#and the shiniest hat

[cejkthesteve]

Opening night, my birthday hat fell off in the background after the Savannah scene.

[punkcornzero]

Babe wake up, new Roy x Keeley x Jamie and/or Tedependent merch just dropped

[duchessanon]

“Princess Eugenie reached out to Harry to see if he had any more information about their grandmother. She had heard from another family member that it was “time” but knew little more.”

What’s with this extremely specific and unneeded Eugbea detail?

[livelaughloveluffy]

idk but I just feel like luffy, ace, sanji (obviously lol) zoro, and law would have a thing for plus size reader, who is sweet and naturally gets along with almost everyone but can also be a bit naive

plus size reader - monster trio, ace, law, and eustass

a/n: thank you so much for the request!!! it's definitely something that has fallen in my inbox before and i would love to write about it because i totally agree that these men would loveeeee plus size women 😌 (i'm 100% biased but shhhhhh lets not talk about that) i definitely took some creative liberty while writing this so i hopefully you enjoy!!

a/n: in typical fanfic writer fashion, i'm like actually so miserably sick right now, i have a really bad cough, my head hurts so bad, i feel super hot, and i can't even take cold medicine because of my antidepressants 😭😭😭 so if i start to not make sense, thats why 😭😭

nothing but fluff here 💗

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monkey d. luffy

-he's such a cuddly baby. luffy will 100% wrap his arms and legs around you, like a little koala, burying his face in the crook of your neck. he just wants all of you, all the time.

-the captain of the straw hats never ceases to amaze you with his strength as he often picks you up with such ease to either hold you close to him, with your legs wrapped around his waist, or to throw you over his shoulder, carrying you around the thousand sunny without a care in the world. luffy typically picks you up when he's extra excited to see you, needing to have you as close as possible. his grip on your body is always so tight, over his dead body would he ever let you fall.

-luffy refuses to believe that you don't see the beauty in yourself. his eyes widen in pure shock when he overhears you talking about your insecurities with nami. since that day, whenever you hear the captain talk about you, it's always with the phrase "the prettiest girl alive", with the widest smile on his face.

-he just can't help but constantly cover you with kisses. luffy is so proud to be able to have you, and he will happily shout from rooftops about his love for you, so shame about pda is absolutely nonexistent. it's a frequent occurrence for the captain to run up to you, smother you in kisses, and then run off to his other shenanigans.

roronoa zoro

_he's so proud to have you. when the two of you are together, he shows you off as if you're the shiniest trophy. his arm tightly intertwined with yours as the two of you hold hands walking the town of a new island. the green-haired boy always wants you as close to him as humanly possible, your bodies are always pressed next to each other, as if you were glued together, when side by side.

-zoro, who can pick you up with ease. when you are hugging him, he'll lift your feet off the ground, arms tight around your waist and spin you, only to then throw you over his shoulder like its nothing, taking you back to his bed. in a similar vein, he also often asks you to help him train, practically begging you to sit or lay on his back as he does hundreds of push-ups with ease. even if you try to protest and say you're too heavy, he'll scoff and pull you in for a tight hug. then picks you up and puts you on his back, making you cross your legs around his waist, and begin his training anyways.

-he's extra protective with you. especially when you two are exploring a new island, his hand is tightly gripping your waist as you walk side by side, and if you ever ask him why he'll turn to you and reply "just need to let everyone know you're mine." with the faintest hint of a growl in his voice. glares at anyone who dares to look your way for too long.

-the swordsman who is infatuated with your love handles. whenever you are just standing somewhere on the sunny, he'll come up behind you and grab your hips, pulling your body back into him. he'll rest his chin on your shoulder and when you ask him what he's doing he'll just reply with a simple "mmm, just missed you." drinking in the closeness of your presence.

black leg sanji

-the way this man is absolutely obsessed with curvier women. sanji constantly tells you how much of a goddess you are "mon amour, you're even more beautiful than aphrodite herself."

-the curly-browed blonde worships you and your body. when you are in only a bra and underwear in front of him, he takes his time to admire the absolute work of art you are. getting on his knees to stare up at you, placing his hands one on each of your thighs, working his way up to your stomach and hips, kissing along where his hands had just been. this becomes a ritual for him. he absolutely refuses to do anything more serious before getting to take his time adoring and worshipping you.

-sanji is constantly reminding you of how beautiful you are. he's saying it loudly, whispering it in your ear, and everything in between. you hear compliments from him a minimum of 100 times a day, and with the way his eyes widen and sparkle, you can tell how much he truly means it.

-he's genuinely heartbroken if he every found out that you didn't like your body or if you feel a bit insecure. sanji's eyes suddenly well up with tears as he explains that it hurts him to the core that you would see yourself so completely opposite to the way he sees you, "you're utterly ethereal, mon cheri. a work of art too perfect for this world." and he'll do anything to prove how much he means it. he'll leave gentle and delicate kisses all over your body and skin for hours, murmuring praises under his breath the entire time.

portgas d. ace

-ace was absolutely loud and proud about how attractive he found you from the very first time he laid his eyes on you. his gravely voice could be heard shouting across the moby dick "lookin' good, gorgeous." with the widest smile.

-the freckled boy will slide his hands up under your shirt, gently moving them up and down your hips and torso. ace has a carnal need to feel your skin, and there's nothing he loves more than getting to rest his hands on your stomach, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and leaving kisses down your neck as he does so.

-he loves to grab your ass. at first, ace tried to be subtle about it, starting by resting his hand on the smalls of your back, and slowly letting it fall lower until he reached your ass, and waiting a little bit before giving it a gentle squeeze. but as time progressed, he got more bold and unabashed about this form of pda, he's totally unbothered by the stares of the other crewmembers of the whitebeard pirates, returning their looks with the smuggest smile you've ever seen.

-ace will never let you forget how stunning you are. whenever he gets the chance, he'll be whispering in your ear about how gorgeous you are, how he's never seen anyone as beautiful as you, how he's so lucky to have you, and many other similar sentiments.

trafalgar water d. law

-like luffy, law is a lot more cuddly with you. often teleporting to stand right behind you, wrapping his arms around the center of your torso, pulling you close into him, his voice whispering in your ear "hi, beautiful." he always has a hand on you, whether it's on your thigh, your back, intertwined with your own hand, he simply can't resist you. the cruelest form of torture to the captain is not being able to touch you.

-praise galore. the captain is always finding subtle ways to praise you, trying to casually slip his compliments in during conversations. law often address you as "beautiful" or "my pretty girl", making it rare to hear your name slip from the law's lips.

-law is also extremely protective over you. his sharp eyes and stinging glare shoots at anyone who looks at you in a way he doesn't agree with. his hand holding onto your waist, pulling you close into him, with your head resting against his shoulder is law's ideal way to walk side by side with you.

eustass captain kid

-he's soooo loud about how attractive he finds you. it's an every day occurrence for you to hear the red-haired captain shout "oi, hot stuff, come bring your fine ass over here!" across the deck of the victoria punk. it's more common for kid to call you "hot stuff" or "doll" than it is for him to use your actual name, to the point that when you hear the captain using your name rather than a pet name, you genuinely think you're in trouble.

-eustass is so touchy. he literally cannot get enough of you, his large metal hand is always grabbing your ass or your hip, with his other hand running all over the side of your body. he's also not above leaving red lipstick stains all over your neck (and chest if you're wearing a top with a lower neckline). he leaves zero room for anyone to question who you're with.

-kid is obsessed with throwing you around, he's constantly picking you up and carrying you around the victoria punk. he'll put you up on his shoulders, loving the way your thighs squeeze around his head. throwing you over his shoulder, metal hand on your ass to make sure you don't slip. holding you by your waist with your legs wrapped around his. it's rare for you to be with eustass and for him to not be carrying you, its like second nature to him. and this man gets so fussy if you want to be put down. softly growling in your ear "make me.." while tightening his grip on you, refusing you to wiggle free from his grasp.

-the red-haired captain is genuinely angry if he hears you, or anyone else, talk poorly about you. nothing pisses him off faster than hearing untrue statements about the love of his life. the piercing glare he'll shoot your way if you start to talk down to yourself could kill. eustass will pull you close to him, whispering in your ear, the slightest hint of a growl in his gruff voice as he says "let me show you just how beautiful you are."

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tags ♡: @3v37773 @twiishaa @dindjarins1ut @thepotatocatto @peachycat17 @irethepotato @dreamcastgirl99; want to join the taglist? click here!

a/n: i really struggled finishing this because it's lowkey hard to think straight with my head pounding but you'll have to pry my laptop out of my cold dead hands if you think i'm going to let being sick stop me from writing some fanfic ����

a/n: also sorry for cutting law's part a little short, i literally can't look at my computer any longer 💀

a/n: enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Yandere! Cowboy x New in town! Teacher! gn! Reader

Save a horse, RIDE A WHAT?!

Okay i'm not that knowledgeable about the Ranch life, I only got this prompt from a *ehem* cowboy Ghost (from COD) prompt...

Yandere cowboy name: Knoxx Wyatt

TW: Implied sexual encounter, yandere shenanigans.

The Wyatt family.

They were THE ranchers of the town they live in.

You need cattle? They got them. Dairy? Sure. They even own a winery for goodness sake.

They also protect the town from outsiders and rogues.

But the most impressive part of their ranch is their horses. Their horses are award winning, with the most impressive breeds out there with such powerful legs for jumping, and the shiniest coasts to boast.

So it was clear that their horses are very important to them. So important in fact that every child born into the family gets their own horse once they turn 5.

When Knoxx got born, Mr. and Mrs. Wyatt was immediately smitten with their son. He's a miracle child after all. His mother, suffering from PCOS, considers Knoxx as a miracle child.

So naturally, he was spoiled rotten.

By the time he got to 5 years old, he was given one of the most powerful horse breeds in the world, a Belgian Draught.

The town was shook at first. A Belgian Draught? Even if the Wyatt family is known for their horses, a Belgian Draught is still a very prestigious horse breed none of their family members had handled.

Yet Knoxx proved everyone wrong by wrangling the horse even such a young age.

The horse, named Red, grew alongside the prodigy, Knoxx.

It was almost like Knoxx can talk with the animals with how he can tell what the cattle and the horses need by just a few huffs, belts, and trots. He's also a smart boy, absorbing information and relaying it effectively to the point he immediately got the senior rancher position by the age of 10.

Knoxx was mostly passive, only focuses on the ranch and the school. He's a gentleman, nice, polite, plus the fact that he's handsome, he's a heartthrob in the sleepy town he lives in.

Naturally, by the time he graduated with a double degree of Biology and Agriculture, he's the ideal bachelor of almost everyone.

And yet, he's not settling yet.

He felt like he just can't.

Because nobody can look past his polite smiles. No one can see his bored eyes, his arrogant sneer, his small, annoyed scoffs.

"Do they think they can measure up to me? THE Knoxx Wyatt? Dream fuckin' on."

In reality, he's an arrogant, entitled cowboy who thinks that everyone is below him.

Even going as far as letting his bloodlust win sometimes, silently and quietly killing the people who dared to be stupid around his precious cattle and horses.

Sometimes. It would be suspicious if it happened frequently, right?

He has a reputation to protect, after all.

So with this, all he could do is put the brim of his cowboy hat low, and take care of his ranch, and his ole' Red who's still alive and kicking.

But that arrogance will crumble once he met you.

"Fuck! Red! Where are you, boy?!"

"Red! Come on boy! This is not funny!"

Knoxx ran around the town, his boots clinking as his loud steps disturbed the peaceful town.

Knoxx was panicking. Red, his old horse, is missing. One of the hired ranchers forgot to lock the gate before he left the ranch.

Let's just say that rancher was sure to remember next time, his head almost being lobbed off with a rake that Knoxx may or may not have thrown.

As he got closer and closer to the raging rivers, his heart pounded. All he could see is the hoof marks that's definitely Red's making it's way to the river. He felt lightheaded, almost like he's about to puke from the stress and anxiety.

He may be a... Murderer, but he still has his moments, alright?

He got to the riverbank and his heart lodged to his throat when he saw a person pulling Red to the edge with all their might, their formal clothes wet. A telltale sign they pulled Red all the way from the middle of the river to the edge.

The person, not noticing Knoxx, continued to pull Red with the lead attached to the horse. Their legs were shaking, but they pulled with all their might until Red finally got to the edge.

"Darlin!" Knoxx yelled, running towards to Red and holding the old horse's head to his forehead. "You gave me a scare, boy!"

Knoxx turned towards the person and his cold heart slowly melted as they wrung their outfit from the water.

"Excuse me, your name, sweetheart?"

The person's head shot up, their eyes wide, tired, yet full of vigor. Maybe it was from the adrenaline, but Knoxx swore it was sparkles.

Or was it his eyes sparkling?

"I'm y/n."

"Y/n..." The way your name rolled on his tongue felt so good.

"Well, sweetheart. Thank you for saving my horse here. I'm sorry. You got your cute outfit wet too." You blushed, laughing it off.

"It's okay. I saw an animal in need and I immediately dove without thinking." You reasoned, shaking off the water. "Although, i'm probably late to my class."

Knoxx's heart sank. Are you not of age? A student?

"School? Are you new to this town? I've never seen ya around."

"Oh yes! I'm the new teacher. Well, I don't think i'll give the best first impressions with this outfit." You laughed sheepishly.

A teacher? His mind went haywire. You're an academic, it's quite a turn on.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. You got wet because of me."

Hmm? Why does that sound--

Knoxx bit his lip and rubbed his thighs together at the sudden heat running inside of him. God.

"Oh don't worry. It's okay. I gotta go though, although I don't know how to explain the situation." You smiled softly, grabbing your bag that was discarded to the side. "I'll go then."

Knoxx was upset. He wanted to spend time with you more.

Then there's also the scratching feeling in his chest and throat that roared at the thought of you going out of his sight.

He gulped, and took his hat off and placed it on your head. Sweat riddling his face.

'Please don't know what this means please don't know what this means please don't know what this means...'

Knoxx almost buckled over when you looked at him with curious and ignorant eyes.

"Your hat? Why did you give me your hat?" You asked, feeling up his cowboy hat. It felt high quality and nice. Yet it felt foreboding. You don't know why.

"Don't worry your pretty little head over it." Knoxx said, smirking lazily. "Just wear that. They'll know what that meant."

You tilted your head and Knoxx gulped once more, shaking his head. And ignoring the prominent hardness between his legs.

"You must be cold. Come on, let me give you a ride to the school. I'll explain the situation to them." Knoxx held your waist, his body so close to you that you can smell his musk of pine, dirt, and wine.

And as he gave you a ride to the school, you swore that the townspeople's eyes were glued to you, and the hat on top of you.

"Knoxx! How's the new teacher? Are they settling well here?" The mayor of the town asked, eating his snacks.

Knoxx nodded and sighed. It was already a month, and it felt like a fever dream for him.

A beautiful fever dream he won't let go off.

"They're doing fine. The students love 'em." Knoxx said, chuckling and settling back on his chair.

They were in a saloon right now, drinking and eating the afternoon away. Knoxx just finished his daily patrol so he decided to settle inside the saloon when the mayor sat down with him to eat.

"Well, i'm glad to hear that." The mayor cleared his throat before his eyes widened to the door.

Knoxx followed his eyes and his gaze softened, yet also became predatory as he saw you walk inside.

"School's done, sweetheart?" Knoxx asked loudly, making you jump and clear your throat. A blush on your cheeks.

"Yes. Just finished. I'm just gonna go get a drink before heading home." You said, adjusting the collar of your outfit before going to the bar hastily.

Knoxx chuckled lazily, his bitemarks from last night's love making was visible from here, despite your attempts to hide it.

Yet his eyes went to the mayor's, who is looking at you with a hint of desire in his gaze.

Knoxx gripped his whiskey glass and spun the barrel of his revolver slowly, letting it click softly to the right position.

It seems that his sweetheart is a magnet for bandits ready to snatch them up.

But that's okay.

This cowboy will not let anybody steal you from him.

Save a horse,

Ride a cowboy.

[lulu-bin]

How do the draw hats + the dilfs propose to there s/o?

How the One Piece Characters Propose to Their S/O

Sets up an elaborate date, buys flowers, and picked out an expensive ring they knew their S/O would like. Everything has to be absolutely perfect.

Sanji, Usopp, Doflamingo, Boa Hancock, Kuro, Helmeppo

Sets up a small, private date. Doesn't get too into the theatrics and details. They just want their S/O to be happy and comfortable. Smiles so wide when they say yes to marriage.

Nami, Koby, Robin, Crocodile, Mihawk, Law, Alvida, Zeff, Garp

Pops the question after sex, they don't even have a ring yet. They just know they have to marry their S/O, they're so in love it's almost disgusting. Absolutely head over heels, and promises to get them the biggest shiniest ring as soon as they can.

Zoro, Shanks, Buggy, Smoker

Forgot to even ask their S/O, just starts planning a wedding and slips the ring on their S/O's finger in their sleep. Assumes they want to get married since they already act like it.

Luffy, Ace

[the-northern-continent]

I am smoking up Skyhold’s entire elfroot supply with this one, but:

Are the Executors… save-scumming?

To be clear, I’m not convinced true time travel is possible in Thedas. I tend to think In Hushed Whispers was the illusion of time travel rather than real time travel. The Fade has access to everyone’s dreams, it could create a pretty detailed prediction of the future (or rendering of the past) from all that information.

But for now, let’s polish up our shiniest tinfoil hats and assume IHW was real time travel. That would sort of imply that you could just… do that, prior to the Veil’s creation. If so, why wasn’t it happening constantly? For example, why fight the titans rather than reversing the action that pissed them off?

Presumably, the ritual to perform a large time reversal would be long, difficult and easy to interrupt. Maybe things are kept mostly stable because multiple powerful mages can cancel each other out. The evanuris seem to have benefited from the war with the titans, so they’d be actively canceling out any attempts to reverse it.

Until they got imprisoned. At which point, someone who regretted the war might eventually attempt a rewind. Except that the magic went wild and the Veil extended to cover the whole world, conveniently blocking that from happening. If the Executors also had access to time magic pre-Veil (+ post-Veil if it gets torn down in the future), they could adjust their actions such that they’re never directly interfering with people’s choices, but by a string of “coincidences” they get exactly the result they want. Reloading the timeline until the butterfly flaps its wings at exactly the right moment. A complex ritual, already prone to going wrong, would be a good place to disguise that kind of influence.

Anyway I keep thinking about that lore drop that Solas knows more about the executors than any other living being, and he’s crossed paths with them prior to Tevinter Nights. Why has he, specifically, seen more of them than the other evanuris have?

And since he knows they’re watching, is he doing anything to try to trick them in Veilguard? Are we sure we know the motivation behind all his choices, or is some of it a performance aimed at fooling the Executors?

Also, why is it so interesting to him that Sera experiences déjà vu?

[ageingfangirl2]

Hazbin Hotel x Child Reader Series

PART 1O - YOUR FIRST HELL BIRTHDAY

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN FOURTEEN FIFTEEN SIXTEEN SEVENTEEN EIGHTEEN NINETEEN TWENTY TWENTY-ONE TWENTY-TWO

Your first birthday at the Hazbin Hotel was an experience. You hadn’t expected anything—after all, birthdays weren’t exactly a big deal when you lived in a house full of cannibals back on Earth. But here? Here, it was chaos.

Charlie was determined to make your birthday special. She went all out. Balloons, streamers, a massive banner that said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETHEART!" in glittery letters—she even tried to make a cake herself.

Keyword: tried. Because 20 minutes in, the kitchen was on fire, and Husk had to put it out while Charlie screamed in panic. In the end, they just ordered a cake.

While Charlie was running around like a chaotic mess, Vaggie was the one who made sure everything was practical.

She got you a gift—something useful. A new jacket (because let’s be real, Hell’s not the warmest place for a kid). She also made sure Charlie didn’t throw a party so wild that it ended in another disaster. Did it work? Not really.

Alastor loved a good celebration. The moment he found out it was your birthday, he insisted on handling the entertainment. But what exactly did that entail? A radio-style birthday song, performed by him, complete with eerie jazz music and creepy backup singers that may or may not have been ghosts of people and demons he’d killed over the years. A twisted magic show where he pulled things out of thin air—including a live, screaming imp, which he promptly shoved back into his hat. And a party game where he made a piñata… that moved and screamed when you hit it. (Charlie shut that down real fast.)

Still, you kind of liked the weird energy he brought to the party.

Angel took it upon himself to spoil you rotten. He bought you the shiniest, glitteriest, most ridiculous outfit he could find and insisted on a mini fashion show. He gave you a birthday makeover and took way too many selfies with you. And he tried to sneak in some ‘party favors’ (read: very illegal substances), but Vaggie dropkicked him before that could happen.

Angel laughed, ‘Okay, okay! Geez, no fun allowed! It’s a party, everyone needs to relax.’

Husk acted like he didn’t care. He sat at the bar, muttering, ‘Damn kids, makin’ a mess, bein’ loud…’ but you knew he cared.

Because at one point, he tossed something at you, ‘Here. Don’t make a big deal outta it.’

It was a stuffed toy—a slightly tattered black cat plushie, ‘ I had it for a while. Thought you might like it.’

You hugged it immediately. Husk grumbled and waved you off, but you swore you saw him smirk. Especially when you clung to the plushie for the rest of the party, insisting that it now came everywhere with you because you and it were best friends.

Sir Pentious, like Vaggie, decided on practical gifts. He got you your own goggles and apron and an empty book for you to jot down your experiments. You asked if one day you could have your own egg boi, and he said you could but not right now. Charlie and Vaggie were relieved that one of the residents had got you something normal and non-chaotic.

Niffty was thrilled to have a birthday to celebrate, ‘Oh my gosh, I haven’t decorated for a birthday in years! Is this exciting for you?! It’s exciting for me!!’

She zipped around, decorating everything, making sure there wasn’t a single speck of dust anywhere. She also made you a gift—a homemade, slightly crooked, but still adorable scarf.

‘I stitched it myself! Hope you like it! If you don’t, that’s okay! I can make another or fix it! Or set it on fire and make something new!’

You loved it. Wearing it for the rest of the party proudly. Even asking if she could knit something for the cat plushie so the two of you could match.

Lucifer showing up was a surprise. You didn’t expect him to come, but as soon as he walked in—elegant, composed, somehow completely unaffected by the chaos around him—everything just kind of… stopped.

Charlie immediately went into “nervous daughter” mode, ‘D-DAD! You didn’t have to come!’

He smirked, ‘Nonsense. I had to see what kind of circus you were running here.’

Then he turned to you, ‘Happy birthday, child.’

And then—he handed you a gift. A small, ornate box with his emblem on it. Inside? A charm. A charm of a duck, the same charm that Charlie had nearly made a deal over in the market.

‘It will protect you. To a degree. Don’t rely on it too much.’

It was subtle, but you could tell—this was something rare. Something valuable. Something he wouldn’t give just anyone.

Charlie gasped, ‘Dad! That’s—’

Lucifer held up a hand, ‘Don’t make a scene, dear. It’s their day, after all.’

You had never been given something so… important before. You clutched the charm tightly and whispered, ‘Thank you, Lucifer.’

Lucifer simply smiled.

At the end of the day, while you were tucked up in bed, hugging the plushie and wearing Niffty’s scarf, you realised something. This was the first birthday you had ever actually enjoyed. And it wouldn’t be the last.

[its-a-hatty-family]

Main Characters

These are the main characters in the Hatty Family AU. All of these characters are characters that have huge steaks within the main plot.

Hat Kid: (Real name: Heni Hour. Pronouns she/they) is an adventurous and fun little alien who has been to many places around the galaxy in her trusty spaceship. Hat Kid is tasked with taking down her family on behalf of the Spacetime Federation in exchange for her own freedom and complete forgiveness of her many MANY crimes.

Chief Officer Dial: (Pronouns: He/It) Head official of the Spacetime Federation, tasked with maintaining order in the galaxy. He was in charge of aprehending Hat Kid, but saw an opportunity that would benefit both her and him, she would help the Federation apprehend her family and she wouldn't get punished for her crimes. His motives aren't selfless though, as it seems he might have alterior intentions.

Father Time: (Real Name: Theos Time Pronouns: He/They) Father of Hat Kid and Sally Second. His love for his family is incredibly intense, almost as intense as the rituals he conducts in service of the stars he worships. A very eccentric fellow with an eccentric following for sure. His dad jokes often go over heads.

Mother Minute: (Real Name: Marie Minute Pronouns She/her) Mother of Hat Kid and Sally Second. A creative diva at heart for sure, though she can get easily carried away with her artistic displays and shows. She hopes to one day be the shiniest star in the galaxy.

Sally Second: (Pronouns She/they) Younger sister of Hat Kid by two years. They love to bake, and aspire to be an entrepreneur in the baking industry. Her delicious creations can get a little chaotic, but they help to get rid of unruly customers. She may have a stern face, but Sally is very happy when partaking in their craft.

Many more characters await in this story, faces old and new! Hopefully some are less hostile than others...

[voch]

I absolutely adored @firecurls-27’s idea of What If Chalice Was Adopted By Other DLC Bosses? and I decided to do that with the cupbros!

More info about these designs:

King’s Leap Prince Cup and Prince Mug were taken in by the King and Queen of games and raised to be proper Gamemasters. However, Prince Cup found he liked participating in the games way more than controlling them, and rebelled, living a double life. Every night he sneaks out and lives with the Mice, enjoying their jovial parties. Little does he know they’re planning to overthrow and execute the Queen. Mugman knows of his brother’s secret, but won’t give him away. However, he is very suspicious of the Mice, and isn’t afraid to go to any lengths to protect his kingdom. Where will each brother find their loyalties lies, and will they figure it out before it’s too late?

Esther Winchester Two Shots and Ten Gallon are the West’s most fearsome nogoodniks. Two Shots is small, rough, and rowdy, and has a shorter fuse than Mama Esther’s dynamite, but he’s an eagle eye capable of shooting a gold coin from across the town. Ten Gallon runs his Mama’s spaghetti saloon, but don’t be fooled by his more passive demeanor: he’s a professional con artist with more than a few tricks up his sleeve. Ten Gallon constantly worries Two Shots is gonna end up being picked by vultures in a ditch with his attitude, but there’s no stopping the sharpest shooter in the Isles… right?

Moonshine Mob Big Cup and Mugsy Smiles are actually raised by different members of the Mob, so they’re more distant than other Cupheads and Mugmen. Big Cup was taken under the Snail’s proverbial wing and Mugsy Smiles was adopted by Charlie and Lightbug. Big Cup is pretty tough and never takes no guff from nobody, but he feels pretty lonely in the mob. He has respect, but no real friends. He stuck the antennae into his hat to feel a bit more part of the family (just don’t ask where he got the antennae from). Mugsy Smiles, meanwhile, is more of an entertainer. He can play many instruments, he can sing, and he can dance. He’s not afraid to get his dirty in the real whiskey business, though. Big Cup and Mugsy Smiles don’t really connect the dots that they’re brothers, but they both feel like something is missing from their past…

Glumstone Cuppy and Muggy are beloved by the gnomes. Cuppy has gotten a real knack for mining and loves the shiniest of ores and gems. He even uses gold to fix cracks in his skin. Muggy tends to growing the Gnomeberry gardens, making sure they’re as bright and juicy as possible. Being raised how they were, they picked up many more talents, including storytelling, making every sentence a rhyme, and of course, mountain climbing. In fact, Porkrind often recalls the tale of how they rescued his beloved wife from her demise in the snowy hills. And every summer, when the happy campers dare to venture through the mountains, they may get to sneak a peek of the two tallest gnomes in the Isle…

Mortimer Freeze Cold Cup and Snow Milk, aka the Ice Cream Brothers, are not to be trifled with. The most powerful magicians in the Isles, their combined magic is said to be strong enough to freeze over Hell itself. Cold Cup uses Ice Cream and similarly delicious frozen treats to lure in new members, while Snow Milk… deals with them. Details in their design I’m proud of? Cold Cup has a Pentacle in his hat while Snow Milk has a Sword necklace. Pentacles are the replacement for Diamonds in Tarot, and Swords are the replacement for Spades.

Howling Aces Cast and Mike (named after “C” and “M” in the RAF Radiophonic alphabet, respectively) were raised as Yankee Yippers to be the new Top Dogs of the Howling Aces. Cast, who takes more after Hugo Bulldog — and even has the same bones tattoo to prove it — is serious and well-trained soldier. Mike, who has a more natural love of aeroplanes and leadership, takes more after Sargent O’Fera. However, Mike has a long-standing rivalry with local boy genius Canteen Hughes, who seems to have a bone to pick with the Aces, for some reason. Guess he and Mugman can’t be best friends in every universe…

[michverdun]

"Y'know, I never thought I'd give up the bandit life either. Hell, back in my day I was infamous, although it was under a different name. I mean there was nobody on earth that could stop me, until I met him."

"It was a fairly regular stickup, I just needed some money after a string of bad luck, but as soon as I left that bank there he was. The sheriff was staring me down, wearing nothing but a hat and the shiniest pair of underwear, and I mean it was sparkling in the sunlight. The sight of him made me think that I lost my damn mind!"

"He started flexing those muscles of his, and now I'm guessing he was tryin' to intimidate me so that I'd surrender. I wouldn't say I was intimidated, but I did freeze. I don't think I've ever seen someone so massive in my damn life. He was flexin' muscles I didn't even know existed, like how the hell was I supposed to know some guys could spread out their back muscles like they're wings? I thought he was tryin' to fly off!"

"So, in my shock the sheriff came over and scooped me up over his shoulder and shipped me off to a jail cell. Only jail cell in the entire damn town in fact. First time I ever been caught and it was by one sherrif in a ghost town! Ooh I was pissed. I spent a good while thinkin' up a way to get out of that cell and get my revenge, when he came back."

"I definitely wasn't the nicest man to talk to at that time, but he took every ounce of venom I spit with the patience of a saint, and soon enough I'd calmed down again. I couldn't help hit he had a way of distractin' me, although anyone who could see the crotch of my jeans could easily see why. I don't know what it was but just watching that man move made my heart beat as fast as when I was runnin' for my damn life. Without even tryin' he hit my one weakness: all of those complicated feelins' I had for the men around me."

"He had to have known at that point, but he didn't say a word about it as we talked at first. He told me about his situation, where the townsfolk pushed him into being sheriff even though he didn't have to disposition for it and could barely shoot a gun, and he was just trying to do the best he could. I started feelin sorry for him, among other things."

"It was then that he tried to get me to give up my life of crime, try to make a more honest living. Even as I was runnin' on pure instinct at that point I still refused. How could he tell me to give it all up after everything I'd been through. But he kept pushin', kept treating me like a worried friend than a stern sheriff, and... Well, do you know that saying? 'All cowboys are secretly fond of each other'? Well, turns out I wasn't the only one hiding secret affections. He showed me one night too, and his... 'affection' was pretty fuckin' big too!"

"After that, it was over. If you're the sappy type you'd probably say I did it for love or something like that, but the heart of an outlaw still beats in this chest, and he sees it as simple economics. there ain't another man like him out here, and having him is worth more than anything I could ever steal. He's priceless."

[sirenseraph]

⏾ ⟡ ݁₊ . 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒞𝓇𝒶𝒾𝑔 𝒯𝓊𝒸𝓀𝑒𝓇 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈 ⟡ ݁₊ . ⏾

Masterlist

Big Astronomy person.

His room is decorated with glow in the dark stars on the ceilings, space themed bed sheets, figurines and photos he printed off of Pinterest on his wall and his guinea pig cage in the corner with a decorative miniature version of an astronaut inside it.

After his first guinea pig died you bought him another one and he named it Stripe again with both of your last names.

Tricia is your best friend.

Sometimes you go over to Craig’s house just for her.

Loves playing dress up with you, doing each others hair, watching Barbie movies and prank calling people from your high school.

He isnt a big fan of PDA

Very touchy in private but not in public.

Not big on pet names also and will either call you “honey” or “babe”

Anything else he would rather dig his own grave.

Loves binge watching movies with you. It’s his favorite things combined; silence, the show he could watch over and over again and the girl he loves.

Has bracers and when he goes to get them tightened he’s bitching to you over text about how much it hurts and you have to go over to his house with a bucket of his favorite ice cream.

The most basic bitch ever and picks blue bands every time but smiles brightly to show it off to you as if anything has changed.

Very tall and skinny but pretty strong.

He has muscles but covers it up with that big ass hoodie that he washes once a month, only because when you cuddle him you complain that the scent of cigarettes clinging to it is getting unbearable.

He’s also very tall. Another 6’1 baddie.

He would either play football, hockey or would unironically be in theater working in the background on props just because the school told him he needed an extracurricular activity.

Would never admit it but he likes those stupid matching couples clothes. Like the hello kitty pjs, or shirts saying ‘i come in peace’ ‘i’m peace’.

Dresses up Stripe in tiny outfits that he forced you to make and now is also forcing you to fill up your phone storage with hundreds of pictures in each outfit.

Acts all nonchalant and shit in school, but when he’s home he’s latching onto you, his entire body covering yours as you lay in his bed together.

Doesn’t let you get up for anything. Not that you can anyways, he’s putting all he body weight on you making sure you stay there.

Dates with him would consist of walks on the beach, sitting in the park and having long conversations about anything and laying in his room watching the sun slowly fade and the stars on his wall start to glow their green hue.

Loves writing letters to you.

He doesn’t talk much and puts all his feelings into letters. At the end he puts ‘burn this after reading’

You never do though. You keep everything he’s given you, whether it be crafts he made himself, little doodle art he drew while bored in class of the both of you and Stripe, love letters, flowers, etc.

Doesn’t get jealous easily

He laughs whenever he seems someone flirting with you because his ego is very high and he thinks he’s better than the person who thinks they have a chance with you.

Loves to draw on his hands and yours and think ink poisoning was made up by an idiot who doesn’t have a creative bone in their body.

Everyone thinks his gang and Stan’s gang are against each other but they’re all really cool and they invite him and his friends over to smoke and play basketball .

Kenny and Craig are the ones to get the most high and then they come over to your place to crash and eat all your food .

Forced you to pierce his ears for him and makes you both match once it’s healed.

Does not comb his hair at all.

When he finally takes off that hat that he practically cannot live without; he has the shiniest, thickest most beautiful healthy pin straight black hair.

Lives for the feeling of you running your hand through his hair.It soothes him and he doesn’t even ask for it directly, just puts his head on your lap expecting you to comply and you do, every single time.

low-key don’t know how to write for Craig but i used some elements from a fanfic i’m writing which i will soft launch soon.

[i7lovesyou]

Treat yourself~♪

You and you knows who trying to find free schedule to spent time together, but it always interrupted with his unit mates appearing out of nowhere during your date, with request and pleads.

At the end of the day, they make up for it and leave you and him alone, since he's frustrated his date practically ruined during the day, he's being very silly pouty and start to kiss you non stop.

- 🦈 (you know me :3c)

HIIIII 🦈 EHEHEHHE I HOPE U ENJOY UR MEAL OF NYANASE RIKU :D

also I'm so sorry chat for my writing inactivity..

format: minific

wc: 872

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

"Okay okay, I think we've made the perfect plan! Everyone's busy with photoshoots, practices and dramas, this is the perfect time!”

Riku happily chatted your ear off, walking by your side as you passed a few stores. Due to both of your busy schedules, the date for today was just a small walk around the park and shops nearby. Peeking at the expensive jewellery and pastries together was actually surprisingly fun.

Listening to your cute boyfriend coo and wonder at little trinkets in shops felt like music to your ears, and his voice alone set off little fireworks of dopamine in your brain. He was like a doting puppy, offering to buy you everything you looked at. Yeah, even if he was kinda broke..

To be honest, it was a little sad when you thought about it too hard. The reason why Riku looked so starry eyed at simple things was because of his isolated childhood, and he could finally see all these pretty things with you only recently. It was easy to notice all these subtle things about him, he drew your attention in like a magnet.

Though, even after all that, you never seemed to notice how his eyes fell on you more often than the shiniest necklace or trinket in the stores.

Interrupting both of your thoughts, Tamaki suddenly appeared, half tripping over a bump in the sidewalk. He let out an undignified squawk, typical of Tamaki. Used as a (poor) disguise, his hat flew off, landing at Riku's feet.

Almost instantly, a girl next to you squealed, dashing over Tamaki like she was on fire.

“IS THAT TAMAKI-KUN?! KYAHH!!”

You let out a sigh, watching the chaos unfold within literal seconds. Right in front of your eyes, you watched as Tamaki’s crowd of fans steadily increased, and inevitably, he spotted you on a date with his center.

Sighing even louder than before, you dragged a hand down your face.

*Why is this happening now of all times..?

Tamaki being Tamaki, tried his very best to divert the fans’ attention away from your date and also get away at the same time. He tried to wave his hand to signal you to escape, but it looked like he was fanning his face instead. The girls ate that up like it was their last meal, squealing even more at the action.

Guilt showed clear as day on Riku's face at the idea of leaving Tamaki like this. He hesitated, his feet staying planted on the ground. You felt the same way, until a glimpse of Sogo caught your eye. Your boyfriend noticed him too, and his shoulders visibly relaxed. Seems like Sogo will save your date today. Riku turned you you and whispered into your ear, grinning.

“Remind me to thank Sogo-san later okay?”

Letting out a relieved huff, you pulled Riku's hoodie further down on his face and he let out a small yelp. Pulling him away by the hand (and trying to ignore how cute that sound was), you quickly dashed away together.

Soon, luck seemed to smile on you both, as a welcoming looking cafe appeared around the corner. Finally, it would really be horrible if Riku had an attack on what was supposed to be a cute date..

As you opened the door, the fresh smell of bread hit you and Riku in the face. He instinctively scrunched his nose up at the sudden change in the air and you barely held back a giggle. He looked like a pissed off bunny right now!

Still smiling at him, you sat down at a booth in the corner of the cafe, private enough for a date. It was quiet too, the room filling with minimal chatter from the few people filling the tables nearby. Light jazz music played from the overhead speakers, the lady's low voice setting the atmosphere.

It was.. really nice, sipping drinks and just talking about nothing in particular with Riku. When there was nothing to be said, a comfortable silence wrapped the both of you. His warm hand covered yours, thumb idly tracing the folds of your palm. His touch was exploring and curious, you couldn't help but shudder a bit. You couldn't- wouldn't pull away though.

Out of the blue, his head drooped down onto the table, like a wilting flower. He was being dramatic, you knew, but his pouty face could bend anyone to his will, and you were definitely no exception.

“Hmm? What is it, Rikkun?”

“..I wanted to look at those shiny things with you for longer..”

You paused. Agreed, it was a little disappointing that you couldn't stare at the pretty rocks for very long. The date was cut off by those fans recognizing Tamaki.

“Maybe next time? After all, we have all the time in the world, right Rikkun?”

He nodded, but looked off to the side, pouting a bit more. His eyes seemed to have hearts floating in them, as he reached across the table (careful not to spill any drinks) and took your hand in his. Kissing the inside of your wrist, he looked up at you with fiery, bright red eyes.

“Mmh.. I want all your attention on me now, no more interruptions, okay?”

[popcornforone]

Speechless

A Javi Gutierrez Fic

Day 13 of Pedrotober

Masterlist

Time for some Sunshine. My sunshine. My Javi G has finally arrived in Pedrotober (thanks as always @norththelemon @alyssamariag for the prompts) & he is just being his soft self as usual.

Synopsis:- You have put on a birthday surprise for Javi.

Word Count:-750

Warnings over & above:- not many if I’m honest teasing swearing insults but this is just being sweet to our man on his birthday.

Thanks for the read peoples. How are we almost half ways.

You hold his hand as you guide him out of the car blindfolded. He’s in his favourite suit. Olive green, & the shiniest shoes you’ve ever seen.

“Baby this really is awakened” he giggles.

“Calm down Javi we are nearly there”

“I mean I’d say good but I have no idea where there is” the gravel crunches beneath both your feet as you walk him around the back of a stately home. “You know I have anxiety right & don’t like surprises”

“Trust me Javi this is one you will never forget”

“Okay bonita”

You slowly walk him around & sit him on a nice plush sofa & make sure everyone who is here, is in position.

“You ready Javi” you’re the more excited person out of the two of you.

“Yes I have been for about a 2 hours” he scoffs.

“Okay you can remove the blind fold now”he does as you ask & as his eyes flicker open, he’s met with amazement.

“Surprise!” Everyone shouts. He’s in a large English stately home that you’ve rented for the night. Friends & family from your side & his around him, including Nicholas Cage & a couple of special people. There’s a huge screen with a projector & he notices a couple of people in the back ground.

“No fucking way is that…”

“Yes” you reply beaming & out walk Hugh Grant & Ben Whishaw who come over & introduce themselves to Javi.

“Sir it’s an honour” Hugh says grabbing his hand for a firm shake.

“Yes” says Ben who then hugs you & then Javi. “Once we’d found out what a super fan you were, we had to come put this on for you”

“Put what on”

“Paddington in Peru” says Ben. “For your birthday, your wonderful other half contacted us & explained what a fan you were of Paddington 2 so we thought why not let one of our biggest fans be the first person to see it”

“I…I…” for the first time in your life Javi is speechless. You can see his eyes welling up as he looks back at you. “You’ve organised all this for me? for my birthday?” He looks like a puppy those big brown eyes swelling.

“Yes Javi” you hear a cough from 2feet away. “I mean Nick helped as well, but yes we wanted you to have the best experience for your special day. I know most 5 year olds want to watch Paddington but who says you can’t be 45 & watch it” Javi the grabs you & pulls you down onto the sofa forgetting everyone is here & kisses you deeply. His tongue inspecting every aspect of your mouth.

“Well this is a bit awkward” Hugh Jokes & you both pull apart & apologise.”… & I should know awkward, I was in the film unfrosted as Tony the Tiger” the room all laughs.

“You were the best part of that film” Javi & you say in unison & then everyone laughs again.

“Why thank you both, but I have been paid so you don’t have to flatter me” Hugh reply’s.

Everyone goes & helps themselves to snacks & drinks in the garden & finds a chair to sit down on. Javi is happy he’s got a pop corn bucket shaped like Paddingtons hat & that next you you both is a bottle of champagne on ice.

As everyone is ready the projector starts to whirl & the film gets ready to play. You kick your shoes off so you can wrap yourself around Javi to watch the film. He carefully moves a stand of your hair & whispers.

“This out does Nick for my 40th by the way” he chuckles.

“Really?” You reply shocked.

“Really” he smiles “I was insulted by Hugh Grant in a stately home while Ben Whishaw looked awkward, best birthday gift ever.”

“Good” you say “cos I had to sell your private jet for this”

“What” Javi almost spits out his popcorn.

“You really don’t get my sarcasm sometimes so you Javi”

“True” he kisses your forehead. His hand squeezes your bum & then you see his eyes widen. “No underwear baby”

“Nope, it’s your birthday. You get to enjoy everything in any way or speed that you want to” the music to the film starts up & Javi slaps your bum.

“Hmmm suddenly this film I’ve waited 6 years to see is suddenly going to become a distraction from the main event later”

[nanamineedstherapy]

The Gojo & Geto KFC Break up: A Reenactment

Summary: Read it if you want to laugh at peak JJK Brainrot. No woranings needed :)

A few hours ago, a classroom at Jujutsu Tech had resembled a warped fever dream more than a place of learning. Sunlight shone ominously over a makeshift KFC setup, complete with a curtain backdrop and a sharpie-painted sign reading "KFC—Sorcerer's Special: Fried Curses" dangling precariously.

The audience? Anyone unfortunate enough to be on campus—essentially everyone, since it was a workday—perched on foldable chairs, waiting. The room buzzed with confused chatter as rows of students and alumni filled the seats, their expressions a mix of bewilderment, annoyance, and existential crisis.

Mei Mei, bribed with a year’s supply of KFC biscuits, strutted forward holding a bedazzled megaphone. “Humans, sorcerers, half-cursed spirits, and freeloaders, welcome to the reenactment of a legend! This evening, you’ll witness heartbreak, betrayal, and fried chicken. Starring Yuki Tsukumo as the undeniably silliest sorcerer Gojo Satoru and Shoko Ieiri as everyone’s favorite broody malewife, Suguru Geto!” She winked, earning groans from the crowd—except for Panda, who whispered to Yuta, “Prepare for war crimes.”

In the background, a fake window opened behind a counter littered with what might have once been chicken or rubber ducks. Sukuna, sporting a crumpled paper hat reading ‘SukuFry King’ and a greasy KFC apron, stuck his head out to advertise. “KFC—get your crispy, juicy pieces right here, while the drama unfolds!”

Hakari leaned back in his chair, a mischievous grin on his face, and shouted, “Twenty bucks says this joint goes up in flames before the credits roll! Who’s in?”

Panda nodded.

In the center sat Toji Fushiguro, chained to his chair. His usual mysterious aura seemed muted by the sheer absurdity of the situation.

“I don’t even like chicken that much,” he muttered, his voice flat. A sign taped to his chest read ‘DO NOT FEED THE MURDERER’, as if that was the real threat here. Most people didn’t recognize him, so they eyed him with suspicion.

Across the room, Sukuna held out a pink Barbie phone to his ear, pretending to call Toji while looking in another direction. “Shut it, Fushiguro Daddy. No one invited you to the feast; you’re just here for the vibes.” He spoke only loud enough for Toji to hear and scowl.

Suddenly, the Barbie phone blared “tunk tunk tun ta ra ra!” at full volume in his ear, echoing through the room. Sukuna jumped, nearly dropping the phone in the very real fryer, shooting a glare at it.

Just then, Yuki, playing Gojo, stormed onto the stage wearing a baby blue crop top that read "Being an atheist got boring, so I shall now be God" and a dollar-store ‘eyelash game savage’ blindfold beneath dark fake glasses. Her fluffy flip-flops slammed against the floor like she was declaring war and fighting on bad fashion’s side. “Everyone loves me,” she announced, arms outstretched like a runway model, pausing for effect. “But no one loves me like KFC chicken does—crispy, juicy, and always there for me!”

She then turned sharply, accidentally addressing the wrong side of the room, i.e., Sukuna, who turned her the right way with one hand over her head. “Suguru,” she intoned, dragging the name out like an eighties villain. “You promised to share in my eternal quest for... fried enlightenment! And if you don’t, I’ll unleash my secret weapon: the extra crispy dance!”

Todo, who had showed up uninvited (again), let out an enthusiastic whistle as Yuki flipped her hair—only for her white hair wig to fly off, revealing the shiniest bald cap anyone had ever seen. He leaped to his feet, clapping. “YES, QUEEN! SLAY!”

Meanwhile, Sukuna pulled out a megaphone he’d stolen from Inumaki. “KFC: Where chicken meets tragedy. Get your two-piece meals at the concession stand!”

Kusakabe raised a hand. “Uh, I thought this was a strategy meeting?”

Todo turned to him. “Kusakabe, my brother! Witness their youth!”

Kusakabe glared. “I will fail you.” Making Todo slump back into his chair.

Yuji leaned over to Megumi, whispering, “Did Todo hit his head again?”

Yuki, now firmly reattached to her wig, struck another pose. “KFC is my soulmate,” she declared, voice dripping with faux heartbreak. “But Suguru—Suguru thinks it’s Mid-FC! The betrayal!”

Sukuna, leaning forward like the Colonel’s most unhinged employee of the month, sneered. “Are you ordering chicken, or am I committing mass murder in five seconds?”

“No one asked you, Sukuna!” Yuki snapped, flinging a napkin at him. Sukuna caught it mid-air, incinerating it with a clawed hand.

From the side, Shoko shuffled forward, cosplaying Suguru Geto with a fake tattoo sleeve, red sparkly buttons on her earlobs, and a tangled, dusty wig being held together with thoughts and prayers in a hoodie titled ‘Cuntest sorcerer of the modern era’. She was carrying a KFC bucket. “Gojo, we need to talk,” she said, forcing her voice deepen into a raspy purr that sounded more I-smoked-all-week than brooding.

Yuki (Gojo) whirled around, her flair so exaggerated she smacked the bucket out of Shoko’s hands. “But why, Suguru?! Is it because I always steal the best pieces of chicken?”

As Shoko (Geto) began her breakup monologue about emotional neglect and chicken, Higuruma (playing Toji) crawled across the stage, like a centipede, toward the fallen chicken bucket. Toru hung around his neck playing wormie. "So... no one’s gonna eat that? Can I—?”

Shoko (Geto) slapped his hand away with disdain. “No, Toji.” She kicked the bucket out of his reach.

Panda’s laugh sounded suspiciously like a car backfiring.

Shoko (Geto) rubbed her temple, "Gojo, why do you always have to be like this? Why can’t you just order a normal meal like everyone else?" She was trying to keep a straight face but kept glancing at the beer can she’d snuck in.

Yuki (Gojo) looked at her, adjusting her blindfold and fake sunglasses, with betrayal. "Because I’m not like other boys, Suguru."

Junpei staired wide-eyed, muttering, “Is this normal?” Mimiko and Nanako patted his shoulders comfortingly.

“Yes,” Mimiko said, deadpan. “Everyone knows about this except for Gojo and Geto-sensei.”

Shoko (Geto) grabbed the bucket from Higuruma’s hands—he’d managed to pluck it from the floor—and tossed it into the audience, where it hit Ijichi square in the face.

Shoko (Geto) yelled, "Gojo, it was NEVER about the chicken. It was about YOU. Always YOU."

Sukuna (KFC employee) sounded suspiciously like a Keren out on hunt, saying, "Are you two gonna order something, or do I have to call homeless control? We have a literal two-piece deal even your broke sorcerer asses can afford—trust me, it’s more fulfilling than your entire life’s purpose!” He paused, raising an eyebrow. “And it comes with a side of regret!”

Yuki (Gojo) scowled at him, "Oh, this isn’t about chicken, King of Ass-Pull techniques. This is about principle!”

She turned to face Shoko, nearly knocking over the cardboard counter in the process.

Megumi groaned into his hands. “Why?”

Nobara slapped his back. “Shut up. This is the best thing I’ve seen all week.”

Ino (as Shoko), fully committed to his role, burst through the side door, a fake cigarette dangling from his lips, looking incredibly done in Shoko’s high-school uniform that revealed his gorilla-level hairy legs. "I can’t have more of you both not communicating with each other and then coming to me crying about your feelings!" he bellowed, waving the fake cigarette around like a deranged conductor's baton. "I’m moving to med school to fake my studies.”

He propped one foot up on a chair, chest puffed out. "Next time you have a meltdown, try punching a wall or something! Seriously, I didn’t sign up for ‘Days of Our Lives: Extreme Oblivious Edition!"

Miguel (playing Ijichi), lugging an absurdly oversized notebook even for his frame, stumbled in after him. “Sensei! I’m taking attendance—oh no. Not again.”

Then from the other door, Choso (playing Nanami), in an absolutely horrendous business suit from the clearance bin, stormed in. "I’m DONE, Gojo. I quit Jujutsu Tech. I’m joining corporate and selling my soul. I don’t have time for fried chicken skits; I want to wake up eight years later and look at my balding head, then wonder where my youth went."

Yuki (Gojo) pointed at him. "You wouldn’t dare ruin my sunflower garden on your head!"

Maki, unimpressed, sighed, “This is why no one respects them.”

Sukuna (KFC employee) adjusted his crumpled paper hat, radiating despair. "Can someone please exorcise me already? No one appreciates the Colonel."

Yuki (Gojo), now focused again after her moment of ADHD, said, "You betrayed me when you ordered boneless chicken wings, Suguru."

Shoko (Geto) shot back, "They’re practical, Satoru!"

Higuruma (Toji), now sitting on the ground, held a cup out toward the audience. "Spare change? Anyone? Please. I’ll take KFC gift cards at this point." He paused, leaning toward Shoko. "Geto, buddy, a nugget? Anything? I’m starving."

Shoko (Geto) shot him a withering side-eye. "Not now, Toji. I’m having a quarter-life crisis."

Higuruma (Toji) nodded solemnly, then held the cup higher toward the crowd. "No worries. Continue. But seriously, just a bite?"

The real Toji groaned in the background, making Sukuna chuckle.

Panda tried to sneak some popcorn from Kirara’s stash, only to be slapped on the paw. Inumaki and Yuta sighed, sharing some shrimp chips with him.

Shoko (Geto), stormed to the counter and slapped down a crumpled 500-yen bill. "Satoru, for the last time, we are NOT ordering bones-only."

Across from her, Yuki (Gojo) leaned on the counter, radiating the kind of energy that came from seven whiskey shots too many. "It’s about the morals, Suguru,” she declared, wagging her finger. "Bones are the soul of fried chicken! How can you betray me by ordering—” She spat the words like a curse, “boneless chicken wings?”

Sukuna sighed from behind the counter, poking at a rubber chicken on a spatula. "This is KFC, not marriage counseling."

“Why am I here again?” Toji growled, tugging at the chains around his ankles, hoping they’d break and he’d make a run for it.

“Because you lost at Uno! Haha Loser!,” Sukuna mocked, a little too unhinged and happy, tossing a handful of napkins into the deep fryer for fun.

Yuki (Gojo) dropped to her knees, hands clutching at thin air like she was performing in a Shakespearean tragedy. "Suguru, don’t leave me! We’ve been through everything together—Mochi! Nanami’s bangs! Chicken!” Her voice cracked, as if each word was ripping her apart.

Within moments, she was sprawled on the floor, flailing her limbs like a soap opera actor who’d just discovered their long-lost twin was actually a disguised alien. "Think of the Nuggets, Suguru!" she wailed, her melodrama reaching new, uncharted heights.

Shoko (Geto) rolls her eyes, stepping back. “That’s exactly the problem, Gojo! You only think about yourself... and chicken!” She picks up the fallen bones-only KFC bucket, shaking it. “This... this symbolizes everything wrong with us.”

Sukuna (still KFC ambassador), now fully leaning out the KFC window, clicks his tongue. “Should’ve gone with the spicy tenders, Suguru. More flavor. Less heartbreak.”

Yuki (Gojo) stands, dusting herself off, looking stoic now. “Fine, Suguru. If you wanna leave... then go. But don’t come crawling back when you realize that no one, NO ONE, makes better chicken-related decisions than I do!”

Shoko (Geto) flips her dusty fake hair, then coughs as it spins around only to land in her mouth. “It’s over, Gojo. You’ve... changed. And it’s not just about the chicken anymore.” 

Somewhere in the back, Todo yelled, “Even Takada-chan loves bone-in chicken.” Earning side-eyes from everyone.

Then Dhoko (Geto) turned her back and continued, “Are you Gojo Satoru because you like bone-in fried chicken, or are you chicken because you hate boneless?" Weirdly enough, making Mimiko and Nanako shed a tear as the rest of the students eyed them awkwardly while Maki and Junpai rubbed their backs.

Higuruma (Toji), crawled back to his spot and sighed. “Breakups are hard, huh? To gain heavenly restriction against ‘em, spare a wing for a guy in need?” He sounded suspiciously like a sleazy pyramid scheme salesman peddling floor cleaner.

“Honestly,” he continued, with a mock-serious tone, “for just five easy payments of emotional trauma, you too can avoid heartbreak forever! Act now, and I’ll throw in a free set of emotional baggage, making you top tear Red-Flag!”

Kashimo (Haibara) floated aimlessly as a poorly conceived ghost prop, holding up a sign that read "Nanami’s fault."

Beside him, Choso (Nanami) buried his head in his hands. “Haibara, you lucky little shit, must be glad you died before witnessing this.”

The door slammed open again, hinges screeching like they were about to quit, as Yourozu (channeling Sukuna with the energy of a feral cryptid) covered in sharpie tattoos burst in, dual-wielding two buckets of KFC. “Yo, these trash humans should ditch the chicken and sell fried human toes!” She howled, spinning one bucket like a fidget spinner.

Before anyone could process the culinary war crime, Kashimo (Haibara), still in a white bedsheet covered with mysterious stains, phased into existence next to her like a glitch in the Matrix. “Honestly? This is the most alive I’ve felt in decades,” he muttered, chewing one enthusiastically.

Yourozu’s (Sukuna) eyes gleamed. “Picture it! Toes—crispy nails on the outside, chewy fleshy core on the inside—portable protein and calcium for cursed spirits on the go!”

Kashimo (Haibara) nodded, as if possessed by the spirit of a business bro (or just Nanami?). “You’re onto something. Pair it with sauces—spicy teriyaki, miso glaze, a dab of mayo. Go full Michelin.”

“‘Sukuna’s Special Toes’!” Yourozu (Sukuna) roared, arms raised like she’d just invented sliced bread. “Limited edition. Toes freshly cursed, aged for maximum crunch. Hurry up for Sukuna’s Toes Cumming near you.”

Kashimo (Haibara), still glowing and looking like a horror movie side character who’s about to narrate the end of the world, declared, “I’d throw my life savings at that. Beats playing ‘haunted tag’ for eternity.”

The room was silent—in horror—as they stared at Yourozu mimicking Sukuna’s trademark smirk, now directed at a chicken nugget she was calling “toe prototype.”

In the middle of it all, Toji was the only one snickering, making real Sukuna chuck his Barbie phone at him from the KFC booth. The phone broke into a million pieces on impact with Toji’s skull before scattering on the floor.

Higuruma (Toji) slides over to real Toji, holding up his empty cup. “Spare change?”

Real Toji handed him a KFC coupon from his back pocket. “Here, go nuts.”

Higuruma’s eyes light up, holding the coupon like it’s a winning lottery ticket. “Now this is the kind of happy ending I deserve.”

Miguel (Ijichi) muttered to himself like a malfunctioning NPC. “One day... one day I’ll grow up to be big and strong... like my amazing senpais…” His voice wobbled, trembling like he was on the verge of tears—or self-combustion—but the sheer tension radiating off him made him look less like a sad little intern and more like an excavator about to explode in the middle of rush hour. His hands shook as he clutched a clipboard for dear life, but his expression screamed, ‘Please don’t ask me how I’m doing,’ while his aura screamed, ‘Ask and you’ll die.’

Real Ijichi looked at him like he was regretting life decisions. “Was I really this pathetic as a junior?” he whispered to himself, trembling. Akari nodded next to him.

Kusakabe folded his arms. “I was told this was a cursed spirit seminar. Where’s the educational value?”

Todo shouted from the back, "The only education you need is learning what kind of woman orders boneless chicken!”

“That’s it! You will be failed AND SUSPENDED from the Sister School Exchange Event. I’ll also ban your entry here so you can’t see Itadori!” Kusakabe yelled while Ijichi tried to calm him down.

Without another word, Todo sat back down. Yuji breathed a sigh of relief.

Back at the counter, Yuki (Gojo) had fully climbed onto the counter, pointing at Shoko (Geto).

“You call yourself my best friend—my soulmate, Suguru—and you order BON—" she choked on the word, “—LESS?!”

Shoko (Geto), completely unfazed, popped a cigarette into her mouth and lit it with the fire emanating from Sukuna’s deep fryer. “They’re practical, Satoru. You don’t have to deal with bones when you’re hungover or just returned from swallowing balls.”

Yuki (Gojo) bellowed.

Panda leaned over to Hakari and whispered, “This is why mammals don’t need wings.”

Hakari nodded.

Yuta stared blankly at the scene unfolding before him, slumped between Panda and Inumaki. “I thought turning my ex-girlfriend into a curse was the lowest point of my life,” he said.

“Same,” Maki replied from the front, rubbing her temples.

Megumi groaned. “This is an insult to women and fried chicken.”

Yuki (Gojo) turned her attention to Sukuna. “You’re the employee here! Tell him he’s wrong!”

Sukuna, now wearing his KFC hat at a jaunty angle, barked out a laugh. “Listen, ‘Delulu iz D Solulu’ ambassador, I just work here.” He sneered, pointing a rubber chicken drumstick like a scepter. “But let me tell you this—no one who orders boneless chicken respects themselves. Or anyone else. They’re the spiritual equivalent of someone who microwaves ice cream.”

The room gasped in collective horror, except for Yuji, who looked genuinely curious about microwaved ice cream. “Does it melt faster?” he whispered to Hakari, who groaned and rubbed his temples.

Real Toji, visibly done with everyone’s nonsense, muttered, “I’ve killed men for less.”

“Shut up, Toji,” Yuki snapped, chucking a ketchup packet at him. “You’re only here because Sukuna thought it’d be funny.”

“Damn right, it’s funny,” Sukuna quipped, flipping rubber ducks in the fryer.

The crowd noise reached a crescendo when Shoko (Geto) grabbed a tray of fries and shoved them at Yuki. “Fine! If you’re so obsessed with bones, why don’t you eat these? They're BONES of the potato world!”

The insult hit harder than expected. Yuki (Gojo) gasped, clutched her chest like she’d been stabbed, and fell onto the counter.

“I—CAN’T—BELIEVE THIS—” she wailed.

Choso (Nanami) yelled from the audience, “Haibara, take me now!”

Kusakabe muttered, "You idiots called me from Kyoto for this?"

Akari sighed. “It’s a recurring nightmare; just go with it. It’ll be over soon.”

Soon Shoko (Geto) threw her cigarette into the fryer. The grease exploded.

Ino (Shoko) yelled from the door, “The principal’s on the way! Save yourselves, peasants!” He bellowed then, without missing a beat, hitched up his (Shoko’s high school) skirt like a Disney princess mid-escape and yeeted himself out the nearest window, purple boxers on full display like a chaotic pride flag. He landed in a somersault that was either pure James Bond or budget Brokeback Mountain, depending on how you squinted, before taking off with all the grace of a pigeon dodging traffic.

Sukuna burst through his cardboard KFC window in a single fluid motion, like an Olympian who moonlighted as a feral mothman. With zero hesitation, he grabbed Real Toji by the collar and yeeted him like a human projectile. The chair and Toji soared through the air in cursed synchronization before crashing into the nearest bush with a sound so loud it startled three crows into orbit.

Quickly turning around, Sukuna then yelled out. “Alright, that’s it. Everyone get out before I curse this entire campus for being budgetarily impaired. I swear, even the vending machines are in a dollar drought.”

Todo stood up. “You can’t curse me; I’m too strong.”

“Shut up, best friendo,” Nobara snapped, kicking the back of his chair.

Yaga stormed in, looking like he’d aged ten years in ten seconds, forced to babysit an entire fraternity. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING?!” he roared, veins on his forehead threatening mutiny.

Higuruma (Toji but with none of the chill) bolted upright like a startled meerkat, clutching his KFC coupon like it was the last horcrux. “I’m out!” He ran offstage, tripping over Yuki, who was sprawled out on the floor. Making Toru abandon him for Megumi.

Meanwhile, Shoko—now in a baldcap (she had flung her Suguru wig without looking, making it land atop Todo)—was casually guiding Yuki offstage by dragging her flip-flop-clad feet, as Yuki grabbed random stage props since she still couldn’t see through her Hellen Killer blindfold and fake sunglasses combo. “Just... pretend you had cataract surgery,” Shoko whispered. “But don’t quote me; I’m not an ophthalmologist.”

Todo, now crowned by the discarded rag-like wig, was deep in character as Takada-chan’s split personality, striking a pose. “Shake ‘em buns,” he intoned with grave sincerity, the words heavy with meaning only he could comprehend.

Mei Mei, still holding the megaphone, announced smugly, “And that concludes tonight’s performance! Tips are accepted in cash or chicken.”

Sukuna tips his paper KFC hat. “Always a pleasure, Yaga. If you ever need us for another reenactment—”

Yaga cuts him off, pointing to the door. “I’d rather face Mahito.”

As the “actors” leave the stage, Higuruma (Toji) waves his KFC coupon in the air, victorious.

“Take that! Student Debt!” then turns face and runs away when Yaga gives him a death glare.

Yaga sighed as the students scrambled to leave, laughter echoing down the halls.

“Next time,” Yaga growled in the hallway, “I’m calling the Zen’in clan to babysit you all.”

Sukuna shrugged. “Good luck with that; strong ones are already here.”

But before Yaga could question him, the curtains fell—they really fell because Yuji decided to lean on them like they were a support group for his Paranormal Finger Munchies. “...My bad,” he muttered, slowly backing away.

Megumi sighed and turned away in embarrassment, with Toru, who was apparently the real protagonist of this story (in her mind), and began walking off in silent protest. Toru, nestled in his arms, purred loudly while striking poses that screamed, Servant, paint me like your French girls, her little primordial pouch hangin out like it’s own cursed womb.

“HEY! My turn to hold Toru!” Nobara yelled, storming after them with the energy of a rabid raccoon. She grabbed at Toru’s tail, but Megumi expertly pivoted, keeping the cat out of her reach like they were playing keep-away with a sacred relic. Panda tried to go after Nobara to stop her but was tackled by Maki and Kirara for lunch money he promised he’d pay them back.

Toru winked at Nobara. If cats could flip people off, she absolutely would have.

Meanwhile, Inumaki had somehow managed to snatch Toru’s tiny sunglasses and was attempting to wear them over one eye. The result? He looked like a certain one-eyed cryptid who’d stumbled out of the depths of urban legend forums.

“Shake!” Inumaki declared, striking a pose.

“Give those back before you snap them,” Yuta ran after him, diving to wrestle the sunglasses out of Inumaki’s hands. But Inumaki was faster, shimmying his shoulders like a little gremlin, the glasses barely hanging on as he cackled in triumph.

The scene devolved further when Nobara tackled Megumi, sending both of them—and Toru—tumbling to the ground along with Maki, Kirara, and Junpei. Hakari took pictures for blackmail later. Toru leapt out unscathed, jumping into Ijichi’s arms, who held her like a bomb waiting to explode before passing her off to Kusakabe, where she purred like she’d planned it all along.

“Finally, someone in this room with taste,” Sukuna muttered, placing the KFC paper hat on Toru’s head. Akari leaped into action like a caffeinated kangaroo, ready to snap pictures of Toru: the Kaisen to our Jujutsu’s official Instagram page; yes, Toru had an Instagram page now in only 12 hours of arrival.

Yuji whispered to Nanako and Mimiko, “Do you guys think Toru likes boneless chicken?”

Sukuna turned sharply, his glare a thousand curses being unleashed at once. “Don’t you dare, brat.”

Choso and Kashimo sprinted into the practice grounds. “Take me now, best friend!" Choso (Nanami) yelled at Kashimo, who tried to float away only to bump into a pole with a reverberating clang, due to him still being in the white bedsheet.

The chaos reached a fever pitch, props flying and nonsensical shouting echoing across the school grounds. Then, the intercom crackled to life with Gojo’s unmistakably irritated voice.

“Whoever’s using my name for this nonsense,” he drawled, his tone sharp enough to cut glass, “meet me on the roof in five minutes. I’m bringing purple.”

Dead silence fell over the scene, everyone frozen mid-chaos like cursed mannequins.

Then, another voice rang out, smooth and resonant, with a cadence that could only belong to one person. “I’ll bring Ratio.”

Before anyone could process, another voice—Geto’s—purred smoothly through the speakers. “And you know what I’ll bring.”

From the far end of the grounds, Yuki, still being dragged unceremoniously by Shoko, cheered loudly, “Spicy Cunt!” Then proceeded to clap like she had won Family Feud, her whiskey count showing.

Shoko groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose as she dragged Yuki faster. “Why are you making this harder, woman?!”

Panic erupted. Every actor scrambled like rats off a sinking ship, tossing clothes, props, and fragments of dignity to the wind as they bolted in random directions. Each was determined to pretend they had absolutely nothing to do with whatever Gojo was about to obliterate from existence.

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

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thinking about a deathmatch tournament (kinda hunger games-ish) set in the borderlands universe. functionally it's like CES but instead of consumer electronic expo it's... corporate exposition showdown, or something.

and event formed after the corporate wars as a sort of 'well, we aren't technically at war anymore, but we still really want to kill each other also bloodsport is REALLY good for echonet views' kinda deal.

corps equip their teams with this quarter's shiniest new murder toys to show off to the trillions watching across the galaxies via echostream. it's all just one giant ad, but they dress it up like a red-carpet event, their champion teams treated like stars before they're sent off to tear each other to pieces.

usually the most elite corp soldiers gleeful to die for their overlords (and the promise of a gargantuan bonus ((if they live)) but sometimes lunatics like torgue will hire vault hunters. sure they might turn on you at the drop of mox's little hat but you can't deny their obscene capacity for murder and unquestioning loyalty to a fat paycheck they'll do literally whatever you tell them for. not so different from corp soldiers in that regard.

corporate sponsorships and audience donations from the stream's viewers rake in billions. trillions. (bazillions?) people donate based purely on company loyalty (console war bro peabrain mentality). donate 100,000 creds to air drop your favourite team an ammo resupply! stream extensions let you see what they're using (with a link to preorder! that new tediore smg is just a prototype and doesn't actually exist yet but of course you can preorder it anyway!)

all for the sake of a useless e-peen trophy and bragging rights. until next year.