#and the bridge i keep taking pictures of because early game sends you back and forth in the daunt

[hzdtrees]

Daunting trees

[anna-justice]

come back (be here)

part one of upstead: but make it taylor swift

summary: I guess you're in New York today, I don't wanna need you this way (or: hailey is in new york and jay misses her more than you could ever imagine). read on ao3

…

and this is when the feeling sinks in, I don't wanna miss you like this,

come back...be here, 

come back...be here

I guess you're in New York today, I don't wanna need you this way,

come back...be here,

come back...be here

taxi cabs and busy streets,

that never bring you back to me,

I can't help but wish you took me with you

this is falling in love in the cruelest way,

this is falling for you and you are worlds away,

in New York, be here

~ come back...be here by taylor swift

…

day one

It had been 12 hours since Jay dropped her off at the airport, 12 hours since she gave him a teary smile and jumped out of the cab, 12 hours since he watched her disappear behind the glass doors, and it felt like it had been forever. 

He walked in the district with a new darkness looming over his head, he felt like a storm cloud was following him around. It had only been 12 hours, but he already felt like the life had been sucked out of him. He loved his job, he loved his team, but there was something missing and he couldn’t shake it. He wasn’t sure he would until she was sitting in front of him again. 

As he climbed the stairs to the bullpen - ignoring the knowing look from his desk sergeant - he gave the room a once over. It was like he was taken back in time. The familiar feeling of dread settling in his stomach as he ascended the stairs alone, it had been many years since he felt a similar sense of loneliness. 

Erin was an afterthought now, but in that moment he felt like a child again. The same dumb kid who lied and slept with his “informants,” who always took it too far and leaped before he even thought to look. He hadn’t been that person in a long time, not since Hailey. He still leaped but now he had someone who took the jump with him and she always made sure that he looked first. There was part of him that was scared with her gone, he would have no one to keep him from falling off the deep end. 

“Earth to Halstead.” He heard and then was startled by a hand waving in front of his face. He picked his head up out of his hands and laid back into his chair, feigning a stretch. “You good man? You look like death.” It was Kevin, who had a tiny smirk on his face. 

Jay nodded, chuckling nervously. “Yeah, uh, just didn’t sleep well.” 

Kim stifled a laugh across the room, Vanessa gave him a knowing look  and Adam shook his head, leaning on his desk. “Yeah, okay…” He waltzed across the room to Jay and Kevin, motioning to Hailey’s empty desk, “She have an okay flight?” He asked, knowing that Jay knew.

It caught him off guard, he wasn’t lying about not sleeping well, but he didn’t say that it was because he stayed up all night waiting for Hailey to say that she made it safely to her hotel. He nodded, “Yeah, she landed at like 3:00 this morning, said the room they put her up in was nice.” 

“Good,” Kevin said, nudging Jay’s shoulder. “Glad they are taking care of our girl.” The words made Jay crack a smile, the first one since he had bid Hailey goodbye the night before. 

He glanced at the empty desk again, picking up his phone and snapping a picture of it. He clicked on his partner’s contact info and drafted a text. 

Jay: My pens miss you. 

It was short, and could be taken as sweet, but it was still enough to make his heart beat a little faster as he hit send. The nerves started to set in immediately after he flipped his phone over. Everyone in the room knew that Hailey would reach across their computer screens to steal a pen or pencil whenever she needed, hers were lost as soon as she got them: whether they had fallen from behind her ear or were dropped on the floor. She never had one, but Jay found himself worried that she would think it was a little weird that he had noticed all those things too. 

His phone buzzed against the fake wood not long after, and he turned it over a little faster than he would like to admit. 

Hailey: I miss them too, you buy the good kind. 

A grin across his face as soon as he read it, and he coughed out a subtle laugh. For a second - only a second - he let himself pretend they weren’t talking about pens, but they were. 

Jay: Have a good day :) 

Her response came almost immediately. 

Hailey: You too Jay :)

He leaned back in seat, sighing. It wasn’t the same as watching her from across their desks or clearing a scene together, or even just hearing her voice. But, it was the first day, he needed to pace himself. There would be plenty of time to miss her, and for now, this was enough.

day two

Jay poured himself another cup of coffee, he hadn’t been able to focus all day. He was telling everyone else that he had a headache, but he knew it was from Hailey’s words still ringing in his head. 

“I miss the wind, and you.” 

It was literally all he could think about since their conversation early that morning as they both walked into work - unfortunately - 800 miles apart. He would admit, it was much better than his lonely walk into the district the day before, it was almost like she was with him, but not close enough. 

He took a big sip of his coffee, pinching the bridge of his nose (okay, so maybe he really did have a headache). The bullpen was buzzing, everyone else seemingly unaffected by his partner’s absence. He made his way back towards his desk, dodging Kevin, who scored against Adam in their game of trashketball (their favorite pass times on slow days). 

“You wanna play the winner?” Kevin asked, stepping back for Adam to make a free throw (Kim called a foul). 

Jay shook his head, “Nah man, I’m good.” He stood over her desk, staring down at the stack of files that were left there. She was gone in such a hurry that she didn’t even get the chance to clean it off. He picked up the one on top, pretending to read it. 

“Hey,” He heard from behind him. He flinched, spinning to face the brunette behind him. “You good?” Vanessa asked. 

Jay sighed, “Uh, yeah, just looking at Hailey’s paperwork. It needs to be filed.” He threw the folder back down and leaned against it. “I just hope it’s done.” He joked weakly. 

Vanessa looked down at the pile and smirked at him, laying a hand over the top. “I’m sure it is, it’s not like Hailey to leave unfinished business.” Jay didn’t dare raise his gaze to look at her, he knew there was shock written all over his face. Not that he should be surprised, it wasn’t like Vanessa to beat around the bush. 

Maybe he was reading into things, but he was almost 100% sure they weren’t talking about paperwork. He laughed it off, “Yeah, she always finishes before me and then proof reads mine. She doesn’t trust me to do it right.” 

The brunette shook her head, chuckling with him. She shrugged, “Or maybe it’s just an excuse to spend time with you.” With that she waltzed into the break room, throwing a wink over her shoulder at a stunned Jay. 

He wasn’t one to talk about his feelings (or really even acknowledge them) and the thought of being as open as Vanessa had just been was making him want to vomit. It was so easy for her to throw that at him - that Hailey likes spending time with him - why was it so hard for him to say it? It’s not like he didn’t know, she did too, they were each other’s favorite people. It had just ever been said so directly. 

His feet carried him faster than his brain could catch up and he followed Vanessa, closing the door behind him. “What Jay?” She asked, without even turning around. 

Jay took a breath, he hadn’t really thought about what to say here, but he needed something. It had only been two days, but he was going crazy. He missed her like crazy. “You are being cryptic.” 

“Actually,” Vanessa said, turning to face him. “I’m being the opposite of cryptic.”

Jay shook his head, “Really? I don’t think so. I just feel like I’m reading into what you are saying or that you are implying something-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there, before you completely eat your own foot.” She smiled softly, “I’m not implying or saying anything Jay. I’m just saying that it’s okay to miss her and it’s okay to worry about her, she’s your partner. You’ve got to have her back.” She winked at him and headed for the door, “Just, don’t be afraid to tell her that. Tell her what you are feeling.” 

After she left the room, Jay let out a sigh. He muttered under his breath, “And she says she’s not being cryptic.” But, even if Vanessa was talking in riddles, she was right. He pulled out his phone and clicked on her name. 

Jay: Just so you know, I miss you too. A lot. 

The typing bubble appeared on the screen seconds later.

Hailey: Me too. A lot. 

day three

The third day was Tuesday, which was the day that he and Hailey normally had off, just not from each other. They would meet at her place at eight and go to the gym together then grab breakfast, then from there it was a toss up depending on each of their days. However, almost every time they ended up at the shooting range. Today was no different. 

Jay left his apartment 10 minutes later than normal, arriving at their gym alone at 8:15. It was weird walking in alone. Sure, he went to workout plenty without her, but never on a Tuesday, never at that time of day and never at that gym. There was one right around the corner from his apartment, but Hailey was weird about working out in front of people and she felt more comfortable on her own, so he just got another membership. He never really thought anything of it.

Not until now, walking into Hailey’s gym alone felt wrong. But, what felt worse was that it hadn’t even accrued to him to just go to his own. No, Tuesday’s were different, and he liked them. He just wasn’t sure if he liked them without her.

He walked in, ran several miles on the treadmill and had moved to the weight station when a random girl approached him. He continued his reps as he noticed her making her way towards him. “Hey macho,” She said, smiling brightly, “You mind spotting me?” 

Jay looked around him - he was kind of in the middle of something - but he didn’t really mind. So, he shrugged and set his weight down before following her. 

She laid down on the bench and positioned herself under the metal bar, signaling to Jay to help her lift it off. She lowered it slowly, taking a breath before pushing it back up, “So,” She huffed, “Where’s your girlfriend?” 

Jay’s eyebrows laced together, “I don’t have a girlfriend.” He said matter of factly. 

“Then who is that blonde girl you are always here with?” She asked, starting to struggle at pushing the bar back up. 

Jay realized two things. One: this girl had been watching him for a bit and decided to make a move when his “girlfriend” wasn’t around. That’s off putting. And two: she thought Hailey was his girlfriend, and that made him smile. “That’s my partner, I’m a cop. Detective really.” 

He caught the bar with ease as she lost steam, watching her cautiously as she sat up. “Good to know.” She grabbed her water bottle from beside the bench and gave him a smirk, “Thank you.” Jay gave her a short nod before retreating back to his bench, he was ready to be done and get out of there.

About 30 minutes later, Jay walked into the locker room to grab his bag from his locker, when he got there, there was a note taped to the door. 

If that really isn’t your girlfriend, give me a call ;) 

~ Maddie (xxx-xxx-xxxx) 

Jay peeled it off and shook his head before grabbing his grab, tossing it in the trash as he left the room. He made his way to his truck, figuring he had time to shower at home before heading to the shooting range. He and Hailey hadn’t been in a few weeks, and he was due for recertification (honestly, he didn’t even know why they bothered, he got a perfect score everytime). 

About an hour later he was on his way there, and the familiar drive felt strange coming from a different place. If he was being honest, everything felt strange. 

When he pulled in the parking lot, he parked in his normal spot and jumped out. It was almost never busy at 10 on a Tuesday. He looked up and took in the sign out front The Old Chicago Range, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture, sending it to Hailey. 

Jay: Be jealous :)

As he pulled the door open, he met familiar faces. That was their favorite thing about this place. He would admit, maybe a shooting range isn’t exactly the kind of family business you would want to pass down, but it had worked for the owners. The same four men had been working there for the past three years, and long before Hailey and Jay started going there. The place was relatively small, but they were always in great company. It was owned by 2 brothers and their cousins, whose fathers had passed it to them. All of them were ex-military or retired CPD officers, so Jay felt right at home. 

“Jay!” One of the brothers, Robbie, said from behind the counter. He jumped out of his seat and rounded it to shake Jay’s hand. 

Jay took it, squeezing it firmly, the way they were both taught. “Hey Rob, good to see you.” 

The older man headed back towards the computer, “Same as always?” He asked.

He almost said yes, but then he realized Hailey wasn’t getting their guns out of the truck. “No, uh, just me today.” 

Robbie looked up, it seemed a little dramatic, but they had never come without each other before. “Oh, is everything alright?” 

Jay quickly jumped in, “Yeah, Hailey is just on assignment in New York, she’ll be back soon.” As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted saying them. Would she be back soon?

“Well good,” Robbie said. “You wanna go try out the new glock?”

“Hell yeah.” 

Jay followed Robbie through the narrow hallway and to the back where the actual indoor range was, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket. 

Hailey: Don’t worry, I am

Hailey: Are you taking your side partner to our place??

Jay chuckled to himself, trying to control his heartbeat. Our place. Their place. He liked the thought of that, a lot.

Jay: No, never

Hailey: Good

Hailey: Don’t have too much fun without me

Jay: Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to send you a picture of my perfect score

Hailey: Yeah ok whatever

They made it to the window and Jay was about to put his phone away when it buzzed again. 

Hailey: Text me when you’re done

Jay: I will

He smiled bigger, ignoring Robbie’s and now his brother Tim’s sideways glances. He picked up the headphones and secured them, taking the gun in his hand and watched the marker slide back to the other end of the room. Jay raised the gun and fired the first shot, picturing what he always did.

When he was in Ranger training and long after, they were taught to kill with no remorse. That was their job: to take out the enemy to save the masses. But, Jay had never been good at taking a life, innocent or not. They had trained them to have no emotional attachment, they were going after combattants, terrorists, truly horrible people in the eyes of all soldiers, but it didn’t matter. Jay had a big heart, even if he didn’t show it, so he came up with his own way to cope. 

Maybe it was unhealthy, but every time he had to shoot his gun overseas, he would imagine that his mom’s life was at risk, that she was the one in danger, not him or anyone else. And that made it easier, in the moment, at least. Somewhere along the way, he stopped imagining his mom and he started imagining Hailey. She was something that he would protect at all costs, no questions asked. 

When he finished, the marker slid forward so he could see, and much to his surprise, he scored a 99. Something that hadn’t happened since before Erin left, he was stunned. Jay didn’t care about the score, but something deep in his chest was making him squirm. Was he really this much of a mess without her? 

When he got back to his truck a little while later, he pulled out his phone, texting his partner. 

Jay: You missed out, the new glock they got in is a beauty

Hailey: I’ll have to try it when I get back

Jay took a deep breath, she’s coming back, she’s coming back, she’s coming back. Even she knows that, why couldn’t he get that through his head.

Jay: For sure

Hailey: So, no score gloating?

Jay: Not today, I got a 99

Hailey: WHAT

Hailey: That’s never happened 

Jay: Yeah, I know

Jay: Something was missing.

day four

Jay poured over the set of photos and stacks of reports for the third or fourth time, he didn’t find anything, but there was no way he wasn’t missing something. He needed another set of eyes, he needed Hailey’s eyes. 

It was just him and Trudy left, not that Trudy ever really went home when Mouch was on shift, everyone else had taken their frustration over the case in stride and gone home, but Jay couldn’t let it go. 

They were stuck on a string of robberies involving department stores, with multiple casualties, some of them kids. They just couldn’t find the connection between the stores. They were scattered all across the district, sold different things and nothing specific was ever stolen. And the crew, they were ruthless, they didn’t care who got hurt, if they were in the way, they were taken out. 

Jay heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs, perking up in his seat. It was Trudy with a white takeout box in her hand. “Serge.” Jay said, smiling, “Have I told you lately that you’re my favorite person in the world?” 

“Haha,” Trudy laughed, giving him a faked stink eye. “No you have not, but it’s a good thing Upton’s not here to hear you say that.” She joked. 

She watched Jay’s face fall immediately, “Good thing.” He said with a forced smile. 

Trudy sat the box down on his desk and perched herself on Hailey’s empty one across from him. “You miss her don’t you?” She asked, a small smirk playing on her lips. 

Jay sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Of course I do.” He said, the words tumbling out of his mouth with ease. Trudy’s smirk grew and Jay just shrugged, “She’s my partner.” 

Trudy stood, taking in the man that she had watched grow so much. She couldn’t explain the amount of pride she felt when she thought of the men and women in intelligence. She and Mouch didn’t get the chance to have their own children, so she always saw Hank’s unit as her own little family. She was proud of Jay especially, he had turned into an incredible cop and an even better man. She rested a hand on his shoulder, “Yeah, I know.” She sighed, “Go home soon okay? Get some sleep.” 

“Yes ma’am,” He said, squeezing her hand. As Trudy headed for the stairs, Jay watched her go. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but Trudy became someone that he could really count on. And she was the closest thing he had to a mom, and he really needed his mom right now. “Hey Trudy.” He called and she spun around. 

“Yeah,” She said. 

Jay shook his head a bit, his voice coming out quiet, “She’s coming back right?” 

Trudy was taken aback by Jay’s forwardness, and she wished she had an answer for him, but she didn’t. The feds had a way of holding on to good people, and Hailey was the best. But for all their sakes, especially his, she hoped Hailey would come home, despite the fancy suits, despite the better pay and the sleek and shiny offices, she hoped she would choose Chicago. But she couldn’t really say that to Jay. “She better, she owes me a bottle of Tequila.” 

That got Jay to laugh a bit, looking down at his desk as he smiled, remembering the bet that Hailey lost one day when they were all Tailgating a few months before, she had yet to pay up. “Yeah, she does. Thanks Serge.” 

“Anytime,” Trudy said, “Goodnight Chuckles.” She joked, and then she was gone. 

Jay set the box to the side, no longer feeling like eating. His stomach was in knots. He returned to his previous position, pouring over the files once again. He couldn’t figure out what he was missing. 

He caught sight of his phone on his desk, making a split second decision and calling his partner. She answered on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Hey,” He said, just enjoying hearing her voice for a moment. He snapped out of it, “How’s working with the feds?” Is it wrong that a small part of him wanted her to say that she hated it.

“Good.” She said quickly. “Different, but good.” Jay heard a door click over the line. “Actually, you have great timing. I was getting off the elevator when you called me.” 

Jay glanced at the clock on his monitor, it read 12:04. “Damn, that’s late.” 

“Yeah, anyway. What’s up?” She asked. Suddenly, Jay felt bad asking her for help, she had just finished her day and she probably needed sleep. “Jay?” 

“Oh, uh, I was just gonna ask for your opinion on a case, but you need sleep. I’ll let you-”

“No.” Hailey said, cutting him off. “I’m wired, I won’t be able to sleep, it’s been a crazy night. What do you need?” 

Great. A crazy night. They were probably doing a big raid or something else with their big budget and fancy tech stuff. And Hailey was probably really good at it. “I just can’t find the connection between the stores in this string of robberies. People are dying, we’re running out of time.” 

“Do you have the digital files?” She asked. 

“Yeah.”

“Alright, send them to me. I’ll call you back.” 

Jay did what he was told and not even five minutes later, she called him back. But this time, it was a facetime notification. Jay cautiously slid it open, immediately taking in Hailey’s appearance. She had her phone propped up facing her as she sat on a bed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt with her computer in lap. “Hey.” Jay said, propping his up on his monitor.

“Hey.” She said back, smiling her big, bright, Hailey smile that he didn’t realize he missed so much. It had only been four days, he really needed to pull it together. They stared at each other for a moment, before Hailey visibly tensed. “So, run me through the facts.” 

So he did, he talked her through the case while she looked through photos and reports. Jay was hoping that he would think of something as he explained it all, but he didn’t. 

After a few minutes or silence, Hailey spoke up, “Did you check the security companies?” 

“Yeah, they all use different ones.” He said.

“Ok,” Hailey said, “Wait, check and see if there is some sort of backing. Like a mother company or something.” 

Jay typed for a while before shouting, “Bingo!” He smiled at her through the phone, “Hailey, you got it. They are all financed partially by Graham Consolidated, a big tech company.” 

“Perfect, so what do you think? Personal vendetta against the CEO/Company and they are coming after it’s partners? Maybe it’s Graham’s way of completely taking over the smaller companies?” Hailey said, throwing out ideas.

Jay shrugged, a smile still on his face. “I don’t know, but now I have a place to start. Thank you.” 

“Of course, anytime.” She said. There was a beat. “I really miss you guys, I wasn’t kidding when I said it’s different here.” 

“We - he should have said I - miss you too.” He couldn't help himself, “Different, as in bad?”

Hailey shrugged, trying to find the words, “I don’t know, it’s just more structured. More rules potentially break, but -” She stopped for a second, taking him in and deciding if she really wanted to tell him this. She didn’t want him to look at her any differently. “- maybe that was the point, I guess it need it.” 

She needed it? How could he compete with that? Maybe she was reconsidering her decision, it had only been four days. Jay smiled weakly, “Well, they are lucky to have you.” He said, genuinely.

“Thanks.” She said softly, looking a little disappointed. Had she wanted him to tell her that she better come home? Does she want him to tell her he couldn’t live without her? No way, he couldn’t. A job with the FBI is a big deal, and Hailey was definitely on the path of being offered one. He couldn't get in the way of that. 

Jay took a breath, “I should go. I’ve got lots to do.” He said, forcing a smile. 

“Yeah, ok.” Hailey said, “Goodnight Jay, go home soon.” 

“Goodnight Hailey.” Come home soon. 

day five

“Contrary to popular belief Jay, your body is not bulletproof.” Will said, pressing the bandage flush against his brother's arm. 

Jay rolled his eyes, sighing, “It barely grazed me, there won’t even be a scar…” 

Will huffed, standing straighter and glaring at his brother, he looked at Kim who was standing in the corner of the room. “Hey Kim, when was the last time Jay got shot?”

Kim feigned inquiry, tapping her chin with her finger. “Oh, I don’t know, not even six months ago?” She said, a bit too aggressively. 

“You guys are being dramatic. I’m fine.” Jay insisted. 

“Jay!” Will snapped, “You have gotten shot twice in the past six months. Three times in two years! That’s not normal!” He was obviously frustrated, running his hand through his hair. He didn’t understand what Jay didn’t get, they were all each other had. “You’re not bulletproof, you’re like a damn bullet magnet.” 

Jay held up his hands, “Ok, now you’re being ridiculous -” He was cut off by his phone buzzing on the bed next to him, he picked it up glaring at his brother and temporary partner. The ID ready Hailey Upton. “Which one of you told?” He snapped. Will and Kim both held their hand up in surrender before backing out of the room to give Jay some privacy,  neither of them had spilled the beans. Jay sighed, hitting the green button and answering. “Hey.” 

He was expecting her to scream at him, to be angry, but instead, “Thank God you’re okay.” She sighed out, Jay was taken aback. 

“Yeah Hailey, I’m okay.” 

He heard her soft sniffles over the line. Had she been crying? He felt a pang of guilt in his chest at the thought. “I just got back to the office and I had a text from Adam that just said “Jay got shot” and he wasn’t answering and all I could think about was last time, and -” She stopped herself, taking a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter, I-I was just worried.”

“I’m fine, I promise.” Jay said calmly, sensing her panic even 800 miles away. 

“Okay,” She said, sounding defeated. “What happened?” 

Jay shrugged, immediately regretting it. He would never admit it out loud, but his arm was really sore. “It was a run of the mill shoot out, I just jumped out of the way too slow. It just grazed my arm, there was barely any blood.” That was a lie, there was a lot of blood. He had to change his clothes, they were pretty much ruined. 

He wasn’t sure what he was trying to do by omitting how bad it could have been, maybe he was protecting her, but he couldn’t bear her blaming herself for this. He knew he would. If he was stuck in New York and Hailey got hurt in Chicago without him there to back, he would blame himself too. “Which arm?” She asked quickly. 

“Left.” He sighed out, hoping that maybe she would ignore it.

“Jay!” She shouted, “You aren’t even done with PT for your left shoulder!”

“Hailey.” He said, only slightly mocking her, “The bad guys don’t have a copy of my line of duty injuries report.” 

He heard her stifle a laugh and he smiled to himself. Bingo. He knew she wasn’t really mad at him, she was just worried. He would have reacted the exact same way. “Okay, fair enough. But, seriously, you have to be more careful.” There was a beat, “I don’t know what I would do without you.” 

Jay literally felt his heart stop in his chest. He didn’t know what he would do without her either, and this was the closest he ever wanted to be to finding out. “Hailey, you won’t have to find out. I’m not going anywhere.”

Hailey sighed audibly, “You can’t promise me that.” 

“No, but I can sure as hell try.” He joked.

That earned a laugh from her, causing a small smile to grace his face. “Yeah, you better.” They sat there in silence for a while, finding comfort in only the assurance of the other one's presence. “Don’t scare me like that again.” 

“I won’t Hailes.” Jay couldn’t put his finger on it, but something about this felt different than the last time. He thought back to the day he was released, what his phone had interrupted. It seemed kind of ironic how they were having all of their important conversations that way now. The words were different, but the rest was the same. The pain in her voice, the fear, it made everything all too real. It terrified him, because maybe - just maybe - she needed him just as much as he needed her.

Maybe there was a chance for them after all.

day six

By the next night, Jay was so exhausted that he was sure he would fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. His arm was still sore and he had slept terribly the night before. The shooting, however minor it was, had done a number on him. Nightmares of Hailey being shot plagued his mind all night long.

He had just turned out his light when his phone buzzed on the bedside table, he silently prayed that they hadn’t caught a case. When he flipped it over, he saw it wasn’t from his boss, but from his partner. 

Hailey: Facetime?

Jay was a little embarrassed by how fast he clicked the call button, all his tiredness being thrown out the window, but he would be a fool to waste her forwardness. She picked up on the first ring. “Eager aren’t we?” 

Jay was going something clever back, but he was startled by how beautiful she looked in the shitty hotel lighting. He reached over and switched his lamp on, pretending not to notice the shocked look on Hailey’s face when she realized he was shirtless. However, her gaze didn’t shift away. “See something you like, Upton?” 

Hailey smirked, taking his jab in stride, “What if I say yes?” 

Jay smiled big. Was she flirting with him? “Then I would tell you that I see something I like too.” 

Hailey blushed and Jay’s grin grew three sizes, he wanted to make that happen again, and again, and again. “Good to know.” Her expression softened when she noticed the bandage on his left arm, “How’s your arm?”

Jay shrugged, “Sore, but fine.” She didn’t look convinced. “Hailey, look at me.” She lifted her gaze from her lap, to his eyes on the screen. “I’m okay.” 

She nodded, “Good.” 

“Is everything okay?” He asked, not that he didn’t enjoy it, but he was a little confused on why she had asked him to facetime out of the blue. 

She nodded again, “Yeah actually, everything’s great...I just miss you.” 

“I miss you too Hailes.” He wasn’t exactly sure when he started calling her that, but he liked it a lot. It felt special, like a step forward. “Have you heard anything about coming home?” He knew it was a loaded question, but he was practicing self preservation. If she was changing her mind and staying, he needed time to prepare, no matter how unlikely it was. 

Hailey shrugged, “I don’t know, at least a few more weeks. The girl whose spot I’m in is deep undercover, so we don’t exactly have a timeline.” 

“Okay.”

“I hope it’s soon though, if that counts for anything.” She said quietly. 

“It does,” Jay said, letting out a breath. “A lot actually.” 

“I need to come home, I don’t know how much more of this wheat thin style pizza I can take.” 

Jay laughed out loud, “Oh I get it, you don’t miss me, you just miss deep dish.”

“Finally, it took you long enough.” She said, joking with him. Jay pressed a hand to his chest, feigning being offended. Hailey grinned, rolling over on her side and resting her phone against the pillow next to her. “Shut up, you know I miss you.” 

Jay smiled softly, giving her a small nod of understanding. He did know she missed him, and he missed her like crazy too. He looked into her bright blue eyes, “I wish you took me with you.” He said. 

He could tell he caught her off guard, the shocked expression on her face said it all, and he almost regretted saying it, but not quite. He meant it with his whole heart. “Me too.” She said finally. “OA’s great, but...but he’s not you Jay.” She shook her head, smiling softly to herself. “There’s no one else like you.”

Jay’s heart was pounding in his chest at her words, he was half convinced he was dreaming. “Well that’s good, there’s only enough room for one partner in your life, and I intend on keeping the spot.”

“You better,” She said, staring at him shamelessly. “I don’t want anyone else.” 

“I don’t want anyone else either.” In any way, he thought. 

“Come to New York.” She said quickly, a nervous expression crossing her face for a split second as he watched her realize what she just said. 

Jay cocked an eyebrow, “What?” He breathed out.

“Come to New York.” She said again, this time with more confidence. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, and it felt like the simple question meant so much more. Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure you want me there? Are you sure that you want me too?

Hailey nodded, “Yes. Buy the ticket Jay.” She said, “Be here.” 

“Okay.”

day seven

Jay felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest as he walked to baggage claim. 

The last 12 hours had been quite the whirlwind. He had texted Voight immediately after he hung up with Hailey asking for the next day off. Thankfully he had said yes, and Jay booked the next flight that wasn’t full. It left O’Hare at 12:15 the next day. 

He couldn’t believe what he was doing, flying to New York to see Hailey. It had only been a week and he was buying an overpriced plane ticket? He really did have it bad. 

It wasn’t lost on him how familiar the situation was, losing a partner, a friend, someone he loved to the city, to the FBI even. He knew the feeling well, but his walk through the crowded terminal proved to him just how much things had changed. He never bought a ticket to see Erin, not after a week, not after a month, never. The thought never really even crossed his mind. She was gone and that was that, time to move on. But not with Hailey. 

Hailey was different, the thought moving on, the thought of forgetting her ripped through him like a knife. He wasn’t sure he’d survive without her. And even though it had only been seven days, he was ecstatic to see her. He missed watching her blonde ponytail swing as she walked, he missed her telling him his handwriting sucked, he missed never having any pens, he missed her laugh, her voice, her smile (well that he had seen, but it’s not the same). He missed everything about her. 

His flight landed around three, and he was meeting Hailey at her hotel. She had told the front desk to leave him a key to let himself in, and that she would be there as soon as she could. She couldn’t exactly ask for time off when she had only been there a few days.

Jay had decided on the plan that he was going to tell her how he felt, he owed it to himself to put himself out there again, and he couldn’t pretend that she was just his partner anymore. They both knew that they were more than that. However, when he made that decision, he thought he was going to have hours to decide what he was going to say. Not the 30 seconds it was going to take to walk over to the petite blonde woman holding a sign that read Jay Halstead.

He was taken aback, letting his mouth fall open as he stifled a laugh. She had surprised him. He was barely ten feet away when Hailey abandoned her sign and ran to wrap her arms around him. The closest that had been to each other since he had tackled her down in the surveillance van, almost a year before. “Hi Jay.” She said, her voice loud and clear without the static in between them.

“Hi Hailes.” He said, hugging her tightly to him. Definitely something he could get used to. 

Eventually - and much to his dismay - she took a step back, nervously pushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “How was your flight?” She asked.

“Good, went by fast.” Not true, it was painfully slow, the anticipation was too much. “Thanks for picking me up.” He said. 

“Of course. What are partners for?” She joked, rocking back and forth on her heels. 

Jay laughed, “I don’t think Kim would ever pick me up from the airport.” 

Hailey shrugged, smirking, “I guess it’s a good thing that she’s only your temporary partner then. I’m obviously the better one.” 

“Yeah, you are.” Jay tried not to show his disappointment on his face, but he was really starting to hate the word partner. It was just a constant reminder that that was all he was, her partner. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, he wasn’t someone to daydream about passionate first kisses in airports or running down a terminal to greet someone, but for some reason he thought that now was their moment. Maybe he was wrong. 

Jay watched at Hailey’s face mirroring his own, realizing he was thinking the same thing she was. Won’t he just say it already. But she knew him better than that, she knew that he was too stuck in his own head to ever say what he was really feeling. He could never find the words to describe it, and that had been what was different all week. The 800 miles between them gave him an edge, something to use to keep her at an arm's length but still let her in. He was the most open he had ever been about his feelings with her this past week, and she wasn’t ready for that to be over. She never wanted it to stop. 

So, she did the only thing she could. “Jay,” She said quietly, taking a step forward. “You have to know that it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you as just my partner.” 

It took him a moment to process what she said, but once he did, he swept down and pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips to hers. Her hand cupped his neck as he gently held her up, a hand snaking around her waist. There they were, having a passionate first kiss in the middle of baggage claim, no doubt scandalizing everyone around them, but they didn’t care. All that mattered was each other. 

Hailey pulled away breathless, resting her forehead against his. “I missed you so much.” She said quietly, wiping the stray tear that had fallen off her cheek. She was feeling a little overwhelmed by her emotions. 

Jay smiled, leaning down to kiss her once again. “I missed you too, so much.” He pecked her cheek, making her smile. “I never want to miss you like that again, especially now.” She eyed her suggestively.

Hailey laughed against his chest, “Just a few more weeks.”

“It’s not fair,” He said quietly, running his thumb over her cheek, “That I have to leave tomorrow, after this.” 

“Well,” Hailey said, intertwining their hands, “That's tomorrow's problem.” 

“I like the way you think.” He said.

Hailey reached up, kissing him gently, “Then let’s get out of here.” 

The two of them walked out of JFK hand in hand, hailing a taxi and climbing in together. The action was foreign, and so was the city, it wasn’t what either of them wanted. But being there together, even if it was just for a day, it felt like home. 

…

A/N: Oh My Gosh I have been working on this fic for SO LONG and I am so so so happy to have finally finished it. If you haven’t guessed, my new series will be writing Upstead (and possibly other OC couples) as T'S songs because some of them for SO FREAKING WELL! Come back...be here is a bonus track off of red that I found a few weeks after 8x03 aired, and this fic has been a WIP since then, you don’t understand how excited I am to write these! Thank you SO MUCH for reading! Hope you enjoyed <3

taglist: @anniesardors @joy-meathiel @stephanie708 @carissalizz @snowwhite013 @imjustwritingg @benharmonsupremacy @angelsjedi @onechicago-upsteadrhekker

[tetsurouskuro]

Sweet Temptations

pairing: kuroo tetsurou x fem!reader

warnings: alcohol, swearing, violence, mentions of drugs, dom!kuroo, mafia!au haikyuu, smut, sexual tension, orgasm denial, spitting, spanking (with a belt and hand), hair pulling and other stuff i may have forgotten

word count: 9,654

tag list: @iwaqchan @myherowritings (message me if you want to be added)

a/n: forgive me father for i have sinned!! ok, so i saw THIS! picture of kuroo and all i could think about was “i need to write a mafia!au with kuroo” and here i am and oh god i hope it’s good because it sounded so good in my head and to put everything down to words is on another level!! in this story all of the characters (and you) are a bit older, around 25-ish! also, a big thank you to Sof aka @myherowritings for helping me through with this and listening to my ranting and stuff... anyways... feedback is always appreciated and i hope you guys enjoy it! <3

Synopsis: Kuroo is the grandson of Nekomata Yasufumi, from the Nekoma mafia clan. You’re the granddaughter of Ukai Ikkei, from the Karasuno mafia clan. A arranged marriage between the two of you would mean that two big mafia clans would be able to work together and get even bigger and cover more ground in Japan, but there’s only one thing stopping this from happening... Kuroo and you...

MASTERLIST!

≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪

Scotch whiskey in his hand, two ice cubes in the glass he twirled it around with his wrist while his other hand was pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes shut tightly as he tried to listen to Kenma, his righthand man talk about the current sales going around and how the next shipping was going for the states. Kuroo had one hell of a headache, and not because of the alcohol, no. He was anxious about meeting his boss, his grandfather; Nekomata Yasufumi.

“Kuroo, are you even listening to me?” Kenma sighed at his boss and best friend.

“No.” He answered bluntly, but truthfully. Not looking at the man in front of him.

“What's the matter? We need to get the shipping out soon and there's still a lot of people who haven't paid up our dealers.”

Kuroo opened his eyes, looked at Kenma as he drowned the scotch, the whiskey burning his throat, making his abdomen warm from the liquor. Taking a deep breath, he spoke calmly to Kenma.

“Don't worry about me and send Lev to the dealers. You can always trust a Russian around these kinds of things.” Kuroo stood up from his seat behind the big mahogany desk and walked around it to stand in front of his friend, placing his left hand on Kenma's left shoulder. “Fix it. I have some matters to take care of.”

“Of course, boss.”

≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪

Knocking on the big wooden door, he heard his grandfather speak, giving him the go to come in. Opening the door, Kuroo walked in, his legs carrying him inside with confident steps. The room was beautifully decorated. On the left wall was a built-in bookshelf. Books recorded back to the early 1700-century. To the right was a wine-red leather sofa, in front of it a rectangular coffee table. In the far corner of the room was a 1600-century Italian old-world globe bar. It stood open and two glasses were missing.

Looking in front of him, his grandfather was sitting behind a similar mahogany desk that he had in his office. Two chairs stood in front of the desk. Walking over Kuroo unbuttoned his suit jacket and took a seat in one of them, sighing in the process. Nekomata watching his only grandson, he could tell that the young man in front of him was stiff.

“Relax, son. What are you so worried about?”

“Ojii-chan,” was all Kuroo spoke. Nekomata placed a tumbler in front of him and Kuroo, each glass was half full.

“I didn't call you to talk business son. I wanted to talk to you about the Ukai's.” This made Kuroo perch up.

“Oh?”

“You know that you're marrying Ukai Ikkei's granddaughter in a couple of weeks, right?”

“Yeah, I know. It's an agreement our parents made before they died.” Both yours and Kuroo's parents had died when both of you were 5 years old, him being 7. Both Nekomata and Ukai did not want their grandchildren to be put in any foster home, so they took you in.

“Correct.” Nekomata pushed one of the half full glasses to Kuroo and both men brought them up to their lips, taking a sip. Kuroo started to think about his fiancée. Did she like whiskey or brandy? Truth to be told, he did not care. It also showed how little he knew about his soon-to-be wife. He did not know anything significant about her, other than her name and birthday. Everything else, Ukai Ikkei had kept buried. There were no pictures of you anywhere. No social media accounts or driver license. Nothing. You were like a ghost to him. If he did not know any better, he would've thought you didn't exist.

But it made sense, though. Kuroo would have done the same if he had a daughter. Family was everything. It was one thing his grandfather had drilled into his and the other members heads since they were children.

“There has been some change of plans. She's on her way here now.”

“What?”

“You heard. Ukai and I talked and come to the agreement that she should come here now and the two of you should get to know each other.” Kuroo didn't want to get married. He didn't want to marry you. He wanted to have the freedom of not being tied down to one woman.

But he also wanted to honor his family. Mostly his grandfather. Nekomata Yasufumi had done everything he could for Kuroo. At the age of 5, he had learned the truth about what his family was doing. At the age of six, he had learned how to fire of a gun, being skilled already at that young age. But most importantly, he had learned that blood is thicker than water. Family was everything. Absolute.

“You need to stop fucking that whore you bring around so much,” this made Kuroo smirk. Natasha, the whore Nekomata was talking about was the girl Kuroo had by his bed to pleasure him. She wasn't good looking, or smart for that matter, but that wasn't why Kuroo kept her. She had a good throat and a nice cunt.

“I'll get rid of her. I know what our agreement says.”

“Infidelity. Keep that snake in your pants.” Kuroo laughed at his grandfather.

“If I have to throw a paper bag over her while I fuck her, then I'll do it, Ojii-chan.”

“End it, now.” Kuroo stands up and throws back the rest of his whiskey.

“I will. When is she here?”

“They're already on the road, so approximately three hours. Don't be late.”

“I won't.” Kuroo stands up and is just about to leave when Nekomata hands him a big file.

“Read it. Yamamoto broke through their firewall and got a hold of their records.” Kuroo smirks at his grandfather and exits the room. The day couldn't get any better now.

≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪

“Yuu, what are you doing?”

“Huh? Oh! I'm playing a game.”

“Now? You're supposed to read the map!”

“Well, last time I checked it was still 5 miles left until the next exit!”

“Guys. Please I'm trying to read back here...”

“Sorry boss!”

Sighing at the two men in the front seat, you skimmed through the files that your grandfather had handed you (he and his goddamn files). There it was all the information about your future husband and the rest of his family.

“I can't believe Nekoma almost tripled their profits in less than a year,” you spoke loudly. Not really expecting one of the two men in the front seat to answer.

“They've also somehow gotten their drugs into Nohebi territories. Mexico, Russia, and the damn States. They have networks going through most of East Asia, those city boys.” Tanaka states and you laugh at his nickname for the Nekoma.

“Soon it'll be yours too, boss,” Nishinoya turns around in his seat to look at you and gives you reassuring smile.

“That's if he accepts the last-minute change in the contract,” you answer him back.

“You mean, where you demand to be kept informed and in agreement with his future decisions involving the business?” Tanaka laughs. “It'll be interesting to see his reaction.”

“It will be indeed. I allowed them to hack into our records also earlier today.” The men laugh at that. Not because it's funny, no. They laugh because Nekoma thought they had you now. Or so they thought.

≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪

“I'm telling you boss, they won't dare step another foot in our territory again,” Lev spoke as he took a sip of his can of soda.

“Good. Anything else? I need to get going soon. Kenma you're in charge while I'm gone.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Lev asked while Kenma just nodded as he read through some information Yamamoto had sent him earlier on his phone, his eyes never leaving the screen.

“Family business. If the Nohebi try anything else, you know what to do. No need to hold back.” Kuroo spoke with an even voice as he pulled on his suit jacket.

“By the way, boss. Are you friend with the Fukurodani boss?” Yaku spoke from his spot on the leather sofa.

“Yeah. Grew up with him. Why?” Kuroo quirked an eyebrow at the short savage.

“There's a file he sent us.”

“I'll read through it later,” Kuroo said and walked towards the door and said goodbye to the group that had formed in the basement of the hidden base. He walked to the underground garage and unlocked his jet-black Audi R8, taking a seat and speeding to the exit. Once he had turned and driven for 5 minutes, there was an incoming call, he simply connecter it to the car Bluetooth.

“Ojii-chan, I'm on my way.”

“Hurry. They're already here.”

“I figured. I'm 15 minutes away.” Hanging up, Kuroo let out a big sigh. He was not looking forward to this meeting. He wasn't looking forward to meeting you. He didn't want a wife. Yet, he wanted to know what you looked like. He was a little intrigued. He was about to spend the rest of his life with you.

Pulling up to the private road that led to the Nekoma mansion he parked the car next to a big SUV and got out. Walking towards the stairway that led him inside, he opened the door and walked in, announcing his arrival. He could hear chatter and he followed the sound of the voices, leading him into the dining room. Walking in he is met with his grandfather, a tall muscular man with a buzzcut, a short but also muscular man. The shortest had black hair, ruffled upwards. A tiny tuft of his hair falls over his forehead and is bleached dirty blond. Both men looked dangerous and he knew they were your bodyguards.

His eyes then travel to find yours and his breath hitches. You were the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on. From where he stood, he could tell you were perfection. From your wavy, (y/h/c) hair, flawless skin, and deep (y/e/c) eyes, to your perfect hourglass figure. The knee-length black dress hugged each and every one of your curves. But your ass – fuck. It was like your lips were demanded to be kissed, and Kuroo's cock demanded to have his way with you right then and there.

“It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I'm Kuroo Tetsurou,” Kuroo's eyes never leaving you. As if it only were the two of you there.

“Pleasure's all mine. You're taller than I expected.” You laugh. “I'm (y/n) (y/l/n).”

“6'2 to be exact, but who's counting.”

“Tanaka. Nishinoya. Could you leave us alone so we can go over the contract?”

“Ojii-chan?”

“Gentlemen, if you would follow me,” Nekomata speaks and Kuroo watches as the men exit the dining room, watching their backs disappear. Turning his head, he sees that you are watching him. His eyes are cold, his hazel orbs looking into yours. His facial expression is narrow, you can't read this man at all. You just stand there, watch this beautiful man in front of you and wonder what type of person he is. Is he brutal as the words are said about him back in the Miyagi prefecture?

Kuroo turns around and walks to the bar and pours himself a drink. Without turning to look at you he asks, “Would you like a drink?”

“No, thank you.” You answer him back, moving your legs to the windows. Watching and taking in the scenery. Soon this would be your new home, and behind you stood your future husband. Your fiancée, who you didn't know anything about and that was scary for you. It was one thing dealing with weapons and drugs, those were materials that you could handle and knew HOW to handle. This, Kuroo Tetsurou, was different. He had a brain, heart and soul for himself.

“How much are you involved in the business?” Kuroo speaks, turning around you see that he has taken a seat by the bar. Scanning him up and down, the black three-piece Giorgio Armani suit sits tightly around his thick thighs, arms and shoulders. The white button-down shirt is tight against his chest and abdomen, and the dark red tie is completing the look, making him look edible. He is leaning back in his seat; his elbows are bracing his weight as he slowly sips his liquor and watches you as he does it. Your panties are suddenly very, very damp but you would not let him see you this effected by just his looks. Composing yourself you answer his question.

“I oversee the weapons and drugs that come in and out of all of Miyagi. I am also in charge of selling the weapons to potential businesses, but also to send out threats and deal with any problem that may occur. It's also I who holds the annual gala and fundraising events that occur here in Tokyo for my grandfather’s business.”

“Wow. Impressive. For a woman.”

“Excuse me?”

“But you don't go out and handle clients?” Kuroo ignores your little outburst and questions you further.

“Oh. I do that too, Kuroo.”

“Interesting,” his glass is empty, and he sets it down on the bar, stands up and walks over to you. Even with your 5” heels he's still towering over your small frame. “Shall we sign the papers?”

“Have you read through the contract?”

“I've read it so many times I've memorized it now. Just sign the contract.”

“I've made some changes. You should re-read it.” Walking towards the table where the paper was lying, he picked it up and scanned the two lines that had been changed.

“You're kidding,” he snickered. “You're asking to basically babysit how I run my business?”

“Ah-ah. We are not married yet. It will be ours or there's no deal, so Kuroo Tetsurou, sign the paper and rule over both the Karasuno and Nekoma or leave it and there's no deal.” Stunned. His facial expression turns to pure hatred. To think that you were a witch. He was angered, his cock was hard, and he wanted to fuck some sense into you on the dining table.

Picking up the pen, he signed his signature next to yours. Kuroo agreed because of the honor he has for his family and wanted to please his grandfather. Yes, he would have liked you to be a wife that stayed at home, who cooked and cleaned. A wife he could fuck whenever he felt like it. But the mere thought of having you with him. Killing people together and seeing a ruthless side of you made his cock twitch in excitement.

“If you for a second think I'm gonna listen to you. You're wrong. You think you got power, but so do I so all I'm gonna say is game on, Kuroo Tetsurou.”

In mere seconds Kuroo had grabbed you, pushing you against the nearest wall. One hand bracing both of your wrists above your head and his other holding you by the throat – hard enough so you would not escape, but not hard enough so he's choking you.

“First, your joke?” he spoke, panting in your face like some lion who's about to jump his prey. “Not funny.”

“Second,” slowly lifting his hand around your throat so he's holding your cheeks now. His thumb brushed over your lips. “The very moment that ink touched that fucking paper, you were mine. Mine to fuck. Mine to fucking command, and mine to put in your fucking place.”

“And third,” he crashes his lips to yours brutally. Your body loving the sensation, but your brain screaming for you to stop him. He pulls away and continues talking. “You're gonna stop this macho behavior, sit at my side and you stay beautiful, like a lady.”

He crashes his lips against your again – sealing this deal with a kiss. Again, he pulls away and you stared at him wide-eyed. “Are you finished?”

“Not quite. I don't think I'll ever be finished with you, (y/n).” Pulling your head back and smashing it against his so he tumbles back, you gently massage your wrists at the friction, also hating the feeling of missing his body against yours.

“Touch me again and kiss me again without my permission and I'll put a bullet between your eyes when you sleep, got it?”

“Don't boss me around and throw some empty threats at me, kitten. I'll be the one who rules when we're married. You'll obey me and listen to me, got it?”

He leaves the room, slamming the door after him as he leaves. Seconds later Tanaka and Nishinoya rushes in. “What happened?”

“Nothing. I'm fine.” If Kuroo, for one second thought he had won, he was wrong. You were just getting started.

≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪

A week later you had moved your things from Miyagi all the way to Tokyo, your new home. And of course, you'd moved in into the Nekoma mansion. You had gotten your own room, which you were thankful for.

When you arrived at the mansion after all the moving staff had fixed everything around for you, you didn't expect Kuroo to be waiting for you, in your room and asking how your trip went.

“Good. I thought you only cared about your company?” Closing the door and crossing your arms over your chest you watched as he stood straight, walking with confident towards you.

“I'm not that much of an asshole.”

“You kind of are though.”

“Watch it, or I might lock you up in the basement.” The man was in front of you now, his tall frame confident and a smirk on his face. You wanted to punch it away.

“Is that how you cats treat your woman?”

“No. It's how I treat my woman when she doesn't listen to me.” This sent shivers down your spine and left your panties damp. This ruthless behavior that he had was getting dangerous. It was making your head spin, almost like you were losing consciousness.

“What makes you think I won't be able to get out?”

“Oh, I know you'll be able to get out, kitten. I just don't think you'd appreciate the outcome of it.”

“What do you know? Maybe I like getting spanked and tortured in your chambers,” just as those words left your lips his face is in front of yours.

“Is that something you want to happen?” You looked into his hazel eyes and gulped. “Because I can make it happen kitten. Just say the word.”

“Brush that smirk off of your face before I punch you in the face,” you pull him away, but the man barely moves. Just as he's about to say something there's a knock on the door. The door opens and a tall man with light grey hair walks in.

“Excuse me boss, but they're waiting for you in the basement.”

“Thanks Lev, I'll be right there.”

“Wait, what's going on?” You watched as the man, Lev, leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

“Nothing for you to worry about, kitten. I'll see you tonight,” he leaves a sweet kiss on your cheek as he straightens up, turns around and heads to the door.

“Tonight?”

“Yeah, tonight. Dinner. You and me. 6PM. Don't be late.” He opens and exits the door, without uttering another word. Leaving you standing in the middle of your room, staring at the door and wondering what just happened. You were irritated, but also hot and bothered. How was tonight gonna end?

≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪

Walking down the stone staircase that would lead you to the patio where Kuroo was waiting for you in high heels was a challenge, but you were no woman that takes them off. You accepted every challenge that came your way.

You decided to wear a off-shoulder floor length black dress with a side slit. Your hair pulled into a tight ponytail and some nude smokey eye makeup, making you look like the boss that you were.

When you reached the patio, Kuroo was sitting by the far end of the table and waiting. His eyes locked on the phone as he kept typing something. The sound of a chair being pulled back made him look up and lock eyes with you. He could feel his cock twitch in his pants at the sight of you.

A young girl, probably working for Kuroo had pulled out the chair for you. You took him in as you sat yourself down. Dress shoes (probably), black pants, a black button-down shirt, the first button undone and a suit jacket. If you thought you were hot and bothered before, your panties said a completely different story now as they were drenched.

“You look beautiful, kitten.”

“Thanks. You look rather dashing yourself, Kuroo.” He smirked at you and lifted two fingers, signaling for the girl to leave you two alone. Once she leaves, Kuroo takes a sip from his glass, his eyes gazing into yours.

“So, Kuroo. Are you gonna tell me where you went earlier?”

“It's nothing for you to worry about. I handled it.”

“It doesn't matter. If we're gonna get married and rule this 'empire' together you need to meet me halfway.”

“I don't have to do a thing. I tell you what I want to tell you and if I want to tell you.” Standing up, he walks towards the other end of the table where you're sat and stops at your side, slowly lowering his head so his lips are brushing against your ear. “And one of these days, you won't be able to say no to me. I'll fuck you so hard that you want me to stop.”

Gulping, squeezing your thighs together and the way his voice and words were making your body shiver of excitement, but also wanting to punch him for thinking he had some kind of mastership of you. Taking a deep breath, you collected yourself to answer him.

“I want in on this too. If someone is messing up with my business, or my stuff I want that sucker to feel pain because no one fucks with me; not even you. So, you're gonna start treating my like your wife and business partner or I'll find that marriage agreement and rip it apart.”

“And what would happen if I don't agree with you?” His breath hits your neck as you can feel his breathing beside you. His lips come down on your neck and you close your eyes for a brief second, loving the sensation, but opening them fast as you can't let him have his way. Not yet anyway. You need to stand your ground and show him that you're just as stubborn as he is.

“If you don't agree. I'll break off this fucking arrangement and then burn you to the ground.” Turning your head to look at him, you see him smile at you. His face mere inches from yours.

“One of Nohebi's men were caught trying to steal some of my cocaine and Lev, the man you saw earlier, caught him and tied him up in the basement. I beat him to the pulp, cut off two of his fingers and then sent him to his boss, with a sweet message.”

“And I couldn't be there because?”

“Because this was my shit to handle and I had something else I wanted to do before I did that.”

“Which was?”

“Gimmie your hand,” reaching out your left hand for him, he pulls on a big fat juicy diamond engagement on your ring finger.

“Buying that. I'm not liking this with letting you in on my business, 'kay? This is all new to me, but I will slowly let you in. Not entirely, but eventually everything that's mine... will be yours. Ours.”

“Kuroo, I-”

“But listen to me carefully. Now that you have that ring it means that you are mine. All mine. You will listen to me and do as I say. When I want to fuck you, you will let me. If you do as I say, I will reward you and... I will also give you what you want. In return.”

He pulls away from you and you watch as he turns around and walks back to his seat.

“Now, (y/n). Are you hungry? 'Cause I am starving.”

≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪

“I'm going to New York tomorrow to do some business with a friend of mine. I'll be back on Friday.”

“I can't come with you?”

“No. Not this time.”

Sighing at him you nod your head. You accept; for now. “Okay.”

You feel him push your back against the door to your room, both of your hands behind your back, him holding them in place as his lips are just inches from yours. “Good girl. Finally, you listen to me. Why you gotta be so disobedient?”

“'Cause life would be boring for you if I wasn't,” you manage to squeeze those words, just in time for his lips to crash against yours. Your head tilted back as you welcome his tongue into your mouth. Tasting both the liquor and food from him. His body comes closer and you can feel his rock-hard cock press against your lower abdomen.

“I am the only one who gets to touch you and make you come, you got that?” You just nodded your head.

Good. Now you should get some sleep. I'll see you when I get back.” And just like that, he leaves you, leaving one last kiss on your lips. Not wanting to seem totally desperate for him, you open the door to your room, walk in and close it, leaning your back against it. Feeling your own arousal, you decide to do something about it. Walking towards your bedside table, you open your drawer and pull out your purple dildo and climb onto the bed.

If you can't have Kuroo's cock now, at least you could imagine it was him fucking you instead of that dildo of yours.

≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪

The next morning you get woken up by the birds chirping outside your bedroom window. The sun shines through the curtains and hits you in the face, making you scrunch your face in disgust; you were not a morning person.

Stretching yourself on the big king-size bed you hear some strange sound and look to your left, seeing a white-yellowish envelope. Sitting up, you reach for it and open it, pulling out a paper, a handwritten note and start reading.

Good morning kitten, the fact that you touched yourself yesterday without my permission has my blood boiling. I told you that only I am allowed to touch you and make you come.

So, for being so disobedient, I've taken all of your toys and burned them all up. No need for you to have them when you have me, right?

Be a good girl and listen to your fiancé, if you want to come just call me and I'll fix it for you.

If I find out that you've been touching yourself without my permission again, I'll punish you when I get back. I've got eyes and ears everywhere.

I'll see you on Friday, kitten.

That fucking bastard.

You scrunched the piece of paper and threw it on the ground. Throwing yourself off the bed and pulling on your nightgown you are just about to head to the nearest staff member when your phone rings, knowing full well who it was.

“What do you want?” You answer angrily.

“I take it you've read my letter?”

“Oh, I've read it and I'm just about to burn it.”

“Ouch, kitten. My first love letter for you and you're already breaking my heart,” you could hear his smirking on the line and wanted to punch his pretty face.

“If this is breaking your heart, then you're easily pleased.”

“Oh, kitten. I am no-where pleased. I'll be pleased when I got you on my bed and my cock deep inside that cunt of yours,” you shivered at his words and could feel a tingling sensation in your lower abdomen, knowing full well what he was doing to you. He was gonna be gone for 5 days, meaning he had 5 days to tease you and if he continued like this then these 5 days were gonna be hell, especially if you could not touch yourself.

“You'll have to wait a long while for that to happen, Tetsurou.”

“The way you say my name kitten, next time you'll be screaming it,” a little laugh escapes his lips. “I need to go, just arrived at the jet. Don't miss me too much, when I get back, I'll have my way with you.”

He hangs up and you throw yourself on the bed. If you thought you could deny him much longer, you were dead wrong. You wanted him yesterday. You wanted him today; you wanted him now.

A knock on the door woke you up from your Kuroo thoughts. “Come in.”

The door opened and in walked one of your closest friends.

“Oh my god Daichi,” you jumped out of bed and into his arms. “What are you doing here?”

“Is that how you greet everyone? Just kidding. The old man sent me here to keep an eye on you.”

“Keep an eye on me? Why?”

“To make sure that the wedding happens. We all know how you've treated your other boyfriends.”

“I'm not gonna kill this one, okay?”

“I believe it when I see it,” Daichi laughs and you pout at him. “How's he? Kuroo?”

“Ugh, he's a sexist. A possessive and dominant bastard that looks down on woman.”

“But? I feel like a but is coming.”

“BUT... he's a sexy motherfucker that is teasing me and giving me all of these sexual desires that I haven't felt before and I've never wanted to fuck and kill someone as fast and hard as with him.”

“Seems like you've got it under control then?”

“Yeah. He's on his way to New York and will be back on Friday.”

“And when he gets back? What are you gonna do?”

“Nothing. Or maybe. No, I don't know. These emotions and feelings that are erupting from me is something new. I want him, all the love and hate. But I'm also scared because opening up to someone is dangerous in our business.”

“Oh, I know darling, but he's in this business as well and he's worse than you. I've met Kuroo before with the old man and when he loved and cares for something, he puts all of his heart into it. So, if something were to happen to you, he'd be sure to put a bullet on that bastard.”

“He thinks I'm his property, like I'm not a human being.”

“(y/n), we're the mafia and we protect our own and soon you'll be each other’s. He's gonna be your husband soon. Accept it.”

“What am I gonna do then? When he gets back?”

“You'll have to wait and see.”

≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪

It had gone two days since you last saw and spoke to Kuroo. You thought of him all the time. You even started to wear a elastic band around your wrist and snapped it every time you thought of him, but you had started to turn red because you were basically snapping your wrist all the time so you gave that up pretty quickly.

Now, you stood in front of your ensuite, brushing your hair and getting ready for bed. It was 1 am in Tokyo. 12 pm in New York. You didn't want to call him. Calling him meant that you thought about him, which you did but, it was different.

The sound of your phone vibrating against the marble counter made you jump as your thoughts had wandered to him once again.

“Hello?”

“Kitten. Why aren't you sleeping?”

“I was just getting ready for bed, but a very disturbing person called me, and I wanted to see what he wanted.”

“Sounds like an interesting man to me.”

“I'm sure he does... what do you want?”

“There should be a package coming for you about... now.” A knock on your bedroom door could be heard and you walked out of the ensuite and opened the door. There on the ground was a white package with a black ribbon around it.

“What's this?”

“Open it.”

“I will. But what is it?”

“Open it. You'll see, kitten.” Rolling your eyes, you closed the door behind you and placed Kuroo on speaker and threw the phone on your bed, the white package beside him. Pulling on the black string, the ribbon came undone and you lifted the lid and gasped.

“Kuroo... this is...”

“Put them on.”

“What? No!”

“Do. It.”

“Kuroo...”

“(y/n)... do as I say.”

You sighed and finally gave in. You pulled your panties down your legs and then put on the new ones. Kuroo had someone deliver a pair of vibrating panties. “Now what?”

“Now. Lay down on the bed. Put me on speaker and then place the phone beside.” You climbed onto the bed and did as he said.

“Done.”

“Good. Now kitten, tell me about your day.”

“My day? I went with Tanaka, Nishinoya and Dai- OH GOD!” Suddenly the panties started to vibrate.

“Hm? What was that?” The vibrating stopped and you gasped. That little fucker.

“I said. I went with Tanaka, Nishinoya and Daichi to the mall and bought some-fuck, Jesus, shit... s-some dresses.” The vibrating started again. The sensation hitting your clit perfectly, making your hips buck at the feeling. But also, wishing it was his fingers instead of some material rubbing against your sensitive bud.

“Some dresses huh? What kind of dresses?”

“Pretty ones.” You answered bluntly. You didn't want to talk. You just wanted to feel. And come.

“Kitten...” Kuroo's voice sounded dark and the vibrations stopped once again. You instantly missed the feeling. “Behave.”

“They're all different. Long, mid-thigh, short and so on. You'll see them when you get back.”

“Oh, will I?” Kuroo started the vibrations again, but this time he had increased the speed, making you moan out.

“Fuck.”

“Does it feel good, kitten. Do you want more?”

“Fuck, yes,” you answered him with a moan. Your hands fisting the duvet cover, eyes closed, mouth open and your head thrown back. Your back slightly bent and your knees pulled up. You weren't near close but as for having been horny for at least a week now, you just wanted to come. The release you got on the night before he decided to burn all your sex toys hadn't satisfied you enough.

“What do you want, kitten? Tell me.”

“Fuck, I want you. I want your cock.”

“Oh? Really?”

“Yes, really. You dumb fuck. Oh god, Kuroo.” He increased the speed once more and now you felt how your lower abdomen was tightening. “So close.”

“Good kitten. Now you've made me a very happy man. You wanna come?”

“Fuck, yes. Let me fucking come already.” The pressure started to keep getting stronger and stronger.

“I don't think so, kitten.” He turns it off. The pressure in your lower abdomen slowly started to fade but you still wanted to come. You didn't give a fuck anymore.

“What the fuck, Kuroo?”

“I'm the one who decides when and how you come. Don't forget that.”

“I'm not taking orders from you. Stupid sexist of a man. If you're not gonna finish it for me, I'll do it myself.”

“(y/n). Don't. You. Dare.”

“Or what? Are you gonna punish me? When? You're not here. I'll finish myself off without you.” Grabbing your phone, you clicked him. Putting an end to the call.

He had the audacity to boss you around, to think he could decide for you. No. You weren't going to listen to him. You pulled off the panties he gave you and stomped to the bathroom and threw them in the trash-can.

Stomping back to the bed, you pulled away the duvet cover and climbed into bed. Looking at your phone you saw a text message from him, and a picture.

Opening the message, you bit your lower lip, seeing what he sent you.

On the picture was Kuroo. He was stood in front of a mirror in just his briefs. Grabbing his cock through the briefs, seeing as it was hard underneath the material. Just from the picture you could tell that he was big, and that made your mouth water.

Underneath the picture was his message.

I'm so hard for you kitten.

I'M WET FOR YOU. You wanted to reply but didn't. You were still pissed off and you wouldn't let him get away easily. You had a plan how to get back at him. Alas, he was gonna kill you for it.

≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪

It was finally Friday. You had put on one of the new dressed that you'd bought. It was a short golden cocktail dress with a bare back. Your hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail. A pair of high heels and a makeup look that suited the outfit made you look fuckable.

You had asked Kiyoko and Hitoka to go clubbing with you, which they didn't say no to.

Also, you knew Kuroo would be home late and when he would find out you were out clubbing and other men being able to see you looking like that, he was going to murder either you, the men, or both.

Besides having the two girls with you, you also had Daichi and Tanaka at your side as bodyguards. One thing your grandfather always told you was to always bring them with you whenever you could. Walking up to the club, the bouncers didn't ask for your name, they just moved aside and let you and your company inside. You could feel the ground shaking from the loud music that was blasting from the speakers. It was crowded, as expected for a Friday night. "Be careful boss," Tanaka spoke to you and you smiled at him.

"I will. I'll kill anyone who tries to lay a hand on me." "We know. But be careful," Daichi spoke next. "(Y/n)? Let's go dance," Kiyoko said and interrupted the conversation between the three of you, grabbed yours and Hitoka's hand and pulled the both of you into the dancefloor. The three of you stood in the middle of the dancefloor and moved your bodies to the music. After about 20 minutes it was time for some drinking. Hitoka went to look for an empty table while Kiyoko went to fetch some drinks. Just as you were about to join Hitoka you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning around you see a tall man, well-built and quite good looking. But he wasn't Kuroo. "Hi, I promised myself that if you were ever to be alone, I'd come and say hello cause you might be one of the prettiest woman I've ever laid eyes on." "Thank you, that's very... sweet. Of. You." Your voice trailed off as behind the man you could see a face you hadn't seen in a while and that face was staring at yours. Kuroo stood by the exit door, both arms by his side and both of his fists clammed together tight. He was angry. He was fuming. He was seeing red. And, to make matters ever worse. You grabbed the stranger by his neck, pulled him down so you could say into his ear "let's dance". Grabbing the strangers hand you pull him farther into the dancefloor, farther away from Kuroo and on queue the song "Love Sex Magic" by Ciara and Justin Timberlake starts playing and you decide to start dancing sexually with the man. Your ass is rubbing teasingly at the stranger’s crotch as his hands are placed on your hips. But they leave you soon and you know why, because soon the stranger is being pulled away from you and you're being dragged across the dancefloor and to the exit. The cold air hits your body as Kuroo is still dragging you until you reach his car. He opens the passenger seats door. "Get in." "I think not. I'm here with my friends and I wanna party, so thanks but no thanks." "(Y/n). Get. In. The. Fucking. Car. NOW!" You decide to listen because; a) he's really pissed and b) your plan had worked out wonderfully. Taking a seat, you buckle up as Kuroo slams the door shut and walks around to sit in the driver’s seat. Kuroo quickly starts the car and speeds away. He drives in silence. The both of you are keeping your mouths shut and it's for the better. "Kuroo, I-" "Shut up. Keep quiet. Don't fucking talk to me right now," he interrupts you. His knuckles turning white from the hard grip he's having on the steering wheel.

You sat quiet in your seat, looking out as you passed the city. The city lights shining on the road. But it was when Kuroo drove into a underground garage that had you stiff in your seat. Where was he taking you? He parked the car and got out quickly. He walked around to your side and opened the car door for you. "Out." You placed both of your feet on the ground and got up, doing it seductively, almost flashing your panties to him. Once you were stable enough on the ground, he grabbed you hand, hard, and pulled you away with him. He was walking fast, a little too fast for your liking. "Kuroo, slow down I can't walk that fast in these heels." "Oh, I'm sorry," you feel yourself being pushed against the cement wall of the garage, his hand around your throat. "Maybe you should've thought about that before you decided to dress up as a whore and go acting like one in one of my clubs." Even though you should be scared, you're not. You're wet by this action of his. The grip around your throat isn't hard, just firm. Like he's holding you in place. You're breathing heavily, your chest moving up and down. Your hard nipples are pressing against the fabric of your dress. "Your club?" Are the words that escape your lips. "Yes. My club. Do you know the frustration I got when I land and get a phone call from my staff there telling me that my fiancée just walked in wearing nothing but a garment around her," his free hand travel from inside your thighs to your core where you want him to touch you. "Would've you have liked anyone else touching you here, is that it?" His fingers teasing you outside of your panties. "Did you want that man touching you, is that it kitten? Or were you thinking that his hands were mine?" Now his fingers flick slightly at your sensitive bud outside of your panties. "N-No," you moan out. "No?" He withdraws from you and starts walking towards the entrance of the building, his hand in yours. You reach a small elevator, inside there's a keypad, he presses some numbers and the doors starts closing. There's tension in the air that could be cut with a knife. You release his hand and cross your arms over your chest and keep looking at him, taking him in. The suit he's wearing looks so good on him. Your eyes travel down to his crotch. You can see the outline of his hard cock.

"Are you just gonna stand there and watch?" The elevator starts to move up, the numbers getting higher in the small screen both above the doors and on the keypads. You still haven't answered him. You still keep looking at his crotch seductively. Kuroo starts moving towards you. You stand still and watch his feet get closer until they're in front of you. "Do you wanna touch it?" You slowly move your head upwards and look into his eyes. They're very intense and hard. Dark even. If looks could kill... Placing your hands on his hips you move them upwards to his chest, feeling his warm and hard muscles underneath, still not breaking eye contact. You slowly back away, being free from him for a second before he pulls you towards him; chest against chest. "Kitten... when your entire life is based on taking everything by force, it's hard to react in a different way. Especially if someone is taking away a pleasure you really desire..." His breath hits you in the face. "Don't provoke me." "Or what?" He presses you hard against the elevator mirror. Both of your hands above your head, his hand holding them in place while his other hand is grabbing your ass cheek. His tongue is invading yours and you welcome it, letting his tongue dance with yours. Tasting whiskey and mint from him. Suddenly the elevator car stops and the pulls away and sets you free, but only to grab your hand and pull you inside an apartment and slam you onto the wall beside the elevator. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard you won't be able to feel your legs for days." "K-Kuroo," you moan out as he starts kissing your throat. "When I fuck you, I want you to call me by my name." His words send shivers down your spine, making your nipples perk harder than before. Kuroo's hands grabs the hem of your dress and rips it apart and throws it behind him, the golden garment landing on the floor. "Kuroo, what the actual fuck?" "I'll buy you a new one," his lips travel to your naked breasts and he starts sucking on your right nipple, making you moan out and throw your head back against the wall. Suddenly he has you in the air and you wrap your legs around his waist, his arms holding you in place and his mouth back on yours as he walks you towards the living room and then into a kitchen. One of his arms lets you go and he throws something, or some things off the kitchen island, the sound of glass breaking on the floor. "I'll have someone clean that up later," he places you on the island and pushes your chest down so you're lying with your back against it. His arms grab your hips and pulls them towards him, your ass being on the edge of the island. "Now... What should we do with you?" He asks with a smirk on his face, his gaze being planted on your pelvis and going down. His fingers trace the edge of your panties, teasing you. Suddenly there's a a sharp dig in your hips and the sound of your panties being torn apart. "You won't be needing them anyway," his lips starts kissing around your areola. "Stop teasing me and just fuck me already," you moan out. Grabbing a hold of his messy hair in your hands. "You don't deserve being fucked just yet," he answers and grabs your thighs and starts kissing down your abdomen and to your core.

His tongue flick at your sensitive bud, making you jump from the friction; both good and bad. Usually, you didn't let men go down on you, you saw it as a type of weakness. A weakness you didn't want and liked showing. But now, here you were spread out naked on a kitchen island while Kuroo sucked on your clit making you shiver, moan and pull on his hair and wanting more. More than you've ever wanted before in your life. Losing control, a control you wanted back but also didn't. "F-Fuck. Kuroo. I- Stop. Shit," you sounded like a confused mess. A mess that Kuroo loved, but he wanted you messier. "Stop? Why? Because you can't control your own body? Oh, kitten... you lost control over your body the minute you became mine." Kuroo's tongue licks up and down your slit, spreading your juices all over. Tasting every bit of you. He then pulls back, and his thumb start to do slow circular motions on your clit. "What do you want, kitten?" "More. I want more." "More of what?" "More of you." "And who am I, kitten? Tell me," his thumb presses a little harder on your clit. Your back arching as the sudden pressure developing in your lower abdomen. "Fuuuuck. I-. Dammit Kuroo." "Not the answer I'm looking for," he stops paying attention to your clit. He stops paying attention to you at all. He just looks at you, waiting for his answer. "Do you always get what you want?" "Isn't it obvious that I do? Now answer my question. Who am I?" "Well. You're a lot of things. An asshole. A sadist. A sexist. A killer. A murderer. A drug lord. A possessive fucked up douche of a man." He then stands up straight and pulls off his suit jacket and throws it on the ground nearby. Then, his fingers start slowly unbuttoning his dress shirt, your eyes gazing at his fingers as they move down and suddenly, he's half naked as he discards his shirt as well. "Get off the island. Turn around and bend over. Spread your legs. NOW!" You take your time getting down, doing it so seductively as you can. His eyes watch your tits jump when you land on the floor and then quickly travel to your ass when you're bent over. "And now what? You gonna spank me?" You let out a small laugh but silence yourself when you hear him unbuckle his belt and remove it from his belt loops. "Spanking to put it mildly. Now, how many times have you disobeyed me?" "Disobeyed? Who do you think-" the harsh pain of his belt hitting your ass cheek has you both stiff and wanting more. "That's one. I think you at least deserve 5 more, kitten." His belt hits you again. And again. And again, until he's hit you 6 times in total. Your ass cheeks red from the friction of the belt hitting you. Your pussy leaking put juices from being so wet from the action. "Hands behind your back," he commands, and you obey, putting your hands behind your back. Kuroo takes the belt and tightens them around your wrists. Once he's done, he takes a step back to admire you from a distance, taking you in. Completely naked, only in those high heels that he wants you to wear while he fucks you. To stab into his lower back while his cock sinks into your folds. "Fucking perfect," he states and gets behind you again and pushes one finger inside your cunt. Your walls clamping around his finger. Wanting more. Needing more. "Fuck. Kuroo. Please." 

”Please what kitten?”

“Please, fuck me. Just fuck me already.” He adds yet another finger inside your cunt and starts pumping them in and out of you.

“Say my name, kitten. Say it.”

“Kuroo.” A slap on your ass cheek and you let out a loud moan from both his fingers giving you pleasure but also from the slap from his hand.

“Say. My. Name.”

“Fuck. Tetsurou. Fuck me Tetsu-Oh my god!” Another slap and his fingers disappear only to be replaced by his cock filling you up all the way.

“Fuck you’re so tight. I can feel you pulsing around me (y/n).” You try pulling your arms but are stopped by the belt holding them together.

“Kur- Tetsurou. Release me. Fuck you’re huge.”

“No and thank you.” He starts slowly thrusting in and out of you. The head of his cock hitting your g-spot softly, building up a pressure inside of you.

“T-Tetsurou. Shit, your cock. Oh.”

“I love it when you say my name. Say it again.”

“Tetsurou.” You moan out. One of his hands grab your ponytail and the other is placed on the middle of your back, pushing you down on the island. His grip on your ponytail tightens and he pulls on it, your head being pulled up slightly. He then starts to quicken his thrusts.

“Fuck kitten, just like that.” Kuroo’s gaze is locked on where the two of you are connected. Seeing his cock disappearing inside of you, going in and out. His cock being covered in your juices. A squelching sound being made from the friction.

“Tetsu. I’m close. Fuck I’m so close.”

“Yes (y/n). Come for me. Come all over my cock.” This does it for you. After almost a whole week of him teasing you, all the moments of sexual tension and him neglecting to make you come this is one of the biggest orgasms you’ve ever had.

“TETSUROU!” You scream. Your mouth wide open, eyes closed and tears falling from your eyes. The pleasure consumes you and you feel your legs wobble and just as you’re about to fall his arms are being wrapped around you, holding you up. Your breathing is heavy and trying to control it, as you move a little you feel him twitch inside of you.

“I’m not finished with you yet, kitten.” You gulp and release a moan as he removes himself from you. His hands go to unbuckle the belt and once you are free you rub your wrists together and slowly turn around to watch the devil in front of you. He is naked and your eyes falls on his hard member between his legs. Your tongue peeks out from your mouth and wets your lips, licking them seductively.

“C’mere,” he speaks, and you obey, walking so you are stood in front of him. Your heels clicking against the hardwood floor. His slightly bends down and picks you up, your legs wrapping themselves around his waist and your arms around his neck. Your lips connect and he walks the both of you towards his bedroom. He places you on his bed and you lie down.

“You’re fucking beautiful (y/n),” he compliments you and you slightly blush. How could this man’s words affect you this much?

His hands grab your thighs and pulls you to the edge of the bed, your legs in the air. He bends down and his head is between your legs. He spreads them wide open and starts devouring your opening. Your hands go and grab a hold of his black hair and watch as his mouth is covering your most private part, his eyes watching you.

“Tetsurou. Please give me your cock. I need more.” At first you think he doesn’t hear you over your moans but soon he pulls back and to your surprise he looks at your cunt and spits on it.

“You taste fucking delicious,” he doesn’t give it a second chance as he pushed himself inside of you again. You throw your head back against his bed and moan out loudly. He pulls your legs together and press them against his chest, hugging them as he thrusts hard in you, like some wild animal. The pressure in your lower abdomen coming back like a tsunami.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Tetsu, I’m close again. I’m coming. I’m- I- FUCK,” and you come around his cock for a second time in just mere seconds.

“Fuck (y/n). I’m there.”

“Come inside of me.”

“(Y/N)!!” Kuroo releases his load inside of you. Milking his seed inside of you. His head thrown back, a vein of each side of his neck popping out. His mouth is slightly open as he lets out a couple of grunts from his orgasm.

After a minute or two, after the both of you have collected yourself his eyes search for your as he looks at you. Releasing your legs, he throws himself on top of you, one arm going to your lower back and lifting you up so your head is on a pillow. His head lands beside yours. The only sound in the room being the heavy breathing from the two of you. His breath is hitting you in the neck, making you shiver.

“Are you cold?”

“Oh- Um- No. Not really. Are you?”

“Me? I’m fucking sweaty and hot as hell.” You let out a laugh and can’t help but smile. His cock that is still inside of you twitch and you stop laughing.

“Your laugh is beautiful. Don’t stop.”

“Hm, well I stopped because someone twitched inside of me.”

“Oh, really?” He pulls his head up, his hazel eyes watching your (y/e/c) ones. His hips starts to move slightly.

“Mhm, Tetsu.”

“You want more?”

“Mhm, yes.” He places his forearms on each side of your head, his face being inches from yours. His lips crash against yours, him pushing his tongue inside of your mouth and you happily open and let him consume you again. If sex with Kuroo was like this, you never wanted him to stop and he didn’t.

The two of you fucked like two horny teenagers until the sun rose the next morning. After coming for what felt like the 20th time the both of you were both breathless and tired from all the fucking.

“Tetsurou. I want this to work between the two of us so please include me in everything you do, and I mean everything. I don’t want to kill you because this sex got me hooked now.”

Letting out a sigh he watched the ceiling and answers with a simple I’ll try. And that’s enough for you. He pulls you towards him, your back to his front.

“Let’s sleep. You need to recharge the energy you lost.”

“Why? Are we going somewhere?”

“No. But when we wake up, I’m gonna have my way with you again.” You gulp but smile. Closing your eyes and letting sleep consume you.

[generallybarzy]

hey there, stranger. iii

SERIES MASTERLIST. one, two

summary: it’s time for your second date with Mat! Everything seems like it’s happening so fast, but both of you have been hurt before, so there’s gonna be a little bit of hesitation when it comes to love… maybe you just need to slow it down a bit.

an: hey, i’m sad and stressed lately so here’s some softness! special thanks to my own 🥔 anon for always listening to me rant and helping me out!!!!!

word count: ~4k

If you thought you hit it off well with Mat on the first date, the best was still yet to come.

Ever since that first glance in the cafe to the first text he sent you, you felt there was something special about him. Something that made him different from your past dates. And you were right. He didn’t waste time after exchanging numbers to text you, and you appreciated that. There were no games played, no “maybe I should wait so I don’t seem too desperate”, none of that. You both wanted to spend more time with each other and you weren’t ashamed to admit it. And though you were both a little shy and nervous at first, it was easy. It was easy to talk to each other. You made each other so comfortable, your energies matched, and Mat could always tell when you had a bad day. He asked why you were acting off before you even realized yourself.

He had practice often, and as the hockey season came to a start, he started having games too, and that took up most of his time while studying took up yours. He’d text you whenever he could, though, and he loved to tell you all about his teammates. It was cute how much passion he had, you could already tell how much he loved the game, loved his team, his teammates. He truly loved them, the way he gushed about his friends, about Anders and Ebs, and Tito and many others, and it just made you care for him even more. And you couldn’t help but smile every time you woke up to a good morning text way before your nine a.m. classes and then a deflated “sorry, i have to get to practice now :(”

“Have fun, mat :)”

And, not that you’d know until much later, it always gave Mat butterflies.

Through the mess of his practice and games and your studying and babysitting, it was hard to find time to hang out again. For a while you were stuck in a loop of texting and sending cute snaps of yourselves to each other, but you were both wanting your days off to match up so you could see each other again. You were stuck in the weird phase of texting every chance you got, even though you’d only seen each other once. You were tired of the “How was your day?” Not that you didn’t appreciate it, but you wanted to be able to talk about something else. And while you wanted desperately to do more than text with him, a part of you was scared. Scared that if you started hanging out again, the connection wouldn’t be there. Scared that the spark isn't really there. Maybe it was the giddy first date nerves and the fact that he was cute. It was inevitable that there was going to be something wrong with this. Things were never perfect, were they?

Then, after over a month since you’d seen him in person last, it happened. The moment you both realized your schedules matched up again, he offered a date. He played it cool, flirty and sweet, as if he’d been running the lines over in his head for a month- he probably had.

handsome mat: “So, I know you moved to the city last year, and I know it’s crazy to move here all on your own. Has anyone really shown you around yet? Showed you their favorite places or recommended any restaurants?”

“Not really. Are you offering?"

handsome mat: “Well, I can’t have you getting lost, can I? Who would go out with me then?” You had turned red at that message and struggled for a bit to find a way to respond. Before you could get over the butterflies and come up with a coherent response, your phone chimed again. “How’s saturday sound?”

“Saturdays great :)”

You couldn’t keep the smile off your face for the rest of that week, all your friends in class commented on how giddy you’d been lately, and begged you to give up some information about this guy you’d been talking to. But you weren’t sure if you were there yet. Maybe it was too early to talk to your friends about him like you’d be keeping him around. You hoped that was the case, but it was better to be safe. You texted Rebecca and told her you wouldn’t be able to babysit this weekend, and she had immediately replied with “You have a date with Mat don’t you! :)”. She was quite proud to have been your matchmaker.

And when Saturday rolled around, you got a text from Mat before you were even awake. “Heading to practice, don’t forget about our date today. See you soon :)”

And you did see each other soon. Before you knew it, you were standing outside your dorm building, watching as Mat noticed you from the other side of the street, his eyebrows shooting up in recognition and a smile blooming onto his face. He had Adidas shoes, tight jeans and a dark hoodie with The Office logo on the chest, a hoodie that looked so big and warm you immediately wanted to steal it. He ran his fingers through his hair, which looked particularly fluffy and floppy today, and made butterflies erupt in your belly. You stood there for a bit too long as Mat tried to find a break in the traffic to speed over to you, but when he got to you, he giggled a little bit, that big dumb smile plastered onto his face.

“Hey. I made it.”

“You did.” There was a brief moment of shyness between the two of you, a moment of nervous ‘Should I hug you?’ but that was soon forgotten. You were happy just to be in his presence, and he was happy too. "’The Office’, huh?" You pointed to his hoodie and his eyes glanced down.

"Yeah? You like it?" He grinned as if he had struck gold. As if he was proud of his choice of clothes today just because you liked it. "Think it's something we could watch together then?"

Your face went hot at the thought of laying on the couch with Mat, cuddled close to his chest and feeling his body pressed against yours. The weight of him against you, the heat radiating from his body to yours. “Yeah, we can watch it together.”

“Nice.” He let out a breath, a little sigh of relief, and the idea that he was so excited to spend more time with you made your heart flutter. “So uhh.” He reached his hand out with a little shrug. “Should we go?” He was offering you his hand.

And, after a few seconds, you took it.

It was the same as the night you held hands in the uber. His hand was huge in comparison to yours. It was big and warm and incredibly soft for a hockey player and made you wonder if he was the type of man to really take care of himself. If he would be the type to have spa nights with you. Oh god, you hoped that was true. It was the same as the other night, the way butterflies were hard at work in both of your tummies, the way your hearts were deafeningly loud, and your smiles giddy and unable to be held back. But, it was different this time. Your hands weren’t cupped together like before, but, entwined, palm to palm, your fingers tangled together comfortably. His hand absolutely swallowed yours up, and it felt so perfect, so right, that in that moment it didn't matter what you labeled your relationship as-- if you were just dating, or exclusive- all you knew there was something about him. Something special.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

He smiled down at you, squeezing your hand in his gently. “So, where do you wanna start? We could head up to the Park, walk around a bit, get some food, go shopping...”

“Any of that sounds amazing. Can I show you something first?”

“Lead the way.”

You planned on taking the subway up to Central Park and walking around there for a bit, but first, you intended to show Mat your favorite place to hang out between classes- only a short walk from your dorm building, was the best view you could find of the Brooklyn Bridge. The most Instagrammable place you knew of in the whole city, and you’d definitely posted a few too many photos here. You walked along the streets, hand in hand, and stopped as soon as you turned the corner and saw that view. You looked up at Mat, smiling, proudly showing off your favorite spot.

“Damn… that’s so cool.”

“Right?” It wasn’t really that intimate, it’s not like this was some hidden away nook of the city, there were people walking all around you right now, but it felt intimate to show Mat your favorite place. “You’ve been here longer than me, I feel like you should know the best places, not me.”

“Well, I don’t really hang out around this spot a bunch. That's probably why we’ve never run into each other.” He looked back up at the view in front of you and moved his hand to his pocket, and you had a sudden feeling of loss at the lack of hand in yours- what do I do with my hand when he’s not holding it? “Hold still.”

“What?” You turned around from your spot where you’d been gazing up at the Brooklyn Bridge to see Mat with his phone’s camera aimed towards you, a dumb smile on his face.

“I said hold still!” He whined, motioning for you to turn around again. “This is gonna be a nice picture.”

You turned for him, smiling and posing in front of the beautiful view. “So we take pictures of each other now?”

“Well, I need a profile picture for you on my phone. And it feels weird to screenshot one from Instagram, sooooo…”

“You looked through my Insta?”

“I mean… yeah.” He scratched the back of his neck, suddenly acting bashful. “I mean… I just wanted to learn a little more about you, ya know? Is that weird? Haven’t you looked through mine?”

“I haven’t.” Not yet.

“Oh, well now I feel creepy…” he trailed off and lowered his phone. “Uh, sorry. This is weird. We don’t have to take a picture if you don’t want to.”

“Mat,” you reached for his hand, curling your fingers around his wrist. If he was ready for this, so were you. You wanted nothing more than to be together, to have physical proof on your phone that you had someone to hold now. “Only if I can take some of you.”

He grinned at your acceptance as he brought his phone back up to snap a few pictures. “There!” He seemed to relax, his shoulders falling into a gentle, content pose as he gazed at the pictures of you in his phone. And then he was beside you, flipping the camera on selfie mode and curling his arm around your waist, “This good?” You nodded, and he tilted his cheek down against the top of your head. You smiled immediately, feeling giddy just at actually seeing yourself and Mat together in the camera. Both your cheeks were flushed. You didn’t even realize when Mat took the picture, you were too busy staring at how cute the two of you looked together. How perfect you looked together.

Was he really going to be the one for you?

Mat gleamed at you in the mirror of his screen, and you were too caught up in the image of yourself smiling- it had been a long time since you smiled because of a relationship you were in- to remember to take a picture of him, too. He grabbed your hand once again, sliding the digits of his fingers between yours and cradling your hand in his, keeping you warm and cozy against his side in the late November chill. “Now let’s get up to the Park, yeah?”

You continued to hold Mat’s hand the rest of your adventure, while you were jumping onto the Subway and finding a space to stand together- Mat had insisted you hold onto him instead of the gross germ-infested Subway poles- and when the train jerked to a start and you gripped Mat’s side even tighter so you wouldn't go stumbling backward. You smiled together all the way up to Central Park, to all the little nooks and crannies of the city that could only be found by someone who’d been there a while already. He held your hand tight, pulling you along and getting laughter to bubble to your lips every time he pointed something out to you with that excited puppy-dog look in his eyes. You noticed elderly couples smiling at you on the street as you and Mat grabbed a bite to eat from a food truck and you realized how much like a couple you and Mat seemed already. Is that what you were? Were you two a couple already? Or were you stuck in that weird phase of dating but not quite exclusive? You really, really hoped it was exclusive, but you weren’t sure what Mat wanted. You weren't sure what he was used to, or expecting from this, and the lack of communication was killing you. How could you bring it up to him?

Later on, your little trip up to Central Park led you back down into Brooklyn, as Mat insisted you end the day with showing you his favorite places near his apartment. So you took the Subway all the way back down to his favorite spots in Brooklyn, the sun falling lower and lower by the minute. He had a smile on his face as he pointed out Barclays center with a proud “that’s where we play!”, and promised to take you to a game as soon as your schedule cleared up. He showed you around different museums and promised to spend another day there, but the sun was going down, and the two of you found yourselves sitting on a little bench in Prospects Park, not far from the cafe where you’d first met.

“Sooo,” Mat squeezed his arm around your shoulders and looked down at you with a gentle gaze. “Obviously, I’m not gonna post those pictures from earlier anywhere, okay? But… if it’s okay with you, can I show them to my friend? I won’t send them, I just wanna tell him about you. He’ll keep it private, I promise.”

Your stomach was going flips at the thought of Mat’s friends knowing about you, but you loved it. You loved slowly becoming integrated into his life, and couldn’t wait to tangle him in yours as well. “Sure, Mat,”

He grinned. “I’m so happy whenever I’m with you.”

You set your head on his shoulder, giggling a little bit at the feeling. “I’m happy with you, too.” The sun was beginning to go down, but you couldn’t enjoy the sunset like you wanted to. Instead, dark clouds were rolling in over the city.

“Oh shit.” Mat looked up, feeling a few suspicious raindrops, and pulled you to your feet, his hand in yours, as the rain started to come down gently and then harder and harder until it was practically pouring down on you. Mat pulled you aside into a small coffee shop, “Probably my favorite in the city”, he commented as he urged you to one of the corner tables. “I’ll go order some warm drinks, okay? Sit tight.” He came back in a few minutes, and as you sat back with each other, waiting for your order to be called, Mat sighed, gazing wistfully out the window to where it was pouring buckets. “Sorry, I should’ve probably checked the weather before deciding on this date."

"No, this is fine. I love the rain."

He smiled. "That's good to know." And then he was jumping up and stepping forward to grab your drinks as the barista called out his name. When he returned with both drinks in his hands, he smirked. "That’s good to know, cause I need to start learning what you like."

It only took a moment for you to recognize why he was giving you that cheeky look as he handed you your coffee. A cheeky little smirk as if he was waiting for something that you didn't know about. After your first sip of the drink Mat had ordered for you, you knew. "Oh my god, Mat!" He laughed and nodded to himself as if proud. It was the drink he had been reading the receipt for over and over when he was nervous in front of you on your first date. He had remembered, "You remembered my order?"

"How could I forget?"

"Wow…" you glanced at his own drink, trying to memorize his order. Black coffee, a hint of vanilla, a splash of almond milk… It made you smile, learning such a thing about him.

"How about we head outside?"

"I'd like that."

Outside, the rain was pouring down and the air had gone chilly. You regretted your choice of outfit when the wind blew through your thin sleeves and a shiver racked through your body.

"Are you cold?" You glanced up to meet Mat's gaze.

"I'll be fine."

"No." Before you could stop him, he was setting his drink behind him on the cafe’s windowsill and pulling his hoodie over his head. He messed up his hair in the process, and it was drooping onto his forehead as he held the black bundle of fabric out to you. “Here. I don’t want you to freeze.”

“Well, I don’t want you to freeze either.”

“(Y/N), put it on.” Before you could refuse again, he slipped it over your head himself. “C’mon babe. Let me help you.” Your heart pounded in your chest and you gave in to him, biting your lip at the sound of your new nickname. You couldn’t remember the last time anyone called you babe.

Mat’s couldn’t contain his smile at the sight of you in his hoodie: your cheeks pink and warm, your smile small and shy, gripping the much-too-long sleeves in your hands as you burrowed into his clothes. He couldn’t help but grin at the sight, and he was certain the cold wasn’t gonna bother him if he had this to look at all night, so he lifted an arm to tuck you into his side. You fit against him perfectly.

“So,” He leaned back against the wall of the building, pulling you along with him. You glanced up at him, your eyes looking breathtakingly adorable behind those lashes, fluttering up at him so innocently. You had no idea what you did to him. “So, what did you tell Rebecca you wanted in a guy for her to think to set us up?”

“I don’t know…..” Mat watched you with an awestruck expression as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, looking to the ground. You’re so beautiful... “I just mentioned being lonely. And that none of my dates were going well.”

He gave you a little half-smile. “Honestly, I’m glad your dates haven���t gone well. If they had, we wouldn’t have met.”

“Yeah.” You paused for a moment, glancing out into the rain and lifting your arm to curl around Mat’s waist.

Just right.

“I told her,” you continued, “I was just looking for someone genuine. Someone with a big heart, and a lot of passion for something.” Mat let out a little shy laugh, and the vibrations echoed from his chest into your body. He squeezed you against him and you squeezed his waist too. “You’re the most genuine person I’ve met in a long time. You seem like you really care, you’re interesting, you love what you do. You have a passion. I know you say “sorry for rambling” every time you talk about hockey, but it makes me so happy just to hear you enjoy something. You just give off this energy….. It’s perfect.” In a burst of confidence, your fingers gave a gentle squeeze to his side. “And I told her you have to be funny, too.”

“Yeah?” He tossed his head back and let little chirps of laughter fill the air as if he was amused with your standards. “Am I?”

“You are.”

“Good.”

In that moment, any hesitance you had about whether or not the spark was there or not was gone. You felt it, you were sure Mat felt it too. Now, you just had to act on it. “Did Rebecca tell you anything about me?”

“Hmm,” he thought for a moment, catching your gaze. “Only your name.” And then, with a smile, he pulled you closer. “And that we’re perfect for each other.”

There was little detail you had time to catch, but what you did, you would remember. His arm tight around your waist, his hand gentle and warm stroking your cheek, long fingers pushing back your hair, his pretty hazel eyes slipping shut as he leaned down. The rain falling down around you became deafening in your ears as he leaned in, as his lips came closer and closer to you, curled up at the ends in a little smile. Your heart sped up. He was going to kiss you.

And you were going to panic.

“Woah, uh, wait, wait, wait!”

Mat pulled away from you, his eyebrows furrowed up and worried. “Too soon?” He took a whole step back from you, holding his hands up in surrender. “Too soon. Sorry.”

You didn’t want to stop him from kissing you, you honestly didn’t, and this would be the most romantic place to have a first kiss, but something felt so off. So rushed. You didn’t want to rush things and ruin something that could be so great. You wanted to go slow and steady, you wanted to savor every moment with him. Who knew when it would be over? “No, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be, really.”

“No, I just panicked. I wanna kiss you.” You took his hands and pulled yourself into his embrace, back to where you were seconds earlier. “I really like you, trust me, and I wanna keep hanging out. I wanna date you. Like, officially. Exclusively. I want it to be us.” Mat smiled.

“I want it to be just us, too.”

Your heart fluttered at his soft-spoken confession, admitted with pink cheeks and a shy smile. So he did feel the same way. He did want you and only you. For now, at least. Who knew what could come in the future? “Really?”

“A hundred percent. I haven’t seen anyone else since we met.”

“Wow.” You bit your lip and held back a smile. Everything you’d been feeling towards him, every feeling you’d been worried about, he reciprocated. It was just the two of you. You were in a relationship. You were his girlfriend. “It’s just… still a little scary. I’m scared to jump back into things again.”

“Bad breakup?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too. I understand, okay? We don’t need to rush.”

“Thank you. Trust me, Mat. I… I want to be with you seriously. It'd be such a shame to waste the chemistry we have. I wanna kiss you, I just…” You squeezed his hands, hoping he’d understand. “I think I’ll make you wait a little longer for that kiss, Maty.”

“Alright. No worries” His words were punctuated with laughter as he settled back into your comfortable position from earlier and leaned back against the wall of the coffee shop, gazing out into the rain, then back down at you. “I can wait. However long you need, babe.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

And then, in the pouring rain, after your little heart-to-heart, you couldn’t help but burst out in giggles. This was it. You’d done it, and you were so excited. “So it’s us, then? Us? We? We’re a couple? A couple?” At this, Mat giggled too, overwhelmed with excitement.

“Oh my God, yeah. We’re in a relationship.”

“You’re my boyfriend, Mat.”

His arm squeezed around your waist. “Yeah.” With a content and peaceful smile, he settled his cheek against the top of your head. “You’re my girlfriend, babe.”

[oikawatower]

a moment. | a. miya

━━☆⌒*. years after your breakup with atsumu, you’re face to face with him. but even if it was for a moment, you felt like a love-struck teen again.

ミ✭ manga spoilers hehe !! my pacing for writing is so ... weird ?? i feel like nothing flows n e ways .. i’ve been down in the dumps for the past week which is kinda why i havent posted anything so i mustered up the motivation to finish this and post it. LMFAO bUt the way i can’t write atsumu’s accent or anGsT🧍🏻‍♀️

・‥━☆ inspired by ‘when we were young’ by adele

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

YOU couldn’t believe your eyes! You kept blinking, hoping to make the image in front of you dissipate and you’d sigh in relief. But the view became more vivid, more heartbreakingly beautiful as time began to slowly still and you locked your eyes onto your ex-boyfriend, Atsumu Miya.

If you’d known Atsumu was on the same team as Bokuto and Hinata, then you would’ve never tagged along with Keiji and his friend, Tenma, to the MSBY Black Jackals vs Schweiden Adlers game. You couldn’t help but think they’ve set you up; bought you a ticket, made you show up no matter what, and then, as if by desperation, you’d set aside your pride and make amends with him.

A fear of succumbing to your burned out feelings began to creep in the depths of your heart. You averted your eyes from Atsumu as he began to move closer to you, your presence still unknown to him.

Your heart began to race, face reddening by the second, and your body covered with goosebumps. Atsumu was closing in on you and if you didn’t know better, you’d walk away. You’d walk away from the man who made your high school experience tolerable, the man who stole your first kiss under a small bridge in the park, and the love of your life. The only person you’ve loved so madly, so deeply, so truly, was in front of you. Yet, your first thought was to run away from him. By thinking that, you’ve already broken his heart a second time.

“(Y/N)?” You heard the voice that belonged to your ex-lover fill your ears. The way he said your name sent shivers down your spine as you heard the uncertainty in it. You rose your head to take a look, and along with it, the feelings you felt in your teenage years rose to the surface of your heart.

Atsumu looked as handsome as the day you left—minus the puffy eyes and tears. His colored hair no longer reminding you of piss since he dyed it a nicer shade of yellow. Still, what an atrocious color, but he made it fit. Then, you looked him in the eye. His eyes made your nerves settle down. You felt at home, even if you lived miles away from Japan now, Atsumu had always been your go-to, your solace away from sadness. It’s been years since you parted ways for your future, to make your dreams come true while Atsumu does the same. In the time during, the both of you failed to realize your dreams were to be together through everything.

You smiled at him, “Hey, ‘Tsumu. It’s been awhile.” Atsumu nodded in agreement. It had been awhile, the last time he’d seen you was on Hinata’s phone when he’d shown Atsumu the picture you sent with Iwaizumi during your short stay in California.

“How’s Australia treating you?” Atsumu asked while he ushered you to sit down on a seat next to him.

“It’s alright, the bugs are scary big and all the people I’ve met so far are super nice,” You rubbed your hands on your thighs, “But I’m home now!”

Atsumu leaned against the wall as he chuckled. He knew you despised being away from home, especially in an unknown country where a majority of the insects seemed to be bigger than usual. When you had told him you’d be considering going abroad for your studies, a part of him didn’t worry. Mainly due to the point that he knew you wouldn’t have the courage to do it. But here you were, residing in Australia and making his heart swell with emotions he hasn’t felt in awhile.

✧༺ ༻∞

The next few hours were spent like old times. It felt like Atsumu and you were still together, somehow able to surpass the big gap of distance between the two of you. You felt seventeen again. Happiness bubbled in your stomach, love overwhelmed your heart, you felt breathless as you held onto Atsumu’s hand. You smiled to yourself, never wanting to leave the comfort of your home, your Atsumu.

Atsumu took out his phone, “Let’s take a pic? I’ll be sure to send it to ya and put it as my lockscreen.” You lightly smacked his shoulder, rolling your eyes as you pose for the picture.

“Tonight was fun, ‘Tsumu!” You spread your arms wide, inviting Atsumu in for a hug.

Atsumu’s face fell, your invite for a hug reminding him the night was to end and you’d both move on with your lives tomorrow morning.

Accepting the inevitable, he hugs you tightly.

“Hey,” Atsumu pulled away, “Can I have a moment before ya go?”

“Of course.”

Atsumu loomed closer to you. His eyes staring you down and you’d cower if you hadn’t felt comfortable.

He held his hand over his heart, “It’s hard for me to admit that everything that happened tonight reminded me of when we were together,” he took a deep breath, “And a part of me keeps holding on to ya as if time won’t catch up to us and everything we are will become nothing but memories.”

You grabbed a hold of his hands. Atsumu still thought of being with you until the end of time. Oh god, this reminded you of when you first left. The overwhelming emotions of sadness and desperation filled your blood, you wanted more time.

“W-What are you saying, Atsumu?”

“I’m saying that I still care, do ya?”

You let go of Atsumu’s hands, wrapping them around yourself as if stopping you from wilting away. How were you supposed to answer that?

Before Atsumu could hear your answer, your phone began to ring. You took it out of your pocket and saw Keiji was calling you. He was probably wondering where you were, why you were out so late when you had an early flight the next morning.

Looking up at Atsumu, your voice began to waver, “I have to go.”

Atsumu lowered his head. He nodded, he was going to let you leave. He was going to watch how you took half of his heart with you, how his feelings seemed to multiply the farther you seem, and how you’ll wilt slowly because he couldn’t stop you again.

You waved, “Bye, Atsumu.”

You turned around, walking away from the love of your life. You didn’t bother to call Keiji back, too worried you’d break down as you explained what happened.

For the first time in the past four years, you relived your first love with Atsumu. The first man you’d always love, the man who gave you the world, and you’d never regret anything with him.

Ding!

You heard your phone, looking at it to see who messaged you.

Tears brimmed your eyes, Atsumu had sent you the picture from earlier.

You stared at the picture for the longest time. It was beautiful, heartbreakingly beautiful. You wondered if the picture had captured the last time you and Atsumu were ever going to be exactly like the two of you were in high school.

“I do care, Atsumu.”

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

[emutempo]

Strike A Pose (domestic SuperCorp one-shot)

Summary: Everyone has the day off but Supergirl. And even though it means leaving Lena home alone for much of the day, Kara's determined to make the best of it.

Posted to my Ao3 here. 

Notes: It's 4:40AM and I just couldn't sleep without getting this out of my head. And since I'm still anxious about posting any of my fics, I figured once again it'd be better to hit that post button before I get too nervous and hit delete instead. Anyway, I hope this brightens at least one person’s day.

----------

Rays from the sun pour in from the windows of Lena’s bedroom and her eyes flutter open as she feels the heat on her face. She forces her eyes open and stretches into a yawn.

She looked across the bed and first saw a mess of golden hair splayed across a pillow. Kara was still fast asleep after a long week working at the DEO. It had been a long week for both them and Lena was looking for to a relaxing Friday with no work.

 She was happy the 4th of July landed on a Friday this year. It usually meant she had a three day weekend with Kara all to herself. No L Corp, no CatCo. Except, today, Kara was on call. Even though the DEO was operating with the minimal crew, Kara had volunteered to cover for J’onn, Winn, James and Alex. They had been so accommodating of Kara’s requests for days off to spend with Lena that Lena didn’t mind.

Today would be like any other busy weekend day for them. They’d lounge around the house, playing board games, watching their favorite movies and cuddling on the couch. And when Kara was called away for her Supergirl duties, she’d give Lena a quick goodbye and take off to deal with the problem before eventually coming back to Lena and resuming their activities like nothing had interrupted at all.

For now, it was still early and the city itself was still waking up so Lena turned over and cuddled against Kara. Her head, barely hit the pillow before she fell back into slumber.

—

Later, Kara and Lena were sat up, cuddling on the living room couch, each with a cup of coffee in hand. On the TV, an episode of QI playing. Kara took a sip of her coffee before

Kara and Lena had taken to watching QI on their lazy mornings. Kara was fascinated with the random knowledge and discussion on the show and more-so with Lena’s endless intelligence. This morning, they were talking about the history of astronomy.

Kara cleared her throat, “so when did people start thinking the Earth was flat again? It’s like they’re afraid the Earth is round. They’re lucky it is or they’d be off floating somewhere in space!”

Lena loved these little conversations with Kara. No matter how long she’d spent on Earth, still so much surprised her. Lena shrugged. “You know, the only thing flatearthers fear is sphere itself.”

It took Kara a moment to realize Lena’s joke before a giggle escaped her throat, still a tinge of morning gruffness in her voice.  Lena stared into her eyes, trying to memorize the beautiful sound of Kara’s laughter. But it was short-lived as Kara suddenly tilted her head, listening.

Lena smiles, knowing in that moment that duty was calling to Supergirl. National City needed its savior. Kara looked up apologetically to Lena. “Small kitchen fire. No extinguisher. Should be quick.”

And a moment later, a whoosh fills the Lena’s living room as Kara disappears for a moment before another whoosh brings Kara back, clad in her blue suit and red cape. Lena blows her a kiss. “I’ll be waiting for you, Supergirl.”

Kara mimes catching her kiss in the air and puts it to her lips before stepping out onto the balcony. Even though Lena’s a little disappointed, she can’t help but smile as she watches her go.

Kara has the goofiest grin on her face she holds Lena’s eye contact. Lena smiles, shaking her head. She knows what’s coming and she waits for it…

Lena watches as Supergirl turns around and takes a big step away from the balcony door. She turns around in place and mimes pressing an elevator button before taking a patient stance with her arms crossed in front of her, as if waiting. A moment later, still ‘standing’ with her arms crossed, Kara slowly floats up into the air as if riding an invisible elevator until she’s out of Lena’s view. But not before giving the Luthor a playful wink.

Lena can’t hold back the laugh caught in her throat. It’s loud and she knows Kara hears it.

—

Later, they’re sitting on opposite sides of the coffee table, a chess board between them. It’s Kara’s turn but she’s gone on a rant and Lena doesn’t have the heart to interrupt her.

“I just don’t understand. Why are ALL of them so sad? Isn’t there a single period drama about two women falling in love where they get to be together? The endings are always so tragic. Unrequited love… pre-arranged marriage… and that’s only if we’re lucky enough one of them doesn’t die! Doesn’t anyone run away together? Or say ‘screw you’ to all the cranky old men?”

Lena can’t stop herself. She leans over the chess board and kisses Kara. It’s soft and sweet. When she pulls back, she gestures to the chess board and Kara finally realizes it’s her move. She hastily moves one of her pieces and by the look on Lena’s face, it’s not… the best move. But Lena ignores it.

“I think they’re just trying to be historically accurate, love. Times were a lot harder for us not too long ago.”

Kara doesn’t seem satisfied with that answer. “Well, I still don’t like it. No more sad movies like that one we watched last night. Here Comes the World… or was it… A World to Come?”

“The World to Come,” Lena reaches forward to brush a hair out of Kara’s face. “We could watch Gentleman Jack.”

Kara pouts. “That doesn’t sound promising.” Lena chuckles, about to launch into an explanation of the history behind the titular character of Anne Lister when she sees that signature head tilt again and Kara’s eyes focus into the distance. Lena’s puts her hand up over the chess board about to say, “Kara, mind the chess board—“ but it’s too late. Two back to back WHOOSHES and Supergirl is again standing before Lena, who’s eyebrow’s cocked in ITS signature position. Kara notices the chess pieces all over the floor and looks at Lena apologetically, “you were winning anyway?”

Kara leans in and gives Lena a quick peck on the cheek. “Drunken brawl. I’ll get everyone settled down and be right back.” She keeps her eyes on Lena’s as she backs her way toward the balcony door. The look in their eyes and the suppressed smiles on their faces tell us that, again, they both know what’s coming. Lena watches as Kara steps outside, her cape flapping in the breeze, and takes her superhero stance. She double taps the emblem on her chest and then puts her hands out behind her and takes off in flight… Is she serious?

Lena guffaws and yells after Kara. “Iron Man? Are you kidding me?” But Lena giggles. Kara knows she’s gonna give her a hard time for that one later. As if to dig in even more, Kara loop-de-loops and flies by the window on her way to the drunken brawl.

Yeah she definitely heard that.

—

Back at home with Lena and Kara relaxing in front of the TV. Kara channel surfs while Lena plays with her hair. She lands on a movie that’s just started.

“Oh, I love Megamind! Have you ever seen it?”

Lena shakes her head, “I think most of the animated films I’ve watched in my entire lifetime on Earth I’ve seen first with you. And we haven’t watched this one yet.”

Kara scoots up closer to Lena. “Can we? Can we watch it together? It’s one of my favorites.”

Lena puts her arm around Kara and pulls her in. “How many times have I ever said no to your movie picks?” Kara turned around, wearing a hurt look on her face even though Lena knows it’s put-on. “You keep saying no to Hocus Pocus!”

“That’s because it’s a Halloween movie and we should watch it on Halloween.”

Before Kara can protest… another head tilt and yep, a WHOOSH away and back.

“Car wreck on the bridge. Firefighters’ jaws of life aren’t working. Back in a jiffy. We’re not finished discussing this.”

Kara went straight for the balcony and Lena thought she wasn’t going to get a special send off. But, of course, Kara had something else in mind. She turns around and grabs her cape, pulling it up over her head in a somewhat childish maneuver.

What the hell is she doing this time? Then Lena gets her answer when the cape puffs up revealing Kara blowing air into it to resemble a parachute before she floats up, up, and away.

“Ok, that was a good one.”

She can picture the shit-eating grin on Kara’s face and shakes her head, turning back to the TV and hitting play.

—

Kara and Lena in the kitchen, making an early dinner. Kara’s arguing a point and waving a spatula around like a judge waves a gavel.

“You agree that Bette Midler’s amazing and this is one of her favorite roles she’s ever played. She said so herself. I know because she follows me on Twitter.”

Lena flicks a gravy-covered whisk at Kara, flinging the brown sauce onto her shirt and face. Kara mouth drops open and she freezes in place, shocked at Lena’s gravy betrayal.

“That’s what you get for showing off.”

Kara, hands and face still frozen, pivots to face Lena, “oooh, you’re going to be sorry for that.” With a burst of speed, Kara reaches out and tickle Lena’s sides. Lena squeals as she tries to escape but she knows it’s futile. There’s no way she’s escaping Kara’s grip so she does the next best thing and flicks more gravy at her. And now it’s Kara’s turn to squeal. “You are gonna HATE gravy by the time I’m through with you!” Kara dives for Lena but before she can catch her up in her arms again… you know what it is. The head tilt. Kara listens for a moment as she wipes gravy from her face and licks it from her finger. Lena takes a swipe for herself too.

Kara quickly glances at Lena before a smirk takes over her face. But Lena can’t stop her before…

“Kara don’t—“

… Kara WHOOSHES away, spinning the gravy off her body and flinging it EVERYWHERE, including Lena.

“—Do the whoosh thing.”

Lena stands there for a beat. Now SHE’s the one frozen with gravy-face. Kara whooshes back into the kitchen and licks a spot of gravy off Lena’s face.

“Break in at the pawn shop. Don’t try to sneak any kale into the fagioli ‘cause I’ll know.”

Kara makes her way to the balcony but Lena doesn’t turn around. She waits a beat for the tell-tale whoosh but doesn’t hear one. She knows Kara’s waiting for her to turn around and although part of Lena doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction of turning around, she does. Supergirl has places to be and she doesn’t want to keep Kara waiting.

Kara smiles as Lena turns around before jumping onto an invisible broomstick and doing her best interpretation of a witch cackle as she ‘flies’ off.

Lena rolls her eyes as she wipes the gravy off her face with a towel. “Ok, ok! We can watch Hocus Pocus when you get back.”

Lena goes to the fridge and grabs the bunch of kale she’s hidden in one of the fridge drawers.

—

The evening. Lena and Kara lay on the couch, the remnants of their dinner on the coffee table in front of them. Kara swipes a remnant of gravy from one of the plates and quickly dabs it on Lena’s nose. Lena’s nose scrunches at the cold liquid as Kara fights to keep a straight face. So does Lena.

“I’m starting to understand why these witches want to eat these children.”

Kara playfully smacks Lena’s arm. She knows Lena isn’t mad in the slightest. Kara giggles as Lena tries to lick the gravy from her nose with her tongue. But her tongue can’t reach. Kara leans forward and licks it off for her.

“I could eat you.”

Lena blushes and leans in for a kiss. It’s tender and sweet. Lena pulls away to look Kara in the eyes. “Well, you have put a spell on me so I’d probably let you.”

Kara’s eyebrows perk up and she bites her lip, “is that a request, Ms. Luthor?”

But of course… Lena doesn’t get the chance to answer before Kara’s head tilts once again. A beat before… WHOOSH.

“Run of the mill creep following a woman home. Give me five minutes to set this guy straight.”

Kara plops a kiss on Lena’s nose where the gravy was before she turns and runs straight out for the balcony. She doesn’t wait for Lena to turn around but Lena watches anyway as Kara takes a running leap toward the balcony bannister and lands on top of it. She takes a few more jumps like she’s on a diving board before leaping and tucking into a somersault as she “dives” off the bannister and disappears below the balcony.

“Go get him, love.”

Lena hits pause on the movie and sits back, staring off through the balcony windows at the city, her eyes filled with a dreamy haze. She’ll wait for Kara to come back and watch with her.

—

Later that night, Kara and Lena are finally lying in bed cuddling and listening to the last of the fireworks going off.

Kara flips through Twitter on her phone while Lena reads a book in one hand and uses the other to stroke Kara’s hair. She hears a small yawn escape from the blonde’s mouth and looks at the clock.

“It’s getting late. Are you ready to go to sleep, love? Should I turn off the light?”

Kara drops her phone dramatically and tucks her head into Lena. Her arm lands with a thud across Lena’s stomach, collapsing as if exhausted.

“I’m not tired if you’re not.”

Lena strokes her head a few more times before she dogs ears the book she’s reading and places it on her night stand. She leans over to turn off the light when she feels Kara sit up. She turns and sees Kara’s head tilted, listening. Lena picks her book back up, ready to continue reading while she waited for Kara to come back from another rescue.

“What is it this time? Wild assassin penguin on the loose? Three crazy witch sisters kidnapping innocent children?”

Kara stiffens up and tilts her head the other way. “No, it’s a woman…”

Lena sets her book to the side, noticing the serious tone in Kara’s voice. “Kara, what’s wrong?”

Kara looks at Lena, seemingly concentrating on a sound in the distance, a look of concern across her face. “She’s dying… of patience.”

Lena’s eyebrows scrunch together and she squints at Kara, confused. “What?”

Kara turns to face Lena, still as serious as ever.

“She has this girlfriend who keeps rushing off all over the city, leaving her alone at home and she’s just… been so patient.”

Lena’s face relaxes and falls into a lazy grin as she catches on to Kara. Kara can tell Lena’s savvy to her playfulness but she doesn’t drop the series tone.

“See, she’s a very important and very busy lady who doesn’t get a lot of time off to spend with her girlfriend and when she does, her girlfriend always has to fly off. So, if it’s ok with you, I’ve gotta go fix that.”

Lena pulled Kara in close. She didn’t try to feign shock or surprise or play along. She was too consumed with earnest love and she didn’t want to waste any more of their time today, “so how long will it be this time?”

Kara leans in close, kissing Lena with soft lips and tenderness, “forever.”

[harley-sunday]

The Draw [16]

Summary: The whirlwind starts at the 2018 ACE Comic Con in Phoenix but you’re not sure where it will end…

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader (unnamed OFC)

Warnings: Language. 

Word count: 5k

AN: I just can’t seem to quit this story - I keep adding parts... But. BUT. We are closer to end. There’s not much more I can say without giving anything away, except that this chapter seems to consist of mostly phone calls... 🤷🏻‍♀️ I hope you like it, please let me know what you think - I’d love to read your thoughts :) ♥

Masterlist

“I don’t know, Brad,” you try your hardest not to sound as frustrated as you feel, “last week you told me that you understood the process, so I don’t really get why we are missing all this inventory right now.” You rub your temples, trying to get rid of the headache that started when you got to the office this morning, quietly cursing the jetlag that has been bothering you ever since you got back from Greece on Saturday, although you know Brad’s fuck-up also has something to do with it. Inventory is not that difficult. 

Brad, who’s been interning at the San Francisco office for a grand total of three weeks and yet somehow thinks he’s God’s gift to this company, just shrugs, “I’m sorry?”

You just stare at him and shake your head, “No. Go over it one more time, ok? I’m keeping these here,” you tap the stack of papers on your desk, “so really start at zero again and report back to me tomorrow morning.” You watch him roll his eyes before he nods and turns around to leave. “Brad?” You no longer try to hide the annoyance in your voice, “Close the door on your way out, will you?”

When he does you let out a frustrated groan and lean back in your chair, quietly shaking your head and wondering if you were ever this cocky when you first started working here. Probably not, Deb would have never allowed it. As if on cue your phone rings and when you see who’s calling you answer with a smile, “Hi, Deb.”

“How you holding up, kid?”

“Just told an intern to start over on inventory,” you offer, “so I’m sure he’s telling the other interns what a bitch I am right about now.”

You hear Deb chuckle, “Good for you.” There are some muffled sounds on the other end of the line then and you can just imagine her getting up and walking to the kitchen to get another cup of coffee because the woman seems to run on double espressos and cigarettes. “Listen, I want to run something by you.”  

Weird. This is weird. Usually she just informs you after whatever it is she has decided, but her wanting to 'run something by you' tells you she actually wants your opinion. You sit up in your chair, curious to hear what she has to say, “Sure.”

“Technically I’ve found someone to take over the San Francisco office from you,” she says, “and on short notice too, because I know you’ve already been out there longer than you’d like.”

“Ok,” you draw out, not sure where she’s going with this.

You hear her sigh and then she mutters something about biting the bullet before she says, “It’s Mark.”

“Oh.” Your heart drops and your throat goes dry, the lump that suddenly has appeared hard to swallow. There’s a million things running through your head all at the same time, some good, most of them bad, and an involuntary shiver runs down your spine. You don’t really know what else to say and so you stay quiet, waiting for Deb to give you something more to go on.

“I know,” her voice is unusually kind, reserved only for the really shitty situations and it tells you she hates this as much as you do. She clears her throat then, “I’ll be honest with you, kid, I contacted him. I know he wasn’t happy when I shipped him off to the London office after you-” she hesitates and clears her throat again, “After what happened. Thing is, he has done some great work there, out of all our overseas offices, this one’s giving us the best turnover.”

You only half-listen to her listing off why this is a good idea, your mind drifting to when you first met Mark. There was talk of a new guy coming in to maybe take over from Deb in a few years, supposedly the best in the business although some called him an asshole who would stop at nothing to get to the top and so by default you had decided you probably wouldn't like him, but then all of a sudden there he was, all six foot two of him, full of ambition and good looks  and sweeping you off your feet almost instantly. You told yourself, and him, you didn’t do office romance, that you would never date a colleague, but all it took was one night of overtime and some celebratory drinks after to make you forget your so-called rule. 

And the first six months were good, really good. Or at least that’s what you thought. In the end there were warning signs all along, but you just choose to ignore them. And even now you’re not sure what triggered him but something changed after those six months and Mark became manipulative, obsessive, and abusive, and at first you told yourself it was just stress from work, even though deep down you knew better. Still, you always believed you’d be the one to make him change his ways, if only you did what he wanted. Problem was, you were never sure what that was. 

He’d want you to wear a tight dress and high heels one day, and the next he would tell you you looked like a whore and what were you thinking leaving the house looking like that? It took you too long to understand you could never make him happy, no matter what you did, and that he would always find things to obsess over. When you finally realized your relationship had turned toxic it still took you another two years to quit him, and that was only after you learned he’d cheated on you with a girl from accounting. When Deb found out what Mark did she immediately took your side and made it look like his sudden move to the London office had been planned all along even though you know she had to pull quite a few strings. 

She still doesn’t know about the verbal abuse and the threats and the mind games, you realize then. Maybe if she did she wouldn’t have offered him to come back. 

“You still there?” Her voice interrupts your thoughts. 

“Yeah.” 

She sighs and you can just imagine her pinching the bridge of her nose, “Thing is, with the experience he has, you’d only need a day, two at most, to bring him up to speed.” She hesitates, “If we bring in someone new-”

“It’ll take at least four weeks,” you offer with a nod even though she can’t see you. 

“Yes.” 

“Yes,” you echo. You roll your lip between your teeth, trying to decide whether or not you should tell her the full story. Would it matter? And if it did, would it mean you’d be stuck out here longer?

“Listen, take the day to think about it,” she offers then, “get back to me tomorrow and let me know, ok?” 

“Ok.”

“Alright.” 

Before you get a chance to say goodbye she has disconnected the call and so you’re left with your own thoughts. Tapping your phone against your chin you’re trying to decide what to do, but it seems like too big of a decision to make on your own. You pull up your texting app and send Lauren a quick message:

You free tonight? 

Her reply comes not much later and surprises you:

Sorry, can’t tonight. Going on a date :)

You type a reply almost immediately:

?? Why didn’t you tell me? But also, YASSS! Go get it, girl! Call me tomorrow?

You lean back in your chair while you wait for her reply, a little upset that she didn’t tell you, and you can’t help but wonder why. 

Her reply doesn’t really make you feel any better:

You were busy, babe. Talk to you tomorrow.

You kick off your shoes the moment you step into the apartment you refuse to call home, and head straight to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of wine, before you open the takeout container and put some of the fried rice and egg rolls you got from your favourite restaurant on a plate. It’s still nice outside and so you end up on the tiny balcony, now bare feet propped up on the railing as you eat your dinner. 

The thought of having to work with Mark again, if only for a short while, takes up most of your headspace and you hate how indecisive you are about it. Part of you wants nothing to do with him ever again, but part of you knows he really is the best man for the job. Say what you will about the asshole, but he knows how to run a company. Having Mark at the San Francisco office would probably mean neither you nor Deb would have to step in ever again and, you reason, he could probably manage Seattle and Phoenix from here too. 

You really just want to talk to somebody about this, because putting your thoughts into words has always helped you, and so you call your brother.

The call goes straight to voicemail although a message follows soon after:

At Jake's science fair, or did you forget that was today?

You let out a frustrated groan, because yes, you totally forgot. 

It does nothing to help your mood and you're starting to feel so bad about missing out on so much that's happening in Charlotte right now, what with Jake’s science fair and Lauren apparently dating someone, that it's actually making you homesick. You decide to pour yourself another glass of wine, because fuck it. 

When you close the fridge your eyes fall on a picture of you and Sebastian you've put up there and you figure maybe you should just call him. A quick glance at the clock, however, tells you it's early morning in Greece and so you forego that idea because you don't really want to wake him up with the news your ex is about to make a comeback into your life.

You are having a very ‘Woo is me’ moment and hate how alone you feel right now. You know the wine is not helping and so you dump what’s left in the glass in the kitchen sink and put the kettle on for a cup of tea instead. While the water boiling you set out to find a notebook, hoping that putting your thoughts on paper will help you figure out what it is you can do about this situation and maybe make some decisions.

You call Deb the moment you’re at your desk and she answers on the first ring.

“Tell me,” 

Never one to beat around the bush, you think, although in this case you appreciate it. “Have Mark take over San Francisco,” you tell her, “but I need him to do his homework in advance because two days is my absolute max.”

“Noted,” Deb agrees easily, “but?”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves, “I want to be able to divide my time between Charlotte and New York as I see fit, with Charlotte as my home base, at least for now. If I ever decide to move to New York I want it to be an option to turn that arrangement around-” 

“Give me two weeks once Mark has settled in-”

“-and I’d like to take four weeks of unpaid leave in August,” you add quickly, before you lose momentum. 

She sucks in her breath, “I don’t know if I can do that, kid.” 

“It’s only four weeks, Deb,” you counter, “and it’s unpaid. I still have enough days left to make it a paid vacation if that’s what you prefer.” You close your eyes and scrunch up your nose, anxious about her reply, because you’ve never really talked back to her like this before. 

Turns out there was nothing to worry about when she tells you, “Look who finally put on her big-girl panties, standing up to her boss.” She lets out a laugh, “I’m proud of ya, kid.” 

“Will you let me know when to expect Mark? I’ll make sure everything’s ready by then.”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“It’s just,” Lauren hesitates, and you want to tell her it’s ok, that you know you haven’t been there for her as much as you should have, but she continues then, “it’s weird not having you around, not knowing what you’re up to. Not knowing if, when I call you, I’m bothering you.”

“Hey,” you counter quickly, “you are one of the few people who never have to worry about that and I’m a little shocked you would even think that. You can call me day or night, Laur, always.” 

“I know.” She sighs then, “It’s just- I feel like- I don’t know, ok? It’s just different with you being so far away for so long. I miss you.” 

“I know,” you try to smile even though she can’t see you, “I’m sorry for not being the best bestest friend these past few weeks. I miss you too, babe.” You get up from the couch and make your way onto the balcony where you lean against the railing, “Let’s just hope Mark can make it out of London soon so I can get back to Charlotte and get back to annoying you twenty-four seven.” 

She laughs, “You’re going to have to share me now, though.”

You’re relieved she seems to have accepted your apology and so you decide to tease her a little more, “You do realize the first thing I’m doing when I get back is give Matt the same stern talking-to as you did Sebastian?” 

“Oh shit,” she whispers. A little louder then, “Please don’t, I really like him.” 

“Well you better tell him then that your best friend is not above kicking his ass if he ever hurts you.”

“Will do.” She clears her throat then, “So, are you going to tell Sebastian about Mark?” 

“That was the most abrupt change of subject ever,” you scoff with a grin, “what the hell, Laur?”

“I just think you should tell him.”

“I know,” you pinch the bridge of your nose, “I will. I just want to wait until I know when Mark gets here, you know?”

“Yeah.” She lets out a yawn and laughs, “Sorry.”

“Alright, alright,” you smile, “I get the hint.” 

She laughs, “I’m sorry, babe, it’s been a long day. Listen,” another yawn, although you’re sure this one was on purpose, “let me know once you know more about Mark and when you’re getting back, ok?”

“Yup, will do.” You have to stifle your own yawn then, “Talk to you soon, babe.” 

“Love you.”

It isn’t until Friday afternoon that there’s an email from Deb, informing you Mark will take a flight from London next Wednesday so that you have all of Thursday and Friday to get him settled in. She’s included a list of subjects he wants to discuss but you decide that’s for later, before you close all active connections and shut your laptop off. You grab your phone off your desk and send a quick message to Lauren:

Coming home next weekend :)

Her reply comes when you’re at the elevator bay:

Yay! Let me know how when you land and I’ll pick you up! Xx

Your next message is to Sebastian:

Missing you something fierce, Stan! Call me when you can? X

The sound of your phone wakes you from a deep sleep early on Sunday morning, but you can’t help but smile when you see ‘Mr Smooth’ flashing on your screen and so you answer with a quiet, “Hey you.”

“God, it’s good to hear your voice again,” he whispers. “Hi, sweetheart.” 

“Hi,” 

“You ok?”

“Yeah,” you smile, “I have some news though.” There’s a knot starting to form in your stomach and so you figured it’s better to bite the bullet right away. 

“Tell me,”

“Promise you’ll let me finish before you say anything?”

“That bad?”

“Not really- I don’t know,” you push the covers off and swing your legs over the edge of the bed. You take a deep breath before you continue, “Remember when I told you about my ex, Mark?” 

“Hmm,” he replies, and you take that as your cue to continue.

“What I didn’t tell you then- And maybe I should have- We used to work together in Charlotte.” You clear your throat, “And when we broke up Deb moved him to the London office, but now she wants him to take over San Francisco from me.” You wait for a reply from him, but then remember you told him to wait and so you continue, “He starts on Thursday and we’ve scheduled two days for me to bring him up to speed, so I’m going to have to spend some time together with him and I don’t know, I just thought you should know.” You push yourself off the bed and make your way to the kitchen, “The good news though, is that I got Deb to agree to let me divide my time between Charlotte and New York from now on, and that I have four weeks off in August.”

He stays quiet for a little too long and so you’re preparing for the worst when he finally replies. But then he just says, “How do you feel about seeing him again?” and you feel a wave of relief washing over you.

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly. “I mean, I know he’s right for the job and it’s always easier to bring in someone who has experience and knows the company, but I- There’s a lot of history there and I just hope he realizes I’m not the same person anymore.” You lean against the counter and let out a sigh, “I guess I just want to get this over with and go back to Charlotte.”

“So nothing for me to worry about?” His voice is soft.

“No,” you’re quick to reassure him. 

“Good.”

Mark is, well, he’s still an asshole, you realize when he walks into your office and tries to greet you with a hug. You offer him a hand and a curt, “Hello,” and have to hide your smile when you see the disappointment in his eyes. You’ve been feeling nervous all morning, hell, all week, because somehow you knew he would try to act like nothing ever happened. 

“So this is how it’s  going to be, huh?” He says while he puts his briefcase down on one of the visitors’ chairs on the other side of your desk. 

“Yes, Mark,” you nod and sit down in your own chair, “this is exactly how it’s going to be.” You watch as he unbuttons the jacket of his three piece suit before he sits down and leans back in his chair and you hand him a folder, “Read this first, it’s an overview of the last five years and should give you a fairly good impression of how things are run here.”

He thumbs through the papers, seemingly resigned to the fact that it’s solely a business relationship between you two from now on, and you see his eyebrows go up when he comes to the financial statements, “How on earth-”

“I know,” you hand him another folder, “this is Paul Kroeger’s file. Or at least everything that I’ve managed to uncover in the few weeks I’ve been here. I really urge you to keep digging, because I’m sure more shit will come up.” 

“Why didn’t Deb step in sooner?”

“You’ll have to ask Deb that,” you offer with a shrug. Another folder then, “This is everything you need to know about the rest of the staff here. I don’t think anyone else was in on it, but again, you might want to keep digging.”

He nods, “Ok.” Taking all three folders, he puts them in his briefcase before he looks back at you, squinting a little as if he’s trying to read you. There’s a hint of a smile playing on his lips when he says, “You’ve changed.” 

And you haven’t, you want to bite back, but don’t because you want to at least try to keep things civil. Instead you simply agree, “I have.” You try to steer the conversation back to work, “We have a meeting with Finance in ten minutes, then lunch with the board, and a meeting with Sales in the afternoon. After that I figured we could take a quick tour of the building, so you can meet everyone, and then I’ll send out the official message to all of our partners.”

He just nods.

“I’ll make sure to have this office empty by the end of the day so you can get settled in,” you continue, “and then I’ll be available all day tomorrow should you have any further questions.” 

“You forgot one thing,”

You don’t say anything and just look at him with a raised eyebrow. 

A cocky smile flashes across his face when he says, “You forgot to mention we’ll be having dinner tonight so we-”

“We’re not having dinner tonight, Mark,” you say, effectively cutting him off. It makes you feel good to tell him no and so you have to try your hardest to hide your smile when you see his face drop. 

“You really have changed,” he says again, but this time there’s a hint of dismay in his voice.

You smile widely now, because fuck him, “Yes. I really have.”

Blame it on the red-eye flight and thus having to get up extremely early this morning, or simply on the fact that it’s been five weeks since you last saw her, but you find yourself actually tearing up when you walk out of exit E and see Lauren waiting there for you. 

She holds out her arms as you walk up to her and then envelopes you in a tight hug, “Don’t cry, silly.” 

“I just really missed you,” you sniffle while you wrap your arms around her. “And it’s that time of the month, so you know,” you chuckle through your tears, “double the fun.” When you pull back you see her eyes are glossed over as well and so you just stick out your tongue at her, “Let’s go home.” 

“Alright,” she says once you’re in her car, “start talking, babe. I want to know everything that’s happened since I last saw you.”

You’ve just finished telling her about your parents’ visit to San Francisco and your trip to Greece when she pulls up on your driveway and so all of a sudden you’re home again after almost two months. The garden looks absolutely immaculate and you know you have your parents to thank for that, reminding yourself to call them later today. Grabbing your suitcases out the trunk you let Lauren take one from your as you follow her to your house.

She turns around rather dramatically when you get to the front door, “Ok. So. Please don’t be mad, but-” she pulls a face, “-that plant in your dining room?” 

“Felicity?”

“Sure, yeah,” she scoffs, “name your plants. What’s next? Naming your electrical appliances?”

“You’re just stalling because Felicity the Fiddle Leaf Fig is obviously no longer with us and you’re just too afraid to admit you killed her,” you counter, trying to keep a straight face.

“I didn’t-” Lauren hesitates then and seems to realize you’re just messing with her, “but yes. Felicity has gone to plant heaven. It was all very sad. I buried her in the backyard if you want to pay your respects.” 

You let out a laugh, “I’d rather you just open the front door for me so we can have a drink and gossip about Mark.”

“You really said that?” 

“I really did,” you admit with a smile, thinking back to when you told Mark to have a nice life when you left the office Friday afternoon. You grab the bottle of wine from off the floor next to you and top of her glass before you fill yours, “I don’t know. In a way those two days gave me some sort of closure, I guess.”

“Hmm,” she agrees, taking a sip of her wine. “So what’s next?”

“Well first you’re going to introduce me to Matt sometime this week-”

“Babe.”

“Babe,” you echo. “You’ve been dating for almost a month, do I need to remind you that you met Sebastian before we even were officially dating?”

“Yeah, ok,” she agrees, “I guess you could both come over for dinner next weekend.” She sits up a little, “So you’re going to be here for a while, right?”

You nod, “Sort of. I go back to work on Monday and then Sebastian’s scheduled to fly back on the third and that’s the same weekend I start my four-week leave-”

“That’s only two more weeks.”

“It is,” you smile. “I don’t know if he wants to celebrate his birthday here or if he wants to go to New York, and I think he said something about maybe taking a short holiday somewhere, but his next project starts in September so I’ll come back to Charlotte then and probably stay here while he’s away.” 

“Ugh,” Lauren rolls her eyes and shakes her head but smiles, “to be the girlfriend of an international superstar.” 

“Tante!” Jake exclaims when he opens the front door. He all but jumps in your arms to give you a hug.

“Uh, excuse me, sir,” you tease, resisting the hug, “who are you and what did you do with my nephew?” You laugh when he pulls a face, “You are getting too big, kiddo, slow it down a little, will you?” 

Jake giggles and hugs you even tighter. 

“Ah, there she is,” Nathan says from the doorway, arms crossed in front of his chest, “my long-lost sister. So glad you're finally gracing us with your presence after coming back home a week ago.” 

“So dramatic,” you counter with a grin, although he has a point. You should have gone to see them sooner, but as always work got in the way, what with Deb doubling your workload before you take your leave in another two weeks. Jake jumps out of your arms then and so you get to hug your brother for the first time in what feels like forever, ‘“ Hi, Nate.”

“Hi, loser,” he says from somewhere over your shoulder, but the way he holds you tight tells you he’s missed you too. 

“How you holding up?”

“Good,” he pulls back and smiles, “still some headaches every now and then, but not as much as two months ago-”

“That’s good,” you agree. You follow them through the house and out into the backyard, where Jake excitedly shows you the inflatable swimming pool he and Nathan put up yesterday. Sitting down on one of the chairs you watch him as he takes off his shirt and jumps in without hesitation. 

Nathan re-emerges from the kitchen with some iced tea and hands you a glass before he sits down somewhere next to you. He flicks your upper arm, “You good?”

You nod, “Yeah.” 

“Truth?”

“Truth,” you reply with a nod. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, “a lot has happened in a short time, I guess.” 

This is new, you think, this out-in-the-open caring side of your brother. You decide you like it and so you try not to make a smart remark but instead reassure him, “I’m good.”

“You sure?”

“Nate, what are you getting at?” You’re confused now, because why is he pressing this? 

He hangs his head and lets out a sigh, “I guess you haven’t seen it yet, have you?”

“I’m not-” you watch him as he gets his phone and pulls up something that has his jaw set in a way that tells you whatever it is, it’s not good. He hands you his phone then and you let out a quiet, “Oh,” when you see the pictures.

“I figured that’s why you were here,” he says with a nod towards his phone.

"When?"

"Saw them this morning," he offers.

You scroll further down and feel your throat go dry when you see picture after picture of Sebastian and some girl, her hand on his arm as she seems to whisper something in his ear. He’s laughing in some of the pictures and if you didn’t know any better you’d think they were on a date. 

“Is that his co-star?” Nate asks quietly, knowing that if it is the pictures could have been taken on set and it wouldn’t be as bad. 

Not trusting your voice right now you just shake your head because no. No, it isn’t. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing, babe,” Lauren tries again, but she sounds a little less confident now that she’s seen the pictures and read the accompanying article about Sebastian’s new mystery woman where they claim she’s a Greek local he fell for while filming ‘Monday’.

You drove straight to her house when you left Nathan’s in a hurry, but only after you promised him you wouldn’t do anything reckless, and now you’re on her balcony, trying to make sense of all of this over some hard liquor because you both deemed wine wasn’t going to cut it. 

She says something else then, but you’re not really listening and so you just continue to stare into the distance. She nudges you with her foot, “Call him.” 

You shake your head, “I don’t want to.” 

“Why not?”

You look at her with tears in your eyes, your voice barely above a whisper, “What if it’s true?”

[lovelyirony]

“Let me help you.” for Clark and Bruce please?

i’m making these rounds of prompts au so i present: new neighbor au (note: i know next to nothing about the bat fam pretty pretty please do not kill me i’m begging) 

Bruce Wayne already hated moving into the house, although the house itself wasn’t particularly bad. Jason and Dick were already fighting over who got the corner room (they didn’t know Cass had already started to set up a vanity there) and he had already heard at least one bad crack from a kitchen box. 

But it was fine. 

This did not explain why there was a strange man in his house, talking to Jason as if this was a regular occurrence. 

“Who are you?” Bruce asks bluntly. “And what the hell are you doing in my house?” 

“Dad!” Jason hisses. “This is our new neighbor, Clark Kent. Be nice.” 

“It’s okay, I technically did come into the house without his knowledge,” newly-named Clark Kent admits. “I’m sorry, I just noticed that your son was struggling with a box labeled ‘dishes’ and figured it’d be better to help than to schedule a trip to the store for more plates.” 

He was right. This was the problem. 

(This guy was also ripped, had on a pair of thick, black frames that somehow looked good, and looked like he probably ripped logs in half when he was bored.) 

“Thank you,” Bruce says curtly. “But I think we have it from here.” 

He hears a yell from the yard, and it’s Dick and Tim fighting over a box that got dumped over. 

Inside is the office computer, which is now not an office computer but scraps for one of the kids to use for some project that hopefully isn’t world domination. 

(It’s not like Bruce can’t replace it, it’s just that...well he doesn’t want to go monitor shopping.) 

“Let me help you,” new-neighbor says. He’s too damn earnest. 

“I’m fine,” Bruce grits out. “Believe me, I can handle it.” 

“You just moved in with more kids than I think I’ve seen, it’s been a long day. At least let me make you dinner.” 

“Please?” Duke asks. 

Clark gestures as if saying “I was right.” 

“Your cooking kind of...sucks.” 

“It’s not that bad.” 

Jason pokes his head out now to yell for pizza. 

Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fine. Dinner is fine. Thank you. It’s not necessary. You will spoil my kids. But thank you.” 

“Um...how many are exactly in your family?” 

“Shoot for ten, that’s probably good,” Duke says. 

To his credit, Clark only blinks once. 

“Gotcha,” he says. “Dinner will be ready in two hours, give or take. I have a...store trip.” 

Bruce slips him cash. 

“Here. I know it’s a pain. You can back out of it or order pizza. If you order pizza, that’d probably work.” 

“Pizza sounds good. I’ll get pizza. Any allergies?” 

“Don’t put mushrooms on it!” Cass yells out the window. “They suck!” 

“No they don’t!” Damian yells back. “You have no taste!” 

Clark grins. 

“I think I’m gonna like having you guys as my new neighbors.” 

- 

Clark thinks his new neighbors are fun. He can sometimes hear yelling and the boys are chasing each other around the kitchen. They practice what looks to be a game of tag but with consequences in the backyard. 

Their father is very interesting. He leaves the house at five each morning for work, and Clark only knows that because he’s on a run every day with Diana, who is also as insane as he is. 

“He looks nice,” she says, craning her neck. 

“Way to be obvious,” he comments. 

“Like you aren’t,” Diana says, laughing. “Catch up to me before I lap you again.” 

Clark rolls his eyes. “Fine.” 

“When was the last time you dated?” 

“You know the last time I dated,” he responds. “I’m fine with not dating.” 

“And yet I think you’d actually want to date a man who has what seems to be an infinite supply of children,” Diana responds. 

“You make it sound creepy.” 

“I can’t keep track of them. I keep seeing new ones.” 

Clark tells her all about the kids. How he sometimes talks to Tim about school over the fence, or he’ll bring over dessert since Cass mentioned no one knows how to bake besides Alfred, but Alfred retired. 

(Note: find out who Alfred is.) 

Who he doesn’t talk much to is Bruce. Which is odd, considering he knows that he’s home quite a bit. 

(Windows are clear, you see things through them. That’s his reasoning.) 

Bruce is a very interesting man, because he’s always out with the kids throwing around a ball, or taking at least one of them around the neighborhood learning how to drive. 

(Clark is scared for Cass to actually have a car she’s run over about seven different mailboxes.) 

It’s when he gets his doorbell rung and standing there is Duke and Damian. 

“You’re coming to family dinner,” Damian says. “We figure we owe you for always climbing your fence to get the baseballs and for sometimes probably keeping you up until two a.m. because we’re debating on food.” 

“I’ve learned much about pineapple on pizza,” Clark says. “What time should I show up? Do you guys want dessert?” 

“Dessert would be great, and dinner is at six-thirty,” Duke says, grinning. “Still remember those lemon bars you made. Best things I’ve ever had.” 

“I’ll bring some over then,” Clark says, grinning. 

- 

Unofficially, the kids have noticed that their dad needs someone. 

Well okay he doesn’t but occasionally he looks at their neighbor a second longer. 

(Tim did the math.) 

So Clark gets invited to dinner. Besides, they’re tired of simply talking over a fence. And Alfred suggested knowing at least one neighbor just in case one of them got in trouble and Bruce was away on business or the like. 

Bruce does not know that Clark got invited to dinner. 

Or that he can actually casually wear t-shirts. 

(He wonders if he tailors his t-shirts.) 

“What are you doing here?” He asks. 

“Was I...not invited?” Clark asks. 

“Oh, you definitely were,” Dick says. “We decided to be neighborly. We followed Alfred’s advice, Dad. You know how good that is.” 

Bruce knows he cannot argue against Alfred. 

“Welcome,” Bruce says. “I hope they didn’t badger you into bringing another dessert.” 

(Oh let it be known Bruce is a liar, he was hoping for a dessert.) 

“Duke requested lemon bars, so I had to fill a need,” Clark explains. “Thanks for letting me crash your dinner.” 

“It isn’t a problem,” Bruce says. “Tim, go get another chair.” 

“Why do I have to get the chair?” 

“Damian, go get the chair.” 

“I am hated in this family,” Damian declares, getting up from his seat. “But I’ll go get it.” 

“I appreciate you!” Clark calls, navigating through the kitchen easily. “Mind if I set the dessert down?” 

“Not at all, let me squeeze past you to get the water glasses.” 

Okay so maybe Tim scoots his chair back and Bruce is used to just moving out of the way and avoiding getting the back of a chair shoved into his stomach but then he runs into Clark. 

“Sorry!” he says. 

Bruce is against his back. 

“It’s fine,” he says, straightening himself up. “Tim, quit moving your chair at ill-opportune times.” 

“Sorry,” Tim says, looking not-sorry-at-all. 

Bruce sends him a dirty look. 

Damian shows up with the chair, grinning. 

“Sorry about the kitchen, tends to be a hard-to-get place with all of us. Anyways, water?” 

Bruce hates his kids. They are not slick about anything. Cass cannot look him in the eye without smiling. 

Clark is oblivious. 

Dinner is...good. Better than good. Clark is surprisingly good with dry humor, and entertains the kids with stories of his greatest journalism feats. 

(Bruce is impressed.) 

He also handles the sheer volume of kids with a certain amount of grace. He listens carefully when Tim’s talking, even when Jason yells over him for someone to pass the dessert. 

After dinner, Clark is invited to the backyard porch to have a drink while the kids play outdoors. 

“You do a nice job,” Clark says. “It must get pretty crazy, all by yourself.” 

“It can be,” Bruce admits. “Although the kids have grown up enough to know when they need to quit it. Mostly. Sometimes they still fight about things like ice cream.” 

“The great flavor debate,” Clark nods. “Your stance on chocolate chip cookie dough.” 

“Oh god, you’re that guy?” 

“It’s the superior flavor!” 

“That is the most boring answer you could’ve given.” 

“And what is your answer?” 

“Peppermint.” 

Clark stares at him. 

“What?” 

“So you only have ice cream, like, once a year?” 

“Sure. Don’t really like any other flavor.” 

Clark shakes his head. 

“Not mint?” 

“Mint is still good, but not the best.” 

“And your stance on the lemon bars?” Clark asks. 

“I hid some in the fridge so I could get more,” Bruce admits. Clark laughs. 

Bruce likes the sound of that. He likes how Clark looks under those stupid fairylights that Duke and Cass had snuck into the cart when he wasn’t looking. (They looked good, he had to admit.) 

He looks away for a moment. 

“It’s getting dark,” Clark says. “I have an early day tomorrow, I better head home.” 

“Feel free to come any time,” Bruce says, nodding. “I mean that.” 

“I get the feeling you never say things you don’t mean,” Clark answers. 

Bruce smiles slightly. 

“How’d it go?” Dick asks. 

“Do not ask me.” 

(That means it went well.) 

- 

Clark comes over to the house a lot more after that, as well as having the Wayne family over to his. 

Lois makes fun of him when he has his phone background a picture of him and the family in the backyard for Tim’s birthday. 

“You need to marry in,” she says. “Enough of this.” 

“We’re just neighbors.” 

Lois starts humming music from The Sound of Music and Clark gives her a look. 

“You still need to meet your deadline by tonight!” Lois calls back. “I know you can do it!” 

He sighs, turning back to his desk. 

Tonight was his turn to host dinner, and it was all of them. He still had to leave work early (if he could) and get the makings for the rest of the meal. 

Dear Clark,  Duke mentioned that you have an upcoming deadline at work. I am aware this could impede your timing for tonight’s dinner. I am going to the store with Cass. What do you need for dinner?  From,  Bruce Wayne. 

Clark snorts. Bruce always texts like that, no matter who it is. He texts his own kids like that, no matter the circumstance. 

Thank you, Bruce. I need one more pound of ground beef and some drinks (juice and stuff like that.) I will pay you back when you get back. 

Dear Clark,  Payment is not necessary. All of my children have subjected you to debates about “pineapple” and “government conspiracy theories.” No problem.  From,  Bruce Wayne. 

“Why I’m attracted to you, I have no idea,” Clark mutters, rolling away from his desk to get another coffee. 

- 

“You should get him flowers,” Cass says, looking at the bouquets lined up. 

“Why?” Bruce asks. 

“People like flowers,” she says. “And they’re used when you like someone.” 

Bruce slowly swivels his head. 

“Would you like to pretend that I never heard you?” 

“Not really. You’re the one grocery shopping for our neighbor that’s your type and refusing payment.” 

“How do you know what my type is?” 

“When Tim and Jason get bored it gets bad.” 

“Remind me to rescind talking privileges in-house.” 

“Noted, but disregarded. We need gummy worms.” 

“We do not need gummy worms.” 

They still get thrown in the cart. 

And now Bruce is nervous for a dinner that is literally just a dinner but maybe he should get flowers. 

He gets sunflowers. Because Clark is a Kansas boy and roses are overrated anyways. 

- 

Clark gets flowers from Bruce,who by all means looks quite flustered. 

“They’re wonderful,” he says, smiling. “Cass help you pick these out?” 

“Nope, his idea,” Cassie says, digging into her pockets. “I bought gummy worms.” 

Clark blinks as she steps off to go see her brothers. 

Bruce winces. 

“Sorry if that’s a bit...forward. I figured you’d like the sunflowers.” 

“Not too forward at all,” Clark says. “In fact, I’d like an after-dinner conversation, if you don’t mind.” 

Bruce blinks. 

“Um. Yes.” 

That is the first time he had ever said “um” in Clark’s presence, so this is a pretty momentous occasion. 

Dinner is still nice. Bruce is a bit lost in thought and Clark has to refocus in on the conversation of Dick bitching about his new floor routine and the coach who’s making it impossible to practice. 

The kids have enough sense to offer to either a.) go work on homework or b.) do the dishes. 

Clark leads Bruce to the backyard, sitting on the patio furniture. They overlook his garden. 

“I don’t know why I kept the fence,” Clark says. “Not like anyone’s to the right of me, and your family comes over often enough we don’t really need one. Wanna help me remove it?” 

“Is that what your after-dinner conversation consisted of?” Bruce asks. 

“No,” Clark says. “But I needed to say something else so I got courage to say what I want to say.” He takes a breath. 

“Bruce, you are without a doubt the strangest man I have ever met. You send text messages like you’re sending business emails, yet you always participate with Jason’s internet dances and even, on occasion, help prank other siblings. You pretend like you never know anyone’s interests but you have gotten me my favorite jam at least once and make the kids’ favorite desserts for dinner. 

“Furthermore, I think I am incredibly in love with you because you look nice in suits and you got me sunflowers because you know I like them. You are also one of the best people I’ve ever met. So I would like to take you on a date.” 

“A real date?” 

“As opposed to what, taking you to a meeting with my journalism team?” Clark asks. 

Bruce smiles softly. 

“I am joking.” 

“Nerd.” 

“Where is the date going to be?” 

“I figured we actually go to that restaurant we always order takeout from instead of ordering enough for twenty people,” Clark teases. 

“Sounds good to me,” Bruce says. “We’ll need to not tell the kids or they’ll want to spy on us.” 

“Obviously. What day works for you?” 

“Wednesday?” 

“We both tell them it’s a late night at the offices, start without us,”  Clark says, grinning. 

“I can’t wait.” 

- 

The date goes quite well. The kids are very sad to have missed it, although they make sure everyone knows that they were the ones who set the two up in the first place. 

“You have to say it in your wedding vows,” Dick says. “I was the one who planned it.” 

“I was the one who pushed my chair!” Tim yells. 

Cass rolls her eyes, shares a look with Duke. 

Bruce shakes his head. 

“You are not getting credit for Clark asking me to go on dates with him, Dick. You get credit for not unloading the dishwasher this morning, however.” 

“Ugh.” 

Damian snickers from his position on the couch, and gets a flowering look from his older sibling. 

“Where’s your date tonight?” Duke asks his dad. “Going somewhere special?” 

“Maybe,” Bruce answers. “It’s Clark’s turn to choose. I never know with him.” 

(He knows. They’re going to a farmer’s market. Barbara Gordon also knows this and has told Jason, who finds it hilarious that his dad, who usually is very Stern and Serious will be pulled into conversation on different strains of heirloom tomatoes.) 

[bobbystompy]

91 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2020

Below are my favorite quotes from 2020. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.

1) “You don’t have to be new to make new.” - Rick Rubin

2) “He put the beat on and go to sleep then wake up with a verse.” - The Lox

3) “Every opinion is bad.” - Blink-155

4)

(via Twitter)

5) “At the start of every disaster movie, there’s a scientist being ignored.”

6) “Be brave enough to suck at something new.”

7) “Comedy is the only job you can have where you can use everything you know” - Robin Williams via Dave Chappelle

8) “What’s the worst swear word where you live?” - Josiah Hughes

9) “Cookies are a really great way to get everybody to like you for a short period of time” - YSAC

10) “The worst dancer at a wedding is the one who’s not dancing.” - John Mulaney

11) “I never saw the end of the tunnel. I only saw myself running out of one." - Kobe Bryant

12) "A good movie begins as you're walking out of the theater" - Ethan Hawke

13) “When I was young and starting in cinema, there was a saying that I carved deep into my heart which is, 'The most personal is the most creative.’ That quote was from our great Martin Scorsese.” - Bong Joon-ho

14) “Run to the rescue with love, and peace will follow” - River Phoenix via Joaquin Phoenix

15) “Thank you -- I will drink until next morning.” - Bong Joon-ho

16) “Men will bury their emotions for decades and then take it all out on children tubing while they drive the boat.” - @krauter_

17) “They help you with the dumb face stuff, but they don’t tell you how to fix it” - Adam (Nate’s friend), on having older sisters

18) “We all had our connections, but it’s not the details themselves that matter, it’s the feeling behind them. There are a million coming-of-age tales. Lady Bird’s secret sauce is how deeply its creator gave a shit. The older I get, the less I care about anything but the sense of a filmmaker’s personal connection to the material. It doesn’t matter what it’s about, what genre it is, or whether it’s genre at all. I only really care that it feels like something the filmmaker had to tell me, and that it was that filmmaker in particular who had to tell it. It has to answer the ‘why are you telling me this’ question, and not just why are you telling me, but why are you telling me.

Lady Bird is a movie that feels like only Greta Gerwig could’ve made. And it’s only because it’s so specific to her that it can be so meaningful to so many people.” - Vince Mancini

19) "I have cast some lonely votes, fought some lonely fights, mounted some lonely campaigns. But I do not feel lonely now.” - Bernie Sanders

20) “Ever hear a Beatles song you haven’t heard before?”

21) “Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.” - Charles Bukowski

22) “You shouldn’t have to hear a band to know if they’re good or not” - Josiah Hughes

23) “I was raised by OGs.  Some of you were raised by IG.  I understand.” - Ice-T

* * *

[Here is where I note the line of demarcation that was the COVID-19 pandemic hitting the US, pushed forward by Tom Hanks’ announcement, the NBA and NCAA shutting down, and, then, the nation itself.]

* * *

24) “There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades happen.” - Vladimir Lenin

25) "Taken together, this is a massive failure in leadership that stems from a massive defect in character. Trump is such a habitual liar that he is incapable of being honest, even when being honest would serve his interests. He is so impulsive, shortsighted, and undisciplined that he is unable to plan or even think beyond the moment. He is such a divisive and polarizing figure that he long ago lost the ability to unite the nation under any circumstances and for any cause. And he is so narcissistic and unreflective that he is completely incapable of learning from his mistakes. The president’s disordered personality makes him as ill-equipped to deal with a crisis as any president has ever been. With few exceptions, what Trump has said is not just useless; it is downright injurious." - Peter Wehner

26) "Epidemics have a way of revealing underlying truths about the societies they impact." - Anne Applebaum

27) “A funny thing about quarantining is hearing your partner in full work mode for the first time. Like, I’m married to a ‘let’s circle back’ guy — who knew?” - Laura Norkin

28) 

(Jojo Rabbit)

29) “The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. - Deadwood: The Movie

30) “All bleeding stops eventually.” - Deadwood: The Movie

31) “Our Father, which art in heaven… / Let him fucking stay there” - Deadwood: The Movie

32) “It’s like a power outage, but we still have power” - Ryen Russillo, on the pandemic

33) “Whenever Sox baseball returns, it’ll be weird to not have Farmer on the call any more. The relationship between a fan and longtime announcer is always built in the little moments. One afternoon, he’s the soundtrack as you clean the garage. On another night, he’s your bookmark for the game as you stand in line for churros or walk down the ramps at Sox Park to try for better seats in the 100 level. A voice like Farmer’s becomes so familiar that you only really notice when it’s no longer there.” - Kevin Kaduk, on the passing of Ed Farmer

34) 

(via Twitter)

35) “In my songs, I try to look through someone else’s eyes, and I want to give the audience a feeling more than a message” - John Prine

36) “Observe everything. Admire nothing.” - Generation Kill

37) “Trump, by that definition, has always been a wartime president -- always willing to sacrifice people he doesn’t know to things he only sort of cares about” - David Roth

38) "Whenever they speak Michael Jordan, they should speak Scottie Pippen." - Michael Jordan

39) "Fiction is a bridge to the truth that journalism can't reach." - Hunter S. Thompson

40) “Airlines sending me “we’re in this together” emails. When my suitcase was 52 pounds I was on my own.” - Mike Dentale

41) “Sometimes you can be the worst source of your own story” - Ryen Russillo

42) “Family is not necessarily blood, but instead who you would bleed for.”

43)

(via Twitter)

44) "This is the deal that Jordan made, knowingly or unknowingly — that he would trade everything he had for everything he wanted. And then, when he won all those things, he found that he had nothing but that.” - David Roth

45) “I’m brand loyal, but the brand doesn’t matter” - Caitie Miller, on why she doesn’t like generic peanut butter

46) “NOBODY shitposts Gene Hackman!!” - Mark Dehlinger

47) “When a man concludes that any stick is good enough to beat his foe with—that is when he picks up a boomerang.” - G.K. Chesterton

48) “You can be appalled forever, but shocked only once.” - Jeff Weiss, on early Eminem

49) “Whether I’m pessimistic or optimistic, the fight’s the same” - David Simon

50) “Freedom can never be completely won, but it can be lost.” - Bernard Simon

51) “Racism in America is like dust in the air. It seems invisible — even if you’re choking on it — until you let the sun in. Then you see it’s everywhere. As long as we keep shining that light, we have a chance of cleaning it wherever it lands.” -Kareem Abdul Jabbar

52) “In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist -- we must be anti-racist.” - Angela Davis

53) “Start as close to the end as possible” - Kurt Vonnegut, on creative writing

54) “You can’t stay woke all the time — that’s insomnia.” - Dr. Cornel West

55) “No, I get it. I’ve dated a lot of Geminis.”

56) “The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” - John Krakauer, Into The Wild (via Tyler Keller)

57) "I couldn't show them my For You because it's pretty much just lesbian stuff and depression memes" - Maggie Loesch, on showing TikTok to her coworkers

58) "It's 1 a.m. in Slovakia and I've already had one bottle of wine and I don't know how long this press conference will go, so good luck to me." - Marian Hossa, following his NHL Hall of Fame announcement

59) “All I want in life is to go on an Anguilla group trip” - Mandy Gilkes

60) “You miss old friends when you don’t see them, but you miss them more when you do.” - Chuck Klosterman

61) “The only way to appreciate the present is to pretend it’s already the past.” - Chuck Klosterman

62) Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth Until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked

(”Everybody's Free [To Wear Sunscreen]”)

Second time that essay’s been quoted on this list.

64) "I mean, it's just human nature to suck up to the people above you, crap on those beneath you, and undercut your equals” - Brian, Family Guy

65) “You never quit a job. You quit a manager.” - Brian Bedford

66) “All the pictures in my house are of people I’m not friends with” - Tracy Cunningham

67) “In order to leave something behind, you have to leave.” - Dr. Herman, Grey’s Anatomy

68) 

(via Twitter)

69) “You can obsess about death if you don’t have to obsess about dying.” - Brendan Kelly via “White Noise”

70) “If it’s right to do, it’s wrong to wait.” - Andy, doorman 

71)

72) “When I'm sometimes asked when will there be enough [women on the Supreme Court] and I say, 'When there are nine,' people are shocked. But there'd been nine men, and nobody's ever raised a question about that.” - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

73) "America is mostly people who’ve never left their state saying we have the best country in the world." - Billy Wayne Davis

74) “A writer is someone who knows at least 80% of their writing sucks.” - Gabe Hudson

75) 

(via Twitter)

76) “You’re dead twice” - Brendan Kelly

77) “Perfect is the enemy of good” - Voltaire (via Zach Lowe)

78) “I don’t want to be a savior, I want to be a mirror.” - Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

79) “I get bad Twitter FOMO but not real life FOMO. That just goes to show I need to get off the Internet.” - Josh Thomas

80) “Is there anything you love in life that you engage with seriously that you don't also engage with humor?" - Sam Sutherland, on his relationship with Blink-182

81) “My favorite genre of music is my friends' bands" - Josiah Hughes

82) “Let’s fall in love like both our parents aren’t divorced.”

83) “Seabiscuit may be the only earthling that was on both sides of the stamp.” - Brendan Kelly

84) “There’s no shame in coming in second, except in, like, wars.” - Family Guy

85) “I feel like I experience writer’s block 100% of the time, and when I do write, I have impostor syndrome.” - Phoebe Bridgers

86) “We teach based on what we most need to learn.” - psychologist on Grey’s Anatomy

87) “Having too many choices is the leading cause of stress” - Grey’s Anatomy

88) “I think we've all gravely underestimated the extent to which this year has changed all of us, permanently” - Kelli Maria Korducki

89) 

(via Twitter)

90) “I wonder if people understand why they don’t have polio” - Sandra E. Garcia

91) “Ending songs is terrible, so let’s keep singing” - Dave Hernandez

[aion-rsa]

How Thor Changed the Marvel Cinematic Universe

https://ift.tt/33NlKGy

Marvel’s Thor, the first theatrical live-action film to feature the comic book giant’s version of the Norse God of Thunder, opened in theaters a decade ago, on May 6, 2011.

Directed by Kenneth Branagh and starring a then little-known Chris Hemsworth in the title role, Thor was the fourth film in the still-nascent Marvel Cinematic Universe. It was also — as we look back at it now — a pivotal one in the development of the MCU.

“I’m very proud of my part of it,” Branagh told us a couple of years ago about his handling of Thor. “Which was providing a sort of backbone that they could comically riff off, but at least it originally contained some of the high stakes Nine Realms import that that larger mythology has to have as well.”

Thor took the franchise off the Earth for the first time and into the cosmic side of the Marvel mythology, introducing audiences to the Nine Realms, the kingdom of Asgard and other mind-bending concepts that comic fans had adored for years but which were a major risk to put in front of mainstream moviegoers.

Even the character of Thor — with his helmet and his hammer and his arch way of speaking — often seemed to skate perilously close to laughable in the pages of the comics themselves. But he was also a mainstay of the Marvel line and a charter member of the Avengers, the superhero team that Marvel based its entire initial run of films upon.

Marvel

Thor didn’t take the Rainbow Bridge to the screen

A Thor movie based on the Marvel Comics version of the character had, surprisingly, been bandied around for years even before there was a Marvel Cinematic Universe.

The God of Thunder debuted on the page in Journey into Mystery #83 (August 1962), created by Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, and Jack Kirby. A founding member of the Avengers, he joined Iron Man, the Hulk, Ant-Man, and the Wasp in the pages of The Avengers #1 (September 1963). In the ensuing decades, he has starred in multiple iterations of the Avengers comics, plus many ongoing and limited series of his own.

An animated version of the character debuted in 1966’s Marvel Super-Friends show, while the first live-action incarnation of Thor (played by Eric Kramer) showed up in the 1988 TV movie The Incredible Hulk Returns, a follow-up to the late 1970s series The Incredible Hulk.

While Thor continued to turn up in various animated Marvel properties, it was in 1991 that the first full-length, live-action Thor movie was proposed — by no less than Sam Raimi.

The director, who later went on to make the first three Spider-Man movies and who is now working in the MCU on Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, revealed to the The Hollywood Reporter in the wake of Stan Lee’s passing that he pitched a Thor movie to the Marvel Universe co-creator over lunch.

“We worked together writing treatments and took it to Fox and pitched it,” Raimi recalled. “And they said, ‘Absolutely no. Comic books don’t make good movies.’ This was in 1991.”

The rights to Thor bounced around Hollywood for a few more years (at one point it was set up at Sony with David S. Goyer writing and possibly directing) until landing back at Marvel Studios, which had reinvented itself as an independently financed production company in 2005 with distribution through Paramount Pictures. The studio, run at the time by David Maisel with Kevin Feige as president of production, hired Mark Protosevich (I Am Legend and the unfilmed Batman Unchained) to write a script for Thor, with Matthew Vaughn (X-Men: First Class) coming aboard to direct in August 2007.

Marvel

Enter Tom Hiddleston as Loki…

No sooner did Matthew Vaughn sign up to direct Thor than he seemingly left just as quickly, although it was officially announced in May 2008 that he was departing. Creative and budget issues seemed to have sealed his exit. “Marvel loves the script,” he wrote in The Guardian in late 2007. “The only problem is that it has been costed at $300m and they ask how I am going to reduce it by $150m.”

Even though Thor had already been scheduled for a June 4, 2010 release date, Marvel still had to find a director. Talks were held with Guillermo del Toro, but he decided to direct The Hobbit instead (which he ended up leaving as well). At the end of its search, Marvel finally chose Kenneth Branagh, the Irish actor and director best known for his epic adaptations of Shakespeare’s Hamlet and Henry V — which kind of provided an idea of the tone Marvel was looking for.

Branagh was finally signed in December 2008, telling MTV News, “It’s a chance to tell a big story on a big scale…It’s a human story right in the center of a big epic scenario.”

Once Branagh was signed, the movie’s release date was pushed back from June/July 2010 to May 6, 2011, providing plenty of time for the film’s extensive visual effects to be designed and created and for Branagh to find his cast — starting with the God of Thunder himself.

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The first person allegedly approached was Daniel Craig, who had just starred in his second James Bond film, Quantum of Solace. It was because of his commitments to the already massive 007 franchise that Craig turned down the hammer-wielding Asgardian, although it’s somehow hard to imagine the tough-as-nails Craig as the egotistical (at least at first), young Odinson.

A long list of young, relatively unknown actors tested for the part, including Chris Hemsworth (who was just making his brief but scene-stealing appearance as James Kirk’s father in J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek), his brother Liam, the equally obscure Tom Hiddleston, Kevin McKidd from Grey’s Anatomy, Alexander Skarsgard (Godzilla vs. Kong), Charlie Hunnam (Sons of Anarchy), Joel Kinnaman (The Suicide Squad), and others. But Chris Hemsworth ultimately won the day, with Hiddleston landing the consolation gift that would keep on giving, the role of Thor’s villainous adopted brother Loki.

“That was my starting point, was that you have a character with a predisposition toward mischief,” Hiddleston said about playing the trickster god, during a 2010 set visit attended by this reporter in Manhattan Beach, California. “An inclination toward chaos and a delight in imbalance, and you couple that with the fierce intelligence that he has, and a chess master’s ability to manipulate events three or four steps ahead of the game.”

Adding even more gravitas to the production was the signing of the legendary Anthony Hopkins to play Thor’s father, Odin, along with Natalie Portman as Jane Foster, Rene Russo as Thor’s mom Frigga, Colm Feore as Laufey, the king of the Frost Giants, Idris Elba as Heimdall, and others. Also signed: Samuel L. Jackson for his third appearance as Nick Fury (in an end credits bonus scene) and Jeremy Renner as Clint Barton/Hawkeye, marking the live-action debut of the bow-and-arrow-wielding Avenger.

Filming on Thor began in mid-January 2010 and wound down in early May, with shooting taking place at Raleigh Studios in Manhattan Beach, California (Marvel’s studio home in the MCU’s early years), Santa Fe, and other parts of New Mexico, and locations in northern California.

Colm Feore told The Deadbolt that the Shakespearean training which he, Branagh, and Hopkins all shared enabled them to quickly communicate with each other while shaping the characters and finding the right tone: “One of the things that was enormously helpful on Thor was that during the breaks, Tony, myself, and Ken would be talking in Shakespearean shorthand about what the characters were doing, what we thought they may be like, and how we could focus our attention more intelligently.”

During that same set visit to the Manhattan Beach set of Thor, Marvel president of production Kevin Feige told this reporter and others that the movie was going to feature more extensive post-production work than other Marvel films. “When you walk around Captain America or Iron Man, you can get it,” he explained. “With Thor, what you’re seeing is only 30% of what the movie will be. This is the big question mark and to me that makes it the most exciting. I like it when people don’t exactly know what we’re going to do.”

Reshoots were completed in late 2010, while The Avengers director Joss Whedon shot the end credits scene in which Nick Fury reveals the Infinity Stone known as the Tesseract to Dr. Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgard).

Marvel

Marvel takes a big swing with Thor’s hammer

Introducing Thor and the Asgardians — who were essentially aliens, with technology so far ahead of our own that they seemed like gods to the ancient, more primitive people of Norway more than a millennium ago — was a major gamble for the MCU and its then-president of production (and now Chief Creative Officer) Kevin Feige.

Out of Marvel’s first three films, Iron Man and Iron Man 2 were massive, out-of-the-box hits, while The Incredible Hulk was a middling success at best. Yet all three films were Earthbound and dealt with plausible (as far as it went) science and technology. The science of Thor was — to borrow a phrase from the late science fiction titan Arthur C. Clarke — indistinguishable from magic.

“Asgardians are kind of ‘been there, done that’ when it comes to that kind of stuff,” said co-producer Craig Kyle to this reporter and others on the set visit. “For them to send you across the universe, it’s as easy as turning a key … Their technology is only as sophisticated as it needs to be to do extraordinary things.”

Making Thor, Odin and the other inhabitants of Asgard, Jotunheim and the rest of the Nine Realms into extra-terrestrial beings mistaken for gods by ancient humans took Thor away from sword-and-sorcery and fantasy and more overtly into the science fiction genre. But it also provided the film with a back story and mythology that was perhaps easier for modern movie fans to swallow — more Star Wars than the Völuspá.

“We just kept trying to humanize it all, and keep it very real,” Chris Hemsworth told Superhero Hype at the time about his approach to the title character. “Look into all the research about the comic books that we could, but also bring it back to ‘Who is this guy as a person, and what’s his relationship with people in the individual scenes?’ And working with someone like Kenneth Branagh, who has all those bases covered and has so many ideas, it was a hell of a time!”

In addition to taking the big creative risk of bringing Asgard and Thor to the screen, the movie took several other chances as well. Starting a tradition that Marvel would return to with films like Captain Marvel and Guardians of the Galaxy, Thor did not function as a traditional origin story. We meet Thor, Loki, Odin, and enter Asgard with only a brief introduction detailing the history of ill will and war between the Asgardians and the Frost Giants.

Thor’s journey in the film is not that of an ordinary character being bestowed with great powers and learning how to use them, the typical arc of a superhero film. He is fully formed here, if flawed, and as the film progresses he learns to be a better version of the immensely powerful being that he already is — with the help of the human beings that he meets during his fall to Earth.

When Thor — the likely successor to his father’s throne — reignites hostilities with the Frost Giants partially due to his own immaturity, Odin decrees him unworthy of wielding Mjolnir and banishes him, powerless, to Earth. That leaves the door open for the crafty Loki — who has discovered that he is not Asgardian after all, but the child of Frost Giants — to manipulate and scheme his way into power himself.

Marvel’s other big gamble was making Loki a much more fully developed antagonist than had been previously seen in many comic book movies. Skillfully portrayed by Hiddleston in a performance that made him an instant star, Loki is an empathetic, nuanced character whose longing for the love and attention of his adopted father — who lavishes more of both on Thor — leads him down a dark path and into a character arc that would take several years and movies to play out.

“I think Loki intuitively feels that he doesn’t belong there, he doesn’t belong with the family in Asgard and doesn’t belong in the pantheon of gods,” said Hiddleston at the time. “He’s confused about his place in the universe … We all reach a point in our lives where we think, ‘What the hell are we supposed to do with our life?’ Thor reaches that point in this film and Loki does as well, so yes, maybe if Odin had made him feel valued and respected and essential to Asgard, then it would have been okay.”

Marvel

Thor smashes all preconceptions

Thor had its world premiere in Sydney, Australia on April 17, 2011 and opened in that country — Hemsworth’s native land — four days later. It premiered in 56 more markets before finally opening in North America on May 6, 2011.

The film earned a 77% fresh rating and mixed reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, with critics praising the performances by Hemsworth and Hiddleston, as well as the grandiose family drama on Asgard, but less impressed by Thor’s journey to Earth and the climactic battle there against the massive golem-like Destroyer sent by Loki to kill Thor.

More importantly for Marvel, the film connected with audiences despite the perception that Thor was largely unfamiliar or dated. Thor earned $181 million at the North American box office and a further $268 million abroad for a worldwide total of $449 million.

While that ranks it near the bottom of the 23 MCU movies released to date (along with Ant-Man and Captain America: The First Avenger), it was a far from shabby showing for the early MCU and proved Marvel’s calculation that it could expand Marvel’s footprint on film beyond already established characters like Spider-Man, the X-Men and the Hulk.

“I liked it when people said, ‘Iron Man’s the B-Team. You’re calling out the B-Team!’ We knew it wasn’t,” said Feige on set about using what were perceived as lower-tier Marvel heroes. “We knew it was going to be great. And that holds true for Thor … here’s another one that will redefine us and at least raise the bar of what a comic book movie is, for both people who’ve read comics and those who haven’t.”

Thor expanded the boundaries of the MCU into the realms of space, alternate dimensions and cosmic conflicts, while putting another key part in place for the impending arrival of the Avengers. And while 2013’s follow-up, Thor: The Dark World, was a misstep and considered one of Marvel’s few outright failures, the studio brilliantly reinvented the character in 2017 with Taika Waititi’s Thor: Ragnarok, moving him away from the initial Shakespearean grandiosity and into a more humorous space.

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That in turn allowed Thor and Hemsworth to have one of the most profound character arcs across the entire span of Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame. His story in those films, the box office clout of Ragnarok, and Hemsworth’s enthusiasm for the role led Marvel to commission 2022’s Thor: Love and Thunder — marking the first time an MCU hero is venturing into a fourth solo movie.

Ten years later, while not a perfect film by any means, Thor is still an enjoyable, consciously weird Marvel epic that proved the God of Thunder could bring the lightning even to modern audiences. And while Thor has seemingly abandoned the throne of Asgard for now, his first film’s place in the MCU pantheon is secure.

The post How Thor Changed the Marvel Cinematic Universe appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2RWjeeA

[carry-the-sky]

we drew a map to a better place

Two years after he comes back into her life, Frank asks Karen a question.

this is set in the same ‘verse as my kastle christmas fic, and it’s probably the fluffiest, most ooc thing i’ve ever written, lol. things are more than a little unsettling in the world right now, so writing this was a nice distraction from all of that. i hope everyone is staying safe and healthy, and i am sending my love to you all. <3 (the fic is also on ao3! special thinks to @ninzied for reading parts of this over!!)

He’s gone when she wakes up.

Frank’s an early riser. It’s not unusual for him to be out of the apartment before the sun is up, even on the weekend. Karen reaches toward his side of the bed out of habit, fingers sliding through empty air. The sheets are cold—he’s been gone for a while.

It isn’t until she sits up that she sees the folded up piece of paper on his pillow. She stares at it for a minute before her sleep-fogged brain registers that she should probably pick it up.

She recognizes Frank’s handwriting as soon as she opens it, and panic blooms in her stomach. Her mind jumps immediately to worst-case scenarios—his cover as Pete has finally been blown, someone's coming after him, he needs to leave town—

Her eyes skim the first lines. First things first, don’t worry. I’m fine.

Karen huffs a laugh, relief flooding through her. He knows her too well. She keeps reading.

Thought we’d try something different for our anniversary this year, maybe take a trip down memory lane. I’ve hidden a few more letters around the city—you remember the place we met to talk about a certain ex-NSA analyst?

 Frank

 P.S. Bring Lucy.

Karen blinks. She reads the letter again, digesting each word. He’s sending her on some kind of scavenger hunt—that explains where he’s been all morning. It’s an unexpectedly soft surprise, and her heart clenches in her chest.

There’s a thin whine from the other side of the room. Karen glances at the clock on the nightstand—it’s a little after eight, which means she slept in longer than she usually does.

“Sorry, Luce,” she says, sliding out of bed. After adopting Lucy, they had initially tried to sleep with her at their feet, but after multiple nights of her attempting to claim Frank’s side of the bed, they decided to buy her a dog bed for their room.

Lucy is curled up, but scrambles to her feet as soon as she sees Karen.

“Morning, girl,” Karen says, planting a kiss on the bridge of her dog’s nose. She slips into her robe and grabs Lucy’s leash and collar from the hall closet. They’ve been in the new apartment for over a little over a year, and it’s finally starting to feel like home. It’s a bit smaller than her last place, but it’s closer to Frank’s work, and there are no breed restrictions.

It’s far from perfect, but it’s theirs.

Once outside, Karen walks Lucy over to a small patch of grass. It’s unusually warm for this time of year—most of the snow that blew in over a week ago has melted, and the sky is a bright, cloudless blue. It’s a perfect day to be out and about in the city.

“What’s your dad up to, huh?” she asks Lucy, ruffling her ears. Most of Frank’s letters must be within walking distance of their apartment, because he’d told her to bring their dog along. Karen pulls up a mental map of their neighborhood, trying to determine which locations might be fair game—

She smiles to herself. It’s a welcome change of pace, using her investigative skills for something a bit less heavy than her work. That must have been one of Frank’s goals in setting this up for her. Her stomach churns with familiar anticipation, the thrill of chasing down a lead. At least she knows that something good is waiting for her at the end of this one.

Thirty minutes later, she and Lucy have both eaten breakfast, and she’s changed into comfortable walking clothes. They set off in the direction of the harbor.

The area is just as she remembers it. She rounds a corner and sees the two benches, and she stops for a moment. It feels like a lifetime has passed since the two of them were here—she had just found out that he was alive, and David Lieberman had him scared shitless. The thought makes her smirk. Frank has told her stories from their time spent living out of the bunker, and she knows that he now considers David one of his closest friends. So much has changed.

Lucy is eyeing a few seagulls that are perched near the water, but she comes when Karen gently tugs at her leash. There are a lot of places to hide a letter here, but Karen’s fairly sure she knows where it is. She crouches down, peering beneath the closest bench—

And sure enough, there’s an envelope taped to one of the legs.

Karen’s stomach does a pleasant little flip as she opens it and pulls out the piece of paper within.

Step carefully, the letter reads. And keep the coffee coming.

It takes her a second to piece it together. Step carefully—New York is infamous for its sidewalk grates, but most places in the city have them. That’s not particularly helpful in narrowing down a specific location—but she does know a place that serves endless coffee.

Three blocks later, she and Lucy arrive at Rosie’s Place. The local diner is a five-minute walk from Frank’s work site, and Karen has lost count of how many times they’ve met for lunch here. There’s a large metal grate leading up to the entrance, and Frank is always giving her a hard time about having to navigate it in her pumps. The infinite amount of free coffee refills makes up for that.

For a moment, she pictures another diner. She pictures Frank, bruises smudged below his eyes and the low rumble of his voice.

Karen shakes her head, and the memory dissolves. Now that she’s here, she’s not sure where to start looking. She and Frank have a corner booth they usually try to snag, but that doesn’t seem like the best place to hide a secret letter. There’s no guarantee that someone else wouldn’t find it first. Maybe he left it with one of the waiters? They’re on a first-name basis with a couple of them. It wouldn’t hurt to pop inside to check. Karen glances around, looking for a place to tie Lucy’s leash—

She stops, looking down at her dog. He told her to bring Lucy along for a reason.

Rosie’s has a small outdoor sitting area, used mostly for happy hour when the weather is warmer. Karen makes her way over to it. It’s empty now, but she notices a small water bowl by one of the chairs. Of course—she’d forgotten that the outdoor space is dog-friendly.

Lucy noses the bowl, then tilts her head, tongue lolling out of her mouth in a classic pitbull smile. “What’d you find, huh?” Karen asks, tucking a finger under Lucy’s collar and scratching at the soft patch of fur there. She lifts the water bowl gently, retrieving the envelope that has been tucked under it.

Still think I can rock a hipster beard? Look for a familiar face.

Below these words, there is a sketch of roses in a window.

She has no idea who the familiar face is referring to, but the hipster beard and roses—it’s her old apartment. He’s taking her to all the places that mean something to both of them, pieces of the city that represent the different facets of their relationship. After he came back from the dead that first time, her apartment was where she decided to help him. Even before he pulled out the roses, she knew what she would do. He was okay, he was alive—she would’ve done anything he asked to see him again.

Karen takes the long way there, sticking to main streets. The sun is warm on her skin, and she allows her thoughts to wander. Until now, she hasn’t really stopped to consider where all of this is leading, but her gut is telling her that it’s something big. She doesn’t want to get ahead of herself—she knows that Frank loves her and is committed to her, but she’s honestly never considered the possibility that marriage is something he might want again. Their life together isn’t a replacement for the one he lost, but those wounds run deep.

Karen crosses the street, and the apartment comes into view. The building looks different, maybe because it’s not her home anymore. Lucy sniffs the air, and Karen remembers with a pang that this is where she first found the dog, hungry and cold. It’s where Frank found her too, the night of New Year’s Eve. Karen gazes down at her dog fondly. She isn’t sure exactly how old Lucy is—there’s no way of knowing how long she was out on the streets—but in many ways she is still a puppy, all energy and innocence. Karen’s never been the parental type, but she thinks she’s maybe starting to understand it now. She would do anything to keep Lucy safe.

Dogs aren’t allowed in the building, so Karen knows that the letter can’t be inside, and Frank wouldn’t have left it in her old apartment if there was a new tenant. That must mean that it’s somewhere near the complex itself. She peeks down the alleyway where they both found Lucy. It’s too exposed—there’s nowhere to leave a piece of paper without it either blowing away or being seen by someone else.

Karen eyes the fire escape warily. It does seem like the type of place Frank would leave a secret note, but there’s no way she can climb it with Lucy—

That’s when she spots a poster taped to the side of the building—a poster of Foggy Nelson’s face. It’s from his campaign for District Attorney, as an official candidate this time, not just a write-in. Business at Nelson and Murdock has really taken off, but he’s been talking about making this career change for a while. Foggy is already a kickass lawyer, and Karen can only imagine the good he would do for the city in a position of authority.

She beams at his poster. He’s wearing one of his fancy suits, and he looks so professional—Karen can’t believe he’s the same goofy, shaggy-haired guy who introduced her to Josie’s and spent a night drunkenly wandering the city with her. Now that she’s looking closer, she sees the corner of an envelope sticking out from behind the poster. “Thanks, Fog,” she says, tugging it open gently.

Remember where you said you wanted an after for me? Meet you there.

Karen drags a thumb across the words, her heart painfully full. There was a time when she thought he had chosen the war for good, when she thought that the next time she saw him would be his face on the news, or in an obituary. He deserved more—she knew it, but she couldn’t force him to see it. He had to make that choice for himself.

It wasn’t an easy one. Karen knows how hard it is to live with your pain, tread its waters instead of drowning in them. But they’re both here, making that choice every single day—together.

Lucy barks, eager to keep walking. She looks hopefully up at Karen, the distinctive heart marking over her eye shining in the sunlight.

“Okay, girl,” Karen says. “Let’s go find him.”

.

He’s standing by the railing with his back to her. She takes the opportunity to study him, the familiar slope of his shoulders and the way the thin breeze teases his hair. It’s grown out a bit, curling slightly under his ears.

The bridge looks different in the daylight. It’s still a striking piece of architecture, arcing toward the opposite harbor. Karen lets her eyes shutter, remembering the lights reflecting on the water, the soft press of his lips to her cheek. She thinks she knew even then—what she felt for him went beyond friendship, even if she didn’t have the words to describe it yet.

Lucy pulls at the leash—she must have seen him—and Karen blinks her eyes open. Frank is still looking out over the water, but he turns as they approach.

“Hey,” he says, drawing her in to kiss her on the forehead. “Was wondering when you were gonna show up.”

She elbows him in the ribs. “So I slept in a little later than I meant to. Sue me.”

“I know just the guys for that,” Frank mutters, stooping to give Lucy some attention.

Karen leans back against the railing. “So—I found all of your letters.”

“Not all of them,” Frank says, patting Lucy’s stomach one last time before standing. “You’ve had one with you the whole time.”

Karen frowns, instinctively checking the pockets of her jeans—but Frank couldn’t have known which clothes she’d put on this morning. Her gaze falls to Lucy. When she looks back at Frank, he’s grinning.

“No way,” Karen says. She kneels down, pivoting slightly as Lucy attempts to lick at her chin. “You’ve been holding out on me, huh?”

Her hand goes to Lucy’s collar, where a small heart-shaped locket dangles. She gently eases it open, and a thin piece of rolled-up paper falls out onto the ground. She opens it slowly.

Both hands, remember? Turn around.

For a moment, she forgets how to breathe. Something is taking shape in her chest, something warm and buoyant-bright, and she feels like she might burst if she holds it in any longer.

She turns.

Frank is down on one knee. He’s holding out a ring, a simple band broken by a white rose.

“Yes,” she says, without hesitating.

Frank blinks. His mouth hangs open, as if he’s unsure of how to make it form words.

“Shit, I’m sorry—” Karen swallows a laugh, shaking her head furiously. She clears her throat, attempting to rearrange her expression into something resembling calm. “Were you going to ask me something?”

Frank makes a sound that’s halfway between a grunt and a laugh. “Gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“What?” Karen says. “All I did was turn around like a normal person, and then I was absolutely silent. I said nothing.”

Frank is smiling again, and she thinks it might be the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. He ducks his head, and his eyes are a little wet when he glances up at her again.

“Karen.” His voice catches on the word. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she breathes, and before she can blink, he’s moving. His arms slide around her waist and her hands bracket his face, and then he’s pressing his lips to hers. His mouth is soft and warm, and she doesn’t care that they’re in a very public place surrounded by strangers—none of it is real, nothing exists beyond the feeling of his arms around her, the taste of salt when she parts her lips and kisses him deeper.

Lucy has other ideas. She threads between their legs, wedging them apart slightly as if to say, hey, pay attention to me.

Karen laughs, rubbing her ears. “Yeah, yeah, mom and dad are making it official. It’s very exciting.”

She meets Frank’s gaze. His lashes are rimmed with tears, and it isn’t until he sweeps his thumb across her cheek that she realizes she’s crying, too. He slowly reaches up to grab her left hand, and she watches him slide the ring onto her finger. The white rose catches the light, as if it’s winking at her.

“I love you,” Frank says, brushing his lips against her knuckles. “You know that, yeah?”

Karen tips her forehead to rest against his, pouring everything into that simple touch.

“I was starting to wonder,” she says with a smile, and kisses him again.

fun fact: i actually based this off of my own proposal! it was fun to try and apply the same idea to frank and karen. thanks so much for reading! <3

[lucefrs]

WHAT TIME IS IT? SUMMER TIME! The polaroids are stuffed between the pages of her childhood diary, which she’ll take back to America as fodder for her eventual tell-all she’s planned with Faith over a bottle of red wine sometime or when the apocalypse hits (she can’t remember which date they decided on). The pictures feel more like a revisited past. 

“We have summer students, your room isn't a storage facility. You're very lucky we didn't take these boxes straight to the dumpster.”

When Luce got back to Georgetown, she wasn’t able to enter her dorm room. She went to the porter’s office and was given her belongings, which consisted of five boxes worth of stuff, made heavy by her synths, pedals and guitar. She took her mail and promised that she’d come back for the boxes later. The porter was pissed off that she couldn’t take it now and Luce felt like a berated child. In her stack of mail she found out her credit rating had dropped to an R-2, with a notice of delinquency. She figured it was similar to when she got a warning for torrenting Game of Thrones, but never actually got fined.

“I was on Pluto. I wrote you a letter, but it was too cringy to send. Have you heard of The Magnetic Zeros? Let's listen to them for a bit.”

He always lets her talk first. Even after months of silence. Luce traipses around his high rise apartment and touches everything in sight ; the frames of pictures and the thin film of dust that has settled on the coffee table. Then she says sorry for an absence that wasn't her fault because she needs the money and feels immediately icky for acknowledging that her apology has a motive behind it. She can sense his disappointment radiating like underwater sonar pulses, dulled by the glass of whiskey empty on the side table. A year's tuition down the drain. It's not about the money. Need to go home. It's about the money. He kisses her cheek instead of her neck and writes her a cheque. Luce booked her flight that night.

“Oh Luce. My baby.”

Is what her Pa said over and over again, scooped in his arms at arrivals. She was already crying walking towards them, a visceral happiness so intense that the only other feeling it can be compared to is grief. Luce spends the first week as a tourist, waking up early and watching her parents do menial tasks: like making coffee and checking the weather report on their phones. She takes long walks, and when she doesn't, she waits for her parents to come home like a puppy eagerly waiting to hear the clink of an unlocked door. Family gatherings are planned for the weekends and she goes out with her parents whenever they do. In this time she drinks a lot of beer and no Four Lokos.

"No one uses Facebook anymore Lucie, relationship statuses are obsolete. Would you not have reached out if you knew?"

Weeks pass and waiting for her parents gets tiring. She walks around the house in her pyjama shirt and an old acoustic guitar with a fraying strap hanging across her. She drinks juice from the carton and eats cereal by the handful. She Facetime's everyone on her contact list and it's still not enough to bridge the space from 12-9. On a particularly boring Tuesday afternoon she messages her ex on Facebook and asks if he'd like to catch up and get drinks. He brings his girlfriend and their Yorkshire Terrier, Bozo. Like the clown. He says what he says in reply to a casual jest, it was her fault for saying it. "Always too cool too make it official." His girlfriend's several paces behind picking up Bozo's poop. When she doesn’t have an immediate reply to his retort back, he takes the few seconds of silence to his question as an answer, and his lips curl into a wry smirk. She looks away and takes a drag of her cigarette like she's a girl in a black and white French film.

"...Same old Lucie."

Jack calls her Lucie because he was there when the nickname was created and think it's degrading to call herself that. He thinks he's doing her an act of kindness when he calls her Lucie and thinks he's special for being allowed to do so. She goes home after the split pitcher is finished.

“Anything it is, anything. You can tell me.”

She spends her nights with her mam hanging upside down from the couch. This time though she's curled up like a cat in her lap, and mam's combing through her tangles with her fingers. Through trembling laughter she tries to explain, but it's a high roll on a game of Monopoly where she skips straight to the exact square instead of moving through them. Tells her she just really needs a job, has no money is all. Her mam gets her a job at the grocery store. She catches up with every familiar face to the sound of beeps and closed cash registers. She notices how whole lives are spent in this town, not a place to retire or spend your youth, the whole package. She misses America.

“Wa-sah!”

Scott visits the weekend she goes home to the States. It’s good because their flights are both on Sunday night, but bad because it’s her last weekend here, so her house is teeming with family. She introduces him as her good friend, but it doesn’t ease her parent’s enthusiasm, intent on giving him a proper welcome to Ireland, which for the Frear family includes an early afternoon pub crawl. He takes it like a champ, keeps up with the banter and doesn’t shake her nephew off his leg when he attacks it as soon as they enter the front door. When the night dies down she excuses themselves, wooden stairs creaking under their weight, silent until they’re sat next to each other on the edge of her childhood bed. Luce takes a picture with her phone, so close-up that his face doesn’t fit in the frame. A fit of giggles erupt looking at it, thankfully it doesn’t wake the little ones camped in the living room. She wants to thank him, or apologize, tell him it’s not usually like this and it’s a lot for anyone, but instead when her laughter trickles away she thumbs the hem of his shirt, tugging it upwards. 

“Call us when you land, love you.”

Is what her parents say and is what Marlowe and Atty say too. They're going to be together forever. Scott is dropped off at his gate first, which she prefers because she wouldn’t have wanted him to see her weepy with her parents. She spends the last few weeks of summer in complete bliss, basking in the South Carolina sun. She sticks a magnet with a naked leprechaun on their fridge and tucks a bottle of Irish whiskey away for them. Marlowe can’t drink right now, and Atty doesn’t really drink to begin with, but the bottle is pretty and her folks wouldn’t let her go home without it. She spends her days listening to Marlowe play, streaming on Twitch with Atty and buying baby clothes whenever she goes shopping because they're significantly cheaper than adult clothes and can't resist the temptation. They eat a lot of Taco Bell. She burns through her month and a half wage at the grocery store in the span of days. Luce wonders how that's possible while listening to Greetings From Asbury Park, then gets up and puts the kettle on. 

[collecting-stories]

Ease My Mind - Connor Murphy

A/N: Angsty but happy? 

TW: Mentions of attempted suicide

Help me leave these lonely thoughts behind, when they pull me under and I can feel my sanity start to unwind, darling only you can ease my mind. - Ease My Mind, Ben Platt

\\\

The hospital room was filled with small touches of color, meant to be comforting. The glass rainbow mural that hung on the wall seven floors above the emergency waiting area reflected into his room in ICU, painting the floor in different colours. The vinyl couch that could be rearranged into a bed for a guest was a maroon color and the chairs that were pulled up beside his hospital bed were a navy blue. They empty but hours earlier his mom had been sitting in one.  

So far she was the only one to see him. Larry and Zoe both stayed outside the room, in the waiting area, and Cynthia said it was too hard for them to see him like this but he knew that wasn’t it at all. They were keeping him for observation.  

“Because you tried to kill yourself Connor, do you remember?”  

Of course he did. After the first night his mom sat on the couch while she assumed he was asleep and called everyone in her address book to tell them that Connor had ‘been in an accident’. Bible study, the ladies luncheon, book club, and bridge were all cancelled because of him.  

On the second day there she announced she was going home for a change of clothes. Larry had already left the night before to sleep in his own bed and Zoe had gone with him. His mom stayed so that she could whisper to the nurses about his psyche while she presumed he wasn’t paying attention. She left early in the morning, pressing a kiss to his forehead and asking him to “please just listen to the doctors okay sweetie”. Her change of clothes lasted all day. But 9am that Tuesday morning someone besides hospital staff came into his room.  

Your mom had gotten the call the previous night. You were playing video games with your younger brother when she came in the room to tell you that Connor was in the hospital. An accident, she said, though she confided that Cynthia had told her he tried to kill himself.  

“Your mom said it’d be alright to have visitors,” you said, walking further into the hospital room. “I brought twizzlers and I borrowed Sean’s Nintendo switch.”  

“Hey,” Connor sat up further in bed, a little caught off guard to see you there. He expected his mom, maybe Larry and Zoe eventually, Evan if he ever heard the news and could brave the trip into the city but not you.  

Your mom and Cynthia had been college roommates and best friends. For the entirety of your elementary school existence you had been best friends with Connor. You were at his house constantly, jumping on the trampoline Larry installed, trick or treating at Halloween, having pizza every Friday. When your family moved into the city after your mom got remarried that relationship changed. Soon you were only seeing him once a year at Cynthia’s annual New Years Day open house. Your mom relayed every bad story that was shared with her about Connor and his out of control personality.  

The time he tried to burn all his childhood photos or when he painted his entire bedroom black without his parents knowledge, that time he got into a fight with Larry so bad that his dad punched him, when he destroyed the trampoline. You heard about it all, and some of it you had witnessed. But it was difficult to see that boy, to know that Connor. Because you saw him only once a year and when you did he was sweet. He’d find you in the kitchen and suggest hiding in the basement while the party went on, playing video games and watching tv. He was nice to your little brother and always made an effort to behave on New Years.  

“I’m not gonna fuck shit up so much this year, I’m gonna be better.” Connor always swore.  

Once you had cellphones keeping in touch was a little easier but sometimes Connor got in his own head. One minute you’d be texting and the next you wouldn’t hear from him for days while he decided that everyone was better off without him.  

The thought had briefly crossed your mind that he might not want anyone to see him like this. Larry and Cynthia certainly didn’t want anyone to see him like this. But you had to go, you needed to know he was okay. Or at least that he was still breathing.  

“How’d you get here?”  

“The subway.” You shrugged, “my mom and your mom were supposed to go to lunch today and I figured while they were there I’d come here.”  

“You didn’t have to do that.”  

“I know,” you pulled one of the navy chairs over to the bed and sat down, laying your backpack on the ground. You’d packed it with stuff for Connor and skipped school to come see him. A little outside of your usual character. “I just wanted to see you. My mom told me what happened.”  

“What’d she say?”  

“I think something about your appendix burst.”  

“Yeah.” Connor nodded.  

“Well anyway I brought some stuff,” you said, looking away from him to rummage in your backpack. You felt like you were going to burst out crying if you just looked at him and you weren’t sure if he would be comfortable knowing that you knew what happened.  

Though Connor had made off-hand comments about feeling depressed or angry he never really talked about his emotions with you. He never talked about wanting to end things but you knew he did. Likewise though, you had never broached the subject before because you were never sure what to say. You doubted that Connor would appreciate you interrupting a game of Mario Kart on New Year’s day to talk to him about his feelings. So you just didn’t.  

“Scoot over.”  

“Scoot over? This is my hospital bed,” he pointed out even as you sat beside him on the bed.  

“Don’t start with me Murphy, I skipped school for you.” You teased, smiling at him as you settled the backpack in front of you to pull out the contents.  

-

“Do you remember that time when your hair was just passed your ears and you let me put tiny braids all over it with those little rubber bands that Sean had?” You asked.  

It had progressed into lunch  and you sat there with Connor, the tray table pulled up so he could eat the pancakes he ordered, and you were painting the nails of one hand black. The nail polish you’d bought specially for him though you didn’t say so.  

“Yeah, you took a picture even though I told you not to.” He replied. You were looking down at the hand in your lap but he was watching you.  

“I still have it.” You mentioned, glancing up at him and smiling, “I keep it in my day planner.”  

“I wish you’d trash it.”  

“I love that picture!” You brought his hand up to your face and blew on the polish, “this stuff is supposed to dry matte, it’s not so shiny.”  

Connor only shrugged.  

“Hey, Connor, my mom told me why you’re here, not the dumb appendix story.” You mentioned.  

You had been thinking about it all morning, since you woke up and decided that you were not going to school. You were going to mention it right away, rip the bandaid off the whole thing and dive in the deep end but you chickened out when you saw him.  

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Could I just...we don’t have to but could I just say something before we don’t?”  

“Whatever.” He leaned back against the bed and looked away from you, toward the window and the rainbow reflecting in it. Of all the rooms.  

“I didn’t wanna...I like how easy things are between us and I don’t want to jeopardize that and I don’t want you to feel bad but when my mom told me what happened I was so scared. I just thought, what if something happened and I didn’t get the chance to tell you how much you mean to me. I love you Connor, you are my favorite part of the entire year and I wish we hung out more and every year I swear to myself that we will and I never follow through with it. I always let it slide and I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want you to feel alone and I know I can’t take that from you but I just...when you aren’t sure, I want you to know that I’m here and that you’re always on my mind.” You confided.  

Connor turned his head back toward you, staring openly at the way your skin looked with fresh tears tracked down your cheeks and even fresher ones threatening to fall from your eyes. You had cried when your mom told you that he had tried to commit suicide and you had cried on the way over here and you had cried riding the elevator up to his floor. But you had been trying your hardest not to cry in front of him. He frowned and reached up to brush some of the tears away.  

“Don’t cry.” He pleaded, “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, this is not okay. We’re supposed to be playing video games in your basement on New Year’s day or facetiming while I do homework or sending each other stupid pictures on snapchat. Not this, not sitting here.”  

“I know,” Connor pulled you into his arms, ignoring the nail polish still drying on his hands. He held you against him, his forehead resting against yours, “I know.”

“I love you.”

-

I decided to write this because Dear Evan Hansen is very personal to me. When I was about twelve a family friend killed himself. He was seventeen and he was just the coolest person in my life. I thought he was wonderful. He had a lot of anger issues and mental health problems and not a lot of help dealing with any of it. But he was always so nice to me and always made me feel so important and I kind of wanted to capture that feeling in this writing. There are a lot of things that I wish I could’ve said to him and this is my way of dealing with that. So, hope you like it? 

[lightsburnbrite]

Things We Do for Love: Part 3

(Third part to Such a Thrill and The Devil is in the Details) 

The next morning, Leon left the apartment early using training as an excuse. Instead he swung by Karina’s favorite cafe and got a couple of coffees and chocolate croissants to go. He was able to get the waiter to give out Karina’s room number and he hoped that he’d catch her before she left.

Karina wasn’t asleep, but she had no desire to leave the bed yet. She debated just ignoring the knock at the door but the second one seemed a bit more urgent. Against her better judgement, Karina opened the door when she saw Leon through the door viewer.

“Hello.” Karina looked up at him, her eyeliner and mascara smudged just enough to give her an unintentional smokey eye.

Leon gave a slight nod of acknowledgment and smiled that she was obviously comfortable enough with him to open the door in just a t shirt and underwear. “I need to apologize for Mathea last night. Breakfast?”

“Just for Mathea?” Karina laughed as she stepped aside so he was able to walk through. “You don’t take any ownership in the train wreck of last night?”

Leon waited for Karina to lead the way in. She stopped at a small seating area separate from the bedroom and sat crisscross in an oversized armchair prompting him to sit down opposite of her. “I should have called but I figured you’d say no. Listen, I know I fucked up last night and I should have asked if you’d be ok with Mathea there but I just assumed that he’d be coming with you.”

“Who is he? What makes you think I’m seeing someone?” Karina's tone was strained as she searched Leon’s expression, trying to see if he’d give anything away.

He held his hands up. “Look, you don’t need to be so hostile-”

“Well maybe I don’t like being ambushed, Leon. You show up with Mathea last night,” Karina tilted her head back, reminding herself to unclench her jaw. “She was wearing my wedding dress, and then you keep insinuating that I’m seeing someone. How am I supposed to react to that?”

“I wasn't stalking you, it's just that…nobody knew where you were.” Leon cleared his throat. “Even your brother didn’t know. Sebastian saw a post on facebook that you were tagged in and it said you were his girlfriend. He…has pictures of Elsa on his instagram so I figured it was serious.”

Karina attempted to keep any sort of emotion from coming through but she was infuriated by the idea that he was checking up on her. When Leon only offered a slight shrug, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “We broke up last month but Cos was nice enough to keep Elsa and Ember for me while I'm here.”

“Ember?” Leon sat up straighter now.

Karina retrieved her phone from the bedroom and made a few swipes before handing it to Leon. There he saw the man whom he had become all too familiar with laying on a bed with Elsa sprawled out next to him and a similar tricolored pup laying on his chest.

“I thought Elsa could use a friend.” Leon glanced up slightly and Karina shrugged. “You can go through my phone if you want, I don’t care.”

He hesitated at first but soon scrolled through and saw more pictures of Cosmo and the dogs but also pictures of the two of them. Suddenly it hit Leon that the pictures of the two of them were out an about, at different events and parties, even professional baseball games. Things that they never did together. He remembered back when Karina complained about it and Leon basically shrugged it off.

“I’m sorry.” Leon shook his head and handed her phone back. “I was just so worried when no one had heard anything from you. Part of me just wanted to know that you were safe.”

She gave a slight smile, she couldn’t begrudge him his curiosity knowing it stemmed from concern. “I’m fine, Leon, ok? It’s fine.”

“Just fine? I mean, you’ve practically created a whole new life and you’re only fine?” His voice raised slightly, concern ever present.

Pressing her lips together, Karina took a sip of her coffee. “I needed to make a whole new life, there was nothing left for me here.”

“I was here.” Leon locked eyes with her. “I was here but you left me.”

She held his gaze for a moment before a look of skepticism took over. "Why do you think I left, Leon?"

"I…" He hesitated for a moment, scratching the back of his head. "I still don't know."

“How would we have worked through you wanting kids when I don't?" She managed to keep her composure despite the tears that were collecting on her cheeks. "I still think that maybe I should have just given in because then maybe things could have been normal but I kept imagining me hating this innocent kid and I couldn't live with that. My marriage was over, my family disowned me. There was nothing left for me here except pain.”

Leon looked genuinely hurt by Karina’s emphasis on her last sentence so she decided to elaborate her answer. “I enjoy my job, I have a nice little house, and I spend my time with my dogs. Given everything that has happened, I’m pretty content with my life right now.”

"Were you in love with him?" His voice was low, almost a whisper, as if he was afraid of what Karina's answer might be.

Karina rolled her eyes. "I won't answer that, Leon."

With a heavy sigh, Leon closed his eyes and nodded. "Do you regret it?"

"Regret what?" Karina frowned, confused by his question. "Getting married?"

He only offered a shrug at first. "Everything between us."

Tears continued to stream down her cheeks as Karina shook her head. "You've helped me through some of the lowest points in my life and I will be forever grateful for that. I loved being married to you."

"Would we still be married if I never said anything about kids?" Leon took his thumb and wiped her cheeks before letting his hand fall back down.

Karina adamantly shook her head now. "Don't do this to yourself."

"No, be honest with me." He took hold of her hands and gave a slight squeeze. "I want to know."

She stayed silent for a while before speaking. "I don't think I made a very good wife for you."

"Maus, please just answer my question." Leon's tone became more pleading, partly because he knew what she was going to say.

With the slightest nod, Karina leaned forward and rested her head against his chest.

"We could run away." He rested one hand on the back of Karina's neck while wrapping his free arm around her shoulders. "Just start over."

Karina stepped back and shook her head. "That's never going to happen. I love you, Leon and I care about you tremendously, but you have to realize we can never go back from here."

"Well, I mean not actually run away," Leon let out a nervous laugh before the smile fell from his face. "Why not?"

Covering her face with her hands, Karina let out a heavy sigh. "Where do you want me to start? I will always be wondering if I'm preventing you from being happy, the first thing you did was to turn to Mathea so how am I to be convinced that you will ever be finished with her, and if all that wasn't enough, your family hates me because I left you."

He shook his head and started to protest. "That's not true."

"Really?" Karina let a little smirk lay on her lips, a way of giving him permission to be truthful.

"I mean," Leon hesitated again. "It's not that-"

Karina cut him off by giving him the slightest of kisses before sitting back down and sitting criss cross in her chair. "It's ok, Leon, really. It is what it is."

Leon slumped back down in his chair but frowned. "I don't get it, you say you love me but you're so willing to let go."

"It's because I do love you." She wiped her eyes again. "I want you to be happy, even if that means we're not together. We just want different things from life and as shitty as it seems right now, sometimes that happens."

Covering his eyes with the heels of his palms, Leon stayed silent for a moment. "What if I just want you back? What if want you more than I want anything else?"

Up until now, it seemed like Karina had an answer for everything. Her brow knitted, fresh tears came fast.

Leon stood, a move which prompted Karina to do the same, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling Karina tightly against his chest. "I've been miserable with out you. I don't care what your answer is, I just need to let you know."

Karina didn't respond. Instead, she simply wrapped her arms around his neck and returned his embrace. Finally, she stepped back. "I think you should probably go…before we do something that we'd regret."

"I regret agreeing to separate with out counseling or something, I regret not fighting for you to stay." Leon interrupted, shaking his head.

She sighed as she wiped her face again. "It wouldn't be fair to Mathea…go home, go on with your life."

Leon frowned. "Maus, you're not listening to me."

"If you still feel this way after a few months then…we'll talk." Karina couldn't say it, she had her doubts that Leon would still want her. Instead, Leon simply smiled broadly.

Leon was curious to see how their relationship would progress once Karina returned to Toronto. At first, he was slightly cautious in his advances, sending her memes and the occasional selfie. When Karina started texting him spontaneously, Leon knew things were becoming more favorable for their future together.

Although Leon resisted sending Karina a gift on the date of their anniversary, when her birthday came around, he knew exactly what he wanted to do.

As soon as he got the delivery notification, Leon waited for the call.

He smiled broadly as he answered. "Hey Maus."

"You didn't need to send me flowers." There wasn't a single bit of admonishment in her tone. Instead, he could tell she was smiling as well.

He laughed at this. "I love how you think I'm not going to send you flowers on your birthday."

"Thank you." There was a little sigh on her end. "They're beautiful. The ring too."

It wasn't as though Leon was looking, but as soon as he saw the ring, a cushion cut black onyx surrounded by bezel set diamonds and a platinum band, he thought of Karina. "I'm glad you like it." He grinned again but had no intentions of letting Karina know that. "I've gotta go now Maus, but I love you."

"Leon," Karina started to chastise him but gave up. After a long pause, she sighed again. "I love you too."

Leon continued to keep an eye on the social media feeds of AGO, sometimes he'd get lucky and there would be a feature involving Karina. This morning, there was a picture of Karina and three others standing around a large painting. He smirked at how everyone was dressed in business casual attire and then there was Karina in her black mini dress and studded leather jacket. He felt a pang as he looked her over, he was still very much in love with her and very much attracted to her.

As Leon read the caption, his smile grew. "…AGO would like to thank Karina Müller for her time as acting Associate Curator of European Art. We will miss her as she returns to the Alte Pinakothek in Munich…"

That was it. Karina was coming home.

Leon spent the rest of the day on cloud nine. His training went well and he felt generally untouchable. He checked his phone before he left the parking lot and noticed a text from Karina asking him to call her if he was able to. There was no question as to if he was going to or not.

"Leon?"

"Hey, Maus. What's up?"

Her initial hesitation made Leon hold hid breath.

"I…um, I have a favor to ask of you. I know it's asking a lot so feel free to say no. I mean, it's ok if-"

"Babe." He didn't like cutting her off but he had the feeling that she would have gone on for a bit longer if he hadn't. "What do you need?"

"I'm going back to work at the museum. Most of the time I'll be working from home but I'll go in once or twice a week. Nena asked me to come in on Wednesday and I didn't expect to be going in that soon-"

"Come stay with me."

Again, she hesitated. "Are you sure? I'd have the dogs with me. Would Mathea even be ok with that? I know it's a huge boundary."

"I broke up with Mathea as soon as I left your hotel room. I want you, and the dogs, to come and stay with me as long as you need to."

"I can sleep on the couch if the guest room isn't open." Karina had a hint of disbelief in her voice as if she expected there to be some wavering on Leon's part.

"Or you can sleep in my bed." He really wanted to add that she could sleep in his bed with him but Leon didn't want to push his luck. "I'll take the couch."

He heard Karina let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Leon. I owe you."

"We can discuss that once you get here. Call me when you land and I'll come pick you up."

As soon as he got home, Leon got to work in making things ready for Karina's visit. He cleared some space in the closet and made sure there was an extra set of towels in the en suite bathroom before making a list of some things he wanted to get in the shops. He was in the middle of checking to see if there was a jar of Nutella in the cupboard when Sebastian sent him a message in the group chat about going out tomorrow night. His simple reply of can't. busy elicited some smart ass retorts. Leon thought about explaining that Karina was coming home but Marius was included in the chat and it was still up in the air how Marius would react.

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 3

AO3

~*~Sebastian~*~

I straightened my clothes when I got out of the SUV. I realize my first impression is already shot to hell, but I'm attempting to make up some ground. In front of her door I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths before knocking. I tried to re-frame my sudden nervousness as excitement. When she opened the door two things happened. My mouth started to water and my jeans shrank at least one size.

I went with it. "You look beautiful." I kept my voice soft and smiled.

The peach shirt and white jacket set off her eyes and slightly tanned skin. I liked the slight swell of her breasts showing out the top of her shirt. Just sexy enough. I mean, I have nothing against naked breasts, rather like them, but this was a good first date look. Believe it or not, there is such a thing as too much. And there's time and place for more. This wasn't it.

Emma smiled and put her hand on my bicep, "Thank you. You clean up nicely."

I laughed, "I didn't really pack for a dinner date."

"I thought you might be limited, so I went with jeans."

My head jerked a little in surprise. "That's really nice. Thank you." I had to stop myself from staring. I'm not sure what I'm more amazed by: her kindness or the ease with which she speaks about her thought process. She says it like it's no big deal, but it is. Or maybe I'm more jaded than I thought. I snapped myself out of my thoughts, "Ready to go?" She nodded and I put my hand on her lower back, leading her to the vehicle.

I started backing out and remembered I didn't know where we were going. I put on the brake, rested my hands on the steering wheel, and looked over, "Which way? Where we going?"

"I had two ideas. In town there's a pub. Typical pub food. Bar on one side. Restaurant on the other. Probably live music, but its not loud on the restaurant side. Or about five miles north there's a place on the river with outdoor tables. They specialize in ribs and barbecue, but have everything from steak to seafood."

"Outside on the river sounds good. Nice night for it." I pointed at the navigation screen. "You put it in. Then we can talk without getting lost."

She laughed, "Are you sure we haven't met before? I'd completely get talking and forget to tell you where to turn."

"I think I'd remember." I smiled and watched her press the buttons. Her nails where longer than her fingertips. Long enough to feel, but not so long as to do damage. I should probably stop thinking like that or my my pants are going to shrink more.

"How is the moving going?"

"Good. They hired movers for the actual move. I'm here to shift boxes to other rooms, hook up electronics, and hang things. I think mom used the move as an excuse to get me to visit. When my step-dad retired they moved upstate. Now they're closer again, so it'll be easier."

"Are you an only child?"

"I am. Mom and I left Romania when I was eight then moved to New York when I was twelve." I didn't know if she knew my history or not. It was very vain to think she'd googled and read interviews. I wasn't sure if she was a fan. I liked how my job wasn't part of the conversation. That couldn’t last, but it was nice for now. "What about you?"

“I have an identical twin. Amelia.”

I don't think she was done talking, but I burst in. “That's so cool. Emiliana and Amelia. Did you switch around to fuck with teachers and boyfriends?”

An evil grin crossed her face. “All the time. Our parents mostly. They could never tell us apart. They tell this story about how my dad was so sleep deprived that he forgot to put on our color coded booties and they're not one hundred percent sure which one we really are.”

“Oh fuck! Priceless.”

“Once we hit our junior year Amy cut her hair and started dying it red. If we wanted to pull anything off we had to pull our hair up and shove on a hat. She's got a daughter now and since we're identical twins Katie is genetically my daughter too.”

My mouth dropped open, "I'd never thought of that." I raised my eyebrows, "Never been out with a mom before."

"First time for everything."

We laughed and conversation was easy the rest of the short drive. She pointed out the river walk and restaurant as we drove across the bridge. I was thinking an after dinner stroll was a good idea.

It was early enough that getting a table by the water wasn't a problem. Either the time or the hostess recognized me. She sat us in the corner of the deck with water on both sides. It was a beautiful view. My date and the scenery. Date was better. Before the hostess left she looked at me, "I'll send your server right over, Mr. Stan."

I guess that answers that.

There was a drink menu on the table. I picked it up and looked at Emma, "Do you drink?" She nodded and I handed her the menu. "A beer on the water sounds good."

The server showed up, took our drink orders, and by the time she brought our beers we were ready to order. There was a lull in conversation between discussing the menu and whatever was going to come next. We both took a drink to fill the space. I pulled at the label on my bottle nervously. "What do you for a living?" I knew I was opening the door for the same question, but it was the next logical topic.

"I teach first grade."

I never had a teacher who looked like her. "Why first?" I liked finding out why people made the choices they did.

"I like teaching the little people to read. Kindergartners are too squirrelly. There's a lot of time just teaching them how to be in school. Lots of crying in Kindergarten. Fifth graders are starting to be smart asses."

I nearly spit my beer across the table.

She laughed and handed me a napkin from the dispenser on the table, "They are! The hormones are starting to kick in. No thank you. Third and fourth are assessment years and it's all about getting them ready. Second is this weird hybrid where you're reteaching what they missed in first and getting their basic skills ready for third." She took a drink and continued. "First graders are perfect. They get so excited when they can put sounds together to make words and then read the words in a book. Or when they figure out three plus two is the same as counting three stars and two stars, figuring out the algorithm. I love teaching them to subitize. That’s knowing how many things there are without counting them. We play songs and games. Their little faces light up and they're so proud of themselves. The ones who struggle. It's hard to figure out how to help them and keep their confidence up. They break my heart." She put her hand over hers.

Her love of what she did was obvious. I couldn't remember talking to a teacher after I left school. My teachers just tortured me with homework, papers, projects, and group work. I shook my head, "Until right this second I had never thought of a teacher being excited about their students learning."

"You either had shitty teachers or hated school."

"Both." I looked up, searching my memory. "Leaving Romania was good, but I didn't speak anything but Romanian. I was a good student, but when we moved to Vienna I had to start over. I couldn't communicate. I couldn't read. It was hard. Mom threw a fit because my teachers used the language issue to not push me. She wasn’t having it. Then we moved here and it was starting over again. I was in that awkward stage, had at least three chins, didn't have any friends, and could barely speak English."

She cringed, "I don’t like your teachers. You have to work harder. There's always kids with stories. Whether they’re new, or a parent has died, or they don't speak English, or they've been abused, or they’re just different. You have to work harder to find a way to connect with them and be different for them. You have to have the relationship to help them learn. I'm not going to lie, sometimes you don't like a kid, but that's the job. You're the adult. Figure out how to make it work."

"Yeah, I didn't have teachers like you. It got better. Puberty helped and so did partying." I smirked around my beer bottle as I drank. "My teachers didn't look like you either. Would have paid more attention if they had. Well, maybe not paid attention, but enjoyed class more."

Her shoulders raised a little and one side of her mouth curled up, "Want me to teach you to read or something, Seb?"

"Now there's a loaded question." She’s still figuring out what to call me. Fuck.  I might be sad when she figures it out and sticks to one name.

Luckily or unluckily our appetizers arrived. The flirting was fun, but we’re early into dinner. Lots of time for flirting. Good to mix it up.

We'd ordered a sampler. I picked up one of the fried pickles, "There's a place in Atlanta where these are called frickle pickles."

"I grew up in Alpharetta."

"Did you? I've spent a lot of time in Atlanta." I kept going without even thinking. "The Marvel movies filmed there and most of Falcon and the Winter Soldier will be filmed there." I stopped with a pickle about to my mouth. "Umm."

"There's the elephant in the room." Emma popped a french fry covered in cheese and bacon in her mouth.

I chewed my pickle slowly to buy a little time. What for I don't know. It's awkward. I wiped off my hands and finished my beer. "I was enjoying ignoring the elephant." I leaned forward onto the table. "I liked just being a guy on a date."

"You still are." The look on her face was showed she was amused.

I liked that she wasn’t taking the topic seriously. I'm pissed I brought it up. We were doing fine getting to know each other without the complications of what I do. No one explains that part to you in acting school. You just learn about the craft, business, and what not to do an audition. They don't teach you about someone posting a picture of you laying shirtless in the park. You're doing what everyone else is doing, but if you were anyone else no one would care about you laying in the park getting some sun. This is why actors, and models, and sports stars date other actors, and models, and sports stars. All of those things which become a normal part of your life are normal for them too. It's not normal to other people. And until I mentioned filming in Atlanta I was having a damn fine time being a guy helping his parents move.

I want to fucking scream.

I drummed my fingers beside the plate. "I liked being the homeless guy you met in the baking aisle."

She frowned and put her hand over mine, "I didn't think you were homeless. There's a rehab facility up the road. I thought you were an addict stopping for chocolate before checking in. To help with the withdrawal."

I threw my head back and laughed hard. "Even better!" I turned my hand over, holding her fingers, and rubbing my thumb over her soft skin. "Can I go back to being that guy?"

“You're still the sweet guy running errands for his mom. The one I waited for at the check out. Before I knew his name or recognized him."

My eyes were wide and I was doing that thing I do where I'm licking my lips and playing with my tongue. That can mean lots of things. Right now is intrigued with a side of slightly nervous.

"It's going to be hard to get to know you if you don't tell me about your friends and what you do with your downtime."

She had a good point. I wasn't sure what my plan had been. Her talking about herself all night wasn't going to work. "I can do that. Talk about my friends."

Things have gotten more complicated. Not for the reason I expected. We've pretty much worked around the how do I be an ordinary man with a not so ordinary job problem. Now the problem is I'm holding her hand. It's soft and warm and I don't want to let go. I want to stay touching her. I can not figure out how we're going to eat.

[shawnpetermuffins]

Pictured with You (iv.)

A/n: I got super excited writing this let me just tell you.

Summary: Shawn gets a little too excited after a show and Andrew has to pull him aside before things go too far

Warnings: none

Word count: 1.9k a little shorter than the last 2 sorry

***

This show is insane! The energy of the arena is almost tangible, it's so amazing. I've never felt so at peace while at the same time so off the walls. If I knew I wouldn't break anything, I would probably jump off stage and into the crowd, or maybe do a backflip. But we all know I physically can't do that. And after what happened last time I jumped off a stage, I'd like to refrain from becoming a meme again.

And y/n is definitely feeling it too, because every time I throw a glance her way, she's smiling, even when she's holding the camera up to her face, snapping pictures of me and then the crowd too. I'm grateful that she does that, it's always fun to look back on when I'm on break, missing the tour life. I asked her one night, early on during tour, why she does that.

"I did yearbook in high school. My teacher was all about candids and reactions. Especially during games and stuff, she wanted to have crowd reactions. I think I just found a special kind of appreciation for them. And now it's just something I always get; it's second nature. She's really the reason I fell so in love with photography."

I thought it was cute that she started doing what she does because of her yearbook teacher. The idea of it just fills me with happiness, because she's told me before how much she struggled emotionally in school and it makes my heart happy to know that she found her escape.

And I can hardly take my eyes off her during my - what the fans love to call - emotionally raw performance of Why. But if she noticed, she doesn't show it. She's in work mode, and I should be too. But I mean every word spilling from my lips.

We want each other, no one will break first.

I wish that I could tell you that you're all that I want.

The post show adrenaline is one I wish I could have contained. But I'm still bouncing around to release what's still left in me while we all gather in the green room. The band is buzzing, talking about how great Zubin's solo was or how Mike absolutely killed it with the intro. But I'm not talking. My eyes are focused on the door. Brian and Cez walk in and clap my shoulders.

"Bro, that was amazing! You fucking killed it out there!" Brian squeezes my shoulders and I manage to smile widely at him.

"Thanks, man. It was… better than any show I've ever done." But I don't say anything after that because I'm waiting for y/n. Ready to engulf her in my sweaty embrace that she claims she hates, but I know she secretly loves. But she's taking so long to get back here. She's usually one of the first because she fully follows me to get more photos. But I'm looking around and the two people missing are her… and Connor.

I know I shouldn't think anything of it because she's not mine - she's her own person and she can do whatever she wants. But my mind still betrays me thinking of all the things that she and Connor could have done before this tour - what they still could be doing. And I think that's why I do what I do when she finally enters the room, our friend right behind her.

She smiles when she sees me and instead of just going to wrap my arms around her in the most innocent hug that I could possibly give, because I'm aware for everyone (especially Andrew and Cez) watching our every move, I pick her up and spin her around.

She lets out a surprised squeal, but her arms still enclose around me, her head buried into my neck, covering up her giggles that make me weak. "Well hello to you, too, rockstar. What was that?" She asks when I set her back down, but I don't answer.

I push a strand of hair out of her eyes and hold on to either side of her face. I don't give myself a chance to second guess my actions because within a second my lips are on hers and I'm pulling her closer to my body. She doesn't react at first, but then she's kissing me back and I can feel how awkward it is for her because she's still holding her camera in the hand that's reaching for my sweat glistening bicep. Not to mention everyone's eyes are no doubt on us now, as if they weren't already before.

Neither of us want to pull away and I'm teasing her bottom lip with my tongue when I'm wanked back by the collar of my tank top. Andrew doesn't stop pulling until we're in the dressing room. "What the hell was that?" He asks, slamming the door behind us.

But I'm too focused on the way she felt against me, how soft she was. I'm smiling like an idiot in the mirror, my fingertips tracing my mouth, red and swollen from her lips. "Shawn!"

I, at last, look at him, my smile fading. "What?"

"You said there was nothing going on. You said that nothing would go on. I trusted your judgement on hiring another friend because Brian has worked out so well. But this is unacceptable! You can't be with y/n, she works for you!"

"I'm not with her, Andrew! It was -"

"It was what, Shawn? Because that wasn't a friendly kiss. You two have been flirting like crazy for months. You think I don't know about what happens on the bus? Or about your late night milkshake dates? I saw her wearing your hoodie. This is more than just a friendship, and you know I'm right."

"Don't use my own lyrics against me! I know, what I'm doing, Andrew. Just let it go."

"I can't just 'let it go.' This compromises the entire aspect of tour."

"How?" I throw my hands up, "How does it affect you in any way? It's not your love life!"

"You promised me when we hired her that nothing was going to happen. Do you remember that? We were in my office and before I could even ask you if you had feelings for her you said that nothing was going to happen. Remember?" He pushes his glasses up and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Well now we're three months in you're kissing her in front of everyone! This wasn't just a private thing that happened one night in a hotel room that you can just brush under the rug like nothing happened. You did this in front of the entire team!"

"Okay! I get it!" I run my hands roughly through my hair, "I messed up! Is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry that it happened in front of you, but I'm not sorry I kissed her."

"Shawn."

"I'm not. I wanted to. And if you weren't yelling at me right now, I would kiss her again and again and again." I say, a defiant smirk playing at the corners of my mouth.

He let out a deep breath, "Okay, listen. I understand that it's your life and you can do what you want with it. But let me make myself clear. She works for you. That's what she's here to do. She's not here to work you. But you want to hook up? Fine, hook up. But when this ultimately gets too messy - because you know it will - Don't come to me begging for a new photographer. She's gonna stay and it's going to be the most unpleasant remainder of tour ever. You got that?"

"What happened to 'we don't want to lose another photographer'? Knowing that we won't get rid of her if this happens only makes me want her that much more."

"Jesus Christ." He shakes his head. "You're twenty-two, Shawn. Okay? Think about this. I know being a pop star at a young age kind of cut you off from going and hoeing around. But at this point in the game, you need to decide if you want her just because she's here and it's easy. Or if you want her because you genuinely think your relationship could go somewhere. We've worked so hard on your image and for seven years of work to go down the drain because you can't keep it in your pants? I won't have that. The label won't have that. But you know the second something happens with y/n, the fans will talk. The media will get a hold of it. It'll be everywhere in just days and you won't even have muttered a word about it." He claps my shoulder. "You might be used to them watching your every move, but you're bringing another person into the spotlight, who very clearly loves being behind it. So think about that. Hook up, don't hook up. That's up to you. But do something that's going to benefit both of you. Because I'd hate to see her get hurt."

"What about me?"

Andrew scoffs with a sad smile on his face, "You're the one doing the hurting."

---

I may or may not have been avoiding having to spend too much time alone with y/n this past week. Neither of us have said a word about the kiss, not that I expected her to bring it up anyway.

But just because I haven't been around her, doesn't mean I haven't been watching her. (And no, I don't mean this in a creepy way. I just mean I pay attention. I want to make sure she's doing okay.) She's isolated herself, so it seems. I haven't seen her around Connor as much either, and while it makes me happy to see her finally create some distance from him, I know that the cause of the distance is me and that hurts a little. But what hurts even more is that this morning when I was going through my suitcase to find something to wear, I found that hoodie I let her wear when we got our milkshakes. I hold it up to my nose and sigh loudly; it smells like her - clean with just slightest hint of sweet, vanilla definitely.

My phone buzzes from the bed and I shuffle over to it, still only in my boxers.

Drinks at a bar up the street. You down???

I read over Brian's text three times before responding.

Who's going?

The reply is almost immediate.

Almost everyone. Andrew and Cez are out. Already in bed. Bring y/n?

The thought sends a shiver down my spine. I don't know if she want to talk to me or not, but I'm pulling clothes on as fast as I can. Black jeans - of course - the hoodie I just threw on the bed. And a denim jacket over that.

Give me ten minutes. We'll meet you in the lobby.

I'm rocking back and forth outside her room. With a final deep breath, I knock on the door, my eyes closed. I'm not waiting more than ten seconds before she comes into view, still in her jeans from earlier, but now an old t-shirt swallows her frame. Looking just as beautiful now as she does every time I see her.

"Shawn, what are - what are you doing here?" Her arms cross over her middle, shielding herself, no doubt.

"We're going out for drinks. You coming?"

***

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