#and the best part is i made all of it myself so basically!!!!!
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caseuoiseau · 20 hours ago
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Please allow me to jump in with a 4th point, because I learned a lot of different fiber arts and craft stuff as a kid, and when you're a kid you tend not to care as much about your lumpy first project because every first thing you've ever done to date has been lumpy, and you tend to lack a general idea of what failure is and focus on the "Yey-I-did-it!"
But the first craft I tried as an adult was spinning, which had the triple threat horrors of being:
a) ...thoroughly unlike any other fiber craft I had ever done, despite being integral to each one (sewing, knitting, crochet--all require fiber to be spun before anything else can be done).
b) ...the first skill I had to pay my own hard-earned, fresh-out-of-college pennies to learn, and
c) ...another one of those things like playing guitar where everyone else before me had decided that the difficult part to be managed by your dominant hand was actually the complete opposite of what I thought.
So my one or two private lessons didn't amount to anything remotely usable, until a few years later when some big-name blogger started posting her spinning. And I got pissed off because I took one look at it and I thought to myself "That's barely better than mine was, and she's getting all these accolades from her followers??? I bet I could spin yarn like that with my shitty wooden-toy-wheel spindle." And man oh man didni sit down and spin.
Now, I didn't start writing this story to tell you that Spite Will Fuel You To Perfection, so don't get ahead of me. Because my fiber had been compacted over the years and I was over-twisting it and I didn't technically understand that "single ply" doesn't actually work with handspun, and I wound up making some pretty wretched curly rope. Totally unusable. But it was the age of LJ, and I nevertheless showed my craft friends my awful attempt so they could have a good laugh at it, and that's where I got the actual best advice I've received as an adult learning a craft.
My friends who spin simply told me to save it. Hold on to that yarn-that's-barely-yarn, put it in a drawer somewhere and just...check in on it from time to time. Because every time you spin, you get a little bit better at it, and it really, really helps soothe your mind to take a look at that first project when you think you haven't improved.
And my next yarn--arguably a bulky two-ply from some high-micron Shetland, still iloverspun and the texture of rope, but definitely more yarnlike. The next was a very uneven two-ply made by plying merino pencil roving back on itself. Overspun in places, but much more reasonable as handspun--if I'd told someone it was supposed to look like that with a sufficiently confident tone, they would have bought it. That was the first handspum that actually became something:
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A little tea cozy that I had to alter pretty spectacularly, since I had only spun about 90 yards out of the 50g I had.
And so it goes, each project getting a little bit better than the last, and noticeably better than the first. I either threw out that yarn or I have it packed away in the attic somewhere, but I used to bring that out at the end of my first night of the drop spindle basics class I used to teach. This is what I made first. These are the next three skeins I made. And here's my most recent.
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It's a hell of a way to get people to think more fondly about the kitchen twine they think they've been fighting with for the last two hours.
So, to end with the advice I used to give my first-time knitting class: this isn't like being at work. You aren't expected to be an expert in something you learned 5 minutes ago. You have my permission to suck at this.
I hope all new fiber artists know that the "slightly misshapen" object they made that they're stressed about not looking good:
1. Happens to every fiber artist always, you're too zoomed in to its every detail because you're the one who made it and most people would think it looks normal, or at least much less misshapen than you do, stand 20ft away from it and look at it and then see how you feel (true about all art tbh)
2. Gets better and more uniform each time you do anything
and the *very most important*:
3. Can be made Significantly Less Misshapen by just grabbing the fabric and stretching it in a few directions
I keep helping new fiber artists who are like "but my thing looks so bad :(((" by like, taking their object and stretching it sideways and horizontal, and handing it back, and they're like "????? Magic?????" bc it looks perfect.
Trust the process. Trust the stretchy process
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shawsimmer · 8 hours ago
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hi! do you have any tips on how to make teenagers look like actual teenagers? venus looks so good!
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hi!! so i don't use the preteen mod, but i do use the shortest height preset from this set by luumiasims. so far there really isn't a huge animation issue because her friends are using the same preset and other animations with adults/kids (like hugging) don't look that bad. however, i'm noticing that there are some clipping issues when trying to pose her, though. i hate how teens are the same height as adults and i really wanted to play out the preteen/early teen life stage with the girls. other than the height preset, i think i just made her eyes bigger and cheeks fuller. i think adding blush and braces also make her look younger. i try to use hairstyles and accessories that look "younger", but tbh i'm having a hard time finding clothes for her atm. here's a photo to show what the shortest height preset looks like standing next to an adult and a child. i hope this was helpful!
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more asks under the cut!!
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byeee this is so funny. i forget i never really posted the beginning parts of this save so not many know the lore of these three. oh god, i'm gonna yap for a bit. short story of their relationship is eva & kato got together in their early 20s and were going to have a son named saturn, but sadly eva had pregnancy complications and they lost the baby. unfortunately, it made things really difficult in their relationship and they decided to break up. during their time apart, eva meets judah and falls in love, but she ends up cheating on him multiple times with kato (even the night before she got married to judah ) and they literally wouldn't stay away from each other. years later after both girls were born, she confesses to judah and they take time apart. i know what you are probably thinking, how tf does this end in the big happy family we have now? eva basically made it known that kato is her soulmate and she could never really be done with him. they would have never broken up if not for the loss of their son, but she was also so in love with judah and the family they had created together. she proposed the throuple idea (lmao the audacity) and both kato and judah were veryyyy hesitant, but ultimately, they both loved her so much that they decided being with her was worth it. at first, they decided to just move in together and kept their relationships with eva separate. ngl it was such a weird and tense time in my game and they would constantly get jealous/upset with each other. i ended up using a mod allowing more than one partner and things settled down. after some time living together the guys realized they actually fw each other and they were lowkey bestiess. they have been together #challengers style a few times, but they usually tend to be romantic with eva separately. i know it's a weird situation, but now i'm happy with how things turned out. no one holds any ill feelings towards each other and all three of them just really enjoy doing life together and parenting the girls the best they can. there's soo much more to it, but i tried to keep it as short as i could lol.
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totally!! you don't have to credit me, but i would like to seee
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hmm i'm not really sure. i normally label my sims as maxis-mix. maybe more alpha? i think i prefer alpha skin details and clothes over mm. my build/buy cc is a good mix. it's nice not having to force myself into one style
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ty :)) i don't really play legacy challenges. having rules sometimes ruins the gameplay for me, though i do think they are super useful when it comes to using/playing with certain features of packs that i wouldn't mess with otherwise. i tried nsb 2.0, but i'm still on gen one lmao. sorry i don't really have any to recommend.
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hi!! it's actually really easy if you have sims4studio and a photo editing software. i use photoshop. first i find either a painting or photo frame that i like, then i export the diffuse map in s4s. i take the png file and basically paste my photos on top of whatever was in the frame (in photoshop) and then i import it back into s4s & save. if you want an in-depth tutorial i could definitely make one, but there are also a lot of great ones here on tumblr and youtube.
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had to ask my bf about this lol. i have 0 idea what any of this means:
cpu: amd ryzen 5 3600, ram: 16gb ddr4, gpu: rtx 3060, 1tb m.2 nvme ssd (x2), motherboard: asus prime b550-plus, 650w power supply
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i think i've had this account since 2018, but i didn't start to really use it until around 2022. i was suuuuper involved in the simsta community at the time. i was always kind of intimidated by tumblr (and the people here) and didn't really know how to use it. now that just seems funny.
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well, first i think i should mention that i absolutely do get bored and experience burn out. sometimes i don't touch the game for months. i feel like this is common and i know a lot of my friends experience it too, so don't feel bad about it.
not sure how great my cas advice is considering i feel like i make the same sim over and over, but one thing that helps me keep things fresh is using cc, presets, and aesthetics that i don't normally use. i find myself using the same skin details a lot and things can get boring. use that hair that you never touch, try out different aesthetics, mix and match different skin details together, utilize different sliders, pick a fun hair color, try different makeup styles!
when it comes to keeping gameplay interesting, my advice is to try not to micromanage everything. i knowww it can be difficult, especially if you have a certain storyline in your head, but i feel like if you control every little thing, it's easy to lose steam and things can get boring or unenjoyable fast. it's really fun to let your sims tell their own story and it keeps you guessing what will happen next, especially when they decide to do things you wouldn't normally choose for them. for example, when eva had her pregnancy complications it took everything in me not to cheat it away, but some of my sims wouldn't even have been born had i not let things play out. another example is when she decided to be unfaithful. it's not something i'd normally want my sims to do, but it created a whole different story that has been so interesting to play. also let your sims have flaws! not everyone is a saint. let them be mean, let them fail, and let them develop their own personalities as you play. i pay attention to their whims and choose to do the things they want. when my sims age up, i like to use the randomizer on their traits and pretend it's fate. now this isn't to say i don't have some storylines or things that i'd like them to do planned out, i just wouldn't recommend planning their entire life out all at once, you know? but this is what keeps things interesting for me, it may not be for everyone :)
as for the right time to take screenshots, it depends on your personal preference and what you want photographed. i personally take screenshots of my sims doing everything so much that i feel like a proud parent. every once in a while, i go through my screenshot folder from the beginning of my save and watch everything back like a movie :'). when it comes to actually posing my sims for a screenshot, i like to keep it to a minimum because setting everything up can sometimes take me out of gameplay mode lol. i really only pose them when i want to take photos to decorate their home or if there's a pose i really want to use to tell a story.
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hi!! this is so nice :')) thank you!
i don't really have anything specific when it comes to posting on tumblr, other than using hashtags that help others see your posts. i don't care about numbers or anything like that. i post whenever i want, sometimes multiple times a day and sometimes once a month. i feel like as long as you are posting what you love, the right audience/community will find you. definitely interact with people in the community! there's so many creative people here that inspire me all the time. if you have specific questions about how to put sims up for download (like exporting their files) or anything like that, feel free to dm me! i'm happy to help. :)
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ooo okay, so presets help a ton. northernsiberiawinds has some head presets and i use #8 all the time and it gives the head a narrower shape. here is a gif showing how i use sliders to pull the face down because i honestly don't know how to explain it in words and figured a visual would be of more help anyway. hope this helps! <3
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darehearts · 6 months ago
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good morning  !  new header and pinned  !  i also created new banners and will be going back to small text  !  just wanted to shake things up a bit before my blogiversary this weekend  🥰✨
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fatuismooches · 11 months ago
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EVEN MORE CUTE DOTTORE MOMENTS TO MAKE YOU SMILE 🙏 (because I am too tired to post anything of quality)
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bunnyboy-juice · 8 days ago
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honestly actually ik the "ride or die, you can have complex feelings about these people who harmed you but i HATE them, you're never wrong" type of friendship is super common n praised n i even can understand why that form of unconditional "love" is appealing, but i genuinely think its the most suffocating form of friendship ive ever experienced
#bunny rambles#mostly bc the only way i can cope with what ive experienced is knowing i am flawed too#knowing many of these ppl who did terrible things to me are. ppl. not random monsters but ppl like me. who fucked up severely#i hold a lot of nuance and rarely talk to ppl ab my feelings bc anyone doing hard line like This Is A Bad Person activates me#even my therapist tried doing that and i had to stop our session right then cause i started sobbing ab the fact ik they arent bad ppl#and her doing that derails from my feelings and pain to them Being Bad and I don't need them to Be Bad to feel my hurt#if anything focusing on morality scares me away n makes me hide but thats also bc ive been experiencing shit since i was [prepubescent age]#so I've been having to live with this shit way longer than i was even in therapy and idk. i think if this stuff only happened starting past#the age of 15 i would be more capable of the b&w morality judgements required for this type of friendship#but I'm really honestly glad to know ppl who like. Dont wanna engage in that b&w morality for every single topic so i can actually talk ab#my feelings w/o feeling suffocated. and btw the suffocating prt to me is the pity and victimization as well. i hte experiencing that part#i had a few session with my therapist (b4 the other anecdote) talking ab how i feel suffocated when pitied and treated As a Victim[tm] even#tho that is language that can be applied to me bc everyone tries to apply that same morality but where i COULDNT have done anything wrong#(n then i feel suffocated n pressure to only say the ways they harmed me or never speak on that so they arent made into a Monster)#(i genuinely do wish the best even for ppl who have done the worst to me. dont be rude)#ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYY rambles and grumbles#(also i bring up the age of trauma in relevance to this not as a comparison but as a note on Why i am the way i am bc ik tht hving to like.#beocme a person w/ my childhood selves all basically being various gaping wounds made me a lot more tender when i started actually being#involved in my life and its been a struggle still w myself sometimes but genuinely remembering i and everyone whos harmed me are all just.#ppl Really helped me be able to like. live with this. idk. im rambling)
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ilkkawhat · 3 months ago
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just reflecting today on the 7th poured drink tonight and recalling how when i was venting to my co-workers about yesterday and the panic attack i had and all that, she mentioned how I needed more help when I was drowning and i swear to you the immediate thing that came to mind when she said that was alan wake
#i haven't really made many drowning gifs have i#also i feel bad cause like. god#this is so stupid and convoluted and part of the guilt i'm carrying right now#our customer service department ended up being the straw that broke my back and made me have that panic attack/meltdown yesterday#and i try#i TRY SO HARD to have some empathy towards them cause i mean#they're the ones getting basically abused by our customers#and it hurts so much to me that i can't be more help#and specifically the situation yesterday was me having to jump in and finish something that idk took me all of ten minutes to do#after i asked for some forklift assistance that took maybe like half an hour#but i had asked my employees to get that done *last week* and they couldn't do it#and the poor customer service rep had to escalate it to the director of sales which she flaunted in myf ace#and i felt terrible when i snapped and said 'ok i'll drop everything i'm doing to help you'#when i did legit have a million other things i needed to do#i'm honest to god tempted to rate myself as unsuccessful this year just cause like#i've been having to do my own employee's jobs which is also my fault for maybe not being firm like i need to be#but anyway her saying how i was drowning of course made me think of alan which honestly made me feel a little better#cause i mean it's like nick right#if alan could get out of the dark place even though it took him 13 years maybe i can too#and also inspiring in the way that like. alan needed help and i probably need help too#i've gone to therapy twice once in person and once online and like nick it's just...#not my thing#but something both therapists seemed to concur upon was that my support system isn't the best and i also need to work on myself#and love myself and lmao that's soooooo much easier said than done#but anyway i'm sorry i should get a real diary or somethin but#something about the formatting of tagging like this is weirdly comforting
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fingertipsmp3 · 8 months ago
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There are two wolves inside me. One is trying to convince me to do extensive research for the job interview tomorrow and the other is saying “wing it”
#there’s yet another that’s saying ‘cancel it’ but no i want to do this#i’m just sick of working from home. it has made me realise that i have zero ability to self-motivate myself or to set up a schedule#and stick to it#(case in point: i’m on here at 10:19 on a thursday morning instead of working)#thank god i don’t have concrete deadlines to stick to because i would’ve failed all of them and gotten fired#anyway. to be honest i don’t know how much research i NEED to do? like i don’t know what they’re going to ask me#it’s either going to be a super informal interview where they basically have already made up their minds to hire me if i seem credible#or it’s going to be a long drawn-out process of structured interview questions and ‘tell me about a time you went above and beyond at work’#which… is a GARBAGE question i’m sorry. above and beyond??? girl i earned minumum fucking wage at my last job#i’ll go above and beyond when you pay me more than the bare fucking minimum. £12 an hour?? you’re lucky i showed up and didn’t steal stuff#i think my ‘research’ is just going to be making shit up to be honest#i have figured out where this place is geographically. i have looked at the website (which mostly just had pictures of a big pool)#i want to look at coshh guidelines and shit again and i want to make up some stories about me being an exemplary employee#because i know that just having been slightly above average is not enough. i’ve been slightly above average at most things my whole life#and it’s never enough#tbh i might just print out the job description and highlight the parts i already fit (so i know to talk about that in the interview)#and then find ways to make it look like i COULD fit the parts i don’t fit. or could learn to do so#i don’t want to doooooo this i hate job interviews. i hate bureaucracy#i hate having to beg for a job from companies that should be begging people to work for them#considering the fucking insane amount of duties they want to give you for fucking minimum wage. but anyway#if you need me i’m going to fight with my printer. it’s trying its best but ‘its best’ is not good#personal
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leatherbookmark · 1 year ago
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ootd features the words "black dress" in its lyrics and people are like oh! this is a reference to another group's song, "black dress"!
i'm unwell.
#shrimp thoughts#also 'you people just Don't Understand' part 2: apparently there will be Part Two. just like with gee idle's allergy and queen/card#which. lol. apparently 'when allergy came out people were shocked because the it was basically 'if you're ugly tough shit just get a#surgery' but once queen/card came out everything was clear!' and like. how was it clear. what was clear.#one song is 'boo hoo i'm so ugly i hate looking at myself in the mirror and no one likes me i should get plastic surgery'#and the other is like 'ya hoo i'm so hot and sexy i'm like these two western celebrities!!!! i'm so cool i'm twerking on the runway'#kp/op kinda sucks balls in that it's like.... musical equivalent of tjlc crossed with marvel. it's basic ass pop made to sell except with a#faux deep garnish. and sometimes the garnish stands on its own! like if you take guerrilla it's clear that there's actually no deeper or#more detailed philosophy behind it. it's not really n.o where the 'rebellion' was actually supposed to be against something concrete#it's like. we want to feel! we don't want... not to feel! but the sound and visuals are strong enough that you don't mind it#like fuck yeah the lads are staging a revolution now! and now they're outlaws in a western! sort of! and now it's alice in wonderland!#but v often the companies actively make use of the fact that kp/op stans will obsessively look for Depth and Serious Themes in their#cultural reset slaying sotys. a girl looks at a butterfly? oh the song is about having an identity crisis like in that one poem about a guy#dreaming about being a butterfly. it's actually very deep and you can see it was all planned because there was a little butterfly icon#above the tracklist. and the fans get so attached to their headcanons theories and interpretations that they don't stop for a second#to check if there was anything in the 'text' in the first place#remember that one magritte post? this is also how kp/op stans interpret things. she wears a blue dress here and blue is the color of summer#and summer is when you have holidays and don't have to go to school! so by this blue dress she's trying to say that you should love#yourself and strive to be the best version of yourself by embracing your hobbies and extracurricular interests. this is so genius 😭
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autism-corner · 1 month ago
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i <3 images
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itsalwaysdark · 3 months ago
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so to do my testing i need a state id but to get my state id i need a social security card bc i lost mine so im waiting up to 15-20 days for social security to send me a verification number in the mail so that i can apply for a new social security card and then ill have to wait for that to get to me and then i can go get my ky id and hopefully not get in trouble for taking so long to get my id changed and THEN i can schedule my ged classes. and by then ill probably have finished my math and science ged readys which is good and ummm i think thats all. itll prolly be a permit rather than a state id so i can work on learning to drive since we have a nice Not horrible car . and then ill know how to drive which will be helpful to me even if it takes me a while to actually own a car... but itd be helpful to Be able to drive yk. even if i am quite late... and once i get all of that done then thats like finally finished and then i can get a job again and start saving up money for when i am ready to move out...
#and once i am Making money again ill feel better going to the dr for all of my stuff bc my mom says itd be covered by insurance but im#rly rly paranoid abt there being copays or something yk . so id like to Have money jic since i currently have. 3 dollars at all#but yes. and im rly lucky im able to live with my family bc like. they wont Make me pay rent they might ask for help which ill gladly do bc#1. yk and 2. i have been living here free of charge for almost a year 3. even all that aside i want the kids to be able to keep living here#and also be able to eat so idm helping with groceries and the mortgage or whathave you... and itll all be cheaper than paying rent at my#own place anyways so i can build up a good net AND ill have money to start donating again bc i hate not being able to donate it makes me#feel so useless. that was the best part of living in wa was that i Had money to be spending and donating was one of the like. bc i have a#lot of hangups abt money so pretty much spending any money made me feel sick and i had to punish myself for it BUT donating bypassed that.#not that the benefit of donating is that i can spend money without feeling bad but it is something i Want to do because i want to be able t#help however i can . obviously. i am rambling now but basically yes im excited to have a job again#idt ill have money to get people gifts this year for xmas Which sucks but hoooooooopefully i will have a job by february.......... dependin#wewill see how it all works out. im hoping february bc thats the start of the 1st wave of bdays. well . technically january is but thats My#bday so it doesnt count.... bc tag feb father mar weeman may. and then lamp sep and mother oct and i couldnt get either of them gifts and#Yeah i feel evil#BUT!!!! next year i will be able to afford everything all of it ill have money and a job and i can get ppl gifts i love buying ppl gifts#even tho im bad at it i fear. bc i dont have much experience last year was the first year i got to buy xmas gifts for everybody... and bday#for some even :] but ya. ive loved buying gifts since 8th grade which was the first time i was able to buy gifts for my friends bc my dad#gave me his credit card for the dc trip. bc we were on kiiiiind of difficult terms in 2018 LOLLL. so he was doing pretty much anything to#get me to talk to him again the perks of having to go to court against your parent. and also girl that restraining order was meaningless bu#whatever i cant think abt it or ill get kinda mad so were moving on Oh im cramping that sucks okayyyyy. anyways. YES so thats your connor u#date i think these tags are gonna get cutoff in a major way. wait nvm i only had like 22... ok well ending it here goodbye my diary
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bredforloyalty · 5 months ago
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i had a good day i like having things to do but unfortunately i have just remembered i am insane</3
#currently. in this moment#currently i can't stand the enorrrrmous gap between what i recognize as good writing + how committed i am to improving the skill#(not very) (i am not committed i have never committed or honed any skill as it's a very vulnerable position to put yourself in)#(or let me rephrase that i feel unusually insecure and existentially threatened when i have to start from zero and make mistakes)#(which is basically all of life. so it's abnormal i know it is. but it's where i am right now and i'm not climbing out of this one anytime#soon)#so listen i didn't sign up for this. i don't even want this really and i double triple quadruple don't want rules and advice and#indirect criticism. the latter no one at all on planet earth can avoid bc every sentiment and opinion expressed can reflect on you in a way#where was i what gap. right so i am not actually disciplined or motivated to learn/discover/get better at creating something#so that's the gap‚ i know what i should be trying to do or what i should want or what i should strive for. i know why. i see i hear#i understand#it's just that‚ i am aware that psychologically that is not in my best interest#like long-term it is but in actuality it isn't. d'you know what i mean?#but i have my compulsions. and those don't care they operate on a different level#so there is a bit of an opposition. so what happens‚ and this is the important part‚ what happens is i do it and i feel bad.#unless i close my eyes and ears. and i feel bad right now#and i'm bummed#and then i question everything and wonder why i'm alive#and i said insane because if i didn't have compulsions and obsessions? if i lived a real tactile present life. day to day and only cared#about how i can improve my life and the lives of others. and how i can become useful#directly. if i was someone who could access that. then i wouldn't have this problem#i know this sounds like “if i was different i would be different which would be good”. and that is exactly what i'm saying yeah#so this is my journal entry for today. i felt good when i was doing something simple for 9 hours and then i 🧠made myself feel bad#kata.txt#writing tag
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teaboot · 10 months ago
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This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.
I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.
(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)
Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.
And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.
I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.
And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.
But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.
But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.
And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.
So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.
And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.
But what if I hadn't known how to do that?
What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?
What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?
My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.
And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?
How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?
I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.
I think I'm gonna frame it.*
(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)
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kingdomvel · 26 days ago
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Steddie | 3.4k | ao3
five times people don't believe Steve and Eddie are dating + one time they have to
Made the silly post, decided to actually write it
1.
Eddie stops his van in front of Dustin’s house. His was the last stop of the drop off after the dnd session at Gareth’s house. Dustin turns towards Eddie. He is drumming his fingers on the wheel to the beat of the DIO song playing, never still. When Dustin doesn’t move, he turns to look at him with his eyebrows raised.
“Anything wrong, Henderson?”
He is looking at him with his big eyes and Dustin gulps. Even after everything they have been through, Dustin can’t help but feel nervous. There is still this feeling that tells him he has to try to impress Eddie, to be cool enough to be his friend.
“Will you teach me how to play guitar?” Dustin blurts before he chickens out.
Eddie looks at him with surprise, blinking a few times. He was clearly not expecting that question.
“Sure.”
“Wait- really?” Dustin is genuinely surprised. A part of him knew that Eddie wouldn’t say no, but he fully expected some teasing, some ‘what, Henderson, you wanna be like me?’ which. Yes. But he didn’t want Eddie to say it.
“Yeah dude, why not?”
Dustin lets out a delighted laugh and slaps the dashboard. “Yes! Thank you! When are we starting? Any time is good for me-“
“Calm down,” Eddie says with a chuckle.
“What about tomorrow? I can do tomorrow. I will bike to your house after school and you can teach me the basics or-“
“Calm down Henderson,” Eddie repeats louder. Dustin shuts up. “I can’t do tomorrow.”
Dustin’s heart breaks a little. “Why?”
“Because this humble bard has a date with Steve Harrington.” He has a stupid smile on his face when he says it.
There are a couple of seconds of silence and Dustin knows that he is pulling a face.
“Dude, don’t say it like that.”
“Like what?” Eddie looks baffled, almost offended, but there is a shiver going down Dustin’s spine.
“Like that! A date? Just say you are hanging out like a normal person.”
He is used to Eddie’s way of saying things, rarely in a normal way, but that was weird. Don’t get him wrong, he is very happy that Steve and Eddie have stopped acting like idiots every time Dustin mentioned the other and that they are hanging out now. But it’s still strange, seeing them actually getting along so well.
“If I’m going to have the King all to myself I am calling it a date.”
“STOOOP! It’s weird.”
“What is it Henderson?” Eddie says in a teasing tone as he leans towards Dustin. “Jealous that me and Steve are giving each other a bit of love?”
“Stop saying it like that!” Dustin screams. This would be so much weirder if Dustin didn’t know he is just teasing him. Maybe it was better when they were not friends.
The front door to his house opens, and Dustin scrambles to get out of the van before his mother can come and embarrass him more. The last thing he hears is Eddie’s crackling laugh.
2.
“Okay, what is happening?” Robin asks as soon as the door closes after the girl that had just rented Back to the Future.
“Something’s happening?” Steve sends a brief look around with a confused frown on his face before he looks at Robin.
“That girl.” Robin gestures to the door for emphasis.
Steve snorts, “yeah. Back to the Future? That’s funny.” He says as he crosses his arms in front of himself.
“That is not what this is about.”
“It’s not?”
“No! She was a babe!”
“Was she?” Steve looks at the door again, like he had not even seen the girl, like it had not even occurred to him to look at the girl. Robin could kill him.
“Yes! She was!”
“Did you want me to set you up with her? Because I will, you know that. Maybe we can have a code for that, you say- I don’t know- ‘have you watched Fast Times?’ and I will put my best wingman skills to use. I will get you a date in no time.”
Steve is the best friend Robin could ask for. He is also incredibly dumb and she is going to strangle him.
“I didn’t want you to set me up with her.”
“What’s the problem then?”
“The problem is that you are Steve Harrington and you didn’t even try to flirt with her! You should have been all over her, trying to get a date or her number. You haven’t been on a date in weeks! And it’s not even that you are striking out like in scoops, you are not even trying Steve. What is wrong with you?”
“What do you mean I haven’t been on a date in weeks, I was with Eddie just yesterday, I told you.” He has this confused frown on his face, like he seriously doesn’t understand where Robin is coming from.
“Steve, hanging out with Eddie doesn’t count as a date. Also, ew, don’t put that image in my head, I know he is our friend now or whatever and that you like hanging out with him but I would hope for you to have better taste than that.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that Eddie? Seriously? Did you see the stains on his mattress?”
Steve pulls a face, like had not thought about it before. “We’ll buy a new mattress.”
Robin looks at him, trying her best to communicate how gross she finds Eddie with her mind. Steve looks back at her with his eyebrows raised, daring her to say something else about Eddie.
The bell at the door interrupts them. It’s not a babe this time, just a normal guy, returning a tape. They act like the professionals they are until he is out of the door again.
“Aren’t you going to ask me why I didn’t flirt with him?” Steve asks, his hand gesturing to the door in that annoying way of his.
“No,” Robin says, but Steve doesn’t really wait for her answer before he continues talking.
“I didn’t because I am dating Eddie!”
“No you are not,” Robin answers with a snort.
“Yes I am.” Steve looks completely betrayed. “I am with him almost every day.”
“Oh, I know what is happening.” It’s so clear, so easy to understand now that Steve has said that. She puts her hands on Steve’s shoulders. He looks at her with a frown, a tilt of his head as he uncrosses his arms in confusion. “Steve.” She tries to convey as much seriousness as she can, just so Steve understands what is happening too. “Just because you have realised you like boys and he is gay and you two are hanging out, it doesn’t mean you two are dating.”
“Oh fu-“ he tries to move away from her but she clutches his shoulders tightly.
“You have to learn how to have friends your age, Steve. Remember when you though you liked me? I got away because I don’t like boys, and Eddie does! But that doesn’t mean he is into you!”
Steve rolls her eyes at her. The audacity. He bats her arms away with more easiness than Robin would like to admit. “Whatever.” He just says.
3.
“Steve”
“Mike” Steve answers in the same serious tone. If not a bit confused. Mike had followed him inside when he had come to get some drinks. He can still hear the others in the pool outside.
“I saw you speaking with Nancy.” Mike states. They had been speaking, close, too close. “And Dustin told me you were making eyes at her during the Vecna thing.”
“What?” Steve whispers as he shakes his head while he takes the drinks out of the fridge.
“Anything to say to defend yourself?” Mike asks him. He crosses his arms, tries to put on a serious pose. Intimidating, as much as he can.
“Listen,” Steve starts, he turns towards Mike him and leans back on the counter. He crosses his arms, and it makes Mike shift, conscious of his own crossed arms. He doesn’t like his tone, as if he is talking to a kid. “I know you are still pissy about me dating your sister, for some reason,” he uncrosses one of his arms to say it. “But she is with Jonathan now and I am totally over her.” Mike just squints at him. He doesn’t believe him. Everyone knows that Steve is not over Nancy. “Totally! I mean it. I’m dating Eddie now.” He says it like it’s a question.
Mike snorts. That is the stupidest lie Steve could have come up with to try to get out of this. “As if.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Eddie is too cool to date you.”
“He is too- I’ve saved your life,” he points to Mike.
“Eddie is still cooler.”
Steve takes a deep breath and Mike doesn’t really want to hear what Steve is going to say to defend himself. Thankfully he doesn’t say anything, his mouth closing as his eyes drift someplace behind Mike.
“I was promised beer,” Eddie’s voice comes from behind Mike.
“You’d have it if Mike here hadn’t decided to give me shit,” Steve answers as he moves to open a can of beer and hands it to Eddie when he gets to him.
“Just-“ Mike huffs. “Don’t get any ideas with my sister.” He says it as he points to Steve while he walks back outside.
Mike doesn’t stay to see Steve’s reaction, but he hears Eddie say “anything I should be worried about?” before the noise of the others drowns everything else.
4.
Max and Eleven giggle as the stand outside of the window to Eddie’s room. He is inside, they can see the lump inside the sheets and the mess of curls on the pillow. They look at each other and nod with a grin before they start banging on the window and shouting his name.
Eddie starts on the bed, Max could swear he lifts a few centimetres from the bed she can hear him scream ‘jesus christ’ through the window before he turns towards them with a squint. He sits up on the bed and reaches across to open the window, he is not wearing a shirt, so they have a full view of all his tattoos. It’s not like Max ever wants to see them so close, but she knows El likes them.
“What the FUCK Mayfield,” he asks, but it doesn’t sound like a question. Then, after a second of him squinting and them more. “Mini Hopper.”
Max doesn’t answer, because behind Eddie another lump is raising from the bed and looking at them with a squint. “Max? Is anything wrong?” Steve asks as he rubs his face and hair with the hand that is not currently propping him up.
“I…” Max starts, but she doesn’t continue. Sure, she had seen Steve shirtless at the boat that one time when they were going after Vecna, but it was nighttime and she had to look through some shitty binoculars.
Eddie reaches a hand back to try to push Steve back down, but it doesn’t really work. He just pushes his face, and Steve lets himself be pushed, just for a bit, before he is straightening again.
“Hey, hey,” Eddie says as he snaps his fingers in front of Max. It works on bringing her attention back to him. “Anything wrong?”
Max shakes her head.
“Are you having a sleepover? I also sleep with Max when we have a sleepover,” El asks.
Eddie looks between them for a couple of seconds before he says, “sure we are.”
It just sounds like he just wants to get rid of them.
“You boys are gross, can’t you put a shirt on?” Max asks. Billy was always walking around shirtless too.
“Keep telling yourself that,” Eddie just replies.
“Did anything happen?” Steve insists.
“We had a sleepover,” El says.
“Yeah, gathered that,” Eddie deadpans.
“We came so you will take us out for pancakes.”
Eddie groans as he lets himself fall back on the bed and looks up at Steve.
“I totally blame you for this being my life now, just so you know.”
Steve just laughs and pushes his face to the side. Max pulls a face, their friendship must be one of the weirdest things that has come out of the whole Vecna thing. Steve turns towards them with a stupid smile on his face.
“Go get your things, we will be out in ten minutes.”
“Ten minutes?!” Eddie protests, but Max and El don’t pay attention to him, already celebrating and running back to Max’s.
The last thing she sees is Steve leaning down towards Eddie with a hand on his face out of the corner of her eye, but she doesn’t really put much thought to it.
5.
Lucas loves having Steve to play with. After all the Vecna stuff, he didn’t really want to hang out with the guys from basketball all that much, so Steve had stepped up. He had bought a hoop for his big driveway for them to practise and everything.
The day is hot, and they have been going at it for hours, so they are both sweaty and tired. They are at Steve’s driveway. It’s just them, sweaty under the sun, and Eddie sitting on a folding chair on the side, for some reason. He was already here when Lucas had arrived, and he had refused to leave. He is on the shade, reading a book, looking way more comfortable than them.
“Pause for drinks?” Steve asks, and Lucas is very happy to agree with him. “Hey!” he yells towards Eddie, he jumps as he looks up. “Don’t think I don’t see you looking at me like a creep. You should be getting us drinks.”
“Sorry sweetheart.” Eddie shouts back as he waves his book.
“Drinks, now.” Steve says with a jerk of his head towards the house.
Eddie drops the book in his haste to stand up and follow Steve inside. They are weird, they act so weird all the time. They should get girlfriends, that way they would maybe stop being weird with each other.
“You want anything, Lucas?” Steve asks as he walks away.
“Just a soda!” Lucas calls out after them.
Steve gives him a thumbs up as he goes through the door.
It’s ten minutes later that Lucas starts to wonder what’s taking them so long. He got tired of practising shoots, and also of sitting down on the grass waiting for them.
The house is blessedly chilly and dark when he comes in.
“Steve?” he calls out.
He walks towards the kitchen. There is sound coming from it, shuffling. When he gets close enough to the kitchen he hears Eddie speak quietly.
“Were you afraid your neighbours might see, big boy?”
“Shut up,” Steve answers. Then there are some wet sounds and when Lucas comes into the kitchen Steve is all over Eddie and-
“DUDE!” Lucas screams. Steve jumps away from Eddie. “What are you doing? What if Robin had seen you?”
Steve looks around. “What?”
“Dustin said you like Robin, what if she was here and she saw you…” he can’t even describe what they were doing, he just knows that if some girl saw that, she would never consider dating Steve.
“I don’t want to date Robin, why does everyone think I want to date Robin?” Steve says.
Lucas doesn’t answer. He just looks at Steve. If it’s not Robin, it’s Nancy, for sure. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell her, or anyone.”
Eddie laughs like a maniac, Lucas just squints at him and goes to grab his soda.
+1
Robin is not sure how they have ended up here. At the Hideout. On a Tuesday. With all the kids and Eddie’s band helping them get ready before even the freaking owner has arrived. She doesn’t know what about Eddie he thought was reliable enough to give him the keys to the bar, but she guesses it’s ‘I don’t want to go work early because some teenagers want to set up their instruments to play their shitty music’. It works for them though, because the kids had been saying how much they wanted to see them play, but they are not allowed to come into the bar when it’s open, so they have come extra early so they can listen to a couple of songs before people start arriving.
“Hey lovebirds!” A voice shouts. It’s one of Eddie’s bandmates. Gareth, Robin thinks he is called. “Stop being disgusting and come here so we can start?”
Robin turns to look for who he could be calling out for. Nancy and Jonathan have not come today, and everyone is in the stage area, everyone except…
“Did you just call Steve and Eddie lovebirds?”
“Yeah, since they started dating they’ve been unbearable.”
“DATING?” Dustin shrieks beside them.
“Shit, sorry, was that supposed to be a secret?” Gareth asks, and he sounds genuinely scared. Robin would normally appreciate it but-
“Oh, you think they are actually dating?” Dustin asks, but it doesn’t sound like a question, more like a realisation.
“Aren’t they?” Jeff asks.
“No, no, it’s just Eddie saying weird things.” Dustin dismisses, but Robin is frozen in place, the cogs in her mind turning.
“You are not dating?” Gareth asks to the side and yep, there Eddie and Steve are, now close to them. Eddie has his arm around Steve’s shoulder and they are leaning against each other.
Shit.
“We are,” Steve says easily. “They just don’t believe us.” Eddie bumps his head against Steve’s and he moves his head slightly away with an annoyed look that looks more fond than anything else.
Robin and Dustin are gaping at them and, from the sudden quiet around them she guesses the rest are too.
“Wait you two are actually dating?!” Lucas voice comes from behind them. “But Dustin said you weren’t going out with anyone because you liked Robin?”
That shakes Robin out of it, if only to turn around and say, “Ew, no.” Doesn’t matter who he is talking to.
“And I told Mike and Robin I was dating Eddie,” Steve says. “And you saw us kissing.”
“Yeah but- I don’t know.”
Eddie’s bandmates are now dying of laughter, Robin can’t even blame them.
“How was I supposed to believe you were telling the truth!” Robin exclaims. That provokes more laughs.
“Wait,” Max intervenes. “So that day you were sleeping together without a shirt…” She trails off, but they all see in her face what she just realised. “Gross!”
“Oh shut up Mayfield,” Eddie says. “I saw you looking at my boyfriend’s tits.”
That shuts Max up.
“You really are dating Steve?” Mike asks.
“Yes, and no stupid comments or your character is dead Wheeler.” Eddie states, pointing to Mike with the arm that is not around Steve.
And that shuts Mike up with a huff and a shake of his head.
“So you two are boyfriends?” El asks. “I think that’s cute.”
“Thanks El,” Steve says.
“I can’t believe you got with a boy before I got with a girl!” Robin exclaims. “And I didn’t know!”
“You would have known if you had believed me!” Steve exclaims back.
“Well sorry for thinking about your dating record and drawing conclusions.”
“Okay, okay,” Gareth interrupts them. “As funny as this is, we need to start now if we want to play anything before the owner arrives.”
“Let’s get this party going,” Eddie exclaims. He moves away from Steve to grab his guitar, and then goes back to Steve and kisses him on the lips. Actually kisses him on the lips in front of everyone, and Steve doesn’t really react except from a smile because why would he? They have been boyfriends for weeks apparently. “Be back in a minute sweetheart.”
Robin fake gags.
Steve moves to stand next to Robin. He has this shit eating grin on his face that Robin can’t stand.
“Shut up,” she says.
Eddie is on the stage now, looking at them with a stupid smile on his face. She should have known they were dating.
“Told you so,” Steve just says.
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vifilms · 27 days ago
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nsfw themes, eighteen+
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gymrat!vi who frequents the gym every day except for sundays. giving into his wishes to be present for their weekly dinner. any other day? she’s getting her pump in. an absolute given in her world. pink-hued strands stick to her scalp as she pushes for a new personal record on the bench, especially when vi’s bulking. whenever she’s training, she’s so zoned in, nothing can distract — well — it used to be nothing. 
gymrat!vi who secretly enjoys nothing more than working out with jayce. accountability between two best friends turns into a friendly competition. nothing at stake except their egos. seeing who can outdo the other set after set. something to keep them both in line, fit, and violet enjoys the hit to jayce’s ego whenever she can push weight heavier than jayce.
gymrat!vi who isn’t oblivious to the attention thrown her way. with the heatwave of summertime, her muscles are on full display, defined biceps, toned thighs, and god her tattoos are basically a honey-trap. she would be a fucking liar if she acted disgusted by it, part of her likes it a little too much. but hey, everyone likes to be appreciated from time to time and vi is no exception. and she never really saw a problem with it until a one night stand who then not not so subtly stalked her every time she was in the gym, learning her schedule until she had no choice but to leave her favorite gym. silently, she made a vow to not fuck with girls she met at the gym. 
….well, until you. 
gymrat!vi who is a known regular. she knows all the girls at the front desk, flirts with many of them, but to her it’s as platonic as chatting up the barista who brews her dose of caffeine in the morning. it’s ingrained into her morning routine, simply just a part of who she is. so, when she sees you at the front desk she nearly has to do a double take. there’s not a hot chance in hell she’s seen you before — vi would have definitely remembered you.
gymrat!vi who becomes shy for the first time in her life, bringing her membership card up to the scanner and offering a small smile but when looks back you seem to take a second look, eyes locked into her powder-blue eyes. even if just for a moment, you’re veering into her thumping soul. vi can’t help but smile. she reminds herself, you’re just another pretty girl. you’re new, probably won’t even last long. yeah, that’s what vi’s going to let herself believe. it’s not like she’s thinking about your gorgeous lips when she bench presses, or thinking about your gorgeous  eyes taking her breath away — or when vi’s powerlifting she’s so not thinking about lifting you on top of her. 
“if you talk to her, she might actually know your name.”
“w-what, i-i’m not, sh—”
jayce raises his eyebrows at vi, shaking his head as his very questionable friend spots her as she moves the weight the fluidity, her movements only struggling to push through when she reaches the final set.
“she’s the gym owner’s daughter, he’s wanting her to take over the reins, old age and all.” jayce responds as violet places the bar on the rack, her set complete until she moves onto the next one. “your little theory of her not being around for long is kinda crushed. unless you want to find another gym….”
“that’s the whole point of me not talking to her, m’not finding a new gym again. that’s a promise. i can control myself.” 
jayce just laughs. fucking laughs.
“what’s so funny, bro?” vi pouts.
“that you genuinely believe you’re gonna be able to stop yourself and that you think you have a type….and she fits the bill.” 
“oh, fuck off.” vi grunts.  
dropping the fifty pound dumbbells by the bench, lifting up her shirt to wipe some of the sweat off her face only to find you on the other side of the gym, staring directly at her abs like her glistening sweaty skin like it’s a golden ticket to heaven.
“well…fuck.” 
gymrat!vi who notices your presence more and more in the coming weeks. this time not just behind the front counter. you’re with the personal trainers, helping new customers fill out paperwork, and this morning you go wherever vi goes, her eyes can’t seem to stop searching for your figure. especially with those tight leggings you always seem to wear, vi couldn’t stop looking at the fat of your ass if her life depended on it. she managed to squeak out more than a hi to you yesterday, but it’s as far as her pleasantries extend.
gymrat!vi who has her headphones placed on her head, her all black workout set; this time something more modest at her disposable. the black and cotton hoodie covers her head, flares of bright pink wisps shadow from the hood but her shorts reach mid thigh, the overworked muscles in her legs flexing as she lifts the weight. jayce isn’t with her today, which means she basically had to physically restrain herself from talking to you today. even if she can see you sneaking glances at her through her workout, eyeing her legs each time she’s on the leg press. greedy, hot, goddess — vi is so fucked. 
when she walked the following day, you said her name, violet. 
you know her name. 
it’s just the database, it’s the only reason. 
pull yourself together, idiot. 
gymrat!viwho is at the end of her workout, taking her final rest before she does her last set, but here you go again, gawking as you pretend to be readjusting the weight on the racks but you finally stop looking at her, trying to put the last weight, the one-hundred pound bell but you just can’t. even then, vi is trying not to smile with how adorable you look as you struggle. 
before making her way over to you, she slides the black pair of headphones on her tattooed neck, popping the hoodie, seeing if anyone else was going to help you — just her luck — there wasn’t a soul in her at midnight besides her….shocker. 
“stupid, piece of shit, would you just—” 
“need some help there, princess?” vi looks over at you from the workout beach she’s perched on, legs spread wide as her jaw juts out, eyes naturally gleaming with curiosity. 
“i should be able to. i can do this, right? yeah? i definitely can do this.” 
but it only sounds as if you’re trying to convince yourself. the weight of responsibility crushing your spirit by a singular dumbbell. you’re huffing and puffing. life and death here, and all because of a stupid, petty, weight. 
vi stands up, her height towering over your hunched finger. “pick it up with your legs. next time, make it’ll easier.” 
violet doesn’t really use her legs though. the beautifully strong woman kneels on the ground with you, her gloved hand picks the weight up with ease and places it back on the rack. 
“obviously, i know that.” 
violet hums before she offers a hand, helping you stand tall. “of course you do.” 
the sensation bubbling on her fingertips from touching your skin almost seems downright electric — and now vi feels like running ten miles in the other direction for the sole purpose of settling her heartbeat for just a moment. 
“anyways, yeah, sorry to disturb you.” 
“not a problem, princess. never going to say no to a pretty girl in distress.” 
the smile violet offers is adorable, the one she flashes the girls when she comes in for her late work out, from wherever she comes from. but the way she scratches the nape of her neck? that’s just for you. 
gymrat!vi who can’t stop thinking of you, despite her best efforts. constantly, she wonders if you’re seeing someone, but the way you watch her, vi suspects your single as can be. it isn’t until one friday night, just as she’s trying to leave, one of the front girls, rich and pompous, is trying to coax her into meeting her and some friends at the bar tonight. when she’s about to say no for a finale time, growing more uncomfortable by the second, you’ve come up to where she is and, well fuck, violet’s even more embarrassed that one of your employees is hitting on her right in front of you. 
“c’mon! jayce says you haven’t been out in ages. you deserve it, you’re always working out so much. if anyone deserves a treat, it’s you.” 
cursing out the little shit in her mind, she rolls her eyes, trying to contain herself from having an aneurysm. “little shit, divulging all my secrets.” 
sabrina laughs more than she should, tossing her purple hair over her shoulder. carefully, you hover, absentmindedly scrolling on your phone and violet wonders if you stay there for a reason. 
if she’s the reason you’re eavesdropping. 
“so….is that a yes?” 
violet sighs, she hates this. “maybe another time.” 
gymrat!vi who wonders what you thought of the entire time. quiet as a mouse, you hadn’t said a single word to her since you were there to witness the rejection of her employee they still couldn’t seem to just stop. this is what she wants. silence…..right? it’s what she keeps telling herself but now vi can’t stop trying to catch your attention, just an ounce of it is all she craves. today, you only spared her a glance before you talked to jayce. pathetically, she decides to do something to catch your attention, hip thrusts. 
gymrat!vi who looks up as you watch her pelvis lift the weight placed on her abdomen, pushing sturdy hips through the set as you keep sparing glances gawking at her porcelain skin exposed. she can tell you’re at least trying to pay attention to whatever jayce is saying but you’re interest loses focus when she grunts with one final thrust, the bar rolling away from her legs. 
“did you hear that?” vi rolls her eyes at the sound of his chipper voice. 
“what?” violet slips her headphones off, trying to even her labored breaths. not just jayce, but the both of you stand above vi as she tries to catch her breath. 
“i invited her to our brunch with mel on saturday.” 
“oh, is that this saturday?” 
oh, he really is playing fucking dirty. 
“is there a problem, vi?” 
little chicken shit is grinning, goddamn it. she takes another swing from her water bottle, hoping to god you’ll think it’s too forward, too weird, and you’ll just instantly decline. 
“not a problem.” vi grits her teeth as she speaks, jaw clenching as she knows this is surely to be a hole there will be no digging out from. 
or one she so desperately wants to fill.
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rayray rants — UM IDK HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS???? it's kinda different than what i normally post but i might turn it into a little hc series. anyways! hope you like and i have a very special vi post coming soon that i'm really excited about. but yeah! hopefully, i can continue this because vi working out is literally all i can think about. alright, um, see you next time ♡
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luludeluluramblings · 7 months ago
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Smalltown!Neglected!Meta!Reader x Yandere!Batfam ☁️ Part Four
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Part One ☁️ Part Two ☁️ Part Three ☁️ Part Five ☁️ Part Six ☁️ Part Seven ☁️ Part Eight
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Warning: Obessive behavior, Yandere tendencies, su*c*de/death.
A/N: Finally adding warning labels. We’re getting somewhere. I’ve had some of this written out, but had to add some stuff in to drive it home. Reader’s coping skills are failing, but everyone’s starting to get obsessive. Also, I’ve been fighting myself on drawing art for this. (I’m a bit out of practice.)
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Reader has basically called befriending Damian and Jason a lost cause.
Bruce still avoids reader. And, everyone else is still busy with what Reader assumes is Batwork. (Which is fine, Reader is fine. It’s not like they’re stuck in the manor pacing the halls every damn day.)
Cass and Duke’s get back from their respective missions. They weren’t gone too long, but they’re come back a bit roughed up. They debrief with Bruce and then have to go back to being civilians.
Reader is waiting to comfort them. Not to confront them. Reader’s more concerned with how Duke has a mild limp and how Cass’s knuckles have some bruising than them ditching. Plus, reader is still not completely sure that her family is Gotham’s vigilantes. They need to confirm.
But, Duke and Cass both appreciate Reader checking on them and not asking questions. Cass suspects Reader suspects something, judging by Reader’s body language. But, it’s nice for someone who’s naturally soft to be soft with you.
Duke appreciates how Reader treats him so, normally. In a way it reminds him of his childhood, when things were easier. He has a normal friend now, completely mostly free of Gotham’s crazy.
Reader is happy their back, but disappointed that they won’t be going to the school gala. In fact, a few family members make comments about how it sounds like a waste of time.
Bruce, however, is actually happy Reader is excited. And, Reader gets even more excited when one of their new friends ask to be their date. Reader’s date is so genuinely excited about going to this Gala with Reader. (Uh-oh, that’s not good.)
Some of Reader’s other friends, the more haughty and wealthy ones, tell Reader that they should’ve picked someone more… refined. Which Reader defends that their Date is perfectly sweet and good looking to boot.
But, this leads Reader to decide not to tell anyone in the family about their date. They don’t want to hear the same thing from their Gotham family. Reader does inform BFF, younger brother, and Nana of their date. For some reason, BFF was a bit disgruntled, and even Nana tried to convince them it was probably best not to go. Younger Brother was encouraging reader to have fun. (But he was whispering into the phone, and asking Reader if he could come visit them soon. Please. People are acting weird here. Is everything okay, do you need me to come home. No. No. Don’t— It’s fine. I just wanna come visit you.)
But, reader was committed to going and enjoying their date and wearing their custom made outfit.
That night, Reader was given Bruce’s permission to get ready at one of their friends’ houses. Reader was practically spoiled by their friends, it was almost a bit overwhelming. Their date meet them at the Gala escorting them inside and having a wonderful time. (I hope it last. It’s not going to though. How sad.)
At the end of the night, their Date escorted them home. To end a near perfect night Reader got a kiss. A long and pretty heated kiss. Right in front of the Entrance camera.
Tim had pulled up the camera feed when Reader got home, at Bruce’s request, just to check on Reader. (He was going to do it anyway.) The entire family was winding down from Patrol in the Batcave when the feed came on. Leaving them all to get a front row seat to Reader’s little act of rebellion.
(That’s all this was, right. Just a little act of rebellion. This won’t happen again, obviously. They won’t fucking let it.)
Bruce is livid. It doesn’t help that Jason wolf-whistles to further enrage him. (Jason is making plans to break someone’s leg though. Possibly the Dates. How fucking dare they corrupt you, that’s his job.)
Stephane is honestly impressed, didn’t think Reader had it in them. (How cute! I wonder what we could get up to together.)
Duke, sweet Duke, didn’t want to see that. His (best) friend getting tongued down on camera. He’s going to need bleach and therapy. (Why would you do that? When you can just game with him. You’re his bro. Gross.)
Cassandra is… understanding. Reader has needs. Reader wants affection. That’s fine. But, not that one. Pick someone else. (Llet her pick, actually. You can’t read people like her, you need someone better. Someone you she can trust. She needs to approve of them first.)
Dick is more disapproving, but he understands. Still, this changes how he sees Reader. Sweet innocent helpless Reader has a wild side. (But still reader is clearly helpless, obviously they don’t know what they’re doing.)
It also changes how Barbara sees Reader. Or confirms. Barbara runs under the assumption that Reader is more like Bruce than anyone realizes. (She’s not wrong, but it’s not in the way she thinks.) Bruce is a bit of natural flirt, he just hides it in his ‘Brucie’ persona. Reader apparently takes after that. (Damian sure didn’t.)
Damian, is disgusted, disappointed, and disapproving. He doesn’t doubt Father will scold you, but your date needs to be dealt with and all other suitors as well. (He’ll take care of it. He’s your brother, that’s his job.)
Tim, however, is legitimately jealous. He wanted to see this side of reader first. He got a glimpse of it before, but he wants it for himself now that he sees the full thing. (Also, right in front of the camera? Did Reader know it was there? If they did, would they be okay with Tim filming them more? Just to observe, please.)
Tim immediately starts pulling up all the information he can about Reader’s date. Without Bruce’s prompting this time. Bruce does nod in approval before marching to the entrance. Intent on putting an end to this and giving Reader a firm talking to.
It goes, horribly. Date is forced to leave and Bruce tears into Reader. (What happened to the outfit I bought you? Why didn’t you tell me you had a date? I didn’t approve of this. I don’t care that you’re back on time or that you’re old enough, you’re my child! Mine! You get my approval first.)
Reader stays composed, barely. The good news is that the brutal scolding is the only consequence Reader faces. (Bruce is more upset about Reader not seeking his approval than doing something he disapproves of. He’s your father. He should have a damn say. Would you have done this to D̴̖̞͑̊̓a̷͎͗̇d̸̜͍̩̓̎d̸̪̩̟̆̎y̶̛̼̌? Why are you doing this to him?)
The bad news, Reader’s date’s life is over. With just a few clicks from Tim and approval from Bruce, Date’s family company falling apart. Reported to the government, lawsuits filed by third-parties. Hidden debts needing to be collected NOW. Any misfiled taxes? Found and reported. And, most importantly, all calls and ways for Date to contact reader again, blocked.
Socially and financially, Date’s life is ruined in less than twenty-four hours. Worst of all, Reader doesn’t know. They’re still on cloud nine about the night, despite Bruce’s lecture. But, come Sunday morning, two days later, things fall apart.
Date is reported dead. Apparent suic1de just the night before. The financial implosion of the family was named the apparent reason.
Reader is distraught, confused, and hurt. What happened? What’s going on? This can’t be happening. I don’t want to lose anymore people I care about. I don’t want to lose someone like Momma and Daddy again.
Reader’s Gotham friends console Reader, saying it’s not their fault. That Date struggled with thought before. Don’t blame yourself. (They weren’t worth your time.)
Surprisingly enough, it’s Dick that finds reader having a borderline breakdown.
Dick clings and coddles and coos, but this time. Reader clings back. Reader clings back tight. Desperate for comfort. Which is surprising for Dick.
Most of the family tends to brush off his attempts at comfort until they hit rock bottom. For once, this isn’t someone hitting rock bottom before they need him. This is someone that’s just genuinely sad and overwhelmed and needs wants him.
Dick also ran under the assumption that Reader was allergic to affection, like Damian and Bruce. But, apparently, that wasn’t the case. It’s a nice feeling. To have someone not fight him when he tries to be comforting. Someone who is happy to take it. Of course, he doesn’t stay long. Once Reader pulls themselves together he’s got to get back to Buldhaven, but this time he leaves a bit slower. (But, him leaving somehow makes Reader feel worse.)
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briony-tallis · 5 months ago
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ummmmm hey why didn't any of the dozen people who liked this post tell me to pop my head over the fence to reddit because there's a fucking civil war brewing over something that might be of interest here?????
hey i know that no one seems to want to address this and we’ve got way bigger fish to fry right now but what the fuck is going on with these two
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