woken to fresh coffee countless times, made exactly the way you like it because you know heâs watched you make it yourself. Youâve come home to re-stocked items, like milk and eggs, laundry detergent, and even toothpaste. Itâs nice, and a small indication that he doesnât resent you. Even through face-to-face avoidance on your part.
Tonight seemed different though, compared to all of the other nights when you canât go out. You walked through the door to the smell of dinner and your child still awake, sing-songing at you the moment you walked in.Â
âDad said I can stay up late!âÂ
You quirk a brow, her calling him that now becoming a regular occurrence to the point it goes through one ear and out the other for you. You recall discussing her bed time though, with absolutely no exceptions.
âDid he now?â You hug her before taking off your cardigan, walking with her to the kitchen where you find Haechan, placing down a small plate on the table with cartoon characters on it, right in front of two bigger plates with bigger portions of delicious looking food placed neatly on it.
Your heart swells, but your anxiety grows twice as big alongside it. This.Â
This is what youâve wanted for so long. This is what you never thought you could find. So, why is it that you still have push-back in your mind? Despite knowing that Haechan has proven himself time and time again, you want to argue?!Â
Perhaps itâs because you like the way he tries. Maybe youâre not ready to lose that feeling of being chased in some way, of being begged to let him stay. Maybe itâs because you begged your husband, desperate for him to keep you, but he left anyway. It feels like Haechan gives you power over yourself, over your love-life, over everything, really.Â
And if you were to actually accept his advances, even just a dinner on your table, what if he stops? What if he gets bored once he gets what he wants? After all, heâs still young, you canât truly imagine he wants to do this forever.Â
Not with you, and not with your daughter either.Â
âWhatâs all this? Isnât it a bit late for her to have dinner?â You question him instantly, anxiety bubbling up out of assumption alone.Â
âWe had a small snack a few hours ago.â Haechan reassures you. âI finished my exams and had a burst of energy to celebrate, besides, itâs a Fridayââ He goes to pull out a chair for you. âYou donât need to be up early either. A late dinner every now and then never hurt anybody.â
The way this is the first time the two of you have had a face-to-face conversation sinceâŠthat night. His voice calms you, and thatâs scary.Â
You huff, happy because you could easily melt into this chair and pretend youâre having a family dinner, like you always wanted, like you never rejected a touch from him that you desperately wanted. You could just play along and pretend Haechan is everything you need. Except, it wouldnât even be pretending at this point. The whole idea of him has changed. But, again, that anxiety. You still have that little voice holding you back, no matter what you want, or what you need, you fear itâll be ripped from you again if you were to let yourself be weak for another person.
âIâm really tired, Donghyuck.â You explain, walking past the kitchen and towards your bedroom. âThanks for dinner but Iâm not too hungry and I just want to lay down.â
And with that, he watches you leave. No real appreciation, no congratulations on him finishing his exams, not even a kiss to your childâs forehead. Is he still expected to be the one to put her to sleep?Â
Why is he even here? Why did he do all of this?Â
His patience is running dry.
So, he eats with your child as your plate goes cold and he leaves it there. If you canât even handle a dinner at the table with the person who cooked it, you can deal with your own fucking plate. Throw away your own fucking food, wash your own fucking dish. And if you canât tuck your child into bed, heâll do it, but you can shove that fake ass exhaustion right up your ass for all he cares.Â
He knows youâre not exhausted. Heâs seen you when you are. Youâre just being an asshole to him at this point, trying to appear like youâre perfectly happy with the life you live when your drunken rants prove otherwise. You treat him like everything he does has an ulterior motive. Which, yeah, maybe it does, but he was genuinely excited to have someone celebrate the end of this semester with him. Maybe assuming youâd indulge him went too far. For the first time, he wasnât doing it to impress you.
By the time Haechan gets your daughter to bed, all tucked in with a little tune to fall asleep to, he closes her door and just stands there in the silence on the other side of it.Â
You must really enjoy being a single mother, huh? This is why too. He always questioned it. Youâre so attractive, so well-adjusted. You work hard, your daughter is a sunshine in this world, and youâve not managed to find anyone to love you yet? He thought he was lucky to be the one getting to spend time with you.Â
Turns out, you refuse to let anyone in despite Haechan knowing, fucking seeing straight through you. You want something from someone. You need it, yearn for it, even. But itâs almost laughable at the way you refuse it.Â
Excuses, excuses, excuses.Â
Itâs the fucking audacity you have taking advantage of him. Youâve practically led him on. You lend him everything he wants in life. Thatâs it. You lend it. From flaunting yourself before you go to bars, to exposing all the marks you allow other men to leave on you. Letting him stay in this house, father your child, cook, clean, mend, fix, heal.Â
From being a faux-father to being minimized to a college student that you used to babysit. Heâs offered you relief in so many ways including sexual, and all you fucking do is avoid, deny, fucking reject him. You still go out to bars, later and later youâll come home with new swells against your skin, but always looking so empty and disappointed. Sometimes he thinks you try to make him jealous. Sometimes, he thinks you want him to try again.Â
Sometimes, he thinks you get off on the fact that he keeps trying.
And he has tried. Albeit more gently lately, but he has. Small, lingering touches when he hands you your coat to help you get out the door and to work quicker. Starting your car for you before you leave. Fuck, he even opens the goddamn door for you. Anything to make you feel appreciated, respected, and fucking wanted.
The silence is loud in his ears due to the sheer irritation as he drops his head, staring at his feet and knowing itâll only take a few strides to reach your bedroom. A room he still craves to be in.
Heâs raided those drawers by now, because of course he has. Soiling your panties, your sheets, anything that still smells like you when youâre gone for the day, all so he can act normal upon seeing you when you come home. Heâs laid in your bed by now too, wondering what it would feel like to have your weight beside him. He fantasized about anything and everything he possibly could in there.
And heâs always warmer. Always cums the hardest with weak, muffled moans as he stuffs your pillows into his mouth to keep quiet. All before cleaning every trace of himself there, closing the door, and wishing he was allowed to exist in there with you.Â
Right now will be the first time Haechan enters your room to your knowledge, and it sucks for him because he has essentially trained himself to get hard every time he opens this fucking door. Still, he composes himself, and itâs a bit of a shock if youâre being honest. You thought heâd go home after this, you were kind of hoping he would after you made it so awkward.Â
You felt guilty the second you saw his expression fall to your rejection of eating dinner like a big fucking happy family. You want it so bad, you want him so bad.
When you left the kitchen, you immediately went to your room and hopped in the shower, well aware that he wouldnât follow you. You thought hard while the hot water made attempts to wash away your feelings. Would it have been so bad to just eat with him? With your daughter? With both of them? The way his eyes fell, it burned your heart a little bit.
Still, no answers came to you because you know part of you just wants to see what else he will do for you. Despite the history with him, and despite knowing his entire family would question and scoff at you for itâŠIs it really so wrong? To want to give him a chance just to see if heâll leave you too?Â
Just to see if itâll hurt when he does it too?
Inviting him to your home almost every day of the week isnât wrong, right? Forgetting to pay him all those times before, hoping to see him again and get that confidence boost, that wasnât wrong. Letting your daughter attach herself to him when you swore he wasnât permanent, no longer having the energy to correct her use of âdadâ towards him⊠none of that is wrong.
 Itâs all Haechan. Heâs the one in the wrong for willingly following along, not you. Right?Â
And as youâre sitting on your bed in your towel, zoning out and staring at your floor, Haechan swings your bedroom door open without a single knock, mindfully closes it, and immediately goes off on you.
Somehow, you really expected him to accept your rejection but your heart swells that he didnât. You donât think he ever will, and youâre exhausting yourself hoping heâll prove you wrong.
Heâs shown you enough by now. This is what breaks down that wall inside of you, isnât it?
âWhat am I doing wrong?â He shoots his first question out in a desperate whisper shout, eyes searing into you before continuing without a single breath. âBecause I do everything for her, and i do everything for you, does that really make you so fucking uncomfortable?â
âDââ You try to respond, feeling your skin prickle at the sheer irritation in his expression.
Heâs fighting for you.
âIsnât that what you want?!â
âAfter everything I doââ He throws his hands up now, running his fingers through his hair as if you make him feel like he wants to rip it out. âAfter trying to make your life easy while making mine harder, for what? You to not eat the fucking food I made? For you to go to the bar all the time just to come back disappointed like Iâm not right here waiting for you to come back?âÂ
âWhat ar-â
âDonât ask me any stupid fucking questions, Just answer me.â He drops his hands, stepping up to you, placing both hands on either side of your hips, doing his best not to react to your near-naked body. âWhy?â
You lean back, trying to create more distance to try and give him an answer that you donât even know yourself, but he just keeps closing in. Not letting you escape this time. Youâve never seen him so riled up before, itâsâŠ
WellâŠ
âBecause I came onto you? Because I tried to do what no one else will do for you?â His voice shakes when he says it, and you can feel the heat radiating from him. Is heâŠabout to cry?
Only now, seeing him so close with an entirely sober brain do you realize an answer. Maybe not to his question of why, but to the same question youâve been asking yourself. Itâs because of that look in his eye. Youâve never been able to put a word to it, but now with him demanding you explain yourself so closely, you see it.
Heâs desperate.Â
Arguably as desperate as youâve felt to fill the void. Except, heâs trying to do that for you and you wonât let him out of what? Fucking fear? Hell, at this point the history means close to nothing when it comes to all the new memories heâs made in this home, even without you. The history of babysitting him, the history of your ex husband leaving you. It doesnât matter.
You think hard, so hard that you feel your eyes burn as you stare up at him. Glancing without intention to his jaw when he clenches it, to his neck when he swallows his words, to his lips, his eyes, the hair falling in his faceâŠand you justâ
You reach up, running a soothing hand through his hair to get it out of his face. Then you see those same desperate eyes somehow grow more desperate as he lowers them, leaning into the touch, as if youâve been starving him the same way youâve been starved for years. He falls silent too, cutting himself off mid-question just to feel you touch him for the first time.
âI donât know.â You say, which seems like a better answer than having an excuse. What can you say otherwise? That itâs because it shouldnât  be him? That youâre afraid heâll realize heâs not ready to settle? To be a dad? Heâll ask why, and itâll be the same answer you gave on that drunken night. An answer that you no longer care about.Â
You babysat him when he was a child, but you were still a child too.Â
You were still a child, and time changes things.
Your ex husband left you, and youâre afraid he will too, especially because heâs so much younger? Who cares?
Your answer seems to fly right past his head though, because heâs still leaning to feel your fingers in his hair, and heâs looking at you as if nothing you say will matter unless you make it hold some weight to him.Â
âDonghyuckââ You pause, scratching right at his nape, uncaring of how you can feel your towel loosening on your body. âYou havenât done anything wrong.â
Somehow, his name on your lips is what he needed to hear. The tone of it, the rasp in your voice, your fingers in his hair. Actions speak louder than anything the two of you could say right now, and he canât help it. Nothing can stop him, not even you at this point.Â
He hasnât done anything wrong you say? Itâs because he fucking knows what you need.
You inhale deeply, holding your breath when you feel your back hit your mattress, his warm hands instantly taking advantage of your freshly-showered state and tugging at the towel just slightly to let it fall open. You hear a slight breath from him at that moment, an inhale. There, he climbs onto the bed, nudging himself between your legs and trapping you there under him, both hands holding your arms down.
Like heâs afraid youâll reject him again.
âYouâre going to let me take care of you now.â He demands, though to him it sounds more like a plea solely due to the fact that heâs so fucking turned on itâs unreal. That feeling of when your fingers were in his hair? Seeing your naked body? Unshaved pussy? Being in this fucking room with you? It throws him into overdrive, especially with the way you just lay there blinking up at him in surprise. The anger melting away only amplifies it more.Â
How could you do this to him? Genuinely, how could you have let him fucking suffer for you like this?Â
Still, you blink up as if youâre a deer caught in headlights and it makes his heart thump against his ribcage. Your eyes are so bright, that glint of sadness he had seen so many times isnât there right now. And thereâs so much adrenaline inside of him, like he needs to move fast before you change your mind again. Youâve not let him do this for some fucking reason or another and now youâre just laying here for him.
 There, with your entire body on display, and you appear to be docile. Fucking obedient? Like he always knew you would be if youâd just drop the fucking act?! You were meant for him and him alone, and heâs going to show you why.
In all honesty, youâre tired of denying yourself by now. From the moment you saw him that day cleaning your pool for the first time, youâve wanted him on some level. It wasnât an emotional attachment, but a hope, a fantasy for you. And when you recognized him, you were more impressed with him than embarrassed. You tried not to let your eyes wander out of guilt, out of feeling like a pervert.Â
And then, that day when he came onto you, he was just a man to you. Your faux guilt kept you from letting him, and your hope to be chased kept you from it too. As if youâve never pleasured yourself to the thought of him, shamefully in this very bed. As if youâve never called out his name with a silent breath. If you keep going at this point, youâll lose him before ever knowing what he could really be for you.Â
This is his last ditch effort to beat you at your own game, and youâre ready to lose.
 So, now, you let yourself get lost in him. In his eyes and the way he pleads and makes his demands. He probably doesnât recognize his strength against you right now, or how much itâs turning you on. With the way he has both hands on your wrists, probably bruising them, and thereâs nothing you could do even if you wanted to. His weight holding you down feels better than you imagined.Â
After so long, with so many failed hookups where youâve told them of your daughter and all theyâve done in return is get their orgasm then leaveâŠHaechan. He wants to take care of you?Â
He wants toâŠgive you what you need?
Fuck, you know he can. Thatâs the fucked up part. Heâs proved it so many times to you in so many ways. Youâve watched him, the way he moves and acts around you. Heâs exactly what you need.You pushed him to this point, where his sanity is on the brink of crashing. Taking it away from him again feels wrong, because itâs exactly what you want.
And when he presses his leg between yours, he knows.
âAgain?â He comments, now releasing your wrist from one hand and running it down, able to slip his fingers right into the slick of your bare pussy. âYouâre wet.âÂ
You still just blink up at him with an intake of breath at the pleasure, thoughts running left and right on what to do, finally realizing you donât want to do a damn thing. Heâd do it all if you let him. Clean your house, be a father, fix all of the breaks, make you wet.
And you just feel him, the way his fingers play around with what he does to you. You can practically feel his confidence rise at the way you spread your legs a bit more, as if to give him more access. When you look at him, his expression remains harsh, but slowly he moves himself down, lips brushing over one of your nipples while keeping eye contact.
Still that irritated look, like heâs mad you havenât let him do this before now.
âHow many times are you going to pretend like Iâm not the one who gets you wet?â He asks before rubbing circles around your clit, tongue flicking in the same way around your nipple. âLike I donât have a right to take care of you?â
Your breath is still caught in your throat, trying to be careful about what you say right now despite knowing you canât speak. You focus on what heâs doing instead, losing yourself to something youâve not felt in far, far too long.Â
Heâs right. Heâs gotten you wet more than once by now. More than he knows.Â
And goddamn, he knew your tits could bounce, but the way they move without the support of a bra, the plush, soft feeling of your nipple growing erect in his mouth, all for him to bite and pull at. He does it too, listening to the little seething sound of pain from you when he pulls all the way back with your nipple between his teeth. Only to let it fall from his mouth and break eye contact with you to see the jiggle as it falls.
His cock twitches, at everything that you are right now, feeling more pleasure through seeing you like this alone compared to fucking his own fist on your bedroom floor. He notes how your legs squeeze him more at the nipple stimulation than his fingers too, memorizing the way your labia falls open between them. He smirks, flicking his tongue more, quicker.Â
There. There it is.
A low rumble in your chest falls from your lips. Soft, a moan. A very small, delicate sound.
âYou like this?â Haechan asks, looking up at you, letting his tongue fall from his mouth again and flicking the erect nub. âWhen I play with your tits?â
You nod, throwing an arm over your face in embarrassment that this is actually happening. Youâre letting him. Already you feel yourself heat up more, even when he takes his fingers away from your clit and instead, uses them to flick your other nipple.Â
And he does this for a few minutes. Paying special attention to your tits, going back and forth with his fingers and tongue to each bud, trying so hard to not stop just to shove his cock between them and use them the way heâs always wanted. He focuses on drawing out more and more little sounds from you instead, slurping his own saliva from your painfully erect nipples, pulling back, blowing cold air, then warming it up again with his lips. All while simultaneously groping, flicking, and pinching with his other hand.Â
âJesus, Haechanââ You moan quietly, chest rising and falling as he squeezes and licks against you.Â
Thatâs right, say his name. Let him fucking know heâs doing what you like. Haechan thinks, feeling his cock weep in his pants as he does it. Wondering just how sensitive you are to be reacting like this to simple nipple stimulation. God, heâs wanted to suck on these for so long, and now youâre letting him. Theyâre so big, so plush. He wants to fucking cover them with his mouth, he wants to bury his face in them, kiss them all over them.Â
And if they were to get bigger? He moans at the thought, remembering that conversation you had with your mom. You want another. He bets theyâd swell upâOh, fuck yeah. Theyâd probably hurt to rub against your shirt. God, fuck, he canât control his thoughts right now.
 Finally.Â
Fucking finally, he has you and heâs not going to let you run away again.
He doesnât fucking care if itâs forward. He wants what he wants, you want what you want. That want just so happens to line up. Besides, heâs already proved himself to you, he knows it. If youâre letting him do this, maybe youâd let him stay like this.Â
âDid they get bigger?â He moans briefly as he swaps to your other nipple again. âSo full, so heavy, were they leaking all over you?â
You listen to him, trying not to feel the pit in your stomach bubble with even more arousal at his blatant and dirty words, feeling your clit throb at the stimulation your tits are getting right now.Â
âMakes my dick fucking throb just thinking about it. FuckââÂ
âLet me give you another,â He mumbles now, almost mindlessly before looking up at you with an intense gaze as he bites down, indicating that heâs not mindless about it at all.Â
âSwell you up, make you glowââ
Oh.Â
Why is thatâ why are you dripping?
He hears that moan you let out. Different from the others, almost desperate.
âMm, yeah.â He encourages it, now allowing his hand to travel back down to witness how much wetter youâve gotten at those words. So messy, so perfect. âKnew youâd want it raw.â
You canât help the nod, as it comes before you even process his words solely because you feel his fingers slip inside of you. You havenât been this wet in so, so long. You want to feel it. To be full again, of anything. Of him.
âYe-â You start, interrupting yourself with a bite of your lip and your eyes rolling back.Â
âThatâs right mama,â He coos, tilting his fingers up and amplifying the pressure inside of you. âGonna let me take good care of this pussy, yeah?â He adds, lifting from your tits and ghosting his lips over yours.Â
He watches you closely, that daze in your eye. God, you look so horny right now. Thereâs nothing more he wants than to see this time and time again. To let you wake up every morning with his warm cum inside of you, to see your belly swell with his child, to see your tits grow until they hurt.Â
Heâd take care of you. Heâd take good fucking care of you.Â
âSay something.â Haechan whispers against your lips, darting his tongue out against your lips, angling his fingers up and making you moan. âSay you want me to give it to you raw.â
You open your mouth, feeling his tongue lick and swallow up that moan you just gave him before you try to compose yourself. You canât help it, youâre so, so sensitive right now and you canât help but find it incredibly sexy to be here, laid bare, while heâs still fully clothed.
Like he really is doing this for you. Heâs not trying to get his own orgasm and leave. Youâre weak and those words of âlet me give you anotherâ shines in your head. Weak, youâre weak. You should be thinking about condoms, you should be thinking about the consequences of this.Â
But youâre not.Â
You do like it raw.
âHaechanââ You stutter as you try to grasp the reality of his words, feeling his fingers repeatedly hit right where you need it. âIâmâŠnot protected.â
He moans. Loudly, before huffing out an irritated groan.
âYou must really want it then.â He narrows his eyes at you. âGoing out all the time trying to get fuckedââÂ
He plunges his fingers in again, deep, and holds them there as he pulls back to look at you. To really look at you, then he glares.
âYouâd really let just some fucking dude give you a baby?âÂ
You repeatedly shake your head.Â
âNo!â You retort, thrusting your hips up. âI justââ
âMhm,â He pulls his fingers out now, sliding himself down so fast that you can barely comprehend him sucking your clit into his mouth before pulling back in a moan at the taste of you. âIf mama wants another, daddy will give her one.â He says now, as if to pacify you.
As if to give you everything.Â
And youâd argue, really, you would. You want another child so bad, but this isâ itâs too soon. You havenât even established a relationship with him yet. Boundaries havenât been discussed. His college planâ but fuck itâs not entirely your fault that youâre like, super turned on by the idea of it. To the thought of being so filled with cum that thereâs no possible way you couldnât end up pregnant. An indication that, no matter what, no man at a club could fulfill the arousal for you even if they cared to do it.Â
Youâd never have let them actually fuck you raw.Â
Haechan thoughâŠhow can you keep telling him no?
How could you reject him again when you want it so badly?Â
Fuck now, think later.
âYeahââ You say against your better judgement, hands reaching down to his hair so you can grind up against his mouth, lost to the arousal as you mimic what he referred to himself as. âDaddy?â
You feel his mouth fall slack at that, as if youâre accepting him in full now. You feel your clit hit nothing in his open mouth, but it throbs harder.Â
 He knew you were slightly into him for letting him do this at all, but now, youâre truly accepting it. Like you know heâll fucking do it, like you want him to fucking do it.
âThatâs right,â He moans against your clit as he licks at it, barely able to comprehend your voice calling him that but clinging to it all the same. âGonna let daddy do it all for you.â Â
Yeah. You are. Youâre gonna let him do it. All of it.Â
And then, the room is enveloped in quiet moans, more from Haechan than from you due to your breath being stuck in your throat. His tongue, licking every part of your sensitive cunt, his hands reaching back up to your tits, fondling, pinching, painfully tugging at them as he moans louder, louder, louder for you to want him.
He presses his hips up and against your mattress as he tastes you, so deeply it hurts his cock to neglect it like this. Each rub feels raw, twitching and pulsing to be let out, to be inside of you, on you, against you. Filling you up with his cum, plugging it in as a promise that you canât leave him even if you wanted to.Â
Heâs going to fucking do exactly what he said he would.Â
And only when you feel his tongue lap against your hole do you finally release your breath, âDaddyâ coming out in a choked back sob. It breaks him, his body going into overdrive as he pulls back and justâ stares at you with wild eyes.Â
You stare back up at him, knowing that calling him that means something more than a cringe little roleplay kink. It means something deeper to him. He wants to be a dad, a real one.
âOh yeah?â He finally says, hands going straight to his button and zipper.Â
You canât help it, biting your lower lip as you blink up, watching his shoulders move, the veins on his arms protruding as he rushes to pull it out andâ oh. You moan at it, the way his heavy, slicked up, cock falls out, dark, needy.Â
âDaddyââ You urge him on, knowing that itâs driving him absolutely insane.Â
âMhm?â He shuffles himself off the bed, letting his pants drop as he lifts his shirt off of him and fucking glares at your tits. âYou want daddyâs cock?â Â He adds now, shooting his eyes up to you as both of his hands land on your legs.
Your mind goes blank when you feel him slide his hands around to the back of your thighs, pushing your legs forward, curling you in on yourself, forcing your pussy to be out and on display for him.Â
And you watch him, the way he stares down at it. Itâs embarrassing to be so seen right now, not having expected to get fucked open by anyone tonight, let alone him. You probably should have shaved or something, or like, not gotten out of the habit in the first place. But he moans at it, mouth falling open at the fact that you are entirely a fucking woman.Â
A fucking mother.
The prettiest pussy heâs ever fucking seen let alone tasted.
And he moans, breaking the silence, forgetting only for a moment how long heâs been wanting this. It boosts your confidence more than youâve ever felt. His reaction to this is more than your ex husbandâs reaction to you when you were pristine and borderline pornstar quality.Â
Haechan doesnât see you as used and neglected, he just sees you. And this. This is the pussy he wants. This is what he wants to put his baby in.Â
When he flicks his eyes back to you, with that same open mouthed expression, it knocks the breath out of you. Thereâs so much love in his eyes, or maybe lust, you donât care. You think youâre matching that expression for him too, because itâs like he canât hold back anymore. He canât just sit and look at you anymore.Â
He just canât.
And you feel it, his thick head pushing past the tightened, pulsing hole and not stopping. He pushes in slowly, painfully slow, to the point youâre both looking at each other with a slack jaw. Finally. The pain of it, the pleasure, the fucking need youâve been trying to fulfill.Â
That look on your face drives him wild too, he knows he has you by now. You like it, you love the way he slides in and makes damn sure you feel it. Every second of the slide pries you open, and he wants to remember this moment forever. He wants you to fucking remember too.Â
Wants you to know that no one will ever fit inside of you so perfectly, so deeply.
When he finally bottoms out, he leans forward to keep himself buried deep as he ghosts his lips over yours. He feels the way you try to kiss him, but he pulls back with a confident smirk.Â
âWhen was the last time youâve felt a cock so deep in you?â He whispers hotly, knowing you need not answer. Knowing you wonât answer, not with the way youâre instantly lifting your head and kissing him.Â
Your pussy pulses around him when you lick into his mouth, the first real kiss sending his heart soaring. He twitches inside of you with each squeeze, and kisses you harder, deeper. And somehow, it brings tears to your eyes.Â
The way he kisses, the way he makes you feel him. Fuck, the way he makes you feel whole, so wanted, like youâre amazing to him. In more ways than just a body to fuck, but heâs stuck around despite all of your avoidance and rejections. You hope youâre making it worth it.Â
Fuck, you need to feel worth it to him.
âYouâd better not fucking pull out.â You groan through a breath, his lips still kissing you through your words as he finally pulls his hips back, fucking in once.Â
Hard.
Honestly, could you have said anything else at this moment? Heâs trying to make this last, he needs it to last. If you keep fucking talking, saying everything heâs ever wanted to hearâÂ
âFuck,â  He moans, his hands moving up to your cheeks as he licks into your mouth. âYou canâtââ He continues, fucking in again, moving your body up with each thrust do to the sheer force of him trying to plunge in as deep as he can. âYou canât fucking say that to me right now.â
Youâre seeing stars though, unable to say anything else as your eyes roll back at the way the head of his cock practically kisses your cervix with each push into you. Heâs so rough, so desperate for it.Â
You donât think he expected you to respond either, with the way he keeps his lips on yours, his body pressed so closely that having your legs to your chest means nothing to him now. Mating press be damned, heâs lost his mind to the feeling, not the aesthetic of being a fucking dad.Â
Your legs wrap around him instead, and heâs all too happy to feel it. Your legs hug him the same way your arms do, the same way your pussy does, and heâs fucking in love with you.Â
He braces one hand back against your leg, holding it against his hips as he continues to fuck forward, still at the same pace. Deep and with purpose. Every few seconds the bursts of pleasure run through him, making him shiver and moan into your mouth. Little grunts, near whimpers for you to let him give you the world.Â
More than this. More than fucking, more than taking care of you, more than anything he could ever possibly give you. Heâll find a way.Â
And then, youâre clenching hard, matching his near-whimpers except moaning in full pants, babbling and drooling cries against his mouth.Â
âMamaââ Haechan soothes, continuing his pace as he tilts his head back to get a good look at that lost gaze in your eyes. âYouâre crying?â
You nod with a laugh, tears rolling down the same way the wet of your cunt slips down your ass. Youâve never felt so good, so fucking full. And for some reason, that does him in. Making it last be damned, he genuinely thinks heâs won you over. He can make it last next time, he can do more next time, he canâ
He leans back all the way now, onto his knees as your legs try to hug him back to you, and his eyes go straight back to those tits. The way he made a promise. The way they bounce, slick with his sweat from pressing against you.Â
âFuck, youâre so pretty.â He grunts in a breath, now quickening his pace and snapping his hips. Pulling out all the way briefly to plunge into your again. âCanât get any deeperââ He continues, flicking his eyes from your face, to your tits, to that beautiful pussy of yours swallowing him up.Â
Now his eyes roll back, hands going back to your thighs to push you back into position. No way in hell can he last, not at a pace like this, inside of a woman like you.Â
âDonât pull out.â You repeat again in a breath, seeing his face and the way he focuses solely on you. You know heâs going to cum, and you want him to. You want to feel it, every single fucking drop of it.Â
âYeah?â He nods his head with laser-focus on your pussy now, staring down as he points tight, short thrusts inside of you. âMomma wants my cum? Hm?â
Oh, heâs fucking gone.
âShe likes it?â He continues to talk himself up. âLikes being so fucking full of it? Yeah?âÂ
Goddamn, fuck, heâs insane.Â
âYes, daddyââ You whisper-shout, fingers shooting to your clit, other hand raising to your mouth to silence the moans as to not be too loud.Â
âFuck, yeah you do.â He lets out a near growl, his voice low and rumbled as he slaps your hand away, pressing hard on your clit with his thumb as he buries himself in you once more and stiffening his abs. âThatâs right.â
And instantly upon feeling him pulse, that first spurt of cum painting your insides, you lose yourself with him. Your fingers drop from your mouth and you release a pornographic moan for him, rutting yourself against him, as if to fuck it deeper into you.Â
It only prolongs the orgasm though, for both of you.Â
Haechan is silent, trying to keep his eyes open through the pleasure as you pulse and squirt around him, his thumb pressing so hard into your clit, his cock cumming so deep, filling you up so wellâ He wants to see it. Wants to watch you fall apart for him. Wants to witness the way you let him do this.Â
And he holds himself there, so hard and so full of pleasure for you. Keeping himself practically impaled against your cervix until your body falls slack. Still, he fucks it into you, holding you in place with a softer moan now. No longer guttural or deep from his chest. His breathing is rough, a soft, near feminine moan leaves his lips as he falls forward onto you.Â
You wince along with him at the sensitivity, panting, a sweating tangle of a mess the two of you have become. And itâs the fact that itâs the first time youâve ever gotten off at the same time as someone else. You feelâŠsoft.Â
Your hands find their way to his hair as his face squished against your tits while he regains breath, not daring to move his hips because your pussy is too warm to leave right now. You brush the sweat-slicked hair out of his eyes, running your fingers all the way back to his nap, and then slowly down his back to rub and scratch.
He shivers at the feeling, humming the same feminine-tone he had released previously. And all he can do is hear your heart thumping against your chest, even through these soft tits of a pillow heâs lying against.
Haechan never wants to move again, not from this spot, ever.Â
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âYou know Iâm in love with you, right?â Haechan mentions briefly after a long moment of silence, looking up at you with his wet hair.Â
Deep in the night, your food still cold and on the table, youâve found yourself freshly showered and on your living room couch with Haechanâs head on your lap. He made sure to have stayed long enough inside of you to implantâŠsomething if it was going to happen. So he didnât argue a shower, and you didnât argue letting him join you either.Â
He had washed you, gently running his hands between your legs with what you can only describe as the softest, most alluring face a man has ever given you. Like he won the lottery, or found the answer to eternal life or something. You repaid him by letting him admire your tits again while you jerked him off, but thatâs besides the point.Â
âLike, Iâm not going to leave. I hope you know that.â He adds with a soft groan to your hands still in his hair. His new favorite thing.Â
You look down at him, hand moving to his cheek as the words hit you in the chest.
Thereâs anxiety along with happiness, at all of the boundaries and serious conversations that will need to be had now, but still, you feel like youâre glowing when he looks at you.
He didnât even have to say it, and arguably you probably donât need to say it back either. You think he sees it in you. Even if he didnât, you think heâd take anything you give to him and cling to it. After all, it only took one time for you to break entirely for him.Â
âAre you now?â You smile with a chuckle, looking back to the tv and pretending to watch it. âWell, thatâs good. Otherwise Iâd be making you go get a plan B or something.âÂ
His eyes narrow at you.
âLike hell Iâd let you, even if I didnât love you.â He groans. âBut I do, so donât ever say that shit again.â
You chuckle, feeling the calm in your home that once felt so chaotic. Itâs quiet now, both inside and outside of your head.Â
âCongratulations, by the way.â
He looks at you with question, quirking a brow.
âFor finishing your finals, I mean.â You smile, going back to petting through his hair and feeling like youâre on top of the world, despite what you assume to become half of your world lying his head on top of you.Â
âOh, right.â He smiles, now turning his head to watch the tv. âI probably failed them.â
You donât believe that, but even if he did, you think you could be what he needs too. He wouldnât have to work if he didnât want to.
If heâs really in love with you, all heâd have to do isâŠnot leave.Â
âAre you sure you want to be having these conversations with me? You can just call it a hook-up.â You finally say, hoping he means it, knowing it breaks your heart a bit to give him an out. âI donât want you to feel like Iâm going to trap you here just because Iâm a little smitten too.âÂ
Haechan glares, blinking up at you.
âI literally just tried to put a baby in you.âÂ
Thatâs fair.Â
âAnd youâre not going to run off? Get cold feet?âÂ
âCan you stop doubting me and just let me do what I want for once?â He argues playfully. âDo you even know how much that barbie fucking dream house costed me? I couldnât run even if, for some stupid ass reason, wanted to. I love her too.â
Silence for a moment.
âMaybe even more than I love you.âÂ
You really, really, want to believe him.
So, you do.Â
#nct smut#nct dream smut#lee haechan smut#haechan smut#donghyuck smut#lee donghyuck smut#nct x reader
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stray cat rescue
vi x reader
iâm so down bad for vi i could write like 20 absolutely filthy fics about her I NEEEED HER⊠âž(ïœĄË á” Ë )âžâĄ
tw: detailed smut, reader is fem - 18+ mdni!!
Strobe lights flashed in the dingy club as you sobbed hysterically into your watered down martini.
Life was going great! You got a new job, adopted a cat and were even looking for a house with your boyfriend - you hated to brag but you knew you had hit the jackpot.
And then you found out your boyfriend of two years cheated on you. Two long years down the drain in the blink of an eye.
That was that. Your perfectly curated life was crumbling before your eyes and there was nothing you could do to make the situation better. No matter how loudly you protested, your friends, bless them, decided to drag you out of your depression-induced hibernation in order to lift your spirits. Needless to say, the night was a major fail.
You down the rest of your drink and stand up from the booth, resigning yourself to another night of sobbing into your poor catâs fur.
Before you could make your escape, you bumped into a charismatic, muscular, attractive, no, very attractive woman - Vi.
She had a wicked smile and cocky demeanour as she told you sheâd been watching you for a while, that she hated to see a pretty woman cry, that she knew the best way to cure a broken heart.
Now your makeup was running for a whole other reason.
Viâs strong arms had manoeuvred you into a mating press, ankles dangling precariously over her shoulders as she lay off the edge of the bed and you watched her tattooed biceps bulge under the low light. Shit, she was so hot that just watching her made you wetter by the second.
âFuck, princess,â she groaned into your pussy, the vibrations forcing another wail from you, making your eyes roll back into your head, âyouâre absolutely dripping wet. Think you can squirt for me again, cutie?â
Her own low pants grew louder as she lifted her head from between your legs to look up at you. Her chiseled face was flushed a deep red, eyes glazed over and, fuck, the lower half of her face was drenched in your juices. If you didnât know any better, you would think she was the one getting ate out.
But you werenât one to question a gift horse in the mouth so you settled for roughly tugging tufts of her cropped hair in your hands to guide her mouth back to where it belonged. She groaned at this and you felt another pang of arousal hit deep within your core.
Her mouth returned to your sopping cunt but instead of eating you out like you hoped, her scarred lips left teasing, feather light kisses on the insides of both your sensitive thighs before plunging two thick digits inside of you without warning.
âShit, youâre so tight, cupcake.â She hissed as her wrist flexed from the force of pistoning inside and out, fingers curling up towards the spongy spot with a come-hither motion that had you drooling from the mind numbing pleasure.
âRight there! Please, please donât stop!â You keened and writhed, unable to keep still which made Vi chuckle, dark and full of sensuality.
âCanât believe your ex just gave this up. Sure as hell canât complain though.â
A rough hand manhandled your left tit, squishing and squeezing it in the palm of her large hand before she flicked your pebbled nipples, making you squeal in surprise.
Her eyes shot up from where they were glued to your heaving chest and a devious smirk spread across her face. She quickly yanked out the hand that was finger fucking you, blue eyes rolling playfully at your noise of indignation, to give attention to your neglected tit.
âYouâre such a slut for me, crying out for me like this and I barely had to touch you.â
Her wet fingers left behind a trail of your sticky arousal that she promptly licked up so she could lather wet, sloppy kisses all over your chest that turned into sharp nips when she reached your delicate neck - you moaned breathlessly at every kiss and the thought of the dark marks you would find blooming tomorrow, only having enough energy to stroke her silky hair.
Once she had her fill, she dove back down to continue lapping up your wetness like a man starved. The way her tongue flattened against your crying pussy to lick a wide trail up to your clit made you feel like you were on the verge of passing out, nothing could feel better than this. Mounting pleasure built up inside of you, snaking up from the tips of your toes all the way to the top of your head like a pressurised can under a flame - youâre all but ready to burst.
But then she pursed her lips around your swollen clit and sucked down so hard your vision went white and you were convinced you must be convulsing as you came so forcefully.
You knew you squirted again as Viâs pleased chuckles and loud slurps were a good enough tell tale sign for you - where had Vi been your whole life?
Her gravelly voice called out to you from beyond the thick fog that smothered you, the only thing that tethered you to the waking world, borderline snarling in the throes of satisfaction, âThink your little boyfriend couldâve fucked your brains out like this? Bet he didnât know the first thing about making you feel good, doll.â
You started to come down from your high, thighs trembling and so, so sticky. The world had finally stopped spinning and you think it must be over, that you can turn over and go to sleep content and happy for the first night in a very long time.
It seemed that Vi had other plans as in your haze, she had enough time to put on an impressive a strap-on. Well, know you had proof she definitely wasnât overcompensating for anything.
You gawked at the sheer size of the strap but somehow your pussy had became slicker at the thought of being pounded by her huge dick. Her sharp teeth flashed ravenously in the dim room as her well defined and sweaty body loomed over you- it was clear she was proud at the cum-drunk reaction she elicited from you.
She leaned down and tapped the side of your cheek and you instinctively opened your mouth, watching in morbid curiosity as she spat inside and claimed another part of your body. You yelped as she easily flipped you over and positioned you in doggy with a warm hand on the small of your back to arch it further.
You felt hotter by the second and another gush of arousal leaked from your pulsating core as you felt her plush tits and hard body drape across your back. Her hair tickled the side of your love-stained neck and you could feel the faintest touch of her chapped lips against the shell of your ear.
There, she whispered so lowly you had to strain just to make out the words, âGod, I love ruining innocent girls like you that donât know the first thing about a good fuck.â
#arcane fanfic#arcane#arcane violet#vi arcane#vi x reader#violet x reader#vi smut#vi league of legends#arcane smut#arcane vi#arcane vi x reader#smut#vi x reader smut#arcane oneshot
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A. dumah
B. I don't remember my wings that well, but definitely closer to a lighter shade. Perhaps bronze or sandy brown
C. I was a lower ranking angel, tasked with observing humanity. Not intervening
D. See above
E. I didn't fall, I reincarnated to earth as a human being and I still consider my species to be an angel
F. I remember being in a beautiful garden at some point. My mind felt light and airy, and I "felt" things around me with spatial awareness instead of objectively viewing it. If you asked me to describe a single plant or creature in this garden I wouldn't be able to.
G. I resonate with the element fire because I was born in December. My dad was sick with cancer when I was born, and they told him he might not live. After I was born, he got better. I always attach this to the transformative power of fire, and my angelic abilities are still attached to me in utero.
H. I'm a biblical angel, so I guess more likely the Christian god. I don't remember him though, just a faint memory of Him being present.
I. I feel I became confined to earth after observing humans for so long. I think at some point I wanted to be involved more than I was, so I decided to join.
K. The advantage of being an angel on earth really depends on your definition of an advantage. My definition is having more freedom, being able to touch, see and experience the world like a proper mammal rather than like a divine being. You miss out on a lot when you lack the 5 senses.
L. A disadvantage. There are many. When you're an angel, you don't get tired, you don't need to go to the bathroom, you don't need to eat. Suddenly all these things that make you human become an exhausting task that you have to be involved in, all the time. There are more, but I want to keep this short.
M. I was around during the holy war. The crusade before crusades. I remember a few angels starting to feel less angelic over time, and it was like a ripple effect amongst the loyal. Suddenly, the side I was on with my brother Michael felt less and less like the winning side, and more like the side you pick when there's no better option. I desired the same freedoms as the other side but I suppose I was too cowardly to take it.
N. No one around me knows my identity. I feel like it's unnecessary to tell anyone. I can never go back to what I was. The best thing I can do is live my life as heavenly as I can in my current life.
O. Funnily enough, I started suspecting i was something more at a very young age. I didn't know quite what. I remember having mental shifts in the church growing up, and having visions about winged creatures when I was around 10. I discovered angels outside of the Bible and for the first time I felt like these things were the best thing I could use to describe myself.
P. Lol. I was hoping this question would come up. O fortuna is at the top of my list. It always gives me chills. Any songs in Latin or slavic-based languages always makes me go into mental shifts.
Q. To feel angelic, I watch movies with angels in them, read books with angels in them, exercise and ride my bike to just feel the wind against my face. I go to the park with a long black coat on and listen to music, and just watch people. Sometimes I talk to them, but not often because I can be quite introverted.
R. See above. I also veil on occasion, especially when I'm around religious buildings or graveyards or when meditating. (I do not pray to the Christian god)
S. I'm not repelled by religious buildings. I'm also not attracted to them. But when I step inside a place that has been cleansed, anointed or used for worship, I can get mental shifts and my vibration raises to the point that I believe that religious figures and children can feel.
T. Good question. Unfortunately I don't know what my halo looked like. I'm assuming it was closer to light than a physical object, maybe light that my divinity gave off. Like a rainbow spectrum or pure white. đ€·ââïž no clue.
U. If I did, I don't remember.
V. Not prophetic dreams, but I've had vivid dreams and nightmares about snakes, naked human beings, violence, starvation and fire. I have had many dreams of what I believe to be pre-flood events on earth, where animosity & disbelief became more rampant between Him and humans.
W. Nope
X. Anywhere that has a beautiful garden. I also like fountains, aquariums, the forest and jungle
Y. Nope
X. I remember being in Europe at some point. I don't know exactly where, I just remember hearing some francophone language being spoken, and there was a lot of political unrest. Unfortunately, the details were never that important to anyone, and as I've mentioned before, I didn't see things the same way as an angel as I do now. My best guess would be middle ages or less. They seemed to be very complicated with the Catholic church back then.
I hope you enjoyed my answers as much as i enjoyed answering them
Angelic Ask Meme
Iâve been meaning to make one of these for a whileâŠsend some to my ask, and feel free to reblog!
A-what is your angelic name? B-what did your wings look like? C-what are you an angel of? D-what order or rank of angel are you? E-did you fall? If so, why? F-describe a random angelic memory G-what element/s do you align with? H-do you remember or follow any gods? I-do you know or suspect why you are earthbound? J-what other angels were you close to? K-an advantage to being an angel on earth? L-a disadvantage to being an angel on earth? M-were you around during the war? If so, what side were you on? N-does anyone irl know youâre an angel? O-how long have you known youâre Angelic? P-what is a song that reminds you of being angelic, or of an angelic memory? Q-what is something you do to feel angelic? R-have anything you wear that makes you feel like your angelic self? S-are you attracted to places of worship, or repelled by them? T-what did your halo look like? U-any angels you had a rivalry with? V-ever have any prophetic dreams, or things like that? W-are you an empath/psychic/medium/etc? X-any places on earth that remind you of home? Y-ever had irl contact with other divines in this life? Z-have any past earthbound life memories?
#angelkin#otherkin#fallen angelkin#alterhuman#angels#divinekin#uttering hymns#lgbtqia#tumblr milestone#demonkin#fallen angel
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A Crown Of Ink : Chapter 9 - Death
summary : maybe it is time for reader to move on from patterns that are now useless and reconsider things
content warnings : some angst, then some comfort, then more angst, then more comfort, some crude language an mentions of harassment
word count : 6.1k
author's note : okay i think i might write my old bg3 requests still sitting in my inbox after this but!!!! im excited to write the next chap
proofread by the lovely @yaffles-world <3
masterlist : here
taglist : @doctorho @6selkie @yunloyal @kryscent @hypocritic-trash-baby @kapitankarate @a-lovers-card @ababanerb @lolixsstuff @forget-me-not-my-dear @smolanchovy @shugar0cone0alt @harrys--ferret-blog @suuummerrr @stillinracooncity @noxturnalmoth @dlbitch @cloufire @csolya @kathyholdsagrudge @furblrwurblr @potatointhedirt @atrocioushaircut @ren-ni @schrodingersraven @urmommt
You had spent your Saturday recovering, not without frustration. It was a waste of time, you thought. You could have taken advantage of a day without any classes or work like that to study and make more progress, but Selene had come to visit you, worried.
She officially met Sky, who had always admired her since her first lessons with her. Selene had come to your bedside, placing a gentle hand on your forehead for a moment, then letting it slide down to your warm cheek. She sighed, familiar with your overworking habits.
She asked Sky about your night, about the prescribed treatment, and Selene couldn't help but exchange a knowing glance with you when Viktor was mentioned, especially for such chivalrous deeds. She smiled a playful âsee, I told you soâ which made you pull your cover over your head in annoyance.
When she left, Sky came back to you, bringing you a chicken broth to restore your health, which she hoped you'd consume to the last drop.
"I'm sorry it had to come to this and calling them, calling him. But..." She sighed, watching you finally eat something with relief. "You were working yourself to death, and with such a pace, you probably wouldn't have been able to pass the exams at all if you'd kept going."
You swallowed your mouthful with difficulty, a small knot of shame and regret tightening it. You'd been so obsessed, so fixated on outdoing yourself and winning back your number one spot from Viktor that you'd become nothing more than an information-gobbling machine.
You didn't even need it, you'd just decided to get ahead on the next year's syllabus in the hope of impressing in the papers and showing your dedication. How could you be so stupid?Â
"Your state was deteriorating visibly..." Sky reflected, looking down at her hands before only meeting your gaze for a moment. "You really scared me, you know."
Your heart split in two. You placed your lunch tray on your bedside table, taking Sky's hands in yours and seeking her gaze despite her bowed head.
"Hey," you murmured in your tired voice as you smiled softly at her when she looked back at you. "You did the right thing, Sky. Without you..." you sighed, thinking back on your stupidity, "I don't know where I'd be right now. This was going to eat me alive until there would be nothing left of me but a white chalk outline on my desk."
She smiled softly, squeezing your hands. Her eyes glistened, her chin trembling slightly as she took off her glasses.
"Oh, Sky..." You pulled her into your arms, holding her close. "I'm sorry."
You couldn't imagine how tired she must have been, seeing you wasting away like that, not listening to her, not hearing her. She had her own revisions, her own things to do, and you had made your problem hers.
You could feel her forehead wrinkling, her hands trembling slightly around you as she twitched.
Since when did you become such an important part of someone's life that they cared that much about you?
What would have happened if, for one more year, you'd never had a flatmate? And if that flatmate hadn't been Sky, would she have had even an ounce of patience like your friend?
You'd fucked up and nearly gone off the deep end, and Sky had done everything she could to avoid it.
"I promise you to never do that again," you vowed, pulling away from her to run your thumb over her cheek and wipe away the tears. "Please, don't cry on me. Cry on... I don't know, Heimerdinger's hairstylist."
Don't cry for me, I'm not worth a waste of tears, not yours.
She laughed nervously, her eyes going to the ceiling. "I don't know why I'm crying, really, this is..." she sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, "this is stupid."
"No, it's not," you smiled, "It's good to cry."
She raised her eyebrows, wiggling her nose and shrugging. "Well, you never do."
"That's because I sold my lacrimal glands," you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood by joking.
And it worked - she laughed, the sadness slowly evaporating from her face. "So you have no tears, but you still have your heart, right ?"
You closed your fist, banging it against your chest. "It's a dusty engine, but it does its work."
"Well," she stood up, "I hope it can still feel something."
You observed her for a moment, picking up a saucepan and filling it with water. No doubt to make coffee, or at least tea to ward off your addiction and prevent your mechanical heart from overheating under the caffeine. No amount of Piltovian gold could offer you anything like Sky's sweetness.
"My heart's full of room for the very few friends I have." You picked up your bowl of broth again, its warmth cupped against your fingers. "Its aorta is named after you."
She turned to you, smiling, her eyes filling again with tears as she breathed in.Â
"You can't just say things like that and not expect me to ruin a box of these," she described movements in the air with her hands in ridiculous, exagerated swirls, "silk-soft tissues they have here."
"Their toilet paper is so thick and soft it feels like we're using pillows," you sneered before blowing on the bouillon.
"Right?!" Sky exclaimed, "It's only been like, a month and a half since I've been here and it all feels so fancy. Everything is so... clean."
"I know!" You laughed, "It's infuriating. The streets barely have a scratch, the buildings have colours straight out of a kid's colouring book, and they have trees."
She sighed, visualising the vegetation the city had before her eyes fell back on yours. "You never get used to it, right?"
You swallowed your mouthful of broth, pressing your lips into a thin line. "Never."
She leaned back against the worktop, watching you for a moment. "Seriously though." She tilted her head to one side. "Don't ever do that again."
You smiled, bringing your forefinger and thumb to your ear and pressing on the lobe.Â
It was a custom in Zaun to pledge your word. In the Undercity, you pressed your lobe as if you were piercing it, to imaginatively seal in the skin a ring other than the one on your finger. However, everyone knows that if you pull too hard on a piercing, you can tear the flesh, and find it difficult to retie the skin so that it can be pierced again. So the promise was made with a symbolic ring, anchored in the skin, that the promise would be kept.
"May my flesh tear apart if, by misfortune, I betrayed," you recited.
During the rest of the last week of classes before the exams, you resumed a much more normal revision routine than the original, much to Sky's delight. You'd revise with her in the afternoons outside class, asking each other questions about the subjects you shared while you were trying not to die laughing from the stupid ways you looked with your facemasks during skincare time.
When Friday came around, you decided to go to the library again. Unconsciously, it had become a ritual. With Viktor or without, you intended to surround yourself with knowledge as immense as possible.
You went and sat down at a table, alone, while many students who had come for the same reason were already crowding most of the available ones. You took out your things, rereading your index cards for the umpteenth time until you were almost ready to recite them by heart if the need arose.
You couldn't help but lose concentration when you heard your name spoken in the distance, coming from voices that werenât familiar to you, further behind your back.
"And to say Viktor got put with her on Heimerdinger's subject," one said, chuckling.
"I wonder which of them pulls their hair out more in each other's company."
You tried not to think about it, but since, for once, the conversation wasn't all about the walking street lamp, you couldn't help but let your ears hang close to their mouths.
"Did you see her the other day? A vision of the apocalypse. Hollow cheeks and dead eyes like she hadn't eaten in a month."
"Gotta have hollow cheeks to suck the teachers better," her classmate sneered.
Your jaw tightened, trying to ignore their remarks. This wasn't your first time hearing such things - the previous two years hadn't been as gentle as this one, even if Viktor had caused a few problems with his arrival.
"Can you believe what she did to Tyler?"
"She's an animal." They both laughed, causing you to sink back into your chair.
"How do you think Viktor handles her?"
"He doesn't, she's just a handicap to him and he seems to have an embarrassing enough one as it is."
You inhaled. Someone will probably tell them to be quiet so as not to disturb the peace of the library. You hoped.
"Who's a handicap?"
Your eyes widened as you suddenly turned around. Viktor was standing there, facing them, both students suddenly looking very confused and ashamed.
"Viktor," one of them laughed nervously, "this was just a joke, she..."
But the student didn't have time to come up with an excuse. Viktor raised an eyebrow before speaking.
"She's an incredible person who no one can defeat," he informed them, the latter two lowering their eyes on their notes suddenly invested in their revisions. "Except me."
He punctuated his sentence, turning away from them and meeting your gaze. He seemed surprised, not expecting to find you there, at least not doing nothing when such needlessly cruel nonsense was uttered in your name.
Inevitably, of course, he moved towards you.
Except me. The phrase made you roll your eyes for a moment before you tried to read information from your notes that hadn't needed reading for a long time.Â
He sat down opposite you, keeping his hand on the pommel of his cane. "Your name seems to be on everyone's lips, Miss."
"What can I say," you sighed, "the obsession they have for me is an undying addiction."
However, Viktor didn't seem amused at all.
"Why do you let them say such things about you without lifting a finger?"
You bit the inside of your lip, feeling the pressure of his gaze on you as your eyes scanned uselessly over your revision sheets.Â
"It's not the first time I've heard that kind of comment about me," you confirmed without much interest, "I'll survive it."
"So you spend most of your time worrying about the injustices other people experience but you push your own under a doormat?" Viktor summed up, not seeming genuinely thrilled at the idea.
"If I could push the injustice that Tyler is by his very existence off the face of this world, I'd be stepping on some rich blonde aristocrat every time I left and returned from home."
But Viktor still wasn't laughing, far from it. When your eyes finally met his, they were dark.
He sighed. "Are you trying to punish yourself for something by neglecting yourself so much?"
I'd like to forget more than anything else in the world. The thought was taking over your soul, eating away at you like a gangrene with an insatiable hunger.
"Of course," you chuckled, exaggerating a falsely happy tone.
"Stop this." His tone was firm.
"Stop what?" you questioned.
"Trying to make something funny out of this."
You frowned, raising an eyebrow. "What? You're not feeling in the mood for our ritual chit chats?"
"Do I look like I'm joking around right now?"
His eyes had the same gleam, carried the same weight as when he'd held you in place in your bed just a week ago. You almost gulped, speechless. Why was he reacting like that? Why was he worried about you?
You lowered your eyes, licking your lips as you returned to your notes.
"Fine," you admitted, dropping your sarcastic tone. "I guess I owe you for saving my life, anyway."
It didn't sound like it, but it was probably the closest you'd come to a âthank youâ for him so far. He seemed surprised that you were finally cooperating in the conversation, that you were at last sending him a very subliminal magic word.
His shoulders slumped, as if the idea of being angry with you was stupid.
"How are you feeling?" He finally asked.
"I'm no longer sick, if that's the question you meant to ask."
"It was, but also," he brought his cane up between his legs, clasping both hands on the pommel as he came to rest his chin on it, "I just wanted to know how you are doing."
Why are you doing this? You were thinking back over the last few weeks. His questions during the power cut, the attention he'd paid to you, staying awake all night by your side to make sure you were taking your medication properly, and now...
"Well," you swallowed, these thoughts unsettling you for a moment and sending a foreign warmth into your belly, "the exams are approaching and I think you've had quite the close look on their effect on me so... yeah."
He considered you, tilting his head to the side until his cheek was the one pressed against the back of his hands. He scanned you, his gaze sending a warm wind up your spine.
"You're still on the treatment, right?"
The horrible powder you had to mix in a glass at least twice a day wasn't the moment you were looking forward to most in your daily routine, but you did it anyway, under Sky's sharp eyes.
You remained silent, just to see how Viktor would react and whether, as he had dictated, he would make sure you stayed in bed no matter what.
Faced with your silence, he raised an eyebrow as he straightened up, finally wrinkling his forehead as he frowned.
"Right?" he repeated, almost menacingly.
"Relax." A nervous chuckle escaped you. "Yes, I'm taking it."
He sighed in relief at the news, while you shook your head in confusion.
"You're putting all this effort... for me? Why"
The phrase sounded alien in your mouth, as if you weren't worth the time or energy of such dedication. He gazed at you for a moment, his eyes roving over your index cards.
"You know why."
"Because you can't have your best rival go against you while she's sick?" you recited.
"Because I don't want to be your rival."
You found this answer profoundly absurd.
"What do you mean-" But he cut you off, annoyed.
"What do you want, hmm? To become Heimerdinger's assistant?"
Of course, you thought, but the way Viktor had said it sounded... easy, too easy. Or at least, too easy for you.
"I don't intend to be his assistant, and I'm going to tell you why."
He stood up, walking around the table until he was beside you and leaning in slightly.
"Because I've already been his assistant, and I stopped."
The words echoed inside you, like the cracking of something you thought was indestructible. Your lips parted in shock, watching him with huge eyes as he straightened up.
"In any case. I wanted to make sure that you'd be back in good shape." He began to walk towards the library exit, turning one last time to give you a playful look. "And now that I'm sure you'll be in full shape, I know I don't need to hold back, hm, rival?"
He turned away, heading for the big door, leaving you with a short-circuited brain. What did he mean by "already been"? What did he mean he had stopped? How had Viktor ever been Heimerdinger's assistant?
When the sentence finally reached your mind after a long travel from your ears, you gathered your things in a flash as the questions began to fly and you almost ran to catch up with him. You caught up with him in the corridors, under the astonished gazes of all the students.
"What?" you asked, out of breath from the sudden exertion and the gust of wind the news had knocked from your chest.
He turned to you, slightly surprised that you'd practically chased after him. He'd probably expected you to sit at your table, mulling things over until the questions got too much for you and you decided to come and see him after a day or two of mental torment.
"You've been Heimerdinger's assistant?" you repeated, adjusting the strap of your satchel on your shoulder.
He shrugged, turning away from you. "Yes."
Was he really just going to leave like that? Leaving you in agony for answers you wanted more than anything? No, it wasn't going to be like that.
You grabbed his wrist, much to his surprise, and pulled him with you into an empty adjoining corridor. Once you were out of sight, checking from one end of the corridor to the other to see if anyone was there, you finally regained his gaze.
There was something in his eyes, like a hint of something that kept his lips parted until they closed and his eyes lowered to your hand still gripping his wrist.
You let go, the heat of shame spreading across your neck and cheeks for a moment as you took a step away, crossing your arms over your chest.
"When were you his assistant?"
He leaned against the wall, sighing as he stared at you.
"You do remember Jayce's trial, don't you?"
How could you forget? You hadn't been present at the trial. Selene had invited you to come as it concerned your friend, but you were too afraid of the aristocratic eyes and the pressure they would put on you.
The story remained vague. Due to special circumstances that remained under the security and secrecy of the administration as to the extent of Jayce's activities, he had been allowed to stay at the academy.
"Yes."
"By then, I had already been Heimerdingerâs assistant for a month.."
You now were certain you'd never seen him before. It was just one month into your summer holidays, and you had gone to Zaun to find Eris. Your chances of running into him were almost nil, no doubt about it.
"How did you get to become his assistant?" you quizzed.
He shrugged, and that simple movement made you want to scream. "I suppose he must have liked my assiduity enough to take me on. That and the fact that, with his little legs, I was bound to walk at his pace," he joked.
You held your breath in your lungs for a moment, before releasing it. He didn't seem to be lying, at least about the only serious part of his sentence. He was undoubtedly the best choice for Heimerdinger in any case.
However, it seemed to you that it wasn't so much exasperation that you were feeling - you were trying to understand what the feeling was... a relief, but not really about the fact that the assistant's place was free, no, a relief about Viktor that you couldn't really place at the moment.
"Why did you stop?" There was no longer any frustration in your voice, just a new-found curiosity.
Viktor seemed taken aback by your new intonation, straightening slightly against the wall. "It didn't interest me anymore."
What could he have found that was better? The thought, at last, that Viktor's aim was not to be an assistant for the rest of his life, crept into your mind. Viktor seemed to pick up on it.
"See? I told you we didn't have the same goal."
You finally realised what that feeling of relief was: you didn't have to hate him any more. You no longer had a reason to try to outdo him, no longer had a valid justification for becoming number one again. But why was it such a relief? There was rarely anything more gratuitous than hatred in what you knew, and it should have been the same for Viktor, so why was it such a relief not to have to hate him any more?
Hating him served no purpose, no motivation. It was useless, and what do you do with useless things?
You took half a step towards him.
"The truce you suggested, have you come up with any clauses?"
His eyebrows rose, his eyes widened. He lifted himself off the wall.
"Um no-" he began, but you cut him off.
"Find some, and I'll consider them."
And with that, you took off, leaving Viktor speechless.Â
You moved quickly, trying to get home as fast as possible. You were afraid that the street air, so pure and fresh, would wash away your conclusions and fuel a hatred that no longer had any reason to exist.
But you didn't go home straight away, making a diversion to Emeline's shop. As soon as you entered her shop, she didn't hesitate to jump on your neck and give you a hug.
"My little lamb," she enthused as she squeezed you until your ribs broke before cupping your face as if to examine you, "are you feeling better? You gave me quite a fright, you know! When your friend came to visit me and told me you were ill I nearly closed up shop to come and see you myself."
"Everything's fine," you laughed, squeezing her arms, "I've almost completely recovered!"
You'd decided that, after your chat with Viktor and all the effort you'd put into your revision, you deserved a little something to comfort you.
After a little chat with Emeline, she packed two pastries, one for you and one for Sky. Of course, she didn't forget to fill you up with an extra small packet of sweets that would have gone unsold during the day.
When you returned home, you greeted Sky with a smile and raised the two bags of treats to your head. She smiled in surprise.
"To what do we owe this feast?" she asked.
You shrugged. "Let's just say I've made resolutions for the better."
You'd been laughing all evening, stuffing your faces with these delicacies as you both took a well-deserved break from studying.
Your eyes turned to your tarot deck, you'd forgotten to draw any cards lately due to your revisions, so after wiping your hands full of sugar, you took the pack in hand.
âI see you pulling one almost every morning,â Sky remarked, lying on her stomach on your bed while you were cross-legged. âWhy do you do that?â
You pulled out your cards in your hands. âTo have a leitmotif to follow during the day. Although to be quite honest I don't follow their advice every time.â
She laughed softly, knowing by now your stubbornness like no other. âThat doesn't surprise me at all.â
âYeah well,â you smiled in turn as you shuffled the cards, âsome of them are not the best cards to wake up on to in the morning.â
So you cut your deck as usual, and looked at its underside. You raised your eyebrows.
âJust like this one.â
You showed Sky the card: Death.
She winced, her eyebrows furrowing as her mouth formed as if she were pronouncing the letter x.
âOkay, I get it,â she said, shaking her head. âIs it literal? I hope not, right?â
âNah it's pretty safe.â You laughed. âThe description of its meaning is in the little booklet.â You pointed to it with your chin, and Sky grabbed it, flipping through until she found the Death page.
âTransition. Underworld. Flux. Occultism. Letting go. Evolution requiring liberation. Metaphorical death.â She read. âOff to a great start apparently.â
You chuckled, observing the card as she continued reading. âDeath moves across a field with a slow, steady march. A king lies dead. He represents the old systems of order cast aside. A bishop begs for mercy, a young girl turns away in fear and only a curious little girl looks up to greet death. She has not been taught to fear it.â
Your thumb passed over the little girl's drawing, your heart clenching.Â
âA ship sails away, heedless of death's march. A sun rises between two towers to reflect resurrection and new beginnings. All endings give way to new possibilities. Transformation leads to renewal and growth.â She raised her eyebrows. âAin't as bad as I thought it would be.â
âYeah,â you considered, thinking back on your day and the fact that the cards were pointing you in the right direction, âindeed.â
Exam week was over. You'd had absolutely no trouble at all with any of the exercises. All the subjects were in the bag and you were finishing virtually ahead of schedule in every exam room.
Today was the day of results. The teachers had spent the weekend correcting everything, and the results boards had finally been displayed.
You woke up feeling lighter than you thought you would. Since realizing that there was no longer any point in chasing Viktor to victory, you'd relaxed.
You went down the hall with Sky, passing the student mailboxes for a moment so you could check if either of you had received anything.
You opened the metal door to a single letter, sealed with a metallic black wax seal you knew all too well: Eris.
You took the key to your apartment, using its teeth to open the envelope and take out the letter, which you brought to your nose.
Her letters always smelled of the essential oils and herbs that constantly appeased you. Without further ado, you unfolded the paper and read its contents.
My sweet friend,
I thought you were a lost cause in friendship, but I guess this year the wheel is really turning on your side. I'm delighted, and I imagine the same goes for Selene. I'd love to meet her, that Sky, she sounds absolutely charming. I'm guessing, though, that the day with your Five of Wands must have been no picnic, especially if - from what I understand - Emperor Viktor is to blame. But I'm sure that the Immeasurable Grandeur of the Prestigious Piltover Academy will crown your success.
You giggled to yourself as your eyes passed over the elegant, forced curves that Eris had taken care to add in response to your own inky bows.
I miss you so much. You know how the days are here in Zaun; I open, sell and consult, and close in the evening before any trouble starts. I'm paid with golden trinkets, new flowers to dry and other plants from other regions. I have managed to get some new customers, though, and not the least important ones. Renata Glasc herself has been to my shop.
You'd already heard of Renata Glasc, an ambitious woman who was growing in influence on the streets of Zaun. She wasn't a Chem Baroness, but at the rate she was going, it looked like she was well on her way to becoming one.
In fact, it's through her that I'm hearing about worrying things here. Common for Zaun, you may say, but I can't help thinking the worst. I'll tell you about it myself when we meet. I'm planning to come here around December 23, so let's meet at the usual bridge at three o'clock. I'll be staying with you for a few days. I can't tell you more. But I've lit a candle for you, wishing you success and good health.
I look forward to seeing you again, my dearest trouble,
Eris.
What could she possibly be worried about? The situation was invariably complicated in Zaun, but what could it be that she was worried about?
You carefully tucked the letter into your bag, heading out to the shuttle stop.
âNot too stressed?â Sky asked.
You huffed, a cloud of warmth rising into the air. The cold had been gaining in intensity for over a week, and all the students at the academy had donned their scarves.
âNo.â you replied, confident. âYou?â
âA bit,â she admitted, her breath trembling slightly.
âHey,â you pressed your shoulder against hers as she turned to face you, âyou've got this. I know you do.â
She nodded, smiling at you as the shuttle arrived. The journey was swift, some students over-excited at the prospect of their results, others apprehensive about what was to come.
As you arrived at the golden gates of the academy, you noticed that neither Viktor nor Jayce were in sight. Perhaps they had decided to go to the academy later?
The group of students walked up to the scoreboards, an army of others already huddled in front of them.
Sky went in search of her name, while you breathed in, waiting for other students to pass before you.
You didn't know what awaited you at the top of the board, which name would be at the head. Did it still matter? Yes, it probably did, or it didn't. Did you want it to matter? Probably not. But did your mind keep wandering? Endlessly.
What if Viktor was still number one - would you be disappointed? What if you were number one - would you be satisfied? And if neither he nor you were number one, would you be revolted?
âLook who it is!â
That voice alone was enough to make you frown, raise your eyebrows and lower your eyelids in boredom.
Tyler.
You turned to him for a moment, him seeming pleased that you responded to his voice as you rolled your eyes and sighed.
âWhat do you want, blondie? Searching for a new name on the boards to torment?â
He chuckled, stepping toward you. âYou don't change a winning team, darling. Have you found your place at the very bottom of the ranking?â
It was your turn to chuckle, turning to face him. He had no idea about your academic results, it seemed.Â
âTyler you have as many neurons as you have eyes, and they're both fighting for any kind of connection.â You turned to the bulletin board, stepping forward slightly. âDo them mercy and close your eyelids for all eternity before we have to deal with a rain of fire and the horsemen and...â
But you didn't even finish your sentence, the words dying on your lips as your eyes came to rest on your name.
First place.
You were back in first place. Eyes and mouth wide open, you kept blinking to make sure your vision wasn't failing you. And the name underneath...Â
Viktor.
Your scores were almost equal, yours barely beating him.
âTold you I wasn't going to hold back.â
You turned towards the voice, the tinkle you now knew too well of his cane echoing on the floor. He stood there, serene, a small smile on his face before his lips pressed into an inverted grin and his eyebrows raised.
âYou fight well, Miss.â
You couldn't help it - you cracked a smile at him. And Viktor seemed astonished, as if he'd never seen such a thing happen. No stupid remark, no pettiness behind your drawn lips, just sincere amusement and joy.
âWhat the...â Tyler's voice died in his throat as he took in the bulletin boards, turning to you. âHow did you...â
You turned to him, his sole presence now not even enough to ruin your happiness and relief. âAs if you could reach me,â you replied with a triumphant smile, walking out of the crowd to join Viktor.
Once you got away from all this tumult, he nodded. âYou got first,â he remarked, âcongratulations.â
You observed him for a second, his posture reflecting a sort of disappointment. Was it from losing? Or was it from the fact you seemed so happy in your rivalry with him? You sighed, rolling your eyes.
âQuit it,â you pronounced with a smile, shaking your head slightly. âWe share this crown, and you perfectly know that.â
He said nothing, just gazing at you for a moment. There was this gleam, the tickling of a smile ready to be born on his lips as the satisfaction that, maybe, these ink duels you were both fencing would wash away and let something different be born from them.Â
He was apprehensive about saying something, but Jayce came towards you both.
âAh, Jayce, exams went well?â You asked, knowing without a doubt that he didn't have to worry about his results.
âOh yeah, perfect.â He nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line, his eyes darting from yours to Viktor's, surprised that you weren't quarrelling. âSay, hum... can I talk to you guys for a minute?âÂ
Viktor and you exchanged a confused look, before ultimately following him.
âA masquerade?â you repeated, as if the word had never grazed your lips before.
Jayce had brought you to a room in the Academy where you could all talk without hearing the multiple cries of students as to their result. And considering what he had to discuss with you, he'd done the right thing.
âIt's this thing Mel is invited to,â he explained nervously. âAll the people of high aristocracy will be there, counselors, lords and ladies... Please, can you both accompany me to it?â
âAs your dance partners?â joked Viktor, frowning.
âNo, Mel's already my partner. But, she said that there would be no opposition for you both to come as well. You're the,â he seemed to search for words for a moment, âcroom dĂ© la cram?â
âCrĂȘme de la crĂȘme?â you suggested.
He pointed at you, glad you understood. âYeah, that. La crĂȘme de la crĂȘme of the Academy. Such prestigious students as the both of you sharing the top of the board deserve to be in such an event.â
âSo you want us,â you pointed repeatedly between Viktor and yourself, âto come to this event because you're too nervous to go there by yourself?â
The interested party scratched the back of his neck, sniffling before looking at you both with puppy-dog eyes. âYeah?â
âAren't you supposed to have a partner to come to a masquerade?â Interrogated Viktor.
âI thought you two could... go together?â
You chuckled, your mouth hanging open. You exchanged a bewildered look with Viktor, who didn't seem to be too upset by the concept.
âYou're joking, right?â you asked.
âPlease just-â he didn't finish his sentence, âput your bickering aside for one evening. You don't even have to show up together if it suits you better.â
âI don't see any problems with it,â Viktor shrugged, indifferent. âWhen is it?â
"Tomorrow night."
âTomorrow night?â You exclaimed. âJayce, if it's a society gala, I've got nothing to wear.â
He reached into his own wallet, pulled out some bills and handed them to you.
âHere, I'm sure you'll find something convenient with this.â
âJayce,â you remarked, looking at the fresh bills, âwhat the hell.â
âThis is not much for you to get a decent gown for the gala. Keep the rest, if there is any, to get some fancy accessories.â He grabbed your hand, placing the cash in it. âTruly, this is the least I can do.â
You knew Jayce's patrons were the Kirammanâs, but to have money to give away like this? Since when was that the case?
âVik, I think it's time for us to go.â Jayce finally remarked before leaving the room, leaving the two of you.
You both stayed in silence for a moment, both digesting the information that had just been given to you.
âWhat a way to celebrate your victory,â Viktor finally sighed.
âI've seen worse celebrations than a masquerade,â you remarked, observing the tickets for a moment before folding them up, âbut I think I've had better experiences than being in a room with nobility sipping glasses of champagne with petty innuendo in every exchange.â
He huffed in turn. âI suppose the next area in which we must excel in no time is the art of conversation in high society. Although, considering our usual conversation,â he leaned his head to the side with a smirk, "we'll fit right in."
âHow exciting,â you raised your eyebrows sarcastically, letting silence take its rule back on the room before you finally decided to break it. âGuess I better go and find myself something to wear. See you tomorrow, Viktor.âÂ
âWait,â he called to you, seeming hesitant about what he was going to suggest, âwould you like us to get together first and go? Or...â
âLet's meet directly at the party,â you assured him.
He nodded, his lips pressing in a thin line as you turned away. âOh and...â you turned back to him at his words, his eyes piercing. âDon't forget the mask.â
You nodded, leaving the room.
You had today and tomorrow to find an outfit, and get used to the fact that Viktor was no longer a threat to be eliminated. Easier said than done.Â
But still⊠What a way to celebrate a rebirth.
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#a crown of ink#acoi#arcane#arcane viktor#viktor arcane#viktor#arcane viktor x reader#viktor arcane x reader#viktor x reader#viktor x you#viktor fic#viktor fanfic#arcane fanfic#arcane x reader
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Finnick Odair x fem!victor!reader who are constantly introduced to each other [1.2k words]
CW: people trying to introduce Finnick and reader, Capitol behaviours (body modification, eating-purging-eating, no sense of propriety), fluff, a surprise
Youâd come to expect a lot of things to happen when attending a party in the Capitol.
There would be people dressed to varying levels of near insanity. There would be people literally eating until they were sick, then forcing themselves to be sick so that they could continue eating. There would be people approaching you, asking you questions, and running their hands over your clothes or hair or jewelry or body as though having seen the most traumatic moments of your life aired on TV from the safety of their homes made you friends.
And there would always be people trying to introduce you to or set you up with their favourite victor; the Capitolâs darling.
âThere you are, darling!â A rather reptilian looking woman you knew to go by Komoda greeted you as she approached; arm aggressively interlocked with anotherâs who didnât appear to be all that willing to be there. âThereâs someone Iâd like to introduce you to.â
You plastered on your show time smile and offered your hand to Capitol Darling Finnick Odair who accepted it readily, bowing his head slightly as he met your gaze.
âLovely evening, isnât it?â
âIt always is in the Capitol.â You volleyed, smiling back over to the Capitol citizen who seemed very excited to be seeing two of her favourite victors intermingling. âFinnick and I have met a few times, actually.â
Komoda seemed rather bemused at the fact that the two of you had met and not immediately jumped each other's bones. âOh⊠oh! Really?â
You hummed in the affirmative.
âEvery year when we mentor new tributes.â Finnick explained.
Komoda tried to laugh. âWell, I just think that the two of you would get on rather well.â
âWe get on fine.â You continued, feigning ignorance.
âThe two of you would make a very handsome couple!â One of her friendâs chimed in, earning him nods of approval from the quickly forming group of spectators.
âWell, looks arenât everything, are they?â You tried, and a few of the moreâŠaltered individuals seemed rather perplexed at the thought. âThe two of us might not have anything in common.â
âThatâs very true.â Finnick agreed. âLetâs see; how do you feel about the beach?â
âToo much sand; Iâm shaking it out of everything I own for far too long afterwards. Whatâs your favourite pastime?â
âSwimming.â He answered.
âI never learned how.â You continued with pursed lips. âLeast favourite season?â
âWinter. Whatâs your favourite holiday?â
âChristmas.â
Finnick hummed in displeasure before continuing. âFavourite animal?â
âCats. Yours?â
âDogs.â
You hummed in displeasure. âHow do you feel about white chocolate?â
âLove it.â He replied easily; you scrunched your nose at him before he carried on. âWhatâs a dealbreaker for you?â
âPeople who like white chocolate.â
He pressed his lips into a flat line and nodded his head in understanding. âVery fair.â
You looked back over at Komoda and her friends to see them all gaping at the two of you.
âSorry to disappoint, folks.â Finnick apologized with a shrug of his shoulder. âItâs apparently just not meant to be.â
âButâŠâ Komoda started, looking rather crestfallen. âIâŠI was so sure!â
âYouâre not the first to try to set us up.â You placated, placing a gentle hand over the scale-like jewels on the shoulder of her gown. âYou probably wonât be the last, either.â
âMaybe the 29th time will be the charm, hm?â Finnick offered you with a wink, causing you to roll your eyes at him.
âDonât hold your breath, Odair.â
âI can hold my breath for a very long time, sweetheart; Iâm a world class swimmer, afterall.â
âOh, youâre something alright.â You laughed as you turned to walk away, deciding then to begin your rounds of goodbyes before heading back to your suite.
You held the towel to your face for a few seconds, just taking a moment to breathe and enjoy the quiet, warmth, and serenity of your post-party ritual.
You were just about to pull the towel away when you felt gentle hands slide around your waist before you were being embraced between two strong arms.
âLong night?â He murmured into your shoulder before pressing a kiss to it.
You hummed in agreement and pulled the towel away from your face, smiling at Finnick in the reflection of the mirror.
âIt always is in the Capitol.â You replied.
He offered you a knowing smile before pressing another kiss to your shoulder.
âMissed you.â He said before reaching around you to grab some makeup wipes to begin removing the work his own stylists put into his appearance tonight. âAnything interesting happen?â
You hummed noncommittally as you smoothed cream over your skin. âNot really. Someone tried setting me up with this guy again.â
âReally?â Finnick asked, feigning intrigue. âWas it a match made in heaven?â
You made a so-so sound. âHe was pretty cute,â you allowed, âbut I donât know if it would work.â
âNo?â
âNo. I mean, for one, he didnât start drooling the second he saw me. Huge red flag I think.â
With that, Finnick theatrically slammed his hand down on the countertop and levelled you with a disbelieving look. âYou mean to tell me that he didnât immediately fall to his knees in worship?â
âNo!â
Finnick shook his head; simply aghast. âYou can do so much better, honey.â
Your smile turned soft as you watched him lather some of his face wash between his hands before bringing them to his face. âI think so too.â
By the time he was done with washing his face, you were sitting on the counter with Finnick standing between your legs as you massaged some moisturizer into his skin.
âThey donât know what you deserve anyway.â Finnick states suddenly.
Your brows scrunched in confusion. âWho doesnât?â
âThe Capitol people; they donât know what kind of partner you deserve.â
You stayed quiet as you finished working the product into his skin, pressing a kiss to his lips to alert him to the fact that you were finished. You felt rather shy when he opened his eyes and you found yourself pinned beneath his sea green gaze.
âTheyâd be sorely mistaken if they thought Capitol Darling Finnick Odair was all you deserved.â
You smiled softly at him before pressing another softer, lingering kiss to his lips.
âIâm rather fond of this Finnick Odair.â
You relished in the slight pink dusting of his cheeks as his smile grew wider before he pulled you in, cradling you to his chest.
Youâd come to expect a lot of things to happen when attending a party in the Capitol.
It would take your stylists three hours to prep you for the party. It would take you forty minutes to disassemble yourself after the party. The outfits and jewelry you wore would cost more than most District families saw in years.
And there would always be people trying to introduce you to or set you up with their favourite victor; the Capitolâs darling.
The best part was that no one knew you and Finnick Odair have actually been dating behind closed doors for four years now.
#the hunger games#thg fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#thg#finnick odair#finnick odair x reader#finnick odair x you#finnick x reader#finnick x you#finnick odair fanfic#finnick odair fic#finnick odair fluff#finnick odair blurb#finnick odair ficlet#finnick odair drabble#finnick odair imagine#ellecdc fics
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Dear Santa
⧠Logan Howlett x female!reader x Wade Wilson
⧠summary: Your best friend and roommate Wade is a little lonely over the holidays, third-wheeling with you and Logan the entire time. But the holidays are all about giving, so you and Logan decide to fulfil some of the more sexual wishes on Wadeâs wishlist. Or: You have a threesome with Logan and Wade.
⧠warnings: smut 18+ (oral sex, piv sex, cum eating, frotting kinda, liittle bit of ass eating (f rec); deffffinitely attraction between Wade and Logan but the focus is on the reader), Christmas mention (just for the seasonal vibes, not the religion obv. wanted to make it neutral originally but sorry I needed Christmas vibes specifically!!), this is my first time writing Wade beyond a few lines, idk if I did him justice but either way this was so fun to write!
gorgeous dividers by @dollywons <3
⧠word count: 4.7k
Wade Wilson likes to flirt. Thatâs no secret.Â
But heâs been even more flirty recently, in the weeks leading up to the winter holidays. In fact, heâs been so flirty that you had to check in with your boyfriend Logan to make sure that he doesnât mind.Â
And no, Logan doesnât mind. If anything, he enjoys watching how Wade makes you squirm with the sexual remarks that you have to pretend are below your level but you actually quite enjoy.Â
It started when you bought yourself some cute Christmas pyjamas, pink and with a cheesy pattern on them.Â
âYou look so cute, I could just eat you out,â Wade said as soon as he saw you in it.Â
You sat down between him and Logan on the sofa, ready for your first December movie night, and you shared an unsure look with your boyfriend.Â
âDonât you mean you could just eat her up?â Logan asked, an eyebrow raised.Â
Wade considered it for a moment. âHmm, no. I said the right thing.â
You spent the rest of the night flustered, leaning into Logan and hiding your face in his neck as deeply as you could.Â
-
The next time it happens is when you get out of the car after buying some festive decorations for your shared apartment with Wade.Â
Youâre getting the shopping bags from the back when you notice him still in the driverâs seat, leaning over to inspect the place you were just sitting.Â
âWhat are you doing?â you ask Wade, cheeks heating up.Â
âI was just checking if you were sitting in a pile of sugar, cause that ass is looking sweet.â
-
âYou know why they call me Wilson?â he asks you over breakfast one time.Â
âBecause thatâs your last name?â
âNo, because I will soon be between your legs.â
You take a bite of your food, humming, âThat one still needs some work.â
Wade nods, âI know, still experimenting on the execution. Thanks for the feedback.â
-
âDoes my tongue taste funny to you?â
You roll your eyes at Wade. âEw.â
âNo, I mean it, I think Iâm having an allergic reaction. Can you at least look at it?â
âOh!â you hurry towards him.Â
-
âYou know, baby angel,â he tells you one afternoon, âI think youâre the only one who can still be on Santaâs nice list despite being so naughty.â
Your eyebrows inch closer together, âHow am I naughty?â
âYour bedroom is right next to mine, Miss likes-being-spanked.â
âOhâŠâ is all you manage to say.Â
âBut from what I hear in there you are a good girl, so that checks out with Santaâs nice list.â
-
Itâs not strange per se that heâs acting this way, but it still makes more sense when you find Wadeâs Christmas wishlist.Â
Youâre in his bedroom to get back a hoodie of yours that he borrowed âbecause it smells like youâ and he wanted to cuddle it while he sleeps. He said it so sweetly that you couldnât say no, though you hope cuddling is really all he did to it.Â
You find the piece of paper jammed between the bedframe and the mattress, and it only catches your eye because of the messy âDear Santaâ scribbled at the top.Â
Wade is always graphic, but reading his wishlist still makes a tingle run up your spine. All thatâs on the list is things he wants to do with you and to you, all of sexual nature, of course. Logan is involved too.Â
You read Wadeâs wishes and get giddy, running to your bedroom to show Logan.Â
Youâve been struggling to find a meaningful Christmas gift for Wade, so this is going to be perfect. Now all you have to do is wait for the next horny joke â and youâre sure that wonât be long.
-
Itâs Christmas Eve and you and Logan are watching some show when Wade comes in. Itâs toasty warm, the fairy lights reflecting on the tv screen during every dark scene. Youâre sitting between Loganâs spread legs with your back against his chest.
Wade sits down next to you two, eyes glued to your legs, bare underneath an oversized graphic t-shirt. You give him a minute before he says something.
His words come three seconds later.
âIf your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?â
You lean to the side to glance up at Logan, who gives you a subtle nod. You settle back against his chest, âSure.â
âWait, what?â Wadeâs jaw drops.
You giggle, humouring him, âWhat do you wanna do when you visit me between the holidays?â
He scrambles for an answer, still surprised at your words, âSince Logan is my little honey badger,â your boyfriend huffs from behind you, âand honey badgers are named after their favourite food, I wanna know if your honey is as sweet as Iâve imagined.â
You laugh but Logan grumbles, âIf you wanna eat her pussy, just say that.â
Wade rolls his eyes, holding a hand to the side of his mouth, âHoney badgers are no fun,â he says to you, âBut yes, I wanna eat your pussy.â
âOkay,â you say, smiling.
His eyes light up. âOkay? Like, youâre giving me your consent okay?âÂ
âYes, Wade,â you giggle, watching him fall to his knees in front of the sofa as he gently pushes your legs apart. His fingers against your skin immediately make you feel warm.
Before Wade can get to your panties, Logan reaches around from behind you and pulls the hem of your shirt down, blocking Wadeâs view. âAh,â he chides, âNo fucking manners. You kiss her first before you get between her legs.â
Wade doesnât have to be told twice.
Your lips meet with a fervour exactly like you would expect from Wade. You figured heâs been lonely the last few weeks, single and alone while you and Logan are still in the honeymoon phase. Youâre glad to provide some love for Wade. He deserves it.
While Wade almost bites your face off, Loganâs hands find your hips, gently circling the skin there, and you can practically feel the heat from your underwear radiating in the little space between you.
Logan knows your body so well by now that he can tell immediately when youâre getting needy. He reaches around you, taking hold of Wadeâs jaw, interrupting the kiss.
âNow,â Logan commands.
âDonât boss me around, the only one who can boss me around is this little thing,â Wadeâs hand trails up your knee. You giggle, trying to suppress the moan you want to let out.
You spread your legs for Wade as he gets back on the carpeted floor, hands smoothing up your legs, playing with the hem of your panties. You want to tell him to stop teasing, the butterflies in your stomach almost too much to bear.
He laughs, âOh, who am I kidding? I donât have the self control to tease you like this.â
You lift your hips for Wade to pull your panties all the way down your legs, grateful that he doesnât comment on how wet they already are. You donât comment on how he stuffs them in his pocket.
Logan helps Wade spread your legs further, two sets of strong hands digging into the flesh of your thighs. Youâre getting wetter by the second.
âThis is even better than seeing Hugh Jackman oiled up and shirtless with âLike a Prayerâ playing,â Wade says when he sees your pussy.
âWhat?â
âHuge who?â
Wade ignores the questions. âGod,â he whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to your clit, and you resist the urge of your legs to weakly fall shut from the pleasure.
He takes his time with you, eating your pussy like a five course meal, making out with it like he never wants it to end. Wade moans against your skin even more than you moan from the pleasure.
He fucks you with one finger, then two, while he licks your clit, but itâs still not enough. Luckily, your boyfriend recognises your need.
âQuit squirming, will ya? So needy,â Logan scoffs, lifting your hips off him for a moment to pull down his sweats, taking out his hard cock. You give him a desperate nod before he can even ask anything, and Wade helps position you so that Logan can slowly sit you down on his dick, all three of you sighing in pleasure as he bottoms out.
âMhmm, good girl. Much better. Was startinâ to get cold anyway.â
You nod mindlessly, pussy already pulsing around your boyfriend.Â
âSo fucking pretty,â Wade mumbles. He licks your clit, your pussy stuffed full with Loganâs dick.
Logan lifts your shirt over your head, discarding it in a corner of the sofa, playing with your tits from behind you. Wade looks up at your chest, tongue on your puffy clit, and moans so hard his eyes almost roll back. He brings a hand up to squeeze your tit, leaving his hand there.
âYou close, baby?â Logan asks, able to feel your every squeeze around his cock, and you nod, grabbing his knee for support.
âYeah, pretty girl, cum for us,â Wade parts with your pussy for just a split second to say this. Loganâs hand comes down from your boob to gently press down on the space between your abdomen and your pussy, and you feel everything three times more intensely.
Wade begins to suck on your clit, and thatâs your undoing. You whimper as you try to fuck yourself on your boyfriendâs big cock just a little bit, squeezing around him, as Wade sloppily licks your clit to draw out your orgasm.
All of Loganâs willpower trying not to cum flows into your hips as he grabs you there. You feel a warm load of precum in your pussy, but he manages to resist the urge to cum, pulling you up and off his dick as soon as you stop pulsing with the aftershocks.
All three of you are out of breath. Logan turns you towards him to press a big kiss to your mouth, pinching your cheek, âYou really needed to cum, hm? Did so well.â
âThatâs three Michelin stars right there,â Wade says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and licking it afterwards.
You blink at Wade.
âExceptional cuisine, worth a special journey?â he offers.Â
âMichelin? I knew that guyâŠâ Logan says, shaking his head a moment later, âYou wanna keep going?â
You nod eagerly.
Your boyfriend smirks, âLetâs see if Wade can make you cum too.â
Wade puts a hand on his chest as he stands back up, hard dick tenting his sweatpants, âJe mâexcuse. Were you not just there for me licking her pretty pussy until she came?â
Logan shrugs, âI was the one inside her, bub.â
Wade huffs, âThatâs not how it works and you know it.â
You smile, pulling Wadeâs face closer to kiss him again.
âCan I fuck you?â he asks in between kisses.
âYes, but not yet.â
Logan completes your thought, âNot before I cum in her.â You smile at his possessiveness.
Wade puts his hands on his face, âWoah, wait. Did you two plan this? Thatâs so hot.â
Youâre already on all fours, Logan getting on his knees behind you, rubbing his cock between your pussy lips. You sigh in pleasure, pawing at Wadeâs sweatpants and pulling him to the sofa by the drawstrings.
He moans, pushing his sweats down and getting in front of you, âWell, merry fucking christmas to me.â
You kiss Wade by his hips and support yourself with a hand on his thigh. He gets the tiniest little bit harder, a brief flex of his dick, now fully hard. A drop of precum drips down, and you only just catch it with your palm before it lands on the sofa.Â
Logan smiles behind you, âCanât have him ruininâ the sofa, hm, baby?â
You nod lazily, and look up at Wade, âCan I?â
âHoly shit, baby, of course you can.â Wade looks you right in the eyes when you open your mouth to take the head of his cock past your lips, moaning when you taste him.
Logan begins to fuck you at the same time, slowly at first. You suck Wadeâs dick in the rhythm of Loganâs thrusts, slow but firm, that move you forward a little bit every time. Somehow, you manage to still look up at Wade with a little fucked out look in your eyes as your boyfriend fucks your wet pussy just how you like it.
âSuch a good girl, baby,â Logan mumbles, âtaking us both so well.â
Wade stutters âYeah, yeahh, knew this would feel good but,â he needs a second to recalibrate when you move your head down to lick his balls, heavy cock falling against your cheek, spilling precum. Wadeâs eyes fall shut as his head drops back.
He continues after a few moments, âbut this feels like heaven.â
When you move back to his dick and take him into your mouth all wetly, Wade cums instantly. The pleasure of having him pulsing against your tongue and his cum spilling down your throat makes you clench around Loganâs cock so hard that he moans.Â
âYeah, baby, cum for me,â Logan sneaks a hand around your hip to play with your clit, and with Wadeâs dick still throbbing against your tongue, you cum too. You feel Logan letting go, fucking his cum into your pussy thatâs squeezing him with the pulse of your orgasm.
 You all come down from your shared high giddy and giggling, Wadeâs hand smoothing over your cheek, Loganâs hand soothingly running down your spine.
Wadeâs dick, still hard, flexes in front of your face when you look at him, sticking out your tongue, his creamy cum covering it. âSaved you some,â you say carefully, making sure to not let any of it spill from your mouth.
âYouâre perfect,â he groans, bending down to kiss you and messily make out. Some of his cum spills from between your mouths, dripping down your chest.
Logan manhandles you to turn you around onto your back, and you bounce a little when you land. Then he bends down to lick Wadeâs cum off your chest in one broad lick. Youâre too excited yourself to pay attention to Wadeâs reaction.Â
Logan moves to rest your head in his lap by his lower thighs, cock hard again and close to your face. He nods between your legs, telling Wade, âthere you go. Sheâs wanted this for a long timeâ
Your head snaps straight up so that youâre looking at Logan, your gazes meeting. Your skin heats up all the way down to your chest and Logan smirks, âItâs okay, princess. This pussyâs still mine.â He reaches between your legs to deliver a gentle slap to your pussy, collecting some of his cum from inside you on his fingers, bringing them to your mouth. You suck them eagerly, and then sit up briefly to pull his face into a kiss.
âI love how we taste together,â you tell him.
Wade gets between your legs and tuts at Logan. âWhat an animal, doesnât even clean up after himself,â he huffs and promptly licks your pussy. He smirks up at you and Logan, âI love how you two taste too.âÂ
âNeed you to fuck me, Wade.â
âYou have no idea how long Iâve dreamed of hearing those words. Fucked my fist listening to you fucking so many times, gave myself friction burn.â
You and Logan share a smile. You know this; he talks to himself while heâs jerking off â youâre not sure if heâs aware.
Wade lines his dick up with your pussy, pushing your legs up against your chest, teasingly slapping his cock against your clit until youâre squirming. When Wade fucks you, he fucks you slowly, tauntingly yet desperately.
Logan lazily plays with his cock, slapping it against your cheek and your tongue from time to time, your mouth eagerly chasing after him, but heâs just teasing you, wants you to focus on Wade.
âDoinâ such a good job, baby,â Logan says from above you, stroking his hand over your cheek.
âThank you, peanut,â Wade says, eyes closed, thinking Logan is talking to him. You both let him remain in that belief.Â
Wade is lost in the feeling of your warm, wet and tight pussy around his dick, languidly fucking you as your pussy starts to squeeze around him more and more as you get closer to your own orgasm.
âGod baby, feels better than anything Iâve ever felt. Canât last much longerâ, Wade rasps, playing with your clit. But itâs messy, and Logan can tell it wonât be enough for you. He bats Wadeâs hand away and circles your clit instead.
You cum before Wade, moaning as your pussy clenches around him, triggering his orgasm. Your back arches as pleasure flows through your belly and spreads throughout your whole body, Wadeâs hips desperately chasing to keep that heavenly feeling until he stills inside you while heâs bottomed out.
âStill havenât made her cum,â Logan says, with a teasing smile.
Wade looks up, âI was the one inside of her, bub.â
You roll your eyes at their teasing each other, but you donât care as long as itâs about your pleasure. You donât care who made you cum.
âBend over for me, baby,â Wade says, pulling out, âwanna see if that ass is really made of sugar.â
You laugh as you get on all fours, Wade pulling your hips in place. He bends down and licks your pussy where he just came in you, swallowing some of his cum.Â
Then, he grabs your ass so hard your cheeks spread. Wade licks around your tight hole, and you wrap your hand around your boyfriendâs hard dick. Logan bends down to give you a kiss, and you moan into his mouth as the tip of Wadeâs tongue pushes inside you.
You canât deny that it feels good but youâve never let Loganâs mouth stay near your ass long either. You squirm so that Wade moves away from your hips, and he gives you ass a teasing slap as he sits back up.
âDefinitely made out of sugar,â he concludes.
Just when Wade is about to stand up, some more of his cum drips out of your pussy as you involuntarily clench around nothing, and he stuffs his face back between your legs. He sits back up with cum in his mouth, ready to kiss you, but you shake your head, looking up at Logan.
Your boyfriend pretends to be unaffected, but you can see behind it.
âCan he?â you ask Logan, and he agrees to it. You grab his jaw and open his mouth manually, biting your lip as you look at Wade. Loganâs skin is hot under your touch.
âHere you go, open up,â you beam at Logan, watching as Wade holds his jaw all tenderly, spitting his own cum into Loganâs mouth. You hold your breath as you wait for them to kiss, but the moment doesnât come.
You visibly pout when they pull away without making out.
âI know, sugar bear, me too, but Peanutâs not ready yet,â Wade shrugs.
You press a quick kiss of encouragement to Loganâs lips, and he and Wade are on you again within the second, but you need a break after your orgasms. But that little exchange, their lips almost close enough to kiss, turned you on so much that you want to see more of them.
You tell them to sit together, facing each other, as close as they can. Their muscular thighs are tangled around each otherâs hips, Loganâs leg resting over Wadeâs on one side, vice versa on the other one. Their dicks are close enough to touch with just a little bit of assistance.
âCan I?â you ask, kneeling in front of the sofa.
âCan you what, princess?â Logan bites his lip.
âRub your dicks together?â
âYeah, but come here. Donât wanna see the face itâs attached to.â Logan lies down and lifts you on top of him, your pussy in his face and your upper body by their pushed together crotches.
âOh pfft, you know you love it,â Wade comments.
âHe does,â you kiss him for reassurance. Logan is obviously into Wade, he just hasnât admitted that to himself yet.
Logan begins to lick at your pussy, tongue playing with your clit. âDonât. Canât focus,â you warn with a teasing smile.
âSorry, couldnât help myself.â
You wrap one hand each around their cocks, just jerking them off for a few moments.
âDonât make it so suspenseful, sugar bear, or Iâll cum from the anticipation alone.â
âWould that be a bad thing?â you shrug with one shoulder, smiling down at their throbbing dicks in your hands.
As much as youâd love to see Wade cumming all over himself before youâve even started, you have other plans. You let some of your spit drip down over their tips, jacking them off a bit faster, hearing their breaths stutter.
âPeanut, youâre really missing out not being able to see her. Sheâs so gorgeous.â
âI know she is, Wade.â
You smile at their compliments, lowering your head to trail your tongue between their cocks, paying more attention to your boyfriend first, then to Wade. They taste of your pussy and their precum, wetting your tongue with their taste.
Playing with them for a bit, you rub their dicks together, jerking them off at the same time.
âYou need some assistance?â Wade asks, sitting up more and moving his hips. All you have to do is hold your boyfriendâs dick in place as Wade grinds against him, rubbing his cock against Loganâs for a few moments.
âGod that feels good, wanna cum,â Wade groans.
âOff,â you tell him, smiling when his hips still in defeat. You tease them both a little longer, rubbing their tips together until their precum mixes and theyâre both close, but you donât let them cum.Â
You get off them, telling them to stand up while you sit on the sofa facing them, leaning back a little.
âWhich one of you wants to cum on me first?â you ask, voice sweet and angelic.Â
They both start jerking off immediately, and you almost drool at having these two tall, muscular men stroking their dicks right in front of you â and for you â fighting over who gets to drain their balls for you first.
Itâs Wade who cums first, a string of obscenities leaving his mouth as he jerks his dick to orgasm, painting your stomach white with his cum. Logan isnât far behind, telling you what a pretty girl you are as he cums over your belly and tits. Their cum mixes, and it becomes impossible to tell whose cum landed where.
You sit up to lick your boyfriendâs dick clean, then Wadeâs, then you lie back, puffing out your chest.
âCan one of you get wipes to clean me?â you ask innocently, knowing exactly thatâs not what theyâre going to do. They get to their knees simultaneously, starting to lick their cum off you, licking you clean.
They sit down next to you afterwards, you sandwiched between them. They lift one leg of yours each over their lap, touching you all over, putting their hands between your legs.
âSuch a good girl for us, hm?â Wade says.
Your boyfriend agrees. âDid such a good job, baby.â
âYou wanna cum again? Wanna cum for Logan and me?â
You nod lazily, all blissed out already, âyes please.â Your eyes fall shut at how good it feels, and at some point you can barely tell who is kissing you, whose hand it is playing with your nipples, or whose fingers are inside your wet pussy.
You cum for them, clenching hard around the fingers inside your pussy as another hand grabs at your knee to keep your legs apart. When you open your eyes again after a few moments, both men are looking at you lovingly, and itâs Logan who slowly pulls his fingers out of your pussy, delivering a few gentle, smoothing circles over your clit.
You grab his wrist to bring his fingers up to your face, looking him in the eyes, at how they light up when you suck his fingers into your mouth to taste yourself, no matter how often heâs seen you do it.
âYouâre such a lucky bastard, honey badger,â Wade smiles, leaning his head against the back of the sofa.
You innocently smile at Wade, âIâd say Iâm quite lucky too.â
-
You end up cuddling in your and Loganâs shared bed, all fucked out of your minds, freshly showered but exhausted to bits.Â
âAll in all, a successful Christmas Eve,â Wade says, making you giggle.
You force yourself from your warm and cozy position between them when you remember Wadeâs list, grabbing it off your bedside table, along with a pen.
Wadeâs cheeks redden in recognition at the piece of paper, âYou found that? That was just me writing fanfiction before bed one night.â
âWe wanted to give you a nice gift,â Logan grumbles.
âYeah,â you agree, âWe didnât want you to feel like you were third-wheeling all throughout the holidays.â
Wade smiles one of his sweet smiles, âThank you, guys. Youâve made this little guy,â he points at his face, âand especially this big guy,â he points at his crotch, âvery happy.â
âLetâs see if you got all your wishes.â
Dear Santa,
Iâve been an exceptionally good boy this year, my kill count is at a measly 34. I think I deserve a few things. Here are my wishes for Christmas this year:
- Eat out Loganâs girlfriend
âYou know she has a name, right?â Logan huffs.
âOf course, but the writer didnât want to have to use the dreaded y slash n.â
âWhat?â you cringe.
âNothing, keep reading.âÂ
- Eat my or Loganâs cum out of her pussy
- Sword-fighting with Logan while his girlfriend supervises
- Cum eating contest off her body with LoganÂ
- Cuddle with them
âWhat genius came up with this?â Wade grins.
âWe had to do some interpreting, but we got everything, right?â
Surprisingly, itâs Logan who points at the last wish, âWe havenât done that one yet.â
âYippie!â Wade claps, âcuddle wuddle time.â
âNevermind,â Logan says, ready to get up and sleep on the sofa, but you pull him back by the wrist, giggling.
You switch off the lights, putting Wadeâs wishlist away â all wishes checked off.
Logan moves closer to you, pressing his chest against your back to cuddle, giving you a loving kiss before lying down.
âI love you, princess.â
âI love you too.â
You let Wade snuggle up to you as the little spoon, draping your arm over his chest, and he holds onto your wrist with a warm hand.
âYou made me a very happy Christmas boy, you know that?â
You laugh, âWe love you, Wade.â
âI love you too,â he says, and lies his head down on the pillow. You kiss the side of his head before you pull the blanket over yourself.
âMerry Christmas, Wade.â
Just as youâre about to fall asleep a while later, you hear Wadeâs voice:
âYou know that means Santaâs real, right?â
P.S. Thank you so much for reading <3 Let me know what you liked and reblog to get on Wadeâs and Loganâs nice list đ€đ and Merry Christmas!!! <3
#logan howlett x reader#wade wilson x reader#Logan howlett x reader x wade wilson#wade wilson x reader x Logan howlett#wolverine x reader x deadpool#deadpool x you x wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#Logan howlett smut#wade wilson smut#Logan howlett x you#wade wilson x you#fem!reader#selfcarecap
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Super Grandpa
When Superman first made his debut, people were in awe of him. Children and adults alike held awe and wonder for him. As for elderly, they also loved him. As for why? Because he was like the second coming of Captain Marvel. A super who was the hero during the fourtiesâ to sixtiesâ. Naturally, other people besides the elderly noticed this too. This led to a theory popping up that Superman was Captain Marvelâs son or grandson. Most people were leaning to grandson though because if he was the Captainâs kid, heâd be at least fifty years old now. Not the twenty something year old guy they know. But yeah, people think theyâre related, hereâs a couple reasons why.
Supes: *being interviewed*
Lois Lane: *holding a mic up for Clark to speak into* âSuperman, who would you say inspired you to become a hero?â
Supes: âUh- Iâd sayâŠâ *sounds and looks a little embarrassed* âCaptain Marvel? I mean, look at me.â *gestures to himself* âI just have more blue than him. Plus, I mean he was my hero as a kid. I had the power to be like him so I decided to put it to use.â
A lot of people thought that sounded like a little kid talking about their parent being their hero, even though Clark was in all actuality, just talking about Marvel being his hero in general.
or
Wondy and Supes: *meeting each other for the first time*
Wondy: *nostalgic smile* âYou know, you remind me of my brother.â
Supes: âBrother?â
Wondy: âHe went by Captain Marvel?â
Supes: âWait, seriously?â *bros ecstatic on the inside*
Wondy: âYes. You look similar. Your suits are similar. Your ideals are similar. Iâm sure you two wouldâve gotten along wonderfully.â *sounds sad towards the end*
Supes: âI hope so.â
(This is the Wonder Woman that first came to America during WW2)
or
Supes: âWell, I myself have never met Captain Marvel, but my parents actually met him.â
Flash: âWait, really? Were are your parents also superheroes?â
Supes: âNo, they were normal people. He met them when they were teenagers apparently.â
Flash is over here thinking âOkay, so he might not be his dad, but he could be his uncle or cousin.â As for how the Kents knew Billy, he met them when he stopped them from getting into a car crash.
Then the time bubble popped, and Captain Marvel appeared once again. You couldnât even ask Clark how he got the man to sit down with him at a diner and eat pie with him.
Marvel: âSo youâre a hero too?â
Supes: âYup. Iâm part of the Justice League.â *nervously eating his pie*
Marvel: âWhatâs that? Are they like the JSA?â
Supes: Yes, sir, some of the members from the team actually joined us after they disbanded.
Marvel: âSirâŠ? Please donât call me that. Also, they disbanded?â
Supes: âYeah, during the 80s I think they disbanded.â
Marvel: âDang⊠well at least thatâs good.â
Supes: âWhy would that be good?â
Marvel: âOh well, the them disbanding part isnât good, but the fact that you and others stepped up to create another superhero team that could spread hope throughout the states is incredible.â *smiles*
Supes: *absolutely fangirling inside* âYou think so?â
Marvel: âOh, absolutely.â
or
Marvel and Supes: *teamed up to fight some alien*
After the fightâŠ
Marvel: âGosh! You were just amazing! Iâd love to fight with you again.â *smiles and ruffles his hair, cause heâs so darn tall*
Supes: âYou could do that if you join the league, you know?â *internally screaming because his idol just ruffled his hair*
Marvel: âI really should. Iâd thought about joining the JSA before the whole⊠yâknow, suspendium.â
Supes: *trying to sound nonchalant* âWeâd love to have you.â
People thought Marvel looked like a proud dad while Supes looked so happy to be praised.
So yes, the Marvel and Superman being family theories are strong.
Meanwhile, during all of this, Billy just thinks this guy is a cool dude.
#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#captain marvel dc#fawcett city#fawcett#fawcett comics#superman#clark kent
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I canât stop thinking about bratty princess reader x bodyguards 141
Something something your life is ruined now that your father has hired four broody body guards to be with you at all times. They usually rotate shifts, one staying with you at all times.
Sometimes events call for three of them or all of them. So when itâs time for a royal ball and three of them are needed, Simon opts to sit this one out in hopes to avoid the uncomfortable socialization.
After the ball, John stays at the palace with you and Kyle and Johnny join Simon back at their residence. Simon is absolutely baffled when the boys donât shut up about how bratty you were and the major attitude adjustment you need.
Talking about how you refused to follow directions, even when they were for your safety. Refused to buckle up in the car and struggled so much that Johnny had to hold you down while Kyle buckled you up. Pouting the rest of the way home. Refused to eat dinner at the ball and insisted they stop at a drive through even though that wasnât on your itinerary. Threatening to get them fired if they donât take you.
The boys go on and on about your behavior and Simon just listens, dumbfounded.
âWhatâs that face for Riley? She even worse with you?â Johnny asks with a frustrated tone.
Simon shakes his head. âNo attitude for me.â
The boys both start laughing. Thereâs no way thatâs true. Youâre truly a spoiled rotten brat, they think. Thereâs no way that heâs serious.
They never believe him until thereâs an event that calls for all four of them. Simonâs with you at the palace while you get ready. The three boys pull up out front ready for you to join.
They watch as you walk nicely to the car and climb into the middle settling in next to Johnny. Simon climbs in after you. The boys are ready for the battle of asking you to buckle up.
âBuckle, princessâ Simon grumbles.
âYes, Mr. Riley.â The car goes silent. Johnny and Kyle look like their eyes are about to pop out of their head. John doesnât miss the way your cheeks blushed red.
The car ride is silent. The boys are too shocked to say anything. Since when did you have manners and the ability to follow instructions? John drives with a grin on his face. Simon is unphased as you rest your head on his shoulder.
At the event, you are on your best behavior. You eat your food, move when instructed to move, and smile the whole time. The boys are genuinely so shocked at this new side of you. They watch in awe as Simon approaches you and the ever present feisty look is no where to be found.
âReady to go?â Simon asks softly.
âCan we please stay a little longer?â You ask so kindly. Simon nods and finds his protective position.
âDid she just say please?â Johnny asked exasperated.
âShe doesnât even know what that word means!?!?â Kyle is just as shocked. John just chuckles and shakes his head.
They then watch as minutes pass and you gently tap Simon and tell him you are ready to leave.
When you get to the car, Johnny decides to put this to the test. Simon gets you in the car and closes the door to talk to the event staff before leaving.
âBuckle up sweetheart.â Johnny instructs.
You give him a polite nod and buckle up quickly. John lets out a chuckle and before Johnny canât say anything before Simon is joining them in the car. âBloody hell.â is all that is heard as the car falls silent.
On the way home, you lean over the Simon and ask if you could stop for ice cream. He replies with a simple âNo, princessâ and is met with no reaction from you. A slight nod and your head falls back against his shoulder.
Kyle is about to lose it. You threatening to get them fired if they didnât take you through the drive through the other day. What the fuck has Simon done to you??
Something something and now itâs the end of the night. Simon has got you settled into bed and walks into the castle living room to review how tonight went with the security team.
âWhat the fuck did you do to her?â Johnny and Kyle stare at him as if heâs accomplished the impossible.
âTold ya, no attitude with me.â
John chuckles and pats Simon on the back as he grins.
A/n: is this dumb?? Itâs been eating my brain for a four hour car ride đđ
#fanfic#ghost cod#call of duty#ghost#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#tf141#tf 141 x reader#body guard#tf141 x you
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more medieval fantasy au time! reader whose life sucks and wont be missed by anyone in the present life suddenly finds herself back in time after blacking out and being mistaken for the assassin who was given orders to kill any of the cod boys (or price becos he's my hubby). cod boys/price decides to keep her under their watch closely in case she makes any more attempts to kill them. love myself some slowburn enemy to lover shite <3
Fun fact about me. I enjoy that shite, played out isekai manga/manwha trope where a girl gets reborn into the story of her favorite dating simulator except sheâs reborn as the villainess and has to try to use her knowledge of the game to change the story and avoid dying to the heroine or one of her many devoted love interests. But often her sudden change in personality piques the interest of one of those love interestsâŠ. Hereâs a very dark hentai with a somewhat similar plot to this trope, if youâre interested! Ghost coded, imo. Noncon warning.
Anyways
Prince!Gaz doesnât believe you when you say you werenât trying to kill him, but he does believe you when you say it isnât your fault. Poor thing. Mustâve been forced into it! You donât have to worry about that anymore, heâll keep you safe from whatever criminal underbelly manipulated you into doing this. He turns you into a bit of a pet project. A perfect rehabilitation of a criminal. Itâll be a brilliant morale boost. Maybe even more so if he takes you as his wife? Controversial, yet romanticâ the bards will eat it up for sure.
Knight!Soap thinks itâs a bit fishy. Why go after him? Why not the captain of the guard? Heâs kind of a dickhead, but he doesnât make any personal enemies. Heâs just gonna have to keep you until you fess up and tell him who hired you and what the motive was. And how lucky he is that the assassin they sent was so cute and squeezable, too! He doesnât mind having to keep you.
Warlord!Ghost considers this an open proposal for marriage. Heâs very much attracted to your gall and open animosity towards him. Both excellent qualities in a wife and a mother. Very wellâ he accepts!
Lord!Price can see that youâre not a natural born killer. This must have been your first time. Your attempt failedâ so he wonât have you killed⊠he takes a look at you and decides that humiliation is a more fitting punishment. So heâll be keeping you collared and on a leash for the foreseeable future.
Artificer!Nikolai can see whatâs happened right away. You have the smell of otherworld clinging to you. Youâre not from around here. But heâll play along as if he doesnât know that. As for your punishment⊠heâs been wanting an apprentice. Some cute little thing to help him around his workshop. Looks like you fit the bill on that.
#writing#cod fanfic#cod#medieval au#fantasy au#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#simon riley x reader#john price#john soap mctavish x reader#john price x reader#könig#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#Nikolai#Nikolai x reader#cod Nikolai#Nikolai cod#soap x reader#ghost x reader
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And They Were Roommates 10.2
the long awaited friendsgiving part 2! a month late but ya know... also the title is getting kind of hilarious
summary: friendsgiving pt.2
cw: uh... none that I can really think of? maybe a bit of flirting? if there is anything please do let me know!
word count: 2.1k
Friendsgiving was a hit. It was so incredibly fun getting to know everyone, eating delicious food (you were definitely going to ask Pandora for her pumpkin pasty recipe), and playing so many games. You played a couple rounds of spoons which ended in James and Marlene wrestling for the last spoon and, surprisingly, Marlene won. James claimed she was cheating saying âI had four sevens!â making everyone laugh.
âGotta be quicker, Potter, I thought you were the âbest chaser in a generationââ She mocked. You didnât quite understand, but laughed along with the group, mostly at Jamesâs pout.
As the night went on, you found yourself opening up to the others, becoming fast friends with both Pandora and Dorcas. At one point in the night, Sirius complained that they were stealing you from them. Dorcas just pulled you closer by your shoulders and stuck her tongue out at him. You laughed and let yourself be pulled into Pandora and Dorcasâs embrace. Sirius huffed and walked away.
âSo, Y/Nâ Pandora continued your conversation, âAre you seeing anyone?â
Your eyes widened, surprised by her forwardness. âOh uh⊠not exactly.â you chuckled. You looked down at your lap, trying to avoid the awkward feeling that was creeping up.
âReally?,â she asked âBut, with looks like yours, I would have thought that you had the boys lining up around the block.â she said, cozying up to you in an attempt to get more out of you. You just shook your head, lowering your gaze and trying to fight back the reddening of your cheeks.
âWell do you at least have your eye on someone?â Pandora asked in her soft airy voice. She had a genuine look of interest in her eyes that combated the look of mischief in Dorcasâs.
You again shook your head, not sure how to answer her, or better, how to not answer her. You were definitely not about to let your heavily guarded crush, or maybe crushes, slip out. Who knows who could hear this conversation. You definitely saw these girls as your friends now, but there is no one close enough to you that you would openly tell who you were secretly crushing on.
Besides, if your little crush got out it could mean ruining your friendships and possibly your entire living situation. Yes, you had a crush on your roommates. Each of your roommates had different reasons that attracted you but, you couldnât help the warm little feelings you would get when you were around them. You tried your hardest for a long time to ignore that nagging little feeling, to let it go and pretend it meant nothing, but you found yourself feeling like a schoolgirl around them. You had become very close to them very quickly, and somewhere along the way, you realized how genuinely great they were to you, how they treated you.Â
You were perfectly content to leave it at just that, just roommates who cared a lot about each other, but you found yourself longing for more. Especially when you found them snuggling under a blanket on the couch while you all watched a movie together or when you came home to find them napping all together. At first you were jealous in these moments, wanting it to be you instead, but then that feeling grew into longing, realizing that you wanted to be right in the middle of it all with them.
You liked all three of the boys equally, which confused you even more. You couldnât choose one over the other two and possibly throw off the whole dynamic in the house. And then there was the thought of if it didnât work out, what then.
So you just decided to hold this secret in, try to let it pass.
âUh⊠not really.â You lied, shaking your head. Both Pandora and Dorcas looked at you like they didnât believe you, but didnât push any further.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw two figures enter you and the other girl's space. It was the blonde boy- Pandoraâs twin Evan, and the boy with black hair with green streaks who you had to remember was named Barty. Evan stayed standing while Barty slinked to a cushion on the floor in front of you three girls.
âWhat are you three talking about?â Barty asked, smiling broadly. He had a nice smile, laced with boyish mischief and charm. It made him look less intimidating for sure.
âBoys,â Pandora said in a sing-song tone.Â
âOooh,â Barty said at the same time that Evan let out a slight âGrossâ and walked away to where Lily and Regulus were talking at the table.
Pandora giggled at her twinâs reaction. âWe werenât talking about my love life.â She explained, still a soft chuckle on her words.
âThen whoâs?â Barty asked, looking straight at you.
âNo oneâs,â you said quickly, âthere is no love life.â you thought that the topic was dropped but apparently not.
Both Pandora and Dorcas laughed at your quick outburst. You laughed along with them, it was a bit quick, probably sounded so girlish.
Barty let out a soft chuckle of his own. âNo love life, huh?â he smiled at you again. His smile was actually⊠very nice. He was more handsome the more you looked at him. But he was eyeing you like he was trying to figure something out, figure you out.
âLeaver here be, Bartemius.â Dorcas said from beside you, using what you assumed was his real name.
He just threw his hands up in defense and said âIâm not doing anything.â
She squinted her brown eyes at him, letting out a suspicious âMmmhmâŠâ
He rolled his eyes in response.
The four of you then broke into conversation about other topics, and you were grateful to leave the topic of love lives behind. You all talked about your music tastes which, to your surprise, all three of them shared with you. You talked about your favorite artists, songs, and what upcoming concerts you were excited for or bummed that you had to miss out on.
This led to Pandora starting a story about a concert she had gone to but then about halfway through remembered something she needed to tell James, so she cut her story short by skipping off into the kitchen to find him. You three laughed at her short attention span, but continued on.
The three of you continued talking about some movies then, until Dorcas claimed that she needed a refill of her drink and made her way to the kitchen as well, leaving just you and Barty.
Barty took Pandoraâs place on the couch as you two continued talking. Barty was actually a very nice person. You were a little skeptical because of his more⊠alternative look, but you found that he was really great to talk to, hardly any lulls in the conversation, he knew exactly what questions to ask or what to say to keep the conversation alive and well.Â
You two got onto the topic of growing up, he asked where you lived and what kind of school you went to. He listened intently and showed interest in what you had to say.Â
âWhat about you? Where did you grow up?â you turned his own question on him.
âLondon,â He replied, âBut my father had a house in France as well, so I would try to spend as much time there as possible.â
âFrance?â you asked, shocked. You could only dream of having a second home, let alone a second home somewhere in France.Â
He smirked. âYeah thatâs kind of where me, the Blacks, and the Rosiers grew up.â He said.
âWait, Sirius grew up in France too?â you asked, again shocked and interested in this new revelation. He replied with a nod. âWell, can you all still speak French?â
âOui,â he replied. You giggled and continued talking to him about traveling and what it was like to grow up in a different country.
âWell where would you want to live?â He asked.
You smiled, feeling that warm feeling in the pit of your stomach again. âWell, Iâm pretty content here.â you explained, eyes focusing on your fingers playing with your new ring that Dorcas gave you.Â
âHere?â He asked, sounding baffled. âAs in here in this house⊠with those three?â he nodded to the kitchen where you followed the movement to see Remus, Sirius, and James Standing in the doorway, eyes all on you and Barty. They didnât look too pleased, but didnât know the cause.
You turned back to your conversation, smiled and nodded. âI like living here⊠with them.â you said.
Barty looked at you with what seemed to be realization washing over his face. He looked you over, then looked back to the boys over your shoulder, and back to you. You could tell that he caught on to your meaning. He had figured you out. He smirked and nodded, confirming that he did in fact catch on.
âPlease donât say anything.â you said, ready to plead with him. You shouldnât have said anything in the first place, you werenât going to tell Dorcas and Pandora, but here you were spilling your secret to a boy who had buttered you up with stimulating conversation for half an hour.Â
He made a motion of zipping his lips. You sighed in relief.
âYouâre a lucky girl you know.â was all he said.
You furrowed your brows in confusion. âWhat do you mean?â you asked.
âYouâre a very pretty girl. Iâm sure they would have you happily.â he replied. You couldnât stop the blush that creeped up your neck and now blotched your face.Â
âI-I donât, uh.. I donât know what you mean.â you stuttered out, shaking your head and trying to get him to drop it. Again, you had no idea who could hear your conversation.Â
âI just mean, I donât exactly think that they would have been so quick to let you live here, rent free might I add, if they were not into you, beauty.â He said, giving you a pet name.Â
âT-they were just doing a good thing, helping me outâ you said, unable to gain your composure between the conversation topic and the subtle flirtation that Barty was conveying with that little nickname.Â
He looked at you with raised brows. âAnd being pretty sure helps,â he finished with a wink.
âHelps with what,â you heard Siriusâs voice from your right side.Â
Startled, you quickly turned to him. âOh- Uh, nothing!â you said a beat too fast. Sirius just stared at Barty, suspicion radiating off of him. This felt like a start to a nightmare. One you may or may not have experienced where your secret was revealed and everything went terribly wrong.
âI was just telling her about a date I had last week,â Barty said, holding Siriusâs eye contact with a smirk plastered on his face. âIsnât that right Y/N, dear?â
âOh, yeah!â you said, glad to have a good explanation that wouldnât raise any alarms with Sirius.
âAnyways, I was just going to grab a drink,â Barty announced, giving you a knowing look. âWould you like anything?â he asked you. You shook your head. âAlright then,â He said, standing and clapping Sirius on the shoulder as he passed him.
Sirius took the opportunity to slide into the spot that Barty was previously occupying. âYou alright?â he asked.
âYeah, why?â you answered.
âYou just seem a little jumpy, thatâs all.â Sirius said softly, a trace of worry between his brows.
You took a deep breath and smiled. âYeah Iâm fine just, been talking a lot.â you laughed off the nerves, relaxing into the familiar and easy conversation with Sirius. That warm feeling creeping back in, and you allowed it.
âI know,â He said. â I noticed you mingling quite a bit tonight, Iâm proud. I know meeting all these new people at once could have been daunting, but youâve done great all night.â
You smiled back at him, then rested your head on his shoulder, a normal act that you had done many times by now, but this time it felt so different. Warm and fuzzy, and all your senses wrapped in something distinctly Sirius.Â
You yawned and allowed yourself to shut your eyes for a moment. You were getting tired, all the socializing as well as cooking and decorating beforehand had taken its toll.Â
âYou tired?â Sirius asked. You nodded, head still on his shoulder. âGood now I have an excuse to kick everyone out.â
You snapped your eyes open, Sirius making to stand up. You giggled and pulled on his arm, pulling him back down onto the couch. âNo Siri! You canât blame it on me!â you laughed.
so... slight marauders jealousy but reader admitted feelings!! as always let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist â€ïž
taglist đ: Â @too-efn-old-to-be-here @cometsghost @eeviee4 @giuli-in-earth @spicybearnaise @the-lavender-girl @adharalikethestar @champomiel @itsleroyposts @enamoredwithbella @babymash @ilovejamespottersomuch @liszblog @sammyreid @kiaslily @idkman5335 @willowlovestheweasleys @lady-balem @nislame @latenightreadingpdf @v-loves-frogs @meggishhhh @mooonyxoxo @sodavrr @notmonstersapocalipse @plk-18 @prettylittlewrites @darkloverfox @navs-bhat @lexi2005
#marauders#marauders au#sirius black#james potter#remus lupin#marauders headcanon#marauders fanfiction#james potter x reader#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader#james x you#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#sirius x reader#sirius x you#sirius black x you#sirius black x y/n#remus x reader#remus x you#remus x y/n#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders fic#poly!marauders imagine#marauders x y/n#marauders x reader#marauders era
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this post triggered kotlc social media thoughts sorry
kotlc characters reading the books?
no no no
I want them to know about the fandom
#fintan would get on social media exclusively to fight on twitter i think#and his ass would get BEAT#no other social media because he is LAME and not hip with the kids#sophie is a spotify and pinterest kind of girl i think#marella has snapchat streaks with half of foxfire and has every social media known to man#mostly so she has access for any stalking or searching purposes#but she probably also posts a lot#biana is an insta girl and fitz also has it but only for reels#biana goes on tiktok to scroll but has like one post#fitz just doesnât have tiktok#keefe has tiktok. his screen time is atrocious and he opens instagram only to look at reels#but itâs mostly tiktok and he comments stupid shit#his reposts are probably terrible#councilor oralie has facebook#tam is on his quest for a myspace reboot /j#would he have tumblr i have yet to decide. if he does it means keefe also does. i think theyâre too normal for this app#linh is also pinterest and spotify but in a different way than sophie is#sophie also seems like a youtube while she eats girl where linh does not#tam also spotify yes#dex has instagram and tiktok but he forgets to check them tbh my boy is on messages and youtube#ummm ran out of thoughts more at 7!!!!
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*.âčË ZAYNE | christmas eve (christmas special)
ââ âzayne x fem!reader â mini one shot 1.1k words âZayne has to work on Christmas, so she decides to surprise him with their little Christmas dinner. â author's note here | christmas specials from the rest of the LI on my profile
She hated that Zayne worked so much without resting, but if there was one thing she hated more than that, it was he had to work on Christmas Eve. It was her first Christmas with a boyfriend and her boyfriend had to work.
According to Zayne, those days were actually pretty busy. People were slipping off the roofs while putting up decorations or having accidents while making dinner. She didn't say anything when Zayne told her he had to work, she should actually be proud that her boyfriend is saving lives! But while her boyfriend was saving lives, she was home alone⊠a little sad. She had actually lied to Zayne, saying she had plans with her friends because didn't want him to worry about her.
She had to do something, mainly because she didn't want her boyfriend to spend Christmas Eve alone in a hospital room⊠That's why almost two hours later she found herself leaving her apartment, a small bag at her side as she got into her car.
The ride to the hospital was smooth and quick, she expected there to be more cars on the streets, but it was the opposite. She confirmed her suspicions when she passed by the waiting room later: there were barely three people. She knew the reason Zayne was there that day was as a precaution, but why couldn't they just ask another doctor to stay? She was being selfish perhaps.
"Zayne?" She knocked on his office door, looked over her shoulder but the hallway was completely empty. She had passed the surgery board on her way there and Zayne's name wasn't there. Maybe he was with another patieâŠ
The door in front of her opened. Her face lit up as she saw her boyfriend with his brow slightly furrowed in confusion. "What are you doing here?" he asked with that softness in his voice he always used with her.
"I brought Christmas dinner." She smiled lifting the small bag in her hands, Zayne let her in seconds later, still a little confused.
"I thought you had plans with your friends."
"Yeah, well⊠I lied." She smiled shyly, not wanting him to get upset with her even though Zayne seemed to lose his patience⊠never. "I thought we could have dinner together."
Zayne was silent for several seconds. He knew his girlfriend had preferred not to mention anything and let him work, she did that all the time lately, but she was here anyway. She had cooked something for both of them and now she was here, giving up any last-minute plans she might have made to spend time with him on Christmas.
"You didn't have to do that." Zayne approached her, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend. She smiled slightly and shook her head, not wanting him to feel guilty.
"I don't mind. Let's eat." She placed one last kiss on his cheek before turning to start unpacking the food she had made for them.
She didn't mind the fact that she had to be there. After all, it was Christmas Eve, they could spend the day together tomorrow, right?
â
Over an hour later, she plopped down into the chair in front of Zayne's desk. She felt like she had eaten too much and now she couldn't move.
"Mmm⊠I think I'll take a nap on your couch" she whined, shifting in her seat. Zayne smiled at his girlfriend's exaggeration.
He glanced at the watch on his wrist, he knew she hadn't noticed but it was almost midnight. He knew she wasn't the biggest fan of Christmas but at least it was important enough as anyone else.
Zayne's hand slid down to one of his desk drawers to pull out the small box he had been hiding for almost two weeks. His girlfriend was too focused on complaining to notice. He hid it in one of his pants pockets and continued acting normally, clearing his throat to get her attention and getting up from his chair.
"Come on, it's almost midnight." She stood up quickly at his words and looked around for a clock. She hadn't even noticed the time, she only knew that her stomach was starting to hurt a little.
"Where are we going?" She asked, reaching over to grab her jacket. Maybe it had been a bad idea to wear such a thin jacket.
"Let's go to the roof," he murmured, wrapping one of his arms around her waist. He knew how much his girlfriend loved the snow and he didn't want midnight to arrive locked in the four walls of his office where she spent most of her lunch breaks anyway.
Five minutes later she felt the cold air hit her face, she had to narrowed her eyes. Zayne took one of her hands and directed her close to the edge, causing snowflakes to begin shower her hair.
She smiled excitedly. She loved the snow and even though she was sure she would start shivering in a couple of minutes, she loved the feeling of the cold against her face and the snowflakes in her hair.
"What time is it?" She asked turning to face Zayne and looked at the watch on his wrist once more.
"11:59."
She smiled excitedly. Her hand slipped into her jacket pocket to pull out a small mistletoe she had brought from home. She had almost forgotten it was there.
She smiled as she tried to stand on her tiptoes to put the mistletoe under both of their heads, but Zayne was quite a bit taller than her so she could barely do it. Zayne smiled when he noticed what his girlfriend was doing, he didn't need an excuse to kiss her anyway.
"Where did you get that?"
"I brought it from home." She shrugged. "Now you have to kiss me." She didn't have to tell him twice.
His arms wrapped around her gently, closing the small distance between them. She had suddenly forgotten all about the cold she had felt when they had reached the rooftop.
Zayne pressed his lips to hers without thinking, He deepened the kiss, holding her more closely to his body. He took the time to enjoy the warmth of his girlfriend, the way she let him explore her mouth⊠As if they had all the time in the world.
A loud bang in the distance separated them. She frowned, somewhat confused, she was expecting fireworks on New Year's but certainly not on Christmas. Bright colors flooded the sky for a few seconds before fading away. It was Christmas.
She turned excitedly, her nose had turned red due to the cold and her hair was now covered in snowflakes. The most adorable picture Zayne had ever seen.
"Merry Christmas, Dr. Zayne."
"Merry Christmas, my love."
#love and deepspace#zayne#lnds#lads#zayne x you#zayne x reader#zayne x female reader#zayne love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace zayne x reader#lads x reader#lnds x reader#love and deepspace fic#love and deepspace one shot#zayne fluff#xavier#rafayel#sylus#lnds sylus#lnds xavier#lnds rafayel#lnds zayne#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads sylus#love and deepspace x reader
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Mc inserts x TWST characters
(basically non-yuu pairings I think about instead of my inbox :p)
Ignyhide vice!Mc x Jamil Viper
Mc is probably twisted from one of the little demon goons, and it makes your contrast with Jamil charmingly obvious. Youâre both vices in the basketball club with an outside connection to your wardens (you figured a physical activityâll ward Idiaâs eye away) and you both hate your jobs to a comedic degree. The connection is actually really sweet and subtle!! Atleast until book 6 when Mc is complaining about their ego trippy boss while basically eating out of Jamilâs hand, feeding him information like the layout and hierarchy of styx,, as Idiaâs super exclusive assistant itâs only fair to give your guests a full tour!
âgeez! And he just gets so flippy-floppy, yknow? Heâs got this thing about energy drinks now so Iâve been diluting them, itâs such a pain!â
âIt might just be a defect with housewardens. Have you ever heard of the incompetency theory?â
Card soldier!Mc x Malleus Draconia
okay picture this- Mc is comepletely wasted and coming off the high from a holiday party that was totally killer. You wander into the woods past campus and find yourself at a little abandoned cottage, itâs like 100% cozy enough to chill in before stumbling back to the dorms. You continue heading there for pregames/drunken shenanigans, meeting up with some hot guy that hangs around sometimes. Youâre fully blindsided when your âlittle buddyâ is kicking heartslabyul ass during a spelldrive tourney..
âYoooooo, Mally, you must be really fun at parties. Want taâ go with me?â
âI canât say Iâve ever been invited to a âragerâ before, but it sounds.. enjoyable. I accept.â
Ignyhide freshman!Mc x Deuce Spade
Youâre a shaking mess during your first track meet. Itâs a graduation requirement to take at least one gym class before the end of freshman year, and youâd rather die than take flight class with all those scary seniors!! Your vice had enough sense to convince you into not dropping out, heâd said that âtrack is low stress!â And âyouâll enjoy itâ >:( you canât believe heâd lie to your face like that!! (Is this the AI revolution??) You guess itâs not too bad though, youâve even started strength training with a new friend. Heâs a little short tempered, but it could be a lot worse.
âhey, I had no idea ignyhide kids were into track! I thought itâd be too much sun,,â
âWeâre not vampires. I wouldnât clown on you for the tea in your thermos, so lay off.. heh, thereâs totally a dormouse in there.â
Scarabia housewarden!Mc x Leona Kingscholar
Itâs pretty rare to see Leona of all people in your reserved pool chair, but plenty of weird stuffâs happened during your senior case study. Youâre this close to getting your big shiny diploma- and a little rest now and then wonât hurt anybody! Savanaclawâs housewarden has only had his position since last year, and youâve held yours through all four. After knowing of each other for so long, itâs only logical that youâd become good friends! (Not that he calls you that)
âSo youâre graduating, huh? Hope that brat you choseâll fill your shoes, youâve worked pretty hard.â
âawh, youâre such a sap,, Iâm sure youâll like Kalim, heâs no idiot. I promise to visit whenever you decide to graduate, but itâll be a lot easier if i get that job in the castle!â
Octavinelle sophmore!Mc x Jack Howl
Poor Jack has to deal with everyone elseâs business on top of his own education, when does he get a break? That ramshackle prefectâs looking for leads on how to beat those twins in the water, and only one face comes to mind. Youâre his coworker at his temp job, and you owe him a favour (atleast from your perspective, he doesnât hold it over your head) because with your grades Azulâs got it out for you. Heâs begging for you to help him out- and who are you to deny those puppy eyes?
âJack you canât tell him! The housewardenâll make me quit, I need this job! :(((â
âwoah, itâs not like Iâm gonna blackmail you.. what kind of guy do you think I am?â
Savanaclaw freshman!Mc x Epel Felmier
Youâre lost, stressed and so confused in your first year :( it feels like everything is going wrong all the time!! Itâs probably like 10x worse because youâre very tall and so built, but nobody cares to peer up at the cute giraffe ears on your head! Youâve been challenged by so. many. seniors. (and you win against all of them, youâre no pushover) but youâre tired of the beef. Epel just thinks youâre the coolest person in the room, and is always saying he wants to get freaky fridayed with you. But he doesnât get the struggle!! Atleast Jack cares enough to tell him youâre just not liking it at school, and it makes Epel kick into action- heâs not letting you drop out, so please wait until he transfers!!
Pomefiore Junior!Mc x Rook Hunt
Youâre convinced that Rook c. Hunt is the worst guy in all of twisted wonderland (C for creep)! And it SUCKS because he went from your rebellious savanaclaw boytoy to.. whatever he is. (Howâd you miss the warning signs when you were tongueing him??) You can always see his stupid bob in your peripheral- but youâve rationalized that if you watch him, then he only sees what you want him to see! Itâs keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, just until graduation. And it does work, until you realize youâve given Rook an inch that heâs turned into a mile. Youâll probably never get rid of him now, but whatâs the point anymore?
âAh, mon cher! You always enchant me with your passionate gaze, Iâm honoured to be the object of your attention!â
âuh.. sure thing, hon. Whatever you say.â
Diasomnia Senior!Mc x Idia Shroud
Youâre a highly educated noble from the mysterious land of Briar Valley. You are poised, weirdly formal, and utterly incompetent with your newest area of study- contemporary technology. Youâve tried to convince yourself that itâs pointless, they donât even use it at home! But if you want to travel anytime before the collapse of human civilization, it must be done. youâre insatiable with your thirst for knowledge, and completely enamoured with having first hand experience with every era of mortal tech. It also happens to be almost impossible to revive your âKno-Keyaâ once it has decided to die. That is where Idia Shroud comes in.
âIn exchange for the revival of my electronic mailing device i am willing to offer an extensive dowry befitting of your station and technological necromancy skill. Will it suffice?â
âI literally only charged your phone, uh.. WOAH, A DOWRY?? I donât have the space for five horses!! Iâm totally not prepped for the marriage route, I havenât the wiki yet!â
#twst yuu#twst x reader#yuu twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst wonderland#jamil x yuu#jamil twst#jamil twisted wonderland#jamil x reader#twst jamil#twisted wonderland jamil#malleus draconia#malleus x reader#malleus x yuu#malleus twst#malleus twisted wonderland#deuce twisted wonderland#deuce spade x reader#deuce x reader#deuce spade#deuce twst#deuce spade x yuu#leona twst#leona twisted wonderland#leona kingscholar#leona x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#leona kingscholar x yuu
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Couple weeks ago my friend sent me a link to @vaspider shop with their promotion for a buy one get one free on hot/cold packs:ïżŒ
Razz loves to spread the word about shops they buy from, especially small businesses or shops owned and operated by queer people. I did not need a popcorn scented heat pack, so I did not buy anything, but they did.
Tonight I got these messages: ïżŒ
ïżŒ
Emails, you say? Letâs seeâŠ
I just want you guys to know that this last line, âafter this interaction I can no longer in good conscience promote your work or buy from you,â is akin to burning your crops and salting your fields coming from Razz. They are the most polite person I know. They do not want to stir up trouble. Part of it is because, as a blind person, they have had to learn to be non-confrontational in order to protect themselves, but itâs also because Razz is just genuinely a kind hearted and understanding person.
They live off of disability and occasional commissions, but they use what little money they have to support small businesses and independent artists because they appreciate the quality as well as the work that goes into each item. You can see here that Raz was trying to figure out if it was a genuine misunderstanding on their part because they hadnât read the site correctly.
They were not able to read the site correctly because theyâre blind.
This isnât really about a misunderstanding, or Razz wanting to get the other item. Itâs about Vaspider immediately treating them with contempt when Razz sent an email asking what had gone wrong. Is it the businesses responsibility to eat the cost of shipping due to someone not being able to understand the terms of the sale? Itâs certainly good business practice, but I think Razz would have understood if they had been told that it would cost the store too much for another item to be sent if Vaspider hadnât been such an asshole about it.
Razz is, unfortunately, used to disappointment. They are used to having to struggle to navigate websites that are not made with people like them in mind. They are even, at this point, used to having to lose money on things due to brain damage suffered from being forced into a botched medical procedure last year. But that isnât how they opened this conversation. They opened with, âI think something may have gone wrong, can you help me understand what happened? â
The way Vaspider treated my friend is disgusting. I hope that those of you reading this will take Vaspiders behavior in this exchange into account when youâre deciding where to spend your money. The next time that you see one of their posts, a link to their store, or receive an email about a sale, I hope that you remember these emails and recall how Vaspider treats people that they donât think are important. I want you to think about whether the group of people that Vaspider considers to be worthless might include you. ïżŒ
I know that there are a lot of people willing to come to Vaspiders defense because theyâre well-known and popular. They are so well-known and popular that theyâre willing to treat one of their customers like garbage over $10 in shipping, and theyâre willing to do it right out in the open for everyone to see.
Happy holidays, and eat a big old bag of dicks. ïżŒ
Letâs fucking go.
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2025: #5 CONFIDENCE ISN'T GIVEN
Youâre not born confident. Confidence is forged. Itâs earned when you decideâand I mean decideâto stop caring about what people think. You want to know why you donât feel confident? Itâs because youâve spent your whole life chasing validation. You want people to like you. You want people to approve of you. Youâre scared someone might have something bad to say about you. But FOR REAL nobody cares as much as you think they do. Theyâre too busy worrying about their own STOP GIVING SHIT
..âïžSo why are you holding yourself back? Why are you giving other people the power to control how you see yourself? Let me tell you somethingâif you keep waiting for someone to tell you youâre good enough, youâll be waiting forever. Confidence starts the moment you stop asking for permission to be yourself. Youâve got to walk into every room like you own it, even if you feel like a fraud. You think everyone who looks confident actually is? Hell no. Theyâre just better at pretending. And guess what? The more you pretend, the more real it becomes.
HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE
Own Your Flaws Letâs get this straightâconfidence isnât about being perfect. Itâs about being real. Stop trying to hide the parts of yourself you donât like. Everyone has insecurities. Everyone has doubts. But the difference between confident people and insecure people? Confident people say, âYeah, Iâve got flaws. So what?â They own it. They wear their imperfections like armor.Youâve got to stop being afraid of judgment. You think your flaws are holding you back, but the truth is, itâs your fear of them thatâs holding you back. Confidence isnât about eliminating insecurities cuz we allllll have ones itâs about walking into a room and saying, âHere I am, take it or leave it.â
Get Uncomfortable You know what kills confidence? Comfort zones. Youâve built this little bubble around yourself, and youâre too scared to step out of it. You avoid challenges. You avoid risks. And then you wonder why you donât feel confident. Confidence grows when you do hard things. When you push yourself. When you fail and get back up. Youâve got to start chasing discomfort like your life depends on itâbecause it does.Start small if you have to, but start. Speak up in a meeting. Wear the outfit youâre scared people will judge. Say no when you mean no. Every time you push through fear, you prove to yourself that youâre stronger than you think. And thatâs where confidence comes fromâaction, not thinking about it, not talking about it.
Stop Comparing Comparison is the thief of confidence. Youâre scrolling through social media, looking at people who seem like they have it all together, and youâre sitting there feeling like trash. Let me tell you somethingânobodyâs posting their failures. Nobodyâs showing you their breakdowns. Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone elseâs highlight reel.You donât need to be like them. You donât need to have what they have. What you need is to look in the mirror and realize youâre the damn prize. Youâve got your own path, your own strengths, your own story. Own it. Stop trying to fit into someone elseâs mold.
Take Care of Yourself and Letâs be real .. If you donât take care of yourself, youâre sending a message to the worldâand to yourselfâthat you donât value you. You want to feel confident? Start showing up for yourself. Eat like you care about your body. Move like you want to be strong. Dress like you give a damn. When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you carry yourself differently. Thatâs not shallowâitâs self-respect.
Talk to Yourself Like You Matter Youâre your own worst critic. You say things to yourself youâd never say to someone else. âIâm not good enough.â âIâm so stupid.â âIâll never be as good as them.â Stop. Stop talking to yourself like youâre worthless. Start hyping yourself up like youâre your own biggest fan. Look in the mirror and say, âIâve got this. Iâm unstoppable. Iâm the one they need to watch out for.â It feels weird at first, but fake it until itâs real.
CONFIDENCE IS A MINDSET
Confidence isnât about never doubting yourself LET ME EXPLAIN .. Itâs about showing up in spite of the doubt. Itâs about walking into every situation and saying, âI might not have all the answers, but I belong here.â
Stop overthinking. Stop waiting for permission. Stop letting fear dictate your life. People will always have something to sayâ'That hairstyle doesnât suit you,' 'Why are you wearing that?' Who cares? Their opinions donât define you. You like it? Thatâs all that matters. Stop living for their approval and start living for yourself.Youâve got everything you need to be confidentâyou just have to decide to use it. So, stop sitting on the sidelines of your own life. Get up. Take action. Be bold. Be loud. Be unapologetically you.
the world doesnât need another copy. It needs you. And if youâre too scared to show up as yourself, youâre robbing the world of something incredible. Confidence isnât givenâitâs taken. So, take it. !
@bloomzone đ
#bloomivation#bloomdiary#wonyoungism#wonyoung#it girl#dream life#divine feminine#creator of my reality#becoming that girl#self growth#self confidence#confidence#glow up#get motivated#goals#healing#mental health#self development#self improvement#postive > negative#dear diary#alone but not lonely
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