#and the asterisk that's attached to it right now will be gone

[onlythebravest]

it's fascinating how romanticized the image of michael schumacher is, at least when you're new to f1 and don't really know anything other than that he's one of the (if not the) greatest of all times, a record holder and just a legend. but the way ppl talk about him nowadays it's as if they're hiding awat his, let's say it more dirty side. as a driver and teammate that is, not as a person. how ruthless he was, the mindgames he played, how he pushed the limits and stepped over them. drove on the edge like that. short with interviewers/media at times. maybe not always, but it happened. he made f1 change the rulebook. does this remind you of another f1 driver about him as a driver, i only ever heard about his records and all the things he accomplished during his career. which i guess is the only thing that is remembered. and that the more time passes, the controversies are forgotten. to everyone except the ones who were there when it happened or the ones who sit down and actually read about someone

[tribbetherium]

The Middle Glaciocene: 110 million years post-establishment

Tales of Snails: Marine Gastropods of the Middle Glaciocene

Since the beginning of the age of life at the start of the Early Rodentocene, the hamsters had dominated megafaunal niches on the planet as the ecosystem's sole vertebrate, while the shrish-- swimming crustaceans descended from krill-- have flourished in the oceans with the absence of piscine competitors into shoalers, filter-feeders, burrowers and shark-like predators. But for the past 110 million years another clade in the seas had been slowly but surely rising in prominence: the gastropods.

Descended from a few species of marine snails introduced into the waters of HP-02017, indeed, perhaps accidentally as a few dormant eggs that remained attached to the transplanted coral and algae during the planet's founding period, the colder, nutrient-rich waters of the Glaciocene has given this slowly-growing clade a chance to explode into a diversity unlike anything before. Now the gastropods are found in all of the seas and oceans worldwide, in a stunning variety of forms one would never have assumed from their humble ancestors.

Basal forms akin to conches and whelks are very abundant in the shallow-sea reefs, grazing on corals and algae and in turn being food for a wide range of aquatic fauna. Some lineages independently lost their shells, forming a polyphyletic group of "slugs", with one group, the slugworms, developing brilliant coloration and showy displays in a manner quite akin to Earth's nudibranchs. But more remarkable are another group of these shell-less "slugs" that, instead of creeping along on the sea floor, instead become active swimmers that propel themselves through the water with muscular contractions of a membranous fin-like extension of their foot- the pescopods.

Pescopods, in all their diversity, have avoided competition with the shrish with the help of a key gastropod feature: the rasping radula, or toothed tongue, that allow them to file away at tough food that the shrish are less-equipped to deal with. While most shrish are filter feeders, bottom sievers, or active predators, the pescopods gnaw away at floating vegetation, scavenge on sunken carrion, and feed on corals, sponges and hard-shelled bivalves with the help of their unique mouthpart allowing to rasp, scrape, drill and shave their way into a broad range of niches that are less pressured by the shrish.

Among the diversity of gastropods now colonizing the ocean are a diverse array of snails and slugs that, in the vacancy of many niches in the sea have twisted apart the basic gastropod body plan into forms better filling empty marine invertebrate niches. Shallowskimmers (family Ichthyocochlidae) are among the most widespread of the swimming slug-like forms, gathering near the surfaces of shallow tropical seas to feed on algae and water plants, and flourish in such numbers that certain species of marine predators such as shrarks and cricetaceans have specialized to specifically feed on them. Their bigger cousins, the ribbonslugs (family Lemniscochlidae) drift slowly across the open seas in enormously large numbers filtering out algae in a manner akin to the manta rays of Earth's oceans.

While some species of aquatic gastropods became highly active swimmers, other would become bottom feeders that are sessile, or at least nearly so. Quillnobs (family Pennacochlidae) are one such species: originating from a hard-shelled ancestor, these snails have evolved to fuse themselves to a single spot once mature, never to move again. Anchored to the spot by secreted cement derived from the mucous slime coat of most snails, they extend feathery extensions of their gills to trap drifting algae and zooplankton for nourishment. As they no longer move, they tend to cluster in large groups as to easily find a mate, and at times tend to overwhelm reefs and form entirely new biomes made entirely of these strange, barnacle-like creatures.

Some other bottom feeders would take on forms akin to echinoderms--a clade highly diverse in Earth's oceans, but absent here. The asterisks ( family Stellacochlidae) are one such clade of bottom-dwelling, soft-bodied "slugs" whose foot possesses strong muscular extensions that help them anchor themselves to hard objects on the sea floor or on food sources that they feed on. With small, vestigal eyes that can only detect light and dark, asterisks rely mostly on touch, smell and taste to navigate, feeding on whatever they can find at the ocean floor, including algae, sponges, corals and scavenging sunken carrion of shrish and marine hamsters such as seavers, though some asterisks are active predators of hard-shelled prey such as quillnobs, using a specialized radula to drill right into their shells.

But even basal forms can be downright bizarre in their own ways. Of the basal, unremarkable clade of shell-less slugs is one truly bizarre clade that seems almost like an example of evolution gone wrong: the hermit slugs (family Conchomutoridae). Hermit slugs have, over the years, lost their protective shells. But now they have returned to a lifestyle akin to a typical hard-shelled snail, except that instead of being born with a shell of their own, they instead borrow one. Shells of aforementioned whelk or conch-like species are particular favorites, but they are not especially picky: some use broken-off corals, shed shrish exoskeletons, and even the seed pods of coastal-growing cloverferns that end up in the water. And one genus, in its quest for house-hunting, turned to active predation in order to acquire both a house and an easy meal in one: the homewrecker (Casaklepta spp.) which hunts shelled gastropods, harpooning them with specialized neurotoxins, then gradually eats away all the soft tissues of their unlucky victim, leaving only an empty shell--which the homewrecker then moves right into.

But without a doubt the most fascinating and derived of these marine snails are the notiluses (family Gastrocephalopoda), a group of basally-shelled gastropods that have developed six fleshy arms from the anterior portion of their foot, functioning like grasping arms that they use to move about and capture food. Some of the shelled forms are ammonite-like floaters that feed on small shrish and crustaceans, while others are bottom dwellers that use their arms to clamber about on the sea floor.

This lineage would eventually, during the Therocene, spawn a lineage of shell-less active swimmers with rippling foot-fins convergent with the pescopods-- the skwoids (subclade Cochleoteuthidae), which are even more convergent with Earth cephalopods such as octopi and cuttlefish. However, they are distinct in many ways: their eyes, surprisingly well-developed for a snail, are mounted on retractable stalks, their arms, which only have six instead of a cephalopod's eight or ten, are equipped with a single row of rectangular gripping pads as opposed to round suckers, and instead of a hooked beak, possess toothed radulas that are equipped with harpoon-like ends for spearing their prey.

Skwoids are exclusively carnivorous, feeding on shrish, crustaceans, and other snails such as pescopods, and are found in a wide array of aquatic environments. While most live in the sea, a few have ventured into freshwater, and have colonized rivers and streams as well, with freshwater skwoids typically being very small, measuring at most several inches and feeding on small shrish, aquatic insects, and on rare occasion small swimming pondrats as well. They are in turn prey for many other predators as well: and many species defend themselves by squirting a thick, gooey mucous that forms net-like ropy threads that entangle and confuse enemies and allow them to escape.

But in the deep, chilly regions of the southern Centralic Ocean, in the waters surrounding Peninsulaustra, there lives one species that dwarfs them all: the giant skwoid (Craccinus relasi). This deep-water species thrives on the abundance of massive swarms of aphotic-zone pescopods and shoals of shrish that gather at the nutrient-rich upwellings from the deep currents that are a breeding ground for plankton. In this near-abyssal region, relatively free of the air-breathing marine hamsters, the giant skwoid is free to grow to tremendous sizes, straddling the absolute upper limit for an invertebrate: a body length of up to four meters, coupled with six long arms extending up to an additional eight meters tops off its full length to a whopping twelve meters in the largest specimens, though smaller sizes of eight meters or less, with two-meter bodies, are far more common.

With its powerful arms, immense size, and harpoon-like radula, the giant skwoid is a force to be reckoned with: while generally a placid creature, it is a dangerous quarry for even the largest of the predatory shrish to tackle should it lash out when threatened, and for the majority of its existence during the Late Therocene and Early Glaciocene, the giant skwoid enjoyed a relatively safe existence. But as the cold seas of the Glaciocene favored ever-bigger marine hamsters, reaching sizes unlike anything before, the Middle Glaciocene will soon have the giant skwoid finally meet its match-- in the form of the largest marine predator, and largest hamster yet, to live on the planet of HP-02017.

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

[my-autistic-things]

Guess who's making a "how to manage dealing with a massive list of edits" post instead of working on said edits! Me!

Ok so this has taken me FOREVER to really figure out and implement in my life so I thought I'd make a post about it. This is how I deal with getting edits back after sending in a paper (specifically my thesis proposals) to my mentor.

Step 1. Open the document.

This is the absolute hardest step. No seriously. It is. You get the email back, you see the attachment with their initials at the end of the doc name, you know there's edits in there, the email says "here you go! Good work!" That day, ASAP, download that attachment and open it briefly, to scan just how terrifying this task will be.

Step 2. Close it and cry. (Tears are optional but the soul crushing feeling of being on your 5th round of edits is not).

It's okay, deal with it tomorrow. Seriously, go work on something else while you emotionally recover.

Step 3. Mentally prepare yourself to do the edits.

Put it on your to do list for tomorrow. Then when you don't do it, put it on the next day. And the next day. Even when you know it's impossible to get to, put it on there because the stress will build and you'll eventually get to it and Not forget it exists (vvvvv important).

Step 4a. Actually start your edits by opening the doc.

Don't set out like you're going to do everything in one sitting. Open the document with the intention of Starting, not doing. This is a mental battle. Yes battle. Having a good strategy will trump any "smarts" or writing ability you have.

Step 4b. Get out a notebook to write down what you have to do.

If you have do a split screen and can write in a separate document, go ahead, but I found that the absolute only way I can make progress is if I fullscreen my doc and have a notebook and pencil to write stuff down. Now you have 1) doc open, 2) notebook in front of you. Yes these are considered a whole ass step bc they are.

Step 5. Go through and accept all the edits and write down things to do as they come up.

Skip that "read your edits first!" bullshit, you won't, you'll just get stressed, then you gotta reread it all over when you actually start editing. Dive right into dipping your toe in. DO NOT start fully editing. Look at each revision and decide if it's a Quick Fix (i.e. click "accept change" in Word) or a Task. If it's a Quick Fix, go ahead and do it. If it's a Task, even if it's just revising a singular sentence, write it in your notebook. Don't worry about an order/priority/anything, just write everything down. If you're doc is longer than a few pages (mine is 26 so...yeah) write down the page number along with the Task.

Step 6. Organize your Tasks.

Now you have gone through your whole doc and there's no little spelling errors, grammar mistakes, or simple edits to make. And most importantly, you have a list of bigger edits to do, start to group the Tasks. This is when it starts to get super individualized (to you, your paper, and your mood). I start with going through and marking with a line anything I am in the mood for, can do, or should do today (or first, and by first I mean "now" vs "ehhhh later").

Step 7a. Go through your marked Tasks and make more marks.

Only focusing on the initially marked Tasks, start to group them into stuff you can do together. For me, this is any simple info that needs to be inputted or sentences that need editing. My dash next to these Tasks gets turned into plus mark. Note this is the simplest edits I will need to make. You can also designate the initial dash to be its own grouping, but it should naturally end up like that at the end.

Step 7b. Go through marked Tasks again and do the same thing with a different grouping.

Relooking at my dashed Tasks, excluding my + Tasks, I make more groupings. Now it's more time consuming stuff like finding more resources, or rereading sources to be able to accurately edit the sentence. This new group now get more lines to be an asterisk!

Step 7c. Make even more marks!

Can your Tasks be further grouped??? Probably! If you have a short paper, maybe you only have like two groupings, but maybe you have like 5. Who knows! Get creative with your marks! The Tasks I'm designating as last/a lot of work and comprehension are an asterisk with a circle around them. If it's been a few weeks since you asked for edits, you probably will need to work A LOT harder on paragraph and key sentence revisions if you out those first than if you put them after you've been immersed in your topic for a couple hours.

Step 7d-z. Keep making groupings depending how many Tasks you have. I'd suggest keeping it to 2-5 Tasks per group so it's manageable but not excessive. For this particular round of edits, I have 5 groups and that's perfect.

Step 8. Find the easiest/quickest group and do all those Tasks.

My first grouping I made of sentence edits will be the easiest I think, so I'll do that first! If you're motivated and inspired to do a harder group, go for it! But again, do something that will allow you to start really working without being overwhelmed.

Step 9. Cross off all the First Group Tasks you've done!

Yes this is its own step! Cross them all off! You did a good job! Erase them! Get a Sharpie and black that line out of existence! Yay!

Step 10-?. Keep doing the Tasks in each group until you're out of groups and Tasks!

Step 11-?. Cross off the groups and Tasks! Seeing your progress visually makes a big difference! You got this!

Step 12. Read over any non-task comments your teacher/mentor has made and/or your entire paper. Make sure everything makes sense!

Step 13. Save the doc with the date you finished your edits (or fudge it and say sorry forgot to send it to you lol) and send it back to your teacher/mentor (if applicable; if you only get one round and it's not a proposal or something then you'd just submit it). In your email, briefly go over what you did. This is when grouping tasks really comes in handy because I can reference "oh yeah all these edits were x type of edits" and I can say "I accepted all your in-text edits and made the sentence changes you suggested. Additionally, I added abc sources and rearranged the order of the paragraphs specified." This also avoids your mentor re-reading everything and giving you MORE edits on everything (bc they will; this round my mentor is editing his own words from past sentence edits at various places lol) and just focusing on the key changes you made and need feedback on.

Step 14. Take a nap! Seriously! Reward yourself for doing such a Big Thing and take a break! Don't immediately go onto the next assignment, make sure your brain separates *chunk of edits* from *other simpler assignments* so it isn't mentally a whole block of *work*.

I hope this helps somewhat??? Or someone can reference this when coming up with a way to tackle feedback that works for them. I'm starting grad school next year (hopefully) which will actually be a reduction in long-term research projects lmao but I will be having more Giant papers that will receive feedback. Having a system, or knowing options is so incredibly helpful for me because when I read what other people do I can be like "nope not doing that" and it can help narrow down what would work for me. Most importantly, just break up your work into a lot of different sections! It helps with (poor) executive functioning, motivation, and brings it out visually so you can mentally tackle what you're doing instead of "ahhh ~lots of edits~"

[wickymicky]

Hey I was wondering if you can talk a little about each of the members weki meki's personalities? I want to start getting into them more

ooooh! sure thing!

so first is Suyeon, the leader, who they jokingly refer to as “hyung” because she’s kind of a bro, lol. i love that about her. she’s cool, she’s weird, she’s a perfect leader for this goofy ass group. like a lot of main vocalists, she also doesn’t seem to care that much for some of the intricacies of being an idol haha. she cares about her image to an extent, just as any person in that situation would, but by comparison to other idols lmao Suyeon seems like she doesnt give a flying fuck whatsoever haha. which is awesome. she’s kind of known for swearing on camera without thinking about it, and messing around with the other members and laughing riotously. but also, i can’t finish this without talking about how great a leader she is. she’s not necessarily good at reining in their chaos, especially when she starts the chaos, but she is good at bringing out the best in all of them and they all trust her completely. when theyre just hanging out, she can be kinda casual and forget to be a leader, leading to members like Rina exasperatedly telling them to quit goofing off haha. but when theyre doing idol stuff like performances or shows, Suyeon takes charge and takes care of them.

Elly is silly too lol. Suyeon wasn’t part of the original predebut lineup when it was first announced, and Elly probably would have been the leader in that case, so she has some leader-like qualities too! the members have talked about how she took care of them when they were trainees and stuff. but... i feel like since she’s not the leader, she’s free to be even sillier, and she’s relishing in that freedom lol. 

Yoojung is a little ball of energy, especially back closer to their debut. she’s actually mellowed out a lot over the years, but that tends to happen when you hit your 20s lol. she can still be a ball of wild chaotic energy though. she’s surprisingly introspective too though, and she can be really hard on herself, but that’s related i think to just how passionate she is about what she does. i could say a lot more about her obviously, but i’ll stop here haha

people who dont really know them sometimes think that Doyeon doesnt seem to fit in at first glance, and in some videos she kinda spaces out while everyone else is talking, but she fits in a lot better than they realize. she’s just as weird as any of them, she’s just like... introverted lol. and busy, and tired. but when she has fun with them, she goes just as crazy as everyone else, if not moreso sometimes lmao

Sei is great, she’s been described as being like human green tea lol. she talks kinda slowly, which is endearing haha. she’s just a relaxing person. but she also has another layer of being kinda savage or chaotic too a little bit, especially i think in her friendship with Doyeon, which can kinda be one of those “Tom and Jerry�� friendships sometimes

Lua is interesting because her newfound confidence and attention-grabbing look are a really cool development, but her personality hasnt really changed, which is good. she’s probably the goofiest member of this goofy ass group. she and Yoojung are the “mood-makers”, because theyre always bouncing off walls and dancing and yelling lol. Lua’s so cartoony sometimes, but in the best possible way. i wonder if people whose first impression of her is her short dark green hair have any idea how much of a total dork she is haha

Rina is the most softspoken member of the group haha. i feel like she’s often the voice of reason. she’s probably the most “normal” member... but like, i said “most normal”, i didnt say “normal” haha. she can still get wild, she’s a member of Weki Meki after all. to be honest though, Rina’s the member i feel like i personally know the least about, because she doesn’t seem to jump into the fray as much as the others, and i’ve only been diving into more extra content like Weki Meki Mohae (their reality show from 2018), so i’m starting to get a better idea of what she’s like, but i’m not fully there yet. all i know is that i like her lol

Lucy is another member who i’m not super knowledgeable about actually. i tend to not know as much about the maknae lines of the groups i stan lol. she’s one of those maknae-on-top types though, i think. she’s the second tallest member and that makes her friendship with Doyeon interesting lol, especially cause Lucy is also really coming into her own as a visual. she’s learning from the best, i guess haha. i feel like Lucy is often getting into the fray and shenanigans, she’s a lively person. 

I’ve only been stanning them for like a year, so if there are any OG kilings who wanna correct me on any of this or add to this, lmk!

a year ago, i had been into them for a little while, but i could not have answered this question. i could have told you about Yoojung and a little bit about Suyeon and Lua, and theyre still the three whose personalities i feel like i have the best understanding of, but i didnt really know that much about most of them. i listed Weki Meki as one of my ult groups, and i made “wickymicky” my url, primarily because I love Picky Picky and Yoojung became one of my ult biases really quickly, but i felt kind of guilty because i feel like i didnt really know the group well enough to put them on that level. i felt like every time i listed them as one of my favorite groups, i had to have an asterisk attached to it that said that i dont really know them that well. there are a lot of posts where i did that on this blog back then osdkflmskdgf. 

but, like, as time has gone on, it’s become more and more true. when i first started listing them as one of my favorites, i don’t think i was lying, but it’s definitely more true now than it was then, you know? i listed them as like my #5 group or something, and now they’re my #2, and the gap between them and my #1 is actually pretty small now. i feel like i actually do know and appreciate all 8 members now, so when i say “ahhhh i love her” in the tags when i reblog a member, i actually like... mean it now. lol. the only thing i can think of is that i picked up on Weki Meki’s vibe really early on, and i knew that they would end up as one of my ults, but i just hadn’t really learned enough to back that up at that point. well, i have now, and i was right the whole time lol. my gut instinct was correct, i knew that i would love them, and i do <3

[patchwork-panda]

If A Moment Is All We Are (7/?) (Dazai x OC fic)

AO3 format: HERE

(Early publish for Dazai’s Bday)

For funsies: I recommend finding the asterisk (*) at the end of the chapter and playing the 1st ED from Bungo Stray Dogs (link) when you get to it so the ED plays as you finish reading the scene. :)

                                                               ---

Dazai got to his feet.

The girl pointed wordlessly to the window and the apparition behind her charged. I had a split second to duck behind the desk for cover but for some reason, my left arm wasn’t coming with me. Panicking, I pulled as hard as I could, completely forgetting Dazai and I were still handcuffed together. I heard a strangled yell and looked to my left just in time to see Dazai crashing into me.

We fell behind the desk in a tangled heap as the wall before us was sliced to pieces and the apparition burst into the room in a shower of shattered glass and rubble. Swearing, I shoved Dazai off of me and pushed myself to a crouching position behind the desk as Dazai groaned and did the same. As we hid behind the desk together, I heard the little girl’s quiet voice call out into the empty office.

“I know you’re here.”

I peeked through the tiny gap between the desk and the floor and saw a pair of small, sandal-clad feet touch down on the broken green tiles.

“Come out,” the girl called again, her voice as cold as ice. “Detective Dazai.”

I shot Dazai a look and he immediately flinched.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he whispered.

“Why does she know your name?” I shot back.

“There! Yasha Shirayuki!”

Out the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of blue and looked up to see the apparition, “Shirayuki,” looming over us, her sword raised high in the air, the fine edge of its blade glinting in the sun.

“Shit.”

Before I could react, I felt Dazai grab the back of my shirt, half-choking me as he hauled me away by the scruff of my neck, mere milliseconds before the demon’s katana sliced down and split the desk in two. Binders and office supplies flew everywhere as the desk collapsed and through the blizzard-like storm of loose paper and pens, I saw the creature rise and turn those yellow eyes on me. I stood.

“This way!” Dazai and I shouted in unison.

Forgetting once again that we were handcuffed together, I ran left while Dazai went right; we were pulled back together in an instant. This time, no one fell, but once again, Dazai had to yank me out of the way of Shirayuki’s sword as it rushed towards us. Thinking fast, I grabbed the thick, cushy chair I’d sat on during my test and shoved it at Shirayuki as it struck. The katana plunged deep into the chair, where I’d just been standing, with a horrible ripping noise and as I watched it struggle to pull the sword back out, I realized Shirayuki was stuck. At once, I turned to Dazai and pulled him towards the door.

“Now’s our chance! Let’s get out of here!”

As we ran down the aisle between the desks, I heard the unmistakable sound of steel scratching against thick fabric and plastic; Shirayuki was slowly getting free. Instead of looking back, I ran faster.

“Dazai-san, why is she after you?” I gasped, struggling to keep up with the man’s long strides. “What the hell did you do?”

Dazai thought for a moment.

“I may or may not have put her in jail last month,” he answered, sounding rather nonplussed. “Her name is Izumi Kyouka, by the way. She was an assassin for the Port Mafia.”

“How did she escape?!” I yelped.

Dazai shrugged and I groaned.

So that’s what the morning phone call had been about. Dazai was rushing me through the end of my exam so he could get us out of here before the assassin, Kyouka, arrived. Unfortunately, it hadn’t worked and now I was handcuffed to him and running for my life for the second time in a week. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, an enormous mahogany desk went sailing over our heads and crashed into the far wall, blocking off our exit and sealing us inside the room.

“Shit!”

My sneakers screeched against the tiles as I struggled to go from a full sprint to a full stop and I stumbled awkwardly over my own two feet, almost crashing into a nearby desk. I felt the tug on my wrist as Dazai was pulled back to me and I planted my feet firmly on the ground to avoid being yanked towards him. I felt a sudden rush of wind behind me and I whirled just in time to see Shirayuki preparing to strike.

“Kusunoki-san!”

Seizing my handcuffed wrist, Dazai suddenly turned on his heel and pivoted, swinging me around and instantly trading places with me so that Shirayuki missed. I looked back to see Shirayuki bearing down on Dazai, who was just standing there with his free hand extended towards her.

“What are you doing?!” I screamed.

Shirayuki swung.

There was a flash of blue light and a strong blast of wind and I threw up my hand to shield my eyes. Through my splayed fingers, I saw Shirayuki being held at bay—by some kind of invisible barrier just beyond Dazai’s outstretched fingers. As she struggled to pierce through that barrier, her sword slowly sank, bloodlessly and quietly, into Dazai’s open palm, into nothing, disappearing as smoothly as a body into water. I blinked and she was gone.

He nullified it?! Was Yasha Shirayuki actually this girl’s Ability...?

But before I could figure out what had happened, Kyouka rushed in, a kodachi short sword clutched in both hands. She swung.

“Dazai-san!!”

Without thinking, I grabbed Dazai’s shackled wrist with both hands and pulled as hard as I could, yanking him backwards and out of the way of Kyouka’s attack. I watched her blade slice through the air, missing Dazai’s nose by mere millimeters, clipping the ends of his bangs as he fell backwards—and into a chair.

He smacked his head against the arm rest and promptly passed out.

I winced.

“Oops...”

As Dazai slid off the chair and onto the floor, I felt his weight suddenly drag me down and I staggered. I barely managed to catch myself on the desktop in time to avoid being pulled down as well but as I did, I banged the end of my elbow—my funny bone��into something dense and metallic. At once, a horrible tingling sensation spread down my forearm and into the tips of my fingers and as I hissed in pain and turned back to see what I’d hit, I saw the shiny metal and plastic surface of a fancy-looking coffee machine.

The red light on the side was flashing and it looked like the water in the steam chamber was full and piping hot. This gave me an idea.

I stood up as much as I could with Dazai’s weight still pulling painfully on my thin, handcuffed wrist and faced forward as Kyouka ran towards me, making no attempt to move out of the way of her attack. Propped up unsteadily with my one sweaty, free hand, I stood there, waiting until Kyouka was right in front of me, kodachi pulled back, ready to strike. At the last moment, I let go, smashing down on the big red switch attached to the steam chamber as I fell to the floor. It broke off completely as Kyouka’s blade thrust into the machine, releasing a cloud of blinding white steam; she let out a high-pitched shriek as she let go of her weapon and threw out a crimson sleeve to protect her face.

With Kyouka temporarily distracted, I dragged Dazai behind the hedges and propped him up to a sitting position against the cement block. He still looked a little dazed but at least now he was conscious.

“I’m so sorry! Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?”

Dazai grinned weakly.

“Not nearly enough. Could you do me a favor and finish me off?”

I rolled my eyes and sat down heavily next to him, my shackled wrist rattling in its metal prison as I brought my hands to my face.

“If you’re well enough to joke, help me think of a way to escape. First we gotta get out of these handcuffs. Do you still have the key?”

Dazai shook his head.

“It actually fell out of my pocket the first time you knocked me to the floor,” he said with a sheepish grin.

I thought I was going to cry. As I contemplated throwing myself out of the enormous hole in the office wall, Dazai thought to himself and suddenly snapped his fingers.

“Wait! Kunikida-kun should have a spare key! The President gave him one in case something happened to the first key and I couldn’t unlock you when your exam ended.”

Kunikida was supposed to come by? A flicker of hope burst to life in my chest.

“What if you called him or any of the other detectives for backup?” I asked. “We can’t deal with Kyouka on our own but maybe—!”

“Yeah, about that...”

Dazai jabbed a thumb behind us at the wrecked office space.

“My phone also fell out of my pocket when you pulled me out of there earlier.”

“Oh my God, you’re useless!”

I took one look at the enormous desk blocking the main doorway and shook my head. It was completely broken down to the point where it was actually sagging in the middle, with drawers hanging out every which way and a considerable debris field around it to boot. There was no way Dazai and I could get that thing out of the way and escape before Kyouka recovered her weapon or her Ability. Dazai’s phone may still be in the room but from where we were sitting, it might as well have been on the moon.

I was about to consider breaking down one of the unknown doors in the room when I spotted something glittering on the floor next to me: a single, gold bobby pin. I had never picked a lock in my life but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Quick as a flash, I snatched up the bobby pin and was about to insert it into the lock, when Dazai’s fingers suddenly wrapped around mine.

“Kusunoki-san.”

Dazai’s voice was low, his brown eyes serious.

“What are you doing?”

I blinked at him.

“Saving our lives. We’re never going to escape handcuffed together like this—”

“Didn’t you hear what I said earlier?” Dazai asked. “Your exam ends the moment someone takes off those handcuffs. If you do unlock these on your own right now, you will fail the exam and lose your chance to become a member of the Agency.”

His fingers tightened around mine.

“If you do this, you’ll never learn the secret to controlling your Ability. Do you understand?”

I felt a chill creep into my blood as his tone sank in. My hand shook in his grip.

“Are you serious?”

“Completely serious,” Dazai replied. “You can’t become a member if you—”

“Our lives are in danger and you’re still talking about the exam?” I snapped, furious. “You know what? Screw you. And screw this exam, too! If the Armed Detective Agency is going to prioritize rules over the lives of its detectives, it’s not worth getting into! Now let go of me so I can save your stupid life!”

I tore my hand out of his grip.

But before I could jam the gold hairpin into the lock, I saw a tell-tale flash of blue light out of the corner of my eye. Shirayuki was back and in seconds, a shadow appeared above our heads. We threw ourselves out of the way just in time as a massive swivel chair came crashing down over the hedge.

The hairpin flew out of my hands.

As we landed heavily just before the large, broken desk that was blocking the main door, I spotted a large pair of scissors on the ground. Its metal blades were open and exposed, and it was lying just two centimeters away from my free hand.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Shirayuki flying towards us, her sword shining like lightning in her hands and I grabbed the scissors. If I couldn’t unlock the handcuffs myself, then I’d need someone else to cut them off for me...!

“Dazai-san! Lift up your arm and pull the chain tight! Hurry!”

Snapping the scissors closed, I wrapped my cuffed hand around the blades and the free one around the handles, gripping the scissors tightly in my fists. As I raised my hands up high, Dazai’s bandaged arm lifted into the air with mine and I saw him nod slightly as he pulled his imprisoned wrist away from mine.

The metal chain between us went taut and I gritted my teeth and braced myself. If this went wrong, then not even Yosano would be able to patch us up afterwards. My heart pounding in my chest, I stared into Shirayuki’s soulless yellow eyes as she brought her sword down.

The resounding screech of metal-against-metal rang out throughout the wreckage of the office as Shirayuki’s sword clashed against my scissors. Sparks flew and I felt my body sink into the tiles as the sheer weight of Shirayuki’s attack forced my arms down—but this was exactly what I’d hoped for.

I yanked my left hand down. Shirayuki’s sword slid down the side of the scissor blades and into the handcuff chain—which snapped.

Wind rushed past my ear as the sword crashed to the ground and I let out a soft cry of pain as I felt the blade graze the side of my forearm on its way down. There was blood dripping down my forearm but the chain was broken.

I was free.

Taking advantage of the lightness in my arm, I quickly changed my grip around the scissors, trying to wield it the way I’d seen Kyouka handle her kodachi.

But Shirayuki had vanished—nullified, no doubt, by Dazai’s Ability, just like before. Which could only mean Kyouka and her kodachi were on their way...

“Get out of here, Dazai-san! She’s after you, not me.”

I shoved him towards the door closest to us—the door to the infirmary—as Kyouka dashed out between the break in the hedges and ran towards us.

Looks like I was never going to learn the secret to controlling my Ability.

“Run!”

I turned around just in time to raise my scissors to parry, but Kyouka was too fast for me. She swung and my scissors went flying through the air.

The next thing I knew, I was on my back.

Kyouka’s sandal-clad foot was planted squarely on my sternum, pinning me to the floor. The edge of her kodachi was lined up perfectly with the major arteries in my neck and I knew instinctively that if I took a single breath, she’d slice open my neck and leave me to bleed out all over the floor.

I squeezed my eyes shut and waited—for the flash of pain, the instant death that I’d seen played out so many times for so many others...

My only regret was not getting a chance to pay Kunikida back for saving my life that day.

At least Dazai had managed to get away...

“Beautiful! Excellent!”

My eyes snapped open.

“Dazai-san?!”

He was standing in front of the door to the infirmary, the door I thought he’d escaped out of—and he was clapping.

“Good job, Kyouka-chan! That’s a wrap,” he called out, as if he was the director of a movie and we had just finished filming the climactic finale.

Confused, I looked from him to Kyouka and to my surprise, she carefully removed her sword and got off of me.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, sheathing her kodachi and tucking it into the folds of her kimono.

“What’s going on?” I asked, as Kyouka extended her tiny hand toward me to help me up. “You’re not going to kill me?”

Kyouka shook her head.

As I took her hand and let her haul me to my feet, Dazai approached, still clapping enthusiastically.

“Ohh, that was great. Seriously, what a way to end your Entrance Exam, Kusunoki-san. I have goosebumps, I tell you—goosebumps! See, look!”

He hiked up the sleeve of his coat over the rest of his arm... only to reveal that the entire thing was wrapped up in bandages. Clicking his tongue in disappointment, he pulled his sleeve back down and tucked his hands into his pockets.

“Exam?” I stuttered. “Wait, it’s actually over? But I didn’t finish the...”

Dazai let out a dramatic, disappointed sigh.

“Oh my goodness, Kusunoki-san. You didn’t really think that worthless packet I gave you at the beginning was your Entrance Exam, did you?”

My jaw hit the ground.

“WHAT?! But you acted so serious about it—! You said it wasn’t over until—!”

“Oh, that?” Dazai quipped. “That was just to throw you off. Kyouka-chan here was your real test. We wanted to see how you would act in a crisis! And you gave us such a beautiful performance! Really, I was moved—”

“Wait, hold on! Hold on!”

I threw my hands in the air to make a giant “time-out” sign.

“Who’s ‘we?!’”

Dazai grinned triumphantly. He walked up to one of the closed office doors, the one closest to the hole in the wall that Kyouka had opened up and put his hand on the doorknob.

“Allow me to bring out our panel of judges!”

He turned the knob. The door opened and out walked two men, one of whom I recognized immediately as Kunikida, who had already pulled out that little green notebook from inside his pocket and was scribbling furiously into it. The other...

“Well done, Kusunoki Kyou-san. I’d expect no less from one who seeks to join the Armed Detective Agency.”

He was much older than both Dazai and Kunikida, with long, shoulder length white hair and was dressed in a moss-colored yukata, with a black haori jacket trimmed in gold draped elegantly over his shoulders. He kept his hands tucked neatly into his sleeves, a katana hanging loosely at his side, and as he crossed the room, Kunikida followed at a respectable distance. I didn’t know who this man was but his very presence commanded respect and I could feel an air of nobility and quiet strength radiating from him from all the way across the room.

“Let’s give a big hand to our leading lady for a spectacular performance!” Dazai exclaimed, gesturing to me like an overly excitable hype man.

He stole Kunikida’s pen and held it to the unknown man’s face, as if this person were a celebrity he was interviewing for a magazine.

“What did you think, President? Was it to your liking?”

I felt the air evaporate out of my lungs.

“President?” I choked. “As in the President of the Armed Detective Agency?”

“The one and only Fukuzawa Yukichi!” Dazai affirmed, turning to me with a grin just before Kunikida took back his pen and punched Dazai in the face.

“Dazai...!”

In his rage, Kunikida could barely get the words out from between his gritted teeth. His hands shook as he gripped his fountain pen and my vindictive amusement at seeing Dazai punched turned into alarm as the pen snapped in half in Kunikida’s closed fist, showering his beige clothes in a spray of black ink.

“I know we wanted to test her courage but this is too much, even for you!”

Throwing out an arm, he gestured wildly to the destroyed office.

“Just look at this place! At our new coffee machine! I know we haven’t been raided in over three months but that’s no excuse for damage of this scale. With this, our budget surplus has turned into a deficit! And you!”

He rounded on Kyouka, who bowed gracefully.

“What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I apologize for the damage, Kunikida-san,” she said quietly, the ends of her long black pigtails nearly sweeping the floor as she inclined her head. “Dazai-san told me I should, quote: ‘go wild, we want to scare her half to death—’”

“So this is your fault? Why am I not surprised?!” Kunikida spat, grabbing Dazai by the collar. He pulled the bandaged man off the floor where he had landed and shook him like a ragdoll, yelling the entire time.

“Excuse me, Kusunoki-san?”

I jumped as Kyouka suddenly appeared at my side. She sounded timid, even apologetic as she hesitantly reached for my injured arm, where the blood had only just begun to clot and without meaning to, I covered it with my other hand, the chain rattling noisily as I moved.

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” she whispered guiltily, lowering her eyes. “May I take you to the infirmary?”

If she had seemed small before, she was even tinier up close; the top of her head barely reached my eyes. With her head bowed and her lip tucked between her teeth, it was hard to believe this little girl, barely old enough to enter high school, had pointed a blade at my throat and spent the last several minutes trying to kill me—pretending to try to kill me (I hoped)...

“I’ll be okay,” I assured her, trying to put a smile on my face although to be honest, I was still pretty wary of her, “It’s just a cut. It’ll heal.”

Pink flooded her cheeks as she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank goodness,” she sighed, bringing a hand to her chest and gripping the tiny cell phone that hung around her neck. “I really didn’t want to hurt you, Kusunoki-san. You just surprised me...”

“I think she surprised everyone,” Fukuzawa said, approaching me. “Kusunoki-kun...”

His eyes sharpened.

“Did you say my Agency was not worth getting into?”

My blood ran cold. At once, I threw myself on the ground, slapping my forehead down on the crushed tiles so hard that I probably gave myself another cut.

“Kusunoki-san?!” Kunikida squawked in surprise.

“I can explain!” I shouted, squeezing my eyes shut, sweat pouring down my forehead. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to insult the Agency, it’s just—in the heat of the moment—!”

“Don’t worry about it,” Fukuzawa rumbled. “You passed, after all.”

I lifted my head off the ground. I could still feel some of the rubble sticking to my forehead as Kunikida ran over to help me up. I waved him away and gawped at Fukuzawa.

“Eh?”

“And I agree with you. If the Armed Detective Agency really was the type of organization to prioritize rules over the lives of its detectives, it truly wouldn’t be worth joining” Fukuzawa declared, “In fact, we would be no better than the Port Mafia.”

He stopped before me as I regained my footing and considered me, his expression thoughtful.

“It’s not often that we get a potential recruit who has not one, but two recommendations from top detectives. I’ll admit, when your real test started, I had trouble understanding why both Dazai-kun and Kunikida-kun vouched for you.”

I glanced up at Dazai and Kunikida, the former lying on the ground, seemingly still in stitches, and the latter now standing over my desk with exam in hand, looking increasingly irritated.

“The Exam was indeed designed to draw out your response to fear,” Fukuzawa continued, “but you spent a considerable amount of time running away...”

I felt shame color my cheeks as he continued.

“However, when Dazai-kun appeared to be injured, you didn’t allow your fear to paralyze you. Instead, you demonstrated a level of resourcefulness and courage befitting a member of the Agency and you did everything you could to save Dazai-kun, at the risk of your own life.”

His expression softened.

“There are certain qualities we value at the Agency and you’ve proven today that you can overcome your own shortcomings and rise to the challenge. We don’t always take in those who have been targeted by the Port Mafia...”

Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Kyouka twitch.

“But we will make exceptions for the right people.”

He turned on his heel and walked back into his own office.

“You officially start tomorrow and you’ll be assigned a desk after my subordinates have finished cleaning the place up. I expect you to become a fine member of the Agency in due time, Kusunoki-kun.”

Dazai, Kunikida, Kyouka and I bowed in unison as Fukuzawa took his leave and he had almost completely disappeared into the confines of his office when I suddenly remembered what I needed to ask.

“Wait! President Fukuzawa!”

He turned to look over his shoulder at me, his silver eyes piercing. I swallowed nervously and pushed the words out of my mouth.

“I was told that I could learn to control my Ability once I joined the Agency. How does that work?”

Fukuzawa folded his hands back into his sleeves and studied me.

“You already have it,” he said simply, surprising me. “My Ability, ‘All Men Are Created Equal,’ grants my subordinates control of their Gifts. Control was granted to you the moment you passed the exam.”

I thought for a moment.

“Wait, so there’s no secret? But Dazai-san suggested...”

There was a pause. Then all eyes in the room turned to the bandaged detective, who wouldn’t meet my gaze. Something clicked.

“You were just messing with me, weren’t you?”

“Kusunoki-kun,” Fukuzawa called, stopping me before I could run over and punch Dazai myself. “I’ll be entrusting your care to the two detectives who recommended you until you get used to things around here. You can stay and help clean up if you wish but given your circumstances, I will ask Kunikida-kun to walk you home at the end of today. Then, please excuse me.”

The door closed at last. Kunikida turned to me and adjusted his glasses.

“I had ‘buying supplies’ on my schedule for today and could use an extra pair of hands. Did you want to come?”

I nodded and was about to follow when I felt my wrist snag on something.

“Oh, hang on, Kunikida-san?”

I lifted up my left arm, the silver handcuff still encircling my wrist.

“Do you think you could unlock me first?”

Kunikida raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t have the key,” he said bluntly.

I heard a click and as one, we turned to Dazai, who had unlocked his own handcuffs and was coming towards me to unlock mine. The moment I saw the small, silver key pinched delicately between his fingers, I lost it.

“You had the key all along?!” I roared as Kunikida took a step back from me and covered his ears. “We could have gone through the second half of the test without being handcuffed together and you—you just—!”

“Now, now, Kusunoki-kun,” Dazai drawled as he deftly inserted the key and began to twist it back and forth. The lock clicked sharply and the cuffs fell open.

“I did tell you that the handcuffs were a very important part of your exam. I needed some way to make sure you didn’t get too far away from me. After all, if your Ability had randomly manifested during the exam, you would have passed out and then...”

His lips twisted into a sadistic grin.

“Kyouka-chan might’ve actually killed you.”

I could hear Kyouka moving about the room, cleaning up the debris that had been created with Shirayuki at her side and I glared up at Dazai as I rubbed my aching wrist. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. He had done his best to keep me safe during the test... even though I’d undermined him the whole way through by panicking, running off and even knocking him out once...

And I’d just repaid him by yelling at him in front of his coworkers. Taking advantage of (and compounding) my guilt, Dazai slowly reached for my injured arm and deftly wrapped a bandage around my cut.

I couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Hey... Dazai?”

I felt my face grow hot.

“Thanks for looking after me. And... I’m sorry about your head.”

The room grew quiet. And then, Dazai chuckled. *

* “It was my pleasure, Kyou-chan,” he replied smoothly, his brown eyes glittering as he gave my hand a squeeze.

“Spending an entire morning with you was thanks enough. Perhaps now you’ll think better of me and one day consider joining me in a—”

“That’s enough, Dazai,” Kunikida interrupted irritably. “You’re going to stay here and clean up this mess—and don’t you dare leave Kyouka-chan to do it on her own when this entire thing was your fault!”

He guided me towards the door, his glasses flashing.

“And Kusunoki-kun, we really need to talk about your written exam. I know it wasn’t your real test but you missed every math question I wrote—those were at high school level—”

“You wrote those?!”

“Bye, Kyou-chan!” Dazai called after me as I was pushed out into the hall. His smile was wide and oddly infectious and I could see Kyouka waving quietly from behind him.

“See you later! Welcome to the Armed Detective Agency!!”

[dottie-wan-kenobi]

hi !! uhm so i just saw your lil bingo card thing on Ao3 and i wanted to know if you would write the panic attack on ab Duke and Jason (Duke being the one to have it) thanks in advance love 💕

Here you are! Thank you right back for the prompt, and I hope you like it

Written for the @badthingshappenbingo square “Panic Attack”. X’s are finished, asterisks are requested, and the rest are free!!

---

Duke takes a bite of his ice cream, settling back into his seat. Ever since he first got officially fostered by Bruce, it’s been difficult to go out without the paparazzi hounding after him. He hasn’t been able to come back here, his favorite ice cream place, in months and he’s missed it more than he thought he would. Smiling happily, he scoops another bite off the top. He can’t help but hum at the taste of the fudge topping. He never could afford it before, and though he doesn’t love using Bruce’s money, why not take advantage here? It’s just fudge.

Jason sits across from him, licking absently at his ice cream cone. He’d offered to bring Duke out, saying, “If we’re brothers now, I should probably get to know you, don’t you think?”

And, well. Yeah. The good thing about Jason? He’s still legally dead, meaning that, other than a few paparazzi who are always trying to get pictures of him, there’s a lot less attention on them. Also, when Duke said, “Wanna get ice cream?”, Jason said, “Hell yeah.”

Usually when Duke asks that, it’s to Damian, who has lots of feelings about dairy products.

Anyway, it’s nice to just sit and chill. Jason doesn’t force conversation, but he listens when Duke speaks, and it’s really all he can ask for. (Something they don’t tell you about being brought into a big family? The daily fights for attention. Duke is still learning how to win.)

“How’s yours?” Duke asks, eyeing the Rocky Road Jason had ordered. He’s never had it before, but according to Cass, it’s a family favorite, so he’s curious.

Jason tunes back in, shrugging. “Pretty good. This place is way better than the kind we usually get. How’d you find it?”

“Grew up three streets over. We’d come here every weekend we could afford it.”

“Nice,” Jason says, and he sounds sincere. “You always get that monstrosity, or is it new?”

Grinning, he exclaims, “Hey, tutti frutti isn’t a monstrosity!”

“It’s healthy ice cream. Such a thing shouldn’t exist,” Jason replies seriously. “It’s a freak of nature.”

“Is not,” Duke says. After a quick bite, he continues, “And to answer your question, yes, I always got this here. No one else does it as good as they do.”

“I bet Alfie could.”

“Oh, don’t bring him into this!” Duke laughs.

Smirking, Jason asks, “Scared to talk shit about his food?”

“Hell no! I just. I don’t want to compare that and this.” He doesn’t want to say why—that while Alfred’s food is delicious, this ice cream is more special than any the butler could ever make. This ice cream has good memories of his parents attached to it, and he’s holding onto as many of those as he can. “They’re just—different.”

Jason doesn’t respond for a second, just looks at him. Then he licks at where it’s dripping down his fingers. “I get it. I love his noodles, but nothing can beat box mac and cheese. Me and my mom used to eat that all the time.”

Unsure if he’s allowed to ask—or if he even wants to, knowing from the others that Jason’s mom isn’t someone they’re supposed to talk about—Duke says, “Man, I’m glad you’re around. The others just don’t get it. Gourmet shit is good, but like, yeah, nothing beats Kraft.”

“You should talk to Steph,” Jason says, reaching his free hand out for a fist bump. “She argues with Tim and Dick about stuff like this all the time.”

Duke returns the fist bump, feeling like he’s the coolest kid on the block. Okay, that’s cheesy as hell, but whatever. It’s nice to be around Jason, who’s his cool older brother. Foster brother. Whatever.

Before he can reply, the worker behind the counter turns up the TV in the corner loud enough everyone in the shop can hear it. Where they’re sitting, they have to half-turn to see it properly.

On the screen, one of the local news people is giving a report on the latest Joker toxin incident. It was a few days ago now, and Duke thankfully hadn’t had to help with containing it.

“The last of the antidotes have been administered,” the news person says. “Other than the three deaths which occurred soon after the victims were brought to the hospital, no other deaths are being reported. GCPD is still recommending wearing face masks in the area….”

And okay, maybe there’s a reason Duke didn’t help out with it. It took place right around dusk, when Duke was heading home and the others were coming out. He’d been around when it happened, much closer than the rest. The crazed laughter that had filled the street has been plaguing his dreams the past few nights.

Bruce says Duke shouldn’t force himself to face the Joker. He says it could just make everything worse, and Duke knows now that he was right.

Seeing the accompanying videos to go along with the report, Duke is thrown right back to being a child. To watching his parents get infected, worse than those people were, and hearing as they laughed. His mom’s laugh was loud and she snorted all the time. His dad’s was wheezy and low pitched. Except, that day they were totally different, like something out of his worst nightmares. Maniacal and dangerous and empty.

“Duke?” Jason asks, but Duke hardly hears him. He’s tuned out, the background noise from the shop being replaced by the sound of his heart beating in his ears.The day before he lost his parents, they came here. Mom got cookies and creme, Dad got strawberry, and Duke got tutti frutti. They sat in a booth, and Duke kicked his heels against the seat, too short to reach the ground. Dad got ice cream on his nose, and Mom laughed and she took a picture.

The next day, they were gone. Not dead, he doesn’t think, doesn’t know, but gone. Never to be seen again. Because of that goddamn clown.

Someone takes the cup of ice cream out of his hand, and he hears Jason say, “You’re gonna make a huge mess, so let’s just put that down, okay?”

His chest hurts. He wonders what was going through his parents’ heads when they descended to the sewers, high and insane. Were they scared? Did they think they were going to die? Did they think about him?

“He’s fine, just back off,” Jason says, somewhere, and Duke ducks his head, trying to breathe. Why is it so hard to breathe? It was easy a few moments ago. Minutes? He doesn’t know.

There’s a hand on his back and on his chest, and they force him to sit up straight. His arm gets tucked against a chest, and he can feel it moving up and down. Then Jason says, “Come on, breathe with me, okay? You got this, man. Just do it with me.”

It takes ages, he thinks, to come down. To come back to earth, to his favorite ice cream place, where people are looking at him. Jason is next to him, stooped really low in a position that must kill his ankles, but he doesn’t complain.

Searching Duke’s eyes, he asks, “You good?”

That’s another unofficial rule around the family—no one ever asks that unless it’s serious. Unless they expect an honest answer and won’t take any bullshit. But he doesn’t want to say anything here, not when he can see the camera phones pointed their way. Being spotted is already inconvenient at the best of times, which this definitely isn’t.

Jason seems to understand. He stands up straight, sighing in relief. His ice cream is gone, and Duke doesn’t ask. Just stands with him and grabs his own cup, wanting to get the hell out.

He shouldn’t have come. He should’ve known better. It’s too close to the anniversary, too hot off the heels of the last incident. It’s been so long, he could’ve waited. He should’ve waited.

Jason pulls him outside, leading them right for the car he borrowed from Bruce. They don’t speak as they get in, Jason in the driver’s seat.

“You’re not gonna ask?” Duke says after a few minutes, feeling like he’s going to throw up, either from the attack or the anticipation.

“None of my business,” Jason replies, shooting him a kind look. “If you wanna talk, you can. But it doesn’t seem like you do.”

“I don’t.” And he doesn’t. He wants to go back to his room in the Manor and he wants to pretend this never happened. Wants to ignore the headlines and the concerned looks from everyone. But—”Uh. Thanks. For being cool, I mean.”

Duke winces at how he sounds, wondering if Jason will think he’s some stupid kid now. He doesn’t think he’ll be surprised if that’s the case.

Jason shrugs, reaching out a second later to give a friendly punch to Duke’s shoulder. “That’s what Robins for, you know? Being cool.”

Duke blinks. And then he laughs, and it feels good, cleansing. “Hell yeah.”

[joeyvoeman]

Joey and Cassie take a trip out of town for their first official date.

@cassiegermaine

Joey was a hopeless romantic. He knew this. He wasn’t sure if it was a product of his era or simply how he’d always been. Either way, he’d planned a bit of a surprise for Cassie tonight. He’d told her he was coming and a vague idea of what to dress for, but he had a slight fear that maybe he’d overdone it as he looked down at his clothes, with his dark button up and trousers and blazer all ironed and neat, his shoes shining and his homburg hat perched perfectly on top of his head. He’d debated for nearly an hour on whether to wear a tie, and kept reaching up to nervously adjust one that wasn’t there, just feeling bare skin at his top two undone buttons. With a clearing of his throat, he knocked on Cassie’s front door.  

Cassie hadn’t gone on a date in...a long time. Especially not a formal date of any kind. It was strange to have that nervous butterfly feeling in her stomach, and the slight hurriedness that was otherwise unwarranted. It was stranger having to make sure both the infant and the toddler were well looked after. She was actually going out and doing something for herself, completely disconnected, probably the first time since Albie was born. A part of it was exciting, and Cassie gave herself one last small smile in the mirror before she headed downstairs. She’d just slipped on her heels when the knock at the door came. Cassie double checked her cherry patterned dress, ruffling the skirt a little and touching her loose wavy hair for any beginning frizziness before opening the door. Joey Voeman cleaned up well. “You’re dressed to the nines.” Cassie grinned, “What are you planning on? Just a small hint.” She bat her eyelashes, mostly in a joking matter, “Please?”

Joey jumped a bit when Cassie answered the door. Not out of any real fear, but seeing her in front of him, standing on her doorstep, it all suddenly became so real. They’d spent time together before this, obviously, but now there were expectations attached. He wasn’t complaining about that though, not in the slightest. It just made the situation...different. “You look beautiful,” he breathed. Her cherry dress practically took the wind out of him when he saw it. He flashed a charming grin at her question. “You’ll see,” he said slyly. “I just hope those heels are comfortable.” He stole a glance inside of her home. It looked very lived in. Cozy. It made him smile. “Are you ready?” he asked, gesturing to his car sitting in the driveway before letting out a chuckle. “Your chariot awaits.” 

Cassie glanced down at her feet, turning up one of heels with a slight pout. “Sure. I practically live in heels you know.” It wasn’t much of an exaggeration. Besides, the idea of standing next to Joey without any sort of extra height would just look comical. Cassie grabbed her purse then, stepping out and locking the front door behind her. “I’m ready.” She breathed, smiling at the familiarity of the blue Camero as she walked up to it. “Glad to see it hasn’t been taken for another joy ride.” She laughed. 

“If someone did, at least they returned it in pristine condition,” Joey joked. He used his long stride to get ahead of Cassie, tugging open the car door for her and closing it as she got in. It was such a force of habit for him. He rounded the car with a little jog and hopped into the car, starting it up with a purr of the engine. But before he went anywhere, he leaned his arm on the steering wheel and turned to Cassie. “I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but the place we’re going is out of town,” he said quietly. “I thought about what you said and, well, I figured it’s probably best if we test these waters away from prying eyes, you know?” He didn’t want to think of himself as Cassie’s dirty little secret, and he was sure that’s not how she thought of him either, but he wanted to respect the fears she’d voiced to him. At least when everything was just at the beginning and so up in the air. “Is that okay?” he asked.

Cassie paused slightly, chewing the inside of her cheek when Joey opened the car door for her. It’s not as if she expected it from him. She realized she might have to remind herself from time to time that his standards really were a little old fashioned. As she sat in the passenger side seat, she mused to herself how people often looked and commented that Cassie was old-fashioned. They really had no idea. When the car started, she expected to feel the wind on her face, only looking over slightly surprised when Joey turned to her. “Oh okay.” She smiled, her mind going in a different direction, “Away from the mold, I don’t blame you.” But when Joey further explained, she nodded slowly, “Yeah. You’re probably right.” She responded. Cassie would never go out of her way to hide Joey, but the idea wasn’t a bad one. “I think it’s perfect.” She nodded in finality.

When Cassie misunderstood Joey at first, he panicked a little, but as she agreed that his idea was a good one, he grinned. “Perfect,” he echoed, shifting the car into gear and heading toward the place he’d picked out. It was only in the next town over, but it was a bit of a drive, and settled in for the evening drive as the sun bathed the road in front of them in a golden light. “Do you think the hat is too much?” he asked. The side facing Cassie even had a feather stuck in the brim. “I was never the biggest on fashion to begin with, and I’m still wrapping my head around what’s ‘in’ now.” Not that what was hip and in fashion was a huge concern for him. He mostly wanted to know what Cassie thought of it, but didn’t want to ask outright.

Cassie squinted slightly as the sun was setting. It’d be behind the mountains soon, but she was a little disappointed she didn’t bring a pair of sunglasses. She sat back slightly, putting a hand to mask her eyes slightly as she looked over Joey’s outfit again. “It’s snazzy.” She complimented, really she didn’t have strong feelings for it one way or the other, but most importantly, “I still don’t know where we’re going though.” Cassie bugged him, a slight scrunch to her nose, “And that could make a difference.” She shrugged when Joey commented on fashion in general, “For men it hasn’t changed drastically. I guess. I just dress the way I like and feel comfortable. That’s all that really matters.”

Joey grinned wide as she continued to bug him about where they were going. “That’s not how surprises work,” he said, stepping a little harder on the gas to get them there quicker. Luckily, roads out of Soapberry weren’t ever too busy, and they were out of town in no time. “I agree,” he said on the subject of fashion. He stole a sideways glance at her. She looked absolutely stunning. “And the way you dress definitely suits you.” The silence between them was surprisingly not that awkward, though Joey couldn’t ignore the butterflies frantically flapping around in his stomach. In no time, however, they had reached their destination. As Joey parked, the neon sign on the building came into full view: ‘*Jazz Hands*’. Joey didn’t understand the need for the asterisks, but he thought the name was cute when he’d looked it up. “You said you liked dancing,” he said, glancing over at Cassie to gauge her reaction. “I’m pretty light on my feet myself.”

Cassie hummed, leaning her elbow on the side of the car as she looked out and watched Soapberry and other roads pass them by. Her curiosity really was starting to get the better of her, she was surprised she couldn’t wriggle one hint out of Joey at all. “Thanks.” She smiled at the compliment, or at least Cassie took it as one. She saw the neon sign a little bit in the distance and sat up, wondering if the club was where Joey was planning on taking her. When the Camaro turned into the parking lot a wide grin broke out onto her face. “No way!” She’d read about the club ages back, but she’d never gotten the chance to go. It was a popular spot, but not with loud music and flashing lights like more modern clubs nowadays. It was an old style, jazz, aptly named. “I love to dance.” Cassie repeated, a little quietly, but only because that too felt like something she hadn’t done properly in forever. “You dressed perfect.” She amended with a light chuckle. “We’ll fit right in.”

She was so excited, and Joey couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He shut off the car and stepped out, joining Cassie on the passenger side as she got out herself. He offered his arm for her to link with, and he smiled down at her before moving. “I’m glad we’re doing this,” he said in a low voice. Nobody was around them yet, but the words were still just for her. “I think we both needed it.” They started for the door, and a snazzily dressed doorman opened the door for them with a polite smile. The fast drums and blasting horns slapped them in the face when they walked in, and suddenly Joey felt like he’d never went to sleep. Nostalgia gripped him hard and fast, and he couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off his face. “Do you want a drink first?” he asked Cassie, jabbing his thumb toward the bar. 

“Me too.” Cassie grinned back, Joey’s delighted smile contagious enough to keep Cassie smiling as they entered and moved through the club as well. “I never do stuff like this.” She admitted to Joey, speaking a little bit louder so he could hear her over the band playing. She’d never do it if she didn’t have someone to go with, she had Joey to thank for that. She turned slightly, seeing the bar off to the side and the stools lined up next to each other neatly. “One couldn’t hurt.” Cassie decided, her hand still loosely rested on Joey’s arm as she steered them towards the bar and the bar tender. “What can I get you?”  The man with slicked back hair was drying out some heavy duty glasses, and smiled smoothly at the couple, “Is it your first time here?”  Cassie nodded in confirmation for them. “If you can’t make up your mind, an old fashioned or a gin and tonic is always good.”

Joey followed Cassie over to the bar, still loosely attached at the arm. He felt in his element here. Outside was a modern world he didn’t know how to navigate. A world where everything had changed. And while this place was obviously modernized as well, it tried its best to preserve that 40s feel that made Joey’s confidence swell. His chest puffed out and his chin held high, he leaned casually against the bar, listening as the bartender spoke. “I’ll have a Tom Collins,” Joey said. The bartender smiled and busied himself with making it, delivering the gin with its little lime and cherry boat he knew so well. With a tooth grin, he took the toothpick out and squeezed the lime in before popping the cherry into his mouth. “And for you, Ma’am?” The bartender asked Cassie. 

Cassie watched the bartender make the Tom Collins with a brow arched in curiosity. It had a nice flash of color to it, given the cherry and lime. She really didn’t know alcohol very well, it’d been ages since she had a proper drink, so she appreciated the suggestions. “I think a gin and tonic will be good for me.” Cassie decided, taking the iced glass delicately when the bartender slid it to her. The first sip of alcohol was rough, and burning. She hoped the grimace on her face wasn’t too horrendous. “It’s good I promise.” She laughed with a cough. “It’s been a long time.” The next few sips went down without such issue, and she rubbed the condensation of the glass between her fingers, looking out at the playing jazz band before she nudged Joey, “So what dance is your favorite?” She asked.

Joey couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at the face Cassie made as she took her first sip of her drink. He nodded with playfully raised eyebrows as she assured him it was good, and he took a sip of his own drink through his grin. The bartender left them to tend to some other patrons further down the bar. Joey had to turn his good ear toward Cassie to hear her over the music, so he had his back leaned against the bar as he answered. “The Lindy Hop, hands down,” he said without hesitation. He put his hand out to slowly slice through the air. “You’re so light and airy it feels like you’re gliding around the dance floor. And you can really get in sync with your partner.” He grinned down at her. A fan was blowing from above them to keep the bar patrons cool, probably assuming they’d stop here after a bit of dancing to cool off, and it was causing Cassie’s loose curls to look as if they were being blown by a gentle breeze. “It’s a gas, I promise.”

“A gas.” Cassie repeated, smile growing against the rim of her glass. She knew it was old-fashioned slang and it helped Joey meld into the surroundings even better. “It sounds wonderful.” Dancing was supposed to make you feel light and airy anyways, or at least Cassie thought so. She finished off her drink, placing the glass down. “I could probably pick it up pretty quick.” She wriggled her brows at Joey, crossing her ankles as she sat on the barstool. “I know the jitterbug.” Cassie snickered. “The ballet school I went to would have theme days every now and then.” She brushed her hair back, thankful she had brought a small hairband for the fly away pieces at some point.  “We could probably dance the next song, don’t you think?” She asked.

“I’m sure you could,” Joey said, letting out a low laugh when she wiggled her eyebrows at him. She was so cute. “The jitterbug huh? Sounds like I might be the one trying to keep up with you,” he joked, finishing off his own drink and setting the empty glass on the bar. He nodded as she suggested they join next song, and almost like clockwork, the current song ended. “May I have this dance?” he asked in the quiet reprieve between songs, offering a hand out to her. And just as quickly, the drums kicked up again like a racing heartbeat and the horns stole any room for more sound. They made their way out to the dance floor and Joey cocked his hat forward a bit, grinning playfully at Cassie before placing a hand on her hip and taking hers in his own. “Ready?” he asked, moving his feet a bit to the music in small, warm up steps to get his blood flowing. “Just mirror what I do, like this.” He made his movements a bit bigger, footwork gliding like he was 25 again and he couldn’t miss a beat. 

“We can teach each other.” Cassie suggested at Joey’s slightly surprised look over the mention of the Jitterbug. “Or we can just watch other people and steal their dance moves.” She snickered before taking Joey’s arm again and hopping off the barstool. Her heels slid easily across the floor of the bar. She tapped her foot lightly listening to the new song start, and observed Joey carefully as he started to move from small steps to longer more confident glides. After a handful of seconds Cassie felt like she got the idea, and she could steal glances at other couples as they ‘swang’. She tapped next to Joey, taking his hand and kicking up her feet slightly or twirling when it felt right with the beat of the song.

Cassie really was a natural, and she caught up with Joey in no time. They even had a few of the couples around them taking a moment to stare at how easily they moved together. Her confident steps inspired his own, even giving him the confidence to lift her a few times. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as they danced, and as the song ended and the final trumpet note echoed through the room, he dipped her low, a strong hand supporting the small of her back as they stared at each other, both their chests heaving as they breathed with the effort of their high paced footwork. They lingered in the dip for a moment, the couples around them and he people at tables applauding for the band, but Joey almost felt like it was for them as he stared into Cassie’s twinkling eyes. Finally, he stood her back up and reached out to wipe away some hair sticking to her forehead. “You’re a quick study.”

The few lifts were a surprise, but much like everything in the dance Cassie attempted to take it in stride as much as she could. Her heart certainly got racing with adrenaline, and even as she could feel the sweat and slight breathlessness forming Cassie kept dancing and swinging as smoothly as she could. But her chest was heaving when Joey dipped her in a final move. She definitely lost a little stamina over the years. “I told you.” Cassie flashed him a confident grin, swiping back some of her hair and tying it up so she could cool down a little faster. “Though half of it I totally improvised. It’s a secret.” She murmured. “It also helps when you have a good partner.” Cassie winked, placing her hands on her hips before she let out another breath, “I might need an extra minute before the next one.”

“Jazz is all about improvisation,” Joey said. “But it’ll be our little secret.” He pressed a finger to his lips as he put a hand on Cassie’s upper back, guiding her over to a table to sit down. “Just take a breather. We got all night.” He flagged down a waiter and asked for water, the man quickly returning with two glasses. Joey took off his hat and leaned back, using it to fan himself, then fanning Cassie with it for a moment as he took a drink of his water. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. I was sorta nervous ‘bout this. Didn’t know if it was too over the top or uh...too fast.”

Cassie was grateful for the seat and the glass of water that was promptly brought over. She took a few large gulps before speaking again, eyes slightly wide as she shook her head in earnest, “No this is great. It isn’t too fast. Well the dancing is fast-” Cassie laughed, “But going swing dancing isn’t over the top. It’s fun. And I really needed that.” She pressed a hand to her chest, “I know we just got here, but seriously it’s fantastic. The music the vibe…” She motioned around them, leaning against the table a little “How’d they do anyways? You would be the expert.”

Joey was relieved when Cassie confirmed that it wasn’t too fast. He honestly didn’t know any other speed and he’d been a little wary of this whole thing. Back in the day, after Lenore, he was quick to woo a girl. Shower her with compliments and fancy things. Jump into bed quick and leave even quicker. Absorbing himself in someone else for a short time was a welcome distraction back then. A good time and that was it. He feared he’d made that mistake once since waking up, falling back into old habits, and he didn’t want to do it again. He was determined not to ruin this. “How’d they do?” he echoed, glancing around the room. “Honestly, most dance halls and clubs I went to weren’t this fancy. It was a bunch of kids meeting up to swing together in the biggest open room they could find, hopefully with a bar attached. Lots of ‘em popped up just to make a buck before the competition got too steep from the sheer density of ‘em all. Nostalgia has a way of making everything look rosier when you look back on it though.” He smiled at her, picking up his water and holding it out in cheers. “And I figured you deserved a place that pulled out all the stops.”

“Hmm okay.” Cassie nodded slowly, taking in Joey’s input as she observed the club anew. “I suppose that’s something you can’t really recapture either.” She squinted slightly, “It’s like if someone tried to make a speak easy.” Cassie smirked, thinking it’d just be somewhat silly and outrageous. She clinked water glasses with Joey cordially, quietly slipping her heels off underneath the table. She didn’t want to admit they pinched just a little bit. “Ah you’re so thoughtful.” Cassie’s grin grew again, but she looked away slightly embarrassed. It’d been a while since she’d been spoiled and showered praises on. “How are you ever going to top this though?” She joked.

Joey raises an eyebrow. “So I’ve already earned a second date? Good to know,” he mused playfully. “But don’t you worry. I’ve got tricks up my sleeve.” That wasn’t entirely true, but he knew how to spoil a woman, that was for sure. And in his eyes Cassie deserved it. He honestly didn’t know what it was about her, but it calmed his pulse and sent it racing all at once. The song they’d sat out on ended and the band started up with some sugary saxophone, laying it on thick like molasses. “How you feeling? Ready for another?” Joey asked, standing up and putting his hat back on. “It’s a slow one.”

“Damn.” Cassie breathed, snapping her fingers in show, “Did I make it too easy?” The idea of not going on a second date though was practically absurd, considering what a good time she was having. She wrinkled her nose playfully again, “I’m sure, and you won’t give me any hints on that when the time comes either, huh?” Cassie turned slightly in her chair listening to the lingering saxophone before she slipped her shoes back on and stood alongside Joey. “A slow dance I think I can manage.” She took the arm of his jacket again, finding a small opening on the dance floor now that it had become more crowded with couples happy to sway and embrace. Cassie carefully placed her hands on Joey’s broad shoulders, “See you’ll thank those heels now.” She chuckled softly.

Even with the height Cassie’s heels gave her, Joey was still nearly a foot taller and had to crane his neck down to look at her. He smiled as she reached up and put her hands so delicately in his shoulders, and he placed his heavy hands gently on her waist. A crooning singer came into the song to mix his voice with the saxophone, both drawn out and lethargic in a way that hung like smoke in the air. The words he sang were of unrequited love for a woman out of his league. Joey knew that feeling well from the past, and while he’d never heard the song before, it felt as if it transported him right back. “I think we’re making some people jealous,” he said playfully, glancing around to find a few men staring at Cassie, and a few women staring at him. He moved a hand to the small of Cassie’s back and pulled her a little closer. 

“What?” Cassie whispered, not wanting to turn and look directly at some of the other people dancing around them, no matter how tempting it was. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach again, those nerves and her cheeks dimpled as she forced a small smile, “They are not.” She decided, responding back to him with a tap on the shoulder, “And if they are, they’re only jealous of our super cool dance moves.” Cassie made a quick motion of jazz hands as they still rested around Joey’s shoulders and neck. “Luckily there’s no such thing as share your date night. It would suck to get downgraded.” She snickered.

Joey shrugged his shoulders, comforted by the weight of her hands on them. “I don’t know. I’d be jealous of me if I saw me with you,” he whispered. He reached a hand up to swipe a thumb across her cheek before replacing it on her hip. He let out a hearty laugh that turned a few more heads when she did her jazz hands, but the heads quickly turned back to their own dates. It felt like they were in a bubble. Just the two of them, but with a surface so fragile and easy to pop. “Oh now who’s the flatterer?” he teased with a raised eyebrow. The song ended and Joey was almost disappointed when a fast song started up again. He looked to Cassie, the direction of the evening up to her. 

Cassie gave a small gasp of dramatic shock, “I’ll just say what you did. It’s not flattering if it’s true.” She sing-songed slightly, tilting her chin up in something like admiration so she could gaze at Joey more. When the instruments picked up tempo again, Cassie stepped off to the side with Joey allowing a few other couples to take up more room. “I still have to teach you the jitterbug.” She grinned, “But we can just  listen to the music for a while. Does the bar have anything to eat? I’d be good with pretzels, honestly. And I think I want to try that Tom Collins. It looked good.”               

Joey stepped off to the side with her. He nodded at her decision and put a hand on her back to guide them both through the crowd and toward the bar, but they took a seat in a booth instead. One that wrapped around in a small half circle around the table. “Any good bar has food,” he said, flagging down a waiter. What they both probably wanted was out of the question, considering ordering rock shavings and raw meat outside of Soapberry might be frowned upon, so he asked for a bowl of pretzels and two Tom Collins. “You just want the cherry, don’t you?” He teased, stealing a look at her dress and trying his best not to linger on the low cut in the front. He took his hat off again and sat it on the seat next to him. “I told you I wanted to play drums, didn’t I?” He asked her, nodding in thanks to the waiter as he came back promptly with their snack and drinks. “Think I could move my hands that fast?” He pointed up to the drummer, whose hands were almost a blur trying to keep the beat of the high tempo song. 

Cassie slid into the booth, sitting in a bit more of a  relaxed and lounged position than what she would have to worry about if they were back on the barstools. She laughed out loud at Joey’s comment, glancing back down at her dress, “No, oh my god. I mean I like cherries. Obviously. But that’s not the only reason.” She paused for a moment, leaning towards him slightly, “But if you don’t want yours…” Cassie prompted. As they waited for their drinks and snacks, she looked back towards the jazz band. “Did you?” She asked, plucking the cherry out of her glass and eating it first, “If you practiced you could. Or maybe you could cheat with atronach strength or something.” Cassie whispered carefully.  “But I think you’d tower over the drum set.”

“How dare you ask a man for his cherry,” Joey said, feigning offense in a deepened voice. He grabbed the cherry from his own drink and ate it first as well. He likes Tom Collins’ because they were similar to a gun tonic, but had a sweet and tart taste to it that didn’t make the alcohol so strong. He was definitely a lover of alcohol, but he wasn’t afraid of a good cocktail making him look less manly or anything. “Okay now, I’m not that tall,” Joey chuckled. “Besides, I’m mostly legs so if anything I’d have to worry about my knees getting in the way.” He was still mesmerized by the drummer all the same, and found it hard to peel his eyes away since their booth was facing right toward the stage. The song ended and a familiar line trumpet started up that made Joey nearly jump out of his seat with excitement. A female singer in a long, flowing dress came out and began to sing Ella Fitzgerald’s ‘Dream a Little Dream of Me’. “I saw her live once, you know,” Joey said, taking a sip of his drink before pointing at the woman on stage that was doing a pretty decent impression, another band member cutting in with Louis’ part. “Not her, obviously. Ella Fitzgerald. Her voice was absolute perfection, lemme tell ya. I was just a young thing at the time but I think that’s the first time I ever fell in love.” He dramatically sighed and rested his chin on his hand for show, before giving Cassie a side eyed grin. He was mostly kidding, but that was definitely the day he’d fell in love with music. 

“You’d bang up your poor knees.” Cassie laughed, sipping her drink now that the cherry was nothing else but a stem at the side on the table. She recognized the song as the trumpet blared out of pure popularity, but the certain twinkle in one's eye was reserved for Joey. “Now that is something to brag about.” Cassie nodded to him when he reminisced over Ella Fitzgerald. “If you didn’t love her, I don’t think you could say you like jazz and hold yourself in high esteem.” She responded, arching a brow when Joey gave her a side glance. “She’s still a hit for a reason.” Cassie said, plucking out a few pretzels and munching on them. “Did you meet or see anyone else famous? You’ll impress me so much.” She widened her eyes slightly bobbing her head gently in time with the music. 

“Beautiful and good taste,” Joey complimented, mostly just as a way to slip more praise her way. He already knew she had excellent taste. He thought on her question for a moment, scratching his cleanly shaven chin as he searched his brain. “I saw the Beatles,” he said, shrugging. He liked them well enough, but when he’d saw them was in the beginning, when all their music sounded the same. He hadn’t really cared for it until it got a little weirder and experimental, and he’d only found those songs recently. “It was more fascinating to see the reactions they caused, honestly. And uh, I suppose if you think of Eisenhower as famous, I met him before he was President. Shook his hand and everything.” He remembered that day vividly. He’d been so excited to meet the General. “He talked to each one of us, one by one. Everybody in my regiment. Asked us where we were from, what and who we were fighting for, and told us we were doing him proud.” His face fell a little, screwing up into an odd grimace for a moment. Cynicism quickly rushed in to taint the memory, and he stopped speaking as he slowly spun his glass between his fingers. 

Cassie raised her glass slightly, pouting in consideration, “The Beatles is impressive too. I can’t imagine being at one of their concerts when they were super famous.” She smiled, “It would have been crazy. Now people think enjoying their music is hip and different.” Cassie finished off her second drink, pushing the glass to the edge of the table, “But fads and the like seem to have a way of coming back around. Maybe in a decade or so, you’ll be in your perfect element again.” Cassie rested her elbow on the table, not thinking much Eisenhower, but she understood how it would have been important and stand out to Joey. She also noticed how fond memories faltered for a moment, so she ask anymore questions about meeting an army general. Cassie ate a few more pretzels waiting for the music to pick back up again in tempo. When it did, she turned grinning to Joey, “One Jitterbug?” She prompted.

Cassie voice pulled Joey quickly out of his jaded stupor, and he looked up at her with a grin. “Yeah, I’m game.” He finished off his drink and the two made their way to the dance floor. Cassie was a good teacher and the dance moves weren’t too different from the ones he’d taught her. They bounced around like a couple of teenagers, but when the song was over they were both feeling it, chests heaving and Joey definitely feeling a bit of a stitch in his ribs. “How about some fresh air, huh?” he suggested, gesturing toward the front doors. 

“That should help.” Cassie nodded at the mention of outdoors. It was still a little warm because of summer, but the open wind would probably be better than the air conditioning being sucked up by handfuls of people. She walked with Joey through the club till they exited, brushing down her dress and looking at a few of the other lit up places across the city street. “It got busier in there.” She commented, also noticing more cars filled the parking lot. “It’s a great place, so that makes sense. It really was a wonderful idea. Thank you.” Cassie gulped, “I haven’t gotten to do anything like this in forever.”

Joey preened under Cassie’s praise, grinning wide as they leaned against the outside brick wall of the building, about half the distance from the door to his car. He reached in his pocket and grabbed a cigarette and his army zippo lighter, counterproductively filling his lungs with smoke as he tried to enjoy the fresh air. “That’s a shame,” he lamented when she admitted she hadn’t been out like this in a while. “I’m glad I could help.” He took a long drag from his cigarette and sighed, making sure he was downwind from Cassie as to not get smoke in her face, especially with her heightened sense of smell. “I, uh, hope you don’t mind,” he muttered, holding up the cigarette between his fingers. “I don’t smoke in the house or in my car. I can’t stand the smell, honesty.” He grinned sheepishly. “Product of the time, I suppose. Got hooked back when doctors claimed these things were good for you.” He ashed it onto the ground with a wry laugh. “The world really has changed since my hay day, huh? That back there felt like a little time capsule. But then I walk out here and see all these modern plastic cars and modern shops across the street and it just,” he gently hit himself in the cheek with a satisfying clap, “slaps me in the face, you know?” He glanced over at her, so beautiful and grounded, and he smiled, almost a bit sadly. “You’re like a safe port in a storm, Cassie.”

Cassie crossed her arms over her chest, still taking in breaths of the night air. It was different than in Soapberry, which she thought was a little funny. She’d gotten so used to the town, the city had a completely different feel to it. The air hung a little heavier, a little more stale. She smelled the smoke before she actually looked over and saw Joey blowing it down and away from her. It was a fair try. She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s fine. I don’t own the streets. Suppose everyone needs a vice.” Cassie couldn’t help but scoff at the idea of cigarettes being good for you. She knew all about the ads and glorification back in the day, but doctor recommended? That was almost too much. Her content expression turned a little sad in time with Joey. It was something she’d never fully be able to grasp, that loss of time. But then he shifted the attention to her and the compliment for all that it was also tugged at something melancholy. “I don’t know how.” She admitted, stepping a bit closer, “I feel just as lost sometimes. But…” Cassie squinted slightly looking up at him, “It’s definitely better with some company.”

Joey frowned slightly as Cassie’s mood seemed to get dragged down with his own. He hadn’t meant for that to happen. But her getting closer to him was beyond comforting. It was honestly all he needed in that moment and she’d delivered without even knowing. He rubbed the end of his cigarette out on the brick wall and flicked it away, turning toward her. “I pushed away company for so long. They say misery loves it, but I didn’t want to pull anybody else down with me.” He smiled sadly, realizing he was echoing her words from the deli. “But I guess you can’t dig yourself out of a hole by yourself, huh? I’m learning that now.” He turned more to be squarely facing her. He gazed into her eyes for a moment, swallowing hard. “Cassie...can I kiss you?”

Cassie could have scrounged up some more reassuring and comforting words, after all pushing people away and keeping to yourself was something Cassie had previous experience in. But she decided instead to just let Joey talk, it seemed like something he needed, and the better option. She’d been watching him so intently, that when Joey turned and asked to kiss her, she wasn’t even taken off guard by the question. Cassie had rather been thinking, Joey Voeman could probably use a kiss, or an embrace. Some sort of closeness. It’s what Cassie had been missing for a time. “Yeah.” She finally answered him with a natural curl of her lips, “I’d like to kiss you a lot.”

Joey smiled. An easy smile. His heart was racing and his hands had an uncharacteristic shake to them suddenly. This was a threshold that, once they crossed, there was really no going back. It was territory he was nervous to tread with her, but excited to explore at the same time. He tried to push out all his apprehension though, putting his focus only on her. One hand reached out to rest on her hip, while he reached up with the other to cup her face, his fingers touching the hot skin on the back of her neck and his thumb caressed her cheek gently, then her lips, before he leaned down to press his against hers. She tasted like gin and sweetness, and her lips were soft. Inviting. Her kiss sent shivers down his spine, and he greedily pulled her closer for a moment, before loosening his grip just as quick, doing his best not to get ahead of himself here. 

Cassie would have melted into the light, sweet touches right then if she could have. Her heart felt like it was going to hammer out of her chest and she forced away any thoughts that didn’t have to do with the moment happening right there and then. Standing outside with Joey, just the two of them with nothing else but the faint noise of the club and sounds of cars driving by. Cassie kissed him back gingerly, loosely grabbing his forearms when he pulled her closer. Even the smell of smoke didn’t bother her all too much. It was part of his scent to begin with. Her lips lingered on his for a few extra moments before she dropped her head down and rested it against his chest for a moment. “So…” Cassie mumbled, her mouth curling into a smile again, “Maybe it isn’t that slow.”

Even if they hadn’t kissed hard and fast and hungry like he was used to, Joey still felt light headed as he pulled back. And somehow, that felt all the more special to him in that moment.  He was liable to float away if he wasn’t careful. He was thankful for Cassie staying connected to him, head heavy on his chest to keep him grounded. He wrapped his arms around her and a hand reached up to caress her soft, pulled back curls. “No it ain’t,” he muttered back. He craned his neck to look down at her, not wanting to give up this position just yet, but still wanting to look at her and gauge her expression. He was relieved to see she was smiling, and it made him grin as well. “Is that...okay?” he asked. 

“Yes.” Cassie couldn’t help but laugh a little. The smile on her face pulled and pinched at her cheeks in a way that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Something free and genuine. She clung to Joey as well, letting the next few quiet moments pass without any other worries. Cassie eventually glanced over her shoulder, watching a few other people exit the club with soft chatters and happy giggles. She bit her lower lip, gazing at his chest and smoothing out the fabric her head had wrinkled slightly, “Do you know if there’s a scenic route home?” She asked.

This time Cassie didn’t hesitate with her answer, and Joey closed his eyes for a moment, resting his chin on the top of her head. He savored her weight against him, and let out a contented sigh as he pushed away any protests his conscience was screaming at him in that moment. When she pulled back, he almost felt a pang of loss with her arms no longer around him, but he smiled down at her as she bit her lip. “I’m sure I could find one. You’re ready to go so soon?” he teased, but grabbed her hand and headed toward the car anyway. 

“Uh…” Cassie’s expression turned a little sheepish when Joey called her out for wanting to leave already. Although it wasn’t as if they hadn’t spent some amount of time at the club. “It’s a little loud to actually talk in there.” She offered, it was a poor excuse and the remaining look on her face proved that she knew it too. “I don’t want to go home.” Cassie clarified, “I do enjoy breathing normally.” She joked, opening the car door before Joey got the chance when they reached the vehicle. “And being with you.” Cassie added, flashing a smile with her white teeth. 

Joey didn’t need the excuse to spend more one-on-one time with Cassie, but her offering them up was still cute nonetheless. He didn’t even try to open her car door since she beat him there, so he just rounded it and got in on the drivers side, arm leaning casually on the steering wheel as he gazed over at her. His eyes probably lingered a bit too long, but not in a lewd way. More of a giddy, smitten stare, complete with a toothy grin, one he eventually broke away as he took off his hat and threw it in the back seat before starting up the car. “I don’t know how scenic it’s gonna look in the dead of night,” he teased as he backed out and pulled onto the road. They were on the edge of the city, and it wasn’t long before they were winding around curvy country roads. Joey has went driving for the hell of it out here before, so he actually knew how to prolong their trip without getting lost. “So, if you’ve got mold, it means you had a ghost tagging along during that whole fiasco, yeah? Who was it?” He asked. “And here’s me hoping that ain’t a touchy subject for you.” Because it sure was for him now. He was suddenly realizing he didn’t know much about her past at all. And to be honest, she didn’t even know the half of his. But this was the beginning of something, he could feel it, and they had time. 

“It’ll be fine.” Cassie assured him, tapping the side of her head gently with her finger, “I can see pretty well in the dark anyways.” It was nice to be back in the car, off her feet and in a private area with Joey. It’s not like saying the club was loud had been a complete lie. She rested her head on her shoulder, watching as the paved roads turned a bit more curvy and wild, only glancing back when Joey asked her about her mold back at home. “An ancestor.” It was the simplest way to answer before Cassie provided any sort of explanation. “Technically my paternal great-grandmother. She was a witch.” Cassie absent mindedly played with her hair, “My family has been around since Soapberry started. Helped build it up and all that. Well, one of them decided to get friendly with a witch.” And here Cassie looked guilty, “They weren’t the best. Took the resulted baby away to raise cause they didn’t want any scandals. He was a witch too though, and my great-grandmother? She thought we were even worse. It led to a curse and that’s a whole thing.” She cleared her throat, not wanting to come right out and say the witch thought they were murderers. “Well, it’s why Addie’s a witch anyways and now she’s a little fixated on her.” Cassie raised her brows glancing back out the window. It was strange how normal that bit of her history had gotten over time. Now it was just fact. Before it was something completely shameful. “It’s dramatic.”

“Sounds like it,” Joey agreed quietly, gripping the steering wheel. It was times like this when Joey realized how selfish he could be without even meaning to. It was easy for him to obsess over his own tragic past all too often. To be broody and grim because of it, even in the presence of his support group. To feel alone and as if he was the only one suffering in the world. He certainly wasn’t insensitive to other people’s pain, but it was easy to forget other people were dealing with things too in their own quiet ways. “Is that why you grew up in Chicago? Your family wanted away from...all that?” He still wasn’t exactly clear what ‘all that’ entailed, but he felt right now wasn’t the best time to ask her to elaborate. Later. There would be a later. And that made him smile a bit to himself. 

“I think so.” Cassie answered with a small nod, and then an amused scoff at the very idea, “Like they thought they could run away from the bad shit previous Germaine’s did. I ended up back there didn’t I?” She ended up back in Soapberry with all the responsibility to boot, but Cassie didn’t want to brood over that. “It’s fine.” She clarified. “I don’t miss Chicago anyways. I never really felt at home there like I do in Soapberry.”

“I know a bit about running away,” Joey said. Not in any sort of accusatory way of course. “It always sounds like a good idea at the time.” He squeezed the steering wheel a bit harder, the leather audibly squeaking under his grip. But he loosened up just as quickly. “I’m glad you feel at home here though.” He let out a wry chuckle. “It’s funny. So do I. Granted, I’ll always be homesick for the Smoky Mountains, but even with all the crazy shit happening in Soapberry, I’ve got no real desire to leave.” Her glances over at her and reached a hand to gently grip her bare shoulder. “I’d be crazy to now,” he said, a bit of a blush on his tanned cheeks. He moved both hands to the wheel again, smile still plastered on him. “How old were you when you moved to Soapberry?”

“That’s good.” Cassie smiled faintly, she didn’t want Joey to leave. There was a faint growing fear now that anyone she’d come to care about, romantic or not, would eventually leave. She laughed at Joey’s own sort of reassurance, her hand reaching up to brush over his in a quick instance. “I only moved there three years ago.” She answered him next. “I’m not as much of an expert as I might seem. And only moved because… hmm-” Cassie paused here, cause this was embarrassing. “I fought shifting for a really long time. One full moon it caught up to me and let’s just say a black wolf was running lose in the city streets.” She grimaced slightly, “My parents promptly saw me relocated.”

Joey didn’t quite know how to respond to what Cassie had just told him. He didn’t quite know what it was like to be forced to shift, but he couldn’t imagine it felt goo, losing control of yourself like that. And then to resist it? All that build up.Then to finally lose it? That had to be torture. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. More for the obvious embarrassment she felt in telling him than anything else. “Thanks for trusting me with that,” he whispered, glancing at her. He knew it was always hard to admit things about your past. Gauge who you could trust with such delicate information. It was a blessing to have a secret shared with you, even if it wasn’t strictly a secret in the true definition of the word. “Why’d you resist? How long?”

Cassie’s brows furrowed at ‘why’. That was a more loaded and difficult question than sharing some secrets. “I don’t find being a wolf all that much of a gift.” She responded with a slight shrug of her shoulders. “I’m not so resentful in Soapberry but in Chicago? All the stories tell you wolves are evil. People are scared of wolves.” We’re monsters. Cassie wanted to say, but refrained. Hadn’t she worked past that? She thought she had. “Why would I be proud of that? I didn’t fit in. Even with the few secret wolf packs.” Hell, she still struggled in Soapberry, but at least it was easier to try. “So I got a charm and didn’t shift for...I don’t know six months? And that’s when it happened.” She’d gone longer since then, given her pregnancies, but those hadn’t been forced. 

It pained Joey to hear her talk that way. Not being proud of your supernatural species felt so foreign to him. He couldn’t relate. But he knew being a wolf, being forced to shift once a month, that was much different than being an atronach. At least in his culture, it was tied to a spiritual awakening. A culture and an identity. For Cassie, he could see how she’d find her wolf more a burden than a gift when trying to live a normal life. “I can’t say I know how that feels,” he began, before pausing as he found the small dirt drive off the main road he’d been looking for, turning onto it before continuing. “But that had to be hard for you. I’m glad you’re working through it.” He hated how clinical he sounded, but the only other thing he could say would be worthless platitude. “You don’t have to go into it now, but if you ever wanna talk about it more. About anything. I’m here.” He put his hand on his chest and glanced at her as he brought the car to a stop. They were parked on a small cliff overlooking Soapberry. They could barely see it, hazy with the spellwork that kept it hidden, but still slightly visible to them. Just dark outlines and blurry orbs of light in a valley that stretched out to the sea. “Beautiful, isn’t it? Found this little hideaway hiking ‘bout a month back.”

The truth was Cassie didn’t want to talk about it, it was always a delicate subject it seemed no matter how much work she thought she’d done. Most people she found were happy in Soapberry, happy with what they were and the way the supernatural world ran. Cassie had found a comfortable place there, but something would always bug her deep down it seemed. “Thanks.” She muttered, the corner of her mouth curling into a kind smile. In no way was it Joey’s fault, after all. She sat up a little in her seat, looking out the windshield over the dash board. “It looks so mystical.” Cassie mused, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it like this before. From this view.” She let out a short sigh, eyes following the blurry orbs of spellwork. Cassie turned towards Joey, unbuckling her seatbelt so she wasn’t held back at all. “Can you just kiss me again instead for now?” She asked, voice faint and a little shy.

Joey was delighted she was so mesmerized by the view. But just as quickly, he felt her eyes on him, and he turned his head to look back at her as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “If that’s what you want,” he whispered, unbuckling his own seatbelt and lifting the middle console to be able to scoot closer to her. His arms slipped easily around her, spread strong and wide across her back. He grinned at her before their lips met, kissing deeper than they had outside the bar. But still gentle. Tentative. Slow and steady. Joey let out a low, quiet moan into her mouth that made his cheeks go red, and he pulled back. “You’re a wonderful woman, Cassie,” he breathed, pushing a stray curl behind her ear. “I’m lucky to have met you.”

Cassie relaxed and leaned into Joey’s arms as they wrapped around her again, opening her mouth for a hotter, deeper kiss that answered Joey in action rather than words. It’s definitely what she wanted. She could feel her skin prickle in sweet sensation, enjoying the feeling of Joey’s hands holding and caressing her. It was nice to feel safe, and wanted again. Her lips curled in a smile against his when Cassie heard the small moan escape from his throat, and she lifted her hand to brush at comb at the hair on the nape of Joey’s neck. Now it was her turn to be slightly disappointed and wanting when he pulled away, but her cheeks were flushed with sensation. “We’re lucky to have met each other.” She amended breathlessly.

Joey didn’t say another word. He just smiled and pressed their lips together once more. She was so warm, and it felt like he was holding the sun in his arms with how bright her joy shone on her face when she looked at him. A hand came up to caress her face, holding her soft cheek in his hand like it was a precious gem to be honored and revered. His mouth trailed down, planting kisses on the side of her neck opposite his hand. His kisses were sweet and gentle, but also ravenous. It was like someone put a cake in front of him and he was only allowed to taste the smallest bit of frosting. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too...this time in every lewd sense of the word. 

Cassie would have been happy to sit there for the rest of the night wrapped in Joey’s arms and kissing him back with matched wanting and fervor. His lips were so warm and welcoming, and his touch was even sweeter. She pressed back a little rougher into his kiss, squirming slightly and giggling when his mouth trailed down her neck. Cassie rested her cheek against Joey’s while she still could, peppering kisses along the back of his ear and down his jaw as their lips wandered across each other both eagerly and carefully. She sighed more audible this time closing more of the space between their bodies. 

The giggles Joey brought out of Cassie made him smile against her skin. And then that sigh, it sent a shiver staring down his spine. The hair on his arms stood up as goose pimples spread over his skin, her peppered kisses on his ear and jaw only causing his body more pleasurable distress. When she moved to close the gap between them, he wrapped his arms around her middle and scooted her to were his middle console had been, turning more toward her so their upper bodies were flush with each other. It felt like his skin was on fire every place they were touching, and he held her close as their mouths finally found each other’s again, their kisses hungrier and more feverish now. His hand laced into the hair on the back of her head, feeling like silk between his fingers. He let out another soft moan, unashamed this time. 

Cassie’s fingers dug into Joey’s jacket, and she carefully slipped her hands inside feeling the thinner dress dress shirt. She wanted to run and brush her hands against his arms and skin, but she wasn’t going to make him undress either. She gripped him tighter, whining slightly before she lifted herself and sat on the very edge of his lap. It was easier to kiss him that way, and she didn’t have to twist her body as awkwardly. After Cassie was satisfied with the new position she pulled away slightly, biting her lower lip again as she took in Joey’s face. She ran her thumb under chin before kissing him lightly again. “Is this okay?” Cassie smirked.

Joey was a taken by surprise when Cassie lifted herself up from her seat, but once he realized what she was doing, he quickly reached down and moved the seat back a bit to make ample room for her, doing his best not to break the kiss as he did so. When she pulled back, his head moved forward a bit in longing, but he leaned back against the headrest, a bit breathless. “Of course,” he said, reaching up to caress her cheek. “More than okay.” His hand dropped slowly, running down to her shoulder, down her side, to her hip, then feeling her bare thigh where her dress had hiked up, he let his hand rest there, digging his fingertips in a bit as he went in for another kiss, biting her lip gently as his other hand explored her back again. He so desperately wanted to pull at that zipper, but restrained himself, flattening out his hand and savoring what he did have. A beautiful woman on his lap that wanted to kiss him. That wanted to understand him and be alone with him and help him carry his baggage. He wouldn’t rush this. He’d relish in it. 

“Oh good.” Cassie murmured, eyes glazed over with desire as she lazily watched Joey trail his hand around her skin again. Cassie was aware her dress had ruffled up slightly, but when his slightly worn fingers pressed into the smooth skin of her thigh she felt her breath hitched slightly. Cassie’s hand closed over his, “Don’t do that yet.” She whispered airily, lingering a moment with her fingers wrapped in his before Joey’s hand moved to her back. Cassie cupped his face gingerly as they kept kissing, grunting at the brief sharpness of teeth. “Just this. Just a little while longer.” She directed huskily.

Joey held the hand she’d plucked from her thigh in his own. He’d worried he’d overstepped, but his fears were soothed when she continued to kiss him. Continued to make tiny noises of satisfaction and talked to him in that husky, low voice you only spoke to a lover with. He brought the hand still holding hers up to his mouth, kissing each of her knuckles in turn. It was her left hand, and there was a split second of hesitation before he kissed the ring finger. Barely noticeable, but there. “Good. I like just this. For as long as you want,” he whispered back. He leaned back to take in her face, her curls hanging slightly forward from her angle to frame her face in a reddish brown halo from the moonlight behind her. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he breathed, before leaning forward to kiss her again. 

Cassie didn’t notice the hesitation, there was something endearing and tender about the light kisses on her knuckles. Cassie would scoff and tell people she was a lady, because that’s how she was raised, but Joey actually made her feel like one. Like something special and worth waiting for. A year or so ago, she would have completely cringed under the idea, but now? She was properly flattered by it. She smiled at his breathless statement, merely thanking him with more passionate kissing. After a while she glanced back to the clock in the dashboard, curious how much time had passed. Cassie pursed her lips  when it read past midnight, and she made a quick ‘tsk’ sound, “I don’t suppose we can stay here forever huh?”

Joey leaned over to look past Cassie and check the clock as well. “Suppose not,” he agreed begrudgingly. He let Cassie slip off of his lap and into the passenger seat, but not before stealing one more quick kiss on her cheek. He started the car back up and pulled out of the little clearing, back out on the main road in no time. Without Cassie in his lap and on his lips, he was able to think a bit clearer, and all the fears and doubts he’d pushed away for the night were flooding back in like someone had broken a dam. “Cassie, I’ve got something I gotta get off my chest,” he admitted, knowing that was an awful way to start a conversation, but it was too late now. “When I was drafted, I had a girlfriend. Lenore. We were gonna get married and have oodles of kids when I got back but…” He ran a hand over his face as he drove, the memory technically over half a century old but still raw. “She found someone new while I was overseas. And when I got back, the two were married and she was pregnant and moved on.” He shrugged. “It’s okay, in a way. I didn’t come back the same man she’d loved. But she’d still wrote me letters like everything was fine and dandy right up ‘til V-E Day. Had to find out from my sister delivering Lenore’s final letter. Didn’t even have the decency to tell me to my face.” He took a deep breath. He was realizing as he spoke how much different the two situations were, but it still didn’t ease his mind completely. “My point is, while it ain’t all exactly the same, I know what it’s like to be on the other side of this whole thing. And I’m having a bit of a crisis of conscience, I guess you could call it.” He pulled the car over then, the Soapberry border just a mile or so ahead. He turned to look at her, lips pressed in a thin line. “You ain’t being devious, I know that. You ain’t lying to anybody’s face. It ain’t the same at all. I just...I need to know this is all okay, you know? If we’re okay. Because I like you a whole damn lot, Cassie, and I don’t wanna ruin this with a heap of doubt weighing on my mind.”

Cassie felt her chest tighten at the beginning. It was just shy of ‘I have to tell you something’ and nothing good ever followed. Her body was already going into panic mode, and she tried so hard not to let the fear show on her face. As he explained though, her nausea subsided, it was only natural he had past girlfriends but then Cassie understood better. He was worried he was repeating a slight a past lover had done to him. “I’m really sorry that happened.” She whispered, because Cassie’s mind couldn’t help but flip the situation to Lilo coming back and finding them as well. But Cassie would never lie. She wouldn’t lead him on. Something about that was cruel. “It’s not the same.” She agreed, her voice a little stronger. Cassie was a little surprised Joey had to pull the car over, but if it was something so heavy on his conscious she wanted to try and discuss it properly. “Joey…” She cringed only slightly, gulping down a lump in her throat before looking back to him. “To me we’re more than okay. If by some miracle he comes back...there’ll be a conversation. If there wasn’t Addie or Albert it’d be different. But he was their dad, and that’ll never change. He was a good dad.” Cassie cleared her throat, biting the inside of her cheek when she felt that threatening sting of tears. There was no way. “I know how to make decisions for myself. I couldn’t imagine lying to anyone. I wouldn’t. But I don’t hate him either. As long as you’re okay with that, we can make plenty work.” 

Joey could only smile sadly as Cassie spoke. Her voice was so reassuring. She was so strong, at least outwardly in that moment. If there was a falter in her thinking, in her steadfast decision, he couldn’t see it. And that was what he needed right now. “Of course you can. And of course you don’t hate him. That would never be what I’d want.” He reached out and took her hand in his, not sure who was providing the real support to the other with the gesture. Perhaps it was mutual. “I’m sorry I compared you and Lenore. You don’t deserve that. And I want you to know I don’t feel like the ‘other man’ here. That’s not it.” It was a complicated issue, honestly. One they weren’t going to be able to talk through at 12:30am in a car on the side of the road. But it was a start, and a step in the right direction for Joey’s guilt addled mind. “We’re more than okay,” he repeated, kissing the back of her hand before releasing it, shifting back into gear and heading back into town. 

Cassie was quiet for most of the drive back into town. She would steal quick glances at Joey, wondering what was going through his mind and how much this past relationship had really hurt him. She’d only been surprised by the confession, feeling the slight need to defend herself because it didn’t take much doubt from others to scare her. But this wasn’t about her, Cassie had to remind herself. This was Joey’s own hang up. “You’re not the other man to me either.” Was all Cassie offered on the subject, hesitating in the car even when it pulled up next to her townhome. Her hands rested gently in her lap kept to herself. Even with the jarring confession, Cassie still wanted Joey’s company, she was tired of returning home alone. But it simply wasn’t the time. They both needed it apparently. “I had a really nice time tonight. You outdid yourself.” She smiled again, “I’ll owe you.” 

Every word Cassie said served to push Joey’s doubt out of his mind. It was really no use worrying about what might happen in the future. It only took him away from the present, and his present was pretty great in his opinion. At least as far as his current company. But as he pulled up in front of her townhouse, even that was going to be cut short. He shrugged at her compliment. “I try,” he teased, raising his eyebrow at her next comment. “Oh, are you taking me out next time?” he asked, smirking playfully. “Is it my turn to be spoiled?”

“Well, wait, wait.” Cassie laughed holding up a hand, “I don’t know about next time. I need time to plan. And something tells me you’ve planned in advance.” The corners of her eyes crinkled as she looked at him admiringly, “But I’ll think of some sort of treat. You deserve it.” Her teeth ran over her lower lip a moment before she decided to lean forward and kiss Joey briefly. “Just to add to our tally.” Cassie joked, before she finally opened the door and stepped back out into the night air. She gave him a tiny wave, “Don’t stay away too long.”

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 112 Thoughts

Congrats to Eren on giving all the good people contributing to his series’ Wild Mass Guessing page a shout-out. Good on you, man. You’ve got my vote on your cult not doing anything wrong or aggravatingly stupid ever.

Also, Zeke!

It’s rare we see such a prime example of a leader in a shounen manga knowing how to delegate. Props, my man!

I hope Annie kicks both your heads off!

This is an emotional chapter.

Before we begin, I have one thing I need to get off my chest.

Thank you for your time.

First thing first!

I love how Nicolo’s entire theory is, “something shady is up with the wine and idk Zeke and spinal fluid sounds right????” This entire chapter is one long tribute to everything the fandom has ever screamed about and it is fantastic in that one aspect.

Also, hey, hope for Falco. Zeke waits until all the bottles are empty before he screams, so I would guess that he at least prefers his victims to be properly dosed. Falco should be okay. The blunt force trauma might actually be the more concerning bit for the bright and shiny little one.

Another thing I love is how every single mention of Marley somehow makes Marley come across even worse.

Sorry, that’s not fair.

I love how every single mention of Marley reminds and confirms that they are the worse, and the reminders serve to dig that knowledge deeper into all our souls until we almost don’t mind when innocent civilians are wiped off the map if it means that structure no longer exists.

“Almost” being subject to innate character and morality.

Eren does not recognize the union of “almost” and adds the asterisk of “younglings” after “innocent civilians.”

Hell though, Nicolo. At least you found yourself, even if it did come after battering a child into unconsciousness. And you kept Connie and Jean from drinking the bad juice.

I really like the interaction between Nicolo and Sasha’s dad. Nicolo’s not the man he is. He loses himself in his anger and only chance stops him from crossing a very serious line.

But Mr. Blouse is the type of man Nicolo can see the merit in, and define himself by that gap because the end of that gap is something so much better than the man who come close to murdering children.

Some people are still learning to be better, even now, because of the good people they surround themselves by.

Gabi has been surrounded by nothing but warmth (barring Nicolo and Kaya’s trauma) since arriving to Paradis. Falco is a good guy. Mikasa and Armin are good people. The family of the soldier she killed are good people.

She isn’t charging at Mikasa and Armin (and geez every time these kids get a distance shot when the other characters are standing up it fucks me up; they are too tiny for any of this). She’s been passionately defending everything she and Marley has done, but now she’s quiet, and all she can do is ask for her friend, who keeps saving her life, to not be killed. All she can do is offer up her life to make up for the crimes that she can’t imagine being forgiven.

She is so young. Killing and violence and death are the obvious conclusions to her. She’s been taught that, and she excels at that, but now she keeps finding people who are willing to stand down and not kill her.

Reiner’s character is a slow stumble into his morality breaking his mind. Slowly, the idea that these people he’s surrounded by are people encroaches.

Gabi’s thrown into the deep end and the plot keeps shoving her head down when she struggles to the surface to breathe. None of this has been kind on her. The violent assault on her sanity is the kind she’s only ever been exposed to physically.

I haven’t put much thought into what I want from the Warriors, because thoughts of anything Marley adjacent always tend to irritate me. They’re trapped in a broken cycle that they’re perpetuating, and that makes them impossible to root for.

But I think Gabi needs her cousin.

She’s always wanted to be strong for him, and he’s only clinging to life because he wants to be strong for her and Falco.

Reiner knows what it’s like to learn that your simple world is infinitely more complicated than you can bear. This is his little cousin, and she’s gone through the crash course version of his nightmare. She doesn’t need the right answer that makes it all okay (there isn’t one), but a hug and someone understanding all of the twisting moral paradoxes shattering her insides would be such a helpful thing.

Heck, it would be good for Reiner, too. Seeing all of his pain in someone he doesn’t have the heart to blame. Maybe he could find some sort of path to peace in that.

Then everything just goes straight to hell.

Despite this chapter’s... this chapter...ness, Eren stepping straight into the backroom with his hand covered in blood? Hella fucking cool. Like. That is one thing I absolutely did not see coming, and it is a great way to bring him on back in.

I thought he wouldn’t get to talk to Armin or Mikasa until his plan exploded and they needed to bail him out. I never once expected him to just walk right in and take his buddies hostage for a nice, quiet conversation.

That said, yike.

Yike, yike, and dare I say it, yikes.

Grior reveals Our Heroes’ location, and that’s... really scary in itself, because Grior tells him that he’s grown too close with Eldians, yet Grior is helping the fanatical Eldians act in accordance with Zeke’s plans.

So it isn’t that Nicolo’s gotten too close with Eldians, it’s that he’s grown close to them without the purpose of exploiting them. Which, as every Marleyan soldier knows, is a bad thing.

And Floch doesn’t mind. He’s accepting the help of Grior without any comment.

Let’s do a brief headcount: Yelena, Zeke, and Eren run a cult of fanatic Eldians under the banner of a new Eldian Empire. Paradis’ military is theoretically running Paradis but really sentenced to the whims of said cult. At least one prisoner of war sides with helping out the cult. The Anti-Marley Volunteers (or at least Onyankopon) are in the dark.

Floch is, partially, willing to let Zeke’s plans play out however they may because they can work to destabilize the current Paradis government.

It’s fitting that this chapter is called, “Ignorance.” Willful and unwillful.

And as Eren says, nothing is further from freedom.

Now let’s get to the fun happy times of EMA.

See? Eren gets out of prison and the first thing on his mind is talking to his best friends! Such a touching, emotional sentiment!

...

Yeah, do you guys know where to begin? I don’t.

This is just.

Honestly, I keep moving back to yikes?

Eren is gathering people he has no emotional attachment to to his side, and aggressively pushing his friends away. He is doing everything he can to abandon them on the roadside and make sure they will have zero desire to come crawling back to him.

The question is if he’s doing this because he believes it’s best within his own head, he believes it’s the best response to being threatened into this, or if Eren’s just gone completely haywire in the membrane and his PTSD is finally attacking people besides himself emotionally.

This kind of deliberate cruelty has like. motive.

Mikasa tries to talk to Eren by reminding him of how kind he is. The warmth is what saves her in her mind, not the violence. She’s the one to bring up the kidnapping.

Eren counters.

Nothing like kindness saves her. It’s biology. Friendship doesn’t bind them, slavery does. Happenstance brings them together and keeps them there.

Mikasa argues. She says he’s wrong, and tells him it’s because of him that she’s strong, meaning him as a person.

Eren doesn’t address that. Despite being the one to ask how he’s wrong, when he’s given an attempt at an answer, he keeps monologuing rather than respond to Mikasa’s feelings for him. He brings up her headaches.

Mikasa is dead, and a slave, and he hates her.

“Do you know who I hate most in this world? Anyone who isn’t free.”

Ignorance is furthest from freedom. Even in this script Eren has adopted, no matter how much of it is the truth, if Eren’s seeking to relieve Mikasa of her ignorance, he’s seeking to bring the slave he hates so much freedom. From him.

Funny, she might protect Eren automatically, but she doesn’t have any problem with headaches when Armin punches Eren and makes him bleed.

Armin earns a less prolonged speech before all of it, and it’s...

For both of them, this is the worst thing they could hear from Eren. Armin, as a child, always feels useless next to his strong friends. His huge moment in Trost comes from realizing they never see him that way. It’s all in his head.

This isn’t in his head. This is Eren, telling him he’s useless.

Telling him that Bertolt, who’s only in his head because Eren fought tooth and nail to put him there, is interfering with his free will.

(Also even if everything Eren is saying is the bull it feels like, can has Frieda!Eren? Memory seepage. Canonize my brotp, manga. Do it.

(Double also, lol at Eren saying that memories are part of who you are, and Armin having Bertolt’s means bad things, but Eren having... lots has no effect, he is teh free as a bird. Kiddo, you are not a good bad guy.))

Eren calls himself free before he starts talking. He’s free from his ignorance in a way they are not, and he chooses to enlighten his friends.

Good grief. And more grief. Less than good grief?

Terrible grief?

ALL the grief.

Eren’s the one who wants a peaceful talk with his friends. All so he can beat the crap out of them physically and emotionally.

Eren.

What in the fuck. What reason could you possibly have to need Armin and Mikasa that far away from you? Why do they need to be pushed out of trying to see the good in you?

I’m sure there’s a reason, because story.

But wow.

Killing younglings was one thing. Lording the high ground and your blood brother over your real family?

Your heroic sacrifice where you finally die and everyone’s crying about how you did all this stupid stuff alone but truly for a good cause had better make me cry like a damn baby kid, or you are dead to me.

Additionally, heeeey. Guess what.

Guess what Eren’s learned about important things.

And throwing them away.

Can you guess.

Can you.

It’s the family he has that isn’t pro-murder.

That’s actually of serious interest to me, because one of the things I think the story has been moving towards is an actual examination of the belief that you need to sacrifice things to change things. While Armin states that in a philosophical, hey, this seems like how we win, way, the story has, more and more, focused on the love that keeps people from making certain sacrifices.

Eren’s thrown love, the only reason Armin’s alive to punch him, away.

For as dark as this story is, that’s never been the right choice. Letting people go is understood and respected. Disloyalty is scorned and rejected.

My theory for a while has been that the true answer to these sacrifices is that if you throw away the things you care about to change the world, that world will have changed into something abominable.

The world would be a different place if Sasha didn’t care about killing children.

Sasha being Sasha is why Nicolo tries to fight Zeke’s plans.

Eren’s world without Armin and Mikasa is not going to be a better one for him, and possibly not for anyone else, either.

Then we lead into...

Things that just make me really, really uncomfortable.

I don’t mind people like Levi suggesting that someone eats Zeke, then dies in a few months when Historia eats that person. I. That’s fine. That’s a fine plan, and it makes sense for where they’re at, and anyone who agreed to that would agree, no issue.

Historia’s plotline continues to make me... uncomfortable is really the word. Not the tragic, devastating uncomfortable that Eren’s stuff is. Just... the sickening kind. The fact that people have, off-screen, come to terms with perpetuating the same kind of bloody sacrifice of their children that plagues their entire society after we had an entire arc ending with Historia going hey, actually fuck that...

A thirteen-year-old being bred to eat its mother is a disgusting concept.

I know I’ve said it before, and I realize people are probably done with my feelings on the subject, but if that is really the story being told--even if it avoids that conclusion, the fact that a scheme like that is allowed to get so far without any comment to the contrary except by the Kylo Ren wannabe at the very start--

Why in the fuck should I care what happens to these people?

You raise a child to die for you, you don’t deserve to live.

What happens if they don’t consent in thirteen years? What if they don’t want to eat their mommy? Oh well, we’re going to force you, just like every other Eldian society from the dawn of time? Or guilt you into it because thousands of lives depend on you having none?

Fuck all of you. If that’s your plan, I don’t mind Zeke killing each and every last one of you. I will naturally prefer if he dies in the process, but it’s not the prerequisite you might think.

(Repeated statement that at this point, I will be doing my fandom activities until the series ends, but yeah. This is the place where I choose to opt out, emotionally, if it’s really going down like this.)

Um. In news that actually matters to people who aren’t me, heeeeey, Levi alone in the forest with 31 titans.

This is why the SnK kinkmeme was created.

It’s also really sad.

They killed the titans inside their home.

Zeke’s bringing them back.

Annie needs to kick so many people in the head I can’t even.

[musicmaking-basics]

Opinion: Frustrating Fanboys

Oh, how I would like it if this were about frustrating the fanboys, but no... it’s about irritating fanboys, the likes of which you run across when you frequent social media for a while.

To me a fanboy is someone who is so emotionally attached to a product or line of products, they start to irrationally defend things worthy of criticism or can see no wrong in a company’s behavior.

In general fanboys cluster around companies that make quality products on average. The two examples I’m listing are high profile companies that make popular products and in general have a good reputation.

FL Studio All Plugins Edition

The recent controversy is FL Studio by Image-Line. Apparently usually FL Studio doesn’t go on sale, but this year one edition did - the “All Plugins Edition”. It is their most expensive offer currently. They offer quite a rebate, too!

Where it gets fishy is that apparently the All Plugins Edition is not only new - maybe introduced with this sale? I couldn’t verify, but people on social media claim it - but named almost alike to the previous All Plugins Bundle which came for a similar price point (non-rebated).

People have been confused by the wording. The All Plugins Bundle contained all of FL Studio’s plugins also as VST versions you could use outside of FL Studio and many people like that. In contrast, the All Plugins Edition contains only plugins internal to FL Studio - what many people would consider an inferior offer. The information is not exactly hidden and not exactly advertised. They say “native” plugins and if you go into the details of any plugin on offer you get this:

All of this were kinda fine were it not for the fact of the way the product is named. It is not named “All Native Plugins Edition” - but it is named almost but not quite alike to the popular “All Plugins Bundle” which you can still buy from resellers.

For me that was a hard pass. But cue the fanboys... People started to point this out and complain about it in social media, calling it basically misleading marketing.

Fanboy defense #1: Do your due diligence. Read everything, all manuals, EULAs, whatever. (And people who don’t do this are ignorant, etc.)

But... None of this changes that the name is intentionally misleading. It’s a shite move intended to confuse buyers. And it seems to work. Why blame customers for this? They didn’t pick the name!

Fanboy defense #2: All major DAWs contain internal/native plugins mostly in their bundles. Everybody does it.

But... They didn’t release an almost identically named product that allures to a previous product, making it seem that a much coveted product had gone on sale and then perform a sleight of hand hiding behind asterisks and the word “native.”

Fanboy defense #3: You can use FL Studio as a host plugin in another DAW.

Technically correct, but the overhead of using a full host plugin instead of an instrument plugin consumes more CPU and memory. It probably also adds to the latency. These things aren’t trivialities when you try to make any kind of moderately complex projects, even with modern computers. This is the main reason why people buy VST versions of popular Imagine-Line plugins, after all. To get efficient access to their capabilities.

Hey, nobody was saying FL Studio isn’t good. But fanboys put all blame solely on anyone voicing criticism of a company that just is trying to pull a 400 bucks fast one. 

Things that fanboys will do: Never concede a single point, and if you actualy do, immediately raise another smoke screen as diversion. The company can do no wrong...

And we’ll see more of this.

Spitfire Audio Refund policy

I recently ran afoul, admittedly unexpectedly, of the refund policy of Spitfire Audio. I bought a plugin by them and it just wasn’t really good - in my opinion. So I researched if I could get a refund for my 100 bucks purchase.

You should have seen the vitriol I found when others opened such topics. (I did some research.) It’s one of the worse corners of the internet. People who even brought up the topic were ridiculed, basically called ignorant, and made wrong in every possible way. Quite hostile!

The refund policy of SA is quite easy - if you downloaded it, you can’t refund.

Now there’s the justification that you already got the samples and could do whatever you want with them - they are sample-based instruments after all. And furthermore you can watch the walkthrough videos and listen to sample pieces to get an impression.

And that’s just silly. What did they promise me for eDNA Earth? Thousands of of interesting presets. The walkthrough video seemed interesting, I watched it. I knew what the software can be roughly expected to do. What I couldn’t know: The presets accompanying it sound all alot the same. Lots and lots of slow-evolving sounds, kind of drone-ish. There was no true variety. It does mostly one thing. Try gleaming that from a video intended to market it.

And that’s something you find out by trying things. Since this is a Kontakt instrument they probably could have encrypted the samples or definitely have made a demo you can fool around with. But they didn’t.

I didn’t take to social media to vent my frustration. I didn’t have the heart for it, seeing how people had behaved on previous occasions. I just chalked it up as a loss and learning experience.

Fanboy Defense #1: It’s all there in the EULA.

This is indeed correct, but the first question is - why should we defend them for refusing refunds? I think this no-refund policy actually penalizes people who are willing to put down money for their products in the first place. Why do we defend this circumventing of good consumer protection practices?

Fanboy Defense #2: You should have read the manual.

People on a forum (KVR Audio) were acting like reading the manual of a Spitfire Product is an eye-opening revelation that would have prevented any mistakes from being made.

I read the manual for the nearly-a-thousand-bucks BBC Symphonic Orchestra Pro. At 43 pages it isn’t very informative! I couldn’t even ascertain whether the Leader microphones meant you could use the section leaders as soloists, in fact the manual gave me the opposite impression - that they just make the group sound smaller. (Not true.)

Out of these 43 pages a lot is installation and such and the topic of available articulations, techniques, etc is basically handled in 5 pages of plain lists at the end. There is no level of detail here, and pointing to such a manual and claiming this will answer your questions is... bollocks.

Fanboy Defense #3: They do walkthrough videos, really detailed ones.

They do! Often really impressive, highlighting the strengths of each product. But also a marketing tool, so they won’t tell you what it can’t do, it’s always obviously good for everything, too. All is fair in marketing!

But this is where it gets highly annoying - it’s not only the fanboys who voice that this is enough. They are repeating SA’s stated policy back to you. And it’s a weak one - because a marketing video is at odds with the idea of fully informing you.

Having said that, another user helped me out with my questions about section Leader mikes and the walkthrough of BBCSO shows how to use them to solo the section leader. You can gleam a lot of information about what a thing can do from their walkthrough video.

But... try to find out what it cannot do? That’s detective work.

Fanboy Defense #4: All other orchestral vendors do it too.

This is... just facepalm territory. You can’t call out something bad because nobody does it better.

Fanboy Defense #5: There’s no way to protect the samples.

Well, it seems like Kontakt has a way. (eDNA Earth, for example, is a Kontakt library.) You can encrypt samples. (Cue fanboys: “NOOOO. I don’t want encrypted samples!!” I’m talking about a demo here.) This is an industry requiring multiple authentication solutions to exist on your computer, which watermarks your samples to prevent piracy, which requires USB dongles, logging into online accounts, and what not.

And you tell me they can’t do a demo that protects their intellectual property? In the age of DRM? I would be willing to accept DRM in a demo if it leads to both sides winning - the customer can try before buying, and SA protects its IP. Fine with me, nobody has to use the demo after all.

Case in point: BBSCO Discovery is beautiful demo of the basic capabilities of BBCSO. It actually excited me about the library. Can I try every feature? No. Can I collect my own impression? Yes. And there’s a good chance I will upgrade it on their next sale. Both can win - SA and me. Why not always this way? (This one doesn’t even require DRM or sample encryption, so that’s an awesome bonus.)

Conclusion

And much more would be possible. Maybe if we stop drinking the industry’s Kool Aid they would actually improve their offers in these regards too. They are, after all, there to earn our money. That is their purpose.

I don’t fault them for wanting to earn money. I am aware they put a lot of work in to make quality products. They should get fair compensation.

But that doesn’t shield them from all criticism in areas where they are clearly lacking. Unfair marketing practices need to be called out. Refund policies undermining basic consumer rights because they can get away with it (thanks, politics!) need to be called out.

You need to be able to at least voice your frustration or annoyance without being belittled by a rabid horde of fanboys. Love the products all you want, and I sure don’t hate them, either! I just find things worthy of criticism and criticize them. They can continue making great products without these policies. Why find ever new ways of saying “No, this is really great! (Except for you.) They shouldn’t change anything! (Especially not for your benefit.)”

People who bring criticism are not saying a product or company is shit. They are saying something is not right here. I have no idea what the fanboys get out of their behavior - is it a self-righteous validation? Or is their identity so tied into a product that any criticism is taken personal? These are companies, folks. They want to make money. They need checks and balances from the consumer side because clearly no one else will do it apparently.

As I said: Love the products. Enjoy your purchases. Make great music. But don’t hate on people who disagree or run afoul of a corporate policy.

[mysticscanlations]

There's an english option so I feel dumb for asking but has anyone managed to buy the book set? I tried so many times but my payment won't go through. On the Payment Review page, under "customer" , there's only the mail I used for my account but no space for me to write my home address for the shipment. Does anyone know if there's a way to edit my profile to add my personal information like the address etc? T_T

I GOT A RESPONSE FROM THIS SITE, ANON!!

(note that they only accept VISA, MASTER, or JCB credit cards, though T__T)(also note that buying from here probably won’t enter you in the comico event giveaway :/ )

so if you have one of those cards, use this walkthrough to make an account/purchase on their site!

1. click on the link above to get to the link for Volume 1 of Unlucky Mansion! then click on the circled button ( “Purchase Immediately” )

QUICK NOTE THAT THIS IS JUST VOLUME 1! if you want volume 2 as well then instead click on the button next to the one circled above ( “Add to Cart” ). A quick popup will say that the item has been added to your cart. To find volume 2, scroll down just a little bit and you’ll see it under the Recommended Items!

Click on the book, and add that to your cart as well. To access your cart, look in the upper right corner of your page and click on the circled button.

You’ll see your cart items, and then you can click on the button circled below to get to the order page.

2. Now it’s going to ask you to create an account. Click on the circled button ( “Create An Account” ).

3. That will take you to the page below. This part is a blessing because there’s an English signup for non-Koreans T__T Comico needs to learn from them smh ANYWAYS click on the “Resident Abroad” section!

4. The sign up application will in ~ENGLISH~ so that part should be fine ^^ Enter in your information and then click Create Account! That will take you to this page, which just says your account was successfully completed! Click on circled button to Confirm.

5. NOW FOR ORDERING. You need to click on this orange box below, which says “Please Click Here For Overseas Shipping”!

6. You just need to fill in the boxes with the red asterisk (which are in english

7. After you click the pink button at the bottom to move on to the next step, you’ll get a window that looks like this.

You can basically ignore this section, since these are options you can select if you want to use Point Cards (it’s one of those Korean things where if you rack up enough points, you can get discounts and stuff). 

8. So scroll on down until you see this!

The thing I circled in red will already be checked, which is fine. It says “Credit Card”, which is what we’re using. Make sure that’s checked and then click on the thing I circled in blue to open drop-down menu. This is where you’ll select your credit card!

So choose either VISA, MASTER, or JCB and then click on the pink Continue button ^^

9. You’ll be taken to a payment pop-up screen that looks like the one below. AND LOOK YOU CAN CHOOSE AN ENGLISH VERSION OF THE PAYMENT SECTION TOO!! God bless this site. They treat us international fans right. 

So once that’s translated, you can go through the payment process (entering in your credit card info, etc.) and then confirm your payment! After that, I would assume that your order will have gone through ^o^ I think you’ll most likely get some sort of confirmation email or something? If you need help reading it (if there’s no option to translate) then feel free to message me! Message me if you’re having trouble too, I’ll do my best to help!

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Fantastic Four #150: Ultron-7: He’ll Rule the World!

September, 1974

It never stops being weird whenever something that is not Avengers follows the colon after Essential Avengers but hey if every comic was Avengers, I wouldn’t need to have that Essential Avengers bit there at all to make absolutely sure that everybody knows that this is an Avengers liveblog and not a Fantastic Four liveblog.

And also because I started out reading from the black and white Essentials trade.

Anyway, geez. I didn’t think it could get more ridiculous than Ultron “my butt is jet powered” 6 but here we have a giant Ultron head on the body of a giant robot that is for some reason dressed in red spandex. What is with your fashion, the Inhumans?

Forget everything about the Kree, the Inhumans were really created when someone planned a society where superhero wear like onesies and masks are considered casual wear.

I like the cover caption though. “Ultron grabs the bridal bouquet -- and the bride!” Because imagine Ultron at a wedding for reals. Imagine him seriously getting the bouquet and being thrilled that he is going to get married next. Because that’s all Ultron wants. He wants to turn Janet Van Dyne into a naked robot and then marry her. And he will name her Jocasta because subtlety is for other people.

Of course, the real title of this (part of the) issue is “ULTRON-7: HE’LL RULE THE WORLD*” and I know the asterisk is to note that the first part of this story was in Avengers #127 but I can’t help but think of a disclaimer that says something like “void where prohibited.”

Ultron-7, of course, decides to take some time gloating. In fact, he so wants to revel in his victory that he unparalyzes everyone.

Ben immediately tries to throw a large, indeterminate object at Ultron despite Reed’s warning but gets SPACHOOM!’d for his trouble.

Meanwhile, Agatha Harkness was not affected by the paralyzing for some reason so has absconded somewhere with the comatose Franklin Richards.

Franklin has been in a coma since Fantastic Four #141 when his dad, Reed, put him in one. I won’t offer context. Just know that it happened.

Reed wonders how Ultron came to possess Omega’s body and because its Ultron, he of course decides to explain it all. Maximus found Ultron’s decapitated head after Avengers #68 and brought it the Inhuman’s Great Refuge with a long-distance tractor beam.

Since Black Bolt is both an idiot and guilty over Maximus’ unstable mental condition, Maximus was provided a bunch of scientific equipment to amuse himself. With that equipment, Maximus revived Ultron’s head and attached it to the mindless body of Omega.

Maximus intended for Ultron to be his ally in taking over the Inhumans but instead Ultron turned on him.

With the exposition out of the way, I guess its time for the big fight scene. And Ultron is already halfway there. Cause he’s big.

Of course, even though he could splatter most of these chumps with a punch, he can also just dissolve their brains with squiggle rays.

Ultron gloats that all the heroes’ skulls will be filled with psychic rubble and that there’s nothing they can do to stop it at all.

Except Ultron reckoned without a small child.

Ultron’s psychic assault was enough to awaken Franklin from his dad-induced coma and rouse a brain with enough power to consume an entire planet.

And disturbed from his sleep, Franklin lashes out and destroys Ultron’s brain.

I’d say its an ignominious defeat, perhaps Ultron’s most ignominious of all, but it’s about right. Ultron is for all intents and purposes a screaming pissbaby, so its about right that he get taken out by an actual child.

Although in terms of a cliffhanger, this is about as disappointing as the resolution from the end of Rise of the Cybermen to The Age of Steel.

Anyway, Ultron-7 is super dead.

And Reed is thrilled. Not about that. But that Franklin’s dangerous powers seem to be gone now. Booyah, his decision to put his child into a coma is retroactively justified!

Any everyone around can’t help but smile at seeing a family reunited and also Ultron dead because screw that wedding crasher.

But that’s only a little over half of the book. Yup. Omega Ultron-7, the big cliffhanger crossover from Avengers to Fantastic Four was dealt with halfway into the book.

The rest of the book is the wedding.

It’s smart actually. Everyone knows that superhero weddings get interrupted by supervillains. So instead, they scheduled the supervillain interruption for before the wedding.

As we begin part 2 “The Wedding of Crystal and Quicksilver” weirdly angelic Inhumans fly around tooting ridiculous horns.

And we get a bunch of vignettes of the various characters preparing for the wedding.

There’s Alicia Masters and Ben Grimm getting ready. And it takes Thor to try to wrestle the Thing into formal attire before giving up under threats of violence.

Reed and Sue reminisce about their wedding and Reed asks if Sue remembers it. And Sue is like no shit I remember our wedding, but that’s because I’m a woman and not because Doctor Doom tried to kill us all that day. And then Reed apologizes by stealing flowers from across the street.

Thor and Iron Man bond over being star-crossed in love. Thor, having two great loves that something always keeps him apart from. And Iron Man, having lost his great love Pepper when she married his best friend.

And over a hundred guests show up for the wedding. But Johnny Storm and Medusa tarry. Johnny and Medusa have a talk about Johnny’s old relationship with Crystal. Medusa reassures him that Crystal loved him once but that people change. And Johnny admits that he thought he was adjusted to the idea of Crystal marrying someone else the previous day but now he feels like there’s glass breaking inside of him.

Medusa offers to stay with him while he deals with these feels. And an odd little definitely unintended precursor to the two of them dating later. Huh.

And then the wedding (Damnit Quicksilver, put on a damn tux or something).

Black Bolt gives his silent blessing.

The Whizzer watches the wedding on a monitor screen at Avengers Mansion, because at this point this is his son’s wedding, before the retcons.

And then Crystal, Quicksilver and Lockjaw teleport away for their honeymoon.

And despite his conflict broken glass feelings, Johnny finds himself smiling after all.

It’s all very lovely and only slightly diminished by knowledge of what their marriage will come to in the years to follow. Oh endless sequential shared universe storytelling. You make fools of us all.

Of course, this is far more of a Fantastic Four story then an Avengers story. Sure, the Fantastic Four borrow Ultron from the Avengers’ rogues gallery but its Franklin Richards who defeats him. We check in with Iron Man and Thor being sad sacks for a bit but mostly we check in with the Fantastic Four and Inhumans. Johnny Storm gets the final panel, having accepted that Crystal is marrying someone else.

But it is Scarlet Witch’s absence which is damning. She appears in some crowd shots in the first half but once the wedding half of the issue gets underway, she’s nowhere to be seen. She gets no dialogue in this issue. This is the wedding of the brother who has disowned her and we don’t learn anything about how the moment is affecting her.

We don’t even see her in the wedding audience! We see Vision but Wanda isn’t next to him. Its a big oversight and a huge wasted opportunity.

Next time in Avengers: Necrodamus. Didn’t I briefly cover him while discussing the Defenders?

[ariyadaivaris]

i’m writing this up while it’s still Pre-Wrestlemania because i’m still kind of proud of it and i should probably post it while it’s relevant

anyway i think in the lead-up to wrestlemania could have been MUCH different and we could have seen a bayley vs sasha match for the championship, but the thing is the booking for this diverges a lot from what canon became, and it does involve a betrayal. 

bayley’s uncomfortable holding this championship when she knows sasha interfered to help her win it and retain it. she’s showed this, she doesn’t feel RIGHT as champion with an asterisk attached. and in the weeks leading to WM, charlotte keeps facing her and interfering in her matches (with other women on the roster because as long as we’re doing fantasy booking i can dream), and sasha will always chase charlotte off, or help bayley to win against charlotte. 

and bayley knows this. sasha doesn’t know that bayley’s been paying attention to this, but bayley is aware that every time she and charlotte have faced off for this title, she’s won because of sasha. she knows she doesn’t need sasha to win, but the thing is...sasha is trying to plant the seeds of doubt in her mind. not maliciously! sasha loves bayley, she does, more than anything, she just...well, bayley can’t beat charlotte on her own, see? it takes sasha’s help for her to win. sasha’s beaten charlotte for the title before, bayley can’t beat charlotte on her own, and if sasha can beat charlotte then she can beat bayley for the championship. 

this isn’t something sasha’s doing out of any hatred for bayley. she doesn’t hate bayley. they bring out the best of each other in the ring, and out of the ring (and sometimes, they bring out the worst), and sasha feels like bayley’s just happy to be here. why wouldn’t she be? bayley’s Bayley, and as much as she earned sasha’s respect in nxt, over time something shifted back into place. bayley will always have to prove herself to everyone, and she has to prove this to sasha, that she isn’t an nxt star touring with the REAL roster for a bit, that she isn’t a bubbly wrestling fan just thrilled to be here. bayley has to prove that just because she came up to the main roster late, that doesn’t mean she’s any less legitimate than sasha is. 

sasha loves bayley, but bayley’s so nice, and she has to be happy just for the experience at mania. bayley doesn’t WANT to be champion like sasha or charlotte do, sasha knows bayley’s got a good heart, jesus, she went through the same thing sasha did and yet, at takeover respect, after everything she’d gone through, she still offered a hand to sasha to help her stand back up. she didn’t become cruel like sasha did to survive. bayley’s too nice, and sasha used to resent her for that, and that’s just become...an idea that bayley’s too nice to win now. which is absolutely NOT true but sasha doesn’t realize that. sasha wants to win, she wants to prove she’s better than bayley, better than charlotte, she isn’t like bayley who’s happy to steal the show or wrestle at wrestlemania, sasha came here to be the BEST. 

bayley isn’t stupid or naive, is the thing. heLLO, bayley’s a wrestling fan, the only horsewoman less naive than bayley is probably charlotte and that’s because she grew up in the business! bayley knows wrestling, she knows when people are about to go for their finishers, she knows the difference between a sincere promo and a surprise attack, and she knows when someone could be persuaded to take her on for the title. she knows sasha won’t let her win on her own. and bayley, sweet bayley, so secure in being Just Bayley, she’s having doubts and she NEEDS to prove to everyone that she can do this on her own. bayley’s determined, and she’s true to herself, and she can’t stand the idea that sasha’s lying to her to get closer to the title. she needs sasha to be honest, and she can only figure out one way to get there. 

sasha runs out and breaks up a fight between charlotte and bayley, chasing charlotte away, and she’s glowing with the thrill of adrenaline and victory and successful intimidation, and bayley’s holding her title and staring down at it and thinking about how sasha won’t let her do this alone, and she’s tearing up in frustration and she hates it, hates feeling this way. sasha turns back to her and notices her distress and takes her hand and pulls her close and just hugs her, and in that exact moment bayley knows this might be the last time she ever gets to hug sasha. she holds on for a long time, drops the belt to the mat to get closer to sasha, holding onto sasha’s hand desperately, tears staining sasha’s shoulder, and she can only think “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry” 

and sasha pulls out of the hug and touches her forehead to bayley and tells her it’s gonna be alright, and bayley makes a small noise that could be agreement, and sasha starts to pull away with bayley still holding her hand

and bayley keeps holding her hand

and then bayley yanks on sasha’s arm and hits her with the bayley to belly

sasha makes this agonized noise when she hits the mat and so does bayley, bayley’s got her head tucked against sasha’s side for a second, arms still sprawled over her stomach, and she slowly gets to her knees, carried up by a roar of grief echoed all through the wwe universe. she’s trying not to cry but she starts sobbing, sasha struggles, trying to roll over onto her side, to look at bayley, and bayley has to crawl on top of sasha and just hit her, and hit her, and hit her, sobbing and screaming that she NEEDS to do this alone, she can’t do this with sasha’s help, she doesn’t need sasha’s help, stay down, please, sasha, stay down, she can do this, she doesn’t need a dana brooke, she doesn’t need a ric flair, she doesn’t need a chris jericho, and she doesn’t need a sasha banks, there’s only one person she needs to keep this title and it’s herself. 

just bayley.

bayley stumbles up the ramp clinging to the title and bawling, sasha’s in the ring broken and in shock, the mania match becomes more than a championship match, it becomes a desperate attempt at a conversation. bayley and sasha have issues and they need to talk them through but maybe this is the only way they can do it, violence is the only language bayley speaks that sasha can understand, sasha needs to prove herself and bayley has never had her insecurities and they don’t understand each other for that, and so if they can’t speak that way yet, they have to communicate like this. they have to talk to each other. they have to realize what they’re doing wrong, what they’re missing, what’s getting lost in translation, and they have to heal

neither of them turn heel. this booking kind of doesn’t...have alignments, so much. bayley’s so much of a babyface it’d be nigh impossible to turn her anyway. this isn’t about good versus evil, it’s about two people who are scared and frustrated and angry, two people who love each other, two people trying to prove they can be good enough for this industry. good enough for each other, on some level. it’s not just flinging bodies into the ring, it’s a story, and it’s one i really wish could have been told. but lmao i guess typing up endless words about it is alright, too. 

[seriouslyhooked]

Wedded Bliss and Asterisks (A Modern CS AU) Part 7/?

Emma Swan is an enemy of love who just happens to be an up and coming wedding dress designer. She’s convinced that a fairytale kind of romance is nowhere in her future but when she meets Killian Jones, whose magazine is covering the opening of her new boutique, things change. Suddenly Emma finds herself drawing up new plans for her life, ones that seem to all be leading towards her own form of wedded bliss. Rated M.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six.  Also on FF Here.

A/N: Hey all! This chapter returns to the usual length for this story and flashes forward a few days. It includes Killian finishing up the article, Emma seeing a rare case of true love in her shop, and some usual displays of fluff and cuteness. Hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading!

As Friday morning turned into early afternoon, Killian found himself wandering through the top floor of the offices that Citizen NY owned to locate the woman who had thrust this damned article on him and give her a piece of his mind.

Okay so maybe he wasn’t en route to outwardly chastise Belle, but he needed her right now, mostly to ease his mind about this article once and for all. He’d been working on it diligently for days now and the bare bones of it had been done for a while, but all morning he tinkered and toyed with the words and the direction. Killian wanted the article to be brilliant (because that was what Emma and her friends deserved), but it was hard to gauge whether he was letting his clear attachment to one of the subjects of his story cloud his judgment on good work. After all, it would be just as bad for him to submit a piece that was all pap and no substance as it would be to teeter too far the other way and make it some kind of personal expose using the information he’d gathered.

Rather than let himself stew any longer in the article’s worth and potential success or failure, he approached Belle’s office and readied himself for some honest feedback one way or another. Good or bad, he trusted Belle to tell it to him straight, even if she’d orchestrated this madness in the first place. He knocked at the doorway to her office and was immediately greeted by a pleasant and warm smile when she looked up to him and then to the papers in his hand.

“Is that it?” Belle asked, her desire to read it evident.

“It is. I was hoping you could -,” he wasn’t able to get the whole request for assistance out out before Belle ran around the desk and grabbed the papers from his hand, moving back slowly as she responded.

“Read the heck out of this and make sure you didn’t mess it all up? I’ve got you covered, boss.”

Killian nodded at Belle’s humorous affirmations and though he could have easily taken a seat, he opted to stand, moving around the room as Belle analyzed every word and image and turn of phrase. Killian knew what she was reading almost by heart, for he’d read this story over and over again more times than he could count. His instincts told him he’d landed upon something worthwhile, but now he was too far in his own head to be sure.

He was tempted more than once to look Belle’s way and to see her reactions to the narrative he’d chosen in real time. It was a multi-faceted approach and in some ways he’d split up the segments of the business, but every woman and every element of Bliss Boutique was woven together throughout the article somehow. The fabric of the story was that there could be no Bliss without each part present, and that each friend likewise needed her pillars of support too. That spun forward into a tale of New York City exceptionalism, and how these four women were not only innovators but dreamers who had chosen this city over others because of what it could offer.

Killian knew as a writer that it wasn’t really his place to surmise about where the business would go even if he felt them destined for a long and profitable run. He instead imparted that Emma and her partners were vastly exceeding their original estimates and plans, and that this was all pointing in a favorable direction for Bliss Boutique. But the ending of the article was one particular quote from Emma that had been too perfect not to include:

“We’re in the business of a feeling that everyone’s looking for but is still very rare. Love is illusive, even a city where you’re never really alone, but it’s something nearly everybody wants. As long as people are looking, as long as people keep believing that love can happen and when it does it should be celebrated, we’ll be here playing our part in that and reminding them that love or happiness or anything of the kind starts with them.”

That quote from one of their later interviews this week had stuck out so much to Killian, mostly because right after that Emma added something off the record. She admitted to Killian that she herself was a skeptic and had been for some time. She’d seen love, yes, but she didn’t know if it was worth it, and now after their date and getting to know each other better, she was reconsidering that mentality, which gave Killian more hope for them and their future than anything else ever could.

The rustle of papers shifting onto the desk caught Killian’s attention and he looked up to Belle who sat there shaking her head. When her eyes looked up to catch Killian’s, he had a second’s worth of hesitation, but then his friend smiled widely and he could see he had nothing to fear from her review in the slightest.

“Killian, this is… I don’t even have words except to saw wow! I mean really, I knew there was a story here but this is impressive. Maybe you shouldn’t just be doing those letters from the editor. I know you’re busy, but this is great.” Belle’s enthusiasm was genuine and to some extent it soothed the worry that had been plaguing Killian since he set down to actually write the article, but he felt himself still harboring some doubts.

“Do you think it does them justice?” Belle gaped at him.

“Seriously? I think it goes above and beyond what any of them is expecting. When I pitched this to Ruby it was kind of a puff piece, but this… somehow you managed to mix who they are with what they’re doing so seamlessly. It’s fantastic.”

But will Emma be okay with it? That was the integral question that had been banging around in his head for some time now, and honestly it was Killian’s most important consideration.

Over the past few days, Killian had become privy to enough fascinating information about Emma to fill the whole bloody magazine, but even if Emma was letting him in she was a private person by nature. There were moments that she’d allowed to go on the record that revealed so much about her and the last thing Killian ever wanted was to make her regret this, or to look back and wish she hadn’t gone so far. So Killian toed the line of what amount of background was enough as he did with all her other co-owners. In his heart Killian believed he hadn’t trespassed into unacceptable territory but he also knew that Emma mattered more than this story. It felt risky to even write this at all but since he’d given his word he wanted to be absolutely certain that what he wrote reflected well for her and the shop that she’d poured so much of herself into.

“You’re worried about Emma.” Belle stated the fact bluntly and Killian didn’t bother hiding his thoughts on that.

“Aye.”

“Well you shouldn’t be. She’s going to love it,” Belle promised sounding absolutely convinced.

“It has to be right, Belle. This story – I have to get it right. There’s no second chances and I’ve got to be sure.” Killian uttered the words forcefully and watched as Belle stood up, patted the papers down so they were all lined up evenly, and handed it back to him.

“Well you can be sure. I would stake my career on it. This is perfect, and Emma will see that.”

Killian accepted the papers back and ran his hand through his hair. He trusted Belle to give him her honest opinion, and though he was closer with Will, Belle had experience with Emma in some capacity and with her friends. She was the best ally he had for gauging once and for all, because as much as he might like to, he couldn’t share the story with Emma just yet. She and her friends would have to wait for the magazine to be in print. That had always been the policy of this magazine, and though Killian was desperate to change that and make an exception, he wouldn’t do that to the men and women on his staff who had been good enough to adhere to the rule.

After thanking Belle for taking the time once more, Killian walked back to his office searching for some kind of last sign that he was handling this correctly. He didn’t think that such a sign existed, but when he returned to his desk and noticed a text from Emma he immediately felt his mood improving. With deft fingers he moved to read it and smiled when he did.

E: Remind me why I turned you down for that lunch date today.

Her argument last night was that she had far too much to do and a multitude of projects and consults on her plate and Killian assumed that hadn’t changed. What was probably different now was Emma’s level of wanting to deal with those commitments. He knew she was a hard worker, driven and determined in a very admirable way, but she was also taking on a lot. Her schedule often made his seem tame, and he felt like he was running around in circles day in and day out. Then again she was just starting to lay the foundation of what would one day be her empire, and Killian had found his routine a long time ago.

K: Because you knew I’d ask you to dinner when you said no and that means we’ll have more time together in the end.

He sent out the text not really thinking it over. Only after a moment of her not responding did Killian realize that it was awfully presumptive. He was assuming that Emma was like him in her need to spend as many precious moments as could be had together, but that might not be accurate. He was lucky to have convinced her to see him as much as he had so far this week, and this text could be pushing too far. He worried about that until the moment she replied back and allayed his fears.

E: Oh right. Well I guess I’m now one of those cliché people living for the weekend then.

The thrill that moved through him at Emma’s admission was intense, but as much as he loved it he felt the need to assure her that she was so much more than the ordinary person.

K: You could never be anything but a complete original, love.

E: Is that what you wrote in the article? ;)

Pretty much, but Killian smiled at her attempt to get him to reveal what he’d written specifically. It had become a bit of a game between the two of them, and though he had been worried only minutes ago, he wasn’t now. Emma played at wanting to know more, but there had come a moment when they were out last night when she told him that she trusted him to do this story right, and that she didn’t have anything against Belle, but she actually preferred knowing that he was writing the piece. She didn’t say that she believed he would protect her in any way, but that was Killian’s goal – to keep Emma’s reputation as spotless as it should be while giving the world a glimpse of this remarkable woman and all she was trying to build.

K: Can’t say. But I could use your help – I’m trying to formulate that disclosure I told you about. Any thoughts?

The disclosure statement would be brief. Just a sentence or two designed to say that there was a relationship of a personal variety between him and Emma, but it needn’t get into any kind of specifics. Still with Emma he wanted more than the standard qualifier. He felt he owed her more, and a part of him liked the idea of everyone in the city (okay, everyone in Citizen NY’s readership) knowing that they were tied together. They might not have defined what this budding relationship was yet, but if Killian had his way they would soon, and it would be of a very permanent and exclusive variety.

E: You could outline point by point how our friends plotted against us. Readers would probably eat that up. People love a good matchmaking story.

K: Is that right? And have they succeeded in creating a favorable match with us, Swan?

The text was risky and it had his heart thumping loudly in Killian’s chest. He couldn’t explain the need he had to hear the confirmation from Emma, but it was there rather frequently. Maybe it stemmed from how amazed he was personally at this connection between them, but he wanted to be sure at every turn in the road and step in the journey that they were in this together and on the same page.

E: Technically they didn’t match us. We did that all on our own so we get the credit for it going so well.

Killian smiled triumphantly, thinking she was right and that both before and after their friend’s interaction they’d taken charge of their future just the two of them. This week had been the best of his life and that was thanks to Emma and to him and the choices they made themselves.

E: Now stop trying to get me to do your work for you. You said you were going to ruin me for all other writers – so prove it.

With the gauntlet thrown and her flirtatious permission given, Killian grinned, settling on the precise words he wanted to use in the disclosure. He typed it up quickly as a footnote for the article, and reread it once before sending it off to the editing staffers underneath him who would get this formatted and sent to print once and for all. When that was done he sent a final text to Emma to assure her that he would not take her challenge lightly and that he’d see her tonight.

“Tink?” He called and a second later his assistant appeared at the door.

“Yeah boss?”

“Lets push through the rest of the day faster. I’d like to get out of here as soon as we can.” Tink agreed, seeming happy for the chance at an early afternoon, but it couldn’t possibly compare to how he felt. Because whenever today was over he had Emma to return to and that was a powerful motivator indeed.

……………..

“So, Jasmine, tell us a little more about what exactly it is that you’re looking for.”

Emma sat across from their last consult of the day and was truly eager to hear the woman’s response to Tiana’s question. Since walking in a little while before, Jasmine (who Ruby informed Emma ran an international non-profit) had been nothing but smiles and admiration. This wasn’t the most surprising thing, a lot of brides looking for dresses seemed excited and happy to start, but Emma noticed there was something different about Jasmine.

For one thing she was here alone, not bringing family or friends for this moment in her life that many brides deemed important enough to share with loved ones, and for the other she was glued to her phone and every time a message came in a look of pure joy spread over her face. Emma had seen that look enough to know that this was a woman in love, but she was curious (as Tiana no doubt could sense) and wanted more details about whether this state of love would last.

“Well I don’t have a ton of time. The date we chose is only about a month away, and trust me I’ve gotten my fair share of gasps when I’ve told other people that…” Jasmine looked apologetic and Emma and Tiana shared a smile.

“That’s actually not that bad. We’ve faced tighter situations before,” Emma said and Jasmine immediately relaxed.

“I appreciate that. I can’t tell you how thrilled I was to hear about this shop. Getting everything done and organized in one place? It’s pretty much a godsend.”

“Not a big fan of planning?” Tiana asked curiously and Jasmine shook her head.

“Usually I am at work or even in my personal life but I never really considered a wedding. My father has certain ideas about what a woman should do with her life and marriage was always a part of that. Love didn’t really factor in and what can I say? I’m stubborn and that wasn’t good enough for me. I want a life on my terms done my way.”

“Good for you – settling is overrated.” Tiana’s compliment pulled a laugh from Jasmine and then a thoughtful look as she continued on.

“My thoughts exactly. But I guess I was fighting against that idea for so long in my head that I missed the part where people dream about floral arrangements and the perfect dress. I’m so out of my depths here and I really don’t care to get acquainted with all the itty bitty details. If I’m doing this, I’m doing it once and that’s it, so why know the difference between French and Italian laces, you know?”

Emma chuckled at Jasmine’s words because the mindset behind them was so familiar. Jasmine’s comments accurately depicted Emma’s feelings so much, but she was intrigued that something had altered that way of thinking for Jasmine. To see someone who was  skeptical of marriage choosing now to undertake it was always intriguing to Emma.

“So what changed?” Emma asked.

“I met Aladdin and I knew suddenly what everyone else was talking about.”

“Just like that, huh?” Tiana asked, prying for a little more information and Jasmine shook her head.

“Alright, maybe it was a little more complicated than that. On paper he’s all wrong for me – I run a multi-national operation and he’s an artist keeping weird hours and weirder habits. I hate mess and feeling like I’m not doing enough, he lives in every moment too deeply to see it that way. My family has all these expectations, and he doesn’t have anybody to think about except his bizarre looking dog that’s more ape-like than canine. But in the end my heart doesn’t care about any of our differences. He’s good to me. He values me. He loves me so surely and without fear and all it knows is that I love him too. Aladdin makes everything so much… better and he makes me better too.”

Emma and Tiana sat there listening and watching Jasmine as she honestly and openly unfurled the truth of her relationship. It was refreshing, and so much more fulfilling as an artist to hear than most of the tales other brides and their families shared with Emma and Tiana. That honesty and uniqueness told Emma that Jasmine deserved more than the average bride in terms of a dress. Tiana clearly agreed when she sent a look to Emma.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” she asked and Emma nodded.

“The dress I made Wednesday, after the date.” Tiana grinned and clapped her hands together, waving over one of the assistants and asking her to retrieve the sketch from the studio. At the same time Jasmine’s phone rang and she turned a little red before excusing herself.

“I’m sorry, I should take this. We’re on opposite schedules because he’s got a showing tonight and… I just need a minute.”

“We’ll be here.” Jasmine smiled and turned around, accepting the video call and though it was a little nosey of her, Emma took note of the man on the screen. She could see even from this distance that the same happiness Jasmine was carrying with her was clear on his face.

“This is exactly what we needed today. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love this job, I love this place, I love you, but damn if everyone we’ve seen the past two weeks hasn’t been a bit of a downer. Even the ones you know will make it work were so uninspiring. These two on the other hand have it.” Tiana declared brightly.

“I just hope she likes the dress,” Emma said thoughtfully, accepting the sketch from the assistant with a thank you and looking back at it again.

The gown Emma had designed had a classic feel. It was modest compared to many others, but fit the growing trend of delicate sleeves with detailed lacing along the arms. The cut was precise and form fitting and there was a train in back with delicate beading and adorning lace flowers to match. In Emma’s imagining it came with a veil that was fine but prominent to the design. It was romantic in feel, a shade of off-white that felt more authentic than the almost clinical white some brides preferred, and it had an option (if the bride so wished) for color. Most women shied away from that track, but Emma had a notion that Jasmine might be different, and when she sat back down again ready to consult, Emma aimed to find out.

“Now usually, this is the part where Tiana and I ask you for what kind of feel you’re going for, but if you’re really as adverse to all of this as you say it might be better to go off of our instincts.” Emma offered the drawing to Jasmine and watched as awe filled the woman’s eyes. Tiana filled in with some more details.

“There’s a reason Emma’s so in demand right now. She’s got an amazing sense of what works and what doesn’t, but sometimes a dress comes along that’s different than the others. This is one of those dresses.”

“Must have been some date,” Jasmine mused aloud as her hands traced the lines on the page.

“Excuse me?” Emma asked and Jasmine looked up.

“You said the design came after a date.” Had she? Emma hadn’t even noticed, but she did believe it, especially with Tiana grinning beside her.

“Trust me it was. Our little Emma here is well on her way to love if you ask me.” Jasmine looked thrilled at Tiana’s statement and Emma bit back a groan. When had this become a moment to talk about her love life?

“That’s wonderful! And it makes a lot of sense. You’d have to be in love to make a dress like this. It’s perfect. I’ll take it.” Emma and Tiana gaped at her.

“You don’t want to see any others?” Jasmine shook her head.

“No. This is the one. I can feel it.”

Emma smiled brightly at the compliment and she helped to make the arrangements with her staff to get seamstresses on this right away. A month was not long given the intricacies of this dress, but Emma was thrilled by the prospect of it, especially when Jasmine said she would love some color. Jasmine said she favored blue and sometimes a little green, and Emma knew she could work with that. She had a very particular shade of turquoise in mind, and a flower design to embolden it perfectly.

“So… are you?” Jasmine asked when all was said and done and she’d scheduled her appointments with Mary Margaret and Elsa and some fittings with Emma’s staff at a later date.

“Am I what?” Emma asked, genuinely missing Jasmine’s train of thought.

“Are you in love?” Emma felt herself blush and she did her best to ignore the expectant gazes Tiana and of Ruby, Mary Margaret, and Elsa who had joined them in the planning when Jasmine officially signed on.

“I’m in… something,” Emma offered, not willing to give anymore away even if a part of her was adamantly crying out that if she wasn’t in love yet she was dangerously close to getting there.

“It’s love!” Elsa and Mary Margaret concluded at the same time as Ruby sighed dramatically.

“Of course it’s love. Emma’s just going to be as slow as molasses in admitting it, so strap in for a long wait.” Emma narrowed her eyes at Ruby who just shrugged as if daring her to contradict her. Before she could Jasmine placed a hand on Emma’s arm bringing her attention back to her.

“Well I remember ‘something’ and it’s the single most terrifying phase, but it’s also the start of everything. Enjoy it Emma, and thank you for sharing it with me with this dress. Now I know I’ll have the wedding I never thought to dream of.”

Jasmine gave Emma a hug to go along with her thanks, and though it was unexpected, it wasn’t unwelcome. Emma appreciated the show of happiness from Jasmine and the bit of advice that she was very tempted to take. But when she pulled back, Emma found that the eyes of her friends and her staff weren’t on Emma and Jasmine but at the door. From the looks on their faces, Emma was able to guess before she turned who she would find awaiting her.

Sure enough, when she turned Killian was looking back at her, dressed in another impeccable suit and looking hot and commanding in a business kind of way. His eyes were already on her, lighting her up from the inside out, and Emma wondered how she missed his entrance. The room was charged with an energy now that he was here that couldn’t be avoided and it took on an even stronger charge as a smile came to his lips that was equal parts self-assured and hopeful. It left Emma caught in that same riptide of attraction and something a lot stronger than like that came every time he was around.

“What are you waiting for girl? Go and greet the man,” Tiana whispered and Jasmine let out a surprised sound.

“Is he ‘something?’” All of Emma’s friends made slow sounds of affirmation that Emma tried to ignore as she walked to Killian.

“I didn’t think that we were meeting until later,” Emma said, though she was secretly thrilled that he was here. Work was over, and in a matter of minutes she would have gotten to the train, but this was better because they were together again sooner.

“I couldn’t stay away, love. Forgive me.”

He pulled a rose from behind his back and Emma smiled. Every day since their first date he’d found a way to bring her one either while he was interviewing the others or when they were out together. It was charming and thoughtful and something Emma knew most guys wouldn’t do. This was just Killian trying to treat her well, and the feeling of being so cared for was more appealing than even the prettiest flower.

“That depends – where are you taking me tonight?” Killian stepped closer and his eyes dropped to her lips making Emma want to wet them absentmindedly.

“I was thinking dinner at my place.”

“You cook?” She asked, not at all surprised.

“I do a lot of things, Swan. Perhaps I could show you some more of my hidden talents tonight.” 

The innuendo was barely veiled at all and Emma instinctively looked to her friends to see if they’d heard. They all looked fully enthralled, but thankfully his whisper was low enough to not be caught. While she was distracted by them though, Killian also looked their way and greeted them all.

“Ladies.” He nodded and they all waved and said hello, not bothering to hide their appreciation of how he looked, it made Emma just the tiniest bit jealous and she wanted to deter away from them and back to the night that would just be Killian and hers.

“I just have to grab my stuff quickly and then I’m all yours.”

Killian took her hand in his gently, spreading a rush of warmth through her, as his eyes searched her face. When he looked at her like this it made Emma feel beautiful and seen and excited and she couldn’t help but think that Jasmine was right. Sometimes you found someone who made things better, and who made you feel so much more than you once thought possible. Killian was that person for her, the first one she’d ever met and maybe the only one she ever needed.

“I’ve all the time in the world, Emma. Whatever you need to see to, it isn’t a problem. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

His easy manners and willingness to wait were natural for him, and Killian didn’t offer it expecting anything in return, but that was part of what made Emma feel so strongly about him. Killian just genuinely wanted her to be happy, and he didn’t expect her to bend to his plans or make room in her life that she wasn’t ready to bestow. He was patient and yet still inspired this sense of wanting to rush into something bigger, to fall further, and to take that leap of faith. It had only been a few days since their first date, and a week since they spoke to each other but it felt like enough time for Emma to feel assured that this relationship was good, and that it would continue to be so.

This comfort in Killian and who he was allowed Emma to be brave and to do something she’d never really done before. She moved forward, brushing a kiss against his lips right there in front of everyone, and though it wasn’t intense or all-consuming, it was a step in the right direction for her. Letting the world see she was happy and that she was finding it because she’d let a man in was something that once would make Emma physically ill. Now it felt like a good place to move forward and the right thing to do with a man like Killian.

“I’ll be right back,” she offered when she pulled back, smiling at the look on Killian’s face that said he was just as affected as she was before moving around and facing everyone else with an eye roll.

“Enjoy the show?”

“Well yes, but maybe next time you could commit a little more. Give us a reason to tell you to get a room.” Emma smiled despite herself and grabbed all of her belongings before turning back to Ruby and the others and giving them a piece of her mind.

“You all really need to find something to take your mind off of me and my business.”

“Trust me girl we’re trying!” Ruby said and Emma laughed as she came back to Killian and took his hand, heading back outside into the city she loved with a man who kept showing her more and more about it (and him) to admire.

Post-Note: So I realize that this is a little bit of a tease in terms of chapters, but I promise there is more direct CS interaction coming in the next few installments. I’m trying to set up some things for future chapters and that ended up being more time consuming than I thought it would be. I also want to thank you all so much for the kind words you have shared with each addition to the story. They really keep me going and keep me inspired which is awesome. At this point I don’t really have a set schedule for these updates. It could be once a week, twice a week. I’m kind of just writing when inspired. Anyway thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoyed!

[recentanimenews]

The Demon Sword Master of Excalibur Academy, Vol. 1

By Yu Shimizu and Asagi Tosaka. Released in Japan as “Seiken Gakuin no Maken Tsukai” by MF Bunko J. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Roman Lampert.

Sometimes trends can be exhausting. Just try asking a hardcore light novel fan what they think of isekais sometimes and you’ll see what I mean. This is especially true when a trend happens so fast that you get five or six books in a row right at once. Magical academies – particularly ones that also teach swordsmanship and other “knight” classes – have been around for some time, as those of you who have mocked Asterisk War are well aware. And lately the trend has been to populate these schools with a demon lord who is reincarnated in these modern times. Not only is The Demon Sword Master at Excalibur Academy not the first of these, it’s not even the first one licensed by Yen On. Heck, it doesn’t even have a hot anime attached to it like The Misfit of Demon King Academy. What it does have is a very readable text that is written by a light novel veteran, one that doesn’t excite much but doesn’t put many feet wrong either. Read this, it’s competent.

As with most novels of this type, our hero is the one in the background there, behind the cute girl. Leonis Death Magnus is an undead king whose lands are finally being taken down by the heroes. (He’s a former hero himself, so knows how tough they can be.) The Goddess of Rebellion, the one he was doing this all for, is gone. And so he seals his soul and waits for time to pass. Which it does. A thousand years later, he’s freed by two students investigating a ruin. There are a few problems, though. First of all, he’s got the body of a 10-year-old. Secondly, the girl who is trying to protect him, Riselia, is one of the few students at this academy who hasn’t woken to her abilities yet, and ends up getting killed as a result. So Leonis is forced to resurrect her as a vampire queen. Now he’s trying to figure out how much this world has changed, try to start a new life at this magical academy floating on the water, and help Riselia deal with her newfound state.

If you’re like me, nothing in that paragraph made you hyped up to read this. But it’s really not bad. The cast isn’t that large yet, and this book focuses squarely on its hero and heroine. The fight scenes are exciting and not confusing. There is some humor that is actually amusing, not always guaranteed in light novels. Of course, it’s not perfect. The hero really wants to tell us that the girls he meets have large breasts, so he does over and over. Riselia’s “it’s OK, he’s just a kid!” naivete beggars belief, though to be fair that’s the opinion of everyone else as well. The fact that Leonis is trying to figure out who the reincarnation of his lost love Roselia is when there’s a girl named Riselia who is his new minion makes him seem a lot more dumb than I think he’s meant to be. And I could do without the guy and his harem of mind controlled sword girls, even though he’s only there to get humiliated.

But yeah, this is another example of a book that exudes competence, which helps make up for deficiencies in originality and character. You will be mildly entertained when reading it. Which these days is more than we can ask for.

By: Sean Gaffney

[geekalogian]

Hello friends, and welcome to another self-indulgent D&D character playlist!! This has been a rough few months for Sandry Vilamil.  In an effort to find out more about the mysterious race known as the Alzilu (Tieflings in 5e speak), she and her beloved Viktor (who is an Alzilu, the only one of his kind that he has ever known) set sail for the continent of Hexica--a mysterious land to the south where Viktor’s people were said to hail from. Somehow, they are now in charge of overthrowing the entire government? A government that is run by 3 devils (one of whom sired Viktor’s half-siblings with his mother) and 3 efreeti????  THIS IS FINE????????? Narrator voice: It was, in fact, not fine.

This turn of events has been an emotional rollercoaster for Sandry.  As she has fought to help Viktor, save Hexica, keep herself and her friends sane, and return home to her land and her father, there have been. . . losses.  There have been lots of failures.  There have probably been fewer failures than Sandry imagines, but failures nonetheless.  So this chapter in Sandry’s story is about how she faces that failure--and where that will take her next. Song titles, key lyrics, and what those songs mean to Sandry are below the cut!

1. How to Save A Life--The Fray

“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life”

Sandry’s list of companions has changed several times since arriving in Hexica.  She swore to protect Jervais, a wizard who had traveled with her for a long time but was spiraling deeper and deeper into aggression, paranoia, and powerful magic.  He left in the dead of night after an argument, and she fears that he will become something much darker now that he has no one to look after him.  Ferghus remains with herself and Viktor, but his ideological differences with Viktor are frequent and divisive, and make progress slow and difficult. Their first contact in Hexica, a dragonborn named Zaybaq, was arrested and taken to parts unknown.  Now they travel with Kybrin, a half-elven youth with powerful druidic magic and a chip on her shoulder.  Sandry feels that the party division and conflict is her own fault, and each conflict between herself and Kybrin cements this truth further into her mind.  If only she knew how to keep them all safe.

2. Sometimes You Can Forget Who You Are--FM Static

“I’m tired of trying to make it I spent so many nights trying to get it all right I’m sick and tired of waiting For someone to see and start believing in me”

In the midst of party difficulties, Sandry has also felt like a personal failure.  She and Viktor were turned to stone in a chance encounter with a Gorgon, and a month of her life was eaten away as her companions sought the means to restore the two of them.  Her bravado at finding the tragic circumstances of Viktor’s birth and abandonment caused her name to be written on a devil’s contract, marking her for death at the hands of Viktor’s half-brother, Alx.  She sought to get answers about the people that they are tasked with destroying, only to cause the death of an innocent victim of a geas spell by forcing him to tell the truth.  There have been many high points and successes, too, but those failures haunt her.  Worse, they seem to haunt her friends.  They urge her to rest and take a break, as though she were about to break into a thousand pieces.  They don’t believe in her anymore.  She just wants a win--not a qualified win, not a victory with an asterisk attached--a win on her terms.

3. Therapy--Relient K

“This is just therapy, let’s call it what it is With a death grip on this life always transitioning This is just therapy, ‘cause you won’t take my calls And that makes God the only one who’s left here listening to me”

Sandry has had few constants in the hectic journey across Hexica, but one of them has been her goddess, Zentina.  Far from Zentina’s source of power and unable to receive the aid she craves in an uncertain land, Sandry has relied on the Herald of Peace’s infrequent messages for encouragement and renewal of purpose.  In one particularly low moment, she retreated from her party and spent some time meditating in the mountains--only to be reminded that her purpose is to bring peace and hope to people who have none.  Yet her drive to do just this, to finish their quest and return home, seems to fall on deaf ears.  Ferghus often reassures her that they have plenty of time to accomplish everything.  Sandry wants to go home.  These days, the goddess seems to be the only one who hears her cries.

4. Thunderstruck--Owl City

“To tell you the truth, I’m so afraid that I’m out of luck I love how you take my breath away--I’m thunderstruck”

The other constant in Sandry’s life has been Viktor.  In the midst of all else falling apart around her, their relationship has grown and strengthened.  In a quiet moment, amidst the chaos, he revealed that before they left Soshikha, he had asked her father for her hand.  They now wear rings of promise to one another, and Sandry’s resolve to go home is only strengthened by the hope of exchanging vows with Viktor in full view of their entire hometown.  She often doesn’t feel that she deserves someone as kind and clever as Viktor, but she will fight to make their dreams a reality.

5. Move Along--All-American Rejects

“Even when your hope is gone, move along, move along just to make it through When everything is wrong, we move along”

There is no time for hopelessness or sentiment anymore.  There are five more beings from other planes to defeat.  There is a nation to liberate.  There is hope to restore to the parched land of Hexica.  Most days, Sandry swallows her despair and buries herself in frenetic activity, scribbling plans in her journal and trying to come up with ways to defeat the villains in the capitol city, Falcifor, without losing anyone else.  She has to keep going.  She has to.

6. One Girl Revolution--Superchic[k]

“I am a voice yet waiting to be heard I’ll shoot the shot--BANG!--that you hear ‘round the world”

In the end, maybe it was always going to come to this.  It was always going to be Sandry Vilamil, Four feet and seven inches of concentrated fight me, taking on the world.  Maybe her companions will be beside her--maybe they won’t.  She isn’t sure anymore.  What she is sure of is Zentina’s directive, Viktor’s love, and the urgency of their mission.  No more waiting for others to believe in her.  Sandry has to do that herself now.

It’s time to start a revolution.

[maczazind]

FILM DIARY 2017: March - "Another Slow Month"

Spring has sprung and with the changing of the seasons comes a plethora of new films arriving everywhere. A busy month in theaters for sure, it seems to be just the start as we gear up for the blockbuster season ahead. But with a few notable tentpoles of the year arriving in the past four weeks, which did I add to my list? And what did I think of them?

As always, the following reflects MY OWN OPINION. If you’d like to see these entries in full as the year progresses, each installment is given the tag “Film Diary 2017” so feel free to follow along!

Each entry includes how every feature was primarily seen and an asterisk which denotes that viewing was the first time I’ve seen that movie in its entirety, despite possibly having seen pieces of the film previously or having a general knowledge of it. Numbering reflects the year’s overall total, not the monthly total.

March 3rd: 34) Mother’s Day* - DVD (Rental - Library); What turned out to be Garry Marshall’s final directorial effort, Mother’s Day closes out a loose trilogy known for a rotating cast of big stars. And while I find all three simply harmless, this final entry isn’t even the best of THAT group. Scenes that feel they should naturally go one way pivot into a different direction and jump elsewhere or sometimes even linger a bit too long before they cut. While the other holiday entries had some decent connected twists at the end, this one lacks that and you can see everything coming from a mile away. Its heart can be in the right place sometimes and some of the cast does have great chemistry with each other, but I just found it mostly falling flat.

March 4th: 35) Logan* - Theater; In the current state of superhero features, Logan felt like something fantastically different: unflinchingly violent and emotionally raw. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy the MCU or the DC slate of films, but this goodbye to a character embedded into pop culture for the past 17 years was something that felt right in so many ways. For those who grew up with the character, we received a more adult tale that at the same time feels truer to the comic book character with no restrictions in place to appeal to a PG-13 rating. He is every bit the previously tortured soul, even more so now given events that unfold, with an additional desire to avoid any new loyalties or attachments to newcomers, and the western-like tone drives home that personality even more. You feel for every relationship in the film, whether it be one that has developed for years or one with a young mutant he just became responsible for. Every bit of action is hard hitting. The central plot even has ties to Wolverine at his beginning that feels fitting, while also introducing us to a new central character Laura that shines just as brightly as he does – hell she even steals the show at various points. All of this combines into a farewell to Jackman’s portrayal that is as memorable as it is touching.

36) Woman In Gold* - Streaming (Netflix); You could probably lose track of how many “based on a true story” films there are in a year and this 2015 release fell through the cracks for myself. It starts off rather slow as the movie establishes how the story is going to be told, which frequently jumps back and forth between main storylines that start in the 1940s and the late 1990s while also visiting the 1920s as well. But once things settle and the characters start to actually grow close, an emotionally driven plot takes form and brings out fantastic performances from Ryan Reynolds, Helen Mirren and Tatiana Maslany. It never escapes some cliches nor its delayed start, but the backstory of Mirren’s character demands attention as the flashbacks unfold. It is a mixed effort, but one that has some impressive elements difficult to ignore.

March 11th: 37) Kong: Skull Island* - Theater; It’s been 12 years since King Kong’s last cinematic endeavor and the iconic movie creature is back on the big screen. I went in expecting a fun action movie and that’s exactly what I received. It’s not perfect; I do wish some characters were fleshed out better than their archetypes. But there was something about the fantastic visuals from director Jordan Vogt-Roberts, the strong war movie atmosphere battling the action-adventure aspects and the reinvention of the classic Kong story that left me feeling impressed. For a character around for the better part of a century, of course it can’t shake some familiar beats from previous installments. But for everything it tries to do and can do, I left the theater satisfied.

38) Hands of Stone* - Streaming (Netflix); In the decent handful of great boxing movies, this one doesn’t exactly touch the classics. Hands of Stone certainly tells an intriguing tale about a big name in boxing with a solid cast, but there is a number of times the film doesn’t know how it wants to tell the events. Often, we change perspectives from our central character of Roberto Duran to that of trainer Ray Arcel and to a smaller degree Sugar Ray Leonard, which crowds up the man under the magnifying glass. While we start from Ray’s point of view, we then shift to Duran’s while volleying back and forth for nearly two hours. This can leave the movie feeling out of focus from the career it wants to tell, while at the same time never quite shedding the typical story skeleton this genre tends to follow. As a whole, the feature doesn’t tend to hit as hard as it wants to even if it does have its moments.

March 16th: 39) Pete’s Dragon* (2016) - Streaming (Netflix); I was raised as a Disney loving child from an early age and yet the original Pete’s Dragon was never a staple in my household. I’ve always tended to shy away from its weirdness (for which I shall leave Practical Folks’ Drunk Disney to highlight here) but was drawn to the live action/animation blend. However, with Disney knocking it out of the park in regards to remakes lately, I was intrigued by this retelling of the cult classic despite just an okay box office opening stateside. And what transpires is a solid, kid-friendly adventure film that shines brightest when focusing on the friendship of Pete and Elliot. There’s something wonderfully heartfelt between the two throughout that David Lowery captures beautifully, evoking similar tones to that of Hiccup and Toothless’ bond in How To Train Your Dragon. The adults serve well and the fish out of water story is fun, but the true weight of the story is best felt with the aforementioned. While not my favorite entry in the remake era, Lowery does an admirable effort of turning a zany musical comedy into an emotional mix of fantasy, comedy and character-driven drama.

March 23rd: 40) Burnt* - DVD (Rental - Library); A comforting watch for those versed in the world of cooking entertainment. Burnt explores the art of fine dining and the passion behind it, even if it’s not a completely riveting journey along the way. Boasting an all-star cast, don’t completely buy into everyone who is on the box art; Lily James and Alicia Vikander, for example, show up for all of two scenes. Once you get past its eccentricities, there is a central cast of about four or five characters that can really shine - with Bradley Cooper giving it his all as lead. Whether or not you can get into the movie, however, lies on your interest about Cooper’s main pursuit. Perhaps a bit too clean of a story in the end and definitely quite crowded, it was still a valid viewing that simply did not come close to my favorites this month.

March 27th: 41) Independence Day: Resurgence* - Streaming (HBO Go); People tried to warn me, didn’t they? What I didn’t expect was to like the first part of the movie ,though. It sets up an interesting introduction and I was actually into it. But the most ironic thing is that once the aliens attack again is where I found the movie to lose itself. It makes dumb decision after dumb decision, killing off people you were surprised made it out of the first film. The mix of practical and computer effects are gone, drowning you in a sea of special effects and CGI sets that really feel out of place the closer you reach the end credits. Add in some unnecessary subplots and characters, and I finally understand why many were complaining last summer. Sure the first one is a popcorn film, but it manages to find a find balance of its premise, campiness and action. This one simply makes too many bad choices, with a majority of the invasion tactic being “do what we did last time” and scrambling/failing to bounce back when it inevitably doesn’t work. Though it was intriguing to see what became of this world, the end result takes a steep nosedive.

March 31st: 42) Anastasia - Streaming (Netflix); It’s been at least a decade since I’ve seen Anastasia and between the upcoming Broadway adaptation and my friend Lily’s long standing love for the film, on a whim I decided to check it out again. From what I recall, I saw the feature in theaters when I was really young, owned it on VHS, but it never hit home as an all-time favorite of mine. Revisiting it now, it was more of a pleasant surprise as the fairy tale motif really focuses more on our characters than anything. There are the kid-friendly cliches of a comedic relief animal, songs and even some magic but all of it tends to fall to the wayside when comparing to the central stories and relationships. Upon the big reunion the film leads up to, I actually got goosebumps despite knowing it was bound to happen. There’s something fantastic in the deliveries of Meg Ryan, John Cusack, Angela Lansbury and others that boost what could have been a basic tale. The only fault I tend to have is that the villain of Rasputin feels incredibly tacked on, being kept at an arm’s length for the entire plot and creating hurdles that could honestly exist without him. And while the CGI does not hold up nor is the high definition transfer as crisp, the animation has something to admire in the fact that it’s incredibly fluid as there is rarely a moment where the characters’ lines or mannerism are resting. All in all, I’m really happy to have rediscovered Anastasia at an older age as it helped give perspective and appreciation for various elements that I really believe went over my head as a child.

And that was my month of movies for March. April is already starting to look up with a handful of first viewings, with much to share next month. See you then!

What movies did you see in March 2017? Are there any movies you’d highly recommend that I should add to my watchlist? Feel free to drop me an ask or a reply!