#and the rest of them were like ‘yeah. Start a podcast’
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
told my seniors I was just going to lecture at them for a minute and this one girl did a hand heart and was like “I could listen to you talk for hours”
#and the rest of them were like ‘yeah. Start a podcast’#which. Is incredibly sweet and a bad idea#anyway it’s been. There have been some real Balms lately#the feminine energy of my senior class. I’m so sorry to the 5 boys in my class
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
cmon Berlin you can do better 🥲
#for WAD Dan had the same problem in this venue#idk if it’s just a bit too big?#in the end it didn't feel that empty tho#but yeah it’s still so sad to see only four blocks completely sold out and the rest mostly having more unsold seats than sold ones#hoping it will sell more closer to the show (although it’s already so close like it’s less than two months now 🤯)#I feel like European shows are always a bit tricky#like yes obviously there’s some of us here but we will never be as many as in English speaking countries#I mean Germany for example had its own huge YouTube scene when DnP were at their peak#and everyone knows about the biggest YouTubers from back then even if they didn't actively watch them#meanwhile I don't think any of my irls would know what I'm talking about if I started talking about the Brit Crew let alone D&P lol#at the venue in Berlin there's actually a show by two German YouTubers who were really known back then#& now have a podcast and make comedy content together I think?#and their show is completely sold out!!#like the difference is crazy tbh#(tbf I think their content is A LOT more mainstream than DnPs so that's probs also a factor)
0 notes
Text
SO, YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND? | GETO S.
synopsis: when watching a certain scary movie gives your husband, suguru, the perfect idea on how to ruin you.
c.w: p0rn with plot, fem!reader, reader is referred to as “good girl” “pretty girl”, mask kink (hehe<3), slight fear play, fingering, cunnilingus, dirty talk, suguru talks you through it, praise kink, strength kink if you squint, im obsessed with suguru's arms, clit smack, multiple orgasms.
word count: 2,1k
note: i am BRICKED after writing this. happy halloween hehe.
ghostface suguru! ( @aurelianamu )
In a dimly lit room, at around 10PM—it was a bit cold outside, the perfect weather to snuggle up and watch some movies. Romance movies? No, you did that last week. Action movie? Eh, you were not in the mood for that—oh, Scream. Your thumb presses on the movie before you put the remote control down and walk towards the kitchen to grab some snacks.
“Sugu, I picked a movie!” you announce as you make your way out of the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn and two drinks. Your husband marches down the stairs in a lazy manner, his long strands messily sticking out of his ponytail that he has to stop and tie it up again. He sees what movie you picked and he stands behind you on the couch.
“Scream?” he questions, hands resting on your shoulders.
“First movie, pretty iconic.”
“I don’t think it’s that scary though,” he doesn’t really say that he would rather watch something else, simply joins you on the couch and pulls you towards him with the bowl of popcorn resting on your lap.
The movie is indeed not that scary, you kept quoting some of the lines here and there, which earned you a chuckle from Suguru every time.
“No, please don’t kill me Mr. Ghostface I wanna be in the sequel,” you say in the same voice and attitude and your husband runs a hand through your hair.
“I think you’d easily outsmart him,” your husband is very supportive of you, but instead of making fun of his statement, your heart thrums in your chest when you picture Suguru in the ghostface mask.
“Really?” you look up at him through your eyelashes but Suguru is staring ahead and doesn’t notice the eyes you’re giving him.
“Yeah, they’re all pretty stupid—minus Sidney, I mean the fact that—“ your husband goes on a three minute ramble about the plot, how he appreciates the intelligence of the main character all while saying that the choice of the ghostface killers was nice. Unbeknownst to him, you were thinking of something else. Something far dirtier than intended.
“Baby,” you cut him off from his ramble and he hums in response.
“You’d be pretty hot as ghostface.” Suguru looks down on you when you say that and raises both eyebrows knowingly.
“Are you insinuating something?” To which you shrug your shoulders before staring back at the big screen in your living room, playing innocent.
“Just saying.”
You weren’t just saying, you knew exactly what you were doing. The next day, you’re sat on your bed folding laundry while watching the newest episode to your favorite podcast. You liked keeping your brain stimulated, and it distracted you from the fact that your husband was always gone for long hours during the day. But when you hear the keys rustling and the front door opening, you raise an eyebrow but don’t question it. Today’s mission must’ve been quick, you think to yourself.
“Welcome home!” you call out from your bedroom but don’t bother to get up, you knew he would come to your bedroom immediately so you keep your eyes on your computer and go back to folding the laundry.
A couple of minutes pass and Suguru doesn’t walk inside the bedroom, so you start getting a little suspicious and decide to go check on him.
“Sugu?” you walk out of the bedroom and notice how the lights downstairs are turned off. You remember leaving them on for him, so he must’ve turned them off on his way upstairs—but where was he?
“Baby, are you in the shower?” the lights in the bathroom were on but the door was closed. Suguru never walked to the bathroom first without greeting you—unless something was wrong. You put your hand on the door handle, but before you could twist the knob, a warm and rough hand covers your mouth and your blood runs cold when you’re being pulled into a different room.
You don’t have time to scream or panic, because when you’re being pinned to the wall by a rather familiar set of hands, your eyes almost bulge out of your skull when you notice the ghostface mask. You’re breathing heavily, cheeks flushed but there’s no sign of panic because you know who this is—the dragon tattoo peeking out of his shirt and the wedding band on his ring finger are enough evidence.
“Do you like scary movies?” Suguru’s voice sounds silky smooth, but the flirting connotation to it has your heart leaping out of your chest.
“Sugu—“
“Wrong,” he pins both hands above your head and his body is so close to yours that you feel the heat radiating off of it. “Let’s try again, I know my girl is smart.”
Your breath is caught in your throat, but you play along and nod sheepishly.
“Do you like scary movies?”
“Mhm,”
“What’s your favorite scary movie?” He traces a finger over your cheek, and the arousal slowly starts pooling between your legs.
“Hm, I don’t know,” you reply in a similar flirtatious tone, nervousness long gone. The realization that you didn’t have to explicitly tell your husband about the ghostface mask and him buying it for your pleasure made all of this very thrilling.
“You have to have a favorite, what comes to mind?”
“Hm, Halloween,” you stick to the same script of the movie, you buck your hips towards him but he pushes a knee between your legs and pins you again to the wall. “Y’know, the one with the guy with the white mask that walks around and stalks baby sitters?”
“Yeah,” Suguru breathes out and takes in how gorgeous you look like this—how he should’ve thought of doing this a long time ago. Your eyes were blown out with lust, chest heaving in excitement all while allowing him to play with you like this. He could feel his pants tighten and his cock was slowly getting hard from knowing exactly what was coming.
“What’s yours?” you bring him out of his thoughts and although you can’t see his face, you know that he was giving you that signature charming smile that always won over your heart.
“Guess.” He purrs out and you subconsciously start grinding against his knee before giving him a reply.
“Nightmare on Elm Street,”
“Wrong,” Suguru goes off script and your lips part for a moment. You’re about to complain, tell him that this wasn’t in the movie—he lets go of your wrists and throws you over his shoulder, delivering a harsh smack to your ass, his rough hand kneads the skin as he makes his way towards your bedroom.
“Better luck next time,” he throws you on the bed and you let out a gasp when your back hits the mattress. You try to sit up, but your husband grabs your ankles and pulls you down towards the end of the bed. “Now let’s see just how fucking filthy you are,”
He parts your legs with his big hands covering the plush skin of your thighs, and you whine out when he removes your shorts to reveal your panties that had an obvious wet patch on them.
“Fuuuck,” he breathes out and lifts up the mask enough for his mouth and nose to be visible. He presses his nose against your panties and takes a whiff of your arousal, the sight is obscene and your face turns red at how pussy drunk he sounds. “Fuck, fuck—should’ve done this sooner baby, you smell so fucking good,” he gives your pussy a kiss through the fabric of your panties before his fingers remove them so messily that you let out a startled noise.
Suguru dives in between your legs and the wet sounds are dirty and make you feel even more turned on. His tongue laps at your clit, fingers pulling the hood back before spitting on it and your eyes roll to the back of your head when he sucks. Two of his thick fingers prod at your entrance, gathering some of the slick that’s pooled there before pushing a single finger inside.
“Thaaaat’s it, good girl,” he breathes out against your clit before giving it a kiss as he pushes the second finger inside. “Yeah, this pussy loves being stuffed by me—fuck, you’re so wet for me. All because of this mask baby girl?” his tone is playful but you’re far too gone to complain and just mindlessly nod.
“So drunk off of me and I haven’t even given you my cock,” he pumps his fingers in and out of you all while curling them to find that one spot inside you. He licks, sucks and spits on your clit with so much passion and when he finds that one spot, you let him know pretty quickly.
“Oh!” you gasp and your thighs shake. “S-Suguru, oh fuck--!” his wrist is burning as he keeps pumping his fingers in and out of you, and the veins in his forearm are bulging out from the sheer strength he is using to finger fuck you until you see white. His free hand comes down and presses against your stomach to apply pressure and keep you pinned down.
You make the mistake of opening your eyes to stare at him. His hand is covered in your arousal, but what truly pushes you over the edge is the fact that his mask had come down and was covering his face entirely. So when he decides to talk you through it, give you that one final push—the ghostface mask seems to intensify the orgasm tenfold.
“I know you’re a good girl, but I’m gonna need you to get dirty for me baby—there it is, theeere it is,” he sounds proud when you finally cum, and you’re loud. You whine and let out soft cries, your hands weakly push at his arm when he keeps fingering you through your orgasm.
“Suguru—too much!” you cry out and gasp when he pulls his fingers out of your soaking pussy to slap your clit.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he quickly starts to unbuckle his belt and pushes his pants enough to free his cock. The tip nudges at your folds and your husband hovers over you with his lean stature. Big broad shoulders cover your entire frame and you’re fucked out from your previous orgasm.
“I’m going in baby, let me in,” your legs spread instinctively to welcome him inside of you and you groan when you feel the sheer size of him inside you. Your hands grip at the back of his shirt, but Suguru holds himself up on his forearms so that you look at his mask.
“Yeah, that’s right—look at me baby, filthy fucking girl,” his strokes were slow but hard. His hands grab at the back of your thighs and push them before fucking into you harder. “You like it, huh?” you couldn’t even give a proper response, only mindlessly nodding when you could feel him even deeper inside you.
He pushes your knees to your chest before setting a dizzying pace. You feel so full of him, so full of his thick cock and Suguru’s eyes roll to the back of his head behind his mask every time he felt your pussy squeeze around him. His finger rubs at your clit the same way that you’ve shown him you like it, and the tip of his cock repeatedly nudges against that one spot that has you falling apart underneath him with a loud cry.
Your orgasm hits you hard and Suguru can’t hold it in any longer—he fucks into you for another minute, head buried in your neck as he groans out your name. Your pussy milks him dry, and he fills you up to the brim—to the point where you could feel him leak out of you.
You lay there breathing heavily, and you weakly reach for the ghostface mask and remove it off of your husband to reveal his sweaty forehead and flushed cheeks. He looks gorgeous like that, and you lock eyes for the first time since the entire night and you’re immediately pulled in towards one another.
Suguru kisses you with so much passion, dick still buried deep inside you and your legs stay wrapped around him as you two make out heavily under your sheets that stuck to your sweaty bodies. You pull away for a moment to kiss his forehead and Suguru closes his eyes as he melts at your touch.
“Thank you for that,” you say, so love struck that the man can’t help but chuckle at how breathless you sound.
“Let’s do it again, yeah?”
2023: all works belong to @ slttygeto. do not repost my works on any other platofrm.
—💭 if you like this, leave a tip!
#moon's works#yoooou're deaaaad and burieddd darling--AND BRICKED HELLO?#enjoy this because I did too#ghostface suguru my love#geto suguru x reader#suguru geto#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#geto smut#geto x reader smut#jjk geto#jjk smut#jjk geto suguru#suguru geto smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#geto suguru#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk x reader smut
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
jell-o shots
eustass kid/monkey d luffy/roronoa zoro/trafalgar law/vinsmoke sanji x afab!reader | slight smut/fluff | ~900 words
warnings: suggestive/18+ themes, mild cursing ?
a/n: i was listening to one of my fav podcasts (the basement yard) n they were talking about how some girls use the way that guys do jell-o shots to gauge if they're good @ eating pussy. so i ran w it 😁 also def a modern au ,, thinkin bout doin more of these 🤭
18+ MDNI | under the cut for length
you can't tear your eyes away from the man across the granite kitchen island. the way his tongue shoves into the sticky jell-o, laps at the sides of the cup, and swirls around the bottom to clean up any leftover sugary alcohol has you feeling dizzy and squeezing your thighs together. as if he couldn't get any more irresistible.
maybe it was the fact that you'd already thrown back a couple of drinks. or maybe it was the fact that you'd just imagined your boyfriend’s tongue doing that to you instead. but you were feeling particularly brave, particularly needy.
he sees you watching, and you can tell that he's wondering why you're staring at him so intently. his eyes call you over, and you take a few shaky steps around the island to sidle up next to your man.
you smooth your hands over his shoulders, your nails digging into his deltoids for stability as you lean in and whisper “can you eat pussy like that?”
eustass kid bursts out laughing. it's a hearty, wry laugh that has you pushing out your bottom lip and furrowing your brow at him.
“why the hell are you laughing?” you whine, pouting at him.
kid glances at you out of the corner of his eye, picking up another jell-o shot and repeating his ritual. he enjoys the feeling of your hold on his bicep tightening, and how you subconsciously press yourself further into him.
he lets his eyes travel further down to where he can see you rubbing your thighs together, and he feels a familiar hunger starting to burn in the pit of his abdomen.
once the cup is left pristinely crystal clean, he snakes an arm around your waist and pulls you flush against his chest. you can feel his lips brush against the shell of your ear and he huffs out another laugh.
“i wanna see you get on your knees and beg, doll.”
monkey d luffy blinks at you, a small smile stretching across his lips as he realizes what you had whispered to him.
“you mean can i eat you out? yeah! you wanna?” luffy chirps, picking up another jell-o shot and practically vacuuming out the sugary alcohol in one go. you watch, feeling like your legs are going to give out.
luffy grabs your waist with his arm to help prop you up against him. he's still grinning at you, eyes searching yours for any affirmation of what he had asked.
he pinches your side playfully and presses a kiss to your clavicle, then rests his head on top of yours, happy to be enjoying the party with you. but now there's something else he'd rather be enjoying, and he's still waiting for your answer.
so you nod, a movement so slight you’re worried that luffy wouldn't notice. but then luffy’s scooping you into his arms and running upstairs with you cradled to his chest, searching for any open bedroom or bathroom he can use to indulge in his favorite meal.
roronoa zoro straightens up slightly, pushing his nose into the air and looking at you out of the corner of his eye. his lips are set in a firm frown as he studies you for a bit, and then they’re stretching into a sly smirk.
he doesn't say anything, just backs you into the counter behind you and grips your waist with both of his hands. he leans in closer to you, pressing his cheek against yours. you can feel his thigh pressing against the seam of where your own thighs are clenched together, prying them apart.
you shudder at the way zoro’s hot breath is wafting across your neck, and you about explode when he presses a warm, wet kiss to the nape of your neck. he rests his face in the crook of your neck and you can feel his lips smile against your skin.
“you wanna find out?”
trafalgar d water law scoffs at you, wrinkling his nose and setting the empty cup down on the island.
“are you drunk?” he asks lowly, noticing how you're gripping so tightly onto his arm. you squeeze your thighs together once again when you feel his warm breath fan across your face and his hazy, grey eyes bore into yours.
“no.” you purse your lips, pressing yourself further into him. “i just…need you right now.” you give him a pointed look, feeling your cheeks heat up as you glance back down at the cup. he follows your gaze and snorts a chuckle out through his nose.
how could he resist you when you were so cute, being so desperate for him?
“come with me.” law rubs the small of your back and allows you to lean on him as he guides you through the party and upstairs. “let me take care of you.”
vinsmoke sanji is flabbergasted. the empty cup falls from his fingers and onto the counter. he's staring at you, wide eyed and blushing.
you shift uncomfortably under his stare, wondering if maybe you'd made a mistake, come on too strong perhaps. but your train of thought is quickly derailed when sanji grabs your hands and presses them to his chest.
“you mean it, princess?” sanji asks you, his eyes shining. his pupils are practically heart shaped as he beams at you, hands trembling as they held yours against his palpitating heart.
“mhm. right now.” you say softly, giving him a coy smile. you blink, and suddenly you're in sanji’s arms and he’s making a beeline for the nearest bedroom. sanji’s on a mission to serve you like the princess you are, party be damned.
taglist: @usoppsstar | @luffysprincess | @pileofmush | @anemptypuddingcup | @kingofthe-egirls
#one piece#one piece smut#eustass kid x reader#eustass kid#monkey d luffy#monkey d luffy x reader#roronoa zoro x reader#roronoa zoro#trafalgar law#trafalgar law x reader#vinsmoke sanji x reader#vinsmoke sanji#kid x reader#luffy x reader#zoro x reader#law x reader#sanji x reader
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Unwelcomed embrace (part two)
Yandere super family x neglected reader
( English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes in the following text.)
Note: this one shot is continuation of this one.
Tw: mentions of violence
"Why don't you have one of those small micro earphones that you attach to the collar of the clothing?" You groaned as you tried to find a good position to rest your hand on under the weight of the mic in your hand, you sighed as you looked at its round head, you didn't like it that much, it felt uneasy in your palm. The chair was too rigid for you to sit comfortably on it, creaking under your weight. You looked down at the mic that had a sock on as a muffler, smiling at the inventiveness of the reporter. "I presume your budget is not that much huh?" The reporter nodded with a sheepish smile as he tried to put on some powder to conceal some of the scar marks on your face, well, as much as your skin color let him do so. "Yeah..." he sighed "the budget is low."
You looked at him, focused on his task, young and ambitious, just like you, you felt like he had the same recklessness as well, why would a sane person come and meet a dangerous anti-hero over a post on Twitter? "Ready?" He asked as he adjusted his camera, you shifted on your seat once more, checking the dark background of the warehouse you were in, and then looked back at the shiny lens of the camera. You paused, still, your hand didn't have a good place to rest its elbow on, huffing in irritation, you rolled your eyes, you had to do something about it, if it kept irritating you, you'd end up messing everything up. So you focused on the cemented floor below, making a thick-bodied plant sprout out of the harsh floor and bend towards you, its leaves forming a cocoon, you smirked and put the mic on the head of the plant and used it as a stand, chuckling at the amazement of the reporter "Now I'm ready!"
"1...2...3..." the reporter spoke softly before the camera started filming and the red light on its front started blinking. "Alright, please introduce yourself..." he spoke to you behind the camera, tapping his pen nervously, you hummed to yourself and tapped your chin as you crossed your legs, trying to find a point to start from "I feel like a Podcaster now..." you joked, before clearing your throat as you started "Well, I'm what media used to call the "Green super" You used quotation marks in the air, your voice showing hints of your initial irritation to the name, which had associated you with superman since your powers were nearly the same. "But now I go with the Green Death, pretty cheesy, but I like it" you chuckled and continued "Well the name is not that far off from my personality either, I am green, my skin is that color."
"So, Green Death, your name has been on the news as the sole force that has kept the Armageddon from happening, twice, already, and now you, all of a sudden, while you had ignored the chance of interviewing with huge media broadcasters, have decided to have an interview now, here in the middle of nowhere, why is that?" You rubbed your chin as you thought about a response, your lips tilting upwards in a smirk "Well, now I have enough evidence to finally show the world who the heroes truly are." You paused, taking it the confused expression of the reporter, adding quickly "Make no mistake, I'm not going to expose their identities, that would make hell break loose, I just simply want to shed a much more different light on them and their actions. As you may know, I was a part of the young Justice League and then Justice League itself for a few years, and I'm the result of a 'heroic affair' myself, so I'd have a very different insight on them..."
"Why though? I mean we pretty much know about the heroes..." You let out a soft chuckle, leaning back in your seat "Well, that is sort of true, but tell me, do you know of the assaults and different crimes that have happened by their hands? For example, do you know Batman has kidnapped nearly three people and has erased their documents out of the system, making them vanish into thin air, never to be seen?" The reporter's eyes widened at that, your smirk turned into a wide smile as you continued "I have both the video footage and documents of it happening..."
"B-but why do you want to expose them for their deeds, knowing well you are fully aware of what they can do, surely they don't want anyone to know that... " "I have exposed the bad guys of the story already, my mother is after me because of that, so I don't think exposing the heroes would be any different...the world has to know who they truly are!"
You were hellbent on tarnishing the images of the heroes once and for all.
Since the time you had left the Justice League, your life had changed a lot, just within two years, you had gone from being a hero to a villain and then to an anti-hero, a cruel topsy turvey irony. It all had started with your mother finally owning up to her parenting role and had found you in your most vulnerable state when you were struggling to pass your days in your trailer. She took you in and tried in her twisted way to help you, for a short period you felt like you had a family, she seemed genuinely nice. But a few months later, you ended up joining the dark force, how? You still were not sure, all you could remember was your mother's voice echoing in your mind as she puffed a shiny dust in your face, and you shaking hands with the Darkseid himself as he had that disgusting grin on his face. It was after that night that you found out that bitch had manipulated you into joining the bad guys, well who wouldn't want to have a version of Superman in their league that wasn't vulnerable to kryptonite? At first, you tried to pretend that you did want to hurt people just for the fun of it, in your mind, you were taking revenge on your father, who looked devastated whenever you had joint missions with your new teammates.
Well, you couldn't deny that the sheer rush of dopamine you felt was great, no rules were there to hold you back, just destroy and enjoy, the loot was lucrative as well. But, still, something in the back of your mind nagged and you couldn't overlook that you hated hurting vulnerable people and you couldn't do it anymore, so at a very crucial mission, you ended up killing all of your teammates before fleeing. You gave your mother a good beating up before you dropped her on the Arkham's doors and then vanished into an abandoned base until things became normal. After that your way of life became of an anti-hero, you didn't want to admit it but annoying the heroes was fun, at least you weren't killing vulnerable people. You did what they couldn't do, you fought without rules and the results were more drastic.
But you wanted to roast your father more, you wanted to make him burn, and what was better than exposing him? "As for Superman, he at least has killed more than 100 people in his missions, the government has already covered that up but I have the proof...flash has caused a climate change that ended up ruining agriculture of the whole world for a year, resulting in famines, Aquaman has sunk a few ships, that were NOT of military-related, killing civilians, also, Wonder woman has kidnapped a few people...and so on and so forth." You started warming up, mentioning more and more of what you knew.
The reporter took note as you spoke, and you were liking the role of the one exposing the hidden secrets of the heroes. You were actually enjoying it too much, so much in fact that your super-human sense didn't detect the flight of Superman and Superboy coming to your location at a bullet-like speed. And within seconds they both crashed into the warehouse Kool-Aid style, making a huge impact.
You were quick to react, using your laser eyes to attack Super Boy, but Conner was quick to dodge, Clark quickly pulled the reporter out of the range of the fight and out of sight, he let Bruc take care of the reporter and his evidence later, now he had you, his troubling child that was now entering dangerous waters. Conner and you fought, trashing the warehouse even further, you didn't know why but Conner's grin was getting on your nerves already.
The two supers had a plan of taking you down, and it was going pretty smoothly, going just as planned, you grew to angry and Conner used it to his advantage, pinning you down by a broken pillar, giving Clark enough time so he could throw the pollen towards you, damn it! How the hell they had gotten their hands on the special pollen that your mother had created just for controlling you?! You tried to not breathe, but the bitter taste of it already had formed in your mouth, making your mind go foggy. Damn it! Damn it!!!!!!
"We need to talk..." Clark's voice echoed in your mind, your vision was so distorted that you could only see the silhouette of your father approaching you "And we need to talk properly!" His voice made your heart skip...uh oh...Clark was serious.
#yandere#yandere batman#yandere dc#yandere x reader#yandere super family#yandere super boy#yandere superboy#yandere superman#yandere clark kent#yandere conner kent#yandere supergirl#yandere superfam#yandere superfam x reader#yandere x neglected reader
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
one sentence(ish) summaries of every magnus archive episode PART 2
(eps 61-110) thank u for the funny comments and tags on the last part i love u guys
the rest of these may take a while as i've caught up to where i am currently in the podcast but i will finish them like in a month i promise
----
61. the thrilling sequel to man does not open coffin: man DOES open coffin.
62. surely this doctor can find an easier way to scam people out of money than putting them in a little book.
63. THE DARK ATE MY BROTHER IN LAW.
64. this is possibly the plot of laura croft tomb raider
65. mmm crumchy
66. what's the opposite of an unboxing video
67. as close to a coffeeshop au as you're going to get from this podcast
68. Doctors hate him! Man REFUSES to die from tuberculosis!
69. your college's psych department has the worst idea ever.
70. reverse death note
71. not even death will stop this woman from taking the british subway
72. man doesn't want to be low key racist in his last moments before getting eaten
73. police versus the second coming of dark jesus
74. lady is haunted by an ad for coffee
75. mike crew says "uh fuck it let's just put this guy on a skyscraper forever"
76. ryan from buzzfeed unsolved breaks into a train yard and suffers consequences
77. you're not a enough of a bitch to be my real mom
78. man gets harassed by his cousin and then exorcises him
79. you know that chase scene in scooby doo with the doors
youtube
80. stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner
81. i have been personally victimized by the sequel to the hungry hungry caterpillar
82. pov: elias threatens to cancel you
83. mannequin takes matters into its own hands after people don't like its pitch for a new window display
84. a hoarder put newspaper on my friend's face :(
85. hey there's maybe a little man upon these stairs?
86. man gets got by a squiggly thing in the dark.
87. plumber is so oblivious to spooky happenings around him that it possibly saves his life.
88. guys i think this guy likes to dig
89. lesbian investment banker finds a new, less evil job: arson!
90. guy who turns people's bones starts a gym where he promises not to turn your bones! (he is lying)
91. i was stalked by lightning for 10 years and i all i got were these stupid scars
92. jonah magnus is a bad friend // another day another elias slay
93. ocd is no match for purple fuzz
94. let the bodies drop gently to the floor let the bodies drop gently to the floor
95. im so sorry my brain refuses to remember what the war ones were about but i think one guy got gently kissed on the forehead so that's pretty nice.
96. diversity wins! the not-quite-human delivery men who stole your identity and business are maybe gay?
97. man gets gaslighted by an entire town about a hole
98. 🎶mister sandman bring me a dream, actually don't, please stay far from me 🎶
99. another one bites the dust
100. archival assistants face off against the general public (they lose)
101. jon finally levels up high enough to unlock an eldritch horror's tragic backstory
102. LOCAL MAN MARRIES BUG
103. peppa eats a clown and they cover her in concrete instead of congratulating her.
104. pennywise stole my brother's skin
105. it's world war z baby
106. Something Big Is In Space.
107. man is interrogated about the time he saw thomas the train roasts people alive and also sans is there
108. actor is stalked by mask who liked his monologue so much that it tells its mask friends to come watch.
109. sometimes a family is just a serial killer's daughter and that guy who maybe killed some vampires
110. yeah man those spiders be eating
Part 1 |
#tma#i hope this convinces you to listen to tma#the magnus archives#sasha james#jon sims#podcasts#gay podcasts#elias bouchard#peter lukas#melanie king#gerard keay#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#funny#one sentence summaries#sillyposting#Youtube#queer
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Ahhhh!! I love your stuff, you're so talented !!!
Could you write a Marshall x bookworm!female!reader oneshot abt reader always just having her head in books and Marshall wanting some attention please??
Thank youuu xx
More than me ?
Eminem X Bookworm!Female!Reader
Author’s Note : Hey ❤️. Thank you so much for your request ! I had some fun writing it ☺️. I hope you enjoy it !
No one expected a bookworm like you to end up with a rapper. On paper, it didn’t make much sense and yet, everyone around you agreed that Marshall was the perfect match for you. The two of you were somewhat nerdy, introverts who’d rather spend time in your house than go to a party with tons of people. And even if he didn’t read a ton of books, he made up for it by fully supporting your passion for literature. When you moved into his house, he let you transform one of the guest rooms into a library and he often surprised you with books on your wishlist. On special occasions, he would go the extra mile and gift you beautiful editions, sometimes first ones, much to your delight. And even though he politely refused your many offers to let him borrow some books, he was always happy to let you talk his ear off about books you liked.
- You should really read it, you said excitedly.
- Yeah but if I read it, there would be no point in you telling me about it, he said with a grin. I’d miss the best part.
- Sorry, you giggled. Is that too much ?
- Never, he said before pressing a kiss to your temple. I love that you’re passionate. I like listening to you. It’s like a podcast.
- You know, Shelly at the library keeps telling me to start one, you chuckled.
- Maybe you should give it a try, he replied. No one talks about books like you.
- Maybe I’ll ask Hailie for pointers, you shrugged.
This was the start of a crazy adventure for you. A year later, you were able to quit your job, relying on your podcast and advertisement to make a comfortable living. Advertisers were constantly soliciting you, willing to take advantage of your massive following. You had managed to gather a big community of bookworms such as yourself, who enjoyed hearing about your latest reads. It was your safe space and you simply loved it. Another perk was that publishing houses sent you tons of books for free, hoping you’d talk about them in an episode. Marshall’s house was big but you now had books in every room and always more books you needed to read. Your boyfriend was already used to always seeing you with a book but now, you had more time to read and were doing this full time. It wasn’t always sunshine and candy, though and, sometimes, you were on a schedule to finish reviewing a book before recording your next episode. At some point, you had decided to review a whole series that had been sent to you a week ago, and reading those eight books definitely took most of your time.
- Are you coming to bed ? Marshall asked.
- I have to read a couple more chapters, you said apologetically. Sorry, my love.
- You’ve spent the whole day reading, babe, he pointed out. How about you rest your eyes a little ? I could make them roll back into your skull…
- Are you propositioning me ? You asked with a grin.
- Absolutely, he replied with a smile. What do you think ?
- That’s tempting, you admitted.
Before you had even finished your sentence, he was grabbing your book, placing your bookmark, closing it and taking you to the bedroom. As soon as you reached the bed, he pinned you to the mattress and whispered in your ear.
- Been waiting for this all day, he said.
- All day ? You giggled. You were at work…
- And yet, you were the only thing on my mind, he grinned. Couldn’t think of anything else.
He made sure to show you exactly what had been on his mind, ravishing you in all sorts of positions, making you cry from pleasure, until you were both panting and exhausted.
- I love you, he said as he caught his breath. God, I missed you this week.
- I missed you too, you cooed. You’ve been working so hard, lately.
- So have you, he pointed out.
- I have to keep busy while you’re finishing your album, don’t I ? You giggled.
- Well, you have me to yourself for the next two days, he said. Told the team not to bother me unless someone dies. I’m all yours. And we’re not leaving this room.
- Interesting, you giggled. I have some work, though.
- You can read chapters in between rounds, he shrugged before burying his head in your neck.
You smiled and enjoyed his touch, the warmth of his breath on your skin. You ran your hands in his back and stroked his head. Moments later, he was asleep. His soft snores brought a smile to your face and you figured he needed the rest. Lately, he had been waking up extra early and coming home later than usual, occasionally going to California to work with Dre. You gently made him roll to his side of the bed and wrapped yourself in your silk robe before going back to your reading room and resuming your reading. Hours later, a grumpy boyfriend came to get you.
- You left, he groaned sleepily.
- You were sleeping, you said with a smile.
- Well, not anymore, he said. Come back ?
- I just have to finish this-
- Later, woman, he groaned.
- Ten minutes, you pleaded.
- Babe, he sighed. It’s 11PM.
- Yeah but-
- I need you, he said with puppy eyes. You don’t want me to get all lonely in bed, now, do you ?
You smiled at him, yet made a point of shaking your head in disapproval. He knew full well his lost puppy act would get him anywhere with you. You closed your book and went back to the bedroom. As soon as you got back in bed, he wrapped you in his arms, in a possessive stance. You chuckled and whispered sweet nothings before drifting off to sleep.
You woke up the next day to the sound of Marshall entering the room with a breakfast tray in his hands.
- Breakfast in bed ? You yawned with a smile. What’s the occasion.
- I thought we might enjoy a lazy day in bed, he said with a smile. You, me, food and movies ?
- Sounds good, you nodded.
He settled in bed next to you and you ate the copious amount of food he had prepared. You spent a few hours in each other’s arms, watching movies and cuddling. Marshall seemed exceptionally clingy, which made you smile. Physical touch had always been one of his love languages, but it was rare for him to spend hours on end cuddling. After a while, though, you decided to get back to reading. However, you didn’t find your book where you had left it.
- Babe, have you seen the book I had yesterday ? You asked. It’s blue, with flowers on the cover.
- I haven’t, he shrugged. Come here, you’ll find it later.
- I really have to finish, you said. I’ll go and search…
- Babe, he groaned, can’t we just have a few hours together ? I’ll help you search for it. Later.
- Ok, you shrugged. But it’s important.
He sighed and gestured for you to come back in his arms. He didn’t pay a lot of attention to the movie, though, and just enjoyed your presence until he fell asleep. Or so you thought. Because as soon as you moved, he let out a grunt.
- What ? He asked.
- Just going to search for my-, you began.
- Screw it, he groaned. Here’s your damn book.
He reached for his nightstand and handed it to you. You looked at him in disbelief.
- You realized I’ve searched for it for half an hour ? You asked.
- Yeah well here it it, he groaned.
- Why did you take it ?
- Because I want you to be with me, he sighed. It’s all about your books, these days.
- I’m working, you said defensively. It’s my passion !
- Yeah well why don’t you move into your reading room then ? He suggested. You like these books more than me anyway.
You sighed and then put the book down before taking his hand.
- What’s with you today ? You asked.
- Nothing, he shrugged with a frown.
- Marsh, you said tentatively. You’re short-tempered and clingy. Clearly, something’s wrong.
- I miss you, he sighed. That’s all.
- I’m right here, you pointed out. I even work from home. I’m literally always here.
- I like that you’re having fun but… you work too much, he said.
- I do work a lot, but it’s because I want to be successful, you said. And you’re one to talk. You’re a literal workaholic.
- Yeah well I’m tired of all this work and I want to hug my girl, he said. I’m stressed out and I need you.
You smiled and kissed his cheek before putting your book away.
- You know you could just have told me you needed me, right ?
- I guess, he said grumpily. I guess I didn’t want to sound like a total simp.
- I like it, you said. It’s cute.
- So you’re staying, this time ? He asked.
- Of course, babe, you replied. If you need me, that’s my priority. But… is there something wrong ?
- Nothing, he said. I guess I’m just under pressure. I just need you. You’re my safe space. I miss you, lately. And now that you have this shit ton of followers, you don’t even tell me about your books. I miss that too.
You nodded and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
- I’m sorry, my love, you said. I just got really into all of it. But you’re my priority, you know ?
- Am I ? He asked.
- Of course, you replied.
- I love you, he said. Sorry I stole your book.
- Next time you try that, I’m messing up with your cassette wall, you threatened.
- You wouldn’t ! He gasped.
- Try me, you said with a raised eyebrow. Who knows ? Maybe all of them are in the wrong case. Maybe I’ve already done it.
He looked at you nervously and you gave him a threatening smirk. Knowing how much he cherished that cassette collection it was enough of a threat and a sure fire way to mess with his head. He groaned and got up.
- Where are you going ? You asked.
- To check my cassettes, he said.
- What ? You asked in a falsely offended voice. If you go, it means you love them more than me !
- Babe… of course I love them more, he said with a grin. Know your place, woman !
Note : I hope you enjoyed this one shot ❤️. If you did, you can support my writing via Ko-Fi ! I will also be giving previews of upcoming parts of Recovery and Love Game over there 😏.
#eminem#marshall mathers#slim shady#eminem fanfiction#eminem x reader#eminem fluff#eminem imagine#marshall mathers x reader#marshall mathers imagine
312 notes
·
View notes
Text
Locked In (1) | Joe Burrow
Joe Burrow x Singer!Reader
Exboyfriend!joshallen x Exgirlfriend!reader
•••
Being in the spotlight isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Yeah, there’s glitz and glamour and getting to live out your dream you’ve had since you were a little girl, but deep down you’re still human, with normal human emotions. Emotions that are completely normal, even when people tell you to never show them. You honestly were doing so well considering the circumstances you were left with. A completely shattered heart, an album that had just dropped (full of love songs written about the person that shattered your heart), and a sold out stadium tour that would take place over the entire summer. You were thriving. Slowly but surely, your heart mended itself back together every time you took the stage. Nothing could stand in your way.
Then football season rolled around and people started noticing that you weren’t in your normal spot, in a suite at Highmark Stadium. Supporting the man you believed you would spend the rest of your life with. Even had the ring to prove it. But it all came crashing down the night you walked in on him in bed with his ex from college. It absolutely crushed you. Especially because Josh Allen seemed like the perfect guy. He treated you well, showed you off in public, spoke about you in post-game interviews, the whole nine yards. You never would have saw this coming in a million years. But it did, and it felt like the worst day of your life.
Pre season wasn’t too bad, people just assumed you were busy. Then week one came and you still weren’t there, and people started to question things. Headlines quickly made their way into the world, it was mentioned in sports news all over the country, and you and Josh had started to trend on Twitter. It was all mixed feelings. Mostly just men that were happy to see you go, the women tearing Josh down, and some fans that were devastated about the split. You never commented on the topic. You figured you’d let it die down, and at some point it would be addressed in a normal adult way.
Josh had other plans.
He’d gone on a podcast for barstool sports, and when asked about the topic he didn’t shy away from lying to the entire world. “We both have pretty busy lives. She was going to be starting her tour and didn’t really have a lot of time on her hands. There’d be times where she’d go days without reaching out to me. I just couldn’t live that way anymore”
You were dumbfounded. Completely and utterly baffled. “Brittany and I reconnected last season when we played the Chiefs. It had been such a long time since I’d seen her. We kept in touch. But assure you, there was no crossover. I’d never even think about cheating on a woman”
Blow number two. The cheating had went on far longer than you’d realized, and right under your nose. You were too busy catching up with Taylor Swift in the suite to notice that your fiancé met up with his ex. “I think I’m the happiest I’ve been in a while. I can’t speak for Y/N but I can honestly say for myself that I checked out of that relationship a year before it ended. I could not physically live that way anymore”
You couldn’t watch anymore. You powered your phone off and threw it to the end of your couch. Tears streaming down your face, your heart feeling like it shattered all over again. He’d just proposed to you in July of last year, the two of you started planning your wedding for the off season. It was all a lie.
You thought about retaliating. Putting him on blast the same way he did you, but that wouldn’t make you feel better. At this point, you weren’t sure what would make you feel better, but you knew you couldn’t be sad over him anymore. You needed to pick yourself back up.
•••
2 days later
You laughed hysterically as you threw your head back. When you realized your management team wasn’t laughing with you, you slowly stopped laughing. “Oh you guys are serious?” You question, dumbfounded. “Absolutely not. I’m not stepping foot into another football game for the rest of my life” you say firmly. “Y/N, it’s just to sing the national anthem, and then you can leave. You don’t have to stay for the entire game” your manager, Ryan, tells you with hope in his voice.
“And what reason am I going to give the media for leaving? That I was a heartbroken little child so I couldn’t stay? That’ll do more harm than good and you know it” you rant, letting out a sigh. “I don’t have a choice, do I?” You question, and put your head down when Ryan makes a face.
“It’s out of my hands. The record label won’t produce your album if you say no”
“When and where?” You say, reluctantly. “Sunday, October 6th, and in Cincinnati. This is the first AFC North divisional. There will be a lot of viewers and attendees already but you singing the national anthem would raise those numbers. The NFL is paying you very well to do this, plus you have a private suite with your name on it if you would like to stay,” Ryan explains, not tearing his eyes from you. He knew how hard this would be for you. He hated even having to ask you to do this.
“I’ll be there. But only because the future of my album rides on this. The NFL literally makes me sick to my stomach right now” you rant, rolling your eyes. “You can’t let one guy deter you from your passion of football. You loved football even before he who shall not be named. Besides, I will be there the entire time, and so will Megan. Megan is kick ass at what she does. All this Voldemort nonsense is gonna be put behind us. Clean slate, Y/N/N” Ryan assures you, and you crack a smile. “Voldemort?” You question.
“Oh yeah, he sucks. He’s lucky you’re giving him the grace that you are, and that you held me back from beating his ass that night” Ryan rants, and you laugh. Grateful that not only is he your manager, but one of your best friends. “But seriously, I’ll be there, next to you the entire day. And a little birdie told me you have some fans on the Bengals. Who knows, you may find a hotter guy that’ll be an upgrade from shit-for-brains” Ryan teases, and you scoff.
“I doubt it. I’ve sworn off athletes. Especially ones that play professional football”
“You say that now,” Ryan winks as he leaves the room, and you roll your eyes, yet again.
•••
Sunday October 6th, 2024
You heard the whispers as you walked past people. The judgmental comments about you neglecting your relationship, how you were the reason for its demise. The awful things people were saying about you, and screaming at you, almost made you want to crawl into a hole and never come out. The worst ones, were the looks of sympathy you got from the women in the stadium. You knew you shouldn’t have agreed to this.
“Ryan, I don’t know if I can do this. They all hate me” you stress, and he’s already shaking his head at you. “They don’t hate you-“
“Slut!”
“Seriously?” You say, with a flat tone. “Okay, so some macho men are just mad that you’re here. Who cares? Y/N, your career is literally riding on this”
“I can get a new label” you retort and Ryan sighs. “Y/N, you got this. You’ve literally dealt with so much worse than this-“
“Y/N, you’re on in 10” an NFL official says, walking past the two of you. You feel like your throat is closing up. There’s a lump that wouldn’t go away. In all the years you’ve been performing for big crowds, this one had you nervous. “Josh turned me into a social pariah when it comes to the NFL. He literally blamed me for everything, Ryan. I shouldn’t be here” you rant, tears brimming your eyes. “You absolutely deserve to be here. And for what it’s worth, I wouldn’t have been upset if you spoke your truth. Damage control is my job, let me worry about that. You just go out there and sing your heart out” another voice chimes in, and you turn your head to see Megan, your publicist.
“It’s time,” Ryan says. “Y/N, keep your head held high. You can do this. I’ll be right over on the Bengals sideline waiting for you to finish” Ryan assures you, as the three of you walk toward the opening to the field. Here goes nothing.
•••
After The Game
You should’ve known that staying at the game would mean Ryan would convince you to go to the after party. Although the game ended in a Ravens win, the team still seemed to be in good spirits. A lot of them were actually a lot of fun to be around. You were originally invited by Ja’Marr Chase, who made a point to come up to the suite and invite you personally. Letting you know that he and a few other guys were big fans, though part of you thinks he was just being nice.
You came in and conversed with him and a few other guys before making your way to the bar, then to an empty booth in the corner of the room. Ryan was mingling with some of the coaches and Megan decided not to attend the party, so you were pretty much left to your own devices. You nursed your dirty shirley as you scrolled through twitter. A lump forming in your throat at the harsh things being said about you.
“You really shouldn’t look at that stuff. I’ve learned that the hard way”
Your head snapped up at the sound of the unfamiliar voice, as the couch dipped next to you. “I hope this seat isn’t taken, though you’ve been sitting by yourself for the last half hour. Not that I was watching like a creep. I promise. I just got tired of standing at the bar” the deep voice rambled. “You’re okay. The seats not taken” you say, a small smile gracing your features.
“I’m just not very popular at the moment” you admit, taking another sip of your drink. “You played really well today, by the way. If you ask me, the Bengals had that in the bag” you say, changing the subject and he scoffs. “Always room for improvement,” he says, sipping his drink. “I’m Joe, by the way” he says, extending his hand to you.
“Y/N,”
“And since we’re voicing opinions, you didn’t deserve to be dragged down in the media. I’m not sure what actually happened, and by no means am I asking you to tell me, but I think it should have stayed private. Josh seemed like a nice guy, but that was a low blow” Joe says, not looking at you, as he yet again sips his drink. You frowned at the mention of Josh, and sank back against the couch. “Thanks, I guess,” you mutter, bringing your glass up to your lips. Joe looks over at you, and mentally face-palms.
“I’m so sorry. I overstepped. I shouldn’t have commented on something I know nothing about,” he says, a sense of urgency in his tone. “I literally came over here with liquid courage, with the intention of getting to know you and I fucked it up by bringing up your ex. I’m such an idiot” Joe rants, leaning back against the couch. You look over at him, a strange feeling in your stomach.
“Joe, it’s okay. You were trying to make conversation-“
“But I could’ve asked like what your favorite color is, not brought up your ex” Joe says, internally beating himself up. “It’s yellow” you answer, and he looks over at you confused. “My favorite color is yellow” you say, and he smiles. “Let’s start over. I’m Y/N Y/L/N,” you say, extending your hand with a smile.
“I’m Joe Burrow. It’s nice to meet you, Y/N”
274 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Prince
(Alastor x prince of hell!reader)
"HOLLLLYYY FUCKING SHIT (Y/N) (Y/N) (Y/N) GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER WE ARE VISITING CHARLIEEEE" yelled your dad while bursting into your room.
You looked up at your dad startled.
"Thats great, but why are you yelling?" You asked while raising your eyebrow.
"BECAUSE WE ARE GOING NOW COME OOONNN" he continued yelling while taking your hand and dragging you out of your room and off you guys were to the Hazbin Hotel.
When you arrived your dad almost run in before you told him to tone it down he is still the king of hell who has to keep up a certain image.
This was your relationship in a nutshell. You were not at all like your father and older sister. You were calm and collected and were there to calm them down. And why you stuck with your dad? Because he was broken after your mother left and you kind of got stuck being his mental support.
You never blamed Charlie for leaving you had the chance you do that as well but you decided to stay.
Your dad entered the hotel and immediately hugged Charlie. You just calmly walked in after him.
"OOOHHHHHH YOU BROUGHT (Y/N)" yelled Charlie as well excitedly and gave you the same bone crushing hug your dad gave her earlier.
"Yeah...'m here...sis....cant...breathe" you tried to get a sentence out.
"OH yeah of course sorry"
"Its fine Im happy to see you Charlie" you smiled at her while dusting your button up shirt.
After this encounter Charlie introduced you to the rest of the residents including her girlfriend, who you were delighted to meat since Charlie always rented about her when you guys would talk.
But of course your dad managed to make that encounter awkward as well to which you just sighed a little.
Unbeknownst to you a certain radio demon had his eyes on you from the moment you entered. It was one thing that your attire was something he himself would wear and it suited your figure perfectly, quite old fashioned just like he liked it, but when he saw that seemingly you were the distinguished one in the family you have won his interest.
The way you held yourself with a straight back chin up, truly befitting a prince. He noticed that you seem to either calm down or hint to your father on how to act. It was a sight to behold for sure.
"And this here-" started Charlie nearing the stairs where Alastor appeared. "-oh, this is Alastor our beloved building manager"
"Its a pleasure to meet you sir quite the pleasure" said Alastor while shaking Lucifers hand and wiping it in his coat after.
Not paying a second more of his attention on your father he looked immediately to you.
"And this magnificent creature is the prince of hell himself I'm sure" he said while taking your hand and softly kissing your knuckles.
Your face got a bit read while he straightened back up eye contact never leaving.
"I am, it is a pleasure to meet you sir, I quite enjoy your radio podcast" you managed to get out after re-gaining your composure.
What you said was true, though. You enjoyed his brodcast, his voice, and interestingly enough your taste in music was similar, the jazz part at least.
Alastors eyes lit up at that.
"Indeed? Well I'm honored the prince of hell himself enjoys what I do, and please do call me Alastor." he smiled at you and took one of your hands in both of his while you guys just stared at each other.
"Should we do something ooor...?" Whispered angel to Husk.
However the cat was to stunned to speak. He has never seen Alastor act like this with anyone before. The radio demon was literally flirting with the prince of hell.
"WOOOOWWW ooookkkkk nononono lemme just...squeeze in here" said your father while standing between you and Alastor which was almost impossible thats how close you two stood to each other but he managed.
"If you don't mind I believe my daughter was about to show us the hotel so see ya later" said your dad hastily while pushing you away from the overlord.
"Oh, no, we built the hotel together we should show it together, right Charlie?" Grinned Alastor at the princesse
"...Ok"
"I wouldn't mind at all to show the lovely little prince around" he smiled at you and offered you his arm which you gladly took.
All this while Lucifer was glaring daggers at Alastors back as you two walked off chatting happily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WOOOOOOWWWW LOOK AT ME POSTING AGAIN YEAAHHHHH WHAT CAN I SAY I HAVE A PROBLEM
And you bitches too I literally uploaded my Hazbin Hotel posts minutes ago and yall are eating it up already.
I mean ofc thank you sm for all the love (🥹🧡) but DAMN yall good? Anyone need a therapist?
Haha, just kidding...we all do.
ANYWAAAYSSS
I HAVE SOOO MANY MORE IDEAS AND I CANT WAIT TO WRITE THEM AND SHARE THEM WITH YOU GUYS.
I'm also thinking about writing a pt.2 for this so lemme know if yall would be interested😎
I hope you enjoyed your reading ladies, gentleman and others, good afternoon good evening and goodnight🧡🦖
718 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐊𝐈𝐃
madeleine chase x will smith
will goes on a podcast and reveals to the world his gushing crush on pop star, madeleine chase (wc; 1.11k)
༉‧₊˚. ꒰ notes! ꒱ this is lowkey inspired by how tate mcrae and cole sillinger first got together + what will said in a podcast about tate mcrae (literally every man is obsessed with her and so am i)
au masterlist
It had been about a week since Will had moved to San Jose and he was… settling. California was very different from Massachusetts and everything was new. From the weather to the people, everything was unfamiliar to Will. His teammates — another new thing Will was getting used to — had been nothing but welcoming. They had been showing him around the area and making sure he was settling in well—especially the Marleau family who were taking him in for his first year in San Jose.
He appreciated their efforts, even though the move was still overwhelming at times. The sunny, warm weather of California was a stark contrast to the often chilly and unpredictable climate of Massachusetts, and it was both a blessing and a challenge to adapt to. The culture here was more laid-back, and people seemed to carry an air of casualness that Will wasn’t entirely accustomed to.
In the midst of all these changes, he was dealing with the start of the hockey season, which brought on a lot of commitments. Despite today being a rest day from all of the beginning of the season media, Will was sitting in the Empty Netters podcast studio. Will had met Dan and Chris, the two hosts, a while back, promising them he’d come on when he got signed by the Sharks. Months later, Will was fulfilling his promise.
“Alright, Will, welcome to the Empty Netters pod! Glad to have you here,” said Chris.
“Thank you for having me,” Will said, smiling politely.
“So, you've been in San Jose for what—about two weeks? How’s the transition going? It’s gotta be a change from Massachusetts." Dan asked.
Will nodded, leaning into the mic a bit. “Yeah, about that but it feels like longer with everything going on. It’s been go, go, go since I got here but California’s great. And everyone’s been super welcoming, especially the Marleau family. They’ve really helped me get settled.”
Dan grinned. “Yeah, you got blessed with your living situation for your first year. I mean Patrick Marleau is a legend.”
“Not bad at all,” Will chuckled, relaxing a little. “They’ve been great. Showing me around, and introducing me to some good spots to eat. I’m trying to figure out the whole California lifestyle.”
The conversation flowed easily as they touched on his early career, what he was looking forward to with the Sharks and a few lighter topics.
“Okay, Will, to end this interview we just want to do some rapid-fire questions, alright? So these are just random.” Chris asked.
“Yeah, ok, sounds good,” Will replied.
“Great, first question,” Chris said, glancing at his notes. “What's your favorite movie?”
Will thought for a moment, debating between the movies he loved. “I'd have to say 'Good Will Hunting'. It's a classic and, well, it's set in Boston. Reminds me of home.”
Both Dan and Chris nodded appreciatively. “Nice choice,” Dan answered. “Alright, next up: what's your go-to comfort food?”
“Probably a good lobster roll,” Will replied instantly. “It's practically a staple back home.”
“A lobster roll from Cape Cod sounds fucking delicious.” Chris agreed.
“Alright, final question,” Dan says. “Who is your celebrity crush?”
“Madeleine Chase,” Will says without hesitation.
Both Dan and Chris burst into laughter at Will’s quick answer, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink as he realizes his eagerness. “Damn, you were ready for that question,” Chris says through laughter. “Can you expand on why she is your celebrity crush?”
Will chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I mean, first of all, she’s gorgeous. I keep seeing photos of her performing for Taylor Swift in Europe and… whew.” Will answers, getting another chorus of laughter from the podcast hosts. “But also there’s something about her vibe. She seems really down-to-earth and genuine. I’ve seen her in interviews and she’s got a great sense of humor.”
Dan grinned. “Sounds like you’ve thought about this a lot.”
“Yeah, maybe a bit,” Will admitted, laughing. “But, you know, it’s hard not to admire someone like that. She’s got the whole package.”
“Quick, favorite song of hers?” Chris asked.
Will didn’t have to think much before answering. “Close To You. It’s just such a fun song to listen to.”
“If you have a message for Madeleine that we might be able to get to her at some point, what would it be?” Dan asked.
Will chuckled, questioning if he really wanted to it all out bare on this podcast. “Answer my DM,” he said, confidence lacing his tone.
“No way you’ve DM’ed her.” Chris laughed.
Will simply shrugged, laughing along with the two brothers. Dan leaned in with mock seriousness. "Alright, Sharks fans, you heard it here first—Will Smith’s got game both on and off the ice."
As the podcast wrapped up, Will thanked Chris and Dan, and they walked him out. His agent was waiting, jumping straight into talking about his schedule, but Will wasn't really listening. He was still stuck replaying the last part of the interview in his head.
Did I really just say that? His mind replayed the last part of the interview—talking about Madeleine Chase with no filter, like some lovestruck kid. He cringed inwardly, imagining how it must have sounded to anyone listening. He could already hear the ribbing from his teammates once this went live, and he cringed. His agent's voice was just white noise now as Will’s thoughts spiraled, imagining the potential fallout.
Answer my DM. The words bounced around his head like an unwelcome reminder of how he’d opened himself up for a joke. What if she actually did hear it? He wasn’t sure what compelled him to be so bold, especially considering they didn’t know each other. Will had always been reserved, especially in public settings, and now he felt like he'd let his guard down too much.
“Will? You listening?” his agent said, snapping him out of his daze.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m here,” Will replied quickly, though he wasn’t. He pulled out his phone, hovering over the podcast's social media page. Maybe I can ask them to cut that part out… no, that’s ridiculous. It’s too late. He forced himself to put his phone away, trying to focus on anything else but the possibility of his comment blowing up online.
Will sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to shake off the doubt. Maybe it wasn’t that bad. They laughed, so it couldn’t have been too cringey… right?
Still, the uncertainty weighed on him. California was supposed to be a fresh start, but at that moment, Will couldn’t help but feel like he’d already stumbled out of the gate.
134 notes
·
View notes
Note
hamzah missing you on vacation
talk to me - hamzahthefantastic x reader
—————————————
contains: fluff, smut, reader is female, you read the rest and find out
word count: no clue rn but its short
story below the cut
hamzah: hi baby sorry i haven’t been texting n stuff i’ve been busy with martin and mandy yk but i love you sm and i miss you
you: i understand completely :) have fun and dw about me ily too
hamzah: i just got back to my room, u wanna call?
you: ofcc
—————————————
hamzah had gone on vacation to curaçao to relax and film videos for youtube and the podcast. he had brought the trip up to you, asking if you wanted to go. unfortunately, you had work and couldn’t take time off because this was one of their busiest months. you were both obviously disappointed, but he understood and you wanted him to go without you and have fun filming. (#securerelationships) when he got off the plane, that was the moment you realised that it was going to be difficult with extra work and no boyfriend, but you were managing so far. however, today you just got home and boy were you exhausted.
your phone went off as soon as you had sent him the last text. you wait 10 seconds before answering it. “hellooo?” you hear hamzah say. “heyy” you reply, matching his energy. “whats up?” “nothingg, i just missed you” this man knows just what to say. “wait facetime me” he says, while the button pops up on the screen. you answer and see someone else with him. “well hello martin” “y/n! how are you?” “i’m good, how has the trip been for you and mandy?” “so good, she loves it. but this guy here is constantly yapping about how much you would love it too.” “aghh, i know, it looks like a lot of fun, much better than what i’m doing haha.” “alright well i’m gonna go back to my room, cya guys.”
martin leaves hamzah’s hotel room to go back to his own. he turns his camera off, but you didn’t think much of it at the time. you can hear fumbling on his end of the phone. “so, tell me about your day.” you think hard, not even remembering what you did, but start giving him a little summary. you hear a zipper while you talk, but continue as he was probably just changing. you hear him release a groan, “hamzah? are you okay?” “yeah i- just wish you were here right now. hearing your voice isn’t enough.” you finally caught on.
“are you… jerking off right now?” his breath hitches a little. “i’m sorry- i just can’t get you out of my head baby. imagining you in a bikini just makes it worse.” he breathes out. your cheeks grow redder, thankful he wasn’t there to see it. the truth is that you needed him badly too. “well, what would you do if i was there?” you ask him in a more lustful tone. he stops palming himself through his boxers, and removes them instead. “i would pull the string from your- top” he starts slowly stroking his dick. you start taking off your oversized shirt, not bothering to wear a bra because you were home alone. “and then, fuck, i would kiss you everywhere and touch your boobs.” you start massaging your breasts, moaning a little. “mhm, and then what?”
he whimpers, barely audible on the phone. “i wish my hand was yours right now baby. i would probably- m’ take off your bikini and fuck you so good.” he groans out while you take off your panties. you insert a finger into your pussy, ”uh shit, hamzah” you moan out, wanting to help him reach his high. his breathing gets heavier, and all you can think about is if he was the one fingering you right now. “you make me so fucking hard babe-“ you push in another finger, rubbing your clit slightly faster. “keep going hamzah” you praise him, making him involuntarily buck his hips into his hand. “i bet your pussy would taste so good right now.” he says, and you stretch yourself more.
“i can’t hold it,” “just let go y/n” that last sentence made you moan loudly and release your orgasm, panting to try to catch your breath. he groans out, cumming on himself, relieved. “i love you so much.” “i love you too” “you’re definitely coming on the next trip no matter what.” you start getting stuff ready to clean yourself up. “i will, and i think im gonna take a shower now baby.”
“mmm, part 2?”
—————————————
thank you for the request im so tired and drained rn but hopefully this will hold you guys off for the next one. ;)
#hamzahthefantastic#hamzah x reader#hamzah x y/n#hamzahsmut#hamzah x reader smut#hamzahfluff#hamzah x reader fluff#hamzah imagines
275 notes
·
View notes
Text
Brewing with Beckie
Janine Beckie x Reader
Summary: You go on the podcast
"Hi, everyone. Welcome back to Brewing with Beckie. Today, we have a very special guest...my girlfriend y/n!"
You popped into the frame with a little smile and a mug. You lifted it to the camera and tipped your head a little in greeting. "Hi!"
A kiss was pressed to your cheek as Beckie shifted closer until your shoulders were pressed together so close that if it wasn't for the different colours of your shirts, nobody would be able to tell where you started and Beckie ended.
"So," Beckie said," This is, of course, my lovely girlfriend. We've got a little tradition on the podcast-"
"I know, baby," You said," I listen to every episode. You want to know what kind of coffee I've got." You swirled it teasingly and Beckie rolled her eyes.
"It's more for the listeners. I know what you've got in there."
"Oh, yeah?" You challenged," What have I got in here?" You snatched it away before she kind sniff at it.
"Hot chocolate," She answered easily," Because you don't like coffee and just yesterday you raved about getting that fancy hot chocolate mixture you've been looking for for weeks now."
You let out a little bark of laughter, tilting your head to rest against Janine's shoulder. "Okay...maybe you know me a bit well."
"That's actually one of the questions I've got. How long have we known each other?"
"Years," You said," We grew up next door." You lifted your mug and took a long sip. "We had rooms that faced each other. Do you remember when we used to try to mime to each other through the windows?"
Janine chuckled with a little nod. "And then we worked out that the locks on the windows were just for show and we could have talked to each other the whole time."
"My mum used to yell at you through that window, when we would keep her up by talking too loudly."
"I think she still blames me for your dip in grades that year."
You took another long sip and batted her hand lightly. "Enough about my mother. What's the next question? You've got quite the extensive list."
You were teasing but you knew that she had been preparing for this episode for a while now. You knew that she was sneakily looking at the piece of paper under the table that she was trying to hide from you.
"Hey!" Janine said," No peeking! That's cheating!"
"It's not a competition, baby! I can't cheat!"
"Next question! Ooh, I like this one! What was the first thing you noticed about me when we started dating?"
"The fact that I can be right next to you and you won't hear a thing but god forbid I make a little comment and you hear it from across the room," You replied drily though kept the little smile on your face.
"This was meant to be a cute question!" Janine complained even though she was laughing.
"What would you have preferred me to say?"
Janine shrugged. "I don't know, my eyes or something?"
"Baby, I noticed your eyes long before we started dating."
That made Janine puff up a little bit before she went back to consulting her list of questions. It went back and forth like normal on her podcast and soon your drink had gone cold and you were practically pressed up into Janine's lap.
Ever since you were little, you had been a physically affectionate person. You like to hold hands with people and be in their personal space. You counted yourself lucky that you had such an accommodating girlfriend who easily opened her arms for you to crawl into at the end of the day.
"I like this one too!"
"Babe, you wrote them. You don't need to try and puff up your own ego."
"This is the last question," Janine said," Can you at least let me have this?"
"Fine," You laughed," Go on. Ask away."
"What's the best memory you have of us together?" She was grinning at you and you kissed the smug look off her face.
"You know the answer."
"The viewers don't."
"Oh? So this is an announcement?"
"Only if you announce something."
You stole another kiss from Janine before flashing your ring at the camera.
"Last night. When you proposed, of course."
412 notes
·
View notes
Note
Imagine going to the streamer awards with Schlatt (you’re not a streamer) and if he wins something then once you all get home he makes you cum as many times as he can as a celebration type thing
celebrate- jschlatt
minors dni
paring: schlatt x fem/afab! reader
warnings: smut {18+}, mentions of overstim, schlatt being a horny mf, overuse of pet names {im sorry}
to be quite honest with you, schlatt didn’t even want to go to the streamies. it wasn’t his scene and he was confident in the fact he wasn’t going to win. what sold him on it was seeing you in a tight dress. he took you shopping that morning, you two decided on wearing purple, the color of royalty as you told him. “makes sense, got my beautiful princess so that makes me a king.”
it was almost time to leave as you were putting the finishing touches on your makeup. “doll, we gotta go.” schlatt held your hand as you slid on your heels and even fixed the buckles for you. the tight sequined dress hugged your curves perfectly, the purple complementing your complexion.
“absolutely stunning.” your boyfriend commented with a wolf whistle. “whaddya say we skip this thing? i could do that thing ya like with my tongue.” he smirked and kissed up your neck. “jay, no. this is a big night for you! we have to go, that’s that.” you pushed the larger man away from you and frantically tried to fix your hair.
the car ride to the venue was so exciting for you. having only been with schlatt a few months, you hadn’t been to a streamers event before. “this is gonna be so fun jay! we’re gonna take pictures and you’re nominated! i think you’re gonna win personally.”
he rolled his eyes at the thought of him winning. “‘m glad you’re excited toots. at least one of us is.” you knew he wasn’t the biggest fan of going out, much rather wanting to spend the night back home in austin with you and jambo instead of being in smoggy old la. “c’mon baby, you’ll have fun trust me.” “i think having you bent over the bed would be more fun but okay.” he muttered under his breath.
you were right of course, sitting at the table with his fellow nominees ted and charlie, he started to loosen up a bit. drinks were flowing, laughs were being had, and schlatt started to ease up. “the nominees for best new podcast are…” ethan nestor started reading out their category. “oooh baby listen up!”
schlatt felt his nerves jump back up, he didn’t care about winning honestly. you were just so excited for him and the guys, he didn’t want to disappoint you.
“and the winners of best new podcast are….” you held schlatts hand tightly with one hand while you bit your nails on the other. “chuckle sandwich!” a camera panned over to your table and the guys all got up to go on stage, right after kissing their dates.
“thank you all so much for this amazing award, i think i speak for all of us when i say we definitely didn’t expect to be nominated let alone win. thank you to the fans for tuning in every week and we hope you keep listening!” ted spoke eloquently, a perfect acceptance speech; short and sweet.
once back at the table, his hand made its way to your thigh. “hey doll, don’tcha think i deserve a winner’s reward when we get back to the hotel?” he whispered in your ear then kissed your neck. his hand rubbed your thigh, inching closer and closer to your core. you squeezed them closer together, attempting to block his hand from his target.
the rest of the event was quite draining. all you could focus on was what schlatt was going to do to you later that evening. finally you got to leave and instead of going to the after party, you faked being sick. “sorry guys, im not feeling so hot. i better sit this one out. jay, you don’t mind not going do you? i feel so bad.” you pleaded with the large man, who knew you were faking it. “yeah guys, let’s do a rain check for next chuckle week. gotta make sure my baby’s feelin’ alright.” schlatt wrapped his jacket around you, and walked you towards his car. “congratulations again guys!”
the drive home was an entirely different vibe, schlatts hand was ghosting against your center, teasing you through your underwear. “couldn’t even wait for me to celebrate with my friends? needed me that badly huh doll?” he smirked at you while his fingers grabbed a hold of your panties and pulled them to the side. “s’fuckin’ wet for me…”
his large digits found their way to your clit, rubbing soft slow circles. “that’s it. atta girl. you looked so pretty tonight sweetheart. wanted to take you into a bathroom and fuck the shit outta ya.” your back arched into the seat at his words. “oh you like that idea don’t you princess? me taking care of this sweet cunt wherever i want it, not caring who sees me with what’s mine.”
his fingers speed up, causing you to grip tighter on the center console, “fuck jay, don’t stop. ‘m gonna cum.” “that’s right, cum for daddy.”
the car stopped moving, pulling into the hotel’s lot where schlatt waited until your orgasm subsided to help you out and into the room. once there, he tossed you onto the bed. “i believe i was promised the thing i like?” you smirked up at him.
dropping down to his knees and taking the headband out of his hair, he pulled you closer to the edge. “i’m a man of my word doll. but i’m gonna make you cum so many times you’re gonna cry.”
and once again, schlatt was a man of his word.
#jschlatt x reader#jschlatt imagine#jschlatt smut#jschlatt headcanons#jschlatt fluff#jschlatt#jschlatt hcs#chuckle sandwich imagine#mcyt imagine
792 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm not scared! Colby Brock x MotoGPDriver! Reader Part 5
Plot: You made a tweet about Sam and Colby and were in a podcast and they brought up Sam and Colby where you talked about the paranormal and how it doesn't really scare you because you drive motorcycles at over 200mph.
Credit to misscalliopecruz for the GIF
Eventually the tour guides, medium and caretaker all left off site and you guys watched them leave to confirm it.
"So what are we doing first, flashlights, rem-pod, spirit box!" you ask excitedly. Both the boys laughing at how excited you were getting.
"We can just start with the REM and EMF reader in this room, then maybe whip out the Ovulis?" Sam suggests.
"That sounds good!" you smile.
The boys start to set up while you look around at all of the pictures.
"Hi!" you hear next to you, it almost sounded like Colby or Sam doing a really high pitched girlie voice in your ear. You turn round to talk to whoever had come over to you, only to find you were alone and Sam and Colby were crouched down getting the equipment out.
"Did you guys just say something..." you ask slowly walking over to them. They both looked up confused and could see you were just as confused.
"No, we've both been here getting the equipment out" Colby says standing up.
"Did you hear something?" Sam asks and you nod.
"Yeah it was like one of you were doing a really high pitched girl voice that said Hi ... like right in my ear. I thought one of you were behind me!" you explained and they started to record to explain what had just happened to you.
"Okay, we have the REM pod here in the middle of this large dining room table. Y/N is holding the EMF reading and the Ovulis next to Colby... so lets start our dining room investigation!" Sam says clapping his hands.
Just as he did the clap the EMF Reader in your hand spiked once and turned back off.
"Woah, did that just spike to red?" Colby asks looking over your shoulder and you nod.
"If whoever did that can do that again that would be amazing!" you ask and it immediately went off again.
"Woah, that's incre-" Sam starts to say, but the REM-pod started to go off.
"WOAH!" both the boys yell as Sam pans the camera to where the REM-pod is going off.
"Does that mean we are with more than one?" you ask and the EMF-reader goes off making you grin.
"I think we are here with Bianca and Drake guys" you smile looking around the room, it feels a little colder but not in a malicious way.
"I think you are right, lets get the Ovulis on and we can start to ask them some questions!" Sam directs as Colby nods and turns on the black yes or no box.
"Okay, Y/N do you want to ask first. They seem to like you the most!" Colby asks.
"Erm, Hi hello! We don't come here with any ill intentions and we just want to here you story, is that okay?" you ask and the box makes a sound before flicking to yes.
"Thank you for that, are we talking to Bianca and Drake!" Sam asks and nothing happens.
"Is this Bianca and Drake?" you repeat and the box flicks to yes.
"They are only talking to Y/N!" Colby laughs, you giggle a little bit too.
"You guys dont have to be scared of Sam or Colby, they are friends. They are the ones who brought me here to see you!" you smile and the box waits a while until it flicks to yes again.
"You guys are welcome to follow us for the rest of the night and keep us safe, will you follow us?" Colby asks and it again answers yes.
"Was that you that I saw outside earlier?" you ask thinking of the little blip you'd seen in the grounds as you'd first arrived here.
The box started to freak out, repeating no no no 3 times before a bang was heard up in the left corner near a different room. The camera pans to yours and Colbys open mouthed expression from the shock of how loud that was.
"What was that?" you ask, Sam and Colby wonder off to investigate where the noise came from, but couldn't find anything and they slowly came back.
"Nothing?" you asked looking between them and they nodded showing you the camera.
"I'm guessing that wasn't something nice I saw outside behind the house then...guess someone will have to go out there later" you say before putting your finger on your nose. Sam shortly follows before Colby looks at the both of you.
"Fuck guys!" he cries laughing before you guys end the investigation there and decide to head to the next location where you were going to attempt to use the flashlights, not only did the fans love them but you were super intrigued to see them work in real time.
You guys move into one of the upstairs bedrooms, it feels, not necessarily negative but just upsetting like something bad happened here that shouldn’t have.
You guys place the torches at either end of the room, one on each mantle facing towards each other.
“Okay, I guess we start” Colby says before Sam gasps and ruffles through the bag of objects.
“It’s mandatory now to have the cat call as well when we do these” Sam says placing a cat pall on the floor somewhere away from you guys to stop any confusion.
“If there are any spirits in this room that would like to talk to us, please turn on this blue flashlight by me” Colby asks and almost instantly the room lights up further thanks to the blue torch turning on.
“Holy shit that’s crazy! Wait like how does that work. Can I stand next to it if I keep my hands behind my back?” You ask and Sam and Colby look at each other before nodding. They film you as you inspect the torch seeing it in in fact just a regular torch, one that is on its own and seemingly doesn’t have anything about it that would make Sam or Colby seem like frauds.
“Can you please turn this torch off and then the Red torch on!” You ask and right in-front of you eye-line the torch flickers out. And as if something walked across the room to get to the other torch it turns on a few delayed seconds later.
“That’s sick!” You cry in excitement before apologising profusely to the ghost worried about insulting it with your excitement.
“Okay, are we in the room with Bianca and Drake?” Sam asks and both torches then turn on at the same time.
“Bianca are you at the blue torch?” Colby asks looking to the torch you were stood near and it turns out.
“No so Y/N is stood with Drake, and Colby is over there with Bianca” Sam instructs and both torches turn back on.
“They are very intelligent spirits, do you guys mind if we refer to you as that?” You ask politely and both turn of, meaning they didn’t mind.
“Is there something that scares you in this house” Colby asks and both the torches remain on.
“Is it Madison?” Colby pushes and both flashlights flicker as if they were on the edge of a yes and a no.
“Should we be scared of Madison?” You ask, and both stop there flickering and stay on.
“What about your ex-wife Vasilla. We know what she did” Colby asks looking in your direction and both flashlights turn on.
“Yes and no is pretty hard isn’t it?” You sigh looking around feeling sorry for the spirits answering all your questions.
“Mmm maybe it’s time for … the spirit box!” Colby says in a creepy voice making you laugh and cringe a little.
“Why’d you say it like that! Never do that again!” You cry looking over at him in shock.
“Mmmm you don’t like my creepy voice” he grins in a teasing manner coming closer to you looking down at you making you look down shaking your head with a laugh.
Taglist:
@richardsamboramylove55 @braveangel777 @rockwyu @jada-lockwood @itzdarling @h3arts4harry @lemonnightmare
#colby brock smut#colby brock imagine#sam and colby imagine#colby brock#sam and colby x reader#sam golbach x reader#sam and colby smut#sam golbach#sam goldbach x reader#sam goldbach imagine#sam and colby fluff#sam and colby fanfiction#sam goldbach smut#xplr#youtuber one shots
181 notes
·
View notes
Note
(Not the same anon) I’m really curious in learning more about how Christianity didn’t actually steal from Pagans, and how ‘Pagan’ traditions aren’t actually Pagan, but I’m not sure how to word my question specifically. If you could point me to a resource or two that would tell me about that stuff, I’d love it! (I will be looking up the definition of syncretism as well as checking out the podcast you linked the other anon). Sorry if I worded anything incorrectly or got a concept wrong, I’m very new and wanting to learn. (Also I know I can probably find resources for myself, but I’m not sure where to even begin, which is why I asked you, sorry if I’m being a bother).
So syncretism is when cultural or religious traditions get merged into another religion, usually by customs getting carried over post conversion or colonization.
Like imagine a religion like Christianity comes into an area and mass converts people. And the people say "Oh yeah, we're Christian now -- for sure" but keep doing all of their cultural traditions. What happens over time is that those traditions get recontextualized into the new religion's framework.
It's not Christianity "stealing" them -- it's the cultures that were converted holding onto their traditions in spite of Christianity. The church wasn't deliberately trying to take them -- they just kind of got stuck with them. You get that with a bunch of Yule stuff with Norse and Germanic areas and Christmas.
So that's part of it.
The rest is that a lot of things modern folks claim are "Pagan" just... aren't? Like take the Christmas tree. Like we have clear documentation of its origin going back to German Protestants. Like we know when it started. Yet you'll see countless folks online (and badly written witchcraft books) claiming it's some ancient tradition to decorate a tree in your house. It just... isn't tho?
What you need to do is go to academic sources on these topics, and just kinda take anything in a witchcraft book with a grain of salt.
424 notes
·
View notes
Text
LU Links as things I did in the month of September (except two weeks late because i forgot to post it and it’s been rotting in my drafts-)
Time: Sat in the gamestop parking lot for TWO full hours waiting for the store to open so he could get the game he preordered because he thought the line would be super fucking long and he made a friend come with him and wait because he NEEDED his game, but he didn’t wanna get lonely. No one showed up till like 10 minutes too and at that point he’d gotten so distracted he ended up last in a line of 5 people and he was really upset about it
Warriors: Got bit by a mosquito and had a severe reaction to it but because he whines and complains about everything all the time people were just kinda like “yeah I’m sure it DOES bother you dude” but it was genuinely so bad he was on 3 meds for a week, had an allergic reaction, and had to go to urgent care. And on his way to said urgent care a lady told him he looked sad and handed him a 10$ IKEA coupon. When people in his life actually saw the size of the bite they were horrified
Twilight: Looked at his dog and cried because he didn’t understand why such a little creature would love him enough to fall asleep outside his room waiting for him to wake up in the morning
Sky: Stood outside in a rainstorm with his head down staring at his bare ass feet in his sandals that were getting absolutely soaked and decided he maybe DIDNT need to get the mail just then, but then slipped and ate shit in the garage because his shoes were wet
Hyrule: Drove 40 minutes for a can of pringles and three 3 musketeers bars. Intended to ration them out over the course of three days, but ate them all in one sitting and then got sad about it
Legend: Realized he can’t be sad if he’s screaming to FNAF songs in the car, and then realized yes he CAN be sad because FNAF songs remind him of his best friend who he really fucking misses. Now he listens to podcasts in the car because he will start tearing up if he listens to music in general while he drives
Wild: Spontaneously drove to a different state on a Thursday afternoon and the fact that it was a Thursday fucked with his internal calendar and for the rest of the weekend he was mentally one day off. But it ended up being great for him because he woke up and cried Monday morning but then realized it was actually Sunday and no he DIDNT have to go to school
Four: Ate so much chocolate he made himself sick and unfortunately this happened while all his housemates were out so he just had to lay there pathetically wishing he at least wasn’t lonely while suffering
Wind: Wakes up every god damn day and choses NOT to eat his dnd dice. It is a STRUGGLE. They look so fucking edible…
65 notes
·
View notes