#and the thing is i have been coming around on a lot of ttpd!!! i have been building relationships to it!!! but it's. it's just not magic.

[chasingfictions]

wait this looks fun

[endearng]

About you

Pairing: Spencer Reid x ex!reader Summary: You know a place that you go to remember Spencer Reid's face. You never thought you'd get to actually see him again. WC: 4.6k Warnings: brief mentions of Spencer's trauma (childhood, addiction); hints at poor coping mechanisms/mental struggles; miscommunication; running away. A/N: This is a mix between canon events and some things are fiction (mostly when it comes to the timeline of the show) and I picture later seasons Spencer. This is based on many songs from ttpd, but this fic came to mind when I was listening to 'About You' by the 1975. I really hope you guys like it. Feedbacks are always welcome and appreciated <3 masterlist

You sat on one of the park benches. Actually, it was on the park bench, near a tree, you used to occupy with Spencer after getting your favorite treats from the coffee shop nearby.

It was your first date as boyfriend and girlfriend and he had started reading to you once the chatter had died down a little bit. He looked beautiful that day, eyes leaving the book pages every now and then so he could catch a glimpse of you. Every time he did, you smiled at him. You were so enamored by his eyes that you didn't care if you were perceived as desperate or too lovestruck when he looked at you. You felt warm inside and for a moment, you thought it could last forever.

From that day on, whenever you could, you'd always go to that park and sit on that specific bench. You even carved your initials in it.

Now, as you caressed the old indentation, dark from all the time that had passed, you were all alone. A hole in your chest.

You were living in Virginia, about to get your Master's Degree. It was the time of the semester when everything seems to be piling up and you can never get the time to take care of it as you should. As you walked home at night, you witnessed a young couple walking into a dark forest, but you didn't mind — horny kids were everywhere and you were glad they had a nice way to let off some steam, not being one to judge someone’s kinks.

The next thing you knew, the FBI wanted to see you. They sent a cute, awfully young agent to your apartment, who introduced himself as 'Doctor Spencer Reid' and waved at you once you answered the door, telling you you had been the last person to witness that young woman alive. You froze, unable to look away from him, sheer shock crossing your intriguing, mesmerizing features. Spencer Reid took more than a minute to try to calm you down to have you answer his questions. Despite your head going miles per minute, you tried to help out as much as you could and were able to describe the man as you managed to recall some of his features.

Then, you had gotten Spencer's number to keep him posted if anything happened, since that unsub was kidnapping and torturing girls from your university. When they wrapped up the case to go home, Spencer went to your building to tell you they were returning to Quantico. You had grown fond of him, his presence a warm embrace compared to the chaos around you, so when he broke the news, you did feel a little disappointed, even though you knew that he would eventually leave. He was sensitive to the matters around him, doing everything in his power and using his intelligence to help everyone around him. It made you grow a sense of hope in other people you haven’t felt in a while.

You took your study break a little earlier that night once you saw him at your doorstep, deciding you'd give him your time. A low "So, you're leaving..." escaping your mouth once he told you why he went to your place. To say goodbye. You couldn't conceal the sadness in your voice.

"Yeah. I just wanted to say goodbye. And to thank you, of course, you helped us a lot." He said, eyes never leaving yours.

"Anytime, Doctor," you joked. "I'm gonna miss you. Even if we've just met. Even if you had to be aware of something so terrible." You confessed. His eyes widened at you in surprise.

His eyes. Big, doe eyes glancing at you like you held the answers to the whole universe.

In that moment, you did. Not his education, not PhD's, plural, not anything he learned from all the books he read and certainly not his time in the bureau. You held the answers.

He chuckled, a little shy. Unable to tell you, verbally, that he would miss you, too. His eyes did the job, though. "Yeah, yeah. It was nice knowing you."

"Yeah, it was," you agreed, coming a little closer to him. You gave him a kiss on his cheek. Soft, warm skin against your lips making butterflies swarm in your belly. He smiled, widely, sincerely.

You wished he was yours.

You also wished he knew that you meant that, 'besides the bad guy and all the terrible things, it was fun meeting you because you are full of light. A masterpiece.'

"Take care, okay, doctor?" You whispered, slowly pulling away from him. “I’ll see you around.”

"Be safe,” he wished, “I hope so, in better conditions."

A few days passed and you got your first call from Spencer, which turned into a second, a third and when you noticed, you were scheduling hang outs. Those turned into dates when you started to go out more frequently to every new place you wanted the other to know. All of that and touching each other more often, more carefully, more passionately than regular friends did.

You simply sat there, your memories the only thing keeping you company, haunting you, besides the tears that pricked in the corner of your eyes. You missed him so much. You missed the time you had with him.

Two years into your relationship, things got more and more complicated. You struggled to keep up with his life and more often than not you seemed to keep much to yourselves instead of sharing things with each other. You never thought you'd share (funny wording) such a distant relationship with someone, let alone one you knew for sure there was so much love and respect. During your time together, you learned about Spencer’s past and some pieces fell into place; he was somehow explained by everything he had faced as a child, teenager and now as an adult — his mother’s condition, his dad walking away, the bullying, being abducted and its consequences. You held him through it all, when the memories and feelings of powerlessness washed over him.

Then, Spencer started to be away more often and the physical distance, enforced by the emotional one that slowly grew between you two, made you feel like you were an intruder in his life. So, you gradually started to hold yourself back from starting conversations. You rarely had his attention and you figured it was because his mind was always elsewhere.

Yours was, too. Back in a time when things were simpler.

As time went by, being around him, too quiet and far out of each other’s reach, simply floating in his orbit, felt like a heavy burden you had to carry in order to keep him in your life. He never opened up and since you didn’t either, you felt like you didn't have the right to suggest you two should fix things, so you let him be. Coexisting together in the same space, oceans apart from each other’s lives and struggles, never touching the subject. The result, of course, was that you grew apart.

It all ended, officially, when you decided to move away to get your Doctorate as an excuse to run away from the hard conversations that you knew would take place if you confronted him about where had things, where had you gone so terribly wrong. You were hell-bent on trying to turn your heartbreak and deception into something, into an achievement. Then, you both decided, albeit reluctantly, that breaking up was the best choice for you, since you’d move away. The part that there was already a huge gap between the two of you remained unspoken. You tried convincing yourself that it would be easier, since you’d never have to see him and you'd be okay being in past chapters of Spencer’s life. 

Funnily enough, it wasn't that simple.

You see, the heart is a tricky machine. The wording here is not random: it works, of course, to primarily pump the blood through your veins to make sure you are getting enough oxygen around your body and deliver waste objects, like carbon dioxide, back to the lungs, to be removed — Spencer had told you so once when you told him your heart beat for him in a corny deliver of a joke. Despite the fact that he was right, you can never anticipate how the heart will react once it has no access to the aim of its affections, after being cut off from their life. Worse: after being slowly dragged away from the one it was sure it would be able to adore for the rest of its pumping-function life. You figured that, maybe it would continue working for as long as it needs to, but not with the same devotion it once knew and now was deprived of.

That was how you passed the last few years of your life.

After Spencer, you weren't really interested in anyone. You tried to put yourself out there, made new friends, tried dating some people, traveled abroad, discovered more about yourself. Nevertheless, in the back of your hopeless mind and dejected heart, you held the memories you had created with him close to your very soul. When things got too quiet, it was him that you thought of. On a train, on the way home or to somewhere new and/or special, in the lazy mornings you spent by yourself, in the nights that got too lonely to bear by yourself, during your lunch breaks that you always seemed to remember how much he loved sharing those with you — stealing food from his plate, even if you didn't like whatever he was having, just so he could steal your dessert to make sharing equal. He got a sweet tooth after dating you.

Now, though, something felt off. You had spent years of your life pining and longing and hoping that you'd find your way back to each other in the end that now you didn't have the guts to search for him. You kept an eye on his life and could remember a thing or two of all his achievements and papers that were published in science magazines, a brief abstract ready to roll off your tongue if someone asked you about it. You tried keeping up with his professional life in order to feel closer to him, but the thing was, you didn't know if he had someone else, if he had moved on more easily than you (not that you had), if he had learned to cope a little better with the hardships of his job. You always said he needed some rest for his noisy mind.

Even the air in your hometown made you think of him. Felt like him: distant, missed and still plaguing your thoughts. It was the aftermath of running away for some time.

In hindsight, perhaps you had only shared fleeting moments with Spencer and it was a frail affair, doomed from day one, knowing how different your lifestyles were. When you got too fed up with your longing and inner romanticism over this relationship, you would try to convince yourself that you were better off without him. That being alone was better than to be by yourself in a relationship that you only kept for the sake of calling him yours.

Still, there was something missing. You didn't know what it was, but you were tired of wasting your time, waiting for a bus that never showed.

From afar, Spencer watched, dumbfounded, a figure that resembled someone he once loved so much, sitting on the bench he used to share with you. He still does love. Or maybe he doesn't. He doesn't know, really. He's been through so much, losing loved ones, losing his mother and enduring several trauma after leaving the FBI, never having the time to properly take in the happenings in his life. Could it possibly be you? He could never forget your form, no matter how many years passed and how hard he had tried to do that. His heart started slowing, oxygen lacking in his lungs. He felt dizzy. Was it a mirage?

Or maybe it did, and perhaps you had missed it.

Memories started to flood his mind and he was unable to move.

Daylight faded, announcing the beginning of the evening. Spencer listened as you read to him one of your favorite novels, The Hour of the Star, a Brazilian novel by Clarice Lispector. It definitely wasn't romantic, but you always made sure to use the correct tone whenever you were reading the characters' lines, and you paused every now and then to make comments and listened when he had one of his own. Those were precious, rare, quiet moments in his hectic life. He cherished them because of that, of course, but most importantly because you were with him.

Once you finished the chapter you were reciting, you noticed how dark it already was and that the lights of the city were already on, casting a soft glow over Spencer. He looked exceptionally, effortlessly beautiful that night. You smiled at him. "Shall we go home, Spence?"

"Yes," he accepted, helping you up. You thanked him with a kiss to his cheek, which made him flustered.

Years together and he could never get used to the effect your touch had on him, always wishing he could have more, more, more.

As you walked home together, he took your ring, a gift from him that was usually placed in your left hand, and put it on the one people put wedding rings on. Your reply was to kiss him senseless in public.

He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him when you abruptly broke the kiss, looking back with a mischievous, happy expression on your face. He trailed after you, one single thought in mind: I'll never let you go.

The woman — he didn't want to deceive himself if she wasn't you, he was staring at her back, after all, so he thought it was better to be careful with his hopes —, had longer hair, fit better into her clothes, but her movements were scarily just like yours. From the way she looked around to the slight tilt of her head when you'd contemplate the park all those years ago. Spencer felt his thoughts clouding with the need to approach her, curiosity driving him to work on this instinct, but as soon as he moved to walk, he instantly halted his movements. What would he say?

"Hello?", "Is that you?" "Are you back?" "Are you real?" "Have you forgotten about me?"

The questions swimmed around his head like he had no control over his own mind. If there was a monitor to show every single thought running through his brain, it would definitely collapse, smoke clouding the air, telling how overwhelmed he felt. He decided on approaching as a passerby, walking as if he didn't want anything by it, acting nonchalant. He made his way closer to the bench, to the woman. 

She heard footsteps behind her, not too close, but still turned to search for the source of the disturbance, out of her daydreaming. You looked at each other for a moment that felt like an eternity — time stopped, the children stopped playing and the passersby stopped breathing.

As you turned around, your eyes found Spencer. The love of your life. You took in his appearance. His hair was long, unlike how it had been when you last saw him, and he didn't care about styling it as much as he did when he was younger, his curls unruly and a little messy, a little stubble growing on his face. His expression looked harder now, more tired, ripe. You couldn't quite know how to describe him properly. For a moment, you considered that he had hardened over the years, opposite from the caring, soft man you've met and loved ardently once.

On a surface level, looking at him made you feel like you've been loving a ghost. A memory, something that could never return.

Your mind suddenly felt empty. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"You?" You heard the question, uncertain, leave his lips in a low voice. Was it in your head or did you sense hurt?

Again, you wanted to speak, to say something, greet him, tell him you've missed him, ask him if he was okay. Nothing came out. Everything seemed inappropriate. Again, he beat you to it, coming closer to you, voice firmer. "What are you... I thought you'd left."

"I did."

"I know."

Silence. He got closer, moving to sit beside you.

"Yeah." Silence. Still looking at each other. "I came back a couple of months ago. Started visiting exactly three weeks ago, today." You revealed to break the silence, even though the idea that everything that came out of your mouth was improper still plagued your mind.

Spencer felt baffled. You looked different, more mature, even your style had drastically changed — you once wore colorful, baggier outfits, full of life and bright shades matching your personality (you even went shopping with Penelope and you exchanged fashion tips), but now, you wore more sober, neutral tones. Instead of the usual sneakers, or the Converse you both loved to wear together to match your outfits — his black and yours blue —, you wore black boots with heels. You looked grown. And it fit you. Still, your face was the same: your eyes held the same glimmer in them from all those years ago, your lips still as inviting as it ever was for him.

He licked his own, realizing his mouth was dry. "I come here every now and then when things get too heated." He confided, eyes never leaving your figure.

You smiled. A hole in his chest, desolation invading his being. The simple act still makes his machine of a heart ache and speed to reach its full capacity. Of breaking for you. "It's peaceful."

You knew that he seeked solace from whatever was happening in your memories together in that place. At least, you hoped so. You hoped, selfishly, that he thought of you as much as you thought of him, of his ghost. That he ached for you as much as you ached for him.

"Yeah."

Awkward silence engulfed the two of you. You didn't know where to look, but you could never stop scanning his face, taking in his features with care. "I like your hair. It fits you," you said.

He got closer, less than an arm's length between the two of you. Almost itching for you to touch his hair, eyes pleading for some mercy on your end. You've been awfully quiet and if meeting him maim you, you certainly have improved your poker face skills. "You've changed," he retorted. "I never thought I'd see you so different from, you know..."

You didn’t remember Spencer at a loss of words.

Too close. "I hope for the better."

"Why didn't you call?" He asked, brows furrowing.

Come to think of it, it was an excuse you had rehearsed quite a few times when you imagined this scenario, “I was settling, still trying to contact everyone, still finding my way around…”

“And you didn’t think of me?” His tone was wounded. He certainly dreamed you’d come back and was positively sure that you’d reach out to him. Of course, he was wrong.

He didn’t know what to say. Of course he would pick up, but there was no way you could know about it nor trust him if he said so; why would you? You had left him because he built walls around him, cutting you off from his life, torturing you, slowly dragging the end of your relationship and he couldn’t explain why. Once you left, Spencer delved into his work life like never before. He flirted with women and even slept around, which he was aware was a poor coping mechanism, all to outrun the desertion of you, desperately wishing he could forget that he could feel alive in your presence. He even tried having a relationship. It was nice having someone around, now that he was grown and had made peace with some of his demons, but it was never like you and it was all that she was to him: someone around. He never felt that spark with her like he had felt with you, never again having a taste of the sensation that ran through him whenever he stumbled excitedly into your apartment when you invited him over, seizing the rare opportunities to be with you, happiness bubbling inside him. With his new girlfriend, it was quiet. He mistook it for the calmness he lacked within himself when he was with you, but it was just bland. Needless to say, he felt awful about straight up using a person to keep his mind off of you, but it was nice while it worked. He started longing for something he couldn’t even describe what it was.

“Of course I did. I just thought you wouldn't pick up,” you replied.

One day, you guys met halfway, between the two cities you were both in. It was raining and you launched yourself into his arms once you recognized him. You had kissed him like a soldier's wife, for you sure definitely missed him like one — he had been away on a case which took longer than usual. “Hi,” you greeted, shyly, after giving him the hottest kiss of his life.

“Hi,” he smiled, a little flushed.

“I couldn't wait to get to you, Spence,” you confessed, arms pulling him back to hug you once again, his own engulfing your figure. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too. I miss you all the time.” He said, burying his face into the crook of your neck, wet hair prickling on his skin. He peeled himself away from you, taking a deep breath. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

The squealed “Yes!” before you kissed him ardently once more was forever ingrained into his mind.

Amidst his reverie, you stood up from your seat. The wind tousled your hair slightly, so you used your left hand to tuck it behind your ear. The street lights reflected their light on a ring you had on your left hand. He recognized it instantly. “I should go,” you murmured, slightly graceless.

“You still have it.”

You looked at him, still sitting and nodded softly. You were hit with the realization that he also remembered you. It didn’t matter that it was such a small thing about you, relief flooded your veins at the very thought that he thought of you. “I do.”

You waved at him, your lips turned upwards shyly. You turned your back and started walking away from him. Again, he thought. And again, he let you, without putting up a fight, which he was aware that he should have done. The elephant in his chest was a light weight compared to the heavy truth dancing around in his throat. Said truth would become much bigger, a heavier burden for him to carry, once it made its way out of him. Speaking made it real. He knew it because every memory that he kept of you, in a sacred, untouched area of his own consciousness, was full of comfort after sharing uncomfortable truths.

It was like his heart screamed at him to keep searching, to keep trying for the person who made it beat faster. But his brain, foggy with all the logic and terrible, horrid things he had to face, decided it was best to keep himself away from you, to save himself the trouble of being the target of pity, or worse, being another person who left him.

From that day on, you’d casually visit the park, secretly wishing you could see him more. It didn't take too long until your wishes were granted, no matter how private you thought they were. Perhaps they were all over your face and he could still read you so easily. Despite the apparent capacity of reading your wants, you were positively sure that Spencer didn't know what to say, just like you. Everything, including him, felt as distant as you had left it. You weren't sure if you could go back, but running away was just as troublesome: you had to adapt in order to survive, but everyone else surrounding you was already fit to the environment. You stuck out like a sore thumb, unable to connect with anyone but the protagonist from past memories of what once was a happy relationship.

Every time you were there, you sensed someone looking at you shortly after your arrival. It was like an unspoken agreement between the two of you, to try to talk things through without rushing into anything, trying to conquer the other's forgiveness by sharing both ordinary and big moments you had during your time apart. As you sat down and talked and shared, you realized that you'd never stop loving him, not even for a second, not even if you could. You had tried and failed, and kept coming back for more to fall in love with the same person over and over.

These encounters quickly turned into the best moments of Spencer's weeks, getting to be filled in on the things he had missed in your life. You had shown him photos, your new degree, new friends, discussed details about your job and how things were in your family. All of that wrapped in intricate, subtle details on how much you'd turned into a person he was already feeling proud of. You had grown into a strong-willed woman who managed to keep your heart as pure as the day you had met him. You still had the traits that made you fall in love with him.

One day, you two were sitting on the bench and you pointed to your initials on it. “Heh, I remember that day. You kept worrying someone was going to show up and stop me from doing it.”

He smiled. “I'm glad no one did.”

“It's funny, isn't it?” You asked, eyes on the indentation, not expecting him to answer due the lack of context. He frowned. “I mean, us. Acting like we don't know each other just for the sake of spending time together.”

He thought for a moment. With your shameless comment, you were definitely daring him to say something. Daring him to make things real, but better this time. “I like that idea,” he said, getting you to look at him. “Don't you? We get to meet each other again. I get to meet you again and I get to make sure that, this time, I'll never let you go.”

“You still don't know me enough to say that with such sureness,” you said, feeling bashful all of a sudden. It was also one of your behaviors that got him so enthralled, once again. Your capacity of saying something and then act coyly, as if you didn't know what he was talking about. Almost backtracking on whatever you had said that was a little more risky than the usual chatter.

He wouldn't let you.

“I want to.”

His tone made you speechless. Your expression turned into one of sheer, pure enchantment. It told him everything he needed to know.

Everything bad was now under the bridge and you could finally have each other back after being so patient.

He now remembered what it was that he missed so dearly in his life.

You.

[goldfades]

𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐀 𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐀 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐆 ─ LH⁴³

TRACK 8 ─── FLORIDA!!!

TTPD CELLY MASTERLIST !

౨ৎ ─ summary | after a fight with your longtime boyfriend, you escape to florida and find unexpected solace in luke, igniting a passionate connection amidst sun-soaked adventures. as your relationship deepens, the shadow of your past complicates everything, leading to a confrontation that forces you both to confront your true feelings

─ word count | 6k

─ warnings | NSFW (with a lot of plot) under the cut! read at your own discretion, p in v, praise, nothing too crazy. a lot of fluff, infidelity, pretty fluffy but angsty toward the end. no happy ending... sorry not sorry

You hadn't meant to come to Florida. Not really. It was one of those spontaneous, half-baked decisions that seemed brilliant in the middle of the night but questionable in the cold light of day.

Still, here you were, standing in the middle of the sand, the wind tugging at your hair as the sound of the waves crashed against the shore. After that fight—your mind flits back to your boyfriend's voice, the sharpness of his words still lingering—you needed an escape. Something far away, where no one knew you, where the ache in your chest could fade, even if just for a little while.

You hadn’t expected to find solace in someone else.

Yet, when you first saw that curly head of hair, lounging by the pool, sunglasses on; the weight of the world seemingly resting on his shoulders, something about him made you pause. He looked just as lost, just as far away from his life as you felt from yours.

You hadn’t planned on talking to him.

But then, he caught you staring. You tried to look away quickly, embarrassed, but it was too late—he smiled, that kind of easy, lazy grin that made your heart skip a beat.

It was supposed to be a vacation. A break from everything.

But now, as you sit across from Luke, sipping cocktails and laughing like you’ve known each other for years, you wonder if this wasn’t exactly what you needed.

Forget about the fight. Forget about him. For now, there’s just you, Luke, and the sun setting over the ocean.

Luke liked the idea of you.

It was refreshing, really. You had no idea who he was. Not in the way people usually did, anyway. You weren’t fawning over his hockey career or asking for photos to post online. You didn’t ask for autographs or drop little hints that you knew all about his stats. No, you just saw him—the guy sitting by the pool with the messy curls and tired eyes. The guy who seemed to be looking for an escape, just like you.

In fact, when he first mentioned hockey, you shrugged like it was just another random hobby, something people did on the weekends. You weren’t even a big fan of sports, which he found kind of funny, considering how much his life revolved around the game. Well—his entire life was hockey.

He didn’t mind. Actually, he liked it. It was a reminder that he was more than just a name on a jersey or a face plastered across sports highlights. With you, there were no expectations, no weight of his career pressing down on him. He didn’t have to be Luke Hughes, Devils defenseman. He could just be Luke from Michigan.

And for you, that was all he needed to be.

You weren’t sure how you ended up spending most of your days with him, but it felt natural—like falling into step with someone who’d been walking beside you all along. The conversation was easy, flowing from one topic to the next, never forced. Sometimes, you talked about your lives in vague terms, both of you dancing around the details of what brought you here, to this moment. He mentioned the pressures of his career, the endless grind, the expectations from fans, coaches, and teammates. You told him about the fight with your boyfriend, how things had felt off for months now, how you’d been trying to hold it together but didn’t know if you could anymore.

“I get it,” Luke said one afternoon, his voice quiet as you both stared out at the ocean, the waves crashing rhythmically in the distance. “Sometimes, you just need to get away from everything.”

You nodded, grateful for the understanding in his tone. It wasn’t pity, and it wasn’t judgment. Just an acknowledgment that life could be heavy, that sometimes it was too much to carry alone.

The days blurred together in the best way. Mornings were spent walking along the beach, the sand cool beneath your feet, the sun slowly warming the sky. Sometimes, you and Luke would rent bikes and ride along the coastline, the wind whipping through your hair as you laughed and raced each other. Evenings were for cocktails by the pool or quiet dinners in small, tucked-away restaurants, where the glow of candlelight made everything feel a little more intimate.

And in between, there were the little moments—the shared glances, the casual touches, the way his hand would brush against yours when he passed you a drink, lingering just a second too long. It was slow, almost unspoken, but you could feel the shift between you, like a tide quietly rising. The air around you seemed heavier when you were close, charged with something neither of you were quite ready to name.

One night, after a particularly long day in the sun, you found yourselves back at his hotel room. It wasn’t planned, just a natural progression after dinner. The soft glow of the room’s lighting reflected off the windows, casting shadows across the floor as you both collapsed onto the couch. Luke stretched out beside you, his arm thrown casually behind your shoulders, and you leaned into him, feeling the warmth of his skin through his yellow Michigan t-shirt.

“Do you ever wish things were simpler?” you asked quietly, your gaze fixed on the soft flicker of the TV in front of you. Some show was playing, but neither of you were really watching.

Luke tilted his head down, looking at you with a soft smile. “Every day,” he said, his voice low. “Especially now.”

You didn’t need to ask what he meant. You knew. The weight of expectations, the pressure to always be ‘on,’ it was exhausting. And for you, the constant strain of a relationship that seemed to be fraying at the edges had taken its toll. There was a comfort in the fact that, for both of you, this—whatever this was—felt uncomplicated.

“You make it easier,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Luke’s hand slid down to yours, his fingers brushing over your knuckles, slow and gentle. “You too,” he said softly. “I haven’t felt this…normal in a long time.”

There it was again. That unspoken something hanging between you. The electricity that seemed to buzz in the air whenever you were near him. You could feel it now, stronger than ever, as his thumb traced idle circles against the back of your hand.

Your heart pounded, louder than the sound of the TV, louder than the faint hum of the air conditioning. You could feel the tension between you building, thick and undeniable. You turned to face him, your eyes meeting his, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. You just stared, your breath catching in your throat as the space between you felt like it was shrinking by the second.

“I think I need this,” you whispered, not sure if you were talking about the moment, the escape, or maybe just Luke himself.

His gaze flicked down to your lips, hesitating for a split second before he leaned in. The touch of his lips was soft at first, tentative, like he was testing the waters. But then, it deepened, a spark igniting between the two of you that made your heart race.

The kiss was electric—something you hadn’t felt in what felt like forever. It stirred something inside you that had long been dormant, like flicking a switch you’d forgotten even existed. Your stomach flipped in that way your friends always talked about, but you hadn’t believed in until this moment. Every nerve in your body lit up, a warmth spreading through you, hotter than the sun beating down on you earlier that day.

You leaned in closer, your hands instinctively finding their way to his shoulders, gripping the fabric of his shirt as if you were afraid to let go. Luke’s hand cradled the back of your head, pulling you into him, his other hand resting on your waist, sending jolts of heat through your skin.

It was intoxicating, the way he kissed you—slow and deliberate, but filled with a kind of intensity that made you forget where you were, forget the world outside. All that mattered was the moment, the feeling of him so close, and the way your body seemed to come alive under his touch.

You hadn’t realized just how much you’d been craving this—the feeling of being wanted, of being seen in a way that your relationship back home had long since stopped providing. The thought of your boyfriend flickered briefly in the back of your mind, but you pushed it away, buried it beneath the growing need, the pull you felt toward Luke in this moment.

His lips left yours for just a second, and you could feel his breath warm against your skin as he whispered, “You okay?”

You opened your eyes, meeting his, and the intensity there made you shiver despite the heat. You nodded, your voice caught somewhere in your throat, too overwhelmed by everything—the kiss, the rush of adrenaline, the way your heart hammered against your chest—to say anything coherent. But it didn’t matter. Luke’s thumb traced the edge of your jaw, his gaze locked on yours like he could read every unspoken thought in your mind.

He leaned in again, kissing you softer this time, slower. And that’s when it hit you—how different this felt. How different he felt. You couldn’t remember the last time your boyfriend kissed you like this, like you were the only person in the world. Like he didn’t want to let you go.

But Luke didn’t know. He didn’t know that you were still tethered to someone else. That your life back home wasn’t just messy—it was complicated, hanging on by a thread that you weren’t sure you had the strength to cut just yet.

For now, though, you let yourself get lost in it. Lost in Luke, in the warmth of his lips and the feel of his hands on you, in the way he made you forget everything else. Just for a little while. Just for now.

That was how most of your days were spent, now. You were completely lost in Luke.

Every morning started the same: you’d wake up to the soft glow of sunlight filtering through the curtains, your body still tangled in the warmth of his sheets. Luke was always there beside you, his arm casually draped over your waist or his legs intertwined with yours. It felt easy, waking up with him, like the two of you had done this a thousand times before.

There was a kind of comfort in the quiet moments between sleep and wakefulness, the way you’d lie there for a while, wrapped up in each other, the world outside his room feeling distant and irrelevant.

But it wasn’t just the mornings. The entire day seemed to revolve around Luke. Whether it was lounging by the pool, the two of you exchanging lazy smiles and playful banter, or taking spontaneous drives along the coast with the windows down and the salty breeze in your hair. Everything felt easy with him.

You talked for hours—about his love for hockey, the relentless schedule that had worn him down, and the expectations that weighed heavy on his shoulders. He never once mentioned his fame, never flaunted who he was. He didn’t have to. In these moments, Luke wasn’t the NHL player, the up-and-coming star, Jack and Quinn Hughes' little brother; he was just a guy who wanted to escape the noise, to find something that felt real. That was real.

And you were that escape for him, just like he was for you.

Your days were sun-soaked, spent laughing and talking about nothing and everything, with the kind of connection that felt rare, almost surreal. You explored the small coastal towns, eating seafood at hole-in-the-wall diners and watching the sunset dip below the horizon from hidden stretches of beach.

There was something intimate about the way he looked at you during those sunsets, his arm slung over your shoulders as you both watched the sky turn shades of pink and orange. It was as if the rest of the world didn’t exist, like it was just the two of you in this bubble, suspended in time.

But the nights—those were different.

At night, things shifted. When the sun dipped below the horizon, there was an urgency in the way Luke would pull you close, his lips finding yours in the darkness. The heat between you grew, the stolen glances during the day giving way to something deeper, something neither of you could deny. The connection you shared became more than just a distraction from your problems. It became a lifeline, something you both clung to, even though you knew it couldn’t last forever.

But you didn’t think about that. Not in the heat of his touch, not when his hands were on your skin, making you feel alive in a way you hadn’t in so long. Each night felt like a new beginning, like a fresh chance to forget everything outside this small slice of paradise you’d carved out for yourselves.

You found yourself falling deeper into Luke. The way he laughed, how his smile always reached his eyes, how effortlessly he made you feel like you were the only person that mattered. He wasn’t just a fleeting escape anymore. He was becoming your reality, a reality that was infinitely better than the one waiting for you back home.

Home.

The word weighed heavier on you with each passing day. You hadn’t told Luke about your boyfriend, hadn’t mentioned the fight or the messy relationship you were running from. And with every kiss, every shared moment, the guilt gnawed at the back of your mind. But it was easy to push it aside when you were with him. So easy to pretend like you weren’t still tethered to someone else.

With Luke, everything felt perfect. It was an illusion, you knew that. This vacation couldn’t last forever, and at some point, you would have to face the reality you’d left behind. But for now—for as long as you could—you let yourself get lost in Luke. You let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, this could be enough.

───

Luke placed the cherry in your mouth, his fingers brushing against your lips, sending a jolt of electricity through you. You giggled, feeling the tension simmer between you two as you leaned back against the couch, your body sinking into the cushions. But the playful smile that curled on your lips couldn't hide the heat building beneath the surface.

His eyes lingered on your mouth as you bit down on the cherry, and something shifted in the air. The teasing, carefree vibe from earlier dissolved into something much heavier, more charged. Luke’s gaze was intense now, watching you in a way that made your heart race, your skin flush with a warmth that had nothing to do with the Florida heat.

You swallowed, the taste of the cherry lingering on your tongue, but the moment felt too thick, too heavy to laugh off. Luke’s hand rested on the cushion beside your thigh, so close that you could feel the warmth of him, but still not close enough. His body leaned forward just a little, his lips quirking up in that same lazy grin that had caught your attention by the pool days ago, but his eyes were darker now—filled with something you both had been ignoring for too long.

You held his gaze, feeling the weight of it settle in your chest, your breathing shallow as your mind raced. This was different. This wasn’t just lighthearted flirting anymore. There was something undeniable between the two of you, something you both wanted but had danced around, pretending it wasn’t real. But now, with Luke leaning closer, his fingers grazing the bare skin of your leg, it was impossible to ignore.

"Want another?" His voice was low, almost a murmur, but there was a playful edge to it, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly as he reached for another cherry, twirling it between his fingers.

You shook your head, biting your lip as you looked at him through hooded eyes. "I think you know what I want."

Luke’s grin widened, but it was slow, deliberate, like he was savoring the moment. His hand shifted, and before you could even process it, his fingers were tracing the edge of your jaw, his thumb brushing the corner of your mouth, wiping away a drop of juice from the cherry. The simple touch sent a shiver down your spine, your body reacting to him in ways you couldn’t control.

“Do I?” His voice was rough, teasing, but there was a challenge in his tone, one that made your heart skip a beat. He leaned in closer, so close that you could feel his breath on your skin, smell the faint scent of his expensive cologne lingering in the air between you. “Maybe you should tell me.”

You swallowed hard, your throat dry as his fingers lingered on your face, tracing the line of your jaw down to your neck, sending sparks through your skin. Your mind was spinning, torn between the guilt that flickered in the back of your mind and the overwhelming need that had taken over your body.

Your lips parted, but no words came out, just a soft breath as Luke closed the distance between you. His lips brushed against yours, featherlight at first, barely a kiss, just a tease that made you ache for more. You could feel the restraint in him, the way he was holding back, but the heat between you two was undeniable.

You tilted your head up, pressing into him just a little, and that was all it took.

Luke’s lips crashed into yours with a hunger that made your pulse race, his hand sliding up your neck, fingers tangling in your hair as he pulled you closer. The kiss was messy, desperate, full of need that neither of you could deny any longer. Your body reacted instinctively, leaning into him, your hands gripping his shirt as you tugged him down against you, wanting him closer, needing him closer.

His weight pressed against you, pinning you to the couch as his hands roamed your body, fingers tracing the curves of your waist, your hips, igniting a fire in your core that you hadn’t felt in what felt like forever. The world outside didn’t exist anymore. There was no fight, no boyfriend, no past—just Luke and the way he made you feel, like you were the only person in the world.

His lips left yours, trailing down your jaw, your neck, sucking softly on the sensitive skin just below your ear, and you gasped, arching into him. You could feel the tension in his body, the way he held himself back, trying not to move too fast, but you didn’t care anymore. You wanted him, needed him, more than you’d ever realized.

"Luke..." you whispered, breathless, your fingers tightening in his curly locks as he sucked lightly on your neck. Your mind was spinning, lost in the feeling of him, lost in the heat between you two.

He pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours, his breath coming out in shallow pants as he looked down at you. “Are you sure about this?”

You nodded, your lips brushing against his as you whispered, “Yes.” There was no hesitation in your voice now, no doubt. You wanted this. You wanted him.

Luke’s eyes darkened with desire, and before you could say another word, his lips were on yours again, kissing you like he was drowning and you were the air he needed to breathe.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, your lips still connected. Luke's hands explored every curve of your body, his touch sending shivers down your spine. His fingers gripped your hips, then traced your sides, pausing at your waist as if memorizing every inch of you. His touch was both gentle and hungry, like he couldn’t get enough of you, but was savoring every moment, every sensation.

Your heart was pounding, so fast you thought he might hear it, but the only sound filling the room was your ragged breaths and the soft, wet sounds of your lips moving against his. His weight on top of you, the heat of his body, the way his lips trailed along your neck and down to your collarbone—it was intoxicating, pulling you further into the moment.

“God, I need you so bad,” Luke murmured against your skin, his voice hoarse and filled with a rawness that sent a thrill through you.

He kissed his way down your neck, his lips warm and soft, while his hands slid beneath the fabric of your shirt, fingers brushing over your bare skin, sending shockwaves through your entire body.

You arched into him, a soft moan escaping your lips as his hands moved higher, his touch igniting something deep inside you. You felt the tension coiling, building in your stomach, an ache that only he could soothe. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him back to your mouth, kissing him harder, your body responding instinctively to the desire coursing through you.

Luke groaned, his grip tightening as he pressed his hips against yours, and you gasped, your body reacting instantly to the friction, to the way his body fit so perfectly against yours. It was dizzying, the way your mind spun, your thoughts consumed by nothing but him.

“I want you, please,” you whispered, the words slipping out before you could even think, your voice thick with need. You hadn’t planned on saying it, hadn’t thought you’d feel this much, but the way Luke made you feel, the way his body moved against yours, it was undeniable.

Luke stilled for a moment, his forehead pressing against yours as he caught his breath. His eyes searched yours, dark and intense, like he was trying to read every thought in your head, to make sure you meant it. “You sure?” he asked, his voice low, the question a mix of concern and desire.

You nodded, your legs tightening around him, pulling him impossibly closer. “Yes,” you breathed, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sure.”

That was all it took.

Luke’s lips crashed against yours again, and this time, there was no holding back. His hands moved with purpose, tugging at your shirt, his fingers skimming across your skin as he pulled it over your head and tossed it aside. His lips followed, kissing down your chest, his touch sending sparks of pleasure shooting through you. You gasped, your body arching into him, your fingers gripping his shoulders as you pulled him closer, needing more, needing all of him.

The heat between you two was unbearable, the tension that had been simmering for days finally boiling over. There was no room for second thoughts, no space for anything but the overwhelming desire that consumed both of you.

Luke’s hands were everywhere, exploring, teasing, driving you wild with every touch. You couldn’t get enough of him, the way he felt against you, the way he kissed you like he was afraid this moment might slip away if he let go for even a second. And you kissed him back with the same urgency, your bodies moving in sync, every touch, every kiss pulling you further and further into each other.

Luke pulled away for a second, glancing to make sure you were alright. You gave him a small nod, breathless, pleading with him to hurry up. He slowly pulled down his pants, revealing his bulge. You were practically drooling at the mere sight, your head falling back.

You felt his hands graze your underwear, feeling the warmth underneath. His breath hitched at the feeling, his jaw slacking slightly.

“So beautiful,” he mumbled before moving your underwear to the side. You heard his heavy breathing, and you opened your eyes to meet his eyes as you nodded again.

“Please,” you sighed.

Luke led his tip to your aching pussy, groaning at the warm feeling despite not even being inside of you yet. He slowly pushed in, a relieved sigh leaving both of you. The world outside felt like it had faded into nothing, and all that remained was this—this moment, this heat, this connection between you and Luke.

“Oh, fuck,” Luke cried out as his head fell back. “Feels so good, baby,” he praised. He slowly bottomed you out, and you swore you could feel him all the way up to your throat,

You wrapped your legs tighter around his waist as you moaned, letting your eyes flutter shut in pure pleasure. As he began thrusting in and out of you, you swore you were seeing stars.

As he continued slamming into you, with more force and effort, all you could think about was him; the way he made you feel like you were the only thing that mattered in the world. It wasn't just sex, it was more—and you hoped he felt it, too.

The quick creaking of the couch and your moans were the only thing that could be heard in room. Luke leaned in, pressing his forehead against yours before pushing his lips against yours. One of his hands slid up your body, thinly wrapping around your neck as he began snapping his hips against yours.

“Baby, fuck,” he groaned into the kiss as he furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. “Shit, you feel so good.”

You felt the familiar knot in your lower stomach begin to form, causing your head fall back into the couch. “Oh, Luke, 'm so close,”

Luke's other hand found your clit, rubbing it harshly as he felt himself getting closer and closer to his climax. A few more deep slams into your cunt, and the two of you came with a shaking force.

And you realized it was more than just a distraction now, more than just an escape. Luke had become something you hadn’t expected—something real, something you craved, something that made you forget about everything else.

“Oh my god,” you cried out, letting the orgasm ripple out of you, gripping his biceps. “Oh, fuck.”

Luke didn't move—he stayed inside of you, letting the orgasm slowly subside. His forehead rested gently against yours, both of you still catching your breath, the heat of the moment slowly giving way to something softer. Luke’s familiar, boyish smile tugged at the corner of his lips, a mixture of satisfaction and a hint of shyness now that the intensity had faded. It made you laugh, a small, breathless sound that broke the silence.

You opened your eyes and met his, finding that same playful sparkle in his gaze, though there was something more in them now, too—something deeper, warmer. His expression made your heart swell in your chest, a strange sense of peace washing over you in the aftermath.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you teased, brushing a strand of his curls away from his forehead, your fingers lingering in his hair.

Luke grinned wider, his breath still uneven as he shifted slightly to pull you closer, his arms wrapping around you like he didn’t want to let go. “Just... appreciating the moment,” he murmured, his voice low and soft. His thumb brushed over your arm in lazy circles, his touch gentle now, almost reverent.

You couldn’t help but smile at him, the warmth of his body, the way he looked at you like there was nowhere else he’d rather be. It felt easy, natural, like you’d known him for far longer than a few days. The weight of the world, the stress of your life back home, all of it seemed so distant now, as if this place, this moment, existed outside of reality.

“I think I like Florida,” you said with a chuckle, snuggling into his chest as his arms tightened around you. “Even if it was an accident.”

Luke laughed softly, the sound rumbling through his chest as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “If it brings you here, I’d call it a happy accident.”

You felt your cheeks warm at his words, but it wasn’t the same kind of heat from earlier. This was something different—a flutter of something that felt suspiciously close to contentment, maybe even happiness. The kind of feeling you hadn’t expected to find in someone else, especially after everything with your boyfriend.

But as Luke held you, his heart beating steadily against yours, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, you had found something real in this unexpected escape. Something that went beyond just a temporary distraction.

And the thought both thrilled and terrified you.

Luke tilted your chin up, his eyes searching yours again, and for a moment, you could feel the weight of unspoken things hanging between you. He didn’t say anything, though, just smiled that crooked, boyish smile of his before kissing you softly, like he was sealing a promise neither of you were quite ready to say aloud.

Whatever this was, whatever it was turning into, you didn’t want to think about it too much. Not yet. For now, it was enough to be here with him, to share this space, this connection.

“Stay with me tonight,” he whispered, his voice gentle but full of meaning.

You nodded, your heart skipping a beat as you nestled closer to him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

You rested your head against Luke’s chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing, the warmth of his skin against yours. For a while, there was nothing but the quiet rhythm of your hearts, beating in time with one another. It was peaceful, comfortable, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

But even as you lay there, wrapped up in Luke’s arms, a small voice in the back of your mind whispered doubts. You couldn’t ignore the nagging thoughts completely, the flicker of guilt that had been lurking ever since you met him. You hadn’t told him everything. Not yet.

There was still him. Your boyfriend. The one you had come to Florida to forget.

The thought of your boyfriend felt distant now, like a shadow of another life, but it was still there—lingering. You and Luke hadn’t defined anything, hadn’t talked about what this was or what it could become. But the fact that you hadn’t told Luke you were still technically with someone… it weighed on you, even if you wanted to pretend it didn’t. Especially now, as he held you close, whispering promises you weren’t sure you deserved.

Luke ran his fingers lightly through your hair, his voice a soft murmur as he spoke, “You’re quiet. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

You swallowed, feeling the tension creep back into your body. For a second, you considered telling him the truth—about your boyfriend, about the fight, about why you’d really come to Florida. But you didn’t. Instead, you forced a smile, hoping he couldn’t see through it.

“Just… thinking,” you said softly, lifting your gaze to meet his. “About how lucky I am to have found you here.”

It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. Luke smiled, his thumb brushing over your cheek in that gentle way of his, and the knot of guilt twisted tighter in your chest. You hadn’t meant for things to get this complicated. But now that they had, you knew it was only a matter of time before the truth came out.

And when it did, you weren’t sure what would be left between you and Luke.

───

“You had a fucking boyfriend, are you kidding me right now?” Luke's words were harsh as he threw your phone on the hotel bed, his expression nothing short of pissed.

You flinched at the sound of the phone hitting the mattress, the tension in the room thickening. He paced in front of you, hands tugging at his hair as if trying to physically keep himself from exploding. You stood there, arms crossed defensively, your heart racing with frustration of your own.

“It wasn’t like that,” you shot back, your voice rising in defiance. “We were on a break, Luke! It wasn’t serious anymore—he and I were practically over.”

“Practically over?” Luke echoed, his laugh bitter and incredulous. He stopped pacing and turned to face you, his eyes blazing with disbelief. “So, what? You just decided to hop on a plane and find someone else while you weren’t technically broken up? You should’ve told me. You lied to me!”

“I didn’t lie!” You snapped, your own anger boiling over. “I never said I was single, I just didn’t tell you because it didn’t matter. He doesn’t matter! He’s out of my life!”

Luke took a step toward you, his expression hardening. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. If it didn’t matter, you would’ve told me. You’re trying to act like you did nothing wrong, but keeping something like this? That’s the same as lying.”

Your chest tightened, heat rushing through your body as your defenses kicked in. “Don’t twist this on me, Luke. You’re acting like I cheated on you when we weren’t even anything official. We were on a break, for god’s sake. I was done with him.”

“But you didn’t tell me!” Luke’s voice cracked with frustration, his hands gesturing wildly as if trying to make sense of the situation. “You let me think there was nothing holding you back. That it was just us. That we… that this was real!”

You clenched your fists, trying to hold back the flood of emotions threatening to spill over. “It is real! I never wanted to hurt you, Luke. I came here to get away from that mess, not to drag it with me. I didn’t expect to meet you, to… to feel this way.”

Luke shook his head, his jaw tightening as he looked away, his hands gripping the back of his neck. “But you let me fall for you,” he said, his voice quieter now, but no less intense. “And all the while, you were still tied to him. How do I know you’re even telling the truth now?”

You felt a wave of frustration crash over you, your temper flaring up again. “Don’t act like I’m the only one here who’s screwed up! You’ve been hiding things too, haven’t you? You didn’t even tell me who you really are—that you’re this big shot hockey player. You kept that from me too!”

Luke’s eyes flashed with something like hurt, but the anger was still there, simmering beneath the surface. “That’s not the same thing, and you know it. I didn’t hide something that could hurt you. I didn’t lie about someone else being in my life!”

You let out a frustrated breath, taking a step back, feeling cornered. “Fine! Maybe I messed up. But don’t act like I’m the only one who made mistakes here, Luke. You didn’t tell me everything either.”

Luke’s gaze locked onto yours, both of you standing there, chests heaving with the weight of the argument. Neither of you willing to back down. Neither of you ready to admit defeat.

“You know what?” Luke finally said, his voice cold as he broke the silence. “If you’re gonna keep defending yourself, then maybe you’re right. Maybe we’re not what I thought we were.”

His words hit you harder than you expected, your breath catching in your throat. You stared at him, the fire in your chest warring with the sudden ache you felt deep inside.

“Luke—”

“No.” He cut you off, his expression hardening once again. “I need time to think. Alone.”

With that, he turned and walked out the door, leaving you standing in the middle of the room, your mind spinning with everything left unsaid.

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[midnightsslut]

Since you’re so good at connecting songs (I’m still in awe about how you made me realize that atw and illicit affairs are about the same subject), what is your most big brain/audacious/out there theory/connection about Taylor’s songs?

first of all, thank you! i have to say, I’m not the first one to get the idea that there are parallels between those two songs, but I’d never really sat down with them line by line. this ask really got me wondering because i feel like there are a lot of parallels I can think of but idk how out there they are. here is one that i don’t see people talking about a lot:

coney island feels like the other perspective of the story in you’re losing me, especially when you consider that taylor asked matt berninger about writing songs that deal with their own relationship issues with his wife. of course, coney island and you’re losing me were written at different points in their relationship, but the sentiment appears to be the same.

this got long, so I’m putting a cut here.

first of all, here is how taylor described coney island in her evermore interview with zane lowe (around the 37-minute mark)

The perspective I was coming from was like a male perspective of regret or guilt after a lifetime of apattern of behavior, and i've been kind of touching on sort of things like that on the song tolerate it where there's this person one side of the relationship who's felt like they've just… Their partner's been there, but they haven't *been* there. They've been there, but they're just sitting next to each other, eating breakfast, but they haven't they haven't been there […] I really loved writing, ‘we were like the mall before the internet / it was the one place to be.’ I was trying to reflect on the coney island visual of a place where thrills were once sought, you know, a place where once it was all electricity and magic, and now the lights are out, and you're looking at it, thinking ‘what did I do?’

‘break my soul in two, looking for you, but you’re right here’ —> ‘you say “I don’t understand,” I say “I know you don’t”’

‘and if this is the long haul, how’d we get here so soon?’ —> ‘how long could we be a sad song before we’re too far gone to bring back to life?’

‘did I close my fist around something delicate? did I shatter you?’ —> ‘my face was gray, but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick.’

‘over and over, lost again with no surprises / disappointments, close your eyes / and it gets colder and colder when the sun goes down’ —> ‘i’m getting tired even for a phoenix / always rising from the ashes, mending all her gashes’

‘what’s a lifetime of achievement if I pushed you to the edge, but you were too polite to leave me?’ —> ‘fighting in only your army, frontlines, don’t you ignore me / I’m the best thing at this party’

‘do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?’ —> ‘and the air is thick with loss and indecision’

‘will you forgive my soul when you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?’ —> ‘now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time’

‘the mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams’ —> ‘remember looking at this room? we loved it cause of the light’

‘sorry for not winning you an arcade ring’ —> ‘choose something, babe, I got nothing to believe unless you’re choosing me’

‘did I leave you hanging every single day?’ —> ‘every morning, I glared at you with storms in my eyes’

‘did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray a universe away?’ —> ‘my face was gray, but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick’

‘and when I got into the accident, the sight that flashed before me was your face’ —> ‘now you’re running down the hallway / and you know what they all say / you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’

‘but when I walked up to the podium, i think that i forgot to say your name’ —> ‘don’t you ignore me, I’m the best thing at this party’

you’re losing me is key to the entirety of ttpd, really, so this gives us the ability to draw parallels to sooo many songs on the album. coney island is a goldmine actually. no wonder she’s mashed it up with so many songs on tour.

my next post will be connecting right where you left me and chloe et al whenever I get around to it (to be clear, I don’t think they’re about the same person).

[kaylorstree]

TTPD Gaylor Lyric Analysis

Because there are so many songs, I’m only analysing the gayest ones.

SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO POST THIS!!!!!!

But Daddy I Love Him

Possibly Taylor’s gayest song EVER.

‘These people only raise you to cage you’

A lot of this is about her team, handlers and parents wanting her to stay closeted.

‘These people try to save you because they hate you’

This references judgemental religious people, to whom if she ever came out would want to save her, and pray for her, out of faux concern.

‘Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best’

Again, religious Bible names, but also could reference American conservatives.

‘Told my parents and they came around’

This has to be about being gay. I really doubt her parents wouldn’t have a HUGE problem or be able to influence her that much in terms of problematic men, since she has dated many previously, such as John Mayer and Jake Gylenhall.

‘Tell him to floor it through the fences’

This references Getaway Car, but I also think it references the YNTCD fences, and the other fence meme.

‘I’d rather burn my whole life down’ Dating a man would never ‘burn down’ her entire life.

Down Bad

‘Crying at the gym’

Taylor and Karlie went to the gym all the time. There is so much photographic evidence of this.

Side note (which I think I have previously posted about): I’ve always found it odd how they would be so dressed up for the gym, particularly Taylor. It makes me think they were having lunch or hanging out in secret, for some privacy from the paparazzi maybe?

‘Like I just lost my twin’

Do I really need to elaborate this line?

‘Fuck it if I can’t have him’

I genuinely see no way Taylor couldn’t date any man she really wanted. The only way she REALLY couldn’t have someone would have to be a HUGE reason.

‘Did you take all my old clothes, just to leave me here naked and alone?’

A man wouldn’t take a woman’s clothes, Also, Taylor and Karlie shared a load of clothes back in the day.

Guilty As Sin?

The religious undertones continue, along with the references to heaven and angels.

‘Written mine on my upper thigh, only in my mind’

‘What if the way you hold me, is the thing that’s holy’

‘Without touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin’

Surely it isn’t a sin by any standards to THINK about having sex with a man? But a woman, YES.

‘I keep my longest locked, in lower case inside a vault’.

This was suggest she has repressed longings she needs to hide, but also suggests ‘loml’ and ‘iwannagetyouback’ are important to listen to and decipher.

Fresh Out The Slammer

‘Fresh out the slammer, I’m running back home to you’

This suggests being imprisoned or trapped. To consider a 6 year relationship as being a prison would be offensive to Joe, but would make sense if this was just another fake relationship she’s trapped in until she can finally be with the person she has been waiting for.

Clara Bow

‘You look like Stevie Nicks, in ‘75, the hair and lips’

At first I didn’t understand why this reference jumped out at me- I then realised that there was this tweet comparing Karlie to Steve Nicks’ ex, Linsday Buckingham.

‘You look like Clara Bow in this life, remarkable’

She sings about women and their features throughout this song.

‘Half moonshine, full eclipse’

Karlie is always referred to the sunshine, hiding the sun would be an eclipse.

Peter

‘In closets like cedar, preserved from when we were just kids’

‘You said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me’

This suggests waiting for someone when they can finally be together.

‘As the men masqueraded, I hope you’d return’

Men masquerading suggests acting or pretending, just as her beards have been until she can be in a real relationship with the person she actually wants to be with.

iwannagetyouback

‘Wait til you fix your face’

Only a girl would need to fix their face. This also aligns with The 1975 song ‘Girls’, the one that was playing when Taylor and Karlie famously kissed.

‘Curse you out, or pull you into the closet’

I mean, again, when does someone ever literally pull some into a closet? Only figuratively.

Chloe Or Sam Or Sophia Or Marcus

The premise of the song is talking about someone bisexual. It’s impossible to decipher it any other way.

So, she’s outing and implicating one of her previous boyfriends which would be EXTREMELY problematic.

On the other hand, if she was singing about a bisexual woman, that would make sense. There is less stigma surrounding bisexual women compared to men, by some extent.

The Prophecy

‘Don’t want money, just someone who really loves me’

Again, this doesn’t make sense to attribute to a man. Why would she lose money by being in a relationship? Only if it was incredibly controversial, like a queer one.

Also, ‘The Prophecy’ suggests that this is the way things have to be, have been and will be. However, if she changes this it will not be expected for others in the future.

‘I got cursed like Eve got bitten’

‘Was it punishment?’

This alludes once again to sin and religious imagery, but also about how being LGBT can feel like a curse or something unwanted.

‘Looked to the sky’

This suggests God is responsible for the prophecy itself.

‘Pat around when I get home’ alludes to crime and accusations. Perhaps growing up her family were maybe onto her concerning where she’s been and who she’s been with.

Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?

‘You don’t get to tell me about sad’

‘You wouldn’t last a year in the asylum where they raised me’

As discussed online, Taylor didn’t grow up with any particular trauma or a bad childhood by any stretch of the imagination. However, the concept of her being closeted on a global scale, to constantly having to lie in order to keep her livelihood is pretty traumatic in my opinion.

A lot of people wouldn’t be able to survive that.

Please tell me what your interpretations are! 🌼🌈

[callsign-joyride]

Fortnight | J.H.S

Summary: You realize that things with Jake aren't going to work out. Content Warnings: Angst (LOTS of it) Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x reader Lyric: "Thought of calling you, but you won't pick up. 'Nother fortnight lost in America." A note: I've been loving TTPD so I've decided to write fanfics inspired by the album! Each fic will be based on a different track/lyric, and they will all be about different characters! Some will be smutty, others not so much.

You thought that you were happy with Jake. Really, you did. Despite the fact that both of you were out of town, you had managed to stay together for almost a year and you were already moved in. You had met each other’s families a few times, and everything seemed to be going good. That was until you started to have work trip after work trip with your promotion, and he had what felt like back-to-back deployments.You only had two months and some weekends together out of the upcoming year, as far as both of you knew. 

It was starting to get to a point where you were considering leaving and moving back home. Maybe this wasn’t a lifestyle that you were cut out for. Penny would come by the apartment a few times a week when you were both gone to dust and make sure that nothing was stolen, but it wasn’t an ideal situation at all. You finally broke down and cried three months into Jake’s deployment.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore… I did the math and we’ll barely see each other over the next year. We both travel a lot for our jobs now, but I didn’t think it would be like this,” you said, over wine with your girl friends from work.

“Aw, hun, I know exactly how you feel. Things on your end should be calming down in the next few months. I wasn’t home much in my first year, either,” Estelle said.

“But that’s the thing, I don’t know if I can make it a few more months. I feel like I’m missing out on what the other couples are doing because my boyfriend is overseas doing God knows what and I’m always on another plane.”

“You should try to give him a call when you sober up. Tell him what you want.”

You finished your glass of wine and went back up to your hotel room. Calling him late at night would be too much work, and you were too tired to even try it. So, you tried to call him in the morning when you were feeling better, like Estelle said.

“Hey, this is Hangman. Leave a message.”

You sighed and heard the tone beep before taking a deep breath and taking a moment to think of what you were going to say.

“Hey, I really need to talk to you about something. It’s important. Call me back when you get the chance.”

He have good enough service to check his voicemails and text messages until it was around dinner time for you. And of course, his phone was barely working, so all he could get from the message was that it was from you and you were upst about something. 

“Rooster, man, I need to borrow your phone! My girl called, she was upset about something.”

“Alright, but make it quick. I told my wife I’d call her as soon as I got the chance.”

“Thanks, I owe you.”

Jake sat on his bed before he dialed your number. It was so relieving to hear your voice, and you didn’t sound so upset this time.

“Hello?” You asked.

“Hey, it’s me. My phone’s being a piece of shit right now so I only heard part of your message. Is everything okay?”

You sighed and sat on the hotel bed.

“No, actually. Jake, I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can make this work anymore.”

“What… What do you mean by that?”

“I love you, but I don’t know if all of the distance and us traveling all the time will work out. We’ll hardly be seeing each other at all this year, I did the math. And, you know, I thought being a Navy girlfriend would be easy, but that was before I got promoted. I know that none of this has been planned, but I’m traveling so much that I don’t know if this relationsip will work anymore.”

“Fuck, okay, well, maybe there’s something I can do, right?”

“I don’t want you to lose your job because of me, and I don’t wanna jinx it but, it seems like I’m the only reason you’d come home early, and there isn’t an emergency.”

“So, what’s next?”

“Well, I’m gonna start looking for places soon. There’s a chance I’ll be moved out by the time you get back. I’m really sorry, Jake. Truly.”

“I am, too.”

You weren’t in a rush to move out, but you did start to put non-essential things in boxes while you looked for apartments. There was a brief moment where you thought of moving back home to New Hampshire, but it wouldn’t really work out because of your job. Between traveling for work and awkwardly exchanging texts with Jake and the Dagger Squad, you were finally moved out after a month and a half. 

The last time that you saw Jake, it was when you met up to fill out paperwork to be removed from the lease. You still felt awful about everything. He’d try to call you over the next few months, but you never answered. You never read any of his texts, either.

“Hey! If you’re hearing this, I’m busy. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you!” 

He quickly got used to hearing your voicemail, and eventually stopped calling.

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[evermoredeluxe]

We had reason to believe a second rerecording was coming in 2021 specifically because we had no idea how she would go about dropping them and we didn't know about her future touring plans and we didn't even think we'd be getting new albums during the rerecording "era" and I'm pretty sure she had said what a priority they were at the time for her, a lot of us thought it was 1989 but it was Red and that was great! Then summer of 2022 we swore Speak Now and 1989 were coming, surprise! It was Midnights and we were right that she at least recorded SN and 1989 in 2022, but again in 2023 it was made obvious we were getting Speak Now TV because the egg was in the Bejeweled music video where multiple OBVIOUS signs pointed to it, including the ending of the music video where dragons flew around a castle she was standing on the balcony of and a band played an instrumental of enchanted and the next year we got Speak Now TV. At the end of the I Can See You music video where the van is driving away with speak now Taylor, a literal street sign above the car in the center of the screen said "1989tv" THAT IS AN EASTER EGG FROM TAYLOR But after every. single. album. it's been "I really thought it was rep tv", "then why has she been hinting at rep tv", "I like the new album but I want rep tv", "I wish she had given us rep tv instead", and I know they'll be the first to complain about the album and the vault songs and what she should've done or needed to do and how it needed to be done. It's the same thing people do with new albums, they shit on it a new one comes out and all of a sudden she should have done more of what she was doing before. All the people who didn't like TTPD suddenly love Midnights the album that "ruined her career" more and when TS12 comes, "even TTPD was better" will happen.

^^^^ what do i even add, you said it all bestie. i can’t imagine how frustrating it is, good that she’s pulled back

[theafterglow83]

Stray thoughts on a Sunday morning.

5/12/24

Since the release of TTPD I’ve heard and seen a lot of Maylors rising from the grave. Some words of advice- stay buried.

Their claim is that Taylor has had a hidden relationship with Matty Healy for the past 8 years. I’ve even seen some claim Reputation is about him

I laughed.

I’ve heard people say kissgate was to make Matty jealous.

I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes

They even think Maroon is about Matty😂

* shakes head

Let me tell you something honey- NYC ain’t screaming nobody’s name but Karlie Kloss who also just happens to be the only one Taylor’s ever dated who is fit like a daydream and Matty Healy’s lips and disgusting stained teeth are not the lips she called home.

Open the schools!

Dream girls

Do they even realize how utterly ridiculous that is?

Do they process any critical thinking skills whatsoever?

Please tell me why Taylor Swift would have to hide a relationship with a white male her own age ?

What’s the scandal?

Yeah, he’s rough around the edges but PR could have easily ironed him out if she was so in love with him as they claim. Nobody’s worse than the overrated, clout chasing, alcoholic, fading athlete she’s bearding with now. They covered up for him when his old tweets surfaced.

At least they got the hidden relationship part right - but she wasn’t hiding ratty you brainless wonders -she was hiding Karlie Kloss.

There also is that rumor that Taylor had a short lived fling with ol ratty from around Feb- March 2023 till around June. Thing is she was touring through most of that time. He was seen at a couple of concerts and out once in NYC. Hardly the making of a love affair - but a good diversion trail for her beloved Swifties to follow and take the bait that he was her secret lover she was hiding from the world if the topic were to come up in her songs.

The entire thing makes me scratch my head. It’s as crazy as the people who believe Karlie was PR to cover up Taylor’s relationship with Diana ( who there’s been zero connections to her in years) or Lily ( which in my opinion is completely fan fiction)

My God there’s more photos of Karlie with Lily than Taylor and not to mention that Derek Blasberg ( KK’s ride or die) is still friends with Lily. Does anyone really believe he would even associate with her if she betrayed his beloved Karlie.

Use your brains!

And please tell me why you would get Karlie Kloss who had multiple bi/ lesbian rumors attached to her to do a PR relationship with Taylor to cover up the fact that Taylor was bi/ gay.

Open the schools - hire more teachers

All roads always lead to Karlie Kloss … and my God who could blame her! Karlie Kloss is one in a 8 billion. Ratlors - Nice try -crawl back in your hole

Rant over - enjoy your day🤍

[foxes-that-run]

The Prophecy

The Prophecy is about Taylor being sad to be alone, feeling like she is fated to be and pleading for it to end differently. It samples, or copies the melody of Stevie Nicks Landslide, which Harry has performed with Stevie twice, including on Taylor's birthday for the Fine Line release. Stevie also wrote a poem for TTPD.

In the Archer Taylor first touched on the idea that "All my Heroes die alone". Referring to her long love of famous couples and artists. In particular Burton and Taylor who she has likened herself and Harry to in Wildest Dreams, Ready for It, and in this record referred to again in 'Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?'. Harry has also likened them to another doomed couple of Joni Mitchell and Graham Nash in Canyon Moon. Here Taylor is pleading to have a happy ending, unlike these famous couples, similar to in Cardigan with "I knew you / Tried to change the ending / Peter losing Wendy"

Taylor also referenced the Perfect music Video in the Lyric Video. A song about ending their relationship and a song about being scared to end up alone.

Landslide

The Prophecy samples or copies the melody of Landslide. A song Stevie Nicks wrote, that established the sound of Fleetwood Mac. Stevie has said it is song was about her romance with bandmate Lindsey Buckingham and their career struggles, as well as her relationship with her business-executive father. Very similar to themes in TTPD and The Prophecy. This mash up of them is good.

Lyrics

(1, 2, 3) Hand on the throttle Thought I caught lightning in a bottle Oh, but it's gone again And it was written I got cursed like Eve got bitten Oh, was it punishment?

The count in is left in the final track, counting up and down is in many Haylor songs as lyrics

A throttle controls the air in an engine, here Taylor means she is slowing down. (In So High School's full throttle means full speed ahead, this is slowing down.

'Thought I caught lightening in the bottle, but it's gone again' is a rare feat, finding a thrilling love. There’s a connotation of wanting to hold onto and display something ephemeral. Gone again - Taylor thought had come back, but lost. (not a never eventuated love, or a long term one, but a thrilling one returned) it reminds me of:

The 1: "I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though"

Lighting is in 2 songs, both referring to Taylor, but also camera flashes in TIWYCF. Here the meaning is the rarest of electric loves.

Shake It Off: I never miss a beat, I’m lightning on my feet

This Is What You Came For: Baby, this is what you came for, lightning strikes every time she moves

The end of this verse is Taylor referring to a 'written' as in decided prophecy that she will end up alone. She feels cursed or that she is being punished and isn't allowed love.

Written is also a Haylor theme, and this line is reminiscent of 1D/Harry's Something Great "The script was written and I could not change a thing / I want to rip it all to shreds and start again"

Pad around when I get home I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope A greater woman wouldn't beg But I looked to the sky and said

Taylor didn't refer to 'woman' before Folklore, I think telling of maturity. As well as crushing, this lyric reminds me of Mastermind "You see, all the wisest women had to do it this way". Here Taylor sees her strength is keeping her going and willing to set aside dignity to plead for what she really.

Looked to the sky could be seen as prayer, or also clouds/sky appear in a lot of their videos. In Me! Taylor walks in clouds, Late Night Talking Harry falls from them. Story of My Life Harry says running after her is like chasing them. In Daylight Harry is climbing down from them and Lavender Haze in Eras she climbs up to them.

Please I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me Who do I have to speak to About if they can redo The prophecy?

There is a thread in Taylors work of speaking about love like religion, here she is begging in much the same way she did in:

Don’t Blame Me: If you walk away I’d beg you on my knees to stay

This Love: Your smile, my ghost, I fell to my knees

The secret message of 1989's track 5, All You Had to do Was Stay was "they paid the price" which is a theme in 12 of Harry and Taylor's songs to each other. Most relevant to this lyric is MFASR on Harry's House, where Harry implored his muse to love him and not worry about their career:

Music for a Sushi Restaurant "I don't want you to get lost / I don't want you to go broke / I want you" and "I'm not going to get lost / I'm not going to go broke / Staying cool / (Know I love you, babe)"

Here Taylor is saying she doesn't want money (which she has an abundance of) she just wants someone to love her. (a gut punch indeed) It is a similar theme to But Daddy I love Him where Taylor felt she gave love up for her voice.

Cards on the table Mine play out like fools in a fable, oh It was sinking in Slow is the quicksand Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand Oh, still I dream of him

In this verse Taylor is putting aside past pretences of being nonchalant and admitting she's stuck on a past love, trapped in a slow quicksand and cannot heal from the wound of losing them. It is densely packed with references to bear with me on this one.

Taylor has referred to hiding cards, and playing games with her muse in the past. Here she is putting them on the table and being honest. With fools (many mentions) in a fable (folklore) and a call back to Treacherous!!

Cards on the table, they were previously hidden by her or the muse in Say don't go: "I'm tryna see the cards that you won't show" (what a great call back for this song).

Slow is the quicksand, is a call back to Treacherous "And I'd be smart to walk away / But you're quicksand"

"Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand" - what a lyric, I love it. Taylor is saying she has been wounded, she cannot heal from the loss.

Poison from a lover is in Getaway Car (He poisoned the well, I was lyin' to myself)

Blood is a Haylor theme that means a wound from love. I will go with Say Don't Go which is already this verse "Walk away and leave me bleedin', bleedin'?"

Finally hand is also a theme, with the imagery here I think she is saying her hand was wounded from holding it out. I like the prick reference which is, probably not intended, but reminds me of Kiwi "she goes home to a cactus" (a prick)

She still dreams of him, Dreams are in Wildest Dreams and Gold Rush "I can’t dare to dream about you anymore"

And I sound like an infant Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen A greater woman stays cool But I howl like a wolf at the moon And I look unstable Gathered with a coven round a sorceress' table A greater woman has faith But even statues crumble if they're made to wait I'm so afraid I sealed my fate No sign of soulmates I'm just a paperweight In shades of greige Spending my last coin so someone will tell me It'll be ok Please

This verse is Taylor loosing hope and becoming more distraught. She refers to wolves and covens which appeared in the lyric video for out of the woods and willow respectively. She also has wolves in daylight:

Daylight “Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down”

She refers to earlier in the song where she compared herself to the idea of what a woman should do, here a greater woman would have faith. She ends with referring to other songs on the record with themes of griege and grey, describing herself as a paperweight. Although a billionaire saying her last coin is on the nose, the concept of her desperation to hear it will be ok is not.

[bullet-prooflove]

They say go big or go home. I say I wanna do both, I wanna go home with Marcus as Mr and Mrs Pike. So, here goes:

Could you please do these TTPD prompts for Marcus Pike? Either one is also totally fine! I just imagined one leading to the next. No pressure though! 🥹

"His hands so calloused from his pistol Softly traces hearts on my face" & "At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger And put it on the one people put wedding rings on."

It’s been a while since Marcus and you have had dinner together, not for a couple of weeks at least. You’ve been over in Baton Rouge, chasing down a man who likes murder women and leave their faces stained with red lipstick and he’s been in New York on the trail of a couple who stole three million dollars’ worth of art from the Colour Factory. It’s like this sometimes, both of you wrapped up in your own worlds but Marcus, he always makes the time to check in.

“How’s my favourite girl?” He would say first thing in the morning over speakerphone while you were trying to hold your hair in place with pins.

“Fighting the humidity.” You’d declare and he would laugh that rich, velvet sound because he loves running his fingers through your relentless curls.

“You didn’t have to waste your downtime by coming here.” You say as he clasps your hand in his, his thumb trailing over your knuckles.

The truth is you don’t know how long this case is going to go on for and until you catch this guy or he absconds to another state you’re stuck in Baton Rouge.

“I missed you.” He tells you toying with the ring on your middle finger. “I’ve been missing you a lot lately.”

“I’m sorry, I know I’m not around…” You say but he shakes his head as he slips the ring of your finger and weighs it in his palm.

“That’s not what I’m trying to say.” He tells you, holding the slender band between your fingers. “I love the life we have together, the home we’ve build. I was thinking maybe we should take the next step.”

He slips the ring onto your engagement, his thumb caressing over the shining metal as it captures the candlelight.

“What do you think?” He asks as his eyes raise up to meet yours, the left side of his mouth quirking up into a smile. “You wanna make an honest man out of me?”

Love Marcus? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[spade-riddles]

Spade, I'm not trying to be a troll here, I swear. But you said recently how disgusted you would be to see Taylor playing aunt to a Kushner child. But don't you think this whole thing is going to end with Taylor pretending to be stepmom to two Kushner kids? It seems like the only logical outcome.

You said you're following Taylor because you think she's planning something big. But what if she's not? To me, songs like Dear Reader suggest the opposite. That Taylor is choosing her family and her happiness above playing the role people want from her. "Find another guiding light." I think that's addressed to us as much as the Hetlors, and I think the same about the themes of TTPD. Everyone in the fandom is going to have to swallow something they don't like, when it all shakes out. At first that seems to be Matty Healy, then it'll be Karlie (for the Gaylors and the Hetlors) and then for us, it'll be the Kushner association. I think she's been warning all of us she's not our hero, for a long time. But we only hear what we want to hear.

The 🎃 messages end the same way as Fresh Out The Slammer - with Taylor going home to the woman she loves. Making sacrifices for the woman she loves. It's not the story of a grand fight on behalf of something bigger. It's one scared woman fighting for the right to be human and live in peace with her family. People help her in the kitchen, she's not helping them. She walks the plank, but she does it to protect her lover. Not anyone else.

♠️ used to talk about a revolution - but that was years ago, and frankly I just think Taylor's priorities have changed. None of the riddles we've received in recent years seem to be about anything other than the freedom to be with Karlie. For me, I'm okay with that. I'm not saying you have to be too. I guess I'm just wondering how you would feel if a stepmom situation was how this all ended? Would it taint everything for you, or do you think you could still be happy for Taylor on some level, and proud of everything you did here?

Hi Anon, thank you for the thought out ask.

For clarity, I did not use the word 'disgusted'. I also do not believe those are Karlie's kids we see, so I do not believe Taylor will play the auntie or stepmom to 'Kushner' kids. Do we forget how many 'Dad' references Taylor has made? Or how Taylor wore pink, the night Jerk announced the birth of a boy.

I lean toward the two boys we see likely being Jerk's kids with Mikey. See this post for why I feel this way. My guess is that Karlie and Taylor will just keep their children very private, and we will not learn about them for years. In the meantime, Karlie stops posting about the two boys. I am not the only person who thinks they have a daughter.

I am not following Taylor because I think she is doing something big. I am following her because she is a brilliant musician, who I believe to also be a good human. Separately, I also think she is going to do something big/important. I was under the impression around here that people think she is going to burn it all down ... hence the imagery of the Lover house on tour. I would have to re-read the 🎃 messages again to see if that sways me. Regardless, if she sneezes it is big news. So if she does choose to come out, it will be huge.

I do agree that she is doing whatever she can to be with Karlie publicly and privately, and anyone caught in the cross-fire be damned. I have listened to Dear Reader as directed at myself/us, of course, and I believe it has merit. But I also know that I have a lot of emojis who visit this blog, seemingly wanting to keep us on board.

FWIW, if she never comes out that is completely fine. I have never been here chasing that goal. Do we get excited when we see her get loud? Yes. But it is her life to live as she chooses. The recent emoji anons say that she is ready to open the door, and she is not afraid.

If she played the stepmom role to Karlie's kids that the public would think are Kushners ... I would be gone. That would mean a lifetime contract with the Kushners and by association through Jared and Ivanka, the Trumps. It would mean that Ivanka and Jared are Taylor's children's aunt and uncle. How can anyone wrap their head around that idea? Why would a super powerful billionaire woman sign up for that? If she is coming out, why do so under that big of a lie? And, why put that kind of stain on your children? Why would we think she would sign up for that? Remember Karlie showed a turkey baster, and Taylor talked about her buns in the oven. Karlie did not have Jerk's kids. So why would they allow the Kushners to latch onto them for life?

If that is the narrative though, I would regret that I ever spent my time on here, other than for the education I have received over the years about Hollywood PR, and the friendships I have made. I would know I played a small part in her story though, as we have brought in many new Kaylors to support her. But, Taylor raising perceived 'Kushners' would be too much for me.

I would ask people to consider this ... no one on Tumblr calls out the Kushners for their criminality more than I do. If Taylor is pals with him, as some people around here believe, why did she play Paper Rings, seemingly at my request? Also, why did she drag him in I Bet You Think About Me, while also mocking Mikey? Maybe we share similar views of them?

[9w1ft]

What is your personal interpretation of Happiness? I've seen ex Kaylors use it as the closure song between them, the ones who don't hate Karlie of course. But you said you don't really believe they broke up. So is it just a metaphor or actually fiction as more of a concept for what it feels to move on?

i have a really specific interpretation for it that has stood the test of time with what i’ve felt through midnights and ttpd, but as some may know i’ve been keeping it to myself for awhile now. i still think that im keeping it to myself unless a few things happen that would affirm my interpretation 🙂 but i thought id add a little more on to this answer for the fun of it, without fully showing my hand.

firstly, one broad thought i have about it is that people tend to ignore or not notice how the instrumental gets upbeat for the last section of the song, and her voice matches it. it’s sort of subtle but i think it’s important to understanding the emotions of the song.

in the fandom, the ‘are kaylor still together’ / ‘when did they break up’ questions are a not insignificant part of a lot of community discourse and so i think naturally a lot of people look to taylor’s songs for answers to these questions. but ultimately they are questions posed by us not her, and i feel like people never stop and think about if they’ve been asking the right questions. i think how did it end is a satirical take on this point actually. that there’s a thirst for answering our own questions that often disregards the people involved, because ultimately it’s about the thrill of knowing, the thrill of gossip, and the thrill of controlling the gossip. and in some cases, making a coin off of the gossip. but i digress.

i also think a lot of ex-kaylors, through no fault of their own, had that immediate ‘breakup’ reaction and interpretation for the song in the context of the time that it was released, winter 2020. people were very much looking around from october 2020 and thinking “what happened??” but now, we can go back and observe how things have played out since then, and with that new context i think it’s a bit easier to arrive to the interpretation i did

phrases like “i see it for what it is” or “leave it all behind” can sound quite negative when sung in a somber tone, but can also sound resolute or even positive when sang with more conviction. i think that so many of the lyrics in this song can come off sounding breakuppy but, and as people in long term committed relationships might help me attest, there are often disagreements or changes or moves that happen that were not what you had planned for and you can hold it against your partner and/or loved ones and you cling on to it, return to it, and harbored feelings can morph into something that looms larger for you over them than it should. and that state of mind often gets in the way of your happiness and everyone’s happiness. you are haunted by your strong feelings that something should have gone a particular way, the way you wanted it to and you had planned for. and maybe you realize that in pursuit of the very specific way you wanted things to go that you might have hurt people along the way, you may have made things harder or more complicated to proceed, and maybe you acknowledge that it’s just not worth it to be hung up on it anymore. maybe you acknowledge that happiness is something that has been built by everyone, and it’s here, and it’s within your reach. and from a birds eye view, you can see this reality and you can see that ultimately you’re not that far off from where you wanted to be and you can see the happiness on the horizon that extends from your history to beyond your lifetimes, and you could be happy with everyone if you just allow yourself to get over the particulars that you’re hung up on.

ultimately, taylor describes life as a willow, so i think we can guess how she proceeded. she didn’t break, she bent with the wind! and to me i see a little bit of the trademark wryness she kept with her through everything, we see it in songs like willow, and fortnight is another example of this, for me. to me, happiness is taylor working through feelings like i described above from within the existing relationship. and to me, especially knowing what we know now (and by knowing i mean, what anyone is able to see with their own eyes), the song doesn’t mean they have to have broken up. and i really think the song shows how they came out of it more unified than ever.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

What do you mean by TTPD is a thirty something album?

I can't really explain it very well or very eloquently, but: it feels like the culmination of life experiences that one goes through in their thirties, especially as a woman and as someone who has certain desires for their life that come somewhat with an expiration date.

Just in the same way that Speak Now is a very Young Adult album about someone toeing the line between teenagedom and adulthood, feeling like a kid in some ways and desperately trying to be grown up, or how 1989 in many ways very much feels like a twentysomething album to me, when you're striking out on your own and figuring out who you are and what you want and learning and growing and recovering from some hard experiences, TTPD is very much a product of its age.

People, again IMO particularly women, are often at a crossroads at that point in their life. You're still young enough that you want to grab life by the horns, but you feel your youth rapidly slipping away, especially if you're single and/or child-free and everyone around you is increasingly pairing off and starting families. You're caught between feeling the liberation and desperation of your 20s and wanting to be settled in some way. You've had successes and failures and joy and heartbreak, often much of it under your belt, and you've learned to put things in perspective. But that also makes you feel what you're missing even more acutely.

And again, for women and especially for women who do want to have families, so many of these questions come home to roost often in painful ways. If you're in a longterm relationship, you wonder where your future is heading. If you're single, you're wondering if you're running out of time to make that happen. If you've been dealing with shit, you're wondering if you're ever going to sort it out or if this is just fundamentally who you are. And on and on and on.

I'm too tired and too bogged down with work to get into it, except that it's just... a vibe. There's a certain accumulation of life experience that you acquire by your 30s no matter your background and life desires and pursuits that gives you enough wisdom to look back on your youth but not enough to really know where you're going a lot of the time lol. There's a grief you feel for your youth, when you realize you're not a kid anymore and there are hard decisions you might need to make.

Someone else can reblog and explain it better but. It's just something really palpable in TTPD and as a thirtysomething I can tell you I feel the album in my bones.

[justwinginglife]

Not a request!! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Okay what should I call you? Wing?

But I really wanted to share something..

Like I wanna feed my delusions after having a brainrot of this anime called Windbreaker because I gotta sip a Soshiro content or two before I continue dealing with people and all but yes I have said enough.

HAHAHAHAHA BUT LIKE... A TS SONG. EY

The Alchemy is so on hit when Olympics is a hype but what about applying that song to Soshiro?

Cheers chanted, cause they said There was no chance, trying to be The greatest in the league Where's the trophy? He just comes running over to me Touch down Call the amateurs and Cut 'em from the team Ditch the clowns, get the crown Baby I'm the one to beat

Like what ifff Soshiro finally promoted as a Vice-Captain while y/n or reader or you, is like been supporting him in his cadet and officer years. He's been training with others and himself to the bone, working hard just to meet the expectations of Mina. Like we know that's his lifeline and he's working and working and working. Of course there will be some breakdowns and self doubts but like you're there and cheering him in your ways. When his suit finally hits to 90%+ of unleashed combat thingy, he didn't know that at first. Maybe he's too focused on fighting? Like what he did with his number 10 and hitting 100. Even he got told that he did, there could be a voice inside of him telling that he's satisfied with his Platoon Leader role as long as he can serve Mina. Soshiro knows that he's a candidate for Vice-Captain but self-doubt here and self-doubt there. There are a lot of Platoon Leaders and capable of having that Vice-Captain role so like he's "Ih I don't know about that..." But when Mina marched her way to him and announced that he's going to be Vice-Captain, he's just waiting for the captain to finish telling what he's going to do, announcing his feats and that. When she did, Soshiro just instantly running towards you and hugged you. Like a typical kdrama romance thing or smth, he spun you around and whispering sweet murmurs of thank yous while you're there, confused. You've been supporting him despite those criticisms or with his up and down self-esteem either you know his struggles or not completely and it's like he's running towards to his wife giddy and telling her that he got promoted and stuff.

"I'm a Vice-Captain now.", "Oh wow holly sh' you deserve that." Like dang we don't need our spouses to become an athlete or sort to have this "These chemicals hit me like white wine" moments. Our bae have goals to achieve and instead of "This happens once every few lifetimes", there's a lot to come when it comes to Soshiro. What if your strict parents finally give her blessings to him? Ey? Ey.🤺🤺 I mean— Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

Hope you have a good day luvie!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Omg hello again bestie! I go by Hannah. Also, I always love hearing your thoughts! This was a very sweet interpretation of the song, which btw is one of my fav songs on the TTPD album, I totally have The Alchemy stuck in my head now that we're talking about it! LOL. And I love the idea of Soshiro just running up to us any time he has an achievement, like it's the first thing he does, and it's so adorable. I want to shower him with love so bad, I wanna tell him he's enough, I wanna tell him I'm proud of him and he did good. Like my baby needs to hear that, he needs to know he's done enough, he's done his best. Sweet baby Soshiro, I love you. Thank you for blessing me with your thoughts.

[pinkheart22]

Lover House & "Lost Album"

Did the Lover house hint to the lost album / Karma?

(i don't know if this has been talked about before)

When the Lover music video was released, Folklore & Evermore were not made yet (although who knows with taylor she could have had the idea already) and were made during the pandemic.

when taylor swift climbs the stairs to the Reputation attic, she passes through a closet / wardrobe of what looks to be un-worn yellow outfits.

To get to reputation she'd have to pass through karma

this room only lights up once she passes through it, and dims when she is not in it with different outfits? that have faded in color.

but the basket in the corner makes me think forward to the Karma music video, and Dorothy in the wizard of Oz with her basket. (basket to also keep all her easter eggs haha) While Taylor doesn't have a basket in the video of Karma on the YELLOW brick road, it is associated with Dorothy. Karma could be a fantastical world to Taylor that did / didn't really happen. If Karma is like the land of Oz, and Taylor plays by the books rather than the film, then: According to the Oz books, Oz it is a hidden fairyland cut off from the rest of the world by the Deadly Desert.

so translated, Karma is a hidden album cut off from the rest of the albums.... + there is a briefcase in this room like she had to pack up and leave this album / era.

In the Karma Music Video NEXT to the yellow brick road is what looks to be THE DEADLY DESERT. Anything living that touches it; turns to sand..." or disappears, like the "lost album/karma" And Taylor blows sand on to the 3 reapers.

i believe the 3 reapers represent the 3 characters, Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, and Scarecrow from Oz. But in reaper form they are death.

A character known as the Grim Reaper causes the victim's death by coming to collect that person's soul.

Death to her albums / collecting the souls of her albums / the souls of her...

MAYBE a reference to Harry Potter and creating the Deathly Hallows, or becoming the master of Death.

That requires 3 things created by death: the cloak, the resurrection stone and the wand.

Taylor said in Time Magazine she's collecting her stolen albums like Horcruxes and Infinity Stones.

I dont know, but Taylor may have all 3 things. She wears the cloak in The Bejeweled Music Video, She Has all the Gems on in Bejeweled (the resurection stone / infinty stones ) AND is the WAND her QUILL?

Quill pen songs, and everyone in Harry Potter writes with a quill too.

Fast Forward to 2024. Taylor just played Miami Florida!!! and has 3 yellow posts lined up on her instagram feed.

Taylor is also NOT using the TTPD grey-ish filter on her posts anymore. Have we left the Tortured Poets Department? heading into a new era, of lost album / reputation. OR debutation?

Taylors been hinting at a lot of 2's lately. At her recent Miami concerts starting on NIGHT 2 she started playing Behind The Scenes footage never seen before from Karma, Bejeweled, I Can See You and Fortnight music videos. The first 3 being based around her recovering her stolen albums and Fortnight being the definition of 2 weeks. + In the song Fortnight she mentions "Til' nobody noticed my new aesthetic" her NEW aesthetic now, being she isn't using the TTPD photo grey-ish filter on her front cover photos on instagram? They are VERY colorful

(2 Albums, although could be Debut / Rep being the final to reclaim/ a debutation album drop, cause of them playing on night 1, pictures of taylor in her Taylor Swift (debut) era and baby Fearless era)

OR COULD reputation VAULT tracks be the link to the supposed karma / lost album. In her Time Magazine article she says the reputation vault tracks will be FIRE. The color of FIRE is Yellow/Orange.

****NOTE**** Taylor liked a post a while back where a fan called the stair case folkmore and the closet evermore, and maybe she's changed the thought behind the rooms since then? but during lover era, there was no folkmore or evermore.

posted oct 24 2024

@taylorswift

@taylornation

[antitheticalmidnights]

Swiftly Speaking: A Deep Dive Into Taylor’s Lyrics - "Fortnight"

Hello, and welcome to another review in the Swiftly Speaking series! Today, as promised, I'm going to dive into the deep lyrics of "Fortnight". Before I start, I'd like to point out that my intention is to analyze all the lyrics from TTPD. However, I also had want to take a few steps back and simultaneously explore the lyrics of folklore and evermore, the sister albums. Although it was released a few years ago and is already a finished project, I've been very immersed in the universe of folklore and evermore lately. I feel there is so much to be explored. But that's a conversation for another time.

Without further ado, let's get to it!

"Fortnight" (feat. Post Malone)

Oxford Languages Dictionary definition of fatalism fa·tal·ism noun: fatalism the belief that all events are predetermined and therefore inevitable.

"Fortnight is a song that I think really exhibits a lot of the common themes that run throughout this album. One of which being – fatalism. Longing, pining away, lost dreams. You know, I think that it’s a very fatalistic album in that there are lots of very dramatic lines about life or death and “I love you, it’s ruining my life” like these are very hyperbolic, dramatic things to say. But, it’s that kind of album. It’s about a – you know – dramatic, artistic, tragic kind of take on love and loss. And “Fortnight,” I’ve always imagined that it took place in this like, American town where, the American Dream you thought would happen [to you] didn’t. Like – you ended up not with the person that you loved, and now you have to just live with that every day. Wondering what would’ve been, maybe seeing them out… and that’s a pretty tragic concept, really. So I was just writing from that perspective."

— Taylor Swift via iHeartRadio album premiere

I want to remind you of the reference we made in "Hits Different", where Taylor sings: "I heard your key turn in the door down the hallway. Is that your key in the door? Is it okay? Is it you? Or have they come to take me away?". I find it interesting how she chose to open "Fortnight" with a similar narrative and atmosphere to Hits Different. Of course, if we take the idea of drunkenness and all that theatrical imagery of HD literally, it wouldn't fit in with "Fortnight", because even though the song starts with:

"I was supposed to be sent away But they forgot to come and get me I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody Noticed my new aesthetic"

Here we're talking about a different, more recent time, when Taylor had already left London and was back in the US. She is revisiting what has already happened.

It seems that Taylor plays with the idea that her move to London was something she chose to do in a situation of exteme necessity, not because she really wanted to go by her own desire. We know that she went there to get away from the hostile and inquisitorial atmosphere in which she was living around 2017 - and, of course, to live with her loved one. The opportunity came along at just the right time.

She says she feels forgotten, as if she'd been sent away but no one remembered to bring her back. This is a bit controversial, given her success with Lover, folklore and evermore, and later Midnights. We can look at this from an artistic and personal perspective. "Do people still miss me? Here, doing things in America, touring and stuff?"

The life and routine that we were previously unaware of and which, until then, seemed to be going well, is soon shattered when she reveals that she has become an alcoholic.

In matter of fact, the term "functioning alcoholic" is recognized by the medical community as a real problem. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, its literal meaning is someone who can behave, work, and live in a way that seems normal despite being addicted to (= unable to stop using too much of) alcohol, drugs, etc. In this sense, Taylor may indeed be talking about alcohol itself, but also something metaphorically like a narcotic to ease the daily pain. It could be a person, perhaps? I think it's delicate to approach this topic and infer something about Taylor's personal life. But she chose to put it in the first part of the album, so something she wants to tell us. And imo, she wants to tell that her body is working, doing things; she is writing, creating, but her head is elsewhere - in lunar valleys and secret gardens in her mind.

I think it's great that the song starts like this. It's an introduction to what she wants to show us. As if to say: "Hey, it seems like I've been out of the American spotlight for a while, but here I am, vulnerable, extremely resentful and sad, but with a new me ready to share what these last two years have been about."

"All of this to say: I hope you're okay But you're the reason And no one here's to blame But what about your quiet treason?”

All this that she presents, we realize, is not just for us, but for a specific interlocutor too. Once again, she points the finger and says that this person is the reason. And no one was there to see or follow what really happened. It was a quiet, silence treason. But what happened is big, but SO big, that you don't need an audience to judge. This mistake is big enough for the person to feel guilty alone.

“And for a fortnight, there we were, forever Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather Now, you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her”

I particularly find this chorus one of the most emblematic of Taylor's career, although it's not that difficult to break it down.

First of all, we should consider that fortnight is a term used more commonly in the UK than in the US. So, we know that there is still reference to that country that she left. Fortnight literally means 14 days. That's a relatively short time if you think about it. So we can think that she is definitely talking about a love affair.

As a Taylor fan, I know that she watches a lot of movies and series and draws a lot of inspiration from culture in general when writing her songs. The context and story told in "Fortnight" drew my attention particularly to a specific series called "Love And Death", starring Elizabeth Olsen (who is known to be a big Taylor fan).

"Love and Death" is a crime drama series that delves into the shocking true story of Candy Montgomery, a Texas housewife who became the prime suspect in the brutal 1980 murder of her friend, Betty Gore.

(Note: Taylor actually mentioned that she imagines this story taking place in an American town.)

The series explores the seemingly idyllic suburban lives of Candy and Betty, who are active members of the same church community. However, beneath the surface, tensions brew as Candy embarks on a secret affair with Betty's husband, Allan Gore. The affair begins innocently enough, with Candy and Allan feeling unfulfilled in their respective marriages. They agree to keep their relationship purely physical, carefully planning their secret rendezvous. But as time passes, the emotional complexities of the affair begin to unravel their lives. Candy becomes increasingly obsessed with Allan, while Allan struggles with guilt and the growing strain on his marriage to Betty. The affair eventually comes to light, and on the morning of June 13, 1980, Betty confronts Candy about the affair in her home, leading to a violent death. Candy kills Betty.

Taylor later revealed what inspired "Fortnight" saying "I think that it's a very fatalistic album in that there are lots of very dramatic lines about LIFE OR DEATH." Boom! Almost the name of the series that has a story extremely similar to the theme explored in the song.

Putting that possible reference aside, we can now really see that the lyrical self puts herself in the position of a traitor. She sees her neighbor - someone close to her, but not so close as to be intimate - in a different way. She envies the wife of the character in the story, and also shows a desire to kill her. In fact, there is a "stable" relationship in which the character finds herself; she wants this distant person, but she can't because there is a lack of morality involved in the betrayal.

“All my mornings are Mondays Stuck in an endless February I took the miracle move-on drug The effects were temporary”

Here we can identify an almost immediate link with "Paper Rings": "I want your dreary Mondays". She wasn't just showing that she accepted him as he was, that she would embrace the whole package. She WANTED him, even in the bluest days. But now, it's all consumed her so much that her mornings are stuck on those Mondays. As if every day were dreary.

"Endless february" may have been a reference to the movie "Groundhod Dog", starring the brilliant Bill Murray. The plot is basically that the character is an arrogant weatherman for a television channel, who gets trapped in a kind of time tunnel, condemned to relive the same day indefinitely until he changes his attitudes. That day would be February 2nd. So every day repeats itself over and over again, in an endless february.

Moreover, we can also consider that February is a month often seen as rather depressing for Americans, despite the Valentine's Day holiday (and also, the 21st is J's birthday). The weather is still cold, and the lingering sense of the holiday season remains —January used to be enchanting, after all, Christmas lights were still up, as that was their place, and they made the rules. And although it's the shortest month of the year, it can feel like the longest for those nursing a broken heart.

The idea of the narcotic that anesthetizes the lyrical self's pain is brought up again here. And we can think that the miracle drug is this other person she fantasizes about. She took this drug to ease the pain of her current relationship. The effects, however, were temporary.

And I love you, it's ruining my life (I love you, it's ruining my life) I touched you for only a fortnight (I touched you), but I touched you

And then comes the hyperbolic and dramatic line that Taylor herself emphasized in her interview. She intentionally wanted to make it dramatic, based on the premise that the album is fatalistic. It's about long pining away, tragic artistic drama. Hence, the striking antithesis.

What’s most interesting is the exchange of verses with Post Malone, where he guides as the second person. She states that she touched him, he also claims that he touched her, and she reinforces with a "BUT" that she did, indeed, touch him. It's as if the action originated from her from the very beginning.

“And for a fortnight, there we were, forever Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather Now, you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors Your wife waters flowers, I wanna hill her And for a fortnight, there we were together Run into you sometimes, comment on my sweater Now, you're at the mailbox, turned into good neighbors My husband is cheating, I wanna kill him”

Here she repeats the first chorus and adds the second, cleverly changing a few words. Notice that "forever" has been changed to "together". There is no more forever between this couple. Before, the neighbor was in his "backyard", now he's closer to her "mailbox".

And finally, she ends with the fatalistic line that she's a traitor for only thinking about it, but the partner she's with it's not just thinking, he's really cheating on her and she wants to kill him too.

If there is a moral, it is that no one is literally right. These two love elements have their contradictions, their fantasies, their own thoughts, and an obvious indication that things are not going well.

“Thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up ‘Nother fortnight lost in America Move to Florida, buy the car you want But it won't start up till you touch, touch, touch me Thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up ‘Nother fortnight lost in America Move to Florida, buy the car you want But it won't start up till I touch, touch, touch you”

Then comes the ending. I want to emphasize here that America in the concept of the whole album seems to be a place of relief, of refuge, of freedom. And Florida, especially this state, Taylor mentions is a place where fugitives seek refuge, a land where no one knows anyone, a place of new beginnings. Cars, on this way, are used by Taylor as objects of escape too. "Getaway Car" is a great example, literally recounting the escape from a relationship. Not just in this song, but in passages like "I was riding in the car when we both fell" x "It's 2 AM in your car, windows down, you pass my street, the memories start" x "Remember when I pulled up and said, "Get in the car""

Buying the car you want is a metaphor for a person. Like, "find the love of your life and go, go to a place where there is freedom, where you can love each other."

However, this won't happen until it's off the page and into the real world. In the end, we realize that all this is going on in the lyrical self's head. The whole story that she touched him first, that she set the ball rolling, is a plot that she imagines as well as in "Guilty As Sin?", maybe.

The song is perfect to open the album, as it touches on all the themes she will eventually deal with throughout TTPD. Suffering, forbidden dreams, fantasy, separation, the pain of lost love, love and death.

Although this is a review specifically of the song itself. I'd like to point out that it's the only TTPD single to have a music video. The cinematography is absurdly beautiful and impeccable. Taylor chose to use elements that could reproduce a mental health treatment facility, as well as a department of tortured poets. It features Post Malone, and I think Taylor really wanted to summed up the concept of the era precisely as we see on behind the scenes how perfectionist she is about the acting and the whole concept. The asylum in this MV talks to Fortnight, bringing this somewhat schizophrenic illusion of an invention of reality. There are old-fashioned shock treatments being used on her, as if she were being considered a patient. The environment in which she and Post play is dark, stuffy and damp. Is this a possible reference to London?

------------------------------------------------------

I hope you enjoyed this analysis. It was extremely long, but I think I managed to capture the whole idea that this rich song brings to us.

See you next time!

- L.