#and the greens are very obvious the antagonists of the dance

[thesilverlady]

I'm not enough of a book purist to not being able to enjoy headcanons, crackships etc (as a matter of fact I do love them). But seeing newbies unironically and completely serious considering aemond to "trying to be the perfect son", or "heleana is the people's princess" or "rhaenyra is calm, collected and strategic", "Daemon is the family's clown, the agent of chaos" legit gives me a headache because they are nothing like that.

And I'm not talking about ppl writing fanfics with this type of characterization, but ppl legit having takes based on the terrible portrayal of the show. And even when they go to read f&b they still have the image the show gave them because they don't seem capable of letting go.

it just feels like Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen character assassination all of again.

There are so many people who consider Jon to be basically ned 2.0 and Dany a mad queen-girlboss-slay

I just wish we could seperate books from adaptations. That's all

[queenvhagar]

I love your takes!! I would have loved to see Alicent raise her kids to be her strongest allies after realizing she had none at court.

Like THAT'S the greens! They are here for each other because nobody else is here for them.

Younger Aegon teases Aemond about his dragon in front of others, and his mother reminds him of the dangers of the future and the importance of defending this family. At Driftmark, Aegon complains about his match with Helaena (Viserys' idea in the books btw not Alicent - perhaps an unwillingness to marry Alicent's children into other houses and find potential allies in them, or perhaps due to Targaryen custom, as his own parents were siblings) and Aemond speaks of duty to their family in response, risking his lift to claim the largest dragon in the world. In retaliation for this he is ambushed and his eye is cut out, and it's this moment when all the Green children realize that they truly are the only people on their side. Their own father would willingly mutilate should they spoke the truth of Rhaenyra and her sons, their sister would have them tortured and disabled to help herself and her sons, and their mother is the only one who seems to care that this is an injustice. They learn that the threat to their person is real and excusable to the king and his heir should it be necessary.

From here, the siblings are united against this threat. Aegon and Helena marry and make heirs (Aemond and Daeron are still not betrothed, likely due to the reasons listed above). Rhaenyra comes to court to defend her son's claim to Driftmark as Laenor's trueborn son, and when one man says aloud the obvious truth that this is a lie, the king is determined to have his tongue cut out of his mouth, and he permits that he cut down from behind by his brother, Rhaenyra's husband, without consequence. At dinner, Rhaenyra's eldest asks Helaena to dance to insult Aegon, and the one who cut out Aemond's eye feels such little remorse that he laughs in his face about past harms. So Aemond baits them to fight by alluding to the truth, and when the first punch has been thrown against Aemond, Aegon joins the fight against Rhaenyra's two sons. Once Viserys dies, Aemond brings Aegon to the coronation, later going to Storm's End to betroth himself and gain House Baratheon as an ally to his family. Aegon celebrates Aemond's actions and invites him to his small council.

Blood and Cheese rocks the very core of this family when Aegon and Helaena's six year old son is brutally slain before Helaena and her mother's eyes. Helaena is forever changed and unable to leave her room. Aemond feels responsibility as it is all in response to his own actions. Aegon rages. Then the two work together with the lord commander to plan an ambush for their opponents and get vengeance for this terrible act inflicted upon their family.

If the writers needed Aegon and Aemond in conflict this season it should have been due to Aemond's actions being linked to the loss of this young child, but no matter the issue between these two it would never result in Aegon publicly humiliating Aemond and then Aemond suddenly deciding to kill him and his dragon.

This characterization of Aemond really is the last unraveling of this family in the show this season. He is suddenly antagonistic toward his own family, trying to kill them, physically grabbing them, removing them from power (though justified with Alicent's characterization). Alicent is afraid of him apparently enough to run to Rhaenyra and give up her children. Helaena refuses to ride her dragon in the war as she's unaffected by the death of her child and decides to tell Aemond his death to his face. Aegon knows he tried to kill him and runs away to Essos.

Realistically, Alicent would have raised her children to be their staunchest supporters and prepared them for the roles they must play. They fight for power as a family to protect themselves from threat, and Aemond would under no circumstances have actually tried to have Aegon and his dragon killed with the purpose of seizing the throne for himself. The Greens have legitimacy through Aegon, the king's firstborn son, and his heirs, and each of the fewer dragons they have on their side gives them a better chance against the threat of Rhaenyra's. Aemond would never willingly cause the Greens to lose Aegon and his dragon. The Greens have always known that it's them against the world and this would not change once war is declared.

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

it was really a bad take that rhaenyra used "sons" in her conversation with rhaenys, if viserys used "childrens" in her conversation with corlys why didn't she use it too? and this argument about SONS involving all genders is kind of dumb since like I said viserys used CHILDRENS and a common person will always understand sons-male, and it's sad because this scene will always be used as an argument about how rhaenyra only cares with her right as a woman to inherit something. I don't know if it's the fault of the script and its incoherence or if it was the screenwriter wanting to show how "hypocritical" Rhaenya is

Condal has always been very green leaning. The recent interview where he said we'd change sides (as if) after seeing season two makes me honestly think he was trying to discredit Rhaenyra.

The constant attempts by the show to undermine her claim and validity are so annoying. Making her be so inactive in KL (at least on screen), choosing to make the Velaryon boys' legitimacy a bigger deal than it is in the book, and trying to make us feel bad for how she treated Alicent after Viserys married her (again, as if) just show how little Condal actually cares about telling the true story of the Dance.

The fact that he's constantly trying to defend the greens (including Aegon the rapist) is very telling. He and Hess spend so much time trying to make them more sympathetic while demonizing the blacks for no reason. They just want to detract from the fact that misogyny (specifically against Rhaenyra) is the true issue of the Dance. They ruin and abuse the gray morality of GRRM by trying to remove the obvious antagonists of the story, the greens.

Basically, yeah I'd totally believe that Condal was trying to undermine Rhaenyra and make her out to be a hypocrite (how feminist am I right?) I hate basically all of his and Hess' decisions regarding the story. They should try writing their own original story instead of butchering Rhaenyra and her story. Because it is her story, not Alicent's, it belongs to Rhaenyra and her children.

[horizon-verizon]

The fact is that in the series the main characters are Rhaenyra and, fuck Alice Hightower, disgusts me so much.

If there are two main characters at the dance, it's very clearly Rhaenyra and Daemon.

Rhaenyra is the main character in this story, and Daemon the second, in addition to being the main male character.

They are the main characters.

Seriously, Alicent is inactive during the war and we hardly hear about her. It's ridiculous.

I'll add that there's a few other things that are so annoying, which is that they sell Rhaenyra and Alicent as the two main characters, but every time it's Olivia who's usually the center of the pictures, Emma not even close to her, strewn aside as if Emma was actually a supporting character.

Here is an example :

https://www.google.com/search?q=hotd+cast&client=ms-android-samsung-ga-rev1&prmd=insv&sxsrf=AJOqlzU_M61y91EyW4gpjJBzAgcSaEicAQ:1678596566317&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi8x7nAy9X9AhW3YKQEHTuZDoEQ_AUoAXoECAEQAQ&biw=360&bih=648&dpr=3#imgrc=-FE24HqCdC3BHM&lnspr=W10=

The favoritism is so obvious.

If we are just saying "main characters", the TV's main characters are Rhaenyra (#1), Daemon, Alicent, and Aemond. If we are going by book series, it's those people plus Aegon II and Alicent.

But the protagonist of the story at large is Rhaenyra (EDIT: and Daemon) and her antagonists are Alicent and Aegon II: more the latter during the war, and the former before the war. (EDIT: When I say before vs after, I refer to how Alicent becomes a secondary antagonist after she calls the council and Aegon the Elder takes the helm.)

It's not about who is "good" but about focus. But at the same time, it's also true that Rhaenyra is not the evil that needs smiting -- it is through Alicent's internalized misogyny and Book!ambition that Rhaenyra loses and women in Westeros lose whatever else respect that could have had or incrementally gained through the event of a female ruler, a woman being put into a position over men and that being naturalized as it should have been.

So yes, there is no argument for why Alicent should have been the most central character alongside or sometimes before Rhaenyra. Because this story is not about Alicent's victimhood, it's about Rhaenyra's degradation and loss of power at Alicent's hands as well as the Westerosi patriarchy's (represented through Aegon II).

The marketing is clearly green-flavoured, and it leaves such a sour taste for me. Like corruption.

NOTE: look at reblogs for a reconsideration about canon!Daemon.

[darklinaforever]

1. I'm going to teach you a very simple thing. The law is the word of the king in the GRRM universe. If Viserys decreed that Rhaenyra was his heir, then she is his heir. No more no less.

2. You spoke of royal men, not of noble men. Otto is not a royal men. And sorry, but House Hightower is not as important compared to other houses in the GRRM universe / in the ASOIAF books... Is just the true. Sorry.

3. My mistake for Vaemond, I don't wear my glasses, having forgotten them at home and being elsewhere. And... where did I get this ? Well in the book. You know, where Aemond, after having massacred the entire Strong house, took Alys as a prize of war ? Which involves rape. And I won't even bother explaining further if you don't understand how Alys is most likely the victim of rape by Aemond...

4. I'm talking about the children of the Greens team. The usurpers, therefore members of the Greens team, not survived and had descendants. It's literally karmic punishment. While Rhaenyra's lineage continued. And, are you aware that the show is not the books and that Daenerys and Jon probably won't get the end of the show at all ? Like, Daenerys isn't going to turn crazy and evil in the GRRM books, that's pretty obvious. The Targaryens are not the big bad guys in the GRRM universe. On the contrary Daenerys and her dragons are what will help against the White Walkers. The threat is cold and ice. And what can defeat that is fire, represented by Daenerys and her dragons. If you are interested, you should check out the Phoenix Ashes YouTube channel. But I'm pretty sure you won't go see it at all.

5. BOTH sides committed equal atrocities ? Really ? The canon is not agreed with you...

6. I've already explained my point of view on the books and you obviously don't understand what the books are about.

7. No. The people don't call her Maegor with teats because she's horrible. I already said why they started calling it that. This nickname was given to Rhaenyra after she raised taxes because the Greens literally emptied the kingdom's coffers. Demonstrating that a female monarch is always judged more harshly than a man even if she is clearly not an equivalent in terms of cruelty. At no time can the increase in taxes, the original reasons for this nickname, put her on an equal footing with Maegor. So yes, it’s a form of misogyny.

8. If the Greens are not the antagonists /villains, why did they start the war for the sole purpose of obtaining power that was not theirs ? Why are they usurpers ? Why has Alicent, an adult woman, harassed Rhaenyra, a child, from the moment she was named heir ? Why is Aegon II a rapist ? Just like Aemond is a rapist, who has also committed countless massacres, being borderline described as a little demon from birth while the dance is mainly told by pro greens sources ? Why is Criston Cole a man without honor ? Why did each member of the Greens team die a horrible and / or pathetic death ? (while most of the members of the Black team have dignified and heroic deaths ?) Why was their entire lineage extinct ? (I remind you that Rhaenyra's lineage is not at all extinct, Daenerys, still alive, is her descendant, just like Jon) If they are not the bad guys, why do they generally not give a damn about people ? Why are they capable of committing the worst crime in Westeros ? Namely killing their own family members ? Why a huge list of war crimes ? The Greens are the antagonists of the Dragon Dance ! They literally started shit for no reason other than greed for power. Why couldn't the Greens be bad guys ? They have all the characteristics. And GRRM has already written plenty of villains. Stop with the myth that GRRM only writes nuanced characters. Your comprehension problems are really big...

I would also like to clarify a few things.

Even if Rhaenyra and Team Blacks don't specifically fight for feminism and women's rights, if Rhaenyra becomes queen it will set a precedent for the right of women to inherit the throne! Unlike Aegon who will not help this aspect in society. (needing to change)

Then, the Blacks team, although fighting for their team and Rhaenyra to have the throne, it is not just a question of power. It is also the fact of respecting the law / the word of the king, of honoring his promises and his oaths. Fighting for the honor and future of their house and their family. Also, a form of technical change.

The Greens' fight is due to the pure ambition of power, to steal what is not yours / to be a usurper, to go against the law / the will of the king, that oaths and promises do not worthless, fighting for archaic patriarchal traditions with keeping men first.

Not to mention the purity of blood with their aversion to children born out of wedlock while the Blacks team essentially has nothing to do with it... (As proven by the fact that Jacaerys is not at all mostly contested as heir... And then also the simple fact that there is no real proof on the paternity of the children and that only the Greens were interested in this to discredit Rhaenyra)

You do not agree ? Not my problem if you don't have reading comprehension.

Honestly, you're probably one of the worst people I've ever chatted with on tumblr. You are completely biased. And I've clearly had my fill of your nonsense. Oh and also : Frankly. You’re everything that’s wrong with society. You disgust me. You are stupid.

Being a female viewer and hating Criston Cole is deranged.

I have to get this off my chest. The blind hatred that Criston is receiving from women is insane and I’m going to explain why.

For context, I am talking about Show Criston, not Book Criston. Comparing two standalone versions of a story is silly.

I cannot wrap my head around the fact that so many women, who are the primary victims of utilitarian relationships, would ever come together and shit on Criston for enduring such a situation.

I’m sorry, but how many of you have been used by men? How many of you have been reduced to one night stands, situationships and placeholder wives? How many of you have been deemed “not good enough” to be an exclusive partner? I log into tiktok and I see NOTHING but stories of broken women who are just used for sex, money, care and whatnot by men, and then they are tossed away like worthless trash while said men continue their pursuit of the ideal woman. Being used by men just for sex and being denied the status of girlfriend, let alone wife, is probably one of the worst plagues women are experiencing in the western world because the MOMENT we were emancipated, men understood that they don’t owe us shit anymore and instead of treating us with respect, they decided to grab whatever they can and give nothing back. Do not tell me that there are women out there that are fine with this arrangement because the multiple “GWM while I tell you about the guy that was with me for 12 years and then married someone else” tell a different story, one of multiple women’s dignities being trampled by hungry men. My heart breaks for every woman (EVERY woman, cis, trans, EVERY woman) who has been called by a man she loves just for sex, for every woman whose man never wanted to be seen in public with her, for every woman who had to hear that her man is not ready for a relationship only to witness him getting engaged to another woman 2 weeks after. I hope you overcome this and become stronger and I am glad that we are finally supporting one another.

How can we then, the women who are helping other female victims rise up and speak out against this kind of abuse, push Criston down and tell him to suck it up and accept being Rhaenyra’s plaything? Have we no mercy? Are we so hungry for revenge against men that we’d want them to endure the same humiliation that we did, as if one fictional man’s suffering would bring us justice? Are we so jealous that Criston didn’t sit down and just take it like the rest of us, but instead spoke up and removed himself from that situation? Or are we so gullible that we accept what the screenwriters shove down our throats and unknowingly support the patriarchic view that if you’re being used by someone you should just accept it?

I can hear some of you arguing that “Oh, this is different because Rhaenyra is royalty!” as if being used and tossed by a powerful person somehow makes the situation any better? Would it be okay if a rich person wanted to constantly use you for sex while he keeps looking for a better woman to be by his side, just because he values his wealth and status more? Rhaenyra straight up sneered at the idea of a simple life with him. She straight up told him that HE is not worth as much as her crown. OUCH. Even though I can’t even begin to imagine the pain of being told you are not enough by your loved one, it was Rhaenyra’s right to choose what her priorities are, but WHY would he have to accept being her sidepiece? “These were different times”: does this make it any less devastating for the victim? And he was a victim because Rhaenyra still used Criston and misled him by constantly complaining about how she HATES her duties for YEARS and then luring him to break his oath. Do you think he would have still slept with her if he was aware that moments ago, Rhaenyra was begging on her knees to be fucked by Daemon and only turned to Criston because her first option was no longer available? Like, the man was contemplating having sex with her and resisted her for a good fucking while, so imagine how quickly he would have turned around and walked out that door if he had that information beforehand. You know why? Because he loved her. He loved her to the point that he broke his oath for her, the oath of a station he FOUGHT FOR IN A WAR. He shed blood and sweat and risked his life for the mere opportunity to gain that position. This was ALL he had, he came from NOTHING and he was still willing to toss it all away for Rhaenyra not once, but twice. It wasn’t just sex he wanted because we never see him have sex again after that. He became vulnerable and gave up everything that he was to be with Rhaenyra. He was willing to abandon his whole identity for her sake. Is this not what the ideal partner is? Ready to abandon everything for your shake? Everything he fought for, tooth and nail? Was he unreasonable in thinking that Rhaenyra was willing to do the same for him? Was he crazy to think that because he was ready to put everything he FOUGHT for aside for her shake, Rhaenyra would also put aside a duty she was handed and actively seem to hate for him too? Fuck no! After hearing her constant talk about how she hates her father, her duties, her refusal to wed other men, how she is trapped as a princess, how people have no idea how much it SUCKS being her, why would he not assume that she’d be willing to give it all up for him, as he’d do for her We never see Rhaenyra even TRY to be a ruler, just complain about it. Of course it would be a fucking shock to him hearing her say “Lol dude, I actually do kinda want this”.

Criston was actually the only person in the series that wanted Rhaenyra for her, not her money or crown. I’m not saying she had to follow him, it was her right to refuse him, but his willingness to lead a simple life with just her has got to mean something. And don’t give me that “he only wanted to redeem his honour by marrying her” crap, because first of all Criston nutted up and admitted everything to Alicent and was ready to face death without EVER blaming Rhaenyra for anything, and second of all, oh no, how dare a human being have ethical values and desire to live with dignity in society’s broad light rather than move in the shadows as the princess’s secret boytoy! Bad, bad Criston for feeling you have to atone for your sins. Maybe we as people have become so corrupt that we envy those who wish to walk a virtuous path in life. Or maybe y’all have become so fond of the unhinged unapologetic character trope because it feels “original” (even if it’s ridiculously overused nowadays) that you’ve actually forgotten what characters with good morals are. Like, picking your fave war criminal and rolling with them because you enjoy good drama, especially in a show that’s meant to provide entertainment, is one thing, but passionately stating that Criston had to submit to that humiliation is something else entirely.

Finally, let’s ditch the Criston being a misogynist bullshit because he had NO issue obeying Rhaenyra before their affair or Alicent. And he is ALWAYS true to himself and his values, because even after everything he endured, he did not use Alicent’s anger as an excuse to take revenge on Rhaenyra and harm her children. Criston never betrayed her, Rhaenyra used him and he walked away and he went towards the only person who seemed to spare him some sympathy and understand him and not condemn him for his crimes even if he hated himself, which is typical victim mentality. And don’t get me started on the Joffrey incident because y’all tore Cole to SHREDS for it. Joffrey had it fucking coming. You don’t go up to people’s faces, especially ones you don’t know, threaten them by telling them you know their secret, a secret that SHAMES them and burdens them to the point they’re ready to commit suicide, and all but directly call them a whore. What the fuck did he think was going to happen? They’d shake hands? Piss off. Let this be a lesson to anyone that doesn’t know how to keep their mouths shut and their noses out of other people’s business. Also, mocking his suicide attempt makes my stomach turn. Just take a moment to consider all the young women who just like him, reluctantly surrendered their virginities to men only to find out they were nothing but sex dolls in their eyes, all these girls whose trust led to their secret being spread and them getting ridiculed and slut shamed for it: how many girls have taken their own lives because they found living with such a burden unbearable?

For the love of everything you hold sacred, please wake up sisters. The narrative that you can be used by someone powerful and you have to accept it because that’s the way things are is a man’s construct. Do not let them fool you.

[sakura-haruka]

It’s something that has been annoying me for a very long time. Why the writers of Game of thrones/house of the dragon feel the need to make so many antagonists sexual predators.

I’m gonna take 3 very obvious examples:

Joffrey Baratheon: Did we need the se*ual assault and murder of the two prostitutes to understand what kind of boy he was. We saw him torture Sansa again and again, killing kids, being a coward…Did we really need to see him torture those women? Some will argue that it was to show us what man he would become but I think we got a pretty good idea of what kind of man he was.

Ramsay Bolton: he was the worst monster you could imagine, he r*ped women (off screen), chase them with his dogs, tortured Theon, skinned people alive for fun. We knew who he was, what he was. The r*pe of Sansa was just to shock the audience, it was no character development, certainly not for Sansa, that girl went through so much already, way too much. That scene was just made to make people talk about the show on social media.

Aegon II Targaryen: we could have for once in the got universe an antagonist major who was not born a monster but become one but the writers may have realized that we would feel too much sympathy for the boy after seeing as a teenager victims of abuse so they decided to kill that sympathy and use the most despicable way to do so. They made him a r’*apist. I remember a producer of the show saying that it would be different in hotd, if someone was r*pe the trauma would be focused on the victims, they would not make a r*pe scene for nothing. It may have been true for Alicent but not for Diana, her trauma will never be addressed and let’s be real if we ever see her again it would be for her death scene. The only thing her agression brings is the scene between Aegon and Alicent and since Alicent is really religious, if Aegon had a consensual sexu*l relationship with another maid or a prostitute the scene would have be the exact same. They wanted us to hate Aegon and the green before the start of the dance. It can also either be seen as excuse of the abuse « see, he was rotten from the start, they were right » or he was beaten up and treated like shit by his family so now he hates women and r*pe them. I’m really angry about Aegon.

Bonus (yeah it’s the kind of post with bonus): we all choose to forgot about it because it was so stupid and unnecessary but Jaime did r*pe Cersei in front of the dead body of their youngest son. But apparently both Cersei and Jaime forgot about it.

I would not make a post about Dany because I really wanted to talk about the way the antagonists of the shows were written and how it was always women who were victims but their trauma was never addressed. most of the time it was useless, or just use as a tool to make us hate a character faster so their work as writers would be easier (don’t have to write a nuanced character) but of course I think about her too, it’s a little different because her trauma was indeed addressed in the show, even if they waited s7 to use the word r*pe. But the way D&D filmed the scenes was to be remembered and once again shock the audience, it was also traumatic for Emilia.

You can write a good antagonist without making him a r*pist, in the fact those 3 characters would still have been great villains without that.

[melodianaartist]

Okay so I am not a fan of monster films. I am squeamish. And that’s why it’s kinda of ironic that BoA is my favourite (anime) movie. But like the dolls aren’t that bad. I mean yeah they are uncanny, stumble and groan, their eyes are hidden so it takes away a bit of humanity and their mouths are specifically animated to look weird, but that’s it. Compare this with the average zombie who, while argueably matching all those criteria, also has physical damage. It’s very much common to see a zombie stumble about with only one leg, or a bashed in head and some are even moldy green.

My point is that the dolls are way more polished and taken care of than the zombies. Every wound they have is stitched up and they are wearing pretty victorian clothing. If they come to a damage it’s mostly a quick and swift death (or if the characters miss their heads it’s not framed in a gorish way.). There are creepy children dolls but they aren’t focused on. And on a narrative level it makes sense.

Firstly, it is a clever nod to Undertaker beeing the mastermind. Because honestly he did go out of his way to make them as pretty as possible. Sure, that’s his job so it probably didn’t tip anyone off, but upon rewatching it makes sense. They all have that matching eyeband because he knew they would be reawakened. (Although that could also just be a funeral thing, but Madam Red didn‘t have it, so I am guessing not). And only this specific Undertaker would probably be so through with his work, so it fits nicely together.

And secondly: The dolls aren‘t as threatning as they could be, because they aren‘t the threat. As someone who likes meta a lot, This is my faveourite thing. Sure, they pose danger to our heroes and provide a sense of urgency, but Ciel and the rest can manage them alright. They aren‘t the true antagonist of the story. The person who created them is. Undertaker, with all his messed up ideologies and manipulation of Ryan is the threat. The dolls are merely the way this is demonstrated. I mean this is pretty obvious by the point where he casually dances with one of them, but I like that the animation/framing also supports that, even before the reveal. It’s just good storytelling IMO. If the dolls were framed as any more of a threat/This hierachy didn‘t exist, the story would become too muddled. We already have Ciel‘s Party, the reapers and argueably Ryan and Undertaker (seperately), who all have different interests/storylines on the boat, prior to the reveal. That is a lot to manage because the audience has to keep track of everything. Their goal to kill the dolls, are the one common ground they all share (besides Undertaker) and that’s essential because even if the audience takes a nap and completely loses track of the individual motivation, they at least know so much. If the dolls were more focused on that would also become muddled. Lastly, this is also what sets Undertaker apart from everyone else, making the reveal way more shocking and focusing on him as the antagonist. If the dolls were anymore threatning, the shock of him creating them and beeing so blaisé about them (ie. dancing) would be more intense but it would feel weird, that the last act just completely casts them aside because of the undertaker fight. After all, there is nothing worse than a suspenseful build up and then nothing happening.

[stories-by-mocho]

Nolan Rhinehart

Note: this is the backstory for my Star Wars RPG character, enjoy!

-

The room reeked of dust and antiseptics. Artificial green light bled through in-betweens of rusted blinds, illuminating the orderly chaos better than any actual lighting inside. Standing in the middle of it was a man called Nolan, his gloved hands encrusted in the very same shade of red that stained the filthy floor. A Twi’lek laid motionless on the improvised operating table, the organs in her abdomen exposed by an expertly cut incision. To the left of her torso was lilac coloured powder thoughtfully packaged in small bags, bathed in a surgical tray full of sanitising liquid.

He paused when he heard a rhythmic knock.

As the makeshift door screeched open Nolan gripped on his scalpel, fresh blood still trickling down the sharpened edges. He was prepared, always prepared, to kill. But he was spared from the task. Nolan relaxed at the sight of his superior, Lieutenant Villius, dressed fully in stormtrooper armour with his helmet rested between his arm and hip.

As he made his way in, the lieutenant was trying really hard to hide his repugnance when he caught a glimpse of a foreign object quite literally stuffed between the Twi’lek’s skin and stomach. He averted his gaze only to find crammed in the far end of the dimly lit room, a person-sized tub filled to the brim with bacta fluid. There was something submerged in it, clearly humanoid. The odour of exposed bacta fluid, which would be about ten times more intense than iodoform, finally made its way to Villius’ nose. He grimaced.

“Why are you giving me that look,” Nolan exclaimed. “This was your idea.”

“I forget it’s always worse in person,” Villius said hoarsely.

“Don’t be a baby,” Nolan jeered monotonously. “If you’re that squeamish you should’ve stayed in the bar.”

Villius just managed to stop himself from starting an argument, remembering why he had to barge into Nolan’s house of horrors in the first place. “How much longer do you need?”

“This one should recover by daybreak, so we’re good to leave in the morning.” Nolan casually folded his arms, not really caring much for his transparent scrub getting smothered with bloodied gloves. “Assuming no complication occurs. In my end or yours.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m still not convinced this plan of yours will follow through, Alnor,” Nolan answered frankly.

“Well, it’s too late to turn back now.” Villius shrugged. “We’ll be fine. Trust me.”

Nolan flashed him a smile. “I’d rather not this time.”

Villius scoffed to shroud how hurt he was by Nolan’s painfully obvious tone of doubt. “Well. I’ll let him know we’re coming.”

He took out a palm-sized communication device as he turned on his heel and left. The false smile on his face soured into a scowl the further away he paced from that room. His heavy footsteps filled the hallway accompanied by grotesque noises of pleasure coming out of the rooms on his sides, shut behind welded scraps of metal so thin Villius could hear every whisper of filth. He hurried out to the bar to be greeted by the sickly aroma of counterfeit booze and used hallucinogens. Anything was better than bacta fluid at this point.

-

The tips of her fingers twitched as her mind spun awkwardly into consciousness. She raised her hand to touch her face, but whatever her palm felt was not her own skin. She knew her eyes were open but all she could see was blackness, except for a dot of green light, dancing miles away from her body. She reached for it, and with her overstretched arm she broke a thin membrane that separated her and the rest of the world. Suddenly, as her senses came back to her all at once, she felt very trapped.

The Twi’lek hoisted herself up with both her hands, splashing the surrounding area with bacta fluid. Panicked, she hastily studied the room, realising that she had no idea where she was. Her limbs were weak but she managed to tear off her breathing apparatus and climb out of the tub, almost slipping in the process. She swore that she had been wearing clothes the last time she recalled. But honestly, she couldn’t remember the last time she was conscious, nor did she know what had happened before she was knocked out. For now she just needed to get the hell out.

Her weak, slippery feet did their best to carry her body to wherever the exit may be. Panic, nausea, and fatigue set in her chest, and her breathing became rapid and heavy. She let out an involuntary whimper as she caught herself on the door handle before she fell on the rough, uneven ground. A small, hopeful smile formed on her lips. Ready to run away and leave this behind, she opened the door.

She gasped. What greeted her was the muzzle of a blaster pistol pointed directly between her eyes. The hallway was filled with noises of vulgarity, but Nolan’s utter silence encouraged the Twi’lek to stay quiet. He calmly, almost clinically, watched as his patient’s smile withered away into terror, droplets of tears seeping from her eyes. He flicked his pistol to the side, gesturing for her to go back in.

There were others like her. About eight other people of various races were loaded on the back of a large carrier, hands and feet bound with unexpectedly elaborate high-tech cuffs. She swallowed, gently fidgeting on the fabric of an orange jumpsuit her captive had told her to put on. Soon she realised everyone in the carrier was wearing what she recognised as Republic attire, for a reason she didn’t understand.

In front of her sat a sickly looking Human. His lips were dry and his eyes, weary, as if he had spent days without sleep. He was hugging his own stomach, shielding it from more harm that may or not be inflicted. Perhaps he had the same series of mysterious stitches on his abdomen as she did. But unlike him, she felt only slight discomfort, like something in her chest didn’t quite fit. She could do nothing else but watch him rock back and forth on his seat, muttering a quiet prayer to the stars, or the Force, or whatever cared enough to listen.

The carrier stopped. There was a clear absence of sound outside; wherever they were was void of any sort of activity. Death was the first and only thing that had come across the passengers’ minds as a stormtrooper entered, blaster pistol exhibited proudly on his utility belt.

“Good morning and congratulations,” Lieutenant Villius started, much too energetic for this time of day. “You’ve all been given an opportunity to repay your large sum of debt to Black Sun.”

His words broke the tension and hopelessness that had plagued the crowd. They muttered to themselves, questioning the authenticity of this man’s promise. But nevertheless a faint light of hope twinkled in everyone’s eyes.

“Now, we are on a tight schedule so I’ll make this quick,” Villius continued. “You are all affiliated to the Rebel Alliance. My associate and I found you setting up a base of operations. We decided to take you in for questioning. It is vital that you play this role until I say otherwise. Questions?”

Everyone looked at each other briefly before a Rodian, dressed similarly to the female Twi’lek, raised his bound hands meekly. “Where are you taking us?”

“Away from this garbage planet,” Villius answered vaguely. “Keep in mind that we will keep you alive until you’ve reached the destination, but other stormtroopers may try to kill you. And if you try anything brave or heroic, it will be the question of whose blaster would reach you first. When you stay in line you stay alive. Understood?”

The combination of delirium, bacta sickness, and this overly enthusiastic stormtrooper jabbering at light speed confused them even further than before. Not knowing how to react, they chose to stay silent.

As stressed as the prisoners were, none of them spent hours operating on nine subjects with a deadline. Nolan tapped his foot restlessly, and stopped when the repeated sound of his boot hitting the metal floor of the vehicle was starting to corrode whatever was left of his patience. After working a few years with Villius, he thought he would eventually get used to his giddiness in the morning.

“We don’t have long until they become septic,” Nolan explained. “Especially that Human. He’s looking worse than I anticipated.”

“It’ll be fine,” Villius reassured, turning the engine on. “We only need them alive until we get to a starship.”

“This is a really, really bad idea,” Nolan said.

“I’m sure you’ll feel better when you see how much we’re getting paid for this,” Villius beamed, his tone somewhat antagonistic. “Drink your tea and relax. It’s all me from this point forward.”

Unsurprisingly, thanks to Villius, they easily managed to move the captives into a ship that would fly them to a Star Destroyer. Of course every trooper he spoke to would trust him. He was quite literally everything his subordinates wanted for a commander; good humoured, understanding, personable, dedicated, patriotic, the list could go on. Despite him knowing that he really was nothing like the facade he constructed, the praises still fed into his ego. 

Villius was not ready to admit that he was scared of this plan falling apart; that Nolan’s reluctance to involve himself in this job was completely justified. He knew the riskiest part was about five minutes away, where neither he nor Nolan could lower their guard for even a second.

Security became much tighter with vital political prisoners on board, but it didn’t stop Nolan from examining the Human kidnapee. His face was much paler than before, his skin drenched in cold sweat. A double check of the other prisoners concluded that Humans were just not built for this specific kind of drug trafficking. He didn’t blame himself, as he was more used to the type of practice that involved harvesting organs rather than stuffing things in-between them.

As xenologically insightful as this experience was, Nolan would rather this Human live for however long as they stayed in the Destroyer. An unexplained death of a sick Rebel would not only panic the paranoid Imperial officers on board, it might also call for an autopsy, which to him would be the absolute worst thing that could spoil this stupid plan.

When the ship landed in the hangar, Villius found the second lieutenant anxiously waiting. Her eyes were focused on him alone, making him wonder if he had a misstep. The captain strutted towards him, greeting him with a look of distress and urgency.

“Lieutenant Corbell,” Villius addressed with a nervous smile.

“There is something I need to discuss with you,” Corbell said, almost cutting him off. “It’s very important.”

“I’m afraid I’ve got my hands full with Rebel affiliates. Whatever it is, I’m sure you can carry on without me,” Villius said purposely in a dismissive manner, hoping that she would be put off.

“Well, that can wait,” Corbell said, taking a glimpse at the line of captives guarded by the same number of troopers. “It’s not like they’re going anywhere.”

“But-”

And without another word, she marched off.

Villius quietly muttered several curses as he strode briskly through the progressively busier hallways, much too exasperated to acknowledge any greetings from his subordinates. With every step he counted how many seconds he could have used to load the prisoners to a starship, and more importantly, how increasingly peeved Nolan must have been from being left to fend for himself. Despite him not commenting on the unexpected change of plans, it really was not hard to tell how agitated he was back in the hangar, even with his helmet on.

The off-white hallway felt more claustrophobic than Nolan remembered. The air was heavy with tension. Everything seemed to fall silent the more they were further away from the busy hangar, tapping of boots and clicks of blaster rifles gently grazing on laminate filling the stillness. Nolan couldn’t help but to sheepishly take a glimpse of the Human behind him, and as if on cue, he began to wobble and brushed shoulders with the stormtrooper next to him.

“Hey!” the trooper yelled, breaking the silence. He jerked the captive against the wall, blaster rifle thrusted upon his chin. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, scum?”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Nolan warned with virtually nothing behind the threat. Under the stern pretence of his standard stormtrooper helmet, Nolan was the opposite of calm. There were so many unwanted things that could happen to this particular captive.

The trooper paused, looking right at him for a few seconds before backing off. The Human faltered to the floor, gasping and exhaling as he began collecting himself. 

Nolan’s initial surge of relief vanished at the sight of the trooper’s boot making violent contact on the prisoner’s chest. Nolan almost shouted, instinctively rushing towards him as he would to an injured soldier on the field.

The war room was grey and miserable, not unlike the rest of the spaces in the Destroyer. Soundproofing installed on the walls only spoke of how paranoid the officers were of information breach. As a result, it became quiet; uncomfortably so. Before Villius could start making conversation, Corbell rushed to the door she forgot to lock. The uncharacteristic lack of any positive emotion on her face was starting to raise concern.

“Okay, Corbell. Now that we’re safe from Rebel spies,” Villius mocked. “What’s going on?”

“Last night one of our scouts recovered this from the side of the road,” Corbell started, taking out a clear bag with what looked like a comm device, destroyed and put back together. Villius, getting less and less patient, watched how delicate and careful she handled the device when she took it out of its sleeve. “The reason why I’m bringing it to your attention, well…”

As she activated it, the vague irritation on Villius’ expression slowly faded. Dal Perhi, vigo of Black Sun, or at least a still image of him appeared in blue holographic light out of the device in the second lieutenant’s palm. Villius’ heart suddenly sank to his stomach, his mind running thousands of miles an hour. It was obviously a burner.

But it was his.

There were eight pairs of terror-stricken eyes glued at the sight of a man, blood oozing out of his nose, mouth opened as he struggled to inhale. The stormtroopers stood apathetically and lost interest immediately after Nolan reached him. As he knelt down to examine the injured man, the closest trooper noticed a growing stain of crimson pooling on the man’s chest. Nolan chose to say nothing, even going as far as acting like it was not abnormal.

“We need this one to survive,” Nolan said, half-lying. “Help me get him in his cell.”

“Should I call the medics for you?” a trooper volunteered.

“It’s fine,” Nolan said, attempting to help the Human stand up. “This shouldn’t be difficult.”

“I’ve called them in,” another trooper chimed kindly. “Don’t work too hard, doc. Remember, we’re all here to help you.”

There was nothing Nolan wanted more than to bite the heads off of these good-natured, thoughtful idiots. The patient was laid on an elevated bit of ground in his cell. Nolan wouldn’t call it a bed, it was made with the same material as the flooring. As he expected, the stitching on the man’s abdomen had unravelled. Easy fix. He would be done in ten minutes, if it weren’t for the unnecessary medics that barged in, instantly crowding the cell.

“I don’t need you here,” Nolan said bluntly. “I can handle this. His stitches just opened, is all.”

“Er, doctor Rhinehart,” the medic shyly called. “I know I’m not as qualified as you but… That man looks like he needs intensive care.”

And here, in the heat of the moment, Nolan realised he had forgotten about the bigger health issue this man had; sepsis.

Villius’ hand rested on the grip of his blaster pistol on his belt, staring attentive and cautiously at the second lieutenant. He could physically feel his facade slowly decaying, his false smile looking disjointed on the mistrustful veil over his expression. 

“You need to destroy that thing, Corbell,” Villius said, struggling to keep his voice down. “It’s too dangerous to keep.”

“I was thinking of sending it over to law enforcement.” Corbell was much too focused on the device to notice the irregularity in the lieutenant’s behaviour. “We may not be able to touch Dal Perhi, but what if this thing has intel on on-going Black Sun activities. If I can find a way to play back some of the calls…”

“No, wait,” Villius cut her off, aggressively grabbing onto her hand as she fiddled with the frail device.

“Hey!” Corbell exclaimed, Villius’ force hindering her from holding on to the device.

A small piece of it chipped away when it dropped the cold, hard floor. The hologram disappeared upon impact but immediately glitched back to view, and unlike previously, the image of the vigo was animated.

“I’ll think about it,” Dal Perhi said coldly, the sound of his voice crackling in static. “After I get my shipment.”

“You will,” a reassuring voice replied. Corbell furrowed her brows at how disturbingly familiar it was. “Give us a couple more days. I guarantee it’ll reach you.”

She turned towards the lieutenant, perplexed. She didn’t realise Villius had pointed his pistol right to her chin.

“You’re already a few days late, Villius,” the vigo continued.

His eyes shifted into a diabolical shade of green, completely distinguishable from the lieutenant she knew. But evidently she knew less about him than she thought. Villius noticed the slight glance Corbell took down towards her belt. Without hesitation, just as she pulled her pistol out, Villius pulled the trigger.

“Vigo. How many smugglers do you know who’s got my day job?”

She laid on the floor, motionless, dead. Villius vented his frustration out on the comm device, stomping it beyond recognition. This time he made sure every bit was disintegrated. He scoffed, mocking himself for not being able to come up with a way to get out of this situation clean. With specks of the second lieutenant’s blood on his white armour and helmet, he made his way through the hallway in search of his companion.

A stretcher passed by with a very sick looking, very familiar Human man dressed in Rebel trooper uniform. Trailing not far behind was exactly the person Villius needed to stop. He grabbed Nolan by the shoulders and pulled him around the corner.

“Alnor, I can explain. He got assaulted and his stitches opened, then--” Nolan began frantically.

“We need to leave,” Villius said gravely.

He paused for a second. “What?”

“Right now,” Villius resumed. “We need to be anywhere else but here.”

-

The Star Destroyer edged further as the starship flew away, and eventually, when the ship entered hyperspace, Nolan could no longer see it. He had to give credit to Villius for thinking of a fail safe, that was what the old ship was called. Fail-Safe. Nolan leaned his back to the co-pilot chair, for the first time in days savouring a moment of tranquility. There was an air of peace coming from Villius despite how frantic his movements were. They’ve escaped, and whatever consequences they were going to face, they would think about later.

“I told you so,” Nolan said quietly, sombrely.

“Yeah,” Villius replied.

[oofichangeit]

My Headcanons for:

Tiffany:

She isn’t one to shy from showing her body-ody-ody(RPDR reference)but of course in front of her kids she dresses down a bit

The woman loves wigs of all lengths and styles

She really doesn’t mind when other horror antagonist hit on her because she knows her husband will take care of it.

She is Chinese. first learning her native tongue, then English

She designs clothing and attends fashion shows every now and then

The girl knows her movie facts.

Of course she loves spending time with her children.

Chucky:

He’s a foodie yet can’t cook for shit.

He trains his kids so they can kill and fight like he did growing up.(Target practice, boxing, different killing techniques, and got them bulletproof vest to test how different bullets feel)

He has insomnia.

He stims a lot, sometimes accidentally waking up the kids and Tiff when hes on his midnight walks around to house, constantly clapping or snapping.

Even though he could take out someone 4x his size without a hassle he can’t stand seeing rodents. Bugs he’s ok with, but rats or mice just kinda make him feel weird.

He’s a very predictable person

Resting bitch face to the max

He’s picked up a bit of Tiffs native language and now knows what words she uses as insults.

He’s more of a cat person. He doesn’t have enough time to go running around with a dog outside.

He and Glenda used watch reality tv shows like ‘Dance Moms’ just to make fun of it but then they genuinely got sucked in. There’s something about middle aged white Karen’s yelling at each other that really does it for them.

Glenda:

She looks more like her dad than her mom

Despite her behavior and whiny voice she isn’t much of a ‘daddy’s girl’

She genuinely likes science

She hates the color green cause she’s always compared to Christmas decorations while wearing green clothes and obviously her giant red hair.

Her hair takes 5 hours just to wash, blow dry, moisturize, and detangle

She’s rambunctious

Glenda either has two settings: Talk your ear off until tomorrow, or lay quietly on her phone

She also has insomnia but that’s only cause she doesn’t take the whole “one more video before bed” thing too seriously

She can’t focus for shit, if she’s listening to a song, scrolling through others and sees a better she clicks on it before the first one is even done.

Seafood makes her sick

Has Heterochromia. (One of her eyes is green. The other is blue)

Glen:

He’s not that big on anime(I only say this because it seems like everyone has the head cannon that he’s obsessed with anime and whatnot and I don’t see him like that)

He does like how beautiful Japan is though

He has a board on the wall in his room marked with places he wants to travel to someday

He’s vegetarian

He likes to change his style a bit everynow and then to express himself

He has every meditation app you can think of on his phone

He, unlike his sister, doesn’t really see that much use for his phone and often goes hours without using it. He could charge his phone fully and by the next three days it would probably be only on 83%

He wants to be an older brother to someone.

He helps his mum with cooking.

His hair is long as hell. About as long as his dads

Speaking of Chucky, if Glen were to dress in his clothes people could easily confuse him for Chucky.

Like his sister, he also has heterochromia(except both of his eyes are blue, just the right one has a mixture of green dots/splotches)

(Obviously, I tried not to add the very obvious shit like that Chucky has anger issues and whatnot and that Glenda is a bit of a brat. So this is just going over their hobbies and small canons I have.)

[pkmnomegaverse]

In that disney movie AU you mentioned earlier, which disney couples would the kids' parents be?

Some of these got a bit AU in their portrayal of these couples, but I based it more on the situation I wanted to see them in. I also only did who I consider the “Main 6 Protagonists” (sorry Nate and Sun/Elio)

Flynn Rider/Eugene: GreenRapunzel: RedThis is mainly due to the fact Green would make an excellent Flynn.  Haughty rogue who’s full of himself and initially irritated at Red, but grows as a person as the two travel together. Red would have long crimson hair (which would turn his canon hair color once it is cut) and is actually “named” Red by the stand-in Gothel due to his hair color.  Thus, Red is the one not going by his birth name, even if it’s unintentional on his part. This also makes it less obvious to the people they meet along their journey that he’s the kidnapped prince.  

Aladdin: EthanJasmine: LanceShouldn’t this be reversed, you say, but hear me out. Lance is the next-in-line heir who often disguises himself and leaves the palace, wanting to see how his people truly live so that one day, he can be a just and effective ruler. Ethan is a street urchin he meets while exploring the city one day, and while Ethan is very much enamored at first sight by Lance, Lance mainly thinks he’s interesting to talk to (since he sees a side of the city Lance will never know).  Lance is subsequently pissed when he thinks Giovanni (stand-in for Jaffar) has Ethan executed despite his direct orders. Events play out similarly to the film (with Lyra as Genie/ultimate wingman) and Lyra is the one to suggest that Ethan wishes to be a prince (since once Ethan tells her his story of how he got there, she’s all “I’m gonna help you get your man!” and Ethan does want to see Lance again, so he goes along with it because why not). Lance is hella suspicious initially, since not only was he told Ethan was killed, but there’s no way the boy he met on the streets was secretly a prince.  He doesn’t throw him out though because he wants to figure out what’s going on. Events ensue, the two grow closer, and eventually they have to put a stop to Giovanni’s plot to take over the kingdom once he steals Lyra’s lamp (there might be a “generous offer” about letting them both be concubines in his harem, since clearly he’s a nice enough guy to let them be together in some capacity). They manage to outsmart Giovanni in the end and they both live happily ever after (with Lyra being set free with Ethan’s final wish, of course).

Huntsmen: BrendanSnow White: WallyYes, it’s a changed endgame couple, but let’s be real, Brendan would be way more involved then just kissing some comatose/dead boy he randomly comes across in the woods. Plus, I like the “Snow White and the Huntsman” movie, so I was taking cues from that film. Brendan is a bit more morally ambiguous in this, being hired by the Queen to dispose of Wally (she claims it’s for the good of the kingdom, him being a threat to stability. Plus, the reward she’s offering is nothing to scoff at). But after tracking down Wally, he can’t kill him because he can tell something is off about what he’s been told (plus his pure pureness is too overwhelming, he just can’t do it).  Brendan helps him the rest of the way through the woods and takes him to a group of dwarfs he sometimes trades with. Brendan returns to the Queen doing the whole “animal heart in a box” trick before returning to his woods. He continues to meet up with Wally, wanting to see how he’s adjusting and the two grow closer as they continue to meet (and do confess their feelings for each other before the Queen shows up to wreck shit).  Once the Queen finds out Wally is still alive, she vows to kill both of them and hatches a similar plot as in the Disney movie, planning to take out Wally first.  Brendan and the dwarfs all fight to protect Wally, but not before Wally foolishly takes a bite from the poisoned apple. They kill the Queen, but realizing they’re too late, mourn Wally’s passing and start setting up a funeral for him. Brendan gives Wally once last goodbye kiss, which wakes him from his presumed death (but was actually just a curse) and while everyone initially freaks out, they’re all overjoyed and live happily ever after.

Tarzan: BarryJane/actually-sorta-Clayton: LucasDoes anyone remember that early Pokemon episode where the dad accidentally drops his kid out of a plane, but instead of the kid dying on impact with the ground, he’s instead raised by Kangaskhan? Since the kid was a pretty obvious reference to Tarzan in that episode, I was thinking of something similar for this AU, so that Barry’s parents aren’t actually dead and there would be the possibility of meeting them again one day (good job dropping your son out of a plane though, Palmer). But instead of a group of Kangaskhan raising him, it would be a group of Infernapes.  Lucas isn’t truly Jane in this, Dawn being the one who’s a researcher on an expedition with Rowan, Lucas being her best friend and the survival expert in the group (so more a non evil version of Clayton).  The two tag team on trying to teach Barry how to speak and behave more “civilly” while Rowan’s in the background all like “this isn’t why we came here,” but does find Barry endearing. Since Lucas isn’t the antagonist in this, trouble comes in the form of a different group of poachers who are after the Infernapes Barry lives with. They manage to stop the poachers, but instead of Lucas remaining behind in the jungle with Barry, Barry leaves the jungle to return with Lucas to his homeland.

Esmeralda: HilbertQuasimodo: NAnother different endgame pairing, but I saw a post once that got me stuck on this idea. Ghetsis as Frollo also works really well, plus since I have bad tastes, I’ve always liked the idea of Ghetsis being creepily into Hilbert. For N, I see it less as him being physically deformed (although he likely walks oddly if we’re going with the idea he’d hunch his back like an animal), but more his issues stem from Ghetsis constantly demeaning him and making him feel inhuman, combined with no social skills. Hilbert would still be a Romani entertainer, but rather than a dancer, he’s more of a storyteller through performance, similar to Clopin in the original film. The events of the story would play out similarly to the film, but rather than falling in love with stand-in Phoebus (who’d be Cheren), Hilbert falls in love with N, ending the film by wanting to explore the world with him, showing him all the things he’s never been able to experience before.  

Hercules: TiernoMeg: CalemThis one is based more on my characterization of Calem being very fitting for Meg. Jaded, cynical, with a flirtatious edge, he thinks very little of Tierno on their first meeting.  It’s only through interacting more with him that he comes to see Tierno genuinely has a good and kind heart and comes to develop feelings for him in turn. Anyone who says Tierno can’t be Hercules can fight me, since not only does he have the heart for it, but it’d be quite easy to add some muscle to his build and you’d get a beefy fighter. Who has a rather dance-battler style of fighting. Featuring Serena as the sarcastic Philoctetes who’s the one to initially suggest the whole “dance battle” technique (as it inexplicably makes Tierno better at dodging attacks) and Lysandre as Hades (who has quite the history with Calem).

[polychroms]

ENTRY   :    A VERY DESCRIPTIVE PROFILE OF YOUR MUSE.     repost   with   the   information   of   your   muse   ,   including   headcanons   ,   etc.   if   you   fail   to   achieve   some   of   the   facts   ,   add   some   other   of   your   own   !

NAME.        julian / jules. AGE.       verse dependent, though i usually think of him in his late 20s-30s. SPECIES.      human. GENDER.     trans man.  ORIENTATION.      he is simply attracted to people, especially anyone that gives him ample attention or takes interest in him. for some of his youth, he was ashamed of his attraction to men and adamantly insisted he was only into girls. as he got more comfortable with his identity, however, he accepted his immense fluidity and understood his sexuality was much more nuanced than categories could define. INTERESTS.      art in all forms (music, visual especially sculpture, writing, film, photography, multi media, dance), biking, rock climbing, world travel, drag performance, human s*xuality (idk if tumblr will censor me smh), the uncertain chaos of life and what control he has over his own path.  PROFESSION.       bartender, retail employee, artist.  BODY TYPE.       slim but not without a soft belly pouch. slightly toned arms and legs from his active pastimes. torso is hairy as all hell and it grows in a very inconsistent pattern. EYES.     greenish blue, like sea water. sometimes a bit grey in muted lighting. he has distichiasis (double sets of eyelashes), so he’s got the elizabeth taylor “am i wearing eyeliner or do i just look like this?” vibe. HAIR.     messy, golden bronze, with a very obvious parabola shaped hairline that arrived more prominently after hrt. like, if the wind blows back his fringe, you’ll see forehead for days. he’s slightly self conscious about this, so don’t mention it.  SKIN.     more on the tan side, as if he’s just spent a day on the beach surfing. freckles on his arms and shoulders. FACE.      squarish, with soft edges and fairly noticeable cheekbones. very thick, long straight brows that enunciate his broad superciliary arch (brow bone, but i hate repeating words). definite cupid’s bow lips, which look a bit plump like he’s just sucked them into the opening of a bottle. has a bit of the unshaven five-o-clock shadow most of the time. he mostly appears like he’s missed a day of showering, but in an artistically-dishevelled way, not a gross way. HEIGHT.        5′10 / 177 cm COMPANIONS.    numerous cats who inhabit and rule his studio loft apartment. he seems to know at least one or two people at every social gathering. ANTAGONISTS.     whoever he accidentally (?) pisses off. COLORS.     forest green, earthy and muted colours. doesn’t like to draw too much attention to himself in the ways of fashion, but might wild out some nights with a fancy coat or something to make people realise he’s putting in effort. i realise this section has nothing to do with clothes but whateverrrr. FRUITS.      he is one. DRINKS.    tea, tea, and more tea. really enjoys kombucha... or anything fermented, really. ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES   ?    long islands, ales & ciders, but cannot stand whiskeys or bourbon. SMOKES   ?     occasionally, but it’s not a crutch. he probably does it to look cool when he’s out with people, or uses it as an excuse to take a break when he’s feeling irritated in a social situation. DRUGS   ?      loves his weed, but tries to stay away from heavier substances because he doesn’t like feeling too out of touch with reality. intense drugs incite mental issues that terrify him a bit. DRIVERS LICENSE   ?    yes, but he probably shouldn’t have one - he’s an aggressive driver. probably why he takes his bike everywhere.

TAGGED BY   :      myself... thank you riley. ur a dear ! 🦌     

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Hypothetical plot outline for “Spider-Man 2: Prom”

(For simplicity sakes, I won’t really mention Infinity War. Let’s just say, this is set after Thanos’ defeat)

Peter Parker is in his junior year of high school and is now an experienced crime-fighter. Unlike Homecoming, he now has solid footing as Spider-Man, such as being able to intimidate bad guys and his web-swinging is far smoother than before. Ned becomes his official “guy in the chair” and even has his own “Spider-Lair” set up.

Which is his bedroom of course.

Also, Michelle joins “Team Spider-Man” when it’s revealed that she knew about Peter’s secret identity from the very beginning. We get a brief recap of scenes from Homecoming, but this time from MJ’s perspective. MJ joins as the “other person on the field” besides Pete. 

Rounding out Team Spider-Man are Aunt May and the newest main character, Gwen Stacy. For MCU Gwen, I had Sophie Turner in mind.

Aunt May is the den mother of the group while Gwen joins as the investigator a.k.a. “the girl in the chair”. Also, Gwen finds out about Peter’s identity early on in the film when Peter gets knocked out during his first fight with the movie’s main antagonist, Kraven the Hunter. While dragging Pete to safety, Gwen accidentally takes his mask off. Gwen decides to keep his secret by joining Team Spider-Man. Her inclusion in the team is not received well by MJ, who believes that Gwen is hiding something.

Also, yeah, there’s a love triangle subplot between Peter, Gwen, and MJ. HOWEVER, I want to emphasize that MJ is the one clearly favored by the movie.

Going back to the main plot, the MCU Kraven the Hunter is revealed as a big game hunter who fled to America in the 1910s after the Tsar fell during the Russian Revolution. The only reason why he is still young and fit is because he feeds off a de-aging serum developed by OsCorp. When OsCorp discontinues the serum, Kraven wages war on the company in order to get either the last sample or the formula in order to find someone to replicate it. Also, he decides to hunt the Spider-Man in order to add his head to his “collection”. 

For Kraven, I had Rory McCann in mind (wow, two GoT actors in a row).

While the fight with Kraven goes on, the high school side of the movie focuses mostly on Peter and MJ’s friendship/budding romance. Continuing off of MJ’s “observant” arc from Homecoming, it’s made obvious from the start of the movie that MJ is crushing hard on Peter. Meanwhile, Peter is a bit lost when it comes to his love life since Liz moved away and he’s still coming to terms with the events of Infinity War. 

That’s mainly where Gwen and MJ come in. Peter bonds with them both, with Gwen intentionally reminding Peter of Liz (the popular girl who everyone likes) and MJ being lowkey jealous. MJ eventually decides to step back, deciding that Peter will never look at her the way he looks at Liz and Gwen (you can just hear the inner angst) since she’s the weird girl with no friends. However, that’s when Peter makes his move. 

Around the same time MJ steps back, Peter decides to pursue her since he’s slowly returning her feelings. While he likes Gwen, Ned and Aunt May helps him realize that MJ’s been there since the start and despite her attitude at times, she’s always been there for him. In my head, his big eureka moment is when MJ gets him a new backpack with a note that says, “Heard you lost your backpack, you dingus”. Something like that. 

The turning point is when Gwen asks Peter to prom. He politely turns her down and runs off to find MJ to ask her instead. Peter asks MJ to prom and she happily accepts. On the night of prom, it’s even revealed she went out of her way and got a gorgeous red dress (another allusion to Mary Jane Watson!) 

Now...here’s where the big plot twists start coming in.

Kraven goes after Norman Osborn in order to find the last remaining vial of de-aging serum. By the way, for MCU Norman Osborn, I had Jeremy Irons in mind.

While holding Norman hostage, Norman’s daughter comes home. It turns out, Gwen Stacy is his daughter. The MCU Gwen Stacy is an amalgamation of Gwen and Harry Osborn (her full name is Gwen Harriet Stacy-Osborn).

Norman is forced to hand over the last of the serum, which Kraven takes. However, he keeps Norman and Gwen hostage since he wants to lure the Spider-Man out (Kraven, at this point in the movie, knows that Gwen is friends with Spider-Man since she saved him earlier). In order to raise the stakes, Kraven goes after the rest of Gwen’s friends, reasoning that if she’s friends with Spider-Man, then surely some of her other friends know him as well.

He pretty much kidnaps the entire academic decathlon team, right on the night of prom. When Peter learns MJ and Ned have been kidnapped, he goes into righteous anger mode and takes off into the night to face Kraven. 

While Peter and Kraven have their fight, MJ, Gwen, Ned, Norman, and the rest of the academic decathlon team manage to escape captivity thanks to Ned’s computer expertise. Before they can escape, Gwen and MJ stay behind to help Peter. Gwen takes matters into her own hands and enters an experimental pod designed to enhance a person’s abilities. She reasons that in order to fight Kraven, she needs to be more powerful than usual. However, what she doesn’t realize is that the machine drives its subjects insane. 

So Gwen emerges as the Green Goblin, but as a hero only for this movie (she’ll be the main villain in the third one). Gwen and MJ head off on the Goblin glider to help Peter. For the final battle, all three of them contribute to Kraven’s defeat. MJ disables the traps and destroys the serum, and Gwen and Peter take Kraven down. Kraven is spared since Peter has a no-killing rule.

Also, he’s spared since we need Kraven for the Sinister Six. 

This is where Gwen’s sanity breaks. Instead of thanking her, Peter rushes off to MJ to make sure she’s alright and we get a kiss. Already disappointed in him because he turned her down for prom, plus some deep-seated father issues and her mind pushed to its limits by the experimental pod, Peter and MJ’s moment pushes Gwen over the edge. But instead of going after them, she goes after her dad. 

(There’s a subplot about Gwen having father issues since Norman is a shitty dad)

There’s a short battle where Peter fights Goblin-Gwen while MJ escorts Norman to safety. Eventually, Gwen takes off into the night when she realizes that she can’t beat Spider-Man and that the authorities are arriving.

With prom ruined, Peter and MJ decide to have their own dance in the remains of the Osborn mansion. The academic decathlon team joins in as well, with Ned dancing with Cindy Moon (that’s the ‘my friends call me MJ’ moment of the movie, when Ned’s date reveals herself as Cindy). However, the dance is cut short once again when the group hears sirens in the distance.

Peter wants to stay but MJ tells him that he needs to go save the day and that they have plenty of time to dance afterwards. Movie ends with MJ saying the famous line, “Go get em, tiger”, and Peter takes off into the night. 

Of course, since this is a Marvel movie...

MID-CREDITS SCENE

Set a few minutes after Peter leaves, a meteorite lands by MJ, Ned, and the rest of the academic decathlon team. The Venom symbiote slowly makes it way into Ned’s backpack. 

POST-CREDITS SCENE

Aaron Davis drops off his nephew, Miles Morales, at his school. For Miles, I had Caleb McLaughlin in mind. 

[turtlesoupstories]

In the Depths of the Sea- Chapter 3

Hi friends, it’s Marlo here! I know you are all probably a tad bit confused as to why the third chapter of a fic is going up on here, but I have made the decision to move In the Depths of the Sea, my Pirate!AU,  over here to Turtle Soup Stories, rather than leaving it on my personal blog. There are a myriad of reasons behind this shift, more than I can list here, but if you would like more information, feel free to message me on my main blog ( @marlosbooknook ).

As always, a massive thank you to my Kilt Kult pals for their constant support and advice, and an extra special thank you to the always lovely @bonnie-wee-swordsman, who actually saved this chapter.

To read the previous chapters, be sure to check my ao3 here!

Thanks and lots of love (as always)

-Marlo

Previously…

In the distance, she saw a dark mass on the shore. A piece of driftwood was not unusual on the tropical coast, but something deep in the pit of her stomach told Claire that there was something more. The invisible tether continued to pull her forward, and she didn’t feel herself break into a run, hiking up her skirts as her feet pounded into the damp sand. Claire stopped in her tracks and stared at the sight before her. A flash of fiery red. A subtle movement. A limp hand.

Jesus H. Christ…. Claire thought as she stared helplessly at the man lying motionless in the surf.

Claire rushed forward, stumbling over the shifting sand before falling to her knees in front of the mysterious figure. He was laying on his back, a thick coating of sand masking his features, save for his russet curls.

That bloody hair may very well have saved his life! Claire thought. Had the crimson spot on the shore not caught her attention, she would never had been able to distinguish the figure in the distance, and identify it as a person. She brushed the damp curls out of his face, but it was nearly impossible to discern any obvious injuries with the mask of sand blanketing his face and exposed skin.

He was breathing, that much Claire was sure of. She could see the rise and fall of his chest through the soaked layers of clothing clinging to his muscular frame. There was no way she could lift him, and she couldn’t send back for help without leaving him to the wrath of the ocean. It was impossible to tell whether he was going to wake up or not, no way of knowing what trauma he had faced at sea before arriving on the Barbados shore. Her repeated attempts at rousing him failed- her shaking, pinching and gentle murmurs of encouragement eliciting no response. With no signs of active life, Claire’s hope was beginning to falter, as the mental images of disastrous accidents danced across her thoughts Was he a sailor? Had he slipped from the riggings and been swept away under the masses of foam, assumed to be dead by his friends and crew? Did he have a family, a wife, children, someone wondering where he was or if he was alive?

“Oh, bloody hell!”

So caught up was she in her examination of the mysterious castaway that she failed to to notice the arrival of the storm, which had been ominously looming in the distance. Only the sharp darts of rain against her skin and the vibrations of the clapping thunder alerted her of its presence. It only hastened the importance of getting her unconscious companion to safety.

“Come on you bastard, why can’t you just wake up?!” Her attempts at restoring consciousness became increasingly more desperate. Urgently she shook him, praying internally that the  jarring motion would restore some semblance of activity to the man’s limp form. His face in between her hands, Claire let out a tirade of every curse she knew, in English and French, any and all expletives she picked up from Uncle Lamb and his consortium of world travelers she knew. Fear made its home in the pit of her stomach as he remained unresponsive.

She stood up, grains of sand cascading off her skirts onto the unconscious man in front of her. Exasperated by her failure and the increasingly antagonistic circumstances, Claire ran a hand through her salt- licked curls as the cool sea breeze caused her to shiver. Below her, her unexpected companion shuddered, and Claire noticed his face pale beneath his sandy armour as a concerning blue tinge seeped into his lips.

A sigh of relief. He was moving, breathing, and it appeared to Claire that he was slowly inching towards life. But the initial joy at his movement was quickly replaced by dread as the reason for his sudden stirring became clear in Claire’s mind.

Jesus, he’ll freeze to death if I don’t do something! Claire realized with a shock. How could she have been so careless? So concerned had she been in her search for superficial, visible ailments, that Claire failed to realize the more pressing and life-threatening chill that was seeping into her patient’s bones. He was soaking wet, and the icy rain and sea breeze were sapping away any of the heat that remained in his body. For the first time since arriving in Bridgetown, Claire was unsure of what to do.  Never in her years in Barbados had she dealt with someone suffering from the cold. She knew of no medicinal herbs and no immediate cure for heat deprivation, other than to get this man to safety and warmth as quickly as she could. In her heart, Claire felt like she had failed in her sole mission. In an existence devoted aiding those in need who had nowhere else to turn, she had never held a life in her hands: a fragile, temporary, fleeting, human life.

She spared a panicked glance in the direction from which she had come in the unlikely hope that Frank had followed her, yet he was nowhere to be seen. The one time the man chooses to mind his own bloody business! She was utterly alone, save for the man clinging to life before her.

She felt something wet lapping at her toes through her stockings, looking down to realize the tide was quickly coming in. A flash of lightning illuminated the roiling sea in the distance. Looming waves towered into the air, creeping steadily closer to the shore. The fear of drowning gripped Claire and rattled her to the core. She had to get out- quickly. But she couldn’t just leave this man to his death; she had to act.

Soaked to the skin from ocean water and rain, Claire secured the arms of the red-haired giant; noticing quickly as she secured hold that his shoulder was dislocated, Claire weighed her options. There was no other way of getting them both to safety. So,  gritting her teeth and sending a mental apology to her companion, she began the arduous process of dragging him back from the surf.

The castaway’s face contorted in pain.

“I’m sorry–really, I am, but I’ll have you know that this isn’t a picnic for me, either…” Claire responded pointedly, as pins and needles sent a painful reminder of the strenuous task before her.

It would be impossible for her to transport him all the way back to her makeshift clinic, but she spied a lone palm tree back against the rocky cliff face. There, they could wait until the storm passed. She tugged, and the man gave a pitiful groan of discomfort, the only sound he had made since his discovery.

“What else would you like me to do?” Claire muttered, heaving with exertion. “It’s not like you can walk your damn self to the doctor. I am the only one here to help you. So you’re just going to have to bloody cooperate!” With each word she tugged, and Claire could see the heavy track of the man’s weight tracing their path. They had made progress, but it wasn’t enough.

Claire’s stomach turned as she remembered the people she had been unable to save, her parents, who vanished into the mist and never came back. The ocean had taken them from her, deprived her of a life with them. But perhaps she was being given another chance with this stranger. And she would not, could not, let him down.

Pull yourself together, Beauchamp. Do it for him.

So she pulled. Her back ached from the strain, and sweat dripped from her brow, mixing with the rain and clouding her vision.

“Come on, you brute. Just a little bit farther.”

By the time they reached the palm, Claire’s arms were numb and her back was screaming in pain. But they had made it. Safely sheltered from the rain under the green fronds, Claire pulled the thin kerchief from around her neck and gently dusted the wet sand off of his face, slowly revealing a sculpted jaw, coated with a layer of soft orange stubble. A strong nose and gently bowed lips followed.

I’ve found myself a bloody Adonis…

It was impossible not to admire the beauty of the man before her. His whole person was sculpted and angular, and Claire could see the taught muscles underneath his damp clothing.  She felt a slight twinge in the pit of her stomach, but it vanished as quickly as it came. An unsure pause followed as Claire gathered herself. She needed to focus on the task at hand. Her own feelings, whatever they were, could not interfere. This man’s life depended on it.

His face clean, Claire assessed his form for any other injury. The dislocated shoulder was a concern, but it wasn’t life-threatening. The onset of hypothermia proved to be her chief concern. She realized that his clothing, saturated with seawater, was keeping the chill to his skin. It was risky, and improper to be sure, but Claire knew that body heat was the surest way to restore warmth into his body.

Propriety be damned!

His shirt was already tattered, she observed as she carefully tried removing it, no doubt torn up from his time in the water. Her fingers fumbled and stumbled on the laces, a mixture of cold and nerves. After a brief struggle, she decided at last to just rip the thin fabric, exposing the toned torso beneath. A thin layer of soft red curls danced across his chest, sneaking downwards over his stomach before vanishing beneath the black waistband of his breeks. Claire could feel a flush creep up the back of her neck at the sight.

I’m a bloody fool… She mentally admonished herself.

She had seen men shirtless before, it was a common sight along the harbor, as sailors went about their business in the tropical heat. But again, she felt herself stir at the sight. Yet despite his outward appearance, and the powerful effect felt by Claire as she gazed upon his half dressed form, something about him radiated youthful innocence. Claire felt a sudden urge to protect him, despite never having spoken a word to him. She couldn’t discern what it was about his man that created such a stark duality within her, but the hard angles of him masked a vulnerability that instinctively made Claire reach out to stroke his cheek.

As she lay her palm upon his face, the faintest hint of a smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, and Claire couldn’t help but grin in turn. The world seemed to freeze. The rain stopped beating above their head and the waves ceased their endless attack against the shore. For one, utterly perfect moment, Claire felt at peace, alone with the man she pulled from the sea.

The moment shattered as the stranger’s eyes shot open.

[ganymedesclock]

Do you think Lotor and his generals will form counterparts to the paladins? Is so, who do you think the comparisons will be?

Hard to say for sure. We don’t know too much about them!

That said, it’s fun to guess to see how potentially off-the-mark we are going forward.

(Disclaimer that I still think Lotor is more of a counterpart to Lance than to Shiro in the Larger Scheme Of Things but he would take the role of pseudo-black paladin in this specific team- as he’s taking the role of the coordinator and Decisive Head- which leaves the other four paladins to the other four generals)

WG: Red

I’d guess she’s one of the arm pilots. So far, she seems to be a kind of first-reactor since she’s the first one we saw. A quick acting, quick-reacting hotshot. She’s shown some technical stripes (rigging the ship to explode) but at this point I’d put her more as a Keith parallel- body language wise she seems the most like him, and it’d fit with her fighting style- athletic, acrobatic, and just a little bit flashy. Half the stunts she pulled in the weblum, while she pulled it off maintaining that stoic air, seemed to have far more flourishes than necessary.

It’d also fit in that she’s already interacted closely with Keith.

Pink Ears: Yellow

By stature alone I’d probably put her down as Hunk’s counterpart mostly because Hunk’s skill set basically requires and hinges on physical bulk and if any of these ladies are gonna be hauling an artillery piece I’d put it to Pinky. That she’s on Lotor’s team at all would suggest that she’s more perceptive and cognitive than a generic “brute” type character, which would also fit close to Hunk who’s actually one of his team’s scientists along with Pidge.

A superficial skim, sure, but there’s not that much we have to go on. So far she has seemed rather stern but also in group shots she tends to stand near the front or edge of the group.

Orange: Blue

So people have joked about WG reminding them of Azula and Lance reminding them of Sokka but the only real ATLA comparison I’ve been able to get behind is Orange does, in fact, give me major Ty Lee vibes and that’s not just her presence as an antagonist or that interesting... tendril? off her head.

Orange seems cheerful and easygoing, but, something strikes me as very canny about her. She’s having a good time and taking things in stride but I would not be surprised if very little actually gets past her. Since her main thing seems to be rolling with what’s going on and enjoying herself, I’d probably put her as Lance’s counterpart- which, considering Lotor in a larger sense strikes me as a Lance counterpart himself, I’d expect he and Orange are thick as thieves. 

In this picture, she’s the closest to him, and the way she’s leaning forward/he’s looking back would almost suggest they’re having fun in a way the rest of the team isn’t quite feeling. (WG in particular is giving Lotor a very Keithish look while Pink seems like she’s either focused on something else ahead of them or just... selectively choosing to not acknowledge this)

Hood: Green

This would presumably leave the hooded general as Pidge’s counterpart which, frankly, fits to me- like Pidge has in the past, Hood operates in tandem with an assistant- her cat. In virtually all group pictures so far, we’ve seen Hood lurking towards the back of the group, suggesting she’s kind of lingering and observing. I would guess that, like Pinky, she’s got a lot more going on internally and that observer role would suggest she’s gathering information.

Especially when the senses and awareness are emphasized for Hood (she’s blind and uses the eyes of her cat), that would further seem to cement the role.

With Hood, we also have the brief shot of her engaging Hunk and Pidge- which she seems to do alone, moving quickly and dancing around Pidge to target Hunk. Seemingly, Hood does not fight with an obvious weapon in hand- which suggests if she does carry arms of some kind, it is probably rather small and discreet, or else she operates without a weapon at all and relies on quick strikes. 

[mistfox]

The Little Dryad

A warm summer’s breeze blew gently through the willows as it reached the neck of the small girl lying below. Her eyes closed deep in thoughtful sleep as her memories danced around her mind in the form of dreams. Light shone down from the ever-present sun that sat high in the sky at this reoccurring time known as noon, a fact as it were, the sun always shines down at noon. The breeze was small and did little to ruffle the little ones short red hair. Instead the neatly kept strands just lay softly against the grass with the rest of her head. Cushioned tightly within that hair sat two small antlers that jutted strait out of her head, they were brown, as antlers were, and made the little dryad very distinguishable from human children. Of course that was not the only difference between a dryad child and a human one; however it is the only physical one. Surely if one were to stick around for a short while after she woke they would notice quite a few interesting separations between Dryad and Human. Then, after a fairly decent amount of invaluable time, the little one opened her eyes. She was awake once more, although nothing changed in response other than the grass she had lay upon returning to its original shape as she rose. With a stretch and a barely audible yaaawwwnnnn the precious being viewed her surroundings. Nothing had changed it particular. The grass was still a dim green, the wolf sized rock that she had regularly sat on when she was younger, okay still sits on, had barely shed a pebble. What was she to do today? One could possibly come up with large list of possible activities; however there was only one thing that the little Dryad had in mind to do that day. She was going to visit the Village. It was a daunting thought really. A Dryad visit a human village? Something like that could end quite in catastrophe. It wasn’t that the humans did not know of Dryads, there were perfectly aware, it’s that they did not have very good relations. Upon closer examination, it is not too difficult to understand why.  A Dryad spends their days in absolute harmony with the nature they were born from. From womb to tomb they are irrefutably connected on an intimate level with the earth itself. This leaves them with quite the large range of abilities that Humans no doubt lust for and would abuse to the fullest greedy extent if they could. Amongst these abilities include a calming effect on animals and animalistic life. This is something a Dryad uses often and this particular one is no exception. There hasn’t been a day where she hasn’t made a playful puppy out of a local dire wolf; it is one of her favorite things to do. Humans, in contrast, are rather dull and uninteresting when compared to other aspects of nature, at least, from a Dryad’s point of view. This is one of the many reasons most of the woodland beings tend to avoid places of Human habitation, although boredom is the least of a Dryad’s concerns when it comes to dwelling next to humanity. Human beings are notorious for being destructive ungodly creatures, constantly hunting the wildlife in excess and mindless cutting down the trees that used to dot the landscape so vibrantly. Although one could argue that it is a necessity that humans do these things in order to survive. However, it is the purposeless excess that makes a Dryad question humanities so called “need” to perpetrate these sins. All it takes is a simple glance in the direction of one of the larger human constructs to see humans covered in fur. Fur. Fur is something that animals use to keep warm during the harsh winter nights the plague the landscape during the frosty season. Humans lack these warm coverings and thus resort to murdering local fauna and tearing off their skin for materials to weave their garments. Once more, one could argue necessity. However, it is when humans purposely hunt specific creatures such as the beaver as means to glorify and “decorate” their worn materials that Dryad’s start to see the death that lies in humanities soul. Pointless massacre for nothing but pleasure and pride is something not seen in nature. This would lead some Dryad’s to see humans as outside of nature, an invading force bent on corrupting and ruining the world. But, that is ahead of what is currently taking place. This Dryad here, this small girl, she knows nothing of humanity. She has only seen the smoke from their fires. She has only heard their cries of celebration during one of their self-proclaimed holidays and she has only dwelled on the thought of what they could possibly be, what kind of creatures they are…she yearns to know. And she is going to find out. Smoke bellowed out from their chimneys as per usual. This is something that she had seen all the time, however it had always been from a distance. Walking into the village felt very odd, so out of place in these woods were the square constructions that these humans had erected. They had stone bases, neatly chiseled down so that they lay flat against the cold soil, whilst the humans placed rugs of woven cotton or furs down upon the top part of the rock so that they did not feel cold when stepping upon it. Accompanying these universally used bases was a wide array of possible formats. Most structures were four room homes with sturdy wooden walls surrounding the edges of the base flooring, blocking any chance of wind disturbing ones rest. There are other types of buildings within the settlement as well, some quite unique. Take for example the Blacksmith, this construction has the stone base as much as anything else, but the wooden walls placed along the edges were coated in a fine gel that negated any chance of the wood igniting into fire. There was also of course the very obvious difference of a patio being present in the front, however this was not for leisure, but for work, as anvils lined up against a large stone furnace that smoldered and churned with controlled heat and flame. Metalworking is something that Dryad’s typically shy away from, although it is one of the least disruptive activities to do involving nature, it is still seen as odd by many of the Dryads. There was another oddly shaped construct sitting in the center of town. This one was longer and wider than the others, its wood elegantly carved with runic scribbling’s that humans use to control the natural forces of magic within the realm. Through shining window panes the little dryad could see books lining neatly kept shelves along an erected wall of rare elder wood. Books were an interesting concept to her, the idea that knowledge could be etched down onto paper fashioned from plant fibers was intriguing to say the least. Dryads have no books, no commonly passed down facts or stories other than a few notable legends they would tell to one another. This is likely due to the fact that Dryads commonly live alone or in a tight nit family group, never a settlement or large home. Finally, there was the large towering spire that sat on the northern edge of the village. This spire reached the tops of the trees and had a small home resting at the bottom of it. The little dryad assumed correctly that this was the Town Hall, a place where the humans would gather for meetings and set up laws. Yet another interesting human concept, Laws. Laws do not exist in Nature, not by human standards at least. There were the Laws of Nature, the natural order of things that could not be accurately explained to an outsider. The way a wolf would stalk the weaker deer of the herd, the method in which a rabbit discerns what plants it should and should not consume. What should be destroyed, and what should stand. This was the way things were, these are facts, and yet… Humans exist outside of Nature. This becomes evident the more the Dryads watched them, and the Little One is no exception. She too could quite easily tell that these beings could not feel the pull of the earth below them, they could not see the soul within a deer’s eyes, they cannot sense when a fern is going to seed, or if it is the springtime when all creatures of maturity should be mating. They could certainly come up with devices and fancy constructs to aid them in predicting the events of nature, a calendar to know the seasons, a thermometer to detect the air, or a clock to know the time. But they cannot feel it. This fact alone is enough to view the humans in an antagonistic light, unnatural, cursed, evil. However, they seemed so…normal. The Little Dryad watched as two young human children danced among the leaves freshly fallen from an uprooted tree. One child was female, she wore a small red dress of cotton and had her short brown hair entangled on the top of her head in a knot. The other was a male, he wore a cotton shirt dyed a shade of brown that matched the wood of the tree he danced by. In sharp contrast, he also wore bright red pants, however these ended up matching the fallen leaves from the downed maple. Her diligence and devoted attention to these younglings did not go unnoticed by their parents, who eyed the Dryad untrustingly. Such racism was not uncommon; Dryad’s are very mysterious creatures after all. They typically stick to the deep forest like glue, rarely venturing out to human settlements. This has led to many rumors, such as ones of kidnapped children or cannibal monstrosities. Of course these are dismissed by those of rational thought, though rational thought amongst Humans is a rather rare trait. It wasn’t long thereafter that a fire started, it was as the Little Dryad was attempting to exit the village which led to her immediate accusel. Any individual who had any basic understanding of Dryad philosophy would have known that the Woodland Beings have an aversion to fire, and would never start one of their own accord. However, as previously stated, Rationality amongst Mankind is all too rare. As a result of this accusation the Little Dryad was forced to flee back into the Forest, but was then immediately perused by those who would rather be satisfied with a petty vengeance then put out the fires currently revenging their homes. The Forest is not kind to intruders. The thorns tore the leggings of the stubborn lynch mob and the nettles stung the exposed arms of those attempting to brush past the low-bearing branches. The Little Dryad was confused and afraid, so the Forest responded to that. No Human would be allowed to pursue this Child into the safety of her own dwellings. As the thorns fell upon the foolish Humans, the nearby Wolves descended even faster. Ravenous in their first for the blood of those who had hunted their lands dry of game, they tore into flesh. Blood for Blood as the cycle of Nature goes, and the Little Dryad, the previously ignorant Little Dryad, learned the valuable lesson to avoid humanity forever.            

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

Addams Family - Common Trigger Warnings

So I recently watched the original 1964 sitcom of “The Addams Family”... and pretty much everything else involving the franchise, and I’m 100% in love with it. However, there are several... rather unfortunate jokes which could be potential triggers/squicks to some people. So below the cut I made a list of trigger warnings for the Addams Family media I’ve seen, so everyone can watch the shows/movies safely.

If you noticed I missed something, or want me to add anything, just message me and I will.

Also note: Spoilers are included in the lists.

General Note:

A lot of Addams Family jokes are based on shock humor, and the violence/gore is depicted in a way that it’s not recommended to the audience; however, a lot of the said “shock humor” can be a little too shocking, which is what this list is for.

So, without further ado...

All Versions

Here’s some general stuff to expect in every adaptation.

Mentions of, references to, and depictions of death, torture and dismemberment, usually presented in a humorous light.

Several references and/or direct mentions of sex, and references to BDSM ranging from vague to obvious. (Usually for Gomez and Morticia)

The Family is often put in what would normally be considered perilous/dangerous/deadly situations. They are usually not bothered by this and often find it great fun. 

Various weapons, poisons, and torture devices are shown and used, to the amusement of the Addamses. (i.e. knives, swords, stocks, beds of nails, cyanide, etc)

NOTE: While there’s lots of violence, there is very rarely anything considered gory.

[Anon Request] Most, if not all, of these have multiple uses of French, mostly by Morticia and Gomez.

The Addams Family (1964-1966) - Season One

The Addams Family Goes to School

Morticia and the Psychiatrist

Fester’s Punctured Romance

Gomez, the Politician

The Addams Family Tree

Fester threatens to shoot someone in the back.

Morticia Joins the Ladies League

Halloween with the Addams Family

Green-Eyed Gomez

Mentions of Suicide and Suicide Attempts

Gomez is afraid Morticia might cheat on him

Misunderstanding: Morticia believes Gomez is cheating on her

The New Neighbors Meet the Addams Family

Fester and Grandmama threaten to ambush (and, implied, kill) the new neighbors

Wednesday Leaves Home

Throughout the episode, Fester positively talks about about both Child and Spousal Physical Abuse

The Addams Family Meets the VIPs

Morticia the Matchmaker

A man is accidentally forced into a romance

Lurch Learns to Dance

Mentions of Suicide

Art and the Addams Family

Suicide references

The Family basically holds a man hostage, not understanding why he’s upset

The Addams Family Meets a Beatnik

The Addams Family Meets the Undercover Man

Gomez and Morticia smoke from a hookah.

Mother Lurch Visits the Addams Family

Uncle Fester’s Illness

The Addams Family Splurges

Suicide Mentions

Cousin Itt Visits the Addams Family

The Addams Family in Court

Several uses of the word “g*psy”

Amnesia in the Addams Family

Thing is Missing

Thing is believed to be held for ransom

Crisis in the Addams Family

Lurch and his Harpsichord

Morticia, the Breadwinner

Suicide Mentions

The Addams Family and the Spaceman

Gomez and Morticia smoke from a hookah

My Son, the Chimp

Morticia’s Favorite Charity

Progress and the Addams Family

Fester threatens to shoot several people in the back

Uncle Fester’s Toupee

Suicide Mentions

Cousin Itt and the Vocational Councelor

Lurch, the Teenage Idol

The Winning of Morticia Addams

Fester plots to have Gomez and Morticia fight, thinking it’s a sign of a healthy relationship. He constantly recommends physical violence.

A man flirts with a married woman (she rejects his advances). She later vaguely flirts with him to try and get him to leave her and her husband alone.

The Addams Family (1964-1966) - Season Two

My Fair Cousin Itt

Morticia’s Romance: Part One

A man is in an arranged marriage he doesn’t want to be in.

Suicide attempt; NOTE: unlike the other episodes with suicide mentions/threats, this one can be easily skipped; simply stop the episode after Gomez has finished talking to Itt and you’ll be fine.

Morticia’s Romance: Part Two

Very brief reference to previous episode’s suicide attempt.

A man is in an arranged marriage he doesn’t want to be in.

Fester threatens to shoot someone in the back.

Morticia Meets Royalty

Gomez, the People’s Choice

Spousal abuse accusation (it’s false, but still very upsetting)

Cousin Itt’s Problem

Halloween - Addams Style

Morticia, the Writer

Morticia, the Sculptress

Morticia works to the point where it affects her health, and only breaks out of it when she realizes she’s been neglecting her family

Gomez, the Reluctant Lover

The entire plot is revolved around a woman thinking a married man is flirting with her; the man’s wife tells him to pretend he’s interested so as not to upset the woman.

Feud in the Addams Family

Threats of divorce.

Gomez, the Cat Burglar

Portrait of Gomez

Morticia’s Dilemma

The plot revolves around an arranged marriage

Misunderstanding: Morticia believes Gomez is cheating on her

Christmas with the Addams Family

Uncle Fester, Tycoon

Morticia and Gomez vs Fester and Grandmama

Fester Goes on a Diet

The Great Treasure Hunt

Ophelia Finds Romance

Pugsley’s Allowance

Happy Birthday, Grandma Frump

Several references to sending an “insane” woman to an asylum (the woman does go to the asylum, but is released, alright at the end)

Gomez and Morticia smoke from a hookah.

Wednesday water-tortures her brother. This is part of a game they’re playing and doesn’t seem to bother him too much.

Morticia the Decorator

Gomez and Morticia smoke from a hookah.

Ophelia Visits Morticia

Suicide mentions; there are several of these, at least one of which is very drawn-out and very upsetting.

Addams Cum Laude

Cat Addams

Lurch’s Little Helper

The Addams Policy

Lurch’s Grand Romance

A woman, under the effects of a love spell, flirts with several different men, two of which are already in a relationship

Ophelia’s Career

Suicide mentions [I think, it’s been a while since I’ve seen the episode]

Halloween with the New Addams Family (1977)

A man flirts constantly with a married woman; she makes little effort to stop him, though she seems very annoyed

A non-African character dresses in African tribal wear and imitates a “witch doctor”

Misunderstanding: Gomez thinks Morticia is cheating on him.

The Addams Family (1991)

A character is shown to have an abusive and manipulative mother figure.

Wednesday and Pugsley constantly torture each other. This is always played for laughs.

Pugsley can be seen tying her to a chair in the background, and is seen hanging her in the family clock at the beginning. 

She later tries to electrocute him, claiming it’s a game called “Is there a god?” She tells her Mother what she’s doing, and her Mother’s only objection is it might cause them to be late. She flips the switch, and smiles as you can hear the electricity sound effects. Pugsley is fine.

Two children play with swords on a stage and spray fake blood onto the stage and into the audience; it’s clearly fake, but could be considered pretty gory.

A married woman falls in love with someone she’s not married to. At the end of the movie, her husband dies and she marries the other person.

A man falls into a deep depression after the betrayal of a family member.

A woman is tortured by a wheel and threatened with red-hot pokers; however, she enjoys this.

Two characters (antagonists) fall from a great height and are buried by the children- Pugsley asks if they’re alive, and Wednesday responds, “Does it matter?”

Addams Family Values (1993)

Wednesday buries a cat alive. This is very brief and played for laughs.

Multiple attempts of infanticide from Wednesday and Pugsley towards their new brother. They do this because Wednesday tells Pugsley that when a new baby is born, one of the other children has to die.

A character is shown to have an abusive relationship with his wife, who wants to murder him for his money.

There is a joke where it’s implied a stripper was baked inside of a cake by accident.

The children are sent to a summer camp which is incredibly ableist and racist, though the movie portrays the camp as in the wrong.

The campers who are not white/abled/good-looking are ostracized. This is encouraged by the counselors.

Suicide visual gag: When they arrive at camp, there is a shot where Wednesday drinks a bottle of poison (which, although usually harmless to an Addams, can be seen as in response to her surroundings), while later Pugsley can briefly be seen attempting to hang himself from a tree behind her.

Suicide Mention; A girl tells Wednesday she would kill herself if one of her family married “the help”

When Wednesday, Pugsley, and their friend Joel won’t comply with the counselors’ wishes, they are “brainwashed” with happy children’s movies. This clearly horrifies them.

The camp puts on a play of the First Thanksgiving which is incredibly racist; all the “good” campers are given the roles of the “kind, thoughtful and cultured” pilgrims, while the outcast campers are made to be “savage” Natives.

This play features several historical inconsistencies and racial stereotypes, and the racist parents of the campers don’t seem to care. (”They’re Indian, enough said.”)

However, at the end of the play, Wednesday breaks character and lists all the horrible things the Europeans did to the Natives, including taking their land and forcing them into reservations. She tells the Pilgrim Campers that she’s going to scalp them and burn their village to the ground.

She follows through on this, leading the Outcasts into a rebellion, in which they set fire to the set, throw children into a lake and shoot arrows at them, and attack the parents in the audience. They do a stereotypical Indian war cry as this happens.

During the rebellion, the counselors are turned on a spit, with several of the Outcast Campers sitting at a table. 

Also during the rebellion, Wednesday has Amanda (the girl who’s picked on her) tied to a stake and doused in gasoline. She then approaches her and lights a match; it cuts away, and at the end you can see her and her parents on a plane. 

A man falls into a depression due to the betrayal of a family member and a child’s illness.

The Family is strapped to electric chairs (unlike the first film, this is seen as a legitimate threat).

Debbie reveals she burned her house down and murdered her parents, as well as all of her former husbands.

She attempts to electrocute the family, but it backfires and she electrocutes herself, dissolving into a pile of ash and credit cards.

It is implied at the end that Wednesday kills her friend Joel; she tells him she doesn’t want romance, then mentions that she would have killed her husband by scaring him to death, and this is followed by a hand shooting out of a grave and grabbing Joel, causing him to scream in terror as Wednesday smiles.

Addams Family Reunion (1998)

Unlike the other adaptations, the Addamses seem to enjoy putting other people in pain and torment.

Several mailmen are shown in peril and implied to die. This is played for laughs.

Wednesday and Pugsley attempt to guillotine themselves so they don’t have to go to a family reunion. This is played for laughs.

The Adams (one “d”) family is mentioned to be poisoning their father in an attempt to get their inheritance.

Fester has a dog that turns into a (badly-done CGI) monster that attacks people and eats hair when he’s called a “good boy”.

A woman is emotionally abusive towards her daughter. By the end of the movie, it’s implied her daughter is still living with her, as the two of them are separated from the Addamses and we don’t see them after that.

A man threatens Gomez with death and attacks him.

Child Services is called after Morticia mentions she let baby Pugsley chew on electrical cords and they’re knowingly leaving the children in a dangerous school environment. 

Gomez and Morticia are accused of Child Abuse, Neglect and Endangerment (they don’t seem bothered by this, which is wildly out of character).

The Child Services Worker believes the children to have gone through trauma after Pugsley crashes a toy school bus and Wednesday draws a gory funeral.

The children go on to torment their Foster Family until their parents come to pick them up.

Fester is given shock treatment, which he enjoys. At the same time, he is in an asylum with insane people.

Later, an antagonist is strapped to the electric chair and tortured by the asylum patients. He is not seen again.

It’s stated at the end that Pugsley left a bomb with the Adamses, and we see an explosion in the distance.

The New Addams Family (1998-1999)

A running gag throughout almost every episode is that Wednesday loves to physically torture her brother, often threatening death. Her parents are aware of and okay with this. 

Pugsley’s consent and degree of enjoyment with these activities varies; sometimes he likes it and misses Wednesday when she isn’t tormenting him, other times this seems to upset him.

Another running gag is Wednesday and Pugsley tend to torment visitors and mailmen, to the point of implied murder. Their family doesn’t seem to mind.

Halloween with the Addams Family

The Addamses are robbed at gunpoint- they think it’s a game and take it as a joke.

Wednesday and Pugsley electrocute two people repeatedly. Later it is implied heavily that they blew up a bully child, and the Police tell Gomez they tried to set fire to a nursing home.

Deadbeat Relatives

Multiple murder attempts on several different people.

A character is undead throughout the entire episode.

Suicide Attempts/Mentions

Misunderstanding: Gomez thinks Morticia is cheating on him.

The Addams Family Goes to School

Cannibalism Joke

Wednesday and Pugsley attempt to murder their teachers

Fester’s Punctured Romance

A woman is put under a love potion, which makes her act flirtatiously to a man; once she snaps out of it, she is clearly horrified.

New Neighbors Meet the Addams Family

Wednesday tells a newly married couple the best way to bury your spouse.

She and Pugsley later capture a visitor and “play” with him. We don’t see him again.

Grandpapa Addams Comes to Visit

Several references to putting someone in an insane asylum.

Several references to arson.

Gomez, the Reluctant Lover

The entire plot is revolved around a woman thinking a married man is flirting with her; the man’s wife tells him to pretend he’s interested so as not to upset the woman.

Morticia the Matchmaker

The Addams Family Tree

Wednesday and Pugsley threaten a “normal” boy multiple times, and later attempt to perform unnecessary brain surgery on him.

Lurch Learns to Dance

Art and the Addams Family

Multiple references to self harm (cutting off ears).

Wednesday holds a man hostage so Gomez thinks he’s teaching her how to paint.

Grandmama constantly flirts with a man who’s clearly uninterested.

Cousin Itt Visits the Addams Family

References to Cheating.

Wednesday Leaves Home

Wednesday ends up in a Juvenile Holding Cell, where she beats up one of the girls and ties her down, about to demonstrate an attack on her.

Thing is Missing

Thing is believed to be held for ransom.

Thing is believed to be murdered. They hold a funeral for him.

Morticia’s Romance: Part One

A man and a woman are in separate arranged marriages they don’t want to be in.

Morticia’s Romance: Part Two

A man and a woman are in separate arranged marriages they don’t want to be in.

A man chokes to death.

Uncle Fester’s Toupee

Morticia’s Dilemma

The plot revolves around an arranged marriage.

Misunderstanding: Morticia thinks Gomez is cheating on her.

The Winning of Morticia Addams

A man flirts with a married woman (she rejects his advances).

My Fair Cousin Itt

Morticia and the Psychiatrist

Pugsley’s Troop is constantly referred to as a Cult.

Wednesday sets fire to the house multiple times.

References to burying someone alive.

Wednesday attempts to murder a young boy.

Shock Therapy references.

A man attempts to call Child Services on the Addamses, and Wednesday and Pugsley respond by attacking him.

Morticia’s Favorite Charity

Fester Goes on a Diet

Morticia Joins the Ladies League

Joke about locking children in a closet.

Morticia the Breadwinner

Melancholia Finds Romance

Crisis in the Addams Family

Christmas with the Addams Family

Green-Eyed Gomez

Misunderstanding: Gomez thinks Morticia is cheating on him.

Misunderstanding: Morticia thinks Gomez is cheating on her.

Amnesia in the Addams Family

Gomez, the Cat Burglar

Misunderstanding: Gomez thinks Morticia might be cheating on him.

Pugsley tells Wednesday to cut off her own tongue. (She doesn’t.) She later shoots him out of a cannon.

Uncle Fester’s Illness

Morticia, the Decorator

Wednesday’s Crush

Morticia, the Sculptress

Thing’s Romance

Gomez, the People’s Choice

Close Encounters of the Addams Kind

Lurch, the Teenage Idol

Fester and Grandmama vs Grandpapa Addams

Fester Joins the Global Mercenaries

Addams Family in Court

My Son, the Chimp

Morticia, the Playright

Saving Private Addams

Horseplay

Lurch’s Grand Romance

Catastrophia’s Career

Cousin Itt’s Problem

Lurch, Man of Leisure

Progress in the Addams Family

The Undercover Man

A man flirts with a married woman. She doesn’t notice.

Fester the Marriage Counselor

Lurch and his Piano

Granny, the Happy Medium

Lurch’s Little Helper

Addams Family Feud

Very stereotypical portrayal of “rednecks”.

Fester, the Tycoon

Lights, Camera, Addams!

The Addams Policy

Fester, World Leader

The Tale of Long John Addams

Keeping Up with the Joneses

Death Visits the Addams Family

The Addams Family Musical

All Versions

Undead characters (ghosts of the Addams Ancestors) are in the majority of the play, and constant references are made to how they died

Several references are made to Wednesday torturing Pugsley and the methods she uses to do it. We also see Wednesday torturing him on a rack. He enjoys this.

Several references to an unhappy marriage

Grandmama shows Pugsley a lot of drugs she has stored up and explains how to administer them to enemies.

Pugsley attempts to drug his sister so she’ll scare away her boyfriend. The drug is accidentally taken by someone else. He is not punished for this.

Wednesday shoots an apple off of her boyfriend Lucas’s head while blindfolded. It is referenced multiple times that she could very well kill him while doing this.

Chicago Version

(I haven’t seen this version, so idk. If anyone has please send me any warnings to write in)

Broadway Version

Several references to bestiality and molestation (in the same context). This is presented as a joke.

Tour Version

Morticia threatens to leave Gomez after she discovers he’s lied to her.

Jokes about chloroforming someone.