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audistorium · 8 months

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How I Even Got Here: A Letter from Lemon to Hopeful Creatives

This is going to be a lot. But maybe that's why we(I) made a tumblr. This is a place stories like these can be told.

Four months ago I was not a showrunner.

Four months ago I had no idea what to do.

Four months ago I had little to no friends in Audio Drama as a whole. There were a small handful of twitter people I knew, and I was a ghost in a few discords because I was afraid to ask anyone anything. But.. I was mostly riding solo.

I spent several years learning nothing but sound design after becoming completely enthralled by The Sandman. Shortly after I found SCP Archives and indie Audio Dramas that blew my mind.

Yet even with all that time making soundscapes and learning the intricacies of sound design under my belt, I still felt that gnawing imposter syndrome of creating a show. I've now learned this is pretty widespread in AD creators. Funny how that works, isn't it?

Who was I? Some broke kid from Arkansas that's fascinated by productions of sound and theatre of the mind? A less than well known comedian that wanted to tell the weird tales that manifest from nothing in my brain? I guess in the end that didn't really matter to me. I wanted to tell the scary stories that popped into my head and combine them with later episodes that tell funny ones. An interweaving web that I couldn't get out of my head until I brought it to life.

I talk about the night I uploaded my first episode a lot. My hands were shaking. My heart was nearly beating out of my chest and my face was buried in my palms for a while. I ended up saying "Fuck it." and hit upload. I sat there for a while just watching the episode pop up on different platforms one by one.

There it was. The thing I built up and wrote and worked my ass off for so long for. "What now?" I wondered.

I sat there for an hour kind of looking at the Spotify cover art that had been done well over a year before this point. Yet somehow it felt more real now. More tangible. This was something I could hold in my hands now and say I created. That was an unreal feeling. It was even more mind bending to think that this was only the start of the journey.

I got on Twitter that night and posted about it. It did not take long for someone to reach out. That person was Jesse Hall. Someone who showed me enough kindness to say all of these things that spelled out to me: "Hey, there are communities out there of people that want you to keep making these"

I ended up finding my home, The Liminal Lands discord. A show hiding out in a discord for another show. The thing is, though..

There really WAS this sense of community in it.

Since that point I have been in shows that previously I was only a fan of. I have met people that have been doing this for like 10+ years that treat me as a peer. I have other friends now that are also new showrunners.

I've been asked to be the sound designer in two different productions that are aiming for Tribeca. How nuts is that?

While it does mean my own show has to wait a second, this is incredible that people actually want to involve me at such a level when I feel like the biggest imposter in the room.

It has not been an easy past four months. Not even remotely. I wrote, voiced and sound designed episode 2: Lemonal in 24 hours because I felt like I needed to tell that story. It was one that was very personal. I've been able to share experiences of helplessness, death and fear. But also personal growth.

Soon, of my own humor.

I can put all of myself into this and I never have any intention of stopping that.

Four months later, I am a showrunner. I am the writer, sound designer and often one of the voice actors in my own show.

Four months later, I am confident in what I am capable of, and I am extremely proud of what I've been able to do because so many caring people pushed me and told me that I can do this. That If I stop punishing myself and telling myself my work is bad, I'll learn to love it more. So I did.

Four months later, I have friends that I would not trade for anything in the world and I think that things are only going up from here.

If you stumble across this as a hopeful creative, and you're not certain that you can accomplish what you want.. Well. Look at me.

I had nothing and no one. Our very small budget got us 3 covers and published. Good enough.

Now I have people that care enough to make me better every day. People that just want to be involved in what I made. That is extremely cool, and nowwww, every time I make something new I improve. I couldn't ask for anything better.

Take the leap. People will help you. People will support you.

I promise.

#audio drama #audio fiction #fiction podcast

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beyinuo · 1 month

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hiii everyone!! i just finished following the masterlist and wanted to make a quick introduction <3 this is august back again (jinyoung, yejun) with a new third muse who is very dear to my heart; introducing zhou yinuo, your golden retriever girlfriend! as usual i'll stick the tl;dr about her under the cut and i'm looking forward to getting her involved so please let me know if you'd like to plot!!

born in quingdao, china and lived there her entire life up until 2020 when she came to south korea after being scouted and signed to kt entertainment (same company as yulbe!)

back home her parents own a brewery she practically grew up in and she loves it, but she wanted to explore the world and experience more things before settling down into the family business.

she trained for about a year before kt debuted their girl group, yinuo obviously didn't make the cut, and a lot of the female trainees were cut from the company altogether.

she wasn't ready to go home yet though! so she figured out how to stay in south korea, visa issues etc, and... is still here, still casually trying to be an idol since it seems fun, and currently working at jindallae's restaurant's bar because she could bartend in her sleep and also. she really enjoys buying things.

personality-wise, like i said she's a golden retriever! super friendly and outgoing, never afraid to try something new or jump into a conversation or introduce herself to anyone who seems interesting... she's just everyone's best friend and goes out of her way to make everyone around her feel welcome and included.

lesbian. she loves women so much. very easily distracted by a pretty girl... and also falls in love so quickly and moves way too fast. it's probably burned her in the past.

as for a few initial plot ideas... i think any of these connections might be neat!

and they were roommates.... i don't think miss yinuo can afford her own place at this time so would love to get her in with a roommate or two! maybe three, why not! the more the merrier!

boys who hit on her and she remained completely oblivious thanks to her utter lack of attraction to them... she would love to be your friend though <3

i've been joking that of all the handsome guys who work at the restaurant, yinuo gets the most numbers from female patrons. would love for her to make some of those imaginary connections real! girls she's chatted with and given her number to from across the bar... regulars who she's dreamed up a fantasy love story about in her head... anything

she is easily suckered into buying gimmicky products. you take advantage of this somehow.

her go-to helper in korean! she's pretty fluent after being fully immersed for the last four years but every now and then she runs into a word she doesn't know. so she texts you immediately since you obviously have all the answers.

idk this is all i have off the top of my head but! yinuo is so fun and literally wants to be friends with everyone so please give her a shot she'll be your bff <3

#.ooc

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tj-dragonblade · 4 months

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Fanfic Tag Game

Tagged by @softest-punk and @landwriter, thank you both!

1. How many fics do you have on AO3? 133

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? I will break 400K with the next thing I post (unless it is somehow less than 401 words lol) Also, this would require actually focusing on something to finish it

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently? Sandman (technically, Dreamling). Previously? MCU, Naruto, Saiyuki, and Gundam Wing

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Overall (these are from my Naruto days and more than ten years old): Delayed (or, Why Kakashi Is Never On Time) (GaiKaka) at 3963 Past the Limits (KakaNaru) at 1272 Affirmation (KakaNaru) at 1022 Worth It (KakaIru) at 1005 Vigil (GaaNaru) at 843 (It kills me that I am Just Not That Into Kakashi and yet he's fucked his way into four of my top five, lol)Current fandom tops, just for fun (all of which are at most a year-plus-change in age) Use Your Words at 443 Insatiable at 398 Fluffbruary Fills (2023) at 375 In the Morning Light at 318 Built For You at 308

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, generally! I am still catching up on Fluffbruary comments, much to my chagrin

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Going aaaallllll the way back to Gundam Wing, I did a songfic where I implied a breakup until the final-line reveal that the character had gasp actually died. There may be a couple other angst-based pieces in my catalog, but that I think is the Most(tm).

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most everything I write is a happy ending, when there's any semblance of plot involved. Uh. The Umbrella Boys AU had a wedding; maybe that counts? Either that or the Thessaly breakup fic with all the hurt-comfort pining that finally resolves into requited realization.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Never have, would like to keep it that way.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? The good kind *eyebrow waggle*

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I have…three, that could be counted as crossovers, and one that's a proper fusion. None of them are particularly crazy. Duo and Wufei did Naruto roleplay in the bedroom. Kakashi and Naruto took on Princess Bride's fire swamp. Gojyo and Hakkai acquired Jiipu from Count D and his pet shop with a complete disregard for the fourth wall. Maybe that one, then, though it's more crack than crazy-crossover. Hob wearing the Wavemother's Robe is not enough of anything to count as a crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of, no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! I don't recall which ones but I've had requests to translate to Chinese, to Russian, and I think Spanish as well? Possibly French also. My memory is shit. Je suis désolé.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic? Yeah, a friend and I co-wrote a couple back in GW and it was…fun? At the time? It started as me helping her with the smut portion of a thing she was doing and turned into a cowrite with a sequel. Not the sort of thing I'd have written on my own, and definitely not now twenty years later with my current kink preferences

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? …yeah, that's not a thing I can answer. Whichever I'm fixated on is inevitably my favorite at the time but once the fixation fades, I still have so much love for each of them.

15. What’s a fic you’d like to finish but don’t think you ever will? Oh my god there are so many. But there are two-three unfinished drafts for ThorBruce fic that I really—see, my MCU fandom experience soured so fast I did not have my usual three-year run of productive ficwriting and the ideas I was working on probably could have been finished were that not the case. I would still love to finish them but the motivation (let alone the time) is just not there.

16. What are your writing strengths? I take great pride in my smut, and I like to think I'm good at it. Painting pictures with my words? Maybe character voice, in certain cases.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot. Stories with plot and progression and chapters and such. Follow-through to finish pieces that don't get done in the initial burst of focus.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? If I had a need for it at some point, I would want to consult a native speaker to ensure correct translation and I would include the translation in footnotes etc. But it would have to be some really specific reason that the foreign language was needed/integral to some story device to not just indicate via some other means (e.g., '"xyz," he said, in perfect French', use of italics, etc) that a different language is in use.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Gundam Wing. If we don't count the 'DS9 novel idea' that I recall making notes on in my journal back in high school, or any of the Mary Sue DS9 thoughts I would also journal about. None of that was ever 'actual writing' nor did I have anywhere I would have shared it in '96.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Again. How'm I supposed to pick? Ugh. Let's see, fandom by fandom. Gundam Wing…no, nothing there is a favorite. Saiyuki…When the Chips Are Down. Comedy gen-fic based on a tidbit of fandom lore is not something I manage terribly often but I am quite pleased with this one; Jiipu's pov always delights me and I'm proud of all the voice work here also. Naruto…maybe Seized? Sai POV is one of my strengths and I think it came through really well in that one. MCU…Carpe Diem, I'm very pleased with character voices in that one. Sandman…I remain very fond of the Drunken Confessions Fluffbruary 2023 fic and the Car and Cutoffs one might be my favorite smutfic. So far.

If you'd like to do this, please take my passive tag this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks.

#tagmemes #TJs Writing

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servin-up-surveys · 2 months

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survey #223

Are any of your friendships on a fine line? Nope! Very grateful for that.

If I search your room, will I find birth control? No. My pills are in the kitchen with my other meds.

Have you ever witnessed a birth? Only cats personally, other animals through videos that would circulate. I NEVER want to see a human birth, I don't even like seeing animals do it.

Are you often the last one to understand a joke? Yes, honestly. I wouldn't say always, but it definitely happens.

Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? Yes to both. Never beyond my own yard though, haha. As kids, Dad would sometimes do it with us kids.

Are you mad right now? No.

Have you ever been on a farm? I have, briefly. We were picking up my sister from her friend's house, and she lived on a farm.

What are you listening to? I'm watching an episode of John Wolfe's Still Wakes the Deep LP.

Would you rather date someone five years older or five years younger than you? Older.

If you had to live off one type of fruit, which would you pick? Probably apples. I prefer strawberries and kiwi, but I more consistently enjoy apples.

How often do you drink Monster? I hate Monster. To be fair though, I'm not much better health-wise than Monster enjoyers, because after all, I fucking love Mountain Dew. So unhealthy it's not produced in I think the UK.

Are you short? I'm average height for a North American woman my age.

Can you ever get enough of mac ‘n’ cheese? I'm certain I could.

Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? No.

Do you have trust issues? Yes, but they're not as bad as they were in the past. I also know that I tend to be maybe overly trusting towards women that appear motherly and very empathetic.

Do you think age matters in relationships? If a minor is involved, it absofuckinglutely does. Relationships with considerably large age gaps aren't for me personally, but adults can do what adults want in their own consenting relationships.

Has anyone ever called the cops on you? No.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? My dad is remarried.

Could you go a week without brushing your teeth? ... This is fucking humiliating, but I've done this. Executive dysfunction and debilitating depression. I paid for this though, I've had intense teeth work after this neglect, and it taught me good. I'm still not where I should be in caring for myself, but by god have I made progress.

Are you usually awake at midnight? Not usually, no.

Have you ever been peer pressured to smoke pot? No. I've never really been peer pressured, but even then, I've always been very good at sticking to my guns with this kinda stuff.

Do you ever actually drink milk alone? Yes, I love milk.

If you don’t have one already, would you consider getting an iPhone? No; I prefer Androids between the two.

What year were you born in? 1996.

Do you get jealous easily? Nah. I'm more prone to envy.

Have you ever done anything illegal? I've always been a person downloading shit illegally.

Do you use Twitter? No.

Who was the last person you hugged? My mom.

Do you listen to All Time Low? No.

Do you get leg cramps often? I've had a tendency lately of waking up and getting leg cramps? Especially if I stretch my leg even a smidge. It's not fun.

Have you ever met a celebrity? No.

Who was your first kiss? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend when I was 16.

What is your favourite food? I could say chocolate lmao, but that certainly doesn't count as like, real "food." My favorite *real* food is cheeseburgers, then I also like boneless hot wings and pizza and other unhealthy shit I shouldn't touch lol.

Do you use Skype? No.

Does it bother you when people have a collar turned up? The fuck should I care what people wear and how they wear it

As a kid did you like Barney, Baby Bop, or DJ more? Barney. I don't know what the other two are.

Have you been to the Bzoink Forums yet? I never had an account there, but I understand it shut down.

Have you ever pet a monkey? No.

Have you ever ridden a camel? No.

Do you like cupcakes? I do. I never knew I couldn't like cupcakes until my sister's husband made them for the kids, his are inedible to me.

Orange or lemon flavoring? Lemon.

Have you ever been to a Disney theme park? Disney World in Orlando.

Do you watch or listen to the news? No, shit's depressing.

What world issues concern you the most? A fucking lot, I don't even want to think of this right now.

Do you think that a woman can be an effective president? What a dumb fucking question.

Do you feel differently about love and sex now than you did at 17? OH YES

Would you ever join the military? Why or why not? lmfao hell no. Even if I was mentally well enough to join, I would never be fodder for the rich man's wars. They can solve their own goddamn problems without bringing violence into it. Maybe one day people in power will act like goddamn adults.

Do you or anyone you know play the violin? Not that I know of.

What is one of your favorite breakup songs? Maybe "If You Can't Hang" by Sleeping With Sirens, idk.

Are you someone who gets easily agitated by hearing someone chewing? Only if it's extremely obnoxious. Otherwise I don't tend to notice.

What's your favorite kind of oatmeal/porridge? Cinnamon apple. And it HAS to be cooked with milk, water is awful.

Have you ever ate a whole pizza in one sitting? No, at least, not a normal pizza. Maybe one of those smaller personal-sized pizzas you can get at the store.

What's something that always makes you cringe? Musicals. I wish I didn't have a cringe reaction to anything, cringe culture is so dumb.

What's something that always makes you emotional? Actually good dads. I didn't exactly get a great one.

What's your favorite pasta? Just normal spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs.

What's a social media site you have no interest in? Twitter.

Are you afraid of the dark? No.

Do you watch American Horror Story? No, I haven't for many years. I did enjoy the first season, though. Season two didn't do it for me (but I didn't finish it) and then I just didn't watch it after that.

Does your hometown have any urban legends/scary stories? My hometown is probably way too small for that.

What’s the scariest nightmare you remember having? I have some sort of condition where I have nightmares/terrors chronically so I could list plenty, but I don't want to. I just had one a few days ago that left me bawling to my mom.

Are you medicated? I've been bouncing between psych meds since fucking middle school.

Does your family/friends have a nickname for you? I mean, "Britt," but that's my nickname from everyone. My mom always gave her kids sweets nicknames though, and mine was "Twinkie." She still uses it occasionally lol.

Who’s some of your favorite YouTubers? I don't really watch Mark anymore, but Markiplier is still my favorite of all-time, I was fucking obsessed and he's still one of my biggest inspirations as a person. I love and respect him immensely. Some that are more relevant to me today include (in no real order) Game Grumps, Snake Discovery, John Wolfe, jacksepticeye, tarantula kat, NKFherping, Gab Smolders, others.

Do you have any phobias? Pregnancy, parasites (especially internal), vomit, general social phobia, whale sharks, slugs, heights (conditional), and I'm certain there's more I'm forgetting in the moment.

Are there any scented candles in the room you’re in? No.

Pancakes or French toast? Hmmm... I love both. I certainly eat more pancakes, though. I guess it depends on what I'm feeling at the time and how well they're prepared.

Did you have anything for breakfast today? Uh... what did I eat? Cereal, I think?

Are there any apps you’re addicted to? Not addicted, no. I have apps I like, but certainly no addictions to them. I know what addictions feel like, I'd know.

Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? Yes, a moose I got from a Cabela's store in Ohio that I named Brownie. I still have him and as I redecorate my room, I think I'm gonna sit him on my bedside table since it's kinda bare right now.

Do you still collect stuffed animals? Not so much anymore, but I CERTAINLY did growing up.

How do you feel about Spongebob? I love Spongebob, it has no reason to be as funny as it is for all ages imo lol. I don't seek out watching it, but it's on sometimes when Mom and I watch my sister's kids, and I enjoy it just fine. I watched it regularly growing up.

Do you have any nervous habits? Most prominently, I wring and knead my hands together. I avoid eye contact. I stutter. I sometimes even cry just because I'm uncomfortable. After getting gauges in my ears, me tampering with these became as common as messing with my hands.

Do you shape/fill in your eyebrows? No.

What’s your favorite comfort food to eat? Comfort food, ice cream. But my true comfort edible... thing is a drink, Mountain Dew Voltage.

What’s the last movie you watched in theaters? I literally have not been to the theater since I tried watching The Black Phone. I WANT to, badly, I was desperate to see the Barbie movie but didn't get to, and now I really wanna see Inside Out 2. We're just extremely in the hole money-wise right now, going to the theater isn't on our table right now.

Do you/did you ever have a Neopets account? Yes, I fucking loved Neopets growing up. I still love the art style and even tried making an account this past year, the naming system just annoyed me too much lmao, I gave up. I don't like adding numbers n shit to character names, it's just a pet peeve.

When’s the last time you were camping? I've never actually been camping.

Have you ever had eggs cooked over a campfire? No.

If you do drink, what’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? Sangrias. I only really like fruity stuff.

Are there any songs you’ve been listening to repetitively lately? I haven't been doing this too much lately, but the two I've been doing this most with lately is "Zwitter" and the full band version of "Los," both by Rammstein.

Do you have social anxiety? Severely. Severely. It's a lot more prominent offline than online, though. It is still very present online too though, especially when I'm dealing with unfamiliar people.

Have you ever had fried pickles? I have, but I don't think I've had good ones. To my memory, I wasn't impressed, and I know these are typically super adored.

Where’s your favorite place to go out to eat? Meh, depends on my mood. Most often I simply want McDonald's (I feel like I'm the only adult alive that genuinely enjoys McD's lmao), other times Bojangle's, but my favorite fast food place is actually Sonic, I'm just less often in the mood for it.

Cereal, granola, or oatmeal? I like all of these, but I definitely eat cereal the most.

#survey #surveys

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owemnstudies · 3 months

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Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) 🤍

tysm for the ask! (this is a hard one, but i will try my best)

1. i like my moles

two under my right eye, four vertically on the left side on my neck, one on my lip, six more under my knee, i've always loved my moles and wondered if i could get more when i was kid. i used to say the ones on my neck were from a vampire that bit me

2. i like how others can rely on me

i don't consider myself a smart person or someone who is responsible 100% but somehow my friends and classmates (even after graduating) ask me about if i understand this or that... explain things, and while i do not want to think at all that they're taking advantage (🧠⚰️), i actually love that others rely on me, and it pushes me to be responsible and productive?

3. i like my hands?

they're small, but so what? i used to bite my nails a lot when i was a kid, now i don't, and i have pretty nails

4. i like my hair!

curly hair is the best, during the pandemic even if i messed up cutting my hair on my own, the curls just hide it all and messy haircuts actually looked better on my curly hair (I promise)

5. i like how i make little things for other people even when I'm not at my best

the past two years i really have been at my worst, but even so i always find the motivation to just draw my friends for their birthdays, write them letters and just cherish them with little things i can do. I do not consider myself a person people can talk to about their problems, but at least i make a few people happy with cute chibis or portraits 😭 they made them their pfps! 🩷

the answers aren't really about myself without involving others, i tried 🫠

#ask game #about myself #english isnt my first language #am i a people pleaser?

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dominickeating-source · 3 months

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Starburst Issue 320 (2005)

THE DOMINIC PRINCIPLE

Steven Eramo finds Star Trek Enterprise's Dominic Keating excited yet strangely uncomfortable- about the shows future.

We can put a man on the moon, but we can't make a spacesuit that's comfortable for him to wear. Sadly, things don't get any better 150 years from now as Dominic Keating, who plays Star Trek Enterprise's Lt. Malcolm Reed, can attest to. We recently finished shooting a story arc where Connor Trinneer [Commander Charles Trip Tucker III] and I were wearing the EV [environmental] suits for three episodes, recalls the actor. Jeez, those things just crucify you. It hurts so bad you have to laugh or you'll cry.

We probably worked five or six days in those suits over a two-and-a-half week period. All I can say is thank God it was with Connor. He has the patience of Job, and I don't. I was the last in line when they were handing out the patience, and I walked off. I was too impatient, chuckles Keating. Seriously, I love working with Connor. He and I always have a good time on-set together and I've really made a wonderful friend in him on this show.

EV suits aside, these three episodes [Babel One, United and The Aenar] are great. For our bit, Connor's and my character are transported to a drone ship, and sufficed to say they have to figure out who's running the show. It's a fun ride aboard the drone vessel, with a lot of action and a nice partnership between Trip and Reed.

The aforementioned trilogy, which features appearances by the Tellarites, Andorians and Vulcans, is just one of several mini-story arcs this fourth season on Enterprise. At the end of last year, Captain Jonathan Archer (Scott Bakula) and the Enterprise NX-01 crew were transported back into Earth's past after saving Humankind from being destroyed by the Xindi. Having since made it back to their own time during this seasons two-part opener Storm Front, our heroes are still going where no one has gone before. However, their course is now being charted by a new showrunner, Enterprise head writer/executive producer Manny Coto.

This season of Enterprise is unfolding rather beautifully, and I would lay that largely at Manny's feet, says Keating. A big part of that probably has to do with the fact that he grew up watching the original Star Trek and is himself a big fan. Manny has hired some new writers for the show who share his vision as well as understanding of Star Trek folklore, and together they've kept in the real spirit of Sci-Fi.

Manny has been very smart with his approach to the storytelling and, fingers crossed, this fresh new blood in the configuration of the show might just be its saving grace. I say that not wishing to do any disservice to Brannon Braga [series co-creator/executive producer]. He is still heavily involved in the production of the show. Manny just took over the day-to-day running of things.

As ship's tactical/security officer, Lt. Malcolm Reed received plenty of training as a Starfleet officer prior to being assigned to Enterprise. Over the past three-and-a-half years, his skills have been further sharpened during encounters with various hostile aliens. Keating feels that his tour of duty on the show has been a positive learning experience as well.

It's funny, I was saying to someone just recently that I've grown up on this series, finally, as an actor, he muses. Now I can go to a set anywhere in the world and know exactly what's going on at all times, whereas before I couldn't do that. All the guest-spots and movie roles I'd done previously were, quite honestly, too few and far between. However, almost four years of filming into Enterprise, I much better comprehend the inner workings and rhythms of a film set.

I come from a stage background and I think I have a natural understanding of working in the theatre. Some actors may feel that way about working in front of a camera, but not me. I had to learn it, and believe me I've learnt a lot. That, in turn, has given me greater confidence in myself as well as my abilities and helped me grow more into my part on the show. Malcolm Reed and Dominic have met in the middle if you will, and that feels good.

Just prior to this interview (early December 2004), Keating had been on vacation for a week and was getting ready to head back to work on Enterprise. From what I've been told, Malcolm is featured quite heavily in the next episode we're shooting, so that should be fun, says the actor. It's been an odd year because I didn't have much to do in the first 10 or 11 episodes, but things sort of heated up a little bit in the last two or three. I don't mind, though. Our writers and producers have given me quite a few meaty bits over the past three seasons, so it's not as if I'm chomping at the bit to show them what I can do.

When asked to name his favourite Malcolm moment so far this season, the actor is quick to reply. In one of the episodes I spoke about earlier with Trip and Malcolm on the drone ship, there's a scene where Malcolm rescues the two of them by making a bomb out of his phase pistol. There's a huge explosion and as they're running down this corridor Trip turns to Malcolm and says, 'You did all that with one phase pistol? Malcolm says to Trip, You build things, commander. Well, I blow them up'.

I thought that was a fantastic line. I hadn't had one like it since the pilot where Archer is holding a phase pistol and Malcolm tells him, 'Stun and kill; it'd be best not to confuse the settings, captain'. It's obvious from talking with Keating that he enjoys not only being an actor, but also working on Enterprise. While some might take a regular TV gig for granted, he knows better. "This is an absolute blessing", says the actor. "Yes, sometimes it can get a bit tedious, especially when you're sitting for hours on the bridge with only three things to say, but, you know what, I like it. I'd be very sad if this was our last year. However, the reactions have been pretty encouraging, so here's hoping, things might just work out".

Star Power

As in previous seasons, Star Trek Enterprise has managed to attract an impressive and memorable array of guest-stars this year. "I only had one or two scenes with him, but it was still a pleasure working with Brent Spiner [Dr. Arik Soong] in the Augments story arc," says Keating. "I found him to be a very smart and funny man who enjoys being around people".

"I thought Abby Brammell [Persis] and the Scottish actor, Alec Newman [Malik], did an amazing job as the two lead Augments. Then there's Paul Wight [a.k.a. Big Show], who played the big green Orion in Borderland. The guy is the size of a mountain. He lifted up Jolene Blalock [Commander T'Pol] with no effort at all", jokes the actor.

Joanna Cassidy was inspired casting as T'Pol's mother T�Les, and it's always a thrill to welcome back Gary Graham [Vulcan Ambassador Soval] to the set. Gary is such a gifted actor and he's had a nice run so far on Enterprise this season. Our writers really gave him some good material to work with in the Vulcan story arc.

Wicked Fun

We may know him now as the clean-cut and conscientious Lt. Malcolm Reed on Enterprise, but a few years back, Keating was getting up to no good as the devilish Mallos in the short lived fantasy TV series The Immortal starring Lorenzo Lamas. "They had initially earmarked me for the part of Lorenzos [Raphael? Rafe Cain] sidekick, who, I think, was originally called Joe", says Keating. However, the producers then decided that they wanted the show to appeal to a younger and broader audience so they hired Steve Braun to play Joe, who was ultimately renamed Goodwin.

"As for me, they felt I could play the lead demon and Lorenzo's main onscreen nemesis, Mallos. He was a neat character, wasn't he? You had the devilishness, sheer camp and pure evil all wrapped up in one. I just loved the audacity of Mallos, and the fact that he was also written with a terrific sense of humour. On top of all that, he drove flash cars, wore expensive suits, and had a beautiful woman [Kira Clavell] on his arm. What more could you ask for in a job? I certainly had a good time working on the show".

Source: www.dominickeating.com

#dominic keating #the keating cult #star trek enterprise

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becca4leafclover · 4 months

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Wait this isnt really related but what are hd skins even used for? Theyve always kind of looked off to me and i dont know where/when theyre used

Aha! You've triggered my trap card! Minecraft roleplay production! >:D

My fan skins that are 128x128 (doesnt really count as HD, which are any resolution above that, most commonly 2048x2048) are mainly just for fun, basically the same as any other fanskin. You can wear them on Bedrock MC or with mods on Java, which (at least used to be) semi common on rp/minigame servers because the mods were client side but you could see them on anyone else using the same mod/s

Full HD skins are mostly used for roleplay purposes, on servers for fun but the communities I'm in use them for making machinimas/cinematics/roleplay videos basically! If you're familiar with the old Aphmau RPs from the 20-teens, it's stuff like that (but without her as she's very much not involved in these productions or communities post like 2019 or before.) Her videos from back then very much set the precedents for modern RPs, including using HD skins, and that's never really gone away and has evolved into a majority of creators STRONGLY preferring full HD skins over any kind of pixels

Technically I make 128x skins also for the purposes of roleplays (that's where I learned for my friend who for years was the only person to ever commission me for my 128x skins) but besides him, it's only been in the past 2 months that I've been commissioned for 128x skins from one group. And I'm not complaining, it was great! And I'm so excited to see that RP premiere. But for two instances of it vs making and promoting my work in various servers for years, I've very often felt a bias when I see people pay more for lesser quality results purely because they chose full HD over considering any type of pixels :/

It's ultimately just a style choice from a creator/actor depending on the format of the RP, but depending on the way that sets are built they can seem more or less out of place. If they're using mods like Chisels and Bits or Decocraft that add building options and props that are more detailed than vanilla, then HD skins match better and vanilla skins look out of place while on SMPs it's the opposite- at least that's my opinion but I think a good amount of people agree with it?

#becca rambles #becca answers #imflyingfish

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borisbundleoflightlamp · 5 months

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this is a long vent and i'm putting it below a line because i don't want any of my lovely friends and mutuals to see it and be like okay we are officially sick of this girl

i think i'm officially for the first time this school year 100% burnt out and out of energy. i've been doing fine but i've just hit a wall in these past two days which sounds like i'm being hysterical if it's like i've only been feeling bad for two days but i've been fluctuating and getting lower and lower and getting to the point where the only times i feel good are when i'm actively reading or writing with my girlfriend (even talking is a lot of energy) or have just finished something (assignment, story, etc). i'm having a pretty productive and successful period of writing, including careerwise, but all i can feel is scared that i'm gonna lose the spark i have right now and make something Bad or just stop writing entirely. other things that usually make me happy (running, collaging, listening to podcasts, writing news, dinner with friends, texting online friends) just feel absolutely impossible. and that's all without mentioning how much i have to do for classes and how impossible THAT all feels. even though everything i have is pretty manageable and i have a decent start on the thing that's going to be the hardest (my long-ish aast research paper) it just feels so impossible to sit down and get anything done. i just had to give up on this big story for the newspaper i've been chasing all semester which makes me feel completely awful because i'm screwing my editors over but i just can't do it this week. and i dress it in this language of "i won't be able to put something successful together this week" it's really like "i personally can't stomach emailing these guys one more fucking time because of my ~mental health~" and i hate when the personal gets involved with the professional for me. i wish i could be making other people happy and have an easier end of the year because Everyone is busy and struggling in some way but i'm just so fucking exhausted. godbless idk how i'm gonna make it through the next 1.5 weeks.

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neworderscans · 2 years

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Electronic: Bernard Sumner & Johnny Marr online Q & A @ beeb.com, 22.04.99

Manchester music legends Bernard Sumner of New Order and Johnny Marr of The Smiths first started working together in 1989 as Electronic. Inspired by the success of their debut single, Getting Away With It, Johnny and Bernard have continued to produce records and collaborated with many other musicians. They chatted live from TOTP on 22/04/99 before performing their latest single Vivid.

pete23 asks: "Does being on Top of the Pops still mean something to you?"

Bernard: "It means getting up at 9 in the morning and hanging around for 12 hours."

Johnny: "So...yes...it means the same as it's always done!"

Bernard: "This time we're playing live which is more exciting than before. The format is that some bands play live over a backing track but I think it should be all live."

Johnny: "I grew up watching the show religiously so it would be nice to think that the show means the same to teenagers now as it did to me. We've got a guy in the band called Phil Cunningham and this is his first time and he's really excited."

Sara6asks: "What's the new album like?"

Bernard: "It's not very good, it wasn't worth making."

Johnny: "We're not really on it, we got our friends to do it."

Bernard: "It's rockier than the previous ones. It's more of a group based sound."

Johnny: "It's still more melodic but more guitary."

Bernard: "In the past the tracks have mainly been written using a computer and keyboard with the guitars added at the end. On this album we reversed the process by writing the songs on guitar first. A by product of that is that this album took 3 months to record and the previous one took 2 years."

Johnny: "The most conscious thing on this album was the choice to use a co-producer. This gave us more time and energy to focus on being songwriters. That's not to say we had a problem with this in the past...but we just fancied a change. Having a band to pull together made the atmosphere different as well...even rehearsals are good fun, it's great to make a racket."

Hailey23 asks: "You've probably been asked this a load of times, but come on guys, how about some live dates soon?"

Johnny: "We're trying. Both Bernard and myself are looking forward to playing live, our main consideration is the rest of the band."

Bernard: "We want to do some festivals but the rest of the band play for other people so we have to make sure they're free and available. The Label would like us to tour but we'd rather do a set of festivals. Even if we're going to play one gig, we have to rehearse for a month, which is really expensive."

Johnny: "Jed Lynch, the drummer who played with us on this album, is with Black Grape. Astrid Williamson who sang backing vocals on the album is also in the band. Phil Cunningham is in a Manchester band and it's difficult getting them all together."

mojo asks: "The Happy Mondays reunion - how long do you think it'll last?"

Johnny: "No one knows the answer to that question...two songs."

Bernard: "They're obviously friends of ours so we wish them good luck for the Manchester gig. Hopefully they've learnt from this period of being apart. Speaking from my experience with New Order, it was great that we stopped being silly. I believe the real reason the Monday's split up wasn't drugs...but Sean's feet. If they invest in some 'odour eaters' they could go on forever."

edgetolife asks: "Johnny, in the future would you like to play in more bands and write more material or would you enjoy producing material of other artists?"

Johnny: "I don't really fancy either of those things. I've been very fortunate to be involved with a few respected groups and I don't really want to repeat what I've done in the past. The problem with production is there's no distinction between what's my input and the artist's input." "When I've worked with other artists, my first thought in the morning is fretting about the production and if I'm going to do that then, then I might as well do it for myself. I'm thinking of doing my own solo stuff. I've got a collection of songs. When Bernard does his stuff with New Order I'm going to kick that off. I'll be singing and I'll get a band together." "I'm not giving it too much thought at the moment as Electronic's album's not even out at the moment. I'm very proud of this record and I want to promote it as much as possible."

Bernard: "We'll definitely work together again as well."

Johnny: "There's a sound I can only get with Bernard, the way he works and the way he writes. People can hear it and I think it's something unique."

Happy Jack asks: "How much online surfing do you both do? Have you seen any of the fans Electronic, Smiths and New Order sites (trust me, there are thousands)."

Bernard: "I just use it for porn...No, I'm joking...I'd rather go out and buy a book and hold something in my hand. The last thing I want to do after all day behind a computer in the studio is do it at home. We do use the net for graphics and sleeve designs. I get all the artwork emailed to me before it goes out."

Johnny: "I've checked it out fairly extensively. I've found it to be quite inspiring in some areas. I've got some quirky interests like Carl Jung, the history of native Americans and the history of Tibet. But I did check out a few fan sites. At first I was impressed and then underwhelmed because every time I went back to them they didn't update them. I tried to help out an unofficial website by telling them what I was up to. If anyone has any ideas they can email my management (Ignition management) or the record company and I'll get to see them."

Bernard: "The new Electronic website is a great site. The last one wasn't so good so I hope it goes well. What would be great is if we could do something like this every month."

JK22 asks: "If I sent my young brother down to hang about outside the TOTP studios with my Smiths, New Order and Electronic records, would you sign them?"

Bernard: "Yes but don't let everyone else get the same idea."

Johnny: "It depends, is he a nice guy?"

ManC asks: "Johnny, do you reckon Manchester City will be promoted this season?"

Johnny: "I'm always nervous about getting my hopes up. It's looking good though. I really hope Bernard doesn't say anything cos he's so smug this morning about Man U's victory. I'm sure Man C would agree, that because they're from Manchester and England and they're competing in Europe, I honestly hope with all my heart they get stuffed. That's how twisted Man City fans have become."

Bernard: "City have done so badly lately that Man U fans don't even take the mickey anymore. We find it pitiful. You'll be playing Salford Grammar School next."

Johnny: "I don't care. The band has just split up, thanks Man C!"

Gav Fuller asks: "Johnny, what's the story behind you launching your own clothing line? Where can we buy the clothes from?"

Johnny: "At the moment there are shops everywhere taking orders from Elk. But we're funny about who we'll send it out to. If you live in London you can get it from Fletcher in Covent Garden or Brown's...there are going to be a couple of adverts in The Face over the next few months."

"It's stuff I've done with Nigel Lawson, a very talented fashion designer in Manchester that I know. The stuff he does is much more interesting than the stuff available in the shops."

Bernard: "It's native American based stuff isn't it?"

Johnny: "It's a weird mix of native American, outdoor wear, Mod and other bits. It's been a labour of love for 2 years. It's an ideological experiment because it's like a band. If you keep the ideas pure and the enthusiasm up, then people realise it's not a corporate thing."

Ric Romo asks: "Do you have any plans to tour the US? Most notably, the state of Texas? We would love to see two legends down here."

Bernard: "It all depends on whether we can afford to do it is the honest answer. It costs a lot of money to do it. I love Texas, I've played there a lot with New Order but it all depends on the money."

Johnny: "I really enjoyed playing Dallas and Houston with The The. It would be great to play there again."

Davor Croatia asks: "Which songs or albums, that you've heard lately, have you thought were really good?"

Bernard: "I bought five albums the other week. Placebo's new album, Faithless, Beck, Serge Gainsbourg and a very old Fleetwood Mac featuring Peter Green. I really like Peter Green."

Johnny: "He's got a great voice."

Bernard: "My favourite album is Fatboy Slim."

Johnny: "I really like Mogwai and Badly Drawn Boy."

Bernard: "I liked the UNKLE album, particularly the Ian Brown track."

Johnny: "I like the Blue Note re-issues, The Nugget Psychedelic Box Set and also Celine Dion."

Dave Briggs asks: "What's the story behind you using a picture of Rasputin on your album sleeve?"

Bernard: "We're big fans of Boney M. I've always loved Ra Ra Rasputin. We liked the photograph and that's the only reason. We're not that interested in Rasputin. We just like the intense gaze he has. I saw a film about him and I reckon the guy got a bum rap. He cured the Tsar's son and spent the rest of the time having intimate relations with all the ladies in waiting...and what's wrong with that."

Dan 55 asks: "Bernard, how about a repeat gig at Alexandra Palace for the millennium? Last year was storming!"

Bernard: "The next priority for New Order is to write some new material which we'll be doing in the mid to late summer, that'll come out in the year 2000. That's the priority at the moment, although I really enjoyed the Ally Pally gig."

Johnny: "I'm staying in to watch the telly. I may go to Northern Australia for a couple of weeks."

Bernard: "The Ally Pally gig...we almost pulled it when Steve found out we were going on stage at midnight and he wanted to be in bed!"

Dave Goodwood asks: "A question for Johnny - what are your personal feelings about the court case with Mike Joyce?"

Johnny: "I feel that it was ugly and unnecessary. A real shame that over the last few years I've been asked more about that case than the songs I've produced. Midway through the case, I really did feel that I wanted to stop the case and get everyone to agree that we did have a good time in The Smiths after all."

"I don't hold an animosity to anyone but it was such a shame. On a personal level, I wish them luck, but they've got personal agendas that I can't relate to."

pank-art asks: "What do we have to do to get you guys for an interview for our radio station in Turkey?"

Johnny: "If it's on a boat and it's two weeks long then sure.

#electronic #bernard sumner #johnny marr #web #interview #1999

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carleylyonwrites · 2 years

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Ever since 2016, my evenings and weekends have been filled with theatre. And I don't mean watching it — I mean creating it. Directing, performing, dramaturge-ing (is there an actual word for that?), flipping from hanger to hanger in closets stuffed to the brim with vintage costumes, rummaging through mountains of props, building up confidence in bright-eyed young actors, pacifying my fair share of divas... and holding my breath as the music fades down, the lights fade up, and the play begins.

All of this was crammed into the hours of the day not occupied by a nine-to-five job. Theatre is not something I have to do. It's something I choose to do because of the joy it brings me. I've been asked many times over the years by family and friends, "Don't you get tired?" And my honest answer has always been, "No way. I love it."

But today, in the year of our Lord 2023, as a 30-year-old woman who's been involved in something like 17 productions since graduating from college, I am officially tired.

It's kind of weird when I think about it, because I know people twice my age who are hustling just as hard — if not harder — than I was, and they don't seem to be burnt out. Then again, what's that thing people always say, something about how "the only person you should be competing with is yourself"? Pretty sure someone said that. Once. Maybe. Anyway.

This doesn't mean I don't adore live theatre, or performing, or directing. It doesn't mean I want to stop forever. But life has taught me that when intuition speaks, I'm a fool if I don't listen. When I picture sitting down at my desk to block a show, when I imagine finishing up my day job only to jump in the car and drive off to a rehearsal that will stretch all the way up to (and nowadays, past) this gal's bedtime, I feel visceral resistance, with two simple words permeating every ounce of my being:

Maybe you've got something in your life that has burnt you out, like theatre has burnt me out. Maybe your intuition is telling you it's time to take a break. If that's the case, consider this your sign to listen to that intuition. I did, and after politely declining a few opportunities in 2023 that — while lovely on paper — sent my gut running for the hills, I feel like I've just taken one giant exhale.

Without any further ado, and because we love a list in this house, here is a list of five things I'm going to do this year with all the glorious spare time I'll have in light of my lil hiatus from the stage.

Number 1: Literally Nothing Jerry: "So uh, what'd you do last night?" Elaine: "Nothing." Jerry: "I know, 'nothing,' but what did you actually do?" Elaine: "Literally nothing. I sat in a chair and I stared." I firmly believe that we as human beings should be shamelessly vocal in our desire to do nothing. In 2023, I will be blocking off entire evenings to do nothing. Get home from work, make some dinner, futz around with jigsaw puzzles, rewatch Gilmore Girls for the billionth time. And if someone asks me, "Hey are you busy Tuesday night? Wanna hang out?" on a night when I've scheduled nothing, my answer will be, "Yeah, sorry, I'm busy Tuesday doing nothing." Here's the way I look at it: My husband and I want to have a child soon. This may be the last year for the foreseeable future that I'm not responsible for the survival, happiness, health, and well-being of a helpless potato sack (albeit a cute potato sack whom I will love with all my heart) of a human being. So yeah. I feel like I deserve a year where, several nights per week, I do absolutely nothing. Number 2: Read a Bunch of Books I used to avoid reading for leisure at all costs. There are a few reasons for this. First and foremost, I was usually too busy reading scripts so I could come up with production concepts, block shows, conduct research, memorize lines... all that jazz. Second, I hated the ergonomics of reading. I was always uncomfortable, and I was too busy fixating on my discomfort to process any of what I was attempting to read. And third, I have this thing where I hate the way pages feel between my fingertips. Sacrilege, I know. Then, a year or so ago, I gave an e-reader a chance. And dangit, if that thing didn't change the trajectory of my entire life.

I dislike Jeff Bezos as much as the next middle class citizen, so I gerrymander my ethics by adoring my sticker-covered sage green Kindle Paperwhite, drawing the line at actually buying books from Amazon. Instead, I've turned into a Libby app addict, renting the e-books from my local library. And you know what? I can live with that. Especially because it's led to an approximately 3,900% increase in the number of books I read annually. I set a Goodreads goal to read 30 books in 2023. It's Feb. 1, and I've already read 12. I'm no mathematician, but all signs point to yes, devouring works of fiction is a way that I actually want to spend my time. Number 3: Paint Silly Little Pictures I'll keep this one short, because there's really no big story to it. Painting is one of those things that makes me feel warm, fuzzy, and fulfilled inside. Am I an expert painter? No. Are there hundreds of millions of better painters than me in this world? Absolutely. Do the images I paint make my heart happy? Yep. They really do. There is something so darn cool about seeing a thing or a place in my head, and then creating it out of thin air. That's what painting is for me. I just love it, plain and simple, but I've so rarely had the time to sit down and do it regularly. This year, Imma do that.

Number 4: Climb (Fake) Rocks Physical fitness is the worst thing ever, period. I don't want to work out. I don't enjoy working out. I don't feel healthy or happy or accomplished after I work out. I'm also 30, and I'd like to, you know, survive for a while yet. So, against all odds, I found a workout routine that doesn't make me want to curl up in a dark corner and die: rock climbing.

Rock climbing holds a special place in my heart as the one activity in high school gym class that I actually enjoyed. And when an old college friend and I recently reconnected, and I found out they were a member at a climbing gym, I thought, "Hmm... maybe. Just maybe."

Am I any good at it? Hell no. But is it tons of fun? Is it a challenge that for some reason keeps drawing me back in for more? Is the chalk bag I bought very adorable and aesthetically pleasing? Do I feel kinda sexy and adventurous while doing it?

Hell yes.

And you best believe getting home from rehearsals at 10:30 or 11 PM every night was draining my already non-existent motivation to exercise well below zero. Thus, the year of no theatre becomes the year I try (and probably fail, but who cares?) to become a semi-decent climber.

Number 5: Make Music I'm pretty darn lucky to have grown up in a musical household. Both my parents can play the piano, and I started messing around on a baby grand (I know, right? Privilege for days) when I was about 5 years old. I'm no Mozart, and I'm definitely not the best pianist in my family, but I can play pretty darn well, and I miss the days where I used to be able to sit at the piano for two, three, four-hour stretches and just play. Stumble through sheet music with my mediocre reading skills, figure out favorite songs by ear, play old classics that my muscles refuse to forget. I never want to say to someone, "Oh, I used to play all the time, but I can't remember any of it anymore." So this year, we're setting aside designated time for piano therapy.

In January, I learned how to play "Rocket Man." Solid start. So maybe I shoot to learn one song per month. That'd be pretty cool. And if a song a month is too much, that's okay, too. The chance to even sit and improv for a few hours after work is something that completely fell by the wayside when evenings were all booked up, and on weekends, exhaustion caught up to me and deterred me from using any kind of creative energy. The idea of waking up early on a Saturday morning and plucking away, no schedule, nowhere to be, no one to tell me it's time to stop? Yes, please.

Well, I guess that's it. Or as the kids say (I think they say this?), "That's it. That's the Tweet."

Happy 2023, everyone.

#stagelife #2023 diary

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nebulousfishgills · 1 year

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hmmm.... random-ass asks about your fics, let's see...

idk, you were pretty damn thorough when I asked about Diplopia, so I'm not sure there's anything else I can ask on that front.

how about you tell me a little about your Spider-Man fic? I've been curious about that one but a little unsure of what to expect. Who's the OC? What makes them similar and different from Emily? How have they evolved as you developed the story?

Also, are there any particular themes, motifs, or symbols that seem to find their way into your writing consistently? I know you're very intentional about symbolism (and I love it), but I'm wondering what tends to crop back up more often.

Do you often include animals/pets in your writing? Why or why not?

Do you often include music in your writing? Either out-of-world (titles, thematic lyrics a la Desert Song) or in-world (characters' favorite songs, lyrics as dialogue, etc.)

How intentional are you about the weather when you write? Does it invoke symbolism, or do you just add it based on how you feel in the moment?

How intentional are you about the way characters dress? Specific colors, clothing styles, new vs. worn clothing, etc.

Always a pleasure to see you in the ask box, my friend :). Also rest assured there is always room to talk about Diplopia or His Tenebris Moenibus since I jam pack them with so much shit, never be shy about asking about them!

That being said, I'm always happy to talk about my other fics! I'm not exactly sure how I would categorize my Spider-Man fic (Facade is the title) because while I do think it deserves more attention... it's not really my favorite fic for a few reasons, but you know, there's always one fic you're not totally in love with.

Discussing My Spider-Man Fic

So, long story short is that Facade features Keira Browning-Osborn and her role in the Sam Raimi Spider-Man films. This was one of those fics that I pull out of my ass after seeing or reading a particular book/movie/show etc. No Way Home led me to the original Raimi movies and I just had to create a story with them since I was incredibly fascinated by Norman Osborn in particular.

This infatuation has pretty much passed by now since Stranger Things and then Twilight by proxy just absolutely crushed that. Now I kind of look at my past self like "...girl you sure? Are you good?" In fact, I don't think I was "good" since this era coencided pretty evenly with my high school production of Mamma Mia and I was several kinds and levels of stressed and at times upset with how the production went, but that's another long discussion. I don't regret being involved but if I was a different person I'd have had a few choice words for our director, but I digress.

Writing Facade kind of helped me get through that time in my life and I think there are certain elements in the story that show that. The fact that Keira is always listening to ABBA is a major one since, you know, Mamma Mia is a musical featuring their music. Another detail is that Keira was in choir in high school and was quite successful with it... my relationship with choir is complicated and I think I got a really short end of the stick with Mamma Mia since all the good parts went to the 'elite' or higher level choir kids despite the fact that our choir teacher was impressed with me and my range (I can pretty seamlessly go from very low alto notes to high soprano).

I really hate bouncing between the fic and how second semester senior year peforming arts went for me but the two were very tied together and you can't really talk about one without the other.

I've mentioned this before, but one of my least favorite parts about this fic is that Keira was very much a self insert for an idealized version of how I thought I wanted my life to end up that's changed vastly since the fic was posted. Which, one can think of that as a good thing so she seems a lot more original and unique, but I also modeled her to look a lot like myself, and my appearance hasn't changed since then.

Without knowing what my life was like while writing Facade, I don't think you'd ever know that I was having struggles, but with knowing I think in comparisson to some of my other writings specifically, it's a bit obvious that something just... wasn't right, I don't know. It's hard to explain or put into words, but I think the fic seems a little too idealized in some ways and I was in my head and with fantasies more than reality to escape my stresses.

But just a few weeks ago I re-read it all the way through and while I kind of treat it like the black sheep of my fics, it's not honestly that bad. It's very good, even, I think my gripes with it come from just the memories associated with it and how fixation-wise I cringe over it.

Part of that displeasure with it I think comes from the fact that I never finished it. Originally I had this whole elaborate plan where it was essentially split into five definitive "parts" of story. The first six chapters were establishing Keira and her relationship with Norman (cute chapters but that idealization really comes into play so it's kind of hard for me to take them that seriously), then I would go through all three of Raimi's movies, and then finish with a few chapters set in the future featuring Keira and Norman's daughter, Sophia.

I only got through "parts one and two," plus a few drafts for the end of part 4 and onto part 5 before Stranger Things 4 came out and the massive overhaul that came with it. And since so much time has passed, plus the above backstory reasons, unfortunately I don't ever really see myself finishing it unless something major happened. So the fic ends where Spider-Man 1 ends, but it's still marked incomplete.

It kind of makes me sad that I never finished it because I had a lot of ideas for how the other two movies/parts would have gone, but you know.

For example, I wanted to make it a detail that in Spider-Man 2, the brown roots of her hair have grown out from the red dye (faded, yet still there) so there's a clear line around her ear area between dyed hair and natural hair. This is because after Norman died, she hasn't had the time or energy to recolor or cut her hair to make it look nice. She has a company to run while also navagating her grief and trying so hard to keep her cool around Peter. But in Spider-Man 3, her hair is fresh, it's revitalized with her after she vows to kill Spider-Man.

All this to say... I think, in part, this is why I'm very scared to try new media I want to watch (Good Omens, namely) while I'm actively writing Necrosis since I don't want to fixate on something else and never get that finished even if I'm very excited to get everything out.

But about Keira!

I will say that I'm quite proud of how her corruption arc is shaped and handled. For most of the story, she's a very demure yet intelligent woman. She wants to do the right thing, which then comes into conflict when the "right thing" clashes with her teetering moral compass and her own selfish desires. I don't want to give too much away that's stated in the story itself, but if I had to pick a favorite chapter, it would be Chapter 13 (all the chapters have stupid titles, be forewarned) because that's when this war Keira is having with herself starts to bubble over and it's quite a good psychological study if I do say so myself.

So, as far as how similar she is to Emily, there are small similarities among large differences. For one, Keira doesn't start out as someone who's bitter, damaged, or "born a bad egg" as I would say Emily is. Keira was actually quite a content, happy person who thought she struck gold until things started to go so far downhill so very quickly.

But they both solicit extremely bad behavior in their partners. Obviously we've seen everything Emily has done and the things she let pass or even encouraged that Henry did. For the most part, everything we see the Green Goblin do in the first movie Keira makes no effort to stop or even help. She knows she has the power to create some sort of anti-serum and put the entire issue to bed, but she just... doesn't. And it's basically for almost the exact same reasons Emily has for her behavior... the fact that she just cares too much for the one she loves and the sometimes perceived protection they provide. Again, I won't say too much, but Keira is far from innocent, and had I continued her story it would have gotten a lot worse for her.

I'd almost go far enough to say that their taste in guys is the same, but as we know, that statement is normal to everyone except for Emily since she takes Her Taste In Men to the highest and most insane level possible. But, sure, we'll go with that.

As far as how Keira developed, again, I had an entire plan for her and how she developed (or more like devolved) as the story would progress, but I just never finished her story. But I will say that at the end of the day, Keira's main priority is her family... but since she lets her vengeance consume her so thoroughly, eventually she all but sidelines her daughter until Keira ends up dying and leaving Sophia in Peter and Mary Jane's care.

Keira isn't my favorite OC, but by far I think she's the most nuanced.

General Writing Questions

Themes, motifs, symbols that keep popping up... well, right off the bat, we have Blue Roses.

Blue roses are in reference to Game of Thrones, actually. In Game of Thrones, Rhaegar Targaryen gave a crown of Blue Roses to Lyanna Stark after he won a tourney because he believed she was the most beautiful woman in the realm. This leads to Issues, but I'm very fond of Rhaegar and Lyanna's story. That, plus realizing none of my OC love stories are clean cut and easy, like theirs, means that the blue rose is a good symbol for all of them. Blue Roses in general have kind of woven their way into my aesthetic as a person as well. But each of my OCs has some kind of blue rose at some point in their stories.

The first hint to Olivia that Loki loved her was him giving her a blue rose from Asgard's garden when they were children, him running off as soon as he presented her with the gift. To this day she still has it, kept safe in a Beauty and the Beast type bell jar.

In Facade, Norman gets Keira a blue rose hair clip as a small birthday gift on their first date. She wears it to his funeral.

Emily obviously has a blue rose tattooed on her right shoulder. She claims it's meant to emulate the blue paint of the Creel House, but I think she just thinks blue roses are cool.

As far as other reoccuring things, obviously if I post a brand new OC fic and there isn't some kind of corruption arc, assume I've been kidnapped and am being held hostage. I honestly enjoy both redemption and corruption arcs but there's something just so satisfying about letting a character fall to the Dark Side, usually for a lover. To me, both tropes mean the same thing; human beings are equally capable of great good and great evil no matter what. I just like the angsty version because usually that means my characters get Cool Outfits and get to Be Chaotic.

In a similar vein, while also slightly contradictory, I also like the cousin trope to Fallen Heroes in which the corruption out of the character's control. A rogue entity invaded Olivia's mind to cause her to change allegiances in A Song of Stars and Magic, Keira's corruption is brought to you in part by Science Gone Wrong, Just Delayed, and currently I'm operating under the idea that the Mind Flayer has been behind everything and being a disillusioned individual in the Creel House (a weak point) allows it to claim your consciousness.

I primarily think I do this because I'm an optimistic person and want to believe that sometimes circumstance gets in the way and that humans are naturally good people, it's outside forces that cause people to do bad things or that people do bad things for good reasons ultimately. And even then I think you can blame that on the fact that I grew up on the story of Anakin Skywalker's fall to the Dark Side, THE defacto corruption arc caused by trying to do the right thing and being influenced by someone or something else. I can really see how Revenge of the Sith shaped me as a person.

God I'm SO excited to meet the man next month.

Also, clearly I'm very fond of the what I'll call the "Villain's Favorite Person" trope, where the villain is Soft only for their lover or whoever. I really internalize concepts like "being a hero's lover means you'll always be second to their duty, but being a villain's lover means you're second to nothing" because villains are allowed to be selfish. "Villains will burn the world for a last kiss goodbye" as that one post goes. Plus there's something that just Hits Different about writing Villain Fluff because we as an audience understand that this character is capable of great destruction or madness, but they're being careful and Soft with someone they love.

And there is a difference between being a villain and being an asshole, you'll never see me writing villain romances like Harley Quinn and the Joker that are obviously so toxic and one-sided.

I'm sure there are other common themes, but for a perceived brevity's sake I'll move on.

Animals/pets aren't something very common in my writing. I don't really have a specific reason as to why, it's just never really crossed my mind. I think as of now the closest thing you'll get is how Emily feels about the Demo-Bats, little creatures she's very fond of.

Actually, I think I do have at least part of a reason. Most of my stories aren't fully happy and I don't want to run the risk of a character leaving a beloved pet behind or the other way around. That, and half of my major stories feature some form of long term immortality, which means outliving things. Emily is going to far and away outlive everyone she knew in Hawkins probably several generations over and Olivia is going to outlive the other Avengers... adding pets to the mix hurts too much.

Music is something that's very important to me. That's why I have character playlists for my OCs (some of them better maintained than others). When I pick songs, I usually try primarily to match them up first lyrically, then thematically, and then just the Vibes if all else fails. There are a lot of showtunes mixed in because that's just my primary taste in music, but each song tells a little story that I can mold and construe to fit my themes. Then there are just random odds and ends from here and there that just Fit. Lastly, I try to make it a goal to add at least one example of the significant other singing.

So, Olivia's playlist has the drinking song Loki sang in the third episode of his series, I added Jamie's music to both of Emily's playlists, and for funsies I added a song from the Spider-Man musical to Keira's playlist (DIY World is the only legitament banger on that soundtrack tbh). I also try to add some music from the given fandom, so Keira's playlist has Spider-Man soundtrack songs and Emily's playlists have either the Stranger Things soundtrack (both the OST and the licensed songs like Master of Puppets or Prophecies) or songs from Twilight like Bella's Lullaby or Supermassive Black Hole.

I'll provide descriptions and Spotify Codes to each one.

Olivia has a mix of songs from two perspectives, her usual self and her Bad Bitch Villain era. It's not as organized as it probably should be, but I think some songs are easier to discern from others as to which Variant of her we're dealing with

Keira's playlist is the shortest because my era with her didn't last as long. Olivia has had going on I think five years worth of development by me, Emily has had about a year, whereas Keira got maybe... idk five? Months? Again, it's unfortunate how little I ended up doing with her, but she's still one of my girlies. There's ABBA of course, but I also made sure to include music from the Jekyll and Hyde musical since it's... kind of eerie how well the stories line up.

Emily's playlists are actually in a rough chronological order. So if you were to listen without shuffle you could in theory get a rough outline of her stories. Her Stranger Things playlist for example starts out with the song "Room of Angel" from Silent Hill because it's about her relationship with her mother, which then goes to the Hawkins Lab theme from season 4 and Rät by Penelope Scott for her entrance to the lab and relationship with Papa. I even tried my best to use the love songs to provide a timeline of her and Henry's relationship. There's more but again, to keep it short, I'll let you see for yourself.

The same goes for Emily's Twilight playlist, a rough chronological timeline that ultimately leads to Necrosis (which only has two songs at the end so far; I'm always adding to Emily's playlists right now since I'm actively focused on her right now). Emily's Twilight playlist shares some songs with her Stranger Things playlist since it's the same character... there's also a copious amount of Disney on this one compared to others... I mean it checks out, Disney Princesses fall in love slower than she did in this case.

(I just changed the playlist cover on this one so the code will be a different color than this, Spotify is just being a dick about giving me the updated one)

Once in a while I'll include song lyrics in dialogue or in titles when I deem it appropriate. I don't go out of my way to do so, though since sometimes it's awkward. For funsies, though, let's see what the OCs favorite songs are because I have to be extra.

Olivia: "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri (shhh I know it's a Twilight song, but this was on her playlist before I really knew that)

Keira: "Lay All Your Love On Me" by ABBA (it's a canonical detail that when she was first starting to date Norman, she sang this to herself CONSTANTLY to the bemusement/annoyance of her friends)

Emily: "Dream a Little Dream of Me" by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong (because it reminds her of Henry... it's hard to pick a favorite song for her since clearly she has a strained relationship with music... but no matter how long she lives she will NEVER like Running Up That Hill for obvious reasons)

Now for the weather.

Honestly, the weather is something that I think about the least when crafting environments, at least symbolism wise. Sometimes I include rain, but that's just because I like rain and sometimes it can provide a cozy atmosphere if used right...

Actually, I lied, there is one instance where the weather ender up having a deeper meaning.

Emily finds Hawkins Lab because she needs to seek shelter from a rainstorm, so when she first meets Henry, she's soaked in rainwater... which is exactly how Mike found Eleven in season one. This even carries over in The Weirdo from Saint Valentina's, the title even being in reference to that episode, "The Weirdo on Maple Street."

No, I don't think Mileven is endgame, but it was an unintended parallel that I kind of liked and ran with.

Other than that, I wouldn't think too hard about the weather in my fics.

Clothing... again, not much goes into the thought about clothing. Nine times out of ten I put my characters in something I randomly sketched out or something I found on pinterest that I thought looked cool. But something that I do enjoy doing is using a fashion base and sketching outfits for specific scenes both as a reference to me and just because I like the creativity that comes with it. They're kind of like concept sketches to some degree.

Some OCs have more sketches than others, of course. I drew out basically every dress Olivia is seen wearing in "A Song of Stars and Magic" and there are two others of these six panel samples for her, and one with just two.

Keira has a total of two six panels and one two panel sample (the labels started to become unhinged with her for fun)

Emily just has the one sample, but there's proof that sometimes these turn into early drafts since Emily's last outfit turned into a green tank top instead of green jacket/grey tank top

Emily also has a Diplopia sample, but I ended up writing more scenes than just these outfits, so some of them are up to the imagination.

And I'm working on my Necrosis samples as I write the fic.

But as you can see I have a trend of dressing my characters in primarily cooler shades because it's just a preference thing. I like blue/green/purple shades so I dress my characters in those. And sometimes I take inspiration from pinterest because I have a lot of outfits/dresses in my feed, like these two that I'll probably stick Emily into at some point.

I looooove using Alicent Hightower stills for Volturi Emily since she has the aesthetic and hair down pat. In fact sometimes my outfit inspiration for her comes directly from those scenes. Although with the Diplopia samples you can kind of see I borrowed from Rhaenyra's dresses, in particular the dress on the upper right hand side... so basically Volturi Emily is Alicent Hightower with Rhaenyra's wardrobe, for all intents and purposes.

...and once again I went waaaaaayyyy off the rails for simple questions. I'm sorry I can't help it. I just have a lot to say. By now, though, you're probably going in expecting this, so thank you for sending me asks with that mindset lmao. Feel free to ask me anything at any time, of course. These take me hours to finish, but it's something to do!

#fishgills speaks #writing asks #ask box #spider man oc #avengers oc #stranger things oc #twilight oc #fanfiction #fanfic asks #beloved mutuals #my inbox is open

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kaleuh · 2 years

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I made a life decision two days ago that may change everything drastically again ahahaha

I love my job very much. It's the only thing I've felt 100% good at career-wise. Even when I worked in production, everything seemed so daunting and big that I always had to hide how afraid I was to undertake certain tasks I was assigned. I would always do my job happily, of course, but with half of the responsibilities given to me, there was always an undercurrent of, "when are they going to realize that i'm a fraud? i shouldn't be touching any of this, these projects are too cool and important for my clumsy hands, etc."

Of course, a lot of the fear was related to the post-production work I was assigned. I'm not an editing expert, by any means. But the pre-production work? Oh man. That was where I felt completely in my element. Creating pitch decks and finding stories and doing talent outreach and organizing set lists and script coordination? That was my jam!! Sure, half of pre-production is administrative tasks, but even doing those felt so invigorating. I love getting to be involved in any aspect of a script. Hell, if it wasn't for scripts and screenwriting, I kind of feel like I wouldn't have survived the past three years.

The way I've been able to find contentment and stability at all in the past three years is because of two things: my current job, and fully immersing myself in my own private writing projects. My current job is more marketing/data related, but it still revolves around the creative industry, which I love. So I'm never not being creative, but...it also pays like garbage. Everything else about it is perfect - I get to work from home, I love my coworkers, I find the work to be incredibly easy and fulfilling, but...this salary won't allow me to build a future for myself. It's a small company, and we've hemorrhaged employees left and right in the past few years. I've gotten "Employee of the Month" more times than I can count. There keeps being stated promises of "things getting better" but...I'm the top performer in my department and all they ""were able"" to give me this year was a 50 cent raise. Meanwhile, my boss lives in a gorgeous house in a rich neighborhood.

A few days ago, I was ruminating on the fact that my entire department (despite being told we're "the backbone of the company") still lives with their parents and cannot even afford a studio (we're all in our late 20's or early 30's.) This includes my manager, who is working himself to the bone for very little money. So I thought, "you know what, fuck it," and out of curiosity did a 1-minute job search. I did not count on finding anything interesting. I did.

Let me tell you, I did not count on finding a job that aligned with my exact employment history, that is also remote. It's marketing, which I'm good at. But it's screenwriting, which I'm passionate about. A fresh posting. $50k per year. My god, I felt my stomach turning as I watched my hands move faster than my head to apply. I felt like a guilty wretch, like a total backstabber to my department, the thing that has given me stability in the worst years of my life. But my god, how am I to have any good years ever again if I cannot start my life?

I'm sick to my stomach, attempting to rid myself of the one stable thing that has kept me afloat. And what do I gain in return? Change? My mortal enemy? Why do this to myself? Why rock the boat? It's not a stable boat, it's a raft on a river, or as I like to call it, a courtesy rental of a room in my friend's mom's house.

But I suppose that's the problem. I live in someone else's home. It's not my own place. My friend's mom is a very good landlord (even though there is no such thing) but at the end of the day, I'm still living in some lady's house. Sure, it's nice to live with one of my best friends, but it still feels like I live with a family that is not my own. I can't decorate this place like it's mine. I can't sing at the top of my lungs. I barely get any privacy, and there have been so many animals in this house that I'm allergic to pretty much everywhere except my room.

The point is, I can't stay here forever. And if I want to dream of having anything of my own, then things have to change. But this means leaving my friend, and leaving my coworkers. I have no idea where the future will lead me if I get this job, and that makes me want to vomit. Pretty much all change has been bad in the past few years. but i want to hope again. i want to hope i can see the sky and the sun and the clouds again one day. i want to hope change can be good for me again.

I hope I get it. I fucking hope I don't. I hope I never hear back from them, I hope I never even get an interview. I hope I do.

#int. this room. night. int. this room. day. int. this room. night. int. this room. day. int. this room. night. int. this room. day. int. th #Kayla's personal life #get me ext. of here

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tvrningout-archived · 2 years

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KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER.

tagged by: @londonfallen and @hauntedreality, if i'm not mistaken! thank you both very much!!!!

tagging: i can't be sure who has and hasn't done this yet, so!! steal it and say i tagged you!!

Name: bel! it's an alias with a silly explanation that i might just explain if you ask ;)

Pronouns: she/her

Preference of communication: discord simply bc tumblr im's tend to glitch on me, though i won't lie... i'm pretty hit and miss with messages in general ;n; sometimes i do really well, and other times i think it's been only two days since i messaged back and it's really been two weeks. that being said, pls don't be afraid to nudge me or remind me! i swear i'm never ignoring someone on purpose -- i just get busy and then very forgetful.

Name of muse(s): i have so many at this point :' ) but i can say the muses i reach for most often are chiyo, hyouka, and kaiya. i can pretty much write any of my muses any of the time, though!

Experience/how long (months/years?): i guess with the new year finally here, i can officially say i've been rping for 10 years!! which is crazy to me!!

Platforms you’ve used: mainly tumblr, but with some friends in the past, i've used skype, kik, and discord. i did have a twitter for one rp group once upon a time, but that didn't really stick.

Pet peeves / dealbreakers: just basically don't be rude and don't be gross and we're good! i'm kinda at the point where i try to be very careful and wary of who i follow anyway, and i will say if i see " highly selective towards oc's " in someone's rules, i usually won't follow first thanks to a bad experience.

Fluff, angst, or smut: all of the above B))) fluff does tend to be my favorite, but i like to mix angst in and get a nice hurt/comfort thing going. if i write straight angst, i like there to be some fluff to console everyone at the end :' ) as for smut, it's something i'll write for ask prompts mostly, but with someone i'm comfortable with, i wouldn't mind writing threads out! it's my mushy side coming out, but i think it can be really romantic -- or playful and fun or whatever it needs to be in the moment, and i'd love to explore that aspect of my muses more!

Plots or memes: both, but i'm probably a lil faster with memes :' )

long or short replies: both, but let's face it... if i'm involved, that reply is gonna end up on the long side asdfg

Best time to write: i used to think late at night, but i really think it's just whenever i have a quiet moment, which just happens to be at night most of the time. i need to feel like there aren't any pressing matters for me to be most productive.

Are you like your muse(s): hmmm maybe in bits and pieces? i do gift my muses lil aspects of myself sometimes -- like chiyo's love for shounen manga ( including the series she grew up with asdf ). i think if i were to say i'm most like any of my muses, it'd probably be makiko bc i, too, am on the shy side with new people and get in my head about what they might think of me uvu we're both works in progress and that's okay!

#get ready to ramble | ooc #thanks again for tagging me!!#these are always fun to do and a nice way to get to know each other!

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djuvlipen · 2 years

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okay it has calmed down a bit so regarding the past events (the "trans holocaust discourse"), I just want to say that I generally try to avoid getting involved with all kinds of discourses debates and "drama" as possible, and I try to avoid interacting with TRAs because in both cases I know nothing productive will come out of the conversation and I want my account to be as agreeable and peaceful and useful as possible (i know this makes me sound self centered lol), because I really hate cyber bullying and the anti-social environment the internet cultivates

That being said I do regret the aggressivity I have shown to that one TRA and I am sorry for the mean things I said to them, I reacted emotionally when I should have been calmer. I know it's no excuse but I've been sleeping and eating poorly and I've also been overworking myself (as I've mentioned repeatedly I am a history major studying the Holocaust so I just spend my days reading testimonies and books about it) and my nerves got the best of me

Now regarding the radfem who commented on my pinned post (the one about racialized sexism targeting romani women) in which she says part of the responsability lays on the Roma because of our culture's misogyny, tendency to beg and to do crimes. I do acknowledge that all romani cultures are very sexist and that is why I will always defend romani women more than romani men. I also condemn all the bad actions and the misogyny that comes from romani men. I do know that Roma are at higher risks of living in poverty and to me that poverty is what leads to higher criminality and to begging. From my experience, it is wrong to say that Roma like to beg, do crimes and steal children, and to say that these are part of our culture. Absolutely none of the Roma I know (my family, my friends, my neighbours, my classmates) have ever kidnapped children or begged. It is also wrong to think (once again, from my experience) that Roma contribute nothing to society. My mom is an industry worker who works hard everyday because she is a single mother. Several of my aunts and cousins are nurses taking care of the elderly and of disabled people. Another aunt of mine is a school teacher. I am in my fourth year of uni right now. If anything, poverty has kept my relatives from getting into higher education and getting the jobs they wanted. That being said, I also think the Roma who do indeed have to resort to begging should receive help and shouldn't be scolded or hated, because I know how dehumanizing and traumatic poverty can be and I don't think anyone would choose to be poor, nor that any race of people should be seen as innately economically parasitic (if that makes sense). I am not trying to guilt trip anyone by saying this. I am not crying about racism. I know that I can't change the way people think about us but if you disagree with me about all this I would kindly appreciate that you don't tell me about it because it kinda hurts me and that's why I react emotionally (but once again it's not an excuse for me to be aggressive and mean)

I am not dwelling into self-pity here. I know the two people I'm talking about have blocked me so they won't see this, but I just want to acknowledge my mistakes and state once again that I want my blog to be as hate-free/discourse-free as possible

#i am so exhausted etc etc

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libraryofcirclaria · 23 days

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04 September 1281

Library of Circlaria

Third Level Society: First Version

Story Six: Meona Bell

The first task of the day was to venture over to the Dungeonmaster's Office to meet with Julian Mackwell and Mary Kormann.

Dyla Cormick had been the leader of the Project developing the Immersion Console model, the very same invention I used this week when engaging Captain Bornan again. It had been developed over the past year and was implemented for the first time in mid-May, shortly after the end of the Spring Semester. However, though Cormick was the leader of the initiative, it was Mary Kormann's idea.

In fact, I was a bit perplexed when reading up on this over the past couple of days, for I did not see any mention of direct involvement by Kormann, herself, other than the approval of the final product.

And then it all made sense when I arrived at Julian's Office.

Dyla Cormick had planned to be there but had to cancel at the last minute due to an unexpected matter; so it was just Mary and the Dungeonmaster. We shook hands and introduced each other, but then came a lull in the conversation. So I decided to show the two how my hand healed. Julian looked shocked but then Mary squealed and went "Oh wow!" repeatedly with bubbling glee.

So we got into serious conversation. I asked Mary to tell a story of her background. Apparently, she was, indeed, of the very same Kormann family involved in the notorious Weyne-North feud from this past summer.

That made me shudder, hearing all the news going around these days on the sudden eruption of street violence and family members assassinating each other. Apparently, the Weyne and North families had been at odds with each other over the past 50 to 100 years, fighting over properties and will terms. Why they were to begin with, I don't understand. What I do know is that, a few years back, the owner of a very important house in the North family had passed away. Her will handed the house to a married couple in that family who then died under mysterious circumstances, leaving uncertainty in terms of who the house would go to, since the said married couple did not write a will. This went to the courts where it was shelved temporarily for next year due to a mistrial.

So that left the house vacant. Apparently, someone from the Weyne side broke in and tried to set up a base for darkfire cartels in that residence. But then someone from the North side confronted them; and thus a violent spellfire duel broke out, setting the house on fire, if I remember correctly. It was during that incident that a prominent member of the Weyne side was killed.

The Weynes retaliated a few weeks later in a "street battle" down near the town of Orsbendock. And then a few weeks after that, a gang from the North family attacked a group of Weynes up in Gymia. Of course, both the Weynes and Norths have friends, who got involved in the violence, attacking the opposing family or their friends in quite the deadly ongoing exchange of retaliation. There are, of course, a handful of counties between me and North Kempton under federal lockdown as I write.

So where does the Kormann family enter into this?

The two people who broke into that house starting the violence were a young woman from the Weyne side and her boyfriend from the Kormann family. The Kormann family is friends with the Weyne family. But both of those families are split between those who support the prohibition against illegal darkfire trade and those who have friends in the darkfire business, including Ceri Mains.

Now honestly, up to this point, I've actually developed a feeling that though darkfire is dangerous when it falls into the wrong hands, this whole prohibition by the Retunian federal government against the darkfire community is quite an overextension. I am especially peeved by all that sentiment established by that radio host, Reonard Chaney, who I have come to realize is not an expert on the matter, but more of a propagandist.

And this had more harm on Middle Remikran society than good. For example, the Cabboton University handball mascot, the Wrayth-Hunters, really is morally wrong.

Everything around that mascot, especially the image figure itself, encompasses someone like Daniel Orville Carter going out and hunting down those involved in darkfire, including those with Involuntary Darkfire Conjuration Syndrome, who really have no control over conjuring darkfire. The fact that this demographic is grouped among dangerous darkfire cartels makes me quite furious.

In fact, I've read in the recent past that Holz Finzi became the aggressive gangster he is today because he had Involuntary Darkfire Conjuration Syndrome and was victimized for it.

Of course, contrasting this with the fact that darkfire, when in the hands of dangerous people, can influence minds of individuals and the masses to commit actions deemed morally wrong, that leaves a very important unanswered question: How do we grant freedom and rights to those innocent people of the darkfire community without allowing darkfire to be used in harmful ways?

I was pondering that question when I looked at Mary Kormann. She seems quite pale and sickly. I cannot put my finger on it but she seems to have a "pieced-together appearance."

Mary had been talking about her Immersion Console idea, so I asked her a certain question: "Who was the most involved in this project? Was it you or Dyla?"

And I meant that in an endearing way, however, there was yet another burning question I had. And Mary answered it perfectly with this: "Only behind the curtain mostly. I don't make too many public appearances. I don't play in the Arturian Realm. In fact, I hardly come out of my room. And that's because...of the lady behind the glass." "Ceri...?" I started, but stopped when I saw Julian nodding fervently.

So it was true, Mary had seen Ceri Mains. Someone had taken her to the visiting booths at the Mount Carris Perimeter.

"Who took you to see her?" I asked.

"My brother," Mary said. "He said she was a really, really good friend. He said she wanted to meet me but couldn't come visit us. So he took me to her."

"You don't have to answer this if you don't want to," I said. "But what did she want to talk to you about?"

"The dymensional plane thing," she said. "I made my own. And it was really good, or so my brother said. It had hills and lakes and birdies and sheep and cows...He told the glass wall lady about it and she asked if I made it all myself. I said 'yes.' And she said 'oh wow.'"

"And then what happened?" I asked.

"Oh...well..." And as she said that, her pale and sickly appearance grew more intense for a moment. Then she said, "I just want to forget for now."

"That's understandable," Julian said. "Maybe another time."

After Mary left to go back to her dormitory, I said to Julian, "I don't want to sound rude, but how old is she."

"She's nineteen years old," Julian said. "That's what she told me. Of course, it may not seem it. As you can tell, she has a lot of health issues."

"What a shame," I said. "She seems very talented, having designed that Console and built an entire dymensional plane herself."

And indeed there was a part of me that felt suddenly quite protective for Mary. I realize now that she is precious cargo. Yes, I believe that the darkfire prohibition is quite morally unjust in its extent, but I will address that later.

In the meantime, Julian and I reconvened in his Dungeonmaster's Office later that evening, and he had much more to say.

"I'm very concerned," he said. "Ceri Mains may be wanting to use Mary Kormann to infiltrate the Arturian Realm. If that's true, then it wouldn't be the first attempt."

"I know a lot about what happened in the beginning here," I said. "With Daniel Carter and Darius Weller."

"Dymensional planes have notoriously been good places to hide darkfire scripts. That played a huge role in many TableQuest games having gone awry in the past, or so Ivella has told me."

"I'm glad to hear that you, as a Dungeonmaster, are in touch with the Founder, Ivella Ogden."

"I try to be. But I have a problem now. I know that the Arturian Realm has in-built mechanisms to prevent darkfire scripts from being stored there, but those mechanisms were designed and made back in 1243. And you know how much things have changed since then.

"So shortly after news of Ceri Mains' escape, Mary Kormann came here, having enrolled in the University. I knew right away that she had health issues. And I learned pretty quickly that she was an extraordinarily brilliant individual. However, it was when, through talking with her, that I realized she was of the same Kormann family involved in that feud that I feared for her and our Society.

"You see, Meona, it seems to me that this whole Weyne-North feud is about darkfire, not that one house. I think Finzi is trying to pull something serious here. Something secret. He's having Ceri Mains acting on his behalf. Did you notice things in that feud were at fever pitch when Ceri Mains broke out?"

"A distraction," I said.

"Exactly," Julian continued. "So when she joined the Society last month, Mary came to me, directly to me, for protection. She felt vulnerable and distrustful of even other Members of the Society."

"Are you saying that it's possible that there's already an inside job here?"

"No. But there are people who have her scared. For example, the notorious Kara Martins. Don't get me started on that," Julian said. "Kara Martins has been accusing a prominent Member named Taylor Lorens of attempting to sway Mary Kormann after she joined forces with Mary Kormann and the Project, serving as kind of a liaison between Mary and Dyla. Kara Martins stated that Taylor got herself into this position on purpose because of how close and intimate this was to Mary, even though Dyla is Mary's roommate. Martins reasoned that Taylor was using this to sway Mary into doing things in the best interest of Ceri Mains. And though the accusation was completely unfounded, Kara had somehow convinced the Bookkeeper to have Taylor's Membership suspended.

"Now of course, I stepped in and submitted a very long letter to the Bookkeeper on how Kara was completely out of her league to do this, and how her reasoning and what she called evidence was not sound. That was last week. Taylor is still suspended on paper, but we are straightening that out.

"But now Kara is accusing me of 'playing favorites.' She's saying that Dyla Cormick is a secret Ceri Mains accomplice as well.

"So you can see how high the stakes are, Meona. I sent word by ticker to Ivella Ogden, who as you know, resides in the Mid-Westerlies Isles. Well, due to the intense nature of the matter, I sent word to the Post Office to dictate a telegram to be sent to Ivella to have her come meet with me here to sort this out. That was in mid-June. Ivella sent a reply stating that she would come and bring with her the original Algorithm Book by no later than Saturday June 24th. No sign or word from Ivella since."

"I can imagine how that's concerning," I said. "Have you tried speaking with Daniel Carter, though? Maybe he heard from her."

"I wouldn't count on it," Julian said. "I don't know if you heard, but they've actually not been seeing eye-to-eye lately. You know that Ivella has that 'sanctuary clinic' for those Involuntary Darkfire people, right?"

"I was thinking of that issue just today."

"Me as well," continued Julian. "Basically, she's having patients reside temporarily in natural but isolated environments so that they can naturally let off their darkfire conjurative tendencies without placing anyone in harm's way."

"That does sound like a better alternative to the main type of treatment."

"And it's simply walk-in appointments. No involuntary commitments or anything like that," Julian said. "Unfortunately, Daniel Carter is not so keen on this idea, knowing his career and calling. He has not tried to get Ivella Ogden to stop, more like he's gone a bit silent on her. So no. Daniel Carter is not a good way to reach Ivella, which is a shame because I have to give a conclusive speech to the Caucus this week."

"Understood sadly," I said.

"You know the Dungeonmaster elections are coming up, right? And I still have some big shoes to fill, especially given the chaotic situation with Ceri Mains and Mary Kormann, and then Kara Martins and Taylor Lorens. And then you heard about Sarah Marks and Cody Brine, right?"

"I spoke to Sarah yesterday, I believe."

"Right. Same situation. Furthermore, that Caucus Meeting coming due was originally scheduled for tomorrow. But Dyla needs to be there, and she had an important conflict. So we had to push this to Thursday. And I'm sure the Members feel inconvenienced about that."

"Indeed," I said. "Maybe perhaps I could see if there is another way to reach out to Ivella?"

"I'll be doing that," Julian said. "In the meantime, please keep a close eye on Mary. It seems you're more seasoned than I am in the Third Level Society, though it's been years since you've been here."

I agreed to that. Honestly, I didn't know what else to say or do to make Julian feel better. I'll have to think on this as the week goes on. I have to say that I am glad I never assumed the full Dungeonmaster position.

<- 03 September 1281 <- || -> 05 September 1281 ->

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