#and the whole time ill be thinking man I wish I was playing 2 or 3 right now sdjfdfs

[internalscream1ng]

My thoughts after Chapter 7

Spoilers for Tokyo Debunker below please continue with caution:

WOWIE WAS CHAPTER 7 A GOOD ONE!!!

I can say that Mortkranken is a very interesting dorm. And I could be bias because it's a shade of a blue or blue/green I like, but it's coming my favorite.

I know I pick and push calling Jiro a slut but it was mostly based on looks alone. Now actually seeing his character in play I can finally form an opinion on these two characters.

Opinions on Yuri and Jiro :

Jiro - Looks alone he was the one who stood out to be the most, I have a type of liking either assholes or dark gloomy guys in series and seeing Jiro was the cake on top ~ I enjoy seeing him fight and work, learning about him and his illness too was a plus side and I hope to learn more about his character even if it's a side mini thing I hope he returns in the main story.

Yuri - Not gonna lie, I knew his character looks seemed familiar turns out a buddy of mine sent me a photo of him and I proceeded to call him a teal hair Azul Ashengrotto - I do not apologize. I honestly adore this man with my being. He is a bit of a gobber but he is very smart ( obviously he is a doctor). He makes me giggle a bunch so I will definitely be thinking of him.

My thoughts on chapter 7:

I was actually happy that I didn't have to wait long for the Chapter since from when I got into Tokyo Debunker for the first time. Jumping into a new chapter for the new dorm is always exciting even after all we learned in the game up till now. I knew the MC curse wouldn't be solved so easily since now there is a marking on her neck, but it was a good way to introduce Mortkranken into the story line and the characters along with it.

However with the mutated anomaly was a freaky thing itself. But it was perfect in its own way. But I wished they gave us a sprites for the zombies. After Chapter 2, the way they made one for Takeru's ghost the details and the way he moved was so chilling it made me snapped back to the thoughts this had some horror themes to it.

The anomalies in Chapter One weren't scary but they had their own sprites like the characters and they also moved too, if you look closely you can see them swaying, better view as it is looking at their hands. I kind of wished they revisited the idea of Takeru's ghost sprites / it moving to the zombies in Chapter 7. I feel like it would give the players more of an eye opener or give the player some sort of thrill chill.

I won't sit here and complain about that, we can't all have what we want to think, but I think it would have been a nice idea.

Details I liked in Chapter 7:

I will keep this one short and simple:

Finally learning the anomaly name of the one who cursed MC, Kyklos.

Zenji being Jiro's brother

Zenji name being Taro Kirisaki ( does Jiro even remember him? Someone please let me know)

How bright and colorful the lab in Mortkranken was.

Jiro <3

Jiro and Yuri's relationship <3

The tree Towa was caring for getting better but worse at the end ;-;

Towa SPEAKING AGAIN his voice is WAHHHHH✨

Also Gala is on board

ALSO WHATEVER TAIGA WAS WEARING HELLO?! SIR?!

If you read this far thank you so much!!! I'll make a separate post on my theories, I am just tired and mad that it got deleted mid-post.. I'll make a whole new post on it later it's past 3am and I wanna unwind for a bit after playing. If you wanna ask me things please direct them to my Ask/Submissions in my bio <3

[rebelspykatie]

WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER 

Link to AO3 | Chapter 4 | 5k out of 17k | Rated T Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

He’s more nervous than he’ll admit. It’s stupid. But even if he’s played hockey his whole life, he’s not sure how his skills stack up against Eddie and the other Hellfire guys. He could make a fool of himself, even with all those years of experience. He’s never wanted to win something more, though. 

Not that it’s a competition with the others. Jeff is at the edge of the rink, leaning against the railing with an amused grin, waiting for them to warm up. Gareth and Frank are standing by the goalposts on opposite ends of the ice. They’re not even wearing their full gear, just some practice jerseys and knee pads. That should be enough to loosen Steve up. It’s not that serious. This is just a silly competition that doesn’t mean anything in the long run. 

Eddie’s not as relaxed, he skated a few laps around the rink to shake off the first part of their competition, before stopping beside Frank and whispering conspiratorially with him where Steve couldn’t hear. They keep casting furtive glances his way that leave Steve’s skin prickling. 

He ignores it.

He does a couple of loops around the arena himself, warming his legs back up and getting used to the hockey skates he switched over to, then glides over to Gareth. He feels silly standing next to the Hellfire guys in their pads and jerseys, with his ill-fitting one and tight warm-up leggings. None of them have on anything that could be considered form fitting. At least his own hockey skates bring him some level of comfort. 

“You ready, man?” Gareth asks, leaning on his stick and grinning over at Steve. 

“As I’ll ever be.” Steve rubs a hand over the back of his neck, nerves clearly showing if the softening of Gareth’s teasing grin says anything. 

Gareth slaps him lightly on the arm. “You’ll be fine, dude. Eddie’s not gonna go easy on you, but you have some sick speed on you. If you can get the puck from him, you’ll beat him in a race. If he gets the upper hand, catch his left knee. It’s weak from a previous injury and he won’t expect it. That might only work once, though.”

Steve’s not sure if he can trust Gareth, but he’s been nothing but nice to Steve throughout the rivalry brewing between him and Eddie. In fact, he almost always seems to side with Steve and poke fun at Eddie when he can. He settles on believing him. 

“Thanks, Gareth.” 

Another look passes over his face before he asks, “What’s with you two, anyways?” He gestures with his chin towards the other end of the rink.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Steve says, shrugging. “He’s hated me since the moment he laid eyes on me. Thinks I’m some spoiled brat or that he’s twice the man I am cause he’s in different skates.”

“Eddie’s an idiot, Harrington. You’ll have to forgive him.” 

Steve snorts. “I just wish I could figure him out.” 

“I can’t say for sure,” Gareth leans in closer, “but I don’t think he hates you.” 

Steve looks across the rink. The intensity of his gaze must alert Eddie, because he throws a look over his shoulder, but quickly turns back to Frank when he realizes Steve is staring at him. 

“He can barely even look at me,” Steve adds quietly, more emotion there than he’d like for Gareth to see, “He told me not to call him Eddie, only Munson, and acted like me touching him was going to give him cooties or some dumb shit. One minute he’s concerned about my well being, the next he’s insulting me. I just can’t get a good read on him.” 

Gareth mumbles idiot under his breath. Steve probably wasn’t supposed to hear that, and he definitely doesn’t think it’s directed at him, but it tears his gaze away from Eddie all the same. A long suffering sigh leaves Gareth. 

“You’re getting a better read than you think, Steve.” He skates closer and puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Just give it time. Somehow I have a feeling this will all work itself out in the end.” He squeezes Steve’s shoulder. “And if you kick his ass, Eddie won’t be able to say shit anymore. I’m pretty sure you’ve already taught him a valuable lesson, so let’s bring home a victory for you, alright?” 

Steve nods. A victory. He can do that. He knows hockey. He might not do it every day like Eddie, but he’s not a novice.

As they slip on their helmets, Gareth adds, “Give him hell, Harrington.” 

Continue on AO3

[axelandvixen]

well no. he's blatantly gay. play literally any one of the games and you'll see it right there in front of your eyes. this is more than just a silly headcanon this is erasure of a canon queer identity. idk why you're comfortable doing that that. he's a fag. he does not like women. the whole series hinges on him being down bad for big boss so you can't just wish it away.

i dont think you realize that just because he has a preference for men doesn't mean he could have a preference for the other gender, yes i do love bosselot, yes, i do ship ocelot with men, YES, I KNOW OCELOT LIKES MEN, I KNOW OCELOT LOVES BIG BOSS but he could also just have more of a preference for men 😭 "grr!! ocelot is a GAY MAN!! it's canon!!" no, it's not canon, it's just very heavily implied, it would be cool for it to be canon but sadly it isnt, i don't think you realize that bisexual men exist aswell,,, ocelot could be as much as bisexual as he could be being gay yknow? also i have played the games, i have played mgs3 about 2 times, ik how ocelot is, also, im a person of the LGBTQ+ community, if ocelot was canonically gay, i wouldn't ship him with a female character nor oc, im not that kind of guy, im not trying to be like, mean or start an argument or anything but you also gotta think on what IS canon in the mgs series and what isnt, also this reminds me of bi-erasure from bisexual men, ppl just calling them gay bc they have more of a preference for men instead of women despite the fact they still like both,,,let me have my hc's and ill let u have urs 😭😭

[storkmuffin]

rant about how much i didn't like Veronika Decides to Die by Paul Coelho because my mutual (@bloodyentrails) said i could do this. (all opinions mine)

Veronika Decides to Die tells the story of Veronika, who goes down a depression spiral.

She feels like life has no point, that she herself has no purpose, and she just wants to exit. She's from Slovenia, and like the citizens of a lot of countries that are neither famous nor infamous, even though she lives comfortably and well enough, she carries this annoyance that nobody knows where Slovenia is. She takes a bunch of pills, but is rescued from her suicide attempt. However, the doctor at the mental hospital she wakes up in tells her that she has irreparably damaged her heart. She only has a week to live.

During the course of this week at the mental hospital, she meets a young man around her age who is diagnosed with schizophrenia, and gets some advice about how to live and what's important in life from a woman who was a lawyer until debilitating panic attacks caused her to lose her career and get abandoned by her husband.

Coelho kept saying, over and over, that she's very pretty, that she thinks about her own prettiness, she can get a boyfriend whenever she wants, that her life actually consisted of doing a job she was bored by (as a librarian) and then going to a bar to pick up a casual sex partner when she doesn't have a boyfriend, and starting again the next day.

By the end of day 2 of 5 to live, Veronika has decided she will do whatever she feels like. One of those things is playing the piano at the mental hospital, which apparently she does well enough for it to function as a siren call for the schiozophrenic guy. By the evening of day four, she takes all her clothes off in front of this guy in the piano room at the mental hospital and masturbates to orgasm in front of him.

MAJOR SQUICKAGE. First of all, the guy is mute. He hasn't said a single word to her so far. Secondly, given that Veronika is described as a heterosexual normie, I find the idea that she would want to flash a stranger and jack off in front of him a really bizarre turn of events. Third, I felt really grossed out by Coelho having consistently described this woman, pointedly, over and over as being really pretty. He must've been building to this point, like, he wrote this whole book to build to this scene of this young thin pretty woman get naked and put on a sex show because she wants to and it's good for her. What in the actual fuck. You WISH women wanted to do this, dumbass.

OH and this then causes the mute mental hospital male patient and this woman to 'fall in love' and they 'run away' together. So, we have Liberation of a repressed woman = she does porny things instead of what an actually liberated repressed woman would do, for one, and for another we have, "love" cures mental illness. For good. Entirely.

Day 5 happens, and Veronika doesn't die.

Then the reader is told that she has been lied to this entire time. By her doctor. Because he thinks this is a course of treatment, to tell his suicidally depressed patient, a woman who actually went all the way through with a suicide attempt which took the deliberate action of swallowing pill after pill until she lost consciousness, that she had a heart failure situation going on and there was nothing to be done. Then he injected her with medication whose side effect was to give her heart-failure-type symptoms. Without information or consent.

The book ends with this Dr. Mengele type motherfucker congratulating himself for his 'effective course of treatment' in making Veronika OK and wanting to live and set up life with her mentally ill boyfriend with whom she has essentially absconded from hospital.

I CANNOT BEGIN TO EXPRESS MY RAGE about the horror of this. The smug self congratulation by the author (speaking through the doctor) that he has done the right thing, that most mental illness can be 'cured' in this way, that this is a warm and moving parable he has told?

VOMIT. VOMIT OF BLOOD. I HATE HIM SO MUCH.

[cathalbravecog]

long ramble, haven't had one of these in a while! if you read this, have fun. it's headcanons/thoughts on some stuff. i don't talk about my thoughts on story stuff publicly much anymore especially because 1) i'm shy 2) trust issues 3) bad rsd 4) i forgot the last point

i was writing for oNCE yesterday (some headcanon stuff, for myself, won't be posting that unless i change the wording of some of it to make more sense because i ramble a lot and it's a mess. like i am doing right now. also that turned into being mostly about hr in the end because i am ill. now hopefully this motivation will get me to write my mary and archie stuff.)

and when i went to bed i was thinking about some stuff in toontown, mostly the cogs - and how things work. these are things i ponder on very often and have talked about with my friends many time, throwing ideas back and forth and my headcanons for how things work.

though, there's one thing i really wonder about, and that's where cogs come from in ttcc exactly. in 'that' way though of course to keep things on the same rating as the game is i won't discuss anything explicit so don't worry. (besides they're robots and also are sexless to me, anything related to gender is purely cosmetic to them. you are usually assigned a certain expression when built though, but can change that later on. that's how i explain trans cogs.)

i think about how there are canonical families and children, and that they have "built" dates and places where they've been built. it's obvious as they're robots, they're not born they're built and made.

it's a bit difficult to explore with the limited info we have, which is kind of both an hassle to work with, but also beautiful because you can let your creativity go and make up your own headcanons, without things being set in too much canon. it's also difficult due to how different the suit culture is to us humans and also what we see from the toons which is by nature more familiar to us.

we also do not know much about suitopia, or other possible places where cogs live.

(i, personally, imagine suitopia as essentially a big country where most if not all cogs live. it has it's own regions, cities... all that. where as c.o.g.s. inc has built itself to be essentially it's own small country/community, if that makes sense. though cogs don't always only mention suitopia, at least once 'the whole world' is used. this is irrelevant tho so i won't discuss that but it's still a 'core' headcanon i have - as other things i may hc rely on this personal interpretation / headcanon.

but be aware i do not know everything is canon and can discuss things outside my realm of HCs and interpretations, but if i go deeper into like, let's say, analyzing a cog and imagining their backstory, instantly assume i'm using all these things. sorry for the side ramble, i want to make things clear for possible future reference.)

i wish it will be expanded upon slightly in the future, even a slightest crumb of what it's like out there and i can have a field day with it. i do enjoy the vagueness tho, again, as i've said we do not need to have all the information out there and it's not necessary to the main stories that are being told but MAN my brain itches for MORE. i demand EXPLANATIONS. and so i make up my own lol and i love that i can do that /gen (there's some stuff i do have an issue with that it was not explained better, but again, fixed that with hcs. talking abt atticus but im not getting into that rn)

there also may be things i am missing - i have known of ttcc's existence since it's early days, but i wasn't there for it and missed being there in person for any lore until i started playing for real in early 2023 and became a part of the community. like, there ARE things i have missed AND small details i am missing. that's one criticism i have about some info being more difficult to access now, but the main stuff is on the wiki an all luckily.

anyways that ramble out of the way... how the heck are cogs made? there's a few ways, that seem contradictory in some ways at first but i just see it as different methods.

we know cogs can change their appearances (their shell) and be "upgraded". we know cogs can even choose to be just their skelecogs (Atticus) and i suppose every other skelecog we see.) we know cogs have families and have their own kids. (cathal and bobby jr come to mind, and also belle's own kids and grandkids. not to mention, we have siblings too - thomas and robert. and their whole family drama DOES involve their unseen parents.) we know many cogs, mostly the managers, come into the company as their are - but also new parts are built, at least for the employee cogs in sellbot hq. (recently re-read the dialogue which confirmed this - literally as you're building your sellbot suit.)

we know cogs are more than just some working machines and do have deeper lives and desires and even relationships, though all instances of a parent/child relationship in ttcc have only one parent. makes sense after all they don't reproduce sexually to put it that way, again they're built and they're robots.)

it's easy to conclude, that, cogs are just built. which is true. but it just makes me wonder. we know they age. we have at least 1 cog who is a literal child, and bobby, in human years at least, looks no older than like, 8 years old. (we also don't know how cogs age. we also know cog's don't die like that, due to the whole deal with atticus. i will talk about this one day i have so many thoughts on it)

we know they grow up and even have schools - they're not programmed with everything. they earn experience as they live life and even have?? education systems? like they're more like people than we thought. (ttcc does make cogs more easily sympathized with and gives us INDIVIDUAL cogs and not just... 'The Cogs'. cogs are the focus of ttcc so of course they're developed more and are more 'human' despite being machines.)

so clearly, there's cogs like bobby. who are built young and eventually grow up. we have not seen a cog growing up yet, at least i don't think. but i wonder how that works. through cartoon logic, do they just grow up? their skelecog and perhaps their shell, too? or do they periodically get upgraded to be larger - wouldn't it make sense to built a cog as, well, an adult already? to program all these things? there may be more limits to this than we think, but also just... cultural things possibly.

the only cog CHILD (not just the child of someone - cathal's an adult. also, redd mention, but redd's adopted so he doesn't count) we ever see is bobby and, he is the child of robert, who is known to be very short. we don't know if bobby's going to grow up, or if this height is what he's just going to be like. we have one image where he's way smaller than robert, and other, more recent ones, where they're a similar heights. is that just art inconsistency due to the nature of all the (amazing) artwork being, well, volounteer work and that not everything is (or has to be) perfect? or did bobby really grow up. i'm talking about the wallet picture and the comics featuring bobby, by the way.

though, as things are, i'm sort of assuming that bobby's going to grow up or be upgraded in some way to "grow up"? i don't think we need an clear explanation for that, and in a universe like this 'cartoon logic' would be enough, but it's still something to think about.

like...how do cogs go about having kids, anyways? all instances we see are visually similar as well. cathal has the same gear for his neck as allan's body does, and they have the same head lightbulbs and wires. bobby jr and robert are both furniture.

i've always assumed that it's like in robots (the movie, that i havent watched in years which would be helpful for all this, probably.) if you decide to have a child just for the experience of raising a child, to have a legacy, or due to a bond with a partner - you literally just build one. perhaps not in the same way as in the movie - in here it definitely requires more paperwork and blueprints. but again, it's interesting to think about! hey company i want a CHILD. i look like this build them like me thanks here's some blueprints. (this also explains the amount of single parents. though belle has to have been married/is married as her honorific is listed as mrs. hey fun fact, non native english speaker here. i didnt know 'mrs' means a lady is married until like this year. i've been on this earth for 19 years.)

like the concept of family is possibly just more social there than anything. duh... can't exactly have the same oil and wires inside of you as Robots .

anyways, so that explains kids... but what about the others? some cogs don't have any families mentioned but it's not hard to assume they come from families with parents and siblings as well. what about the employee cogs? who are quite literally very disposable in a way?

we do have to take into account that after all, employee cogs we see just on and about on the streets are mostly a game mechanic, and there are some individual cogs who ARE cogs who would typically be employees cogs. (jennifer comes to mind first, she's a micromanager but also a secretary and counts as a manager. same goes for judy and so forth.)

and y'know, the game won't have a personality and backstory for each random flunky on the streets you fight. but with often they get destroyed and repaired and that there's just... so many of them! of the same model and appearance... makes you think. is that why they were made? are they truly more robotic than the others, more devoid of 'humanity'? or were they different cogs, perhaps more lower class, who's appearances were changed entirely to fit into more easily fixable and replaceable shell forms? something that's less expensive for the company and for them? i swear i am missing some details on this, but that's for me to re read the wiki and cogs ink for on my own later. (i need to have full info n everything and if i dont bring up that i know one small detail i will explode bc someone will bring it up and make me feel dumb and that's the rsd part and it's often physically painful!)

very hard to tell, i'm sort of content with my thoughts on how cogs have kids, but i hope we ever get a bit more clarity on employee cogs - though it is a bit problematic as these are the guys you beat up on the daily who don't have individual personalities.

like i'm just rambling as i go here man, it was gonna be cohesive but i'm just spitting thoughts here now. like, we have 3 seperate skelecog types - all cogs come with a skelecog like we have a skeleton so that also comes into play. it can be adjusted in ways, most notably the head and also in size. though we do have a 4 arm cog. jason please i love you /p we need more jason content. it's wacky, it's tacky - it's toontown!

fun stuff to think about but i just deep fried my brain. tdlr i guess.

how cogs made. how cogs have kids. how cogs work in general. very swag very cool. guzma cathal spades spamtongender goes on 1568854 different tangents while saying they wont aka your swagesty your adhd symptoms are showing

that's it fellas enjoy 2k words of incomprehensible rambles that i am happy to finally get out! you see the way i explain things is precisely why i almost never do it publicly and i need practice shortening things.

[blu-lewd]

1,2,3, 21, 34, 42, 44, 47 :3

-🐇

What is your most tame kink, and why do you like it?

I think breeding is probably pretty tame? Maybe biting?

For breeding: I'm infertile. So this has developed into a "kink for something I can never have" kinda scenario. I really wanna have kids, I love kids, I wanna be a dad really badly. But I'm infertile. The idea of someone having my children fills me with so much euphoria that it's just developed into a kink over time I guess. Also just... Iunno, someone looking at me and thinking "I want this man to father my children" does it too. That someone looks at me and thinks I'm good enough to have that honour, I guess. That they'd look at me and think I'd be a good father fit to raise their kids. The thought makes me happy.

As for biting, uh... feels good, reckon? I'm very hands-on (reckon "primal" is the term) so I use my hands and mouth a lot for sex. I'm bitey.

2. What is your most extreme kink, and why do you like it?

Homicide. I'm mentally ill. Amusingly I'm not a necrophile (I have no interest in fucking corpses) but the idea of fucking someone to death gives me a bit of a thrill, yeah. Unfortunately this is a kink looked down upon even in kink-positive spaces 😅

3. What kink are you most embarrassed by, and why?

I don't reckon I'm embarrassed by any of my kinks...? Though I guess the one with most capacity to ruin my life if anyone found out would be the homicide one, so reckon that.

21. What was the best orgasm you've had recently? Why was it so good?

Uhh... Iunno I got short-term memory loss (ADHD). I let my sub take the reins a few nights ago cuz I wasn't feeling it and reckon it'd be that? Or the one I had a few days ago early in the morning... I like early-morning lazy roots like that.

34. Describe your ideal sexual evening.

No preference. Like the idea of heading out on a picnic and rooting under the stars with some music playing on the radio, though.

42. Describe your most recent sex dream.

Ate out my sub while she was sleeping. That was fun. Wish the dream lasted longer.

44. Describe your orgasms.

Uhhh... Well that's hard. They're never really that intense (yay nerve damage). I've never had an earth-shattering one like you hear people talking about. It's a whole lotta nothing for about 20 minutes and then the last three minutes or so is when I can actually feel it build fast and hard. Then it hits like a brick and I'm left sucking wind for a minute or two. If it's the last round of the night I usually pass out right after for 2-5 minutes and then wake back up and resume whatever I was doing. If it's not the last round I stay aware and just gotta catch my breath. Usually takes three for me to reach the sleepy stage but that really depends on how much I'm physically exerting myself.

Also I usually come dry, so. At least I don't really have to worry about cleanup.

47. Where on your body do you enjoy being stimulated, that is not typically used for sexual stimulation? Have you ever had an orgasm from it?

Uh... nipples? And my hair. I like my hair being petted/pulled a lot. And my arms. When I'm rooting someone and they grab my bicep? It's great. Also like people touching my beard. My girlfriend hooked me onto that—she liked my beard and used to pet it relentlessly. After sex that shit'd put me to sleep immediately.

I've never come from anything except persistent attention to my cock (see the above—it takes a good 15 minutes at least, but usually at least twenty).

[Link to ask game.]

[disordercinema]

Tagged by the amazing @zapatism to make a list of 13 songs I've been listening to lately and I love tag games do here we go:

It's Golden Hour Somewhere by Lovejoy - my dudes popped off with this one, Lenin meets emo boys in the digital age.

A Dios Le Pido by Juanes - one of the nicest discoveries I had this year, really nice song, the rythym is dancey and the lyrics are dope as fuck.

My Love Mine All Mine by Mistki - it is now part of my playlists of songs that sound like love, forever. Mitski popped off with the whole album but this one AAAAAAA.

Por você by Barão Vermelho - this one I got from a fanfic of two gay dudes in the late 2000s, and I... Yeah... It's a good one.

Euthanasia by Will Wood - this year was Will Wood's year for me and why does this man have so many songs about Death? Why do I listen to so many songs about Death? On that note...

Old Black Train (Over the Garden Wall Soundtrack) - Death allegory? Country/Folk melody? Count me in, chief.

Last Hope by Paramore - when I was 13 and I found this song for the first time I had no idea what the lyrics meant because my english wasn't that fully polished yet to pick up lyrics from songs without reading them, but I felt a connection with it. 10 years later I found the album again and started to listen and I think of how much it resonates with me nowadays and I have become very ill about it and its impact on my live.

二十歳の恋 by Lamp - I sit. I put on this song. I black out for 30 minutes. I come back wishing I had lived another life with a nice husband in a humble house in the rural area, raising 3 children and a cat.

Duality by Slipknot - I'm 13 years old and emo again, no excuses.

Comedy by Gen Hoshino - I didn't clock out it was Spy x Family's opening till like 2 months after I started listening to it and developed a whole dependency on this song, now I feel silly.

Tacones Rojos by Sebastian Yatra - AY UN RAYO DE LUZ QUE ENTRÓ POR MI VENTANA Y ME HA DEVUELTO LAS GANAS ME QUITÓ AL DOLOR 📢📢📢

Valsinha by Chico Buarque - the man has got me by the guts and twisted them until I felt like I could not live without this song.

Sea of Love by Cat Power - I am always listening to this song. I will never stop. This song will be played while I'll be cremated and when they throw my ashes in the Amazon River someone better blast it on their phone too.

This was really fun, so I'm gonna taag... @corrupted-willy @humanaaa @mlnmo @tetrafelino and but anyone who wants is welcomed to do this too!!

[nitrokiraru]

finished the final chapter of uuultrac! (and on the last route finally figured out how to get rid of the text box LOL)

as always thoughts and spoilers under the cutttt

man. ill say my thoughts abt the entirety of this vn later but this route was PAIN (in a good way)

juurou and yomi probably have the most complicated relationship in the whole dam game. first of all. yomi is apparently a weird alien lookin EYE thing which is a little complicated there. second of all it had the "i have to push you away..." trope which kills me everytime and juurou is just like well no. idc what i have to do im gonna be with you. crazy how chapter 1 and 2 had these like happy endings where they get to b happy together and then they just throw you a god damn CURVEBALL on the very last one. to be honest i cant exactly grasp what actually happened in this ending but it broke me regardless. good stuff

ok to talk abt things besides the depression i received from the angst i wanna go to a lighter note and say that the icarus squad is hilarious and i love them. also love this cg a lot yomi's tummy has me thinking nefarious thoughts that i cannot disclose.

i also rly liked tarou he was SO adorable. hes just a little guy.

also love how every route connects because i got to hear akira gush abt shou to the icaruses... im very not normal about akishou so i loved hearing abt him talk abt his "gf" to the group and being like !!!!!!!!!!!! HES TALKING ABT SHOU!!!!!!!! I KNOW THAT GUY

to review the entire game, i actually loved this so much. genuinely think it is one of my new favorites. everyone's chemistry, the humor, the soundtrack, the amazing cg art, the lovable characters; everything just WORKS i got attached with just chapter 1. ive said this a few times before but i rly think that after playing this and hashihime, i like uuultra c a lot better. not that hashihime is bad, i just think kurosawa improved a lot when it comes to the art and storytelling

if i were to rank the routes in this game i think it would be 1 = 2 > 3. I liked chapter 1 a lot, reason being because Akira is my favorite character and i also really like akishous dynamic. I like 2 about the same amount, with 3 falling a bit behind just because of some parts that i felt nitpicky about so im not gonna mention them, but regardless as a whole it is a really good vn. technically it's more of a kinetic novel but idk im still gonna call it a vn #lazy

definitely going to revisit this later, maybe replaying a chapter once in a while. i almost wish it was longer bc now i just miss the characters LOL

[bi-kisses]

can you acknowledge every point in this instead of saying things like “just accept them shitlord”? i could say “are you capable of this” but i dont even feel like being rude to a person i chose to debate with. you have a discourse account yourself so similar principle applies

“look at the sources in my bio"

this may be a time waster (i mean, i don't since i like discourse) since your sources refer to the brain snd i don't support the idea that gender is decided by brain characteristics and, yes, likely never will. i have looked into a lot of brain studies and general trans studies an embarrassing amount as transgenderism was unfortunately my special interest. ill admit, my opinion is pretty much set unless these studies prove other studies ive seen wrong or have some really big findings in them, but i would like to say my thoughts after looking at them

the first link that actually links to a study:

the second link that actually links the study:

the third link to a study actually leads to one though:

white matter pattern in female to malesis closer to males than females, but i would never say this means they are men myself. and i think i always would have suspected there was more to this. i hate that studies are paywalled too. its not important here but i wish i could see the full study. this study also references other previously done studies that found that the trans women studied have brain characteristics close to women's and men's. you do acknowledge on the page with you links that you aren't presenting the idea of "trans men have male brains" or whatever, so you understand that not all characteristics line up with their identity. but saying a woman is actually a man due to some of their brain characteristics aligning with men's and some also aligning with women's doesn't make sense.

this specific study also referenced ray blanchard. people say his studies proving that trans women often have fetishes for being a woman aren't real, but the studies proving transgender is just another variant of real men and women are real. but they come from the same field of work and are featured in the same science journals. he also worked at a clinic that helped transgenders but according to those people, he hates trans people. this specific study referencing him shows that these studies about brain characteristics are not the end all

1) I've already responded to your points. Going "nuh uh" back and forth forever isn't a debate. You disagree with me, nothing i can do about that.

2) this "discourse blog" I run isnt an obligation for me to spend my time on every dumbass who thinks they're the one who will blow this whole evil trans thing out of the water. I hardly debate ANYONE anymore. This is more of a "controversial topics + LGBT issues" blog than an arguments blog.

3) thank you, sincerely, for pointing out my links are broken. That's lame as hell and I'll have to hunt down working versions. You'd think archiving a page would mean this doesn't happen, and yet....

In conclusion, if you insist on pushing for me to play toys with you despite my clear disinterest, I will simply block you. Good day to you.

[zippverschluss]

ep 9 notes

haven't checked the tag yet, need to sort through / document my thoughts first.

i'm a bit... disappointed, i guess? but i think that's owed to my expectations. after a week of collective theorizing i was (not so) secretly hoping for a sauruman VS gandalf style face off and so what we got felt a bit... pedestrian?

so i guess the gardener did hurt him after all, just not the 'shears-in-your-body' kind of inury? i honestly thought he'd stick to stalking.

speaking of which, i'll be disappointed if it's really garden dude using nayeon and not the other way round. nayeon being skilled in black magic and just using / playing men left and right to reach her own various ends and satisfy her needs would have elevated the character immensely. feels a bit disrespectful tbh.

speaking of disrespect, i suspected as much, but still... how can they have the mother not know? like honestly? how can her asshole husband tell the woman his son just broke up with about the illness but not his wife? i reeeaaally want hj to hex him... like, make him step on a lego everyday of his life. or have shampoo get into his eyes. something like that.

back in ep. 3 when sy saw hj in the dress and just last episode, we focused on his right hand. same happend during the proposal scene in ep. 5 and yesterday in the hospital with nayeon. i guess that holds significance?

were sy and ny ever intimate with each other?

i liked how they filmed the nightmare hj had.

also, how ambigious jg still feels. though i'm leaning towards ally who hasn't realized yet that he missed his shot. (also, does jg know the mayor is dirty? the mayor is dirty, right? playing footsie with the haum ceo? is that why he poached sy? to take on the mayor? and if he doesn't know, doesn't that just really undercut his character?)

did garden dude hit sy with some magic to make him black out? did that magic bring back his past memories? i thought he remembered when he woke up in the hospital.

but then i really don't understand the artistic decision process behind the scene in front of the hospital. that scene made (makes) me think i must be mistaken? how can he remember loving / killing her 300 years ago and the first thing he asks about is the in house messenger? (yeah, i know, he wanted her to go back on her word...) but even if he wanted to not let on, where were the longing / pining / loving eyes from last episode? the whole thing just felt very bland and weird.

also, poor rowoon. they obvs. didn't find hospital pants long enoug for him.

also, pls. don't push sick / hospitalized people. you don't know what tubes / needles they have sticking in or out of them. drama writers, find other ways to initiate physical touch. (just as lazy as drunk alley dude in ep 2).

i cared about ma and go for the first time. that scene was funny. i don't appreciate that once again show insinuates that a man is needed to keep a home in order, but since ma is freshly divorced it is plausible. for a moment i thought he was gonna choke her out or pass out himself. lol

also, re the hug, 'what kind of man asks that beforehand?'. the kind that respects boundaries and gives you the chance to say no? uncool ma, uncool show.

i guess no tentative friendships at work, but passive-aggressiveness?

loved the fireworks and the traditional music. was my favourite part of the episode. that slapped. wished they would have kept that music for the romantic scene.

there's still the option that him wholeheartedly embracing his feelings for hj brought upon the past memories. in which case that must be one long-ass hug. still, i'd prefer that scenario over the hospital-dream one. embracing his feelings because he remembers cheapens it a bit imo. its prob. the latter though seeing how he asked his mom about past lives.

his parents' bickering is getting on my nerves.

this episode felt really disjointed. i understand the cuts / edits were to not reveal too much, but at this point i'm just really annoyed by it.

for that reason bridge scene didn't have the impact it prob. should have had since i wasn't really sure what was going on?

spell scene too short, dress not as strange / pretty. but loved the music. also, what spell did she use? seduction?

i liked the child actors surprisingly much. i liked it even more that already as a child she had shaman capabilities.

i know tall people fall in love too, but man those hugs looked uncomfortable.

there's many other thoughts in my head but lastly: i guess only him remembers the past out of the two of them. i don't like that. at all. after 8 episodes it finally felt like they were on somewhat even footing when it came to knowledge about magic, spells, curses.... having only him remember once again means he knows more and is the proactive one, whereas she is only reacting and being driven by him. (but, if only him remembers, how can we as an audience see the things that only she can know? being brought to the shaman as a child? her premunition of the bloody hand?)

on that note, i hope the next kiss is initiated by hj. would be nice to see her express her desires / feelings. 3 kisses in and it's always him planting one on her. reciprocity is hot!! gimme gimme gimme!

[progmetol]

Engineer HCs #2

The Gunslinger and OCD Edition (trust me, they’re related). Below the cut

After like, a year, I have wrote the long awaited (not) sequel to my first post and wish to discuss these two topics. Starting with the Gunslinger. Which if you are reading this, I will assume you are familiar with its lore. But to tl;dr, it was a prosthetic hand designed by Dell’s grandfather, Radigan Conagher, who’s design for it was buried with him. Dell eventually unearthed this schematic when Blutarch Mann did a little grave robbing, and then it is heavily *implied* that Dell sliced his own hand off so that he could wear a Gunslinger of his own making.

But as emphasized, this is just an implication: is it true? Who knows. But I propose a couple of twists that could be applied to this idea that do not invalidate it.

1. What if Dell actually didn’t cut his hand off, but simply CLAIMS he did? I propose that it is far more likely that Dell might have accidentally lost his hand outside of the proximity of base where it would be nonrecoverable. Considering Dell’s rationality and practical mindset, he would absolutely know that cutting his hand off is a bad idea, which makes the idea of it being an accident plausible.

Dell suffers with anxiety and accompanying insecurities when it comes to things outside of his intelligence (hc). His appearance, his personality, etc. His whole life he was primarily praised for his academic prowess and intelligence, which made him more insecure about his less oft complimented parts. Especially when he works around two egomaniacs daily (Spy and Medic). Is Dell going to admit he made a mistake and lost his hand? No. He chooses to tell the team that he did it deliberately to hide weakness. And though the more mentally sound, at first, raise an eyebrow, they realize they are surrounded by maniacs and perhaps not everyone is as they seem, even the Engineer. They presume he is ill like the rest and go about their days. OR they believe his bullshit, you decide. I think it’d be more on a case by case basis. Spy thinks he’s crazy, Soldier thinks this is some 4D chess play… you get the drill.

And then 2. The idea behind the second origin story is that Dell, indeed, DID cut his hand off in an abrupt and impulsive act to redeem himself. With the same insecurities from above in mind, Dell often has obsessions that he is not up to the standards he could be— and impulsively jumps to irrationality. Like cutting your hand off to be like your successful super genius grandfather. And immediately regretting it and spiraling into a short lived depression. What fun.

But he lives and learns. This was a wake up call to Dell, knowing he was mentally unwell if he acted on an intrusive thought of this caliber. Not to show weakness, he embraces his mistakes. Sure, Medic could maybe have fixed it, but this was Dell’s fault alone and he’d carry the weight of his consequences. A reminder to keep himself in check, mentally and physically. And that being perfect is not a reasonable expectation for anyone, even an astute man such as himself.

Now as for both of these headcanons, I am not certain which I myself abide by, despite having came up with both. Though for a long time I liked the first one, the second one has become very intriguing to me. So I’d like to see what y’all think, or if y’all have any different ideas. There’s a lot more depth that could be put into this but for the sake of an articulate post I tried to omit any unnecessary wordiness.

Have fun.

[camprell-art]

Redrew some old Ocs!

They're from a story that I started to write when I was 14. :)

(Which is actually 2 stories that I made into only one, the first being "Edgar Mouret (2014-15)" the life of a 27 year old schizophrenic gravedigger and "Flowers of a Blood Garden (2016-17)", a story told by a serial killer who thinks that he should kill everyone he loves).

It got a lot of changes as the years passed, creating "The Gentleman of the East End", which kept the whole serial killer thing, but instead of his loved ones now he kills prostitutes to write their stories as crime novels + Edgar's story that would show the sadness of living with a mental illness so painful as schizophrenia in a time that didn't have all the advancements needed to fully treat it.

And as I never really did a lot with it I was thinking about changing the plot again.

Now it's technically a Victorian Era sitcom (and I won't actually make it accurate, me and my sister were joking about Violetta liking Britney Spears skjadh)

Here's a brief summary of the "start" of the story:

"Vinicio and Violetta are twins and they're from a wealthy family, the Bianchi, their father has a textile factory and wants Vinicio to be the heir to it, but wanting to become a writer he decides to run away and start living in a very poor part of London, where no one would find him.

One day he meets Emily and Oliver, who are orphans, the two found his house when running through the alleys near the docks, and after thinking it was abandoned, they decided to try and make that their new home. Vinicio finds them in the piano room, the children were already terrified by the thought of him kicking them out, but to their surprise, he just stares and declares that there's nothing there for them to steal, Oliver not wanting to be associated to a burglar is infuriated, but Emily, noticing that Vinicio means no harm, tries to explain why they entered his house uninvited.

After hearing their story and noticing how fragile they seemed, he leads the children to the kitchen, where he prepares a simple soup for them. Emily and Oliver do notice that his plates and silverware are really pretty and expensive looking, and both of them start speculating that he's a rich man in disguise, keeping this thought to themselves they just ask for his name.

"Leonard", he says, and nothing more. The girl could tell he was a very cold man, but more than anything, a little shy.

After finishing their lunch, they're ready to leave the house, Emily's last wish, however, is to hear the man playing the piano, Vinicio asks her what song she wanted to hear, she is reminded of when her mother used to sing for them to sleep, not knowing the name of the song, she decides to sing for the man.

As she sings the first notes, his eyes close, and sooner than expected he calls the children to the room they once were. Vinicio sits on the stool and prepares himself, playing Chopin's Nocturne opus 9, number 2. He plays with emotion, which makes the children wonder what was in his mind, this is intensified by his silence when finishing the song.

Emily thanks him, saying that if their mother was there she would have loved listening to it, and then the children decide to leave. Vinicio stops them, telling the name of the song, so that they can ask for it when they return. Both of them are surprised by what they hear, asking happily "We can return"?!, to which Vinicio confirms that yes, they can return to his house, but they need to knock before entering and don't abuse of his hospitality, he would feed them and let them sleep there, but mostly important, he would try to find a family for them, as children should not live by themselves in the streets like stray dogs. He also gives them some money, so they can go out and buy some fruits and maybe candy. They give him a big hug for his generosity, Vinicio doesn't really know how to react to this, receiving their affection with a somewhat tense body, but gives them a pat to the head, after that Emily and Oliver leave his house.

Now alone with his thoughts, the man sits in an armchair and a tad nervous, thinks about his decision, now he had some serious responsibilities, despite that, it was the right thing to do, after all, that's what Violetta would do if she was in his place".

[cielsosinfel]

here are my thoughts on all BG3 companions up through the end of Act 1 and very beginning of Act 2:

Astarion: light of my life, I am actually spoiled for probably 95% of his story, he is such a disgusting and rancid poor little meow meow and I want to see him grievously mutilated and tortured and then gently put back together again (repeat). As a faggy bi man he is the best #representation I have seen yet from mainstream media lmao. If i speak too much about him this whole post will be about him, sorry. Guro noncon yandere kink fanfic material out the wazoo, tho (Also of course I have many many thoughts on his character's narrative around trauma and healing or the lack thereof, but, too many words)

Shadowheart: I LOOOOVE HER I love her. I kind of wish they'd kept her as initially hostile and cruel as in EA after viewing video of it, but I also enjoy how she seems low-key and almost normal, though an asshole, and then BAM suddenly she's waxing poetic about committing terrifying emotional and physical torture in the name of her beloved mommy goddess. She is such an asshole and I feel like she gets soft on the PC weirdly fast, but I also do enjoy how playing Dark Urge informs the relationship dynamic as her backstory and personality unfolds, how the fact she becomes Best Friends with them despite the whole blackout-frenzied-murder and urges to eat corpses plays into her own issues and desire for understanding and connection (the memory loss and disconnect from her previous life and sense of self, the god devotion, wanting to make herself an even worse person in the name of her god, how completely committed she is in the art of torture and causing suffering, how she's simultaneously disgusted by and intrigued by Dark Urge's whole murder cannibalism urges.) Anyway yes she's great, I love her turmoil about not living up to her potential as a Shar-loving religious zealot and expert torturer.

Wyll: Wylllllllllll I feel like he was done so dirty by the writers between Early Release and Release. They should have continued to let him be an asshole warring with living up to heroic ideals, who just made a deal with a demon out of desperation for respect and appreciation. But he's fun in release too, just too low-key for me? With Dark Urge it's interesting because he is truly the most morally Good-Aligned party-member, probably, and I think about how he must grapple his morals with aiding and growing close to a murderous gore-loving freak. He's constantly having to compromise his own deeply-held ideals in the name of getting the tadpole out of his head, and I wonder about that constantly. At the same time, he's so focused on doing good and the cause of justice but is REALLY REALLY DOWN FOR GOBLIN MASS-MURDER... Like OK Wyll!! They kept that from Early Access at least lmao. His relationship with Mizora and the angst and regret he feels at signing a contract with her, for making this one major ill-thought decision while in a high-stress "do or die" situation, gets me, the way he's like, so resigned to it... How he's so resigned to being transformed into the very thing he'd dedicated his life to culling existence of (demons.) (The constant metaphors to being a pampered pet on a leash get to me.) Though you know, it still gets me he's lamenting how ugly he looks with horns, claws and fangs, in the middle of a party full of Tiefling who just faced a lot of life-threatening discrimination for looking like demons... lmao... especially when he's venting these things to a Tiefling Durge lmao... oh wyll...... Anyway I think he's sweet, and I have even more thoughts on him and Astarion being foils who need to fuck. I want to learn more about his daddy issues so I can give him a proper daddy kink. Wow, how is this the longest part of this post.

OK THIS GOT TOO LONG AND ITS ONLY THREE CHARACTERS!!!! I am going to an indie comics and arts festival today, I will come back to do the rest of the characters later.

[sugar-omi]

HI IM AN INSANE BAXSTAN AND SWIFTIE AND UR RYT MR PERFECTLY FINE HAS IMMENSE BAXMC POTENTIAL

while i think its not Unlikely for mc to forgive baxter within the span of the dlc, i DO think theyre not given enough options to feel complicated abt it. u pretty much have to decide how to feel from the start, and arent given a lot of room to change ur mind. For example, my mc Anne is a very forgiving person, especially with bax bc she understands his need to be entertaining & liked. HOWEVER she starts the dlc off thinking "ok if hes gonna be distant i can do that" but then when he jokes with xavier shes like "well im CONFUSED now and i need answers" and shes irritated, but also still likes him. after the bowling she hugs him and is still like confused, but again likes him still. by the time shes baking with him, shes both confused and endeared with him but is kinda harsh with him, even when hes apologizing at the wedding.

All this to say; its not UNREALISTIC mc would forgive in that timespan, its just the lack of complexity mc is or is not afforded that makes it feel too fast. additionally, while u do get to be mad, theres no real moderation for it, and no way to be like "this is a start, but it will take time to trust him fully again". so yeah, it feels rushed and personally i think it was rushed to be released due to whatever reasons (either not caring abt baxter or wanting to work on olnf, who knows)

anyway, i would go on about baxters dlc and its shortcomings for hours if given a chance so for now ill just call it here <3 signed, 🌸Anon

YES YES I AGREE

i do think there was a lotta effort n good stuff but into baxter, and i also havent replayed it since they updated some stuff so maybe its a bit better since release

but i do agree i think the emotional range is very limited its either "idc anymore", "im mad", "i look back fondly", "im pretty sad abt it", n all that stuff n its just pretty straight forward in whatever you choose

i think step 4 is a bit short? maybe?

BUT I ALSO THINK ITS PRETTY FLESHED OUT, now i haven't acted professional w baxter, i tried but i just didnt have time to go through w the route. but there are options!!! its just one and done i think so its kinda like, you cant express How conflicted you are

bc realistically id be so sad but i also hold a grudge so id be like "yeah you say you love me n all that n i GET IT but also im scared"

BUT I ALSO THINK ITS BC WE ARE PLAYING IT WITH SEVERAL HOURS??? like MC has 5 years to get through the emotions, but the time between him saying "see you never!!!" and "omg hi, i miss u but u dont need me but i miss u?!?!!?!" is like less than 5 minutes so.....

LITERALLY I WAS PLAYING IT THE FIRST TIME N I WAS LIKE "you bastard, fuck you. i hate you. stfu. YOURE SO CUTE. you ASSHOLE. i am going to KISS YOU. i want to slap you so fucking bad right now"

like pls i was freaking out during my first playthru

i think baxter's dlc was more focused on the "i am hurt" and "i have XYZ reasons for being like this" and it goes through all that and its less "lets work through your complex feelings/this is how you reacted when we met again bc you felt/feel very conflicted and now we will work thru it"

BAXTER DLC IS LITERALLY "I CAN FIX HIM" OMFG

but honestly i like the baxter dlc better than the derek dlc bc i HATED how "i can do everything by myself!!!!" derek was in step 2 and how sibling focused it was, i man i still loved it of course but i wish derek n mc had more 1 on 1 time

and then in step 4 it was like "i missed out on everything, i feel shitty n im sorry!" and mc just.... idk maybe i need to play it again but i was still mad derek ghosted for a whole step n then it was still very family focused, and while i loved that as well

i just wanted more derek by himself, i wanted to pamper him n love him n just yk

idk, all the dlc's are so good but i do think the forgiveness is very quick which makes sense bc they're making ol2 but man, i would love if it was just double the length or half that to just flesh it out some bc i wanted some sweet moments w the boys as well :(((

ANYWAY YES I DO AGREE ITS NOT UNREALISTIC

just unrealistic for ppl like me who take 2-3 years to get over wtf happened and another 2 to actually settle in my decision to forgive 😂😂 but even then, if i had 5 years to get over it i could prbly forgive him after a lot of crying and a bit of screaming LMAO

[single-malt-scotch]

ok well. floodgates opened.

​tbh the main things thats been on my mind in terms of meta discussion has been how Gem talked about how much of a 'yes and' guy Bdubs is and how hes good at it.

i donno man! i donno why this is so on my mind. of course i love Bdubs so any compliments towards the man makes me happy. but from my view of 1) writing fic 2) breaking down meta 3) analyzing how he acts in settings esp Life series..... the blatant compliment and acknowledgement of his improvising nice but also interesting to hear! Honestly there is very little said openly about 'improv' in these things (Impulse mentioned it in his behind the scenes stream too). something i wish was talked of more as i would love to hear their thoughts (....esp Bdubs)

and taking a look at Bdubs specifically to apply this knowledge to.... I think me and many others are pretty aware of how much Bdubs puts on an act. He's not a character in that sense of different name/history/personality/etc etc. He's Him, he's Bdubs, and hes outstanding at playing his role. But what I like to think about is- where is the line between unexpected reaction and willing improv? Gem goes into Limlife knowing it'd be funny to say Scar is her favorite son, and do so more as Bdubs gets annoyed. Okay, yes, they're all playing their little family game and of course Bdubs knows Gem is doing A Thing by saying Scar is her favorite.

But you know we know it's not just one and the other right? What is so lovely about the format of MCYT that you struggle to get anywhere else is you don't know half the time which is which because they fade into eachother constantly. Maybe there was a laugh at the initial 'scar is my favorite', but maybe then there was a genuine 'hey hold on why are you only talking about scar?', and a realization of 'oh okay, ill play into this'. That is the flow Bdubs can fall into so naturally. Gem knew she was giving bait, and Bdubs took it because its what he does best.

Last Life has so many examples even if it may seem like Bdubs is leading many times. From their arguments in the snow fort to Grian's conversation leading to "he loves me". His outbursts and impulsiveness and every seemingly stupid decision. To be clear, its not the 'yes and' attitude making him do something stupid, its the 'yes and' that follows after. He slides into it so well. Ren the king arc? oh don't even get me started.

And.. honestly? Etho's whole dynamic with Bdubs IS a "yes and" to me. The whole thing. Bdubs will ALWAYS fall back to Etho because Etho's actions offers up a "yes and" in Bdubs eyes that he will have to feed on. With every tease, every comment, every push. Its like Bdubs has to run with it every time because its what he does from his perspective of improv. and theyve been friends for ten years. and they just cant not fuck with each other. the cycle.

ok i think thats enough

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 38: Junkyard Street

Bro, my heart is not ready.

Alibaba just says that, yeah, Cassim's the real leader of the Fog Troupe, but it seems like he'd always wanted Alibaba to lead... Nah, he didn't. He wanted Alibaba to be bright & catch attention, and to control him from the shadows, probably.

Bro, I'm so sad. Look at him grinning.

Honestly, back to smart Alibaba, the whole tunnel thing. Thinking outside the box and all that.

I love them, but also shoutout to that kid on bottom-right stealing the flag while these two are busy fighting.

AGH

: (

Literally all of this is sad, and then there's Alibaba being jealous abt his mom being stolen, lmao. Also, man he's so casual about death here, just, yea, idk what happened, maybe he ran, maybe he killed himself, who knows.

Not that he desevred anything better, but still. Death must've been such a common occurrence in the slums.

Agh. Look at them. Alibaba's living his best life, Anise is always smiling, Mariam is so happy, and Cassim's so awkward it's all so precious. Also, I suddenly remembered that Cassim propsed to Anise like 3 times, lmao. But UGH they were a FAMILY

So, I guess Alibaba watched it happen?

But also, agh, look at Cassim's expression ;_;

Other than that, I'm thinking again abt Aibaba doing something similar for Aladdin in his introduction chapter, like, I wish we knew more about Anise. How much of Alibaba came from her?

Like, bro, what's there to say, I'm just sitting here, being sad. Also, do you guys think Alibaba might have some trauma related to illnesses? I usually hc that he does, I mean, the slums in general, but also literally his mom, his father, then as he finds out, Mariam... Everybody in his family died out of illness, except for Cassim, who'd killed himself. Jesus.

Everybody's moms are dead, except for that one who should be dead.

UGHHHH

Honestly, pretty cool that they were helped out.

Ugh, baby.

And that goddamn horn gets me.

: (

No, but seriously. He later gets mad at Alibaba for not doing all that stuff... Alibaba was willing to do, except Cassim told him no. Like, bro, you're sending him mixed signals.

Alibaba: Can I help steal?

Cassim: No

Cassim, some time later, angry: You live such a proper life, you never steal, you never-

Alibaba's hair looks so messy, Cassim's self-loathing hits pretty hard, but here I'll offer you something somewhat silly.

Like, it's better in the anime, cuz Cassim says "you should live a respectable life like your mother", which Alibaba very much could have taken as "have you considered becoming a prostitute?" And I just find it kinda funny.

Why must you hurt me that way

Also, Cassim looks like he hadn't slept well in days. Probably exactly what happened, tbh.

I wonder why.

Merry Crisis

And I've always liked that choice to have Rashid be just a faceless silhouette from Alibaba's perspective here. Father is for emotional distance, lmao.

He wanted Cassim to tell him to stay : ( But no one ever tells him to stay : (

Ugh, I am being destroyed by this chapter again.

1 - BRO YOU LITERALLY TOLD HIM NOT TO and 2 -

AGH

;_;

It's both sad and silly at the same time.

Also, it's now that I realize that he probably has a black eye, that's why he looks like that.

Man, this makes so sad. And also. FATHER IS FOR EMOTIONAL DISTANCE

Like, Rashid was a shit father. A pretty good king, a good mentor, but a shit father. He just kind of. Wasn't there. For any of his sons. According to SnB he left the first two for their mother to care for, then was disappointed they didn't turn out how he wanted them to. And you also get the impression that he started searching for Alibaba bc he gave up on these two. Which is shitty for them, and shitty for Alibaba. He had his life turned upside down, because Rashid was too busy playing around in other nations & teaching the one kid that wasn't his, than actually making sure his country has proper heirs.

Like, don't get me wrong, I actually like Rashid, all of these things make him interesting, but a good parent award is definitely not for him.

sordboy

Sth I keep on forgetting is that Alibaba never liked swordplay.

He didn't hate economy in practice, tho. And didn't hate reading, too, especially the stories about Dungeons.

Progress!

Weird fate shit.