#and the energy building and building into this jam session as they just launch into the guitars with their entire selves

[youngpettyqueen]

listening to Free Bird getting emotional over blorbos from my brain

[the-mic-drop]

Class 1-A Cypher by Rustage

Lyrics below the cut

Izuku Midoriya - Deku (Performed by Rustage)

Call me Deku, I’m starting out on this cypher

I was quirkless, but by working I’m deserving something higher

It’s my purpose, I’m versing my present, future, and my past

So I’m gonna rock the mic with a Detroit Smash

Taking a second, I’m breaking my limit

Hitting with everything, pain I can feel it

I’m straining my muscles, I tussle with enemies

Better be ready, I’m more than a critic

I spit it, exhibit it all night

I’m killing it, chilling with All-Might

A villain inhibited by my ability

in minutes you’re watching my school fight

Fumikage Tokoyami - Tsukuyomi (Performed by Shwabadi)

When you cross this bird, you might get to see me wield the talons

So absurd how I’m applying subverse talents

Yes I’m cursed, carry a demon, I’m full of malice

Even worse for you when striking a bitter balance

Dark claws harming the vermin that are below me

Start wars, armed with determination and Oni

Get back, I’ve been endangering those who know me

Jet Black Hero, they’re calling me Tsukuyomi

Ochaco Uraraka - Uravity (Performed by DaisyBanaisy)

I’ll make you float as I’m messing with zero gravity

Don’t mean to gloat when I’m calculating these strategies

Rapidly climbing casually, my quirk “lacks in lethality”

but actually your apathy will lead straight to your casualty

I’ll happily fight for justice, with all of my capacity

My motive’s money, thankfully that don’t define morality

Reality is I’m just helping others for my family

I’m saving all humanity, don’t you mess with Uravity!

Tenya Iida - Ingenium (Performed by Dan Bull)

I’ve got many a twitch, that’s the Tenya itch

I’m like my test scores, I got plenty of tics

Academic, educated, but I never skip leg day

Still regretful of the day that I met Stain

Enraged, by what he did to my brother Tensei

I didn’t handle it the best way, I dare say

Left my hand damaged in remembrance of fair play

I’m representing Class 1-A, they’re my best mates

Tsuyu Asui - Froppy (Performed by Sophia Dere)

Ribbit Ribbit, exhibit a hero’s spirit

I’m in it and so I’ll win it

When I’m swimming, yeah I won’t stop

This frog’s idyllic not a gimmick in a minute

I be launching in to kill it

Like a frog, I’m bringing mad hops

My tongue’s deadly, spitting and I take charge

and then I’m turning invisible with my camoflage

In the water, no villain can dare to stop me

You’re looking sloppy, now you’re facing Froppy

Hanta Sero - Cellophane (Performed by VideoGameRapBattles)

Lucky 13 of the A-1 team

Kid I spit great mixtapes, stick your team

Wraps so clean,

and I’m sealing all the matches now that Cellophane will bring the pain all wrapped up in a package

Getting shipped with tons of damage, but there’s no send backs

Shut you up with my bind attacks

Get back, ‘cause you know that I’ll be winning

in this sticky situation, so I think you better stick it.

Mezo Shoji - Tentacole (Performed by Dreaded Yasuke)

You can call me wall that have ears, door that have eyes

Meaning I’m cavalier when it comes to fighting just like a spy

In close combat, my dupli-arms is coming for the harm

and I’m laughing at you if you’re trying disarm

I’ll sacrifice for everybody exhausting my quirk

Even when I’m down for the count, I’m disguising my smirk

You can cut off all of my limbs, I’m still coming in a burst

Class 1-A will always come first

Kyoka Jiro - Earphone Jack (Performed by Savvy Hyuga)

It’s ya edgy girl, Earphone Jack

Utilizing my quirk in both stealth and combat

I guess I can see how you think I fell flat

but lemme show you how I make up for that

with punk rock attacks

When my earlobes are growing

you know they whippin and probin

an’ now they got you tip-toeing

findin the range that my tone is

It’s not your typical motion n my moves don’t need compression

It’s just another jam session featuring my form of expression

Denki Kaminari - Chargebolt (Performed by Dizzy Eight)

It’s time to put in work, I got this cypher on lock

I don’t need my quirk when this verse will leave you shocked

Like a battery, I got the juice, so they put me in a box

When my positive means negative, I’m like “so watt?”

You don’t want that static with me homie it’s fatal

I got so much energy, I’m plugged in without the cable

On the low, I’ll leave everybody on the scene disabled

I’m underrated, but in a flash, I’ll leave you endangered

Shoto Todoroki - Shoto (Performed by None Like Joshua)

It’s Todoroki, I chose to be cold and lonely

Nobody can hold me with the inferno, I’m overloading

From a broken home to known hero I’m going up slowly but surely

and be better than Endeavor whether it’s hot or it’s snowing

Even if I’m behind, I’ll be sure to make Bakugo see

I do it for All of his Might or to stop killer Stain, forget any trophy

So now that you’re immobilized and then frozen in pain, no one can approach me

Put up a wall of my ice or a wall of my flames to build your enclosing

Rikido Sato - Sugarman (Performed by GameboyJones)

Give me 10 grams of white, then I’m activated (um)

Wait, I’m talking ‘bout the sugar that I took

Got a sweet tooth for taking out these villains ‘cause they’re agitating

Plus the girlies like a guy that can cook

Call me Sato the Macho, I’m saving these streets

Yeah these nachos are not yours, I need me a treat

and this crime fighting’s hard work, it can leave me beat

but like candy and cakes, being me is real sweet

Mina Ashido - Pinky (Performed by StarGirl)

The corrosive caped crusader, Pinky here to save the day

and end up taking center stage upon these lyrics that I lay up

Easygoing, I’m passionate in battle, I’m not passive

See it flowing I don’t spit fire, I spit acid

Hypnotic fashion sense, I leave you in a trance

I’m good at fighting, my other skills are in dance

Protect my friends, we’re going in on advance

Mina Ashido, you don’t even stand a chance

Eijiro Kirishima - Red Riot (Performed by NerdOut)

Kirishima’s here, everybody stand down

I’mma activate a quirk and give your chest a hand pound

With these Red Gun Turrets yeah the target is locked

I’m a boulder with a boner, man I’m hard as a rock

I’m unbreakable, cannot penetrate this armor

and I don’t need a little blue pill to get harder

I’m full of energy, enemies looking dead tired

Blood running in the street, you can call it Red Riot

Koji Koda - Anima (Performed by Connor Rapper)

I’m the quiet type, lying with the wildlife

When I’m on, you wouldn’t even need subtitle lines

Nervous around others, I’m the last one who would yell loud

But to be a hero, then I need to break the shell now

Yo it’s Koda bringing massive noise, flowing with that Ani-Voice

That timid kid with rabbit toys no longer acting coy

Drinking honey tea, facing my fear of bugs and bees

Get a bull stampeding with the words like I’m Douglby

Yuga Aoyama - Can’t Stop Twinkling (Performed by Zach Boucher)

Never needed fame or money, I can get it later

Even though it hurts my tummy, when I use my navel laser

I have got finesse, snazzier than all the rest

I’m the best, nothing less

being honest, not a flex, I’m a threat

It’s getting harder to stomach, I’ve got the smarts and I love

I’m certainly perfect, it hurts just like the art of seduction

Heart of a Puma, get ready to lose

I’ll be spreading the truth

and y’all are stupid if you choose to fight against the Yuga

Momo Yaoyorozu - Creati (Performed by HalaCG)

I’ve got the quirk creation and patience to work it

Balancing equations, don’t even need to research it

Sequencing elements, a testament to intelligence

You’d better watch out ‘cause I’m not feeling very benevolent

If a person’s in trouble, just wait and see what I’ll do

I can literally make anything. Overpowered, who?

Overpowered, who?

I meant I’ll overpower you

It’s true, sincerely Class 1-A’s Momo Yaoyorozu

Minoru Mineta - Grape Juice (Performed by Nux Taku)

Where the ladies at? (ay)

Where the ladies at? (ay)

Mineta’s here to peek at women that I’m gazing at

People thinking that I’m weak, but you know what I say to that

Leave you in a sticky situation with my grape attacks

Underestimating me? You’re lacking information

Incapacitation, when you’re facing me, frustration

Master of flirtation, pretty much the top dog

You ain’t ever coming close when I pop off

Ojiro Mashirao - Tailman (Performed by Rockit Gaming)

Ojiro, the Tailman, you get what you train for

Master martial artist, black belt on my waist though

Nobody even really understands me

Got intelligence, can’t predict any hit that I’m landing

Classmate you confide in with dignity

You can wear a costume, all I got on is a gi

Noble attitude, that’s my personality

Accept results that I earn with my own abilities

Toru Hagakure - Invisible Girl (Performed by Outcast Rae)

Take you by surprise, yeah, I can do it easy

Miss me with your eyes, yeah, you can’t even see me

No matter what you try, yeah, you can never beat me

Feels a little cheesy, like a wish from a genie

When it comes to action, my quirk is in light refraction

so it has the side effect of never being a distraction

Sneak up on my enemies, let me be the best assassin

Toru Hagakure, you can feel my passion

Katsuki Bakugo - Kacchan (Performed by DaddyPhatSnaps)

I don’t think you other heroes are even listenin’

Maybe I should focus your attention with some ‘glycerin

You don’t even get it, there’s really no competition

I’m lighting these rookies up, boi, I’m slaying on every mission

I’ll show them once and for all, little Deku won’t know what hit ‘im

I will get the recognition, exploding the opposition

I will be the greatest hero that ever took the position

So come at me little bitches, I’ll make you wish that you didn’t

[mor3tti]

Boy Wonder & The Young Goddess -Part Four-

Dick Grayson (titans) x Reader

(Dick Grayson GIF not mine)

Uhhhhh, surprise? I’m back, I think.

I owe each and every single one of you an explanation for my absence. When I finished and posted the third chapter I thought I was going to be able to keep caught up with the oncoming chapters but the problem was that they weren’t written yet. I kept coming back to try and write the next chapter and with each try I fell out of the motivation to write it. After how many months and FINALLY finishing my exams I am now back and ready to go. Love you all, I missed Dick Grayson.

This will be a series! So stay tuned for more chapters to come!

The plot: When Y/N gets a sign from the gods to go after a troubled girl, she stumbles upon and reconnects with a dear friend from her past.

Warnings: the use of the word ‘fuck”

Taglist: @nightshade7117 @yetitty @affection-rabbit @drabby-abby @caitsymichelle13 @caswinchester2000 @peterunderoos96 @sataninsatin @chewie-redbird @bad-bitch-khaleesi @peqchynero @bookish-and-shy @kokofri14 @bluexangels @multifandoms916 @blue-and-yellow-jjk-pjm

Some usernames didn’t work so I’m sorry! You might have changed your username without me realising!

Masterlist for Boy Wonder & The Young Goddess

Even as an Amazon you still somehow got migraines, and yeah if you’re wanting to know they’re still a mega pain in the ass. The tea session with Gar had sparked some suppressed emotions which is probably a positive thing but damn did they mess with your head, literally. The best option was to swallow yourself in the mattress that was very much calling your name. Your knees were close to your chest as you tried to wait out the pain. Surprisingly in an apartment full of vigilantes there were no painkillers, then again Dick is more of the ‘brooding and ignoring the pain’ type of guy. 

Another bolt of pain shot through your temple as your fist grabbed the sheet which followed with the rest of your body clenching in pain. A quiet “fuck” left your lips as you smacked the bed trying to get the frustration out without blasting out the windows with an energy tantrum. As the storm moved from where Dick was in town it settled over you and surrounded the tower with a hollow shower of rain, thankfully no lightning and thunder. The calming rhythm of the droplets gave you something to focus in on instead of the pressure that was clouding your mind.

You stretched your hand out from under the pillow and held it above where you and Dick once laid this morning, slowly lowering it onto the still crumpled bedding. It was an odd feeling. The bed felt uneven without him even though your whole life had been balanced this entire time. You couldn't start wanting him now, especially after the mini lecture you had given him this morning about Kory and putting her first. You sharply retracted your hand and slid it back to the pillow before anyone noticed, even if the apartment was just about empty. 

As you were settling in bed Gar was settling into the corner of the couch watching the rain fall. He thought that he might as well take this moment for granted. There was no one after him, no one currently fighting their way into the apartment and especially no one to interrupt him. It was just a silent conversation between his open thoughts that still danced around your prior conversation and the rain’s simple song of serenity. Unknown to him, that serenity wouldn’t last long. 

-

Kory and Rachel were ahead of Dick as he finished paying for the small lunch they had. His hand was struggling to fit in the tight pocket as he was desperately trying to push the coins away somewhere. As he looked up from the change dilemma he noticed how far ahead the others were and jogged to catch up. The concrete was still covered in a thin film of water as it released the remaining smell of rain and the city noise around him cut into his ears. You would be surprised at how deafening the city can be but as his phone bleeped a passing car honked. His phone rattled around in his jacket pocket as the screen lit up with a stoic message from Donna.

Donna-Received at 12:48pm

I’m coming to the apartment. Don’t be alarmed if you hear a knock at the door.

The screen slowly dimmed and got ignored as the notification got sucked away by the soundtrack of the city streets.

Sure, Dick hated how loud the city was but after this he would loathe it. Soon the cars and busy people would be replaced by your screaming and tears.

-

The screen close to the door lit up with a message of ‘intruder’ which caught Gar’s attention. The tiles were cool against his feet when he turned to go wake you, motivated by his state of panic. As he reached for the doorknob he pulled himself away biting his lip as he tossed up whether he should wake you or not. The alert rang through the apartment again but was interrupted as the elevator doors slid open. As Gar’s eyes made contact his stomach dropped. This wasn’t good. And it wasn’t bad. His calming afternoon quickly turned into a nightmare. A pair of leather boots stood in front of him with a very particular rope attached to their hip. 

“With that look on your face I’m betting you didn’t know I was coming?” Her smile pressed into her dimples as she flicked her dark hair from her eyes. Gar got caught back to the situation in front of him and coughed out a chuckle trying not to look at your bedroom door in hopes of keeping your presence a secret. 

-

Rachel had bounced into the passenger seat as she gulped down the remainder of her second coffee of the day. She went to jam it into the cup holder but it was occupied by Dick’s phone. He was too focused on trying to see the oncoming traffic as the car pulled out so she grabbed it and played with it. She missed having a phone, having some form of property other than her clothes. She tapped her boots together as she threw the thought around of trading her boots for a walkman but it was interrupted with an ear piercing siren coming out of the phone’s speaker. 

“I SWEAR IT WASN’T ME!” Rachel screamed as she tried shutting the noise off. Dick’s head whipped around to see a red flashing notification come across his screen. It was a security camera image with the word ‘intruder’ pasted along it. There stood Donna looking up at the camera with a disgruntled expression across her face. He slapped the steering wheel and pushed the gas pedal down as Kory and Rachel sat confused and alarmed. 

“You know it’s just Donna right? Not some psycho killer maniac.” Kory pitched in as she leant forward to see just how angry Dick was but she didn’t see a face of anger. She saw a face that was caught up in the many flashes of childhood memories between the two of you, a face laced with fear. She lowered herself into the back seats and knew it involved you.

Really? As soon as she steps into the city Donna has to show up. Here we go again, around the twist. Two Amazons in the same apartment, wonder if it’ll even be standing by the time I get there. “Fuck!” This launched out of Dick’s mouth without his intention. Two pairs of eyes met his but he knew he had to focus on getting back to you before Donna did something to ruin it all, again.

-

Plan of attack: keep Donna in the lounge room and keep it quiet. If one of you knows you’re here then I’m stuck dealing with two Amazons. TWO!!! 

Gar wanted to squeal and rip his hair out but he knew he had to try and keep a calm facade for the fate of this building. He had explained that they didn’t have phones so there was no way of Dick letting him know she would be coming, she just shrugged and agreed on how having no phones was probably their best bet at not being found and captured. That’s one topic off the checklist. Donna had taken the same position he had earlier on the couch as he offered her a tea which she gratefully accepted. His breathing had become shallow as he was silently praying for Dick to get his ass home now. 

As he turned from facing the kettle back to the rest of the apartment he scanned the area for any remnants of you being there. It was a bit of a saviour that your armour melted back into you even though it was entirely weird and kinda gross. No belongings means no clues. He crossed his arms up and smiled to himself at what could be a successful plan of attack but as he stared out the windows his smile wavered. Donna wasn’t exactly paying attention to him but that damn calm facade had to stay up. 

Looking back at him was your sword in all its glory lying along the outside coffee table. He heard you out there last night with Dick, talking and silencing the giggles you shared. You would definitely kick yourself later for leaving it out there. The kettle was reaching its boiling point and so were his ideas.

Click. 

As the water settled from its boiling point so did his momentary worries. If she can’t see it then she won’t know. New plan of attack. Distract. Gar rushed and made her tea as he smoothly asked if she would want to sit at the kitchen island bench, his excuse? It was right under the heater. Her face twisted and she hummed but came over to him anyways. Lucky for Gar his suspicious attitude was overrun by what she thought was a boyish charm. 

The elevator doors couldn’t open fast enough as the trio stumbled into the apartment with all the groceries immediately hitting the ground. The clambering footsteps alarmed them both as they were met with three other huffing faces. There was no fire. No damage and most importantly no you.

“Okay, what is going on around here? First the apartment doesn’t let me in and then you guys act as if you’ve seen a god damn ghost!” Donna’s voice was raising higher as the seconds passed by. Gar stared past Donna’s shoulder right into Dick’s eyes. I know. Dick’s eyes twitched as he read what Gar’s face was saying, but the reality was that he didn’t actually know the truth. 

-

You shifted beneath the covers as your senses came to, immediately hearing a full apartment. Hey, more food in the house makes me happy too. As you got up off the mattress you listened in and it wasn’t exactly joyful talk, you could feel the anxiety in the household. 

Danger. 

Dick.

You flew across the room and swung the door open, nearly ripping off the hinges. Your fists were glowing ready to fight but you were met with something much worse than a fight. You heard Dick sharply inhale a breath as Kory got in front of Rachel. She didn’t know your history but she knew two Amazons in the same apartment meant trouble.

“What the he-“ She turned from facing the elevator and her frame shuddered. Donna’s sentence got caught in her throat as she stared at you. Her chest was crumbling and you could feel it. She tried swallowing her breath but her dry throat wouldn’t allow it. Instead it came out as a single sob. 

Your stance hardened as her gaze turned cold, glazed over. You knew if you fought her that you would win either way. Each muscle slowly relaxed as you returned to a standing position. This isn’t a time to fight. 

“Donna just listen don’t start jumping to any of the ideas going through your head.” Dick was stepping towards her trying to settle anything, something to stop this. There was an eerie silence filled only with the sound of breathing. Her eyes didn’t stray from yours.

Dick looked as if he was trying to approach a wild animal with his hands up and a calm but shaking voice. His boots squeaked against the tiles and it all broke as if a pin had dropped. 

A gold stream of light ripped through the apartment. “Y/N!” There was immediate screaming as everything broke loose. It was as if the sun had entered the room, light was streaming everywhere as they had to shade their eyes. Dick shut his eyes, trying to get through to you with his thoughts knowing you’d be able to hear them, pleading for you to stop. He had the wrong impression. 

Inside the ball of light wasn’t a battle. Every strike Donna threw you blocked. This isn’t a time to fight. You would let her beat you to a pulp, pummel you into the ground but you wouldn’t lay a hand on her. Another blow came but it burnt. You back jolted as her heel came into contact with your chest. The fibres from the rope dug themselves into your neck as your knees dug into the floor. The light faded but the rope continued to glow. 

Rachel gasped and clung onto Kory as the air was withering it’s way out of your lungs. She had you trapped with the rope around your neck and everyone sat there watching you choke. Now the tables have turned and you look like the intruder.

This isn’t a time to fight. Your hands came up to tug the rope and pull her closer to you. Her boots skidded against the floor and as you looked up to her eyes, they were no longer cold. Instead they reflected you in the pool of tears. Another sob worked its way from her chest and her body struggled to hold it together. She was shaking her head not being able to process who was in front of her. Dick could feel her betrayal and confusion from the other side of the room.

As you tugged the rope again she came that one step closer. A hushed sentence came from her trembling lips. 

“You’re alive?”

As her breath left her body you left the building in a spark of light and her rope puddled on the floor. She couldn’t take her eyes off where you once were as everyone else kept still in the remaining silence.

It was as if she’d seen a ghost.

[crewhonk]

...Of The Line (1)

A series collaboration with @nomadsgrogers where she writes for Giovanna as the reader! We’re just projecting onto our writing, its FINE

Series Summary: Steve watches YN Banner grow up before his eyes– from a shy, dorky sixteen-year-old to a fierce, brilliant woman who never fails to keep him on his toes. He knows that she’s untouchable, but that doesn’t stop him from being completely wrapped around her finger for the rest of his long life.

Series Warnings: Mutual Pining, age gap, gun use, these two are idiots– seriously they’re so dumb, slow burn, injuries

Pairings: eventual Steve Rogers X Banner!Reader, eventual Buky Barnes X OC!Stark

Chapter Summary: YN says goodbye to her best friends and watches as the events of The Winter Soldier go down. YN visits her best people in the hospital. 

Words: 4.1K

@nomadsgrogers version >> (” Till the End...”) Introduction

“... Of The Line” Masterlist

_________________

2014, two years later

Eventually, Giovanna had left to join Natasha and Steve in their work with SHEILD in Washington about a year after Natasha and Steve had initially left. They had come back for a short reprieve from work and were set off to go work to save lives again— 361 kilometres away. Giovanna had called it her first real mission as an Avenger while both YN and Tony had called it bullshit and begged her to stay. YN was never much for goodbyes— moped around for days until she found herself showered and in the lab. A bad habit that Giovanna critiqued her about.

“You really don’t have to leave, you know.” YN frowned, pulling her best friend into a hug and burying her face into her neck. Giovanna drew circles between the middle of her shoulder blades and stayed silent until YN pulled away and wiped her nose with her sleeve. Natasha joined the group of girls and pulled YN under her wing, kissing her temple and hugging her close. Nat had since bonded with the two younger women, now on the cusp of nineteen, taking them under her wing and training them when she could— watching movies and laughing long into the night when she was able.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come with us?” Natasha’s suave, carefully selected speech patterns disappeared around the two girls— something that rarely ever happened. “I could really use a hand keeping Captain Bad Idea in line,” Natasha smirked and YN rolled her eyes and laughed, refusing to let the sudden heat blossoming on her face stop her from functioning like it usually did.

Steve Rogers had grown on her— he had become something less like a celebrity crush in 2012 to something deeper. Her adoration for the man had rooted in her lungs, constricting her breathing until it seemed she would never be able to breathe again.

Not to be dramatic.

But it was true that the two had become closer. They trained together, ate together, watched shitty 80’s movies until the crack of dawn and then crashed on separate end of the same couch together. They kept touching to a minimal— an unspoken rule between the two which only caused for a rock in the progress of relationship building. Both, as the team knew, were very needy with touch and it only seeded the idea that the other person felt no real romantic interest in the other. That, and Steve’s consistent fear of making her crumble under his hands— young and fragile and too good for him.

YN’s eyes flickered over to where Steve was chatting with Tony and Bruce softly, allowed her eyes to rake over his appearance once, very quickly and then smiled back to her girls.

“I think you’ll be fine. You got Blind Enthusiasm over there to help you.” She nodded her chin towards Giovanna who seemed affronted at her statement.

“Hey! I’m not Blind Enthusiasm. Maybe Sassy Regret.” Giovanna pulled both Natasha and YN into her arms and squeezed them both close. Their foreheads touched for a few seconds before she pulled away and let her hand rest on YN’s cheek.

“Don’t blow anything up while I’m gone,” Giovanna warned.

“It’s no fun without you.” YN winked back, finishing their classic statement goodbye— uttered mostly when one left for coffee runs or actually went to bed at a time which humans usually did.

“Wanna say goodbye to him?” Natasha’s eyes flicked over to Steve who was watching them. YN’s eyes locked with his own and she shot Steve a small smile, raising her hand and giving a shy wave. Giovanna scoffed quietly to herself, toeing the ground with her sneakers at the innocent move.

Behind closed doors, YN rarely had a filter on the topic of Steve Rogers. Hashing out everything she wanted him to do to her and everything she wanted to do to him, sometimes in such great detail even Natasha, when she was able to join, would blush. Now, in the midst of that same man, YN was reduced to a blushing, quiet sixteen-year-old version of herself.

YN was like a pit bull raised in a good family— her bark was most certainly worse than her bite.

“Nah. We already said goodbye.” YN smiled, looking away from Steve who seemed to be less than keen on doing the same. Giovanna and Natasha’s identical smirks dropped at the very same time.

“Okay, great. We’re going to have a FaceTime session tonight and you’re going to spill everything.”

“Everything?”

“Every. Single. Thing.”

______________________

The tower was lonely without the chaos that ensued during the previous three and a half years, all due to the rapidly advancing education that was YN Banner and Giovanna Stark’s life. There were no crashes from the lab on the 52nd floor, as YN was played out on the couch, uninspired and bored out of her mind at one in the morning. She had been throwing up a stress ball into the air, catching it all the while glaring at the holograms on the table in front of her. When the hologram flickered for the third time in ten seconds she growled and threw the stress ball at it, eyes flashing neon green only briefly.

“Woah! Squish, you okay?” Bruce exclaimed, walking around the table and rubbing the spot on his forehead where the ball had collided. YN muttered an apology as her dad sat down next to her, watching the diagram of a blood cell rotate in front of them.

“Been better.” She mumbled, taking the stress ball back from her father and digging her nails into it. Both Bruce and Big Guy took notice, and they were equally concerned.

“What’s goin’ on?” He tried. He was usually wonderful at this father-ing schtick but ever since he had left when she was only sixteen, she had become increasingly independent. Now almost twenty, she was a full adult and Bruce had no idea where he belonged anymore.

“I just— God. I want to think I’m a grown up. I want to think I’m independent from other people and can function without another person but I don’t think I can do that. I’ve always had you and when I didn’t I’ve always had Gio and Natasha and Steve and Tony. I’m no good alone.” YN ranted, tears welling in her eyes and Bruce could feel his heart melting and breaking both at the same time.

“You don’t have to be alone, you know. Humans are social creatures. We don’t do well alone. We’re meant to be in packs and we’re meant to have those social bonds. Independence for us in the wild usually means death— in modern times it just sometimes means everything short of that.” Bruce hummed and he wrapped his arm around his baby girls shoulders. She sniffed into his neck and wiped tears away from her eyes.

“But Gio’s independent. So are Steve and Natasha and I don’t get why I can’t be like that.” Her voice was thick as she spoke.

“Because you’re you. You don’t have to be like them. There’s no shame in leaning on people, you know.” He mumbled and Big Guy seemed to agree, chest rumbling in agreement. There was as silence before YN’s quiet voice rang out loud and clear.

“You’re not goin’ anywhere, right, Papa?”

Bruce’s heart skipped a beat and he pulled her closer, squishing her to his chest and blinking back tears.

“I’ll stay right here just as long as you want me to, okay?”

“Okay.”

Another Pause.

“Wanna help me try to figure out our blood?”

____________________

It was a week before ‘Tonights’ FaceTime could take place, as both Natasha and Giovanna had been swept up in the life and work of SHEILD. It was seven at night when YN’s phone rang by her side, laptop on her lap in bed playing “The 100”. The phone chimed, and YN in all of her excitement nearly launched her computer from her legs in her hurry to answer it.

“Hi!” She said excitedly, shutting her laptop and pulling her covers closer to her chest. On her screen were her best friends, faces squished together and smiling so widely. The flush on Giovanna’s cheeks was a telltale sign they were at least a glass and a half into their wine.

“Baby girl!” Giovanna almost squealed, and YN’s heart clenched. Oh, how she had missed the Stark energy because sure, Tony had it all but there was nothing like seeing it in jammed into a 5’3 Italian firecracker of a girl.

“How’s Washington? Oh my gosh, have you met Obama yet? What about Michelle? Are her arms as magnificent as they look in pictures?” YN rushed, and the two girls laughed.

“Washington is good! It’s too vanilla for my taste.” Giovanna replied and Natasha said something about how it was because the sewer rats were the closest things she ever got to owning a pet.

“No, we haven’t met any of the Obama’s either.” Natasha quelled YN’s thirst for the First Family and YN sat back in mock disappointment.

“Well, then what’re you even doing there?” The others laughed at her response before they both lost their excited exterior. It would never fail to impress YN how in sync Giovanna and Natasha were at almost all times.

“So, don’t think we forgot, little lamb.” Natasha chastised and YN rolled her eyes, before getting up and grabbing a bottle of wine from her wine cooler hidden in the back of her closet. No way was she explaining her and Steve’s goodbye while sober. No, ma’am.

She raised the bottle to her lips and wiped her hand across her mouth.

“What d’you wanna know?” YN resigned herself to what she could picture as hours worth of interrogation.

“Everything.”

____________________

It was the night before the team was about to leave for Washington. Giovanna had already left the common room under the guise of packing, allowing for Steve and YN to have a few hours to themselves under the glow of the city lights streaming through the windows and the television.

Steve could feel his hands clamming up. Sure, he had been alone with YN countless times before, but it was only on his visit back did he notice that YN had grown up. Long gone were her puberty curves. There was that same trademark Banner softness to her, but he didn’t miss the way that her shirt clung to rigid muscle when she was straining herself in the gym. He didn’t miss the lines of her calf and thigh muscles whenever she wore those tight black shorts that made his head spin. He didn’t miss the curl of her wild hair or how her eyes seemed to droop in a way that made his heart stutter whenever she looked at him.

He had been alone with YN before, countless times. She never failed to make him feel like a 16-year-old kid in Brooklyn, though.

“You know, I’m really gonna miss nights like these.” She said, curling into the cushion of the couch and pulling her blanket to her chin— comfort habit, he had learned.

“Whatd’ya mean?” He asked, suddenly not at all interested in the movie playing in front of them. He knew this was an iconic 90’s movie but he couldn’t care less about anything that didn’t involve YN.

“You and me all curled up. I mean, come on. Showing movies to Captain America for the first time?” She giggled sleepily at his eye roll.

“As if I care about it, honestly.” He mirrored her position, facing her and leaning on the back of the couch.

“Why don’t you care about it? Clueless is one of the best movies out there.” YN tried to sound offended, but she couldn’t find it in herself to sound anything but nervous and breathy. Steve’s eyes were drooping, fighting hard to stay awake and watching her with a softness he rarely showed anyone. In some wild, delusional state, she could almost believe what Giovanna and Natasha told her— that he could come to love someone like her.

“Not my type.” He muttered, forcing himself to keep his hands from reaching out and placing them on her bare arms. God, all he wanted to do was run the back of his knuckles over her skin. Wanted to make goosebumps erupt all over her body. Wanted to make her suck in a breath and look at him through those innocent, peering eyes.

Steve kept his hands to himself.

“What is your type?” She whispered, and his heart climbed violently up his throat. He coughed once to get it back to where it belonged and when that didn’t work, he pulled away farther from her. He couldn’t— she was too young and good and pure and everything he would ruin.

He wouldn’t ruin YN Banner.

“We should get you to bed, okay, Sugar?” He said, glancing absently at the time before rising slowly to his feet. He wanted nothing more than to curl up against her, soak her in enough for him to survive the next few months away. He stopped himself, however, filling his arms with blankets and pillows and waiting for her to stand and join him.

She almost looked disappointed he didn’t help her. Definitely looked disappointed he was ending the night.

She only nodded, however, and wrapped her blanket around her shoulders like a cape, following him to the elevator in silence and riding up in silence. Only speaking again when they reached her floor. She stepped out, turning around and placing her hand on the door so it wouldn’t close on her. She was quiet for a time, trying her very best to memorize the way blue skin had found a home in the inner corners of his eyes. How the left side of his nose was just a little crooked. Remember the cleft of his chin and the swell of his bottom lip. She sniffed and nodded and stepped back.

“I’ll miss you, grandpa. Don’t know who I’ll make old people jokes about anymore.” She forced a playful smile over her tired face and he mirrored it.

They were both so close, but so, so far away.

“I’ll miss you, Sweetheart. Don’t know who’s gonna make you get to bed in time for your afternoon nap.”

“Guess you’ll have to come back soon, then.”

Then, the elevator door slid shut with a quiet ‘ding’.

______________________

YN had thought them to be dead. Nick, Steve, Natasha, and Giovanna killed in a gun battle in the middle of Washington. She had thought them dead until she got the call. It was Tony who called, half out of his mind with worry but voice dripping with relief.

“They’re alive, YN. News— look at the news.” She listened to her uncle, ran down the hall of her floor to the common room with television in it and flicked on the channel. Sure, Tony may have been only five floors away, but she was suddenly very familiar with the feeling of her legs and arms and heart going numb.

The flashing red at the bottom screen told her this was live. Large hellicarriers armed to the teeth were falling on Washington, a collection of live footage from the news crews and videos from Twitter streaming on the screen, and YN cried out when a rather shaky video caught sight of Giovanna, fighting, yelling, bleeding through her uniform but alive. YN let out a dry sob and leaned forward on her knees, putting her head in her hands and crying into them despite the lack of tears streaming from her eyes.

Then, when she looked back, she saw him. Angry, and scared and like Giovanna, bleeding but very much alive. He looked to be running— chasing after someone who was singlehandedly taking out an entire SHEILD battalion.

She didn’t care. Her guys were alive.

________________________

The quinjet ride to Washington was only half an hour, but both YN and Tony could have sworn it would have been easier to walk themselves. The jet landed on the roof of the hospital and she sprinted side by side with Tony down the stairs, bursting through the doors of the VIP section the hospital had closed off.

Large men in combat greens were lining the hallways, guns on their shoulders and there was an eerie silence in the hallway.

“Ms. Stark is in room 567, Captain Rogers is in the room next to her— 569.” The nurse, nervous and excited at the sight of the Tony Stark in her own hospital making her voice higher than usual.

“I need— I’m sorry.” He whispered once they got to the rooms and YN rolled her eyes, pushing him towards his daughters' room.

“Go, we got all day. I’m gonna go see Steve.” YN tried to ignore the way Tony’s worried eyes gave away to something almost teasing, and she turned around to the room 569, knocking on the ajar door and smiling at the man in the room.

He was sitting next to an unconscious Steve. His dark skin and dark eyes stunned her— a man of genuine beauty was protecting Steve. He looked at her, eyes intense and guarding.

“Who’re you?” His voice was suave and the gap in his teeth was charming. YN tried to fight back the urge to walk over and tell him just who she was— he obviously cared much for Steve. The bags under his eyes and the stains on his shirt were dead giveaways that he hadn’t left the hospital in a few days.

“YN Banner. Who are you?” Her voice was strong, and her gaze landed on Steve who looked very much worse for wear. A large gash that was deep enough to require stitches extended from the corner of his mouth to his earlobe, a black and green and red bruise on his opposite cheek let her know that the bone underneath his skin must have been completely shattered. The hospital gown he was wearing was pulled to the side to show more blossoming bruises and YN coughed, trying to rid her throat of the sudden lump that had taken root there.

The man made a noise of surprise and joy, a wide smile blossoming over his face before he stood and extended a hand.

“Sam Wilson. Wow, the famous YN Banner. Steve and Giovanna never shut up about you this whole week, it’s nice to put a face to the name. Nice to meet you, Steve’s girlfriend, YN Banner.” He smirked and his smile grew at the way she spluttered in surprise.

“I’m— we’re not— I’m not—“ She rushed, cheeks flaming to the tips of her ears. Sam laughed and stepped closer, moving to walk by her and out of the room, knowing she would want some alone time.

“He said the same thing when Gio and Natasha called him your boyfriend. Got more red, though.” And with that, and a clap on the shoulder, Sam walked out of the room.

YN’s gaze drifted back to Steve, and she pressed the backs of her cold hands to her face to try to quell the blush that seemed to have found a home there. She walked over to his side, pulling a chair to his bedside and reaching out, hesitating only slightly before wrapping both of her hands around his much larger one. The knuckles were bruised and bloody, clean stitches already looking to have been removed and she rested her cheek on them, looking at Steve’s face.

It was only a half an hour before his hand twitched in hers, and he grunted at the pain he felt immediately upon waking. He cracked his eyes open slowly, crusted closed with tears and other sleep residue and felt someone's hands tighten around his own.

YN was there, eyes tired but relieved and Steve’s heart rate monitor picked up when she smiled at him, softly.

“Hey,” She whispered over the music from the speaker Sam had brought in. Her tightened her grip on his hands and rested her lips on his fingers— not kissing them, but resting there and Steve cursed the machine beeping continuously and irregularly beside him.

“Hi,” His voice was raspy from the fight and smoke and water they had to pump from his lungs and the breathing tube from the surgeries he had received.

“Whose idea was it to take down SHIELD?” She asked, corners of her lips turning up. She already knew the answer, but it would be nice to have the opportunity to make fun of the man in front of her.

“Gio’s?” He tried and YN laughed against his hand, breath drifting over his knuckles and making the pink of blush creep up his neck. God, how the hell did someone as good as her make him so unbearably nervous. She had gotten even more beautiful in the four months they hadn’t seen each other.

“Nice try, Captain Bad Idea.” YN teased, and she pulled one hand from his grip to brush the back of her fingers against his forehead and his eyes fluttered shut briefly at her touch. To anyone looking into the room, they looked like a couple— two people so in love and so worried for each other, and both Steve and YN knew this, neither too keen on ruining the illusion. They only wanted to stay in this little moment for a few minutes longer— for as long as it took for reality to pull them away from each other once more.

____________________

Soon, Tony interrupted their moment outside of reality, needing to discuss and make plans for the future of the team and whoever remained of SHEILD.

“I’ll be back. Can you eat anything yet?”

“I think so,” His voice was quiet and he really, truly, desperately didn’t want you to leave— didn’t want to let you go already.

“Okay, I’ll find something good.” YN stood, squeezing his hand once before pulling away slowly and Tony raised an eyebrow at the way Steve almost seemed to reach after it, wanting her to come back so soon.

YN didn’t hear the way Tony teased Steve, comments of ‘gramps’ and ‘you know she’s too smart for you, right?’ Followed quickly by Steve telling him to shove it somewhere the sun didn’t shine. Instead, she walked over to the next room and didn’t even bother knocking before walking in and crossing her arms, glaring at her best friend who looked a little worse for wear.

“You look like shit, babe,” Giovanna said with a wicked grin.

“You’re one to talk. Really? Taking down secret government Nazi’s? Without me? How dare you.” YN dropped her stern act and padded over to Giovanna’s bed, lifting the blankets and curling under them, resting her head on her best friends shoulder.

“Sorry about that.” Giovanna shifted slightly and moved to face YN, glad she had chosen to invade her bed on this side, as she didn’t need to lay on the stab wound she had received only hours before.

“I told you not to die.” YN chastised lightly, and Giovanna patted her shoulder.

“I didn’t— I just got stabbed lightly by sex on legs.” She said and YN looked at her sharply.

“Excuse me?”

And then, Giovanna launched into a story of a man-- the Winter Soldier-- dressed in all black, hair hanging around his face which was, apparently, sculpted by Hades himself.

“And the best part,” Giovanna continued, pausing for dramatic effect. “It was Bucky Barnes. The Winter Soldier is Bucky Barnes!”

YN’s heart dropped to her stomach and she could feel the blood leave her face.

“What? Steve didn’t say anything about— oh, my God.” YN whispered, and she barely had time to even worry about Steve before Giovanna made a noise in the back of her throat.

“Oh, so you saw your favourite Beefcake before your best friend?” Giovanna teased, relishing in the way YN looked as if she wished the ground would swallow her whole.

“I— you were— Tony needed to see you.” YN stuttered and Giovanna rolled her eyes, squeezing YN closer to her. God, she missed her bumbling, pining, lovestruck best friend.

“Suuuure.”

______________________________

Tags (open, send an ask): @i-am-always-famished / @filia-sapientiae / @somekryptonitewriting / @fashionlive15 / @godlymissbalor / @fanfictionjunkie1112 / @nerdy-bookworm-1998 / @songforhema / @army-crawl-andersen / @buckybarneshairpullingkink / @shynara51

[jessaadventures-blog]

Week Eight: The Mass Exodus

A little red crab at Capullana caves!

This week was a good one; we had so many great volunteers and spent a lot of time bonding, adventuring, and going a bit crazy at times! Most everyone left this weekend, though, and now we’re down to only four volunteers. This week was memorable and a great last exciting week before I begin preparing to head to Patagonia (I have a lot of work to do).

The EcoHouse

Party time in the EcoHouse!

We didn’t get any new volunteers this week, and no one else arrives until over a week after I leave, and it’s weird to think that I won’t meet any more new interns before I leave! 

Jack left on Tuesday to head back to Bristol for school, and it’s been weird not having him and his polite and “posh” self around the house; everybody misses him.

Andres left on Wednesday to go to a wedding in Canada, and isn’t coming back for quite a while, so I won't see him again. I’m really going to miss his joking and stories around the house. Michael came back on Wednesday (with a new haircut) to replace Andres leaving.

Orianna left yesterday to head back home to Boston and to school, and Seth and Claudia left today; Seth to go home to Indiana to start looking for a new job, and Claudia to head back to Bristol for her third year of university! Chris leaves tomorrow for the UK, which leaves only Ale, Joris, Anthony, and I in the house. I’ll have my own room and I’ll be the only girl (apart from Nai Ana) for the first time since I got here.

It’s sad to see everyone leave, we’ve had some really great times these past few weeks with so many people. At the same time, though, it’ll be nice to have some quiet and time to reflect and relax before I head to Patagonia and meet a bunch of new people and have minimal alone time for three weeks.

We had a pretty typical food week, with some new recipes thrown in. On Monday we went to Tranqui’s and most people got dessert at a cute little stand that just opened up nearby, we had tacos on Tuesday (of course), veggie burgers on Wednesday, pot pie on Thursday, and we did a special director’s night on Friday, when Diego, Nai Ana, and Michael made some AMAZING lasagna (a vegan and a vegetarian one) and a wonderful vegan carrot cake pudding. I was thoroughly impressed, we have to have the directors cook more! On Saturday we went to La Casona to try out their food for Orianna’s last night, but the food took three hours to come out and wasn’t that great. On Sunday we headed to Cora for lunch and Tranqui’s for Claudia and Seth’s last night! 

Nai Ana’s vegan carrot cake pudding with chocolate sauce on top! It was incredible.

We also had some crazier nights this week. On Wednesday, after veggie burgers, Diego and Nai Ana made maracuya (passionfruit) sours (like pisco sours but with passionfruit too) that were amazing but very strong, and those combined with the several runs the boys went on for beers resulted in everyone getting pretty tipsy. We all ended up having a dance party and trying to salsa around the dining room, which was highly entertaining! On Friday we celebrated Nai Ana’s birthday (it’s actually today but we wanted to celebrate while everyone was still here) by making pisco sours, drinking beer, having a jam session with all the instruments laying around the house, and talking around a bonfire in the courtyard. Another fun night!

Work 

Bonfire in the courtyard!

We tested the solar distiller again this week, after trying to seal up all the holes, and though we fixed most of the worst holes, there were still some little leaks and the drips weren’t falling in the water catch, so we got very little water out of it. This week we’re going to try to do one more fix so we can get enough water to put through the carbon filter and drink, but at this point there’s too many issues with the distiller to move it to the guild. It’s important that the technology and products we introduce to the community work well, are easy to use, and have the issues and kinks all worked out, because if the locals are introduced to a new technology and all it does is cause issues and not work they’ll stop using it and also lose trust in EcoSwell.

We’ve learned a lot from this pilot distiller, and it has helped us identify ways to make the next one much more functional and easier to use. So, though we’re doing one last test to see if we can get more water out of it, during this last week I’ll be working to finish writing a manual for building a functional solar distiller, incorporating the lessons I’ve learned from working with the current distiller, and I’ll be launching a crowdfunding campaign to fund the construction of the next distiller (so keep an eye out for that, I’d really appreciate you all donating what you can so my project can continue on to be a success and help the Lobitos community)!

Other than the distiller, we had planting day (I pulled weeds, thinned vetiver, put mulch on vetiver, and pulled more weeds), cleaning day (I got to deep clean the bathroom woo), and social media (mostly SteemIt posts). EcoSwell was on Peruvian National Television this week as well, which was very exciting! A show did a short segment (filmed in February) on EcoSwell and their mission, and it was really well done!

As I’m getting ready to head to Patagonia, I have a lot of preparation to do. We’ve been given six papers to read over before we come, along with five more papers about energy issues in Patagonia that I would like to read over to determine what I want to focus my research project on and get a feel for what we’ll be learning about down there. We also have a short essay to write about what we’re looking forward to and what we want to learn while we’re traveling around Patagonia. I’m trying to get all this done in my free time and in the evenings, and it’s all very interesting but definitely sucks up some time!

Adventures 

Emerging onto the hidden beach at Capullana caves.

On Wednesday the whole house headed to Piscinas, some to surf and some to watch (I took pictures of the surfers) and it was really nice to watch the sunset (it was beautiful) before we headed back to make veggie burgers.

On Saturday we decided to take a hike to the caves so the people who hadn’t been yet could experience them! We ended up walking eight miles (round trip) on the dusty roads, having lots of interesting and fun conversations, occasionally running ahead of the others and scaring people, and listening for Cortarramas (the endangered bird). We reached the caves and scrambled down the ropes, spent time bouldering on some of the cliffs, exploring the caves (there were a lot of bats), chasing the little red crabs, and trying to spot blue-footed boobies. It was a great adventure and was a wonderful last outing with the big crew of volunteers. We also briefly met a big group of Peruvians who were on vacation, and we took a picture with them! They seemed excited to meet so many foreigners in a pretty random place. Capullana caves is definitely one of my favorite places in the area; it’s really beautiful and with a bit of work (cleaning up litter, making the ropes a little safer, doing some research on the ecosystem) it would be an amazing place for ecotourism! 

The EcoTeam at Capullana Caves!

It’s weird to have so few people in the house now, and I already miss everyone that has left, but it’ll be nice to have some down time to focus on preparing for Patagonia and finishing up my work here. Only one more week here in Lobitos, and I’m definitely ready to head down south, meet new people, travel around, and spend time hiking around some of the most beautiful mountains and environments in the world! I miss everyone and home (I hear the smoke is finally going away), and I’m excited to head back to school too!

[builder051]

Ignite your bones

Thank you @sickandvomiting for creating this wonderful image.  Thank you to @sxldati for everything else.

Let me assuage your confusion before launching into it:  This illustration is the cover image, but it goes with chapter 21.  Right now you’re about to read chapter 1.  When you finish reading on here, click the link at the bottom of the post and jam on over to AO3 to read the rest.  

And just a couple housekeeping things:  This is an AU.  It’s full of whump from beginning to end, but there’s not sickness in every chapter.  There’s a ton of angst, some dark topics, and a lot of LGBT-related issues.  So, prepare yourselves.

Ok.  Here we go.

1.0 JAMES, Wednesday 07 January 2015, 1746 hours.  Shield Apartments.

The first night in his apartment is terrible.  James doesn’t know what to do with himself.  The rented furniture feels awkward in the small space.  It’s too soft and homey to be like anything he sat or slept on at Walter Reed or back in Afghanistan, but it’s too impersonally stiff to remind him of similar pieces in his childhood home.  

He supposes he should settle in, empty the clothes and papers and random bits of memorabilia from his suitcase, or maybe hang something on the wall.  But one-handedly maneuvering his shirts onto slick plastic hangers is confusing, and the command hook he attempts to stick up doesn’t find purchase on the still-damp paint. The hook tumbles to the hardwood floor, along with his Army recruitment poster, with a sound a little too reminiscent of an IED explosion.

James hits the floor on his stomach and quickly draws his legs up underneath him so he’s perched with the crown of his head pressed against the leg of the sofa and his nose jammed into the ground.  His quivering breath makes a fog on the wood’s varnish, and shadows dance around his visual field, creating the illusion there’s something flickering in the corners of the room.  The overhead fixture is set up with cheap, low-wattage bulbs that don’t do much to take the living room out of the oppressive dusk falling outside.

A lamp, James thinks.  He needs a lamp.  And a rug.  He can’t afford any of it, as his disability checks barely cover the subsidized rent, but making a list of future purchases helps drown out the echo of the imaginary explosion still sounding in his ears.  Maybe he’d like a radio.  Or DVD player.  

So he can watch stupid action movies with sound effects that are too loud and too triggering?  Where the fuck is he going to get movies to watch, anyway?  James sighs, shakes his head into the wood under his face.  It’s a stupid idea.

Night has truly arrived by the time he sits up, throwing his weight back onto his heels.  The open blinds show him a view of the full moon hanging almost level with the streetlamp at the end of the block.  The light is comforting, until James’s gaze unfocuses and the view starts to look like a huge pair of beady, glowing eyes staring back at him and he has to scramble lopsidedly to his feet and twist the rod until the slats of the dusty blinds close.

James doesn’t know what time it is because he doesn’t have a clock.  The burner flip phone the VA generously gave him along with the keys to his apartment sits on the edge of the kitchen counter beside a welcome to your new home cupcake on a paper plate.  The phone should tell him what time it is. The cupcake will have to be dinner since there isn’t any other food in the house. But James isn’t keen to interact with either.  

He’s had the phone for the same six-odd hours he’s had the apartment, but James has barely touched it.  He isn’t even sure he can open the clamshell design with his singular large, fumbling hand.  Let alone unfold the top of the box, get out the charger, plug it into the wall, and somehow worm the exposed end into the phone itself.  He supposes he’ll have to grip the little device between his knees…

Planning and problem solving are good things.  The few short sessions James had with the psychologist before he was discharged from the hospital told him that.  As time passes and he goes to various therapies and his memories start to come back, James should be able to lead a normal life again.  Not that he particularly believes it.  He’s too stuck in the present, where everything feels difficult, or foreign, or both.  

He remembers waking up in a field hospital outside Kandahar.  When the attending physicians had told him he’d been rescued from the wreckage of the explosion of what looked like a Taliban prisoner transport vehicle, James had just blankly nodded.  That sounded…plausible.  He knew his name.  That he was American and an Army Sergeant.  Afghanistan made sense.  Therefore so did the Taliban.  But beyond that, James was blank.  He didn’t know his favorite color, his favorite food, his closest living relative.

Much of it’s still missing from James’s mind.  He still doesn’t know what he likes to eat; everything tastes bad and sends him retching into the toilet half the time.  He does know his dad died after a stroke while he was deployed, and perhaps that’s why his mom can’t stand to look at him, gaunt and trembly as he is.  His sister thinks he’s out for cash and doesn’t seem to understand that losing his arm does in fact make him very much disabled.  So he’s on his own—really on his own, now that the VA’s deemed him fit enough to live independently.

James seriously doubts their decision, now that he’s standing frozen beside the window, not sure if he wants to sit down or lie down or plug in the television or burst into one-armed jumping jacks to burn through some of the nervous energy bubbling inside him.  The mere fact  that he has the choice to do whatever he wants is overwhelming.  He had free will back in the hospital, but everything there was structured around routine.  The first nurse’s visit at 7:00, followed by breakfast at 8:00 and PT at 10:30… His day was scheduled hour-by-hour right up to dinner at 6:00 and the last nurse’s visit at 9:00 at night.  

It’s dark outside.  It has to be after 6:00.  He’s missed dinner.  James crosses the apartment’s solitary room into the alcove that serves as the kitchen and tears the plastic wrap off the cupcake.  Half the frosting sticks to the clear cover, leaving the cake looking pitted and halfway bald.  James doesn’t care, though.  The frosting has the dripping, gelatinous look of toothpaste, and that’s one thing he’s firmly decided he doesn’t like.

James imprecisely pinches the cupcake wrapper between his thumb and index finger, peeling it down and getting a smear of sticky sugar across the backs of his knuckles.  He licks them out of instinct, mixing the sweet goo with saliva on his tongue and swallowing hard.  His hand is damp and feels weird as he finishes dispensing with the flexible paper wrapper. James lifts the cake to his mouth.  

It takes three bites to demolish the dessert, and he barely chews.  The softness sticks to the sides of his throat and takes repeated swallows to force it down.  James is instantly full and bordering on nauseated as the spongy texture expands upon contact with his empty stomach.  Cake crumbs and crystals of frosting cling to his fingertips, and he can taste the sweetness along with the metallic saltiness of his skin as he presses the thumb-side of his fist against his lips to hold down a belch.  

Warmth builds in James’s throat.  At first it feels nice.  Comforting.  Until suddenly it doesn’t.  He pounds across the wood floor and skids into the bathroom, falling to his knees with bruising force and hanging his head over the toilet seat.  James heaves hard, trying not to taste the now slightly acidic cake for a second time.  His stomach clears as quickly as it’d filled, but vertigo lingers, playing with gravity around his ears until it feels like his head is going to roll off across the floor.  

He reaches out for toilet paper to wipe his mouth, but there’s no roll on the holder.  James sighs.  He lashes out at the edge of the countertop.  The impact leaves his sticky knuckles smarting, and James mentally curses himself for being so stupid.  He would verbally too, but he thinks it’s wisest if his mouth stays closed for the time being.  

What kind of idiot moves into a new apartment with no basics?  No paper products, no cleaning supplies, no food.  James tries to make an internalized list like he did earlier with his imaginary household goods, but it’s harder to pick through essentials.  He’s never lived alone.  He barely knows what he needs, and everything seems like a waste of money anyway.   His stomach flips, and James makes a mental note to never eat again.  At least that’ll cut out the expense of food and toilet paper.

Continue reading!  Find all 29 chapters co-located on AO3.

[atmickeywhite]

2020 Favorite Albums

Hi friends,  So each year, I put together a list of 50 or so of my favorite albums on Twitter. This year, I’m shifting that to tumblr and using words, etc.. And fortunately, I took a long enough break from playing Wu-Tang in Brittany’s car to listen to new music. So a bit on music -- staying current on new music, making playlists, sharing with friends and learning the history has always had its way of cementing my memories. It’s been a great way to recall dreary bus rides and summer walks around Portage Park, the loneliness of working nights and the utter joy is was to become adults with Desirae.  2020 cranked the existential shit to 11.  In January, I had moved after a brutal 14-month situation in my last apartment. In February, my childhood friend’s little sister passed away. In March, the lockdowns happened. In April, I got fired. In May, I decided to move out of state. I spent a third of June traipsing around Chattanooga before finally moving there in mid-July. August was filled with impossibly long bike rides in the Georgia rain and summer heat. September was the heart of a frustrating job search and extensive dental work. COVID came roaring back in October. My anxiety caught up to me really hard in November and December hasn’t had the greatest start, either. That’s not to speak on what the homies went through this year, and it was a lot. But we keep it pushing.  The point is that life is constantly kicking our ass and these are fifty albums that helped me get some reprieve from all of that, whether is was listening or sharing or just going back and forth with Tyler about what’s new and relevant. To that end, this year saw the cementing of Griselda is a legacy street rap act, the rise of HAUS of ALTR as a preeminent techno label and surprise turns from artists that exist in a staid major-label milieu (Dua Lipa, Lil’ Uzi Vert). Stalwarts like Sada Baby, Shinichi Atobe, Angel Marcloid and Actress stayed on repeat. Jazz, metal and folk weirdos rear their head from time to time. Acts peaked and self-destructed. I left the individual writing of the albums to people get paid to be better than me at this stuff. History, context and a feel for what the albums sound like is more useful than me painting a picture of what riding your bike around Lookout Mountain with no breaks is like.  If you check any of these out and like what you hear, I highly encourage you to buy (directly from the artist’s Bandcamp page, if applicable). And remember, taste is built in cars, not in large public places.  25 Honorable Mentions: Anunaku - Stargate Anz - Loos In Twos (NRG) Arbor Labor Union - New Petal Instants Conway The Machine - From a King to a God Drive-By Truckers - The New OK Duval Timothy - Help Eartheater - Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin Eiko Ishibashi - Impulse of the Ribbon Fiona Apple - Fetch The Bolt Cutters Four Tet - Sixteen Oceans Gabriel Garzon-Montano - Aguita GB - 186.22 Ian William Craig - Red Sun Through Smoke Jerry Paper - Abracadabra  Kali Uchis - Sin Miedo Lucinda Williams - Good Souls, Better Angels Machinedrum - A View of You Margo Price - That’s How Rumors Get Started Mary Lattimore - Silver Ladders MJ Guider - Sour Cherry Bell Park Hye-Jin - How can I Quelle Chris / Chris Keys - Innocent Country 2 Ringo Deathstarr - Ringo Deathstarr Soul Glo - Songs To Yeet At The Sun Trees Speak - Shadow Forms

50 - A Pregnant Light - You Cannot Pour From An Empty Vessel "These songs were written and recorded in 2017, and in a haze of... well, just imagine the bad sort of things that cause a haze over one's life. These songs were lost. In the process of cleaning out some tapes and recording sessions, these songs were found and completed in 2020. It's a bridge between where APL was three years ago, and now. It was so strange to hear these forgotten songs and go in and finish them. It was like collaborating with a person I used to know. It was an odd experience, but turned out fruitful." - A Pregnant Light Bandcamp Page 49 - Rian Treanor - File Under UK Metaplasm "We hardly need any convincing on the quality of Rian Treanor's productions as he's been completely unfuckwithable from day one, but "File Under UK Metaplasm" is still next damn level.Rian bashed out the initial demos on returning from a trip to Uganda in 2018 for Nyege Nyege Festival. Inspired by the producers he'd collaborated with in Kampala, he switched up his workflow and began jamming out ideas at higher tempos, harnessing the energy of singeli music without simply carbon copying the style. Initial sketches were eventually fleshed into proper tracks and tested on audiences (and on soundsystems) around the world where Rian could assess the power of each element.It was worth the hard work, the result is a fiery set of tunes that sound like everything at once and nothing at all. Opener 'Hypnic Jerks' is ragged kick-bubbling 200-bpm club on secondment to Tanzania; 'Vacuum Angle' is wobbly DMT-step that sounds like an attempt to use aging educational computer software to power the Stargate; 'Mirror Instant' is shuffling bassline house kicked up to 45rpm; 'Opponent Process' is EP7-era Autechre with the fun switch turned on; 'Debouncing' is double-speed grime that glides into parts unknown. By the time the album reaches a close on 'Orders From The Pausing', a melancholic gabber tune with an almost inverted, whisper-soft kick (?), Rian suddenly introduces reverb to the mix, just because he can.Peerless, unfathomably inventive electronic music from the North of England, via East Africa - fucking essential." - Boomkat Product Review 48 - Sex Swing - Type II “Fuck,” I thought when I first heard it. “This really, really rocks.” - Adam Lehrer, The Quietus

47 - Yves Tumor - Heaven to a Tortured Mind

"In that way, Heaven to a Tortured Mind is the most straightforward record in Tumor’s catalog. It’s an album with commercial, or at least mass, appeal in mind. And it seems to confirm something Tumor hinted at in a 2016 interview about their musical aspirations: “I only want to make hits. What else would I want to make?” The product of this ambition is a gratifying and intense record, one whose pleasures are viscerally immediate. Above all, it’s loads of fun to watch Tumor don the guise of a devilish rockstar. It’s not exactly a new archetype in our cultural imagination, but the ravishing delight Tumor brings to this character is what makes their music so affecting. Yves is a performer whose roles, played with the utmost rigor, always find a way to linger in the memory." - Kevin Lozano, Pitchfork

46 - DJ Taye - PYROT3K

"Pop music moves fast: new instructional-dance songs, new Drake songs, and new instructional-dance songs by Drake can bombard the zeitgeist one week and all but evaporate the next. Footwork, the lightning-fast Chicago-born house subgenre, is well suited to capture that frenetic pace. Young footwork master and Teklife member DJ Taye instinctively understands how to combine footwork’s adrenaline rush with the pop’s euphoric glee to build tracks with a distinctive energy. Last month he self-released Pyrot3k, the third entry in the Pyrotek mixtape series he launched in October. On the latest volume—also available in a deluxe version called Pyrot3k (SS)—he focuses on blissful melodies and antsy samples. On “Gang,” for example, he loops a snippet of JackBoys’ “Gang Gang” into a hypnotic koan at a speed that makes the original sound like it’s stuck in the mud. Several of Taye’s friends, including Teklife members DJ Earl and Heavee, join in on the fun, and I’m especially partial to his collaboration with Night Slugs label owner James Connolly, aka L-Vis 1990. On “Parade Float,” the two producers whimsically intertwine Morse code beeps and battering-ram gabber-style kick drum to manifest a cartoonish energy that seems to gather itself and balloon outward during the song’s tiny silences. - Leor Galil, Chicago Reader

45 - Hudson Mohawke - Poom Gems

"At the moment, nothing can stop Hudson Mohawke. After a hiatus from his solo work, the Scottish producer started his summer by releasing his first single under his HudMo title since 2016, “BENT” with JIMMY EDGAR. Since then, he’s only upped the ante, with his inexhaustible activity culminating in his first solo LP in four years, Big Booty Hiking Exhibition. Now, HudMo is back with his second album in a month’s time.

Poom Gems can be thought of as a companion album to Big Booty Hiking Exhibition, as both comprised previously unreleased tracks that Mohawke has been sitting on. Like Big Booty Hiking Exhibition, Poom Gems ranges from some of HudMo’s most off-the-wall beats yet to his classic, unreplicable, and bombastic sound, though as a whole, Poom Gems is more accessible than it’s predecessor. After almost no announcement before Poom Gems‘ release, only one question remains: how much more is to come amid Mohawke’s return?" - Mitchell Rose, Dancing Astronaut

44 - Shinichi Atobe - Yes

"The stately, melodic techno and deep house made by Shinichi Atobe—a resident of Saitama City, just north of Tokyo—puts me in mind of his country's devotion to orderly calm. One of two non-European artists to appear on Basic Channel's legendary Chain Reaction imprint, Atobe took 13 years off before the archival Butterfly Effect album arrived via DDS in 2014. His re-emergence into the dance music world has been one of the decade's most welcome surprises.

Yes is his fifth album for DDS. Demdike Stare states their communication with Atobe is limited to a CD that arrives in the post every so often, "no words except for the track titles." The first circulated photo of Atobe was included with the Yes CD-R, perhaps to quell rumors Shinichi Atobe is an alias of another Chain Reaction artist. He's never granted an interview.

He doesn't need to. Each Atobe album feels like the latest installment in a serial novel, a body of work mysterious in its ability to mix calm rhythms and atmospheres with achingly beautiful melodies. As usual, Yes will sate the small group of obsessives that smash the pre-order on each new Atobe album. He's nearly always in top form. The title track's hopeful mix of synth and house-y piano stand up to Atobe's other melodic classics "Heat 1" and "The Butterfly Effect." "Lake 3" contains Atobe's most boisterous synth theme to date, the '90s Carl Craig-esque figure mixing with Atobe's signature sad piano and, in a novel twist, hand drums.

The progression in Atobe's work is incremental. Beyond the title-track, Yes mostly does away with the classy, tech house-style snap prevalent on 2018's Heat. For an artist that emerged as a model of consistency, Atobe takes a surprising amount of left turns. The closing cut "Ocean 1" is Atobe's placid take on a synth-funk jam. The opener "Ocean 7" is beatless, with hectic arpeggios. In the background of that track, there's a peaceful drone that runs throughout. A similar tone runs in the background on the entirety of "Lake 3." These touches imbue Atobe's sonic world with its own concept of gaman, enveloping the listener in an eerie sense of calm." - Matt McDermott, Resident Advisor

43 - Various Artists - HOA 012

"Did you think we were done?

The story is not over, but only beginning. HOA012, We come together as a unit, to continue our story. A story that needs to be told. For those of you just joining us, welcome. For those of you returning, welcome back. Now fully on the path, we march toward a future of unabashed black electronic expression." - HAUS of ALTR bandcamp page

42 - Garcia Peoples - Nightcap At Wits' End

"New Jersey-based avant-jam band Garcia Peoples were a little slow to take shape, but after the release of their excitable 2018 album Cosmic Cash, they switched into overdrive. Constant live performances, residencies, concert documents, and prolifically recorded studio albums tracked a creative development that morphed from record to record. The group took cues from the open-ended improvisation of classic jam band acts like Phish and the Grateful Dead, but also incorporated dual-guitar wizardry on par with Television or, in their more Southern-fried moments, the Allmann Brothers. For their 2019 album One Step Behind, the band expanded to a six-piece lineup and added avant-jazz touches to the equation as they stretched out over the course of a half-hour-long title track. With Nightcap at Wits' End, Garcia Peoples shift gears yet again, with a set of neatly composed and relatively concise tunes that distill their wandering impulses into easily digestible forms. This can take the form of rowdy prog-lite tunes like album opener "Gliding Through" or the shadowy but mystical folk-rock of "Altered Place." In this more composed rock mode, the band recalls the shadowy mystique of early Bay Area psychedelic giants like Jefferson Airplane as much as they do obscure acts like Anonymous and Relatively Clean Rivers. After a lively start, the album shifts into mellower territory with the drifty "Fire of the Now." "Painting a Vision That Carries" is made up of delicate vocal harmonies and a dynamic structure that goes from controlled acoustic segments to blasting verses and back. As this song burns on into a vamping jam, the band's Dead-like tendencies come to the surface with noodling guitar leads and dazzling group interplay. The second half of Nightcap at Wits' End becomes a string of woozy and meandering pieces that blur into one another in clouds of hazy jamming. Themes resurface as the band shuffles through meditative riffing on "Crown of Thought," Krautrock-y interludes, and the blissfully droning Popol Vuh-esque "A Reckoning." Garcia Peoples' excellent psychedelia manages to recall moments from past masters while still offering a chemistry and composition unique to the band. Nightcap at Wits' End is the most complete articulation of their wide-reaching creative range, and stands as the their most focused and engaging work to date." - Fred Thomas, AllMusic

41 - Nonlocal Forecast - Holographic Universe(s)?

"Angel Marcloid's recordings as Nonlocal Forecast focus the trajectory of a vast catalog squarely in the realm of retro Weather Channel-inspired smooth jazz fusion, intricate prog, and expansive new age experiments. Trading off a measure of the typically overloaded compositional style found in other projects to favor lush atmospheres and relatively pared down arrangements, Marcloid populates Nonlocal Forecast pieces with progressive keyboard and synth harmonies, complex drum programming, and majestic leads performed on guitar, keyboards, and guests' saxophones. The project runs alongside the omni-combinatory works of the flagship project Fire-Toolz and many other monikers including the vapor-focused works of Mindspring Memories. Holographic Universe(s?)!, the second Nonlocal Forecast full-length and the first to be released on vinyl, follows Bubble Universe! with a cycle of songs that elevates Marcloid's grandiose compositions to previously undiscovered heights, while packing the music with dramatic shifts that allow it to journey off into dynamic new directions." - Fatbeats product summary

40 - Black Dresses - Peaceful As Hell

"The Canadian noise-pop duo’s music conjures a psychotic slumber party, or a Second Life rave, but remains grounded in the bittersweet beauty of lifelong friendship. " - Leah Mandel, Pitchfork

39 - Kelly Lee Owens - Inner Song

"Owens’ self-titled debut album played with sounds that felt spiritual, almost new age, like the tablas on “S.O.” and sitar drone on “8.” On Inner Song, that meditative quality comes less from instrumental texture and more from the actual form of the songs. Though she drifts across tempos and dabbles with a variety of drum patterns, loops—both instrumental and lyrical—provide the record’s through line. On “Wake-Up,” life’s circular patterns are made explicit: “Wake up/Repeat again/Again.” Owens writes with clarity and simplicity, using her own voice as something like a synthesizer, processing a phrase and then repeating it as she sings subtle variations in timbre and tone. Her lyrics are, in their own quiet way, a celebration of the pleasures of solitude and self-love." - Nathan Smith, Pitchfork

38 - Pink Siifu - Negro

"The core of NEGRO is defined by its antipathy for police. “DeadMeat” was inspired by a harrowing incident in New York, where a black cop threatened his life for jumping a subway turnstile. Siifu recorded “DeadMeat” the next day, reeling from the fact that someone of his race would treat him with such unmitigated hate. It begins with Siifu repeating the police officer’s threat verbatim and ends with him drawing the distinction between police officers and “pigs.” - Max Bell, Bandcamp Daily

37 - Charli XCX - How I'm Feeling Now

"Our homes have become offices, churches, mutual aid hubs, child- and eldercare centers. Every inch of space has been claimed by a corner of life, worn from multi-purpose use, yet hopefully loved and lived in. But the home — even just one room strung with cheap lights — can also be a refuge to dance through your emotion. how i'm feeling now — an album whose title says everything, and whose music has a rave intimacy that reaches beyond quarantined walls — doesn't just capture the mood, but the modes of our survival. Charli XCX collaborated remotely with trusted producers (A. G. Cook, Danny L Harle) and new ones (BJ Burton, 100 gecs' Dylan Brady), to lean harder into the buzzing-yet-glam-blammed hyper-pop that she's explored in recent years. While the aural abrasion amplifies our collective WTF, turnt up on video chats and pining for reckless nights, the core of how i'm feeling now deepens around the loving bonds forged in close quarters." - Lars Gotrich, NPR Music

36 - Armand Hammer - Shrines

"Shrines boasts a larger roster of producers and featured artists than any of the group’s past work. Many of them were already members of the duo’s tight-knit, avant-garde circle: Curly Castro, Fielded, Kenny Segal, Messiah Muzik, R.A.P. Ferreira, Quelle Chris. A woozy instrumental (“Bitter Cassava”) and verse (“Ramses II”) by Earl Sweatshirt suggest that Armand Hammer could soon extend their reach even further. In this fraught time, the camaraderie on Shrines feels intentional. In 2018, Elucid told Pitchfork that his music is about bringing like minds together, to feel like “we’re fighting against the same evil.” Shrines is a confirmation that the more people who put those sunglasses on, the better." - Christina Lee, Bandcamp Daily

35 - Bad Bunny - Yo hago lo que me de la gana

"From the moment Bad Bunny's sophomore album begins, over a synthesized interpolation of bossa nova staple "The Girl From Ipanema," the Puerto Rican superstar leans heavily on past classics to breathe new life into Latin trap. El Conejo is, for the most part, done missing his ex jeva for now — instead he's dressing up as his female alter ego to call out creeps at the club, de-stigmatizing a particular romantic pursuit on a perreo-fueled symphony, and rocking out to his own success on an emo-trap anthem. YHLQMDLG is an homage to the reggaeton bangers that raised Bunny, complete with collabs from some of the greatest vets in the game, including Daddy Yankee, Ñengo Flow and Jowell & Randy. It's an album steeped in nostalgia for the garage-party-perreo of the early-aughts, but with a modernity that forecasts a bright future for urbano — even one that may find Bad Bunny (if you believe the album title) permanently tapping out. He does what he wants, and he gets away with it, too." - Isabella Gomez Sarmiento, NPR

34 - Popcaan - FIXTAPE

"In its mix form, Fixtape is framed as an epic tale in which Popcaan shares moments along his route to dancehall’s most prominent torchbearers. Instead of starting with the self-produced “Chill,” the SoundCloud version begins with melodramatic piano strokes, almost reminiscent of the theme song to The Young and the Restless. Those key hits grow into a symphonic instrumental adaptation of Popcaan’s 2011 hit “Only Man She Want,” and soon after, the first two non-Poppy voices you hear are a drop from incarcerated icon Vybz Kartel and audio of Drake’s praise at the first Unruly Fest in December 2018. Though even novice Popcaan listeners already know these affiliations, starting the project in this way is like flexing for the mirror, a moment of self-affirmation before proving it to the world. So it makes sense that the first song on this version of the tape, “Killy Dem Crazy,” is Popcaan trying his hand at Nas and Diddy’s Trackmasters-produced classic “Hate Me Now”—the perfect “fuck whoever don’t like it” gesture." - Lawrence Burney, Pitchfork

33 - Drakeo The Ruler - Thank You For Using GTL

"Since the genre's inception, the voice in rap has been sped up, glitched out, chopped and screwed, slowed and reverbed, all to convey textures and feelings that language alone cannot. On Thank You For Using GTL, Drakeo The Ruler's was shrunk to fuzz, transmitted through a jail phone. The intent wasn't to create a mood, but to create something, to continue a career that was snatched away. At the time, Drakeo had spent most of the three years prior in Los Angeles' notorious Men's Central Jail, and nine of those months in solitary confinement, first battling a murder charge he'd be acquitted of, then a gang conspiracy charge that the prosecution built out of his lyrics and music videos. He was suddenly freed in November on a plea deal, days before L.A. county district attorney Jackie Lacey lost her seat to the more progressive George Gascón. His lawyer, John Hamasaki, told NPR that "if the case had been continued to January, it probably would have been dismissed by [Gascón's] office."

Even when transmitted across a scummy phone line, Drakeo's sneer cuts like a knife. Submerged in static and woven over JoogSZN's brooding instrumentals, his raps feel suspended in a constant denouement, transient and purgatorial, as he probes at the suits trying to end his life. "It might sound real, but it's fictional / I love that my imagination gets to you," he raps on the final track. What isn't fiction are the cruel and convoluted circumstances that shaped GTL, that cost its creators thousands of dollars to record while profiting a billion dollar telecom company, and that continue to take lifetimes away from Black men." —Mano Sundaresan, NPR

32 - Nathan Fake - Blizzards

"Blizzards has almost no breaks or meanders, just relentless club music adorned with beautiful melodies. In taking stock of his music and returning to his fundamentals, Blizzards highlights everything Fake is good at: the way his drums tend to dance in between established genres, melodies that sound like a warped Boards Of Canada record, the constant push-and-pull of dark and light. It's more of a reset than a reinvention, a return to the earnest simplicity that made him a wunderkind all those years ago." - Andrew Ryce, Resident Advisor

31 - Dj Diaki - Balani Fou

"The absorption of multiple streams of African electronic music into a western club milieu has been patchy. Where styles like kwaito and gqom have slotted into house and bass idioms, and kuduro has made an impact via diasporic scenes like the one in Lisbon, the harder and faster styles—like Shangaan electro and the emergent singeli sound from Dar Es Salaam—haven't easily found a foothold. When they do appear, they're often an anomalous peak in a DJ set from which it's hard to climb down. But with the current vogue for speedy techno and other hard dance sounds, along with the interest in singeli and other belting East African sounds, Diaki's Crazy Balani couldn't have smashed its way to the dance floor at a better time." - Chal Ravens, Resident Advisor

30 - Caribou - Suddenly

"Dan Snaith’s latest is as sly and layered as ever, but he finds ways to be more direct with his songwriting. There are no bum notes, no wasted motions, no corners of the audio spectrum left untouched. " - Phillip Sherburne, Pitchfork

29 - Deradoorian - Find The Sun

"The LP’s guitar-centric approach is a bit of a surprise, but Deradoorian isn’t a stranger to big riffs. She’s done stints in bands like Dirty Projectors and Avey Tare’s Slasher Flicks; more recently, she’s been ripping it up as the vocalist of BSCBR (aka Black Sabbath Cover Band Rehearsals), filling Ozzy Osborne’s shoes alongside artists like Yeah Yeah Yeahs guitarist Nick Zinner and drumming virtuoso Greg Fox. Find the Sun never reaches Paranoid levels of bombast, but it’s easily her brawniest solo record to date. Songs like “Saturnine Night” and closer “Sun” channel the psychedelic swagger of ’70s giants like the Doors and Led Zeppelin, while the rubbery bassline and surging guitar chords of album highlight “It Was Me” bring to mind the likes of Nirvana and Hole—or at least the times when those bands emulated indie pop groups like the Vaselines and Young Marble Giants.

But Find the Sun shouldn’t be mistaken for an exercise in rock worship. The influence of Can looms large, and Deradoorian’s music is still psychedelic, weird, and seemingly primed for a hallucinogenic trip to the outer recesses of the human psyche. With its motorik groove and dramatic talk-singing, “The Illuminator” sounds like a freaky, nine-minute-long outtake from Andy Warhol’s Factory, while the slinky “Devil’s Market” recalls the space-age lounge music once championed by bands like Stereolab. “Saturnine Night” does feature growling guitars, but they’re paired with an unkempt Krautrock rhythm that could have been pulled from Neu! 2, along with a dramatic, PJ Harvey-esque vocal turn from Deradoorian, who belts out brooding lines like “Innocence/In my death” and, simply, “I die.” - Shawn Reynolds, Pitchfork

28 - Thundercat - It Is What It Is

"Left savoring the tasty morsels of 2017's critically-acclaimed Drunk and 2018's Drank (its "chopped not slopped" remix album), it was an absolute pleasure to sink hungry ears into Thundercat's It Is What It Is this year. The bassist born Stephen Bruner blurs genre boundaries, dishing out dizzying acrobatics on "How Sway," beefy funk vibes on "Black Qualls" (featuring Steve Lacy, Steve Arrington and Childish Gambino) and cheeky R&B hilarity on "Dragonball Durag." Coproduced by longtime collaborator Flying Lotus, It Is What It Is drips with curtains of lush vocals. The album chronicles a broken heart's analysis of grief and its subsequent recovery by asking probing questions and finding joy where it can to survive pain, uncertainty, rejection and isolation. It's an enchanting tale of hope and growth in a year that served us heaping portions of gloom and melancholy" - Nikki Birch, NPR

27 - Against All Logic - 2017-19

"That Beyoncé is the first voice we hear on 2017 - 2019 is instructive of the bold new direction. Hers and Sean Paul's vocals are lifted from "Baby Boy" and layered over a crackling broken beat, an uncanny string-like instrument and inviting synth chords. A sample of Luther Ingram's 1972 soul song "(If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right" appears on track two, a degraded house cut, thus establishing a template of sorts: 2017 - 2019 is an album of stylistic leaps, radiant melodies, difficult-to-place sounds and red herrings. Back-to-back opening tracks with instantly recognisable sample flips, for example, sets up an expectation of many more to follow. Instead, there are none. That is unless you can spot the source of the hip-hop loop on "With An Addict." Jaar casually filters it into the arrangement to create a half-time contrast with the main drums, a rolling footwork/jungle-style pattern that features percussion reminiscent of the "Apache" break. The poignant, daybreak melody caps a track that bundles the album's strongest qualities." - Ryan Keeling, Resident Advisor

26 - Adrian Younge / Ali Shaheed Mohammad - Jazz Is Dead 001

"Adrian Younge and Ali Shaheed Muhammad both have impressive resumes as purveyors of modern soul, jazz, and hip-hop. Younge, a bassist, keyboardist, composer, and producer, has scored films such Black Dynamite and collaborated with artists ranging from Philly soul legends the Delfonics to Wu-Tang Clan's Ghostface Killah. Meanwhile, Muhammad was a member of A Tribe Called Quest and has worked on various projects outside that group. Together, Younge and Muhammad formed the Midnight Hour, a versatile band that brought a modern edge to retro soul and jazz sounds." - Rich Wilhelm, popMatters

25 - The Soft Pink Truth - Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase

"Drew Daniel's latest LP as The Soft Pink Truth, Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase, is a stunner that revels in communitas while flirting with house music and ambient tropes" - Bernie Brooks, the Quietus

24 - Jessy Lanza - All The Time

"The early days of writing All the Time, Jessy Lanza's first album since 2016's Oh No, marked a sea change for Jessy and her creative partner Jeremy Greenspan. After Oh No, Jessy left her hometown of Hamilton to go and live in New York. Written long distance for the first time, across Jessy’s new set up in New York to Jeremy’s home studio in Hamilton, and finishing in the recording studio Jeremy had been working on during this period.

Even though the move to New York and the change in remote working was tough, 'All the Time' has turned out to be the most pure set of pop songs the duo has recorded; reflective and finessed over the time and distance they allowed it. Innovative juxtapositions sound natural, such as rigid 808’s rubbing against delicate chords in 'Anyone Around', unusual underwater rushes underpin Baby Love . Jessy’s voice is treated, re-pitched and edited on songs like Ice creamy and gestural sounds seem to respond to her lyrics in songs such as Like Fire.

A lot of these sounds came from live take experiments using semi modular/modular equipment like Mother 32 and Dfam and Moog Sirin. Jessy says ‘We got all of the machines talking to one another and would run patterns through. A lot of the little burps and quacks and squiggles heard on songs like Anyone Around, Like 'Fire', 'Face', and 'Badly' are from those experiments. That’s when I’m having the most fun, making music and improvising through takes of the song and editing together all the best gurgle sounds afterwards’.

More than previously the lyrics on All The Time were an important focus for Jessy, articulating difficult feeling into her outwardly joyful music. ’Anger is a familiar and safe feeling for me. The album became a conversation with myself about why that is. Some songs refer to real and legitimate things to be angry about; 'Lick in Heaven' takes aim at what the culture expects from women. The cynicism I felt towards the people around me kept coming up and All the Time is an exploration into those feelings and a conversation with myself about other possibilities when it comes to my outlook on life.’

As the final elements of the album were being put in place, everything changed overnight. Her European tour was cut short and she flew back to New York quickly, plans for the foreseeable future dissolved. Whatsmore her lease was up on her apartment and she couldn’t find another in New York due to quarantine restrictions, so she packed what she could into her van and drove to San Francisco to be near her family, stopping on the way in increasingly empty motels as she journeyed from coast to coast.

‘Even though All the Time was written in 2019 the themes feel even more relevant now. Like a lot of people,I’m still struggling with the reality that life is hard to predict and it’s even harder not to make the same mistakes over again, trying to control what i’m able to and leave the rest.’ The cover photo of Jessy in her van was taken before these events , but it’s taken on more importance since. ‘Through many changing situations my minivan gives me comfort. It seems like such an American thing to say.m I realise it’s symbolic of a much larger existential struggle in my own life but regardless I wanted it to be a part of the album cover. Sitting in my van made me feel so comfortable and it’s rare for me to feel that.

All the time has ended up being a triumph, channeling difficult feelings into something that has whit energy and style. " - Jessy Lanza bandcamp page

23 - AceMoMA - A New Dawn

"AceMoMA connect back to their NYC forefathers (with nods to techno dons Derrick May and Jeff Mills), while also keeping a healthy disregard for the past, pushing ahead with palpable enthusiasm and energy. As Stevens explained in that same interview, “[As] brown people making dance music… we needed to create context for what we were doing. So we did.” Like the best moments of a night out, A New Dawn feels like instant history and an instant party." - Andy Beta, Pitchfork

22 - Adrianne Lenker - songs

"As a solo artist or with her band Big Thief, Adrianne Lenker has been at or near the top of my year-end lists for the past five years, more so than any other artist. The simultaneous strength and frailty in her voice attract me to her music. Earlier this year, she told NPR's All Things Considered host Mary Louise Kelly, "I was really sad, and I hit a wall — I kind of hit the bottom of myself and went to a pretty dark and sad space for a while. And the music itself, and writing these songs, was a thing that was getting me through it." The songs on songs were birthed in a one-room cabin in Western Massachusetts' mountains and recorded on an old Otari 8-track. We hear acoustic guitar, her voice, the sound of the cabin and whatever bugs and birds happen to be in the background of the poetic paintings she sings. The intimacy is magnetic" - Bob Boilen, NPR

21 - Trees Speak - Ohms

"The act of driving informs the music of Trees Speak, who take cues from the Autobahn-extolling music of classic Krautrock, specifically Kraftwerk. The roads green West Germany led Krautrock pioneers like Kraftwek to produce smooth, seamless electronic rhythms—but the rugged, dusted Sonoran Desert of southern Arizona leads Trees Speak to a more rough hewn electronic sound." - d mittleman, Aquarium Drunkard

20 - 21 Savage / Metro Boomin - Savage Mode II

"Ultimately, though, ‘Savage Mode II’ feels like a throwback: one rapper and one producer focused on a single creative project. Think Eric B and Rakim; Missy Elliot and Timbaland; Method Man and RZA. Their collaborators, such as Drake and Young Thug (the latter on ‘Rich N**ga Shit’, an anthemic rap about their lavish lifestyles), ably support, stepping in occasionally to craft the project into a more well-rounded shape.

‘Savage Mode II’ allows the Atlanta-based MC the space to make his point and cast all nonsense aside, letting his talent speak for itself. Metro Boomin, meanwhile, further showcases his generational abilities. As a whole, the album is confirmation of two young artists at the top of their game, watching the landscape unfold from the throne they earned themselves four years ago." - Dhruva Balram, NME

19 - Various Artists - HOA 010

"Ahead of the dawn, there could only be us...

HAUS of ALTR presents HOA010. Our second compilation, featuring the future of Black electronic music, and as the music as it exist in its current state. In these trying times, we come together to stake claim on the roots of techno and its potential future. Too Black, Too Strong." - HAUS of ALTR bandcamp page

18 - Emma Ruth Rundle / Thou - May Our Chambers Be Full

"Stemming out of an offer from Roadburn Festival organizer Walter Hoeijmakers, mutual acquaintances, and a shared love of each other’s output, May Our Chambers Be Full is the first recorded document of collaboration between Emma Ruth Rundle and Thou. While their solo material seems on its face to be quite disparate, both groups have spent their respective careers lurking at the outer boundaries of the heavy metal scene, the artists having more in common with DIY punk and its spiritual successor, grunge.

May Our Chambers Be Full straddles a similar, very fine line both musically and thematically. While Emma Ruth Rundle’s standard fare is a blend of post-rock-infused folk music, and Thou is typically known for its downtuned, doomy sludge, the conjoining of the two artists has created a record more in the vein of the early ’90s Seattle sound and later ’90s episodes of Alternative Nation, while still retaining much of the artists’ core identities. Likewise, the lyrical content of the album is a marriage of mental trauma, existential crises, and the ecstatic tradition of the expressionist dance movement. “Excessive sorrow laughs. Excessive joy weeps.” Melodic, melancholic, heavy, visceral." - Thou Bandcamp page

17 - Mong Tong - Mystery

"For Mystery秘神, they imagined a version of ancient Asia where all of the continent’s superstitions were real, and wrote a record based on how that world would sound. Their songs usually consist of a lolloping bassline, a snakey guitar lead, and campy synths that could perfectly soundtrack both an ‘80s crime flick and a highly stylized video game. Their sound evokes the simultaneous futurism and nostalgia of vaporwave, and the duo consider it “sample-based” because of the post-production process, in which they cut up, loop, and re-pitch their jam sessions into structured songs. All of the percussion is constructed in Ableton; there are no vocals, but they do include a few soundbites from Taiwanese films and TV shows. (“Chakra,” for example, features a bit of a dialogue about the connection between aliens and Hinduism.)" - Eli Enis, Bandcamp Daily

16 - Sada Baby - Bartier Bounty 2

"His voice is at a-near constant sneer to match the furious pacing until the surprising collaboration with Dej Loaf that showcases a smoother version of the 27-year-old rapper. Street anthems like “Trap Withdrawals” approach standard topics of growing up hustling with bombastic brilliance. “Horse Play 2” even samples Linkin Park’s “In The End” and makes it work. Bartier‘s sequel takes all of Detroit’s current hip-hop momentum and propels it to Super Saiyan-level dominance thanks to Sada Baby’s need to experiment." - Patrick Johnson, Hypebeast

15 - Oranssi Pazuzu - Mestarin kynsi

"Even at nearly an hour in length, the album flies by, dense and vicious and evocative as a novel, as contemplative as the featureless gore of the cover art. I've had this promo for perhaps two full months now; I've listened to it nearly every day since then, often multiple times a day. I've commented before about a spate of records that were battling it out for the number one spot for me this year, and while that number has now expanded, the number then at least was three. One of them was Spectral Lore and Mare Cognitum's incredible progressive black metal split full-length. Another was Sweven's immaculate death metal debut. The third was this.

It's hard to deny that a certain strain of the listenership is right: this isn't black metal anymore. But this is for the best for Oranssi Pazuzu. The past seven years have seen them put out record after record that was better not only than the one before it but of the whole of their work. By Värähtelijä, they were scraping Hall of Fame territory. On Mestarin kynsi, they exceed it." - Langdon Hickman, Invisible Oranges

14 - Sunwatchers - Oh Yeah?

"The album’s title “Oh Yeah?” is at once an homage to Mingus, Thee Oh Sees’ album “Help” (whose Brigid Dawson hand-sewed the tapestry adorning the album’s front cover) and (naturally) the rallying cry of KoolBrave himself - the Kool-Aid Man-as-Braveheart avatar the band adopted as their symbol. The three years since the band’s second album (and TiM debut) “II” was released, has seen the band grace stages across the USA and Europe, enlisting more comrades in their mission of solidarity (sonically speaking) with every show." - Sunwatchers Bandcamp page

13 - Fire-Toolz - Rainbow Bridge

"Rainbow Bridge was made in part as a reflection on the death of Marcloid’s cat Breakfast, which explains in part the way the record swings back and forth between beauty and cacophony. Marcloid’s work as Fire-Toolz has always been about the way that these two emotional poles can coexist, but the way we deal with death is especially complicated. Even the most intense grief is braided with moments of peace and clarity, the beautiful memories of a life well-lived. Rainbow Bridge mirrors the intensity and the confusion of these experiences and shows that even in the direst times, it’s possible to find comfort." - Colin Joyce, Pitchfork

12 - Beatrice Dillon - Workaround

"Chain Reaction meets mid-20th-century minimalism with spectacular results." - Chal Ravens, Resident Advisor

11 - Dua Lipa - Future Nostalgia

At 24, Lipa has been working towards this moment for almost 10 years, and her sights are set higher still. A false start in modeling impressed the importance of going where you’re wanted; in Lipa’s case, to Warner Records, who sought a female pop icon to compete with the Rihannas and Lady Gagas of the world. She leveraged her talent as a songwriter, developing an early Dua Lipa single, “Hotter Than Hell,” in the first session with her prospective management team. Her sly swagger and fashion-plate style gave her the presence of someone who’d achieved diva status already. “I’m a bit too far down the line for anyone to try and tell me something,” she said of her creative autonomy in 2017, even before the release of her first record.

But where many of pop’s most recent stars are emphatically emotionally available, Lipa radiates blithe coolness. Her brand is style, competence, taste—this is, in a way perhaps not obvious to those who actually remember the ’80s, entirely tasteful pop music—and the sultry low voice that makes her the star of even a middling Martin Garrix collab. Future Nostalgia is nonstop, no ballads; for 10 tracks, the closest it comes to feeling vulnerable or revealing is “Pretty Please,” a plea for stress-relief sex with an ultra-thick bassline. When Lipa proclaims, “You got me losing all my cool/’Cause I’m burning up on you,” on the Tove Lo cowrite “Cool,” she rhymes it with, “In control of what I do.” - Anna Gaca, Pitchfork

10 - Jasmine Infiniti - Bxtch Slap

"It’s building on that myth of being The Queen of Hell and how as a black trans woman, often just existing in this world feels hellish. The things that I have personally had to go through and that many other black trans women endure, it’s almost as if we are existing in hell already. It’s kind of like, well if I’m already here, I might as well live it up and find the best parts of this existence that I can. It’s about embracing that hell vibe. If I’m already here then I’m gonna be debaucherous and party to all hours of the morning. I want it to reflect that, but also have a little bit of sadness, a little bit resentfulness and a little bit anger, but also happiness and joy. It’s about taking hell and having fun with it." - Jasmine Infiniti, Vice

9 - Actress - Karma & Desire

"Karma & Desire bears the sonic touchstones of his landmark full-lengths like R.I.P. and AZD, but it also represents a profound shift in Cunningham's approach. For the first time, he's invited friends to help out. "I just wanted to give Actress a voice, basically, to use vocal performances from, like, a muse perspective really," he recently told Bandcamp Daily.

Despite several rave-worthy tracks voiced by the LA artist Aura T-09, this is not Actress's vocal house album, nor is it an album of pop songs. Instead, he utilizes the considerable vocal talents of artists like Zsela and Sampha in a signature Actress style, with snatches of stream-of-consciousness vocals rearranged into dreamlike sketches. The New York artist Zsela exhales "Destiny is stuck in heaven," on the burbling "Angels Pharmacy," before reprising the same theme on the very next track, "Remembrance." Just as hazy pads and white noise form motifs in Actress's catalogue, evocative phrases surface and resurface from the murk." Matt McDermott, Resident Advisor

8 - Lil Uzi Vert - Eternal Atake

"Few make rapping sound as purely fun as Lil Uzi Vert. His second album, Eternal Atake, arrived on the heels of a nearly three-year label dispute, yet it still sounds unburdened. The songs traffic in abundant imagination — words and syllables are deconstructed and restacked to form breathless cadences that explode across beats as funky as they are futuristic. When he chants "Balenci" enough times to void it of any meaning on "POP" or when he spits out a multibar hook that skirts repetition altogether (or, really, any qualities that usually make up a hook) as on "Homecoming," it's the chutzpah, but it's also the musicality of it all, the way the melodies are both instrument and a vehicle for lyrics. One of rap's most precise technicians, Uzi has been perfecting this craft since he began his career ascent in 2015, but Eternal Atake prompted us to hear the extraterrestrial — a world within worlds that's all his own." - Briana Younger, NPR

7 - bbyMutha - Muthaland

"Across Muthaland, bbymutha reclaims several words used to jab at her pride: “baby mama,” “slut,” “hoodrat.” She says them with her chest and siphons the negative energy in order to lift herself above the competition. It’s exhilarating, which makes the prospect of her early retirement all the sadder. Rap could use several more voices like hers. If Muthaland really is the last album bbymutha plans on releasing to the public, she’s brought us into her twisted world at its creative peak." Dylan Green, Pitchfork

6 - Jeff Parker - Suite for Max Brown

"The album is a mixture of live improvisations backed by drum loops. This was inspired by Parker’s time as a DJ. “I used to DJ a lot when I lived in Chicago,” Parker recently said. “I was spinning records one night and for about ten minutes I was able to perfectly synch up a Nobukazu Takemura record with the first movement of John Coltrane’s A Love Supreme and it had this free jazz, abstract jazz thing going on with a sequenced beat underneath. It sounded so good. That’s what I’m trying to do with Suite for Max Brown. Man vs. machine.” - Nick Roseblade, The Quietus

5 - GAIKA - Seguridad

"Brixton’s GAIKA has already proven himself a heavyweight via his releases on WARP Records, where he imbues the moodier end of dancehall, R&B, and Afrobeats with the kind of apocalyptic political vision you might expect from righteous roots reggae. Here, he’s teamed up with Mexico City’s NAAFI label, and eight members of their musical family. The music ranges from a reggaetón canter (“Maria”) to an almost drum-free crawl (“Nine Lives”); GAIKA’s hoarse voice, swimming through glutenous resonant autotune, draws it all together. It draws you into a zoned-out science fiction night time world, a Black Atlantic gothic cyberpunk fever dream that will haunt you long after it’s ended." - Joe Muggs, Bandcamp Daily

4 - Nazar - Guerrilla

"The roughest rough kuduro on Guerrilla lives up to the billing. Over charging horns and erratic snare sprints, "Arms Deal"'s midrange is filled with raging, Pollocky slashes of tapehead noise. "Why"'s 8-bit Sonic synths, Terrordrome trance leads and rap fragments are also fantastic. Guerrilla can be stealthy, too. Take "Fim-92 Stinger," a carnivalesque hip swinger with shades of the slinky batida from DJ Nigga Fox's Cartas Na Magna. It's a rare gem: fun, seductive, somewhat steady. You could even call it celebratory. But when Nazar says, "The ceasefire should at least last until the duration of this song," his pessimism resurfaces. Sure enough, the next track, "Immortal," illustrates what seems like a bullet-time detachment from conflict. It's possible to make out the ambience of the Angolan bush, stray gunfire and casual bravado, but the clearest sounds in its spectral quiet are an amped-up wheeze and the continuous loading of magazines. You're hearing the itch to fight." - Ray Philp, Resident Advisor

3 - Benny The Butcher - Burden of Proof

"With the help of Hit-Boy, Rick Ross, and Freddie Gibbs, Benny has another one for us to mob out to. At one point on this album, he says, “I don’t care about haters/ I only care about what hustlers think.” The proof is in the eating of the pudding. This is not for the meek. This is not for the golf courses. Benny never dives into nihilism. He knows his purpose, but the album is called Burden of Proof because if you are going to be on the streets, you have to prove who you are. Benny has done that and then some. The Butcher is here, and he isn’t respecting old arrangements. He runs this ship now." - Jayson Buford, Consequence of Sound

2 - Yaeji - What We Drew "But while What We Drew is more internalized than past releases, it is not conflicted; rather, Yaeji finds clarity in vulnerability, in the pendulum swing of her humanity. Crucially, the mixtape doesn’t turn its back on one of Yaeji’s strongest traits as an artist: Her music has always been deeply social, and now it is more gregarious than ever in its gratitude for those around her. Some of the best tracks are valentines to the friends and artists who fill Yaeji’s world—and she has been proactive building scenes, from New York to Seoul—and her appreciation for this community feels all the sweeter balanced with her revelations of struggle" - Stacey Anderson, Pitchfork 1 - Various Artists - HOA 011

"Back once again, we assume the role of Vanguard in the war against white supremacy in electronic music. We bring part 2 in a story of black technological expression, from the perspectives of some of its most prolific, alongside much needed new perspectives. HOA010 was a call for a new path. HOA011 we embark.

Too Black, Too Strong." - HAUS of ALTR bandcamp page

[darrencrissource]

Song List

Lost Boys Life

Every Single Night

The Damage

Same Old Situation

Show Review

A little while ago, alt-pop duo Computer Games stopped by the Baeble office for a stripped-down Baeble NEXT Session. While Computer Games is a new collaboration (they just released their first EP, Lost Boys Life, back in March), the members of the duo are pretty well seasoned in the music industry - the duo is comprised of brother Chuck and Darren Criss. Although they’ve always wanted to do a collaboration like this, the brothers initially ended up going their own ways and making their own names in music. Darren Criss has obviously made a big name for himself, creating the Youtube sensation Starkid and starring on Glee, while Chuck spent his time as a part of the indie-rock band Freelance Whales. Computer Games grew out of the brothers’ frequent basement jams from their childhood, and their regular songwriting collaborations.

For their Baeble NEXT Session, Computer Games performed some songs from their debut EP, including title track “Lost Boys Life” and “Every Single Night,” as well as a couple songs of older songs from the brother’s early days playing together; “Damage” and “Same Old Situation.” Beginning the session with a full backing band that includes drums, bass, piano, and the Criss’ on acoustic guitars, they strip it down for their last two songs, performing with nothing more than a couple of acoustic guitars and their harmonizing voices. Between songs, Chuck and Darren talk about their 80s-inspired songwriting, how their collaboration came about, and their goal of making music to make people happy. If you’re finding yourself in need of a little 80s alt-pop happiness, our newest NEXT session might do the trick.

Artist Bio

As high school kids, Darren Criss and his older brother Chuck spent nearly every afternoon playing music in their basement for hours upon hours. With Chuck on guitar and Darren on drums, the San Francisco natives tapped into everything from British power-pop to Bay Area punk to create their own rowdy breed of garage rock. Though they’d always planned on forming a bonafide band together, each ended up striking out on his own path: Darren embarked on a singing/acting career that included the creation of YouTube sensation StarKid, starring on Glee and in the next season of American Crime Story, and a string of successes on the Broadway stage. Meanwhile, Chuck joined acclaimed indie-rock act Freelance Whales, with whom he recorded and toured with as a multi-instrumentalist and songwriter for several years. But in 2016, the two finally decided it was the right time to revisit their teenage ambitions and launch a guitar-fueled alt-pop band that they’ve named Computer Games.

The basement was a really hallowed place for us growing up, and spending all that time knocking around and making music together is what made us into the people we are now, says Darren, lead singer for Computer Games. So to finally follow through on that dream, and start this band together after wanting it for so long it’s just wildly exciting for us.

With its blazing guitar solos and boundless energy, Computer Games debut EP Lost Boys Life perfectly captures the spirit of adolescent abandon. At the same time, Computer Games show a sharp sense of songcraft born from years of refining their musical vision. One of the things about this project being a long time coming is that were taking the kind of riffs that we would’ve played back in the basement, but adding different layers to turn it into something new to put out into the world, notes Chuck.

Darren and Chuck share songwriting duties for Computer Games, drawing on their indie sensibilities to build the ideal backdrop for their often-introspective lyrics. In the making of Lost Boys Life, Computer Games went for a chocolate-in-my-peanut-butter effect by enlisting the pop expertise of New York City-based music production team THE ELEV3N. Known for their work with artists like Meghan Trainor and Jesse McCartney, the Criss brothers hoped THE ELEV3Ns production sensibility would add a more contemporary, familiar sound to their initial left-of-center tracks. The result was just that: a shiny sheen polish on scrappy garage pop. And for the mixing of Lost Boys Lifean EP that gracefully blends raw live performance with electronic elements the band looked to their long-time hero, producer & mixer Tony Hoffer, whose responsible for a number of albums that shaped the Criss brothers musical background: Phoenix Alphabetical, The Thrills So Much For The City, and Becks Midnite Vultures, to name a few.

With the band name referencing a bit of low-key childhood mischief (As kids we weren’t allowed to play video games, but we had games on our computer so there was a loophole there, explains Chuck), Computer Games delights in what Darren refers to as nerdstalgia. As were crawling out of our 20s, a sentiment shared by the band is this eternal sense of nostalgia, which is something pretty prominent in nerd culture, he says. It’s about liking whatever you like, and not needing to ever apologize for that.

That nostalgia also extends to the pop heavyweights of the mid-80s, according to Chuck. A lot of bands seem influenced by the 80s right now, but they’re usually going for that darker, Blade Runner vibe, he says. We wanted to look at parts of the era that haven’t really been explored as inspiration some of the music that just super fun. Naming Miami Sound Machine, Lionel Richie, and Huey Lewis and the News among their reference points on Lost Boys Life, Computer Games channel that outrageous fun into a deeply melodic sound that feels both fresh and timeless.

The most unabashedly joyful track on Lost Boys Life, Every Single Night fuses jangly guitar riffs and intricate rhythms with huge harmonies and some Michael Jackson-esque vocal styling. I tried to crush those consonants and vowels and make as many phonetically inspired lyrical decisions as possible like how with Michael Jackson, ‘jam on is suddenly a really cool lyric, just because it sounds cool, says Darren. On We Like It, a flurry of handclap-backed acoustic strumming gives way to a soaring, soulful anthem that’s epic in scope and subtly defiant in the message. 'We Like It partly came from hearing people of my generation or older generations worrying about kids being glued to their phones, and how that’s such a cyclical concept like how our parents were worried about us being glued to the TV, and their parents were worried about them listening to rock-and-roll, says Darren. It’s about kids saying, 'This is our life and this is how we express ourselves, and we don’t have to explain that to anyone.

The EPs moodiest moment, the slow-burning Lost Boys Life merges its heavy beat with an intense synth riff inspired by the darkly glamorous vampires of the 1987 horror movie. In the lyrics, meanwhile, Computer Games slip into a dreamy romanticism that’s more autobiographical in nature. To me, that riff sounds like so many nights walking home alone in the city, whether it’s San Francisco or New York or L.A., says Darren. There’s an aimless quality to it, and the songs about finding meaning with someone after living an aimless Lost Boys life for so long.Throughout Lost Boys Life, Computer Games sculpt a kaleidoscopic sound that reflects their eclectic appetites. Listing early-90s grunge, late-90s pop, Led Zeppelin, Supergrass, and Spoon among their formative influences, the Criss brothers each started studying music as little kids. But while Chuck quit piano lessons early on, Darren kept up with violin and added guitar to his repertoire by elementary school. Chuck was a late-bloomer, which impressed me and made me jealous at the same time, says Darren. At some point in high school he got a banjo as a joke but then got really good at it really fast. After that, he started playing guitar too and then got really good at that really fast. Once Darren got his drum kit, the two took to the basement and started working on original songs together. 

Through the years, they continued sharing songs with each other, sending demos back and forth via email while away at college. I always admired those early songs, and I’ve still got aspirations of putting them through the Computer Games filter and seeing what we can make of them now, says Darren.

For Chuck and Darren, there’s at least one major upside to the long delay in launching Computer Games: that hard-won sense of freedom that comes with pursuing their purest passions. Instead of trying to chase whats next, we’re trying to do right by those kids in the basement, says Darren. We’ve learned to embrace our love of what makes music fun for us, and we’re putting that into a project that’s 100 percent dedicated making people happy. It’s about creating something completely unique to us, and trying to make as many smiles as humanly possible.

September 6, 2017

[cathygeha]

LIBERATION THROUGH HEARING 

RICHARD RUSSELL

 2 APRIL 2020 | HARDBACK, EBOOK, AUDIO | £20 | White Rabbit

A spiritual journey through music by the Mercury Prize nominated musician and the man behind some of the world’s biggest recording artists including Adele, Dizzee Rascal and The Prodigy

For almost 30 years as a musician, producer, label boss and talent conductor at XL Recordings, Richard Russell has discovered, shaped and nurtured the artists who have rewritten the musical dictionary of the 21st century, artists like The Prodigy, Adele, M.I.A., Dizzee Rascal and Giggs. Growing up in north London in thrall to the raw energy of 80s US hip hop, Russell emerged as one part of rave outfit Kicks Like A Mule in 1991 at a moment when new technology enabled a truly punk spirit on the fledgling dance scene. Initially identified in the early 90s with breakbeat and hardcore before embracing a broader musical aesthetic, Russell’s stewardship of the label was always uncompromising and open to radical influences rather than conventional business decisions.

Released in April 2020 via White Rabbit, Liberation Through Hearing sees Richard Russell telling the remarkable story of XL Recordings and their three decades on the frontline of innovation in music; the eclectic chorus of artists who came to define the label’s unique aesthetic, and Russell’s own story; his highs and lows steering the fortunes of an independent label in a rapidly changing industry, his celebrated production work with Bobby Womack and Gil Scott-Heron on their late-career masterpieces and his own development as an artist as Everything Is Recorded.

Always searching for news sounds and new truths, Liberation Through Hearing is a portrait of a man who believes in the spiritual power of music to change reality. It is also the story of a record label that refused to be categorised by genre and in the process cut an idiosyncratic groove which was often underground in feel but mainstream in impact.

RICHARD RUSSELL SAID: ‘Writing this book was an opportunity for me to reflect on the last few decades. I hope people will get something from it. I’ve tried not to compromise in anything I’ve done, and that includes writing Liberation Through Hearing.’

LEE BRACKSTONE SAID: ‘To have any understanding of the music that has soundtracked the past three decades you need to read this book. Liberation Through Hearing documents Richard Russell’s investment in the great artists who defined rap, rave and all its infinite tributaries with a piercing honesty.’

EXCERPT

PRELUDE 1

SALFORD, 17 APRIL 2019

It’s an overcast early spring afternoon. I’m in a recording studio on an industrial estate on the outskirts of Manchester. I’ve been here for an hour. It would have been hard to locate but I was collected at Manchester Piccadilly by a professional who had researched the destination and got us here easily. He used to drive Keith Flint during The Prodigy’s UK tours, and having picked me up we spent the short journey reminiscing about Keith, who passed away less than a month ago, at the age of forty-nine.

I arrive in a sombre mood. There are three musicians here. A man known as CASisDEAD has just arrived from a stopover in Nottingham. He is the most idiosyncratic, articulate and fluent British rap lyricist I have heard since Dizzee Rascal emerged from Bow E3 in 2002. CAS’s themes are typically the underbelly of street life, drug sales and sex work. In the first really classic song he has made, ‘Pat Earrings’, he tells the apparently heartfelt and melancholy story of his ill-fated relationship with a prostitute. At the conclusion of the song, he finds she has continued to see clients despite telling him she has stopped. ‘Heartbroken, I’m at wits’ end / She’s never accepted by my friends / That’s cool ’cause I never liked them’. The narrator is bereft.

As is often the case with those who make disturbing art he seems a person of integrity. Those in the public eye who go out of their way to seem benevolent, the supposedly squeaky-clean ones, are the ones to beware of. Nasty pretends to be nice, and vice versa. CAS has his face covered at all times when in public. Oscar Wilde said, ‘Give a man a mask and he’ll tell you the truth.’ CAS has a taste for the analogue synthesiser sounds of the 1980s, music that soundtracked my youth and was popular around the time he was born.

I have programmed my Roland TR-808 drum machine in order to echo the feeling of the year that the machine was first released: 1980.

This item is my favourite material possession. Its sounds and groove have been enjoying a renaissance in popularity since the James Brown samples of classic East Coast hip-hop made way for the more electronic palette that was being used by rap artists from the South. Its distinct sonic character is still a crucial part of the hip-hop production landscape.

Drums are only part of the story. In creating music for this session, I have enlisted someone who not only has the ability to craft unforgettable melodies but owns a collection of the vintage analogue synthesisers necessary to sonically execute this job properly. He sits behind one of these while his daughter Missy and his best friend Remi potter around. His name is Damon Albarn and, as frontman of Blur, mastermind behind virtual band Gorillaz and all-round musical polymath, he has scaled every imaginable height of creative and commercial success.

Damon and I are both fortunate to have benefited enough from our musical endeavours to each have our own first-class recording facilities in west London. We are in this particular location because of the third musician. We want him to record a hook for the song and this is where he wished to do it. He possesses a deep, deep soul voice that evokes not just the specific time we wish to reference, the mid-eighties, but the theme CAS wants to explore in this song, which is intended for his debut album, for release on XL Recordings.

This theme is the ephemeral nature of fame. The song is to be called ‘Everything’s For Sale’. It may become a worldwide hit. Or it may never be released, or even completed. At this formative stage of the creative process uncertainty is a given.

This third musician’s name is Alexander O’Neal, and he is a sixty-fiveyear-old former Prince associate from Natchez, Mississippi, by way of Minneapolis, where he was the original lead singer for The Time, before making three solo albums with legendarily great production and writing duo, and fellow Prince acolytes, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. These albums were quite successful in the US, but in the UK he became a huge crossover pop star, scoring Top 10 singles with his songs ‘Criticise’, ‘If You Were Here Tonight’, and his duet with Cherrelle, ‘Saturday Love’. His second album, Hearsay, went triple platinum in the UK, and he sold out three consecutive nights at Wembley Arena.

His appetites were always legendary. Along with most other eighties success stories, his star faded through the nineties. With each new decade music changes irrevocably and only a tiny number of musicians can transcend the decade they found fame in. In recent times Alexander has appeared on reality TV programmes Just the Two of Us, Wife Swap and Celebrity Big Brother.

When CAS gave me a list of the eighties voices he wished to try to feature on his album, I knew that Alexander O’Neal was the one to pursue. My guess was that we would find him in LA, perhaps living near the airport, but it turns out he lives in Manchester.

We’re here to capture the voice of this weathered soul survivor, and prior to the session he has been supplied with a map in the form of a recording, a guide version of the song that Damon, CAS and I made in London. Our preparation and planning have been exemplary and, while I have experienced enough ‘best laid plans’ scenarios to know that nothing is ever guaranteed, an hour into the session we have a heartbreakingly soulful performance from Alexander O’Neal on our hard drive. CAS says to me that it is important to absorb moments like this. I agree. I have had many of them but they always feel dreamlike. Alexander says he needs to buy a bed, inexplicably, and with that he is gone

ABOUT RICHARD RUSSELL

Richard Russell (b. 1971) is a British record producer, musician and the owner of the British record label XL Recordings. He has nurtured and guided some of the most influential recording artists of our time including Adele, Dizzee Rascal, The Prodigy, M.I.A. and Giggs. As a producer and musician, Russell has made albums with the likes of Gil Scott-Heron, Bobby Womack, Damon Albarn and Ibeyi and most recently launched his own artist project Everything Is Recorded, whose self-titled debut album was nominated for the 2018 Mercury Music Prize.

ABOUT XL RECORDINGS

XL Recordings is a British independent record label founded in 1989. Widely regarded as one of the most influential labels, XL releases on average just six albums a year and has worked with artists such as Adele, Arca, Beck, Dizzee Rascal, FKA twigs, Gil Scott-Heron, Giggs, The Horrors, Jai Paul, Jungle, Kamasi Washington, King Krule, M.I.A., Nines, The Prodigy, Peaches, Radiohead, Sampha, SBTRKT, Sigur Rós, Tyler, the Creator, Vampire Weekend, The White Stripes, and The xx.

ABOUT WHITE RABBIT

White Rabbit is a new imprint published by former Faber Social impresario Lee Brackstone launching in April 2020. In its inaugural year of 2020, White Rabbit will publish twelve titles by music industry legends like Carl Cox, Richard Russell, Mark Lanegan, Annie Nightingale, Chris Frantz and Jehnny Beth of Savages amongst others. Dedicated to publishing the most innovative books and voices in music and literature, Brackstone aims to build on the uniquely successful publishing he was responsible for at Faber Social with authors like The Beastie Boys, Viv Albertine and Jon Savage. Brackstone’s titles for his Orion imprint indicate the range and personality of a list that will encompass memoir, history, fiction, translation, illustrated books and high-spec limited editions.

ABOUT THE ORION PUBLISHING GROUP

Where every story matters.

The Orion Publishing Group is one of the UK’s leading publishers.  Our mission is to bring the best publishing to the greatest variety of people. Open, agile, passionate and innovative – we believe that everyone will find something they love at Orion. Founded in 1991, the Orion Publishing Group today publishes under seven main imprints: Gollancz, the UK’s No1 science fiction and fantasy imprint; Orion Fiction, a heartland for brilliant commercial fiction; Orion Spring, home of wellbeing and health titles written by passionate celebrities and world-renowned experts; Seven Dials, for the very best commercial non-fiction, beautifully designed and produced; Trapeze for commercial fiction and non-fiction books that start conversations; White Rabbit, dedicated to publishing the most innovative books and voices in music and literature; and Weidenfeld & Nicolson, one of the most prestigious and dynamic literary imprints in British and international publishing.  

The Orion Publishing Group is part of Hachette UK which is a leading UK trade publishing group.

[terrifyingrenegadelibrary]

New Story

Hi! So, the main reason for the existence of this blog is so I have somewhere to post a story I’ve been working on for a couple years now.

That story is called This Show Sponsored by Death! (exclamation point mandatory), and it’s about a girl named Morgan.

Because I’m that sort of person, this story has only ever been written in script format, so that’s probably a fair thing to be aware of before going in.

The other primary thing to be aware of is that, while hopefully reasonably humorous, this story has the trigger warnings you might expect from a story with “death” as one of the words in its title. That being...you know. Death, death-adjacent, violence, etc. No sex though.

Anyway, without further ado, the first chapter of This Show Sponsored by Death! (exclamation point included here both because it’s mandatory and because I’m excited)

Draw Aside the Veil

-a band’s playing-

-bass thumping-

-electric guitars strumming-

-singers singing-

-and flames arcing through the air around them-

Morgan (off): There but for pretty much everything go we.

-the band is only a scene on a phone screen, being watched by four people. The one who just spoke, a tall, pale girl with dark curly hair, is Morgan. Next to her is a much shorter, dark-skinned girl with short curls-

Quinn: And a brutal strike by Morgan to Allen’s self-esteem. But wait, there’s more…

-the two turn to Allen, a tall, dark-skinned boy with close-cropped hair. He sighs-

Allen: We’re never going to be as big as the Firestarters if that’s your attitude. Where’s your team spirit?

Quinn: Here it comes…

Morgan: I think my team spirit gave up the ghost when we spent an entire practice session just watching other people perform.

Quinn: And there it is. Pack it in, everyone, Allen’s dead. This is a murder scene, nothing to see here, just move along…

Allen: Quinn…

Quinn: Time of death, 3:41 PM, September 16, 2089…

Allen: Come on.

Quinn: Cause of death, Morgan Stein.

Allen: Quinn, this isn’t funny.

Morgan: …It’s a little funny.

-she and Quinn high-five-

Allen: Jacob, back me up!

-the three turn to Jacob, a heavyset, pale, and very, very pretty boy. Who is also fast asleep-

Allen: …Maybe you’re right.

Quinn: Yeah, what’s a band without its triangle guy?

Allen: Morgan’s the one who said he should play the triangle.

Morgan: You wanted him in the band. Not my fault you made it my job to find him an instrument he’d play.

Allen: But the triangle?

Morgan: What can I say? I’m a problem-solver.

-Allen laughs, despite himself-

Allen: Okay, okay, go away. Shoo. You’re obviously not taking this seriously, so practice over.

Quinn: I’m beginning to pick up a sense that we’re not wanted, Morgan.

Morgan: Such a shame. See you at school, Allen. Bring Jacob if he ever wakes up.

Quinn: Boom. Roasted. Back me up, Morgan.

-Morgan snaps her fingers, and a small firework explodes-

Quinn: And we’re out.

-and off they go with Morgan’s drums, laughing-

-cut to the two walking-

Morgan: Do you think Allen is ever going to realize that the only thing we’ll ever have in common with the Firestarters is an attractive lead singer?

-Quinn turns a vague red. Morgan doesn’t appear to notice-

Quinn: Oh, he’s pretty hopeless.

Morgan: Poor guy.

-she fiddles with a fireball, making it detonate playfully-

Quinn: It doesn’t bother you at all that you don’t know why you can do that?

Morgan: It doesn’t bother me that we don’t know why electrons do the thing, right?

Quinn: …Do the thing?

Morgan: Magic’s like that, I think. It just sort of is. I turned 13, I relit the candles on my birthday cake because I was mad at Holly for blowing them out first, and now I can do magic. That’s how it is.

Quinn: I think people do know how electrons work…

Morgan: ….Quarks?

Quinn: …I wouldn’t know.

Morgan: I rest my case.

-Quinn sweatdrops-

Quinn: As long as you’re happy.

-Morgan makes the fireball detonate-

Morgan: Everyone needs a little mystery in life.

-Quinn smiles as the two reach a house-

Morgan: I’ll see you tomorrow?

Quinn: Yeah.

-she pauses-

Quinn: I—

Morgan: Huh?

Quinn: Nothing. I’ll see you.

-Quinn smiles again and walks off as Morgan goes home. Morgan seems to see something in the bushes, but she shrugs and goes inside anyway. Inside, there’s a girl who looks almost exactly like Morgan, but with a different haircut and dressed in purple instead of black, sitting on a couch using a tablet to do something-

Holly: Practice go well?

Morgan: Allen mostly just wanted to show us inspirational videos of better musicians.

Holly: Somehow I had a feeling.

Morgan: Hence why you didn’t show up?

Holly: Some of us have homework on Sundays, Morgan.

Morgan: Well, uh…you’re a nerd.

Holly: You’re not wrong.

Morgan: I’m going to get some fresh air, nerd.

Holly: You haven’t gotten enough?

Morgan: Some of us like more than an hour or two a day of it, Holly.

Holly: I’ve never been partial.

Morgan: And that’s because you’re a nerd. Bye, nerd!

Holly: Mmm-hmm.

-Morgan deposits her drum, and goes back outside-

-cut to her in a graveyard, where she’s standing in front of an angel statue-

Morgan: Dear Creepy Angel Statue in the Cemetery…

Today was a pretty good day. Practice was…uh, impractical, but I think Allen’s maybe starting to get that we’re never going to be that good. Hopefully the next step is where he stops taking Gazillion Degrees so seriously and just lets us have fun?

The world can only hope.

-Morgan giggles, and then pauses as she seems to see something move-

Morgan: Did you…

-she sighs-

Morgan: Probably nothing.

-she turns to the statue-

Morgan: You think spending time talking to statues is making me see things?

-cut back to Morgan at home, Holly still on the couch.-

Morgan: You’re right where I left you.

Holly: A little consistency in life is important.

Morgan: Whatever you say.

-she goes further into the house, and then sticks her head back out-

Morgan: Nerd!

Holly: Good night, Morgan.

-Morgan ruffles Holly’s hair before retreating-

-In Morgan’s room, she looks out of the window, frowning as she examines the darkening street-

Morgan: …Just a shadow.

-and she goes online-

-until she sees it again. There’s a dark shape in the bushes outside Quinn’s house-

Morgan: …Okay then.

-cut to her leaving the house-

Holly: Are you going somewhere?

Morgan: Yep.

Holly: Again?

Morgan: (sharply) Yep!

-and she goes out the door, sprinting towards the shape in the bushes as flames flicker from her hands-

Morgan: Hey! Get away from my friend’s house!

-the shape moves to see Morgan, and then flickers away, taking off down the street-

Morgan: …Okay, I know I said get away, but actually stay right there so I can kick your ass!

-and she’s off after it-

-it flees through the town, Morgan pursuing it and passing a number of interested-looking people along the way. Despite the figure’s speed, Morgan manages to keep up with it, pulling some reasonably impressive parkour moves-

-until she loses it at the graveyard-

Morgan: What, you think this creeps me out? I practically live here, asshole.

-fire still sparking from her hands, she makes her way into the graveyard-

-she slowly moves by tombstones-

-and suddenly the figure is in her face. It’s what appears to be a black cloak, but there’s nothing underneath it but an inky darkness-

Morgan: Ah!

-She jumps back. The cloak regards her in almost a quizzical way, and she quickly recovers her composure-

Morgan: What the hell are you doing, stalking my friend?

-no response. Morgan holds up a crackling fireball-

Morgan: Well?

-the cloak lets out a hissing noise and pulls back. In a shower of black sparks, a wickedly sharp knife appears in its hand, and it lunges at Morgan, who jumps out of the way-

Morgan: Got it. No clue what you are, but I’m going to make you burn.

-Morgan sends a fireball flying at the cloak, which dodges easily-

Morgan: Okay, you’re fast. I can deal with that.

-she launches more fireballs, but the cloak zips around them and strikes with the knife. This time, it manages to cut Morgan’s shoulder-

Morgan: Aaah!

-she clutches her shoulder, but oddly, while it’s clearly causing pain, there doesn’t seem to be any damage-

Morgan: Was that…was that magic?

-the cloak gives no answer, instead continuing to slash at her, but this time she’s more careful to keep out of the way-

-at least until it tackles her to the ground-

Morgan: Ack!

-she grabs up a handful of dirt from the ground, and jams it into the cloak, but there’s no reaction. The cloak summons another knife and brings it down, but Morgan catches it by the handle-

-the knife starts to glow black, and Morgan winces in pain-

Morgan: Come on…what kind of magic even is this?

-little flickers build up around her hands-

-the cloak, meanwhile, summons a second knife and brings it down, Morgan only just moving her head out of the way. More knives appear, spreading out to different angles-

Morgan: No…

-and then something clicks-

Morgan: No!

-a spiral of fireworks burst from Morgan’s palm, throwing the cloak away. She leaps to her feet, flames whirling around her-

Morgan: I don’t have the slightest clue what’s going on here, fine! But let me tell you something, tall, dark, and silent! Nobody creeps on my friend and gets away with it!

-the cloak hisses, dozens of knives appearing, and lunges at Morgan-

-and a column of fire bursts from her palms, swirling around the cloak and knives-

-Morgan stares at the fire, eventually clenching her fists to cut it off-

-she’s left in an empty graveyard, staring at where a cloak used to be-

Morgan: …What just happened?

-suddenly, a pulse of black energy lights up behind her neck. She screams-

-pan around to the cut on her shoulder, which is glowing with black energy and appears to have become necrotic very rapidly. Morgan topples to the ground as her vision starts to fade-

Morgan: This…sucks…

-cut to a boy and girl standing over her-

Boy: She really killed it in one hit? That’s fairly impressive.

Girl: Is that really the immediate concern?

Boy: Whatever.

-The boy reaches down and says something that Morgan can’t make out, and suddenly the pulse goes away-

Boy: See? I saved her life. Are you happy now?

Girl: You don’t think that was sort of the least we could have done for her?

Boy: Ugh. Tell me if she lives or dies.

Girl: Yeah…

-he wanders off as Morgan blacks out-

-Morgan awakens, still in the graveyard, a little while later. She sees someone leaving, but can’t make out who-

-she looks around, seeing no evidence of the fight from earlier-

Morgan: …Did I really just fall asleep in the graveyard? And it was such a weird dream, too…

-she makes her way back home, ignoring the long, thin scar now present on her shoulder-

-when she gets there, she’s greeted by Holly-

Holly: Where were you?

Morgan: Uh.

Holly: I called your phone, and you didn’t answer. Was something wrong?

Morgan: Oh, no. I…uh…I fell asleep in the graveyard.

Holly: What?

Morgan: I’m as surprised as you.

Holly: I don’t think that’s possible.

Morgan: Well, I thought I saw someone outside Quinn’s house, so I chased them away, and somehow I ended up at the graveyard again--

Holly: As per usual—

Morgan: And then I was really tired so I guess I took a nap. Had the weirdest dream.

Holly: Your dreams aren’t really my priority here.

Morgan: Anyway, I’m home now.

Holly: …You should go to bed.

Morgan: Probably.

-Morgan walks past Holly-

Holly: Hey, Morgan?

Morgan: Huh?

Holly: Where’d you get that scar?

Morgan: Scar?

Holly: On your shoulder. Look.

-Morgan looks. Where she was sliced by the Reaper, there is a thin line that looks marked with a small burn-

Morgan: …Huh. Looks like a glue gun accident to me.

Holly: Really?

-she sighs-

Holly: Honestly, what you’d do without me…

-another timeskip. Morgan is in school, looking largely uninterested as she stares uncomfortably out the window. Quinn is more attentive. Allen is deeply focused on something else. Jacob is asleep-

-the day ends, and everyone mills out of the classroom, Quinn and Morgan going together-

Quinn: I think that’s probably an all-time low for attention.

Morgan: Uh…yeah.

Quinn: Including right now. Something on your mind?

Morgan: …Nah. Start-of-year doldrums.

Quinn: As opposed to your usual end-of-year apathy, and the middle-of-the-year exhaustion, I guess?

Morgan: Uh, right!

Quinn: Well, consistency’s important.

Morgan: You sound like my sister.

Quinn: Yikes. Walk you home?

Morgan: You say this like we don’t live next to each other.

-even so, she follows along-

-cut to the house. Morgan and Quinn are walking along, Morgan playing with a fireball again-

Quinn: So, uh, Morgan.

Morgan: Yeah?

Quinn: We’ve been friends for a while, yeah?

Morgan: Sure. What’s going on?

Quinn: Well, I was thinking...

Morgan: I’m not gonna kill Jacob for you, no matter how much you beg.

Quinn: No, Morgan, that’s not it. I—

Morgan: Quinn, have you been a ghost the whole time? Or wait. Are you a magician? I could use another magician friend. There’s like one other person in town, and he’s weird.

Quinn: Morgan! This is important!

Morgan: -laughing- Sorry, sorry. I’ll be serious. –swipes hand across face- See? Serious Morgan. What’s on your mind?

Quinn: Morgan, I think I-

-Morgan’s phone rings-

Morgan: Um, sorry, is it okay if I get this?

Quinn: Uh, yeah, fine.

-Morgan checks her phone-

Quinn: Sooooo? What is it?

Morgan: …Holly got hit by a car.

SCENE FADE

-Quinn and Morgan are in the hospital. They’re looking at Holly, who’s unconscious in a hospital bed-

Quinn: Is…is she going to be okay?

Morgan: (quietly) The doctors don’t think so.

Quinn: Morgan…I’m sorry.

-she puts a hand on Morgan’s shoulder. Morgan subtly shrugs it off-

Morgan: …I need some fresh air.

Quinn: Oh, I’ll come—

Morgan: Empty air. Thanks.

-She’s gone before Quinn can protest. She walks through the town, passing by people. A number of people recur periodically-

-suddenly, a boy appears out of nowhere. He’s about Morgan’s height, with light skin, soft features, and rather long hair-

Boy: Excuse me, I—

-she brushes past him-

-the camera pans to her perspective, showing the angel statue, and she begins to speak-

Morgan: So look. I don’t know who to talk to right now, but you and I? We get along. I don’t know if you’re supposed to be a real angel, but just in case anyone’s listening, maybe pay me back for the years of conversation?

-she stares hard at the statue, looking it in the eyes-

Morgan: Please, just…give me my sister back.

-Silence-

???: And if I do? What do I get in return?

-Morgan looks around-

Morgan: Who said that? This isn’t funny.

???: It is not funny at all. I can offer you your sister back, in exchange for your service.

Morgan: -pops a fireball- If you’re some ventriloquist with a sick sense of humor, I’m gonna roast you. But if you can really save Holly…you’ve got whatever you want.

???: Then the Contract is made.

Morgan: What?

???: Under normal circumstances, I might demand a task of you as a token of your service, but you have already assisted me once.

Morgan: I have?

???: The creature from earlier. It was a threat to the town, and I had been tracking it for some time, but you destroyed it for me. So thank you.

Morgan: Wait, what was it?

???: It was a Spirit of Death, a Reaper. A creature made of pure magic given physical form. Nominally a servant, but as demonstrated here…occasionally dangerous.

Morgan: Wait, but—I killed it. How did I do that? Since when can magic be a weapon?

???: Magic has always been a weapon. It is in your genes. You simply needed the proper impetus to tap into it. Now, I believe I owe you a favor.

-Morgan’s phone buzzes-

Phone: Holly’s up and fine

Morgan: Wait, what?

Phone: Total miracle. Someone’s looking out for us.

-Morgan stares at her phone, and then looks up at the statue-

Morgan: …Did you do this?

???: I certainly did.

Morgan: …

-she drops to her knees-

Morgan: Thank you.

???: Think nothing of it. Welcome to my service.

Morgan: Who are you?

???: I am Zaresi. Goddess of Death.

-Morgan blinks-

Zaresi: I will be in touch.

-the presence fades from the area. Morgan slowly rises to her feet-

???: Uh, welcome to the team.

-Morgan leaps to her feet, reaching for magic-

-energy pulses from her hands, but unlike before, it’s black, and instead of fireworks, it twists into the shape of a scythe-

-or begins to, but is destroyed by a sphere of black light. Standing behind the sphere is a girl about Morgan’s age, with brown skin, straight black hair, and at the moment, a look of shock-

Girl: Dios mio, we’re on the—

-she sees Morgan’s face, and pauses. She coughs. Morgan stares at her for a long time as well, before eventually speaking-

Morgan: We’re on the?

Girl: …Uh. We’re on the same side, is what I was going to say. I’m—

Morgan: Wait, so what happened to my magic?

Girl: Well, you work for a goddess of Death now, so you use Death magic, not Fire magic. Anyway, I’m—

Morgan: Wait, what?

Girl: Uh, look, this isn’t the best time for me to be explaining this. I’m—

Morgan: So what just happened?

-the girl sighs-

Girl: Si pararia de hablar por un segundo…long story short, the Reaper used to work for us, but it went nuts, so when you killed it, we wanted to hire you.

Morgan: …Right. I’m going to write this off as a hallucination and go see my sister.

-she walks off-

Girl: Hey, w-wait!

Morgan: What?

Girl: I’m Laura! It’s nice to meet you!

-she gives a weak grin-

Morgan: …Yeah. Bye.

-as Morgan leaves the graveyard, she nearly runs into a boy about her height, with long hair and soft features. As Morgan attempts to step past him, he coughs politely-

Boy: Ah, hello there. Again.

Morgan: Hi. Look, I’m trying to get home, so I’m not really in the mood to talk with people. Can you—

Boy: So, I heard you swore in with Zaresi. Shame. I heard the news, and I was hoping this might be an opportunity to make an overture, but I guess it’s too late now.

Morgan: …Who are you?

Boy: An enemy, at least for the time being. See you around!

-he strolls off lazily. Morgan stares after him uncomfortably-

Morgan: …Whatever. Too many weird things for one day.

-and she continues walking-

-Morgan arrives home, to see Holly, who is standing up, and immediately runs to hug her-

Holly: Hello to you too, Morgan.

Morgan: You’re… okay!

Holly: I certainly am. I can’t say I understand how, though.

Morgan: Yeah, been hearing that a lot lately…

Holly: Huh?

Morgan: Nothing.

Holly: Well, it’s good to be up and about again.

Morgan: Hey, Holly?

Holly: What’s up?

Morgan: You know I love you, right?

Holly: Of course I know that. You’re my sister.

Morgan: Just thought you should know. Get some sleep, okay?

Holly: Don’t act like you’re older than I am.

Morgan: Last time I checked, I was.

Holly: By eight minutes!

Morgan: Just go to bed. Love you, nerd.

Holly: Good night, Morgan.

-cut to class the next day-

Quinn: --She just woke up! It was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.

Morgan: It was lucky. I don’t know what I would’ve done otherwise.

-Quinn hugs her-

Quinn: She in school today? We should go bug her.

Morgan: She’s still at home, despite her best efforts. I thought it was better if she stayed home to rest up, and my parents agreed.

Quinn: Can’t hurt.

Morgan: Unless you’re a perfectionist like Holly, of course.

Quinn: Still can’t hurt to live life like the rest of us people who are occasionally sick.

Morgan: Or just playing hooky.

Quinn: Or just playing hooky.

-she laughs-

Quinn: So, Morgan, do you have some time? I was kind of hoping to talk to y—

-the window shatters, and a massive tendril of darkness rushes in, knocking Quinn into a wall. She doesn’t get back up. Morgan steps in front of her, hands flickering. The tendril expands outwards, surrounding Morgan in darkness-

Morgan: What.

-the cloud continues swirling around her, before looming in on Quinn-

Morgan: Hey, don’t touch her!

-the flickers grow stronger-

-the cloud doesn’t pay any attention, and tendrils begin growing out of it, wrapping around Quinn-

Morgan: I said…

-the flickers form a cohesive shape-

Morgan: Don’t touch her!

-and she lashes out, the flickers solidifying into the shape of a wickedly curved scythe. It slashes through the tendrils, which withdraw. Morgan stares at the scythe-

Morgan: What…

-and then her face hardens, as the tendrils start regrowing, and she slashes at them again-

Morgan: Hey! Maybe I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m pretty sure that attacking my friends isn’t part of the water cycle!

???: I’ll give it a 5 out of 10. That’s not a cloud.

-a boy slips around the fog, strolling over to Morgan. He’s white, with bright green eyes and buzzed brown hair, and while he’s shorter than Morgan he’s still of reasonably average height-

Morgan: I don’t know who you are, but I think I hate you.

Boy: Evan. Zaresi’s right-hand magician. Pleasure. You’re the new girl, right? Laura mentioned you. I’m on your side.

Morgan: That’s great for you. Mind helping out?

Evan: What, with this?

Morgan: Yeah. It’s another Reaper, right?

Evan: Obviously not. Reapers are Spirits. This is just a Fae; it causes trouble from time to time. You seem to have things well in hand.

Morgan: I do?

Evan: Of course not. You’re hopeless. Now distract it while I do something that works.

Morgan: Aren’t you a ray of sunshine?

-nonetheless, she moves to the side as much as she can while still slashing away-

Morgan: Uh…distraction!

-Evan takes her spot, removing a small mat from his backpack and unrolling it. It’s covered with runes and a pentagram-

Evan: Not the most creative, but I suppose it’ll do.

-he steps onto the pentagram-

Evan: Fae, understand that your actions here today are in violation of the Divine Convocation. While it is indeed perfectly plausible that you are not necessarily self-aware in a way humans would understand, ignorance of the law is no excuse. Larus.

-the runes glow as Evan steps onto the carpet. A tendril of shadow reaches for him, but is burnt away by a sudden burst of black light-

Evan: Now for some real magic. Argentatus.

-a beam of darkness blasts out from the runes, piercing through the cloud of shadow. It recoils, and retreats back out of the window, coiling away into the sky and dissipating-

Morgan: …Handy. Don’t suppose I could get my hands on one?

Evan: If you’re nice, I’ll teach you how.

Morgan: So, situation dealt with, right?

Evan: It’s not dead, so it could definitely be more dealt with. But I guess that’s not bad for your first fight.

Morgan: Second fight.

Evan: Definitely bad then.

Morgan: Great. So, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume—or, perhaps, pray—that we have some masquerade to keep up, and I can pretend I don’t know you when we’re not working together to kill angry thunderclouds.

Evan: Nah, that won’t be necessary.

Morgan: Damn it.

Evan: Watch and learn.

-he saunters over to Quinn, who is still out cold, and pulls a pouch from his backpack, taking a pinch of clay out of it and making a small circle on her forehead-

Morgan: Hey, what are you doing?

Evan: Nothing dangerous. Buteo.

-the clay fizzes and vanishes, and Quinn’s eyes snap open-

Quinn: What happened? Who are you?

Evan: There was a little storm, and a tree branch went through a window and conked you on the head. Don’t worry, I saved you.

Quinn: …That’s nice?

Evan: Yes, yes it was. Anyway, I’m borrowing Morgan.

Morgan: You are?

Evan: Yes. Aren’t you excited?

-Morgan and Evan are now outside-

Morgan: What did you do to her?

Evan: Memory spell. Pretty simple, really. We use them all the time when people see things they shouldn’t.

Morgan: …That can’t be ethical.

Evan: Oh, don’t worry. You get good at making things up after your first few days on the job.

-Evan shrugs and continues walking. Morgan stares after him for a moment, her face hardening, but she follows-

Morgan: What about the rest of the school? Didn’t they see the Fae too?

Evan: Of course not. Only Magicians see magic. And only Magicians who are contracted to a proper god can see everything.

Morgan: But…when I cast for the band, everyone sees the fire.

Evan: Sure, because that’s a side effect. But only you can see the magic keeping it all in shape. The only people we need to wipe are the ones who were actually in the middle of the whole mess, like your friend back there. Everyone else, they’ll just assume there really was a little freak storm.

-there’s a pause, and Evan snickers-

Evan: Did you really think the gods could keep themselves secret if John Q. Public could see them walking down the street?

Morgan: This is the third time in the past two days someone’s mentioned gods. What are you talking about?

Evan: …Didn’t Laura explain anything to you?

Morgan: I think she might have tried to.

-Evan gives a sigh of disgust-

Evan: Look, a thousand years ago or so magic was a big deal, and it was apportioned out by real gods, not whatever crappy two-bit Spirit was managing you.

Morgan: Hey!

Evan: But then there were a ton of wars over territory and magic and whatnot, they held the Divine Convocation, the gods all agreed to go into hiding, and magic turned into a cheap joke. Nobody knows how it works, and everyone thinks all it’s good for is bands.

Morgan: The voice in the graveyard, uh, the goddess of Death…Zaresi?

Evan: That’s the one.

Morgan: She said magic was always meant as a weapon, and that I knew how to use it like that. And she was right.

Evan: Well, of course.

Morgan: And my magic is different now.

Evan: Obviously.

-Morgan glares-

Morgan: So people do know how magic works?

Evan: You thought it was all a big mystery? Nah. A lot of work goes into keeping that true, but the people who matter? They know what’s up.

Morgan: I don’t know if I agree with your assessment of who matters or not.

Evan: Fortunately, I don’t care what you think.

Morgan: I don’t like you.

Evan: See previous comment.

-Morgan sighs-

Morgan: Okay, but if the gods all hid, what’s going on now?

Evan: Well, nothing stays hidden forever, obviously. After a while, gods started resurging, just a whole lot more secretively. Now we’re here, and I’m standing in front of you explaining what a blinkered moron you and everyone else in the world is. Any more questions?

Morgan: …Can I talk to Laura instead?

Evan: Nah, she takes online classes. Point is, Zaresi has the two of us and a few odd Spirits, and that’s just one god. Maybe there aren't so many Magicians in this town, but believe me, there’s plenty of mind-wiping to go around. The Fae could have killed half the people in the school, and after five minutes, the survivors would be going along with their day.

Morgan: And you’ve done this before?

Evan: Pretty frequently.

Morgan: To me? Or my sister?

Evan: -shrugs- Probably. You people all just blur together after a while, honestly.

Morgan: …You’re sure I can’t talk to Laura? I think I liked her better.

Evan: Funny, she said the same thing. But no, you’re stuck with me. Exciting, isn’t it?

Morgan: In a Russian Roulette-y sort of way, sure.

Evan: I’ll take it.

-he starts to walk off-

Morgan: Evan!

Evan: Morgan.

Morgan: You can wipe minds, right? Can’t you just…wipe mine? Make me forget I saw this, and let me go back to a normal life where magic’s just a cool thing some people can do and nobody really cares about it past the icebreakers?

Evan: I could.

Morgan: Great.

Evan: Seems a bit cowardly, though. You’ve already had two encounters with the magical side of the world, the Reaper in the graveyard and the Fae here.

Morgan: So what’s a Fae?

-Evan waves a hand dismissively-

Evan: I’ll explain it later. There’s all sorts of supernatural mischief going on, even in a small town like this one. It’s our job to keep people safe from it.

Morgan: I can’t picture you being into that line of work.

Evan: I’m insulted.

Morgan: Look. I only fought the Reaper to keep my friend safe, and I only agreed to work for Zaresi to save my sister. Zaresi did something for me, I did something for her, so why can’t I just be done?

Evan: The agreement you made was your service for your sister’s life. By backing out now, you’d be reneging on your Contract.

Morgan: What?

Evan: If you aren’t willing to hold up your end of the deal…

Morgan: You wouldn’t.

Evan: Of course I wouldn’t. Just making a point. You’re kind of a limited resource, and we’re fairly invested in you sticking around.

-Morgan glares. A spark plays around her hand-

Evan: So, Morgan. Are you in, or are you out?

-he walks off without a backwards glance-

-Morgan stares after him for a while, until her gaze hardens, and she follows-

[noirmornings-blog]

Kanye West: Inside His Creative Agency DONDA

The brand the everyone wants to create but no one really knows what it is...

Kanye West’s first creative agency, DONDA, still remains as a mystery to most of us. They continue to crank out album covers and projects, but no one really knows who is exactly behind the work. Obviously, Virgil Abloh is down, but who else? VIBE discovered that a former Mercer Kitchen waitress by name of Hanna Christian was one of the first employees and helped hire others. However, she is no longer on-board. So who else is down? VIBE investigates…

The rest of the DONDA stable is virtually anonymous. And West has a tradition of cobbling together a rotating cast of collaborators, which makes it tough to distinguish who’s actually part of the core clique. Liner notes on Yeezus list Joe Perez as DONDA graphic designer and Justin Saunders as art director. Those who are believed to have worked with the company consistently include West’s longtime barber and style consultant Ibn Jasper, art directors Matthew Williams and Guido Callarelli and graphic designers Nathaniel Brown and Alex Milsom. Perez declined to be interviewed, and the others did not respond to requests. Before Abloh could even be contacted, he sent a pre-emptive refusal: “We appreciate the interest, but our staff is not doing interviews at the moment. If our stance changes, we will be in touch.”

BEFORE HANNA CHRISTIAN started working for Kanye West, she was a waitress at The Mercer Kitchen. The exclusive restaurant serves as the cornerstone of New York City’s Mercer Hotel, where West and Jay Z camped out in early 2011 to record their album, Watch the Throne. When West returned in October of that same year to take a series of meetings, Christian, then a 21-year-old college dropout and aspiring visual artist, struck up a conversation. For a week, West picked her brain about everything from architecture to fashion to art. He invited her to a Watch the Throne tour stop in New Jersey. She came back to work the next day raving about the elaborate stage design. Noted visual artist Es Devlin (a frequent West collaborator who’s also worked with Lady Gaga and Rihanna) projected video of sharks and Rottweilers onto enormous cubes that doubled as podiums for West and Jay Z during the show. After gushing about the design elements, Christian went for broke. “I love The Mercer,” she blurted out to Kanye. “But I want to work with you!”

Christian was hired on the spot as West’s personal assistant. And within 24 hours, she was attending the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show at the Lexington Avenue Armory in NYC. Three months later, he announced his latest venture, DONDA, an experimental design agency named for his late mother. Christian transitioned to office manager, interviewing applicants and helping to build the company’s early infrastructure.

She’s bubbly and effusive when she talks about her big break into the entertainment industry. But when asked something seemingly as innocuous as where the DONDA offices are located, Christian shuts down. “I can’t talk about it,” she says firmly. “It’s in my confidentiality agreement.” A confidentiality agreement with a clause about office headquarters? Sounds ludicrous. But no one does private and mysterious like Kanye West. And for a potential entity born out of one of his legendary Twitter rants, it almost makes sense. Almost.

In January 2012, West laid out a series of tweets, highlighting his plan to create a firm with more than 22 departments staffed by a bevy of experts in divergent fields. He name-checked everything from architects, video game developers and nutritionists to doctors, lawyers and what he called “app guys,” plotting to house them under DONDA.

His master plan reads like a stream-of-consciousness riff that becomes an epically ambitious screed (think Jerry Maguire’s infamous manifesto). There will be summer school programs with filmmaker Spike Jonze! An overhaul of the prison system! Nutritional consultation on achieving energy balance! Amusement parks! West tweeted: “We want to create, advertise and produce products driven equally by emotional want and utilitarian need.”

The kicker was that he intends to not just turn a profit or join the billionaire’s club. He wants to change the world through design and fill the void of late Apple cofounder Steve Jobs. A bit extreme, sure. But Kanye’s bombastic statements are expected. And for a man who secretes naked ambition and pretentious overtones from his very pores, it almost makes sense. Almost.

DONDA may sound slightly absurd, but the idea wasn’t completely random. Even before his Twitter proposal, he fantasized about launching a creative clique to those in his inner circle. In 2008, during a New Zealand press conference promoting 808s & Heartbreak he talked about building art installations. Four years later, he aimed even higher. “I want to work on cities [and] amusement parks,” he said while premiering his short film, Cruel Summer, at Cannes Film Festival. “I want to change what entertainment experiences are like.”

Kanye’s fight for creative control is long-standing. Collaborators describe him as a hypercritical presence on photo shoots and film edits. So it’s no surprise that with DONDA, he was looking to circumvent middlemen who might dilute his vision. “They wanted to eliminate the person who has to interpret the idea to the brand,” says Marc Moran, who cofounded the Chicago-based RSVP Gallery with West’s longtime right-hand man Virgil Abloh.

Post-rant, West moved quickly. Just a day after the online proclamation, his attorney Brad Rose filed the first trademark papers for DONDA. The list of goods and services sounds more profit-based than the good works and lofty world improvement goals in his mission statement. Expect to see the DONDA name on “toys and playthings, plush toys, teddy bears… home furnishings, bedding and linens…”

He also tweeted an e-mail, contactdonda@gmail.com, for like-minded aspiring trailblazers to pledge DONDA. Thousands of applicants poured in, according to Christian, who left the company in May 2012 and now works as a creative assistant for actor Jason Sudeikis. “We moved forward with quite a few people who submitted portfolios,” she says, refusing to reveal who made the cut.

Essentially a future funnel for West’s obsession with his legacy, DONDA is poised to be the ultimate vanity project. And yet, he barely references it by name. Rather than a string of credits on an official Web site, DONDA projects are denoted by album liner notes, cryptic tweets, hashtags and Instagram photos (“NUMBERS ON THE BOARDS. NO ARTWORK. DONDA,” @virgilabloh) from his inner circle. Will this mysticism carry on to a true vision with results? Some experts are doubtful.

“When [Kanye] talks about Apple and those other companies, [he] has a very clear mission or statement in mind,” says Andres Nicholls, a partner in the brand and marketing consultancy Prophet, which lists GM, BMW and Visa as clients. “I tried to find a Web site. I couldn’t find any. He needs to formalize the vision of the company if he wants to expand to a broader consumer.” In addition to no website, DONDA no longer has a brick-and-mortar presence. Christian followed up her interview several weeks later to give an update on the DONDA office in New York: it no longer exists. “When I was there, we were just starting to set up shop, so I’m not surprised that so much has changed since I left.”

Expanding to a broader consumer may prove difficult for West, considering his desire to keep everything he does under tight wraps. During a June listening session for his newest album, Yeezus, at New York’s Milk Studios, a black van was parked outside, projecting a video of Kanye (shot by his go-to director Nick Knight) rapping the lyrics to his single “New Slaves” onto the side of a building. The screenings were part of a larger, international guerilla-marketing scheme— Kanye’s idea—that initially took place in 66 cities. When pressed for info on the installation, a woman operating the video offered a non-committal smirk and riddled responses:

Are you a member of DONDA? “We don’t have any input in the content. We’re just hired to project it,” she said.

What’s the name of the projection company? “I’d rather not say.”

Did Def Jam or DONDA hire you? “I’d rather not say.”

Following West’s lead, the DONDA collective hasn’t done interviews regarding their affiliation. LinkedIn profiles and liner notes help piece together a rough masthead, but there’s no clear consensus on who’s involved. One source suggested finding Virgil Abloh because “he is DONDA.”

Abloh’s credited title has varied from head creative director to art director for DONDA. It’s easy to see why the Chicago native and former architect would be Kanye’s right-hand man when it comes to DONDA. Abloh has the holier-than-thou hipster vibe down cold. He’s a Birkin-bag-carrying dude who owns a clothing boutique that sells $200 T-shirts. He drops obscure style references, like waxing poetic about the genius of German industrial designer Dieter Rams.

The rest of the DONDA stable is virtually anonymous. And West has a tradition of cobbling together a rotating cast of collaborators, which makes it tough to distinguish who’s actually part of the core clique. Liner notes on Yeezus list Joe Perez as DONDA graphic designer and Justin Saunders as art director. Those who are believed to have worked with the company consistently include West’s longtime barber and style consultant Ibn Jasper, art directors Matthew Williams and Guido Callarelli and graphic designers Nathaniel Brown and Alex Milsom. Perez declined to be interviewed, and the others did not respond to requests. Before Abloh could even be contacted, he sent a pre-emptive refusal: “We appreciate the interest, but our staff is not doing interviews at the moment. If our stance changes, we will be in touch.”

Whoever’s pulling the strings, the overall theme seems to be minimalism. And so far, DONDA’s work still falls in the domain of hip-hop: album artwork stage sets (West’s Atlantic City Revel Resort shows); promotional apparel; and visuals for Ye’s G.O.O.D Music compilation, Cruel Summer. With the interactive video for West’s “Black Skinheads,” DONDA has been focusing on multimedia projects. They were also hired to re-edit the trailer for The Canyons, starring Lindsay Lohan.

The DONDA-designed cover for I Am Not a Human Being 2 spotlights a lone butterfly on a black background. And instead of a cliché mean-mug close-up, 2 Chainz’s Based on a T.R.U. Story features two chains draped over a black backdrop. Some say the DONDA design style currently on display is a brilliant respite from hip-hop’s often-aggressive literalism. Some say it’s basic. “Because hip-hop has been so literal, esoteric things excite people. But it doesn’t mean that it’s good,” says Joseph Buckingham, aka Joe Buck, a graphic designer whose album artwork includes the classic De La Soul Is Dead cover. “That seems to be the trend now, to just be beyond hip-hop. Kanye plays that game well.”

The abstract approach can be vexing for the executives who write the checks. “The label wants to go with what’s obvious and marketable,” says Courtney Walter, a creative director who’s designed packaging for Chris Brown (Fortune) and Miguel (Kaleidoscope Dream). “If it’s conceptual, sometimes you’re pushing boundaries that make more of a statement than you need to.”

West is already barreling full steam ahead with his own music. Yeezus is the musical equivalent of a splash painting. From the anti-packaging to the loony American Psycho–inspired commercial starring two Kardashian family affiliates. He does what he wants (and more importantly, corporate bigwigs allow him to do what he wants) because it’s profitable. Kanye’s audience is built-in and primed to respond to whatever he’s pumping out, even if it’s a pair of $245 Nike Air Yeezy’s, which once sold for $90,000 on eBay.

“Marketing is usually so much about ‘reach,’” says Patrick Ehrlund, creative director of B-Reel, the company that produced West’s 2012 commercial for the Cruel Summeralbum. “Because Kanye West is such a strong brand, you don’t necessarily have to worry about reach, because it will always reach people. So it’s about how you affect people. Visuals have become a much more permanent and visible part of hip-hop. I think it’s amazing that artists are exposing people that might not be exposed to these kinds of artistic things.”

It may be unrealistic to expect DONDA to run like a traditional business and actually attempt to attract media attention. Especially since Kanye has become more paranoid about his message being misinterpreted. The true test will be marrying his laissez-faire approach with the eventual need to gain investors if he’s serious about turning DONDA into a conglomerate.

“From a funding point of view, it can be a challenge when you have people who aren’t used to thinking outside the box,” says Jessica Irish, director of academic affairs at Parsons’ School of Art, Media and Technology.

West’s ambition to succeed Apple is clearly a stretch. But he may have the ultimate business consultant in Steve Wozniak, who cofounded the iconic tech brand with Jobs. They met this year and discussed Kanye’s top-secret plans. When contacted for comment on DONDA, Wozniak stated via e-mail: “I have opinions about it, but they would be personal between myself and Mr. West.”

West isn’t alone in his determination to push the margins of the entertainment industry. From Nicki Minaj and Drake to Jay Z and Pharrell, rappers are expanding their résumés beyond endorsements and fragrances. Ten years ago, vanity labels and clothing lines were compulsory. Now, it’s about creative direction for major brands. West can certainly transform DONDA into a lucrative movement. He’s defied odds before.

In February 2012, four months after the lukewarm reception to his women’s collection, West started work on the first official DONDA endeavor—the Cruel Summer short. He commissioned three design firms and a post-production company and scored funding from the Doha Film Institute in the Gulf state of Qatar, where the film was shot. The team spent four months constructing an unprecedented seven-screen display and a white tented pyramid to contain it.

That May, his 30-minute movie about a car thief and an Arabian princess (He even consulted with a local Arab woman on wardrobe) screened at the Cannes Film Festival. The verdict from most media outlets: flawed, but ambitious. The movie has yet to be released on DVD or screened anywhere outside of Cannes. It hardly matters. Kanye pulled it off, and his first step to achieving what he wants with DONDA was complete.

Whether DONDA becomes another told-you-so moment or a pipe dream remains to be seen. Limitations exist in the corporate world, but from the looks of it (the ambiguous anti-business business plan), West wants to see just how much he can break the rules. As DONDA progresses, he’ll have disciples and cynics, either blindly following or silently skeptical, but never counting him out.

Story By Clover Hope

[thenewsrabbit-blog]

Hot Topics Recap: Holiday Showcase 2018

Check out the latest post http://thenewsrabbit.com/hot-topics-recap-holiday-showcase-2018/

NEW YORK–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Following are the latest 2018 Holiday Season news releases and story ideas for reporters, bloggers and media outlets. These recaps, curated by Business Wire, provide reporters and bloggers around the globe instant access to the latest news releases, providing relevant and trending content to share with their audiences. Discover more news via Business Wire’s Hot Topic recaps or create a custom news feed specific to your needs here. This service is provided at no charge to members of the media and financial communities.

SALT LAKE CITY–In the Holiday Countdown, Will Your Shipping Strategy Bring Success? Source: Visible Supply Chain Management

ATLANTA–Trio of Hazardous Holidays Threaten U.S. Highway Travelers; Thanksgiving is Past, but Christmas and New Year’s Danger Looms Source: Road Safe America

PHOENIX–This Holiday Season, PetSmart® and its Shoppers Give More than Two Million Plush Toys to Local Communities and Generate $885,000 to Support Pets in Need Source: PetSmart, Inc.

ORANGE, Calif.–Western Dental Plays Santa Claus Source: Western Dental

WASHINGTON–Escape the Holiday Hustle and Bustle with a Sneak Peek of National Geographic’s New Series Valley of the Boom Source: National Geographic

MEMPHIS, Tenn.–Merry Maids Helps You Prepare for Inevitable Holiday Surprises Source: Merry Maids

ORANGE, Calif.–Western Dental Recommends Check-ups for Kids During the Holiday Season Source: Western Dental

PURCHASE. N.Y.–Mastercard SpendingPulse: Online Shopping Shines Bright This Holiday Season Source: Mastercard Investor Relations

The City Choir of Washington (TCCW) Extends the Holiday Season with Twelfth Night Celebration Source: The City Choir of Washington

JACKSONVILLE, Fla.–Southeastern Grocers Exceeds Goal of 20 Million Meals* Donated to Feeding America® in 2018 Source: Southeastern Grocers, Inc.

BEDFORD, Mass.–NativeScript-Powered Portable North Pole App Exceeds a Quarter Million Unique Sessions Per Day Leading into Final Week of Holiday Season Source: Progress

PITTSBURGH & CHICAGO–Times Square Gets Cheesy This Holiday Season with Kraft American Singles Source: The Kraft Heinz Company

CALABASAS HILLS, Calif.–The Cheesecake Factory Makes Last-Minute Holiday Gift Card Shopping Twice as Sweet with Double the Rewards Online for One Day Only, December 20, 2018 Source: The Cheesecake Factory Incorporated

LOS ANGELES–MapleStory M Introduces New Evan Class and Mini-Games Source: Nexon America Inc.

MIAMI–An Effective Remedy to Curb Holiday Stress Source: Quietud Sagrada

HAMILTON, N.J.–How Retailers Handle Returns Influences Consumer Buying Habits According to Research from Voxware Source: Voxware

REDMOND, Wash.–Nintendo Switch is the Fastest-Selling Video Game System of This Generation Source: Nintendo

BURBANK, Calif.–DC Universe: the Ultimate Holiday Binge-Watching Destination Anchored with the Season Finale of Original Series Titans on December 21 Source: DC UNIVERSE

WASHINGTON–November Retail Sales Increase 5 Percent Over 2017, Putting Holiday Spending on Track to Meet NRF Forecast Source: National Retail Federation

BOSTON–College Savings: A Gift Idea That Lasts For Years Source: MEFA

REYKJAVIK, Iceland–Iceland Naturally Releases “Christmas is Coming” Video About Iceland’s Christmas Yule Lads Just in Time for The Holidays Source: Iceland Naturally

WASHINGTON–Historic Hotels of America Announces The 2018 Top 25 Most Magnificent Gingerbread Displays at Historic Hotels in the United States of America Source: Historic Hotels of America

LOS ANGELES–Iconic Holiday Curmudgeon Returns to Mobile in Jam City’s Panda Pop “Grinchmas” Takeover Source: Jam City

SEATTLE–Amazon Extends Holiday Free Shipping Promotion to December 18 and Expands Prime FREE One-Day Shipping (or faster) to 10,000 Cities and Towns Source: Amazon.com, Inc.

CHICAGO–Yule Forget About It: People Forget the Majority of Gifts They Receive, According to a New Groupon SurveySource: Groupon

SAN FRANCISCO–WILLIAMS SONOMA AND STREETEASY PARTNER WITH AWARD-WINNING GINGERBREAD ARTIST TO BUILD ‘GINGERBREAD CITY’ Source: Williams Sonoma

MIAMI–CareCloud Helps Ease Holiday Stress for Urgent Care Centers Source: CareCloud

MENLO PARK, Calif.–Christmas 2018 Powered by Deliv Source: Deliv

LOS ANGELES–Want a Bigger Bonus this Holiday Season? Be a Team Player, According to a Korn Ferry Sales Compensation Analysis Source: Korn Ferry

NEW YORK–Find the Perfect Last-Minute Gift at Macy’s Source: Macy’s

IRVING, Texas–Creative Gifting Made Easy: Michaels Kids Gift Shop Offers Perfect Last-Minute Gifts for Holiday 2018Source: The Michaels Companies, Inc.

MENOMONEE FALLS, Wis.–Kohl’s Offers Last-Minute Holiday Shoppers Around-The-Clock Shopping and Free In-Store Pick Up Through Christmas Eve Source: Kohl’s

WESTBOROUGH, Mass.–Has Santa Been Stumped? Americans Are Running Out of Gift Ideas, According to Survey by BJ’s Wholesale Club Source: BJ’s Wholesale Club

DENVER–SendGrid Publishes Industry’s First Inbox Protection Rate to Increase Cybersecurity and Privacy Transparency Around the Holidays Source: SendGrid, Inc.

LOS ANGELES–Holidays Can be Stressful for Children with Autism and Their Families Source: Alternative Behavior Strategies

SOMERSET, N.J.–Oticon Opn Hearing Aids Save Christmas for Santa Claus Source: Oticon

MONTREAL–CCM Inspires Youth Hockey Players to Do Good This Holiday Season Source: CCM Hockey

LOWELL, Ark.–J.B. Hunt Announces Participation in Wreaths across America for Fifth Consecutive Year Source: J.B. Hunt Transport Services, Inc.

WASHINGTON–Insurance Fraud Grinches: 9 Most-Brazen Insurance Scammers of 2018 Source: Coalition Against Insurance Fraud

NEW YORK–Gillette Venus Teams Up with YouTube Star Remi Cruz for Limited-Edition Razor Source: Procter & Gamble

AUSTIN, Texas–From Holiday Ecommerce to Personalized Learning Experiences, WP Engine’s Digital Experience Platform Enabled Customer Success in 2018 Source: WP Engine

BELLEVUE, Wash.–T-Mobile CEO John Legere Serves Up Leadership Advice and a Mean Pot Roast – in New #SlowCookerSunday CookbookSource: T-Mobile

DALLAS–Mr. Cooper Survey: Holidays Bring Spending Stress to Many Americans Source: Mr. Cooper

NEW YORK–MoviePass Subscribers Get Value-Added Options in 2019 Pricing Plans Source: Helios and Matheson Analytics Inc.

MELVILLE, N.Y.–Equifax Identity Theft Data Poses Risk for Retailers and Shoppers This Holiday Season Source: Intellicheck

SANTA PAULA, Calif.–Limoneira’s 12 Days of Citrus: Surprising Ways to Use Citrus Fruits to Give the Holidays an Unexpected Twist Source: Limoneira Company

SANTA CLARA, Calif.–Psst, Boss, Here’s What Your Employees Want Most This Holiday — Meaningful Work Source: ServiceNow

NORRISTOWN, Pa.–Wild Lights Winter Holiday Festival Opens at Elmwood Park Zoo Source: GES Events

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif.–Holiday Survey Reveals Consumer Shopping Habits This Season Source: Quotient Technology Inc.

NEW YORK–Barnes & Noble Announces Top Gifts to Make the Holidays Special This Season Source: Barnes & Noble, Inc.

AUSTIN, Texas–Whole Foods Market Spreads Holiday Cheer With Return Of 12 Days of Cheese Source: Whole Foods Market

TANNERSVILLE, Pa.–A Heartwarming Story from FDNY Foundation and Camelback Resort to Brighten Your Holiday Season Source: Camelback Resort

ORANGE, Calif.–Western Dental Offers Tips on How to Maintain Good Oral Health During the Holidays Source: Western Dental

FAIRFAX, Va.–Apple Federal Credit Union Tips Help Consumers Avoid Email Scams this Holiday Season Source: Apple Federal Credit Union

CINCINNATI–‘Tis the (Flu) Season: Cintas Offers Tips to Reduce the Spread of Infection During Holiday Travel Source: Cintas Corporation

NEW YORK–B&H Launches Digital Gifting for the Holidays Source: B&H

NEW YORK–Celebrate National Believe Day At Macy’s With Double Donations to Make-A-Wish® and Wishes Across America Source: Macy’s

PITTSBURGH–IDI Consulting Launches Fourth Annual Toys for Tots Drive Source: IDI Consulting

MEMPHIS, Tenn.–FedEx Helps Deliver Holiday Joy with Mobile Gifting Truck Source: FedEx Corp.

LOS ANGELES–PuppySpot Advocates Responsible Puppy Gifting This Holiday Season Source: PuppySpot

BIRMINGHAM, Ala.–Books-A-Million Announces 2018 Holiday Gift Guide Recommendations Source: Books-A-Million

LEXINGTON, Ky.–Holiday Gift Idea: A&W Launches Centennial Book to Benefit Disabled Vets Source: A&W Restaurants

NEW YORK–Majority of Americans Want to Buy Online and Pick-up In-store to Reduce Holiday Shopping Stress This Year Source: Synchrony

NEW YORK–Tim Hortons® U.S. Swaps Snowballs for Snowbits This Holiday Season Source: Tim Hortons®

WASHINGTON–WGL Energy Partners with Children’s National to Light Up Washington Region through ‘Light Up Dr. Bear’ Donation Campaign Source: WGL Energy Services, Inc.

NEW YORK–Barnes & Noble Announces Storytime Pajama Party Featuring The Polar Express in Stores NationwideSource: Barnes & Noble, Inc.

NAPLES, Fla.–Six Out of 10 Americans are Anxious About Bills and Nearly Half are Late on Paying Them, Study ShowsSource: ACI Worldwide

LEHI, Utah & SAN FRANCISCO–Ancestry Breaks November Sales Record Source: Ancestry

ARLINGTON, Va.–Online Shopping and Cyber Monday Break Records Over Thanksgiving Week, Says CTA Source: Consumer Technology Association

NEW YORK–Monetate’s Five Day Global Holiday Ecommerce Analysis Reveals A Drop in Shopping Cart Conversion RateSource: Monetate

SEATTLE–Amazon Announces Record-Breaking Holiday Shopping Weekend: Cyber Monday Once Again Becomes the Single Biggest Shopping Day in the Company’s History with the Most Products Ordered Worldwide Source: Amazon.com, Inc.

SAN FRANCISCO–QUESTLOVE DEBUTS POPCORN COLLECTION WITH WILLIAMS SONOMA Source: Williams Sonoma

PHOENIX–DollarDays’ Nonprofit Purchasing Index Reports Top 10 Most-Wanted Items for the Holiday Season Source: DollarDays

WASHINGTON–Thanksgiving Weekend Multichannel Shopping Up Almost 40 Percent Over Last Year Source: National Retail Federation

LOS ANGELES–Top 5 Reasons to Give the Gift of Popcornopolis Source: Popcornopolis

FRAMINGHAM, Mass.–Shop, Save & Ship: Holidays are Handled Thanks to Staples Source: Staples

WESTBOROUGH, Mass.–So Many Pains, So Little Time! BJ’s Wholesale Club Saves Members from Holiday Hassles with Convenient Shopping Solutions Source: BJ’s Wholesale Club

SEATTLE–“Alexa, Donate to Toys for Tots” Source: Amazon.com, Inc.

REDMOND, Wash.–Nintendo Hits Big Milestones from Thanksgiving to Cyber Monday Source: Nintendo

BOSTON–Wayfair Reports 58% Increase in Direct Retail Sales for Peak Five-Day Holiday Shopping Weekend Source: Wayfair, Inc.

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[andrewdburton]

What Really Goes on at MMM Headquarters

First an announcement: The Pop-up Business school is returning to Longmont this year for two golden weeks in September. Although the free in-person tickets are sold out, we are running a free daily live stream of the highlights, and you should definitely sign up here to join us.

…

I’d love to retire early, but then what? 

…

Although I retired about thirteen years ago, and continue to be retired, about one year ago I opened up a little business on Main Street here in Longmont, Colorado. It is a multi-purpose gathering space, under the guise of a coworking space, with the typical-for-me grandiose name of “Mr. Money Mustache Headquarters”. Or, MMM-HQ for short.

At the time, I wrote a blog post about it, and promised to keep you updated on how it was going. Since then, many people have been asking for updates. Approximately one group of random roadtripping Mustachian tourists has stopped by each day to peer in the windows*. And several people are considering opening their own coworking spaces in other cities, if the case for it looks good.

Although this HQ is a small scale thing (we are hovering at about 50 members and I’d love to get to 80), it has provided me with some great lessons in both life and business, which are long overdue for sharing.

Plus, I can now fully vouch for the idea as a good one for other people to pursue, given the right situation. Owning a coworking or other community-oriented space can be both a good business and a great life choice, for people before or after the early retirement stage.

So, here’s what I’ve learned after launching into the most unexpected business of my life so far:

1: Owning a business can be like a having mental health therapist that pays YOU:

As I always say, early retirement is great, but it doesn’t mean you’re allowed to stop working. You need to accomplish something meaningful with almost every one of your days, whatever “accomplish” and “meaningful” mean to you. You also need to get out of your house, strain your muscles, have positive interactions with other humans, and experience at least a bit of hardship. These are simply parts of the recipe for Human happiness, like a series of buttons you can press to get more of it.

A therapeutic January morning in the Prisonyard Gym with special guest Jesse Mecham

So in my case, adding HQ to my life has been a very nice way to press more of those buttons. Almost every morning, I walk or bike or jog the 1.2 miles down to the building bright and early, open up all the doors for some fresh air, put on some music, and sweep the floors or make coffee or set things straight in preparation for the day. Then I head out to the patio and the “Prisonyard” outdoor gym beyond to do some basic weight training before I get sucked too deeply into computer work or any to-do lists.

As the day goes on, there will be a random stream of members and conversations and tasks and meetings and errands around town, which is just unpredictable enough to keep each day fun.

And the best part of it all is that it’s completely optional work. I can choose not to visit, and the members take up the slack and care for the place themselves. I can go on vacation and nothing blows up while I’m gone.

Owning a coworking space has all the benefits of having a really good office job where you like all of your coworkers, except without the accompanying obligations or politics. I refer to it as my therapist because a visit never fails to put me in a good mood, no matter how I felt before deciding to head down there. And a healthy and reliable way to make yourself feel great is an important part of any life.

2: It’s easy to arrange big events, but slower to create a consistently buzzing daily scene.

The year started big, with about 90 people crammed in for the first pop-up business school. Then, the vibe flipped around completely as we moved on to just a few people hanging around during normal days, working on laptops or perhaps the squat rack. But there have also been a pretty good series of after-hours events including barbecues, potlucks, regular meetups of the Northern Colorado Mustachians Group, a visit and Q/A session with YNAB founder Jesse Mecham, a Virtual Reality demo night, a music jam or two, and various charity and learning events and markets.

The annual Beer Club charitable meeting, comprised mostly of my neighborhood Dad friends.

On the down side, it takes more work to meet and sign up each new member than I expected, and we tend to lose more than expected, as people who signed up early but realized they don’t really need a coworking space have dropped out. And in the classic Blogger’s Dilemma where the demographic of the audience often reflects that of the writer, we end up with quite a high percentage of well-to-do white males in our 30s and 40s, which could lead to the term “Broworking Space”. But I’m trying to break this trend!

On the upside, the community side has been just as good as I had hoped. Thanks to the magic of our private Slack group, Members of HQ have been helping each other with both business and leisure pursuits on a daily basis and the connection has helped all of us including me. I often joke that my primary purpose for this coworking space is as a “Friend Harvesting Machine”, and it is living up to that promise.

3: The Money Side of Things

In principle, coworking is a good business model because it works a bit like a gym: you can have a large number of members sharing a common space because not everyone is there every day. This is why there are so many companies expanding into the business like WeWork, Regus, Proximity, Galvanize, and a zillion more.

But like any business, your income and spending need to be balanced.  I’ve deliberately gone low on both sides, by starting with an affordable building and subsidizing it with my own mostly-unpaid labor. Because of this, the $2500 per month income (50 members at $50 each) is enough to sustain the place including property taxes, utilities, maintenance, beer (and artisinal coffee from one of our own members!) The downside of this approach is that our space is smaller and less fancy than other coworking spots. It was really just one big room until I opened the Tinyhouse conference room in June.  Since the space is still way underused on any given workday, we could easily double this to 100 members, which would bring the business up to $60,000 of gross annual income – more than enough to sustain any reasonable lifestyle with very part-time hours.

Normal coworking spaces will tend to have a much larger building, with hundreds of members paying between $150 and $300+ per month for semi-private working spaces, or more for fully dedicated offices. This leads to higher rent and utility costs, plus the need for at least one full-time administrator and even a receptionist (although both can be the same person, which could be you if you are motivated.) The end result is a good income stream, at the expense of a business that requires real work on a fixed schedule.

So you can see why MMM-HQ is taking the slower paced road, for now.

4: So, should I start my own? (or join one?)

If you’ve got the time and energy, hell yes!

If you are thinking of opening a space in roughly the MMM-HQ model (or already have one), feel free to give me the details by dropping me an email via my about->contact form. If you start by putting up a good website with your proposed building/location, amenities, monthly cost and your contact info, I will link to it from my own HQ page, which will then become a directory for a network of community-oriented Mustachian coworking spaces. You can gather interested parties first before taking the plunge, although I would suggest that you only do this if you are financially well established and not overly dependent on the whims of bank financing.

Although I would (of course) charge no franchise fees, we could still set up an informal sharing arrangement where members of any Mustachian Headquarters affiliate location would be free to visit any other one.

And if you are wondering if joining a club like this is a worthwhile use of your own fifty bucks a month, I have to say it’s hard to see the downside as long as you use the amenities and like socializing with other people. If free coffee, beer, work space, an outdoor gym, tool library/workshop and access to fifty local entrepreneurs is not worth it to you, then I’m not sure what is!

—

In The Comments: Do you have any questions or comments about this or any other lifestyle or post-retirement business ideas? I’d be happy to answer them, and hopefully many other entrepreneur-readers will be willing to share their own knowledge and experience as well. 

And Once Again: sign up for next week’s live stream series on how to open a Mustachian business, here!

—

*Out of respect to the members who are in there trying to get real work done, please don’t show up unannounced – instead, join one of our public meetups if you happen to be in the area, which I always announce on Twitter and usually Facebook too.

from Finance http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2018/09/05/what-really-goes-on-at-mmm-headquarters/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[damonbation]

What Really Goes on at MMM Headquarters

First an announcement: The Pop-up Business school is returning to Longmont this year for two golden weeks in September. Although the free in-person tickets are sold out, we are running a free daily live stream of the highlights, and you should definitely sign up here to join us.

…

I’d love to retire early, but then what? 

…

Although I retired about thirteen years ago, and continue to be retired, about one year ago I opened up a little business on Main Street here in Longmont, Colorado. It is a multi-purpose gathering space, under the guise of a coworking space, with the typical-for-me grandiose name of “Mr. Money Mustache Headquarters”. Or, MMM-HQ for short.

At the time, I wrote a blog post about it, and promised to keep you updated on how it was going. Since then, many people have been asking for updates. Approximately one group of random roadtripping Mustachian tourists has stopped by each day to peer in the windows*. And several people are considering opening their own coworking spaces in other cities, if the case for it looks good.

Although this HQ is a small scale thing (we are hovering at about 50 members and I’d love to get to 80), it has provided me with some great lessons in both life and business, which are long overdue for sharing.

Plus, I can now fully vouch for the idea as a good one for other people to pursue, given the right situation. Owning a coworking or other community-oriented space can be both a good business and a great life choice, for people before or after the early retirement stage.

So, here’s what I’ve learned after launching into the most unexpected business of my life so far:

1: Owning a business can be like a having mental health therapist that pays YOU:

As I always say, early retirement is great, but it doesn’t mean you’re allowed to stop working. You need to accomplish something meaningful with almost every one of your days, whatever “accomplish” and “meaningful” mean to you. You also need to get out of your house, strain your muscles, have positive interactions with other humans, and experience at least a bit of hardship. These are simply parts of the recipe for Human happiness, like a series of buttons you can press to get more of it.

A therapeutic January morning in the Prisonyard Gym with special guest Jesse Mecham

So in my case, adding HQ to my life has been a very nice way to press more of those buttons. Almost every morning, I walk or bike or jog the 1.2 miles down to the building bright and early, open up all the doors for some fresh air, put on some music, and sweep the floors or make coffee or set things straight in preparation for the day. Then I head out to the patio and the “Prisonyard” outdoor gym beyond to do some basic weight training before I get sucked too deeply into computer work or any to-do lists.

As the day goes on, there will be a random stream of members and conversations and tasks and meetings and errands around town, which is just unpredictable enough to keep each day fun.

And the best part of it all is that it’s completely optional work. I can choose not to visit, and the members take up the slack and care for the place themselves. I can go on vacation and nothing blows up while I’m gone.

Owning a coworking space has all the benefits of having a really good office job where you like all of your coworkers, except without the accompanying obligations or politics. I refer to it as my therapist because a visit never fails to put me in a good mood, no matter how I felt before deciding to head down there. And a healthy and reliable way to make yourself feel great is an important part of any life.

2: It’s easy to arrange big events, but slower to create a consistently buzzing daily scene.

The year started big, with about 90 people crammed in for the first pop-up business school. Then, the vibe flipped around completely as we moved on to just a few people hanging around during normal days, working on laptops or perhaps the squat rack. But there have also been a pretty good series of after-hours events including barbecues, potlucks, regular meetups of the Northern Colorado Mustachians Group, a visit and Q/A session with YNAB founder Jesse Mecham, a Virtual Reality demo night, a music jam or two, and various charity and learning events and markets.

The annual Beer Club charitable meeting, comprised mostly of my neighborhood Dad friends.

On the down side, it takes more work to meet and sign up each new member than I expected, and we tend to lose more than expected, as people who signed up early but realized they don’t really need a coworking space have dropped out. And in the classic Blogger’s Dilemma where the demographic of the audience often reflects that of the writer, we end up with quite a high percentage of well-to-do white males in our 30s and 40s, which could lead to the term “Broworking Space”. But I’m trying to break this trend!

On the upside, the community side has been just as good as I had hoped. Thanks to the magic of our private Slack group, Members of HQ have been helping each other with both business and leisure pursuits on a daily basis and the connection has helped all of us including me. I often joke that my primary purpose for this coworking space is as a “Friend Harvesting Machine”, and it is living up to that promise.

3: The Money Side of Things

In principle, coworking is a good business model because it works a bit like a gym: you can have a large number of members sharing a common space because not everyone is there every day. This is why there are so many companies expanding into the business like WeWork, Regus, Proximity, Galvanize, and a zillion more.

But like any business, your income and spending need to be balanced.  I’ve deliberately gone low on both sides, by starting with an affordable building and subsidizing it with my own mostly-unpaid labor. Because of this, the $2500 per month income (50 members at $50 each) is enough to sustain the place including property taxes, utilities, maintenance, beer (and artisinal coffee from one of our own members!) The downside of this approach is that our space is smaller and less fancy than other coworking spots. It was really just one big room until I opened the Tinyhouse conference room in June.  Since the space is still way underused on any given workday, we could easily double this to 100 members, which would bring the business up to $60,000 of gross annual income – more than enough to sustain any reasonable lifestyle with very part-time hours.

Normal coworking spaces will tend to have a much larger building, with hundreds of members paying between $150 and $300+ per month for semi-private working spaces, or more for fully dedicated offices. This leads to higher rent and utility costs, plus the need for at least one full-time administrator and even a receptionist (although both can be the same person, which could be you if you are motivated.) The end result is a good income stream, at the expense of a business that requires real work on a fixed schedule.

So you can see why MMM-HQ is taking the slower paced road, for now.

4: So, should I start my own? (or join one?)

If you’ve got the time and energy, hell yes!

If you are thinking of opening a space in roughly the MMM-HQ model (or already have one), feel free to give me the details by dropping me an email via my about->contact form. If you start by putting up a good website with your proposed building/location, amenities, monthly cost and your contact info, I will link to it from my own HQ page, which will then become a directory for a network of community-oriented Mustachian coworking spaces. You can gather interested parties first before taking the plunge, although I would suggest that you only do this if you are financially well established and not overly dependent on the whims of bank financing.

Although I would (of course) charge no franchise fees, we could still set up an informal sharing arrangement where members of any Mustachian Headquarters affiliate location would be free to visit any other one.

And if you are wondering if joining a club like this is a worthwhile use of your own fifty bucks a month, I have to say it’s hard to see the downside as long as you use the amenities and like socializing with other people. If free coffee, beer, work space, an outdoor gym, tool library/workshop and access to fifty local entrepreneurs is not worth it to you, then I’m not sure what is!

—

In The Comments: Do you have any questions or comments about this or any other lifestyle or post-retirement business ideas? I’d be happy to answer them, and hopefully many other entrepreneur-readers will be willing to share their own knowledge and experience as well. 

And Once Again: sign up for next week’s live stream series on how to open a Mustachian business, here!

—

*Out of respect to the members who are in there trying to get real work done, please don’t show up unannounced – instead, join one of our public meetups if you happen to be in the area, which I always announce on Twitter and usually Facebook too.

from Money 101 http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2018/09/05/what-really-goes-on-at-mmm-headquarters/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[technato]

Instruments to Make Music With Aliens: Gamma Ray Bells and Gravitational Wave Cellos

Experimental philosopher Jonathon Keats is playing some crazy cosmic vibes

Sure, humans have tried before to communicate with any extraterrestrials who might be out there. Most notably, the two Voyager probes that launched in 1977 both carry a copy of the golden record, a trove NASA intended to communicate “a story of our world” with images, nature sounds, music, and spoken greetings. Voyager 1 has already left our solar system and is venturing out into interstellar space with its record, and Voyager 2 is following not far behind. 

But experimental philosopher Jonathon Keats says that if we really want to convince aliens to make first contact, we should do more than just tell them our story. “If you’re in a bar and hear someone who just keeps talking about themselves, it gets annoying,” he says. “I’m trying to make something that’s more universal and more inclusive. Something that’s not only about us, but also the connection that we have to them—whoever they are.”

So, Keats has founded Intergalactic Omniphonics—which he calls a startup and others might call a fine example of concept art—to bring sentient beings together through music. He has created several new instruments that he hopes will be accessible to aliens, even if their senses are considerably different from ours. He has also written a piece of music that he calls a universal anthem to express our commonality. 

If you happen to be in San Francisco this evening, you can swing by the Modernism Gallery to check out the instruments; Intergalactic Omniphonics is having a launch party there and will be doing some demos. There will be music in the air, though you won’t actually hear it.

Photo: Michelle Troszak

The ultrasonic organ, made from dog whistles, may get a reaction from aliens who have a broader hearing range than humans. Maybe we can play it for beings hailing from the Canis Major constellation.

The simplest of the instruments that Keats created during a residency at University of North Carolina Asheville’s STEAM studio, in collaboration with the sculptor Amelia Pate, is the dog whistle organ. Recognizing that the human hearing range is extremely limited—spanning the audio frequencies of about 20 to 20,000 hertz—Keats and Pate built an organ with a foot pump that sends a flow of air through the various whistles. The valves atop the whistles can be opened and closed to control the pitch.

Photo: Michelle Troszak

These gamma bells may not produce the kind of tintinnabulation that we’re accustomed to, but the gamma rays they emit could be music to alien ears.

But what if the aliens aren’t sensitive to the changes in air pressure that we call sound? “Music is the modulation of frequency and amplitude over time,” Keats says. “So anything that allows for that can carry a tune.” He turned to the electromagnetic spectrum, but didn’t want to limit himself to the portion that’s visible to the human eye. He decided to work with gamma rays, which are emitted by radioactive materials.

And the source of his radioactive materials? Ebay, of course. “I got radium in an old watch dial, and uranium in an old marble,” he says. To make the gamma ray bells ring out gaily, the player lifts the little lead casings that cover the materials—and can do so in a rhythmic fashion to make a strange kind of song.  

Another elegant instrument is his cello that sends out gravitational waves—a musical modality that he says has huge potential for interstellar communication because the waves move through the universe at the speed of light. While humans only detected these waves for the first time in 2015, and only because an epic merger of two black holes sent out a powerful signal, other beings might be more sensitive to them. Thus, an instrument that controls the frequency and amplitude of faint gravitational waves might send a musical message to the aliens.

Photo: Jonathon Keats

As Jonathon Keats didn’t have access to a black hole or neutron star, his gravitational wave cello uses a swinging ball bearing to generate its waves.

The cellist plays the instrument by swinging ball bearings of different masses. Keats notes that players have to keep their body movements minimal, otherwise they’ll overpower their cellos’ waves with those generated by their bodies. 

These instruments, and others that Keats is busily building, would allow for cosmic jam sessions between humanity and any beings who are out there. He’d like his fellow humans to feel the joys of connecting with the “other,” and to apply any lessons learned more locally. “We could help people recognize that it’s not so outlandish to communicate and build society with those we consider alien,” he says. “I would love to have a jam session between us and [the nearby exoplanet] Gliese 581d. And I would love to have one across the U.S. and Mexican border.” 

As for what to play with these instruments (beyond obvious songs like David Bowie’s Starman), Keats gave that question some thought as well. His answer was a universal anthem that he hopes will be “cognitively meaningful” to any being in the universe. “I’m sure I’ve failed,” he says ruefully, “I’m sure there are some beings that are feeling left out. But I tried my best.”

The anthem takes as its theme the second law of thermodynamics, which holds that any closed system, including the universe, inevitably becomes more entropic and disordered over time. Against this backdrop, we, the living beings of the universe, extract useful energy from our environments during our life-spans, to make our our own little selves less entropic. But eventually we die and decay and our energy goes back into the mix.  

“The anthem communicates what it is to be alive, since that’s what we have in common with every organism on this planet, and any organism elsewhere in universe,” Keats says. To represent this concept musically, the anthem’s score calls for a soloist, representing beings everywhere, to make music that goes from a state of greater to lesser entropy, as the larger orchestra tends toward greater entropy in the background. Ultimately, the soloist voice becomes more entropic to represent death, and the orchestra becomes marginally less entropic as the being’s energy is added back in. Then it repeats. That’s the cycle of life.

Keats would love to send the anthem beaming out into space, perhaps via the powerful Arecibo radio telescope in Puerto Rico. Until then, he says, “I’m hoping we can get it played at some ballparks.”

Instruments to Make Music With Aliens: Gamma Ray Bells and Gravitational Wave Cellos syndicated from https://jiohowweb.blogspot.com