#and the men find out how little they know about housework

[therealnotta]

wizard of oz: women are people and children are people and a little girl can be brave and determined and save so many people if you just respect them for the person that they are!! she has three adults on the adventure with her and when they all get captured and beaten and trapped she's the one to save them, because she's resourceful and talented and strong in her own right wizard of oz (MOVIE): be grateful for what you have girls lmao dorothy only killed the witch by accident while all of the real people were standing nearby. also it wasn't even real. also it was all her punishment for not wanting some random lady to take away her dog, serves her right for running away lmao

[ollieolliewrld]

How The DMC Men Enter Relationships (SFW)

How your relationship with the Sparda Trio start~ gn!reader

1.4k words

Dante 

❥ How you meet

♡ You meet Dante late at night 

♡ You were both lonely and looking for a body to ease that pain

♡ He has no intentions of having feelings for you, and you were not looking for a relationship

♡ At first, all that is exchanged are first names and phone numbers 

♡ Conversation is limited to simple greetings and partings 

♡ The interactions are mainly physical 

❥ How the relationship begins

♡ As time goes on Dante begins to miss you when you leave and starts asking you to stay the night

♡ He starts to ask you about yourself, questioning about your hobbies and favorite foods

♡ As much as he does not want to admit it, he is starting to develop feelings for you

♡ He doesn't outright ask you to date him instead he asks if you would like to leave some things at his place 

♡ Late-night phone calls turn into him inviting you to dinner 

♡ After some time Trish refers to you as his s/o in conversation and Dante is taken back

♡ He hadn’t thought of it that way but you two are doing all of the relationship things, but more importantly, he really enjoyed hearing you referred to as his s/o

♡ A few days later Dante is lying in bed with you when he asks if you would like to put a label on things 

♡ He explains that he would like mutual commitment and to pursue a future with you but he understands if you want to keep things more casual

♡ Although he has no interest in anyone else and would not be ok if you were seeing other people no matter if there was a label or not 

♡ When you do agree to put a label on things Dante becomes a little cocky about now bringing you up specifically as his s/o in most conversations

❥ Early relationship dynamics

♡ Dante would want you to stay at home more, not locked in there or anything but more just not overworked

♡ He likes to come home to you, it brings him peace of mind and motivates him

♡ Small disagreements take place when you move in with him, Dante has never had a long-term serious relationship so he is unsure of how to split up housework and tasks like cooking

♡ Nothing ever gets too heated as he comes to an agreement with you pretty quickly

♡ He wants to be in charge of breakfast and dinner when he is home, but would really appreciate it if you could make dinner when he comes home late and you are already home

♡ It’s decided that you will both use Saturday as the day to get all of the house cleaning done together

♡ It takes about a month for you two to settle in together but once the adjustment period is over you two work fluidly together with very few arguments

Vergil

❥ How you meet

♡ He comes into your work by accident, he had no reason to be there but the rain outside was terrible and he wanted to find reprieve for just a moment to get himself together

♡ You very kindly offered him your umbrella seeing the state he was in

♡ Not being used to this kind of kindness he simply stares at you unsure of how to respond

♡ Silently he takes the umbrella and walks out 

♡ After this, he happens to wander into your workplace more often hoping to see you again

❥ How the relationship begins

♡ Vergil does not start the conversation but rather you do as you come up behind him

♡ You jokingly ask if he’s stalking you and his demeanor changes to be very flustered with a slight blush appearing across his cheeks 

♡ He stops coming to your workplace after this but you catch him reading a book in a park not too far away about a week later

♡ This time he begins with a simple hello

♡ To his surprise, the conversation flows very naturally and learns that you actually missed his random appearances at work

♡ Never did he expect to be able to talk to anyone like this, casually and freely

♡ Not knowing who he was and what he had been through allows him to start fresh not feeling any levels of judgment

♡ You two stay as friends for a while, he never makes a move as he does not want you to leave when he opens up to you

♡ After a few months, Vergil cannot keep secrets from you anymore and he finally tells you about who he is and what he has done expecting you to be scared and leave

♡ But you are not scared and when he turns to see your reaction you lean in to kiss him

♡ The feeling of your lips on his sets him free, he can finally be his entire self around you without fear

❥ Early relationship dynamics

♡ That day was the start of your romantic relationship, but Vergil does not like to refer to you as his s/o preferring terms like “My light” and “My love”

♡ You two would move in together shortly after that first kiss 

♡ A lot of time is spent teaching Vergil the ways of average human life 

♡ He enjoys taking care of the home and finds a passion for cooking 

♡ Doing things like furniture shopping brings him a lot of joy and finds it to be a very important time with you

♡ He likes to take you on dinner dates at nice restaurants and to museums 

♡ Overall the beginning of your relationship is pretty smooth the only potential issue being that Vergil is a bit reclusive not liking to be in very high-energy areas like a concert or club 

Nero

❥ How you meet

♡ Nero is still young and has not gotten the hang of relationships fully yet

♡ The dating world is still pretty new to him

♡ He meets you in the most cliche way, you were carrying boxes in your hands and Nero was sprinting around the corner knocking into you and sending the boxes to the ground

♡ Dropping what he was doing he cleans up your mess while apologizing and then turns to help you up but when his eyes met yours, the ability to speak the English language left him

♡ Stumbling over words he attempts to introduce himself not making a lot of progress

♡ With a smile you tell him your name and that he can make up for the incident by buying you a coffee

❥ How the relationship begins

♡ He is very nervous around you at first, before getting coffee with you the first time he changed his outfit three times and brushed his teeth twice

♡ Despite the nerves, he was able to talk to you and your sweet demeanor helped to calm him down

♡ You were kind and confident and that combo worked on him as he asked when he could see you again right after you both finished your drinks

♡ Nero is a very sweet guy making sure to hold doors open for you and following the sidewalk rule

♡ His age shows though when he tries to show off in front of you by doing things like attempting to do tricks on a random skateboard despite him having zero experience 

♡ Or telling you very over-the-top embellished stories about his Devil May Cry work

♡ After going out a few more times he asks if he can start calling you his s/o

♡ You agree and the smile that forms on his face tells you how long he has been waiting to ask you that

❥ Early relationship dynamics

♡ Neither of you are in a rush to move in together 

♡ Instead, it’s a lot of sleepovers and him tagging along to run errands with you

♡ Nero discovers that he enjoys going to stores like Target not looking to buy anything and instead just looking around

♡ He also loves to binge shows with you

♡ If you watch any level of reality TV, Nero will become the biggest fan but will deny it if you ever ask him

♡ Finds it romantic to know all of your orders at your favorite food places, Nero likes to surprise you with them whenever you are feeling sad

♡ Some fights happen when he has to leave for work, you don't want him to go and he doesn't want to leave you and because he is young the emotions are a little hard to navigate 

♡ But with proper and open communication these problems fade away

Author's note: This was so cute to write! I had a lot of fun taking my time with this and really feeling the characters out and I hope you all have fun reading it!

[cherryredstars]

HELLO DADDIES!!HELLO DADDIES!!

if u can, can u plspls do like Graves (and Soap maybe) on how would they treat u before they start crushing??

thx very much cherry 😘😘🍒🍒 have a good day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pairings: Phillip Graves x gn!reader, John "Soap" MacTavish x gn!reader

Warnings: None

A/N: I miss my COD babies!!!

Unedited

Phillip Graves

This man is totally indifferent to anyone and everyone outside of his Shadows. Sorry, love, but he probably didn't know you even existed until he started showing an interest in you. Doesn't matter if you've worked in the same base for years or have been on missions together. The second he's finished talking to you and the mission is complete, he's wiping any memory of you to make room for more important things.

He's a busy man, making plans to betray his own people under the command of General Shepard. He doesn't have time to remember any and every unremarkable face that won't be important once he and his men go rogue. Don't take it personally when you have to constantly remind him what your name is and that you have, in fact, worked together before.

Takes a remarkable amount of effort for him to memorize your name once Shepard informs him that you'll be added to their plan of betrayal. He isn't exactly sure what your role will be in the grand scheme of things. As far as he's concerned, you might just be another disposable pawn. Not worth getting to know you if you'll just end up dead anyways. However, he will admit that you would make a pretty scapegoat- for the five seconds he remembers your face, that is.

Once he realizes he likes you, it's like a switch clicks in his brain. One second he is horribly unaware of who you are, the next he is too aware of your existence. Drives him crazy that he could forget a face as sweet as yours. Your name is now permanently etched into his brain. Suddenly, you are far too important to be a throwaway soldier to their cause.

Eyes that once skimmed over you are now locked onto you. Graves finds himself hovering near your seat during secret briefings, his hands subconsciously coming to brush against your shoulders as he gives out orders. Well placed pats and squeezes that leave him craving more. He's the definition of "A fell first, B fell harder".

Definitely takes advantage of the fact that he has the most unique accent out of everyone else. Sure 141 has their different posh British accents and Scottish slang, the Los Vaqueros have their rumbling Spanish words that roll off the tongue, but none of them can replicate his sweet country tang. Drives him crazy how his accent affects you, throwing out random southern sweet talking to watch each country-laced endearment heat your cheeks. Likes fluctuating his voice, easily going from a higher pitch to a lower pitch to watch how the shift in tone has you squirming in front of him.

Don't blame him if he starts throwing hints at you about his dream of owning a small little ranch in the American countryside with a few cattle and farm dogs to tend to. It's only a coincidence that the only thing missing is a sweet thing to take care of all the housework while he works the fields and does all the outdoor labor. Did he mention how good he looks sweaty and shirtless with nothing but a cowboy hat to shield him from the sun and a pair of worn out levi's disappearing into a nice pair of cowhide boots? No, well you can always experience it first-hand if you wanted to.

John "Soap" MacTavish

The biggest flirt you will ever have the pleasure of meeting. Johnny is not scared to work his Scottish charm on you any chance he gets, even if he only sees you as a teammate. He finds it hilarious when he says something that leaves you absolutely baffled or causes you to roll your eyes.

Strong believer in the fact that you would have the hardest time figuring out if he likes you or not because he acts completely the same before and after he discovers he has a thing for you. The only difference is that he’s more of a show-off and way more energetic near you, which is hard to believe is possible, but it is.

He’s super friendly, of course. Super energetic and outgoing, always coming to you and Ghost when he’s in need of a good sparring or a buddy to go to the mess with for supper. The three of you are practically glued to the hip- Ghost a mostly unwilling participant- to the point where most people see you as best friends.

Don’t be surprised when he drops off the grid when he’s on leave, though. For all the nagging and clinginess he has on base, you’d be surprised how radio silent he is once he’s away from base. Don’t go obsessing over your phone waiting for a stray call or text from Johnny, you aren’t getting anything unless it’s a clear emergency or he’s heading back to base for deployment. Calling and texting outside the base is reserved for long time boot camp friends, family, and his Birdie, sorry. Looks like you don’t meet the requirements just yet.

This man is a kicked puppy whenever he isn't near you after he realizes he likes you. Suddenly, Ghost is always way too busy with whatever lieutenants do to spar and step away from his mountains paperwork to go to the mess. Looks like you're the only person who can help him pass the time on base. Don't worry about being too tired to leave your barrack, he didn't realize how tired he was until you said you were! Did he mention that he makes a great body pillow? You should test it out to see if the rumors are true.

Suddenly, his smiles and teasing looks are way more charming than normal. Don't ask why he's giving you constant bedroom eyes as he rests his chin in the palm of his hand, just let the intended effect wash over you. Promise that even though he's not listening to a single word you're saying that you still have his full attention. If you saw his face instantly switch to a look of mourning after one of the others joked about the two of you being best of friends, just know it's your fault because you didn't defend his honor by saying the two of you are way more than friends (despite the fact the two of you aren't even in the ball park of a talking stage).

Right before leave, Johnny is practically stepping on your heels. He's blabbering about meeting up during leave and going to a nice little pub, have a drink or two in your casuals. What's that, did he forget that the two of you don't live even remotely close to each other? Silly Birdie, didn't you know he's happening to come down for a visit. He's never been to your area before, maybe you can be his tour guide. You're too busy to hangout during leave? Well, have his personal number then! He's always up for a chat when you have the time. Don't keep him waiting for a text or a call, you might just make him die from the loneliness!

[whenthegoldrays]

So I’m not sure if it was Greta Gerwig herself or a movie reviewer but I once read a criticism of the men in Little Women, saying that the March women’s husbands are all varying degrees of useless or disrespectful. Saying that John belittles Meg and her housework and that Friedrich has no respect for Jo’s work. And I have to say… what??

Meg and John are a great example of a healthy couple. Yes, he laughs when her jelly doesn’t turn out, but is he belittling her? No! He just finds it amusing because it is, at least to an observer. And he gets miffed that the house isn’t in order, but in fairness, she did say he could bring a friend whenever and dinner would be ready. They go through rough patches, but they always talk it out and keep on pulling as a team.

And the big one that everyone is mad about, Friedrich criticizing Jo’s writing. I think these people didn’t read the book because Fritz never reads Jo’s sensational stories. He finds a story in a newspaper — specifically stated to not be one of hers — and broadly criticizes that kind of story. This isn’t directed at Jo, it’s directed at writers of these stories in general (again, Friedrich doesn’t know Jo is one of them). But Jo takes his words to heart because he’s spoken to her conscience, and then she makes the decision to burn them all up and quit writing that genre of story. She listens to him because she knows him to have a strong moral compass, which is a big part of why she likes him so much. He helps her grow and become a better person and writer without having to give her direct advice!! And that’s beautiful!! And I’m sick of people who wanted Jo to stay single taking their disappointment and turning it into “all the husbands in Little Women were bad husbands and the second half is a commentary on how terrible it is to be married.” No. Stop it. Read the book. Cut it out with the cynicism.

[sunflowersbones]

The Hand That Feeds - I

Warnings: This fic will contain eventual NON-CON, eventual DUB-CON, abuse of power, violence, emotional manipulation, guns, alluded to Mafia!Bucky. My warnings are not exhaustive, proceed at your own risk.

18+ only. This is a dark!fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary : Your best friend’s and yours entire lives have revolved around violence, death, greed and fear. You’ve always had each other and took comfort in the fact that none of this was your doing; you never had a choice. But what happens when time winds its roots around you, such that even when given the opportunity to leave, he neither leaves nor lets you leave. {mafia au}

NOTE: So this is my very first fic on tumblr!. i wanted the first to be a one shot but, oh well. Do feel free to send me your thoughts!. Reblogs are really appreciated, this is tumblr after all. I hope you enjoy!.

DIVIDERS: @firefly-graphics 

*

You’ve always loved Bucky, since the very beginning and you’ve always known it, he was your best friend after all. It was your responsibility to love him, to protect him, and to take care of him— you’ve always tried your best.

Whenever Steve would take it upon himself to start unnecessary fights with the older boys, Bucky would step in to support him, to save him and both idiots would end up getting their ass’s whooped. You were the smarter one you knew how to pick and choose your fights, you would run to find the nearest teacher and complain about the senior boys and they would take care of the rest.

So you always knew that, when he needed you; you’d be there for him. But you never knew if he felt the same way, or if he even liked you at all, Steve always did seem to be his first priority.

You were badly jealous of the boy, but you never wished ill on him, especially because of how frail he was and how often he’d fall sick. You supposed everyone prioritized him…

Both your father and Steve’s worked for Bucky’s dad. Considering how dangerous it is and how enemies would stoop so low as to hurt the children, Steve’s mother’s paranoia seemed valid.

But you were too young to realize all of that; after all, there’s only so much an 8-year-old can understand. You seemed quite content with your life; little did you know that everything would change soon enough. 

You remember that day very clearly, even now, long after the incident. You’d had a big fight with Bucky, about him leaving you to see Steve because he was sick again! In his defense, he did ask you to come, and you did want to visit Steve. But Sarah was not your biggest fan; she simply tolerated you and was more often than not, not very welcoming of your family. You remember your mother saying something about them being more rich due to old money.

Although you supposed that it was mostly, due to the fact that while other kids were out playing; her son was more than often stuck in bed.

As you opened the door and entered your house, you hadn’t noticed the stillness in the air. The house was very quiet, but then again, it always was. Your dad was out for work, your mom; busy with the housework, you were quiet the small family.

Just as you enter the kitchen, you’re alarmed as somebody holds you and covers your mouth, and just as you are ready to scream; as much as your trembling voice will allow you to, you stop. Mortified to see your wailing mother screaming and crying to let you go, her hand’s tied; as 3 men stand around her.

You had never seen her so scared before; seeing tears in her face scared you even more; she had always been the brave one, the one you run to, whenever you had a nightmare.

Right next to her was your dad, his forehead bleeding and his lips split. The man questioning him seems to have stopped in your presence; he stared at you and his face seemed to hold a mixture of pity and guilt.

He continues to question your father. It’s all too much; Your mother’s cry, your father’s helplessness, and the tight grip of the man holding you—your mind starts to get hazy.

All of a sudden, the front door crashes open, a ear-bleeding, loud bang resonates through the air, and the person holding you falls on to the floor. By now, a lot of men are in your kitchen, their guns pointing to each other.

You hear none of their conversations; you try your best not to look at the dead man lying beside you; you get a glimpse of the blood splattered on the wall, terrified; you close your eyes for a second and look straight ahead, only to find the man questioning your dad on the floor, his head underneath the sole of Bucky’s dad’s feet.

Somebody helps your mum up, and she runs to your side; she holds you close to her as they escort the two of you outside into a black limousine. Just as you climb up, you hear another gunshot; you no longer wish to know who was shot.

Time seems to be moving in a different pace and before you know it, you’re at the Barnes household. Your parents seem to be discussing something but you couldn’t pay any attention to it.

All you could feel was the ringing sensation in your ear.

Bucky entered the mansion just around that time, his initial reaction to seeing you at his place was surprise; a small smirk forms on his face, but it slowly turns into confusion as he looks around.

He slowly comes up to you, takes your hand in his, and leads you to his room. As you sat on his bed, he prepped his pillows up to make you more comfortable and sat down next to you.

You assumed that he would ask you what was wrong or what happened. Your disheveled state would have made the distress obvious. But he never did; he just sat next to you, staring at you, yet you felt more comfortable sharing this silence, than you did the whole day.

Eventually he left and came back after some time with a glass of water in his hand. He gave it to you as he sat down next to you, even closer this time; and hugged you .

He’d been out for much longer than what would be required to get a glass of water.

So you assumed that he must have pestered around and made his mother spill everything. Mrs. Barnes was a sensitive women and Bucky always had his way with people.

He hugged you a little tighter as he said “It’s OK; you’re safe now. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you, ever.”

And in that moment, you realized that he loved you back as well.

~

[woman-respecter]

I want my mom to get a divorce.

She's given up just about everything for my dad. She wanted a career, but she's been a stay-at-home mom since I was six, and she hates how she feels like a failure because of it. She works 20 hours a week in addition to all of the housework and child-rearing. My dad comes home from work, lectures his wife and/or children, finds something to complain about, generally makes us all miserable, and then goes off to play guitar. And I don't mean to diminish the amount he works, he does 60 hour weeks on the regular, but my mom never gets a break. He constantly "finds" improvements she could make, but he never does them himself. If he has an issue, he puts that task onto her (like the tree in the yard that everyone else thinks is normal but he thinks looks off, so he tells my mom to call the arborist about it, doesn't listen to her explanation that the arborist already saw it and thinks it looks fine and also won't respond to texts now, and lectures her the way he lectures my sister about talking to her math teacher after a bad test). She has a serious resume gap that would make it a lot harder to get a job outside of the home. He wouldn't function without her there.

He's one of the most unpleasant people I know. 5% of the time, he's an amazing husband and father. But that doesn't make up for the remaining 95%, when he's like an unrelenting yet lazy boss- he won't put his own plate in the dishwasher, but if that floor isn't swept, he'll yell at me and then harangue my mother about the kids not doing the chores properly.

He has so little respect for her passions. My mother is a talented artist and writer, but he treats her skills like they're a waste of time (unlike his guitar playing, which is a wonderful and vastly more productive endeavor). He's disrespectful to women, also, in the way of many enlightened progressive men. When he learned he was having another daughter, he decided he needed a male dog, and says things like "I'm missing the son I never had".

My dad is a pretty terrible father, also, but she never stands up to him for us or criticizes his parenting. He goes on a rampage and she sweeps up behind him while telling us that he doesn't mean it and he loves us he just had a bad day or is in pain (she doesn't allow that excuse from herself or us, as she shouldn't). I'm very close with my mother, and genuinely the sole source of serious strife in our relationship is my father.

A year ago, I found a piece of paper she wrote during a more-stressful-than-usual time (which is saying something), brainstorming and planning how she could get out. It was heartbreaking reading how miserable she was (although it's not like I was surprised), only for her to end with "I'd have no money no job no house and no support... but I'd finally be FREE."

I want that for her. She sticks with him because she's convinced that this is normal, that married women have to deal with this, and she just should put up with it. I love my mother, which is why I wish she never married him.

i’m so sorry anon that sounds awful. your mother deserves so much better and i hope she will decide to get a divorce soon. it also must be traumatic for u in so many ways, watching ur mother get mistreated like that and not stand up for herself enough. wishing u the best

[angelpuns]

Official references with colors/age/extra info for Finch in the Window!

This is more or less a master post to keep everything organized!

These are just the rough refs but lined and properly colored, along with one for Splinter that shows him in his suit ( I'll add a ref of him in his naval uniform later ).

Anyway this is gonna be the master post for this au since the comic is coming out soon!

The ROTTMNT rural au is set in 1930s-40s Japan and is essentially just an au about the boys living in the Japanese countryside and dealing with the effects of pre-war ( and then later postwar) Japan. I'm making it in the same vein as Grave of the Fireflies, This Corner of The World and The Wind Rises in that it mostly deals with the effect of the war on citizens and how it upended their lives in the smaller ways ( rationing, losing loved ones, etc )

I'm putting a lot of research into this au, but of course if there as anything that needs to be changed or is wrong please let me know.

Time to ramble about some design choices!

Starting with Splinter: he's totally human in this au, but has much of the same personality as Rise Splinter, save for the movie star thing. He's a lot more contemplative, I think. His first outfit is a simple suit - Japan in the 1920s and 30s was starting to introduce more westernized fashion, at least for the men. Many women still wore kimonos, even in the cities. Since Splinter is a decently high ranked officer as well as moving from the city to the countryside, he would definitely have a suit. I also think that color wise, he has a more subtle blue-grey palette than everyone else. Because I just thought it looked nice. Later on in the au, as he settles into country life, he typically wears a yukata around the house. He also has another outfit, which is essentially just an old naval uniform that er wears to work in the garden. He's 30 at the beginning of the au, in 1932, but since that's when we see him the most I haven't added his later looks just yet.

Raph: so Raph is kind of the main character in this au. He's the eldest and originally he's the only one who really knows what's going on. In my original design he was a bit shorter, but realistically he's probably a lot bigger than all his brothers. Design choices! So, when they were kids Raph typically didn't wear a shirt at all, though sometimes when they went to the village he would wear a yukata and some simple monpe pants. He prefers just wearing an undershirt and the monpe pants, since he's ripped a lot of yukatas with his spikes. He also tends to roll his pants up because he doesn't like when they touch his ankles.

Donnie: so Donnie is the older twin to me always. He's a little taller than Leo, too, but it's barely noticeable. He has super thick glasses that Splinter had to really work to find when he was young , thankfully the prescription was good enough. Nowadays there's a yokai doctor in the village that can help with that stuff. He gets cold easily and tends to bundle up with a more traditional yukata, except he ties the sleeves up to keep them out of the way. He also typically wears monpe pants to do the housework. He does most of the household chores along with Mikey. They're really close due to spending so much time together. He also sucks at sewing.

Leo: Leo is hard of hearing, but usually only has trouble when someone speaks too quietly or there is too much stimuli, like the rain or thunder or things like that. He also has a tendency to wander around their farm at night and frequently falls asleep on the roof. He wears a combination of undershirt + monpe pants and a regular yukata. Typically its the undershirt and pants combo, even when he goes to the village. He also gets cold easily and has a bad immune system, but he still helps Raph with most of the outside labor. Mostly cause he's reckless. He has a long-standing friendship/rivalry with Usagi Yuichi, who I have left out of this post for now since we won't really see him in the comic til later. Leo is great at sewing and has made most of their clothes/patched them up.

Mikey: baby of the group, and spoilt rotten by EVERYONE. Mikey wears mostly a yukata with monpe pants that he rolls waaaaaaay up. Leo keeps telling him to just wear shorts, but Mikey is stubborn asf. He does a lot of the cooking, since Donnie taught him. He is also the closest with their father, if only because he used to spend the most time with him. Yoshi gave him his hat for safekeeping and Mikey has barely taken it off since. His favorite food is watermelon! Mikey is very interested in humans and likes to sneak away to the nearby human village. He also likes to go into the yokai village with Leo when he can.

So that's just me rambling about design choices, clothing things, stuff like that. If anyone has questions I'd be so willing to answer! Keep an eye out for announcements about the comic within the next week or so!

EDIT: here's some helpful links for this au

Finch in the Window comic

Apples Leosagi fanfic

FITW Comic (social media version)

[chloessleepystories]

Sisters part 4

Helen bumped the bedroom door with the laundry basket, and it opened slightly.

“Kenzie? I’m coming in! Hide the naked men and drug paraphernalia, here comes Mom!” The door swung open. “Actually, just looking for dirty laun ...”

She blinked. The bedroom was empty. And unlike her normally neat daughter’s usual habits, it was a pigsty.

“Now where is she off to, so early on a Saturday,” she murmured. “And what is going on with this mess?”

She moved carefully through the room, picking up scattered clothing and discarded underwear as she went. But there seemed almost a progression, a time capsule of a week of changing tastes: jeans gave way to skirts, sensible shirts were gradually replaced with crop tops ... but it was the underwear Mom really started to notice. Thongs? Lace? Since when did her smart and more-or-less asexual daughter care about dressing like this? Chloe, sure, but Kenzie?

“I guess it had to happen sooner or later,” she sighed at this evidence of her younger daughter’s sexual awakening. “She is 18 now, after all. As long as she doesn’t start dressing or acting TOO slutty ...”

Her laundry basket full, Helen was on the way out when she saw the iPod, abandoned on the desk. That’s strange, she thought. Kenzie had rarely been without her music lately. Turning it over, she noticed a scrap of masking tape on the back marked with a “1” in pen. Ah, that explains it. She must have more than one ...

And, curious about what fantastic music had so obsessed her daughter lately, she went to find her own earbuds. No harm in giving it a listen while she continued doing the housework, she thought.

Helen hadn’t noticed that several of the panties seemed crusty with dried secretions, or that there was an odd stain on a couple of the tops, too. It hadn’t registered with her that there was only one bra in the whole room – Kenzie hadn’t worn one in days, from one of her sister’s many suggestions.

Leaving Kenzie’s bedroom, she glanced again at the sexy underthings on top. Sighed at her baby growing up. And said aloud, “Well, as long as it doesn’t interfere with her studies ...”

Singing this song long enough

Will turn you to a dumb slut

Super silly fragile minded

Sexpot giggly fuckslut

At around the same time, Kenzie was bent over between two college-age boys, a short red plaid skirt bunched around her waist and a simple white schoolgirl shirt hanging off one arm as she was slammed into from both ends. Her hair was in pigtails and her perky breasts bounced as the thick cocks fucked her drooling cunt and her drooling mouth, her eyes vacant and glassy as her brains dripped out of her holes. Her iPod lay near her panties several feet away, the masking-taped “3” just visible under the blue lace.

Her sister Chloe watched eagerly, rubbing herself occasionally, as she filmed the further debasement of her formerly goody-goody sister. “Yes, fuck her, boys,” she moaned. “Rape the IQ out of her a point at a time.”

The boys slammed into her harder, and Kenzie’s choking noises filled the video camera’s microphone for a moment. “How do you like being my compliant little fuckslut, Kenzie?” she called. “Your brain all fuzzy and floaty? Your libido buzzing and never satisfied, my entranced, docile, suggestible little sister?”

“Glukk gukk guhk gugg glukg gggghhhhhgg ...”

They were in the recording studio at the radio station where Chloe worked, in relative privacy. Sure, she’d had to bribe a couple of the studio techs to let them have some space to work, but since the price had been her sister’s body, the boys had been super willing to not only take the bribe, but appear in the amateur porn video that followed.

“You’re going to make me so much money,” Chloe told her mindwiped sister. “And you’re going to be so embarrassed to know that people are getting off watching you. You’ll feel such shame knowing that your reputation is being trashed. That people will come to know you as nothing but a stupid slut. But that embarrassment, that shame ... that will turn you on ...”

Kenzie’s body seemed to shudder as the idea took hold. (Though maybe that was just from the final slam of the cock in her mouth, as one of the techs emptied his load down her throat.) In her vulnerable state, her mind took in every suggestion as a really, really good idea. Her sister’s commands often – not always, but often – took root as solid facts, core personality traits.

The long cock pulled out of her mouth, covered in her drool, and Kenzie panted, trying to catch her breath as she was still being pounded from behind, strong hands pulling on her young hips. Her body wasn’t used to this kind of abuse, but Kenzie hadn’t felt anything to complain about in days. Even pain and soreness just made her giggle.

“You love that, don’t you slut,” growled the man who’d just painted her tonsils. “It feels great to be spit-roasted, and I bet you can’t wait to do it again.”

Kenzie suddenly shuddered again, as she gave in to a whole-body orgasm, shaking and screaming as the other man came in her unprotected pussy. “It does!! Oh fuck it feels great I love it I need it I love being spit-roasteeeeeedddd....”

Chloe raised an eyebrow, looking to the man now rubbing his slick cock across Kenzie’s slimed face, then back to her climaxing sister. Suggestible ...

It feels good to

Obey

Obey

Obey ...

Meanwhile, Mom was whistling as she hopped around Chloe’s room. She had been surprised to find her bedroom empty too, when she’d first entered – her 20-year-old “career woman” was a hard partier and generally slept in on a Saturday – but she wasn’t thinking about it anymore. She wasn’t thinking about much, really.

Don’t wanna be

Thinking

Thinking

Thinking

So fun to be

Giggly

Giggly

Giggly

Helen giggled. She couldn’t help it. What a fun, infectious tune! It made her want to dance while she worked. It filled her with happy little bubbles. She hadn’t felt so light in years! No wonder her kids couldn’t stop listening to this music ...

She tidied Chloe’s room, and moved down the hall. What could she do now? She had so much energy! But not paying the bills, no, that made her unhappy. Just thinking of it made her brain hurt.

Washing the dishes! That would be perfect. She wouldn’t need to think – just clean, and hum, and

smile ...

You love to be

Bubbly

Bubbly

Bubbly

When she was almost done – and where had the time gone?? – she suddenly splashed herself badly from the water hitting a skillet wrong. Ohhhh, her shirt was all wet. Better go change!

She unplugged herself from the iPod for the first time in an hour to pull her shirt over her head. But it was like she could still hear that happy little beat. What to wear?

She looked at herself in the mirror, in her bra and jeans. She was still attractive, only approaching her mid-40s. Getting out there dating again soon. She had nothing to worry about. (She HAD been worried, hadn’t she? But somehow, today, she couldn’t worry about anything!!) Dammit, I’m beautiful! she thought. And men are gonna want this ...

You wanna be

Sexy

Sexy

Sexy

Helen felt a sudden tingle of arousal, looking at herself. Thinking of meeting new men. And had a strange thought – would there be anything in either of her daughters’ wardrobes, that might fit her? She wanted to feel ... sexy ...

She walked down the hall, humming to the remembered tune, idly stroking her breasts through her bra, pinching her nipples without really thinking about it. Yes, sexy. I want to be sexy ...

But thoughts of teenagers’ clothing fell out of her mind as soon as she walked into Kenzie’s tidied bedroom, and spotted something she hadn’t seen the first time: there, on the dresser. Another iPod. She snatched it up, barely registered the number “2” scrawled on the tape.

Her mouth fell open as she stared at it, and she almost drooled. She didn’t know anything about drugs, was against drugs as a rule – but her body reacted exactly like a junkie about to get their next fix.

Where.

The FUCK.

Did I leave my earbuds...

Her bra was off before she left the room, but she didn’t even notice.

Don’t want to be

Brainy

Brainy

Brainy

[deadbydangit]

So I just read your Dbd Killers as parents and I was wondering if you could do the knight and the Oni too I'm sorry but I just love them so much and I just want to know what they would be like as parents you don't have to if you don't want to of course have a good day or night.

I absolutely can. I'm going to add another killer on there if that's alright. Please enjoy

Killers as Parents

Knight, Oni, Mastermind

Knight

First off, he doesn't really want to be a dad.

He never had any interest in children.

But he's also afraid he'd be an awful father.

He's terrible at expressing emotions other than rage.

The moment he lays eyes on the child, everything changes.

He'll become a papa bear.

His men are always around too, so the kids will have four 'uncles' to help out too.

God help anyone who lays a hand on this child.

Tarhos has very traditional views on what men and women should be doing.

So, if you have girls, expect him to be spending a little less time with them.

He will have a heavier focus on the boys.

From the moment they can lift a sword, they'll be trained.

If his daughter is interested in learning about the use of swords, he'll be hesitant.

You'll have to really prime him to understand that gender roles don't apply anymore.

If our son doesn't want to fight, he doesn't have to. If our daughter wants to learn how to use a sword, she can.

It might take him a while to understand, but he'll eventually get it.

He's not the most cuddly dad in the world.

But his children will always feel protected.

Even though he doesn't say it often, his kids know he loves them.

Oni

He's ecstatic!

Someone to carry on the family name.

Kazan never thought this day would really come!

He had a wife and son before, but he wasn't ready at that point in his life.

He's very ashamed at how little he paid attention and cared about them.

Now he's ready, and he's willing to make up for what he did.

He knows it won't change the past, but it at least brings him some solace knowing that he's really going to try this time.

However, he can't bring himself to hold the baby.

He's terrified he'll hurt them.

Just coach him through it and he'll slowly start to relax.

Kazan just needs you around to help him.

He used to be very traditional.

He had a very ridged view on what men and women should be doing.

However, after all he's seen in his life, his views have changed slightly.

If his son doesn't want to be a samurai, he'll be disappointed, but he won't hate his child.

But he'll still be teaching him basic self-defense, that's not up for negotiation.

If his daughter wants to learn how to use a sword, he'll be apprehensive, but he'll respect and teach her.

He's still going to want to put pretty clothes on her and put flowers in her hair.

He wants to see that beauty.

No matter what his kids end up doing (as long as it's something positive and productive to society) he's proud.

That being said, he can be very strict, but it's only because he wants to see his children grow up to be strong respectable adults.

But, in the end, it's because he truly loves them, just as much as he loves you.

Mastermind

Wesker is actually very excited to be a father.

Both of you, perfect beings, bring another perfect being into the world.

But he's also anxious about it.

He has so many enemies, and he's worried that you and the child will be a bargaining chip.

So, as much as he hates to do so, you both have to be a secret in his life.

It pains him to not be able to talk about how amazing his child and partner are.

But it's for your own safety.

He's often traveling for work, so he can't always be around

When he is able to be around, he's an excellent father.

He's willing to do his share of the housework, if not more, so you could get a break.

Playing with your children, teaching them skills, occasionally spoiling them.

He knows it won't make up for the fact that he's gone, but it's an effort.

No doubt they'll be athletically adept, so he would very much for them to find some physical activity to hone those skills.

His children will be respectful, polite, and well spoken.

He doesn't care if they go to work with him, or somewhere else to work (Just not the BSAA).

It's their lives.

As long as they make something of it, he'll be proud of them.

Those children will grow up to be honest, hardworking, intelligent people.

And, not for a second, will they deny that they had an amazing father.

[eggcompany]

Kill a Dixon Part 4

“Um, Miss… Miss Lori?” Daryl said nervously. He was sitting in front of a big pile of socks that were spreading across the coffee table, matching together fuzzy pink ones and ones with extra support and special ones that helped Lori’s pregnancy cankle situation. But behind him the woman was watching some TV show and combing through Daryl’s hair.

Daryl didn’t mind. 

Actually he was really enjoying the way her nails scratched against his greasy and probably still dirty scalp. He hadn’t washed his hair while at Officer Walsh’s but he had rinsed it well. It was dirty, yes but not too bad. He liked the way her pink would graze his ear every so often and how cool her hands felt on his forehead and ear. It made him feel safe. 

He was in a nice cozy home, with a full stomach, wearing fresh cleaned clothes with a very nice lady petting his hair while matching up nice clean socks. It was like… like a dream. 

“Yeah, Daryl? What is it?” Lori said and sat up a bit to look down at the boy. She was having a nice time. Daryl was very helpful. He got her a glass of water when she asked, brought her the piles of folded clothes so she didn’t have to walk from the bedroom to the living room, and she had to admit that he was really like a kicked puppy. He had no manners whatsoever and didn’t really know how to do everyday housework but he tried. He tried and he learned quickly. 

Daryl just swallowed and kept his eyes down. 

“Are they gonna make me stay with my daddy? Officer Walsh and Officer Grimes, are they gonna make me stay? I know I cain’t live with Officer Walsh and I cain’t stay here but-”

“You can stay here. Actually you will stay here. Down in the basement, now it’s not really fully finished but there’s a bathroom and we just had to put a bed into storage that we can put down there. We’ve got all the supplies to finish it but then Rick was promoted and then Carl happened and we haven’t had time since.” Lori said and started hatching out a plan. It would give Daryl a space but also be separated from the main house. Plus the door down locked from the outside if ever Daryl misused their trust, or someone came to hurt him they could lock their asses down there because no one’s ever gonna hurt this poor ba-

Lori stopped her thoughts and almost giggled to herself. She was almost glad the young man was bringing her maternal ways to light. Preparing her for everything she’ll feel for Carl, to a lesser degree but preparing nonetheless. 

Daryl turned around and looked at her with those beautiful blue eyes, loose socks falling to the floor from his lap. 

“Why?” The man said quietly and kept looking at her. Why were all these people being so kind? So caring? It hurt Lri’s feelings. 

She reached out and cupped his chin, feeling the few wiry hairs that inhabited it. 

“Because I said so. Rick can talk to the low income housing people and get them to see reason. I’m sure we can find you a job, at least something to get you some money until you can find a job you like. You don’t have to stay here, no one’s gonna make you stay or go. I have a good feeling about you Daryl, and I think you feel the same way about me.” Lori said in all sincerity while staring into Daryl’s eyes, making sure he understood. Daryl just stared at her and nodded after a moment. His face turning red and tears welling in the corners of them. 

Lori wiped the ones that started to fall and gave him a smile before leaning back. 

“Plus I’m pregnant and if you try to argue with me, I’ll cry.” She said in a joking way but Daryl just sat up on his knees and sniffed a little and looked right at her with seriousness. 

“I promise I won’t make you cry.” He said and she laughed. He looked confused but she just scratched at his head and he smiled. 

Soon her three valiant men were back. Shane hugged her and left to go back to work, Rick got ready for his shift and put dinner in the crock pot, and Daryl showed Lori all his stuff. She sat down on the couch and looked at his measly belongings. He had an old battered blue canvas backpack which was packed with one plastic comb, two foldable hunter’s knives, three sleeveless button downs, a pair of tattered blue jeans, and a picture of a woman sitting on a couch holding a baby while smoking a cigarette. He also had a cross boy with four arrows which he left on the porch. 

Lori helped him put the clothes in the wash and helped her down the stairs to the basement. 

“Oh you just didn’t put the insulation and the plywood up. You just gotta use screws, it’s easy, look.” Daryl said and started lifting things into place like a puzzle. Lori handed him screws once she found where Rick had left the drill, luckily it was on the charger. 

Once he had the last of the boards put into place he was sweaty and hungry and tired. It had been a few hours, so they went up and ate what Rick had made. 

That’s usually how the first few days went. 

Daryl slept on Rick and Lori’s couch. He got up before them and sat on their porch and watched the sun rise. Rick woke up and made breakfast for Lori to eat in bed and left a plate on the table for Daryl. Lori and Rick got showers ( shower usually) then Daryl waited for Lori in the laundry room and did up the laundry with her seated on the bench folding. 

They talked a lot. Daryl had never felt like he wanted to talk to anyone. He told her about his mom, Merle’s habits and friends, and of course eventually he told her about what daddy had done. Told her crying on the couch about the men. It had always been men that hurt him. And with cool calm hands she’d pet down his back and listen. At night she’d shed a few tears telling Rick that she wanted to swaddle up the boy and carry him around in her pocket and that she hopes those men rot in the worst corner of hell. 

They’d eat lunch, Shane would call or come by to check on him and bring him stuff. Comic books since Daryl had mentioned that he couldn’t read all that well, some good socks and new underwear since Daryl didn’t have very many, and of course he brought over new documents from the court house. 

Then Shane would leave or hang up, Rick would fuss about how Daryl could eat whatever he wanted since he ‘wouldn’t be worth keeping if he was gonna wither away’, and he’d leave. They’d go to the basement, Daryl and Lori, and work on drywall and paint. Daryl was always careful not to get anything on Lori and to not make too loud of noise. Lori however laughed and flicked paint at him saying that she wasn’t made of glass. 

Daryl found that he rather liked having his walls painted warm brown, a familiar color as his walls back home were dark wood shiplap. So they painted them brown and Shane helped him put the bed in the main room, just a boxspring and a mattress on the floor. Daryl was so happy he couldn’t contain his smile. 

Then he had sheets and a blanket and an orange and black patterned quilt. He had food and his own chores to finish. He had a routine. And he was never happier. 

Lori helped him look for jobs while Shane found out where would take him if he asked. Lori found that Daryl liked quiet jobs, solitary jobs. He also liked mechanics and had taken a mechanics class in highschool and had a few certifications. He had thought about a job as a cook at a diner but then one day Shane had come in with a smile and a pat on the back. 

A salvage yard. All he did was take things apart and toy things to different areas. It was the best. So then his routine changed. He got up, showered, put on his uniform, and caught the bus. He worked from nine till noon, walked three blocks to a little cafe where a very nice lady, Carol, had a cup of ice tea and the special of the day waiting for him, and walked back to work until three. Then he would walk around in the alleys and look for stray cats and maybe do a bit of dumpster diving. Shane would pick him up on the corner near the bank and drive him home. He would get a shower in his bathroom, put his laundry in the washer, and eat dinner with Miss Lori. 

Sometimes Rick was home during dinner but most of the time he wasn’t. 

He’d started a habit of putting all the clean laundry from the week in the round white basket and every Saturday him and Miss Lori would watch House MD and fold laundry. 

Rick told him he could stay as long as he wanted. So Daryl made a home. He found a gray patterned area rug and a floor lamp in his dumpster diving which ended up actually not looking too bad in his little apartment. 

He bought Miss Lori snacks and brought her little pastries from the cafe because he didn’t have the heart to tell Miss Carol that he really didn’t like sweets. He even made some friends at the yard. There was the owner, Dale, who would tell him all sorts of cool tips and tricks and mostly worked on his own projects. There was a little asian guy who came around every Monday looking for parts for his mustang that was older than he was and always falling apart. He ended up being a really nice guy who Daryl could tease with and talk to. The guy, Glenn, eventually started coming around to hang out and talk to Daryl. 

Then Glenn and Dale start talking and they end up having beers after work on Friday’s before Glenn’s shift at the pizza shop. Then Glenn starts bringing around this girl, his girlfriend, Maggie, and her and Daryl hit it off. 

So Daryl’s routine changes again. 

Eventually he finds a nice apartment in the building next to Glenn and Maggie’s. Rick and Lori send him off with the bed they let him have, a recipe book of easy cheap recipes, and promise that they’d always be there for him. Of course Lori had made him promise to come to the hospital when Carl was born, only a few weeks away. 

“He’ll need his Uncle Daryl after all.” She had said which caused him to cry like a baby right there in the doorway. 

Sundays were for visiting Lori and Rick and helping do laundry and the week's episode of House MD. 

Mondays were for talking to Glenn, changing his bed sheets (Miss Lori demanded of it) and occasionally going and renting a movie. 

Tuesdays were for cleaning his apartment and grocery shopping with Miss Lori. 

Wednesdays were Dinner at the Grimes residence and Daryl always did his best to bring something. Most of the time though it was a small package of beers and those fizzy cherry drinks Miss Lori liked. 

Thursdays he smashed cars and played checkers with Dale. 

Fridays he had a beer after work with Dale, Glenn, and Maggie. They listen to the radio and sometimes play checkers. 

Saturdays are for sleeping in and going with the flow. Sometimes Glenn came over, sometimes he went to Miss Lori’s, and sometimes he laid in bed all day. 

And every week was similar but slightly different. 

Soon enough he was going to the Grimes residence more and more often again. He was cleaning and cooking and rocking a little tiny baby in his arms. Lori would fall asleep anywhere she could and Daryl would be happier than hell to rock little Carl or feed him a bottle. 

Then he found a little puppy hiding under a car in the yard. Mangy and dirty and smaller than his hand. Daryl had taken the day off and took the little thing to the vet. 

At the end of the day Daryl was proud of himself. He had a place of his own, a good job, a sort-of nephew, a dog called Dog, and most important of all he finally had the one thing he’d never had before, a family. A family found in a husband and wife and a sweet little baby, a bachelor, a mechanic, a pizza delivery boy and his girl, a cafe owner, and a mutty puppy dog.

[october-faye]

Partner Track. Episode 10. Season (and Series) Finale.

Show, I've only really known you for about a week. But I've really enjoyed making fun of you.

Ingrid is passed out on the couch, surrounded by ice cream containers, wine bottles and take out food. I don't know how long it's been since the Gala, but from the debris, I'd say it's been at least a few days.

Z Min calls her and demands to know when she found out that Fossil Fuel Ted was planning to shutter Green Tech. Ingrid admits she's known for a while. He tells her he hopes it was worth it and hangs up.

Jeff shows up. He reveals that it has in fact been two weeks since the party! That means she's been hiding away in stale sweatpants for two thirds of their official relationship. And he's still here?

Wow, maybe he isn't a complete fuckboy.

He tells her the mourning period is over. He's brought food and, in Ingrid's words, is pity cooking for her again. How does she keep finding men who will cook for her? Through in Jeff's defence, he did say he raised his younger siblings and did all the housework when he was a poor little urchin.

Jeff tells her that Tyler got an offer from another law firm. Jeff suggests Ingrid look for a job at a new firm too. Ingrid is angry that she and Tyler are being forced to start-over due to their old firm's bullshit. But Jeff is more of a pragmatist. Idealism doesn't pay the rent. Ingrid replies that the idea of how things should be is why she loves the law.

I wish we'd had conversations like this between them in the first half of the show instead of all that forced sexual tension and no substance. It would've built them up as foils to each other a lot more, paving the way for a stronger storyline.

Jeff tells her that he's leased a new apartment, making his move to New York permanent. She's honestly happy for him. They hug and kiss. He wishes her a Merry Christmas. Ingrid realises that it's Christmas Day and that she forgot to visit her family. Oop!

Opening credits.

Ingrid's parents are begging Lina not to join the circus. She corrects them that it's Cirque du Soleil. Ingrid arrives and they open presents. They've brought her a leather briefcase. They assume she's made partner, and Ingrid drops the news that she quit.

Her dad immediately asks her what she did wrong, and he orders her to apologise and get her job back. Ingrid fires back that she did nothing wrong. They are being way harsher on her than they just were with Lina and her circus dreams. Ingrid walks out. Her mother follows after giving her husband the stink-eye.

Ingrid's mother reminds her that money is security. But Ingrid resents that if she's not the best, her dad doesn't think she's good enough.

She sulks in her old room. Lina stops by and gives her a second present. She tells Ingrid that she remembers the first day Ingrid came home from Harvard. Lina was proud of her then and is proud of her now. Ingrid opens the present. It's a booklet with IOUs for everything Lina owes her big sister.

Lina reminds her that their parents made Ingrid write Lina's application letter to Princeton. It made Lina feel like she couldn't do anything on her own. They admit how envious they've been of each other's role in their family. Lina apologises for stealing the earrings. Ingrid apologises too. Aww.

Ingrid then glances at her graduation photograph featuring her, Tyler and Rachel. I'm so ready for their rift to be over!

Speaking of, Rachel is back at work. She learns that Paralegal Justin has been moved to another floor since Ingrid quit. Nooooooo!

At least his L-SAT book and headphones are still there! 😭

Rachel's old client Wanda Jean is back. She's dressed up and grown up, running her grandma's business like a boss. But her siblings are still trying to get the farm out from under her. Wanda hooked up with an employee who was wearing a goose costume at the time, and someone filmed it. She's being blackmailed with girl on goose porn!

Tyler is redecorating his new apartment. Ingrid texts again, asking to meet. He finally gives in.

Jeff (who's in Ingrid's phone as 'Murphy', which I kinda like because she's probably only called him Jeff a handful of times) wishes her luck and sends her a kiss emoji.

Tyler and Ingrid catch up. He fesses up to cheating on Anthony. Ingrid tells him Jeff is serious about her. Tyler says maybe he was wrong about him (*cough*probablynot!*cough*)

Ingrid apologises for what she did. Tyler tells her he didn't know who was worse - her or Dan.

The answer is Dan. Always. What Ingrid did wasn't cool, and it hurts worse when it's a friend, but come on!

But he starts to come around and forgives her. He tells her the system is the problem and that you can't take down the man.

Ingrid agrees but says 'maybe you can take down a man'.

Rachel is out hunting the blackmailer. She sees an advertisement for playwriting classes and her heart skips a beat. She moves on and hunts down the amateur goose porn pervert. After taking a photo with him, she threatens him with a lawsuit for the blackmail and misuse of the Granny Goose trademark with his costume.

In the end, she offers him $50K to pursue his dream of becoming a pilot and gives him the pep talk she needs for herself about not being afraid to chase your dreams.

Oh, Paralegal Justin. You may be (temporarily?) gone, but your goofy motivational spirit lives on.

[femhypocrisy]

Cool, so let's dissect Little Miss Delusional Feminist:

Gender pay gap: doesn't exist, never has. She spouts bullshit about education & all this garbage for her little feminist cushy desk job. But why didn't you go into the trades? Why not become an engineer? Why don't I see any women picking up trash? What about all those strong, empowered women framing houses or replacing roofs in the dead of summer? Oh, right - those are MALE jobs that apparently don't require any education or skill to perform. Give me a fucking break, you wouldn't last an hour in most of the jobs men do to keep your comfortable, lazy little delusional world running.

"I don't want equality, I want equity". You've had equity for over 50 fucking years but STILL bitch about it not being enough. You're provided plenty of resources to do/get what you want but unless someone holds your fucking hand like a toddler, you refuse to do anything yourself. Always making up bullshit so men will protect or provide for you. Apparently can't go to the gym to work out, there's too many 'creepers' (aka dudes minding their own fucking business). Forget any fighting or self-defense skills, can't learn something that might save my life - gotta find some sucker white night man to fight my battles for me & save me from my own stupid fucking mouth. Weapons training? Shooting ranges? What are those? Why would I practice something to empower myself when I can play cunt victim & have some loser get his ass kicked on my behalf?

"Men are more likely to commit suicide". Nobody said that - they said men are more likely to be SUCCESSFUL at it. We're tired of you & the rest of the world expecting everything for a mediocre piece of stank-ass skunky diseased pussy that's been drilled out more than Deepwater Horizon. Women can't commit to a fucking thing, that's why you take the easy way out & play pretend with your suicide. Gotta keep that victim complex alive, after all! Typical fucking cowards with zero follow-through & the world praises them like their worthless fucking existence ever mattered.

"Women are more likely to go to college" - yep, because that's where the frats, booze & fun are all had. Has nothing to do with money & everything to do with, yet again, mediocrity. Only reason STEM was ever popular with women is because the media pushed it & they realized hey - this is barely a step up from being a glorified admin assistant! I'll copy & paste some bullshit I found online & don't understand for my stupid projects, then take credit for someone else's work like I've been doing since grade school. The perfect grift!

"Men get drafted, women don't". Pretty self-explanatory. Funny how any time it gets brought up, women have to deflect or talk about how nobody's been drafted in 50 years, as if that fucking matters. Not like it matters anyways, you're the same gender that makes housework sound like a daily trudge through the trenches, or cooking is oppression. Meanwhile men learned all the skills you refused to, from their mothers who actually stayed in their fucking lanes & didn't cause problems, plus we not only do it better but have artfully called out your bullshit everywhere we can. Cute how I can keep a 2000+ square foot house clean with a couple hours work, but your lazy, retarded ass acts like it's fucking quantum physics. The only reason anything like cooking, cleaning, or basic maintenance are difficult for you is because you refuse to listen or read instructions like a fucking adult.

Last but not least, the "build your own men's shelters". So not only are we in charge of making your life less difficult, we have to do twice the work because you refuse to acknowledge our problems or struggles. You turn a blind eye to everything men have to suffer with daily & fuck us if we get emotional, right? Just more ammo to call us out for being soft, weak, pussy, or whatever other trash you wanna spout from that ignorant rotten hole in your mongoloid face. Besides, we all know the truth: if we built these shelters, you worthless cunts would be lined up outside protesting it & trying to close it down, because "fuck the patriarchy". You're allowed your bullshit "safe spaces" but anything men build or create gets invaded by the fucking plague that is misandrist fake shithead feminists & almost immediately shut down.

[blackleopardgirl]

Is beyond annoying that Pearl continues to parrot these ideas that men are just *perfect* today and they’re so marriage material, responsible, and fit to actually support a family, and the young women are just a mess, and horrible as mothers when they become married.

When we all know the real reason why men beg women to go on dates with them and procreate with them, it’s because men know that they typically don’t like having to do housework. They typically don’t like to make a house a home, and to care for themselves, nonetheless another human being. This is why men never fight to be house husbands, it’s because they DON’T like that role. They want YOU, the woman to perform that role for them.

They’re just mad now that they’ve either experienced a divorce, seen someone experience one, or don’t like the idea of being divorced because of the humiliation, shame, hurt, and now responsibility that they’ll have to deal with when they’re on their own as a single man or single dad. ❤️ Lastly, this idea that dads are just fighting tooth and nail to be sole fathers to their children is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever seen or heard from this crowd. Men don’t want to carry around diaper bags on their Saturday afternoons and go grocery shopping, they don’t want to meal prep, and spend hours adding to the refrigerator calendar to find out when to take little Johnny to soccer, and when Sarah needs her braces tightened on Tuesday. They want to be the helper parent! The parent that *maybe* does the heavy lifting and listens to his child’s mother about where and how to care for their kids.

That’s it! Dads don’t want to be full time parents at all. All this foolishness about them DYING to just be in their kids lives. If that was the case, they’d all sign up for full custody, but they don’t. They take weekend custody because that’s all they can handle. They complain when it’s convenient for them because they’re oftentimes still upset that their child’s mother isn’t with them anymore and doesn’t make them food, wash their clothes, and clean the house for them anymore.

[b3ast0fburd3n]

(I'm rambling about Eden.) Unedited, maybe I'll do it later.

Now, originally, I was imagining Eden with kids 9-16ish. Children of pirates, younger people who weren't sold or killed for various reasons. But @prvtocol brought up a great point, Eden is one of, if not THE youngest pirate. There are others her age, maybe a few one or two years younger than her, but what I was going for is hard to imagine with those facts.

So instead, I offer: Eden tries to parent anyone she sees lacking in an area she's proficient in. Hayes, for example, was the kind of neglected by his parents that led to getting by on the bare minimum. He'll drink a fifth of bourbon for dinner if he doesn't feel like finding food. Eden, however, was at least taught how to fend for herself. So when little 15-year-old Eden joins the pirates and sees Hayes (the adult that offered to protect her, btw) eating scraps practically out of the garbage, she starts teaching him to hunt. Six years later, he hasn't retained any of the information. She gave up after he stopped improving (a couple months in) because it was obvious he really didn't care.

AND BRI (bc she's canon to me) is soooo different, like she's from a whole other world. Eden sees this chick. Stumbling through the mud. Stepping in feces. Politely smiling? She's like. Okay. I need to teach you everything I know so you can improve. (I should note! It's not that she sees lack in those she wants to parent, she just sees a way she can be useful.) Anyway, while we're here with Bri, I wanna talk about how I think their friendship changed Eden

So we know Eden isn't like. A girl, right? She is female! But "woman" just by default. (She'd be non binary if she grew up in a different time with different people) she gets kinda mad when people call out her physical sex, because she doesn't think about it in the context of herself. When the pirates start calling her "Eddie" I think she feels a Lil surge of trans joy. But it's too "nickname-y" to use professionally, so she tries to stick with Eden with people like Volker (who specifically calls her Eddie just because he knows she won't do anything about it)

Anywayanyway the reason I brought that up. Eden befriending Bri is like. Like she's met women before, obviously. But bri is the first business woman, I guess. She isn't powerful because she's masculine, she is simply a woman with (perceived, at least) power. I know her whole job is more complicated than that, but Eden simplifies things in her mind. She believes there is a hierarchy, and since Bri isn't like the people on Edens level and certainly isn't like the people she sees as below her, Bri gets put above her. And (probably due to internalized misogyny,) there aren't many women up there.

I think it changes her whole worldview tbh. She spent her formative years in a cult that, while every member was treated equally, the men did the outside work the women did the housework. So there's this deviance in being a woman that specializes in outside work. She takes pride in being different in that way. (she takes pride in it UNTIL someone/a man points it out) One of the reasons she 'hates' Beth is because they're so similar in how useful are, but more pirates prefer to spend their free time with Beth, meaning social skills, which Eden lacks.

Speaking of her lacking social skills. She's autistic. Not formally diagnosed, because she hasn't been to a real doctor since she was an infant, but cmon she is. She moves weird and talks weird and gets really intense about things she enjoys and follows rules to the letter because of rigid black and white thinking and she hates eye contact and gets easily over/understimulated.

Hey Eden tries to parent young pirates btw. Even when they spit at her and call her a bitch she teaches the same way Jacob taught her

[ghost-like-pale]

a flinch is enough

info: the past never forgets, and techno never forgives. 》 they/them 》 in canon + platonic 》 1.4k words

warnings: sexual assault, explicit descriptions of murder/blood, hurt/comfort, swearing

a/n: this was a request from my beautiful 🌹 anon, thank you for sending this in. i made the implications of sexual assault a a little more subtle but i still hope you like it.

this blog it meant as a way of coping with trauma/mental issues, please don't report it. if you don't want to see what i write, please just block me.

——♤——

the moonlit sky was a beautiful dark blue as you stared at the light. you had been doing housework the entire day due to your counterpart being too busy with whatever he was brewing upstairs. the piglin hybrid usually helped you when he was home, it's his house after all. but today was different, you supposed.

you were so caught up in the moon's doings that you didn't notice the tall figure creeping down the stairs and right behind you. he assumed you were aware of him and went to tap on your shoulder.

as soon as he does you whip your head around, backing away from him as you hold one arm in front of your face and the other in front of your lower body. the shaking of your body became more prominent as time went on.

"(y/n)?"

you couldn't look at him. you weren't strong enough.

"(y/n), please. look at me."

you lowered your arms hesitantly and looked him in the eyes still filled with fear.

"(y/n), i'm not going to hurt you. i promise."

you averted your gaze and drop both your arms. tears leaked out of your eyes and cupped your face with your hands, all the memories coming back and hitting you like a truck.

"i'm so sorry, techno."

you dropped to the floor, your knees buckling under you and techno barely being able to catch you. you felt a heavy, warm cape drape over your figure while a worried piglin grunt escaped techno's throat. he got on one knee and rested one of his hands on your shoulder.

"don't apologize."

two simple words managed to tug at your heartstrings so harshly you couldn't hold it in anymore. you sobbed loudly into your hands, completely losing any posture you tried to maintain. techno was startled, thinking he did something wrong. he quickly snapped out of it, however, and pulled your body by the shoulders into his chest. his firm grasp made you feel secure, stifling your cries a little.

"...are you alright?"

you knew he had no idea how to handle it from here, but you appreciated the concern and kindness he showed. you pulled back from his embrace and wiped your eyes gingerly.

"i'm.. a little better."

"good."

the voices wanted to know who did this - who made you this way. who the fuck hurt you? he tried to keep them quiet, but he wanted them dead as much as his mind.

"can you tell me what happened?"

everything was silent for a few seconds. the voices were quiet, nothing came out of techno's mouth. you sighed and shakily started explaining yourself. techno listened silently, trying to catch every detail and description of the man who scarred you. he had a basic image of him in his mind by the time you were done.

"thank you for telling me."

techno glanced outside the window, the soft glow of the moon telling him it's late. how long had he been brewing? he shuffled a bit and eventually stuck an arm under your legs and upper body. with a small yelp you were lifted a few feet in the air, the cape that you were siting under fell off your back and onto the floor in the proces.

"you need some rest."

you didn't bother trying to stop him. your mind was foggy and your body felt heavy.

"thank you, techno."

"shh, there's no need to thank me."

in comfortable silence you were carried up the stairs and into techno's room. you were confused, you had your own room after all. you didn't mind, though. he placed you on the mattress he slept on rarely. his bed was bigger, the blanket was heavier, the pillow was softer, everything felt better. you wrapped yourself in the plush blanket and felt your eyelids getting heavier already.

"sleep well, (y/n)."

just as he was about to stand up you grabbed a hold of his wrist. he looked at you quizzically, knitting his eyebrows together.

"where are you going?"

"don't worry, i won't be away for long. now sleep."

"fine. good night, techno."

"good night."

—

looking through his bag once more technoblade checked if he forgot to grab anything; he had food, arrows, ender pearls, potions and a small knife. on his hips hung his axe, crossbow and sword, yearning to be used. his bag was full and everything he needed was in his possession. before he opened the door techno noticed the red velvet fabric resting on the ground. with a few paces he arrived in the kitchen and picked up the cape. he swung it over his shoulders and adjusted it carefully. with a loud exhale he stepped out of his house and into the cold weather of the tundra. he whisteled a command and one of the wolves in the pack jumped out of the enclosure it sat in and rushed over to techno's side. he was going to find them.

you've shown him your previous residence multiple times, which is where he was going to look first. it was his best guess. while making his way over to your former abode the wolf that traveled with him was scouting out ahead, hoping it would find it faster than techno.

techno's eyes shoot in the animal's direction when it starts barking aggressively at a moving figure across the woods. the voices screamed at him to assist his pet, to shoot him, kill him immediately, to which he happily obliged. he sped over to his companion, hoping to catch a better glimpse of the person.

"stop him, now!"

techno ordered the animal. after a few seconds he heard a loud thud followed by a yell belonging to a man in immense pain. he made his way over to the barking wolf, it having a slightly stained mouth from its jaws going through the man's flesh and muscles. he found them.

"what's the rush?"

he towered over the other male pathetically writhing on the floor. his calf had a nasty teeth mark, bleeding profusely and covered in dirt and saliva.

"p-please... don't... hurt me!"

"why shouldn't i?"

technoblade hated these kind of men; not even willing to fight or run. just begging and whimpering for mercy. it made him sick. the wolf that followed him all the way here was still barking, ready to tear the man to shreds.

he takes his netherite axe off his hip and hoists it over his shoulder. techno looks the other man right in the eyes, fully aware it fills him with fear. he wanted to feel everything you were put through. he was going to feel your pain.

"i...i've never done anything to you..!"

technoblade froze at the sentence. nothing? he thinks he's done nothing? he's not completely wrong; he's never physically hurt him - he's never even met him before. his train of thought was interrupted by the voices yelling in his head. they were screaming at him to cut him, to strangle him, to burn him, anything. he needed to feel pain.

"does the name (y/n) mean anything to you?"

the horror on the man's face got worse by the second, him figuring out why techno is here. the piglin drops to one knee and gets about an inch away from his victim's face.

"am i going to get an answer?"

"y-yes! we were friends a few years ago."

techno let his axe fall off his shoulder and into the dirt, the blade only falling a few inches away from the other male's injured leg.

"do friends traumatize each other?"

the question filled the victim with dread, his monotone voice only adding to the fear.

"y-you don't know what we did!"

the sudden surge in confidence surprised techno, to be sure. there was nothing more pathetic than a man yelling at the brink of death in such a tone. he scoffed with an amused expression and retracted his axe back into the holder that rested on his hip.

"yeah! they were lying to you, i promise. that's the reason i stopped being friends in the first- GAH!"

his sentence was cut of by a dagger being plunged into his stomach and dragged up to his ribs, cutting open his body. he mewled and moaned in agonizing pain, unable to form any coherent words.

"you disgust me."

technoblade stood up, his ears twitching and voices pleased. the blood on his hand dripped on the dried leaves as he called the wolf he brought with him. as the animal sped over to technoblades' side the screams of the impaled man were completely gone. looking over his shoulder he sees the lifeless body of the man who has haunted you for a long time.

he'll never hurt you again.

——♤——

thank you for reading, hope you liked it.

masterlist

taglist;

@esylwen

[ela-loomis]

Slashers’ reactions to you being tired and crawling into their lap all sleepily!

I lost the ask, but thank you for requesting ducky!!

Michael: 

- Depending on what he’s doing at the moment, he’s either going to indulge you or toss you onto the floor. 

- If he’s actually busy (not likely, considering how disinclined he is to do things like housework, but anyway) he’s going to let you crawl onto his lap and get comfy...and then he’s going to huff and either stand up so you fall, or simply push you away.

- He might feel a bit bad about it if your feelings get hurt, but not anywhere close enough to let you get on his lap again. Work is work!

- He will apologise later though, usually by making you a hot chocolate or tea before bed.

- If he’s not busy (so most of the time) he’s going to huff again, but much more fondly.

- He’ll watch you with warm eyes as you get nice and comfy against his chest, though he won’t say anything.

- He’ll wrap an arm around you loosely, just to make sure you don’t roll around in your sleep (totally not because he thinks you’re cute and wants to hug you, nope not at all.)

- If he’s in a particularly good mood, he’ll even run his hand through your hair to soothe you into sleep.

- But don’t mention it, unless you want him to stop and push you off; the old man is a big baby.

Jason:

- Unless he needs to go take care of some unruly campers, his lap is free for the cuddling whenever, wherever.

- He’s cooking, but you want snuggles? Fuck that food, it’s nap time! He’s emptying an animal trap, but you came all the way outside to find him for cuddle time?? He’s carrying you back inside, the traps can wait.

- Sweet boy loves you so much, he just wants to make you happy all the time :(((

- Besides, it’s really a win-win situation for him! You get to sleep peacefully, he gets to hold you; what’s not to love?

- He might squeeze you a little too tightly at first, but he’ll quickly learn exactly how to best hold you so that you let out a happy little sigh.

- If he really is too busy to cuddle at the moment, he’s going to be so sad as he keeps you a little distance away from him. 

- He’ll look like he’s on the verge of crying, and you’ll probably have to reassure him that you don’t hate him over and over again when he comes back :(((

- Best boy just wants to love you :((((((

Yautja:

- Your Yautja is somewhere between the above two men, honestly.

- If they’re busy, they’re not going to just push you off of them and go about their business, but they’re not going to be heartbroken over rejecting your hugs either. Work is one of the most important things to Yautja, and you know that.

- They wouldn’t be unkind, but they would be firm in keeping you at a distance; there will be time for cuddles when the work is done.

- When they’re not busy, though, expect alllll the love.

- Your Yautja will watch you start to climb into their lap, and will probably pull you the rest of the way against them, squeezing you close and nuzzling the the top of your head with their cheek.

- They will absolutely make cooing noises at you and squeeze you tighter if you yawn or make any kind of sleepy noises while they’re holding you.

- God forbid anyone makes a noise while you’re sleeping on your Yautja’s lap; they will hit that person with a look that melts skin and bare their teeth at them. Don’t they know that humans need their sleep?!