#and the source of many bisexual awakenings

[effervescible]

The other day a friend on plurk posted a meme asking what fandom ship changed your brain chemistry and how, and of course I was like "Mulder/Scully" because obviously, and then it was like my third eye opened because I realized the trope of "two very competent people who are also very different must partner up and come to respect the hell out of each other and get shit done" applies to like Every God Damn Fandom I've been in since, and is often WHY I lean toward one particular pairing over others.

Trigun. The Buffyverse at large. Numerous comic book lines. Bleach. Assassin's Creed. Kingdom Hearts. Uncharted. Shadowhunters. Overwatch a little bit. Dresden Files. ATLA. Graceling. It's there, it's always fucking there, and it shouldn't be surprising but I am still kind of laughing at myself because wow I just imprinted on that dynamic like a helpless baby bunny didn't I.

[theinfinitedivides]

the Women's National Hockey Team in Chak De! India is a sapphics dream and i say that with every f*cking thing in me

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

ICYMI: There are so many Japanese qls airing weekly, so I’m going to start posting this little round up at the end of each week. Most of these shows are on Gaga and I highly recommend watching!

Chaser Game W

We've reached the stage with this one where I'm just gonna say we should keep watching for the ratings and enjoy the pretty gifs.

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna 2

I got to watch episodes 5-8 of the new season this week, and I promptly lost my mind over how good this show is. It somehow got even better between seasons; the creators have some things to say about the experiences of women under heterosexual patriarchy. I already wrote about Kasuga's family trauma storyline and how much it meant to me, but these episodes also gave us Nomoto's ongoing queer awakening and journey to define her sexuality, the introduction of a new queer bestie in Yako, a better understanding of Nagumo and the careful and steady deepening of her relationship with the gals, a new confidant for Kasgua in Fujita, and Nomoto and Kasuga inching ever closer to defining what they are to each other. The world of the show and the support network around our leads continues to expand, and I am loving every moment. This drama is excellent and I cannot implore you enough to go to @furritsubs and catch up.

My Strawberry Film

Kicking off the last Drama Shower show of the season! This is a high school story featuring a classic trio—the Pining Gay, the Chaos Bisexual, and the Budding Lesbian. Obviously, I love them. I like the mood of this one—it's quite a tonal shift from the last show in this series—and the color grading is blue, blue, blue. And there's a mystery afoot as they try to track down the beautiful girl captured on film. Looking forward to more!

Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka

I continue to love this show, though I am not entirely sure how I feel about the turn things took with Mizuki this week. I did not really want this to go the full blown love triangle route; I am more interested in a version of this story where Sakae and Soga try to figure out these adult complications from the foundation of being in a relationship, not with the constant interference of a third party. So few dramas are willing to get the couple together early and let them face things together rather than constantly playing the will they, won't they game, and I was hoping Sukidoya was going to be one of them. That said, I like that Mizuki is sticking around in the story because he's an interesting character, and I like the conflict with Soga's job (we have a preponderance of Japanese shows about unreasonable work conditions airing atm) and the temporary nature of his time in Osaka. That he's worried about eventually leaving tells you all you need to know about how much he likes and respects Sakae. If he felt casual about him he would not be worried about complications that far down the timeline. Let's see where they take this love triangle thing next week; I'm hoping it will be brief.

Perfect Propose

Great episode this week, and I love the way they continue to deepen the backstory for these two. Hiro being the first person to need Kai rather than pity him makes so much sense for their dynamic and why Kai would be so attached to him. And of course, when Kai returns the situation is the same; Hiro definitely still needs him. I love that they took a source of shame for Hiro and turned it into a reason why he and Kai are so compatible. Kai wants to take care of him—and he's not the only one! Loved seeing Hiro's coworkers express concern for his well-being and recognize how this job is grinding him down and breaking his spirit. It was so validating to hear from another high performer that the job is miserable and he should quit. It has nothing to do with failure; as Kaneko said, it's about seeking the life he truly wants. He sees Hiro's talent and knows he will not be able to flourish in this hellish work environment, and I thought it was so kind and compassionate of him to try to help Hiro see that. Also shoutout to Hiyori for sitting her ass back down and missing the last train when she realized prime gossip was about to arrive to her table, she's just like me fr.

Ossan's Love Returns

We are clearly in the drama spiral for the season now, and this show seems to be coming for my beloved Kurosawa. Thanks, I hate it! But the show found its humor again this week even as the sad plotlines for the side characters continued, and I was very happy to see it back in top form. I loved this story with Maki and Haruta caring for Goro for the week, and how it affirmed for them that they are actually not interested in having children. I told @bengiyo and @twig-tea when we saw last week's preview that Maki seemed like the type who wouldn't like children, and I was glad to see that affirmed by the show, and crucially, that he didn't change his mind via the power of Goro's cuteness. Not all people want to be parents, and it's so nice and refreshing to see a loving couple decide they just want to focus on each other, and that you can like kids and spend time with them without needing to have one of your own. I loved, too, that we got some focus on Chizu's struggles as a single mom, and her family rallied around her and made it clear she has support. Takegawa's sudden not-at-all-selfishly-motivated interest in polyamory was hilarious, as was Chief's journey to figure out what was causing his stress—until it wasn't, of course. I was glad Chuoko was with him when he got the news. And I am really hoping that rooftop kiss was Kiku's goodbye, and we will be seeing him move on from Izumi soon.

Bonus: Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai 

Shoutout to @my-rose-tinted-glasses for giffing this show and reminding me I still hadn't seen it! It was not accessible to me back when it came out and it fell off my radar for awhile. I watched today and thought it was just delightful. A short, sweet, warm hug of a friends to lovers high school bl with two very lovable leads. I highly recommend checking it out.

[chervbs]

i was made for loving you — e. munson

pairings: eddie munson x jade west!reader

word count: 5k

synopsis: you’re the new kid at hawkins high-goth, intimidating;a true femme fatale incarnate. and eddie munson is undoubtedly smitten. 

warnings: fem!reader, jade west is not meant to be an oc/faceclaim just inspiration for the readers personality therefore reader is kind of rude to all characters including eddie, you probably won’t understand this as well if you haven’t watched victorious, kind of love at first sight but its really just eddie being dramatic, reader is hot and she knows it, slight sexual implications (blink and you’ll miss it), mediocre writing, fluff!

a/n: jade west was one of my many bisexual awakenings and i’ve always wanted to write something with a character inspired by her. like I said in the warnings, this may not make as much sense if you haven’t seen victorious but its still readable! also pls pls pls send requests/concepts about jade west!reader because I wanna write more of her so badly! as always, feedback is treating appreciated <3

navigation

Eddie had noticed the murmurs as soon as he stepped into the school, just in time for his third period. 

He was trying to be better this year, he really was, but his late night smoke session the night before had relaxed a little too much, and he’d slept right through his alarm clock. Eddie only woke up once Wayne got home at around 8, yelling at his nephew to get his ass up and to school unless he wanted to go through a fourth senior year. The threat was enough to get him out of bed, stumbling as he attempted to put his white reeboks on while simultaneously hopping into his van. 

Now, strolling down the hallway to his locker, trusty black “lunch” tin in his hands, he realized he forgot to grab his denim vest from the backseat where he’d haphazardly thrown it the day before. He groaned and glanced at his watch-9:27, three minutes before he had to be in English. He could risk being a couple minutes late.

Eddie, ignoring the usual dirty looks he received from his peers by just existing, pivoted on his heels, making his way back out to the parking lot. It was then that he initially noticed the whispers as people emerged from the front doors of the school.

Now, Eddie was very much used to such things in his wake, however, these weren’t for him. As he neared the exit, he noticed all of the students that were whispering were also pointing outside. Letting his curiosity get the best of him, Eddie sped up his steps, eyes squinting as he adjusting to the sunlight and looking around for the source of the gossip. 

It didn’t take long to find you–you stuck out like a sore thumb. 

In your hair were streaks of blue and purple jewel tones, a tight fitting black top that did wonders for your chest, a black skirt that Eddie was sure was far too short for school. Your shapely legs were encased with black fishnets and as his eyes traveled further down your figure, knee high black boots that had silver buckles running down the length of them and a platform that added a good couple of inches to your height sat on your feet. 

Murmurs of gossip followed you as you weaved through the parking lot, but Eddie was frozen in his place, certain he’d just seen an angel. An angel clad in all black–a demon, maybe? Either way, he was entranced. 

It wasn’t until he realized that you were heading straight towards him that he snapped out of his stupor. He had to say something–introduce himself, right? Eddie could feel his heart racing as you came closer to reaching him. What should he say? And–oh god, you were even prettier close up–

“Hi!” He didn’t even realize he blurted the word out until his ears picked up on it a few seconds too late. 

Your steps never faltered as you passed him, but he did see your eyes rake over his figure, the corner of your lips lifting into a smirk. “Interesting.” You muttered, just loud enough for him to hear. 

By then, Eddie’s mission to retrieve his vest had long since been forgotten. It wasn’t until the bell rang that the metal head realized he was stood frozen at the entrance, the other kids around him sending him weird looks. He practically floated to his next two classes, little images of you occupying his every thought. 

Eddie didn’t even realize he’d left his class until he landed on the hard plastic of the cafeteria seats. The rest of the Hellfire Club was already seated, heads snapping to attention at their dungeon masters abrupt appearance. They were all quick to notice his dazed expression, Gareth taking the initiative to snap his fingers in front of his face. 

“Yo, Eddie? You okay, man?”. 

He did seem to return back to reality, but the dopey smile on his face stayed put. “Gentlemen,” He spoke indirectly. “I’m in love.” 

The boys perked up in interest. “In love? With who?” Dustin asked, nearly pushing his lunch tray aside. 

Eddie didn’t get the chance to answer before a hush fell over the hoard of students in the cafeteria. They didn’t know why until Eddie heard the tell tale sound of your boots hitting the floor, the whispers as murmurs picking back up as you passed by. 

He could see the moments his friends also laid eyes on you, jaws falling slack as the girl of all of their little metal head dreams walked in. Eddie couldn’t help but smirk. 

“With her.” He grinned. He couldn’t take his eyes off you as you walked right up to the lunch line, the queue of teenagers parting for you like the Red Sea. Not a single person protested as you skipped in front of all of them, paying for your lunch without a care in the world. 

They watched you make your way down the middle of the rows of tables, only stopping once a letterman clad arm flung itself across your shoulders. 

You tensed, eyes narrowing in anger. Jason Carver gave you what you assumed he thought was a charming smirk, jerking his head in greeting. “Hi, there. You’re new, right?” 

You glared at arm and then moved your gaze to his. “Hand. Off.”

Jason’s grin faltered, but he was quick to recover. “Oh, c’mon, new girl. Don’t be like that. Why don’t you come sit with me and my buddies, huh?” He spoke while bring his free hand to your other shoulder, attempting to steer you towards his table.

“I would rather slam my tongue in a car door.” You replied monotonously. “And if you don’t get your hands off me in the next two seconds, you won’t have hands.”

The jock seemed to finally realize that you were not going to be relenting anytime soon and scoffed. “Whatever. You don’t have to be such a–“

Jason cut himself off, realizing your glare on him had become deadly and you were practically white knuckling the tray of food in your hands. You tilted your head challengingly. “A what? Do you wanna finish that sentence?”

He clenched his jaw, the only thing keeping the blonde teen from cowering in front of his peers being his pride. Clearly his throat, he stepped away, hands raising in surrender and returning to his table with his tail between his legs. 

You hummed in satisfaction, resuming your search for a table to sit at. Most new kids would probably find an empty table or maybe even a group of friendly enough looking kids to sit with. You, however, refused to let anyone think you were some kind of loser. 

Finally your eyes landed on a table full of boys. They all wore variations of black clothing, save for the three younger looking ones who had a bit more color on them. Each had on matching white shirts with words you couldn’t read from your spot and a cartoon demon on them. You grew curious, especially after you realized the boy at the head of the table was the one you’d seen this morning. 

You remember him standing at the entrance of the school, looking at you like a kid in a candy store. He was quite cute, clad in leather with an attractively disheveled look to him. 

Making your decision, you changed course to the group of boys who’d all been previously looking at your until they realized you were staring back, wide eyes shifting to their food. 

It’s clear they were a tad bit frightened, none of them looking up to acknowledge your presence when you stopped behind them. Rolling your eyes, you loudly cleared your throat, making them jump in their seats. 

“H-hi.” The supposed leader of them spoke, looking just as flustered as his did that morning. “What, um–what can we do for you?” 

“I’m gonna sit here.” You announced, glancing down at the blonde boy with curly hair in front of you. “Move over.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He squeaked, shoving at the boy next to him until they had both scooted over a seat. 

The spot allowed you to sit next to the long haired boy from that morning. He kept stealing quick glances at you, the skin on his cheeks shifting from ivory to red at your burning gaze. 

“Um…m-miss?” Your head snapped to the boy in front of you, curly brunette hair and slightly tan skin clad in a colorful cap and the same shirt as his friends, which you could now see read Hellfire Club. 

“It’s Y/N.” You corrected. 

The boy visibly gulped. “Right. Y/N. Its um-it’s great to meet you, really. And not that we mind you sitting with us–we really don’t!” He almost yelled, startling when you narrowed your eyes at him. “But, w-why…are you sitting with us?” He asked in a high voice. 

You popped one of the french fries from your plate into your mouth. “You losers seem like the coolest people here.” 

The oxymoron wasn’t lost on them, but they were admittedly too frightened to point it out.

“What’s hellfire club?” You asked, pointing your black painted fingernail at their shirts. 

“It’s a DnD club.” The long haired boy spoke up. There was a tremble in his voice. “Dungeons and Dragons? Ever h-heard of it?”

The beginnings of your eyebrows moved closer together, the fire in your gaze making Eddie feel simultaneously afraid and a little turned on. “Do I look like a nerd to you?”

His eyes widened a bit, the depth of his brown eyes making him resembled a baby cow. “No, of course not! You look like the exact opposite of a nerd, in fact! You’re like the coolest person i’ve ever seen!” 

The other boys had never seen Eddie act so flustered, yet they couldn’t blame him. Your presence alone was enough to bring a grown man to his knees, that much was evident. Eddie looked about three seconds away from passing out and they were sure he was already willing to bend to your will. 

You only tilted your head curiously at the boy. There was no one at your old school that seemed to be as affected as this guy was. Even your ex boyfriend, who swore up and down that he was in love with you, never had the same twinkle in his eye as the cute metal head in front of you. 

“What’s you’re name?”

If you gave credit where credit was due, the boy never broke his stare from yours. That also never happened. You were surprised at how much you enjoyed it.

He perked up, a little grin forming. “Eddie.” You raised your eyebrows. “Munson! Eddie Munson.” He added breathlessly. 

The deep berry shade painted on your lips was so alluring that Eddie was practically leaning forward. The younger boys in Hellfire were half surprised he wasn’t drooling.

“I like you, Eddie Munson.” You nodded at your own words, going back to eating your lunch nonchalantly. 

Oh yeah. Eddie thought. In love was an understatement. 

-

“You’re in a band?”

Eddie jumped, startled by your voice. He’d made an offhand comment at lunch that Hellfire was held in the Drama Club room, but he hadn’t actually expected you to show up. 

You weren’t even sure why you had, truthfully. Maybe it was the his big, chocolate doe eyes, or the way he looked at you like you were sent from heaven, despite the fact that not only had you only had a couple of conversations, but also that you were as far from an angel as anyone could possibly be. 

And, maybe, because you had no friends. 

Getting ripped from your old school where you were comfortable with your group of friends was difficult, not that you’d ever let it be known. This little group of misfit kids already looked at you like you were their savior, so you feel it’s justified to claim them as your new friends. And you weren’t too concerned about their low position in the social hierarchy of Hawkins–you had enough of a social standing to keep their heads above the water.

You were facing the wall adjacent to the door, staring at one of the many handmade posters throughout the school that read CORRODED COFFIN. There was a picture of Eddie, Gareth, Jeff and Kevin, all posed with their respective instruments and smaller letters at the bottom saying to go see them Tuesdays at The Hideout. 

“Uh-yeah. Me and some of the guys from Hellfire you met the other day. Jeff, Gareth and Kev.” He explained, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. Eddie couldn’t fathom why he was feeling embarrassed right now-as if your approval of his band would make or break anything. 

You let your lips form a tiny smirk, looking over your shoulder at him. “Sick name.”

Eddie could feel his heart skip, heat rushing back to his cheeks. “T-thanks. Came up with it myself.” He chuckled. “We actually play at the Hideout on Tuesdays.” 

He noticed your eyebrow raised expectantly. “The Hideout! It’s a bar just outside of town. The crowds not that big, but you gotta start somewhere, right?”

You hummed in agreement, strolling over to where he was setting up the table. Eddie’s breath hitched as you stopped next to him, standing so close that he could smell your vanilla perfume, almost making him lightheaded.  Did you even have a clue of what you were doing to him?

Of course, you did. You’d been trying to get Eddie to take the hint that you were into him for the past week. Five whole days of lingering touches, sultry stares and being extra pleasant just to see his cheeks and the tips of his ears turn red.

You bent over the table to pluck one of the little figures from the game board, ensuring that you back was perfectly straight to feed fuel to Eddie’s fantasies. 

Judging by the nearly inaudible groan that escaped him, you’d say you were successful.

“What are these?” You allow the tone of your voice to drop an octave, the sound more alluring than Eddie could handle. 

His brain seems to short circuit for a second, glazed over eyes staring back at you blankly, jaw hanging open slightly. Smirking, your lift a finger, pushing up the bottom of his chin until his lips met. The action seemed to pull him back into reality, clearing his throat once he realized what he opened. 

“Tho-those? Those are-um…figurines! I made them for my campaign.” He choked out, backing up a little. “Helps the players feel more immersed into the story.” 

You held the little figure out for him to grab, making sure to graze your fingers against his palm as you gave it to him. A shiver visibly went down his spine. 

“I gotta get going.” You inform, already making your way to the door. 

Eddie chased you a few steps. “Wait! Are you sure you have to go? You can always stay and watch us play. Or we can teach you and you can join our next campaign.”

You’d never admit how much the offer warmed your heart. The boys were sweet-Eddie even sweeter. It’s like you could feel them slowly taking an ice pick to your frozen heart. 

“No can do.” You tsked. “I have an audition to get to.” 

Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed under his curly fringe. “Audition? For what?” 

“Spring musical.” You shrugged. 

You could almost feel the surprised wafting off of Eddie. “Really?” He asked incredulously. “Didn’t really peg you for a theatre type.”

A chuckle left your lips. “Well, I’m a woman of many talents, Eddie. And you don’t know me.” You reminded him, trying not to let the assumption upset you. 

The culture shock of moving from a performing arts high school in Los Angeles to a normal high school in the middle of nowhere Indiana was truly jarring. Not only were peoples differences accepted back home, but they were encouraged. It didn’t matter what you looked like or what your interests were as long as you weren’t hurting anyone. 

You’d possessed a gift for the performing arts since you were a kid, so it was a no brainer for your parents to enroll you into a performing arts high school, despite it being an hour drive. Your mother just wanted was your best for you and your father wanted what was best for your families reputation. 

They’d split up halfway through your sophomore year, and while your father still sent monthly checks to help pay for school fees, your mother was struggling to pay the rent for your new two bedroom house. 

She’d always wanted you to be successful when you got older especially after the divorce. Having to depend on someone else just to live was fine and dandy until you were kicked to the curb, left to fend for yourself with only a couple thousand dollars to your name. 

Your incident at school only gave your mother a reason to leave California, choosing instead to move to Hawkins which had both a few family members and a lower cost of living. 

Eddie’s chin dropped as he grinned at the floor. “Guess you’re right about that one. We could change that?”

Both of you seemed equally surprised at the suaveness of his offer and the fact that he got through it without stuttering. 

You smirked. “We could. Not tonight.”

The heavy steps of your boots echoed as you made your way out of the room, Eddie left to watch your hips sway with flushed cheeks and a racing heart.

-

You were becoming impatient. 

Two weeks had gone by and yet Eddie still hadn’t made a move. It was a bit infuriating, to say the least. You were practically always all over him, and while it was obvious he welcomed the attention, he still hadn’t gotten passed being flustered. 

You really didn’t know what else to do, never having been in this situation before. 

You didn’t ask people out, people asked you. With past boyfriends, they’d ask you out within a couple of days if you showing interest. But you’d met Eddie’s friends, you’d attended both Hellfire meetings and Corroded Coffin shows, he practically melted into the floor anytime you said his name. What was holding him back?

These questions were constantly on your mind, especially during times like these, when you walked through the school hallways together, so close that your knuckles grazed his as you walked. 

Eddie and you share a fifth period, as you discovered on that fateful first day. You’re nearly to the classroom when you both spot a crowd forming in the middle of the hallway, murmurs of ‘cheerleaders’ and ‘hellfire freaks’. It’s enough to send you stomping towards them.

Sure enough, once you’ve shoved your way past the crowd, you spot a trio of cheerleaders cornering Dustin and Mike against the row of lockers. There’s a singular jock standing a few feet away and it takes you a second to realize he’s holding back Lucas by his biceps. 

You don’t bother to listen to what the main cheerleader is cackling about before you slide yourself in between her and the freshman. 

“Hello.” You interject. Her face calls for a second and you detect a bit of fear before she sticks up her chin with feigned indifference. 

“Hi!” She grins back, like she hadn’t just been terrorizing a couple of fourteen year olds. “You’re the new girl, right? I’m Victoria.”

You smirk back and introduce yourself, reveling in the way her cronies seem to tremble in your presence. Even the jock had let go of Lucas, though neither of them moved. 

“What seems to be the problem here?” You asked politely. You heard Eddie snicker. 

“Oh, nothing really.” She replied, waving her hand dismissively. “Just had to remind the freshman of their place. You get it, right?”

You had no doubt that the confrontation stemmed from a smart remark by Dustin, maybe even Mike. But you’d taken Eddie and his band of losers under your wing, and you were nothing if not loyal. 

“Can I just say,” You ignore her question. “You’re really pretty.”

She seemed surprised, but still held a hand to her heart like it was the sweetest compliment she’d ever received. “Oh, my gosh, really? Thanks.” 

It didn’t escape you that she hadn’t bothered to return the compliment, not that you needed it. “Totally. And your hair is just so nice.” You say, gesturing to her long, clearly unnatural, blonde ponytail. “It would really be a shame if something happened to it, huh?”

Her face fell. “What?”

“Yeah. Like if someone, I don’t know, took a pair of scissors and just-“ You made a cutting motion with your fingers. “Chopped it all off.” 

Victoria scowled, suddenly realizing the insincerity of your kindness. “Are you threatening me?”

You tilted your head to the side, shrugging. “Do I need to be?” 

The cheerleader huffed. “Look. I don’t know what your problem is-“

“Oh, don’t worry. We’re getting there.” You assure. “You’re gonna leave these boys alone. Do you understand me?“ 

Victoria scoffed, looking back to her friends for help. One of them had witnessed your collection of scissors after asking you for a pencil. She rapidly shook her head at her friend. 

“And what’s gonna happen if I don’t?” She challenged. The roll of your eyes was almost involuntary.

“Oh, my god.” You groaned. “Did you not just hear me? Did all that bleach in your hair burn the little brain cells you had?” Your face neared hers threateningly. Her eyes widened in fear and you could hear her breathing pick up. “Leave these kids alone, or I will be forced to make good on my promise. Do you understand me?” 

She hesitantly nodded. “Good. Now get out of my face.” She seemed frozen in her spot. “Now!” Your voice boomed, startling everyone in the crowd that had gathered around you. Christina sprinted away, her friends not far behind her. 

You sighed. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before class.” You turn to Eddie, amusingly aware of the dazed look in his eyes as he stared at you. “I’ll meet you in there?” 

You were walking away before Eddie could respond. 

Eddie, along with Dustin, Lucas and Mike watched as you glided away, mouths hung open and hearts in their eyes. 

“Eddie?” The metal head responded with a half-assed noise of acknowledgment. “If you don’t make a move, I will.” Dustin said.

“Not a chance, Henderson.”

-

Eddie didn’t think his day could get any worse. 

He’d already bombed his history test, forgotten his money for lunch, had chocolate milk spilled on his shirt, and now his piece of shit van wasn’t starting. 

Wayne had been telling him for days to go to the garage to get it looked at after Eddie told him it had been taking a few seconds too long to start up. His uncle had worked there before leaving to work at the plant, but they still gave the Munson’s discounts whenever they came in. 

But Eddie had been swamped with homework and his new campaign for Hellfire, and it had just slipped his mind. 

Unfortunately, there would be no time for another reminder as his engine pitifully sputtered before eventually shutting down. 

“Shit!” Eddie cursed, slamming his hands down on the steering wheel angrily. 

He would call the garage to come tow the van, but he didn’t know the number by heart. He’d stayed after school for mandatory tutoring forced upon him by the counselor, so it was well passed 6. 

Wayne had probably already left for work, which left Eddie to try and think of literally anyone’s number until he found someone who could pick him up. 

Eddie begrudgingly left the van, dragging his feet to the schools outside phone. He only made it about halfway when he heard the double doors open. He was surprised to see you walk out, and he made his surprise known by calling out your name. 

“Y/N?” 

Your head shot up, eyebrows furrowing when you realized it was him. “Eddie? What are still doing here?”

“Uh,” He chuckled a little, kicking a bit of gravel. “I had to stay after for tutoring, and now my van won’t start, so…” He glanced up, clearing his throat. You were gazing at him with an unreadable look in your eyes, and it was difficult for him not to squirm. “What-um…what are you doing here so late?”

You pointed your thumb behind you, gesturing to the doors that a few other students were now exiting. “Callbacks.” 

“Oh, yeah! You had auditions the other day.” He grinned, snapping his fingers in recognition. 

You couldn’t help the way your lips turned up, not in a smirk, but a genuine show of bashfulness. You’d be lying if you said Eddie’s presence was beginning to have an affect on you as well. At first it was just nice to have someone so blatantly infatuated with you, but it wasn’t long before you realized just how easy it was to enjoy everything about Eddie. 

He was sweet, even when you couldn’t help but snap and say something rude or defensive. Old habits die hard and your abandonment issues made some of them even harder to shake. Still, Eddie never even flinched, and in just a few weeks of knowing each other, he’d easily figured out exactly what to say to calm you down. 

Eddie was also deeply misunderstood, which you connected with on a deeper level that most even knew. When you claimed the Hellfire boys as your new friends, you were none the wiser of the rumors of them being a satanic cult. It wasn’t until later that same day that you heard it for the first time and you almost laughed out loud. None of those boys had the capability to hurt even a fly, much less perform a human sacrifice. 

“What was the musical again?” He asked, rocking back and forth on his heels.

You chuckled, “Grease.” Neither of you realized that you had both subconsciously moved closer to each other. 

“Right! You make it in?” Eddie had yet to hear you sing, but he had a feeling you were most likely extremely talented. You just had that air about you-something he could recognize as a musician himself. 

He was slightly surprised to see a genuine smile appear on your face. “Yeah,” You replied, your heeled left foot crossing over your right to hold your weight. “Rizzo.”

Eddie nodded but you could see the bit of confusion swimming in his eyes. Not shocking–Eddie didn’t really seem like the type to enjoy musical theater.  

“You have no idea what I’m talking about.” The words came out more like a statement than a question and the two of you laughed a little. The sound that you made nearly made his knees buckle.

“Honestly, no.” Eddie grinned. The little scrunch of his nose and the flush across his cheeks sent a funny feeling floating through your tummy. “But I have no doubt you deserve the role more than anyone. And I can’t wait to watch.”

The amused expression hadn’t left your face and you lowered your chin, eyes slightly narrowed. “You would willingly go watch a school musical?”

Eddie shrugged nonchalantly. “If you’re in it? ‘Course. I wouldn’t miss that for the world.”

In that moment, it was like a switch flipped in your brain. From the outside, Eddie couldn’t tell that there were a million thoughts swarming around in your brain. Suddenly, any morsel of patience you had left waiting for Eddie to make a move vanished. 

“You said your van won’t start?” He looked a little confused at the subject change, but nodded regardless. 

“Yeah, that’s what I came over here for.” Eddie told you, pointing back at the schools phone. “Was gonna call someone to come get me.” 

You silently weighed your options, before making a decision.

“I could give you a ride.” You said, eyes peering at Eddie with thinly veiled mischief. 

Eddie’s eyebrows raised and he smiled in surprise. “Really? Yeah, that would be great, thanks.” He hoped he didn’t look as nervous to be in a small, enclosed space alone with you, even for just the few minutes it would take to get to the trailer park. 

He followed you to your car, hesitating a bit to climb into the passenger seat. The first couple minutes of the ride were silent, but not uncomfortable, until he spoke up. “I can get you some gas money. Just need to do a few more sales.”

You frowned and shook your head, waving a dismissive hand at him. “You don’t need to do that. I offered to give you a ride, I don’t need gas money.” 

Eddie opened his mouth to respond when you suddenly pulled over to the side of the road. “What are you doing?”

“Speaking of gas.” You say, calm as ever. “Looks like we’re out.”

Eddie looked a little panicked and instinctively glanced at the dashboard. His eyebrows furrowed. “The gauge says you have a full tank.”

“Yeah, try not to talk.”

He didn’t have time to even be confused before he felt your hand grasp his chin, pulling his face towards you and pressing your lips to his. A moan of surprise came from the back of his throat, but his lips were quick to move against yours. 

Eddie reluctantly pried himself away, breathing heavily. “I-I’m sorry. Not that I’m like, complaining-because I’m not at all, trust me-but wha-what is happening right now?”

Your thumb softly stroked against where it rested on his cheek. “I’m kissing you, Eddie.”

The metal head nodded rapidly in agreement. “Yeah, yeah, no, I get that.” His hand raised to wind around your wrist. “I’m just-uh…” His chest still raised and fell, lips swollen and tinted with your burgundy lipstick. “Just a little confused, I guess.” 

You pressed another searing kiss to his lips before you answered. “I like you Eddie. And know you like me too. I was just tired of waiting for you to make a move.”

Eddie was the one to initiate the next kiss, scooting as close as possible to the center console to lean into you. 

You let him pul away briefly, “I’m really sorry about that-“ Kiss. He whimpered. “-I gotta say, though-“ Kiss. “-I’m kinda glad-“ Kiss. “You had to make the first move.” 

A content hum left your throat. “Me too.”

general taglist: @teenwolfbitches28 | @thethreeheadeddragon | @Cerbythepuppy

stranger things taglist: @m-rae23 | @mulletmcghee | @wh0reforbucknasty | @tatestripedsweater | @steveslittlefreak

strike throughs means tumblr won't let me tag you :(

add yourself to my taglist!

[bengiyo]

Theory of Love Rewatch Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

Last time, we spent a great deal of time on the sides as Khai finally pushed Third too far. Khai learned that Third was in love with him, so he decided to drunkenly kiss Third while saying another girl's name, tell Third he didn't remember doing that, and then tell Third he was super serious about this woman. Third, having enough, joined a different group to work on a project and is distancing himself from Khai. Khai is sad about this and has gone to the beach to reflect on his feelings. Meanwhile, Bone and the professor know of their roles now, and she's asserted a professional boundary. Un and Two interacted but I don't care.

I think I like this senior. He let Khai be popular with a bunch of girls to see how shaken he was, and is connecting emotionally with Khai's dilemma.

Ep.07 Flipped

I do like that Khai is given interiority about his bisexual awakening, and he has to consider how his prior experience with women compares to any expectations he has of being with Third. I don't think Khai took his relationships with women very seriously from an emotional standpoint, so there's some layers to unpack here. He has much to lose with Third, and he's lost much already. He doesn't really get friends to lovers at this point because he damaged the friendship so much.

I like the choice to not give us Third's interior monologue for Khai attempting to make a move on him again. We've spent enough time with Third's confusion. I like him being a bit inaccessible to Khai now that we're following Khai.

I'm glad Bone is getting corrected quickly about this editing gig. I did not have interest in that being dragged out.

I'm kinda glad Third is auctioning off the films that sent him into his original spiral.

Oh, Khai, keeping the Flipped movie isn't going to fix this.

Yes, Two. I may not care about your romantic plotline, but you are correct to tell Khai to leave Third alone.

Can't you have another chance? TOO LATE, BITCH.

LOL, I love bros. You can't hang out with Third alone! Oh wait you'll do my work? Well I do like determination.

I'll give them the erection joke as Khai realizes that Third is beautiful.

Just Off characters and his little purses against the world.

I like Third being used to how horny Khai is that he doesn't even consider that he could be the source of it for once after three years.

I'm glad Two is being a hater and giving Khai shit. This is also bro behavior.

Khai's self awareness is still in development I see.

Gun really is just so gorgeous. Like goddamn.

Don't fold, Third. HOLD FAST!

Oh lord, I forgot Khai gets into a crash next episode.

I like how many people are rooting against Khai. It's what he deserves. I don't think people owe him seriousness when he's treated no one else seriously before this. I like watching him struggle to be taken seriously as he reckons with his own reputation, even if he still doesn't get it. It's funny how he thought he was making a point by deleting all those phone numbers when his lack of investment in any of them is the point. It's also interesting watching Third from the outside because he's actually rather aloof.

As always, this rewatch is sponsored by @lurkingshan with support from @waitmyturtles and @neuroticbookworm. Tagging @twig-tea by request.

[yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere]

#bi #bisexual #bisexuals in TV (with the song that to me has many bi vibes “Hot N Cold” by K. Perry)

canon: 

#JesperFahey #NinaZenik #AvaSilva #HopeMikaelson #NickNelson #Yaz #YasminaFadoula #YazFadoula #AnnaTaggaro #AJCampos #VadaCavell #AneesaQureshi #LakeMariwether #SalemSaberhagen #MagnusBane #AkiMenzies

in my opinion/probably:

#GarLogan #GarfieldLogan #KenjiKon #Brooklynn #PeytonSawyer #RachelGatina #AlinaStarkov #MichaelGuerin #AdrianIvashkov

i love them all so much and I’m so GRATEFUL for all of them♥♥

representation matters!!

https://yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere.tumblr.com/post/698099699618660352/representation-matters-in-tvmovies

bi ig highlight : https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/18280848235083086/

+we NEED more bisexuality in media: https://yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere.tumblr.com/post/746941244472786944/so-alright-here-are-the-moviesmedia-that-make

https://twitter.com/ThisIsGSage23/status/1669274818640838658?s=20

https://twitter.com/ThisIsGSage23/status/1616742986603466752?s=20&t=U7FLMhUn5UYAN7CASaXGSw

https://twitter.com/ThisIsGSage23/status/1606204625446588416?s=20&t=1kmq42iuaPPnKU13tnwMWw

also i LOVE this edit:

body > iframe { min-width: auto !important }

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Nessa James (@calumshope)

https://www.instagram.com/p/Civn4PCumoL/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y%3D

https://twitter.com/ThisIsGSage23/status/1632676242720792576?s=20

+ 

https://yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere.tumblr.com/post/707875367317323776/bisexual-manifesto-this-is-a-safe-post-for

https://yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere.tumblr.com/post/727248133167464448/happy-bisexual-visibility-month-with-this-edit-of

THIS song (bi bi bi THIS IS OUR SONG!!) by Sub-Radio (the lead vocalist Adam Bradley is bisexual♥) :https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765512527066087424?source=share &https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765512891127480320?source=share + THIS BAND SINGING THE BLACK PARADE but make it ever more queer pride parade♥ :https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765565710891155456?source=share &https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765565917201612800?source=share (you’re scaring Ron you’re scaring Rooonn) + an awakening with HSM(?) :https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765565797378719744/mndvx-subradioband-happy-pride-yal-anyone?source=share

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6vdBgNpWvIwjCLD2JrJwxj?si=20352d89048241b3

[hxdrostorms]

“Rules”: repost with the information of your muse, including headcanons, etc. If you fail to achieve some of the facts, feel free to add some other of your own! When you’re done, tag 15 other people to do the same!

Stolen from the dash! Feel free to do it, and say I tagged you!

B A S I C S

Name: Aldebaran, that's the name he was bestowed upon upon him by his master. The name change was necessary, in order to help him effectively cut ties with his previous life. His birthname was Tiago, something only a select few people are aware of. Age: 20 Birthdate: 8th of May 1963 Species: Human Gender: Cis male Orientation: Bisexual, without a clear preference Profession: Aldebaran is one of the 12 golden saints, who closely serve and protect the goddess Athena. He wields the Taurus cloth, and guards its respective zodiac house within the Sanctuary.

P H Y S I C A L A S P E C T S

Hair: Long straight dark purple hair, it is so dark that it is easy to be mistaken with it being black. While at the Sanctuary, it's rare to find Aldebaran without his cloth, so not everyone is aware of what his hair is like underneath the armor. Eyes: Dark brown, it also almost looks black. Skin: Almond. Aldebaran is of mixed race. By Brazilian standards he is described and seen as having a dark-skin complexity, a "moreno" as we call them. Unfortunately, there isn't a proper translation to the term used in our language, to describe what Aldebaran would be. Height: 2.10 meters Weight: 130 kg

F A M I L Y

Siblings: N/A, although Aldebaran was born into a fractured but big family with many siblings. He was the youngest sibling for a short while, before his mother once again had other children, during his short time with them before he was taken to the Sanctuary. He barely remembers much of anything about that, at most he may mention he has some vague feelings about what he likely used to have. Parents: N/A. Aldebaran never met his father, he doesn't remember his mother anylonger. He often jokes about being the son of "the pink dolphin", an entity from the regional folklore that he was born in. Grandparents: N/A Other Relatives: N/A. Growing up, Aldebaran never had a parental figure in his life. The closest thing was with his master, the former Taurus saint. But they were master/apprentice above anything else. Aldebaran was one of the lucky few saints who got to catch a glimpse of Shion, outside of his pope duties, thanks to his connection/friendship with Mu. He got to interact with him in a less formal way, which led him to hold the guy in a high standard and under a really good light, in a more personal way. Any Pets? N/A. Aldebaran likes them, but given his saint duties he has no room for keeping a pet. Although, he can be seen tending to any wildlife that shows up in the Taurus house (small birds, critters and that sort of thing).

S K I L L S

Inhuman speed and strength, he is the strongest golden saint (physically speaking at least). He is more than capable of taking powerful blows, and sending then back with full strength at his opponent. Saints can sense the presence of one another, via their cosmos. Regardless of their distance, it is a deep connection. Their cosmos is the source of their powers, without it they are practically common humans. Much like all the others, Aldebaran also awakened his 8th sense granting him fully consciousness and control over himself, in death.

T R A I T S

STRENGTHS. Faithful, always maintains himself collected and level-headed, extremely loyal to his cause and those he cares, passionate, easy to work with WEAKNESSES. He can develop a few early prejudices towards others, his blinding loyalty is also his own downfall. Being an introvert amongst other saints means, he barely gets a saying in anything ever.

L I K E S

Colors: Gold and red Smells: Food (whether it is being cooked or if it is a baked thing), Furnace burning (associated with Mu's workshop in Jamir) Textures: Silk, polished metal, smooth skin Drinks: Aldebaran isn't picky at all about what he drinks however, he shows a clear bias for things from Brazil. Whether it is beer, or even brandy.

O T H E R D E T A I L S

Smokes?: No Drugs: No. At most, he consumed something during festivals held at the Sanctuary that likely had some side-effects. Driver License: N/A Ever Been Arrested?: N/A

[absolutehomosexuals]

I’m too shy to DM sorry 🙈 BUT. I thought I would share my headcanons on the characters!!

gay - Astarion

lesbian - Minthara, Karlach (her scene was for LESBIANS I stand by this)

bisexual/pan - Halsin, Wyll, Lae’zel

straight - Shadowheart?, Gale

Undecided - Jaheira, Minsc

I totally agree with Gale being straight. And Shadowheart, idk, she could be straight or bi I guess? What are your thoughts?

No worries!! We're glad to know you're out there regardless.

So, I totally agree on Astarion being gay and Minthara being a lesbian. The fact they're absolute menaces makes it even better, lmao – they're the kind of well written, fun characters I'd love to have as rep.

I can see Karlach being a lesbian: her intimate scene in act 2 looked very lesbian-coded and many men found it off putting lol, plus didn't her VA say her romanced voice lines were intended for a female character? Might just be a rumor, but it fits nonetheless.

They did put some lines in where she showed attraction to men, though, such as saying she would ride Astarion and the dream she has about Dammon while playing her Origin. I love the lesbian!Karlach hc, but I also believe she might be one of the few genuine bisexual companions based on canon sources.

I tend to see Lae'zel as a lesbian because, to me, her romance comes off as very gay coded. I intend to expand on this in a future post, so stay tuned <3 while it is true that she tries to sleep with Wyll or Astarion at the tiefling party sometimes, she literally chooses the least adequate men for the job (Stereotipical Gay Attitude Astarion and I'm Gonna Wait Until Marriage Wyll lmao) which we personally interpret as comphet.

I think Halsin is canonically bi, yeah.

Wyll looks straight to me, but I have no trouble believing he'd fully embrace a hypothetical bi awakening, which is why romancing him as a male Tav doesn't look awkward to me.

Shadowheart's lines show attraction to both women (e.g Karlach) and men (e.g Halsin), so while I love interpreting her a lesbian, she's probably bi as well.

Thanks for sharing!!

- mod orinthara

[psychreviews2]

Sexuality Pt. 3: Homosexuality - Sigmund Freud & Beyond

Social unacceptability

Mental health practitioners were treated as a last chance for many patients at the time of Sigmund Freud. Going to meet a complete stranger to talk about what you wouldn't even tell your family members, has to rate up there in anxiety with other unpleasant experiences, like waiting for a court verdict or preparing for surgery. Psychologists were viewed by the public, in Freud's time, as not being quite as professional as medical doctors. But when a person was desperate, then all that was left was hope for someone in the professional class to solve what no one else could. In 1920, Freud had met such a man. He was a father who was very troubled by the condition of his daughter. "There was something about his daughter's homosexuality that aroused the deepest bitterness in him, and he was determined to combat it with all the means in his power; the depreciation of psycho-analysis so widespread in Vienna did not prevent him from turning to it for help. If this way failed he still had in reserve the strongest countermeasure; a speedy marriage was to awaken the natural instincts of the girl and stifle her unnatural tendencies."

His daughter had fallen in love with a woman a ten years older than herself. The love interest had a reputation for promiscuity with both men and women. She loved her so powerfully, and disappointingly for her parents, to the detriment of her further education and social functions. "[Her parents] had never remarked in their daughter any interest in young men, nor any pleasure at their attentions, and on the other hand, they were quite sure that her present attachment for a woman was only a continuation in a marked degree of the feeling she had displayed of recent years for other members of her own sex..."

The young lady hated pretense, and without care for her reputation, she continued to be seen in public with the desired woman. One day her father walked passed her, and saw his daughter was in the company of the detested woman. "He passed them by with an angry glance which boded no good. Immediately after the girl rushed off and flung herself over a neighboring wall on to the railway line." The suicide attempt came to nothing and she recovered from the fall. After the attempt both parents backed off their criticisms, and being moved by the girl's passion, her love interest became more friendly.

Homosexuality

The difficulty with patients, such as these for Freud, was their clear and undisguised desires. "The doctor who was to undertake the psycho-analytic treatment of the girl had several reasons for feeling uncomfortable. The situation he had to deal with was not one such as analysis demands and where alone it can demonstrate its effectiveness. The ideal situation is when someone, otherwise master of himself, is suffering from an inner conflict which he is unable to resolve alone, so that he brings his trouble to the analyst and begs for his help...Further unfavourable features in the present case were the facts that the girl was not exactly a 'patient' - her suffering had no inner source, nor did she complain of her condition...The removal of homosexuality is in my experience never an easy matter."

Freud saw that psycho-analysis could only help patients release a desire that was already there. "I have found that success is possible only under specially favourable circumstances, and even then that it essentially consists in being able to open to the restricted homosexuals the way to the opposite sex, till then barred, thus restoring their full bisexual functions. After that it lay with themselves to choose whether they wished to abandon the other way, banned by society, and in individual cases they have done so. One must remember that in normal sexuality also there is a limitation in the choice of object; in general to undertake to convert a fully developed homosexual into a heterosexual is not much more promising than to do the reverse, only for good practical reasons that latter is never attempted."

Freud found that inauthentic choices, coerced by social threats, were not sufficient to provide any long-term satisfaction. "It is only where the homosexual fixation has not yet become strong enough, or where there are considerable rudiments and remains of the heterosexual choice of object, i.e., in a still oscillating or in a definitely bisexual organization, that one may make a more favourable prognosis for the psycho-analytic therapy."

When working with the girl, she had no such conflicts with her sexuality, but she did feel grief over how she made her parents feel. Freud thought to himself: "Did this homosexual girl show [bodily] characteristics plainly belonging to the opposite sex, and did the case prove to be one of congenital or of acquired (later developed) homosexuality?" Despite the typical stereotype of masculine looking women and feminine looking men, Freud still kept the analysis in the psychical realm because bodily features didn't always explain the outcome. "What is certainly of greater import is that in her behaviour towards her love-object she had approximated throughout to the masculine type: that is to say, she manifested the humility and the tremendous over-estimation of the sexual object so characteristic of the male lover, she renounced all narcissistic satisfaction, and she preferred to be the lover rather than the beloved. She had thus not only chosen a female love object, but had also developed a masculine attitude towards the object."

As Freud continued with the sessions he could see numerous problems with current beliefs in the general population, and even in doctors, about homosexuality. He found that...

Masculine or feminine looks don't necessarily predict sexual orientation.

Intellectual prowess or emotional dominance didn't predict sexual orientation.

Many homosexuals have heterosexual libido at differing levels.

Some people are bisexual.

For people who have more fluidity, it was possible for abuse or obstacles towards one sex to motivate the brain to unconsciously look for same sex replacements.

The behaviour of wanting to pursue or wanting to be pursued can be found in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships.

Early templates and disappointments can influence later choices.

To be or to have: The sex of those who we compete with, for the sex we want, tells us that wanting to be someone can be a rivalrous imitation that reduces sexual desire towards the rival, and their sex, and increases sexual desire for who is sought for. For example, when Freud released this patient, it was after seeing how she ultimately didn't like her father and transferred that attitude towards him, another male. By suggesting a female psychoanalyst, Freud must have believed his presence was only increasing her desire for women and nothing he could do would change that.

The patient suggested to Freud that she could obtain a false marriage as a solution to her problem. Of course a secret life could only produce the illusion of a conversion, and would be unfulfilling for both partners.

Authenticity

Freud eventually came to the conclusion that all these external influences, as powerful as they can be, are too weak to displace a very strong internal authentic desire. "Even supposing we thoroughly know the etiological factors that decide a given result, still we know them only qualitatively, not as to their relative strength. Some of them are so weak as to become suppressed by others, and therefore do not affect the final result....There must have been present in the girl special factors that turned the scale, factors apart from trauma, probably of an internal nature."

Freud was already seeing, what he encountered in 1921 with his malpractice on Horace Frink, that the influence of the therapist in personal sexual choices can easily lead to resistance, revenge, failure, embarrassment and stress for the patient. Since psychoanalysis is about freeing repressed desires, there has to be a strong heterosexual desire that is inhibited in some way that needs freeing. Otherwise, any treatments to forcibly increase heterosexual desires would necessarily be just another repression, leading to the same neuroses that Freud was trying to cure in the first place.

Another difficulty I saw with these early attempts at conversion therapy was how much potential there was for shame and bullying. The question moves it's target from the so called "patient" to the "therapist." What kind of person would want to do a job like that? At best a therapist can help to relieve self-blame, and validate any authentic choices a client makes. Any forced attempts at changing people could involve sadism and contempt by the therapist. Any compassionate therapists would find it painful to force an outcome, and they would be more interested in what good can still be done, and if nothing can be found, then they would naturally terminate the sessions. Very easily, one can see narcissists or psychopaths being interested in a job like this. To be in a power position and to manipulate people, who are confused about their sexuality, or anything else for that matter, is a great place to be for a psychological predator. They can get paid and enjoy hurting people at the same time.

Abuse of power

In the early part of the 20th century, Homosexuality was moving towards a medical model. This was both good and bad depending on the angle. Some people took it as an explanation as to why a person couldn't change orientations and should be accepted. Others took the theme of degeneration to the fullest extent to explain why homosexuality should not be accepted. Germany in the 1920s and 30s had both the acceptance and contempt co-existing. In A History of Homosexuality in Europe, Florence Tamagne described a freedom that was beginning where people could write accounts of how they felt, including early accounts of homosexual libido. "Reading these personal accounts, one can evaluate the degree to which each individual accepted his situation; of course, that varied enormously according to the personality and his education. Age, too, played a big part. Homosexuals of the first generation (born in the years 1870-1890) rarely felt serene about their inclinations, but that was less and less true for the following generation (born between 1900 and 1910). For many, the revelation of homosexuality came quite early, generally during childhood. Maurice Sachs says, 'I passionately wished to be a girl, and I was so unaware of how grand it was to be a man that I went so far as to piss sitting down. Even better! I refused to go to sleep before [my nanny] had sworn to me that I would wake up to find my sex had been changed…..As this occurred when I was about four years old, one would have to believe that since my earliest childhood I had inclinations which very especially predisposed me toward homosexuality.'"

As you can imagine, some people embraced their homosexuality and others didn't. Onlookers from the psychoanalytic point view probably watched with varying reactions. Imitation in psychoanalysis involves looking at people who are savouring, and then the brain imagines oneself in the shoes of the person enjoying themselves and assesses whether the identification would be worth savouring or not. People can be turned on or turned off. In psychoanalysis the question is, and no pun intended, "do you spit or swallow?" Projection and introjection can have an element of taking a picture of the savouring suggestion, feeding, chewing and swallowing or rejecting and spitting out. The mind samples the environment. Naturally some people will want to swallow the suggestion, others will want to spit it out, and some will swallow but be afraid of rejection from others if they found out that they like to swallow. Some of the feelings of being turned on or off would also have a variety of strengths, causing stronger or weaker reactions. Mixed reactions towards homosexuality would spread throughout society, and political choices around the subject would also polarize people. Because desire is political and involves an urge to imitate, there's also an urge to want to regulate and control desires in the general public to limit imitative influence. This is especially true in environments where the general public feel it's purely a choice, and a form of corruption.

The 'Wolfman' Pt. 3: https://rumble.com/v1gtqk5-sexuality-pt-3-homosexuality-sigmund-freud-and-beyond.html

These political splits also influenced Psychoanalysis. Henry Abelove described Freud's views of American sexuality, and he found that "...Americans were extraordinarily over-repressed. He found them sexually vapid, flavorless..." He felt that American Psychoanalysts had the tendency to see pathology "wherever they encountered what they believed to be immorality." Freud eventually signed a petition in 1930 to decriminalize homosexuality in Germany and Austria. After Freud died, psychoanalysis continued in America with the disease mentality towards homosexuals, which justified discrimination and abuse, until the later part of the 20th century.

Towards the end of Freud's life, persecution heated up in Germany against Jews, but also homosexuals who were grouped with political non-conformists. The modern world has a particular abuse pattern where science is used as an excuse for scapegoating behaviour. If I already hate a group of people, and there are scientific theories that justify my hatred, then it will be easier to dehumanize and act on those sadistic feelings. We will see this over and over again throughout the 20th century. The many deaths caused by Nazism and Communism are a painful lesson that whatever so called scientific discoveries cannot be used to justify abuse, murder, and political power-grabbing. Robert Franklin described this change in Germany in 1933. "The Nazi regime was focused on the economic and cultural revival of Germany, a Germany that under their rule became a twisted abomination marked by militaristic aggression and conquest, economic renewal and the imposition of Aryan superiority over all other races. It is the latter that the Nazis are best known for--this idea of superiority led the Nazis to try and exterminate what they considered undesirables: Jews, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Gypsies, Slavs, and homosexuals...Heinrich Himmler, reserved a special hatred for homosexuals, and the Nazi party moved against them almost immediately after assuming power. While to the Nazis homosexuality was perceived as a threat to their male-dominated organization, it was also used as a tool: charges of homosexuality were often enough to send the perceived offender to jail or to a concentration camp. In the camps, homosexuals suffered abuse from not only the guards, but the other prisoners as well, and were segregated to keep them from forming into groups."

Male homosexuality was criminalized in Paragraph 175 of the German Penal Code. Because women were capable of having children "the text does not mention women; in fact lesbianism was never criminalized in Germany. The male dominated German society viewed lesbianism as a casual outgrowth of female bonding that manifested itself during adolescence and usually subsided as women joined or were forced into patriarchal households. During the Nazi controlled years lesbianism was not seen as a threat to the perpetuation of the German race as lesbians could be forced to have children." The obsession with procreation in Nazi Germany was partly the need to out breed opponents, and male homosexuals were targeted for their non-conformity. "The young Himmler’s diary mentions two influential books which are at the core of this hatred, The Priest and the Acolyte by John Francis Bloxam and The Role of Eroticism in Male Society by Hans Blüher. To Himmler the ideas presented...on homoerotic bonds between men and boys, and the focus of homoeroticism as the crucial element in men’s organizations...combined in his mind to produce an idea of homosexuality as pederasty, with young boys as the main victims. To the Nazis and Himmler the estimated two million homosexuals in Germany were a threat to the Nazi ideal of propelling the Aryan race to such an overwhelming degree that it could take over the world. Himmler viewed homosexuals as 'propagation blanks' that preyed on boys and subverted Himmler’s goal of a worldwide German master race...The Nazi regime can be seen as a 'Biocracy', subverting and twisting medical science to serve state policy."

As Paragraph 175 was intensified, mere accusations of homosexuality were enough to get one arrested and sent to a concentration camp. "Close to 100,000 men arrested for P175a convictions, around 5,000 to 15,000 were sent to concentration camps, mainly Mauthausen in southern Germany. Homosexual prisoners comprised one of the smallest groups sent to concentration camps; however they suffered the highest rate of death of all groups of prisoners at over sixty percent. Camp inmates had to wear a triangle on their coat and pants to distinguish their offense: homosexuals wore a pink triangle. Life in the camps was especially cruel for homosexuals; they were mistreated by both the guards and prisoners. Many guards took special pleasure in torturing homosexual prisoners. One account tells of a man who had his testicles held in boiling water until the skin peeled off, after this he was sodomized with a broken broomstick, while the assembled SS guards drank and engaged in mutual masturbation. Homosexual prisoners were also punished by other prisoners for homosexual actions by camp guards against other inmates in a twisted association between the two. Homosexuals were not assigned to blocks; they were spread out among the camp in order to prevent their organization. This lack of protection and social structure made them more vulnerable than other prisoners, contributing to their high death rate. Homosexuality was still prevalent among other prisoners; many young homosexuals were taken under the wings of 'Capos', prisoners selected by the SS to be in charge of cell blocks. Capo protection often meant extra rations and a lighter work detail and these could be the difference between life and death for homosexuals. Another survival method for homosexuals in the camps was to declare revulsion for homosexuality and accept castration. German prisoners who took this option were often put in a penal division and sent to the Russian front. While these units were deemed expendable and suffered high casualties, it was often preferred to life in the concentration camps."

Paragraph 175 continued on after the war in Germany until 1994. "Many homosexuals were afraid to speak out even after homosexuality was decriminalized. A lifetime of discrimination had taken its toll – of 1,000 known homosexual concentration camp prisoners alive in 1980 only 15 have spoken of their experience and all of them anonymously. Homosexuals were also not able to receive reparation payments until 1982, long after many had died from injuries they received in concentration camps."

Slow shift towards acceptance

By the 1970s, the American Psychiatric Association begin changing their ethical guidelines based on that "homosexuality is not a mental disorder." Because of this, the world of mental health had to adjust to a world that wasn't ready for the main insight that Freud found, that if there's no increase in pathology to society coming from homosexuality, then the reason for persecution is baseless. They simply were scapegoats, and many in authority were the ones with the pathology. It's possible for the inmates to take over the asylum and project their ideas of disease without observing reality. Many of the later "conversion therapies" betrayed that kind of bias where science took a backseat to philosophy and religion.

Freud even 100 years ago was able to see that any fluidity would require a person to have enough craving, or libido, to work with. Essentially they would have to be bisexual to some degree. Without that, you are reinforcing internalized bigotry, or self-hatred, which is the opposite of therapy. Therapy has to be done with a light enough touch so that what is authentic can be unrepressed. Low self-esteem is self-destructive, and for many people, satisfaction is what allows for the healing. Without satisfaction, people turn to self-harm and addictions. A former gay conversion therapist John Smid saw that treating homosexuality like treating an alcoholic was the wrong approach. "People who finally accepted their homosexuality, many, many times, they dealt with their alcoholism, they dealt with their chemical dependency, they dealt with unhealthiness. Many times they dealt even with emotional and psychological illnesses, because so many of those things were caused out of this huge load of shame, and suppression they had to live in, and when they finally found freedom to be who they were, they were able to remove the real cause of many of those dependencies."

Former gay conversion therapist says practice does not work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdzgqRGdzUY

Gay life - Being Gay in the Thirties: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzPzb3exfVc

What is key that opens the door to relationship happiness is again what Freud pointed out, and that was tenderness. Where people fight over what is a disease or what is healthy, they are leaving out the emotional aspect of sexuality. If sexuality is a cold monetary exchange, a short-term release followed by disregard, a way to regulate emotions like substances, or a form of engulfing and domination, it's not Love. You're treating people as a means to an end. The perfume of tenderness is what allows for a sense of caring for your partner. For Freud our tenderness examples start with family, and often we are attracted to people who have those same expressions of tenderness. To consciously look for those expressions of tenderness in others, and to return the favour of course, takes love beyond lust. When lust is satiated and bored, tenderness is the bridge across the desert of emptiness, that has the patience to wait for lust to regenerate.

Love - Freud & Beyond: https://youtu.be/tVxjMP83ajo

Spiritual Bypassing & Inner Bonding: https://youtu.be/JVrkwqUdKE8

Power differences

Since the time of Freud, the early complexities of relationship theories only grew more complex. With more tolerance, came a large variety of possible sexual and emotional combinations. With advances in research on the origins of homosexuality, the myriad possible causes still left people to decide for themselves what they really wanted to do. In Sexual Orientation and Psychodynamic Psychotherapy, Friedman and Downey found that despite all the biological indicators, they concluded that "at present there is no biological test that distinguishes people on the basis of sexual orientation." Stephen O. Murray in Homosexualities, also found many patterns and had to loosely categorized them. In particular, one category he lists is trending today: egalitarian defined relationships. Modern relationships in particular investigate the role of power differentials. Regardless of sexual orientation, power for modern people is increasingly something to consider before a person engages in a long-term relationship. For many, undesirable power positions are deal-breakers. Ilka Quindeau in Seduction and Desire: The Psychoanalytic Theory of Sexuality since Freud says that "traditional sexual morality has yielded to a negotiated morality, which presupposes partners more or less equally strong and neither emotionally nor economically dependent on one another. This new morality presupposes sensitivity to the wishes and limits of the other, and demands high reflective abilities which cannot be assumed to be self-evident...A democratization of sexual relationships is underway."

Freedom 90 - George Michael: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYAc7gB-0A

As freedom increases, and people are able to explore what they like, there's an increased complexity of desires making an unpredictable self that conflicts with traditional social and economic power structures. "What is decisive for these diversifications is a market-like demand for greater flexibility in all areas of life, including in the sexual realm. Rigid social roles and psychological identities, as well as stable life-plans, are scarcely compatible with this general increase in flexibility. Instead, what is demanded is a 'modular self that functions like a tool-box whose parts can be taken out as needed, augmented and linked to one another.'"

This fluidity also has a chance to break some LGBT stereotypes. In my interview of narcissistic abuse of LGBTIQA victims, labels weren't always welcome. Individuals want to check how they feel and think before acting sexually, and they don't want to consult a chart or follow a random suggestion from somebody. Historian Jeffrey Weeks said "we've all become obsessed with sharp definitions of what people are. We begin to define people around their sexual activity. We begin to define people as normal or abnormal, around their sexual activity. I think lots of people are finding that these rigid definitions don't actually correspond to the range of desires, of wishes, of needs, that they actually have." Friedman and Downey concluded that "neither homosexuality nor heterosexuality nor bisexuality is a unitary entity." Ilka Quindeau notes that "[This increase in flexibility] is also evident in sexual orientation, for example, which often no longer remains the same throughout life, or by which individuals no longer wish to be defined. Thus, after having a family, a woman may opt for a lesbian relationship, or a man who has lived as a homosexual may indulge his wish to have children and marry a woman. In an earlier era, this might have been taken as evidence that these individuals had repressed their 'genuine' sexual orientation, but now it is seen as a sign of increasing liberation. Since previous boundaries are becoming increasingly permeable, and identities ever more fragile or even fluid, the conventional rigid division into homosexual, heterosexual, and bisexual is losing its significance, too."

LGBTIQA victims of Narcissistic Abuse: http://psychreviews.org/lgbtiqa-victims-of-narcissistic-abuse/

Despite Freud's theories being a century old, his early analyses of sexual fluidity continued to be influential during this entire time. Ilka still preserves some of Freud's insights for today's world. "Freud’s pioneering work on sexuality, which decisively influenced the twentieth century, contains a number of significant insights that, despite all the criticism leveled against them, have lost none of their relevance. 1) the expanded notion of sexuality that is not only confined to [the genitals]; 2) a non-normative concept that allows for a fluid boundary between the normal and the perverse, and between what is healthy and what is diseased; and 3) the assumption of an [independent] infantile sexuality [that can influence throughout life]."

Instead of social structures dictating what should be desired, individuals are increasingly changing the social structures to allow their authentic desires. If inauthentic relationships naturally crumble, due to an empty foundation lacking desire, then people are free to create the structures they want to live in using authentic desire as a foundation. Both traditional and modern relationships can co-exist, with people changing only when they really feel like it, and not because of suggestion or coercion.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Psychogenesis of a case of female homosexuality - Sigmund Freud: https://www.lacan.com/The.Psychogenesis.of.a.case.of.female.Homosexuality.pdf

A History of Homosexuality in Europe, 1919-1939 - Florence Tamagne: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780875863559/

Seduction and Desire: The Psychoanalytic Theory of Sexuality since Freud - Ilka Quindeau: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9781780490892/

Sexual Orientation and Psychodynamic Psychotherapy: Sexual Science and Clinical Practice - Professor Richard C. Friedman M.D., Professor Jennifer I. Downey M.D.: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780231504898/

Homosexualities - Stephen O. Murray: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780226551951/

Cheuvront JP. Henry Abelove’s “Freud, Male Homosexuality, and the Americans.” Studies in Gender & Sexuality. 2016;17(2):80-85.

Drescher, J. Queer Diagnoses: Parallels and Contrasts in the History of Homosexuality, Gender Variance, and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual . Arch Sex Behav 39, 427–460 (2010).

Warm Brothers in the Boomtowns of Hell: The Persecution of Homosexuals in Nazi Germany Robert Franklin: https://hilo.hawaii.edu/campuscenter/hohonu/volumes/documents/Vol09x08WarmBrothersintheBoomtownsofHell.pdf

Resolution on Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation: https://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/resolution97_text.html

Psychology: http://psychreviews.org/category/psychology01/

[dramatiique]

The vampire Lestat de Lioncourt awoke from a one hundred year slumber to the sound of the most wonderful music being played: nu metal. Intrigued by this sound, he followed it to its source and met a band playing in their garage. Feeling inspired by their sound, Lestat joined them as their lead singer.

They achieved international success and, after revealing the existence of vampires, Lestat taunted his own kind during a live interview broadcast. He invited any vampire who was upset with this reveal to meet him at his first and only live concert in Death Valley.

The reason for all of this is because Lestat realized that he had nobody to share the rest of eternity with. He would also much rather live without needing to hide his existence from mortals. If it meant he ended up destroyed by his own kind in the end, so be it. At least he would go out with a bang to a fantastic soundtrack.

His music brought many fans, all ready to worship him as if he were a god. This was thrilling for a time but still didn't fulfil Lestat's wish of finding a partner who wouldn't abandon him. He remained lonely even with all the fame.

Lestat's music also awakened Akasha, the first vampire. They had a meeting in the past when she remained encased in marble and Lestat played his violin for her. After the marble Akasha presented her wrist, Lestat drank blood from her, and it forged a connection between them. It was through this connection that Akasha was able to track him down centuries later.

After his Death Valley concert where he was predictably attacked by enraged vampires, Akasha showed up to whisk him away, ready to make him her new king. Lestat went along with this for a time but soon grew tired of Akasha's bloodlust and desire to kill innocent people. Teaming up with fellow vampires and a human woman called Jessie Reeves, Akasha was finally defeated.

Lestat decided not to continue with the band (who had moved on without him anyway) and now roams the world, in search of new adventures.

Threads can take place during Queen of the Damned, meaning that your muse can meet him while he's in the band!

I have only seen the movie and haven't read any of the books. I also haven't seen Interview with the Vampire, so my Lestat is purely based off the Queen of the Damned movie.

I know there is a lot of hate for this movie because people don't feel it's accurate or whatever, but I liked it and I don't care what anyone else thinks!

Lestat is bisexual but can be quite tsundere when it comes to people trying to be with him in an actual relationship (it's the abandonment issues) but he will flirt.

[they-them-that]

A ramble about my problems with Scott Pilgrim Takes Off (And Scott Pilgrim overall)

I know this will come off as nitpicky because it semi-is but I also had a hard time getting into the series with how much tired and sexist tropes were compacted into it. Although some of my complaints may seem to go against the entire antithesis of Scott Pilgrim (the "it's supposed to be that way!" argument), I also think that just means the entire comic and it's extended projects has always had a sexism problem. That doesn't mean you're wrong for enjoying it though! I fully understand the appeal and I'm not actually against the playful concept of gender dynamics in romantic relationships. But Scott Pilgrim Takes Off is the latest works of the franchise that reimagines the comic's story thus, potentially being a better, more educated version of itself and is in some ways it is, but is still ignorant in many others.

Good Changes:

-Todd's bisexual awakening

-Knives gets to be mostly happy

-Scott isn't there most of the time lol

Ok now the problems.

Wallace was a treat the whole series and I enjoyed Todd's bisexuality arc but Stephen's romance and coming out was shafted. As someone who didn't read the comics, I had no idea he was a gay character and it felt like we were trading one m/m development for another.

Kim makes out with Roxie instead of Knives in the anime (thank god) and I found the close up of them french kissing to be... Off putting, especially when Todd and Wallace's makeout, even with tongue involved, did not get the same voyeuristic treatment. This lends itself to an issue that's also in the comics which is the fetishization of w/w relationships for the pleasure of men. Even if we argue it's also for queer women, women are usually above just watching two girls frenching each other and no matter what, it's still a fetishistic scene.

Julie is written to be stuck up in the comic with misogynistic undertones. She's quite literally called a "bitch" and throughout the comics, she is constantly defined by the sexist term.

(source: wiki. Even if this plot summary could mostly be a fan's interjection on Julie, it still shows how her personality is antagonized in a uniquely misogynistic way by the comic)

In the anime, Julie gets together with Gordon Goose, formerly known as Gideon Graves (also retconning his ten year age gap with the main cast for some reason). He quickly crashes at her place and their relationship reflects an incredibly exhausted trope of the pessimistic woman and freeloader man. I found their relationship more interesting when they were both being evil together because it didn't feel parasitic but for the most part, their relationship was playing on a patriarchal and toxic dynamic that's nothing refreshing or cute.

Knives whole situation throughout the Scott Pilgrim franchise is deeply upsetting, especially because it never gets properly confronted in order to withhold accountability from Scott. Scott sees her when she's a minor and although it's pointed out throughout the series, it never actually gets addressed by Scott or Knives. Despite her being taken advantage of and then cheated on, Knives is portrayed as a crazy obsessed girlfriend and soon after, a bitter obsessed ex.

Although the comic and anime lampshades about the age gap problem, it also tries to minimize the situation through excuses like how Scott never made it official, he hasn't gone further than holding her hand, he had no real interest in Knives to begin with, and so on. This doesn't negate what he's doing and in the comic, he even asks for sex from Knives when she becomes of age which is blueprint grooming.

I find it suspicious that the protagonist we're meant to root for is the character who dates a 17 year old and hardly faces consequences for it. In the anime, we don't get to ruminate on the problem at all.

Scott disappears quickly and Ramona, despite hardly knowing him and frankly leaving little to be impressed by, searches for him throughout the anime where Scott gets painted with this unearned endearment of being a "good guy". When Scott returns, he gives a weak apology to Knives, saying "Apparently, a 23 year old dating a 17 year old is frowned upon by society" that actually fails to acknowledge why. It ends up coming off as down playing Scott's action and I can't help but feel that in a way, Bryan Lee O'Malley is also justifying dating minors as just some reckless mistake a guy can make.

Kim also makes out with Knives in the comic and it even seems to hint at those two being an item in the game which entirely negates the age gap issue the comic pretends to recognize with Scott.

Ramona's relationship with Scott is frankly NOT CUTE. Although it may have a more compelling narrative in the comics, I just find it difficult to support the relationship when Scott has such cishet energy. He fetishizes Ramona's bisexuality but then becomes jealous and insecure when he learns that Ramona actually dates women and doesn't just have sex with them. He's shown to groom and cheat and in the anime, it's pretty much one of the first things Ramona learns about him which should instantly be a red flag. Despite it, Ramona is head over heels for Scott, even when she learns how future her leaves him and he becomes a hellbent bitter ex himself with no sense of responsibility for how his actions drove Ramona away.

There is quite literally nothing about this guy that makes him appealing to me yet the series romanticizes their gendered dynamic, the movie being used as one of the biggest examples of a stale white wonderbread boy and a manic pixie dream girl by media analytics.

When we meet older and even-older Scott, we get told his age as well as see him visibly aging. With Ramona, there is essentially no visible aging even when she's in her 50's and we get the sexist gag of "don't ask" when it comes to how old she is, leaning into the harmful shame in being a woman above 25.

Although I understand that the entire concept of Scott Pilgrim is confronting Ramona's exes, knowing the anime was an opportunity to finally flesh out many underdeveloped characters, it was disappointing to see Ramona still really only exist in proximity to her romantic relationships, including Scott. I hardly learned anything about Ramona as an individual and I didn't get any sense of character progression. She started off as this mysterious woman and ended that way too.

In the end, the series just felt very cliche and heteronormative to me, even with its abundance of queer characters. Although it's not terrible by any means, it definitely still has issues I can't look past.

[god-i-hope-so]

Welcome in this... hectic fandom haha

So, gay/queer Eddie. There are several things about that and what canon could be.

First, nothing official is made so that Eddie becomes queer. And by that I mean there's no indication that the writers or Ryan want to go that way at this point of the show. Ryan himself recently said that Eddie was heterosexual, and that his friendship with Buck, now that he's openly queer, is even more important.

Then we also have to take a look at the story, the storylines and the characters we already have. There's not a lot of main characters. At the 118, there's Bobby, Buck, Chim, Hen and Eddie (sorry Ravi, you're not main yet). Hen is a lesbian and Buck is now officially bisexual. From a writer point of view, making Eddie queer would be overkill. There's no canon storyline supporting that.

Hen was always a lesbian in the story. Buck showed hints of queerness very early in the show. This is not a sudden realization. He had a storyline supporting this character development.

Eddie could also have one, but it'd take some time, and again, why? What would be the purpose when he's already a rich character with so many things to explore? His Catholic guilt doesn't have to be about his hidden queerness. His friendship with Buck doesn't have to hide or awaken his queerness. We love representation, but what we love more is good representation, not a cheap writer trick to turn any character into the new token queer.

And I say that as someone who clearly saw Buddie as being a thing during season 2. They could have done something back then and build a story around that. The show was new, the character didn't have the development they have now, it could have worked and the doubt lasted for a time. But now after 7 seasons... I won't say it's absolutely impossible but that would be strange. Season 7 showed Eddie being very supportive of Buck's relationship with Tommy, without a hint of jealousy, without anything between the lines. Unless you want to see what you want to see. Eddie was the one to push Buck to call Tommy back. "Call Tommy!". Who'd say that if they were jealous? Eddie could have easily say "too bad for him, maybe you dodge a bullet, you'll find someone better" or whatever that would have diverted Buck from going back to Tommy. But he did not because he loves his best friend and wants him to be happy. Because there's no jealousy, no "go train your ass on Tommy so you can be ready for me later" said between the lines.

Now, I'm for anyone to ship anything. I'm from the pro-ship school so you know, you do you. But when it comes to canon, there isn't 150 answers. We can have our own hopes and speculations of course, and it's fun because we don't know. But right now, the creative minds working on the show are not making Eddie queer.

BUT. If it were to happen... the shippers wouldn't settle for the queer friends. The goal is to have Eddie queer with Buck. The headcanon is not about Eddie being queer on his own. It's about him and Buck. So a queer friendship between Eddie and Buck would be very unwelcome by the shippers, that's for sure. And it's understandable after all this time pushing for having their ship be canon.

I'm not a Buddie shipper so maybe one with an open mind would give you a different answer but without the shipper bias, this is how things are now. I know many of them have a lot of theories based on how they read the show but facts are facts.

I hope you find your fun in this fandom, ship what you want, there's a lot to play with! Just make sure to stay away from the toxicity, whatever its source ✨️

So I am new to the 911 fandom and followed Bucktommy & Buddie within seconds of each other (was trying to keep myself open) so I see a lot come across my dash. Now Buddie fans are talking like gay Eddie is canon and for sure will be coming out season 8.

So there I am at my local park in arguably the most 🌈 city in the world, San Francisco, talking to my friends. And as we say hello & goodbye, hugs are exchanged and often kisses because affection is displayed differently than heteronormative relationships. So I was wondering what if Eddie does come out as gay BUT still stays in a supportive best-friendship with Buck. Because not every gay relationship no matter how close you are will automatically equal romance. What would happen then? How would people feel if they stayed friends even if Eddie realized his sexuality?

I feel uncomfortable asking this of the 100% Buddie at the moment because to be frank they are kinda intense at the moment due to their disappointment, and I fear the flames of unhappiness throwing out this scenario. So I am asking my Bucktommy peeps. 😅

[ao3feed-stony]

A Stony Fanfiction (working title)

by SophieDoggy2006

"The attack on New York left them all feeling many different ways. To some it was a triumphant battle. To others it was an awakening.

And one of these people was none other than Tony Stark himself."

 Tony and Steve fall in love. But will it take awhile for them to realise that or will it take no time at all. (working summary. a much, much better one will be made later on.)

Words: 917, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Thor (Marvel), Ironman (Marvel), Captain America - Character, Hawkeye (Marvel)

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Thor (Marvel) & Everyone

Additional Tags: Avengers - Freeform, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is bad with feelings, Tony Stark Loves Steve Rogers, Thor (Marvel) Is Friends With Everyone, A Bit Of Mental Health Issues, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Depression, My First AO3 Post, How Do I Tag, i have no idea what i am doing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tony Stark Has Panic Attacks, Panic Attacks, Bisexual Tony Stark

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/44019369

[secretlesbians]

Lesbian Pulp Novels with Happy Endings, Part One

Pulp novels were a lifeline for many gay and bisexual women in the 50s and 60s, a place to see themselves reflected and know they weren’t alone. Although tragic endings were a genre staple, it's a myth that all lesbian pulp novels ended unhappily. Happy endings were rare, but even at the beginning of the pulp era, books were published where two women were together and happy at the end.

Here are eight from the first two decades of the pulp period. Free links to the texts provided where available.

1. The Strange Path (Torchlight to Valhalla) by Gale Wilhelm, 1938.

"Morgen Teutenberg is an introverted 21-year-old woman nursing her dying father Fritz. She meets a handsome young man who is smitten with her despite her lack of enthusiasm. Then a childhood friend moves back into the street and new feelings are awakened." [link] 2. Diana, The Story of a Strange Love (Diana, a Strange Autobiography) by Diana Fredericks, 1939.

A thinly veiled autobiography, Diana is the story of a woman coming to terms with her lesbianism through a series of failed and eventually successful relationships. Julie Abraham, in an introduction to a 1995 reprinting says, “It offers a defense of lesbian relationships that was unprecedented in 1939 and radical for decades afterwards.” 3. The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith writing as Claire Morgan, 1952. “A chance encounter between two lonely women leads to a passionate romance in this lesbian cult classic.” [link] 4. Odd Girl [Originally titled Anne Loves Beth] by Artemis Smith, 1959. A love triangle and a mistaken marriage leads a woman to discover her true desires. [link] 5. Another Kind of Love by Paula Christian, 1959. Laura Garraway, after being spurned by her Hollywood lover, flees to New York City where she finally finds a place where she belongs. [link] 6. The Girls in 3-B by Valerie Taylor, 1959. “Three young women move to Chicago and room together; each wants to emancipate herself from smalltown mores. Valerie Taylor skillfully paints a sociological portrait of the emotional and economic pitfalls of heterosexuality in 1950s America—and then offers a defiantly subversive alternative.” [link] 7. Edge of Twilight by Paula Christian, 1959. Stewardess Val Macgregor lives a wild life, until she meets Toni, the new stewardess, and must come to terms with new feelings. 8. The Dark Side of Venus by Shirley Verel, 1960. “A story of two women who defied the conventions of society for the only kind of love that could fulfill them.” (Please note: These books were written at a time when lesbian relationships were taboo in the United States and may reflect prejudices of the era. They may also contain confronting themes like violence against women).

Source: The Lesbian Pulp Fiction Project

[brightwanderer]

So I just found out about the Babylon 5 reboot and I have THOUGHTS.

My initial, kneejerk reaction was OH GOD NO. Because I love it so much and have so much nostalgia about it and we have seen so many bad reboots and remakes.

But then I started thinking.

Babylon 5 was TWO DECADES ahead of its time in terms of its style of storytelling. It was intended to be a coherent five-series narrative arc, like a set of five novels - but JMS was trying to do it in the 90s, on network television, when the default was still 26-episodes-most-of-which-are-filler, every episode must be standalone enough that weekly viewers can dip in and out, and actor contracts are such that you can’t guarantee getting people back when you need them or at all. When I rewatch it now, I still love it, but GOD you can see all the seams and patches and awkward retcons because an actor couldn’t continue, or the network demanded something different. You can see the storylines that were supposed to happen (Sinclair never should have left, Talia never should have left, ALL OF THE PACING OF SEASON 4/SEASON 5, etc...)

It was also two decades ahead of its time in terms of queer content. Delenn’s storyline was clearly a trans allegory: I’ve even heard, though I can’t source right now, that they originally wanted it to be explicitly trans, in that she was going to present male or some form of gender neutral in the first series and then transition in the second. Susan and Talia were in love, and they made it as explicit as they could. And I still remember the disbelief and delight I felt in That One Episode where Marcus and Stephen use fake identities as a married m/m couple and it is ABUNDANTLY clear from their reactions and the context that this is completely normal and no big deal.

(Hey anyone else wonder what would have happened if Talia had stuck around and Marcus still joined? Because my thought on that is HOLY SHIT OT3 OF THE DISASTER BISEXUALS YES PLEASE.)

So now I think... what could JMS do NOW? Two decades on? In a storytelling environment where TV series are treated as novels or box sets from the get-go? In the wake of Sens8′s success? In a world where all of his “messaging” - everything he had to say with his characters and stories - is not only still relevant but even more relevant? Shall we talk about the rise of fascism? The treatment of telepaths as a stand-in for so many other abused groups? The post-colonial environmental disaster of the Narn homeworld? The corporate and political greed that awakens the Shadows? The refusal to bow to the paternalistic designs of a supposedly “more advanced” culture? SHALL WE FUCKING TALK ABOUT THAT?

So after all of that - my reaction becomes cautious optimism. I’m going to wait and see. But I think I am going to hope.

The one big stumbling block of course is HOW DO YOU RECAST LONDO AND G’KAR but I feel like I’ve got the answer to one half of that question: Jack Black as Londo. HE HAS THE RANGE, YOU KNOW HE DOES. DO IT.

[variousqueerthings]

Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part Two of Three

Part 1

Part 3

6. Sexual Awakenings part 1: Love, Obsession, & Size Differences

[Insert that post talking about the creators making sure that Daniel’s antagonists were much bigger than him so that the audience would sympathise, spawning 10000 size kink fics]

I’m sure this won’t awaken anything in Daniel

Corporate wants you to find the difference between these two pictures

The hallmark of feminine fairytales tends to be growing into womanhood, with all those symbolic sexual under/overtones, searching for a prince, encountering monsters (or evil stepmothers), on the surface tending to be quite passive/reactive, but actually being about young girls and women getting out of their environment and choosing to tussle with those deep, dark desires – monsters. They’ve got to function within the limitations of power that they have – escaping an abusive situation through marriage, chasing forbidden desires under the guise of duress, asking questions about sexuality through things like symbolic plucking (flowers) or consumption (fruit) or pricking (needles), etc.

Daniel isn’t striking out to find his fortune or win a girl or a kingdom Like A Man, he’s not a threat to Silver, who – like Jareth in Labyrinth – is in control for almost the whole of the narrative, he’s not actually able to do much more than react until he makes the decision to stop training, and even then he’s immediately ganged up on and assaulted, needing to be saved by Miyagi while he stands and watches, bloodied and bruised. 

Daniel’s journey in the third movie is to be forced into an impossible situation, seduced by Silver, and then prove that whatever violence Silver did to him isn’t enough to destroy him. It is incredibly similar to Sarah’s in Labyrinth, who by the end declares: “you have no power over me,” and that’s her winning moment. Not strength, not wits, not a direct fight, (although Daniel does fight Barnes and gets beat up again – only winning in in the end by taking him by surprise, unlike in TKK1 or TKK2 where you could argue that he proves himself to be a capable physical opponent to Johnny and Chozen), but by declaring that whatever power was held over her is now void.

Daniel’s narrative isn’t satisfying in the same way, because the dynamic of Silver and Daniel only accidentally emulates this - it’s not an intention on the side of the film-makers.

When Miyagi tells Daniel that he has strong roots, when he tells him not to lose to fear and Daniel wins over Barnes (in an almost fairytale-esque set of events), on paper he’s defeated whatever hold Terry Silver has over him. In the film itself though, Daniel never defeats Silver (which will likely be confirmed once he returns in Season Four). Daniel cannot simply say “you have no power over me,” and see Silver shattered into glass shards. 

The film is a contradiction: It wants to be a masculine sports film, but it exists in the same realm as Goblin Kings seducing young girls with the promise of: “Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.” Unlike Sarah, Daniel doesn’t claim the power that’s been promised to him on his own terms. His subtextually sexual awakening is so corrupted that all he can do is pretend it never happened.

Still, Daniel proves in the film that his strength is not in his fists. It’s in his praying to the bonsai tree that’s healed despite a violent boy brutally tearing it in two.

These looks on Daniel and Silver though?

So why does Silver become obsessed with him? What’s up with all those red outfits (that he doesn’t wear in Cobra Kai)? What does the temptation reveal about Daniel? How does it recontextualise TKK1 and TKK2? Is Daniel bisexual? (yes).

Ah, beach-Daniel, in your red hoodie and your cut-off jorts. Iconic hot-girl summer vibes. 

If you didn’t want me over-analysing this, you shouldn’t have put him in so many red outfits and then have this man leering at him like he wants to eat him alive.

Surface-level it’s not hard to read into a Dude Story: Masculine power fantasies are about strength in a very direct way. Fighting, control, suaveness – and if you’re not the most traditionally masculine of guys, asserting dominance through being a good lover or intelligent or overcoming that unmanliness in some way through beating the bully or convincing the hot girl to go out with you, levelling up in coolness. Being A Man. It’s not too dissimilar from Daniel’s arc in the first movie, if you watch it without taking later events into account, although Daniel is never interested in proving himself as a man, and more in making Miyagi proud. Still, he does win and gain respect, and arguably “get the girl,” although Ali’s interest in him was never dependent on the fight.

7. Sexual Awakenings Part 2: Sexual Assault, Liberation, and Queerness

Feminine power fantasies are often about sex. Metaphorically. More accurately it’s “owning sexuality.” Even more accurately: “Freedom.” They also inhabit a fluid space in which empowerment through monstrous desires and non-consent can happen at the same time. And on top of that, many of these “fantasies” are actually being written by men, so whose fantasy is it really? A lot of them are based in oral traditions so presumably they were originally from the mouths of women, even if modern iterations (starting with Grimm’s collections) are filtered through cis men’s perspectives.

All of that being acknowledged: In Angela Carter’s “The Company Of Wolves,” Red Riding Hood unambiguously sleeps with the wolf. Belle discovers her freedom from expectations and unsuitable suitors (and in some versions, evil stepsisters) by falling in love with a Beast (the original novel was written by a woman, the 18th century Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve). Jareth informs Sarah of his obsessive devotion to her in Labyrinth. To lean into horror for a moment – Buffy is stalked and eventually has relationships with both Angel and Spike, Lucy in Coppola’s Dracula (which I have mixed feelings about) is raped by the werewolf and Mina is stalked by Dracula, The Creature Of The Black Lagoon kidnaps Kay (the lead’s girlfriend) – subverted in both The Shape Of Water in which Eliza forms a consensual relationship with the amphibious sea-god and in the short-lived horror series Swamp Thing, in which the connection is purposefully framed as seductive…

and in The Karate Kid Part Three Daniel LaRusso punches a board until his hands bleed because an attractive, older man tells him to and in this moment he gives in to what he (thinks he) wants.

Not all of those examples are equal. Some are consensual, some are hinted as abusive and/or stalkery, all of them have large age gaps, and a few are outright non-consensual.

But they’re all fantasies.

They’re all power-fantasies.

Except for Daniel, because he’s a man and the idea that being obsessed (lusted) over by an older man who keeps you in his thrall, specifically because you tickle his fancy for whatever reason, because you’re beautiful, breakable, different – could in any way be considered empowering is a difficult concept to wrap your head around. It doesn’t contain that “but I’m a good girl, I’d never go off the path and pluck flowers if a bad wolf told me to, honest,” societal context or the social context of rape culture. It’s closest comparison is closeted (perhaps even unknown until that point) queer identity.

There have recently been some comparisons of Daniel LaRusso to Bruce Bechdel in Funhome (and everyone who says that Ralph Macchio ought to play him in the upcoming movie: you’re right and I’m just not going to enjoy it as much without him). I’ve written a post about Sam being the heir to his legacy and trauma, specifically as a queercoded man. It’s not dissimilar to the plot of Funhome in a lot of ways.

The other interesting source that’s been going around in connection with Daniel is the essay “The Rape of James Bond,” which discusses the use of sexual assault as a plot device for women and not for men: “About one in every 33 men [in the US] is raped. … [your statistically average, real life man] … doesn’t have a horde of enemies explicitly dedicated to destroying him. He doesn’t routinely get abducted, and tied up. Facing a megalomaniac psychopath gloating over causing him pain […] is not the average man’s average day at the office.” That last bit is just a descriptor of Terry Silver, (although I take issue at the blasé use of psychopath).

The two part youtube essay  Sexual Assault of Men Played for Laughs posits that there is nothing more de-masculinising than the threat of sexual assault and therefore any narrative that features this “rightfully” must mock any man who has been a victim or who fears being a victim of sexual assault. It is feminising. There is nothing more humiliating – and therefore unheroic – than a man dealing with sexual assault.

So what do we feel when we see an attractive young man being put into a vulnerable position by an older man? A trope associated with female characters, a trope that is considered unpalatable for men (see reactions that happened when the hint of sexual assault was introduced in Skyfall).

Was it the fact that he was being threatened, or the fact that James’ next line is: “what makes you think this is my first time?”

Some thoughts added by @mimsyaf​ are around the idea of safety in how a lot of cis women might relate to this narrative through Daniel’s eyes. He’s not a woman, he has – societally – more power than a girl or woman would have, which makes this a different watch to, say, if Danielle were to go through the same narrative. Daniel doesn’t carry that baggage of rape culture, or of the male gaze that you might find in a similar scenario of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Christine in Phantom of the Opera (and once more the age differences between these characters and the men who love/lust over them are substantial), which makes the narrative “safer” to engage with.

I agree with that, although as a transmasc person I also come at it differently. I specifically like to headcanon Daniel as a trans guy and find his fraught interactions with masculinity through his own non-toxic lens relatable, as well as the way other boys and men react to it – also I think Terry Silver is hot. I know there are people who write Terry Silver with female OCs, which is also a form of empowerment.

On the flipside putting Daniel in this space runs a risk of fetishising him as a queer youth who is either Innocent and Pure, or a bisexual stereotype that deserves to be assaulted for not being a real man. After all, Real Straight Men don’t run the risk of sexual assault.

 Alas, the road to empowerment never did run smooth. 

The comparisons between the way Daniel is treated by the text and how female characters are often treated in texts are undoubtedly there. Through Ralph Macchio and TIG’s casting and the direction and acting, but also within the text itself. 

It might not be with the same purpose as Neo’s symbolically trans journey, but it puts the whole narrative that Daniel’s going through from TKK1 under a different light than if there had only been one movie that ended on a triumphant sports win and a girlfriend.

Johnny’s masculinity and the use of tears as liberation, now that’s a whole other analysis….