#you know its getting real when you tag THE ACTRESS
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so yall know how TDIM takes place in 2022 right? so theoretically things like Twitter, Tiktok, Tumblr, Instagram, ETC. would exist right?
so like, do you guys think that Kate would have Pedro Pascal-type edits made of her?💀💀
#oh god imagine the tweets...#do you think she would see them?#💀💀#do you think she K N O W S ?#she's getting interviewed and something happens and she brings it up and she just looks dead into the camera and says:#“Yeah I've seen the edits and tweets.” *Silence*#IMAGINE IF THERES FANFICTION💀💀💀#“I've seen the fanfiction too.😐😐😐”#and the only thing people would process is: “OMG SHE READS FANFICTION!!?!?”#they would make edits of her addressing them with the: “She Knows.” audio💀💀#TDIM#The Devil in Me#The Dark Pictures Anthology#Kate Wilder#Katherine Wilder#Jessie Buckley#you know its getting real when you tag THE ACTRESS#there probably is thirst edits and such of Jessie lmao💀💀#Jamie prob sends her the tiktok and insta edits💀💀💀#the real reason why Kate hates Jamie#💀💀💀#thank you for coming to my cursed ted talk🥰🥰
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Evangelion movie hello
#So Adam creates angels and Lilith creates Evas but also humans as Shinji's dead bf said... so Evas are humans too? Is that it#asuka IN THE GAME AGAIN!!! YEAAAAHHHH#is her mother the eva.... like maybe its metaphorical but maybe not like shinjis mother maybe is in unit 1 so.... idk man...#rei has herself??? she wouldnt have an ag field without a mother then andjakqk but she does.... idk man#WHAT DID SHINJI DO TO ASUKA. I THOUGHT THAT WAS ONE THING NOT THAT. NOOOOOOOO#NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MISATOOOOOOOOOOO#asuka i will get you out of there i promise#ritsuko's paceful face when pointing a gun at ikari sr ajdiajqiq yeah....#what did this fucking evil man say... cant even say a true fucking thing to a dead woman... DIEEEEE#“thanks to the five (5) women that helped bring this picture to its completion” just the voice actresses yeah i can tell#not the tit touch again.... is this a theme or what... what am i supposed to get from this the heart is in the middle my guy#REI YES!!!! KILL HIM FIRST REI!!! DO HIS HEAD NOW!!!#im sorry... why is rei so scary but then whatever she is turns to a manic pixie dream boy and shinji cries of joy akdhaisjsisk GAY!!!#there is so much to say about this but i am afraid i might be too dumb for it bc nothing comes out but alas im having fun#asuka is shinjis foil but why are they doing this#“does misato really do things like that” refering to sex is the most 14 yo thing that shinji has ever said i get it. everyone does it shinji#i think there is enough what women are triad things in here.... can we stop.... sister mother lover.... woman scientist mother...#we get it you dont get women i thought shinji was opposing kaji by not understanding him when he said men and women are separate...#figured out what an at field is.... thank you thank you.... its what encapsulates your person and ego i get it now....20 minutes left aldhsk#shinji out of all people being the brain.... nepotism bc yui came up with all of this i guess#jumpscared by the real footage after the fuckfest#the footage of the people at the screenings of the movie.... i can't imagine seeing this in a cinema christ#the cordial handhsake with the thank you 😭😭😭 thats the shinji i know....#rei is the lover sister mother but why is there a boy there too?? akdhakshaksjaj i need answers... is that his father?? shinji you're fucked#maybe freud was right maybe i need to kill the freud that lives inside my head. this will make me introspect after all akdhaks#alright. are they meant to repopulate the earth is that it? do i need to stray out of the christianism of it all? asuka i will get you out!!#i have so many questions... like both in narrative and outside of it#i dont wanna think about it now tho.... sick visuals 10/10 on that front#talking tag#watching evangelion
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The Comment Section (pt.6)
─────── · · A Social Media AU Fic
Pairing: Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader
─ · · SUMMARY: I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you. Or when (yourshipname) gets messy after a drunken blur at the Oscars and a hate train...
─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, hurt/comfort, angst, social media au, angst, twitter hate, suggestive themes, alcohol consumption, slowburn, light swearing, kissing, fluff, mutual pinning, friends that act like lovers, friends/lovers.
─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | PART 4.5 | PART FIVE | PART SEVEN
─ · · A/N: don't hate me after this one please! it gets better I swear!
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🔔 (name)s_username just posted for the first time in awhile.
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Liked by co_mill, spennser, sydney_sweeney, and others
(name)s_username we win these!! (your official best supporting actress of 2025- take that haters 😘).
View all 7,342 comments
spennser so fucking proud of you, couldn't think of anymore more deserving than you 🫶
↳ (name)s_username thank you- gosh you have my cryin' again 🫶 ↳ spennser need another hug? ↳ (name)s_username yes, please. ↳ spennser running over now. 🫶
co_mill you are THEE most outstanding person I know 🥹❤️
username44 HOLY SHIT!!!
username90 I screamed at my television when i heard that you won, i love you so much (name)!!
sydney_sweeney can't believe i had the honour to work with you and i am so happy so many others got to realize the pure talent you exude. first film and first oscar of many to come, im sure of it ❤️
↳ (name)s_username sydneyyy! you can't say these things to me- i'm already a mess. the real honour was getting to know, work, and learn with you! couldn't think of anyone else i would want to work with first other than you 🥰 ↳ sydney_sweeney i need another box of tissues, i'm a mess too 😂
username01 (name)!!! OMG I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.
shayne_topp do you think i could borrow that award for a smosh bit??
↳ (name)s_username ummm, sure?? should i be worried? ↳ shayne_topp 🤷 ↳ (name)s_username oh no...
anthonypadilla WTF??- nobody texted me about this earlier, holy fuck congratulations!!! 🎉
glen_powell you looked incredible while accepting that award, you are an inspiration. can't wait to see your next work and happy to know i was part of your journey ❤️
↳ (name)s_username i can't believe its over, thank you so much glenn, for everything. there's no greater first fictional "ex-husband" than you ❤️ XD
angelagiovanagiarratana theres no freaking way my best friend just did that. someone pinch me i am about to go insane /positive
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🔔 (name)s_username just posted!
─────── · ·
Liked by spennser, username01, shayne_topp and others
(name)s_username drunk in love... wait? or maybe just drunk...
View all 10,123 comments
co_mill teehee!! u are so cute.
sydney_sweeney me too babes, me too.
username70 wonder how long it'll be till (name) inevitably takes this post down like all the others...
username01 i have learned from my mistakes and have screenshotted every picture as photo evidence.
username66 kinda getting concerned of all the partying (name) and spencer have gotten into recently. but then again they have never experienced something like this before (on multiple levels 😉).
username30 what is even going on anymore??
username43 okay should I call 999, 911, or somethin'?
username00 never commented on anything but now. just hope you find what you need (name)...
spennser i am drunk.
↳ (name)s_username hahahhahahah! 😊 ↳ spennser 🫶 ↳ (name)s_username 🫶
username54 you both are so calling in sick tomorrow, and maybe the following few days after that.
filmingamanda text me or call me when you get back home please!
(name)s_username okay, okay, okay. ❤️❤️❤️
username90 kinda sad how they can only talk to one another when drunk, or well, you get what i mean...
↳ username23 yeah. ↳ username61 i know that feeling all too well. too scary to loose such a longterm friendship if things didn't work out. ↳ username00 but then you'll always stay dreaming, stay wondering what if it did? ↳ username61 this got deeper than I was expecting. have a lot to think about now...
username10 so... is everyone on smosh wasted?? or just these two??
─────── · ·
🔔 HollywoodNow just posted! check it out?
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Liked by username01, RomComInterviews, and others
HollywoodNow Hollywoods newest and hottest heartthrob (first/name) (last/name) was found walking around downtown L.A. with any unknown man. Spectators say they looked very "cosy" while attending a local art crawl, others account a kiss while getting coffee later in the afternoon. To get more on this story, give us a follow and read the full article on our website- linked in bio!
View all 1,991 comments
username01 i will die on this hill believing the man to be spencer. (i don't think my heart could handle it being anyone else 😭).
username88 please be spencer. please be spencer. please be spencer. PLEASEEEE 🙏😫
username94 i hate paparazzi- like leave by boy/girl (name) alone please!
RomComInterviews want to learn more about (name)? check out our interview with them on our youtube channel alongside sydney sweeney and glenn powell!
(name)s_username 😆 can't believe i have my first gossip article!
↳ spennser this is part of your peak accomplishments ❤️ ↳ (name)s_username for real- going to print this out now! ↳ smosh please stop using up the office printers ink! the art department needs it!! ↳ (name)s_username whaaattt? i'd never think of doing that... 😇 ↳ username41 umm guys? you do know this is not email or sms... right??
username20 so if (name) and spencer both commented on this post... this confirms it... right?
username49 it was going so slow and now (name) and spencer feel like they are moving through relationships at rocket speed. what. is. going. on???
username33 sometimes i wonder where my life went wrong, then i remember there are some people that have it worse out there than me, for example (name). could never imagine going out with people like they do. a real shame.
↳ username71 umm, to put it bluntly as possible, what the actual fuck?? get a life. you're just jealous that you can't pull or even be (name) or spencer. spot putting you, a disappointment, onto others in order to make yourself feel better, get help- you clearly need it. 😃
username25 i am new to this, what is a (yourshipname)? and where do you find one?
username66 please, please, please (name), star in another movie!! I am begging.
username10 does anyone know what product spencer uses for his hair? i'm looking for my boyfriend.
─────── · ·
🔔 (name)s_username just added to their story, check it out!
─────── · ·
─────── · ·
🔔 These tweets are trending right now, retweet it to join the conversation!
─────── · ·
(first/name) (last/name) @ (name)s_username · 3 days ago I should have deleted my social media accounts earlier... 🙈😭 Comment | Retweet | Like | Bookmark
.
Hollywood Now @ hollywood_now · 1 day ago THIS JUST IN... (first/name) (last/name) has just been casted in a secret Netflix series coming soon. link in bio to find out more from us first! Comment | Retweet | Like | Bookmark
.
username24 @ username24 · 12 hours ago Since nobody else is willing to start saying it #imdonewith(name). They PROMISED they would be in more Smosh productions (especially with Spencer) yet it seems they keep getting pulled away by their "acting" stuff. Like WTF do you not care about your fans, the people that gave you a platform and this career??? #imdonewith(name). You would be nothing without us
.
username44 @ username44 · 12 hours ago #imdonewith(name) like congrats I guess but what about all of us?? I mean I cannot afford to watch movies in cinemas or another subscription 😡
.
username31 @ username31 · 12 hours ago Love that at the pinnacle of their career, they are also receiving the same amount of hate. #deserved #imdonewith(name)
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username50 @ username50 · 12 hours ago Where is all this #imdonewith(name) coming from??? When #(yourshipname)forever should be trending???
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username39 @ username39 · 12 hours ago (name) never deserved Spencer in the first place and now they are getting in a relationship when (name) is just going to leave AGAIN?! #imdonewith(name) shame, shame, double- no triple shame on you.
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username11 @ username11 · 12 hours ago Hate how quiet @ spennser has been recently...
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Spencer Agnew @ spennser · just now Missing what never was. this tweet has since been deleted by the user.
─────── · ·
🔔 SmoshGames just uploaded! Turn off notifications here.
─────── · ·
Werewolf but Twilight Edition 🐺🩸
Smosh Pit ✓ [Subscribed] 👍 4k | 👎 7.77M subscribers 90k views 10 hours ago we all are spindermonkeys click to read more
3,139 Comments
username01 I will never forgive both spencer or (name) if they both act super distant in another video EVER AGAIN (I know it was only half the video OKAY?? BUT STILLL). It is officially illegal for you both to not act as anything other than endlessly in love with one another.
↳ username69 PREACH!!! PERIOD!!!!!
username19 And now we all slowly watch as (yourshipname) like all other ships goes tits up in flames.
username00 I don't know whats up or down, left or right anyone after watching this...
username71 so... were they *just* Bella and Edward... or did anyone else see anything, (yourshipname) forever!!
username34 this was a bit... cringe but the vibes were there... as weird as they were...
username75 so... when you "apologizing" then doing what you said you wouldn't do again?
username23 11:24 Spencer: "take all the time you need, i'll always be here, Bella" Agnew and 14:32 (first/name): "i'm listening, i hear you, and i'm sorry, Edward" (last/name).
↳ username05 but how could you forget about their line a few minutes earlier!! 12:55 (first/name) "I will be here for as long as you want me to be, Edward/Spencer" (last/name). ↳ username09 okay sure you both, but 19:41 was peak: (first/name) "theres no place I rather be than with you" (last/name) to Spencers: "I only know want for you until I have you in my arms." I REFUSE to believe this was just them in character. ↳ username07 this whole episode felt like a fever dream, for real.
username99 Damien and Ian were so fucking funny in this one, constantly chocking on the cheap wigs was legendary 😂
username74 Spencer glaring at (name) but then softening seconds after has my heart doing somersaults 💗
↳ username69 they really cannot stay mad for long at one another, its pitiful. ↳ username74 IKR? Like they sat at different ends of the table but by the end I swore they were holding hands underneath the table.
username34 (name) apologizing for mistaking the rules so emotionally to Spencer seemed way more than surface level...
username90 And this friends is the last known video evidence of (name) being a Smosh cast member before they became too "cool" for everyone and went to the silver screen.
username88 I am going to miss (name) so much!!!! 😭 PLEASE DONT LEAVE USSSSS
↳ username24 #imdonewith(name) #imdonewith(name) #imdonewith(name) #imdonewith(name) ↳ username70 get lost and get a life hater. 😃
username13 everyone speaking with a lisp from the plastic teeth made this 10x funnier 😭😆
username22 true enemies to lovers type beat in this video. At the start, (name) and Spencer want nothing to do with one another, they refuse to even look at each other and then after one acted out upon scene they are giving "goo-goo, i'm so sorry" eyes at one another before outro-ing together. These two I swear- And don't even get me started on those whispered "i'm sorrys" throughout the video. WE HEARD THOSEEE editors!!!
username20 (name).
↳ username31 spencer.
username91 im bitter. like i know its not really confirmed by Netflix or (name) yet but... like you promised? i hate sounding like a sad child.
username03 this is all to messy for my liking...
username66 wait so... what did i miss???
↳ username44 "i guess i basically missed the late eighties..."
username51 So... are they together or not? I am so confused somehow help pls 😭
username62 praying that those pictures were real. i need this to be real like i need to breathe.
─────── · ·
🔔 (name)s_username just added to their story, check it out!
─────── · ·
─────── · ·
🔔 spennser just added to their story for the first time in awhile.
─────── · ·
─────── · ·
─ · · A/N: whew! 😥 that was a long ass chapter. what did y'all think??
─ · · COMMENTS SECTION TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @little-stitious-studios @thejourneyneverendsx @sibsteria @lizzylynch1 @cryinghotmess @babble2
#smosh#smosh games#smosh fanfic#smosh fanfiction#spencer agnew#spencer x reader#spencer agnew x reader#spencer agnew fanfic#spencer agnew fanfiction#spencer agnew imagine#fanfic#fanfiction#simp-ly#simp-ly-writes#smosh x reader#social media au#youtube au#au#mutual pining#friends to lovers#angst#fluff#fluff and angst#humor#friends that act like lovers#jealous#jealousy#gender neutral reader#slowburn#x reader
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THE LOVE LASTS SO LONG (blurb 1)
In which the happy couple reaches a major milestone...
series masterlist
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
E-NEWS
Aubrey Yang, Oscar-Award winning actress and award-winning director is set to direct the historical series Circe, based off of the book of the same title. Recently graduated from NYU with a double major in Classics and Film, Yang will take this expertise into her directing for Netflix. Since her Oscar, Yang has directed Episodes 3&4 of PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS, Season 2, Loverland and Boulevard 48. At the young age of 23, we hope to see her continue to thrive in this industry.
Her longtime alleged boyfriend, Oliver Bearman, enters his 7th year of Formula One racing, the young prodigy continuing his contract with Ferrari. Since his debut year, he has won 8 grand prix's and stays consistently on the podium or scoring points.
The two are often seen together at Bearman's races or Yang's premieres. Although nothing has been confirmed between the two, they have been spotted in Monaco, New York, Italy and Vancouver, where they have multiple estates.
Between the alleged couple, they have a net worth of over $40 million: we sincerely hope that a prenup is in their future.
See more: .....
aubreyyang & olliebearman posted
aubreyyang & olliebearman hard launch (and no prenup)
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, f1wags and 108,290 others
comments have been limited
olliebearman posted
olliebearman bagged a baddie 5 years ago, locked her in for forever
I can't believe I get to love you every single day, darling I can't wait to make you a mother and grow old with you. Also your stuck with me forever now love you aubs
tagged: aubreyyang
liked by aryansimhadri, charlesleclerc and 72,850 others
view all comments
f1wagsanddrrivers DAY ONES WILL KNOW THE INSANE PIPELINE
aubreyyangfan19 still remember when Aubrey was a wee baby NOW SHES GETTING MARRIED WHAT
aryansimhadri mama y papa
-- olliebearman im the father who stepped up 😤
alexandrasaintmleux photo creds for the last pic??
-- aubreyyang shout out to Alex our pro photographer
user1 im crying were getting so much content all of a sudden im choking
user4 just saw someone fall to their knees in a Walmart
aubreyyang posted
aubreyyang five years down, forever to go!
I love you my sweet boy, love your kindness, your heart and your laugh. You make me want to be a better person everyday, and I will walk by you for the rest of our lives
liked by oliviarodrigo, kimi_antonelli and 89,218 others
view all comments
oliviarodrigo shoutout to everyone who has had to see the ugly (all of the pda and excess cuteness)
-- dior.n.goodjohn word
-- alexandrasaintmleux word
-- alexalbon word
-- lilymhe word
-- maxverstappen word
-- charles_leclerc word
-- aubreyyang okay were getting flamed 😰
-- olliebearman its okay they're just jealous
comments have been limited
dior.n.goodjohn posted on their story
caption: in honour of ollie and Aubrey hard launching (in the most dramatic way ever) here is a content for the nation
tagged: aubreyyang, olliebearman
arthurleclerc posted on their story
caption: fav couple to thirdwheel
tagged: aubreyyang, olliebearman
charles_leclerc posted on their story
caption: finally
tagged: aubreyyang, olliebearman
alexandrasaintmleux posted on their story
caption: aunt and uncle
tagged: aubreyyang, olliebearman
Twitter
olliebearmanupppdates @olliebearnmanf1p
in honour of mother and father hard launching their 5 year long relationship, everyone comment down below their fav ollbrie moment
olliebearmanupppdates @olliebearnmanf1p
mine is that one time there was a platform w no stairs and she was wearing heels so he jumped off and he told her to throw down her purse and jump so he could catch her AND HE DID THATS A REAL MAN
user1 @ussssserrrr1
NAHHH bc this man is so down bad for her (I would be too shes so fineee) mine is when they were in Charles and Alex's wedding party and they looked so freaking good together RAHH
aubreyxollie @loverboysform1
a personal piece of ollbrie renaissance that is near and dear to my heart is how hes always touching her LIKE JRWOEJ the hand placements on her waist and back every time their out together
aubreyxollie @loverboysform1
also here is a collection of pap pics that make me sob and want to sleep in the highway
aubreyyangcult02 @aubreyyangmyqueen
mine is the fact that they're each others comfort people like every time their together they look so at ease bro
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
Taglist: @callsignwidow @iloveyou3000morgan @honethatty12 @taygrls @destinyg237 @ilivbullyingjeongin @eiaaasamantha @1uvsptnik @yla-aira @ririyulife
© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.
#f1 drivers#f1 smau#f1 x reader#formula 1#ollie bearman#ollie bearman x reader#ollie bearman x you#charles leclerc#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#ollie bearman fluff#ollie bearman imagine#ollie bearman smau#f1 fluff#f1 fic#best friends to lovers#engaged#OLLIE BEARMAN x actress!reader#actress!reader#director!reader#fluff
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big reputation || 2
caitlin clark x actress! reader masterlist - prev - next warnings: none
caitlin_clark22
Liked by kate_martin03, yn_ln, and 820,508 others
caitlin_clark22 by the grace of whatever’s up there 🙏🙏🙏 Tagged: kate_martin03
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kate_martin03 caption’s tuff →caitlin_clark22 enough.
user1 WAIT IS IT A NOD TO Y/N’S TWEET →user2 its def not they don’t even know each other →user3 NO Y/N LIKED THE POST
—
Y/n smiled as she read through Caitlin’s comments. After the eye-opening conversation she had with Kate last night, Y/n had become more open to the idea.
She also thought the caption was cute.
Y/n groaned as her stomach grumbled. She placed her phone on her bed, stood up, cracked her spine, and walked into her kitchen.
Y/n decided to make something easy, then sit on her couch and binge-watch crappy reality tv. This was her first week off in months and she would spend it rotting in her living room like every normal 21-year-old.
Y/n couldn’t tell you the number of below-deck episodes she had binge-watched, but by the time she finished, the sun was down and the crickets were chirping. She begrudgingly stalked back to her bedroom, changing into her pajamas and throwing herself down on her bed.
She picked up her phone, only to drop it a second later in shock.
[yn_ln] Caitlin Clark 4h ago sent you a message
—
Caitlin, on the other hand, was freaking out. She had never even spoken to Y/n before, but Kate had convinced her to DM her.
Caitlin probably typed and retyped her DM 50 times before settling on a ‘hey !’
Caitlin groaned and shoved her phone down after finally hitting send. She couldn’t help but picking up her phone every ten seconds to see if Y/n had opened or responded to her DM.
After 10 minutes, Caitlin had eventually given up hope of a response and sighed, turning off her phone and putting her head in her hands.
Caitlin buisied herself by ordering doordash and sitting on her couch, rewatching film her coaches gave her to look over. She lost track of time and found herself mindlessly picking at her fingers, only coming to when she realized it was past midnight. ]
She groaned as she stood up from the couch, attempting to rub the sleep from her eyes. Caitlin walked into her bedroom as she sat on her bed. She picked up her phone and almost threw it when she saw her most recent notification.
[caitlin_clark22] Yn Ln 20m ago sent you a message
—
Caitlin hey !
Y/n hey yourself sorry for leaving you on delivered i was binge-watching below deck
Caitlin which one?
Y/n mediterranean, duh
Caitlin good. That's the best one Yn liked this message
Y/n so, i’m assuming kate told you to dm me?
Caitlin well, to be honest, i had kinda been wanting to ever since i met you on facetime with kate.
Y/n brother that was 6 months ago 💀
Caitlin LEAVE ME ALONE, OK i'm just a girl
Y/n SO REAL whenever people tell me im doing something wrong i get so annoyed like im just a girl that curb shouldn’t have been there 😠
Caitlin LMFAOO Anyways, yeah, kate finally bullied me into texting my celebrity crush who she just happens to be best friends with
Y/n 🤨🤨 is that all i am to you?? a pretty face?
Caitlin NO NO I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT I SWEAR
Y/n LMFAOO im just fucking with you anyways, going back to that… celebrity crush, you say? 🤨😏
Caitlin 😶 moving on…
Y/n no, no i wanna know
Caitlin umm… basically i’ve just been really obsessed with your show lately and kate told me i should shoot my shot but im now realizing maybe i should save that for the court
Y/n LMFAOO nah, kate was right she showed you my tweet, right?
Caitlin yeah, why?
Y/n because i wasn’t kidding.
#stars444hearts#caitlin clark x reader#caitlin clark#iowa wbb#wnba draft#wnba#wlw#lesbian#wcbb#wcbb x reader#big reputation 444
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━╋ MY RIGHT TO BE HELLISH, final part
jealous by nick jonas
summary: In which y/n y/l/n soft launches her relationship, and Quinn Hughes, attempts to do the same with his. (part 4/4)
pairings: quinn hughes x actress!reader
platonic!jack hughes x reader. social media au
faceclaim: dove cameron
prev part
yourusername
yourusername: i hate (love) him so bad, literally want to get rid of him (be by his side forever) asap! boyfriend for sale (not really) $2!
liked by _quinnhughes, canucks, and others
user1: i was going to ask who this is but quinn’s post gave it away 💀
↳ user2: i don’t think he got the memo 😭
yourusername: well since you don’t know what the fuck a SOFT launch is you can comment.
↳ _quinnhughes: I SAID I WAS SORRY
_quinnhughes: i love you sweet girl
↳ yourusername: i love you more my sweet boy
↳ jackhughes: GAG BARF yourusername
canucks: our newest wag!
njdevils: even though you’re a wag for the WRONG team, congratulations! 🫶🏼
↳ yourusername: still have so much love for you guys don’t worry. still showing off the hughes name
user3: now THIS is a soft launch 🔥🔥
↳ user4: for real what the hell was quinn doing 😭
user5: was lowkey rooting for y/n & luke but they cute or whatever
↳ lhughes_05: we can still be related, sister in law coming when _quinnhughes
↳ yourusername: when you can actually pull bitches who aren’t fan girls under the age of 18 that you don’t even know exist lhughes_06
↳ lhughes_06: uncalled for. yourusername
user6: congrats!
user7: HE GOT THE GIRL
_quinnhughes
_quinnhughes: i’m supposed to be “soft launching” whatever that means.
tagged: yourusername
liked by trevorzegras, lhughes_06, and others
yourusername: WHAT IS THIS 🔥🔥
↳ _quinnhughes: its what you asked for? is it not?
↳ yourusername: baby i said a soft launch not a full on picture of my face and a tag _quinnhughes
user6: THIS A WHOLE EARTHQUAKE LAUNCH LMFOAOAOA
↳ yourusername: I AM CRYINGGGG
user7: to think you guys thought he lost her to jack smh, you guys had no faith in my boy
user8: congratulations you two! ❤️
canucks: wag life or no life
↳ yourusername: canucks get it
trevorzegras: mama y papa
↳ _quinnhughes: no.
↳ yourusername: yes 🤗
jackhughes: bro got a girl before me??
↳ yourusername: you have 0 game
↳ jackhughes: OH OKAY. OH OKAY yourusername
user9: bro did NOT soft launch 😭😭
↳ yourusername: he 😭😭 tried 😭😭
yourusername: i love you sweet boy 🫶🏼
↳ _quinnhughes: i love you sweet girl
user10: so how long have they been keeping this a secret from us ☹️☹️
user11: been their #1 fan since day one
user12: I CALLED IT
user13: i call flower girl
↳ user14: i call bride
↳ yourusername: ?? what. user14
wrote all three of these chapters in a single night. i hope you guys enjoy it as much as i enjoyed making it 🫶🏼
check out my navigation, here!
check out my nhl masterlist, here!
#quinn hughes x y/n#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes#new jersey devils#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes x you#luke hughes x you#luke hughes x y/n#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes#vancouver canucks#hockey x reader#hockey#nhl hockey#hockey x you#nhl x you#nhl x y/n#nhl x reader#instagram au#social media au#social media#instagram#trevor zegras#trevor zegras x reader#jamie drysdale#trevor zegras x you#trevor zegras x y/n#jamie drysdale x reader
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Soft Launch
luke hughes x actress!reader
note: please don't look up the date of kick a ginger day cause it does not line up but please let me have this
y/n_l/n
liked by jackhughes, sabrinacarpenter, and others
tagged: @/sabrinacarpenter, @/naileadevora
y/n_l/n: spot the difference, level impossible
view all comments
july 9
max1989: you even have the twilight filter over both this is level impossible
jenna_: wtf is ethan edwards doing in y/n's comments??
SueMe_13: more importantly why are him and y/n so buddy-buddy
e.edwards.stan: isn't she dating luke?
zebra_zegras_11: WHAT?! 😲
julien.bakers_wife: i ain't never seen two pretty best friends cause i see three
naileadevora: we look so hot 😍😍
y/n liked this comment
edwards.73: what does the redhead have on her face?
y/n_l/n: ..a face mask?
edwards.73: no i know that i was talking about the other redhead
y/n_l/n: your just sour i rejected you cause i have a bf
enchanted.by.y/n: YOU HAVE A WHAT???
edwards.73: idk what you see in that kid
danelle1989: possible her and jack are dating? like are we sure it's luke
steph_43: that's what i'm saying because she's like the same age as jack
all_too.unwell: jack in the likes and ethan in the comments her and luke are not being very subtle
y/n_l/n
liked by miagoth0, lhughes_06, and others
y/n_l/n: photo dump.. also taking new friend applications because all my 'friends'' kicked me today #keepinggingerssafe
view all comments
september 6
pheobe.86: he got her flowers 💕
emma.loves.y/n: the bar is on the floor
drysdalelove_: i still think she's dating jack 🤷♀️
conner_mcdavid_fan: can't believe luke picked out those gorgeous flowers
matilda_styles: someone cooked there
_inlovewith.caufield: someone = y/n
alex.turtle: looking like a date..
tswift_1213: your kinda right
marauders.fans: it could just be a friend like Sabrina or Billie or Dove
brina.and.y/n_fan: she would have tagged them if it was a friend
snow.lands.on.top_ofME: how do i apply?
billiebosanova: don't know who would want to date her
your-so-gorgeous: those flowers are y/n if she were flowers
jackhughes: i wonder who bought those flowers..👀
burrows_darling: he love causing a little chaos
bedard_lover: proof she's dating jack not luke!
hannah.montana_stan: quick y/n look out! there's a man in that car!
cold_as_youuu: chaotic y/n photo dumps are my favourite!
lacy_: luke liked!!
im_a_mirrorball: who?
lacy_: 💀
y/n_l/n
liked by _quinnhughes, taylorswift, and others
y/n_l/n: when i get my paris by taylor swift moment>>>
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september 25
the.c0ck.22: more flowers, where do i find a man like this
loving_lhughes: that is just so obviously jack to me
nico.13.wife: its okay to be wrong 😊
laurieandamy: that cuddle position>>
kaylor.ships.13: she's so overhyped
y/n.dani_: his hands holding her thighs like that 🥵
gerwig_film_fan: that dress is so pretty
y/n_l/n
liked by lhughes_06, dylanduke25, and others
tagged: lhughes_06
y/n_l/n: the rumours are terrible and cruel, but honey must of them are true... so this is my man, ya'll been wondering thought i should show him off and show off how much i love him
also have to address this. am i okay?? i went to a football game and a hockey game this week, someone please check on me.
view all comments
october 7
y/n.alltoowell: girl you don't have to hide his face you tagged him
carmen_lana: y/n is getting too unhinged with that last pic
trevorzegras: still don't know how you pulled this off lukey
jackhughes: it is a fucking mystery
y/n_l/n: have you seen him?
jackhughes: thats gross
hughes_love: she's so absolutely real for that
inlovewith.hughesbrothers: luke keep it pg!
loverofdogs: no clue what luke sees in her, he could do so much better
trevorzegras: could you introduce me to taylor now?
colecaufield: me too!!
_quinnhughes: so happy for you and lukey i mean he's been in love with you since he was 15
lhughes_06: dude shut up
y/n_l/n: thank you for being the only one to actually say their happy for us!!
jackhughes: you know im happy for you both i just still can't believe it
wes.and.libby: they are so hot in the last pic 😍
jackhughes: lukey! watch those hands
edwards.73: still don't know what you see in this kid
dylanduke25: it's insane he pulled her
y/n_l/n: let me say this again have you seen him?
lhughes_06: thanks gorgeous
jackhughes: 🤮
potter.wife: i don't know who i want to be more
nai_my_girl: no i know i want to be luke
wonderland_stan: his hand placement 🥵 everyday i fall more in love with this man
lhughes_06: you're so gorgeous
y/n_l/n: you're perfect 😭
never.a.god: y/n and taylor in their wag era
ethan.e.wife: luke hughes, king of manifestation
lhughes_06: i love you too
y/n_l/n: i love you more
lhughes_06: i love you most
y/n_l/n: 💗💗💗
#luke hughes x actress!reader#luke hughes x fem!reader#luke hughes oneshot#luke hughes#luke hughes x famous!reader#luke hughes x y/n#luke hughes x reader#jack hughes#quinn hughes#hughes brothers
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EARTH ARCADE!READER/AHN YUJIN
headcanons and moments between earth arcade member!reader and ahn yujin.
tags: 1.5k words of pure fluff.
warnings: none probably
you were the 5th member of earth arcade. a young actress that has been garnering attention recently.
laughter echoed throughout the stairway. suddenly, nervousness prevents you to climb the last few steps of the stairs . you peek in the corner to see a familiar face facing the doorway, lee youngji.
deciding there’s really no choice but to move forward you enter the doorway, bowing and greeting. everybody paused for a second, then chaos ensued.
“woah!” lee eunji, a comedian you often see on TV, exclaims before reciting your lines from your latest drama.
mimi, from oh my girl, joins in not soon after. even going as far playing the role of your scene partner.
“thank you for having me. nice to meet you.” you greet politely.
“gosh. you’re so formal.” younji poked fun good-naturedly at your antics despite bowing in response. “don’t worry. im sure she’s going to be infected by your rowdiness soon enough.” eunji quickly replied earning a loud laugh from mimi.
“wait. wait. do you know anybody in this room?” this time it was producer na who took a jab at your surprising awkwardness.
“well, i know you.” you look straightly at producer na. he chuckled at your honesty.
“i know everybody from TV and mostly from social media. this is my first time meeting everybody.”
before you can react, you hear youngji let out a load “oh!”. you turn towards the door to see ahn yujin, one of the literally and figuratively hottest idols in the industry.
you’ve only seen her on your screen. now, your mouth gape at the sight of the real thing. ahn yujin in the flesh.
withouth thinking, you bowed repeatedly like an idiot. “oh my gosh, what an honor!”
“miss y/n l/n. oh my god.” yujin ran over to you. and the sole reason you stopped your continuous bowing was to admire her. ‘wow, she’s so close.’
your eyes popped out their sockets as she takes your hand and shakes it gently. “im a big fan. i watch your dramas religiously. i can name all your projects, i’ve watched each of them at least twice.” she professes, not once pausing.
“thank you. what an honor. im a big fan of yours as well. wow, you’re hands are so soft. sorry, im being weird. its just- wow.” you breathed out.
laughter echoed through the room as everybody watched your exchange.
“its like one fan girl meeting another.” mimi exclaims. “their eyes turned heart-shaped for a moment like those cartoon characters” eunji added.
your eyes find yujin’s only to find hers already looking you.
yujin was a big fan of yours even way before meeting you in jiraksil. what she didn’t know was that you were bigger fan of hers.
you rummage through your luggage until you found what you were looking for. if the people around you didn’t know any better they would've you were a thief thirsty for something valuable.
“y/n, you look like a racoon in a garbage can.” mimi jested.
“aha! found it!” you exclaimed, holding up a package in the air like its a trophy.
eunji steps closer to inspect. “its an…album.” she traced confusedly.
“yep.” you walked towards yujin who was watching the entire scene unfold through the comforts of her bed.
you held the album with both your hands and extended your arms towards her, looking similar to a school girl confessing to her crush by giving chocolates.
“will you please sign it.” you shut your eyes tightly, like a school girl afraid of getting rejected.
in the show, you play the good-for-nothing chaos maker role together with younji.
“oh come on. do i really have to pair up with you?” yujin complains but her wide smile betrays her.
“how could you say that?” you exclaim then proceeds to chase yujin around, puckering your lips and making kissing sounds while opening your arms. you both run around, you chasing her and yujin trying to escape your grasp. she squeals and giggles. and when you did catch her you wasted no time in tickling her.
“somebody get these two love birds away from me. i can’t watch any longer.” younji makes a gagging noise.
nine times out of ten you mess up causing you to receive an earful from a perfectionist yujin.
“you should've known that! it was so easy!” yujin berates you. but despite her words, her smile beams at you brightly.
“how would i know that? that song is practically ancient.” your hands fly up in the air defensively.
“even i know that.” yujin retorts.
“that’s because you’re like a grandma in teenagers body. a normal person your age wouldn’t know that.” you argued.
“what?!” yujin looked at you dramatically like you’ve done an unspeakable crime, like you just kicked a dog.
“there they go again. they’re like an old married couple.” eunji deadpans at the camera.
yujin likes annoying and bullying you as a form of showing her adoration.
“eunseo-ah! i got something to tell you!” yujin stand from the couch abruptly to recite your lines from your drama.
usually, you take pride in your work but yujin had impersonated you for the nth time today that you can’t help but cover your ears.
“somebody please! make it stop!” you plead. the other members chuckle at your misery.
“eunseo-ah! i’ve like you since we were kids! please go out with me.” yujin continued, this time much more dramatic than the last.
she's reenacting a scene from one of your most famous dramas. a scene where your love interest, which yujin is embodying right now, is confessing love to your character, eunseo.
“eunseo-ah! eunseo-ah” the idol shakes your arm giddily as you look straight. she takes entertainment at your exasperation. and continues to mimic your characters from various dramas for the rest of the night.
yet she never fails to show her adoration towards you in other ways.
“eunji, what do you think?” yujin asks the older girl who was browsing at the rack of clothes.
“it looks amazing on you! you should buy it!” eunji encourages the younger girl.
“oh! it isn’t for me. its for y/n” yujin clarifies.
“im sure she’d be happy to receive that. in fact, im sure she’d be over the moon with anything you give her.” eunji recalls how much you dote on yujin. “you could get her a random rock and she’d probably treasure it like it’s from space.”
yujin’s cheeks flared red at the thought. eunji laughs at her embarrassed state. “you’re both such dorks.”
in the end, yujin couldn’t decide which one you’d like best so she bought three different clothes for you.
your relationship peaked in the wake up mission where you secretly help yujin because you felt bad for her.
you found out yujin’s mission when you entered the shower after her. the shower reeked of garlic. you had to laugh at the absurdity of the smell. in addition, there were bits and pieces of garlic skin on the floor. putting two and two together didn’t take long after that.
the lights were out. youngji and mimi were asleep but you were unable to. so you ventured out until you heard noises. it was faint but your mind is still alert from all the caffeine you took that day.
heading towards the noise, you found yourself before yujin and eunji’s room. you carefully open the door to meet yujin’s wide eyes.
yujin looked like a lunatic holding the pestle midair with her crazy eyes. you chuckle lightly, tiptoeing towards her. “you’re too competitive for your own good.”
“don’t tell anybody.” yujin quickly pleads.
“there’s no one to tell anything to.” your words put her at ease. at much ease someone mincing garlic in the middle of the night could feel.
“why are you still awake anyway?” she asks you silently. “i don’t know. i guess my body was itching to pester you.” even through the dark, yujin’s smile still shined bright. and you hoped the darkness was enough to hide the redness of your cheeks.
fans adore your dynamic with yujin. the push and pull relationship you both have managed to gather a lot of attention on social media.
“everybody, slow down. i can’t read your comments, they’re too fast.” you squint at the screen. you were live on instagram, hoping to interact with your fans.
after the live chat had slowed down, one comment managed to catch your eye.
“are you wearing yujin’s shirt?” you looked down at the said piece of clothing. sure, you had no memory of buying this particular shirt but that goes a lot for your other shirts as well. some were sponsored, gifts or bought while drunk. you assumed it was one of those three.
until, a loud ping came from your phone and a notification popped at the top of your screen.
yujinnie: yes, that’s mine. i put it on your suitcase so it’ll remind you of me ;).
you smile like an idiot while reading the text. then, you realize something. yujin is watching this live because how else would she send that in perfect timing.
your face flush at the thought of her being amongst the thousands watching you right now. and you flush a shade darker, because she must’ve witnessed you grin at her text.
the comment remained unanswered as you decided to keep this detail to yourself.
even after filming season one, yujin continues to support you by posting scenes from your drama. her instagram quickly transformed into a fanpage because of how often she would fan girl about you.
#ahn yujin#an yujin#ive imagines#ive imagine#ive x reader#ive x you#ahn yujin x reader#ahn yujin x you#yujin x reader#yujin x you#ahn yujin imagines#ahn yujin imagine#yujin imagine#yujin imagines#ive headcanons
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always the ones you least expect | esteban ocon instagram au
pairing: esteban x actress!reader
when rumours circulate that y/n y/ln is dating an f1 driver people forget to root for the underdog
(face claim is saoirse ronan because i love her and everything she has ever been in)
popcrave
liked by taylorswift, estebanocon and 512,801 others
tagged: yourusername
popcrave y/n y/ln is nominated for best actress for her role in little women, making this her third ever nomination. it girl.
view all 11,027 comments
florencepugh so so deserved
loveletterstoyn i would jump in front of a moving train if she told me to
user45 please seek help
timotheechalamet literal royalty
liltimmyt so like when are yall gonna admit you’re in a relationship
emmawatson such an inspiration
yourusername
liked by timotheechalamet, charles_leclerc and 2,087,156 others
tagged: florencepugh, emmawatson
yourusername so so grateful for this nomination. this film was such an experience for me and led to me meeting so many amazing women. thank you so much to the little women family, love you all.
view all 40,912 comments
timotheechalamet miss you all already
f1wagsupdates so charles, lewis, esteban, pierre and mick all liked, which one do we think it is?
ynprotector31 it’s literally an oscar nomination post can you guys fuck off
leclercies16 it’s definitely charles
likedbypierregasly y’all set esteban up putting him on this list, be real
gretagerwig my heart is always so full for you
lewishamilton congrats y/n, very deserved
sirlewy44 I TOLD YALL ITS HIM OMG
estebanocon
liked by yourusername, lancestroll and 201,651 others
estebanocon
view all 2,915 comments
lancestroll dapper fellow
estebanocon tears in my eyes bro
estemcbestie he’s so ???
ynoscarwinner y/n liked.... thoughts being thunk
user341 be fucking real
estebanoconnnnnn i have faith in my frenchie
user341 your delusion needs to be studied
yourusername added to their story
yourusername added to their story
estebanocon
liked by lancestroll, yourusername and 431,521 others
estebanocon suited and booted
comments are turned off
yourusername
liked by florencepugh, emmawatson and 3,103,988 others
yourusername i can’t even begin to put it into words what this means to me. thank you for all the support, everything has led to this and i’m more grateful than you can imagine.
view all 51,023 comments
timotheechalamet LETS FUCKING GO
charles_leclerc congrats y/n!!
estebanocon beyond proud
user123 mans thinks she knows who he is
zendaya one of the best to do it
estebanocon
liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 731,912 others
tagged: yourusername
estebanocon turns out the winning feeling is actually ten billion times better when it’s the one you love. so proud of you y/n.
view all 23,871 comments
user591 HOLY FUCKING SHIT
pierregasly congrats to y/n and all that jazz but @yukitsunoda0511 you owe me £50
yukitsunoda0511 idk whether i’m more annoyed i lost or that you backed the guy you supposedly hate so much
timotheechalamet good now i can publicly demand paddock passes
florencepugh yeah we kept this secret so long we deserve them
estebanocon you got it
esteoconstan este being besties with the hollywood big guns i SUPPORTED HIM BEFORE THIS LET IT BE KNOWN
yourusername i love you estie, i’m so glad you could come with me (the suit was a definite plus)
ynylnlover77 i love them your honour
yourusername
liked by estebanocon, zendaya and 2,871,045 others
tagged: estebanocon
yourusername i guess the cats out of the bag. i love the french
view all 51,780 comments
estebanocon did what the humble croissant could not. i feel unbeatable.
lancestroll someone is getting a bit ahead of themselves
yourusername no he’s right
ynylnstan NOOOOO Y/N STAND UP STOP
dannyric3333 she’s in love, but it’s not with me when will it end
yourusername added to their story
yourusername
liked by estebanocon, timotheechalamet and 1,098,761 others
tagged: estebanocon
yourusername he didn’t lie when he said the winning feeling feels better when it’s the one you love. my baby is a racewinner, so so so so so so proud of you este
view all 61,814 comments
estebanocon thank you my love, you being there made it all so much better
yourusername all my pleasure, this paddock life might be for me
user889 NO MISS MA’AM YOU CAN’T QUIT ACTING
yourusername don’t worry there’s still so much to come
f1stan77 the way they all doubted him, my king came through
f1 our new favourite couple, see you soon y/n!!!
a/n this one is super long, hope yall enjoy. este bestie is severely underrated.
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1 x reader#esteban ocon#esteban ocon x you#esteban ocon x reader#esteban ocon instagram au#instagram au
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afterglow | pedro pascal [2/3]
"tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine, even when i lose my mind"
previous chapter: [1]
summary: being nominated for an oscar was a dream come true, until you had to spend the rest of the night near your deceitful ex who still loved you.
pairing: actor!pedro x actress!reader
genre: acting world!au, enemies/exes to lovers ?? au | angst, fluff, fighting, mature
word count: 15k
status: 2/3 complete
author's note: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT LOVES. even though its gonna be three parts lol i still want you to want more. i've been confused on my writing because tbh- i feel like i could do better and keep rushing with these storylines and end up regretting them AFTER they are posted lol. not edited- it really isn't.
"Let's cut the chit-chat and get some real answers, why did y'all breakup?"
"Andrew!"
"Three days have passed, she's fine now," he defended, shrugging as Florence shot him an irritated look by his prying behavior.
It has indeed been a few days since the terrible night that consisted in you meeting your favorite artist, crying beside her, running awkwardly away right after, having a screaming match with your ex, and then passing out in the car.
So, you couldn't deny it wasn't a memorable night.
The past three days could've been better to say the least if your management team stopped spamming you with text messages concerning the fight, maybe even ignoring the loads of pictures of your crying face.
Oh, the pictures. Not a fun sight to see.
Luckily for you, the pictures were only ones inside the party near Andrew- not Pedro. Unfortunately, though, your picture was turned into a 'crying in the club' meme.
You couldn't exactly be mad over it, you loved memes.
Thank the Lords the paparazzi were clueless and never ended up catching your argument with Pedro or you wouldn't know how to cover it up.
You could never get away with the typical 'friends fighting' after he shouted how much he loved you.
And bless the celebrities near you for minding their business.
To clear up your meltdown, you took it upon yourself to send out a quick tweet the next morning with a "i'm sorry i'm an emotional drunk. one second we're talking about 500 days of summer and then...well you already know how THAT ends."
In that moment you couldn't care less if people believed you or not, this was going to pass fast anyway.
Now here you were, sitting in front of your kitchen bar as Andrew and Florence decided to pay you a visit because they missed you- or so they say.
Realistically, they wanted to see if you were still a hot mess.
Which you weren't, obviously.
Shailene would have tagged along, but she was busy doing grown up things, such as working on her latest project Andrew claimed which was a slight bummer. She was the mediator, now who else was going to stop the arguments calmly between your two friends.
Florence disagreed, shaking her head. "You can't just ask her that, it's impolite."
Sighing, Andrew sent you an apologetic glance. "Okay, I am sorry." Not taking his eyes off you, you could feel his curiosity and eagerness from the other side of the kitchen. "But we're all thinking it."
Judging by how unresponsive Florence became, you could tell she wasn't going to fight him on this. And well, she was secretly on his side because your fight with Pedro was seriously excessive.
She just wanted to know what he could've done to make you so angry, it didn't make sense to her if he did cheat. He didn't seem like the type, but some people do the most surprising things- so she couldn't really tell.
"Do you want the last reason or all of them?"
Widening his eyes, Andrew shares a glance with Florence for a swift second before finding your eyes. "Last reason?"
"The last fight we had that led us to finalize our breakup."
"Finalize," he giggled, leaning on the marble counter. "This isn't a divorce process."
"For a person who is so concerned about my relationship crisis, you seem to be catch on to the most irrelevant stuff."
"So you admit you still want to be with him," Andrew declared, giving a smug look as you tried to process his words. "If you're still stressing over him, it means you don't want to let him go."
"I never said I was stressing over hi-"
"Did she or did she not just claim she was undergoing a crisis-," Andrew interrupted, slightly raising his voice. "-a relationship crisis, to be exact."
Florence sheepishly looked your way, capturing your stern expression before slowly nodding.
Your male friend clapped his hands loudly before bursting out a wider grin, happy someone had his back. "There we have it, if he's on your mind that much to turn into a crisis- you still love him!"
Furrowing your brows, you didn't know how to respond. It was true, you had many moments where Pedro agitated you even when you haven't been near him for quite some time.
But isn't being wound up over an ex part of healing?
Truth be told, you knew your feelings for Pedro hadn't completely disappeared, but love? You weren't even sure love existed by your past experiences.
"I do not love him," you hiss, vigorously snatching the water bottle on the counter and aggressively opening it. "How can love be real? It's baffling."
"Questioning the real question with a question," he sneers, making Florence and you become confused as ever. "You're so in love him."
Florence cuts in, squinting her face in puzzlement. "Wait- what's the real question she's supposedly questioning with a question?"
"Love!" he cheers happily before placing his hand on his palm, dreamingly gazing at you. "You have your doubts on what love may be, but without knowing it you're having them because you're questioning your love to Pedro since you're too scared to admit you still love him."
"I don't get it."
Rolling your eyes, you swiftly turn away and head towards your living room to lay on your couch. You were not in the mood to have someone else tell you what your feelings were when they weren't you. "I'm done with this conversation."
Hearing a low slapping noise, following an irritated hiss, you could make out Florence's displeased voice. "See what you did! Now she's not going to tell us."
"So much for moral support, you really are nosy," Andrew fought back, whispering loudly.
A minute or two went by since you couldn't make out what they were saying before rushed footsteps soon made their way near you as your friends awkwardly smiled, hoping they didn't upset you too much.
Because they really wanted to know the drama.
Pushing him roughly from behind, Florence sent you an innocent smile as Andrew landed near your side of the couch, trying his best to hold his composure and not turn back around and start another fight.
Placing a light hand on your shoulder, you blankly glance at it before meeting his attention. "We just wanted you to know we totally understand if you aren't comfortable...expressing your past-"
"Get your hand off me and let's get this over with so you two can leave already."
Florence quickly sat right beside Andrew, both not offended with your statement because they were fully aware of how annoying the were becoming.
Before you could say anything, Florence quickly spoke aloud. "Start from the beginning!" Andrew slowly looking back to her, he sent her a confused look. "So we aren't lost, of course."
Laughing lightly, you nod before adjusting yourself on your seat. It was going to be hard to remember all the details clearly because there really wasn't an exact time issues occurred, it kind of just naturally appeared here and there.
Now that you think of it, majority of the tiny disputes during the earlier days of your relationship were probably on the same level as when you two were splitting, but maybe the dense ones created towards the end really made it hard to continue.
"If I'm being totally honest, we never really had problems when we first started dating. He was really great," you begin, clutching onto a pillow you found right beside you. "And he would always make sure to watch me make it inside my house before leaving, that was when I knew he wasn't some fling."
Andrew smirked, nodding proudly. "Classic move."
Smiling at the thought, you focused your mind to uncover the ugly truths that slowly tore you two apart.
"But then one day, I wanna say a few weeks after our second anniversary, we just started...fighting?"
Tilting your head, you look down as sad memories began pouring through your mind completely. "It wasn't our usual small fights over who left the bathroom floor wet or dropping his ipad in the pool-"
"-you dropped his ipad in the pool?" Florence coughed, bewildered by your scandalous actions.
"He wanted to know if it was waterproof," you defended.
"Was it?"
"No," you nervously reply, avoiding their eyes. "But he had it backed up and I bought him a new one!"
"That was kind of a bitchy move," Andrew muttered, catching your pissed gaze. "But at least you made up for it!"
Maybe it wasn't that great of an idea to just throw it in, but he did say he was really curious and wanted to dump it under the sink.
"Anyway," you start back up again, making Andrew lowly sigh in relief. "Our fights were never that serious, or at least not until he started filming for that new tv series he joined."
Florence spoke up, lightly questioning "The Last of Us?"
Nodding, you shrugged. "I guess it's normal to say the time apart did cause a rift in our relationship, but it wasn't too bad. He always made sure to call and facetime at least once every two days."
"But one day when he was visiting during his week break he just...snapped?" you frowned, not even wanting to visualize the tiny argument.
You had to for your own good.
"He had been home for maybe two days before he suddenly became moody. Like- his attitude was insane, I have never seen him like this ever," you sigh, closing your eyes for a second before continuing. "He didn't want to go out to eat, didn't want me to make him food, and when I offered to have it delivered he slammed the bedroom door on my face and claimed he was going to bed."
"Woah, why would he do that?" Andrew asked, seriousness splattered all over his face.
You wish you knew.
"Not sure, I just thought maybe work was stressing him out so I wanted him to have his alone time to clear his mind."
"Did that work?"
Sitting up straighter, you send a sorrowful smile. "For the rest of that week-yes. He ended up apologizing to me when I tried going to bed and said his manager was being tough on him for some scenes they had done."
You remember the moment you walked inside your bedroom, disappointed that he was awake. Not wanting to cause more tension, you planned to sneak under the covers and deal with the incident in the morning.
But his arms slowly wrapping over your waist as you had your back facing him said otherwise. Pulling you closer, you remember the soft "please don't be mad at me" he whispered near your ear, making sure you felt his tight embrace as if to prove you were his.
That night ended with you turning your body over to face him, accepting his open arms as a way to answer his pleading way of forgiveness.
Like always.
"Once he went back to work, we still talked- but I could tell he wasn't fully engaged like he always was," you sulk, remembering the first time you caught him not listening. "It got to the point where I purposely stopped answering his calls."
Your friends quickly send you a shocked look, you continue before they could intercept. "I couldn't handle his lack of attention, I would rather have him panic from the rejected calls than just tell him why I was upset."
It wasn't your best move, but you were frustrated. It wasn't fair that he was the one who got to treat you poorly and you had to accept it.
You admit, maybe if you communicated with him about these issues you could've prevented many future arguments and even saved your relationship.
But you were human and sometimes humans act human.
"Then what happened?" Andrew asked, a curious appearance plastering his face. "You continued ignoring him?"
Laughing lightly, you shake your head. It was the plan, but plans don't always work out. "Actually, he secretly took a flight back home one weekend and confronted me."
Gasping, Florence jumped up in her seat and moved her leg under her. "No way!"
"Yes, way," you sheepishly reply, embarrassed at the memory. You can still picture the way Pedro stood in your shared bedroom as you stepped out of your bathroom, jumping at the sight of him.
Standing with his arms crossed with his bags thrown by the door, he was determined to figure out what was going on with you.
"I wouldn't say we engaged in a heated argument, but it was surprisingly really emotional."
Andrew leaned his body closer, too interested not to let his questions slide. "Were you guys never emotional? I feel like every couple experiences those moments together- it's what makes them stronger."
It should've made you two stronger, but instead it made you weaker without you realizing it.
"Pedro and I had our minor instances, but it never involved problems we were facing," you began, sighing slightly. "All I remember was finding him standing near the bed with no emotion- none. I couldn't read what he may have been feeling, he just looked so....empty?"
"Empty? That's not good." Florence commented.
"That could mean a lot of things, not necessarily anger," Andrew added, trying to make you feel better.
"I knew deep down he was mad, as he should be- I was the one ignoring him," you defended him, taking full responsibility over your childish actions. "But I could tell he was more hurt that mad."
"What did he say?"
"What's going on?" Pedro questioned, his eyes not daring to leave yours as you freeze- stopping your attempts at brushing your wet hair, extremely confused as to why he was here.
He wasn't supposed to visit for another month, or so he said.
"Pedro?" you squint your eyes, still not sure if he was really in front of you or maybe you were daydreaming. You were high off many shots of espressos, it's finally hitting you. "Is that you?"
Still staring plainly at you, he stays right where he was. In any other circumstances he would have run up and wrapped his arms tightly around you, but this night was different.
He looked disorientated, out of place. His eyes lacked intensity as his body followed, looking as stiff as ever. Even his breathing matched his energy, calm yet unsettled.
You left him confused and he did not like that. "Answer my question."
Batting your eyes faster, you realize what was going on and where he was. Gasping, you do the exact opposite of what he wanted. "What the hell are you doing here?! You're not supposed to be home- you could get fired a-"
Taking a hold of your arms, he stills you and ignores your rambling. "What-" he begins, moving his right hand to the back of your neck and forcing you to focus on him only. "-is going on?"
Freezing, you try to back your head away from his grip but he tightens his grasp, making sure to not be too rough so he doesn't actually hurt you- he would never do such a thing. "I don't understand-"
"You haven't been answering my calls, what else is there to understand?" He sternly recalls, not wanting you to bullshit your way out of this. "So you either have been ignoring me on purpose to be petty or this is your way of hinting you don't want to be with me anymore."
Shaking your head frantically, you try to talk but he cuts you off again. "-And don't say you've been busy. You and I both know I would have figured out if you had added projects to your schedule- your mom tells me everything."
If this were a good time, you would have laughed at his side comment regarding your mother, but it wasn't.
"Not everything," you spit out, causing him to squint his face and release his hands from you.
"Are you trying to tell me something? Are you not happy? Is that why you've been avoiding my calls?" he questions, tilting his head in bewilderment, not liking your attitude at the moment. "Because if you really don't want to be with me you should've told me sooner than leaving me feeling fucking clueless while I'm out in another country working."
"I'm not saying I don't want to be with you-"
"But you aren't denying it," he intercepts, firmly nodding in realization. "I get it, I'm just glad I know now and won't have to wait another month to finally understand how you're feeling."
Walking away from you, Pedro walks towards his bags and reaches down for them. You scoff at his disturbed demeanor. There is no way you should be the only one at fault here- you both made mistakes.
Pushing his backpack off his hands, he watches at it lands on the floor before instantly finding your eyes. "Are you seri-"
"Just because I'm avoiding your calls doesn't mean I want to end our relationship" you shriek, glaring at him as his eyes soften at your hidden truth.
Your angered expression and stiff posture hits him like a brick, there was something really bothering you and he was too oblivious to acknowledged it until you began overlooking him.
Taking a deep breath, you watch as your boyfriend intently examines you as if he's trying to read your impractical mind. Sometimes, he wished you would speak up when something was bothering you, in fact- he has told you many times in the past to do so.
But the idea of patiently waiting until it erupts is what he's sure you've normalized in fear of desertion. Or maybe refusal of reality- the two of you weren't perfect.
"What's going on?" He calmly questions again, dropping any signs of fury and replaces it with worry and concern. Reaching out to you, he softly clasps your shoulder before moving in a few inches. "Am I making you upset?"
Slapping his hand away, you cross your arms over your chest in agitation. "I'm mad at you!"
Blinking a few times, he couldn't believe how fast you spilled and chaotic your energy was. He's never seen you act this hysterical and to be honest, he was really debating asking if you were on your period or not. "Why?"
Pursing your lips together, you release your arms and let them fall on your sides. "You know why!" With that, you turn your back to him and make your way back to your bathroom to hide.
At this point, you felt it was acceptable to act unbearable- he left you feeling insignificant and you weren't going to hold it in anymore.
If you stayed there any longer you knew you would break down into tears. Showing your vulnerable side this early into an argument was too easy, you have to show how bold you were in order to get your point across.
Or anger across.
But it was really hard to hold a grudge, he was just so- loving, despite your recent incidents. Deep down, he did care about you and wanted to validate your feelings- or as best he could.
Grabbing anything you could find near your sink, you begin opening some moisturizer and splatter it around your hands to keep you busy. You could feel Pedro come inside your shared bathroom but you don't dare to peep his way.
"Honey- please," you heard him release a soft sigh as he stood behind you, watching through your huge mirror in front of the two of you. He could make out your distressed appearance and you were absolutely not fine. "You can't just steer clear from this, we need to talk about it-"
Slamming the poor jar on the counter, you swiftly twist your body to his front and feel all the rage taking control. "But did you want to talk all those times I called you?! No, you didn't give one fuck about me or Leia!"
"You named your dog after Princess Leia? That's smart," Andrew butted in, grinning. "You know, since he's in the Mandalorian and Star W-"
"We get it."
Maybe it was wrong to bring your beloved corgi into such a serious topic, but she was abandoned by her father too.
"I did talk to you! I made sure to call you whenever I had time an-"
"I'm glad I made it into your schedule- but maybe if you considered adding some compassion and empathy it wouldn't feel like I'm just another business call you hate!"
Panting, you send daggers his way as his eyes widen. Did you just say he doesn't care about your calls? Impossible- he loves your calls, it makes his days better.
"You aren't a business call and you know that. Honey, please understand- hey!" He cuts himself off once you finally had enough of his poor attempts to defend himself, trying to flee but he ends up being quicker on his feet and yanking you back to his arms.
But once you were wrapped around him, even though it was for pure captivity and not warmth, you instantly broke down. He didn't know you were in tears until he felt his shirt become damp and still then he just thought you were trying to spit on him out of anger.
Hearing your tiny whimpers, he immediately glanced down and lifted you up to catch a clear view of your face, despite your protests and blockings. "Baby, I-I didn't mean to make you cry-"
"You don't mean a lot of things," you spit out, swatting his hands that dared to reach your face. You weren't in the mood to make up, all you wanted to do was sleep your troubles away, especially with the draining work day you had.
Continuing your pulling, Pedro began becoming annoyed with your strong protests against his affection. Isn't this what you wanted? "Why won't you let me hold you? I want to console you, can't I be your boyfriend for the night and tomorrow you can continue hating me?"
"You see my tears and now you want to hold me but admit we'll still be out of place tomorrow? That's acceptable for you?" you laugh ruthlessly, allowing space to be brought in front of you. "Do you hear yourself?"
Groaning, he rubs his face hard before speaking his mind, trying not to sound too furious and scare you. "What do you want me to do? I admit, I did lack some energy-"
"Some?" you snort to yourself, your face still wet.
"Don't interrupt me," he declared, shaking his head at how rude you were becoming. "I wasn't the best partner, okay?! There, I admit it, but you don't understand how it is working constantly and not being able to see family and friends and-"
"It's like you don't even know me at all," you ignorantly chuckle over his nonsense and walk towards your bed.
What a way to dismiss your feelings.
"That's not what I meant," he sighs, following after and stopping you from opening your covers and hiding underneath them. "It's just hard being away from everyone I love, I'm in a different country. It's not like I can drive an hour away and suddenly see them!"
"I can't do that either!"
"Can't you just please, please, please- consider that my mindset is not good right now," he declares, his eyes filling with sadness as his arms slowly find your waist. Taking a deep breath, you watch as he looked up at the ceiling before biting his lip. "I know I am not being the best partner right now- or for the past few months, but I am trying."
As soon as uncertainty flushed your face, his hands tightened as his expression deepened into an emotion you never seen him explore before- dejection.
"I can't promise you I'm suddenly going to wake up and give you 110% every interaction we have," he began, his voice lowering as he tried to keep his emotions in check. "But I confess- I am being a little shit and I am willing to work on that. Just please- please don't push me away. Try to understand my situation."
He wasn't wrong, his life switched around once he accepted the role of Joel Miller and you should've known from the start he would face some difficulties. Maybe you were being too self-centered and invalidated his feeling too, not just him.
Sometimes he wasn't good with words when expressing himself and made you feel as if you weren't as popular as him, but you knew it was never his intention to hurt you like that. He had a heart and loved to use it.
Fighting over work should never be a reason to be miserable especially when it's how you both get your income.
"I-I understand," you lightly speak up, watching as his eyes light up by the sound of your now calm voice filling his ears. "I just want you to know that it didn't make me feel good-"
"Of course it wouldn't make you feel good, I was being horrible," Pedro intercepted, pulling you into a tight hug and landing his face in your neck. "And if I wasn't thousands of miles away I would totally spoil you with kisses and chocolates as my sorry."
"Chocolates are still in favor," you joke and feel him softly swat your bottom in disapproval.
Pulling away, he leans his face closer to yours and plants a sweet kiss upon your lips before backing up an inch and whispering softly, "I love you, you know that right?"
Smiling, you slowly nod and surprise him with a deeper kiss before answering him back with a familiar, "I love you, too."
"You better," he smirks, pulling his body on top of yours, hearing your light squeaks once your back hit the mattress and his lips snuck their way into the crook of your neck.
"Did you end up getting chocolates?" Andrew immediately questioned once you finished your long recollection of memories.
"That's not important," Florence rolled her eyes.
"I mean he did promise her it."
Chuckling at his curiosity, it amused you how focused he was about some candy. "Yes, he did- for like a month and then I got over them."
"Understandable," Andrew replied, looking down at his lap.
Florence jumped over him, making herself sit closer to you as he winced at her sudden movements. "Then what happened?! I mean, there had to be more right?"
"My god woman, I hope you're not working for TMZ," Andrew joked.
She shushed him before leaning closer to you, signaling you to continue on with your memories. "After that fight, things became pretty normal again. We would call each other with far more energy than before and he would even fly back home often to keep our communication strong."
"And how long did that last?"
Frowning, you took a small breath. "Like three months- then we started fighting more."
"Over?"
Rubbing your face, you groaned. "He went back to lacking energy! But that's not even the worst part."
"Please don't tell me he cheated," Andrew begged, covering his eyes with his hands while pulling a sorrow look. "I would never be able to look at him the same."
"I don't know if he did cheat- but I did find out two months before we ended things that he stayed the night at his exes."
Loudly gasping, the company you had began freaking out with their jaws dropping- literally. Florence angrily furrowed her brows, "you've got to be kidding? How is that allowed in a relationship?- It's not!"
Crossing your legs, you shrug as a way to answer her. You really did wonder what was going through his head when he did that. Sadly, you couldn't believe a word he said after you found out what he did.
Maybe that's why you were fine with ending things- because the trust was slowly disappearing.
"Not to mention he would always be with her and ditch plans with me," you form a tight smile, trying not to make things awkward but it was too late.
Who could possible hear this and not feel embarrassed for you? Classic move on his part to follow the 'being friends with my ex is okay' stereotype, but it only left you feeling unwanted and flawed.
Were you not good enough to be in his arms all those times he ditched you for her? And why couldn't he tell you what was really going on- unless he was truly hiding something unspeakable.
"Spill the beans."
Hearing a door slam, you jump up in a daze. You could feel sleep still linger on your body as you crank your neck to the side, capturing the bright '12:47 pm' located on top of your nightstand.
Slowly yanking your body up, you don't stretch as you hurry out of your room to the living room in search of the mysterious person who was either your missing boyfriend or an intruder.
Catching sight of his bright yellow t-shirt as he opens the refrigerator, you could feel your body boil up. "Where have you been? You snuck out last night without even telling me- do you even understand how worried I was?!"
Watching as he gradually turns his head to face yours, Pedro closes the fridge before leaning against the kitchen counter- completely relaxed despite your current state.
"I was out with friends," he declared, grinning to try and take pressure off from you- it didn't work. "I'm sorry, I will tell you next time. I didn't mean to worry you, my love."
Placing your hands on your hips, it pains you that you secretly don't believe a word he's saying. Normally, if this were the case, he would text you if you were sleeping or call you in the morning to inform you with what he'd done.
He did neither one.
Maybe you should test him? Ask him questions and see if he'll freeze up?
"And who were you with?"
He smiled, grabbing a cup from the pantry while easily answering, "Diego and Oscar- we had a couple of drinks and Oscar thought it would be best I stay the night."
Nodding swiftly, you examine him to see if there were any signs of him lying- there weren't. Fuck, you forgot he was an actor. It's literally his job to control his emotions! "And why didn't you call or at least send a simple text?"
After hearing your words, Pedro sends you a small smile before gently placing his cup down. Walking up to you, he opens his arms. "Baby, is that why you're so upset? Because I didn't call?"
Before you could answer, he engulfs you in his arms before swaying you both around. Feeling vibrations as he let out light giggles, you instantly dropped any suspicions you may have had because he had to tell the truth- he would never lie to you.
It's surreal how easily you could throw any convictions out the window when he touched you. It's like he jogged your memory.
"Well, why didn't you at least text?"
Removing his head from your neck, he squeezes you waist and sends you an amused smirk . "Because I was insanely drunk and if I would've used my phone it probably would have resulted in me leaving you hundreds of drunk voicemails confessing my love for you."
"And that's bad?"
He chuckled, shaking his head before pinching your side. "No, but it sure as hell is annoying."
Standing up straighter, you cautiously nod at his answer and watch as he lovingly smiled down at you. "Okay, I believe you."
"Did you really believe him?" Andrew asked.
"I call bullshit," Florence confidently declares, strong on her view that Pedro was not an honest person.
"Let me finish the story!"
Loud footsteps could be heard near your hallway as you stood behind the oven, trying your best to not burn these damn chocolate chip cookies.
Such a basic recipe yet so complex- it was truly aggravating.
"Y/n? Where are you?!" you heard you assistant squeal from a distance.
Trying to properly put your mitten on, you murmur a small "kitchen" before preparing yourself to open the oven. The amount of times you burned yourself thinking it was cool enough not to wear protection-
Point is- always wear protection.
Opening the oven door, you pull the tray of freshly baked cookies towards you as the footsteps became clearly audible. Right when the cookies were in your grip and being lifted, you heard your assistant yelp-
"Pedro was caught leaving his ex's house two days ago."
Throwing yourself up into a standing position, you forget about the tray of cookies until you feel the burning sensation upon your left arm. You accidentally pulled the tray too close to you. "Ow!"
Instantly panicking, your assistant rushes to your side in support and grabs a towel to fill with ice. Pressing downwards on the wound, you wince at the pressure that was building.
"What the hell are you talking about?" you still question, extremely curious to uncover what this situation was.
His ex? That's absurd, he hasn't dated anyone in years when you first met. It's definitely not like he was in contact with them when you made it official, he was always firm when it came with communicating with past relationships.
That was a big no-no, especially when one of your ex's tried reaching out after your last movie dropped. Pedro made it very clear how unhappy he was when he made an appearance at your premiere- your boyfriend not daring to leave your side and even blocking your view whenever your ex had the chance to gawk you up close.
At the time, people thought Pedro only attended because he was close with the director and has always been friendly with other actors. Little did they know he was being extra friendly with you behind the curtains.
"Someone snapped photos of him outside of her door! It looks like he just woke up, too." Grabbing the phone from her hands, you pull it closer to your face and watch what the screen uncovered.
There he was, your boyfriend of two-years smiling brightly as he steps outside her door in the clothes he wore the night before. The same ones he manipulated you with about being with Diego and Oscar that night.
Not just that, but peering on the side of the door was indeed his tall, beautiful ex who definitely aged like fine wine. Hell, she was gorgeous and everybody knew that.
And the fact that they broke up due to their long distance, at the time, did not help this situation. Now that they lived a few cities away, what now? Were you just a doormat he could walk all over and eventually throw away whenever he wanted something new?
Placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, you refuse to take your eyes off the screen as your assistant begins speaking. "Did you know he slept over?" Glancing up, she takes your downcast face as an answer and swiftly pulls you in a tight hug. "Oh no, I'm so sorry."
You were sorry for yourself, too. How could he lie right to your face so easily knowing he was doing it- intentionally. And the most fucked up part was he probably knew you would believe him- just like all the other times you did.
"I saw that picture!" Andrew exclaimed, bewildered at his recollection. "I thought the paparazzi caught him lacking after a hook-up- damn, I wish I would've known you were together sooner."
"Same, I would have unfollowed him," Florence added. "And nobody would've known it was because of you- since you two never been public."
Forcing a smile, you give her a tiny nudge on the arm. "Gee, thanks for being so considerate."
"Continue!"
"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before your flee.
Let's just say, things were pretty...eventful once you discovered his scheme.
For starters, after bawling your eyes out on your poor assistant's shoulder, she made her departure in order to clean up the spare bedroom she offered you to take if you weren't comfortable staying at your own place.
You accepted.
Once she was out the door, you fled to your bedroom and grabbed any suitcase close by and began stuffing it to the brim, not caring how disorganized it was professing as you reached for more clothes.
You were almost done packing your second bag full of makeup and bathroom necessities when you heard your front door open. Jumping up, you felt your eyes widen once you heard your name being chanted on by your boyfriend. "Y/n?!"
"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, drastically glancing around your now messy bathroom to make changes to your plan- only take things you really need.
Seconds pass and you find yourself zipping your bag and rushing out the door, that was until your body roughly collided with another- causing you to drop your belongings and land on the floor. Groaning, you hesitantly rise, immediately finding your boyfriend's body nearing yours as he pleads to help you off the ground.
"Baby, I'm sorry! I didn't see you coming out," he apologizes, using his fingertips to clasp your forearms to level you. "Look, I need to tell y-"
"Get off of me," you grit, forcibly slapping his palms off you, causing him to cease and stare stunned. He has never seen you once be this aggressive. Sure, you would reject his embrace whenever you two fought here and there, but slap? Not ever.
Brushing roughly past him, you gripped your larger suitcase by its handles and made a beam to the closest exit. You couldn't be around him, not when thoughts of him being unfaithful constantly drowned your head.
A strong tug of your makeup bag made you halt your movements, not by choice, as Pedro made sure to tighten his grip to prevent you from leaving. Glancing down at his now white, clenched hands, you glare. "Let go."
Shaking his head, he stared you down- irritated that you would just pack up and leave so quickly without even hearing his side of the story. Yes, he should have told you what really happened that night- but he knew how you'd react.
It was better to keep it sealed until he was ready to unveil- or so he thought.
"You let go," he hissed, raising one of his hands and smacking yours with it. You hate how much stronger he still was while only using one hand while you had two- fuck his strength and your poor muscles.
Groaning, you dig your feet onto the ground harder as you continue your tug-a-war charade with your selfish boyfriend who didn't seem to believe space was an understandable coping mechanism after he shattered your small heart.
"Fine," you yelp, shoulders falling slightly as he eases his grip- still holding on though. "We both let go on 3."
Tilting his head, he suddenly grew suspicious by your random middle ground. He knew you well enough to know you don't give up that easily, especially when he's fully sure, by your bolting efforts, you saw the picture. "How do I know you won't just run off after?"
"You're faster and stronger than me, you'll catch me eventually."
Internally agreeing, he knew you had a point. Even if you did escape, your little legs weren't going to get you far- he knows from all the times he tackled you down after you countlessly would steal his food.
"1," you begin, eyeing him to see if he would follow.
"2," he stared at you back, cautiously watching your every step.
Taking a deep breath, you count again. "3!" With that, you release your grip from your bag and watch as he still clutches on to the strap. "What the hell- we agreed on 3 we'd both let go!"
Nervously chuckling, he placed the bag on the ground and sheepishly smiled at you. He was glad to see you finally calming down. "Sorry, I didn't think you would actually do it."
Sending him an annoyed glance, he scratches the back of his neck for assuming you wouldn't follow your word. "Trust me, I always tell the truth."
Wincing at your cold tone, he frowns by your hard demeanor. "About that- I was going to tell you-"
Softly placing a hand over your head, you release a sound of discomfort and miss the way his eyes wander in curiosity.
"Can we talk about this after I take my supplements? I am not feeling too good," you cut him off, slowly touching your forehead as you watch his concern grow. "I forgot to take them this morning."
"You know you get bad migraines when you don't take them," he declared, sighing as he raised his hand and began softly rubbing your temple in ease.
He believed you were being serene because you weren't livid and allowed him to stop you from leaving- how wrong he was.
"I know but I had a crammed morning-"
"This is why we need to hire someone to walk Leia, we don't have enough time majority of the week!" he exhales, making you stare at the floor for the point taken. But there was no way you'd hire someone to walk your dog, that's ridiculous and a waste of money. "We'll talk after, let me grab them- stay here."
Sadly nodding, you allow him to flee towards your bathroom in search for your medicine. Peering you head a few inches to the side, you wait till the coast is clear before slowly, but firmly, grabbing your once lost bag and dashing out of your bedroom.
"I almost forgot about Leia," you muttered to yourself, instantly feeling bad at the thought of how quick you were to forget your baby. How terrible of a mother were you.
And what even was more mind blowing was how Pedro didn't catch your innocent acting. Truthfully, he must be trying to be extra helpful so you would believe him. Too late.
Finding your white corgi near the kitchen, you whistle lowly for her to follow as you peddled your way to your garage. "C'mon doggie, if daddy notices our escape plan he won't let us leave that easil-"
"Y/n?!"
Jaw dropping, you shoot a glance of panic to your dog, who only blankly stares back, before rushing to your parked car. "Just like Batman and Robin- now jump in," you hushed, opening the back seat so you could not only throw your bags back there- but also your tiny-legged corgi who struggles at first, but eventually makes it in.
Once you jumped into your seat and turned on the car, you catch a breathless Pedro rushing out through the door to your side. "Fuck."
"You tricked me!"
"You slept with another woman, asshole!" you yell back, glaring as he rolled his eyes- outraged by how unreasonable you were becoming. All he wanted to do was sit you down and have a normal conversation about this, but instead you kept running away.
Once again, he thinks you need to work on your communication skills.
"You used your failing health to your advantage- how sick are you?" he yelped, offended.
"They were gummy supplements!"
Touching your car door, he sternly peers at you as you quickly lock your doors in case he tried opening it. "I did not sleep with another woman," he started, inhaling strongly before releasing it. "Why would I do that when I am in a committed relationship? Huh? Do you think I am capable of cheating?"
Shrugging innocently, you pull a sarcastic face. "Not sure, I do know you're capable of lying- maybe infidelity is the cherry on top?"
Mouth gapping, he sends you a look of hurt and for a second you feel terrible by your choice of words. In your heart, you wanted to take it back- but your head thought otherwise.
"I would never be unfaithful to you- that's not who I am," he firmly states, feeling like absolute shit that you would even accuse him of being with another woman when you were all he thought about every single second of the day.
Dryly chuckling, you nod along to his words. He feels his heart ache, as if hundreds of knives jabbed through the delicate muscle by your painful mien. Did you really think that lowly of him?
"That's who you are to me now."
Once those words flew out of your mouth and he was able to process it clearly, he paused. Whole body turning stiff and cold, he scolded you profoundly before fiercefully charging towards your car door and pounding for entrance.
It was like a nerve was touched and he was not willing to be forgiving anymore. You struck him hard and he knew you meant it out of pure anger- not genuinely, but his awareness soon became replaced with treachery and he so badly wanted you to pay for your foul words.
"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before fleeing.
Mentally checking off your items before departure, you inhale sharply before lowering down your car's mirror and pressing your garage remote- allowing the door to gradually rise and Pedro to panic.
Cursing in his head, he couldn't let you drive away or else he might never see you for days and he couldn't bear the thought of you moping around in agony without at least hearing from him- the man in the picture- what actually happened that night.
Pressing on the lever and angling down to reverse, you nervously press on the gas and allow your car to drift back as your poor dog watched through the backseat his dad embarrassingly urging you to not go.
You prayed the neighbors couldn't hear a thing, if the cops came you're sure you would never go out in public for at least six months.
Realizing that it was now or never, you see from the corner of your eye a figure running towards the back of your car before a loud thump was heard.
Shakily, pressing on the brakes and putting your car on park, you jump out in horror by the sight of legs near your back tires.
You hit him.
"Shit!" you gasped, involuntarily sprinting- as if your body just knew how to react- and dropping down to your boyfriend's lifeless body-
"You ran him over?!" Andrew and Florence shrieked, interrupting your storytelling, causing you to glare and shush them.
"Shut the fuck up- it's getting to the interesting part!"
Hugging his body tightly, you could feel your face began to fall down and your body slowly begin to tremble. In a matter of seconds, you just knew your garage wasn't going to be a pretty sight to see.
Hitching your breath, you run your hands to your boyfriend's chest and shake him softly in hopes he would open his eyes- he didn't. With tears flushing down your face, you sniff as you grip onto him harder. "Please w-wake up," you begin, trying your best to keep your touch on him but you were a jittering mess. Not being able to stay still, you press your ear over his chest to see his he still had a pulse.
Sighing in relief, he did.
Squeezing his face, you frown as his expressionless face stills. Realizing he might have passed out over a concussion, your lips begin to tremble as you finally breakdown in tears and cradle him.
Leaning over from his side, you bend your body and embrace his head into your neck. "I am such a-a fucking idiot," you squeak, your eyes shutting as you don't have the power to keep them open. "I-I love you- I should've just stayed and t-talked-!"
Cutting yourself off, you ironically feel like the lifeless one despite your literal unconscious boyfriend being in your arms at the moment. Bitch, you really had the nerve. Swiftly kissing his cheek, you plunge yourself into his neck and cushion him with your body- being as fragile as ever when handling him.
Quivering in misery, you keep a strong grip onto him before you felt pressure along your side. "It's been minutes and you still haven't called 911? I could've been dead by now."
Screaming, you instantly drop the figure once on top of you and force your thighs to back up, causing you to sit perplexed on the concrete floor.
Glancing back up, you find your boyfriend brightly grinning your way, using his arms to hold his upper portion up as you looked back in confusion. Didn't you hit him?
"I was my own stunt double for some scenes," he speaks up, smiling to himself proud as you continued staying still, confused as to what had just happened. "As long as you have the right mentality- you can take a pounding."
Registering where he was going with this, you scoff and quickly allow your feet to hit the ground. Following after you, Pedro jumps at your unpleased sight and watches as you cooly open your back door to let your dog jump out before marching towards the door to your house.
"Wait? Are you mad at me for that, too?" He calls out, tilting his head in question and proceeds to get his answer by the slamming of the door behind you. "Never mind."
Angrily storming through your hallway, you accidentally run into the wooden desk placed against the wall. "Ugh!" you scream, turning around and giving it one hard kick before making your way towards your destination- the kitchen.
"What did the desk ever do to you?" Pedro mumbled to himself, stopping right by it once you were out of sight and fixing it back up against the wall, making sure the books settled on top were nested properly before going after you.
"So that's why one of the legs is chipped? I noticed that-"
"Shut up, Andrew."
"Sorry, go on."
Finding you near the blacked marbled kitchen bar, Pedro ceased his movements. To be honest, he was nervous to confront you. Not only did you find out he slept at his ex girlfriend's house, but he made you believe he was dead.
This was not going to end well.
"How could you do this to me?" He hears you ask, you back being in his peripheral view as you leaned your body over the counter, hands gripping the ends roughly.
"Do what?" he idiotically responds back, mentally slapping himself for having the audacity to question something he surely knows.
Slowly turning around, capturing his soft yet worried eyes, he catches onto your tear ones and breaks down on the inside. "Tell me the truth." you gulp, averting your eyes to your feet as you sense him bobble his head. "Did you sleep with her?"
Choking on air, he frantically shakes his head in dismay, not believing you would actually think that despite the past half an hour of him comprehending that you might so. Maybe he just couldn't believe it would ever come out of your mouth- but this whole situation made him nauseous.
Steadily finding his balance, he inched towards your frail body as you kept your contact with the floor strong, not daring to move it even when the sight of his shoes play in your mind. "Honey," he lowly calls out, lifting his fingers to your chin and hastily bringing your vision to his own. "No- I did not sleep or engage in any sexual nor romantic activity with her."
"Then why did you go to her house and not tell me?!" you cried, nudging his hand off your face, him immediately aiming towards your waist to still have you near. "Why would you do this to me? Why would you sleep over when you know how I would feel?"
"I can't tell you," he confesses, whispering softly. Feeling your face fall, you erupt into tears again as you lift up your palms to hide behind them.
Hiccuping, your hands twitch as they support your weight and force you to fall on top of the counter and continue watering your tears there. Everything was unfair and he couldn't seem to realize how bad your fights have progressed throughout the months.
"If you really care about me," you whimper, still behind your hands as he rubs circles on your waist. "You would consider my feelings and understand why I should know what you did with her."
Sighing, he releases you waist and rubs his forehead in frustration. Pedro wasn't the type to hide things in relationships. In fact, he was amazing when it came to expressing feelings and being honest while you were the same- but you typically took longer to reveal your troubles than he did.
But no matter how loyal he was to you, it wasn't his place to share someone else's business no matter who the association may be.
"I know, baby. I know- believe me," he whispers, pulling you in for a hug and lifting you off the counter as your sobs were felt among his chest. It broke his heart. "But I can't betray her, she needed me and trusted me to see her. I can't just deceive her."
"But you can do that to me?" you reply, catching him off guard as he shuts his eyes tightly by how accurate you were being. "It's okay, I understand."
"No," he shakes his head, groaning before staring you down. "You don't understand, hell- I don't understand this either. But what I need you to know is I did not kiss, flirt, wink, tease, or touch her in any sexual way. We did not have sex - there was no removing of any clothing-"
"Then why did you sleepover?!"
"She needed me," he simply replies, causing you to laugh ridiculy.
"I needed you and you left me," you spit out harshly, not believing how he could defend himself and think you would ever fine with it.
Grunting, he runs his hand over his hair before pouring all of his stress onto you. "What do you want me to do? I told you what happened- she needed me, I helped her, it took longer than expected so I fell asleep on the couch- do you want to touch my knotted back for proof? Because you can!"
"Why am I the one being yelled at?" you respond, watching his face fall in disappointment.
Staying in your position for a minute or two, you continued examining him as he did the same, not knowing where this was headed. That was until he motioned with his hand for you to move closer.
"Come here."
Furrowing your brows, you pause at his words. Did he think hugging was going to solve all of your problems- because it wasn't. "No-"
Feeling his arms glide up along your upper body and finally wrapping around your shoulders, he pressed you up against his chest into the warmest bear hug you might have engaged in.
It was...peaceful.
Sighing, he felt your body soften by the touch. Relaxing, you closed your eyes as he made it his mission to not ease up on his grip. "I didn't do anything with her," he whispers, laying his face comfortably on your shoulder. "I promise, I love you."
Sadly, his confession made you break down more as tears flooded your face and your body fell upon his grip. Easily wrapping his palms on the back of your head, he cradled you tightly and never left your sight once the rest of that day and week.
And that's how that fight ended- with you trusting his sweet nothings and letting him take over your body with his hugs and kisses because he somehow made you believe him.
Every single time.
You wish you could have moved on from that topic that night as you allowed him to show you how much he loved you, but unfortunately that wasn't an option.
Especially when paparazzi exploited more pictures with him and his ex the following weeks later.
"And what about your last fight? You know- the one that ended things," Andrew started, making you halt. "What happened then?"
Quickly standing up, you brushed your sweatpants down before sending him a tight smile. Now that you talked about sad memories you hadn't really thought of in months, you knew the mention of your last fight would only break you.
You weren't ready to undergoing the same pain you felt that night.
"I didn't know these talks about my past would take a toll on me, but they have. I don't want to talk about it, but I appreciate the two of you checking up on me- I really do, but I think its time for me to take a shower and maybe nap- it's been a tiring day."
Feeling your discomfort, Florence and Andrew exchanged a weary glance before looking back up to you, hesitantly nodding. Probably an intense memory, they were determined not to mention it again unless you came forward.
"Alright- but give us a call if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just plain old company!" Florence smiled, wrapping her arms around you for a quick hug before pulling back. "We can even have a sleepover."
"Count me out on that one," Andrew joked, bending down to give you the same hug. "But for real, you can cry on my shoulder any time."
"Thanks," you giggle, soon following them towards your front door as they say goodbye to your dog before departing in their own cars.
What an emotional day it has been.
-
"Do I really have to go? It's no use- I already seen the film. I don't want to rewatch it," you whine as your manager hushes you.
Walking down the side of the theatre, you clutch onto the oversized, black leather jacket you were wearing as your manager and assistant walked on either side of you, directing to to the entrance of a random theatre in the city.
Since the Oscars, nothing has really changed. It's been about three weeks now and there wasn't chaos anymore- it seemed like news about that night had already faded.
Regularly, you did chat with Florence, Shailene, and Andrew on the phone- individually at times throughout your past weeks- but nothing too crazy.
You all had your busy schedules and your manager was still being as hardworking as ever trying to exploit more of you to the press and on the screen. Safe to say, every time she had news it would always be something impressive.
Except for today, when she proudly announced after barging into your house during breakfast that there was a new film premiere you had to attend.
It's not like you opposed the idea- but you watched the film when the production team invited you to their private screening. It would be useless watching it again.
But as persistent as ever, your manager claimed there would be great press and directors attending the public's premiere, following with "an Oscar-nominated actress like you must make themself remembered."
As dramatic as always- but at least she was highly active in your career.
She did everything to make you get noticed, especially when you were at your lowest point mentally after your breakup.
Now onto past relationships, you hadn't heard any news regarding Pedro since you last saw him. Not that you wanted to, but for some reason he was still on your mind. Due to the fact you did sit with your friends ranting about your shared troubles, that's likely the reason.
But all jokes aside, you seriously can't stop thinking about him.
However, you were too scared to admit this to anyone. You tried telling Florence, but every time you mentioned his name she would immediately disregard him, pissed by how he treated you.
Which you loved that she had your back, but you needed someone else to have his own- oddly.
Maybe it was your head deep in thoughts that revealed how you were feeling, but your assistant seemed to notice that you weren't okay- mentally.
After checking in and finding a small crowd, you accepted that maybe most of the audience were in their seats already despite the film starting in almost an hour. Nudging you once your manager left to find one of the producers, you glanced at her as she motioned you to move towards the wall.
"What's up?"
She made a face, practically laughing at your question before continuing on. "Why don't you tell me 'what's up?' The whole ride here you've been silent and I know it's not because you were tired- you slept all afternoon, what's really up?"
Chuckling, you roll her eyes at how nosy she was being- but you knew she only wanted to help you. After working together for years, it was a ritual both of you performed: don't let the other be sad.
Surprisingly, it worked every time. She would hide you from people who upset you while you let her have more vacation days whenever she felt the same.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're thinking about him, huh."
Eyes widening, you shake your head quickly as she laughs at your poor attempt of denying her idea. But she knew right from the moment you got lost in your head that he was the one to blame.
"Don't worry, I won't tell," she whispered loudly, causing you to shove her as she laughed louder.
"Shut up, someone might hear you," you hiss, watching as she tried holding her breath to stop herself from cackling again. She just looked like a fish in need of water.
"Don't think about him then," she teased. "If it's making you lost in your thoughts! Wait- why is he in your head? I thought you hated him?"
Coughing, you shake your head. "I don't hate him- I could never."
"Never?" she raises a brow in shock. "I think we're seeing some progress here. You're falling back in loveeeee with him."
"No way," you scoffed as she grinned heavily. "I'm just thinking about the Oscars since that was the last work-related event I've been to since today and you know- he was there so he ended up in my mind...for a little."
She slowly nods, teasing a smug as makes it pretty clear she did not believe one word you said. Your assistant has seen everything, so she is quite familiar with your thoughts regarding Pedro.
She knows when your happily, sadly, angrily, and crazily daydreaming about him. In this case, she's stuck between happily and crazily- not seeming to find any hints of fury and sorrow through your expressions.
But definitely warmth and frustration- all due to him not being able to leave your head.
"When are you just going to admit you still love him?" She blurts out, causing you to snap your heard towards her. "Everybody sees it, you obviously have a soft spot for him if you let him be near you."
"Near me? He's never near me," you laugh. "And I never show signs I want him back, I don't. I made it clear for months now after perfectly avoiding him at all costs."
"Yeah, but he's still on your mind- that must mean something," she declares, causing your small grin to fall into a tight line.
That must mean something.
Did it?
Shaking that thought away, you reject her idea. "It means he traumatized me."
"It means you're in denial and scared to be with him again," she replied, placing her hands on her hips. "Look, I just know you two are meant to be. Next time you see him, talk to him. Tell him how much you care for him- even if you don't want to admit it in a lovey-dovey way. It can be friendly!"
Giving her a strange look, she lowers her energy quickly before looking around the room, making sure no one saw how enthuastic she became.
"You get the point!" she rolls her eyes. "Just be nice, maybe the both of you can form a friendship or just drift apart knowing there's no hard feelings."
"But there is hard feelings," you declared, pointing out the obvious.
There is a reason why you two broke up, like there is also a reason why you despise him. It all comes down to history and actions, which you've both experienced- which is why, again, you broke up.
"Just..." she started, thinking about it for a second before sending you a sincere glance. "-give it a shot. If you don't hate him, like you said, it wouldn't be terrible to be civil."
Slowly nodding, you understand where she's coming from. This tension between Pedro and you was getting old, and the fact it was only you adding fuel to the non-existent fire since you've broken up is sad.
Especially when all he's been around you was sweet and considerate of your feelings, leaving you alone when he felt your energy- except for that one night, but you have to admit that was your fault for riling him up.
The roughness of heels came marching your way, forcing the both of you to instantly lift your head- finding your manager striking a fake breaming grin with two men beside her. She was trying too hard.
"Girls! This is Greg and Shawn- the writers of the film!" she exclaimed, fluttering her lashes rapidly as both men awkwardly raised a hand, waving it.
Releasing a tiny chuckle, you do the same as your assistant walks closer, sticking out her hand to fully gain their attention and introduce herself.
What can you say- she was a charmer.
Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, your manager slightly pulls you closer to the strangers and strangely bobbles her head- preparing whatever gibberish was about to spit out of her talkative mouth.
"Y/n- the boys thought it would be a great idea to sit in the vip selection among other A-listers- isn't that just lovely? We are very grateful for your offer-"
Boys? Oh god- now she was bonding for her hopeful chances of getting a call for an audition.
Compelling a sweet smile, you feel the only possible response you could give them was a meaningless 'thank you so much' after she literally put you on blast to communicate more. The funniest part about this situation was- you already watched the film!
Clearly you never met these writers- but instead the director himself! Your manager should be satisfied enough with that.
"Would you look at the time,-" Greg- you believe, softly gasps while raising his arm to examine the tiny apple watch planted. "Guests are probably filling up in their seats by now, terribly sorry- but we should probably go."
"I hadn't realized how close we were to showtime- we certainly must continue off our conversation after the film is over!" Shawn proclaims, making your manager nod far too quickly. "I look forward to meeting again."
With that, the two men inclined their motions of farewells before taking off down a dimmed hall, likely finding the exact destination set to premiere their comedic film.
Sighing, you send daggers to your managers who barely blinks before coughing out a swift, "What?"
"You really couldn't wait till after the film was over to sweet talk them?"
Dramatically rolling her eyes at your annoyance, she waves you off by your sudden introversion. It was her job to throw her best compliments about you too them, and she knew you were still too young to understand that everything she did was for a cost.
You.
"C'mon grumpy, let's locate the theatre before you start whining that your feet hurt, too."
Feeling your mouth slightly drop from her remark, you hear your assistant cackle right beside you, using her right palm to hold in her giggles while you mentally prepared for what comeback to throw her way.
You got nothing.
Huffing, your legs followed hers as she guided the two of you towards the same hall the men approached minutes before. The closer you've walked, the larger the capacity gathered around.
For such a low-budget film, it sure did gain quite the crowd.
As the rolling of the ending credits flooded the screen once you sat the last two and a half hours trying to act as if you didn't know what was coming next, you wish you had it in you to say the second time made up for the first- but it didn't.
There we have it, tonight was just not your night and endlessly enough- you couldn't blame it on some silly excuse of watching the same film over again.
Not even your assistant's sneaky offerings of her red licorice lifted your blues- and that speaks enough volume to say the least.
"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" the whole-heartedly voice of your manager's voice filled your ears as the three of you sat in the same lobby as before, still not finding a way to escape a cold room.
Oh how you abominated the sharp hits of the air conditioning- it frankly made coming to the theaters a horror unless layers of clothing and a blanket was tagged along.
"Why can't we leave? The film is done and people are walking out."
"We still have to talk to Shawn and Greg!" your manager declared, presenting a look of pure determination to get her way with their levels of skill.
Groaning, you throw your head in absolute exhaustion. Fairly, if your manager hadn't had made such an early visit during the morning hours you're sure you would've been in a better mood.
It was like the more you interacted, the less energy you had to give.
In order to survive the next few hours, you needed your phone or who knows how your fake laughters will sound.
And you call yourself an actress.
Sliding your hand to the back of your pockets, you wait for the feel of your large iphone to surface- but that moment never comes. Swiftly, you check your leather jacket ones just in case you slipped it there without realizing.
You didn't.
Anxiously glancing towards your assistant, your trembling hands find her arm. "Have you seen my phone? It's not on me."
Examining your hands before meeting your eyes, she shrugs it off. "Relax, no need to have a nervous breakdown- I'm sure you left it in the car with your bag-"
"No, I had it on me during the previews."
"We did go to the bathroom, too- why not just go check those two places?" she suggests. Concerned filled you, hoping nobody was capable of actually stealing your phone- it would be such a hassle getting another one. "I'll check the bathroom, you check our seats."
Agreeing, the two of you sneakily escape your manager when her back was turned, unpleasantly speed walking down the familiar hall before parting ways to your needed locations.
Opening the thick, black doors and striding up the long runway, your eyes are met with the same darkened seating area you were in less than twenty minutes ago.
Then and there, you use this desertion in power- running towards the middle rows consider 'vip' and begin your inspection. Fuck, you wish your had some form of light to help- you couldn't see shit.
Sliding your fingers among the seat, you lift up the cushions in hopes it mysteriously pops up, but all you find is pieces of popcorn and gum glued down.
Gross.
Feeling your eyes begin to water, you were sure you were seconds away from crying like a little kid over the loss of your beloved possession before you heard a deep voice call out for your attention.
"Is this yours? I heard it ringing when I came back in and- uh," the person froze, not having the ability to finish off their sentence as you gradually lifted your body off the floor into their view.
Hopelessly praying the stranger was regarding your phone, your eyes search for their hands first and there it was- your phone!
The corners of your mouth lift up, as well as the creases around your eyes as you internally cheer for your discovery. However, it faltered once you noticed a familiar tattoo laying on one of their palms. Moving your eyes up, you're sure your smile completely disappears once you recognize those brown eyes.
How did you not catch onto his voice from down there?
"Uh- yeah- that's mine," you nervously reply, choking on your words that probably made you sound like you were about to lose consciousness by how strung you were, and hesitantly reach out for the device.
Pedro quietly lets you grab it, not saying one word as your hands collide for a split second before the object was back in your own. You didn't miss the name that appeared on the lit up screen when touched- your assistant must have tried calling you to see if the phone would ring in the bathroom.
Smart.
Avoiding awkward farewells, Pedro swiftly turns around and makes his way down the theatre stairs, not daring to continue on with the barely existing conversation you shared. He's leaving, that fast?
Thinking about all your past interactions, he would always try to chat with you- even when you did give him the coldest shoulder of all time- because that's who he was: kind.
But now he's...walking away?
"Hey- uhm," you begin, following clumsily after him, almost tripping on one of the steps as he reaches his final steps and doubtfully turns your way. Once you stood another step ahead of him, you feel that swirling feeling in your stomach again.
You were nervous- you've never felt this way around him during your breakup- never.
Adjusting your arms inside your jacket, a small smile is extracted out of you as you watch his stay flat. He did not look interested one bit and it frightened you to death. "Thanks for finding my phone- I-I was really scared there for a minute."
Not reacting to your little laugh at the end, he replied- dull. "I didn't know it was yours, I would have given it to guest services if so."
Ouch, you're sure you're hurt expression was recognizable on the outside as much as it pained you on the inside. He really did not want to talk to you, even when you're showing your appreciation.
He really was over you.
"I know," you squeak out, not missing the way his eyes tiredly scanned your own as his body stood there stiff as ever. "I just wanted to thank you, that's all- you saved me a lot of trouble."
Coldly laughing from that, he nods. "I'm sure I have."
Your body tingled with rage as he carelessly ignored your warmth and threw jabs in return. "What's with the attitude? I'm doing nothing wrong here- I'm trying to be friendly."
Inching up, his face presents a sullen one and you immediately feel intimated by the height he owned and used as his advantage. Just the first few seconds before he spoke alone made you feel his displeasure. "And what about all those times I was friendly? I received shit so forgive me for allowing you to experience the same treatment you give others."
Loss for words, you were speechless and didn't know what to say back. For one, you were alarmed by his hard demeanor he gifted to you. Second, humiliation soared throughout as he called out your imperfections.
In other words, he wanted you to know you were a bitch.
"And I take that back but-"
Pedro was about to burst out laughing in front of your face, but he held himself together in sake of your feelings. Can you believe that, despite the misery he still cared for your state of mind. "Taking back isn't apologizing."
Sneering, you cross your arms as his eyebrows furrowed in irritation. "Apologize for what? You were the one who fucked my life over."
Scoffing, he shakes his head in vexation by your lack of empathy- as always. "Countless of times we would contemplate our faults and how we could move on and now you're discounting your wrongdoings- typical."
Pedro did not want to have another unpleasant argument with you, especially in a public setting again, and decided it was best to just walk away. If he kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't make this altercation worse.
Meeting his broad back, you lightly gasp as he ignores you altogether and makes his leave far too early for your liking. Charging towards him, you feel his back solidify once your fingers yank him to a halt.
You were not done with this conversation, but you did know once you got home you were definitely going to regret how toxic you were radiating in the room.
"Typical? What do you mean by that?"
"Knock it off and let me walk away, y/n," Pedro warns, still facing his back towards you after blocking your attempts of moving him. "We both know how badly this will end."
You know, but for some reason you don't want him to leave. Was that so bad?
"No, I wanna hear exactly what you have to say about me- maybe it'll make me recognize the ignorant ego I have."
"You're talking out in anger, you're trying to cause a fire that I won't let you ignite," he simply replies, his eyes still not found by his hidden appearance.
Very poetic.
Scowling profoundly, you don't realize what you're doing until you're finally met with his provoked display after. Stalking around his body, you stand in front of him and jab a finger towards his chest. "You're preventing me from bettering myself, isn't that what you always wanted?"
Leaning down until his face with inches away from yours, you make out his hard features clearly now. His face expressed discomfort as his eyes creased while lifting- even his lips stayed hard as a rock. "I'm going to tell you one more time, let me go."
Ignoring his cold shoulder, he inhaled a sharp breath before taking matters into his own hands. You don't want to listen? Fine. But he wasn't going to let you drag him into this any further.
Right as you push another finger up against him, your wrist was taken and roughly pushed down by your side as Pedro's body practically belted against yours. "Get off me!"
"Not until you stop fucking around," he grunted, immediately widening his eyes in realization. He knows you don't like when he casually curses directly to you- even when he doesn't harm. "Sorry- I-I meant when you stop playing around."
Praying that a smile doesn't escape you, it made you feel some type of way capturing his manners and how even though you two were on rocky terms- he still had some respect for you.
"Why are we even fighting right now?" you sigh, slowly softening your muscles in forfeit.
"You tell me- it sounds like you want my attention," he casually replied, releasing your hands and stepping back an inch. "Considering you won't let me leave."
"I'm just trying to have a normal, polite conversation! Is that so wrong?"
Softly laughing, he shakes his head in disappointment. "You don't get it."
Scrunching your face, you become lost by his words. "Get what?"
Scanning the wall before meeting your eyes again, Pedro motions his hands between the two of you. "What do you think will come out of us having a conversation? Acquaintances? Maybe a friendship?"
Thinking about it for a second, you feel your head eventually nod as he squeezes his eyes shut in return. Was that not what he's been trying to do- end in good terms? "It's what's healthy for us."
"Us?!" Pedro groans, sending you a tired gaze that had you weak to the knees. "There is no 'us' anymore. You made that perfectly clear after causing a scene last month in front of your friends."
"I didn't plan on that happening a-"
"I'm even letting go the bigger scene you caused inside the after party- isn't that enough to understand why I feel this way?" he adds on, frustrated that you would think otherwise.
You were the one who caused the attention and brought a bad look on his name. He should be shouting at you like you would have done to him if the roles were reversed.
"I'm not saying we should get back together, all I want-"
"-is a friendship? Some sort of relation that won't make us strangers?" he interjects, causing you to stay silent. That was all he needed to understand what you really wanted: not to let him go. "Look, we had our history, but I don't think it's good we keep in contact anymore."
You swear you felt all air leave your body as your face felt cold. Was he breaking up with you- in life itself?
"I-uhm don't- I don't understand," you cough, scared to make a bigger fool out of yourself. You're sure you probably look like a ghost by how much color you've lost since his recent reveal and again- you were grateful this room was dim. "Why can't we at least be friends? Not even that- why can't we at least know we have each other in our lives? Why end up as strangers?"
"What do you mean? We hadn't talked to each other in almost a year till last month! We basically are strangers," he exclaimed, causing you to look down at your feet as your heart ached.
He wasn't wrong- you just hadn't realized he's been right. And to blame was you, not him. You pushed him away in the first place, he was only kind enough to oblige.
And it was surely pathetic how now you wanted him back in your life, even if it meant not even talking just to assure yourself he still had your back.
He didn't.
"Y/n..." he sadly muttered, trying his best not to hurt your feelings as you were still continued to stay downwards- not wanting to disclose more hurt. "You didn't even say happy birthday to me, how can you be considered a friend? Friends don't do that, not to me at least."
This caused you to glance back up to him, disagreeing immediately as to what he was trying to get at. Of course you knew it was his birthday, you celebrated two with him in the past! "I didn't want to make things weird-"
"You never do but still avoid me like the plague and breakdown whenever I'm too close to your liking. I'm sorry for trying to do what's best and leave us in the past,-" he explains, closing his eyes in discomfort, "-but I can't keep letting this go on. I'm too old to be going back and forth as if this is some high school relationship- it's not."
High school relationship- you never knew simple three words could have you shrinking in guilt.
"And I know things will be easier for you when the time comes- I won't be around to nag you," Pedro tries to lighten up the mood but you can't break the line upon your lips. You were emotionless and it made Pedro upset.
Why would he be upset? You finally deserved learning your lesson after treating him as if he was nothing to you. But despite all your flaws, he still cared for you.
He cares so much that he's willing to let you go so you can do better things in life- without him.
Trying to find the right words to say, you give up. There isn't much to discuss now that he wants nothing to do with you.
You fucked up- for real this time.
In fact, you shouldn't even be hurt- you wanted this. Or at least that's what you thought before last month when he wasn't on your mind 24/7.
Maybe it was the way he begged for your forgiveness after not seeing each other for so long that made you realize how badly you adored him nearby.
Maybe it was the attention he was giving you after you continuously rejected his pleads, furthering the argument until he stormed off in the end.
And maybe you should've took his concluding estrangement announcement seriously before he left you last month.
But just like they say, you never know what you have until it's gone.
"I see," you quietly respond, slowly nodding as a faint grin forms among Pedro's lips, appreciating your cooperation over this mess. "Maybe it is best if we stray away from each other- you can even delete my number."
"I already have," he accidentally blurts out, not realizing how bad that sounds until he hears it himself and cringes. Your sufferable reaction didn't make things better.
"You know what," you fake a laugh, trying to calm your voice as you feel it about to crack any second. The tears were heading your way- you just knew it. "Fuck you."
Pedro's face falls, taken back by your inappropriate language. "Excuse me?"
Noticing your rushed attitude, he wanted to stop you and tell you everything was alright. That everything was going to be easy and how the two of you would get passed this.
But he knew he'd be lying.
"You heard me, fuck you," you casually slip out, scoffing as his eyes darken. "For someone who's so kind to others, I would have thought you would know what words were right to say."
"You're one to talk, sweetheart," he chuckled, staring at you in repulse. "Every time you talk you always have to neglect someone else, I'm fucking glad I don't have to witness that ever again."
"Me too, my family was right- you are a joke who wasted my time."
With that, you make your leave to have the chance of having the last word. Maybe if you left this room faster he would forget about your comment. You knew it was harsh but you didn't know what else to say.
You wanted him to hurt- but to what extent?
Your arm was instantly tugged as Pedro pulled you back, not letting his grip go as his face was still filled with resentment. "And your team was right, you are a bitch."
Freezing, you stare at him in shock as his face doesn't fall once. What the hell is he talking about? "Get away from me or else-"
"Or else what? Weren't you the one physically blocking me from leaving minutes ago? What has changed?" he tries to smirk, manipulating you into believing how ruthless he could be when really he was dying to tell you the act he was pulling. "Cat got your tongue?"
Your face felt hot with rage as you yanked your arm off his hand, catching him by surprise as you glared at him. "I'm so glad I never took you back, you're fucking pathetic."
"And I'm insanely glad you didn’t, saved thousands returning that fucking ring."
Those twelve words made you halt and even made Pedro speechless. By the staggered look planted on his face, you could tell he didn't mean to say that.
Ring? As in, an engagement ring?
Weakly failing to stand straight, you felt your voice crack. "You were going to propose?"
Shaking his head, he swiftly backed away. "I need to go." Before you could stop him, he was already out of the theatre and probably near larger gatherings of people that would only prevent you from talking about this more.
Holding your face with your hands, you couldn't even cry. You didn't know what to do, you were utterly lost for words.
If he was really going to propose like he hinted at, what meaning did your last fight have? Nothing made sense and you don't know how you could move on from this now that he wanted you out of his life completely.
Hearing doors open, you instantly averted your gaze in hopes he had come back in and planned to properly finish what he started.
Instead, you manager came barging in while gripping onto your assistant's wrist harshly.
"Where the hell have you been?! I've been looking for you everywhere and to find out your stupid assistant-"
"Don't you dare disrespect her," you sternly cut her off, watching as her face falters by your sudden tone. "If you're here to pester us some more, feel free to walk home."
Laughing in shock, your manager tilts her head at your rudeness. "Excuse me? It wasn't my fault your assistant wondered off. After everything I have done to protect you and your career you feel the need to throw me out-"
"Did she hurt you?" you cut her off, focusing on your assistant who has gone quiet. You notice the redness on her small wrists before she slowly nods, looking down in fear your manager would try something else.
"You're fired," you simply state, pushing past your frantic ex- manager as you lightly guide your assistant out the door.
You ignore the rage your ex- manager unveils as you make it back to the lobby. Ignoring the waves random people sent your way in hopes of finding your destined car sooner so you could help your assistant with her injuries and be home already.
And in bed to think about what the fuck just happened tonight.
+
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YOU CAN(T) ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT
pairing: dieter bravo x you, dieter bravo x ex-actress!reader rating: explicit (oral sex (female receiving), fingering, pinv, unprotected sex, light dirty talk (not degrading), references to previous sexual encounters, mentions of rough sex) tags: angst, hurt/comfort, talk of drugs (weed), drug usage (weed), dieter & reader are a little toxic - i cannot lie, talk of parents word count: 4.8k+ summary: your relationship with dieter (albeit the very loose definition of the term) has finally landed you in the tabloids. he attempts to make it up to you a/n: unbeta’d. i don’t know what possess me when i write dieter but its very real and active right now lol. if you want to get updates on whenever i write, follow @belovedinfidels
The weight of knowledge wears you thin.
Dieter is a tabloid on page six, the embodiment of Hollywood idiocy sided up against a woman far too young for him. Half his age? the byline reads and the bitter laugh you let out earns you a concerned glance from the old lady in front of you. In his madness, he takes you with him, right there in the middle of the grocery store. You pay eight dollars to read the shit all week, like the spurred lover you can’t claim to be.
Your devotion is too incredible, but that’s the way you are. A strange concoction of bitter and sweet. You’ve never forgotten a wrong-doing and you choke what you love with sheer force of your eagerness. Dieter doesn’t know what he wants and yet he commits himself anyway. Which is why, usually, he is good for you. His touches are seldom chaste and his presence is hardly long-term. If you think you love him, he will disappear and you will remember that you don’t–or rather, that you can’t. It’s a convenience until he makes you remember you aren’t the only thing he occupies himself with in his spare time. Then it is a dull ache in your soul and a reminder of everything you don’t have.
In anger, you fuck a stranger on Tuesday. It’s a reckless moment that is the exception, not the rule, but it feels good. Your body isn’t past expiration, you learn, not an ugly thing. It is older than the girl Dieter was with in that paper, sure, but this stranger is so attentive to it. It responds in all the right ways. You are healthy, you are wanted. There is hope for you yet.
On Thursday, half guilty for no good reason, you tell Dieter congratulations on his new television show. You watched it. You liked it. You can’t help but confess it. He calls you after and you don’t answer, still full of some random man’s want. He doesn’t text you back but he hearts the message to show you he’s really seen it.
By Friday night, he’s got you bent over his kitchen table, his body strong, masculine and warm above your own. Whoever that girl was, she isn’t anymore. He doesn’t tell you this, but you know it to be true, for he is Dieter, and Dieter is consistent in his inconsistency.
He fucks into you with ferocity and you know he is trying to amend for some of his sins. The slick, obscene sound of his cock filling you, the way he presses into your shoulder, pinning you forward into the cold, hard table, the soft, guttural moans that he empties into the air—it is a form of devotion, albeit a slightly demented version of it.
It might be a little twisted, what the two of you share. It’s not love and it’s not necessarily friendship, but it is something akin to the ritual of opening one’s palm and sharing blood with another in a fit of childlike devotion. Forever, it yells with violence, but at the end of the day it merely remains a mess only on the surface. You wonder when you will grow out of it and start doing reasonable things.
When he easies out of you, he rewards you for your loyalty and asks if you’d like to watch an old movie – maybe even get high with him. The movie is an old western and the gunslinger dies in the end. The weed makes you tired.
When you wake the next morning, LA sunlight peeking through the blinds, you’re in his bed. His body is turned in the other direction and a lone pillow separates the space between you. You smile at the way this thoughtless man thinks. All your anger dissipates and he is right for you, all over again. —
On Sunday, you’re the tabloid story.
Finally, you’ve been caught in the act. A sneaky camera in the bushes, that lone photographer with a hungry belly and nothing better to do than explode your life. Half of twitter regals you with hate messages and the other half spouts encouragement. People discover you, search the depths of your online existence and find out more than you would like about everything you used to be.
By Monday morning he’s calling you.
“I’m sorry,” comes his hushed, apologetic tone, “I tried to do something about it but you know how those things are.”
You can’t believe this is the first time you’ve ever been caught. Dieter has been your… your whatever since you stretched your acting muscles briefly in 2012. It was that shitty little pilot that didn’t even make it to cable, but you got him, that up and coming actor with an extensive background in theater. You’ve become several different people since then, changing occupations like clothes, and now you sit halfway between writer and unemployed. It’s okay, though. You have money. Once upon a time you were famous too; a child actor who worked too much and didn’t understand what was real and what wasn’t for far too long. Your mother was kind enough not to exhaust your funds. You think instinctively she knew someday you would be this way.
You shrug, coming to. “It’s okay,” you mutter, trying not to think of all the mean things you’ve read. “Hell,” you joke, “Maybe they’ll finally do that revival now. I’m famous again, so why not?”
He laughs too, so easy. “I’m glad you’re taking this okay. I thought you’d never talk to me again.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know but still. It’s shitty and you don’t deserve shitty. One day you’ll wise up to it.”
Betrayal curls up inside of you, makes a newfound home. All the unspoken things between you, and he must bring up this today: the way you do this to yourself. “Not all of us can readily admit to the things we know, can we?” you say evenly. “Listen, Bravo, I’ve got to go respond to some of your fans on twitter now, if you don’t mind. They’re asking for your dick pics.”
You hear his laugh. “Oh, knock yourself out. What’s mine is yours or whatever.”
“I don’t feel similarly, just in case you get the same kind of messages this week.” He doesn’t respond, and you furrow your eyebrows, letting your smile drop. “Dieter?”
“I know what they’re saying—“ he pauses, weighing out his words. “I know they’re not all being kind to you. I’ve seen it, and I’m sorry. Really. If I could do something about it, I would. I’ve been trying,” he repeats, sounding far too exasperated for your liking.
You pick the phone off the counter and turn it off the speaker. No one lives here but you, but some things don’t feel like they should be put out in the open air. “It’s just a photo,” you tell him evenly. “I’ve been in this business longer than you. I know how to handle this.”
“I just don’t want you to think you shouldn’t see me anymore. We can be more careful.”
“Where are you?”
“Wherever you’d like me to be.”
You snort. “God, nowhere near me with a line like that.”
“Oh sorry. I forgot you’re not into that sentimentality bullshit.”
You smile, liking the way his voice has turned from sober to playful in a matter of seconds. “Here I’ve been, thinking you’ve got my number. If you don’t know by now what gets me going—”
“—a good fuck, a single cigarette on a bad day or a drunken night, and most photos of Fiona Apple.”
“Well done, Bravo.”
“Can I come over?”
“Sure, but you better make a couple of wrong left turns on the way here for safe measures. Hate for you to get caught with the same woman twice in one week.”
“Oh ha, ha,” he says deadpan. “Unlock your door. I’m outside already.”
—
The public expects you to break. They always have. As you hand Dieter the badly rolled joint, you think about how pleased they’d be to know this is how you spend your time. The little girl wonder grew up just as fucked as they expected, from pigtails to ill suited relationships and drugs during the week. That’s how they’d see it, anyway. You think it’s a little more nuanced than that, but the public hasn’t ever been particularly good at leaving room for it in their judgments.
Dieter sits on the ground between your thighs, his back to your stomach. Your fingers weave their way through his thick, slightly curly hair, catching every now and then on a stray knot. “Fuck,” he mutters when you land on a clump near his ear. You grin, coltish. “Let me cut it,” you tell him.
“I have a girl,” he says as an answer.
You wrap yourself around him, your face on his back. “Always do,” you tease, humming softly.
He covers your arms, allowing you to envelope him. “I’m getting the vibe that you’ve grown a tad bit possessive of me.” You scoff, loosening your grip. He clinches down, trapping you. “I’m like that with you, too,” he adds.
You hear the confession racket through his body, your ear pressing to some part of his rib, and yet you are the one who feels transparent. “That’s fucked up,” you answer simply, unable to find the right words in this state. He’s always too coherent for you when you smoke weed together. It’s better when you just fuck; it’s a language you communicate best in, even when perfectly sober.
“It is fucked up,” he says, setting the joint down on the ashtray. He blows out a cloud of smoke and runs his thumb affectionately over one of your forearms. “And I think in a fucked up way, you enjoy it. I do. I don’t know why — probably something therapy could sort out.” He laughs, though it sounds a bit hollow. “I mean, it makes me miserable. I know when you’re with someone else. I can just feel it. It’s in the way you text me—or the way you don’t text me, actually. You grow so distant and I think ‘This is it. She’s a smart girl, and you’ve done it this time.’ And then, like with Friday, you come back and you let me have my way with you and it’s awful and it’s nasty and yet…” He clicks his tongue, hesitating. “It’s great. I want you so bad I’m…I don’t know. Overcome with it. All the misery leaves my body and it’s just me and you, and it doesn’t feel nasty or degrading, does it? I don’t mean for it to. I just…It feels like I’m on the edge of the rest of my life when I’m with you like that. I want to tear you apart and I want you to tear me apart and then I want to put us together again, just to show you it can be done. And it’s always done, isn’t it? I leave you feeling whole again, like I’ve just righted this terrible wrong.”
“Dieter,” you manage, voice heavy. “You’re a secret romantic.”
“That’s the most fucked up part about it,” he says poignantly. “I think a lot of screwed up people do a lot of the screwed up shit they do in pursuit of love, and yet they can never quite allow themselves to have it. I’d love to stay put but it makes me itch. I don’t know why.”
“Were you parents fucked up?” You lean back. He lets you this time, but he moves back with you, laying his head on your chest.
“Sure,” he responds. “They fought all the time, but most people did back then. I knew they loved each other, though. They liked to dance and they always used to have these lively conversations about everything. They were serious people, to the point that it was almost unserious.
“My mother, she was educated and my father loved to read and watch movies and talk, and I think she fell in love with him because of it, despite the fact he came from a more…less wealthy background than she did. They begged her, her family, to get a prenup but she never even married him, you know? They didn’t care. They just lived together and they were perfectly content with it.”
You stare up at the ceiling, listening. “Why do you say it like it’s over? What happened?”
“I am?” he asks. “I guess I’m talking in past tense, ‘cause that’s where I existed with them, in the past. I don’t speak to them much anymore, not because I don’t want to, but just because life got busy. They’re still together. Probably fighting or having a conversation about something trivial and unimportant right now.” He smiles, filled with fondness and nostalgia. “What were your parents like?”
“I don’t know. I’ve tried to remember, and I’ve tried to piece it together from what I have, but I can’t. I don’t think I ever could.” You close your eyes. “They love me immensely and they love each other immensely, but things happen. Good and bad things. I’m just their kid.” You shrug. “I feel like a terrible person a lot of the time because of it. Like, what did my mother want from life? Surely it wasn’t me. This. She must’ve wanted something and I’ll never know it.”
“Did she want to be an actress?” he asks curiously.
“No,” you say softly. “She wasn’t the projecting type. I wanted to be an actress. I loved it. She just put me in the theater to keep me busy during the summer and I took off. She encouraged me. She was and is the encouraging type.”
“And your dad?”
“He’s…well he’s there when he’s there and isn’t when he isn’t. I love him and I wonder about him and I feel like I know him more than myself. But I also feel like he’s a perfect stranger.”
“Hm,” Dieter surmises.
“I don’t have daddy issues,” you add. This makes him laugh and you feel it vibrate through you too. It’s so comforting, warm.
“I wouldn’t tell you that,” he says.
“I didn’t even want you to think about it. It's a cheap analysis that men have been pining on women for years. I’d sooner admit to fucking up myself. I mean, I’m sure he didn’t help me any but he didn’t do all the work. I’ve had directors more involved.” You crunch up your nose, remembering. “One of them hated me because of my mom. He had a crush on her and she wouldn’t go with him. I think he’s the reason I have a problem with authority.”
He breathes out through his nose and slaps his hand softly against your thigh, laughing. “For what it’s worth, I do not think you’re terribly fucked up. Just a normal amount, no worse than the best of the most successful. Hell,” he continues, “Maybe even a little better than them.”
You sink back into the sofa, feeling the room move beneath your eyelids. “Dieter, I’m so high,” you whine.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?”
“I can’t talk anymore,” you say. “My brain wants me to say things I shouldn’t.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “Like what?”
You groan. “Sentences I’ve already said, just worded differently.” The sincerity of your words makes him laugh — so heartily you squeeze his forearm in appreciation. It touches you everywhere, with your chest against his back like this.
“It’s okay,” he tells you, “Just close your eyes and I’ll keep talking.”
“Mm,” you acknowledge him.
But he doesn’t keep talking. The two of you fall asleep right there in your quiet contentment. You enjoy the peace that comes from soul purging confessions.
—
Tuesday afternoon and he’s still with you. It’s a record, almost. If there hadn’t been that five night stint you had pulled together during one particularly lonely holiday weekend two years ago, this would be the longest you’ve ever seen him. It’s certainly the longest you’ve been together and not had sex.
The pungent, sour-sweet smell of marijuana invades your home, clings to your clothes, and makes you feel like the love-sick, abandoned teenager you were at 17. It’s been a long, long time since then, but there’s a quality about Dieter that puts you back there. Tempting as it is to blame on his perpetual immaturity, you know it’s more to do with your own lack of control. The world spins and you spin with it—a fact that you’ve still yet to gulp down bravely and accept—and Dieter merely reminds you of it.
He thumbs through your record collection while you sip gingerly at a Coke on the couch. Under his breath, he whispers the title of albums that have made up your life, ignorant to just how intimate the act really is. Dieter sees a plethora of intricately organized vinyls and you see half your life; it is a collection made up of poor decisions, lovers’ gifts, and tokens of another life. He plucks out a Rolling Stones album and puts it on the spin table.
Domesticity threatens to choke you for a second before Dieter looks in your direction, sloppy grin on his face. “Let It Bleed,” he says, heading in your direction. “It has You Can’t Always Get What You Want at the end. I think it’s better this way, too, because you have to work for it.”
“What do you mean?”
He takes the Coke out of your hands and steals a sip, voice plugged with passion as he says, “Nowadays you can just listen to a song whenever you want but used to, you had to sit through the whole album. We’re losing the art of the music album because people don’t do that anymore.”
You take your Coke back and shake your head. “That’s not true. After David Bowie died, vinyls became popular again. Albums are very much still in.”
“So maybe they are.” He shrugs. “Regardless, I think they’re better this way. Don’t you?”
“Sometimes. But sometimes I just want to listen to one song.”
He lays his head on the back of the couch, pouting out his bottom lip in consideration. “You’re angry with me,” he surmises after a moment.
You frown. “No.”
“You’re something with me, and it’s certainly not pleased.”
“I was just saying my opinion.”
“You want me to leave?”
“No.”
“I can’t quite reach you in there—“ he points to your head “—so if you want me to do something, or say something, you’ve got to tell me.”
“I don’t want anything from you,” you tell him evenly. He narrows his eyes suspiciously. “I don’t,” you repeat, trying to soften out your features. “I’m feeling…I don’t know. Awkward. You don’t stick around this long and I guess it’s making me feel odd. Especially because you haven’t touched me.”
“Ah,” he says, straightening himself. “I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”
“Have I ever denied you?”
“No, but I figured you might like to know I don’t mind seeing you with your clothes on too.” He offers you a kind smile and his fingers reach out and intertwine loosely with a few of yours. This is completely uncharted territory that makes your heart beat ferociously against your chest.
You tug him closer and he comes, his body leaning into yours as your lips meet. The shirt he wears is slightly too big on him, and the fabric brushes against your stomach as you open your legs to make room for him. His fingers press into your hips, positioning you beneath him, and you open your lips slightly, permitting him access.
For lack of a better word, you think: Homecoming. But it isn’t. This isn’t home. This is Dieter Bravo, page six, Mr. Half His Age. You smile against his lips and he pulls back. “What?” he says, smiling too. You feel his breath on your face, warm, and you lean up to press your lips to his again. “Nothing,” you tell him, knowing the joke won’t be funny.
He doesn’t seem to mind, allowing himself to be swayed away by the suggestive rock of your hips. He leverages himself with a hand on the back of the couch, and you pull him down, further and further, latching your legs around his waist. He is warm, burning, and as you deepen the kiss, you can feel the way he grows hard above you.
“Fuck,” he mutters, nodding his head up, disconnecting the two of you. Your lips feel rubbed raw, bruised, but you want more. He grunts softly when you press yourself into his cock and you look at each other for one dizzying second. Then he is kissing the underside of your jaw, his large hand palming your covered breast.
You try desperately to figure out how to shed the layers of clothing that separate you but he is quicker on his feet, pushing the college shirt you wear up above your stomach. He puts it behind your head, pinning your arms up. You watch as he licks down your chest, warm tongue flattening between the valley of your breasts. Then his breath ghosts over the nipples he exposes, his long, thick fingers pulling down the fabric of your bra quickly, desperate, hungry. He takes one in his mouth and you squeal.
Dieter isn’t usually patient. He fucks for leisure but never really revels in it for too long, so it surprises you when he licks down the rest of your body, swirling his tongue above the place where the band of your sleep shorts begins. You raise your hips for him and he sheds another layer, but again, just barely. Leaving you in your underwear, he worships you on the way back up, kissing your ankle, your calf, the inside of your thigh, even the place where your thigh meets your cunt. His fingers dig, eager to find skin full enough to grip; breasts and thighs, your hips, your ass when you respond to the hot breath that cascades over your cotton covered cunt.
He presses his hot mouth to you, underwear still in the way, and that’s it, you're ablaze and you are starved, crammed full of lust with an appetite that knows no bounds. You want to bare yourself to him—to spread yourself wide right there, and let him into the wetness of your cunt while you whisper dirty things into his ear. His words from yesterday echo in your mind — I want to tear you apart and I want you to tear me apart and then I want to put us together again, just to show you it can be done — and you think God, that’s it. The pulse point, the center, the raw and unbridled truth. You tear one another apart and it is tender, trusting. You’ve been getting him wrong. Over a decade and yet you’ve miscalculated it all.
He slips aside the fabric of your underwear, licks you, finds you wet and wanting. You are dripping. You feel it, know that his eager tongue is only adding to what his mere presence has caused.
That other man, he was lovely, young, flexible, all calloused hands and the taste of reckless mystery you thought you needed, but Dieter is ritual to you, like waves slapping against the rocks or the slow, inevitable spin of the planet around the sun. It happens and yet the sheer ferocity of the change it brings leaves you shocked. He is the taste of half smoked tobacco, the sweetness of a stolen sip of Coke, the warmth of an almost-orgasm rushing to your head.
His lips are coated with your slick, glossy beneath the warm living room light, but he doesn’t seem to care. He bites down on his bottom lip, pressing the pad of his finger to your entrance. Watching with heavy lidded eyes, he finds it in himself to smirk.
“Dieter,” you pant out, not taking your eyes away.
“You want it?” he growls, voice low and lust-filled. “Beg.”
You don’t hesitate. “Please. Fuck Dieter. Please.”
He sinks it in and the sound of your cunt welcoming him makes you both groan. It’s so deliciously obscene, the entirety of it. Your brain sputters, confused and overwrought, and you think: oh, I would never deny you anything. Never. Never.
His finger curls inside of you and his thumb presses down on your clit, focused and determined, the evidence found in the way his forehead crinkles. You note, even in this state, the way the front of his sweatpants tent and a dark spot where he’s leaked forms. He’s not wearing underwear and his finger is in you, above you, on you. You are warm, a beautiful burning thing around his thick finger. He enters another, says, “Fuck, you are so wet. Look at you.”
You shudder beneath him, a wordless moan escaping as you grip his tattooed wrist. The orgasm wracks through you, leaving you panting, pulling at his hand. So fitting - so ironic - that this is where he would mark himself with the symbol for femininity. Mother nature. That hollow triangle, pointed in the direction of you, sister to the darkened one pointing at him on the other forearm. That one means sun, masculine. They are earthly and complex, harmonic and just right.
Dieter puts his fingers flat on your tongue and you suck your own juices off of him, acidic - sour-sweet. He watches for a moment before he replaces them with his own tongue. There’s more of you there. As you work his sweats below his hips, dragging the fabric across his sensitive cock, he groans deep and you drink it up, hungry for more.
When he pushes into you, he does so with such ease, your body allowing him to sink into you like you’re his home, the missing half. It’s too romantic of a notion for you to carry in real life but somehow, like this, it fits. You crave the truth of it. As he rolls his hips into yours, deep as he can, you pull his shirt over his head and cover his lazy, soft lips with your own. You breathe each other in more than you kiss, bottom lips connected, top lips flirting, and tongues meeting each other as he seats himself fully inside of you.
Dieter is thick, makes you feel full in a decidedly feminine way as grinds himself against you. You clench around him, fingers thrusting into the skin of his back. He nuzzles into your neck, presses wet kisses to the sensitive skin.
You bury your hands in his sexed-up hair, let your body wrap entirely around his frame as he finds a rhythm inside of you. A soft flow of up and down, in and out, lacking ferocity but conveying a desperate need. He drags his cock through you, pierces you with it, and you take it gratefully, eyes shut and senses flooded. When nibble on his ear, you taste the metallic of his lone earring and his breath grows more ragged. “You feel so fucking good,” you whimper, voice high, “I feel you—I feel you everywhere. God your cock—you make me so fucking wet.”
You kiss him fully on the mouth again. Everything feels taut, moments away from being over, and you cling to him, wrapping your arms around his neck, your legs around his waist. You are one, a complete thing. Then he is pulling you apart before you know it, the twitch of his cock happening precariously inside of you. But he knows himself, well enough to pull out just in time, spilling his warm seed across the canvas of your exposed belly. A wordless sob escapes him and you reach out to hold the forearm he’s moved to the back of the couch again.
This is when it ends, the place where the two of you separate, go your own ways. He will hand you a tissue, wrestle out a pathetic ‘thank you’ or ‘see you later’ and the illusion will be broken–
“Do you mind if I spend another night with you?” he says, chest rising and falling. He sits back on his knees, looking at the milky white substance on you with a mixture of curiosity and fascination. He fingers it and you take it, bringing it to your lips. Dieter offers a lopsided grin, that dimple of his showing again.
“What’s mine is yours or whatever,” you echo his previous words, smiling too.
“That means a lot,” he says.
“More than you know,” you agree, “So don’t fuck it up.”
He presses his lips to your knee, the silence deafening, but you trust him despite it. This is different. He is different. He has to be. Please, you plead silently, running your hands through his hair again, Don’t ruin this for me.
He catches your eyes, smiles softly. “I won’t.”
#dieter bravo x you#dieter bravo#dieter bravo x reader#the bubble#the bubble fanfic#pedro pascal fanfic
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Please tell me you’re not a gaiman fan because it seems like you have issues with him and goddd me too
Okay this is a complicated question to answer and has got both more and less so in the last couple of weeks. Since there's still information coming out about the sexual assault allegations, I don't want to say too much now and then have to backtrack hugely, but even the very best case scenario makes his behaviour scummy as all hell. And I don't believe it will turn out to have been the best case scenario. So we'll just bundle the whole thing up with "yikes" and move on to things I've had a long enough time to think about and put proper thoughts around.
A month ago I'd have said that he seems like a decent bloke, but seems to have real trouble understanding experiences he can't relate to. The foreword to his short story collection Trigger Warning is a great example of this. He spent a while wittering on about his misgivings about trigger warnings as a concept, then remembered he knew someone with a severe phobia of tentacles and conceded that they had their place. He then proceeded to give a very dumb non-warning which completely failed to mention how something like one in three of the collected stories involved sexual violence. Great job Neil.
I already mentioned in the tags of that previous post my issues with his obvious lies to TV Omens fans who don't know any better. It's just annoying and stupid to lie about something that unimportant, unless it was actually an attempt to get disillusioned Book Omens fans back on side (in which case, wow that failed spectacularly).
And now I realise that everything else is about specific works of his, so I've stuck it under a cut if you don't want to see me bitch about Good Omens adaptational changes changes for the umpteenth time or go on a short heartfelt ramble about what was almost a perfectly crafted short story.
I'll be blunt, I only saw S1 of Good Omens, and while I enjoyed it, it was an incompetent adaptation. The fucking radio play managed to tell the same story with greater faithfulness and more elegance without a 3rd person narrator (and had the brilliant idea of having the opening and closing credits performed by Agnes Nutter's voice actress). Compare and contrast the show making God the 3rd person narrator and exposition dump, and how that changes the whole story from a humanist tale where people are all people and whose choices matter, where God's grand plan night not even exist, to a story where everything implicitly or explicitly is going to God's plan under God's watchful eye.
And I will never comprehend how Gaiman successfully argued to have a whole set built to film Agnes Nutter's death, but then said that for practical reasons they couldn't have Crowley revive the dove. The angel accidentally killed a dove and the demon intentionally revived it! It's so thematically important! Neil why are you like this? Do you understand your own works or was Pterry the only one of you who put actual thought into things' meanings?! HOW DO YOU FUCK THIS UP NEIL? I UNDERSTOOD ITS IMPORTANCE WHEN I WAS 15 NEIL!
Ahem. Moving on.
Neverwhere is the most recent Gaiman book I've read and it's a good showcase of all the issues I have with his writing. The protagonists are dragged along by the plot, they're Special TM by birth or fate, not by the choices they make. The world they inhabit is wonderful, detailed, and vibrant, but I found that far more interesting than the protagonists inhabiting it. We got a random rape backstory for a girl whose main role was to die so the male protagonist feels bad. The way Gaiman described every female character bar one in terms of their attractiveness made me unsure if it was him or the protagonist who was weird about women (although I guess I have the answer to that now). Funny how Gaiman didn't shy away from things and people smelling bad right up until a hot woman who had been fighting, running, and falling over in a swamp apparently smelled not of sweat and stagnant water, but "musk". Really normal, that. There were wonderful descriptions and great moments, but after that first SA moment I couldn't relax and enjoy the ride because I was always on edge waiting for the next time Neil felt the need to be Like That.
Then there's my beloved, hated The Truth is a Cave in the Black Mountains. It's almost the perfect neat fairy-fable where every little detail is paid off later. It's a story of grief and vengeance and greed. It's about the price of fairy magic. And it has a pointless scene stuck in of marital rape. It has no purpose. It does nothing for the pacing or themes or characters. It never comes up again. I hate it.
Stuff can be horny or harrowing or both, I don't care, but Gaiman just drops SA into things for no clear reason as a generic Bad Thing Happen, Make Tone Dark. It's distasteful and inelegant. It cheapens the rest of the writing by its presence.
The simple truth is that Neil Gaiman seems to have a near pathological urge to shove sexual violence into places it has no need or right to be. It's disgusting but sadly not shocking that this apparently includes his personal life.
#asks#gaiman can write great scenes and worlds. there are just a lot of things he can't do and need to be prevented from doing#sadly no one has prevented him from doing them
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Intruder (m) — Tom Cruise
A/N: This isn’t really proofread 🫣 but ENJOYY! 💋
Summary: Tom had a very long day, when he came home he didn’t expect anyone to be laying on his comfortable bed, with her legs spread wide and wearing his favorite button up shirt, a moaning mess.
Warnings: smut, stalker!reader, dom!tom, degradationKink, f/masturbation, f/receiving, WORK OF FICTION
tagging: @deanscroissant
You were born a rebel.
Your favorite movie of all time was Ocean’s 8 and The Bling Ring starting Emma Watson with that pretty good American Accent. Living in L.A has its perks. There will always have parties around the block and the networking is godsend. You and your girlfriends crashed this party one time, nobody noticed an uninvited guests were coming, it was literally a big party hosted by the most famous actor’s son. Your girlfriend successfully slept with Scott Eastwood. The parties that you go to aren’t always the ones that were hosted by some bunch of college kids. Through that networking, you successfully gotten into the ‘party’ party.
You and your girlfriends love doing this. The sneaking in and sneaking out gave you some kind of guilty pleasure and adrenaline that nobody would understand but your girlfriends. There is one thing that they won’t understand though, your obsession with older men. You don’t think you’d have Daddy Issues, no. There’s just something about being attracted to older men that gives you this exciting sensation. It’s a state of mind that, not everyone could understand.
Dragging your finger tips across the marbled walls, you couldn’t believe that you’re actually, successfully, breaking into your number one obsession’s house.
Tom Cruise.
You thought, him being the famous actor in the world, would have a very tight security. He’s basically the United States, but why is this man, chose to live like a normal person with minimum security.
Walking into his living room, you felt like this isn't warm enough for him to come home to. You managed to lighten up the fire in the fireplace. Brushing your hands against each other, you turned your head to the other side of the room to find his liquor collection. You smirk to yourself, you decided to get comfortable and fix yourself a drink. Take advantage as it's good while it lasted, you thought.
A glass of whiskey on your hand, you've always been a whiskey kind of girl. Walking upstairs to explore some more, you finally found his bedroom. Once you closed the door slightly, the temperature is as the same as the living room downstairs. Another fireplace is spotted, you decided to light it up too. You sighed, you loved the warm feeling. You loved being in his room. If only he's real to you, if only he knows you. If only you were born a diva, or a superstar actress, you could probably get it. A chuckle was left from your mouth as you imagined all of the possibilities if you were given the chance to choose how you'd want to be reborn.
Pushing the double doors open from his bedroom, you are greeted with his large closet. It's perfectly color organized. He owns a lot of dress shirts and lots of fancy dress pants. Your fingers went up to touch his watch collections, his cologne. You sprayed some a little bit to your wrist, lightly shaking it before you bring it up to your nose to inhale the sexy smell. You finally know what he smells like.
You sighed in awe before you decided to take off the black dress that you wore and spray the fragrance to your neck, another one of your wrists, and the back of your knees. Placing the bottle back on its original place, you decided to grab one of his dress shirt. Unbuttoning the buttons before you push your arms to the sleeves.
Standing in front of the big mirror, you hugged the fabric the fabric of the shirt to your body. It’s soft, it’s silky, it’s just perfect. Each seconds you spent standing in front of the mirror, you only thought of one thing, if only Tom was standing behind you, wrapping his arms around your body. You sighed, you can only dream.
Walking out from the closet, your eyes wandered to the large bed. Lips bitten as you imagined how could you make it come true, his warm body pressed against you on this bed. You tossed yourself to the soft cushion, you smiled to yourself as you feel the soft and fragrant bed cushion. With a closed eyes, you sighed as your mind began to imagine things you shouldn’t imagine.
Imagine if he were to stand in front of you wearing nothing but his fancy dress pants. Your knees bent, your pussy wet, it yearned the warmth of his tongue flipping against your fold.
"Humm.." You closed your eyes as you hummed to yourself, your fingertips lacing across your lips before you decide to wet them with your saliva.
Your free hand playing with one tit as the other releases itself from your mouth to drag across your stomach down to your pussy. You circled your fingertips against your clothed pussy before you disregard them and toss it somewhere in the room. You bend your knees and spread your legs before you tease your clit.
Tom closes his garage with a huff as he made his way inside. He did not expect the whole house to be this warm. Curious, is written all over his face. He didn't seem to leave the house with a fireplace lit up, when he came in the living room, he noticed his favorite bottle was sitting on top of the bar, chilled.
He softly set his things down on the sofa, leaving the room to check other rooms such as the kitchen, the dining room, any room that is on the ground floor. When Tom stands in front of his large spiral staircase, he swallowed down his saliva before he made his way up the stairs. Tom had to tip-toed in his own house, with a phone on his hand, ready to call his private security who'd be there in just a second.
The door to his bedroom was slightly ajar, a faint light illuminates from inside his room. He heard faint moans. With eyebrows scrunched together, he pushed the door slightly open, only to be surprised that there’s a total stranger lying on top of his bed wearing his dress shirt with their legs spread.
Tom was furious.
How can this stranger breaks into his house?
His anger soon fades away when he heard another moan coming out from your mouth, you sounded so delicate to his ears. Tom watched the way you tease your own pussy, making it nice and wet, before you put one finger inside.
Testing out the waters, you thrust one finger inside your wet pussy. He thrusts one finger inside you, “Look at me, Baby. You feel that?” Tom chuckles. “Look at this pussy, Baby. Look at the way she sucked on my finger.” Tom smirked. “It’s just one finger, how about we add two?”
You added another finger, another moan escaped from your mouth. “Oh that’s a good girl, I’m sure you can take three right, Baby?” You whimpered, but you obeyed. You added a third finger inside your cunt.
Tom watches the whole thing, and it was sexy. Your pussy can really take anything. You thrust your fingers more inside your pussy, going in and out of your cunt in a steady pace before it starts to get even more tingling.
“Oh! Tom… Please, that feels so good..” You moaned to yourself, your fingers still fucking your cunt.
Tom pursed his lips before he pushed the door open and made his way towards you. You, being lost in your own world, you didn’t even hear him coming in, let alone sensing another presence inside the room.
Tom harshly pulled your wrist off, resulting a loud gasp from you. Your body jolted from the laying position, “Oh my god!” You gasped.
“What a whore.” Tom spat, before he pushed you back to his bed. Him hovering over you, he put his fingertips inside of his mouth to wet them before he shoved two fingers to your cunt.
“Oh!” You loudly moaned.
Tom thrusted his fingers in and out of your pussy, before he curls them and flicks them off inside, earning lots of loud moans from your mouth.
“What a fucking whore, breaking into someone else’s house.” Tom grunted in your ear.
“You liked this, don’t you? Huh? Look at me?” You forcefully opened your eyes to look at him in the eye. A stern look on his face, but his hands didn’t stop fucking your cunt.
You whimpered, “I’m s-sorry.. S-sir!” You felt your thigh shook, you’re close.
“Yeah? You’re sorry? No. I bet you’re loving this.” Tom grinned.
“Are you gonna cum? You’re gonna make a mess on my fingers? My bed?” You couldn’t answer, you kept whimpering.
Before you know it, you squirted on his hands. “Oh!” You gasped, your legs trembling, Tom slowed down his pace as he realize you squirted out your release. Tom looks down at his hands, a mess.
“Tsk.. Tsk..” Tom clicked his tongue before he pushed himself off of you.
“Such a whore. Best get going.”
A/N: 🫣 ouch.
#tom cruise fic#tom cruise smut#tom cruise#tom cruise x reader#tom cruise movies#tom cruise fanfiction#tom cruise gif#tom cruise icons
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List 8 tv shows for your followers to get to know you.
Tagged by @nero-neptune
OOPS I was tagged in this like a year ago and am just getting around to posting it 😅 I’m the queen of starting these and then saving them to my drafts to finish later and then just abandoning them. ANYWAY
(I, too, am giving a lil blurb for each one bc I love to talk)
Desperate Housewives
I started watching it a couple weeks ago finished it in the spring and I love one (1) republican. I am now slowly thrifting all of the seasons on DVD
My mom watched it when it first aired and I never sat down and joined her but I remember catching glimpses. As an adult I knew I would love it before I even started and I was right! It has WOMEN. It’s outrageous. It’s hilarious. It’s addicting. The theme song is glorious!! Almost every episode title is a reference to a Sondheim song!!! It has (mostly) aged surprisingly well. And in general it just reminds me of a time before streaming when TV was…different. Idk how to put it into words but first of all, remember when shows had 20+ episodes per season? Never forget what they took from us.
Glee
IYKYK. Any “old” songs I know I know because of either Glee or Rockband. Jayma Mays was my awakening. It introduced me to Rocky Horror and many other musicals. It got me into media literacy/critique and was the first show that I anticipated every single week and the first show I gave up on before it ended. I could go on for ages but you just had to be there (my tumblr from 2012-2015).
Passions
I watched this with my mom as a little kid and am slowly rewatching now. Soap operas are a staple on her side of the family and Passions is the only one I ever got into, because I was like 4 and there was ✨magic✨. As an adult I’m not even really into fantasy but in this case it works for me bc it’s so balls to the wall insane. I definitely don’t think I could get into it today if it weren’t for the childhood nostalgia. It ran for almost 10 years, which is not long considering some soaps are still kicking after 50 or 60. But at 2,231 episodes it’s a LOT if you’re not used to the slow pacing of the soap opera format. It’s so special to me though. I have cat and baby names picked out bc of characters on this show. AND THE THEME SONG!!
Soap
My all time fave. For 10 years I have run the only tumblr blog dedicated to Soap. It’s hilarious and touching and was ahead of its time. Susan Harris is a genius. Fleabag falling in love with a priest? Susan Harris did it first. That lady on Days of Our Lives being possessed? Susan Harris did it first. Who shot JR? Susan Harris did it first. The Golden Girls sitting at a table eating dessert and talking about sex? Susan Harris did that but she also did it BEFORE SHE DID IT. I’ve rewatched this show so many times and there are still scenes that make me laugh out loud. I would die for Jessica Tate. Bury me with the boxset.
That Girl
Just started watching this (in real time, not a year ago) and it’s just so fun!! Marlo Thomas is a cutie. Her wardrobe is unreal. I’ve laughed out loud quite a few times. She has great chemistry with the leading man whose actor’s name I shan’t bother to look up. I feel like I started watching it at the perfect time in my life too.
Ann Marie 🤝🏼 Cute little aspiring actresses who just moved out on their own to the big city and don’t have sex 🤝🏼 Me
Trial & Error
Came for Jayma, stayed for everything. Last year I watched Arrested Development for the first time and if you like that show I think you’ll like Trial & Error. Mockumentary style, wacky characters, great running gags. It was gone too soon and I’m still waiting for a season 2 DVD release.
Out of the Box
Here’s a throwback bc who am I if I don’t put a kids show on the list? I loved this show when I was little. It’s so underrated. I showed it to my current babysitting kids when I first started watching them and they love it too :,) Watching it as an adult makes me so emotional idk why. It warms my heart. If I were to ever become a preschool teacher I would make the babies sing the ending song at their graduation and make their parents cryyyy. If you have little guys in your life you should show it to them. It’s on Disney + (eewwww) but there might be episodes on youtube too.
Instead of blabbing about an 8th show here are some runner ups that I’ve enjoyed over the years, some of which I think are v underrated: Tuca & Bertie, Girlfriends, Mum (BBC, not to be confused with Mom, which I also enjoy), Fleabag, Go On, Jane the Virgin, Wonderfalls, Masters of Sex (might be due for a rewatch of that one), The Fosters (fuck them kids tho), Pushing Daisies, One Mississippi
I tag @lifesizehysteria @cakesexuality @sic-transit-gloria-mea and you can do it again @nero-neptune, I know you have more shows to talk about.
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Hot Vintage TV Women’s Bracket - Mod Thoughts
As promised here are my thoughts on what went down in the hot vintage tv women’s bracket! I organized them by round to focus on the ladies I was sad to see eliminated each round and then added my overall thoughts at the end. Hope these are fun and enjoyable to see my internal bias’s and who I was rooting for and screaming about being eliminated throughout the fierce competition 😊. Also I know mod violet is working on getting their own thoughts written down as well so those will hopefully be up in the future as well.
- mod vintage 💚
Thoughts below the cut
Round 1
- I was so sad to see Holland Taylor go out so early! She’s such a delight and it was such a close race! Wish we could have sent both Holland Taylor and Joan Collins through. It was certainly a match up that was hard to make but it fit so well and I must bear the consequences 😔
- I know Rachel Bilson was a controversial person to let in given The OC is barely in our time frame but clearly it wasn’t an issue as she didn’t make it out of round 1. I don’t mind letting people so close to the cut off through if they fit our criteria cause I do think it’s fun to recognize some of those very early 2000’s shows since it was such an interesting period in TV, a real turning point. But also because I had faith that the vintage tv lovers probably wouldn’t vote anyone from too late in our timeframe too far in the competition. Heck we had people upset the 90’s were included and while some of them did become finalists we still ended up with too certifiably vintage queens as our top two.
- Y’all I am so sorry Angela Lansbury fans. I really didn’t want to do it to you but someone had to go up against Eartha Kitt in round one 😔. On the bright side Eartha Kitt can’t compete next year so I certainly hope Angela will make it further next year!
- Alex Kingston Vs. Julia Louis-Dreyfus…y’all….we were not prepared for how controversial this was going to be! This was the beginning of a continual wave of comments every round about how upsetting it was that we included the 90’s in this tournament 🙃. This wave inspired the creation of the FAQ cause we were so tired of it. I don’t mind that not everyone recognizes the 90’s as vintage, that’s fine, you definitely don’t have to. I just wish people wouldn’t feel the need to yell about it in the tags. It wasn’t just disheartening as the person running the blog but like it’s really disheartening for the people that nominated their favorite 90’s star to see comments like that over and over when they just wanted to celebrate an actress they really enjoy. I know because mod Violet wasn’t part of the blog yet and Alex Kingston in ER was their nomination and it genuinely sucked to see them apologizing for nominating her and feeling so awful about that. So please in the future, if you don’t think someone is sufficiently vintage…please try to chill about it. This competition is supposed to be a fun escape and celebration for people and that really was not a fun way to start things off.
- Oh Sherilyn Fenn…I am so sorry we put you against Gina so early, clearly if the graveyard polls are to go by, you should have gone further. I will not put you against Gina in round 1 if you both come back next year 😅
- Joan Bennett Vs. Grayson Hall, I am so sorry Dark Shadows fans…I did not mean to keep putting y’all through it during this competition 😅 it was honestly completely unintentional, I shoulda guessed doing some match ups based on vibes would lead to people from the same shows occasional doing match ups…which I am overall fine with…it just happened to y’all a lot…apologies
- Mira Furlan I am so sorry! I have seen Babylon 5 in its entirety now and I get it! Y’all! Mira Furlan is stunning! She has that energy and presence that completely stops you in your tracks and commands attention! She is powerful and beautiful and elegant and just all around stunning! She absolutely kills it as Delenn in B5 and has certainly earned her spot as one of my all time favorite sci-fi characters! She is as beautiful as a Disney princess with the presence of the moon itself! I love her!
- Lucy Lawless Vs. Claudia Black…okay so I was warned so heavily against this one…I still argue that it was a valid match up…but mod Violet was totally correct to argue against it and I sincerely thank them for giving me the heads up that the tumblr lesbians would NOT like this match up 😅….mod Violet was very correct as usual. If it’s any consolation I do really like Claudia Black…while I still think my match up was valid, I am sorry and I sincerely hope she goes further in the next tournament…I will let mod Violet pick her match up next time 😅
- …I am so sorry Red Dwarf fans that both your girls went out in round one…I genuinely thought at least one of them would win their match ups, they both had my vote
- I’m gonna be honest, I knew Carol Burnett Vs. Elisabeth Sladen would be a hard match up but I thought it would have been much closer. I clearly overestimated the amount of Carol Burnett fans on tumblr and underestimated how many of the Doctor Who fans would show up (and since I’m currently working on the men’s bracket I will definitely keep this in mind as there are a lot more Doctor Who nominees now)
- So we actually had Jennifer Aniston Vs. Courtney Cox originally…would people have been mad about that cause neither of them made it past round 1
- Ah round 1, we only got a taste of things to come with Itatí Cantoral Vs. Audrey Meadows
Round 2
- Looking back this round had some surprisingly tough match ups that were really close…like I know I made the match ups but looking back at some I’m like damn….round 2? Like we had a much smaller group of ladies so it had to happen but…yeah I get why it was shocking now…terribly sorry, had to happen but still, sorry 😅
- Fran Drescher Vs. Jackée Harry…this one hurt so much 😭 I predicted what would happen even as I made the match up but it was a fair match up so it had to happen even though the results hurt so much 😭. I rewatched Sister Sister so much growing up and Jackée Harry was just like the beloved tv mom for me! I thought she was one of the prettiest women in the world as a kid and I still think she is absolutely gorgeous! I adore Fran and I’m glad she kept going on but damn if I didn’t want both of them to move on so badly 😭
- Farrah Fawcett Vs. Eva Gabor this one hurt so much! Y’all it’s Eva Gabor?!?! Have you seen her?!? She is stunning!!!! She was the definition of glamorous Hollywood lady to me growing up!
- Kellye Nakahara Vs. Lily Tomlin, so I didn’t know Kellye Nakahara before this tournament (M*A*S*H has been on my watch list for ages, I just don’t currently have the streaming service it’s on) but boi did I fall instantly in love with her through your propaganda! Not just me but my partner too! He was walking past when I was reviewing the video propaganda for her and stopped in his tracks to watch with me, only saying “I like her”. And yeah! We like her a lot and I can’t wait to see her in M*A*S*H one day!
- Itatí Cantoral Vs. Loretta Swit, this was the true beginning of the Itatí sweep. I am so sorry M*A*S*H fans that both your girls went out in round 2 (I’m rooting for you in the men’s round!) but as I had not previously seen Itatí’s work I had no idea she had such a passionate fanbase on tumblr 😅. However while I was sad to see the M*A*S*H girls eliminated so early, It was an absolute delight to see such a passionate response for Itatí and get to witness the power of her fandom full force! The Itatí fandom certainly won most passionate fans in this competition! Thank you all for so passionately engaging with her polls and letting us know how much you love her! It was so delightful to watch, your joy was contagious! I’ll definitely be rooting for Itatí next competition!
- Alex Kingston Vs. Terry Farrell…oh this one hurt so much 😭 I think this was the first one that elicited the “I hate you” response from my partner when I ran it by him (lovingly of course but he was genuinely upset to see this match up). This one was painful for both me and mod Violet. Like we knew it was a really good match up which is why we went through with it but oh boi was it a win-lose situation 🙃. Alex Kingston may have been one of mod violet’s nominations but they love Terry Farrell too! I am a huge DS9 fan, it is one of my favorite TV shows and by far my favorite trek show and sci-fi series. And I just absolutely adore Terry Farrell as Jadzia Dax in that show! She is so stunning and so talented, like she genuinely makes you believe she actually has lived that many lives, you totally buy she was Sisko’s old man friend a few years prior, and she’s just an absolute delight! I will forever be upset about her leaving the show and the reasons behind that. Mod violet may be a newer DS9 fan (We have been doing a first time watch of DS9 and X-files together both sharing our fav sci-fi shows with one another) but they still love Terry Farrell in that show and boi was this round painful for all of us 😔😭
Round 3
- Ah the round that took down all the golden girls (except Estelle Getty who wasn’t nominated and yes I’m still a bit miffed about that! SHAME! She shoulda been nominated too!). Y’all put up a valiant fight! I’m sorry they didn’t make it further as they were all beloved and stunning in their own ways! I’m so glad they were in the competition tho so thank you to everyone who nominated them and provided propaganda! I adore the Golden Girls and it was such a delight to see so much love for them and all your delightful propaganda! Needless to say I look forward to seeing them again next year and you bet we’ll be blogging about them all in the meantime 🥰
- Carolyn Jones Vs. Julie Newmar we thought this was gonna be the round where Carolyn Jones finally went down but y’all surprised us in the most delightful way! Sincerely thank you all for keeping her in! Carolyn Jones is mod violet’s childhood crush and just so important to them! That crush and watching the Addams Family was a defining moment for them, it’s so fundamental to who they are as a person in the most delightful way so it was so special to have this delightful surprise and get to see their favorite keep going forward in the competition when we thought for sure she wouldn’t. Sincerely thank you for making my best friend smile 🥰 this was one of the best moments in the competition for me and a great example of why I don’t mind putting in the work necessary to run this competition. It makes people happy, and it makes them smile. Y’all made my best friend so happy here and to me that makes the whole competition worth it 🥰
- Diana Rigg Vs. Nichelle Nichols, I didn’t really know Diana Rigg before this competition but y’all made me fall in love with her with the overwhelming amount of propaganda we received for her! She had some of the most propaganda in the whole competition. I was genuinely sad to see her go.
- Nana Visitor Vs. Gillian Anderson, Oh! This one was even more painful than Alex Kingston Vs. Terry Farrell 😭. This one hurt my soul! Neither me nor mod Violet wanted this match up but neither of us could justify any other match up…we had to make the sacrifice and damn was it fucking painful 😭. Pretty sure this was the one that got the strongest “I hate you” reaction from my partner when I showed him (again lovingly but he was just as upset as me and mod violet were and rightfully so). Like this was my impossible choice! This was the hardest match up for me in the whole competition! I am a die hard DS9 fan and Nana Visitor as Kira Nerys is my favorite Star Trek character of all time if not my favorite sci-fi character of all time! Nana Vistor absolutely knocks it out of the park as Kira! She delivers a stunning emotional, real performance, and she’s absolutely gorgeous while doing it! I love her! I adore her! I am a fan for life since the moment I watched Deep Space Nine for the first time! And one of the only people that would make me even consider not voting for her is Gillian Anderson. I am a new X-files fan, I’ve been watching it for the first time with mod Violet as they introduce me to their favorite sci-fi show as I’ve been introducing them to mine. And damn if the x-files doesn’t constantly remind me that I am indeed a bisexual 👀. Have you seen Gillian Anderson and (male co-Star who may be nominated for the men’s round) just….Aaaaaaahhhh!!! I feel like I’m having my bisexual awakening again every time I watch that show! Gillian Anderson is so stunning! And I was already a fan. While it’s not remotely eligible for this completion, I first encountered her in Hannibal and absolutely fell in love! She is a phenomenally talented actress and one of the most beautiful women on the planet! I adore her! I voted for Nana cause she will always have my heart and soul for her depiction of Kira but damn if Gillian didn’t make me think long and hard about it. Couldn’t think of a more worthy opponent to defeat one of my all time favs.
- Alex Kingston Vs. Penny Johnson Jerald, y’all I can’t reiterate how absolutely delighted I was to see that Penny Johnson Jerald was nominated for this competition! I adore her in everything I’ve ever seen her in and she is in a lot (she’s one of those actresses that I feel like I see her in everything!). She is just such a delight and I find myself hanging on her every word anytime I see her. She is a phenomenal actress and just so beautiful! I was sad to see her go but overall I was just so happy to see her included! Thank you to whoever nominated her and anyone who sent in propaganda for her! You made me very happy!
Round 4
- Nichelle Nichols Vs. Carolyn Jones, this was the most painful match up to put together in the whole competition. This was literally pitting my favorite against mod violet’s favorite. We tried so hard to come up with other combinations to see if we could avoid this for a bit longer but any other combination we had just had even worse match ups. It was the fairest match up so even though it was painful to us on every level…we had to go forward with it 🙃. If this isn’t an example of us doing our best to be fair and reasonable and keep our personal bias’s out of it then I don’t know what is. This one hurt 🙃
- Itatí Cantoral Vs. Lucy Lawless, I know this one was controversial but genuinely this one was so exciting to watch! At this point they were both established power houses and it was so fun to get to see them battle it out especially cause I genuinely think they both probably could have been finalists in their own right. I’ll say we were genuinely surprised that Lucy lost this one, I may not run in tumblr lesbian circles like mod Violet does but even I know that Lucy Lawless is tumblr royalty! This was probably one of my favorite polls in the whole competition and definitely the biggest upset we had! Definitely can’t wait to see how things go for them both next year, especially if we reach more of the die hard Lucy Lawless fans cause she’s definitely one I could see winning in a future tournament.
Quarter Final
- Lynda Carter Vs. Gillian Anderson, the round that defeated tumblr’s local celebrity, Lynda Carter. It was such a delight to have her in the competition! What can I say that the rest of tumblr hasn’t? She seems like an absolutely lovely person and she is stunningly beautiful! A very worthy finalist and I definitely won’t be surprised if she wins the crown someday! Also genuinely thank y’all for not bothering her with this. We were genuinely worried that people might tag her in this and we really didn’t want to bother her with our silly lil competition. While we all know that ultimately this competition is about celebrating these amazing performers, we can totally see a competition that is titled with the word hottest being seen as just an shallow objectifying thing and we really do not want to offend her or anyone else with that. It really is just a fun way to show our love and respect for some amazing performers that also happen to be very beautiful. So thank you all for respecting both Lynda Carter and us and not bothering her about our silly little competition. I hope she’s having a lovely day.
- Itatí Cantoral Vs. Diahann Carroll, the end of the Itatí sweep. It was so much fun while it lasted but apparently even the waves of Itatí fans couldn’t stand up to the might of Diahann Carroll! I couldn’t think of a more worthy foe to go out to.
- Gina Torres Vs. Nichelle Nichols, I’m gonna be honest, y’all had me scared with this one but luckily my girl Nichelle pulled through! I was however, sad to see Gina go as I sincerely think she is one of the most beautiful women alive today! She is just stunningly gorgeous, has a beautiful entrancing voice, and is an absolutely phenomenal actress all around! Can’t wait to see her return next year and see how far she’ll go! Certainly a worthy finalist!
Semifinal
- Gillian Anderson, we figured this was as far as she’d go cause at least for us Nichelle Nichols, Diahann Carroll, and Eartha Kitt all could have been the winner. And while Gillian is absolutely stunning and a favorite of both of ours, I think this was a really worthy place to go out! She did so well! Can’t wait to see how far she’ll make it in future tournaments! I won’t be surprised if she wins one year!
- Diahann Carroll, it truly was a complete toss up and luck of the draw with who ended up against Eartha Kitt. And I genuinely think Diahann absolutely could have won! But what a worthy rival to go out against! I would have been disappointed had she been defeated by anyone other than Eartha Kitt or Nichelle Nichols.
Final
- Nichelle Nichols Vs. Eartha Kitt, I mean damn! Talk about a dream final! This really did end up being the perfect final match up! And what a nail bitter of a final it was! It was so damn close! I loved seeing the push to get it for a tie! And I fully would have honored it and given a double crown cause to me this is deciding between two of the most beautiful women to have ever lived! What can one say about Nichelle Nichols and Earths Kitt that hasn’t already been said?! They were both phenomenal performers, absolutely captivating, drawing you in, if they were on screen you weren’t looking at anything but them! They were both extremely remarkable women that made significant contributions to history! Just absolutely stunning women in every aspect! Truly evenly matched and both equally deserving of the crown! I couldn’t have asked for a better final! As a huge Star Trek and Nichelle Nichols fan, she got my vote and I won’t lie, I was disappointed that she didn’t win but I couldn’t have asked for a more worthy person to beat her. Eartha Kitt absolutely deserved the double crown as the hottest vintage lady in all of tv and cinema! And while I’m sad that Nichelle didn’t win, I have a feeling she won’t have to wait too long for a crown of her own, at least I certainly hope so.
Overall Thoughts
What a doozy of a competition this was! It was such a blast! It had its highs and lows and plenty of scandal and drama! Every single one of the ladies nominated are lovely and I am so happy I got to help people share their love for them and shine a spotlight on them all! It was a delight to be introduced to so many new amazing hot vintage tv ladies and the shows they were a part of and I look forward to watching the shows they were on in the future. And it was so delightful to see so many of my long time beloved favs loved by so many others too!
Genuinely thank you to everyone who participated in any way! I knew this would be fun but yall really made this such a blast and completely worth all the time, effort, and extra back pain (I am disabled and some of those long nights at the computer I completely overdid it 🙃 but worth it!)
I can’t wait to see what happens in the men’s bracket! I am bi but I usually have a preference for men or masculine presenting people so I am already going absolutely feral while looking through submissions 😅. Truly a blessing that mod Violet agreed to join the blog cause together our preferences balance each other out and we are able to help keep each other’s bias’s in check. That and while we have a lot of overlap in tv taste we run enough in different circles that we were able to together cover pretty decent ground on knowing tumblrs preferences which helped a lot in trying to make fun and fair match ups.
I really hope even after this year’s tournament is concluded that we can continue this lovely community of vintage tv and media lovers going. It’s been a blast interacting with all of you and hearing how much you all love your favorite vintage tv stars and vintage tv shows! Can’t wait for the men’s bracket and to do this all over again with you all sometime next year after that!
Sincerely,
Mod Vintage 💚
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i'm not sure if you're aware of the representation of the israeli occupation being the entirety of the wlf vs the seraphites section and that that's actually where neil's zionist views are most prevalent. i think it's disingenuous to call out the performativeness of ellie content while completing negating all the content of other popular characters content especially because the zionism propaganda is grossly apparent in them. i don't really want to get into the semantics.
but i do agree with your post, i thought about it the other day and it's genuinely jarring to see links for palestine introducing a fic of fucking a fictional character/s from a game that perpetuates the very violence the author is supposedly calling against, the irony is just ludicrous. but anyway, i'm sorry for ranting omg i just wanted to add that it applies for all tlou content/characters/actors not just ellie and not just the remastered even part i has zionist propo. (bella ramsey called for a ceasefire after liking several of neil's zionist posts, the actress who's playing dina in the show is also a zionist, pedro's not a zionist i think but he was silent for weeks before saying anything and is close friends w several zionists so i would'nt say calling him one is far fetched)
yes, i am aware of the symbolic parallels in the game because i followed the news about the zionism in the game since it first started coming out in january (funnily enough when tlou was coming out…) but i also don’t personally agree that it’s “disingenuous” to call out performative actions on the behalf of people who favor ellie in the game compared to other forms of propaganda in the game because im simply not talking about that. my focus in my rant was the ellie stans because of the abrupt switch up that occurred during this week compared to the past few months based on what’s been happening in palestine as well as the extent zionism influences the game—especially its creator. i was simply making a comment about what i was mostly seeing promoted in the tags, which was the hypocrisy of ellie writers and stans. i didn't think it necessary to include other parts of the larger story about how deeply ingrained zionism is in the history of the game in order to highlight how ellie writers fail to understand how to properly advocate. it just had nothing to do with my original point to be honest but you are right that other aspects of the game if not all include some inspiration from his zionistic narrative on palestine.
my whole point was drawing direct parallels to neil and his own experiences being put into the characters as i feel he sees himself as ellie, being enraged by the loss of joel and in a means to avenge his death as well as make herself feel better for the loss ultimately go out and kill the people responsible, which makes ellie have some zionistic elements to her character. i am not talking about the idf v. wlf and the battle for land because i interpret that as israel v. palestine whereas the cofmlct between ellie and abby (along with her friends) as neil v. palestinians. i got another anon like this that used similar wording and don’t know if it was you as well but i thought i made this quite clear in my original post and other ones. again, i never addressed the idf and the wlf because i never mentioned it originally as i am solely talking about characters and the writers such as ellie/ellie writers because that’s the big chunk of it.
and i am so so so SO glad you brought up the link trees being put under fics. it’s honestly like a double edged sword because on one end why the hell are there links to help give humanitarian aid to a ethnic cleanse/genocide happening in palestine under a fic of ellie strapping down reader in the bathroom of a party happening at jackson ???? it just looks absurd, out of place, and a bit disrespectful considering the juxtaposition of content cus how we going from reading smut to addressing a real issue killing thousands. but at the same time, i do acknowledge that there are people who don’t care enough as they should about these issues and rather ignore what’s going on by sticking to their regular routine instead of taking action so maybe by putting links at the end of multiple fics it will push people who didn’t care before to start engaging in free palestine content. i can see the vision but it depends on what type of fanfiction it is yk because if it were fluff i would say okay it’s appropriate but if it’s a smut… idk i see both the benefits and its problems. and yeah all the actors have been disappointing to say the least especially after bella made a palestine highlight after liking SEVERAL zionist posts just to save they own ass 😭😭😭😭😭 and i don’t think pedro is a zionist but it’s not like that matters because one of the worse things you can do is be silent which is arguably worse like it is better to say something than nothing at all. i compare it to taylor swift who refuses to mention the genocide and almost operates as if it doesn’t exist, similar to most celebs being favored in the media right now, because that makes them appear neutral and avoids the risk of losing a large amount of fans based on “political” views which is just gross.
but don’t apologize for ranting!!! i actually find what you said really interesting about how writing for ellie while opposing violence towards palestine is basically hypocritical because she is doing the same violence in the game. i didn’t ALWAYS know about the stuff with neil because tlou isn’t one of my most favorite games but i interpret you saying that based on the knowledge that we all know now which is that the game is based on a foundation of zionism. i feel like you could view the story of tlou2 (or at least by how it ended) as a story about grief and how certain actions come back to haunt you, courtesy of joel, as well as the road to redemption/making peace because after ellie goes on a rampage she does choose in the end to not kill abby which is like wow cus after everything you lost you didn’t do what you said you would due to her change in heart yk. but you can’t really separate the fact that it is based in zionism so hypothetically if the genocide happening in gaza simply wasn’t happening, would it then be okay to write/edit ellie? because the vibe you are giving is that it isn’t morally right to edit/write/etc for ellie as well as other characters who have the same elements of zionism engraved into their character (not that i am saying this view is bad, wrong, or invalid) and if that’s so i would love to hear you elaborate because that’s a whole other point of view on this whole thing.
anyways sorry for being a d1 yapper anon but you’re so so right and brought up some really good points i just had to type like i had 48 hours of free time‼️‼️
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