there's something that just rlly fucking sucks about burnout. like? i'm not even doing much. 5 hours of class a week where i sit down at an easel and draw. then i have an assignment over the weekend that's less than 2 hours long. and i'm still exhausted. i can't draw like i usually do because my imagination + ability to craft compositions is used up. it really makes me wonder if i'll ever get anywhere in life, if this is what gets me down
anyway. i have a bit of a buffer of posts but after that idk how long it'll be. just an fyi
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how did you first get into Jeremy Jordan
good question—and one i very recently asked myself when the inevitable "how did i become this person" reflection happened 🫣.
i think there were many different factors (most of them not that good) that caused me to dive into obsessive mode so hard (and so quickly)—and it's definitely a "i see it now, but i couldn't back then" kind of situation. however, i'll spare you from those details XD.
the simple story is that, similar to you, i watched tangled the series and instantly fell in love with varian.
i love him
funnily enough, varian was the reason i started watching the show to begin with (coupled with the fact that i love tangled, and rapunzel, and eugene, and pascal, and max, and- 😆). i actually listened to the tts songs before watching the show 🫣 because my sister had gotten hooked on it years before. however, i only listened to the songs with mandy moore and zachary levi 🫣🫣 (cause i was like "who are these other random people, i want rapunzel and eugene"). then one day i listened to "through it all," in which varian has one line (plus an "eh" which i love now, but couldn't tell was him when i first listened XD)—and i was instantly just like: who's that.
have i listened to this one line on loop? you bet.
so i started watching the show—and loved varian from episode one—so naturally, i decide to look up the voice actor. it was jeremy....surprise. except...i didn't actually become obsessed right then. if anything, i was a little weirded out that this tiny boy was voiced by a 30-something year old man 😂 (but it's voice acting, so i was just like: wow, he did a great job 🤩...i'm going to go resume loving varian).
okay and then he sang. i knew he was good from his one line in "through it all", but wOW. adfasjkjaskfjd, on repeat forever and ever.
yes he was
that's not when i became (jeremy) obsessed either XD.
okay...and then a bunch of life stuff/circumstances kind of collided, and let's just say that i was feeling extremely lonely while also struggling with grief. i think there was about a two week period of this before i started actually bouncing back, and i had just reached the end of s1. now tts was doing a good job with bringing much needed happiness in my life, but...s2 had a very noticeable varian-shaped hole in it 😒.
that's when i turned to jeremy jordan youtube. it started off (the first hour) pretty mild—just some of his disney medleys, or the greatest showman video, or just the ones with millions of views—but it very quickly turned into a full out jeremy jordan youtube spiral™️ XD.
i must put this in your face again
i think in part, i latched on so quickly because jeremy and i are actually very similar people in general. i think at the point of extreme change that i was in at the time, it was just nice to "know" someone who was like me—and it definitely helped that there was easy access to extensive jj content. on a slightly different note, this is absolutely the reasoning behind the fact that if i had a chance to see jeremy live, i would choose one of his concerts over, say, gatsby—i am obsessed with jeremy jordan as jeremy jordan XD (hello akp).
literally me (i grew up in california by the way XD)
anyways, fast forward ~3 months, and i joined tumblr 😆...and we all know what happened after that. honestly, not a bad decision in my mind (at least so far), despite being very anti-social media my whole life. i've gotten to chat and obsessively geek out with so many great people, and i'm just so grateful for that 💕.
i've still only watched s1 of supergirl...and many youtube clips
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Hi guys, it’s been a few weeks now since I last posted. I didn’t plan on going on hiatus, but this year really has it out for me. Every time something bad happens, and I’ve just started dealing with that Mountain of Shit, another one pops up. Like whack-a-mole. I keep looking at an invisible camera, acting like I’m in The Office because there is no way this shit is real.
The upside is that I’ve been working on some stuff while I was gone, so I will try to find some time to get that done and posted in the next couple of days. I started writing the first chapter of my vampire!Matt series Carpe Noctem, the next chapter for Chaos Theory (almost finished, too), and the next chapter for Do No Harm. There’s some other stuff I have in store, but I’m going to keep that to myself. For now.
I want you all to know that I saw your lovely messages/comments and I’m so grateful for your support <3 I will get to answering them individually today or tomorrow, at the latest. This is just to give you a little heads-up that I’m not dead. I’m very much hanging in there.
I love you all.
PS. One of those mountains of shit included an incident that made it impossible for me to go to the comic con I already had tickets for, meaning I didn’t even get to wear my cosplay. I will do a photo shoots one of these days just for you guys and post it because I was so excited to be Elektra. It’s a great emotional and financial cost, but I can’t change it now. Unfortunately.
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I dunno, I kind of want Season 3 to have skipped over a bunch of stuff so we can start with Aziraphale in heaven, plotting to overthrow all of it from the Metatron down, stop the second coming, and move back to earth as soon as possible. He's assembled a secret army made up of a bunch of other like-minded demons and angels, who, he has discovered also just want to have niche hobbies and play at the boundaries of humanity. They only needed to be slightly tempted into it and now they all have their own little human obsessions and have promised that when they go to earth, they'll only be working the smallest of miracles and curses which Aziraphale is quite confident will inevitably all just cancel each other out.
Crowley's mostly worked out his Point, and has begrudgingly made friends, some drinking buddies that he can rile up and call names and it's not quite the same as having Aziraphale around but he's no longer passively suicidal all the bloody time. He probably coaches a junior football team, or volunteers at an animal rescue a day or two each week, and runs multiple twitter accounts stirring shit up online. He's got a job, one he takes quite a lot of pride in, running the Alnwick Garden where the collection of poisonous plants has tripled during his tenure and the number of humans passing out has only doubled. There has also been a remarkable increase in the number of both meet-cutes and divorces occurring within the gardens that the Times once tried to report on but the journalist and all her notes disappeared before going to print. Crowley organises small expeditions to the unexplored corners of the world, always able to find some underground cavern or lush rainforest or barren desert that somehow all of humanity has missed. And within them, new plants for him to catalogue and, on occasion, vaguely eldritch, albeit thumb sized, new beasts.
So by the time we see them coming back together, they've done their personal growth and we can see that and, importantly, they can see that, and so all that's left to do is communicate with each other properly, which will likely be screaming for about twenty minutes, making out for about another fifteen, and then a lazy hour of quiet apologies, confessions, and secrets. Then they stop the second coming (while holding hands, and kissing, and flirting and beaming) and live happily ever after.
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