#and the entries just kept getting longer lmao sorry about that

[theclearblue]

favorite sapphic ships (can be from any media), go‼️‼️

Happy to do my part during Lesbian Visibility Week 🫡 (No order except for the last one being my fave)

1. Clarke/Lexa (The 100) - Unfortunately a victim of bury yours gays but first time for me seeing a Sapphic ship and I was like "girls....kissing girls?! Interesting this means nothing to me." (<- liar)

2. Emma/Regina (Once Upon a Time) - Same as before, just one of the earliest f/f ships for me

3. Korra/Asami (TLOK) - Didn't get why this was canon when I first watched it (I had yet to have some Realizations lmao), rewatched it at some point and was like Oh. oooohhhhh

4. Nobara/Maki (JJK) - Nobara is the lesbian of all time omg....the way she talks about Maki and appreciates her SO much. Maki so clearly appreciating her company and her support (but also maybe doesn't even know how much Nobara is so Ready to Fight anyone). They keep getting put on dates in official art....I know what they are....

5. Nami/Vivi (One Piece) - It has been...twenty one years (of irl time) since these two were separated...when they're reunited (which seems like it could hopefully be soon) it's gonna be the biggest Yuri event in the world (to me). LOVE them so much the way they looked out for each other throughout everything and Vivi recognizing Nami's strengths and Nami even though she's scared of fighting getting hurt because she loves Vivi SO much. Girls of all time.

6. Ymir/Historia (AOT) - I've had my issues with AOT so I don't end up talking about it a lot, but this is hands down the best ship. Historia was my fave character and they were IT to each other and the final letter Ymir sends to her is top five most devastating moments in the whole series. Love some tragic lesbians.

7. Hinako/Asashi (Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon) - Read a lot of published yuri at one point and this one was a standout. Hinako struggles with comphet, anxiety, trying to meet people's expectations of her, and is also good ace rep! The two of them start out as friends and Hinako coming to accept herself is sooo good, probably some of the best canon rep I've read (need an anime for this asap)

8. Rhaenicent (HOTD) - After Game of Thrones bombed so spectacularly at the end I thought I would not like HOTD, but they brought me back on board with the toxic lesbians. Literally inseparable from each other at the start and the one person that they trust, and it just devolves as EVERYONE around them fucks them over in a way where they end up blaming the other and are bitter and hostile about it, but even still after everything you can tell there's some love that never went away truly? Insane.

9. Pharah/Mercy (Overwatch) - ...Exposing myself as an overwatch fan....But these two have some of the gayest voicelines in the entire game (Pharah is my main so I would know lmao. I'm also automatically gay for any Mercy that pocket heals/buffs me ajssllflglh). Fly through the skies together and protect each other...HEAVY flirting while they're at it...Mercy is like the one person to know about Pharah's mommy issues....Yeah I like them lmao.

10. Utena/Anthy (Revolutionary Girl Utena) - Woooaaahhhh who saw this one coming as my fave sapphic ship....everyone? Ok. Anyways ship of all time to me. It's healthy. It's toxic. It's doomed. It's saved. It's canon. I can't even really put into words in one short paragraph why they work so well, but them and their relationship are the heart of RGU. When they get to the point where Utena realizes that what Anthy doesn't need is a prince to save her, rather that Anthy needs her own agency, and Anthy is FINALLY able to leave her abusive situation through that agency, and be able to find and love Utena with full trust. The queer and feminist themes of RGU really just make it unlike any other ship that I've seen.

[danieyells]

hi there,

thank you so much for all the voicelines you post !! if it’s okay, can i request subaru’s ?

thank you again !

You're welcome! At some point I might go back and put in the ones I leave out because they don't appeal to me as much lol but since i always end up posting 99% of them anyway I think it's enough for most people hahaha. It's all of them now! Sorry for the delay.

I WAS GONNA OMIT ONE OR TWO BECAUSE OF SPOILERS but eh i'll just warm for like. extra spoilers. since after doing more code peeking it wasn't the spoiler i thought it was. SUBARU IS A SWEETIE THOUGH. I also read Subaru's chats which were put in the code recently and. Man this guy needs anxiety meds. I have a small guess as to what his stigma is, but we'll learn in a few days anyway.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"I'm very sorry to have kept you waiting. It's wonderful to see you again."

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"It looks like there's a notice for you. I'd be happy to go pick it up for you if you've got your hands full. Oh, forgive me if I'm overstepping."

oh no he's anxious about helping--

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"I really am so lucky to be surrounded by so many kind people like you."

"I never thought I'd get the chance to enjoy the lifestyle of a student until I came to Darkwick. Every day truly is fulfilling here."

it feels like subaru is like. . .the only one who actually enjoys school life here. . .or who really enjoys being here period lmao. . . .

"You think I'm always smiling? Ha ha, I hear that a lot. It just happens when I'm around all of you."

"I may be the captain, but it's just in name. I think Haku is much better suited for the job than me."

"I've been working since I was four, so people often said I was mature for my age. But the truth is, I've still got a lot to learn."

that makes two characters whose parents have essentially been keeping them from normal life and normal childhood for work reasons since they were four year olds. . . .

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"I tend to just have hot water for breakfast. I know it would be better for me to eat a proper meal, but it's just so much effort."

DO WE REALLY HAVE TO START WITH "I NEED THE GHOULS TO EAT PROPER FUCKIN MEALS". . . .

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm sorry I'm so late. The campus is so crowded I can never manage to walk in a straight line, so it always takes me longer than I think. Silly, isn't it?"

baby you're hardly the first person i've met with anxiety about crowds. you're fine.

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"What would I do without Haku's help? Hotarubi would be a mess without him."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I wonder if I should apply early to take out any common artifacts I might need for this mission. I'll ask Haku what he thinks..."

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ah!  You surprised me there... I just got back from a small errand. Do you need something?"

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ever since I was a child, the performing arts were my only focus. Maybe that's why people always say my mannerisms are so peculiar. It bothers you too, doesn't it?"

poor boy doesn't know how to act if he isn't acting. . .he doesn't know how to exist off-script. . .no wonder he made a deal with a demon. it's probably the first thing he's ever done for himself.

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'd like to go to the cafeteria, but the line is always so long. I feel bad taking time to choose while people are waiting behind me. The bar of entry feels a little high."

i am once again suggesting subaru get anxiety meds. hell go to sinnostra and get some weed, i bet they sell that. i hear it can help.

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm just about to go and meet a friend. I hate to inconvenience you like this, but if it's something urgent, could you speak to Haku about it instead?"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"What am I going to do? We're supposed to be meeting up in an hour... If I cancel now, they'll hate me..."

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Whew... I'll walk you back to your house, {PC}. Oh, it's no problem at all, I assure you! I wanted some fresh air anyway."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"I have an Anomalous Ecology test coming up. It's such a fascinating subject, I couldn't help but stay up all night studying. Now I'm a little sleep-deprived."

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm going to stretch my legs a little. I might not have a show to practice for right now, but I need to keep putting myself through my paces. I'll get rusty otherwise."

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm sorry my phone's been making so much noise. I recently downloaded an app by mistake, and it won't stop sending me notifications..."

awww he's also technologically incompetent. . .poor guy was probably raised with such a heavy focus on his career he just. never needed a smartphone. anyone he needed to contact or who needed to contact him was probably always very close by. it sounds like he didn't even properly go to school before going to Darkwick. Somebody please take this boy on a walk. like anywhere. take him to a library. buy him a churro. can sho make churros? this is somebody who's never had any sort of normal social experience and sees how different he is and wishes it weren't the case, unlike Ritsu who assumes everyone else is like him, i think he'd like to have some more Experiences.

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"... ...Oh! Hello, {PC}—I didn't even notice you there. My mind was somewhere else."

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Good morning! Sorry? My hair's messy? You're right, it's sticking right up at the front... That's embarrassing. I'll fix it right away."

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I usually have lunch in the dormitory. I do eat on the terrace with Lyca every now and then, but he seems so busy these days..."

Lyca is one of the members of Obscuary, btw! Seems like he and Subaru are friends.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"I didn't take you for a night owl, {PC}. Since you're here, I suppose I'll stay up a little longer. You're sure you're okay? You're not sleepy?"

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Do you visit Sinostra very often, {PC}? I see... Oh, no reason. I was just making conversation. Ha ha."

why do you ask that. . .a certain mafioso captain wouldn't happen to be suspicious of you would he. . .or maybe you owe them money. . .or maybe you used to be part of Sinostra and moved to Hotarubi. . . .

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"It's getting late, {PC}. How about we finish this tomorrow? Thank you for keeping me company all this time."

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Oh, I couldn't ask you to come all the way to my room to wake me up—I'd feel terrible. I do very much appreciate the thought, though."

it's okay buddy jin already makes them do it, one more pit stop won't hurt.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh, hello, {PC}. Sorry, I was actually just on my way out. I should be back by evening—do you mind if we speak then?"

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Lyca has seen my message, so why hasn't he responded to it? I hope nothing bad has happened to him..."

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Lyca will adapt well to human society, I'm sure of it. I'm so relieved that Darkwick chose to trust him. I can't thank you enough for your help."

he really likes Lyca huh? that is his dog.

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You can't sleep? Then let me tell you some stories. Legend has it that evil spirits appear once you've told a hundred. Now, what number was I up to..."

BOY IS TRYNA GET YOUR ASS HAUNTED.

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"I don't want to seem like I'm testing you, I just... I get really anxious sometimes... I'm sorry. I'm being weird, aren't I?"

he's the type to ask 'are you sure you love me? are you sure you wanna be with me?' after you get married and move in together and own a house and have two kids with another on the way. he's the hyper anxious 'i'm sorry we disagreed about our favorite colors do you hate me?' friend(affectionate) I wonder though, is he apologizing for seeming like he's testing you because he's using his stigma to see what you've been up to or something. . .? Probably not lol it's more likely he just keeps asking if you like him

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"There is no time like spring. Everyone seems more relaxed this time of year. It's reassuring to see."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I have some sakura mochi. I was just about to prepare some tea to go with it—would you like to join me?"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"They have no control over whether they bloom, and yet they get made a spectacle of nonetheless... Oh, sorry—I was talking about the cherry blossoms."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"There are many different flowers growing in Hotarubi, but I think the wisteria are my favorites. This is the best time to see them, so you should take a walk around."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Hot today, isn't it? It's always raining in Hotarubi, so it does provide a little escape from the blazing summer sun, but... Ha ha. It is very humid, isn't it?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Summer makes me think of the ghost story Yotsuya Kaidan. The scene where Oiwa becomes hysterical, having realized her her face has been disfigured— incredible."

Yotsuya Kaidan is one of the best known japanese ghost stories! It's extremely violent, so read the summary at your discretion. The scene in question has Oiwa shown her reflection by her sister's boss to see that the cream she was given by a woman who was in love with her husband was actually some sort of poison that instantly scarred her face. She grabs a sword and goes to kill her, only for her to accidentally slit her own throat.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hotarubi House holds regular festivals during the summer months. If you need a yukata to wear, I'd be happy to pick one out for you."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I don't mind scary stories, but when that biwa in the tea room started playing by itself, it did make me jump a little..."

slight spoiler, although you can probably figure it out from this but. . .Zenji is a ghost. Subaru currently can't actually see him or hear his voice. . .only Haku, the pc, and, perhaps not so oddly, Towa can afair. All of his youtube content doesn't have him or his voice in it because he can't be recorded by cameras. So Subaru doesn't realize that the biwa playing on its own is actually Zenji playing the biwa.

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"The air has gotten crisper, and the leaves are changing color. I know it's only natural for the seasons to shift, so why does it make my heart ache so much?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh, these? They're some chestnuts I found. I know—I should give them to Sho. I'm sure he'll be able to make something delicious with them."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"That's another kuchikiri tea ceremony under my belt. It's an annual tradition where one cuts open a tea jar to reveal the tea that was preserved from the first harvest."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"On long autumn nights when the moon is shining beautifully in the sky, it's hard to resist taking a walk outside. Don't stay out until too late though, {PC}."

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"...Oh, {PC}. Good morning... I had a hard time getting up today. It must be the cold... Ha ha. Not very captain-like, is it?"

Jin, Taiga, and Ed are all prone to not getting out of bed. and Yuri falls asleep on operating tables when he has down time. Trust me Subaru you are perfectly captain-like.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Today, I'm going to order ingredients from one of my favorite stores so we can all make negima—tuna and scallion—hot pot together. Please, do join us."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"It's cold out today. I was just thinking about lighting the fire. Would you like to come and warm up with me?"

oh subaru you don't even know how that sounds

(between 8pm and 5am)

"People say winter makes you want to snuggle up with someone, but I find that a good blanket does a much better job."

i agree that blankets are much easier to manage than people lol. probably warmer too.

His birthday: (February 20th)

"A present? For me? Thank you... I didn't expect you to do anything for my birthday, so I'm a little caught off guard. I really appreciate it."

Your birthday:

"Um... Happy birthday.  I really hope this year will be a wonderful one for you."

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year. I hope I can depend on your guidance and support again this year."

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Chocolate? Oh, It's Valentine's Day, isn't it? Does that mean these are for me...?"

nah i just wanted you to look at them. YES THEY ARE FOR YOU BBY. why would you be showing him chocolate if it wasn't for him! On any day, not just valentine's day!!

White Day: (March 14th)

"These are for you, {PC}. I put in a special order for monaka from my favorite confectioner in Ginza. They're wafers filled with bean jam—I hope you like them."

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Earlier, Haku told me he was switching houses. It gave me a real shock— I'm very relieved that it wasn't true..."

i bet subaru made the most scared kicked puppy face and started apologizing for being such an awful captain and blamed himself for that haku would go to a different house and haku had to quickly explain it was just a prank for fear that subaru might burst into tears.

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Happy Halloween. I know it's nothing special, but I've prepared some treats for the occasion. Oh... But you're more than welcome to play a trick instead."

please don't trick him. april fool's day was hard enough for him.

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas. We already have our New Year decorations up in Hotarubi, so it has a real east-meets-west atmosphere now. I hope everyone is okay with it..."

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Everyone seems busy at the moment. Maybe I should use this opportunity to tidy the garden..."

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC}? Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I was just worried because you were so quiet..."

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"You're back... I'm so relieved. I was worried I'd done something to make you feel uncomfortable..."

this man shakes like a chihuahua 24/7. like you can taste the anxiety coming off of him. i love him. he's so pathetic(affectionate). i wanna squeeze his hand reassuringly and tell him everything's gonna be okay. i wanna hug him and pat his head. i wanna take him places so he learns more about the world outside of working. i wanna watch him do schoolwork excitedly because he's never really gone to school before and it's a new and exciting experience. i want him to experience the most mundane aspects of life with wonder.

good boy. yeah. get him anxiety meds /nodnod

[tibby]

i think it's partly bc of rerecording her albums and having fans love the vault tracks that she now feels she cant leave anything on the cutting room floor just in case

i definitely think that's part of it, but - and i say this as someone who likes a majority of the vault tracks - i think it was a good thing that they were initially left on the cutting room floor. including them originally would have detracted from what the albums were trying to say.

speak now and 1989 are the best examples of this. the point of speak now was two things: taylor wanting to prove she could do it on her own, and each song referencing a specific person or scenario. with the exception of when emma falls in love (the weakest of the lot imo) and castles crumbling (which has a feature), the SNTV vault tracks are more...vague in who/what they're about. and sure, if they'd been released on the original album with the secret messages we might have more context, but that isn't something we can say for certain. speak now is the only album that's about multiple people and we can pinpoint who or what each song is referencing (except maybe sparks fly which was included for the fans, and haunted but that could be because i've never cared enough to investigate if it's about john or joe).

as for 1989, i think the vault tracks are definitely stronger than some of the songs that made the cut (as much as i love WTNY and HYGTG, they're not her best work), but i don't think they would have fit into the story she was trying to tell. whether taylor successfully made an album that is about independence and not love is up for debate, but she claims that was her intention. IION and say don't go aren't great fits for that story, especially since it was one she was trying to tell within the secret messages.

i think red's biggest problem is that it was already too long of an album (which is also part of speak now's problem). i think the red vault tracks fit the theme of all the varying degrees of love, but red TV clocks out at over two hours. it's possible that forever winter in particular was too raw a song to release at the time (has she played it live yet? i haven't kept up with eras tour that much).

and while i love the fearless vault tracks, i do wonder if including them would have earned it less acclaim. they're good songs, but fearless is by far her most polished album imo. even the deluxe tracks, which i also adore, kinda take away from how well rounded the standard album is. it's very possible it's only capped at 13 tracks because cds back then could only hold so much, but i also think that it was a better decision for the marketing of the album itself.

but now, with ttpd and the eight million versions of midnights, it's harder to find the good shit because it's surrounded by so much filler. and yeah, part of it is that some of the songs on those albums are just...not good (bejeweled my deepest enemy), but i think a culling would have greatly benefitted them. ESPECIALLY with ttpd. taylor's always been songwriter who releases stuff that could be diary entries, but at least before it was like...you at least edited this. now it just seems like we're getting every single journal entry as is. and it's tiring. 31 songs is too much. hell, 16 songs for lover was too much.

ultimately i think it comes down to the fact that she no longer gets any push back from the people she works with, and fans are both willing to accept quantity over quality and (for many swifties, but not all) there's just a refusal to criticise her work at all. and i think taylor's desire to constantly release new content (which i think is a combination of a constant need for relevancy combined with the fact she's always writing) combined with being surrounded by yes men and adoring fans is impacting her work negatively. which has been the case since lover if not earlier, but i think midnights/ttpd are her most glaring examples of it.

anyway lmao sorry this got long. sorry for never being on here and then finally showing up to have opinions about taylor swift. do you guys still think i'm hot.

[farty-city]

inside bo burnham review no one asked for

i enjoy other peoples commentary and i was writing down my first thoughts anyway so here it is

inside

first song/intro song

i like the phone screen on him, very reflective of how we have had phone screens on us

“roberts been a little depressed” osnskjdnfs

they were right “daddys made you some content so open wide” hjbfafn

intro

oh my god he looks awful

but like in a cute way

maybe

healing the world with comedy (second song)

the canned and queued laugher no exactly… is it a symbol or is it just funny.. who's to say. 

it think its a good first song, establishing he knows what he is doing is kind of useless 

“the indescribable power of your comedy”

he looks like marc maron rn

i like the synthed voice and synthesizer

the jesus allusion … yeah

“i'm a special kind of white guy”

this feels like he knows how he is perceived by fans.. Make happy was too much

his fucking dancing fksjdnfksj

i think he did a good job looking manic

the lasers lmao

Side 1

Bo made a huge gamble releasing this like,,, what if you just stumbled upon it and this was ur first introduction to him..

I bet its like when i comment dumb things on instagram comments and get that rush of hehehehe

NO NOT BO DEVELOPING BILLIE EILLISH VOWELS

Also this is exactly what he wanted like,, he just wanted to make his things and not deal with the crowds so..

To think i was like finding scraps of him performing at largo and stuff and now,, so much content

life imitates art

the way he's literally what he wrote hgbkdf

there is no authenticity with cameras

suicide ?

 facetime with my mom tonight

the blue light.. Yeah

o hblue like sad

i don't know how i feel about the electric music but i guess its no different than whatever else i listen to

this is sad wow

still catchy etc

side 2

i wonder if here will be any fart jokes

that is how the world works (songs)

the huge mess and then him in a sweater

this is reminiscent of that walmart muppets

he became tim minchin with a sock puppet

the “yes… yes sir” stoppp 

jkgdsnfijwkensfosnf

qbejfnjne

nerjgnoejns

bo making a political statement and a metaphor for activism and then making it weirdly kinky

brand consultant (bit)

man bun

i have to believe he filmed it with the beard because quarantine vibes and also bc he was tired of being seen as a child

white womans instagram (song)

i did not like that intro

BO AND GLASSES THANK GOD

the daisies wow just wow

underwear

“white womans instagram” or “bo burnham becomes a girlboss”

i like that he didn't lose his cadence like the way the rhymes are you can still tell its him

i don't get the mom part sorry

is it like how people are very superficial but also very personal on their instagrams

this part was legit sad

side 3

i wonder how he felt with cameras constantly on him

Although this is the point hes trying to make

lol seinfeld moment (bit)

unpaid intern (bit and song)

“barely people somehow legal” was so smooth woW

omg he was scatting

he was a man who would scat

oh my god what great news

the react clip omg

i cant believe he did that oh my god

observation/critisism and response to the “can anyone shut the fuck up” 

and as i realized what he was doing he was like “i have this need for everything i make to have a deeper meaning” oh my god

now the question is how long will this go on?

jeffrey bezos (song)

idk its catchy

and then theres him like sleeping and talking which kind of is part of the jeff bezos song

bug eyes salamanders hehe

sexting (song)

i do believe this is just a silly song 

the earrings tho omg

sounds like post malone hbkjdsnfskj

idk its still about like intimacy in quarantine and that stuff..

the knife (bit)

i know hes copying like other youtubers but like,,, what

stuck in a room (song)

the intro is very funny and relatable

classic bo i love it 

i will say this special has been more reflective but i suppose it has to be

“look whos inside again”

i like the end too, this is all a fabrication

this is the clip where hes staring at the projection of himself from his old youtube videos which is sort of more like an ending to the “stuck in my room” song

 sorry (song)

i love the 80’s style music and its like zumba

oh this is like an apology song

“father please forgive me for i did not realise what i did, or that id live to regret it” what a catchy line

i would say this is another more “classic” bo song where its self aware and funny

“my closet it chalk full of stuff that is vaguely shitty” 

camera falling

this deserves its own bullet because its silly

i'm turning 30 (bit and song)

i remember him talking about this on a podcast and like,, damn i didn't know this also happened LOL

i really like how he did the lighting 

“stupid fucking ugly boring children”

suicide talk (1)

this is interesting i like the use of the projection

this is something that could never have happened onstage

just like with the it being projected on him

i guess it could but it would have to be done differently and probably hed have to make it funnier to make it more engaging

intermission

i just checked this is about the halfway point.. Mh

i don't wanna know (song)

“i thought it’d be over by now”

i wish this was longer but i kind of like how its just a little snippet and then the cut

video game (bit)

“i guess i’ll cry again”

“is the dude big or is the room small” lol

hm depression

 feelin like shit (song)

ohh the lighting is fun again

this is the tone shift i suppose

the feels like supalonely and the new kind of music

atl

:(

panic attack 

everything all of the time (song)

feels like brandon rogers 

i enjoy this

this feels like “welcome to youtube” grew up

“a little bit of everything all of the time”

“apathys a tragedy and boredoms a crime”

ok olivia rodrigo

finishing the special (bit)

these feel like diary entries but as standup

interesting choice

jeffery bezos (2)

Why the seaweed suit

Where did he get that

the digital space (bit)

suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface

damn

pirate map anfdkjfnskjd

this was so stupid (affectonate)

that funny feeling (song)

the campfire vibes 

kenny loggins

i don't get it..

is it about childhood, is it about the present?

i think its talking about the end of content? 

“the end of culture”, to quote make happy

change and not liking it 

“we were overdue, but it will be over soon”

if the second half of the special is like a panic attack this song is like a momentary pause before it gets worse

“so ive been working on this special”/breakdown 

this was .. uncomfortable and genuine which i'm sure is why he kept it

all eyes on me (song/rant)

another sad thing to watch.. damn

me trying to tell if the audio was from make happy

i think he was trying to make it as if the audio was from make happy 

this feels.. familiar

and obviously that is the point

“come on in the waters fine”

the use of autotune during the talking part... yeah

sad that he was gonna make another special… and it would have been totally different than this

i’ve decided i like the homage to make happy

It feels like hes made peace with it

the montage of him waking up and the “i think i'm done”

and then of course the ending where he's watching it over to remind us that its all fabricated

possible ending song/ “i promise to never go outside again”

ngl he looks good in the shirt with the haircut hehe

which i feel like is what he wants up to notice

and then like not think after we saw all his breakdowns

“i want to hear you tell a joke when no ones laughing in the background”

i really like the medley

Final thoughts

I want a blooper reel, but this doesn't seem like the kind of special

I also wonder if the songs will be on like apple music, but again, doesn't seem like the kind of special

I'm happy for him, he got to be honest and open and show us the sort of panicky stuff

this self aware comedy is exactly the stuff that i think will be making a comeback in the next decade.  John better be pulling up with more deconstructed comedy. 

I hope this has given him peace

[lupinsx]

Stay With Me

masterlist

Request: hi!! i really loved your first fic!!😙 i was wondering if you could write one where the reader is a slytherin, and she’s like pretty good friends with draco. she gets an owl one day with some bad news about her family (you can decide what lmao) and she acts like she’s ok at first but she leaves the great hall rly early while draco watches and he goes to help. you can choose how it ends hehe

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: Y/N and Draco are the best of friends. When Y/N hears news that will change her life, it’s up to him to help save her from her grief.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Mentions of death (nothing graphic though).

a/n — Thank you for requesting! I hope I did justice to this prompt lol.

——————————

For a moment, everything was nice.

It was late in the evening, and the Slytherin common room would be deserted if it wasn’t for you and Draco occupying the space. He sat lazily on the mossy coloured couch while you sat next to him horizontally with your legs draped over his lap, your back leaned against the armrest. The closeness between you two was almost second nature, being too overdone for it to be given another thought.

It was comfortable, that’s all. Just normal behaviour between friends.

Or at least, that’s what you say to yourself.

“And that damn bludger almost knocked my head off near the end! It was a miracle I managed to duck on time,” Draco beamed, using hand gestures as he spoke to walk you through the events. Earlier that day, Slytherin won a Quidditch match against Ravenclaw, and Draco couldn’t be more ecstatic. You nodded your head in agreement as you kept your head low, focusing on the essay on your lap which needed to be completed.

With a boastful smile stretched across his face, he continued, “It was an amazing catch! The Ravenclaw seeker got close to the snitch, but I was clearly faster.”

It was silent for a moment as Draco waited for a response. You were too engrossed in the Transfiguration assignment in front of you that you almost forgot he was there, but a hand waved in front of your face brought you back to reality. Putting away the parchment with a sheepish grin, you turned your attention towards him.

“Sorry, I was finishing up my paragraph. But yes, you were amazing out there. I watched the whole thing, remember?”

His face reddened slightly at your praise, but you failed to notice under the dim candlelit lighting. Suddenly, a realization hit you; Christmas break would be approaching very soon. The mere thought warmed you like a nearby fire, and you found yourself getting giddy at the thought.

“Draco! Christmas break is in one more week. Can you believe it?” you asked, eyes wide in excitement like a child receiving candy. He nodded vaguely, unable to show much happiness at the matter.

You found immense joy at the idea of Christmas. While your half-blood and pureblood parents are comparable to a nasty old Grinch, your muggle grandmother makes the holidays entirely bearable. She frequently bakes with you, blasts old Christmas tunes whenever your parents are away, and puts on heartwarming films to enjoy together every night and morning.

These little traditions are practically the only reason you enjoy coming home. Your parents are strong upholders of the snotty rich family stereotype most Slytherins seem to bear, but having someone at your house who loves you for you and not your possible potential makes you extremely grateful.

Unfortunately, your best friend didn’t have that same luck. Draco’s parents are to a similar degree of cruelty as yours, but the lack of comforting adult figures at his house makes him loathe coming home for the break more so than you would.

It was only the prospect of seeing you after it what made him survive throughout the holiday season.

Frowning at his sudden quietness, you grabbed his hand and gave it a small squeeze. Your lips stretched into a comforting smile, not knowing what else to say to ease his mind.

He gave you a reassuring glance in response, and all was quiet for a moment. Merely the delicate crackle coming from the fireplace was heard as you unknowingly kept his hand in yours. After a minute’s time, you pulled your arm back and swung your legs off his lap.

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” you said, dragging him up by his arm. He chuckled at your slight manhandling of him as you picked up your essay and waved goodbye to him. You then headed to the girls dormitory, while he went the opposite way.

That night, memories of candy canes, gingerbread houses, and the Home Alone series occupied your thoughts, leaving you in a blissful dreamland for the remainder of the night.

~~~

The next morning, you found yourself being awoken by the loud shuffling of feet outside your door. Judging by the streams of light pouring through your drapes, you knew it was time to get up.

Your morning routine didn’t take longer than 15 minutes. Once you deemed yourself ready for the day, you headed to the common room, only to see Draco leaning boredly against the portrait hole. Upon seeing you, amusement flickered briefly in his eyes.

“Race you to the Great Hall,” he spoke quickly, breaking out into a sprint before you could even respond. With a small groan and a grin threatening to spread across your mouth, you ran after the platinum haired boy.

Typical Draco, you thought. When will I ever catch a break.

Although his long legs and early exit gave him a lengthy advantage, you managed to catch up to him considerably fast, and you two crashed into the Slytherin table at nearly same time. An airy chuckle escaped his lips as you panted heavily, taking a seat as well as a large gulp of water. The pair quickly received eyes on them for their abrupt entry, but all stares were disregarded upon the sight of food in front of you.

You licked your lips in delight and swiftly reached for the French toast, ignoring the loud entrance of owls delivering the morning mail. You almost didn’t notice one approach your table, and certainly not when it swooped next to your head, but a small tap on your shoulder redirected your attention to the letter laid in front of you.

Curiously enough, you weren’t even expecting any mail.

“Who’s it from?” asked Draco nonchalantly as he scarfed down his scrambled eggs. You shrugged your shoulders and picked up the letter, impatiently unwrapping it without paying mind to front cover.

Dear Y/N L/N,

I hope you’re currently studying for exams or completing your coursework. Remember, I expect nothing less than Outstandings in every class.

Of course. Typical of mom to start off a letter addressing grades. No ‘Hello my daughter’ or anything.

I’m sending this letter to tell you that your grandmother has passed away. It was inevitable, really. She was getting quite old. But the burial was last Wednesday, so that’s done and over with. Our annual Christmas and New Year’s parties will resume as normal, so don’t you worry. Anyways, resume your studying.

Yours Truly,

Mrs L/N

Grandma… is dead?

Your knuckles gripped tightly onto the paper, your eyes skimming through it again and again to confirm you read it accurately. Eventually, the tears developing prevented you from seeing it clearly, and you simply crumpled up the letter and shoved it in your robe’s pocket.

You were alone now. All alone.

It took a minute for you to digest the information. You sat silently, making no effort to pick up your fork or look up from your lap. You couldn’t believe she was really gone from your life. It seemed like it was almost yesterday when you two were belting out Jingle Bells while icing sugar cookies.

And now, she was gone, just like that.

Standing up from your spot, you looked up to the ceiling to quickly diminish the water in your eyes. Once relatively dried, you faced Draco, who stared up at you with concern lacing his features. He was no longer focused on the meal in front of him, nor the conversations going on around him.

Forcing a small smile on your face, you croaked, “I’m feeling a little full. Just going to get some fresh air.” Without letting him reply, you rushed out of the Great Hall. Your jaw was clenched to prevent you from sobbing immediately as you ran out the doors and towards the Black Lake.

Soon, you found the spot under a tree which you had always claimed to be your own. It had the perfect view of the lake in front, so you often came here to de-stress, study, or simply hang out with Draco. Today, however, it was used as your crying corner, away from the eyes of your peers and noise of people chatting nearby. It was secluded.

And perhaps, that level of isolation was exactly what you needed to break down.

So, you cried. And cried. You sobbed louder than a newborn baby, and produced more tears within a minute than you have done within a year. You were grieving for the only adult figure in your life you ever found solace in.

What felt like hours of misery turned out to be mere minutes, which was soon interrupted by a figure dropping down next to you and pulling you to their chest. Although the puffiness of your eyelids and tears pooling above it blocked your vision, the smell of cedar wood and vanilla made you well aware of Draco’s presence. He cradled your upper body as you cried into his chest, gripping onto his shirt in tight fists.

“Draco, s-she — my grandma, she’s g-gone,” you hiccuped between your words. He didn’t respond, simply brushing the hair from your face and rubbing your back while trying to hush your cries.

It took a long while, but eventually, the tears had ceased and the whimpers were quiet and minimal. You simply took in Draco’s scent as he protectively held you. Upon noticing your silence, he finally broke the silence.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. You don’t deserve this.”

You released a pathetic chuckle, eyes looking empty as you dismiss the last part. “But it still happened. And now, I’m all alone.”

Immediately, Draco pulled you from his chest, keeping you in his arms but now facing him. He stared into your eyes with an unreadable expression and carefully remarked, “You are not alone. I’m here for you. Always.”

His response left you with a small grin tugging on your lips. You felt grateful to have a friend like him in your life, putting up with you no matter the circumstance. But as quickly as the thought came, it was replaced with the looming reality of what’s to come next week. You would have to come home for Christmas and endure constant neglect and judgement from your parents. Fear washed over your face in an instant as your eyebrows furrowed in worry.

Noticing the change of expression, he moved his hand to your jaw to hold the side of your face. “Hey, hey, what’s the matter now love?”

“I’m gonna have to come home for Christmas,” you spoke with quivering lips and a shaky tone. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes once more, but Draco caught each one and wiped them from your cheek with delicate strokes of his finger.

“No, Y/N, you won’t. Not this year, at least. You can come with me to my house, or I can stay with you at Hogwarts. Either way, I am not leaving you alone.”

“Y-you’ll stay with me?” you asked tentatively. You and him both knew how much you needed him at a time like this, but his understanding without your spoken words left you feeling a certain type of admiration for the boy.

Just as you did yesterday, Draco squeezed your hand in a reassuring manner before mumbling, “Of course I will.”

He then left a gentle kiss on your forehead, spreading warmth to every corner of your body. “I promise, Y/N. I won’t leave you. Not now, not later, not ever. I will always stick by your side.”

——————————

a/n — I had lots of fun writing this, despite it currently being an ungodly hour. Thank you again for requesting and let me know what you think!

[knightsimp]

Consequences (Part One)

Pairing: Ulfric Stormcloak x Dragonborn!Reader

Summery: You were Ulfric’s lover before the war started, but the war seemed to have turned him into someone different from the man you fell in love with.

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1,000+

Part: 1/2

Date Posted: March 17, 2020

Note: This fic starts before the events of Skyrim, when Ulfric killed the High King. And for the sake of this fic, the reader has a neutral stance in the war.

Another note: Me? Writing for Ulfric Stormcloak first and not Farkas? Who knew this was a reality.

Ulfric watched you pace as he leaned onto the backrest of his throne. 

“To kill the High King with the Voice... Ulfric you’ve taken this too far!”  Ulfric sighed, annoyed by your rambling.

“(Y.N), please.” He held his head in his hand. “This was a victory!”

“This was a stupid move!” Ulfric stood as you quickly approached him. “All of Skyrim will be speaking of this and you may have started a war with Cyrodiil!”

“Good!” Ulfric knew he was yelling now, but his pride kept him from calming down. “Let the people of Skyrim know that I, Ulfric Stormcloak, was the one who killed the High King with my mere voice! Let those damn Imperials know the power I hold.” Those in the throne room besides the fighting couple did not know what to do. 

“This damn war is getting out of hand!” You yelled back. “Do you not see what you’ve done in the grand scheme of this land?”

“For someone who is supposed to be on my side, you seem to sympathize with those filthy Imperials.” Your eyes widened, the rage inside you visibly growing, and you said,

“Be careful, Ulfric.” You voice was heavy. “Be careful with what you’re implying.”

“Or what?” He knew he had gone too far, but nothing was stopping him. “You’ll go running to the High King. Oh wait, he’s dead!” Not wanting to be there in the heavy air any longer, you scoffed and turned away sharply towards your shared bedroom. After hearing the heavy metal door slam, Ulfric slumped back down on his throne and let out the breath he did not know he was holding. Galmar took the chance to approach him.

“I’’m sorry, Ulfric, but we need to plan our next move. With the empire in shambles with the death of their king, we need to take this to our advantage.” Ulfric looked up at him. Though he tried to hide it, Galmar could tell he also felt the impact of that fight. Ulfric stood, needing a distraction.

“Alright.” He grumbled. 

----

It was late at night. The sun had set hours ago. Ulfric made his was to his bedroom, wanting only to sleep.

He did feel bad. While you were there, hiding from everyone, probably questioning his love for you, he chose to plan the Stormcloaks’ next move. He was thinking of the bigger picture. In his mind, once the Stormcloaks win the war, you two would be able to relax and enjoy life in Skyrim a little more. No more would you need to chase after him and he would no longer have to be so urgent about what to do next. 

He entered the bedroom. There were no candles lit. He assumed you had fallen asleep.

“Love?” He mumbled, only loud enough for you to hear. He approached the bed and, in the pale moonlight, he could see you were not in bed. Slightly panicking, he took the candle on the small desk, next to the dress, and lit it. He then used the flame to light the candles which stood next to the large bed. With more light filling the room, he could see no sign of you. “(Y/N)? (Y/N)!” He walked out and went up to the guard on duty in the corridor. “Where is my wife?” The guard thought for a moment.

“I am not sure, sire.” He replied. “I have not seen her leave her bedroom after...” The guard was too afraid to apeak of that afternoon’s occurence, but Ulfric understood. 

Ulfric wandered the halls with a fast pace, trying to find any sign of you. From those who he asked, no one had seen you. 

You could not have sneaked out. 

Could you?

You would have not left undetected. Did you leave him? Was the fight you had in the throne room the final straw for you? Surely, you knew it was a momentary thing. You had your fights before, but it would always end with you in his arms. 

Quickly, he sped back to your bedroom, and realized the details he missed were the details of which were not there anymore. Your belongings were gone. Ulfric opened the wardrobe and found some, but not all, of your clothing gone. He notice how it was just enough for you to leave and be able to travel light. 

Ulfric was unable to fathom the thought of you leaving. He sat on his bed, on your side, thinking of what was happening. He leaned back on his hands, but felt something under the green covers. He lifted the blanket and found your journal. A page was marked by a dry quill. Ulfric brought his leg onto the bed and opened the leather book. The page which was saved was today’s entry.

I can’t stand it anymore. He read, hearing your voice as his eyes skimmed over the words. I love Ulfric. I love him with all of my heart, but this war is too much for us. I want to be with him and stand by his side, but my heart can’t take the violence any longer. In a war where I don’t pledge my allegiance to a side, even when I am married to the leader of the Stormclocks, there is too much for me. I plan to leave. Ulfric’s heart sank deeper. Not forever, but long enough for there things to calm down and for Skyrim to move past the death of the High King. I don’t know where I’ll go, but I want to leave Skyrim. But who knows? If I find a better life elsewhere, nothing is forcing me to come home to the chaos of Skyrim. I will miss Ulfric, no matter what I chose.

Whether you forgot your notebook or left it for him to read, he will never know.

One part of him wanted to be relieved that you did not plan to leave forever and you did plan on coming back, but the other part of him was louder and told him that you may never come back. Tamriel was not a safe world. The loneliness was setting in for him. Recalling the fight you had earlier in the day and all the other fights you have had, the stress you have had to endure due to his role in the war, he had a feeling you were not coming back.

---

There is a part two I am working on! This is not the end! However, I don’t know if I want a happy ending or a sad ending.

Also, I actually went into Ulfric’s bedroom to see what it looks like for this fic lmao.

[unohanadaydreams]

Happy birthday @tuliharja​! Last night I was deciding whether to answer thirst posts, hovered over yours, and saw today’s date for you b-day in your bio. I guess consider it payback for tagging me in that post, that one time haha?

May this humble offering of hurt/comfort be sufficient. I wrote and edited it all today so if my not-so-fresh eyes missed mistakes pls forgive me lmao.

so close and yet so far from death [1k+ words]

Jushiro Ukitake:

Falling to her knees, Kiyone pressed her blubbering face against the thin door. “He won’t tell us! Not a thing,” she said, like she was struggling to contain a sob.

Sentaro’s arms circling around her waist, he tugged her to a stand.

“We tried our best.” Despite his eyes holding yours, it seemed more a reassurance for the down trodden Kiyone leaning against him.

Your smile was soft when it lifted.

When had they ever failed at keeping their captain first in their hearts and minds?

 “Of course, you did,” you said, trying to infuse your thanks into a tender tone. “Thank you for your efforts.”

Relieving them from their post with a squeeze to Sentaro’s shoulder and a ruffle of Kiyone’s hair, you pressed on.

And immediately crouched to the floor, your fingers smoothing over the warm knit blanket tossed in the entry way, your heart squeezing.

Oh, Jushiro.

You smothered your face in the blanket. Breathed in his scent. Desperate to collect yourself with arms full of buttery soft yarn. You waited, crouched and tense, for the knot of tears that pricked at your throat to loosen and dissolve away.

The growing sadness only made the tears spill. How hypocritical of you--wishing  Jushiro would see more than pity in your actions, while you paused here…pitying you both.

With a soft determination, you nodded, brushed tears from warm cheeks.

“Right!” Using the momentum of your renewed hope, you hoisted yourself up, wrapped the blanket around your shoulders, and toed off both your sandals. Your thoughts of ‘poor Jushiro’ left in the doorway with them.

The blanket hugged you, warm and comfortable as you padded across the tatami mat to the backyard. You might have paused longer without the yarn-spun shield--near dead, with Fall smoothly moving to embrace Winter, the garden looked unwelcoming.

The chill of stepping outside slapped at your exposed face in uneven bursts of wind, but you persisted, fingers foisted in the blanket.

You seemed to spot him all at once, as though the slump of his frame had camouflaged him. His bleak mood folding him into the similarly blanched surroundings.

He was without his captain’s coat. The thin, faded kimono he often wore to bed was all that shielded him from the wind’s bite. Strands of his long, bone white hair lifted, like the wind was a mouth, tugging.

You kept your feet steady despite the worry, unsure if the deep concern you felt would cause him to flee; a deer bolting at the first crunch of underbrush.

“Jushiro,” you said. Your voice tensed his shoulders, caused his head to jump as though roused from thought.

Your arms de-tangled from the wool and draped it over his shoulders before you sank beside him. “Your lieutenants are sulking like puppies, you know.”

“Hm. They should be used to it by now,” he said in a melancholy tone that you struggled to hear. Jushiro never spoke about the silly tag team who constantly trailed him like that.

‘Patience be damned,’ you thought. Groaning loud and forceful you smacked your cold hands against your equally frost licked cheeks. “I can’t do it!”

Jushiro finally turned to you, eyebrows raised.

“I can’t stand seeing you so down on yourself,” you carried on, the steam of your outrage warming you, causing your breath to puff in white clouds. “And I’m not leaving until you talk to me!”

He winced, a bitter twist raising his lips at the sight of your hand grabbing for his. “I couldn’t get through the proposal.”

“It was just bad timing.”

His gaze retreated, moving to track flashing scales of sluggish, well-fed koi instead.

“Yes, exactly,” Jushiro croaked. “What if it’s always bad timing? Will you be so understanding when it’s our wedding day that I’m coughing up blood at?”

Your hand tightened around his, rubbing at his pale, thin fingers. “Of course,” you said, trying to contain your frustration. “Jushiro, I love you. I love all of you. Not just when you’re healthy or when life is easy.”

His dark brown eyes met yours for a breathless moment before his hand squeezed back and he laced your fingers together. “You deserve someone like that, -chan. Someone healthy. Who makes life easy.”

You couldn’t have shaken your head with anymore force, wishing you could smash your forehead against his and force every ounce of your feelings through his thick skull. Jushiro’s determination to upend your point tightened your throat.

“No,” you said, voice quivering in frustration. “I deserve the man who proposed to me because he loves me so much he wants to spend his life with me!! I--”

His arms were tugging at your back before you could speak further. Your deep, shuddering breath sucked the cotton fabric against his chest to your lips as you began to cry in earnest.

There was nothing to do but say it once more--”I love you, Jushiro. I do.”

“Oh,” he said, so mournful in his regret. “My dear.”

“Am I?,” you sobbed. “Then why can’t I be your wife, too?”

His hair tickled at your ears as it cascaded over you, his chin sharp against your scalp. “You are--oh, you are.”

He called your name, then again, and again, each utterance more bare than the last. “It’s just like me to forget how far pride forces you from others, isn’t it.”

Jushiro’s lips pressed to the top of your head, the chill of his own tears pooling between the kiss. The proof of his hurt did nothing to satisfy you. But your crying slowed, your arms hugging him, hands meeting behind his shaking back.

“Yes, but you understand now, don’t you? You’re not a sickness I need shielded from.”

Arms almost crushing, he held you tightly, for long minutes that were marked only by soft crying and whistling wind. “Thank you,” he managed after his body had grown steady.

Your tears wet his kimono in a warm pool of relief as he rubbed firm circles against your back. Your hands clutch at his sides, pressing to feel the warm of his body.

“Forgive me, please. I’m just so used to...”--Jushiro grappled for words and you waited for him to wrestle the correct ones down--”keeping it hidden. Only being sick behind closed doors, away from everyone, and coming back when it’s through. There doesn’t seem to be any room for that kind of separation in marriage.”

“No,” you agreed. “I wouldn’t want there to be.”

Tentative, almost too low for you to hear anything but the vibration of his chest, he said, “I don’t want it to be that way either.”

“So, if you understand” you sniffle, muffled by fabric and skin and salty tears, failing at light-hearted. “Are we still getting married?”

Jushiro pushed at your shoulders until you felt the wind drying your tears in a cruel chill. His thin hands cupped your face, thumbs swiping at the damp tracks trailing your cheeks. You did the same for him. “-chan,” he sighed, tender and reassuring. “Would you marry a silly man like me? Through all my sickness and little bits of health?”

Puffs of visible warmth formed between your faces as you chuckled in pathetic, wet hiccups. “Yes. For the second time, yes.”

Jushiro relaxed fully in one large breath as he leaned forward to kiss you, both of you unbothered by the mingling tears wetting your faces or the briny taste of them shared between your tongues.

His hands cradled your back and pressed you fully against him as he deepened the kiss, his head canting to the side. The blanket fell from his shoulders. Tumbling from your reach as you locked your arms around his neck.

Your lips detached from Jushiro’s as a thump sounded from the porch, Shunsui’s voice registering seconds after.

“Well, what did I say, you two?”

Quick enough to bring spots to your eyes, you turned to see Sentaro’s body lying prone against the wood, his fingers shielding a blushed face. Both he and Kiyone looked mortified, yet unable to look away as Shunsui glided toward you.

“C-captain we-we just,” Kiyone said, her teeth chattering in anxiety as she squashed her face with clutching hands, fingers wide enough to allow her eyes an unobstructed view.

“We came to celebrate the newlyweds,” Shunsui interrupted, smoothly raising a large, elegantly decorated bottle of unopened sake. “But don’t let us interrupt you just yet. Sake’s always sweeter with a view, after all. And something tells me it was just getting good.”

Jushiro inhaled deeply as he hugged you close again, but his brown eyes were light, twinkling with humor. “I should thank you to keep that particular gaze away from my future wife.”

Freeing your head with a twist, you eyed Shunsui with a dramatized sniff, your own arms tight around Jushiro’s body. “Sorry, but that was the end of whatever show you were hoping for!”

Shunsui flopped boneless to the porch. With a wink, he began pouring booze into large drinking saucers and you couldn’t help but grin. “Maaa. Just my luck.”

“We’ll be going now, captain!” Kiyone bowed dramatically, tugging at Sentaro’s uniform with enough force to tug it loose from his obi, as she backed away. “We’re so happy for you!”

“Congratulations, captain! I’m the happiest I’ve ever BEEN for you!”

“Everyone’s going to be so excited!!”

“Kiyone! How dare you?! I would NEVER spread this information without our captain’s permission!”

“Wha--no! Captain, I meant when they find out! I would hate even MORE to spread your private information around.”

Your laughter warmed everything inside you. Jushiro’s arms holding you helping just as much.

Thanking them, you and he dismissed them with fond smiles that they took with them, their bickering explosive with relief.

As Jushiro pressed his lips to your cheek and led you to the porch, you were glad for both his and Shunsui’s hand helping you to kneel. Your soul felt so light, without them, you’d surely float away.

[saintlavrents]

Forever [h.o]

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x Reader

Warning(s): Fluff

Prompt: “Your hair keeps falling into your eyes, do you know that? Here, lemme just-“

Summary: This is where it all started.

Words: 1,072

A/N: im back with yet another haz fic ((im in a deep hole of haz feels ok)) for my entry to @hollandsosterfield and @spidey-caps‘s writing challenge. happy belated birthday! sorry that this is so late ((school still sucks lmao and its been taking up most of my time and energy)) and sorry if this is kinda bad lmao bc I haven't been writing any fluffs and am still in a v angsty mood so yeah. enjoy?

Harrison walked out of the on-campus coffee shop with two cups of iced coffee in his hands. He walked over to the art room in the west wing of the campus, with a strap of his bag slung over one of his shoulders. He stopped on the doorway of the art room, which only had her in it, deeply engrossed in yet again another one of her painting.

He couldn’t help but admire how cute she looked whilst focusing on the canvas and barely even noticing his presence. Her hands were covered in different colors and shades of paint. Some even got to her arms, neck, cheek and even her hair.

“Coffee?” His words tore her attention away from the canvas and on to him.

“Yes, please. Thank god.” She threw her head back, in an attempt to stretch her neck after hours of looking at the canvas.

He walked over to one of the tables in the room and placed one of the cups he brought on it, along with his bag and took the coffee he got for her over to her. He pushed the straw towards her, enabling her to take a sip without having to touch the cup with her paint-littered hands.

“Much better. Thanks.” She smiled at him.

“No problem.” He placed the cup on a stool behind her and went back to sipping on his iced coffee.

She was struggling to keep her hair out of her face and away from the paint, as they were untied and had gotten untucked from behind her ears. She kept on flipping her hair, whilst moving the brush in her hand, just to keep it away.

“Your hair keeps falling into your eyes, do you know that? Here, lemme just-“ He said as he ties her hair with the scrunchie he somehow pulled out of his bag, causing her to pause the moving brush in her hand and give him a weird look.

“So, you just carry a scrunchie around, huh?”

“How could I not when you’re always having hair all over your face when you’re painting?”

“Fair enough.” She shrugged and continued moving the paint-covered brush over the canvas.

“Plus, I couldn’t possibly look at your beautiful face if it’s covered up.” He smirked.

She raised her palm, which was covered with blue paint, “Don’t make me get this all over your white shirt.”

He laughed and retreated to lean on the wall next to the table he put his bag on and pulled out his phone, mindlessly scrolled through his Instagram feeds and replied to a few texts, whilst looking at her once in a while when she’s not looking.

But soon minutes, turned to hours and there was nothing more to do with his phone, so he slid it back into his jeans pocket and decided to fixate his attention onto the girl scrunching her face at the canvas. He, soon, found himself smiling lightly as he’s looking at her, admiring her beauty and her dedication to her art.

It wasn’t a secret when it comes to his feelings for her. Everyone around the pair definitely knew of it, except for her. If it wasn’t for her obliviousness, she would have noticed the heart eyes he’s always looked at her with.

Harrison soon fell into the pits of his thoughts, overthinking on the feelings he has for her and trying to come up with a way to tell her how he feels and, possibly, even ask her out.

“Quit staring.” Her word snapped him out of his thoughts.

“I wasn’t staring at you. I was staring at the wall.” He poked his tongue from between his lips, jokingly.

“I never said you were staring at me.”

He huffs, “Fine. I’m bored, okay? How much longer will you take?”

“Hey, you offered me to come with you to Elysia’s birthday.” She raises her hands in defense.

“I didn’t know I had to wait for you for two hours! What are you working on, anyway? Let me see it.” He marched over to her in an attempt to sneak a peek of the painting she had been doing ever since he got there.

“No!” She said, trying to cover the canvas with her body, shielding it away from him.

“Oh, c’mon, Y/N. You can’t make me wait here for you and not see what you’ve been working on.”

“It’s almost done. You can see it when it’s done.”

“Fine.” He was about to go back to where he was sitting earlier but didn’t when he saw one of the paint tubes oozing out yellow paint. He took the paint in his fingers, walked on back over to her and smeared it over her right cheek, mischief glinting in his eyes.

She felt the cold paint on her cheeks and yelped, “Harrison!”

He laughed and she stood up from her stool to chase him with her paint-covered palms, trying to get revenge. As an artist, she definitely lacks exercise so at one point she stopped chasing him around the room as she bends over, placed both her hands on her kneecap and pants heavily.

“Okay, that’s enough.” She breathed out.

“Okay.” He responded, stopping his tracks and walking over to her, still smiling with mischief.

She stood up, a few feet shorter than his towering figure. And looks up at him, at that damn ocean eyes. And in that moment, he swore he’s never wanted to kiss her so badly. He keeps on flicking his gaze from her eyes to her lips. She tugged the corner of her lips to form a small smile and leaned in on her tippy toes to plant a kiss on his lips.

His eyes went wide, clearly surprised at what she just did, but he then leaned back in and gave her a proper kiss, this time shutting his eyes, only opening them once again when he felt a cold liquid smeared onto his cheek. He pulled away to her smiling widely.

“I win.”

“That was pretty much how it all started. And now, four years later, we’re here celebrating the love they have for one another. Let’s raise our glass to the bride and groom.” Tom finished his best man speech and raised his glass along with the other guests, whilst Harrison and Y/N smiled at each other lovingly and connected their lips once more.

“To now and forever more to come!”

tagging: @hollandsosterfield, @spidey-caps, @revenantwriting, @miraclesoflove

[stupidlittlejournalentries]

April 5th, 2020 (continued)

The memories are good though, they really are. So here’s what I remember:

I remember watching The Prestige with Abby over and I realized you wouldn’t lean into me in fact you would actively pull away, but once she left and it was just you and me it was all leaning into each other and cuddling. It’s a good memory, it’s funny. I don’t think you’d believe me sometimes when I say I think things are funny but I really do, you know? I see the situation outside myself objectively and laugh because sometimes it’s a little absurd.

The first time I ran my fingers through your hair- that’s a good memory too. I just sort of did it and you told me not to. I remember looking up at you and asking why. You said it was dangerous. I kept going anyway. You didn’t stop me.

You found a spot behind my ear that you would rub or scratch or something and I loved it. I had no idea it was there.

I remember accidentally elbowing you in the dick. (Sorry)

I remember sitting in the Wendy’s drive-thru while you told me about a clown that tired to attack you that you beat up instead. I remember being so nervous because I had feelings for you and its the first time I remember really being alone with you.

I remember when I actually saw you at auditions when Clair had us do the game show scene. I didn’t really see you or Nick or David or even really Clair before that because I was nervous as all hell. I remember you being sweet, letting me look over your script with you and I remember us laughing at the end of the scene cause I didn’t actually have any damn lines in it.

I remember Abby driving me crazy always asking me when we were going to get together.

I remember you didn’t believe me no matter how many times I told you that Gone Home was not a scary game. I remember we had to replay it because you missed the most important journal entry right before the end. I remember you kept putting my stuffed animals on your head.

I remember that hat you kept in your car. I loved it. I loved wearing it because it was yours.

I remember auditions/call backs for Into the Woods. I remember being shook as all hell seeing you in your glasses, your hair cut, and a leather jacket. I remember Abby coming up to me like “Did you see him??” Lmao yes I saw him. Hot as hell. I remember stealing your scarf. I liked wearing your things I guess. 

I remember it always being awkward when I had to come to the door to get you. I always want to hug you or kiss you but I never could. And then my residents would watch us walk through the lounge. Ugh.

I remember laying on the bouch, leaning into you looking up at you smiling. You’d look back down at me and my heart would soar. I remember feeling your eyes on me more than they were on the TV. I remember you almost falling asleep. I never wanted you to leave. I wanted you to stay every night you were there.

I remember you staying the night. I could hardly sleep. You, well you remember what happened. I loved you a lot because of it. I remember smiling and laughing and you would ask why and I’d say “nothing” but you never took that as an answer. Looking back maybe you were self conscious. Sometimes I really didn’t know, sometimes I think it was just because I loved you but I couldn’t say it. Other times it was because you were snoring. Or because the bed was too small for the both of us to be comfortable and we had to shift around. I remember being content. I don’t remember sleeping but I know I did. I remember not wanting you to leave in the morning.

I remember playing games! I’d kick your ass at our DND board game until you finally got me back. We’d play dungeon mayhem or exploding kittens. It was always fun. We’d watch The Good Place and it would be funny (and sometimes kind of hard, morally) but I was just enjoying being around you. Cuddling. (I think being apart from each other fucks us up. I mean part of why I got so distant in January was we hardly saw each other despite both of us being on campus every night. Seems stupid now. I was also you know jealous of your girlfriend so there’s that. Part of me really thinks that if we were to hang out right now it would go right back to how it was. We’re good at that. Picking back where we left off. Maybe we don’t know any different. Maybe I’m just being a romantic again. Maybe this time we changed for good)

I remember decorating my tree. I remember being so nervous to give you your gift and honestly embarrassed (it’s my love language). I remember you liking it. It was one of the hundreds of ways I said I love you (I remember every gift I’ve every given you). I remember you offered to DM a game for me as a gift but I refused. I don’t think I’m good at acting or thinking on the fly and I wanted you to believe I was. I remember going over the tree decorating rules, what goes where. I remember lying in bed. I remember you wanted to stay and part of me wanted you to stay too. But it’s my mom’s house and my mom’s rules and I knew she was judging me the longer you were over. It was late, you were in my bed, you had a girlfriend. And I had feelings for you. (God my hand hurts from writing)

I remember standing in my room maybe saying goodbye? We were in front of my TV just a breath away and I remember wanting to kiss you so badly. I almost did. I almost just leaned in. I think I actually did if I remember correctly I leaned in and almost kissed you but wizened up and put my head on your chest at the last second. I remember each time you kissed me. Just on the top of the head. I remember I caved and kissed you once on the wrist. It felt great at the time, but I felt so dirty about it later.

I remember when you sent my She by dodie. I remember thinking there’s no way this is how he feels about me. There’s no way anyone on Earth could ever love me like that.I didn’t think I deserved it. I didn’t think I’d ever be loved.

I remember sharing our poetry with each other. Almost every poem I sent was about you. There were ones you sent that I wondered if they were about me.

I remember when you told me you liked me back! I remember texting Abby freaking out because I was so afraid it was all in my head. There were some days I wished you’d let me think it was all in my head. Mostly I’m glad you didn’t. I remember all the friends who told me I was stupid and that you’d break my heart but I just wouldn’t listen. I’d tell them they didn’t know you. I am a good judge of character. Maybe I got my heart broken, but I tried, I opened up. And all these things I remember- they’re all great, they’re all happy and I do not regret any of it. Well I regret a lot of what I did. I regret being so afraid of getting hurt that I hurt you instead. I regret letting my anger and fear get the best of me. But all the rest of it? It was good. Maybe it could be again. (God I hope so) And maybe if you ever read this you’ll understand just how much I’m in love with you. I think it’ll be a long time until I text you Jess.

[quillreflections]

Title: Strawberry Avalanche

Chapter: 6

Series: Yugioh Zexal

Pairing: Trey Arclight/reader

Disclaimer: I started this when I was younger so the early chapters are kinda shitty lmao

If you were a beautiful sound in the echoes all around, then I’d be your harmony.

He should be sleeping, and he very much knew it. It would be ridiculous to get up now and get started. You weren't going to be here until noon, and it wasn't even 6 am. His sleepy green eyes focused on the bedside clock as best they could, watching the second hand tick ever so slowly, in time with the heartbeat he could hear throbbing in his ears and feel pounding in his chest. It was just a school assignment. And it's not like he'd never hung out with you before; heck, you'd been super close when the two of you were younger. And you'd repaired that friendship, and were just as close now as you ever had been. Nonetheless, he was absolutely thrilled and terrified. The clock finally ticked its way over to 6 am, and Trey leaped out of bed, completely unable to wait any longer. He didn't even go to get dressed; instead, he simply pulled his socks up and slid into the hallway. Being careful not to slip, he scrambled down the stairs and into the kitchen. Now to start cooking. ☆☆☆ Three hours later and Trey was still in the kitchen, pulling the macaron shells out of the oven. He glanced over at the counter- . . . hadn't he left the filling over there? Where did it go? A groggy voice piped up from behind him, startling the youngest Arclight into almost dropping the sweets. "Michaaael, you can't go cooking without us around to sample this stuff. . ." Trey turned, and yep; Quattro was leaning in the doorway, filling and a spoon in his hand. Trey sighed. "Thomas, these are for {Name}. Give that back." "Nah." "Oh, come on! I'll make some for you later!" Quattro stuck a heaping spoonful in his mouth, nearly gagging at the taste. "W-what the hell is this?! It's too sweet!" Michael almost snickered at his brother's disgust., but instead, he just shrugged. "{Name} likes the rose flavored ones." Quattro sneered as he tossed the bowl at his brother, who scrambled to not drop it on the floor. "I'm gonna hold you to that promise, since this batch might've given me diabetes." ☆☆☆ Oddly enough, Quattro continued to get in the way all morning. After Trey swept the entry hall, Quattro felt the need to track his muddy boots that way. Once the throw blankets on the couch were folded and the pillows arranged neatly, Quattro decided it was the perfect time to build a fort out of them. The magazines Trey had found the other day were stacked on the kitchen table; Quattro decided to "help" clean and put them back where they'd come from, in every corner of the house, completely out of sight. Now the two stood in the living room, Trey staring his older brother down as he refolded the blankets. Quattro smirked, eyes not wavering. The tension between them was almost palpable. Usually Trey wouldn't let his brother get under his skin, but. . . This was important. He really didn't want to deal with this right now. Quattro opened his sneering mouth to say something, but the doorbell interrupted him. Trey's eyes shot to the clock- noon, on the dot! He raced to the door, ignoring his brothers' cries for his attention. He stopped just in front of the door, straightening his hair and taking a deep breath. Okay, this was it! . . . N-not that it was really that important, but still! Okay, no more stalling. He reached out and yanked the door open, completely unable to stop the smile crashing across his face. "Hi, {Name}!" You smiled back at him excitedly, but then your eyes traveled a bit downwards and you couldn't help but laugh. "Michael, you're still in your PJs!" ☆☆☆ Although he'd gotten dressed immediately, Michael's face was still red an hour later, when the two of you were up in his room. The floor was littered with notebooks and sketchbooks, and he'd regathered the magazines to go through them for ideas. You were sprawled on the plush red carpet, sketching absentmindedly as Michael flipped through one of the books. He couldn't quite bring himself to look at you; it really shouldn't have been that embarrassing, but oh man, it absolutely was. "S-so, {Name}? Where should we start?" Your eyes darted up from your paper, glancing quickly at the page he'd left open. "We. . . should probably start with a list of the people we'd like to use as models. If we're trying to match people's personalities, we need personalities to match." Michael reached for an empty notebook, grabbing a pencil off the floor too. "We. . . we could probably use my brothers, I'm sure they'd be willing." He chuckled quietly to himself. "I'm quite sure Quattro would love to have you brushing something over his bare ch-" "We could also ask Shark!" You cut him off, face flushing. He nodded, as if he hadn't been just about to say- "Fwah, why would you ever wanna ask him anything? He's your typical emo teen, you won't get anywhere with him." Quattro strode into the room, almost as if you'd summoned him. He was holding the second batch of macarons that Trey'd made earlier, munching happily on the strawberry cheesecake-flavored treats. A brief sparkle of annoyance flashed through Michael's eyes, but he quickly covered it with a small smile. "We do need people of all kinds for this, you know." You nodded in agreement, and Quattro just shrugged, sitting a bit too close to you for Michael's comfort. Their eyes met for a heartbeat, and Thomas smirked at his younger brother, who huffed in return. W-whatever he was doing, it wasn't going to work! "Anyway, {Name}, tell me what you guys're working on!" Thomas kept his gaze on his brother, even as he leaned closer to you. You leaned in to grab some magazines and begin talking about the project that you were so, so excited for; to anyone else watching, it was blatantly obvious that neither of the brothers was listening to your ramblings. Instead, they were locked in a fierce staring competition once more, the tension in their gazes weighing heavy in the air. "Thomas. Michael." From the doorway, Quinton's voice interrupted your own, drawing the eyes of everyone in the room. You glanced at the boys on the floor with you, not quite sure why Christopher would be using such a stern tone. Trey and Quattro shifted awkwardly, throwing nervous smiles and glances at each other. Were they in trouble? ". . . which one of you took the macarons?" ☆☆☆ After easing the tension in the room [you still weren't quite sure what had happened. . .], Quinton took a seat on the carpet too, joining you and the younger brothers as he popped some of the macarons in his mouth. [why. . . why were all the boys so fidgety?] As you and Michael began to get ideas rolling, Quattro kept trying to make subtle moves. He almost draped his arm around your shoulder, but Trey snagged your attention, and you leaned out of Quattro's reach. Michael ended up resting his hand on your thigh, but Thomas made a move for your hand, and he couldn't let that happen, so he tossed a magazine in his brother's direction. Thomas flailed to catch it, almost knocking Quinton's snack tray over. The oldest Arclight glared, and the temperature in the room dropped by about twenty degrees. Even if you didn't know what was going on, you knew it was weird. Your eyes wandered to the clock on Trey's bedside; you'd been here awhile, and they seemed to be having. . . issues, so you could probably make an excuse to get away and leave them to their own devices. You stood abruptly, interrupting another staring contest between the three boys. "Sorry guys, but I've gotta go! I have some other things to do." The younger brothers both frowned, and Trey stood up with you while Quattro reached out to grab your shirt hem. "C'mon {Naaaaaaame}, just chill out here with us for awhile longer!" "Thomas, let her go! If she has somewhere to be, then she has somewhere to be!" "Quattro-" Okay, okay, this was too much. You yanked your shirt from Thomas' grip and smiled awkwardly as you stuffed your things into your bag. "Sorry, guys, but I really have to go. Michael, just. . . just text me, okay?" And before any of them could utter another word, you swung your bag over your shoulder and made for the door. The three boys stared awkwardly at each other; Quinton's face was completely blank, and Quattro was vaguely irritated, but it was apparent that Trey had embarrassed tears welling in his eyes. Trying to hide his embarrassment, he turned to glare at the middle brother for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "Thomas! Why couldn't you just leave her alone?!" With a huff, Quattro stared at the youngest of the three. A surprisingly serious look settled across his face. "You're not making any moves at all. And you're certainly not stopping me from doing it, either." His well-known fanservice grin crossed his lips, a challenging tone entering his voice. "You'd better step it up, brother- before she decides she likes me better."

[vento-di-fata]

Heilig - Kaminari Denki x OC

Hello everyone! This is my entry for @kazooli 's contest, for which I chose the following prompt:

While I love my beautiful tired boi, I decided to change the destination of the prompt to Kaminari Denki a.k.a my pikachu prince <3, for which I can write better and also I know better as a character.

Hope you like it!

Trigger warning: graphic description of panic attacks and depression, implied/referenced self-harm, suicidal thoughts and medication overdose

If you feel like any of these warnings may affect you, please refrain from reading further. I tried my best to portray my character's disability and her and Kaminari's struggles with mental health as realistically as possible.

The title is inspired by the song Heilig by Tokio Hotel. Yep I still like Tokio Hotel because I’m still in my emo phase since I was 7, sue me.

Heilig

It wasn't the first time it happened.

Actually, it happened so many times that Moe had gotten kind of used to it.

It had been a stable occurrence since her childhood, and so many time there were mornings when she would wake up and know that she couldn't do it that day.

First it was the weight on her chest, then the numbness that seemed to fill her head with white static noise, like the one made by her hearing aids that time she broke them.

Then, it was the whirlwind of thoughts and anxiety, that made her heart race and her hands tremble uncontrollably.

On those times, if she managed to get out of bed, she just plugged out her hearing aids and took her medications, then went to class like always, completely zoning out until it was time to go home.

If anyone noticed, no one ever asked, for there was nothing to say.

Nothing for her to hear.

On those times, Moe wondered if joining U.A. had been a good decision. She never knew about heroes like her

(Disabled, said her mother.

Broken, said the rest of the world.)

and on those times she thought that maybe there was a valid reason why.

On those times, the colorful line of pills disposed neatly on her bedside table that she had to gulp down every morning felt like a constant reminder that something was wrong with her, that she was flawed, not good enough because heroes shouldn't be like this.

But she still swallowed them, childishly telling herself that it was the last time, this time the pills would fix her.

But it never was.

With a sigh, Moe rolled onto her back and blindly reached for her phone, squinting her eyes as the light of the screen blinded her for a second.

11:30 am.

She overslept again. Fuck.

With trembling fingers she typed a message to her boyfriend Denki, asking him to come over in the afternoon, and her thumb lingered on the send button for a while.

He probably had homework to do and didn't have time to deal with her. She should probably just let him be.

Just as she stared blankly at the screen, thumb barely brushing on the button, a message from said boyfriend popped in the chat.

PikaDenki: Hey Moe-chan, do you mind if I crash at your place after school? I have homework and cookies! Plis I luv u babe <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Cloudy Freckles: I wanted to ask you the same thing lmao also cookies sound fantastic please tell me they're with chocolate chips

PikaDenki: Chocolate chips it is! See ya after school love <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 remember to drink something and take your meds <3 Love you fluffle puff <3

Cloudy freckles: Love you too Pika

Once she turned off the phone, the white static filled her head again. All she wanted was to go back to sleep and drown in nothingness so she would stop shaking, and the weight on her chest would disappear.

But Denki said she had to take her medications and drink water... she didn’t want to disappoint his boyfriend further, did she? She was already a disappointment as she was.

With that thought in mind, Moe forced herself to get up and do the things she was asked to do, but soon – too soon, right when she poured the pills in her hand and realized how easily she could take an extra pill and forget – she found her thoughts swirling in her head again.

“I can’t do this. I’m useless and weak and broken and weird and” The broken string of words that she slurred out, not actually hearing them because she didn’t have her hearing aids, was choked, breathless, waking an ancient terror that never left her body and soul.

Her hands felt cold and she let the pills fall down between her fingers to start idly scratching at her arms in an attempt to get some feeling in her frozen fingers, her eyes burning with tears, she felt so upset and useless and she couldn’t breathe, oh kami she couldn’t breathe.

She didn’t remember falling on her side, but the feeling of the floor beneath her and the throbbing of her head where she banged it helped her try to focus. But everything was blurry and her head was buzzing, she was so tired, she should probably have stayed in bed for a while longer. Sleep sounded really good right now...

She closed her eyes and went to sleep.

*

"Moe, wake up please. C'mon baby, you're fine aren't you?"

Denki cursed himself for being so stupid, he should have picked up something was wrong right when Moe skipped school: she never skipped unless it was really bad.

And when he went to her house and knocked he just assumed she had her hearing aids off. How could he have been such an idiot?

He gently patted her cheek, trying to get the girl to stir and wake up. When he saw her eyelids flicker and open slowly, grey eyes hooded by pale lashes, he breathed in relief and kissed her forehead. "Good girl sweetie, you're doing amazing." He praised and gently held her hands as she woke up groggily, blinking confused at him.

"Mhmh... Denki...?" Moe slurred.

Denki nodded and gently kissed her forehead. "Let's get you in bed okay fluffypuff?" He said, more to himself than to her, since she obliviously couldn't hear him. He helped her on her feet, legs shaking as a newborn foal as she clutched his hands tightly.

Once his girlfriend was safely lying on the bed, still looking pretty confused and lost, he sat beside her and tucked a strand of curls behind her ear, taking note of the angry red of her earlobes, as if she had been scratching them.

It wasn't the first time Denki found his girlfriend in a state like this, he knew about her anxiety and how it took an heavy toll on her life and health. More than once Moe had confessed to him that she felt like she was losing her mind every time she had a panic attack, the fact that it was always when she had her hearing aids off only made her more terrified because there were no sounds, nothing that could anchor her to reality.

With that thought in mind, he reached for the small box containing Moe's hearing aids on the bedside table, placing the other hand on Moe's shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. "C'mon Cotton candy, sit up for me?" He asked. "Let's put your hearing aids on, 'kay?"

The girl only blinked slowly at him, sitting up with his help and letting him put on her the small objects.

With a soft click, Moe's world was not silent anymore.

Wind outside.

The neighbor's dog barking.

Kaminari's breaths and his voice.

"Can you hear me, sweetcheeks?" She nodded. "Great!" He smiled and gave her a soft kiss on the tip of her nose. “How are you feeling now?”

“Better...” Moe’s words were still slow and slightly slurred, but she was starting to look more focused on reality and Denki internally took a breath of relief for this.

“Did you do what I asked? Drank a glass of water and took your meds?”

Moe frowned, lost in thought. She didn’t remember if she did it or not... she probably didn’t. she was taking her pills and they fell because...

God, she was such a disappointment, wasn’t she?

Denki noticed her confusion and the panic that she was starting to feel, and gave her a tight squeeze on her hand. “Hey hey, it’s not a big deal, okay? You can take them tomorrow. Now you need to eat some cookies and rest!” He declared. Cookies sounded really good to Moe and she perked up at the mention. “I have the ones with chocolate chips!”

In a matter of minutes, the both of them were safely tucked under a blanket, a bag of cookies on Moe’s lap as she laid her head against Denki’s shoulder and kept an hand on his chest, gripping lightly at his shirt as her boyfriend played with her hair and made stupid jokes. His other hand was gently tracing circles on Moe’s wrist, feeling under his fingertips the light rise of the scars he knew littered her arms.

In those moments he wished he could protect her always, not letting anything hurt her, much less her own mind that turned against her for no reason. He wished that Moe could always smile and laugh and be happy, like she deserved to be, and not be haunted by anxiety and nothingness.

Denki hated not being able to help Moe like he wanted to. He loved her so much, and it hurt to know he couldn’t do anything but try to be always here for her when it all became too much. He could just be there and hold her, try to distract her from the storm of her mind and hope it was enough.

“I can hear you thinking, Arashi.” Moe mumbled suddenly, munching on a cookie.

“Sorry, Kumo.” He kissed her forehead, smiling apologetically. She hummed contentedly and closed her eyes, a soft smile on her face.

He would have done anything to see her smile like this.

“du wirst für mich, immer heilig sein Ich sterb' für unsere Unsterblichkeit Meine Hand von Anfang an über dir, ich glaub' an dich du wirst für mich, immer heilig sein”

“To me you'll be forever sacred I'm dying but I know Our love will live Your hand above Like a dove Over me Remember To me you'll be forever sacred” – Heilig, Tokio Hotel

[gifsbysimplysonia]

Tell me about something crazy that happened to you

If you don’t want to read THE LONGEST TEXT ENTRY OF YOUR LIFE, do NOT click on the cut! 

THE RAVE - MILWAUKEE - BAMBOOZLE 2010 - JUNE 11, 2010

Mmkay, so the day after my birthday, I headed up to The Rave Milwaukee to see Good Charlotte at the Bamboozle Roadshow Festival, and it was my first time seeing them since October 2006, when I’d last seen them also at the Rave in Milwaukee :P 

Not even 3 minutes after arriving, I randomly ran into Tezzie my Fangirl Soulmate (one of the first friends I made on Livejournal back in the 00s; she was visiting all the way from Sweden and was a member a group of the most dedicated fans I had ever witnessed). I was trying to call the # she had given me and was leaving a voicemail as I began walking around the building, along the MASSIVE line that was already formed, full of TEENS and PRE-TEENS. And as I walked and talked…suddenly before me appeared a tiny ginger pixie :) We hugged, we smiled, and that was that. The very dedicated group was in attendance (though I believe there were more members): Krisse (Tezzie’s wifey), Tez, Ashley, Isabel & Jasmine. Tez was with her friend Ashley and they were going to Ashley’s car for something. I went with them and they were filling me in on everything. They and their friends had gotten to the venue at SEVEN IN THE MORNING and had been there the whole time (I think it was after noon by the time I arrived)!!! They were nice enough to let me in line with them.

When we first got in, we all rushed to the GC merch table. They were running this promotion where if you are 1 of the first 6 to go to the table and say “I wanna rep GC!” you get to go to the meet n greet. Being that Milwaukee was Krisse & Tezzie’s first show of the tour, they were going to try for it as the other girls had already got to go to a meet ‘n greet at a previous show. And wouldn’t ya know, they got THE LAST 2 PASSES??? How’s that for luck? The merch dude told me I could try going with them and telling them it was my bday because he’d seen them “let people in,” so why not give it a try? I thanked him for the tip and decided that’s what I’d do.

Meet n greet time rolled around at about 3 and I was SO READY to have to lay down this big sob story and BEG for them to let me into the meet ‘n greet. But when it came time, the lady from the Buzznet table told the lady in charge of the meet ‘n greet that it was my bday and I wanted to know if I could come in, and the lady just shrugged and said, “Sure, why not?” LMAO! As usual, I stressed for hours FOR NOTHING!We went up about 7 flights of stairs, no sh*t, to get to the very top of the venue. And once there, we waited a while for the band to show up. I took some video of Tez & Krisse, wanting to document their nervousness. They were very cute. Tez hadn’t seen the band in 2 years; 2 years and 2 months. Krisse hadn’t seen them in a year and 11 months. They were both SO NERVOUS. The guys finally showed up, late, but it was all of them. Being used to a7x and only getting 3 of 5 members of the band, I was really surprised! But there all 5 of them were :) The big bald security guy wanted it to be very organized so he immediately lined us all up and told us to have cameras ready, 1 thing to sign, and began pushing people through right away.Somehow, I ended up in line first, meaning before K & T. The lady who let me in took my camera from me and then I was going up to the guys, my ticket in hand for them to sign!

I was determined to be well mannered so I made sure to introduce myself to each member & shake everyone’s hand. First up was Paul. He told me I had a lovely name *blush* God bless him, he’s super cute. I was going to ask for a hug because “Paul hugs” are supposedly the best ever BUT the dude was MAD sweaty O_o I had no idea from what, so I didn’t ask. Deano was next and he gave a nice firm shake. I told the two of them it was my birthday and they replied with huge smiles and “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” like it was the best news ever. Totally adorable. Then Deano told me I’d like the new song they are playing and asked me if I’d heard it yet. I told him no and he told me it was called “Like It’s Her Birthday” so I should like it :) Then … there was Joel. Sigh. So funny to think JUST a few years before, I was totally gaga for the dude. I shook his hand, he stood there and for a second? I couldn’t figure out what he was staring at cuz it wasn’t my face, but I realized he was checking out my Vengeance University switchblade pendant :P Benji was next to him. I THINK I shook his hand and intro'ed myself but I’m NOT sure. What I remember about being in front of the Twins was explaining that I hadn’t seen them in 4 years so I was SUPER excited about seeing them live again, to which Benji replies, “I hope we’re not a let down.” O_o As I learned later that day, this kid is a total “Sour Patch Kid.” LOLI said, “Why would you say that?” He just kinda shrugged. So I told him, “You guys never let me down.” Joel liked that because he nodded and went, “Yeaaaaaah,” then held his right fist up for me to pound, so I did :P Then I quickly introduced myself to Billy and shook his hand. He said his name to me, as if I wouldn’t know it, bless him. And then I was being prompted to pose for my photo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LATER THAT EVENING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the show, behind the venue at the back door, we ended up all standing there with Benji, and he was just talking for QUITE a while. That’s never happened to me before. The longest convo I’ve had with someone famous lasted about … 3 minutes? And all I did was argue with the poor guy. But the girls talked to him for longer than that. They continued to talk to Benji, and understand Ashley, Jasmine & Isa had already been to a BUNCH of Bamboozle shows and they plus Tez & Krisse (and more friends they were meeting up w/at different shows) were going to quite a few more! They became known as “Team Good Charlotte,” that’s how used to seeing them people on Bamboozle got! Anyways, they began talking about how excited they were for CARDIOLOGY to hit in September and Benji was talking about how excited he was for us to HEAR the new album.And I wish I could tell you HOW the transition happened, but I honestly don’t know. All I know is one minute they were all talking about the album … and the next, Benji was talking about letting us hear some. I remember saying something like, “You can go on the bus and crack open a window while you play it,” before SCOLDING HIM about saying that’s what he’d do last time I saw them with regards to “The River” but then NEVER DOING IT :P He said he was sorry.But instead of going THAT route, Benji had a talk with this guy whose name is Danny (I think). The girls told me that he kept up GoodCharlotte.com and ran the GC Twitter account; he was also at the meet n greet taking video and photos. Anyways, he showed up and he and Benji talked, and next thing we knew?

WE WERE INVITED ONTO THE BUS TO HEAR A TRACK OFF OF THE UPCOMING GOOD CHARLOTTE ALBUM!

I know. I wouldn’t believe me if I were you either, but it’s absolutely what happened. Benji & Danny made it clear NO cell phones or cameras could go with us, though, so we all crossed the street so the girls could put their stuff away. I was waiting for my ride so I couldn’t put anything away so I just put mine in my bag. We went back across the street but instead of going onto GC’s bus, we were let onto “Danny’s bus.” He actually said “I’m such a diva, I get my own bus.” And as the last on board, even AFTER Danny, I got to close the bus door behind us and IT WAS HEAVY. I had given my bag to him and he had just placed it on the front passenger seat which I sat down on because I didn’t want to have to squeeze my fat a$$ past him AND past Benji & the girls who were all already seated on two couches and the “aisle” was so small, I didn’t wanna do it. But Danny looked at me and said, “You can come in. Come on, you can sit there,” and he pointed at a bench next to one of the couches, so I said, “Oh thanks” and proceeded to squeeze my fat a$$ past everyone, probably murdering everyone’s feet as I did.Anyways, I sat down in a solo seat. Across from me on the couch were Krisse, Tezzie & Benji. Next to me on a couch were Isa, Ashley, and Jasmine. Danny was standing in the driver area with a camera pointed at us THE ENTIRE TIME so we knew that it was all on video! He asked Benji what he was doing and Benji told the camera that he was letting us hear some tracks off of the new album.Benji played us the “intro,” cause GC always has an intro on their albums and then he played us the first track which I believe is called “Let the Music Play.” As a joke, I took a box of Kleenex that was on the window behind me and let the girls all take one because they SWORE they were going to cry. But y'know what? They actually did, bless them. At one point, Tezzie buried her head in Krisse’s chest as Krisse hugged her very tightly and I realized just how sacred this moment & experience was for those girls. And honestly? I felt so out of place. I felt like I was intruding, y'know? I just happened to be with the right people at the right time and get to tag-a-long for this episode and I am TRULY GRATEFUL for it.I bowed my head to listen to the song, and as I listened to the lyrics, tears rose in my eyes. Because once again, as SO OFTEN IS THE CASE with Good Charlotte lyrics, they hit me in my heart. In June of 2010, I’d gone through a LOT of crap in my personal life, and I just have felt so inferior and so bad about myself. Well, this song that Benji was playing us? It was talking about those feelings, letting me know AGAIN that I wasn’t alone in how I felt (which is what Good Charlotte’s music has ALWAYS done for me and it continues to do to this day):

“When the world tries to beat you down, let the music play.”

And THAT lyric just … hit home for me. So I got teary eyed, but the tears never fell for me. When the song was over, though, I had one of those moments where I actually was so overwhelmed with emotion, I HAD to say what was in my heart, which only ever happened with Eddy Guerrero.“Can I tell you something?” I asked Benji as he started scrolling for another song to play us, or maybe to shut off his iPod.“What?” he asked without looking at me.“I call Good Charlotte my 'gateway band’ because you guys led me to so much, musically. But it ALWAYS comes back to you because, lyrically, no other band GETS ME like you guys do, and that song right there? Just reminded me of that.”“Amen,” Ashley said, and I laughed to myself. I don’t remember if Benji had a reaction or not because I realized that Danny still had his camera pointed at us and I wondered about what I’d just said and if it’d end up anywhere.Benji then played us some of the track that GC is playing at the Bamboozle shows called “Like It’s Her Birthday.” The girls ALL ALREADY KNEW ALL THE LYRICS and were singing along :) I had just heard the song for the first time a couple hours before so I just sat there, bobbing my head like a jacka$$.

But someone knocked on the bus door & Benji and Danny had to get going so we didn’t get through that whole track. As we all got up to disembark, I imagine everyone was as overwhelmed and feeling surreal as I was. We got outside and thanked Benji SO VERY MUCH for allowing us to be a part of that. Outside there were a couple of girls leaning against a tree, very obviously wanting to go up to Benji but for some reason, not doing so? And they were giving us the Evil Eye BIG TIME! Funny thing is, I recognized them from A7X shows.Danny took testimonials from the girls on his camera about what we all just heard. And he told us that he would upload the video THAT NIGHT if that was ok. None of us argued. I don’t think he ever did upload anything, BUT, to all of our surprise, the quickest clip ever of us on the bus that night ended up in a Good Charlotte music video for Counting the Days:

I am FOREVER GRATEFUL to have PROOF that this totally insane thing happened to me. And it only happened cuz I was hanging out with the right people, but they were nice enough to let me 6th wheel it with them and it was one of the best birthdays/memories and craziest experiences of my life. 

Sometimes I think I live a really small life but then I remember stuff like this and I’m like, “How many people can say that they got to chat with a member of their favorite band, were invited onto a bus to preview brand new music NO OTHER FANS had heard at the moment, AND ended up in one of the band’s music videos??” 

I mean, maybe that’s a really big pool and I don’t know it, but I’m just grateful I can be included in it. And in addition to getting to attend a meet n greet I was NOT scheduled to go to and meet the band I refer to as “my heart band,” this day FOR SURE was one of the craziest of my life :) 

[cowboy-canoodler]

A High Note Of Love: Part 4

(Ta-daa have fun, I finally gave the barman a name cause I got sick of using the same words lol. Say hello to Trevor. There will be more gang members from here on out so please bear with me while I still adapt to writing them all lmao)

Masterlist: http://cowboy-canoodler.tumblr.com/post/183094165570/a-high-note-of-love-master-list

(Trigger warnings: sexual assault, violence, drunken abuse)

You had just parted from Arthur, your body still warm from his embrace, adrenaline coursing though your veins from your orgasm, you couldn’t feel your knees and sweat was prominent on your brow, strands of hair fell over your face. You ran your hands through your hair; the words Arthur had said repeated in your mind “I ain’t a man who deserves to hear good things” You didn’t believe him, Arthur had been soft with you, he never once made you feel uneasy, he was kind, and charming... No, he is a good man.

You made your way downstairs through the saloon, a couple of lonely men were drunk by the bar slurring words to eachother, another patron drinking alone, it was early in the morning now and the piano player had gone home leaving a thick silence in the air and aura of melancholy radiating from the drunken patrons. Trevor, the barman, glanded at you as you passed.

“Everything alright here Trevor?” you asked as you passed another drunk patron. Trevor replied, staring intently at said patron, “I suppose, be better when I can close up” you gave a small chuckle and waved your hand as you passed into your room. 

The smell of lilies once again filling your nose, you were sweaty and dishevelled, not to mention exhausted after your session with Arthur. You missed him, the touches he gave you, the kisses on your neck, the feel of him close to you, this was a feeling you couldn’t explain. You’d only just met the man today, exchanged no more than two conversations, and here he was occupying your thoughts, his gruff voice ringing in your ears, doe eyes resonating in your mind. 

“Is this the beginning of love?” you whispered to yourself as you lowered your body onto the bed, a soft creak from the frame. Surely not? like you said you had only conversed twice before, one night of love making does not a relationship make, yet here you are. Alone, letting Arthur Morgan penetrate your thoughts.

She had left, the room was empty and cold, Arthur was alone with his thoughts and the thoughts she had left him with. (Y/N) knew nothing about him, and yet she deemed him a good man, honourable even, but Arthur knew himself and he wasn’t a good man. Arthur grabbed his satchel, pulled his journal from it, walked over to the desk in the corner, sat down, and proceeded to write an entry:

“I met a woman today, as beautiful as an angel and she sang like one too. Her name’s (Y/N), such a kind soul doesn’t deserve to spend her time with me, yet she shared a bed with me; it was wonderful. Should I be allowed to crave her touch again?” Arthur finished writing and started to draw a picture of her singing on the opposite page, she had imprinted herself on his mind enough that he didn’t even need to think about what she looked like as he drew.

An hour passed and Arthur looked at his drawing, it looked exactly like (Y/N), this made him crave her touch even more. She deserves better than you, you’re just outlaw scum, she’s classy and smart, fierce and bold. She’s better than you. Arthur shook his head to keep those thoughts away, these were the times he’d look for a distraction, except the only distraction he wanted right now was her.

An hour later and you couldn’t sleep, thoughts of Arthur swirling around your head patrons in the bar getting rowdy brought you from your thoughts, Trevor was doing his best to calm them down, alas to no avail.

“Is she back there, huh? Too good for the likes of me, Huh?!” A man shouted, very obviously drunk and out of his mind, was he talking about you? You sat up on your bed and drew a nearby shawl over your shoulders.

“You wanna calm down right now and get outta my bar!” Trevor shouted back, this was going to be bad if it wasn’t sorted out soon, “I said get out!”

“Fuck you!” You heard a punch land and ran towards the curtain, drawing it open. “Trevor!” Blood ran from the barmans nose, he was laying on the floor out cold, you rushed over to him but before you could help him a pair of hands grabbed your waist and pulled you away.

“There she is” the patron slurred into your ear, his arms wrapped around your waist. “Get your hands off of me!” you shouted, trying to push his arms away, your legs flailing wildly to gain any kind of advantage over your assaulter.

“Hey now” He tightened his grip with his left arm and placed his right on your throat, “You wanna stay the fuck still sweetheart, or you’re gonna get hurt.” The fingers tightened slightly, and you felt your breath start to strain. No please, not again. “Stop it!” A strained shout came from your throat, your body still wriggling, trying to get free of his grasp but this only made him more adamant. His left hand was now on your breast, squeezing harshly.

No one was around to help you, Arthur was probably asleep, Trevor was knocked out, and you at this mans mercy, if he had any. “Please stop it!” Tears started spilling from your eyes as the man squeezed his hands even tighter, you could’t do anything to stop him, this was your fate. You squeezed your eyes shut and became ready to accept what you couldn’t fight back against.

“Hey!”  A flurry of footsteps, a blur, then before you knew it your abuser was on the floor, Arthur on top of him beating him senseless, “That’s no way to treat a lady!” A word between punches, Arthur kept going until the man was no longer recognisable and even then some. You couldn’t tell if the guy was still alive when Arthur finally stopped, you didn’t care the world suddenly came around you at once and you lost the will to stand. Knees buckled under you and you fell to the floor making an audible thump, this was the noise that brought Arthur out of his rage.

“Shit, (Y/N) are you alright?” Arthur looked you dead in the eye as slowly crawled towards you, he didn’t want to add to you current trauma, he brought a hand slowly to your shoulder careful to not startle you. As Arthurs hand made contact you instinctively flinched away from him, you were visibly shaking with wide eyes full of fear. “(Y/N)?”  Arthur asked again, softly.

“Arthur I-” You started crying again as you flung yourself into his arms, “thank you, thank you so fucking much.” Arthur started stroking your hair, holding you safe in his arms whispering sweet nothings and reassuring you that you were okay now.

“I’m so sorry (Y/N), I’m so fuckin’ sorry” Arthur pulled you away from him and looked you in the eye, “Are ya alright? Did he- Did he- y’know?” You shook your head, “No he didn’t do more than that but” you took a deep breath “that was enough” Arthur started pulling you up, steadying your shaking legs, all the while keeping you close to him.

“Come on, lets go back upstairs, away from him” Arthur spat at the body on the floor, and lead you up the stairs. You spent the rest of the night in his arms safe and sound.

A few weeks after the incident you had become yourself again, Arthur frequented the saloon you sang at and never missed a show. This week was different however, usually Arthur was here early to talk to you before you sang, and make sure that man wasn’t here to see you again, but Arthur wasn’t here this time and you had to sing without him. The rush wasn’t the same as when Arthur was here, you had gone out to perform and couldn’t feel the spark of joy, what had happened? Had the experience a few weeks prior affected you that much? You hardly every went outside of your room anymore, and if you did it was always with Arthur or an escort.

Alone you were sat in your room, facing your mirror whilst brushing through your hair humming a sweet tune as you lost yourself in your thoughts.

“So this is where you’ve been goin’ to then, eh Arthur?” You heard a loud voice ring over the bar, a very startling Irish accent accompanying it.

“Ah Shit, What the hell are you doin’ here?” A familiar voice rang out and you perked up. Arthur! Immediately you stood up and made your way to the curtain.

“I just wanted to know where you’ve been sneaking off to!” The voice said again.

“None of your damn business that’s what, get the hell away from here” Arthur sounded angry, was this a friend of his? Or maybe a family member? You pulled the curtain open and your face lit up at the sight of the familiar gruff cowboy.

“Arthur!” you smiled and waved at him as he looked your way, a soft expression coming over him as soon as he saw you.

“Hiya (Y/N)” You walked over to Arthur and gave him another smile, “Who’s your friend?” You gestured to the ginger Irishman and gave him your signature fake smile that you used while addressing an audience or performing.

“That’s-”

“Sean! Sean MacGuire! At your service my lady!” Sean took your hand and planted a firm kiss on him, earning him a disapproving look from Arthur. You giggled and curtsied to him, “I’m (Y/N), (Y/N) (Y/LN).”

Arthur promptly stepped in, “And that’s all you need to know. Now get!” he waved his hands towards an un-moving Sean.

“No way Arthur! I wanna know the lady that has you on her string! Big grumpy Arthur suddenly humming music at camp? I have to see who done that to ya!” Sean laughed heartily as he teased Arthur, you couldn’t help but start laughing too.

“Have I had such an effect on you Arthur?” You turned to face Arthur, who had a slight blush over his cheeks. You signalled Trevor for three drinks and Trevor nodded in return. “So, Sean, about this humming?”

“What can I say? Arthur spends one night in town and suddenly he’s back at camp with a skip in his step and a smile on his face! We all thought we were still drunk from the night before y’know!” As Sean kept talking you looked over at Arthur who was staring back at you.

“You missed the show” Yous whispered to Arthur witch disappointment tugging at your voice.

“I know, I’m sorry” Arthur rubbed the back of his neck, “I tried to get here in time but something came up”

“It’s fine Arthur” You looked down at your whiskey, “I missed you”

“I missed ya too (Y/N)” You both looked in each others eyes, unspoken words said it all.

“You should come and meet the family! They’d love ya!” Sean pulled you and Arthur away from your moment.

“What?” Arthur spat out, you were puzzled. Was he ashamed of you? Did he think you unworthy of them?

“I’d love to, but Arthur hasn’t brought it up” You were disappointed that Sean had asked you to go and meet Arthurs family before he had, you looked over to Arthur who was scowling at Sean. “Why haven’t you asked me to meet your family yet Arthur?”

“Because then you have to speak to people like him” Arthur nodded his head in Seans direction and Sean feigned an arrow to the heart and overdramatically replied.

“Oh you wound me Arthur!” Sean giggled, “I’m not the worst person you could introduce (Y/N) to first. There’s Micah, Bill, Uncle”

“Yeah yeah” Arthur waved at Sean to shut him up. It was difficult keeping up with the both of them, Seans hyper personality and Arthurs grumpy antics.

“Well?” You asked.

“Look if ya” Arthur sighed. “If ya really wanna meet them, then I can’t say no but-” Arthur stopped talking and just nodded, “Naw you should meet them, I’m sure they will love you. Especially since you can handle that one” Arthur looked over Sean again who was smiling proudly.

“That’s what I’m talking about! Everyones gonna thank ya for gettin’ him to smile once in a while!” Both you and Sean laughed again, and Arthurs face got even more sour.

“Now now Arthur, You know I like you just the way you are” You placed a hand on Arthurs shoulder, and gave him a peck on the cheek, this earned you another blush and awkward cough.

“We can ride back together if you want! Right now! What’s better than riding there with one of us when you ride back with two?” Sean drank the rest of his drink and made his way outside, he gave a half arsed wave as the door closed.

The air was awkward between you and Arthur now, uneasy and cold. “I wanted ya to meet them but I was scared about what you’d think of them. Seeing you handle Sean means ya can handle any of ‘em” You placed your hand on his cheek and gave a reassuring smile.

“Arthur, I can’t wait to meet the people you consider family.” You walked over to the entrance of your room, “I’m just going to change into some travelling gear, I’ll be out shortly” You gave Arthur a cheeky wink, and blew him a kiss.

I hope they actually do like me. Fuck. What do I do if they don’t?

[stansstansandmorestans]

White Oak- Stanford Pines x nonhuman! reader

so this is basically stanford/reader where the reader is a Dryad, but I’ve put thought into the character and my take on their species so I guess it’s more of an oc/self insert? the terms have overlap. 

@rosielibrary I was the anon from a few days ago! This is most of what I had from the old fic that’s a few years old, with minor edits (I first wrote it in 1st person at a whim lmao) that I’m considering expanding on now that I’m into Gravity Falls again

---

Things in Gravity Falls were peaceful. Or at least, they were until The Human came to stir everything up.

The Human was a curious thing. You always wondered why he did what he did, what made him so different from the other humans. Maybe you were a bit curious, too. But you had no reason to do anything, or at least not for a while.

When the angry loud screech of your brethren rang out, you could hardly be blamed for investigating, though.

The human was there of course, tied up in Douglas' branches as Douglas seethed in his human-shaped Mindform. You winced- it was bad luck, messing with Douglas. Any of the Douglas-fir's really, because once one was bothered, so were the rest. Naturally, Menzie, Esii, and Glas were already there, hissing and moaning.

“I- I'm sorry, I was only trying to-”

“Trying to chop me down?! Trying to mess with the fir siblings?” You stared at the spectacle. The Human looked appropriately nervous, his eyes glancing down at a curious journal- You’d heard of it before of course, the thing he was recording everything about this place in. It was true that the supernatural didn't always communicate amongst themselves well, but nothing got past a dryad, not in a forest.

Curiously, you stepped closer. There was a fallen twig next to the journal. You could tell immediately that The Human had harvested it. Sure enough, there was a tiny rip in one of Douglas' lowermost branches, a tiny place that should have fit the twig. Oh, The Human would not be leaving this alive. One simply did not damage a dryad's Soulform, the tree that sustained their life. Unfortunately, it didn't seem as if the human had realized this.

“You think you're so great, human? That you can just go around doing whatever you want?” Douglas tightened his branches, causing a yelp of pain from The Human.

“Oh, it's Alba!” Menzie's nasally voice filled the air. “Finally decided to wander somewhere interesting?”

You held back a groan. Oh gaia, did you hate the fir siblings. “Heard a scream, I thought maybe Douglas found another spider up his trunk.”

This earned scowls from all four of them. “That wasn't because of the spider! I told you, there was a colony-”

“Sure, whatever you say dude.” You grinned at their narrowed attention. They were just a bunch of bullies at the heart of things- far too easy to rile up.

It was at that moment that you realized The Human was doing something. He was wiggling strangely, trying to reach for something in his pocket. You wondered what he was getting at, because the Firs would catch him out. There was no escaping the branches of a Dryad's Soulform. Not without help, anyways.

You considered it. As a Dryad, you had some species pride. You should be sticking by your brethren just for the principle of the matter. But The Human was the cause of so much interest in the forest lately. The most fun thing to happen in years. Plus, you really, really, did not like Douglas and his crew.

So you kept their attention, waiting to see where the human was getting at. He eventually managed to reach his coat pockets, before drawing out a can of something. He covered his face before suddenly spraying the contents wildly. The effects were instantaneous. Douglas immediately screeched, Mindform stumbling back as his Soulform threw The Human across the clearing. He landed, not far from myself, with an a weighty thump.

It was fascinating, in a sense. What was in the can to get such a reaction? Douglas was screaming inarticulately now, not even making sense as his branches flailed wildly. The other siblings were followers at heart, immediately starting to panic. Their energy flooded into the nearby normal trees, making the clearing warp and twist with movement.

The Human struggled to stand, wheezing at some sort of pain to his midsection. “You- you-! You're going to pay for this!” The branches of the trees surrounding The Human curled and lengthened, twigs hardening to sharp points. The Human scrambled harder, but they wouldn't make it in time. He had more of that spray, sure, but did he have enough to fend off the entire forest?

You considered your options again before deciding that, all things considered, it would be nice if The Human lived. You pushed your own energy into the same trees. They were more Douglas-Fir's, which gave the siblings an edge. Combined with them being so close to Douglas' own tree body meant that you shouldn't have a chance at overwriting their will. But they were compromised, and  beyond that, the idiots hardly spent any time bending trees to their will- they were unprepared and out of practice. With a firm push of intent, you kicked aside their influence, immediately stowing the trees back into their previous shapes.

“Alba- what!? You traitor!”

You rolled your eyes. “Leave him be. He obviously didn’t know what he was doing, anyways.” The Human was still half on the ground, and now gaping at you openly. “I'd get a move on, if I were you,” You addressed him directly, raising one brow. “can't hold them back forever.”

The Human glanced once, desperately, at his journal. For a moment you thought he was actually going to go for it, despite being hopelessly out of reach, right at the base of Douglas’ Soulform. But then he nodded once, stumbling to his feet and running off with the awkward lope of an injured animal. You held the trees back for a while longer, sensing how far in the forest he was.

As soon as you deemed him out of the range of the Fir siblings, you allowed a tiny smirk. They were still levelling insults at you, unable to do much. They could have chased after him in their Mindorms, but apparently they didn't like the chances of that.

Before anybody else realized what you were doing, you walked over to the journal and plucked it up. You hadn't seen it in person before, but it was a pretty thing, considering it was made from fellow trees. Not living ones though, thankfully.

“What are you doing with that? We were going to destroy it in front of the human!”

“Well, I think you lost your chance at that. It's mine, now.” You released your mental hold over the surrounding forest with a snap and left the clearing. They wouldn't be following you.

()()()

The Journal was truly interesting. A mish-mash of the stranger properties of Gravity Falls, from the curious cliff patterns to the strange wormhole that would spit its contents out if it sensed living beings.

And then there was the entry on unusual trees. The Human had some documents on the large ones, and an unfinished entry on a “strange energy reading surrounding certain trees. Seemingly normal, save that they are at least twice the size of their respective species and seem to attract the supernatural at a much greater frequency. Unknown if trees are a side effect of unknown magical hot spots, or perhaps the source. Further research of what I have dubbed 'Enchanted Trees' is in order. Pending results of studies on plant samples.”

So that was why he had tried to clip Douglas. You giggled. For someone who already knew so much, he was rather naive towards danger. But clearly, he had not been expecting sentient trees as an option. And really, his efforts to understand this world were interesting.

You would hate to see his research so derailed. Not to mention, with this amount of information, it was all too likely he would try to recover it, and be subsequently caught by the Firs. Or maybe he'd be better prepared, but he would still be disappointed because you had the book.

Plus, You’d be lying if you said you didn't want a closer look at The Human. None of your kind had wandered so far as to approach humans. If it was going to be anyone, it might as well be you.

You took some more time to read the journal, properly rather than skimming. A lot of it was beyond you, being filled with technical speech and scientific data. You were a humble dryad, your knowledge came from what was picked up, and what was shared across the magical bond spread between much of the supernatural. That gave you an instinctual knowledge of the current local language. Not including scientific language, apparently.

Then, you asked the trees where the human had gone. This was the real reason no one could hide from a Dryad. Trees were horrible gossips, if only one knew how to ask. And out of all the forest's dryad's, few could ask better than you. Probably because you spent the most time building the skill up, spreading your senses branch to branch and root to root as part of your incessant wandering. Trees were all too eager to show you what you sought, especially since you had gotten a decent impression of the man.

After that, it was only a matter of getting there.

The house The Human lived in was seemingly small. But, as you stretched the roots of the nearby trees, and the awareness they carried, it was immediately clear that there was far more to the house than there appeared. A deep tunnel, a massive cavern of a room. Fascinating. Maybe you would come back some day. But not now, not when you had a delivery to make.

You weren’t certain where The Human was, but you figured it best not to make much of a scene. It didn't bother you, the idea of being caught, but you also didn't care for dramatics. Unfortunately you were certain that scaring humans would lead to dramatics of some sort. Even curious ones like The Human were like that. So, in a near silent whisper, you whisked up the front porch. Human entrances were not something You’d ever had to really encounter, so you pushed through it with your powers rather than fiddle with the hand sized knob. Roots sprouted from the wooden steps and tunnelled inwards, warping the barrier off its track. Leaves and vines trailed in your wake as you stepped in. No one in the front entrance, then.

You set the journal on a convenient table. Then, you noticed a thin cylindrical tool, several in fact, sticking out of a small cup. Writing devices, no doubt. It brought another idea to your mind, and you retrieved one of them, testing the writing point. Good enough.

You flipped through to the entry on your kind. Crossing out “Enchanted Tree” with a snort, you carefully wrote ‘Dryad’ in a messy, uneducated scrawl. You only had magical hivemind to thank for basic english literacy, though you could not say how that ended up in circulation. Perhaps some supernaturals liked reading human books? Regardless, it didn't mean your hands had ever had much oppurtunity to practice writing. So hesitant, blocky letters it was. You scribbled a few more words, crossed out a few lines that you knew were false. Then, thinking on The Human’s yearning for a sample, you made one final gift. Carefully, from your arm, you grew a twig, a few leaves sprouting and unfurling from the tip. Wincing, you snipped it off with your fingers and laid the piece carefully on top of the journal. It came from yourself, and so it would be perfectly identical in nature to anything chopped from the tree that was your Soulform.

It was dreadfully personal to do such a thing, but for that exact reason, you knew The Human would never get that sample on his own. No Dryad would dare let him. Well, maybe Maple. Everyone liked to talk about that one time she let humans tap her for sap like a normal tree. But she had always been lax, never curious. Never wandering, nor exploring. Never like you. And maybe that was why you felt like helping The Human out. He was a bit of an explorer too, wasn't he?

A sound started coming from the lower rooms. The Human was home after all, and coming upstairs. You decided to retreat to make everything easier. Placing the writing tool in it’s cup, you stepped away and out the door. Once you reached the forest line, you focused your Mindform, lengthening your legs and picking up speed. The trees gently bent from your way as you passed, allowing for a speed that few else in this forest could match. By the time The Human got to his front door, you were long gone.

()()()

It was a long time after that when you saw The Human again. However, the way you met him was far from usual. You wandered of course, wandered as you always did, exploring the forest that was impossibly large and tiny at the same time. It was interesting how, just by seeking somewhere out, you could be there in hours even though the distance seemed much greater. But that's how it was around these parts.

You were on one such aimless journey when you felt it. The feeling of something stepping on your roots, vague and distant but instantly uncomfortable. There was a reason most Dryads didn't wander, a very good reason why you were so atypical. And that reason was that your Soulform could not wander with you- the tree body which was the true root of a Dryad’s life and energy, the home to one’s soul. Without your Mindform nearby, the mobile humanoid form that carried your consciousness, your Soulform- and therefore your life- was ultimately vulnerable. Your powers were strengthened more than most, especially at distances, but you were much too far to do anything save put your Soulform into defense. You felt your branches grow, widen, and thicken into a protective shield. You needed to be closer before you could pinpoint the intruder’s position.

You panicked. There was a reason touching a Dryad's tree was a bad idea. You set into flight immediately, running lightning quick through the forest, flying over roots and growing branches to propel yourself between branches. Still, you could feel the presence, alone far too long with your undefended life force. You were too far, much too far. All you could do was hurry.

The presence had not harmed anything by the time you whipped into your own little magical clearing. You stumbled to a shocked stillness when you saw who it was.

The Human, looking nervous, sheepish, and determined, all at the same time. In one hand was the journal that you had returned previously. In the other, a strange beeping device.

“Ah, um, those others, they called you Alba, right?”

You looked over your Soulform, even though you didn't need to. Back close to it again, you knew beyond a doubt no harm had come upon it. All the same, your nerves were frazzled from the sheer panic.

You didn't appreciate this turn of events. But this was The Human. Purveyor of all things interesting as of late. And you were very curious.

“How did you find my tree?”

The Human straightened. “Ah! I thought that it might be yours! After you gave me that, er, sample, I simply created a portable version of my scanning machine and altered it to track to the source. Thanks for that, by the way.”

You couldn't help a tiny smile. “Thanks for the sample, or for the journal?”

“Ah, um, both of course.” He scratched the back of his neck. “And also, for the... details you added. They were helpful.”

You nodded, feeling comforted slightly. “So, why go out of your way to find me?If you read my edits, you must have understood that it's not exactly nice to approach a Dryad's tree.”

To his credit, The Human looked guilty at that. “Right, sorry. I just- wanted to see if I could. And, well, you seemed fairly friendly in helping me escape and then returning my book as well as donating a sample. Which again, thank you very much for that...” He couldn't quite reach your eyes with his own now, and you blinked. Interesting.

“To see if you could,” You muse, noting his wince. “Well I guess I can't blame you there, seeing as that's why I do half the things I do.”

He paused for a moment, and then suddenly brightened. “Really? So you're a scientific mind as well? Do you keep research? I've found nearly nothing archived despite the great amount of weirdness here! I never considered the other researchers might be weird themselves-” You cut The Human off with a wave of your hand.

“No, it's not quite like that. Does it look like I have places to keep written pages? I just wander and observe- see where I can go and what I can do. Your notes are much more interesting.”

His eyes widened, a peculiar pink spreading over his cheeks. “I-uh, glad I can be of service! Er, sorry for assuming. But still, I haven’t encountered anyone else actually interested in the secrets of this town.” His face returns to normal as he smiles suddenly. You haven’t seen many humans, but you think the smile looks particularly nice on him.  “Of course, that you ask questions at all is fantastic.” He stopped as a thought came over him. “Is that why you saved me? Because you wanted to see if you could overpower those others?”

You shrugged. There was something you’d rather know first. “If I tell you that, will you finally intoduce yourself? Unless you want to be 'The Human' forever.”

“Ah!” He held out his hand awkwardly. “Stanford Pines.” You couldn't help a wide grin at his surname. It took you a second to recall the human tradition of shaking hands, but eventually you did and managed to return the shake before he retracted it.

“With a name like Pines, perhaps it was inevitable that you would come to meet Dryads,” You started, before realizing something. “Hold on,” Your brows furrowed. You checked over your own hands, and then at Stanford's. “Have I- is this the wrong amount of fingers?”

You looked at his hands again, as he instinctively curled his fingers away. “I could have sworn it was 10. Maybe- but- hmm, do humans have differing amounts of fingers?”

“Errm”, Stanford was awkward as he shook his head. “No. Almost everyone has 10. I've... got a deformity, it was rare for me to be born with 12.” And then he considered your statement further. “How would you not be certain of that? Do you have a control over your human form?”

You shrugged. “A little. We can change the size and length of body parts somewhat, and grow aspects of our Soulform, but the base forms from our subconscious- how we see ourselves. It wouldn't be the strangest thing for an older Dryad to have mistaken the amount of fingers for a long time, and then passed that mistake down to younger generations.”

“I see,” Stanford suddenly began to scribble in his journal. You tried not to preen at the attention- getting into the too-interesting journals already. “And how old can Dryads get? Do you have family units? How do you reproduce?”

You laughed. “Well, most Dryads only live the lifespan of their tree, but I swear old man redwood has been around at least a couple lifetimes. Not sure how, of course, since you die when your tree does. It's possible he's just really strong- Dryad magic can keep your tree alive longer than a normal one was meant to.”

You considered his other questions. “We don't have family in the human sense, but there's never many Dryads around, so we all form a family of sorts. Not that we always get along.”  

And then, the last one. “As for reproduction, well, I can't tell you anyways.” It would be easier to admit that you didn’t know, and that you didn’t think anyone really knew, but the look of sudden distress on The Human's- no, Stanford's- face was priceless.

“What!? Why not?”

“Well, I have to keep some secrets. If I tell you everything, you'll just move onto the next monster,” You improvised, though after saying it aloud, you realized the sentiment was mostly honest. “After all this time hearing about the curious human, it would be a waste to send you on your way so soon.” You gave him an innocent grin.

Somehow, that earned another pink flush, lighting up his face and making him look all the more interesting, although you weren’t quite sure why. You weren’t really sure what the reaction meant- blood in the face, obviously, but beyond that? You didn’t interact with humans enough, and while Dryads had similar expressions of mood, you’d never seen something like that.

“Well.. you've been one of the nicest supernatural beings I've met.” He was stumbling over his words. Was that nervousness? After all that, why would he be nervous? “If you want, you can visit sometime. Maybe help with research, stuff from your end of things that's hard for me to get to. If- if you want to, anyways.”

You froze, surprised, and his expression turned pale. So he was... embarrassed?

Suddenly, you couldn’t contain yourself. “I would be delighted!” Your Soulform, fully unfurled by now, swayed in joy as a wide smile overtook your face. An invitation from Stanford, to see what The Human was really getting up to and the chance to learn new things that you couldn’t on your own? It was the most interesting thing to happen in at least a decade.

“R-really?” Stanford scratched his neck, glancing away and then back towards you again, his face perking up with what looked to be a hint of confidence.

“Of course! You're the most interesting thing to happen to Gravity falls in a very long time! And I bet you have an even more interesting perspective on this area. Of course I'd take you up on that.”

“Well,” Stanford stood straighter, clearing his throat. “Feel free to come visit my research cabin anytime. Hopefully soon, I’d love to perform some tests with your help as soon as I design them, but that should be done in a day or so. Oh, but do you remember how to get there? You’ve only been there once...”

You laugh. “I’m a Dryad and you live in the middle of my forest. How does two mornings from now sound?”

“Good! It sounds good! I’ll, um, see you then! I’ll start planning immediately.” Then, with an awkward wave and an abrupt turn, Stanford left.

You watched him go, first with your eyes and then with your trees. You were glad you saved The Human, because Stanford Pines was shaping up to be much more interesting.

[sky-writes-daydreams]

How They Met Chapter 15

A/n: Heyo!!!!! Time for an update!!! lmao sorry it took so long. Life has been killing me. 

Next Chapter     Masterpost

I woke up around nine and quickly packed camp and took off. I wanted to get there early and see my baby boy. Only I had been beaten. I pulled up and all I could hear was laughter. It was echoing and I quickly hopped out. I had my sunglasses on but took them off as I saw Damien loose.

“Damien!” He looked up and quickly ran over. I laughed and soon rubbed his face gently.

“Baby, what are you doing out?” He nodded his head to the side and I got his reins and followed him. In the spot where Wiz usually kept eggs, there was a small Black chocobo! Only… It wasn’t in it’s nest. He was nestled in ardyn’s lap. He was sitting cross legged and was the source of the laughter. Wiz was close by smiling.

“Hey hon.”

“Hey… Ardyn?” He looked back and I saw a real smile again. I smile back and kneel down with damien following.

“Made a friend?”

“Seems so. Damien and I were bonding when I heard this little one. He was hungry so he let me feed him. Next thing I know…” He gestured and I laughed. The little bird was asleep.

“Geez hon… Charmed him didn’t you?”

“I didn’t mean to.” I smiled and gently petted the little bird. He woke up a bit and he chirped at me.

“Hey… mind if I steal him? I need Ardyn.” He shook then and I picked him up gently and gave him a hug before I put him back in his nest. Damien helped me up and went over to Ardyn. He smiled as he got up on his own but still petted Damien.

“He’s a lovely bird Skylar….”

“Thanks…. He’s always been that way….. I guess that’s what happens when you save them.” Wiz nodded then and smiled.

“You two hanging out today?”

“Yeah. It’s not safe to take Damien though…” I pouted then and petted him gently. Damien nudged me then and I looked at him.

“Excuse me?” He made a sound then like he was laughing. I stared at him stunned before giving him a hug.

“Smartass bird… Go play with the others ok babe? I’ll be back later this week. We’ve got races to win!” He cheered then making the men laugh. Damien took off then and Wiz smiled.

“You two be careful now.”

“You too Wiz.” he nodded and we headed for the cars. Ardyn smiled then.

“Where do you want to leave mine?”

“My house. It’s safe…. You sure about my driving though?” He smiled then.

“I trust you.” I chuckled then as I got my shades back on.

“Might be a mistake there love… But come on. Hope it can do off road.”

“Wait… what?” I laughed then and started bella up. Ardyn got into his car and followed me out of there.

His car did pretty well getting to my house. If it had been muddy, he would have gotten stuck but since it was dry, he was safe. I let him drop it off before he got into the passenger seat. I kept the roof up but the windows down as we drove around. I had music on low because we were mostly talking about the different sights. I even got him to agree to a few photos with me at different places and I was saving every one of them. It was a lot of fun and after finding an outpost with some decent food, we had a laughing lunch. Finally around sunset, we parked just outside of The Fallgrove. I killed Bella and looked over past the Guard rail.

“This place is major freaky….”

“Gets worse inside…. You scared?” I laughed a bit then.

“Nervous… not scared.” I got out then and he followed. I had left my sword in the trunk and quickly got her back on and grabbed my knives and my satchel.

“You’re prepared.”

“Have to be. Where’s your weapon?”

“I have it. But we won’t need them till the end.” I looked over then as I dropped my bag over my shoulder.

“What!? That place is crawling with Demons!”

“I know. But you won’t need your weapon until the end.” I looked into his eyes and he was serious. I sighed then as I closed the trunk door.

“Fine… I’ll trust you. No weapon will be drawn.” He nodded then and we took off past the guard rail towards the towering ruins.

Costlemark Tower. Every step we took closer to it made it look even taller. I couldn’t even see the tip by the time we hit the trail without falling on my ass. Ardyn kept a hand on me as we walked and I noticed… there were no demons around for once. That did not set me at ease. I let my hand go to my weapon but he stopped it. I looked up to him and he smiled.

“Relax…” I let it go and he chuckled.

“You’re such a hunter… Can’t stand to be without a weapon.”

“After all the shit I’ve been through… I have a right.” He shrugged then and stopped right under the entry arch. The tower was lit up from the inside. It was so weird to see.

“This is one of the last structure left standing from Solheim…. It was once at the center of the empire till the pride of the people led to their downfall…” Ardyn said quietly. I looked over then stunned and he smiled.

“I can still see this in its prime… A lot of information came in and out of this place…. The first records of magitek were once kept here before the war of the astrals.”

“Wait… you… Remember this when it wasn’t ruins?” He smiled then and nodded.

“I’m older than I look Skylar.” I laughed a bit then.

“I guess so….” I didn’t know if he was joking or not. Part of me thought he was but….

“Swear to me…. You’re not going to lie about a thing tonight.”

“Skylar….”

“Look you just…. Are you serious?”

“Very. I swear…. I’m not lying… you’ll find out as we go… ok?” I nodded and took a deep breathe trying to calm down. He didn’t say a word, Only got my hand and led on into the ruins.

The stairs down were nothing. I saw a weird plate that wasn’t glowing as we walked down but I didn’t ask. I was ready to fight in case demons showed up. We got into the ruins finally and demons did show. I jumped when one was close and Ardyn got his arm around me.

“Relax…. They won’t touch you.” It was a gelatin. I felt his grip get tighter and something odd happened. It backed off. They all did. I gasped then and looked up. He was perfectly normal smiling.

“Told you. No weapons needed.”

“How did you…?”

“Later….” He steered me away then and I looked back. They weren’t coming anywhere near us. The same thing happened in the next room as well. It was amazing. He even let me go to just holding hands so I could grab a treasure. We walked into the next room and I walked over to what was left of the railing. I had my little flashlight on and I could see barely see a thing.

“It’s so dark….”

“Part of that is the demons… It’s so packed with them that it makes the darkness seem… well darker.” I laughed a bit and looked back. He was calm as could be. He came over with me.

“This place has withstood the test of time surprisingly well… but we always did know how to build things….” I looked over and he was solem for once.

“I am from Solheim…. My whole family started in Solheim…. We were blessed by Ifrit who gave us fire and helped up spread knowledge and taught us things… We thrived under him… but the people grew too proud and forgot that they were gifts from him.”

“The war….” Ardyn nodded then.

“It was a mess… but it led to the world you’ve known…. Fire was life…. Water…. Ice. It’s death… I hated going back to that grove in the swamp.” He chuckled then shaking his head.

“I’ve spent far too much time in places like that… Between my first stint there and then Angelguard…” I felt my heart skip a beat then.

“The island….? The Fulgurian…. It was said once that people were sent there…”

“To be judged? Exactly.” I covered my mouth then and he looked over. He was smiling but I could see so much sadness.

“I was judged… and I was not supposed to survive.”

“How did you?” He smiled then.

“I’m saving that for the end… but this is your only chance…. If this is too much…. If you no longer trust me to keep you safe…. You can turn back.” I looked back down then. This was my last chance. This was a lot to take in for sure. I wasn’t sure how to take this at all…. But I had made my choice.

“Give me your scarf.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me. Give me your scarf.” He shrugged then and slipped it off. I took it gently and folded it and soon had it across my eyes and tied it behind my ponytail.

“Skylar?”

“This is your chance….. I’m trusting you. I can see over there that there’s a gap that you can only cross using a fallen pillar… I’m an idiot. I always look down and end up freaking out….. So I want you to lead me across. I can’t see a damn thing. I only have your hands and voice to let me know….” I got his hand then tightly. I was shaking slightly.

“Because it is a lot to take in…. But I made my choice. If I get burnt then I get burnt…. I’d rather try to keep this fire alive than let it drown.” I heard him chuckle then before he pulled me into a hug.

“You insane woman…. Very well… I will let no harm come to you… you will not fall.” He kissed me gently then and I felt my face go red. His chuckle then didn’t help.

“I could almost see just from how red your face is…”

“Shut it!!!” Gods be damned, my voice went squeaky. He only chuckled more and got both of my hands. It was easy to follow him like this.

“Easy…. Going down steps… just let your foot slide a bit…” I followed his instructions and it was easy. I heard a few pebbles fall but I wasn’t scared. I trusted him.

“You know… We’ve got one hell of an age gap… You’re over…. What like two thousand years old?”

“Give or take…. You’re… twenty two?” I nodded and he chuckled.

“Damn… That is an age gap.” I laughed then. He was impressed it seemed.

“Foot up…. Yep.”

“On the pillar?”

“Yep.” I gripped tighter then and he chuckled.

“Relax…. It’s strong. I jumped on it yesterday.”

“You did what!? That doesn’t help you idiot!” He laughed then and I felt him pull me down. I stepped down and right into his arms. He held me close and kissed my head.

“You sure about that? Considering how you just crossed it, I’d say it helped.” I relaxed then sighing.

“Thanks…”

“Anything for you.” I felt him pull me away a bit and slide the scarf down. It went to my neck and I looked up. He was smiling.

“You ok?” I nodded then and smiled. He gave me a small kiss then and I felt my heart do a little flip. He backed off then before I could kiss back though.

“I’ll let you keep my scarf on… It looks good on you.” I pouted then and he got my chin.

“When we get to your house… As many kisses as you want.”

“I’m holding you to that.” I got his hand then and led on. I wasn’t scared anymore. This was a fun adventure with him.

“You guys were amazing builders… and yet you couldn’t make a slidable rail?” I turned then and Ardyn was stunned.

“Seriously!?”

“Yes! Come on! Think about it! All the way from up there to here!” I did the sliding motion with my hand and he sighed.

“You don’t know much about architecture huh? These are supports. We have to have them there or the railing you want to slide down wouldn’t exist.”

“Oh…. Well yeah but still!” He groaned then and I laughed. I spun into the middle of the room and avoided the fire and ice elements exposed.

“So what’s out there?” He smiled then and got my hand.

“A tunnel then more of the ruins. Demons… An emerald somewhere.” I laughed then and led the way out. He didn’t mind. I jumped down and soon looked up at him before looking back.

“You’ve got to find another way.”

“Huh?”

“You’re going to get stuck. Those big shoulders not to mention the ego. Plus… you’re older. Will you even be able to get back up?”  I said jokingly as I slid right through.

“You… Skylar! Get back here!” I laughed then and came out the other side and popped my head up.

“Yes?” He sighed then and disappeared. Then I was picked up. I yelped and soon looked up. He had me.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He got me up on the stable ground and got up out of the hole himself. I just smiled and he shook his head.

“Calling me old… Never thought that would happen.” I laughed then and he smiled.Gods, that smile.

We kept going without incident. He made sure we didn’t get lost despite my adventuring and treasure seeking habits which did land me the emeralds that Dino wanted. The few demons we ran into, took off once they saw him. I didn’t understand why but it did make this more fun for sure. I got to explore a lot more this way and soon we were on this walkway. Both side had windows and you couldn’t see through the darkness outside of it. It was freaking huge. I stopped in the middle of it at one point and screamed. It echoed for a long time. I felt a hand on my shoulder then.

“Yeah…. It’s a long way down…. You’re surrounded by pure open space on either side of this.”

“Whoa….”

“It gets better.” He got my hand then and led the way. I didn’t mind. I got to his side and soon we entered a room. All I could see was about twenty feet in front of me on a bridge. There were little support walls but nothing else. It was dead silent in here except our steps across the bridge. We stopped in the middle and he smiled.

“Turn out your light.”

“What?”

“Do it.” I bit my lip then but did it.

Talk about instant regret. Without the light, the silence felt like it was suffocating me in the darkness. The only grounder I had was Ardyn’s hand. He let go though. I gasped then and quickly felt for him again.

“Ardyn!?” I couldn’t even tell how loud I was. I had to find something to feel. I took a step forward reaching out but there was nothing on either side. I was honestly about to freak the fuck out. I felt something brush me and I know I screamed. I turned towards the source going for where I knew my knife was but then I felt hands.

“Don’t! That’s what I was testing….” He was whispering to me. I quickly grabbed his hand and got my light back on before almost jumping into his arms. A yojimbo was right by me. He quickly jumped back then and I stuck to ardyn like glue. He turned then and I honestly ran out of there. I hit the railing and he got me from behind.

“You’re ok…. He didn’t hurt you.”

“No…. but that was a bitch move!” I turned then.

“You seriously scared me!”

“Sorry…. I had to see what was following you. Seemed that one took a liking to you for some reason…. He won’t be making that mistake again.” I stopped then. I was not dreaming that possessive hint.

“Alright…. Fine…. Just never again! Got it?”

“Understood. I am sorry.” I huffed then and hugged him. It was helping me calm down. We started further down then and I just kept a grip on him. I wasn’t letting him go this time.

We went further down the ramp with only a few demons getting in the way before we hit what seemed to be the bottom.

“And this is the part I hate….” I heard him say. I looked up and He had this look like he just stepped in a puddle barefoot. We exited the middle cylinder into a huge ass room! I couldn’t even see the back wall fully from where we were.

“Don’t move…. The last people here were cruel and laid three trapdoors…. Only one of these can take us to the end we need…. The other three lead to fights I’d rather not be involved in.” I nodded then and smiled.

“Red giants?”

“And Nagagiri.” I groaned then and he nodded.

“They don’t like running like the weaker ones do….” He walked out then and went to a platform close by.

“Hm…. seems my adventure yesterday had an advantage.”

“What?”

“This is the direct route…. Normally it’s not unlocked unless you do the other three.”

“It’s unlocked?” He nodded.

“Come here.” I walked over then and he held me close.

I let him choose the platforms to activate. I trusted him. We did have to fight a few demons that showed up because they had nowhere else to go. They were easy to deal with though. Well at least until the Gelatins. He had hit a block and it started moving and I jumped down before screaming. He jumped down instantly and I finally saw his weapon. A sword pulled out of an… Armiger!? He killed them quickly before looking.

“You ok!?” I looked up then.

“I just…. They’re so gross feeling!!!!! And I landed in the middle!!!” He sighed then and smiled.

“Next time let me jump first…. No more gross landing pads.”

“Please!!!” I shivered then and quickly shook to get any residue off. He laughed but I was not getting over that quickly. Well… At least till he hugged me. That helped.

Finally after one last fight, we hit a new room. I landed carefully and looked around.

“This is new….”

“Thank god… I was worried we took a wrong turn.” He smiled back at me then and gestured.

“That elevator in the center takes us down to the boss.”

“Whoa!!!” He nodded at least till I heard it roar. The floor shook and I had to keep my arms out to keep my balance. He chuckled then.

“He’s awake…”

“The jabberwock!?” He nodded and I ran.

“Let’s go!” He followed quickly and soon we hit the button in the middle to head down.

The tech this elevator was built around was astounding. I couldn’t stop watching it on the way down.

“Whoa….”

“It’s been ages since I’ve seen this…. We’ve got similar stuff in Nifelheim but… Nothing beats the original.” I smiled then at least until I saw it. I stopped breathing then. This thing was huge. We hit the floor and instantly it was a fight. He came right at me.

I was quick on my feet once I got over the shock of fighting a dragon and dodged before going for a strike. Ardyn was backup and easily knew when to compliment my strikes to land the most damage. His weapon system still confused me though. It really looked like he was using an armiger like noctis! I didn’t realize how similar it was until the jabberwock got a lucky strike with his tail. It connected with my chest and sent me flying. All I saw was a red flash before I hit Ardyn. I looked behind me stunned and he smiled.

“One final push?” I smiled then and nodded.

“Go ranged and take out his eyes! I’ll go close!” He nodded and I took off running and it worked. While Ardyn distracted, I got the finishing blow in and he hit the ground. I jumped back and waited to see if it was breathing before I celebrated.

“Whooooo!!!!!!” I jumped up then punching the air and laughing.

“We just did that!!!! We just took that thing down!!!”  I heard him laughing and I quickly turned. He was behind me smiling.

“You’re a strong fighter skylar. I barely did a thing.” I blushed then laughing.

“Come on Ardyn, you got us here….” He nodded then and smiled.

“Want to know how?” I nodded then and he motioned for me to go to the elevator. I did and he followed. I let him turn it on. He kept his back to me though. I didn’t ask why.

“You know I am from Solheim…. You know I am not supposed to be alive…..” He sighed then.

“This is not the first time the scourge has infected the world…. A long time ago…. A healer of the people was found… and he healed the people infected… or so he thought…. In healing the people his body came to host a myriad of demons… and when it came time for him to take his rightful place… the gods turned him away, declaring him unclean…. A jealous man…. A soon to be king not yet chosen by the stone… declared the healer a monster and Demonized him… making a true monster out of the healer.” He was speaking so softly but I could hear the pain and the anger. His shoulders were tense and I was a bit scared.

“Left to be judged for his so called crimes… the healer found out… that he was immortal…. And darkness incarnate. A walking plague upon the earth…. Weaker demons cowarded… before he joined with them gaining more power.” It stopped on the level then and he turned.

I couldn’t help but scream a bit. That  kind face was now twisted. Pale skin with glowing gold eyes and… scourge coming from his eyes and mouth. I fell back on the wall before it sunk in. I hit the ground then.

“Oh my six….. You’re!?” He nodded then. I looked at him stunned.

“You…. no…..” I slowly got up then and took a step. He stepped back.

“Don’t!” I shook my head then and took another step. I had to see. I got close to him and slowly reached out. He couldn’t back away. Finally my hand made contact and I hissed. The black burnt. It was hotter than I expected.

“Skylar….” his voice was even twisted, like many were talking at once but I could hear him in it all. He was there but corrupted. This was insane.

“Ardyn….” I laughed a bit then as I tired to wipe some of it away from his eyes. It barely moved almost like it was tar.

“Well… you’ve got me beat for halloween…. I’ll never be able to top this…” He laughed a bit then and I saw it fading. Soon I had his face and I smiled.

“Hey… What’s up gorgeous?” He chuckled then holding my hand to his face as I saw tears welling up.

“Nothing…. Just…. Thank you.” I stopped then. A tear fell and I was freaking out.

“Ardyn! What…?” He chuckled then.

“No one but one… a long time ago…. Has ever touched me in kindness when the demons take over…. It has been so long….” He turned his face into my hand as more tears fell as he kissed the light burn.

“What did I do to deserve you, my goddess…?”

“I have no bloody clue…. Ask them how I deserve you….” I gently made him look at me.

“The healer…. It was you…. But the king…?”

“My Brother…. Somnus….” He sighed then.

“My proper name Is Ardyn Lucis Caelum Izunia….” I gasped lightly then as he opened his eyes.

“I was once thought to be the king of light…. But then…. Somnus took my throne…. He is the Mystic… and the Founder King.”

I couldn’t breathe. There was no way. It was a lot to take in. Way more than I ever thought. He let my hand go and I held it close trying to remember how to breathe.

“Skylar…” I held up a hand and he stopped. I had to process all of this. I soon looked over and He was serious. It was in those gorgeous eyes. I took a deep breathe slowly calming down.

“You…. you’re Noct’s…. Super great uncle?”

“Once removed… but yes.”

“So… The Darkness in the cosmogony…. It’s….?!”

“Me… Yes….” I slowly breathed out then calming down. I could honestly see it. They had the same jawline and eye shape. I remembered though. What Noctis was supposed to do. Almost everyone knew the story after all.

“Ok….” I turned then facing him.

“The demon shit, I can deal with. I don’t give a damn about that….. I don’t even really care that you’re freaking related to Noctis and therefore royalty….” I stepped forward then and got him by the coat.

“What I do give a damn about is losing you.” He was shocked. I got him by his shirt then and pulled him down a bit more to my level. He was just a bit taller than me.

“Easy!”

“No!” He stopped then as I gave him a stern look.

“I just met you and currently you’re one of the best damn things to have happened to me in my whole life…. But now…. You tell me that at some point because the gods are huge dicks, I’m going to lose you because one of my friend’s destiny is to kill you!?” He nodded then slowly like he was scared. I let him go then holding up my hands.

“Nope. Fuck that shit. No way in hell. Fuck destiny. Fuck the gods…. Ok Except Shiva. She’s okish….” I took off for the shining red circle before I felt his hand in mine.

“Wait, what are you saying? That you’re going to fight Noctis over this?”

“Damn straight.”

“But…. He’s a pawn too! The gods are the ones pulling the string!”

“Did you not just hear me? Fuck them! All of them but Shiva! Mostly that Damned Dragonian!” He was shocked.

“You….!?”

“He’s no different than Titan. A knife wielding duck or a brick could fucking kill me. So if they want to try, let them! But they are not taking you from me!” I slammed my foot into the pad then and we teleported to the entrance. We instantly both hissed and I quickly got my glasses out. He put on his hat and I started walking.

“Fucking sun…..”

“Skylar! Wait!”

“What!? I’m blind!” I heard him laughing before I felt those arms around me.

“I love you….” I stopped mid step then and sighed.

“Love you too….” I turned in his arms then and gave him a kiss. He kissed me back easily before we heard a demon. I heard him summon a weapon then and I looked.

“Whoa….” It was the bow of the clever. He smiled then and shot the demon away.

“Being alive for so long has it’s advantages…. I’ve got more royal arms than he ever will.”

“Seriously!? So you…?”

“Family abilities.”

“Whoa.” He shrugged then. I just smiled and we headed back to my jeep. It was already late in the morning but I was ready to go home and get some sleep.

[thedappleddragon]

Day 134 (Saturday July 25th)

Whoops I��ve gone almost a week without an entry let’s go

I gave my sister her birthday present of a bunch of glowing paper stars on a string, and she thought it was really sweet. I got up earlier than I wanted so my dad could take me and my sister to look at buying a new phone for her. We didn’t end up buying it, so we drove around for something I don’t remember until my dad dropped me off to a friend’s open house. The open house was fun. It was at the same location as another one I had been to recently. We had been having so many open houses that we were running out of things to talk about lol. I had a good time, but I accidentally stayed a lot longer than I intended. Near the end I got tired and was on my phone half listening to the conversation until the other friend left and I listened to Katie talk about a Minecraft role play series she was super into until my mom picked me up. We drove around for a while, picked up my sisters birthday card from our grandparents, and went to the phone store to buy the phone dad was looking at earlier. We waited in there for an HOUR AND A HALF because the girl behind the counter didn’t really know what she was doing. When it was bought and set up, I thought we would stop by home, but instead we drove around for reasons I don’t remember and went straight to Roman’s birthday party. My phone died and we got lost, but we eventually made it. I gave them the $25 amazon gift card I had gotten at the open house iyrssjristsiry. They weren’t out to their parents yet, and hearing their dead name was really jarring so I just didn’t refer to them by name at all, not wanting to deadname or out them. Other than that party was really nice! We sat around a fire and talked bout everything and anything. We bonded over men being scary and also hot. One friend talked a lot about her ex and her crush, and we all talked about how shitty her ex was. At one point when we were all getting pizza, the dog stole my entire goddamn slice off my plate lmao. When my dad came to pick me up and asked who the party was for, he asked weither my friend was a guy or a girl. I explained what non-binary meant, and he was super chill about it!!! He did say it was dumb or anything. He just went “well there’s another new thing I learned today.” Like!!!!! I didn’t know my dad was cool!! Wow. That cheered me up a lot. When we got home, we sang happy birthday and had some cookie cake before Emily left to Michigan for a week.

Day 135 (Sunday July 26th)

The only thing I could think about that day was making a fursuit. That’s the only thing that was happening in my brain for like all of today and the next day. I started to do some laundry until I realized we were out of soap. I went with my mom to Walmart, and while she did curbside pickup I went in the store to get soap. While we drove to pick up food, I played a game with my friends where we all assigned each other colors to match our ~soul.~ I left my phone in the car, so I made paper cranes out of the Walmart receipt instead. I watched some tutorials on how to dye fur, because all I have is white, but I ended up not doing that. I decided FUCK IT and cut a chunk out of a memory foam slab bed insert thing and got to work. I didn’t take like ANY WIP photos so I have no clue how far I got. I just kept going until I got too tired.

Day 136 (Monday July 27th)

I spent all day either working or laying outside in the hammock. I found a frog!! I got really happy because I never see frogs or snails, even though I love both of them.

It jumped off of the seat where I didn’t even see it into the folds of the broken umbrella. I laid outside watching my cat, and I even got her to lay on my lap while I sat in the hammock for a little bit. Then it started to rain, so we went inside. By the end of the day, I had completely finished both paws. I was super proud of myself and I loved just wearing them for no reason. I still do!! I would wear them all the time if they worked on my phone screen lol. They’re obviously not perfect, but I love them. 💕

I made a video and of me wearing them and collapsing from cute and sent it to my friends the next day.

Day 137 (Tuesday July 28th)

I spent my day watching tutorial after tutorial after TUTORIAL about how to make fursuit heads. I couldn’t think about anything else. I also spent a lot of time outside in my hammock again. I spent most of my day trying to decide whether or not to give it a try. Late in the afternoon I said fuck it and cut out another chunk of foam from the sheet in the garage. I spent hours working on it, and I knew from pretty early on that it wouldn’t be usable. The foam I was using was wayyyyyy too soft and floppy (hehe ew). I decided to keep going, just to use the foam I had already cut and use it as practice to get the shapes right. I also spent some time shopping for fursuit supplies, but not actually buying anything. I played animal crossing for a while after a couple days of not playing.

Day 138 (Wednesday July 29th)

I spent some more time working on the head base, adding cheeks and eyebrows, but ultimately decided to offer it for sale on furry amino for cheap. I haven’t gotten any offers yet almost 12 hours later, so I think I’ll either wait longer or try selling it somewhere else. I went outside with my cat and got her to lay on me while I lightly swung on the hammock, and it was really nice. She was being super snuggly and rubbing her face on my and on my face and on the ropes of the hammock. I made myself some pasta and hung out for a while. I did some laundry and changed into some real clothes for the first time in a few days, which felt nice. I showed my dad my fursuit paws, which I had been referring to as a secret project to him for a few days. He was really impressed! He pointed to the head I had wrapped in plastic grocery bags, asking if it was the headpiece. I explained that it wouldn’t be usable because I was using the wrong foam, and he said he would buy me the right kind of foam within a few days. I really appreciate how supportive he is about it. I haven’t told my mom about it yet. She’s poked fun at me before about making a “furry suit” and occasionally pokes fun at my interest in the fandom. It doesn’t upset me, it more joking than actually making fun. I laugh it off like the idea is dumb, why would I go to a convention or make a suit. I would totally show her, I just don’t know if she would be super impressed or if it would make her poke more fun. Idk, I’ll bring it up eventually. But I was sutting in my room thinking about making fursuits. I had an itch to get back to snipping foam and making stuff, so I decided to make another pair of paws for my characer Egg. I think I’ll name the dog suit Peppermint, since it’ll be a red and white color scheme. These are my plans for each character. I’m not sure if Egg should have pink mouth bits or yellow mouth bits.

I plan on using the kloofsuits headbase patterns, just because it’s seems like an easy way to make sure my first suit turns out looking ok. I think it’s funny how I’ve only make 1 pair of paws and half a headbase and yet i already have plans for multiple full partials lmao. Actually I’ve already started on Egg’s paws, and I probably would have gotten further if it weren’t for a random hesitation (idk if that’s the right word) to get out the fur/fleece. I tried a slightly different method for these paws. For the first ones, I had a little layer of foam over the back of the hand, and it was all one piece. This time, it’s all still cut from the same chunk of foam, but I separated the fingers and there’s no backhand foam layer. They also fit differently, since I sewed the lining closer to the edge and it’s not at tight. If I really need to, I could rip the foam off and re-sew it, but I’m going to continue and see if I actually need to or not. I’m also exited to try a different, cleaner way of attatching the paw pads this time, since the first pair had slightly messy blanket stitching.

Anyway yeah. All I’ve been doing for the past few days is either making fursuit parts or think about making fursuit parts or watch fursuit YouTube tutorials. I’ve gone back to that one phase I had in middle school where I was OBSESSED with getting a fursuit. I want to make a tail and maybe feetpaws too, I’m so exited about everything. Sorry this blog is now a pro awoo zone, NO fine.

ALSO the entire time I was working on fursuit things, I had MBMBAM on in the background. I’ve been listening to the entire podcast starting with episode 1 since before quarantine, I think. I realized while I was typing this out that i went through AT LEAST 35 EPISODES during that work time, probably closer to 40.

(Sorry for the long post!!)