#and the movie is LITERALLY one of the best adaptations for a tv show ive ever seen??? Helloo???

[itsybitsybatsyspider]

don't you just love it when you find an obscure mediocre media that has such an intriguing concept and storyline that has better potential than whatever Marvel's been putting out for the last two years but then go to see that there's no fandom or fan content for it so you're basically vibrating and going feral by yourself in the corner as it rots your brain??

yeah so anyway, have some Max Steel doodles

[grecoromanyaoi]

helloo since we're on the topic: top historical fiction (or adjacent) ? can be any time period I just really love your taste in shows/games/etc and am always on the lookout for history inspired media !

thank you!!! im rly glad im like. inspiring other ppl to engage w things im insane abt hudofajsdfdassfsad. anyways. i will probably expand that list bc i literally forgot every single thing i ever read. also i havent watched that many movies so far

ancient times: i havent really watched a lot of movies/series set in ancient times so far :(

rome HBO (2005-2007) (tv series) - OF COURSE. i personally think its one of the best series ever made. they combine political, miliatry history with the lives of every day people in an incredible way. they never let you once engage with the series through modern lenses. according to my teacher (a historian, archeologist & self described 'romaphile') its incredibly historically accurate, mostly the clothing, set designs, characterization, military practices, etc. except for the things they straight up made up, of course.

i really enjoyed gladiator (2000), i think its a masterpiece.

prince of egypt (1998) i guess?

all the asterix movies of course, all the animated ones and most of the live actions. but i wouldnt really call it historical fiction

ok i havent actually finished watching it for now but sebastiane (1976) - an erotic, x rated, gay interpretation of the martyrdom of st sebastian. its in latin also.

wait i cant believe i forgor about assassin's creed odyssey - so far the only one ive played. its so fun and incredibly immersive visually. especially pour moi who cries into the pillow about how ill never experience the ancient world. also you can b a faggot which is always fun. i have things to say about their portrayal of same-sex sexuality and slavery in classical greece but i get why they did that considering its supposed to like. appeal to a lot of people, and a more "historically accurate" portrayal (for example of pederasty or how common slavery was etc.) would b v difficult for a lot of their target audience. alas.

medieval and early modern era:

the name of the rose (1986) - my medieval history teacher literally showed us bits of this movie to teach us about monasteries and monks fhdosiasdjasd.

the borgias (2011-2013) - incredibly messy, lots of political intrigue, and so so fun to watch. about the history of the borgia family. filled to the brim with drama.

the three musketeers (1993) - my favorite adaptation, also coincidentally the one i grew up on. casting tim curry as richelieu was genius. he slays so hard.

i also like bbc's the musketeers (2014-2016) - a neat little series. very fun and entertaining to watch.

outlaw king (2018) - like i dont think most ppl heard of this movie. its about robert the bruce's fight to reclaim the throne of scotland. starring chris pine

vikings (2013-2020) - its fun. i havent watched the entire series tho. dont expect anything resembling historical accuracy

the northman (2022) - you will see something resembling historical accuracy

mihai viteazul (michael the brave) (1971) - a fun movie. very much romanian propaganda tho.

1670 (2023-) - such a fun series!!! incredible cast, shows respect to the actual history and the lives of historical people. really cute and funny.

caravaggio (1986) - a biopic about caravaggio.

wait i also forgor about pentiment - an intriguing, immersive, and incredibly beautiful video game! it has a lot of 'the name of the rose' vibes, with it being a medieval murder mystery taking place in a monastery. its incredibly touching and made me cry, and in the last few years i very rarely cry. also im 99% sure its an indie game? go support the creators!

vaguely-medieval/early modern fantasy:

mirror mirror (2012) - a retelling of snow white. a very fun movie imo, with incredible costume design. julia roberts plays the evil queen and she SLAYS. armie hammer is unfortunately in that movie.

stardust (2007) - one of my fave movies growing up. more modern-inspired but still.

the green knight (2021) - controversial i know but i actually loved this movie! i liked it both as a standalone movie but moreso as a 21st century adaptation to sir gawain and the green knight.

galavant (2015-2016) - !!!!!!! one of the most series ever! they manage to tackle such difficult concepts and conversations with a hilarious wit. so fun to watch. i listen to a lot of the songs still, and rewatch every once in a while.

disenchantment (2018-2023) - very fun to watch, especially the first season.

i also really liked the novel uprooted by naomi novik. its a polish-inspired fantasy.

modern era:

killers of the flower moon (2023) - of course. a masterpiece

aferim! (2015) - a romanian movie set in 19th century wallachia, about two officers, a father and son, who were sent by a nobleman to retrieve an escaped enslaved romani man. a lot of the people in the comments were calling the movie humorous and funny, maybe im missing smth (as im watching with subtitles n dont understand the original language) but it was a very difficult watch for me??

the handmaiden (2016) - need i say more

black sails (2014-2017) - a prequel to the famous novel 'treasure island'. not an easy series to watch. incredibly good.

the favourite (2018) - need i say more pt 2

the rabbi's cat (le chat du rabbin) (2011) - animated movie set in early 20th century algeria. a rabbi's cat learns to talk overnight.

the nice guys (2016) - a fun murder mystery set in the 1970s

o brother, where art thou (2000) - a retelling of the odyssey set in the southern us in the 1930s

victor/victoria (1982) - set in early 20th century paris. julie andrews pretends to be a man and takes on a job as a drag queen. extremely fun, extremely gay movie.

lady chatterley's lover (2022) - very much porn for moms but it was a nice watch imo

amulet (2020) - set in like. idk. sometime in the 20th century. this is a horror movie, deals a lot with misogyny, sa, and so on. i really like it, personally. a lot of people, mostly weird men, dont tho.

the great (2020-2023) - i have mixed feelings about this show. on the one hand, its really fun to watch. on the other hand, its basically ofmd for girls who have public mental breakdowns whenever someone claims corsets were oppressive. and theyre so weird about russians, jesus christ.

disses:

domina (2021-) - i just couldnt get into it, esp since i tried right after finishing rome hbo. it was kind of silly, and not in a good way. takes itself wayyyy to seriously.

i didnt like spartacus (2010-2013) - the dialogue was almost grotesque and the editing, especially the transitions, straight up killed me

damsel (2024) - holy fuck what a trainwreck of a movie. absolute waste of angela basset and robin wright. the only good thing were the costumes.

lancelot du lac (1974) - i just didnt like it at all. couldnt get into it. i guess it was way too french and artsy fartsy for me. a movie that was trying to say both too little and too much at the same time.

i didnt rly like bram stoker's dracula (1992) - i mean. it was a fine movie. it was definitely not the godfather. the movie itself was meh. the visuals tho? absolutely stunning

[liquidstar]

What the two explosion cliff girls do?

SORRY this has been in my askbox for 3 days and i didnt understand the question but i think i now realize youre asking abt the gifs i made of those anime girls exploding like so

anyway theyre from the anime adaptation of anne of green gables, which ive been watching recently and have come to the conclusion that its actually the superior adaptation of the books (< hasnt read the books in like a decade). if you havent read the books or seen any movies, the redhead is the titular anne shirley and the other girl is her best friend diana berry. as for what they do.... just normal little girl stuff really. they play and they write stories and they talk and sing and dance. theyre literally so cute and sweet im sorry i keep exploding them simply because its funny. i do recomend the series regardless of whether youve read the books though.

if you dont know anything abt the books its literally just about a little girl named anne who gets adopted (sort of by mistake) by a pair of elderly siblings in the countryside who were originally just trying to find an older boy to help on the farm. but they got sent a cute little girl by mistake and decided she was too sweet to give back. the anime adaptation was part of a TV block called "world masterpiece theater" which adapted lots of different books from around the world- if youre familiar with the moomins anime adaptation its from the same block. also if you cant tell by the artstyle it has close ties with studio ghibli, miyazaki actually worked on this particular anime (mostly in backgrounds iirc, you can really tell from some of the Ghibli Hills in the scenery of some episodes)

one thing to keep in mind is that its an old anime (late 70s/early 80s) adapting a book from the 1900s that takes place in the 1890s- though i quite like its "oldschool" vibe because in a way annes village life more closely resembles my own childhood experiences in rural 2000s greece than tv shows set in modern times. weird right? obviously its not a 1:1 but im moreso talking about the social aspects of it than the tech or anything like that.

this is all to say that every now and then you get dialog like this which means something completely different by todays standards

anyway i think that if anne was alive today shed be one of those kids that makes gachaverse videos on youtube

[petruchio]

☕️ thg fandom through the years

hard for me to say because i didn't really engage with it in a fandom-y way until like last year... i feel like for a while i didn't really engage with thg as a fandom because i wasn't a huge fan of the movies and when the movies were coming out that was mostly what people were talking about in online spaces? and also since i was pretty young and inexperienced in the ways of literary analysis, i don't think i would've been able to articulate WHY i liked the books so much, i just knew that i liked them. like i would've loved to talk about them but i don't think i had enough brain development yet to actually be able to distinguish and express that when i was like 14

but overall i think what i have really LIKED about thg discussion/fandom in the past year is that it's very book focused -- that's the same thing i've always appreciated in the pjo fandom, and probably why i am still even on tumblr at all (which is... yeah.) like, because the pjo movies were so bad, the majority of the fandom discussion has always been rooted in the books. (side note but that's why, as excited as i am about there BEING a pjo show [and i am by no means trying to shit on anyone who IS excited about it] i'm not actually super pumped for it to come out because i feel like that was always my favorite thing about the online pjo fandom -- because we didn't really have a good movie adaption, people just kind of ignored it and actually talked about the books. [[but that said, like, ive had plenty of time to talk about the pjo books on tumblr. it's literally been over a decade, so perhaps it's for the best that something new happens and i can be released from my percy jackson prison. it's not really *for* me anymore the way it used to be when i was a kid/teen, and that's okay]])

but yeah that's really all i can say about it, i never really engaged with thg before recently, and it was mostly for that reason. and i know that probably sounds super pretentious of me to be like ~oh i only like talking about actual books~ but i swear i don't mean it that way, it's just that i think that's what's always drawn me to the online spaces i participated in. i just think film and television lend themselves to very different forms of analysis and discussion and fandom and i guess what i'm saying is that i've just always preferred the book focused ones. im not really sure why that is honestly, that's just me!! and it's not to say i DONT like talking about movies and tv (see my recent stranger things meltdown) but in general, the places i have stuck around online are talking about books :)

[taumoeba]

why the percy jackson movies are good, actually:

1) they just are lol

okay but seriously before i get into this let me address the valid criticisms the movies get.

grover is a racist caricature. it was unnecessary and they destroyed his character to make him comic relief. also NO ONE asked for the weird persephone x grover thing in the first film 🤢

very weird unresolved tension between percy and annabeth... “i definitely have feelings for you, i just cant tell if theyre negative or positive” is top 5 worst lines in cinema. they had no business aging up the characters just to ��sex-ify” the film. like we didnt need a gritty/dark version of what is supposed to be a children’s story

they made clarisse skinny 😐

as an adaptation, if you were looking for faithfulness, you didnt find it in the movies. (the musical is a much better adaptation!) like not even the notion of artistic license can excuse chris columbus for changing all that he did. thor freudenthal tried to fix it but by then it was too late. i understand the hatred for the movies based on this. (but at the same time, the sheer level of hate is unwarranted. ill explain later)

????

genuinely cant think of any other reasons they’re bad. i think those cover the main concerns. anyways, HERE IS WHY THE PERCY JACKSON MOVIES ARE GOOD, ACTUALLY:

logan lerman acting king!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i tell you that man EMBODIED the character of percy jackson. i know his legacy has been forever tarnished by the bad reputation of these movies but i also know that everyone praises his work in it bc it is truly one of the best things about the films. like he is genuinely talented! THAT BEING SAID. i dont want to see him as poseidon in the percy jackson disney show. i just know that man is tired of being associated to greek mythology fanfiction. support him by watching his other movies instead please

jake abel, acting king number 2. ive said this before but he was ACTUALLY the perfect luke. the expressions. the delivery of his corny lines. this video. literally iconic behavior!

honestly the cast in general. alexandra daddario, nathan fillion hermes, stanley tucci dionysus, UMA THURMAN MEDUSA???!!!

the soundtrack... need i say more? (i don’t, but i will anyways. first movie featured highway to hell, pokerface, tiktok - not the app. the ke$ha song- among others. second movie featured fall out boy. like they didn’t have to go that hard with the songs but they DID). also they made luke listen to classical music while playing chess in his giant cruise ship’s captain’s quarters... perfect characterization!

rick riordan hates the movies and im sick and tired of that man so by default i love the movies. okay but seriously. i understand feeling insulted by a poorly done adaptation of your life’s greatest work, and i understand not wanting to watch something that is based on your writing. but he has made this grudge so excessive that out of spite im about to start unironically endorsing the films over his books. hes written whole essays griping about his hatred for the movies. which at the same time, is just FURTHER ASSOCIATING YOURSELF TO THE MOVIES! a part of me is convinced that as soon as the disney x fox merger happened, he ran to disney headquarters and started begging them for a tv show just so he could direct his anger towards the movies into something productive. like man WE GET IT! YOU DONT LIKE THE MOVIES!!!

they are.... SO funny???????? im pretty sure even if you havent seen the movies youve heard someone quote it? here are some notable ones:

“this is like high school without the musical”

“this is a pen. THIS IS A PEN!!”

“you can’t kill the janitors! those are working class citizens!”

“you’re burning money? we’re in a recession! that’s treason!!”

“tell me those aren’t sharks.” “....those aren’t sharks.”

that scene where tyson is like... olympus!!!! and percy is like... no...we’re in washington dc.....

“hey! what are you doing? don’t walk on my roof.”

“[starts singing It’s A Small World]”

the visual effects are objectively, pretty good

despite it not being a faithful adaptation, the movies have a decent plot. or at least i was still enthralled while watching them? like disconnect them from the books and its still a (mostly) solid story.

or if you dont want to think about the plot at all, just admit that they’re FUN and ICONIC and DEFINED THE 2010s.

you guys are just haters. the percy jackson movies are good and we deserved the titans curse adaptation. end of discussion

[heather-holloway]

how i, kiara heather-holloway, would plan and write the upcoming live action dylan dog tv show (thats being produced by james wan rn):

OKOK first off. my god. this has to be as comic accurate as it can be. this has to be better than the fucking movie or ill literally d*e oh my god. the movie was so bad and was only dylan dog in name and outfit. 

he needs the clarinet. and not for one scene. gotta have that shitty car, hes gotta be broke, hes gotta live on that craven st, hes gotta have the fucked up doorbell nd hes gotta have that p*lice officer backstory (though i dont want them to go too full into the backstories of the main characters cuz that takes away from the main story of the episode, and is really just unneeded)

this shit will be set in london. but as for the time im kinda on a fence? its always had a timeless sorta feeling, esp as of late with the comics only now starting to establish itself in the 21st century, but i would really like for it to be set in the 80s cuz a lot of the classic comic stories r from the 80s and it would fit in with how old timey he is with his car and movie references

i hope they have the budget to actually get the rights to use groucho marx’ likeness cuz like... the biggest thing the movie was missing was groucho nd even though there was a little easter egg in the beginning of the movie with them dressed like him... it wasnt enough bro, it’s not the same without him :(

if they cant get the rights then i hope they go the felix route, by making him act like groucho and shit but hes not like.. actually groucho i guess

i dont know where this show’ll get distributed, but im hoping netflix, since a 10 episode format (which is what it was confirmed to be) would be perfect on there with all their other shows with short seasons. 

im biased bc i love monster-of-the-week type shows but i think it would be perfect, since the comics are exactly that, where the story is self contained within its episode. i guess they could have some small overarcing story (maybe abt morgana and her tie to dylan?) over the season but idk how something like that could also fit in with the amount of story needed for the monsters and shit

id think itd be perfect if they adapted the first comic “dawn of the living dead” for the first episode of the series, since that comic is the introductory comic for dylan and groucho and how his shit works yknow? the audience could be like following sybil for that first episode as shes asking for their services and is just seeing their BullShit at close hand

idk about the rest of the series, but id love if they adapted the anna never story for an episode tbh

the tone id like for the show would be gothic, with european style of horror, but still crackheaded and bullshittery with grouchos and dylans antics and jokes. i hated what they did in the movie, making it a generic american action horror movie with the club scene of vampires vs werewolves. im so tired of vampires vs werewolves. let this represent european horror and bring that style into american culture Blease

idk who id cast for dylan. someone lanky, british accent definitely, early 20′s/25 maybe. i like brandon routh but hes too old for the part now u_u and honestly, though he kinda looked like dylan in face, he didn’t fit into dylans lanky profile at all. i hope maybe he’ll get a small cameo in the show tho😭 he got did so dirty by that shitty movie

the cast would be revolving, with only dylan and groucho and maybe bloch (if hes in the episode) being the main characters. the romantic interests and side characters for the specific story would last for the episode like in the comics.

this is just for me but id love for there to be a throwaway line about dylan and groucho being married at one point, to reference their marriage in the recent comics

also make the show rated r. i think the titties are the most important part of the comics

while id like for it to be set in london, id also like for it to travel to other places in europe, and take it to interesting scenery nd shit like they always do in the comics. idk how id feel about that one werewolf school story thats set in germany being adapted, but id like to see that german forest scenery lol

there needs to be a few groucho, la pistola! moments where groucho tosses him the pistol ok............also there needs to be the classic pistol

oh and dylan has to say dancing judas at least like 4 times ok .. god

umm for the effects of the monsters, i think itd be best if it was practical, rather than cgi. ive seen netflix’s cgi monsters nd while they work...... the practical effects i think would fit really well in the timeless/80s tone by being like various 80 horror flicks with their practical fx. since the comics were inspired by those classic horror films, like night of the living dead and shit

instead of making dylans personality be the cocky action hero that the movie made him out to be, i... would like for him to still be that jokey loner romantic that he is in the comics, getting himself into trouble cuz he accidentally slept with the monster or the killer or whateva. 

like he’s smart with paranormal shit but he only has 1 braincell and neither him or groucho have it most of the time

oh my god i just realized i hadnt even thought of xabaras ok fuck uhhh OK maybe he is part of the overarcing story. maybe yes he gets introduced in the first episode like hes first introduced the in the first comic. but maybe in the end, with the finale he comes back again, after you thought he was dead but noo ho ho hes alliivee and hes always gonna fuck with you dylan you cant get rid of him. whatever fight happens in the finale, it ends in a sort of draw where maybe dylan thinks he defeated him for good, only for the final scene to be xabaras just chilling, clearly not dead, maybe watching over dylan

(if there was to be a season 2, id like for them to do the “i am your father” reveal then, instead of doing all of that in the first season)

(id actually really like for dylans backstory with the time traveling shit and morgana in the second season to be honest now that i think about it)

the first season can be about the monsters of the week and the second possible season could actually focus more on his character story and how he even got into this shit lol

this show really has the potential to be a really great show that breaks out of the usual horror genre and im going to be SO disappointed when it inevitably becomes like riverdale or sabrina the teenage witch’s unnecessary edgy teen adaptions OR just becomes the generic horror franchise shit that james wan usually fucking does with saw and insidious. 

im really fucking praying that he actually pays attention to the source material and accurately brings the more gothic and european style of horror forward with it, introducing it to a larger american audience... blease for my sake .. i cant do dylan dog: dead of night (2010) again...

[nellygwyn]

hello liv! do you have any recommendations for books + visual media of any kind of the regency era? loved your suggestions for the Stuarts + the Restoration. best wishes.

Hey!!! So, other than ANYTHING and EVERYTHING Jane Austen related (that includes adaptations of her work, biopics, spin-offs, her actual books, books inspired by her work) etc. because that's OBVIOUS, here are some of my favourite movies, shows and books set in the Regency era: Books  • Anything and everything by Georgette Heyer. My favourite book by her, The Black Moth, is actually set in the early 18th century but most of her other works are set in the 1790s and the Regency. • Any books by the author, Erato. Most of them are set during the Regency. She is so talented. • The Dido Kent series by Anna Dean (murder mysteries set in Regency England!) • The Couriers series by Nita Abrams (about an Anglo Jewish family during the Regency era, with quite a lot of focus on the Napoleonic wars) • Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susannah Clarke. Regency era but also alternate history mixed in with magic and magicians and fae people. • I have Naomi Novik's Temeraire series on by 'to read' list because it's historical fiction, set in the Regency era (with focus on the Napoleonic wars again) but is an alternate view of history in that...there are dragons involved in the warfare. • Longbourn by Jo Baker, and I KNOW I said I wouldn't include any Austen spin-offs because it is like, a given that it will all be great but I had to mention this. It's Pride and Prejudice but told from the perspective of the Bennet family's servants (with Bingley's servants and Darcy's servants getting a look in too) • I think I'd be dumb not to mention writers like Courtney Milan and Sarah McLean here too. Films/TV shows • Vanity Fair, but the 2004 movie specifically. I did like the new adaptation but the film takes the cake for me in terms of literally everything. Also, the director, Mira Nair, is Indian and tried to focus some of the movie on Regency England's "relations" with India, particularly through the portrayal of Amelia's nabob brother, Jos. • Bright Star. Film about the Romantic poet, John Keats, and his heartbreaking romance with Fanny Brawne. This film actually kills me, it is so sad...but so good. • Byron, the 2003 miniseries starring Jonny Lee Miller as the man himself. It's a strange one!• A Hazard of Hearts. Very early performance by Helena Bonham Carter. A member of the gentry, addicted to gambling, loses everything, including his daughter. Ends up taking his own life, leaving his daughter in a bit of a limbo period. Drama ensues. • The Secret Diaries of Anne Lister, the miniseries from 2010. Anne Lister was a wealthy and eccentric landowner in Northern England in the late 18th and early 19th centuries and after her very frank diaries were decoded, she has been labelled by historians as the first 'butch lesbian.' This is a great series and also, they are making another TV movie about Anne's life this year, called 'Gentleman Jack' ('Gentleman Jack' is what the locals used to call her, on account of her masculine airs and clothing) • Silas Marner, from 1985 and starring the inimitable Ben Kingsley. Based on George Elliot's novel, which was obviously written in the Victorian era but intended to be set during the Regency era (same with a lot of Dickens' books...in fact, a lot of Dickens could be on this list. Great Expectations, David Copperfield and Little Dorrit being the obvious examples). Really, one of Elliot's supremely underrated stories about a poor man who loses everything, including the will to live, until he finds an orphaned child on his doorstep. I got an old BBC miniseries about George IV (called 'The Prince Regent') for Christmas but haven't watched it yet. And I also got a film about Grace Dalrymple Elliot, one of George IV's mistresses, and a British spy during the French Revolution. I also haven't watched that yet, but it's called The Lady and the Duke. 

[chengf]

hellooooo can I have some movie recs? Blease

heloooo anna ur back!! hope ur exams went well

the propasal- aka the best romcom. i don’t make the rules. 

we’re the millers- this film is so fucking wild idk what happens asksal 

miss congeniality- sandra bullock’s best film tbh also she’s kickass and sexy in this.

nightcrawler- one of jake yillenhoolahey’s best films and i’m a big sucker for thriller films so this is a MUST.

black swan- again underrated thriller film. really felt the struggle of natalie portman’s character to achieve perfection. 

girl’s trip- it’s so good i’m literally in tears half the time watching it ksadjkls

memoirs of a geisha - it’s a bit slow at times but it’s a really beautiful film :( 

ghajini- if ur feeling spicy for bollywood then this film literally is the only film to make me fucking sob like literaly tears and i never cry at films. 

another cinderella story - the selena gomez version bc it’s the best cinderella adaptation imo. 

the orphan, anabelle creations, us- if ur feeling the horror vibes

sorry if this no help ;;; ive been more on my tv show hype but hope there is one or two that pique your interest!! 

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, 2018 (dir. Joel Coen, Ethan Coen)

Nominated for: Best Original Song, Best Costume Design, Best Adapted Screenplay

SPOILER ALERT THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD ME HEARTIES BE YE WARNED

wowee what a cool film!!  i went into this not knowing much about it except it was directed by the Coen brothers (directors of Fargo and The Big Lebowski) which set real high expectations for me.  these guys are real masters of storytelling and what immediately come to mind when i think of movies that know how to effectively use dark humor.  i also love the kinds of stories they tell in general, how they take subjects and settings that seem kinda mundane and just give them this little extra spark. 

so is this newest film just as good as their other work???  well id say yeah for sure!!!  it reminds me a lot of a film they did shortly after The Big Lebowski called O Brother, Where Art Thou?, because theyre both period pieces AND because they both feature a myriad of eclectic and interesting characters.  the one thing that makes The Ballad of Buster Scruggs really stand out from their other films however is the fact that this is actually an anthology made up of six different stories, all set during the same time period in The Wild West.  its also worth mentioning that this movie was made to premiere on Netflix, which is something ive started to see more and more as the streaming platform becomes the new go-to source of media content.  its very exciting to see such prolific directors go the Netflix route and have great success with it, because it means that the platform really is capable of creating high-quality movies and TV shows and working with big-name talent.  im sure the big hollywood production companies are all quaking in their lil booties cause this means big BIG changes are on the horizon

ok so ive reviewed anthology series before, notably Black Mirror, and with those reviews i ranked the short stories in order of least to most favorite.  so i guess in this case ill do the same, although its hard to really rank these cause i truly enjoyed all of them in different ways.  there was one however that didnt really tickle my fancy much, which was “Near Algodones”.  this one stars james franco as a bank robber who seems to have met his match in a fiery (probably crazy) bank teller.  he gets caught and hung from a tree by the town’s sheriff, but nearly manages to escape death when a Native American tribe swoops in and kills the sheriff and his crew.  james franco is saved by a cattle driver, only to be caught again by the next town’s sheriff for allegedly trying to hawk the cattle (which was not the case at all).  right before they kick the chair out from under him at the hanging, he sees a beautiful woman in blue, who at first smiles at him but then looks unnerved as he stares back at her. 

i think with this one the ending really didnt do much for me, i kinda didnt get it.  i did understand the whole irony behind surviving punishment for a crime he DID commit but getting hanged for a crime he never committed, and the bank teller was pretty hilarious, but everything else about the segment was just ok.  james franco didnt really blow me away (he never really does but thats besides the point), the rest of the performances were fine, and the story just kinda zipped on through.  maybe ill give this one another watch to see if the ending makes any more sense to me, or if theres any sense to be made from it at all

next up for me would be “The Gal Who Got Rattled”, and this segment i have mixed feelings over.  its about this brother and sister who set out on the Oregon trail so that the brother can get his sister to marry his business partner in Oregon.  the sister seems like a kind of wishy-washy, subdued character who just kinda goes along with whatever her brother says without giving much of her own opinion.  i gotta give credit to zoe kazan (who starred in The Big Sick) cause she does a great job with this character, totally spot-on performance.  ok so turns out the brother is a fucken HORRIBLE businessman who screws up all his business deals all the time, and he tragically dies like two days into being on the oregon trail.  he has this annoying-ass dog that barks all the time and everyone else on the caravan is sick of it, so when the brother dies the sister just lets one of the trail leaders put it down.  turns out the sister like did not like her brother at all but was always too afraid to say anything.  now getting back to the bad businessman thing, apparently he had promised the helper boy that is helping move their covered wagon a large sum of money, half of it halfway through the journey and the rest when they get to oregon.  problem is, the sister doesnt have the money, so it was either left in the brothers pocket when he was buried or there wasnt actually any money at all and he lied, y’know, like a bad businessman does.  the trail leader who put the annoying dog down offers to help her, and the two start to get close.  so now its like a pseudo love story thing.  except it ends pretty tragically (the sister dies its a long story and pretty ironic just watch it if u wanna know)

so uuuhhhhh this one was long as shit, like a lot longer than the other segments when it didnt really need to be???  like it just kept  going and going, and again the ending didnt really make up for how long it was.  i really liked zoe kazan in this, but otherwise nothing to write home about. 

number four on my list would have to go to “All Gold Canyon”, which basically just follows the story of a gold miner in the mountains trying to get that money honey.  this segment is the simplest one out of the bunch, but i gotta say its absolutely gorgeous.  what beautiful scenery and cinematography.  it provides a nice contrast to our disheveled, run-down gold miner who is just tearing up the beautiful grassy fields trying to get to this gold.  there seems to be a theme in this one of man’s relationship to nature, and how the gold miner does put in effort to respect it but still takes advantage of it for his own benefit.  and i guess theres a broader theme of greed, or the ruthless and endless pursuit of wealth which can drive people to do crazy and desperate things.  i definitely really enjoyed this one, especially the gold miner character played by tom waits.  but otherwise it didnt stand out as much to me as the other segments im gonna talk about

SPEAKING OF WHICH heres number three!!  “The Mortal Remains” is right up my alley, and has some more mythical elements to it than the other segments ive talked about so far.  so we have a wagon full of passengers all going to this hotel for various reasons, and its a really diverse cast of characters: we have the older wife of a prolific religious lecturer, a rich Frenchman, a trapper, a foppish Englishman, and a cheery laid-back Irishman, the last two seeming to be companions of some sort.  they all get on the topic of the true nature of mankind, and the three characters opposite of the strange pair all have something different to say.  the trapper believes that all people are inherently the same, with the same basic needs.  the older woman disagrees and insists that there are two kinds of people, upright and sinning.  and then the Frenchman says that both of them are wrong, that human existence is much more complicated and nuanced than that; no one persons life is exactly the same as another’s.  and then we have the Englishman and the Irishman, who turn out to be bounty hunters of some sort (is heavily alluded that they are grim reaper-type figures).  they explain their method of completing their kills, and talk about how they enjoy watching their victims “try to make sense of it all” in their death throes.  these two clearly have a much more cold and sinister idea of the nature of mankind, and the rest become very unsettled all the way to the hotel.  no one else even dares to step out of the carriage while the bounty hunters drag their latest victim through the front entrance and up the stairs.

oh man this segment was great!  i think the reason its third on my list is cause i really wish there was more to it, like if the Coen brothers spent more time on this one instead of “The Gal Who Got Rattled” it would be perfect.  Jonjo O’Neill and Brendan Gleeson as the bounty hunters were so enthralling, and i loved watching them play off of each other.  hell, i couldve had a whole movie featuring those two.  and the screenwriting really shines in this segment too.  this segment almost feels like a fable or something, which is really fitting for the time period.  makes me wonder if they had based it off of an actual fable.  but anyway yeah this ones awesome!

i had a hard time choosing between “The Mortal Remains” and this next segment for second place cause i liked them both equally, but in the end “Meal Ticket” gets #2 purely because of the utterly fantastic performance by Harry Melling, who plays a quadriplegic actor in a traveling show run by liam neesons character, an irish traveling entertainer.   the story itself is really simple, we just see this disabled actor be carted from one town to the next, doing the same stage show which is basically just him reciting famous prose throughout the ages.  meanwhile liam neeson is trying to get as much money as he can out of the audience members.  he doesnt interact much with harry melling outside of feeding him and helping him piss and get dressed.  u get the sense that he doesnt really see his disabled actor as an actual person, but more of an entertaining object or a pet.  and this becomes even more apparent when the irishman gets some competition from another traveling entertainer who has a chicken that can do math.  he sees this chicken getting more money than him, so he buys it off of the other guy and takes it with him.  and finally, the poor limbless actor is literally and figuratively tossed aside for the next best thing.

man oh man what a great segment!  harry melling blew me away with his performance, the fact that he was able to get such a nuanced range of emotion out of the few lines he was given (basically he had to recite the same shit over and over again) was so impressive to me.  and his non-verbal communication was really solid too.  liam neeson did really well in his role too.  and again the story itself is really great, simple but effective and really gets the point across without having to beat the audience over the head with its message. OH YEAH ITS REAL GOOD LOVE IT

and finally we have my #1 pick, which i think the directors knew this was the best one out of the bunch too cause its the first segment as well as the title of the whole movie.  “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” has that signature Coen brothers wit and dark humor that i love, it plays off of typical Western movie tropes and is very tongue-in-cheek and i ate that shit up.  tim blake nelson as the titular buster is just so fucken perfect for this role, he really shines in this and its kind of a shame that its one of the shorter segments cause it really is the best one and he knocks it out of the park.  we got some great music in this segment too, which is where that Best Original Song nom comes in.   this one also has some strong fable-y vibes to it, like this story could be amongst the likes of American folklore like Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed.  i wont get much into the plot of this one but i highly recommend watching it, even if you dont wanna see the rest of the segments. 

the segments fit together pretty well overall, although the tone of each of them differs slightly the fact that the setting and time period are the same is enough to firmly knit all these stories together.  its a really unique idea for a movie, and is so far the best attempt at an anthology movie that ive ever seen purely because the stories really all make sense together and play off of each other well.  in other anthology movies ive seen like The ABC’s of Death the segments usually dont have much at all to do with each other, except that they all fall in the same genre.  so overall id say give this a watch, especially if ur a Coen brothers fan, cause theres some real good stuff in here.

well thats all i got for now cowboys!!  i watched Roma the other day and CRIED REAL HARD so get ready for me to kiss that movies ass in a review that should be done in the next few days.  until then go uuhhhhhh lasso a cow or something.  chew some tobaccy.  fondle a barmaids titties.  die of dysentery.  y’know just old west things~

[gdelgiproducer]

DOTV AU: An Exercise in Alternate History (Part VII)

Parts I, II, III, IV, V, and VI offer more detailed context. (To briefly sum up why these posts are happening: alt history – as in sci fi, not “alternative facts” – buff, one day got the idea that DOTV could have turned out hella different if Jim Steinman looked for a star lead in other places, decided to reason out how that might work.) This is still getting a good response, so I’m gonna keep the train rolling.

Parts of the AU timeline established so far:

Instead of stopping at recording two songs from Whistle Down the Wind on a greatest hits compilation, Meat Loaf wound up taking more of an interest in Steinman’s new theater work than he did in our timeline, and through a series of circumstances found himself volunteering to play Krolock in the impending DOTV when Jim poured out his woes to him about needing to find some sort of star to attract investors. At a loss for any better ideas, Jim accepted Meat’s impulsive proposal, but not without resistance from his manager, David Sonenberg, who proposed Michael Crawford as an alternate candidate. Through quick thinking on Meat’s part, and inspiration on Jim’s, Crawford left the room accepting an entirely different role than he walked in hoping to get, leaving Krolock still open for Meat.

There was a brief speed bump, when Meat disliked Jim’s English script for the show, but after meeting with the original German author Michael Kunze and convincing Jim to compromise, things were on the road to being back on track… at least until 9/11 occurred.

Following a brief hiatus, everyone involved met to re-assess their options. The current game-plan was to put the new script on paper, schmooze with potential investors or producers, and put together a new creative team. Preferably not all at the same time, but with the crunch on, they’d do whatever needed to be done.

So far, the schmoozing has gone well, but everybody that Meat, Jim, and the crew would like to be involved is tentative. The newest conclusion is that they need to show them there’s a working show, and a concert of selections from the score seems to be the route they’re taking, possibly financed by an unlikely source.

Continuing the alternate DOTV timeline, a little differently this time! This time we get a feature on the concert from the New York Post’s own Michael Riedel. Take it away!

VAMPIRES: NEW MUSICAL BLOOD by Michael Riedel

If you’ve heard the buzz on the Rialto of late, you’d be forgiven for wondering if you were having a particularly nasty acid flashback. Dance of the Vampires, a new $15 million musical of the macabre based on the 1967 Roman Polanski movie The Fearless Vampire Killers, is already a monster hit in Austria and Germany, and it’s starting to gather steam here in the States as well, with some... we’ll call it unlikely... star power attached. After all, what other musical (even in a preliminary concert presentation) can boast Courtney Love as an emcee slash investor, and such disparate names as Meat Loaf and Michael Crawford as co-headliners?

Admittedly, Meat Loaf’s presence is slightly less surprising, as the driving force behind the show is Jim Steinman, who wrote Mr. Loaf’s classic Bat Out of Hell albums as well as the lyrics for Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Whistle Down the Wind.  He has written the score and is co-adapting the book for Vampires with playwright David Ives (All in the Timing), who is also currently at work with Steinman for Warner Bros. on a musical version of Batman, from German dramatist Michael Kunze’s original script. He also co-directed this concert with Starmites composer Barry Keating, though early reports that Steinman would be co-directing the eventual Broadway run with Jane Eyre creator John Caird have ultimately been dismissed.

“Roman directed it in Vienna, but he can’t work here because of his legal problems,” Steinman said, referring to Polanski’s indictment for statutory rape in the 1970′s. “He may be the first director who can’t work over here because of a statutory rape charge.” When queried about who then would be directing the New York run, Steinman was tight-lipped, but among those in attendance at the evening’s proceedings was Urinetown’s Tony-winning helmer, John Rando, who is now rumored to be in talks for the slot. Said Rando of the new show, “It takes the vampire myth and pokes fun at it, but it also embraces it. Its message is about the excesses of appetite. It has wit and an edge to it. I’d love to be involved!”

The presentation (at the 499-seat Little Shubert Theatre, about half a mile west of Broadway; events like this cause us rightfully to wonder why it doesn’t see more use) for a by-invitation-only crowd was kicked off by Ms. Love, Hole rocker and widow of Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain, in memorable form. Says a source in attendance, “You could sum it up in two words: too drunk. She was literally falling over. She wasn’t coherent at all.” Managing to gather herself enough to announce that Dance of the Vampires is a musical for people “who think musicals suck,” she didn’t manage to say much else of importance. “It just became a little too sloppy, and she was removed.” Insiders report that Steinman’s manager, David Sonenberg, who is also one of the show’s producers (and a first-timer at that), worried that those involved would be seen as taking advantage of a troubled addict. Ms. Love’s performance did little to dispel this perception. Lucky that representatives from noted L.A.-based promoter Concerts West, major music manager Irving Azoff (who numbers The Eagles, REO Speedwagon, Journey, Christina Aguilera, and Sammy Hagar among his clients), film and music mogul Jerry Weintraub, and Broadway’s own Barry and Fran Weissler were in attendance; a cash infusion from such sources may well be needed to save face if she can’t “live through this,” to twist a phrase from her 1994 album of the same name.

In addition to Sonenberg, already attached to Vampires on the producing side are Andrew Braunsberg (another first-timer, who also produced Polanski’s 1971 film version of Macbeth), Leonard Soloway, Bob Boyett (Sweet Smell of Success, Topdog/Underdog), Lawrence Horowitz (Electra, It Ain’t Nothing But the Blues), and Barry Diller and Bill Haber’s USA Ostar Theatricals. Boyett, a TV producer turned legit entrepreneur, used the phrases “trial by fire” and “going to war,” perhaps because while some novice producers just put up the money, get the credit and run, Boyett says he’s been taking the process very seriously: “I went to all the meetings and learned, like it was grad school.” While some Hollywood types find Broadway “less cutthroat,” Boyett finds it “more restrictive.” He mentions the sheer physical space of the theaters but also all the rules and regulations: "I’ve dealt with unions all my life, but I do find Actors’ Equity is very restrictive to the creative process.” Further, he regrets that Vampires will not have an out-of-town tryout. “I loved the experience of taking Sweet Smell of Success to Chicago,” he says with real enthusiasm, as if the project ended happily. “It was helpful to have the critics say what they did.” Not that Boyett thinks the right message from the critics got to the creative team. 

As for Boyett’s teammates, Bill Haber attended on behalf of USA Ostar, and although he wouldn’t consent to a formal interview, he couldn’t resist answering one question -- and it has nothing to do with Dance of the Vampires. Why is Haber’s other fall production, Imaginary Friends by Nora Ephron, being called a play if it has six songs by Marvin Hamlisch and Craig Carnelia? “It has nothing to do with how many songs there are,” he shot back. “It has to do with the fact that if you took all the songs out, it still works and you still have a play.”

And all this before we even get to the show itself. Vampires is your typical erotic musical about an innocent girl (played this evening by impressive newcomer Mandy Gonzalez, currently standing by for the role of Amneris in Aida and late of Off-Broadway’s Eli’s Comin’) choosing between two lovers, in this case an older, aristocratic vampire (Loaf, whose appearance here marks the first time he has worked with Steinman in theater since the early Seventies) and a hunky young grad student (Max von Essen, who reportedly also appeared in the Steinman/Caird-helmed reading in April 2001) under the tutelage of a rather intensely wacky vampire hunter (Crawford). Given the level of Loaf’s obvious commitment to the piece, it is surprising that his manager (Allen Kovac, of Left Bank Management) was a no-show, and in that light, rumors that Loaf has yet to formally sign on the dotted line for Vampires (in spite of previous announcements to the contrary, no less) prove even more curious. Calls to Kovac’s office were not returned. The rest of the cast, boasting some fine voices indeed, was filled out by assorted Broadway names and members of Meat Loaf’s long-time touring band, The Neverland Express, which also provided accompaniment for the evening under the crisp musical direction of veteran rock bassist Kasim Sulton (best known for his work with Todd Rundgren and Utopia, among others).

Speaking of the music: the score, as per Steinman’s usual style, is appropriately big and Wagnerian, with plenty of luscious, operatic melodies, including one familiar favorite that sticks out like a sore thumb: Steinman’s famous “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” under whose operatic pretensions I swooned as a teenager. “I couldn’t resist using it,” he says of a song that goes, ‘Once upon time there was light in my life / But now there’s only love in the dark.’ “I actually wrote it for another vampire musical that was based on Nosferatu, but never got produced.” Close listening to the CD sampler for interested investors also reveals a rehash of the vigorous “Tonight Is What It Means to Be Young,” his song for the film Streets of Fire, which I saw in Los Angeles in 1984 and sent me racing along Mulholland Drive to keep up with the propulsive beat.

As for the new stuff, maybe 50′s rock ‘n’ roll with a 70′s preen isn’t what the 80-year-olds who constitute Broadway’s audience want to hear (and Jim’s rock-mock-Wagnerian shtick admittedly tends to play better in London and Las Vegas than in Manhattan), but my sources say they knew from the first number --  an angelic trio with a beguiling (what did they used to call it?) melody and some expert (the Andrews Sisters used to do it) harmony -- that this would be my kind of score. Frankly I’m glad; since the prehistoric vinyl days, Steinman has been the guy I keep calling for to rejuvenate, or just plain juvenate, the Broadway musical, in a world where the musical theater establishment pronounces old ABBA records a hip pop sound.

The book, while reportedly in better shape than the April reading, is something else again. From the excerpts on display last night, the mix of bawdy humor and eroticism still needs fine-tuning. Says Sonenberg, “By the time we open, it will be a new version of the show, significantly changed with a view toward a New York audience, but right now it plays very much like the original in several respects.” Adds David Ives, “The German production is probably more faithful to the film, but it’s a fairly humorless show, with people getting hit on the head with salami. And I’ve been brought in to take out the salami and put in the chorus girls, without veering into camp in the process. Now it’s just a question of finding the balance, which, needless to say, isn’t easy. But I like what we’ve accomplished so far: Meat’s character is vastly different, a much more multifaceted, dynamic, complete figure. We’ve also made other changes and cuts and restructured the show into a book musical, with dialogue; the original is all sung. I think we’ve made it a much more interesting story.”

Time, as always, will be the ultimate arbiter of fate.

[punyhero]

░░░░░  ＳＩＴ ＤＯＷＮ ＫＩＤＤＯＳ!

                                                               it'ร ʀɑɳt t i ɱ ɛ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓

««« bυt blαckfiรн, wнy diddyα cнσσรє тσ fσяgєт мcυ!ρєтєя? »»»

the short answer is simple: bc i’m a BORING grouchy ass.

the long answer is down below: it’s like i’m boring but i have reasons, ok.

hello my dear followers! as you may have noticed by the funny letters in the beginning, it’s time for your friendly neighbourhood rper talk a little bit about something that bugs the shit out of her, first of all, i’d like for you to take into consideration the fact that i’m boring. like, i’m fucking boring and i tend to look closely to little mistakes that may or may not destroy my whole cinematic experience. second, i want y’all to know that i’m adhd and spider-man is a part of my life - in some instance, i’m him. and i’ve researched a lot about how adhders can get interested in things - there is something named hyperfocus, when you think A LOT about something, and a common nomenclature is special interest. so, before you say ‘’but bfish, you’re overreacting....’’ remember that this hero is one of the reasons i got over many hard times in my life. remember that.

so let’s go, get your popcorn, your soda, your spider-man comic (or avengers dvd, idk what’s your preference) and let’s swing right into the queens borough that is my hyperactive and passionate mind.

i hated homecoming. nowadays, i can say that with all the words. i hated homecoming. but, no, i don’t hate tom holland - in fact, i love him and he is an angel. i also met him and laura harrier in may and he signed my copy of spidey! the problem in the movie is far from him - he is a talented and sweet boy that deserves the world. but, unfortunately, his peter was poorly written. before you all start calling this brazilian ass names, let me explain the reasons why i think it was terrible. 

i. 〈〈 the complete erasement of uncle ben. 〉〉

no, my friends, that doesn’t mean that i wanted to see uncle ben dying and tom crying just as andrew and tobey did. no i didn’t want that, just as much as i didn’t want a flashback in batman vs. superman showing the death of the waynes. but the fact is, when a fact is important, you can’t simply forget that. i’m not saying i wanted a flashback, but i wanted ben’s death to have consequences on peter &&. may’s lives. honestly, i doubt the wise man even said to his nephew the most famous words in the story of comic books: 〈〈 with great power, there must also come great responsibility. 〉〉 in this interview, screenwriters revealed that the motto would feature, but in a peculiar way.

‘‘At the end when Happy [Jon Favreau] is in the boy’s room in school we had him say, ‘Oh yeah, Tony wanted me to tell you, “With great power comes… something, I forgot,”‘” Goldstein tells Yahoo Movies. “It was a little too meta.”

literally, they’d make happy tell peter the most iconic quote in the history of comic books in the wc and who’d be quoted? or almost quoted? yeah, tony stark. the new uncle ben. we see in the movie that ben’s death has llittle effect on peter’s maturity - he is still dumb and selfish, he still fucks things up without thinking in the responsibilities. mcu!ben is not the ben we know. it’s funny how they undeveloped the character that showed up in civil war: in that point, i was certain that tom holland would be way better than tobey once was as peter, and better than andrew was as spider-man. but he wasn’t, and that was a major turn down. in civil war, we see him fighting against experienced people, using his powers and saying basically this in other words. what happened to this peter? to the peter that showed traits of adhd and autism, to the peter that knew that with great powers, came great responsibilites, to the peter that loved may and didn’t want her to suffer. what happened?

ii. 〈〈 dad stark is the worst concept ever, fite me. 〉〉

i don’t get why people fetishize this shit so much. let me get into details over here: in case you’ve never read the comics, tony stark made peter’s life a living hell. why? because he betrayed him. tony, who peter was trying to see as a new sort of father, betrayed his trust and made him fight and stand for ‘’team stark’’, even though parker thought that shit wouldn’t happen. what happened to aunt may was tony’s fault. he manipulated peter, and, when the later noticed what happened and tried to back down, tony was furious. furious because he lost his puppet. steve said that tony would do anything in his power to take peter down after he openly exposed stark’s intentions in tv.

why is this relationship so terribly adapted? because rdj has charisma. people love him, people buy his merch. tony stark in the cinema is not the tony stark of the comics, he is robert downey jr. in a fucking iron suit. nothing more, nothing less. and the public loves that. tony stark, canonically, was about to be peter’s ‘’father’’, but he couldn’t. because you can’t replace a father like that! even more after the trauma that peter went through, being the cause of ben’s death. peter tried to find a father in tony, but it was impossible: tony used him, trashed him, manipulated him as a puppet, made his family a target of villains. 

there were hints of this relationship in civil war - like when tony threatens to blackmail him to aunt may and kidnapps him to fight among grown and trained adults. after all of that, stark left peter bruised and hurted in his legal guardian’s footsteps. he was done with him. and somehow, the fans didn’t get it. they love to victimize their dear tony stark - they can only see through black & white, forgetting that stark is not a hero, nor a villain. he is more of an anti-hero, when parker is a hero. the fans drawn fanarts, said he was son to stony/pepperony (oh my god idk which one of those is the worse). and marvel liked that - they wanted fanservice, and the studio gave them this.

the father to peter parker is and will ever be benjamin parker, husband to may parker (née reilly). the good and wise man who tried his best to deal with his teenager nephew, his stubborn and tempestuous nephew. the stans will come at me and say that it doesn’t matter anymore, ben is dead and tony is alive. but imma pull a quentyn martell here and ask you a thing: what matters the most? men’s life or their deaths?

iii. 〈〈 peter parker is team cap, period. 〉〉

from the day ben parker died and on, peter learned a lot of things. the youth promissed to always use his powers when he can, to act with justice. otherwise, the fault would be his. peter loves captain america, he is his idol - not iron man. may parker, his aunt, grew up in a generation when the sentinel of liberty was a symbol of resistance against nazi intolerance - and she most certainly passed it to peter.

he and tony may share technology talent, but steve and peter share much more. they share an idea - the idea of freedom, justice and good-will. it’s more than money, it’s a matter of honor. in the comics, he switched sides when noticed tony’s real intentions, and, taking the point that he said that beautiful quote in civil war, it’s more than a consumated fact that peter parker would be a member of team cap if he had had a choice.

peter parker didn’t know what he was fighting for, plus his appearence in civil war was a mere fanservice. it didn’t fit well, he was 100% not needed there. the hypocrite stark took him to a fight that wasn’t his to fight among trained adults AND, if that wasn’t already enough, didn’t tell him what he was fighing for. ‘’something about making cap mad.’’, i love how they explicitly throw the fact that tony manipulated peter in our face, and yet people deny to acknowledge this. your favorite character made a dick move, it won’t hurt if you admit that, friend o’ mine.

iv. 〈〈 aunt may is fucking hot. do you see it? SHE IS FUCKING HOT! 〉〉

yes, aunt may is hot and different from the version we had in the comics. is that a problem to me? hell, no. she is aunt may, not grandmom may. she can be young without any issue. the problem is the big deal they made of it. in the first scenes of the movie, we’re introduced to a said-nice joke of tony stark where he talked about may being sexy in front of her nephew. people don’t really get how stupid that is, right?

there are two moments more where i wanted to shove a knife up my ass. mr. dalmar saying, in spanish, how hot the descendant of italians is (oh my god that was so creepy WHY ARE YOU THIS WAY WHY GOD PLEASE WHY), and peter answering in an unusual &&. cunning way, asking how his daughter was (in spanish, of course. sex appeal, friends.) this is sexist as fuck. and also that ‘’larb’’ scene, i’m not even gonna get started because it’s so terrible. oh, you truly see how cool it is for a woman to be harrassed by many men because she looks hot. yeah, cool.

can you guys believe that aunt may was supposed to have a boyfriend in this movie? exactly. nine months after ben died. nine months. may dated a guy (that actually was really old and died) in the comics 100 issues after that event, and got married 500 issues later, to j. jonah jameson’s father, jj. she didn’t get over the loss of her husband that easily. no one does, unless you deeply wanted the person to die. now answer me, may (without aunt, cuz she is too young to receive this kind of treatment. have you ever imagined a hot aunt? unbelievable. she is just may.), did you want the love of your life to die?

v. 〈〈 progressive, but not so. 〉〉

queens is a diverse borough. i’ve read tweets of actual people that live there saying how there was only one white kid in a class of many students, or on how many filipinxs, latinxs & blacks over there. that is a thing i liked in the movie! it’s not the 60′s anymore, there has got to be non-white people in midtown. flash as a latino was quite nice, and so was liz. two charismatic characters and actors that i loved so much.

but the problem envolves ned &&. michelle, mj, whoever she is, i don’t care. ned is an amalgama of betty brant’s husband and hoblgoblin, ned leeds and miles morales’s best friend, ganke. he is the comic relief of the movie - the one that praises the hero, that wants to be like him. a movie that says that breaks a lot of stereotypes made a fucking poc fat character that is nothing but a comic relief. we don’t feel any character depth in ned, we don’t know anything of his family, he lives basically in peter’s function, the white standard boy being served by the poc fat boy. you get how progressive that shit is?

and also i’m going to touch a delicate topic over here: michelle. i’m not going to get in the merit wether she is mary jane or not, but i know one thing: she is a badly written stereotype. she is everything white straight sexist man think we, geek feminist women, are. she seems like she doesn’t take a bath, is always angry and grouchy. she bullies peter and stalks him, and, shockingly, even though zendaya was in every single piece of marketing and promotional tour, she had nothing in the movie, but four fucking minutes of ‘’empowering’’ jokes for the female viewers to ‘’identify’’ with. 

wonder why that’s this way? homecoming had eight screenwriters (that will, unfortunately, return to homecoming 2), and guess what? all of them are white men that see female nerds as nothing but a comic relief, right? that see feminists as grumpy and dirty. and i’d bet 10 good reais (brazilian local money) that she is gonna go through an awesome transformation to show female empowerment and date the protagonist. 

the name of the movie is spider-man: homecoming, but could be spider-man: hypocrisy.

vi. 〈〈 'nuff said. 〉〉

well, that’s it. i felt like i needed to take it off my chest, you know. as a spider-man fan, a lot of things in homecoming bugged me, and i disliked the movie so much. please, i ask you not to attack me. people are allowed to have different views from yours, that is ok. 

the conclusion of all this rant is that: tobey is my peter, andrew is my spider-man and tom is my idol as an actor. only that. the five reasons above are why i won’t include this mcu mess into my verses.

[pirirps]

Piri’s Ultimate List Of Horror Recs (2017 Version)

my go-to compilation of ever single horror/horror-related media i’ve ever enjoyed, including slashers, paranormal, thrillers, creature features, and much, much more 🎃

note: this list has trigger warnings but i am operating under the assumption that you are okay with the standard level of explicit sexuality, vulgarity, violence, and gore present in mainstream horror

horror

original nightmare on elm street series, but especially 1, 3, 4, 6, and freddy vs. jason (tw for implied pedophilia and explicit child murder, tw for rape in #6)

friday the 13th (original and remake)

honestly all the friday the 13th sequels are A Treasure but if you want The Core Canon watch 1-3

my bloody valentine (original)

psycho (original) and tbh all its sequels (tw for sort-of-kind-of incest vibes)

psycho ii and psycho iv are my favorites because (1) meg tilly is adorable in psycho ii and (2) psycho iv has a harley quinn/norman bates cameo and nobody can convince me otherwise

child’s play, child’s play 2, bride of chucky, maybe some sequels after that idk i haven’t seen them yet :(

scream franchise

not the mtv scream series

i mean s1 is decent but there are definitely other horror shows that i would recommend more (will show up later in this post)

1-3 are the best, 4 is worth watching if you really like the characters but as a concept the series has p much run its course by then

tw for rape mentions in scream 1 and 3

predator

peeping tom

kenneth branagh’s frankenstein (tw for a graphic depiction of death in childbirth)

james whale’s frankenstein

bride of frankenstein

the phantom of the opera (1925)

the phantom of the opera (1989) (tw for mild body/surgical horror, general grossness; personally speaking, this is one of my all-time favorite phantom adaptations, because 1. robert englund as the phantom hello oh my god, 2. although it’s much more of a slasher movie than a gothic romance, it does an amazing job of portraying the tragedy in erik’s backstory and his attraction to christine, without implying that he is entitled to christine’s affection and that her love will magically fix him, as some phantom adaptations do)

the phantom of the opera (1943)

alien franchise

the wolfman (2010)

darling (tw for rape)

house on haunted hill (original and remake)

final destination franchise

medium raw: night of the wolf (tw for pedophilia and child murder)

the babadook

the final girls [horror comedy]

the shining (tw for implied child abuse)

the cabin in the woods

hellraiser (tw for incest-y vibes for very brief periods of time)

heathers (tw for eating disorders, suicide, everything high school kids are insensitive assholes about)

from dusk til dawn

an american werewolf in london

the guest

it follows (tw for dubious consent)

nightwatch (tw for implied necrophilia/descriptions of necrophilia, self-mutilation)

re-animator (tw for rape, pedophilia mentions)

carrie (original) (tw for child abuse, religious iconography)

the remake had some interesting like... subtext/imagery but other than that it was pretty *wet fart noise*

the awakening

the craft

the blair witch project

honestly i loved the book of shadows: blair witch 2 bc it kind of parallels the crucible but i can admit that objectively it is Terrible

elvira, mistress of the dark [spooky comedy]*

american mary (tw for rape, (consensual surgical) genital mutilation)

fright night (original and remake)

jaws

listen. this is a horror movie. it was a horror book before that. it was specifically written and later adapted for the purpose of scaring and entertaining people. real life is nothing like this. real sharks are nothing like this. there’s nothing wrong with this movie scaring you but there is everything wrong with using this movie as an excuse to advocate for the wholesale slaughter of animals. sharks are quite possibly the most graceful and beautiful creatures on this earth and i will personally fight anyone who says otherwise

halloween franchise

1-5 are the best imo but no matter what skip #3 because it literally has nothing to do with any of the other movies

not the rob zombie remakes, those are awful

let the right one in [swedish (?) film, watch with subtitles]

rosemary’s baby (original)

night of the living dead (original)

28 days later

suspiria

silent hill (tw for child molestation)

crimson peak (tw for incest)

the lost boys

interview with the vampire

the ring

one missed call

the raven (2012)

repo! the genetic opera

teeth (tw for rape, incest, it’s??????? about a girl who literally has razor-sharp teeth in her vagina and it’s a very tongue-in-cheek commentary on religious repression???? so idk like it’s a wild ride and i love it but watch at your own discretion)

american psycho (tw for rape, general misogyny)

sweeney todd

speaking from experience, this is much better live, the movie sucked out all the fun and humor that wasn’t literally written into the lyrics, so i recommend watching the original broadway cast on youtube or something

there’s also a 1936 movie which i haven’t seen so i can’t speak to its quality BUT i would recommend it on the basis of it being made before the musical was created and thus being based more directly on “the string of pearls” novel which is where the sweeney todd urban legend was originally documented

abott and costello meet [insert universal horror monster here] [spooky comedy]

little shop of horrors (original and remake) [spooky comedy]

the last man on earth (1964)

adapted from the same book i am legend (2007) was adapted from but the last man on earth stays much closer to the original book imo

c. h. u. d.

ghostbusters (1984 and 2016 versions)*

ghost ship

sick girl (tw for bugs, pregnancy horror)

misery (tw for torture)

puppet master series (tw for rape, nazism)

the haunting in connecticut

zombieland**

jurassic park series

lizzie borden took an axe

wolf creek (tw for rape)

it (1990, 2017)

i have........ some nitpicky issues about putting it on this list, because neither movie adaptation really did justice to the whole concept of “derry itself is an extension of an eldritch horror and the real scary part of the story isn’t the clown, it’s the horrible violent tragedies that have repeatedly occurred and then been dismissed throughout derry’s history, leaving the entire town in a large-scale sort of cycle of abuse” so ????????????? idk like i truly do recommend reading the book as well as seeing the movies for The Whole It Experience(TM), but i totally get that not everyone is gonna do that

the 1990 version tells more or less the complete story, but because of that it didn’t have time to include a lot of fun details

the 2017 version only tells the childhood portion of the story, which leaves it time to include fun details. i was really hoping to see more of derry’s backstory or more development on mike and stan as members of marginalized groups -> how that influences their life in derry, but we didn’t get much of that? mike’s importance to the losers (researcher, somewhat of a skeptic/hardass at times to keep the others together) was removed, his healthy family dynamic was removed (mike, richie, and possibly stan are the only characters in the book with healthy family dynamics, somewhat underscoring the concept that derry itself is trapped in a cycle of abuse), and derry’s history of racism is never touched on aside from the kids mentioning “the fire at the black spot” a couple times in passing. overall it was a fun movie and you can tell everyone making it had a blast but compared to the book it’s like. mmmmmmmmmmmmm

BASICALLY what i’m saying here is that the book is really deep wrt social issues, and while neither movie really touches on those concepts in-depth, they are still good horror movies on their own and ofc a part of american pop culture

house of wax (1953)

marnie (tw for rape, abuse and coercion in a marriage dynamic, animal/pet death, graphic depictions of psychological abuse, graphic depiction of a violent death involving a child)

cabin fever (tw for sickness horror/body function horror/unsanitary horror, occasional slurs)

mega shark vs. giant octopus

i don’t even have a real reason for listing this i just can’t believe it exists and i want the whole world to know

texas chainsaw massacre (1974), texas chainsaw massacre 2, texas chainsaw 3d

ju-on: the grudge

phantoms

the plot is pretty ehhh imo but the effects are great; rose mcgowan is gorgeous as always, peter o’toole’s character is great, and ben affleck’s character lowkey has some batman circa arkham knight vibes going on. also, liev schrieber becomes a tentacle monster. i couldn’t make this shit up if i tried y’all

vamps*

this movie. this movie

krysten ritter and alicia silverstone are a couple of vampires, sigourney weaver is their hot mess of a vampire mom, dan stevens is krysten ritter’s boyfriend, wallace shawn is van helsing but he’s basically just vizzini: vampire hunter au and it’s GOLD

it’s literally the cutest and funniest vampire media i’ve ever seen in my life as well as one of the most detailed when it comes to vampire lore i cannot recommend it enough

bram stoker’s dracula

death becomes her**

what we do in the shadows**

disturbia

frankenstein (2004 miniseries, more like a 2-part movie than a tv show)

flatliners (1990) (tw for drug use, uncensored depictions of cadaver dissection)

the cabinet of dr. caligari

the limehouse golem (tw for sexual assault and csa)

repulsion (tw for sexual assault)

the trial (1962)

*spooky comedy: a comedy movie with a spooky premise that i am categorizing with horror movies due to the genre overlap, but that lacks the intense violence, gore, etc. of a horror movie

**horror comedy: a spooky comedy that does not lower the level of violence, gore, etc. that is standard in a horror movie

thrillers

stoker (tw for incest, has a scene in which the protag’s mother verbally abuses her)

m [german film, watch with subtitles] (tw for themes of pedophilia/child molestation/child murder, but it’s worth noting that the whole point of the movie is to condemn and demonize pedophilia)

also one of if not the very first detective movies

nightcrawler (tw for rape)

the vvitch/the witch/however the fuck it’s spelled

rear window (1954)

zodiac

hannibal lecter franchise (tw for cannibalism, obviously)-- the silence of the lambs, hannibal, red dragon, manhunter

manhunter is adapted from the same book red dragon is (red dragon) except manhunter was made before anthony hopkins became The Iconic Hannibal Lecter(TM) so it focuses much more on will graham and francis dolarhyde

hannibal rising is worth watching for gaspard ulliel’s performance but the book was much better

the hannibal movie adaptation changed the ending of the hannibal book while still maintaining a really good and really compelling storyline so the book and movie are definitely both highly recommended by me

gone girl

shutter island (tw for asylum horror)

pan’s labyrinth

tiger house

the champagne murders

the plot and pacing are a little ehhh; in my opinion there was too much tension buildup between characters and not enough actual plot development. BUT, anthony perkins is in it so it’s worth watching if you love him like i do

documentaries

cropsey (documentary on child murders)

urban legends (another documentary, by the same people, talks about how real-life crime affects the american psyche and lives on as urban legends/horror tropes)

the poisoner’s handbook

h. h. holmes

nightmares in red, white, and blue

his name was jason

never sleep again: the elm street legacy

american ripper [currently ongoing tv series]

television/youtube

bates motel

ahs s1 (tw for... literally everything)

slasher

similar basic premise as ahs, but imo ahs is v exploitative and builds the plot on violence and vice, whereas slasher builds the violence and vice on the plot

supernatural (LISTEN........ LISTEN....................... conceptually it’s the bees knees okay)

penny dreadful (tw for constant explicit sexuality, religious iconography/sacrilege, asylum horror)

criminal minds

bbc broadchurch

bbc river

bbc sherlock but literally only ep. 3.4 “the abominable bride”

rosemary’s baby (2-part made-for-tv movie)

unedited footage of a bear

marblehornets

true detective

frankenstein (2004 miniseries, more like a 2-part movie than a tv show)

tbs’ search party

podcasts

the black tapes podcast

small town horror

alice isn’t dead

king falls am [spooky comedy, more sci-fi than horror but there is One Episode that positively screams “love letter to 80s horror movies” so i can’t leave it out with good conscience]

limetown

welcome to night vale [spooky comedy]

the dark tome

video games

until dawn

outlast series

five nights at freddy’s

dead by daylight

bioshock

[psyclownsis-a-blog]

cyberyond replied to your post

piri i need horror movie recs it's been too long since i saw a good oNE

this ended up becoming Piri’s Ultimate List Of Horror Recs (2017 Version) so i’m putting it under a cut rip

note: this list has trigger warnings but i am operating under the assumption that you are okay with the standard level of explicit sexuality, vulgarity, violence, and gore present in mainstream horror movies

horror

original nightmare on elm street series, but especially 1, 3, 4, 6, and freddy vs. jason (tw for implied pedophilia and explicit child murder, tw for rape in #6)

friday the 13th (original and remake)

honestly all the friday the 13th sequels are A Treasure but if you want The Core Canon watch 1-3

my bloody valentine (original)

psycho (original) and tbh all its sequels (tw for sort-of-kind-of incest vibes)

psycho ii and psycho iv are my favorites because (1) meg tilly is adorable in psycho ii and (2) psycho iv has a harley/norman cameo and nobody can convince me otherwise

child’s play, child’s play 2, bride of chucky, maybe some sequels after that idk i haven’t seen them yet :(

scream franchise

not the mtv scream series

i mean s1 is decent but there are definitely other horror shows that i would recommend more

1-3 are the best, 4 is worth watching if you really like the characters but as a concept the series has p much run its course by then

tw for rape mentions in scream 3

predator

peeping tom

kenneth branagh’s frankenstein (tw for a graphic depiction of death in childbirth)

james whale’s frankenstein

bride of frankenstein

the phantom of the opera (1925)

the phantom of the opera (1989) (tw for a much grosser depiction of the phantom story than the 1925 or 2004 versions; i wanna say all tws are left at implication but i haven’t seen it in a while so i’m not sure)

alien franchise

the wolfman (2010)

darling (tw for rape)

house on haunted hill (original and remake)

final destination franchise

medium raw: night of the wolf (tw for pedophilia and child murder)

the babadook

the final girls [horror comedy]

the shining (tw for implied child abuse)

the cabin in the woods

hellraiser

heathers (tw for eating disorders, suicide, everything high school kids are insensitive assholes about)

from dusk til dawn

an american werewolf in london

the guest

it follows (tw for dubious consent)

nightwatch (tw for implied necrophilia/descriptions of necrophilia, self-mutilation)

re-animator (tw for rape, pedophilia mentions)

carrie (original) (tw for child abuse, religion iconography)

the remake had some interesting like... subtext/imagery but other than that it was pretty *wet fart noise*

the awakening

the craft

the blair witch project

honestly i loved the book of shadows: blair witch 2 bc it kind of parallels the crucible but i can admit that objectively it is Terrible

elvira, mistress of the dark [spooky comedy]*

american mary (tw for rape, (consensual surgical) genital mutilation)

fright night (original and remake)

jaws

halloween franchise

1-5 are the best imo but no matter what skip #3 because it literally has nothing to do with any of the other movies

not the rob zombie remakes, those are awful

let the right one in [swedish (?) film, watch with subtitles]

rosemary’s baby (original)

night of the living dead (original)

28 days later

suspiria

silent hill (tw for child molestation)

crimson peak (tw for incest)

the lost boys

interview with the vampire

the ring

one missed call

the raven (2012)

repo! the genetic opera

teeth (tw for rape, incest, t’s??????? about a girl who has razor-sharp teeth in her vagina and how that coincides with her sexual awakening as a very straight-laced religious person???? so idk like watch it for The Wild Ride if you want but watch at your own discretion)

american psycho (tw for rape, general misogyny)

sweeney todd

speaking from experience, this is much better live, the movie sucked out all the fun and humor that wasn’t literally written into the lyrics, so i recommend watching the original broadway cast on youtube or something

there’s also a 1936 movie but i haven’t seen it so i can’t speak to its quality BUT i would recommend it on the basis of it being made before the musical was created and thus being based more directly on “the string of pearls” novel which is where the sweeney todd urban legend was originally documented

abott and costello meet [insert universal horror monster here] [spooky comedy]

little shop of horrors (original and remake) [spooky comedy]

the last man on earth (1964)

adapted from the same book i am legend (2007) was adapted from but the last man on earth stays much closer to the original book

c. h. u. d.

ghostbusters (1984 and 2016 versions) [spooky comedy]

ghost ship

sick girl (tw for bugs, pregnancy horror)

misery (tw for torture)

puppet master (tw for rape)

the haunting in connecticut

zombieland [horror comedy]**

jurassic park series

lizzie borden took an axe

*spooky comedy: a comedy movie with a spooky premise that i am categorizing with horror movies due to the genre overlap, but that lacks the intense violence, gore, etc. of a horror movie

**horror comedy: a spooky comedy that does not lower the level of violence, gore, etc. that is standard in a horror movie

thrillers

stoker (tw for incest, has a scene in which the protag’s mother verbally abuses her)

m [german film, watch with subtitles] (tw for themes of pedophilia/child molestation/child murder, but it’s worth noting that the whole point of the movie is to condemn and demonize pedophilia)

also one of if not the very first detective movies

nightcrawler (tw for rape)

the vvitch/the witch/however the fuck it’s spelled

rear window (original)

zodiac

hannibal lecter franchise (tw for cannibalism, obviously)-- the silence of the lambs, hannibal, red dragon, manhunter

manhunter is adapted from the same book red dragon is (red dragon) except manhunter was made before anthony hopkins became The Iconic Hannibal Lecter(TM) so it focuses much more on will graham and francis dolarhyde

hannibal rising is worth watching for gaspard ulliel’s performance but the book was much better

the hannibal movie adaptation changed the ending of the hannibal book while still maintaining a really good and really compelling storyline so the book and movie are definitely both highly recommended by me

gone girl

shutter island (tw for asylum horror)

pan’s labyrinth

documentaries

cropsey (documentary on child murders)

urban legends (another documentary, by the same people, talks about how real-life crime affects the american psyche and lives on as urban legends/horror tropes)

the poisoner’s handbook

h. h. holmes

nightmares in red, white, and blue

his name was jason

never sleep again: the elm street legacy

television

bates motel

ahs s1 (tw for... literally everything)

slasher

similar basic premise as ahs, but imo ahs is v exploitative and builds the plot on violence and vice, whereas slasher builds the violence and vice on the plot

supernatural (LISTEN........ LISTEN....................... conceptually it’s the bees knees okay)

penny dreadful (tw for constant explicit sexuality, religious iconography/sacrilege, asylum horror)

criminal minds

bbc broadchurch

bbc river

bbc sherlock but literally only ep. 3.4 “the abominable bride”

rosemary’s baby (2-part made-for-tv movie)

podcasts

the black tapes podcast

small town horror

alice isn’t dead

king falls am [spooky comedy]

limetown

welcome to night vale [spooky comedy]

video games

until dawn

outlast series

[rapunzhel]

“Would You Rather” Tag Game!!

I was tagged by @oh-howyoumakeme !!! Thank you so much!!!

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

1. Coke or Pepsi: pepsi max yo, coke is gross 2. Disney or Dreamworks: disney disney disney!!! 3. Coffee or tea: im english.  4. Books or movies: depends which you see first. but books, mostly 5. Windows or mac: mac 6. DC or marvel: marvel (the only dc ive seen is suicide squad. batman is stupid) 7. Xbox or PlayStation: xbox but only because thats what my brother has and therefore the only one i can play oh! and because where i go on holiday they have xboxes, fun times 8. Dragon age or mass effect: wtf is a mass effect or dragon age 9. Night owl or early riser: night owl 10. Cards or chess: cards! 11. Chocolate or vanilla: swirl 12. Vans or converse: converse, i own about a billion 13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: wtf are those 14. Fluff or angst: fluff 15. Beach or forest: beach 16. Dogs or cats: doggos!! 17. Clear skies or rain: clear skies, gentle breeze, what a day, sunshine and sweet harmonies, time to play, no more complications, from now own just, good vibrations 18. Cooking or eating out: eating out 19. Spicy food or mild food: mild lmao i cannot handle that shit 20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: christmas!! 21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: i lil too hot 22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: immortality or time travel 23. Animation or live action: i assume youre asking about the recent disney adaptions in which i will have to say live action, whilst beauty and the beast was  not the best in comparison to the original animation, the addition of le fou’s gay subplot (whilst barely in the film) made my heart soar and he is now one of my all time favourite disney characters. also the cinderella remake is stunning, and maleficent is marvellous.  24. Paragon or renegade: da fuq 25. Baths or showers: showers 26. Team cap or team ironman: team cap!  27. Fantasy or sci-fi: oh this is hard, im gonna have to go with fantasy cuz harry potter but damn  28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes? If so what are they? “keep moving forward” from meet the robinsons, “think left and think right, think low and think high, oh the thinks you can think up if only you try!” dr seuss, “that mouse is family” from saving mr banks 29. Youtube or Netflix: i cannot live without either 30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: percy jackson forever because the actual proper content is the best, but if you want to talk about entire universes and future properties (i.e the marauders and the next generation) harry potter wins hands down  31. When you feel accomplished:  when i won nanowrimo, when i get a good mark on a test, when i get everything that i had planned out done, when i reorganise my bookshelf  32. Star Wars or Star Trek: star wars, but ive never seen either 33. Paperback books or hardback books: paperbacks 34. Horror or rom-com? rom-com 35. To live in a world without literature or music: would be horrible, and literally the two things that keep me going in this world would not exist.  36. Pastel colors or dark colors: pastel!! 37. Tv shows or movies: tv shows, so much more room for experimenting with plots and shit  38. City or countryside: city  39. If any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: i dont know anything about zodiac signs  40. If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be? i cant 41. Cinema or theatre? the theatre, unless the cinema is showing a musical  42. If you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be? peter parker aka spider man  43. Smiling or smirking? smiling!! 44. Are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent? im boring, im consistent 45. Playlists or your whole library on shuffle? playlists!! 46. Traveling or staying at home? travelling!!

47. Regular or mechanical pencils? mechanical, ooh

48. do you want to go to disney world? 

I dont have this many people to tag, so if you want to do it pls do!!

[recentnews18-blog]

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/it-had-to-be-funny-ive-no-interest-in-settling-scores-comedian-eric-idle-launches-his-sortabiography/

'It had to be funny - I've no interest in settling scores' - comedian Eric Idle launches his 'sortabiography'

Comedian Eric Idle launches his ‘sortabiography’ We’re all individuals. Eric Idle is proud of the success of his fellow Pythons. Photo: Robyn Von Swank Technicolour: Eric Idle during the early days of Monty Python

‘It had to be funny – I’ve no interest in settling scores’ – comedian Eric Idle launches his ‘sortabiography’

Independent.ie

It is a comparison that has been made time and time again. Monty Python, it’s said, is to comedy, what The Beatles are to music. If the Fab Four forever changed the pop and rock landscape, it is surely fair to suggest that television comedy would look very different if a bunch of whip-smart and super-funny young men hadn’t appeared on the BBC in 1969 with a show that still generates belly laughs.

https://www.independent.ie/entertainment/books/it-had-to-be-funny-ive-no-interest-in-settling-scores-comedian-eric-idle-launches-his-sortabiography-37459206.html

https://www.independent.ie/incoming/article37467365.ece/80537/AUTOCROP/h342/idle.PNG

Email

It is a comparison that has been made time and time again. Monty Python, it’s said, is to comedy, what The Beatles are to music. If the Fab Four forever changed the pop and rock landscape, it is surely fair to suggest that television comedy would look very different if a bunch of whip-smart and super-funny young men hadn’t appeared on the BBC in 1969 with a show that still generates belly laughs.

Eric Idle – along with John Cleese, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones and the late Graham Chapman – will forever be associated with his years in Python and he is as well placed as any to appraise The Beatles comparison.

“They weren’t The Beatles until Ringo came,” he tells Review over a sparkling water in a Dublin hotel bar. “When he came, he was the missing jigsaw piece that made it all work. And it’s the same with Python – if you took anyone out, the magic went, too.

“It’s like a good Liverpool football team,” he adds, in reference to the all-conquering Reds of the 1980s. “It’s a team that clicks and works, you can’t entirely explain it. You need these different kinds of talents to gel and it was the same with us.”

Technicolour: Eric Idle during the early days of Monty Python

The 75-year-old comedic giant is in Ireland to talk about his memoir, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. Billed as a “sortabiography”, it’s a very funny look-back on a quirky and largely happy life. It shares its name with the song Idle wrote for the gloriously irreverent Life of Brian movie in 1979, and is now one of the most popular songs played at funerals.

He loves the idea that the tune soundtracks events and says writing that song is one of the things he’s most proud of. “Harry Nilsson recorded it,” he says. “but our version didn’t become a hit until 1991 – 13-odd years after it first came out. Simon Mayo [the BBC radio presenter] said it became popular on the terraces first – Manchester United fans had started to sing it [in the unsuccessful, pre-Alex Ferguson days] and then he started to play it at the beginning of his show to cheer people up.”

The song became a number one in Ireland – a fact that tickles Idle, especially as the Life of Brian was banned on release here over concerns it was blasphemous. It would finally get an Irish release in 1987 – and became one of the most popular films of the year.

Idle was busy making the film this month 40 years ago and says it was enormous fun to work with Cleese, Palin et al following the demise of the TV show, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, to give it its full name.

Unsurprisingly, a great chunk of Idle’s memoir is taken up with those Python years. Although he says he doesn’t watch it any more – with the exception of clips that might be shown on TV chat shows he appears on – he believes the brand of humour has stood up well. “There were so many different talents, and we sort of spurred each other on to do better work. John had the most superb timing as a comedic talent. Gilliam couldn’t write a sketch to save his life, but his cartoons” – a key part of the Python experience – “were superb.”

The show coincided with the start of colour TV in Britain and Idle believes its importance should not be underestimated. “It really was very important, because if it had been in black and white, it would probably look very dated now, irrespective of how funny it was. People forget what a big deal the colour thing was… but you’ve got to remember that back then, Spike Milligan had a TV series that was called Oh in Colour.”

Idle bristles at the suggestion that Python was an overnight success. He subscribes to the 10,000 hours theory espoused by the Canadian pop cultural writer Malcolm Gladwell about greatness being earned rather than inherited. “We had worked very hard before Monty Python came along,” he says. “We’d done the Frost Report and Do Not Adjust Your Set. We were already very experienced when it came to writing professionally and performing.

“I really believe in the 10,000 hours thing. Look at The Beatles – and Gladwell uses them as an example: they honed their craft by playing all-nighters in Hamburg time and time again.”

Do Not Adjust Your Set – popular on ITV – had demonstrated their collective worth, but Monty Python’s Flying Circus allowed the sextet to push the comedic boat out. “By a serendipitous process, we were given a chance to do whatever we wanted – we literally had carte blanche, but we never got complacent. We were definitely challenging each other to come up with the best possible work.”

Idle is proud of the fact that each member went on to enjoy remarkable careers post-Python. Cleese created one of the greatest sitcoms in Fawlty Towers, Gilliam went on to become an arthouse filmmaker of distinction and Palin is now arguably better known for his outstanding travel broadcasting as he is for comedy.

Idle has been no slouch either. After Python, he created the cult Rutland Weekend Television, which led to the parody Beatles group, The Rutles. He starred in several movies – not least Python favourites like The Holy Grail and The Life of Brian – and was also responsible for one of the biggest Broadway hits of the past 20 years, Spamalot – which was adapted from The Holy Grail film. He is especially proud of the latter’s success. “Only 18pc [of Broadway musicals] make their money back,” he says. “We were into profit pretty early – it has to make its money back before you get any.” It was seen by more than two million people and grossed over $175m.

“People would say, ‘You were lucky to get all that money’, and I thought, ‘You know what, when I got that big cheque, I had worked on it for four or five years for nothing’. It’s only in success that you benefit from a musical.”

Idle decided to pen his memoir before reaching out to a publisher. “It had to be funny, and I like funny books – something like the one that [UK jazz musician] George Melly wrote, Rum, Bum and Concertina,” he says. “I read Steve Martin’s book, Born Standing Up. He’s a friend and I said to him, ‘What did you do?’ and he said, ‘I decided I wouldn’t talk badly of people’ and I thought that was a very good tip going in. I’ve no interest in settling old scores. People tend to do that when they write books at an earlier age – at 50, they try to nail people. But at my age, I don’t see the point. Most of my friends are dead. A lot of it is remembering really good times with really good people – and not taking the chance of being nasty. And I don’t think people like to read that either.”

Despite that vow, he cheerfully admits to sticking the boot into the new-age guru Deepak Chopra, whom he met at a party, and to Denis O’Brien, the controversial American business manager of George Harrison (who was one of Idle’s closest friends) and producer of The Life of Brian. “Even with him I was relatively mild,” he says. “I didn’t go as far as I could – he robbed George blind.” After Harrison took a lawsuit against him, O’Brien was instructed to pay him £6.7m in damages.

Today, Idle lives in Los Angeles. “I went over there when I was 50,” he says. He’s glad to be away from a Britain wrestling with Brexit, and he’s angry at the “idiotic posturing” of politicians like Boris Johnson. “It’s so depressing,” he says. “These fools have set the country back so much. It’s such a mess.”

And while he may have penned an anthem about looking at the bright side, Idle struggles to see a happy ending for a Britain led by Brexiteers. “I’m not very optimistic,” he says. “We have to put up with that Trump arsehole, but at least he’ll be gone eventually. Brexit won’t be reversed any time soon.”

‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life’ is out now, published by W&N

Indo Review

Source: https://www.independent.ie/entertainment/books/it-had-to-be-funny-ive-no-interest-in-settling-scores-comedian-eric-idle-launches-his-sortabiography-37459206.html

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Viola Davis: Im pretty fabulous

Her extraordinary performance in the upcoming Fences has seen Viola Davis tipped for an Oscar. But her success has taken a huge amount of self-belief. She tells Alex Clark why it is only through demanding respect that you get the parts you are due

Its the run-up to Christmas and everybody in Los Angeles, which to a Brit feels unseasonably sun-drenched, is bemoaning the chilly weather; as we settle down in the Beverly Hills hotel, Viola Davis draws a warm jacket around her shoulders. Not that shes complaining: throughout our conversation, she is determinedly upbeat, celebratory, optimistic. She radiates a sense of excitement and satisfaction that, at 51, all the hard work is really beginning to pay off.

Five years ago, when Davis was playing the role of the maid Aibileen in The Help, for which she was nominated for an Academy Award, she told me that, as a dark-skinned actress in Hollywood, she had done what it was at my hand to do, even if that didnt give her as much scope for her talents and energies as she would have liked. Ive had to sink my teeth into a role that was probably a fried-chicken dinner and make it into a filet mignon.

Now, with film roles coming out of her ears, the lead in the TV drama How To Get Away with Murder and her own production company, she is opposite Denzel Washington in the film adaptation of August Wilsons Pulitzer prize-winning play Fences. (After our meeting, she begins 2017 by winning a Golden Globe for her performance, saying in her acceptance speech that the film Doesnt scream moneymaker, but it does scream art and it does scream heart.) Surely the role of Rose Maxson is a filet mignon.

She bursts out laughing. This is absolutely a filet mignon a medium-well filet mignon. And Davis clearly relishes every bite: her performance as a wife and mother in 1950s Pittsburgh, struggling at every turn to hold her family together, to absorb the rage and disappointment of her husband Troy and to protect her sons innocence and ambition, is electrifying so involving that it invokes an almost physical response. We watch as Rose is beguiled and charmed by the charismatic, storytelling Troy, unable to chide him for his excesses without dissolving into mirth, and as she seeks to intercede on others behalves to limit the damage his temper and pride cause. It takes almost the whole film, however, for Rose to voice her own feelings and desires.

That was the role of womanhood in the 50s, says Davis. You were an instrument for everyone elses joy except for your own. The 50s in America had the highest rate of alcoholism and depression. There were whole manuals out there that were being passed out about how to make your husband happy put on make-up when he walks through the door, after a long day of work, dont weigh him down with any of your problems, ask him about his problems, greet him with a smile, make sure the children are fed and theyre clean, his favourite meal is on the table, and nowhere in that manual is anything about her joy, and the centre of her happiness.

She has been here before, and with Washington; they are reprising the roles they played in the 2010 Broadway revival of the play, for which they both won Tony awards; and they are rejoined by Russell Hornsby and Mykelti Williamson as Troys son and brother respectively. Part of Wilsons 10-play Century Cycle, in which the playwright chronicled the experiences of African Americans decade by decade, Fences transition on to the big screen has taken so long because its author, who died in 2005, insisted that its director be black a simple demand revealingly hard to accomplish in Hollywood.

Now, Washington himself directs, and his key artistic choice is apparent the moment the film begins: he has preserved the works theatrical origins, with nearly all the action taking place in a confined domestic space, and dialogue ranging from quick-fire ensemble scenes to extended soliloquies. The effect is disconcerting we rarely see such unfiltered staginess on film but always riveting; there is not an inch of slack, a word wasted.

Davis herself has two show-stopping speeches, in which she first rails at life and at last attempts to make her peace with it. What was different about playing Rose this time around? She replies that she had been sitting with this narrative for so long and never quite got the ending until I did the movie. And I keep saying to myself that the reason I didnt get the end is because she is at a place that probably most of us as human beings never get to, and that is a place of forgiveness and grace. I think that most of us spend a lifetime holding on to the past, even when we feel like were letting go a bit.

Maid in Hollywood: a scene from The Help with Viola Davis as Aibileen Clark, and Bryce Dallas Howard and Ahna O Reilly. Photograph: Dale Robinette/DreamWorks

She holds close to the advice of psychiatrist Irvin D Yalom that one must give up all hope of a better past. Davis herself grew up in extreme poverty; she has spoken powerfully about the series of makeshift dwellings she, her parents and five siblings occupied in Rhode Island, about hunger and lack of sanitation, about her fathers violent abuse of her mother. The letting go seems to take two distinct but related forms: allowing herself to feel good about what she has achieved, and building platforms that will help broaden the possibilities for a new generation of actors, writers and directors of colour.

She cites her delight at seeing Shonda Rhimes, the producer behind Greys Anatomy, Scandal and How To Get Away with Murder, accepting a Norman Lear achievement award in Television last year. She said: I happily accept this award because I deserve it. I LOVE IT. Absolutely love it. Its the waking up and understanding that OK, you may not be the best person out there, but youve put in enough work to understand that you deserve what youve got, that that is what is at the end of hard work. The happily ever after comes after youve done the work. And to literally understand, especially as a woman, that a closed mouth doesnt get fed, youve got to ask for what you want and expect to get it.

I remark that its noticeable how often women play down their successes; how they will even deflect minor compliments on appearance. Why does she think that happens? I think tapping into ones power and ones potential is a very frightening thing, she replies. And for women its a very new thing. It is. I always used to feel that self-deprecation was an answer to humility that people would see me as a humble person the more I put myself down. And people do say that: Oh! I ran into so-and-so and they kept saying, Oh, my work in this really sucked, and they were great! I just thought it was so refreshing that they said that! And I often think to myself, what if someone says, You know what, Im confident, Im really happy about the work I did. I really felt like I gave it my best and it came out great, the same way men do. Why is that not seen as humble?

Motherhood has given me a different telescope to look at life: with husband Julius Tennon. Photograph: Tibrina Hobson/Getty Images

Her increasing ability to feel comfortable with her achievements is linked to an awareness of her emerging position as a figure of influence. The more Im pushed in a position of leadership and I know I have to be the mouthpiece for so many other people who cant speak for themselves, the more confidence Im gaining. And that extends to the way she views her own past and the more she shares her story. She explains: I can hear myself say, Oh yeah, I took the bus five hours just to get to the theatre, then took it five hours back, and Im listening to that, Im being an objective observer, and thinking to myself I did that? Its like looking at an old picture of yourself when you felt like you looked bad, and you go, Wow, I was fabulous! Thats how I feel about my life now that Im looking back at it, and Im like, Im pretty fabulous. I really am. Im pretty fabulous.

Back in 2011, when we talked about Daviss commitment largely via JuVee, the production company she founded with her husband, Julius Tennon to addressing the limited opportunities afforded people of colour by the entertainment industry, she expressed her hope we wouldnt be having the same conversation in five years time. Naturally, because challenging entrenched privilege takes time, we are, but it has shifted ground. Davis herself is scheduled to play the part of Harriet Tubman, who liberated slaves in the Civil War era, and to star in Steve McQueens Widows, a revisiting of Lynda LaPlantes TV series co-scripted by Gone Girls Gillian Flynn. Its not even a role that would be necessarily written for an African American, but not according to him. Hes like: Why not?

Davis brings up The Help, and says that although she loved making the film, she understands the criticisms levelled at it that women of colour were once again placed in the role of maids, and not portrayed as tapping into their anger as much as they could have. Tapping into all the things they could have been other than the maid. Partly, she thinks, that relates to the image of the black maid as a nurturer, a second mother, so that even within the movie, there are certain things that are not going to be explored, if it somehow messes up the memory of what the audience had, that perfect mother. She couldnt be angry. She couldnt be sexualised. Shes gotta stay that image that brings us comfort and joy knowing that we were loved and nothing more than that.

Davis loves the riposte to that one-dimensional figure provided by the character of Annalise Keating, the firecracker law professor, ambitious, potent and flawed, that she plays in How To Get Away with Murder. Its blowing the lid off everything that people say we should be, especially as a dark-skinned woman, that you cant be sexual, you cant be unlikable, you can be angry but with no vulnerability, you cant be damaged, you cant be smart. It blows the lid off all of it. And even if its not executed all the time in ways that people like, it doesnt matter. What matters is that shes out there. Thats it. Shes out there, shes on screen, shes making an impact.

In the 1950s women were an instrument for everyone elses joy except their own: Viola Davis with Denzel Washington in a scene from Fences. Photograph: David Lee/AP

Another fundamental has changed in the past five years; in 2011, she and Tennon adopted a baby, Genesis, who is even as we speak frolicking in a nearby hotel room. When Davis and I are done, her babysitters release the six-year-old to bound along the corridor and leap into her mothers arms, asking whether she can go and buy a swimming costume in the hotel boutique and head for the pool. Her mother observes that in such a luxurious joint, its a purchase that could easily come to a couple of hundred dollars, but concedes that theyll work something out (you imagine somebody might be despatched to Gap).

Davis combines motherhood which she says has changed her utterly, and given her a different telescope through which to see life with work by clever stratagems and good planning; often taking Genesis with her, only making one film a year, having a TV shooting schedule that allows her days off and free weekends. She claims to live by two mantras Im tired, and Im doing the best I can but she doesnt look remotely weary. And things might be about to get a whole lot busier. She was the first African American to win the outstanding lead actress in a drama series Emmy award for her role as Annalise Keating; alongside numerous other awards, she has hitherto been nominated for two Oscars for The Help and Doubt. But now her role as Rose Maxson is being spoken about as a cert for nomination and a very strong contender to win her an Academy Award come February. Has she allowed herself to think about it? She pauses, laughs, parries.

You know what I know about that? Because I dont know if thats going to happen or not. But what I will say about this is, and this is how I keep my perspective, whatever happens, Ive gotta go back to work. The carpets are going to be rolled up, the people are going to stop calling like that, and Ive gotta go back to work. And you cant bring that Oscar on a set, and that Oscar cant do the work for you. You gotta do it. Thats what Ill say.

Fences is released on 10 February

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