#and the answer is yes. ofc it was 100% necessary

[sukugo]

while i understand the necessity of the pussy rub (that's satoru's signature move after all), was the hands running through sukuna's hair, clutching at it really necessary. was pulling sukuna close and burying ur face in his neck necessary. was it. was it really. satoru. satoru. look at me. satoru.

[msmk11]

Marauder's Era HC's- How They React When You Ask Them If They'd Still Love You If You Were a Worm

(This is the most unserious thing I've ever written)

James

When you ask him the question, he is SO confused.

I mean, he has no connection to the muggle world, so he's never seen the trend.

James has endless questions for you: "What is the point of this question?" "Why are you a worm?" "Why am I not a worm?"

You have to beg him to stop asking questions and just answer yes or no.

James, of course, is a sweetheart. So even though he's still very confused, his response is lovely: "Well I reckon I'd love you in any universe in any form, so yes I would still love you, even if you were a worm."

Sirius

Sirius is not even fazed by the question.

He INSTANTLY answers yes.

His lack of hesitation makes you all giggly and happy.

But then, he asks you if you'd still love him if he were a worm.

Obviously, you say yes.

Side note: you two would totally have this conversation in bed before going to sleep because that's when you talk about all the weird shit.

Remus

His immediate response is an exasperated, tired sigh because he's so used to your shenanigans.

The first thing he'd say is, "Well am I a worm too?"

Once you tell him no, that he wouldn't be a worm, his answer to you is no because, "he's not attracted to worms?"

You try and explain to him that he'd still know it was you, you'd just be in worm form.

He doesn't budge on his answer and only replies that, "this seems too complicated for a hypothetical, dove."

Peter

I'm sorry, but he instantly laughs in your face after you ask the question because he thinks you're being goofy.

But when he realizes that you're 100% serious, he sobers up real fast.

"Wait, is that a genuine question?

My guy is SWEATING. He doesn't want to say the wrong thing.

He slowly drags out his answer to gauge your reaction and figure out the correct response.

"Nnnnnnnno-" (sees your face fall) "Yes! No yeah, yes, I'd totally still love you if you were a worm."

Lily

She's so happy you asked (if not a little mad that you beat her to it.)

I mean she's muggle born, so she's definitely seen the tik tok trend.

Answers with a giggle and happy, "Yes ofc, lovely."

She'd then go off on a little tangent about all the ways she'd treat you like royalty, even as a worm- she'd get the nicest soil, the best little habitat, etc.

Girl is so precious

Marlene

Marlene doesn't hesitate and instantly responds yes.

But honestly, I think she'd be way more interested to know if you'd still love her if she was a worm.

(There's only one right answer.)

I'm also certain that this question and variants of it would become her obsession for the next month.

Like every day she'd ask you the same question but with a new animal: "Would you still love me if I were a frog?" "A penguin?" "A squirrel?"

Dorcas

Babe is too logical to answer this question.

She's instantly coming up with solutions/alternative answers rather than just saying yes or no.

"I wouldn't need to worry about this, because I'd just turn you back into a human."

Starts listing off all the spells or potions she could use to turn you back into a human.

When you try to protest and tell her that that wouldn't be possible, she'd only take it as a challenge.

Would literally come up with her own spell or potion to prove a point if necessary.

Mary

Her answer is yes

Why? Because she "loves worms and loves you. What's not to love?"

I'm pretty sure this question doesn't linger on her mind very long. But worms do.

Within the week she has a pet worm and a whole habitat for it.

Might even name it after you (which is a ?compliment?)

Regulus

Regulus isn't fazed by the question, but that doesn't mean he will give in to your shenanigans.

Immediately responds no.

Despite your pouty lips and frown, he does not budge.

You say, "So you don't really love me unconditionally?"

"Just be glad you're not a worm."

[toushindai]

Hello again! I have another question if you would entertain it of course. Was Rauru the first voe Ganondorf interacted with in an intimate manner? I feel like this would affect his character in some way or another given that Rauru is also someone that he bears so much hatred for.

This is a question I wish I had asked myself earlier on and maybe incorporated a little more clearly and weightily because like you’re saying it would’ve added a really interesting dimension. Honestly I can only think the answer is yes; maybe I’m not putting enough thought into Younger Ganondorf but I have trouble imagining him having the time for any mere Hylian voe. He hates Rauru but at the same time there is a level of regard for him that I don’t see him offering to anyone other than a scant few of his own people.

I do think he’s been with a few Gerudo vai—it was expected, everyone assumed he would find a queen among his people, and moreover every heterosexual vai within five years of his age in either direction is probably super horny for him considering they don’t get to see boys from age (insert small number here) onward. But there was always something… lacking with them. It was brusque, impersonal, not worth repeating. Something he was expected to be much more into than he was, and that came with a degree of discomfort and detachment.

Whether this is because he really is pinging as 100% gay in my mind or because those relationships weren’t scratching his itch for power play quite right, I still haven’t decided. But this makes Rauru incredibly, compulsively compelling to him. Something he was able to get into mentally instead of just obligatory friction. The hatred doesn’t dampen this at all—if anything it adds further spice, a goal, a ferocity that gets his blood rushing. He hates Rauru but there is so much envy hidden in the depth of that hatred, for having a kind of power Ganondorf doesn’t. Sex becomes a way to subdue and to claim and to own. To establish who really has power here.

When things are going the way Ganondorf prefers, at least. When they’re not, if Rauru is his first voe—his first satisfying sexual experience—how does that interact with the sense of violation he feels? Makes it confusing as hell, doesn’t it. To wind up in situations he doesn’t like, doesn’t want, but which still feel alive in ways his earlier experiences haven’t. Which of course only makes it more necessary that he exert his own control over Rauru.

Anyway if I’d thought all of this through ahead of time I probably would’ve made him a little worse at blow jobs* but on the other hand he does deepthroat his secret stone without gagging it back up so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ canon I think?

* disclaimer that women can have penises ofc but idk if Gerudo vai can & I don’t think any were strapping with Ganondorf in particular

[antique-traveler]

i went to a hockey game yesterday, and ofc the entire time i couldn’t stop thinking ab mattfoggy.

like imagine an au where foggy is a famous hockey player (like celeb level) and matt is his supportive lawyer bf. matt comes to every single game he can and they’re not exactly hiding their relationship, it’s just that it never really comes up in sports interviews. but one day the paparazzi catch a pic of them kissing on a beach somewhere and it BLOWS UP. like everyone is freaking out everywhere about this mystery man.

matt legit lives under a societal rock so he has no idea ab any of this until suddenly he’s at a game and he gets SWARMED bc superfans recognize him.

after the game, foggy gets asked ab who he was with and who inspires him to get through hard games and almost all of his answers are ab matt and he’s just the cheesiest fella ever.

ok i know jack shit about any sports, least of all hockey so i just,, skipped over the actually hockey parts alskfaslfk. also yes i did name foggy's team the ducks just because elden henson was in the mighty ducks, a movie i have not seen (and the other team is the coyotes cause i'm from az lol go team)

hope you like it!

1.1k, T, no warnings

Foggy's used to the sound of Matt puttering around in the kitchen while he watches TV. Tonight is movie night, and Matt insisted that popcorn was absolutely, 100% necessary in order for him to truly enjoy This is Spinal Tap. Foggy's already got the movie loaded up on the screen, and he checks his phone while the smell of popcorn gradually starts to permeate the whole apartment.

It's all normal, for the most part. Family email chain that he won't read, reminders in the team group chat about when to be at the stadium for tomorrow's game, all pretty run-of-the-mill stuff. Against his better judgement, he decides to check Twitter, too.

Foggy's always got tons of Twitter notifications. It's part of being famous, probably, as much as it still feels weird to call himself "famous". But tonight, he's got, like, tons of Twitter notifications. Clicking over to the Trending page, he finally sees it.

Almost the entire screen is taken up by a picture of him and Matt at lunch earlier today. Foggy had gone out of the way to dress discretely, keeping his hair in a low bun and wearing the full hat-sunglasses-baggy clothes ensemble to try and blend in. Apparently, though, that wasn't enough for the paparazzi, as they had apparently seen through his disguise well enough to know that it was him kissing Matt on the patio of that cafe.

Hockey Star Foggy Nelson Caught Kissing Mystery Man, the headline reads. Foggy Nelson, who has tried his hardest to keep his private life private. Foggy Nelson, who's always gone out of his way to avoid paparazzi.

Foggy Nelson, who is still in the closet.

Foggy shoots up on the couch as his heart starts pounding in his chest. Matt, having surely heard his skyrocketing pulse, rushes over from where he was pouring popcorn into a large bowl for them to share. "Fogs, what's wrong?"

"The--" Foggy clears his throat and tries to keep his voice even, "The tabloids saw us today. They saw us kissing."

Matt lowers himself tentatively onto the couch beside Foggy and rests a hand on his shoulder. "I, um, I'm guessing it's pretty out-there by now?"

"Top of the Trending page on Twitter," Foggy quietly confirms.

"Hey, Foggy, baby," Matt says as he takes Foggy's face in both of his hands, "it's okay. We knew this would happen eventually, right? Jenny and the rest of the PR team already had a plan for damage control when we got together, you know that."

Foggy couldn't find a good enough rebuttal for that, but he still needed to panic a little bit. "Matty, you-- they'll know who you are now. They're not gonna leave you alone, they're gonna be coming after you for interviews, and-- and digging into your past, and--"

"Foggy!" Matt shook Foggy's head slightly to shut him up. "I knew that all of that was a possibility when we started going out, and I've made my peace with it. They can do all the digging they like, I don't have anything to hide from them." Foggy raised a skeptical eyebrow and Matt conceded, "Okay, I don't have anything to hide from them that can be found on any sort of public record."

Foggy closed his eyes and took a deep breath, leaning his head into Matt's hands. "I know, I know, just... I hoped we'd get a little longer to just be us."

Matt kissed Foggy's forehead and smiled gently. "I think, all things considered, two years of 'just us' is a pretty good run, right? Besides, now I can finally be the arm candy I was always meant to be."

Foggy scoffed and lifted his head out of Matt's hold. "Oh, you just wanna be my trophy boyfriend, is that it?"

"Damn it, you've seen through my plan," Matt said dryly as he retrieved the popcorn bowl from the kitchen island. He kissed Foggy's hair, plopped down onto the couch beside him, and pointedly tore Foggy's phone out of his hand before placing it out of reach on the coffee table. "No more Twitter and paparazzi, I wanna listen to a fake hair band fight with each other."

The game the next day went as well as it could've. Sure, Foggy got a few odd looks in the locker room from the few teammates he hadn't come out to yet, but he brought everything he had onto the ice and it paid off. Everyone and their mother came to see the Ducks face off against the Coyotes, and Foggy could see Matt cheering him on from his usual rink-side seat.

Foggy scored the winning point with a move that felt like it was ripped straight out of some cheesy Disney Channel movie, and he's sure that the pictures of him making it would be the top of his Wikipedia page for years to come. Maybe it's the adrenaline, maybe some sort of post-outing rush of freedom, but after the game is over, Foggy finds himself immediately skating over to Matt.

Foggy calls out his name so he will have an excuse for knowing where he is. Matt stands up and leans slightly over the railing before Foggy places a gloved hand onto his cheek and pulls him down into a deep kiss. The roaring crowd around them fades into the background, and Foggy allows himself to have one single moment of loving his boyfriend in public before the press close in on them.

Foggy pulls away to see Matt grinning wider than he ever has before, and pats his face one last time before skating away toward the locker room.

Foggy takes his time changing out of all his gear, he knows that Matt is waiting for him just outside the locker room door like he always does. Once he finally can't find any more ways to stall, he steps out of the locker room, greets Matt with a gentle, nervous kiss, and they make their way out of the stadium, hand-in-hand.

They're immediately hit by a wall of sound and flashing lights the moment they open the door, and Foggy squeezes Matt's hand as tight as he can. He takes a deep breath and steps forward, chin held high.

"Foggy, Foggy!" One reporter shouts above the rest of the crowd. "Is this the same man you were seen kissing yesterday?"

Foggy takes one more look at Matt's reassuring smile and squares his shoulders. "Yeah. This is Matt Murdock, he's my boyfriend."

Despite the anxiety about the shitstorm of homophobic tweets he's about to get tagged in, despite the knowledge that he's probably gonna be known as "that one gay hockey player" for the rest of his career, Foggy feels his heart fill up with warmth because he knows, he knows, that Matt will be there. For all of it.

[muscle-red]

How TWST dorms would feel on a sunny day also Being interviewed ☀️⛱️ :

.

.

.

It was a sunny day at NRC atleast at 100° degrees or more and The Males of NRC have decided to give their honest opinion on the heat of today weather :

🌹Heartslabyul🌹

Riddle : I hate it and I Hope that The sun dies-But unfortunately we need it so-

Trey: umm..As said By Riddle I would like to point out that the heat is Not needed and I'm sorta disappointed that I wasn't able to bake anything due to it melting cause of the heat-

Riddle : 💢 Did you really have to cut me off-

Cater : 🙃 Okay Anyway! The heat is like super hot but My phone still working soooo..I don't see a problem here!✨

Riddle : 💢💢 I-

Ace : For real!I mean the Weather is not necessary but atleast no PE..right?

Riddle :

Deuce :

Riddle :

Deuce : So can I-

Riddle : 🏏

Deuce : ....I-I don't like the weather-

*Deuce has been hit*

Riddle : 😇

Trey :

Cater :

Ace :

Deuce : X_X

🦁 Savanaclaw 🦁

Leona :

Ruggie :

Ruggie : *ehem*

Leona : Oh-Right umm meh we kinda got used to the heat so ..we Don't really care much

Ruggie : Yep! But that's not gonna stop us from Working out Ofc!

Jack : Hi...

Leona :

Ruggie :

Jack : I just wanted to be included-

🐙Octavinelle🐙

Azul : The sun is one of the-

Floyd : Hi!,Is this thing on?

Jade : Yes

Floyd : Oh! Alr,So the sun is not our main focus as of right now cause Azul is gonna make us do work anyway but I get to squeeze people 2x as much to the fact more people are coming in cause of the heat!

Azul : As I was rudely interrupted I'll just get straight to the main subject, The Heat is helping us get more customers cause we have good air conditioning and We are the dorm with most water so It's good for businesses so I don't see the problem!

Jade : Yep..And There a 10 % discount if you are interested-

🐍Scarabia 🐍

Kalim : Hiiiii!!!!! I'm Kalim and The Heat is good chance to throw a celebration-

Jamil : Not it's not-

Kalim : Would you like to join us?-

Jamil : There not gonna answer..

Kalim : Aww why not :(

Jamil : It's a recording-

Kalim : ?????

Jamil : ..... (I'm living with an idiot)

Kalim : Whatever! Like Savanaclaw were used to the heat so No problem at all!....Now can we celebrate-

Jamil : No

🍎Pomefiore🍎

Rook : Well Hello there-

Vil : Stop hogging the camera!

Rook : Ehh...Sorry Roi Du Poison..

Vil : Right then! I hate it-Like it's ruining everything from my makeup to my clothes-

Epel : How does it-

Rook : It's better not to question it Mr.Crabapple..

Epel :

Vil : -I mean like c'mon why?It's a beautiful day-I mean not as beautiful as Me-

Epel : So is he gonna-

Rook : yep...

Vil : -But at of all days why today! I had a Free schedule and Had an amazing day planned but noooo-

Epel :

Rook :

Epel : I find this a good opportunity..I'm free!

Rook : Me too!

Epel : What are you doing?

Rook,Holding his life work in his hand behind his back : Nothing

Epel :

Vil : -I mean c'mon!!? Just why-

💻Ignihyde 💻

Ortho : I don't detect any heat but it is melting my circuits-

Idia : It's Hot outside?..I didn't notice..*Goes back to playing games and watching anime*

🐉 Diasomnia 🐉

Malleus : I thought you were gonna forget me-

Lilia : So did we

Malleus : that's not very nice-Anyway We gotten used to every weather no matter how hot or cold..

Lilia : I think this as an opportunity to try more recipes!

Sebek : Lilia-Sama...Sorry To say this but Please don't-

Lilia : How come?

Sebek : Reasons

Malleus : I agree with those reasons

Lilia : :(

Silver : 😴

.

.

.

Your welcome :3

.

THE END!

[diegos-butt]

A trip to the grocery store

Summary: The fridge is empty, so a trip to the supermarket is inevitable. The only problem? Walter isn't in the mood to behave. 👀

Walter Marshall x Melody Williams (Curvy/Plus size OFC)

I didn't mention her name (he calls her doll y'all) so you could see this as a reader insert I guess!

Warnings: Walter being a cheeky bastard. Walter being a little touchy. Cute ass behaviour 🍑 (pun intented, you'll understand later)

Wordcount: 3k

A/N: Wooohooooo!!!! In celebration of reaching 🎉100 followers🎉, I’m posting this fic as a thank you! Thank you all!! 🥺

This is written for my babies from Electricity, but you can read it without having read that. I make a few references to the first chapter, but they’re explained so you’ll get in anyway. 😘

•••

“No, let’s just stay home!” Walter whined. “We can just order take out tonight!” He looked at me from the couch with puppy eyes.

“Walter, take a look at the fridge. That thing is empty, and you eat for like three people,” I said with my hand on my hip, in my other hand I waved with the car keys. It had been a busy week, and we both didn’t had time to run errands. “We need to go to the grocery store, and you know it.”

“I don’t eat that much,” he grumbled.

“Yes, you do. And again, you know it,” I shot back. “Now get that thick ass of the couch.”

Faster than the speed of light he stood up. Standing behind me he grabbed my hips. “Look who’s saying that,” he growled. I laughed and swayed my butt against my boyfriend.

“Not now Walter, first groceries,” I turned around and winked at him. Quickly I walked away and grabbed my phone from the dining table and shoved it in the pocket of my jeans. He sighed loudly behind me, but he gave in. I walked to the hallway and grabbed his shoes, which I threw at him.

“No need to be so violent doll, might get you in trouble,” he warned. He tied his shoelaces and grabbed his wallet from the dining table.

“Might be looking for some trouble detective.” I waited by the door, and after one final warning glance at Walter, he walked towards me. He stepped close, pressed his forehead against mine before he kissed me deeply. His hands wandered over my butt. With a gasp I broke the kiss, and pressed my hands against his chest, creating a little space between us.

“I really can’t convince you to just stay home uh?” he asked and tried to pull me closer again.

I shook my head and grabbed his hand while I opened the door and pulled him outside with me. “Damn right.”

“A woman on a mission, those are the dangerous ones,” he mumbled underneath his breath.

“What was that?” I looked at him while narrowing my eyes.

“Nothing doll,” he grinned. We walked towards the car. It was a soft, spring day, no need for a jacket or coat. Walter was wearing one of his characteristic grey sweaters, and I was wearing a blue deep vee blouse with high rise jeans.

I was about to open the driver’s side when Walter snatched the car keys out of my hands.

“Hey!” I exclaimed.

“I’m driving,” he simply stated. He placed his hand on the small of my back and escorted me to the passenger’s side. He opened the door and gestured me to get in. I huffed but did what he wanted. After he closed my door, and took his seat behind the driver’s wheel, I could see the smug grin on his face.

Soon after we had left the house, Walter parked the car in the parking lot of the grocery store. I opened the door and heard him groan next to me. Quickly, I stepped out and shut the door. He looked at me, his eyes begging me to let him stay in the car. While shaking my head, I walked around the car and opened his door.

“The quicker we do this, we quicker we are home again,” I told him.

“Do we even have a list? Do we even know what we need?” he said as he climbed out of the car. We walked towards the entrance and I grabbed a cart. Well, he walked a few steps behind me.

“Uh, no? We know what we need right?” I turned around and didn’t miss his eyes leaving my butt. He gave me a cheeky grin and came to stand beside me.

“Well, this is going to be fun.” He put an arm around my shoulder and ushered me inside. “Not having a list means I can put everything I want in the cart.” The grin on his face grew even wider.

“Good luck with throwing me in the cart. I’m all you want right?” I couldn’t hide the smile that formed on my face. “Now, come on. We’re just going to walk through all the aisles, alright?”

He sighed beside me, but I ignored it and made my way to the first aisle. While putting a few items we needed in the cart, we discussed what else we needed. I thought he finally came around, and he would stop whining. I was wrong. Oh boy, what was I wrong.

While I pushed the cart through the next aisle, he suddenly left my side and walked further into the aisle. I furrowed my eyebrows, but continued shopping. A few seconds later he came back with his hands behind him.

“Oh no, what did you get?” I asked and tried to give him a stern look.

“Nothing baby, absolutely nothing,” he responded. The look on his face told me something else. I turned around to grab something, and when I turned back, I noticed something that wasn’t in the cart before.

“Walt, what is this?” I said as I picked up the box he had obviously threw in when I couldn’t see it. “You’re going to make a cake? Since when do you bake? You cook, you don’t bake.” I cocked an eyebrow.

“I feel like eating cake. So why not make one!”

“Alright, fine, but no more unnecessary things okay?” I sighed in defeat. “What else do you need to make this?”

“See, that’s the best part. You only have to add water.” He came to stand behind me and put his hands on my hips. Slowly his hands started to wander lower.

“This cake is going to be disgusting, you know that right?” He pressed his body against mine and hummed. I was having a hard time to not give in to his body heat, and just stay there like that for a couple minutes. But I came back to my senses. I turned around and slapped him on his chest.

“Focus baby, we are not even halfway through the store. If you would just cooperate with me here, we could be home way quicker,” I said and pushed the cart away from him. He sighed behind me. Nevertheless, he followed me to the next aisle.

I stood in front of all kinds of soup, debating with myself which one I wanted, when I felt a large hand squeeze my ass.

“Walter!” I sissed.

“What’s wrong baby, it’s just us in this aisle,” he chuckled. I looked around and we were indeed the only two people in the aisle.

“How wonderful.” I rolled my eyes. “But get that hand off my ass sir. We are in public.”

However, he did not remove his hand. Instead, he came to stand in front of me, blocking my view from the cans of soup. His other hand grabbed my ass as well and he smirked at me. Slowly he leant forward and placed a chaste kiss on my left cheek. Then, he placed a kiss on my right cheek. His beard scraping my face.

“What is going on baby?” I chuckled and grabbed his face between my hands. He looked at me with his big blue puppy eyes and gave me a sweet kiss on my soft lips.

“I just want to go home and show you how much I like this big butt of yours.” He squeezed my ass another time and gave me a kiss.

“Well, if you would let me go, we could continue shopping. The quicker we finish shopping, the quicker you can show me that,” I said. I grabbed his hands and pulled them off my butt. “I have told you that before!”

He shook his head and groaned. Laughing, I started to walk away. Quickly, he followed me and slapped my bum before jogging off. Before he was out of the aisle, he looked over his shoulder and shot me a cheeky grin.

I continued colleting the necessary items, without Walter by my side. Where is he and what is he doing? The answer to that became clear when he came into my sight again, with his arms full of groceries. Smiling, he walked towards me and dumped all of it in the cart.

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Since you wanted to hurry up, I went ahead and collected some items myself. You know, to speed this up,” he answered. I looked at the items he picked.

“You think we need a block of cheese that big?” I wondered while I looked at a giant block of cheese.

“I like cheese, you like cheese. We definitely need it,” he stated. “I also grabbed the things we need for dinner tonight and tomorrow, so I’m helping big time you right now.”

“You better be cooking as well,” I mumbled. “Alright, but do we need that much candy?” I held up at least 5 different packs. He simply shrugged his shoulders and freed them from my hands and put them back in the cart. He kissed my cheek and mumbled ‘yes we do’.

“Oh boy. Well, we do need the chocolate,” I said and pointed to the chocolate bars he picked. I wanted to move along when I felt his hand on my bum again.

“Why aren’t you wearing that cute skirt you bought the other day?” he asked and placed his head on my shoulder. I was thanking the gods that there weren’t many people doing groceries at that moment. It was just us, some employees and a few other customers.

“I thought you liked my butt in these jeans,” I pouted.

“Oh, I do, trust me, I do,” he said, and checked out my behind very obviously. “But the skirt has easy access.” The last part he whispered in my ear with a low, deep voice. A shiver went down my spine and I giggled.

“Walter, seriously, behave. I will have to leave your ass behind otherwise.”

“That would be a shame, considering how much you like my ass,” he smirked.

“You know what. You need to go do something. Why don’t you find those cookies Faye likes, we’re out of them,” I suggested. I had to give him something do to, otherwise he would just linger around me, making shopping a little harder. He groaned, but took his hand of my bum and walked away.

My eyes followed him; he did have an amazing ass. I shook my head and focussed on doing groceries again. I was almost done, just one more aisle. I made my way through the last one when Walter appeared again, with three boxes of cookies in his hands.

“Before you tell me we don’t need all of these, we do,” he began. He placed the boxes in the cart and held his hands up in the air.

“Please tell me why,” I sighed.

“First of all, these are Faye her favourite cookies.” He pointed at one of the boxes. “And these are mine.” He pointed at another box. “And these doll, are yours.” He pointed at the last box with a large smile on his face. He was right, those were indeed my favourite cookies.

“I don’t think we need three boxes, but I don’t feel like arguing with you now so it’s fine,” I said and placed my hand on his bicep. I felt the muscle flex a little, and I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Show off.”

“What? You like it that I’m strong right?” He was now obviously flexing his muscles. I laughed and removed my hand. He placed one of his hands on the small of my back instead, and it slowly travelled down.

“Oh, look. We are in the cereal aisle!” I exclaimed, suddenly realizing we stood at the place we first met. I remembered that moment. I was zoned out, when he suddenly reached around me to grab a box of cereal while I was doing the same. We bumped into each other, and when I looked into those blue eyes, I knew I was in trouble.

He smiled at me and placed a kiss on my lips. He tried to deepen the kiss when we heard a cough behind us. An older woman walked past us with a scolding look. We chuckled, and watched her leave the aisle, which was now empty.

I turned to look at the boxes of cereal and realized the one I wanted was placed at the top of the high shelf. There was only one box left, which was placed all the way to the back. I tried to reach it, even stood on my toes, but I couldn’t. I was surprised, normally I could reach anything.

Suddenly, Walter came to stand behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist. With his other arm, he grabbed the box of cereal and threw it in the cart. While he did that, he pressed his body flush against mine. Why and how is he so warm.

He didn’t step back, no, he brushed my hair to the side, creating access to my neck. Gently, he placed kisses up my neck and behind my ear. I had to contain myself to not moan out loud. His hand travelled down to my butt, again, and squeezed it.

“Not right now baby, come on.” Quickly, I turned around and pushed him away a little. He gave me the puppy eyes. “No, don’t make me feel bad! We are almost done! When we get home, you can give me all the kisses you want.” I pressed my lips to his.

“Fine, fine. What else do we need?” Walter ran his hands through his curls and sighed in defeat.

“Uhm, let me think,” I said and pushed the cart out of the aisle. “Oh, we need toilet paper!”

“We’re already out of that?” he wondered.

“Walter, you don’t only eat for three, you also-” I couldn’t finish my sentence because he interrupted me.

“Yeah, yeah. There is something called a little too much information doll.”

“Why don’t you go get that and meet me in the fruit section. Go be useful.” I said and gave him a sweet smile.

“Anything for you doll. And as I recall, I was pretty useful between those thick thighs of yours last night,” he snickered. I gasped and tried to come up with a witty comeback. Before I could he walked away, slapping my ass in the process.

“Hey!” I yelled as he laughingly walked away.

I made my way towards the fruit section and picked up a few apples. I placed them in a little plastic bag, so I wouldn’t drop them. I had learned from my mistakes in the past. Smiling I thought back at the day I met Walter. While we bumped into each other in the cereal aisle, I was carrying a few apples that I dropped.

“Try not to drop those doll,” Walter said as he showed up beside me again. He placed the toilet paper in the cart and wrapped an arm around my waist.

“Dropping them in the first place made you fall for me.” I winked at him and laughed. “Maybe that’s my way of seducing men.”

“Men? Only one man you need to seduce honey and you’re already doing a pretty good job with that,” he whispered in my ear, and placed a sweet kiss behind it.

“Uh, that’s good to know. That means you’re attracted to me even though I live in your sweaters and baggy sweatpants,” I said and leaned back against him. He nuzzled his face in my neck. His beard tickled me, making me chuckle.

“How could I not be attracted to you? Look at you doll,” he growled. His hand wandered lower and squeezed my butt.

“Oh my God, can’t you just wait until we’re home?” I pleaded. “We only need some more fruit, and then we can go home.”

He laughed, slapped my ass, and walked over to grab two melons. “I know two other melons I prefer,” he smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.

I covered my eyes with my hand. “Mine are not nearly that big.” I tried not to smile but failed horribly. He placed the melons in the cart, winked at me, and pushed the cart towards the cash registers.

While we paid for the groceries, Walter couldn’t stop touching me, he kept smacking my bum. Finally, we reached the car and loaded the groceries in the trunk.

“I’m going to take a nap when we’re home. You are being very exhausting today,” I said as Walter closed the trunk.

“In that case, I’m going to take that nap with you. You are being very exhausting yourself as well. Dragging me all the way here to do groceries while we could have ordered take out. You’re evil,” he teased. He fished the car keys out of the pocket of his jeans and stepped closer to me to press a kiss to my cheek. I saw my opportunity and grabbed the keys from his hand. Quickly, I opened the door on the driver’s side, and crawled behind the wheel.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” he yelled. Before I could close the door, he stood next to me. One hand on top of the roof, and one hand on top of the door. He looked at me with a cocked eyebrow. “I’m driving.”

“No, you are not driving. In fact, I’m driving. We both know I’m the better driver between us,” I teased and smiled at him.

“Yeah right,” he muttered, but he closed the car door and walked around it to take place on the passengers’ seat.

“I know you like it when I drive, so don’t pretend you don’t like this baby,” I said as I drove off. I looked to my right, and saw he was fighting the smile that formed on his face.

“If we are really going to take a nap, can I use your butt as my pillow?” he asked with a mischievous grin. He placed his hand on my thigh, and I interlaced my fingers with his.

“Fine, but I’ll get to be the little spoon tonight.”

•••

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[cafeinthemoon]

The Founders’ hairs and how take care of them 💕

(I’ve said I was going to be more active during weekend but here I am showing up only now shame on me)

So this blog has now +200 followers! Yay! To the ones who follow me since the start: thank you for being here with me!! And to the ones who just arrived: welcome to my blog! It’s good to have you here!!

So, to celebrate this conquer I decided to post this list of headcanons about the Founders’ hairs and how to take care of them lol This idea has been in the back of my mind for a long time but I didn't have the time nor the courage to write it. I feel like we don't talk about this as much as we should, so here it is 💜

Fandom: Naruto | Founders

Symbols: 💗 | ◻ | ▶

Hashirama 🌳

God just look at this hair 💜💜💜

You can’t just say you wouldn’t like to take care of it

And you’re lucky, bc Hashi would love to have someone to do this task for him, so if you’d volunteer the answer would be YES

Now, assuming that you’re his s/o: it’s not that he's unable to take care of his own hair, but he appreciates this gesture of yours

When you two have some time to chill at home, he likes to sit in front of you while you are on a chair or something so you can brush his hair

Hashirama has long, thin hair, so that it gets easily oily and dirty. It can be more difficult during summer or when he needs to leave the village to travel through arid places (and ofc after battles), because he can’t carry all the necesssary products with him (and he would never get the time he needs to use them anyway) 😢

 Because his hair is thin, it needs to be washed often, or it will get too sweaty and dirty and no one wants that. As I said before, arid environments are a problem, bc the dust can cling to the strands and it all can get messy

Lucky him that you are at home when he comes back ❤

Start washing his scalp. Maybe you’d need to do this two or three times, depending on the state of things. Do not scrub it or it will get sore (plus it will increase the hair loss)

Be careful while washing the length and the ends: thin hair can easily break when we apply too much strength against it

You can use a towel to remove the excess of water, but it’s better to let it dry naturally. It will not get too long, specially on hot days

His hair is straight, so there’s no need to use heat to style it. Just combing it is enough

If you want to use some product to protect it from heat, dust and to keep it hydrated, that’s great! But be careful: do not use much product or the oiliness will get worse. And of course, never apply cream, oils or anything in the roots 😉

About the cut: Hashirama has nothing against short hair, but the vision of scissors getting too close to his hair is terrifying to him. So if he ever lets you hold a scissor near him, he will only let you trim the ends (and he will definitely hold a mirror to see what you’re doing)

Tobirama 🌊

You wanna try and take care of his hair? Good luck bro lmao

I personally think that he never does anything with his hair besides washing it and passing his fingers through it before putting his happuri

And the reason for that is simple: Tobirama has thick, bristly hair and he doesn’t know what to do about it

Plus he doesn’t have much time to think of what to do

So when you suggested that you could take care of his hair, his first reaction was 😵 but then he thought about it and ended up saying yes

And ofc you were more than happy lol

First place: his hair is thick. Not textured, but thick. So you have to be patient

Sometimes it will be necessary to wash it twice to see the shampoo making some bubbles. But once you achieve it, just focus on doing a scalp massage

Tobi will love it. You know, he’s very stressed bean, so a massage will be welcome 💜

But be careful to not scrub his scalp not matter how much he begs you to do it

About fragrances, creams, etc.: he’s not against something that smells good and can make his hair softer, but do not exaggerate. He will not appreciate strong fragrances

Because his hair is thick, it will not get dry so quickly. Here you have two options: using heat or asking him to use his control over water to make it evaporate

The same principles of patience and gentleness apply to the brushing session: start with the ends and then go for the length. Never, NEVER start with the roots

Here’s an observation: in the first day, Tobirama’s hair will be more bristly than normal because the washing process removes part of the natural oils. But don’t worry, because everything will be back to normal in the day after

Madara 🔥

So, Madara’s hair. MADARA’S HAIR. Omg.

Taking care of his hair is something that happened just like anything else in your relationship: it started as an innocent favor, but now it turned into a serious ritual

You always knew that Madara loves his hair. It’s literally an extension of him. It represents much of the person he is, so he is very proud of it. It is the closest thing from vanity you can find in him

One day, still in your first year together, he came home and you noticed he had some small leaves and tugs clinging on his hair

It was a bit funny that given the amount of hair Madara has, it was something you should expect to see often, but you never thought of it until then 😅

Somehow you sensed that pointing out the current state of his hair would hurt his pride, so you acted careful: you approached him, hugging him from behind, and started stroking his front strands. You pretended you just found a leaf there and offered to take it and all the rest out. At first, Madara found it weird bc he always did it by himself, but he accepted it anyway. It was how it all started

It's like a domestic task that you take it more seriously than the others

You start taking the twigs, leaves and grass out, which takes quite some time. Bc of the knots, you can’t do it fast otherwise everything would become a torture session for you bb

After taking them out, you separate his hair in smaller sections to unravel some of the easier knots. You have to start from the ends to prevent the break of the strands. Only then you can actually wash it

Bc Madara doesn't like the deep fragrances they put in traditional hair products, you had to develop a homemade formula with some herbs you had in your backyard. You were afraid that you’d never be able to make enough product for the lots of hair on that Uchiha head, but fortunately you have a wide garden 🌿

It's probably the calmest moment of his day, when he just stands there sitting in front of you while your delicate hands do the work

Madara has thick, textured hair. And yeah, bc of its thickness, it is heavy (only someone as strong as him would be able to maintain it).You need to be careful on how you handle it even when it's wet

Btw it takes too long for it to get dry naturally, so some heat is allowed

I said some heat not a Katon technique for God sake

It’s better not having it 100% dry to brush it, so when it’s half wet you can separate it in thick sections and comb the edges of each of them slowly and patiently. Then you can divide it in smaller sections to brush their length

Bc it’s thick and long, it doesn’t get a lot for his hair to go back to its normal aspect once it’s washed and clean, so this is basically everything you need to do to take care of it. It might seem easy but this is just a summary: the truth is that you must be prepared to spend hours on this task

(But I don’t think you’d complain right)

[morwensteelsheen]

I’m starting grad school this autumn and honestly I’m getting nervous. Like yes I am v excited about the whole prospect overall and I do miss being a student but am intimidated by 3 hr long seminars and thesis writing and massive amounts of reading… everyone keeps saying it’s gonna be very different from undergrad so okay, but how specifically? Is it the large amounts of reading? I already had insane amounts of reading (humanities degree hurrah) especially in my last two years but could you expound on your own experience and how you take notes/read quickly/summarize or just how to deal with first time grad students?

Oh, yeah for sure! A necessary disclaimer here is that I'm at a certain poncy English institution that is noted for being very bad at communicating with its students and very bad at treating its postgrad students like human beings, so a lot of these strategies I've picked up will be overkill for anyone who has the good sense to go somewhere not profoundly evil lol.

So I'll just preface this by saying that I am a very poor student in terms of doing what you're supposed to. I'm very bad at taking notes, I never learned how to do it properly, and I really, really struggle with reading dense literature. That said, I'm probably (hopefully?) going to get through this dumb degree just fine. Also — my programme is a research MPhil, not taught, so it's a teensy bit more airy-fairy in terms of structure. I had two classes in Michaelmas term, both were once a week for two hours each; two in Lent, one was two hours weekly, the other two hours biweekly; and no classes at all in Easter. I also have no exam component, I was/am assessed entirely on three essays (accounting for 30% of my overall mark) and my dissertation (the remaining 70%), which is, I think, a little different to how some other programmes are. I think even some of the other MPhils here are more strenuous than that, like Econ and Soc Hist is like 100% dissertation? Anyways, not super important, but knowing what you're getting marked on is important. I dedicated considerably less time than I did in undergrad to perfecting my coursework essays because they just don't hold as much weight now. The difference between a 68 and a 70 just wasn't worth the fuss for me, which helped keep me sane-ish.

The best advice anyone ever gave me was that, whereas an undergrad degree can kind of take over your life without it becoming a problem, you need to treat grad school like a job. That's not because it's more 'serious' or whatever, but because if you don't set a really strict schedule and keep to it, you'll burn yourself out and generally make your life miserable. Before I went back on my ADD meds at the end of Michaelmas term, I sat myself down at my desk and worked from 11sh to 1800ish every day. Now that I'm medicated, I do like 9:30-10ish to 1800-1900 (except for now that I'm crunching on my diss, where, because of my piss-poor time management skills I'm stuck doing, like, 9:30-22:30-23:00). If you do M-F 9-5, you'll be getting through an enormous amount of work and leaving yourself loads of time to still be a human being on the edges. That'll be the difference between becoming a postgrad zombie and a person who did postgrad. I am a postgrad zombie. You do not want to be like me.

The 'work' element of your days can really vary. It's not like I was actually consistently reading for all that time — my brain would have literally melted right out of my ears — but it was about setting the routine and the expectation of dedicating a certain, consistent and routinized period of time for focusing on the degree work every day. My attention span, even when I'm medicated, is garbage, so I would usually read for two or three hours, then either work on the more practical elements of essay planning, answer emails, or plot out the early stages of my research.

In the first term/semester/whatever, lots of people who are planning on going right into a PhD take the time to set up their applications and proposals. I fully intended on doing a PhD right after the MPhil, but the funding as an international student trying to deal with the pandemic proved super problematic, and I realised that the toll it was taking on my mental health was just so not worth it, so I've chosen to postpone a few years. You'll feel a big ol' amount of pressure to go into a PhD during your first time. Unless you're super committed to doing it, just try and tune it out as much as you can. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking a year (or two, or three, or ten) out, especially given the insane conditions we're all operating under right now.

I'll be honest with you, I was a phenomenally lazy undergrad. It was only by the grace of god and being a hard-headed Marxist that I managed to pull out a first at the eleventh hour. So the difference between UG and PG has been quite stark for me. I've actually had to do the reading this year, not just because they're more specialised and relevant to my research or whatever, but because, unlike in UG, the people in the programme are here because they're genuinely interested (and not because it's an economic necessity) and they don't want to waste their time listening to people who haven't done the reading.

I am also a really bad reader. Maybe it's partially the ADD + dyslexia, but mostly it's because I just haven't practiced it and never put in the requisite effort to learn how to do it properly. My two big pointers here are learning how to skim, and learning how to prioritise your reading.

This OpenU primer on skimming is a bit condescending in its simplicity, but it gets the point across well. You're going to want to skim oh, say, 90% of the reading you're assigned. This is not me encouraging you to be lazy, it's me being honest. Not every word of every published article or book is worth reading. The vast majority of them aren't. That doesn't mean the things that those texts are arguing for aren't worth reading, it just means that every stupid rhetorical flourish included by bored academics hoping for job security and/or funding and/or awards isn't worth your precious and scarce time. Make sure you get the main thrust of each text, make sure you pull out and note down one or two case studies and move right the hell on. There will be some authors whose writing will be excellent, and who you will want to read all of. Everything else gets skimmed.

Prioritisation is the other big thing. You're going to have shitty weeks, you're probably going to have lots of them. First off, you're going to need to forgive yourself for those now — everybody has them, yes, even the people who graduated with distinctions and go on to get lovely £100,000 AHRC scholarships. Acknowledge that there will be horrible weeks, accept it now, and then strategise for how to get ahead of them. My personal strategy is to plan out what I'm trying to get out of each course I take, and then focus only on the readings that relate to that topic.

I took a course in Lent term that dealt with race and empire in Britain between 1607 and 1900; I'm a researcher of the Scottish far left from 1968-present, so the overlap wasn't significant. But I decided from the very first day of the course that I was there to get a better grasp about the racial theories of capitalism and the role of racial othering in Britain's subjugation of Ireland. Those things are helpful to me because white supremacist capitalism comes up hourly in my work on the far left, and because the relationship of the Scottish far left to Ireland is extremely important to its self definition. On weeks when I couldn't handle anything else, I just read the texts related to that. And it was fine, I did fine, I got my stupid 2:1 on the final essay, and I came out of it not too burnt out to work on my dissertation.

Here is where I encourage you to learn from my mistakes: get yourself a decent group of people who you can have in depth conversations about the material with. I was an asshole who decided I didn't need to do that with any posh C*mbr*dge twats, and I have now condemned myself to babbling incomprehensible nonsense at my partner because I don't have anyone on my course to work through my ideas with. These degrees are best experienced when they're experienced socially. In recent years (accelerated by the pandemic, ofc), universities have de-emphasised the social component of postgrad work, largely to do with stupid, long-winded stuff related to postgrad union organising etc. It's a real shame because postgrads end up feeling quite socially isolated, and because they're not having these fun and challenging conversations, their work actually suffers in the long term. This is, and I cannot stress this enough, the biggest departure from undergrad. Even the 'weak links' or whatever judgemental nonsense are there because they want to be. That is going to be your biggest asset. Talk, talk, talk. Listen, listen, listen. Offer to proofread people's papers so you get a sense of how people are thinking about things, what sort of style they're writing in, what sources they're referring to. Be a sponge and a copycat (but don't get done for plagiarism, copy like this.) Also: ask questions that seem dumb. For each of your classes, ask your tutors/lecturers who they think the most important names in their discipline are. It sounds silly, but it's really helpful to know the intellectual landscape you're dealing with, and it means you know whose work you can go running to if you get lost or tangled up during essay or dissertation writing!

You should also be really honest about everything — another piece of advice that I didn't follow and am now suffering for. The people on your courses and in your cohort are there for the same reasons as you, have more or less the same qualifications as you, and are probably going to have a lot of the same questions and insecurities as you. If you hear an unfamiliar term being used in a seminar, just speak up and ask about it, because there're going to be loads of other people wondering too. But you should also cultivate quite a transparent relationship with your supervisor. I was really cagey and guarded with mine because my hella imposter syndrome told me she was gonna throw my ass out of the programme if I admitted to my problems. Turns out no, she wouldn't, and that actually she's been a super good advocate for me. If you feel your motivation slipping or if you feel like you're facing challenges you could do with a little extra support on, go right to your supervisor. Not only is that what they're there to do, they've also done this exact experience before and are going to be way more sympathetic and aware of the realities of it than, say, the uni counselling service or whatever.

Yeah so I gotta circle back to the notes thing... I really do not take notes. It's my worst habit. Here's an example of the notes I took for my most recent meeting with my supervisor (revising a chapter draft).

No sane person would ever look at these and think this is a system worth replicating lol. But the reason they work for me is because I also record (with permission) absolutely everything. My mobile is like 90% audio recordings of meetings and seminars lol. So these notes aren't 'good' notes, but they're effective for recalling major points in the audio recording so I can listen to what was said when I need to.

Sorry none of this is remotely organised because it's like 2330 here and my brain is so soft and mushy. I'm literally just writing things as I remember them.

Right, so: theory is a big thing. Lots of people cheap out on this and it's to their own detriment. You say you're doing humanities, and tbh, most of the theory involved on the humanities side of the bridge is interdisciplinary anyways, so I'm just gonna give you some recommendations. The big thing is to read these things and try to apply them to what you're writing about. This sounds so fucking condescending but getting, like, one or two good theoretical frameworks in your papers will actually put you leaps and bounds beyond the students around you and really improve your research when the time comes. Also: don't read any of these recommendations without first watching, like an intro youtube video or listening to a podcast. The purists will tell you that's the wrong way to do it, but I am a lazy person and lazy people always find the efficient ways to do things, so I will tell the purists to go right to hell.

Check out these impenetrable motherfuckers (just one or two will take your work from great to excellent, so don't feel obliged to dig into them all):

Karl Marx and Fredrich Engels (I'm not just pushing my politics, but also, I totally am) — don't fucking read Capital unless you're committed to it. Oh my god don't put yourself through that unless you really have to. Try, like, the 18th Brumaire of Louis Napoleon for the fun quotes, and Engels on the family.

Frantz Fanon — Wretched of the Earth. Black Skin White Masks also good, slightly more impossible to read

Benedict Anderson — Imagined Communities. It's about nationalism, but you will be surprised at how applicable it is to... so many other topics

Judith Butler — she really sucks to read. I love her. But she sucks to read. If you do manage to read her though, your profs will love you because like 90% of the people who say they've read her are lying

Bourdieu — Distinction is good for a lot of things, but especially for introducing the idea of social and cultural capital. There's basically no humanities sub-discipline that can't run for miles on that alone.

Crenshaw — the genesis of intersectionality. But, like, actually read her, not the ingrates who came after her and defanged intersectionality into, like, rainbow bombs dropped over Gaza.

The other thing is that you should read for fun. My programme director was absolutely insistent that we all continue to read for pleasure while we did this degree, not just because it's good for destressing, but because keeping your cultural horizons open actually makes your writing better and more interesting. I literally read LOTR for the first time in, like February, and the difference in my writing and thinking from before and after is tangible, because not only did it give me something fun to think about when I was getting stressy, but it also opened up lots of fun avenues for thought that weren't there before. I read LOTR and wanted to find out more about English Catholics in WWI, and lo and behold something I read about it totally changed how I did my dissertation work. Or, like, a girl on my course who read the Odyssey over Christmas Break and then started asking loads of questions about the role of narrative creation in the archival material she was using. It was seriously such a good edict from our director.

Also, oh my god, if you do nothing else, please take this bit seriously: forgive yourself for the bad days. The pressure in postgrad is fucking unreal. Nobody, nobody is operating at 100% 100% of the time. If you aim for 60% for 80% of the time and only actually achieve 40% for 60% of the time, you will still be doing really fucking well. Don't beat yourself up unnecessarily. Don't make yourself feel bad because you're not churning out publishable material every single day. Some days you just need to lie on the couch, order takeout, and watch 12 hours of Jeopardy or whatever, and I promise you that that is a good and worthwhile thing to do. You don't learn and grow without rest, so forgive yourself for the moments and days of unplanned rest, and forgive yourself for when you don't score as highly as you want to, and forgive yourself when you say stupid things in class or don't do all of (or any of) the class reading.

Uhhhh I think I'm starting to lose the plot a bit now. Honestly, just ping me whatever questions you have and I'm happy to answer them. There's a chance I'll be slower to respond over the next few days because my dissertation is due in a week (holy fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but I will definitely respond. And honestly, no question is too dumb lol. I wish I'd been able to ask someone about things like what citation management software is best or how to set up a desk for maximum efficiency or whatever, but I was a scaredy-cat about it and didn't. So yeah, ask away and I will totally answer.

[justasparkwritings]

Codename Cupid: Chapter 8

Previous: Another Shot At Love Pt. 2

Pairing: Min Yoongi X OFC, Park Jimin X OMC

Genre: Secret AgentAU, AgentAU, Government Agent AU, Slice of Life

Rating: NC17

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Swearing, Legal Alcohol Consumption, Degradation, Humiliation, Verbal Abuse, Horrible Family, Bullying, Sibling Rivalries, Homophobia, Toxic Masculinity

Summary: Codename Suga joins Codename Cupid at her parents house for family dinner. It’s both everything he imagined, and so much worse. 

Codename Another Shot at Love Part 3

Fall Post Graduation

           Park Yoongi, Codename Suga, arrived at the Lee residence dressed to the nines, a new suit, top of the line glasses and Ferragamo loafers that Hoseok had picked out especially for him. Nothing about his look screamed mid-level employee at a top-level bank, or government agent bent on destroying a company from within, which was the point. Namjoon had determined that to impress the Lee’s, Codename Valentine, Suga had to be runway ready. His hair was slicked back, and in his arms, a bottle of Makers 46, a bottle Cupid had ensured her father would appreciate. In his ear, a flesh-colored earpiece, specially designed, allowing his teammates, Codenames RM, Worldwide Handsome and J-Hope, to feed him lines when needed.

          Adjusting his spectacles and turning them on, Suga’s vision was momentarily blocked as the sensors began their job scanning everything and everyone insight, transmitting data in real time to his set up at OT7 headquarters. The glasses, a creation he had spent the better part of a year working on, were a modification of his third-generation specs. Not only could they recognize faces, scan for heat sensors, but log sounds such as alarm codes and lock patterns, decoding their passcodes in seconds. This was a marked improvement from the generation twos, which recorded sound and took up to 24 hours to decode. The recorded surveillance was wired through the major databases used by OT7 to track down faces of everyone Suga came in contact with. Tonight, their goal was to memorize every aspect of the Lee’s estate, transmit the layout into a CAD (computer aided design) drawing and print a scaled blueprint. They were also responsible for identifying every human in the Lee’s house, pulling names, birthdays, permanent addresses and social security numbers. In his glasses case, Suga had placed several microscopic microphones, which he placed on any surface he touched. They might not have eyes inside the mansion, but OT7 would have ears.

          “Park Yoongi,” The attendant declared as he stepped through the foyer and into the sitting room, where the entire Lee, Codename Valentine, family sat waiting for him.

          “Good evening,” Yoongi bowed deeply, a remnant of his heritage and a sign of respect.

          “Yoongi!” Euna said, standing and quickly wrapping her arms around his neck. Leaning in, she placed a delicate kiss on his cheek. “Mom, dad, this is Yoongi, my boyfriend.”

          Mr. Lee rose, looked Yoongi up and down before he spoke, “I hear you work for us. Good.”

          “Yes, sir, I do,” Yoongi nodded.

          “Your work is good, you fly under the radar, if you’re to continue this with Euna, you will need to do better,” Mr. Lee extended his hand, shaking Yoongi’s, before moving past him.

          “Sir, I brought you a gift, I heard it’s one of your favorites,” Yoongi handed the man the bottle and watched as he unwrapped it. His oafish hands tore through the tissue paper, impatient to get his hands on something he didn’t buy but eagerly wanted.

          “Ahh, a bribe, thoughtful,” Mr. Lee said before handing the bottle to the head of house, who had quietly walked into the room. She took it and carefully moved to place it on the shelf which housed an impressive collection of whiskey.

          Mrs. Lee looked at her cohort of older children. “Don’t be rude.”

          The three children rose and walked towards Yoongi. Towering over him, Dae-Seong and Jun-Seo glared down at him, a sinister smirk on both their faces.

          “Dae-Seong,” He said, squeezing Yoongi’s hand harder than necessary.

          “Jun-Seo,” He repeated the action, his hold lighter, his smirk faded into a thin line, laced with more concern than Yoongi imagined Dae-Seong could ever muster.

          “Yoongi,” Kwan-Min bowed before extending her hand, “Kwan-Min.” Her smile mirrored Euna’s, gentle and vibrant. Her eyes told the same story as her brothers, watch your back.

          “Nice to meet you,” Yoongi responded. Carefully taking a seat next to Euna, he smiled tersely at the family.

          “Yoongi, tell us about yourself,” Mrs. Lee requested. She slowly clinked the perfectly shaped sphere of ice in her glass, it slowly melting into the brown liquid.

          “Is there anything specific you want to know?” He responds politely.

          “Your file is thin, you don’t seem to want to advance at Lee Enterprises, so how’d you end up here?” Dae-Seong doesn’t mince words. Much like the booming timbre of his voice, his words cut straight to the point.

          “I worked in the Manhattan branch every summer of college, had two internships my junior and senior year, and then applied for an entry level position,” Yoongi could hear Namjoon, Codename RM, in his ear, repeating the fabricated story made ever more real by Hoseok’s ability to forge documents.

          “They moved you out here?” Mr. Lee questioned.

          “Yes, they asked if I would transfer,” Yoongi replied.

          “Why?” Dae-Seong was perplexed, no new hire was asked to transfer unless they were a problem worth handling.

          “They said I was polished, and my work was good,” Yoongi shrugged. WWH reminded him to lean into the nonchalance, the ultimate fuck-you attitude the Lee’s hated.

          “Seems vague,” Jun-Seo remarked. “Your childhood was rather bleak, wasn’t it?”

          “It wasn’t the best, but it was temporary,” Yoongi knew this was the line of questioning they’d take, and not just with him, with anyone not from the upper echelon, anyone not worth less than 100 million.

          “Your parents were, sorry, are, quite poor,” Dae-Seong pressed.

          “Poor to some is rich to others,” Yoongi answered.

          “But poor is still, poor,” Jun-Seo responded.

          “You haven’t dated much, either have you Yoongi?” Kwan-Min’s voice was velvet, soft and supple in the tense air.

          “I’ve had a few relationships, but none like Euna,” Mr. World Wide’s voice was clear and gentle, sell it Suga.

          “What makes her so different? Clearly you see things that we don’t,” Dae-Seong snorted back a laugh, it was a hideous sound, loud and haunting.

          “I see a lot of things in Euna. She’s thoughtful, considerate, she’s caring and funny. She accepts me for who I am, and makes me a better person,” Yoongi laid on the compliments like he hadn’t spent the last two weeks rehearsing them for OT7.

          It had taken him a while to list the characteristics he liked about Cupid, and ultimately had recruited WWH to write it for him. He stared at the words Mr. Handsome wrote, and was shocked that he still cared this much about her. Yoongi felt none of these things, none of these adjectives or memories that Mr. Handsome had strewn together resonated with him in the slightest. Cupid was a mark, a pawn in the play, nothing more.

          “Huh, lucky someone does,” Jun-Seo laughed, ribbing Dae-Seong and leading him in a cackle all their own. Yoongi glanced at Euna to see her jaw set, cheeks flushed, eyes glossed.

          “Jun-Seo, you have a guest,” The attendant from the front door announced, standing taught at the door. A blond-haired man entered, smirking with a hint of humor. Yoongi stared at his dazzling smile and kind eyes.  

          “You made it!” Jun-Seo stood to engulf the man in a hug, lips pressing aggressively to his lips. “I thought you said you were busy.”

          “I got away,” The blond responded.

          “It’s lovely to see you,” Mrs. Lee stood to embrace the man, followed by Kwan-Min. Yoongi watched carefully as Dae-Seong and Mr. Lee scowled, arms crossed, brows set. They didn’t have to speak their distaste for Jun-Seo’s apparent partner, it was written in their body language.

          “It’s lovely to see you too,” He said. His eyes didn’t glance at the elder males but landed squarely on Yoongi and Euna.

          “Lee Euna, is that how you greet me?” He questioned, a hand resting on his hip, hair lightly falling in his eyes.

          “I’m so happy to see you!” She bounded off the settee towards him, arms around his neck, holding him close. “I didn’t think I’d get to see you before the big trip!”

          Yoongi stared, dumbfounded, and blinked quickly, trying to understand the rapid change in her demeanor. Gone were the tears, the anger, the hate that was coursing through her body. It was replaced with care? Genuine excitement? What the hell is the big trip?

          “I had to get in one more family dinner before I’m gone for the month,” The blond smiled warmly at Euna, a twinkle in his eye as he glanced at Yoongi. “Is that?”

          “Oh! This is my boyfriend, Park Yoongi. Yoongi, meet Jun-Seo’s partner, Cho Jimin,” Euna said. The two men exchanged a handshake before sitting down next to their respective partners.

          “How long have you and Jun-Seo been together?” Yoongi inquired.

          “Hm, a year?” Jun-Seo replied, a hand resting gently on Jimin’s thigh.

          “Did you meet at work or-

          “Twenty questions with the twinks! Line em up, it’s time to play!” Dae-Seong yelled, earning a chuckle from his father. “First question, who tops and who bottoms? Follow up, is Jun-Seo as weak of a top as he-

          “Dinner is ready,” The head of house said, stepping into the room just in time. Rolling his eyes, Dae-Seong stood.

          “You’re gonna need your strength,” He winked at Jimin before brushing past them and heading for the dining room. Yoongi followed obediently and cautiously, taking his time putting one foot in front of the other as he followed the Lee’s. Pausing every so often, he carefully trailed a finger over a surface, leaving a singular mic, completely invisible, behind.

          The dining room was stunning, taken out of the palace of Versailles with a Korean twist, the marble floors and ornate chandeliers were out of this world. Flowers blooming in ancient vases, artwork that looked to be that of Picasso and An Kyŏn, Monet and Manet, lining the walls like the Louvre. There wasn’t anything the Lee’s money couldn’t buy, even 15th century originals were bound to become fodder in their quest for prestige.

          Draped across the table, a gold runner, glittering with what could only be described as actual gold flakes. Waterford Crystal glasses, and hand painted china rested delicately against the gold, the white shining brilliantly under the lights of the chandelier. Awaiting the guests, an endless array of traditional Korean food: Jjajangmyeon, Bulgogi, Samgyetang, Kalguksu, Galbi, Dubu Kimchi, Kimchi Fried Rice, with bowls of Hobakjuk as everyone’s appetizers, and Gyeranjjim waiting on a refined plate to be consumed with each passing spice.

          Yoongi’s eyes were wide, his lungs breathing rapidly to take in the scents of home, of familiarity. How peculiar to be eating the cuisine of his ancestors, of his blood, in a room with people who would willing spill each other’s.

          “Yoongi, sit next to Dae-Seong.” Mr. Lee instructed.

          Excellent, Namjoon muttered in his ear.

          “Dae-Seong, I hear that you’re making quite a splash as the Chairman,” Yoongi voiced.

          “Only bottom feeders eat my ass, Yoongi. For that you need to see Jun-Seo, appointment only,” Dae-Seong rolled his eyes.

          “Please, do not speak of your brother’s depravity at dinner. Save it for dessert,” Mr. Lee scolded, eyes hard on Dae-Seong.

          “When are we going to discuss Kwan-Min’s latest triste?” Jun-Seo inquired.

          “Now seems like the perfect opportunity,” Mr. Lee answered. “Dae-Seong?”

          In some sort of twisted ritual, Dae-Seong cracked his knuckles, then his neck, swirled a sip of whiskey between his lips and leaned in. Batting his eyes delicately at Kwan, he bared his teeth. Yoongi restrained from asking “you getting this?” to his team, because they were in fact, watching with bated breath.

          “The category is, colossal fuck ups. The reining champ, for the first time in, Euna, how old are you? Never mind, age has no number when you’re a twat. Kwan-Min, for a million dollars, explain how you found yourself cunt up with a political fundraiser? I’m sorry, a Republican political fundraiser?”

          Mrs. Lee gasped, her soup spoon dropping aggressively into her bowl, rattling the china. Euna didn’t look up, but quietly shoveled soup into her mouth, feigning ignorance.

          “Kwan-Min, how could you?” Mrs. Lee demanded.

          “If the rumors are true, and we’ll need Jun to confirm, Mr. Brady, I believe?” Dae-Seong inhales, eyes never leaving Kwan’s, voice even, “He’s particularly gifted in a few areas, and very well endowed and what was that other word? Oh yes, generous.”

          “Quite a generous tongue on that one,” Jun responded, shame flickering past his eyes in a brief moment before his resolve solidified.

          “How could you?” Mrs. Lee repeats again. “You are the second eldest of this family, the face of our philanthropy, and you are consorting with a known republican? Not to mention a man so cruel he, he,

          “He thinks Dae-Seong is weak,” Euna spoke. Her wavering voice echoed over the table, everyone’s eyes turning to her. “I mean, that’s what you’re doing, right Kwan? Find someone so repugnant that Dae is outraged, spurring on another break down in hopes he’ll OD and you’ll what, become chairwoman of the board?”

          “Fuck you for insinuating I make my decisions based on Dae. Do you live and breathe at his request?” Kwan spat, the heat from the food and the fight rising in her cheeks.

          “No,” Euna was incredulous, how could Kwan assume that?

          Through gritted teeth she responded, “Neither do I.”

          “For two million, Mr. Chairman,” Jun motioned toward Dae, “explain to us how you could be fucking a member of the opposing party, who has tried to ruin this family numerous times? Is the dick that great?” Jun-Seo pressed.

          “Don’t pretend that you haven’t fucked him, fag,” Dae laughed. “You two are the biggest whores in the game.”

          “That’s not true,”

          “The fact that you’re Eskimo siblings, not once, not twice, but have shared more than three sexual partners is revolting. You’re fucking freaks, sodomizing the legacy of this family for some log cabin taint who can’t even be bothered to pay the child support for the kids he knows about.”

          “How do you know so many categories of gay men?” Euna asked, eyes narrowing at Dae-Seong, “You been experimenting?”

          “Oh, don’t even get me started on you and your choices, Euna,” Dae rolled his eyes then glanced at Jun-Seo, who was sneering at him.

          “What could you possibly say that you haven’t before?” Euna cackled, a sound so foreign Yoongi can’t help but feel his eyes bug out.

          “Whoa,” Mr. Handsome says in his ear.

          “Oh shit,” RM responds.  

          “You’re not even worth discussing,” Kwan-Min stepped in, and swinging the last of her cocktail back, she turned to Dae-Seong. “I’m more interested in your affinity for homosexual stereotypes. Tell me, when you’re alone in your house, your wife sleeping in a separate apartment, cities away, is that what you’re watching? Is that what gets you off? Picturing a willing gaping hole, just waiting to be ruined? Or no, I’m sorry, but Jun, don’t you think he’d be-

          “A power bottom? Absolutely, he spends his nights ogling over submissive bears, trying to find one big enough to fill him, scrolling through chatrooms under, what was his username?” Jun-Seo doesn’t look at Kwan, he knows she understands what is about to transpire.

          “Beary-willing007,” They recite together.

          J-Hope guffaws in Suga’s ear, followed by a loud “oh shit!”

          “I can’t imagine how it would look if your little, what did you call it?” Kwan asked.

          “The twink or the fag?” Jun-Seo repeated Dae’s words so seamlessly, so effortlessly, to a blind eye it would’ve been hard to tell that Jun wasn’t Dae’s twin.

          “Both, if your nefarious activities and browser history was discovered, or dare a say, leaked?” Kwan raised an eyebrow.

          “You think you scare me?” Dae-Seong asked. “Summer, 2012, what happened to you?”

          “Why would you bring that up?” Kwan’s glare faltered, a subtle shift in her brow, the sneer dipping before returning at full capacity.

          “We need to know what happened summer 12,” RM stated, voice low as he jotted down the date.

          “You want to throw dirty laundry out into the open, might as well air yours,”

          “Fuck you,”

          “I didn’t start this,”

          “Yes you did,”

          “Jun-Seo, care to tell us what happened to you winter, 2014?”

          “No,”

          “I thought so,” Dae pointed his knife at each of them, “Before you go accusing me of being a fucking homo, check that I don’t have your history sealed and filed.”

          “Did you get that?” RM asked.

          “Yeah, got it,” J-Hope responded.

          “And Euna,” Dae turned his attention to his youngest sibling, who sat quietly eating her food. “Don’t ever bring a bottom feeder home again, unless he’s going to eat my ass, you hear me? Or I will do to you what was done to Kwan-pussy-ass-Min.”

          “Fuck you Dae,” Euna spewed.

          “Excuse me?” He yelled, standing to his full height.

          “I said, fuck you,” Euna repeated with a little more gumption.

          “Oh Euna, little Euna, too smart for everyone, too polite and meek to ever be taken seriously, to fucking boring and oblivious to know that her boyfriend’s only date her for access or career status, so stupid that she can’t recognize that the only reason she’s getting the company is that she’s so incompetent, no one will believe her when –

          “Dae-Seong!” Mr. Lee yelled.

          “Don’t bring a fucking knife to a gun fight, Euna, I will end you.” He seethed.

          “What is your problem with Yoongi? He’s the first man I bring home and you-

          “What do you not understand about our family? What do you not understand about the caliber of person we need to be with in order to-

          “What, watch porn, order sex workers and pray the gay away?” Euna yelled.

          “Watch your tone,” Mr. Valentine said.

          “You’re acting like you don’t have secrets, like your marriage is pure and good, it’s not Dae. I don’t blame her for leaving you, anyone with a modicum of sense would see that you are nothing more than a toxic, manipulative, alcoholic coke head, who only has his job because daddy loves him the most.”

          “You think your relationship with Yoongi is going to be any different?” Jun-Seo spoke up, deflecting from the rising anger in Dae. “What makes you so special?”

          “First, I love him,” Euna responded, earning a scoff and eyeroll from every member of the Lee family. “Second, if he makes it out alive from this dinner with you assholes, then he truly is the most resilient person in the world. Finally,”

          “Thank fuck,” Jun-Seo exclaimed.

          “Finally, he was raised to be kind and respectful, unlike the four of us,” Euna concluded with a haughty exhale and a glare at her mother.

          “Wait – are you sure that’s not just Seokjin in a new suit?” Dae-Seong cackled, nodding at their father who also laughed.

          “I hate this family,” Euna rose and tossed her napkin on the floor, a dramatic flair that sent her brothers and father into a fit of laughter.

          “You act like you aren’t the ingrown hair on the taint of this family, and I think I speak for all of us when I say that I would love to extract you,” Dae said.

          His words hung in the air as Euna walked out of the living room, Yoongi on her tail.

          Catching up to her, Yoongi reached for her hand, which she hastily pulled away.

          “Euna,” His voice was measured.

          “Can we please just go?” She whispered, tears beginning to stream down her face.

          “Yeah, can I just run to the bathroom quick? Grab the coats and I’ll meet you outside,” He pressed a kiss to her forehead before following one of the workers to the nearest bathroom. Hoping to shake the worker, Yoongi deftly exited the bathroom before wandering down the hall. He followed the sound of voices and stopped short of what he assumed was Mr. Lee’s office.

          Mr. Lee stood next to Dae-Seong, a fresh glass of whiskey in hand. “Did you read the brief on UAE?”

          “Yes,” Dae-Seong answered.

          “I want your recommendations tomorrow by 9AM,” Mr. Lee instructed, “None of that pussy shit you drew up for Spain, either.”

          “Pussy shit in Spain is child’s play in the Emirates. I’ll bring something, nuclear,”

          “Don’t jerk me around like you do with your pathetic excuse for a cock, Dae. I do not want to have to fire you and replace you with Jun-Seo,” Mr. Lee slammed his glass down before retreating through a door Yoongi hadn’t seen when he’d glanced in.

          “I’m sorry father, I will have the materials ready,” Dae’s voice was pathetic, deflated in the wake of his father’s anger. He hated being belittled and demeaned, hated the hurt his father hurled at him, the constant need for him to be better than everyone else. He hated how easily it came to Euna, how she could understand the numbers and draw connections within seconds of being presented with the problem. He hated Euna’s prowess, how businessmen and women flocked to her, a cello prodigy, ballet star in training, perfect grades, whored out to different branches so she could learn the business. Every fuck up Dae-Seong had made resulted in Euna’s success, and their father and mother, though more covertly, had egged his jealousy on.

          Yoongi placed a mic on the inside of the door before slipping back into the hallway and out of the Lee estate, to Euna’s embrace.

          “Your place or mine?” He asked as he sat in the driver’s seat of his car.

          “Anywhere but here,” She responded, eyes blinking down tears as Yoongi drove.

Next: Searching for Seokjin Pt. 2

[thebeautyofdisorder]

The Undone & The Divine (BBC Dracula) - Chapter 7

A/N: Okay, here is the next chapter finally. Nothing quite so... explicit as last chapter, but fun none the less. A lot of conversation/exposition, and Zoe may or may not be inadvertently sciencing her way into a crossover opportunity that I won’t take, but she does have a mind of her own, that one. Drac does a bit of grumpy pining.

Pairing: Dracula & Agatha/Zoe, Dracula/OFC

Rating: M, for blood, language, mercenaries with guns, and direct references to sexual acts performed in the last chapter.

Chapters 1-2 Here - Chapter 3 Here - Chapter 4 Here - Chapter 5 Here - Chapter 6 Here

Can be found on AO3 - Right HERE - or enjoy below the cut

“I don’t think she’s coming, sire.”

Dracula looked up from where he’d been absently staring off into the abyss - granted the abyss did look an awful lot like his front door, to meet the infuriatingly attentive gaze of Frank Renfield, as he stirred his tea, and pretended to peruse the morning paper.

“I’m sorry?” It was less of a question of clarification, and more a second chance to remedy his daring presumption, though apparently this did not occur to the lawyer at all.

“Dr. Helsing. I think she’s far more stubborn than even you give her credit for.”

“What exactly gives you the idea that I’m waiting for anyone, much less her?” he challenged, quirking a brow at his rather unwelcome company. He had asked for daily updates on his current investments, true, but it wasn’t necessarily his intention to have the man pop up at random hours of the morning to do so. Just because he could be a morning person now certainly didn’t mean that he actually wanted to be.

“I’ve never seen you so disinterested in sustenance when it’s right in front of you, unless she’s involved, of course.”

The vampire was very tempted to rip the knowing smile right from his skull, but barely managed to restrain himself out of sheer disinterest at working to find another malleable Londoner to do his business. Picking up his sadly cooled breakfast, he drained the glass simply out of spite and sat it back down with a force just shy from shattering it.

“I don’t pay you to psychoanalyze me, Frank,” he warned, barely concealed with a charming edge of fondness that came off even more menacing than any blatant threat, as he stood to his full height and paced over to the window.

The lawyer paled. “Yes, master.”

“What’s my schedule for this evening?”

“I believe you indicated you were finishing off your first experiment tonight, Count. The painter.”

“Ah. Yes,” he confirmed, even as he proceeded to juggle his mobile phone between his hands distractedly, mind somewhere else entirely. “I might...hold off on that for another week. Can’t be too hasty...I really don’t want anymore failures on my hands. And perhaps we should really begin to encourage the writing of wills in this process… When is that ‘natural burial’ movement going to be ‘en vogue’ over here, you think?”

“In a city this size? Hard to say…” Frank winced, seeming to fall silent far longer than necessary to think about it, and Dracula was really beginning to regret meddling with his mental faculties so much. It did, however, shut him up long enough for him to send a text to the woman he'd just been accused of thinking about.

HAVE YOU RECONSIDERED JOINING ME FOR DINNER?

After three minutes of silence, Dracula scowled and refocused on Renfield's babbling, which had taken back up after his initial, blissful silence. Something about 'death positivity' which brought a brief smirk to his lips. Just when he thought humanity had lost its sense of reality entirely.

You text like my grandfather.

The Count grinned in partial triumph. Partial because while she'd certainly replied, she didn't seem nearly as outraged as he'd dearly hoped. Would have to remedy that. Very soon.

BUSY?

Very busy. How did you get my number?

HUNGRY? 🍷

No.

LIAR.

Show off.

Renfield had the audacity to clear his throat.

-----

Peaking into the disheveled mass of books, vials, and files that had become the current state of Zoe Van Helsing’s office, Bloxham at first mistook it for empty. The lights were dimmed, and the chair behind the desk was not only lacking in an occupant, but instead was serving as an unsteady shelf for what looked to be a hundred-year-old phonograph.

“The sign specifically said ‘do not disturb’, didn’t it?”

Dr. Bloxham spun around suddenly, placing a hand to her chest in shock as her eyes adjusted to the far corner of the room, where a small pseudo lab seemed to be occupying the back corner. Zoe was standing still as a statue, frozen in the midst of studying a vial of a thick red substance by shining a black light through it. She stayed frozen.

“Jesus, Zoe you scared the shit out of me,” she remarked at first. “And actually it says ‘danger: enter at your own risk’ but it was so bloody dark in here I thought you’d gone home.”

“All the same, get out. I’m busy,” Zoe murmured tightly, and her colleague frowned, making no motion to leave as of yet.

“Zoe...you haven’t been coming to meetings, nor have you really spoken to anyone in a week. Is everything...alright?”

“Fine. Just dandy. Now get out, please.”

“Sarcasm, much? I’m just...worried.”

Zoe still hadn’t moved. In fact, she was forcing herself to stay rooted to the spot, or she wasn’t entirely certain what she would do. A sudden shuffling outside the door, however, pulled her away from her steely focus and her eyes shot up with inhuman speed to the door where a crack of light cut through the carpet.

“Who else is with you?” Zoe asked, eyes shooting towards the other woman directly for the first time since she’d entered.

Bloxham swallowed audibly, eyes darting quickly away to avoid eye contact.

“Look, our sponsor has been sending inquiries about this...situation, and we need to provide him with answers. I thought if I could get a glimpse of your research, we could figure out what it is you’re doing and give a proper update…"

“Dr. Bloxham… Kate I really need you to go. My research is mine and until it’s complete, I have no interest in sharing it,” Zoe stated firmly.

Dr. Bloxham advanced forward a step. “But Zoe-”

Zoe’s grip on the vial in her hand tightened and the glass gave a warning crackle that froze the shorter woman in her place.

“Leave!” The words came out in nothing short of a growl, and had the exact opposite effect on the situation that she’d intended or hoped.

The door swung the rest of the way open with a deafening bang and two large men with guns came in behind Dr. Bloxham, only halting their approach at the raise of her hand.

“That won’t be necessary boys, thank you,” she stated with carefully practiced calm, even though Zoe could hear the thrumming of her pulse hitting an anxious high speed. She forced her fingers, which had flexed into something resembling claws, to relax, though her spine stiffened further. Would guns hurt her? Maybe, maybe not but it would certainly lead to a load of inconvenience even if they didn’t - more so if they didn’t, she decided.

Ignoring the intrusion completely, even as they seemed to stand down, Zoe addressed Bloxham directly. “Is this really where you’re going with this? I’m not an animal, Dr. Bloxham. In fact, I’m doing everything in my power to avoid that outcome, and would like to continue to do it in peace.”

She slammed the glass beaker down and against better judgement beckoned her reluctant colleague forward.

“Come. Look.”

She hesitated, but gesturing a casual hand back at the men at her back, she approached Zoe, who distinctly moved out of the way entirely.

“What am I looking at?”

“Just a basic five-senses test, Doctor, what do they tell you?”

Kate leant down at eye level with the beaker, perusing it, picking it up and shifting the substance around, taking a whiff of it.

“It smells, looks, and behaves like blood. De-fibrillated, if I had to guess - from who or what I don’t know.”

Zoe looked minutely pleased, though was still almost robot stiff as she handed a folder over to her.

“It’s a protein and nutrient compound. I'm running a few...tests to see if I can find a supplemental vampiric food source. The information is all there."

Bloxham took the folder with a glance of astonished intrigue, and greedily began to look over the contents, forgetting about her intimidation tactics. Momentarily, at least.

"Could this actually work?"

"To keep them alive...yes, potentially. Or to ward off the cravings and reduce the need to result in homicide, at the least. As for the grander implications… I don't know."

"You need a subject."

"I am the subject."

The other doctor nodded briefly, biting her lip and pacing back towards the desk, folder still in her hands.

"You think he's infecting others?'

"I know he is," Zoe scoffed, the distance between them making it somewhat easier to function. To breathe, however much she still could.

"And have you run any trials yet?"

"With a couple more tweaks, I was planning to start this evening."

Bloxham gestured with her eyes toward the phonograph, and the exceedingly out of place stack of various religious texts and mythos.

"These?"

"Doing some updates on my great grandfather's research.  None of which is replaceable, ergo my want for privacy."

She nodded, understanding but not commenting. It was one of the things Zoe always appreciated about her - she never spoke without thinking first.

"I would like you to run this as an official experiment in the lab, if only for the sake of an external eye. First hand trials are never 100% accurate - we both know that. You can't afford to miss something. If you feel...unsafe with the others, we can isolate you where you can still be observed - at your discretion, of course. And all of your private research will remain that way, you have my word."

Zoe pursed her lips into a thin line, weighing her options. Who was she kidding, she didn't have options. She had partial control or none at all; a glass box or an autopsy table. This was a negotiation of surrender.

"All right. Fine."

-----

“...The second son of Vlad II became ruler of Wallachia in 1436, leading to one of the bloodiest but most successful reigns in Romanian history simply by fearful reputation alone. Drakula as he was often called, in his day simply in honor of his father meaning 'Son of the Dragon'. Now it just adds to his legend, since 'Dracul' in modern Romanian more accurately translates to Devil. A very literal interpretation of dying a hero or living long enough to see yourself becoming The Villain ™ …"

Kat skimmed the notes for at least the fifth time, mindlessly chewing her nail polish off her thumb in a manic, nervous habit she thought she'd squashed at 16. She hadn't made it to class that morning - hell, she didn't even hear her alarm. It had blared for three hours before her mind swam its way back to consciousness.

He'd been gone when she awoke finally, the mid-morning sun streaming harshly through her curtains. He left her a note, written in comically perfect cursive on the back of a concert flyer, with his mobile number scrawled across the top, laid on her bedside table atop the book he'd brought her.

I had to run for a meeting early. Enjoy the book. - D

P.S. I did try to fix your shelf, though I do believe I owe you a new lamp.

Her cheeks were still burning hotter than her coffee as she later sat down to email her professor, claiming sudden illness and begging a forward of his notes. Luckily he was a pretty laid back type or it would have been twice as humiliating to think she was effectively calling in due to being fucked into oblivion.

She'd barely recalled being conscious after, though she knew she had been. Though the memory of laughing off the wall-pounding complaints of her next door neighbor was swimming interchangeably with the images of her very bizarre dream. At least she'd assumed it was a dream - men sprouting fangs was clearly her orgasm-delirious brain reacting to last week's ill-timed Buffy marathon and too many re-readings of Legends of the Carpathians. It had to be.

That was her logic anyway, up until she looked at herself in the floor length mirror after jumping in the shower, and found herself marveling there far too long. She wasn't one to complain about a hickey or two, but her fingers trailed the jagged white indentation of teeth at the juncture of her neck and shoulder -  a pale slash interrupting the bruised flesh - and shivered. Red, stripe-like lines trailed the length of her legs and hips, unfaded and tangible. There was even still a red gash-like mark on her shoulder where the strap of her camisole had dug into her flesh as he ripped it like it was made of crepe paper.

Her mind returned to those notes, lingering on the name 'Drakula' far too long without coming up with a real reason to be so concerned. It could be an ancestor or a weird inside joke of an alias she had missed. For all she knew of Romanian customs it could be a fairly common name there now.

"Impaled by Vlad the Impaler...ridiculous," she joked, half audibly to herself

"I quite like the sound of that."

A bonafide squeak of surprise rose out of her throat, though she didn't have the time to be humiliated as the tall shadow of the man himself showed up in the mirror behind her, taking up the whole of her bedroom door frame.

"Apologies, it was unlocked. I did knock to be fair, but I can see why you didn't hear." His eyes were locked on her body still dripping from the shower, a towel barely clasped around to cover the important bits.

Kat quickly caught her breath, forcing a chuckle. "No, it's...alright. I was just trying to...go over my notes," she excused, gesturing to where her laptop sat open on the desk in the corner.

"Didn't make it out of bed this morning," She shot him a look of playful accusation, before turning back to the mirror, already dismissing her earlier fears now that she was seeing him in broad daylight for the first time. He was definitely not a big pile of dust, or if he was he was the most attractive one she'd ever seen.

He made a show of wincing. "I suppose that was my fault." He paced forward, meeting her eyes through their reflections as he approached, tracing a finger down the side of her neck and over her shoulder, skimming the harsh redness. "This definitely was."

Her breath stuttered audibly and she felt her lower muscles clench almost painfully just at the barest reminder of his presence.

"Yeah...you… go a bit feral, don't you?" She breathed, fingers tracing her legs as well.

"You do make a lovely canvas." He smirked lightly, but other than meeting her reflection's gaze, he looked away from the mirror entirely, and brushed his lips over the bite mark as he turned away.

Well, he certainly has a reflection, she couldn't help but muse as she remembered to breathe, watching his backside as he paced over to the laptop casually.

"I see you're onto the 15th century."

"Yes… family of yours?" She prodded with mild curiosity, as she adjusted the towel.

He was silent for a moment , as though debating just how directly to answer.

"Something like that," he seemed to settle with, and despite lifting a curious brow she didn't pry. Something in his eyes brooked no reproach, as funny as that felt to think.

"I unfortunately need to be going again," he added before she could think of any further inquiry, or pounce on him again as she was half wont to do.

"I mainly just came to replace your lamp," he said, stepping back to the hall and pulling up a bag he had left on the floor, offering it to her.

She couldn't help but laugh as she took it from him.. "Why thank you."

Not that she could ever look at the bloody thing again without remembering knocking it onto the floor to smash into pieces as he pounded her into next week. Though judging from the demonic glint in his eyes as he pressed an otherwise chaste kiss to her knuckles in farewell, that was exactly what he'd intended.

----

She felt him before she saw him. It was both refreshing and annoying that he couldn't sneak up on her anymore, even if it just meant a few more minutes of blissful ignorance before he intruded on her evening.

"You shouldn't be here."

He was even more annoyed by it if the disgruntled sigh was anything to go by. He remained at a distance in the shadows nonetheless.

"Neither should you, Zoe," Dracula warned in a tone that was so low, it was almost genuine in its concern. "I know what you're doing, at least in part, and while the effort is admirable it's not going to work."

"And how would you know?" She snapped, frustration lacing her words as she tried desperately to keep her eyes on the screen in front of her. "Have you ever even tried not killing anyone? Of course not, because you enjoy it too much. You're a monster and that's how you like it." She slammed a few keys with audible force.

Dracula scoffed, approaching from the shadows with an affronted air. "What do you call what I've been doing?! I would think you'd appreciate the gesture."

Her eyes narrowed, incredulous confusion colored by exasperation. "I'm sorry, are saying you attempting not to murder half of London is supposed to impress me?"

"Yes, of course."

At that she couldn't help but laugh, for probably the first time in months, though it contained plenty of Agatha's sardonic mirth as well.

"You really are a 500 year old infant, aren't you?"

His lips formed into an exaggerated pout, barely masking his amusement. "Is that what she's said about me?"

"Among many other things, yes," Zoe confirmed dryly, standing to her feet. They both knew he was speaking of Agatha, though whether he knew about the letters she wasn't sure, nor did she want to bring it up. Not yet.

"And what about the girl who's throat you almost ripped out last night? Or did you? Was that out of spite or just the chance to show off?"

"She's perfectly fine.  Actually I would say I improved her night immensely ." The lascivious tone was blatant and twice as irritating as he leaned over the desk towards her.

Her nostrils flared as the breath expelled through his words lingered between them, smelling of blood.

"You're revolting." She despised that the words came out in a gasp.

"And deep down, you enjoy it."

"Like I enjoyed cancer."

He smirked, though there was a bitter edge of impatience to it.

"They're going to try to kill you, you know. And you don't have the strength to fight it."

"Then I suppose I'll die," she dismissed, just to irritate him. In truth it was something she was concerned with as well, but the last thing she wanted was for him to know it

He scowled briefly though it manifested as more of a snarl, pulling a hip flask from his pocket and placing it on the desk between them. An offering, given in silence.

Zoe barely looked at it. "And which one of your conquests did that come from?"

"Leading hematologist in London - willingly donated in a sterile, medical setting - very much alive and happily at home with his idiotic family as we speak. If and when you could use the boost - or the expertise."

"Not necessary," she ground out, doing her best to ignore its presence entirely. Not to mention the implication he was even offering assistance in his selfish, convoluted way, despite his opposition to her plan.

Dracula could have opened it and left her with no choice, but he didn't. Instead, he straightened to his full height and met her eyes again with a sigh as he made his way back towards the door. Where he’d actually gotten in without notice, she had no idea, and she’d rather not think about it..

"Good luck, Dr. Helsing," he bade her farewell, unable to resist adding sardonically: "You'll need it."

----

Sooo... Zoe’s kind of trying to invent True Blood, and I’m a whore for Drac being a suck up (no pun intended). This is going to get...interesting.

Tag List: @break-free-killer-queen @mephdcosplay @charlesdances @punk-courtesan @crowley-needs-a-hug @hoefordarkness @bellamortislife @malkaviangirl @imagineandimagine @chelsfic @my-fanfic-library @mymagicsuitcase @littlemessyjessi @desperatefrenchwriter @crazytxgradstudent @ginevra-weasley @iloveclaesbang @mr-kisskiss-bangbang @carydorse @hyacinth-meadow @vampiregirl1797 @dreamerkim @gatissed @alhoyin @girlonfireice @dracula-s-bride @festering-queen @jangleprojet @ss9slb

[shkspr]

100% feel free to disregard but as i respect your opinion on a lot of things... i was wondering how you rectify your sexuality (i feel like i remember u being wlw/attracted to women? if not sorry please correct me) with being attracted to fictional men. im currently struggling w figuring out my sexuality / whats comphet and whats not and me being into so many fictional men sows so much doubt :/ thx martin

omg absolutely i am always willing to answer questions abt this bc i know it is a source of anxiety for a lot of ppl & it has been for me as well & i am happy to help!! so right off the bat just to be clear: i’m fully 100% a lesbian as in i am only attracted to women & i only want to be romantically & sexually involved w women, including nb women (which i am) & trans women ofc. i am not an expert nor an authority on...anything at all, but i will tell you what i think & feel re: comphet & fictional men crushes.

as far as physical attraction or aesthetic appreciation, it’s as simple as the fact that there is no line btwn men & women in that sense? i can look at a man & know that he’s attractive bc ostensibly a woman could look the exact same, & there’s no reason for me to. pretend that a man isn’t attractive just bc he’s a man. 

now for like, Crushes, with an emotional aspect to them? for me it’s all about two things: 1. they’re nonthreatening & 2. they’re unattainable. & both of those things feed into the most important thing, which is that it’s not real. comphet crushes are not real crushes! they’re the product of my brain working around its own doubts & societal expectations to convince me that i could maybe possibly be attracted to a man.

the thing is, celebrity & fictional character crushes are halfway there, being unattainable by nature. & it’s much, much easier to see men as nonthreatening when you know very little abt them personally & you know for a fact you will never be in a position to be hurt by them in any way. & if, like me, you fixate on celebrities whose public persona is Perfect, then you’re good to go. you don’t know who they are, & you have a crush on an idea.

fictional crushes are similar, like. they’re not real & that’s exactly why they have the traits necessary for a comphet crush. i can confidently say that if real men existed who could live up to my image of my fictional/celebrity crushes, then i would probably be bi. but those men literally do not exist. 

so like, at the end of the day the questions for me are: 1. if this person were a woman, would it change anything abt the way i see them? & 2. if this person were pursuing me irl, would it change the way i feel abt them? 

when it comes to these crushes, the answer to question 1 is almost always no, bc they don’t possess the incommunicable “man-ness” that makes me not want to get involved w men. there’s really no better way to put it. & the answer to question 2 is almost always yes, bc “pursuing me irl” is one of the specific things that my comphet crushes lack which makes them nonthreatening.  

the bottom line is that i never want to engage in romantic or sexual interactions with any man in real life, in theory or in practice. it’s not the same thing as “political lesbianism” bc i’m not having those feelings & desires but choosing not to act on them. my having those thoughts is contingent upon the “acting on it” being a nonissue. not an option.

there’s also something to be said for exaggeration/joking esp when it comes to online posts. like in the sense that even if i’m talking abt a woman i don’t always mean exactly what i say. but at the end of the day, it’s just that... if you’re “attracted” to “men” under these very specific circumstances every other tuesday if you squint, then you’re not attracted to men.

[cockasinthebird]

Tagged by @lostnoise thank you bby I love you!!!

Also, putting it under a read-more because damn bitch you long

Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen: Actually, when I am, once upon a blue moon, tortured with the unnecessary need to write in hand, I use a green pen! But black if I have to choose between those

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city: BOTH my parents fucking live on the country side and I... fucking hate it... City, city city city, through and through, give me cement and cars and loud noises, I do not care for trees and grass and bugs.

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be: ...singing.

Do you drink coffee/tea with sugar: Coffee with honey and tea with sugar, I have a HUGE sweet tooth holy fuck

What was your favourite book as a child: I had the HUGEST fucking crush on Artemis Fowl, like holy fucking shit I was IN LOVE with that lil genius bastard, and I still look back upon it fondly

Do you prefer baths or showers: WELL, you see, in my lil country o’ origin, Denmark, bath tubs are very very very rare, so I have never had a bath in that sense since I could fit in the sink... so showers, I guess

If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be: Anything with wings, beyond the ability to fly I am not picky

Paper or electronic books: Paper smells fantastic, and oh the aesthetic of it all, but for actually reading, e-books, so I buy both

What is your favourite item of clothing: Skinny jeans, because I look fucking AMAZING in them, man...

Do you like your name, or would you like to change it: HA nope I HATE my name, it is IMPOSSIBLE to pronounce if you’re not Scandinavian, and I have often considered changing my name to Alex, which, funny story, my mom wanted me to be named Alexander if I was a boy, so??? Coincidence??? I THINK NOT!

Who is a mentor to you: I’m supposed to have one??

Would you like to be famous, if so, what for: Oh God yes, holy fucking shit I want people to ask for my autograph and turn their heads whispering Is that them?? As for what for, well, ideally it’d be for being a huge broadway star, but since I can’t sing worth shit, I’ll settle for being Netflix’ next wonderchild of a writer!

Are you a restless sleeper: YUP, fuck yes, oh GOD, I have insomnia for various reasons, so I toss and turn I can’t sleep at night, oh, and I wake a good dozen times too

Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person: Fuck yeah, I wanna date someone I can send flowers to at work, always buy their favourite snacks, cook dinner and eat by candles, eat out and eat out, and just... ye.

Which element best represents you: I’m the Avatar

Who do you want to be closer to: See some of these questions are really setting me up to say Dacre or Joe, but instead I’ll say the Moon

Do you miss someone at the moment: Psh HA yes, but for not very PG reasons

Tell us about an early childhood memory: Nahhhh too depressing

What is the strangest thing you have eaten: Hehe, I mean, uhh, pineapple on pizza?? No but I haven’t eaten anything strange ever, really

What are you most thankful for: Money The internet, because without it I’d have never met this many astounding people, been this well-informed, or ever even seen Joe and Dacre in that shower scene

Do you like spicy food: I literally put garlic or chilli in EVERYTHING I cook, god yes, fucking burn me

Have you ever met someone famous: I shook the hand of our Queen once when I was in 3rd grade and she came to visit our school

Do you keep a diary or journal: Nah, I remember every horribly embarrassing thing I’ve ever done in excruciating detail already

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil: God, those are two vastly different things, like, pens are oddly sexy if you do it clean, but a mechanic pencil is nicer to hold and can be erased, so....

What is your star sign: You mean Zodiac??? Because if you don’t then hell if I know, but Capricorn

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy: Oh GOD all good things in life is crunchy!!! Ice cream, chocolate, liquorice, cereal, let me fucking chew

What would you want your legacy to be: Well besides my enormous collection of Harringrove smut, I’d want to make a tv show, that even decades later people still love and enjoy, like the original Star Trek, just something that changes tv culture the way they did

Do you like reading, and what was the last book you read: I am actually not that avid a reader, which shames me a great deal, but the last thing I read was, and yeah I’m serious, Brokeback Mountain... Listen, I work in a thrift store, and someone fucking donated it and I... yeah

How do you show someone you love them: Read my tags on everything I reblog from my fellow creators. That is the closest thing I’ll get to showing love in such an honest way. All love is, to me, is the desire to make other people feel better, make them happy and smile and know that they are appreciated and wanted, and I strive to do that every single day. And letting someone know you were thinking about them, whether it’s by sending them a dumb meme or buying them their favourite snack, because you saw it and thought of them. I hope all my followers know I love them.

Do you like ice in your drinks: God yes, keeps it cold and I am gluttonous enough to just inhale whatever the fuck I’m drinking before the ice melts and waters it all out

What are you afraid of: Growing old

What is your favourite scent: There’s this... laundry detergent my ex used, and... it breaks my heart every time I smell it, but it also just reminds me of the good times we had, lying with my head on their chest, just smelling it, feeling the body heat, being happy, being loved. It makes me ridiculously emotional, and coming upon it unexpectedly so just stops time for me

Do you address older people by their name or surname: Man this is a very cultural question to ask, because here everyone calls each other by their first name, like??? I only know people’s last name if it’s absolutely necessary

If money was not a factor, how would you live your life: LAVISHLY SO! But no, really, I know that this is becoming quite tiring to hear of probably, but I would just sit and write. I would wake up, write, go to bed, and then fulfil human duties between like showering and eating and such. I don’t want to travel or party or anything, I just want to write. Also if this question means I’m rich, I’d ofc have a top floor apartment with the view over the ocean and donate as much as I can to literally all charity organizations

Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean: Well that really depends, because, salt water does wonders for my curls, like damn bitch yes work that beach hair, but also I assume the pool is 100% clean, so

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground: I would wonder why the fuck there’s 50 dollars lying on the ground in a country that doesn’t even accept that currency

Have you ever seen a shooting star, and if so did you make a wish: Of course I have, but I always liked to think of them as aliens trying to contact us in a long and drawn-out Morse code

What is one thing you would want to teach your children: Oof, uhhh, no thank you

If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it: I already got three, and I’m planning on getting a bust of Medusa on my left inner-bicep

What can you hear now: He’s just like all the rest! You can’t trust him! Hurt Someone from the musical A Bronx Tale

Where do you feel the safest: Right here baby, in bed, surrounded by far too many pillows and duvets and plushies, I like a hard bed with soft surroundings like a goddamn nest

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquest: The world and your heart, yes in that order

If you could travel back to any era, which would it be: That really depends!!!! Like am I still me? Do I know everything I know now? Can I come back again? There are wayyy too many questions for me to make an educated answer, but I’d like to see what was before the Big Bang

What is your most used emoji: 💕 But you already knew that!

Describe yourself using one word: Magnificent

What do you regret the most: Fuck I can only choose one???

Last movie you saw: Instant Family, and it was really good!!!

Tagging! No one yet again, because we’ve all done these by now, and I am very happy that I got a chance, too!!!

[ladymarycrawley]

Thank you to @daylightisfadingaway for the tag :)

Put your music on shuffle and answer the questions about each artist.

Name of Artist: Nicki Minaj

What genre are they ? Rap

How long have they been active ? 2007 (omg I thought it was 2011)

Have you ever heard them on the radio ? Yes

Have they released any new music within the last year or two ? Yes

Do they have a male or female vocalist ? Her + every existing artist lmao

Name of Artist: The Script

Would you recommend them ? 100% yes

What is your favourite lyric of theirs ? My fav song is First time (too lazy to think about speific lyrics)

What are their album artworks like ? Well Idk lol, nothing special

If they stopped making music, would you be sad? Not desperate but it’d be sad, yes

If you didn’t know what they look like, based off their music, what you guess they looked like ? Never thought about this

Name of Artist: Harry Styles

How popular are they ? Well a lot, mainly because he was part of 1D

Have you ever seen them perform live ? Nope

How did you find out about them ? Because of 1D lol

What is their sexuality, if known ? I’m pretty sure he’s bi but just my opinion

Is their music easy to dance to ? I don’t think so

Name of Artist: Little Mix

What instrument is the most prominent in their music ? Dunno

Does your family listen to them ? Nope

Are they still making music today ? Yess

Would you want to meet them ? Yes, I’d love to

How represented is this artist in your saved music / collection ? 15 %

Name of Artist: Anitta

When did you discover them ? Four years ago I guess thanks to Neymar

How many albums do they have ? 2 or 3

Which member of the band is closest to your ‘type’ / do you find the most attractive ? 

Have they gone through any line-up changes ? 

Is their music more fun or serious ? Definitely fun

Name of Artist: Shakira

Is the type of music / genre they play something you would typically enjoy or is their sound different for you ? I enjoy her so much cause I love latin music

Based off of their sound, what would a human version of their music look like ? A latin girl/dancer

Could you see yourself getting along with the members personally ? Ofc

Did somebody recommend this band to you ? Uhm nope

Name of Artist: Maluma

How many people are in this band/group ? El pretty boy only

When did they start making music ? Dunno...maybe in 2012?

Do they have any well known songs, if so, which one(s) ? Felices los 4

Do you listen to this artist regularly ? It depends

How would you describe their music ? Caliente

Name of Artist:  Dua Lipa

If they use a stage name, what is their real name(s) ? I guess this is her real name

Do they regularly make pop charts ? Yep

Have you ever met them ? Nope

If they toured in your city, would you go see them ? Maybe

Name of Artist:  Demi Lovato

Are they known for anything else besides music ? For her drug addiction sadly

What is their nationality ? American

Are they a guilty pleasure ? I don’t think so lmao 

Which age group is this artist most popular with ? I think teens/ people in their twenties??

Has this artist ever toured in your country/state/city ? YESS

Name of Artist: U2

Do you think it’s necessary or important to know about their personal life to ‘understand’ their music ? I like them but I’m not into their music enough to confirm or deny it

Have they ever gone on hiatus and did they return ? Uhm I don’t think so

What instruments do they use ? Guitar, drums, voice

What city are they from ? Dublin

What are your experiences with fans of this artist ? None

I tag @capitanogiorgio @messisass @olympiquelionel @vvhitebloodcells and everyone else who wants to do it!

[starchild--27]

85 questions

I was tagged by @kafkascupcake .  This will be fun, so thanks ^^

rules: answer 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

last

1. drink – water with lemon flavour

2. phone call - my hair dresser (if i ignore the fact that i accidently called my dad a few momnets ago when i wanted to look up my last phone call - ofc this had to happen xD)

3. text message - i told some kid from my spanish class tht we didn’t have spanish class last week

4. song you listened to – Californiacation by Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. time you cried - three days ago i think, but i waas at the verge of crying yesterday evening  

6. dated someone twice? – nope. i never dated anyone 

7. kissed someone and regretted it – nope

8. been cheated on – no

9. lost someone special – i’m so grateful to say that i never lost anyone in my life and i am so afraid of the day this will happen to me

10. been depressed - kind of. i have my depressed moments but everyone has at some point

11. gotten drunk and thrown up – never, i’m not drinking much 

fave colours

12. navy blue

13. black

14. metallic shades of basically every colour

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends – i’m always careful with the word friend when it comes to my real life, but let’s say i got to know some people better that have been around for a longer time but i never really interacted with. on the internet things are a little different, so i can say i’ve interacted with a lot of people here and i can’t help but treat them as friends 

16. fallen out of love – not in the last year

17. laughed until you cried - multiple times xD

18. found out someone was talking about you – i really don’t know and i hate that i can’t say this wouldn’t bother me because i really want to know what people think of me - just to be able to understand why they treat me how they do. 

19. met someone who changed you - oh, i really don’t know. i think i didn’t change that much in the last 365 days

20. found out who your friends are – it was a little more than a year ago, but yes i did.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list – i don’t even have facebook

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl – since i don’t have facebook i’ll do this for instagram and there it is probably a minority since i follow countless art pages, celebrities, fanpages, animal pages, political pages, people i don’t know in real life, …

23. do you have any pets - yes - a black cat with the name Black Pearl, which we gave him before i even knew about the song by EXO ^^ his name referred to the ship from Pirates of the Carribbean first xD

24. do you want to change your name – i did in the past, because my name is very rare where i live. but i started to like it after some time. the great thing is that it’s meaning differs since no one really knows it’s true origin. 

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i invited my two best friends but one happened to be sick at that day (ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ) so we were only two but it was great anyway. since i was born the day after walpurgis night we went to the bonfire and spent some time there

26. what time did you wake up today – 7 am but i slept in again and got at 11:20 

27. what were you doing at midnight last night – reading or sleeping, i don’t know for sure

28. what is something you can’t wait for – vacation with my family and the summer holidays in general (school was … much in the last weeks.)

30. what are you listening to right now – the sound of me slamming my fingers on my laptop’s keyboard while writing this lol

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom – i did, in fact to more than one

32. something that gets on your nerves – that i have to go to school for one more year (i hate this place wholeheartedly) but i don’t know what to do with my life after graduating 

33. most visited website - tumblr and youtube

34. hair color – my natural hair colour is brown but i dye it ginger red and i love it

35. long or short hair – pretty long actually, but i have curls so it’s pretty hard to notice how long 

36. do you have a crush on someone -  if we ignore my celebrity crushes then … i don’t know…probably no. i’m not sure about this one boy though but…yeah, i don’t really know him that well and i probably only like the idea i have of how he could be. (this is btw so typical for me xD)

37. what do you like about yourself – don’t get me wrong, i know it sounds tragical and sad, but i don’t have something i like 100% about myself. i am used to it though because i’ve been this way since forever, having high standards for me (and for others probably too, which is very unfair from me) but the closest to 100% is my talent for music.     

38. want any piercings? – only at my ears

39. blood type – A positive

40. nicknames – the most common nickname for my name is Selmi but hardly anyone except for my mom and my sister calls me like that anymore. other than that i have the feeling my friends and i don’t have nicknames but more like pet names for each other. like, i was called “Flauschebausch” (in english “Fluffpuff”) not that long ago (it referred to my hair). i would also count “squirrel”, “the stars” and all that stuff as nicknames but we don’t really call each other often like that in person xD     

41. relationship status - single 

42. zodiac - Taurus (but most of the stuff people say about tauruses are not 100% true for me)

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows – lately i finished Game Of Thrones and i liked it so damn much, especially the ending (i really don’t get why it was so hated, but i’ll not explain further - i don’t want to write an essay here xD). i also enjoy watching Gilmore Girls from time to time, but hardly anyone in my generation knows it. and since i read it at @kafkascupcake ‘s post for this tag i just remembered how much i liked Memories of the Alhambra too (gosh, how i waited for every episode to air … i still remember this impatient feeling so well)

45. tattoos – i’m not allowed to have any yet but i’m thinking about getting smaller ones later since i think tattoos are pretty. buuuuut i’m also afraid because i can’t really imagine the pain

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery – yeah. unspectecular story tho.

48. piercings - only earrings but one of my friends and i plan on getting helix piercings soon (originally this was planned to be done before last christmas but we never found time)

49. sport – no no no no no. i hate it. i always did. i did some horse riding in my childhood but that’s it. i’m just not able to coordinate my body so a fail at basically every kind of sport. and i am easily frustrated when i fail at something so i never really tried to ace sports.  

50. vacation – my last vacation was when i visited Berlin with my two best friends and m next vacation will be in Denmark with my family

51. trainers – Converse Chucks, always and forever

more general

52. eating – i used to be a very picky eater but it gets better with every year. lately i really like spicy food. but i also have a terrible sweet tooth. i am surprised how i am still like super slim …

53. drinking – a trait i inherited from my dad: i love milk. but i also like juices, tea, coffee (with milk ofc xD) and plain water too

54. i’m about to watch – Avengers Endgame. like today. in 2 hrs.

55. waiting for – my train ride to the next bigger city for seeing endgame. and for me getting an idea what i want to do with my life

56. want – to travel and to make music. my two passions

57. get married – i don’t think it’s necessary for a happy relationship but it depends on the person. to be honest, i like the thought of getting married but i totally understand if someone doesn’t like it.

58. career – the biggest question mark in my life rn

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs. i can’t even explain why. but hugs.

60. lips or eyes - i thinj i look at the eyes first. but i am damned if a person has beautiful lips too

61. shorter or taller – taller

62. older or younger - not important

63. nice arms or stomach – yeah ofc stomachs are great. but let’s be real here: i’m a swooning bitch for nice arms.

64. hookup or relationship – relationship. i am a hopeless romantic

65. troublemaker or hesitant - i am an overthinker, which makes me the epitome of hesitant.

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger – never kissed anyone lol

67. drank hard liquor – only mixed with juice

68. lost glasses - yeah. wasn’t cool.bc without glasses i am literally blind

69. turned someone down - kind of.

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someone’s heart – i hope not.

72. had your heart broken – yip. my first heavy crush was not that happy. but i am over it since the guy was and still is a jerk and i don’t even know why i fell for him anymore

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend – never

do you believe in

76. yourself – depends on the situation.

77. miracles - there are moments in which i do

78. love at first sight - yes

79. santa claus -  no

80. kiss on a first date – yeah.. i think itmight happen xD

81. angels - who knows? it would be great though.

other

82. best friend’s name - deer of the sun @swiftfeatherscorner and cat of the moon @fille-de-janvier xD i don’t know if they’d like to have their real names published here but here you ahve their tumblrs

83. eye color - i looked it up someday and it’s called glasz - a strange mix between green, blue and grey with some golden dots and marks. depends on the lightning which colour is stronger.

84. fave movie – impossible to tell.

85. fave actor – also impossible to tell. there are so many good actors in this world

i’m not even sure if 20 people will read this so i’ll just tag everyone who has time to answer 85 questions xD

[hyunjizns]

dating jungwoo

⤷ idk why but jungwoo always gives me the softest, innocent vibe and that’s why he’ll forever be my bb

how you started dating

so i wasn’t sure if to make this an idol au or not but i finally settled for idol because i’m going for that “realistic” feel, lol

how you two met? well it was actually predebut when jungwoo used to work at a café 

you know, to get that extra cash because being a trainee isn’t the eaiest thing

and you frequented that café since it was pretty near to where you lived

you often saw jungwoo because you’d come during his shift and he’d always give you a warm smile 

you couldn’t explain but he was just so welcoming and warm-hearted unlike the other other employees so that was definitely fresh

before you learnt his name you had deemed him “the cute worker with the pretty smile”

seriously, every time he handed you your drink, his cute little smile would appear and your heart basically melted everytime

but tbh, anyone would melt at his smile, it’s precious, okay?

and after handing you your drink, he’d never fail to wish you a good day and ahh !!!

anyway, this continued on for a while until you didn’t even have to tell him your order anymore and he’d just have your drink and name there whoosh

he just knew that well

so you were kinda getting tired of this back and forth and wanted to get to know him better

you did the obvious bc you’re a smart person and slipped him your number when you were giving him a tip and walked away smugly

the look on his face was priceless

yes, we’d have a sh00k jungwoo because, wow, you gave him your number ??

now, now jungwoo is a bit shy so it’d take him a bit to actually text you but when he does you’re basically a candy who just got candy

but look, this boy contemplated what he was gonna say for way too long and spent majority of the time fiddling with his phone

you would never have seen someone type and erase as much as he would’ve then

“y/n, right? wanna meet up soon? this is jungwoo btw”

“sure,, any specific time? i’m free this week”

sure you may have sounded cool in your reply but your were actually just dead inside bc jungwoo !! texted !! you !!

when he sees your reply though, he would be relieved and text you the details

the two of you would kinda just drift into texting cute, soft emojis for the rest of the day

jungwoo is a bit.. clueless.. so it probably wouldn’t seem like a big deal to him unlike you who was practically combusting

p.s: it seems you’ve developed a crush on him,, but to be fair who wouldn’t?

anyway, we can fast forward to when you two actually do meet up, it’s a small bistro and everything is pretty casual 

jungwoo is a bit nervous but so are you so that leads to nervous giggles every second but you two manage through

it was a pretty, nice and calming “date” tbh and you guys started to do it more often

um yeah, that basically meant that your crush on jungwoo was getting bigger

i mean, the boy told you so much about himself already and same for you, you learnt he was a trainee, etc, etc and it just felt you got really close to him

but you weren’t sure if he liked you too since he was a bit odd with his actions

tbh i don’t think he was even planning to tell you because he was sure that it was you who didn’t like him

let’s all give a huge round of applause to his boss lol get it boss? no? okay bye sorry who told you that he knew jungwoo definitely liked you too

sorry, but basically everyone in the cafe knew about you two

and with a little courage from your friends, you found it in yourself to confess

better take no for an answer than never know, right?

so one day you called jungwoo outside and told him that you needed to talk to him and yes that kid was nervous

“I.. I kind of really like you.”

He’d be so shocked that he wouldn’t reply which would make you s c a r e d but then he gets all excited and relieved

“I kind of really like you too!” he was a bit too enthusiastic

and the rest is history 

i made this too long, oops

jungwoo as a boyfriend

we all know that jungwoo is some kind of precious human being that needs to be protected at all costs

yes

well, you’re that human being to him now

idk but we all know how he’s always smiling, well people would be starting to wonder how his cheeks aren’t hurting at how much he smiles when he’s around you

he always looks at you with so much affection in his eyes, it’s unreal

it’s that “ get you a man who looks at you the way *insert* looks at *insert*” meme

so your relationship is basically two angels protecting each other

talking about soft, idk man but this would be one of the purest, softest things for anyone to watch, your interactions would be down right precious

oh gosh, i’m already squealing, jungwoo, i see him legit defining boyfriend goals

like he would spoil the shit out of you and give you whatever you wanted, even if you didn’t ask for it

you’d be telling him it wasn’t necessary but he wouldn’t listen to you

i feel like he’d use that as a way to express himself since physical expression wouldn’t be something that he’s best at

oh yes and taking it slow and making sure you’re comfortable is one of his biggest concerns too

he absolutely doesn’t wanna rush you to do anything that you don’t wanna

as for pda, i don’t think jungwoo would go too far

he seems like the kind of person, no matter how long you’ve been together, to just enjoy soft hand-holding

yeah, your fingers are always intertwined, it’s basically the signature thing in your relationship now

even when you two are alone,he still isn’t the b i g g e s t displayer of affection

you can expect a shit ton of hugs from this one too, and no, i don’t mean those short, seemingly meaningless ones

i’m talking jungwoo style kms with full on embracing, neck snuggling and even some butterfly neck/face kisses on the occasion

his arms would be so tight yet gentle around you

i’m telling you !! this boy treats you as if you were made of legitimate porcelain

as for kisses, i feel like he’s too shy to out right kiss you, especially at the beginning of the relationship so your gonna have to ask or initiate

after he’s more comfortable though, kisses may still be shy but he isn’t afraid to do it himself

his displays of affection are actually the sweetest, like he has the gentlest hands, and does the cutest things, you’d swear he just stepped out of a romance novel

he has actually made a scrap book with all of your couple pics for you

i’m wrecking my bias list help

he’s a cuddler 100% so you can expect a lot of that from him

especially due to the fact that he’d prefer simple dates or those ones where you can just stay at home

you can seriously expect to lie in bed and just be happy with the other’s presence.

but it’s not like that everyday kind of cuddling, he’d prefer that once in a while, significant cuddle session

plus i can see him being really talkative, i don’t think he’d wanna cuddle in silence and most conversation topics would be pretty deep

maybe about your guys’ future since he doesn’t plan to break up soon or ever at that

his favourite position is you beside him with his arm around you so that he could look at your face and every little detail on it

don’t be surprised if you suddenly feel his hand under your shirt !! he just does that innocently 

he’s the boy that’d space out while looking at you because he actually can’t get over your beauty

“ how did i get so lucky ? “

he’d think that all the time

sometimes his hand is already going to brush a strand of your hair from your face before he even notices what he’s doing

yeah, it’s something that he does pretty often too

jungwoo also really cares about the little things, just enjoying small talk

like everyday you can expect him to ask how your day was and if you were okay

on that occasion that you were pissed, he’d freak because he wouldn’t be sure what to do but jungwoo being the good listener that he is, i feel like he’d just let you vent

he’d let you vent all you want while rubbing your back, not saying anything

after, he’d probably offer to make your favourite food/drink or suggest you two do something that he knew you’d enjoy

or maybe sing you one of your favourite songs since he knows that you love his voice ahh

also

okay so y’all remember that iconic vlive when doyoung was asking jungwoo what he wanted for his birthday and yea h sbksks

jungwoo would be cheeky like that pretty often when he wants something

he’s like a puppy that really just needs your love sometimes so 

this boy isn’t showing the signs correctly and you’re like “what do you want babe?”

“i um..” cue stuttering and cute giggles !!

rip you bc you just look at him like ???

“i want your love” he’d smile and tap his cheek

and you’re just like ofc you do and kiss his cheek and that’d make him 12x more giddy oho

jungwoo adores you i swear. every wallpaper on his phone is a photo of both of you

omg my heart is bursting with love for this boy

and like there was that one day when nosy yukhei took up jungwoo’s phone and was sh00k at the number of couple photos, oh dear

that would be teasing material for the other boys to use against him but y’know, jungwoo doesn’t really mind

he wouldn’t be fazed, he’just give them one of those smiles because he’s actually hella proud of those pics

but don’t ask him how things are going because he can’t really reply, he’ll kinda just scratch the back of his neck and again, s m i l e

because he wouldn’t be sure how to explain one of the best things in his life

he isn’t a master of words, y’know!

that’s why short and sweet gestures + compliments are his thing

this was also lowkey a secret relationship and you would always remember the look in his eyes after his first debut stage

you honestly felt so happy for him because you knew he deserved it 

he cried that night and it was just one of the softest things you had ever experienced, like you could tell he didn’t wanna cry but the tears still came

you patted his head as he cried into your shoulder tears of complete happiness

and when you whispered how proud you were of him, that set off more waterworks 

that just proved to you that he isn’t afraid to show his emotion when he’s around you

BuT when it came to super important things like the first “i love you” he was a nervous wreck because he wasn’t sure how you’d respond

but then he’d realise you love him just as much as he loved you so he had nothing to worry about

all in all, you guys would live that innocent relationship and every moment you spent with jungwoo would be deeply cherished

[ocean-butch]

How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.