#and the fact that she’s probably gonna send me there anyways despite the fact that I told her I didnt like that she was treating me like som

[roipecheur]

While the reverse robins trope does not usually Compel™ me (sorry), I was thinking today about keeping the rest the same but reversing Tim and Steph. To be clear, I think this would be 10x worse for Steph and probably at least slightly worse for Tim.

(Warning: this does get a little Bruce critical. I do like Bruce as a character, but part of me liking him is putting him under a magnifying glass and examining his Bastard tendencies.)

So. If Bruce met Steph/Spoiler first. She'd be about 12/13, same age as Tim. Bruce is mourning Jason, out of his mind with grief, and then he meets this bright, fierce kid who reminds him a little of Jason but quips and laughs in the face of death like he hasn't seen since Dick. Since Steph is doing this to fight Cluemaster (her dad) and doesn't want him to figure out who she is, she's pretending to be a boy. This unintentionally goes a long way in getting Bruce to accept her.

Because Bruce was really fucking sexist in the '90s and '00s. I don't know if this was a deliberate character choice or the sexism of the writers/DC at the time or a mixture of both since Bruce of course would've had a bunch of different writers during that time. You only have to look at the difference in how he extended endless compassion and second chances to Jean-Paul Valley and Bane, two men who attacked him and broke his big no-killing taboo, and how he treated Helena and Steph--like loose canon liabilities despite how they were generally doing the vigilante thing and not getting dead. And, to a lesser extent, how Bruce treated Babs especially during War Games, and how he treated Cass.

In Cass, Bruce really wanted a kindred spirit. He wanted someone who lived and breathed the mission like he did, for Batgirl to be who she was in the way Batman is who Bruce is. Bruce Wayne is the mask, and one it seems at times (Fugitive arc) that he'd happily discard. I've only read a few issues of Cass' Batgirl run, mostly while following Tim's appearances, but I've gathered that Bruce gets into a snit whenever she goes off script and does her own thing. It threatens him.

Back to little 12-13 year old Spoiler, who Bruce at this point thinks is a boy. They team up and defeat Cluemaster, and during the fight, Arthur unmasks Steph and realizes he was about to kill his own daughter, which is what allows Bruce to get the drop on him and send him away. Bruce's assumptions have been rocked a bit, but Steph's dad is now in prison (again) and for plot and convenience reasons, let's say Steph's mom is having drug problems and is about to lose custody to the system. Bruce has always solved his emotional problems by taking in wayward children, so he scoops Steph up.

Alfred, Dick, Babs, Clark, and little Tim Drake watching through his camera lens: "What the fuck."

This prompts Tim to track Dick down, which he was about to do anyway, except instead of "hey I think Batman is going to get himself killed" it's "hey I think Batman is gonna get another kid killed because he's got a new Robin already" and Dick, who is hearing about this for the first time, goes home to yell at Bruce. Meanwhile, Steph and Tim have intense rivalry/tension at first sight. Tim's Robin material and a Real Boy, and Steph accuses him of wanting to be Robin in her place. Tim claims he doesn't want to be Robin (but deep down, he kinda does, and he also thinks he could do a better job).

Also. Bruce is extremely hard on Steph because he subconsciously or semi-consciously needs her to make up for the fact that she's 1) not Dick and 2) the Robin after Jason. Part of it is justified because he doesn't want another kid to die on him, and part of it is Bruce forcing her to choose between normal middle school activities and friends and being Robin. He isolates her in a way he didn't with Dick or Jason in the name of protecting her--definitely doesn't let her go off with the Titans or meet the Justice League or anything like that. Steph, desperate for approval and someone willing to spend the time on her, tries to live up to his expectations while chafing under them.

Fun bonus: Bruce makes Steph hide her blonde hair under a short, black wig on patrol in a call-back to making Jason in the pre-Crisis timeline dye his red hair black. He says it's to help protect her identity (and pretending to be a boy was Steph's idea first), but it almost seems like it lets Bruce forget she isn't a boy when they're out as Batman and Robin.

Bruce also keeps letting Tim hang around. He says it's because Tim knows their secrets and has some useful computer skills, so it's better to keep him where he can see him. Privately, he also thinks Tim pushes Steph to become better and work harder. Steph resents Tim heavily because she sees him as a threat--someone to replace her as Robin if she steps out of line--and their relationship improves once Tim starts working more closely with Babs instead. While Babs wasn't willing to take on Steph's training in her Spoiler days in the pre-Flashpoint timeline, Tim's already good with computers. He can provide support on that front and fill in for her in a way that Steph couldn't, so he finds a niche with Oracle.

When Cass shows up, Bruce pits her and Steph against each other and sets Cass up as an 'example' for Steph. It pisses Steph off because she was here first, and maybe she can't fight like Cass and never will, but she can do stuff like talk to people they need information from and pretend to be a Normal Teenager to blend in when the situation calls for it. Despite that, she tries to be friends with Cass...and it works a little too well for Bruce's liking. Steph does something like take Cass on a girls' night to a skating rink and a movie where they wear dresses and do their hair and nails and makeup, and Bruce is furious because they disappeared and weren't answering comms. He benches only Steph for that, which is shitty to Steph and infantilizing to Cass.

Steph could still get pregnant at 15-16--without meaning to, Bruce set her up very well for that. Living with Bruce and being Robin for a few years in those conditions would make Steph want someone to see her as a girl, as the person she was and wanted to be, and not as how well she could fit the mission. Essentially, an easy target for an older guy who told her all the right things. Bruce is angry with her when he finds out....and tells her that she has to choose between Robin and the baby. Steph chooses to carry the pregnancy to term. This happens to correspond with her mom getting better and wanting custody back, so Steph goes back to her mom's house, and Bruce more or less lets her. (Alfred side-eyes him, but we all know that's all the enabler-in-chief will do.)

It's very easy after that for Tim to step into Robin. Bruce was preparing him for this possibility all along. At this point, Tim just started dating Steph--as in the comics, right before Steph found out she was pregnant--and he wants to at least talk to her about it first. But the call comes in an emergency situation, and Tim goes out in the suit, and Steph finds out via rumors or the news. She's upset with Tim, but he shows up later to apologize, and Steph's starting to realize she should be more angry with Bruce.

Steph carries the pregnancy to term, gives her baby up for adoption, and dusts off her old Spoiler suit because she doesn't think she'll get Robin back and isn't sure she wants it. She fills in for Tim when he's at Brentwood and when his dad finds out he's Robin and makes him quit, but it's never the same, and the mantle is never really hers again. As in the comics...Bruce uses Steph when Tim's not around, and he uses her to try and get Tim back.

I don't like the whole War Games arc and I fuckin hate how it treated Steph, so. Since I'm sitting here spinning yarns, rather than Steph stealing Bruce's plans and starting a citywide gang war in a misguided attempt to impress him, she steals information on everyone who trained Bruce in her quest to Find a Mentor Who Gives a Damn. It's the last straw after Bruce fires her--again--for saving his life. Steph skips town, has adventures and misadventures on her training world tour, and eventually comes back to Gotham and becomes Batgirl after Cass gives it up.

As I said. It's Worse.

[27spoons]

https://www.tumblr.com/27spoons/773801512373780480/what-if-i-said-i-wanted-nat-to-ride-my-strap-while?source=share

Now think about this scenario being high with her😭😭😭 it would be 100x messier, lazier and definitely more intense :( she would be such a whiny, needy mess, babbling about how good it feels and how much she loves you so much<3 Nat who LOVES being complimented and completely melts when you call her a good girl, especially if you do it in that sickeningly sweet voice while you grab her hips to help her keep the rhythm while riding your strap-on and at this point she's not even riding anymore, it's more like she's just grinding herself on your lap and delighting in the way the silicone tip rubs sooo good against her g-spot.

Nat would cum and make a complete mess and would probably fall asleep so quickly afterwards, all curled up and cuddly next to you in bed

I'm sorry I might have gotten a little carried away ;) but I totally understand you and I think about this more often than I should

u did NOT get carried away PLEASEE send me more thoughts like this... me personally when i smoke weed there's a 50/50 chance i end up horny bc of it... so..........

anyways have some writing bc i like this thought very much

but also... i got carried away with this. i was just gonna do headcanons or something butttttttttttttttttttttttt we love smut in this blog

High | Natalie Scatorccio

pairing: natalie scatorccio/gn(afab)!reader

wc: 1420

warnings: porn/what plot, smut (afab!reader), intoxication (marijuana), strap-on referred to as "dick" and "cock", not proofread we die like jackie

"You always look good when you wear that, y'know?" Natalie grins at you, watching your form lay flat on the bed, "Sexy." She giggles to herself, grabbing the joint straight from your lips and placing it between her own, taking a long pull. "And the weed definitely helps." She moves to climb onto the bed, resting one hand on your sternum while she holds the joint in her other. "Open your mouth."

Nat places the joint back between her lips, taking another pull before leaning down and pressing her lips to yours, gently exhaling the smoke into your mouth for the… well, you aren't sure how many times it's happened tonight, but it's happened a lot.

You breathe the smoke back out when she pulls back, and then her lips are on yours, and the joint is discarded. You aren't quite sure what happened to it, but you really don't care. You can always buy new bedsheets if a hole is burnt into them.

Nat's hand slides up from your sternum to gently cup the side of your throat, her hips pressing down slowly against your stomach, almost instinctively. You can feel her warmth, her heat, slowing grinding against you.

When her lips trail down from your mouth to your jaw—then neck, where she bites down on the flesh of your throat more than a few times—your hands rest on her hips and push them back until her bare pussy comes into contact with the piece of silicone rested against your stomach. 

"Mm," Nat hums against the side of your throat, "not even gonna warm me up first?" 

You scoff, one hand moving to grip her thigh, relishing in the feeling of the soft flesh underneath your palm. "We've been smoking all day. You always get so unbelievably wet when you're stoned. I don't even know if we'll need lube."

"Oh, we probably won't." She grins, one of her hands sliding between you, hands wrapping around the shaft of the purple dildo. "But I know you like it when it's extra messy." The breathless giggle that escapes her is downright sinful, and you watch with rapt attention as she rubs the tip through her slick folds. 

You curse under your breath as you watch the wetness begin to collect on the silicone cock, and you swear the way she lines it up with her pussy and slowly teases her entrance with the tip might be one of your favourite sights of all time.

Despite the fact you can't break your eyes from it, you make no move to force her down, letting her explore her own wetness. So, you run your hands up her body, almost in a worshipful manner. You tell her this often, and she calls you stupid every time, but you say it again, "You-you're-you—" You have to take a breath and steady your breathing, already getting worked up just from the imagery you're being provided with. "You-you're—" You force a breath, heart racing as you try to find the words. "Fuck. You're so fucking beautiful."

Nat lets out a low, warm laugh at that, "You're so dumb." But the way her skin flushes at the comment shows you the truth behind her words. 

The blonde moves one of her hands back to rest on your chest, leaning over you slightly as you watch the tip slowly push into her, adjusting around the girth of the strap-on. "Oh, holy fuck." You whisper as your jaw falls slack in pure, unbridled lust. "Holy fuck." You're not very vocal; you never have been, but when it comes to watching Nat slide down on your dick? It's a little hard not to be more than appreciative. 

"Y-yeah?" She lets out a breathy laugh, hips coming to rest fully against yours as the entire length of the toy bottoms out inside of her dripping pussy. "Like the view?"

"You know I do." A hand runs up to cup her chest through that red bra you love so much, thumb running across a hardened nipple through the fabric. "Always look like such a good girl when you take me so well."

The comment causes Nat to twitch her hips unconsciously, her clit grinding deliciously against your pelvis. "Yeah, you like it when I call you a good girl, don't you?" You mumble out, hands on her hips as you start to move them on her behalf, "Well, I like seeing my good girl ride my cock." 

"Oh, fuck yes," Nat murmurs back to you, her eyes falling shut as she slowly begins to move herself up and down the length. 

Now, Nat has never been loud either, but, when she's high? That's a completely different story. Low, breathless sounds spill from her mouth with every undulation of her hips. 

You can't help yourself when you reach onto the nightstand with your free hand, grabbing another joint and placing it between her lips, "The weed's good." A flame sparks to life on the lighter you hold to the tip of the perfectly rolled joint, and Nat takes a few long, slow puffs as she rides you.

"It is good." Nat offers on the exhale of the smoke, taking another long drag before shotgunning the smoke with you once, twice, and a third time before discarding the joint into the empty water bottle that rests on your nightstand. "But this is better."

The weed makes its way to Nat's head, the extra buzz doing wonders on how the strap—you—feel inside of her. These low, breathless moans spill from her mouth as she leans forward, pressing her chest against yours as she continues to rock her hips, urgency slowly increasing with every movement.

When her breathing starts fading into small whimpers, you bend your legs at the knee and press your feet flat on the bed, thrusting up into her.

"Fuck, you're such a good girl." You murmur into her ear, "Always taking my cock so fucking well. Riding me like you need it." You slap her thigh with one hand as you continue to fuck her. "So fucking sexy." A far cry from the flustered stuttering at the beginning, "And the sounds you make? Fuck, baby."

Nat whimpers again, babbling something about how good you feel, her hands pressed into the mattress beside your head, not even bothering to do anything more than grind pathetically down onto your lap, the tip of the toy brushing just perfectly against her g-spot with every roll of her hips.

She's practically drooling against your shoulder at this rate; whimpers and moans are breathed into your skin, every perfect movement causing her pussy to pulse around the silicone in an attempt to draw you in deeper still.

You wrap your arms around her to aid in the effort of holding her where you need her to be to keep hitting that spot that has her seeing white behind her eyelids. 

Her sounds slowly shift into breathless grunts as she gets closer and closer to falling over that edge, but it's not until you whisper, "Such a good girl" into her ear that the dam breaks, and with a strangled, broken cry, she clenches down around your cock and comes.

The movements she makes as you help her ride the waves of her orgasm are lazy and unhurried, but clearly still chasing that pleasure that had her seeing stars and thinking of nothing but you.

Eventually, her movements cease, and it's with a small, displeased whimper that she removes herself from your length and lays down beside you, immediately curling into your chest and seeking the comfort only you seem to provide.

"We should clean up, you know." But you wrap an arm around her shoulders anyway, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Gonna be all sticky if we sleep like this."

Nat hums to herself and rests a hand on your hip as her eyes fall shut, "We can wash up later."

"You're gonna be the one bitching about it, you know."

"Mhm." She makes no move to leave her position on your chest, "And you'll deal with it anyways." She slings a leg over yours, clinging you to a koala would a tree. "Always do."

You roll your eyes but don't dispute the claim, "Whatever. You get clingy when you're high."

"Mhm." Is the last thing she offers before falling asleep, and drool begins to pool almost immediately as she does.

She always did look cute in her sleep.

a/n: i was held at gunpoint to tag @cassioo in this btw AND i got carried away w the word count.

[lastoneout]

Okay, honest question, who is Yotsuba?

OH HO HO ANON I AM ALL TOO HAPPY TO EXPLAIN :3

Yotsuba is a character from the greatest manga ever made, Yotsuba&!(or Yotsuba to! it translates weird, most fans just call it Yotsuba) which is a comedy slice-of-life manga about Yotsuba Koiwai, a five year old girl, and her very strange yet wholesome family and friends!

It's from the same mangaka who gave us Azumanga Daioh, though while that manga is told in a four-panel comic style and doesn't really have much of an overarching plot, Youtsuba is done in a traditional manga style and despite also being very episodic there is a bit of a throughline surrounding Youtsuba getting settled into the neighborhood she just moved to, growing up, and eventually, in the later chapters, getting ready to go to school for the first time. Also, there are storylines that take place over multiple chapters as well! Despite the fact that the manga has been releasing since 2003, the chapters are pretty sporadic and the comic has only really covered about one year of the character's lives, but it never really feels slow or aimless. It feels almost...timeless? I guess. It's really nice.

Anyway, the manga is legit one of the most wholesome, funny, heartwarming things I have ever read. Kiyohiko Azuma is a fucking MASTER of comedy(you may have seen screencaps from a Sailor Moon fan comic he made going around on tumblr in which Jupiter accidentally sends Venus shooting across a pool that made me laugh so hard I cried) and he balances it well with lots of slow moments with GORGEOUS artwork where you can really take in the scenery and all of it is seeped in a wonderful nostalgia for childhood that legit makes me super emotional.

I don't think the manga has ever really taken off in terms of popularity, at least not to the degree that it deserves imo, which is likely in part due to the creator being firm about it never getting an anime adaptation and the sporadic release schedule, but it's far from unknown. There's been an official(I think??) score released and plenty of figurines and merch. It's also birthed a lot of memes, and it def has the same issue as One Piece where if you read it and love it you will turn into a walking billboard and try to drag your friends and family in with you. It's just THAT good!

You may have seen art of or people cosplaying Danbo, a "robot" made of old cardboard boxes that Yotsuba adores (Totally a real robot btw, def doesn't have a middle schooler shoved inside there, that would be silly wdym /s)

And this pose from the back of one of the manga volumes featuring Yotsuba, her father, and their extremely tall friend Jumbo has been redrawn with other characters like 500000 billion times

And you've also probably seen this going around tumblr before (that's Fūka she's my favorite cringe fail daughter I would literally die for her).

Also, I would be doing a disservice if I didn't mention Yanda, who is a friend of Yotsuba's dad and also Yotsuba's nemesis. He's a loser who constantly gets dunked on by a toddler it's fucking hilarious.

But yeah it really is just like, a manga that feels like a hug, or a warm blanket or something, it's so comforting and funny and fantastic, I find myself re-reading it any time life gets to be too hard just bcs it's that good at distracting me and reminding me that live is worth living.

And also given that it's literally my favorite manga, I saved up a bunch of screencaps to use as reaction images after a read one time, and thus now it's my own little joke that if you send me anon hate I'm just gonna send you back a picture of this cutie

Bcs come on how can you be angry when you're looking at this???

Anyway here's some screencaps of the main supporting cast bcs I love all of them so much <3

YOU WILL READ YOTSUBA I AM NO LONGER ASKING

[sickness-stricken]

Analyzing Lily Orchard losing her fucking mind in real time

@lily-is-a-gooner has the post debunking the fact that this event was not staged, but I wanted to go over some of the noteworthy things I think are worth dissecting. Strap in, this one’s probably gonna be long.

Video link for anyone playing along at home:

[3:15] “You’ve got these things causing fucking car crashes, cuz they go off in people’s cars, startle them and cause them to veer into oncoming traffic!”

I’ll need to see a source on that before I believe it. Looking up “car crashes caused by amber alert” only brings up instances of kidnapped children that the amber alerts were for being involved in a car crash. Wouldn’t there be some study showing that reports for car crashes have an uptick within the hour of an EAS alarm being sent out?

[3:26] “AND THEY SEND THEM ALL THE GODDAMN TIME! […] You’re gonna get one of these things once a fucking week!”

No you won’t. Like. That is factually false. Excluding the test that just got sent out this month I get MAYBE one every three months. They are NOT common.

I thought maybe I was the outlier in that I live in Middle-of-nowhere, Alberta so I asked my Ontarian friend if they were more common there (you know, given the larger population) and what do ya know

[3:42] “We had one of these come out when Covid was happening! Like, Stephen, we all knew Covid was deadly, we didn’t need you to blow up everyone’s phones over it!”

I was ready to clown on this given I thought she was referring to Stephen Harper who hasn’t been PM since 2015 but I THINK she’s referring to Stephen McNeil who was the Premier of Nova Scotia in 2020. I don’t personally remember that alert going out (but I also have the memory of an anemic goldfish so that isn’t a high bar to clear) so maybe it was only a NS thing but I would assume for a national state of emergency that would be sent out by the NPAC? So, all parts of Canada? What would that have to do with Premier McNeil?

Don’t take this part super seriously I’m mostly just spitballing, this very well could just be an honest slip up on Lily’s part

[5:52] “I get amber alerts for shit that happens in Yarmouth! That’s a 3 hour drive away from me, the fuck you want me to do?!”

Hey, you know how earlier you said the amber alerts are usually about kids that wander off or are taken by a parent in a CUSTODY DISPUTE? Ya think that parent taking the kid is gonna STICK AROUND? They very well could be in Halifax by the time the alert actually goes out depending on how far the parent is willing to go. I myself jumped provinces to escape an abusive situation, that’s not exactly a long drive in comparison.

[6:36] (I’m gonna paraphrase this but essentially she’s talking about how 911 got swarmed with calls just bitching about the alarm going off in the first place and when they said not to abuse the line Lily calls this hypocrisy)

Lily the alerts are reporting imminent emergencies. If a kid (or really anyone) goes missing and they aren’t found in 48 hours it’s safe to assume they’re GONE. Calling 911 to complain about the alarm waking you up (despite them not being responsible for it) clogs up the lines when an ACTUAL report could be trying to get through. This is not comparable to a province using an emergency line for something that needs immediate attention just because it doesn’t affect you directly.

Feel like it’s also worth noting I’ve never seen anyone who wasn’t a conservative complain about the alerts at night. If it’s really that much of an issue you can turn your phone off at night (which you really should do anyway, it’s better for the battery) and get an alarm clock. If you know this to be an issue for you and the solution is completely within your control it is your responsibility to avoid this specific issue.

[7:46] (paraphrasing again: Lily is accusing people who are okay with the alerts going off at night of being hypocrites because they’ll just click their phones off and go back to sleep)

Again, this reeks of self-centrism and I’m once again unsure if Lily is aware that people who aren’t her exist. Yes, the person who acknowledges night alerts as a good thing may dismiss the notification. However, they acknowledge that people working night shift, such as hospital workers or those working at 24hr drive thrus/gas stations ARE awake and able to keep an eye out for certain descriptors, licence plates etc. This is not a hypocritical stance.

[9:10] “I can’t do anything while [the alarm] is playing. I just have to clap my hands over my ears and wait for it to end.”

…no??? You can literally swipe it away like any other notification and the noise stops. What are you talking about.

[9:30] (Not typing allat: Lily uses Japan as an example of how they use different alarms for different emergencies)

Oh hey look! Lily saying Japan did something good for once!

Gotta love how she picked the one country that doesn’t have an alarm that’s ominous as hell because literally almost every other country has an alarm that is just as if not more shit-in-pants worthy than Canada’s if it was played abruptly and at max volume

Maybe this is just personal opinion but I think it’s a good thing that all emergencies are regarded at the same level here. If we had a different, lessened alarm for when a child goes missing then people could immediately go “cool don’t care” instead of reading it at least once quickly to see what it says.

Alright that’s it for me I didn’t have a closing statement I’m gonna go take a nap… with my phone off

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | one.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.1k

—chapter warning: cussing/mature language, insecurities/overthinking, yunho also has some slight insecurities, seonghwa and sneaky links, hyunjin (skz) and yeonjun (txt) are part of oc's friend/dance group

Seonghwa doesn't really like to text or call you unless it's convenient for him. There are days where you two can engage in a normal conversation, days where Seonghwa will call you to apologize for whatever he did wrong [he normally doesn't know, but he'll do it so you aren't angry anymore], days where Seonghwa will send something that 'made him think of you' and it puts a smile on your face.

So, you do the same.

Except, it's another one of those days or nights where your texts to him go unanswered. Call unanswered. It most likely means one thing and one thing only, but you don't really wanna go there as much as you know you should.

Now, you feel dumb. You feel like you shouldn't have sent him that stupid bunny video or sent him that gameplay clip. He probably read it and tossed it aside as if it were nothing. Or maybe, he just forgot to respond. Cause that happens, right? But if it happens often, should you even cut him that slack anymore?

As you step out of the car with Seungmin, you catch a glimpse of Seonghwa stepping out of his car with another senior— another girl. Her name is Eunji, you think. Or is it Hyeri? You're not sure, you don't have much connection to the seniors besides Seonghwa.

He doesn't even go that far with you on campus.

People know you two have a casual thing going on, but of course, he doesn't go around flaunting it. He doesn't say much about you, doesn't always acknowledge you. And people brush it off because it's Seonghwa.

It's how he is.

That must be how things go with him.

After all, you've agreed to be casual, to be a body— a number to him.

Silly, Y/N.

You should've just gone there; you should've just accepted the fact so this would hurt a little less.

"You have literature, right? In the library?" Seungmin knows what you're focused on, so he tries to divert your attention before you fall too deep in your thoughts. A little too late, but you appreciate Seungmin for always catching on.

"Yeah. Ugh, dread that class so much." You scroll through your phone again, hoping you just missed a text. Nothing.

"Sorry. It'll be over soon." He tries to reassure you. "I'll walk with you."'

"Statistics?" You look up at him and he nods. "Soobin's already there?"

"Hope so. Science building isn't too far from the library." Seungmin does a slight head nod. "Just not sure how he still manages to be late sometimes." You chuckle and shrug.

"Those labs can run late."

"Touché. It shouldn't take him more than 5 minutes to jog over though."

"Cut him some slack."

"Nah." Seungmin clicks his teeth. "That's how we lose the best seats in class. In the back." He sighs. "Anyway, meet you after class? Is Chaery just gonna meet us at the studio later since she doesn't have class?"

"Yeah, think so." You swing the door open to the library and drag yourself up the steps, dread and anxiety settling into the pits of your stomach. Not only did you despise this class, but now, you felt like your thoughts were everywhere. Hopefully, you'll be able to push them aside once your professor steps through the door. You can't afford to get another bad grade on an assignment.

Wishful thinking.

Because you're incredibly distracted, even as class starts— even as Dr. Nelson puts on the remaining few minutes of the movie you started last class. You can't help but think about the situation you've gotten yourself into with Seonghwa, and why you suddenly felt so.. out of place. It felt so unusual, so far out of reach. The only thing you can admit is that you're holding on because of how many months it's been. It may not mean much to him, but to you, time is always precious, always valuable. Sure, you might have been able to hold onto him much longer than his past flings. Sure, he calls you his baby. Sure, he knows how to do you right when you're alone. But, how much longer can you keep making excuses for him?

What exactly are you holding onto at this point? A pile of empty promises that sit on shaky foundation?

You are worth more than that.

Silly, Y/N.

You look up a few times to pay some attention to the movie, doodling on your notebook in between scenes. Luckily, the last 30 minutes of the movie goes by much quicker than you expect. One minute, you're attempting to draw the prettiest building on campus; the next, Dr. Nelson is shutting off the movie before directing his attention back to the class.

"Alright, please take this time to discuss your thoughts on the movie with the person next to you and get started on your review if you'd like. It'll be due next class and I expect to see some detailed reviews with references to at least 3 scenes." Yunho's eyes subtly drift towards you, down to your notebook, then back up to you. He can tell something's bothering you, and if he could take a wild guess, he'd probably assume it's from the other night. This feels difficultly awkward because you're the only person next to him and he has to engage in conversation with you even though it's obvious you're not really up to it.

"So.. what did you think about the movie?" The deep voice next to you pulls you out of your thoughts, causing you to slowly turn your head towards him. The voice belongs to none other than senior, Jeong Yunho, who awkwardly [yet patiently] waits for your answer. You had no idea Yunho had slipped into the seat next to you this entire time— clearly distracted by your mind, your worries. He sits with a curious expression, though it's soft and nothing hostile. Your eyes quickly observe him; he's in this black tee, black cargo joggers, Nike Georgetown dunks and a backwards black hat. You had always thought Jeong Yunho was attractive, but he was incredibly quiet and reserved. Not much of a social butterfly, you suppose. Just didn't like getting close to people and always had his head down in the books. Super smart and at the top of the class. Not a mean bone in his body even though he seemed like he could be mean, intimidating.

He just.. enjoyed his own company.

"I, uh—" You pause. "Thought it was pretty intense." What else can you say? You were only stuck with this literature class because you needed an elective to fill up credits. "What about you?"

"Same. I thought it was more saddening, though. You can definitely tell they tried to incorporate as much of the book in the movie as possible, especially with Elizabeth's emotions. I'd say they did a good job of portraying the repercussions of her actions—" He goes on but he stops when he realizes you're staring at him blankly. "Mm, sorry, yeah that's about it."

"No, no. That's a good observation. I just don't know how to word my thoughts correctly." He nods.

"Understandable." He tears his eyes away from you to begin doodling in his own notebook.

"Sorry, I'm not that great at this. I hope you don't think I tried to discredit your thoughts or make you feel like I wasn't listening." His eyes shoot back up to you as he lets out a small chuckle.

"It's alright. It's not the most interesting topic of literature anyway."

"That review for homework is gonna take me forever." He's back to paying attention to his doodles at this point, but you decide to continue speaking anyway. "Hey, if you're not busy, do you.. think you could take a look at my review before it's due?"

"Me?" He asks just to make sure you were talking to him.

"Yes." You respond softly with a nod. "I mean, again. If you're not busy. I could just really use the support since I haven't done that great with the last assignments. I can't seem to paint the picture Dr. Nelson wants and you seem to have a good perspective that could help me."

"Uh, sure." He shrugs.

"I can just send it to you whenever I finish."

"Sounds good."

"Thanks for your help, Yunho." You say and he pauses doodling. Yunho wasn't even sure you knew his name, so hearing it roll off your tongue caught him by surprise. He wasn't even sure you could put the name to a face since this is the first class he's ever had with you. Yeah, he's a senior and people are bound to know him by now, but that wasn't exactly his expectation either. He just wanted to focus on school and get out of here, build his life and make his mom proud. You— you're pretty well known across campus due to how well you get along with people. It might not be everybody, but Yunho has heard about how nice you are and how endearing you and your friends are.

He's also heard about the other things, but he'd rather not think about all the personal shit people like to pass around about your 'relationship' with Seonghwa. It's not his business and he's not one to meddle.

"You're welcome, Y/N." You give him a small smile and return to your own books.

After discussion ends, the class is dismissed and you're off to the dance studio with your friends before your last class of the day. You gather your things together shortly after Yunho does, walking out of the classroom just to be greeted by the image of Seonghwa laughing and talking with that same girl in his class. You pause in your tracks, making Yunho stop behind you since you were slightly blocking the way to the stairs. You swallow the lump in your throat, feeling your chest tighten with the anxiety bubbling in your stomach yet once again—

"Y/N!" Soobin waves as he and Seungmin walk out of their own classroom next door.

"Hey." You step aside, finally giving Yunho some room to move past you. "Oh, sorry."

"You're good." Yunho says before rushing down the steps. To be honest, he feels a bit bad knowing what he's heard about you two. He caught the way you froze just because Seonghwa was around another girl. He doesn't talk to him, but it doesn't take much for Yunho to know that he's the biggest asshole he has ever come across. He's cool with Seonghwa's bestfriend Mingi, and on occasion, he has brought up the things Seonghwa has done. He's not sure how Seonghwa could work through a whole list of girls, hurting them and dumping them off to the side when he's decided he's finished. Especially you— stringing you along for months, keeping you around like you're special to him when you're clearly not.

You know this, so why don't you leave?

Yunho doesn't understand and won't try to. He just knows you deserve better than Seonghwa. You must have tried so hard to be that girl who could change him. Sad how that worked out for you and the rest of the girls who thought the same.

"What's wrong?" Soobin looks at you, confused. You shake your head and start to lead the way towards the recreation center, head hung low.

"Nothing. Just tired." Soobin and Seungmin shrug as they follow.

"Well, how was class?" Seungmin chimes in.

"We just finished the movie and had a discussion. Definitely not looking forward to the review I have to do for homework. I'm so tired of Dr. Nelson chewing my head off for not being descriptive enough. What more does he want from me? I'm trying." You groan a bit.

"Why don't you just ask him for help, Y/N?"

"No, he's mean."

"Okay, then why don't you ask someone in class to review your stuff before sending it in?"

"I did. I asked Yunho."

"The senior, Jeong Yunho?" Soobin asks. "Random, but okay."

"I didn't even realize he sat next to me in class until he started talking to me during the discussion."

"He's pretty quiet. I'm surprised he even talked to you." Seungmin adds.

"Mm, he kinda had to.” You chuckle a bit. “But, he agreed to look over my review. He was really into the movie we watched. I felt bad. He was trying to explain his thought process and I probably looked so confused and uninterested."

"Ah, no biggie. I'm sure he didn't think of it that way. You'll be fine."

"Hope so." You pout a bit. As the three of you exit, Seonghwa is still lingering around with that girl, Mingi and San. They seem to be having a good time, laughing off to the side of the library entrance and talking loudly. When your eyes meet his, he doesn't do much to acknowledge you, nor do his friends.

Per usual.

Quite frankly, this is how you two are in public, on campus. Mingi and San would never say shit, even if they [somehow] didn't agree with Seonghwa's doings. Seonghwa likes to keep things distant, hidden, so he can make room for the next girls he's after— even if he strings you along.

They let him.

You let him.

It's funny [more dumb than anything] how quick he drains your mood. Soobin and Seungmin are no strangers to this whole thing. Being that they're your bestfriends and roommates, they know everything. They know the triggers. They know how long he's strung you along, they know how he treats you, they know that no matter how much they try to tell you to leave him alone— you won't. And that's what sucks the most. Because they don't ever wanna see you hurt, no. But who are they to tell you what to do and not to do? They can't force you, even if though it's clear this is no good for you.

He is no good for you.

"Y/N, come on. Don't worry about him." Soobin lets out a sigh.

"He's such an asshole, you know? Don't you get tired?" Seungmin chimes in after what he saw this morning, annoyed at how Seonghwa could treat you like an object so easily.

"Min, not now. She still has another class to get to later today."

"I'm just saying."

"No, he's right." You say softly before looking at Seungmin. "You're right. I just.. don't know. It's my own problem, I guess. But yeah, I do get tired."

"Leave him. He's full of shit." Seungmin says. "You know how I feel about it, he doesn't deserve you. That's all."

"Alright, well enough of that." Soobin says, worried that this will keep steer your focus away for the remainder of the day. And to be honest, it'll continue to. But, what can you do? You just haven't had enough courage to step away. It's the fucking hold Seonghwa has on you. It's like every time you think about ending it and walking away for good, he comes back around, whispering sweet nothings to keep you close;

Making you forget about every single thing you had ever thought about.

"The showcase is coming up. We need to finalize the last of our piece so that we can just clean for the remainder of the time until then." Soobin says as a reminder to pull you and Seungmin away from the awfully painful and awkward topic. You and your friends started your own dance group on campus, slowly gaining popularly and invites to perform at certain events on campus after you and your group took it upon yourselves to grab small opportunities to perform around town and at the nearby mall.

It's not a huge dance group, but it was still a good group. It consisted of all your good friends, with Soobin being the captain, making sure all logistics and the timeline of practices/events were followed thoroughly. There weren't any seniors involved, more of you and your junior friends, a handful of sophomores, a sprinkle of a few freshmen, handful of mutual friends outside of school. This is also how Seonghwa found out about you. He saw you and your friends perform last semester's spring showcase, introducing himself with the sweetest compliments.

You're so talented.

Beautiful.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of you.

If only you knew.

♣︎ FLASHBACK

"We fucking did it!" Hyunjin yells. "They're literally screaming so loud for us out there!" He says happily as the show closes out. And you were proud too, so proud that your group was getting that kind of attention tonight. You all worked hard to create a piece that was completely different from before— something more aggressive, more hardcore and intense. Something other than the usual, just to show everybody that you all were capable of doing things differently.

You continue to hug your group mates, taking pictures with each other backstage until you all make your way outside to greet family members and other friends. While looking for your mom and older sister amongst the crowded lobby, someone else came into your view with a soft smile and a sparkle in their big eyes.

Park Seonghwa.

Maybe he was lost and looking for someone else?

You had heard so much about the senior, heard so much about how every single girl tries to grab his attention knowing damn well he doesn't do relationships and messes around. Though, you look at his face and you can understand why— he was so, so fucking beautiful. So attractive, perfectly built and tall. Had plump pink lips and a gorgeous smile with those pearly whites. His soft, black hair framed his face, while he wore iron grey contacts that brought out the shape of his eyes. But even then, you knew better than to get caught up with his antics. You lasted this long without getting wrapped up into his bullshit; you were hoping to continue the streak.

"Hey, Y/N right?" He asks with his hands in his pockets.

"Uh, yeah."

"I'm—"

"Park Seonghwa. I know." You interrupt him and he smirks.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that you did amazing up there. You're so talented, I couldn't keep my eyes off of you."

"Thanks." You give him a soft, shy smile as he continues to stare at you, observing you from head to toe.

"Y/N! Found your mom and sis! Let's go eat!" Soobin calls from behind, gesturing for you to come. You smile at your sister while your mom sits contently in her wheelchair. You turn to Seonghwa, who is surprisingly still standing there.

"I uh, should probably get going. But, thank you again."

"Wait." He tries to stop you. "Do you think I can grab your number? Maybe we can hang out some time, let me tag along during your practice or something?" You nod silently, taking his phone to plug in your number before handing it back to him. He gives your phone a quick call before ending it and tucking the phone back into his pocket. "That's me. Text you later?"

"Sure."

"Have a good rest of your evening, beautiful." You blush as you slowly turn on your heel, biting onto your bottom lip while walking towards your family and Soobin.

"What was that about?" Your older sister and mom tease.

"Nothing, he just wanted to congratulate me, is all."

"Sure, I didn't know that included asking for phone numbers." She giggles. "He's a cutie."

"Yeah, he is." You walk behind your mom and sister, only for Soobin to grab your wrist gently and give you a look.

"Please don't. You know how he is."

"It's harmless, Soob. I promise."

♣︎ END

That afternoon, practice ends well, with Hyunjin and Yeonjun finishing up the choreography for the remainder of the piece that you would perform at the fall showcase. The rest of the weeks would focus on formation, cleaning and making sure everyone was on the same page before the showcase. It ends right before your 6PM class, leaving Soobin, Seungmin and Chaeryeong to linger around outside of the gym before parting ways with you. You slow your pace when your phone starts buzzing, signaling a few texts.

seonghwa: lol cute

seonghwa: sorry baby, just getting to these

seonghwa: come over?

You roll your eyes, though you'd end up seeing him anyway. This definitely had something to do with the way he saw you earlier after your class at the library. Such a silly fucking cycle, isn't it? But, this is your own doing.

you: have class till 8pm, remember?

seonghwa: right, sorry. i can come pick you up after, just wanna see you and spend time with you

you: okay, but please don't be late

seonghwa: ofc not, ill be there

"Hey, do you need me to wait? I know you tagged along with Soobin this morning." Chaery gently squeezes your arm and you shake your head. The boys are waiting ahead with their bags slung over their shoulders, sweat still glistening on their faces even in this unexpectedly cold afternoon.

"No, it's fine." You give her a look and she understands.

"You're seeing him, aren't you?" She asks lowly and you nod. "Okay, well he better fucking pick you up on time. Call me if he doesn't."

"I will. Don't worry." She gives you a reassuring smile.

"Love you, see you later?"

"Make sure they don't burn down the kitchen tonight since they offered to cook." She rolls her eyes.

"More like that'll end up being on me, watch." She gives you a look before your roommates are giving you one last goodbye.

The walk back to campus is rather lonely, with everyone you know already finished with classes for the day. You kick the rocks beneath your feet, tugging onto your jacket sleeves as you slowly take yourself to class. The wind is picking up already, making it known that the evening would be even colder.

You hope Seonghwa arrives at his usual pick up spot in time. Usually he does. Most occasions, he doesn't.

And the latter seems to be the case tonight. There haven't been any texts to indicate that he's on his way or that he's arrived, even as class ends. The wind is heavier now, the cold harsh enough to ache your bones. You didn't dress well for this after practice, nor did you properly know how to since the majority of the day consisted of perfectly warm weather.

This fucking sucks.

You slowly walk towards the spot after class, hoping it could by you some time— maybe [hopefully] Seonghwa would finally text you and tell you he was on his way. Yet, even as you get to the back of the recreation center, you still receive absolutely nothing. You sit at the bus stop behind the center and near the tennis courts, knowing Seonghwa usually comes to pick you up on this street since no one likes to park at the farthest back-end lot of the campus. The recreation center itself was already far away from the main campus buildings, so people didn't like taking that extra walk.

"Fuck, it's cold." You mutter to yourself as you dig your hands into your zip-up as much as possible, hoping to shield your hands from the cold. Your nose is starting to feel numb as you sniff away, checking both ends of the street for any sign of a car approaching.

chaery: he better have picked you up already or else i'm on my way, y/n

You sigh heavily at the text and respond.

you: yeah, i'm with him, it's fine.

chaeryeong: don't lie to me!

you: seriously. all good, babe. love you, see you later.

Meanwhile, as Yunho starts to cross the bridge to head into the back-end parking lot of the recreation center, he spots someone sitting at the nearby bus stop in the cold. He continues to tread slowly, head still fixated on your figure as he tries to get a better look at—

You.

Its you.

Yunho doesn't realize until he gets to his car, lazily tossing his bag into his trunk. He knows it's you, even from afar. He's seen you sit in that same seat before, waiting for that punkass to pick you up. Unbelievable. Although you haven't talked much to each other, Yunho feels like he should at least ask if you're okay. Especially with the way you sweetly apologized to him in class [though he didn't particularly take offense to anything]. Before he could decide, his feet are already taking him over to the bus stop.

It's freezing, why the fuck were you out here waiting for Seonghwa?

Was he late?

Just as he reaches halfway across the lot, he pauses. A car pulls up to the side and you immediately stand to toss your bag in the back seat and climb into the passenger's. When you swing the passenger door open, he catches a quick glimpse of Seonghwa in a hoodie, watching as you climb in. Yunho must look pretty dumb, but he's still at a relatively good distance for you to even notice.

That goddamn prick can't even take a moment to open your door even after being late.

It's what he could do, at the very fucking least.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine​ @soupbinlily​ @tyongff-ff​ @jiminiscricket​ @g1g1l​ @staytinyinmybpack​ @woomyteez @gfksz​ @bitchwhytho​ @savluvsmingi​ @thisisntmyrightera​ @hyukssunflower​ @miriamxsworld​ @tmtxtf​ @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead​ @carrietwrites​ @tournesol155​ @persphonesorchid​ [bold = couldn’t tag!]

[lyss-sketchbox]

Have you played through Natlan a little bit yet? Because I love it except for one thing. Does the Archon quest feel...off to you? At least the first act. Specifically the character introductions and character acting?

Funny thing actually i JUST finished it last night!

Well uh spoilers ahead

I think its... alright-ish? Act 1 basically sets you up with the basics, the characters, the culture, the traditions, and lore so we know whats up. Cool. We are literally being fed information because we are tourists and i can excuse that.

Idk how to feel about traveller and paimon literally going 'ah look, an opportunity has arised, its time to do our thing and help with this major event'. I mean yes thats how its always been but mentioning it doesnt... help... it just points out a flaw.

The characters are fine enough imo. I really expected Mualani to have this super hyper attitude and squeaky voice we usually get from an 'everyone loves me' character but shes suprisingly mellow and i appreciate that alot. (May change with Citlali though and im not looking forward to it)

I do not like how it is very Tell not Show. Because you know what keeps being shown? The fact that Kachina is A CHILD. Maybe she's not an actual child who knows but hyv is clearly infantilizing her. Case in point:

The chief of the tribe literally asked you for ID because you are strangers hanging out around her. He literally said 'a good feeling isnt gonna be enough for your parents to trust these people'

After the chief knew who the traveller is, he said he could trust Kachina to go to the Stadium to sign up and not get into trouble. She HAS to participate because she has an Ancient Name and you can barely trust her to go to the stadium???

Kachina mentioning how she can't keep excusing her age for being a bad warrior. So she KNOWS shes young and either she or other people in the past has excused her for her performance because of her age.

The genuine actual side by side of her first match up. You know a child vs a massive buff man. Maybe it's just me but her kit is clearly not made to DPS and hyv making us fight these opponents with only her kinda makes it feel so much like a drag.

Everyone around her keeps saying oh shes actually really good, she almost made it last time, shes super powerful just lacking confidence. Well we dont really... see it. When the tournament started and we play as mualani and kachina all i can think about it 'yeah mualani is gonna do all the fighting here' and it adds to the idea that kachina literally did the bare minimum. But then suddenly we get a really cool cutscene of her defeating a 3 times winning veteran. It is not believable to me.

Also now that she's won we are literally sending her off to fight the abyss where she has a REAL CHANCE OF DYING but we gotta be ok with it because she can get resurrected? Are we not supposed to be concerned that we are sending a child to war with a real chance of her dying?

It is such a tonal shock and the traveller or paimon barely says anything about it so WE are supposed to be fine with it too? It probably is culture shock but like... SOME people still sees Clorinde as a killer despite doing her job as a duelist, how do you think those people will think seeing THIS tradition.

As for the bit where we go with mualani while we wait for kachina to come back from war, it was... alright i think. But the manufactured 'chillness' is there, like you can tell theyre trying their hardest to potray this tribe as the chill surfers one. Its also obvious they want us to like Atea. While she looks a lil overbearing i appreciate that they were being subtle about her 'my life isnt gonna last long so i am doing this dangerous task', they had to explain it anyway for mualani but i think them not stating out right at first that 'woah you werent going here because you can use the hotsprings again!' is a good choice, that is a good show not tell i think.

For now though the entire thing simply feels off because i feel like there's no stake at all for us. If kachina loses? Then she doesn't get sent to the war, thats kind of a good thing seeing how she did ended up 'dying'. We've met the archon but for some reason hasn't asked about our siblings or anything and the only reason we are staying is because its the right thing to do. Thats it. I think it's just... alot offered to us but none with actual value to the traveller personally.

While you can argue that fontaine is exactly like that, that we only stayed to help lyney with his trial and everything else because its the right thing to do. Lyney is fatui. Neuvillette is a dragon. And furina is an absent archon. Theres an air of mystery around how fontaine works and these people have MASSIVE connections. You almost want to stay to see how it'll turn up, what information will show up.

Natlan on the other hand revealed basically everything to us in the first 2 acts. Natlan gets abyss attacks because they dont have strong leyline connections. The fatui wants the gnosis and literally will just fight the archon for it. The archon is chill and kind and is the reincarnation of the original archon because we were told that. The facking traitor from night-wind is obviously the Ororon guy lmao. So what IS left to speculate? To look out for?

Like wow she's gonna carve us an Ancient Name? Why lmao. What for? We can purify the abyss we are not dying in the Night Kingdom.

Shrugs idk feel free to fight me on this. I am just a lil jaded because i literally cannot take the archon seriously when shes literally just called 'Archon' with no special title or anything

[voidingintotheshout]

I picked up a little old lady from the casino (I’m a rideshare driver). When we were three minutes away from her house, she mentioned that she was a Trump supporter and asked if I was. I told her that I was not a Trump supporter, because (among other reasons) I have a lot of gay and trans friends and if he wants hurt my friends personally or politically, I’m not gonna have anything to do with him. She said that she also has a lot of “gay – and other friends“ that she doesn’t support trump on LGBT rights despite throwing her support in his direction, but she supports him and in his views on immigration. She is the granddaughter of immigrants that came to America before there was any such thing as green cards or illegal immigration. The irony seems to be lost on her that if Trump was running the country when her grandparents came over from Italy, they probably would not have been allowed in because Italians at that time were considered racially undesirable. My ancestors would not have been allowed to come over from Ireland for the same reason right around the same time. American exceptionalism truly is a cancer that makes every American think that their ancestors were definitely one of the good ones. Whether it’s about race or slavery or immigration, or whatever. White people amongst many other groups in America will have a racist grandparent and will still think that that grandparent would’ve supported civil rights, even though they know they would not have. Anyway, I told her that one of my big concerns about Trump and immigration is that he and his supporters don’t seem to really care what happens to the immigrants once ice gets them. Like if they’re from Guatemala and they just got sent back to Guatemala, that’s one thing but America is building a detention facility with occupancy for at least 30,000 people in Guantánamo Bay to send immigrants there and I told her that I don’t think anyone should ever go to Guantánamo Bay. I didn’t mention the fact that, since a lot of states consider illegally crossing the border to be a crime and thus, any immigrant who tries to get into America and is caught, can be considered a criminal and potentially can go to jail — that I was concerned that this wave of anti-immigration legislation is probably just a way to turn immigrants into slaves by forcing them to work for nothing as prisoners. It’s a good thing that I didn’t bother to bring this up because she made a point of mentioning that “a lot“ of these immigrants are criminals… or worse.

Why am I telling you this? I don’t know. It just made me depressed and I needed to vent.

[thotsforvillainrights]

Could I have a smut scenario where reader’s colleague Skeptic is assigned to teach her coding (probably by Trumpet because he knows reader likes Skep), and during their sessions, reader is a tease but Skeptic does his best to resist but eventually gives into her temptations-

[COULD I?????? Yes...yes I could/and gladly will! Hope you don't mind as usual I try to leave the reader open so everyone can insert themselves into this. Also I'm not sure where Trumpet works himself in but this is fanfic so I'm gonna make sure he's in there one way or another!]

~Informative~

-Tomoyasu Chikazoku Smut-

Informative-providing useful or interesting information.

His mind worked a million miles an hour as he'd just finished up some leftover work from Feel Good when suddenly there was a dim knock on the door of his private space at Detnerat. He thinks nothing of it as he finishes saving his work and directs on of his puppets to answer for him. He was expecting anything but the sound of a shriek. He sighs, knowing that all to familiar voice at the doorway. When he turns his desk chair slightly he sees you standing there, gripping your chest and letting out a sigh. "Tomoyasu, you don't have any other real use for these things besides servitude???" You speak, moving past the creepy thing and making your way into the office. He rolls his eyes at your words and crosses his arms while still seated. "They're quite helpful if you ask me. Certainly more meaningful to the cause than you could ever hope to be. Now what do you want? I don't suppose you've come in here to prattle about and waste my time again, have you?" He quips at you. "I'll have you know, I'm plenty useful to the cause, handsome." You wink at him and he shudders in disgust. "What do you want..." He reiterates, trying to quickly change the subject.

You're always teasing him like this...

"I was sent in here with the task of having you become my teacher for the next few weeks." You speak proudly and he squints in suspicion. Was this another one of your ploys to bother him rather than let him work? How disgraceful he hasn't worked up the proper gall to drive you away from him yet. Or perhaps he didn't truly want to do so. He silently denies any feelings come budding up again. "Teacher? For what exactly? You couldn't be taught by me and learn, much less by anyone else. You couldn't pour water out of a boot even if the instructions were written on the side of it." He smirks at your look of shock. You place a hand over your chest and pretend to be offended, your tone dripping with sarcasm. "Oh my, that was just so very rude of you. Whatever am I to do? My heart is broken! Pshhh yeah right...and anyway, you better believe me. I'm telling you the truth. I was told it would be good to pick up on this other skill set because not only would it strengthen our defenses tech wise but it'd also give you some time to recharge when you needed a step-in."

"Step in? A step in? Rest assured there's no one on this planet that could 'step in' for me. I'm the best at what I do and I don't need some pathetic underling to-"

"Call and see then, since you don't believe me." You cut him off, placing your phone in his hand. He stares up at you and glares before opening your videocall app and seeing the last person you'd conversed with. "Trumpet..." He pressed the call button and grits his teeth when the politician's face comes up on screen. "Is this yet another prank of yours then? Where's the grand commander? Let me speak with him immediately." Despite Skeptic's angry disposition, Hanabata seems unbothered. He in fact ends up smiling instead. A rather mischievous one at that..."Grand Commander is home sick with the flu. He asked me to send Y/N in so she/he/they could learn to code from you. He did this personally of me so I wouldn't dare end up calling him to argue or go against his word...unless of course you don't seem to agree with him and his vision?" Trumpet smirked when he knew he had Skeptic's arm tied up in a metaphorical knot. What Skeptic didn't know was that ReDestro didn't specifically ask for his help. He'd originally asked for Skeptic to find someone at Feel Good that could assist with this. However, Trumpet knew you two were fairly engrossed with each other (despite the way you seemed to be at each other's throats half the time) and he knew the best course of action to push you together would be a little white lie.

Tomoyasu hung up the phone and slammed it on the desk next to him before turning back to the monitor screen. He sighs in annoyance and points at the chair next to him. "Sit down before I change my mind." You happily smile and take a seat next to him. He directs his puppet (still standing by the doorway) to shut the door and remain facing the wall there. At least he was considerate of your discomfort around them...

The entire first half of the hour was less like an informative lesson and more like him degrading you for the most simple of mistakes. The harder he was on you, the more mistakes you made. The more mistakes meant the harder he was going to be, thus only making you again mess up more. It was a difficult cycle you couldn't seems to get over. The next part of the hour he decided to get into a long lecture about the technique of coding and blah blah blah...Your mind drifted away. You find your eyes settling once more on his lips and down his clothed chest to his lap. This was not a first time occurrence when it came to you. You were attracted to him yes, but anytime you tried to honestly confess to him it all came out as teasing. You'd never known he'd felt the same way, would you? Or course not with the way his attraction came out as aggression and annoyance. Being in the same confined area as you for this long was making his mouth dry. He was trying to control his thoughts as best he could manage. He kept his eyes glued to the screen as he spoke to you but his mind was certainly elsewhere. He'd damned himself about 28 times a week for falling for someone like you. He'd damned himself 28 times more for touching himself in the shower at the thought of you last night. He was slowly losing his mind. You were the cause of it.

"If you're not going to pay attention then I'm not going to waste my time trying to teach you the basics. It's not like you've managed to make a lick of progress so far anyway..." He grumbles and you smirk at him. "Oh? Because I thought I did pretty good with that whole script thing earlier. I saw you smile when I got it right...that one little thing." You reach over and poke his side. He growls and huffs at you, poking back much harsher and causing you a bit of light pain. "Don't flatter yourself. That was the ONLY thing you could do right. I doubt you could even remember how to write your own name half the time." He laughs at his own mean joke. You smile mischievously and poke him back. He takes it as a challenge and returns the favor. To anyone else watching, you two would look like two toddlers fighting each other. Soon it got to the point where you got so rowdy with him that you stood up to run away and he followed. You didn't make it far as you tripped over one of the lose wires on the ground and he quickly caught you. It didn't register just how close you were to each other's face until you opened your eyes and looked at him. He was at an angle over you that you could see his greyed eyes beneath the long choppy black bangs covering them. His mind had gone blank for a bit as he stared back at you. He silently cursed himself for leaning in even closer. Couldn't seem to deny his own body when your lips reached each other. When you both pulled away from the kiss, he was trying to quietly catch his breath back. Of course you needed to say something stupid to ruin the moment.

"If this is the kind of lesson you give on coding, please by all means sign me up for the next few weeks!" You smirk at him and he scoffs. "Shut up."

"Make me..."

Oh there is was. There was the exact moment he decided to stop running and start chasing. There's much you could've said about the situation yourself but it would seem your words are caught in your throat when he has you bent over the desk with his fingers stuffed in your mouth to silence your moans. "I've grown tired of your constant teasing me. Perhaps I should've taught you long ago not to mess with me hmm? Oh why aren't you replying? Say something or I'll just have to fuck you harder." He's messing with you now. He knows you can't speak like this. Even if you could, it would all come out a jumbled mess anyway. He uses his free hand to grip at the back of your neck while he thrusts into you. Eventually he removes his other hand from your mouth and pulls himself out, replacing his cock with your hand and using your own saliva as lubrication. Without much warning, he forcefully shoves himself back inside. You gasp and quickly bite down on your own forearm to keep yourself quiet. Although you've both lost yourselves to pleasure, you're still aware enough to know the risks of getting caught having sex at Detnerat with each other and the embarrassment that'll come with it.

While you try to desperately contain your own moans, he resorts to covering his own mouth now. He can feel himself getting closer and you tightening yourself around him was only making it more intense by the minute. "Fuck~ Why don't you cum for me hmm? C'mon, I'm only doing you a favor by allowing you to finish on my cock. Hurry before I change my mind." He leans down to nip at your shoulder while slowing his thrust to a rougher and more direct pace. You feel yourself coming undone whether you were ready or not. You couldn't draw this out any longer if you'd wanted to as you finish right there for him. Your muffled moan into your own arm and the way you feel around him was just enough he needed for himself. He instead bites down roughly into your shoulder and groans as he finishes as well. When he pulls away he glances at the mouth/teeth marks he'd left on the skin there. The awkward silence of getting dressed next to you and praying no one heard you would've almost been enough for him to want to die had you not said those magic words he only heard you say in his dreams before this...

"So, you uh...wanna come back to my place later and watch a movie?"

For the first time in a long time he'd actually given you a genuine and non-sarcastic smile before he replied. "Yeah sure."

[silverspleen]

Still gently bewildered by Hadir's motivations, like, obviously not when it comes to main plot beats, I totally understand his motivations with the lengths he'll go to to ensure his goals are met, but why specifically did he encourage Alex to be in the position he's in with Farah. He is so chummy with him!

I mean besides the fact that Alex + Gaz are the two MW19 PCs so like, they are legally obligated to be actively involved in the narrative to draw in the player and keep them informed via the avatar of two very pretty military boys, and the players needs to be in a position where Hadir "Alex we're brothers now" Karim betrays you to be like "GASP but we're bros."

But Hadir, sir, that man's job is not just "killing russians" it's also destabilizing small countries for the united states government it is only by the grace of him being a MASSIVE SIMP for your sister and her iron fucking will that he's stuck around for as long as he has. Hadir wasn't even there for Alex being like "lol I'm defecting" when Laswell tried to pull him out. He was gone! The betrayal had happened! Dude you were there for the "I don't decide where I go they just send me" rooftop conversation, Alex is a third party with very ulterior motives why are you playing so niceys with him!

This man's entire job is to be here on behalf of the us government hunting down chemical weapons and you, the man who has stolen the chemical weapons with plans to actively use them against your very bullheaded sister's wishes are like, making cute lil' guns for him and your sister like :) "Alex pls tell my sister when I betray her to not freak out and try to murder me, Alex do u promise? promise to explain?" like, dude this man's entire job in your country was to hunt you down???

"Alex why did you bring her here?" (Wolf's Den) Man, first of all you clearly know Farah is going to do what she wants and it should be obvious by this point that Alex will 100% support her. Second of all this is literally his mission.

Third of all you have known this man for exactly

(checks wiki)

THREE DAYS

anyway

I'm assuming it all has to logically come back to Farah and the fact that he's her older brother. Obviously culturally I'm not sure how the older+younger sibling dynamic goes when you spend your childhood in russian prison camp and your baby sister is your CO but like, he clearly still loves her so much despite their ideological differences. And it really seems like ideological differences are not a huge deal for him. There's the fact that later he is very much convinced (correctly) that Price will help him destroy the gas factory completely based on their shared history and relationship with Farah, so like, emotions are really driving his actions. He knew Farah would hate him and he wouldn't be able to be there for her and idk he's projecting something onto Alex a little methinks. Alex is helpful for like... three days and Hadir's brain gets to thinking. Probably reading into it too much but that's what I'm gonna stick to as some kind of character analysis.

It's all means to an end but idk it feels weirdly naive of him to be so lackadaisical with alliances??? which is both charming and deeply tragic in it's own right. Like, it worked out, it was a good idea to get Alex so involved considering I'm vaguely aware that by MW3 he is still Farah's second, but like, idk dude were there not any nice ULF guys you could have gotten to replace you when you defected to the faction Farah fucking hates???? No??? This fuckin'... All American CIA guy you've known for three days is your brother now and who you're going to entrust your sister to? ok then

[chaoslinych]

come, let's sing the sailor song!!!!

yay another art plan is done (hoping to not lose all the other ones in my head)

at first i just wanted to make a post with only Zeefarer, and specifically tell a story about why a version of her as a sequencer is even scarier than ONE OF THE SCARIEST canon variants, and how did we even come to this

but another idea with this suddenly happened, and i love it so much too (i've had an idea of making references for fl/ss characters like i did for Kys, and i think that's when i'm gonna explain everything, THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT OF TEXT, AGAIN)

actually it's a silly trend that i've of course MISSED, but today i'm gonna talk about those two BECAUSE!!!! ABSOLUTELY SUDDENLY THIS PAIR TURNED OUT TO BE MORE INTERESTING THAN JUST A "HEEHEE I LOVE THOSE CHARACTERS, THEY'RE A COUPLE NOW"

at first it was actually like this, that's a normal situation for me

BUT HERE'S AT LEAST TWO SITUATIONS THAT MAKE THEM AWESOME

(I have to cut posts so often, I LOVE WRITING LETTERS SO MUCH)

if you've played through icarian cup, you know that the main thing about Zeefarer is her neverending lexicon of zailor speech, which is not just a fun detail, but also a part of her drama as a character, because the only one who understands her and is her only actual friend (and a translator) is a boot from Polythreme, but here's a thing, SHE LOSES IT TOO (by her own will) AFTER THE RACE (in our variant) as well as her crew, which could at least half understand her, and which probably ended up becoming sequencers

that's already a situation

BUT WE ALSO HAVE DIPLOMAT

who doesn't keep diplomatic notes in principle, either because of their boundless cunning, or because of their excellent memory, honestly I think both

AND LITERALLY, when they talk with Zeefarer, they could memorize her speech expressions and sooner or later start to understand her without any help

THIS IS VERY CUTE

i especially can imagine a situation in which the Zeefarer notices this herself, specifically when Diplomat translates her words for another person, just like the helpful boot in the ES (would be nice to draw this too but i'm not promising this)

AND HERE'S A SECOND SITUATION, that happens somewhere in the middle of the first one

as you could guess, in our variant the Zeefarer "wins" but manages to get saved, it's a spoiler, so i'm just gonna tell that despite being saved and the fact that the winner gets to their senses, is actually going through a sort of an adaptation (which is still a headcanon but takes root in many reasons, such as the fact that when he's saved, the Excursionist mentions that his dreams haven't went back to normal) and it's impossible to save them from becoming at least a normal sequencer

and i've already told that the Zeefarer is already in a situation, and that adds more to it, because even if the person can resist it, it's inevitable, and the more they resist the worse is their mental state and this makes it easier for a person to just break and get back to the machine (in our thoughts, you need to at least just get back to the geode)

unfortunately, it's not very easy to break Zeefarer despite the first half of her situation, and she could extend this until something really bad would happen

but thankfully there's a Diplomat who is an informant of the new sequence, they are clearly not allowed to know the true purpose of icarian cup, but here it's obvious that the one who disappears becomes a sequencer (BUT THERE'S A NUANCE, YEAH)

but anyway, we also have the Commodore, who's VERY good at reading people, and definitely knows how does the machine and the sequencers work, so he could understand that the Zeefarer's adaptation would be difficult, and to make sure that everything goes nicely (this is a new sequencer after all, and a useful one), it wouldn't hurt to send somebody to help her (and especially if it's a person who is not a sequencer, i think)

i don't have any ideas of how this dialogue would go, but definitely not that easily due to the Zeefarer's personality and her mental state, but in the end very effective

and despite this whole scary way, we actually come to a happy end, yay

(oh and she also gets her crew back then, not the ship from the race tho, which is kind of funny)

and thanks to Rinja for the help with translation, as usual, yay

[whoslaurapalmer]

anyway it felt weird to be the only person singing my brother happy birthday. i know he's not as like delighted by his birthday as i am about mine or about other people's but it's still, yknow, his birthday, and there was cake and ice cream and my present and a little bag of stuff from our grandmother. but. yknow. i felt the space where our mom was supposed to be. we ordered from the ramen place and he got a breaded chicken rice bowl and that ramen place makes like, every dish a serving for like four people so we had this insane amount of gorgeous breaded chicken that he kept insisting i took more pieces of to eat because he could not eat it all (stunning words from a man who WILL eat almost anything you put in front of him, despite also being particular as hell) and i thought mom would've liked to have had a bite of this. we had supermarket cake and i thought, mom loved this cake. i'm still eating her lactose-free ice cream because there was a carton and a half of it in the freezer and like, i'm not throwing that out! that's perfectly tasty ice cream!! also the lactose-free kind stays soft and isn't a pain in the ass to get out of the container. anyway, anyway.

i know the mail is weird even after a holiday but it's also weird to have specifically sent out cards to say 'hey you sent my mom a christmas card and i have such bad news for you' (not an actual quote, i was much more polite than that, as per THAT POST) but i haven't heard back from those people yet. a sympathy card would be, nice, but like, i shouldn't expect anything from anyone, but i also specified i was moving so maybe they didn't want to send one idk i don't know i also don't know if i'm moving actually but i probably will be i've been trying to not think about staying here bc it's not financially feasible probably but i still don't know but anyway anyway anyway. it's been just over two months without my mom and sometimes i'm like. doing fine. i do get out of bed INCREDIBLY late but that's mostly bc i sleep through most of my alarm but i can, in fact, conduct myself as a functioning person and cook and clean and do things and i'm proud of that!! but then other times it actually hurts more than it did two months ago. my mom was here and now she's not and she should but she's not and sometimes i want her here so badly!! when my stupid freestyle libre 3 falsely alerts in the middle of the night because i'm sleeping on it and it does that multiple times because it is, while an incredible advancement in technology, STILL STUPID, and i'm pissed about it!! when i shovel the snow and come back inside and want her to tell me i did a good job!! i wanted to. idk play in the snow and i wanted to make a snowman last year but i didn't get to but my mom pulled me outside last january and made me make a tiny little mound of snow in an approximation of a snowman but i didn't even want to do that this week because i couldn't show her (and i didn't want anyone on the street to. feel bad for me idk). but i feel her in like. hugs or the way people decorate or people doing something nice or her favorite songs on the radio or all kinds of things.

it took me like a decade to feel comfortable dreaming about my dad after he died because every time i dreamed about him i avoided him in it because i knew he wasn't alive and i didn't want to see him. (i have this sentiment in a fic and everyone's gonna read it and know i'm projecting but it's also such a good scene. this is also the way life, and writing, works. it's sooooo about me please pretend you are not seeing my soul, sha na naaaaa~) also i was 14 and repressed the hell out of that. i'm not 14 anymore. i dream about my mom and sometimes that happens but sometimes i'm just telling her something i really wanted to tell her and she just smiles at me. her mom called while i was washing my hair in the fucking shower the other morning and i wasn't gonna not pick up for my grandmother or tell her to call back (even if her leading statement in the conversation was 'hello lulu what do you think of all this snow!!!!!') so i stood in the bathroom trying to get a towel around my hair while i talked to my grandmother. and i wanted so badly to tell my mom because it would have made her laugh. but also if i could've told her then my grandmother would've been calling her, not me. and i had a dream i told it to my mom and she smiled and she laughed. and that was nice and it still made me cry. this was initially all one paragraph and that actually would've been long as hell but it flowed better that way but did you know there's a character limit for paragraphs in a tumblr post???????? what a fucking discovery. what a time to make this discovery. i'm doing my best.

ALSO MY BROTHER BLOWS THE CANDLES OUT ONE AT A TIME SIR THAT IS NOT HOW BIRTHDAY CANDLES WORK but i wasn't gonna say that.

[barbwritesstuff]

Hey anon who was asking about new romance options yesterday. I'm just realizing I completely missed part of your original response, specifically:

I'm also planning on editing some phase one RO encounters because I know some of them didn't come off as strong as I'd hoped.

I know you probably didn't mean it like this, but just in case, I wanted to clarify, I don't really think its your writing that's at fault, it's mostly down to various personal preferences. If you still wanna rework them anyway, not gonna try and stop you even if I could, but I just wanted to make it clear, the issue for me is with my preferences, not your writing. I could send my reasons if you think it'd be at all helpful, but I don't wanna send you a list of "here's why I don't like your characters as romance options" unprompted, especially since I feel like 2/5 mostly just come down to "not really my type".

I am planning on editing a few of the ROs because I think they just didn't quite give of the right vibes in their opening or early scenes. These won't be major edits, so they won't change characterisation at all, but I hope they'll make it clearer what sort of relationship you'd be getting with each RO.

For example, Iliya really isn't a schemer despite how he might seem in his first appearance. He's willing to do some dark and shady stuff (and never once pretends he's a good guy) but he isn't the sort of vampire that sits in the middle of a web of manipulation the way Marcel and (to a lesser extent) Tracy are.

In fact, he's mostly apolitical. He just wants to have a fun afterlife.

Several people have told me his strong arming in his introduction makes them think he's different from what he is... and while he is still going to do that, I think I'm going to change up some of the dialogue to make it clear that this guy really ain't a political genius.

Also Freya just needs to be stronger as a RO possibility. She's always meant to be a slower burn, but I want there to be more sparks in the earlier chapter than there currently are. It's a real delicate mix with her, because I want it to feel slow, and to feel like a friendship before a romance, but also not to feel lacklustre.

I hope all that makes sense.

[bilboyagathechickenfootedhobbit]

(on my suspiciously empty side acc because anons are off and i don't need anything remotely personal connected to main) you seem like someone who may not mind teenagers asking for advice, lol. so: you mentioned in a post that the hair on your head is shorter than on your arms and legs. made me incredibly jealous. i've been wanting to buzz mine for ages. i keep chickening out. it's already very short and generally non-standard but it feels like a step too far, yk? i was joking with my parents about a girl i'd just met who turned to me while nobody was looking and did an inquisitive limp wrist gesture at me. i stared at her for a minute, shocked to see such a tiktok-ified (on a young woman) mannerism (i deleted it months ago but it still haunts me) out in real life, and then nodded, because what else was i gonna do? only seen her in passing since. anyway, we were laughing. obviously, the fact that she thought to do it came up. i can't remember the exchange in detail, but my mom was saying something about how you can have short hair and wear, idk, frills and barrettes, and be [trailed off]- or you can wear "boy shorts" (my shorts) and no bra (it was in my own fucking house) and be [trailed off again, i believe]. my dad said something about how my appearance was "not exactly lipstick lesbian". this is nothing against my parents. they're awesome. they're not really the point. point is, despite being 5'5 and not exactly androgynous in various ways, i pretty regularly get mistaken for male- usually by restaurant staff or other people who have no reason to pay attention or barely glance my way, but it happens often enough to be significant. those who look at me a little longer have so far a) defaulted to they/themming me without asking (or even after asking, when i'd already said i wasn't trans), b) carefully deduced from what i said that i wasn't trans and then gone with it (digging probably much more obviously than they'd intended to) or, c) been too old for all that. i am not transgender. i was dysphoric, i got over it except for during the nights of all-round bad days, i'm fine now. i am, as far as i can tell, homosexual (family knows this). this isn't exactly something i want to advertise. it's apparently my only option, since the disdain i feel towards all female beauty rituals (and the cuts of 99% of womens' clothing- jesus christ) is too strong to even consider partaking, but i'd really rather i lived in a slightly saner world where i didn't stick out so much. the hair itself is extremely minor, obviously. it's hair. but it's the last bit of my appearance that is, in any way, decorated. this is not out of a lack of self esteem or something. it's just that the decorating grates on me. even earrings, most of the time, identical to the ones my brothers wear. i mostly like the hair. what i don't like is that it has to be cut every couple of months, and really that's too much time to grow- i have to actively set aside time to wash and style it- when it's grown out a bit i have to keep touching it and thinking about it or it'll get in my eyes. i am so very sick of everything impractical, but it feels like my last line of plausible deniability. if it, my last bit of decoration, is gone (which, note, will not be a win for my facial structure, not that i really care), instead of just odd looks from strangers i'm going to get knowing chuckles from relatives who think i'm... politically identifying into something. even, yk, the homosexual bit, which i never needed to "identify" into. "butches" are women i look up to like nobody else, but i'm not trying to join anyone's ranks. i'm just trying to exist. i'm sending this because i'm almost definitely blowing the consequences out of proportion and you seem like a very intelligent woman who's done already exactly what i'm considering. so, if you read all that, thank you, and thank you again if you're going to respond. your blog is incredible.

Hey, so sorry about how long it’s taken me to respond. I really wanted to make sure I gave this the attention it deserves.

So, you are correct that you’re probably blowing the consequences of this out of proportion, BUT, that really only holds true when you have enough distance and perspective from the act, which you do not have, being in the thick of it currently.

See, when I was younger I was the brash, loud “I don’t give a fuck” teenager. And I tried so, so, SO hard to truly embody that mentality, and maybe I tricked the people around me into thinking I didn’t care but I did. I originally buzzed my hair when the friend cutting my hair kept messing it up and making it shorter and shorter. I laughed it off and grabbed the clippers and we all joked, but I worried what everyone was going to think the next day. Everyone at our small school was already convinced my BFF and I were lesbian witches, a buzzed head would just make me out to be the “pants” in the relationship.

I stopped shaving early on in my first adult relationship and practically dared my boyfriend to say something. I stated I didn’t care what he thought, I wasn’t shaving ever again, but deep down, if he had said it grossed him out, I probably would have shaved. Not right then, but eventually.

Through so many ages and chapters of my life I have raged at the world that I didn’t care what anyone thought, I was going to do the thing regardless. And I always did, even when there was a secret part of me that felt like I’d cave in a heartbeat if even one person smirked the wrong way at me. Because I did care.

And then I turned 40 and I truly stopped caring with a suddenness and totality that, quite frankly, shocked me. All those years I had told myself I didn’t care and then I found myself REALLY AND FUCKING TRULY not caring, and it made all my declarations of “I don’t care!!” seem laughably weak in hindsight.

The point I’m trying to make here is: you just have to do the thing. It’s not going to be easy necessarily, but if you talk yourself out of it, you set a precedence. It’s literally fake it til you make it, and I didn’t get it until I actually finally made it. When I made it, I realized that all the times I set my jaw and stubbornly pushed my way through the fear of judgement, the fear of other peoples assumptions, each time I did that, I was laying the foundation for the next step, and the one after that. I was still anxious and worried, and I’m never going to say those are minor emotions. I remember the social pressure to conform, the whispering cliques and their sneaky looks over their shoulders. I remember how hard it is to buck normalcy and swim against the current. But I also look at my life now and know it would never have been even half this good if I had acquiesced and succumbed to the pressure to look a certain way.

You will always look exactly like you. People will look at you and ascribe different personality traits to you based on their own preconceived notions. There is nothing you can do about that. You may as well be what you want to be. I have been called so many things that I am not, from a lesbian to a boy to a hippie to a fucking Juggalette, none of which I am. And that’s fine. People will think what they think. The best part about fully embracing living the way you want to is that it will draw likeminded people to you. People who look at you and go “I really like that girls buzzed head” and not “that persons buzzed head must mean they’re trans/nb.” You’ll have friends that will rub your fuzzy scalp for good luck and call you their good luck charm. You’ll meet women who admire your bravery in not conforming. One of the things that has always surprised me is the amount of “normal looking” women that confide in me that they wish they could give up shaving, performing femininity, styling their hair, etc, and I always tell them the same thing: you can. It’s not easy, but the choice is always there.

I think other women look at the way I dress and act and think “oh I could NEVER do that, I’d be too scared!” And the secret? I’m scared too. Or I was, at first, and for a long time. I started eschewing femininity in my late teens. It took me another 2+ decades to truly stop caring. The sooner you start though, the sooner you’ll get there.

And again, people will always make their own assumptions about you. They will always perceive you through the lens of their own experiences and you cannot change that and it’s a waste of your time to worry about it. You’ll still worry about it because we’re human, but you have to start practicing not giving a shit. It’s the only way to get to a point where you truly don’t give a shit.

And hey. The cool thing about hair? It grows back. And if you buzz your head and are like “oh my god what have I done?” Wigs exist. If you’ve experienced dysphoria in the past and are worried about buzzing your head resurfacing those feelings, use a wig. I kept a few handy for when I worked at a doctors office and couldn’t rock my wild hairstyles. It can take time to feel comfortable in your natural body with non-conforming looks, and it would be better to use a wig as a temporary crutch than to succumb to feelings of dysphoria.

I know it’s so hard to buck normalcy as a teenager. Everything seems so….consequential. Like every decision you make right now is going to impact you for the rest of your life. That’s not true. I made massive fuckups as late as my 30’s and I have still been able to course correct and make things better. The decisions I made as a teen, especially aesthetic choices, have absolutely zero bearing on my life today. So while I will never minimize your fears (because what you feel is very real, even if it won’t matter in the long run) I will also tell you that the fears I had about acceptance in my teens have faded to the point where I look back and think how bizarre it was that I was so stressed over something that ultimately mattered so little.

High school and our teen years are a Petri dish inside a pressure cooker. It’s a time in your life that is like no other, thankfully. You’ll get older and you’ll meet people who look at you and see you for who you are, not just what they want you to be based on their own perception of you. You’ll meet people who don’t bat an eye at your shaved head and nonconformity. You’ll meet people who also think performing femininity is stupid and a waste of time.

All this to say, do what you truly want to do and don’t worry about what others think. When it comes to you and your body, your opinion is the only one that matters. Anyone who says otherwise can fuck right off into my fist.

-Bilbo

P.S. my best friends mom, who is now my son’s grandma, is a butch lesbian and the first woman I knew to shave her head. She did it to support her sister in law going through chemo, but found that she so enjoyed never having to wash her hair that she kept it shaved for years. She always told people she got tired of spending money on shampoo and they’d be like “Ah, of course” and we’d just laugh. I was lucky to have an adult woman like that in my life so that when I shaved my head, I knew it wasn’t THAT weird. I wish every young girl had a woman like her in their life; it would make it so much easier to break the bonds of beauty culture.

[doyelikehaggis]

hii it's me again !

001 with Scydia for the ask game ? I'm quite curious 🥰

heeeey!! happy to see you again!! <3 (I feel like I've answered for them before when I last did this, but I'm gonna do it again anyway because them <3)

When I started shipping it if I did: I think I said my second rewatch last time but I don't think that's true, I think it was actually my fourth or fifth rewatch because I was definitely hung up on sciles the first three times lol (and I still am) but scydia started creeping around the fourth time, sometime in like late 2018. I'm not sure which scene did it for me, but I just remember rewatching the scene from s1 in coach's office and being like... 'damn, kinda hot actually' and then there was the DEVOTION. The scene in s4 when they were both hooked up to be electrocuted. The scene when Scott said, 'you get me the time and I'll do something' and the hand holding.

My thoughts: They genuinely would have made sense in canon. Maybe I just have shipper goggles, but their parallels in canon made them so thematically compatable. I do feel some conflict when I think about them, purely because it feels like a betrayal to Stiles, but if my scydia au's he's usually happy with Malia, so he doesn't mind.

What makes me happy about them: So many of their scenes, but I'm honestly just happy they both made it out alive. I still haven't watched the movie, but I like to imagine that maybe they got together post-canon <3 (if I can't have sciles, I WILL have scydia). I also just love how much they always trusted each other once they were both tangled up in the supernatural. AND specifically the first time Lydia screamed in s2, and Scott just went all big-eyed and muttered, "Lydia"

What makes me sad about them: Probably the fact that they would never have been given a fair chance in canon, despite them being an obvious match. Again, maybe it's my shipper goggles, but it genuinely surprised me that they never went back there after s1, especially in s6 when I felt it would have made the most sense. But it was obvious which ships the writers favoured (or just one in particular) and so they were never going to be given a chance.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I admittedly haven't read a ton of scydia fics, so I'm not even sure what would annoy me

Things I look for in fanfic: Again, I haven't read many and I'm not sure what I would look for. Although, I am super interested in AU's where Scott gets taken by the ghost riders, and I feel that there's a great opportunity for scydia there, so...

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: For Scott, it would be Stiles <3 (I'd also accept McTateinski) But also just about anyone, especially Kira and Isaac who both deserved to come back! As for Lydia, I think again I'd be happy with just about anyone with one exception. They are both incredibly shippable characters

My happily ever after for them: Scott is obviously a vet, and Lydia is running her own business but she decides to go into teaching as well because she's Lydia, you know? And they get engaged while visiting Lydia's relatives in Ireland and they basically become foster parents for supernatural kids with nowhere to go. (Maybe they also end up with their own werewolf-banshee hybrid...) And of course they visit their friends and families regularly, because everyone is happy in my mind <3

Who is the big spoon/little spoon: It's usually Scott = big spoon, Lydia = little spoon

What is their favorite non-sexual activity: They sometimes read together, it's nice and peaceful. They also enjoy watching TV together - Lydia loves those mindless reality shows, and Scott doesn't entiely get it but also he gets sucked into them and more invested than her at times. And I wholeheartedly believe they are a board game couple. They love a good competitive game of Monopoloy or cluedo but they usually only pull the board games out when they have friends over (it gets messy every single time)

Send me a ship/character(s)!

[madara-fate]

As far as I know, this is what Kishimoto implied and this is also what the novels implied Ino and Sakura are still equal. I know a lot would disagree but honestly, this is not impossible and could be 60% true.

Sakura has the Byakugou Seal and Chakra-Infused Strength. She's so strong and can destroy buildings with one punch.

Ino's jutsus and abilities are not as flashy as Sakura. Her jutsus are kinda “lowkey” and “conservative.” However, despite being low-key, Ino's jutsus are actually powerful and scary. Mind-control is no joke. Also, her versions of Yamanaka Jutsus are deemed flawless. It's faster, doesn't need the target to be still, and can go with any distances. Ino, being a medic ninja is also stronger than an average ninja, she could send her enemies flying with one punch.

When it comes to Medicine, Sakura is far better than Ino but Ino is crowned as the best Sensory Ninja.

If they would ever fight, I would say that it is a mismatch. Unfair for some reason. Ino probably has the edge because there is no way Sakura can counter her mind jutsus. In physical combat, Ino would keep up but will lose eventually so I don't think she'd resort to punches and kicks. She'd trap Sakura with one of her jutsus the second their fight started. However, Sakura might also punch her the second their fight started.

I don't know, for some reason, I can't see a way for Sakura to win lmao. I guess, if her second mind would still work on Ino, maybe she'd win but I doubt it. Ino is expert with mind jutsus, I don't think Sakura would be able to break/defeat someone on something they are expert with. Especially, Sakura never developed her second mind.

Sakura is physically stronger but Ino's mental prowess is unmatched. So yeah, I guess they're still equal.

Sorry but this is incorrect. Ino isn't beating Sakura in a fight, ever. Kishimoto hasn't implied that they're equals, nor have the novels.

By your logic, Ino can literally defeat anyone solely due to her Mind Transfer jutsu, but that's not the case. It's difficult enough to trap someone with it in the first place due to the fact that it moves slowly and in a straight line, which is why the target needs to be restrained or trapped with the Shadow Possession jutsu. Sakura isn't just gonna stand still and let herself be trapped by it. But in the event that the jutsu is successful, anyone who has a strong enough will would be able to break out of it anyway. Sakura did this when she was 12 years old, and she improved more than Ino did as the years went by. Therefore, logic dictates that if she was able to break out of it then, there's no reason why she couldn't do so now.

Let me also comment on a few things directly.

Ino, being a medic ninja is also stronger than an average ninja, she could send her enemies flying with one punch.

Being a medic doesn't make you stronger than the average ninja, and Ino can't send her opponents flying with one punch, at least not anywhere near to the same degree that Sakura can.

Ino probably has the edge because there is no way Sakura can counter her mind jutsus.

Yes she can, she can simply stay moving. That alone would already make it very difficult for Ino to make a successful mind transfer, and in the unlikely event that Ino were to trap Sakura with it, the latter's will is strong enough to break out of it. Furthermore, any damage that Sakura sustains while the Mind Transfer is in effect, would also be sustained by Ino, so she wouldn't be able to do much towards winning a fight with it anyway.

She'd trap Sakura with one of her jutsus the second their fight started.

No she wouldn't, she literally wouldn't. Sakura would need to be restrained in order for this scenario to have any chance of happening.

I guess, if her second mind would still work on Ino, maybe she'd win but I doubt it. Ino is expert with mind jutsus, I don't think Sakura would be able to break/defeat someone on something they are expert with. Especially, Sakura never developed her second mind.

Sakura doesn't have a "second mind", no one does. Inner Sakura was just a visual representation of Sakura's inner thoughts, nothing more. Sakura's will was what forced Ino out the first time, and her will has only gotten stronger since then. So yes, Sakura would still be able to force her way out of the jutsu. Unless of course you think people like Naruto, Sasuke, and other Kage level ninja also wouldn't be able to break free from it? Because they would, and Sakura is no different.

[lecterthewhale]

Having work when the newest episode of Oshi No Ko comes out? Lame. Anyway, it’s later than my last few posts for this show, but I finally watched episode 5 and I love it!

This episode, in many ways, seemed to bring back a lot of that humor we saw and loved in the first episode that’s been largely missing in the past few episodes. Yes, we still have Aqua being obsessive about getting revenge and everyone still misses Ai(though, to be fair, I don’t know if it’s possible not to miss Ai), but that wasn’t the main focus.

In the past few episodes, the main comedic parts have come from Kana(assuming Aqua’s gay, following Aqua home, freaking out when she found out that Aqua wasn’t in the celebrity department, fighting with Ruby), and this episode continued that!

Considering how the previous episode ended, we all knew that Kana was going to feature decently heavily in this episode, but man I did not expect her going joining Ruby to go down in quite the way it did here! I mean, first of all Ruby and Alana constantly fight! I can’t wait to see these two continue to get closer because it’s honestly hilarious seeing the two of them go at each other yet also work together. On top of that, Aqua begging her to join? Hilarious, but also man did Aqua do Kana dirty! I love him so much! 😂

Okay, and then Ruby? She’s still so sweet and innocent, but now she’s finally starting to become an idol! Oh, and the way she wants to be honest and not have any lies? Man is she so sweet and naive! That being said, the fact that Ai was an expert lier and Ruby plans to be an idol who doesn’t lie is an interesting juxtaposition and it will be interesting to compare the two as the series progresses—especially since you know that the one thing that Ruby will have to lie about is Ai.

I will say, though, that having her idol group named the same thing as her mother’s seems like a dumb move considering that’s something that she probably wants to keep a secret. Like, there’s no way people aren’t gonna sit down and compare the new B-Komachi to the old one, so there’s bound to be a decent number of people who might notice the similarities between Ai and Ruby. Hopefully Ruby won’t end up regretting any of this!

As for my boy, Aqua, man I am laughing! I mean, we all saw the dating show coming(our obsessive little boy is willing to throw away his dignity for his revenge anytime!), but man, the fact that our lovable little sulky boy hates it all so much and yet is acting his literal heart out pretending to be happy about all of it is sending me! 🤣🤣🤣

As much as I love Aqua, I will say that the part where Aqua was talking about his love for Ai was a bit weird/uncomfy since it was framed in a romantic way yet she’s his mother and all that. It’s the thing that made me hesitate in the first episode, but Aqua has somehow managed to be respectful towards Ai despite being her fan, you know? Like, refusing breast feeding, not being overly cuddly, supporting Ai with her pregnancy, things like that. To me, all of it made what would otherwise be awkward and uncomfortable humorous and acceptable. This conversation brought up all those things, but Aqua said it wasn’t a romantic love, so I just hope that’s solidified a bit more as it gets brought up.

Anyway, I can’t wait to see how all this goes down—who will join Kana and Ruby’s Idol Group, how the dating show will go down, what’s up with the girls in the dating show(because I’m calling it now: all of them are sketchy!), and what will happen next! I really can’t predict much for what will happen in this show and it makes me so excited and curious about what’s going to happen next!