#and the anxiety was taking over
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dnd session 0 went great here's a drawing I did of it
#it actually did go great i just drew this while waiting cus everyone was late#and the anxiety was taking over#we just did character building and we went over the scheduling and whatnot#daftpatiences dnd campaign
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader āā an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best āā if you've been wrong the whole time āā that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack āā i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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(I point. Gently, in the voice of somebody whoās mind touched by the outer gods, i whisper truth in your ears:
Your honor the horses are now lesbians
(Anyways hereās the designs)
#mlp#based off my mlp redesigns (no i will not be taking criticism)#mlp redesign#fluttershy is now a giant jacked carnivorous shire horse with anxiety#rarity is a trans queen and sheās carrying the plot on her back#applejackās been bequeethed the oldest child syndrome after the traumatic death of her parents and learned to do taxes at the tender age of#13?? how do horses age#and rainbow dash is both loved and reviled by her pegasi foundry because she has ātoo much gryphon in herā#(but she FAST AS FUC BOI.)#anyways pinkyās my favorite. we donāt know whats up with pinky but she smiles a lot and the world distorts around her at exactly 1014 am.#twilight is celestiaās favored pupil prophet and is trying her best to figure out what the hell is up with pinkie and failing spectacularly#twilight also hatched a dragon from an inert stone and people have opinions about that#mostly āwhat are you feeding herā#(holds rarity and applejack) i think theyāre neat together#they bond over growing up too quickly and have a vi-caitlynn thing goin on#(squints) didnt draw the cute mark crusaders but theyād be like. the batmen of the town. and it was fun and games until twilight heard#and gave them ACTUAL weapons#rarity#applejack#rainbow dash#twilight sparkle#fluttershy#pinkie pie#spike the dragon#I FORGOT SPIKE#spikeās a stone dragon that hatched from a stone egg. he is not meant to exist. heās an elderitch horror and a baby boy and we love#and cherish his adorable little face#art#critdraws#Rest your Weary Hooves in our New Found Home
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Alex & Henry Ā± Henry insulting Alex (affectionately)
#rwrb#rwrbedit#red white and royal blue#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#firstprince#usersteen#userveronika#usermaloune#userlang#usernuria#userninz#chrissiewatts#mine*#every good relationship need This#like if you cant take the piss out of each other then why are you here :D#also i love that henry knows alex loves to be wound up#the idea of henry and pez pining over henry and june is sooooo aljdslk#i wanna see that!!!!!!#the romantic anxiety of it all
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(OC Lore and design time!)
(it got longer again ... sorry ... idk how to make things short, i just need to talk, but i guess if you can read the written stuff in the pic thats the barest bare bones of what i wrote here)
i was asked what new lore story stuff i had thought about that made me sad which i mentioned a bit ago, and while that is too hard to explain given all the missing context i thought i could at least talk about lore having to do with it :D
so, (Lord) Eadrya is one of my fav OCs (big blue lad, here a rough sketch in humanoid form) they are both one of if not THE most powerful demon alive and the most battle trained;
at the mid point of the story the demon world gets invaded by the celestials (the angel inspired things i talked about in the previous lore post with Xaror) and Shargon, as the king, should be their first and only frontline, but at this point his life is only being sustained by maschinery after being mortally wounded, he cannot fight (he realizes what is going on, rips himself off the maschinery to get at least his youngest child to safety, barely managing it before dying- the guardian, the demons god, takes over his body to attempt to fight against the celestials but cant keep itself alive long enough since its host is already dead) Eadrya takes the role of the frontline fighter (despite being very full of themselves and aggressive they care about their 'job' of protecting their own, also giving them the chance to show off just how strong they are); the fight was going well for them all things considered, but when the guardian activates it drains the power of all elemental lords (which Eadrya is one of, and since they have the most strength it also takes the most from them), so much so that they lose the fight and suffer deadly wounds (the worst being a spear through the chest made of a material that grows hard, root-like formations when in contact with demonic blood like a fungus but worse, also stopping any self healing processes) after the guardian falls apart it creates a huge shockwave of energy that stuns every living thing within a certain distance and possibly more-
Eadrya (in true demon form, so like a blue whale in size at least) was likely taken through an active gateway to the human world in a large tidal wave also created by the guardians fall; they wash up in the harbor of a small secluded village, the head of which is 'lady 13'; although never having seen a demon before and everyone being afraid (largely thinking its a strange hurt animal, only she suspected otherwise), they still gather all villagers to pull out the celestial spear, which is diffcult and brutal given that its already taken root, but the village lacked both knowledge and means to help any other way- doing so damaged their heart which is how they were able to collect samples of all three demonic blood types ('normal' -red like humans-, energy -essentially purely magic- and heartblood -highly concentrated energy only found within the heart of a demon and the only one to contain genetic material) (this is the start of Eadryas character arc, having to deal with the fact that their world is likely destroyed, them failing what they didnt think they could fail, having lost a battle so badly (even if not really their fault) for the first time and not knowing if literally anyone else has survived .. also being now stuck in the human world, which they dont like)
Lady 13 (placeholder name? stands for experiment 13) is a human that was tricked by demon hunters to enroll into a series of experiments trying to create hybrids of demons and humans, which they hoped would be powerful and easily controllable tools for their endeavours, though the two are inherently not compatible, they tried grafting body parts of demons on humans to make them compatible- all experiments failed except for her, more or less, though she never got to see the hybrid she carried and was then told it had died too, they threw her out believing she wouldnt survive much longer either and all such experiments were cancelled due to the high cost of human life, research material (demons are still rare) and upkeep with no successful results Lady 13 survived though (perhaps even via the pirates picking her up?) and she ended up living in said small village far away, hiding her half demonic body, though most know there soemthing 'wrong' with her (her being this tall when it doesnt fit the rest for one), only few know the full extent; she enjoys the life she has now, perhaps on the more poor side but safer and more loved than ever before; she largely lead the efforts to try and help Eadrya when they ended up in the harbor, though there wasnt that much anyone could do it was still enough- they leave immediately after waking up, but return after really having nowhere to go and struggling to deal with everything that has happened; over time (probably years) they start to open up towards the people there (though not .. very much) enough to get rather close with Lady 13 too- she actually falls madly in love but after Eadrya (extremely aro/ace) rejects all her attempts quite clearly she respects their boundaries
However, after hearing news of potential demon sightings Eadrya decides to leave in hopes of not being the last demon left after all; Lady 13 then decides to reveal her secret to them (though hearing and seeing what lengths hunters would go to for their experiments makes them absolutely seething with rage- she insists on not being out for revenge) and asks if they would be willing to donate a small amount of heartblood; shes always wanted to be a mother but is now incompatible with humans too- through things she picked up back at the experiments facillity, hers and her doctors research she is sure that is all that is needed, she dares to ask since she does not know when, if ever, she will meet another demon, much less one she could actually trust enough for this though Eadrya hesitates (why would she want to go through the same thing again that didnt work and threatened her life, if it does work, do they want to be involved with any of this? what if hunters find out it worked after all?) but after her ensuring that they would have no part in it other than giving up a little blood and would not be considered a parent in any way, nor made responsible for anything that might happen to her, but considering it all in the end they agree to it
only for her to reveal shes had a small bottle of it already, along with multiple samples of the other types, which she collected when Eadrya was bleeding out into the harbor not knowing if they will survive, though not wanting to make use of it without their consent either way (they are actuallly rather touched by this)
alot later the main group returns here and it turns out to have worked (though she is unable to walk/bedridden for a long while bc it did alot of damage to her body, which can heal since its demons parts, but only really slowly bc she does not have a full functioning system and no demonic blood of her own -she uses the other samples for the healing process-) though its a little awkward to explain, especially considering that 13.1 took alot after Eadrya xD (their theory as to why it worked so "well" that time is that even though the sample was already taken, them giving their consent for it still made it less likely to be rejected; demons dont need partners to have offspring, and all can do it, they just have to decide to- so them agreeing to it, even though its long been outside their body, still had an effect on the blood sample)
#ganondoodles#art#ocs#original art#oc lore#demons#monsters#WHY does writing things liek this take me so long#i spent two hours again on this and im falling asleep as we speak bc its almost 2 am#ANYWAY this was alot again ... sorry#but its a relatively new storyline that i have been afraid of telling#since it touches on things im afraid might come across wrong and uses themes im a lil uncomfy with#but i found it interesting ... and works well with eadrya as a character bc it challenges alot about them#yes im wrote and mean this genuinely#i would have made the cut from her human body to the demon parts more smooth ... but this hard cut is the point#so that she looks rather normal on the upper part and can hide the rest#thoguh im unsure about the color scheme and if maybe i should be more creative with the demons parts#then again its largely just legs lol#if anyone actually reads this ........ i hope it comes across correctly#i like to use darker and more mature themes but am riddled with anxiety over how it will be understood#im gonna work on zelda comic stuff again now .. sorry for all the oc spam#but if there are questions PLEASE feel free to ask im pretty sure i have answers to almosst anything?#also i havent thought of a name for her or the kid .. though im starting to like lady 13#13.1 wont do as a name though poor kid deserves a proper name after already being a weird hybrid that shouldnt exist#either way ... going to bed now GOODNIGHT q-q#(any typos are excused by me being deadly tired ok)
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we've met our super heroes, but what about our super villains? time to meet two leaders from the evil syndicate, our heroes' greatest foe...
adƩlie valois, current heiress to the multimillion dollar tech and research corporation firehawk industries, appears in the public eye quite often. she's got big shoes to fill for a company so renowned...but she really doesn't seem fazed by it. either that, or she doesn't care. but what most don't know is that she's also got big shoes to fill as a supervillain. adƩlie is a sixth-generation psychic of a long line of supervillains, as well as the fifth to hold the family villain mantle, espritvoyant. it's...pretty clear she's only got a leadership position on the syndicate due to nepotism, given her rather nonexistent work ethic, but her powers are still a huge asset on stealth missions. although she usually just uses them to terrorize the heroes for the most part. her inherited powers have also just left her kind of numb to the thoughts and feelings of others. she readily expects how most people think and how they're going to act and gets bored easily because of it. her coworkers get pretty frustrated with her attitude, but it's not like it's her fault she's surrounded by such predictable individuals. revenge this, injustice that. she swears she's had her family motto engraved in the back of her eyelids at this point. (deep down, though, she resents her powers. she wishes for a little spontaneity in her life. she wishes she could get excited over stuff the way other people can. she wishes she wasn't like this). however, the sudden appearance of solarflare and kuiper have caught her eye as of late...especially the latter, who's surprisingly immune to her mind reading. maybe something worthwhile can come out of all of this...
and whenever she isn't just going at it solo, her partner is usually fellow syndicate leader blindside. he's often teamed with her on missions involving stealth, given his power of invisibility as well as his martial arts prowess provide the perfect balance of defense and offense. while esprit's purpose (or apathy) mostly revolves around just following her family's footsteps, blindside's motives are...a bit more murky. both the heroes and the syndicate are a bit confused about it. how did someone with such an otherwise gentle demeanor end up turning to evil? despite appearances, he doesn't seem to pull punches when it comes to heroes. why does he hate them so much? no one can seem to figure it out, given he just...doesn't talk. and while esprit is the only one he ever seems to hold conversation with given the inevitable nature of her mind reading, she hasn't pushed him on it (for which he is grateful). in the public eye, he goes by ichigo kato, an unassuming librarian with a pretty uneventful day job. well, except for that one nosy journalist who keeps coming in and giving him a near heart attack each time with the titles she keeps checking out...oh, and the fact that that one new hero, solarflare, kind of sort of knows his civilian identity now. there's that, too. he's not sure why she hasn't exposed him yet...but not like he's gonna say anything about it.
up next...we're not done with the syndicate just yet! what else does this organization have in store for our heroes...? stay tuned!
(need more context for this au? check out the other character sheets!
joy, sadness & anxiety // disgust & fear )
#kind of uhm. obvious who the remaining guys are by this point BUT THATS OKAY play along with me.#ALSO ENEMIES ANXIENN REAL HEHEHEHE. i've had the idea for their first meeting in my head for like a month now LOLLLL. losers.#alsouhhhh evil embarrassment anyone?? anyone? any [runs away and trips over absolutely nothing and dies]#inside out 2#inside out#inside out au#inside out ennui#inside out embarrassment#anxienn#anxiety x ennui#inside out joy#inside out anxiety#inside out disgust#inside out sadness#inside out fandom#sketchbook#JOYNESS TOO TECHNICALLY but it's sooo small#MIGHT take a lil longer for the last two sheets bc of. Life and stuff but they're comin!!! all in due time hehe#superhero au
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sparring (or something adjacent)
#i was thinking earlier id probably get nervous over posting something like even just holding hands wrong in fear it would be too weird#so im posting this to spite myself#kirbyposting#my art or something#meta knight#king dedede#metadede#quinn does comics#ive been sitting on this for months because it felt weird#take that anxiety *lasers and explosions*
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I believe in not only corrupting eggs to transition to men but to light fires under the asses of men who transition but stop taking it seriously for whatever reason. With enough repeated failure and desires left unsatisfied, even these big shot, loud and angry, rowdy tboys start to have that soft boy fetishized weakness rigomoroll shit catch up with them. They start to familiarize and hide behind their own percieved inferiority, these hot young soldiers with all this potential losing steam and left to reminisce while they're still half-baked, a bunch of poor bastards. Steam powered, roided inertia slows to a vapid convention and stops at a stale, repetitive restriction of depleted self esteem. The raw abrasion of transition wears off and the bullshit we deal with as men wears on us, makes us minimize ourselves, keeps us bound to the same old same old, always for the best.
Doesn't have to be the case. In an age of mediocrity and the demonization of queer masculinity, be that man. If you feel unhappy and discontent and you don't know how, take your transition a little more seriously. You don't just do it once, you come out and take the steroids, heehee hoohoo i'm pinocchio and the blue fairy made me a real boy and you're done forever happily ever after. Masculinity is about constantly challenging yourself, and if you're being challenged as a man constantly it can be a sign of a good thing. You will grow in the face of, in spite of, and because of adversity. Shoot things. Hit things. Fucking stand up for yourself and stop letting people walk all over you. Step outside of your comfort zone. Make yourself dangerous. Make others dangerous. Walk the streets with no fear knowing if somebody gives you shit you've broken yourself in so many times you're equipped to deal with it. Don't slow down and remember who the fuck you are.
#forcemasc#autoandrophilia#forced masculinization#cause i see all these men who just lose confidence and choose to shelter themselves as much as they can. anxiety takes over they surrender#breaks my heart.#if you cant transition and its not safe to do so? microdose on transitioning. be that safe person that people can come to.#stand up and call bullshit out when you see it. don't let anyone push you around.#and honestly the most masculine fucking thing you can do is endure it i mean fucking live through it#work and live to see better days because i believe in u champ and i know u can do it#take it one day at a time. work with what you got.
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Why do you think did Curly let Jimmy go before the crash? I've seen the theory Curly briefly thought about crashing too but didn't expect Jimmy to go through with it
I generally believe it was shock and a bit of denial.
Itās the sort of thing where Curly knew Jimmy enough to know he blows up at things but he never wouldāve expected him to go through with something so crazy. He gives Jimmy way too much benefit. Itās just his nature and the dynamics he has with Jimmy. They have a stable relationship as friends but itās stabilized by the unhealthy toxic aspects that keep him in it. Heās like this with Anya, taking the gun is something he really shouldnāt have kept off the record, so is Swanseaās feigned hostility toward Daisuke. He doesnāt want to get people in trouble and doesnāt want to believe anyone would cause trouble other than to themselves. Heās a very lenient man.
I think the words were hollow in his head. Said but not really meant like all the times Jimmy lashes out and says something cruel to him or others. He never means it, if he did why would he still be Curlyās friend? Curlyās head wasnāt in the right space in that moment, he just got through panicking with Anya and if the sound design is anything to go by, was panicked and preoccupied going to confront Jimmy. I mean, the flash of the warning signs before he runs back are identical to the dissociative episode of sort he has when going to talk to Jimmy to do his Psyc eval.
There is this sort of assumption in fanon that Curly was the idealic person for the job and simply failed. None of them were the idealic people to be there, itās Curlyās entire concern with the ladder he chose. I see more interpretations of him being purposefully ignorant where I see him as just always looking the wrong way or not in a place where he can see it. Thereās something different about seeing something than being told about it in the human mind. It may just be the psych student in me but Curly def has some sort of cognitive dissonance just like Jimmy but when it comes to his role as a Captain vs who he is.
They blur in his head to where if you ask him if he was acting as a Captain or a friend or himself to his crew he couldnāt answer. Not with confidence even if he did. There are many times we see that Curly himself is not in the right headspace to lead the Tulpar and thatās outside of anything with Jimmy. Heās spacey, heās not sleeping, heās deeply unhappy with himself and life. Itās why thereās believability he crashed the ship. Maybe the others saw it, or maybe Jimmy heard enough of it to spin it in a way that made Curly seem suicidally depressed.
So the tdlr is I think it wasnāt so much letting Jimmy go, more so not seeing the severity of what he was allowing to transpire. In his mind itās just another one of Jimmyās bluffs, cruel words, off words but just words. Jimmy rarely ever acts, why would he now? Maybe heās never seen it because Jimmy hides those actions? Either way, he just never thought heād really do it.
#like curly is also not mentally well like if I were to rank worst mental health before the crash#Iād go Jimmy then curly then Anya then Daisuke then Swansea#he clearly dissociates and goes on auto pilot often enough Anya is picking up on it#he never thinks about himself and is very easily talked down to by his crew I mean even Swansea is overly#snippy with him for the professional relationship they have and his closest confidant is fuckin Jimmy#mix this with the fact the last time they likely talked outside of work stuff was the party like I donāt think he was in a good headspace to#be making critical decisions in this situation like itās not an excuse for not taking more action towards Jimmy but itās a factor that is#often left out of the mix. cuz either Jimmy just wasnāt doing copilot stuff or he was in the cock pit being distant and cold and likely#setting off those sort of bells in Curlyās head where he should be placating him like he likely did back on earth but he can cause#jimmyās not over it I mean I can only imagine those three missing days were very awkward and anxiety filled for all the crew members some#more than others but yeah it think itās mostly him just not really absorbing anything until it all hits after Jimmy steers the ship like#heās just a little fucked in the head like again not an excuse but it is another reason on top of pragmatism#ask#anon#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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This is a pretty good point in the wip to share this, methinks :]
Map part for the hole dwelling map, starring... Not my ocs! I wanted to use ocs, but I don't have any-- so I just used the characters from a fic I was reading at the time š
Turns out, the symbolism was so much fun to twist into the 11 seconds I had to work with, I ended up going way more complex than I meant to. If you wanna read the fic this was based on, please do!! And tell the author I said hi! :D
#Hole dwelling map#animation#video#art#Wip#rain world#Artificer#five pebbles#I ofc got the go-ahead from the author on disc. They really enjoyed it yaaay#Fun fact btw- the author is a better artist than I am but doesn't share their art ššš I had to personally request to see it#Mood tho#As for the story: it good. me likey. mucho gusto. Basically its a parallel story#So half the story is the distant past and the other half is the distant future. It starts with them being totally disconnected#But by this point- chapter 14 I think?- it's like OOOOH SHIT IT MAKES SENSE NOW#It's personally one of my fav fics and I'm glad I found it :> fr up there with 'taking life as is'#and the other top fic about pebbles getting anxiety attacks over Talking To People /pos#I wasn't kidding about using these characters purely because I was reading the fic when I signed up for the map. My thought process was:#Hey wouldn't it be funny if I just made an entire map part about this random thing? And I was right. It was#OH before I forget. I forgot I left a ref image of the Creatureā¢ in the first shot- that's the authors art :] I'll animate it later#Sure enough I put this in my drafts for like a week lmfao. There's some missing elements and it's scuffed and it's a WIP LOL
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I need a Tommy and Billy PLATONIC (I'm stressing that) soulmate!au fic where we get to see them acting like siblings.
#comics#marvel comics#agatha all along#tommy shepherd#billy kaplan#platonic soulmates#literally they're connected by their souls who were once brothers#its an untaped market#everyone makes romantic soulmate aus with their respective partners but why not platonic with their canon soul sibling?#fic idea#young avengers#at this point ill take mcu or comic im desperate#like imagine them comforting each other over whatever flavor of soulmate au it is? billy from getting bullied and his anxiety issues and#tommy with his less then steller parents it while hes in juvy? imagine the angst potential?#come on guys look past romantic soulmates and look to platonic soulmates!#tommy maximoff#billy maximoff#soulmate au#mcu#marvel#wiccan#speed
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vent post
#and before anyone who hates my shit says āyeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for onceā#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#āperfectly balanced as all things should beā
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sketches
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#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#javier escuella#john marston#jovier#uhhh its implied i guess#im working on other stuff but ill leave this here in the meantime#sorry for only ever drawing these two im not normal about them#thank my social anxiety for not letting me act crazy on here bc otherwise id be so annoying š#ive been taking it all out on my notes app it looks fucking BAD in there#anyway#john is so hard to draw I hate him and his stupid giant eyes </3#gotta get better at drawing then both tbh#thats why its taking me so long to post#I keep drawing shit and then deleting it#ok weird rant over if anyone reads my tags im sorry#my art
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you would think after all the yapping i do about these losers i would have a plethora of art uploaded ā¦ noā¦ so here is my first kantrio post lol
i did these over the last month while watching the olympic weightlifting and jamming to kpop (stan red velvet and kiss of life BTW!!!)
#pokemon#pkmn#trainer red#rival blue#trainer leaf#i made them classy and smoke from a joint idk maybe i should of done the classic aussie teen experience and make them smoke from a water#bottle bong š¤© red is a massive foodie so ofc he has the multiple options of snacks ready lol my go-to fried food was a capriccosia pizza š#iām always conflicted on the blue smoking hc (just cigarettes yall lol) i often see fanart of professor blue smoking and i see the vision#50/50??? let me ask the audience š£ļø i think iām bias cause i am cursed with thinking men who smoke are extremely attractive lmao#there is 100% lore behind that second piece but i am so burnt out and i donāt think itāll fit in tags lol#also just have a raging fear of sharing anything kantrio related LOL like raging projectile vomiting level anxiety#blue fears repeating the toxic cycles he grew up in but oops heās doing exactly that in the second piece š§#wowzers ā¦ as kieran would say lol ā¦ i love writing and thinking about blue and his emotional growth over those 3 years red was missing#but hey sometimes something hurts so badly it takes you back to that sad and scared child version of yourself right?#strength to me is like: red >>>>>>> leaf >> blueš¤·š»āāļø they technically both canonically beat blue in gamecanon so ā¦ my girl is strong sorry#aināt standing shy timid leaf in this house ā¦#also - despite being acespec myself i didnāt know demi was under the ace umbrella! i think it suits red super well imo :p#pan aswell bc i donāt think he gaf š also shout out to one of my fave pkmn artists kiriato š«¶š»š¤§ i was going through such bad art block and#their work inspired all of these :3 i love their stuff sm espcially their comics š„¹ i drew all of these using their brush sets too!!!#trainer blue#blue pokemon#red pokemon#leaf pokemon#pokemon art#pokemon fanart#pokemon frlg#trainer green#rival green#my art <3#kanto au
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sometimes he has bad days
#will never be over the way anxiety was handled in this film#anyways take some angst and hurt/comfort merry christmas#puss in boots#puss in boots 2#puss in boots the last wish#puss in boots: the last wish#puss in boots spoilers#perrito
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i was gonna do danger meter soulmate au for how dangerous your soulmate is But what if it's for how much danger your soulmate is in
steve's soulmate was in a lot of danger when they were younger but around middle school they're usually safe with the occasional spike
eddie's soulmate has the expected spikes of being in dangerous situations but then it starts lingering in orange for a couple days here, a week there, and then sometime after that kid goes missing the meter just spikes red, and then it continues to go from green to red for a day or so, usually whenever weird shit is already happening, and eddie has so many questions
also why is steve harrington always beaten up after the red spikes
#steddie#my thoughts collection#not my best writing but whatever you get it#the orange is when steve's parents are home#it's not necessarily physical danger anyway it's like stress/anxiety over the possibility of getting hurt/caught/whatever#eddie's spikes after he moves in with wayne is like. the cops taking him in for drugs. or a really mean dog.
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