#and the only thing people would process is: “OMG SHE READS FANFICTION!!?!?”

[kindheartedgummybears]

so yall know how TDIM takes place in 2022 right? so theoretically things like Twitter, Tiktok, Tumblr, Instagram, ETC. would exist right?

so like, do you guys think that Kate would have Pedro Pascal-type edits made of her?💀💀

[princesscolumbia]

And now for something different from my usual!

Normally, I write some variety of fanfiction, and I'm 100% proud of nearly everything I've ever written. (Yes, even THAT one.) If I could, without any sort of IP complications, write just for fanfic I'd streamline my process and chunk out words for fanfics all day long, get a book contract, and quit my day job. In a friggin' heartbeat.

Unfortunately, fanfic has all sorts of complications if you want to make a living as an author. This, unfortunately, results in fanfic authors either quitting because the whole thing is a time sink and they have a life a job and things to get done, or they become "grown up" authors with a publishing deal and (in many cases) wind up deleting their fanworks in bulk "because they're Srs Riters™️now!"

When I wrapped up My Empire of Dirt, I took a look at the finished product and said, "...you know, I think I might just be good at this writing thing." But I had in my head the little monster that wasn't quite Imposter Syndrome (more like an ugly cousin of Imposter Syndrome) that said that no matter how good I was, nobody would ever like what I wrote, especially if it was original work.

(This was my stepmother's horrible, abusive language that she hammered into me viciously during my teenage years. Knowing the source helps, but it's still something I have to work to overcome on occasion.)

I had some ideas that I started jotting down (and yes, they're still on the 'to write' pile), but nothing really 'clicked' as a, "OMG, I've got to write this thing!"

Then I read Trouble with Horns. And I needed more, so I read Witch of Chains...and Illegal Alien in an MMO World, and Lieforged Gale, and Digital Galaxies, and Esmie the Calamity, and Coven's Rebellion, and Digital Exodus. And even as early as Witch of Chains I knew I had a story to tell that the setting of a post-WW3 Earth in the middle of The Singularity would let me tell it in.

And I realized...wait, this is it! This is my "training wheels" for writing original fics! Because QuietValerie won't do collabs with other authors anymore (long story involving the Kammiverse and RoyalRoad), but does let people play in her sandbox with carte blanch (and, best of all, no lawyers involved), I can write a fic that's got only a few connection points to Troubleverse to prop it up and draw an audience, and if AuthorBun ever disavows Code of Ethics entirely, it'll take some work but I'll be able to de-couple it entirely! It's, from the outset, 95% original work. If I have to re-jigger that last 5%...well, published authors often have to rework a LOT more of their original works than that, so...let's do this!

And it's worked for me! ALL the hesitance I used to have for writing original fics is gone. I've created interesting, dynamic characters, built out entire story worlds, constructed a complex and interwoven plot that has my readers guessing and thirsty for clues, and the only reason I haven't finished is because there's just so much story to tell!

So for this November (and no, I'm not digging into the whole NaNoWriMo corporate BS right now), I decided to take an idea that, just like Code of Ethics, seized me by the throat and said, "This story is one that needs to be told and you're the only one who can."

George lives in a world that feels gray. In spite of superheroes based in the city he lives in with his mom, the clubs he's in at school, and the handful of friends he's managed to pick up, at ripe old age of 15 years old he feels disconnected from it all. Then one day a Quantum Storm hits. These storms are how superheroes (and villains) get their powers, and George is right in the middle of it, suddenly granting him super powers…along with a brand new GIRL body! Fortunately for HER, she stumbles onto a mentor at the same time. …that all happened six months ago. Now she's in a hospital on the West coast, super-cuffed to a bed, and about to answer for her crimes…including murder. How did this happen?!

Preview, as always, below the cut:

Georgie woke up.

She was somewhat surprised to discover that she was even alive, let alone awake. After what she’d done, she was surprised that anyone had let her live at all.

After what she’d done, she probably deserved it.

It wasn’t fair, of course. It never was, but complaining about whether life was fair or not only led down the path of the supervillain, heroes accepted that life wasn’t fair and participated in the Sisyphean task of making it more fair.

She’d learned the word ‘Sisyphean’ in English class a few weeks ago. She’d never quite understood why the former-hero-turned-villain Sisyphus had gone black-cape until recently, nor had she understood how his chosen name connected to the work he had been doing. Now that she had some experience being a superhero, she thought she understood better than anyone not blessed with superpowers could.

No matter what good you did, at some point it all came crashing down.

She looked around a bit, noticing the room she was in was dark, but there was a counter with a sink across from her, a lightbox mounted to the wall, a television mounted to the ceiling, and some translucent curtains over some windows showing it was about mid-afternoon…wherever she was. What little she could make out of the landscape through the curtains didn’t look anything like the city she lived in. I was running for a long time, she mused, And for me that’s saying something.

She turned her attention back to the room and noted there was an I.V. pole next to the bed she was in and a tube snaking down to what she presumed was the pinching sensation in the back of her hand. She couldn’t follow the tube all the way down to look at her hand, not yet. Had anyone else been in her spot, they might have been overjoyed to be alive after what she’d been through. Not her, though.

For her, there was a fate worse than death, and she wasn’t ready to face that yet.

On the other side of the bed was what appeared to be a heartrate monitor, but she was no expert on medical equipment. The bit that was supposed to be showing the two-peak bumping line that represented a human heartbeat was an almost solid bar of white, though the flickering of the screen told her that it was desperately trying to record a heartrate that was far faster than the machine was capable of registering.

There was no getting around it, she was in a hospital room, and a fairly high-end one, if she could rely on what she’d seen of such things on TV as an indication.

As for the part that came next, well, she had to muster her courage…and after everything she’d been through, ‘courage’ was a word she wasn’t sure she had any claim to.

It was surprisingly hard, knowing what was coming and knowing she had to face it. Just a little longer, a voice was whispering in the back of her mind, Just let yourself imagine nothing has changed just a little bit longer, it’s not like you’re not going to find out soon enough anyway.

Available exclusively to my supporters on Patreon.

[itsmarsss]

me reading the chapter actuauly

ogm omfgdsjg; d i cant this is so much blitzo constantly thinking of readers words and them lingering in his mind omg i need them to make up i cannot stand this wht he hell he think that no one will be there to cross out the o but i guarantee reader with her saggy ass and titties (as an old lady) would cross the rings to do so

him hating the weekend sfngdg i canot your depictions of him feel so in character it makes me think you are a writer for the show i cannot believe that this fic is literally changing my life (for the better) ofmfks

SEEING THAT TEY TEXTED CONSISTENLY AND IT MADE HIM NOT HATE WEEKENDS AS MUCHDSG and they made it a habit to spend the weeksends together to hate them less i cannot stnat this omsg my heart

"Maybe it’ll be in one of those days when he’ll be climbing up Stolas’ balcony and then he’ll slip and fall and break all his bones only to be found dead on the grass surrounded by ball gags and anal plugs" this took me out SO BAD lmfao i just stared at my screen like

BUT THEN IMEDDIENYL HAD TO TURN AWAY BC OF THE "PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT FOLDER"

mars when i actch you mars i will fnaf jumpscare you irl this is not it. BABRIE AND HIS MOM WHAT IF I BROKE DOWN??? THEN YOU FOLLOW IT UP WITH "blitz is a 35year old single father who kills people...But in this moment… he just wants his mama." LIKE??? HOW DARE YOU ???? THAT IS SUCH A SORE SPOT BC I FEEL LIKE CRYING EVERYTIME I HEAR AB OLD POPEL MISSING THEIR PARENTS AND IT SLIKE FUGHG crying as i think ab it actually whi cant stand this

then his thought process the whole party omg he literally just wanted an escape to not feel. i cant do this anymore him asking loona to call him dad i crided

then when they leave he pulls out his phone to draw and i jsut sdjfdg i died

NOW FOR THE CONVO WITH STOLAS?? UFHH you probably grabbed it from the many ss of their messages that are shown but still omg his immediate backtracking made me want to pull my hair out bc no thats not how you talk UGHHH

then him asking loona if she would be there when he is old and she is like "ill be there dad" i cant i fucking hate this show why would they do that to me (then he vomits)

literally me after reading blitz portion

FIZZ FIDNING READER OGM he must've felt bad bc he was liek "fuckk that was the chick with blitz and stolas oph shit fuck cock"

reader having no one other than ozzie (in that moment) to go to ufhg (get this woman some friends) and their whole convo what if i

her asking ozzie if he thinks she stupid bc blitz words are echoing in her mind just as much as hers did in his omg i need them to kiss and make up please someone grow communcation skills FUCKING

stolas message with her is so late i cant stand this i think i wills start fcrying again

also her expecting a "fuck you" message from blitz only to get something that made her feel better mars stop this

this is madness when i get you i am shaking you really hard LMFAO

anyways those are my thoughts plz tell my u times this bc idk how long this took

this is the most in-depth comment anyone's ever sent me for my writing and i actually wanna cry

every time you talk about how invested in this you are and how much you love it i feel like crying djmdjmvjfk its just like i cant believe someone would care enough to leave me THIS this is so cool and so fucking nice!!

the thing about how he used to hate weekends because it meant he'd be alone and how he stopped hating them once reader came into his life came from a little blurb thingy i never ended up posting, and i felt it fit right into this chapter!

i liked writing this one a lot because the chaos in blitzos head allowed me to be all over the place and cover a lot of different stuff at once lol it was pretty cool

whenever anyone says something abt my writing being really in character it makes me feel so proud i just get so happy that it feels like ya know im taking these characters people care so much for that they're reading fanfiction about them and writing them from my perception and its so cool to have people feel like im doing them justice!!

the death with the sex toys part was a... choice lmao i thought it'd be funny to use the way blitzo's thoughts are all over the place to convey how easily they go from dumb thoughts to really depressive ones

oh the asking loona to call him dad again was added just to hurt yall i wont make excuses its there to be evil lol

yeah the convo w stolas was mostly taken out of the texts we see in stolas' phone in western energy, but i altered a few things here and there but yeah omfg what always got me with those texts is exactly that. like hes so so desperate to have things be okay he backtracks everything he's trying to say just to not feel that blitz is mad at him

i thought i could also add the layer of blitzo beeing too drunk to reply properly which is another reason for the texts to seem so cold

and ohhh yeah the thing with fizz finding her is that its both a 'fuck what i did hurt this girl' and also that kind of 'idk what to do rn' feeling of interacting with your partner's friends who you're not close enough to to have like a real conversation with lol

yeahhh im glad it was possible to catch that lol the chapter was v blitzo centered so we go through reader's pov of things very wuickly but yeah what blitz said abt her kept echoing in her mind just as much as what she said to him did in his!!

i thought the whole 'expecting a fuck you' thing would be fun to add in considering he does consider sending her a fuck you text in the beginning of the chapter lol

and seriously i think having the doodle there instead of just a description of it made it all so much more motional thank you so so much for it!!! i hope you liked the birthday gift!!!! happy birthday babes!!!!!

[kokinu09]

10, 11, 12, 13, 17, 18, 25, 29, 34 and 35 ☺️

Hot damn!! You’re basically giving me a quiz at this point! 😂

Let’s jump right into it shall we?

10. What's your favorite part about the fic writing process?

My favorite part of the process is honestly the planning. I love when something just hits me with inspiration and a story start building in my head.

11. Are there any tropes that you particularly enjoy writing?

I’m a sucker for romance so usually those types of tropes are what I’m gravitate towards. But more recently, I’ve been writing some underdog, overcoming adversity tropes.

12. Are there any clichés or tropes that you actively avoid in your fics?

I am actually pretty open to just about anything but I’m sure you could throw something at me and I’d find out I’m not so much 😂😂😂

13. What's the most challenging aspect of writing fanfiction for you?

Does ‘finding time to write’ count? 😂 No? Ok. 😂 So dialogue is actually the hardest thing for me because I really try to think about what the characters would say and sometimes that’s really difficult given fic topic or scenario 😂

17. What's the most memorable comment or review you've received on one of your fics?

I remember the first time I got a play-by-play review and omg it made me grin like a f*cking idiot at work. To this day, those types of reviews make me giddy and giggly.

18. Are there any fics or authors that have been particularly influential or inspiring to you?

Umm??? You??? 😂😂😂 I have been following your writing since before we ever even actually talked and I still strive to encapsulate even a glint of your ability to describe environment and feeling. I am also super inspired by @kangaracha. It amazes me the sheer amount she writes and it never ever feels like word vomit. We all know NEVERMORE is one of my favorite fics, and man the world building?? F*cking impeccable. 😩👌❤️ I have such talented friends!!

25. Are there any specific writing tools that you find helpful?

Google. I use Google to figure out what words I’m trying to think of all the time 😂 “hey google, word that means XYZ” 😂😂😂

I also use Grammarly for quick editing

29. Are there any characters, relationships, or general character dynamics you've never written about but would like to try?

Geez, I’m not sure 🤔 I’ve been sitting here trying to think of a dynamic I’ve not written that I want to and I’m coming up short 🤷‍♀️

34. Are there any fic writing tips or tricks you've learned along the way that you'd like to share?

Something I’ve had to relearn is fanfiction is meant to be for YOU. Write for YOU. Write what YOU would want to read and f*cking read it!! I got into the funk of trying to please readers too much and it felt like it put up a barrier (aka writers block) to where I just couldn’t bring myself to write. Now, I’m working on me and just working on what makes me happy.

35. What do you enjoy most about being a fic writer?

The people I’ve met and the friends I’ve made because of the fandoms ❤️ writing is the only way I actually put myself out there

Questions for Fic Writers

[melodygatesauthor]

Several questions if that’s okay)

what has been your fav fic to write? which ones have been a terrible process to write but you ended up loving? and what like perspective (like first, second, third) do you like the best/which do use the most do you find? (Me trying to get a hang of the perspective stuff-)

and a random wish of positive vibes for the rest of your day and hopefully longer!! tysm for your writing friend you’re amazing :D

Melody Gates Procrastinates

HEYYY! Yes ask ALL the questions you like bb (especially if the questions are this good!) <3

what has been your fav fic to write? -> This one was tough, I had to really think about it. If I had to pick the ONE that was my favorite to write (not necessarily my favorite one I've written) I have to pick Not a Doctor. Personally for me it was just a fun fic to write, and probably because it was VERY self indulgent.

I usually imagine a "character" for reader. Usually I have an idea in my head of how she looks (despite her being written completely blank for inclusivity) or how she acts. In this fic, I plopped myself down right into the fic mentally. I feel like I need to express that I would NOT slap Steven. The slap was meant to demonstrate just how INSANE she was going over this man.

I think it's no secret that Jake is my fave of the three, so I literally was like "I need to make this woman as crazy for him as I am" so I did. She can't stop thinking about him almost CONSTANTLY. She's doing insane things just to get his attention.

She's unHINGED, and so am I hehe.

----

which ones have been a terrible process to write but you ended up loving? -> Another good question. I feel like usually if I have a fic that I had a terrible time writing, I don't really like it very much. I do have a few of those lol. The Fractured Moon has been challenging to write for a couple of reasons.

The first being the content in general. I don't (obviously) have an issue writing about taboo topics like this, in fact I enjoy writing about those topics, but it's still hard to toe the line between making the boys completely unlikable, to making them likable enough despite the fact that they're SAing the reader on the daily and physically/mentally/emotionally abusing her after kidnapping her.

Second is the amount of story I'm cramming into them. This last chapter was about 15k or something? That's a long ass chapter lmao. The next one won't be as long I don't think, but I'm also planning some bonus chapters in order to add context. It's just a lot, but I love it.

----

what like perspective (like first, second, third) do you like the best/which do use the most do you find? -> Ok so this one is interesting haha. So when I very FIRST started really writing, I used to write in first person (I/Me). I was a teen when I started writing and that's how a lot of teen books were written at the time. I also remember when I wrote my first fic when I was 12, and I wrote in second person (you), and someone said "omg never write like that" so I thought it was bad and didn't for AGES.

Currently, for reader-insert fanfiction, I write in second person. To be clear, reader insert just means that you can "insert" yourself into the fic while reading. It's easier for most people to do that in second person, but you can really write reader insert from any perspective, not only second. That being said, I prefer to write in second person as it helps with immersion in my fics. This is also the most common one I see in fics from other writers!

I prefer to read regular fiction novels in third person personally. It's just easier for me to get into that way!

----

Thank you so much for the kind words! You're amazing!! Sorry this was so long lmaooo <3

[ficsandfandom]

Red, White and Royal Blue Rant (includes some spoilers)

Ok, I know I’m very late but my reading list is massive and I only read fanfiction for literal years so BookTok has bombarded me with books I need to read. Don’t hurt me.

Anyway, I read it yesterday- finished it last night and I was just sobbing on and off throughout the whole thing. I expected a wholesome story, but it hurt??? so much??? I related to it way to much and it just stabbed me in the heart many many many times. my eyes literally hurt from wiping away tears because I also cried at the happy parts because I’m a jealous person and seeing couples in love pains me- which makes being a romance reader very difficult. Anyway, here’s my main points:

1. The casual diversity had me in tears omg! We had queer characters, trans character, poc and they had key roles in the story. There were random people we met that weren’t written as default straight cis white characters and instead were unique in their own way- even if it was a one-line mention. I loved it.

2. When I started reading, I thought it was set way in the future and when someone said 2019 it kind of shocked me. Female President, mixed race First Family etc. just had me assuming the timeline was different. Which is incredibly sad. It is 2021 and this isn’t the norm. America- ‘land of the free’- hasn’t had a single female President. Not saying other countries are amazingly better but America is so often associated with equality and progressiveness when tbh it isn’t that amazing. But this story has given me very high hopes of the world which probably aren’t going to be met for a long time to be frank. So that’s not great.

3. The experiences of the main characters broke me so many times. There aren’t many bisexual main characters that I have come across and I thought both the leads were gay. So, when Alex came out as bi I had to stop reading for a few minutes and process it. The speeches at the end of the book had me in tears- again- because it is such a basic thing that hasn’t happened yet. The fact that they were celebrating that Ellen was the first female President made me so conflicted- because yes!!! you did it!! But in reality, we still haven’t.

4. I adore their relationship so much and their whole coming out experience h u r t so damn much. I’m an ethnic queer from a homophobic family/culture. So when Alex came out and was mainly supported by his family, I was in tears because that most likely will not happen for me. And when his mother said things about image and what others would think- even though she loved him, and he would always be her child- it hit too hard. And I think the worst part was that I didn’t blame her? Because with the risk of losing the election and their status it is the shitty reality that what people think matter.

5. When Henry came out and he was told to pretend and hide and keep up appearances, i was not at all okay. Now im not going to start ranting about homophobia but I will never understand why tf people care about who other people love. like ??? wtf dude? Why are you so fussed?

6. “What are we even defending here, Philip? What kind of legacy? What kind of family, that says, we’ll take the murder, we’ll take the raping and pillaging and the colonizing, we’ll scrub it up nice and neat in a museum, but oh no, you’re a bloody poof? That’s beyond our sense of decorum!”

This is what terrifies me about institutions of power- they excuse so much because it’s part of their 'history' but queer history is erased and ignored and buried and our present isn’t any better. They'll go to campaigns and start charities and shelters, but you can bet that if one of their kids came out as queer it'd be hidden- unless of course, it’s beneficial to their image.

Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a bisexual WOC who’s been a die-hard feminist since like 8, but this book broke me and put me back together again so many times. The fact that it is 2021, and simply reading a STORY about a romance between the bi, mixed race son of the first female President of America and the gay Prince of England make me feel this much feeling is very very sad.

I have no idea why this book is bashed so much and called basic because I genuinely loved it so much. I want everyone to read this, and I need people to stop hating on it because I was on tiktok while I was reading, and I was called a basic white woman who buys pride merch from the store down the road. What does that even mean?? /hj

This is another

MASSIVE RECCOMENDATION to go and read this masterpiece. And… if somehow you are late to the scene and this actually made you read it, tell me what you think after you finish!

[touchstarvedsam]

I was really gonna ignore that "superior"natural thing but I saw that they seem to have some talented artists. So I thought maybe they are doing something interesting (even if it's destiel) so I checked out their Google doc and omg I'm HOWLING! Eileen calls Sam moosie, Cas calls Dean squirrel. Dean calls Cas kitten, Sam calls Eileen otter. They say it's just a incollection of ideas that might not make it into the project, but you get a sense of what you're dealing with there. And this is from1/?

A brief perusal to see how much attention Sam gets compared to Dean & Cas (a word search gave 27/87/100 results for each respectively, so not too much attention to Sam. But sure, Sam is the favorite character of some of their writers). I'm sure a deeper reading will unearth more (like, Dean saying you are home to Cas, who says we're not at the bunker, Dean replies but you are home. That sounds like something Dean would say. And Dean wishes a tulpa into existence 'cause he misses Cas too much)2/?

They say they want to eliminate plot holes but it seems what's a plot hole depends on whether it serves their ship: purgatory stays (we know they love that arc) even if it makes no sense for Crowley and Cas to go through that much in S6 when apparently there are many ways in and out. Cas, the guy who failed at almost everything he's done, is a "master strategist". Every other retcon of later seasons stays as long as it serves ship purposes. Sam gets his fair share of attention but Dean is the3/?

One who teaches Cas about being human including the textures of food (Sam and Cas pbj moment erasure) and Cas should be the one to teach Jack about his powers (no mention of Sam and Jack's relationship). Other ooc things: Cas rides a bike and when Dean asks says it reminds him of flying. After Cain, Dean takes Cas to the farm for bees (?). Cas and Dean snuggle. Knowing Cas is alive gives demon Dean strength to fight to be cured? Dean speaks enochian to Cas. Cas making a mixtape for Dean. 4/?

Cas being in regarding Dean. "Baby jack walking around in cas’s trench coat going “I’m an angel”." Home alone type ep with Jack. Dean kissing cas's forehead when he's dead in 13.01. Crowley is Jack's godfather and gets him a hellhound pet. Sam has a pet fish? Dean sings you're my sunshine to Cas as he sleeps. "Uncle Gabe". Apparently John dropped Sam and Dean off at Bobby's all the time? I don't think this is canon? Keep 15.18 but change 19&20 (of course). There's no drama or angst like 5/?

Kevin's death or Crowley's death or anything that might add tension to the story. Unless of course it serves the ship so plenty of trauma for Cas including darkness (from the empty) and sharp objects (from Naomi). A small mention of Sam's trauma with Lucifer, thank God, but it's interesting that they have so little Sam. They can say they'll flesh out more arcs for Sam but it's clear he's not a priority from how he's not present where he should be. For example, Dean will explain everything 6/?

To Mary and break her out of her brainwashing. But where's Sam? She's his mother too. Other than Eileen Sam's most meaningful relationship seems to be with his pet fish (still confused about that). Even if this project gets better in the future, which I doubt, it's clear what the direction here is. It baffles me that they think this is superior to the show we have, as problematic as the show is. I wish them best of luck but I don't have any high hopes for this. Thanks for the laughs though. 7/7

Sorry for that long ass rant in your inbox. It's in the middle of the night but I'm cackling after reading their doc and I had to share it with someone. I thought you might find it amusing as well. Hopefully all my asks go through. On the one hand, I feel bad hating on a fan project. But the way they've positioned it ("superior"), the blatant disrespect to Sam, and all the shit their side has pulled since the finale (and long before that) has really irked me. Again, sorry.

I just- this whole thing was a whirlwind of nonsense, it took me a whole week to process it. I don’t even know where to start here, or if I want to just yeet my laptop out my bedroom window into the snow. They really consider their ideas superior to the original show? More like Inferiornatural, to be honest. Superinferiornatural? They can’t even seem to characterize them correctly, let alone come up with a decent plotline or idea.

So we’ll start with the nicknames, since that is where you started. The whole thing is painfully out of character, but the worst (and funniest) of them all is Dean calling Cas “kitten,” I might actually laugh myself into an early grave with that one. Dean gives nicknames to shorten people’s names (besides Sam; Sammy is the only person who gets an extended nickname). He’s not going to give someone a longer nickname than the original nickname he uses for them! And Cas wouldn’t actually give nicknames, especially not giving Dean the nickname Crowley gave him??? Otter?! Moosie?!  W H A T. Can we move on from grade school kiddie crush nicknames?

I’m currently manifesting Dean saying “kitten” in his gruff voice with that lip curl he does sometimes and I’m cracking up about it. Thanks for the amusement, heIIers.

Of course Sam would only be mentioned 27 times to Cas’ 100 because Sam means nothing to them. He’s only ever either been in their way or a cheerleader for that horribly characterized ship of theirs. I just love how, in order to make DestieI, they have to butcher the characters so irreparably that they’re unrecognizable. Good for them, they can’t even have fanfiction of their ship where the characters keep their canon personalities. 10/10 would laugh at again.

I love the Sam erasure. It’s true to the heIIers’ character at least. They’re a one-trick pony. I’m so used to it by now that I’m totally desensitized to their bullshit. But Dean speaking Enochian? What? When and how did he learn that? I can’t see Dean in his 30s sitting there willingly to learn the language of the angels. Not even if his “kitten” is the one to teach him. Dean doesn’t give a fuck about that. If any of them is going to learn Enochian, it’ll be Sam, and they can fight me on that. I will kick anyone’s ass that argues.

I hope the mixtape Cas makes for Dean is just 4 hours of that Spaghetti song by The Wiggles because Cas sucks at doing human things.

I’d love to see the Sam erasure in the Regarding Dean one. Just swap Sam out for Cas? So Cas is the only one Dean recognizes? Hmm. Where would Sam go? A smoothie place? Yeah, as if Dean would remember the angel who he’d barely known for 8 years at that time over Sam who he’d known since he was 4 years old, lol. Sure, Jan.

The entire 5th ask is WILD, nonnie. A pet fish? Dean singing you are my sunshine? Dean kissing Cas’ forehead? LMFAO. Crowley is Jack’s godfather. The KING OF HELL is Jack’s GODfather. I’m- hgfjdksl I’m sure Dean who was ripped apart by hellhounds would love for Jack to have a pet hellhound. Yeah. Absolutely. “Uncle Gabe” yeah, fuck that guy in particular. Honestly, I’m surprised they haven’t erased Eileen to make SabrieI endgame in their fic. SabrieI is the Sam version of DestieI. It’s just as nasty and abusive :) which was why the heIIers ship it. They’re into abuse. It’s their shtick.

I do wonder what the point of the fish is... Sam has always loved and wanted a dog... you’d think they’d give Sam a dog... but I forgot they don’t pay attention to the show unless the episode has Mushy in the credits. I literally saw a heIIer say they skipped episodes if Mushy wasn’t in the credits... so they don’t know how to characterize Sam or Dean, but from this message they don’t even know how to characterize Cas who seems to be their precious uwu baby angel so I’m not surprised. I can’t wait for them to start releasing this shitshow. It makes for good fodder to make fun of them all over again. They really watched a grand total of 146 out of 327 episodes and thought, “Yeah, my opinion about the show definitely matters,” and I think that’s fucking hilarious.

Sorry for taking so long to respond! Hope I did a good job, nonnie. <3

[wickedobsessed101]

Fanfic Writer Asks

[SOURCE: criminal-minds-fanfiction: Most of the writer ask posts I come across are only like ten or so questions long so I thought I’d try to make a longer one because we like talking about our writing! Feel free to reblog!]

I’m answering all of these b/c I love Q & A’s about my writing, both for my fics and other things.

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction? It was 2013, so I was 14 years old. I’m now almost 23.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one? I’m mostly in the Wicked Musical fandom, but I like to read for other fandoms, like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Chronicles of Narnia, ect.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer. OCs, but I’m more than willing to create an OC for someone based on characteristics they give me.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for? I love me some fluffy romance and hurt/comfort, but I also love some angsty drama.

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi-chaptered stories, which would it be and why? OMG, don’t make me choose! They’re all my babies! I love all my children equally! They all hold special places in my heart.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why? Goodness, most of my stories prior to 2017, because I was in high school and had no idea what I was doing because I was just getting my feet wet with writing.

7) When is your preferred time to write? Anytime really. The latest I’ve stayed up writing a fic was 4AM. *Glares at ‘Threads of Truth’*

8) Where do you take your inspiration from? Where ever it happens to come up. I’m not picky. Movies, music, people I’ve seen on the street, random thoughts that enter my head, anything.

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote? In ‘Threads of Truth’, it’s a tie between Villy’s first date, and an argument that happens in an upcoming chapter. And that’s all I’m saying about that.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind? In ‘Play The Game’, I liked the epilogue ending that I gave Elphaba with her family, even without Fiyero. I like writing her with kids. Another ending would be with the Fiyeraba still together, but I’m satisfied with the ending it has.

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it? I’ll go back and fix typos that are pointed out, but I don’t change plot stuff. Like, I wrote what I wrote and I will amend my technique in future stories.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why? Other than my OCs, because I get to fully create them and my lowkey babies, I’d have to say G(a)linda. She has so much potential and she’s so much fun.

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why? Boq. Not because I hate him (I don’t!), but because I don’t normally know what to do with him. If he’s not with Nessa, he’s literally just standing there like a brick wall. No offence, Boq!

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories. [Ask me about a specific story(ies)]

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names? I usually change consonants and vowels to already existing names, or add unnecessary letters because... reasons.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx? [Ask me about a specific story]

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on. “Hopefully, this will soak up any more leaks.” (Upcoming Wicked fanfic)

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them? Yes, 2. Both of them are a few years old and I’ve grown as a writer since then. Maybe one day, I’ll edit them and repost, but not anytime soon.

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to? Not everything can have a sequel, y’all! XD

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently? Yes! Around 60% of them.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire? @vinkunwildflowerqueen @raven-curls @mylittleelphie @weaselspeedfanfic Ultimate Queen of Cliffies

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it? This goes back to Question #6; most of what I posted prior to 2017.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence? Silence. I need to focus.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes? I can’t write it. They’ll make out, and then be pregnant in the next chapter. Y’all can do the math for yourselves.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story? YES! Yes, I have! Both sad tears and tears of joy. I’ve also cringed from second-hand embarrassment at the things the characters do and say. I’m not in control of their actions all the time. Sometimes they tell me what they’re gonna do, and I’m like, “Well, alright, then.”

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write? [Ask me about a specific story]

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow? I write bullet points of things I want to happen in a chapter on the Word Doc, or in the story as a whole, and I try to keep those bullet points in order. And the Notes App on my phone holds a lot of my ideas, and sometimes full scenes.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction? That I’d become obsessed with writing and continue doing it for almost ten years, as well as expanding to writing plays and musicals.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like? Yeah. I’m not gonna say which one, but just know there’s one... or a few.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at? Yes, and I’m still not gonna say which one(s). I want all the love!

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec, not the answerer) Yeah, sure!

32) Are any of your characters based on real people? Yes. Villy Doiir from ‘Threads of Truth’ is based on 4 people I know in real life, all mixed together into one wholesome, mother figure/ mentor. Perhaps that’s why I like writing her so much.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten? All reviews keep me going, no matter the length. But I love it when people review saying that they picked up on little references that were really just for me. It makes me feel like we’ve shared a moment.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten? A guest reviewer once said, “You tend to write Fiyero as an abusive person”. It wasn’t harsh, just... NOT TRUE. Especially for the story they were reviewing.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest? Close to my chest. I’ll share it with the world when I’m ready.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s? NOPE! You’ll just have to wait and see! LOL!

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written? I... really don’t know. My stories all have their funny moments.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it. I’m very busy, and collabs aren’t really my thing, but I’m always willing to lend an extra pair of eyes pre-posting.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person? I’ve written one story in the first person and it was fun to get into the character’s head, but I love third person, cause I like knowing what everyone is thinking. Second person makes me feel a certain way and that don’t really like.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction? IRL, no. It’s not something I bring up over dinner. I’ll talk about my plays and musicals, but not fanfiction. I like keeping my fics for the online peeps and my more personal writings for the RL peeps.

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written? My OC, Princess Hannalyn, from ‘A Royal Romance’. She was so much fun!

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx. I haven’t done a song fic.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it? Not fully, but they’ve had little inklings, but certain details were still a surprise. And I’m not mad about it.

44) What is the last line you wrote? “I don’t want this to be the last time we see each other.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process? When I’ll have one idea, and it spirals into many others, and when the characters write themselves. It makes it so much easier for me. Sometimes they tell me that they’re about to make a bad decision, and I just go along with it. They need to learn and grow somehow.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it? [Ask me for a specific story]

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about? [Ask me]

48) What’s your favourite trope to write? I love a good Royalty AU (not fully AU ‘cause of our princey-prince, but still) and Holiday AUs. And I’ve never written a Coffeeshop AU, but I LOVE reading them. I’ll read anything. I’m not picky, and I love to see what ideas others have.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about? Yes, and both of them were Gelphies: 1 - “Easier Said Than Done” by mecelphie - It’s part of a long, wonderful series of Elphaba and Glinda together at Shiz and how their lives evolve together and has many lovable OCs. 2 - “The Thropp Diaries” by denpa wave chick saki - It’s first-person Elphaba POV of the book. It expands on lots of mentioned moments and we get to journey through Elphaba’s thoughts.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? I’d have to say fluff, so I can get my escape from reality. But it’s hard to write pure fluff without a little bit of conflict.

If you wanna read my stories, they’re all right here: Fae’sFlower

[tundrainafrica]

Hi Sav! Hope all is well! Just wanna ask, do you get writer's block once in a while? If so, how do you fight it? How do you keep yourself motivated in writing?

Omg, thank you for the ask. 

I’m honestly surprised people are pretty interested in my writing habits because I guess no one in real life actually knows me as a writer so nobody really asks about this. But yeah, the good news is I do have a set way of how I go about writing so this is a pretty easy ask to navigate.

 So to answer your questions...

Just wanna ask, do you get writer's block once in a while?

Yes. I get it all the time. Writing the first few words of the next chapters of my fics or writing the first words of the fic given a prompt is always painful. 

If so, how do you fight it?

I actually have some concrete ways which help me keep my head moving so I’ll drop these here. I can’t say it works for everyone but yeah, it might help people I guess?

I write things which I wish would happen no matter how much it doesn’t make any sense.

That’s why when I’m writing a fic, I never start at the start or what I believe the first words will be. I have a document and I write skeletons of dialogues which I want to show up, I write scenes and interactions that I want to happen. 

All of my fics started from badly written notes. Most of them usually get deleted once the fic is done so I had to unearth these. I’ll drop a sample here of my shitty notes from fics I’ve been working on and some I actually finished. You might recognize some of the prompts from fics I’ve finished already

Canon fixit: fic where Hänge pulls Levi out of the water again, helps him wake up from his coma of Levi, the world just goes back to normal. Hange figures out her feelings for Levi, lives her cottage core life waiting for Levi to wake up and Levi discuss feelings for each other. reads romeo and Juliet ( is that us?) romeo and Juliet, gets a dream did it hurt?

Rekindle: sad songs more varied than happy songs, Levi saves Hänge drowning, works multiple jobs to make ends meet

 Levihanzeke love triangle Hange is a lawyer, Levi is an illegitimate child convicted criminal in a Ponzi scheme, that's the thing about rich kids, Mikasa agrees with him, tries to save him by feeding information Philosophy Other prompts 

Soulmates AU but a love child can be born from the love of someone else. Udo is the one who knows that Levijan are together, he goes with Gaby with them to Paradis and he tells them he knows them makes Levi and Hänge analyze their relationship 

Lifetime: Levi takes up painting after the war.

Sometimes, I have interactions written out

And it becomes a matter of getting the kinks fixed and the ropes tied together. 

Like this one dialogue...

“So, Levi Ackerman and Hange Zoe…” The teacher started as she looked through what could have been her list of names. With the way she was holding it, Levi had found it difficult to sneak a peek at what’s inside. “Commander Hange Zoe and Retired Captain Levi Ackerman…” The teacher corrected, clearing her throat at that. 

“Yes, but no need for pleasantries. I mean you have been taking care of our son…” Hange spoke up and held one hand out for a hand shake, obviously trying to ease the tension in the room, or at the least the discomfort in the teacher’s face. 

“ according to your son... Shitty four eyes… and Clean freak?”

Or this one...

“Prophylactic… Contraceptive…” Hange read aloud the more unfamiliar words as she turned the box around on her fingertips. She had hoped saying them aloud with ring some bells for her researcher mind. That small effort though turned out to be futile.  I should ask Kiyomi about this when she gets back. She thought to herself. 

“Never heard those words before,” Levi commented from his own table next to her. He always did keep her company after hours taking on some of the paperwork or reading through records and documentation on communications and deliveries  that only rapidly multiplied with every passing day since the building of the port. 

“Me neither,” Hange said. She sighed and rested her cheek on her hand as she looked out the window.

And...

The thinking process is, once I have a point A and a point B. Once I have all the dots I want written, connecting the dots becomes a bit more straightforward. I think the harder part really is figuring out the ‘dots’. That’s why I would recommend, once you feel like you wanna write something out, no matter how ugly it is, just get it written on your phone, even if it’s as messy as the notes above, or even if it’s just a dialogue skeleton. 

And here’s the thing, I really believe that once you have  a point A and a point B, there is a line that will always exist, regardless of how different point A and point B are. It’s just difficult to see from the start. 

And yeah, I think this is where writer’s block comes for most people. Because sometimes we can’t find the logical way to connect the two. 

So this is where my own concrete methods of fixing that comes in. (I’m sure it wouldn’t work for everyone but it might be worth a try for some people so I’ll leave it here.)

Find a hobby that follows a ‘connect the dots’ thinking process and before you write, do it. 

When I get writer’s block, I like to do things in real life where I am reminded that even the weirdest things can easily be connected, or I like doing things that require deep thought and organization and that require good ideas on the fly. I play strategy games like chess or mahjong. 

This probably won’t make sense for a lot of people but for the people who does, having a game with set a smaller set of rules than writing yet still  requires lots of innovative thinking and organizational thinking, helps keep my head moving in a smaller space, so it’s a good warm up. So when I go back to writing and I look at the point A and the point B again, I’m more easily able to see how I want it to connect. Because chess and mahjong are games where we are given set pieces and we have to find a way to make it connect given our environment and circumstances. 

If not chess or mahjong, and if you’re particularly musical, I found that just experimenting on an instrument when dealing with writer’s block actually works. I play the piano, and something which follows the same process as connecting the dots for me, is to open the lyrics of a song, look at a chords and just play the chords on the piano then just play around with the melody and the broken chords. The chords act like that ‘enclosed environment’ and the tinkering I do on the piano act like that ‘innovative thinking’ which gets my head moving.

Music: I go on walks and listen to my spotify on shuffle until a song comes out which I think resonates with the story. And then I listen to it again and again and again until I complete the fic. This is how I’m able to make that line from point A to point B more complete, and this is how I manage to channel my emotions into the writing.

Research: All fics will require some sort of research, especially when you’re writing something more complex. So when I’m going into some particular writer’s block, if it’s a history AU, I read history and watch documentaries. If I’m writing hc, I like to read medical journals. If I need to incorporate some sort of a science law into my fics, I read scientific journals (don’t read the whole thing lmao, the abstract usually works), When particularly writing a scene which requires in depth thought about a certain field or occupation, I talk to someone who has that occupation. I know this sounds totally weird to do over a fanfiction so I just don’t mention it’s fanfiction and just ask. I mean asking people about their job is generally an incredibly normal conversation starter.

How do you keep yourself motivated in writing?

Okay, so there’s one thing I need to point out here, if the pandemic didn’t happen, if I didn’t get laid off in my first job and if I didn’t drop law school for the year, I probably wouldn’t be here writing haha. 

Like right now, when I’m stuck in the house 24/7, reading and writing is my only outlet and my only hobby outside my job. I can’t travel. I can’t see friends. I can’t see family. The skating rink is closed. The gyms are closed. Anything which is remotely seen as fun is closed.  

So writing has been incredibly comforting in helping me process my emotions. 

But I recognize the fact that starting a fic will always be hard especially if people don’t know what to do. So people tend to put it off, and this habit usually extends to work or studies too I’m guessing. I mean I’ve worked in enough groupworks to know that people like to wait for that sense of urgency before they do anything. 

‘Motivation’ is such a fleeting thing that I don’t think anybody should be relying on that to get something moving. I think it’s pretty much discipline more than anything that gets people moving. So how do I  avoid procrastination or that feeling where ‘just thinking about it makes me freeze so I don’t do it.

I just do it. But it isn’t as easy as that right?

I have this concept of a future self. Like a future me I do not wanna disappoint and I trust that future self when she says ‘ you will not regret doing this.’ So even if the writing process is hard the first few pages, I’m able to write because even if it is painful, I know that in between and actually finishing up those pages isn’t. I’m sure people who have finished a fic know, there is an in between where you aren’t thinking too much about the actual process, you’re just writing. And the painful part is just getting to that trance. 

And in the end, you’re just like ‘I’m glad I wrote that.’

But that trance is liberating and it reminds me why the hell I’m doing all this in the first place. And I’m sure this isn’t limited to writing. Any hobby people pursue, working out, staying up all night to get homework done, I’m sure we all experience an in between or maybe some feeling after which makes us realize that it is worth it. It’s a matter of just trusting our future self to actually be grateful we did it. 

I know it’s easier said than done but I guess it helps at least to build the habit and the mindset so I’ve dropped some concrete ways it helps me.

[writing-prompts-for-friends]

Notes from Stephen King’s “On Writing” 07: The Revision Process

Next, King walks us through his revision process. He makes it clear that this method is not the only method. It is merely a method. 

How Many Drafts?

“For me, the answer has always been two drafts and a polish (with the advent of word-processing technology, my polishes have become closer to a third draft).”

King admits that this number of drafts is not the golden rule. Kurt Vonnegut rewrote each page of his novels until he got them exactly the way he wanted them. This meant that when the manuscript was finished, the book was finished. (I certainly am not that big of a perfectionist, nor am I that patient lol.)

For beginner writers in particular, King offers the following advice:

“Let me urge that you take your story through at least two drafts; the one you do with the study door closed and the one you do with it open.

“This first draft--the All-Story Draft--should be written with no help (or interference) from anyone else. There may come a point when you want to show what you’re doing to a close friend because you’re proud of what you’re doing or because you’re doubtful about it. My best advice is to resist this impulse. Keep the pressure on; don’t lower it by exposing what you’ve written to the doubt, the praise, or even the well-meaning questions of someone from the Outside World. Let your hope of success (and your fear of failure) carry you on, difficult as that can be. There’ll be time to show off what you’ve done when you finish...but even after finishing I think you must be cautious and give yourself a chance to think while the story is still like a field of freshly fallen snow, absent of any tracks save your own.”

Basically, King just wants you to get it all out onto the paper, with no external forces influencing you (for better or for worse). Just get that first draft out, and then open it up for closer examination both to yourself and others.

Let It Breathe and Then Dig In!

Okay, so you finished writing the first draft! Celebrate! Rejoice! Maybe cry!

...And then throw that manuscript into a drawer, lock it up tight, and don’t look at it for a minimum of six weeks. And in the meantime, do something totally unrelated to what you wrote. Get into knitting. Write a short story that is nothing like what you just finished. It’s consumed you for months now--so give your mind and imagination some time to reset and chill. 

King recommends a minimum of six weeks, but even longer is okay. Resist all temptation to peek at it. And once the six weeks have passed, do the following:

“Take your manuscript out of the drawer. If it looks like an alien relic bought at a junk-shop or a yard sale where you can hardly remember stopping, you’re ready. Sit down with your door shut, a pencil in your hand, and a legal pad by your side. Then read your manuscript over.

“Do it all in one sitting, if possible. Make all the notes you want, but concentrate on the mundane housekeeping jobs, like fixing misspellings and picking up inconsistencies. There’ll be plenty; only God gets it right the first time and only a slob says, ‘oh well, let it go, that’s what copyeditors are for.’

“If you’ve never done it before, you’ll find reading your book over after a six-week layover to be a strange, often exhilarating experience. It’s yours, you’ll recognize it as yours, even be able to remember what tune was on the stereo when you wrote certain lines, and yet it will also be like reading the work of someone else, a soul-twin, perhaps. This is the way it should be, the reason you waited. It’s always easier to kill someone else’s darlings than it is to kill your own.”

You’ll also be on the lookout for any glaring holes in the plot or character development. And if you spot any of these big holes, you are forbidden from feeling depressed about them. Don’t be hard on yourself. Everybody makes mistakes, and they can all be fixed. 

Generally King goes through the first reading fixing all the superficial issues, like typos and unclear antecedents. But as he’s doing that, he’s also asking himself the Big Questions:

Is this story coherent? 

If it is, what will turn coherence into a song?

What are the recurring elements?

Do they entwine and make a theme?

What’s it all about?

“Most of all, I’m looking for what I meant, because in the second draft I’ll want to add scenes and incidents that reinforce that meaning. I’ll also want to delete stuff that goes in other directions. There’s apt to be a lot of that stuff, especially near the beginning of a story, when I have a tendency to flail.”

I can understand what King is saying here about the flailing at the beginning. Because I do not plot when I write, I have ideas that crop up halfway through that would require being introduced earlier, for example. Or perhaps as my understanding of the characters evolved as I wrote more, I realize that they behaved out-of-character earlier on. This is certainly one downside to not plotting. But isn’t is also kinda liberating to be able to take detours and wind up at a different but equally interesting destination?

Okay. So go ahead and fix all of the issues you found, and your first revision is complete.

Second Opinions and the Second Revision

“Do all opinions weigh the same? Not for me.”

Now you’re done with the first draft. You’ve patched over any plot holes and smoothed out those typos and grammar mistakes. You’ve polished the symbols and themes until they shine.

Once this is done, King gives a copy of work to his wife and several close friends (4-8) to receive detailed feedback. In other words, he has several close friends beta for him. 

“Many writing texts caution against asking friends to read your stuff, suggesting you’re not apt to get a very unbiased opinion from folks who’ve eaten dinner at your house and sent their kids over to play with your kids in your backyard. 

“The idea has some validity, but I don’t think an unbiased opinion is exactly what I’m looking for. And I believe that most people smart enough to read a novel are also tactful enough to find a gentler mode of expression than ‘This sucks.’ Besides, if you really did write a stinker, wouldn’t you rather hear the news from a friend while the entire edition consists of a half-dozen Xerox copies?”

What he gets back is 4-8 very detailed and different analyses of what he wrote. What’s very important to remember is that every reader looks at a work through a different lens. If half of them say a character’s portrayal is far-fetched but the other half say the opposite, than their feedback regarding that point has balanced out. However, if the majority of them say that something doesn’t work, then King goes back and sees if he can improve it. 

Also, different readers pick up on different details. This is the age of internet and now we are able to check facts whenever we like, but it is still nice to have something of a subject matter expert on hand, because they are liable to pick up on details that the writer may not. 

For example, I often beta fanfiction for anime. I am fluent in Japanese, live in Japan, and have studied Japanese culture and history. While I would never claim to be a “subject matter expert” on Japan, I am able to make certain corrections regarding, say, the type of kimono a character should be wearing, that the writer would not have considered. 

It’s very easy to accept feedback that deals with facts (i.e. a beta corrects you on the standard procedures for CPR). However, it’s much harder to handle subjective feedback (i.e. “The ending felt inconclusive.”). Having put as much work as you have into creating this, it can feel like a personal attack because this story is a very dear part of you. What do you do if your beta tells you something like this?

“Subjective evaluations are, as I say, a little harder to deal with, but listen: if everyone who reads your book says you have a problem, you’ve got a problem and you better do something about it.

“Plenty of writers resist this idea. They feel that revising a story according to the likes and dislikes of an audience is somehow akin to prostitution. ... But come on, we’re talking about half a dozen people you know and respect. If you ask the right ones, they can tell you a lot.

“Do all opinions weigh the same? Not for me. In the end I listen most closely to [my wife], because she’s the one I write for, the one i want to wow. If you’re writing primarily for one person besides yourself, I advise you pay very close attention to that person’s opinion. And if what you hear makes sense, then make the changes. You can’t let the whole world into your story, but you can let in the ones that matter the most. And you should.”

I think, especially in the age of prolific fanfiction in which the author usually updates as they write the story, the author feels a lot of pressure from their readers. Readers chomping at the bit for the main characters to have a naughty scene, or demanding to know about that one secret thing that you keep alluding to. A lot of fanfic writers struggle to tow the line of “writing a good story based on reader feedback” and “pandering.” 

My advice to fanfic writers out there is to tell those thirsty readers to read a one-shot if they’re looking for a quick fix of smut, and to have some goddamn patience. You’re trying to tell a story, one that builds and progresses, and that takes time. Don’t give in to those “OMG MAKE THEM KISS ALREADY” reviews. But if a lot of readers say something like, “I feel like this character wouldn’t do that,” then perhaps you should re-evaluate that. 

On Pace and Reducing Glut

“Formula: 2nd Draft = 1st Draft - 10%.”

So now you have your first draft done. You have your feedback from your trusted betas. And now you need to go and make the final changes. 

King states that you should rely on your most trusted betas to gauge whether or not your story is paced correctly and if you’ve handled the back story in satisfactory fashion. “Pace” is the speed at which your narrative unfolds. 

”There is a kind of unspoken (hence undefended and unexamined) belief in publishing circles that the most commercially successful stories are novels are fast-paced. I guess the underlying thought is that people have so many things to do today, and are so easily distracted from the printed word, that you’ll lose them unless you become a kind of short-order cook, serving up sizzling burgers, fries, and eggs over easy just as fast as you can. 

“But you can overdo the speed thing. Move too fast and you risk leaving the reader behind, either by confusing or by wearing him/her out. ... I believe each story should be allowed to unfold at its own pace, and that pace is not always double time. Nevertheless, you need to beware--if you slow the pace down too much, even the most patient reader is apt to grow restive.”

So how can you strike a happy medium? Rely on your most trusted betas and their input. King says, “Every story and novel is collapsible to some degree. If you can’t get out ten percent of it while retaining the basic story and flavor, you’re not trying very hard. The effect of judicious cutting is immediate and often amazing. You’ll feel it and your betas will too.”

On backstory, King issues some opinions and advice:

It’s important to get the backstory in as quickly as possible, but it’s also important to do it with some grace.

A reader is more interested in what’s going to happen instead of what already did.

Even when you tell your story in a straightforward manner, you’ll discover you can’t escape at least some backstory. 

“The most important things to remember about backstory are that (a) everyone has a history and (b) most of it isn’t very interesting. Stick to the parts that are, and don’t get carried away with the rest.”

Source: King, Stephen. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. Hodder, 2012.

[jenetica]

A Brief Note from Our Sponsors: Us.

Greetings! If you’re here, it’s likely that you have questions or complaints about our decisions regarding the Calendar Girls series. An ominous start to this discussion, but truly, we welcome you! If you’re here, it means you have been emotionally impacted by our work and, even though this context isn’t the cheeriest, we are so, so grateful you (1) enjoyed our work enough to care about it, and (2) want to develop a better understanding of our process so that you can engage with Calendar Girl more.

First of all, we understand why you’d be upset with us! The cliffhanger at the end of AotM was a DOOZY and leaves a LOT of important questions unanswered, and we left you readers hanging for a LONG time. This post will, hopefully, assuage the worst of your fears without giving away too many plot points.

That being said, please note that there WILL be spoilers ahead. If you want to see the story unfold as we intended, do NOT read this post further. We will tell you now that the post addresses the Deadpool’s identity, our decisions regarding the construction of AotM and the final cliffhanger, our decisions regarding developing the sequel as a prequel, and our plans for future installments. And, naturally, the accusations of “queerbaiting.”

Let’s get started.

QUEERBAITING

It makes sense to open with the most serious issue, so let’s talk about queerbaiting. For anyone here who doesn’t know, queerbaiting is defined as the purposeful insinuation of a homosexual/queer relationship, only to backtrack/subvert that insinuation to avoid the queer relationship. For an example, see: Supernatural from Season 4 and on. 

We have received accusations of queerbaiting for about four years, based exclusively on the reveal at the end of the final chapter. Similarly, we have received complaints that we duped readers into reading hetfic. So, to get things out of the way, yes, Deadpool is Gwen. No, it’s not a trick of the light, or a mistake, or some odd resemblance. They are one and the same. HOWEVER, that does NOT mean that we have queerbaited anyone.

First of all, the tags of the story are honest, and they always have been. AotM is tagged as a “Multi” fic, meaning that there are relationships of multiple orientations involved, and it is tagged with Peter/Gwen as well as Peter/Wade. Careless Whisper is tagged as F/M. We have never suggested or implied that the story would exclusively be slash fiction. We actually left multiple hints that Wade enjoyed femininity, at least as a practice, if not an identity. iFlail and I discussed this issue at length as we wrote/edited AotM and carefully crafted the story with queerbaiting in mind. 

Peter is an unreliable narrator, he always has been, and he always will be. In AotM, Peter assumes Wade is a man and thus, for the purposes of the narrative, Wade is one. The truth, however, is less clean than that. We won’t get into the details here, but safe to say, gender is not binary, it is not permanent, and it is not inexorably linked to one’s biology. Wade has a complicated history and a complicated/unique sense of identity. We have always intended for him to be that way, just as we always intended for him to be notably, pointedly smaller than Peter. 

The accusations of queerbaiting and/or conning readers into reading “het” fic are exclusionary of the greater conversation of gender identity. It was, frankly, disheartening to see so many people assume heterosexuality based exclusively on the last word of AotM. We hope that our work will challenge readers to be more mindful of the expansive world of gender, and to avoid assuming that a specific kind of pairing might involve specific kinds of body parts.

If you have any questions or reservations about our queerbaiting at this point, you are either welcome to keep reading future installments of this work to learn more, or you are welcome to stop altogether. The choice is yours. 

CONSTRUCTING THE STORY ARC - PRESENT, PAST, AND FUTURE

With that hot-button topic out of the way, let’s talk about the greater concept of ending a story of a cliffhanger, our thoughts behind building this series, and our goals for future installments. 

The second part of the Calendar Girl series, Careless Whisper, was written first, and it comes first chronologically. I (Jenetica) initially worked on the story by myself, as an exploration into the concept of “Gwen becoming Deadpool” to see how it might play out. I ended up writing a story I loved, so I moved onto the next part of the story, set four years later. This ended up becoming Angel of the Morning. 

@iflailfic, a good IRL friend of mine from college, came onboard (after I wooed her with several stories worth of porn, as you can see through a jaunt through my posted works) to help me edit. She fell in love with AotM and, as we worked on first draft edits, she floated the idea of AotM coming before Careless Whisper. Honestly, I rejected the idea at first (not sure if she actually knows/remembers that part, lol), because I couldn’t fathom how we would be able to link the parts of the story together. But, eventually, I began to realize her point: AotM introduces our protagonists, develops the “current” world for the series, and has a more dynamic/engaging plot. 

The cliffhanger was a joke at first. My idea. I think my exact words were something like, “LOLOL what if we just ended on ‘GWEN?’ OMG IMAGINE hahahahaha.” But, as we continued to edit… it became the perfect way to end things. Anything that came after that point felt like trash. If we’d expanded any further, we ran the risk of falling headfirst into Part 3 and doubling the size of AotM. Let’s be real, the ending is, all waiting aside, an absolute nuclear bomb on the rest of the story. 

We talked about the likelihood of enraged readers. But we rationalized it by telling each other/ourselves that we had Careless Whisper written, so the wait wouldn’t be too killer.

Best laid plans.

I (Jenetica) take full responsibility for the time it took to start posting again. Over the last four years, I have gone through a number of experiences that challenged my sense of self and pushed me to become a different person, including moving halfway across the country, attending a relatively prestigious law school where I was no longer “the smart kid in the room,” and losing the relationship that I later learned was toxic and abusive. I lost my confidence in a number of ways, including my confidence as a writer. I became terrified that I would never produce anything that lived up to AotM, and that I would disappoint the many (many!) readers demanding answers. Luckily for me, through that adversity I found rewarding friendships, a beautiful partner who treats me the way I’d always fantasized/written about people like me getting treated, and an engaging career that leaves me with enough energy to write. My experiences are mirrored by iFlail, who went through a different, but similarly life-changing, series of events. But through this all, we never lost hope in this story, and we always planned to complete the series. We are wiser, stronger people now, and we both believe that the story will be richer for it. 

Which brings us to now, and our plans for the future. We do NOT intend to wait another four years to post X Gon’ Give It To Ya, the third and final installment of the series. We have spent countless hours brainstorming the plot, and all that’s really left to do is put it to paper. But, for people who are afraid of being burned twice, we will warn you now that Careless Whisper is JUST a prequel. If you want to know what happens after the “Gwen?” reveal, you will not get any answers until XGGITY (which I have, as of just now, decided to pronounce as “Ziggity”). We hope you stick around to watch Careless Whisper unfold, but we will understand if you want to wait until XGGITY to start reading again.

IN CONCLUSION - FINAL THOUGHTS

The Calendar Girl series has received more attention than we’d ever dreamed, and regardless of whether you liked or disliked our work, we want to thank you for taking the time to read it. If you made it to the end of AotM, we did something right, and again, we are so grateful that so many people have stuck with us this far.

We encourage everyone, moving forward, to keep a close eye on the tags that we use for our stories. We may not tag everything relevant, for the sake of preserving mystery about the plot, but we will be sure to tag everything that may be triggering or concerning, like self-harm, violence, or expected brand of romantic/sexual interactions. We will be adding this warning to the beginning of each story in the series.

Additionally, we want to acknowledge that there is a stark difference between legitimate concerns about the story and unfounded attacks on our character. Our decision to make this post is our attempt to dissuade the latter: We are not queerbaiting, and we have no interest in “forcing” people to read content that is not to their taste. However, that doesn’t mean that our execution of AotM, Careless Whisper, and/or XGGITY will be beyond reproach. The conversation on gender politics has evolved tremendously over the years that we’ve been working on this series, and it will undoubtedly continue to evolve as we progress into the future. We encourage constructive (!!!) criticism and open conversation on ways that we can improve our story, even if it involves tweaking published work to avoid mishandling deeply personal issues.

That said, if, after reading this post, you are still upset and/or unconvinced about our intentions for this series, we encourage you to stop reading it. We are not compensated for this work, and we have spent hundreds (probably thousands, by now) of hours striving to make the Calendar Girl series the best that it can be, for our own benefit. We believe that it may be the best fanfiction we will ever produce, and our satisfaction with our work is our priority. We will continue to post with that priority at the forefront, and with the demands of our reader base playing second fiddle. Similarly, we expect our readers to prioritize their needs above all others. We ask for your patience and your kindness moving forward and, if you cannot give us that, you are welcome to close the tab and move on with your life to other ventures that suit your interests better.

For those of you that choose to stay: You are in for a hell of a ride. We are both anxious to get through Careless Whisper, because we are both SO excited to share XGGITY with you. We believe it’s going to knock your socks off. We hope to see you there. 

Thanks, everyone, and happy reading!

[dayseternal-blog]

Alright, these are the questions I wanted to ask the most: 7) When is your preferred time to write? 8) Where do you take your inspiration from? 45) What spurs you on during the writing process? 48) What is your favorite trope to write about? -- Love you so much for all your support 😘💕💕💕

💗💗💗 omg #8 got a little too long.  I just couldn’t stop with how deeply important it is to me.  Like, I’m sorry it’s an essay, but please read the whole thing if you have the time. 😘😘

7) When is your preferred time to write?

Whenever I have bubble tea in my system!  Although I think night time might be my most productive time strictly in terms of creativity.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

I might read something and think, hm that wasn’t enough for me.  I want more!  Or I think, what would this be like if it was NaruHina?  Movies, folktales, fairytales, other fanfics, fanart, prompts, my own life or others’ stories!  I basically put NaruHina in every romantic situation possible, and some ideas develop really promisingly into viable stories.  Only two of my ideas are “original” in that they solely started off with a wondering “what if...” question - It’s No Secret and Undercover.

And as I told you before!  ❤️❤️ You, @mmmbuttery, and agitosgirl inspired me to write my own fics!! ❤️❤️

How you unapologetically leaned into Japanese culture when no other fic writer seemed to know anything basic about Japan in their canon-divergent fics (like some fic writers got them walking around in his apartment with their shoes on AHHHHHHHHH😱😱).  I thought how great it was to not feel like Naruto and Hinata were white people when I read your stories, and I felt like your fics were so much more relatable.

I thought if I’m spending my free time reading stories of my own choice, I am not about to read stories that have a Hinata who’s never had ramen before!  But I couldn’t find any other stories quite like yours and emmykay’s, and at this time, both of you weren’t writing anymore...basically I needed that representation.

So THANK YOU for doing what you did and what you still do, I have appreciated it SO MUCH 🙌🏼.  Just thinking about representation in English YA fiction and literature, like did I mention I watched Crazy Rich Asians at least 4 times in theatres and read the whole series?  Fanfiction is so important to me in this aspect.  It’s free!  And the characters can be Asian, in love, and just be themselves.  (yes there’s jdramas, kdramas, manga, anime, and translated literature, and I love those things, too, but I want all the things.)

And how agitosgirl would just drop stories and start new ones without warning or caring lol.  Her catchphrase as she leaves you forever dangling on a cliffhanger: A/N: There you have it!  or There you guys go.  Just a little bit of something for you.  The role model of role models in IDGAF.  Yeah, I thought, I can do that too.  I can handle that level of no expectations for myself to finish my stories.  At first, as a reader, I was annoyed, and then I started to find her breezy attitude really very admirable.

So many authors would write end notes about forcing themselves to finish writing a story, or completely losing interest in writing because readers were nagging them, and I always thought that was really sad.  I wondered: Why couldn’t they just do what agitosgirl did?  Why couldn’t they just do whatever they want?  Why on earth do they let their readers’ excitement become an unwelcome pressure?  I thought, well, if I write my own fanfics, I’m going to do my best to be like agitosgirl.  Write seriously whatever topic I want for however long I want, and readers can choose to read or not to read.

She would write the most frowned-upon tropes and have zero shame about it.  She never, not once, apologized for what and how she wrote.  I really got the feeling that she was writing for her own enjoyment.  And in return, as a reader, I felt no shame in enjoying her work.  As a fic writer now, I’m still trying to be like her!

So I’ll end it there, really the inspiration is endless and I could credit every content creator out there. 

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?

I guess it’s usually a certain scene I’m looking forward to a lot.  That’s what makes smut and flirty fluff stories so easy to write!  They’re full of fun scenes I want to see.

48) What is your favorite trope to write about?

Three of my longer ones, Nightdreams, It’s No Secret, and Catskin are all secret relationship tropes.  I also have 5 high school aus 🤭  I guess secret young love somehow became my favourite thing!

Love you bunny 💓💓

[elejahfanfic]

Start Over/2

Fanfiction

Part 2

Elena Gilbert x Nick Amaro

a/n: this is my new au ship - and here is a little story. I am borrowing Nick Amaro from Law&Order SUV

featuring Bonnie and Caroline and their new loves

This is totally AU.

Premise: Nick Amaro left New York to go live in Mystic Falls, to be close to his daughter Zara.

He meets Dr Elena Gilbert Salvatore, who now is a widow, as Damon Salvatore died in a car accident.

Nick will soon find out that Mystic Falls is not such a normal town.

It’s a little love story. I hope you like it.

some gifs are not mine-

Thanks for reading. xoxo (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑) ♡

thank you @miguelsbrat​ for the lovely nicklena💑🏽  moodboard. I looove it. (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*) and this story is dedicate to you, dear friend.

✽-(●◡●)/✽

✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*

A week later

"I really wish I could stay. Hate to leave you dealing with the move on your own." Sidney said.

"I am very much capable of taking care of things on my own. Plus I got my vamp friends - and I will not carry anything heavy." Bonnie reassured her fiance.

"Right. I will call you when I land. Love you."

"I love you, too. And stop worrying."

"I can't help it. The witch in me just - I am overprotective, you know."

"I know. It is so cute. And I don't mind being molly-cuddled, as you know. But, seriously. We will be fine. Now kiss me."

✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖

A tad bit later

Salvatore School

Caroline sat down at her desk and opened her diary and started an entry,

"So, we have a wedding to prepare. Bonnie doesn't want anything big, but I will talk her into it. After everything we have been through, we deserve a big celebration of life. So, dear diary, I will be very busy. And the kind of busy that feels so good. More than good. Ok - there is something else that - but more about it later."

Caroline's phone rang and answering it, she got up, "Yes, Bonnie, I am on my way."

As the two friends met for Bonnie's wedding dress fitting, Caroline raised a question which has been on her mind for some time.

“We need to do something about Elena and Nick”

“Why do we need do anything about Elena and Nick?” Bonnie looked at her friend a tad bit wide-eyed. But knowing Caroline, this actually didn’t come as a surprise.

“You know what she is like. She will overthink it and push him away. She has done it like with any guy that showed that he is interested.

"I would never think that Nick is her type actually" Bonnie remarked browsing through the dresses.

"Ok - so?"

"Well, nothing but - you know Elena. She loved the bad boy type -"Bonnie said. “He is actually the opposite.”

"Sidney is not the bad boy type and you fell for him" Caroline pointed out.

"No. You're right there." Bonnie nodded.”And if she wants to be with him, who am I to judge.”

“Exactly. You were with Enzo. Not as bad as Damon, but - now - it’s like - we are out of that phase. Bad boy. Been there done that. Got the T-shirt. Now let’s try the good boys.”

As Bonnie wanted to comment, Caroline swayed off from the topic, jumping up and put her hands together as the seamstress stepped away from Bonnie, clapping a little delightfully.

"You look so beautiful!” the blonde vampire exclaimed.”Don’t move. I need to take a picture and send it to Elena."

🌼💕

The MFPD Station

“What do you mean, the marks on the body of that man disappeared. Now you will tell me there are real vampires living around us? Halloween is in October.”  Nick said.

“In Mystic Falls actually, Halloween is every day. Vampires, witches and werewolves don’t wear costumes. Not even on Halloween.” Victoria Fell said.

“Come on. This is serious. I saw the body in the woods. It had - animal bites on the neck.” Nick said.

“It’s time you get to know a few things. Come on, I need a real coffee and a burger.” the vampire said getting up. She now looked in Nick’s eyes, compelling him to take the news about the vampires existing like it’s a normal thing.

Matt, who saw the whole thing, now pulled the female detective to the side. But before he could say anything, Victoria cocked an eye brow at the man.

“Don’t start with the moral thing. He is not ready to take it in.Not yet anyway.”

“This was not your call. We agreed.”

“I am not part of the Secret Council.” Victoria said and swished out of the station.

🥞💑 ☕

Later that evening

Gilbert House

Browsing through the gallery, Elena went through the crazy selfies her two friends sent her from the dress fitting, reading the messages that followed.

Caroline: “You are not missing the cake tasting- and that is an order”

Elena:”I will be there. I solemly promise.”

Caroline: “Good. Tomorrow at 11 am. And if I have to compel you to come with us, I will.Night. xoxo”

Elena pouted a smile and finishing the text with a 🧛grr.xoxo. she slipped her phone on the kitchen counter.

Bonnie deciding to get married in Mystic Falls was a magical boost for both her and Caroline. For years they both kind of put their lives on hold, as they tragically lost their loves. Life was completely unpredictable and she knew that so well. All three of them. Not just her and Caroline. Bonnie, too.

Pouring herself a glass of Merlot, she flashed back to the girly movie night a week before at her house.

Flashback

“Deciding to build this house and selling the house Damon and I lived in was a big step for me to - start the process of staring over.” Elena said.

“Yeah, you said.” Bonnie nodded a little, taking  a sip of the mock cocktail. “And we - have to. We can’t sit and be defined by our past and - everything that happened. I thought I would never get over Enzo. And - he will forever be in my heart, but - we got to live life. And now - with the baby - I am so happy I have listened to my heart and let myself fall in love with Sidney.”

“OMG - you guys” Caroline wiped her tears that welled up in her eyes. Exhaling deeply, the blonde vampire then held her hands out to her friends and said, “We make a pact. We will be happy. And allow ourselves to be happy. Ok?”

Taking her hands, both Bonnie and Elena nodded.

Elena opened the door and stepped out on the back porch, sitting herself down on the steps. Taking a sip of the Merlot, she now looked up to the bright blue moon hanging over the garden.

“Hey you” she slipped and then jumped a little as she heard a voice returning the hey you.

It was Nick, who came into his part of the garden from the back.

“Did I startle you? Sorry -”

“No - well. I kind of - get to talk to the moon from time to time. Weird, I know. He is like my diary now.” Elena shook her head, trying so hard not to talk jibberish.

“He definitely will keep all the secrets. Not that you have any secrets. I didn’t mean to imply” Nick pressed his lips, swiveling his head.

“Wanna a glass of wine?” Elena offered, waving his remark off.

“Yeah. I’d like to.”

“I got Merlot. I also have Bourbon - maybe you’d like something stronger. It looks like you had a crazy day.” Elena jumped up. She, of course knew what went off earlier today as Matt had texted her immediately after Victoria and Nick had left.

“Merlot is fine.Thanks.” The detective said and now got through a small gate into Elena’s garden, taking off his jacket, making himself comfortable on the step.

“Ok.” Elena uttered and went into the house.

Nick found himself gazing at the moon. Vampires, witches and werewolves are real.Victoria Fell’s words now echoed again in his head. He took a long deep breath. Something inside him found it strange that it didn’t bother him and that it was just a normal thing.

It’s like - you know the tv show ‘Mayans MC’ - you probably don’t watch this.” Victoria said, but Nick nodded in confirmation that he did see the series.

“You know when they talk about this world and that world - like the drugh world and the everyday normal world. it’s the same with Mystic Falls.We have like two worlds living together. People who live here, some know about it and live with it. Some don’t or choose to ignore it. But, yeah. The supernatural world and the normal world here is very pretty mashed.

“Earth to Nick” Elena said as she sat down next to him offering him the glass of wine.

“Ah, thanks. Sorry. I just - was talking to the moon. I think I’ve started a diary as well. But, how does this work? Is it only when it is a full moon or- you can kind of talk to it “

“Oh, shut up” Elena pushed him a little with the elbow, making him splatter some of the wine on the arm.

“Sorry - this was so stupid of me.”

“It’s nothing. Don’t sweat.This is a very good wine. ”

“It’s a full-throttle red. My special birthday stash. Well, Caroline’s stash.” Elena said. “She always buys the finest.”

“She’s got a good taste.” Nick then said, taking another sip of the expensive red.

“Yeah, she does.” Elena said, making a cirle over the rim with her finger, and then putting her glass on the side. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah - “ Nick replied, looking at the brunette, furrowing curously his eyebrows at her. “Why do you ask?”

“I get this vibe that - something is - I’m sorry. I was just being - me - neighbourly- doctor me- always concerned about - people - I like.” Elena gulped, her eyes locking with the detective’s.

They stared awkwardly into each other's eyes for a moment, trying to steady their heartbeats, that suddenly could not be contained. Slowly they leaned into the kiss. Nick's hand clasped gently into the back of her hair, pressing in softly. His warmth, his touch, all of him flowed in this kiss.This slow, gentle, and dreamily deep kiss. It felt like a strange kind of magic ignited something sweet inside them.

[snail-giggles]

This is me - The coming out story

This is my random, sheltered little tale of self discovery. I had it easy compared to some, but I wrote this while feeling like a piece of dirt.

If by some miracle you know me IRL and read this and think “She’s talking about me. Ew/OMG.” Sorry…can’t change anything now. It has happened and this is my truth. Your truth may be different, and that is ok…but this is mine.

So, read on if you want to… or ignore this is you wanna. I’m sharing this with the void so I can’t hide anymore, and it’s easier to have pride when you’re not hiding. I think this covers week 4’s theme for @fander-pride-meetup . Whatever.

This is me

I walked around blind. I didn’t even realise just how blind I was.

I idolised her. She was smart. She was a talented artist. She was thin. Her hair was long and shone in the sun.

I’m not gay.

I was short. I was round. I was quiet. I lacked talent. I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good at anything.

She had a boyfriend. I hated him. He wasn’t good enough. Did he care for her? Would he protect her? He never stopped me from hurting him, so clearly, he wasn’t going to protect her. I was happy when he left.

I’m not gay.

New friends. They are nice, but I still think of her. I still do everything for her. Others are in relationships that I don’t understand. Why are they kissing right now? Do they really need to do that every day? Can’t we all just sit here and talk without you stopping every 5 minutes to kiss or touch?

These are normal thoughts, right?

I am late to school to hang out with her. I get up early but switch to the late bus just to be with her. I don’t want to go to school alone. It’s ok. I just have to run up to the third floor to drop off my things, run back down and to the other side of the school to get to class. That’s the only downfall. My teacher is always angry, but it’s worth it for her. She would do it for me, right? …… No, she wouldn’t.

I’m not gay.

She tells me a guy likes her. I kind of like him too, even though it’s weird how much he kissed his last girlfriend. We say he is off limits. We say it’s wrong because he just broke our friend’s heart. But you broke my heart by deciding to date him. You hurt me. I still adore you though.

I’m not gay.

This is the second boy I’ve watched you date. The first one was weak. I test this one. I hurt him with jokes and tricks. He fights back, so I guess that means he is strong enough to protect you. I guess it’s ok you date him. He is a good friend. He and I get close, but I still feel lost without you. Why aren’t I good enough? I do so much, and you still don’t see me.

I’m not gay.

I get judged for not dating. I do try a little. I meet up and message an old friend. He is not like me though. Our worlds and values are too different. It wouldn’t work. I didn’t trust him. He wasn’t for me. Where is my teenage romance? This isn’t like the books or movies. I’m leaving school single.

I am straight.

I’m meeting new people, but the old friends remain. I’m loving her less now… the feeling almost gone. She isn’t good enough for me. She doesn’t deserve me. I meet a new friend and she is amazing. The feeling is different. She respects me and I respect her.

But I’m not gay.

A boy asks me out. I pour out my heart. Is this the beginning of my romance? No. He was only interested in things. I couldn’t give him everything. He said he liked me before the weekend, but after the weekend he was with someone else. Why would he do that? He said he liked me.

What is wrong with me?

My new friend is filling me with knowledge. She is so strong. Her friends judge me for being innocent, but she doesn’t. She defends me. She makes me feel valid. She teaches me about the LGBT community that she knows. It’s not a scary place.

I��m… I’m not gay.

The study sessions with her are the highlight of my life. Our hugs make me feel special. I respect her. She respects me. I look forward to the late nights at her house, that turn into mornings hiding from the world under blankets. She is straight. She likes boys.

Am I gay?

No. No. I don’t want to have sex with her. That means I’m not… I am straight. I am straight. I am straight.

I’m happy being single.

I’ll find a girl, person, guy soon.

I. AM. STRAIGHT.

I move away; she does too. We are so far away. My new roommates make me try Tinder. I don’t understand it. How do you know if you like someone just by looking at them?

I am judged.

I am wrong.

I am broken.

I get to see her again. It is like no time has passed. We talk for hours. I’m happy when it is just the two of us. Everyone else judges me. She never would.

But I’m not gay…..

I lock my heart down. Who needs love anyway? It only opens when I see her. I am lonely though. My co-workers are friendly, but the age gap makes connecting tough. How much longer until everything makes sense? I’m not lonely when I go back and visit her. When we get together, my heart is unlocked; but I lock it back up when we are apart.

I am straight.

New people come to town. Their age is closer to mine. They are nice. Yes, they laugh at my innocence, but it is not to judge. They teach me words and I think about the world she told me about.

What does it mean to be LGBT?

Time is passing. I am growing older. I pull down the wall a little. I start to think. I read a piece of fanfiction and suddenly the wall is cracked. Fanfiction. Of all things, it was fanfiction that got me to start connecting the dots. The way the character talks…It feels familiar.

Google Search: _________

.

.

.

There is so much more than I could ever have imagined. It’s not just four letters. Lesbian. Gay. Bisexual. Transgender. Queer. Intersex. Asexual. Pansexual. Bigender. Aromantic.

The list goes on.

The wall crumbles. I am raw. Blindness clearing. I review everything. Feelings. Thoughts. I see them in a new light. These thoughts are ok. These feelings are normal. Others have felt the same.

It takes time.

A lot of reading.

A lot of questioning.

I casually talk to others about the character in the fanfic and how they identify. I want to see what people think. I want to know if they think it is ok.

Getting answers was emotional. I kept it all inside. I processed everything. I was raw with my heart and mind so open.

I said my labels out loud.

“I’m not straight. I am a biromantic asexual.”

It felt strange to say. Wrong but right.

The internet knew first. Luckily, I don’t have many IRL friends online. Feeling safe, the words started slipping out.

“I’m asexual.” – that needed a lot of explaining.

“I’m a biromantic asexual.” – that needed even more explaining.

“I’m bi-ace.” “So, does that just mean you’re a bisexual?” “I guess, to put it simply, yes.”

I have been lucky. My parents have accepted me. The co-workers who I have told accept me. I am closer to the friends I have told.

I am ok with me.

There are still people to tell and I know not all of them will accept me…but if they don’t…I know who to turn to: my mum will say she loves me, my friends will say that they support me, and the communities I follow online will remind me to have pride 🏳️‍🌈.

So,

My name is *Snail🐌*. I use she/her pronouns, but I don’t mind them/they either. I’m 25 years young and still learning about myself. I’m a teacher, a beginning writer, and I identify as a biromantic asexual.

I am valid.

So are you.

[wackygoofball]

Gwenspiration: The Wacky Version Vol. 1 - The Fanfics

As threatened/promised, I am tooting the horn in a number of posts, following the most kind call of @jaimebrienneonline.

I decided to begin with fanfic as JB fanfiction was my way into the fandom when a kind voice, long time ago, lured me over to the wonderful world which is JBO. And ever since that day I found both my home and my people. 

I am not going in a particular order because like my non-existent children, I kind of love and love to hate all of my fics equally.

But, for matters of scrolling convenience, I will put this list below a cut:

Childhood Friends has a special place in my heart because it is one of the two fics that got me into the fandom, and it is of the rare species of completed Wacky WIPs. The story marked my first tender steps in the canon as I was still catching up on show and book knowledge but got instantly hooked on the JB dynamic and just *had* to write fanfiction about them, albeit not yet knowing just what the frack Westeros even looked like on a map. I simply was intrigued by the idea of how the lives of our OTP may have played out differently if only they had met at a younger age, only to run into one another time and time again over the years, until at last, the circumstances seem to be in their favor. Writing that fic was a challenge because, for one, it got finished, which is incredibly hard for me to to do, and it is a coming of age story of sorts, which is not necessarily what I am used to writing. Nonetheless, it was a project that got me firmly into the fandom, which is why I am always remembering the process (and the writer’s panic) somewhat fondly, and always smile like an idiot when someone finds that old fic of mine and leaves a kudo or even a comment, reminding me of those early beginnings of my JB shipping career.

Choices likely has to be mentioned in the same vein, despite its crucial difference being that it went on a very, very, veeeeeery long hiatus and yet has to awaken (some prince wanting to give it a smooch to maybe bring it back to life? Would be much appreciated!). It was born out of the wish of exploring the infamous what if of Jaime and Brienne already getting intimate while on the road back to King’s Landing - as a matter of necessity/convenience, only for the misfortunate/very fortunate circumstance that Brienne winds up pregnant after their one time together. I enjoyed/would very much to enjoy again to write the character studies on how they deal not just with the issue of parenthood but also with their insecurities regarding their feelings for one another, which inspires more than one ill-made choice (*roll credits*) for either one of them as neither one dares to call love what actually is just that, hiding instead behind missions and honor, parenthood and duty, and fractured pasts that leave them wondering just who they became thanks to each other.

Colour Verses is a series that was born out of my first ever (I believe) JB Appreciation Week. OMG, it’s been so long. The theme of colors really had me inspired, which is why those pieces, which can be read in succession and independently, have a soft spot in my Wacky heart.

The Shredding Project, I believe, deserves an honorary mention despite its utter lack of completion for some of its parts and a happy ending for some of the tales shredded in this part of the fandom. I have a great passion for fairytales and deconstructing them, which inspired this undertaking of twisting and turning aka shredding all those stories into new models to fit Jaime and Brienne into. In fact, the Shredding Project is much larger than it currently is on AO3, as most of the shredded stories still reside in a large, very large Word file on my computer (42 shreddings up to date with a total of 414k words *whispers* 414k mkaaaay, yes I *am* obsessed), and can be found in the respective thread on JBO, where one can read perhaps not an eloquently put-together retelling of favorite fairytales (and some Disney movies) but at least find a conclusion to every story and thus a happy ending, as befits a fairytale.

Bow Down is another story I would mean to include in this list. It came to mean a lot to me personally because I worked my way through it at a time when I was not really having the time of my life for a number of reasons. Thus, finishing that fic did a lot of things for me - and hopefully also with my oh so patient readers. The basic premise is how things would have developed, had Brienne failed to find Sansa and thus fully dedicate herself to the cause of the Blackfish during the Riverrun Siege whose bitterness is clouding his judgment, leaving Jaime in a tough position to choose between his family and the mannish woman he can’t help but care about as much as he does.

A Tale of Spring is one of those fics I wish to include in that already way too long tooting because a) it is a finished story, which is always a rarity in my Wacky world, and b) it is still a kind of headcanon I would have loved to come about in some capacity, as it leaves room for not just happy endings while at the same time giving space for futures to grow for JB as they are cautious to dream of their future past the Long Night, edging on a Dream of Spring.

Paths is one of those stories I am, yet again, very desperate to get back on track with (I mean, it is supposed to lead somewhere, title has it). This story means a lot to me because I just have so much in my head for how this is meant to conclude and just have to get over that one edge to finally ebb into the narrative direction I need this to go (aka follow the path *badum tssssss*). I suppose the story was very much fuelled by my love for G.I. Jane and the dynamic between Jordan O'Neil and John James Urgayle (and Viggo in those short shorts... way too short shorts... damn). At the same time, my aim with this fic is to show not just how tough JB can be and how much ass they can kick together but also how insecure they are beneath the tough surface and how they actually long for something way outside the line of fire.

Train Acquaintances, by contrast, is a rather self-indulgent fic I started to write and was surprised to have found an audience rather fast. I just really liked the theme of trains as a way for two people to meet while at the same time playing with the overly romanticized notion of trains and deconstructing it somewhat. They are a curious means of transportation, to put it mildly. And to then throw in Jaime trying to act smoothly when he is just acting like a dork most of his time was just too delicious to resist. While it’s been a long time (because my computer ate part of a chapter I found really important and that has frustrated me so much, I can’t even tell you), I remain intrigued writing this story because it has a rather distinct mood from what I normally tend to write. And awkward Jaime is just so much fun to write.

Washed Away is one of those fics I am so desperate to get back to that you woudln’t even believe - because it is the one fic most closely tied to the book canon. Its premise is the Lady Stoneheart situation yet to be resolved, wherein Brienne makes a dangerous gamble to save the man she knows is not guilty of the crimes Lady Stoneheart accuses him of, leaving them both to wrestle not just with the dilemmas of this overall situation but also their conflicting vows and feelings for one another.

In the Eyes of the Seven is one of those fics I am yet again very desperate to get back to (yes, I realize I type this sentence far too often, but it is the truth!) but have not yet found a way to bridge between two important plot points, currently creating a gap that keeps me from moving on to the next chapters. It is one of those narrative places where I nerd around freely and explore some mad medley of historical fiction inserted into the history of Westeros, taking up on the runaway nuns of the Reformation period and re-applying it to the Westerosi context by making it about septons and septas instead. While perhaps not a particularly popular story of mine, it is a story I very much enjoy writing as it gives opportunity for lots of introspection, insecurities, and the wish of both characters to break out of the boundaries of the norms set by a static system leaving no room for the likes of the Kingslayer and a woman fancying herself a sword as much as a book or a dress. In general, there are just so many ideas for it inside my head that I really hope to get back on track with that story because there is just so much more I want to tell the readers about in this strange tale.

May the Norns Bind Their Fate strikes a similar tune for me, as I get to gush about my mediocre-at-best knowledge of Norse mythology (albeit a great interest) and yet again change Westeros to my liking to insert the political system of the Viking era into this society (or rather my wacky interpretation thereof). For me, it is both an experiment in terms of perhaps (big perhaps) turning things a bit more heated than I am used to (for Wacky writes no smut, unless it is a literal accident, which only happened, like, once) and diving deep into aspects such as trauma and grief as well as fate and determinacy, since the idea of seers knowing your future has a very distinct appeal in my view, and how knowing one’s “fate” may affect the outcomes of the events. Thus, taking up on the challenge to deal with that in this fic still has me hooked - and I hope I am not the only one.

Last but not least...

An Honorable Man and a Just Woman is a story I am happy to have found an audience because it really gives me something personally to write it. Considering how sadly things played out in the show, I was in dire need of my own little fix-it and have since taken up on the challenge to entertain those questions of what would have changed had Jaime survived, what would be if he were declared King of the Six Kingdoms. Not only does that leave a humbled Jaime trying to find his place in a world he never thought he would see, having seen his ending long before he rode away from Winterfell, but it also leaves him and Brienne with the reality of what it is like to survive when so many died, and how to cope with how they parted and why. And while there are still so many things left unsaid and feelings left unexpressed, one can only hope that those two honorable and just people will eventually find their way around in the new world they are meant to build.

So yeah, I tooted a lot, and I still left out a whole bunch of my weird fanfic children, but those are the ones I feel a great deal of dedication to, even if, admittedly, a lot of them haven’t seen an update in ages. But rest assured, anyone reading this who dared to jump the Wacky train and read along, knowing very well that this strange woman struggles finishing a WIP most of her days, that I am still dedicated to each of those stories (as I am to any story I write). There are simply technicalities and real life not letting me dedicate as much of my time to it as I would need to finally get that final push ahead on a lot of them.

Be it as it may, in the spirit of Glorious Gwendoline Christie, here’s to my shameless self-promotion!

Stay tuned for the next post about the wackiest of Wacky’s wacky creations.

Until then...

Much love! ♥♥♥

[cherrygorilla]

Time for me to be nosy as heck for the fanfic author thing! Hope you don't mind if I ask a lot like you did to me! Here you are: 4, 5, 6, 7, 14, 17, 20, 21, 22, 24, 25, 27, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40 A bunch are the same ones you asked me, but I'm really curious as to what your answers would be. If there's anything you'd like to answer that I didn't ask you, then feel free to add it on if you feel up to it! 💖

Okay, I'm known to ramble at the best of times but I really ran away with myself here. You may want to grab a snack or something first; it's hella long. You've been warned! 

4. What made you start writing fanfiction? 

When I was like 11/12 I was obsessed with the musical Starlight Express and after trying to google just about everything I could about it I think I stumbled across some fanfiction for it. Well, instantly my little english-class-loving brain grabbed this concept and ran with it. I remember writing my own stories in this cheap little notebook I would hide in my bedside table drawer and it was around this time that TBM came out, so naturally I decided to see if that had any fanfiction too. Turns out it did, and significantly more than Starlight Express might I add, so my creativity ran away with itself and next thing I knew I was setting up my own account and getting properly involved this time. And I guess, as they say, the rest is history... 

5. Favourite pairing? 

This is pretty tricky for me. Most of the pairings that I have set up are littered with little flaws and things that make them more interesting to write about (and hopefully read about lol) and more realistic. And the already established pairings that I use (i.e. Mack & Brady in old stories or Lela & Tanner) just feel too bland for me to really connect with them, which is probably why I always struggle so much to write for them. I suppose Lela & Tanner can be cute, or at least their potential is; I don't feel like the movies did them justice lol. But for my stuff, at the moment I just feel so out of practice with writing and at such an early stage in the story with Wheels and Waves that I'm not really attached to any of the pairings yet. And besides, the only one I've really established so far is Butchy & Giggles, but if you've read my last chapter then you'll know that that's not exactly doing so hot atm. So, since I can pick holes and find flaws in everyone's relationships too much to pick a favourite, I think I'll pick one I'm excited about that has some of the biggest flaws imaginable: Coral & Hyde. And that's all I'm going to say. Unless you're curious, then ask away lmao. 

6. Least favourite pairing? 

Okay, I may be a bit controversial here- Actually, this is probably really controversial judging by some of the reviews on my old stories that I was just reading. But I don't really like Mack & Brady… Hear me out! Maybe it's just because I haven't watched the movies for ages and I haven't been thinking about them writing-wise since I abandoned my old stuff but they just seem really bland to me. Don't get me wrong, they're super sweet, but I like giving my characters a bit of grit to work with and make them a little more interesting beneath their 'perfect movie character in an idyllic world' surface and I just could never seem to do that with Mack & Brady. I could never manage to give them any depth and because of that I feel like I just grew to resent them haha. Other people can write for them much better than I can, let's just put it that way. Apart from them though, non-canon-wise in my stories it's got to be Butchy & Coral. Hands down. Honestly, what was I thinking? It was cringey. It was basic. And I think because of it Coral became super one-dimensional and kept losing her way as a character because my whole focus was trying to get them to work as a couple. Spoiler alert: they don't. And since I ditched them I think I was really able to get her to come into her own and develop a much more interesting, albeit worse, side of her.

7. Favourite type of au? 

This is probably going to be a quick one because I don't do a lot of au stuff but modern day/high school aus are always a lot of fun. I feel like TBM2 could have done so much cool stuff with that premise but then they went and dumbed down all the characters and really ruined their chance but I think the concept in general is so cute. I'm actually working on something in this vein for my sims blog, but that's not what we're talking about so let's move on. 

14. Do the people in your life know you write fic? How do they feel about it?

 Nope. I haven't ever mentioned it to my family because I just don't think that they'd 'get' it. I think I mentioned it to one of my best friends ages ago because she also read/casually wrote fanfics but I don't think that she still knows that I've kept it up; she probably just assumes that it was something we both just did when we were 13/14. So they don't really think anything of it; they don't know and probably never will lol. So I just struggle over chapters and ideas and things by myself. 

17. What's the harshest criticism you've ever gotten on a fic? 

To be honest, I don't think that I've ever really had any super harsh criticism. None that I can remember, anyway. I was reading through the reviews on one story recently and someone told me that I should work on my dialogue for Mack & Brady because it wasn't true enough to their characters and tbh they probably weren't wrong. That's barely criticism but it was the closest that I could find to it in my five minutes of looking and nothing else stood out in my memory so I guess that's what I'll go with. I know that probably sounds super cocky like "omg i'm amazing i never get any criticism from anyone because i'm amazingggg!!!1!!" but honestly all the reviews on my old stuff were just people being nice to me because I was friendly to them and I get next to no reviews on my current stuff, so there's no real opportunity for criticism if there's no interaction in the first place lmao. 

20. What's your biggest struggle when it comes to writing fic? 

Actually finding the time to write it when I have uni work, family life, stuff with friends and a somewhat healthy sleep schedule to balance as well. I just don't have enough hours in a day. Besides that, when it actually comes to writing I guess I find it hard to stick solely to ideas that progress the plot. I've been trying to work on that a lot more lately and be more ruthless with my planning but sometimes I just get inspired by something fun and in sheer creative desperation I just wedge it into the plot somewhere. And I think that for the reader's sake I need to stop doing this. 

21. Your biggest strength? 

I don't know if this is what anyone else would consider my biggest strength but I personally really like the way that I can develop the characters beyond what little personality we get to see in the movies. I love working on their story arcs and experimenting with how they 'exist' in my head, like finding out who the quiet souls are, who the loud mouths are and why they act like that. From the snippets we actually see of them in the movies and how basic they are, I'm pretty proud of the characters I've rounded them into in my stories; they feel a lot more real now, to me at least. 

22. Which do you do more: read fic or write fic? 

I know it's hard to believe, but probably write. I only really keep up with a handful of stories now and I always find I'm more actively thinking about kicking my butt into gear and writing something myself instead of setting out to read someone else's stuff. 

24. What's your process? 

Daydream and plan out future plot lines for most of the waking hours of the day. Find the fleeting shred of time available in said day to sit down and work on something if both inspiration and motivation are working in my favour. Actually sit down and open up a google doc, perhaps with a cup of tea if I'm feeling particularly adventurous and fancy treating myself for doing something productive. Painfully struggle through the first ten minutes of warming up my writing muscles and getting my creative juices flowing again. Settle into a good rhythm and just let my fingers and the words work their magic until something boring from the real world interrupts me and drags me away from my fictional one. Then repeat. 

25. Of all the fics you've written, which is your favourite? 

I know it's not necessarily a single fic but I really liked when I was writing the one-shots for Surf, Sun, Sand because I knew that I was writing the things people wanted to read, so I knew there was more of a chance that they'd enjoy them. And it was nice not being constrained to one timeline, I could jump around and play with different pairings, ideas and settings as much as I, well, the requests, wanted. I also really liked my Twelve Days of Cruisin' for a Bruisin' Christmas story, but I can't put that at the top spot because I'm so frustrated that I never got that final chapter up. It was really fun to write though and that's one of the few things that I've written that I'm still happy with to this day lmao. I just think it's sweet and I like how I wrote all the characters, so I'd say that's a win for me. 

27. What's your most popular fic? Do you think the popularity is warranted, or is there another fic that you think deserves it more? 

Statistics-wise it's Paper Flowers, by a long-shot. 77,485 views and 331 reviews. Now, I think that the fact that there are about a million chapters and I wrote it back when the fandom was thriving has quite a lot to do with that, if not all of it, because I'm almost certain that it can't be the writing, character quality or whatever crap I threw into the plot back then. But for nostalgia's sake, I'll allow it. And to be fair, it was probably alright at the time. I do think, however, that I've developed and improved my writing style over the years, so it would be nice if Wheels and Waves could get a little more popularity (since it's something I'm actually semi-proud of lol). But I just don't have the audience, so what can you do? 

29. Which of your fics was the hardest to write? 

Just Like Me. By a country mile. Like I mentioned earlier, I really struggle when it comes to writing for Mack & Brady and although I liked the concept (and a few other people did too) I just wasn't ever happy with what I ended up with. The chapters felt boring (which probably had something to do with the fact that I wrote them in my phone notes at 11:30pm), their relationship felt bland and the plot felt like it was going nowhere. I sort of had a vague structure of where I wanted to take it, but when I couldn't seem to get the hang of writing for them every chapter felt like such a challenge. 

30. Favourite fic writers? 

You, girl! I literally don't even bother to keep up with anyone else anymore because I just don't have the time (uni will do that to a bitch, lol) but I never miss a post of yours and will frequently go and re-read your stuff (especially if it's in preparation for a crossover lmao) if I need a pick-me-up. And like you said, we're practically family now and what kind of internet sister would I be if I didn't support my fam?! 

31. Do you write just for fun, or would you ever consider pursuing writing? 

I don't think I'd ever actually pursue it as a job. I'm in dentistry school atm so I'm pretty set on becoming a dentist, but even if that wasn't the case, I don't think I have the creativity to create my own unique story with original characters and a whole universe under my control. I just think it's fun to expand on other ideas and grow my own ideas from them. 

33. Fanfiction pet peeves? 

Bad grammar is really frustrating. But I also just think it's really boring when people will basically re-write the whole movie/story pretty much word-for-word with only the slightest of alterations. Like, I've already watched/read this once, why would I want to do it again? I came here for creativity and fun stories with my fave characters, not the flat-out plot all over again with a cookie-cutter, paper doll inserted into the mix to steal a few lines. It just bored me. 

34. First person, second person or third person? 

I'd probably put second person last because I just find reader-insert things weird and cringey. Like they legit make me feel uncomfortable sometimes. And then I'd go with first person because although I don't really have a problem with it, it's just never a style I'd choose to write in; I just can't really get the hang of it and I prefer to be able to see and show everyone's perspective on a situation from the outside, which is why good old third person has to be my favourite. 

35. OCs, reader inserts or canon pairings?

 Like I said, reader inserts creep me out a bit so definitely not those. Canon pairings are a pretty safe bet and can be cute most of the time (I just personally seem to struggle with them lol) and if they're done well (i.e. not basic bitches with no personality that just double as weird reader inserts *cough cough* Coral in Paper Flowers smh 12 year old me) then I think OCs can be really fun and can add another layer to fanfics that takes them beyond the bubble of what's canon. 

37. Which character is your favourite to write for? 

Saying Coral would be too easy because she's literally my own character, so of course I'm going to enjoy writing for her. So, other than that I'm going to have to say Seacat. I feel much more comfortable writing for the surfers than the bikers anyway, so that definitely plays into it. But I really like the version of him I've created. I really leaned into his sort of fiesty, stubborn side that occasionally showed itself in the movies, which created a super interesting dynamic with his inherent relaxed nature that all the surfers have. He's a really fun character to work with and I've got lots of fun things planned for him, so I think he's earned that top spot. But I'll mention Giggles too because it's been fun developing her character more deeply for Wheels and Waves. I just like a bit more drama, which Seacat can deliver more than my sweet bby G. 

40. Imagine yourself 10 years in the future, do you still think you'll be writing fic? 

Honestly, who knows? Back when I started I never thought I'd still be writing it at 18, so never say never, I guess. 

And since you said I could choose another one, I'll go for 38. From where do you draw inspiration? 

I wanted to include this one because I'm literally listening to my Wheels and Waves playlist as I write this to try to get me into that #writingmood. A few different things influence me but music has always been my biggest inspiration. I'm constantly adding new songs to my playlist and finding songs I want to use so badly that I'll rearrange and shift around plot points to work them into the story. For example, that Coral & Hyde relationship I mentioned earlier? Grown entirely from songs. But yeah, I'm always getting inspired by songs, which is why I'm really trying to get a general plan of Wheels and Waves set in stone so that I'll stop being tempted to switch things around and ruin the plot with convoluted ideas I get on a whim because I heard a fun song. On another note though, if you have any song suggestions then hit me up lmao; I'm always looking for more haha.