#and the safety she feels being with him - implants working or not - is crazy

[wooriid]

“I do love you, Goro. 

In all the cheesy, romantical, old school ways that exist - I do love you so very much.

I love your eyes, sometimes square windows into your soul, sometimes as hard and unbreakable as Black Ice. Artificial yet so full of life. I love how carefully you chose your face implants to perfectly match your delicate features. Love every little imperfection in your face, your graying hair, your sweet sweet wrinkles, all these beautiful and unique traits age has gifted to you. I love the rare laughs, most intimate and private, as much as I love your earnestness, calmness and prudence whenever we go out with our friends. I love you with all your flaws and strengths, love your lips kissing me, your hands - these beautiful augmented, strong hands - touching my body so incomprehensibly gentle. You once told me that our age difference was one of your greatest concerns. I can assure you that all of them were unfounded, that your maturity is grounding me, calming me in a sense I never knew and never thought I’d ever experience. I cannot imagine my life without you anymore, I already lost myself in you, my body and soul addicted to you.

So… I assure you, with all my heart and spirit, I do love you Goro Takemura.”

(she once felt he needed reassurance….)

[foxgirlintestines]

The one piece of advice I can really give to younger trans girls is that you really need to embrace the parts about you that you actually liked pre-transition. There is often that crushing weight of gloom and self loathing that comes with severe dysphoria that tells you that everything about you is wrong, but that can just your mind being clouded with negative emotions, and it becomes harder to see the positives. In the end, though, you probably aren't going to become a perfect barbie doll, and that's ok, but striving to become something like that can drive you crazy.

When I first transitioned, I just wanted to be a girl, no ambiguity, just look like a stereotype. It was never really possible, I'm almost 6 and a half feet tall, and the women in my family are not thin, when I got on estrogen I gained weight fast, and it did not go to all the right places. I wallowed in bed a lot, and I just kind of kept getting worse. Oddly enough, it was getting into fetish content where less standard body types were lusted after more than regular anime proportion waifus where I started to see some of the more positive aspects of being amab. I was tall, strong, could be threatening and having a big squishy gut was actually quite attractive. I started to remember things about me when I was younger that I kind of pushed out of my mind. I was the "guy" who would run the mile in PE then casually walk along-side my friends and keep them company so that they didn't get teased, and one time I picked up my overweight friend and just carried her the last bit of the way because she was exhausted and the teacher couldn't really do anything about it because even as a young teenager I towered over him. In theater when there were heavy props to move I just lifted them up and tossed them around when we didn't have grip present. When we were out drinking in college, I was the "safety" who intimidated people so they would not try and take advantage of the drunk girls. I am big, and even if is not very feminine, I like that about me.

I changed my transition goals, I started working out again, not just cardio exercises to lose weight, but weightlifting, squats while holing a barbell, throwing around a medicine ball, and doing laps around my backyard while holding a ~150lb dead tree I ripped out of the ground while doing yardwork on my shoulder. I got healthier, I got happier, and much to my new endocrinologist's chagrin I've been gaining more weight, though now it's muscle. There are still plenty of things that I changed to be feminine, I wear my hair long, I wear girly clothes, often cute shirts with open tops that show off my large arms shoulders and cleavage, and mini-skirts. I put on make-up, lots of bold goth get-ups with heavy eyeliner black lipstick and glittery deep grey eyeshadow. Long painted nails, jewelry, hell sometimes a sparkly rhinestone tiara when I really want to ham it up, cute open toe heels when not wearing my big stompy boots, and of course the biggest one (pun intended) my massive boobs that I got the largest implants legal to be used in the US to make me busty as hell. I don't look like a barbie, and I no longer want to. I'm to the point that people often don't know whether to call me sir or ma'am, but the fact that people say sir or ma'am meekly like they are afraid of getting it wrong is way better gender confirmation than being called "lady."

I am happy now, well, at least happy with my body, there is plenty of shit in the world that still makes me depressed as hell. At least I no longer feel that dysphoria, and it makes those other things a bit more manageable. I think even if I did achieve my original transition goals, I would not be as happy with my body as I am now. You got to find that about yourself too, sometimes you will actually miss things about who you used to be, even if those times were overall worse.

As a silly little comparison, these two pictures of my fursona (which reflect my ideal body type) were made before and after I accepted the things about my body that I didn't want to change.

[oss-crime]

Chapter 5-Escape of the Witch Salmhofer; Scene 8

Original Sin Story: Crime, pages 202-209

Ever since Gammon’s revolt, an uneasy political situation had carried on in the Twelve Royal Capitals.

The members of the senate were comprised of the heads of the twelve families that ruled over each town—that had been the standard procedure. But Gammon had decided to repeal this and dismiss each of the present members, starting with his father.

However, this caused great deal of backlash. Fearing it would reignite the fires of conflict anew, Gammon established a meeting with the twelve families, and ultimately decided to make the sons of each family into the new senate members.

Due to this, the new senate wound up being comprised largely of young people in their twenties.

Gammon made public that the queen had been in a brainwashed state by Miroku for many years.

“From now on I vow to return to the proper governmental system with the queen at its core.”

Gammon’s decree had relieved the people.

On the other hand, around this point much of the populace had also learned of the queen’s prophecy that foretold the world’s destruction.

As anxieties about this matter began to spread, the new senate headed by Gammon decided to revive Project “Ma”—

.

“—And I’m the one who has been ordered to take responsibility for it…Me, Seth Twiright.”

They were in a room in the Royal Research Institute.

Seth had explained all this to Meta, who was herself seated in a chair.

Outside the room she could hear several people walking about. They were all researchers that Seth had newly hired on, but their true identity was that of the government’s information bureau.

In other words, they were guards there to keep Meta from escaping.

“…So then, when these children are born—” Meta patted her belly, which had grown larger. “You’re saying I’ll become the next queen?”

But Seth sadly shook his head at her question.

“The details of the second Project ‘Ma’ are slightly altered from the previous one…The ‘mother of the gods’ will be able to achieve a sizable reward and commensurate status—but the position of queen will still be performed by Alice Merry-Go-Round.”

“…So the ‘mother of the gods’…only exists to give birth to the ‘Twins of God’.”

“If we didn’t have it that way, the senate would never have given permission for you, a non-virgin, to be fertilized with the ‘Seed of God’, yes?”

But Meta had qualified as an “Ma” candidate back in the first project as well. When she asked Seth about that, he explained with a shrug of his shoulders, “Back then the government still hadn’t obtained any conclusive proof of your and Pale’s relationship.”

“That’s surprisingly sloppy of the government.”

“It’s an issue of them not having a sense of the impending crisis. There’s still a few decades before the time of the destruction—the ‘Gear of Twilight’. For most people, it’s the many issues that are more immediately in front of them that take priority.”

“…”

“But that’s not so for Gammon. He has met with the queen personally—and most likely came into contact with the ‘truth’. Though I don’t know the specific contents of it. At any rate, he has privately become quite desperate to stop the world’s destruction. To the point where he is no longer concerned with keeping up appearances.”

So then…that was the reason why he was seeking an “Ma” candidate that was magically strong, regardless of whether or not they were a criminal.

Meta had already had a “Seed of God” implanted in her stomach by Seth.

She had become pregnant soon after, and started to live hidden away from the world in the royal research institute.

The people most likely had not been made aware of the fact that it was Meta who bore the “Twins of God”.  If it got out that the “Witch of Merrigod” were the “Mother of the Gods”, there’s no way there wouldn’t be an uproar about it.

In all likelihood, once the “Twins of God” were born that fact would be made public by Gammon, and they would be accepted into the populace with great celebration.

But Meta herself—

I’ll be forced to change my name and live as someone else…I suppose that would be preferable. There’s always a chance they’ll kill me to shut me up.

As far as society was concerned, Meta had already been executed in Lighwatch temple.

At the very least, the current government wasn’t a monolith. She could determine that from how Seth had gone out of his way to pull off such a trick to save her (though she didn’t know if it was something he had done on his own or if Gammon had ordered him to). If Yegor had been in on it, there wouldn’t have been any need to fake her death like that.

Though Seth had promised Meta’s safety, there was no guarantee that others would feel similarly.

And Meta didn’t even trust Seth to start with.

The reason why she was still cooperating with him regardless—

“…Hey. Is Pale okay? I wanna see him.”

She had posed this question to Seth several times before.

Each time she did he would dodge the question—

But today was different.

“Relax. I’m a man of my word.”

“Then—”

“Just like you, Pale Noel was executed publicly. But—”

“—He’s actually still alive. …Did you use the same methods as with me?”

“No. I examined him while in prison as a doctor, and…it seemed that Pale’s body had developed some defects. –He can’t maintain his own body without absorbing magical energy from other people.”

Meta had known that already.

But where was he going with this?

“Couldn’t you just…do something about that when he got out of prison?”

“That wouldn’t work. It was my estimation that as he was, Pale wouldn’t have much longer to live. …So I figured this was a good time to have him swap bodies.”

“I…don’t understand what you mean.”

“In that case—I should probably have you see for yourself.” Seth clapped his hands. “Enter.”

On cue the door opened, and a boy entered the room.

“Who’s this kid?” Meta asked.

The one to answer was not Seth, but the boy himself.

“Long time no see, Meta…It’s me, Pale.”

“…Wha?”

Obviously, the Pale that Meta knew wasn’t a boy like this, but an adult man.

But…now that she looked at him properly, his features did seem to resemble Pale’s somewhat.

“Er…So you mean…”

“You must be confused. But—it’s okay. I’ll take this opportunity to explain it all to you.” Pale turned to Seth. “I assume you don’t mind…Brother.”

Seth nodded wordlessly.

Once he’d seen that, Pale turned back to Meta.

“I—am a ‘ghoul child’.”

“…Ghoul child?”

“An artificial human created inside a beaker. My body and personality were all constructed by Seth.”

“You…expect me to believe such a crazy story?”

Pale pointed to Meta’s belly as she drew in her shoulders.

“It’s sort of like—the twins inside your stomach. The only difference is that their mother is a human woman instead of a glass vessel…that’s all it is.”

“…”

Certainly…on the point that they weren’t created by natural intercourse between a man and woman but rather an experiment of Seth’s—

They were the same.

Pale leaned against the wall, and continued his explanation.

“For some time now, Horus—or rather, Seth—has been performing research into the artificial construction of life to make the ‘Next Queen Project’ a reality. The construction of ‘ghoul children’…like myself…could be called a subspecies, or variant, of that.”

“…”

Meta silently listened to him speak, her hands resting on her expanded belly.

This boy’s way of speaking was the same as Pale’s that she knew so well.

“—Though it hasn’t been as simple as all that. Ever since I became an adult, I came to be afflicted with a problem of magical energy…Though that was better than the alternative. The ‘ghoul child’ made after me was just kept in storage as an empty shell, without a personality.”

Pale said that the body he was currently using was recycled from that “empty shell” that had been kept in storage.

“It took quite a bit of time to get my spirit affixed to this body…So we weren’t able to meet like this until now.”

“…You…knew all of this before?”

“Yeah. That’s why I…once ordered you to kill my brother. I had thought—that if I could get rid of the original of me, “Seth”, then I would become the “real” one.”

“Pale…My beloved Pale…My poor Pale…”

Meta stood and walked over to Pale, crouching down and embracing her love.

“…”

Pale looked over at Seth, his short arms around Meta’s back.

“Brother—Could you let me speak to Meta alone for a little bit?”

“…Ah, very well. I’m not so boorish as to get in the way of a lover’s meeting.”

Seth nodded and left the room, humming to himself.

.

--For a short while, the two of them continued to hold each other without a word.

Eventually, Pale whispered to Meta, “Meta…Let’s run away.”

“…!?”

“I can survive like this. There’s…no need for you to do as Seth says.”

“But—”

Meta looked down.

She was looking at her own belly, where her twins resided.

Pale nodded in understanding.

“—That’s right. It’ll be hard to escape with your body heavy with child. When you’re stable after the birth, I’ll…create a diversion. You’ll have to be patient until then.”

“…Alright, I understand.”

“Apocalypse is on the brink of destruction. But as long as we’re together…we can start over again.” Pale pulled away from Meta. “I’ll have to be going home soon.”

“…Where are you living now?”

“Seth’s house. Publicly, I’m his nephew.”

When Pale opened the door, Seth was waiting there to greet him.

“Are you done talking? Then let’s get going.”

Thus prompted, Pale left with Seth.

It almost seemed to Meta as though his limbs were bound with a thin string tied to Seth’s finger.  

<<prev------directory------next>>

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Cards & Falling Asleep scene-- Raymond’s POV

This is a scene that isn't intended to be part of the story, which is from Terran's perspective, but nonetheless an important one.

Some context: Raymond has asked Terran to stay over to get to know him better. Raymond has mental magic, meaning he can sense and influence people's minds. He's also facing a bit of a situation that Terran doesn't fully know the details of.

I don't think I need and trigger warnings?

Under the cut

War had been the only card game I could think of that might actually get him out of his head. Definitely the only one I was pretty sure he knew. It was a simple, dumb game with no strategy, no bluffing, no prediction. I think he was trying to anyway, counting cards a bit, but there was nothing to do about it. You put the next card down, that’s all there is to it.

I think I’d rattled him a little with the visualizing thing. I hadn’t even been sure he’d be able to see it if I implanted an image, but I knew he had by the bewilderment on his face. And oh my god, I’ve never seen him bewildered. Occasionally I’d seen him surprised, plenty of times he’s been frustrated, maybe even confused in a flustered way. And it was so fun, he was capable of bewilderment,there were things he didn't know. Of course, there were plenty of things I thought he was wrong about, and I knew in a way he was sheltered… was sheltered the right word? His world and perspective was narrow, specialized. 

We flipped over cards, my jack beating his 5, and I swiped the cards off the bed and put it in my pile. He was intently watching the space in front of us, waiting for me to flip over the next one, but I had to pause to jog my pile, and it was kind of interesting to look at him when he was focused on something but not focused on it. Usually his intense look made me uneasy, but right now it didn’t. 

I flipped over my top card and he flipped his. I stared at the cards for a second, and he broke his gaze to look at me.

“It’s a 9, you get it.”

I smiled, laughing at myself, and grabbed them. I hadn’t been sure it was a 9 or a 6, but either beat his 4 anyway. We kept going, a steady rhythm of flipping and grabbing, but when I paused, staring at a 7 and a 3, he chuckled at me.

I took the cards and shot him a playful glare. 

“Do you need to review your numbers?” he asked, a grin pulling at his mouth, and he was teasing me and it just made me smile more.

“I haven’t taken a math class in two years,” I said, defending myself.

“And in that time have you not encountered numbers?” He flipped over another card, and we continued playing, and I tried to think of a good retort, but our numbers matched, so we declared war and he took the pile. “Hey.”

“Not my fault, it’s the cards.”

“Bad cards.” I’d run out so I grabbed my discard pile. 

“They’re your cards.”

“They’re the hotel’s cards,” I corrected, then remembered. “Actually they’re the last hotel’s cards.”

Terran paused and looked at me, raising an eyebrow. I raised mine mischievously. It’s been an accident, I’d swiped everything off the bedstand into a bag and only realized when I’d unpacked. I was considering it being a thing, that I steal each hotel’s playing cards and leave the last’s as a joke, but I knew Terran wouldn’t approve of that idea, and it was probably a bad one anyway. Besides, I was worried someone would get in trouble. It was best to be the perfect guest. So I shrugged it away. 

“Well, that explains why they don’t like you,” he said, and the carrying of the joke and lack of disapproval surprised and thrilled me. 

Still though, I didn’t know how to respond, and our attention returned to the cards. The only sound became the sound of cards flipping over, and before long he’d gotten almost the entire deck.

I didn’t mind. It was nice to play cards with him. I’d played cards a good amount— it was a good thing to do between studying. I’d played with Jodi a lot, we’d gotten really intense about playing Gin. When her friends joined we’d play Hearts or Cheat, but you really needed more than two players for that. I’d never bothered to buy a deck, somehow we could always find one and every hotel I’d ever been at provided one. I’d thought of playing cards as a possibility, but as soon as I’d sensed that memory—all I’d gotten was a poker chip, fire, and fear—I’d remembered the few times we’d played cards back before, and remembered that he’d played cards with Zachary. And it wasn’t a game then. I’d never been sure what it was exactly, but I’d sensed that it wasn’t fun. They treated it like an exercise in fucking over each other. 

Not something I wanted to bring into this space. Not when the entire point of this was so I could know who he was outside of that. 

This was working, though. The playful teasing, the grin he’d shoot me sometimes— that was what I’d wanted. And I could feel him more relaxed than I’d ever known him, and I got the feeling that this was him— more himself than he’d ever been. 

Or maybe I was hoping it was so much. Maybe I was extrapolating the good parts and ignoring the bad. He was good at acting, and I wasn't sure if being unfocused fixed that. Playful teasing wasn’t too far from the witty sarcasm he sometimes employed. Maybe he was acting, always.

But for a second he looked at me, and there was something there in a quick glance, something I don’t think was acting. Because if there’s one thing Terran can’t do, it’s flirt, even if it’s fake or would be beneficial. That was what really made me realize that it was an act, that it wasn’t really him. Sneaking a glance like that wasn’t a planned flirt. He didn’t even pick up on me flirting with him— that I knew, because I’d snuck a peek once while placing a hand on his leg. He was likely teasing me because he’d learned it from me. 

I have no idea if he likes me, though. I want to take a snuck glance as a sign, but with him, I have no idea. I’m pretty sure all of that—flirting, dating, attraction—is something he’s never really had to interact with. 

And it doesn’t even matter. That’s not the point. Does it thrill me to have him so close, to actually feel him reaching out to me? Sure. But I don’t care right now if it means something like that or if it’s just desperation. Because he doesn’t get comfort or safety, I know that, or affection in any way. Zachary doesn’t give affection. Mika can be very affectionate but no way she’d give him any. Maybe I’m flirting, but maybe I'm giving him something he needs, because how can I even expect him to be better without getting any positive connections? So this is for him, too— to actually give him some connection.

But it might be cruel, too. Might end up being worse. Which is why I really hope at the end of this I trust him, because I really, really want his help. 

I’d been so distracted I don't even realize that I’ve stolen back a good portion of the deck. “You’re making a comeback,” he says, and I look down to see that I have, and now I focus on the cards and continue to steal away his until he places his last card down, and 8, and I turn over my queen and smile, taking the last card and the pile. 

“You win,” he says, and leans over, lying down on the pillows, and he’s closer to me now and I can tell he’s tired. He’s usually tired, constantly casting a spell takes up a lot of energy and I don’t think he sleeps very well either. I considered offering to put him to sleep— after studying sleep cycles I experimented with myself. Problem was once I got to stage 2 I wasn’t conscious enough to purposefully go into REM, but then I brought it up with Jodi and she gave me permission to try it on her. Being in someone’s mind while they’re in REM is a really cool feeling, very intimate. It’s vulnerable in a real way, a way I didn’t expect. It’s really hard to get into someone’s mind while they’re asleep, but it turns out already being in opens up so much because all mental defenses are lowered. I don’t think Terran would appreciate the offer.

Instead, I say, “It’s kind of a relief for you to know about the college thing.”

“Oh?” He's still leaning against the pillow. 

I lean back so I’m next to him. “I didn’t want to keep it a secret but I know you don’t approve.” he looked like he was going to respond, so I added, “and I don’t want to hear it now.”

He stayed quiet.

“But I did want to just because I’ve learned a lot. How our minds work, even how our magic works. It’s crazy how much I was going on instinct before, but also how I was right about some things. I know where I’m going now, know what I’m doing.”

“You’ve always been smart,” he said, and his voice was sleepy, which was really sweet in a way I didn't expect, and I looked at him and he looked really tired but he was still watching me. 

I brushed away the compliment. “I did well in school because Mom taught me how to improve memory. You’re always a step ahead of me unless I lie to you.”

“No,” he replied.

“I don’t know my numbers, remember?”

This time his eyes were closed. “Numbers aren’t that important. You’re smart. You’ve always been.”

I didn't respond. My instinct was to argue with it but then I remembered Jodi telling me to stop arguing whenever I got a compliment. I hadn’t been smart enough to avoid Zachary. Hadn’t enough even to listen to Terran and stay far away from Calson. Hadn’t been smart enough to keep Jodi out of it, or Jesse.

I felt him fall asleep, drifting off. Felt him, relaxed. I stayed where I was for a while, just looked at him. His hair flopping against the pillow, his face relaxed for maybe the first time I’d ever seen it. I had the urge to reach out, to touch his face, his hair, but I decided against it, keeping my hands resting on the blanket. 

I wish I didn’t trust him so much. This whole thing, testing him— it’s testing me. Proving or disproving for myself. Maybe I shouldn’t be testing him anyway. I keep trusting him. I trust him without even thinking about it— saying I didn't was a lie, projecting the frustration that he didn’t trust me. But I shouldn’t trust him, not as much as I did. Did I trust him just because I liked him? Or did I trust him just because he’d saved my life? Maybe it was just gratitude. 

I got up, finding a quilt they’d put in the lower drawer and laying it over him so he’d have some warmth. He was in REM already. Dropping straight into REM was unusual, his body must be desperate for sleep. Moving him would have been close to impossible, and no way would I risk waking him. If I could I’d keep him in REM just so he could get a good night’s sleep, but it would bounce up to stage 4 and 3 soon. I undressed enough that I could sleep comfortably and turned off the light, getting under the covers enough so I was covered but didn’t disturb him, and closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep.

My chest tensed up. I was breathing shallowly, not deeply like I should be. My mind was alert—I could hear every sound, but specifically his breathing. Sleep breathing. I knew that. Slow and light. But all of me was alert to him and his presence and how close he was and I realized in an uncomfortable moment that it wasn’t a “Someone I like is very close to me” kind of alert.

I was scared.

Why was I scared? Why was my brain doing the “predators are close, not safe to fall asleep” signal? Hadn’t I just been trying to figure out why I trusted him so easily?

Maybe I didn’t trust him. At least not enough to sleep next to him. Not enough to give up consciousness around him. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

It dragged on. I stayed still trying to tell myself to relax. Even trying to do what I’d done before, use magic to bring me into stage 1, but as soon as I tried to get to the next step I found myself fully aware again. 

I stared at him. He was the vulnerable one right now. He was asleep, not conscious in the slightest. Not me. Although I suppose he could wake before me.

I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. He wouldn’t harm me. He’d fucking risked his life for me. I knew that. And I knew he was always fighting me just because it was to keep me safe. And I knew he wasn’t the person he’d once been.

But I kept remembering that. Remembering that person. We’d reached a point of some level of friendship even before he’d saved me. But even then I’d been uneasy, alert. Watching my step. Knowing he was watching and judging me and it wasn't just about impressing him. Knowing how easily he could kill a person, without being barraged with guilt and thoughts of who that person was or could have been. Knowing that he viewed that in me as a weakness. I’d never expected him to save me. I hadn’t even expected to beg for my life, I’d accepted it. 

I’ve always been skeptical of the claim that fear and love are close. And it was love— even without attraction or romance or anything like that, I knew love, and I loved my friends and my family and Terran had become both, somehow. But now, staring at him, fear washing over me, maybe they were closer or more interchangeable than I thought.

Maybe I didn’t trust him. I should trust my body’s reactions, shouldn’t I? I should trust this fear, this instinct. I’ve never been good at instinct. Mika had been, she’d just deferred to me. And I thought it out, but not in the way that Terran did. He assumed people were lying, looked for reasons not to trust them, and I looked for reasons to trust them. So maybe I’d been wrong about Terran. Maybe that was the logical explanation for this. 

Or maybe, I realized, this wasn’t about him at all. Terran was a distraction from the real problem I was facing. A distraction from thinking about Jodi and the message and what I was going to do. 

I hadn’t planned to beg for my life. I’d made a decision and been ready to die for it. Just like now. But then when I was facing him, knowing it was about to end, I found myself asking, found myself reaching out to someone I wasn’t sure I could reach. I hadn’t wanted to die when it was facing me head on, and now it was again so of course I was scared. Of course I couldn’t sleep when it was very possible this was one of my last nights.

[betweentheracks]

Heyo! Not to be too nosy here but you mentioned you're in bad health and recovering, and I just wondered what happened? Also how would it impact your career since, from how you've made it all seem thus far, it's a highly active and demanding job?

Hope you take care and get well! You appear quite strong and not like you'd take whatever has happened just lying down, so here's to you!! 🙏💓

No sweat and no worries here, I dont find this particularly invasive. If anything, I'm flattered you care to ask after me lol. 😁

A few weeks back I met a friend I hadn't seen in some time for lunch. This was against my better sense of caution that I've held firmly to throughout the pandemic, but I would feel regretful and dismissive if I didnt agree to see her while I had the chance. I should've listened my gut and stayed safely at work because this "friend" failed to mention she had tested positive (she knew already by the time of our lunch date, she has since admitted) and had figured since she had no symptoms there was no harm in being in public.

FF only a few days later and I was feeling a little unwell but had put it off as an effect of the winter blast that had just hit where I live. I'd spent half a day out in the cold and snow for a photoshoot only the day before and thought it was probably due to that since I'm susceptible to weather influenced head colds and bronchitis. Fortunately, my job mandates a rigid COVID-19 screening twice a week due to our high profile clientele and as an assurance of health and safety for us all. Mine read back with a positive and with the way I had been feeling I was immediately sent home and the company closed its doors while the building was sterilized and our clients notified.

Thankfully I managed not to infect anyone I work with nor my son. Regrettably, I did infect my best friend since we're horrifically incapable of maintaining personal space and have weak shit immune systems. We both agree it is a wonder we made it this far into plague times without it catching us.

So I went and got looked over and sent on my way with my prescription of potent anti-virals and steroids. I was well prepared to abide the quarantine guidelines and had sent my son to my mother's home for the duration so that he was out of the danger zone. It was fine, I was kinda cool and keen on getting a few days to myself to rest up and all that jazz. But it wasn't meant to last and I found trouble in the form of being unable to remain conscious much at all and would pass out constantly. After a few times of this I gave my brother (he's a doctor and vaccinated) a ring and told him that my fatigue was no joke dude and needed him to come give me a better once over than the one I'd gotten before bc I was sure I was not meant to feel this badly. He found me unconscious in the shower that night, my head battered from crashing to the basin.

After ensuring I wasn't concussed and jokes on what a hard head I have to take such a beating and show no signs of registering it beyond bruising (a joke between us due to him having once accidentally put a golf club into my forehead and fracturing my skull but that's a different story) he told me to call him regularly so that he can review how I feel and the progression of my symptoms and left. By the morning I had already had two more instances of sudden fatigue and collapsing in on myself. I had been posting on my main blog here about how I was doing and due to this I caught the concern of @peekbackstage and upon their suggestion to have my O2 levels tested it was revealed that I was having issues with my blood not circulating oxygen as it should and nearing hypoxia.

Here's the rub. I have a heart condition that is already very dangerous and bleak which limits my heart's capability of delivering blood through my body as it should. Cardiomyopathy or, as it seems better known, congestive heart failure. I've had surgery for it and it has been a while since it caused me any real issues as long as I stick to my routine of care and manage my health, but when COVID-19 infiltrated my body it immediately snagged upon this weak heart of mine and sank its fangs in.

Within a day of being admitted to the hospital I had a grand mal seizure due to the constant fluctuations of oxygen in my blood and the way my body was working double time to supplement for it. And only 2 days after that and when my nervous system had finally quieted down, I went into full cardiac arrest with a heart attack at my young age.

My next weeks were spent connected to machines doing more for me than my own body could. I developed pneumonia in my lungs, acute though it was it was still another complication that my wrecked body had to overcome as it made my already ragged breathing even worse. I was steadily shedding muscle tone and definition due to a lack of mobility and the fact that my body felt like a deadweight I could hardly take command of, and generally very weakened. My heart, the horrible thing, was inflamed and trying too hard by beating too fast, too hard.

FF some more and I was doing fairly well and treatments were showing some improvement. My heart was still being an ugly and gnarled beast in my chest and throwing weird spikes on the monitor that raised alarms. The pneumonia was retreating and I had no further seizures. It was the dawning light of my first signs that I was recovering!

It took a while more and so fucking many tests day in and day out for me get cleared for release. I tested negative for COVID-19 and was ashamed that I actually forgot that that was why I was even in the hospital to begin with, given all that happened. I have to undergo physical therapy and counseling; PT for heart happy exercises as well as to manage to my depleted muscles, counseling bc I was rocked mentally from all the almost dying and the depressive haze of being holed up in the hospital and surrounded by people who, like me, came in with COVID-19 but unlike me did not come out of it.

I'm home now. I had to have a pacemaker implanted and must stay vigilant for any showing that my heart is not performing as it should. I still have some severe inflammation and chest restriction in my airways as well as my blood vessels but nothing too daunting. I also have a full battalion of prescriptions, most for my heart, and a nebulizer to ease any breathing issues. The worst is honestly that I still am very weak and have severely limited reserves of energy.

My job is required to make me take 12 weeks of leave for rest and recuperation. This is very upsetting since I had been requested by name to be an assistant stylist at the Grammys this year which is truly a dream (especially with BTS in the mix 😩😩) and also bc I'm just a workaholic by nature and love my job. When I return I am expected to learn how to properly delegate tasks that do not directly require me to handle and slow down the pacing of my projects. My boss terminated a contract with a client that was nearing the scheduled end of our agreement and was also incredibly problematic to help lighten my workload. It's imperative that I reign in my stress levels or my heart will not last until the next surgery I'll need, so I'm gritting my teeth and letting my job be picked apart to reduce my responsibilities.

My post awaits my return but I will not be returning to full activity for a while after, which means no rifling through the racks for hours alongside the archivists in search of the perfect piece. I'll be welcome to meet with my clients and oversee the glam teams, will still be the command tower for final verdicts on which styles to use. But I will not be running around showrooms nor personally handling matters any competent trainee could be tasked with like I've always done. I will no longer be able to fly out anywhere for destination shoots or fashion shows.

If, after my next surgery, things are better and my heart stable to the point that they are hopeful of things will be reevaluated. While it is difficult beyond measure for me to relinquish the reigns of my career and be restricted in what I can do now, I am very thankful to be alive and upright when that wasn't a certainty just a little while ago. This is such a humbling experience to have survived when my stats kept dropping every day. I've been told to expect that I will never make a full 100% recovery and to expect to stall out around the 70%-90% range, with 70% being the most realistic.

My best friend (the one I gave the plague to) will be moving in with me so that I am never on my own if things go tits up and to assist in wrangling a toddler since I am currently without the energy to do so as my child is, sincerely, a crazy gremlin spawn with limitless battery life. Slowly, my life will regain some normalcy 💖

[autistic-singer515]

Here’s my fan art sketch of the scene I want in the Animaniacs reboot season 2. That’s right when Julia has a nasty side effect from the obedience chip, she turns into a giant mouse monster out of anger. It causes her to go out of control. As Julia was about to try to kill Brain, Pinky pushed him to safety and takes the hit instead. Julia tries to control herself as she saw Pinky unconscious. She looked at the blood on her big claws. That unpleasant sight frightened her. She shook her big hands in fear and sadness. She frightfully looked at Pinky and her bloody claws back and forth. She felt sick to her stomach upon the realization of her actions. Now she hated the idea of killing, even the Brain.

What has she become?

“Oh no....” Julia thought sadly. “ What have I done to him? I’m a monster! A terrible monster!”

Due to her anger and confusion and the electrical shocks, Julia’s monsterous instincts were taking over her mind. She plans to get revenge on the Brain and everyone else in the world for neglecting her.

“But why would Pinky sacrifice himself to save a tyrant?” Julia thought angrily. “The world likes to play a little cruel game with me! Then nobody loves me or understands me! Everyone in the world is evil! Including me! I might as well destroy everything and myself, starting with you, Brain! You made me like this and you will pay!”

As the Brain witnessed Pinky’s unconscious body, his anger towards Julia rose up. He swore revenge against her. He knew she had to be stopped and to be turned back into a normal unintelligent mouse. But after he tried to stop Julia once and for all, she already grabbed him in an attempt to squeeze him to death. The Brain tried to bite Julia’s hand to try to get her to let go. But Julia’s muscles were too strong and numb to feel pain. But then the Brain saw Julia struggling with her mind and her electrical shocks from the defective obedience chip on her left ear. She was trying to calm down after she saw what she did to Pinky. She’s trying to keep her love and compassion within her. But the obedience chip was making it too difficult for her to do so. Her sanity was slipping away from her. She was downright scared of losing herself and killing everyone uncontrollably.

The Brain’s eyes widened to the realization and felt sick to his stomach with the squeezing making it worse. It felt too familiar to him. He remembered getting abused with the electric cheese platter from those mean scientists. He remembered how much it angered him to no end that he plotted world domination. It conditioned him into not showing affection towards Pinky or other people. Just so he wouldn’t feel weak and helpless if he gets rejected by them after showing them love.

No wonder Julia was plotting revenge against him just so she could make the world a better place for everyone. Just so she could become a hero with good intentions. It was all because the Brain pulled a familiar stunt as the scientists did. Now the Brain knew how it felt for Julia to be abused like this. He made her like this and it was all his fault.

For years the Brain tried and tried to remain calm about not succeeding in taking over the world. But after years of repressing his true feelings for Pinky, his behaviour gradually had gotten worse and worse. The more the Brain looked deep within himself, the more he felt like a different mouse all together. He remembered his other recent actions, including attempted kidnapping of people and attempted child labour. They were the things his former arch enemy Snowball would’ve done.

He knew that deep down inside, he never wanted to do those horrible things, but the world was recently becoming a lot more stupid, violent, crazy, frustrating and difficult for him that he was too angry to hold back. He felt like he had to do his job for world peace and for good reasons even though his actions were a lot harsher than normal. He was hurt before. He didn’t want to be the helpless little mouse anymore. Because of this, the Brain tried his hardest to ignore his love for Pinky. But now that got his funny friend seriously hurt. The Brain ignored Julia’s empathy and then he ruined her mentally. The Brain’s heart stings just thinking about those horrible memories.

The Brain knew he started this whole mess. He wasn’t sure he would survive his own squeezing situation himself. But he hoped that at least Pinky would wake up even if he’s gone. Maybe he could stop Julia from rampaging.

If only the Brain was as kind as Pinky.

Julia’s insults towards the Brain played repeatedly in his throbbing mind that it was almost unbearable for him to handle. He gritted his teeth and sweated with anxiety.

“You monster!”

“All this time I’ve been manipulated by a tyrant!”

“Tyrant!”

“Monster!”

“Tyrant!”

“Monster!”

“Tyrant!”

“Monster!”

“Julia was right about everything about me..... What have I become?....” thought the Brain, feeling the guilt and fear overcoming him. “I thought I could make the world a better place.... But I messed it up real bad.... I’ve made too much irrational decisions.... I’m not as intelligent as I thought.... I’m no better than the scientists and Snowball who abused me long ago.... And now Julia is getting worse because of me!....”

How the Brain wished Pinky would wake up right now to help him get out of his bad situation. Just like they always did for each other. But Pinky still didn’t seem to wake up.

What would Pinky do if he was in the Brain’s situation?

Ask Julia stupid questions about eating yourself and then disappearing after that? No! Definitely not! That’s ridiculous! That won’t work for her like it did for his demonic robot son, B.R.A.I.N! She would already know the answer.

Then the Brain remembered the time Pinky constantly apologized to him when he was a green mouse monster. It always reverted him back to his normal mouse size until the serum wore out of his system. As the Brain continued watching Julia struggling with her mind, he thought that if it weren’t for Pinky, he could’ve been like Julia. An out of control monster.

The Brain remembered what Julia once said, “ I think it’s time I stopped speaking from the brain and start speaking from the heart.”

The Brain finally realized that he should’ve listen to Pinky’s advice in the first place, that is helping Julia before she destroys everything, including herself. He finally realized that he was the one who should apologize to Julia, not Pinky. Maybe if the Brain could apologize to Julia, maybe he could try to calm her down. He may not be Pinky, but he knew that the least he could do right now was just try.

“Just be yourself, Brain.” thought the Brain. “But be kinder.”

So the Brain apologizes to Julia.

The Brain: “I don’t know if you can hear me say this.... But.... I’m sorry.... Julia.... I made you a monster and Pinky is badly injured because of me.... What have I done?..... How could I’ve been so cruel to you?.... Deep down inside me, I really feel awful for forcing you into being my First Lady... But I was too proud to admit it.... I know what it feels like to be helpless, Julia....”

But it seems that Julia wasn’t buying the Brain’s apology. She squeezed the Brain too tight that his lungs were about to burst. The Brain groaned and sweated. It was starting to get difficult for him to breathe.

“Liar!!” yelled monster Julia. “You’re lying! You’re heartless! You’ll always be heartless! Just like everyone else in this world!”

The Brain said “believe me, Julia. I was once like you. Lonely, afraid, angry and abused by scientists. I wanted to take control for myself and the world just to show everyone I’m not a dumb weak mouse anymore. Pinky was right.... I was mean and angry because I was afraid of showing love.... I didn’t know about love enough...”

“Pinky’s better at showing compassion than me..... But right now he can’t do that.... So I want to help you now....” the Brain continued. “I promise to let you make your own decisions this time! No more neural implants! No more mind control! You name it! Just please control yourself before it’s too late!....”

Monster Julia’s eyes widened with confusion.

Could the Brain be telling the truth?

Monster Julia tried harder to control herself.

“I... I didn’t mean to hurt Pinky!....” said Julia. “I want to stop hurting people.... But why am I still angry?.... Why are you so nice to me all of a sudden?.....”

The Brain waited with baited breath for Julia to finally calm down.

Could Julia be coming to her senses?

But then her monster instincts took over again and then realized something. The Brain must be lying. He was just pretending to be nice to her, just so he could use her again.

Monster Julia yelled “No! You’re never like me! You’re trying to use me again by lying! Well, no more! I won’t take orders from you anymore!”

The apology wasn’t working. Not liked it worked for him as a green mouse monster. Dread, fear and hopelessness was overcoming the Brain.

The Brain felt just as helpless, sad and scared as ever. His worst fear was about to do him in. And it was all his fault. His body shook fiercely.

“If only I could fix all this”..... said the Brain tearfully. “You have every right to hate me... I deserve this.... Why didn’t I listen to you or Pinky?.... I don’t deserve forgiveness..... Because my recent actions are unforgivable..... I’m the real terrible heartless monster.... Not you....”

Now the Brain hopelessly prepares for his doom as Julia continues to squeeze him.

That was his punishment after all.

But when all hope seems lost, the very guilty Brain sheds a repentant tear and then he let it drop onto Julia’s nose as a way of saying sorry. Julia felt the tear drop on her nose. She stared at the tear running down her nose. She felt the warmth from it. Then suddenly her nose started to glow magically.

The Brain saw Julia’s nose glowing.

What was happening?

Julia gasped. Then she looked at the Brain with tears running down his face profusely. His tear filled eyes were very honest about her safety and everyone else’s safety.

Julia stopped squeezing Brain and put him down as she became confused.

“Why are you crying?” asked Monster Julia. “How can a stoic mouse like you be capable of shedding tears? Could that warmth be from your genuine remorse and concern for me? How can that be so? How can a tyrant feel sorry for me? But I’m just as bad as you.... How can a monster like me still feel joy and sadness?...”

Julia’s eyes filled with tears.

Then Julia thought of something she hadn’t before.

“Could a tyrant and a monster really change? Am I loved after all?” asked Monster Julia.

Julia’s anger melted away like snow and she realized that the Brain really meant everything that he said. She remembered what Pinky once told her. He was right. The Brain can fix what was wrong with her if they give each other a chance. And maybe he did give up world domination a few times just for Pinky.

Then the warm glow grew and spread all over Julia’s body. It felt like a nice warm hug to Julia.

“For some reason I feel safe. This warmth is so comforting.” Julia said. “I think it’s telling me that I’m not alone and everything’s going to be okay. It’s starting to make sense now. Pinky was right about you all along! You do have some good in you! And I still have good in me! Both of us can change!”

The Brain realized that he was wrong about himself, he still has love in his heart within him despite his recently not so great intentions. He also realized that it’s okay to show compassion towards others no matter how tough he is and that sometimes feeling helpless and weak is okay as long as you have friends to help you. Maybe the Brain could slowly but surely heal from his trauma just like Julia is healing from hers. Maybe Julia didn’t have to turn back into a normal mouse after all.

Then Julia reverted back to her normal mouse size and the obedience chip slipped off her left ear and broke as it hit the ground.

Then after Brain made sure Julia was alright, they would check on the unconscious Pinky from my previous fan art.

Maybe in the reboot the obedience chip won’t fly off Julia’s ear. Maybe she’ll get a surgery to get rid of the obedience chip in her ear after Pinky was alright.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

TUA SHOPS / MALL AU

(This is a weird ass mall just work with me here okay)

(Oh, and did I mention they’re all staying in the mall because they’re the last humans left after the zombie apocalypse?)

(BEWARE: mentions of abuse and harassment/assault, murder, death, annihilation, zombies, implied cannibalism but that kind of comes with the territory with zombies let's be honest, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)

(Mechanics Shop) Luther came here after an accident left him deformed and lonely. He expects he’ll be there the rest of his life, having no other prospects to fall back on, and he actually thinks that might be alright, maybe. He likes fixing cars well enough and the donuts at Agnes’ are to die for, even if he has to pay for them with some bickering with Diego. He has a good routine - a good life. Until the zombies come to town and stay, and Allison the Fallen Angel Actress comes with them.

(Bakery) Diego took over the bakery when Agnes died. He’s been here since the first zombies came in, and sleeps around with Klaus almost every day, though they both deny feeling any sort of love for each other. (What fucking liars.) Diego wants to get the fuck out, to end it all if that’s what it takes, but his family keeps him here. And then Klaus storms off after one of their fights, and gets bitten, and Diego holds him in his arms as he fades, finally confessing that he loves him. Klaus looks at him with his wide green eyes one last time, whimpering Diego’s name, and Diego makes a split-second decision and kisses him on the mouth. And Klaus bites his lip.

(High-End Fashion) Allison was an actress who fell from grace about a week before the apocalypse. She came to stay with her brother Klaus and Ray, her childhood friend whom she’s almost laughably in love with, helped her get a job here. It’s just as well, since the zombies moved in three days later and they’ve been trapped here ever since.

(Vintage Shop) Klaus is happy to have Allison back in his life. He’s been stuck here in the mall in this weird vintage record/clothing/shoe/whatever store since he turned seventeen, hooked on drugs and going mad. He’s a brilliant inventor, but he can’t cure zombies. And he can’t cure a broken heart, which is what he’s got ever since Dave. And Diego - oh, Diego - Klaus loves him more than he thought it was possible to love another human being, and Diego - Diego - Diego is gonna leave him to save the goddamn world. Fuck, Klaus needs a drink.

(Comic Book Store) Five hates people, but he hates them even more when they’re dead. He’s crazy okay, he knows that - his best friend Dolores died in the first wave and he’s been pretending this mannequin he stole is her ever since. He buries himself in his comic books to distract himself from the doomsday sure to come soon enough, and finds solace in his family’s company - mostly Ben and Diego and Klaus. When Diego and Klaus are turned, Five is the one who has to burn their bodies… and that’s what makes him do it, really. End the world.

(Library) Ben has been researching zombies since long before they were real. One of them tried to bite him, but he dodged them, though only by leaping too close to a grenade. As he was dying from the gashes in his chest filled with shrapnel, Klaus found him and dragged him to safety inside the mall. They’d never met before that day, but now they’re partners, especially as it was one of Klaus’ wacky inventions that did and continues to save Ben’s life, implanted in his chest and keeping his lungs from being impaled by the shrapnel. Ben will always carry, both figuratively and literally, a piece of Klaus in his heart.

(Musical Shop) Vanya mostly stays in her music shop, playing violin by herself. Klaus likes to tweak all the other instruments so they play by themselves like ghosts. Vanya doesn’t let herself get bitten - but Leonard tried. And she made him pay. She spends her days with Sissy, trying to cheer up the beautiful woman she fell in love with when she first moved here… but Sissy is a shell of herself, sad and lost and lonely, and there’s nothing Vanya can do to change that, no matter how hard she tries. And she tries. So. Goddamn. Hard.

(Tech Store) Ray is just trying to get the wifi working again. He reads as many books as he can, mostly on civil rights movements and survivalist theory, but there’s not much time. If they want to send out a signal for help, someone has to brave the outside and reattach the antenna. And Ray knows, has always known, that that’s gonna be him.

(Martial Arts Studio) Lila used to be a martial arts teacher before all this shit went down. She watched her studio and students get ripped to shreds by zombies, and she could save nobody. She made it to the mall by pure luck, and is decorated in scars from scratches and attempted bites. She still practices her craft every day, training to break them out to somewhere safer. But the longer she spends here, the more she knows they’ll never make it - they’re all going to die for each other, in the end. And die for each other they do.

(Record Shop) Eudora used to be a cop. She’s always been on the side that’s moral, righteous, and good. So what’s she supposed to do now that she has to steal and kill to survive? (Make Diego do it for her, that’s how.) She’s bunkered down in the record store, blasting music throughout the mall randomly every day. She’s found out classical lulls the zombies to sleep and metal sends them running. But they always return, more feral than before. She falls so deeply in love with Lila she’s terrified to act on it, but in the end it doesn’t matter - Lila is bitten, and Eudora’s the one who has to burn her down.

(Cooking Store) Sissy is anxious and paranoid, having lost her son Harlan in the first wave of zombies. He ate her husband - not that she cared. He was a dick. But - but - her son. She drifts along like a ghost now, without him. Vanya loves her, and holds her, and takes care of her, but there’s just nothing that can be done. When the zombies finally get in, Sissy just bares her neck and gives in.

(Baby Boutique) Grace is a brilliant inventor and healer who taught Klaus everything he knows. She’s responsible for the shields and fences that keep the zombies out of the mall, and is working towards a cure for the zombie infection. Hopefully one she can dump out on the masses. She dies fighting off the zombies long enough for Ray to fix the antennae, feeling humanity slip out of her as she stares at the sun and moon, eclipsing in the distance. She figures a blind zombie is better than another seeing one.

(Evil CEO) Reginald invented the zombie serum, and he’s not sorry. It’s just a spot of fun that… got out of control, he guesses. He just had some people he needed to get rid of, and this way everyone would be focusing more on the oh-my-god-real-life-zombies part than the hold-up-were-they-murdered part. But then Ben figures it out. Reginald’s stupid, annoying, nerdy son figures it out. And what was Reginald to do? Just let him live? His Klaus-touched heart sits in Reginald’s bloody hand, and Reginald grins and shoves it in his mouth whole.

(Wedding Boutique) The Handler is that crazy bitch who wears wedding dresses every day. She always looks a bit sick, but she also always wears crazy make-up, so they just brush it off. Until one day Five catches her changing and sees the prominent bite marks all over her, proving she’s been bitten nearly six times over. She turns around and looks at him, sneers, and opens her gaping maw when he grabs a nearby candelabra and sets her hair on fire.

(Sports Store) Hazel and Cha-Cha are partners who have been here since the beginning of the apocalypse. Hazel used to be a girls’ soccer coach and Cha-Cha ran the boys’ football team at the same high school, but that’s all over now. Hazel’s been fucked up since Agnes died (only of natural causes. Ha!) and Cha-Cha’s seen her zombie walking around since then. She makes it her mission to shoot it down before Hazel sees it, and manages - but the two of them still go out in a blaze of glory together, sacrificing themselves to take out a horde of the undead just days before the mall falls.

(Woodworking Shop) Leonard got bitten in the third wave, just before entering the mall. He made it a week before they found out. He tried to bite Vanya and she pitched him over the side of the terrace. They use the logs from his wood shop to kill zombies who get too close, setting them on fire and hurling them into the masses.

(Thrift Shop) Dave was travelling with Klaus, the two of them rather involved, and got bitten just before he and Klaus made it to safety. Klaus had to kill him and has been depressed about it ever since, setting Dave’s body to rest in the thrift shop where Klaus does all his experiments. Five and Grace use the body as a test subject, but Klaus doesn’t need to know that. When he figures out how to make a zombie-killing nuke, he lays the button down with Dave, hoping they’ll never have to use it since it will most certainly destroy the world along with all the zombies. The last human left alive runs from the zombies towards the button. He presses it. The zombies close in, Five shuts his eyes, and the planet explodes into nothing.

[evangelene]

Despite What You Are (5)

Summary: Vampires don’t feed on blood, they feed on fear. So, why is yours so potent? Why were you saved by the most dangerous of all vampires–Kim Namjoon?

Based on this request:

“Can i ask for a ff where namjoon is a vampire mafia boss and has a spft spot for you. And you get into trouble woth a rival gang and he goes crazy? Fluffy and angsty 🌹”

Thoughts from the bedside

 Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four

It was bright. Sunny, borderline too sunny—the first time you were seeing the outside world since your departure from the world due to a smoky shitpile of a vampire injury. There probably should’ve been more fear associated with the act, but it was real hard to be fearful when Namjoon stood by your side.

Perhaps that moment should have been your first clue to your inevitable fate. But you were dumb, always and forever.

Without thinking, you sunk down to the grass, feeling the heat of the earth seep into your bones. Even when you were at the hunter’s association, the only version of the outside you ever got to see was one covered in barbed, electric wire and asphalt that desperately needed to be replaced.

Nothing really ever lived there; even the weeds were nonexistent--as if even the Earth knew that place smothered everything that tried to survive.

You could feel Namjoon’s eyes on the side of your face as you closed your eyes to the healing power of nature Yeah sure, it was just some fucking grass—but for someone who hadn’t seen nor felt grass in several years, it was heaven. There was even a pathetic little tree within eyesight that looked like the tree of life to an environmentally starved human such as yourself.

“What was it like in the human compound—not the Hunters’, but the one you came from?”

“Mmm.” You didn’t open your eyes because, well, you didn’t want to yet. “It was home. I grew up there; I had parents, friends and a life that actually felt like a life. I went to school and graduated; I had plans to get married and have a steady job. I remember that it was a place that felt safe and felt like it would bring me happiness... It was a place where I could dream. I haven’t dreamt in so long—it was better not to then to be crushed by what couldn’t be.”

Namjoon was silent for a moment, contemplative. “I wonder what my dream was before you. I can’t seem to remember if I even had one.”

“Namjoon!” It was perhaps the most horrifying noise to have ever graced your throat—somewhere between a growl and a shriek that ripped your vocal chords and left dryness at the back of your tongue. However, with the wire wrapping around your waist--threatening to cut off circulation to your desperate, dragging feet--you couldn’t find it in you to care about the pain of your scream. Rather, you let out another.

“Namjoon!”

There were tears coming to your eyes before you could stop them, adrenaline injecting itself into your veins out of frustration. Garlic. It smelled like too much garlic and the metallic tang of blood. If you were in a better state of mind, you would have chuckled about the fact that you finally, finally got rid of the smell of garlic burned into your nostrils from years of soaking weaponry. Before you could scream again, a gloved hand enclosed around your mouth—that motherfucking radio buzzing with static before a voice you desperately didn’t want to hear reverberated through the streets.

Don’t let her escape.

Despite the fact that the blood running through your system turned to ice, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the sight of Namjoon, sandwiched between Taehyung and Yoongi as they looped their arms through his. His screams somehow made it past the rushing in your ears and the silence of your body loosing the majority of its senses.

You hated that you could still hear the sizzle of garlic hitting his skin, the god awful smell permeating your nostrils.

I’ve got a read on your location—I’ll send backup. Make sure she’s alive.

Suddenly, as if you hadn’t been thinking about it every waking second—as if you haven’t been planning on putting your life in the hands of some shoddy medicine to remove it—you remembered the implant the Hunter’s Association had placed within you.

Hey, at least now you knew it was a GPS, right?

Yeah that did absolutely shit nothing to comfort you and before you knew it there was a god awful noise that sounded more feline than humanoid ripping through your chest.

Like a tiny, miniscule insect caught in a widow’s web, you shook and struggled. Every limb flailed fingers and joints digging into every available surface area of the woman holding you hostage. Your hands came up to rip the stupid lens off her face—the fucking bullshit piece of technology that Hunters wore regardless of the time of day. You nearly managed to reach her eye before she jerked her head away, your legs trying to kick out the back of her knee in her distraction. In a final act of desperation, your teeth sunk into the leather of her glove, trying to break flesh.

The wire around your waist cinched tighter around you, digging into your skin as you let out a god-awful shriek. “Fuck off!” But it was muffled through leather and hunter’s fingers.

She’s being unreasonable. Sedate her.

Another hunter approached you, ready to help assist the woman holding you like a wild animal needing to be removed from someone’s home.

“Oh fuck no!” You spat, hoisting your legs up to press square against his chest, shoving with all of your weight to keep him at bay. You couldn’t go down yet. Not yet. Namjoon was hurt. Namjoon needed you and these people would have to do everything in their power to stop you from going to him if they had any hope of keeping you.

Not that you were strong. God you wished you were strong now more than ever.

One of the woman’s hands freed themselves to search through the pack buckled around her hips.

Your mind raced, trying to travel back to hunter’s training, trying to remember what sedatives they had—how quickly they took effect. Would you have time to escape before you went down? Would you make it back to them?

Would you make it back to Namjoon before it was too late?

Too late. Too late for who?

Your eyes scanned the battle wildly, hunters invading the corners of your visions like the black spots you see when you’re about to pass out. Through their backs, you could see Hoseok, Jungkook and Jimin fighting them off in an attempt to get to you. Occasionally, one of them would look up at you and you could see their desperation increase in the power of a hit thrown to a human.

Y/N. I’m well aware that you can hear me.

Your laser focus slid back to the walkie at the female’s hip.

Your whole body froze at the sound of your name, one of your feet propped on the face of the hunter in front of you while your arms shook from the effort of holding back the huntress’ hand armed with a needle--far too close to your skin for comfort.  

I want to personally congratulate you. When you come home, you can expect to see a medal waiting for you in your honor. You brought us directly to Kim Namjoon. You brought down the largest and most powerful clan on the entire continent—you should be proud. Despite your previous disobedience, I will have you know that your slate will be cleaned with this gift to us.

A year ago, the news would have been good to hear for yourself. One less clan? One less powerful ass vampire to threaten your life? Great. Excellent.

But, since the only remaining strand of fear currently inhabiting your body was for Namjoon and his safety, you realized that you were no longer that girl from a year ago. You were no longer afraid of the world outside your walls, you were no longer afraid of all vampires and you sure as hell had no fear for the people that you once were forced to consider comrades.

God, if you could spit in the General’s Assistant’s face, you would have hocked the biggest motherfucking loogie your body could offer.

“And what makes you think I want your useless medal?” You hissed, returning from the depths of your repressed memories to the present moment. With renewed vigor, you clamped your legs around the male hunter’s head. Every ounce of strength you owned went to your core and abs, lip curling as you began the process of crushing the motherfucker’s head. His hands reached up to claw at your thighs, his mouth gasping for breath as the woman’s efforts to save her fellow hunter distracted her from the bigger picture: you. Still using your strength to kill, you discovered the ability to multi-task long enough to snap the needle out of her weakened hand.

One threat down. For now.

Not to say she couldn’t grab another. Not to say you weren’t one more hunter away from being dragged back to the base camp.

Are you choosing their side?

You looked up to meet Hoseok’s gaze, as he was the closest and the most active in trying to get to you. He was the one within earshot; he was the one that was most likely going to bring you back to Namjoon or get hurt trying.  And god did you love him for it.

(Vampires don’t make any sense)

“Yeah, well, humans don’t make much of it either.”

“You’re smart enough to answer that on your own.” You chuckled darkly, adjusting your grip on the man enough to be able to get a better grasp on his skull—the prior position obviously wasn’t working because…well… he was still breathing. The huntress behind you jerked you to the side in an attempt to remove you from the man you were smothering between your legs. However, it was the worst life-saving attempt you’d seen yet, considering you hadn’t let up on your vice grip and you had no intentions to do so.

All it did was snap his neck.

“But yes.” You murmured to his body as his hands slumped off your thighs and the huntress screamed out in rage directly in your ear. “I choose his side.” You slammed your skull back into her face, wincing at the throbbing of your eardrum.

The statement was all it took for Hoseok to take that final burst towards you, any concern for the bullets fired from the guns all around you lost in that moment. Your concern for his safety, however, only increased until you finally saw why he was no longer worried about the garlic soaked threats: Jimin was using the remainder of his strength to aid Hoseok (Small, almost invisible shields no bigger than a dinner plate—ten at max, so, considering Jimin’s weakened state, it was probably like five. The younger had told you about his ability one night when you were far too curious and far too drunk off some wine Jungkook raided for you).

If you had been in a less concerned state of mind, you probably would have noticed that his lips were moving in an attempt to convey a very important message to you. One that you blatantly ignored because one: it was loud as hell currently, and two: you were dumb.

Hoseok growled in frustration at you as you furrowed your brow on him, thrashing in the huntress’ grip whilst you tried (and failed) to read his lips. You would have absolutely bombed any whisper challenge.

It wasn’t until he was practically in front of you that you could finally make out what he was trying to say, and surprise! It wasn’t “Do apes eat chocolate?”

“Y/N! Cover your ears!”

“I think that Hoseok has the worst ability.” Jiwoo said during one of her bouts of oversharing. You two were similar in that aspect. Suddenly, when presented with a genuine friend willing to listen to your endless rambling, you both found silence impossible and filled it to the brim with ADD thoughts. “I mean, not the worst as in, like, useless—but worst as in fatal.” She made a face at the ceiling. “I said that wrong, didn’t I?”

“Yes, Jiwoo.” You, too, chuckled to the ever listening ceiling. “You did, but continue anyways. I really want to know now.”

“Well…like…how do I put this…” She paused. “Okay, well he can alter his vocal chords in a way that can bust the brains of whoever he chooses. It’s like a sonic scream—however it’s all dependent on the tone. He’s perfected the right note to kill humans within his radius. Vampires are another story; he’s been working on that one. Apparently vampiric brains vary too much to make it easy for him.”

In a heated scramble as the woman screamed “STAND DOWN” in your already aching ear, you wrestled your hands free—nearly slapping yourself in the process of trying to keep your brain in your head. You thought that having the precious organ leaking out your ears would not be an attractive or life-sustaining look.

The sound burst through your fingers anyways, shimmying through your ear drums until your head was shaking with the force of Hoseok’s screams. The people around you froze and twisted like they’d been shot, bodies contorting at impossible angles as if they were exploding from the inside out.

In the chaos, Hoseok was able to get close enough to you to slap his hands over yours as added cushion to the hell of his voice. Despite both layers of skin and bone, you still felt blood dribble down from your nose and onto your upper lip. You screwed your eyes shut and clenched your jaw against the dampened noise; god, you did not want to imagine what it would sound like with bare ears.

The huntress behind you finally slumped, the wire around your waist loosening to a puddle at your feet, now that the person holding it was no longer living.

When Hoseok’s hands finally lifted off of yours—it couldn’t have been longer than five seconds, even if it felt like an eternity to your dum hooman brain—your ears were still ringing.

But you were alive.

Which, honestly, was more than you could say for the fallen hunters strewn around you like dead flies.

You didn’t want to look behind you, but curiosity got the better of you and you wound up making eye contact with the woman who had been holding you hostage. Granted, her eyes were darkened and seeing nothing—but that didn’t stop the frozen look of pain on her face as blood leaked from every possible orifice. If you weren’t so preoccupied in your thoughts, you probably would have thrown up. Instead, you just spit the gathered blood in your mouth at the ground, frowning at the radio on her hip.

“If you can hear me, fuck you.” You mumbled, if only because your tongue felt heavy and the world was swaying around you.  You doubted that he could; the words were for your own sanity, for your own control of your life. For Namjoon.

Namjoon.

Namjoon needed you.

You took one swirling look at Hoseok, nodding your thanks because you couldn’t remember how to use your vocal chords. Your first attempt at bolting back towards the compound was thwarted by the fact that your legs were now noodles and the ground was pitched at a drunken angle. Gracefully, you wound up slamming into the busted concrete in a pile of limbs. But, like the stubborn mule you were, determination had you back on your feet and plowing forward before you could even process the fact that you had actually fallen on top of a dead body.

There was a fierce ringing in your ears and every breath you took sounded too loud for the sudden silence of the universe but that one singular thought outweighed every earthly issue.

He chuckled softly. “You are a very interesting human, Y/N.”

Somewhere in the distance, in a faraway parallel universe where your body was but your mind wasn’t, you could feel the pain, exhaustion and agony of moving as fast as you were forcing yourself to. However, it was easily washed out by the pounding of your heart in your chest and the buzz of worry in your brain.

He still had the same smile though.

Bursting through the gates of the compound like a garlic soaked madwoman, you scanned the crowd of equally panicked vampires, failing to note the ones trying to direct you in favor of focusing on the most devastating sound you’d ever heard:

Namjoon’s agonized screams of pain.

Rushing out onto the warehouse floor, you noted that they had haphazardly tossed him onto a table, several vampires holding down his limbs in an attempt to stop him from writhing to the floor. A very unsure and emotionally unstable Taehyung was wiping at his neck in a vain attempt to stop the flow of blood despite his thrashing.

Everything that had been burning hot in your body instantly hit its freezing point, suddenly making you unable to feel your extremities.

Mechanically, as if you knew you couldn’t touch him with your own bloodied, garlic-tainted hands, you ripped off large chunks of your shirt to wrap around them. You stepped towards him slowly, giving yourself enough time to prepare yourself for what you had to do.

However, you, yourself were at a lack of what that might be.

You couldn’t tear your eyes from him—everyone else disappeared around you as if he was the only remaining being on this planet besides yourself. He was sweating with a fever, his skin paling before your eyes.

Vampires don’t get sick.

“Namjoon.” You whispered, completely ignoring the concern of Taehyung by your shoulder. Gingerly, you placed your clothed palms against his chest to get better leverage for you to take a closer look at his wound. Luckily, it appeared that the bullet had just grazed his neck--which would have been fine for him were it a normal bullet. However, since it was garlic laced, the location was perhaps the worst spot in his body to receive such a wound.

Since it was in a place that was directly flowing garlic laden blood to a system that couldn’t handle the substance.

“Namjoon.” You whispered again.

He only let out a huff of breath and a pained grown, his eyes unable to focus on anything in front of him.

Get rid of it, you have to get rid of it. You have to take out the garlic. You have to---

Your hand reached up to cup his face, forcing his gaze to flicker to you.

“Namjoon, look at me please. If you can hear me, please look at me.” Your brow furrowed in determination. “Don’t close your eyes. I need you to stay awake. I need you to look at me. If you—if you close your eyes and I lose you then what was the fucking point of all of this?” You hissed because you wanted to shout but you couldn’t make yourself any louder than you already were.

You didn’t realize you were crying until you watched cool droplets pepper his skin.

Shakily, he freed one hand from the vampires holding him, slowly reaching up to brush away your tears intermingled with blood; his blood or yours, you didn’t know.

You could feel it then, whatever “it” was. You could feel him. You could feel his pain, his fear, his worry. You could feel what he was thinking without being able to process it into words. And, in that moment, you knew you would risk it all for him.

Because….because….

Because I love you.

“Trust me.” You murmured, leaning into his touch before shifting to get a better grasp on him.

Water wouldn’t work, and with a lack of medical knowledge or equipment, there wasn’t a better way to get rid of the poison in his system.

So you did what only a human could do. You leaned down, feeling the heat of his fever radiate a scorching energy across your skin as you got closer to the wound. Swallowing one last free breath, you steeled your nerves and latched your lips around the wound.

You took an experimental bite, gathering as much blood as you could in your mouth before leaning up to spit the garlic laden liquid into the hem of your destroyed shirt. The second time you went in, he jolted against you—his body letting out an awful groan that quickly became a borderline scream. It took every bit of muscle you didn’t have to hold him down and repeat the process.

In that moment, you felt like an honest to god vampire—the ones from the history books; the ones that turned out to be incomparable to the real ones. The ones prior to the War of 2048. The ones that drank blood and lived in the darkness and didn’t understand humans as a source for anything but food.

The ones that wouldn’t be able to grasp your free hand as tightly as the one beneath you.

You continued until you couldn’t taste garlic anymore, until his skin slowly returned to its normal, honeyed color. You continued until the vampires around him could release him because he was no longer shaking uncontrollably. You continued until his sweat broke and the heat of his skin no longer scalded yours, until you couldn’t take the continued taste of his blood—until it became more metallic than sweet.

In a final gasp of breath, you spit the remainder into your soaked shirt, lifting your head to wipe at the smear of blood on your chin.

His eyes bore into your face with a clarity that relieved the majority of your worries.

He still couldn’t move properly, and he still wasn’t fully himself because, naturally, it would take a while for him to gather back his full strength. But what mattered was that he was here now. He was alive and there wasn’t enough garlic remaining in his system to threaten his life.

Taehyung handed you a fresh rag, allowing you to press it against Namjoon’s wound as he coughed. His words were weak, but you were hyper focused on him and could have heard them even if he didn’t make a sound. “This…” He coughed again. “This wasn’t what you wanted.”

Your eyes felt like they were being held open with toothpicks, your body succumbing to exhaustion now that the adrenaline was quickly leaving you behind. Despite it all, you couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle at his worry. “No. This wasn’t what I wanted.”

“I…” He licked his lips. “I’m not what you wanted.”

You brushed his damp hair off of his forehead, continuing to hold pressure to his neck. You couldn’t help the gentle smile you gave him. He was cute.

This vulnerable version of him was cute.

“No.” You murmured. “No you weren’t.”

You could see the smile in his eyes, if only because his face had trouble making any expression other than tired pain. “But you stayed.”

You could have left. You could have let them take you back to the humans.

But you didn’t.

He didn’t have to say it for you to hear it, for you to read it in the features of his face.

You nodded, feeling your heart go rogue against your sternum. “I did.” You chuckled. “I did.”

~.~

You rested your head against the wall of the bathroom, brow furrowed on the ceiling. Every ounce of your energy was zapped into oblivion, leaving you a heaping mess on the floor of the restroom you’d been banished to.

In the wake of their clan leader being injured, you’d been removed from his side to go clean up—however, with the six currently occupied, the other vampires deemed you dangerous (what with your garlic hands) and, unbeknownst to the people who gave a shit about you, you were forced to take care of yourself. That, however, was hard to do when you were a walking injury who found out she could no longer move.

Not like you could blame the vampires though, as far as they were concerned, you were a walking weapon. And, well, they didn’t really understand the human body’s limits—the only people who did were otherwise occupied.

Of course, that didn’t change the slight sting of loneliness in your bones. Honestly, you were spoiled being around people who cared about you for more than the title of your chess piece.

It made you want to continue to be cared about.

Well, it was your fault that you made yourself a garlic bomb during a vampiric battle.

Battle? Were you really part of a battle? Did you seriously live through a battle?

Who the fuck were you now? Some freaking heroine in a dystopian novel?

With a scoff that determined you were no longer going to mope and feel sorry for yourself, you weaseled your way up into a sitting position—albeit with too much effort and a heaving amount of pain that had you wincing and biting your cheek to stop from crying out.

“Okay, Y/N. Next step.” You murmured to yourself, grabbing the edge of your destroyed shirt. “You can do this.” You managed to get the fabric to your shoulders before you forehead broke out into a sheen of sweat and you gasped out a pathetic noise of pain at your aching and bruised muscles. “Okay, girl, maybe you can’t do this.”

It was at that moment, with you pathetically bearing your ruined bra to the universe inside the bathroom walls that the door burst open with absolutely no hint of delicacy.

You honestly couldn’t find it in you to give a shit as you tilted your head up to meet the intruder’s gaze.

Jiwoo’s angered stare met yours, the rage transforming into worry within one millisecond as she caught sight of you pathetically slouched on the tile. You didn’t get a chance to speak or unpack any of her emotions before she was letting out a snarl.

“I’m going to kill them.”

“Who?”  You would have been scared if she didn’t look like she was going to cry. If your arms weren’t dead weight in your lap and if you legs could work you would have hugged her.

“Everyone. The people that did this to you, the vampires that thought you could fix yourself on your own, you for getting into this mess--everyone.” You hadn’t realized she had been holding the door open until she fully stepped inside and let it slam behind her with an earthquake thud.

You only nodded stupidly, your gaze cast down to your hands and the bloody, smelly mess that they had become. “I have garlic on me.”

She crouched down, grabbing the non garlic soaked bit of your shirt to remove it entirely before tossing it into a corner.  You didn’t miss the way her lip curled at it in disgust. “So?” Her voice was soft in comparison to the steel of her features as she crouched down in front of you. “I can’t believe they left you all alone in here. How are you supposed to care for yourself in this state?”

The longer she squatted before you, the longer she assessed the damage done to your body, the deeper the crease between her brows got. It would have been a shame if she gave herself wrinkles, she was pretty.

“What about Yoongi? The others? They need more attention than me—“

“Y/N.” She cut you off grabbing both of your hands despite the grit of her teeth as the garlic sizzled into her skin. If only because you were afraid she would hurt herself further, you let her lift you to your feet so she could help you wash the blood and pasta sauce from your hands.  It was definitely her doing the lifting too; you were more ragdoll than human at the moment. “I won’t let you be alone. Not right now.”

You stared at your feet, letting her take care of you—refusing to meet your own stare in the cracked and dirty mirror above the sink. Who wanted to look at themselves when they knew they were the reason for everything that just happened?  She reached over to the first aid kit that had been tossed in the room with you earlier, frowning at the pathetic array of medical equipment garnered for you. “There’s not even anything to scrub you with.” It seemed her disdain for the vampires that left you in here by yourself was only growing by the second, her anger a ticking time bomb. You felt she didn’t know what else to be—you felt like she felt as helpless as you did.

“Ji, its fine, really—“ But, when you lifted your head you could see her taking her shirt off behind you, dunking the fabric into the sink before you could even form any words. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m taking care of you.” She said simply, grabbing your arm to begin cleaning the stale blood from your skin. “Because you can’t and he can’t and no one else will.”

“I can do it.” You murmured weakly, but if it weren’t for her grasp on you, you would probably have collapsed to the floor; even she could see that. Your eyes followed the path she cleaned, wincing at the pain that came with the archeology of healing. Underneath layers of dirt and blood you both discovered the cuts and bruises—the threatening fractures that had you making pathetic noises in the back of your throat. You discovered the pain that settled into your bones and made you immobile; even you didn’t know just how bad your injuries were. You hadn’t really had the chance to figure it out in the wake of Namjoon.

But the masochistic part of you said that it wasn’t enough pain—you should have more. You should be dead—you should—

“Why?” Jiwoo whispered, her voice hoarse. “Why would you put yourself in danger like this? Namjoon—he could have handled it himself.”

You knew that. A deep-set part of you knew that. As her shirt turned washcloth soothed the heated ache in your back with cold water, you knew that everything you did was in vain. Even sitting there, safe and sound in an abandoned bathroom, you could still hear Namjoon’s screams. You could still hear the buzz of the walkie talkie’s feedback.

You could still smell garlic.

“He could have.” You murmured.

All your fault, Y/N. This is all your fault. If you weren’t so stupid he would have been alive and well and completely fine.

So would that Hunter you were partnered with.              

Jiwoo’s gaze softened on you, her forehead resting against your temple. “If it was Yoongi, I know I would have done that same. But you and I—we are different species, you have to know that. You matter too much, Y/N. What would we do without you?”

You felt tears building in your eyes, that pathetic, fragile spine of yours folding easily to your fear, your blame and your guilt. You were nothing if you weren’t weak-willed, a human afraid of everything.

Especially herself.

“I wanted to keep him safe.” You whispered. “I’m nothing special, just a dumb human. But he’s done all of this for me and I—I-I—“

Jiwoo’s arms were around you before you could think properly, the pain in your bones a punishment you bared with all the grace of gritted teeth and a yelp of pain that you swallowed in your chest. Her hugs were a force to be reckoned with, because they were usually the contact you got when you needed it most.

“You are incredibly special.” Her anger tried to punch through your thick skull like a lobotomy needle, quick, sharp and to the point. “You aren’t special just because Namjoon is your mate, not just because you’re a small, fractional possibility in a sea of normality. You aren’t special because your fear tastes like what I imagine your human sugar tastes like to you. You are special because you are Y/N. There is only one you; no one can replace you.”

“Everyone is replaceable.”

She shook her head. “No. Not everyone is. Not everyone can make Hoseok laugh so loud that he breaks the glass to the oven. Not everyone can make Taehyung distract enough to get lost during missions because he was looking for a game—if only because he now has someone who wants to play with him. Not everyone can make Seokjin smile like we’ve never seen in years. Not everyone can make Jungkook control himself around a human as much as you can; if only because he wants to be your friend so bad that he forces himself to do the impossible. There hasn’t been a single person—vampire or human—to understand me the way you have. Not everyone can stand up to a room full of vampires when it is obvious that they shake at the mere sight of them. Not everyone can dare to shoot a gun at death and still be standing of their own accord. Not everyone can stand in the middle of two species and find peace with what they had always considered their enemy. And for sure, there isn’t another person on this planet that could make Namjoon fight as hard as he is for you. Y/N, there is absolutely no one else like you. If you were not here, we would all suffer.”

At some point, during her speech that could have moved mountains, her thumbs had come up to brush away tears you hadn’t realized had been falling. It was a lot to say you were worth it when this mess was caused by you.

It’s all your fault he’s hurt.

“But I couldn’t save him.” You whispered.

Her hug was unrelenting, her care momentarily forgotten in the wake of your emotional trauma. “You did.”

“But it was my fault that it happened in the first place.”

“It was the Hunter’s Association’s gun, not yours.”

“But—but I am a Hunter.”

She pulled back to asses you, her eyes flitting across your face as if she was trying to figure out if this was truly a person she knew. “Are you?” Her brow furrowed on you. “Have you ever killed a vampire, Y/N? Hell—“ She scoffed. “Have you ever killed anyone?”

“My--my actions caused people to die.”

The trees became made of blood, the petals falling bits of bone that dislodged from the branches. In the shadows you could see clawed hands reaching for you, pitch black eyes boring into yours as it grabbed your wrists and—

Jiwoo lifted your hands to your line of sight. Her hands weren’t clawed; her nails were blunt and normal around your wrists—gentle, even. Her eyes were clear and kind and didn’t whisper death threats in your ear. “These, Y/N. Have these hands ever taken life?”

You stared at her; the force of your nightmare dissipating around you launched you into a state of shock. It was a ghost that had haunted you, a shadow that never removed itself from you—something you could never get rid of.

But in the bathroom, there were no trees and there was no blood but your own.

You still had your guts in your stomach and you heart in your chest.

You shook your head.

She smiled, blinding in the close proximity. “Then you are not a Hunter, you are Y/N, a very special human. My most special human friend, someone I could not live without.”

The tears that fell could have been from the pain and exhaustion, from the relief of thinking you lost Namjoon, from the realization that your life was inextricably changed forever. But, for the first time in forever, you wanted to believe that they came from happiness.

It was funny how a vampire could be more human than humanity itself.

~.~

It was strange, to say the least. An odd feeling to have the roles reversed; like you were in a parallel universe where you were stronger than Kim Namjoon, the clan leader of the century. It didn’t feel right for you to be sitting curled up in the chair while he lay injured and breathing heavily on the bed.  How long ago was it that you woke up to those golden eyes? How long ago was it that you were in that bed while he was in that chair?

How long was it that you realized you didn’t want to be anywhere he wasn’t?

It had taken Jiwoo a tremendous amount of effort to get you upstairs and to the room—despite protests from both her and Taehyung who insisted that you get your own rest in a more comfortable place such as their own plush beds. However, you told them you wanted the chair; you told them that you wanted to see him—that you needed to be there. With pity in their eyes, they obliged if only because, by now, they knew you could be unreasonably stubborn when you wanted to.

It was a painful fold, no matter how you situated yourself in the furniture, you couldn’t get comfortable. Everything felt swollen and injured, threatening to tear your skin at the seams and spill all your metaphorical stuffing to the floor. But you wanted to be there.

It should have been boring, honestly. Sitting there aching and in pain and just staring at him as he slept should have been the epitome of torture. But it wasn’t.  There was something that stilled the panic inside of you just by watching him rest. Despite the way your fingers fiddled at your chest, you felt comfort in watching the rise and fall of his breaths. It didn’t help your nails from scratching at your skin as if you could reach through your own skin and rip out the device to blame for all of this. If you could have, you would have gone back in time and forced him back sooner. You wouldn’t have laid there on the asphalt like a tired heap of a human, you would have remembered about Jisung’s teleporter.

Maybe then this wouldn’t have been your fault.

But no what ifs and no time controlling could transfer this blame. Even the soft words from Jiwoo couldn’t erase the guilt settling in your gut. Nothing could stop the cacophony of sound from reverberating in your skull, bouncing through your brain until all you could hear was the endless repetition of “My fault. It’s my fault.”

Even when you screwed your eyes shut in the hopes that the loss of one sense would erase them all, it couldn’t stop the unbidden image of Namjoon falling as he screamed in pain. Nothing could uninstall that frame of mind you had when you thought that you were going to lose him forever. You were afraid like you hadn’t ever been.

You’d never had a need to be afraid for another person, because you’d never had any people you loved more than yourself.

You didn’t want to be in this world if Namjoon wasn’t; you didn’t want to imagine a life without him in it.

In that moment, your body went lax, a chuckle escaping you as the tears burst past the gaps in your eyelashes. You had to give up to move on. You had to give up because there wasn’t any way you could lie to yourself any longer.

You loved Kim Namjoon. More than you’ve ever loved anyone, more than you think you’d ever love anyone else.

He wouldn’t understand the sentiment, he wouldn’t reciprocate in the way you wanted him to, but it was better to have what you could than nothing at all, right? He cared for you, and that was enough—that had to be enough.

With a heavy sigh, you peeled open your eyes, tilting your head back to the spot where you knew Namjoon would be.

However, you didn’t expect to meet the intensity of his golden gaze in that exact moment. You didn’t expect him to be awake, one eyebrow raised at you as you nearly jumped out of your skin at the sight of an injured man coherent.

“What is so funny?” He murmured, his tone shifting the moment he caught the quick sight flash of a tear kamikaze-ing down your cheek. “Why are your eyes wet?”

You let out a bark of laughter, unable to help the sudden onslaught of fresh tears running wild. “It’s called crying, stupid.”

“But why?”

You loved him. You loved him so much.

Your eyes met his once more and you shook your head, your lips twisting into a sad version of a smile. “I don’t even know anymore.”

Letting your extremely unhelpful answer slide for the moment, his eyes flit across your features to linger heavily on the bruising evident from the blown out collar of your shirt—his piercing stare especially zeroed in on the blood seeping through the fresh bandages on your hands.

You could sense his hatred and anger without him ever uttering the words; you could taste it in the air as it soured on the back of your tongue.  All he had to do was look at you for you to know what he was thinking.

Was it the same for him?

You rested your chin in the palm of your hand in an attempt to hide some of the damage from his probing stare. “I’m fine, honestly. You…” you took in a sharp breath. “You almost weren’t.”

He sunk his head back into the pillow underneath him, however his gaze never wavered from you. “Humans are more fragile than I will ever be—you were also almost not fine.”

“Perhaps. But at least I didn’t have artery exposure to a substance I’m deathly allergic to.” You murmured, raising one eyebrow back at him.

He pursed his lips at you, an ever present crease gathering between his brows. “Touché.”

There was a brief moment where it was just the two of you, meeting each other’s stare. Naturally, you had to be the one to look away first, finding solace in the way your hand curled around the fabric of your jeans. It was easier than trying to decipher what that glimmer in his gaze meant.  

However, this time he was the one to break the silence first. “I’m sorry that I did not tell you what we were going out to do.”

You shrugged. “I want to say its fine, that I am overly emotional about a lot of things for no reason. But it’s not.”

He nodded. “It is not my intention to exclude you from these happenstances; however I value your life over your temporary satisfaction.”

“Will this be a long-term issue?”

“I hope to clear this mess as quickly as possible, as Jisung has decided to make himself far more annoying than initially planned.”

You bit your lip, your fingers kneading into the sore flesh of your thigh through the fabric. “It’s my fault, isn’t it? All of this. You wouldn’t be in this position if it weren’t for me.”

“Y/N, while it is true I may not have been a clan leader if it weren’t for your existence, I would still find myself in a similar predicament. We want to protect our mates.”

“You were born to be a clan leader.”

His eyes sparked with something you couldn’t yet name and you didn’t dwell on it for fear of your thoughts leaking into his. “I appreciate the compliment. I would appreciate it even more if you quit blaming yourself for the results of Jisung’s confrontation. This is not your fault—my injury is not your fault.”

“The tracking device is in me, it is my fault.”

He let out a long-winded sigh. “Is that what this is about? Something that the humans did to you? Do you now blame yourself for their faults as well? What they do to me, what they have done to you, is also not your fault.”

“But—“

“Y/N.” He slowly extended one hand out towards your chair, his fingers long and inviting—they looked like they might be real nice to lace through yours. “Come here.”

You didn’t move despite the fact that there was a tantalizing offer on the table, instead, you swallowed and forced yourself to face him with all of your mouse bravery. “I thought I was going to lose you from this. I thought that this was it, that I wasn’t going to see you alive anymore because of this stupid device. I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if…if…if…”

“If I died?” That damn eyebrow of his was at it again, incredulously raised just to mock you.

You gulped despite the fact that your mouth was dry. “Yes.”

His eyes were warm, warm in the same way that protected you years ago, warm in the way that engulfed you while attacking Jisung, warm in the way that only Kim Namjoon could be. “I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon; death is improbable because I have you.”

You felt your face heat up like a kettle on the stove, slowly seeping up your neck until the tips of your ears were burning. You really didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you embarrassed, but his words hit too suddenly for you to recover quickly.

“Besides, we now have matching scars.” He gestured to his bandaged and immobile shoulder before going back to offering you that extended hand.

Like the shittiest matching couple’s outfits.

“I would equate it more to couple’s tattoos—I saw those in one of those mating movies.”

You shook your head, too tired to correct his entire being in the moment. “That’s a curse, not a sign of affection—don’t you know those always end horribly?”

He rolled his eyes. “Y/N, will you just take my hand?”

“You need to sleep.” You whispered, despite the fact that your fingers were already reaching out to brush across his.

It took little to no effort for him to snap his hand around yours, ripping you from the sheltered safety of the chair and into his side as if that was the place you belonged. However, you could see a sheen of sweat break out across his skin from the effort exerted to move you like a ragdoll.

“You’re going to hurt yourself further! You’re still healing!” You snapped, though it had no bite with the heat emanating from your tomato cheeks at the close proximity to his face. You were absolutely, 100% sure that he could feel the way your heart jack-hammered against your sternum.

“Well you weren’t making it easy, so I had to do something.” He mumbled like a kicked puppy, wrapping his good arm around your shoulders to keep you pinned to him. “Besides, you’re warm in the way I like. You are a natural healing agent.”

“Stop saying embarrassing stuff!”

“But I like the way it makes your face turn different shades of burnt.”

“You’re lucky I don’t want to hit you because you’re injured!”

But he only laughed, the sound vibrating through your bones. “I am, aren’t I?”

You buried your face into his good shoulder so he could no longer get the satisfaction of flustering you with his being. “Stop watching romance movies—you’re getting cheesy.”

“What’s cheese?”

You groaned, reaching up to cover his eyes with your hand. “Just go to sleep already, would you?”

~.~

“You’re going to have to feed if you’re going to have any hope of getting off of that bed.” Yoongi’s glare was unrelenting; his arms crossed and frown permanently creased into his features. However, it appeared that Namjoon was otherwise distracted, his attention solely focused on you and Seokjin as he assessed your injuries. “Yah! Are you even listening?”

“No.” Both you and Namjoon spoke at the same time, much to your scowl and his shit-eating grin.

“He’s too busy focused on the person who’s been able to walk around and move just fucking fine this past week while he’s still bed-ridden and glued to a mattress.” You grumbled under your breath, wincing as Seokjin slipped a needle under your skin.

“What are you doing?” Namjoon asked instead of answering either you or Yoongi’s retorts.

“I’m giving her something to help with the swelling.” Seokjin murmured. “However, perhaps you should take the advice of your colleague and your mate and focus on yourself in the meantime.” He hit a particularly sore spot, whispering apologies as you pressed your lips into a line to unsuccessfully disguise the grunt of pain.

“I want to know what it is. I want to know how to help her—I don’t want to rely on you for everything.”

Dead puppies dead puppies. Daisies. Dogs. You missed dogs. It’d been a long time since you’d seen a dog.

You focused your ADHD thoughts on literally anything but the fact that you were relying on Seokjin for far more than making you better—you were relying on him for a secret that, if Namjoon were to catch, the two of you would be screwed. Well, maybe not you, but boy would you be pissed if you couldn’t get this fucking thing out of you. And you kinda sorta liked Seokjin enough that you really didn’t want to see him without a head.

“That is a concern for later, Joon. You can’t learn when you’re getting a fever from lack of food.”

It was almost cute how Namjoon pouted at the rejection. It was kind of cute how he wanted to be the one to be by your side always if it wasn’t for the fact that you were a strong independent woman who---

Who were you kidding, it was hella cute. You felt like a romance novel heroine living up the dream with her hot vampiric mate.

Well, if it weren’t for the fact that you weren’t the least bit the heroine that anyone would write about.

“Besides, she’ll be fine. She’s surprisingly durable for a human.”

Namjoon scoffed. “You hadn’t seen her the first time.”

“I can imagine based on the state of the second time.”

“Hey.” You waved your hands in the air like an idiot, smacking Seokjin extra if only because you couldn’t do the same to Namjoon. “I’m still here guys.”

Seokjin only chuckled. “For now. Make another mistake and you might not be. You have to be more careful.”

“Yeah yeah.” You groaned, even though everyone in the room could fully tell that you had absolutely no intention of doing just that as long as Namjoon’s life was on the line. Well, Seokjin especially—what with the time for your plan coming quicker than either of you were properly prepared for.

“So are you going to feed or what?” Yoongi snapped, causing you to hide a burst of laughter behind your hand.

Namjoon glared at the elder. “If you carry me. I am not about to expose her to that.”

So you become a toddler when you are bed-ridden and can’t move.

“I heard that.” He snapped.

“You were meant to.” You chuckled, sticking out your tongue until Seokjin tested your reflexes by slapping his hand against your knee, causing you to let out a quick yelp that had everyone in the room laughing.

~.~

He was basking in the afterglow of his meal, and despite the fact that he probably just killed a human, you couldn’t help the smile on your face. He looked the healthiest he’d been in days; it was amazing what the required nutrients could do to a being.

“Shouldn’t you be scared?” He murmured as you wiped a rag down his face to clean up the blood splattered there. It wasn’t his, that much you knew.

“Probably.” You murmured, tilting his head to the side to gain access to his neck. Somehow he even managed to get it along his collar bones. There was a big part of you that knew you should have thought about the person behind the blood, the person whose fear made this vampire so healthy—the person who’s life had to end for his to continue. But, with no body and your worry otherwise focused on Namjoon’s healing, you felt more like a mother cleaning up a toddler who just shoved their face in chocolate cake. “But there are sacrifices for everything, aren’t there?”

“There are. But am I worth those human lives?”

You wanted to tell him yes, to say that he was far more important than any of those lives—but that was selfish of you and that was your heart talking over your mind. So instead, you remained silent and let the quiet in the air force you to choose your words carefully.

“Did you…did you kill them?”

“I did today.” He murmured, refusing to meet your gaze. “Does that upset you?”

You dried his face with the clean cloth, shrugging. “Not as much as it should. From what I understand, you’re a picky eater.” And it was the honest truth; you were surprisingly okay for it for someone who literally puked the last time she even thought about a dead body.

He snorted, his eyes glued somewhere towards the wall. “I don’t usually.” He whispered, almost as if he was afraid of your answer. “I don’t usually kill them—humans at least. Hunters are different, but the ones that are brought in from the enclaves I don’t like to destroy.”

“You have to keep them around as a food source. Right?”

He shook his head. “No. It’s not that. I just feel…they were left behind by their own people. They were sacrificed for their own kind—it’s not right to me to take what little they have left from them.”

“You pity them?”

“I suppose I do.”

You sat back on your heels, staring at the side of his face if only because he wouldn’t meet you head on. It was one of the rare occasions where it appeared that the most fearsome clan leader in all of the continent seemed afraid himself.

It was quiet, if only because you knew he had more to say—more to get off his chest. So you waited until he turned to face you, to ask you the question burning at the back of his throat.

“Do you hate me for it?”

“For killing?”

He nodded and you couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle. “I have never seen you like this before. What made you show this side of yourself to me?”

“You make me question my entire existence Y/N. I don’t know humans; I don’t understand how they think. I prefer your smile to your face when it lets loose water—“

“When I cry.” You murmured stupidly.

“When you cry, yes. I dread your fear more for your sake than my own.  When I picked you up off the street so long ago and brought you back here, I thought I could handle it if you despised me. But now, I don’t think that I could.”

It took your breath away, how honest he was. He was always honest, albeit grumpy and sometimes irritating. But he could say these things to your face; he never hid his feelings from you—his thoughts and his worries. That was more than you could have said for yourself. How did you come to deserve someone like him when you were so….flawed?

“I don’t hate you for being what you are. I’m not afraid of you for killing.” You rolled your tongue along your teeth, trying to find the right words in the hodgepodge whirlwind running through your mind. “I mean, I don’t want to see you feed. I don’t want to watch you kill because I have the spine of a coward and I would probably be afraid in that moment. But of you? Never. Not anymore. Despite what you are, Kim Namjoon you are my…. My….”

“Mate?” He whispered, his eyes searching your face as if it had the answers to questions he had yet to ask.

You shook your head. “Despite what you are, Kim Namjoon, I am yours.”

You couldn’t say he was yours, you didn’t own him. He was the leader of a clan; he was the property of many peoples. He couldn’t give you all of himself like you could give to him. He couldn’t give you the love you wanted, but you could give him yours. It was the truth, a double edged sword that both healed and hurt you at the same time. But that was what it was like to love someone like Kim Namjoon.

And if that was the most you could have then you would run with it until the end of the world.

He cocked his head at you, still trying to decipher the meaning behind your stance. “You told me you were not property.”

You let your shoulders slump, a horrible groan ripping from your throat as you fought back the redness of your ears with every fiber of your being. “For the love of God, you are the densest fucking vampire ever.”

“I don’t understand.”

You snorted. “I know, but that’s okay for now. For now, you have to get better so you can get that pea brain of yours working properly.”

“Hey!”

You laughed, enjoying the way that your laughter enticed his own.

~.~

“Namjoon?” You murmured to the quiet of the room, carefully watching the even rise and falls of his chest. “You awake?”

It was a whisper, but you knew, if he were conscious, he would hear it. Recovery had been hard on him; it was a slow process that took time and effort. But, you felt that he was just now beginning to get to a place where you could be positive that he would be fine. You needed him to be fine before you did this. You needed him to be fine but immobile—because then he couldn’t stop you. This was prime timing for what you were about to do, for the crazy decision your idiot ass was about to make. You knew if you didn’t gun for it now, you would never get a chance like this again.

When he didn’t respond, you slowly, ever so slowly, shifted towards the edge of bed.

Carefully, watching his every waking breath and move, you peeled yourself from the bed without so much as a squeak from the loudest mattress springs on planet earth.

Padding to the door like a kid trying not to wake their mom after curfew, you gave him one last parting glance over your shoulder. “I’ll be back.” You nodded to him as if he could actually hear you--as if that could still the rapid thumping of your heart in your chest. You swore you could feel the beat in your throat.

It was a lie that you wanted to believe. You didn’t know if you’d be back, you didn’t know what was going to happen in the span of a few hours. Maybe you wouldn’t be, but you had to have hope if you wanted your feet to move out into that hallway.

With the door closed gingerly behind you, you took a moment to stare at the wood. It was imperative that you gained your resolve once more before continuing onward.

This was for him; this was to prevent incidents like this. You didn’t want to be to blame if they humans came again, you didn’t want to be the cause of his death. You were absolutely positive that you wouldn’t be able to handle it all a second time.

Seokjin was already standing outside the door, quietly waiting for you to meet his gaze. You could feel the heat of him by your side. Patient but ready.

You were thankful for him now more than ever.

Without a word, you nodded to him and the two of you set off outside.

~.~

You busied yourself by playing with the scalpel on the table next to you instead of focusing on the bright ring lights, on the metal table under your ass and the button up shirt you wore for easier access to your chest. You tried to not think about the fact that soon your organs would be exposed to the air in the shed--hat soon you would be either dead or better for it. But, well, that pretending was becoming increasingly harder to do.

“You did a real good job cleaning this place up, Jin.”

“I can taste your fear, Y/N. There’s no point in hiding it now.” He murmured, his back turned to you as he thoroughly scrubbed at his hands. “But thank you. I had to make sure it would be a proper place to do this.”

“You even fixed the floorboards—I didn’t figure you one for carpentry.”

He chuckled. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“I suppose.” You could see yourself in the polished metal, how haggard your face was, how your expressions belittled your resolve. “If I really start to get afraid, you won’t kill me, right?” It was a horrible squeak that made you hate your rabbit tendencies all the more.

“I won’t. I have far more restraint at a mere human’s fear.” He chuckled. “Yours included.”

“That’s the first time that ‘mere human’ feels like a comforting phrase coming from a vampire.”

He shot you a glance over his shoulder, his eyebrows knitting together. “We don’t have to do this now, Y/N. We don’t have to do this at all. There are other options—other—“

“No.” You shook your head, setting the scalpel down as Seokjin grabbed a pair of latex gloves he had set by the sink. “We’ve come too far and done too much. We’re doing this.”

“Are you sure?”

“100%” You smiled, though it felt more grimace than smile. It seemed to work for Seokjin, if only because you bet he knew by know that you were stubborn and scared and jumped into things head-on without thinking. If you decided that this was what you were going to do, then he had no power to stop you.

He started towards you, towards the little table he’d procured for his medical supplies. His fingers ghosted over the anesthetic he chose—an oral one, since the last thing he needed was further fear attracting others to you. Needles were a hard pass in a compound full of vampires who could taste fear in the air.

He lifted the prepared cup, handing it over to you.

You, for your part, were surprisingly calm as you started down at the liquid—translucent red, like a punch or a fruity drink. It most definitely was not, but one could pretend.

“Don’t make this be the last time I see your face, okay?” Your voice was weak despite the smile in your statement. “And Namjoon…if he—“

“You’re coming back, Y/N.” Seokjin murmured. “I won’t let you die on this table.”

“I know.” You smiled, heaving out the deepest of sighs from your chest. “I think I just wanted to hear you say it.” You swallowed your own spit, raising your little plastic cup to the air. “Cheers.”

And then it was sliding down your throat, calm and cool and oh-so-fucking terrible tasting. It was like they tried to flavor it with cherry to make it easier but artificial cherry tasted like shit. You remembered when you were seven and your mom bought a bag of cherries from the grocery store to try. You remembered her laugh at your face as you realized the medicine you grew up on was a huge lie to the reality of the sweet fruit.

You didn’t know why you were remembering her now.

You wondered if she still thought of you. If you died, would she ever know?

“It’ll take a few minutes to sink in.” Seokjin murmured, his hands gently pushing you back onto the table. “So relax.”

“Okay.” You whispered more to yourself than to him, shaking off the bitter taste in the back of your throat. “Okay.”

It was silent for a moment. That one quick moment of peace. It was refreshing; it was the calm before a shitstorm large enough to tear you in two.

In the span of a few seconds, the table you were on was suddenly knocked over, sending you careening to the floor in a pile of limbs and confusion. In your out-of-body experience, you could hear Seokjin shouting something that you couldn’t make out. You had to squint to even see him past the sudden, blaring reality that you were on the ground.

Apparently, his shouting was directing you to “for the love of god move!” considering he was landing a punch on a freshly teleported Freckles.

It was horrible and gut-wrenching to know that the reason your head was fuzzy was the due to the anesthetic you could still feel coating your throat and that you had about five minutes before you would be gone to the world.

In the chaos and the crushing realization that you would be of zero help, you found that you couldn’t even make a noise.

“J-Jin!” Your voice was soft to your own disoriented ears as you struggled to your feet. “Jin!” It, unfortunately, wasn’t getting any louder with your increased effort.

“Get out of here, Y/N!”

You frowned, brow furrowed as you took one step, then two lurching ones towards the door—you had to get help. You had to do something for Seokjin, somehow—you had to get someone better than the ticking time bomb that was you.

However, your efforts were thwarted almost instantly by the arm that looped around your waist, yanking you back into the enemy vampire’s chest.

“Oh no you don’t.” Theulgiestvampireever hissed.

You thrashed as much as you could, but your body felt five times heavier than it should have and your attempts amounted to absolutely nothing.

With a forceful kick, Freckles knocked Seokjin backwards and to the ground, blood dripping down both of their foreheads. Seokjin looked up at you through the leaking injury running past his eye, his hand enclosing around your ankle in one last, desperate effort to save you.

“Y/N!”

You couldn’t see Freckles’ evil grin, or the look on his face or the way his leg lifted to deliver a final crushing blow. But you did hear his chuckle next to your ear; you did hear the snap of bone as his heel crashed down onto Seokjin’s hand. You didn’t miss the way Seokjin’s head snapped back dangerously when met by the force of Freckle’s knee.

You screamed even though no sound came out.

I’m sorry Namjoon. You thought before reality shifted around you, breaking you into that nauseating place between worlds. The moment, thankfully, only lasted a few long seconds before you were launched into a heap outside of the fencing of Namjoon’s compound.

You gasped for breath, trying to help yourself to your feet to no avail. Your body was now too heavy for you to move it of your own accord and, when you tilted your head to the night sky, you realized that you couldn’t even feel the asphalt digging into the skin of your palms.

The world blurred around you, despite every effort to keep it in focus.

“Now who’s pathetic?” You hated the sound of his voice, hated that it haunted your nightmares and made you fear for Namjoon’s life. He bent down to your form to pick you up as if you were empty, as if you were nothing more than a slightly weighted bag to sling over his shoulder.

“You ready to meet a god, Y/N?” Jisung chuckled.

You grasped for anything to keep you tethered to your surroundings, fists weakly hitting his back. But, it was useless. It was all so useless. Before you could stop it, you were tumbling into unconsciousness.

~.~

When you finally came to, you had a pounding headache and found that were suddenly unable to move at all.

Well, for one, it was hard to move when your body was still stiff from however long you were out cold. Secondly, it really didn’t help that your arms were twisted behind you and bound by zip ties so tight you felt them cutting off circulation. Your legs didn’t fare any better, considering they were each bound to the front legs of the hard, metal chair you found yourself on.

With a groan to the ceiling, you tilted your head to scan your surroundings and get a better grasp of the reality of the situation you were in. If it weren’t for the fact that your brain wasn’t fully awake, you probably would have split in half from the force of your fear.

The room you were in was dilapidated and fading, however, you came to the conclusion that it was once used for education. Desks were piled in a corner, a broken chalkboard littering the floor to your left with bits of crushed chalk and dust. However, the second you fully awoke, you found that you couldn’t get a good look at much else because your attention was immediately drawn to the table set up next to you. Sitting atop of it was a laptop screen, plugged in via extension cord and a surprisingly quiet generator. Jisung sat smugly next to the laptop, lips twisted in a grin that would put nightmare shadows to shame.

But you were too glued to the sight of Namjoon’s face in the video feed provided by the laptop to care about much else.

He was sitting upright in his bedroom. He must be at the vanity. You thought, stupidly.

He, for obvious reasons, was not as happy to see your face as you were to see his.

“Ah! See that Joonie? Looks like she’s coming to.” Jisung chuckled, hopping off of the desk to take slow, predatory strides towards you. You briefly wondered just how long he had been sitting there, watching you and babbling nonsense to Namjoon.

You were still too groggy to feel too much fear at the action. Rather, you met Namjoon’s gaze through the screen and grimaced.

“Shit.” Was the first, creative, intelligent, and breathtaking thing to come out of your mouth.

“Shit indeed.” Jisung laughed, like a fucking clown from a horror movie you once watched with your best friend back behind the walls of the human world. Before you could react, Jisung’s hand was in your hair, yanking your head back to expose your throat to the coolness of the room.

“Let go of her.” Namjoon growled; the sound was low and scary even to your half-conscious brain. You could see the muscles in his arm flex, his lip curled in a snarl. It would have been attractive were you not in a predicament that had you wanting to shit your pants.

Jisung inhaled, and, even from your awkward angle, you could see the way his eyes glinted with a fresh feed. “Her fear is so fucking good.”

You quickly gathered that this was all just a pissing contest, a power move to bring Namjoon down.  All you would ever be was a pawn, a toy to lure him out. Granted, you, on your own weren’t worth much, but it still sickened you to know that it was about all you would be good for. Vampire or human, it didn’t matter. They just wanted you to kill him—and by gods if you were just going to let it happen.

“Let’s play that game we talked about while she was sleeping, okay Joonie?” The nickname sounded absolutely disgusting coming from Jisung’s mouth. If you could, you would have slapped him yourself (and probably instantly regretted it, but you were always more of a do now think later kind of girl).

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

“What game?” You whispered, your breath hitching as Jisung let go of you far too violently for your own taste, travelling somewhere just behind you. You hated how his eyes glowed from your fear once more, your body shivering at the sudden awareness of the temperature of the room around you.  “Namjoon—what game?” You looked to him for guidance, but his eyes were cold and rimmed with dark circles. How long was he sitting there, watching you sleep through a screen? “Why are you making him watch this?” You whispered.

Jisung, however, did not have the care for his volume as you did for yours. “Because, dear Y/N, there is no point in torture if it doesn’t rile him up. Pictures would have sufficed but, I am a reaction man. I gotta see his face as it happens, live.” By the time he was finished, the last word were hissed into the shell of your ear. Brought with the enemy vampire, was a blade so big it could have covered your whole face. Jisung twisted it, his gaze never leaving Namjoon’s.

[vaguely-concerned]

Some more mass effect andromeda thinky thoughts as I run around heleus getting some achievements! 

- the murderous angaran ai is genuinely so fucking funny. “How are you feeling here on Aya?” “I hope you die” “Is there anything we could do to make you more comfortable?” “BURY THIS PLANET UNDER FIRE AND ASH” “o.oookay. Goodbye then.” “I HATE you.”

- I hope I never become irresistibly moved to write mass effect andromeda fic b/c there really is no other description for a good 70% of the expressions reyes makes than :> and how could one capture that in words

- as mentioned I’ve been doing a bit of achievement hunting and in the process I’ve been switching up a lot of gameplay stuff from how I handled it the first few times around and let me tell you it’s baller as fuuuuuuuuuck -- it just looks so awesome and is so satisfying between the maneuverability of the jetpack and biotic charge and the effects. special shoutout to what happens if you biotic charge a frozen victim enemy and the biotic pull/push combination. (throwing people around like ragdolls is actually so much fun I’ve kept doing it even after I unlocked the achievement lol)

- lol lol when you get meridian online there’s the montage of every planet coming back to life, right? well the one on kadara is from inside kralla’s song, with umi looking out at everything that’s happening. and all I can imagine is her jaded-ass voice going ‘what the fUCK did that asshole kid do now I only just cleaned up after the bar brawl he started with his krogan grandpa and now he’s rearranging the entire fucking planet right from under us goddess I need a drink’ 

- the implication that reyes ‘cards so close to my chest you won’t even know I’m playing’ vidal just does not shut up about how amazing ryder is to anyone who’ll listen gives me so much life. when you try to be mysterious and laidback but the human pathfinder is so fucking cute tho Y____Y (also go watch his scenes if you’re being standoffish with him the entire time -- he clearly wants ryder to like him so much right from the beginning, he’s doing so much work to no avail and I feel sort of bad for how funny I find it haha. interesting that it really does seem to be an emotional thing as well as y’know the practical/tactical benefits of having the pathfinder on his side. methinks the charlatan might be a bit lonely there behind all his masks lol) 

I think this is why I’m willing to give him some benefit of the doubt too, despite all the cloak and dagger stuff -- he’s so immediately drawn to ryder, who you can never make a bad person, really. something in him must respond to that, if potentially only in the ‘attracted to traits I do not possess myself’ way hahaha

- I love sam. so so much. some of the open world implementation is still grating (yes sam. yes I know I can mine this area for resources through my mining interface. we’ve been doing this for a hundred hours sam. you’ve been right here with me the entire time sam. please sam), but he’s SUCH a good and I’d argue underutilized concept (emotionally at least) and the best boy. the fact that he can get SARCASTIC on you fsdhfjsadh he’s growing and learning! he’s doing so from inside your brain which is kind of unsettling but also SO COOL! there’s something about that level of intimacy, of always knowing there will be someone there with you in your head that is super interesting and deserves to be examined more fully -- both how it could be comforting and how it’s  r e a l l y  not how people or ai are generally designed to work lol. 

he also gives us a unique link with our dad and I wonder if the writers would have explored that in more depth if there’d been more development time -- it practically SCREAMS out an invitation to get to play/see things from alec’s POV in short bursts, like the memories you unlock except you could go through playing it as him since sam is common to both of us. (see my ‘our dad comes back through either kett or remnant nonsense in the sequel and we need to find some way to connect with him’ idea. it would be. amazing. listen alec already looked at the ethical guidelines involved in creating ai and went ‘huh interesting ideas but not for me thanks!’, don’t tell me he wouldn’t have left some loophole in so this could happen)  

- reyes literally says ‘the cavalry’s here’ when we get to meridian and I for one love him more than words can express (he also asks us if we’re okay in sort of a sweet/worried way right before we get to the control room. aw buddy) 

- like we don’t think of them like that because we’re in control of them and see all the stumbles and awkwardness and how young they are all the time, but damn the ryder twins must look like something else to everyone in andromeda haha. they literally stride around like demigods restoring entire planets. on voeld spring non-metaphorically follows in their footsteps. shit dude if we’re talking realpolitik here the angara must feel  p r e t t y nervous about this -- there’s no one saying they can’t turn off the vaults as easily as they turned them on. I hope we get them somehow teaching the angara how to do it too, on a smaller scale at least, as a show of good faith or something in a sequel, because that power imbalance is disconcerting  

- I’m glad sam and I have such similar priorities whenever we’re on kadara. ‘maybe mr vidal would know. perhaps we should ask mr vidal about this. mr vidal said something relating to this pathfinder maybe we should speak to him’ . yeah sam i know the feeling, same (it does undeniably read as sam having a bit of a crush which is. hilarious?) 

- the fact that alec ryder thought ellen responded to his bad boy act in any way when what really charmed her was that he was a great big nerd <3 it’s kind of nice to see a fictional marriage that seems to have just been. nice and stable and chill? just two intellectual equals who like and respect each other very much and not a lot of drama until alec went full alec and started developing rogue ai instead of watching his wife die lol. again I would love for the sequel to involve ellen finally waking up and being like ‘death? trying to claim MY husband? I do not think so, I can die he can’t he’s not leaving me behind’ and helping out and you realize that the reason they were soulmates was that under the relatively rational and unemotional surface they’re both, at heart, batshit crazy mad scientists who are insanely devoted to each other. imagine it tho! the people of andromeda realize alec ryder is back from the dead somehow and doing some Shit out there, they put a ton of resources into curing ellen’s disease because their best shot is something to do with the implants she made, hey presto we’ve got all ryders on the board and in play. 

- just want to make it clear that I’m still sad about avitus rix and hope he’s having a good day

- do you think ryder ever asks sam to read something to him ‘aloud’ in his head if he’s anxious and can’t sleep. or just to talk at him about something boring until he nods off. again the possibilities inherent in the concept!!! he has someone who’s closer to him than any other person could be, what’s that like? 

- *me sticking to my sidewinder pistol the whole playthrough even though it’s laughably inefficient* I just wanna feel like a cowboy bioware please work with me here

- the male ryder voice actor has such amazing comedic timing, there’s a lot of reaction stuff out in the field he absolutely nails. I enjoy the female voice too and I like how much emotion she manages to convey towards the end of the game especially, but there’s a casual comedy in male ryder’s voice that can’t be beat. (well, it’s not hawke levels, but then nothing ever is, that’s too much to ask)

- I love vorn and kesh so much. nerd krogans unite & make out

- I still want to sit peebee down and have a long serious talk with her about emotional abuse, maybe give her a hug :( fuck kalinda 

- this game does not get enough credit for how stunningly beautiful it is, it all got buried under criticism about the animations and it’s a fucking shame. the last few vaults you go through are just mindboggling in scale and visual uh striking-ness. it makes me so sad to think there won’t be any more of it D: 

- I really like this mainly casual + logical dialogue options ryder I’ve found; it makes him sound like a younger and more irreverent version of his father, but also softer and less closed off and much more willing to show affection for his family especially. 

- i wonder if different people’s individual SAMs will take on a certain tone/unique pattern when they’ve coexisted long enough. have I mentioned. how much I want a sequel to this game 

- one last reyes note because don’t look at me okay -- I wonder how much we’re meant to read into ‘being honorable never got me anywhere’. on the one hand I’m fully prepared to believe he’s never even tried doing anything the honorable way in his entire life lol but on the other there’s also some interesting potential in the interplay of that sentence and ‘to be someone’. (there seems to be a deep fear in him both of powerlessness and of being truly seen/recognized -- he equates secrecy with safety pretty explicitly -- which seems... telling? of what I don’t know but telling all the same hahaha) like he might be saying he’s tried doing things the ‘right’ way and it didn’t work and the price was too high, so he just went for this instead with the ends low-key justifying the means. hmmm. :Ia (this is what happens when I get Attached to a character with like an hour of screentime my friends, and I’m already primed to give my entire heart away at the sound of nicholas boulton’s voice)

[inked-in-art]

I decided to finally give Orange Sodalite more of a backstory and a crew!

Learn more about them under the cut (theres a lot there)

Orange Sodalites in the first batch he was from tended to have trouble with their electric powers due to their experimental nature and kept poofing gems around them, so many were given quickly made spinels to help keep them from stressing or freaking out. Orange Sodalites that were shown to have much potential were given pearls to educate and help them.

When Orange Sodalite defected from homeworld his pearl (bubble pearl) and his Blue Spinel left with him. They took a small ship and went off to explore the stars. Orange Sodalite due to unknown reason cannot stay on planets for more than about a decade before having to go back to space or he will become stir crazy and become grouchy and angry out of his control. They do tend to make small bases on empty planets they find so that off colors and other gems they help can go to those planets and live in small groups safely.

Orange Sodalite went on a solo supply run during one of these base building jobs and his ship was hit by space junk, causing him to crash land on earth about 35 years ago. He’s been exploring abandoned gem ruins he’s found to try and find some sort of parts he can use to fix his ship to no luck when he accidentally warps into Steven’s house and gets poofed for awhile (His electricity pops the bubble after awhile, this also takes place sometime during the peridot redemption arc when she still lived in the bathroom)

Bubble Pearl is uptight and very protective of her crew (her weapon is a Halberd). She’s much more cautious of helping off colors and other gems they meet because she puts her crew’s, especially Orange Soda’s, safety above all others. She’s sort of the mom of the group and the only one with any real common sense.

Spinel is very laid back and excitable (unknown weapon as she hasnt been able to summor it yet). She’s a little childish and often doesnt understand the danger or harshness of the situations the crew is in. She is helpful for keeping Pearl and the other crew members in good spirits and from falling apart.

Pale blue pearl (aka blind pearl) is well,,, blind. She was intended to be a blue pearl but was implanted to close to a white pearl (who would turn out to be a dud and never grow very much) and they got stuck together. Due to the other gem being stuck it caused problems when she forms, specifically she is completely unable to see. Her weapon is a staff which she uses like a cane and she can use mild echolocation to get the general idea of where things and other gems are. Also due to this dud part of her gem she cannot fuse for more than 5 minutes (7 being her current record)

Zoisite is intended to be a peridot style of gem but Zoisite was placed in the ground wrong, causing her to absorb way to many nutrients (causing the gems placed next to her to come out to small) and she came out much bigger than she should have been. She’s a little slow but she’s very smart and sweet. She doesn’t quite know her own strength either (She loves to give hugs but will sometimes poof more fragile gems when doing so). She watches out for Blind pearl and they work together to stay safe.

Grey pearl was created in a bad spot too, causing her gem to be deformed and her not being able to fully form (missing her leg). Her weapon acts as a prosthetic but she was quickly discarded after she was created.

Iolite was created under similar circumstances a few centuries later, though missing her arm (her weapons also served as a prosthesis). Her fellow Iolites from her batch realized she would be shattered hid her and gave her a headstart to run away. She found a small group of off colors that she joined, which had Grey pearl in it. Iolites cheerful and rambunctious attitude helped bring Grey pearl out of her depression and they ended up falling in love.

Benitoite is the fusion of Iolite and Grey pearl, they are a semi-perma fusion though they do tend to fall apart a lot due to grey pearls anxiety spirals.  They love being fused though because they feel whole when they’re fused. Benitoite does have a hole in their leg and only 3 arms due to their components missing pieces.They decided to stay with Orange Sodalite rather than the off colors they were originally with because they wanted to help other gems like them

Ruby was part of a large group or rubies meant to guard a few sapphires. At an event they were at Ruby met Aquamarine and they quickly fell in love. When they could they would often sneak off to spend time together and at one point accidentally fused into Rubellite

Rubellite is a very energetic gem, and as soon as ruby and aquamarine had fused they never wanted to unfuse which of course got them caught causing them to run off which they ran into Orange Sodalite, bubble pearl and spinel while they were stealing some equipment. Orange sodalite helped them hide and escape and rubellite just kinda stuck around.

[saiilorstars]

The Girl in the Forest

Chapter 2: The Interest

// Story Masterlist //

Pairings: Klaus Mikaelson x Original Female Character

Summary: Maleny continues her endeavor to get Klaus to listen to her story. In the process, she befriends Davina without realizing the young girl is at her end.

Pronunciation of OC: Ma-leh-nee

No real warnings for now!

Cami had been more than concerned when her best friend, and cousin, hadn't appeared until late at night and partially drunk. Though at that moment Cami did think Maleny would be leaving and hadn't said anything. But today in the morning she found Maleny unpacking her clothes, meaning she was actually going to stay! Cami felt awful in wishing Maleny would just leave but Maleny had no business being in the city of supernatural problems. She had a life of her own and was looking through universities. She had to GO!

"I'll even pitch in and help pay for the ticket if you need help," Cami continued saying.

Maleny sat on the foot of her bed, cross-legged, and was simply watching in silence Cami pacing. She probably shouldn't think it, but it was actually very amusing watching Cami act like this. From the implanted stories she recalled Cami being overprotective of nearly everyone she cared for so Maleny wasn't surprised of this behavior. Still, she did feel guilty for letting Cami get all worried over her when in reality Maleny should be worrying over what kind of business Cami had to do with Klaus.

"Why the rush for me to leave?" she innocently asked Cami. It seemed like Cami was well informed about the supernatural creatures she lived among but to what extent?

Cami stopped pacing and looked at Maleny, "It's for your safety. This city is not what it seems, believe me."

Maleny smirked, knowing just how different the city was. It contained supernatural beings bent on world domination. Though she decided to mess with Cami for a bit and continued asking innocent questions like she had no idea.

"But don't you want to spend time together? It's been how many years since we've seen each other?"

Cami sighed, "Two years..."

It was probably the longest time the two women had seen each other, Cami thought. Maleny was twenty three and now that she could travel on her own Cami expected a lot more visits. They were awfully close and now that she was here, it hurt Cami a lot to send Maleny away. But it was the right thing to do...right?

"So why can't I stay?" Maleny threw a fake pout, making Cami sigh again and fill her with even more guilt.

"...because, the city is dangerous. There's thieves and assaults and besides, you know what happened to Sean. The O'Connell's aren't very liked right now."

"I don't care," Maleny shrugged carelessly, "I've never cared what people say about me. Plus, you and I both know that Sean didn't go crazy."

"And he didn't," Cami assured once again, "but that's not what everyone else thinks. Please, you just have to go. I can come visit you later in the year-"

"Cami, I'm not going anywhere," Maleny felt Cami deserved to know at least that detail. Maleny had no interest in leaving the city when she was so close to finding about her mystery.

"Why not?" Cami groaned and came up to Maleny, "This is city is dangerous. It's filled with-"

"Vampires?" Maleny raised an eyebrow, smirking widely as Cami looked at her with wide eyes.

"How did you...?"

"I met one last night," Maleny began to explain, deciding to leave the part where she'd done endless research out on supernatural beings out of the talk, "Well, I was almost dinner to two of them-"

"WHAT!?"

"But then another came to save me," Maleny finished with calmness, "He bought me some drinks and we talked."

"You had a drink with them?" Cami asked, knowing this wouldn't be good already, "Exactly which one?"

Maleny's smirk returned, "He was a good looking one. English accent like mine?"

Cami's eyes nearly popped out of her eyes, her face going pale as she began figuring it out, "Oh no...please tell me it wasn't..."

"The one you threatened last night - because yeah, I followed you - then I was caught and assaulted and saved and blah, blah, blah," Maleny shook her head, "But if you mean Klaus Mikaelson then yes, it was. He's kind of hot, isn't he?"

"Okay, this has gone all wrong," Cami sat down besides Maleny, her gaze stuck blankly ahead as she considered all te ways her cousin could turn out dead, "You cannot be serious..."

"He didn't eat me, clearly," Maleny gestured to herself, "No," she smiled to herself, "he was...fun - in a darkish way," she also decided to leave the part of her odd visions out of the talk. No one needed to know about that.

"Maleny, please," Cami turned to her, "please, just pick up your things and get out of here before you end up hurt."

But Maleny jumped off the bed and shrugged, "No can do. Tickets were all booked for today and besides, I've got to visit a new friend."

"You are not seeing Klaus anymore!" Cami snapped and pointed a violent finger at her cousin.

"Cami, I love you, but you can't tell me what to do," Maleny set her hands on her hips, "I'm going to go see Davina today."

"But she's at the..." Cami trailed off, feeling her heart nearly stop at the realization, "...no. Absolutely not, Mal! Look, Klaus is very dangerous, not to mention a lunatic."

"I'm more interested in seeing Davina," Maleny shrugged, "But I probably will be seeing him again. So please, don't pull a mum on me and 'ground me' or anything like that."

"Mal, just listen, please," Cami clapped her hands together, "Hear me out!"

"I'd love to but I'm heading out," Maleny walked for her bag on a table and headed for the doors. She knew Cami would bring out an entire list of pros and cons regarding her stay in the city - it was such a Cami thing to do. But unfortunately for Cami, Maleny had made up her mind and there was no changing it.

Cami ran after Maleny up to the front door, "Mal!"

"I'll see you later!" Maleny gave a big wave and hurried off.

Cami took a long breath and looked around, there was no getting rid of Maleny if the woman clearly didn't want to go. She was as stubborn as a mule. Cami would have to come up with another way to convince Maleny to leave. In the meantime, she'd be keeping a very close eye on her and try her best to keep Maleny safe.

~ 0 ~

Maleny walked into the compound's courtyard and stopped at the sight of a blonde woman: Rebekah. She tried her best to look calm and not like the woman who had watched Rebekah yesterday like a hawk. That was a sure way to die.

Rebekah was sat at one of the tables and looked up at the sound of footsteps, seeing a brunette woman across, "And you would be...?"

"Friend," Maleny said, feeling a bit sad that Rebekah didn't know how much that word actually described the relationship they apparently had. It seemed like they had been best friends by what she was beginning to remember.

Rebekah stood up with an almost condescending look, "Funny, I don't recall making any new friends today."

"I meant of Davina's," Maleny crossed her arms, "And you are?" it would be rather strange if she suddenly spoke Rebekah's name like nothing. She had to act like she knew nothing of Rebekah.

"Rebekah Mikaelson, and you?"

"Maleny," the brunette sheepishly said.

"I thought I heard the voice of the human," Klaus's voice made both women look up, Maleny frowning at the name she had been branded with, "Something wrong?"

"If we're going to keep meeting I'd appreciate if you didn't call me 'human' as my name," Maleny crossed her arms.

"I'll let you know what I come up with," he shrugged.

Maleny sent him a glare that did not go unnoticed by Rebekah, "Prick," Maleny spat.

Rebekah raised her eyebrows, "I like her," she declared with a grin.

"I've yet to decide how I feel," Klaus muttered and shook his head, motioning for Maleny to come up, "Well come on, your little witch friend woke up in a rowdy mood today."

"Well I'd be too if I was hunted down by vampires," Maleny called.

"Mm, not quite," Rebekah said, making her glance over, "Try 'upset because my one true love was poisoned by a sadistic hybrid'."

Maleny's eyes widened as she looked up at Klaus, "You did what?"

"Yes, yes, old news, really. Are you going to come up or not, Maleny?" he made sure to articulate her name for emphasis.

Maleny was still stunned of what she had heard, but she shouldn't be so surprised. She'd seen those kind of things so many times before.

"Maleny?" Klaus nearly snapped, "Hurry up."

"Was it that hard to use my name?"

"I think you should just be happy I don't call you lunch," he warned as she came up.

She scoffed, "Please, you wouldn't eat me."

Klaus felt like this was a challenge he was just itching to win. He liked to prove her wrong. In no time he had the human pinned against the wall and fangs out for display, making her shriek.

"Okay I believe you!" she cried, eyes wide with terror. Klaus smirked and let her go, receiving a slap across the face a moment after Maleny had recollected herself, "Prick," she said before going off to find Davina.

Rebekah had been watching from below and decided she now really liked Maleny, "Oh, she's good."

Even after he had felt the sting of the slap, Klaus still let a small smirk escape his lips as he followed after Maleny. After a bad-turn-of-events he could use a bit of amusement. Maleny was surprisingly good at it.

Maleny was led to Davina's room where she was greeted by a hostile Marcel who marched up to the doorway, blocking the entrance, "What the hell are you doing here?" he recalled her from yesterday.

Maleny rolled her eyes, "Is everyone going to seriously keep asking me this? I just came to see Davina, my friend."

"Marcel, move aside," Davina ordered, but the man refused, "Marcel."

With a final glare at her, Maleny was able to walk towards Davina, taking a seat beside her bed. Davina studied the brunette woman and looked back at Klaus and Marcel, "You haven't compelled her to forget?" she asked with surprise.

"I'm curious to see how this one works out," Klaus shrugged.

Davina looked back at Maleny, curiously asking, "Why are you here?" this was no place for her, just like Cami, it was best for Maleny to stay away from the compound to avoid more compulsion or trouble. Why would Maleny purposely come here? And better yet, why would she be allowed to come here? Klaus had to be having a second intention with the woman, something sinister and harmful no doubt.

"I came to see you, of course," Maleny responded, unbeknownst to her she'd pulled Davina out of her thoughts.

"Me?" Davina blinked, "Why?"

"Because we're friends," Maleny sighed with a smile, "Feel like I'm repeating myself a lot. Although I'm hopefully not getting this totally wrong because then that would be very awkward," Davina chuckled which genuinely relieved Maleny, "So are you okay?"

Davina looked at the two men and nodded for them to leave, she wanted them no where near her nor Maleny, "Go, now," she ordered.

Surprisingly, Klaus left with no arguments, Marcel opening his mouth to make a comeback but with Davina's glare he knew it was best to just go and please her.

Maleny watched them leave with a bit of confusion, "Suppose you're still a bit upset about being captured."

"'A bit' is an understatement," Davina rolled her eyes, leaning back on her bed's headboard.

"I'm sorry the plan didn't work," Maleny truthfully said to the girl, "Klaus eventually found me and I guess I just sort of put him in a worse mood which he took out on your friend."

"That was not your fault," Davina declared immediately, "that was all Klaus. He was prepared to kill me, you know. But I was thankfully protected, though it doesn't excuse them."

"I'm really sorry," Maleny sadly smiled at her, "Who was the friend, if you don't mind my asking."

"His name was Tim," Davina smiled to herself in genuine joy to recall her friend, "He was kind of special...and really talented. He could play violin like no other."

"Sounds ideally romantic for a date," Maleny commented with a sigh, "Were you and him...?"

"No," Davina looked down, "Things got in the way and we never actually started anything."

"I'm really sorry, Davina. I know what it's like to lose people," she instinctively took hold of her golden necklace that hung around her neck.

"You do?" Davina was blinking rather rapidly trying to see what Maleny was stroking.

Maleny nodded, gesturing to a locket she had around her neck, "I lost my mum, years ago...it's hard. This is kind of the only thing I have left of her."

Davina was surprised to realize she hadn't even noticed the locket on the woman's neck. What was stranger was the difficulty she had trying to see the necklace, "But…but she wasn't murdered…" she tried to act like nothing was wrong. Maleny didn't even realize there was something wrong with her necklace. She would've never actually shown it to Davina and Davina herself knew that.

"True, but in the end the pain is the same. Someone you love is dead and...there's nothing you can do about it."

"I'm gonna kill him," Davina declared in a mutter.

"Who?"

"Klaus of course, he's responsible for this. All this."

Maleny didn't know how to word her next sentences so as to not upset Davina even more, "Davina...we're friends, right?" Davina nodded, "Well, in the name of this new friendship, can I ask for a favor?"

"Sure," she shrugged.

"I need you to sort of...not kill Klaus," Maleny said, Davina's eyes widening, "Look, I know it's strange that I know you're a witch, that I know there's vampires here, but something is happening and I need Klaus to help me."

"What is it?" Davina eyed her, that feeling still not shaking off her with Maleny still holding her hand.

"It's...it's complicated, and confusing. But I really need him alive. Please don't kill him. I know you have the power to do so but please," Maleny took Davina's hand in hers and put her other hand over it as well, "I'm asking you not to."

"This is serious, isn't it?" Davina observed by the expression of urgency Maleny wore on her face.

Maleny nodded, "It really is. This is...practically my life."

"What if I can help you instead? Hm? Tell me what's going on and maybe we can do something together," Davina offered, "Like you said, I have the power."

"I'd rather not tell you here," Maleny whispered, knowing just how vampires and their super hearing worked. They could be listening to this entire conversation.

"Tell me something," Davina caught on and talked in a lower tone, "Something to get an idea."

Maleny bit her lip and let go of Davina's hand as she considered talking. Davina was a witch after all and she knew Klaus wouldn't be able to help with everything. Maleny took a breath, "Davina, I'm not going to lie, I have absolutely no idea what's going on with me. I'm scared, I'm really, properly scared. There are times where I dream of these people, these women, and I have no idea who they are. But...about a week ago, I started seeing this different women and..." Maleny's eyes watered up, "...she was me. But that woman, she was the real me, not the me you're seeing right now."

"What do you mean by that?" Davina raised an eyebrow, "I'm not seeing you for real? ...or...?"

"Davina this isn't my body," Maleny gestured to herself, "This isn't my hair," she tugged on her short, brown hair, "These aren't my eyes," she pointed at her brown eyes, "And did I mention that this isn't my body!?"

"Are you saying you jumped bodies?" Davina leaned back with suspicion. That could be part of the reason why she felt something weird whenever she touched hands with Maleny, "You're really not supposed to do that, you know. The original owner is tucked away in the mind and if she's anything powerful than she'll try to claim her body back."

"I know," Maleny rubbed her face with a deep sigh, "and it scares me to death. I don't know how I got into this body, nor why, but I really want to get out of it."

"I don't get this, then, why do you need Klaus' help? If anything, you really need a witch."

"Because I know this has something to do with him," Maleny lowered her hands from her face, "I have dreams of women that he knew perfectly well - and I mean like, really knew well," Davina shivered and looked away, "and then I saw myself, the real me, with him...also really knowing him.

"Aw c'mon, you can do so much better," Davina made a face at the idea.

"What ever happened to me is related with Klaus. So I need his help to figure out what's happened to me. I can't remember many things about the original me. I only have bits and pieces from the other women I dreamt about."

"Okay," Davina started to really think, "well, first thing's first, there's a perception filter placed on your necklace," she pointed to said necklace on Maleny.

"What?" Maleny quickly grabbed the locket and looked at it. It bore no picture of her true mother, but all she had knowledge of her original life was that the locket belonged to her birth mother.

"Yeah, at first I didn't really know what it was, but now that you tell about this, I'm pretty sure," Davina nodded, "Someone placed a perception filter on your necklace so no one can really tell you're wearing it unless you bring it to their attention - like you did with me."

"Why would someone do that?" Maleny scowled.

"To keep you hidden, I suppose," Davina studied Maleny curiously, "Are you human?"

"What?" Maleny blinked at the sudden question.

"Yeah, are you human?"

"Well...no, I don't think so...or...I don't know, really," Maleny scratched her head, "I'm not a vampire, I know that one for sure. Um, no wolf either..."

"Witch, then?" Davina began to smile, "Maybe you're one of us."

"I don't know, Davina," Maleny shook her head, "For right now, I just really want to get back to my body. And I have no idea what that could possibly be."

"I can help you," Davina assured, getting on her knees and nodding with determination, "You helped me when you had no idea who I was. I like you Maleny, and I'm going to help you."

Maleny smiled brightly through her watery eyes that threatened to spill her tears very soon, "Yeah? You mean that?"

Davina nodded, "Yeah, I can start by maybe-" but suddenly, she gasped deeply and seemed like she was choking. Maleny jumped out of her seat when Davina started vomiting dirt, "Oh my god! Davina!" she screamed.

At the commotion, Klaus and Marcel re-entered the room, Marcel immediately running to Davina's side, "What did you do!?" he demanded from Maleny.

"I didn't!" she shook her head frantically, "She just...she did that on her own!"

"Bloody hell is going on?" Klaus looked at the dirt on the bed.

"I didn't do anything," Maleny turned to him desperately, "I promise!"

There was no chance to say more when an earthquake, a rather big one, struck the entire building. Maleny stumbled back against the wall, watching in horror as her friend simply continued coughing up more dirt.

~ 0 ~

Later on in the day, when Davina had calmed down, Rebekah entered the room in a rather displeased manner. Maleny had been taking care of the girl, despite Davina's pleads for her to leave as something was not right and she didn't want Maleny getting caught in the middle of it. Maleny wouldn't have it and that was the end of that argument.

"I need to talk to Davina," Rebekah announced to Maleny, "A moment, please?"

Maleny looked at Davina who nodded for her to go. Maleny stood from her seat and walked out of the room, but not before grazing Rebekah's shoulder and receiving another vision.

"Rebekah, really, all you have to do is gather the fruit," the blonde woman, Maleny, huffed and put her hands on her hips.

Rebekah shook her head at the basket on the ground beside her, "I always pick out the mushy ones," she picked up the basket and held it out for Maleny, "You do it," she said with a clean smile.

"Oh, and in the meantime good ole Rebekah is going to lounge around the place, searching out for potential playmates," Maleny rolled her eyes.

"You insult me," Rebekah put a hand on her chest.

Though the two blondes looked at each other for a moment before bursting into a laughter together.

Maleny stopped in front of the railing and rubbed her temples as the pain from the vision slowly faded away.

"Something the matter, little human?" Klaus wondered from across, having been watching her the moment she'd stepped out of Davina's room.

"Again with the name," Maleny sighed.

"I was just curious of what was bothering you, seems like pain," Klaus observed the closer he got to her, "Something in your mind, perhaps?" he reached to touch her.

"No!" Maleny swatted his hand away and stepped back, "I'm fine, thank you."

"What's got you so troubled?"

"Mm, apart from the fact that I learned you murdered practically a child, my new friend vomited dirt and caused an earthquake," Maleny reminded, "Yes, perhaps it's the change of climate that's got me troubled."

"I could make you forget," Klaus reminded as if it were a threat for her.

"Like you did with Cami," Maleny crossed her arms, "Don't you even dare to do that with me, got it?" she warned, pointed at him, "I've got a lot of things I need to remember."

'Like what?" he took her finger and used it to take her.

Maleny let out a small gasp as she saw something more, but this time it wasn't just her that saw it...

"Ouch, it really hurts," Maleny, as blonde, limped as she walked through the forest.

Klaus was beside her with an arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders as he helped her walk through, "You ought to be less of a klutz you know."

"Oh, that's polite," Maleny hit him on the chest, "Have you no manners?"

"No, I think Elijah took all that."

"Doesn't work that way, I'm afraid," Maleny sighed, "My father is going to be so upset when he sees me. He'll yell at me and tell me it was all my fault, which it probably was."

"It was not your fault, Maleny. He'll have to understand that," Klaus said, though neither he nor Maleny believed that one bit.

"Mine will when yours will," Maleny said instead.

"When my father sees you he'll surely blame me and then proceed to say how one of my other siblings should have accompanied you instead," Klaus rolled his eyes in a 'discreet' way, "Perhaps like Elijah."

"This would have happened whether it was you, Elijah or even Finn for that matter. You're right," Maleny chuckled, "I'm a terrible klutz who can't walk two inches without tripping."

"Be sure to say that when you explain that to the others, yeah?"

Maleny glanced at him with a soft smile, "Don't let go until we get home?" she countered, consciously knowing he'd been holding her a bit closer.

"I think that sounds fair," he pretended to think about it, making her chuckle.

Klaus let go of Maleny's hand and stepped back, both horrified and confused of what he'd just seen, "How did you...how did you see that?" he demanded.

For the first time, Maleny felt frightened of the man that stood before her, "I...I don't know," she turned and tried hurrying off.

"Oh no you don't, love, you're staying here," Klaus yanked her back by the arm, "It seems we have a lot to talk about."

"I don't know what's going, I promise," Maleny insisted, shaking her hands.

"Those were my memories and there is no way a simple human could see that unless I granted them permission," he sneered, "And I most certainly did not give you permission."

"Klaus, I don't know what's going on..." Maleny looked down, her tears streaming down her face, "...this is what I needed help on."

"How do you know her?" he demanded, though his voice had lowered down to that of a mere whisper. It appeared no matter how long it had been he was still not quite over her disappearance.

"I'm really sorry," Maleny yanked herself out of his grasp and rushed away, deciding it was best to leave the compound for the moment.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Rebekah came out of Davina's room, only half-hearing the conversation that had occurred.

"We need to talk," Klaus declared with a grim face. He could later, and would, find Maleny and discuss the matters they'd seen together.

~ 0 ~

The Mikaelson siblings were gathered in the living room, a very displeased and secretly frightened Klaus pacing back and forth, describing what exactly had happened with Maleny earlier.

"And you saw my old best friend suddenly?" Rebekah raised an eyebrow, leaning back on her spot on the couch. She wasn't taking his brother's words seriously, to be honest.

"Yes!" Klaus nearly shouted.

Rebekah and Elijah glanced at each other, not sure on how to act upon the situation.

"You saw Maleny Rowan?" Elijah questioned for confirmation, "As in the village girl our family was so fond of back in our days before we were vampires?"

"The very same one," Klaus sighed with frustration at the lack of attention his siblings seemed to pay, "It was my memory."

"And what? Maleny stole it?" Rebekah rolled her eyes, "Look, so you meet a girl with the same name and you start thinking about your lost love, big deal. I hardly see the concern here," she stood up and sighed, "If you ask me it's more of your guilt finally catching up to you."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Klaus raised an eyebrow.

Rebekah looked back at Elijah but the man simply raised his hands and let her remind their brother of the story, "Fine," Rebekah muttered and stared directly at Klaus, "We all know that Maleny Rowan disappeared a while after we became vampires. The funny thing was that there was never any body found," she stepped closer to Klaus with narrowed eyes, "Nothing was recovered, there were no animals nearby, certainly no wolves, nothing that could show it had been some animal attack."

"And what are you trying to say, hm?" Klaus took a step forwards, both siblings confronting each other with dark glares.

"Maleny Rowan was like a sister to me, the woman you once loved as a human and vampire. Don't act like you had nothing to do with that."

"I didn't!"

"Just admit it," Rebekah scoffed, "Anything that loves you ends up hurt and/or dead. That's exactly what happened to Maleny Rowan, wasn't it? It's the story that repeats itself with any other woman."

"No, I don't know what happened to her," Klaus snapped, "She just disappeared and it had nothing to do with me."

"Mhm, right," Rebekah looked him over with disbelief, "Well you know what, that's always been a mystery to me and everyone else, so I'm gonna go ahead and discover what happened to her. And when I confirm that you killed her...well, it'll be a fairly interesting battle between us, you'll see," Rebekah turned on her heels and walked out of the room.

"That went exceptionally well," Elijah sighed.

"Oh go ahead and blame me for the girl's death as well," Klaus threw his hands in the air and headed for the small bar counter across.

"I do not blame you, brother. I can tell your honesty just by remembering the grief you wore on the day Maleny disappeared," Elijah stood up, "It's the same face you're wearing right now. It can't be faked."

Klaus had grabbed a glass and started pouring himself a drink, "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"There is no shame in mourning a lost loved one," Elijah joined him at the counter, "Maleny was a very sweet girl, she truthfully had the hearts of everyone in our family, including father's and we all know how difficult it was to please him."

"Maleny had the quality we all seemed to lack," Klaus said before drinking down his entire glass.

Elijah smiled, letting a small laugh escape from him, "I always wondered what it was, did you ever figure it out?"

"No, I didn't want to. But, if you don't mind, I'd like to know why a human has knowledge of my memories," Klaus set his glass down with a thud, "And I think I shall go do that right now."

"Brother wait," Elijah said before Klaus even stood, "I know your tendencies are...well, for lack of a better word, rude, so perhaps you should try a new approach?"

Klaus remembered Maleny's words from last night, recalling her plead of help, and nodded, "I think you may be right," he smirked, heading for the doors.

"What exactly are you going to do?" Elijah called.

"Be the good person and say, 'of course I'll help'," Klaus mocked a sweet person's tone, "What I always do. In the meantime, go talk to a witch about Davina, no? Get some errands done."

Elijah nodded, and motioned for him to go on. Klaus gave a small salute and headed out to find the human with his memories.

~ 0 ~

Maleny walked down the streets with Kieran beside her, the man adamant that she take her belongings and leave the city, and if possible with Cami as well. He had taken Cami's words from last night and listened, both of them were in danger if they stuck around. He'd already lost one nephew, he would not lose Cami and Maleny, a girl who was almost like a niece as well.

"I'm not going anywhere and that's that," Maleny muttered, her arms crossed.

"But why not? Weren't you looking into universities back in England?" Kieran reminded, "What are you going to do if you stay here?"

"I can try to enroll here where Cami goes."

"Maleny, please listen to me," Kieran stopped walking and turned to her, "Please, go away."

"I can't, I really can't," Maleny shook her head, swallowing hard, "There are things that I need to fix and I can't leave without doing so."

"What things? Tell me and I can fix them for you!"

"Doesn't work like that," Maleny continued walking, "I'm staying and that is final."

"Smart choice, love," Klaus came from around the corner, bumping into the woman, "because we need to talk."

Maleny's breath hitched as she stepped away. She knew what occurred back at the compound wasn't over but she didn't expect Klaus to appear so early, "What do you want?"

"Question is what do you want?" he countered.

"You're...you're helping me, now?"

"Show me your proof, proof of whatever is going wrong and perhaps I'll help."

"Maleny," Kieran moved over to them again, "I'd rather you stay away from this-"

"Not happening," Maleny cut him off, her eyes locked on Klaus, "If you're going to help me then fine, I'll be around later and give you everything I have," she looked at Kieran with a nod, "I'll be at Cami's if you need me."

"Actually," Kieran began but the woman had already started walking away, "I'd rather you start packing!"

"Oh give it a rest," Klaus shook her head, "She's not going anywhere."

"She is going to get herself killed like Cami!" Kieran argued.

"Who exactly is 'Maleny' to you and Cami?"

"Maleny was adopted by my sister and her husband in England."

"Adopted niece, got it," Klaus nodded, motioning with a hand for Kieran to continue. He needed to know all he could find out about Maleny, no matter how small.

Kieran sighed, "Maleny was about six when she met Cami and Sean, all three became like best friends. So you will understand that I will defend Maleny like Cami, blood or not, she is family to me."

"You'll be relieved to know I have no intention of harming the woman," Klaus waved him off, truthfully meaning that for the moment, "Now on to other business, we need to talk about some...chaos," he couldn't find another word to describe the oncoming dilemmas the city would be enduring.

"How do you mean?"

"Davina's basically on a self-destruct sequence. The Harvest, being incomplete, has finally taken a toll on the girl."

"What?" Kieran frowned.

"I got the phone call," Klaus mimicked a phone with his hand, "It was Elijah who spoke to Sophie. Davina can't last with all that power she took from the other Harvest Girls and so she's starting a very deadly cycle here. According to Sophie, as Davina self-destructs, she'll cycle through four stages that represent the four elements that bound together the Harvest."

"The earthquake?" Kieran blinked as he just now realized.

"Yes. Earth stage comes first. Then comes wind, and since each stage is more intense than the last, let's just say you'll blow the roof off this place. Then after the wind is water. Rain, flood..."

"How bad?"

"Quite bad, actually, but that's not the worst of it. The last stage is fire, and since it's the last it will be by far the worst. But, I didn't take over this town to watch it burn to the ground."

"You can stop this, right?"

"Yes, but you're not gonna like how."

Kieran closed his eyes, knowing exactly what needed to be done, "They need to complete the Harvest, don't they?"

"Exactly," Klaus nodded, not too happy himself about it. Finishing the Harvest meant the witches received more power.

~ 0 ~

Maleny was running about in her room of Cami's house when there came a knock. She knew it couldn't be Cami as she was out of the city for the day. She ran out of the room and opened the door to find Rebekah on the other side, "What are you doing here?"

"Yeah, probably not the person you expected, am I right?" Rebekah stuffed her hands inside her coat's pockets, acting so casually despite all the chaos that was happening outside.

"I don't...I don't understand," Maleny leaned out to check for anyone else, "Is Klaus sending you to make sure I don't run or something?"

Rebekah scoffed, "I'm no babysitter. I came to talk. Can I come in?"

"As the rules go I don't own the house, Cami does and she's not home," Maleny crossed her arms, her eyes suspiciously narrowing down, "What do you want to talk about with me?"

"Quite a lot, beginning with that vision you had about my brother and an old friend of mine. Ring a bell?" Rebekah noticed how Maleny seemed to tense at the mention, "I take that as a 'yes'."

"Look, your brother finally agreed to take a look into my issue. And when he and I have spoken, I'll be more than glad to explain it to you."

"You seem very nice," Rebekah began, "And let me tell you that 'nice' is going to get you killed in this city. But that's apart from everything else. Right now, my brother sees you as something interesting, something of an asset, do you understand?"

Maleny crossed her arms, "Like a toy, yes, I get it."

"So the moment my brother sees you as a useless asset he will kill you."

"He won't," Maleny said, surprising Rebekah with the assurance the brunette woman had in her tone.

"You don't realize it, but if he agrees to help you it'll be because he's interested in what you can offer to his 'kingdom' and power," Rebekah insisted.

"Why are you telling me all this?" Maleny asked, it was really no surprise Klaus would see her like that. She did manage to recall some of his behavior with power and it was never good.

"Because, if you are going to sell yourself as an asset then you might as well join the right team," Rebekah smirked.

Maleny raised an eyebrow, "I'm not selling myself as an asset," she frowned, "…what kind of team?"

Rebekah smiled, "The one that takes the entire city of New Orleans."

"I don't want the city," Maleny declared whilst making a face, "That is probably the last thing on my mind, believe me. And, anyways, why would I join this team? I'm trying to get on your brother's good side and I'm pretty sure the moment he finds out that I joined his sister's little conspiracy team I will be dead."

"I thought you said he wouldn't kill you," Rebekah tilted her head with a cheeky smile.

"If there is one thing your brother despises is treachery," Maleny remained firm, "and I will not make that mistake."

"How would you know that, though?" Rebekah raised an eyebrow, now even more intrigued, "You just met him."

"I know a lot more than you think," Maleny informed seriously.

"Then for that same reason you should consider my offer," Rebekah shrugged, "I'll help you in what ever you need or want, and in return I ask for your help to take what's rightfully mine. This city was not constructed just by Klaus, nor him and Elijah. I helped too and I deserve to get a share, most importantly I deserve to be happy."

"And you think by taking the city you'll be happy?" Maleny crossed her arms, "I can tell you I accept your offer and we can take the city, but I can tell you right now that even if you did that…you still wouldn't be happy. Ever heard of 'money and power isn't everything?'"

"I'm leaving you to think about this," Rebekah warned, careful not to let teary eyes slip up her authoritative appearance, "And I implore you to consider my offer. Unlike Klaus I will not double-cross you and I would never harm you."

Maleny sighed, "Was this all?"

"No. I also came on behalf of Davina."

"H-how is she?"

"She's...sedated," Rebekah finished slowly, Maleny's eyes widening with horror, "She's basically dying and if we don't do something then she'll take the whole city, if not the world."

"Why are you telling me this? What can I do?"

"She was asking for you," Rebekah shrugged, "Figured it'd do her good to see you there when she woke up...when she wakes up," she winced, "I sort of sedated her a bit too much."

"Look, I will be there as soon as I get some things I need," Maleny promised, "Tell her I promise I'll come quick."

Rebekah nodded, "Alright, do be careful though. There's a flood to come."

"I will."

"And think about my offer, please."

Maleny gave a slight nod and closed the door on the Original. She turned and leaned against the door, taking a deep breath. Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control, and her only hope of true help was currently dying.

~ 0 ~

After discovering that Davina had been stolen by Marcel, Rebekah and Klaus had set out to find her in the meantime Elijah looked over the consecration of the witch Celeste to begin the Harvest. Unfortunately, things were not going as well as Sophie had figured out that Celeste's bones had no magic in them.

They would need another powerful witch.

And what other powerful witch than Esther Mikaelson?

And that was how Esther was consecrated into New Orleans land, thus concluding the preparation for the Harvest and allowing Sophie to conduct it herself. In the meantime, Rebekah had managed to find Davina and Marcel somewhere near the docks. It had taken a lot to get them both into the city, though Marcel agreed when Davina agreed and Davina agreed only when Rebekah agreed to a certain desire.

"Why am I here?" Maleny hissed at Rebekah as the two walked underneath an umbrella in the cemetery. It was pouring rain and she was shivering under her thin coat.

Maleny had been surprised to find Rebekah once more at the doorstep of Cami's house and was even more shocked to find that she was needed at the cemetery on a request of Davina. Rebekah had withheld the information on the reason why Davina was at the cemetery until it was absolutely necessary. The two, along with Klaus, Elijah and Hayley, walked down the cemetery, trying their best to ignore the foul climate.

"Because Davina wanted you here," Rebekah hissed right back, "Now shush."

"Don't you shush me," Maleny snapped, although all conversation was lost when she saw three girls, that were quite dead, laid down in a row on the ground.

Sophie Deveraux stood beside them with the ceremonial athame over the flames, awaiting the needed girl. Maleny looked in horror, not sure of whether to run or help the girls...well, they were dead how could she help them?

"What is going on here?" Maleny whispered, glancing at the others for help.

Rebekah sighed and whispered into Maleny's ear what exactly was about to happen. Upon hearing the explanation, Maleny's eyes widened in terror. She didn't have the chance to say anything on it when a fire sprouted near the entrance, startling the whole group.

"Fire," Sophia breathed.

A couple seconds later, Marcel arrived at the site holding Davina, more fire following him with each step he took. Once at the altar, Marcel set Davina down. She looked past Sophie to see Maleny standing with teary eyes, "I'm going to help you when this is over," she promised.

Sophia took the athame and moved to stand in front of Davina, "Do you believe in the harvest?"

Davina took a breath and nodded nervously, "I believe."

Sophia raised the blade up and slit Davina's throat, the girl falling back with a stumble as the blood oozed down her neck. Marcel caught her before she fell and laid her on the ground along with the rest of the girls, everyone noticing how her skin glowed gold as the magic left her body and flowed back into the earth was was planned. The pouring rain had come to a stop and the sky was cleared once more.

"After the Harvest comes the Reaping. Their sacrifices made and accepted. We call upon our Elders to resurrect the chosen ones," Sophia said and awaited for the resurrection to begin. When nothing happens, everyone looked at each other with growing nervousness, "We call upon our Elders to resurrect the chosen ones..." Sophie tried again but nothing happened, making her come closer to tears, "Resurrect your chosen ones..."

Nothing.

"Please?" Sophie choked out, "I beg..." but nothing happened.

Something had gone wrong.

Sophie dropped to her knees and started crying, knowing she had failed her sister and niece. Maleny blinked with tears in her eyes, looking at Rebekah, "You went with this plan?" she whisper-shouted, "This is...awful."

Marcel looked at everyone with a glare, but none harder than Klaus, before he sped off. Not a few seconds later did Klaus speed away to follow. Maleny shook her head and moved closer to the girls, her tears streaming down her face, "Oh Davina..."

It didn't even matter that her hope for a witch's help had disappeared. Her friend had just died. A sweet, innocent girl had died on account of a crazy witch myth or whatever it was. She actually had to stop and wonder if she truly wanted to find out what was going on with her life, why she kept having those visions and why she wasn't in her own body.. Would it mean she'd enter this kind of world of utter chaos where the innocent died? Was it worth it?

~ 0 ~

Klaus and Rebekah sat back in the study of the compound, having a drink after everything that happened...it was necessary.

"This whole thing was doomed from the start, you know?" Klaus leaned back on his spot, "Yes, we saved the city, and I'm not complaining about the witches losing their power, but this did not go down the way I thought it would. You surprised me, though. You were quite resourceful today. How did you find them down at the docks?"

Rebekah flashed a smirk, "You're not the only one with clever little spies in the quarter, Nik."

"Sometimes I think I don't give you your due, little sister."

"I knew Elijah's plan was mad, but I really thought it would work," Rebekah sighed.

"So did I. I was sure Davina would survive. There was so much life in her."

"What about the power?" Rebekah raised an eyebrow, "Four were supposed to rise, and none did. Where did all that power go?"

Klaus considered her words with actual thought, a bit surprised he hadn't thought of that sooner. Rebekah was right, the Harvest had worked with the power. It flowed back into the earth and then...it had just vanished? Power like that couldn't just disappear.

His thoughts were cut short when a familiar scent filled the room, "Well I have to admit you coming back is an actual surprise," he glanced over to Maleny.

The woman had changed into pure black clothes, her hair tied into a low-ponytail. She stood at the doorway with a shoulder bag, "I brought proof," she announced in a low-volume voice.

Rebekah raised an eyebrow, "Proof? Of what?"

Klaus ignored her as he stood up, setting his drink on the table and walking up to Maleny, "Well, let's talk shall we?" he gestured for her to walk out first.

Without a word, Maleny turned and walked. Rebekah stared after them with growing curiosity but decided to stay back for once. Too much had already happened today, she needed a simple break.

~ 0 ~

Maleny looked around at all the paintings that surrounded the new room she found herself in, Klaus's room. She took several steps around as she took some in, "You did these?"

"Don't believe it?" Klaus put his hands behind his back, standing beside a table where he expected to see such evidence Maleny said she'd brought.

"They're so...grim," Maleny made a face as she turned to face him, "Why?"

"Art critique?"

"Simple curiosity," Maleny corrected before sighing, "I'm into art as well but...I like the lively ones, not the ones that make me think of death," she moved over to the table and set her bag on it, "But I'm not here to talk about art, I'm here because I need help."

"And what exactly do you need help with?" he raised an eyebrow.

Maleny took a small breath as she spread out several yellow folders in a row on the table, one paper faced down at the end, "I don't know whats going on nor why it's going on," she began, "But I believe that I am having dreams of women that are dead, simple women with no special pattern...except..." her eyes looked up at Klaus, "...except they all knew one person."

Klaus gave her an odd look before going ahead and opening up the folders, leaving the paper faced down. He blinked incredulously at the pictures and descriptions he read from each file, "What the hell is this?" he demanded.

"I have no idea," Maleny sighed, "But I keep dreaming, or having visions, whatever you want to call it, about these women. This is a recent," she pointed to the folder nearest to them, "Maya Sterling," she tapped the picture of the woman, "From what I saw she was American, lived in the 20th century of New Orleans...then died in a fire, apparently. There's one not too far apart after her, but I haven't gotten all the details. Her name was Khalinda Ayama and she lived in New York, late 20's."

As Klaus took a look at Maya's file, Maleny moved around him to the other end of the table where she'd placed the paper faced down. She picked it up and held it to her chest, recalling her last vision she had only about an hour ago, the one that made her decide to come and ask for Klaus's help. She needed to do this, she needed to.

"And then I had visions about her," she turned to Klaus with the paper now facing him, bearing the picture, or a small painted description, of a blonde woman with blue eyes.

"Maleny..." Klaus whispered and took the paper from her, "...not you," he clarified a minute later, "This was...how did you even get these?"

Maleny swallowed, "I keep seeing them, Klaus, all of them. And there is nothing special about them, only one thing in common...and we both know what that is."

"It's all the women I've ever had affection for," he nodded and set the paper down.

"No, it's the women you grew to love," Maleny snapped, "Don't degrade them in front of me. Please..." she shook her head, sighing deeply, "...there's something you need to know, apart from all this," she swallowed and took a small pause, "...Klaus, that picture you were holding, of the 'other Maleny', um...I sort of am that Maleny," and she tried really hard not to shake under Klaus's glare, "You have to believe me, alright? This body you see is not mine. That one's mine," she pointed at the picture, "I am Maleny, but this is not my body."

"Impossible," Klaus declared without a second thought. The woman had to be lying. There was no way his Maleny could ever stand in today's world, alive.

"You think I'm lying, of course," Maleny sighed, "Why wouldn't you? I should be dead, right? But I'm really not. I'm here," she gestured to herself, "Someone put me in this body."

"You are not Maleny," Klaus declared, nearly warning her to say otherwise.

"I am, even if I can't remember most of that life," Maleny stepped closer to him, "And I'll prove it," she took his hands and placed them on her temples, forcing him to look into her mind, "Look," she closed her eyes and took a breath, showing him her vision, the reason why she stood there at the moment.

"Come back wretched girl!" a middle-aged man yelled as he ran with all his speed, through the forest.

A young blonde woman was running ahead of him, away from him. She grabbed the sides of her dress in an effort to increase her speed. Her long, blonde hair bounced wildly as she made several turns here and there, anything to escape the booming roars of the man.

"I will teach you to respect your father!"

"No!" she cried, tripping on a branch and landing on her knees on the ground. She heard the distance sounds of mens' voices and glanced to the side, seeing two very familiar figures not that far from her. She sighed, even though she was in great possible danger, she felt her heart warm at the sight of one of them, "Klaus..." she whispered with a smile.

"Maleny!" her father neared, making her snap out of her short trance.

She yelped, reality snapping back, and she quickly scrambled to get up, "No!"

And she continued on her way, not noticing the two Mikaelson brothers looking in the direction she was in, barely catching her figure run off...followed by the furious father.

"Maleny!" he screamed.

When Maleny opened her eyes tears strolled down her face, "I was confused whether or not to come here and ask for your help. But do you see it? For some time I wasn't sure how I was feeling. I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what. And then I saw this vision. I remembered. This is not my body. I am that girl in the forest but I don't know how I got here. There is an entire life-story in my head that belongs to this body, and it's not mine. You have to help me. In the name of what you once felt for the girl in the forest, help me."

Klaus simply stared at her with a blank expression, there were no words to describe how he felt after seeing what he'd seen. He remembered those days before he'd actually met Maleny Rowan. Her father had been just as terrible and cruel as his own was, the only difference being that Maleny Rowan was truly alone. She had no one but her father. He remembered the stories she'd told him after they'd met and...'courted', or what ever it'd be called in those times. He truly did come to love her, as a human and vampire, he could not ignore that as much as he tried. If there was even a chance to save the true Maleny, he would do it.

For Maleny Rowan, he'd do it.

"You've piqued my interest," he declared, trying to act as unattached to the case as possible, "We have a lot of work to do, Maleny Woods."

Maleny nodded, looking down as she took a breath, "Thank you," she whispered with so much relief.

Perhaps...this was the beginning of her peace as well.

[complcatedfreak]

two-thirds match

in which peter and y/n don’t know who their soulmates are and y/n begins to make friends. part two to i don’t know.

A/N: this is a soulmate au series, which will contain both endgame and infinity war spoilers. however, this part is spoiler free.

The rest of the day flew by in Y/N’s mind. It was as if running into Peter and his friend completely changed her mood, allowing her to relax and fall into the normal student life at Midtown. Peter was also in her math and chemistry class, and both him and his friend smiled and waved at her when she walked in. There was a girl sitting with Peter in math, but Y/N tried not to think about it too much. In fact, Y/N was in such a good mood when she walked out of school that she flashed her mom the biggest, most genuine smile she could muster. “What’s got you in such a good mood?” Y/N’s mom asked when she climbed into the car. “I just had a really good day.”

Peter kept noticing the new girl around school. He never found out what her name was, but he definitely knew her face. Peter couldn’t put into words how excited he was when she walked into not one, but two of his classes! But, when the end of the day rolled around, he couldn’t focus on her, he had to go be the friendly neighborhood Spider-man that the city knew. After the last bell rang, Peter got to his locker and then ran to a nearby alley. He threw his bookbag to the side, went to rip his hoodie off, excited to get out into the city. He truly loved patrolling, being spider-man, his city, the whole shebang.

“So, what homework do you have?” Y/N’s mom asked her, as they sat down for dinner. “Mainly just like paper work and stuff like that, some of it’s for you.” As the family sat down for dinner, conversation flowed. Everyone seemed genuinely happy, a rare occurrence in the household. Maybe this move would be good for them. Dinner went by fast. As Y/N and her siblings were cleaning up, she made her way to the sink. She was on dishes duty tonight. Quickly, she pulled the sleeves of her sweatshirt up and grabbed the first dish. Time was seeming to speed as she did the dishes, she was done quickly. When she was done, her jaw dropped, “MOM!”

“You what?” Happy asked, only just now becoming interested in his fifteen-minute-long conversation with Peter. “I noticed a line!” Peter excitedly cheered, happy to be able to tell his story about noticing his soulmate mark, as well as grateful that Happy was actually listening to him. “You gotta be careful with that, kid. It could be dangerous, you know, with your job and all.” Peter hadn’t even considered that he could be putting his soulmate in danger. That’s the exact opposite of what he’d ever want to do. It’s freaking soulmate, for crying out loud. “I’ll be safe, Happy. Have a good night.” Peter said, hanging up the phone. Not only was he not 100% positive who his soulmate was, now he also had a seed of fear implanted in his brain. With sigh, Peter kicked a pebble to the side of the roof and started his journey home.

“Who did you meet today?” Y/N’s mom excitedly asked, rubbing her finger over her daughter’s wrist. “I met a lot of people, mom! Like ten of them had names that start with P!” With a furrow in her eyebrows, Y/N’s mom started to ask about middle and last names. Y/N nodded along, but had tuned out to think about who she met all day. Penelope in her second period class, with the cute, yellow headband, or Preston in her third period class, who offered her cookies even though lunch was next period. There was also Peter, who accidentally approached her with an attitude. And so many more people between and after them. Y/N let her head drop to the table while releasing a groan. This is going to be impossible.

Peter didn’t tell Aunt May about the line. The small seed of fear that had been planted into Peter’s brain had sprouted into a full-blown break down. May had just recently discovered he was Spider-man, so she was probably in danger, just as his soulmate would be. Peter couldn’t let anything happen to the two most important people in his life, even if it means he wouldn’t ever know who one of them is. So, Peter powered through a semi-awkward dinner with Aunt May, then went to wallow in the safety of his bedroom. He laid on the floor, tossing a ball up to the ceiling, catching it as it fell back down to him. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for himself. Peter felt like he had to pick between being Spider-man and his soulmate, and it was the worst feeling ever. He was weighing options; trying to have a way to have both be involved in his life, but he wasn’t sure if it was possible. Along with Happy’s words, Tony’s were ringing in his head. If you’re nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it. Peter was something without this suit; he was a best friend, a student, a son, and, apparently a soulmate. But that didn’t make him a good one. That didn’t mean he wasn’t putting everyone around him in danger. Peter was pulled out of his head when the ball came down next to his head. Damn, he thought, I can’t even catch a ball.

When Y/N woke up the next morning, she couldn’t tell if she was scared or excited. She had butterflies in her tummy, and her hands were a little shaky. She almost dropped the bottle of juice she was pouring this morning. Her heartbeat sped up the closer she got to Midtown. Maybe today would be the day. When she walked into her homeroom, she made sure to take careful note of everyone who was called. Two people had names that start with P; Penelope, who Y/N had met yesterday, and Patrick, but his last name is Boulder, which doesn’t start with a ‘P’ (he was absent, the teacher called his full name). Y/N really needed to learn Penelope’s middle or last name, even though she did doubt her soulmate was Penelope. She was cool, just not, how do you say, soulmate material. This is how the entire day went; figuring out who everyone was. Shockingly, not that many people had names that started with ‘P’, and even less had last names that started with a ‘P’. Finding her soulmate shouldn’t be that hard, just if she knew last names. By the time she got to lunch, Y/N had a note full of names on her phone. There were dashes for last and middle names that she didn’t know yet.

“Ned! I don’t know!” Peter whisper-shouted to Ned, after he asked about who Peter’s soulmate was for the fifteenth time that day. “It has to be the new girl, right? She’s the only person you met yesterday.” Ned concluded as he slid his tray down the metal bars connected to the lunch-servers. “I met a lot of people yester-“ “Oh yeah, the whole ‘internship’ thing,” Ned cut Peter off, realizing how many people Peter meets in a day, “This might be hard.” Peter wanted to reply with a sarcastic ‘no shit’, but got distracted as the new girl walked by, heading outside to eat. Both Peter and Ned’s eyes followed her, before she walked up to MJ. She was going to sit with them. She was going to sit with them! Peter smiled as he walked to the table, but tried to cover it up when he stepped outside. It didn’t work.

“So, Peter, Ned and MJ, got it.” Y/N declared, trying to figure out when it would be appropriate to ask for their middle and last names, Peter’s specifically. “And you are?” Ned asked, kind of shaking his head. “Oh! I’m Y/N” She said with a warm smile. Peter choked on his food for a minute, then cleared his throat. Y/N pretended not to notice his actions, and ignored Ned’s wide-eyes. After a few seconds of awkward silence, conversation seemed to flow between the four of them. They even ended up exchanging phone numbers and creating a groupchat. They played Crazy 8 for the rest of the lunch period. Then, they all said goodbyes. Each separated for the a few periods, before joining up again, and then heading home. By the time she got home, Y/N had 80 missed messages from them. Without reading them all, Y/N tried to catch up.

Peter: I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING Ned: YOU DROPPED IT MJ: youre a dumbass, parker Ned named the groupchat “Peter “i drop chemicals because i cant do math” Parker” MJ: haha nice

Y/N gasped. His name is Peter Parker! That’s a two-thirds match!

[ariadnelives]

Chapter 25 -- The New Addition

[Missed earlier chapters? Go catch up here! Otherwise, welcome back! Oh, and make sure to join our discord server! Chapter can also be found @ ao3”]

“You didn’t have to space them,” Sweettalk said, seemingly to the ceiling as the recovery crew lurched the disabled ship back to Ship Trap.

“They were going to die either way,” said Ghostrunner’s voice from a speaker on the wall, “I heard them planning it. The boys in the engine room said they were all prepared to blow the ship to hell and kill everyone onboard rather than let us figure find our way to Dr. Simon. I actually minimized casualties by flushing them out the airlock.”

“Where are you, anyway?” Sweettalk called up to the ceiling. “Are you in the engine room?”

“I am everywhere,” Ghostrunner’s voice called back, “I am one with the ship.”

“That joke is getting old,” Sweettalk yelled, “You’re gonna have to come out of there eventually!!”

“Go easy on her,” Pilar laughed, “she saved our lives and now I don’t have to feel guilty about having the highest body count on the crew.”

“And thanks for being so gentle, by the way,” Sweettalk shouted.

“You were handcuffed to the table and I managed to seal off the passage before Spacebreather got flushed into space again. You were never in any danger.”

“How do we even still have any air to breathe?” Sweettalk called up.

“Found an emergency tank of air in the panic room. It has enough fresh air to fill the sealed panic room for a year, but if you open the door, it can fill the entire ship for about two hours.”

“Oh joy,” Sweettalk said

“More than enough for the 15 minutes until we’re hooked up to Ship Trap,” Spacebreather mumbled. “I bet we don’t even blow this place up, Ariadne’s just gonna weld it right to the hull and turn it into more quarters.”

“About time we put on a new addition!” Sweettalk shrugged.

“Hey, so, uh, while we have a minute… I want you to know…” Pilar said quietly, “you’re… good enough for Sasha. And I was proud to fight by your side today.”

“I’m sure that was hard for you to say, so I won’t make you repeat it,” Sweettalk said, smiling, “except when you tell Sasha, and I will be recording that.”

“Fantastic,” Pilar said sarcastically.

“I have a proposal, though,” Sweettalk said. “We have less than fifteen minutes left before we get back to base. We should spend it talking about something that’s not work-related. I feel like we could make Sasha really happy if she found out we’d bonded right after we scared the bajesus out of her.”

Pilar said nothing.

“If you don’t want to—”

“Do you like Val Deimos?” Pilar asked, “It’s my favorite show.”

Sweettalk grinned. “I sure do.”

A little under 15 minutes later, the recovery crew managed to bring the ship into the Docking Bay, and Pilar and Sweettalk were able to safely disembark.

Within a second of leaving the ship, they heard a loud “Zee!” and Sweettalk started running towards Sasha, embraced her, lifted her off the ground, and began a long, very passionate kiss.

“Hola, querida,” Pilar said to Ariadne, and gave her a short but affectionate kiss. “Good timing with the loudspeaker, really drove home a point”

Ariadne said, “I mean, that sister of yours is some kind of psychopharmacological genius. While I was trying to break into their systems, she was doing live maintenance, jabbing me with all sorts of needles and hypo-sprays to keep my hands steady and stave off the panic attacks, so really, you should be thanking her.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that,” Pilar said, “as soon as she’s done having her face eaten. My god, she’ll have to come up for air at some point, yeah?”

“Oh, hush,” Ariadne said. “You remember being that age.”

“You were that age three years ago,” Pilar reminded her. “I miss when they were hiding it from me.”

“Come on,” Ariadne elbowed her in the arm. “This is at least a little bit cute.”

“You come on,” Pilar said, “They might be here a while, let’s get onboard that ship and get the coordinates we need.”

“So,” Pilar asked as Ariadne once again plugged into the relay, “how are the girls adjusting?”

“Better than the first ViLaz did, that’s for sure,” Ariadne said.

“Well, they didn’t get set on fire,” Pilar said, “and they’ve got her to help them through it.”

“Fastwing is counselling them now. It’s all been a bit of a shock to them, I mean, their upbringing is so much more messed up than we knew. None of them knew about the others, and the cultists went to great lengths to make sure they had exactly the same nature and nurture. I mean, down to the minute, they made sure those girls had exactly the same experiences, and when they took just one of them out, the implants recorded any memories they made and plant them in the others’ heads. These girls have absolutely no sense of individual identity, if you ask them a question, they all respond in unison, even though they’re not linked anymore.”

“Spooky. Maybe they should spend some time apart, really come into themselves.”

“I don’t think so,” Ariadne said. “I mean, these girls are basically sisters, closer even, they’ve got all the same memories, and this is the first time they’ve ever even met.”

“What’ve we been calling them?” Pilar asked, “I mean, the first one was pretty set on getting rid of ‘ViLaz’ anyway, and I bet the other two will be too when they find out what it means.”

“We’ve been calling them The Triplets, for now,” Ariadne replied, wiping sweat from her brow as she tapped away at her small screen.

“And how do we distinguish between them?”

“We don’t,” Ariadne said. “Maybe that’ll change eventually, but for the time being, they don’t seem to have any interest in being treated as separate people.”

“That’s… weird.”

“Well, then, they’ve come to the right place.”

“You know that’s right,” Pilar laughed, “I’m sure Sasha will come up with something anyway.”

“What’s really weird is,” Ariadne said, “I noticed something about the first Triplet before the raid.”

“What’s that?” Pilar asked.

“She was crying out of both of her eyes,” Ariadne said, “the artificial one too. She shouldn’t be able to do that.”

“Maybe you’re a better cyberneticist than you gave yourself credit for.”

“Or maybe,” Ariadne explained, “I mean, I build some pretty great bionic elements, Sasha uses her serum, the girl’s got advanced genetic engineering… who knows what’s causing it, but I think her body is actually integrating with the cybernetic elements.”

“That’s some crazy science-fiction talk,” Pilar said.

“Well, what isn’t, these days?” Ariadne joked. “Nonetheless, when Sweettalk is done trying to suffocate your sister with her mouth—”

“—Well don’t keep saying it.”

“—we should have Sasha check her out. Meantime…” Ariadne twisted something on the side of the machine and a bright spark flashed somewhere inside of it, “ …I’ve got the coordinates. This asshole is holed up in an underground bunker on Phobos.”

“So we find him, take him out, and reclaim our legend?”

“And more importantly, keep those girls safe. Those cultists are going to keep on coming back for them unless we make sure they can never turn them into viable hosts for their decrepit founder.”

Pilar smiled.

“What?” Ariadne asked.

Pilar attempted to suppress her accent and do a rough impression of Ariadne’s voice: ““Mátala. I want her head.”

“Oh, that was before,” Ariadne said, walking with Pilar towards the ship’s exit, “Now, I want her dad’s head.”

“Ah,” Pilar grinned, “Mátalo, then.”

As they left the ship, they found Sweettalk and Sasha still locked in an embrace, now whispering some incredibly sugary things to one another.

“My god,” Pilar said as they walked past. “Are we just an old married couple?”

“Pretty sure we always have been.”

***

The triplets sat patiently in the infirmary.

“Sweettalk and Deathsbane,” ViLaz said to her sisters while they waited for Sasha to arrive, “we’re friends with them.”

“These girls took me from my home,” both sisters said together in reply.

“That was no home,” said ViLaz. “There was no love, or warmth, or safety there, things I didn’t even realize existed until they were given to me, here. This? This is a home.”

Her sisters considered this for a moment.

“Sasha and Mingxia have been so welcoming. Sasha’s going to be here in a minute, I bet she’ll bring us candy, too.”

“Candy?” Both sisters asked.

“You’re going to love it.”

There was a long pause.

“Is it true?” Both sisters asked.

“Is what true?”

“I didn’t know there were others,” the sisters replied. “I didn’t know there was a chip in my head. Is it true that the Red God is just a ruse?”

ViLaz looked at her feet, and after a moment, ViLaz responded, “Father created us to keep himself alive, and he created the Red God in order to get followers for his sick testing.”

“And what of this Ariadne?” The sisters asked, “We were using her legend to draw people in, but she seems to have as many followers as father ever did. How has she built this?”

ViLaz thought about this, but had no answer.

“Same way she found you,” Sasha said from the doorway, “she finds kids without a proper home, shows them there’s a better world, and makes sure they know they’ve always got a safe bed and a hot meal waiting for them in it.”

“It was my understanding that she was originally trying to kill us,” ViLaz replied.

“Well,” Sasha said, “Everybody makes mistakes. If it makes you feel any better, my sister’s the one who’d have done the actual killing, and she never believed you were the true threat.”

“That,” ViLaz said, “only makes me feel slightly better.”

“It doesn’t make me feel much more comfortable,” her sisters said.

“Oh good!” Sasha said, “the slight difference in your experiences has already started to yield different responses to external stimuli.”

“I don’t understand,” all three said at the same time.

“And we’re back to square one,” Sasha laughed. “Look, I know you don’t want different names, but as of now I’m your primary care physician, so, for medical reasons, I’m going to need to be able to tell the difference between you. I have a fun idea, though. Bracelets!”

“Bracelets?” all three asked.

“That’s not getting old at all,” Sasha said, handing each of them a hand-woven bracelet woven from plastic threads. “Yes, bracelets. One in each primary color. Cyan, Magenta, and Yellow. You can go by whatever you like outside sickbay, but, until you come up with names of your own, this is how I’ll address you. Is that okay?”

The triplets did not reply.

“I’m going to take that as a yes.” Sasha explained. “So, I have some good news for the three of you.”

The triplets looked at her expectantly.

“Gotta learn a better way to communicate, girls,” Sasha looked at her clipboard uncomfortably. “You three are as healthy as any person could possibly be. I mean, it’s almost impossible.”

“I was kept on a strict diet in the—” all three began.

Sasha interrupted. “No, you don’t understand. All three of you are in perfect physical condition. Even the one of you who’s been fed on nothing but junk food for weeks.”

Two of the triplets fell silent. Cyan, the triplet who’d been with the crew the longest, eventually responded. “Surely a few weeks of lax dietary habits can’t have affected me all that much, and besides, you outfitted me with all sorts of—”

“—that’s the strange part,” Sasha replied, “Ariadne and I did a good job with our cybernetics, but… we didn’t do this good of a job. We did enough to keep you alive, with minor tweaks to ensure your comfort along the way.”

“I don’t see what—”

Sasha continued undeterred by the interruption. “—but, see, the other day, when you found out the truth about the Red God—”

All three triplets visibly winced.

“—you did something you shouldn’t have been able to do. You cried out of both eyes. Ariadne noticed it and she’s had me monitoring your progress ever since.”

Magenta and Yellow remained silent. After a moment, Cyan replied, “is there any other way to cry?”

“In a typical case, no, and that’s the issue we’re facing,” Sasha explained. “Your case is not typical. You have a bionic eye with a synthetic lid. We didn’t install tear ducts. Logically, you should only have cried out of one eye, and once we noticed, we’d have built you some artificial tear ducts to make you feel a little more at home in your skin.”

Cyan looked at her feet. “Isn’t that good, that I’m recovering better than expected?”

Sasha chuckled. “Of course it is. But, more importantly, this tells us a little bit about your… unique physiology. See, you three are unlike any organism in the universe. You are designed to survive and adapt in any conditions. Your body has integrated with its cybernetics on a level we can’t even understand without further study.”

All three triplets looked at their respective feet.

“Your, uh, creators have done something with your genes that make you far more resilient than the average person. Your bodies integrate with bionics so readily that it could put prosthetic technology decades ahead in just a few days.”

All three triplets remained silent for a moment.

“I’m basically saying that you can’t get sick, and that you’ve done medical science a huge favor!”

The triplets did not respond.

“At some point in this conversation I’m going to need some input from you ladies,” Sasha sighed.

All three replied, “Am I a freak?”

“Hey,” this took Sasha aback, not because of what they asked, but because of how sadly they had asked it, “don’t say that like it’s a dirty word. Average people write books about freaks like us.”

The triplets responded, “you’re a freak too?”

Sasha smiled. “Name another gay Martian teenage pirate doctor. There’s nobody in the system like me but me. Trust me, a freak is a good thing to be.”

The triplets remained silent.

Sasha continued in the hopes of evoking some sort of response from them. “‘Freak’ is a badge of honor around these parts. It means you’re special, and soon, the three of you will all find out what kind of beautiful, brilliant freaks you are.”

Each triplet smiled a bit, but Cyan smiled the broadest. She’d told them, Sasha was someone they could trust.  

“Miz Sasha?” Yellow asked.

“Yes, darling?”

“My— Cyan told us to ask you about…” Yellow trailed off.

Magenta picked up where she left off, “She told us to ask you about candy?”

Sasha flashed a wide grin. “Good thing I brought my prescription pad,” she said, writing something practically unintelligible on a slip of paper. “Each of you take one of these slips and bring it up to Cookie. She’ll know what it says.”

She handed each of them a prescription that, despite their complete lack of legibility, clearly did not say the same thing.

“I think you’ll be feeling at home here sooner than you think.”

[fallen029]

Unfinished Thunder Strauss Tribe

I haven’t been too productive recently and am still devoting most my free writing time to the last Remember Me story. So I haven’t gotten around to writing many new things recently. Still, here’s an old, unfinished one-shot I wrote this last winter. I abandoned it for some reason (I think I felt the jokes got a little too off-color), but I’m pretty apathetic today, so here it is, if you’re into that kind of thing. Maybe one day I’ll finish it. Maybe. 

.

It was a miserable idea for Laxus, the loss of control was. Not so much the actual fact of it, but rather the terrible thoughts that lead up to it, as he considered whether or not he should go through with it. The procedure.  Going under the knife was horrifying enough, but the concept of being completely powerless, for the world to go on around him while he could do nothing, but be unconscious, was not a comforting thought to the slayer.

“Ah, yes,” Freed agreed when he explained this to him. “You are fearful of the idea because you were put under when the lacrima was implanted in you by your father, right? The concept of surgery troubles you simply because it has always been tied to such an unpleasant memory.”

“No,” Laxus growled a bit with a glare. “I hadn’t even thought of that. But now it’ll be all I can think about. Thanks.”

“Well, if it helps,” Bickslow was quick to point out as the rune mage only sighed. “You didn’t, like, die from that. You came out stronger. Better. You’re Raijin! But...it also led to you losing your entire family and drove your father crazy, so I can see where you’re coming from.”

That time, Laxus was growling too much to even say anything.

It was alright though as Mirajane, who was seated beside him at the table, only took to patting at his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, dragon,” she insisted. It was her day off, which meant that Mirajane spent the day up at the hall anyways, critiquing Lisanna and Kinana’s barmaid work. It was her favorite past time. “Nothing will happen to you. You just drift off to sleep and then, when it’s time, wake up again.”

“She’s right,” Freed ventured again. “There is no one in there with you other than those preforming the procedure. Nothing to worry about.”

“Unless,” Bickslow started up again, ignoring the glares he got from the other three, “someone takes advantage of ya. You know. While you’re under.”

“What does that even mean?” Mira asked with a frown.

“I think we all know.” Bickslow shook his head at Laxus. “You gotta always be on your guard, boss.”

Freed only took to rubbing his palm deeper into his eye socket. After finding that, no, this did not make the seith disappear, he addressed him instead.

“Bickslow,” he complained softly, “why would you even say that? Who thinks of those things?”

“Well, clearly I do. And you know what’s never happened to me? I’ve never been taken advantage of.”

“You also have fucked up teeth.”

That came from one table over where Elfman and Evergreen were totally not sitting together or anything, but, well, with Mira there, at the table next to Laxus, it left little room for Ever, and she just had to sit nearby, as to overhear if anyone said anything terrible about her. If Bickslow’s constant stream of nonsense the past minute or so said anything, it was that someone in their group was always getting shit on.

And she was not going to allow herself to be the one.

But no, she wasn’t the one that spoke. Given they were currently discussing something she had no interest in, she was hardly listening, honestly. More seething over finding Mirajane in her chair. Replacing her. How could they?

Elfman though was the one that spoke up. He only stared over at the seith as he did so.

“What?” Bickslow complained. “Whaddu ya mean? Huh? Boy, a guy have some funky stuff going on in his mouth and suddenly it’s just okay to attack him for no reason.”

“I believe what Elfman is saying,” Freed sighed as, again, he tried pushing his palm into the opposite eye, but still with little luck, “is that Laxus is going to go under anesthesia to get his wisdom tooth removed. Bickslow, who has never so much as had someone look at his teeth, has allowed them to get rather...well...”

“Fucked up,” Elfman repeated once more and the green haired man only nodded.

“Yes,” Freed sighed. “And Elfman is merely pointing out that, considering the state at which he has allowed his teeth to get, it is rather ridiculous for him to comment on what Laxus plans to do to insure his do not wind up the same.”

“I don’t give a fuck what my teeth look like,” Laxus remarked.

“Some of us at the table do,” Mira told him simply and, well, Freed had to nod along with that. Even when he cared not for his safety, there certainly were others who thought of it frequently.

“I’m just doin’ it because it’s fuckin’ painful,” the slayer went on, ignoring both his girlfriend and best friend. “And I can’t get addicted to pain pills. Would fuck with my sex drive.”

“There was so much information packed into that one sentence,” Elfman said simply from where he sat. “A lot I didn’t even wanna know. But mostly, Laxus, I’m wonderin’, what kind of man are you anyways? That you fear a little pain?”

“A little?” The slayer growled again. “I have a fucking tooth trying to grow up under my other teeth, and it’s giving me a damn infection!”

“I’d die of an infection before I took a damn pain pill,” Elfman retorted.

“Yeah? Elfboy? You would?” The lightning mage was growing steadily more annoyed with all of them, honestly. “Well, why don’t I cut ya open some and let you get some of those damn infect-”

“Laxus.” Mirajane ran a hand down his arm soothingly, yet in warning. “Behave.”

He huffed, but remained silent.

“Infection talk already?” Lisanna was at their table then, finally, to refill their drinks. Laxus, who wasn’t allowed to drink on his pills, tried hard not to hate the demon (and Freed) for being there and making sure that he didn’t. “Wow, you guys are having quite the conversation.”

“Dragon is just worried about his procedure in the morning,” Mira assured her sister. “And hey, Lisanna, maybe not spend so much time lingering over there with Natsu and Happy? Playing? And maybe more time on your customers?”

“They are my customers though, big sis,” the youngest Strauss insisted as she and Bickslow beamed at one another. “I’m furthering better relationships with them. To help improve morale and all that.”

“Oh.” Mira thought for a moment. “I guess that makes sense.”

“That makes,” Freed informed her, “zero sense.”

“And don’t be worried about your tooth thing, Laxus.” Lisanna did not wish to dwell on the fallacies she frequently fed her sister. At all. “They don’t put you under for that, you know. Not fully, at least. Just enough to get you loopy and out of it.”

“See?” Mira patted again at his arm. “Nothing to worry about at all, dragon. You’ll be loopy and out of it and feel no pain. You could conqueror the world like that.”

“Are you implying he, specifically, could do that? Because of his strength and prowess?” Freed questioned. “Or are you simply implying that in general, any person under those circumstances could-”

“Does,” Evergreen retorted, still glaring Mira’s way, as she had been, the entirety of the time, “it matter?”

“Well, I am only curious.”

They were right though, Laxus was certain, and he eased up some at the thought. Yes. Of course. He could look out for himself so long as he wasn’t completely unconscious. Right. Of course.

“But boss,” Bickslow kept up, “think about it; isn’t it a lot worse, to just be conscious enough to know that you’re being taken advantage of? But being unable to stop it? I say don’t do it.”

“Who’s going to take advantage of Laxus?” Lisanna was now, apparently, forming a bond with her siblings, boyfriend, and Freed and Ever, given that she was hanging around far too long. If she wasn’t so invested in keeping Laxus from calling the whole thing off, Mira might have critiqued her.

“Well, it’s all about power, ain’t it?” the seith kept up. “All of it. What’s more powerful then? Huh? Than taking advantage of the most powerful wizard around?”

“I’m starting to think you’re wanting to take advantage of him,” Freed remarked dryly and the seith only beamed.

“Oh, gosh, your teeth are fucked up,” Evergreen said, acting as if this was the first time she’d noticed.

It was not.

Laxus let out a long, haggard breath then. “Would you all just shut up? Other than the demon and Freed, I dunno why I even still talk to you.”

“Especially Bickslow,” Elfman remarked. “In light of all this. It ain’t too manly, you know, to try and take advantage of someone indisposed.”

“Or at all,” Freed told him, a bit offended, honestly, at the addition of the stipulation. “Even in non-sexual ways. You shouldn’t...trick people into things. Con them. Whatever. If you have power in a situation, you should act accordingly.”

It was Bickslow, however, who was the most offended, it seemed.

“Oi,” he complained after a slurp of his ale. “Here I am, trying to help the boss like a good guy to make sure he doesn’t get taken advantaged of, and you guys make me out to be some sort of scam artist.”

“I think the implication was that you’re a rapist. Or at least a budding one.” Evergreen couldn’t believe she cared enough to still be so involved in the conversation. “Or at least that’s what I got out of all this.”

“Just shut up.” Laxus slammed his fist on the table then. “All of you. And hey, Lisanna, I ordered a meal over an hour ago now, it feels like. Are you gonna be serving me any time soon?” This is going to affect your tip.”

She made a face at him (though, honestly, she was now worried about the fact she hadn’t even begun to get his order ready) before replying, “I have to stick around and make sure you guys don’t take advantage of Bickslow.”

“Have no fear,” Freed sighed. “There will be none of that here.”

“In the non-sexual way. And you guys do it all the time.” Lisanna looked to Bickslow then, nodding over at the man as he fumbled with a lighter for his cigarette. “You badger him.”

“We what?” Elfman asked.

“Badger,” his younger sister kept up. “Bickslow has never, in his entire life, had so much as a perverse thought. But now you have him painted as some kind of sexual deviant. The nerve.”

“The nerve,” the man’s babies, who floated about as always, repeated as their father only nodded his head.

“It’s true,” he said. “I’m practically a saint. Now you guys have everyone around here thinking I’mma sneak in and hurt the boss or somethin’ while he’s under, getting his tooth pulled. I’m not.”

“We’re glad,” Mira assured him with a bit of a frown. “But you’re the one who brought all this up, you know, Bickslow.”

“I was just highlighting boss’s fears. That’s all. Nothin’ else. But you guys get to twisting my words all about and I have no way of defending myself. Not without Lissy here.”

“I’ve never in my life...feared being… Shut up, Bickslow.” Laxus glare was so heavy, the seith had to drop his visor back over his eyes. “Why is this even funny? Why is this a joke?”

“It’s not,” Freed assured them. “You should all be very ashamed for-”

“Oh, shut up.” Ever wasn’t in the mood for him either, it seemed. “You’re just as involved in this as anyone. It’s not even the worst thing you’ve all discussed before.”

“Us all. But not you, right?” Freed was just as tight with her. When it was just the three of them, the Thunder Legion, they typically found themselves pitted against Bickslow and his quickening deteriorating mental state, but when they were around the Strauss siblings, well, at times they could find themselves at odds with one another. “The only funny thing in all of this to me, honestly, is that we all have allowed ourselves to become so derailed. We did not come here to discuss the realities and often under reported male sexual assaults-”

“You guys really know how to bring down a room, you know,” Lisanna told them all with glances around the table.

“We came here,” Freed kept up, “to talk about how we will handle tomorrow.”

“I don’t need you geeks handling anything.” Laxus had that growl in his voice once more. “Mira’s going to go down with me, to the dental office, I’mma get my tooth pulled or whatever, and then she’s going to take me home. And I don’t wanna see any of you hanging around my apartment when I get there.”

“Oh, dragon, that’s not the plan.” Mira patted at his arm. “Freed and I’ll take you and Elfman will come too, in case you get unruly.”

“They will not.”

“And then we’ll all take you back to my house,” Mira kept up, “where we’ll all take turns keeping watch over you.”

“No. Mira, I am telling you-”

“It has to be that way, Laxus.” That time his arm didn’t get patted. She only stared at him. “I have work tomorrow. I can’t spend all day with you.”

“Take the day off.”

“Two off days in a row?” She couldn’t help it, Mira couldn’t. She giggled. “Do you think I have that kind of pull around here? Be serious, Laxus.”

“I’m the fucking master’s grandson! You are fucking the master’s grandson! The master fucking wants to fuck you! Everyone wants to fuck you! How do you not have pull here?”

“Whoa, man.” Bickslow was the only one that spoke then as the others all gave him harsh looks. “Don’t be rude, huh? Saying vulgar  stuff like that. I know this is a bar, boss, but you’re in mixed company.”

“Ain’t too manly,” Elfman agreed, “talking that way in front of ladies.”

“This is why Kinana and I both don’t serve you,” Lisanna added because, honestly, she just didn’t feel much up for cooking a meal that day. “But we’d appreciate it if you tip as if we did.”

Laxus finally had had enough. He shoved up from the table and skulked off. Mira looked after him, but didn’t seem too keen to follow.

“He can be so bratty sometimes,” she complained, instead, to the others. “Well, anyways, everyone knows their schedule, right? For taking care of him?”

“I have written copies, in color coded writing,” Freed began then as he rose then, just to pass out sheets of paper to them all, “of the schedule. I expect everyone to be cooperative in this. Mira must go into work, following his appointment, and though I would like to sit around with Laxus all day, I too have an engagement-”

“And I can’t babysit the boss all day long either,” Bickslow said. “I-”

“No one wants you alone with him,” Evergreen remarked simply. “At all.”

“Salacious,” the seith griped, “rumors.”

“Badgering,” Lisanna agreed. “I say.”

“Why am I not on the list?” Elfman spoke up once he’d read over it. “All it says here is that I’m going with you and Freed, Mira, to help knock Laxus out and force him to get his tooth removed, if need be-”

“But I’m the weird one,” Bickslow complained as Lisanna took her turn then, patting at her boyfriend’s shoulder.

“To think Laxus is this popular,” Mira giggled. “That you all want a turn watching him sleep. That’s all he do anyways, I bet, really. I just want someone there in case he needs anything, is all.”

“Laxus is our fearless leader,” Freed reminded the woman. “Of course we care about his well-being.”

“Well, I know,” Mira insisted. “I just meant-”

“Men shouldn’t look out for men anyways.” And Elfman threw his carefully color coded sheet of paper from him, drawing the ire of the rune mage. “It’s not right! Men look out for women only. Laxus can take care of himself. I don’t care at all about being left out. I-”

“Hey, where has Laxus gotten off to?” Lisanna, finally, began to look around for the man. “Did he leave?

[rael-rider]

Guardians of the Galaxy #6

Wow this was so lackluster and it started really OK but just fizzled out and had no point. Also me ranting so if this isn’t your cup of tea then steer clear. I do say one or two nice things about this though.

Why does Rich even need a fricking energy rifle to fight the Black Order? Who by the way he totally wrecked in their own mini (Oh and he suddenly forgot who Proxima was, Marvel editors where you at?). Yes I know about New Warriors vol 1 #17 but Rich was so much weaker back then and he couldn’t do energy blasts back then (unless he was absorbing energy) and they were fighting Terrax IIRC so it made sense at least at that time for him to have an energy rifle.

What the hell was the point of this story? Also all that attention given to Cosmic Ghost Rider that had little to nothing to do with the main story, most of the actual Guardians not doing anything until the very end. Just give Cates a Cosmic Ghost Rider ongoing with Knull, Wraith, and symbiote OCs.

Everyone saw the Thanos implanting himself on Eros thing and dismissed it as being too obvious. Now Cates tries to do it for laughs when he has Eros proclaim “Oooh it was too obvious” like what? That doesn’t excuse that shitty decision.

Hela did nothing and she jobbed in the end, Knowhere is gone (what will Cosmo do now), but for what reason? Why? Way to fricking use that stupid black hole gun as a quick way to end the story. I also love how everyone really forgot or didn’t give a shit about the heroes that were in the black hole “Oh yeah they died” and they never mattered.

Whatever was being set up between Gamora and Nebula didn’t mattered.

Phyla acting weird “Oh you silly boys” what? Also her and Moondragon need to have their own personalities again and be more defined since they’re just there in the book. How does Alt Heather’s powers work anyway? She had a pet dragon tattoo and now she makes random cool Dragons appear? Cosmic Ghost Rider said she was crazy powerful so at least build on that. How does Alt Phyla’s powers work? What happened to her sword? Why is she flying around like she’s Carol Danvers? Why is she using her Cosmic Awareness all the time? Or better yet bring back 616 Moondragon and Phyla-Vell and actually care about them.

Also that “I love you” from Peter towards Gamora is obviously meant to be  romantic and honestly it didn’t upset me because it was inevitable since comic writers do anything the movies do nowadays and I was expecting it. It’s so weird to me that Cates set Rich as the one Gamora has romantic feelings for when Nebula goes after him but then totally forgets about him. He really does because Rich doesn’t do much in this arc and wasn’t even allowed to have close moments with Peter and Gamora or even talk to them in any significant way. He doesn’t react even when Peter gets “killed” and he gives some buts when Peter is determined to save Gamora which is something very OOCs for him to do. If I was a new reader I would be asking myself why do Gamora and Star-Lord even care about him? They felt like casual acquaintances. But I guess the Rich and Gamora thing is now dropped, which I’m fine with it (wasn’t big into it when Bendis tried to bring it back out of the blue especially since Rich was in love with Namorita in Thanos Imperative) but I just hope this doesn’t lead to love triangle drama because it would be the perfect way to fuck up some good relationships for cheap drama and oh boy it’s going to happen huh?

In the beginning of this comic Peter has PTSD about Gamora killing him, he’s legit upset at her to the point he has anxiety attacks when he relieved the moment that she killed him. That some serious stuff and he’s justified in feeling that way since she drove a sword through him with the excuse of “I can just bring him back with the Infinity stones”. Now suddenly Peter is just like “I was just mad because after everything you did I still loved you” OK fine I can see that but at least build to that confession. Or at least have him say something along the lines of “I want you to know that I love you but I am also angry with you for murdering me” or something along those lines, don’t dismiss the fact that Peter was panicking about relieving that moment and being a wreck of a human being. I know Gamora wanted to talk to him in issue #4 but he wasn’t open to it and he’s honestly justified in feeling that way, again she killed him. It would be good if they dealt with that properly before they take their relationship even further but whatever, I don’t much care under this writer now.

Like I said if they’re going to have Peter and Gamora be a romantic couple just build to it but no writer ever really seems to care much about it.  Bendis who pulled the BFFs thing really didn’t care to build on why they were BFFs they just became besties behind the scenes (and why would he care to build on it because he already admitted he didn’t read anything that came before his own run). I did like Peter telling Gamora to take her time when she told him she was unsure of how she felt, which makes a lot of sense since she just killed him and wasn’t particularly remorseful about it and

Oh and Peter telling Gamora “No don’t kill Eros and stop Thanos from coming back because that makes you no better than he is” like what the fuck? The guy who was ready to die in the Cancerverse to make sure Thanos was perma dead and to keep him from coming back just said that? Get out. Peter would be OK with Gamora killing Eros especially since Eros tried to kill her for that same reason.

Peter’s speech about everyone being a Guardian while they were drinking in the bar was good.

Rich dodges being a Guardian once again. It’s obvious the real reason for the first time was because he had his own ongoing and this time it’s because of editorial and writer reasons. But I’m fine with it since it ads to my headcanon that he prefers to work solo. He never really followed Nova corps protocols either and got in trouble for that. Steve even had him as a reserve for his Secret Avengers because being Nova was his priority and kept him busy and he really couldn’t commit to that either. Doesn’t mean he can’t work as a team especially since he was the General of the United Front but remember that after Annihilation a bunch of races and planet figureheads wanted him to join up with them and he didn’t. He was also very cautious and hesitant in re-doing the Nova corps (but I think that involved so many other reasons). New Warriors being a special case which made a lot of sense considering who he was and at the point he was in his life.

But really Rich might as well not have been in this comic and honestly after reading this I am glad he isn’t permanently in it. Cates doesn’t get the character at all nor does he care about him. He’s obviously setting up something with Knull and using the cosmic characters for that end. Not to mention Ewing is supposedly planning something with Rich and Wendell and I’m glad he’s going to be written by someone who cares about him. Shame I can’t even have one good post-Cancerverse Peter and Rich talk or a good emotional moment between those two considering how much of a wreck Peter can be when depressed and all those times Rich just pushes him to safety only to go and do something dangerous himself (plus the importance for Peter to be there with Rich when Rich is facing his own end). But at least Duggan did show that Peter was upset about Rich popping back to the world of the living and not telling him although I expected him to be more emotional considering the state of things.

Oh and Rich is back to comic limbo I guess, at least until whatever Ewing is planning with him and Wendell happens. At least I’ll look forward to those two, I love their relationship and it seems Ewing set an interesting dynamic between them in the Annual.

[integreti]

•   )     it’s  no  secret  my  boy  alenko  is  a  Very  decorated  soldier,  but  i've  always  wondered  why  he  wasn't  N7.   even  back  during  the  events  of  ME1,  they  had  often  mentioned  the  fact  he’s  an  exceptional  soldier  with  a  remarkable  service  record.   the  more  i  thought  about  it,  the  more  confused  i  got.   imo,  he  should  have  already  been  N7  or,  at  least,  working  towards  becoming  N7,  since  they  have  never  specified  how  long  it  takes  before  you  graduate  ICT.   (  as  we’ve  learned  from  kai  leng’s  codex,  training  can  take  up  to  4  yrs  ).

it’s  even  more  bewildering  when  comparing  kaidan  and  ashley’s  service  records,  and  their  elevation  to  spectre  status.   don't  get  me  wrong,  i  like  ashley  a  lot,  but  she  was  quite  young,  and  she  was  only  a  chief.   had  she  been  offered  a  chance  to  join  N7  during  the  game's  timeline,  okay,  sure,  but  logically  speaking,  if  she  was  already  N7  by  the  time  ME  2/3  rolled  around?   nahhhh,  i  don't  think  so.   however,  turning  the  tables,  it’d  make  more  sense  for  kaidan.   don’t  forget,  there's  a  7  yr  difference  between  he  and  ash !   kaidan  has  had  A  Lot  of  time  to  Get  Shit  Done.

in  conclusion,  i  will  say  yes,  at  one  point,  kaidan  was  eligible  to  join  the  N7  program.   however,  the  alliance  required  that  he  undergo  a  surgical  upgrade  to  his  L2  implant  due  to  safety  concerns,  and,  for  that  reason,  kaidan  respectfully  declined  the  offer.

•   )     since  kaidan's  implant  is  apparently  quite  'unstable',  it  makes  me  wonder  what  else  about  him  has  been  rendered  unstable  —  er,  well,  physically  unstable,  that  is.   biotics  burn  through  calories  like  crazy,  right?   their  bodies  demand  a  hefty  serving  of  sugars  and  carbs  just  to  get  through  the  day,  and  that  isn’t  counting  after  they  have  stressed  their  biotic  abilities  in  battle  /  training ...

when  kaidan  was  young,  i  believe  he  had  a  lot  of  baby  fat  !!   kaidan  was  always  on  the  chubbier  side,  even  during  his  teens.   i  mean,  he  was  muscular,  too,  being  the  athletic  kid  that  he  was,  no  doubts  there,  but  with  a  fair  bit  of  chub  because  of  just  how  much  he  would  eat  on  a  daily  basis.

lack  of  self-control  was  one  thing,  but  kaidan’s  body  just  wasn't  used  to  the  implant,  and  it  took  years  and  years  for  his  body  to  begin  adjusting  even  somewhat  to  its  severe  side-effects.   due  to  the  L2′s  unstable  nature  and  all,  it  really  fucked  up  his  eating  habits  for  a  long  while.   at  least,  until  he  joined  the  alliance.

army  life  and  its  uncompromising  routine  countered  his  constant  calorie  intake  exceptionally  well.   not  only  were  his  meals  set  to  a  well-timed  schedule,  they  were  also  portioned,  with  NO  time  for  snacking  during  the  day.   (  and  also  bc  who  TF  has  time  for  crisps  while  on  a  mission  /  going  through  rigorous  training   lol   )

not  to  mention,  joining  the  alliance  had  introduced  him  to  biotic  nutrient  supplement  bars,  also  known  as  stimulant  bars,  designed  specifically  for  biotics.   with  the  help  of  such  nourishment,  kaidan  totally  curbed  his  bad  snacking  habits.   for  once,  after  eating  a  meal  and  one  of  those  bars,  he  would  actually  feel  full  and  satisfied  and  ready  to  tackle  whatever !