#and the thing is i have been friend ditched by both lesbians and straight women after they got their partner

[rabiesofficial]

one thing i think is stupid about all these arguments is everyone assumes every lesbian is like, partnered or actively seeking to partner, celibate lesbians who choose to be celibate (for reasons beyond living in a homophobic society - i am NOT talking about homophobia) do exist and it's like... they have friends. the reasons why someone chooses celibacy may be different, but it's not like it's only an option presented to osa women or that the quality and depth of these relationships differ because someone is ssa and someone else is osa

[ryuichirou]

Hi! So a friend of mine love your stuff and especially the nsfw one retwetting him all the time and it shocks me a bit cuz I have the impression it’s a thing like another for her but at my eyes it’s similar to porn (I’m a straight dude) and as I thought I understand while reading your tumblr you’re a girl who like girl (like her) so I asked myself what do you think about all this yaoi/hentai thing? Like are you excited about that or it’s just for fun and you don’t sexualized penis? 1/2

And at the opposite why don’t draw shojo or even yuri where you can more identify you?  I’m really trying to understand ^^’ Have a great day! 2/2 

-------------------------------------

Hi!

I’m very flattered that your friend likes my drawings! <3

And I appreciate that you decided to talk to me about this topic and not just be judgmental like a lot of people do. It’s always good when a person tries to do some research before making conclusions, so I’ll try to answer your question to the best of my abilities, but please keep in mind that I’m mostly speaking out of my own experience + things that I observed over the last ~10 years. You can ask your friend too! Maybe her opinion is different than mine :)

This… turned out to be a long read, so please bear with me. And pardon me if my English sounds broken.

Slash (in a shipping sense) and BL (Boys Love) are not 100% the same thing, but in a lot of ways they work similarly: it’s a subgenre that is popular predominantly among women. It is usually (but not always) is written by women and for women. It’s a known fact that BL started as a way for female manga artists to portray romance the way they wanted without being “stuck” in unfair gender stereotypes and tropes they needed to meet. BL/Yaoi gave them freedom to express different ideas, different scenarios and types of relationships without feeling obliged to create a certain narrative or to play a certain role. Of course, this was the very beginning, and BL as a genre evolved over the past 50 years.

Slash, as I already mentioned, is similar to that in some ways, because the main focus of slash fanworks is always, well, relationships. It’s all about the chemistry characters have with each other and possible scenarios these two can have, whether it is the canon universe or an alternative universe. Just a game of “what ifs”, so to speak.

So to me personally, the focus here isn’t the fact that these characters are both men, but the fact that characters have fun and interesting relationships that I want to explore.

But the thing is, it’s very difficult to find even one well-written female character, and it’s even more difficult to find at least two well-written female characters, and it’s almost impossible to find two female characters that have a good and entertaining chemistry and are “shippable” together. The “pool” of personalities and tropes related to them is also much smaller with female characters, and there are a lot of tropes that I love and don’t usually see portrayed with them. As much as I want to have as many girl-ships as boy-ships, it’s impossible if there is neither chemistry nor fun characters to play around with…

I can’t even read yuri-manga nowadays, because it’s always the same 1-2 tropes, the same school-based scenario and the same types of characters all the time. It’s (as opposed to yaoi lol) is often catered towards men and has some male-gazey stuff. So yeah, of course this is me being extra picky when it comes to yuri and femslash, but I can’t really read yuri anymore, unless it’s written by a woman and isn’t based in school. You can call me a hypocrite for that haha.

When my heart and soul are craving some femslash content, I often just… genderswap characters and sigh with delight and happiness lol With SnK it’s different though, it’s one of the best titles when it comes to female characters and ships, and I’m having lots of fun with them. That’s why I post one sfw (not porn) drawing with them per week rn on my main accs.

Back to the topic.

A lot of girls explore their own feelings and personality traits when they ship. And a lot of them just play around with different scenarios and find out what’s interesting to them and what isn’t.

On one hand, you can relate to a male character and don’t feel the pressure a female character would feel. Or you can relate to a male character because he’s much more well-written, nuanced and interesting. On the other hand, you can ditch trying to relate to someone altogether and just enjoy the romance as a very nosy bystander lol. A win/win either way.

When it comes to lesbians, I think the lack of good femslash content is one of the reasons it’s much easier to feel a bond with a m/m ship. Another reason is relationships you build with other shippers around you. A lot of couples I know used to ship stuff together or even roleplay m/m scenarios. A lot of people discovered their sexuality because of that, a lot of them were able to explore it and accept it.

And if we’re talking about nsfw stuff, I personally (!!!) don’t find penises sexy and don’t find men sexy. I’ve never been attracted to a man and irl gay porn isn’t exciting to me. Well, any irl porn…  I wouldn’t necessarily say that my nsfw drawings are arousing to me, unless there is a specific context that is personal. In my particular case, it’s just another extremely fun subgenre that fascinates me. Maybe it’s a different type of arousal haha I’m not sure how to explain it. But imo things that I draw barely look like real porn so…

But some people do find these things hot and that’s great! I’m happy if people like my nsfw stuff this much.

But in my opinion, it’s mainly the association with personal stuff that does the trick. If we’re talking about someone who isn’t generally attracted to penises, that is.

And to answer your last question, I do draw yuri/femslash from time to time! I have a lot of Shingeki w/w ships that I love, I genderswap my favourite m/m ships from time to time. Sometimes I even draw nsfw with them, but I never post it. I have complicated relationships with it because it’s more identifying to me and more, uh, real.

It’s an ongoing process, who knows, maybe one day I’ll be more comfortable to post this kind of stuff and less greedy about it haha. But right now it’s too personal and self-indulgent for me to share.

But for now you all will have to look at Levi riding 100500 dicks lol

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Stay Ch. 16

Master List

Pairing: Natasha X Reader (Female)

Summary: You have a gift, the ability to see other people’s innermost secrets. For years you used it to gather intel for the highest bidder when you take on The Widow. After she becomes more than a mark the two of you spend years stealing moments. Post snap you wait in your designated meeting place, look back on the sordid past you share with the woman you love and hope against everything that she’s still alive.

Warnings: Angst, and fluff, and feels oh my!

A/N:  So yeah I swear I wroth an authors note for this... but idfk what happened. 

ANYWAY! Thank you all for being so patient while I got my life together. This one is also short and sweet (guess that’s the mood I’m in). However, y’all should know me by now. This is just the calm before the storm. 

Hope you enjoy this one my pumpkins! 

Tags are open!

@mywinterwolf  @disagreetoagree  @breezy1415  @peachthatdrinkslemonade  @5aftermidnight@jeromethepsycho  @marvel-randomness  @daniellajocelyn  @katecolleen  @yanginginthere@wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @lesbian-girls-wayhaught @siriuslycloudy2

March 2007

At some point in the last five months, you’d stopped recognizing yourself. The woman in the mirror wasn’t Y/N. Her hair was different, down to even the eyebrows. Her accent distinctly that of a life long Londoner. She worked for an independent UK couture fashion magazine, chose wine over whiskey, and was distinctly heterosexual.

When the chance to work this job requiring deep cover came up in December you jumped on it. You didn’t want to be you anymore. The you that couldn’t be with the woman you loved. The you that was heartbroken. The you who was beginning to doubt that you’d ever be happy. Fuck her.

Being Charlie Daniels was far better. She was, of course, a real person. Just one who was now living comfortably in the Bahamas courtesy of MI6. Even legit agencies had use of freelance talent every now and then.

Settling into her life had been easy. Not setting her boss on fire or blowing his brains out daily was a different task altogether. Turned out that a magazine was a great front for a crime empire. Lots of international travel, young and beautiful and desperate men and women, money exchanged in countless untraceable ways, on and on. And this fucker was happy to take advantage of every single disgusting avenue it opened up.

You almost had everything you needed to hand to MI6, get your obscenely large payout, and get on to another gig while they threw all of these bastards into cells to rot for the rest of their miserable lives. Just one more trip. After whatever horrible things they lay out in Tokyo you’ll be set.

Tokyo is one of those cities you can lose yourself in. Like New York but better for its interesting balance of vibrancy and grounded reserve. You absolutely love it.

The whole point of the trip, at least on the surface, was to focus on Fashion Week Tokyo. Honestly, there was a part of you that wished this was your world. Nothing but runway shows and after parties. Writing about the latest trends rather than delving into the inner workings of the worlds miscreants

Oh well. It was nice enough to pretend. You had to admit that you’d miss Charlie Daniels once you shed this skin in a couple of weeks.

You’re sitting two people down from your boss at an underground show. The level of security here screams that there are other things going on behind the scenes but it’s still a room filled with a who’s who of the Japanese and international fashion communities.

This was your third show of the day, and you knew there would be a party after where you’d have to schmooze all while plucking information from your unsuspecting fellow guests. You’re exhausted. So rather than pay much attention to the show you let your mind wander.

When she walks out you feel her rather than see her.  Slowly you turn your head to stare dumbstruck at the model walking onto the catwalk. Your heart begins beating against your ribs, your mouth goes dry, your hands shake.

It takes every ounce of control you have to keep your emotions in. To not scream “Natasha!” at the top of your lungs. To not grab her and run for the hills. Charlie Daniels and her easy life be damned. It’s hard but you manage.

As she turns and comes back down, passing now closer to you, her eyes don’t graze  the crowd at all. Head up, shoulders back, she walks the runway like she’d been doing it for years.

The rest of the show is maybe ten minutes but it feels like years. You know the models are all attending the party. Eye candy for the high end guests.

It’s fairly easy to ditch your coworkers in the crowd as you try to find the best vantage point in the room without being too obvious. After a solid twenty minutes, you find yourself planning an escape route. Most of the models are milling about but she’s no where to be seen. You will find her.

But you know you can’t skip out just yet. At the bar, you order a red wine and make yourself seen. Charlie would never miss the whole party after all. You spend a bit chatting with designers and a few models, feigning interest in the whole thing until you hear your boss call out to you.

“Oy, Charlie!” Carl’s voice alone makes you want to put him down. When you turn he’s waving you over to the bar. Sighing heavily you head over.

You’re about ten feet away when you see her, head back laughing at something Carl or his friend had said. Both men are far to close to her for your liking and the hungry look on Carl’s face sets your blood boiling.

He slings an arm around your shoulders and you carefully coach your face to not show disgust. “Charlie here is my best writer. Doin’ some pieces for us on this whole thing,” he waves his other hand around wildly.

“Good to meet ya, Charlie, I’m Dan,” the other man, clearly American says.

“Likewise,” Natasha doesn’t react to the accent at all.

“This here is-”

“Natalie,” Natasha cuts him off, extending a hand to you. Holding her eyes with yours you take it. It’s like touching a live wire.

“Natalie is an American model working here in Japan. May be a good topic for a piece.” He ribs you leaning closer, “And a good piece for the office eh?” Suddenly that MI6 money seems far less appealing.

“I’d love that,” Natasha beams. “Why don’t you guys go mingle and Charlie and I can chat!” The men exchange a glance, but there’s plenty of fresh meat around to sink their teeth into.

Carl flashes you a greasy smile and a wink as he walks away. Thinking clearly that you’re going to snare this woman for him. You, unfortunately, had a few others. Not something you were proud of. Demands of the job you told yourself.

“She’ll take a vodka neat,” you tell the bartender.

“Yes,” Natasha smiles at him, “Whiskey for her. Makers if you have it.” He thinks nothing of it and makes your drinks.

“So, how’s modeling in Japan?”

“Probably about as good as writing for a sleazy jackal.”

You laugh, “That bad? What’s the goal.”

“Getting a cover,” you commend the clever word play.

“That’s a good goal. Long term?”

“Something like that.” She takes a sip of her vodka, “How long are you here?”

“End of the week.” Your skin itches to touch her. The men are rounding back. You hold her gaze and shift your eyes back to them. She catches on.

“Perfect! It’s so hard to have a good interview here, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely. Why don’t you come by my hotel?” You whip out your spare key card. “I’d love to get your story for the mag, maybe do a full feature.”

“A feature would be excellent exposure!”

“Wouldn’t it?” Carl slides up next to her. “We can get you all the exposure you could want Ms. Natalie.”

“Charlie was telling me all about it.” She flashes him a coy smile. “Thank you so much Charlie! I forgot I have a late fitting tonight for another show so I’ve got to run. But we’ll chat soon yeah?”

“Absolutely! It was so good to meet you Natalie.”

“Same! Bye!” She hurries through the crowded room and disappears.

“Busy girl.” Carl quips. “Whiskey?” You look down at the glass by your hand.

“Some guy sent them over,” you gesture to Natasha’s lipstick stained glass. “Seemed rude to refuse. Can’t stand the stuff though.”

“That’s a mans drink,” Carl laughs at his own perceived joke and you force a smile.

Somehow you make it through the rest of the evening. You’d refused to allow yourself to hope that she’d be here, too obvious to come the same night, better to wait. Kicking off your shoes you head straight to the mini bar and crack open a whiskey, downing it in one gulp.

“You really need to be more careful,” Natasha’s voice comes from the bathroom. “I mean not even checking around. Sloppy.”

“Charlie Daniels doesn’t have to check for Russian assassins in her bathroom,” a smile pulls your face so tight it hurts.

“Well, Natalie Rushman isn’t a Russian spy. So…”

You let your real accent resurface as you pull her into your arms, “Natalie Rushman, I don’t know if that’s clever or lazy.” She kisses you hard, tongue sliding over your lips hands gripping your ass.

“Mmm,” she hums. “Kinda like the accent.”

“Oh?” You revert to the clipped posh Londoner sound. “Would you rather be with Charlie? I hate to break it to you, she’s strictly into dick so you may need to get a bit creative.”

Natasha’s head falls back with laughter, “I’m always into a challenge but,” she cups your face in her hands, “I’d much rather Y/N, she’s got a cute accent too.” Your kiss is soft this time, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, honey.” Gently you push a strand of hair out of her face. “Is this smart? Are you gonna get-”

“I’m good. I wouldn’t be here if I thought there was risk.” She pulls away and tugs you toward the bed. “There’s no surveillance on me here, I check in every week, that’s it. This is strictly to build a cover.”

“Cover for what?” She gives you a sideways glance. “Right. National security.”

“Do you really want to talk about work?”

Smirking at her you push her back on the bed. “Maybe later.”

You lean down to her but she stops you by planting a strappy heel in the center of your chest. Trailing your fingers down her leg you snag a knife from her thigh holster. Carefully you slide the blade under the straps, the incredibly sharp edge cuts through the thin suede like it’s nothing.

“Those were very expensive you know,” eyes sparkling with desire.

You slip the shoe off and toss it aside. “I’ll buy you a new pair.” Your lips press against her ankle.  

Everything in your life until her was so fleeting. Even your own name, the sound of your own voice, who you were… But with her, you were grounded. You weren’t anything but her’s, you were Y/N.

Suddenly you’re overwhelmed. Caressing her muscular calf you just stare at her eyes. Emerald green, dark liner, lids heavy with lust and exhaustion.

“Natasha…” Your voice cracks and you fight for composure.

“Y/N? What is it?” She shoots up, cradling your face in her hands.

You shake your head, unable to really find the words and unwilling to send this storm of emotions to her. “I just…” You cover her hands with your own. It’s not that you don’t want her, you do. But…

“Can we just… I just wanna hold you…” Her expression immediately softens, eyes sparkling a touch with tears. “Sorry… I… I just…”

“I’d love that, baby.” Tenderly her lips brush yours, then your cheeks, your forehead, your eyelids as they flutter closed.

You shed your clothes and crawl into the plush bed. Holding tight to one another you spend hours drifting in and out of sleep, covering the other with soft kisses. Before the sun rises your hands wander southward.

This time you don’t fuck one another senseless. It feels like you’re trying to memorize every curve, every sound, every subtle thing that marks being together. You both know you many not get to do this for some time. The knowledge aches but it doesn’t make having her any less sweet.

Post Snap

You lean your head back on the wall behind the booth. The crying man from last night is gone, you find yourself hoping that he’s resting peacefully somewhere… even though you know it’s pointless to hope for such things.

There are more people filling the bar than there was before. The TVs are off, radios turned up, reporters frantically trying to determine what happened. It was global, that was clear. All planes grounded, trains stopped, communications spotty due to damaged cell towers.

A man speaks frantically to someone who seems to be a friend that he was heading to Nuremberg from Budapest, how the roads are almost not navigable. He doesn’t know if his family is even still there but he has to find out.

Despite his distress, your lips curl a bit at the mention of Budapest.

[memecatwings]

I know I said I was going to outline a rewrite for Misfits and I'm doing it so take that executive dysfunction I also compiled a playlist of songs I think best depict the aesthetic of my rewrite so here it is

Ok first off everything past season 3 is just straight up SCRAPPED there were so many horrible gay jokes, and rape jokes as well as transphobia, misogyny, and literal instances of rape so it’s going out the window i accept NONe of it  except Abby the lesbian, Abby the lesbian can stay

Plot-wise,,, nothing much happens in the show aside from interacting with other super-powered people. There really isn’t any suspense or intrigue, I doubt I would have stuck around as long as I did without Robert Sheehan’s chaotic fun energy. And what are the police even doing? They should be able to connect how many people are going missing from the community center, trying to evade the police should be a bigger deal than it’s shown to be in the show, it should be an ongoing challenge that they face not just a one-time thing.

So basically what I’m saying is that after the second probation worker, the police start to take a closer look into the community center, they keep a close eye on the people who spend time there, maybe the cop who arrested Curtis gets assigned the task and that causes some tension. 

Mainly what I wanted to overhaul were the characters and their arcs. I feel like they weren’t really explored to their full potentials and it really disappointed me especially where Nathan and Curtis’ characters were concerned. None of the characters were really done any justice but I was most upset about those two so that’s where most of my notes are. I was mainly upset about the whole thing where they sold their powers, and then bought back completely different powers, I felt like that cheapened the whole thing where the superpowers were specifically tailored to each person's insecurities and fears. Having a power that is the physical manifestation of your insecurities was a good way to address those issues that the characters have and help them overcome them I don’t know why you would throw that away especially when you haven’t even taken the time to develop them. So I’d like to ditch that entirely. There still is a point where they sell their powers because that in and of itself wasn’t bad, it teaches them to appreciate what they were given, but they get the exact ones back. Basically, all of the events that happen are the same except the ones I specify in the following:

Curtis Curtis’ arc and his ability to rewind time reflect his inability to accept things the way they are. He’s living in the past, he’s so focused on the past that he can’t see what’s right in front of him. He needs to learn how to focus on the present and future. His arc should also reflect overcoming prejudices against him as well as that. The cop who arrested him was also black so if that same cop where to be investigating the community service crew it would provide a chance to discuss racial biases in law enforcement as well as police brutality. It results in a “fuck cops” message in the end but it would be a good chance to at least address the fact that the only reason Curtis was there is because of his skin color in more explicit terms.  Because Curtis is so focused on the past, he doesn’t have any goals for the future. I did really like the point where he had gender fluidity as a power I thought that was a good development for him. It was a chance for him to confront his own toxic masculinity and misogyny, and he comes out of it at the end a more understanding and empathetic person who’s ready to let go of his past. Once Seth gets the rewind time ability back Curtis switches back to his original power, I thought it was cheap that they had Curtis give up gender fluidity because he got pregnant (what even was that honestly is that even possible? It didn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about impregnation to dispute it), so instead of giving it to the iguana it goes back to Curtis, who is shown to be responsible with it. After he gets it back he manages to learn how to control it to its fullest extent. Another thing I thought was cheap was the way the show treated the sexual assault of men, I can’t go into it fully but here’s a great video essay on the subject. Anyways, Alecia did rape Curtis, and that’s not okay. While Alecia learned her lesson on misusing her power, what she did to Curtis should not have just been written off, Curtis was right to be upset with her and that shouldn’t have ended with them as a couple in my opinion.  The last thing I would change where Curtis is concerned is that I think Curtis should have been the man in the mask, not Simon. Curtis has the athletic history, he’s got the right metal profile, he’s got the ability to time travel, and, most of all, vigilante justice would provide what he was looking for when he gave up running: a purpose and a future beyond bartending. Maybe he goes back in time to warn them all about the evil milk guy, he was the only person immune to his lactose powers. After saving Alecia from that video game guy (Tim? Was Tim his name?) he goes back to his time but not before warning them about Milk Man. And the reason Future Curtis survived Tim(?) was that he wasn’t a dumbass and wore a bulletproof vest. 

Alecia  Alecia’s got a lot to unpack and it’s very clear that she was treated like shit by the writers. Her power was the physical manifestation of her belief that her value as a person is proportional to the number of people who want to have sex with her. She’s internalized this toxic mindset to such a high degree that she developed a superpower over it. Her character arc should revolve around her unlearning that mindset. She needs to stop viewing herself as a sex object and start viewing herself as a person. That journey of self-discovery and growth should start after Curtis rejects her for using her power on him without his consent. It kick-starts a realization in her that using her power on people is essentially raping them, even if they don’t remember it. So she stops and focuses her time on finding someone who can either get rid of her power or is unaffected by it. Alecia is the one who finds Seth first and sells her power. The main point of her arc should be that while statistically, men are more likely to perpetrate sexual assault, women can too and it’s neither okay or funny. After getting rid of her power Alecia shows a lot of regret for the way she used it when she first got it and pays Seth extra to get rid of it entirely because no one should be able to use that power.  Now let’s look at Alecia’s romance with Simon. As a concept, it isn’t bad, but the way it was executed was kind of horrible. It reduced Alecia to an object, a damsel in distress. She had no agency of her own she was just the mourning girlfriend and I hated that. If the masked man wasn’t Simon and didn’t tell her she fell in love with him, she never would have fallen in love with him and that’s the truth. Their relationship is basically a self-fulfilling prophecy that just resulted in the two of them being stuck in this time loop where one of them dies and the other overcome with grief and it’s just not healthy. Take that aspect away from their relationship and it wouldn’t be all that bad. So what I propose is Alecia helps Simon with murder cover-ups and gives him dating advice because she’s highly socially intelligent. Alecia is a people person and is good at reading body language so she could tip Simon off when something’s wrong. Over time they end up falling in love because they both see each other as real people, not just “hot girl” and “creepy nerd guy”.  They both wind up helping Curtis with his vigilante operation, Alecia being recon while Simon is tech. 

Simon Simon’s ability to turn invisible represents how he feels whenever he tries to make friends or interact with a group he wishes to be a part of, which is why before he can control it, it activates only when the rest of the group ignores him. Simon’s arc should be about breaking out of his shell and learning to assert himself in social situations especially against the bullies he faces. He needs to find a group of people who listen to his opinion and take him seriously, he spends the show attempting to impress the others and gain their approval and he does gain their attention and approval. He gains it after repeatedly keeping the police off their trail. In this version, Simon getting seduced by the probation worker goes marginally less successfully because of Alecia’s advice. She still ends up dead by accident but Alecia was involved as well and helps Simon get rid of the body and clean up the blood. As I’ve already established, I don’t like Simon as the masked man. Simon’s personality is more suited for tech support, just because he breaks out of his introvert shell and makes a few friends doesn’t mean he goes around jumping off of buildings now he’s still an introvert.  Something else I think the show should have gone into deeper is Simon’s history of being bullied. The way Nathan, specifically, treats Simon should have been a bigger issue. In this version, maybe Alecia tries to convince Simon to stand up for himself and confront Nathan over what he says, stand his ground y‘know. And maybe there’s some sort of emergency with his sister, with his emotions being so high strung while his sister is in trouble he snaps and calls the rest of the gang out on how they’ve treated him. They eventually apologize and Nathan encourages Simon to mock him back rather than just standing there and taking it.  Simon does find respect and friendship in the community service gang and the power of friendship gives him the strength to finally confront his childhood bully. Maybe it happens by Curtis saving him and Simon, knowing who he is, tracks him down and lets the guy Have It. Maybe he breaks the dude's nose too but who’s keeping track. The point is, Simon’s sister is ok, he’s got a partner who respects him, he’s a superhero, and he’s living his best life. 

Kelly Kelly was pretty short-changed by the show in my opinion. Kelly’s ability reflects that she struggles with self-acceptance, she’s so worried about what other people think about her that she doesn’t think about herself. Her arc should be about accepting yourself for who you are and not caring about what other people think of you. Kelly is highly emotionally intelligent and that shows in the way she handles relationships, she knows what she wants, she doesn’t accept people keeping important secrets, and she’s good at keeping personal secrets personal. She’s an excellent confidant. I wish the show had gone into Kelly’s relationship with the hair girl more. That was an interesting budding friendship that showcased Kelly’s want to help people. By hearing people inner thoughts, Kelly learns she can help people overcome their issues and become better people. I think she’d make an excellent Mom Friend. I also think because she’s hearing everyone’s thoughts all the time, she’d take up an interest in psychology. She can help Simon keep the police off of their trail while diffusing serious fights amongst the gang and ensuring nobody keeps any major secrets. And helping her friends sort out their personal issues and shit could help her with her own shit. She learns that everyone struggles with self-acceptance and that the best way for her to live is to just not care what other people think about her. She becomes unapologetically herself over the course of the story.  I liked the way Kelly’s relationship with Nathan resolved so that can stay it’s an important message that men and women can just be regular friends. Not just regular friends, they’re Best Friends. Nathan’s got a lot going on psychologically and Kelly is the only person he can talk to because he doesn’t even need to talk she just hears his thoughts and shares her own in return. She’s trustworthy with a secret when she knows it’s supposed to be a secret.  After community service, she goes off to get a degree in psychology.

Nathan My biggest beef, my largest cow you might say, with the tv show is how spectacularly disappointing Nathan’s entire character was. There was a lot they had to work with with him and they did nothing, they barely scratched the surface with how deep his character could have gone. Nathan is the one character whose power is never explained. It’s not really shown why Nathan developed this specific power. With everyone else, it’s pretty easy to infer why they got what they did but with Nathan, there’s practically nothing to work with so I took creative license this is mine now.  So why does Nathan develop immortality? Why is he literally impossible to kill? Well, it’s established that he’s wildly desperate for his mothers' attention and love, it’s to the point where he tries to chase off all of her boyfriends because he thinks that her loving them means she loves him less but that is a Whole Separate can of worms, but because he’s so desperate for attention it’s not outside the realm of possibility that he might have attempted suicide as a cry for help. I’d guess some time in his late teens (?) he may have OD’d at a party but when he woke up in the hospital nobody was there. The nurse told him that his emergency contacts couldn’t be reached and so he came to the conclusion that nobody would notice, or care if he died. That idea stuck with him and terrified him to the point where, when he developed a superpower, it was Not Dying so he wouldn’t have to worry about no one caring if he’s dead. His ability to see ghosts is also a weird thing that’s not really explained it might just be a side effect of dying and coming back to life. It’s also not established if Nathan has eternal youth as well as immortality, he could be looking at a Jack Harkness situation. It is possible though, that dying kind of resets his body to the state it was in when he got struck by the lightning that gave him his power. So he ages until he dies and then he turns young again or something like that. In addition to Nathan’s power, my other beef is with how his character arc was ended. It was wildly out of character with what was established with him. Nathan Young is a character who is controlled by his fears of emotional intimacy and commitment as well as an extreme amount of performative masculinity and what could be interpreted as internalized homophobia. He’s also got a whole cocktail of parental issues (he would rather be arrested than accept help from his dad) that mean, while he does like kids, he probably has a major fear of becoming a parent. The kind of person with those issues would not commit to a relationship with a pregnant woman, adopt her child, and get hitched in Vegas I’m sorry but I’m not buying it I don’t accept it. That’s canceled. It’s broke.  Another thing I’d like to change is the plot line with his brother. That bit was an excellent chance to bring to light the fact that Nathan is definitely bi. If Nathan’s brother came out to him as gay it would get him to consider his own sexuality in a way he hadn’t done before. It would get him to recognize that all of the homophobic jokes and the picking on Simon are because he’s insecure about his attraction to men and he’s afraid of other people recognizing that attraction and turning him into a target for violence. So he acts in a way he believes to be as Straight As Possible in order to avoid that outcome. All of the Adorkable Misogyny that Nathan takes part in is just a front to cover his own fears that if he doesn’t act that way someone Will hurt him and Nathan is all about self-preservation. Nathan manages to get over a lot of his fears and insecurities just by having good friends, honestly. He talks to Kelly a lot and she helps him work through shit. But it does take a while, it’s a slow going process trying to convince someone who turns everything into a joke as a coping mechanism to take his feelings seriously.  I feel like Nathan would be the kind of person to go on a backpacking trip across the world to “Find Himself” once his community service is over. Kelly offered to let him stay in her flat until he found a job but he declined because he didn’t want to rely on her. Also what job would he even get? He would inevitably end up blowing his brains out on live television for a living and that's just a given. So in the end, Nathan’s arc would be about emotionally maturing. 

As far as other characters go, mainly it’s the same except everyone introduced after season 3 is canceled except for Abby but especially Alex. Alex can drop dead. Abby is allowed to stay but the whole thing with the tortoise? Wack. That was weird and it’s scrubbed. I hated Fin too tbh. Jess is cool as long as she isn’t dating Rudy. And between Curtis having Zero Tolerance for sexual harassment behavior that ideally would transfer over to the other male characters, and Nathan’s newly accepted bisexuality, there’s no room for any of Rudy’s shitty behavior.  I like the superpower support group thing that was cool that can stay too. Seasons 4 and 5 would ideally consist of attempting to evade the police and interacting with the support group.  And controversial opinion probably but I think I’d end it with them getting caught or at least going on the run.

[late2theshow]

Blue Does not know Gay Part 3

Yellow was not looking forward to the thought of going on a date with a guy. Blue didn’t take any of her hints that she wasn’t interested and instead went along with getting Jermaine’s number and finding out when he will be free next.  So now Yellow is sitting at a bar stool in a local bar waiting this man to come over.  She was hoping he wouldn’t show up.  But to her dismay he did. And he brought a flower.  Great.

Yellow knew she shouldn’t be rude, but she was annoyed.  She cancelled on White to see this guy and to make matters worse Blue is in some sort of mood because of this, and it was her idea in the first place!

“Uh, hi, you must be Yellow….Is that your nickname?”

She rolled her eyes. Here we go…..

“No—its my first name. I get that a lot”

“Sorry, I hope I didn’t offend?”

“You didn’t, trust me”

He seemed so casual. She felt at ease around him despite only knowing him for a few seconds.  

 Meanwhile on the other side of town Blue was sulking over not having anyone to hang out with.  Her roommate was now getting an earful on how Yellow ditched her.

 “She didn’t even call me today, like seriously? How rude is that?”

Her roommate shrugged. “Well, maybe she is excited to go on this date and forgot.  You said she hasn’t dated a boy the entire time she has been in college”

“I know, but the least I could have seen her before her date?”

Her roommate paused before answering.  It was almost as if Blue was jealous of her friend’s date.

“You know, I have a few cute boys who would go out with you.” Her roommate inquired.

Blue shook her head “I don’t want to date I just want—” Blue didn’t know what she wanted other than Yellow. But that made no sense.  Why did she only want a girl’s company and no one else.  

What does that make her?

“want what?”

“I don’t know.  I just don’t want to date any guys right now”

“But does that mean your friend shouldn’t date either?”

“No, your right.  I just miss hanging out with her”

“Blue…..it’s been only been a day since you’ve seen her”

 Back with Yellow; her and Jermaine were hitting it off.  They like the same music, sports, both hate their pre-law professor and they both go to the same bars; just not on the same nights.  Turns out Jermaine is gay and just dates girls that his friends suggest to not be judged.  

“Truthfully I was not looking forward to this date.  I was afraid I would have to go home with you” Yellow joked.  

“I would have just stuck you with the bill; I did that once and the girl told all her friends I was a scumbag and none of them bothered me again”

The two shared a laugh.

“So, what’s next?” Yellow asked

“Girl. let’s finish this martini”

“What about, what we tell everyone after tonight? I am assuming you’re not out of the closet?”

“No.  What about you?”

“I’m out but, not open. I a few women from the debate team tried to question it—But I told them I’m too focused on school”

“Same here.  Do we just tell people that we don’t connect?”

Yellow sipped her drink “It’s kind of a shame we actually do”

Jermaine chuckled “I know, right? If only you had a Y chromosome, then Yellow, you could be my soulmate”

Yellow laughed “And if only your name was Blue Sommabai; you would then be mine”

Jermaine raised an ear brow “Sommabai? You mean Diana’s roommate the Indian girl with the Irish accent? She was the one who hooked us up”

Yellow’s eyes went wide. How could she forget that Blue knew this guy?

“Yeah” Yellow looked away “I’ve been sort of…. pining for her for a few weeks now; I figured the thought was mutual but –its clearly not; since she stuck me with you.  No offense”

“Oh, none taken.  If it makes you feel better Diana tried to hook Blue up with everyone one of my roommates.  Blue didn’t take anyone up on the offer.  And I live with a ton of hot hots so—its clear she is gay”

Yellow shook her head “No—trust me she is not.  I mean she could be a little handsy, but she doesn’t even know what gay is.  She asked me to go to church with her one Sundays”

“She might be far in the closet”

“I think she might be buried in the closet”

Jermaine finished his drink “Maybe you need to dig her out.  She’s cute.  When her roommate told me about you—she made you sound like you were one hot ticket”

“What did she say?”

Jermaine laughed “You got it bad for her”

Yellow rolled her eyes “a bit, but seriously what did she say?”

 The next day

 Blue was still mad—she chose to take the day off and not go to class.   Yellow still didn’t call her.  She was getting mad over it.  Its now been 48-hours without seeing her.  Blue decided to leave and head to Yellow’s dorm.  She knew Yellow goes straight home on Tuesday’s after her business law class.  

Yellow was surprised to hear a loud knock on her door. “forget your key again?” she asked. Assuming it was her roommate. Once she opened the door she saw Blue; furious and ready to rush into the apartment to yell.  

“You could have called before you came over” Yellow stated.  Finding this slightly rude.

“Why is Jermaine here?” Blue snapped.  She was in the living room now.  Looking in to the kitchen to see if he was there.  “Did I interrupt your evening? Do you still need to make him breakfast and send him on his way?”

“Blue its 3pm and you know I get out of class at 1!  You know Jermaine still have classes.  What’s your problem?”

“You never called me! Not even before your date!”

“I was busy!”

“Too busy to call?”

“Yes!”

They never fought before but they were both on edge.  Blue was mad at her for being ignored and Yellow was mad because she and Jermaine didn’t come up with a good lie, except we’ll just be friends.

“So is he your boyfriend now?” Blue questioned.

“No, just friends”

“Just friends?”

“Yes”

Blue signed and sat down on the couch “I was so upset and worried.  What if you had a bad time? Or what if you had a really good time? I’m sorry”

“Sorry for snapping at me? or—”

“I’m sorry I don’t know how to feel”

Yellow was confused. But wanted to assume she knew what Blue was feeling.  Blue looked over to see and frowned “I thought that we were close because we were both single ladies; but the idea of you dating someone made me so mad—”

“You’re the one that made me go on this date, remember?”

“I know but—I didn’t think you would!”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know” Blue then felt her face heat up.  I thought you would rather hang out with me”

“I would”

Blue smiled “Really?”

“Of course, I only went out with Jermaine because I knew your roommate was trying to play match maker and so were you”

“I was. I just regret it now….”

“don’t.  If it makes you feel better, I don’t want to date any other guys at all”

“You mean until after college?” Blue questioned

Yellow shook her head “No, not even after college”

“Well then when? When do you want to get married?”

Yellow shrugged “Well, I might get married; but I don’t want to marry a man”

Blue paused “Then…who would you marry?”

Yellow didn’t say anything and just looked at her; a slightly worried face.  Blue’s eyes widened “Then that means—”

She was finally going to get it.

Blue looked at her “You don’t like boys, so that means….”

Yellow nodded her head.

“Oh.”

That’s all she said was. Oh.

“You know what I’m saying right?”

“I think”

“Blue.  I’m gay.  I like women. I’d rather date a woman”

“Oh.”

“Oh? that’s it?”

“well.  I just didn’t know.  I was raised catholic, Yellow.  No one talks about these things to people.  You’re the only gay person I ever met”

Yellow grinned “Jermaine is gay.  My roommate is gay.  Heather from your accounting class is gay and your roommate Diane’s cousin is gay”

“Audrey?”

“Yes”

“How do you know?”

“I slept with Audrey”

Blue gasped.  “Oh my God! You’re the Blonde Mullet asshole who wouldn’t return her phone calls!?”

Yellow cringed. “Audrey is a bit much.  Too much for me”

Blue sat back on the couch and laughed “Wow, this whole time I thought you were shy.  Turns out you slept with every gay guy and gay girl in town”

“No, I only slept with four women and two of them happen to be our age”

“Ever slept with a man?”

“No, but I kissed one and it was terrible.  Middle school dance; Doug Parker.  We were both the highest-grade students; we had no choice”

“Did you ever think of men? In a romantic way?”

“When I was 10.  Then I grew to lose all interest in men”

Blue pondered for a moment and asked, “So you would rather date women?”

“Yes” Yellow was now worried that Blue might wish to stop being friends after this revelation.  

“Do you find all women attractive?”

“Some I do.  I really can’t say I have a type”

“Would I be one of your types? Do you find me attractive?”

Yellow felt uncomfortable; her face was getting warm.  If she says the wrong thing she could ruin the friendship.  

“Blue, I don’t want to mess up our friendship”

Blue sat closer “You wont if your honest to me?”

Yellow looked away nervously “Well, you are very attractive.  I always assumed you liked men, So I never made any action that could have been deemed inappropriate”

“Well.  I feel bad now, I’ve been clinging on to you and undressing in front of you, and I forced you into that underwear store last week. I’ve been making it inappropriate for you”

“Well, I didn’t know you knew what a lesbian was”

“I could have looked it up. I’m not stupid Yellow, I beat you in scrapple six times before”

“I let you win the first time”

“Bullshit”

“Okay, we are off topic. But seriously, I didn’t know how to bring it up, so I never did”

Blue frowned “Well, I wish you never felt you had to hide it”

“it’s okay”

Blue moved closer to Yellow. Making Yellow more uneasy about this situation.   She wanted to evade the topic now.  She couldn’t figure out what Blue was thinking.

“Well, Jermaine and I are now friends.  I might try to hook him up with my roommate.  He wants to go out next Thursday to a bar on the other side of town. I would invite you but it’s a gay bar”

“I’ll go with you”

“Really?”

“Yes really”

“I mean you might get hit on.”

“As long I get to flirt with you” Blue said that without really thinking.  But wasn’t embarrassed to admit that.  

Yellow was—she was red in the face after hearing that statement.  Blue giggled and stood up “Well I am sorry that I barged in to yell at you, but if its okay I’ll see you Thursday”

Yellow nodded “Sounds good”

Once Blue left Yellow covered her face with her hands and felt her face—completely hot; she must have been red as a beat.  Blue was okay with her being gay and wanted to go to a gay bar with her. She always hoped Blue like her like that; but how on earth would she handle babysitting Blue while keeping her own crush on her in check?

[werevulvi]

My bisexuality in detransition

I may not look it but I am a WLW as well. I’ve been meaning to talk about this, for a while now. It’s been on my mind a lot. I came out as bisexual first when I was 15, after I had been crushing hard on a girl of my age a year earlier, in a church group I went to for confirmation. (Yes, this Satanist has been confirmed). Coming out as bi, I was accepted and mostly understood by my friends and family, but I struggled to accept and understand it myself.

Maybe I was too quick on coming out. Later on I got several bad experiences of trying to date women who pretended to be into me and led me on to then ditch me and say "oh actually I'm straight". How much it hurt to be fooled by women who weren't actually into me. Whether they were only doing it for male attention or cause of wanting to experiment, I don't know, but they were dishonest either way. And the ones who pretended to like my touch out of politeness before I noticed they'd rather I wasn't there at all, and it instantly put me off and made me feel gross. Cause I truly thought it was mutual and my dense asperger arse is not great at reading people's subtle social cues.

Eventually I got sick of it, and hated myself because those dating experiences were a reminder of how rapey I felt like I was for my attraction, because of one of my childhood traumas. So a few years ago, as I lived as a trans man back then, I decided I was gonna call myself gay and only be with men from there on.

I had prior to that point changed what label sexuality I went by several times. It always circled back to bisexual, because my heart is persistent, but I kept denying it and I kept wishing it away.

I had no issue seeing myself as a gay man, because in my mind me with men wasn't really gay anyway, and because I've never had any issue with other people being gay, lesbian, bi, etc. But for me back then, "gay" was a "social label" in a practical meaning, cause in my own reality that was straight, but socially, as I was perceived to be a man by others (i.e. passing) I was also perceived to be gay when I snuggled my boyfriends back then. I was called the slur faggot for that a few times as well, by strangers on the streets. It was also mostly gay and bisexual men that I've dated, and back then I did hang out a lot in MLM spaces.

The thing is I could not see myself with a woman regardless of if I pictured me as a man or a woman myself, but I knew I was attracted to women both sexually and romantically. I mostly got crushes on men and always known for sure I'm sexually attracted to males, but did also get a few occasional crushes on women and knew I was just as sexually attracted to females. But it scared me and because of my past traumas combined with my internalised misogyny, I was afraid that if I'd ever get a girlfriend, my sheer existence would somehow hurt her.

One of the guys I dated in my past is a trans guy, and although I've always seen him as a guy, that experience of having been in a relationship with him during his transition did stir up a lot of my own internalised homo-/biphobia, as well as the emotions within me that would much later on come to be the first stepping stone towards my detransition. That relationship ended almost 2 years ago now. It taught me a lot about myself, but unfortunately, at the expense of his well-being.

Going much further back in time, I have the memory of a very specific traumatic experience of sexual nature in my childhood, that involved me and another girl, and that specific event has caused me to think that I'm somehow wrong, harmful and gross for simply being attracted to women, and wanting mutual, intimate connections with them. I don't want to go into detail about that event and I'm adamant about keeping that girl anonymous, but I also can't talk about my bi-denial without mentioning that event, as it is the most direct cause of why I'm struggling with being bi. So there, I've mentioned it, but let's keep it brief like that.

Accepting my attraction to women has been difficult and taken me a long time, partially because I was in denial of being a woman myself, and because I couldn't love my own female biological reality. It became a subconscious projection of my negative feelings towards my own femaleness and womanhood.

Because I'm bisexual and not a lesbian, I did have the option to quite comfortably stick to only dating men, but denying my attraction to women still affected me negatively (I’m not saying it’s easier or harder as a bisexual or lesbian though). It was that thing always following me around, that I wasn't being true to myself, and it would never rest. I couldn't stop questioning my feelings and my choices. All the opportunities I let pass by cause of my fears. The women I declined proceeding with cause I didn't dare to, even though there was mutual interest. All the crushes I got on women that I decided to ignore out of fear. All the could have been's. Me constantly trying to talk myself into stop being what I actually was.

How that connects to my detransition is subtle, but when I could finally accept myself as a woman and love my female reality, my denial of my attraction to other women also let go of much of its hold on me. Finally I could begin to stop letting my fears hold me back. And as I am single now, I also have the complete freedom to explore my attraction, and test those waters. It's still hard and I'm still scared, and I'm still holding myself back somewhat, but I'm on the right track to fully accepting who I am, my bisexuality included.

[theboldtypeobsession]

The Bold Type - 2x01 - “Feminist Army” Recap

I plan to do these recaps every week but real life takes over and I write when I have time.  I’ve been working on 2x01 & 2x02 recaps since premiere week and between technical difficulties (my laptop is old and turns on when it feels like it) and working crazy hours at work, it’s been slow getting these done.  My recaps are a bit lengthy, so if you’ve got time to read, I hope you do. Also, the episodes always open with the Ladies together so my recaps will (for the most part) start off with the Ladies and then branch off into Kat & Adena’s storylines (they are the 2 characters I relate to the most being a bi-woc). Lastly, any and all feedback, (helpful) criticism and suggestions are welcomed/appreciated!

Season 1 Summary - When we last checked in with the Ladies of The Bold Type: Jane who started as an assistant, now promoted to a writer –her dream job, made a tough decision to move on from Scarlet.  Sutton, the ultimate assistant got an opportunity to dive head first into the world of fashion, where her heart has always been.  Kat, the queen of social media, living her best professional life and even with a few hiccups, is at the top of her game!  Professionally the Trio made plenty of moves, when it came to their personal lives they found themselves at different stages. Jane experienced her first orgasm, got tested for the BRCA gene, decided to give Pinstripe a chance, then decided not to and leaned on her friends through it all. Sutton managed to keep her relationship with Richard (a board member) under lock and key until Kat & Jane found out. After breaking up with Richard, she hooked up with Alex but realized that her heart is still Richard’s.  Kat unexpectedly fell hard for Adena, an artist and proud muslim lesbian who turned her world upside down. As a result, Kat jumped on a plane to be with Adena. At every turn the Ladies have been there for each other, with support, love, a shoulder and wine when needed.

S2 – E1: Feminist Army

The episode picks up 2 weeks after the end of season 1. Kat is on her way back from her international vacation with Adena and Jane & Sutton have decided to be her welcome home party. After several delays, Kat arrives and the Ladies are finally reunited and yes, it feels so good! On the cab ride home, the Trio engage in a “catch me up” session with Jan & Sutton pointing out how sprung Kat is over Adena (who we also find out is on her way to NY, her visa has been approved). The joy is emanating from Kat so much so that she wants to share it with the world, starting with the cab driver.  Since Sutton is always working, there’s a detour stop at a pop-up shop and the Ladies have an awkward, yet laugh out loud worthy run in with Jacqueline (Kat’s facial expression says it all). Jacqueline asks Jane about how things are going and Jane proceeds to tell Jacqueline about the vertical and the stories that she has lined up. Even though Jane no longer works at Scarlet this exchange feels as if she’s trying to convince Jacqueline that she’s a great writer.  With what she’s heard Jacqueline assures Jane that what she’s doing is important and with that she bids the Ladies farewell.

Kat – who has been wearing a permanent smile is dressed for work and engaging with her personal social media audience. She snaps a video as she climbs over Adena, who’s still in bed and clearly trying to stave off the morning sun. Adena tries to coax Kat to come back to bed by suggesting they finish what was started the previous night and although Kat’s face and mouth are in agreement (“I would love to”), she has to go to work. As a compromise, they settle on having lunch…kissing her girlfriend goodbye, Kat heads off to work.

Back into the swing of things at Scarlet, Kat has a full day ahead of her.  First a meeting with Jacqueline who welcomes her back and gets Kat to admit that her need for time off was not just because she wanted a vacation. Kat realized while she was gone that everything important to her was as a result of Scarlet...Adena, Jane, Sutton and her career too and she doesn’t take any of it for granted. Jacqueline brings Kat up to speed on what is needed now that she’s back, including changes to the dot-com and the hiring that needs to happen in the social media department and to start things off, she’s needed for a meeting with the board.

It’s time for the seminar on sexual harassment and Kat and Sutton are both wearing faces of boredom until Richard comes in to make a statement.  As Richard unpacks the latest changes made to the company’s dating policy, Kat sends a text to Sutton to make sure she’s aware that everything Richard is saying is for her.  And just so Sutton understands how much Richard’s statements are for her, Kat being the best friend that she is, raises her hand and asks if the employees who are in different departments/on different levels can date. Richard makes it abundantly clear that it doesn’t matter, department or level as long as they are willing to sign a consent form, it’s a go! Anyone would see this as a victory but Sutton is apprehensive and it’s written all over her face.

Jacqueline and Kat are facing off with the board that consists of white men who are out of touch with how to capture the attention of trendsetters. Kat never one to bite her tongue, interjects and get a chance to school the board on how to engage with millenials…yes, a guy self identifying as a unicorn in fact will start a conversation…score 1 for the social media director…Kat-1 vs. Board-0. While sharing her small victory with Sutton, they are confronted with the latest gossip which happens to be about Sutton. In the midst of dealing with that mini crisis Adena shows up for their scheduled lunch date. The moment Adena speaks Kat’s name, her face lights up and smiles are exchanged between the two. Kat so caught up with everything that’s been going on forget to text Adena to cancel lunch. Kat asks Adena for a rain check and although visibly disappointed, she understandably obliges.

Back at the apartment Kat is greeted with the smell of delicious food and her girlfriend dressed in a kimono with lingerie underneath. It’s clear that Adena has certain things in mind when she makes the statement that she’s been craving Kat all day.  Yet, somehow Kat misses this and goes into a spiel about a Scarlet party she has to attend and would like Adena to go with her. Just as she had done that morning, Adena makes a last ditch effort, unsuccessfully, to get Kat to stay home. Instead, Adena finds herself caving to Kat’s megawatt smile and she agrees to go to the party. To say that Adena is very understanding is an understatement.

While at the party, Jacqueline greets Kat & Adena and Adena has a chance to thank Jacqueline for everything she did for them while in Peru. Since this is a Scarlet party, Jacqueline wants Kat to walk the red carpet and take pictures but when Kat tries to get Adena to participate, Adena declines leaving Kat to wonder why. After fulfilling her red carpet obligations, Kat confronts Adena. Adena explains to Kat that they are still in the beginning stage of their relationship and she feels that Kat is moving too fast. To that Kat reminds Adena that they spent weeks traveling together and now they are essentially living together. Adena tries delicately to clue Kat in on what’s been bothering her but Kat insists that Adena tell it to her straight and that she does. She tells Kat that in her willingness to post pictures on social media of them and to tell everyone who will listen that she has a girlfriend, she’s not ready to go down on her. It was as if the room stood still. Kat is shocked and left speechless, not sure of how to digest what Adena has said to her. Instead of trying to hash things out in the middle of a party, they decide they’ll talk when Kat gets home. With her best friends bearing witness to what is Kat & Adena’s first fight, Sutton knows what they need in that moment –a closet.

For Kat the relationship with Adena is her first ever relationship and with this revelation from Adena’s confession, she’s questioning the relationship, her sexuality and being able to please her girlfriend. Luckily for Kat, she has friends that listen and offer sound advice, reminding her that she’s a newbie and she can’t be worried that she’ll get it right every time. With this bit of reassurance, Kat returns home to Adena who’s waiting up for her. Even though she’s nervous, Kat knows that she has to face Adena. Pushing past her need to “run” at the first sign of trouble, Kat confesses that she feels like she screwed up. To that Adena apologizes for snapping instead of just being honest. This conversation is raw and honest and a sign that both ladies are willing to do the work. Kat owns up to where she fell short, admitting that she hadn’t offered, but also, Adena never asked. Adena kindly reminds Kat of what she said the first night they hung out. In addition, she didn’t want to push her to do anything she wasn’t ready to do or didn’t want to do. Kat takes this opportunity to let Adena know that she’s attracted to her but that she was a little worried and scared. Adena puts Kat’s mind at ease by letting her know that it’s not about the act but it’s about being able to have the hard conversations. Without missing a beat Kat states matter-of-factly that she’s never talked about oral sex so much, not even at Scarlet which is surprising to me since Scarlet prides itself on being a feminist magazine. Then again if Scarlet is perceived as a magazine for straight women, it makes sense.

Kat wants Adena to know that she heard every word she said and she sets out to let her girlfriend know how much she desires her. At this point, Kat can’t help herself and she kisses Adena and that’s all it takes. More stolen kisses and glances lead to a moment when the camera pans out on Kat’s face and in that moment, it’s as if Kat let go of her inhibitions. She realizes that she’s safe with Adena and is willing to give her what she needs and wants and she proceeds to go down on her. Although she may not know exactly what she’s doing, she gives it her best and that’s evident based on Adena’s reaction. Kat has a lot of learning to do and it’s clear that she’s willing to stick and stay.  -

(Sidebar: I cannot recap this episode without mentioning the scene with Kat, Sutton & Sage coming off the elevator…please pay attention to Sutton’s faces during this scene…chuckle worthy.

Also, Kat & Sutton are greeted by Alex who has definitely stepped up his game. He has grown out his facial hair and has graduated from the khakis…he’s getting his “grown man” on and it’s showing up in a pleasant way.

Last thing, do we know why Kat changed her shirt from the checkered green shirt to the printed flowing blouse that she had on when she got home? Each time I’ve watched the episode I’ve had the same thought.

P.S. I’m working on the recaps for 2x02 & 2x03...hope to have them both done before 2x04 airs.)

[lesbian-ed]

A friend of mines(bi women) told me that "liking pussy was a acquired taste but most people enjoy penetration(and thus penis)". I don't believe lesbians who use a strap on are fake or straight girls who don't like penetration as gay. So she clearly felt like she won the argument. Why i'm relief I can even talk to my friend about shit like this,It sickens me that she thinks not liking penis is unnatural. That the only reason i don't is because i was bullied for not wanting it in the first 1/2

place. I don’t feel comfortable around her any more and i’m sure if I told her,she just take that as conformation of her being right. While I know what I don’t like and I can’t force myself to do so. I did hesitate on if liking vulva is a fetish. Since it doesn’t have any “active function” as in I like what I was doing to it(e.g eating my gf out) not what it was doing to me(penetrating). All this is technically true so i didn’t know what to say that. 2/2

That’s a load of patriarcal and lesbophobic bullshit to debunk, so here I come.

Sex does not have to involve penetration in any form, unless you want it to. The idea that sex=penetration (aka PiV) is extremely male-centrist and heterosexual - it is the idea that a penis is essential for a sexual act to happen, and it’s just plain wrong. Lesbians who enjoy penetration do exist - in this case, they will use fingers, or sex toys. They’re not at all the same thing as a penis. Besides, sex toys that are designed for women’s pleasure don’t look like dicks. Lesbians who do not enjoy penetration also do exist, and that doesn’t make lesbian sex any less sexual.

To present heterosexuality as the standard of sexuality for humans is both homophobic/lesbophobic and extremely wrong. Homosexuality has existed throughout history - only, in the heteropatriarchal society we live in, homosexuals have been unrelentlessly erased and eliminated, made into deviants and monsters. This is exactly what your friend is doing by painting lesbian sex as unnatural, learned, “an acquired taste”. She is giving in this patriarchal bullshit and perpetuating it, consciously dare I say, since she has said all this shit to you, a lesbian. She doesn’t respect you or care for you. She’s hella lesbophobic.

Other things I’d like to come back to : vagina/vulva cannot be a fetish, as a fetish is a sexual fixation on something that is not inherently sexual - and sexual organs are, well, sexual. There is no active or passive role in lesbian sex, and I will argue that there should not be in any sex, as sex is an act of mutuality, not taking over someone, or taking possession of someone. Still, lesbian sex is profoundly mutual. (I am of course, not talking about rape)

My advice to you is to ditch her. She obviously doesn’t deserve you and perpetuates violent lesbophobic rape-y rhetoric. You will find actual friends that love and respect you and care for you, I promise.

Mod C.

[player-0ne]

Estranged - Chapter One

Chapter Name: The Breaking Point

Chapter Rating: E for explicit language and sexual themes, although no smut happens yet.

Story Rating: E for explicit

A03:

Pauline had come to the Mushroom Kingdom to have a sleepover with some of her dearest friends, including the esteemed Princess Peach. Now-- whenever she was near the princess, Pauline always found herself in a compromising position. Of course, it wasn’t entirely accidental. Pauline wanted very badly to claim the alluring woman as her own, but her heart belonged to Mario, and so the mayor would just get as close to the woman as possible without crossing boundaries. Or, rather… that had been her intention.

As it happened, she found herself in a very confusing situation, the likes of which she had never dealt with before. She and the two princesses had gone to her royal quarters in preparation for the night, which was generally where they liked to hang out, and they had gotten into the usual sleepover shenanigans. While Pauline was a grown woman, she found their somewhat childish interactions to be amusing, and so she played along.

Currently, they were playing a game called “Never Have I Ever.” She had been shocked to find out that Peach was willing to listen to Daisy’s suggestion, and she had had “strawberry tart” liqueur shots made and brought up to them. Straight girls were really weird about their sleepovers, Pauline knew this from first-hand experience, and she supposed that it was normal to get a little tipsy when there are no men around, but that still didn’t explain her current situation. It had started out normal, with Daisy smirking and looking directly at Peach.

“Never have I ever ridden dick,” she said. Peach turned bright red, sticking her tongue out before taking a shot. Pauline stayed as she was, smirking a little. If they kept it to straight girl things, she’d be fine all night.

“Alright, yeah, ha-ha,” said Peach, before looking directly at Daisy, “well never have I ever ridden-” she stopped herself, turning red, “y-you know…”

“Ridden what, Peach?” asked Daisy, wearing a shit-eating grin.

“G-girls…” mumbled Peach. Daisy nodded, gladly taking a shot.

“Right, that’s what you were gonna say,” she quipped. Pauline cautiously took a shot as well, avoiding eye contact with both of them. Well, that was one way to come out. While having a sleepover. Great. Daisy, however, just hooted and gave her a high-five, while Peach looked moderately surprised. Right, it was Pauline’s turn now.

“Hmm…” she murmured, trying to think of one that would make them both lose, “never have I ever kissed someone and actually liked it.” Both women just looked really surprised.

“What? Oh, sweetie…” muttered Daisy, “that’s no good!” She took a shot, and as did Peach. Pauline shrugged.

“It is what it is,” she said, “I just worry about the city and its people, romance can wait. Anyway, that kinda dampened the mood, didn’t it? We should keep the game rolling.”

“No no no,” said Daisy, “we have to fix this!”

“H-wait what?” asked Pauline, “fix what?!”

“The whole kissing thing! It isn’t fair for a woman your age not to enjoy herself!” exclaimed Daisy, seeming like she had been personally violated.

“What are you suggesting I do..?” inquired Pauline, growing skeptical.

“Easy! I could just kiss you. I’m a great kisser!” offered Daisy. What.

“E-Excuse me?” managed Pauline.

“I mean, you said you liked girls,” reasoned Daisy, “and you’re pretty cute. I could just show you what a good kiss feels like, that way you can’t keep moping around!”

“I mean… no,” said Pauline, “I don’t think that’s a good idea at all.”

“Why not?” asked Daisy.

“Well, for one, you aren’t single,” said Pauline, “and on top of it, you’ve had two shots. It feels wrong, I’d rather deal with you when you have a clear head. Maybe we should just move onto the next question?” Daisy pouted, and she looked like she was about to argue, when Peach chimed in.

“Daisy,” she said, giggling a little, “I think that you may be too much for our guest to handle. Let’s move on.” Huffing, Daisy agreed and continued the game.

“Never have I ever gone down on someone,” she said. Pauline glared at her, taking a shot. Peach continued.

“Never have I ever been gone down on!” she exclaimed. Pauline did not take a shot, but Daisy did. After she was finished, she looked to Pauline.

“What, really?! We need to-”

“NO!!” Peach and Pauline yelled in tandem, shutting her down. She grumbled something about the government these days before continuing.

“Never have I ever had dirty thoughts about Pauline,” said Daisy, smirking at Peach. They stared at one another for a long second, while Pauline shamelessly took a shot. She was gorgeous, of course she’d had some less-than-polite thoughts about herself. I mean, look at her! Just as she set her glass down, she saw Peach take a deep breath, grabbing her shot glass and throwing back a shot, before setting it back down and refusing eye contact. Daisy smirked, winking at Pauline and mouthing the words ‘you’re welcome.’ While in the castle after-hours, she had come back to collect something that she had left behind, and walked in on Peach making some quite telling noises. There was a long moment of silence, before Peach realized that it was her turn.

“Oh-um… how about we play another game?” she asked, still blushing.

“Dibs on choosing!” yelled Daisy. Peach furrowed her brow, but consented, as did Pauline.

“Great. Spin the bottle,” sang Daisy, already hopping to her feet and going to grab an empty bottle.

“Wait no-” exclaimed Peach.

“Actually, you know what? I’ll be back in a while, I don’t know where I’m gonna find an empty bottle, so I’ll have to search the whole castle. You two just have fun together!” called Daisy, already out the door.

“What?!” exclaimed Peach and Pauline. There was no response.

“Daisy certainly is a character,” said Pauline, leaning back on her elbows on the floor and staring at the ceiling.

“Yeah, she’s… definitely something,” responded Peach, laughing nervously.

“What did she mean by- oops!” they had both spoken at the same time.

“You first,” Peach prompted, receiving a nod from Pauline.

“What do you think she meant by ‘have fun?’” she asked. Peach sighed, flopping onto the ground next to her.

“Oh, stars…” she muttered, “it’s just that… well, she heard something I said and…” Peach fumbled for words, her face turning a deep red.

“What’s wrong, princess?” Pauline adjusted herself so that she could see the other woman, looking curious.

“I… uh…” Peach looked to her, her entire face red, “gosh you’re close… well, um… It’s just… I’ve been wondering how lesbians… well… how they… you know..?” Pauline’s eyes widened. “How they have sex?” she asked, receiving a quick, embarrassed nod from her friend, “I mean, I can explain it to you if it won’t make you uncomfortable,” she chuckled, “it really isn’t that hard to understand.”

“Yes please,” squeaked Peach.

“Hmm?” asked Pauline.

“Please do… tell me…” She muttered, avoiding eye contact. Pauline sighed.

“Honestly if you’re dying to know, and Daisy’s evidently dying to get in my pants, then she and I can just show you. There are a lot of different ways to do it, it’s pretty much the same as straight sex, just without a dick,” she said. There had never been a time in her life when it was NOT the norm.

“No!” exclaimed Peach, “not with her!” Pauline paused.

“Oh, alright, then I’ll just tell you?” said Pauline. Peach nodded.

“Well, there’s a number of ways that you can do it,” said Pauline, “I couldn’t possibly cover all of them, but the most common ones are either using your fingers or using your mouth.”

“W-where would you use your mouth?!” demanded Peach.

“Y...you know….” managed Pauline, slightly uncomfortable, “we already talked about this during the game.” Peach was confused, before her eyes widened.

“You do that on girls, too?!” she asked, shocked. Pauline nodded. “How?!” Demanded Peach, “there’s no… thing!”

“It really isn’t that difficult to understand,” Pauline grew exasperated, “you start up top of course, but when you do reach the bottom, you generally just go for it. Each woman is different in her preferences, some don’t like oral at all, but as a general rule of thumb you should lick up and down the labia, and at one point, if you want to combine it with fingering, move your mouth up to the clitoris and suck it while you finger her. There’s… I mean there’s a lot that you can do, but it really just comes down to pleasing your partner. A lot of it is just improvising and going with how you feel.”

“How… how does it feel..?” asked Peach. Pauline blanked.

“P-Peach… I mean…” she had no idea how to respond, “I can’t describe how it feels, that’s a little personal and I don’t bottom anyway.”

“Can you show me?” asked Peach, leaning in. Wow, she was close. Pauline felt her face heat up, and she was suddenly acutely aware of every feature of the other woman’s face.

“You said that you didn’t want Daisy and I to do that, and anyway-”

“No, I don’t!” interrupted Peach, “I mean… you know… Daisy’s going to be gone for a while, and… I’m just so curious… will you show me..?” Pauline really wanted to have her. She’d wanted her for months, and now, Peach was presenting herself. But she knew what this was. It was this kind of trap that straight girls loved to pull on lesbians, where they’d go far out of their comfort zone and then just use it for gossip material, ditching the friend that they had fucked or lured. “Peach, you’re straight,” said Pauline, “and I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“I… I want to try…” managed Peach, looking like she wanted to curl in on herself out of embarrassment.

“Peach…” Pauline couldn’t believe that she was saying this, “no. Just… no. I thought that you were better than this. You can’t just find some lesbian and toy around with her for your amusement and bragging rights. It’s really not cool for you to use me like that, I’m going home.” She stood up, dusting herself off and leaving Peach on the ground, hurt. Pauline left the room, grabbing her blazer on her way out.

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” she said, sounding somewhat closed-off, before she left, closing the door behind her.

Peach lay on the ground, thoroughly confused by her own actions, and hurt by what Pauline had said. She didn’t want to admit it, but Pauline was right. She was just amusing herself with the woman. After a few minutes, there was a knock, and Peach’s heart skipped a beat. However, it was Daisy who walked in, looking a little confused.

“Hey” she said, sitting down next to Peach on the floor, “just saw Pauline headed home. What happened?” Peach looked up to her, before sitting up as well and furrowing her brow.

“Nothing,” she said scornfully, “nothing happened.”

[madamspeaker]

Lotte and Lovage (yes, you read that correctly)

TLDR: Maggie Smith can sleep soundly (like this even remotely bothered her haha), Lettice is hers.

I’ll straight up say that when it comes to the play, Lettice and Lovage, I’m deeply biased. I’ve heard the audio of the original London production, and seen a recording of the Broadway one, and it’s damn near impossible to think of anyone but Maggie Smith in the lead role. The fact that Maggie briefly revived Lettice for the Shaffer memorial just over a month ago, only seemed to push home the idea more that the part belongs to her. And in my biased opinion the new revival at the Menier Chocolate Factory theatre confirms this. It’s not a terrible production, but I think it tells you all you need to know when I say Maureen Lipman steals it in the supporting role of Lotte - Lotte and Lovage might have been a better title this time round. Whether Nunn is at fault as director, or Kendal as actress, her Lettice is charmlessly one note, and oddly aggressive in her speech. There’s little modulation in how she delivers lines, something which acutely reveals itself in how relatively few laughs she gets on lines and words I know Maggie brought the house down with. Was it a decision to try and move away from Maggie’s interpretation? Perhaps, but making Kendal wear a dreadful bobbed red wig didn’t seem to indicate a concerted effort to eradicate the ghost of Maggie in the role. They should have ditched the red hair and let Kendal use her own, she might have seemed at least more comfortable if nothing else. I think part of the issue is that in pedal pushers and with a tattoo visible on her ankle, Kendal’s Lettice seems too modern, almost bordering on fashionable, to the point that the eccentricity that is so vital to the character in both understanding her outward confidence and later her vulnerability seems utterly lost. She's quirky to be sure, but with the oddly straightened bobbed hair, heavy eyeliner, cropped trousers, and waistcoats, there’s very little about this woman that seems to suggest she’d have issues fitting in with most of civilization - nothing that would prevent her from finding company in the way that Maggie’s Lettice seemed socially awkward and therefore so delighted to become friends with Lotte, and then so utterly devastated when it seems Lotte has abandoned her in Act Three. Maggie’s Lettice looked like she stepped out from another time altogether - oddly dressed in clothes that seemed to come from several eras, and none in the last century. I don’t want this to be an entire downer on Kendal, although I think ultimately she was miscast (she might have been better channeling a little bit of Barbara Good into the role). The woman has comedy chops - you don’t stand along side Penelope Keith and Richard Briers in The Good Life if you can’t deliver a line, but somewhere along the line in Lettice and Lovage, she lost an understanding for colouring dialogue and vocal tone. Every line is said in the same voice, the same weirdly gruff delivery. I found it hard to believe her charming the tourists that Lettice is meant to, let alone win Lotte over. I will say this though - some of her physical gestures at least seemed to be tapping into the lesbian subtext of the play (that Shaffer wimped out of making actual text). At least twice I thought her Lettice was going to kiss Lipman’s Lotte - which might have been a brave thing for Nunn to let happen. I know in the programme he said the play was his chance to honour the late playwright, so the chances of him altering the ending to include a kiss was never on the cards, but it might have at least given this revival a means of standing on its own and away from the very long shadow of the original, which alas it cannot escape. Lipman is by far the best thing in the production. She’s no Margaret Tyzack, but she at least brings a quiet charm to the role, and ironically enough, for the grey bureaucrat, more colour and life into her delivery. She infinitely more subtle too, and in turn gets the biggest laughs, which is telling given she’s essentially playing the straight to what is supposed to be the comedic role of Lettice. She also clearly charmed the wig makers, because she definitely got the superior fake hair. What lets her down, and it’s not really her fault, is that she and Kendal lack chemistry - you never get the sense that over the play’s time period, these two women grow to need each other. Also, I hope someone takes Kendal aside and shows her how to hold a cat. Unlike the original production which featured a real cat, this one uses a stuffed toy, which unfortunately Kendal holds in the worst of ways. If I held a cat the way she was holding that toy, the cat would either be dead or I would with blood lost from scratches.

[bellabooks]

“Pretty Little Liars” recap S7 Ep16: The Glove that rocks the cradle

Previously on Pretty Little Liars, Spencer got caught on Candid Camera, Paige went off to become Iowa’s Most Eligible Lesbian, and Mona fell in mad passionate love with an evil board game. We open with sweet Officer Barry interrogating Spencer at the police station, which is like a literal lamb interrogating Hannibal Lecter. This dude has no idea what he’s in for. He questions Spencer about that night at the Radley, but she admits to nothing except her steamy elevator hook-up with Marco. Marco rolls in trying to reason with her, but Spencer is in no mood for his good cop shenanigans. He tells her she has 48 hours before he has the signed receipt and a warrant for her arrest. I ate Sara Harvey with fava beans and a nice Chianti but she still tasted like shower water.   Aria is still taking calls from A.D., and dodges Ezra when he tries to book dance lessons for the two of them. Ezra also wants to talk about the press tour for the book, but Aria is too busy arguing with her digital alter ego to listen. Speaking of the book, editor Jillian is in town to prep Ezra for the tour. Her notes: talk up his reunion with Nicole and ditch Aria. Meanwhile, Emily is in full nesting mode and has built a nursery for her and Ali’s baby. She found baby clothes and furniture in the attic, which are surely stuffed with money, secrets, dead bodies, or ALL OF THE ABOVE. Why is Emily so ready to move into Ali’s house? Her first girlfriend was buried under the damn gazebo in the back yard!  I also found some international flight tickets and some riddles stuffed in a doll’s head, but they just didn’t match my color scheme.   Spencer tells the Liars about her drunken mistake at Radley, and Hanna is immediately upset. They hatch a plan to break into the Radley bar and steal the receipt before Marco can get it. Good thing Caleb built the Radley security system all by himself! Remember when Wren was a regular, and he was literally every doctor in Rosewood? Caleb is like that, only he’s Mr. Robot for every computer within a five mile radius. The only thing he can’t crack is Hanna, who is convinced she’s getting busted and going to jail for running down Rollins. She also feels guilty about the Spencer/Caleb love triangle, and thinks that Spencer got drunk because Caleb broke her heart.  How is A.D. both a super genius and the most trifling person in Rosewood all at the same time?   Just then, the board game whirs to life and tells Hanna to go pick up a hard drive from a computer repair shop. It also tells her that prison food will make her fat, because A.D. is never not on brand with the fat jokes. Aria also gets a text from A.D. with a game just for her. The next morning, Spencer and Emily build a crib together and discuss the Emison of it all. Spencer warns Emily not to put all her lesbian eggs in Ali’s basket, except A.D. did literally that exact thing. Emily remains optimistic as ever about Ali’s intentions, but Spencer is dubious.  Emily, are you sure you can support a baby on a swim coach’s salary?  Is it bad that I get paid in whistles and Speedos?   Hanna picks up the hard drive and Caleb plugs it into their laptop. The only file on the drive is a Patsy Cline song, “You Belong to Me,” which was played in the dollhouse. Caleb still thinks Lucas is behind everything, but Hanna refuses to believe ill of him, citing his fake alibi as evidence of his loyalty. Speaking of loyalty, Spencer rolls up to Marco’s apartment, hoping to charm him out of pressing charges. After all, it’s worked on literally every other cop in Rosewood. Marco is in no mood and sends her away, but not before she can steal a thumb drive with Lucas’s name on it. Never change, girl.  I’m here to seduce you into acquitting me but I’ll also settle for some petty thievery.   The Liars gather to see what was on the thumb drive, and they aren’t that shocked to see Lucas recant his entire testimony and admit he was lying to the cops. Spencer freaks out about her impending arrest, while Hanna stubbornly refuses to admit that Lucas might be a shitty guy. Luckily, Aria brought receipts and reminds Hanna that Lucas A) destroyed Ali’s memorial B) ran errands for A and C) my personal favorite: Didn’t you whack Lucas so hard in the face with an oar that he fell out of a row boat? Oh My God Aria, that was ONE time!   A.D. summons Hanna to drop off the hard drive in a locker at Rosewood High. Ali and Emily agree to spy on the locker, but first they have to argue about Ali’s breakfast and her neo-natal vitamins. Emily worries that Ali will flake out on being a mom, which is a legitimate fear when your co-parent can just steal someone’s face, pop on a wig, and fly her own damn plane anywhere she pleases. Ugh, I miss that Ali so much. She was like Wonder Woman but with severe emotional problems. Mona pops in on Hanna and finds her flustered and lying about the hard drive. Mona tells her that she’s ready to play the game, but balks when she finds out that Hanna didn’t tell the other Liars she was involved. Mona, like so many women with closeted girlfriends, tells Hanna that she’s tired of being her dirty little secret. She demands to know how many times she must save the Liars before they trust her.  I have ALWAYS been on your side, even when I mowed you down with my SUV!   Hanna drops off the hard drive and then rushes over to Radley, where Caleb has turned off the security system for ten minutes so she can snatch the receipt. She goes into the back room and finds that all the receipts are kept loose and unorganized in giant boxes. Maybe they should have sent Emily, someone who knows the inner workings of this bar. They’re running out of time, so Caleb grabs a wrench and just starts smashing pipes to drown all the receipts. Way to fly under the radar, kids. Emily and Ali are staking out the Rosewood High lockers, but they get distracted by their bickering. Ali feels like Emily is testing her, and they both admit that they are scared to be parents. Before they can make up, a hooded figure (Mona, on her own stakeout) knocks Ali down and scampers off into the night. While the Liars run around town chasing ghosts, Aria dons a black hoodie and sets about destroying Emily and Ali’s nursery. She smashes Emily’s mobile, splatters red paint (or blood?) all over the walls and smashes all the creepy lamps. Emily and Ali come home and Aria tries to sneak out…but being Aria, she walks into every object in the room and makes a ton of noise. Emily is about to introduce Aria to Crate and Barrel aka what she calls her fists.   Emily grabs a tasteful candlestick and brandishes it like a weapon, going into full on mama bear mode. Aria manages to sneak out before Emily busts her, but just barely. She goes home and weeps into the couch while Ezra gives his book lecture without her. The next day, the Liars comfort Emily and Ali about the destroyed nursery, except for Aria who acts squirrelly as hell. When Spencer finds Aria’s earring on the floor, she realizes that something isn’t right. The Liars go to the loft to find Lucas rifling through the drawers. They accuse him of being A.D. and Lucas tells them that he stayed friends with Charlotte over email, and that they were working on a second issue of their comic. He feels incredibly guilty about giving Charlotte the idea for the dollhouse and the torture, and about trashing the Liars to Charlotte, unaware that it was possibly fueling her vendetta. Later on, Hanna and Lucas have a drink, and Hanna assures him that she believes he’s their friend. Lucas comes clean about the factory sale, and reveals that he went broke trying to build her business. Lucas assures her that he can make his money back, and that he has always believed in/loved her.  Mmmkay, thanks for your unrequited love byyyyeeeee!   Ali and Emily finally have the talk, and Ali reveals that she’s done running from her feelings for Emily. She finally admits that, after all these years, she’s always been in love with her best friend. Ali kisses Emily, and the music swells. It’s a sweet moment, but it can’t help but feel rushed. If only Emily’s relationship with Ali had gotten the same treatment as Haleb or Spoby, maybe I’d feel differently. Or even if she got the same treatment as Paily. But there’s just not enough “there” there.   Taking a step back, this is (on paper) a really radical story choice. We so often see stories of queer girls with unrequited crushes on their straight best friends. The pattern is always the same: the flirtation, the affair, the exposure, and the break-up. Sometimes the queer girl moves on and meets someone else. Sometimes she befriends a falcon and flies off a roof. It’s exciting that PLL is playing with this trope by having Emily get the girl she’s always wanted…I just wish that I wanted it as much as the show does. What did you think of this week’s episode? Tweet me your feels and A.D. theories @ChelseaProcrast       http://dlvr.it/PJ9rLW

[im-a-fully-realized-creation]

hey fef, i don't wanna start a huge shitshow on your post, but as a queen fan and bi/pan person i really, really feel the need to say this.

here's the thing: freddie was extremely quiet about his private life! he did date a few women; he was engaged to one named mary austin and even wrote a song specifically about her ("love of my life"). the engagement was called off at some point though, and though the two didn't marry, they remained close friends throughout freddie's entire life.

it is common knowledge to us that he spent the last years of his life with a man named jim hutton (and the cats that were basically their kids, but that's neither here nor there).

but just because he spent his final years with a man doesn't mean he was 100% gay. you could argue that his relationship with mary was a result of him trying to prove to himself he was straight in the face of internalized homophobia, but... that seems like a disservice to their relationship. a relationship that lasted seven years, with a woman freddie wrote a song for, with one of the closest people in his life. in his will, he left her almost his entire estate. not jim hutton. he left it to her. i know sometimes gay and lesbian people go extreme lengths to try and "prove" to themselves that they're straight when they've been faced with so much homophobia, and im not saying that's something to be ashamed of because i get it, i really do. but claiming that this relationship was something like that feels like a disservice to both of them.

and here's the thing: even his fellow band members did not know his exact sexuality. he wasn't open about it! and why would he be, in a time with so much stigma and hatred? and to anon's point: i absolutely cannot find any source of freddie mercury calling himself "gay." if he has explicitly called himself gay, there would be no debate! he never said exactly what his sexuality was.

im just gonna end on this: bisexual was not a commonly used term when he was alive. in an era like today, where we have these specific, widely used labels? he might have called himself bisexual. or he might have called himself gay. or maybe he'd ditch the specific labels entirely and just call himself queer as an umbrella term. we don't know. there's no way of knowing exactly what his sexuality was. but by calling him 100% gay you are discrediting all the relationships he had with women. maybe it was just internalized homophobia. or maybe he was just fucking bisexual. we don't know, and we probably never will. what we do know for certain is that he loved men. whether or not it was just men or men and woman isn't something we should keep fighting about forever.

all in all, just let the damn people call him bisexual. in a world where we, as multisexual people, are faced with so much hatred from straight and gay people alike, it's kind of nice to think that someone as amazing as freddie might've been just like you. that he loved both women and men and even if he wasn't open about it, he felt the same way you do. isn't that a comfort we kinda fucking deserve?

hi! you reblogged that post about biphobia and while the post is great it calls freddy mercury bi, which is not true. freddy mercury was a gay man, and said so himself.

Uh okay

[submalephil]

ENSLAVED BY A LESBIAN COUPLE PART THIRTY

ENSLAVED BY A LESBIAN COUPLE PART THIRTY - By submalephil

It has been quite some time since we visited the school and so much has happened since than that it seems like the world I knew before I became a part of Barbara and Linda's household was just a dream. Women had been gaining so much more power before but that last big confrontations between the last male holdouts and the Gynarchist was a watershed event.

Looking back now it is clear that those demonstrations were a last ditch effort by the male sex to regain or at least retain some if its lost privileges. But things had already gone too far that and instead it only backfired and sparked a ferocious Feminist and Gynarchist counter reaction which has swept aside the last remaining vestiges of masculine rule. It is now an unmistakable fact that we in a Gynarchist society completely and totally ruled by Dominant Lesbians supported and aided by Dominant Heterosexual and Transsexual Women.

The status of men in this new world order is now totally subservient to Women of whatever type or age. Dominant Women, especially Dominant Lesbian Women, have taken complete control of both business and government at all levels and new laws now give Women absolute authority over men in all situations. That authority is now strictly enforced by Gyno Police made up of Extreme Militant Lesbian and Transsexual Gynarchist Women. Any man who fails to show proper respect and submissiveness to a Woman or Girl risks being subjected to a public paddling by one of these Lesbian officers or perhaps being forced to his knees to suck the cock of one of the Trans-Woman officers. The plane and simple fact of the matter is that Women will no longer tolerate any disrespect, defiance or disobedience from their male inferiors.

I used to sometimes wonder if Barbara and Linda ever did let me go if I would be able to go back to my old life as an independent man but now I know that that world no longer exist. The only possibility would be to become a slave to some other Woman or Women who might be even more demanding or who might even want to castrate me as many Lesbian Mistresses do to their male slaves. Many men are now also finding themselves becoming slaves to Transsexual Women and having to learn to suck their Mistresses big cocks and swallow their cum. For any one time macho that would have to be the ultimate form of emasculation to have to submit to being penetrated by and suck your Mistresses cock.

I have had that experience with Barbara and Linda's friend Victoria from the Athena Club and I must confess I actually learned to enjoy it but I much prefer sucking and tonguing Barbara's Linda's Vaginas. But I guess I am getting ahead of myself. Let me start by recapping what happened after the evening of the so-called "Duck Hunt" or as it has since become more popularly  known as "V. V. Day" or "The Day of the Victory of the Vaginas!"  

That night when everybody finally went to get some sleep the remaining male captives were left in a special holding room in the basement of the school called "The Dungeon" where they would be secure until the Women were ready to dispose of them in one way or another. There were some exceptions though such as the male captured by Aida and Tamika. That poor guy was left in the toilet where the Girls and I could hear him whimpering all night. Barbara and Linda retired to their guest apartment with a couple of the new captives to amuse themselves with during the night. I was left with Aida and Tamika and there roommates  who amused and stimulated by their poor captive's whimpering used me to satisfy their sexual urges. I felt a little guilty that the poor boy's suffering provided me with the opportunity to worship Aida and Tamika between their lovely legs again but that was a thrilling opportunity to be able to serve them without having to be the object of their sadistic urges at the same time.

The next morning when Barbara and Linda rejoined us for breakfast Linda had the Girls remove the boy from the toilet. The boy's name was james and he was 18 or 19 and he was so grateful to Linda that he crawled to Her and kissed Her feet. She was quite amused by his behavior and by the time the weekend was over the Girls had given him to Linda to be Her personal slave. I must confess to having mixed feelings about him being added to our household. I certainly could use the help in serving our Mistresses but at the same time I actually felt a little jealous at having to share them with another male. I was also a little concerned that the Women might be considering replacing me with a younger servant but that proved to be unfounded. They really needed two slaves to properly serve them.

It was interesting watching the difference between Linda's training methods and Barbara's. Barbara was pretty much a straight forward disciplinarian while Linda liked to use sexual teasing combined with inflicting pain in order to stimulate Her slave's masochistic impulses.  Sometimes She would cuddle him while at the same time squeezing his balls producing both intense pain and pleasure at the same time. She finds that this method produces a truly slavish devotion in Her male captives. The male comes to actually want to be tormented by Her. An important step in firmly  establishing Female supremacy was the taking complete control of the reproductive process by Females. With Lesbian relationships becoming the norm marriage as an institution was primarily now a union between two Women who were legally joined as equal partners. This partnership could consist of two genetic Women, a genetic and Transsexual Woman or even two Transsexual Women. Whenever a male was included in a marriage contract he was always in a legally subordinate position as essentially the property of the Woman or Women.  The ceremony now requires the male to promise to obey and submit to the Woman's absolute authority over him. Indeed soon the legal right of Females to physically discipline manes was also established in law.

This might seem an unlikely situation but with Women taking complete control or the reproductive process the physical disparity between Women and men was being completely reversed. Women while retaining their Feminity are becoming bigger and stronger while men are becoming smaller and weaker. It was becoming normal to see an athletic, sexy six foot  plus tall Women with a five foot five inch slender and very submissive male meekly accompanying Her. If any male was foolish enough to disobey his Mistress at the very least he could expect to be slapped silly or forced over Her lap to have his panties pulled down  to receive a sound spanking. More serious transgressions could result in the use of the belt, strap, cane or in the most extreme cases the punishment toilet. The anniversary of the date of that the last male attempt to thwart the establishment of Gynarchy was crushed became a traditional day of celebration and partying. These celebrations often turned into virtual orgies with Women indulging in all sorts of sexual games with each other and often using  and sharing males a sexual toys and playthings. Both myself and james had the occasion to precipitate in these celebrations some of which are often held at the Athena Club.

It was always quite a lively occasion. At one party Tamika, Aida her mother and sister were usually there along with Barbara's Transsexual friend  Victoria also had a couple of Her Girlfriends with Her as well. One was a very buxom blond the other a sultry brunette and both had noticeable bulges in their panties. Both james and I had the pleasure of serving these two sexy Ladies as well as being used by several other Women and Girls for oral worship ass kissing and other Femdom games.

With the establishment of Gynarchy it seems that the younger generation of Females are becoming even more aggressive and dominant while males are becoming more submissive to and worshipful of powerful Females. Clearly there will be no turning back the clock to a male dominated world ever again. The increasing aggressiveness, strength and dominance of the new generation of young Women and Girls makes that a certainty.

In schoolrooms and school yards, play grounds and in parties like the ones held at the Athena Club it was always the young Women and teenage Girls who were the most enthusiastic participants in the acts of disciplining, humiliating,  emasculating and enslaving men and boys. The whimpering, pleading, and groveling of the males are accompanied by the smiling, giggling and laughter of the triumphant Girls and young Women.  From now on and into the future we will all live in a world completely ruled by Dominant Lesbians.

The evening after one such party we returned home with Barbara and Linda feeling especially pleased with all that had been accomplished by this new generation of Dominant and Powerful Females. After retiring to their bed they snuggled together with james and myself each nestled between the sleek powerful thighs of our Mistress to add to their pleasure by worshiping and serving their sacred Vaginas with our lips and tongues. This of course is the only proper way for a male to sexually serve a Female. I am not merely resigned to serving Her in this way but I am grateful for the privilege of being allowed to serve Her in such an intimate manner. It is a thrill for me to be allowed to lay between Barbara's magnificent, shapely and powerful legs and kiss and caress them as well. Indeed it was my fascination for Her legs that first led me down the road to becoming Her slave. Now I could not imagine any other life than one of serving this Awesome, Beautiful, Dominant and Powerful Lesbian Woman and Her Lesbian lover Linda.

It is quite amazing how quickly and firmly Women have taken over and how much better a world it has become. War and crime have disappeared to be replaced by a more orderly and prosperous world. For us males this means no more fighting or other forms of irresponsible behavior. Instead we will devote ourselves to the much more satisfying goal of pleasing and serving and worshiping our Female superiors as they deserve. From now on my future and the future for all of us males both men and boys will be for us to become the devoted, obedient, submissive, totally emasculated, thoroughly Feminized and permanent servants and abject slaves of Divinely Feminine, Gloriously Beautiful, Fiercely Dominant and All-Powerful Lesbians.

FOR LESBIAN EMPOWERMENT male submission, subjugation and enslavement and ABSOLUTE, COMPLET AND TOTAL LESBIAN RULE FOREVER! THE END

[the-connection]

A new documentary reworks the memoir of Bowers, who boasts he paired Cary Grant with Rock Hudson and Katharine Hepburn with 150 brunettes and slept with so many actors he didnt have time to see their films

Scotty Bowers was a 23-year-old petrol station attendant on Hollywood Boulevard when the actor Walter Pidgeon pulled up to the pump and asked the dimpled blond to jump in his Lincoln. It would be the ride of his life. Pidgeon was gay, claims Bowers in his autobiography Full Service: My Adventures in Hollywood and the Secret Sex Lives of the Stars, and that afternoon they became lovers. Bowers himself transcended labels. Years later, he startled sexologist Dr Alfred Kinsey by checking off every sex act on his list (and took him to orgies to prove it). Guys, girls, spouses, kings, consorts and a three-way with Ava Gardner and Lana Turner. Bowers had done it all.

[Kinsey] came looking for me, says Bowers, now 95, on a hot afternoon in a Hollywood courtyard apartment. Things he thought impossible, I came up with. With his devilish blue eyes and thick white hair, it is easy to picture why he was popular. He burns with energy, as though he spent his retirement stoking gossip he vowed he wouldnt spill while his lovers were alive. J Edgar Hoover? A drag. Vivien Leigh? A hot, hot lady. Wallis Simpson? A real ballsy chick.

Bowers (second from left, back row) with friends. Photograph: Courtesy of Greenwich Entertainment

Bowers used to turn tricks in this same building. Today, the vintage-style pad belongs to the director Matt Tyrnauer, a former Vanity Fair journalist who recently reworked Bowers memoir into the eyebrow-raising documentary Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood. Tyrnauer, sitting next to Bowers and gently nudging his digressions on track, confirms that he called the Kinsey Institute to check Bowers tale. They knew exactly who he was.

Everyone knew Bowers. George Cukor, Gore Vidal, Merv Griffin; Tyrone Power referred to him in letters, interviews and biographies, calling him Scotty, Sonny, or just the gas station on Hollywood Boulevard. Tennessee Williams hand-wrote a 40-page story about him, which Bowers found embarrassingly over the top.

I said: Tennessee, forget that bullshit, says Bowers. I should have kept it. Instead, for decades, people pushed him to write down his own memories. I kept putting it off and putting it off, and all of a sudden, almost everyone they wanted me to write about was dead.

Lana Turner and Ava Gardner, with whom Bowers claims to have had a threesome. Photograph: Keystone/Getty Images

In 1946, the year he met Pidgeon, Bowers was competing with millions of other returning second world war veterans for work. Canoodling with a celebrity for $20 made more sense than digging a ditch for $10. After Pidgeon spread the word about his new friend, more luxury cars began to cruise by. Soon, Bowers side-hustle had expanded to a parked trailer with two king beds, glory holes in the bathroom and a battalion of good-looking men and women to fix up with some of the biggest names in Hollywood. Bowers boasts that he paired Cary Grant with Rock Hudson back when the Pillow Talk star was still named Roy, and introduced Katharine Hepburn to 150 lovely brunettes. As for Hepburns rumored paramour Spencer Tracy, Bowers says he slept with him, too.

Hepburn and Tracys complex relationship is a fascinating example of Hollywoods hypocritical and literal moral code. Publicists decided it was better to pretend the friends were having an affair than explain the real reason why Tracy wasnt living with his wife Louise, to whom he stayed married until his death. A heterosexual affair was forgivable even romantic and it wouldnt get either actor fired. After Fatty Arbuckle was put on trial for the rape and murder of Virginia Rappe, the studios began to add a clause in their contracts forbidding actors from committing any offence that risked public hatred, contempt or ridicule. While the courts found Arbuckle innocent twice the Hollywood moguls believed just a whiff of indecency could destroy the entire industry. The swinging days of the early silent era ended overnight. Performers became studio property: they were told how to dress, how to behave, and who to date, or at least pretend to.

Bowers in uniform in the 1940s. Photograph: Greenwich Entertainment

It was a lucrative lie. Roy Harold Scherer got his teeth capped and became Rock Hudson. When the tabloids began to nag Hudson to get married, the executives betrothed him to his lesbian secretary Phyllis. Archibald Leach was rechristened Cary Grant and wed to the great beauty Barbara Hutton, although the love of his life was screen cowboy Randolph Scott, with whom he lived for 12 years as a roommate. Bowers says in his book: The three of us got into a lot of sexual mischief together.

Living double lives took a toll. Eventually, Hudson began drinking a bottle of scotch a day and recklessly sleeping with strangers. Grant tried psychedelic therapy and spoke in quips that hinted at his unfulfillment. I played at being someone I wanted to be until I became that person, or he became me, he told his biographer. Even his most famous quote Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant sounds like a whispered confession, or maybe a misdirection. What if he just wanted to be as free as Archibald Leach?

Bowers bedded so many movie stars that he didnt have time to see their movies. A movie takes a couple hours. I was busy every minute. When his daughter, Donna, died, he went back to work that day. He shared a home with her mother, his longtime partner Betty, but slept there only a few times a year. In the documentary, he teeters towards admitting regret for spending most nights in someone elses bed. But he candidly admits his only true passion was money. He grew up hungry during the Depression era, and, as a young teenager, he turned tricks for two dozen Chicago priests who paid him in quarters. That would be abuse in everyones eyes but his. In the documentary, Tyrnauer repeatedly presses Bowers about his childhood, and does so again today.

Youre very intent on the fact that you dont perceive yourself as a victim, says Tyrnauer.

I did what I wanted to do, maintains Bowers.

That is not the conventional perspective at all, but it is his perspective and I dont judge him for that, says Tyrnauer. I think people get to define who they are and tell their story and express their beliefs.

Executives married off Rock Hudson to his lesbian secretary, Phyllis Gates. Photograph: Kobal/Rex/Shutterstock

I do think that different people are different, thats very true, replies Bowers. Im speaking for myself only.

As an adult at the petrol station, Bowers never took a cut of other peoples cash. To him, that meant he wasnt a pimp; he was a purveyor of joy. The most important thing was company, says Bowers. The LGBTQ community didnt have many safe places to connect at that time. Homosexuality was illegal in California until the 1970s. When the Los Angeles Police Department vice squad the sexual Gestapo, says Tyrnauer barged into a gay bar, patrons risked being arrested, shaken down for cash, shipped to a mental institution, and possibly lobotomised. The LAPD targeted the Hollywood glitterati because they had careers to protect and money to spare.

When the petrol station became too famous, Bowers became a for-rent party bartender, which gave celebrities an even better excuse to invite him into their homes. Even that was risky. One cop memorised Bowers car registration plate and would pull him over, scare him a bit, and then undo Bowers pants while complaining about his miserable marriage. I hope he found happiness, writes Bowers, charitably.

The vice squad is responsible for Bowers impressive memory. Midway through one aside, he recites the address of a silent movie star who has been dead for 45 years. Terrified of a raid, he rarely wrote down his friends information. It was all in my head, says Bowers. I never kept anything. If I wrote down a number, I had it in my hand until I tore it up. Even then, he would swap the first and last digits to ensure the persons identity couldnt be cracked, a trick inspired by the Navajo code talkers.

Now, Bowers has no secrets. Critics have slammed the book and the documentary for outing celebrities without consent. In the film, Tyrnauer includes a film fan arguing that legendary stars deserve more respect. Bowers counters: Whats wrong with being gay? Others have thanked him for sticking up for the real person underneath the studio gloss for revealing their truth the way they might have if they were alive today. It is impossible to know how Hudson and Grant would have chosen to live in a country that legalised gay marriage. Perhaps their lives would have been happier. Although, Bowers notes, even in 2018: Everythings not going to be out in the open. More actors are out, but now must prove they can play both gay and straight characters. Neil Patrick Harris has succeeded; Matt Bomer is trying. Some have decided that it is still easier to hide.

Asked if he is biting his tongue about anyone alive, Bowers blurts out the name of a beloved actor and her 169% gay husband. He is dead; she isnt. So, Bowers will wait. Let me tell you something: when youre dead youre dead, he insists. Later, when the conversation turns to Kevin Spacey Bowers claims to know one of his exes Tyrnauer steadily repeats that Bowers information about the alleged perpetrator is merely secondhand. The director is clearly, and correctly, aware of the complexities of talking sensitively about sex in the era of #MeToo. But after eight decades of secrecy Bowers sighs: Poor Kevin Spacey, he was right in the middle of a picture and they dumped him and everything. Thanks to #MeToo, morality clauses are making a comeback. This time, one hopes they will only be wielded for good.

Cary Grant (right) with his room mate Randolph Scott. Photograph: Snap/Rex Features

Hollywood journalist Liz Smith once quipped: All this crap about coming out! Honey, I dont think I have ever really been in! Before she died last November, she affirmed that Hepburn was a lesbian.

I was pleased that she went on the record about Hepburn because I dont think shed ever done it before, says Tyrnauer. It really provides a great assist to Scottys narrative about Hepburn and Tracy, because people are in willful suspension of belief about this supposed golden couple.

Even more startling are Bowers lusty tales about Wallis Simpson and Edward VIII. Wally and Eddie, corrects Bowers, waving away their formal names. It was very easy to see how she talked him out of being king of England because she had complete control over him, says Bowers. She told him if you want to fool around and do this and that, you cant do it if youre king.

Scotty Bowers at home in LA. Photograph: Courtesy of Greenwich Entertainment

A lot of people dont believe that particular story, says Tyrnauer. But he places them at the Beverly Hills Hotel in the 50s. We found a picture of them in the Beverly Hills Hotel in that period its in the movie. Four former clients knew Edward, and the couples close friend, photographer Cecil Beaton, titled an entire chapter of his diary: Scotty.

There were many, many factors that connected them, says Tyrnauer. I cross-referenced everything I could. When Bowers described a mansions winding pathway to the pool house, or a gate in a backyard, Tyrnauer would pull up an aerial view of Google Maps and there it was, as though the nonagenarian had visited yesterday.

In Los Angeles, notes the director: You can wipe the dust off something that has been obscured and find the truth. Scottys a living example of that. Here he was in Laurel Canyon for decades minding his business. And yet hes Scotty Bowers, the infamous male madame to the stars, and either you knew it or you didnt.

He has tried to ensure Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood tells the truth instead of peddling innuendo like tabloids, TMZ, or even acclaimed smut such as Kenneth Angers Hollywood Babylon.

Am I in that, too? asks Bowers.

Tyrnauer chuckles: Maybe between the lines.

There always will be secret life happening, beams Bowers. People should do what pleases them and the other person some people just please more than a few.

Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood is out now in the US and awaiting a UK release date

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us