#and the everything about Only One Way
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John Darnielle really said "even things that permanently and intentionally mark you will fade away if you keep working in the light" in the same album as "everything you do will have permanent effects on others from the moment you start" and "some things in life are inevitable by virtue of living in it" and now I will never stop thinking about those funky horns
#Specifically referring to the chorus/bridge of fresh tattoo and the bridge/outro of clean slate#and the everything about Only One Way#One day I'll write my whole essay on the jenny from thebes album but until then I just have constant revelatory thoughts every time I liste#tmg
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terrisas really funny ithink
#kingdom hearts#kh#my art#image id in alt#kh fanart#Saix#saïx#isa#terra#kh terra#terrisa#Moonrocks#<-? I think people call them that sometimes. I think its cute#Kh saix#kh saïx#kh isa#Not tagging this xemsai because its only a little bit about it. I mean xemsais the joke but ykwim#Ok for real though ive been thinking about them these last few weeks and actually they're really cool 2me#Like theres whole “came back wrong” dynamic since isa remembers everything and terras basically a whole different person#And adding onto that saix and xemnas relationship wasnt exactly. Normal. So i could totally see something like isa-#-subconsciously reverting back to how he acted in kh2 while terras like ‘? You dont have to do that?” And like theyre both AFFECTED by-#-xemnas but in different ways and terra can see how xemnas was through isa and augh#Anyway. This is still an akusai house but i think isa can have an unhealthy one sided attachment to a person he barely knows out of their-#-resemblance to someone he ‘sacrificed himself to’ (kh character files words not mine).#It improves the biodiversity.#terraisa
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i thought the reason was obvious..??
but you dont seem to get the implication so i guess ill just keep talking and you can listen if you want to
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that one meme but its them :] sort of a sequel to this
#chilaios#uughhhh ughhh GUYS WHO CANT COMMUNICATE BECAUSE THE WAY THEY SHOW AFFECTION IS CONVOLUTED AND WEIRD!!!#HEEELPPP HEEEEEELP#you see. i WOULD make another meta post about them other than the one unfinished one i have. but this is the ONLY WAY i can describe it#without like. tripping over my words or being incomprehensible#UUGOHOHOHGHUUGH IMPLICATIOOONS IMPLICATIOOONSSSSSS#'mimics are cute when theyre turned over!' (i want to show how this creature you hate can be charming in its own right)#+ the implication within the story that chilchuck lets laios call him chil#+ chilchucks odd amount off knowledge on monsters#+ IDK. EVERYTHING.#ITS ALMOST 12 AM MY THOUGHTS ARENT COHERENT. I TOLD YOU THIS MEME IS THE ONLY WAY I COULD EXPRESS IT WITHOUT SOUNDING NONSENSICAL
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I cannot express enough that if your reaction, as a hobby artist, to not getting that many notes on your art is to say "maybe I should just stop doing art altogether" you need to stop posting art to tumblr
not necessarily forever, not even for long, but just stop putting your art on here and start doing it for you again, remember why you enjoyed doing art in the first place and stop relying on the attention of faceless people on the internet for your enjoyment of your hard work
believe me, I get it, nothing crushes the artistic soul quite like labouring for hours on a piece only for it to get like 10 notes, so you need to find your own source of joy in the act of creation and a lot of the time that means making art and not showing it to anybody
#not art#listen#for real#this is not about any one person because i've seen posts about it from a bunch of people#you think i post everything here? buddy i dont even post half my stuff here#every drawing you see is preceded by five more just like it#that never see my cursor close to the save button#i have a sketchbook i draw in regularly that i do'nt show to a single goddam person#i make cutout art from gels i steal from work and stick them to my windows and do paintings in my living room just for me#because that it the only way you are ever going to be able to retain your original love of art#is by doing it for the sake of doing it#not for the sake of seeing how many people stop and stare#anyways i'm sorry if this sounds terse#but i'm so sick of seeing artists put all their self-esteem and happiness in the hands of a blogging website#stop selling yourself short by measuring your self worth by how many reblogs you get and what people say in the tags#your artistry and your happiness are worth more than that#if you're an artist for a living that's another story#but even then#even then#anyways sorry i'm done ranting
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Namseok through the years for @raplinenthusiasts ✨
+bonus:
#btsgif#btsedit#cyphernet#dailybts#raplineuser#userdimple#userpat#useremmeline#tuserandi#usersky#annietrack#usermaggie#creatyoon#usersevn#hoseokedit#namjoonedit#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#bts#*#tw flashing#cr. 0613data mindeedie (twt) pickcon(yt) tr.cr. bts-trans @/jung-koook#happy birthday julia my darling!#i'll send the message into your dms to tell you everything i think about you later😈#and for now i hope you'll accept this small gift i made for you#i know this is not the typical post i make in such occasions but i'm still in my burnout phase (slowly getting out of it)#so i decided to go with the simplest compilation: one gif (photo) for one year + one bonus photo bc i love it very much#there is not common idea here i just made gifs only from videos i've seen x)#so the title could be namseok and it's different sides: silly chaotic caring supporting <3#they're very dear to me and so are you i love you sending tons of love kisses and hugs your way🌷
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911 really is such a good reminder of the particularly kind of joy that is weekly, seasons-long shows with many episodes per season. every character gets a moment to shine even in a truncated season. the satisfaction of seeing characters grapple with stuff that happened YEARS ago. having multi-episode arcs and one-off arcs that are equally enjoyable. beach episodes (metaphorical). I know we're all saying this all the time but why can't more tv be like this
#911#911 spoilers#lauren feels things#do I hate waiting week to week for this show?#of COURSE#but it's so fun to run to youtube after an episode and watch the promo for next week#(why don't weekly streaming shows do promos btw? we should bring those back)#this week's 911 really was such a SHINING example of this#in one episode we got:#HUGE bobby exploration#bathena content#major hen exploration#AND henren content#eddie breakthrough#buddie content#callbacks to seasons 1 and 2 in MANY ways#tommy content!! that confrontation with his old shitty captain did so much in such a short time#we didn't get enough chimney or madney for my taste#but that's only because I can LITERALLY never get enough of them#and chimney had a hUGE episode 2 episodes ago so that's okay#and!!!!!! this is after a whole week spent JUST on bobby!#that was so compelling!!!#and in a 10 episode season still feels like we're getting to everything#the callback to dosed#the return of bobby's suicidal ideation#I mean jesus CHRIST#I'm so glad he and athena talked about the book#also I would loooooove love love another bobby chimeny convo about this at some point#bc that scene in s1 when bobby tells chimney about his plans to kill himself#is one of my favorite scenes it's SO good
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Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to man. For this he was chained to a rock and tortured for eternity. Oppenheimer (2023) dir. Christopher Nolan
#oppenheimer#filmedit#cillian murphy#oppenheimeredit#henricavyll#usersilk#useranimusvox#jokerous#dailyflicks#barbenheimer#nikolatexla#this masterpiece was way beyond me. way beyond anyone else#think of a movie that everything about it is perfect#the soundtrack. the actors. the script. the atmosphere.#i don't remember if i ever watched a scene before where my heartbeat was that fast#there were more than 100 people inside and no one made the slightest sound and it was like i could hear every heartbeat#this was my first nolan movie. i couldn't go tenet (which was amazing too) but i'm glad i didn't bc this was the best one#mind you the only thing i understood at first sight was a scene about black holes in which i was genuinely interested before#you know the movie becomes way more fun when you actually understand it - not as a whole but also the details
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saying this as respectfully as possible but. Do not put fandom content creators on a pedestal. We are also just fans contributing to a community just as you are. We have boundary on our own work and that’s it. What I say is not and should not be considered sth the whole fandom should listen to. I’m just a normal ass person ranting about things on my blog. If it does not have a fandom tag for others to engage in, do not make it out to be me trying to start fights or addressing the whole community. Because it’s not.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, my art, my lore talk, is biased. I’ve never tried to hide that I view Marika a certain way and will always develop my theory following that base assumption.
Aside from translation stuffs and pointing out in-game items, everything else I say you can look at it, agree or disagree, and move on to form your own opinions. Just because I draw stuffs doesn’t mean you get to saddle me with responsibilities about managing fandom expectations. What the hell? I’m a fan artist, I’m the last person who you should look at for “leaderism” (?) WHAT?
I can and will be a hater in my own space, like I know sometimes other artists will just post their stuffs and not engage too heavily with fandom, and for a while I did try to do that here (because I’m already a dramatic ass on twitter), that’s just not me though.
You will get art and you will get my opinions as well.
#asking ppl to [celebrate different takes] is... WHAT?#different takes as in well I think she likes apples and you think she likes grapes. yeah that’s some fun discussion to be have#but different takes as in the fundamental of a character’s drive and personality??? NO#let’s put that down very clear here#I can still read fics where Marika is cold and calculate and manipulative as long as I can see there’re layers to it and the author#set it up in a way that I can see they got her backstory and build those layers based on that#and then there are ppl who literally only portray her as omg evil girlboss 101 let’s blame everything on this cardboard character#then I click back.#and there r ppl who might not vibe with how i portray her and they can ignore me. THAT'S OK TOO. we r in our own space.#it’s as simple as that!#ever since the dlc is out i literally could see the amount of ppl blocking me go up and im just “ok” because i do go around muting ppl too.#that's normal fandom space managing experience. pls do that#lore discussion is for ppl to engage in so u say ur piece i say mine and we can continue or not depending on situation#but FANWORK? leave each other alone or be a hater in ur own space ok?#personal#also where are these ppl who have been defending Marika at... because if u exclude me#and some others i can count on one hand. where are these ppl?#ppl saying headass stuffs about the HS aren't even Marika fans or engage too much in fandom to begin with#meanwhile u can't even find one youtube lore essay that says anything good about her#ppl are even trying to give Messmer's mother position to GEQ for no goddamn reason#like where is this overwhelming support for Marika at cuz as the active Marika stan around im not seeing it
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Anyway, if you're a fan of Bruce and Steph having a father/daughter relationship you should probably go read about Oliver and Mia.
#maybe i'm over stepping a little because I've only had Mia and Oliver for about three days#but I have read Green Arrow 2001 issues 1-46 in that time#and it really feels like they have the dynamic certain sections of fandom want Steph and Bruce to have#stephanie brown#bruce wayne#oliver queen#mia dearden#green arrow#speedy ii#spoiler#batman#robin iv#batgirl iii#listen#every couple of months someone makes a post about Steph telling Bruce she needs tampons/pads#and Bruce going overboard buying one of everything because he doesn't know what she likes#that's not Bruce Wayne#Bruce Wayne would probably go buy something#but he would also stay on the phone with her the whole time so he can lecture her about not being prepared#which is why Steph would never ask him to do it#there are so many other people she would ask first#but Mia and Oliver?#Yeah that's they're dynamic#Mia would 100% ask him to grab something on the way home#and he would come home several bags of over priced menstrual products#muttering the whole time about microplastics and unsafe chemicals#but also he bought the cheap ones too because he's not sure what exactly she likes#and her comfort matters more than his grips with chemical waste (though he'll never admit that) (she knows anyway)
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Clone^2 - Separation Strikes
"Why do I have to go?" Damian asks, surly and accent-thick, it sounds more like a demand and a whine at the same time. Sitting on the kitchen table with his arms crossed, in a green t-shirt that Danny bought him at a whim when he was at a thrift shop, and black shorts, he's never looked more like a kid. There's a little backpack leaning against the table leg, Damian begrudgingly picked it out when they went shopping.
His English has grown in leaps and bounds since Danny found him -- er, or more accurately; since Damian was spat out in front of him. -- and very little did they have to use the translator on Danny's phone these days.
Which meant one thing: Damian can start attending school comfortably now. And 'go' was the Amity Smiles Child Care Center. Danny and Jazz went as kids until they were twelve, and Mom and Dad actually managed to convince the center director to let Damian enroll for the summer.
And it was summer; Damian starts today.
"Because," Danny says, trying and failing to hide the smile pulling on his face, his heart warm and soft, and also laughing at Damian's expense; "being cooped up in the house all day isn't good for you, and you're starting school in the Fall. And, in Jazz's words: you need to have interactions with other kids your age for the benefit of your social development. And besides, it's only for the morning."
Damian's nose scrunches up, and his eyes roll so violently that for a moment, Danny thinks about joking that he'll get his eyes stuck like that. He holds his tongue; his little brother already looks like he's five seconds away from committing an act of violence.
"I don't need social interaction." Damian sneers, his cheek in his hand; a neverend pool of pride. "I am--"
"The Blood of the Demon Heir, better than everyone else." Danny cuts off, waving his hand in dismissive circles, his voice mockingly deep. Damian's brown skin darkens in embarrassment, and he scowls at Danny. "I know, bud. But Jazz is right, -- don't tell her I said that, -- you should be around kids your age."
Especially when he starts First Grade in the Fall. Honestly -- Danny was a little nervous to send him to the center. Damian's long since cut the habit of trying to kill or otherwise maim people, his palms ache-burn with gentle reminder, but his tongue was as sharp and as cutting as his sword. He still struggles with trying to quell it when he's upset. Vicious child-weapon that he once was, and will never be again.
Danny knows that it comes from a place of fear and defense, that Damian lashes out because that's what he's been taught. That at the end of the day, he doesn't really mean what he says, and he's learning to express himself better. But the other kids don't know that, and kids can be unforgiving and cruel.
Danny just...
His slow beating heart sighs, melancholy settles behind his lungs.
He doesn't want Damian to be outcasted. He doesn't want him to be alone.
Not like he was.
Damian sneers again, but says nothing, his shoulders crawling up to hide his ears like a turtle receding into his shell. Danny watches him silently, leaning against the kitchen counter with his own arms crossed. The clock hanging on the wall ticks in their ears -- it's almost time to go.
He watches Damian, careful, and so he sees it when his little brother's stone-shell pride and petulance shudders, and cracks. The darkened furrow of Damian's brows weakens, and for a moment, slants back.
Ah, Danny thinks, his own shoulders slumping. Epiphany washes over him, and his sad-heart soothes in warm understanding. So that's what it is.
His head tilts, and his hair spills over his shoulders, messy and fluffy, tickling his neck. Some of his bangs fall into his face. "Hal 'ant easabiatan ya habibi?" He asks, voice low and soft. Just as Damian's English has improved, so has Danny's Arabic. He still stumbles over himself some days, and Damian says his accent is trash, but they can have whole conversations now in Damian's mothertongue.
(Danny was incredibly proud of himself for it.)
Damian's face darkens, his blush spreading across the rest of his face, and he ducks his head down. Grown-out curls, black-brown and springy, falls over his eyes. "La!" He yells, loud and indignant, and not at all convincingly. "La 'asheur bialtawaturi!"
He was nervous. Danny can see it now, in the hunch of his shoulders and the tightness of his face, and faintly, he can feel it too. In the ecto-rich air of the Fentonworks House, it thrums, barely-there, like a hummingbird behind his lungs.
Danny can't stop the little, fond smile that forces itself across his lips and upticks the corner of his mouth. "It's okay to be nervous, little brother." He says, he sounds like Jazz when he says that. He doesn't think she'll mind him borrowing the nickname.
He pushes himself off the counter, and Damian refuses to look at him, hiding behind his hair and in his shoulders. It takes three long strides for him to reach the table, and Danny turns, plants his hands on the ledge, and hoists himself up. Right next to Damian.
Damian leans into him easily when Danny's arm wraps around his shoulders and tucks him close to his heart. He can feel his ear against his ribs. Danny hunches over him, resting his chin on Damian's head. "It's so okay to be nervous, actually. I was nervous, Jazz was nervous." He tells him, scratching the blunt edge of his nails across his scalp. "Everyone gets nervous."
"'Ana last aljumiea." Damian mumbles, as small and feeble as he was the night on the OPS Center balcony, realizing that his mom and the League weren't coming for him. Realizing that he was replaceable.
Danny's half-working heart squeezes; in grief, in rage, and his faucet eyes sting. He breathes in carefully, and presses his nose into Damian's hair in a loving faux-kiss. "You're right, you're not everyone." He says, steady and strong, because if he's not a pillar for his family, who else is he?
He can feel Damian's eyes flick up to him, and Danny smiles into his black-brown curls. Tilts his head to squish his cheek against him instead, hand dropping to thumb below Damian's lashes. "You're Damian Fenton," Because the adoption went through a few weeks ago, and he's still riding that high, "You're my baby brother. O' Artist Extraordinaire, Kickass with a Sword, Vegetarian and Wonderful Co-Ghost Hunter."
Damian tries to stifle a smile, and fails. Score! Triumph gathers in Danny's gut, his smile grows wider. He squeezes Damian tight, and only releases him so he can look him in the eyes. "And if anyone gives you a hard time at school, and I mean anyone--"
Danny has bad memories of the teachers looking the other way when the other kids were bullying him, all because he was a Fenton.
And Danny, bleeding heart, bleeding hands, loves his family more than he will ever love himself, will never let Damian experience the same injustice. Not if he can help it.
His eyes narrow, and the buzzy-film of ectoplasm covers his eyes, making them glow, "--You tell me. And as your awesome great big brother-and-technically-dad-but-only-biologically, I will handle it."
Damian, wonderfully made, full of light, his little brother Damian, giggles weakly at him. A sound that's worth it's weight in gold. The scary eyes dissipate, and Danny matches the sound with a cock-eyed, impish grin, dragging Damian into a soul-crushing, too-tight hug. The kind that only annoying older brothers can give. "Got it?"
That gets a proper, if short, laugh out of Damian. He wriggles in Danny's arms, trying to break free. But Danny does calisthenics, his arms are as big as Damian's head, so it doesn't work. "Understood, now, daeni 'adhhab ya 'akhi!"
Danny laughs, loud and bright, and loosens his hold just a smidge, only so he can adjust his grip and hop off the table with Damian still in arm.
"Never!" He crows, hoisting Damian slightly. One eye flick at the clock, and in one quick move, he secures Damian under one arm like a football, and hooks his foot under the strap of his backpack. Kicking it up, he tosses it into the air and catches it with his free hand, and slings it over his shoulder. "Now, to the car, my boy! Before we're late and Mom and Dad get charged."
Damian groans, childish and dramatic and long, but his face is all squished up with a wide grin and glee. Danny can taste his joy beneath his tongue.
"And, if my little pep talk didn't encourage you," He says, reaching the door to the garage, flipping Damian up onto his hip instead. "If you have a good day today, I'll make you bal mithai when you get back."
Like all kids at the promise of sweets, Damian's eyes widen and glitter. Danny loves seeing Damian be a kid, it's his favorite thing in the world. "I will!"
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc au#dpxdc fic#dpxdc ficlet#clone^2#clone danny fenton#MAN I LOVE THIS AU SM#clone danny#danny fenton is a clone#i lomv. them :((( SO MUCH. I'VE MISSED WRITING THEM. i had this idea since talking to purple-goo-writes abt clone danny last week#they mean everything to me. they are the brothers ever. so family coded. don't ask me about the timeline here it doesnt exist#its post-danny's hands getting permanently fucked up and thats it lol.#parent danny is great but 'big brother danny' is SO fucking fun to write. he's silly and goofy and annoying in the way only siblings are#smth about writing danny being so full of love and kindness and protective compassion. bleeding heart that he is. its like doing cocaine#chaotic danny is SO fun and silly but kIND danny is. holy shit its better than getting high. altho ive never been high so i can only guess#there's just smth addictive in writing him being affectionate and loving and caring. he's heartful and heart full.#he's sweet - not like sugar - but like caramel. fulfilling and chewy. a kindness that gets stuck in your teeth and melts on your tongue#he's such an annoying older brother. i love him#bal mithai is a type of pakistani dessert btw. since Nanda Parbat is based off the mountain nanga parbat which is in pakistan. i figured#that the food damian had in the league might've been pakistani-based. or at least heavily pakistani in orign. maybe. i just didn't wanna#look up 'arabic desserts' and pick the first one off the list. felt inauthentic that way alsdh#translations since you wont get it through google translate:#1. 'are you nervous beloved?' 2. 'no! I am not nervous!' 3. 'I'm not everyone' 4. 'let me go brother!'#while i dont usually use 'little brother' or 'brother' as terms of endearments between siblings. Jazz canonically calls Danny that and#i figured if i worded it in a way that sounded natural. it would sound less soul-crushingly cringy. look as someone wit THREE siblings.#i know exactly how siblings interact with one another. but this felt like a special exception. they don't say it often
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If I think about the double standard and the disparity with which the media handled Daniel in comparison to everyone else I may lose my mind.
#i genuinely feel like im in bizarro world. karun chandok the fucking donkey being like:#“you have to feel for checo . he was doing so well in sq1 :( ”#in comparison to the way they viciously circled around daniel for medicore performances let alone bad ones#similar with Naomi just now. i cant believe im gonna defend Perez in the same breath but for her to say;#“Lawson has done everything to deserve checos seat. he has ticked all the boxes” ????? bitch what boxea are you talking about?#she literally said the only thing he needs to work on is his “temperament” would love to know what shes on lol#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON LAZENBY HES SUCH A DUMB FUCKING RATTTTTTT#the way hes like “why is Lawson getting so much heat for complaining about sergio? Yuki has been doing it for years!”#well yuki has been in the 'Junior team' for 4 years now#what the everloving fuck is going on in the sport#obviously we all know how the media shapes the narrative but its genuinely still so jarring to see the standard they held daniel to#and the callousness with which they treated him
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And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
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☆ de fontaine
{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
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CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.
[youtube with closed captions]
a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.
#spn#vid#spnamvarchive#so fun fact i started making this more than a year ago. got it 90% done. and then was like no this isn't working#i will come back to this later.#it turns out that i needed to make some videos about cas and angels (the love club + help i'm alive amvs)#in order to make this one. anyway this video is about french mistake robert singer voice season six#i really struggled with it because i could NOT find the thread until i realized that it needed to be literally godstiel pov#it's about love and desire and jealousy and hurt and omnidirectional rage <3#it's about the fact that cas is so utterly dependent on dean for his self-image - however dean sees him that's it#it's about having a moment of reflection about lashing out before you do it but doing it anyway#it's about taking cruelty and dishing it out#and crucially. it's about being pregnant#mpregpocalypse#fun fact: i made a post about working on three season six amvs all the way back in nov. 2022#and only now have they come to fruition (this one + love club + metric)#anyway. have you heard that cas is obsessed#the thing is i do kinda want to add some specific director's commentary here. like the first verse is about cas being like.#incredibly deeply emotionally vulnerable to dean. as in: his emotional state and self-image is totally dominated by what dean thinks of him#and if dean is mad at him. and then the second verse is about... dean upsetting him and him responding to that by Killing Everybody lol#like he has a moment of reflection ['certain regrettable things are now required of me' + killing rachel] where he's like i've 1) also done#bad things and 2) i feel bad about it so maybe i will regret Killing Everyone. but then he does it anyway due to everybody keeps turning#on him. i feel like the rest of the amv is self evident. i guess i should note that 'share a paradise' is about how both of them have#a nostalgic view of the early days of their relationship when it wasn't Like This lol. but everything else i think is self evident.#oh and the reason the other angels flash onscreen with their burned wings at the end is i'm EVOKING the image of cas' wings burning. even#though it doesn't happen. i'm evoking it
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I still find it funny that people call eleven a "deadbeat husband" and their marriage "toxic" but twelve is the "perfect husband" and their marriage "wedded bliss" all because of the few moments we'd seen between 11 and River were them being "toxic". yes of course! let's ignore how the minisodes show how that description isn't true and even how little moments in the episodes themselves – "what? that's it?" (why haven't you kissed me goodbye? are you being sly on purpose so I'd kiss you first?) and "they wouldn't bury my wife out here" and the music room is the heart of the home and it's not a ghost story, it's a love story – show 11 cared and put in the work and yes, they're going to have disagreements like the ones in TATM because duh who doesn't but it does not mean it is the entirety of their relationship but people have taken it and made it the entirety of their relationship.
#doctorriver#doctor x river#river song#doctor who#eleventh doctor#the doctor#twelfth doctor#yowzah#eleven x river#can you tell i am passionate about this topic? no? yes? maybe?#i blink my eyes in confusion(?) the absurdity of it all(?) when i see 11 described as a deadbeat husband#do people still not understand that we only saw like 3% of their relationship? that we didn't see *everything*??#i really have to post those damn wonderful twitter threads here#i thought i'd only be seeing those awful takes on twitter but hah no apparently not#and that other one saying river has no agency? river has no say in her life? river had been forced to keep her life as is?#that the doctor didn't exert that much effort for her the same way she did for him? i'm still trying to digest it tbh because what if i've#taken it the wrong way? but it came up again on my feed and it's still the same. damn. people really believe river had no agency? no choice#tia talks tish#dw musings
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I'll find you. Wait for me.
hee hee hoo hoo AUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PAIN PAIN SUFFERING PAIN IN ALL DIRECTIONS!!!! TO HELL WITH IT (LITERALLY)!!!!!!!!!
#oakworthy#dungeons and daddies#dndads#fanart#hermie the unworthy#normal oak garcia#The Normal AU#counterpoint: this could also be normal canon. pun intended#they're soulmates your honor#rip to everybody on a phone. this only looks good on pc#I haven't drawn or really even posted about normal a lot because#I guess my internal image of him doesn't really look like what the rest of the community draws him as#like I tried to do the fluffy haired normal in one of my first posts with him#(was also an oakworthy drawing LMAO)#but it didn't feel right for me. it didn't match what I saw in my brain#no disrespect to fluffy normal. shoutout to that guy#gotta be one of my favorite genders#but yknow. every artist has their own unique way of drawing the cast#and it can tell you so much about how they perceive them. so much about the artists themselves.#have you fucking looked at sage's willy stampler. the npcs series. have you looked at their fucking anything dude#have you fucking LOOKED at iersei's EVERYTHING. ESPECIALLY THEIR NORMAL HE IS SO CUTE#I went on a whole rant about dndads artists to my friend qrow the other day. because I could not physically#keep in how much I love these people in our community#would you guys think im weird if I made a post going into Extremely Concerning Detail about how much I love the artists here#I love so many artists here#its so insane. its SO insane#IM ALREWADY ON MY SOAPBOX. ARE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT#SOB#I have to do my homework#my art
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