#and the next day we had to go to the hospital because i couldnt breathe properly a few hours before (3am)

[insaneinthearazometrain]

pick a vibe

[fanficwritinggirl]

The return (Mcdanno)

Chapter 3 - Meeting (ka halawai)

Grace didnt know what to think when she walked into the NICU, this was not where she thought she was going to end up today. She was meeting Steve's kid, Steve had a kid, a daughter at that and she couldnt be happier for him.

Walking into the NICU, she was met with the faint beeping of the machines. She looks over towards the babies and her heart breaks a little at them, all of them all here for different reasons, some worse than others and that was a horrible thought. Steve holds out a pink gown like think for her to put over her clothes. It was the first time since seeing Steve that she relised he was wearing one himself. He smiled at her as she put on the gown and then he guided her over to the main area.

Inside there was about 6 babies all attached to different machines and it was a little overwhelming but then there was a little pod like thing in the corner of the room and she just knew that this was the little girl who she just had to meet. She and Steve walked over and as she saw the little girl her mouth fell open. The little girl had a little breathing tube coming out of her nose, and wires attached to her chest and was just so small, Grace felt tears come to her eyes. Steve looked over at her and put a hand on her back.

"Hey, shes okay. The doctors are doing a great job and she has got the best care that she could get," Steve assured her and then he pointed out all of the stuff.

"The breathing tubes are helping her breathe because her lungs arent fully developed. Nothing of hers is really fully developed but here she is as safe as she can be". Grace looks at Steve and cant help but smile at the sight of him. The look that he gave his little girl made her cry a little more. The love that he had for the little girl was evident.

"I like how you are the one asssuring me. She's your baby. And you have been pretty much sobbing since the moment i saw you" Grace said, wiping her eyes. Steve chuckles a little.

"Yeah, i guess i was but Gracie" he says looking at her. "Most of it was because i was just so happy to see you and your dad". Grace gives him a soft smile. She leans into Steve and leans her head on his shoulder.

"You are going to be a good father Uncle Steve".

Danny took a few minutes to himself before he ringing Tani. God this was going to be fun to explain. "Danny," Tani voice fills his ear.

"Hey, hows everything going over there".

"Everythings fine. Junior and Charlie are just playing in the backyard with Eddie. No cases have come up thankfully" she tells him and he sighs in relief.

"Yeah thats really good" he mutters out.

"So whats going on with Steve." Danny leans his head into his hand and then leans back in the chair a little bit.

"Um... Steve has a daughter". There is silence on the other side of the line for a minute.

"What do you mean he has a daughter, when did that happen" Tani asks confused. Danny lets out a big breathe before leaning forward again.

"He and Catherine met again the day he left and started a relationship again. They called quits a few months ago and Steve was going to come back to Hawaii but then Catherine found out she was pregnant. She ended up having HG and was in hospital for months and then after she got out she had a bunch of other health issues. She went into early labor and thats why we are here" Danny explains as simply as he can. He can hear movement on the other side of the phone, most likely Tani sitting down.

"Okay, but then why did Steve called all distressed. Was he having a bit of a new dad freak out" Tani asks jokingly and god Danny knew that she was going to feel horrible after what he had to tell her next.

"Tani... Catherine died". There was more silence. Danny looked down at the floor and sighed.

"She had a heart attack after the baby came and she was too weak to be saved". It takes another minute before Tani speaks.

"Hows the baby. Hows Steve?" Danny looks towards and shakes his head.

"The baby was born at 30 weeks and is the NICU and Steve... Steve was inconsolable when we came. Just kept crying... God Tani" Danny starts to cry. All of the feels taking over him like a wave and god he wished he would stop. He had to be strong.

"Danny. Hey. Listen to me, everything is going to be okay. You and Grace are there, that is what Steve needs right now is you two. And you said you were is Cedars, its one of the best hospitals in the entire country, number 1 in California. The baby is in the best hands there. And Steve... Steve will need some time but he will get better and with you Danny. He can do anything". Danny lets out a shaky breathe before leaning back in his chair and nodding.

"Yeah your right".

"I know i am. Now i have to ask, have you seen the little munchkin yet". Danny laughs.

"No i havent, Grace is in there with Steve. There is only 2 allowed in at a time. And munchkin really".

"Hey dont you judge me Danny William. I will give that baby any nickname that i want. And you better get photos. I am going to tell everyone the exciting news. And we want updates" she tells him and Danny just nods.

"Yeah i will keep you updated okay".

"Okay, well i better go and get these two lot in before they get too muddy, i do not want to clean Eddie today." Danny laughs knowing how much of a pain that dog is to clean, the amount of time he, Steve, Charlie and Grace have got soaked from cleaning him was too many to count at this point.

"Okay, well give me a ring later before Charlie goes to be tonight".

"Okay i will Danno".

"And Tani".

"Yeah".

"Can you not tell Charlie about the baby and Steve just yet. I want him to hear it from me first".

"Yeah sure, i'll tell Junior".

"Right. And Tani".

"Yes Danno".

"Tell Charlie i want to hear his virdict on whos pancakes were better".

The door of the NICU opens and Steve and Grace walk out. Grace has a smile on her face and she turns and hugs Steve. "Thank you for calling" she says to him and he smiles hugging her back.

"You are family Grace. I want you apart of my daughters life." Grace nods against him and Steve looks and Danny who is just smiling at the sight in front of him. Steve leans down to Grace and whispers to her.

"Lets not tell your dad the name yet. I want it to be a suprise." Grace nods and lifts her head to Steve.

"Want to be he is going to cry."

"Of course he is. Your dad cries at the dumbest movies," and the pair of them laugh.

"What are you two laughing at," Danny asks them as he stands up and walks towards them.

"Is it something about me," he asks and Steve and Grace look at each other with smirks on their face.

"No Danno its not about you," Grace says closer to him.

"Im going to go and get some coffee whilst you are in there. Do you want some Uncle Steve?"

"Yeah that would be great, Gracie. Thank you."

"I'll be back in a bit," she tells them before walking away leaving Danny and Steve alone together for the first time in two years. The pair stare at each other not knowing what to say.

"Do you want to come meet her," Steve asks causing Danny to nod at him.

Danny and Steve walk towards the baby after putting on their covers. Stopping in front of the incubator, Danny cant help but smile. This was Steves baby and she was so, so perfect. Danny loved her so much already.

"She's perfect Steve" Danny says first, smiling at the baby. The tubes and the wire were a little scary but Danny knew they were helping her.

"She is..." Steve trails. Danny turns to him and sees the worry on his face.

"Hey whats wrong," he asks. Steve lets out a shaky breathe

"When Catherine told me she was pregnant I was so scared. So scared that i was going to be a terrible parent but i felt better about it because at least Catherine was there. And now that she is gone... i am so scared i feel like the world is just going to suck me up Danno. I feel like i am constantly going to fail her... that im not good enough" Steve cries. Danny shakes his head and takes Steve in his arms.

"Hey, you listen to me Steve McGarrett. I know what that feels like, hell i still feel like then when it comes to Charlie and Grace but hey," Danny points and the baby girl. "She is going to love you. She is going to love you because you are her dad and you are going to be a god damn great dad to her. She is going to be the luckiest kid alive because you are her dad. And i know this because i have seen you with my kids and if you treat her like you treat them then she is going to be a very amazing girl, Steve. Yes there are going to be times were you mess up and feel like you are failing them but that is a part of being a parent." Steve looks at Danny and nods.

"You know you have gotten pretty good at the speech thing," Steve compliments and Danny raises his hands.

"I have always been good at the speech thing you have just never appreciated it before," Danny sasses and Steve laughs.

"God i missed this" Steve whispers and then there is the silence again. The silence were the both of them had so much to say but not knowing where to start.

"Danno I..." Steve starts but Danny puts his hand up.

"Steve, hey. Lets not do this now okay. Let focus of Baby McGarrett for now. And then umm we can discuss the whole other stuff later, okay," to which Steve nods knowing that he was right.

"Now, i am going to take some pictures because I have some very eager people awaiting pictures back home" Danny says fishing out his phone and snapping a picture.

"Now do we have a name for this little girl" Danny says while uploading the picture of Baby McGarrett onto the group chat that Tani had set up. Steve letss out a breathe.

"Me and Catherine never picked out a name. I mean we were arguing over a few names the past few weeks but nothing stuck out really."

"And what sort of names were you picking out. Because i can not imagine Steve McGarrett sitting reading through baby name lists."

"Well Catherine actually made me download this app and it was like baby name tinder."

"Did you just say baby name tinder."

"Yeah baby name tinder. Its a thing. You send a link to someone and your accounts link and then you swipe right or left on the names you like and then the name pops up if its a match," Steve explains and Danny raises his eyebrows.

"Now that is the smartest but dumbest thing that i have ever heard. I mean who thinks up of these things."

"I dont know Danno, its not like i messaged the guy asking him how he came up with his app concept," Steve argues.

"Hey im just say" Danny says putting his hands up in defence. Danny sighs looking at the baby, at this rate the poor thing was never going to have a name.

"Here look through it" Steve says as he holds out his phone. Danny looks at his confused.

"Look through what".

"The list of names me and Catherine liked. Pick one you like and then that will be her name," Steve explains and Danny holds a breathe.

"You want me to pick your childs name."

"Yes Danno that is exactly what i am asking you to do." Danny stares at Steve for a minute before looking down at the list on the phone. There wasnt many, five or so. Danny read through them all putting them together with Steves last name and there was only one that stuck out to Danny.

"Daisy." Steves eyes never leave his daughter as Danny says the name and he smiles at her. Daisy, that was her name, it was perfect.

"Now i am telling you now i am not helping you pick out her middle name. You can do that yourself" Danny says handing Steve his phone back over.

"I dont have to pick out a middle name. It suprisingly the only thing me and Catherine agreeded on."

"And what did you decide on."

"Dani" Steve tells him, now he had to see Dannys face and Steve swears he could see tears in the shorter mans eyes.

"Her middle name is Dani, after the pain in my ass but also my best friend" Steve explains and Danny nods his heads. He sniffles and wipes his nose before giving Steve a hug.

"Thanks man. I love you," Danny tells him pulling back from him.

"Your welcome and i love you too." Danny and Steve turn back looking at Daisy and smile.

"Dasiy Dani McGarrett. Great name. Everyone is going to love this" Danny says as he messages the groupchat the name and picture to follow that he didnt send before.

"Yeah its perfect," Steve says as he looks at his daughter.

"You know i am going to hold you to the fact that you let me help name your child over your head for the rest of your life right," Danny tells him. And all that Steve can do is chuckle and nod his head.

"Yeah i know Danno. I know."

[marijkeoo]

my friend tried to kill herself and we crack jokes in the hospital room about the causes and effects and i love her but goddamn was it hard to stay awake i thought i was going to throw up after that spicy marg but i didnt and she kept drinking and now its all gone ive fallen off the horse but im still running beside it and i hope that i can get a second to breathe soon i couldnt recognize myself in the mirror on monday and i got up anyways and went to class i think i might have some kind of weird relationship with food but ive been eating scones with soft butter even though its so expensive and ive been healing i think my sister is still so incredibly stupid but at least i dont have to hear about it all the time and get unreasonably upset about the fact that we dont talk anymore and nothing ever changes but nothing stays the same my friend from back home is ghosting me even though we live a mere 10 minute bus ride away and it hurts i think even though i dont really think about her much my roommate is going back to toronto and might drop out but ive done it too and i think that everything will all work out itll all work out itll all work out itll all work out my parents are coming in two days and i wont tell them i want to sleep and im so aimless but i will say that i love the city and i love living here and im grateful every day for my life even if i wake up at 1pm after getting home at 6 and i miss my classes and its not even that i learn anything i just love a ritual and i was going to go get a job today but i think it has to wait another little bit and i have work to do but i think maybe its ok to eat some tinned fish and let my hair dry i never used to shower in the morning but now i dont always shower at night i want to be like the elif batuman character and go for runs and pretend everything is fine and study linguistics but then discover nothing can explain our little chatty quirks and give it up and study something so much better i.e. philosophy but i skipped the linguistics part and went straightt into this degree that i think i love but also i didnt really have a choice i need to pay for school next semester but i cant figure out how to believe that i can get money somehow i dont think ill ever be famous but maybe people can know me a little bit i have to be on the radio hosting a show soon but i cant force myself to want to actually forcing myself to do anything nowadays is so fucking hard but ive never had a mental illness and i think im too dutch to linger on myself too much i have this thing that i say all the time to my friends and i repeat it to myself it the mirror "you think too much about yourself" and i havent cried in six to eight months properly but i think i might pick it up as a hobby maybe i just need a hobby ive been reading a french translation of a milan kundaris book (rip king) and the woman roughly says "why do men never give what i give in return" and she says this to her partner and he wonders why she thinks this because its really fuckin stupid to him and he says "you know what i think about? war." and i thought that was really funny and i laughed out loud on the metro and the days are getting colder and the burning of limbs doesnt happen quite as bad and the burn is just skin or whatever and i type with these long red nails i stole from the drug store and im relearning how to speak and talk and interact with people even though i think im a linguistic terestrial bipedal animal and i saw a cool show on monday and only got five hours of sleep and i play euchre and sometimes i win and i just cant believe that she tried to kill herself but at least she came and woke me up if she died without letting me know i wouldve been really upset and i really dont tend towards emotion if you couldve heard the 911 call i made you would think that im a robot and my friend said i sounded like one in the hospital room last night i think that i need a little handycam and to get better and out of this rut im always in a rut it seems

also i just remebered that wherever you go you bring yourself with you and this is significant because i never feel at home anywhere i am i always feel alien im always an alien i need to become a professor at small liberal arts universities in rural canada and move every two years because i dont know how someone could stay where they are for longer than that i love this life that i have but i need to restart pretty regularly but im stuck here for at least two years then i move and go to winnipeg or saskatoon or calgary or up north maybe i go to yukon or iqualuit and i do a masters then i go to europe for a doctorate and come back parading around because i finally made my grandma happy and i send postcards and i tell my friends ill see them later because later is indefinite and saying see you in five years sounds gross and sad but later is always sometime sooner it feels and i want to be a ghost i need to be a ghost i want to wander into peoples lives and leave them but sometimes drop back in just to say hello over coffee and hour before i need to be at the airport my isolation feels key to my mission on earth and although i dont talk to God all the time i think i feel him residing in my soul and i know that my soul infuses everything i touch and if i ever get married it needs to be a tall protestant dutch man whos nice to me and likes to be around me and i dont know if ill ever find a man like that but desires not a crime my life is spinning out i need to smoke a dart but i dont want to spend money on cigs i have a matchbook i stole from a bar and i think we should bring back lighting belmonts with matches its so rare we get to hold fire in our hands the smoke pit is a gift if your a bullshitter like me i heard that run clubs are the new dating apps but i think that running with people usually sucks and having anyone i could potentially be interested in see me like that would give them the ick and i think its good to be alone, at least until summer when i can go sit on a patio and drink a light beer my friend showed me coffee tonics and i think i could die happy if i had one in my hand all the time and i have a pink moka pot and life always works out for me because every day on this earth is another day that i get to drink my coffee and eat tuna and see little dogs and sit in the library and sunbathe in the park and listen to amy winehouse and exist in a moment

[4kids2dogsandabreakdown]

Dashi Birth Story

Okay so, its been 6 years and much of this is from memory. I know I wrote a diary while I was in the hospital with Dashi but I cant find the damn thing!

Monday 8th January 2018, Was having contractions in the morning, we got the kids ready for school and nursery. My best friend and David were there, once the kids went off I dont think it was long before we were heading to the hospital. My friend was laughing hysterically at me because I was 'mooing' with each contraction :D

We'd had a number of meetings with the hospital before going in for this delivery and it had been agreed that I would be able to labour in the midwife led unit without constant monitoring. I know the doctors had reservations about it, but it genuinely made the labour so much easier for me.

I was in the birth pool the whole time, I coped well with the pain and only had a bit of gas and air all the way through.

We were given space and privacy for most of the time between them checking the baby/me so we were alone when the waters burst. The pool became murky which seemed like something we should be worried about so we asked the midwife to come back in.

At that point I was starting to want to push. I think they checked how dialated I was, then I was pushing. Two midwives were assisting, catching her. She was very briefly put on my chest and then taken out of the room. I was informed that she had breathed in meconium and was struggling to breathe properly.

She was born at 2.15pm, before the kids had even finished school.

I was....scared, but kind of numb too, like I daren`t think too hard in case I went off the deep end completely and lost my shit.

So me and David were just sitting alone in this labour room eating toast and having a cup of coffee wondering if our baby was dead.

I felt like shit, but Id just given birth so it was kind of expected. I tried to go to the toilet, I managed to stand up but as I did a LOT of blood fell out of me and I hit the deck. I dont remember being lifted or put on the bed, there were suddenly loads of people running around (David had pushed the emergency button).

I really thought I might die, Ive been through a fair amount of scary situations but I think this one was the closest Ive come to not surviving. David held it and me together. I was rushed to a delivery room and they started manually removing clots from my womb (without an epidural) but they couldnt get me to stop bleeding. So it was decided Id have to go to theatre and hopefully stop the bleeding in there.

Luckily I only had to have an epidural instead of a general but it being in theatre again was horrific and not something I ever ever want to go through again.

I was taken to a ward afterwards, Im not sure where david was, I think Id sent him to watch over Dashi. They said I couldnt go and see her until I was more recovered. I was absolutely not having that. I managed to get a nurse to take me to the toilet, sadly because of the epidural and pessary they'd given me I shit all over her (I felt SO bad for her!) but she just cleaned me up and was really professional about it.

So, 10 hours after she was born I finally got to meet Dashi properly. I really cant remember if I held her that night, I think I did, I remember her being placed on me attached to all the wires and things.

The kids came to NICU to meet Dashi while she was still in the incubator, it was all very overwhelming for them. My bestie also snuck herself in by telling the nurses she was my wife and the other mum!

The next couple of days Dashi was kept in NICU because the meconium had caused an infection in her lungs and then the machines they'd had to use to get her to breath caused a hole in her lung to develop.

I walked 19000 steps the first day taking breastmilk to the NICU ward. The only thing I could do was provide milk so I was going to do it SO DAMN WELL. I asked a nurse for something to collect colostrum and she handed us a 5ml syringe....I was like, either give me 10 of these or something bigger XD

Eventually after a few days she was well enough to come out of the incubator and into the mum/baby special care ward with me. Being able to dress her and feed her was amazing. I was really missing home though.

We went home on Sunday, so 6 days in hospital all together. Hizashi Jasmine.

[celestialpotat0]

Rest in peace, dear Aunt Helene

If i had to describe today in only one word, the word would be brutal.

this past week ive been a mess... i had a doctor appt scheduled on my day off, i was sitting in the waiting room crying mainly about my aunt, then when i went in to see the physician i told myself i was going to hold the tears in. they did an ekg on me, i was relieved that i was allowed to just lay there instead of converse, because it gave me an excuse to close my eyes and tell myself to not to cry. when the md came in and asked me about me being upset because staff members had witnessed me crying in the waiting room, at first i told her it was nothing, i was ok. but she pressed on, and the tears came spilling out. it was embarrassing, i felt pathetic for being emotionally weak.

that night, i tried sleeping but i lay awake in bed for most of the night, stressing about my aunt. and i ended up getting only 1 hr of sleep before i had to wake up for work. the next night i couldnt sleep for a long time again.

i flew home saturday, spent most of saturday and sunday in the hospital with my aunt.

today, i held onto her hand and caressed it, standing by her side during her final moments. it was heart-wrenching to monitor her HR, SpO2, and RR when we removed life support, i.e., extubated. at first she was super tachycardic and super tachypneic... for the next three hours she continued to breathe on her own. her vitals were all over the place. body fighting to survive. watched her become super bradycardic, SpO2 drop and drop and drop, eventually she took her last breath, asystole, HR 0, RR 0.

i believe she was able to peacefully and comfortably go. yes, the body is under stress so the vitals and numbers look alarming af. but i think she wasn't in pain or discomfort. and this is what she wouldve wanted rather than prolonging her life in a way that she didn't want. i described her final hours purely just to say that death in general is so brutal, which is to say that life is so damn precious.

i'm going to miss her. it's so sad that she had the infections. so many memories. she worked so hard throughout her life, was a strong mother, experienced difficult times. i cant believe i wont be able to see her smile again. it hurts. how irreversible death is. but this shit happened and the only way to move forward and heal is for me to become a better person bc of this. Life is short and I'm going to hold my loved ones closer and try to treat them better. This gave me a different perspective where a lot of my previous complaints are so trivial now, and why am i complaining when im alive and not fighting to stay alive. i also just care so little now about things that i used to waste my time on, like social media and clickbait articles.

I also lost my Uncle Eddie and Aunt Helene's husband recently. I hadnt seen either of them since before covid. I wanted to write about those two different events too but i just never got a chance to due to time constraints.

thank you to my friends who moved around times to hang out with me yesterday and today due to me having to be in the hospital. thank you to all the health care workers working on their weekend. to the compassionate angels that are nurses. thank you to people (including my PCP) who listened to me and supported me.

leaving on a trip today and will not have wifi or phone service for this week. part of me is anxious about the fact that my emails will pile up impossibly high and i wont be able to respond to people who email me. but what this experience with Aunt Helene has taught me is that there are certain things that truly matter, and getting anxious about work is just a waste of this precious life ive been gifted.

ive also been nodding off repeatedly throughout writing this so this post very well might not make sense. i have to be up in about 5 hrs and am extremely exhausted from barely sleeping this past week. but i really had to write in here before i went to sleep.

[wishingonshootingstarsx]

I found my dad last night on the ground

I heard the door creak from upstairs

and then the dog began to bark

I was worried it was a burglar or someone there to do us harm

I yelled for my mom and went downstairs

the front door was open--it’s never open

but I couldn’t see anything outside.

My dad was not in his chair

he was not on the couch

he was not there

My mothers phone rang

a call from two good sameritans who had my father 

he was right outside.

he was on the ground

laying there

face down

not moving

under a blanket from the woman’s car

his left shoe was off of his foot

there was a smashed bottle of kettle one vodka

and blood

so much blood.

He was slurring 

they said he couldnt get up

they called an ambulance

the EMTs rolled him over

i put on his left shoe

and tried not to look at his bloodied face

they put him on a stretcher

he asked for the blanket back

they put him in the ambulance and I had to give them his information

First name. Last name. spelled out--not spoken, because no one ever gets it right. 

I rattled off the names of his medications. 

The antidepressant he told me he stopped taking cold turkey

The diazepam that’s only as needed for anxiety but I didn’t know if he took it today

The antibiotic that is supposed to clear up what we thought was prostate cancer but hopefully isn’t

and the diabetes medicine I don’t know the name of. 

I saw my breath in the cold with each word and felt the goose flesh pebble my legs

The EMTs asked me if I wanted to ride along 

but my mom can’t drive

and I was in shorts and I didn’t have my phone to call Max

I wanted to run back inside but I didn’t want them to waste time not treating him.

So I let them go. 

I made sure to be gracious. to thank the EMTs for helping him

On Christmas night

I did not want them to see him as a drunk. 

I wanted them to know that he mattered to me before they drove away.

After I hopped out of the ambulance, I allowed myself one minute to cry

then I sucked  

In the hospital they told us they didn’t know how long he was out in the cold, laying on the ground, in a puddle of vodka and his own blood

 but his temperature was dangerously low

I could see his eye then--starting to swell and bruise 

smaller cuts nicked his arms and hands.

The xrays were good but the CT was worrisome

He had a subdural hematoma--blood in his brain

I told him earlier that night that my worst fear was that he’d crack his head open and die

Now he did 

but drunks have nine lives

"There are no more excuses. I can’t think of any. I’m sorry I’m not the perfect father. I have a disease. I am going to go to this rehab in January. I just need to keep all of the balls in the air. You don’t understand. I’m okay. I’m sorry.”

When we took him home the next day, he was so weak he couldn’t make it up the stairs. He shook and vomited and slept. 

then he woke up the next day

put a hat over his nine face stitches and black eye

and pretended like 

it 

was

 all 

okay

I guess he found more excuses 

[theveryfires]

a glimpse of us | steve harrington x reader

summary: they are each others replacements, tripping over words and falling in love with a ghost of the one they actually want, ouchie.

a/n: hi lovelies, so this is sort of the third part to the 'seperate ways' sort of series (which is very much a reader x eddie munson series if you haven't seen it!) this is mainly focusing on the relationship with steve, but if you aren't into it a new part involving the main man, mr eddie munson will be up soon. thank you so much for the love, hope you enjoy!

“So, you and Harrington?” Y/n felt like she couldn’t breathe. The air suddenly evaporating from her lungs as she stared at Eddie, not quite believing that now, now he was jealous? He had some nerve, after the whole not talking to one another for a whole year. There wasn’t anything between her and Steve…right? 

Of course she had known of him in high school, but they didn’t exactly run in the same circles to ever truly cross paths. That is until she started babysitting Dustin Henderson for extra cash on the weekends, and because their mums were friends. Steve had been fine, slowly getting nicer and less static around her as their time together increased. He didn’t know what it was about the girl, she wasn’t exactly his usual type, at least back then. When they first met she was still very much in the grip of being Eddie Munson’s look alike. She had answered the door, the plastered on bored expression that he usually saw her with at school suddenly wiped clean as she gawked up at him. Without turning around she had yelled into the house, forcing a weak smile as they waited for the boy to appear. “Dusty! You’ve got The Hair at the door, he’s got…flowers?” Steve had rolled his eyes at the nickname, huffing as he was once again waiting on the kid.

 When he had finally got back into the safety of his car he had asked Dustin “Why didn’t you tell me Munson’s double was your sister dude?” That had wrenched a laugh from Henderson, already buckled up and ready to go as he waved goodbye to Y/n in the doorway. “She isn’t my sister Steve, she’s my actual babysitter. Yknow they type that cooks me dinner, we clean up and listen to her records, we watch star wars, she even plays DnD every now and again. And you…well you occasionally beat up a demo dog and give me lame advice for hitting on the ladies.” Y/n had watched the pair bickering from her place in the doorway, offering a final wave goodbye before going back in to clean up. 

They started getting closer after Steve had shown up for work one day to find Y/n dressed in the Scoops uniform, being shown by their jackass of a manager the correct way to greet customers whilst Robin giggled from the back. “Are you stalking me or something?” Y/n had rolled her eyes again, faking a smile whilst focusing on pretending that one of her passions in life was customer service. “Oh yeah, i love you Steve oh baby oh baby that’s why i signed up to shovel ice cream for nine hours a day and be paid below minimum wage for the simple pleasure of watching you.” It took a minute for Steve to realise she was joking, around the second ‘oh baby’ he caught onto the joke. Robin couldnt believe her luck, now there was two of them to watch Steve humiliate himself in his attempts to get a girlfriend. She didn’t miss the fond smile growing on Steve’s face when Syd dropped the act and told the truth. “Dusty can look after himself now so his mum only needs me on the weekends when she’s at her craft fairs…Robin told me Scoops were hiring, I’m in desperate need for cash, so here I am Harrington.” 

After the disaster at the mall, escaping the Russians and surviving the next monster that had managed to creep into their world, Steve had driven Y/n home. Her parents had been away, as they always seemed to be nowadays so there was nobody to take her home after being checked over at the hospital. The drive had been silent, the radio felt too loud, talking felt strange as they drove through the ignorant streets of Hawkins. Steve had taken the long way home, hoping the drive would calm her down but it was during the quiet that he realised she was going to have to spend the night, or however long until her parents got home, all alone. 

“So, you fought that thing before?” Y/n’s voice had been soft when she spoke, suddenly reduced to a kid again as she sat in Steve Harrington’s car and watched the world go by. Only that world wasn’t one she knew anymore, it was stranger, alien now in the face of seeing the unknown.  “That uh..thing is new, usually its just uh…well the kids call them demogorgons. The Upside Down is what took Will when he went missing two years ago, somethings always happened since.” Y/n could feel the heavy weight on Steve’s shoulders as he spoke, the fear that he was hiding from everyone leaking out in his words as he tried to focus on the dark road ahead. 

“Like in DnD?” That had caught his attention, a nice distraction away from the hell that just wouldn’t let those kids of his live. “Don’t tell me you play DnD, i was just starting to think you were cool.” He was joking, but when he caught sight of the sad smile that had taken over from the previous shock sent a gang through his chest. “I am joking. Dustin mentioned you helped him write a few, uh what are they called..campaigns? I just, i didn’t know you actually played.” Y/n had nodded, her heart hammering in her chest as a decades worth of memories flooded her thoughts. Holed up in a bedroom, records blaring as they all had sat in a circle, hours wasted in the darkness, whole summers dedicated to it. “Me and Eddie used to play all the time, he got me into it back in middle school.” Steve had nodded, all too aware of the recent break down of their friendship. In some ways she had seemed over it, but then again who was he to know anything about being over someone. 

“Still not talking?” Tears had crowded her eyes, slowly dripping down her cheeks, working their way under the bandage on her jaw and stinging the still weeping wound. They had reached her house but Y/n didn’t move, stuck to her seat as she cried to the ex king of Hawkins High about the stupid argument, started over nothing but jealousy. Steve had awkwardly comforted her, definitely not wanting to leave her alone when she winced at the cut on her jaw. His own body was aching, face still very much swollen from the beating he had taken from the soldiers. “I can stay the night if you want…i’ll sleep on the couch? Just so you aren’t…” Y/n had nodded slowly, smiling through her tears as she laughed at the entire ridiculous situation. “You’re a good person Steve, yknow that right?” 

Soon enough Y/n’s house became yet another stop on Steve’s morning pick up run. How he had ended up being Robin, Dustin and Y/n’s ride to school was a mystery to him, but he had to admit he loved it. His favourite part being just before they got to the parking lot, all four of them crammed in his shitty car, music being combined with whatever bickering was going on that morning. A close second being the quiet journey back after school was done, Y/n was the last stop so she would trade person with Robin in the front seat after her house. Steve couldnt believe it when she started singing along to ‘Girls on Film.’ She had just started traded in her old heavy metal rocker chick look for a toned down natural indie version, when she had got in the car that morning Steve almost hadn’t recognised her. Usually fighting to even see her eyes beneath the thick eyeliner, now they were so clearly there, bright and hazel in the early morning. “What? Have i got toothpaste on my face again?” She had asked, wiping at her face and looking in the wing mirror desperately trying to find the smudge of white. Steve had shook his head, running a hand through his famous hair before starting the car again. “No, no its just uh…i can see your eyes.” Y/n had thought about it all day, that one silly comment managing to distract her as she dreamily walked through the corridors. On the drive home she hadn’t even realised she was singing along to the radio until Steve had pointed it out. “It is possible for someone to listen to more than one genre of music yknow Harrington.” Y/n had brushed it off, but it had sent Steve down the rabbit whole. She wasn’t the person he thought she was, and it was making him trip over his words the more he got to know her. 

They spent evening at each others houses, binge watching various tv shows and movies in an almost vegetive state, sprawled out on sofas with their legs dangling in the air. Steve had watched in awe as she recited every line from the Breakfast Club under bated breathe, her eyes glued to the screen and not even really aware she was doing it. Y/n had laughed uncontrollably when he performed the first scene of Risky Business, not quite as suave as Tom Cruise when he crashed to the floor after sliding across it in his socks. Steve would take them on car rides, just wanting to get out the house and away from Hawkins. They would play each others music, park at the top of hills and lay on the grass. Steve had gawked when Y/n pulled out a pack of Marlboro Lights, not quite believing it before stealing a ciggie from her and grinning when she gasped. “Me and Eddie used to just sit by the lake, in the back of his van smoking and listening to whatever band he had found that week that could be turned up loud.” Y/n had confessed to Steve, waiting patiently for a story in return. “My first pack was stolen from my dad’s coat pocket. Lets just say it wasn’t pretty when i got back home.” His favourite day was when they had a sleepover at Y/n’s with Robin, breaking into her parents alcohol cabinet and spending the evening drinking expensive wine. Steve had watched through bleary eyes as Robin and Y/n danced, all arms and legs, yelling at the top of their lungs along with Madonna. The next morning, when Steve awoke with a pounding headache to the smell of breakfast he had found Syd humming along to herself, wearing one of his jumpers that he had left behind on various occasions. “Morning, material girl.” She had jumped, turning to face him, still donning the makeup from the night before and a weary look. “Shut it, Cruise.” 

After they got their jobs at Family Video, Steve couldn’t help feeling something towards Y/n. Robin had pointed it out to him one day when she caught him watching her joking around with Dustin and Lucas as she helped them pick out a horror movie. He had a goofy and terribly cliche lovesick grin on his face, head in one hand as he leaned against the counter and lazily watched her laughing, the sound strangely familiar. “Don’t do it dingus.” Robin raised an eyebrow when he had jumped, sheepishly looking around and trying to pretend his hadn’t been staring at Y/n. “Do what?” He coughed, acting ‘casual’ before moving away from her, moving to the other side of the store to put the returned videos back. But Robin had followed, persistent as always as she whisper yelled to him. “Yknow what I’m talking about Steve. Y/n’s a nice girl, lovely even but it isn’t right. She’s clearly still in love with a certain metalhead weirdo and you…” Robin trailed off when Steve turned abruptly, hurt puppy dog eyes glaring down at her. “Im not still in love with Nancy, that was…its..its basically ancient history and she’s with Byers.” Robin had rolled her eyes, shoving Steve lightly when she realised Y/n was walking towards them. “You will hurt each other, s’all I’m saying.” 

He had hated that Robin was right, it had kept him up at night as he willed the silly feeling away. Y/n hadn’t talked to or even seen Eddie for nearly six months, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t hung up on him. He had seen the way her face dropped when Dustin mentioned him, watched the way she stammered over an excuse of why she couldnt be a sub to his DnD campaign despite clearly wanting to go. Steve had saved the day, saying they were going to the cinema that night with Robin (he had to include Robin in the scheme, or else Dustin would tease him further about crushing on his babysitter.) 

But sometimes neither of them could help the harmless flirting. Occasionally they had days when it was just the two of them at Family Video. It was always quiet, there was never exactly a mad rush of customers. Y/n had been reading the newest edition of Vogue, something she and Robin indulged in as a guilty pleasure. Usually pouring over the glossy pages in the back of his car on the morning school run, rubbing the fancy perfume samples on their arms wrists desperately before jumping out Steve’s car and rushing into school together. Steve had come to stand beside her, his attention on her lips as she wordlessly read an article on whatever fashion trend was hot and fresh that week. She was chewing watermelon bubble gum, and had smiled gently up at him when she noticed his staring. “Hi.” Y/n had felt herself getting nervous around him, felt a need for his attention that neither of them wanted to admit to. “Hey.” Steve had felt it too, his snarky comments suddenly turning into questions about her weekend, what movie she had obsessed over that week, what book she was reading. Desperate to find these pieces of her life and hold onto them. The bell had dinged, a customer had actually walked in (not that Steve or Y/n noticed.) “I was wondering if you wanted to uh…if you could stay over again tonight? My parents are out and well…i just.” After the mall Y/n had found it impossible to sleep alone. Usually she had Robin to sleepover but that night was would be busy with band practice or she would even stay at the Henderson’s, coaxing Dustin in with a pizza and a free movie night, whatever he wanted as long as she could crash on his couch. But was busy that night too with some major campaign ending at Hellfire. Steve had agreed before she finished speaking, nodding his head in a way that made his hair flop onto his forehead. “Movie night? We could watch Ferris Bueller again? Breakfast Club?” Y/n had grinned, ignoring the pounding of her heart as it hammered in her chest. “My favourites! We can get pizza? I’ll even treat you to a meat feast one...if you’re lucky.” Steve couldnt help but laugh when she wiggled her eyebrows, winking up at him. Behind her jam jar glasses Y/n’s eyes had sparkled. She felt like herself again, or at least somewhat close to the person she used to be. Back then she had thought there was no one else in the world that would make her feel that way but Eddie. And yet now she had Steve and Robin, two people she never dreamed would even look her away never mind talk to. “It’s a date.” Rough hands had pushed a stray curl back behind her ear, the hand lingering on the scar that cut across her jaw, making Steve’s gentle smile falter slightly. But Y/n had held his hand, their fingers intertwining. “It’s just a bad memory now Stevie.” 

Y/n was well aware she had hesitated too long for Eddie’s liking. Feeling his eyes burning into her. But there was no right answer. There was maybe more then just something there, but it was never going to happen. Robin had been right, they would only hurt each other, had done it after one too many at some party weeks before.

“I can’t be your Nancy, Steve. I’m not…Im just not like that.” Y/n’s words had muddled together after Steve had leaned towards her. They had been stood outside, escaping the crowded party full of people that felt more like strangers when it had happened. A too long stare and pent up frustration leading to Steve leaning down, his hands holding her face so gently, thumb caressing scar tissue, eyes desperate for her to want it. Their lips had brushed together momentarily and for a moment Y/n had considered just letting whatever was going to happen, happen. But she liked him too much, loved him too much to let that happen and for them to hate each other for it after. “What? You… i know you aren’t Nancy, i dont want you to be her.” Steve was hurt, her hand on his shoulder almost painful against him as he desperately looked in her eyes. “You do…You dont know it yet but you do. Thats why all those girls aren’t right, why you cant find the ‘one.’ I’d be lying if i wasn’t doing the same Steve and i care about you too much to let us be each others replacements.” Y/n had started crying, voice breaking and subsequently breaking his heart as Steve pulled her in for a hug. It hurt, everything hurt. But he knew she was right despite the alcoholic haze that was far too quickly washing everything away. “I wish i could love you Steve.” He had nodded against her, squeezing her tightly against her and damning Robin for always being right. “I wish i could love you too.” 

taglist: @bambi-laufeyson (extra little thank you queen! I hope you enjoy)

[tendouluvr]

not telling them you’re pregnant - f!reader

- fluff, sliiiight angst maybe

- characters: suna, sakusa, semi

- warnings: pregnancy (i don’t go into detail of giving birth or anything), cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, two mention of the act of sex in semi’s, some cursing

- wc: 1.4k, 888, 946

a/n: it’s f!reader cuz pregnancy but there’s no specific pronouns/gendered terms used

also idk how suna got so long, he was the last one i wrote for bc i couldnt think of anything lmao

[2. iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama]

SUNA

#! suna has been practicing late into the night the past few weeks

#! there’s a big game coming up and the entire team is feeling the pressure and adrenaline from the crunch time

#! you haven’t been feeling too good lately, a lot heavier and more tired than usual

#! thinking it was just stress from work and the missing presence of your boyfriend, you pushed through it and thought it would go away in the next few days

#! unfortunately, luck wasn’t on your side and you started to get sudden needs to throw up

#! it didn’t take you long to realize why your physical and mental drive have been down lately

#! you’re pregnant

#! or you believe you are

#! you bought a few tests, some of different brands so you can have a variety, and headed home to confirm your suspicion

#! a few minutes later, staring back at you was multiple positive symbols and the bolded ‘PREGNANT’s

#! taking a few deep breaths, you decided to tell suna tonight once he comes home

#! you thought it was better to let him know as soon as possible

#! it wouldn’t hurt anyone plus the faster you rip the bandaid off, the easier it’ll be to deal with it

#! so you waited

#! and waited

#! until 11pm that night, when suna finally came through the front door

#! “tarō! how was practice? can we talk?” you hurriedly greeted him

#! he was taken aback, not expecting you to be right beside him and in his ear as soon as he came in

#! of course you weren’t, you made sure to put some space in between you and him

#! but suna was stressed and tired, so everything is intensified to him at the moment

#! “can you back up?” he mumbled, pushing his way from in front of you to walk to the kitchen

#! “oh, sorry. can we talk?” you sheepishly smiled, hoping he would say yes

#! you’re not blind, you can tell that suna was tired but you really didn’t wanna put this off

#! you were just gonna tell him, he gets surprised, you both talk it out, and then go to bed and continue figuring things out tomorrow morning

#! but before any of that can happen, suna bluntly told you, “no. i’m tired. i’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal. can it be tomorrow? i wanna sleep.”

#! you didn’t get to answer before he was already walking away to the bedroom

#! understanding where he was coming from, you mentally agreed to talk to him tomorrow. one day wouldn’t change anything and you’ve seen plenty of people not tell their partners until a few weeks in

#! he was right, it wasn’t a big deal (yet)

#! so you waited until tomorrow

#! and waited

#! and once again, he came home late

#! “hey! can we quickly talk, babe?”

#! “i’m tired. tomorrow, okay?”

#! “oh, okay. night, rin!”

#! “g’night.”

#! night came and there was still no talk

#! this continued on for about 2 weeks, you finally choosing to not care anymore and just let him find out whenever he finds out

#! technically, you could’ve just blurted out a simple, “i’m pregnant.��� any point during your nightly five seconds conversations

#! but seeing that he really was tired, springing it onto him would either put him in a full body shock for three days or he just doesn’t fully process your words until three days after

#! a month has passed, your stomach was still barely showing like most women at their one month mark

#! you decided to book an appointment for a checkup, it’ll be while suna’s at practice

#! and that doctor appointment was the exact reason suna found out

#! he was at practice when komori entered the gym

#! he had a doctor’s appointment for his annual checkup, and that’s where he saw you

#! you didn’t see komori, busy reading the directory to find your way to the right office

#! but he saw you on the way out. seeing that you looked a bit busy, he chose not to greet you and just quickly walk to his car lmao why is this funny to me

#! entering the gym, he greeted everyone and apologized for his tardiness even though it was excused

#! walking up to suna, he tapped him on the shoulder and quietly told him, “i saw yn at the hospital earlier. it’s been awhile since we all got together huh, they looked a bit different.”

#! ok so komori, being the smart person he is, deducted that you were pregnant when he saw your finger pointing at the ob/gyn office

#! and he genuinely thought suna knew so his comment was suppose to be a small joke that was meant to tease suna and his sex life

#! suna, however, was confused

#! look different? did you get surgery?

#! “what do you mean?”

#! komori rolled his eyes and gave a sweet smile at suna, “congrats you two! when were you gonna tell the rest of us?”

#! suna: 👨‍🦲 huh

#! “are you guys not pregnant?” he blinked at suna’s frozen reaction

#! suna became unresponsive so komori just walked away mumbling to himself about being sure he read the sign right

#! a loud whistle blew and it shook suna out of his daze, everyone got ready to play a practice game of 3 vs 3 while suna ran over to the coach

#! “hey coach, um i think there’s an emergency at home. can i go? ok thanks.”

#! his coach just stares after him as he sprints off, you think? is there an emergency or not?

#! suna quickly drove home, he may or may not have speed a little, and entered the apartment

#! “yn? baby?” he called out only to be greeted back with silence

#! probably still at the hospital....what were you doing there? he thought to himself while rummaging around the house to find anything that could give him somewhat of an idea

#! he was digging around in the bedroom when you came home, his head so frenzied he didn’t hear the front door open

#! but you heard the ruckus from the bedroom and immediately went into fight or flight

#! panicking, you took out your phone to call suna while quietly opening the front door to make your way back out before the intruder catches you

#! the phone rang and rang until it was picked up. “suna?” you whisper-yelled into the speaker. you had a habit of calling him by his last name when you were freaking out. he noticed and was equally alarmed

#! “what’s wrong?” he whispered back just as panicked

#! “there’s someone in our apartment. can you come home?”

#! “huh? oh, are you home?” he cackles into the phone speaker making you move the phone away from your ear, “it’s me, sweets, c’mere.”

#! you warily walked on your tiptoes over to your bedroom, peeking your head in and what a surprise, it is suna

#! “jackass! why are you home?!”

#! “why didn’t you tell me?” he cut straight to the point

#! “huh?”

#! “you’re pregnant. when were you gonna tell me?” his voice sounding stern, but the quiet smile dancing on his face tells a different story

#! “i tried.”

#! “huh? what do you mean?”

#! “all those times i asked if we could talk. i was trying to tell you.”

#! his heart dropped, eyebrows furrowing, while he stared you down

#! suna became unresponsive once again, standing there trying to think back to the first time you asked him

#! two weeks ago

#! “i’m sorry,” he quietly whispers

#! “hm? i..it’s fine....i was a bit sad, but i’m over it. at least you know now,” you casually shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal

#! “no. i shouldn’t have pushed you aside like that. even if you weren’t pregnant, even if you had just wanted to tell me about some stupid video you saw that day, i shouldn’t have told you off. i’m sorry, i love you a lot and you deserve so much better.”

#! “tarō, shut up. i accept your apology and i forgive you, now make it up to me by giving me a back massage while i show you the ultrasound pictures!”

#! he kisses you before lifting you up bridal style making his way to the bed

SAKUSA

#! contrary to popular beliefs, sakusa is not an obsessive germaphobe who finds everything disgusting but you

#! he wouldn’t be playing volleyball if he was that afraid of germs,,,,,

#! yes, he cringes if random little kids grab onto him after games because 1) he’s drenched in sweat and that feeling is not fun

#! 2) he doesn’t even know themmm

#! and 3) he wanna go home

#! but sakusa loves you and if you happened to get pregnant, he would love your kid(s) just the same

#! however, he never told you this. he never really had a reason to voice this out loud

#! so when you actually did get pregnant, you were confused

#! the only interactions between sakusa and kids you’ve seen multiple times were the moments between him and his fans

#! you guys have been to family parties and his nieces, nephews, and cousins looooves him

#! maybe it’s the fact that he’s a tall looming giant and they just want to climb

#! but besides those moments, you don’t recall him ever telling you upfront that he wants children of his own

#! and the constant stress and pressure he always seem to be working around also doesn’t help reassure you in any way

#! being an athlete for a living means always watching your body, health, and looks for the cameras (but omi could care less about the last thing)

#! he also has to make sure whether or not he’s working well with his teammates, practice and improve on anything he’s having problems with, and deal with atsumu’s dramatic ass

#! you’re an overthinker and because of that, all of these reasons were just reasons for you to postpone the pregnancy news to your long term boyfriend

#! it wasn’t too hard anyway, considering practice runs late sometimes and he’s busy majority of the time doing other stuff

#! when you guys do have alone time together, you both are so focused on one another that you actually forget that you’re pregnant and you never told him

#! you’re about to hit the three months mark now — time goes by fast — and sakusa has noticed you and your body changing

#! at first he just thought you were going through a phase of cravings and a bit of bloating, so he didn’t mention it and just let you be

#! he never got to witness you getting morning sickness because he goes on early runs or he was just out doing morning errands so he wouldn’t have to deal with it later that day

#! so when he caught you in the kitchen cutting up a lemon, the last thing he was expecting you to do was bring the lemon directly up to your mouth

#! “uh, what are you doing?” his deep voice caught you off guard, effectively stopping the hand that was holding the lemon

#! you just stare at him, not wide-eyed, not surprised, just stare

#! “eating a lemon.”

#! “i can see that.... why exactly?”

#! “dunno, the baby i guess.” you casually shrugged it off before popping the lemon slice into your mouth

#! “ah-,” he opened his mouth to stop you from eating the lemon, your words not fully processing in his mind, but cut off midway and froze when he finally realized

#! hearing him pause like that made you suddenly remembered that you never told him you were pregnant

#! you slowly turned back to look at him, mouth still slowly chewing the lemon slices

#! a moment of silence later, he unfreezes and just starts stiffly walking towards you

#! he grabbed you by the shoulders, made you look him in the eyes, before whispering, “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “y-yes..”

#! his eyes were wide, black pupils expanding as he stared you down, his lips slowly curving into a small smile

#! “you’re pregnant....,” he whispers, mainly to himself, hugging your head into his chest

#! “mhm, get off me i’m trying to eat,” you gently pushed him off but he wouldn’t budge

#! “omiiii please, if you get off i’ll give you a slice,” you tried bribing him. he couldn’t tell if you were being serious or just teasing

#! “no.”

#! “um ok, two slices?”

#! “no.”

#! “omi!”

#! he giggles before opening his arms to let you go

#! “why didn’t you tell me?”

#! you didn’t reply right away, making him start to overthink

#! did you not want the baby? or did you not want a kid with him? did you not want to be with him anymore? or was it not his?!

#! he childishly shakes his head side to side at the last question. he knew you wouldn’t do that

#! but you were still silent, making him nervously glance at you from the side

#! “sorry, piece of lemon stuck in my teeth. i just forgot to tell you,” the words easily flowing out of your mouth nonchalantly

#! sakusa’s fingers were literally about to start twitching from anxiousness beside you

#! a sigh of relief was heard from him and you turned to look at him

#! “you okay?”

#! he doesn’t answer, just gives you a smile and goes back to hugging you from behind

SEMI

#! you were currently sitting on the couch in your shared apartment waiting for semi to come home

#! he’s been on tour for a few months now, you both kept in touch by facetiming, texting, calling, and any other methods of virtual communication

#! you would tune into the live recording of all of his performances when you had time so you could watch him

#! a few weeks into tour, you suddenly felt different than usual but shook it off as nothing and probably just you missing your boyfriend

#! you believed that until one morning you were woken up by the sudden urge to throw up, dashing to the restroom as fast as your drowsy body can go

#! it was then that you realized you might be pregnant

#! the night before semi left, you both had sex to enjoy your last few hours together before he had to leave for a few months

#! with the new realization, you quickly dressed yourself to make a short trip to the store to pick up some tests

#! after half an hour of looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to wrap your head around this, you finally opened the first box

#! a few minutes later, all 5 tests were lined up on the bathroom counter showing positive

#! you stared at the tests, trying to make sure you weren’t reading it wrong

#! once you began to understand the responsibility of being pregnant a few hours later, you made a mental note to go out and buy some food for yourself the next day

#! you decided to sleep off the rest of that day

#! through all of the facetime calls with semi, you never once told him you were pregnant

#! you knew that if you told him he would freak out and either demand to go back home, or stay but all of his attention would be on you being pregnant alone at home for the rest of the tour

#! so here you are now, sitting with a 4 1/2 months baby bump waiting for your beloved to come home

#! it was around 6pm when the front door opened, sounds of shuffling bags and heavy steps could be heard from the musician

#! he cursed under his breath when he almost tripped over a duffle bag with some of his loungewear, calling out for you as he walks further into the apartment, “baby? i’m home!”

#! he was about to speak up again when he saw you asleep on the couch

#! bouncing his way over, he got onto his knees at the edge of the couch to observe your face. god i miss you, he thought to himself

#! he gently shakes you awake, you jolted in surprise not knowing you fell asleep in the first place

#! “hmm- what?,” soft murmurs falling from your lips as you adjusted your eyes at your surrounding

#! “eita!” he grinned at you, both of you pulling each other into a hug

#! “fuck, i miss you so much.” he whispered into your ears before placing his face into your neck

#! “i miss you more.” you tightened your grip around him making him move up on the couch to get more comfortable

#! you both moved around until he had you cradled in between him, your back against his chest

#! his hands going under your his shirt to caress you there when his movements stopped right on top of your stomach

#! it was silent as his warm hands rubbed your stomach in circles, the gears turning in his head

#! “are you- you feel- why’s your tum so round and hard?” he quizzically asked, still rubbing your stomach

#! “pregnant.” your voice a low whisper, he almost didn’t catch it

#! “what?”

#! “pregnant.” you repeated, a bit louder this time

#! “huh?”

#! “pregnant!” you sighed, moving his hand so you can get off of him

#! he grabs your wrist to stop you from walking away and turns you to look at him

#! “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “i just said that. yes.”

#! you knew you sounded blunt and a bit mean, it wasn’t his fault he doesn’t know at all, but your hormones have been making you crankier and it’s out of your control

#! “sorry. yes, i’m pregnant.”

#! his eyes continuously darts up and down from your eyes to your bump

#! “how long?”

#! “since you left.”

#! “was it the night before?” he was referring to your act of intimacy the night before he left

#! “yea.”

#! “wow. why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “because.”

#! “‘cuz what?”

#! “because i know you. you would either stop touring and come home, or stay but lose focus. i was just trying to not distract you because i know how important your career is to you. and because i thought that you’ll be having a six months break after this tour before your next comeback, i would tell you when you came home. i’m sorry if you’re ma-,”

#! “i’m not mad. oh don’t cry, babe, look at me.”he carefully cups your face, “it’s okay, it’s okay. i get why you kept it from me. and now that i have no schedule for the next six months, i can be there for you until the end of your pregnancy and the beginning of our baby’s life alright?”

#! you weakly nodded against his palms, and he brings you back down to lay your head on his chest as you both softly talk about the past months without each other

[i-cant-sing]

Hey I have a yandere erasermic obsession. I don’t know if you do angst but what if they were punishing reader and she gets really exhausted and passes out. They think they killed her, I know this is dumb and you don’t have to do it if it makes you uncomfortable-🍓 anon

Yandere Erasermic punishing reader

I've missed these two a lot😭

Anyways, enjoy! Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Erasermic:

"Hey! I'm home! How are my darlings- Shou? You okay?" Hizashi asked as he entered his home. He was looking forward to spending time with you and the hero, but judging by the pissed off look on Aizawa's face, it didn't seem like happening.

Aizawa was taking deep breaths, his eyebrows furrowed and face contorted into a scowl. God, what did you do now? Hizashi couldn't help but wonder that, as he slid onto the couch next to his husband.

"What did she do now?"Hizashi asked, resting his head on Aizawa's chest as his arms wrapped around him.

Aizawa closed his eyes in annoyance, his own arms engulfing Hizashi as he let out a huff. "She's so ungrateful."

Hizashi lightly chuckled at that, waiting for him to continue. "You know what she did today? She tried to escape. Again. I don't know how she got the code to unlock the main door, but she opened it. She barely made it 2 steps out the door before I pulled her back in. I was taking a shower and she thought she could make a run for it. " Aizawa runs a hand through his hair, but Hizashi suddenly caught it. He looked at his husband's hand, it was turning a nasty shade of purple, and was red around the knuckles, slightly swelled. "Shou, babe... what happened to your hand?"

Aizawa exhales deeply, closing his eyes, trying to control his anger. "Our sweet little darling happened. After I got her back in, I told her to apologise. You know what she did? She spit at me, screamed all kinds of profanities. When I took her down to the basement to chain her up, she tried attacking me." Aizawa clenched his jaw. "I was only going to leave her there for the night. But what she said to me next... Hizashi, I lost it. I punched her." Hizashi's eyes widened. He knew Aizawa wasn't one to lose his temper easily, he knew he wasn't one to resort to violence immediately. So the blonde could only wonder what in the hell did you say to him. "Shouta... what did she say?" He asked softly, almost afraid of the answer himself.

Shouta looked at his husband, trying to calm himself when he told him what you barked out. "She said...she said that she wondered how UA let... let creeps like us around kids." Hizashi's eyes widened. If there's one thing he knew about Aizawa, it was how deeply he cared about his students, treating them like his own children. He prided himself in being their teacher, and so the nerve of you to even say something so disgusting like that, Aizawa was bound to snap.

"I cant believe she'd say something...so horrible. I'm so sorry, Shou." Hizashi whispered, nuzzling Aizawa's neck. The pro hero only grunted. "Whatever. I think it'd be good if she stays down there... for 2 weeks. Yeah that'd be good. And no dinner tonight either. I don't want to put up with anymore of her bullshit." Hizashi only nodded, but then caught another look at his hand and he stood up, pulling Aizawa along with him to the kitchen. Hizashi pulled out a bag of frozen peas and started applying it on his bruise hand to reduce the swelling.

As the two ate dinner, Hizashi couldn't help but worry that if Shouta's hand looked like this from the punch, then what did the receiving end look like. He chose to remain quiet on that matter, not wanting you to ruin the night anymore.

The next morning when Aizawa woke up, he went downstairs to the kitchen to find his husband. Hizashi who was almost done plating up, greeted Aizawa with a kiss. "So, should I take this plate down to our baby bird?" Hizashi asked, already knowing Aizawa didn't want to see you yet. You had really hurt him. Shouta nodded as he took a sip of his coffee. "Be right back." Hizashi pressed a kiss to his lips before going to the basement.

Hizashi opened the door to the basement, walking down the stairs, hoping to see you greet him like the angel they know you are deep down. But when he got down there, he saw you were still asleep on the floor, your limbs still bound to the chains. Your face was turned away from him and Hizashi wasnt sure if he wanted to see the damage that was done to your face.

Hizashi just called for you. “Love, I’ve brought breakfast! Eggs and hashbrowns! Your favourite!” When you didnt respond, he just sighed before placing the plate on the floor. Your chains were long enough to for you to reach it, and while Hizashi wished nothing more than to feed you himself, he knew you needed to be punished.

As he went up the stairs and out of the basement, he couldnt help but feel a sense of dread creeping up on him.

“Do you think she’ll be sorry after her punishment?”Hizashi asked his partner.  Aizawa rolled his eyes. “Unlikely. But she’ll learn to think twice before she says stupid shit like that.” Hizashi chuckled, but secretly hoped that would be the case. He got up from the couch where he and Aizawa sat. “I’ll go get her plate.” They were done eating 2 hours ago, but still waited for you to finish up because they know how stubborn you are.

When Hizashi walked down the stairs, he wasn’t surprised to find your plate untouched. You would always do that the first few days, before finally succumbing to your hunger. Pointless, really. But what disturbed him was how you were still in the same position he had seen you in 2 hours ago. And it was coming to him how still you looked, he couldn't see your body moving a single muscle, he couldn't see if you were breathing. 

Hizashi walked towards you cautiously, waiting for you to jump up and scare the crap out of him. But his breath hitched when he finally saw what had happened to you. 

A big bruise had formed on your cheek, swelling and taking all the shades of the purple, blue and green. But the worst part was seeing the blood and a clear liquid dripping out of your nose slowly, forming a pool around your head.

He turned you on to your back and started shaking your shoulder. “Darling? Wake up, baby. Its me. Baby, wake up.” But your body remained unconscious. He started tapping your cheek, only then noticing you weren’t breathing. All the alarms went off in his head. “SHOUTA! COME DOWN OVER HERE!” 

Shouta rushed to the basement, wondering what stunt you pulled now. But seeing your limp body in Hizashi’s arms, blood coating your cheeks, he knew something terrible had occured. Aizawa ran towards his partners, looking at your bruising cheek. “She’s n-not breathing. She’s not fucking breathing, Shou!” Hizashi sobbed as Aizawa took your wrist in his hand. His blood ran cold when he found no pulse. “What are we gonna do?! She’s dead! Our baby is dead!” Shouta blocked out Hizashi’s voice. They both cant be panicking right now. Aizawa turned to his partner. “Hizashi. Bring her up. I’ll get the car out.” He commanded. “H-hospital? Shou, its too late-” Hizashi cried out but Aizawa gave him a stern look. “Bring her up. Now.” 

They got to the hospital in fairly record time, passing you over to the doctors while Aizawa made up a story of how they found you in an alley. Only after the doctors left them alone did it dawn on Aizawa how serious the situation was. He killed you, didnt he? You would still be alive if he hadnt hit you. How could he ever claim to love you when he hurts you-

Aizawa shook his head, he could wallow up in his guilt later. For now, he needed to comfort his husband and pray that you make it through somehow.

A few hours later, the doctors had given them an update on your condition. You made it, barely. Something had hit your face and damaged some part of your brain, causing there to be a very slow heart beat. But you're all okay now, since they brought you in time.

When they were allowed to finally go in, thats when Aizawa finally broke down. Seeing you unconscious, knowing he almost killed you, it got to him. Hizashi wanted to console Aizawa, but he couldn't bring himself to leave your side. Hizashi pressed soft kisses to your temples, wiping his tears that fell on your cheek, while Aizawa stood to your side. He wanted to hold your hand but he was afraid to hurt you again. As the duo sat by your side, they made a silent promise to never hurt you again, at least not physically.

After that incident, you'll never be left alone. The two are always breathing down your neck, drowning you in love, looking at you with even more fondness; obsession and protectiveness swirling in their eyes, right there with guilt.

Aizawa would never apologise, but that doesn't mean he's not sorry. You would often wake up to him looking at your bruised cheek with worry, caressing it so gently, as if he'd break you. He'll be a lot more demanding with physical affection, always wrapping his arms around you, forcing you onto his lap and tucking your face under his chin as he cards his fingers through your hair.

You didn't think Hizashi could be anymore overbearing, but you were proved wrong. He'd panic if you were out of his sight for more than 5 minutes. Always worrying, paranoia creeping up on him when you're not in the same room as him. And when he would finally find you (mostly in the bathroom), he'd check you all over for injuries, not trusting your assurances.

Punishments aren't violent anymore. They're humiliating. Pulling you in their laps and feeding you by hand, talking about you as if you're not there, making you take baths with them(not showers because they end too quickly), making you sleep with them, naked.

And the couple won't lie, but this form of punishment seems to be far more effective. With how quickly you turn docile, folding in on yourself as if you could hide from them... its cute.

But hey, its better than getting beat, right?

[soft-boi-eli]

Ok ok! Good uhm.

Ok since body dysmorphia has been kicking my butt lately i wanted to request something with Schlatt where basically the reader Starts getting really insecure because of their body. Pushing and pulling on their stomach etc. They also start binding unsafely with like really tight bras because they can't afford a binder and they end up fucking up their ribs really bad. They end up in the hospital and a very worried Schlatt visit's them and lectures them about how they shouldn't have done that and about how worried he was. So when they get back home there is a gift on the bed, turns out Schlatt bought them a binder.

The reader would be Non-binary and afab.

Also a little message for pretty much anyone who is insecure about their body/has body dysmorphia because of their chest, don't bind unsafely. That can really fuck up your chest and make you actually being happy with your body even harder.

Hell yes. I love this idea thank you icarus! Writing has been rude to me lately and I needed inspiration. This has hit it exactly.

Pronouns:nonbinary (dont think any were actually used in this so yeah.)

Tw: AFAB reader, swearing, insecurity, mention of surgry, mention of blood, mention of hating self, pain. Again angst to fluff. It is reflecting on how I have felt about my body before because I needed to make it seem kinda real.

PSA: please dont bind safely. It's dangerous and can lead to serious health consequences. I know hating your body sucks but I dont want anyone to get hurt because they dont listen to their lungs, they dont take off their binder, or if their bras are way too fucking tight. It can and will hurt you. So please bind safely!!

Happy birth-what the fuck?!

Lately your brain was giving you more dysphoria then ever. Telling you your body was too big, your boobs were too noticable, and you hips are too feminine.

What brought this on? Someone simply said your dead name. It made your dysphoria hit you like a truck.

After that day everything went down hill. Your stopped streaming, telling your followers that you were going on a mental break, you didn't really talk to friends, your brain could put words together. And you most importantly barely texted your loving supporting boyfriend schaltt, not wanting to break down in front of him.

You never had the time or thoughts of getting a chest binder. It was your biggest mistake honestly.

Deciding against chest binders and wearing alot of tight bras to flatten you. But it didnt work. So you got tighter bras. And they did work. But you didnt read up on how to bind safely.

This lead to the predicament now. In front of your mirror you were pinching and pulling at your skin. There was too much. All you wanted to do was cut it off with scissors. But decided against it due to the fact of all the blood that you would loose.

Your chest, smaller then it was yas, was still visible after your 3rd bra. You decided to add a 4th and tighter one hoping it would completely hide your boobs.

Your body made you want to puke. It made you feel disgusting. But you never told schaltt that. Afraid that he would say that you looked as gross as you thought you did.

Only 5 minutes after the 4th bra you felt excoriating pain in your ribs. And worse of all a harsh pop. That immediately brought red flags. It hurt to breath. Your head fuzzy and light headed.

Your only reaction, to call for an ambulance. Dialing the three numbers as you whimpered in pain you held onto your lungs. "911 what's your emergency?" "I cant breathe. It hurts so bad. Please help." "Are you by yourself?" "Yes. I need help please." "Ambulance, firemen, and police are on their way. Ambulance is 2 minutes out."

You didnt know if you had 2 minutes. "They can break the door down if I dont answer." That's all you said after collapsing.

Next thing you knew your door was busted off its hinges and you saw two paramedics. They were quick to transfer you to the ambulance, cutting through the four bras that held your chest.

It help get air to your lungs but it barely helped.

"We have a collapsed lung. ETA 2 minutes." The paramedic back there with you spoke to the walkie talkie.

Collapsed lung? Was that the harsh pop? God, was the bras that bad of an idea? All that was going through your mind was how you possibly could get worse. The instant you got into the trauma bay was way worse. With no time to numb you and your O2 stats dropping they had to cut between your ribs and shove a tube right next to your left lung. Draining air and excess blood blocking your lung from inflating. And before you knew it you were off to emergency surgery for getting a shard of bone out of your chest cavity.

The last thing you remember was counting down and falling asleep.

When you woke up your boyfriend was next to your bed, hands engulfing one of yours.

It looked like he had been crying before falling asleep on one of your legs. Taking your free hand through his hair you smiled lightly. "I'm sorry for all of this ram boy." He grunted lightly and moved his head back into your hand. His messy hair was thick and nearly matted. It made you wonder how long he's been sitting there. You loved him and felt so selfish for doing this to him.

"I cant believe I did all this and for what? To cause you and everyone pain? All because i couldnt afford a chest binder and deciding that I might as well try another way. I should have been safer huh?" You didnt expect an answer back. Just his quite snores.

"Yeah. Not really fuckin selfish more like kinda dumb. Your body doesnt show who the fuck you are (y/n). Your heart does. And your heart isnt say boy or girl. Its saying you are you. A person who uses pronouns they them. A person that love everyone and cares for their friends. A person who love me and jambo so deeply."

He took a breath.

"You normally are quite smart. Saving up for one would of been a better idea instead of doing such a stupid thing. Asking for my help. Because if I knew I would of helped. I would of found one just right for you. I would help you remember to take it off after 8 hours. Even would of found a way to make you feel more like you."

You could hear his heart break.

"But now you're here, four broken ribs, a healing lung, and stuck in the hospital for another week at least."

You felt so guilty. He was right. You should of told him. He would never have seen you like you saw yourself. He never cared about how you looked. He only cared for your heart.

Tears falling down your face you continued to massage his scalp. "I could of lost you. You are my rock. When I cant keep up my normal antics and feel like I'm at an all time low. You are there to pick me up." You had to stop the sob from coming up. "I'm just so happy youre alive." He looked up.

His red eyes were making your heart ache. "I wont do it again I promise. But I cant just ignore the feeling of dread whe. I look down and realize I present so much like a girl. I dont wa t to be one." Schaltt nodded and kissed the hand he was holding. "Then let me help you. I wont let this happen again. Just please. Come to me. Talk to me. I'm here like you are for me."

You gave a small nod.

This man knew his way to your heart. He was so sincere about this. "I will. But promise me you wont look down on me if I end up feeling like that." You just needed to make sure you knew he would never but you needed his words. "Mever sugarbabe. Never in my life have I looked down on you and never will."

God the week was long, him and the doctor explaining safe binding that you cant fully bind for at least 6-8 weeks. Schlatt telling you his reaction to finding your apartment swarmed with police and firemen and you no where to be seen.

He was practicing on saying happy birthday to you. But was cut off. "Happy birth-what the fuck?!" He was so concerned and even more so when you were in hospital.

When you did go home he helped you through the door, and watched you as you saw the small package on your couch.

Opening it you saw a chest binder. Specifically the one you were looking at. Looking over to schaltt with tears in your eyes you walked up and hugged him lightly minding the pain in your left side. This was the best gift.

The only gift you had been wanting for the past week or two. "Now you can be safe. But no binding till your doctor says so or I swear to god I will personally smite you down." You had to try so hard no to laugh or the pain would of been hell. Kissing his cheek you smiled.

"Of course schaltt. I will make sure to not wear it till I'm healed dont want to get blood on it ya know. Also it would hurt like a fucking bitch."

He chuckled and ruffled your hair. "Alright now go sit down. I'll get you some soup ya dork."

This was going to be a great time. That was until the pain fully came back. And then this is going to be a mediocre time.

Please pardon spelling errors. I havent proof read. And I am on mobile for almost all stories. But thank you so much for requesting this became something that I could write and it helped me alot. Now I might take a while for other things too and i apologize that's cause i am starting school soon. Also family issues. So yeah might take a bit. Dont know how long though. I'll try to keep them coming but if not you know I'm studying or helping my mom and grandma.

Eli out.

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: Negan becomes obsessed with his mistress.]

Smut

Negan and Malia

Negan lay beside you smoking his cigarette as you lay on his chest. The two of you had just finished having wild sex as you usually did. You loved when he came over but you always hated when he had to leave.

"When are you going to bring me to your house?"

"Malia. We've already had this conversation before." He took another hit of the cigarette before putting it out.

"I know but theres always some kind of excuse. We either come to my house or a hotel and we've been dating for six months." Negan sighed as he rubbed your back before you looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Any other man would've-"

"Dont fucking tell me what any other man would do with you cause you're not with any other damn man. You're with me."

Negan turned very serious, he hated even the mention of you being with someone else.

"Let me start going." He stood up leaving you naked in bed under the covers. You sighed as he went to the bathroom before hearing his phone buzz. Usually you wouldnt allow yourself to look at it but things had been too weird. Looking back up at the bathroom door you reached for his phone and found it to be unlocked. There was a text message from a woman named Lucille.

"Meet me at the hospital for my appointment, I'll be there till 4. I love you." You whispered the text message to yourself feeling your heart sink. Scrolling back to old messages you realized they lived together, Negan had a girlfriend? Anger started to rise in you as you went further and further each message telling you more before realizing, Negan didnt have a girlfriend...he was married.

The sound of the toilet flushing made you quickly look up and place the phone back where it was. You knew he had been lying about something but you had no idea it was to this extent. Standing up from the bed you began to get dressed as he came out of the bathroom fully dressed himself.

"And where the hell are you going?" He asked as he looked at you strangely.

"Where are you going?" You asked with a raised brow.

"I told you. I had some errands to run." He looked you dead in the eye with lies.

"With Lucille?" You placed your hand on your hip, you could tell by his expression you caught him off guard. Without saying a word he looked back at his phone then back to you.

"Yeah, I saw your stupid messages. Your wife is waiting for you at the hospital." You emphasized on the word wife, he could see you were angry, you were fuming.

"Sweetheart," he smirked.

"Dont sweetheart me, you lying piece of shit. You're married, you're fucking married."

"Listen Malia, it's been complicated." Negan spoke back with a tone you didnt like.

"Complicated? You had me as a damn mistress-"

"You're not a mistress." He raised his voice cutting you off.

"I think you need to go."

"We'll talk about this when I get back."

"I dont want you coming back." You shot back with a straight face.

"Well that's too damn bad, I said we'll talk about it when I get back." Negan walked past you leaving you in shock. You couldnt believe this man had the nerve to act this way. All this time he had someone else, all this time hes lived with another woman, you felt more rage than anything.

That night you wanted nothing but to go out for a drink, to hell with Negan. You put on a tight black dress and got yourself ready to go out and have fun at the local bar in town. Negan had been blowing up your phone but you didnt care. The second you texted him telling him that you wanted this relationship to be over, he flipped. Sitting down at the bar you already had a handsome man approach you and offer you a drink. The two of you hit it off laughing together as you continued to feel your phone buzz. The man sitting with you went to use the restroom as you sat smiling to yourself feeling good. In your own world, you hadn't noticed Negan enter the bar. Angrily he searched the place for you before spotting you sitting by yourself in a corner.

"You wanna answer your fucking messages?" You gasped to find Negan beside you.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I can say the same for you, sweetheart." He knew exactly where to find you as this was the same place the two of you had met.

"Negan, I told you we are done." Your response making him chuckle.

"I beg to differ, Malia." Just as you were about to respond the man you were flirting with all night sat beside you.

"Everything alright?" He asked making Negan give him a threatening glare.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Negan, stop it." You got nervous as the other man stood up defensively.

"I'm buying a drink for this fine woman, you got a problem?"

"This fine ass woman is my woman, so yeah I have a fucking problem. Let's go, Malia." Negan pulled out your chair and grabbed your arm.

"What the hell are you doing?!" You tried pulling your arm back but he wouldnt let go.

"Listen man she doesnt have to go with you if she doesnt want to."

"Hey asshole, I suggest you mind your fucking business." Negan practically pulled you off the chair and dragged you out the bar.

"Let go of me!" You screamed in the parking lot making him finally release you.

"Get in the fucking car, we're going home."

"I'm not going home, I dont wanna talk to you." You crossed your arms turning away from him.

"Sweetheart, I'm giving you one more chance. Get in the car."

"No." You responded flatly making him sigh before he suddenly picked you up and threw you over his shoulder.

"Stop it! Put me down!" You kicked but he held onto you tightly and sat you in the passenger seat of his truck.

"I gave you a chance to come here on your own didnt I?"

"You're crazy!" You screamed as you adjusted yourself on the seat eventually giving up.

"Oh I know." Negan climbed into the driver's seat and started the car before driving off. Angrily you remained silent looking out the window as you pulled down your dress. Negan looked over at you and licked his lips before looking back at the road.

"You look sexy." You didnt say a word to him as you remained looking away from him.

"Come on, baby. Why do you have to be so stubborn?" You took a deep breath clearly annoyed by him just wanting to get home. Finally he drove into your drive way and quickly you got out as he followed.

"Woah woah woah, I dont get a goodnight kiss?" You scoffed in disbelief.

"I cant believe you. Negan just go home, me and you are over."

"No we are not." He answered in a matter of fact tone.

"Malia, I love you."

"Unbelievable.." you muttered to yourself as he stepped closer.

"You think I dont love you? I left my damn wife at home to come find you because you didnt want to answer my damn messages." He raised his voice staring down at you.

"Oh, how romantic of you." You responded sarcastically before turning away from him and unlocking your door. Negan followed you inside as you shook off your high heels and threw your purse on the couch.

"You need to go."

"Im not leaving until we talk." You sighed in frustration before you turned to him.

"Fine, you wanna talk? Do you have any idea how many men I can have right now-"

"You be very careful where you're going with that, sweetheart." Negan cut you off slowly walking towards you.

"Oh please, I need to be careful with what I say? I was so close to getting fucked tonight by-"

"Hey!" He roared loudly making you jump. You swallowed nervously as he took another step closer looking down at you.

"No ones fucking you but me." A mixture of anger and arousal at his words made you look away.

"So.." you cleared your throat speaking calmly.

"You get to screw all the women you want and I have to be just for you?"

"Who said I was screwing anyone else?" He asked in a low voice.

"Negan, you're married." You stared up af him in disbelief.

"Yeah well, things are complicated, baby."

You turned away from him not wanting to hear anything else when your phone began to ring.

"Who the fuck is calling you at this time?"

You looked down at your phone noticing the name of the man you had just been talking to at the bar.

"You've gotta be kidding me, dont tell me you gave that asshole your number?"

"Yes, Negan I did. So what? Look, I think you should go. I just want to get in bed."

"I wanna get in bed with you."

"No. I want to be alone."

Negan moved closer to you slowly placing his hands on your hips.

"Come on, baby. You're really gonna stay pissed at me?"

"Are you joking?" You looked up at him feeling annoyed before he unexpectedly aggressively pulled you against him making your body slam against his.

"Does it look like I'm joking?" How can you not be mad at him, was he insane?

"Just go okay? We'll talk tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Negan agreed as his hands slowly fell from your hips.

Negan finally gave in, slamming the door loudly as he left for the night. Truth be told you didnt want to talk him or see him again. Who did he think you were, thinking youd be ok to be with a married man?

The next day at work you sat in your cubicle going over paperwork when one of your coworkers let you know your boyfriend was there.

"What?" You asked in shock and confusion when Negan appeared with a grin.

"Hey baby, I wanted to take you out for your lunch." You couldnt believe he had the nerve to show up and casually act like nothing had happened.

"Negan, I cant today. I have alot of work to catch up on." As you spoke, a male colleague of yours caught Negans eye, he noticed the man staring at your ass as he walked towards you from behind.

"Who's this asshole?" Negan asked you low making you turn to see your coworker, Peter approaching you.

"Peter, hi." You smiled, the sound of your voice excitedly saying another mans name made him look at you with deep furrowed brows.

"Good afternoon, gorgeous." The man reached in for a platonic kiss on the cheek with his hand on your waist making Negan tense up.

"Woah woah woah prick, keep your fucking hands to yourself."

"Negan." You turned to him bulging your eyes out.

"This is my boss." You spoke nervously as Negan chuckled.

"Oh wait, you're the boss that gave her that promotion a month back arent you? What you thought if you gave her a promotion youd get to tap that ass?"

"Negan! Peter...I'm so sorry-"

"Dont fucking be sorry for me, you dont see the way this asshole looks at you?" Negan responded angrily.

"Alright, Sir I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere without my woman." Peter gave you a warning glare making you sigh.

Pulling Negan outside you shoved his shoulder back angrily.

"Enough is enough, this is done Negan. I cant be with you anymore."

"Malia-"

"No I dont want to hear what you have to say. This has gone too far."

"Malia, God dammit.. you belong to me." His lip quivered as he spoke with intensity, the thought of Peter or any other man coming close to you made him enraged.

"Negan, I mean it I'm done. Do not come in here again because if you do, Peter will call security. Just stop, go home to your wife." And with that you walked away from him leaving him pissed. Negan wasnt ready to leave you, he couldnt help the feelings that he had for you. Whether you wanted to believe it or not Negan felt he truly loved you.

You felt no matter what you said to Negan he always found a way to go against it. He was a stubborn and persistent man. He had a temper towards any man that came close to you, he didnt trust it. Although you had feelings for him you didnt want to be apart of the mess any longer. You felt sorry for his wife, you felt betrayed, you were still angry.

The next day you woke up to the sound of chaos outside your house. There was screaming, sirens, you even thought you heard a few gunshots. Looking out the window you saw people screaming and running, there was blood everywhere. You gasped when you saw one man bite another.

"What the hell's going on?" You whispered to yourself before running to the tv and noticing all channels had no signal.

"Shit." You muttered before turning to your phone and noticing seven missed calls from Negan and a lost signal. You had no idea what the hell was going on but you knew that although you had feelings for Negan, this was your chance to break free from his possessiveness. This was your chance to get away.

Two years down the road many things had changed around you. The world changed as you knew it, you lost touch of everyone you knew and began staying with a small group. These things that came out attacking people, these walkers...they were like nothing the world had faced before. The group you were with was talking about another group they ran into, they called themselves "the saviors". They were the new threat you were all facing and they found where you all resided. One of the men said they were coming today, they had some sort of offer but your friend didnt sound convinced that it was a good one.

"Shit, I see their cars coming." Your friend Lenny muttered as he over looked the road.

"Everyone take your places!" You stood behind one of houses in the road with your hand gun and waited for the cars to pull up. The men slowly started to come out seeming to be waiting for one last man to come out. Taking a deep breath you squinted your eyes aiming your gun when a man you had not seen in two years came into view.

It was Negan.

Your lips parted in shock as you slowly bought your gun down. He came out of the car with an arrogant look. You couldnt believe it was actually him, he was the leader of the Saviors?

"Fuck.." you whispered to yourself looking around, you couldnt let him see you. You didnt want him to see you. Without alerting your group you turned running inside one of the houses, Negan instantly catching the quick movement.

"Woah, who was that?"

"Who?" Lenny looked behind him knowing you were the only one there. Negan didnt say a word signaling for one of his men, Simon to take over of watch for him. Negan made his way to the house slowly opening the door, you heard him enter from where you were upstairs and cursed to yourself.

"Come out come out wherever you are." He taunted you with sarcastic playfulness. Quietly you hid in one of the bedrooms hiding yourself in the closet. Negan wasnt a stupid man and you knew this, you began to hear him slowly make his way up the stairs.

"Come on lady, you're only making this harder for yourself." He yelled out before you heard him enter the very room you were in. You squeezed your eyes shut as you heard him look around the room. Your finger on the trigger as he carefully observed his surroundings, he right away noticed the closet door cracked.

"Oh you're just making this too damn easy for me." You took a deep breath as he moved towards the closet, the floors squeaking loudly before he opened the door. Negan was stunned at the sight of you, his brows were deeply knitted together before a smirk slowly appeared.

"Well shit, look who it is."

Slowly you lifted up the gun aiming it directly at him, finger on the trigger.

"That's cute."

"Back up." You spoke in a stern voice. Negan did as you asked as you slowly stepped out of the closet showing your full self. His eyes excitedly checking you out from head to toe. Your shoulder length hair had grown down to the middle of your back, the color also lighter than what he remembered.

"You look good, Malia."

"What the hell are your people doing to my group?"

"Your group huh? Did your group tell you how they got caught stealing from mine?"

"Stealing?" You asked with a puzzled expression.

"Oh yeah, sweetheart. Stealing, now how about you put that gun down and we can have a normal conversation." You didnt say a word nor move a muscle as he looked straight at you.

"Come on, have I ever fucking hurt you?"

"Funny you ask." You responded sarcastically remembering when you found out he was cheating with you.

"Baby girl, that was a long time ago now." You stayed silent staring at him for a moment before slowly putting the gun down.

"Good girl." He responded with an excited tone as you glared at him.

"You should take your people and leave," you responded bluntly making him frown.

"And leave my pretty little flower after I've just found her? I think the fuck not."

"Malia! You okay in there?" You heard Lenny yell from outside.

"Yes, I'm fine Lenny." You screamed back out the window before turning back to Negan.

"Lenny huh?" He licked his bottom lip as he stepped closer to you.

"Is he fucking you?"

"Dont start," you placed your hand your hip making him look down at your body and grin.

"God I always loved when you did that cute little pose." You crossed your arms clearly annoyed by him.

"Wheres your wife anyway, shouldn't you be off with her?" You noticed the look in his eyes change and just by the look you could tell what had happened.

"I'm sorry." A piece of you actually felt sorry for him.

"Well....I'm gonna go-" you went to walk past him before he gently grabbed your arm.

"Come on, dont leave me now." He looked over at you as you looked at the ground with a sigh.

"What are you gonna run off to that prick Lenny?"

"God dammit, Negan. You're still the same way." Negan chuckled before turning you fully towards him.

"What the hell makes you think I'd be any different?" His expression turning into a straight face.

"You dont think I've spent days wondering what the fuck happened to you? Wondering if you were still alive? You think now that I've found you I'll let any man take you from me?" You looked up at him speechlessly. His territorial ways were far from gone but a part of you did actually miss him. You shook your head looking away making him get closer to you.

"Tell me you didnt fucking miss me." Negan spoke aggresivly getting closer to you as you stepped back.

"Go ahead, say it so I can see the bullshit in your eyes."

"Stop it!"

"Or what!" He yelled back before realizing you wanted him to stop because you were getting aroused. He could tell by the way you were breathing, the way you couldnt look him in the eyes. Negan knew you all too well, the thought made him smirk.

"Am I making you all hot and bothered, sweetheart?"

"The hell makes you think that?" You responded defensively knowing he wasnt wrong.

"I dont know, you've got that look in your eye." Negans eyes lit up as he began to remember things that happened between the two of you.

"What look?"

"The look you'd always get everytime I teased you. You remember those days dont you?" Negan leaned in with his lips close to your ear.

"When I used to kiss every part of you and tell you how you were mine and only fucking mine." You heard him smile against you as you continued to listen to him. Truth be told, he was turning you on as much as you tried to fight it.

"You still are mine, you know that dont you?" You felt his hand slowly slide up your thigh as he began to kiss your neck making your eyes clothes. This is actually what you were trying to avoid, you knew his touch could make you weak. He knew what you liked and he took advantage of it. He slid his tongue around your neck making you moan softly against him.

"Negan....everyone's..downstairs-"

"Fuck them." He whispered roughly before he threw everything off the vanity beside you and turned you around, bending you over it. You squealed with excitement as he lowered your pants and his. He couldnt wait to feel you, he didnt even bother getting fully undressed. Not wasting anytime Negan thrusted himself into you making you scream.

"Oh yeah.." he groaned, you were already wet for him. He grabbed your waist hard as he slammed into you with full force. The vanity slamming against the wall loudly with each thrust, you melted by the feel of him.

"Look up," he ordered you aggresivly pulling you by your hair and holding your arms behind you. He made you look into the mirror in front of you. The pain was satisfying, Negans expression as he fucked you only turned you on more.

"You see that?" He panted against your ear.

"You're mine, only I can fuck you like this." Your lips parted but no sound came out as he moved faster.

"You hear me?!" He tugged at your hair hard making you scream.

"Yes!" You cried out as he bit down on his bottom lip hard before suddenly pulling out.

"Turn around-" he panted making you get on your knees as you quickly opened your mouth and he quickly came on your tongue. You took his cock in your mouth whole making him weak in the knees, sucking him dry.

"Fuck.." he whispered as you pulled away and swallowed every drop, wiping the corner of your lips. Negan was drenched in sweater under his leather jacket, you could see a sweat stain on his chest through his white shirt.

"God damn, Malia."

You smiled licking your lips as you fixed your clothes. Negan wiped his sweat off his face cleared his throat as he fixed his belt.

"Now what?" You whispered as he looked at you with a satisfying smile. Negan walked towards you and slowly caressed the side of your face as he looked at your lips.

"Now you come with me, baby and we finish where we left off." Negan leaned in and kissed you passionately, your stomach began to flutter. You hated that this man got to you like this but you couldnt help yourself. You had never stopped loving Negan and you wanted him all along.

[creweemmaeec11]

Different Tactics Pt 3

*see masterpost for first 2 parts*

-----------------------------------------

When the villain opened their eyes, they were shocked. The first thing they were shocked by was that they opened their eyes in the first place. After everything went black, they were pretty sure they'd never open their eyes again.

The next shocking discovery was where they were. Instead of the cold stone of an alley or jail cell or even the bed of a hospital, they were snuggly tucked under a blanket on the couch of a warm, cozy looking living room.

The villain went to sit up, and was immediately hit with a wave of agony from their abdomen. They let out a cry of pain, hands flying to where they remebered the injury being, only to come in contact with some kind of fabric. They lifted the blanket that was draped over them, realizing that while they were still in the same pants, they were wearing a new shirt. Apon further investigation, their abdomen was well wrapped in gauze and cleaned of blood. The slice across their chest didn't hurt nearly as bad, and while they couldnt see through the bandages, it felt like it had been properly stitched and treated.

Did... did the hero do this?

The memories of before came crashing back, and suddenly they were flooded with panic. Where were they? Were they under arrest? Did the hero treat them?

Panic turned to horror at the realization that if the hero had changed their shirt... they would have seen all the scars...

It felt like someone dumped a bucket of ice onto them.

Suddenly, as if this situation couldn't get any worse, they heard footsteps approaching.

They sat frozen, watching as the door opened and the hero walked in.

Their eyes immediately lit up as they landed on the villain in bed.

"Your awake!"

The villain's mind raced, "What's happening? Where am I? What-"

"Shhh," the hero soothed, as they came to sit down next to the other on a foot rest. The villain subconsciously leaned into the couch, wary of the hero being so close. They clenched the blanket in their hands, pulling it up to their chest like it could protect them from the world.

They pinned their eyes shut, clenching their fists tighter .

"Hey," the hero said softly, resting a hand on the villains shoulder.

The villain responded with a violent flinch, making the hero jump and retract their hand for a moment, only to put their hand back on the villains shoulder again, only gentler.

"Hey it's okay, I brought you to my place and patched you up. Nobody is coming to arrest you or anything, you can relax, I promise," they explained, before reaching over to the table. They handed the villain a glass of water, "here, this should help,"

The villain took the glass, but simply held it in their lap.

The hero didn't say anything about it.

"Why would you help me?"

"I'm a hero," they responded as if it was obvious, "helping is kinda what I do,"

"But why would you help *me*"

"because I wanted to. Because I care. Because I don't like seeing you hurt,"

The villain just looked away, unsure how to respond, how to tell the hero how stupid they were for caring about someone like them.

They shivered.

"Please lay back down, you've got a fever, you still need to be resting,"

The villain didnt fight the hand that guided them back down onto the pillows.

"Wait, how long was I out?"

"Almost 4 days, you lost a lot of blood,"

The villain looked away once more, clenching the blanket in their fists again.

"I don't mean to pry, and I won't force you to answer..." the hero started. The villain braces themselves. "But based on how many other still healing injuries or scars you have, this isnt a once off thing. You... you wouldn't have survived loosing much more blood. I know we fight but most of those scars... aren't from me,"

"You not so full of yourself you think your the only one I fight are you?"

"Easy," the hero soothed, taking one of the villains hands into their own, stopping it from clenching the blankets more. The villain's breath hitched at the contact. "I'm not trying to start a fight or anything, I just want to help,"

The villain pulled their hand free of the heros, holding it close to their chest.

"Okay, we can drop it for now. I have some soup on the stove I have to go check on anyway. I'll be back with some soon,"

With that, the hero up and left, the villains gaze fixed on them untill they were gone.

Back with some? Did... did that mean the hero was bringing some for them?

They felt their stomach grumble at just the thought. They hadn't realized how hungry they were until now.

Now that the hero was gone they had a chance to look around the room. The room they were in wasn't big, but it wasn't tiny either. It was perfectly cozy, a small fireplace on one wall toward their feet with a TV above it. There was an end table and lamp above thier head with a second couch adjacted to it. The walls were lined with bookshelves that were full of books and a couple of potted plants.

Suddenly something landed on their shins and they jumped, looking down to see a... cat?

A large grey cat with black stripes and a fluffy tail had jumped up onto their legs and was making it way up. The villain sat frozen, unsure what to do as the cat curled up on their lap, purring like a motorboat happily.

A small chuckle came from the doorway.

"I see you've met Silver. Though it's not the first time shes met you. She's barely left your lap sense I brought you here. She really likes you."

The villain stayed quiet, blushing slightly, unsure how to respond to such a thing.

"Here, you must be hungry," the hero said, offering a bowl of steaming soup to the villain who took it awkwardly, as if they weren't used to things being handed to them.

The villain took a small sip, thankful for the excuse to not have to talk. They could feel the ever so slight vibration coming from the purring creature in their lap. The sound was soothing, and something they weren't used to at all.

The second the warm broth hit their tounge, they were shocked.

"Did... did you make this?" They asked quietly.

"Oh, yeah, I hope it's all right, its one of my own recipes and-"

"It's good..." the villain muttered quietly. Good was an understatement, it was delicious.

"Oh you don't have to say that just to be nice. I didnt have many ingredients in the fridge but I didnt wanna leave you alone so-"

"I'm not just being nice, it's really good... it's... well, it's delicious. You're... you're really talented,"

The villain glanced at the hero quickly, who was sitting on the couch eating their own bowl of soup. They were blushing furiously, staring at the villain in shock.

"I- really?"

The villain huffed and glared "it's already hard for me to give compliments are your trying to make me say it again?"

The hero laughed at that, "ok, ok, sorry, thank you,"

Things were certainly different for the villain after that.

[doyumacy]

FALLOUT |LH| SIX

*gif not mine

PAIRING: donghyuck x reader bodyguard!donghyuck

WARNINGS: mentions of yuta, doyoung jeno. swearing, hospital (broken rib, bruises).

WORD COUNT: 2,8K

SEVEN

You spent the duration of the ride pondering if Donghyuck was seriously injured. Or if he had died. The car began to slow down, and you looked up to see where he was. The hospital.

After Donghyuck left you with the rest of the security team, you refused to go home and wanted to make sure he was okay. You couldn't lose him.

You made your way to the E.R and a nurse took you to the room where he was being treated by the doctors. You knocked on the door and then opened it. He was laying on a stretcher gurney. He was shirtless and had bandages around his ribs and an arm on his eyes covering them.

"Donghyuck?" You called.

"(Y/N)?," He stared at you. "What are you doing here?"

You rushed through the door and finally got a good look at him. He had bruises all over his chest and waist. Your eyes started watering. "You look like hell." You breathed. Your hand instinctively looked out his. Donghyuck was pale and his skin was clammy.

"I know," he admitted. "But you cannot be in here. Please leave, (Y/N)."

"I won't leave," you held his hand and squeezed it. "What did the doctors say? Are you hurt?"

"I have a broken rib," Donghyuck tried to sit and growled. "Please go home, you'll be safer there. I couldn't even protect you out there, what makes you think I will be here?"

"Hey, hey," you whispered and cupped his face in your hands, "it's not your fault. I'm okay, I'm not hurt and that wasn't your fault, okay?"

"We need to talk., (Y/N). There’s something you need to know..." He stared at you.

Suddenly, the door opened harshly revealing an upset Yuta. He had his jaw tightened and grabbed your arm roughly, almost making you whine. "You will not spend a single minute with this useless bodyguard. We're leaving, (Y/N)."

"Yuta," you let go off of his grip. "What are you even doing here?"

"I came to do his motherfucking job: protecting you. You almost die today, (Y/N)." Yuta stared at you and then looked at Donghyuck. "Don't you ever even bother to come back. You're fired."

"I'm the one who makes that call, Yuta," you glanced at him. "You cannot speak for me and he's not fired. This wasn't his fault."

"Oh my God, (Y/N)," Yuta rolled his eyes. "Is he fucking you so good that you will defend him?"

You opened your mouth to speak but Yuta raised his hand. "I saw you two kissing the other day. Is this your new hobby? Fucking your bodyguard?"

"My life and who I fuck is none of your business. Get the fuck out of here." You demanded.

"You're coming with me," he grabbed your hand and you groaned letting go off of his grip again. He growled and snapped his fingers. Two big men entered the room and grabbed you by force. You screamed and kicked in the air but it was useless. Donghyuck tried to stand up but it was stopped by Yuta who placed him back on the stretcher gurney, pressing his broken rib making Donghyuck growl in pain. "I'll have to finish your stupid task since you couldnt keep your hands to yourself, asshole."

"Don't you dare to hurt her!" Donghyuck said between teeth, causing Yuta to laugh.

"Please don't tell me you fell for her..." He laughed again. "It's so pathetic. Well, I hope you fucked her good last night because you won't see her again."

And before Donghyuck could stand up again, Yuta injected something through his IV making him dizzy and putting him to sleep. “Sweet dreams.”

After you got home, you slapped Yuta in the face twice. You punched him in his chest a few times and then pushed him. You were crying. “Don’t you ever fucking do that again, do you hear me?!”

He grabbed your wrists, trying to calm down and looked at him. “You should be thanking me.”

“I love him!” You exclaimed, “I don’t care about you. Stay fucking quiet, dont you understand?”

Yuta sighed, frustrated and then glanced at you. “My bodyguards will stay here tonight. You should be safe.”

“Fuck you.”

Yuta ignored you and left your house. You screamed and threw a flagon to the door. You grabbed your purse trying to find your phone to call Donghyuck and realised Yuta had taken it with him. You went to your home office and unlocking a drawer with your fingertip, you pulled out an old iPhone and turned it on.

You frowned as soon as you saw the first notification, an email for Kim Doyoung.

From: KDY

To: (Y/N)

Meet me. We need to talk. It’s important.

You gulped. Why did he want to see? Was he behind the shooting? You certainly couldn’t tell Donghyuck about, what if he ended up dead now?

You sighed and replied to his email.

From: (Y/N)

To: KDY

When and where?

Doyoung replied a couple of seconds later.

From: KDY

To: (Y/N)

Tonight. 11 pm in the place as usual. Go alone.

You placed the phone on the desk and started to think how you would escape. Yuta’s bodyguards were outside your house everywhere.

You’d come up with a plan anytime soon.

Later that day, you were finally able to reach Donghyuck. He was at his place, still recovering from the broken rib but he’ll come back as soon as the sedative was out of his system. You assured him you wanted him in your life and Yuta was not going to be an obstacle to be together.

At night, Yuta visited you again but you refused to leave your room and he gave up leaving. By 10:30 you left your bed and it didn't creak, and when you put your feet on the floor it didn't squeak. You mentally congratulated yourself on the new accomplishment and tiptoed to the door, grabbing his classic black cap on the way out. You went to Donghyuck’s bedroom and you thanked your mom for loving balconies and forcing you to have one in your guest’s bedroom.

With a quick glance to the yard, you climbed down out the balcony, keeping a steady eye on the guard standing next to the yard door. You had never felt so heavy as you slowly moved past, your body barely moving as your feet carried you carefully by. After safely making it out past there, you went to the back door that connected with one of your neighbour Jungwoo

You weren't exactly best friends with him but he wouldn't mind if you used his door. As you got out of his house, you saw a bright light in front of you. You covered your eyes with your arm and squinted your eyes trying to know who was on it. A man dressed in all back wearing a helmet walked to you and you gulped. Was he one of Yuta's men?

The man took off the helmet and you were suddenly breathless. It was Donghyuck. You inhaled deeply and jumped to his arms hugging him tightly. He whined placing a hand on his ribs but hugged you tight with his other arm. "Oh, my God. I'm sorry," you got away from him quickly. "What are you doing here?"

"I knew you would try to sneak out somehow," he told you and cupped your cheek with one hand. "Are you going to see Doyoung?"

"H-how did you know?" You looked at him.

"I just knew he would reach out to you." Donghyuck looked at you. "C'mon, I'll take you there."

When you got the abandoned building, Donghyuck and you went to the roof waiting for Doyoung to show up. You crossed your arms against your chest and sighed. "Do you think he's behind this?"

Donghyuck shook his head. "No."

"Then who?" You looked at him.

Donghyuck remained quiet and admired the city from top. He was going to tell you, but he wasn't ready to watch you break.

"I told you to come alone, (Y/N)." Doyoung reminded you, walking behind you.

You turned and sighed. "I couldn't. Sorry."

"It's okay. I trust him anyways, don't I?" Doyoung glanced at Donghyuck, who just made eye contact with him for a couple of seconds. "Whatever, I'm glad you made it. I heard you were attacked this morning."

You nodded and tugged your hands in the back pockets of your jeans. "Doyoung?"

He hummed without stopping looking at you. You bit your lip, almost trembling and looked at him again. Doyoung frowned. "You think I did it."

"I-I d-don't," you stuttered.

"Do I have reasons to kill you?" Doyoung raised an eyebrow, looking at you.

"Well..." you sighed nervously. "I might have said something I shouldn't have."

"I know." He fixed the sleeves of his suit jacket.

You furrowed your eyebrows. "What?"

"I have people working for me in the government, (Y/N). Of course I'd knew if you would open your mouth."

"But no, I'm not the one behind this. My men slit throats, they don't shoot people. And well, do you see them going after your throat?"

You shook your head. "I'm not gonna lie, I'm a bit disappointed because I like you. You seem like a good woman but I don't like when they open their mouths to shit on me."

"Doyoung, I-"

"Let me finish." He stood in front of you and leaned closer to you. "Were you really going to turn me in?"

You gulped again. Doyoung somehow cornered you against the wall and Donghyuck grabbed his arm tightly. "Don't."

Doyoung glanced at him and a little smirk appeared on his lips. "I didn't believe it when I heard it."

You were confused. Did they know each other?

"I won't turn you in. They needed information and I gave them some, but I would never. Please believe me." You looked at Doyoung.

Doyoung returned his attention to you and smiled. "Why should I believe you?"

"Because I'll make sure of it," Donghyuck spoke first and glanced at you quickly. "Right?"

You nodded rapidly and Doyoung squinted his eyes not breaking eye contact with you. "Fine. And (Y/N)? There won't be a next time. If something like this happens again I'll be the one who slit your throat."

"Now leave before I change my mind and slit both of your throats."

Donghyuck grabbed your hand and left the roof going downstairs. He was walking at a fast pace and you have to almost run to follow his pace. Before getting on the bike, you stood up in front of him. “You know him.” You affirmed.

Donghyuck just sighed and looked at you. “I’ll tell you whatever you need to know, but not now. Get on the bike.”

“I can’t go back to my house. Yuta is being a pain in the ass treating me as if I were some damsel in distress and I can’t take it anymore.”

“You’re not going to your house. You’re going to mine,” Donghyuck kissed you and the feeling that kiss gave you was everything. “I love you, (Y/N).”

You smiled against his lips, feeling the weight of his words sink in, but in a good way. And you were so happy he felt the same way. “I love you, too.”

You two arrived at his apartment and you were surprised by a not that tall man with black hair. He greeted you and introduced himself as Jeno and Donghyuck’s best friend. Jeno was nice and decided to give some privacy excusing himself to his bedroom.

Donghyuck walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge door. “Wanna drink something? Water? Beer? Apple juice?”

“I’m good, thanks,” you said, taking a look at Donghyuck's living room. You noticed the floor was paved with wooden floor and the wall was paved with white bricks. That color made the room bigger. It had a big window facing the street and it had light grey curtains. There was a black sofa with a white glass coffee table. They were very suitable for each other. The living room also had a black TV which was on a square cabinet, some art paintings on the wall and a large white shelf, and on it, there were three frames; a photo of Donghyuck holding a baby.

He walked to you and leaned against the wall in front of you. "Her name is Jiwoo. She's my niece."

You smiled. "Is it the same girl from all these photos?"

"Yeah," he smirked, still leaning against the wall, "she grew up so fast."

"Do you visit her often?" You asked, placing the portrait on its place again.

"Not anymore. My sister decided to move to Jeju and I try to visit as much as I can, but sometimes work won't let me."

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" He frowned.

"You hadn't even been to your place in days because of me," you sighed. "You should take a break and go visit them."

"I'm not leaving you alone during this time." Donghyuck cupped both of your cheeks in his hands and looked into your eyes. "When all of this is over I'm gonna take you so you can meet them."

Your face lighted up with a smile and put your arms around his waist. "You will?"

"It's a promise," he gave you a peck on the nose. "They're gonna love you."

“I’m looking forward to it then,” you smirked and caressed his lower lip with your thumb. “Can we go to bed? I’m exhausted and you need to rest.”

He nodded and kissed you. “Please promise me you won’t stop loving me. Ever.”

You kissed him back, pressing your body against his. “I love you. Forever.”

“Hyuck?” you called, after a pause on chopping some vegetables. “Are you even listening?”

He blinked and shifted his weight to his other foot. He wasn’t.

“I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes.” Donghyuck smiled.

There was a pause in which he could feel you looking at him. And then you relaxed, smiling. “Did I say that out loud?”

You blushed almost up to your ears, causing him to chuckle softly as he passed his fingers over his hair.

“Yes, you did,“ you said, still blushed. Puffing up your cheeks in a bit of a pout you huffed at him. “You just wanted an excuse to make me blush, didn’t you?”

“In fact, the cheek-coloring reaction is a universal human response to social attention. The veins in the face dilate, causing more blood to flow into your cheeks..." Jeno interrupted your moment entering the kitchen. "Sorry, folks, but I'm starving."

You laughed and went back to chop the vegetables. "I'm making Mongolian chicken if you want."

"No idea what's that but it sounds good," Jeno sat next to Donghyuck and winked at him. "So, are you two dating?"

Donghyuck cleared his throat and fixed his shirt. You shrugged, taking the chicken breast out of the fridge. "We fuck and tell each other 'I love you', is that dating?" You looked at Donghyuck.

"You haven't asked her to be your girlfriend?!" Jeno stared at him.

"I'm planning to!" Donghyuck groaned. "Go away, Jeno."

You giggled. "I don't mind, really. We don't have to level it up or whatever."

"Now she's nice. You better keep her." Jeno said.

"If you don't shut up she won't feed you," Donghyuck warned him.

“Why are you sweating, Donghyuck? Are you nervous?” Jeno mocked him.

“Shut up, Jeno!” Donghyuck pushed him.

“Break it up, boys, or neither of you will eat,” you warned them.

After you three finished eating, Jeno went out leaving you two alone again. Donghyuck dragged you with him to the grey couch in the living room and surrounded you with his arms. You could tell he wanted to tell you something, but something was holding him back. You rest your head in the space between his shoulder and his neck and give him a few pecks there. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

"I know," he whispered. "But I'm scared I'm gonna lose you."

"You won't," You looked at him. "Donghyuck? What 's going on?"

Donghyuck sighed and sat up on the couch. "I've been lying to you."

“What do you mean?” You frowned.

“I was hired to kill you.”

[zmayadw]

Hello again :)

Heres a second part of my fanfic, as i said in previous post that i will add one or two. I know the begining might be a bit long and boring, but i decided my other two favorite Duskwood characters deserve some love ,too. :)

 Thanks to all who took their time to read it!

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 2

Next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital. The bright light from the window made me squint my eyes, and my head throbbed as hell. „Arghh, too bright.“ I mumbled, as a cheerfull voice next to me responded  „Well finaly, I was begining to worry you would never wake up! You know, you're taking those beautysleep advices too seriously.“ My eyes ajusted to the light, and I was looking at that cheerful, loving face, the face I knew oh so well. „Hmm, considering all, an extra hour or so of beautysleep is so allowed for me.“  I said, my voice hoarse a bit. She snorted „Make that 'an extra day or so'! You slept for almost three days!“ she said, walkig towards my bed and hugging me carefully. It felt good, just knowing she was there. She pulled away from me, her face serious.  “What wer you thinking?“ „ I'm sorry Jessy, so, so sorry.“  I said, tears swelling behind my eyes. „ I know what I did was stupid, but belive me, I really tought I was doing the right thing.“ „The 'right thing' almost got you killed Maya!“ she yelled at me, wich made me realize just how much she was worried about me. I burried my face in my hands, tears falling down „Please Jessy, dont be mad at me, I feel awfull as it is already. I realize my actions wer wrong, but I cant undo any of it now. And God knows im more then happy to be alive, and Hannah too! And I know my „sorry“ might not be enough this time, but I reall am sorry Jessy, you cant imagine how much. But please, please, you have to forgive me, I couldnt stand if I loose you!“ I couldnt force myself to look at her, I was so scared she would just get up and leave. And who could blame her, really, after all I did, she would have every right to do so. Suddenly, my hands wer slowely being moved from my face, and i opened my eyes  to see hers holding mine. I lifted my head, and our eyes met. Hers wer now also full of tears. She hugged me so fiercly, and even if everything still hurted me like hell, I was so reliefed and hugged her back tightly as I could. „Ofcourse I forgive you, Maya. I was so damn worried and scared that I will loose you!“ I was releifed to hear her say it, I hugged her even tighter, saying through my tears „I'm sorry Jessy.“ She held me like that for a while, and then pulled slowly back. „I'm glad you're ok Maya.“ She said, smile coming back to that pretty face. „Look at us! Bawling here like little kids.“ That made me chuckle, and i said whiping my tears  „Huh, I never tought our fist time meeting would be with me in the hospital. But, hey, im not picky, i'm just glad I finaly had a chance to hug you.“  „I dont think anyone imagined this to be the place of your first meeting us. You do realize others will want to come and see you? Dan already wanted to come with me, he was mumbling something about how he owes you a whiskey. But i gave him such a stern look, he just kissed me goodby and said to say 'hi' from him and ran away from me.“ The tought of Dan being scared of Jessy made me laugh so hard, i got a little dizzy from the pain. Jessy noticed me vincing, quickly saying „But that can wait, you need to rest more first. It's not like you're going anywhere anytime soon!“ She looked at me all serious, and i understood why Dan acted like he did. „Dont worry, Jessy, I wont try to break out of hospital.“ I said with a grin on my face. „A bit of r'n'r is definatly what I need now.“ „Good! And since i'm clearly your favorite person from our little clique, you wont get rid of me that easy while  in here.“ She said cheerfully. „Thanks, Jessy. I mean it, Im really glad you're here with me.“ „Me too, Maya, me too.“ She stayed with me that whole afternoon, and I was happy about it. We talked about everything we could think of: how we gonna take that walk arround Duskwood together, having coffee at the Rainbow caffee, going to Aurora for drinks. Jessy was so full of life, and managed to stay so positive through all of this mess. She told me that police gave her my stuff and my phone, and will bring me what i need. It wasnt so important, but i could really use my phone.  It was like Jessy could read my mind, and she looked at me with simpathy „Did Jake contacted you?“  There was a knot in my stomack when she asked, because I knew I wasnt out in the clear with what I did with everyone just jet. „I dont know, Jessy,  I guess i'll find out when I get my phone. But im sure Lily told him all about it by now, and to be honest, it's the one conversation i'm scared of having at the moment.“ „I'm sure it will be fine.“ „I really hope so, Jessy. I really care so much for him. I dont know for sure what he feels, and it doesnt really matter, I just cant stand the tought of him being mad at me. Or not talking to me anymore...I got so used of having him arround, even just virtualy..i dont know Jessy, i cant explain it... i just need him in my life. Does this make any sense to you?“  She looked at me, with care and a hint of worry showing on her face „Yes Maya, it makes perfect sense.“ We talked for a while more. She looked at the clok on the wall and jumped „Oh, yay I gotta go, forgot Im meeting Dan! He made me promise to meet later, since I didnt let him come with me here.“ „Heh, better go then, I dont want Dan blaming me AGAIN for getting stud up by you. Or he might not buy me that whiskey he promised, an to be honest I could really use it now.“ I sad smiling at her. „Ohh no, you two are gonna be a pain in the butt when you meet, arent you?“ she groaned, but a smile was written all over her face. „Dont worry, i'll behave..as much as possible. As for Dan, im sure if you join us and give him some of your 'scarry' looks, he'll behave too.“  She bursted out laughing. „Oh, cant wait for it! I'll go grab your phone  real quick, and then im off.“ She ran for the door, stoped, turned arround giving me one more of her beautiful smiles „I'm really glad you're ok Maya.“ I smiled back,“ Me too Jessy, me too.“ She came back with my phone, plugged it to charge next to my bed hugging me quickly before leaving.

It was almost dark outside, and the room was so quiet since Jessy left. There wasnt much comotion in the hospital, and I appriciated it actualy, some peace after all the mess was a nice change. I stared at the window for a while, just enjoyeing the sceene of the sun setting down, the sky taking that purpleish-blue color. I was actually delaying the moment of turning my phone on, because I was scared. A the same time I hoped Jake would contact me, but then I was also scared of talking to him. Its been three days since the incident, and im sure Jake found out everything by now, so maybe he vented some of the anger off in the mean time. Ah, c'mon Maya, dont be a sissy! – i tought to myself – You stared death in the face, and showed it the middle finger, and you're scared of that thing? I took a deep breath, took my phone from the stand, and turned it on. It felt like forever for it to turn when i punched my code, and when it finaly did, i left it aside. The beeping of new messages, missed calls, new emails and all was the only sound spreading through the room. And with every beep my stomach reacted a bit, thinking if any of those beeps belongs to Jakes. I got so lost in my toughts, that a voice snaped me back, startling me a bit. A nurse smiled „Sorry hun, i didnt want to fright you. Just came to chek up on you, ask if you need anyhting and to give you some pain meds.“ She winked at me „It's the good stuff, will help you sleep better.“ „Thank you, mam, im good.“ I smiled back at her, and quickly glanced at my phone - 44 missed calls, 24 messages, 17 emails. That will be some time killing stuff. The nurse was done, she waved at me wishing me good night, saying to feel free calling her if I needed anything. I thanked her again as she left the room. I took my phone, my hand shakeing. I checked 'missed calls' first, and tho i didnt expect it, was a bit dissapointed Jake wasnt among one of them. I opened the messages, and Jessy's message was on top. „Sending you hugs&kisses!“ it was written under the picture of her and Dan, grining with their glasses raised. It made me smile, and i texted her back „Hehe, Dan must be happy you actualy came this time! xD Have fun you two, cant wait to join you. Hugs&kisses“ I checked other messages, and my hearth squeezed a bit when i saw he didnt texted either. I didnt feel like replaying to any at the moment, settling the phone back on the stand. I switched off the light above the bed, turned on the side, staring at now complete darkness throught the window. One tear rolled down my cheek as i closed my eyes, hoping sleep will come soon.

[alijaymtz]

Its been years since ive been here, it seems like this is the only place where i feel irrelevant and disconected from the real world. 

A lot has changed since I last wrote how I felt. 

I moved, began college, and live with my father. 

Ive said it before but there is no person I hate more than that man, he does things and then forgets the damage he caused but instead he knows how to guilt trip others. 

Im currently studying psychology, and through the study of it ive been able to categorize my father with borderline personality disorder. I doubt he’ll ever know nor will i ever tell him. 

I’ve learned to mask myself, my depression, my anger, my personality, when im home with him. Everything disapoints him. There are times that he forgets telling me to tell something to other people and then I am left in a negative place. “But you told me to tell them” ...”I never said that, IN MY LIFE IVE NEVER SAID THAT” ...

Its been two days since ive told him im styuduing to become a psychologist, today, while driving home from the gym, he asks me if I have some type of mental disorder in a joking way. I tell him “yeah, I am bipolar.” but according to several tests we’ve been reviewing in class. “yeah that makes sense” he says “I noticed since you left me when you were young”. 

When I was a child my father used to abuse my mother, hes done several crazy and traumatizing things, he broke her ribs, punched her, kicked her on the ground, for small things like burnt food or her complaining he returned home at 2 am. Back then my mother, who I think was brave, decided it was no longer safe to live with my dad because he began beating my older brother just as much as he beat my mom. 

She picked a bag, dumped in mostly my clothing and my brothers, and we headed straight to the police. Unfortunetly, they were unable to help us. So we went to the embasy, and they sent us to a shelter for women. Over the next few years I lived in shelter homes, foster homes, but safe. At one point I lived without my brother and mother but was happy, and safe. 

My mother was sent by court to return to Mexico, so we packed up and came with her. My dad staying behind “as the bread winner” or whatever. We lived in a small one bedroom with no beds or other furniture but we were happy... Untill my dad came. For a while he seemed content, unbothered, but a few months later he returned to his demonic state. 

He would not only hit my mother to the pulp, my brother, now he did it to me too. He began to fear we were becoming Mexican and began to teach us the muslim way. Through the dicipline in his feet, he’d kick us untill out noses bleed then a few minutes later kiss our cheeks and talk to us kindly about our mistakes. As a child, my mother spoke spanish, my father english. Now i was introduced Urdu, Arabic, and was expected to learn whole texts and prayers in minutes.

It was always like that, yell, hit, kissing cheeks. Sometimes he would break things in between. 

When i turned 17, my father had left for the first time in years to his homeland in Pakistan. He was gone for 3 months and during that time my brother, mother, and I sat almost every night planning how we could disapear because no matter what we did or how we did it, he’d always find us. 

My mother had gotten surgery while my dad was away, we spent a long time with her in the hospital. We had days were we wouldnt eat, sleep, or do anything other than sit. But we were happy.

One time, before he left,  He cut my mother with a knife ,In my room while I saw him stab her. I didnt want that to ever happen again. Another time, my father was mad my mom brought up him bringing a nehibor lady into the house while we were in school and she was working, but somehow he flipped it into “Jelousy” because there is no other reason why a wife would say something about it...He was so mad he beat my mother after her chemo. For weeks she couldnt move, she was in my room with the lights off and bearly eating because he wouldnt let us take her any food. But we could hear her moan in pain. Another time, he beat my brother into the street, the whole neiborhood came out to see. He dragged my brother into the stone floors and picked up a rock about my brothers head size. I swore I saw him die. I was pulled into a house by a lady and her daughters tried to calm me down as I couldnt breath. I prayed he was alive. 

A few hours passed and my father was looking for me, he knocked on every door. I sneaked out and returned home. 

So, the point to this is the following. When my dad returned from Pakistan, i closed the doors and made no sound. He couldnt come in. He would just leave after a while. He knew we were inside. I felt my breath becoming loud. He could hear. He left. 

For the next few days he would come and talk to my mom, who said “the kids don’t want you in” followed my “I brought gifts”. My mother who was still walking with a cane, felt pitty for her husband, who had been sleeping in a motel for days. So, she let him in “for a few hours”. Feeling the room shrink i sent a help messege to a cousin of mine whom told her mom. In a matter of minutes a car popped infront of the house with three aunts and one cousin, they demanded I go with them. 

Without looking at my brother, I saved myself. For two months I lived with my aunt and her 4 kids. I cleaned and she would tip me in order to help me pay for psychiatic help (she also paid it).  One day my mom showed up and told me she would do anything for me to return, i never asked how bad things were in those two months for them. I made a list asking her to go to therapy with me, for him to not look at me or say a word. I went back. He was calm a whole year, not one word was said to me. I didnt leave my room and I swear my skin went from olive to pale yellow skin for the time I spent in there. 

So today, he said “I noticed since you left me when you were young”...”Because a normal person wouldnt do that”. 

[saturnaftertaste]

went to the library again today; had the day off because exams are still going so instead of working on the painting I was supposed to be I went to the library instead to get some other work done. but then I got there and my friends were playing a card game outside so naturally working was postponed while I got objectified ♡ and made fun of for sitting crisscross applesauce but inverse (like a pretzel) ♡ and then we went back in and tried to work but that didn't happen and we got kicked out of the children's section for making too much noise, so we decided to find a cafe to sit down at instead and then we found this trendy hipster-type cafe with mad overpriced coffee that we each bought anyway because they had free wifi and tables that seated 8 so we could continue our card games; instead of working on assignments I decided to work on prints instead but that didnt happen either because I was too busy getting divorced and then coming in second in bluff. and then we got bored of the cafe so we decided to go to a nearby park and be teenage delinquents and along the way we decided to scare the boys in our group but it only worked on one of them :( and we met a very chubby cat who wanted to be petted but it looked kind of feral and we didn't want to end up at the hospital so we went to the park and for some reason spent two hours just making noise like the whole park was next to empty except for eight kids on the swings and for some reason afterwards we were playing duck duck goose but my friend who was the goose didnt know how to play and then two others decided to reenact the idea behind 'bury your gays' and I think at some point we stole my friends sandals and had a throwing competition with them. of course from there it devolved into trying to prove that two of our friends were actually dating (they say they're not but theyre our otp etc etc) (sorry buddy) but I was laughing until I couldnt breath bc we spent an hour analyzing every action the two of them took but then another of our friends had a mental breakdown bc. stress and to cheer them up we may have had a singalong to 30/90 bc andrew garfield ye and it worked and we ended up having a dance party on the library steps until it closed instead of going in like we planned to mostly because you cant have a dance party without music and we probably would have gotten kicked out. anyway even though we have another french paper tomorrow none of us have studied (because you cant really study for it) (but also bc we have collectively given up) but I really needed today after the last two weeks and yeah ☆ I think we may have collectively lost our minds today the 2/2/22 energy was just that strong. thanks for listening ♡