#and the whole idea isn’t my cup of tea personally

[sweetest-honeybee]

If Eddie is trans in the Crime Puppets AU, does that mean the murder husbands can have murder kids some time in the future?

I mean. Fuckin. I dunno ??? 😂

[peachsayshi]

Hello can I request a part 5 for the inexperienced reader where they finally do the deed? Thank you and I really love all your writings. You’re amazing!

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄ playboy geto x inexperienced female reader (part 4) ⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

wc: 7,712

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰ previous parts: 1/2/3/4

minors / ageless blogs / blank blogs - do not interact.

notes: hi, nonnie! I haven't posted the official part 4 for playboy geto x reader, so here is an update! part 5 is the final part of this mini series and I am still figuring out the scenario for the big moment. I had this idea in my head and really wanted to write out. I hope you enjoy the update!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tags: other jjk characters are mentioned, virgin reader; lovesick geto & reader; hurt/comfort; the first fight; making up; smut; oral (f receiving); nipple play; overstimulation; fingering; practice makes perfect *wink wink*

There’s a downpour outside - a peaceful shower trapping you in a cocoon of stillness. Grey clouds collide, orchestrating a rumble of thunder to disperse across the horizon. You squeeze the glass of tea in your hand and breathe out a heavy sigh as you continue observing the waves crashing onto the shore in the distance.

Standing in pensive thought, you find yourself contemplating why the sky isn’t a saturated blue, and why you are not wiping away grains of sand between your toes while tasting the salt in the air and getting kissed by the sun in the red bikini that you are wearing.

This is your first weekend away with Suguru and it was supposed to be perfect…magical even, but…

You haven’t exchanged more than a few of sentences with him in two whole days.

The truth forms as a discomforting lump in your throat. At this point you’re convinced that the turbulent events of this week is what conjured up such a dreadful storm to hijack your mini vacation, and you’ve been a bundle of nerves ever since because you’ve never had a fight with him before.

Not a real one, anyway.

Whenever a situation got remotely tense, your boyfriend would be the first person to jump in to talk things out. Suguru hated having petty arguments and always relied on strong communication to put out any fires before they set everything ablaze. You know it’s entirely unfair to put that expectation on him but, the truth is, you’ve grown used to him mediating, and depended on him to squash potential disagreements without question.

What you weren’t expecting was for things to escalate between you two because it’s never happened before, and now you aren’t sure how to proceed.

What if he leaves me?

The nauseating thought of a potential break up twists your gut, but you brush off your anxiety as you lift the cup to your lips and take another sip of soothing chamomile.

Couples fight, you think, it’s normal to fight.

Your fingers pinch the ceramic so hard, you feel it might crack from the pressure. You’ve tried to reach out since then, but Suguru remained unresponsive to your little gestures of peace.

Why is he still ignoring me?

You lean your head against the window and exhale, eyes fixated on the storm’s dramatic performance. A bolt of lighting crackles across the sky, channeling you back to the night on Suguru’s sofa just two weeks prior.

His fingers were trailing the outline of your thigh, keeping your body tucked perfectly into his frame. You were twirling a strand of his onyx hair between your fingers, listening to him proposition the idea of the weekend trip away.

“Yuki is one of my oldest friends. She lives in a beach house, so that’s where we will all stay…” he casually stated. “We visit her a couple of times a year, and I know she would love to meet you.”

You said yes without hesitation.

At the time, there was no need for you to question who Yuki was or how Suguru knew her. There was no need for you to pry deeper into the memories of his past because you were just living in the bubble of present happiness.

“We used to spend every summer at her beach house while I was in university,” Suguru informed you a few days later, slipping in that tidbit of information right after describing all the places he was excited to take you to. “I love that her beach house is so far away from the city. Plus, they have the best soba in the village. You’ll love it, I just know you will…”

This deep infatuation you shared for Suguru had your heart swelling up more often around him. Your valves were arrows to a compass that always spun directly towards him, your shining North Star. Your eyes were glazed over in a rosy shine of deep romance, making it hard for you to blink away the hue of its affection, but you should have taken a breath to catch yourself.

Maybe then you wouldn’t have reacted so harshly later on.

The ”problem”, as Suguru dubs it, happened two days before the trip.

Shoko invited you to join her and Utahime on a shopping date to pick up some new swim suits for the occasion. However, you weren’t expecting to see Mei Mei upon arrival. Your friendship with Shoko made it easier for you to blend in with the rest of Suguru’s group, but Mei always kept you at an arm’s length. For the most part, you approached any interactions with her with caution. You made sure you were nice and didn’t try to pursue anything beyond cordial conversations. Despite your attempts at playing cool, Mei continued making snide remarks about you being “Suguru’s Girl” and enjoyed addressing you condescendingly.

Truthfully, she treated you as if you were simply a stranger with one foot out the door and not the person who was in a committed relationship with her friend.

Your eyes, powdered with pink infatuation, had you feeling indifferent about her sharp tongue on this particular outing, and it made you loosely speak up about how excited you were to go on this trip with your boyfriend.

Your walls were completely down when Mei went in with a new attack while you were all having dinner together.

“It’s adorable how excited you are. Besides, I think it’s about time that you met Kiki…” she giggled, earning a glare from both Shoko and Utahime.

“Kiki?” you replied like a naive child, all wide eyed with an innocent pinch between your brow.

“Suguru didn’t tell you?” Mei coos as she proceeds to take a sip of her milkshake. “That’s his special nickname for Yuki. The two of them used to spend their summers together getting high and fucking. She was his first, you know…”

Your cheeks were stinging with embarrassment. You glanced over to both Shoko and Utahime, praying that one of them would denounce Mei’s confession.

Instead, Shoko shook her head with disapproval and simply added, “we all know that it wasn’t serious…”

“Wasn’t serious?” Mei interjected, her cruel eyes fixed on you. “Suguru was in love with her…”

“He wasn’t in love with her,” Shoko sternly answered. “They were friends. Don’t make up stories in your head”

Mei swirled her straw around her vanilla milkshake. “We are his friends too but that didn’t stop him from hooking up with us either. The only difference is that Yuki is the one who broke his heart afterwards. Suguru didn’t speak to her for an entire year...”

“How about you don’t stir up problems for no reason, Mei.” Utahime bit back, and Mei responded by rolling her eyes with mild disinterest.

“I’m not saying anything that isn’t true. Everyone at this table, except Shoko, hooked up with Suguru at one point,” she let out a pretty laugh, one laced with wicked intent. “Maybe this is something we can all bond over at the beach house. Compare notes and what not…”

“How about we dial back the bitchy attitude and put the subject to rest” Shoko interjected, and Mei merely huffed before sipping her milkshake with nonchalance.

Hot, heavy jealousy coiled around your skin, and you used every ounce of restraint not to pick up Mei’s drink and toss it right in her face. By the time your brain was able to connect the dots to formulate even a single sentence, the conversation swiftly moved onto another subject.

You reached for your soda, slurping the icy beverage in an attempt to cool yourself off.

This isn’t the first time that Suguru’s friends have made teasing comments about his past, but Mei took it too far.

The worst part about that god-awful interaction is that it was working out in her favor.

Why didn’t Suguru tell you?

The question sat in your head up until you returned home. You were in a bitter state, choosing to curb Suguru’s calls and ignore Shoko’s messages.

She still called you the next morning with a heartfelt apology.

“We’ve all known Mei for years so we put up with her attitude,” Shoko explained, “But you owe her no allegiance and what she did was uncalled for. I’m really sorry about that…”

“It’s fine, Shoko…” you insisted, but your tone was hard and defensive because it wasn’t fine and you barely got any sleep thinking about what she said.

“I had a long conversation with her last night, and she’ll be backing off from now on,” Shoko consoled.

“Great,” you answered through gritted teeth, trying your best not to hurl the phone at the wall.

“Look,” Shoko added on with a sigh, “I know Suguru doesn’t have the best track record and I know we all give him shit for it, but we also all know that we’ve been too hard on him. He really, really cares about you.”

Tears pricked your eyes. You wished those words were enough to sway you back but they felt just as empty as the space in your chest.

Why didn’t he tell me?

You couldn't stop wondering why.

The day before you left for the getaway, you were giving Suguru the coldest shoulder. He had come over to help you pack your things, but instead was left puzzled by your behavior.

You leaned away from his kisses, always tilting so he aimed for your cheek. You shrugged off his touch, pretending to busy yourself with searching through your closet and picking your outfits. You could feel his piercing stare from over your shoulder, those dark eyes dissecting the softest parts of you to get to the root of the problem. You tried to focus on the music from gently playing through the speakers, but as you walked over to your bag to pack another dress, Suguru quickly reached for your hips to drag you onto his lap.

“What’s wrong?” he asked seriously, his voice the tip of a sharp blade pressing into your heart.

You shook your head, caressing the fabric between your fingers. “Nothing, I have a headache,” you repeated firmly, sticking to the same excuse that you had given him earlier.

“Sweetheart,” he replied tenderly, your body stiffening when he brushed his lips over your shoulder to leave a contemplative kiss. “What’s actually wrong?”

You froze, your anger scalding your insides as it bubbled to the surface. You squeeze the dress between your hands, creasing the smooth surface. Suguru rests his chin on your shoulder, patiently waiting for you to at least acknowledge him.

“Is it true that you were involved with “your friend” Yuki?”

You hid your hurt with sarcasm, her name rolling off your tongue with a hint of disgust.

Suguru lifted his head from your chin, his fingers pinching against the fat of your hip while his other hand moved to reach for your jaw. He angled your face towards him, a pained expression masking over his breathtaking features.

“Who told you?”

“Mei,” you answered sharply, “apparently Shoko and Utahime know all about it too…”

“Look,” Suguru sighed, “it’s…it’s not what you think…”

“Did you to spend your summers getting high and fucking?” you interrupted harshly, mimicking the cruelty in Mei’s voice as you posed your question.

Suguru closed his eyes. “Yes.”

“Is it true that she was your first?” you asked, your voice wavering slightly this time.

“Yes, but…”

You rolled your tear soaked eyes as you stood up on your feet, tossing the dress into your bag as you folded your arms across your chest to give Suguru your back.

You weren’t sure what hurt more. The fact that Mei had all the ammunition in the world to hurt your feelings, or that she knew that your doting boyfriend would keep this from you.

Suguru stood up, carefully approaching you from behind as he extended his hand out to find your waist once more.

“Mei’s a gossip,” he contended, “I told you that when we first met…”

You spun on your heel to meet his anxious stare, drilling your fury right into him.

“That’s not the point,” you argued. “The point is that you lied to me! The point is that you spent weeks going on and on about “your friend” without even warning me that you were both intimately involved…”

“We put that shit behind us years ago. I didn’t want to bring it up, and I didn’t think I had to. Mei shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Didn’t think you had to?” you repeated with confusion.

“There was no reason to,” he replied with annoyance, his fingers digging into your waist. “Because you and I are supposed to trust each other, and considering how things have been going between us, I thought we did.”

Your heart raced at the fact that Suguru was still keeping his mouth tight lipped over what happened with Yuki, which did little to help your own dramatized theories on their relationship.

If he was being secretive about something as serious as this, then who knows what other tales he might have been spinning with that honeyed mouth of his.

The knot that’s wrung itself around your mind finally snapped.

“Easy for you to say, you don’t have an inventory of people I slept with to keep track of…”

Suguru winced, the involuntary grimace an unusual sign of hurt. Your apology shot to the tip of your tongue, and you were ready to jump right into his arms and plead for forgiveness. This brutish commentary was so unlike you, but you didn’t know how to keep a handle on your own insecurities this time around.

“Keep track, huh?” he answered softly, the faintest hint of distress coming through and making you nip at your bottom lip out of guilt. “Must be hard having a boyfriend who is so used up…”

“No...you're not. That's not what I mean, I’m…I’m just saying that it’s different,” you retracted, easing your delivery to try and explain yourself. “You just don’t have to worry-”

“Is there a reason for you to worry?” he rebuked, quirking his brow in genuine surprise.

You scoffed, “You told me about everyone else you’ve been involved with but with her you are suddenly keeping quiet-”

“Please, tell me you’re fucking joking right now-“

“You can’t-” you interjected, clearing the catch in your throat as your voice warbled uncomfortably. “You can’t just expect me to be okay with this, Suguru. I have to be able to trust you and that’s only going to work if you are honest with me. Keeping something like this from me doesn’t help…”

Suguru dropped his hand away from your waist, and folded them over his chest tightly. There was a twitch in his jaw, and the disappointment in his eyes spoke volumes. You both stood there in silence, studying the other in deep concentration.

“I thought you did trust me. You were practically naked in bed with me when you said it. So what is it then? Do you trust me or not?”

Your face grew increasingly hot recalling his birthday, the way you were soft, vulnerable and pliable sprawled out against his chest...

“I do…” you replied with very little confidence. “Sort of…”

You swallowed your regret to stare down at your feet shamefully, and allowing your pride to fight the battle for you. If you can waver his insecurity even a little then maybe you might find some equal footing with the discomfort.

“I can’t change my past. I can’t erase the people I’ve been involved with. Yes, we both had different opinions about how we viewed relationships, but we aren’t going last long as a couple if I’m the only one that has faith that this is going to work,” Suguru informed calmly, using his fingers to gesture between you both.

Hearing those words from your lover’s lips felt like surprise blow. You parted your mouth to exhale quietly, clenching your hands tightly by your side as you naively waited for him to attempt to turn things around.

“I’ve given you everything. I’m not going to force you to trust me,” Suguru adds on, his tone morphing into a cold, cruel note. “And if you fucking can’t, then I’m done.”

Your head shot up in surprise, the front of your brows upturning sorrowfully but Suguru had already turned on his heel to walk out of the room, slamming your bedroom door right behind him.

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ ┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ✧. ┊ ⋆ ★

The car ride to the beach house was terrible.

Neither you or Suguru said a single word to one another. He kept his focus on the road, while you kept replaying the words “I’m done” on repeat in your head.

It was disappointing to start off on such a sour note because Yuki’s beach house was the perfect getaway spot as Suguru described. The location was rural, and the building was quaint and cozy. The size is big enough to fit your entire group, but not to the point where it was gaudy. Suguru mentioned that the property belonged to Yuki’s mom, which she eventually inherited after she passed away.

Meeting Yuki took your breath away. From the moment you laid eyes on her you understood how a young Suguru would be infatuated. She was striking - tall, with long, golden hair that cascaded all the way down to her butt. Every part of her was perfect, from her toned tummy revealed by her short black cropped top, to her legs that seemed to go on forever which were covered in only a pair of loose denim shorts. She had a naturally cheeky grin, like there was something up her sleeve that no one could quite point out, and sharp brown eyes that were simply inviting.

She pulled Suguru in for a warm hug, and ruffled his hair like a sister would.

“Sug! Your hair’s getting long! I like it!” she chirped with a big smile, while Suguru held an effortlessly casual stance to play off that the two of you haven’t been ignoring each other this whole time. Yuki instantly turned to face you, “And you must be the girl that stole his heart! I’m so glad to meet you! This guy never shuts up about you…”

You felt small against her, and it wasn’t just due to her height. You could feel yourself shrinking into your own shame hearing her talk about your lover. Whatever doubts that sparked due to Mei’s burning statements were quickly turned to ash.

Yuki gave you a house tour and explained that Shoko was sharing a room with Mei and Utahime, while Satoru and Nanami bunked in another.

“If you’re comfortable you can stay in Suguru’s room. He kind of has his own bedroom from how often he’s stayed with me. If not, I’ve got a pull out sofa in my room,” Yuki informed, while you were trying your hardest to undo the tight knot in your belly.

Getting to know Yuki over the course of the two days only fed into your regret. You couldn’t help but watch her interactions with Suguru, only to conclude it was no different than how he behaved with Satoru and Shoko.

Even when he addressed her as “Kiki”, it came out with a level of comfort that felt a familial familiarity. If it wasn’t for Mei and her devious manipulation games, you would never have even have assumed that the pair were intimately involved with each other.

As your stubbornness started chipping away, you decided to at least try and make amends with your boyfriend.

On the first night, after getting ready for bed, you broke the long hours of silence by asking him where he was going after watching him get ready to leave the room that you both were supposed to be sharing.

“I’m staying with Satoru,” he curtly responded, and slammed the door behind him before you could get another word in.

Yesterday was painful to say the least. You attempted to sit down with him and Satoru for breakfast, but Suguru excused himself only a couple of minutes later. By mid-morning you texted to ask if he would like to join you and Shoko to walk around the village. You even brought up his favorite soba shop, but found yourself left on read.

His behavior was harsh and quite obvious. By lunchtime Shoko pulled you aside to ask if everything was okay.

“We’re fine,” you answered breathlessly, your worry sending tingles to the tips of your fingers and toes. “We got into a bit of an argument in the car, but we’ll talk things over”

Dinner last night was supposed to be a fun get together at one of the local omakase joints, but it turned into you and Suguru sitting on opposite sides of the table barely acknowledging each other.

You were trying to steal his glance, but he wouldn’t stop avoiding yours. Afterwards while all of you were standing outside, you found the courage to reach for Suguru’s hand to grab his attention.

“Hey,” you whispered low enough for only him to hear to avoid making it obvious to the others. Your heart fluttered when you noticed that Suguru didn’t let go of your hand, but instead pressed the pads of his fingers lightly against your palm to return the gesture.

Almost like he was saying hello.

“Do you maybe want to go for a walk?” you asked, eyes hopeful and desperate. “It’s nice outside tonight, don’t you think?”

You couldn’t gauge what he was thinking, but you paid close attention to his reactions. Like the way his eyes dipped to your fingers slightly interlaced with his own, and how his digits were merely tracing yours in the most featherlight touch.

Did he miss you too?

“I’m going out with Yuki tonight,” he announced, his tone sharp and daring.

Your heart winced.

You weren’t used to this side of Suguru at all.

You let go of his hand, and nodded your head to feign acceptance but your throat was tight and tears were glazing over your woeful irises.

“Oh, okay!” you answered with as much confidence as you could muster up. “I guess…I guess I’ll see what Shoko is up to. And-”

Your voice cracked when Suguru let go of your hand. The emptiness a cold touch against your palm.

“I-I hope you guys have fun catching up tonight-“

Suguru nodded his head, taking your breath away for only a second when he leans forward to leave a chaste kiss on your brow. Not giving you a chance to finish your statement.

The gesture shatters you, because you know that it wasn’t genuine.

He was simply putting on a show, keeping up appearances so that the others don't suspect that something is wrong.

You cry yourself to sleep all alone in bed, all the while holding onto the hope that he might just show up to remind you that everything is okay.

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ ┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ✧. ┊ ⋆ ★

You’re still staring out the window, watching the droplets trickle down the glass. Lost in the peaceful moment, you barely hear Suguru enter the bedroom, which is why you jump in shock when you suddenly notice a large hand press firmly against the glass by your side.

“It’s pouring, huh?”

His voice, smooth like velvet and soft like storm clouds sent a tremor of desire in your belly. You steadied the cup in your hand, sensing your body trapped between the window and your boyfriend who was now standing prominently right behind you.

“Yeah,” you whisper quietly, your chest rising and falling with anticipation.

You watch him tap his index finger against the glass, your gaze falling to the bracelet on his wrist. It was the other gift that you gave him on his birthday, and he hasn’t taken it off since. The rain patters outside, the white noise your safety barrier against the awkward tension, but you can feel it brewing behind your spine as you steady your breathing.

“Where did you stay last night?” you ask with a mousy voice, hoping that your tone wasn’t coming across as accusatory but simply concerned for wanting to check in on Suguru’s whereabouts.

“Yuki’s room, we were up late talking…” he responds gently, a hint of amusement in his voice but not one that was cruel. “She told me I could sleep on her pull out only after admitting that I’m acting like a little bitch…”

Your mouth naturally ticked into a smile at his playful tone, and you sink your teeth into your lower lip with relief from the casual delivery.

He huffs out a small laugh, "in case you're wondering, I just so happen to agree with her."

“It’s not just you,” you acknowledge, finding the courage to slowly spin on your heel so you can face him. “I started all of this…”

“Yeah, but you’ve been trying to fix it and I’ve been difficult about it…”

Your body crumples when your eyes met his, the power of his gaze forcing you to press your back against the window to stop yourself from buckling at the knees. His yearning matches yours, and the tension in your shoulders relaxes slightly when you note that he might have actually have been missing you too.

The ease in his expression is a white flag of surrender.

You place your tea cup on the table by your side. “I shouldn’t have let Mei get to me,” you admit, “I was caught off guard, and I took my anger out on you…”

“I shouldn’t have put you in that position,” Suguru adds on, shaking his head in disbelief over his own decision. “I should have been upfront with you about Yuki from the star, I just-” He drops his hand away from the window to find yours, and takes both of them between his fingers. His thumb smooths over your knuckles, his grip firm and protective.

“I just didn’t want to give another reason not to trust me”

Your brows furrow with confusion, and Suguru sighs.

“My family were in a bind financially. Even though I got a full scholarship to univerisity, there still wasn’t enough money to put both Mimi and Nana through school. I've known Yuki since I was sixteen. She told me to spend the summers with her and hooked me up with well paying jobs ,” he explains solemnly, almost like he is ashamed by the situation entirely. “So, that’s what I did. Her mom never stayed during the summer break. And yeah, shit happened between us. We’d get high, fuck around, drink, party…but it was just…a release.  It didn’t mean anything else. I swear…”

“Mei said that you loved her,” you fill in, piecing together parts of your own personal indignation. “I think that’s what really got me. Especially when you didn’t tell me yourself. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the secrecy…”

Suguru scoffs, “Mei says that only because I went back summer after summer. I didn’t let anyone else know the real reason why. They had no fucking clue what was going on with me and my last summer with Yuki is when we decided to stop but I-I fucked it up…”

You could see the strain on Suguru’s face, and you squeezed his hand reassuringly to let him know that he could share whatever he needed to say.

“There was this girl that Yuki liked. I mean, really liked. She wouldn’t shut up about her. She was the reason why we stopped sleeping together. One night while we all went out, I got…carried away. I drank too much, I smoked too much, I wasn’t fucking thinking. I don’t even really remember what happened, but when I woke up the next morning…the girl was in my bed. When Yuki found us, she was…heartbroken. She didn’t speak to me for a year, and…I was devastated because her friendship means everything to me. She was the only person who knew how bad things were, and I returned the favor by…well, being myself, I guess…”

“Suguru, don’t say that…” you blurt out, your hands letting go of his as you eagerly clasp his jaw with equal protection. “I see you with your friends. You’re so loyal, and would give them everything if they asked. For somebody whose always so put together, what you did…is so out of character…”

He winced, his eyes narrowing with humiliation but it only taps into your empathy.

You bring his face closer, press your forehead to his own and notice him flutter his eyes close.

“You rarely talk about how hard it was with your family,” you mumble so close to his lips, keeping the conversation as private as possible even though it’s only the two of you in the room together. “I can’t even imagine the kind of pressure you must have been feeling. If you and Yuki are as close as you say are you, I’m sure she came around because she must have seen it too…”

His hands find your your bare waist. “She was the only one who could see it. Satoru, Shoko…it went over their heads…”

The quiet loops in right then, a rumble of thunder echoing in the distance. The hurt in Suguru's voice was loud and clear. The fact that he's always been there, but is so easily forgotten in the long run.

“I need to know,” Suguru confesses, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “I need to know what else it’s going to take to get you to trust me because the odds are stacked up against me, sweetheart. And if I can’t make it happen, then I don’t have a single fucking shot at making us happen…”

The sting of regret burns your cheeks once more, and you extend your arms out to circle around your boyfriend’s neck. You want to kick yourself for making him doubt himself, especially after he working so incredibly hard to earn your favor.

“I swore I would never throw your past in your face. I’m so sorry that I did. You’re not the same guy that the people in your life paint you out to be, and I shouldn’t have let them try to convince me otherwise,”

You seal your apology with a small kiss to the corner of his lip, goosebumps pebbling your skin from Suguru’s thumbs tracing tiny streaks up and down your belly. “For whatever reason we don’t seem to make sense to anyone around us…”

When Suguru finds your eyes, you lose yourself into a dark abyss, sinking back into the depths of his soul.

“Is that how you feel too?” he questions seriously, “that we don’t make sense?”

You shake your head instantly to disregard the claim.

“Being with you is the only thing that I seem to understand, and I think that’s why I’m so scared to let you in,” you admit, the past forty eight hours of desperation formulating the next statement on the tip of your tongue. “I’m falling in love with you, Suguru. And-And I can’t seem to stop it from happening…”

Your breathless at the proclamation, your heart hammering so hard in your chest like it’s ready to burst out and bury itself into Suguru’s instead.

You watch your lover pull back slightly, his brows raise with astonishment.

“In love…” he breathes, like he can't believe the words himself, “with me?”

You nod your head, your hands roaming back to the front of his chest where you can feel his own stammering heart against your palm.

"Yeah, with you."

Suguru withers into your touch, his hand cradling your jaw as he dips in to press his mouth over yours. He parts his tongue to deepen the kiss, the weight of his body pushing yours into the surface, where behind you lightning bolts across the sky and grey clouds envelop you both in a shadowy cocoon.

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ ┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ✧. ┊ ⋆ ★

You freely unravel, your joy sparking from the tips of your toe as to the top of your head knowing that your lover has chosen not to abandon you, knowing that you both are desperately seeking forgiveness.

You swear to yourself that it’ll never get this far again.

Suguru baptizes you with his kiss; it was a long reminder of your submission, of fully surrendering your feelings towards him. In between he moves your body, away from the glass and across the room, until you're pinned underneath him on the bed. He uses one hand to undo the wrap skirt around your waist, leaving you clad in your bikini to bathe under the light of his love instead.

His index finger loops around the string of your bikini top. He pulls away from the wet kiss, the tip of his nose lightly brushing your own, with the heat pooling in those dark irises enough to singe your skin.

“I’m not done with you,” he confirms, going back to the statement that ate away at you like a parasite. “Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever be…”

A lock of his hair brushes his brow, and you move it aside to kiss the space.

“Even if you were, I’m not willing to let you go that easily,” you counter because you need him to hear it. You need him to understand that you see what he’s put into this relationship and that you are more than willing to return the effort.

He smiles, and it’s devastatingly perfect it makes you want to scream at the heavens for allowing someone to be this beautiful.

“Still think I’m worth the trouble?”

Your fingers trace down the bridge of his nose, your heart gooey and soft in more ways than you can understand.

“I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have you, Sugu.”

His head tilts with curiosity, eyes drooping in contemplation. He doesn’t say it but you can hear him asking “are you sure?”, but his doubt is enough for you to seal the truth with a kiss, and when Suguru returns it, you’re once again dissolving in his affection.

Your limbs tangle into one another, your bodies pressed so close that you can feel every hard muscle. The bed sheet rumples, is lifted away from the corners as it gathers messily. Suguru’s hand glides up your torso, over the swell of your breasts, and he hooks his fingers around your throat to tilt your neck to the side and allowing him the access to kiss the column.

You thoughtfully sigh, your eyes fluttering close at the sensation of him sucking on your delicate flesh. He leaves a trail in his wake, and you shiver when his hot breath fans your ear.

“Can I ask you something?” he questions in a hush tone, his voice dipping down an octave and sprinkled with desire.

You nod your head.

“Can I go down on you?”

Your body seizes, every single cell on fire. There’s a catch in your throat, and your thighs clench together nervously at the suggestion.

You tilt your head back to face him, your noses and lips bumping in the process. “I-I can do it for you-”

He interrupts you by shaking his head, his mouth carefully kissing your cupid’s bow. “You’ve gone down on me three times already…”

You can feel yourself soaking through your bottoms. A mixture of pleasure and shame heating your cheeks.

“But...what if-what if you don’t like it? I read somewhere that not all guys do...”

Suguru scoffs, baring his teeth as he gives you a full grin. He prods the tips of his nose onto yours, wiggling it teasingly from side to side.

“You’re so fucking cute,” he confesses before adding, “I promise you, I’ll like it”

Your heart is beating so fast you can’t think, but your body speaks another language as your thighs naturally spread a little wider to invite him in.

“Okay, yeah-” you consent, “yeah, you can…”

He smirks, his hands tracing to the strings of your bottoms. You lift your hips, watching him shimmy the fabric down your legs. He stuffs the material in his back pocket, his palms spreading your inner thighs apart.

You sit yourself up on your forearms to study your boyfriend with intrigue.

“God, you’re so fucking pretty…” he sighs, his attention focused on the triangle between your legs, and your belly flutters at the direct compliment.

He doesn’t move for a second, his hands adding the slightest bit of pressure on the meat of your thighs. He licks his lips and breathes out once more, taking just a second to compose himself.

“It’ll only feel good, no pain,” he informs, “but if it’s too much for you, just tell me and I’ll stop, okay?”

Your hips relax further into the mattress, his assurance easing some of your apprehension. Your boyfriend knows how sensitive you are at this point, but you nod your in head in acknowledgement while gratefully appreciating that he regards you with such consideration.

He kisses up the apex of your thigh, carefully avoiding your sex to find a path to you hips. His tongue is sof and warm, tasting every part of your skin as it travels across your lower belly and further down your pubis. You gasp at the sensation of his breath so close to your cunt, your calf twitching when he finally places a gentle kiss on your lips.

And another kiss.

And another kiss.

And a fourth until your toes curl and he finally flattens his tongue along the slit.

“Oh,” you coo, the sensation so delicate and delicious. Suguru drags his love between your folds, up and down, and side to decide, his mouth circling around each lip as he sucks on them in between returning to glide his tongue around.

Your legs clasp around his neck, your heels resting comfortably on his back. The sound of Suguru sucking and licking up your pussy reverberates along with the storm outside. He reaches one arm to find your hand, and you intertwine your fingers to hold him tightly. His other hand slithers up your torso, and slips underneath your bikini top. He pushes the fabric above your breast, his thumb and index finger finding your tender nipple which he massages steadily as his uses his mouth to pleasure you.

The sensation builds, filters throughout your body in waves that roll over and over again. You squeak when he sucks on your clit, your heels pressing into his back but the weight of his body holds you in place to keep you from wandering away.

Your brows furrow, little tremors shaking your collar bones and your belly. “Suguru,” you whine sweetly, a moan following after when he pinches your nipple and nibbles on your clit. He lets go of your hand, his touch traveling down to your legs. He spreads your pussy, giving himself more access to bury his soft tongue deeper, further, to taste more of your nectar as it dribbles down his chest like he’s biting into fruit.

He groans into your cunt.

He grazes his tongue over your weeping hole, and your body thrashes with anguish and rapture. Your eyes spark in white, glittering like the lightning as it bursts and recedes into the ceiling above you. The band in your core is a tight spring that finally unfurls quickly and quite suddenly, your orgasm unfolding throughout your stuttering body.

“Oh, god…” you cry out, your back arching as Suguru keeps his mouth over your cunt, his hand holding you down by your lower body.

You gasp, panting heavily trying to cope with the aftermath. You think that Suguru might stop, but instead you feel him paint kisses all over your sex, rolling your nipple between his finger and moving to suck on your throbbing clit.

“Sugu?” you call out, your spine shuddering.

“Hmm?” he answers, his tongue massaging across the bud.

“You’re still…” you whimper, “you’re still going?”

He releases you with a pop, blowing air over the swollen bud before smiling into another kiss.

“You have no idea how long I can keep going”

Suguru only manages to keep his word by delivering another orgasm with his mouth buried against your cunt. You had tears in your eyes when you came, panting out “no more” with desperation because you couldn’t handle the detachment you were feeling in your own skin.

It feels so fucking good, but all too much at the same time.

Suguru doesn’t push. He won’t test his boundaries right now. Not when you’re just a vulnerable kitten in his eyes. No, the stamina will require time and patience, and for you to get used to him in the bedroom as well.

His disappointments sits between his brows when he pulls away, his hand smoothing over the curve of your pelvis as he kisses your hip and lower belly. He crawls over you like a panther, his shoulder blades rising with each calculative moment. You can smell yourself against his lips, savor your own arousal when he dips in for a kiss.

“Taste like heaven, baby girl,” he mumbles, his balmy words running over your skin like hot oil. “I could eat you out all night…”

He traces the column of your neck with his lips, and grins into your skin. You’re too shy to say anything, and he knows it. He presses his mouth against your neck, pecking over the marks that he’s imprinted.

Your hands fumble to reach for his jeans, your body desperate to do something for him too but Suguru grabs your wrists and pins them to your side before standing upright and undoing his jeans himself.

“Relax,” he insists.

Your eyes fall to his large hands undoing the button, and then unzipping the front of his pants. His grey boxers have a noticeable wet spot, and your pupils dilate when he pulls his dick out for you to see.

You tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, waiting to see what he’ll do next. He pumps his cock a few times, sighing heavily as his thumb runs over the slit. To your surprise he shifts his position, and adjusts himself until he’s perfectly aligned with you.

He taps the fat, mushroom head over your clit. “You just open up for me, don’t you?” he whispers deviously, “Let’s practice…”

He slides his dick back and forth over your slit, supports his movements by holding both your knees as he grinds his length against your cunt.

“See how far I’ll stretch you out?” he mumbles, eyes hazy with hunger. “See how deep I’ll go?”

He slides his hands up and down your thighs, rocking back and forth and using you for friction. Soft grunts and moans escape him, and in between he halts for only a second when your quivering hand finds his length. His hips stutter when you start to lightly jack him off, your thumb teasing over the head.

Your eyes fall close, imagine the burn of him spreading you apart, of him making love to your body as you mold into his frame. To feel him in all his glory, for your bodies to become.

The image is raw, vulnerable, and so, so perfect.

There is nobody else you would rather give yourself too.

Suguru is the one.

“I can’t wait,” you beg dreamily, “Need you inside me, I can’t wait-”

His grip on you tightens out of surprise upon hearing your words, and he suddenly thrusts harshly as he curses out a broken “fuck”. Ribbons of white spurt out of him, painting your belly and tainting parts of your chest.

The both of you freeze as you look down, caught off guard by what just happened.

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ ┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ✧. ┊ ⋆ ★

Suguru cleaned you up using a wet towel to wipe his cum off your belly and chest. You discarded your bikini top afterwards while he removed his jeans, with the two of you then choosing to snuggle up against one another under the sheet.

“That’s never happened to me before,” Suguru confesses, finally breaking the silence. There was a slight blush tinting his cheek bones, and you giggle as you cradle his face in your palm and trace the shade of red.

“You’re usually so in control,” you playfully remark, and Suguru simply rolls his eyes.

“Not with you, I’m not,” he admits, his arm clenching around your waist as he closes the gap of space to tuck you into his chest.

You breathe in his scent, nuzzling your nose into the fabric of his tee.

"I'm glad we're okay now."

"I am too"

You curl your fingers around his shirt. “On your birthday, and just now…we could’ve…just gone all the way. You could’ve just-”

“Not here,” Suguru states seriously, the intensity in his voice prompting you to tilt your chin up and meet his stare. He plays with your ear, traces the shell thoughtfully before gently tugging on your lobe.

The butterflies flutter once again, your irises tinting in pink. You lean forward to kiss the sharp angle of his jaw.

“What was it like for you? Your first time?”

Suguru sighs, and purses his lips as he contemplates the memory. “Yuki was good to me, and it was nice,” he admits, but you’re entranced with the way he holds your gaze. “I sure as hell wasn’t as nervous as I am now…”

“Is that why you keep holding back?” you question innocently, apropping yourself on your elbow to rest your head on your hand. The bed sheet falling and exposing your chest.

Suguru’s eyes fall, his touch tracing the slope to outline the curve of your breast. “Do you want your first time to happen after a petty argument?”

You pout your lips with amusement. “Does it matter?”

“You’re not the only one who might be in love, sweetheart,” he responds, his words greeting the shining sun peeking through the clouds. “Of course it matters.”

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ ┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ✧. ┊ ⋆ ★

tags: @sellenite @kiwibao @allofffmypeaches @sugurussbby @kunigamisbaby @pandoraium @brownskinnedgirll

my works are available on tumblr and ao3 - any fics reposted on other platforms or other Tumblr blogs have been plagiarized. do not share my works on social media (tiktok etc.) © peachsayshi 

[thetriplets3]

When you're about to cry and he does that "hey, hey" thing

please do this with chris

❝𝐧𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬❞

chris and i have been together for almost 4 months now having met at a small get together of a mutual friend, which when it comes to them a small get together turns into a party.

-flashback-

i had wandered off starting to feel overwhelmed from the constant talking around me. soon enough i found myself in a room that was turned into a makeshift music studio. the room felt inviting and safe for me to hid in for a while. any open space that wasn’t cover with furniture of some kind was filled with more plants than i could name. the warm soft light beckoned me to make myself comfortable, choosing a bean bag nestled in the corner for an extra sense of security. i curled into myself getting comfy figuring it’d be a while till my friend wanted to go home since i went with her. shutting my eyes i listened to the soft sound of the music playing from the other side of the house. the sound of the mini fridge closing startled me, snapping me back to reality.

“oh shit my bad i didn’t think anyone would be here sorry if i scare you. i was just grabbing a pepsi and was hang out here for a bit but i can go if you wanna be alone i mean you came up here for a reason”

“no no you’re good you can stay i just needed to get away from the crowd it was too much for me. so much for a small get together i should have expected this”

“i get that that’s why i came up here. want a drink? there’s pepsi, root beer, water or iced tea?”

“iced tea please”

he grabbed my drink and made himself comfortable on the adjacent bean bag and didn’t hesitate to ask if i was okay and if i needed anything having heard me mention the party was getting too much for me. i had just met him and he wanted to make sure i was okay, something about that just warmed my heart how concerned he was. we began talking about how we knew the host and the more we talked the more we realized how much we had in common. i’m usually wary of men joining me if i’m alone at a party, you can’t trust everyone most of the time they’re drunk or have some weird intention, but something about chris just made me feel automatically safe. before i knew it it was 4 hours later my friend came in the room outta breath complaining how she’d looked everywhere for me and that she’s ready to go home. not wanting to keep her waiting any longer but also not wanting to leave chris, i begrudgingly get up from my comfy spot.

“i’m sorry i’ve gotta go she’s my ride. thanks for keeping me company i really liked talking to you”

“me too. would i be able to get your number? i’d love to see you again if that’s not too forward”

-5 months later-

safe to say i gave him my number. when we first started dating we both opened up about being hesitant of relationships seeing as it’s my first one and he’d been hurt before, the whole idea of dating was unfamiliar to us but we worked through it and i think getting all of our worries and insecurities out really strengthen our relationship.

despite bring together for a few months he’s yet to see me cry which i know isn’t a big deal but that’s just who i am. i’m a sensitive person but i hold it in and break when i’m alone. i was always a very emotional empathetic child the slightest thing made me cry whether it be sad or happy tears. constantly being told “stop crying” or “you’re crying over that?” really got to me now i try and keep my emotions in.

sure chris has seen me get upset or worked up about something so silly. one time i was putting the dishes away and could hardly reach the mug shelf but nonetheless i tried putting a mug in a spot that looked like it’d fit and pushed it a little too hard knocking the mug i made for chris when i did a pottery class on a friends birthday. the mug was coming straight towards i tried catching it but couldn’t and it landed on the ground with a loud smash. tears instantly pricked my eyes seeing the cup i was so proud of smashed to pieces.

third person

chris was playing video games in the living room with his headset on, one ear slightly uncovered so he could listen to you softly sing to your music finding comfort in your voice and presence. a shattering sound followed by your silence had him ripping his headset off and running to the kitchen to see you with the saddest frown on your face and your breathing picking up. rushing over to you he kicks the remnants of the mug out of the way.

-your pov-

“what happened? are you okay? are you hurt? did you step on any pieces?” his voice filled with concern as his eyes dart across my face for any signs of hurt.

“your mug. i broke your mug” my voice so quiet it’s barely audible but the cracks in it indicating in close to tears.

“oh baby it’s okay it’s just a mug i can get another one as long as you’re okay i’m not concerned about the mug. are you okay?” he says lifting my chin drawing my attention to him instead of the tragedy on the floor.

“but it’s the mug i made you your favorite mug and i just smashed it to pieces i’m sorry i shouldn’t have tried reaching when i knew i couldn’t. i broke your mug” i spew out apologies as tears start escaping my eyes.

“hey hey no tears baby. look at me forget about the mug for a sec i care more about you right now, are you okay?” he says cupping my cheeks as his thumbs rub across my cheeks in a soothing manner, wiping away tears as they fell.

“yes i’m okay”

“good i’m glad” he says as he lifts me onto the counter away from the shards and stands between my legs. “i’m not upset about the mug baby. yes it was my favorite mug but only because i know you made it and i loved how excited you were that you made a mug on your first try making pottery. it melted my heart that you could have made anything and you immediately thought to make something for me. it was the thought and love that went into the mug that made me love it. things are replaceable no need to get upset i’m glad you didn’t get hurt. i appreciate you putting the dishes away you didn’t have to do that”

“you had a busy week i just wanted you to relax and not have to deal with the dishes but then i made a whole scene and- and i- your mug” my voice falters, eyes still watery.

“nope don’t wanna hear it pretty girl i’m not upset or mad don’t worry about it okay. i’ll clean it up. how about for our next date we do pottery huh how’s that sound? then i can make you something too i have ideas already”

“i love you thank you for being so gentle with me and my silly feelings”

“i’d never get upset or over something like this or anything really. it’s not silly for you to be upset over this i know you were proud of it you’re allowed to be sad. i love you and i think it’s beautiful that you have the capacity to feel things so deeply” he wraps his arms around body one arm holding my head to his chest as he plants kisses to my hair.

i love the way he loves me

taglist: @antisocialties @iluvmatt @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans @opheliaofficial07 @angelcake-222 @oneirophobic @strniolo @lollibumblebee @ssturniolo @20nugs @strniolo @abbie13sworld @luvsturniolo

[peakyswritings]

Heart, Body and Soul || Tommy Shelby x OC

PART IX

Summary: Tommy learns something more about Nina as she opens up to him about her past. Unable to ignore the feelings they have for each other any longer, they reach a point of no return.

Warnings: mentions of arranged marriage, slow-burn, small age-gap (Tommy’s 30, Nina is in her early 20s), time-typical misogyny, references to past attempted assault, harassment, violence, no proofreading, English is not my first language. This is set between season 1 and 2. This chapter is 18+, smut (it’s a spoiler but I need to say it). This is my first attempt ever at smut cause it isn’t my cup of tea, so it might not be that good. Also I didn’t want it to be just porn but I wanted it to be ✨functional✨ to the story and tell something, so I hope I did that.

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Gif credits

Dividers credits

Nina muttered a few curses under her breath as her elbow accidentally hit the bottle of milk standing on the table, spilling its content everywhere. She hastily grabbed some rugs, trying her best to contain the damage. Maybe deciding to bake so late at night hadn’t been her best idea. But she needed to keep herself busy or she would’ve lost her mind, because apparently sleeping was no longer an option for her.

She couldn’t sleep without having nightmares anymore, and all of them involved the same person. Stefano. Sometimes he had her pressed into the wall again, and no matter how hard she screamed, no one would come save her. Sometimes he was standing in her father’s study, arranging their marriage as if she weren’t there. Sometimes he was waiting for her at the end of the aisle, with a grin on his face and a glimpse of victory in his eyes. And every time she woke up feeling his weight on her again, and his breath on her face, and his hands up her legs. She told herself she was being dramatic, that she should’ve been glad nothing had actually happened and forget about it, but the feeling of disgust that had been pervading her since that fateful morning just wouldn’t go away.

What her father had said during the lunch had been the last straw. All that talk about leaving her free to make her own choice was nothing more than empty words, a way of keeping her sweet until he managed to persuade her. And she was scared, because she knew that if he made that decision for her, she wouldn’t have a say in the matter. Because the alternative would’ve been a break with the Spinietta family, and that was something they couldn’t afford.

She missed her nightly talks with Tommy. For almost a month, he had managed to take her mind off all the ugly things that were happening in her life. Talking came easy with him. She didn’t know how else to explain it except to say that they seemed to understand each other. It was surprising, to say the least. Sure, there were parts of him that stayed a mystery to her, and parts of her that she still couldn’t let show, but they felt more like something to discover rather than an obstacle. Still, that meant nothing. Those parts were not hers to discover, and he wasn’t supposed to get any closer to her than he had already done. So they had pushed each other away, and reduced their interactions to the bare minimum. But that didn’t make it any easier. She missed him, despite her attempts to keep him out of her head, and now that they didn’t talk anymore it was as if she was on her own again, trapped into a world that spoke a whole different language.

However, Nina wasn’t the only one who felt the weight of that distance. She was the one person who had made Tommy’s stay in Italy somewhat bearable, and her detachment had left him feeling… hollow.

It had also brought him back to the reality of his situation, though. There was a war going on on more than one side, and he needed to do what was necessary for him and his family. He was walking on a thin line that became more precarious the more he waited. He had two days left to propose, or else the deal would be off, and God knew what would happen then. The most absurd part of it all was that what rationally should’ve been his major concern was overshadowed by something else entirely. He was scared of what would happen to Nina once he’d be back in Birmingham with Agnese on his arm. He didn’t know what was exactly going on with Spinietta, but if there was one thing he had learned, it was that when a man there decided he wanted something, he’d take it, one way or another.

If he could’ve been sure it wouldn’t have started yet another war, Tommy would’ve taken his eyes days ago. And when It didn’t matter how much he told himself that it was the injustice that made him furious, deep down he was aware it wasn’t true. The truth was he cared about Nina. He cared about her in a way he wasn’t supposed to. He had no idea how it had happened, but she had managed to make her way into his heart with steps so light he didn’t even realise it until it was too late. And now thoughts of her filled his mind night and day.

He didn’t think he’d ever feel like that about someone again, after Grace. Grace had been the first person he had opened up to in a long time, he had allowed her to see those parts of himself he never let show, and he had realised there was still a small light inside of him, a sparkle that had survived the storm brought by the war. And he had thought that maybe there was still hope for him. When she betrayed him, the darkness engulfed him again, and any shred of hope he had left faded into dust. But just like a match, Nina had made that sparkle burst into a flame, showing him that it had never been extinguished in the first place. It overwhelmed him how much he wanted her. He could feel her in his bones, in his veins.

It would’ve been a lie to say that the thought of talking to her father hadn’t crossed his mind. But Nina was not something he could take for himself. He couldn’t rob her of her freedom. Even he wasn’t that bad. He could only be content with the little time he had with her, and carry it with him when everything would be over. Maybe that was the reason why he walked out of his room that night, in the hope that she’d be in the kitchen, making herself her terrible tea.

And there she was, except that - much to Tommy’s confusion- she wasn’t making tea. She was surrounded by bowls and pans, and there was flour spilled all over the table. Apparently unaware that she was no longer alone, she kept on stirring the batter with a whisk, with an aggressiveness that gave away her inner turmoil.

“What are you doing?” He caught her attention, earning himself a brief glance before she shifted her eyes back on her work.

“Baking,” she replied, her imperturbable expression clashing with her snappish motions.

Tommy frowned, walking further into the room. “It’s three in the morning, Nina.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Nina’s statement made him cock an eyebrow in disbelief. It didn’t take a genius to guess that she wasn’t baking in the middle of the night because she craved some sweet treat, and her short answers and dismissive behaviour were all Tommy needed to understand that there was, in fact, something going on in that mind of hers.

Slowly, as one would do with a wounded animal, he approached her, and he could’ve sworn her breath had hitched in her throat. “Are you alright?” He asked, coming to a stop next to her.

Her movements ceased, and her hand clenched around the whisk before she let it go. She swallowed, keeping her gaze on the table, and Tommy wondered whether that reaction was due to the question or their proximity.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She recollected herself, sending him a sideward look.

Tommy knew better than to push her. Insisting would only cause her to shut down even more, and that was the last thing he wanted. So he pretended to believe her, and took a seat at the table without another word.

Silence fell in the room as Nina resumed mixing the ingredients, and a new feeling began to rise up inside her. It had been a while since they had spent some time alone, and she had started to surrender to the fact that it would never happen again. Yet, there they were. She would’ve liked to say that it was as if they had never been apart, but in truth it was different, now that she wasn’t lying to herself anymore. With the acknowledgment of her feelings, came the awareness that whatever was going on between them wasn’t destined to last, that the end was near, and that every moment they spent together could’ve been the last. And it didn’t feel right.

She had never felt that way about anyone. She didn’t even know she could be capable of it until she met him. He had made her question everything, even herself, and she despised him for it. She despised him for making all her certainties crumble, for taking everything she had ever known and turning it into an undefined mass of doubts, for making her feel things she was sure she could never feel for anyone else.

Nina could feel Tommy’s eyes on her has she put the chocolate cake in the oven, and that alone made her hands shake. Against all logic, his gaze on her was something she both craved and escaped, it made her feel uncovered and… seen. She wasn’t used to being seen.

Closing the oven, she pushed those thoughts away. There was no point in torturing herself over what could not be changed. She checked the time on clock on the wall. Forty minutes.

“I have to clean this mess,” she murmured, more to herself than to Tommy. One look at the disaster around her, and she already regretted her decision. She inhaled deeply as the thunderstorm of emotions she was trying so hard to contain threatened to slip out of her control, but soon tears welled up in her eyes. She turned her head away so that Tommy wouldn’t see them, but it was too late.

“Oi,” he furrowed his eyebrows, getting up from the chair. “What’s wrong, eh?”

Many things were wrong. Her family, Stefano, that. Whatever that was. “I have to clean this mess,” she repeated, her voice cracking.

“It’s alright, I’ll help you,” he said reassuringly, taking a few steps towards her, worry painted all over his face.

Nina shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest. “No, no I can do it. It’s…” she trailed off, the knot in her throat making it difficult to even speak.

Tommy’s heart painfully squeezed in his chest. It was overwhelming, to see the suffering she hid behind her mask of fierceness and wit. It was never about the tiredness, or the lack of sleep, or the fucking dishes. She had things eating at her from the inside. Just like him.

“C’mere,” he gently brought his hands to her face, forcing her to look at him. A few tears fell from her eyes, then others followed, like incessant stream that could no longer be held back. “It’s alright,” he said softly, wiping them away. “It’s alright.”

Nina closed her eyes, letting herself be soothed by Tommy’s deep voice and the tender touch of his rough hands on her skin. His fingers traveled through her soft hair, brushing it away from her tear-stained cheeks, before resting on the sides of her face again. “This pain that you have,” he whispered, “share it with me.”

She brought her hands above his, looking up at him through her lashes. Her thumbs faintly stroked his skin, and he could read a hint of hesitation in her features. But when she guided his hands off her face and took a step back, he was certain that she had closed off again, leaving him outside of her mind.

As though nothing had happened, she started to clean up, and Tommy with her, despite her protests. For a while, the clinking of pots and the rush of water were the only noises that broke the stillness of the kitchen. Then, unexpectedly, Nina started to speak.

“It has been going on since I was fourteen,” she said, scrubbing a bowl. Tommy stayed silent, afraid that she’d change her mind if he even made a sound.

“I was in the..” she broke off, looking for the right word. “…ginnasio. I don’t know what it’s called in English. It’s after elementary school,” she explained. “Girls stop at elementary school, they don’t get a higher education. It’s not like it’s forbidden, but it’s just how things are. So as you can imagine, it caused quite the scandal.”

Tommy grabbed a towel, drying the utensils that Nina washed as he listened.

“It caught Stefano’s attention. He studied at the liceo, which is after the ginnasio. He always came to talk to me, asked me questions. My brothers had already finished school at the time, so he was free to approach me without anyone saying anything.” She paused, taking her time to properly clean the whisk. “It didn’t bother me, at first,” she admitted, and Tommy caught a trace of shame in her tone. “He was good looking, a bit older, and he was fairly nice to me. Most girls in the village were in love with him and his brother. I had no idea about what they did.” She handed him a spoon, keeping her gaze on the sink. “Then one day I saw them beating a man half to death in his own shop cause he hadn’t paid for protection. I didn’t even know what protection was,” a laugh escaped her lips, but there was no humour in it. “I have my way of finding out stuff, and people talk, words spread. And once I learned who he was, I decided that I didn’t want anything to do with him. I thought I just had to be patient, cause he was on his last year of school. He asked me to be his girlfriend, on the last day before summer break, and I said no. I thought he’d leave me alone after that,” her voice lowered. “He didn’t. Even when he finished school, he’d always find the way to come to me, to talk to me. He became insistent, he thought I was being difficult, that I was saying no because I didn’t want to say yes right away.”

Fucking bastard, Tommy thought.

“The more time passed, the more I saw, and learned,” Nina continued, her eyes darkening at some distant memory. “And I found out Stefano and his brother had a habit of dragging girls into their car. I didn’t know what it was that they did to them, back then. But it was scary. I stole my brother’s pocket knife, just in case, and always took it with me.”

Tommy almost felt sick. It was even worse than he had imagined. It had been going on for years, ever since she was a little more than a child. Years, and she had never said anything. A question burned on the tip of his tongue, a question whose answer he feared, but that he needed to ask nonetheless. For the first time since she had started telling the whole story, he spoke. “Did you… did you ever need to use it?”

She fell silent, and for a moment he thought he had screwed up. But then she nodded. “Yes.”

His stomach dropped at her revelation, and he stopped what he was doing to take a look at her. He could read the effort she was making to talk about that on her face.

“I was buying groceries with Agnese, and she had stopped in a shop. He came to me while I was waiting for her, tried to convince me to go with him in his car. I pointed that knife at his throat the moment he tried to grab me.” Her voice had hardened, her eyes burning with the determination he had witnessed so many times. “That scar he has, it’s because of me.”

Tommy exhaled the breath he hadn’t even noticed he was holding. Although enraged, he was relieved that Nina didn’t share the destiny of those girls before her, that she had been able to hold her own. Something really close to pride swelled in his chest.

“Unfortunately, it didn’t make him stop. If anything, it made him worse. The fact that our families do business together didn’t help. Soon he was everywhere. At church, outside my school, he even helped my mum with the groceries. I only had some rest when the war came. His father sent him and his brother to their relatives in New York, so that they wouldn’t fight. I hoped he’d stay there, but he came back. And he started again.”

Having finished to wash the utensils, Nina began to put them back in their place. “Recently, he went to speak with my father. He wants to marry me. That was why he was invited here for lunch.”

Tommy felt the blood freeze in his veins. He had imagined the nature of Stefano’s visits to the Ferrante house, but knowing it for sure was an entirely different thing. The thought of Nina being married to that fucker made him sick to his stomach. “What you just said to me,” he said, “tell your family. They’ll understand.”

Nina shook her head, the shadow of a sad smile growing on her face. “I tried.”

She kept herself busy with the last things that needed tidying up, the topic clearly being a raw nerve. “The first time Stefano followed me home from school I went to my father,” she elaborated, wiping the table. “He asked me if I had, perhaps, done something to… encourage that behaviour. To make him believe that I wanted that kind of attention.”

She finally put down the rag, then she went to wash her hands, dismissing the subject as if it was nothing. But that wasn’t nothing. That was a lot, and she didn’t deserve it. It was no wonder she always acted as if it was just her against the whole world. She had to protect herself for years.

“I’m sorry,” Tommy said truthfully. It was the only sentence he could muster up. What could he possibly say, after what she had told him?

Yet, those words had an effect on Nina. All that time, she had felt like it was somehow her fault, or something she had to get over. But that short sentence, said with so much sincerity, carried a meaning of its own. I’m sorry that happened to you. It was the recognition that something had indeed happened, and that it wasn’t something she had done, but something had been done to her. Maybe she was overthinking that, maybe he had only said the first thing that came to his mind, but she needed to hear it.

After that, she let the conversation drop. She would’ve probably regretted sharing that much in the morning, but for the moment she felt lighter. The burden that had weighed down on her shoulders for so long wasn’t as heavy, now that she wasn’t carrying it alone. And even if it lasted just for one night, even if that weight came crashing down on her again the next day, it was enough.

Ten minutes later or so, she took the cake out of the oven, then covered it with a clean tea towel. It would’ve been fun to explain to her mother where it came from. “It’s late,” she murmured, glancing at Tommy. He was leaning against the table, an indecipherable look on his face. Her gaze was captured by the way the muscles of his shoulders showed through his undershirt, then lingered on his forearms, exposed by his rolled-up sleeves. A warm flush crept up her cheeks, and she found herself taken aback by her own thoughts. She really needed to sleep. And Tommy, who she had kept up with her. A sense of guilt pervaded her. Things weren’t easy for him either, and he needed to rest as well. She cleared her throat, hesitantly getting closer to him. “Thank you,” she whispered, resting her hand on his arm. “For staying.”

Tommy turned to look at her, his body stiffening. That contact was enough to send a chill down his spine. Only the thin material of his undershirt was separating his skin from her fingers, yet her touch burned, awakening all the sensations he had been trying to keep at bay. She was beautiful, and mere inches away from him, and her scent was making his head spin. His eyes drifted to her lips. He still remembered how they tasted, and that only added to his yearning. As though it didn’t belong to him anymore, his hand moved to delicately stroke her cheek, the roughness of his knuckles contrasting with the softness of her skin. Her eyelids fluttered closed as she almost involuntarily leaned closer. With a burning desire clouding his judgment, Tommy tentatively pressed his mouth on hers, testing the waters. When her lips started to move against his, his hand went to cup the back of her head, deepening the kiss. It was different than the first time, when his eagerness was so intense that he couldn’t bring himself to be gentle. He kissed her slowly, delicately, as if she might break in his hands.

Nina did feel like she could break at any moment. Vulnerable, exposed. And the craziest part was that she didn’t mind, not even a bit. Because she felt safe, in his arms. However, once again, reality set over her like a dark mist. She slightly moved away, shaking her head. “We can’t do this, Tommy,” she whispered.

He nodded, closing his eyes shut. They were still close enough for their noses to brush, and the tried to imprint that feeling in his mind, in his soul. “I know,” he rasped.

Neither of them moved for a while. Neither of them wanted to. They had been restraining themselves for so long. But it was too late. Inhaling sharply, Tommy took a step back, and a feeling of coldness engulfed both of them.

Nina paced back and forth in her room, fragments of what had happened less than ten minutes ago in the kitchen playing in her head again and again. It felt as if she had reached a point of no return. She couldn’t lie to herself anymore. She couldn’t go against herself anymore. She wanted him. It didn’t matter how much she tried to convince herself that she didn’t, that she should step aside before it became serious, that she’d forget about him anyway. None of it was true. She had tried so hard to put an end to that, to push him away, but she hadn’t been able to. She felt selfish, and cruel, and a traitor for that. And the worst thing was she didn’t care. In that moment, she didn’t care at all. She wanted to be selfish. She wanted to be cruel. She wanted to be a traitor. For once, she didn’t want to think about anyone but herself.

Fuck it, she thought. She walked out of her room, her pulse racing. It wasn’t fear, she wasn’t scared of being caught. With her parents’ chamber being in the other corridor and her brothers being away on business, no one would see her entering Tommy’s room. It was the anticipation for something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She stopped in front of the door, pondering whether to knock, just open it, or simply leave, feeling her courage already slip away from her. What if he didn’t want to see her? What if he was already asleep?

Determined not to let the whirlwind of thoughts and panic scare her out of it, she brought her fist to the wooden surface. The seconds stretched into an eternity as she waited, nervously fidgeting with her fingers, and when the sound of his footsteps came to her ears, she thought her heart could jump right out of her chest. Tommy opened the door, confusion painted across his features, but before he could say anything, Nina pulled him in and crashed her lips against his. It didn’t take much for him to recover from the surprise and wrap a strong arm around her waist, pulling her inside as he closed the door with his free hand. She found herself trapped against the hard surface, enveloped by the warmth radiating from him as their bodies pressed together. Her hands slid behind his neck, bringing him impossibly closer, eager to feel more. The feeling of his strong frame all over her made her knees buckle, and she was pretty sure she would’ve ended up on the floor hadn’t he been holding her. His smell, which had become now so familiar to her - a mixture of soap and cigarette smoke, with a hint of whiskey-, invaded her nostrils, making her head spin.

His hands roamed down her body, covered by the cotton nightgown. He gripped at the soft material, feeling the last shred of his self control drift away from him. It was too much. She was too much. God knew how much he wanted her, but he didn’t want her to do something she was going to regret. Once they had crossed that line, they couldn’t go back. “Nina,” he groaned, breaking away from her. “We have to stop now. I have to stop now.”

“Don’t.”

In the dim light of the room, Tommy examined her expression, only to see there was not a trace of doubt in her eyes. He gulped, gently stroking her cheek. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He leaned with his forehead against hers, rubbing his thumb on the skin of her jaw. “Tell me to stop and I’ll stop,” he husked. “At any moment.”

She nodded, but when he leaned in to kiss her again, she put her hands on his chest. “Wait,” she blurted out, causing him to take a step back. “I’ve never…” Nina didn’t finish her sentence, but she didn’t need to.

Shit. Tommy had imagined it, of course, he was no fool, but having it confirmed… He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. But there was a part of him that didn’t care at all. The bad he couldn’t help.

“Do you want me to stop?”

Nina pondered her answer, the reality of the situation washing over her. Theoretically, she knew what to expect. Practically, it was a whole different thing. And she knew that if she said yes, she’d be ruined. Still, she didn’t care. And she was hit by the overwhelming awareness that she’d let him do whatever he wanted to her. “No,” she breathed out.

She felt like she could melt right there when he raised her chin to capture her lips again. What started as a tender kiss became more heated, and soon he was basically devouring her, unable to restrain himself any longer.

Tommy had thought about that moment more than he’d ever admit, and now that she was actually there in his arms, it almost felt unreal. Yet she was there, and she was trusting him. And as he grabbed her waist to press her against him, he noticed his own hands were shaking.

Nina tilted her head as he started to leave a trail of kisses down her neck. A gasp escaped her lips when he reached a particularly sensitive spot, and an unfamiliar ache spread between her tighs, causing her to unconsciously rub them together. Her reaction didn’t go unnoticed, cause she felt his lips twisting in a grin against her skin. He moved down to her collarbones, then perilously close to her breasts. His fingers travelled up to the straps of her nightgown as he pulled back slightly, a silent question in his eyes. When she nodded, he slowly slid them down her shoulders, uncovering her inch after inch, until she was standing in front of him with nothing on but her knickers.

Her heart raced as she saw desire burning in Tommy’s eyes. Except it wasn’t just desire, or lust. There was something more, something she couldn’t read. No one had ever looked at her that way. With trembling hands, she shyly took ahold of the hem of his undershirt. Her fingers brushed against his skin as she raised it, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps and making his muscles twitch. Once the clothing was lying on the on the floor, she allowed herself to look at him, and explore him. She delicately traced the bullet scar on his shoulder, as if she might hurt him by pressing too hard, then the tattoo on his chest, then the lines of his abdomen, everything that told the story of his life. It was like watching a masterpiece. A torn, tainted masterpiece, but a masterpiece nonetheless.

Her hands reached his trousers, but she raised her gaze on him before unbuttoning them. A glimpse of something that looked a lot like surprise crossed his face, almost as though he wasn’t expecting her to ask. Then he gave her a single nod. After helping her remove them, he gently guided her towards the bed.

A mixture of edginess and anticipation took over Nina as Tommy positioned himself on top of her, one hand beside her head to support himself, the other ghosting over her breasts. She arched her back as he ran his thumb over one of her hardened nipples, the new, strange sensation becoming more and more pleasant as he fondled her flesh. He leaned down to pepper her chest with kisses, his lips warm and soft, then he trailed down to her stomach, her ribs, her belly. That new attention had her squirming under him, eliciting a deep chuckle from Tommy that caused her face to flush. His lips travelled up again to meet hers in a slow, sensual kiss that fogged her brain so much that she almost didn’t notice his hand making its way down to her most private parts. Breath hitched in her throat as he ran his fingers over her clothed sex.

“Do you trust me?” he asked her, his voice reverberating in her own chest. He raised his head to look at her, studying her expression.

Nina’s hand found its place on the back of his head, the short locks tickling her palm. She didn’t even need to think about her answer. One look at his face and she knew. She did trust him, with all her heart. She pulled him down to press a tender kiss on his mouth. “Yes,” she whispered.

Still close enough for their lips to brush, Tommy delicately rubbed his fingers over her heat, stimulating the area while allowing her to get used to the sensation of being touched. When his fingertip found her clit, she let out an involuntary gasp, her fingers tightening around the nape of his neck. He then pushed her knickers to the side, caressing the wet folds before stopping at her opening. Slowly, he inserted one of his digits, and she winced at the foreign, mildly uncomfortable feeling. Tommy stilled his movements, giving her the time to get adjusted.

“Is this alright?”

“Yes,” she breathed out.

He began to pump his finger in and out, careful not to go too deep just yet. Nina let out a ragged breath, pleasure building up inside her as she gradually got used to the feeling. His thumb rolled over her clit, the unexpected move eliciting a whimper out of her. Her breathing became more laboured as he added another finger, stretching her further.

Tommy took in the sight of her under him, eyes closed, swollen lips parted, her eyebrows slightly furrowed in a frown. God, she was beautiful. And she was his, even if just for one night. He moved faster and deeper, working her open until he felt it was enough. A whine of protest left her lips when he removed his fingers, and he smirked at the reaction. “Be patient,” he playfully scolded her, earning himself a glare.

He got rid her now inconvenient last piece of clothing, then took off his briefs. Nina couldn’t help but let her gaze wander to the newly exposed part, and a wave of concern overcame her. It couldn’t possibly fit.

Tommy gently parted her legs more to settle between them and hovered above her again, but he must’ve read the apprehension on her face. “Do you want to stop?” he murmured, running his knuckles over her cheek.

His attentiveness warmed Nina’s heart, dissolving any fear she had. She was safe with him. He wouldn’t hurt her. “No,” she shook her head.

He cradled her head in one of his hands and leaned in to place a sweet kiss on her forehead, then lined himself up with her entrance. Nina braced herself for what was to come, her fingers ghosting over his shoulders in a soothing motion. Tommy inserted his tip, and she couldn’t hold back a stifled gasp at the intrusion. He stood still for a moment, reassuringly rubbing her waist with a hand, then pushed a bit further inside her tight slit. Nina squeezed her eyes shut, the burning sensation almost unbearable.

“You alright?” he asked, the effort he was making to restrain himself showing through the rasp of his voice. Her velvety walls were squeezing him in the most delightful way, and it took all his self-control to stop there.

She nodded, silently giving him the permission to go on. Pain and pleasure mixed as he carefully worked his way past her resistance, until he was buried deep inside of her. He stilled again, giving her the time to adjust to his size. That feeling of fullness took her breath away, it was intoxicating. He was intoxicating. She pulled him impossibly close, eager to feel every inch of his skin on her skin, to melt into him until she could no longer tell where she started and he ended. A low groan reverberated into her ear as she pushed her hips up against his, encouraging him to move. Tommy started rolling his hips, setting a slow, sensual pace that allowed both of them to feel everything with the outmost depth. His lips claimed hers in a searing kiss, stifling the moans that threatened to escape them. Nina’s hands went to cup his face, the softness of his lips enough to distract her from the last shreds of pain and help her relax, thus allowing him to go even deeper. His teeth grazed her bottom lip, further igniting the fire inside of her.

So that was what Nina had been warned about all her life. That was the sin she had been taught she should avoid at all costs, the sin that would bring shame and ignominy upon her and all her family. And she was surprised to find out that it didn’t feel like a sin. It didn’t feel wrong. How could there be shame in that, when it felt so right? How could there be shame in being in the arms of someone she cared so deeply about, who made her feel so safe? Where was the shame?

Tommy’s hands rested on the back her thighs, fingers squeezing the flesh as he felt her tightening around him. He wanted to take it slow, to savour that moment, but it was getting harder and harder as her warmth, her scent, her shaky breaths clouded his senses. It felt like being in a bubble. Nothing else mattered, nothing else was real. Time had stopped for them to exist in that moment.

Nina hid her face in the crook of his neck as he quickened his pace, feeling her muscles tightening in her lower stomach. Tommy guided her to wrap her legs around him, the new angle making her see stars. His thrusts became more erratic, more frantic, causing that strange feeling in her abdomen to become even stronger. “Tommy,” she whimpered, overwhelmed by that vortex of sensations.

“Let it happen, love,” he whispered in her ear, his length twitching at the way his name sounded on her lips.

With a few more thrusts, he pushed her over the edge, and she had to press her mouth over his shoulder to silence the sounds she couldn’t hold back anymore. It didn’t take long for Tommy to follow her, his hips jerking as he spilled himself inside of her.

The world stood still as they stayed in each other’s embrace, Tommy’s cheek brushing against hers. He buried his nose in her dark hair, inhaling her lavender scent. For once, his head was silent. No nagging thoughts, no shovels against the wall. Just peace.

Nina gently stroked the back of his head, breathing deeply as her heart slowed down to a normal rate. Fuck, she had never felt anything like that. It had been… intense. And it had tied her to him more than she could’ve ever imagined. It was scary, to be so connected to someone. To feel someone that much. That was the right expression. She felt him. As if he were part of herself. As if there had been an empty spot inside her soul, and she had lived with it all her life, only to find that it was him the missing piece.

A sudden blast of cold hit her when Tommy got up, depriving her of his warmth and weight. She watched in confusion as he disappeared in his private bathroom, wondering whether something had happened. She sat up on the bed, bringing her knees to her chest. Had she done something wrong?

However, she didn’t need to worry for long, cause soon Tommy walked back into the room, with his private parts now covered by a pair of briefs and a fresh towel in his hand. Without saying a word, he climbed back on the bed, smiling softly at the puzzled look on her face. Slightly embarrassed now that the disinhibition brought by the feverish state they had previously been in had faded, she felt her cheeks grow hot when he gently spread her legs apart. He delicately ran the towel over her sensitive skin, cleaning her up from the sticky mess between her legs, his eyebrows knitted in a concentrated frown. Once again, his attentiveness made her heart skip a bit, and she was amazed by how easy it was to let him take care of her. She never let anybody take care of her.

As Tommy discarded the towel somewhere on the floor, Nina’s attention was caught by the blood stain on the white top sheet. Shit. She got up to remove it from the bed, doing her best to ignore what she’d prefer would stay tomorrow’s problem. “I’ll have to take care of it in the morning,” she murmured.

Tommy laid on the bed again, then reached for the cigarettes on his nightstand to light one. He watched her as she looked for her nightgown among the mess of clothes on the floor, naked, with only her long, ruffled hair to cover her a little. She was quite the sight.

Much to his dismay, she soon found what she was looking for, and covered herself. He exhaled a cloud of smoke, motioning for her to get back in bed, having had enough of having her away from him. “C’mere.”

Nina gladly took her place back next to him, resting with her head on his chest as he draped an arm over her shoulders. She could’ve stayed there forever. But she knew that it wouldn’t be long before the sun made its appearance on the horizon.

They stayed in silence as Tommy smoked his cigarette, his fingertips mindlessly grazing her arm. He didn’t want to think about tomorrow, or about what would happen next. He wanted to stay in that moment while he still could, because he knew he wouldn’t get it back. That thought stung. But he was aware they needed to have that conversation. This time they couldn’t just pretend nothing had happened, and the sooner they talked, the sooner they would clear things out.

“Nina,” he whispered, but no reaction came from her. She had fallen asleep.

Tommy stubbed his cigarette in the ashtray, then turned the small lamp off. He didn’t have the heart to wake her up.

They would think about it tomorrow.

NEXT CHAPTER

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[emma23]

The awkward art of flirting:

Steven grant x reader

————————————————————————

Steven Grant’s heart pounded in his chest, louder than the Egyptian drums that had played in his dreams last night. He stood outside the dimly lit warehouse, a nondescript building hidden in the maze of London’s abandoned industrial district. This was the hideout of one of the city’s most notorious criminals—you.

His mission? Gain entry, gather intel, and get out without getting caught. Easy, right? Wrong.

Steven wasn’t the sort of man who infiltrated anything—let alone a villain’s lair. Yet here he was, trying to channel every spy movie he’d ever seen, which, frankly, wasn’t many.

"Okay, Steven, you can do this. Just... be charming, be confident," he muttered to himself, wiping his clammy hands on his trousers. He pushed open the door, stepping into the dimly lit room.

The interior was surprisingly cozy, not at all what he expected from a villain’s lair. It had more of a… lived-in feel, with mismatched furniture, stacks of books, and a coffee table littered with half-empty mugs. You were sitting on a couch, reading a book, and looked up as he entered. Your eyes immediately narrowed, recognizing him as soon as he walked in.

“Well, if it isn’t Steven Grant from the British Museum,” you drawled, not even bothering to hide your smirk. “What brings you to my humble abode?”

Steven froze. This wasn’t going according to plan—not that he really had one to begin with. “Oh, um, hello there,” he stammered, trying to recover. “I was just… uh… passing by and thought I’d… pop in?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Pop in? To a villain’s secret hideout?”

“Er, yes?” Steven winced, realizing how ridiculous that sounded. “I mean, no! Not a villain! A person! A very interesting person. I just thought we could have a… chat?”

You tilted your head, amused by his awkwardness. “A chat. With me. Right.”

Steven cleared his throat, trying to summon what little courage he had left. “Yes, I thought maybe, you know, we could, um, get to know each other? Over tea, perhaps? I make a mean cuppa.”

You blinked at him, unable to tell if he was genuinely trying to flirt or if this was some kind of elaborate joke. “What are you doing?” you asked, genuinely curious now.

Steven shuffled his feet, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. “So… this isn’t working then, is it?”

You sighed, setting your book aside. “No, Steven, it’s not. But I’ll give you points for effort. It’s not every day a museum gift shop employee tries to flirt his way into my hideout.”

He scratched the back of his neck, laughing nervously. “Yeah, well… I’m not really good at this whole espionage thing, am I?”

You stood up, crossing the room to stand in front of him. “No, you’re not. But it’s oddly endearing. What exactly are you hoping to achieve here?”

Steven gulped, realizing he was in over his head. “Honestly? I was supposed to gather intel, but… I think I’ve mucked it all up, haven’t I?”

You studied him for a moment, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Well, Steven, you’re lucky I find your bumbling nature somewhat charming. Otherwise, you’d be in a lot more trouble right now.”

“Really?” he asked, blinking in surprise. “You think I’m charming?”

“Don’t push your luck,” you retorted, though there was no malice in your voice. “Come on, let’s sit down and have that chat. You’ve clearly gone to a lot of trouble to get here, so the least I can do is hear you out.”

You led Steven to the kitchen area, where he fidgeted nervously as you prepared tea. The silence stretched on, punctuated only by the clink of cups and the whistling kettle. When you finally placed a steaming mug in front of him, he thanked you quietly, his voice almost drowned out by the hum of the refrigerator.

“So,” you began, taking a seat across from him. “Tell me, what made you think you could flirt your way into my hideout? Was that your idea, or did someone else put you up to it?”

Steven’s face turned redder than the bricks outside. “It was… er, sort of my idea. I thought maybe if I came across as… friendly, you wouldn’t be so… suspicious.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Steven, you walked into a villain’s lair with a nervous smile and a cup of tea as your only weapon. That’s more naïve than suspicious.”

Steven looked down at his tea, feeling like a fool. “I just… I wanted to help, you know? I’m not like Marc. I’m not brave or strong, but I thought maybe I could do something useful. I just didn’t want to be useless…”

Your expression softened. Despite your hardened exterior, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for him. “You’re not useless, Steven. You’ve got a good heart. That’s more than I can say for most people.”

He glanced up, surprise and gratitude in his eyes. “You… you really think so?”

“Don’t let it go to your head,” you replied, leaning back in your chair. “But yeah, I do. It’s refreshing, really. Most people in my line of work are either power-hungry or just plain cruel. But you… you’re different.”

Steven didn’t know how to respond to that, so he simply sipped his tea, letting the warmth of the drink calm his nerves. The silence between you two wasn’t awkward anymore; it was comfortable, almost companionable.

“So,” you said after a while, breaking the silence. “What are you going to do now? Go back to your normal life, pretending this never happened?”

Steven hesitated, his mind racing. Part of him wanted to run back to the safety of his ordinary existence, but another part—the part that had brought him here in the first place—felt a strange pull towards you. “I… I don’t know,” he admitted. “I don’t want to keep living like this, not knowing who I really am or what I’m capable of.”

You studied him, a small smile playing on your lips. “Well, Steven, you’re already doing more than you think. You walked into the lion’s den, and you’re still here. That’s something.”

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, but I’m not sure how long I’ll last. I’m not exactly cut out for this.”

“You might surprise yourself,” you said, standing up and extending a hand to him. “Come on, let’s see what you’re really made of. Who knows? Maybe you’ll end up liking it here.”

Steven stared at your hand, torn between fear and curiosity. Finally, he took it, letting you pull him to his feet. “You won’t, um, kill me, will you?”

You smirked, shaking your head. “Not today, Steven. Not today.”

As the evening wore on, the two of you settled into an easy rhythm, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Steven found himself opening up to you in a way he hadn’t with anyone else, telling you about his struggles with Marc, his love of ancient history, and his dreams of a life less ordinary.

You listened intently, intrigued by his honesty and vulnerability. There was something about Steven that made you want to lower your own defenses, to show him a side of yourself that you kept hidden from the world.

Eventually, the conversation turned to your own life, and you found yourself sharing more than you intended. You told him about your past, your reasons for choosing the path you did, and the loneliness that came with it. Steven’s empathetic nature made it easy to talk, and before you knew it, the barriers you’d built around yourself started to crumble.

“Why are you telling me all this?” Steven asked quietly, genuinely curious. “You don’t even know me.”

You sighed, staring into your tea. “Maybe it’s because you’re different. You don’t judge me, you don’t try to manipulate me. You just… listen.”

Steven smiled, his heart swelling with an emotion he couldn’t quite name. “Well, I’m glad I could be that for you. Even if I am a bit of a… bumbling idiot.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “You’re not an idiot, Steven. You’re just… you. And that’s not a bad thing.”

For a moment, the two of you just sat there, the silence thick with unspoken emotions. Then, before either of you could think twice, you leaned across the table and pressed your lips to his.

Steven’s eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he found himself kissing you back, his hands trembling as they moved to your waist, pulling you closer.

The kiss deepened, and soon, the table between you was forgotten as you both stood up, still locked in each other’s embrace. Steven’s mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, but the strongest one was how much he wanted this—wanted you.

The two of you barely made it to the bedroom before clothes started to come off, piece by piece, falling to the floor like discarded memories. Your hands roamed over Steven's chest, feeling the softness of his skin and the faint ridges of his muscles. He was surprisingly fit for a man who worked in a gift shop, and the thought made you smile against his lips.

Steven’s hands were hesitant at first, nervous and unsure, but as you guided them over your body, he grew bolder. His fingers traced the curve of your waist, then moved upwards, gently brushing over your ribs before settling on your shoulders. His touch was both tentative and eager, as if he couldn’t quite believe this was happening but didn’t want to stop.

“You’re sure about this?” he whispered, his breath warm against your ear.

You pulled back slightly to look into his eyes. They were wide and dark with desire, yet there was a tenderness there that made your heart skip a beat. You smiled, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. “I’m sure, Steven. More sure than I’ve been about anything in a long time.”

He smiled back, a relieved laugh escaping his lips. “Good, because I really don’t know what I’m doing here, but I… I want to. With you.”

You chuckled softly, leaning in to kiss him again. “Just follow my lead,” you murmured against his mouth. “I’ll show you.”

With that, you guided him to the bed, gently pushing him down onto the mattress. He watched you with rapt attention as you climbed on top of him, your legs straddling his hips. His hands settled on your thighs, gripping them lightly as you leaned down to kiss him again, this time slower, savoring the feel of his lips against yours.

As the kiss deepened, you felt Steven’s body respond, his hands moving up your back, pulling you closer. You could feel his heartbeat against your chest, fast and strong, matching the rhythm of your own. The connection between you was electric, each touch sending sparks of pleasure through your veins.

You took your time exploring his body, your hands running over his chest, down his arms, over his stomach. He shivered under your touch, his breath hitching when your fingers brushed over sensitive spots. You could feel his arousal growing, pressing against you, and it fueled your own desire.

Steven’s hands were everywhere now, touching, exploring, learning. His fingers tangled in your hair, then moved down your back, tracing the curve of your spine. He was gentle, almost reverent, as if he was afraid to hurt you. It was sweet, and it made you want him even more.

You moved your hips, grinding against him, and he groaned, his hands tightening on your waist. “Oh, bloody hell,” he muttered, his voice thick with need. “That feels… amazing.”

You smiled, leaning down to kiss him again. “Just wait,” you whispered. “It gets better.”

You guided him inside you, taking him slowly, inch by inch, until he was fully buried within you. The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and connection that left you both gasping. Steven’s hands gripped your hips, holding you close as you began to move, setting a slow, steady rhythm.

His eyes were locked on yours, filled with a mixture of awe and desire. He was completely focused on you, on the feel of you, the sight of you, the sound of your breathing. It was as if nothing else existed in that moment but the two of you.

The room was filled with the sounds of your lovemaking—soft gasps, quiet moans, the creak of the mattress beneath you. The rhythm of your bodies was in perfect sync, a dance of pleasure that built higher and higher with each movement. Steven’s hands were everywhere, touching, caressing, holding you close as if he never wanted to let go.

You lost yourself in him, in the feel of his hands on your skin, his breath against your neck, his body moving with yours. The world outside ceased to exist; there was only this, only him, only the connection between you.

When the climax finally came, it was like a wave crashing over you, pulling you under, drowning you in sensation. You cried out his name, your nails digging into his shoulders as your body shuddered with release. Steven followed moments later, his own climax tearing through him with a force that left him breathless.

You collapsed against him, your bodies slick with sweat, your hearts beating in unison. Steven wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, his face buried in your hair. You lay there together, the world outside forgotten, the only sound the steady beat of your breathing.

You woke to the gentle light of dawn filtering through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room. Steven was still asleep, his arm draped over your waist, his face peaceful and relaxed. You watched him for a moment, feeling a strange sense of contentment. It had been a long time since you’d let anyone get this close, but with Steven, it felt… right.

Carefully, you slipped out of bed, grabbing a robe from the floor and wrapping it around yourself. You moved to the window, looking out at the quiet streets below. The world was waking up, and soon, you’d have to face reality. But for now, you allowed yourself a moment to just be.

Behind you, Steven stirred, stretching and yawning. He blinked sleepily, then smiled when he saw you standing by the window. “Morning,” he said, his voice rough with sleep.

You turned to face him, a smile playing at your lips. “Morning,” you replied. “Sleep well?”

“Better than I have in a long time,” he admitted, sitting up and running a hand through his messy hair. “Last night was… incredible.”

You walked back to the bed, sitting on the edge and leaning in to kiss him. “Yeah, it was,” you agreed. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Steven Grant.”

He laughed softly, pulling you into his arms. “Honestly, neither did I. But with you… everything just felt right.”

You rested your head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. “So, what now?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.

Steven was silent for a moment, then he gently tilted your chin up, making you look at him. “Now, we figure this out together,” he said firmly. “I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know one thing—I want to face it with you.”

You smiled, a feeling of warmth spreading through your chest. “Together,” you agreed.

And for the first time in a long time, you felt hopeful. Whatever challenges lay ahead, you knew you could face them, as long as you had Steven by your side.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Enhypen's Thoughts on Being an Idol Part 2

Disclaimer: No facts, just a girl with cards, just had to say this. I expected them to give me wild answers and my boys didn't disappoint. It gets weird, dark and a bit uncomfortable, so if you are into that, keep reading.

Okay, I have been wanting to start this second section of this series for so long, but had other readings so had to push it back, as I am noisy and want more tea in the industry, so decided to go back with more questions for this. I also set intentions for some cards to pop out for specific reasons, so if they do, I will elaborate more, now I tend to get lots of insight from this group, so let’s see what I get here. Also, this is a lot, so sorry for the long read lol

Heeseung

Thoughts on Company? (Ace of Swords/2 of Swords/Page of Wands) This doesn’t seem too bad. Why do I always get their company is messy with their ideas and I get this here. I can also see he doesn’t always agree with their ideas. It is like they have an idea. It is like what he thinks and what the company thinks don’t align, so what he wants to do doesn’t always come about, or if they have an idea for him, he doesn’t go for it. He sees them as very timid and unwilling to take action on things or not comfortable stepping outside their comfort zone or bubble, lack of risk taking. 

Thoughts on Industry? (3 of Wands/The Devil/The Hanged) Well, one of the cards I set an intention for popped up, which was the Devil. I set an intention if the environment is toxic for this card to pop up, so yeah, he finds the industry toxic and dark. Lots of things lurking in the shadows and that are hidden. Sinister shit, he can’t really do much about it, with that Hanged man card is like giving me see no evil, here no evil, just trying to remove himself from that. But what is it though? That I can’t tap into. Ok man, don’t hate me here, but with that 3 of Wands, he is giving me you might have to do some dark shit to expand globally as an idol. 3 of wands is about expanding and moving overseas. And with the hanged man, he had to do this, his hands were tied. Don’t shoot the messenger please, no facts, just a girl with cards. I am crazy lol

Effects Industry has on him? (Ace of Cups/9 of Pentacles/4 of Pentacles) Ugh, knew this would kind of be hard, so before I pulled the cards and asked the question, I got mental clarity and distortion. He may have found clarity about things, but can also have a distorted view on things now with this ace of cups, it gives me drinking. I sense this boy drinks a lot from the vibes I got in my past readings, but I can be very wrong. There is a lot of emotions and vulnerability and exposure he has felt as well. I was pulled to the birds in both the cards, which signify hope, love, freedom, happiness, joy and community, so he may have felt a sense of that as well, so it isn’t all bad. He has also learned to conserve and save and to protect his assets. 

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (The High Priestess/Knight of Wands/Temperance) Okay, overall see him having no problem with either. So, I did set an intention for the High Priestess to pop up if there is a ritualistic element to things, so I am getting they do fanservice to put a spell on the fans, to get them to be more invested in them. I mean, it doesn’t have to be sinister, it makes sense to make fans believe they are their whole world, so they can keep following them. He definitely pursues fans, flirts with them, we know this. I say he enjoys the love he gets and what he receives. I had to ask about shipping, because I felt this was more fanservice, and got Queen of Pentacles. I can say he may be cautious about it, but sees it as part of the job.

Jay

Thoughts on Company? (The High Priestess/7 of Cups/3 of Swords) Well, as I mentioned about the high priestess, they do some of that in the company. He is the third HYBE person to give me some indication of rituals they do there, what it is, who the fu** knows. They also squash whatever dreams, ideas and fantasies they have. He has definitely felt hurt, betrayed and slighted by the company. 

Thoughts on Industry? (10 of Swords/The Lovers/Knight of Cups) I think he hates the industry to be honest. I get a sense he feels betrayed a lot, or he has been stabbed in the back a lot. The Lovers in this deck always gives me being shipped or contactually forced to do so and with the Knight of Cups moving away from it, he is like I want no part of it. So, if he adores members of his group, it isn’t for show, he sincerely just adores them, but we’ll see when I get to that question. So, I am getting binding spells for the Lovers card, if someone can tell me what that is, I tried looking it up, but that could be a thing too. I might be stepping into something here, because I do not feel good. Ya’ll are not stopping me with this! Your dirt needs to be exposed, although no facts lol I legit feel they put spells around these idols, so readers can’t go in deeper, this is why I get sick, they make you sick, so that you stop. I am starting to get it. But these industry heads aren’t stopping me, but I will need many breaks between this. 

Effects Industry has on him? (King of Pentacles/8 of Wands/The High Priestess) Let’s just take a shot to see how much the high priestess comes up in this reading lol I am having a hard time thinking, man these guys are good, but I will push past this. I feel he is pushed to do a lot of things. He has learned to be as successful as he wants to be, I see him wanting to be this KOP’s, he will have to do all these activities, play along in a sense. This is so weird, he may have a book of secrets and spells, they may give them this, Idk, maybe he has learned to do spell work. This sh** I am getting is even too wild for me, this makes no sense. I mean it does, but didn’t think I would get weird sh** like this to be honest. 

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (Ace of Wands/The Tower/The Star) This makes no sense lol Let me try to make sense of this, so when he ignites some sort of shipping scenario, it creates chaos for him and he feels vulnerable when this happens. It is like he acts sweet with members out of kindness and when people take it out of context, he doesn’t like that. I need to ask about fanservice, because this was only about shipping to me, he gave me the 9 of Cups, in this deck, I see it as dissociation, so when he does fanservice, he doesn’t really do fanservice, he is just kind to the fans, he is sincere. I just sense a disconnection there, like he doesn’t do that, or believe in that, he’s just going to be himself. Alright, that was tough, moving on. 

Jake

Thoughts on Company? (Queen of Cups/8 of Pentacles/Ace of Wands) Interesting, he sees them a bit favorably. I feel he believes they encourage him and give him a lot of love and support. They help him out when need be. They inspire him to take action on things. They encourage his growth. Just my opinion here, not going off cards, but I feel they may favor him, because he just goes along and doesn’t really fight back, so I can see him seeing them in a better light, but could be wrong here. I will admit being biased, I think the company is a piece of crap, but he favors them, they help him a lot, so I respect his opinions on this. I don’t hide what I get even if I don’t like it or goes against what I feel. 

Thoughts on Industry? (The Lovers rv/6 of Cups/Knight of Cups) Okay, I don’t think Jake knows about any of the dark sh** that goes down to be honest, he seems oblivious, naive, and way too innocent. I don’t even think he looks too deep into things. I don’t see him involved in the ritualistic stuff. I feel nothing here, so I don’t feel any spellwork is on him. With the Lovers rv, it gives me he isn’t really binded or anything. The 6 of cups just gives me very naive energy. Honestly it may be better to not know, sometimes ignorance is bliss. He could be spiritually guided, so he may intuitively know which is the right direction to go in, so he doesn’t fall for traps. I just see him being oblivious to things, kind of in his own world. I always get positive cards for him when it comes to his career, unlike the others and now I may see why a bit.

Effects Industry has on him? (3 of Wands/Page of Pentacles/10 of Swords) Okay, didn’t expect it to be bad from the first two questions. I feel like it may be too slow of a process for him to expand. He may not like the work put into what he does. There could be some backstabbing and betrayal here with this 10 of Swords. I do feel he is kind of blocked or stunted here, this makes no sense though. I am just a messenger. I don’t get clarity on everything here. It is like he has a vision and wants to work towards something, but ends up being betrayed and gets very down when it doesn’t happen.

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (10 of Swords/7 of Cups/Ace of Pentacles) He may like to fill the delusions of people, it brings in the money for him, or an opportunity for him. The 10 of swords may have to do with shipping, he may very well hate it. Not really understanding why that card came out, it seems a bit dramatic for this question. I got a clarifier and got the 7 of pentacles, and got it limits what he can do, this could go for shipping and fanservice. I don’t understand this boy and have no patience to go further.

Sunghoon

Thoughts on Company? (The Empress/Judgment/Temperance) He feels they helped create him. Did his Mother get him in the industry, know the company? Wtf is this I am getting. Also, I was pulled to look at the water in all these cards and got water therapy, so not sure what that means for him. He blends well with the company. They come to good compromises and conclusions. I am getting a weird message, but it is like two people, maybe his Mom, or someone who agreed with the company to get him there. Do we know how he came to be an idol? And should we believe it? lol I am also getting he is a bit caged in and stifled. I feel a lot of people pull the strings for him, going to be real, well as real as I can get with just reading cards, no fact, got to stress that.

Thoughts on Industry? (The Empress/2 of Wands/6 of Pentacles) Who is his Mother? I think she may have some pull in this industry, or knows someone. I don’t know how to put this, because this is not a good look I am getting here from his Mom’s end. I hate that I am getting this. I am just saying it in the best way I can, she may have pimped out her son, no facts. I am not going further, not liking this energy at all and I feel bad for Sunghoon to be honest. 

Effects Industry has on him? (Ace of Swords/Page of Wands/King of Swords) To be cautious in how he approaches things. To be clear with his intentions. Maybe to detach a bit. He may have learned to repress his creative potential or curiosity. To approach things or see things intellectually. He also learned to defend himself and his ideas. I say he mostly tries to intellectualize things, rather than go with his passionate curiosity he may.

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (Queen of Pentacles/4 of Pentacles/4 of Cups) It is all business and money to him. He is pretty detached to the idea of both. He doesn’t really care about either. I can tell he doesn't care, because he isn't saying much here lol

Honestly, this just made me really sad. I know there is more to the story for him, but I will be real, I don't think I want to dig further, I don’t think I want to know what he is hiding, because honestly I don’t see it malicious on his end, it is more on what others did to him. Kind of makes me sick. I hope I am completely wrong with this. There is a reason he may come off detached.

Sunoo

Thoughts on Company? (2 of Pentacles/The Moon/The Magician) There is uncertainty when it comes to them. I am getting they are hiding or repressing his potential. I am getting annoyed with this 2 of pentacles, not sure why I am getting this, I just get from that card that they don’t know what to do with him, like juggling what they should give him, honestly fu** them, I am annoyed. I see the moon card and the magician, and all I see is the moon (hiding) and the magician (potential/skill set), those two together, give me hiding his potential. He has the skillset to do a lot of things, but that is left in the dark. I can just sense his annoyance with the company in the energy.

Thoughts on Industry? (7 of Pentacles/4 of Wands/The Hanged Man) He is concocted how they want him to be like. He feels stunted and limited by the industry. It is a nice community, he enjoys the community, maybe the other idols. I got they commune with one another, so the other idols understand one another. He feels held back, tied up, and can't really do much. He’s learned to accept his situation. 

Effects Industry has on him? (Page of Wands/3 of Cups/Justice) This is a weird message, but to go out and explore, but to be cautious who one is friends with, be rational, make good decisions. Have a good moral compass. It is like he likes to have fun, but he also needs to be cautious and not do any wild stuff. I am also seeing he may not want to engage in drinking or partying too much, because that can distort his thinking. To always have a clear mind. I am seeing that he may be tempted to do some wild stuff, maybe people tempt him, but he does not do it, because that could be used against him.

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (3 of Cups/Page of Wands/7 of Cups) He may think people pay too much attention to it, put too much focus on it. He is cautious about being a part of a ship. He may feel some people are deluded, or he doesn’t want to be part of that narrative or fantasy. He also enjoys being around fans. I don't think he sees fanservice as a job, he sees fans as his friends, he enjoys their company, they inspire him in some ways.

It is hard to extract information from this boy. I have to sit much longer with the cards and his energy, which I do not like, to get any information.  

Jungwon

Thoughts on Company? (3 of Swords/2 of Cups/Justice) It seems like they could have ended a partnership he was in, could be romantic, but maybe a partnership, okay now I am getting broken promises, so they may have promised him something, but they could have broken a partnership he may have wanted. I look at the Justice card and get wielding their power. I asked why the Justice card, because the Emperor would show that more, and was pulled to the little mouse on the bottom at the foot of the man in the deck and I got the message to balance the scales, so I will take this as they wanted to put him in his place, because he may have an upperhand on them, maybe he imposed too much power for them. Weird, but going with it. My brain will explode if I think too much of this. 

Thoughts on Industry? (King of Pentacles/4 of Swords/The Chariot) Ugh, I really hate the messages I get here sometimes, because I lowkey don’t want to say this, but have no way else to move around this, not saying he does this, but what I see, is someone pampering the KOP’s, so this gives me you have to cater to the higher ups, and then I have the 4 of Swords, with a person naked, which can be seen as a bed, so you may have to lay in bed with them, there it is. I can’t take this any other way else. I just can’t unsee it. I was trying to figure out something else to describe this. Also, the person looks passed out in the card, so are they coherent? ugh god. The Chariot would mean further advancement, so to move ahead, you may have to do that. Why did he show me this, why did I get this message? This is what they do in the West, so do they do this sh** here too wtf I don’t see this happening with him in particular. He doesn’t give me that vibe, but could have happened to others he is aware of. I felt he may have gathered this information as he is a very observant person always looking for information. This could be why he was put in his place. He may know too much. Because this boy gave me a lot here, not going to lie. I want to know where he gets this information, how he knows this, and why did you tell me this!? lol I know I asked. Anyway, I got the message corporate ops when I asked how he knows, and my brain hurts, because I don't get what that means. This is how channeling works, you only get a word or two, or a sentence and you have to figure out how to interpret it, but this has me stumped.

Effects Industry has on him? (3 of Wands/King of Pentacles/The Sun) Well, he has learned you got to appease the higher ups to get to where you want to go. The child on the The Sun card speaks volumes to me, I get stolen youth, steal the light of the youth, they feed off youthful energy. I also see it as if you appease them, you find success. I am also getting they want them to depend on them, like they want you to be a child forever, so you can depend on them and not go any further. They give you everything and then act like you are ungrateful if you defend yourself and speak up for yourself, but the reason they do everything is to keep the upper hand, not out of kindness. 

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (6 of Pentacles/Knight of Pentacles/3 of Pentacles) It is all about money and work for him, it is part of the job. I feel he was told this could happen, so he was prepared. I feel he is all fine with fanservice, but shipping between members could make him uncomfortable, but he will push that aside if it benefits him in any way, success wise and financially. Not sure it does, but if it does, he may be all for it lol

I am surprised I didn't feel any discomfort with him with the information he knows. I would think he would have these spells on him too, so that intrigues me. I think he is very smart and knows how to maneuver around that. Very interesting.

Ni-ki

Thoughts on Company? (Page of Cups/The Hermit/4 of Cups) The first thing I heard was they ain't sh** lol They sold him a fantasy, he came in hopeful and optimistic. Maybe took that energy for granted. Now he seems pretty detached and avoidant from them. He is kind of closed off, doesn’t take many offers, if any, from them, or he isn’t emotionally invested in them. Pretty much a lone wolf(this kept popping up in my head), just trying to stay afloat this company. They may try to do things to make him happy, but it never really works or nothing they offer gives him any hope or excitement. He may not even want to be a part of this company anymore with this energy. 

Thoughts on Industry? (3 of Cups/5 of Wands/10 of Cups) Boy does not like the idol life that much. The first word that popped up was cult when I saw the 3 of cups, so take that as you like. Maybe cult-like thinking as well. He doesn’t like the competitive energy, the drama, the fights. I was wondering why I got the 10 of cups, then I was pulled towards a pyramid on the card, never saw that, and got a pyramid scheme, so that exists, no facts though. I don’t really understand how that works, and not going to try to explain what that means, but that was the message I got.

Effects Industry has on him? (King of Wands/10 of Cups/6 of Wands) It fuels a strong passion within him. It can be a creative outlet for him. It allows him to shine. There is a burning passion there with him. It gave him confidence in his creative abilities. There is a goal he is focused on achieving, more on an emotional level as an idol, a sense of fulfillment, so that is why he may deal with the drawbacks of the industry. It brought out a competitive spirit in him. It is like the achievements he has, gave him more confidence in his abilities. He is able to shine and show his true creative potential as an idol.

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (7 of Cups/3 of Wands/The Empress) I am getting he doesn’t care, if people want to fantasize, let them be, why do I get he sometimes plants the seeds or puts ideas in people’s heads to fuel it. I am not getting a clear answer. I just get a sense he doesn’t care. 

Okay, this was a wild ride. It may take some time for me to get to TXT’s one. I do want to do them next, because I want to see if their answers align, being in a similar company environment.

[cherryredstars]

in simon's relationship struggles, you mentioned that he presents you with the ring and you hold out your hand and he slips it onto your finger without either of you saying a word... i love that idea as i am a quiet person myself. would you expand on that please? maybe some hcs about a quiet love shared between them?? sfw or nsfw (or both:)) up to you love your work so much <333

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x gn!reader

Warnings: Fluff

Summary: How you and Simon show your love without words. 

A/N: I smiled so wide seeing this request!! Thank you for loving my little blog!

Word Count: 770 (Not Edited)

It will forever be about the little things. Every detail and trait and action. It’s about the things that are magnified within the warm silence. It’s not a secretive love. A love that is shielded away from the eyes of others so it can be questioned. It’s the type of love that is so clear that there isn’t any question of its existence. 

Simon is so perceptive. He notices every micro-expression you have and the slightest changes in body language. He documents it in his mind, storing it for a later date even if it doesn’t seem important. It always comes in handy in some way or another. 

When he’s out on missions, far from home and missing you, he tends to imagine your reactions to everything. When he’s out in the towns, he’ll briefly pause outside the shop. He’ll remember the way you had slightly twitched your nose at the colors of a piece of clothing. How your eyes strayed onto something a few seconds longer than usual. Then he’ll walk away from the shop, remembering the name. He’ll be sure to return before he goes home.

He brings back trinkets for you. Always. And it is always something you fall in love with. The same details. He already knows what you would want. What would grace him with that fond smile as you cradle them in your hands. It’s all based on elimination. He’ll pick something up, examine every aspect of it and then go through his checklist of you. How you’ve reacted to similar things in the past and deciding from there if he should move on. He never misses.

In return, you do your little acts of service. Always making sure everything he loves is stocked in the house when he comes home. Has his tea brewing and the kettle going for his convenience. You have the spaces in the house prepared for him to place his things. You make the transition from military to civilian as smooth as possible. His heart warms when he goes to the kitchen at any hour of the day or night, huffing at the sink of dishes. But his body relaxes and the tiniest smile graces his face when he looks to the side and his mug is already in the drying rack waiting for him. 

He has never been more content than on the days he leaves for deployment. You will be dead asleep besides him, but it feels like you’re by his side the whole time he prepares to leave. In the kitchen, everything is laid out for him. The box of tea and the kettle and the to-go cup. A throw-away bag sitting in the fridge with a homemade meal for him to eat while he’s away. All the last minute things he grabs on the counter where he can’t miss it. 

Before he leaves, he makes sure you’re prepared for anything that might happen. He has carefully instructed papers for any situation. Step by step things followed with materials for reference. He makes sure nothing is broken or may be in need of a spruce up before he leaves to minimize your inconveniences. Makes sure the fireplace has wood to last months. Double checks the backup supply of water is filled to the top. Buys extra batteries for emergency flashlights and the back up generator. Makes sure the car has a spare and a filled gas canister that is safely stored away. He predicts any problems you may have and thinks of ways to reduce and prevent it. 

There are notes everywhere. You find them in drawers and in small spaces. In the obvious spots and the questionable ones. Inside pants pockets and coats. All have miscellaneous messages. Some paragraphs long and some with small drawings. It warms both of your hearts. You carry a note scratched out in Simon’s chicken scratch reading Why is there a bottle of water in the bathroom cabinet? Simon’s tactical vest has a crumpled and ripped hot pink sticky note that reads A magikarp can easily fuck you up <3 with the ugliest looking fish drawn under it.

The best form of your love is the quiet nights spent in each other’s company. Laying together with small brushes to each other’s skin. It burns into your hearts, and it’s nice to know that the two of you can just exist with each other. The kisses are slow and loving. The touches are lingering and full of yearning. When the two of you slide into bed, tucked against each other, you find it hard to think anything can exist outside of your love.

Simon has no idea what a “magikarp” is, and he has almost drunk micellar water before.

Join Cherry’s Discord Server

[goodlucksnez]

So after listening to Zen's Wav, I had a idea to continue. So I gathered some friends and we continued the story with a little nod to @instarsandcrime as well!

So enjoy the continuation!

Al//astor: @onetrickponi

Lu//cifer: @zensations35

V//ox: @goodlucksnez

See below for script!

Alastor: Ah! The man of the hour! Just the person I was hoping to encounter…Now then. Time for a little r̴̈e̷͋g̵͛i̷͊c̷̉ǐ̵d̷̃ë̴́

Lucifer: Oh no…*sneeze* Not you again. What is it this time?

Alastor:  As it turns out, sire, not only do you bestow hellish grace upon your subjects, but pestilence as well! ’Allergies.’ Hah! I should have known. 

Lucifer: Well if someone hadn’t insisted I come on their show with only two days notice!

Alastor: Aha-hA!  If someone would answer their phone more than once a month, your nibs–

*Lucifer sneezes*

Alastor: Well. Glad to see your smoky sternutations aren’t exclusive to my studio, at least. Goodness, I do hope this wallpaper is flame-resistant.*ṣ̶͐n̸̺͐ḙ̸̽e̸̲͂z̸̩͋i̷̠͐n̴̨̊g̸̩̿* Pardon.

Lucifer: Hey! Don’t bust out my lights! I’m working on an important project!

Alastor: And now no one has to see it! Pity. :)

*Voxtech Show Theme Plays*

Vox: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most electrifying news show in the multiverse! I’m your host, Vox,  and I’m here to deliver the latest headlines with a dash of charisma, a sprinkle of wit, and a whole lot of tea *clinking cup* *cup falls* 

Vox: *ignoring fallen cup* Tonight on our program we will go over the most recent broadcast from the King of Hell and the less important interviewer *cackle*

Vox: Ahh how good it feels in my studio! I must say our brand is perfection, it just won't do for anything Less. Than. That. *snigger*  

Vox: Unlike a certain old tyrant my studio is made for the highest of royalty. So if any princes or kings want a real experience, come down to Vees tower and I would love to give you a personalized tour from the Man in Charge. 

Alastor: *sneezing* Pompous, vicious little prick…

Lucifer: Ugh.. *sniff* I hate that guy…”Man in Charge”? And they call me prideful??

Vox: I mean really you just walk in, and it’s chaos. Papers everywhere, coffee stains on the desk, *laugh* it isn't even in a proper studio but an old water tower! Talk about tacky. Unprofessional, if you ask me. But here? Every cable is tucked away, every surface polished--

[Vox continues his spiel while Alastor sneezes]

Alastor: *sneezing* 

Vox:-- to a mirror sheen. We believe in excellence, not just in our content but in our environment, that that is what VoxTex is here to provide you. So, when you tune in to our show, rest assured, you’re getting the crème de la crème. Quality, class, and cleanliness–

Alastor: That isn’t even properly alliterative…

Lucifer: Are you kidding me? His place is a walking fire hazard! Or, not walking. Standing? But I know fire hazards! Man, I wish I could just…*sneezes*

Alastor: HaHAh!…Well, then I’m sure you will appreciate this next bit, Sire.

Vox: *sniffling* *sneezing* I must apologize, my dear viewers *sneezing*  but it seems that even the most prepared among us can be caught off guard. It appears I’m having a bit of a g̶͎͑-̵̓ͅg̵̪̑-̷̖͠G̴̥͒L̶̟̈I̷͈͑T̵̀͜C̸̣͝H̸̖͒—nothing serious, but we believe in safety first here at Vox industries.

*Vox continues sneezing throughout his spiel*

Vox: We’re all about transparency and this is as real as it gets. Fucking bitch! I’m going to step off for a moment to take care of this, and in the meantime, we’ll be ending today’s broadcast a tad earlier than scheduled. FuckI’mgonnafuckingkillhim--Our team is top-notch, and they’ll ensure everything is handled with the utmost professionalism. Thank you for your understanding. We’ll be back on air tomorrow, bright and shiny as ever, ready to bring you the stellar content you love. 

Vox: Cut it! That fucking bitch, I know this is his doing I’m gonna kill him!!

Alastor: *sneezing* *laughing* 

Lucifer: Hoh yeah! Highfive!

Alastor: I beg your pardon?

Lucifer: You…you just take your hand and…uhh…*high five sound*

Alastor: Mmm I suppose. But don’t make a habit out of this, sire.

Lucifer: Eheh…okay…

[engie-ivy]

(Not so micro, but written for @wolfstarmicrofic! Extremely Pining Sirius and Extremely Oblivious Remus Lupin)

6th: Bond

Sirius doesn't tick any of Remus’ boxes. No matter how strong their bond is, no matter how Sirius is the only one who gives Remus that sense of belonging, they're just not compatible... Right?

The Thing We Don't Talk About

“He made the wrong decision,” Remus says pointedly. “And he has to live with it. Why would I have to suffer the consequences for his mistakes?”

“For god’s sake, Remus,” Lily says exasperatedly. “He just took a bite from your dessert!”

“It was chocolate cake!” Remus glares at Lily. “And it’s not that hard! If you want dessert, order dessert, if you don’t want dessert, don’t order dessert, but leave me out of it!”

“So,” Marlene says, sipping her tea. “I take it there’s not going to be a second date?”

“Certainly not,” Remus says. “He clearly doesn’t have the same values as I have.”

Mary rolls her eyes. “ ‘Wanting to share dessert’, we can add that to the list. What did the previous one do again? Put sugar in his tea, was it?”

“It was the perfect blend, and he ruined it!”

“Remus,” Lily says carefully. “Have you ever wondered if maybe you are too critical?”

“When I was picking out curtains you made me go to five different stores and try out four different samples before making a decision!” Remus replies. “How am I allowed to be critical about a piece of fabric, but not about the person I might spend the rest of my life with?”

“Because it’s getting you nowhere!” Mary exclaims. “You’ll end up being single your whole life.”

“I want someone who’s the same kind of person as I am, who’s on the same page as me, who shares my interests and preferences, and otherwise, I’d rather be alone,” Remus shrugs.

“But surely someone doesn’t have to share all your interests!” Lily tries.

“Am I really asking for so much?” Remus asks. “Someone whose favourite moments also consist of drinking a perfect cup of tea with their favourite pastry, shares my interest in art history and loves to go to museums, and also listens to classical music. I don’t even care about his job or his looks!” Remus sighs. “Maybe the guy I’m looking for just cannot be found in the city. Maybe I should broaden my search to out of town.”

“Or maybe you should narrow your search to within your apartment,” Marlene mumbles, looking out of the window.

“Marlene!” Lily says warningly.

“Oh, come on, Lily!” Marlene suddenly snaps. “I’m sick of it! I’m sick of having to deal with these pretentious idiots Remus keeps going out with, when he has this perfect, drop-dead gorgeous man, who literally worships the very ground he walks on, living in right in his own bloody apartment!”

“I know, Marlene,” Lily says. “But Remus can’t help it if he just doesn’t feel that way-”

“Sirius isn’t in love with me,” Remus interrupts.

Lily stops mid-sentence and both she and Marlene whip their heads around to stare at Remus, while Mary spits out her tea and starts to cough.

“Please tell me you’re kidding,” Lily says eventually, as she finds her voice.

Remus blinks. “You actually think Sirius is in love with me?”

“No,” Mary says slowly. “We know Sirius is in love with you. He has been since our second year of college.”

“Why did no one ever thought to tell me?” Remus exclaims.

“It’s so obvious!” Marlene exclaims. “We assumed you knew! Hell, everybody and their nan knows! Literally. I saw Dorcas’ nan the other day, and the first thing she asked me was ‘is that Sirius boy still pining after that Remus boy?’”

Remus looks from one girl to the other. “If I had known, don’t you think I would’ve somehow acknowledged it, at least once?”

“We assumed you just didn’t feel the same,” Mary says, eying Remus. “And that not mentioning it was your way of dealing with it, so you wouldn’t have to hurt Sirius.”

“Wait,” Lily says. “When you and Sirius moved in together after college, James had this talk with Sirius where he asked him whether it was really a good idea, and you were right there! James told Sirius it wasn’t good for his mental health, and that he was just torturing himself by doing it! What the hell did you think that was about?”

Remus stares at the table, his cheeks heating up. He remembers that conversation. He remembers feeling slightly insulted by James’ words and he remembers Sirius assuring James that it was fine, that he could handle it. “I thought he meant because I always leave my dirty dishes in the sink,” he mumbles.

Lily looks at him, then shakes her head. “Unbelievable. Unbe-fucking-lievable.”

“It... It doesn’t matter anyway,” Remus says, trying to sound convincing while his head is spinning. “Sirius and I are so different. We’re not compatible, not at all.”

Remus had first met Sirius at a party when they just started college. Sirius was the light of the party, everyone was drawn to him. Remus learned that Sirius Black was loud and impulsive, drank black coffee and cheap beer, listened to rock music and was into motorcycles.

He didn’t even come close to ticking Remus’ boxes.

Remus had written Sirius off as boyfriend material back then and never reconsidered. He had written Sirius off, and never thought to revise that decision. Even when Sirius and he unexpectedly became close friends and formed a strong bond, even when he learned how smart, loyal and caring Sirius is, even when he could talk to Sirius about anything, even when he didn’t feel as comfortable just being himself with anyone else as he did with Sirius, even when Sirius somehow became ‘home’, Remus did not come back on his decision and didn’t revise it.

“H-he doesn’t even drink tea!” Remus exclaims.

“What does that matter if he knows exactly how to make your favourite tea to bring it to you whenever you feel sick?” Marlene says.

“And... And he doesn’t like sweet foods.”

“What does that matter if he goes out of his way to go to that bakery on the other side of town to get you those cinnamon rolls you love so much whenever you feel down?” Mary says.

“He doesn’t know the first thing about art history!”

“What does that matter if he can listen to you go on about if for hours?” Marlene says.

“We don’t even like the same music...”

“Remus,” Lily says gently. “You once told me that your favourite part of the day is doing the dishes together with Sirius, as you put awful music on and both sing along as loud as you can and dance around the living room together. What does it matter, what does any of it matter, when you’ve got someone who makes you feel like that?”

For a long moment, Remus just stares at her. Then he suddenly gets up from his chair. “I have to go.”

Sirius is standing in the kitchen, his hair tied in a bun, humming to himself while mixing ingredients together in a bowl.

As Remus looks at him, he wonders how he did not see sooner what was right in front of him?

Sirius turns his head and gives Remus a bright smile when he sees him. “You’re home early!” He says, turning back to the bowl. “I’m making your mother’s chocolate cake, and it was supposed to be a surprise.” He gives Remus a brief grin. “To help you cope with the Dessert Sharing Trauma.”

Remus just says it. “You’re in love with me.”

“Yes?” Sirius asks while measuring flour.

Remus shakes his head. He still can’t quite wrap his head around it. “You’re in love with me.”

Sirius frowns. “Right. Are we suddenly talking about this now? I thought we agreed it’s the Thing We Don’t Talk About.”

Remus sighs, cursing himself for letting this go on for so long. “Maybe it shouldn’t be.”

Sirius turns away from the kitchen counter to look at Remus. “Really? You’re worried about this now? Look, Remus,” He runs a hand over his face, leaving a streak of flower. “It’s okay. I’ve got it under control. Besides, I know I’m not what you’re looking for, so don’t worry about me getting any false hope or anything.” He rolls his eyes. “I don’t tick any of your boxes after all.”

“You don’t,” Remus replies. “You’re uncultured, prefer starters over desserts, and can’t tell the difference between Earl Grey and English Breakfast.”

Sirius smiles sadly. “Yeah, I know.”

He moves to turn back to the kitchen counter, but Remus draws his attention back to him.

“You’re all that,” he says, walking towards Sirius. “You’re all that,” he says, lowering his voice as he stops in front of Sirius, placing a hand on his cheek, brushing away some of the flour, and looking at him in wonder. “And yet, I love you.”

He moves forward, but Sirius stops him with a hand on his shoulder. “I won’t change,” he says with a pained expression, but also a glimmer of hope, in his eyes. “I am who I am. Even if I feel like I would do just about anything to have a chance, I know I can’t – I shouldn’t – change who I am. Not even for you.”

“Good.” Remus smiles. “Because you’re perfect.”

[countrymusiclover]

5 - our Own Release

Part 6

Battle of Head and Mind

Tag list - ask to be added (in my ask box please) @aintinacage @hiraethrhapsody @mostlymarvelgirl @importantgalaxyrunaway

Inside the Mansion

Raven scurried her way through her home in search of her brother. She knew that he would want to hear what she had just seen between Addi and Erik in the hallway. She paused in her steps outside of the kitchen seeing him sitting at the kitchen table. “There you are. I have something interesting to tell you.”

“What do you want to tell me, Raven?” He asked his sister sipping from his cup of tea he had made.

She crossed the kitchen sitting across from him. “It’s about Erik and Addi.”

“What about them?” He sits the tea cup down on the table.

The blonde hit her hands on the table. “She was getting emotional over something and he found her like that. He offered her some form of help and they went outside together.”

“Why is this bringing you so much excitement?” Charles asked his sister to avoid reading her mind to get the answer. He promised her that he would never read her thoughts.

She gasped, hitting her hands on the table, baffled at the question he just asked her. “Are you serious? Have you not been able to see the chemistry between them?”

“I…I suppose not.” He stuttered.

She tilted her head to the side. “You haven’t been able to see the chemistry between them for a different reason. You have your own feelings for her don’t you?”

“I didn’t say anything like that-“

Raven shakes her head at him. “But it’s written all over your face. I don’t have to be a telepath to figure that out.”

“Raven, I love you. But you are being ridiculous.”

“No I’m not. You have feelings for her and I want to know why.” She pressured him.

Charles ran a hand through his curly brown hair sighing. “If I had any feelings for Addi it has to do with the way Erik treats her. He calls her a monster based on who her father is. So I wish he would get to know the real her.”

“Yeah I know he isn’t that nice. He seems closed off like he has lost a lot.”

He nodded, sighing heavily. “He’s suffered at the hands of some very bad humans. In one of the most terrible moments in the history of mankind. He lost his father…and his mother. All at the hands of Sebastian Shaw.”

“Because he’s Addi’s father. That must be hard on her. Having someone compare you to someone bad without even giving you a chance to prove you're not like that person.” The girl who could change into anyone she saw responded.

Charles took a drink from his cup. “It is indeed…maybe you are onto something with seeing them going off somewhere privately together.”

“What do you mean?”

He began explaining. “I mean a few weeks ago I don’t think either of them could imagine being alone together without them sitting in a room in dead silence. But if tonight works out then we might be onto something.”

“Where they are on track of maybe getting together as a couple.” Raven smiled in her brother's direction.

He made a grunt noise underneath his breath. “Or simply just where they get along with one another.”

“Sorry but the idea of Addi and Erik as a couple sounds better than them just being a good pair. We should all become family after this whole fighting Shaw and saving the world thing.”

He smiled at her. “Yes. We should hope that there doesn’t happen to be a war at all.”

“You want to be a part of the human world. Do you think that Addi would agree with you?” She questioned her brother.

He leans back in his chair silently staring at her. “I’m not entirely sure just yet. She has to learn to accept herself and her powers first. Otherwise it’s unclear what life path she wants to go down.”

“Well I’m going to see if I can peek in on their conversation.” The young mutant girl got to her feet heading to leave the kitchen.

Charles warned his younger sister. “Leave them be, Raven!”

“I love you, Charles.” She called back and he picked up his cup again finishing what was left inside it. He shook his head praying that she didn’t interfere with their conversation if she found out where Erik and Addi had run off too.

Addi’s pov

The sun had set and we hadn’t stopped walking through the woods. I wasn’t familiar with the grounds that belonged with the Xavier mansion. My boots crunched leaves underneath and I felt the wind blow through my hair. I shifted my gaze in front of me with Erik walking a few steps in front of me. It baffles me at the moment that he had offered to help me. He didn’t seem like the helpful type. “Erik, not that I don’t appreciate the offer. But what is your plan?”

“I can see that your mind is fighting against you. So I am going to help you with it before you explode half the mansion.” He responded back to me still walking until we could no longer see the school from where we were.

I made a disgusted face at his remark. “I am not on the verge of destroying the mansion. You don’t even know what I can do.”

“And apparently neither do you, Addison. I know where the source of my power comes from. I know what I can do with it. You need to learn the same about yourself.” He paused in his steps slightly, turning his body back towards me.

Staring at the man in front of me. “Oh really and how are you going to teach me?”

“Charles has tried to make us believe that it’s all in our heads. And that the mind is more powerful than anything. That’s great when you’re a telepath but we aren’t. So we're doing this my way.” He explained it to me.

Nodding my head I followed his actions where we kept walking forward a few good steps before he turned around gently shifting me in front of him by grabbing my shoulders. “Woah what are-” I cut myself short feeling his front pressing against my back.

I could feel his breath in my ear causing me to suck in a breath feeling my face turning red at how close we were. “Do you know that bubble that is constantly on the verge of popping?”

“Maybe. What's the point?” I mumbled under my breath.

He whispered in my ear squeezing my shoulders that he was gently touching my arms sending a shiver through my body. “The point is I'm telling you to let it pop. Let that built up energy inside of you all be loose.”

“Are you sure about this?” I questioned hearing him take a step away from me.

“Scream as loud as you can. I would never joke about this.” He nodded, putting his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “Yes I'm sure. Let it all out, Addison.”

“Okay Addison…” Sucking in a breath I closed my eyes feeling my mind spinning a mile a minute. I haven't ever been able to just let my power go loose. But it wasn't helping that Erik was standing behind me watching what I was about to do. Clutching my hands to fists at my sides where I raised my hands just screaming out directly in front of me. The trees that were in front of me suddenly got bent and broken into pieces at the Impact of my power that I had. My hair flies back behind me and the leaves with twigs on the ground got thrown up in the sky.

Erik silently watched the situation before him in awe. Memories of what Shaw had turned him into crossed his mind. He knew what it felt like to have all your emotions build up inside you and the only way to fix it was to let all those emotions out. At this moment he admitted to himself that they might be more alike than he originally thought. Charles wanted to see the good but they each were broken a little by the design that was thrown their way.

I don't know how long I was screaming for exactly. But when I opened my eyes I couldn't believe what I had done in front of us. The ground was broken up, all the trees were turned into broken splinters, yet overall I felt better than I did a few hours ago after training with Charles. Slowly spinning around on my feet with hair had fallen in front of my eyes with me staring at Erik from a distance. “How do you feel now?” He asked me slowly, striding up to me.

“I…uh…I think I actually feel better. Is this how you feel all the time when you need a release?” I released a breath feeling my heartbeat slowly down.

The metal mutant clicked his tongue. “Typically when I get a release it ends up with certain people dead that ruined my family. But the moment of calm you feel Yes I do get that sometimes.”

“Hopefully Charles won't be upset that I destroyed his yard.” Looking around it appears that a tornado went off around here.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Don't worry about it. How else are we supposed to learn?”

“I suppose you're right.” I paused tilting my head to the side at him. “So why did you really invite me out here? I know you don’t care whether I destroy Xavier's house or not. There's another reason here which is odd because I thought you hated me.”

He blinked his eyes at me a couple of times letting the wind be the only sound that we could hear. “I never said that I hated you, Addison.”

“But you haven't been very friendly with me in the past.” Reaching inside the front of my shirt I drew out the metal coin necklace dangling it in front of his face. “The only thing that tells me you might not hate me is that you gave me this. I know that you despise this coin for what it represents, the worst day of your life.”

Erik nodded his head slowly, he took a long one step stride almost closing the whole gap between us. “I'm not good with words like Charles. But I am certain that I can't hate you like I hate your father.”

“Then what do you feel for me, Erik?” I dared to ask the question in the pit of my stomach.

He remained standing there just staring me up and down. He hated feeling uncertain about this. He knew that his life had only been filled with death and pain. He considered saying that she was a tiny bit of light in his life. “I don't know what to feel. The only thing I do know is that if I hated you I wouldn't do this.”

“Do what, Erik?” I gasped, getting cut off and taken by surprise with him closing the gap that remained between us. He cupped my face in his hands, smashing his lips down onto mine since I was just a little shorter than he was. My hands unclenched from my sides and flew up into his hair tugging on it because otherwise I was sure what to do.

I hadn't ever kissed anyone before and I doubt he had either. Since I assumed he hadn't he clearly didn't show that he had no experience. He tilted my head a little bit and kissed me deeply. I did my best to kiss him back, moving my arms around his neck bringing him closer to me. “I thought I could hate you, Addi. But…turns out I can't.”

“You’re not a bad kisser, Erik. And I…I'm glad you can't hate me.” I mumbled where he broke the kiss resting his forehead against mine.

He responded in a whisper. “You’re not a bad kisser either, Addison.”

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[tylenol-extra-strength]

I REALLY want to do some Deltarune rp. Preferably as Kris. And preferably playing with funky SOUL stuff in relation to their character. I’ll take any character but Susie is my favorite and you’d have my whole heart. Please be willing to write at least 1 paragraph, other than that I can match any length.

If you want plot specifics, I’m thinking something where y/c discovers Kris while they’re soulless/starts to recognize how weird/different Kris is in general until some kind of resolution is found and Kris is freed from the player. I have personal headcanons about Kris’ Deal that I can go into more detail on later.

But also if this isn’t your cup of tea I really just want to rp anything Deltarune so feel free to message me with whatever ideas.

I’ll dm you if you reblog or do anything but like this post. I’m ignoring likes because I don’t want to bother anyone who does so on accident.

Also I love…Krusie…😍 but if that’s not what wanting they can stay platonic, just thought I’d throw it out there.

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

How do you choose which POV to write from?

What fic do you wish you got more of a response on.

Something you hate to see in smut.

Something you love to see in smut.

I would ask more but I don't want to overwhelm you.

POV?

I usually start in a fandom by echoing the POV of its source material - so, in BG3, second person, Tav's POV. It’s typically an unconscious move though. 

After that, I might branch out. Second person is great for immediacy, and especially smut; if I’m writing second person POV, it’s always the person I want to project into (confident/strong woman fucking Rolan stupid, usually). However, the more detail and specificity an OC picks up, the harder it is to persuade a reader that they “are” them.

Writing third person allows you to play with the difference between what the character perceives, and what the reader perceives, in a way that’s not really separable in 2nd person POV because the reader is the character. So that leads me to write in 3rd person often too. POV-wise, I stick to the romance MCs, and write third person limited; I like being close to a character’s thoughts and immersed in them for long periods of time.

Picking a POV for third person then  gets more tailored to the story. In Planar Tears, Catrin has secrets and feelings that I wanted to unspool gradually, so it’s all Rolan’s POV. Plus, we’re all immersed in the modern world, so it’s much more fun to see it glimpses of it from Rolan’s perspective, rather than having it be the window through which all the story events are framed. 

I am kind of tempted to write an excerpt for it at some point that’s from Catrin’s POV though, because I think it would be fun! Maybe once it’s finished :) There have been a couple of times where I was frustrated by the limitations of Rolan’s POV - times where most of the story was the struggle going on in Catrin’s head, and I didn’t feel that dipping over randomly for one chapter was right for the story - but it was definitely then challenging to keep Rolan’s side of things engaging. I hope I succeeded!

In Service of Magic on the other hand, has a dual POV. Phaere has MAJOR secrets, but I’m enjoying leaving the breadcrumb trail within her POV and then we’ll be weaving in and out. The dual POV here is partly for smut reasons - I like imagining a whole load of deliciously subby thoughts and feelings in Rolan’s head, and seeing him horny for Phaere when she’s not around, but I ALSO like projecting myself into Phaere’s head as she thinks about how fucking hot he is and how good it feels to fuck him. (It’s also kind of humanising, hopefully; we’ll see she has her own issues and isn’t just some aloof, mysterious dominant. Don’t get me wrong, that’s fun too, but this is going to be a romance in the end so I want her to feel real and sympathetic!)

Rolan’s POV is just always a delight to write. He’s so opinionated and judgemental, and frequently misreads or assumes the worst in people. It gives you a lot of room to have fun!

Fic I wish I got more of a response on?

I would never say no to more eyes on In Service of Magic! I know the kink tags, crack-taken-seriously concubine premise and “eventual mpreg” are not everyone’s cup of tea, so this is very much not whining - I’ve always known the audience would be limited. But honestly, I think I’m doing a good job of making it fun and sexy, keeping it in character for Rolan despite the crack premise, and also working in a wider storyline about kink and acceptance. (Lia in particular is not amused that Rolan dragged them all the way to Firgenstrame without being honest about why - but Rolan’s also got a lot of shame about what he secretly wants, and having his siblings react badly to the idea only further drives a wedge between them that has to be resolved). 

So if you** ever do fancy reading about a whole load of femdom filth and a surprising amount of plot, then check it out here ;) Chapter 5 is in the works at the moment; it’s hard balancing all my WIPs!

** “You” at large - I know you’ve read it Rev! 💜

Something I hate in smut

I answered this in Jessica’s ask, but I’ll add a silly one here, that YOU cursed me with knowledge of: “gummy walls”. Whoever invented this phrase should be burned at the stake. It conjures gummy bears, and the thing is they’re actually quite DRY?! Urgh! It’s such an evocative image… evocative of all the wrong things, that is.

(Also I gotta be real with you Americans: I like actual fisting in stories but if you’re writing about a character “fisting the sheets” or their jumper or whatever that is just going to crack me up and take me out of it, because then I’m picturing the character rolling it up into a tube to shove their arm inside. Utterly a personal issue, but the image is indelible).

Something I love in smut

Creative new ways of showing off how much one character needs or wants another. That’s a solid chunk of kink for me. 

I do love some conflict and stakes throughout the story. It’s not necessary, I enjoy PWP, but OH when they’re arguing and then they’re fucking, and through fucking/cuddling they work it out? S tier. Delicious.

[aeligsido]

[WM] Prompt 2 — Thriller.

Rating: T.

TW: stalking, implied kidnapping.

Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Regulus Black; guest appearance of Alice Longbottom, Minerva McGonagall.

Additional Tags: spy au, Sirius is a spy, Remus works at HQ, married relationship, Regulus is a kid and they have adopted him.

Summary: The situation escalates quickly.

Words count: 839.

A/N: The ideas for this au are rotating in my head, but until now it was mostly vibes lmao. Good on this prompt for making me write a bit about it finally! Hope you like it ❤️

@wolfstarmicrofic

—

Sirius hears the dogs first. Padfoot always barks loudly when they come back to the flat — an adorable habit if Sirius has anything to say about it. Then it’s the gentle tap-tap-tap of small feet hitting the floor, and Regulus bursts into the kitchen with a wide smile.

“Aunt Dorcas gave me a new book!”

“She lets you borrow it,” Remus corrects him, appearing right after their son.

Usually, he would glance over at Sirius and they would exchange a commiserating and fond look; this time, Remus keeps his gaze on Regulus, brows furrowed in a worry he doesn’t verbalize but Sirius knows to recognize.

As they move through their routine, handing over tea and milk and snacks, Remus finally mouths him later.

-

It’s only after they’ve put Regulus to bed and they’re in the middle of washing-up that Remus finally talks.

“When I was driving back after picking up Reggie, there was… well, it’s probably nothing but—”

“It’s not nothing if you worry about it,” points Sirius, handing him a cup to dry.

Remus sighs. “I guess. It’s just, there was this bike, and it overtook us on the road, yeah? It’s pretty normal and nothing to be worried about, but then the passenger turned around and looked straight at me, and I don’t know, I just…”

“Don’t have a good feeling about it?”

“Yeah.”

Sirius lets it sink in. It could be anything, of course, from a too curious person to someone admiring Padfoot who always likes to sit at the front; but considering their jobs, they’ve learned long ago not to take things simply.

“Do you want to tell Minnie?” he finally asks, and Remus sighs once more.

“I don't know. It could be nothing.” He wants it to be nothing, he doesn’t say, but Sirius doesn’t need him to. “Let’s wait a bit? I don’t want to raise the alarm for nothing.”

“Alright.” Sirius dries his hands and kisses Remus’ cheek. “I’m here if you need me.” Then he grins, and adds, “I don’t have another mission for two weeks, after all.”

It gets an amused smile out of his husband, at last. “Colour me surprised.”

-

(They met almost ten years ago, when they both started training at the MI6. They went into different branches, but their friendship remained, and then some more.)

-

Two days later, Sirius decides to pack up the dogs to go visit the office and, maybe, terrorize new recruits with Alice. She has been benched after her last mission, the whole thing a bust and leaving her identity possibly compromised. It’s an annoyance and a half, even more so for Remus and Lily who are left dealing with the possible security leak. McGonagall is too busy dealing with paperworks and overseeing everything to take care of it, and Moody being Moody isn’t useful on that front.

And, well. Both Lily and Remus are formed to take over those particular duties, after all.

Alice uses him as a prop for training up until lunch, where she skillfully avoids her mother-in-law to sit by Lily. As he passes by, he hears them gushing about their toddlers and new gadgets in the same breath, and he can’t stop a snort. Terrifying women, indeed.

Remus is still in his office; he raises his head and smiles at him when he enters.

“Is that food in your hands?”

“You know it!”

Halfway through their meal, Remus notices an urgent mail on his phone; when he opens it, he freezes, and Sirius suddenly knows things are about to get worse.

-

They bring the matter to McGonagall. It’s a simple picture, of Remus walking Padfoot and Moony, but it’s fucking worrying; even more so considering Regulus is on the picture, too.

They up the security; Fabian is assigned to shadow them for the time being; they cite family problems to get their son out of school for now. (They have to hope it's enough.)

-

Three days later, Sirius is doing laundry when Regulus’ school calls him.

“We got someone calling to ask about your son,” says the secretary after the usual greetings. “We didn’t give any information, of course, but I wanted to warn you.”

Sirius’ heart beats a little too fast.

“Did you get a name?”

There’s a shuffle on the other side. “Yes; a woman, Bellatrix?”

Sirius’ breath catches, and he swears a storm as sound as the call is over.

-

(Four years ago, Walburga and Orion Black died, leaving their estranged son a baby brother he didn’t even know existed.

Still, he refused to let the three years old go to his bigoted-probably-terrorist cousin.)

-

“The mission won’t be long, just a few hours at most.” McGonagall promises, and Remus confirms it.

Sirius is not comfortable leaving the city, even for such a short time, but it could give them important data on the Death Eaters, and he can’t be picky when national security is involved.

He leaves at dawn.

-

When Sirius comes back right after lunch time, it’s to the news that Remus has disappeared.

[gummy22]

If you don’t mind I’m just gonna spill my guts about Fionna and Cake and how much it means to me, you’ve been warned lol.

To say I’ve been wanting this show for years would be an understatement. I remember watching adventure time as a kid and seeing these guys on trailers for the brand new episode. I remember watching it when it aired on tv. I remember so desperately wanting to see more.

And then the episode with marshal came out. I thought it was the coolest thing ever and loved these interpretations of the characters. Also in general adventure time has inspired me creatively, and I know many artists share the same sentiment. I remember going to a book fair in middle school and immediately begging my mom for a comic with them. (I still have that comic and read it from time to time.) A couple years go by and it’s still my favorite part of adventure time, every time I rewatched a few episodes I found myself going back to these episodes specifically.

I thought it would always just be a wish I would never see get fulfilled. They were just gender-bends of the original characters, they already made adventure time what would be the point of just slapping a new coat of paint on it? Despite accepting my reality it is always something I hope for.

You could not imagine my excitement when I saw the promo for it on Twitter. A series of Fionna and Cake. A series of them. Characters I had loved since I was a kid.

The series had been out for at least a week before me and my partner had time to watch it, and it was as if all the problems I had been dealing with as a young adult were being displayed on screen. I knew I was already attached to these characters, but the beautiful story they had made out of everything got me even more attached. I cried so much, it was like seeing old childhood friends all grown up. It was an answer to problems I thought were hopeless. Without getting too personal my life would have been a whole lot worse if it wasn’t for this series.

I know it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and with media nobody truly gets the same message or idea. But if I could cram together all the beautiful answers and lessons this show gave me in, it’s that life isn’t perfect and it’s what you make of it. And I know that seems simply or corny, but many people seem to forget that life is not just about your successes or good moments, and if you constantly try to think otherwise you will just be more miserable.

You have every right to be miserable…but you also have every right to get better and try your best at a good life. It’s going to take work, but you will find people there for you, you just have to put your trust into it too. We are all in this together and we are constantly fighting, so why not make this battle a bit easier?

You’re doing great, whoever and where ever you are, just please…don’t give up, there’s a whole life you deserve to live.

[witchescollection]

Hello I have a question..

How do you keep up with it all? I'm so proud of you for getting through 10 years! Though it makes me sad to know I always end up tapering out, just getting tired and I struggle to do even small things to where I stop entirely. How do you fix that?

Hi love, 

Thank you so much, that’s so kind! Sorry for the late reply - my tumblr ask box has been broken for the last month or so. 

I had a similar experience to yourself a few years back, and for me it ended up stemming from my idea of witchcraft being rooted in performance. My exhaustion came from sticking to an arbitrary schedule of when things should be done, and how they should be done. I’d keep track of the moon cycle not just because I was interested, but ultimately because I felt shame if I didn’t. 

I felt like if I couldn’t list the magickal correspondences for every herb in my kitchen on command that not just that I would be a bad witch, but that I would not even be a witch at all. Witchcraft ended up becoming simply another tool for me to shame myself over performing inadequately. I felt like everyone in both real world and the digital world would notice if I slipped up, and rat me out as a fraud of a witch.

This is actually why I ended up taking a break from this blog for a few years. Because, it turns out, people don’t generally give a shit if you can name all the crystals you own, and if they do? They’re an arsehole. 

It took me a really long time to understand that the pressure that lead to my burn out was predominantly internal (and then reinforced by a lot of the way we discuss religion and spirituality here online - that we’re competing to be the best in the space because we think there isn’t enough room for all of us at the table). Something that really helped with me was relearning witchcraft from the ground up - mainly through research of books, connecting with real life pagans in my local area (and often older pagans who haven’t even heard of tumblr), and just... deciding what I wanted my practice to be.

For example - I don’t really celebrate the pagan wheel of the year. I’m know of the seasons and equinoxes, and I’ll mentally be aware of them on the days, but I don’t celebrate them! That was too performative for me, and too formal. So I just...  vibe, I guess? 

Similarly, I communicate with Hestia in a very relaxed way. The most formal it gets is Tarot, and even then that’s with a whole heaping of swearing and informality! I’m not the kind of person who enjoys a structured practice. 

Maybe that’s not you - maybe you would benefit from structure! The point isn’t to copy and paste what people online do, but find what works for you. I think that’s something we’ve lost in our digital age. It’s good to take inspiration from others, but what works for everyone else is probably not going to work for you.

The beauty of witchcraft and paganism is that we aren’t all striving for an end goal. There is no sin, and there is no failure. You cannot fail at something you decide the rules for. And you get to decide the rules you follow!

I hope this helps - and always know that it’s okay to take a break (or to realise that witchcraft isn’t your cup of tea). Witchcraft will always be here - there’s no rush to learn everything and get everything right now.

Sage x 

[coramatus]

While I’m personally not into romance all that much I think it’s sweet and relieving to see this au Woody heal and recover from his cruel fate.

But while it is not particularly my cup of cocoa (or tea) I very much appreciate what you’re doing and how creative you both are! BRAVO to that! And even if it’s a different flavor than usual I always enjoy seeing Woody recover and heal and be happy. And reuniting with Emmet of course!

So nice to see an update regardless! Thanks a lot!

Thanks! Glad you’re having fun with this! Tho I’m not sure how much interest there is in this, I’m just going to keep going on about it as if there is lol.

But in terms of flavors to go with, there are so far three Woodmen that have been dragged into the rp-verse @timelord-emmet and I have crafted! Only one (Pyre) has any romance happening, while the other two are just hanging around enjoying not being in the Unknown anymore. There’s also a fourth floating around but he’ll get his moment eventually.

The first rp we did was a cross between their Doctor Ingo and Medic Emmet with the Woodsman from around part 5 of Under the City Streets. They help each other through that whole debacle and it ended well!

And then we did a follow up where this happens:

The second Woodsman came from an rp of TimeLord Emmet trying to help the Woodsman circa part 11 of Under the City Streets. It ends closer to how the canon AU events play out. Other standout rp moments of note are when he realizes he hates being called Woodsy and winds up being the only Ingo without modifiers in his name as well as TimeLord Emmet just deciding they’re best friends, much to Ingo’s confusion.

The third Woodsman is Pyre and I just explained his deal. His story isn’t over yet, but he’s been making great strides in recovering himself. He is also @timelord-emmet’s brainchild and I just ran with it from there. 83

The fourth… will have to wait as it’s more @timelord-emmet’s idea. >83c